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1
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,253
So, there I am.
2
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,657
Down on one knee
in the sand,
3
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,627
almost exactly where
I had been seven years before,
4
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:27,394
kissing her.
5
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,396
Waves crashing
in the background,
6
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:33,333
the sun glistening into her
strikingly beautiful green eyes.
7
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,269
And I'm holding up
a diamond ring,
8
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,405
asking her to marry me,
9
00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:39,607
which I'd saved up for
10
00:00:39,641 --> 00:00:41,508
for three fucking years,
by the way.
11
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,577
After 15 minutes
of pouring my soul out,
12
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,847
telling her
how wonderful she is
13
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,515
and how wonderful
our lives now make sense
14
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,551
and how... and how... and how...
and how... and how our future is
15
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,855
nothing but a big shiny,
bright spot.
16
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,393
I mean,
what would you say?
17
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,862
You'd say something?
18
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,964
But, no, no, no.
Nothing.
19
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:06,199
Like, nothing at all.
20
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:09,704
Like, just crickets.
21
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,873
And then tears.
22
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,240
Tears streaming
down my face,
23
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,208
but these are not
tears of joy.
24
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,644
No.
25
00:01:16,678 --> 00:01:18,880
These are not tears of,
"Oh, my God,
26
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,715
now our lives
make sense together
27
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:21,983
and we're gonna
have four kids
28
00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:24,484
and we're gonna
live in Seattle."
29
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:25,887
No.
30
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,789
These are, "How about
I open up your chest,
31
00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:30,424
I take a big fat fucking shit
inside of it,
32
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,926
I zip it up, I wrap you up
in duct tape,
33
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,428
I put you on a chair,
I put a noose around your neck,
34
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:39,499
and then I kick the chair
out from underneath you" tears.
35
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:43,303
Because, you know what?
She goes, "I met someone new.
36
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:47,307
I met someone with a little more
stability," she said.
37
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,242
She goes, "How are you
gonna take care of me
38
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,378
when I'm pregnant?"
39
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:55,750
Um, what was the rent
for the room again?
40
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,852
Oh, right.
Right, right.
41
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,755
So, basically it's
a thousand bucks, flat out.
42
00:02:03,725 --> 00:02:06,359
Okay, uh, that's actually
not too bad.
43
00:02:08,730 --> 00:02:11,465
I'm gonna pass.
44
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:12,667
Great.
45
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,434
Okay.
46
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,970
Great.
47
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,839
I'm just gonna...
48
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,439
I'm gonna go.
49
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,648
Oh, of course
you're gonna pass,
50
00:02:27,682 --> 00:02:30,818
you fucking soul-sucking-Shiva
of a whore!
51
00:02:30,852 --> 00:02:32,552
Why don't you just
go ahead and nut tap
52
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,889
poor ol' Greg's testes
and rip out his uvula
53
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,423
while you're at it!
54
00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:43,530
Get in line,
you fucking blonde cracker!
55
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,332
Hey, Ms. Dalton.
56
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:46,433
It's good to see you
this morning.
57
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:49,536
Hey!
58
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:51,806
Love that new landscape!
59
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,641
Killer perennials.
60
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:04,879
Once upon a time,
a poor aspiring writer
61
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,682
named Greg
was drowning in heartbreak.
62
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,516
The love of his life, Ashley,
63
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,085
had just fucked the shit
64
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,621
out of their couples
therapist, Dr. Wilbon.
65
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,723
This begins
the sad, sad tale
66
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:19,060
of a hopeless love addict
trying to find love once again.
67
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:22,730
And along the way,
a roommate, too.
68
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,844
Greg, it's your sister.
Wake up.
69
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,621
Oh.
70
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,189
There it is.
71
00:04:57,098 --> 00:04:59,667
Argh.
72
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,468
Oh, God, it's you.
73
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,743
Mom said you still
can't find a roommate?
74
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,646
Yeah, not yet.
75
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:12,847
I'm being selective.
76
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,048
Yeah.
77
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,783
Oh, hey, by the way, Greg.
78
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:19,053
Dan and I are having a little
dinner party on Saturday
79
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,621
and I really think
you should come.
80
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,657
Mm, I don't know.
81
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,959
I'm kind of on the fence
about human beings right now.
82
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,459
Oh, speaking of human beings,
83
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,696
please do not miss
your 3:00 p.m. workout
84
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,197
with my trainer, Hector.
85
00:05:30,231 --> 00:05:31,732
Oh, fuck me real hard.
86
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,500
Jules, I thought
we rescheduled that.
87
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,771
No, we didn't reschedule that.
You need the endorphins.
88
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:40,675
Oh, God damn it, Jules.
No, I don't need endorphins.
89
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:41,842
I'm fine.
90
00:05:44,979 --> 00:05:46,881
You're a mess, Greg.
91
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,617
And you should stop...
just stop drinking that,
92
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,518
unless you want to puke
your nuts out at your session.
93
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,154
Please.
94
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,990
Pfft, how hard could this Hector
guy's workout possibly be?
95
00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:04,832
I want 20 push-ups,
soldier.
96
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,135
Oh, my God.
Soldier?
97
00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:10,671
Think I am...
think I'm...
98
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:13,506
Oh, my God, I think
I'm gonna have a heart attack.
99
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,675
Get off my squad.
100
00:06:14,709 --> 00:06:15,810
I'm sorry?
101
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,611
Get off my squadron
right now.
102
00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:18,879
Your squad?
103
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:21,182
I don't want
no pansy-ass
104
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,550
mama's boy
on my squadron.
105
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,219
Get the fuck up.
106
00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:43,536
I'm not a love addict.
107
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,172
No.
108
00:06:45,206 --> 00:06:46,941
It's totally normal
to get emotional
109
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,575
during a romantic comedy.
110
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:58,652
Mom, how am I supposed
to get a job and a roommate
111
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,688
and work on my writing?
112
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:04,258
Hmm? You think Dalton Trumbo
was posting craigslist ads
113
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,694
and driving around
in an Uber on the weekends?
114
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,595
No.
115
00:07:11,966 --> 00:07:15,169
Yes, writing is going great.
116
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,575
All right, say hello
to Mary Jane for me.
117
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:26,914
Love you, too.
118
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,215
Bye.
119
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,180
I'm sleeping
with our couples therapist.
120
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,831
Oh, my God.
121
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,100
Oh.
122
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,008
Oh, my God.
123
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:30,778
Fuck.
124
00:08:34,148 --> 00:08:36,150
Fuck you, Dr. Wilbon!
125
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,322
So, you had the same
recurring dream last night.
126
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,958
Yes.
Doctors are the worst.
127
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,660
How did that dream make you feel
when you woke up?
128
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,696
Oh, pfft, just wonderful.
129
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,664
I mean, I love the fact
that the love of my life
130
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,833
is fucking
our couples therapist.
131
00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:54,702
You're still in anger phase.
132
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,137
That will subside.
133
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:58,372
And, Greg, you know
this dream isn't real.
134
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:01,175
Well, yeah, but her fucking
Dr. Wilbon is very real.
135
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,211
True, that does suck
very badly.
136
00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:05,880
Is that supposed
to be helpful?
137
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,781
Moving right along.
138
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,717
How about you, Doc?
Have you ever fucked a client?
139
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:13,721
I would never sleep
with a beautiful, sensual,
140
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:18,092
buttery thighs, breasts
that could dent a man's chest,
141
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:22,763
vivacious valley,
dimple on her ass...
142
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,076
Doc?
143
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:37,811
Yes?
Oh, I'm sorry.
144
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,280
Very sorry.
You were saying?
145
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:41,815
Yeah, the banging
of a client.
146
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,250
Oh, right, right.
Enough about me.
147
00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:44,752
How are you doing, in general?
148
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:50,224
I don't know. I mean...
149
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,992
It's a roller coaster
of emotions.
150
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,794
You know, some good days,
some bad days.
151
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:54,995
Actually, mostly bad days.
152
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,497
Actually, mostly awful days,
153
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,199
like God-awful days.
154
00:09:58,232 --> 00:10:02,002
Like curl-up-in-a-ball
and fall-down-a-deep-dark-well,
155
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,904
shatter-your-spinal-cord-
on-impact-
156
00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:08,042
and-drown-in-six-inches-of-water
awful days.
157
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,376
Let me ask you something, Greg.
158
00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:11,278
Have you been working out
lately,
159
00:10:11,312 --> 00:10:13,914
done any sort
of physical activity?
160
00:10:13,948 --> 00:10:16,016
Oh, God, you don't even
want to know.
161
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,085
You know, Greg,
physical exercise
162
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:22,189
is a necessary catalyst
in the releasing of endorphins.
163
00:10:22,223 --> 00:10:24,758
What the fuck is it
with these goddamn endorphins?
164
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,260
Fuck!
165
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,528
Fuck you!
166
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:29,430
I hate endorphins!
167
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:32,967
I never wanted to fucking
have them in the first place!
168
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,035
Fuck them.
169
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,203
I'm fine.
170
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:44,778
Odd yet interesting
trigger point of anxiety.
171
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,981
How about male companionship?
172
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,315
Have you taken time
to hang out
173
00:10:48,349 --> 00:10:50,084
with any
of your broheims lately,
174
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,152
since your breakup
with Ashley?
175
00:10:52,186 --> 00:10:53,921
No, I haven't.
176
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,023
Well, then, I suggest
you make time for your homies.
177
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,326
Remember, Gregory,
don't be a wussy
178
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,527
because of the pussy.
179
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,537
This is
the good life, my friend.
180
00:11:10,571 --> 00:11:12,506
Who woulda thought
a couple of young kids
181
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,209
from Upstate New York
would come out west
182
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:19,013
and absolutely crush it
like we have?
183
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,814
Currently unemployed,
and you're a professional
184
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,183
male house sitter
mooching off celebrities.
185
00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:25,919
Living the dream.
186
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,122
Oh, God.
187
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,990
So, what's going on
with you, man?
188
00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:31,892
You found
your new roommate yet?
189
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,227
No, not yet.
190
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,329
I can't get out
of that two-year lease.
191
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,597
Damn, dude.
192
00:11:36,631 --> 00:11:37,965
How long you been
lookin' for?
193
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,403
It's been 57 days
since Ashley moved out.
194
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,505
Jesus H. What the hell's
taking so long?
195
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,340
I put an ad out
on craigslist,
196
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,475
by the next week, I had already
kicked out a new roommate.
197
00:11:48,509 --> 00:11:50,544
- Why'd you kick 'em out?
- I caught him face-fucking
198
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:53,580
that gothic gargoyle statue
in the foyer area.
199
00:11:53,615 --> 00:11:55,049
You know, the marble one?
200
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,550
Oh, yeah.
201
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,185
Very nice piece.
202
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,321
Thank you.
203
00:12:00,354 --> 00:12:01,989
I got this new guy,
204
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,991
he's been lickin'
the bathroom mirrors.
205
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,392
Good God.
206
00:12:05,426 --> 00:12:07,227
Where you finding these guys,
OKCupid?
207
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,232
Don't worry about it.
208
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:13,467
So, what's the problem?
209
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,935
How come you can't
find a roommate?
210
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,403
I don't know,
I just...
211
00:12:16,437 --> 00:12:17,571
I haven't found
the right match, I guess.
212
00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:18,972
Oh, Christ.
213
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,008
What are you doing?
214
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,110
I'm going to give you
some sorely needed
215
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,878
roommate-seeking advice.
216
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,880
That's simply not necessary,
thank you.
217
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,149
Oh, it most certainly is.
218
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,351
Now, for starters,
rule number one.
219
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:32,019
So, no matter what,
220
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,554
no matter
if Felicia "Vike-ander"
221
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,389
from "Ex-Machine-a"...
222
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,057
Alicia Vikander.
223
00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:39,393
Alicia Vikander
from Ex-Machina.
224
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,995
No matter
if Felicia "Vike-ander"
225
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,364
from "Ex-Machine-a"
shows up...
226
00:12:43,397 --> 00:12:45,966
No!
Alicia Vikander.
227
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,968
If Felicia "Vike-ander"...
228
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,903
Alicia Vikander
from Ex-Machina.
229
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,106
- If Felicia...
- It's not Felicia,
230
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,041
it's Alicia Vikander from...
231
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,276
If Alicia
from The Danish Girl...
232
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:57,478
Okay.
233
00:12:57,511 --> 00:12:59,179
...shows up at
your front doorstep,
234
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:01,683
no matter what,
looking for a place to live,
235
00:13:01,716 --> 00:13:04,051
no matter what,
under absolutely
236
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,621
no circumstances whatsoever
237
00:13:06,654 --> 00:13:08,255
can you have
a female roommate.
238
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,624
Why the hell not?
239
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:11,258
Because you just got
your heart trampled on
240
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,027
really fucking hard, Greg,
really fucking hard,
241
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,362
and because of that,
you probably got
242
00:13:15,396 --> 00:13:17,197
some latent anger
very deep inside
243
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,532
that cold, bitter
heart of yours,
244
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,200
toward the female species.
245
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,670
- That's just simply not true.
- Is that so?
246
00:13:22,704 --> 00:13:24,405
I thoroughly enjoy
the company of a fine female.
247
00:13:24,438 --> 00:13:25,707
I was raised by two of them,
for Christ's sake.
248
00:13:25,740 --> 00:13:27,408
- Is that so?
- Yes.
249
00:13:27,441 --> 00:13:30,210
Because I ran
into Mrs. Dalton this week
250
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,146
while she was landscaping
her front yard,
251
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,715
and she told me
that one of the neighbors
252
00:13:33,748 --> 00:13:35,482
called the cops on you
253
00:13:35,516 --> 00:13:37,985
because you were screaming
at some poor girl,
254
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:42,256
calling her, and I quote,
"a fucking blonde cracker."
255
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,324
End quote.
256
00:13:44,358 --> 00:13:46,427
Mrs. D told you
about that, huh?
257
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,262
Yeah, she did, Greg.
258
00:13:49,731 --> 00:13:51,064
Hey, what'd you think
of her new perennials?
259
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,399
They are quite lovely.
260
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:55,202
- Aren't they?
- Yes, very much so.
261
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,503
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
262
00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:58,305
I don't know
if it's the mulch.
263
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,407
I mean, she's the only one
crushing it in this drought.
264
00:14:00,441 --> 00:14:01,442
Yeah.
265
00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:03,010
Her bed is flush as shit.
266
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,111
Oh, it is.
267
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,215
You're fucking her,
aren't you?
268
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,349
I am indeed.
269
00:14:09,383 --> 00:14:10,350
Come on.
270
00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:11,552
You're fucking her.
271
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:13,621
- Come on.
- Are you fucking her?
272
00:14:13,655 --> 00:14:15,189
- Let's go.
- Oh, my God.
273
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:18,693
I am. I am.
274
00:14:18,726 --> 00:14:21,361
All right, I am going to be
your potential roommate.
275
00:14:21,395 --> 00:14:23,997
You are going to be you.
276
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,633
Unfortunately,
that's an element
277
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,201
that we can't really
change here, but that's okay.
278
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,502
We'll find a work-around.
279
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,370
I can't do this.
This is so stupid.
280
00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:31,572
Do you like
paying full rent
281
00:14:31,606 --> 00:14:33,474
- and all the bills, Greg?
- Oh, God.
282
00:14:37,511 --> 00:14:40,682
Yo, what's up, dawg?
283
00:14:40,715 --> 00:14:42,617
- Really, Greg?
- What?
284
00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:45,185
What are you, like,
a 35-year-old Justin Bieber?
285
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,287
- What? What'd I say?
- "Yo, what's up, dawg"?
286
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,089
Out of all the ways that you
could possibly greet somebody,
287
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,725
that's what you go with?
288
00:14:50,758 --> 00:14:52,359
What's wrong with that?
That's how I talk to dudes.
289
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,762
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
290
00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:01,134
Hello there,
fine gentleman.
291
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:04,639
All right, now you seem like
you just want to sodomize me.
292
00:15:04,672 --> 00:15:06,440
Well, fuck, dude.
What do you want me to say?
293
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,208
How about more
nice, normal guy?
294
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:11,278
Less creepy
Jared-from-Subway guy.
295
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,614
Yes, less creepy,
Subway, got it.
296
00:15:12,647 --> 00:15:14,314
All right.
297
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,688
Howdy, partner,
it's nice to meet ya.
298
00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:24,591
What?
299
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,594
Greg knew Paul was right.
300
00:15:27,629 --> 00:15:29,229
He headed off
to his sister's party
301
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,833
hoping to find
a male roommate.
302
00:15:31,866 --> 00:15:34,234
But she
and her boyfriend, Dan,
303
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,604
who has been acting
a little fucking weird
304
00:15:36,638 --> 00:15:39,707
ever since suffering a serious
head injury while skiing,
305
00:15:39,741 --> 00:15:42,242
had other plans.
306
00:15:50,652 --> 00:15:53,453
No, no, the Bosu ball
is great for the bedroom.
307
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:55,455
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
308
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,227
Oh, hey.
Hector.
309
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,732
It's a pleasure to...
what a surprise.
310
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,835
Oh, you shaved
your head, man.
311
00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:10,672
That is... soldier style, huh?
Nice.
312
00:16:14,575 --> 00:16:16,343
Well, it's good
to see you, man.
313
00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:20,113
Those pecs are firm.
314
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,685
You not on my squad.
315
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,898
Well, that wasn't awkward.
316
00:16:36,931 --> 00:16:38,498
Well, I threw up
all over his shoes.
317
00:16:38,532 --> 00:16:40,167
- I heard.
- Like, all over 'em.
318
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,604
- Laces and everything.
- I heard that, too.
319
00:16:42,637 --> 00:16:44,137
Oh, I brought you something.
320
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,841
Oh, wow, Greg.
You shouldn't have.
321
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:48,810
I don't even know why
I bought that Opus One
322
00:16:48,843 --> 00:16:50,243
- when we have this.
- Yeah.
323
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,815
Oh, yeah. Gregorino.
324
00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:55,750
Hey, man, thank you
so much for coming.
325
00:16:55,783 --> 00:16:57,752
- This is cool.
- Yeah.
326
00:16:57,785 --> 00:17:00,420
Dan, he's... he's depressed.
He's not a deaf foster child.
327
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,624
- Okay.
- Jules, I'm not depressed.
328
00:17:02,657 --> 00:17:04,191
Oh, you know what I mean.
329
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,592
Look at this.
330
00:17:05,627 --> 00:17:08,362
Greg bought us
this box of, I think...
331
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,598
This is outstanding.
We love it.
332
00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:12,834
It's good.
Have you tried it?
333
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:15,268
Mm, God, yeah.
We have it all the time.
334
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,671
- It's our favorite.
- Love it.
335
00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:18,906
Wait, I thought you said
you haven't had it.
336
00:17:18,940 --> 00:17:21,709
Anyways, this is hot.
337
00:17:21,743 --> 00:17:23,543
So, where is everybody.
Am I early?
338
00:17:23,577 --> 00:17:27,715
Oh, yeah, um, so,
we sent out the invitations,
339
00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:29,282
but they had
the wrong date on it.
340
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:32,586
For everybody,
except for you.
341
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:34,554
And me!
342
00:17:34,588 --> 00:17:36,490
And Wenona!
343
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,492
Hey, you guys
haven't met, have you?
344
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,360
Uh, no, Jules.
345
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:41,829
Matter of fact,
I don't think we have.
346
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:44,966
- Fun.
- Fun.
347
00:17:44,999 --> 00:17:46,601
Come on over, Wenona.
348
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:49,671
Just make yourself at home.
349
00:17:49,704 --> 00:17:52,840
Okay.
350
00:17:52,874 --> 00:17:53,975
Okay!
351
00:17:54,008 --> 00:17:56,376
Yeah, we should
open up this box.
352
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,311
I like that shirt.
I love gray.
353
00:17:58,345 --> 00:17:59,781
- Uh, thanks
- Yeah.
354
00:17:59,814 --> 00:18:01,883
Here we go.
This is cool.
355
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:07,487
So, Greg, what do you
do for a living?
356
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,523
Well, sis,
it's an interesting question.
357
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,591
Thanks for asking.
358
00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:14,494
Especially since
I'm unemployed.
359
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,798
Oh, shit.
I forgot about that.
360
00:18:16,831 --> 00:18:19,332
Well, what did you
used to do?
361
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:22,469
Um, I was a production
assistant,
362
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,238
but that was
just to pay the bills.
363
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:27,541
I really want to, um...
I want to write.
364
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,712
Or I am a writer.
Or I will be.
365
00:18:30,745 --> 00:18:32,379
Hopefully, one day.
366
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,448
That's really rad, dude.
367
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,017
Where were you
a production assistant?
368
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:39,921
It was a, uh,
The Trailer House.
369
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:43,725
Oh, my God.
That is so sweet.
370
00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:45,592
Trailer people
need love
371
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,829
just as much as people
372
00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:50,597
with real houses.
373
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:55,469
It was a movie trailer house.
374
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,805
Oh!
375
00:18:57,839 --> 00:19:01,609
Oh, of course.
That makes so much more sense.
376
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:03,343
Right.
377
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,412
Yeah, because you wouldn't
want to be surrounded
378
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,948
by trailer people all the time
379
00:19:06,981 --> 00:19:11,418
'cause they smell weird.
Ish.
380
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,822
Well, that's really great
because
381
00:19:14,856 --> 00:19:19,426
I loooovvve
movie trailers!
382
00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:23,597
Cool.
383
00:19:23,631 --> 00:19:25,432
Well, what about you,
Wenona?
384
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,769
Let's hear what's going on
with you
385
00:19:27,802 --> 00:19:30,938
since you left
our accounting firm last year.
386
00:19:30,972 --> 00:19:32,439
Well, I'm actually kind of
in limbo,
387
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,610
but if this lawsuit works out,
388
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:39,412
I'm thinking of doing
some serious traveling.
389
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,783
You have a lawsuit?
390
00:19:41,816 --> 00:19:44,518
Yup, a, uh...
a sexual harassment lawsuit.
391
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:47,320
- Oh, my God. What happened?
- Oh, Jesus.
392
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,322
Well, Dan and I fucked.
393
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:53,828
No. No, that's not true.
That's not true.
394
00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:57,031
I wouldn't touch
her dirty ass with your dick.
395
00:19:57,064 --> 00:19:59,499
Dan from work.
396
00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,836
- Oh.
- Whoa.
397
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:05,006
Yeah.
Yeah, Dan from work, maybe.
398
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:08,341
That's cleared up.
You like that?
399
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,478
Let me get this straight.
You fucked Dan?
400
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,747
Dan, Dan?
As in our boss, Dan?
401
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:16,583
Yep, during my exit interview.
402
00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:18,753
- Oh, my God.
- It was pretty intense.
403
00:20:18,786 --> 00:20:21,756
That guy is a freak.
404
00:20:21,789 --> 00:20:24,558
I thought maybe I would
get to keep my job
405
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:28,461
if I let him stick it in-in,
but apparently not.
406
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,965
But double-but,
my attorney thinks
407
00:20:30,998 --> 00:20:33,734
I have a pretty darn good shot
with this lawsuit,
408
00:20:33,768 --> 00:20:36,037
so, fingers crossed.
409
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:41,976
I mean, that would be
the dream.
410
00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:43,443
Yeah.
411
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:44,946
- Yay.
- Kudos.
412
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:51,052
This can't be real.
413
00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:53,020
Oh, hey, you guys
should go out,
414
00:20:53,054 --> 00:20:54,387
the two of you.
415
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,756
Dan!
416
00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:57,524
I promise not to sue.
417
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,028
Well, the chicken's
pretty good, huh?
418
00:21:03,097 --> 00:21:05,532
Yeah.
419
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:08,135
I've actually never seen her
quite like that before.
420
00:21:08,169 --> 00:21:10,838
And, plus, all my other friends
are either married or in rehab
421
00:21:10,872 --> 00:21:14,574
or there's actually a few
on Ashley Madison, so...
422
00:21:14,609 --> 00:21:16,509
Well, look, I'm not exactly
looking to date
423
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:19,847
any time soon, despite
Dan's brilliant suggestion.
424
00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:21,616
Well, you know he hasn't
been himself
425
00:21:21,649 --> 00:21:22,984
since the skiing accident.
426
00:21:23,017 --> 00:21:25,119
This is a stew.
427
00:21:25,152 --> 00:21:26,954
That is a chicken.
428
00:21:26,988 --> 00:21:29,190
- Oh, fuck my butt.
- What?
429
00:21:29,223 --> 00:21:30,825
I think I just got an email
about the apartment.
430
00:21:30,858 --> 00:21:32,559
- What's it say?
- "Hey, duder!
431
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:33,961
Is this room still avail?
432
00:21:33,995 --> 00:21:35,162
I am moving to
the City of Angels tomorrow
433
00:21:35,196 --> 00:21:37,131
and desperately
need a place to reside.
434
00:21:37,164 --> 00:21:39,667
If it is, is it cool
if I PayPal you the money now
435
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:40,902
for the first month's rent
436
00:21:40,935 --> 00:21:42,535
and swing by
and move in tomorrow?"
437
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:44,205
The fuck?
438
00:21:44,238 --> 00:21:47,041
"I promise not to be
a serial killer"
439
00:21:47,074 --> 00:21:50,011
dot-dot-dot..."anymore.
440
00:21:50,044 --> 00:21:51,544
JK. Kinda.
441
00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:52,813
But for realz.
Let me know!
442
00:21:52,847 --> 00:21:54,782
Thanks, man."
Smiley face. Peyton.
443
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,952
Hmm. Sounds a little desperate,
perhaps too good to be true,
444
00:21:57,985 --> 00:21:59,921
but you know what? Fuck it.
I say go for it.
445
00:21:59,954 --> 00:22:01,022
I don't know, you think?
446
00:22:01,055 --> 00:22:02,589
Yeah, totally.
447
00:22:02,623 --> 00:22:03,891
Just don't puke on the guy
this time.
448
00:22:03,925 --> 00:22:05,126
Yeah, very funny.
449
00:22:05,159 --> 00:22:06,694
All right, I gotta go.
Love you, bye.
450
00:22:06,727 --> 00:22:08,696
Good-bye.
451
00:22:15,102 --> 00:22:17,104
A hundred and 183 dollars?
What the fuck?
452
00:22:17,138 --> 00:22:19,974
God damn it.
No!
453
00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:22,743
I'm fucked!
I'm so fucked.
454
00:22:22,777 --> 00:22:24,178
No!
455
00:22:29,283 --> 00:22:31,686
I just got a roommate, though.
456
00:22:31,719 --> 00:22:34,855
Yes, I did.
457
00:22:34,889 --> 00:22:37,091
I just got a fuckin' roommate.
458
00:22:37,124 --> 00:22:39,093
Fuck yeah.
459
00:22:51,839 --> 00:22:53,040
- Hi.
- Hi.
460
00:22:53,074 --> 00:22:54,976
- Are you Greg?
- Yeah.
461
00:22:55,009 --> 00:22:56,978
Hi, I'm Peyton.
462
00:22:58,145 --> 00:22:59,613
Hi.
463
00:22:59,647 --> 00:23:00,948
Oh, my God.
You're Peyton.
464
00:23:00,982 --> 00:23:03,250
Yeah, the...
the serial killer.
465
00:23:03,284 --> 00:23:04,517
I'm not a serial killer.
466
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,754
The former serial killer.
467
00:23:06,787 --> 00:23:08,289
- Right.
- Remember? Yeah.
468
00:23:08,322 --> 00:23:09,690
Right, yeah, no.
Right, of course.
469
00:23:09,724 --> 00:23:10,691
- Right.
- No, that's right.
470
00:23:10,725 --> 00:23:12,626
I mean, who is?
471
00:23:12,660 --> 00:23:14,061
You know?
Um, no, I just...
472
00:23:14,095 --> 00:23:16,731
I thought that Peyton
was a boy's name.
473
00:23:16,764 --> 00:23:18,632
- No offense.
- Oh, no, none taken.
474
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,567
Yeah, are you a Broncos fan?
475
00:23:20,601 --> 00:23:22,535
No, I fuckin'
hate them, actually.
476
00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:24,171
Oh.
477
00:23:24,205 --> 00:23:27,141
Well, I was gonna say
the Broncos, Peyton Manning.
478
00:23:27,174 --> 00:23:28,876
Uh, random.
479
00:23:28,909 --> 00:23:30,945
No, because people think
Peyton Manning
480
00:23:30,978 --> 00:23:33,014
and then they think Peyton,
that I'm a guy.
481
00:23:33,047 --> 00:23:34,547
Oh, yes, right.
482
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,884
But, nah, these are...
these are breasts.
483
00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:38,085
Yeah.
484
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,622
And I have a functioning
vagina as well.
485
00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:43,758
Ah!
486
00:23:43,791 --> 00:23:46,127
Gynecologist says top notch.
487
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,628
Looks good.
488
00:23:47,661 --> 00:23:51,699
Is that okay,
that I'm a... a woman?
489
00:23:51,732 --> 00:23:53,300
No matter what,
490
00:23:53,334 --> 00:23:57,004
under absolutely no
circumstances whatsoever
491
00:23:57,038 --> 00:23:59,073
can you have
a female roommate!
492
00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:00,641
No, yeah, it's great.
Come on in.
493
00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:02,777
- Really? Oh.
- Yes. I'm very happy.
494
00:24:02,810 --> 00:24:04,311
- Okay, thanks.
- Yeah.
495
00:24:04,345 --> 00:24:05,312
You have great hair.
496
00:24:07,615 --> 00:24:08,949
- Sorry.
- Oh.
497
00:24:08,983 --> 00:24:10,718
- It's sticky.
- Oh.
498
00:24:10,751 --> 00:24:12,920
- Oh, wow.
- So, yeah, this is your room.
499
00:24:12,953 --> 00:24:14,255
This is...
this is perfect.
500
00:24:14,288 --> 00:24:16,791
Yeah.
This is very purple.
501
00:24:16,824 --> 00:24:18,059
Yep.
502
00:24:18,092 --> 00:24:19,693
I love it, though.
503
00:24:19,727 --> 00:24:21,762
I call it
the purple monster.
504
00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:23,130
Well, I like it.
505
00:24:23,164 --> 00:24:24,632
- It's my favorite color.
- Oh.
506
00:24:24,665 --> 00:24:26,233
A mixture of red and blue.
507
00:24:26,267 --> 00:24:27,835
Oh.
Are you gay?
508
00:24:27,868 --> 00:24:31,172
- No. Are you?
- Oh. No.
509
00:24:31,205 --> 00:24:32,840
Great. Yeah.
510
00:24:32,873 --> 00:24:35,810
Cool. It's ex...
it's really exactly what I need.
511
00:24:35,843 --> 00:24:36,777
- So...
- Okay.
512
00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:42,183
Big closet.
513
00:24:44,118 --> 00:24:45,286
Yep, you could fit
a lot in there.
514
00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:47,221
Yes, yes.
515
00:24:47,254 --> 00:24:50,257
So, uh, is there anything else
that you... that you might need?
516
00:24:50,291 --> 00:24:54,395
Uh, other than an 8 ball
and a good fisting,
517
00:24:54,428 --> 00:24:55,696
I think I'm good.
518
00:24:55,729 --> 00:24:57,665
I'm sorry, come again?
519
00:24:57,698 --> 00:24:59,233
I'm just fucking
with you, Greg.
520
00:24:59,266 --> 00:25:01,335
- Oh, right.
- I'm sorry.
521
00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:03,737
- No, no.
- Demented sense of humor.
522
00:25:03,771 --> 00:25:05,739
- Not at all.
- Freaks people out.
523
00:25:05,773 --> 00:25:06,941
No, it didn't really
freak me out.
524
00:25:06,974 --> 00:25:08,375
I was actually
pretty centered with it.
525
00:25:08,409 --> 00:25:09,844
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
526
00:25:09,877 --> 00:25:11,846
I've never been fisted.
527
00:25:11,879 --> 00:25:12,947
I've never done cocaine.
528
00:25:14,782 --> 00:25:17,885
Cool.
529
00:25:17,918 --> 00:25:19,086
This is nice.
530
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,122
Right, so, um,
do you have any...
531
00:25:21,155 --> 00:25:22,957
uh, you have a box...
532
00:25:22,990 --> 00:25:25,860
do you have anything
in your car, or boxes or...?
533
00:25:25,893 --> 00:25:27,661
Yeah, but I'll just...
I'll deal with it later.
534
00:25:27,695 --> 00:25:29,063
- Yeah, okay. All right.
- Yeah.
535
00:25:29,096 --> 00:25:32,199
Well, um, let me know
if you need any help,
536
00:25:32,233 --> 00:25:34,668
uh, loading it...
loading it in.
537
00:25:34,702 --> 00:25:36,370
- Aw, thanks. Thank you.
- Yeah, no problem.
538
00:25:36,403 --> 00:25:38,706
Uh, the door... these o...
these doors open.
539
00:25:38,739 --> 00:25:40,841
And, uh, mahalo.
540
00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:42,276
Yeah.
541
00:25:42,309 --> 00:25:45,045
Oh, this... actually this, um...
this is a painting
542
00:25:45,079 --> 00:25:47,314
that was done
by my grandfather.
543
00:25:47,348 --> 00:25:49,416
- He served in World War II.
- Oh.
544
00:25:49,450 --> 00:25:54,121
And he was also a really huge
aficionado of Hungarian art.
545
00:25:54,155 --> 00:25:57,158
- And, um...
- Hungarian art?
546
00:25:57,191 --> 00:25:58,926
Yeah, and this
is actually Budapest.
547
00:25:58,959 --> 00:26:01,395
And, um, he fell in love
with... with Hungary.
548
00:26:01,428 --> 00:26:05,332
- But this is Florence.
- This is Budapest, actually.
549
00:26:05,366 --> 00:26:07,835
- But it says Florence.
- He would tell the stories...
550
00:26:07,868 --> 00:26:09,436
No, this is the name
of the painting.
551
00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:12,806
It's Firenze.
It's actually "fire."
552
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,275
It means "fire" in Hungarian.
553
00:26:14,308 --> 00:26:17,344
"Firenze" means "Florence"
in Italian.
554
00:26:17,378 --> 00:26:21,482
And I lived over here
in Florence.
555
00:26:21,515 --> 00:26:25,786
This is the Duomo.
This is the Arno.
556
00:26:25,819 --> 00:26:28,422
It's definitely Budapest.
557
00:26:28,455 --> 00:26:30,824
And this is actually
the Budapest river.
558
00:26:30,858 --> 00:26:32,826
Okay.
559
00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:36,030
Yeah.
560
00:26:36,063 --> 00:26:38,999
Fist bump. What?
561
00:26:39,033 --> 00:26:40,234
Now you've been fisted.
562
00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:46,273
Holy cow. Am I right?
563
00:26:46,307 --> 00:26:48,209
Greg not only
found a roommate,
564
00:26:48,242 --> 00:26:50,244
but he might have just
manifested
565
00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:52,813
the real girl of his dreams.
566
00:26:52,846 --> 00:26:56,917
Of all the girls
he has fallen way too hard for,
567
00:26:56,951 --> 00:26:59,286
he has never experienced
love at first sight
568
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,188
quite like this.
569
00:27:01,222 --> 00:27:03,757
He was sure Paul
would be happy for him.
570
00:27:07,161 --> 00:27:08,896
So, uh, I got a new roommate.
571
00:27:08,929 --> 00:27:11,065
Mm.
572
00:27:11,098 --> 00:27:12,466
- You did?
- Yeah.
573
00:27:12,499 --> 00:27:14,802
I have to say,
I think I'm in love.
574
00:27:16,503 --> 00:27:17,938
Listen, Greg.
575
00:27:17,972 --> 00:27:19,240
Oh, fuck.
576
00:27:19,273 --> 00:27:21,875
I get that you're angry
at women, okay?
577
00:27:21,909 --> 00:27:23,477
Understandably so.
578
00:27:23,510 --> 00:27:27,214
I mean, Ash completely
steamrolled over your nuts.
579
00:27:27,248 --> 00:27:30,084
Like totally obliviated
any trace of manhood
580
00:27:30,117 --> 00:27:31,552
- that you once had.
- Paul, I got it.
581
00:27:31,585 --> 00:27:34,321
She pretty much ripped your dick
in half and stuck it
582
00:27:34,355 --> 00:27:37,424
- in between your legs.
- Paul! I got it.
583
00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:39,326
- But switching teams, Greg?
- No!
584
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:41,095
Come on, man.
That's a little dramatic.
585
00:27:41,128 --> 00:27:43,163
I mean, I... I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with it.
586
00:27:43,197 --> 00:27:46,166
You know, I guess.
Change and everything. Huh.
587
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,501
It's a girl.
588
00:27:47,534 --> 00:27:50,971
A disarmingly cute
and attractive girl.
589
00:27:51,005 --> 00:27:52,039
Fuck!
590
00:27:52,072 --> 00:27:54,174
Fucking son of a bitch!
591
00:27:54,208 --> 00:27:56,910
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck, Greg!
592
00:27:56,944 --> 00:28:01,582
Come on, man.
Come the fuck on!
593
00:28:01,616 --> 00:28:04,184
- Jesus.
- Fuck!
594
00:28:04,218 --> 00:28:06,387
I'm sorry.
595
00:28:06,420 --> 00:28:07,821
I'm sorry, Greg.
596
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:08,989
That was a little bit
uncalled for.
597
00:28:09,023 --> 00:28:10,324
I understand that.
598
00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:11,525
It's just that
you just fuckin'...
599
00:28:11,558 --> 00:28:13,494
you rile me up, man.
You just...
600
00:28:13,527 --> 00:28:15,362
You rile me up
like no other.
601
00:28:15,396 --> 00:28:17,398
God.
602
00:28:17,431 --> 00:28:18,966
I can see that.
603
00:28:18,999 --> 00:28:20,501
What did I tell you
about a girl roommate?
604
00:28:20,534 --> 00:28:22,403
Well, I didn't know
it was a girl.
605
00:28:22,436 --> 00:28:24,505
What the fuck
does that even mean?
606
00:28:24,538 --> 00:28:26,307
Her name was Peyton.
607
00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:28,509
Oh.
Like Peyton Manning?
608
00:28:28,542 --> 00:28:31,211
Yes! Therefore I thought
it was a dude.
609
00:28:31,245 --> 00:28:33,347
Yeah.
610
00:28:33,380 --> 00:28:34,481
Yeah.
611
00:28:34,515 --> 00:28:36,216
Yeah,
I can understand that.
612
00:28:36,250 --> 00:28:37,951
I can see that. I woulda thought
the same thing, actually,
613
00:28:37,985 --> 00:28:39,520
Yeah.
614
00:28:39,553 --> 00:28:41,355
Come on, man.
You're smarter than this.
615
00:28:41,388 --> 00:28:42,489
Look at what happened
with Ash.
616
00:28:42,523 --> 00:28:44,191
Oh, God.
Enough with Ashley, okay?
617
00:28:44,224 --> 00:28:46,960
Her and Dr. Wilbon and I,
618
00:28:46,994 --> 00:28:51,332
we had a very mature,
adult conversation.
619
00:28:51,365 --> 00:28:52,533
We talked everything out.
620
00:28:52,566 --> 00:28:54,968
We achieved
some very nice closure.
621
00:28:56,337 --> 00:28:59,473
Wh... what are
you doing, Greg?
622
00:28:59,506 --> 00:29:01,942
I'm getting closure!
623
00:29:06,447 --> 00:29:08,349
How you like them apples,
motherfucker?
624
00:29:08,382 --> 00:29:12,353
A-are you serious?
Come on.
625
00:29:12,386 --> 00:29:14,054
That's actually pretty good.
626
00:29:14,088 --> 00:29:15,255
What brand is it?
627
00:29:15,289 --> 00:29:16,624
All right, are we
done here now?
628
00:29:16,658 --> 00:29:19,093
No!
629
00:29:19,126 --> 00:29:22,262
Anything breakable here?
630
00:29:22,296 --> 00:29:23,997
Ah!
631
00:29:24,031 --> 00:29:26,500
Greg, no, Greg.
Come on, don't.
632
00:29:26,533 --> 00:29:28,302
No! Don't!
Greg!
633
00:29:35,342 --> 00:29:39,279
Those are the remains
of a human being.
634
00:29:39,313 --> 00:29:42,082
Aren't they?
635
00:29:42,116 --> 00:29:44,585
Two, actually.
636
00:29:44,619 --> 00:29:46,253
My mother and my father.
637
00:29:49,089 --> 00:29:50,591
Really?
638
00:29:50,625 --> 00:29:52,292
Yeah.
639
00:29:52,326 --> 00:29:53,628
Then I am very impressed,
Greg.
640
00:29:53,661 --> 00:29:56,296
Thank you.
641
00:29:56,330 --> 00:29:58,365
And Peyton is great.
642
00:29:58,399 --> 00:30:00,934
She's really fucking great.
643
00:30:00,968 --> 00:30:02,704
It was like love at first sight,
I'm telling you.
644
00:30:02,737 --> 00:30:04,706
Aw, come on
with that bullshit.
645
00:30:04,739 --> 00:30:07,174
That never happens.
It's just a rebound, Greg.
646
00:30:07,207 --> 00:30:09,042
It's probably the first girl
that you've seen
647
00:30:09,076 --> 00:30:10,645
in, like, over a month.
648
00:30:10,678 --> 00:30:12,413
Of course you're gonna think
you're in love with her.
649
00:30:12,446 --> 00:30:14,314
Are you stupid or something?
650
00:30:14,348 --> 00:30:16,450
Listen, this is what you do.
651
00:30:16,483 --> 00:30:18,152
You take her out to Indian food.
652
00:30:18,185 --> 00:30:21,355
You get her the curry,
you get her the roti, the works.
653
00:30:21,388 --> 00:30:23,457
You put a little laxative
in her drink
654
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,392
when she goes to the bathroom.
655
00:30:25,426 --> 00:30:29,530
Then you go to one of those
new escape room things.
656
00:30:29,563 --> 00:30:32,266
Boom, that'll set you
fucking straight
657
00:30:32,299 --> 00:30:33,735
with this
"in love" bullshit.
658
00:30:35,369 --> 00:30:37,605
I don't know.
659
00:30:37,639 --> 00:30:38,740
Maybe you're right.
660
00:30:38,773 --> 00:30:40,040
'Course I'm right.
661
00:30:40,073 --> 00:30:41,308
Now don't just sit there.
662
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:44,612
Toss me one of those brewskis,
will ya?
663
00:30:44,646 --> 00:30:46,980
Come into my domicile,
two twelve packs of beers,
664
00:30:47,014 --> 00:30:48,382
you don't even
offer me one.
665
00:30:48,415 --> 00:30:50,117
What are you,
a fucking savage or something?
666
00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:52,286
You shook it up.
Come on, put it back, Greg.
667
00:30:54,455 --> 00:30:55,690
Get me a good one.
668
00:31:04,632 --> 00:31:06,567
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, hey.
669
00:31:06,601 --> 00:31:09,336
Oh, no worries.
Just getting my yoga on.
670
00:31:09,369 --> 00:31:11,305
It's not like I'm doing
naked yoga or anything.
671
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:14,374
Would you?
672
00:31:14,408 --> 00:31:15,476
Oh, have you ever
tried this shit?
673
00:31:15,509 --> 00:31:16,577
It's a total trip.
674
00:31:16,611 --> 00:31:18,278
Uh, you know, no.
675
00:31:18,312 --> 00:31:22,684
I... I'm not...
I'm not a big yoga... yoga-er.
676
00:31:22,717 --> 00:31:24,117
You should try it sometime.
677
00:31:24,151 --> 00:31:26,587
Releases
a lot of endorphins.
678
00:31:26,621 --> 00:31:29,624
I'll probably pass
because back in high school
679
00:31:29,657 --> 00:31:31,291
there was this guy named
Jimmy Knox,
680
00:31:31,325 --> 00:31:33,728
and after gym class
he would bend me over,
681
00:31:33,761 --> 00:31:37,364
but backwards
and then forwards,
682
00:31:37,397 --> 00:31:39,199
and he broke my rib.
683
00:31:39,233 --> 00:31:41,703
And he said, "I bet now
that you have a broken rib,
684
00:31:41,736 --> 00:31:43,370
you can suck your own dick."
685
00:31:43,403 --> 00:31:45,572
Oh, my God.
What a jerk.
686
00:31:45,607 --> 00:31:46,608
I know.
687
00:31:46,641 --> 00:31:48,075
C-could you do it?
688
00:31:48,108 --> 00:31:49,711
Actually, yeah.
689
00:31:49,744 --> 00:31:51,044
I mean,
not that I ever did.
690
00:31:51,078 --> 00:31:52,579
No, no.
Of course not.
691
00:31:55,215 --> 00:31:57,819
Fuck me.
692
00:31:57,852 --> 00:32:00,320
What... what'd you say?
693
00:32:00,354 --> 00:32:05,392
Um, I said,
"My God, this is a good day."
694
00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:08,061
Hmm, I don't think
I'm gonna do anymore yoga.
695
00:32:08,095 --> 00:32:09,263
Do you want a smoothie?
696
00:32:09,296 --> 00:32:12,165
Yes, I would love one.
697
00:32:12,199 --> 00:32:14,669
Wow, this looks
super healthy.
698
00:32:14,702 --> 00:32:16,203
Yeah, I know, right?
699
00:32:16,236 --> 00:32:17,204
I don't know
if my Midwest body's
700
00:32:17,237 --> 00:32:18,606
gonna be able to handle it.
701
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,308
Might have a shit-right-
through-my-yoga-pants
702
00:32:21,341 --> 00:32:22,777
situation on my hands.
703
00:32:22,810 --> 00:32:24,746
Yeah, I know exactly
what you are talking about.
704
00:32:24,779 --> 00:32:26,648
I have a shit-through-my-pants
situation
705
00:32:26,681 --> 00:32:28,081
with about everything I eat.
706
00:32:28,115 --> 00:32:29,349
Oh.
707
00:32:29,383 --> 00:32:30,685
Yeah.
708
00:32:30,718 --> 00:32:33,287
I have a leaky stomach.
709
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,354
I'm sorry to hear that.
710
00:32:36,523 --> 00:32:38,091
Yeah.
711
00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:39,326
So, where'd you say
you were from again?
712
00:32:39,359 --> 00:32:41,562
- Chi-town?
- Ah, makes sense.
713
00:32:41,595 --> 00:32:43,397
Why do you say that?
714
00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:46,734
You're just so open
and generous.
715
00:32:46,768 --> 00:32:49,570
That's really sweet.
716
00:32:49,604 --> 00:32:53,708
Thanks. Um, yeah, my friends
back home are pretty awesome.
717
00:32:53,741 --> 00:32:55,409
So, what brought you, uh...
718
00:32:55,442 --> 00:32:56,611
what brought you
all the way out here?
719
00:32:56,644 --> 00:32:58,312
The porn industry.
720
00:33:00,447 --> 00:33:01,883
- Really?
- Yeah.
721
00:33:01,916 --> 00:33:03,818
- I want to get into porn.
- Oh.
722
00:33:03,851 --> 00:33:05,552
I tried the whole
nine-to-five thing
723
00:33:05,586 --> 00:33:07,220
and it's just...
it's not for me.
724
00:33:07,254 --> 00:33:08,756
- Right.
- Plus, there's loads
725
00:33:08,790 --> 00:33:10,692
- of money in it.
- Right.
726
00:33:10,725 --> 00:33:12,760
Like, loads.
727
00:33:12,794 --> 00:33:13,895
Right.
728
00:33:13,928 --> 00:33:15,395
Do you like porn, Greg?
729
00:33:17,665 --> 00:33:18,833
You know...
730
00:33:21,268 --> 00:33:22,604
...that's
an interesting question.
731
00:33:22,637 --> 00:33:25,807
Um, you know, there's...
I'm quite...
732
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,408
there's a... I have...
733
00:33:28,442 --> 00:33:29,844
You know, my mom always
used to say
734
00:33:29,877 --> 00:33:33,681
that when I choose
to express myself,
735
00:33:33,715 --> 00:33:35,717
uh, in an intimate way,
736
00:33:35,750 --> 00:33:40,387
uh, objectifying women
is not something that...
737
00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:43,223
Uh, my...
I-I've heard of it.
738
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:50,430
- You've heard of it?
- Yeah.
739
00:33:50,464 --> 00:33:52,265
Oh, my God, dude,
I'm fucking with you.
740
00:33:52,299 --> 00:33:54,434
- Really
- Yes.
741
00:33:54,468 --> 00:33:56,503
Oh, Jesus, well,
I didn't know what to say.
742
00:33:56,536 --> 00:33:58,673
- Oh, my God.
- So, wait, are you in...
743
00:33:58,706 --> 00:34:02,309
No, I'm going to UCLA grad
school for journalism next week.
744
00:34:02,342 --> 00:34:03,443
Completely different answer
from the first.
745
00:34:03,477 --> 00:34:05,345
- Totally different.
- Yeah.
746
00:34:05,379 --> 00:34:07,682
Yeah, I've always been
interested in telling stories
747
00:34:07,715 --> 00:34:10,752
grounded in truth,
so journalism,
748
00:34:10,785 --> 00:34:12,519
and I figure
if that doesn't work out,
749
00:34:12,552 --> 00:34:13,855
then I can just transition
750
00:34:13,888 --> 00:34:16,691
into documentary filmmaking,
you know.
751
00:34:16,724 --> 00:34:19,559
- Yeah, anything.
- Or porn. You know?
752
00:34:19,593 --> 00:34:22,429
Always got porn
as a fall back.
753
00:34:22,462 --> 00:34:23,698
That's what my mother said.
754
00:34:26,801 --> 00:34:30,270
She did.
Okay, so, let's give it a whirl.
755
00:34:41,381 --> 00:34:43,250
I want to make sure
it's really smooth.
756
00:34:43,283 --> 00:34:45,218
They don't call it
a chunky.
757
00:34:47,254 --> 00:34:49,556
I'm going
for a smooth move smoothie.
758
00:34:51,425 --> 00:34:52,492
That's so cute.
759
00:34:53,928 --> 00:34:55,395
All right,
I think we're done.
760
00:34:57,497 --> 00:34:59,934
All right.
Here goes nothin'.
761
00:35:03,570 --> 00:35:06,841
Okay, to juice cleanses,
pornos,
762
00:35:06,874 --> 00:35:08,676
and our rapidly approaching
763
00:35:08,710 --> 00:35:11,244
and inevitably powerful
bowel movements.
764
00:35:11,278 --> 00:35:12,714
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
765
00:35:17,451 --> 00:35:18,786
Hmm, it's not bad.
766
00:35:18,820 --> 00:35:21,923
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's good.
767
00:35:21,956 --> 00:35:25,292
Okay, well, I have
an alarmingly significant
768
00:35:25,325 --> 00:35:26,928
amount of swamp ass
happening in my pants right now,
769
00:35:26,961 --> 00:35:28,863
so I'm gonna get
out of my sweaty clothes
770
00:35:28,896 --> 00:35:30,397
and into the shower.
771
00:35:30,430 --> 00:35:31,866
Yeah, okay, sounds good.
772
00:35:41,976 --> 00:35:43,276
Greg, what in heavens
are you doing here?
773
00:35:43,310 --> 00:35:44,779
Emergency sesh, Doc.
774
00:35:44,812 --> 00:35:46,614
- Now, just wait a minute.
- Emergency sesh, STAT.
775
00:35:48,582 --> 00:35:50,718
Wenona?
776
00:35:50,752 --> 00:35:52,920
Oh, um, hey, Greg.
777
00:35:52,954 --> 00:35:55,422
Fancy seeing you here.
778
00:35:55,455 --> 00:35:57,290
You never called me back.
779
00:35:57,324 --> 00:35:58,960
What is wrong with you?
780
00:35:58,993 --> 00:36:01,028
Are you afraid
of a little adventure?
781
00:36:02,663 --> 00:36:05,867
Look, I got your nose.
Let's be friends.
782
00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:08,936
Great sesh, Dr. Naik.
Same time next week?
783
00:36:08,970 --> 00:36:11,571
Yes, yes.
That works splendidly.
784
00:36:11,606 --> 00:36:14,776
Ta-ta, boys.
Behave.
785
00:36:14,809 --> 00:36:15,943
Oh.
786
00:36:18,679 --> 00:36:19,947
Are you fucking her?
787
00:36:19,981 --> 00:36:22,349
Of course not.
She's just a client.
788
00:36:22,382 --> 00:36:23,583
You know what?
You doctors just can't
789
00:36:23,618 --> 00:36:26,087
keep it in your pants,
can you?
790
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,688
Moving right along.
791
00:36:27,722 --> 00:36:29,824
Enough about me.
Let's focus on you.
792
00:36:31,358 --> 00:36:34,294
So, what's this
emergency you have?
793
00:36:35,830 --> 00:36:37,397
I'm in love.
794
00:36:37,430 --> 00:36:38,900
It's my roommate.
795
00:36:38,933 --> 00:36:40,768
She lives in my apartment
and I'm in love with her
796
00:36:40,802 --> 00:36:43,336
and I've barely even seen her
or spoken to her.
797
00:36:43,370 --> 00:36:44,972
It's like...
798
00:36:45,006 --> 00:36:46,540
She can't be real.
799
00:36:46,573 --> 00:36:48,475
It's like she's
too good to be true.
800
00:36:48,508 --> 00:36:49,977
What the hell do I do?
801
00:36:50,011 --> 00:36:52,780
This is what I suggest, Greg.
802
00:36:52,814 --> 00:36:55,082
Life is short.
803
00:36:55,116 --> 00:36:57,952
The wise and doctor
thing for me to do
804
00:36:57,985 --> 00:37:02,056
is to advise you to forget
about her completely.
805
00:37:03,791 --> 00:37:05,760
Admit that you have
a love addition problem
806
00:37:05,793 --> 00:37:08,062
that needs immediate attention
807
00:37:08,095 --> 00:37:10,097
and aggressive
rehabilitation.
808
00:37:10,131 --> 00:37:13,801
Well, I say, if you really
like this girl, go for it,
809
00:37:13,835 --> 00:37:15,402
because, fuck it.
810
00:37:15,435 --> 00:37:18,538
What's the worst
that could possibly happen?
811
00:37:18,572 --> 00:37:22,043
She turns you down.
Big fucking whoop, Gregory.
812
00:37:22,076 --> 00:37:25,680
Her turning you down
doesn't hold a candle
813
00:37:25,713 --> 00:37:28,983
to your ex-girlfriend
fucking your couples therapist.
814
00:37:29,016 --> 00:37:31,518
Wow.
815
00:37:31,551 --> 00:37:32,920
That's very honest.
816
00:37:32,954 --> 00:37:34,789
Go for it, Greg,
because if you don't,
817
00:37:34,822 --> 00:37:37,758
you'll regret it
for the rest of your life.
818
00:37:37,792 --> 00:37:40,460
Okay.
819
00:37:40,493 --> 00:37:43,631
Okay. Yeah.
820
00:37:43,664 --> 00:37:45,900
I can do this.
821
00:37:45,933 --> 00:37:47,768
I think I can.
822
00:37:47,802 --> 00:37:50,104
And I think this is exactly
what I needed to hear.
823
00:37:50,137 --> 00:37:52,106
More or less.
824
00:37:52,139 --> 00:37:53,641
Thank you.
825
00:37:53,674 --> 00:37:57,510
Yeah, I mean,
let's do this.
826
00:37:57,544 --> 00:37:59,479
Right?
827
00:38:01,749 --> 00:38:03,516
So, do you think
I should just go for it?
828
00:38:03,550 --> 00:38:04,919
I personally
think it's great.
829
00:38:04,952 --> 00:38:06,687
- Yeah? You think?
- Yes.
830
00:38:06,721 --> 00:38:08,055
That's why I was trying
to set you up
831
00:38:08,089 --> 00:38:09,757
with Wenona
in the first place,
832
00:38:09,790 --> 00:38:11,859
because you need to finally
move on from Ashley.
833
00:38:11,893 --> 00:38:14,128
Whom, by the way,
is sleeping with Dr. Naik.
834
00:38:14,161 --> 00:38:15,796
Jesus, really?
835
00:38:15,830 --> 00:38:17,464
How many therapists
is that chick gonna take down?
836
00:38:17,497 --> 00:38:19,066
No, not Ashley.
Wenona.
837
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:21,035
Oh, well, makes sense.
838
00:38:21,068 --> 00:38:22,870
So, what should I do?
839
00:38:22,904 --> 00:38:25,139
I've never really tried
to pick up a roommate before.
840
00:38:25,172 --> 00:38:26,741
You know,
come to think of it,
841
00:38:26,774 --> 00:38:27,942
the only two people
I've ever tried to swoon
842
00:38:27,975 --> 00:38:28,976
were Lauren and Ashley.
843
00:38:29,010 --> 00:38:30,077
Are those the only two people
844
00:38:30,111 --> 00:38:31,511
you've ever had sex with?
845
00:38:31,544 --> 00:38:32,613
No.
846
00:38:32,647 --> 00:38:34,682
Almost.
I mean, think about it.
847
00:38:34,715 --> 00:38:36,851
I was with Lauren
for seven years.
848
00:38:36,884 --> 00:38:38,551
I was with Ashley for five.
849
00:38:38,585 --> 00:38:42,455
God, that sounds
so depressing.
850
00:38:42,489 --> 00:38:44,792
Thanks, Jules, thanks.
851
00:38:44,825 --> 00:38:45,960
What should my angle be?
852
00:38:45,993 --> 00:38:47,728
I don't know what that means.
853
00:38:47,762 --> 00:38:49,897
My angle, my game plan,
my approach.
854
00:38:49,931 --> 00:38:51,999
How do I get Peyton
to fall madly in love with me?
855
00:38:52,033 --> 00:38:54,467
- Like, ASAP?
- All right, let me think.
856
00:39:00,274 --> 00:39:01,709
No, I don't have anything.
857
00:39:01,742 --> 00:39:03,844
Really? Nothing?
858
00:39:03,878 --> 00:39:07,480
Yeah, I... I never really
had a problem getting guys.
859
00:39:07,514 --> 00:39:08,983
It was just never
an issue for me.
860
00:39:09,016 --> 00:39:12,153
That's 'cause you're a girl.
861
00:39:12,186 --> 00:39:14,221
Maybe I should talk
to Paul about this.
862
00:39:14,255 --> 00:39:18,626
Hey, maybe you just need
to start being yourself.
863
00:39:18,659 --> 00:39:21,629
Yeah, really?
864
00:39:21,662 --> 00:39:22,797
You think
that would really work?
865
00:39:22,830 --> 00:39:24,497
Totally.
866
00:39:24,531 --> 00:39:26,033
You don't think that's
a disastrous plan
867
00:39:26,067 --> 00:39:27,702
that would just blow up
in my face?
868
00:39:27,735 --> 00:39:29,236
Mm-mm.
869
00:39:29,270 --> 00:39:30,938
It'd be good.
870
00:39:33,007 --> 00:39:35,977
I mean, all right.
I might... I can do that.
871
00:39:36,010 --> 00:39:38,279
Yeah, yeah, you can do that.
872
00:39:38,312 --> 00:39:39,981
You get out there
and do it, kid,
873
00:39:40,014 --> 00:39:42,116
because you are the...
874
00:39:42,149 --> 00:39:43,884
Gregorino, welcome back!
875
00:39:43,918 --> 00:39:46,287
You look like $100,000!
876
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,022
Man, you are aces,
877
00:39:48,055 --> 00:39:49,824
and I love you
in this home, man.
878
00:39:49,857 --> 00:39:52,059
Let us just
have fun together.
879
00:39:52,093 --> 00:39:54,829
Huh?
880
00:39:54,862 --> 00:39:56,063
I gotta go.
881
00:39:56,097 --> 00:39:57,732
Yah!
882
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:20,587
Okay.
883
00:40:20,621 --> 00:40:21,889
Mm, what are you cooking?
884
00:40:21,922 --> 00:40:23,290
That smells delicious.
885
00:40:23,324 --> 00:40:25,726
Oh, it's just a little...
little dish I whipped up
886
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,294
on the fly, little
spur-of-the-moment thing.
887
00:40:27,328 --> 00:40:28,963
No big deal.
888
00:40:28,996 --> 00:40:30,597
Wow, I never knew you cooked.
889
00:40:30,631 --> 00:40:33,667
Yeah, I do lots
of really awesome stuff.
890
00:40:33,701 --> 00:40:34,769
Oh, uh, you know what?
891
00:40:34,802 --> 00:40:36,170
I actually made
enough for two,
892
00:40:36,203 --> 00:40:39,640
and I got some wine, too.
893
00:40:39,673 --> 00:40:40,975
That sounds awesome,
894
00:40:41,008 --> 00:40:42,943
but Jack and I are
going to dinner.
895
00:40:42,977 --> 00:40:45,846
Yeah, bro. We're hitting
up Bestia. You ever been?
896
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,081
It's actually the hardest
reservation in town to get,
897
00:40:47,114 --> 00:40:48,349
but I just dropped
a name or two
898
00:40:48,382 --> 00:40:51,185
from my rolodex-o and...
899
00:40:51,218 --> 00:40:52,253
Yeah, voila!
900
00:40:52,286 --> 00:40:53,754
A table magically opened up.
901
00:40:53,788 --> 00:40:54,822
Well, it wasn't
really magic,
902
00:40:54,855 --> 00:40:56,657
I-I basically did that!
903
00:40:56,690 --> 00:40:58,859
8:00 p.m. reservation,
right up front,
904
00:40:58,893 --> 00:41:02,196
day of, no less.
Nonetheless.
905
00:41:02,229 --> 00:41:03,596
Wow.
906
00:41:03,631 --> 00:41:07,201
That's...
really impressive.
907
00:41:07,234 --> 00:41:09,370
Yeah, I know.
We were gonna Uber Select,
908
00:41:09,403 --> 00:41:12,273
but, uh, I figured I'd take
my new Tezzy for a spin.
909
00:41:12,306 --> 00:41:16,110
All right, wow.
That sounds... mm.
910
00:41:16,143 --> 00:41:17,244
Do you want...
do you want to come with us?
911
00:41:19,713 --> 00:41:20,815
No, I... it's totally cool.
912
00:41:20,848 --> 00:41:25,152
I... I have... I made dinner.
913
00:41:25,186 --> 00:41:27,254
Just a little thing.
It's called bún thit xào.
914
00:41:27,288 --> 00:41:29,256
It's a Vietnamese
pork shoulder
915
00:41:29,290 --> 00:41:32,827
over vermicelli noodles
with a supple demi-glaze.
916
00:41:32,860 --> 00:41:35,029
- Wow.
- So good.
917
00:41:35,062 --> 00:41:36,163
Okay.
918
00:41:36,197 --> 00:41:38,265
That sounds really good.
919
00:41:38,299 --> 00:41:40,668
I have a knack
for Southeast Asian cuisine.
920
00:41:40,701 --> 00:41:43,137
Okay.
921
00:41:43,170 --> 00:41:45,272
So, yeah,
I'm gonna make dinner
922
00:41:45,306 --> 00:41:47,241
and maybe get
into some boxed wine
923
00:41:47,274 --> 00:41:49,677
and watch some Kardashians.
924
00:41:49,710 --> 00:41:51,112
That sounds fun.
925
00:41:51,145 --> 00:41:53,414
Wow, livin' the dream.
926
00:41:53,447 --> 00:41:56,350
All right, well,
enjoy dinner.
927
00:41:56,383 --> 00:41:59,053
I'll... I'll see you later.
928
00:41:59,086 --> 00:42:00,087
I'll see you when I get home.
929
00:42:00,121 --> 00:42:01,288
- Okay.
- 'Kay.
930
00:42:01,322 --> 00:42:03,257
Enjoy those Kardashians, bro.
931
00:42:03,290 --> 00:42:04,792
Thanks, man.
932
00:42:04,825 --> 00:42:07,094
- Is he gay?
- I don't know. Shh.
933
00:42:07,128 --> 00:42:08,762
- I don't know.
- He's a tremendously good cook
934
00:42:08,796 --> 00:42:10,898
and he, like, watches
the E exclamation channel.
935
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:21,342
And just like that,
936
00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:23,711
Greg's life sucked ass
once again.
937
00:42:23,744 --> 00:42:26,113
He couldn't believe
his bad luck.
938
00:42:26,147 --> 00:42:28,282
All he wanted to do
was run after
939
00:42:28,315 --> 00:42:32,319
that Tezzy driving sack of shit
with his bún thit xào knife
940
00:42:32,353 --> 00:42:34,121
and stab him to death
with it
941
00:42:34,155 --> 00:42:36,257
so that he could be
with Peyton.
942
00:42:36,290 --> 00:42:38,425
But he decided to let
cooler heads prevail
943
00:42:38,459 --> 00:42:40,895
and go see Paul instead.
944
00:42:45,065 --> 00:42:47,334
Dude, you just got to nut up.
945
00:42:47,368 --> 00:42:52,173
Every girl has got
Greggy-poo's head spinning.
946
00:42:52,206 --> 00:42:54,175
What are you
talking about? No, they don't.
947
00:42:54,208 --> 00:42:57,278
Uh, in high school,
there was that chick
948
00:42:57,311 --> 00:43:00,848
with the one hand who had
the different sized titties.
949
00:43:00,881 --> 00:43:02,383
What, you're talking
about Debra?
950
00:43:02,416 --> 00:43:04,351
No, no, she did not
have my head spinning.
951
00:43:04,385 --> 00:43:06,720
Agree to disagree, Greg.
952
00:43:06,754 --> 00:43:09,056
- Treat?
- Yeah.
953
00:43:09,089 --> 00:43:12,193
Mm.
954
00:43:12,226 --> 00:43:14,028
What about Lauren?
955
00:43:14,061 --> 00:43:15,996
Oh, come on, Lauren didn't
have my head spinning.
956
00:43:16,030 --> 00:43:19,366
You had to take a six-month
leave of absence from work
957
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,402
for severe depression and
anxiety
958
00:43:21,435 --> 00:43:23,103
when she dumped you.
959
00:43:23,137 --> 00:43:26,006
Yeah, well, it was just
a phase I was going through.
960
00:43:27,541 --> 00:43:29,977
What about the rest of those
girls you obsessed about
961
00:43:30,010 --> 00:43:31,512
after they rejected you
962
00:43:31,545 --> 00:43:34,315
before you finally landed Ash,
that fuckin' winner?
963
00:43:34,348 --> 00:43:37,117
You know what? I did not
obsess over all those girls.
964
00:43:37,151 --> 00:43:40,754
Bro, three out of four of them
defriended you on Facebook.
965
00:43:40,788 --> 00:43:42,189
I was gonna defriend them first.
966
00:43:42,223 --> 00:43:44,058
They just... they beat me
to the punch.
967
00:43:44,091 --> 00:43:47,895
All I'm saying
is be careful, Greg.
968
00:43:47,928 --> 00:43:50,164
Look, I am, okay?
I get it.
969
00:43:50,197 --> 00:43:52,499
Paul, man.
Great hang today, huh, brother?
970
00:43:52,533 --> 00:43:54,435
Mm!
971
00:44:05,179 --> 00:44:06,480
Who's that?
972
00:44:06,513 --> 00:44:08,015
Fuck do I know?
973
00:44:23,564 --> 00:44:24,865
Hi, oh, I'm sorry.
974
00:44:24,898 --> 00:44:26,533
- I...
- Oh. Oh.
975
00:44:26,567 --> 00:44:28,235
I thought I was
the only one here.
976
00:44:28,269 --> 00:44:30,104
No, it's okay.
977
00:44:30,137 --> 00:44:31,205
I'll leave.
978
00:44:31,238 --> 00:44:33,240
No, no, no, no.
Would you stay?
979
00:44:34,942 --> 00:44:36,510
I'd like it if you'd stay.
980
00:44:36,543 --> 00:44:38,112
Okay.
981
00:44:45,052 --> 00:44:46,186
I'm not gonna bite you.
982
00:44:52,192 --> 00:44:54,461
Is everything all right?
983
00:44:54,495 --> 00:44:56,230
Yeah, I'm fine.
984
00:44:56,263 --> 00:44:58,198
How was dinner?
985
00:44:58,232 --> 00:45:00,301
Awful.
986
00:45:00,334 --> 00:45:02,336
I'm sorry to hear that.
987
00:45:02,369 --> 00:45:03,837
Guy was a fucking taint.
988
00:45:03,871 --> 00:45:05,239
Yeah, well,
he didn't really make
989
00:45:05,272 --> 00:45:07,141
the greatest
first impression.
990
00:45:07,174 --> 00:45:09,209
All he wanted to do
was have sex with me.
991
00:45:09,243 --> 00:45:12,379
I'm sorry, Peyton.
992
00:45:12,413 --> 00:45:15,316
Why are all guys
such slimy dick holes?
993
00:45:15,349 --> 00:45:17,851
Well, not all guys
are slimy dick holes.
994
00:45:17,885 --> 00:45:20,421
Some are really,
really, really great.
995
00:45:20,454 --> 00:45:21,922
All he did was talk
about himself
996
00:45:21,955 --> 00:45:23,424
and how much money he has,
997
00:45:23,457 --> 00:45:25,859
and blah-dee-fuckity-
blah-blah-blah-blah-blah,
998
00:45:25,893 --> 00:45:27,461
and then when I didn't
invite him in,
999
00:45:27,494 --> 00:45:30,632
he called me a prude bitch
and he drove away in his Tezzy.
1000
00:45:30,665 --> 00:45:33,367
Tezzy? Really?
Fucking douchebag.
1001
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,869
What a clit face.
1002
00:45:35,903 --> 00:45:37,538
Mm.
1003
00:45:39,373 --> 00:45:41,643
What about you, Greg,
are you in a relationship?
1004
00:45:41,676 --> 00:45:44,646
No, I am totally single.
1005
00:45:44,679 --> 00:45:46,380
Completely available.
1006
00:45:46,413 --> 00:45:48,349
Good.
1007
00:45:48,382 --> 00:45:50,517
'Cause relationships suck.
1008
00:45:50,551 --> 00:45:52,286
My last relationship,
1009
00:45:52,319 --> 00:45:55,289
we lived together
for three years,
1010
00:45:55,322 --> 00:45:58,192
and then I find out
that my best friend
1011
00:45:58,225 --> 00:46:03,130
has been fucking him
for two of the three years.
1012
00:46:03,163 --> 00:46:04,398
And how do I find out?
1013
00:46:04,431 --> 00:46:06,033
I find out because
they asked me
1014
00:46:06,066 --> 00:46:08,035
if I wanted to be
in a threesome with them.
1015
00:46:08,068 --> 00:46:11,271
- Oh, my God.
- I know!
1016
00:46:11,305 --> 00:46:13,608
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
1017
00:46:13,641 --> 00:46:14,908
I am so sorry.
1018
00:46:14,942 --> 00:46:16,410
I know exactly
how that feels.
1019
00:46:16,443 --> 00:46:17,612
No, you do?
1020
00:46:17,645 --> 00:46:19,647
It's so fucked up.
1021
00:46:19,681 --> 00:46:21,382
By both of them.
1022
00:46:21,415 --> 00:46:26,220
I found out
a month before I came out here.
1023
00:46:26,253 --> 00:46:28,522
It's actually
what made me pull the trigger.
1024
00:46:28,555 --> 00:46:31,058
Well, I mean, as awful
a situation as that is,
1025
00:46:31,091 --> 00:46:34,094
I... I'm really sorry
that happened to you.
1026
00:46:34,128 --> 00:46:38,031
You know, at least it
convinced you to come out here.
1027
00:46:40,501 --> 00:46:42,604
Yeah.
1028
00:46:42,637 --> 00:46:46,373
Hey, would it be, um,
totally inappropriate
1029
00:46:46,407 --> 00:46:48,375
- if we spooned?
- Fuck, no.
1030
00:46:48,409 --> 00:46:51,345
Okay.
1031
00:46:51,378 --> 00:46:52,579
I want to be
the little one.
1032
00:46:52,614 --> 00:46:53,681
I'd like to do it
right now.
1033
00:46:53,715 --> 00:46:54,649
Me, too.
1034
00:46:56,016 --> 00:46:58,485
Ooh.
Ooh-kay.
1035
00:46:58,519 --> 00:47:00,622
Ooh-kay.
1036
00:47:00,655 --> 00:47:02,189
Yeah.
1037
00:47:02,222 --> 00:47:05,727
Yeah, that's
a tad overzealous.
1038
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,327
It feels right to me.
1039
00:47:07,361 --> 00:47:09,697
Mm, I'm actually having
trouble breathing.
1040
00:47:09,731 --> 00:47:12,399
There we go, okay.
1041
00:47:17,304 --> 00:47:18,539
That's good.
1042
00:47:22,476 --> 00:47:25,045
Good night, Greg.
1043
00:47:26,513 --> 00:47:28,015
Good night, Peyton.
1044
00:47:40,027 --> 00:47:41,428
I can feel your dick.
1045
00:48:29,677 --> 00:48:31,646
Come in.
1046
00:48:36,718 --> 00:48:39,152
Well, would you look at this.
1047
00:48:39,186 --> 00:48:43,190
The man was paralyzed
with anxiety and depression,
1048
00:48:43,223 --> 00:48:47,261
and now he's transformed himself
into a whistling Dixie
1049
00:48:47,294 --> 00:48:49,496
right before our very eyes.
1050
00:48:49,530 --> 00:48:50,832
Morning, Doc.
1051
00:48:50,865 --> 00:48:52,232
You got some ass, didn't you?
1052
00:48:52,266 --> 00:48:55,402
Nope, even better.
Cuddling.
1053
00:48:55,435 --> 00:48:56,604
Cuddling?
1054
00:48:56,638 --> 00:48:59,072
Yeah.
Total cuddle sesh.
1055
00:48:59,106 --> 00:49:01,743
- Cuddle sesh with whom?
- My roommate.
1056
00:49:01,776 --> 00:49:04,578
Ah, yes.
The roommate.
1057
00:49:04,612 --> 00:49:07,749
Oh, wow.
Good for you, sailor.
1058
00:49:07,782 --> 00:49:09,249
Give it a few more months
1059
00:49:09,283 --> 00:49:11,585
and maybe you can
grab a tit or two.
1060
00:49:11,619 --> 00:49:13,788
That's the thing, I don't even
care about the sexual part.
1061
00:49:13,821 --> 00:49:15,489
- Really?
- Yeah.
1062
00:49:15,522 --> 00:49:17,357
I mean, look, of course,
she's smoking hot,
1063
00:49:17,391 --> 00:49:19,259
so getting
a nice blowy or two from her
1064
00:49:19,293 --> 00:49:21,863
or making some sweet love
would certainly be nice.
1065
00:49:21,896 --> 00:49:24,632
What about in the bum?
1066
00:49:24,666 --> 00:49:27,267
Am I actually paying you
for these sessions?
1067
00:49:27,301 --> 00:49:29,403
Moving right along,
let's continue.
1068
00:49:29,436 --> 00:49:31,271
No, that's the different
thing about her,
1069
00:49:31,305 --> 00:49:33,106
is I don't care
about that part.
1070
00:49:33,140 --> 00:49:37,812
It's like, I don't know,
I just wanna be...
1071
00:49:37,845 --> 00:49:40,314
I don't know,
I just want to be near her.
1072
00:49:40,347 --> 00:49:42,884
You know? It's like we have
this crazy soul connection.
1073
00:49:42,917 --> 00:49:44,652
I don't know.
I can't describe it.
1074
00:49:44,686 --> 00:49:46,386
Well, that's terrific, Greg.
1075
00:49:46,420 --> 00:49:47,889
I'm very happy for you.
1076
00:49:47,922 --> 00:49:49,356
Thanks, Doc.
1077
00:49:49,389 --> 00:49:50,625
I feel like a new man.
1078
00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:52,694
I must warn you, though.
1079
00:49:52,727 --> 00:49:55,128
This could be
a natural high of sorts.
1080
00:49:55,162 --> 00:49:57,899
Given with your love addiction
and all,
1081
00:49:57,932 --> 00:50:01,368
sometimes the mind
creates a fictional experience,
1082
00:50:01,401 --> 00:50:03,871
a false high,
similar to feelings
1083
00:50:03,905 --> 00:50:06,841
of being lost and emptiness
during depression.
1084
00:50:06,874 --> 00:50:08,610
I don't want you
to get too high
1085
00:50:08,643 --> 00:50:11,913
and then crash and then take
a step backwards.
1086
00:50:11,946 --> 00:50:15,783
You know, I...
I wouldn't worry.
1087
00:50:15,817 --> 00:50:17,852
I think I've really
turned a corner here, Doc.
1088
00:50:17,885 --> 00:50:19,486
But I have to say,
1089
00:50:19,519 --> 00:50:21,221
those were some impressive
words of wisdom.
1090
00:50:21,254 --> 00:50:22,824
You actually sound like
a real doctor.
1091
00:50:22,857 --> 00:50:26,193
- Well, thanks, Greg.
- Yeah.
1092
00:50:26,226 --> 00:50:28,428
You know what?
I'll catch you later.
1093
00:50:28,462 --> 00:50:30,497
We have 55 minutes
left in our session.
1094
00:50:30,530 --> 00:50:31,866
I don't think I need 'em.
1095
00:50:31,899 --> 00:50:33,400
I feel great.
1096
00:50:33,433 --> 00:50:34,802
Plus, I gotta
take a shit.
1097
00:50:34,836 --> 00:50:37,170
See you later, Doc.
1098
00:50:39,206 --> 00:50:41,876
Aw, shit.
What's up, my girl?
1099
00:50:41,909 --> 00:50:44,746
Well, you seem to be
in a better mood today.
1100
00:50:44,779 --> 00:50:46,614
Well, I am.
I think I'm starting to feel
1101
00:50:46,648 --> 00:50:49,249
- like my old self again.
- Oh, that's terrific.
1102
00:50:49,282 --> 00:50:51,653
How's the new roommate?
Julie told me all about her.
1103
00:50:51,686 --> 00:50:54,488
Mom, she's amazing.
Like, I'm not kidding.
1104
00:50:54,521 --> 00:50:56,590
I think she's like
relationship-worthy amazing.
1105
00:50:56,624 --> 00:50:58,793
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, boy, what?
1106
00:50:58,826 --> 00:51:00,494
Just be careful
not to rush things.
1107
00:51:00,527 --> 00:51:02,229
When something seems
too good to be true,
1108
00:51:02,262 --> 00:51:03,230
it often is.
1109
00:51:03,263 --> 00:51:04,398
Why's everybody
1110
00:51:04,431 --> 00:51:06,233
keep saying that to me?
1111
00:51:06,266 --> 00:51:08,636
And I love your optimism,
by the way.
1112
00:51:08,670 --> 00:51:11,338
- You sound just like Dad.
- Well, I'm just saying.
1113
00:51:11,371 --> 00:51:12,774
I don't want to see you
get hurt again.
1114
00:51:12,807 --> 00:51:14,341
Well, son of a sailor, Mom.
1115
00:51:14,374 --> 00:51:16,309
Way to take the wind
right out of my sails.
1116
00:51:16,343 --> 00:51:17,912
Well, I don't mean to.
1117
00:51:17,945 --> 00:51:19,546
I'm just trying to keep you
from getting hurt,
1118
00:51:19,579 --> 00:51:20,948
to protect you, jeez.
1119
00:51:20,982 --> 00:51:22,349
Yeah, yeah.
1120
00:51:22,382 --> 00:51:24,351
Greg!
1121
00:51:24,384 --> 00:51:26,453
Mom, I gotta go. That's Jules.
1122
00:51:26,486 --> 00:51:28,656
Okay, say hi
to Jules for me.
1123
00:51:28,690 --> 00:51:29,724
I will.
And, hey, look.
1124
00:51:29,757 --> 00:51:30,992
You are a dirty-ass sailor,
1125
00:51:31,025 --> 00:51:32,559
but, God damn it,
I love you.
1126
00:51:32,592 --> 00:51:36,296
I love you, too, baby.
Bye-bye.
1127
00:51:38,532 --> 00:51:40,768
Hey, Jules, I'm in here.
1128
00:51:40,802 --> 00:51:42,670
Oh, Jesus Christ, Greg.
1129
00:51:42,704 --> 00:51:45,338
It smells like Grandpa
when he had his colonoscopy.
1130
00:51:45,372 --> 00:51:46,941
Sorry.
1131
00:51:46,974 --> 00:51:49,744
I had a pork shoulder
with vermicelli noodles
1132
00:51:49,777 --> 00:51:51,511
with a supple demi-glaze
last night.
1133
00:51:53,313 --> 00:51:54,782
Best TV dinner
I've ever had.
1134
00:51:54,816 --> 00:51:57,985
Oh, man, that is
just rank, Greg.
1135
00:51:58,019 --> 00:52:02,589
It's like a thick,
misty... just thick.
1136
00:52:02,623 --> 00:52:03,958
It's just really thick.
1137
00:52:03,991 --> 00:52:04,992
Oh, I'm sorry.
1138
00:52:05,026 --> 00:52:07,260
Anyway, is she here?
1139
00:52:07,294 --> 00:52:08,896
And are you sure
that you want to subject her
1140
00:52:08,930 --> 00:52:11,331
to, you know, like,
our family bowel problems?
1141
00:52:11,364 --> 00:52:12,900
No, of course not,
but she's not here.
1142
00:52:12,934 --> 00:52:15,402
- She must be in class.
- Class?
1143
00:52:15,435 --> 00:52:17,739
Please tell me
you're not robbing the cradle.
1144
00:52:17,772 --> 00:52:20,507
Grad school, Jules.
Grad school.
1145
00:52:20,540 --> 00:52:22,509
Thank God.
Phew.
1146
00:52:24,011 --> 00:52:24,946
Who is that?
1147
00:52:24,979 --> 00:52:26,814
I think it's for me.
1148
00:52:26,848 --> 00:52:29,050
I'm gonna be back
in a second.
1149
00:52:29,083 --> 00:52:31,819
Who is that?
Who the fuck is that?
1150
00:52:31,853 --> 00:52:35,757
Shut the door!
Don't leave me like this!
1151
00:52:35,790 --> 00:52:38,059
God damn it.
1152
00:52:38,092 --> 00:52:39,894
Spell my name, boy.
1153
00:52:39,927 --> 00:52:41,896
One!
1154
00:52:41,929 --> 00:52:44,331
Spell my name out loud.
1155
00:52:45,700 --> 00:52:47,534
Okay.
1156
00:52:47,567 --> 00:52:49,003
H-E-C-T-O-R.
1157
00:52:49,036 --> 00:52:51,873
That's right.
Do it again.
1158
00:52:51,906 --> 00:52:53,573
H-E-C-T-O-R.
1159
00:52:53,608 --> 00:52:55,076
That's right.
Do it again! Once more!
1160
00:52:55,109 --> 00:52:56,476
Whoo!
1161
00:52:56,510 --> 00:52:58,012
H-E-C-T-O-R.
1162
00:52:58,045 --> 00:52:59,446
Yeah!
1163
00:52:59,479 --> 00:53:00,480
Don't you forget,
motherfucker.
1164
00:53:00,514 --> 00:53:02,884
- One more time.
- H-E-C-T-O-R.
1165
00:53:02,917 --> 00:53:04,051
That's what
I'm talking about.
1166
00:53:04,085 --> 00:53:05,920
H-E-C-T-O-R.
1167
00:53:05,953 --> 00:53:07,922
H-E-C-T-O-R.
1168
00:53:07,955 --> 00:53:10,825
H-E-C-T-O-R.
1169
00:53:10,858 --> 00:53:12,492
Whoo!
1170
00:53:13,895 --> 00:53:15,763
All right, baby girl.
Good to see you.
1171
00:53:18,699 --> 00:53:20,333
Have you a good day.
1172
00:53:20,367 --> 00:53:22,937
Mm, you, too, Hector.
I will see you tomorrow.
1173
00:53:22,970 --> 00:53:23,971
Can't wait.
1174
00:53:32,546 --> 00:53:33,748
All right.
1175
00:53:36,449 --> 00:53:37,985
Great workout.
1176
00:53:41,656 --> 00:53:43,991
Not bad, pussy boy.
Not bad at all.
1177
00:53:44,025 --> 00:53:46,027
You might have a soldier
in there after all.
1178
00:53:46,060 --> 00:53:48,863
- Thank you, sir.
- Spell my name.
1179
00:53:48,896 --> 00:53:51,065
H-E-C-T-O-R.
1180
00:53:51,098 --> 00:53:52,499
All right, then.
1181
00:53:58,438 --> 00:54:01,609
See? Right? He's not so bad.
1182
00:54:01,642 --> 00:54:03,711
What are you talking about?
He's a psycho.
1183
00:54:03,744 --> 00:54:06,546
Oh, you're so dramatic.
And, you know what?
1184
00:54:06,580 --> 00:54:08,616
If you stop being so
negative and keep it up,
1185
00:54:08,649 --> 00:54:09,817
I think you have
a really good chance
1186
00:54:09,851 --> 00:54:11,085
of getting back
on his squad.
1187
00:54:11,118 --> 00:54:13,087
His squad?
What does that even mean?
1188
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:14,622
I don't know what it means,
1189
00:54:14,655 --> 00:54:16,057
but I know you
want to be on it.
1190
00:54:16,090 --> 00:54:17,892
All right, listen,
I gotta run.
1191
00:54:17,925 --> 00:54:20,527
But, wait, I thought you had
to talk to me about something.
1192
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,063
Nope.
I was just trying to trick you
1193
00:54:22,096 --> 00:54:23,764
into exercising,
which worked,
1194
00:54:23,798 --> 00:54:24,932
so you could
get those endorphins.
1195
00:54:24,966 --> 00:54:26,767
Oh, my God,
you are the worst!
1196
00:54:26,801 --> 00:54:28,069
- Ow.
- Sorry.
1197
00:54:28,102 --> 00:54:30,104
But I love you, Greg.
1198
00:54:30,137 --> 00:54:31,138
So be good.
1199
00:54:31,172 --> 00:54:32,740
I love you, too.
1200
00:54:32,773 --> 00:54:35,009
Okay, well,
feel better.
1201
00:54:35,042 --> 00:54:38,045
And stop
being crazy, okay?
1202
00:54:38,079 --> 00:54:39,780
Okay.
1203
00:54:39,814 --> 00:54:42,582
- Hey, Jules.
- Yeah?
1204
00:54:42,617 --> 00:54:43,885
Thank you.
1205
00:54:43,918 --> 00:54:45,485
You're welcome, girl.
1206
00:55:25,492 --> 00:55:26,727
The first stop
1207
00:55:26,761 --> 00:55:27,895
is the most important
stop of the day.
1208
00:55:27,929 --> 00:55:29,630
Your mind is about
to be blown
1209
00:55:29,664 --> 00:55:31,564
with delicious
gloriousness.
1210
00:55:31,598 --> 00:55:34,168
Okay, so, um,
I'm a vegetarian.
1211
00:55:37,204 --> 00:55:38,505
- Oh.
- Yeah.
1212
00:55:38,538 --> 00:55:39,874
Yeah, Greg.
1213
00:55:39,907 --> 00:55:41,541
Have you not seen any
of the documentaries
1214
00:55:41,574 --> 00:55:43,110
about factory farming
and the treatment
1215
00:55:43,144 --> 00:55:46,647
of animals
in the United States?
1216
00:55:46,681 --> 00:55:49,582
- Uh, no.
- I mean, it's...
1217
00:55:49,617 --> 00:55:52,485
it's not appetizing,
I'll say that.
1218
00:55:52,519 --> 00:55:54,487
I mean, it's atrocious.
1219
00:55:54,521 --> 00:55:56,157
Okay.
1220
00:55:56,190 --> 00:55:57,925
Um, yeah.
1221
00:55:57,959 --> 00:56:01,195
I think there's a vegan Indian
place down the road.
1222
00:56:01,228 --> 00:56:03,164
- Vegan?
- Yeah.
1223
00:56:03,197 --> 00:56:04,966
I'm just fucking with you, dude!
1224
00:56:04,999 --> 00:56:06,934
I'm from Chicago,
of course I eat meat!
1225
00:56:06,968 --> 00:56:10,104
Come on.
You are so gullible.
1226
00:56:12,539 --> 00:56:15,508
Oh, my God.
I am so fucked.
1227
00:56:40,101 --> 00:56:41,568
I'm fisting it.
1228
00:56:41,602 --> 00:56:43,871
Uh, you can.
1229
00:56:43,904 --> 00:56:45,706
Go for it!
1230
00:56:45,740 --> 00:56:47,008
Whoo!
1231
00:56:47,041 --> 00:56:49,844
So, yeah, here we are.
1232
00:56:49,877 --> 00:56:51,112
This is Hollywood.
1233
00:56:51,145 --> 00:56:52,545
That looks like a bonsai tree,
1234
00:56:52,579 --> 00:56:54,148
- but a big one.
- Mm-hmm. It does.
1235
00:56:54,181 --> 00:56:55,850
Like, the opposite
of a bonsai tree,
1236
00:56:55,883 --> 00:56:58,753
but the type of tree
they make into bonsai plants?
1237
00:56:58,786 --> 00:57:00,221
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1238
00:57:00,254 --> 00:57:01,554
Are you a botanist?
1239
00:57:04,992 --> 00:57:06,193
- On your mark...
- Okay.
1240
00:57:06,227 --> 00:57:08,229
...get set...
1241
00:57:08,262 --> 00:57:10,197
go!
1242
00:58:05,019 --> 00:58:08,289
Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
1243
00:58:08,322 --> 00:58:10,958
No, you have
a real talent.
1244
00:58:10,991 --> 00:58:12,893
It's nothing.
Really.
1245
00:58:17,965 --> 00:58:20,134
But, thank you.
I will keep it in mind
1246
00:58:20,167 --> 00:58:21,402
just in case the writing thing
doesn't work out.
1247
00:58:25,706 --> 00:58:27,341
What is this?
This is really good.
1248
00:58:27,374 --> 00:58:29,243
Mm.
Thank you.
1249
00:58:29,276 --> 00:58:34,281
It's, um, a cabernet sauvignon
from the Franzia region.
1250
00:58:34,315 --> 00:58:36,984
- Oh, Franzia region.
- Yes. Mm.
1251
00:58:37,017 --> 00:58:39,954
- Near Napa.
- Napa, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
1252
00:58:39,987 --> 00:58:41,355
Well, I like it.
1253
00:58:41,388 --> 00:58:43,791
Yeah, me, too.
1254
00:58:43,824 --> 00:58:45,693
Lot of tannins.
1255
00:58:45,726 --> 00:58:48,162
So, um...
so, how's school going?
1256
00:58:48,195 --> 00:58:49,697
Great, actually.
1257
00:58:49,730 --> 00:58:51,065
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1258
00:58:51,098 --> 00:58:52,333
Yeah, the material's
super interesting,
1259
00:58:52,366 --> 00:58:55,803
and my professors
are super smart.
1260
00:58:55,836 --> 00:58:57,304
What about your classmates?
1261
00:58:57,338 --> 00:58:58,772
- Super dorky.
- Oh, nice.
1262
00:58:58,806 --> 00:59:01,342
No, they're...
they're good.
1263
00:59:01,375 --> 00:59:02,910
It sounds like
you made the right choice.
1264
00:59:05,079 --> 00:59:09,450
Yeah, I don't know.
I hope so.
1265
00:59:09,483 --> 00:59:12,686
I'm pretty sure you did.
1266
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,188
Yeah?
1267
00:59:15,990 --> 00:59:17,791
Yeah.
1268
00:59:20,427 --> 00:59:22,129
To making the right choice.
1269
00:59:22,163 --> 00:59:24,098
Cheers.
1270
00:59:42,483 --> 00:59:44,151
I like how you decorated.
1271
00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:48,389
Thanks.
1272
00:59:48,422 --> 00:59:52,226
None of it's mine, but...
1273
00:59:52,259 --> 00:59:53,827
the bookcase is mine.
1274
00:59:56,130 --> 00:59:58,432
I like the bookcase.
1275
00:59:58,465 --> 00:59:59,733
Thanks.
1276
01:00:03,938 --> 01:00:06,407
We should, um...
we should take a weekend trip
1277
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,409
to Franzia sometimes.
1278
01:00:08,442 --> 01:00:09,510
Sometime.
1279
01:00:09,543 --> 01:00:11,779
- Franzia.
- Franzia.
1280
01:00:11,812 --> 01:00:13,214
Franzia.
1281
01:00:28,128 --> 01:00:29,430
I'm gonna put my wine down.
1282
01:00:29,463 --> 01:00:30,998
Okay.
1283
01:00:31,031 --> 01:00:33,100
But I'm gonna be right back.
1284
01:00:33,133 --> 01:00:34,335
And now I'm back.
1285
01:00:42,076 --> 01:00:44,044
- Can I, um...
- Do you want to go this side?
1286
01:00:44,078 --> 01:00:46,013
I just wanna go...
I usually go like that side.
1287
01:00:46,046 --> 01:00:47,281
Could you do that...
on that side?
1288
01:00:47,314 --> 01:00:48,515
- Yeah, I'll do this side.
- Okay.
1289
01:00:48,549 --> 01:00:49,783
Okay.
1290
01:00:52,519 --> 01:00:54,188
Whatever.
I can do both, actually.
1291
01:00:54,221 --> 01:00:55,155
Okay.
1292
01:01:00,194 --> 01:01:01,862
I'm skilled
on both sides, too.
1293
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,334
I just have to say
right off the top...
1294
01:01:07,368 --> 01:01:08,869
- I like your tongue.
- I was just gonna say
1295
01:01:08,902 --> 01:01:10,037
right off the top,
you are a great kisser.
1296
01:01:10,070 --> 01:01:11,472
Thank you so much.
So are you.
1297
01:01:11,505 --> 01:01:12,940
Sometimes you kiss people
and it's not good.
1298
01:01:12,973 --> 01:01:14,174
- It's awful!
- It's terrible.
1299
01:01:14,208 --> 01:01:16,977
But this is great!
Mm. Mm.
1300
01:01:25,019 --> 01:01:28,389
Do you want to go
to your room?
1301
01:01:28,422 --> 01:01:31,325
That's
a very loaded question.
1302
01:01:33,060 --> 01:01:34,795
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.
1303
01:01:39,266 --> 01:01:40,301
Yeah.
1304
01:01:44,972 --> 01:01:46,340
Holy shit, look out!
1305
01:01:46,373 --> 01:01:48,142
Greg's body was tingling
1306
01:01:48,175 --> 01:01:51,278
with the abundant joy
of new love.
1307
01:01:51,312 --> 01:01:55,849
And also with a lot
of nasty sexual stuff.
1308
01:01:55,883 --> 01:01:59,386
His heart was fooled,
his pain was gone,
1309
01:01:59,420 --> 01:02:01,588
and it was all
because of Peyton.
1310
01:02:01,623 --> 01:02:04,124
The only thing Greg
wanted to do
1311
01:02:04,158 --> 01:02:07,161
was run away with her,
get married,
1312
01:02:07,194 --> 01:02:09,129
and live happily ever after.
1313
01:02:51,338 --> 01:02:52,607
Ashley.
1314
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:54,642
Hey, Greg.
1315
01:02:54,676 --> 01:02:57,411
Wow, you look great.
1316
01:02:57,444 --> 01:02:58,479
What are you doing here?
1317
01:02:58,512 --> 01:02:59,647
Can you talk?
1318
01:02:59,681 --> 01:03:03,417
Uh... no.
1319
01:03:03,450 --> 01:03:06,453
- Why?
- Not a good time.
1320
01:03:08,188 --> 01:03:10,958
I just need
a few minutes.
1321
01:03:10,991 --> 01:03:13,527
Please, Greg,
it's important.
1322
01:03:15,062 --> 01:03:17,398
- Fine, two minutes.
- All right.
1323
01:03:17,431 --> 01:03:18,599
But don't say anything.
1324
01:03:20,968 --> 01:03:22,403
Okay.
1325
01:03:27,709 --> 01:03:30,511
Greg? Greg?
1326
01:03:34,248 --> 01:03:36,718
I must warn you, though,
this could be
1327
01:03:36,751 --> 01:03:38,385
a natural high of sorts,
1328
01:03:38,419 --> 01:03:41,488
given with your
love addiction and all.
1329
01:03:41,522 --> 01:03:44,726
- Greg?
- Where's my inhaler?
1330
01:03:44,759 --> 01:03:46,160
Excuse me.
1331
01:03:49,229 --> 01:03:51,098
Greg?
1332
01:03:51,131 --> 01:03:52,132
What are you doing?
1333
01:03:55,637 --> 01:03:57,438
- Is she here?
- She's not here.
1334
01:03:57,471 --> 01:03:58,572
She must be in class.
1335
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:01,008
Greg.
1336
01:04:06,380 --> 01:04:08,182
Greg, have you
been drinking?
1337
01:04:10,551 --> 01:04:12,720
Just be
careful not to rush things.
1338
01:04:12,754 --> 01:04:15,422
When seems too good to be true,
it often is.
1339
01:04:15,456 --> 01:04:18,091
Why does everybody
keep saying that to me?
1340
01:04:20,093 --> 01:04:23,497
Please tell me what the hell
is going on here?
1341
01:04:23,530 --> 01:04:26,567
I'm in love.
It's my roommate.
1342
01:04:26,601 --> 01:04:28,569
She lives in my apartment
and I'm in love with her
1343
01:04:28,603 --> 01:04:31,171
and I've barely even seen her
or spoken to her.
1344
01:04:31,205 --> 01:04:34,341
It's like I...
she can't be real.
1345
01:04:34,374 --> 01:04:36,376
It's like she's
too good to be true.
1346
01:04:38,646 --> 01:04:40,782
Okay, you're really
freaking me out now, Greg.
1347
01:04:45,052 --> 01:04:47,722
Oh.
1348
01:04:47,755 --> 01:04:51,024
And admit that you have
a love addiction problem
1349
01:04:51,058 --> 01:04:55,062
that needs immediate attention
and aggressive rehabilitation.
1350
01:04:55,095 --> 01:04:58,766
Sometimes the mind creates
a fictional experience,
1351
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,802
a false high,
similar to feelings
1352
01:05:00,835 --> 01:05:04,404
of being lost and emptiness
during depression.
1353
01:05:04,438 --> 01:05:06,406
I don't want you
to get too high
1354
01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:09,644
and then crash
and then take a step backwards.
1355
01:05:09,677 --> 01:05:11,378
Greg?
1356
01:05:16,684 --> 01:05:18,653
- Hi.
- Hi.
1357
01:05:18,686 --> 01:05:20,420
- Are you Greg?
- Yeah.
1358
01:05:20,454 --> 01:05:22,289
Hi, I'm Peyton.
1359
01:05:24,692 --> 01:05:26,761
Oh, yeah, right, no.
I-I'm sorry.
1360
01:05:26,794 --> 01:05:30,665
I didn't... I... my...
I thought that when...
1361
01:05:30,698 --> 01:05:32,232
I thought that Peyton
was a boy's name.
1362
01:05:32,266 --> 01:05:34,501
I... no offense.
1363
01:05:37,237 --> 01:05:38,539
Greg?
1364
01:05:42,509 --> 01:05:43,443
Greg?
1365
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,616
Greg?
1366
01:05:48,650 --> 01:05:50,050
Greg!
1367
01:06:01,896 --> 01:06:03,698
Marilyn French once said,
1368
01:06:03,731 --> 01:06:06,300
"Love is insanity."
1369
01:06:06,333 --> 01:06:08,670
It's the taking over
of the rational mind
1370
01:06:08,703 --> 01:06:11,706
by delusion
and self-destruction.
1371
01:06:11,739 --> 01:06:13,373
I think it's fair to say,
1372
01:06:13,407 --> 01:06:15,643
those words ring very true
in my case.
1373
01:06:15,677 --> 01:06:18,345
It's hard to know when my
breakdown officially happened.
1374
01:06:18,378 --> 01:06:20,147
Was it that moment
I answered the front door
1375
01:06:20,180 --> 01:06:21,515
and made Peyton up in my mind?
1376
01:06:21,548 --> 01:06:22,784
Hi.
1377
01:06:22,817 --> 01:06:24,384
Was it that moment
Ashley left me
1378
01:06:24,418 --> 01:06:26,320
for our couples therapist,
Dr. Wilbon?
1379
01:06:30,591 --> 01:06:32,794
Or was it something
that was years in the making.
1380
01:06:32,827 --> 01:06:36,764
Yes, yes.
That's his soul mate, yes!
1381
01:06:36,798 --> 01:06:39,166
Oh, God.
1382
01:06:39,199 --> 01:06:43,303
To be honest,
I'm not exactly sure.
1383
01:06:43,337 --> 01:06:45,740
But, look, the good news is
I'm working on getting better.
1384
01:06:45,773 --> 01:06:48,408
Working really, really
freakin' hard.
1385
01:06:48,442 --> 01:06:49,911
Over the past year,
1386
01:06:49,944 --> 01:06:52,579
I've attended 323 love
addiction anonymous meetings.
1387
01:06:52,614 --> 01:06:55,549
- I got a sponsor.
- Yes, you're fucking crazy.
1388
01:06:55,582 --> 01:06:57,150
Wait until you see
who that is.
1389
01:06:57,184 --> 01:06:58,686
Crazy.
1390
01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:00,387
I've taken enough
anti-depressants
1391
01:07:00,420 --> 01:07:03,457
and anti-anxiety pills
to make Mona Lisa smile.
1392
01:07:03,490 --> 01:07:04,826
And, look, I've been
working out every day
1393
01:07:04,859 --> 01:07:07,361
so I can get my fair share
of endorphins.
1394
01:07:08,663 --> 01:07:10,464
It's crazy, right?
1395
01:07:10,497 --> 01:07:12,399
I've even begun meditating,
for crying out loud.
1396
01:07:16,904 --> 01:07:21,174
What the fuck, Mom? I told you
I would call you back.
1397
01:07:21,208 --> 01:07:24,812
Oh, hey, Father O'Connor?
How's it hangin'?
1398
01:07:24,846 --> 01:07:27,347
And my sudden lack of issues
1399
01:07:27,381 --> 01:07:29,549
have vastly improved
Dr. Naik's sleep intake.
1400
01:07:31,218 --> 01:07:32,720
Doc?
1401
01:07:32,754 --> 01:07:35,355
I'm doing some more
adulting these days.
1402
01:07:35,389 --> 01:07:37,591
Like watering the plants.
1403
01:07:37,625 --> 01:07:41,561
And, now I'm purchasing
wine in bottles.
1404
01:07:41,595 --> 01:07:43,798
And I've upgraded
from the microwave,
1405
01:07:43,831 --> 01:07:48,268
to the stove and the oven.
1406
01:07:48,301 --> 01:07:49,671
And Paul and I
are living together now.
1407
01:07:49,704 --> 01:07:51,338
Dude, where are you going?
1408
01:07:51,371 --> 01:07:52,740
It's the only way
he could make sure
1409
01:07:52,774 --> 01:07:54,341
I didn't have
a female roommate.
1410
01:07:54,374 --> 01:07:55,475
- Why are you so sensitive?
- Fuck you, Greg!
1411
01:07:56,778 --> 01:07:58,311
And I actually did
have a mature,
1412
01:07:58,345 --> 01:08:00,615
adult conversation
with Ashley.
1413
01:08:00,648 --> 01:08:02,784
- For real this time.
- That was not...
1414
01:08:02,817 --> 01:08:04,217
And I got some
really nice closure.
1415
01:08:04,251 --> 01:08:05,352
...a good moment for you.
1416
01:08:05,385 --> 01:08:06,921
And to top that all off,
1417
01:08:06,954 --> 01:08:07,989
I've been drinking
a Los Angelan amount
1418
01:08:08,022 --> 01:08:09,957
of green juice smoothies.
1419
01:08:09,991 --> 01:08:11,626
Which you can presume
reminds me of you-know-who
1420
01:08:11,659 --> 01:08:13,226
every time I drink one.
1421
01:08:13,260 --> 01:08:15,395
Yeah, are you a Broncos fan?
1422
01:08:15,429 --> 01:08:17,765
Oh, God, there she is, huh?
1423
01:08:17,799 --> 01:08:19,533
The one and only gorgeous,
Peyton.
1424
01:08:19,566 --> 01:08:22,469
Man, she was awesome,
wasn't she?
1425
01:08:22,502 --> 01:08:24,806
I totally concur.
1426
01:08:24,839 --> 01:08:27,274
And look, I promise you
however disappointed
1427
01:08:27,307 --> 01:08:28,776
you are right now
that she wasn't real,
1428
01:08:28,810 --> 01:08:30,978
I am exponentially
more upset about it.
1429
01:08:31,012 --> 01:08:32,714
You have to admit,
1430
01:08:32,747 --> 01:08:33,881
I might just have
some potential as a writer
1431
01:08:33,915 --> 01:08:35,750
after all, right?
1432
01:08:35,783 --> 01:08:37,284
I mean, I did create her
in my mind, didn't I?
1433
01:08:39,687 --> 01:08:41,521
And I used this whole
crazy experience
1434
01:08:41,555 --> 01:08:43,791
for creative inspiration,
and I started writing again.
1435
01:08:43,825 --> 01:08:45,492
I actually wrote
a short story called,
1436
01:08:45,525 --> 01:08:48,428
Poor Greg Drowning:
The Story of a Love Addict.
1437
01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:50,397
It was recently published
in a local magazine,
1438
01:08:50,430 --> 01:08:54,035
and now, it's being adapted
into an animated miniseries.
1439
01:08:54,068 --> 01:08:55,737
It's officially
been a year
1440
01:08:55,770 --> 01:08:58,505
since I was violently
thrashing rock bottom.
1441
01:08:58,538 --> 01:09:00,540
And I'm hosting a little
shindig at the casa
1442
01:09:00,574 --> 01:09:02,509
de Paul and Greg tonight
to celebrate.
1443
01:09:02,542 --> 01:09:04,311
And you're all invited.
1444
01:09:04,344 --> 01:09:07,014
So I'll see you there
in three, two, one...
1445
01:09:09,984 --> 01:09:11,719
I still can't believe
you guys are dating.
1446
01:09:11,753 --> 01:09:13,955
What can I say?
She's got the best perennials
1447
01:09:13,988 --> 01:09:15,823
on the entire block.
1448
01:09:15,857 --> 01:09:17,557
Right, that's what it is.
1449
01:09:17,591 --> 01:09:19,627
No, seriously, Miss D,
I need to know.
1450
01:09:19,660 --> 01:09:21,929
What's your secret to sprouting
those gorgeous flush perennials
1451
01:09:21,963 --> 01:09:24,632
in this crippling drought?
1452
01:09:24,665 --> 01:09:26,901
Okay, if you must know...
1453
01:09:30,437 --> 01:09:31,906
You boys have fun.
1454
01:09:31,939 --> 01:09:34,842
Wow, that's incredible.
1455
01:09:34,876 --> 01:09:38,311
Listen, bro.
I am really proud of you.
1456
01:09:38,345 --> 01:09:40,480
You had some major issues
1457
01:09:40,514 --> 01:09:43,517
and you nutted up,
faced 'em like a man.
1458
01:09:43,550 --> 01:09:44,652
Congrats, my brother.
1459
01:09:44,685 --> 01:09:47,822
Thanks, man.
1460
01:09:47,855 --> 01:09:49,023
Should we hug it out?
1461
01:09:49,056 --> 01:09:51,291
Sure.
1462
01:09:53,694 --> 01:09:55,362
- All right
- Mm.
1463
01:10:03,137 --> 01:10:07,407
I want to second what our wise
young friend just said here.
1464
01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:11,478
You've come a long way, Greg.
I'm very, very proud of you.
1465
01:10:11,511 --> 01:10:13,981
Aw. Holy shit.
You two?
1466
01:10:14,015 --> 01:10:15,016
Congrats!
1467
01:10:15,049 --> 01:10:16,851
Thank you.
1468
01:10:16,884 --> 01:10:19,486
I'm so happy
and proud for you.
1469
01:10:19,519 --> 01:10:21,923
Listen, he may have
put a ring on it,
1470
01:10:21,956 --> 01:10:24,725
but I've still got a list
with your name on it,
1471
01:10:24,759 --> 01:10:29,462
just in case you're ever
feeling a little inspired.
1472
01:10:29,496 --> 01:10:32,900
All right, wow.
Thank you.
1473
01:10:35,069 --> 01:10:36,503
I'll catch you guys
in just a little bit.
1474
01:10:38,572 --> 01:10:42,777
You smell so good.
1475
01:10:42,810 --> 01:10:45,412
And what's your name?
1476
01:10:45,445 --> 01:10:46,781
I'm Paul.
1477
01:10:51,418 --> 01:10:52,887
- There he is!
- Hey
1478
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:55,089
Hey!
Oh, it's so good.
1479
01:10:55,122 --> 01:10:57,457
Gregorino!
1480
01:10:57,490 --> 01:10:59,060
- Hi.
- Okay. Okay, let go.
1481
01:10:59,093 --> 01:11:01,028
- Mm-hmm. 'Kay.
- Now sit.
1482
01:11:01,062 --> 01:11:03,030
'Kay.
How are you feeling?
1483
01:11:03,064 --> 01:11:04,665
Yeah, really good, actually.
Yeah.
1484
01:11:04,699 --> 01:11:07,001
That's great.
So, did you talk to Ashley?
1485
01:11:07,034 --> 01:11:08,703
Yeah, she's been really
supportive through all this.
1486
01:11:08,736 --> 01:11:11,404
And I think taking the time
really made me realize
1487
01:11:11,438 --> 01:11:13,174
what I was doing wrong
in the relationship
1488
01:11:13,207 --> 01:11:15,009
and why she did what she did.
1489
01:11:15,042 --> 01:11:17,612
Not that that's an excuse,
but it's not all her fault.
1490
01:11:17,645 --> 01:11:18,946
No way.
She's a bitch.
1491
01:11:18,980 --> 01:11:21,716
That's her fault.
1492
01:11:21,749 --> 01:11:22,917
- Dan.
- Right?
1493
01:11:22,950 --> 01:11:25,552
No.
I'm really proud of you.
1494
01:11:25,585 --> 01:11:26,787
It's not easy
to look in the mirror
1495
01:11:26,821 --> 01:11:29,090
- and examine your own self.
- Yeah.
1496
01:11:29,123 --> 01:11:30,691
Have you had any more
of those hallucinations?
1497
01:11:30,725 --> 01:11:32,960
Yeah, I have.
Oh, Gregarino?
1498
01:11:32,994 --> 01:11:34,896
- Not you.
- Nope.
1499
01:11:34,929 --> 01:11:36,596
- That's great.
- Yeah.
1500
01:11:36,631 --> 01:11:40,034
It's so weird though
because she was so real.
1501
01:11:40,067 --> 01:11:41,769
I know, but you remember
what they said.
1502
01:11:41,802 --> 01:11:43,004
That can be common
when you're going through
1503
01:11:43,037 --> 01:11:45,006
- that sort of thing.
- Yeah. I know.
1504
01:11:45,039 --> 01:11:49,576
Could she open a door
on her own?
1505
01:11:49,610 --> 01:11:51,112
No, it wasn't real.
1506
01:11:51,145 --> 01:11:53,480
It's a hallu...
1507
01:11:53,513 --> 01:11:56,117
Just have... stop.
1508
01:11:56,150 --> 01:11:57,450
There's that pussy boy!
1509
01:11:57,484 --> 01:12:00,788
Aw, my Trojan warrior!
Ah!
1510
01:12:00,821 --> 01:12:04,892
I still can't believe that
you're Greg's sponsor, Hector.
1511
01:12:04,926 --> 01:12:07,094
Who would have thought? Universe
works in mysterious ways.
1512
01:12:07,128 --> 01:12:09,063
- You are not kidding.
- I am not.
1513
01:12:09,096 --> 01:12:11,799
What a funny, funny world!
1514
01:12:14,135 --> 01:12:17,537
I'm just happy this soldier's
back on the squad.
1515
01:12:17,570 --> 01:12:20,141
Yeah, thanks, man.
1516
01:12:20,174 --> 01:12:23,911
Oh, shit!
No they didn't!
1517
01:12:23,945 --> 01:12:26,681
- Hi!
- Hey, Mom!
1518
01:12:26,714 --> 01:12:29,250
There's your Mom
and her female lover.
1519
01:12:29,283 --> 01:12:30,785
Right?
1520
01:12:30,818 --> 01:12:33,821
- You look great.
- Yeah, thanks, so do you!
1521
01:12:33,854 --> 01:12:36,523
And this place, wow,
it's incredible!
1522
01:12:36,556 --> 01:12:37,892
I know, right?
I'm all, living with Paul
1523
01:12:37,925 --> 01:12:39,760
certainly has its perks.
1524
01:12:39,794 --> 01:12:42,697
- Which one's his mom?
- That's my mom!
1525
01:12:42,730 --> 01:12:44,531
So, how's my favorite broad
in the whole wide world doing?
1526
01:12:44,564 --> 01:12:45,733
I am doing great.
1527
01:12:45,766 --> 01:12:47,902
I may or may not have engineered
1528
01:12:47,935 --> 01:12:50,071
a quick little pit stop
at the old In-N-Out
1529
01:12:50,104 --> 01:12:52,239
- on the way here.
- Oh, shit!
1530
01:12:52,273 --> 01:12:54,909
- Animal style!?
- It's the only way.
1531
01:12:54,942 --> 01:12:57,178
Unh!
1532
01:12:57,211 --> 01:12:58,612
I'm sorry, Mary Jane!
1533
01:12:58,646 --> 01:12:59,981
How's my favorite
step-mom doing?
1534
01:13:00,014 --> 01:13:01,882
She is doing great,
sweetheart.
1535
01:13:01,916 --> 01:13:04,551
- Oh, it's good to see you.
- Oh, it's good to see you, too.
1536
01:13:04,584 --> 01:13:06,220
Although, I have to admit,
I am a little queasy
1537
01:13:06,253 --> 01:13:08,856
from the drive,
your mother on the 405.
1538
01:13:08,889 --> 01:13:09,991
The woman drives
like a battle axe.
1539
01:13:10,024 --> 01:13:12,026
Would you hush it up, MJ?
1540
01:13:12,059 --> 01:13:16,230
I love riling you up.
Isn't she the cutest?
1541
01:13:16,263 --> 01:13:19,532
- She sure is.
- And Father O'Connor!
1542
01:13:19,566 --> 01:13:21,736
How is my favorite man
of the big man upstairs doing!?
1543
01:13:24,705 --> 01:13:27,074
How many times do I have
to tell you, Greg?
1544
01:13:27,108 --> 01:13:28,575
I'm not a Father.
I'm a Rabbi.
1545
01:13:28,609 --> 01:13:29,810
I'm Jewish.
1546
01:13:29,844 --> 01:13:31,112
Well, bless you either way.
1547
01:13:31,145 --> 01:13:32,913
Thank you.
1548
01:13:32,947 --> 01:13:34,715
All right, I'm gonna go outside
and get some fresh air.
1549
01:13:34,749 --> 01:13:36,250
- You want some company?
- No, no, it's okay.
1550
01:13:36,283 --> 01:13:37,785
You guys, you guys...
I'll just be a second.
1551
01:13:37,818 --> 01:13:39,220
- You guys go mingle.
- All righty.
1552
01:13:39,253 --> 01:13:43,724
We'll go say hi to Jules
and her odd boyfriend.
1553
01:13:43,758 --> 01:13:45,259
Mr. Stiffy.
1554
01:13:45,292 --> 01:13:46,293
One would hope.
1555
01:14:18,626 --> 01:14:22,096
Peyton?