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1
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♪ ♪

2
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:38,320

3
00:00:38,975 --> 00:00:41,411
CHRIS WALLACE: <i>Good evening.
I welcome you to the third</i>

4
00:00:41,444 --> 00:00:43,646
<i>and final of the 2016
presidential debates.</i>

5
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,949
DONALD TRUMP: <i>We either have
a country, or we don't.</i>

6
00:00:45,982 --> 00:00:47,717
HILLARY CLINTON: <i>Rounding up
people who are undocumented...</i>

7
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:48,852
TRUMP:
<i>We have some bad hombres here.</i>

8
00:00:48,885 --> 00:00:50,254
CLINTON: <i>...is an idea
that is not in keeping</i>

9
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:52,789
- <i>with who we are as a nation.</i>
- TRUMP: <i>I tell it like it is.</i>

10
00:00:52,822 --> 00:00:54,657
CLINTON: <i>I'm happy to compare
my 30 years of experience...</i>

11
00:00:54,691 --> 00:00:55,758
TRUMP:
<i>The one thing you have</i>

12
00:00:55,792 --> 00:00:57,694
<i>over me is experience,
but it's bad experience.</i>

13
00:00:57,727 --> 00:00:59,662
<i>We are going to make
America great again,</i>

14
00:00:59,696 --> 00:01:01,631
<i>and it has to start now.</i>

15
00:01:01,664 --> 00:01:03,466
CLINTON: <i>I hope you will
give me a chance</i>

16
00:01:03,499 --> 00:01:04,901
<i>to serve as your president.</i>

17
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,970
FAITH: <i>Donald Trump
told the American people</i>

18
00:01:07,003 --> 00:01:09,639
<i>the truth tonight,
as he always does.</i>

19
00:01:09,672 --> 00:01:11,975
GARY: <i>Hillary Clinton
is the real outsider.</i>

20
00:01:12,008 --> 00:01:14,477
Look, whatever you think
you saw tonight...

21
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,512
You didn't.
You actually saw what I saw,

22
00:01:16,546 --> 00:01:17,780
and I think that
the American people...

23
00:01:17,814 --> 00:01:18,781
Would agree with me.

24
00:01:18,815 --> 00:01:20,817
As long as I say it
repeatedly, doggedly...

25
00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:23,186
And with unearned confidence.

26
00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:25,488
I lie.

27
00:01:25,521 --> 00:01:26,756
I am lying to you.

28
00:01:26,789 --> 00:01:27,824
And you know I lie.

29
00:01:27,857 --> 00:01:29,525
I'm actually in this position

30
00:01:29,559 --> 00:01:31,895
because of how effectively
I lie to you.

31
00:01:31,928 --> 00:01:33,463
Are we clear?

32
00:01:33,496 --> 00:01:34,964
We call this the spin room,
without shame.

33
00:01:34,998 --> 00:01:37,934
Spinning is something you do
to disorient people.

34
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,637
And you all know that,
and yet here we are.

35
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:42,572
What a wonderful play
we're putting on.

36
00:01:42,605 --> 00:01:43,907
Thank you all so much.

37
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:45,475
And fuck you, America.

38
00:01:45,508 --> 00:01:47,577
I look forward to lying to you
in the future.

39
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:48,745
See you at the bar.

40
00:01:48,778 --> 00:01:50,947
- (reporters clamoring)
- Thank you.

41
00:01:55,919 --> 00:01:57,954
- (explosive blast)
- (grunts)

42
00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:09,933
♪ ♪

43
00:02:09,966 --> 00:02:11,235
LESTER HOLT:
Shockwaves across America.

44
00:02:11,268 --> 00:02:12,602
NORAH O'DONNELL:
His surprise victory

45
00:02:12,635 --> 00:02:13,803
defied preelection polling.

46
00:02:13,836 --> 00:02:15,004
JOHN HEILEMANN:
Tectonic-plate-shifting,

47
00:02:15,038 --> 00:02:16,806
9.5 on the Richter scale
earthquake.

48
00:02:16,839 --> 00:02:18,242
JOE SCARBOROUGH:
So that's just a snapshot

49
00:02:18,275 --> 00:02:19,742
of the reaction
we're getting this morning.

50
00:02:19,776 --> 00:02:21,010
And we're still trying to get

51
00:02:21,044 --> 00:02:23,646
our good old pal Gary Zimmer
to talk to us.

52
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,648
MIKA BRZEZINSKI: He's probably
halfway to Canada by now.

53
00:02:25,682 --> 00:02:27,550
SCARBOROUGH: Yeah,
maybe halfway to Canadian Club.

54
00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:29,953
I'd love to ask this guy
what the hell he was thinking.

55
00:02:29,986 --> 00:02:31,955
How did they blow
this election?

56
00:02:31,988 --> 00:02:34,023
- (Brzezinski chuckles)
- Hey, guys, did you find the clip?

57
00:02:34,057 --> 00:02:35,692
You got it? Okay.

58
00:02:35,725 --> 00:02:37,527
This is our good friend
Gary Zimmer,

59
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,963
grand old consigliere
of the Clinton campaign,

60
00:02:39,996 --> 00:02:42,966
not even a week ago
on this program.

61
00:02:42,999 --> 00:02:44,867
- (whooshing sound effect)
- So, you're confident?

62
00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:46,102
GARY (recorded):
Oh, no question.

63
00:02:46,135 --> 00:02:47,837
Hillary's made her case.

64
00:02:47,870 --> 00:02:50,840
She is the most qualified
presidential candidate,

65
00:02:50,873 --> 00:02:52,575
certainly in my lifetime,
maybe ever.

66
00:02:52,608 --> 00:02:54,278
BRZEZINSKI: Donald Trump
will not be president.

67
00:02:54,311 --> 00:02:56,746
GARY: Well, he is
doing well in the South,

68
00:02:56,779 --> 00:02:59,515
so maybe he can be president
of the Confederacy.

69
00:02:59,549 --> 00:03:01,718
BRZEZINSKI: But Ohio,
Michigan, Pennsylvania.

70
00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:03,553
GARY: Mika, he's not winning
Pennsylvania.

71
00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:04,887
He's not winning Michigan.

72
00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:07,857
That rust belt blue wall
is impenetrable. It holds.

73
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,092
(Southern accent):
I guarantee.

74
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:10,827
BRZEZINSKI:
Well, you decided to spend

75
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,296
almost no time there
campaigning.

76
00:03:12,329 --> 00:03:13,896
SCARBOROUGH:
Was that a Carville impression?

77
00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,732
- (Brzezinski chuckles)
- All right, so wait a minute.

78
00:03:15,765 --> 00:03:17,600
- Tommy, try Gary again.
- GARY (in room): Google, off.

79
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,569
SCARBOROUGH: Okay, we have
Faith Brewster on the line...

80
00:03:19,602 --> 00:03:20,703
GARY:
Hey, Google, off.

81
00:03:20,737 --> 00:03:22,605
GOOGLE: Sorry. Power controls
is not yet supported.

82
00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:24,107
- (phone ringing)
- GARY: Phone lady, decline.

83
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,142
- PHONE: Try asking again in a different way.
- GARY: Ugh.

84
00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:28,745
Hang up. Hey, Google,
tell phone lady to hang up.

85
00:03:28,778 --> 00:03:30,747
GOOGLE: Sorry, I'm not sure
how to help with that yet.

86
00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:32,715
- GARY: Off, off!
- PHONE: Sorry, I'm still not sure about that.

87
00:03:32,749 --> 00:03:33,850
GARY:
Hey, Google, disengage.

88
00:03:33,883 --> 00:03:34,984
- GOOGLE: Songs aren't available on SiriusXM.
- Abort.

89
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:36,253
- PHONE: I'm not sure about that.
- Everybody, shut up!

90
00:03:36,286 --> 00:03:38,888
- PHONE: Try asking again in a different way.
- (Gary grunts)

91
00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:41,924
("Still the Same" by Bob Segerpl

92
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,776
♪ You always won ♪

93
00:03:59,809 --> 00:04:02,678
♪ Every time you placed a bet ♪

94
00:04:05,048 --> 00:04:07,550
♪ You're still damn good ♪

95
00:04:08,818 --> 00:04:11,554
♪ No one's gotten to you yet ♪

96
00:04:13,923 --> 00:04:15,925
♪ Every time ♪

97
00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:19,729
♪ They were sure
they had you caught ♪

98
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:23,566
♪ You were quicker
than they thought ♪

99
00:04:24,934 --> 00:04:29,138
♪ You'd just turn your back
and walk ♪

100
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:32,675
♪ And you're still the same ♪

101
00:04:32,708 --> 00:04:35,144
♪ I caught up with you
yesterday ♪

102
00:04:35,178 --> 00:04:37,914
♪ Still the same,
still the same ♪

103
00:04:37,947 --> 00:04:39,949
♪ Moving game to game ♪

104
00:04:41,251 --> 00:04:44,720
♪ No one standing in your way ♪

105
00:04:45,988 --> 00:04:50,227
♪ Turning on the charm
long enough ♪

106
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:51,994
♪ To get you by ♪

107
00:04:52,028 --> 00:04:53,896
♪ Still the same ♪

108
00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:55,064
♪ Still the same ♪

109
00:04:55,098 --> 00:04:57,700
♪ You're still the same ♪

110
00:04:58,868 --> 00:05:03,873
♪ You still aim high ♪

111
00:05:08,278 --> 00:05:12,014
♪ Still the same,
still the same ♪

112
00:05:16,152 --> 00:05:19,755
(fading): ♪ Still the same,
still the same. ♪

113
00:05:19,789 --> 00:05:21,791
(birds chirping)

114
00:05:32,802 --> 00:05:34,804
(scrubbing hands)

115
00:05:42,712 --> 00:05:44,013
(water splashing)

116
00:05:44,046 --> 00:05:48,885
♪ There's been a load
of compromisin' ♪

117
00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:53,156
♪ On the road to my horizon ♪

118
00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:56,192
♪ But I'm gonna be
where the lights ♪

119
00:05:56,226 --> 00:06:00,297
♪ Are shinin' on me ♪

120
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:03,933
♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪

121
00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:10,907
♪ Riding out on a horse
in a star-spangled rodeo ♪

122
00:06:12,909 --> 00:06:15,745
♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪

123
00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:23,119
♪ Getting cards and letters
from people I don't even know ♪

124
00:06:24,954 --> 00:06:29,926
♪ And offers comin'
over the phone. ♪

125
00:06:32,329 --> 00:06:34,697
(song fades)

126
00:06:36,966 --> 00:06:39,203
MAYOR BRAUN: <i>So, if there is
no further discussion,</i>

127
00:06:39,236 --> 00:06:42,272
<i>can I get a motion to vote
on Resolution 1217,</i>

128
00:06:42,306 --> 00:06:45,942
requiring a valid
Wisconsin driver's license

129
00:06:45,975 --> 00:06:48,945
or proof of U.S. citizenship
to qualify

130
00:06:48,978 --> 00:06:52,114
for any state or municipality
program or benefit,

131
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:55,985
such as food stamps, welfare
and so on and so forth.

132
00:06:56,018 --> 00:06:57,153
PIETKOWSKI:
So moved.

133
00:06:57,186 --> 00:06:58,222
- Second?
- MAN: Second.

134
00:06:58,255 --> 00:06:59,956
I have a second.
It is time...

135
00:06:59,989 --> 00:07:01,891
- Excuse me, fellas.
- Jack, I already told you,

136
00:07:01,924 --> 00:07:03,360
you can widen that easement
on Hamburg...

137
00:07:03,393 --> 00:07:05,962
Um, actually, it's about

138
00:07:05,995 --> 00:07:08,232
that resolution
you're thinking about passing.

139
00:07:08,265 --> 00:07:11,268
With all due respect, Colonel,
that discussion has ended.

140
00:07:11,301 --> 00:07:13,102
Yeah, yeah. So I heard.

141
00:07:13,135 --> 00:07:15,037
But, uh...

142
00:07:15,071 --> 00:07:17,307
the thing is that, um...

143
00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:19,309
it's a bad idea.

144
00:07:19,343 --> 00:07:21,777
- Y-You can't...
- Uh, okay, well,

145
00:07:21,811 --> 00:07:23,247
I already seconded,
but whatever.

146
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,382
JACK: I know we're in
a bad spot, but...

147
00:07:25,415 --> 00:07:27,083
you can't bring it back

148
00:07:27,116 --> 00:07:29,118
by throwing these people
under the bus.

149
00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:31,887
Whoa, we're not throwing
anybody under anything, Jack.

150
00:07:31,921 --> 00:07:33,357
(sighs)
Money was tight

151
00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:36,058
when the base was still open,
but now...

152
00:07:36,092 --> 00:07:37,994
I mean, we just
got to be smart.

153
00:07:38,027 --> 00:07:39,996
We got to eliminate
cheating the programs.

154
00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:42,332
There's not a damn soul
using those programs

155
00:07:42,366 --> 00:07:44,268
that doesn't need 'em,
and you know it.

156
00:07:44,301 --> 00:07:47,237
And all they need to do
is produce the acceptable I.D.,

157
00:07:47,271 --> 00:07:48,572
and the benefits will be...

158
00:07:48,605 --> 00:07:50,340
And you know
they can't do that.

159
00:07:50,374 --> 00:07:53,210
Well... (sighs)
I don't make the rules, Jack.

160
00:07:55,011 --> 00:07:57,113
I mean, I do, I guess.

161
00:07:57,146 --> 00:08:00,217
Not by myself, but...
this is over.

162
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,019
(grunts)

163
00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:05,222
BRAUN: Okay, we have a motion
that has been seconded.

164
00:08:05,255 --> 00:08:07,291
It is time to bring it
to a vote.

165
00:08:07,324 --> 00:08:09,125
Uh, you know, uh,
just curious...

166
00:08:09,158 --> 00:08:11,328
you know,
when the river backed up

167
00:08:11,361 --> 00:08:13,297
and the folks
you think might be cheating

168
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:15,831
stood shoulder to shoulder
with us

169
00:08:15,865 --> 00:08:19,303
stuffing sandbags
for three days straight,

170
00:08:19,336 --> 00:08:22,306
ended up saving your store,
you check their I.D.'s then?

171
00:08:22,339 --> 00:08:24,040
BRAUN:
Discussion's closed, Jack.

172
00:08:24,073 --> 00:08:25,941
You checking I.D.'s
when they're bringing food

173
00:08:25,975 --> 00:08:28,077
- to the church potlucks, Walt?
- (gavel slamming)

174
00:08:29,145 --> 00:08:30,414
Enough, Jack.

175
00:08:30,447 --> 00:08:32,215
You had your say.

176
00:08:34,183 --> 00:08:35,985
(sets down gavel)

177
00:08:36,018 --> 00:08:37,987
Look, we got rules here,

178
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,623
but that don't make us
bad people.

179
00:08:39,656 --> 00:08:42,058
I'm not saying
you're a bad person, Billy.

180
00:08:42,091 --> 00:08:44,294
I'm saying you're scared.

181
00:08:44,328 --> 00:08:46,396
Hell, we all are.

182
00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:51,000
Damn town went from 15,000
to five overnight,

183
00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:53,135
and business went with it.

184
00:08:53,169 --> 00:08:56,972
We're not bringing it back
by... by turning on each other.

185
00:08:57,973 --> 00:08:59,343
Corps taught me the chain's

186
00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:01,944
only as strong
as its weakest link.

187
00:09:01,977 --> 00:09:04,914
And Father Heuvel here

188
00:09:04,947 --> 00:09:07,083
taught me that I am
my brother's keeper.

189
00:09:07,116 --> 00:09:08,951
GARY: Wait. Go back
to that "weak link" part.

190
00:09:08,984 --> 00:09:11,120
Whatever you do for the least
of us, you do for the Lord.

191
00:09:11,153 --> 00:09:12,289
- EVAN: Yeah, okay. Yeah.
- (mouse clicking)

192
00:09:12,322 --> 00:09:14,123
I mean, could this guy work?

193
00:09:14,156 --> 00:09:15,425
Corps taught me the chain's

194
00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:17,893
only as strong
as its weakest link.

195
00:09:17,927 --> 00:09:19,329
Hmm. Pretty good.

196
00:09:19,363 --> 00:09:21,931
- EVAN: Mm-hmm.
- JACK: And Father Heuvel here

197
00:09:21,964 --> 00:09:24,166
taught me that I am
my brother's keeper.

198
00:09:24,201 --> 00:09:27,002
Whatever you do for the least
of us, you do for the Lord.

199
00:09:27,036 --> 00:09:29,306
GARY: Looks conservative,
sounds progressive.

200
00:09:29,339 --> 00:09:32,041
- EVAN: Mm-hmm.
- JACK: The point is,

201
00:09:32,074 --> 00:09:36,112
it's easy to be strong
of character in the good times.

202
00:09:36,145 --> 00:09:38,448
The test is the bad times.

203
00:09:38,482 --> 00:09:41,685
If you can't live
your principles then, well...

204
00:09:41,718 --> 00:09:45,020
I guess they aren't principles;
they're just hobbies.

205
00:09:46,323 --> 00:09:47,457
Where is this again?

206
00:09:47,491 --> 00:09:48,924
Wisconsin.

207
00:09:48,958 --> 00:09:51,093
Deerlaken.

208
00:09:51,127 --> 00:09:53,530
- Deerlaken.
- Mm-hmm.

209
00:09:53,563 --> 00:09:55,131
Gentlemen...

210
00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:57,933
this square-jawed paragon
of Americana

211
00:09:57,967 --> 00:10:02,037
is our goddamn key
back into the forbidden city.

212
00:10:02,071 --> 00:10:03,939
- Well, that's my stop. (laughs)
- Sit. Kurt, sit.

213
00:10:03,973 --> 00:10:05,308
- Call me when he gets to the point.
- Nope.

214
00:10:05,342 --> 00:10:06,443
You're not going anywhere.
No, sit.

215
00:10:06,476 --> 00:10:07,943
And we have Alan to thank

216
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:09,713
for bringing this man
to our attention.

217
00:10:09,746 --> 00:10:12,215
- It's Evan.
- Did I happen to mention that

218
00:10:12,249 --> 00:10:14,217
he is a veteran of
the United States Marine Corps?

219
00:10:14,251 --> 00:10:16,253
- OTHERS: Yes.
- And a farmer.

220
00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:17,320
- Um... you did.
- MAN: I believe so.

221
00:10:17,354 --> 00:10:19,088
And did I happen to mention
that he's a widower?

222
00:10:19,121 --> 00:10:19,989
- Impressive.
- All right. Well done.

223
00:10:20,022 --> 00:10:21,324
GARY:
A man who makes Joe the Plumber

224
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:23,025
look like Dukakis in mom jeans

225
00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:24,994
- and a fucking Easter bonnet...
- (laughter)

226
00:10:25,027 --> 00:10:26,430
in the reddest of counties

227
00:10:26,463 --> 00:10:29,566
- in the great now swing state of Wisconsin...
- Mm-hmm.

228
00:10:29,599 --> 00:10:31,033
...is...

229
00:10:32,335 --> 00:10:34,337
...a Democrat.

230
00:10:34,371 --> 00:10:36,172
Uh, he's a Democrat?

231
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:37,441
Yeah.

232
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:39,409
He just doesn't know it yet.

233
00:10:39,443 --> 00:10:41,511
Well, here's the idea:
I get on a plane,

234
00:10:41,545 --> 00:10:44,414
and I go to Wisconsin,
and I use this guy

235
00:10:44,448 --> 00:10:47,317
to road-test a more
rural-friendly message.

236
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:50,554
It's a mayoral race...
in the middle of nowhere.

237
00:10:50,587 --> 00:10:52,456
Uh, I don't get
how this helps us.

238
00:10:52,489 --> 00:10:55,124
There are two million rural
votes in these states alone.

239
00:10:55,157 --> 00:10:57,227
If we lost them 2.7 to one
instead of three to one,

240
00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:59,396
we'd win,
but we didn't even try.

241
00:10:59,429 --> 00:11:01,096
Their base turned out.
Ours didn't.

242
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:04,133
If we find a candidate
to activate our base...

243
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:07,169
if our African Americans

244
00:11:07,204 --> 00:11:08,338
(heavily accented):
and Latino communities...

245
00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:09,339
It's just "Latino."

246
00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:11,541
...show up, we win.

247
00:11:11,575 --> 00:11:14,076
We have to get the rural voters
back into the tent,

248
00:11:14,109 --> 00:11:15,212
even just a little bit.

249
00:11:15,245 --> 00:11:16,780
Well, if it's all
the same to you,

250
00:11:16,813 --> 00:11:17,914
I'll stick with pandering

251
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:22,285
to our special-interest groups,
thank you very much.

252
00:11:22,319 --> 00:11:26,490
GROUP (chanting):
<i>Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede.</i>

253
00:11:26,523 --> 00:11:29,493
- <i>Sí, se...</i>
- I like the idea of expanding our base.

254
00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:32,496
Not taking any voter
for granted.

255
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:34,798
It does have some merit.

256
00:11:34,831 --> 00:11:37,066
♪ ♪

257
00:11:38,335 --> 00:11:39,101
WOMAN: Good morning.
Gary Zimmer's office.

258
00:11:39,134 --> 00:11:40,370
ASSISTANT:
Okay, so we'll make sure

259
00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:42,037
a car comes here
and picks you up,

260
00:11:42,071 --> 00:11:43,507
- and we'll make sure the driver is Frank.
- Okay.

261
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:45,107
Um, it's a two-hour flight,

262
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:46,543
but you'll gain an hour
when you get there.

263
00:11:46,576 --> 00:11:49,279
- (sighs) What is that?
- The 7 Series.

264
00:11:49,312 --> 00:11:52,047
It was the closest thing
they had to your Tesla, but...

265
00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:54,083
Just take a Sharpie, and write
"liberal city douchebag"

266
00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:55,252
on my forehead, okay?

267
00:11:55,285 --> 00:11:56,586
- Come on, guys.
- Yeah.

268
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,255
Um, Accord?

269
00:11:58,288 --> 00:11:59,556
I'm traveling to America.

270
00:11:59,589 --> 00:12:01,525
Explorer, neutral color.

271
00:12:01,558 --> 00:12:03,192
And pack me like a conference.

272
00:12:03,226 --> 00:12:04,294
Davos? TED?

273
00:12:04,327 --> 00:12:05,829
Aspen, weekend package.

274
00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:07,330
- Thank you.
- Great.

275
00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:08,532
Oh, and, guys, you know what?

276
00:12:08,565 --> 00:12:10,267
Keep it simple.

277
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,401
Simple. No frills.

278
00:12:11,434 --> 00:12:12,602
- Thank you.
- Got it. - Sure.

279
00:12:12,636 --> 00:12:14,136
Great.

280
00:12:14,169 --> 00:12:16,606
Although, if the Explorer
has a-a Bose

281
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,408
or a Bang & Olufsen
sound package,

282
00:12:18,441 --> 00:12:20,343
if they have it...
(clicks tongue) it'd be good.

283
00:12:20,377 --> 00:12:22,546
- Great.
- Gotcha.

284
00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:25,114
Did they say anything
about catering?

285
00:12:25,147 --> 00:12:26,416
Not yet.

286
00:12:26,449 --> 00:12:28,117
Those little mozzarella balls
would be great.

287
00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:29,386
- Yeah?
- Caprese salad.

288
00:12:29,419 --> 00:12:30,687
- Something light. Balsamic.
- Yeah, just...

289
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,255
Balsamic, all that jazz?

290
00:12:32,289 --> 00:12:33,623
Cool.

291
00:12:37,527 --> 00:12:38,595
Nothing.

292
00:12:38,628 --> 00:12:40,129
- Cool.
- (Gary laughing)

293
00:12:40,162 --> 00:12:42,399
That's fun.

294
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,501
(sighs)

295
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:45,869
SPORTSCASTER:
He'll flip the short pass.

296
00:12:45,902 --> 00:12:47,604
Complete to Anderson.
He's at the 35.

297
00:12:47,637 --> 00:12:49,239
He moves to the 30-yard line...

298
00:12:49,272 --> 00:12:51,106
- Here you go, Mr. Zimmer.
- Oh, thank you.

299
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:52,409
NARRATOR (over TV):
Trailing by three points...

300
00:12:52,442 --> 00:12:53,710
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

301
00:12:53,743 --> 00:12:57,681
...with time running out,
the Packers roll 68 yards

302
00:12:57,714 --> 00:13:01,284
across the frozen field
and into legend.

303
00:13:01,318 --> 00:13:02,686
(dramatic music plays over TV)

304
00:13:02,719 --> 00:13:04,354
SPORTSCASTER: He flips
the pass. It's complete.

305
00:13:04,387 --> 00:13:06,323
To Chuck Mercein.
He's at the 25, the 20...

306
00:13:06,356 --> 00:13:08,525
NARRATOR: With only
three minutes to play,

307
00:13:08,558 --> 00:13:11,528
all the hopes and dreams
of an entire season

308
00:13:11,561 --> 00:13:14,196
rested on the shoulders
of one man.

309
00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:17,601
♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪

310
00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:22,305
♪ Riding out on a horse ♪

311
00:13:22,339 --> 00:13:26,209
♪ In a star-spangled rodeo ♪

312
00:13:26,242 --> 00:13:27,611
- ♪ Like a rhine... ♪
- (changes station)

313
00:13:27,644 --> 00:13:29,245
TERRY GROSS:
This is "Fresh Air."

314
00:13:29,279 --> 00:13:30,480
- I'm Terry Gross.
- (takes deep breath)

315
00:13:30,513 --> 00:13:31,615
Richard Rodgers
and Oscar Hammerstein

316
00:13:31,648 --> 00:13:33,717
had one of the most successful

317
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:36,386
musical partnerships
of the 20th century.

318
00:13:36,419 --> 00:13:39,356
TODD S. PURDUM: But I also
think it's-it's a canard

319
00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:41,224
that Hammerstein
can't write funny songs.

320
00:13:41,257 --> 00:13:42,659
GROSS:
She's got a beautiful voice,

321
00:13:42,692 --> 00:13:44,327
so let's hear her singing

322
00:13:44,361 --> 00:13:45,629
"Everybody's
Got a Home but Me."

323
00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:47,464
Will you set the scene for us

324
00:13:47,497 --> 00:13:49,666
about where this song fits
into the show?

325
00:13:49,699 --> 00:13:51,368
PURDUM:
Well, this young prostitute

326
00:13:51,401 --> 00:13:53,236
has just arrived in Monterey...

327
00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,506
(vehicle door opens, closes)

328
00:13:56,539 --> 00:13:58,541
(indistinct chatter)

329
00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:02,612
- (sighs)
- BARTENDER: Oh.

330
00:14:02,646 --> 00:14:04,314
- Evening.
- Hey.

331
00:14:04,347 --> 00:14:05,515
Hi. What can I get you?

332
00:14:05,548 --> 00:14:08,518
Uh, how about
a Bud and a burger?

333
00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:11,454
That sounds good.

334
00:14:11,488 --> 00:14:13,623
- Thank you so much.
- Sure thing.

335
00:14:13,657 --> 00:14:15,291
Coming up.

336
00:14:16,393 --> 00:14:17,427
- Hey, Charlie.
- (knocking)

337
00:14:21,231 --> 00:14:22,766
Tough day?

338
00:14:22,799 --> 00:14:25,268
- A long day, traveling.
- Oh, yeah?

339
00:14:25,301 --> 00:14:27,303
- Where from?
- Washington, D.C.

340
00:14:27,337 --> 00:14:29,539
Man, I ain't been there since,
like, a school trip.

341
00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:31,508
Can't even remember
how many years ago that was.

342
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:32,575
- It was 29. 29 years.
- Yeah?

343
00:14:32,609 --> 00:14:35,311
- Was it?
- 29 years. Ms. Heuvel's history class.

344
00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:36,680
- That's what it was. Ms. Heuvel's history class.
- Yeah.

345
00:14:36,713 --> 00:14:38,481
Security guards chased us out
of the Space Museum.

346
00:14:38,515 --> 00:14:40,684
Yeah, well, we beat the dog
shit out of those other kids.

347
00:14:40,717 --> 00:14:42,218
(laughter)

348
00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:43,486
Well, you guys aren't
missing anything.

349
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,422
It is a nightmare down there.

350
00:14:45,455 --> 00:14:47,290
- Huh. Yeah. (chuckles)
- Well, no argument there.

351
00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:49,359
- Yeah. You can say that again.
- Mm-hmm.

352
00:14:49,392 --> 00:14:51,594
- Mike Staadt.
- Hey.

353
00:14:51,628 --> 00:14:53,630
- We call him Big Mike.
- Yeah.

354
00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:55,432
People call me Big Mike
for some reason.

355
00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:57,267
Well, it's, uh, because...
to tell us apart.

356
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,402
Because I'm... my name's Mike,
too, but I'm Little Mike.

357
00:14:59,436 --> 00:15:00,704
Hey. How are you? Gary.

358
00:15:00,737 --> 00:15:02,772
- Nice to meet you.
- Gary, Gary.

359
00:15:02,806 --> 00:15:05,375
Gary from D.C.
D.C. Gary.

360
00:15:05,408 --> 00:15:07,343
BIG MIKE: He likes to give
everybody nicknames, so that's

361
00:15:07,377 --> 00:15:09,245
why he's-he's giving you
a nickname right now, which...

362
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:10,847
- (chuckles)
- It shows friendship and affection.

363
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,316
- Okay, yeah, but he doesn't...
- If you don't like yours,

364
00:15:13,349 --> 00:15:14,651
- I'll take it away.
- No, I'm fine with my nickname.

365
00:15:14,684 --> 00:15:15,585
Well, I appreciate it,
Little Mike.

366
00:15:15,618 --> 00:15:17,454
LITTLE MIKE:
Okay, thank you, D.C. Gary.

367
00:15:17,487 --> 00:15:18,855
Hey, this is our new friend,
D.C. Gary.

368
00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:20,657
- Hey. How are you?
- BARTENDER: Hey.

369
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:23,026
- Dave.
- My name is Gary, and I'm from D.C., so...

370
00:15:23,059 --> 00:15:24,027
- that works.
- Well, welcome to Deerlaken.

371
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:27,030
- Thank you.
- Ever been to Wisconsin before?

372
00:15:27,063 --> 00:15:28,765
Uh, spent a fair amount of time
in Madison.

373
00:15:28,798 --> 00:15:30,467
- So that's a no.
- (laughter)

374
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,835
- (chuckles)
- That's not Wisconsin.

375
00:15:31,868 --> 00:15:34,504
Actually, I'm here to see
Jack Hastings. You know him?

376
00:15:34,537 --> 00:15:36,606
- Oh, yeah. He's a great guy.
- Yeah, everybody knows Jack.

377
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:37,807
- The Colonel. Great guy.
- Semper fi.

378
00:15:37,841 --> 00:15:39,476
- Yeah.
- DAVE: YouTube star.

379
00:15:39,509 --> 00:15:42,278
We've got some rooms upstairs,
if you need.

380
00:15:42,312 --> 00:15:44,447
- Sure. That sounds good.
- Tonya?

381
00:15:44,481 --> 00:15:45,615
Yeah, baby.

382
00:15:45,648 --> 00:15:47,350
This gentleman here
would like a room.

383
00:15:47,383 --> 00:15:49,552
Oh, sure.
What do you need, hon?

384
00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:52,322
Uh, anything.
Any room is fine.

385
00:15:52,355 --> 00:15:53,590
Okay.

386
00:15:53,623 --> 00:15:56,059
If you have something
on a high floor

387
00:15:56,092 --> 00:15:57,761
with a king bed
and a coffee maker...

388
00:15:57,794 --> 00:15:59,696
Okay. Yeah, we... everything's
on the second floor.

389
00:15:59,729 --> 00:16:01,431
- Perfect.
- They're all pretty much the same.

390
00:16:01,464 --> 00:16:03,500
- That's perfect. I'm easy.
- (Tonya chuckles)

391
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:05,668
- GARY: Anything's good.
- Take 206. It's the biggest.

392
00:16:05,702 --> 00:16:06,870
- They're all unlocked.
- Okay.

393
00:16:06,903 --> 00:16:08,872
Thank you so much, Tonya.

394
00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:12,542
- LITTLE MIKE: Hey, so, D.C. Gary.
- Yeah.

395
00:16:12,575 --> 00:16:14,077
You ever been
to the White House?

396
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:15,745
- I have.
- BIG MIKE: What's that like?

397
00:16:15,779 --> 00:16:17,814
What's that like? It's a lot
smaller than you think.

398
00:16:17,847 --> 00:16:19,516
- Thanks.
- What? - Really? -Yeah.

399
00:16:19,549 --> 00:16:21,384
BIG MIKE: Yeah, 'cause we
didn't... I don't think we got

400
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,519
by there on that student trip.

401
00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:24,320
Must not have been built
at that point.

402
00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:25,789
Oh, that looks delicious.
Thank you so much.

403
00:16:25,822 --> 00:16:27,023
Do you have a bottle opener?

404
00:16:27,056 --> 00:16:29,492
- That's a... no, that's just a twist.
- Bud, you just twist.

405
00:16:29,526 --> 00:16:30,860
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's a twist-off.

406
00:16:30,894 --> 00:16:32,362
I know. I know.

407
00:16:32,395 --> 00:16:33,663
Maybe he does need
a bottle opener.

408
00:16:33,696 --> 00:16:35,398
- Maybe use your-your vest.
- He's probably...

409
00:16:35,431 --> 00:16:36,933
- Maybe a European grip.
- Ah, I got it. - (cap pops)

410
00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:38,535
- There we go.
- There we go. - (cap clatters)

411
00:16:38,568 --> 00:16:39,636
Cheers.

412
00:16:39,669 --> 00:16:41,104
- Hey.
- Cheers. - Cheers.

413
00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:42,772
- Cheers.
- Here's to you. - Cheers.

414
00:16:42,806 --> 00:16:44,674
Budweiser.

415
00:16:44,707 --> 00:16:47,710
Mmm. Mmm.

416
00:16:47,744 --> 00:16:49,813
(sniffs) Mm-hmm.

417
00:16:52,782 --> 00:16:55,385
You got to be kidding me.

418
00:17:01,424 --> 00:17:03,426
(sighs):
Okay.

419
00:17:03,459 --> 00:17:05,461
(clears throat, grunts)

420
00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:06,930
All right.

421
00:17:06,963 --> 00:17:08,631
(straining):
All right.

422
00:17:08,665 --> 00:17:10,466
It's fine, it's fine.

423
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,435
It's fine!

424
00:17:12,468 --> 00:17:13,937
- All right.
- (door rattling)

425
00:17:13,970 --> 00:17:16,840
And it's fucking locked.

426
00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:18,474
Goddamn it.

427
00:17:18,508 --> 00:17:20,610
Oh, shit.

428
00:17:20,643 --> 00:17:23,680
Ah, fuck this.

429
00:17:23,713 --> 00:17:26,583
(sighing):
Oh, Deerlaken.

430
00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:28,484
Love it.

431
00:17:31,421 --> 00:17:33,489
(bed creaks)

432
00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:39,429
(sighs):
Okay.

433
00:17:39,462 --> 00:17:41,564
DAVE (over phone):
Everything all right?

434
00:17:41,598 --> 00:17:43,867
Uh, hel... Yes? Hello?

435
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:45,635
- It's Dave.
- Yes?

436
00:17:45,668 --> 00:17:46,903
From the Hofbrau House.

437
00:17:46,936 --> 00:17:49,472
- From downstairs?
- Yes.

438
00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:51,407
- O-Okay.
- Everything all right?

439
00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:54,844
Mm... yeah, I was just looking
for a Wi-Fi password.

440
00:17:54,878 --> 00:17:56,613
Good luck.

441
00:17:56,646 --> 00:17:58,414
Case-sensitive?

442
00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:00,583
No, good luck getting Wi-Fi.

443
00:18:00,617 --> 00:18:02,518
You're better off
using your phone.

444
00:18:02,552 --> 00:18:04,554
- Okay.
- Okay.

445
00:18:04,587 --> 00:18:05,822
All right, very good.

446
00:18:05,855 --> 00:18:07,991
- Thank you.
- Sure.

447
00:18:08,024 --> 00:18:10,793
- Goodbye.
- Night, Gar.

448
00:18:12,829 --> 00:18:14,530
(hangs up phone)

449
00:18:18,235 --> 00:18:20,403
(sighs)

450
00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:31,714
DAVE:
Everything all right?

451
00:18:34,617 --> 00:18:36,753
(chuckles quietly)

452
00:18:36,786 --> 00:18:38,821
♪ ♪

453
00:18:47,530 --> 00:18:49,032
MAN:
Hey, D.C. Gary!

454
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,936
Hey, Gary.

455
00:18:52,969 --> 00:18:54,504
Hey.

456
00:18:55,538 --> 00:18:56,773
Good morning, Gary.

457
00:18:56,806 --> 00:18:58,708
Hey.

458
00:18:58,741 --> 00:19:00,710
Okay.

459
00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:05,848
- (gasps) Excuse me, Gary.
- Hi, Gary.

460
00:19:05,882 --> 00:19:08,518
(panting):
All right.

461
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:12,822
ANN:
Well, hello, Gary.

462
00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,992
The Mikes told me
that you're up from D.C.,

463
00:19:16,025 --> 00:19:17,860
and I figured that
you might be on the hunt

464
00:19:17,894 --> 00:19:19,629
for some good caffeine.
(chuckles)

465
00:19:19,662 --> 00:19:21,965
Yes. Um... sure.

466
00:19:21,998 --> 00:19:23,566
May I have a...

467
00:19:23,599 --> 00:19:25,702
- Coffee?
- A coffee.

468
00:19:25,735 --> 00:19:26,836
Cream, two sugars.

469
00:19:26,869 --> 00:19:29,072
Not how I like it, but good.

470
00:19:29,105 --> 00:19:30,173
And i-if you don't mind, um,

471
00:19:30,207 --> 00:19:32,575
when you head up to Jack's,
can you give him this?

472
00:19:32,608 --> 00:19:33,876
Jack, uh, he gets
a little cranky

473
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,279
if he doesn't get his linzers.

474
00:19:35,312 --> 00:19:37,613
(laughs)
Oh, and I-I, uh...

475
00:19:37,647 --> 00:19:40,284
I put a little streusel
in there for you, too.

476
00:19:40,317 --> 00:19:42,552
Just made it. Still warm.

477
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,989
Mmm. Okay.

478
00:19:46,022 --> 00:19:47,991
Ah, no, no, no, no, no.

479
00:19:48,024 --> 00:19:49,726
You're saving me a trip, so...

480
00:19:51,728 --> 00:19:53,730
- (laughing): Okay.
- (Ann laughs)

481
00:19:53,763 --> 00:19:55,798
Um, okay.

482
00:19:55,832 --> 00:19:57,533
(chuckles) Okay.

483
00:19:59,035 --> 00:20:00,837
Bye, Gary.

484
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:02,872
(laughing):
Okay. Bye.

485
00:20:02,905 --> 00:20:04,640
ANN:
Have a good one.

486
00:20:04,674 --> 00:20:07,577
GARY (laughing):
Thank you. You have a good one.

487
00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:09,812
Hey, guys.
Have a good one.

488
00:20:09,846 --> 00:20:12,682
- Hey, lady. Have a good one.
- (woman chuckles)

489
00:20:12,715 --> 00:20:15,151
All right.
Is everybody having a good one?

490
00:20:15,184 --> 00:20:17,754
What the fuck?

491
00:20:17,787 --> 00:20:19,789
♪ ♪

492
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:24,495
(bag rustling)

493
00:20:28,664 --> 00:20:30,633
Oh, my God.

494
00:20:30,666 --> 00:20:32,635
Oh, fuck!

495
00:20:41,378 --> 00:20:42,845
Oh!

496
00:20:42,879 --> 00:20:44,147
Fuck me!

497
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:45,915
Oh, God.

498
00:20:45,948 --> 00:20:48,584
(grunts, moans)

499
00:20:50,953 --> 00:20:53,022
Mmm, mmm.

500
00:20:53,056 --> 00:20:54,624
Mmm.

501
00:21:04,634 --> 00:21:06,169
(grunts)

502
00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:07,870
Mmm.

503
00:21:07,904 --> 00:21:09,772
(grunts)

504
00:21:13,009 --> 00:21:15,745
(vehicle door opens, closes)

505
00:21:15,778 --> 00:21:17,113
(horn beeps)

506
00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:26,956
- (dogs barking)
- Shit! God! God!

507
00:21:26,989 --> 00:21:29,725
(grunting)

508
00:21:30,993 --> 00:21:33,863
JACK:
Sunny! Muffin! Stand down!

509
00:21:33,896 --> 00:21:36,099
Oh, hey.

510
00:21:36,132 --> 00:21:39,035
You Ann's new delivery guy?

511
00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:40,803
(panting):
I'm sorry.

512
00:21:40,837 --> 00:21:42,839
Uh, I'll go back and get you
some more of those.

513
00:21:42,872 --> 00:21:44,707
Oh, it's fine.
I'll probably end up

514
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,676
giving them
most of them anyway.

515
00:21:46,709 --> 00:21:48,811
(chuckling)

516
00:21:48,845 --> 00:21:50,980
Um... okay.

517
00:21:51,013 --> 00:21:52,181
Okay. (sighs)

518
00:21:52,216 --> 00:21:54,617
That's an angry labradoodle.

519
00:21:55,452 --> 00:21:58,788
Oh, really beautiful out here.

520
00:21:58,821 --> 00:22:00,890
Really takes me back.

521
00:22:00,923 --> 00:22:02,825
Oh, you a farm boy?

522
00:22:02,859 --> 00:22:04,827
Uh, uh, no.

523
00:22:04,861 --> 00:22:06,996
Political consultant.

524
00:22:07,029 --> 00:22:08,432
- (hollers)
- (mooing)

525
00:22:08,465 --> 00:22:10,933
Well, sir, I saw your video
on the Internet...

526
00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:12,702
the town hall you busted up.

527
00:22:12,735 --> 00:22:14,737
- (hollers)
- Um...

528
00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:16,139
your comments
on the responsibility

529
00:22:16,172 --> 00:22:18,208
to the least of us
moved me deeply.

530
00:22:18,242 --> 00:22:20,877
- Grab a bucket.
- And I'll grab a bucket.

531
00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:22,879
And here they come. Okay.

532
00:22:22,912 --> 00:22:24,747
- I think, increasingly...
- (hollers)

533
00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:27,884
...we have lost the capacity
to see each other.

534
00:22:27,917 --> 00:22:31,787
Empathy for those
that we don't resemble.

535
00:22:31,821 --> 00:22:33,223
Not to say partisanship
has no place,

536
00:22:33,257 --> 00:22:36,025
but certainly not at the level
of toxicity

537
00:22:36,058 --> 00:22:38,262
that our current debate
incorporates.

538
00:22:40,096 --> 00:22:43,766
"No man left behind"
is your ethos as a Marine!

539
00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:46,869
I think it's especially
poignant this day and age!

540
00:22:46,903 --> 00:22:49,239
Your words spoke to values,
not identity.

541
00:22:49,273 --> 00:22:51,107
So important.

542
00:22:59,749 --> 00:23:01,751
(squishing)

543
00:23:02,919 --> 00:23:05,021
(groans)

544
00:23:05,054 --> 00:23:08,225
(grunts, exhales heavily)

545
00:23:09,293 --> 00:23:11,027
(groans)

546
00:23:11,060 --> 00:23:12,895
It was Abraham Lincoln
who said,

547
00:23:12,929 --> 00:23:14,830
"An appeal to
our better angels."

548
00:23:14,864 --> 00:23:16,866
(toilet flushes)

549
00:23:23,139 --> 00:23:25,074
You came out of there
pretty fast.

550
00:23:25,107 --> 00:23:26,876
Did you wash?

551
00:23:35,552 --> 00:23:38,255
(Gary takes deep breath)

552
00:23:41,824 --> 00:23:43,025
Okay.

553
00:23:43,059 --> 00:23:45,529
Here it is.

554
00:23:45,562 --> 00:23:48,164
I want you to be
the Democratic candidate

555
00:23:48,197 --> 00:23:50,166
for mayor of Deerlaken.

556
00:23:52,068 --> 00:23:54,338
Now, I know you probably don't
think that you're a Democrat,

557
00:23:54,371 --> 00:23:57,307
but after watching your speech,
I can assure you that you are,

558
00:23:57,341 --> 00:23:59,976
and I would like to offer
my company's services

559
00:24:00,009 --> 00:24:01,744
to help you do so.

560
00:24:08,818 --> 00:24:11,355
Well, I thank you.

561
00:24:11,388 --> 00:24:13,055
You're welcome.

562
00:24:13,089 --> 00:24:15,024
You know,
thanks for the help today.

563
00:24:15,057 --> 00:24:16,826
My pleasure.

564
00:24:16,859 --> 00:24:20,129
But all things being equal,

565
00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:22,164
I'd rather not.

566
00:24:25,402 --> 00:24:27,970
All right.

567
00:24:28,004 --> 00:24:30,806
Can I be completely honest
with you?

568
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,074
No bullshit.

569
00:24:32,108 --> 00:24:33,310
Be nice.

570
00:24:33,343 --> 00:24:35,111
My daughter's here.

571
00:24:35,144 --> 00:24:38,282
That was your daughter,
with her-her arm up the c-cow?

572
00:24:38,315 --> 00:24:40,149
Okay. Look...

573
00:24:40,182 --> 00:24:41,817
(Gary sighs)

574
00:24:41,851 --> 00:24:44,887
- Democrats are getting their asses kicked.
- Mm.

575
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:49,259
Because guys like me don't know
how to talk to guys like you.

576
00:24:49,293 --> 00:24:52,161
I really believe that
you believe what I believe...

577
00:24:52,194 --> 00:24:55,232
that what is happening
in this town is wrong.

578
00:24:55,265 --> 00:24:58,000
What is happening
in this country is wrong.

579
00:24:58,034 --> 00:24:59,969
People are turning their backs
on each other.

580
00:25:00,002 --> 00:25:02,104
We are forgetting
that we need each other.

581
00:25:02,138 --> 00:25:04,040
What you said in your speech...

582
00:25:04,073 --> 00:25:05,841
strong as our weakest link.

583
00:25:05,875 --> 00:25:07,143
Do you mean that?

584
00:25:07,176 --> 00:25:08,978
Did you mean it
when you said that?

585
00:25:09,011 --> 00:25:12,148
Because if you did, I think
that you have an obligation

586
00:25:12,181 --> 00:25:14,318
to try to strengthen
those weak links.

587
00:25:14,351 --> 00:25:17,321
And you can do it.
You can do it.

588
00:25:17,354 --> 00:25:19,456
You can do it
in this sort of position.

589
00:25:19,489 --> 00:25:23,226
You can help strengthen
those... those weak links.

590
00:25:25,462 --> 00:25:27,830
You can achieve that.

591
00:25:31,033 --> 00:25:33,203
- Okay...
- (taps desk)

592
00:25:33,236 --> 00:25:34,471
All right.

593
00:25:34,504 --> 00:25:36,172
You know what?

594
00:25:37,307 --> 00:25:39,108
(sighs)

595
00:25:39,141 --> 00:25:42,646
All due respect, Colonel,
anybody can make a speech.

596
00:25:42,679 --> 00:25:44,648
The real test is
backing up your words.

597
00:25:44,681 --> 00:25:47,083
The things that you said
to those folks in that meeting,

598
00:25:47,116 --> 00:25:50,253
was that principle,

599
00:25:50,287 --> 00:25:52,289
or was that just a hobby?

600
00:25:54,291 --> 00:25:56,025
Let me know.

601
00:25:56,058 --> 00:25:58,928
Why does he need three guns?

602
00:25:58,961 --> 00:26:00,963
(door opens)

603
00:26:00,996 --> 00:26:02,332
(door closes)

604
00:26:05,335 --> 00:26:07,371
♪ ♪

605
00:26:21,385 --> 00:26:23,286
(rooster crows in distance)

606
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,288
(gasps, groans)

607
00:26:25,322 --> 00:26:27,257
- (groaning): Oh, God.
- (laughs)

608
00:26:27,290 --> 00:26:30,260
- Shit.
- I'm sorry if I startled you, sunshine.

609
00:26:30,293 --> 00:26:31,528
(groans)

610
00:26:31,561 --> 00:26:33,463
Don't you people
believe in locks?

611
00:26:33,497 --> 00:26:37,234
Or privacy
or basic social contracts?

612
00:26:37,267 --> 00:26:39,101
Yeah, Tonya let me in.

613
00:26:39,135 --> 00:26:41,304
I told her I had
something important

614
00:26:41,338 --> 00:26:44,006
I needed to talk to you about.

615
00:26:46,008 --> 00:26:47,411
You'll do it?

616
00:26:47,444 --> 00:26:49,145
Under one condition.

617
00:26:49,178 --> 00:26:50,913
Great. Name it.

618
00:26:52,749 --> 00:26:54,551
You run the damn thing.

619
00:26:54,584 --> 00:26:56,253
I got the farm to worry about.

620
00:26:56,286 --> 00:26:58,120
Don't have any idea
how to even start.

621
00:26:58,154 --> 00:27:01,023
I will have one of my top guys
make himself available to you.

622
00:27:01,056 --> 00:27:02,359
No, no, that's not gonna do it.

623
00:27:02,392 --> 00:27:04,728
You.

624
00:27:04,761 --> 00:27:08,063
The deal is you run it
from here.

625
00:27:08,097 --> 00:27:09,965
I checked you out.

626
00:27:09,999 --> 00:27:12,202
You got one hell
of a portfolio.

627
00:27:14,337 --> 00:27:17,207
So, deal?

628
00:27:22,077 --> 00:27:24,046
GARY: I'd like
a big clump of the cows

629
00:27:24,079 --> 00:27:26,081
right here in the center.

630
00:27:27,451 --> 00:27:29,419
- Do you copy me?
- Yes, sir!

631
00:27:29,453 --> 00:27:32,255
Okay. If you can just
move 'em over that way.

632
00:27:32,289 --> 00:27:34,089
- Yep!
- Okay!

633
00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:36,393
And if you could get
some of them to face front.

634
00:27:36,426 --> 00:27:38,060
(under breath):
Oh, my God.

635
00:27:38,093 --> 00:27:40,263
Hey there, Colonel.

636
00:27:40,297 --> 00:27:42,198
Gary.

637
00:27:42,232 --> 00:27:45,302
Bobby, thanks a million
for coming out here.

638
00:27:45,335 --> 00:27:46,603
I'll be certain to vote
for you.

639
00:27:46,636 --> 00:27:48,472
Thank y'all, folks, for coming.

640
00:27:48,505 --> 00:27:50,474
So, this is just
a quick kickoff.

641
00:27:50,507 --> 00:27:53,343
Let's make you look
a little more like Farmer Jack

642
00:27:53,376 --> 00:27:57,414
and less like Certified
Public Accountant Jack.

643
00:27:57,447 --> 00:27:59,583
- There you go.
- Uh, okay.

644
00:27:59,616 --> 00:28:01,218
Oh...

645
00:28:01,251 --> 00:28:02,319
- Oh, no, no. That's okay.
- JACK: Quit it.

646
00:28:02,352 --> 00:28:03,353
- That's okay. Donny, right?
- Quit it.

647
00:28:03,386 --> 00:28:04,521
Michael.

648
00:28:04,554 --> 00:28:07,224
Michael, we can just
boom him, okay?

649
00:28:07,257 --> 00:28:08,492
The pole with the thing
on the end.

650
00:28:08,525 --> 00:28:09,793
Do you do sound, Michael?

651
00:28:09,826 --> 00:28:11,294
- Chuck does sound.
- Okay.

652
00:28:11,328 --> 00:28:12,796
But he's at the lake
with his family.

653
00:28:12,829 --> 00:28:14,029
Okay, well, that's too bad
that he's not...

654
00:28:14,063 --> 00:28:16,065
- Eh, that's okay. That's okay. We'll just go without.
- No.

655
00:28:16,098 --> 00:28:17,634
- Thank you, Donny.
- Thank you, son. Thank you.

656
00:28:17,667 --> 00:28:19,168
Okay.

657
00:28:19,202 --> 00:28:20,370
Let's give it a try.

658
00:28:20,403 --> 00:28:21,638
There you are.

659
00:28:21,671 --> 00:28:23,507
Uh, this is...

660
00:28:23,540 --> 00:28:25,342
Why you are running for mayor.

661
00:28:26,376 --> 00:28:27,477
Wow.

662
00:28:27,511 --> 00:28:29,513
I quote Patton...

663
00:28:29,546 --> 00:28:31,080
and Jesus.

664
00:28:31,113 --> 00:28:32,382
Paraphrase.

665
00:28:32,415 --> 00:28:34,484
And you can't go to the prom
without a corsage.

666
00:28:34,518 --> 00:28:36,453
(cows mooing)

667
00:28:36,486 --> 00:28:38,421
Let's make magic.

668
00:28:38,455 --> 00:28:41,258
All right.
Thank you for coming.

669
00:28:41,291 --> 00:28:43,260
Could we quiet the cows,
please?!

670
00:28:43,293 --> 00:28:45,160
Thank you!

671
00:28:45,194 --> 00:28:48,130
Ladies and gentlemen,
Colonel Jack Hastings.

672
00:28:52,302 --> 00:28:54,204
So, uh,

673
00:28:54,237 --> 00:28:57,541
I am Colonel Jack Hastings,
and...

674
00:28:57,574 --> 00:29:00,443
I'm running for mayor.

675
00:29:04,714 --> 00:29:07,350
So, uh...

676
00:29:07,384 --> 00:29:10,220
How we doing?

677
00:29:10,253 --> 00:29:12,589
All right.
Beautifully put.

678
00:29:14,123 --> 00:29:15,592
Are there any questions
for the Colonel?

679
00:29:15,625 --> 00:29:17,260
Anyone?

680
00:29:18,895 --> 00:29:20,664
Bueller?

681
00:29:20,697 --> 00:29:22,465
Uh, yes, Colonel.

682
00:29:22,499 --> 00:29:24,234
Yes, name and affiliation,
please.

683
00:29:24,267 --> 00:29:26,603
- It's Dan.
- Name and affiliation, please.

684
00:29:26,636 --> 00:29:28,505
I'm Dan.

685
00:29:28,538 --> 00:29:30,206
Go ahead, Daniel.

686
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,474
Easy on the cows!

687
00:29:31,508 --> 00:29:33,610
Um, yes, Mr. Hastings,
uh, Colonel,

688
00:29:33,643 --> 00:29:35,211
could you say that again?

689
00:29:35,245 --> 00:29:37,380
Because I-I don't think
my recorder was on.

690
00:29:39,316 --> 00:29:41,183
Mm. Do it again?

691
00:29:41,217 --> 00:29:42,552
GARY:
Hey, you know what?

692
00:29:42,586 --> 00:29:43,720
It's okay.

693
00:29:43,753 --> 00:29:45,187
- GARY: Now...
- We'll get it.

694
00:29:45,221 --> 00:29:47,290
GARY:
Okay, this one...

695
00:29:47,324 --> 00:29:49,426
What I'm looking for...

696
00:29:49,459 --> 00:29:52,329
don't put all the black ones
in the center.

697
00:29:52,362 --> 00:29:55,231
He's running as a moderate,
okay?

698
00:29:55,265 --> 00:29:57,400
And if you could get some
facing this way,

699
00:29:57,434 --> 00:29:58,902
that would be helpful.

700
00:29:58,935 --> 00:30:00,704
More local news tonight
out of Deerlaken.

701
00:30:00,737 --> 00:30:02,372
Former Marine Colonel
Jack Hastings

702
00:30:02,405 --> 00:30:04,507
announcing today
that he's running for mayor

703
00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:06,209
as a Democrat.

704
00:30:06,242 --> 00:30:08,211
While Braun may have
an incumbent's advantage,

705
00:30:08,244 --> 00:30:09,446
political insiders say Hastings

706
00:30:09,479 --> 00:30:11,481
is likely to give him
a run for his money.

707
00:30:11,514 --> 00:30:12,916
Happening now, a major...

708
00:30:12,949 --> 00:30:15,585
JACK: Well, how much
is this gonna cost?

709
00:30:15,619 --> 00:30:17,921
GARY:
You let me worry about that.

710
00:30:17,954 --> 00:30:20,189
What I need from you
are people, volunteers.

711
00:30:20,223 --> 00:30:21,491
We got a lot of legwork

712
00:30:21,524 --> 00:30:23,660
if we're gonna make a noise
in this thing.

713
00:30:23,693 --> 00:30:25,495
- More coffee?
- Oh, I'm good.

714
00:30:25,528 --> 00:30:27,297
No, I'm good, Lizzie.
Thanks.

715
00:30:27,330 --> 00:30:28,732
You know what I do need?

716
00:30:28,765 --> 00:30:31,601
I need a couple buckets
of that gravy

717
00:30:31,635 --> 00:30:34,204
so I can take a bath in it.

718
00:30:35,271 --> 00:30:37,374
So good.

719
00:30:37,407 --> 00:30:38,441
Delicious.

720
00:30:38,475 --> 00:30:39,776
(takes deep breath)

721
00:30:39,809 --> 00:30:42,312
My compliments to the chef.

722
00:30:42,345 --> 00:30:43,380
I'll let Ziggy know.

723
00:30:43,413 --> 00:30:44,514
Great.

724
00:30:44,547 --> 00:30:45,715
That ought to cheer him up.

725
00:30:45,749 --> 00:30:48,351
JACK:
Just the check, Lizzie.

726
00:30:48,385 --> 00:30:50,320
Will do, Jack.

727
00:30:50,353 --> 00:30:53,256
GARY: What's the deal
with the happy chef?

728
00:30:53,289 --> 00:30:55,225
JACK:
Oh, Ziggy's all right.

729
00:30:55,258 --> 00:30:57,227
- Oh?
- He owns the place.

730
00:30:57,260 --> 00:30:59,562
Eh, he may be a bit peeved
about the election thing.

731
00:30:59,596 --> 00:31:02,399
He's Mayor Braun's brother.

732
00:31:02,432 --> 00:31:05,468
Why isn't this place
called Braun's?

733
00:31:05,502 --> 00:31:10,540
The Hansens owned this place
since probably... Korea.

734
00:31:10,573 --> 00:31:13,410
Bobby Hansen started it,
his kids ran it for years,

735
00:31:13,443 --> 00:31:16,446
and had to sell
once the base closed,

736
00:31:16,479 --> 00:31:20,417
but no matter who owns it,
it'll always be Hansen's.

737
00:31:20,450 --> 00:31:23,353
Base closing
really hammered this place.

738
00:31:23,386 --> 00:31:25,221
Yeah, it did.

739
00:31:25,255 --> 00:31:28,224
More than half of
our storefronts have shut down.

740
00:31:28,258 --> 00:31:29,726
In fact, we're losing
our high school

741
00:31:29,759 --> 00:31:31,995
if we can't come up
with the funding.

742
00:31:32,028 --> 00:31:36,499
But no matter what folks
might wish for here,

743
00:31:36,533 --> 00:31:38,401
it ain't coming back.

744
00:31:38,435 --> 00:31:40,503
"Vote for Jack Hastings,

745
00:31:40,537 --> 00:31:42,305
"'cause no matter
what you wish for,

746
00:31:42,338 --> 00:31:44,641
- it ain't never coming back."
- (chuckling)

747
00:31:44,674 --> 00:31:46,409
- I like it. It's good.
- Well...

748
00:31:46,443 --> 00:31:48,645
- I'm not gonna lie to people.
- No, I know. I know.

749
00:31:48,678 --> 00:31:51,581
I was just being witty
and cynical.

750
00:31:51,614 --> 00:31:54,284
Can't win a battle
if you're not honest

751
00:31:54,317 --> 00:31:56,586
about what you're
really up against.

752
00:31:56,619 --> 00:31:58,288
No, you cannot.

753
00:31:58,321 --> 00:31:59,689
(footsteps approaching)

754
00:31:59,723 --> 00:32:02,025
LIZZIE:
Not enough for a bath,

755
00:32:02,058 --> 00:32:04,360
but you can get
a good foot soak in.

756
00:32:05,862 --> 00:32:07,030
GARY:
Thank you.

757
00:32:07,063 --> 00:32:09,733
- A straw.
- (chuckling)

758
00:32:11,735 --> 00:32:13,336
- <i>(claps)</i>
- GARY: <i>All right, let's bring it in.</i>

759
00:32:13,369 --> 00:32:14,804
<i>Everybody in. Ah...</i>

760
00:32:14,838 --> 00:32:16,740
- phone bank!
- OTHERS: Phone bank.

761
00:32:16,773 --> 00:32:18,441
Well, you'll get it next time.

762
00:32:18,475 --> 00:32:20,276
Okay, I want you to be upbeat.

763
00:32:20,310 --> 00:32:21,711
I want you to be positive.

764
00:32:21,745 --> 00:32:24,347
Active participation
is what we're looking for.

765
00:32:24,380 --> 00:32:26,316
Would they volunteer?
Would they donate?

766
00:32:26,349 --> 00:32:27,884
Can we drop off a lawn sign?

767
00:32:27,917 --> 00:32:29,819
- Would they donate?
- (laughs)

768
00:32:29,853 --> 00:32:31,654
Would they donate?

769
00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:34,324
Yes, write that down.
That's good.

770
00:32:34,357 --> 00:32:36,426
Got some sample scripts
for you there.

771
00:32:36,459 --> 00:32:38,294
Contact list there.

772
00:32:38,328 --> 00:32:39,662
To the ramparts!

773
00:32:41,531 --> 00:32:43,366
That means go. You can begin.

774
00:32:43,399 --> 00:32:44,801
- Oh.
- Now...

775
00:32:44,834 --> 00:32:46,736
you guys are my "A" team.

776
00:32:46,770 --> 00:32:49,372
So, first, we're going to take
these lawn signs,

777
00:32:49,405 --> 00:32:52,342
and we're going to put them
in all available public spaces.

778
00:32:52,375 --> 00:32:54,377
I want them visible
but not obnoxiously so.

779
00:32:54,410 --> 00:32:57,514
Isn't it a little early
for lawn signs?

780
00:32:59,382 --> 00:33:01,351
DIANA:
I'm sorry. She just, um...

781
00:33:01,384 --> 00:33:02,519
'Cause just around here,

782
00:33:02,552 --> 00:33:04,387
sometimes people
aren't so keen...

783
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:06,589
- Mm-hmm.
- But then, I do appreciate

784
00:33:06,623 --> 00:33:08,424
that you got the signs made.

785
00:33:08,458 --> 00:33:10,360
- Mm-hmm.
- GARY: I mean, we've always used lawn signs.

786
00:33:10,393 --> 00:33:12,495
- Yeah.
- They've worked for hundreds of years, so...

787
00:33:12,529 --> 00:33:14,097
- Great.
- Yeah, let's just use 'em.

788
00:33:14,130 --> 00:33:16,332
Great. All right, Ann?

789
00:33:16,366 --> 00:33:18,334
- Hmm? Okay.
- I want you to take the downtown area.

790
00:33:18,368 --> 00:33:20,637
Martha, Dave, how about
everything west of 39?

791
00:33:20,670 --> 00:33:22,672
- (phones ringing)
- And, Diana, I'd like you to stay here...

792
00:33:22,705 --> 00:33:24,407
- Hello?
- MAN: Yeah?

793
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,775
- ...to do...
- Good morning.

794
00:33:25,809 --> 00:33:27,544
Hi. This is Matthew,
and I'm a volunteer

795
00:33:27,577 --> 00:33:28,745
- calling with Jack...
- WOMAN: Matthew?

796
00:33:28,778 --> 00:33:29,846
- Matt... Matthew...
- Hello?

797
00:33:29,879 --> 00:33:31,681
- Hello?
- (overlapping chatter)

798
00:33:31,714 --> 00:33:33,416
- What are you doing?
- (laughter)

799
00:33:33,449 --> 00:33:35,485
- Zimmer.
- MICHAEL: Good morning, Mr. Zimmer.

800
00:33:35,518 --> 00:33:37,921
My name is Michael, calling
on behalf of Colonel Hastings.

801
00:33:37,954 --> 00:33:40,423
Guys, guys, guys, guys.

802
00:33:40,456 --> 00:33:41,758
All right, this is
what's happening here.

803
00:33:41,791 --> 00:33:43,960
You're calling off
the office contact list.

804
00:33:43,993 --> 00:33:45,662
This is the voter contact list.

805
00:33:45,695 --> 00:33:47,664
- Oh. - (laughter)
- GARY: So, yeah, I know.

806
00:33:47,697 --> 00:33:50,533
I want you to call
the voter contact list.

807
00:33:50,567 --> 00:33:51,935
We're already voting
for the Colonel.

808
00:33:51,968 --> 00:33:53,636
Okay? Good.

809
00:33:53,670 --> 00:33:55,438
Let's go do the signs, too.

810
00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:56,773
- (indistinct chatter)
- GARY: Oh, my God.

811
00:33:56,806 --> 00:33:58,975
Keep doing that, guys.

812
00:33:59,008 --> 00:34:01,344
(gas pump sputtering,
meter dinging steadily)

813
00:34:06,816 --> 00:34:09,452
Gar! Hey, D.C. Gary!

814
00:34:09,485 --> 00:34:12,488
- Hi.
- Hey, Gar, come on over.

815
00:34:12,522 --> 00:34:14,624
Okay. All right.

816
00:34:14,657 --> 00:34:16,459
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
- (others muttering)

817
00:34:16,492 --> 00:34:17,861
Uh, that's a six.
That is a five.

818
00:34:17,894 --> 00:34:19,395
And a four. Look at that.

819
00:34:19,429 --> 00:34:20,597
- And a seven.
- Oh, my... Oh!

820
00:34:20,630 --> 00:34:22,465
- (bangs table)
- I'm keeping it, baby!

821
00:34:22,498 --> 00:34:24,500
- Ah!
- Hey, everybody.

822
00:34:24,534 --> 00:34:25,935
- Hey.
- This is D.C. Gary.

823
00:34:25,969 --> 00:34:28,471
He's staying above the Hofbrau.

824
00:34:28,504 --> 00:34:29,672
- Hey.
- GARY: Good to see you.

825
00:34:29,706 --> 00:34:30,640
Welcome to
The Ambassador's Lounge.

826
00:34:30,673 --> 00:34:31,908
Thank you very much.

827
00:34:31,941 --> 00:34:33,509
Hear you're in town
helping the Colonel.

828
00:34:33,543 --> 00:34:34,911
- Yes, I am.
- He's a good man.

829
00:34:34,944 --> 00:34:36,713
He is. He is a good man.

830
00:34:36,746 --> 00:34:39,449
So, is this your
campaign office here?

831
00:34:39,482 --> 00:34:41,484
- (laughter)
- This?

832
00:34:41,517 --> 00:34:43,586
No, this is
The Ambassador's Lounge,

833
00:34:43,620 --> 00:34:47,023
an elite, uh, social club of
the area's top entrepreneurs,

834
00:34:47,056 --> 00:34:49,692
- athletes and raconteurs.
- Ah.

835
00:34:49,726 --> 00:34:51,461
- It's a shithole.
- (laughter)

836
00:34:51,494 --> 00:34:52,595
BIG MIKE:
Hey, guys.

837
00:34:52,629 --> 00:34:54,764
Jack's already got lawn signs
printed up. (chuckles)

838
00:34:58,801 --> 00:35:01,037
Well, I got to head out.

839
00:35:01,070 --> 00:35:02,972
Got a lot of work
to catch up on.

840
00:35:03,006 --> 00:35:04,607
Pleasure meeting everybody.

841
00:35:04,641 --> 00:35:06,509
BRAUN: Hey, Father,
you want to go with him?

842
00:35:06,542 --> 00:35:07,777
He might need a miracle or two.

843
00:35:07,810 --> 00:35:09,679
This town hasn't had
a Democrat mayor

844
00:35:09,712 --> 00:35:11,881
since La Follette
ruled these parts, and...

845
00:35:11,915 --> 00:35:14,651
hasn't had a Democratic Party
since the '70s.

846
00:35:14,684 --> 00:35:15,919
- (laughter)
- Gonna take a little bit more

847
00:35:15,952 --> 00:35:17,820
than lawn signs.

848
00:35:18,922 --> 00:35:20,623
Okay.

849
00:35:22,725 --> 00:35:23,993
(bell dings)

850
00:35:28,498 --> 00:35:30,566
NARRATOR:
<i>Colonel Jack Hastings.</i>

851
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,035
<i>Tempered by war.</i>

852
00:35:32,068 --> 00:35:35,038
Chain's only as strong
as its weakest link.

853
00:35:35,071 --> 00:35:37,540
NARRATOR:
<i>Driven by faith.</i>

854
00:35:37,573 --> 00:35:39,609
I am my brother's keeper.

855
00:35:39,642 --> 00:35:41,778
NARRATOR:
<i>A new kind of Democrat.</i>

856
00:35:41,811 --> 00:35:44,580
<i>A Democrat for the heartland.</i>

857
00:35:44,614 --> 00:35:47,984
Jack Hastings,
a redder kind of blue.

858
00:35:48,017 --> 00:35:50,553
ANNOUNCER: Paid for
by Real Americans for...

859
00:35:50,586 --> 00:35:52,956
FAITH:
What are you up to, Zimmer?

860
00:35:52,989 --> 00:35:56,059
I am telling you guys,
Jack could be the real deal,

861
00:35:56,092 --> 00:35:57,694
on a national level.

862
00:35:57,727 --> 00:35:58,928
KURT (chuckles):
On a national level?

863
00:35:58,962 --> 00:36:01,898
It's like he's a cross
between...

864
00:36:01,931 --> 00:36:04,934
- MacArthur and elk jerky.
- Wait, what?

865
00:36:04,968 --> 00:36:07,537
And one of those machines
that test grip strength.

866
00:36:07,570 --> 00:36:09,273
Sounds too good to be true.

867
00:36:09,306 --> 00:36:11,007
GARY:
Oh, my God.

868
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,609
Semicolon. (laughs)

869
00:36:13,643 --> 00:36:15,712
She took the bait.

870
00:36:15,745 --> 00:36:18,481
It's on here, boys.
Game on.

871
00:36:21,084 --> 00:36:22,885
- And let him be the star, you know?
- Yeah.

872
00:36:22,919 --> 00:36:24,587
- (laughter) - Yep.
- So...

873
00:36:24,620 --> 00:36:27,090
GARY: ♪ A little bit
of Hastings all the time ♪

874
00:36:27,123 --> 00:36:29,859
♪ We're gonna win election,
yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪

875
00:36:29,892 --> 00:36:32,296
- Oh, yeah. Oh, here I am.
- (Diana chuckles)

876
00:36:32,329 --> 00:36:34,298
(chuckles):
Yes. Hello, party people.

877
00:36:34,331 --> 00:36:37,133
Oh, 'tis a beautiful day
to be alive

878
00:36:37,166 --> 00:36:38,868
and on the vanguard of change.

879
00:36:38,901 --> 00:36:40,903
Who wants something to eat?

880
00:36:40,937 --> 00:36:42,538
They're so delicious.

881
00:36:45,141 --> 00:36:47,110
Okay.

882
00:36:47,143 --> 00:36:48,711
What's going on?

883
00:36:48,745 --> 00:36:50,680
Why all the long faces?

884
00:36:50,713 --> 00:36:51,881
Did you not see it?

885
00:36:51,914 --> 00:36:54,318
The billboard.

886
00:36:54,351 --> 00:36:57,820
The one on Main with the giant
"Vote for Mayor Braun"?

887
00:36:57,854 --> 00:36:59,122
- Yes.
- What about it?

888
00:36:59,155 --> 00:37:00,890
(scoffs) "What about it?"

889
00:37:00,923 --> 00:37:02,859
That's the
Macgregor Ford billboard.

890
00:37:02,892 --> 00:37:04,560
Okay.

891
00:37:04,594 --> 00:37:05,895
Okay, so it's been
the Macgregor Ford billboard

892
00:37:05,928 --> 00:37:07,030
for probably 40 years.

893
00:37:07,063 --> 00:37:08,265
God only knows
how much it cost.

894
00:37:08,298 --> 00:37:11,067
And it looks like Braun has
taken over Jerry's old office

895
00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:12,769
as some sort of
campaign headquarters.

896
00:37:12,802 --> 00:37:14,904
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Hold on. Hold on.

897
00:37:14,937 --> 00:37:17,341
Um, are you telling me
that the mayor,

898
00:37:17,374 --> 00:37:19,575
who's running for reelection,

899
00:37:19,609 --> 00:37:23,579
has decided to advertise
his campaign for mayor?

900
00:37:23,613 --> 00:37:26,916
And he's doing it from a...
campaign office?

901
00:37:26,949 --> 00:37:29,185
Oh, my God!
Oh, I... This is...

902
00:37:29,219 --> 00:37:31,187
This is overwhelming to me.

903
00:37:31,221 --> 00:37:32,755
(laughing):
Oh, my God.

904
00:37:32,789 --> 00:37:34,057
I don't... I...

905
00:37:34,090 --> 00:37:35,058
What... (stammering)

906
00:37:35,091 --> 00:37:36,826
I have the vapors. I...

907
00:37:36,859 --> 00:37:37,994
I'm hyperventilating.

908
00:37:38,027 --> 00:37:40,029
Why are these spoons
just standing there?

909
00:37:40,063 --> 00:37:41,697
You don't get it.

910
00:37:41,731 --> 00:37:42,899
(laughing)

911
00:37:42,932 --> 00:37:44,734
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- (laughs)

912
00:37:44,767 --> 00:37:46,370
You don't get it.

913
00:37:46,403 --> 00:37:48,604
Do you have any idea
how much that costs?

914
00:37:48,638 --> 00:37:50,173
Well, that space
is 3,800 square feet,

915
00:37:50,207 --> 00:37:52,875
and it runs for
$20 a square foot yearly.

916
00:37:52,909 --> 00:37:56,045
Prorated to two months
is $7,600.

917
00:37:56,079 --> 00:37:59,082
The billboard, a little bit
harder to decipher.

918
00:37:59,115 --> 00:38:01,184
But I'd say,
based on the location

919
00:38:01,218 --> 00:38:04,687
and Mayor Braun's desperation,
8K all-in.

920
00:38:04,720 --> 00:38:06,089
Design and printing included.

921
00:38:06,122 --> 00:38:08,724
I don't know,
maybe something like that.

922
00:38:08,758 --> 00:38:11,094
Well, there's no way that
Braun's got that much money.

923
00:38:11,127 --> 00:38:14,097
Unless... this little
campaign of ours

924
00:38:14,130 --> 00:38:17,700
has caught the attention of
the national Republican Party

925
00:38:17,733 --> 00:38:20,703
and they are sending money
and reinforcements.

926
00:38:20,736 --> 00:38:22,138
- (quiet gasping)
- It's okay.

927
00:38:22,171 --> 00:38:25,141
It's exactly what
we wanted to happen.

928
00:38:26,210 --> 00:38:28,111
They are scared.

929
00:38:28,144 --> 00:38:30,713
On a national level,

930
00:38:30,746 --> 00:38:33,783
they are scared
of Colonel Jack.

931
00:38:35,252 --> 00:38:37,854
So we have to plan
our next move.

932
00:38:37,887 --> 00:38:39,155
Come here.

933
00:38:40,290 --> 00:38:41,924
Gather round.

934
00:38:41,958 --> 00:38:44,093
We're going to need...

935
00:38:44,127 --> 00:38:46,796
something a little like...

936
00:38:46,829 --> 00:38:48,865
- that.
- (others gasping)

937
00:38:50,133 --> 00:38:52,001
- WOMAN (chuckling): Wow.
- (quiet murmuring)

938
00:38:54,103 --> 00:38:55,671
GARY:
And you scroll down.

939
00:38:55,705 --> 00:38:57,241
DIANA:
There's a "donate" button.

940
00:38:57,274 --> 00:39:00,843
Well, the money be
just one clicky away.

941
00:39:00,877 --> 00:39:03,779
And one clicky goes to where?

942
00:39:03,813 --> 00:39:05,014
Our website.

943
00:39:05,047 --> 00:39:07,683
(chuckling):
Oh, we don't have a web...

944
00:39:09,852 --> 00:39:11,020
(chuckling):
Oh, wow.

945
00:39:11,053 --> 00:39:13,689
- MAN: Awesome.
- (laughter, murmuring)

946
00:39:13,723 --> 00:39:15,225
GARY:
Good slogan, right?

947
00:39:15,259 --> 00:39:17,126
You were one step ahead
the whole time.

948
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,729
Well, three or four,
but thank you very much.

949
00:39:19,762 --> 00:39:20,963
I will take that.

950
00:39:20,997 --> 00:39:22,466
Oh, wow.

951
00:39:22,499 --> 00:39:24,734
♪ ♪

952
00:39:38,848 --> 00:39:40,850
(sighs)

953
00:39:48,824 --> 00:39:50,294
Mmm.

954
00:39:52,061 --> 00:39:54,030
Mmm.

955
00:39:54,063 --> 00:39:56,766
Know how I knew you were here?

956
00:39:56,799 --> 00:39:58,768
Your pussy tingled.

957
00:39:59,869 --> 00:40:01,971
Semicolon on the billboard.

958
00:40:02,004 --> 00:40:05,074
Classic Faith Brewster
over-punctuation.

959
00:40:05,107 --> 00:40:07,877
Look, Zim,
y'all punched your ticket

960
00:40:07,910 --> 00:40:11,914
on a changing demographic, and
now whitey don't want you back.

961
00:40:11,948 --> 00:40:15,785
Okay, Jeb, exclamation point.

962
00:40:15,818 --> 00:40:17,820
Why are you here?

963
00:40:17,853 --> 00:40:19,922
Because I enjoy
demoralizing you.

964
00:40:19,956 --> 00:40:22,226
Because crushing the last
piece of hope in your eyes

965
00:40:22,259 --> 00:40:23,826
really gets me off.

966
00:40:23,859 --> 00:40:25,795
(clicks tongue, inhales deeply)

967
00:40:25,828 --> 00:40:28,898
(sighing):
You are a twisted fuck, Faith.

968
00:40:28,931 --> 00:40:31,000
And you don't know Jack.

969
00:40:31,033 --> 00:40:32,969
Please don't tell me that is

970
00:40:33,002 --> 00:40:35,771
the campaign slogan
you came up with.

971
00:40:38,007 --> 00:40:40,109
This guy, Zim,
he's not the last Jedi,

972
00:40:40,142 --> 00:40:42,078
and even if he were,
I'd still crush him

973
00:40:42,111 --> 00:40:43,846
because that's what I do.

974
00:40:43,879 --> 00:40:45,848
You realize, in that analogy,
you're Darth Vader.

975
00:40:45,881 --> 00:40:47,850
- Whatever you say, nerd.
- (chuckles)

976
00:40:47,883 --> 00:40:49,118
- It's good to see you.
- Yeah.

977
00:40:49,151 --> 00:40:51,087
- You look fat.
- (laughs)

978
00:40:54,291 --> 00:40:56,226
FAITH:
Hmm.

979
00:40:56,260 --> 00:40:57,793
Divine, Ann.

980
00:40:57,827 --> 00:41:00,162
- You have to tell me your secret sometime.
- Mm.

981
00:41:03,132 --> 00:41:04,834
I would never tell you.

982
00:41:05,868 --> 00:41:07,870
I'll never tell her.

983
00:41:07,903 --> 00:41:10,006
- Cream, two sugars. (laughs)
- Oh.

984
00:41:10,039 --> 00:41:12,141
- No, that's not how I take it.
- I know, but...

985
00:41:12,174 --> 00:41:13,943
Um, and here-here's
some streusel I made for you,

986
00:41:13,976 --> 00:41:15,579
- and, um, it's still warm.
- No, no, no, no, Ann, I can't.

987
00:41:15,612 --> 00:41:17,146
- And then these are cookies I made for you.
- I can't.

988
00:41:17,179 --> 00:41:18,180
- I'm getting fat. I can't do that.
- They're...

989
00:41:18,215 --> 00:41:19,081
- They're called the Garys, though.
- Thank you.

990
00:41:19,115 --> 00:41:20,883
- I made these...
- I know. I appreciate it.

991
00:41:20,916 --> 00:41:21,685
- Thank you. Okay.
- Yeah. Okay.

992
00:41:21,718 --> 00:41:22,952
- Okay, bye-bye.
- All right, then.

993
00:41:22,985 --> 00:41:23,986
Thank you. All right, then.

994
00:41:24,020 --> 00:41:25,054
- Bye-bye. Have a good day.
- Okay.

995
00:41:25,087 --> 00:41:27,123
- Up all night for nothing.
- (door closes, opens)

996
00:41:27,156 --> 00:41:28,924
- Coming back. There you go.
- All right, just today.

997
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:30,192
- Okay. (laughs)
- Yeah. Thank you.

998
00:41:30,227 --> 00:41:31,595
Bye-bye, now. Bye-bye.

999
00:41:31,628 --> 00:41:33,062
Bye, Gar.

1000
00:41:33,095 --> 00:41:34,864
(door closes)

1001
00:41:34,897 --> 00:41:36,233
GARY:
Have a good one.

1002
00:41:36,266 --> 00:41:38,335
(sighs)

1003
00:41:49,011 --> 00:41:50,946
(closes drawer)

1004
00:41:53,015 --> 00:41:55,184
- Okay, good night.
- GARY: Oh, hey.

1005
00:41:55,218 --> 00:41:57,186
Good night. I didn't know
anybody else was here.

1006
00:41:57,220 --> 00:41:58,388
I just wanted to make sure

1007
00:41:58,422 --> 00:42:00,257
everything was set
for tomorrow.

1008
00:42:00,290 --> 00:42:02,858
I was just finishing up
these pamphlets on immigration.

1009
00:42:02,892 --> 00:42:04,093
Ooh. (chuckles)

1010
00:42:04,126 --> 00:42:05,462
That sounds complicated.

1011
00:42:05,495 --> 00:42:07,230
I hope the small minds
can manage.

1012
00:42:09,065 --> 00:42:10,634
(sighs)
I'm sorry about that.

1013
00:42:10,667 --> 00:42:13,303
Sometimes,
messaging for the base

1014
00:42:13,337 --> 00:42:16,839
doesn't resonate
with the broader electorate.

1015
00:42:17,674 --> 00:42:20,210
Oh, okay.

1016
00:42:20,243 --> 00:42:24,914
So, to flatter them,
you have to condescend to us.

1017
00:42:26,115 --> 00:42:28,218
I get it.

1018
00:42:28,251 --> 00:42:31,120
Uh, no, no, that wasn't...

1019
00:42:31,153 --> 00:42:33,256
that wasn't what...

1020
00:42:38,228 --> 00:42:40,230
Sorry.

1021
00:42:42,064 --> 00:42:43,500
How's your dad doing?

1022
00:42:43,533 --> 00:42:45,435
Is he okay? Nervous?

1023
00:42:45,469 --> 00:42:47,471
No. (chuckles)

1024
00:42:47,504 --> 00:42:50,273
No? Well, why would he be?
He's been through a war.

1025
00:42:50,307 --> 00:42:52,007
He's not gonna sweat
a fish fry.

1026
00:42:52,041 --> 00:42:54,244
- No, he doesn't really get nervous.
- Mm-mm.

1027
00:42:54,277 --> 00:42:56,178
Just quiet.

1028
00:42:57,214 --> 00:42:59,081
Right.

1029
00:43:03,553 --> 00:43:05,489
Runs in the family.

1030
00:43:05,522 --> 00:43:07,156
(chuckles softly)

1031
00:43:09,426 --> 00:43:13,162
- Maybe.
- Oh. (laughing)

1032
00:43:14,163 --> 00:43:15,499
Yes, my, uh...

1033
00:43:15,532 --> 00:43:19,503
my mom was really
more of the talker.

1034
00:43:19,536 --> 00:43:22,305
She was...
(inhales deeply)

1035
00:43:24,039 --> 00:43:26,443
You ever know anyone
that just lit up a room?

1036
00:43:29,279 --> 00:43:30,480
Mm-hmm.

1037
00:43:30,514 --> 00:43:32,181
Well, she was that.
(laughs)

1038
00:43:32,215 --> 00:43:33,717
Yeah.

1039
00:43:33,750 --> 00:43:35,452
- She sounds great.
- Yeah.

1040
00:43:37,153 --> 00:43:40,122
So, why did your dad
get involved with all this?

1041
00:43:40,156 --> 00:43:43,058
I mean, why speak
at that meeting?

1042
00:43:43,092 --> 00:43:47,330
Why run when it involves
talking and people?

1043
00:43:47,364 --> 00:43:49,165
(Diana chuckles)

1044
00:43:49,198 --> 00:43:52,502
I think he just loves
this town.

1045
00:43:52,536 --> 00:43:56,473
You know, I think he'd do
anything to save it.

1046
00:43:56,506 --> 00:43:58,974
What about you?

1047
00:43:59,008 --> 00:44:01,545
(chuckles)

1048
00:44:01,578 --> 00:44:04,347
Uh, I guess I would do

1049
00:44:04,381 --> 00:44:08,050
just about anything
to save him.

1050
00:44:09,486 --> 00:44:11,254
(chuckles)

1051
00:44:13,022 --> 00:44:15,258
- (polka music playing)
- (lively chatter)

1052
00:44:16,426 --> 00:44:19,296
(food sizzling)

1053
00:44:19,329 --> 00:44:21,264
Okay. You have a good day, now.

1054
00:44:21,298 --> 00:44:23,098
JACK:
I'll just take one.

1055
00:44:25,502 --> 00:44:27,204
Hey. How are you this evening?

1056
00:44:27,237 --> 00:44:29,573
Pamphlet?
Vote for Colonel Jack.

1057
00:44:29,606 --> 00:44:31,775
Colonel Jack pamphlet.

1058
00:44:31,808 --> 00:44:33,477
Vote for Colonel Jack.

1059
00:44:33,510 --> 00:44:35,479
(indistinct chatter)

1060
00:44:35,512 --> 00:44:37,247
How are y'all doing?

1061
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:38,515
...incredible database.

1062
00:44:38,548 --> 00:44:40,383
- Yeah.
- And all your information is in there.

1063
00:44:40,417 --> 00:44:42,519
(indistinct chatter continues)

1064
00:44:49,559 --> 00:44:51,628
Hey, Gary. Sorry I'm late.

1065
00:44:51,661 --> 00:44:54,129
I was just waiting for these
to get finished.

1066
00:44:54,163 --> 00:44:55,632
Beer Koozies might be
a little more helpful

1067
00:44:55,665 --> 00:44:57,267
than just the pamphlets.

1068
00:44:58,535 --> 00:45:01,103
FAITH: And this is
actually very simple.

1069
00:45:01,136 --> 00:45:03,306
You just type in
your family's name...

1070
00:45:03,340 --> 00:45:05,442
DIANA:
How big is that booth?

1071
00:45:08,411 --> 00:45:09,813
- Faith.
- Gary.

1072
00:45:09,846 --> 00:45:12,382
You seem to be doing
a brisk business.

1073
00:45:12,415 --> 00:45:14,217
"Deerlaken: always."

1074
00:45:14,251 --> 00:45:16,185
So, apparently,

1075
00:45:16,219 --> 00:45:18,321
"Deerlaken über alles"
was copyrighted?

1076
00:45:18,355 --> 00:45:20,223
Well, we were gonna go with
"I'm with him"

1077
00:45:20,257 --> 00:45:22,057
until we remembered
how fucking stupid it sounded.

1078
00:45:22,091 --> 00:45:23,460
No, no, no, no.
I love it.

1079
00:45:23,493 --> 00:45:25,629
I love the whole
town genealogy angle.

1080
00:45:25,662 --> 00:45:27,464
It's got a real bold

1081
00:45:27,497 --> 00:45:29,466
"you ain't from around here"
flavor.

1082
00:45:29,499 --> 00:45:31,434
- (laughs)
- With subtle notes of,

1083
00:45:31,468 --> 00:45:33,270
- uh, xenophobia.
- (laughs)

1084
00:45:33,303 --> 00:45:35,272
Not to mention
the cognitive dissonance

1085
00:45:35,305 --> 00:45:37,574
that your booth is basically
a love letter to immigration.

1086
00:45:37,607 --> 00:45:39,074
That's a great observation.

1087
00:45:39,108 --> 00:45:40,577
So all these people
are hypocrites?

1088
00:45:40,610 --> 00:45:42,479
- I'd run with that.
- All you have is fear.

1089
00:45:42,512 --> 00:45:43,847
- Now we're getting somewhere.
- (giggles)

1090
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,549
20 bucks says
I do better with fear

1091
00:45:45,582 --> 00:45:46,850
than you do with shame.

1092
00:45:46,883 --> 00:45:48,117
- Oh.
- MICHAEL: Okay.

1093
00:45:48,150 --> 00:45:49,386
It's all set, Miss Brewster.

1094
00:45:49,419 --> 00:45:51,288
(gasps)
Thank you, sweetie.

1095
00:45:51,321 --> 00:45:53,557
GARY:
Well, well, well.

1096
00:45:53,590 --> 00:45:55,492
I'm really sorry, Mr. Z.

1097
00:45:55,525 --> 00:45:57,527
I like working
with you guys, but...

1098
00:45:57,561 --> 00:45:59,629
I'm saving up for a car,
and she's paying us.

1099
00:45:59,663 --> 00:46:01,464
(mocking):
"Eh, she's paying us."

1100
00:46:01,498 --> 00:46:05,702
Wow, way to stand up for
what you believe in there...

1101
00:46:05,735 --> 00:46:08,338
- M... Michael.
- It's Michael.

1102
00:46:08,371 --> 00:46:10,273
- Michael. I know his name is Michael.
- His name is Michael.

1103
00:46:10,307 --> 00:46:11,474
- No, you don't.
- I know it.

1104
00:46:11,508 --> 00:46:13,510
- I was pausing for effect, Michael.
- It's okay, Michael.

1105
00:46:13,543 --> 00:46:16,413
- Character is destiny, Michael.
- Oh, don't listen to him.

1106
00:46:16,446 --> 00:46:18,348
- Character is destiny.
- He's a jerk. Oof.

1107
00:46:18,381 --> 00:46:19,649
Good burn.

1108
00:46:19,683 --> 00:46:21,585
Jack has lived here
for 30 years.

1109
00:46:21,618 --> 00:46:23,453
You really think
you can run a campaign

1110
00:46:23,486 --> 00:46:25,455
that paints him
as a carpetbagger?

1111
00:46:25,488 --> 00:46:28,190
Probably not, but I think I can
run one that says you are.

1112
00:46:28,224 --> 00:46:29,593
- MAN: Beer Koozie?
- Oh, my God.

1113
00:46:31,227 --> 00:46:33,463
Oh. Hastings Koozie?

1114
00:46:33,496 --> 00:46:35,465
- Yeah.
- Touché.

1115
00:46:35,498 --> 00:46:36,633
That's right.
That's in our booth.

1116
00:46:36,666 --> 00:46:38,668
- What do you think of that?
- MAN: Yeah, I'll take one.

1117
00:46:38,702 --> 00:46:41,204
What do you think of that
right there?

1118
00:46:41,237 --> 00:46:43,406
- Boom, boom. What do you think of that?
- (gasps)

1119
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,308
- I don't...
- DOT: Oh.

1120
00:46:45,342 --> 00:46:47,377
Sorry. Not you, Dot.

1121
00:46:48,645 --> 00:46:50,614
- DIANA: Hi.
- (sighing): Oh, Dot.

1122
00:46:50,647 --> 00:46:53,249
- (polka music continues)
- (lively chatter)

1123
00:46:55,452 --> 00:46:57,220
(laughing softly)

1124
00:46:57,253 --> 00:46:58,722
Oh. (chuckles)

1125
00:46:58,755 --> 00:47:01,123
♪ ♪

1126
00:47:08,498 --> 00:47:10,500
DIANA:
Oh. (chuckles)

1127
00:47:10,533 --> 00:47:12,502
(sighs, chuckles)

1128
00:47:19,275 --> 00:47:20,744
(chuckling)

1129
00:47:22,612 --> 00:47:24,280
Whoa.

1130
00:47:25,649 --> 00:47:27,651
(Diana laughing)

1131
00:47:40,630 --> 00:47:42,499
GARY:
We're not doing this.

1132
00:47:42,532 --> 00:47:43,667
What?

1133
00:47:43,700 --> 00:47:45,535
GARY:
Ugh.

1134
00:47:45,568 --> 00:47:48,571
- You go through my stuff?
- (papers rustling)

1135
00:47:50,273 --> 00:47:52,208
Why here?
You have your own room.

1136
00:47:52,242 --> 00:47:53,710
I don't want to smoke alone.

1137
00:47:53,743 --> 00:47:55,311
Oh, come on. Are...

1138
00:47:55,345 --> 00:47:56,646
Really?

1139
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,381
(Faith laughs)

1140
00:47:58,415 --> 00:48:01,484
Gary, I'm bored.

1141
00:48:01,518 --> 00:48:03,553
Please, can we just forget it?

1142
00:48:03,586 --> 00:48:04,721
You've made your point.

1143
00:48:04,754 --> 00:48:06,423
There's Democrats
with calloused hands.

1144
00:48:06,456 --> 00:48:09,259
Gonna bode very well
for the midterms, I promise.

1145
00:48:09,292 --> 00:48:10,727
Now, can we just all go back
to Washington

1146
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:13,229
and forget that we ever
made camp in a place

1147
00:48:13,263 --> 00:48:15,699
where the shit you skim
off milk is considered a food?

1148
00:48:15,732 --> 00:48:18,368
They are called cheese curds,
and they are delicious.

1149
00:48:18,401 --> 00:48:19,536
They're disgusting.

1150
00:48:19,569 --> 00:48:21,371
And you can't make poutine
without them.

1151
00:48:21,404 --> 00:48:22,806
- Come on. Please.
- Go.

1152
00:48:22,839 --> 00:48:24,774
You can go.
You don't have to be here.

1153
00:48:24,808 --> 00:48:26,543
I made these people a promise.

1154
00:48:26,576 --> 00:48:27,811
I'm a good person.

1155
00:48:27,844 --> 00:48:29,345
It's your last chance, Zim.

1156
00:48:29,379 --> 00:48:30,814
I'm gonna make
a big deal of this.

1157
00:48:30,847 --> 00:48:33,516
Tons of press, lots of money.
You're gonna lose,

1158
00:48:33,550 --> 00:48:35,518
and then you're gonna look
like a giant asshole.

1159
00:48:35,552 --> 00:48:37,020
Good. That's what I want.

1160
00:48:37,053 --> 00:48:40,690
Not the asshole but for you
to make a big deal of this.

1161
00:48:40,724 --> 00:48:43,326
I want it to be a big deal.
It is a big deal.

1162
00:48:43,359 --> 00:48:44,828
Well, let's make it
interesting.

1163
00:48:44,861 --> 00:48:45,995
Okay, why don't we?

1164
00:48:46,029 --> 00:48:49,599
The loser has to eat the
winner's pussy out for an hour.

1165
00:48:49,632 --> 00:48:53,369
You better grab a big old bib,
'cause it's chow time.

1166
00:48:53,403 --> 00:48:54,637
(snickers)

1167
00:48:54,671 --> 00:48:56,339
Dick chow time.

1168
00:48:56,372 --> 00:48:57,874
'Cause I'm gonna win,

1169
00:48:57,907 --> 00:49:00,744
- and you're gonna have to eat my dick for an hour.
- Wha...

1170
00:49:00,777 --> 00:49:02,479
GARY (in distance):
And you know something?

1171
00:49:02,512 --> 00:49:04,547
That's a long time,
dick-eating-wise.

1172
00:49:04,581 --> 00:49:05,715
(door closes)

1173
00:49:06,750 --> 00:49:08,885
A long time!

1174
00:49:08,918 --> 00:49:11,287
To eat my dick.

1175
00:49:12,522 --> 00:49:15,358
(intense music playing)

1176
00:49:15,391 --> 00:49:16,860
NARRATOR:
<i>In a dangerous world</i>

1177
00:49:16,893 --> 00:49:18,628
- <i>gone mad...</i>
- (roaring)

1178
00:49:18,661 --> 00:49:20,897
<i>we need emotionally stable
leadership.</i>

1179
00:49:20,930 --> 00:49:23,366
(distorted, maniacal laughing)

1180
00:49:23,399 --> 00:49:25,668
<i>Only Mayor Braun
is stable enough</i>

1181
00:49:25,702 --> 00:49:27,904
<i>to keep Deerlaken safe,</i>

1182
00:49:27,937 --> 00:49:30,507
<i>to keep Deerlaken Deerlaken.</i>

1183
00:49:30,540 --> 00:49:32,308
(laughing)

1184
00:49:32,342 --> 00:49:33,810
I got you.

1185
00:49:33,843 --> 00:49:36,813
I'm Mayor Braun,
and I approve this message.

1186
00:49:36,846 --> 00:49:38,081
Here.

1187
00:49:38,114 --> 00:49:40,517
ANNOUNCER: <i>Paid for by
Traditional Wisconsin Families</i>

1188
00:49:40,550 --> 00:49:41,851
<i>for Faith and Freedom.</i>

1189
00:49:41,885 --> 00:49:44,721
- (phones ringing)
- (indistinct chatter)

1190
00:49:44,754 --> 00:49:46,790
FAITH: They've taken the office
just across from mine.

1191
00:49:46,823 --> 00:49:48,091
They're definitely ramping up,

1192
00:49:48,124 --> 00:49:50,426
so I'm gonna need
the full crew.

1193
00:49:50,460 --> 00:49:53,463
If Zimmer wants to take a stand
in Turdsville, USA,

1194
00:49:53,496 --> 00:49:55,098
I say we bury him here.

1195
00:49:55,131 --> 00:49:56,566
Sorry.

1196
00:49:56,599 --> 00:49:57,834
Not a turd.

1197
00:49:57,867 --> 00:49:59,669
Heart and soul of America.

1198
00:49:59,702 --> 00:50:01,671
Get me the nerdy guy
from analytics.

1199
00:50:01,704 --> 00:50:04,374
- MAN (on phone): Who's that?
- I don't know his name.

1200
00:50:04,407 --> 00:50:06,109
He wears glasses and plaid.

1201
00:50:06,142 --> 00:50:08,378
- Has a very complicated beard.
- Which one?

1202
00:50:08,411 --> 00:50:11,447
FAITH: How the fuck does that
not narrow it down? I...

1203
00:50:11,481 --> 00:50:13,716
- God fucking damn it.
- What?

1204
00:50:13,750 --> 00:50:16,419
And send me everyone
by yesterday.

1205
00:50:16,452 --> 00:50:17,821
(over phone):
I'll get on it.

1206
00:50:17,854 --> 00:50:19,522
- (slams phone on table)
- (exhales)

1207
00:50:30,466 --> 00:50:31,935
GARY:
Sor... Hey, Dot.

1208
00:50:34,771 --> 00:50:36,372
- ANN: Gary.
- KURT: Hey, big guy?

1209
00:50:36,406 --> 00:50:38,441
- Yes.
- We got a problem.

1210
00:50:39,742 --> 00:50:40,910
What's up?

1211
00:50:40,944 --> 00:50:43,413
Having trouble
rounding up focus groups?

1212
00:50:43,446 --> 00:50:44,581
No.

1213
00:50:44,614 --> 00:50:45,882
- (dial-up modem droning, beeping)
- Shh.

1214
00:50:49,185 --> 00:50:51,521
KURT (scoffs):
I don't even know what to say.

1215
00:50:51,554 --> 00:50:53,723
Hey, hey, everybody.

1216
00:50:53,756 --> 00:50:56,559
Do we know why we have dial-up
in this space?

1217
00:50:56,593 --> 00:50:57,760
MAN:
Duffy had it upgraded

1218
00:50:57,794 --> 00:50:59,629
right before
he closed the shop.

1219
00:50:59,662 --> 00:51:00,663
Upgraded from what?

1220
00:51:01,898 --> 00:51:03,900
- Nothing.
- Well, is there any way

1221
00:51:03,933 --> 00:51:06,002
we can piggyback Wi-Fi
from someplace?

1222
00:51:06,035 --> 00:51:08,671
Uh, there's a place where the
kids go and they do homework

1223
00:51:08,705 --> 00:51:09,873
and they play games
and whatnot.

1224
00:51:09,906 --> 00:51:12,575
- I know the password.
- GARY: Okay.

1225
00:51:12,609 --> 00:51:14,644
- Solving problems.
- ANN: Nice!

1226
00:51:14,677 --> 00:51:16,679
(typing)

1227
00:51:20,617 --> 00:51:21,851
(knocking on window)

1228
00:51:21,885 --> 00:51:23,887
(Gary sighs)

1229
00:51:25,822 --> 00:51:29,759
Listen, I... I don't think
you're allowed to be here

1230
00:51:29,792 --> 00:51:32,896
unless you're on official
school business, so...

1231
00:51:32,929 --> 00:51:35,565
Okay, look, uh, Officer...

1232
00:51:35,598 --> 00:51:37,467
- Tommy.
- Officer Tommy.

1233
00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:40,003
Um, we are with
the Hastings campaign,

1234
00:51:40,036 --> 00:51:42,572
and we're trying to get
some work done here.

1235
00:51:42,605 --> 00:51:44,007
It's sort of time-sensitive.

1236
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,043
So... um, okay, here we go.

1237
00:51:47,076 --> 00:51:48,978
Here is a pen.

1238
00:51:49,012 --> 00:51:51,215
- Okay.
- And...

1239
00:51:51,248 --> 00:51:53,650
- one of these beer thingies.
- KURT: Koozie.

1240
00:51:53,683 --> 00:51:56,519
Koozie, and, uh...

1241
00:51:56,552 --> 00:51:58,721
thank you for your service.

1242
00:52:04,060 --> 00:52:06,429
(typing continues)

1243
00:52:11,868 --> 00:52:14,604
- (knocking on window)
- Oh, for God sakes.

1244
00:52:15,939 --> 00:52:18,975
Hello, boys.

1245
00:52:19,008 --> 00:52:20,843
(muffled):
Gentlemen, these are children!

1246
00:52:20,877 --> 00:52:22,612
- DIANA: Hey. - Hi.
- Children!

1247
00:52:22,645 --> 00:52:25,048
- Great job, guys.
- And do you know what that looked like?

1248
00:52:25,081 --> 00:52:26,816
Sitting in your car?

1249
00:52:26,849 --> 00:52:28,918
A bunch of boys
on the computer?

1250
00:52:30,086 --> 00:52:32,855
(clapping)

1251
00:52:35,124 --> 00:52:37,560
No, no, no. Thank you.

1252
00:52:37,593 --> 00:52:40,596
So, I see they sprung you
from detention, huh?

1253
00:52:40,630 --> 00:52:42,065
Yeah, apparently,
small-town hospitality

1254
00:52:42,098 --> 00:52:44,268
doesn't apply to Wi-Fi.

1255
00:52:44,301 --> 00:52:45,935
They're not too keen
on strangers staking out

1256
00:52:45,969 --> 00:52:47,937
a school parking lot...
you know, kids and all.

1257
00:52:47,971 --> 00:52:49,739
Yeah, in hindsight,
that makes complete sense.

1258
00:52:49,772 --> 00:52:50,974
JACK:
Mm-hmm.

1259
00:52:51,007 --> 00:52:52,976
Guys, could I talk to you
for a sec?

1260
00:52:53,009 --> 00:52:54,110
- Yeah.
- My office.

1261
00:52:54,143 --> 00:52:56,079
Come on in. Have a seat.

1262
00:52:56,112 --> 00:52:57,981
You can leave the door open.

1263
00:52:58,014 --> 00:52:59,782
- Here's the deal.
- (claps)

1264
00:52:59,816 --> 00:53:02,118
Our opponents are pumping
way more into this

1265
00:53:02,151 --> 00:53:04,053
than I ever expected them to.

1266
00:53:04,087 --> 00:53:07,056
- DIANA: Huh.
- This rinky-dink stuff is not gonna fly.

1267
00:53:07,090 --> 00:53:09,125
We need to up
our fundraising game.

1268
00:53:09,158 --> 00:53:11,060
Okay. That's...

1269
00:53:11,094 --> 00:53:13,930
Sure. Do you want to do, uh,
like, a street fair or...?

1270
00:53:13,963 --> 00:53:15,932
- That's a good idea.
- (Gary chuckles)

1271
00:53:15,965 --> 00:53:17,600
No, it's not a good idea.

1272
00:53:17,633 --> 00:53:19,736
Don't... No, we're not
gonna do that.

1273
00:53:19,769 --> 00:53:21,771
Have you ever been to New York?

1274
00:53:21,804 --> 00:53:23,740
(dial-up modem droning)

1275
00:53:25,174 --> 00:53:27,577
Oh, my God, please unplug it.

1276
00:53:27,610 --> 00:53:29,012
Please unplug it.

1277
00:53:29,045 --> 00:53:30,580
(droning continues)

1278
00:53:30,613 --> 00:53:32,615
Unplug it!

1279
00:53:32,648 --> 00:53:34,083
(food crunching)

1280
00:53:34,117 --> 00:53:36,719
GARY: I'm just looking
at the guest list here.

1281
00:53:36,753 --> 00:53:38,955
Great. Great turnout.

1282
00:53:38,988 --> 00:53:41,758
Especially considering
the short notice.

1283
00:53:41,791 --> 00:53:43,126
Really good.

1284
00:53:43,159 --> 00:53:44,727
(exhales slowly)

1285
00:53:44,761 --> 00:53:47,630
Mmm. You ever have
one of those?

1286
00:53:49,766 --> 00:53:51,734
Yeah, green beans.

1287
00:53:51,768 --> 00:53:53,036
Haricot vert.

1288
00:53:53,069 --> 00:53:54,604
(green bean crunching)

1289
00:53:54,637 --> 00:53:57,707
Isn't that French
for "green beans"?

1290
00:53:57,740 --> 00:54:00,043
These are more delicate.

1291
00:54:00,076 --> 00:54:01,878
Thinner, more flavorful.

1292
00:54:04,914 --> 00:54:07,717
- I didn't know you spoke French.
- Mm.

1293
00:54:10,387 --> 00:54:11,954
Would you like something?

1294
00:54:11,988 --> 00:54:14,090
No, no.

1295
00:54:15,691 --> 00:54:17,193
(crunching)

1296
00:54:17,227 --> 00:54:19,562
This too loud?

1297
00:54:23,199 --> 00:54:25,034
(clears throat quietly)

1298
00:54:26,403 --> 00:54:28,738
(grunting softly)

1299
00:54:32,242 --> 00:54:34,043
(swallows)

1300
00:54:34,077 --> 00:54:36,079
(grunting)

1301
00:54:42,985 --> 00:54:44,620
(coughs quietly)

1302
00:54:49,992 --> 00:54:51,661
- (elevator bell dings)
- Richard and Ginnie Peeler

1303
00:54:51,694 --> 00:54:52,662
are hosting.

1304
00:54:52,695 --> 00:54:53,996
He's a hedge fund swell.

1305
00:54:54,030 --> 00:54:56,199
She's been saving the Hudson
for about 25 years.

1306
00:54:56,233 --> 00:54:58,067
Richard Peeler. Yeah?

1307
00:54:58,101 --> 00:54:59,869
Got it.

1308
00:55:01,904 --> 00:55:03,906
Are you, like, 12?

1309
00:55:05,741 --> 00:55:07,110
- (both chuckle)
- (elevator bell dings)

1310
00:55:07,143 --> 00:55:09,213
RICHARD: It's not only that
the sand traps are deeper,

1311
00:55:09,246 --> 00:55:11,681
but the quality
of the sand at...

1312
00:55:11,714 --> 00:55:13,082
Excuse me. Gary! Hey.

1313
00:55:13,116 --> 00:55:15,118
Dick Peeler.

1314
00:55:15,151 --> 00:55:17,820
RICHARD:
Gary, thank you for coming.

1315
00:55:17,854 --> 00:55:19,889
GARY: Oh, my pleasure.
Thanks for having us.

1316
00:55:19,922 --> 00:55:21,190
RICHARD: Well, we're
really, really excited.

1317
00:55:21,225 --> 00:55:23,659
GARY:
We're excited. Jack! Jack!

1318
00:55:23,693 --> 00:55:25,094
I'd like you to meet
Richard Peeler.

1319
00:55:25,128 --> 00:55:26,195
- What an honor.
- Colonel Jack Hastings.

1320
00:55:26,230 --> 00:55:27,997
- Oh.
- Very nice to meet you.

1321
00:55:28,030 --> 00:55:29,999
- Thank you for... having us.
- Oh, it's really an honor.

1322
00:55:30,032 --> 00:55:32,034
- And, uh...
- Yeah.

1323
00:55:32,068 --> 00:55:34,837
No, it's, uh, you know,
the authentic thing here.

1324
00:55:34,871 --> 00:55:36,206
I see that. It's amazing.

1325
00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:38,107
Uh, can I get you
something to drink?

1326
00:55:38,141 --> 00:55:39,842
Sure. What would you like?

1327
00:55:39,876 --> 00:55:42,912
Uh, I'd like a little, uh, tea.

1328
00:55:42,945 --> 00:55:44,914
Chamomile if you have it.

1329
00:55:44,947 --> 00:55:46,149
(laughs) All right.

1330
00:55:46,182 --> 00:55:47,750
That's fine.
You want a Scotch.

1331
00:55:47,783 --> 00:55:49,051
- Yes, please.
- Yes, I know that.

1332
00:55:51,988 --> 00:55:55,057
(indistinct conversations)

1333
00:55:56,893 --> 00:55:58,728
MAN:
He's a criminal.

1334
00:55:58,761 --> 00:55:59,962
Oh, thank you.

1335
00:55:59,996 --> 00:56:01,164
He's a criminal.

1336
00:56:01,197 --> 00:56:02,798
Trust me,
I've done deals with him.

1337
00:56:02,832 --> 00:56:04,268
WOMAN:
Our democracy is falling apart.

1338
00:56:04,301 --> 00:56:05,768
We're gonna lose it.

1339
00:56:05,801 --> 00:56:07,271
Tom Friedman had a great line.

1340
00:56:07,304 --> 00:56:09,705
MAN: I like to say he's
the Bitcoin of presidents.

1341
00:56:09,739 --> 00:56:11,475
WOMAN: Her whole dress line
was made in China.

1342
00:56:11,508 --> 00:56:13,243
WOMAN:
The man is mentally ill.

1343
00:56:13,277 --> 00:56:14,877
MAN:
Fuckface von Clownstick.

1344
00:56:14,911 --> 00:56:16,712
MAN:
I'm mad? We should all be mad.

1345
00:56:16,746 --> 00:56:19,048
MAN: I mean, what kind
of person hunts elephants?

1346
00:56:19,081 --> 00:56:21,318
And there's not a whole lot
of the, um...

1347
00:56:21,351 --> 00:56:22,919
What did you call that?

1348
00:56:22,952 --> 00:56:24,921
- Uh, farm-to-table.
- The farm-to-table.

1349
00:56:24,954 --> 00:56:29,158
I mean, I guess
it all kind of, uh...

1350
00:56:29,192 --> 00:56:33,963
all goes from farms to tables
of some kind.

1351
00:56:37,234 --> 00:56:39,902
RICHARD: We're so excited
that you're all here.

1352
00:56:39,936 --> 00:56:42,104
And we are so thankful

1353
00:56:42,138 --> 00:56:44,208
to our old friend
for presenting us

1354
00:56:44,241 --> 00:56:47,877
with another informative and,
uh, just stimulating evening.

1355
00:56:47,910 --> 00:56:50,012
- Oh.
- (laughter)

1356
00:56:50,046 --> 00:56:51,948
RICHARD:
You know him. You love him.

1357
00:56:51,981 --> 00:56:53,749
- And sometimes hate.
- (laughter)

1358
00:56:53,783 --> 00:56:56,852
- Hate writing the checks, but, uh, you know.
- Yeah.

1359
00:56:58,087 --> 00:57:00,224
- Gary.
- Thank you. Thanks so much.

1360
00:57:00,257 --> 00:57:01,891
Thanks for coming.

1361
00:57:01,924 --> 00:57:03,092
And thank you...

1362
00:57:03,125 --> 00:57:05,229
Keep that going
for the Peelers, please.

1363
00:57:05,262 --> 00:57:07,964
Their tremendous hospitality.

1364
00:57:07,997 --> 00:57:10,234
Listen, I'm not gonna take up
too much of your time

1365
00:57:10,267 --> 00:57:13,069
other than to say
thank you all for being here.

1366
00:57:13,102 --> 00:57:16,105
One thing I do want to say,
though, is that

1367
00:57:16,138 --> 00:57:20,009
Colonel Jack Hastings
is the embodiment

1368
00:57:20,042 --> 00:57:22,178
of America's real greatness.

1369
00:57:22,212 --> 00:57:26,182
Service to nation,
hard work, faith.

1370
00:57:26,216 --> 00:57:29,286
Republicans don't own
those values, do they?

1371
00:57:29,319 --> 00:57:31,020
- (crowd murmuring)
- They don't own 'em.

1372
00:57:31,053 --> 00:57:32,989
They can't.

1373
00:57:33,022 --> 00:57:34,291
Inclusion.

1374
00:57:34,324 --> 00:57:35,992
That's the most important
of all.

1375
00:57:36,025 --> 00:57:37,994
But sometimes,
we get comfortable

1376
00:57:38,027 --> 00:57:39,862
in our own little
ideological bubbles.

1377
00:57:39,895 --> 00:57:41,265
I see them.

1378
00:57:41,298 --> 00:57:43,165
You can't see them,
necessarily, but I see 'em.

1379
00:57:43,199 --> 00:57:44,568
There's a little bubble there.

1380
00:57:44,601 --> 00:57:46,403
- (laughter)
- There's a little bubble there.

1381
00:57:46,436 --> 00:57:48,871
And we forget to reach out.

1382
00:57:48,904 --> 00:57:51,341
To find empathy
and understanding

1383
00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:55,144
across religious or racial

1384
00:57:55,177 --> 00:57:58,014
or just plain geographical
boundaries.

1385
00:57:58,047 --> 00:58:00,983
And I hope tonight changes
that, even just a little bit.

1386
00:58:02,018 --> 00:58:04,221
So, without further ado,

1387
00:58:04,254 --> 00:58:06,856
I would like you to join me
in welcoming

1388
00:58:06,889 --> 00:58:10,394
the next mayor of
Deerlaken, Wisconsin,

1389
00:58:10,427 --> 00:58:12,928
Colonel Jack Hastings.

1390
00:58:12,962 --> 00:58:14,997
- (applause, whooping)
- MAN: Hear, hear.

1391
00:58:19,436 --> 00:58:22,372
Uh, uh... thanks, folks.

1392
00:58:22,406 --> 00:58:25,609
And thanks to Gary

1393
00:58:25,642 --> 00:58:28,445
- and to the Peelers.
- RICHARD: Thank you.

1394
00:58:28,478 --> 00:58:31,180
Wow, this is a great house.

1395
00:58:31,214 --> 00:58:33,149
It's a great house.

1396
00:58:33,182 --> 00:58:35,285
Um...

1397
00:58:35,319 --> 00:58:37,119
(chuckles quietly)

1398
00:58:37,153 --> 00:58:39,922
I see some of you are...

1399
00:58:39,955 --> 00:58:42,359
wondering what I'm doing here.

1400
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:44,894
And...

1401
00:58:46,095 --> 00:58:48,799
I think I'm wondering the same.

1402
00:58:50,032 --> 00:58:51,435
Uh...

1403
00:58:51,468 --> 00:58:53,836
I guess that's the point.

1404
00:58:55,238 --> 00:58:58,874
Without all this,
you might never have met me.

1405
00:58:58,908 --> 00:59:02,245
And I certainly
wouldn't have met you.

1406
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:05,114
But...

1407
00:59:06,516 --> 00:59:08,851
...uh, now we have.

1408
00:59:10,152 --> 00:59:11,655
(sighs)

1409
00:59:11,688 --> 00:59:14,224
So, uh...

1410
00:59:17,059 --> 00:59:18,228
Um...

1411
00:59:18,261 --> 00:59:20,096
Colonel, Colonel.

1412
00:59:20,129 --> 00:59:22,432
- Yeah.
- Gary Zimmer from "The D.C. Bugle."

1413
00:59:22,466 --> 00:59:25,034
- (laughter)
- Um, why...

1414
00:59:25,067 --> 00:59:29,071
why should a bunch of uptight
Upper West Siders care about

1415
00:59:29,105 --> 00:59:30,906
a little town in Wisconsin?

1416
00:59:30,940 --> 00:59:32,676
(quiet murmuring)

1417
00:59:32,709 --> 00:59:35,212
Uh, it's hard to say.

1418
00:59:36,279 --> 00:59:38,382
I guess we're hurting,

1419
00:59:38,415 --> 00:59:41,418
looking for help from you.

1420
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,389
What can we do to help?

1421
00:59:45,422 --> 00:59:47,524
I'll take that. Money.

1422
00:59:47,557 --> 00:59:49,459
- (laughter)
- Money.

1423
00:59:49,493 --> 00:59:52,396
It's a serious question,
actually.

1424
00:59:52,429 --> 00:59:55,298
You know,
our politics seem broken.

1425
00:59:55,332 --> 00:59:59,902
Colonel, what do you see is
the system's greatest weakness?

1426
01:00:03,005 --> 01:00:06,510
Hmm, well, I guess,
for one thing,

1427
01:00:06,543 --> 01:00:09,111
this.

1428
01:00:09,145 --> 01:00:10,913
Here, tonight.

1429
01:00:12,382 --> 01:00:15,419
And I mean no disrespect.

1430
01:00:16,753 --> 01:00:20,089
I just think
this seems a bit crazy.

1431
01:00:20,122 --> 01:00:22,191
I want to help my town.

1432
01:00:22,225 --> 01:00:24,160
I want to be mayor,

1433
01:00:24,193 --> 01:00:27,297
some town in the middle
of Wisconsin.

1434
01:00:27,330 --> 01:00:29,266
So, instead of being home

1435
01:00:29,299 --> 01:00:32,302
working on some smart things
to help my town,

1436
01:00:32,335 --> 01:00:35,205
I have to fly here to your town

1437
01:00:35,238 --> 01:00:38,174
and convince you
that my town's worth saving.

1438
01:00:38,208 --> 01:00:41,043
And that I'm worth it.

1439
01:00:41,076 --> 01:00:44,514
And that saving it
is worth it to you.

1440
01:00:44,548 --> 01:00:47,016
All so you can give me
some money.

1441
01:00:47,049 --> 01:00:50,019
Not for my town, but for me.

1442
01:00:50,052 --> 01:00:54,458
To help convince my town
that I'm worth it.

1443
01:00:56,359 --> 01:00:59,529
I mean...

1444
01:00:59,563 --> 01:01:04,166
I don't know,
it just sounds so stupid.

1445
01:01:05,602 --> 01:01:07,036
(sighs)

1446
01:01:07,069 --> 01:01:08,472
♪ ♪

1447
01:01:08,505 --> 01:01:10,105
(Jack grunts softly)

1448
01:01:19,249 --> 01:01:21,016
Still crying?

1449
01:01:22,452 --> 01:01:24,621
GARY:
A little bit.

1450
01:01:24,654 --> 01:01:26,289
JACK:
Mm.

1451
01:01:27,824 --> 01:01:32,496
You gonna do that
all the way home?

1452
01:01:32,529 --> 01:01:34,331
Yes.

1453
01:01:37,367 --> 01:01:39,369
Why?

1454
01:01:40,537 --> 01:01:42,506
Because the seat belt sign
is on

1455
01:01:42,539 --> 01:01:45,475
and I can't get up to hug you.

1456
01:01:45,509 --> 01:01:48,411
Damn, Jack.

1457
01:01:48,445 --> 01:01:51,113
(sighs)
You walked in there,

1458
01:01:51,146 --> 01:01:54,183
into the lion's den
like that...

1459
01:01:54,217 --> 01:01:55,252
Daniel.

1460
01:01:55,285 --> 01:01:57,119
Yeah, and just...

1461
01:01:57,152 --> 01:02:00,257
you told 'em, straight up,
this isn't right.

1462
01:02:00,290 --> 01:02:02,392
This is wrong.
The system is corrupt.

1463
01:02:02,425 --> 01:02:04,594
(imitating Al Pacino): I'm out
of order? You're out of order.

1464
01:02:04,628 --> 01:02:06,296
The whole damn system's
out of order!

1465
01:02:06,329 --> 01:02:08,632
Attica! Att...

1466
01:02:08,665 --> 01:02:10,233
(grunts intensely)

1467
01:02:10,267 --> 01:02:12,269
(gasps) Money.

1468
01:02:12,302 --> 01:02:16,540
Oh, God, their money
is the problem?

1469
01:02:16,573 --> 01:02:19,242
(chuckling):
Oh!

1470
01:02:19,276 --> 01:02:20,844
You should've seen their faces.

1471
01:02:20,877 --> 01:02:22,445
I saw.

1472
01:02:22,479 --> 01:02:26,216
They ate it up.

1473
01:02:26,249 --> 01:02:28,552
We could've named our price.

1474
01:02:28,585 --> 01:02:31,288
(grunts, laughs)

1475
01:02:31,321 --> 01:02:33,088
Oh, no way Faith matches.

1476
01:02:33,122 --> 01:02:35,325
- And why is that, now?
- Oh.

1477
01:02:35,358 --> 01:02:38,428
Because they're spending
to stop something,

1478
01:02:38,461 --> 01:02:40,497
and we're spending
to start something.

1479
01:02:41,631 --> 01:02:43,500
- (Gary sighs)
- Hmm.

1480
01:02:43,533 --> 01:02:45,435
(imitating Peter Finch):
I'm mad as hell,

1481
01:02:45,468 --> 01:02:47,871
and I can't take it anymore!

1482
01:02:47,904 --> 01:02:50,340
- (Jack chuckles)
- (gasps) Oh!

1483
01:02:50,373 --> 01:02:52,542
Gary, you... green bean?

1484
01:02:52,576 --> 01:02:54,244
No. (laughs)

1485
01:02:54,277 --> 01:02:56,178
Okay. No, thank you.

1486
01:02:58,248 --> 01:03:00,283
(sighs):
Wow.

1487
01:03:00,317 --> 01:03:02,719
I'm telling you,
he is the real deal.

1488
01:03:02,752 --> 01:03:05,589
It is like a Bill Clinton
with impulse control.

1489
01:03:05,622 --> 01:03:07,624
Like a churchgoing
Bernie Sanders

1490
01:03:07,657 --> 01:03:09,426
with better bone density.

1491
01:03:09,459 --> 01:03:11,193
- He... Oh, here they are.
- JACK: Hello. Good morning.

1492
01:03:11,227 --> 01:03:12,596
Here they are.

1493
01:03:12,629 --> 01:03:14,598
Ladies and gentlemen,
the next mayor of Deerlaken

1494
01:03:14,631 --> 01:03:16,198
and his talented
first daughter.

1495
01:03:16,232 --> 01:03:18,234
- Please join me.
- You are fired up, huh?

1496
01:03:18,268 --> 01:03:20,403
I am fired...
Why wouldn't I be fired up?

1497
01:03:20,437 --> 01:03:24,608
I am working with the future
of the Democratic Party here.

1498
01:03:24,641 --> 01:03:27,711
Oh, your dad the other night
was transcendent.

1499
01:03:27,744 --> 01:03:29,546
He crushed it.

1500
01:03:29,579 --> 01:03:31,715
And because of that,
I'd like to show you

1501
01:03:31,748 --> 01:03:34,250
the fruits of your labor.

1502
01:03:34,284 --> 01:03:38,221
Because he was so good,
I was able to hire...

1503
01:03:38,254 --> 01:03:39,689
the "A" team.

1504
01:03:39,723 --> 01:03:41,625
- Mm-hmm.
- GARY: I'm just kidding.

1505
01:03:41,658 --> 01:03:43,293
They're not the "A" team.

1506
01:03:43,326 --> 01:03:44,661
Not that you aren't great.

1507
01:03:44,694 --> 01:03:47,464
- But this...
- (keypad beeping)

1508
01:03:47,497 --> 01:03:48,732
is the real "A" team.

1509
01:03:48,765 --> 01:03:50,634
TINA: I get it,
but what are the numbers?

1510
01:03:50,667 --> 01:03:52,502
(Diana gasps)

1511
01:03:52,535 --> 01:03:54,404
(quiet, indistinct chatter)

1512
01:03:56,272 --> 01:03:57,507
- You know Kurt Lehman, polling and modeling.
- Oh, my God.

1513
01:03:57,540 --> 01:03:59,174
- Yes. Hi.
- KURT: Hi.

1514
01:03:59,209 --> 01:04:00,677
- He gives us a window into the electorate.
- Hi. - Hey.

1515
01:04:00,710 --> 01:04:02,445
- How are you?
- GARY: Best in the business.

1516
01:04:02,479 --> 01:04:04,214
When everyone was
predicting Hillary

1517
01:04:04,247 --> 01:04:06,950
in a landslide over Trump,
Kurt was the one guy

1518
01:04:06,983 --> 01:04:09,753
who had her
just barely beating him.

1519
01:04:09,786 --> 01:04:13,256
My models just picked up the
trend lines, so... (chuckles)

1520
01:04:13,289 --> 01:04:15,258
If the election had taken place
a month or two later...

1521
01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:17,961
My numbers would've been
100% on the money.

1522
01:04:17,994 --> 01:04:19,729
- Mm-hmm.
- DIANA: Wow.

1523
01:04:19,763 --> 01:04:21,398
Impressive.

1524
01:04:21,431 --> 01:04:22,565
Well...

1525
01:04:22,599 --> 01:04:24,334
Well, he was the least wrong.

1526
01:04:24,367 --> 01:04:25,969
Tina Kuryev, analytics.

1527
01:04:26,002 --> 01:04:27,604
She gives us a window
into the voters.

1528
01:04:27,637 --> 01:04:29,239
Good to meet you, sir.

1529
01:04:29,272 --> 01:04:31,741
Oh. I thought, uh,
polling did that.

1530
01:04:31,775 --> 01:04:34,477
- It does.
- Well, he tells you how he thinks they feel.

1531
01:04:34,511 --> 01:04:36,413
I tell you how
they really feel.

1532
01:04:38,415 --> 01:04:41,284
- People are liars.
- Here we go.

1533
01:04:41,317 --> 01:04:44,387
He can tell you how often
people say they go to church.

1534
01:04:44,421 --> 01:04:45,789
She can tell you
if they actually go.

1535
01:04:45,822 --> 01:04:47,991
I can tell you
if God is in their hearts.

1536
01:04:48,024 --> 01:04:49,492
- Oh, my God.
- Tina's in online analytics.

1537
01:04:49,526 --> 01:04:50,994
KURT:
Hey, can I just say...

1538
01:04:51,027 --> 01:04:53,496
we take deception into account,
too, okay? (chuckles)

1539
01:04:53,530 --> 01:04:55,565
Yeah, polling is
an art form, but,

1540
01:04:55,598 --> 01:04:57,834
you know, there's plenty
of science to back it up.

1541
01:04:57,867 --> 01:05:00,336
Says the guy
still calling landlines.

1542
01:05:00,370 --> 01:05:02,672
People tell computers
the truth, right?

1543
01:05:02,706 --> 01:05:04,774
Their desires,
their prejudices.

1544
01:05:04,808 --> 01:05:06,710
Every search,
every transaction...

1545
01:05:06,743 --> 01:05:08,712
it's an unguarded
private moment.

1546
01:05:08,745 --> 01:05:12,015
So there's no, uh,
margin of error, you know?

1547
01:05:12,048 --> 01:05:14,784
The digital footprint
is your true self.

1548
01:05:14,818 --> 01:05:17,020
But, surely,
people are more complicated

1549
01:05:17,053 --> 01:05:19,322
than their online transactions.

1550
01:05:19,355 --> 01:05:21,357
Well, says the woman
with three cats

1551
01:05:21,391 --> 01:05:23,760
and an intense search history
of the herpes virus.

1552
01:05:29,899 --> 01:05:31,835
One of the cats...

1553
01:05:31,868 --> 01:05:33,737
Is this legal?

1554
01:05:33,770 --> 01:05:36,539
Law enforcement
or in the eyes of God?

1555
01:05:39,409 --> 01:05:41,845
NEWSWOMAN: <i>With two weeks to go
until election day,</i>

1556
01:05:41,878 --> 01:05:44,347
<i>we have an update
on the Deerlaken mayoral race.</i>

1557
01:05:44,380 --> 01:05:46,349
The race between
Colonel Jack Hastings

1558
01:05:46,382 --> 01:05:49,652
<i>and incumbent Mayor Billy Braun
is tightening.</i>

1559
01:05:49,686 --> 01:05:51,588
Who here has been chosen
as 527s?

1560
01:05:51,621 --> 01:05:52,622
- Raise your hands, please.
- (murmuring)

1561
01:05:52,655 --> 01:05:55,625
One, two, three, four. Good.

1562
01:05:55,658 --> 01:05:57,627
You all run super PACs now.

1563
01:05:57,660 --> 01:06:01,798
You are no longer associated
with this campaign.

1564
01:06:01,831 --> 01:06:06,669
And as such, it is time to move
to your super PAC location,

1565
01:06:06,703 --> 01:06:09,839
which is all the way
at the back of the room,

1566
01:06:09,873 --> 01:06:13,843
far, far away from the activity
of the campaign.

1567
01:06:14,911 --> 01:06:16,579
Right now?

1568
01:06:16,613 --> 01:06:19,382
I am not at liberty to say.

1569
01:06:19,415 --> 01:06:22,752
The campaign cannot coordinate
with the super PAC.

1570
01:06:22,786 --> 01:06:24,387
So...

1571
01:06:24,420 --> 01:06:26,523
(whispers):
After the meeting.

1572
01:06:26,556 --> 01:06:28,525
♪ You always won ♪

1573
01:06:28,558 --> 01:06:30,860
♪ Every time
you placed a bet... ♪

1574
01:06:34,364 --> 01:06:35,799
Get me that fucking sat truck!

1575
01:06:35,832 --> 01:06:38,635
Get it now! They're gonna
out-communicate us!

1576
01:06:38,668 --> 01:06:41,404
Here, we have an unusual
cluster of single women.

1577
01:06:41,437 --> 01:06:42,572
They're all gonna get pamphlets

1578
01:06:42,605 --> 01:06:44,374
saying that the mayor
is gonna repeal

1579
01:06:44,407 --> 01:06:45,909
the health care payment
for birth control.

1580
01:06:45,942 --> 01:06:47,343
JACK:
What's this?

1581
01:06:47,377 --> 01:06:49,712
It's eight SMAWs.

1582
01:06:49,746 --> 01:06:51,815
Stay-at-home middle-aged women.

1583
01:06:51,848 --> 01:06:54,384
- 29 to 54.
- DIANA: 29?

1584
01:06:54,417 --> 01:06:55,952
That's middle-aged?

1585
01:06:55,985 --> 01:06:58,121
Yes. Yes, it is.

1586
01:06:58,154 --> 01:06:59,823
KURT: <i>You got to do it
on the adjective.</i>

1587
01:06:59,856 --> 01:07:01,624
<i>Safe</i> streets.
It's not safe <i>streets.</i>

1588
01:07:01,658 --> 01:07:03,660
- Everybody wants safe streets!
- Safe... No, no, no.

1589
01:07:03,693 --> 01:07:04,694
Okay, that's coming off
a little angry.

1590
01:07:04,727 --> 01:07:07,430
GARY: <i>Did you finish
those donor calls?</i>

1591
01:07:07,463 --> 01:07:08,832
JACK:
<i>Yeah, just about.</i>

1592
01:07:08,865 --> 01:07:10,834
I just always had a notion
that farmers had a...

1593
01:07:10,867 --> 01:07:12,702
I'm sorry, are...
are you clicking your heels?

1594
01:07:12,735 --> 01:07:13,937
Are you Dorothy?

1595
01:07:13,970 --> 01:07:15,705
Is there no place like home?

1596
01:07:15,738 --> 01:07:17,941
♪ Turning on the charm ♪

1597
01:07:17,974 --> 01:07:20,910
- ♪ Long enough to get you by ♪
- ♪ Still the same... ♪

1598
01:07:20,944 --> 01:07:24,447
JACK: <i>America's greatness
and God's grace...</i>

1599
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:27,817
I'd go to battle
for those two any day.

1600
01:07:27,851 --> 01:07:29,519
ANNOUNCER:
<i>Paid for by Wisconsinites</i>

1601
01:07:29,552 --> 01:07:30,887
<i>for Religiously Based
Compassionate Empathy.</i>

1602
01:07:35,758 --> 01:07:36,860
- (Jack sighs)
- Did you just sigh?

1603
01:07:36,893 --> 01:07:38,494
- Did he just sigh?
- Oh, I can't...

1604
01:07:38,528 --> 01:07:39,796
Don't even get me started
with sighing.

1605
01:07:39,829 --> 01:07:41,865
TINA:
Now, here, this cluster in blue

1606
01:07:41,898 --> 01:07:43,733
have children,
so they're gonna get

1607
01:07:43,766 --> 01:07:45,969
pamphlets saying
"save our schools"

1608
01:07:46,002 --> 01:07:49,505
because it's 1950
and everybody loves pamphlets.

1609
01:07:49,539 --> 01:07:50,940
"Hi. My name is Jack.
I'm exasperated."

1610
01:07:50,974 --> 01:07:52,475
(takes exaggerated deep breath)

1611
01:07:52,508 --> 01:07:54,611
Why don't we move on
to the WoMAMs?

1612
01:07:54,644 --> 01:07:56,412
White middle-aged men.

1613
01:07:56,446 --> 01:07:57,714
(laughter)

1614
01:07:59,649 --> 01:08:03,887
♪ I had nothing left to say ♪

1615
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:05,889
♪ 'Cause you're
still the same ♪

1616
01:08:05,922 --> 01:08:07,624
♪ Still the same ♪

1617
01:08:07,657 --> 01:08:09,893
♪ Baby, baby, still the same ♪

1618
01:08:09,926 --> 01:08:11,461
GARY:
<i>What's this?</i>

1619
01:08:11,494 --> 01:08:12,729
KURT:
<i>Walt.</i>

1620
01:08:12,762 --> 01:08:13,997
♪ You're still the same... ♪

1621
01:08:14,030 --> 01:08:15,765
Is that an acronym?

1622
01:08:15,798 --> 01:08:18,401
No, it is not.

1623
01:08:19,936 --> 01:08:24,574
Can I still bring baked goods
to the super PAC location?

1624
01:08:25,742 --> 01:08:27,710
(indistinct whispering)

1625
01:08:31,881 --> 01:08:33,416
No.

1626
01:08:34,550 --> 01:08:36,719
(dramatic, cinematic music
playing)

1627
01:08:50,700 --> 01:08:54,604
I'm Colonel Jack Hastings,
and I approve this message.

1628
01:08:54,637 --> 01:08:56,072
ANNOUNCER:
You want to come to Deerlaken,

1629
01:08:56,105 --> 01:08:57,907
you'll have to go through him.

1630
01:08:57,941 --> 01:09:00,610
(echoing boom)

1631
01:09:00,643 --> 01:09:02,912
Paid for by Powerful
Progressives for Strength.

1632
01:09:02,946 --> 01:09:04,914
(mouthing)

1633
01:09:06,649 --> 01:09:07,984
- Thank you so much, sir.
- You're welcome.

1634
01:09:08,017 --> 01:09:09,619
Thank you so much
for your support.

1635
01:09:09,652 --> 01:09:11,521
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

1636
01:09:13,756 --> 01:09:16,793
How the hell did she get the
bayou billionaires involved?

1637
01:09:16,826 --> 01:09:18,262
You okay?
Do you need some help?

1638
01:09:18,295 --> 01:09:19,996
- Just fine.
- You're good? Okay, thank you.

1639
01:09:20,029 --> 01:09:21,764
She must have promised
that they could have

1640
01:09:21,798 --> 01:09:23,633
the town smelted
after the election.

1641
01:09:28,671 --> 01:09:30,540
I'm just very impressed
with all this.

1642
01:09:30,573 --> 01:09:32,842
- You... you do the polling.
- KURT: Uh-huh. In fact...

1643
01:09:32,875 --> 01:09:33,843
(heavy, metallic thumping)

1644
01:09:33,876 --> 01:09:35,645
GARY:
There it is.

1645
01:09:35,678 --> 01:09:36,713
What is that?

1646
01:09:36,746 --> 01:09:38,614
No, who is that?
Elton Chambers.

1647
01:09:38,648 --> 01:09:40,717
The Rocket Man?

1648
01:09:40,750 --> 01:09:42,585
The billionaire
Rocket Man, yes.

1649
01:09:42,618 --> 01:09:44,721
Jesus Chr...
I thought he was dead.

1650
01:09:44,754 --> 01:09:46,656
- Well, he is dead.
- GARY: No, no, no.

1651
01:09:46,689 --> 01:09:48,758
A series of micro-strokes.
It's all good.

1652
01:09:48,791 --> 01:09:50,860
(slow, heavy thumping)

1653
01:09:53,997 --> 01:09:55,865
(door creaks open)

1654
01:09:55,898 --> 01:09:58,868
- (mechanical whirring)
- (heavy, metallic footsteps)

1655
01:10:07,010 --> 01:10:10,780
Sir Elton, thank you
so, so much for coming.

1656
01:10:10,813 --> 01:10:13,850
Everyone, this is
the great Sir Elton.

1657
01:10:15,352 --> 01:10:17,687
Let's get through
the pleasantries.

1658
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:20,556
This is Jack Hastings
and his daughter Diana.

1659
01:10:20,590 --> 01:10:24,560
ELTON (robotic, melodic voice):
Hello to you.

1660
01:10:24,594 --> 01:10:26,896
GARY: All right, well,
let's get right to it, then.

1661
01:10:26,929 --> 01:10:32,068
ELTON (tune of "Hava Nagila"):
Tell me, what is your position

1662
01:10:32,101 --> 01:10:35,671
concerning the settlement

1663
01:10:35,705 --> 01:10:40,810
of Kevyat Sharim?

1664
01:10:42,145 --> 01:10:44,147
Uh...

1665
01:10:44,180 --> 01:10:45,882
I'm not sure I...

1666
01:10:45,915 --> 01:10:46,983
Israel.

1667
01:10:47,016 --> 01:10:50,053
Jack believes
that sovereign nations

1668
01:10:50,086 --> 01:10:51,754
are entitled to self-defense.

1669
01:10:51,788 --> 01:10:52,922
ELTON:
Strongly?

1670
01:10:52,955 --> 01:10:54,157
Strongly believes, yes.

1671
01:10:55,191 --> 01:10:57,627
(mechanical whirring)

1672
01:10:57,660 --> 01:10:59,829
(Elton gasps, stammers)

1673
01:11:01,197 --> 01:11:02,999
(normal voice):
An election is a moral horror,

1674
01:11:03,032 --> 01:11:05,668
as bad as a battle
but without the blood.

1675
01:11:05,701 --> 01:11:07,904
That's George Bernard Shaw.

1676
01:11:09,406 --> 01:11:10,907
(robotic, melodic voice):
Get the car.

1677
01:11:10,940 --> 01:11:12,108
(whispers):
I think that went well.

1678
01:11:12,141 --> 01:11:13,910
KURT:
Seemed like a really nice guy.

1679
01:11:13,943 --> 01:11:15,678
Actually looked
pretty good, right?

1680
01:11:15,711 --> 01:11:16,879
- Yeah.
- Surprisingly robust.

1681
01:11:16,913 --> 01:11:18,915
Elton Chambers is in.

1682
01:11:18,948 --> 01:11:21,050
- Oh.
- TINA: Ah. All right.

1683
01:11:21,084 --> 01:11:22,718
Making it rain.

1684
01:11:22,752 --> 01:11:25,588
He actually has a machine
that makes it rain.

1685
01:11:35,665 --> 01:11:38,634
GARY: This margin of error
is really shrinking.

1686
01:11:38,668 --> 01:11:39,769
Excuse me. Gary...

1687
01:11:39,802 --> 01:11:40,903
- Mr. Zimmer.
- Mm-mm.

1688
01:11:40,937 --> 01:11:43,240
- Becca, super PAC.
- Uh...

1689
01:11:43,273 --> 01:11:45,708
Okay.

1690
01:11:45,741 --> 01:11:47,643
- Uh, big guy?
- GARY: Hmm?

1691
01:11:47,677 --> 01:11:49,712
We got a problem.

1692
01:11:58,721 --> 01:12:00,056
(keypad beeps)

1693
01:12:00,089 --> 01:12:02,024
Hey, everybody.

1694
01:12:02,058 --> 01:12:03,993
Hard at work, I see.
That's good.

1695
01:12:04,026 --> 01:12:06,195
That's good.
I had a couple of questions.

1696
01:12:06,230 --> 01:12:07,997
The first is: What the fuck?!

1697
01:12:08,030 --> 01:12:10,133
What tactical genius in here

1698
01:12:10,166 --> 01:12:12,436
thought it might be a good idea
to carpet-bomb

1699
01:12:12,469 --> 01:12:15,205
a particular neighborhood
in this town

1700
01:12:15,239 --> 01:12:19,008
with flyers suggesting
that Colonel Jack Hastings

1701
01:12:19,041 --> 01:12:20,776
- would make sure...
- (sighs): Fuck.

1702
01:12:20,810 --> 01:12:24,180
- ...that contraception
is paid for by the government?

1703
01:12:27,984 --> 01:12:29,719
Uh, I did.

1704
01:12:29,752 --> 01:12:31,954
- KURT (shuddering): Oh.
- TINA: The data showed an

1705
01:12:31,988 --> 01:12:34,023
unusually concentrated grouping
of single women in the area

1706
01:12:34,056 --> 01:12:36,092
who are deeply interested
in reproductive rights.

1707
01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:37,261
And you know why that is?

1708
01:12:37,294 --> 01:12:38,895
(chuckling):
Well, "why" is not really...

1709
01:12:38,928 --> 01:12:40,830
Because this "concentrated
grouping of single women,"

1710
01:12:40,863 --> 01:12:42,865
as you put it, is a convent.

1711
01:12:43,933 --> 01:12:45,768
They are nuns.

1712
01:12:45,801 --> 01:12:48,838
Which is how many of them are
going to end up voting for us.

1713
01:12:48,871 --> 01:12:51,107
"Nuns" of them. Zero.

1714
01:12:51,140 --> 01:12:53,243
- (laughs)
- It's not funny.

1715
01:12:53,277 --> 01:12:55,678
I'm not laughing.

1716
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,016
(sighs) Fuck.

1717
01:13:00,049 --> 01:13:02,852
Well, I think we can
appreciate the humor

1718
01:13:02,885 --> 01:13:05,154
in this very honest mistake.

1719
01:13:05,188 --> 01:13:07,056
And the fact that the nuns

1720
01:13:07,089 --> 01:13:08,724
are generously turning
the other cheek

1721
01:13:08,758 --> 01:13:09,926
makes it a nonstory, but...

1722
01:13:09,959 --> 01:13:11,261
FAITH:
Brooke, Brooke, if I may.

1723
01:13:11,295 --> 01:13:13,297
Uh, this is really just
another perfect example

1724
01:13:13,330 --> 01:13:16,732
of the D.C. elite coming into
a place they don't understand

1725
01:13:16,766 --> 01:13:18,202
and trying to dictate
how we should live.

1726
01:13:18,235 --> 01:13:20,803
The Democrat Party can't win.
They're getting desperate.

1727
01:13:20,836 --> 01:13:22,872
They don't know us,
they don't want to know us,

1728
01:13:22,905 --> 01:13:24,907
- and they look down on our values.
- GARY: No, no.

1729
01:13:24,941 --> 01:13:26,809
That's "we." You're D.C. elite.

1730
01:13:26,842 --> 01:13:28,212
Oh, no, actually,
I'm from here.

1731
01:13:28,245 --> 01:13:29,879
BROOKE:
Faith, I didn't know that.

1732
01:13:29,912 --> 01:13:31,948
- You're from Wisconsin?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1733
01:13:31,981 --> 01:13:33,816
Well, no, "Deer-lake-en."
I'm from "Deer-lake-en."

1734
01:13:33,849 --> 01:13:35,319
- What? Whoa.
- BROOKE: Oh. Wow.

1735
01:13:35,352 --> 01:13:37,753
So this campaign has been
a bit of a homecoming.

1736
01:13:37,787 --> 01:13:39,223
- It really is, Brooke. Thank you.
- No, no.

1737
01:13:39,256 --> 01:13:41,157
No, no, that's a lie.
That's a lie.

1738
01:13:41,190 --> 01:13:42,825
- No, it's...
- You're lying.

1739
01:13:42,858 --> 01:13:43,926
- It's-it's the truth.
- She's ly... That's...

1740
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:45,529
- I'm from here.
- No, that... What are you even doing?

1741
01:13:45,562 --> 01:13:46,563
- (laughing): Okay.
- I-I am from here.

1742
01:13:46,597 --> 01:13:47,564
- You're not from here!
- Well, as always, a great

1743
01:13:47,598 --> 01:13:48,731
- and spirited discussion.
- Thank you so much.

1744
01:13:48,764 --> 01:13:51,133
- No, hey! No, no, no, no. She's lying.
- Thank you both.

1745
01:13:51,167 --> 01:13:52,269
- Unfortunately, we have to leave it there.
- She' a li...

1746
01:13:52,302 --> 01:13:55,104
Coming up, we'll look at more
of this year's hot races

1747
01:13:55,137 --> 01:13:57,974
and how those will affect races
four years from now.

1748
01:13:58,007 --> 01:14:00,042
Why do you even lie
about something like that?

1749
01:14:00,076 --> 01:14:03,347
(sighs) Honestly, I, uh...
I don't even know.

1750
01:14:03,380 --> 01:14:05,181
(mocking):
"I... I don't even know."

1751
01:14:05,215 --> 01:14:07,049
Wh-What do you mean,
you don't know?

1752
01:14:07,083 --> 01:14:10,119
You can't just lie
about something like that.

1753
01:14:10,152 --> 01:14:12,256
You just walk away?

1754
01:14:12,289 --> 01:14:15,891
You just told America that
you're from "Deer-lake-en"?

1755
01:14:15,925 --> 01:14:18,362
That's not even
how you pronounce it!

1756
01:14:18,395 --> 01:14:21,831
"Deer-lake-en," my ass.

1757
01:14:21,864 --> 01:14:23,933
Oh, my God.

1758
01:14:23,966 --> 01:14:26,336
She's a fucking genius!

1759
01:14:26,370 --> 01:14:28,170
Oh!

1760
01:14:28,205 --> 01:14:30,374
Oh, my God, I hate her so much.

1761
01:14:30,407 --> 01:14:32,108
I hate her. I hate her.

1762
01:14:32,141 --> 01:14:34,877
She said it,
and now it's the truth.

1763
01:14:34,910 --> 01:14:37,880
(sighing):
Fuck me.

1764
01:14:37,913 --> 01:14:39,216
- (indistinct chatter)
- (music playing)

1765
01:14:39,249 --> 01:14:40,883
WAITRESS:
Another round, guys?

1766
01:14:40,916 --> 01:14:42,219
Okay.

1767
01:14:44,053 --> 01:14:46,256
FAITH: Goddamn it.
You're killing me.

1768
01:14:46,290 --> 01:14:47,890
KURT:
That's good. Yeah.

1769
01:14:47,923 --> 01:14:50,126
(indistinct chatter continues)

1770
01:14:50,159 --> 01:14:51,861
Come on.
Let's get out of here.

1771
01:14:51,894 --> 01:14:52,995
GARY:
Hey, Mikes!

1772
01:14:53,029 --> 01:14:55,064
How you doing, guys?

1773
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,236
Hello, everybody.

1774
01:14:59,269 --> 01:15:01,305
- KURT: Hey, big guy.
- DIANA: Hey, Gary. Um...

1775
01:15:01,338 --> 01:15:03,906
- Burger and a Bud.
- Oh, thank you very much.

1776
01:15:03,939 --> 01:15:05,908
You know, that looks great.
Uh, can I have one of those?

1777
01:15:05,941 --> 01:15:07,176
No.

1778
01:15:07,210 --> 01:15:09,313
GARY: What you guys doing?
Looking at some ads?

1779
01:15:09,346 --> 01:15:11,147
DIANA: Yeah, they're just
taking me through it.

1780
01:15:11,180 --> 01:15:13,082
Bio. Very nice.

1781
01:15:13,115 --> 01:15:15,184
Education. That's important.

1782
01:15:15,218 --> 01:15:17,853
Hey, are we sure that we want
to be doing this here

1783
01:15:17,887 --> 01:15:19,922
and not in Faith's room
or the mayor's office?

1784
01:15:19,955 --> 01:15:23,025
Because right now I'm not sure
that our opposition knows

1785
01:15:23,059 --> 01:15:24,927
exactly what we're about to do.

1786
01:15:24,960 --> 01:15:26,630
And that seems unfair.
No, no, no, no, no.

1787
01:15:26,663 --> 01:15:28,197
Don't put 'em away
on my account.

1788
01:15:28,231 --> 01:15:30,434
Why don't we got one of
those overhead projectors

1789
01:15:30,467 --> 01:15:31,768
- that you have at a bowling alley?
- Stop.

1790
01:15:31,802 --> 01:15:33,936
- Kurt, you don't have to leave.
- So everybody here can see it.

1791
01:15:33,969 --> 01:15:34,970
Wouldn't that be good?

1792
01:15:35,004 --> 01:15:36,172
Kurt, come on.

1793
01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:39,141
Mmm!

1794
01:15:39,175 --> 01:15:40,876
Why do you talk
to them like that?

1795
01:15:40,910 --> 01:15:41,944
Like what?

1796
01:15:41,977 --> 01:15:43,112
Like that.
Like they're idiots.

1797
01:15:43,145 --> 01:15:44,980
(inhales sharply)
Well...

1798
01:15:45,014 --> 01:15:46,048
(chuckles)

1799
01:15:46,082 --> 01:15:48,084
Listen.

1800
01:15:48,117 --> 01:15:49,319
(sighs)

1801
01:15:49,353 --> 01:15:51,254
I saw some polls.

1802
01:15:51,288 --> 01:15:53,022
If we don't
figure this out soon,

1803
01:15:53,055 --> 01:15:54,458
there's no way
we're gonna beat her.

1804
01:15:54,491 --> 01:15:57,227
- Our demographics are so...
- "Her"?

1805
01:15:57,260 --> 01:16:00,230
- Who?
- Her.

1806
01:16:00,263 --> 01:16:02,898
DIANA: I mean, you said,
if we don't figure it out soon,

1807
01:16:02,932 --> 01:16:04,401
we're not gonna be able
to beat her.

1808
01:16:04,434 --> 01:16:06,370
We're not gonna beat
her candidate, Braun.

1809
01:16:06,403 --> 01:16:08,037
Mayor Braun.

1810
01:16:08,070 --> 01:16:10,240
Herr... Herr Braun.

1811
01:16:10,273 --> 01:16:11,941
Herr, her. Same thing.

1812
01:16:11,974 --> 01:16:13,210
DIANA:
Mm-hmm.

1813
01:16:13,243 --> 01:16:15,978
Look, Gary, I don't, um,
really understand

1814
01:16:16,011 --> 01:16:17,414
how you guys do things in D.C.,

1815
01:16:17,447 --> 01:16:19,216
but if you're gonna work
for my father,

1816
01:16:19,249 --> 01:16:20,517
you need to treat people
with respect.

1817
01:16:20,550 --> 01:16:22,386
- With. With.
- What?

1818
01:16:22,419 --> 01:16:24,254
Work with your father, not for.

1819
01:16:24,287 --> 01:16:27,089
You said "for."
It's a semantic thing, but...

1820
01:16:27,123 --> 01:16:30,025
it's... you know,
it's an important distinction.

1821
01:16:34,096 --> 01:16:36,299
Just so you know,

1822
01:16:36,333 --> 01:16:38,402
they don't actually serve
hamburgers and Budweiser here,

1823
01:16:38,435 --> 01:16:40,404
'cause it's a hofbrau house,
so they would serve

1824
01:16:40,437 --> 01:16:42,104
German food and German beers.

1825
01:16:42,138 --> 01:16:43,440
They've been patronizing you.

1826
01:16:49,746 --> 01:16:53,216
Just so you know, I don't even
like hamburgers or Budweiser,

1827
01:16:53,250 --> 01:16:54,718
so I've been
patronizing them...

1828
01:16:54,751 --> 01:16:56,286
- the whole time.
- Okay. Ah.

1829
01:16:56,319 --> 01:16:57,521
Did a little switcheroo.

1830
01:16:57,554 --> 01:17:00,424
Oh, and just so you know,
congratulations.

1831
01:17:00,457 --> 01:17:02,925
Our campaign made the paper.

1832
01:17:05,228 --> 01:17:06,396
(sighs):
Oh, God.

1833
01:17:09,566 --> 01:17:12,134
(takes deep breath)

1834
01:17:13,537 --> 01:17:15,572
She's so pretty.

1835
01:17:15,605 --> 01:17:18,275
I bet she smells
like Pop-Tarts.

1836
01:17:22,612 --> 01:17:25,181
Is he still looking?
(laughs)

1837
01:17:25,215 --> 01:17:26,483
NEWSWOMAN:
Now, Colonel Jack Hastings.

1838
01:17:26,516 --> 01:17:28,251
- NEWSMAN: Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
- Military man.

1839
01:17:28,285 --> 01:17:30,186
- From the heartland.
- Yep.

1840
01:17:30,220 --> 01:17:31,488
- No greater place in America.
- (chuckling)

1841
01:17:31,521 --> 01:17:33,122
- No, no.
- Am I right?

1842
01:17:33,155 --> 01:17:36,226
- Nope.
- He is now part of the loony left.

1843
01:17:36,259 --> 01:17:39,094
No, not just the loony left.
He's not just a Democrat.

1844
01:17:39,128 --> 01:17:40,597
- No.
- He has joined the...

1845
01:17:40,630 --> 01:17:42,532
- Squad.
- Socialism. - Mm-hmm.

1846
01:17:42,566 --> 01:17:44,201
Socialism. Hmm.

1847
01:17:44,234 --> 01:17:46,269
Do you think
it hurts our military

1848
01:17:46,303 --> 01:17:49,573
to have one of their own
throw in with the Democrats?

1849
01:17:51,241 --> 01:17:54,344
I know that if I had served,

1850
01:17:54,377 --> 01:17:56,413
I wouldn't like it.

1851
01:17:56,446 --> 01:17:59,416
Mm. Yeah.

1852
01:17:59,449 --> 01:18:03,152
FAITH (from other room):
Wow, that was a harsh segment.

1853
01:18:03,185 --> 01:18:05,154
- Cutting but fair.
- (sighs)

1854
01:18:05,187 --> 01:18:08,123
It's like I wrote it myself
last night and sent it to them

1855
01:18:08,157 --> 01:18:11,026
and they read it verbatim
like a scene.

1856
01:18:11,060 --> 01:18:13,128
Go to bed.

1857
01:18:13,162 --> 01:18:14,297
GARY:
<i>What is this?</i>

1858
01:18:14,331 --> 01:18:15,365
<i>What am I looking at?</i>

1859
01:18:15,398 --> 01:18:16,800
KURT:
Those are the...

1860
01:18:16,833 --> 01:18:18,568
Why are we being outspent
three-to-one?

1861
01:18:18,602 --> 01:18:20,237
And how do white women
not realize

1862
01:18:20,270 --> 01:18:21,505
they're backing
the wrong horse?

1863
01:18:21,538 --> 01:18:23,072
These numbers
aren't solidified.

1864
01:18:23,105 --> 01:18:24,508
Yeah, well, you got to
make it happen,

1865
01:18:24,541 --> 01:18:27,544
or you got to find me
some more fucking Hispanics.

1866
01:18:27,577 --> 01:18:29,513
Where are my
fucking Hispanics?!

1867
01:18:29,546 --> 01:18:33,450
- I need some more fucking Hispanics, Kurt!
- (snapping)

1868
01:18:40,524 --> 01:18:42,526
Hey, everybody.

1869
01:18:42,559 --> 01:18:44,261
Listen.

1870
01:18:44,294 --> 01:18:46,128
I am profoundly disappointed

1871
01:18:46,161 --> 01:18:48,665
in the comments
that I just made.

1872
01:18:48,698 --> 01:18:52,269
My words and/or actions

1873
01:18:52,302 --> 01:18:55,539
do not represent
who I am as a person and...

1874
01:18:55,572 --> 01:18:57,641
- Teachable moment.
- It is a teachable moment.

1875
01:18:57,674 --> 01:19:01,110
It's something I think
we can all learn from.

1876
01:19:01,143 --> 01:19:02,312
And in that way, I feel like

1877
01:19:02,345 --> 01:19:03,480
- I have given you a gift.
- (phone ringing)

1878
01:19:03,513 --> 01:19:05,849
- (quietly): You have my heart.
- And from this moment on,

1879
01:19:05,882 --> 01:19:07,417
I vow to make this office

1880
01:19:07,450 --> 01:19:11,588
a color- and gender-neutral
work environment.

1881
01:19:11,621 --> 01:19:13,857
- (phone continues ringing)
- That is my...

1882
01:19:13,890 --> 01:19:16,259
- Are you gonna get that?
- (phone clicks, ringing stops)

1883
01:19:16,293 --> 01:19:18,395
Ringing off the fucking hook.

1884
01:19:18,428 --> 01:19:20,129
TINA (over phone):
<i>A hundred percent.</i>

1885
01:19:20,162 --> 01:19:21,431
GARY:
<i>What do you mean, you're sure?</i>

1886
01:19:21,464 --> 01:19:23,165
TINA:
<i>I'm sure.</i>

1887
01:19:23,198 --> 01:19:25,167
GARY: <i>You're sure,
or you're just pretty sure?</i>

1888
01:19:25,201 --> 01:19:26,570
- TINA: 100% sure.
- GARY: Okay.

1889
01:19:26,603 --> 01:19:30,139
Okay, Tina. Better not be
another nun situation.

1890
01:19:30,172 --> 01:19:31,608
TINA:
It's not.

1891
01:19:31,641 --> 01:19:33,543
GARY:
Hey. Is your dad here?

1892
01:19:33,577 --> 01:19:35,211
Yeah. Dad!

1893
01:19:35,245 --> 01:19:37,581
- JACK: Yeah?
- Come on in, Colonel.

1894
01:19:41,284 --> 01:19:44,487
So, um, we can't win.

1895
01:19:47,223 --> 01:19:51,461
The people in this town
are pretty set in their ways.

1896
01:19:51,494 --> 01:19:53,330
And we lost the eight nuns.

1897
01:19:53,363 --> 01:19:54,497
That wasn't good.

1898
01:19:54,531 --> 01:19:57,601
So, we can't win.

1899
01:19:59,269 --> 01:20:03,340
Uh... y-you know,
we appreciate all you done.

1900
01:20:03,373 --> 01:20:06,476
I mean, the campaign and, uh...

1901
01:20:06,509 --> 01:20:09,646
I'm just sorry
we let you down, but...

1902
01:20:09,679 --> 01:20:13,350
well, all I can say
is thank you.

1903
01:20:13,383 --> 01:20:15,619
Really, Gary,
thank you for everything.

1904
01:20:15,652 --> 01:20:17,220
It was a hell of a ride.

1905
01:20:17,253 --> 01:20:20,223
- (both laughing)
- GARY: Are you shitting me?

1906
01:20:20,256 --> 01:20:22,459
All I have to say is
we can't win,

1907
01:20:22,492 --> 01:20:24,661
and you're-you're through,
you're out.

1908
01:20:24,694 --> 01:20:26,529
- You said we can't win.
- Unless.

1909
01:20:26,563 --> 01:20:28,632
We can't win unless...

1910
01:20:28,665 --> 01:20:30,367
You didn't let me finish.

1911
01:20:30,400 --> 01:20:33,937
We can't win unless
it turns out that this town

1912
01:20:33,970 --> 01:20:36,539
isn't the Mayberry
everybody thinks it is.

1913
01:20:36,573 --> 01:20:38,375
I just got a little piece
of intel

1914
01:20:38,408 --> 01:20:39,776
that's kind of intriguing.

1915
01:20:39,809 --> 01:20:44,414
So, the mayor's brother Ziggy,
he had an Oxy problem.

1916
01:20:44,447 --> 01:20:47,550
Well, he was a roofer
and got hurt on the job.

1917
01:20:47,584 --> 01:20:49,386
Yes, well,
what you might not know

1918
01:20:49,419 --> 01:20:52,489
is that the mayor
pulled some strings,

1919
01:20:52,522 --> 01:20:55,458
kept him out of jail,
got him into rehab.

1920
01:20:55,492 --> 01:20:57,327
That is abuse of power,
nepotism.

1921
01:20:57,360 --> 01:20:59,596
- Probably some clerical shit in there.
- (laughs): Come on.

1922
01:20:59,629 --> 01:21:01,364
Gary.

1923
01:21:01,398 --> 01:21:03,233
But we're the good guys, right?

1924
01:21:03,266 --> 01:21:05,435
Yeah, we're the good guys.

1925
01:21:05,468 --> 01:21:07,671
When they go low...

1926
01:21:07,704 --> 01:21:09,506
We go high.

1927
01:21:09,539 --> 01:21:12,275
Unless we also need to go low,
apparently. (chuckles)

1928
01:21:12,308 --> 01:21:14,978
Only to keep those who
would go lower out of power.

1929
01:21:15,011 --> 01:21:17,480
So, when they go low,
we go higher,

1930
01:21:17,514 --> 01:21:19,582
incrementally, in relation
to how low they went.

1931
01:21:19,616 --> 01:21:21,651
Regrettably, yes.

1932
01:21:21,685 --> 01:21:24,254
When they go low,
we go almost as low,

1933
01:21:24,287 --> 01:21:25,655
but we feel worse doing it.

1934
01:21:25,689 --> 01:21:27,490
You think they thought twice
about making your dad

1935
01:21:27,524 --> 01:21:29,726
look like a PTS nutcase?

1936
01:21:29,759 --> 01:21:31,428
And I'm going low because

1937
01:21:31,461 --> 01:21:33,263
I'm gonna tell the truth
about the mayor?

1938
01:21:33,296 --> 01:21:35,298
His brother's fragile, Gary.

1939
01:21:35,331 --> 01:21:36,566
This town is fragile.

1940
01:21:36,599 --> 01:21:38,768
The whole area is fragile.
Our democracy.

1941
01:21:38,802 --> 01:21:41,671
(scoffs) Stop.
We're not doing it.

1942
01:21:41,705 --> 01:21:44,307
Okay?
People are gonna get hurt.

1943
01:21:44,340 --> 01:21:45,842
I'm sorry... I really am...

1944
01:21:45,875 --> 01:21:49,312
but sometimes good people
have to do shitty things

1945
01:21:49,345 --> 01:21:51,481
in service of the greater good.

1946
01:21:51,514 --> 01:21:53,349
Isn't that right, Colonel?

1947
01:21:59,656 --> 01:22:01,624
- (door opens)
- DIANA: Hey.

1948
01:22:05,361 --> 01:22:06,463
Hey.

1949
01:22:06,496 --> 01:22:08,331
Yeah?

1950
01:22:08,364 --> 01:22:10,400
- Gary, stop.
- (Gary sighs)

1951
01:22:11,634 --> 01:22:13,603
(scoffs):
What?

1952
01:22:13,636 --> 01:22:16,272
Is this politics?

1953
01:22:16,306 --> 01:22:18,475
It's not politics anymore,
Diana.

1954
01:22:18,508 --> 01:22:20,477
It's... it's math.

1955
01:22:20,510 --> 01:22:21,745
That's what an election is.

1956
01:22:21,778 --> 01:22:23,346
It's just math.

1957
01:22:23,379 --> 01:22:25,749
We need what they get plus one.

1958
01:22:25,782 --> 01:22:27,617
That's all.

1959
01:22:27,650 --> 01:22:29,552
And if I can't get that

1960
01:22:29,586 --> 01:22:31,654
by getting more people
to vote for your dad,

1961
01:22:31,688 --> 01:22:35,492
then I have to get fewer people
to vote for Braun.

1962
01:22:35,525 --> 01:22:36,793
(Gary sighing softly)

1963
01:22:40,830 --> 01:22:42,866
♪ ♪

1964
01:22:47,871 --> 01:22:51,574
(vehicle unlocks, door opens)

1965
01:22:51,608 --> 01:22:53,810
- (door closes)
- (knocking)

1966
01:22:55,545 --> 01:22:57,514
(footsteps approaching)

1967
01:23:00,884 --> 01:23:02,886
(sighs) Hi.

1968
01:23:04,487 --> 01:23:06,790
- Come on in.
- Thank you.

1969
01:23:06,823 --> 01:23:08,625
I'm so sorry.

1970
01:23:11,628 --> 01:23:14,664
I... I'm pulling the plug.

1971
01:23:14,697 --> 01:23:17,333
- Hey, hey.
- I mean, we have the money we need.

1972
01:23:17,367 --> 01:23:18,868
We have more than
we would need.

1973
01:23:18,902 --> 01:23:21,871
And this would...
destroy your brother.

1974
01:23:23,373 --> 01:23:26,509
- And I'm just so sorry.
- Hey.

1975
01:23:27,744 --> 01:23:30,880
You have nothing
to be sorry for.

1976
01:23:31,948 --> 01:23:34,784
You saved us, Diana.

1977
01:23:34,818 --> 01:23:37,687
- Mm-hmm.
- This place was done.

1978
01:23:37,720 --> 01:23:41,357
Just another town in the middle
of nowhere, going nowhere.

1979
01:23:41,391 --> 01:23:45,495
And everyone agreed...
yours was the best idea we had.

1980
01:23:45,528 --> 01:23:48,364
Unless you want to go back
to the two Mikes' idea of...

1981
01:23:48,398 --> 01:23:50,600
(chuckling):
ostrich meat farms.

1982
01:23:51,835 --> 01:23:54,537
Diana, you moving back here,

1983
01:23:54,571 --> 01:23:56,506
caring so much...

1984
01:23:56,539 --> 01:23:58,842
I mean, this whole thing...

1985
01:23:58,875 --> 01:24:00,543
(Braun sighs)

1986
01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:04,848
Well, I just know
how proud of you your dad is

1987
01:24:04,881 --> 01:24:07,383
and how proud
your mom would be.

1988
01:24:09,419 --> 01:24:13,723
And how grateful
every single one of us are

1989
01:24:13,756 --> 01:24:16,626
for what you've done
and everything you've given.

1990
01:24:18,461 --> 01:24:20,463
It's working.

1991
01:24:25,568 --> 01:24:27,570
(sighs):
Okay.

1992
01:24:31,708 --> 01:24:33,843
What do we do about Gary?

1993
01:24:34,878 --> 01:24:37,947
Whatever Gary thinks he's got,

1994
01:24:37,981 --> 01:24:40,550
why don't we just give him
something better?

1995
01:24:42,719 --> 01:24:44,988
♪ ♪

1996
01:24:47,957 --> 01:24:49,692
(sighs)

1997
01:24:49,726 --> 01:24:51,728
(footsteps in hallway)

1998
01:25:04,574 --> 01:25:05,875
Hmm.

1999
01:25:05,909 --> 01:25:07,176
GARY:
<i>No, forget the rehab thing.</i>

2000
01:25:07,211 --> 01:25:09,946
<i>This is bigger. Obviously, you
can't use my name, so just...</i>

2001
01:25:09,979 --> 01:25:12,216
"Senior official
with inside knowledge

2002
01:25:12,249 --> 01:25:13,783
of campaign strategy."

2003
01:25:13,816 --> 01:25:15,518
Yes, you are welcome.

2004
01:25:15,551 --> 01:25:16,686
KURT:
Tell me they're running it.

2005
01:25:16,719 --> 01:25:18,054
- They are running it.
- Oh, yeah, baby!

2006
01:25:18,087 --> 01:25:19,989
- Shit's gonna hit the fan.
- Oh, it feels good.

2007
01:25:20,023 --> 01:25:21,991
Now, the word of the day
is "disappointed."

2008
01:25:22,025 --> 01:25:24,661
We are not mad at the mayor.
We are not shocked.

2009
01:25:24,694 --> 01:25:26,663
- We're just disappointed.
- Yeah, I am disappointed.

2010
01:25:26,696 --> 01:25:28,598
- I'm disappointed, too.
- I mean, it's disappointing.

2011
01:25:28,631 --> 01:25:30,700
- It is. You know what, he's the mayor.
- He betrayed us.

2012
01:25:30,733 --> 01:25:32,468
GARY: He betrayed us,
and it's disappointing.

2013
01:25:32,502 --> 01:25:33,870
- KURT: I'm hurt.
- But I'm not mad.

2014
01:25:33,903 --> 01:25:35,939
- KURT: No, I'm just disappointed.
- Me, too.

2015
01:25:35,972 --> 01:25:37,607
Tonight, we have this picture

2016
01:25:37,640 --> 01:25:38,975
of the alleged
ten-year-old love child

2017
01:25:39,008 --> 01:25:41,544
of the Wisconsin mayor
and the girl's mother.

2018
01:25:41,577 --> 01:25:43,846
We've obscured the child's face
to protect her identity

2019
01:25:43,880 --> 01:25:45,048
but left enough clues

2020
01:25:45,081 --> 01:25:47,550
so that you can probably
figure it out.

2021
01:25:47,583 --> 01:25:49,552
NEWSWOMAN: To discuss this
important, late-breaking story,

2022
01:25:49,585 --> 01:25:51,487
we go to our panel
with a feature

2023
01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:55,625
you'll only see here on CNN:
the Duodecabox.

2024
01:25:55,658 --> 01:25:58,695
What do you think,
Phil, Diane, Liz, Carl,

2025
01:25:58,728 --> 01:26:00,863
Barbara and... let's say Craig?

2026
01:26:00,897 --> 01:26:02,932
(all talking at once)

2027
01:26:05,902 --> 01:26:07,870
(Faith grunts angrily)

2028
01:26:10,840 --> 01:26:12,709
Kaylee?

2029
01:26:12,742 --> 01:26:13,977
- Kaylee.
- Y-Yeah.

2030
01:26:14,010 --> 01:26:15,845
- Can you clean this up, please?
- Oh, sure.

2031
01:26:15,878 --> 01:26:18,014
It was an accident
with the sandwich. Thank you.

2032
01:26:21,584 --> 01:26:23,586
♪ ♪

2033
01:26:31,594 --> 01:26:33,563
(indistinct chatter)

2034
01:26:42,105 --> 01:26:43,773
Hey, man.

2035
01:26:43,806 --> 01:26:45,775
Can I talk to you
about white power?

2036
01:26:45,808 --> 01:26:47,777
(indistinct chatter)

2037
01:26:48,945 --> 01:26:50,613
MAN:
Yeah, guns save lives.

2038
01:26:50,646 --> 01:26:51,914
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.

2039
01:27:00,890 --> 01:27:02,592
It has been
a hard-fought campaign,

2040
01:27:02,625 --> 01:27:04,727
but now it's in the hands
of the voters.

2041
01:27:04,761 --> 01:27:06,963
And excuse me... there's
the Colonel right there.

2042
01:27:06,996 --> 01:27:08,164
- (Jack chuckling)
- Colonel, come on in.

2043
01:27:08,197 --> 01:27:09,632
- Diana.
- Hi. - Hi. Good morning.

2044
01:27:09,665 --> 01:27:10,700
Did you get some rest?

2045
01:27:10,733 --> 01:27:12,035
Yeah, we got a little bit.

2046
01:27:12,068 --> 01:27:13,770
- Excuse us, folks.
- Good morning. Good morning.

2047
01:27:13,803 --> 01:27:15,905
- Excuse us. Excuse us.
- (reporters clamoring)

2048
01:27:15,938 --> 01:27:17,341
BRAUN:
There he is.

2049
01:27:17,374 --> 01:27:18,875
- Billy. Hey.
- Colonel, good to see you, sir.

2050
01:27:18,908 --> 01:27:20,610
- How are you? How are you?
- Good to see you.

2051
01:27:20,643 --> 01:27:21,711
How about a picture?

2052
01:27:21,744 --> 01:27:23,046
- All righty.
- (chuckles)

2053
01:27:23,079 --> 01:27:24,580
FAITH:
Come on. Come on.

2054
01:27:24,614 --> 01:27:25,782
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Thank you.

2055
01:27:25,815 --> 01:27:27,683
Oh, make sure you get
this guy's I.D.

2056
01:27:27,717 --> 01:27:29,018
- (laughter)
- FAITH: Okay.

2057
01:27:29,052 --> 01:27:30,787
Billy, we're just talking
to Fox. Just Fox.

2058
01:27:30,820 --> 01:27:33,589
- JACK: Hello. Good morning.
- Good morning, Jack.

2059
01:27:33,623 --> 01:27:35,658
- Sign right there.
- Yeah. All right.

2060
01:27:35,691 --> 01:27:36,993
Your dad is really something.

2061
01:27:37,026 --> 01:27:38,661
- (chuckling): Yeah.
- He's done a great job.

2062
01:27:38,694 --> 01:27:39,896
- Yeah, yeah.
- JACK: Go over here?

2063
01:27:39,929 --> 01:27:41,664
So have you.
Thank you for everything.

2064
01:27:41,697 --> 01:27:42,832
- It's been...
- My pleasure.

2065
01:27:42,865 --> 01:27:44,100
- So...
- I was thinking, maybe later,

2066
01:27:44,133 --> 01:27:46,035
if you want to watch
the returns come in?

2067
01:27:46,069 --> 01:27:48,171
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'd love to.

2068
01:27:49,806 --> 01:27:51,974
Oh. Oh, shoot.

2069
01:27:52,008 --> 01:27:54,177
You know what? I have to
head back to the farm,

2070
01:27:54,211 --> 01:27:55,845
- but I'll see you later, okay?
- Okay.

2071
01:27:55,878 --> 01:27:57,680
Okay.

2072
01:27:57,713 --> 01:27:59,782
Diana, aren't you gonna vote?

2073
01:28:06,789 --> 01:28:08,124
GARY:
Nothing?

2074
01:28:08,157 --> 01:28:10,193
- No early returns?
- MAN: Nothing.

2075
01:28:10,227 --> 01:28:12,695
- What about exit polling?
- No exit polling.

2076
01:28:12,728 --> 01:28:14,030
Well, is there
another precinct?

2077
01:28:14,063 --> 01:28:15,131
No.

2078
01:28:15,164 --> 01:28:16,732
Well, where else can they vote?

2079
01:28:16,766 --> 01:28:17,967
Well, they can't vote
anywhere else.

2080
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:19,403
Was it all early voting?

2081
01:28:19,436 --> 01:28:21,205
No early voting, no.
Nothing.

2082
01:28:21,238 --> 01:28:23,106
What do you mean,
nobody has voted yet?

2083
01:28:23,139 --> 01:28:24,707
Uh, big guy.

2084
01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:25,942
You're gonna want to see this.

2085
01:28:25,975 --> 01:28:27,143
...smear Mayor Braun
with the falsehood

2086
01:28:27,176 --> 01:28:28,778
of an illegitimate child.

2087
01:28:28,811 --> 01:28:30,847
Which, as the report
you just read stated,

2088
01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:32,949
is actually the man's
dear niece.

2089
01:28:32,982 --> 01:28:35,118
Has the Hastings campaign
apologized?

2090
01:28:35,151 --> 01:28:37,153
FAITH: Uh, no, they haven't,
and it-it's too late for that.

2091
01:28:37,186 --> 01:28:38,988
- GARY: Oh, fuck!
- Mayor Braun continues to

2092
01:28:39,021 --> 01:28:40,723
focus on the issues.

2093
01:28:40,756 --> 01:28:41,991
And quite frankly, Brooke,

2094
01:28:42,024 --> 01:28:43,993
the media owes the mayor
an apology, as well,

2095
01:28:44,026 --> 01:28:46,430
for credulously covering
a poorly sourced story.

2096
01:28:46,463 --> 01:28:48,164
Faith! Congratulations.
Well done.

2097
01:28:48,197 --> 01:28:50,166
- What the fuck are you doing?
- A new low.

2098
01:28:50,199 --> 01:28:51,968
Oh, yeah, like I leaked
a cocked-up story

2099
01:28:52,001 --> 01:28:53,736
about a bastard child
who happens to be

2100
01:28:53,769 --> 01:28:55,004
the man's fucking niece.

2101
01:28:55,037 --> 01:28:56,273
- Please, Gary.
- You fed me that bullshit.

2102
01:28:56,306 --> 01:28:57,773
You know, go fuck yourself.

2103
01:28:57,807 --> 01:28:59,041
- You go fuck yourself.
- You go fuck your...

2104
01:28:59,075 --> 01:29:00,143
BROOKE (chuckling):
Okay, you two.

2105
01:29:00,176 --> 01:29:02,011
Unfortunately, we're gonna
have to leave it there.

2106
01:29:02,044 --> 01:29:03,679
Thank you so much, Brooke.

2107
01:29:03,713 --> 01:29:04,847
- Thank you so much.
- Thanks, Brooke.

2108
01:29:04,881 --> 01:29:05,915
- Thank you.
- CAMERAMAN: We're clear.

2109
01:29:05,948 --> 01:29:08,050
Why would I leak this? Huh?

2110
01:29:08,084 --> 01:29:09,886
Oh, to just make me
take the bait.

2111
01:29:09,919 --> 01:29:11,255
You didn't just want to win.

2112
01:29:11,288 --> 01:29:13,156
You wanted to castrate me,
didn't you?

2113
01:29:13,189 --> 01:29:14,891
If I wanted to cut
your dick off,

2114
01:29:14,924 --> 01:29:16,293
I would have done it
in front of you

2115
01:29:16,326 --> 01:29:19,162
just to see the last look
of horror in your eyes.

2116
01:29:20,196 --> 01:29:21,864
You're telling the truth.

2117
01:29:21,898 --> 01:29:23,300
No shit.

2118
01:29:23,333 --> 01:29:25,168
What the fuck is going on here?

2119
01:29:25,202 --> 01:29:26,769
BECCA:
Evan?

2120
01:29:26,802 --> 01:29:28,004
What...

2121
01:29:28,037 --> 01:29:29,105
Evan.

2122
01:29:29,138 --> 01:29:30,039
(laughing):
Evan, oh, my God.

2123
01:29:30,072 --> 01:29:31,774
- What's up, Becca?
- How the hell are you?

2124
01:29:31,807 --> 01:29:33,142
- Hiya. Nice to see you.
- Good to see you.

2125
01:29:33,176 --> 01:29:35,178
- How's everything?
- Yeah, I mean, it's going.

2126
01:29:35,212 --> 01:29:37,214
What the hell?

2127
01:29:37,247 --> 01:29:39,182
How the hell does he know her?

2128
01:29:39,216 --> 01:29:40,917
Is he from here?

2129
01:29:40,950 --> 01:29:43,953
Gary, look at his shoes.
I mean, really.

2130
01:29:43,986 --> 01:29:45,988
And we have Alan to thank
for bringing this man

2131
01:29:46,022 --> 01:29:47,257
- to our attention.
- It's Evan.

2132
01:29:47,291 --> 01:29:48,891
Did I happen to mention that...

2133
01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:51,093
Holy shit.

2134
01:29:51,127 --> 01:29:53,497
- What? What?
- Come on!

2135
01:29:53,530 --> 01:29:57,967
ALDERMAN: So, with 100%
of the vote counted,

2136
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,305
the mayoral race is tied.

2137
01:30:01,338 --> 01:30:03,739
- (laughter)
- One vote to one vote.

2138
01:30:03,773 --> 01:30:05,074
(cheering)

2139
01:30:05,107 --> 01:30:06,343
GARY:
No.

2140
01:30:06,376 --> 01:30:08,911
Okay, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

2141
01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:11,113
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

2142
01:30:11,147 --> 01:30:13,015
Hold on. I, uh...

2143
01:30:13,049 --> 01:30:15,252
I don't...
I don't know exactly

2144
01:30:15,285 --> 01:30:18,255
what's going on here,
but it's weird.

2145
01:30:18,288 --> 01:30:19,922
Could somebody please
explain to me

2146
01:30:19,956 --> 01:30:21,525
- what's happening?
- Well, we had an election.

2147
01:30:21,558 --> 01:30:23,893
- Yes, I know that.
- And we gave it our best.

2148
01:30:23,926 --> 01:30:25,027
Just didn't work out.

2149
01:30:25,061 --> 01:30:26,363
Didn't work out, Jack?
Come on.

2150
01:30:26,396 --> 01:30:28,831
Do you know how much money
we invested in this?

2151
01:30:28,864 --> 01:30:30,766
Yeah, if the news media
is to be believed,

2152
01:30:30,800 --> 01:30:34,538
more than $45 million was
raised between the two of you.

2153
01:30:34,571 --> 01:30:36,138
- (laughing)
- (cheering, applause)

2154
01:30:40,244 --> 01:30:42,812
(laughing)

2155
01:30:42,845 --> 01:30:45,915
Oh, shit.

2156
01:30:45,948 --> 01:30:47,917
Did you sucker me, Jack?

2157
01:30:47,950 --> 01:30:49,986
I guess.

2158
01:30:50,019 --> 01:30:51,988
GARY:
You know what? Folks, sorry,

2159
01:30:52,021 --> 01:30:53,257
but I'm getting
all that money back.

2160
01:30:53,290 --> 01:30:54,291
From where?

2161
01:30:54,324 --> 01:30:56,892
We put millions
into those PACs.

2162
01:30:56,926 --> 01:30:58,828
Well, campaign finance law says

2163
01:30:58,861 --> 01:31:00,997
that money needn't be
accounted for.

2164
01:31:01,030 --> 01:31:03,099
- (laughter, applause)
- Oh, my God.

2165
01:31:03,132 --> 01:31:05,134
I got to give it to this place.

2166
01:31:06,168 --> 01:31:08,170
Hey, Alan.

2167
01:31:08,205 --> 01:31:09,339
Uh, it's Evan.

2168
01:31:09,373 --> 01:31:10,840
Shit weasel.

2169
01:31:10,873 --> 01:31:12,576
You're from this town,
aren't you?

2170
01:31:12,609 --> 01:31:14,378
- Yeah.
- You set this whole thing up.

2171
01:31:14,411 --> 01:31:16,112
You set me up, huh?

2172
01:31:16,145 --> 01:31:18,981
You are so fired,
and you're going to jail!

2173
01:31:19,015 --> 01:31:20,149
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

2174
01:31:20,182 --> 01:31:21,951
It was me. I did it.

2175
01:31:21,984 --> 01:31:23,253
You?

2176
01:31:24,388 --> 01:31:26,055
(scoffs):
Wh...

2177
01:31:26,088 --> 01:31:27,291
Why?

2178
01:31:27,324 --> 01:31:29,359
You know...

2179
01:31:29,393 --> 01:31:32,329
(laughing): it was just
this weird idea I had

2180
01:31:32,362 --> 01:31:34,298
'cause the town needed money.

2181
01:31:34,331 --> 01:31:36,866
(chuckles)
So you...

2182
01:31:36,899 --> 01:31:38,201
Uh, shot the video,

2183
01:31:38,235 --> 01:31:41,305
and then had Evan
show it to you.

2184
01:31:41,338 --> 01:31:42,372
Uh, I...

2185
01:31:42,406 --> 01:31:45,174
We needed 750 grand
over three years

2186
01:31:45,208 --> 01:31:47,076
to keep the school
from closing down.

2187
01:31:47,109 --> 01:31:49,045
We blew way past that.

2188
01:31:49,078 --> 01:31:51,315
We got enough to buy back
the base, redevelop it.

2189
01:31:53,049 --> 01:31:56,386
And the speech,
the viral speech?

2190
01:31:56,420 --> 01:31:58,154
BRAUN:
<i>Can I get a motion to vote?</i>

2191
01:31:58,187 --> 01:31:59,323
JACK: <i>Actually,
I'm here about that...</i>

2192
01:31:59,356 --> 01:32:01,891
Fuck, what's the word?
Resolution.

2193
01:32:01,924 --> 01:32:04,193
- I'll get it.
- DIANA: Mike, do you want to help him and...

2194
01:32:04,227 --> 01:32:05,462
Yeah.

2195
01:32:05,495 --> 01:32:07,364
Just have it low enough.

2196
01:32:07,397 --> 01:32:09,131
BRAUN: Just leave enough room
for that road sign in there.

2197
01:32:09,165 --> 01:32:10,900
- Uh, am I supposed to have these on?
- DIANA: No glasses.

2198
01:32:10,933 --> 01:32:13,337
- I'm lost.
- (laughter)

2199
01:32:13,370 --> 01:32:14,937
DIANA (sighs):
Okay, Dad, that's good,

2200
01:32:14,970 --> 01:32:16,340
but you have to leave after.

2201
01:32:16,373 --> 01:32:17,139
All right, one more time.

2202
01:32:17,173 --> 01:32:19,975
I guess they weren't
principles.

2203
01:32:21,244 --> 01:32:23,347
They're just hobbies.

2204
01:32:30,420 --> 01:32:32,422
DIANA:
Holy shit, I think we got it.

2205
01:32:32,456 --> 01:32:34,857
- (laughter, cheering)
- Oh, thank God.

2206
01:32:40,497 --> 01:32:43,266
(cheering, whooping)

2207
01:32:46,936 --> 01:32:49,004
That was really just
baiting the hook.

2208
01:32:49,038 --> 01:32:51,375
You guys took it from there.
I was never expecting her.

2209
01:32:51,408 --> 01:32:53,377
Oh, I had a fucking blast.

2210
01:32:55,044 --> 01:32:57,012
So you used me.

2211
01:32:59,014 --> 01:33:00,484
We used you?

2212
01:33:00,517 --> 01:33:03,453
You guys only show up here
once every four years,

2213
01:33:03,487 --> 01:33:05,988
and only then
'cause it's a swing state.

2214
01:33:06,021 --> 01:33:08,392
And then, when it's over,
you're gone.

2215
01:33:08,425 --> 01:33:09,992
But we're still here

2216
01:33:10,025 --> 01:33:12,262
with all the same problems
we had before,

2217
01:33:12,295 --> 01:33:14,196
just waiting around
for you to come back

2218
01:33:14,231 --> 01:33:17,066
and make the same
empty promises as last time.

2219
01:33:18,100 --> 01:33:19,969
We used the system.

2220
01:33:20,002 --> 01:33:21,338
You make millions of dollars

2221
01:33:21,371 --> 01:33:23,105
funneling tens of millions
of dollars

2222
01:33:23,139 --> 01:33:27,244
into this election economy.

2223
01:33:27,277 --> 01:33:30,313
All we did is take a cut.

2224
01:33:31,981 --> 01:33:33,550
Hmm.

2225
01:33:33,583 --> 01:33:35,151
Well...

2226
01:33:35,184 --> 01:33:37,721
I guess I just...

2227
01:33:37,754 --> 01:33:42,426
I thought that maybe you and I
had a little something.

2228
01:33:42,459 --> 01:33:44,327
(chuckles softly)

2229
01:33:47,096 --> 01:33:50,032
(chuckling):
I'm 28. I mean...

2230
01:33:50,065 --> 01:33:53,969
In what world
would this be okay?

2231
01:33:56,138 --> 01:33:58,241
D.C. and L.A.,
parts of New York,

2232
01:33:58,275 --> 01:34:00,109
- Miami, maybe Dallas.
- Mm.

2233
01:34:00,142 --> 01:34:02,178
(chuckles)

2234
01:34:02,212 --> 01:34:04,214
Look...

2235
01:34:05,248 --> 01:34:07,517
- It wasn't personal.
- Mm.

2236
01:34:07,551 --> 01:34:09,286
It was math.

2237
01:34:09,319 --> 01:34:11,053
Math.

2238
01:34:12,222 --> 01:34:16,158
But this system,
the way we elect people,

2239
01:34:16,192 --> 01:34:18,160
it's terrifying.

2240
01:34:18,194 --> 01:34:20,196
And exhausting.

2241
01:34:20,230 --> 01:34:23,333
And I think it's
driving us all insane.

2242
01:34:26,503 --> 01:34:28,137
(chuckles)

2243
01:34:29,239 --> 01:34:31,541
♪ ♪

2244
01:34:31,575 --> 01:34:33,410
BIG MIKE: You know what
the real problem here

2245
01:34:33,443 --> 01:34:35,445
is that the media
is completely complicit

2246
01:34:35,479 --> 01:34:37,247
- in this sort of thing.
- Oh, I absolutely agree.

2247
01:34:37,280 --> 01:34:38,515
I mean, it's like
Neil Postman said...

2248
01:34:38,548 --> 01:34:40,115
in entertaining ourselves,

2249
01:34:40,149 --> 01:34:41,785
- news has become entertainment.
- Yeah. Yeah.

2250
01:34:41,818 --> 01:34:43,620
- And when that happens... (sputters) it's gone.
- Yeah.

2251
01:34:43,653 --> 01:34:45,355
I thought he knew.
I mean, I would get so nervous

2252
01:34:45,388 --> 01:34:47,224
- every time he would come in. I would just, like...
- Oh, no.

2253
01:34:47,257 --> 01:34:48,358
I couldn't get
my coffee order right,

2254
01:34:48,391 --> 01:34:49,593
and I was giving him
the wrong thing.

2255
01:34:49,626 --> 01:34:51,228
Oh, you were great.
You were perfect.

2256
01:34:51,261 --> 01:34:52,529
Plus, you know, he has,
you know,

2257
01:34:52,562 --> 01:34:54,297
dreamy eyes a little bit,
so, I mean...

2258
01:34:54,331 --> 01:34:55,632
- Yeah.
- He's-he's dashing.

2259
01:34:55,665 --> 01:34:58,100
He actually made me cry.

2260
01:34:58,133 --> 01:35:00,403
- He was, like, a shithead.
- Yeah.

2261
01:35:00,437 --> 01:35:02,305
It metastasizes,
so it-it's growing

2262
01:35:02,339 --> 01:35:03,540
- and-and whatever, so...
- Yeah.

2263
01:35:03,573 --> 01:35:05,208
Well, it becomes...
it's sort of like

2264
01:35:05,242 --> 01:35:06,376
any sort of
autoimmune disorder.

2265
01:35:06,409 --> 01:35:07,644
- Yeah.
- It's like... it's like lupus.

2266
01:35:07,677 --> 01:35:09,144
Know what I mean?

2267
01:35:09,178 --> 01:35:10,514
That's actually
a really great metaphor.

2268
01:35:10,547 --> 01:35:12,382
- That's... that's like...
- It's a simile.

2269
01:35:12,415 --> 01:35:14,049
- 'Cause you said...
- 'Cause I said...

2270
01:35:14,083 --> 01:35:15,519
- I said it's "like."
- You said it's "like."

2271
01:35:15,552 --> 01:35:17,152
Yeah, right.
It's like lupus.

2272
01:35:18,421 --> 01:35:21,258
What a clusterfuck.

2273
01:35:21,291 --> 01:35:23,293
Amen.

2274
01:35:27,497 --> 01:35:29,164
DIANA:
<i>How we looking?</i>

2275
01:35:29,198 --> 01:35:32,167
Well, they're saying
these, uh, back acres

2276
01:35:32,202 --> 01:35:35,472
are gonna become the over-55
community health center.

2277
01:35:35,505 --> 01:35:37,340
- Uh-huh.
- Madison has promised

2278
01:35:37,374 --> 01:35:39,141
a satellite campus
for the front.

2279
01:35:39,174 --> 01:35:41,278
Okay. And you know
that we have to redo

2280
01:35:41,311 --> 01:35:42,546
the septic on the back 50?

2281
01:35:42,579 --> 01:35:44,079
- We heard all about it.
- Okay.

2282
01:35:44,113 --> 01:35:45,147
Hey, you.

2283
01:35:45,180 --> 01:35:46,483
Oh, hey, you.

2284
01:35:46,516 --> 01:35:49,286
- (chuckling)
- She is something, huh?

2285
01:35:55,392 --> 01:35:57,360
DIANA:
Are you listening to me?

2286
01:36:00,162 --> 01:36:02,164
(Faith's voice):
Are you listening to me?

2287
01:36:03,400 --> 01:36:05,569
ANN:
<i>Are you listening to me?</i>

2288
01:36:05,602 --> 01:36:07,169
Oh, Gary, honey.

2289
01:36:07,203 --> 01:36:08,538
(sighs)
I'm just so excited.

2290
01:36:08,572 --> 01:36:10,607
I can't wait till we get
the café tables in.

2291
01:36:10,640 --> 01:36:14,578
I think people are really gonna
like those a lot, you know?

2292
01:36:14,611 --> 01:36:17,881
- And then we can put the umbrellas up.
- Mm-hmm.

2293
01:36:17,914 --> 01:36:20,617
And people can just sit outside
and have coffee and...

2294
01:36:20,650 --> 01:36:22,151
You know.

2295
01:36:22,184 --> 01:36:23,420
Are you...
are you listening to me?

2296
01:36:23,453 --> 01:36:25,622
- Mm-hmm, mm...
- Are you listening to me?

2297
01:36:25,655 --> 01:36:28,157
(Faith's voice):
Hey, fuckup. Hey, fuckup.

2298
01:36:28,190 --> 01:36:30,694
- Are you listening to me?
- GARY: Yes, yes, yes.

2299
01:36:30,727 --> 01:36:32,462
I'm listening to you.

2300
01:36:32,495 --> 01:36:35,197
You don't open a dossier
for less than $2 million.

2301
01:36:35,231 --> 01:36:37,601
I know. That's what I'm talking
to them about right now.

2302
01:36:37,634 --> 01:36:39,235
$2 million.

2303
01:36:39,269 --> 01:36:40,604
God, I hate you.

2304
01:36:40,637 --> 01:36:42,339
Ditto.

2305
01:36:42,372 --> 01:36:44,341
♪ ♪

2306
01:36:44,374 --> 01:36:46,309
MAN (over phone):
Gary?

2307
01:36:46,343 --> 01:36:48,511
Gary, you there?

2308
01:36:48,545 --> 01:36:50,547
Gary?

2309
01:36:50,580 --> 01:36:52,515
Yo, Gary.

2310
01:36:54,718 --> 01:36:56,185
Ah, cheers!

2311
01:36:56,219 --> 01:36:58,254
(excited chatter)

2312
01:37:02,459 --> 01:37:04,461
♪ ♪

2313
01:37:20,477 --> 01:37:22,712
Colonel Jack Hastings,
Deerlaken...

2314
01:37:22,746 --> 01:37:24,781
did the media fall
for a false narrative

2315
01:37:24,814 --> 01:37:27,283
just because it fit
into our preconceived notion

2316
01:37:27,317 --> 01:37:29,653
of the divide of this country
between red and blue

2317
01:37:29,686 --> 01:37:31,955
without actually
checking the facts?

2318
01:37:31,988 --> 01:37:34,224
Were we irresponsible?

2319
01:37:34,257 --> 01:37:35,392
Well, we're the news.

2320
01:37:35,425 --> 01:37:37,961
Are we not supposed to
cover the news?

2321
01:37:37,994 --> 01:37:39,963
I mean, these are
newsworthy stories.

2322
01:37:39,996 --> 01:37:42,465
We're absolutely in the right
to cover them.

2323
01:37:42,499 --> 01:37:46,269
It is literally our job
to cover the news.

2324
01:37:46,302 --> 01:37:47,470
But isn't there a way
to report the news

2325
01:37:47,504 --> 01:37:49,205
without so much speculation,

2326
01:37:49,239 --> 01:37:51,274
without a false sense
of urgency

2327
01:37:51,307 --> 01:37:53,977
that causes us to
breathlessly report "facts"

2328
01:37:54,010 --> 01:37:55,512
that maybe are not facts?

2329
01:37:55,545 --> 01:37:57,547
And are we framing
these stories

2330
01:37:57,580 --> 01:37:59,582
on an artificial
right-left axis

2331
01:37:59,616 --> 01:38:02,519
because that's how
our pundit economy is set up?

2332
01:38:02,552 --> 01:38:04,554
Is there a better way
to do this?

2333
01:38:10,260 --> 01:38:11,161
I'm just kidding.

2334
01:38:11,193 --> 01:38:12,762
Unfortunately,
we have to leave it there.

2335
01:38:12,796 --> 01:38:15,231
- Thank you all for watching.
- (laughing): She's...

2336
01:38:15,265 --> 01:38:16,733
MAN (laughing):
<i>She's good.</i>

2337
01:38:16,766 --> 01:38:19,803
("Mess Is Mine" by Vance Joy
playing)

2338
01:38:22,772 --> 01:38:25,408
♪ Talking like we used to do ♪

2339
01:38:26,743 --> 01:38:29,412
♪ It was always me and you ♪

2340
01:38:30,647 --> 01:38:34,551
♪ Hold on, darling ♪

2341
01:38:35,785 --> 01:38:38,321
♪ This body is yours ♪

2342
01:38:38,354 --> 01:38:42,425
♪ This body is yours and mine ♪

2343
01:38:43,693 --> 01:38:49,299
♪ Well, hold on, my darling ♪

2344
01:38:49,332 --> 01:38:51,801
♪ This mess was yours ♪

2345
01:38:53,436 --> 01:38:56,573
♪ Now your mess is mine ♪

2346
01:39:02,412 --> 01:39:05,849
♪ Ah-ooh ♪

2347
01:39:07,517 --> 01:39:10,420
♪ Your mess is mine ♪

2348
01:39:10,453 --> 01:39:12,622
♪ See you in
the marketplace... ♪

2349
01:39:12,655 --> 01:39:15,425
JON STEWART: Could something
like this happen?

2350
01:39:15,458 --> 01:39:19,562
Legally, this could
absolutely happen.

2351
01:39:19,596 --> 01:39:24,434
Somebody could create
a political organization...

2352
01:39:24,467 --> 01:39:28,471
so-called outside group,
a super PAC, 527...

2353
01:39:28,505 --> 01:39:31,374
raise an unlimited
amount of money,

2354
01:39:31,407 --> 01:39:34,577
and then choose
to give that money

2355
01:39:34,611 --> 01:39:37,514
to another organization,
a charity,

2356
01:39:37,547 --> 01:39:40,483
and use it for public purposes.

2357
01:39:40,517 --> 01:39:43,720
And you don't need
the donors' consent to do that.

2358
01:39:43,753 --> 01:39:45,789
The problem we have is that

2359
01:39:45,822 --> 01:39:49,526
none of the pieces of
the system are working today.

2360
01:39:49,559 --> 01:39:52,829
You have regulators like
the Federal Election Commission

2361
01:39:52,862 --> 01:39:54,764
that don't have a quorum,
can't meet,

2362
01:39:54,798 --> 01:39:57,667
and when they do, they disagree
on what the law is.

2363
01:39:57,700 --> 01:40:01,471
You have Congress deadlocked
so it can't rewrite the laws.

2364
01:40:01,504 --> 01:40:03,473
You have the Supreme Court

2365
01:40:03,506 --> 01:40:06,943
that thinks that
almost nothing is corrupt

2366
01:40:06,976 --> 01:40:11,548
and that citizens won't think
the sale of access...

2367
01:40:11,581 --> 01:40:13,817
what the court calls
ingratiation

2368
01:40:13,850 --> 01:40:18,588
in return for giving money
to candidates... is a problem.

2369
01:40:18,621 --> 01:40:21,424
STEWART: So, to sum up,
we currently have

2370
01:40:21,457 --> 01:40:22,826
hundreds of millions
to billions of dollars

2371
01:40:22,859 --> 01:40:25,428
that is, uh, uh, untraceable,

2372
01:40:25,461 --> 01:40:27,897
uh, that can pour into groups

2373
01:40:27,931 --> 01:40:30,900
that are actually coordinating
with-with candidates

2374
01:40:30,934 --> 01:40:33,870
who end up having to spend
a good amount of their time

2375
01:40:33,903 --> 01:40:35,839
raising more and more money
to keep up

2376
01:40:35,872 --> 01:40:38,808
with the arms race
that is occurring.

2377
01:40:38,842 --> 01:40:42,846
Uh, the money continues
to pour in and corrupt

2378
01:40:42,879 --> 01:40:45,582
not just where
they spend their time

2379
01:40:45,615 --> 01:40:48,718
and how they spend their time
but on the types of legislation

2380
01:40:48,751 --> 01:40:51,621
that they would even bring
to the fore.

2381
01:40:51,654 --> 01:40:54,591
And the one group
that would be charged

2382
01:40:54,624 --> 01:40:59,696
with regulating, uh,
this spigot, uh, doesn't meet

2383
01:40:59,729 --> 01:41:01,865
'cause there aren't
enough of them.

2384
01:41:01,898 --> 01:41:03,867
Yes.

2385
01:41:03,900 --> 01:41:06,970
(both laughing)

2386
01:41:07,003 --> 01:41:09,472
I realize that's not helpful
to you, but...

2387
01:41:09,505 --> 01:41:11,407
It is very helpful.
Thank you.

2388
01:41:11,441 --> 01:41:12,675
♪ Ooh ♪

2389
01:41:12,709 --> 01:41:15,545
♪ Your mess is mine ♪

2390
01:41:18,715 --> 01:41:20,884
♪ Your mess is mine. ♪

2391
01:41:20,917 --> 01:41:22,685
(song ends)

2392
01:41:22,719 --> 01:41:24,721
♪ ♪

2393
01:41:24,885 --> 01:41:29,885

2394
01:41:56,819 --> 01:41:58,821
(music ends)