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[matchstick scratching]
[gentle music]
[seagulls chirping]
[gentle music]
I love this one.
Something, isn't it?
Most uplifting.
It's funny, I was thinking just the opposite.
Cheer up love, it might never happen.
That's what I'm worried about, what if it never does?
What if this is it?
Well, then it could always be worse.
You know, even if you're being pissed on, it's always sunny above the clouds.
Wow.
That was cringe.
Funny, people usually go wild for that one.
Mostly drunk people, mind.
Yeah, I can see why. [laughing]
So how come you're down there, instead of up there?
Ah, you know, work, home.
Not really, no.
Oh I guess not.
Sounds like I dodged a bullet.
Oh I didn't mean, like, of course, I, sorry.
Sorry. All's I ever get is sorry.
Change? Sorry.
Got the time? Sorry, sorry for what?
I've got most of me wits and a good quality sleeping bag. I'm winning.
And I suppose you can come in here,
look at all the pictures, meet new people.
Yeah well, the pictures are usually better company.
-But you're tolerable. -Thanks, I guess.
My name's Oz, like the antipodean landmass.
Charlie, like the overpriced narcotic.
-Do people ever bother you? -Sometimes.
I can never get to the bottom of them.
-Oh, I meant do people in here-- -Oh, I know what you meant.
And no, they don't.
Thing is, see, I can make myself invisible.
Okay.
Observe.
[clapping]
[bright music]
[Sylvia clears throat]
Charlie!
Finally legal. You kept that one quiet.
Short notice and that, but here, for my little work sister.
Aspirin?
Welcome to adulthood.
These are for tomorrow, you're going to need them.
We're going out on the lash. And guess who's finally buying?
[laughing]
[gentle music]
-[dog barking] -[phone buzzing]
What, it's vintage.
Hello, you're through to Charlie.
For birthday wishes, please press one.
-For all other inquiries, please press-- -[Susan] Charlie,
what are you playing at?
I'm not playing mom, I'm at work.
Many happy returns to you too.
[Daisy clears throat]
Listen, Mom, I was gonna go out raving tonight
-with Daisy. -What about our birthday dinner?
Shit, shit, yeah, tomorrow?
We fly tomorrow, darling.
Do you listen to a word I say?
No comment, Ma.
Listen it's my 18th, if I want to go out--
We'll see you at home, don't be late.
Listen Ma, I've got to go, duty calls.
Do I need to remind you again of our policy
on personal phone calls?
It was important.
It was just your parents.
You're 18 today.
Time to grow up.
[gentle music]
[bus guide] Margate's popularity as a seaside resort
continued to grow,
and the town had its heyday in the late 19th century
when artists including J. M. W. Turner
were drawn by its unique light and atmospheric conditions.
Turner first visited Margate aged 11
having been sent by his parents.
[gentle music]
[device beeps]
[Susan on radio] Charlie, was that you?
Black Sheep to Mama Bear, didn't copy.
- [Susan on radio] Charlie, can't we just-- -Black Sheep standing by.
[Susan sighs on radio] Mama Bear to Black Sheep.
Dinner's almost ready, and we've got an early start tomorrow.
[Charlie on radio] Ah yes, your paradise break with Captain Sensible.
-He's not plotting to renew your vows or something, is he? -[Susan laughs] Don't be silly.
No, I suppose romance isn't exactly dad's M.O., is it?
Uh Susan, I was, uh, thinking, it's been a while,
we should get our vows redone.
Think of it as a, uh, MOT for the marriage.
Here's a minister, and some flowers, what do you say?
He'll probably give me one of his little talkings too before you fly.
-Uh Charlotte, you may have messed up your... -Charlie.
...exams but there's still time to find something
soul-destroying to do with your life, okay?
What's, um, gotten into her?
[cutlery clanking]
[soft piano music]
Shall we open the cards?
Yeah. [laughs]
[background talk]
Obliged muchly.
[background talk]
What's the pot?
Charlotte.
Papa?
You know we want what's best for you.
What you think is best for me.
Have you had a think about what you want to--
-I thought I might apply to art school. -I mean apart from--
-Art school! -Art's not a career!
It's all very nice in its place,
but all I'm saying is you need to think things through.
-Well, that makes a change. -Just have a look
on the website for the Community College. If you can retake one or two
-How would I even get there? -A-Levels-- Wait.
You need to find a path to some kind of financial security.
-You can keep doing your drawing on the side-- -My drawing?
-Charlie, listen, we were young once and we know-- -How are you on his side?
-Charlotte-- -My name is Charlie!
It says Charlotte on your bloody birth certificate, that's good enough for me!
[chair thumping]
[door shutting]
-[bag unzipping] -[sirens wailing]
Oz, it is Oz, isn't it?
You've got to help us out, I'm looking for something of mine.
Piece of paper, about yea big.
Picture of a bird in a shiny hat.
-I haven't got any money. -No?
Come on old man, help us out.
What you got, ID, hmm?
Bloke like you has got to have ID.
[panting]
Look at this boat race,
hardly a mark on it.
We're going to be neighbors from now on,
We need to work together.
Share and care, help each other out.
And I really, really need that tenner back.
I'm sorry, I don't have any money.
[Oz grunting]
[Oz coughing]
[Susan] Morning.
Oh.
[Susan] There we go.
Is there anything for me?
Oh, yes, that looks like Uncle Lloyd's writing.
Lloyd's TSB.
Twenty?
It's just 20 now, is it?
They probably assume as you get older,
you'll get a job and some disposable income.
Well, of course now I'm 18,
I should be making my own way in the world,
is that why you didn't get me a birthday present?
[clears throat]
We'll discuss it when we get back.
That, and a few other things.
I can't wait!
No, actually, I can.
[car horn honking]
Susan!
Shouldn't be using the horn in a built-up area before eight a.m.
God, try and unwind on holiday, yeah?
-Susan! -[Susan from other room] Just a minute!
Come on, we're cutting it fine for check in. Susan!
[Susan] Charlie, Charlie, come here.
Okay, the fridge is full so you won't need this,
but just in case of an emergency.
-Sweet, Royal Bank of Susan! -Do not tell you father.
And don't spend it on anything, um, foolish, okay? Muah.
Oh, uh, the PIN, day you were born.
[gentle music]
[cheerful music]
[answering machine] Message received today at 8:45 a.m.
-[Susan on phone] Hi sweetheart. -Oh Susan.
We made it to the airport with some time to spare.
Well, in fact, check-in isn't even open yet.
-Your dad was a bit cautious. -And bears are Catholic?
-Anyway, um, I couldn't go without telling you. -Go on?
I know you and him don't always see eye to eye--
-And the Pope does his business in the woods. -But we did get you a present.
-Yeah, shoes. You do realize it's my 18th, right? -It's your 18th
and we thought it was time to, well, oh, go and have a look in the garage.
-Oh my God. -Happy birthday darling,
-Dad chose it. -Seriously?
He says brighter colors are safer.
Safer, right.
And, you know, if you do decide
to give the Community College a go,
you'll be needing some wheels!
Listen, Ma, if you think that this is going to--
[answering machine] This message will be deleted in seven days.
[cheerful music]
[gentle music]
¶ Sometimes you feel The wind begin to turn ¶
¶ It's not as if you know ¶
¶ The way that It will take you ¶
¶ Feel it on your face ¶
¶ See it in the trees ¶
¶ There's something In the air for you ¶
¶ The landscape that You knew becomes a blur ¶
¶ It's hard to tell yourself ¶
¶ The only way is onward ¶
¶ Shoulder to the wind ¶
¶ Forward through the rain ¶
¶ The only one Who knows the way is you ¶
¶ Maybe you'll fly Maybe you'll fall ¶
¶ You really have No choice at all ¶
¶ The storm is up You have to ride the wind ¶
¶ After the stories And the lies ¶
¶ The half-remembered Lullabies ¶
-[smoke alarm beeping] -¶ The storm is up ¶
¶ You have to ride the wind ¶
Shit!
Fuck, shit!
[smoke alarm beeping]
Fucking hell!
¶ After the stories And the lies ¶
¶ The half-remembered Lullabies ¶
¶ The storm is up ¶
¶ You have to ride the wind ¶
[gentle music]
[Charlie] I've got another dad.
-Your dad's gay? -No--
No, no, no, no, Jack's not my real dad.
My real dad's name's William Malone, he lives in Scotland.
Oh my God.
Well, are you going to go and meet him?
Well, I don't know, yeah.
Yeah I guess, I should go find him.
I should go now while the bastards are still on holiday.
Hey, we can take my car, you can drive, right?
-Hold on, you've got a car? -I'll explain it on the way.
Daisy, this will be amazing.
Just me and you, on the road, off the leash.
Babes, we've got shifts all week.
Yeah, and I've got a dad I've never met!
Look, it might be alright for you to chuck your job, but I need this.
I need them to take me on full time.
Yeah, right.
Yep, didn't think it through, did I?
[Daisy] Charlie!
[exhales]
Hey, Oz.
Might never happen.
My dad's not my real dad.
Ouch!
They lied to me.
My real father's name is William Malone.
He lives on the Isle of Skye.
Long way from here.
Yeah, right now that sounds pretty appealing.
Do you ever get the urge to just leave it all behind?
All what?
Oh my God, your face.
I told you two o'clock, but no, you had something--
Who's this?
Oh, this is Oz, like the landmass.
I'm administering first aid.
Yeah, but you can't bring him in here!
We've got a policy.
Oh well, I've got a policy of my own,
and it's if someone's bleeding, you help them.
-This is a hygiene hazard. -I've been called worse.
-Yes, sir, if you could excuse us. -[Oz] I'll move along,
-sorry-- -No, no, you can't do this, he's a human being.
-He can't be in here! -Then neither can I!
Oz, who did this to you?
-Lad from down the shelter. -Why?
Cards, money, overpriced narcotics, you know.
Not really, no.
He wanted money, I didn't have any,
so he gave me a bit of a pat down.
Looking for what?
-Means you're somebody, you can get a bed. -But it's got your face on it.
Yeah, well most people don't look that closely.
If I had one of those, I could drive to Skye.
Legally speaking you can drive on your provisional.
All you need is a responsible adult in the passenger seat.
Someone who's held a license for more than...
No, absolutely not.
Well, you're a responsible adult!
Most would dispute that, I'd dispute that!
-Oz, I haven't got anyone else. -Well I can't, I've got... business.
Come on, it'll get you away from here for a few days.
And the change will do you good, pun not intended.
Okay.
-Oh my God, you're in? -Okay, fine, I'm in.
-But I don't do any driving, I don't touch the wheel, deal? -Deal!
-Well let's go. -What right now?
Believe it or not, I'm already packed.
[upbeat music]
[car engine revving]
[upbeat music]
What's this?
Um--
Precious cargo?
Hygiene hazard?
I just thought it's still got that new car smell.
And you've got a tiny bit of an aroma.
Aroma?
-Why, I've never been so comfy though. -Right?
And we've got snacks, fruit, tunes, sleeping bags.
Did you say sleeping bags?
May just have done.
Seatbelt.
You've driven before, right?
Dad-- Jack gave me a couple of lessons,
but we had a-- he's just got this tone of voice that he uses.
Ah, say no more.
[car engine revving]
[car sputters]
Okay, don't walk before we can run.
Right, handbrake on, clutch down, out of gear.
Now, restart the engine.
Give it some gas, but gently this time.
Imagine it's a small animal,
and you're standing on its belly until it starts to growl.
[engine revs]
That's it.
-Mirrors. -Okay, you know that tone of voice?
[cheerful music]
You know it goes faster.
Don't want to run before we can walk?
[cheerful music]
Motorway?
Learners aren't allowed on the motorway!
Well, it's a bit late now!
Oz, what do I do, tell me what to do, I need help!
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, preserve us now and in the hour
-of our need. -Not that kind of help!
-What the hell was that? -Nothing, I just--
last time I--
it's been a while since I been in a car, that's all.
-I'm fine. -You don't look fine.
Look, if this is a thing, then we can just turn around and go home.
No, just not the motorway.
I've only got one pair of pants.
-Explains the aroma. -Grow up.
Anyway, I don't have a home to go to, do I?
Right, right, it's just...
Do you think this is a good idea?
Well, whenever I'm not sure about something,
I ask the Queen.
Okay, the Queen?
Heads we head north, tails we turn tail.
You'd really flip a coin over this?
You're right, you don't know me.
[gentle music]
What'll you say when you meet him?
[Charlie] I don't know
Well, you should have a few words prepared.
-Tell you what, I'll be him, see, you be you. -I be me?
-Think you can manage? -Well, go on then.
Well you have to knock at the door first.
I may not live in a house, but I understand the rudiments.
-[knocks on window] -[car door opens]
Hello?
Uh, hi.
What can I do you for?
I'm looking for William Malone.
That is I, I am he, I am William Malone, I am, I am.
-He's not gonna talk like that. -You don't know that,
he might be a nutter. What do you want?
Why have you come here, to my house, what I live in?
I came to-- I... Hi.
My name's Charlie.
Charlotte Malone.
I'm your daughter.
-[Oz screams] -[car door closes]
-What was that? -Worst case scenario.
Go in too hard, see, and you'll spook him.
Specially if he's a nutter.
Deal with a lot of nutters, do you?
You meet a few in my line of work.
Well, William won't be a nutter.
Although, what if he's a...
-A bum? -I wouldn't mind, I like bums.
-[Oz laughs] -Right, grow up.
We prefer the term domestically challenged.
Well, if William is domestically challenged, that's fine by me.
[gentle music]
What if he's had a sex change and I've got two moms?
Or, or, or, or he could be an Earl of somewhere?
Or he could be an actor and I could've been seeing him on the TV for years
and not even known he was my dad.
Don't watch much TV.
No, I guess not.
What do you do for kicks then, drink?
What makes you ask that?
Just something dad-- Jack says,
"People like that have just made bad choices."
And does Jack know many of the domestically challenged?
Don't get much more domestic than him.
[Oz] Well, there you go.
[Charlie] So do you, then, drink?
[Oz] You offering?
-What about a flutter? -Oh, cards and dice
can be a nice little earner when you're on the street.
Ah, but they can also put you there in the first place.
So there must have been a point you went from living in a house to not?
Oz?
Yesterday I had a dad, I had a job,
who'd have thought that when we were sat in front of that painting that we would...
Point taken.
[gentle music]
Get off, oh!
-Still here? -Some responsible adult you are.
Well in my line of work, you've got to be able to sleep through anything.
Well, it's my turn now.
Eh?
A doze, Oz.
A kip, a nap, I'm going to turn in.
Chop up, get some shut eye, hit the sack.
Throw some z's.
[gentle music]
[Oz] They won't have my type.
They bloody will, the Royal Bank of Susan's
paying good money for the pleasure.
Black Sheep to Straw Man.
What?
Straw Man hold the big button down, the big one.
-Are you sure about-- -Black Sheep!
Bloody hell.
Straw Man to Black Sheep, is this a good idea?
-Over. -One of my best.
Third room along, strobe light.
[gentle music]
Bloody hell. What--
[gentle music]
-[Oz grunts] -[Oz pants]
Straw Man to Black Sheep, I think we're safe, over.
[gentle music]
Well it's not exactly the night sky.
No, but there is a hot shower.
What do you draw, then?
I don't know, I just sort of get obsessed with a face
and draw it over and over.
Always faces, I've no idea why.
Well it makes sense, doesn't it?
First thing you see when you come into the world is a ruddy great face looming over you.
Two if you're lucky.
[birds chirping]
[grunts]
-Obliged muchly. -[Charlie laughs]
I'm sorry, but the look on your face was worth its weight.
Here, what if she calls someone?
And says what? Eating one of these breakfasts might be risky,
but I'm pretty sure it's legal.
I mean, they could have you carted back home
and me banged up quicker than a redtop
can say, "Deviant Bum Snatches Kid."
Well, I'm not a kid, so.
You wicked pig, you wicked, wicked pig.
Odd choice for a birthday.
Cheery, isn't it?
7th of September, Charlotte Theodora Malone.
Oh sod off, it was my great-grandmother's.
It's from the Greek, means gift of the gods.
Could be worse.
Born 7th of September.
And the adoption papers are dated the 15th.
So, unless Susan was straight out
on the pull with me in a papoose,
Captain Sensible was already on the scene, which means
-Hmm. -William wasn't even--
What's hmm?
[Oz] That is weird. Why would he--
-He's a photographer! -Or he's a nutter!
Excuse me? You couldn't look something up for me, could you?
Um, sure.
The name's William Malone.
William Malone.
Did you mean William Malone, Archbishop of York--
No, no, no, no.
-William Malone, NFL line-backer-- -Not Susan's type.
There, there William Malone, photographer,
born 1954.
Oz, that's him!
-Could you... -What's this about then?
Just settling a bet.
Oh my God, those are my eyebrows.
Are they?
Let's see, born in 1954 Malone was a key mover
in London's fashion and music scene in the late 1980s
and early 1990s shooting icons
from Madonna to Princess Diana.
-Oh my days. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, here we go.
Left London in the late 1990s,
at the height of his fame,
and withdrew to the Isle of Skye
where his work has focused on landscapes,
empty of the human figures that dominated his early career.
-Is she okay? -Oh, aye, she's just upset she owes me a favor.
You're welcome!
All these years, they've been lying,
and he's just been sat there on fuckipedia,
waiting for the penny to drop.
How could they?
I mean how fucking could they?
Here, quiet it down.
No, she lied to me.
-She lied! -I said quiet!
Plod, get in the car, no sudden movements.
Stay very still, if you stay still, they can't see you.
I thought that was Velociraptors?
Remind me who's the expert on being invisible.
[knocking on window]
Arse, bang to rights.
Arse.
Morning Miss, this your vehicle?
Documents please, if you don't mind.
And which of you is Jack Finch?
He's my stepfather.
Oh right. And this is?
My responsible adult.
Is that right, Sir, is that correct?
Afraid so, I'm her uncle.
She's got her test in a week, and Jack asked me if I'd take her out,
get some practice in. I know the roads better than him, see.
[officer sniffs]
Right, the smell.
I keep pigs.
You keep pigs, do you?
[laughs] It's the bloody ammonia!
I knew it.
My brother works on a swine farm,
he hums like a salmon in a sauna!
You have a good one, Mr. Oliver.
[cheerful music]
Eyes on the road.
I'm sorry, but that was amazing.
Mr. Oliver.
The ammonia, the swine, pungent Uncle Oz.
Why don't you open that present?
-For me, is it? -It's from Jack.
It's probably a copy of the uh, highway code.
That wouldn't go amiss.
Look, Jack doesn't know you at all, does he?
Doesn't matter. He's not even my real... I'm not even his...
Oz, am I a bastard?
Well, you can be a bit of a pain in the arse.
[cheerful music]
-[dog barking] -[phone buzzing]
Oh, this thing must be as old as you are.
It's vintage, who is it?
-Mama Bear? -Oh, don't answer it.
-Well how do I stop it? -Eh--
Don't, if you hang up, she'll get suspicious.
So, you do want me to answer it.
No, just don't press anything.
[Susan on phone] Hello?
Hello?
-Susan? -Hello darling, how's work?
-Delightful, how's not work? -Oh, it's been so nice, it's so relaxing.
-Dad's like a different person. -Yeah, he is.
And you were wrong about the vows, though.
Not so much of a sniff of a clergyman.
Oh well, a girl can dream.
-So, did you find your surprise? -Yeah, pretty surprising, thanks for that.
[Jack in background] Tell her I'll take her out for some lessons when we get back.
[Susan] Dad's here, um...
He was thinking that once we're back, maybe the...
-two of you could, you know, have a few more lessons. -Yeah, maybe, lessons, yeah.
Charlotte, back to work!
I've got to go, Susan.
Oh, okay, love you.
Right.
Unbelievable!
I'm sure she was going to tell you, in her own time.
She's had 18 years!
Of course she's not going to tell me.
They want me to be safe and stable and deathly dull.
But they can see that everything inside me wants to be like him.
You don't know him.
Well isn't it time I did? I'm a grownup now.
There's two parts to growing up.
First, is realizing your parents aren't always right.
Second, is realizing that they're not always wrong.
Really? That's brought grown men to tears that has.
-Christ, I need a wiz. -A what?
A wiz, Oz.
A tinkle, a wee.
I need to splash my boots, spend a penny,
lead a horse to water, look after number one. Make my bladder gladder,
answer the call of nature, pop a squat.
[upbeat music]
I'm sure there's one just around the corner.
We haven't moved in like half an hour!
-I've got to go, or there'll be floods. -No.
I'll just make like the Pope in those woods over there,
and if by some miracle this lot start moving,
-you can just shimmy over. -No.
Oz, I'm dying here, I'm going to have a water baby.
I bloody well said no!
Jesus, you've got a license!
You can just go a few feet and pull over.
-We agreed no driving! -Some just came out!
Hey, hey!
You can't make me do this!
[sirens wailing] [helicopter in background]
Oh come on, we're not--
Christ, we're moving!
[car horn honking]
Piss off!
I'm trying!
[car horn honking]
[man] Oh for fuck's sake, get moving!
-[car horn honking] -[gasps]
[pants]
[car engine starting]
[Oz groaning]
[screaming]
-What the hell was that about? -I said no driving,
-But do you listen? Do you, bollocks! -You've got a license.
The last time I drove a car, I-- I wrote it off.
Were you hurt?
I'm still here.
Well, you had an accident, accidents are accidental.
I'm sorry, okay, I didn't realize this was going to be a thing.
Well it is a thing.
Okay fine, no more driving.
I meant give me the keys.
[cheerful music]
[Charlie] You know what they say, you never know when the next one's going to...
[cheerful music]
-[engine rumbling] -What's it doing?
Bloody hell, no.
You better be praying!
-Just pull over. -Where?
Shit, Oz, we're losing power.
-Down there, layby. -We won't make it!
[car engine rumbling]
[both] I'm sorry I...
-Shall we just skip this bit? -Deal.
-Good job you bought them good quality sleeping bags. -Huh?
Well, I don't see any hotels around here.
What, here?
Is that legal?
Well, is it safe?
You just got to keep your eye out for nutters.
[all screaming]
Yeah, you want some, do you, eh, eh? We're dangerous people, see.
I've seen active service, and she's trained in the...
Arts.
Sorry, sorry, I thought you were about to start.
Start what?
Numpty, buffoon!
-Even this you manage to screw up. -Screw up what?
-Oh, oh God. -Crikey.
I've never been out here before.
I'm not a pervert, I'm a wee bit shy, and...
I didn't know what to expect. I certainly didn't expect this.
Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you.
I think maybe I--
[Charlie] Well, he was quite sweet.
Oh, lovely, as sex offenders go.
-He didn't know what he was getting himself into. -Yeah, I know the feeling.
So, still want to sleep in the car?
[Leo] Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot!
[all screaming]
I said sorry.
The thing is, see, our car's broke.
You don't want to be stuck round here at this time of night.
You run into all sorts of...
Could you maybe give us a lift?
Me?
What, you'd ask me?
After I, after the whole...
Unfortunate misunderstanding.
Yeah, we all make bad decisions, believe me, we know.
Anything I can do to make up for the whole,
the whole unfortunate...
I've got a tow rope somewhere in the back,
I could give you a lift down to the uh, down to the uh...
It's in here somewhere.
Ah!
Good to go?
[car engine starting]
[heavy metal music]
[knocking on door]
A friend of the family.
-She'll sort you out with a... -Cheers Leo, you're a legend.
Leonard, how's your mom?
Oh, fine thanks, Mrs. Raymond.
Do you have any vacancies? You see my friends here--
Friends... of yours?
Yeah.
Oh, but I'm chocka all week I'm afraid.
Can't they stay with you?
Well, I don't really know them that well, you see, and--
But they're friends of yours.
Aye, new friends.
Then why do you have to find beds for them?
Well, they're a bit stuck, you see.
They broke down in that layby and--
What were you doing in that layby at this time of night?
I was, I was out in the van, and I was looking for some--
My dog. I lost my dog and Leo was helping us look.
But it's fine, we'll just crash at his.
Night then.
You want to be careful in that layby, Leonard,
they say it's a hotspot for dogging.
Night then, Mrs. Raymond.
Night, Leonard.
You're welcome at mine, but I thought after the whole,
-the whole unfortunate-- -I hardly think a real pervert
would try and find us a B&B.
-[door clangs] -[bell dings]
[Leo] Well, here we are, this is my, well, you know.
You live in here?
[Leo] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, not here.
Tammy lets me have the room above the you know, come on.
[dog barking]
Wow, okay.
Stock, you see.
Tammy keeps it here until she...
You got a bathroom amongst this lot?
Yep, just out there, on the left-hand side.
And help yourself to...
[gentle music]
[shower running]
My god, he's cleansing, this is huge.
-Quick, let's stick these in the wash. -I don't have a--
Tammy washes my...
Oh she does, does she?
But he can't put these back on.
We could always...
So, uh, he's not your dad then, I mean...
Ugh, don't even get me started
on who's my dad and who isn't.
Oh, this is good.
Smart, but raffish, very Oz.
Whoa, I thought someone had had this.
I'm trying to make him look less Dickensian.
It's kind of nice having people over.
Kind of feels like a slumber party.
Come on.
[Leo] I'd better turn in.
Tammy looks after her mom in the mornings, so I'm on the early
-shift in the-- -Sure, night Leo.
Thanks for everything.
-That's my stuff! -Oh my God, you look amazing!
-Simon Oliver. -You can't just barge into other people's lives
and start rearranging stuff.
Why not? What's the worst that could happen?
Where is she?
Now, you listen very carefully.
You keep your hands off my stuff
and your nose out of my business,
or you can find yourself another responsible adult.
Oz?
You take the sofa.
I'll be fine with the floor.
[all screaming]
-[Leo] You remember the way to the-- -I think we'll manage.
Thanks for everything, though, Leo.
Ah, you're welcome. Anytime you're passing don't forget to--
-Obliged. -And maybe steer clear of the layby from now on, eh?
Oh, and give Tammy a kiss from us.
-[glass breaking] -[Tim] Unbe-fucking-lievable!
I have kept this place going
since before you were a twinkle in my eye!
[Alex] Dad, you could lose the business.
I tell you the only thing I'm going to lose now
-is my bastard fucking temper. -[Alex clears throat]
Don't tell me, the wee yellow casualty?
Yeah, he's uh, do you know what the problem is?
Oh aye, I'm looking at it.
Fill him up with diesel, did we?
-Yeah. -Mm-hm.
And does he drink diesel
or does he drink petrol?
-There's a difference? -[exhales]
Look, missy, if that wee car were a child, they'd bang you up
and put your Day-Glo shag wagon into social care.
So, how much to make it better?
You've got to drain the tank, run it through, labor, fuel,
call it 50 quid, couple of years' therapy, all in, 130.
Sorry Ma, total emergency.
Oops-a-daisy, must've put the wrong type of money on it.
Declined.
I really didn't think this through, did I?
Grab car, go find dad.
Discover higher truth about myself. Wind up with no car, no money, nowhere to go.
Things are finally back to normal.
Look, I know-- I know you wanted to meet your dad.
Let me see if I can't turn us up some funds.
You forget, I'm an expert.
-A hundred and thirty quid is a lot of change. -Like I said, an expert.
Oz, you're not going to do anything foolish, are you?
What, like putting diesel in a petrol car?
Straw Man over and out.
[Tim] It's all under control!
I've got a bastard system, it's worked for years!
What if the bank comes calling?
Banks! Er--
-Yes, love? -My associate's gone to get cash.
-Can we start treatment? -Of course.
Let's go make some money, eh?
What's going on here, then?
Invoices, these go back years,
Dad's not the first clue what's in here.
[Tim] What the fuck are you doing?
What?
Those are private!
They're none of her concern, like they are none of yours!
Dad, this place goes to the wall, it's not just you out on the street.
This place is going nowhere.
You can't just pretend this is not happening.
I can do what I bastarding well please!
And I will not have my son
telling me I can't run my own business.
That's not what I'm saying.
I want to help you, I love you, you daft bastard.
-[Tim groaning] -Dad, Dad?
-Dad, Dad! -[Tim groaning]
-Shit! -Oh my God, what do we do?
Shit, fuck, ambulance, ambulance.
[Tim groaning]
Black Sheep to Straw Man. Straw Man, mayday, mayday!
Oz, it's the mechanic, I think he's having a heart attack!
Oz, can you hear me?
-[Oz on radio] Don't fuck around. -I'm not fucking around.
He's on the floor, and he's got no voice.
[Oz on radio] Alright, erm, lie him on his back.
Head raised, ambulance on the phone.
Okay, and what you-- what you've got to do
is you've got to find him some Aspirin.
Aspirin? It's not a headache.
Don't fuck around!
You've got to find him some Aspirin. Not paracetamol,
not the other one, it's got to be Aspirin.
-Have you got it? -I've got it. Aspirin, Aspirin...
Fuck yes, Daisy.
[Tim groans]
[Oz on radio] All right, you need to check for allergies,
and then give him two, two pills, okay?
But make him chew them, chew them, not swallow.
-Ten minutes, Dad. -[Tim groans]
Oz, the ambulance is on its way, and he's chewing. Where are you?
Here.
-You alright, pal? -[Tim groans]
Eh, no, no, you're fine, you're doing fine.
Okay, can you feel your extremities?
[Tim groaning]
Okay, alright, all right.
[Tim groaning]
No, no, shh, you're doing fine.
You're doing really great.
[Tim groaning]
That Aspirin probably saved his life.
His vitals are stable, but we'll need to keep him in for observation.
What about his voice?
It'll come back in a few days.
Shit.
[car engine starting]
Thanks, you okay?
Aye, is he?
Oz?
-Ah, keep your money. -But what about--
Don't worry about the business, I'll sort it out.
You saved my dad's life, we owe you.
Thanks, Alex.
Right, on your way.
I've got some paperwork to get on with.
[gentle music]
[Charlie] So, someone knows a lot about medicine.
Oh my God, Oz, were you a doctor?
[Oz] No, I was not!
-[Charlie] So where did the money come from then? -[Oz] Nowhere!
[Charlie] What was it? Horses, scratchcards, roulette?
Oh, just take the bloody hint, will you?
[gentle music]
[wind blowing]
What the hell's this?
It's a boat, Oz. It's like a car, but it goes on water.
Really, really?
Another travel phobia.
What is it this time?
Molested by a pedalo?
Lose your fortune on the boat race?
You were so much more fun when we set off.
You just weren't looking that closely.
You needed a legal technicality, and there I was.
There you were, kipping in a bin because your missus--
Don't, please!
You don't know the first thing about my life.
Then tell me, Oz.
Whatever you did, it can't have been that bad.
Oh, oh no, really?
Can't have been that bad!
Well, thank you, what a fool I've been!
All these years, blaming myself!
Oz?
No, really, I'm fine, thank you.
Blaming yourself for what?
Oz, what happened?
It was a heart attack.
Oh shit.
Where are you going?
Home!
What, where is home?
-I don't know! -But you'll drown!
Sounds fucking delightful!
-What was her name? -No.
-Tell me her name! -Joe.
Jo, like Joanna?
Josephine?
Like Joseph?
Oz, I didn't--
Are you for serious?
I am.
I am for serious.
His name was Joseph.
Oz, I'm so sorry.
Where's the ring?
We always said,
soon as they made it legal...
They only gave me 200 quid for it.
It were worth that again, but well,
we were in a bit of a pickle, weren't we?
[seagulls cawing]
[Oz] Seemed like nothing.
He'd get tired easy, out of breath.
We were joking about it, we didn't think anything...
Then I hear him fall down the stairs.
First I thought he was fucking around.
When I shook him, he didn't get up.
So I panic, and think I'll call an ambulance, but then I thought sod them.
It'll take them quarter of an hour to get here, so I think I can...
So I'm in the car, speeding and...
And he's whispering, but his, his voice is so faint,
so I lean in to hear him, closer.
I only took my eyes off the road for a few seconds.
By the time they got to us, he'd gone.
Oh, Oz.
They did all they could.
He died there at the side of the road.
If only then I knew about the fucking Aspirin.
If I'd called for an ambulance
might have made no difference, but...
I can't go on.
Oh, don't say that.
I meant in the car.
I know what you meant, but..
I can't go on without you in the car.
And we're so close to William.
Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry, I am.
I shouldn't have come.
But you needed a responsible adult, and...
I just want to get off this fucking island. I want to go home.
It's okay, Oz, we'll get you home.
But it does mean you're going to have to get back in the car.
There's a bridge that'll take us back to the mainland,
unless you want to get back on the ferry?
There's a bloody bridge?
[gentle music]
-[Charlie] Oz? -[Oz] I'd like it if you'd stop talking now, please.
[gentle music]
[Oz grunts]
Hey, you're awake.
We're still on the island, aren't we?
I'm sorry, okay?
But you were out of it,
and it was such a teeny tiny detour.
I asked the Queen.
Oz?
I'm glad you learned something from all this.
-[door closing] -[people chattering]
Are you here for the wake?
What wake?
[gentle music]
[birds chirping]
[doorbell rings]
Hello?
Hello, anyone?
What are you doing in my house?
William Malone!
Sorry, do I know you?
Who died?
Old Jesse, ploughed his sheep truck into a four by four.
-Dearie me. -He was always a menace in that truck.
He couldn't keep his eyes on the road.
Well, you've got to, haven't you?
Two of his flock also perished.
I am sorry to hear that.
But the boys from the abattoir
made them into pies for the wake.
Poetic.
Come on then, who are you?
I'm, well, I'm...
Your work... I'm a big fan of you work, I'm at art school.
Art school?
Right, we studied your landscapes this term,
so I thought that...
You thought you'd appear in my kitchen
and frighten the bejesus out of me.
Yeah, right, sorry, I knocked, but, um, the door was open,
no one answered, the lights weren't on.
I was in the darkroom.
-You still use a darkroom? -Of course!
Photography, from the Greek phos graphe.
Means drawing with light, not titting about with pixels.
You can't get an image like that out of a machine.
That is exactly why I love your work!
Well, thank you.
Listen, it's always a delight to meet an admirer.
Even if they do show up in your kitchen unannounced.
So, given the day has rather run away from me,
I should really see about some dinner, if you're...
Yeah, cool, I'd love some.
I'll be sous-chef.
What are we making?
[people chattering]
[man] There we go, there we go, there we go.
Do you have a bed?
I mean for the night, just a bed for rent.
I know what you meant. Uh, I have, I've got one left.
It's a single, but it's right above the bar.
-I'll take it. -The wake's liable to get a bit rowdy.
Believe me, I've slept through worse.
Forty quid and I'll throw in breakfast.
Cash only.
Cash is fine.
[people cheering]
[sizzling]
[glasses clinking]
So, my landscapes.
Most people prefer Lady Di in her smalls
to sheep shitting off a cliff.
I'm not most people,
I don't know much of your early stuff.
Oh really?
Ah, well, good.
Hack work, mostly, juvenilia.
But I happened to be on Skye,
and as soon as I got to the village,
I recognized it from your pictures
and I was wandering around, and I saw your name on the postbox,
and I thought be rude not to.
Well, as trespassers go, you're alright.
Thanks, I guess.
How'd you get up here?
Drove, took ages.
Um, that's why I moved up here.
No bugger comes here to bother you.
Present company excepted.
Why did you, then?
Move up here, leave it all behind?
Eh, enough about me.
Tell me more about art school, what's your thing?
What's your, uh, practice,
as they insist on calling it these days.
Um, faces, I paint faces, mainly,
kind of stick stuff to them.
I think you mean your visual language
is concerned with investigating the tension
between reproductions of the human form
and the materiality of lived existence,
coded through the use of found objects and mixed media.
Something like that, yeah [laughs].
[laughing] You watch out.
They'll have you speaking in tongues
by the time you graduate.
So, come on then, why faces?
I don't know, really.
Nobody does, your subject chooses you, I always say.
-Right on. -I mean, they're very primal, aren't they?
Faces, features, you know.
I mean they're literally the first thing you see.
Yeah, yeah they are.
When you come into the world,
great big faces looming down at you.
Two, if you're lucky.
[man] One more go, who's got change?
That's my line.
[man in the bar] Gentlemen, gentlemen!
Jesse can't be with us today,
as he's shearing the big sheep in the sky.
But in honor of our fallen comrade,
we're going to win his money back.
-Nice gesture, poetic. -[crowd cheering]
[man] The banana, nudge the banana.
Don't nudge the banana, the banana never...
[man] Bollocks, anybody got any more change?
Oh bloody hell!
The thing is I still see my stuff as portraiture.
-For serious? -Yeah.
It doesn't matter whether it's a model or a mountain,
you still have to get to know your subject,
read their moods, gain their trust, and then wait.
Wait?
Till they let their guard down.
Most of us walk around all day with our defenses up.
Fretting, resisting.
-Thinking things through. -Yeah, exactly.
And our job, as artists,
is to find a way through those defenses.
Wait them out, let them forget you're there.
Until you see a side of them they've never shown anyone.
And then, when the moment's just right,
you raise the camera, real quiet like,
and wait just that little bit longer, and then...
[bangs on table]
-Caught forever. -Nice.
Then, of course, you've got to work out how to make a living.
And that is an art form all of its own.
Ugh, don't. Nothing would make my parents happier
than to see me safe behind a desk,
with a nice pension and a drawer full of broken dreams.
Course, mine were the same.
-Yeah? -Sure.
They're scared of you getting hurt.
They want you safe and secure and out of harm's way.
Trouble is, nothing surprising happens
when you're out of harm's way.
And without surprise, there can be no creation.
There's so much world out there.
So much to experience, so much to love,
so much to lose, so many ways to get hurt.
And if you want to make anything,
you have to grab it all with both hands
and just fucking go with it.
That's what makes you an artist.
Come on, let me show you something.
Which one are you? Which one are you?
Hit the light, would you?
Aha, yeah!
Up at four, hour's walk in the dark to get to the place.
She's sat there against the hills, like she owns the place.
So, I sit down to wait for the sun to come up.
Sun comes up, she's munching away at the grass,
I can't get the shot.
So I wait some more.
It's fucking Baltic, I can't feel my hands.
And I'm thinking the haze is going to clear
if we don't get our act together.
And then it happens, ready for my close up.
She lifts her head and looks straight down the barrel at me.
And then, she sticks out her tongue.
[imitates camera shutter clicking]
It took forever, but when it came, it was so--
-Surprising. -Exactly.
Sometimes you have to wait the longest time
for something to surprise you.
Wow, that was cringe.
-Cringe? -[Charlie laughs]
Oh wow.
Speaking of surprises, I never told you my name, I'm--
-What are you doing? -Seizing the moment, letting down my defenses.
-Hey, what, wrong moment? -[glass shattering]
What the hell is wrong with you?
Me? This is my house.
You barge in here all gooey fucking eyed.
Oh, I love your work, Bill, wine?
Yes, please, and now I'm the bad guy?
I thought we had a fucking connection.
We do, I'm your fucking daughter!
No, fuck off, this is a stitch-up.
You're from the papers.
No, but, but you can't be.
Charlie, Charlotte Theodora Malone.
Bastard.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I thought Susie never wanted you anywhere--
Well, Susan tried her best not to.
-Oh, I am so sorry. -No, don't touch me!
Charlotte, Charlotte!
[people chattering]
-Whiskey on the rocks, make it a double. -ID love?
[people in the bar talking] -Come on then, Oz. -Stick another quid in!
-What's the idea then, pal? -Here we go.
[gentle music]
[Charlie sobbing]
Cheer up, love, it might never happen.
But it happened.
[Oz] And?
He's not my bastard, he's a father.
Ah.
He's a bastard.
[Oz] You must have got it from somewhere.
[Charlie] You're funny.
[Charlie sobs]
So what now?
I guess I'll go find my real dad.
The one that's put up with me for the last 18 years.
[people cheering]
Oz, we did it, we beat the fucker!
[gentle music]
[seagulls cawing]
[Charlie] Lovely view.
[Oz] I was thinking just the same.
Do you think you'll see him again?
[Charlie] Maybe.
One day.
So, I guess we can go home now.
I don't know about you, but I think maybe I am home.
[Charlie] Huh?
It's not a bad part of the world, is it?
But you'd have no job, nowhere to live, no one...
Oh, yeah, I guess.
When did you become so sensible?
I'll miss you, Simon.
Simon like Garfunkel's other half.
I'll miss you too, Charlotte Theodora.
Piss off.
[gentle music]
Ain't you got a home to go to?
[gentle music]
I told him the bypass was quicker than going through town.
-Didn't I tell him? -Yes, you did.
Charlie?
[gentle music]
We were going, uhm...
Charlotte, where's the car?
It's fine, Dad, I've left it with a responsible adult.
[upbeat music]
¶ Sometimes you feel The wind begin to turn ¶
¶ It's not as if you know The way that it will take you ¶
¶ Feel it on your face ¶
¶ See it in the trees ¶
¶ There's something In the air for you ¶
¶ Maybe you'll fly Maybe you'll fall ¶
¶ You really have No choice at all ¶
¶ The storm is up You have to ride the wind ¶
¶ After the stories And the lies ¶
¶ The half-remembered Lullabies ¶
¶ The storm is up ¶
¶ You have to ride the wind ¶
¶ The landscape that You knew becomes a blur ¶
¶ It's hard to tell yourself The only way is onward ¶
¶ Shoulder to the wind ¶
¶ Forward through the rain ¶
¶ The only one Who knows the way is you ¶
¶ Maybe you'll fly Maybe you'll fall ¶
¶ You really have No choice at all ¶
¶ The storm is up You have to ride the wind ¶
¶ After the stories And the lies ¶
¶ The half-remembered Lullabies ¶
¶ The storm is up ¶
¶ You have to ride the wind ¶
¶ The storm is up ¶
¶ You have to ride the wind ¶