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Next.
Hey I'm uh Evan Kleinman reading for the role of Jose Perez.
Oh...
Cristina I, uh...
I really like you and I've been waiting to do this for
some time...
Well, the kiss?
Go.
Just kiss her, come on.
Um...
Go
Kiss her, come on.
Okay uh, thank you.
Can I just go out and come back in?
No. That's not gonna work. Nah I'm sorry,
We're not gonna call you, it's not gonna happen. I'm sorry.
Yeah, that wasn't good.
You made out with someone who had herpes?
Hahahaha! You loser!
Has this happened to you?
Actually sir can you just drop me off right here
on this corner. Yeah, thank you.
Yeah you know what sir I'm actually gonna get out too.
What kind of car do you drive?
This is not suitable for Gluber pool.
It says here your drop off is in the valley.
I'm just gonna walk up Laurel Canyon drive.
Just please give me five stars. Please?
Hey dad.
What's up, son?
Uh, I just got out of an audition.
Actually, yeah, I think I'm gonna get a callback.
What's the pay?
Copy, credit, meal...
Listen! It's not good enough.
We've been through this a million times! I'm an actor!
Why don't you come back home and work with your old man?
Mom and I cannot see you struggling like that.
I love you. I gotta go. Okay? Oh, one last thing!
Can you wire me some money?
I have a couple bills I need to take care of.
Listen and listen good! This is the last time.
Of course, of course Dad.
Thank you so much. I love you.
Hey guys! Evan here. I just got out of an audition and
it went amazing! I'll keep you guys posted if I got it.
Evan out!
Oh, about time!
Hello Evan.
VR mode starting.
My God...
Oh Evan...
I'm so horny.
Before we start making out, do you wanna dance?
I'd love to.
Let me make you happy.
Yes.
The country of Allur was founded in 1894
by two hot people.
No one is certain of its exact geographical location
but many speculate it is in the Middle East.
The kingdom of Allur was in such financial crisis that
the royal guards had to wear Halloween costumes.
The kingdom of Allur. A naturally beautiful country.
From its scenic views and flowing rivers
to its gorgeous natives.
Our land will transport you to a world rich with romance
and passion all provided by Zuku Zuku.
For decades Allur has been the leader in the sacred art
of love making. Not even the Kama Sutra knows of such lust.
Allur, the land of Zuku Zuku. Travel packages now available.
Cut!
This is what we do? This is shit! This is purely shit!
Calm down! Imagining a big lollypop!
Lollypop?
Lollypop!
Did you guys like it?
I loved it! it's great!
Yes it is fantastic work!
But we are going with the other plan.
You know the Zuku Zuku doesn't work well anymore anyways.
All these western hipsters care about these days is
quick bang bang sploosh!
Your royal highness, Prince Ahmed and Prince Ali!
Mommy.
Father.
Khalid, Khalid! You made sure my third son is
occupied during this meeting?
Oh yes your majesty, nothing to worry about.
Darwin Coming!
Darwin you are so brave, why don't I just untie you
and we go back to bed?
If we ever get out of this, that villain is going to pay!
Oh Mister Darwin! You are so handsome!
Oh ok, tea time!
Just come lay with me!
Our time for today is over. I have a family meeting.
I gotta go!
Where's the mirror?
There are no mirrors here. Let me tell you my story.
Once upon a time I was born, like I am now, I was
incredibly handsome...
It must never leave the palace
What is this? This is dangerous.
Is it a baby?
In fact a witch decreed that if I ever saw myself in the mirror
I would turn ugly.
We made this?
That's why there are no mirrors here.
How unlucky it is that you'll never be able to witness
your own beauty?
And what is more important than being handsome?
Nothing my prince.
The prince must go now.
It has been decided. We will complete a two billion dollar
deal with hip new energy out in California.
Prince Ali and Prince Ahmed will leave tomorrow to seal the deal
and deliver the bags of money to Los Angeles.
Why don't you wire the money?
Because they want to charge me a thirty dollar wiring fee!
What a rip off!
Sons, this is our last resort to save the country.
I trust you to take care of this. Good day.
The royal Highnesses, Prince Fahad!
What is this father? I'm hearing about Los Angeles.
I have been asking years to send me to Hollywood.
I'm sending your brothers Ali and Ahmed to California
to invest in new forms of energy.
Energy is our business after all.
I have been wasting my talents here.
Your only talent is having sex and watching
that stupid Darwin action movie!
Darwin action films!
Silence!
Please father.
Enough! You're forbidden to leave this palace.
The world is full of mirrors Fahad, and you know what
happens when you look into one.
I know what's gonna happen. I will become ugly
and I will be sent to live with the cows.
Exactly, you have no self control. You can't be trusted.
This is for your own safety.
We are simply trying to protect you, Fahad.
Protect me from what my mom? I'm wasting my time here.
Meeting adjourned!
Khalid! Khalid!
Yes, your majesty.
I have an important job for you.
Right hand man kind of important?
I need you to keep Prince Fahad safe.
Of course your majesty, that has always been my job.
You understand he's always been different.
It is true. The Prince marches to the beat of his own drum.
He's damned ugly!
Oh yes, that.
Don't let him ruin the opportunity to save the country.
I will not fail you my king.
Of course you won't. Otherwise you will be hung.
Wait, I thought we don't do that anymore!
You're right. We will cut off your testicles.
Both of them?
Both of them!
Oh my god...
Oh! What?
What is that?
Oh you found the new prototype.
Yeah, I'm testing out this new hydrocarbon silicone
polymer composite.
Wait, so it's a head that gives head?
That's the idea.
Is this a sex toy?
Mhm.
Dude you can make a full robot of her.
I would so love that. I mean, just imagine. You and me, we'll
be able to get with the most beautiful women in the world
even if we look like bridge trolls, which we don't
by the way.
And the sex will be real.
It's sex and the future!
So this is your plan? Your plan to finally lose your virginity.
Nice work buddy. I'm proud of you.
But it's complicated. I'm low on funds.
So how was last night with that chick from your acting class?
Am I good or am I good?
Ah man, the file, it skipped a little bit, but otherwise
incredible. Barry you're a genius.
Just wait once I figure out this sex-bot thing. All I need is
one pathetic rich guy who's willing to cough over some
major mulah...
Ah!
You poisoned them?
They are asleep.
You took my Xanax.
Khalid we must go, quickly.
But I have to speak to your father
and brothers before their flight.
They are not going. We are.
No we cannot!
Khalid.
The jet is ready for take off. I am going, either you are going
with me or you will be hung.
Follow your partner.
Watch them. Connect.
Feel the flow.
This is the best acting class.
You should be honored that I share my time with you.
Stephanie and Evan focus!
You haven't paid me for this class or the last one.
Yeah about that. My dad's going to pay, tomorrow?
Your father?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soon, very soon.
Daddy's gonna pay it soon!
Back when I was doing a production of 11th Night...
I wish I was a millionaire.
Can you imagine yourself as a millionaire?
You'd be cocky and unbearable.
Yeah I know I would and I'd like to try it anyway.
Switch partners. Rachel you're with Evan.
Stephanie you are with Aaron.
And everyone on their feet. Come on. Let's go. Breathing.
Very important. Breathing.
Harrumph!
Evan?
Evan? What is this?
Did I ask you to do this? What is this?
This is not part of the breathing exercise. Ready?
Ready, yeah.
Where did you pick up that bad habit?
Um..
Yo, that teacher's a dick.
Yeah he made you cry dude.
I'm over it. Yo Throw rooftop tonight? All the celebrities are
gonna be there. Rachel's gonna come with us.
Sweet.
Oh yeah, I've been there.
Is there something going on tonight?
Depends, how many followers do you have?
Um.. like 20...
20,000 isn't enough.
Bro, you need 100,000.
Oh.
I got 110. She's got 300. She's blowing up.
Yeah, Let's ditch this loser.
She's cute.
That's my mom.
At least you know your followers are real.
Ten of them are bots, actually.
I better go, bro. See ya...
Who the hell are these guys?
Woo! Lets go lets go! Fast Fast.
We don't have time. Yeah this one.
Okay! Okay! I'm going. Okay!
Let's go! We are here! Woohoo! Go fast!
What brings you to LA?
We are here to begin my acting career.
No way, that's interesting. Actually...
I do a little acting myself.
That's interesting. Do you know Darwin? The action star.
Um, no, no. Can't say that I do.
Haven't had the pleasure yet.
Fahad!
Khalid! We are in America!
Do not call me Fahad. Call me Darwin.
So mister actor driver.
It's Evan.
Yes Evan, you are an actor and an Uber driver?
Yeah, yeah that's right.
Have you been in anything we might have seen?
No. No.
I'm still trying to get thing on track.
But I do take classes down at Tantrum Acting Studios though.
Thats amazing. Khalid write this down.
Write it down. We're gonna go to this class.
Fahad.
Darwin. Darwin. Darwin.
Darwin, we must prioritize, first securing the
investment before we enroll you in any classes.
What's this investment you guys are talking about?
Tech. So what is hot out here in LA?
The women. That's the hottest thing.
Oh and vegan cheese.
What? That's disgusting.
Ew.
Wow, wow this is just the beginning!
Thank you so much Mr. Actor Evan Driver. Here you go.
Thank you. Oh I'm so sorry if I offended you.
Please take this as well!
Thank you.
Fahad!
Woohoo!
Wow!
Darwin!! Woohoo!!!
Yeah. Yeah. Freeze!
It is I Darwin!
Okay, alright. Alright. Yes.
Oh it feels so good.
Where did it go? It's gone, they'll chop my head off!
Fahad!
Fahad! Where are you? Fahad! There was another bag like this,
did you see it?
What?
There was another bag like this, did you see it?
I only remember bringing one.
Fahad, where is that bag?
Fahad that bag had a lot of money in it.
The money your brothers were going to use to secure that deal
they had in place. The deal that would have saved our
country and bought us time out here!
What's going on there? Why am I looking at the sky?
Your majesty, it's so good to see you again.
You promised me quick returns on my energy investment deal.
Why is hip new energy calling me about the money?
Uh, your majesty it's very early morning out here and people in
LA go hiking.
All you had to do was hand them the money and sign the papers!
You hung up on the king?
You hung up on the King?
You hung up on- You Hung up on the King!
Relax Khalid. Everything will be fine. We're going to do the
investment and I will be a movie star. Someone will find the
money and bring it back. I am sure about that.
A suitcase, let's see if there's some dirty panties.
The actor driver!
This is it?
Yes this is the acting school.
Your headshot needs to say everything about you in one
quick glance. It needs to say you're young but old at the same
time. You're elegant, yet you're mean.
You're mean, yet educated.
Sneaky, but educated.
But mentally ill! Very important!
Wait outside, wait outside!
Excuse me.
My client wants to take your class but he
does not like mirrors.
Listen pal this is the world's greatest acting class
taught by the world's greatest acting teacher.
You think you can just waltz...
Carry on!
You wait right here.
Headshots. Evan, your headshot?
Mr. Evan actor driver sir did we happen to leave a bag of money
in your car?
Uh I don't think so, no. I'm sorry.
Who is your agent?
Oh, you mean FBI agent? I don't think so.
How'd you find him?
Oh, my father hired him.
Who's your friend?
Oh I'll introduce you, come on.
Hey! I'm Steph.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Wow. Wow. Woo.
Hi, my name is Darwin. You can call me
D-R-O-O-N-S-N-Y-O
Okay, Hi Darwin.
Okay party people back to the headshots!
Come Fahad we must go!
Darwin! Call me Darwin!
Darwin we must go find the money!
I'm not going anywhere, you can go.
You did pay for it. I'm gonna take this class. Just go.
Did you bring a headshot?
What does that mean?
A headshot. A picture of yourself
Oh, no.
So remember keep working on your scenes privately
with your partners an as a special bonus I have a casting
director from a major major
major studio coming to see your final presentations.
And one last thing. My new all organic vegan
gluten free diet has become very expensive, so effective
immediately the prices for these classes has gone up 60%.
Beat it! Get out of here.
And Evan this might be a good time to call daddy.
And Fahad great work! I'm very impressed!
Is Khalid coming back?
I don't think so.
Okay.
I've learned so much already today and scene!
Woohoo! I love it!
Well Tommy is the greatest actor of all time
as he constantly reminds us.
We're doomed!
Oh, wow, this guys looks like he needs a drink.
Yeah
I agree with you.
You guys wanna go to my place?
Yeah let's go.
Cool. Follow me.
Barry! We have company!
Come on in.
Oh. Hello hello!
Ugh, Barry.
How are you?
You look awfully familiar. Have we met?
Oh no no no.
It's not who you think it is. No it's not her.
You're the chick from the VR machine!
No, no, that's not her! Barry just let that one go.
Just be quiet. Rachel, Steph.
Do you guys mind giving me a few minutes you guys can
wait in my room. Thank you!
Evan, I'm like 99.9 percent sure.
It's not her. Let it go.
Jeez Evan.
Oh my God. You think he likes himself?
He's so pretty.
What is this?
It's like VR. It's like a video game.
Dude you got her to move.
Yeah, she even talks.
Are you the head that gives head?
I certainly am. Would you like a blowjob now?
Yeah, so I solved all the complexities and just built her.
What do you think?
Spectacular.
Would you like a blowjob now?
Yes, I want one. It's been two days without any romance. Wow!
I think she's my soulmate. I'm in love!
Come on man. Don't be stupid.
You can't fall in love with a robot.
Oh, Evan I'm so glad you're here.
Oh my God!
I'm so horny.
What?
Oh my. Oh my. Oh my god.
How much will you need for full body prototypes?
Oh, I'll take over from here. No, I got this. I got this.
Um as the spokesperson for, uh, Evan Advanced
Robotics Corporation. We'll need a minimum investment of ten
million dollars for a single prototype and a retainer fee for
further production.
I have an idea. I'm going to call the king.
Deal!
Beautiful. Thank you!
What is this?
No, Rachel, take that off!
Hey turn it off, turn it off! Is it off?
It's for acting class I'm a method actor.
What?
It's not real. Just go back to my room. Back to my room.
I knew it was her!
Can you believe they made me park my boat on the
other side of the port? I had to walk 30 meters to my golf cart.
Tell me about it, my son just spent a fortune on
sex robots. Can you believe that? Sex robots.
Sex robots?
I am truly embarrassed.
I have been very interested in artificial intelligence for some
time now. The implications.
They are sending me a prototype.
Can you tell your son to send two. Twenty!
Khalid had found a way to save
his ass from losing that briefcase.
Well, well wow. Wow!
Barry! Barry!
What are you working on buddy?
Just this new prototype. Hi everyone.
This place is...
Where stars are born!
Everything's okay!
This is very unprofessional in my opinion.
Don't use the jacket. We paid good money for that!
Khalid, should we run?
You run. I stay.
I'm running.
Welcome to Evanbots! This is the assembly room where every part
is hand assembled.
First here at our nail painting station is my buddy Barry.
After assembly every part then moves on to
rigorous testing for movement. This here is my buddy Dale,
our handshake specialist manning the hand job.
Thank you sir. Up next
we go to our breast augmentation station. We have over 1500
different types of boobs for your choosing. How are you sir?
You're doing great pal.
Now I'd like for you to follow me to quality control.
Come this way.
This is a private testing area.
I've got 10 more of these to test today!
You get the idea. Quality control.
At Evanbots, we love you and our robots do too.
Here at Evanbots even you can get laid.
At Evanbots satisfaction guaranteed.
The customer comes first.
Women aren't robots. They're not sex toys.
They're thinking, feeling people.
Don't you see the damage this does to people?
They are just dolls.
With perfect bodies, willing to do anything
they're programmed by a man to do.
I see what you're saying.
Do you?
Barry how smart is the artificial intelligence
of these robot women.
Pretty smart, I programmed them so they learn at
a high level. The idea is they evolve and the sexual experience
are new and more satisfying every time.
Wow, that's amazing! High five.
Alright see you. Wow.
Sex sound.
Fahad waited like a creep until everyone left
the factory that night.
Well, well, well. Woo! Wow. I love that.
WOO! Hoo, Hoo. Bark, Bark!
Time to put the final ingredient together.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Haha there are no gentlemen. Ladies,
You are going to my home the kingdom of Allur.
You might be aware of our tradition of zuku zuku. Zuku
zuku is more than love. Zuku zuku is more than romance.
Zuku zuku is more than sex.
1,000 orgasms working as one.
Zuku Zuku!
Wow, Zuku Zuku.
Zuku Zuku!
Lets do it!
Wow, Wow. Woo Hoo, hoo!
Good evening. I'm Talia Kaplan.
Joining us tonight is Evan Kleinman, the
CEO of Evan Advanced Robotics corporation, which is now
bringing the tiny kingdom of Allur back from bankruptcy.
Thank you very much for joining us. So why sex robots and why
only the kingdom of Allur?
Okay, First, things first.
Is my Instagram handle down there?
Yeah, it is?
I'm sorry, what was your question? Right. Sex robots.
Of course. Um, yeah sex robots. It
was an idea that I've had brewing in the back of my head
for, gosh, quite some time and it's a concept I've come back
to over and over again. You know something I really believed in.
You build all your robots right here in Los Angeles yet you ship
every single one to the kingdom of Allur. Why?
Well you know I thought it would be a
good place to start. I saw their country really struggling and
this was an opportunity to get them back on track.
You know at Evanbots we're all about giving back.
Alright, well when do you plan to expand and when will you
start selling these robots right here in the United States.
Soon, very soon.
The contracts are in place and
soon we will have worldwide distribution.
Alright, well that's all the
time we have for tonight thank you very much Evan Kleinman.
Hold on, is my Instagram handle down there? Yeah?
Can you confirm, is it there?
Alright, well everybody have a good
night. Thank you so much for joining us.
Wow, I love that.
Yo that was awesome! Did you guys see me! My followers
are going through the roof.
Barry we gotta start production on
these beautiful babies immediately.
You completely left me out. You gave me no credit at all.
Dude, I didn't wanna complicate things, okay?
We know you're the real deal. Let the people think what they
want. We're gonna need 10,000 of these by the end of the month.
Can you make that happen?
Wait, wait, 10,000?
Yes.
Allur already has enough.
You weren't serious about what you said on the TV
show right? We're not expanding to America.
If we bring the robots here then what makes
Allur so special, what brings in the tourists?
Look you didn't think we could limit this to just one
dinky little country did you?
If we don't make and sell these here somebody else will.
Believe me, and what good does that do Allur? Right?
Okay, I saved your kingdom dude. You're welcome.
Thank you.
Just trust me.
I often ask myself: is technology enough?
If it isn't human...
If it doesn't touch you...
If it doesn't feel you up...
and down, then what is technology?
But one more gizmo
on the road to a cold hard gizmo-ocracy.
Let me put it this way.
Sexual satisfaction. What is it?
Can you touch it? Can you hold it?
You sure as hell can! Ladies and gentleman introducing the
Evanbots for the American marketplace!
And just like that the robots
were sweeping horny Americans all over the country.
Yo I hear those robots perform that zuku zuku shit man.
This is what we needed in America.
Cheers to Evanbots and me finally moving out of Barry's
crappy apartment.
Hey! Why would you say that?
I'm Evan!
Oh.
What's your name?
I don't know.
You don't know your own name?
No, I don't know if I want to tell you my name.
Oh, well maybe you do. I'm Evan
of Evanbots and we're kind of a hot company right now.
Well, what do you do, or make, or whatever?
We make sex robots!
Ew.
What did you tell her?
I don't know.
Anyway, Steph you want to run lines with me tomorrow?
Sorry, I got a protest to
attend outside your factory tomorrow.
Steph, come on.
Okay, Wednesday!
Oh, hey! Got here quicker than I expected.
Guys this is my cousin Vanessa. Here have a seat.
This is Evan.
Well I have to go. I have some
coding to get through before I call it a night.
Okay good night. Oh, I gotta go to
I'll see you guys. Good night.
What's your name?
Vanessa.
What is it?
Vanessa.
Oh.
Although he was now rich, Evan was still a bitch.
We are better than this as a society.
When men and women aren't equal this
kind of grotesque objectification will not stand!
We aren't against sex. We aren't against sexuality but we insist
on two consenting adults to
equal consent. Don't go! Shit!
Wow, Steph, Steph. Steph.
Again where are all the protestors?
It's not that funny.
We are providing maximum pleasures to people who have
difficulty finding pleasure.
It's for poor man who is suffering from anxiety and
doesn't have confidence and good looks.
What?
It's for man who want to have sex with women!
And by the way no one has good looks like me.
It's a blessing from God!
Hey Fahad!
I got to go and good luck with the protestors!
Things were going great for Evanbots.
They got a Jew and an Asian guy
with a gray wig to give them additional funding for
mass production across the world.
Barry look at the ratio here. It's a bar
full of women. How is it possible, you're alone again?
Look, do you plan on being a virgin for the rest of your
life?
God.
You know you have really nice eyes.
Nice eyes? That's all?
Oh, and the bags underneath them.
Oh.
I'm sorry I'm just not used to being around somebody
so beautiful.
You know. You're a lot more
charming than you give yourself credit for.
Evan, I'm so glad you made it.
Hey!
Isn't this place awesome?
Yeah, yeah it's incredible.
I'm Rachel, who are you?
Vanessa.
You lucky girl. Evan must have
shown you his VR toy in his bedroom.
Oh no, no, no, no. That's just...
Yeah, uh anyway, good seeing you and sorry for
interrupting, but a bunch of us are going golfing tomorrow with
the real stars of Instagram and
since you're way over 500k, would you want to come?
Yes! That would be awesome.
Vanessa will join me.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yo bro. I love your robots!
Thank you!
Dude, four hours last night with one.
We aim to please. It's in our mission statement.
Do you follow me on Instagram?
Of course I follow you on Instagram.
Wait for the updates on the future bots.
It's gonna blow your mind.
Dude I love your selfies!
Thank you.
Evan Kleinman!
Show him the present.
Um, we baked you a special cupcake.
Um, thank you?
Yeah, thanks.
You're welcome bro. Let's get out of here.
See you guys.
Do you want to get out of here?
Yes.
That special cupcake had LSD,
CBD, Propecia and Viagra in it.
Hey Virgin.
What?
Virgin! Virgin! Virgin!
Virgin Virgin Virgin!
I said stop it!
Hey Mate, you got a light?
Hey mister, I don't bite.
Mate you alright?
You don't bite?
Looks like you need a little BP. Barry Penis.
Say hello to little Barry.
Come to the Barry.
This is unacceptable.
My client is clearly guilty! I mean innocent!
You need to resign immediately otherwise the
entire company will be in jeopardy.
I didn't know what was going on, I don't remember any of this.
It's all over Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat.
I mean even Twitter.
Someone's out to get me. Evan just tell the media
someone's out to get me.
Well I'm afraid that's not going to cut it.
Khalid, tell them this isn't me. Tell them!
It looks like you.
Fahad?
Not you, definitely not you.
Evan will vouch for me, won't you Evan?
You sexually assaulted a paparazzo, bro!
I created this!
Look, we got a golf game to get to.
Get rid of him. Do it quick. Nothing personal, Barry.
That's not cool!
Don't touch me!
Freeze! Darwin here.
Oh, will you marry me Maria?
My name isn't Maria, but yes.
Yes.
And last but not least, Steph and Evan.
You had your chance Jonathan.
I've moved on.
One last time Elizabeth, that's all I ask. Do the snake
dance for me and I'll leave you alone forever.
One last time.
Wow, Bravo! Bravo!
Okay, apparently Evan decided to
take the knee on tonight's performance.
But one more question before we conclude our
evening of horrible theatre. How many people here noticed
that I've lost weight?
How could he do this to me?
Steph, the scene is over.
And remember, you have an opportunity
to get back at him on national TV tomorrow.
Oh shit, the debate is tomorrow.
Yes!
Screw it.
What?
I want to get drunk.
Oh. Oh, no no.
You're kinda cute, you know that?
Yes I know that.
You do?
Of course I do.
Do you maybe want to come back to my place?
Steph, you have tremendous talent but
Fahad needs to be with the
prettiest girl in the world! I'm sorry.
You're talking about yourself in the third person now?
It's the king. Fahad, we must go at once.
Oh, the king, okay. Take revenge!
Oh, okay the king. Cheerio, governor, pinkies up! Pip pip.
Welcome to access Taliwood with my co-host Rick Rainbow.
Hi!
Today show is solely dedicated to talking about Evan Kleinman.
That Evan Kleinman is so hot right now.
Yeah and guys he is blowing up on social media.
I just want to gobble him up. Yum yum yum yum.
This is great news! Are you guys seeing this? This is incredible.
Alright, I got to go.
Wait a minute. I want to talk to you about Steph.
She's the only thing on my mind right now, okay?
But you stood her up at the showcase.
And she'll get over it.
Oh really? You can really be a dick sometimes. Asshole!
So rude.
You know what makes me the most mad? Is that at the
end of this I'm the stupid one because I thought I'd give him
him a chance to actually come back and apologize
and maybe try to talk things out, but no, I'm
the stupid one. He's late to his own stupid show that
I agreed to be on.
He's coming.
Unbelievable.
Hey!
Hey? Where were you yesterday?
Look, Steph.
You know how important that showcase was to me.
I know and I'm sorry. Okay?
Look I have a million other things that are
more important on my plate right now.
Other things like your new friends?
I was playing golf with the real stars of Instagram. Me!
Think about that for a second. How incredible is that?
Wow that's just...
You're an asshole!
And I fell asleep. I had a snooze.
That's your excuse? Fatigue?
Look the whole world doesn't revolve around
you and your stupid little theatre scene. Okay?
And in case you haven't noticed. Wait!
I don't even show up to that anymore!
We used to be friends, remember?
Yeah, when I was nobody.
Oh, you are somebody, alright!
I have followers now!
Yeah, you have herpes following you from your little girlfriend.
Good evening and thank you for watching talking with Talia.
Joining us tonight is Evan Kleinman the CEO of Evan
Advanced Robotics Corporation and we also have Sarah
Stein-Goldberg, the president of the
feminist empowerment mission advanced level experience, aka
female. Thank you both so very much for joining us.
You, a man, don't have the right to say that your robot girl toys
aren't sexist.
We're providing entertainment.
For men. And what kind of real man would prefer a
doll to a living breathing woman?
Me! That'd be awesome.
There's one guy. You know you wouldn't believe
how realistic the breathing in our products are.
Ugh, aren't you afraid these plastic computers are going to
get hacked, jeopardizing the lives of millions?
No our servers are triple secure
and besides there's a kill switch.
A kill switch?
That's right, with one click of a button we can
shut them all down.
So if your hotbots aren't sexist, why do you only
manufacture female robots, huh?
Why not make male robots for the females to enjoy?
You're right, you're right! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
We will immediately begin development on
male bots for the market.
Follow me on Instagram at Evan the CEO
for updates on male bots!
Ah, I'll definitely be trying one of those! Well that's all
the time we have for tonight folks. Thank you for watching
and have a good night.
Thank you Steph!
Why did you say that?
We never discussed making male robots and
that's the sort of thing you need to take to the-
Shut up! Alright you work for me! Look, I was challenged
and I took up that challenge. My followers demand it.
This is way too complicated.
The job description said all we'd have to do
is have sex with robots.
You know, Barry never really told us what he was up to.
He didn't exactly share.
What the hell am I paying you guys for?
Maybe it is in our best interest in bringing Barry back.
I agree. One hundred percent.
That Evan Kleinman is so hot right now!
Yeah, and guys he is blowing up on social media.
I just want to gobble him up. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Hello?
No, I'd love to come back.
This or this?
Do you think he's going to come?
I don't know. We'll see.
Thanks for coming man, I appreciate it.
No Problem.
I bet you're still mad at me, huh?
I understand. It wasn't personal.
Exactly, it wasn't. So let's get back to work man!
You got a company to build. Let's go.
Let's!
Yeah.
I have never felt
so uncomfortable making a bot before.
Especially the genitals.
Would you like a massage?
This is what we needed in America!
That's what I'm saying.
All he does all day is pay attention to me.
It's creeping me out!
Hello.
I gotta go.
What?
Do you need a hug?
I do not.
Do you want to tell me fascinating stories about the
good times you've had with your female friends. I'm all ears.
No I want you to ignore me.
Go watch football on TV, away from me.
But I'm designed to only look at you.
I give you the night off! You are free to go.
Go have fun with your friends, get drunk, come home late.
Oh, you want to have sex?
No. Oh my god. Where's the box.
I'm sending you back. I need my money back.
80 percent of the man bots are being returned! I need a real
man! That's what she says, I need a real man.
Don't they work right?
I've heard the sex is fantastic.
They work fine!
The sex is fine! It's not a technical issue.
It's their attitude.
Okay, I get it. I get it! The man bots were a bust.
You know, Steph knew this would happen.
She tricked me into this.
Hey! Don't blame this on Steph, okay?
Right, We gotta go.
Where are you going?
The big show. Couple of the year. Homosapian magazine!
Homo... Sapians.
You'll all be watching. I hope.
Okay good luck.
Oh, Barry, what are you doing?
Figuring out how to be able to remotely access
neuro-structures of mammals to be able to send customized
signals spinally and ultimately
modify the hypothalamus!
Control their minds.
Control their minds?
Hhm, hmmm.
Wow. Okay, I gotta go to meet Steph.
I'll see you.
Hello!
Hey!
Welcome, come on in.
Wow. Cool place.
Oh, thank you. Woo.
Hey, I really enjoyed your script by the way.
Oh, thank you, I owe it to myself.
By the way, Evan and Vanessa are on
TV, we should probably watch them.
Ugh, do we have to?
Yes it's background noise.
Fine, but the second he gets obnoxious we turn it off right?
Oh, we're gonna miss it.
Right, um, that way?
The TV is this way.
Cool.
Okay. I'll be back!
Dang, swanky place.
I wish my parents could get me something
like this. What's this? A big ass photo of you.
Oh.
Hey Steph, here is our scene.
Oh. Ohhhh.
Fahad, something wrong?
Is this a mirror?
Fahad, are you okay?
Is this a mirror?
Uh, yeah?
Is this my face?
You're joking right?
Is this me?
Uh, yeah?
No! It's not me!
No. Is it a mirror?
Are you okay?
It's not me. No it cannot be.
Are you like having a stroke or something?
This me?
Fahad, what is it?
No! What did you do?
That mirror was covered for a reason!
What? I didn't know!
Fahad, Fahad we have to talk.
There is nothing you can say.
I will never star in any action movies!
Fahad, we need to talk. You have always looked this way.
No! My mom told me that my father told me that. Everyone
told me do not look in mirror.
Look at me now. I cannot believe this is my face.
Fahad you have always looked this way.
The mirror did not make you ugly. It's just a mirror.
There is no curse.
No curse? This is me? Is this me?
It's always been me?
No, no, no!
No, no Fahad. No, no, no!
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you from all my heart!
Fahad?
He looked in the mirror its not my fault!
I swear it's not my fault!
You lied to me, why?
You are beautiful on the inside.
Fahad, we were trying to protect you.
Your mother, she wanted you to be happy.
By hiding me from my own image? Screw everything. Screw the
Screw the company. Screw the kingdom.
Do not ever call me again. Do not call me.
Never. Do not call me!
Come on Evan, pick up!
Evans phone here. Do you follow me on Instagram?
If you don't I will not call you back. At Evan the CEO.
Despite the companies failure with the manbots, Evan's stardom
and relationship with Vanessa rose to new levels of fame.
Good evening everyone! And thank you for watching goodnight with
Talia. We have a fantastic guest for you tonight, Evanessa!
Couple of the year,
welcome, welcome. Hi, nice to meet you.
Nice to see you again. Thank you for being here and folks
we are breaking every records rating for a Tuesday night in
July. Congratulations on being named couple of the year.
Thank you.
Please have a seat.
So tell me Evan how did you guys first meet?
Well we actually met through her cousin, Barry.
Probably the strangest, funniest looking little guy I've ever
known and he's Vanessa's cousin and we were at
Throw rooftop lounge one night and she was there to meet
him and we've hit it off ever since.
Oh, how romantic.
Well, your robots, they are so real why date a
real woman, no offense.
Well, yes our robots are perfect,
I mean perfection personified but, uh-
it's Vanessa's flaws that I'm in love with.
Ohhhh....
Well, how does it feel to be so famous, so
beautiful, so successful, toast of the town. Couple of the year.
It feels sensational Tamara. Just-
Talia.
Whatever, Tamara. It's sensational and it
feels really, really good.
Yeah and there's a lot of people I'd like to thank, uh,
starting with, um,
whatever, it doesn't matter I don't remember their names
anyways. But there is one thing I would like to add.
Vanessa, you would be the perfect addition-
to my portfolio.
Oh my goodness, it appears we have a proposal.
What do you say?
Will you marry me?
Buenisimo.
Oh, you speak Spanish.
Suburashi. Zeh Tov Maod!
Marhabban Marhabban Marhabban.
Yes proceed to the route. In and Out burger.
Should we go to the sahara tent?
Vanessa, the whole world is watching.
What are you doing?
Pie equals 3.14159265359.
Baby, baby, baby...
Vanessa. Vanessa.
Oh, my goodness! Breaking news Vanessa is a robot!
No! No!
Evan, you're a cheat. You're a fraud.
No, no, no, no, no. Get that off!
You saw it here first guys.
No! Vanessa, hey!
Can you believe it?
She was a robot and he didn't even notice it.
What an idiot!
Ooh. Ooh.
Señorita? Uh, hello? Help! Help!
Hello, anyone? Help?
All around the world the robots were shutting
off, but who did it?
Even the few remaining male bots
were shutting down as well.
It doesn't sicken you to sit with someone so ugly?
You're not ugly.
Thank you, but you are wrong about that.
Looks aren't everything. Haven't you ever heard
don't judge a book by it's cover.
Writers say this, publishers know it's not true.
Well, your script has nothing to do with looks and
it's very good. Beautiful in fact.
What is this? Why you didn't tell me I was ugly?
Why? Why! What is this?
You didn't ask.
I was attracted to you because of your attitude anyway.
Confidence is hot.
Really? I like that.
I like this.
What is this? What is this?
Hey, Good morning.
Morning.
Son, did you sleep well?
Do you still fit into your bed?
Yeah.
Listen, you know we're very proud of you.
Don't be.
What are you talking about? You made so much money and you went
after what you wanted.
Yeah, I abandoned all my friends
to fall in love with a robot and now I'm left with nothing.
I know that this is what you don't want to be right now,
back home with your parents. What you had is what you wanted,
were you ever actually happy?
Yeah, I thought I was, you know.
But looking back at it, Vanessa, just
did whatever I wanted and agreed with everything I said.
And you know she never did fart.
Farting is not good for relationships.
Listen to me,
I know that you and I haven't seen eye to eye and I know I've
been very tough on you, but this
is the best advice I can give you right now.
Listen to me,
fame and success can give you a sense of false confidence.
Here you have the fame. Here you have the success.
You have an opportunity here!
Which is what?
From everything bad something good comes out.
Use your notoriety for good things.
Heal your inner wounds.
Amend your wrong doing.
And make it up to your friends by doing something good.
Isn't that all what the bots are about, helping lonely men?
I mean, Yeah I guess. In a way, sure.
Oh my God, I hate my life.
Ah! I can't feel the zuku zuku with you.
Excuse me, the what?
I would love to be alone, would you please just leave?
My pleasure.
I know you are a hot girl...
Sorry.
Hey! Fahad around?
Oh, that looks good.
I know. Just don't touch.
I'm so beautiful, woohoo!
So beautiful!
Someone's feeling better.
Oh guys, I have news from Allur.
With the robots gone, tourism is back up a tad, but-
it's still a bad situation.
My movie could have saved Allur, but we don't have money.
No money. No honey.
No.
No? We didn't lose all that money?
Do you think I'm some kind of dummy? I cashed in our
investment after we made a killing on the American Launch.
Wow! Wow! Wow! So amazing!
Man you are so beautiful.
So are you.
So Khalid if you guys sold your stake in Evanbots like forever
ago, what were you guys still doing there?
I liked having friends.
Plus it was a way to keep Fahad away from mirrors.
Yeah. I know who's going to be the star in my movie.
Well. You're going to have talk to my agent about that.
I thought you were my agent too.
I'm nobody's agent.
Bye Fahad!
Who's this?
She is no one.
Where are you going?
Hey come on Steph!
What did I do, what with all the girls. Oh my...
Oh, she brought this for me?
Uh huh, enjoy.
Wow, Steph!
You know just last week I was having a heart to
heart with my weed smoking construction working dad the
other day and it made me realize
that what I thought I wanted wasn't in fact true.
I was just seeking fame for all the wrong
reasons and I realized that I, me, myself.
Was enough and I didn't
need Instagram followers to feel
complete and um, you know I quickly realized
that farting in relationships that was important,
not the fame, not the followers.
And I really owe my dad for that one. Even if he is a stoner.
Thank you so much, I'll take any questions you might have.
Yeah, you in the front.
Um, what was it like when you realized you hit your lowest.
My lowest?
I'm horny!
Um that's not really a question, but okay. You there!
I'm horny, too!
Babe what are you doing? We just got back from Cabo.
Also not a question. These aren't questions!
Fahad! Get out of here!
Fahad! The warehouse!
I'm horny! I'm horny. I'm horny.
Hi Steph.
I liked the cake.
You probably think I'm a sexist asshole.
Steph when I found out I was ugly,
I wasn't sure if I could be attractive anymore.
So you had to get your dick wet to test it out.
Yes.
How'd that work out for you?
Terrible.
Good.
Steph,
I feel different when I'm around you.
You do?
Yes, I do. Because you accepted me for who I am and
allowed me to accept myself. You make me feel like I'm enough.
That eyebrow is enough.
I'm so horny. I'm so horny.
No, no, no, no!
Woah, woah, woah.
I'm so horny. So horny.
No, no, no, no! Woah, woah, woah!
So horny. So horny!
It's not the right place.
Oh, huh, ho.
What are you doing? It's not the right place.
Oh!
Quite the overactive hypothalamus she has there.
Barry,
Barry, to the warehouse. Barry-
Barry!
Fahad help!
You go save yourself, it's too late for me!
State and local officials are warning
everyone to stay inside lock your doors and close your
windows. Or don't.
Ooh, It's getting hot in here. Ooh.
You know what?
That's all the time we have for-
Gotta go!
Barry! Barry! Barry! The switch. Barry!
You! What are you doing here?
Darwin.
Do not call me Darwin. I am not Darwin anymore.
Okay! Douchebag!
I knew that you were causing all these problems.
Me? Yes, you!
You're the one who destroyed this company,
ruined my life by hitting the kill switch and now
you want to torment me further?
I didn't do that.
It was you.
No! Darwin, It was you.
You and your disgusting moles and stupid singular eyebrow.
Hey guys.
Long time, no see my friends!
Welcome back to Evanbots.
Or should I say Barry Bots.
The company, The company that I created!
Oh you have nothing to say?
Oh, oh.
You didn't tell me Vanessa was a robot.
Whoah!
I created Vanessa to amp up your self esteem.
Hey! You're welcome.
Also you said no one could ever fall in love with a robot.
Well you did, didn't you.
Boop!
Ah go to Hell.
I thought we were friends.
And then you kicked me out of my own company!
And because you two ruined me
I was the one who shut everything down.
What? You didn't do it?
I just told you, I didn't do this.
Shhhh.
I wanted you two to witness me losing my
virginity first hand.
Drumroll please.
Oh!
Wooo!!
I created a bioweapon
that affects the neurons in women and
allows me to control them.
Barry! Barry Barry Barry Barry!
Holy shit.
Yes! Every woman in the world now wants to have sex
with me. Real women, not rubber.
No no no no, No! Oh fudge.
Enjoy the show boys.
Barry! Barry! Barry. Barry.
Darwin.
I'm not Darwin.
You are Darwin. You've always been Darwin.
Darwin, think!
Hi. I'm Steph.
Steph, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
I was attracted to you because of your attitude anyway.
I feel different when I'm around you.
Wow. Bravo, bravo.
STEPH; Your kinda cute you know that.
It is I, Darwin to the rescue.
Now bite the rope off.
Why am I doing the biting?
Because you have those nice American teeth.
Do it!
Alright, alright!
Oh no! Noooo!
Barry! Barry! Barry!
Woooohooo!
Yes, Untie me. Darwin untie me. Go!
Darwin Save us!
What if? What if?
What happened? What's going on? What?
Where are you going?
Where are we?
Who the hell are you?
Ew, what a creep. Let's get out of here.
Come back!
Barry! Of course it was you. You and your virginity.
Evan.
I knew it was you.
I didn't mean to do it.
Steph?
Where's Fahad?
In here.
Fahad!
Fahad! Fahad!
Oh my God. I'm so glad you're okay.
Yeah, I'm okay. I'm so happy to see you.
I'm so happy too.
Don't move. It's over.
Hey you guys! Oh my god I'm so happy to
see you. Look I was such a dick and
I'm sorry I can see that now. Okay, the fame, it just,
it went to my head.
Alright? I don't know how else to put this, but you guys are my
best friends. Will you forgive me?
Oh Fahad. I love you buddy.
You are beautiful. Thank you so much.
Don't be a dick sometimes.
I love you.
It's good to have you back.
Darwin you saved us.
I'm not Darwin. I'm Fahad.
I love you guys.
We love you too.
I don't get it. Aren't they like royal?
Why are they getting married in her backyard?
It's a jewish wedding. The bride side pays for everything.
We are gathered here today to witness the generic
non-denominational union of two beautiful people, Fahad and
Steph, who I had the great pleasure to meet just last week.
Oh father!
Fahad!
What are you doing here?
You saved the kingdom! Everybody wants to come
to Allur to see famous action Hollywood movie star
Fahad Bin Alawi!
The country is abuzz.
Tourism is back and stronger than ever.
Woo! That's incredible!
Fahad, you're incredible.
Thank you. Thank you.
Kiss the bride.
You may now kiss the bride.
And so Fahad did it. He became a famous action movie
star and he saved his country all at the same time.
Life was good for the ugly fellow.
Hello.
Hi, Congratulations.
Thank you.
Where are you two going on your honeymoon?
Oh, we are going to North Dakota.
Oh yes, the obvious choice of course.
For the opening of Sex Action the movie.
Oh, we won't be there for a long time because
we are going to open movie studios in Allur.
You're saying there's going to be a sequel to the remake of
the adaptation of the television show?
Absolutely.
Well who's going to be in it except for you, of course.
Oh, you will have to ask my agent.
No, no, no. My client deserves 10 times that
amount are you crazy?
I will tell you one thing. There will be a big
part for my friend Evan!
Fahad, no no no. I'm done with the spotlight man.
It's over.
Is that Darwin? Hi!
Hi ladies. How you doing?
My God, sorry. Can we take a picture with you? Please...
Yeah, of course.
Oh my God. I can't believe this is happening.
Thank you so much!
Darwin! Wow, Wow, Wow!!
Darwin here. I can't believe it!
Fahad, I'm so proud of you, you showed the world that you can be
not hot and still be an action movie star.
Yes.
That's awesome, Darwin!
Hey.
Hi.
How's it going?
Good.
Pretty good wedding, huh?
Mhm, yeah.
Um-
Before we flirt any further,
you, you aren't a robot by chance are you?
No.
No?
No.
Do you want to dance?
Yeah.
Thank you. Meet me on the dance floor. Come on.