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Life isn't measured by the number
of breaths we take.
But by the moments that take our breath away.
FBI Los Angeles 224.
This is Agent Solomon, code 6GTM.
Yeah, it's DeRitter, 31522NG
I'm gonna need a cover for Lake Mervielle.
It's located in Northern California.
I don't know how long I'm staying,
but just send it to my phone.
10 four, DeRitter, will do.
Marigo, Marigold?
Lake Mervielle.
It looks like there's fish in there, mom.
The fall she returned to Lake Mervielle
everything changed.
What the fuck were you thinking?
You almost got yourself killed,
not to mention your backup.
Please, I have a baby!
Let her go.
Yes, she was running, but she had no idea
why she chose to come back here of all places.
Holy Christ!
Oh my God, shit I'm sorry.
I can't believe this is happening.
I heard a scream earlier.
Was that you?
Just wanted to go for a swim.
Now I can't.
Only time that I have.
Okay.
Would you mind?
Isn't it a little Autumn for a dip in the lake?
Is that any of your business?
Oh!
Oh, here.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Just get off me.
Okay.
I just,
can you tell me which one of these god forsaken roads
leads to Lake Mervielle?
At our reunion last year my college roommate
told me about her amazing rustic cabin.
Got an address?
Yeah.
Oh, it's in the car.
Do you mind?
If that isn't too much to ask.
So who was your college roommate?
Heather Adams.
Heather?
Well, quite a character,
but no one's heard from her in forever.
What did you say your name was?
McKenzie Aaron, and you?
She remembered her mother saying
the sleepy berg was filled with rather eccentric
and colorful characters right out of the novel.
I think that has,
see that has a little bit of a red.
I got it.
Hi, I'm here for cabin keys.
Yeah, come on in.
And you've got a few of the new ones together over that.
It's too challenging for you.
Shame on you!
I'm sorry, and you are?
McKenzie.
I'm here for the Heather Adams cabin.
Property manager said they'd leave the key with you?
- Ah yes. - Right, I am so sorry.
We were just giving Colin's latest masterpiece a test run.
Hold on one sec.
Grand Pants is famous.
Oh no, not even remotely.
He designs puzzles, look.
Wow.
First glance, it just looks like part of the design.
But when you look closer you can see
that each and every piece has it's own little story.
And it isn't until you put all those pieces together
that you can actually see the big picture.
I used to do puzzles with my mom
but nothing like this.
My mom thinks they are a waste of time.
Like, what's the point of sticking thousands
of cardboard pieces together, if you could just
go to the store, buy a print and frame it?
That's hardly the point.
Right?
Here you go.
- Oh thanks. - You are welcome.
So if you need any help getting settled in
my granddaughter here lives to be of service.
No, I've got it.
Thank you.
Okay.
Who am I?
I just happen to be the sole writer slash editor
and distributor of the Pine Mountain Gazette,
which serves all 929 readers in a 50 mile radius.
Of all the stories I've watched unfold
hers is by far my personal favorite.
Hey.
Hey kid?
Are you supposed to be out here alone?
Where's your mom?
Teaching, where's yours?
Touch it?
Soft things melt hard things.
Um, hey I've gotta be somewhere.
I'm sorry about what I said.
Who is taking care of you?
As long as the Fabio Ladies Book Club can see me
I'm okay.
My mom, she makes me wear this just in case.
One time I got lost...
Yeah, yeah I got it.
Okay, I'm just gonna go and make sure they know you're here.
Better 'cause I could be halfway to Mexico by now.
She was only here because she had promised
her mother she would return.
While she was a little too city for these parts
she had never broken her word to her mom.
She wouldn't start now.
She had no tolerance for patience.
She thought she might go mad from boredom.
And she was sick of this rustic cabin.
She ventured into town,
where the Pine Mountain Inn served
as the General Store, Post Office and gossip central.
Hey you!
Hey, come join us.
I don't think I caught your name.
McKenzie.
But most people call me Max.
Cass.
May I present Boy of a Million Adventures, Freddie.
And this one you've met is still my mother, Adele.
And that handsome devil is Rodney,
proprietor of Rodney's Rodeo Bar and Grill.
Hi, it's nice to meet you.
Lovely to meet you.
Within two visits she learned Colin
had been a highly revered philosophy professor
until he chucked it all one night,
moved into town, and began to design
his complex and intricate puzzles.
Widowed, he met the highly controversial Cassandra,
an anti-feminist feminist who believed women
could be insanely powerful
and still be full of grace and beauty.
Let me crash upon your shores,
shipwrecking your thighs.
Promise?
She quickly came to understand why.
Mama Adele, founder of the Fabio Ladies Book Club
and daughter Cass, were known to all
as the Endless Bickersons.
She heard a term called Freddie vision,
but she would have no idea what that meant
until much later.
You know what I love more than rice pudding?
What, my sweet daughter?
Star Ventures!
When the last star in the sky disappears
we begin our star venture.
And there is only one rule for the day.
No rules, we just go wherever our will takes us.
She had no use for nostalgia.
Bristled at the cloying, bittersweet memories.
If she couldn't bury herself in her work
she would run.
In any event, grief would not best her.
If you go in there, you're gonna
get her killed yourself.
Wait for the negotiator.
I've never seen a mother daughter any closer
than the two of you.
We all loved her.
She was one of a kind.
But you didn't take the time you needed.
I can see the fear in your eyes.
I have a baby please!
Let her go!
Do you got the fucking balls?
I'll fucking waste her!
Do it!
You're off the case.
Off doing it.
90 days.
Your grief is a scraggy bitch.
And she doesn't give a royal fuck about best intentions
or whether you have the luxury of waiting her out.
You've gotta find a way through this pain, Max.
Not around it.
Hey!
Hey.
Glad I caught you actually.
Grand Pants wanted to know if you wanted to come in
for some full moon mud pie.
I'm not much of a dessert person.
This is not just a dessert.
This is a life changing experience.
You need to be here.
He only makes it once a month.
You don't wanna get FOMO.
It's real.
Oh and we're about to start a new puzzle.
You look like you're trying to keep yourself busy
and this is not the place for that.
Well, I definitely don't wanna get FOMO.
Great.
We start around like seven.
All right then.
Colin's full moon mud pie
came from the monthly celestial event
which made the inky night sky brilliant with stars
and became the blueprint for his puzzles.
You can start, you don't have to wait.
Okay, thanks.
Oh my God, that is so good.
Right, I tell him he should be a chef.
My darling man.
Oh, thank you darling.
All right let's see.
What have we got here?
Where are we?
Mademoiselle does borders.
Yes, oui oui mademoiselle does borders
and the straight edged pieces align themselves
with earth or sky.
God, I know this.
Lost In Translation, the James Merle poem.
Every time they start a new puzzle,
they quote it like scripture.
Nothing is lost or all else is translation.
And every bit of us is lost in it.
Um yeah, puzzle as existential metaphor.
Right.
Go get some full moon.
Yes sir.
This is McKenzie.
Hi.
This gad fly is Gabrielle's sister,
my granddaughter who I like sometimes.
In spite of herself she was enjoying
the company.
And that damn pie, it was the best thing she'd eaten
since she got there.
After much urging she finally sat in
on the weekly Friday chess tournament.
Are you in?
Oh.
Get in.
Okay, let's do this.
Such disappointment is coming your way.
You don't know my chess skills, okay?
Right.
He's gonna whip you like a rented mule.
I'm just telling you up front.
He seems harmless.
Like a lovely woodland creature, but no.
This is the part where he sneaks up on you.
No, no, no, not that.
Like a monkey in the woods.
Nice, but check mate!
Yeah, it's humbling, isn't it?
Yes it is.
As you can see, it takes very little stimulate us.
Yeah, but forget about that.
Are you ready?
Does a polar bear poop in the snow?
I don't know, I did not go to college.
All right I'm getting a jilly bar for the winner.
And don't forget the whip.
That's right, that's the attitude.
They might be quaint and slightly odd
but they sure had a way of enjoying themselves.
Oh you want some?
They all seemed skilled at making
the simplest occurrence quite extraordinary.
I instantly regretted it.
And that is how it's done here in Lake Mervielle.
We're all about manners.
We sure are.
She still ran but now she felt
the cold morning mist wash over her.
And she didn't hate it.
So you understand that this isn't a part
of the original instructions?
It's a cotta soul to your father's will
to be acted upon giving certain criteria.
What I'm about to tell you
will certainly be counter to what you've heard
or known all these years.
But it's nonetheless the truth.
Don't you just love the count
even though he's a pernicious rapscallion.
Like Rhett Butler carrying Scarlett
up those fancy steps.
They don't make men like that anymore.
You think all that is progressive.
Well afternoon, good townspeople.
I know what you're thinking-
who invited George Clooney to this affair.
Oh I did.
Nice, no actually I'm just,
thought I'd swing by, see if you got them mixers
I ordered?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna mix that up.
I'll mix it right up for you.
I wish you would, I wish you would.
So, what do you say, you in?
You in for some of the best fishing
you'll ever see in anywhere in these parts?
Oh, I think I'll sit this one out.
Maybe next time.
Oh, what are you gonna do?
Go home and cry about your life?
So sad, boo!
You're no fun, she's fun.
No, I will not eat them.
Kind of reading the paper here.
What you reading about?
Boo.
Psst.
Do you have somewhere to be?
No.
Do you know I like cheese raviolis?
Know what my mom always says?
Nope.
'Cause I like them a lot.
I...
Like a lot, a lot.
Right.
And she also wishes that she was a spy, like you.
Hum, that looks interesting.
Well that's crazy because I'm not a spy.
Do you have somewhere to be?
Nope, nope nowhere to be.
I could sit here with you all day.
If you were stranded in the rain forest
what's one item you'd have?
You stay here, I'm gonna go.
Okay.
Okay good.
She ain't coming back.
Hey good luck, gotta have good luck
when you're fishing.
That's right 'cause I've got questionable jujus
so we need all the help we can get.
All right, let's roll.
Oh, I have to go to the bathroom already.
I don't bite, you know.
Why thank you.
Hey.
Your skin's soft.
Okay, thank you.
Hey.
Hey, you okay?
Freddie?
Yeah, I'm just in it.
What?
Can't you feel it?
Memorizing it.
For next time.
Next time?
Like when I have to go to the hospital.
Or get my blood drawn.
You're something else.
I know.
But I didn't ask to be.
Hey, I didn't mean it like that.
Don't worry, I'm used to it.
Think I don't know what people see?
Gawking at me.
Their eyes are like pin balls.
Look anywhere but at the dork,
that's what's in their minds.
But out of their mouths were special needs.
One must be PC after all.
It's okay Max.
I have a really good life, I do.
And besides I get to know things, feel things
other people can't.
Like how your heart is so ginormous
and that's why it hurts so deep.
Listen, try not to worry, okay?
His lifeline's here.
I can't get Rodney on his cell phone.
He's a cowboy.
He's got about as much use for a cell phone
as a damn donkey.
Don't defend him, Cat.
No, I'm not defending him.
I'm just stating a fact.
What's the story here?
- Huh? - The story.
I mean he's smart as a whip, this one.
Yeah but,
what is it?
It's called Fanconi Anemia.
It's rare as hell and it clobbers the genes
that do DNA repair.
Not to mention the seizures and the cancer
just breathing down their necks.
If that's not enough of a challenge
then life expectancy, tick tock.
His mother, Sammy, she's a gladiator.
I've never seen her buckle.
I don't know how she does it.
I mean she's made out of steel and strawberries.
Want you to join us for dinner tonight.
Oh no, thank you.
Now you need to be with people.
Cat won't take no for an answer.
Well in that case.
Whoa whoa whoa you got one!
You got one, there we go!
Get it, get it, get it!
Let's take it off in there.
Hey we better get your home.
Okay, yeah.
That's why I didn't eat the sandwich.
Yeah, yeah.
Mom, mom, mom!
What could you possibly be thinking?
And who the hell do you think you are?
Do you have a kid?
No because if you did you would have never taken
my son without my permission.
Mom, she...
Sammy, Sammy, let's reel it in.
Don't even, because I know you went to the big lake.
Well of course we did.
There's no fish in the small one.
Everyone knows no big lake unless I'm along.
Did you remember to take his afternoon meds?
What if he had a seizure out there?
I brought them in my bag.
Oh see there you go, no harm no foul.
- No harm no foul. - Stay out of it.
Hey Freddie, here's you...
No.
Oh come on.
Sammy you can't take the fish and his catch away from him.
That wouldn't be right.
Hey, I'm really sorry
but I would never hurt your son.
Mom, Max is like crazy wonderful.
She's an awesome storyteller.
Imagine that.
Let's go make some dinner.
Yeah, this party's over.
So, I called Heather today.
But her phone was disconnected
so I did a little digging.
Ended up speaking to her mother.
Heather died about five years ago.
My son always believes the best in people
but I don't suffer from that virtue.
Stay the hell away from both of us.
You're right, and I'm sorry I lied about Heather.
But the truth is I'm working a special assignment
for the EPA.
We're investigating potential environmental threats
in the area
and it's classified so we work undercover.
I'm sorry for any confusion.
All right, we'll see you later.
Officer of whatever that is.
Okay it's possible I was a little too rough on her.
Oh come on, she's a good girl.
Trust me, when have I ever led you astray?
Do not answer that.
Just go make my trout almandine,
the way I like it.
Well if you would behave like a grown up.
I'm trying to, but...
I could.
I've got women coming at me like bullets.
Did mom ever get here?
I have no idea.
This looks nice.
There you go.
Thank you.
She's joining us for dinner.
So sorry.
You should have started without me.
That's against every good breeding tip
you've ever crammed into our little pagan ears.
Shut it!
This is our mom.
Mom, this is McKenzie Aaron.
Lovely to meet you.
How long have you been here?
A week.
Enjoying your stay?
Uh huh.
McKenzie's a really great puzzler.
Oh so they've lured you into their little conclave.
Hey, were you here a few summers ago?
No.
You look familiar.
I'm just one of those faces, I guess.
Yeah, that's just so fascinating.
Why don't you tell us what you're doing here.
Oh just getting away from it all.
And yes, pointedly, un fascinating.
Running, that's where I've seen you.
Have you run by the big lake yet?
Yeah, I've been hiking and running everywhere.
It's some kind of beautiful out there.
Some kind of beautiful.
Mom?
I understand you work for the government?
Yeah, mom used to be a congresswoman.
Now she's a consultant, though.
With the administration you know,
the phone's ringing off the hook.
Yeah, not an easy gig.
Yeah, that house of cards selling his soul shit.
I thought we had a rule here.
Yeah, no iPhones or politics at the dinner table.
We get enough of it everywhere else.
It's because it's the latest spectator sport.
Reality by stupid America where we wait
everyday with sheer anticipointment.
Aren't you clever, Sasha?
I seem to recall you didn't show up to vote.
If people wanna know why millennials have checked out
it's because you made us check out.
With all your lies, BS, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin.
Tell us how you really feel.
Okay, here we go.
I think if the millennials checked out
it's because we coddled you so spectacularly.
Coddled?
Jesus, you were still drinking back then for days at a time
and when I needed a mother it wasn't you.
Stop screaming at her about what she hasn't done right.
Look at you, what have you done right?
This is bullshit.
McKenzie, I'm sorry McKenzie.
My girls are usually a little more civilized.
What?
Enough!
Gabrielle, enough.
I forgot.
Gabrielle, come with me.
Gabrielle!
Don't sweetie.
I'm just gonna go help.
Oh my God.
McKenzie knew from her years of FBI training
that there were far deeper secrets buried here
than her own.
I'll be back.
See, isn't this nice?
You don't always have to talk, you know.
You know what my mom's favorite word is?
No, but I bet money you're about to tell me.
Kintsukuroi.
Know what that means?
Not even remotely.
More beautiful for having been broken.
It's Japanese.
Here.
It's cold.
I know you didn't see any reason to meet your birth mother
and I assume that's in large part because you were told
she left you.
But in fact that's not what happened.
There's a couple ducks.
Does a one legged duck swim in a circle?
Are you beating me?
Yes, I love when you babysit me, Gabrielle.
Ah, feeling's mutual, little man.
Freak!
Don't listen to them, okay?
They're jerks.
Hey, what happened to you?
Yeah, stick your hand in some meat grinders?
If you guys don't stop,
I'm gonna get mom.
Yeah, let's keep playing, okay?
Hey lobster boy, get a little too close to the lawn mower?
Oh look at you crying.
Boo hoo.
Creeper creeper why the freaker?
I'm outta here.
Three.
What a retard.
I've never seen such a retard.
Mega tard.
Weirdo.
Hey!
What do you want?
What did you just say?
What do you care?
A hell of a lot is what I care.
Now listen up.
You speak to anyone like that ever again,
I'm gonna find you.
I'll make your sorry little lives freaking miserable.
You got that?
Fuck you!
I'm sorry, he told me to.
I really didn't mean it.
It was his fault.
You okay?
I didn't want to.
Then don't say it.
Are you okay?
Hey, that was cool what you did over there.
Well, they won't be bothering Freddie anymore.
No they certainly won't.
Honey were those the same kids from last year?
Hey.
I know that it probably doesn't feel like it
but it isn't you they don't like.
It's themselves.
Okay?
What do you say we go get you two those jilly bars?
Yeah?
Can Max come?
Uh, I'm sure she has some things she has to do.
Thank you for that.
You think in this day and age
people would be a little more sensitive.
I don't know how you deal with the bullshit.
Well they certainly don't hand out a manual.
I don't know, you just learn to muddle through
and hope like hell that people become less ignorant
and less angry.
Less fearful of those who look different
or love different.
Freddie, don't let them get to you, okay?
They just...
See the special needs freak show.
Hey, don't say that!
Come on.
You know why I think they call you special needs?
Because I'm all that?
No, it's not you who need us.
It's all of us who need you.
Okay, it's true.
Don't know what I'd do without you.
Look, I promised them I'd take them for jilly bars so...
Samantha!
In other news.
The Sister Wives just took home a Grammy
for Song of the Year, I Don't Play.
Lead singer Lisa Jane remarked upon hearing the news
that she hoped women everywhere find inspiration
in their journey.
Hey little man.
What's wrong?
Why don't you like Max?
I know what you need.
Hello?
Hi.
Thanks for your help the other day,
but you're just here for a visit,
but Freddie's full time.
Not a roadside attraction.
So please, whatever you do
don't play him.
Hey, the last thing I'm doing is playing your son.
Shit.
Look I shouldn't have said that.
He's pretty damn insistent that I give you
a second chance.
He's got a heart that will overlook anything.
And I just don't wanna see him hurt.
So?
How about Saturday afternoon?
Sure.
So why puzzling?
I guess it's shown me a whole new way
to see things.
It's taken me way beyond what I thought
I could comprehend.
How so?
Well none of us are remotely capable
of experiencing the world we live in.
You know, we've created two and three dimensional
boundaries just to try to make sense of things.
But what lives inside the spaces of those boundaries?
And you're able to see that
when you're puzzling?
Well I've had some brief glimpses when I'm deep
into a puzzle and where possibilities are limitless.
It's like looking at a cloud and seeing the face of God.
Huh.
Well to puzzling.
Oh, to puzzling.
To going where no man has gone before.
Oh yeah.
Live long and prosper.
Let me help.
You can't help.
Come on.
Come on, Vivienne, what can I do?
Take me to the nearest bar.
Come on.
McKenzie, that's not her name?
Mom?
Hey!
Can I help?
No I just need to wait for it to cool down.
Actually I'm pretty handy with cars.
What's the problem?
Well it needs a new, well everything.
It's just not a priority on the list.
Next to all the bills
and I mean God how I thought I could make a living
being a dance teacher out here is beyond me.
Well you got a lot on your plate.
Look, I'm not a martyr.
Oh, that's not what I heard.
I heard that you never crumble.
Oh trust me I have my days.
While we're waiting,
why don't you tell me about them?
And then when he was five and we had gone through
one of his surgeries,
one of my old dance friends came by
and she proceeded to tell me how everyone felt
so sorry that I didn't have a normal child
and how it must be such a burden.
Oh my God.
Yeah and then I asked her why she thought
I wanted a normal kid
because I didn't want Freddie to be anything
other than who he is.
And then she pulled me aside
and she said, "Don't ever say that again.
Makes you sound crazy."
What?
Maybe I am crazy.
No, no.
Every day Freddie teaches me something new.
I mean sure the every day challenges can be annoying
but we really are just very happy how we are.
I always say when you hug Freddie it's like hugging God.
I mean how does it get any better than that?
It doesn't.
It's her!
Quick, open the door!
Well she's not gonna vanish into thin air.
Gosh, this is crazy awesome that you're here.
Care for a surprise?
Does heaven taste like cotton candy?
Mom's made the most awesome cheese raviolis ever!
We're gonna have garlic bread
and for dessert some apple pie.
Look mom, this is called the Nesting Doll
and it's like the coolest thing ever.
It's like seeing all the times of a person's life
and how things stay part of you forever.
Max got her first one from her mom
when she was four.
And always got a new one at Christmas and birthdays.
And she has like hundreds of them at home.
Hey, I'm not that old.
Okay, it's time for dinner and early bedtime for you.
Can Max stay?
I don't know.
Can Max stay?
I'd love to.
Yeah!
Okay little man, time for bed.
It was only then that Max
began to fully grasp their daily challenges.
Wow, you weren't fooling around.
The monkeys.
Yeah, he collects them like you do nesting dolls.
Why monkeys?
Well he used to love how Curious George
was always busting out and doing things he shouldn't
until that man with that...
Silly yellow hat.
I say don't mock me!
That's right.
I love you the biggest, the mostest,
and the foreverest.
Mama, I love you the mostest.
Hi.
You had one, didn't you?
No, no.
Mom.
Okay, but I'm fine.
Look, more importantly, how are you?
'Cause I know those kids were back at the lake.
No mom.
Max took care of that.
You've been very quiet all night long.
It's like when I have to go to my place at the hospital
and you know I have to be there
until it's okay I can, right?
Yeah sweetie.
Is that where you've been?
Well McKenzie does the same thing.
She has to go to her place a lot.
A lot, a lot,
because she hurts crazy awful.
And she doesn't have someone helping her feel safe.
I'll be right back.
Looks like someone's been busy.
I didn't wanna be rude, but...
Well you were the other night.
Left without saying goodbye.
Yeah I wasn't feeling well, sorry.
Look, I'm not sure I buy that.
I'm not sure what to think actually.
Freddie says you were just sad
and I will bet on Freddie every single time.
To monkey man.
So if Freddie's right,
what are you so sad about?
I'm not sad, I'm just tired.
Okay look I'm not trying to intrude.
I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you?
Yeah, for making my son so happy.
I don't think I have ever seen him light up
the way he does when you're around.
Well he's freakily awesome kid.
Maddening at times, but...
Whoo!
Hey, I'm a pretty great listener.
I...
Thank you, I've got something
for all you lovers out there.
I should be going.
I'll take you home.
No, no, no I've got a car.
What, two for the price of one?
How'd I get so lucky?
Come on, let's go kick the shit out of some dancing.
Ever seen this one dance?
Uh oh, you're in for a treat.
Hey Rodney, we have to go change the keg.
Oh, all right dance by yourself.
Hey, have you decided yet?
Look, you gotta order something.
Okay, you know what, a scotch.
Double.
You sure you wanna go that way?
All right.
Your mother didn't choose to cut you out of her life.
That was your father's decision.
You father was a dear friend.
I watched him agonize over this decision.
Thanks Mommo, I love it.
Oh my baby bobo.
You're getting so big.
Not big enough.
I can't wait to grow up and become a policeman
just like daddy.
You don't want to grow up too fast, sweetie.
Once you've done it, there's no going back.
So do you have to work tomorrow?
How are those kids?
Kids are big.
Samantha!
Hey, Samantha, Samantha!
Do you always cut out on people
without any explanation?
No, of course not.
Really McKenzie?
I don't know what to think.
Something about you is just not right.
Something is off.
I don't know...
My mother died.
What?
Last night, a year ago.
And I just, I lost it.
And no, I'm not one to cut out on people
so I want to apologize.
Come with me.
My gun was in my pocket the whole time.
I don't know how you put up with it.
Yeah, I don't know.
This isn't what I do.
What you do to forget or in general?
Both.
Beckett, it's me.
Listen I need you to do something for me.
So tell me about her.
She was, she was the only person I ever trusted.
In everything.
You know I used to get teased a lot
about being adopted but I couldn't have been loved more
by anyone else.
She was...
My dad used to bring me up here.
So if I ever need to clear my head,
this is where I come.
You've never mentioned him.
Does he live here?
He died when I was 23
so I know what it's like to lose a parent
that shaped you.
It's still so fresh for you.
Yeah.
I am sorry about your dad.
Don't be, he was amazing.
But when he passed I sort of bottomed out.
I stopped dancing.
Ended up with Derek and got pregnant within months.
Something was wrong with the pregnancy.
We just didn't know what.
But the moment that he was born
everyone pushed for a DNR,
so they administered the morphine
and took him off the vent.
And when they put him on my chest
my heart broke in two million pieces.
He was so fragile.
If there's a hell on this earth
it's trying to help your baby die.
I just held him and I prayed
and I told him it was okay to go.
Whatever he needed.
Derek, he left the hospital.
Said he couldn't be there.
Where are you?
And I felt like I was in a horror movie.
It's so surreal just waiting and waiting for him to pass.
I need you, I can't do this alone.
But he just kept breathing and living.
Derek, the doctors, my friends, everyone
they'd already given up on him.
What are you saying?
It's too hard for you to watch him die?
I spent 135 days in the NICU.
We will never ever come back from this.
I'm done.
135 days of strong babies dying
and weak babies living.
And it was all so arbitrary.
You know it made me realize
motherhood is not an entitlement.
It's a sacred privilege.
So you damn well better bring it and don't complain.
My God, I'm sorry.
We came up here to help you
and off I go on this rant.
Are you kidding me?
Thank you, thank you for sharing that with me.
You don't have to be sad anymore
because you have us now.
We are merged.
Is he okay?
What is merged?
He merges the people he loves into his soul.
Very few get that honor.
I am honored.
Please excuse my ignorance,
but when does he need the wheelchair?
Well when he's completely well he doesn't need it at all,
but when he's really sick we use it to conserve
his energy.
So does he have any contact with his dad?
None.
Anyone else since?
It's one thing to date a single mom.
Quite another when you add a wheelchair to the mix.
How's that?
Well imagine every night you come home,
the first thing we talk about is Freddie's day.
Doctors visits, test results, therapy.
Or maybe you finally fit in that tennis game
and I'm blowing up your phone all day with texts
from the ER.
Forget anyone else's needs getting met
because my priority is the Freddie channel 24 seven.
Don't I sound like a perfect catch?
I don't play tennis.
Not that fast.
I thought I'd get him home.
Oh sure, sure.
Hey, would you like to join us for dinner?
Yeah, yeah.
I just have to drop by my cabin,
but then I'll be there.
Say seven?
Yeah.
Hey Beckett, were you able to match it?
Oh good, yes yes, send it to me right away.
Oh fuck.
How can I help you?
What is your best bottle of red?
You don't wanna know.
But I happen to have some of my private reserve
for folks with discriminating tastes.
Be right back.
Of all the gin joints.
Vivienne.
It's kind of a shocker huh?
Buck, can I get two shots of your best scotch?
Oh no, I don't want...
No, no, it's okay Buck, yeah.
Pretty remarkable coincidence if you ask me.
My mother used to bring me here as a kid so
coincidence dispelled.
I know who you are McKenzie.
Okay, who am I?
You're a Quantico rock star.
Although you're off at present for disciplinary action.
And I'm sorry about your mother.
But I have to ask myself why is it
that we are both vacationing in this little town
that I've made my second home?
So who are you working for?
And what is it that you want?
You saw for yourself I'm on leave.
And what happened 10 years ago is nobody's business, okay?
So if you'll excuse me,
- I'm running late. - I want you to stay away
from my family.
I still have some sway with your director
and I can make things very uncomfortable for you.
I'll do whatever the hell I please.
His little hair is sticking up.
It's killing me.
Jesus, he's burning up.
I was afraid he was coming down with something.
I'm gonna go get some Tylenol.
Seriously, fucking ridiculous.
Oh no I've got him.
Let's go.
Do you need to take him in?
Unfortunately his immune system is shot.
Every time he goes in the hospital
he catches something even worse.
And I've had plenty of practice breaking these fevers.
Look I'm sure you have other things
you need to get to.
Not a chance.
Mom, mom!
Where's... what are you doing?
Get over here quick and shut the door.
FBI?
Forget that.
How do they know each other
and what the fuck is she doing here?
They probably just know each other through work.
Mom was on the intelligence committee.
Couldn't they have just met there?
Gabrielle, look at this photo.
And try not to be a fucking Disney princess.
What do you see?
It's like she just can't help herself.
Wonder what else she hasn't told us?
These are the nights that I'm haunted.
I can't stand to think of him suffering and...
Hey hey, he wants to be here.
He's made that very clear.
What can I do, what do you need?
Get me out of my head.
Tell me more about your mother,
the way that you do Freddie.
Okay, we would go on these star ventures.
Star ventures?
Yeah.
We would get up in the morning with the stars
and I'd get in the car
and then go on an adventure.
No rules, no shoulds,
and we would have the best time you could ever imagine.
When I was like six or seven
she started this tradition
where we would go around the table
and mama would ask what was the best thing
that happened to you today.
And the worst.
Or if this was your last day on earth
what would you do.
And she would wrap it up with,
what did you learn about yourself today.
So, what did you learn about yourself today?
That my greatest mom on earth
may have to share her title.
I think his fever's finally breaking.
You belong to us.
I'm here.
I'm not going anywhere.
Love you, monkey man.
Wait a minute, what's this?
You know what, maybe we found enough dirt on her
for one day.
Do we really wanna...
Don't buckle now.
Open it.
How do you do it?
Keeping him well, the constant stress.
Dancing.
Wait, isn't that the definition of irony?
How absolute freedom of movement saves me
from the way that he's trapped inside his body.
If I didn't have dance, I don't...
You could...
The couch is comfortable, it's so late.
Oh no, I'm fine thank you.
And thank you for sharing your son with me.
Yeah.
Hey, are you okay?
I don't know why I'm crying.
No, it's been a hell of a stressful day.
No, it's not that.
It's just, well no one has ever been like you are
with Freddie, and...
It's okay.
Oh my God, I don't know why,
I just was...
Oh my God.
It goes so long.
I thought forget the passion ever existed.
Did you and mom have a sleepover?
- Uh hi. - Hi!
We did, like you and Kyle do sometimes.
How about some orange juice
and I'll make my special pancakes?
Can we have another one tonight
and we can all watch a movie?
You know what, I would love that
but right now I've gotta run.
Bye.
Oh bye.
So what's the deal with Rodney?
Are you jealous?
He's my uncle, my dad's brother.
That's how we ended up here.
Are you kidding me?
Oh my!
Okay, okay.
Better?
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, I need to tell you something.
Yeah?
Oh my God, we're gonna be late.
I'm sorry, I interrupted you.
You know what, never mind, it can wait.
You sure?
Yeah.
Have you ever tried these little pig navels?
They're really good.
I wanna try one.
Hi everyone, sorry we're late.
Better late than never.
Never late's better.
Max, these are the Pinchot's.
Yeah, we've all met.
Apparently?
Yeah, we're all practically family now.
Oh that's right.
Your cabins are only a few down from Colin's.
Yeah, maybe you should go.
This looks like a family thing.
Max, Max.
Max!
Don't be shy now.
Max, come have a seat.
I need you here with me.
I'd like to make a toast.
Oh yes.
To my beautiful daughter.
My loving, lovable, tightly wound,
complex daughter.
You're not as young as you used to be.
But you're not as old as you're gonna be.
Happy birthday, we love you!
Happy birthday.
Thanks dad.
Happy birthday.
That was terrible.
Oh thanks.
So, how do you all know each other?
Max goes fishing with us
and she's pretty good at chess, too.
And she tells crazy awesome stories.
That is fascinating.
You just make friends all over the place.
Max is more than just a friend, Miss Vivienne.
Max and mom are like Rodney and Cass.
You know, friends with benedicts.
Okay.
I beg your pardon?
That's not exact.
Make me feel pretty.
Well, cat's out of the bag.
Well who can blame me.
Here's to the young couple.
I'm getting in on that.
And when Max stays over tonight
we're all gonna watch a movie, right mom?
Yes.
Well happy fricking birthday mom.
I am not gonna let this happen.
I suggest that you leave, Agent DeRitter.
Agent what?
What are you talking about?
Your friend here, she's FBI.
She's been here spying on me
because of the upcoming hearings.
I've read her file, she's dangerous.
That's what she's doing.
That's not, that's not...
Vivienne, calm down.
I'm not gonna calm down.
She's been suspended.
She uses people.
Sam?
Mom?
She's always on the make.
You have to leave now!
- Mom! - Vivienne!
Calm down now.
Mom, it's starting.
I'm right here with you, you're safe.
Get me my bag.
I'm right here baby.
Freddie?
Okay.
Okay, okay, breathe in, breathe in.
It's okay baby.
Max.
Hey monkey man.
Max.
Hey monkey man.
I need to get him home.
Okay yeah, let's get him out of here.
Let's get him out of here.
Leave him alone.
I'm going to get going as well.
You couldn't just leave, could you?
I told you!
Hey, hey, hey,
please just call me and let me know how he is.
Move!
Sam!
I knew this was gonna happen.
She just couldn't listen.
Who are you?
And all this time I was protecting you
thinking Sasha was too hard on you.
I don't have time for whatever Sasha has fed you.
The truth, the truth, mom!
Before we become judge and jury
maybe you ought to listen to some facts here.
Or more tedious excuses.
Okay, both of you,
enough, sit down.
Go on Viv, I'll take care of this.
Go on.
Your mother didn't choose to cut you out of her life.
That was your father's decision.
He gave your mother chance after chance
but she just couldn't pull it together.
And then when you were two,
she passed out while you were in her care.
She quite literally lost you.
And then a neighbor spotted you
wandering down a busy street.
That was the last your mother ever saw of you.
So why are you telling me all this now?
'Cause of this counsel to your father's will.
I was directed to share this information with you
when you turned 25 or when you got pregnant.
He wanted you to meet your mother.
I don't understand.
So does that make her our sister?
Half sister.
And Freddie's our nephew.
Forgive me for staring.
I'm just trying to take you in.
That makes two of us.
Samantha, it's McKenzie.
Can you just call me?
It's me again, I'm sorry.
Can you please just call me.
I'm going crazy.
Your mother tried to do everything she could
to mend fences during Samantha's pregnancy.
They even began to forge a really nice relationship.
What happened?
Well things blew apart when Freddie was born.
I need you, I can't do this alone.
I want to honey.
I'm just not strong like you are.
We will never, ever come back from this.
I'm done.
Take me to the nearest bar.
Well she didn't hear from Samantha for seven years.
As Freddie grew older he began to ask if he had any family.
Is that why we feel so close to him?
Maybe.
Or maybe you just can't help but feel close to him.
Why mom, why didn't you tell us?
This really was up to Samantha to share with you.
After all she didn't have to make contact with me.
Whatever.
Sasha, I know that you wanna be angry with me
to cover up your hurt.
And yes, I have made such a mess of so many things.
I am trying, I really am.
And I can't even ask you to meet me halfway
because I know that I have to earn your trust back again
over time,
but right now I need to go and make sure that
Freddie and Samantha are okay.
Samantha, please just let me know that Freddie's okay.
I know you're upset, but I can explain.
And there's something I need to tell you.
But I can't do this over the phone.
Can you watch him?
What?
I need to run to the pharmacy to pick up
his seizure medication.
Oh sure.
Okay, I'll be right back.
Miss Vivienne?
Yes honey?
You and I have a lot in common.
How's that honey?
We only get one day at a time.
So we've gotta make each one count.
Your mother must have forgotten her keys.
I'll be right back, okay?
What are you doing here?
I thought I made myself perfectly clear.
What are you doing here?
I am here to help my daughter
and so help me God, you stay away from her.
What?
What are you talking about?
My daughter, Samantha.
I have just gotten her back into my life
and the last thing I am gonna let you do
is hurt her.
No, no, no way.
I am just building a relationship with her
and it would be destroyed if she finds out.
She has to know, Vivienne.
I'm not gonna lie to her now.
What the hell is going on here?
It's nothing.
We knew each other from years ago.
No, someone is gonna tell me what's going on.
It shouldn't have happened.
McKenzie?
I was drunk honey.
No, that's enough mom!
McKenzie?
We were lovers.
I want you both out.
- Sam. - Now.
I said now!
Sam, I am so sorry,
but I can't take this back.
It was 10 years ago.
Why her of all people?
Why didn't you say something?
It only lasted a week
and how could I know that she was your mother?
I was in D.C. for the Fallen Heroes Memorial
and we were both wasted and in so much pain.
Spare me, spare me.
I know pain, that's what this life is.
It's filled with pain.
It doesn't play fair.
It kicks you in the gut
but you don't have the luxury of self pity
or to go out and get wasted
because you have a sick child to take care of.
And every minute has to count
because it can all go away in a heartbeat.
Hey, look at me.
Look at me, please.
You don't have to be a rock every single day
and you don't have to do this alone.
Okay, you don't.
I don't know who I'm more in love with, you or your son.
But I swear to you.
What?
Swear to me what?
That I'm in this!
I'm in.
A thousand percent.
Today, maybe tomorrow.
You have no idea what it's like
to play with an expiration date.
Watching, watching the days go by
and the more days you get, all expired.
And you will simply expire along with it.
Stop now!
We can't afford the time
to see if you're telling the truth.
Especially with your track record.
So leave.
Please leave.
It was a year later
when McKenzie got the call.
Vivienne?
Thanks for agreeing to meet me.
I guess things didn't turn out the way
either one of us wanted.
So why am I here?
Because I needed to see your face
when I tell you how deeply sorry I am
for all the trouble I caused.
I just got my year's chip.
Hopefully this time it will take.
Good for you.
I moved us all permanently up to Lake Mervielle.
So that we could be near Samantha and Freddie.
That little boy.
If we all had one tenth the courage he has.
Sounds like one big happy family.
They need you McKenzie.
Dear Max,
gosh I've missed you crazy awful.
So does mom.
She may not say it out loud
but like I told you,
I can feel things.
I know things got a little messed up last fall.
And everyone made mistakes.
But I kind of think mistakes are like birthday candles.
The more you have to blow out
just means the wiser you've become.
Kind of like my mom's favorite word, Kintsukuroi.
We all got a little broken last year.
But from the broken we can become beautiful.
My mom says she's sorry she can't be here,
but have a great trip.
And you can't go without some full moon pie.
Hey, send postcards.
Oh yes and text from everywhere.
Max!
You ready for your first star venture?
Does a pole beat jilly bar?
I don't know.
Star venture numero uno!
12 incredible years passed.
And I watched their love grow stronger and more intimate
each day.
Not that there weren't challenging times
but they weathered them with grace and dignity.
In between the illnesses we all made sure
we lived each day like it might be our last.
Max now fully understood that making the simplest things
become special, was the secret to being
inside of life.
Not just a bystander.
I love you monkey man.
I loved her with everything in me.
We had a plan to convince mom to have another child.
Because I knew she would want that.
Because I know things.
If you could tell me that I could stay
a nesting doll forever,
bundled in my shell of handmade fairytale flesh,
I might consider staying.
But I have grown very tired.
I am full of peace.
And it's their time now.