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(WHOOSHING)
(BELL DINGING)
(LIGHT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)
(CLOCK TICKING)
Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org
(INTENSE MUSIC)
- Let me out, please! - Go in there!
- Wait for your mommy, okay? - Just let me out!
- Wait for your mommy! - BOBBY: Let me out!
- BULLY: No! - Why?
Are you gonna cry, Bobby?
Let me out, now! (BANGING)
- Are those tears, Bobby? - BOBBY: Let me out!
BULLY: He's crying real tears!
- Wait for your mom. - I'm gonna scream!
(SPITTING)
BULLY: Bobby.
BOBBY: No! (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
BULLY: I'll let you out.
CHILD: Scream for your mommy.
- Come on, scream, scream! - Let me out!
BULLY: Scream for your mommy!
(WHISTLING)
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh, that is not nice, boys.
(LAUGHING)
Here's Chain-Face.
Where could they be? (EERIE MUSIC)
Hi kid! (INTENSE MUSIC)
(LAUGHING) (SLASHING)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(SCREAMING) (THUDDING)
Ah, made in the USA.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Bobby.
(LAUGHING)
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC)
Chain-Face!
Chain-Face, come back!
- Chain-Face Clown. - Chain-Face!
Chain-Face Clown.
- Chain-Face! - Chain-Face Clown.
BOBBY: Chain-Face, come back!
(STEADY MUSIC)
♪ Don't wait, don't hold your breath ♪
♪ You're rolling like a locomotive, feel impressed ♪
♪ You never met a girl like me in your life ♪
♪ I'll make you change your mind ♪
♪ You never met a girl like me before ♪
♪ You never met a girl like... ♪
♪ Look at the time... ♪
Hey everybody, welcome back to the Pete O'Shea Show
right here for you on the Choice Radio Network.
I'm your buddy Pete.
Hey, and the good news, the intervention worked, everybody.
Yes, the beard dandruff is down significantly.
I know everybody's excited about that.
I was doing a snow globe yesterday.
But whatever, that's here nor there
because I'm excited right now, alright?
I just turned into Regis!
Jonathan Blaklee is her.
Star of the cult classic "Chain-Face CloWn."
You guys remember it.
It was one of the all-time classics, out in 1985.
Well guess what.
The Blu-Ray rerelease is now.
Hey, if you're in the Clearwater area today,
you have got to make it over to Emerald City Comics,
'cause Jonathan a Peter are gonna be
signing "Chain-Face Clown," the Blu-Ray rerelease.
Go see him today!
This is one of the all-time classic horror films,
and you're in it.
How does that make you feel?
You know at the time we had no idea
it was gonna be the movie that it is today.
It's a classic.
If you're a fan, I know you are,
stop everything you're doing.
You're gonna kill yourself if you don't go today.
Oh, sorry, I probably should have said kill them.
- No. - But whatever.
You know what I mean.
They need to go see you today, Jonathan.
They definitely do.
I've really been looking forward
to meeting all my fans.
Alright everybody, we'll take a break.
We'll be back with more of the Pete O'Shea Show
right after this, don't go anywhere.
Right here on The Choice Radio Network.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
I love Chain-Face Clown.
I love your movie. (PEOPLE CHATTERING)
- Okay thanks so much. - Thank you.
Thanks for making it here.
I loved you in the movie.
What's your name, what's your name?
Have you seen "Chain-Face Clown?"
- Mm-hmm. - Really, did it scare you?
Not really.
You were awesome in this movie.
- Oh, thank you so much. - What are you doing?
Are you doing any more movies?
Well, I'm moving behind the camera now.
I'm not really acting anymore.
Hi, Peter.
Hello gorgeous.
I love to see the "Chain-Face Clown."
Oh my God, yeah.
Thank you, Peter.
You're the most welcome.
- God I love my fans. - WOMAN: Let's go.
Dude, this is how it works here.
They come to the show to sleep
with their favorite horror star.
Which is you.
They expect you to screw their brains out.
- What's your name? - Dave.
To Dave.
And do you want me to say anything in particular?
Oh, die.
Die.
I can do that.
(CHUCKLING)
- Here you go. - DAVE: Thanks.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) (CHATTERING ON TV)
(GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Hey buddy!
- Hey. - I need your room, man.
Peter, you have your own room.
No man, my wife, man.
I can't go into it.
Come on, man.
Woo! (LAUGHING)
Yeah!
(DOOR SLAMMING)
(JAZZY MUSIC)
They served us a really good lunch,
and I met a lot of the fans,
and they seemed to be really into the movie.
Yeah, it was alright.
Don't lie, you love having your fans fawn over you.
Okay I admit. (ELEVATOR DINGING)
It was kind of awesome.
Actually seeing everyone there.
And you know, it was like total ego food.
See, aren't you glad you went?
You know, maybe I'll go to another one again.
I'd really like that, if they want me.
Are you back at the hotel?
How would you know that?
'Cause I can see where you are on my phone.
That's so big brother of you.
It's modern technology, babe.
Okay, I feel good knowing where you are.
Oh I'm sure you do.
Hey, you know, could I call you back tonight?
Yeah, sure.
Alright, bye.
Hey.
Weren't you at the "Chain-Face Clown" signing?
Yeah.
Are you a fan of the movie?
No, no, I didn't see it.
I thought I saw you there,
and I was the star of the movie.
I'm Jonathan Blaklee.
What's your name?
My name's Emily.
Well nice to meet you.
Good to meet you.
Well, I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing.
Do you want to like, hang out later or something?
Well, I'm supposed to go meet my friends.
We're all going to the 49th Street Pub.
And it's like this really cool chill bar.
Cool, you know, so.
Can I give you a call or something,
and we could like make plans?
Well, maybe I'll see you later,
but I have to go now 'cause they're waiting for me.
Well what's your number?
I can give you a call.
We can hang out, we could get a bottle of wine.
Okay, bye.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
(BALLS CLINKING)
♪ Well you told me you're free ♪
♪ And lovely ♪
Hey there.
Hi.
What can I do for you?
Have you seen a girl?
She has blonde hair, she's around this high.
She has these really big brown eyes.
Yeah, you pretty much just described
every woman in St. Pete.
(LAUGHING)
I'll keep a lookout for her.
- How you doing? - What's up man?
Yeah.
Can I get a glass of your house red?
House red, you've got it.
Thank you.
♪ So we can just wait and see ♪
♪ Where acceptance, ain't you playing ♪
♪ You're already loaded and ready to go ♪
♪ When you said you were in trouble ♪
Hey there.
I didn't think you were gonna like show up.
I never took you for a red wine kind of guy.
I love red wine.
Good wines, you know.
Yeah, so you like frou frou drinks, I get it.
- No. - Maybe a banana daiquiri
is next on the menu.
No, I'm not really into anything that sweet.
So, you don't like sweet things?
Well not super like sugary sweet kind of things.
Oh, so your girlfriend isn't sweet?
Well, I mean, she's my fiancee.
But not lovey dovey sweet where she wants
to cuddle and spoon all night.
I mean, not everyone likes to cuddle.
She probably wears PJs too.
Not all the time.
Well, I definitely am a cuddler,
and I always sleep in the buff.
Underwear is just too constricting.
I think so too.
I don't like underwear at all.
You know, you're not really good at this whole thing.
What's that?
When a girl says she doesn't wear undergarments,
that's a cue she's interested in you.
Are you interested in me?
I'm gonna get us some frou frou drinks.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Let me show you how you have to do it.
Okay.
Nice try.
Thank you.
You know, you know what I just can't believe?
Hm?
That you have never seen "Chain-Face Clown."
It's not like I don't like horror films or anything.
They just don't do anything for me.
Come on, can you just see it once for me?
Oh, you look disappointed.
No, I'm just really surprised you've never seen my film.
- Really? - Yeah.
Everyone's seen it.
It's like a classic.
It's a really good one.
I mean, it's old, but it really stands up.
- It really does. - Look.
I will see tour de force "Chain-Face Clown"
if you promise me one thing.
Okay what's that?
Just extend your stay a couple days.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I really have, I have to get back to LA.
I have my ticket, and no, well, no.
♪ Never falter ♪
♪ I fall into your embrace ♪
No, no.
♪ Nothing left for us to say ♪
♪ Lost in this adventure ♪
God, I'm so bad at this pickup thing.
Is that what you were trying to do?
I have a fiancee.
You just don't really love her,
because if you did,
you'd just run off to Las Vegas and get married.
No, I do love her.
I love her very much, and uh huh, yeah.
So again, why are you dancing with me?
I don't know.
I just thought we could have fun together.
Fun, fun shmun.
Yeah, it's fun.
We're having a really good time.
Fun.
You're so fun.
You're fun too.
- You're really fun actually. - You're fun.
I could dance here all night.
The whole night, all night long.
Can we just stay at this bar?
- Yes. - Until I have to leave
on a plane tomorrow.
No, but you're gonna stay, right?
- Remember, you're gonna stay. - I wish I could stay.
♪ We got all night long ♪
♪ Longer than it'll ever be, oh ♪
♪ Love me all night long ♪
That was amazing.
That's right.
♪ We got all night long ♪
♪ Longer than it'll ever be, oh ♪
♪ Love me all night long ♪
(WHOOSHING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
- Hey gorgeous. - Hey.
Wasn't that so fun?
It was.
What time is it?
I don't know.
I gotta get going.
I'm not done with you yet.
(LAUGHING)
Not at all.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
(EERIE MUSIC)
There's a tattoo of my face on your leg.
Yeah, it's my Bobby Hader Chain-Face tat.
I'm gonna get another one right here.
Is this some kind of prank?
No, it's not a prank at all.
It's a real tat.
Are you freaked out?
I really have to get going.
And my plane leaves in like two hours.
Are you freaked out?
No, no no, I'm fine.
Did anyone ever tell you you have one cute ass?
Yeah, can you give me a lift back to the hotel?
First, I have to make you breakfast, Emily's breakfast.
I'm really not a breakfast kind of guy, actually.
But breakfast is the most important meal, so.
I really just need a lift back,
and I'd really appreciate it if you could do it, okay.
Oh yeah.
(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
This song is hot!
- Yeah. - Oh yeah, woo!
It's the tat, right?
No, it's not the tat.
It's the tat, I knew it was the tat.
- No no. - Let's dance.
- Yeah. - Woo!
Come on, woo-ha.
Woo, round two!
I just need a lift back to the hotel.
Round three!
Okay, I'm gonna head on out, alright, okay okay?
Uh huh.
I've been planning on meeting you for the last year,
ever since they announced the DVD signing back in August.
I just knew we would hang out.
And it was even better than I could have ever imagined.
I mean, you and I were just so good together.
I was like I finally met my soul mate.
It had to have been kismet.
I mean, have you ever dreamt about something,
and then it comes true?
Well that's what happened with me and you.
I mean, I don't know if there's anyone in the world
out there that's meant to be for me
because you and I had such a special connection.
It was so good, and to deny that
is to deny us, and to deny everything.
I mean, didn't you feel the same way?
Yeah, we had a great time.
Is that all it was to you, a great time?
It was fun.
And and...
And what?
And we should just keep in touch online.
After what we shared?
Jonathan, I thought you were different.
You're not a typical ex-child actor fuck up.
You have depth.
Can you drive me back to the hotel?
Please?
Okay, I will, but I want you to promise me one thing
'cause I've been waiting a really long time
for this moment.
Can you just sign something for me?
Sure.
- Okay. - Okay.
Great.
I'll go get it, don't go anywhere.
(DISTANT SINGING)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(BUZZING) (YELLING)
(ZAPPING)
Jonathan.
Hi Jonathan.
Where, where am I right now?
How's your head, sweetie?
- It's okay. - Emily, Emily.
EMILY: Yes, it's okay.
Emily, Emily, what's going on?
What are you, what are you doing?
Oh no, sorry.
I can't have you making phone calls.
It's not good for both of us.
Emily, give me the phone right now.
You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Open up this fucking lock.
- Open up this fucking lock now! - Jonathan.
- Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan! - Help, help, help!
You bitch, you let me out of here now!
I'm gonna let that one go.
I know this is all very sudden.
I'm warning you!
If you don't let me out of here, I'm warning you!
- Emily, Emily! - Shut up Jonathan!
- I'm warning you!
- Jonathan, Jonathan!
- Jonathan! - I'm warning you, Emily!
- Jonathan! - Oh no!
- Emily, Emily, stop! - Jonathan,
let's get one thing straight here.
Your life can be very miserable, or very nice.
And it's up to you to decide.
Listen to me.
This little tantrum is doing nothing.
You and I, we're gonna finally get to know each other here.
It's peaceful and quiet, and is your new home.
Do you want to know what the best part is?
We have our very own 1952 Plymouth Cranbrook.
One day, we're gonna get married,
and we're gonna drive by the water,
and it's gonna be so wonderful.
Emily, I just want to go home.
We are home.
Home is where the heart is.
And this is the key to my heart.
Everywhere I go, I can think of you and your movie.
I forgot, I have a present for you.
It's gonna turn your frown into a smile.
- Open it up. - What is it?
Open it Jonathan.
It's the exact same thing you wore in Chain-Face.
Maybe just a little bit bigger.
You're gonna look so handsome in it.
Emily, I don't want to do this.
Jonathan! (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Put on the shirt!
Put it on.
- Emily, listen to me. - Jonathan, I don't care.
This is crazy, this is crazy.
- Take off your shirt. - No no no, this is crazy!
- Put the shirt on. - This is crazy!
I want to see you put on this "Chain-Face Clown" shirt!
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) (LIGHT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(HARMONICA MUSIC)
(DOOR SLAMMING)
Well hello there.
You're Peter Norvis, star of "Chain-Face Clown."
How may I be of service?
I made you my very own cake.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
Ooh.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Peter do you like your cake? (ECHOING)
Mm, do you like your cake?
Are you enjoying your cake?
(DOOR SHUTTING)
(STEADY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(ZIPPING)
(EERIE MUSIC)
(YELLING) (INTENSE MUSIC)
You're a liar and this is what you get for lying.
(YELLING)
You're not the real Chain-Face.
(YELLING)
Chain-Face would never do this to Jonathan.
Chain-Face loved Jonathan,
and Jonathan needs to love me and will love me!
(YELLING)
(GENTLE MUSIC)
Jonathan.
I've read all of your articles.
There was the article in Starstruck Magazine,
"Where Are They Now?"
And you said, and I quote,
"I value the little things in life.
"Because those are the things that are most important."
That rings so true to me, Jonathan.
But the way you're acting,
doesn't seem like you.
So either you're lying, or I don't understand.
Am I wrong, Jonathan, am I?
No.
Good.
Because I value the little things in life, too.
Like how was your day?
I'm willing to bet that one day
we'll laugh about this in years.
This is my favorite picture of you.
It gives me chills.
Were you scared when you shot this?
Emily, people are gonna know I'm missing.
What people?
My friends.
I am the only one that treasures you, Jonathan.
My fiancee's gonna know I'm gone.
Oh yeah, but she'll probably just think
you ran off with someone like most ex-child actors do.
It's getting late, sweetheart.
So I'm beat.
I'll see you tomorrow.
If you let me go,
I won't tell anyone about what happened, okay?
- Just let me go. - Jonathan,
it's getting so late.
And I'll be back tomorrow.
And we will have a lifetime to get
- to know each other. - Emily, Emily.
EMILY: And to talk about everything.
Emily, let's just talk about this, Emily.
EMILY: I'm gonna take my diamonds together.
Goodnight, Jonathan.
Sleep tight.
Emily, Emily, Emily!
Emily!
EMILY: I've gotta go see Peter now.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
(SINGING)
Hello, did you find everything okay?
I did!
I am gonna make dinner for my boyfriend and I,
and we're gonna watch "Chain-Face Clown."
Oh, what's "Chain-Face?"
You don't know what "Chain-Face Clown" is?
You don't know what "Chain-Face Clown" the movie is?
"Chain-Face Clown" is the number one
horror movie of all time.
It was made in 1985 with Jonathan Blaklee and Peter Norvis.
You don't know what "Chain-Face Clown" is?
How do you not know what "Chain-Face Clown" is?
Why aren't you answering me? (ECHOING)
What is wrong with you?
Answer me! (CASH REGISTER BEEPING)
How do you now know who "Chain-Face Clown" is?
How do you not know who Jonathan Blaklee is?
How do you not know who Peter Norvis is?
Your total is $30.28.
This is the worst day.
(YELLING)
Jonathan and I have a romantic date tonight.
And you're invited.
You're the main course.
(YELLING)
(SIZZLING)
With this being our first night living together,
I wanted it to be special. (GENTLE MUSIC)
So I made your favorite dish, chicken piccata.
And I got us a bottle of red wine.
That's what you said you wanted
when you texted Michelle.
You have to try Emily's chicken piccata.
It's the first time I made it, so I hope you like it.
And I even made the sauce from scratch.
Take a bite, tell me what you think.
Try it.
Do you like it?
Just be honest.
It's very good.
(WEEPING) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
I'm so sorry.
Emily, it's very good.
- You hate it. - No, I don't hate it.
Jonathan, you hate my chicken piccata.
I really like it. (SLAMMING)
Jonathan, you're being very rude.
We have to figure this out if this is gonna work.
And until you can find it within yourself
to show me some respect,
I'm not gonna show you any either.
(EERIE MUSIC)
I'm gonna give you some time to think about your actions.
Because as my ninth grade physics teacher once told me.
(YELLING)
For every action there's a reaction.
(YELLING)
(FROGS CROAKING)
(INTENSE MUSIC)
(YELLING) (WHOOSHING)
Can you see me, Peter?
I can see you. (ECHOING)
(CHAINS RATTLING)
(CHIPPING)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(GENTLE MUSIC)
(LAUGHING)
Are you awake?
(CLICKING)
I've been thinking about our fight last night.
I couldn't sleep.
Couples bicker all the time, right?
And then they work things out.
Are you mad at me?
No I'm not mad.
Emily, could you just let me out?
I don't think that that's a good idea right now.
Well how long do I have to wait?
It's not up to me, it's up to you.
I promise I won't leave.
Please don't lie to me.
I'd rather you just call me a fucking bitch.
I know that's what you're thinking, so just tell me it.
Just say it, it'll make you feel so much better.
Emily, you're a bitch.
I don't believe it, mean it.
Emily, you're a bitch and I hate you.
Say it like you're gonna give
an Academy Award performance.
Emily, you're a bitch and I hate you!
I believed that.
In due time, our love will make everything better.
So let's not go to sleep upset.
Tomorrow is a new day.
And I love you.
Goodnight, Prince Charming.
Sleep well.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(GENTLE MUSIC)
Guess what!
It's Thursday fun day.
And I have some fun stuff for us today.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
We are going to do a read-along from "Chain-Face Clown."
Your movie.
You're gonna get to read your part,
and I'm gonna read everybody else.
Jonathan, doesn't that sound fun?
Yeah, yeah it's fun.
Fade in. (STEADY MUSIC)
The sun burns red over the suburban neighborhood
of Clarksville, Illinois.
Riding his bike on the manicured tree-lined street
is Bobby Hader.
Hader, 11 years old, cuter than cute.
He cruises up past the postman and waves.
He pedals up to an old person home,
the last of its kind in an encroaching suburban sprawl.
He quickly steps off his bike.
Bobby walks to the front door of Mr. Parker
and knocks on the door. (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
A moment passes and the front door opens,
revealing the kind face of Mr. Parker, Bobby's neighbor.
That's your line, Jonathan.
My mom made some macadamia nut cookies for you.
Say it like you mean it.
My mom made some macadamia nut cookies for you.
Thanks Bobby, you know how much I love those cookies.
Jonathan!
Oh.
Well, I gotta go.
See ya later.
Bobby races through the neighborhood.
He makes his way to the front
of an old, abandoned home that looks like
no one has lived there for some time.
He skids to a stop in the front of the foreboding house.
Bobby stares up at the house.
Paint peels from the shingles
and the once magnificent property.
He nervously gets off his bike.
He will prove to everyone that he is not afraid
to enter the cursed mansion.
Bobby walks slowly inside the house
and takes a look around.
The house walls are covered with scary cobwebs,
and the roof is falling in.
The floor creaks with every step.
He climbs the staircase, heading upstairs.
Bobby hides in the old oak tree in the backyard.
Then, Chain-Face, with his trademark hatchet,
marches around the side of the house.
The grisly killer (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
looks in the window of the home,
knowing his next victim is just inside the house.
Bobby will be spared.
Covered in blood and dirt,
Bobby lifts himself out of the ditch
and shakes himself off.
He is one tough kid.
Bobby is not afraid.
He is now almost content.
Maybe for the first time in his life.
Could it be that Chain-Face is really gone?
Almost in a trance, Bobby ponders the future.
This is a night Bobby will never forget.
And it will haunt him for the rest of his days.
Bobby's mother spots her son sitting almost comatose
on the cold Earth in front of the house.
Bobby stares at the rubber clown ball
that was once Chain-Face's prized possession.
Chain-Face must have left it as a gift for Bobby.
It is all over now, honey.
It is now over.
As the mother and son embrace,
we fade to black.
The end. (MAJESTIC MUSIC)
You did so good!
You still have it in you!
Thank you.
EMILY: Have you ever considered acting again?
I just kind of, I don't do that anymore.
You should be acting again,
'cause you were so much better than
- all of those reality stars. - Would you stop this?
We don't have to go on with this anymore, okay?
EMILY: Jonathan, I want you to scream.
You want me to scream?
Yes.
Jonathan, scream!
Scream, baby!
(YELLING)
I'm telling you, scream, now, for, me.
(YELLING)
Scream!
(YELLING)
Scream! (YELLING DRAMATICALLY)
Yeah, yeah!
Ah.
So blissful.
I did something and I hope you're not mad.
I had a long text message chat with Michelle.
What did you text?
Well, I don't want to bore you
with the mundane details.
But basically I told her that you broke up with her,
and then you found someone else,
and you really love them.
That was the gist of it.
She'd never believe it's me.
I thought of that.
And she needed proof.
That's why I sent her this.
I hid a camera in the room that night.
I hope you're not mad at me for it.
I just wanted something to remember our night by.
By the way, you look super hot.
(MOANING)
Now Michelle knows what real love looks like.
Oh and by the way, I looked at her Facebook profile.
And she's boring.
Super boring.
You need someone fun and exciting and sexy, Jonathan.
You're really crazy. (UPBEAT MUSIC)
Aren't all artists a little crazy?
Right now you're being eaten up in this film business.
I think I can be there to guide you and protect you.
I'm going to be gone until tomorrow.
But don't worry.
All will be well in the universe soon enough.
I want to leave you with some company.
♪ See through screen shows everything and nothing ♪
(EERIE MUSIC)
Bye sweet boy. (OMINOUS MUSIC)
(CHIPPING)
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
(CHIPPING)
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
(HORN HONKING)
(DOOR CLICKING)
Here I am.
Did you miss me?
I come bearing gifts.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(MUFFLED MUMBLING)
Behold!
- Alan Goodman. - What the fuck is this?
And David Christensen.
Hey freak.
For your viewing pleasure.
Emily, you have to let them go.
I did good, right?
Emily.
Gentlemen, I'll be right back.
Please don't go anywhere.
Oh that's right, I guess you can't.
(MUFFLED MUMBLING)
Emily, Emily, you've got to let them go!
Emily! (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(GRUMBLING)
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
No, I'm telling you.
I can't promise you that me and Alan
can get this thing out of turn-around.
But I've seen him ecstatic on some projects,
and everything he likes, he makes it happen.
I can't tell you how. (PHONE BUZZING)
Jonathan?
♪ Slamming all of your brakes when your world is pain ♪
♪ Take or carry or send ♪
♪ You can never go back ♪
♪ You're ahead, I'm a little behind ♪
♪ You're a little dead, I'm a little alive ♪
♪ You're a little afraid ♪
♪ Fear is a high of life ♪
♪ Don't lose your way ♪
♪ Go save your safe life ♪
♪ Fear is a high mind ♪
♪ Going to wait ♪
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(MUFFLED MUMBLING)
(LAUGHING)
Emily, you can't do this!
Emily, Emily!
Ah, what the fuck is going on?
These two guys thought I was gonna
perform some oral pleasure.
But as you can see, you guys were wrong, right?
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(DOOR SHUTTING)
So which one of you hot dogs want to go first?
Oh yeah.
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
(WHOOSHING)
You tell this fucking crazy bitch
to get us the fuck out of here!
Or what?
When I get out of here, I'm gonna kick your ass,
and then I'm gonna kick yours.
You actually liked working for this guy?
Jonathan.
Good morning, Alan. (PHONE RINGING)
Good morning.
Did you have a chance to look at my pages I sent you?
I did, I did have a chance to look at this.
And, what the fuck is this?
What the fuck is it?
I said to write a fucking horror movie!
This isn't a horror movie, it's a giant pile of garbage!
I don't know what the fuck it is.
Is it a comedy, is it a drama?
I don't fucking know!
Tell me what it is!
It was a horror.
I mean, I followed all your notes.
It has all the tropes of a horror film.
Shut up, just shut up!
Shut up!
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna hire my five year old son
to write this fucking thing.
Because he can write circles around you Jonathan.
I just was trying to follow all your notes on it.
You told me in that note that...
Oh, no, no, shut up for a second.
Shut up for a second.
I tried to add...
Learn to fucking write!
Jesus Christ!
I really thought I was giving you
everything that you wanted.
I was think...
You think, you think.
See that's the fucking problem.
You're thinking again.
Holy shit, I made a huge mistake
giving you another chance.
I'm Jonathan Blaklee.
I was in a movie when I was a baby.
I was a big fucking movie star,
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
You're fucking washed up!
It's a good God damn thing
you were in a big movie when you were a kid,
'cause that's the last God damn good work you've ever done.
Alan, if you give me another chance,
I really think I know what you want.
I'll tell you what I want.
Jonathan, Jonathan, I want a good fucking story!
I want a good fucking script!
I want to be able to film something that's good!
I have an idea, wait, wait.
Wait.
Oh my God, I have an idea.
Jonathan, listen, okay.
You're gonna get out a piece of paper,
and you're gonna write on the piece of paper
like a thousand times,
"I am washed up, I'm out of work, I suck."
A thousand times.
Can you do that for me?
You're firing me?
(LAUGHING)
(CLAPPING)
Now you're getting it!
Yes, you're fired!
Oh.
Alan.
I just want to do one more draft for you,
and I know we can nail it down.
I'm sorry, who's that talking?
Who's speaking?
Can you hear me?
Oh you?
I'm sorry, I don't recognize you,
because you don't work for me anymore!
Alan.
(WHOOSHING)
Jonathan. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Tell her to let us go please.
No more clowning around!
It's dying time! (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
(SPLATTERING)
(LAUGHING) (YELLING)
What are you doing?
Emily, Emily!
Emily, Emily, stop it!
Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily!
♪ Boys have to clean up ♪
♪ It's not the salt in my pepper ♪
♪ I don't want the sound back ♪
♪ I don't need you to love me better ♪
♪ I'm trying to get a silver back ♪
♪ These drops cut deep in my shoulder ♪
Tell her to fucking stop.
We've been friends forever and I apologize
if I caused anything that might have hurt us.
Hear me out, please.
I don't want to talk to you anymore.
I want you out of my life.
- At least hear me out. - I don't want
to deal with you.
Okay, I'm gonna hear you out,
then you're getting the fuck out of here, okay?
- Okay, okay. - Okay talk.
Picture this.
You are an ex-child star.
Of the "Chain-Face Clown" series.
You're looking for a comeback.
"Chain-Face Clown" was done 30 years ago.
- And... - Get the fuck out of here.
We could all be making money again.
- Come on, man. - I don't have any
money for you guys.
You guys are assholes.
I apologize for having caused
anything that might have hurt us.
Please know that.
See that was a heartfelt thing,
but as they say, too little, too late.
(YELLING) (LAUGHING)
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
♪ Just gave you a 500 call back black ♪
(LAUGHING)
That was my favorite death in the movie.
(EERIE MUSIC) (LAUGHING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) (UPBEAT MUSIC)
♪ You got a flaw, you've got a disease ♪
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Chain-Face is hot, and so are you.
Honey, you think I did an awful thing,
but I did the world a favor.
No, no, you were right to do what you did.
You probably think I'm a monster.
No, I don't.
Jonathan, I see it in your eyes.
You don't like what I did.
Couples don't always see eye to eye on everything.
We'll just have to agree to disagree.
I know, I get it, they were jerks.
Right?
You know, I've never seen David
- so scared in his life. - I know.
He was trembling.
It was basically laugh-out-loud funny.
(LAUGHING)
I was thinking of burning them alive with gasoline.
Then I realized, it probably would make too much of a mess.
So, I decided to go this route.
You definitely made the right choice.
I think so too, clean and easy.
In the morning, I'm going to plant
those two dweebs as carnations.
Finally they'll give back something to the world.
Even if it's just as fertilizer.
You know, did you ever think we should plant roses?
Roses are so hard to grow year round,
but if that's what you'd like,
I'll do what you prefer.
You ask me nicely for anything, and I'll deliver.
JONATHAN: Thank you Emily.
(EMILY YAWNING)
It's been a long day.
Goodnight, my sweet boy.
I'll see you in the morning.
When you're done cleaning up, you can go to sleep.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
This is where you belong.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Jonathan.
I have a feeling you're hiding something from me.
Do you promise me that you will
tell me everything, Jonathan?
Because I want this to be a healthy relationship, don't you?
We do have a healthy relationship.
You know Emily, I'm so glad I met you.
And I got to know you.
I love you so much.
You're wonderful, do you really know that?
You know what would be amazing?
If you and I could write a prequel
to "Chain-Face Clown"
to show how that killer came to life.
Let's just do it!
Jonathan, that would be the most amazing thing
in the world for me.
People wouldn't even believe
that I was working on this with you.
We could write it as a team.
This would be the best day of my life
if we could write a script together.
Not only could we write it together,
we could make it and shoot it,
and we'll show it to the whole world.
Jonathan, this is amazing.
You know so much about "Chain-Face Clown"
that you'd be the perfect person to write it with.
This is music to my ears.
I can't believe you're telling me this.
Jonathan, I'm falling for you even more.
Thank you for being you. (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
♪ Sitting on a fallen season ♪
♪ With a passion ♪
♪ I don't ever let it go ♪
♪ Another day another reason ♪
♪ Another fashion ♪
♪ I'm running through another hole ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Baby wow you're always a sight to see ♪
♪ 'Cause you're another animal ♪
♪ Another animal like me ♪
♪ You're hard to see ♪
♪ 'Cause you're another animal ♪
And Harold, using all his might,
shoves the clown creature down to the well.
He disappears for all good.
Harold rolls on his side and takes a sigh of relief.
(SIGHING)
Fade out, the end.
Awesome job, partner.
Not too shabby for my first screenplay, huh?
Yep, it's pretty damn good.
I'm really excited about this.
You know something?
I am too.
Are you still mad at me for all this?
No.
Well, maybe a little.
At first I was a little upset,
but we did something kind of magical.
You think so?
Yeah, I really do.
It's definitely worth it.
Look what we accomplished.
It was brilliant.
It's like a movie within a movie.
Mm-hmm.
What's the term for that again?
Self-reflexive.
Yes, self-reflexive.
Ooh, I feel so professional using that term.
Can I confess something to you?
Yeah, sure.
I liked you because you were a movie star,
but now, I have fallen for the true Jonathan.
You know something, I like you too.
Do you think you can ever forgive me for all of this?
It's not so bad.
You know, and I totally get it.
You do?
I do.
I mean, we all do crazy things in life sometimes.
I just feel so guilty.
So guilty.
Don't.
I've really enjoyed working with you.
Me too.
Most people think I'm a freak,
but you really get me.
It's like we were made from the same cloth, Jonathan.
Yeah we are.
It's my birthday, and I made something special for you.
It's kind of finishing our script
and birthday present from me to you.
What is it?
You'll have to open it and find out.
You're so sweet.
Thank you.
Oh my God, I love it.
You love it?
Yes, I do.
Tell me you like it again.
I love it.
I wish I could bottle up this moment
and keep it forever.
Jonathan, I'm gonna sleep so great tonight.
See you in the morning.
Sleep well.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(FLIES BUZZING)
(EERIE MUSIC)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(CHIPPING)
Yes, Jonathan Blaklee.
I will be your wife.
Oh, look at that ring you got me.
Of course I'll marry you.
Mm, Chain-Face and Jonathan are going to love this.
Maybe I should dress up as Chain-Face Clown
while we eat this cake together.
(CHAIN CLINKING)
(PANTING)
(OVEN BEEPING)
(GRUNTING)
(INTENSE MUSIC)
Jonathan!
(GRUNTING)
Bitch!
(LAUGHING) (CHOKING)
Bitch.
(GENTLE EERIE MUSIC)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
You can't do this Jonathan.
I just did, and it feels pretty fucking damn good.
Is this some sort of sick joke?
Let me go, Jonathan!
Would you have ever let me leave?
Of course I would, I love you.
Yeah, yeah, when was that gonna happen?
Soon.
I just needed to know that you were
gonna stay with me, Jonathan.
You're sick in the head!
What the fuck were you thinking?
Did you ever think I was gonna fall in love with you?
Did you ever think anyone could fall in love with you?
A maniac like you doesn't even know what love is!
I love you, I really do.
Apologize to me for everything you did.
I won't.
You will, you're gonna apologize.
Apologize to me!
I'm only sorry for loving you so much.
No no no, you're going to apologize.
I want you to say, you know,
I'm fucked in the head, Jonathan.
And I'm sorry for everything you did to me.
It's not gonna happen ever, 'cause it's not true!
It's not true!
Say it, say it, say it!
It's not true.
You're acting crazy, Jonathan.
I'm not the one who's certifiable.
You're crazy, Jonathan.
You have to calm down.
I don't have to do anything.
Jonathan, we need to talk about this
like two grown adults.
You know, I'm gonna let you sit there for a while,
you know, and then I'm gonna call the police,
and you can think of everything
that's gonna happen to you
when you're in prison for the rest of your life.
I'm not listening to you, Jonathan.
I'm not listening to you.
Will you stop using my name
at the end of every sentence?
That is your name, and I like the way it sounds.
What is it with you?
Stop being silly, you silly head.
I hate you, I hate you so much!
Don't you fucking get it?
You're so adorable when you're mad.
I can see why you got the part in "Chain-Face Clown."
Your eyes just bulge out.
You're not acting rational, Jonathan.
I told you to stop using my name!
Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan,
Jonathan, Jonathan! (YELLING)
You fucking bitch, you're gonna rot in hell!
What did you do, bitch? (EMILY LAUGHING)
Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter!
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Peter, Peter, Peter where are you?
Peter where are you?
Peter!
Where are you?
Where is she?
Where did she put you?
Peter, talk to me, Peter!
Do you hear me?
Where could they be? (INTENSE MUSIC)
- Peter, Peter! - CLOWN: Here's Chain-Face.
(YELLING)
Hi Jack! (ZAPPING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) (OMINOUS MUSIC)
(WEEPING)
(SCREAMING)
(RIPPING)
Jonathan.
Jonathan, why?
Why, why? (LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(SPITTING)
(GENTLE MUSIC)
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(DOOR RATTLING)
(KNOCKING)
Hello, can I help you?
I'm looking for Jonathan.
Sorry, who are you?
I'm Michelle, his fiancee.
Yes, he told me about you.
If he's here, I'd really like to talk to him.
He doesn't want to talk to you.
I want to talk to Jonathan.
Don't you get it?
He doesn't want to be with you anymore.
He never loved you.
He loves me, and we're gonna get married.
He didn't tell you?
No, he didn't.
It just hasn't been officially announced yet.
I want to talk to Jonathan, is he here?
He doesn't want to be with you!
He wants to be with me.
- We're engaged. - Jonathan!
Jonathan, I want to talk to you!
If you don't leave,
- I'm gonna call the cops. - Jonathan!
(DOOR SLAMMING)
Jonathan!
Jonathan, where are you?
Jonathan, can you hear me?
Jonathan!
Jonathan, where are you?
Jonathan!
Michelle, Michelle, Michelle!
Jonathan, can you hear me?
Jonathan!
Michelle, I'm down here!
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
Michelle, Michelle, I'm in here!
Michelle!
Michelle, Michelle!
Michelle!
(VOICES DROWNED BY LOUD MUSIC)
No no no, no.
No, you gotta call the police right now.
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
Call them now.
Michelle, Michelle, Michelle! (CLOWN LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(STABBING)
Michelle!
Goodbye, Michelle. (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
You're going to starve here, Jonathan.
This is where you die.
Goodbye, Jonathan.
Emily, Emily, Emily!
- Nathan! - Emily!
- Emily, Emily! - Nathan, Nathan!
- Emily, Emily, Emily! - Nathan, Nathan, Nathan!
JONATHAN: Emily, Emily! (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Please come back, please come back.
Please, Emily.
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.
(YELLING DROWNED BY MUSIC)
You're so precious.
If your daddy could see you from heaven,
he'd say how handsome you are.
And one day, you're going to act in big movies.
You're gonna be a star just like your daddy was.
And then we can do a remake of "Chain-Face Clown."
Would you like that?
Of course you would.
'Cause you're my little star. (STEADY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)
(EERIE CREAKING)
(STEADY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
This is Chain-Face, and this is me.
Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org
(GENTLE EERIE MUSIC)
(DRIVING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
♪ I got the monkey on my back ♪
♪ You just gave him a 500 pound backlash ♪
♪ Oh honey it was fun for a moment ♪
♪ Then my gears ground down from knowing you ♪
♪ Said he worked with his monkey on my shoulder ♪
♪ Rain in my summer, fire in my cooler ♪
♪ Boys have to cling back ♪
♪ It's not the salt in my pepper ♪
♪ I don't want the sounds back ♪
♪ I don't need you more than ever ♪
♪ I'm counting in a sealed bag ♪
♪ The stripes cut deep in my shoulder ♪
♪ Why you never curse me ♪
♪ I don't need you more than ever ♪
♪ You, I have the monkey on my back ♪
♪ You, just gave him a 500 pound backlash ♪
♪ Ooh girl it was a blast from a shotgun ♪
♪ Some dreams until you're having fun ♪
♪ It's heavy going with this weight on my shoulder ♪
♪ Rain in my Summer, fire in my cooler ♪