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1
00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:39,985
That wasn't a store robbery.
2
00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:42,087
That was an assassination.
3
00:01:42,089 --> 00:01:45,323
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
4
00:01:45,325 --> 00:01:48,759
How do I know?
5
00:01:48,761 --> 00:01:52,362
I spent a little time with the
FBI's organized crime unit.
6
00:01:52,364 --> 00:01:54,764
I guess you could say that
I'm intimately knowledgeable
7
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,866
with the seedy and rancorous
workings of the mob
8
00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:59,435
in the Midwest section of this country.
9
00:01:59,437 --> 00:02:01,603
I know a gangland slaying when I see one,
10
00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:03,738
and that's exactly what this baby is.
11
00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:07,541
I'd look into it myself personally,
but I got a date tonight.
12
00:02:07,543 --> 00:02:10,277
Think I'll take the private jet out
13
00:02:10,279 --> 00:02:13,079
and fly to Spain, pick up the little lady.
14
00:02:13,081 --> 00:02:15,881
Do the subsonic tummy bump at 30,000 feet.
15
00:02:15,883 --> 00:02:18,683
Then glide back into the U.S.
of A. By dawn.
16
00:02:18,685 --> 00:02:23,286
I know what you're gonna say,
"Jim. Jim Dodge, settle down."
17
00:02:23,288 --> 00:02:25,621
"Relax. You owe it to
yourself."
18
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,789
I'll tell you what I tell everybody else.
19
00:02:27,791 --> 00:02:31,793
Any little Fraulein that
expects anything more from me
20
00:02:31,795 --> 00:02:33,427
than a little bit of pleasure
and a little bit of danger
21
00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,695
and a great set of pectorals,
22
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,657
she's looking for a fall right on her ass.
23
00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:44,369
Hubie, Hubie, Hubie, Hubie!
24
00:02:44,371 --> 00:02:46,371
Get out of here!
Let me tell you something.
25
00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:49,006
If you know what's good for
you, don't you ever come back!
26
00:02:49,742 --> 00:02:51,608
Wait a minute, now, Hubie.
27
00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:53,910
You're not gonna find someone who has
the relationship with those animals
28
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,611
that I do.
29
00:02:55,613 --> 00:02:58,313
Listen to the dogs, Hubie.
They love me!
30
00:02:59,883 --> 00:03:03,050
It all started when I was 15.
31
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:06,086
That's when I invented
the artificial cow heart.
32
00:03:06,088 --> 00:03:08,755
That was a big thing.
33
00:03:08,757 --> 00:03:12,058
A little before your time, but
it made all the newspapers,
34
00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:14,727
ABC, NBC, CBS, they all picked up on it,
35
00:03:14,729 --> 00:03:18,063
but it's more or less a hobby for me, boys.
36
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,299
Scoot over!
37
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,634
Actually,
38
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:28,605
today I decided that I've gone
just about as far I can go
39
00:03:28,607 --> 00:03:30,807
in the animal
health-care business.
40
00:03:30,809 --> 00:03:34,076
But that's your question. The reason
that I'm not at work this afternoon,
41
00:03:34,078 --> 00:03:38,847
is because I was made an offer that
I simply cannot refuse. I sold.
42
00:03:38,849 --> 00:03:40,615
Whatcha gonna do with the cash, Jim?
43
00:03:40,617 --> 00:03:42,583
I don't know. Maybe
I'll invest it overseas.
44
00:03:42,585 --> 00:03:44,618
I've got some projects
in eastern Europe right now.
45
00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:46,419
I don't know. I've got
everything a man needs.
46
00:03:46,421 --> 00:03:49,455
Jim, you just bought the animal hospital.
47
00:03:49,457 --> 00:03:52,156
How come you sold it so fast?
48
00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:56,259
Tax problem.
49
00:03:56,261 --> 00:03:58,628
And here's my accountant right now.
50
00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:01,030
Earl, take a bow.
51
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:04,299
20 minutes for lunch, okay?
Go buy another suit.
52
00:04:04,301 --> 00:04:06,467
He works for me.
53
00:04:06,469 --> 00:04:08,802
He's scouting some
real estate for me right now.
54
00:04:08,804 --> 00:04:11,337
Yeah, but the market's real tight.
55
00:04:14,275 --> 00:04:16,574
I like the new uniform, Lorraine.
56
00:04:19,045 --> 00:04:21,311
You know, with the right shoes and handbag,
57
00:04:21,313 --> 00:04:23,546
that might be suitable for a cocktail party.
58
00:04:24,115 --> 00:04:26,548
So... Question.
59
00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:30,018
When in the world are you going
to start serving sashimi?
60
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,053
Maybe when I find out what it is.
61
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:36,956
You've never heard of sashimi?
62
00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:39,158
You've got to be kidding.
63
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,461
It's this special Japanese fish you eat raw.
64
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:44,029
With a little butter sauce,
65
00:04:44,031 --> 00:04:47,132
and you're ready to go to heaven.
66
00:04:47,134 --> 00:04:52,170
I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't
already fired you so many times.
67
00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:54,872
Did you ever think of leaving town?
68
00:04:56,008 --> 00:04:59,309
Thousands of people
over in St. Louis...
69
00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:02,478
Got no idea how full of shit you are.
70
00:05:04,315 --> 00:05:07,816
You've been alive for 21 years, my friend.
71
00:05:07,818 --> 00:05:12,052
Plenty of time for most people
to find a place for themselves.
72
00:05:13,488 --> 00:05:16,155
Well, I'm not like everybody else.
73
00:05:16,157 --> 00:05:18,724
You know what I'm saying?
74
00:05:18,726 --> 00:05:20,892
Yeah, that's for sure.
75
00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,663
How about if I...
76
00:05:25,665 --> 00:05:27,898
I work for you for free?
77
00:05:29,835 --> 00:05:32,268
No.
78
00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:34,803
I'm afraid not, Jimmy.
79
00:05:35,505 --> 00:05:38,171
Think about St. Louis.
80
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,239
- Hey, Josie.
- Hi.
81
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,506
Fill her up?
82
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,740
Fill her up.
83
00:06:03,027 --> 00:06:04,926
How you doin'?
84
00:06:21,709 --> 00:06:23,542
You got fired again,
didn't you? Didn't you?
85
00:06:23,544 --> 00:06:25,243
Yeah.
86
00:06:25,245 --> 00:06:26,611
Who told you that?
87
00:06:26,613 --> 00:06:29,046
Hubie Marshall called me at work.
88
00:06:29,048 --> 00:06:31,214
He called you at work?
89
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:35,050
That's it. Okay, I'm gonna... I'll speak...
What'd he say?
90
00:06:35,052 --> 00:06:37,886
He said he fired ya!
91
00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:40,255
He said that?
And you believed him?
92
00:06:40,257 --> 00:06:42,090
Damn straight I do!
93
00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:47,061
With all due respect, Dad, you're Mr.
Gullible, sometimes.
94
00:06:47,063 --> 00:06:49,296
The truth of the matter is, Dad, I resigned.
95
00:06:50,232 --> 00:06:51,397
I'll tell you something else, Dad.
96
00:06:51,399 --> 00:06:52,431
Shut up, Jimmy!
97
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:54,633
When I took the job, I had no idea
98
00:06:54,635 --> 00:06:57,669
it was gonna be
a hire-fire situation.
99
00:06:57,671 --> 00:07:00,138
Luther Betenhauser's boy
is doing much better.
100
00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:01,439
What's wrong with him?
101
00:07:01,441 --> 00:07:02,740
Fell off his grandfather's silo.
102
00:07:02,742 --> 00:07:04,074
He's got brain damage.
103
00:07:04,076 --> 00:07:05,308
He does not.
104
00:07:05,310 --> 00:07:06,942
He does, too.
105
00:07:06,944 --> 00:07:08,743
Hoover Fey says his tongue's gonna hang out
106
00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:10,444
the side of his mouth the rest of his life.
107
00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:12,245
And when he dies and they bury him,
108
00:07:12,247 --> 00:07:14,580
at the funeral they're
gonna put a mask on him.
109
00:07:14,582 --> 00:07:17,015
Do I have to listen to
this while I'm eating?
110
00:07:17,684 --> 00:07:19,717
Let's talk about something else.
111
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:27,290
Josie McClellan moved to New York.
112
00:07:27,292 --> 00:07:30,259
She did not. I saw her today.
113
00:07:30,261 --> 00:07:32,261
Well, I don't know how you could.
114
00:07:32,263 --> 00:07:35,197
I heard at the bank that she got
tired of taking care of her father,
115
00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:36,965
and she told him to jump in a lake,
116
00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:40,034
and then she left for New York to
get her MBA in high-fashion design
117
00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:42,703
at the University of New York City.
118
00:07:42,705 --> 00:07:46,472
I just saw her down at the
gas station in living color.
119
00:07:46,474 --> 00:07:49,107
We had a cup of java together.
120
00:07:49,109 --> 00:07:53,177
Well, I'm gonna take Lou Selby's
word over yours any day.
121
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:56,947
Lou Selby.
Lou Selby's a drunk.
122
00:07:56,949 --> 00:07:59,716
You know, for a guy who's just
lost his umpteenth job,
123
00:07:59,718 --> 00:08:01,684
you sure are handy with the tongue sword.
124
00:08:01,686 --> 00:08:03,786
You got canned again?
125
00:08:03,788 --> 00:08:05,788
Well, he didn't get canned.
126
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:07,889
He got fired.
127
00:08:09,225 --> 00:08:11,105
That's gotta be some kind of a record.
128
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,462
Not only are you an obnoxious slug,
129
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:20,231
but you're a freeloading obnoxious slug.
130
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,132
Well, you should talk.
131
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:24,654
What are you? In your mid-forties
and still living at home.
132
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:28,537
I'm 24, and I pay rent.
133
00:08:29,072 --> 00:08:30,237
So do I.
134
00:08:30,239 --> 00:08:31,371
You did pay rent.
135
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:35,640
Dad, you mean you're cutting my rent?
136
00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:37,708
Hell, no!
137
00:08:37,710 --> 00:08:39,476
You're not paying a rent
'cause you don't have a job
138
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,077
and you don't have any money.
139
00:08:41,079 --> 00:08:43,779
You're out of school and you live
in this house, you pay rent!
140
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,900
Jim! Yo, Jim!
141
00:09:05,902 --> 00:09:07,935
Jim, wake up!
142
00:09:07,937 --> 00:09:10,271
Hey, get up!
143
00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,574
Get up!
144
00:09:19,013 --> 00:09:22,147
You know, getting this job,
145
00:09:22,149 --> 00:09:24,282
restoring your faith and pride in me
146
00:09:24,284 --> 00:09:26,350
is a number-one
priority right now, Dad.
147
00:09:26,352 --> 00:09:29,720
Priority ought to be making
something of yourself.
148
00:09:29,722 --> 00:09:31,455
That's right up there.
149
00:09:31,457 --> 00:09:35,691
When I was your age, I couldn't
wait to get out of my folks' house.
150
00:09:37,561 --> 00:09:39,193
I love living at home.
151
00:09:49,838 --> 00:09:53,238
I don't think this is such a
great place for me to work, Dad.
152
00:09:55,875 --> 00:09:57,541
Okay,
153
00:09:57,543 --> 00:10:00,744
say I don't get this job, hypothetically.
154
00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:02,911
Are you gonna be upset?
155
00:10:02,913 --> 00:10:06,313
You don't get this job,
you're on a bus to St. Louis.
156
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,081
St. Louis?
157
00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:10,817
Uncle Jeff's offered to put you
to work in his garden shop.
158
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,718
I don't know anything about gardening.
159
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,153
You will learn!
160
00:10:15,155 --> 00:10:18,523
I'm getting a distinct feeling
that you want me out of your life.
161
00:10:18,525 --> 00:10:21,558
I don't want you out of my life.
I want you out of my house.
162
00:10:23,428 --> 00:10:25,060
Wow.
Out!
163
00:10:25,062 --> 00:10:26,895
Okay, okay, okay.
164
00:10:42,845 --> 00:10:45,612
Are you sure I can't offer you
a coffee and a bear claw?
165
00:10:45,614 --> 00:10:47,180
No, thanks.
166
00:10:47,182 --> 00:10:48,915
They're very good, they're fresh.
167
00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:50,683
No, I'm fine.
168
00:10:50,685 --> 00:10:52,685
You don't want one, and I don't need one.
169
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,453
Right!
170
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,254
I love the darn things, though, I tell you.
171
00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:59,556
You know, I got a sweet tooth, I
could eat those things by the dozen.
172
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,257
By the looks of it, I have.
173
00:11:01,259 --> 00:11:02,891
Right.
174
00:11:02,893 --> 00:11:06,561
I tell ya, I'm so excited
that you're considering
175
00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:09,096
joining the Target team.
We all are.
176
00:11:10,466 --> 00:11:12,032
I appreciate that.
177
00:11:12,034 --> 00:11:15,535
Good, then, let's cut
right to the chase, shall we?
178
00:11:16,704 --> 00:11:20,105
We're prepared to offer you $42,500 a year,
179
00:11:20,107 --> 00:11:22,273
with a full benefit package.
180
00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:25,041
That's dental, medical,
181
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:27,143
profit sharing, pension,
182
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,979
expense account, car allowance,
183
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,914
vacation, of course,
184
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:35,284
and any and all relocating expenses.
185
00:11:35,286 --> 00:11:39,821
This is our first, best, and last offer.
What do you think?
186
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,623
Well...
187
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:45,826
C.D., with all due respect,
188
00:11:45,828 --> 00:11:47,561
I came in here
189
00:11:47,563 --> 00:11:50,463
with the number 45 in my mind, and...
190
00:12:12,582 --> 00:12:15,115
You've got me.
191
00:12:16,184 --> 00:12:17,750
45 it is.
192
00:12:19,253 --> 00:12:20,652
Welcome aboard.
193
00:12:20,654 --> 00:12:22,086
Thank you.
194
00:12:22,088 --> 00:12:23,253
I'd like to buy you lunch.
195
00:12:23,255 --> 00:12:24,654
No, no, no.
196
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,822
Your money's no good here.
Lunch is mine, all right?
197
00:12:26,824 --> 00:12:28,323
I'm not going to argue with you.
198
00:12:28,325 --> 00:12:30,205
You better not.
I'm bigger than you are.
199
00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:33,260
Hang on a second, will you?
I told her to hold my calls.
200
00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:34,794
Get it.
201
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,328
Yeah, Peg.
202
00:12:37,264 --> 00:12:39,931
No, it's okay.
203
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,465
No, he's right here with me now.
204
00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:42,966
Hi, Peg.
205
00:12:42,968 --> 00:12:45,268
We just closed the deal.
206
00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:49,504
It was a slam-dunk, too.
I got him for 45.
207
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:56,510
No, he's right here.
208
00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:00,679
What do you mean, he missed the plane?
209
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,416
Then who the hell am I talking to?
210
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,352
Lord!
211
00:13:10,988 --> 00:13:14,355
I'll...
I'll get back to you.
212
00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,690
Hey, I know a great little Italian place
213
00:13:17,692 --> 00:13:20,626
that has the best pasta primatonis in the...
214
00:13:20,628 --> 00:13:22,461
Excuse me a minute, will you, please?
215
00:13:22,463 --> 00:13:23,895
Lovely wife you have there.
216
00:13:23,897 --> 00:13:25,296
Dodge, James?
217
00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:32,701
James, I'm afraid we have a
little misunderstanding here.
218
00:13:32,703 --> 00:13:35,370
You see, I thought you came in for the...
219
00:13:35,372 --> 00:13:38,706
Operations Manager's job.
220
00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:41,208
I have you down here as night cleanup boy.
221
00:13:44,546 --> 00:13:46,345
Well, I'm a little overpaid
222
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:49,247
for night cleanup boy,
wouldn't you say, C.D.?
223
00:13:50,984 --> 00:13:54,518
The truth is, James, I can
offer you $4.44 per hour.
224
00:13:58,056 --> 00:14:01,523
Four, four... $4.44...
225
00:14:01,525 --> 00:14:03,324
$4.44.
226
00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:05,259
What about the benefits?
227
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,661
Two fifteen-minute breaks
and a half hour for lunch.
228
00:14:09,031 --> 00:14:12,899
And the title is, night cleanup boy?
229
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:14,899
Yes.
230
00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:19,202
I'll take it.
231
00:14:19,204 --> 00:14:21,337
And, lose the curl.
232
00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:24,973
Welcome to the Target team.
Thank you.
233
00:14:26,676 --> 00:14:29,943
So the parrot says, "Of course, I can talk.
Can you fly?"
234
00:14:34,515 --> 00:14:38,349
I don't want any damn Japanese
automobile plant in this town.
235
00:14:41,187 --> 00:14:43,187
It means jobs.
236
00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:46,289
I don't need a job.
237
00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:49,358
Your governor's tryin' to use
my town as a political chip.
238
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,093
Gentlemen, I resent that.
239
00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:54,996
Well, there could be some specific
benefits for you personally.
240
00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:00,799
Josie!
241
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,570
Yeah?
Come here.
242
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,772
I want you to meet these gentlemen
from the governor's office.
243
00:15:09,941 --> 00:15:12,107
Come on in here, honey.
244
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:29,989
Honey, I want you to meet Bill...
245
00:15:29,991 --> 00:15:31,323
Bob.
246
00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:34,292
Bob Bosenbeck.
247
00:15:37,629 --> 00:15:38,794
Bob.
248
00:15:54,743 --> 00:15:55,976
Dave.
249
00:15:59,114 --> 00:16:01,414
My pleasure, Dave.
250
00:16:03,351 --> 00:16:05,117
Right.
Dave Hockner.
251
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,354
I don't want to interrupt your meeting.
252
00:16:09,356 --> 00:16:11,456
Very nice to meet both of you.
253
00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:13,524
Bye.
254
00:16:13,526 --> 00:16:15,192
Bye.
255
00:16:20,032 --> 00:16:21,831
Josie?
256
00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:24,800
Josie!
257
00:16:32,373 --> 00:16:35,607
You pull another stunt like you did today,
258
00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:38,443
I'll beat the livin' daylights outta you!
259
00:16:59,729 --> 00:17:00,894
All right, out!
260
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:08,000
Out of here, man.
Get out of here!
261
00:17:08,002 --> 00:17:09,134
Get out of the car!
262
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:30,982
Right on time!
263
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,253
Everything's going as planned.
264
00:17:37,422 --> 00:17:38,654
You ordered a limousine?
265
00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:42,223
Of course.
266
00:17:43,025 --> 00:17:44,424
My first day at work.
267
00:17:44,426 --> 00:17:47,493
How's it gonna look if my dad drives me?
268
00:17:47,495 --> 00:17:49,595
A little treat to
myself for getting the job.
269
00:17:49,597 --> 00:17:51,496
It was only 50 bucks.
270
00:17:53,999 --> 00:17:55,331
Right on time, Henry.
271
00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:56,999
Yes, sir.
272
00:17:57,001 --> 00:17:58,767
Henry, the sign...
273
00:17:58,769 --> 00:18:00,435
Very well, sir.
274
00:18:03,772 --> 00:18:05,838
Ciao!
275
00:18:12,345 --> 00:18:14,845
Hey, Jim, where are you going?
276
00:18:15,714 --> 00:18:18,281
Hello, boys.
277
00:18:18,283 --> 00:18:20,716
Going to Paris on an F-14.
278
00:18:20,718 --> 00:18:23,618
Got a little peace meeting with
the Vice-President of Bulgaria.
279
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:26,454
Business, you know?
Then I'm going to Venice,
280
00:18:26,456 --> 00:18:29,123
for a big spaghetti dinner
with the princess of Austria.
281
00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:31,792
A beautiful lady...
Really big bones.
282
00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:34,561
Remember to brush your teeth, Melvin!
283
00:18:34,563 --> 00:18:37,797
You, too, Sidney! Adios!
284
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,268
Jim is so cool!
285
00:20:11,925 --> 00:20:12,941
Bobby.
286
00:20:12,942 --> 00:20:13,958
Got a loose tile here.
First thing in the morning,
287
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,427
I want you to take some epoxy
cement and take care of this.
288
00:20:16,429 --> 00:20:18,562
I don't need a lawsuit, okay?
289
00:20:18,564 --> 00:20:21,064
I've got enough to worry about.
290
00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:24,066
Who's he?
291
00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:25,667
Attention shoppers.
292
00:20:25,669 --> 00:20:27,502
The store will be closing in five minutes.
293
00:20:27,504 --> 00:20:30,805
Please bring all your purchases
to the front. Thank you.
294
00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:10,877
Are you a slacker?
295
00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:15,047
No, Presbyterian.
296
00:21:15,049 --> 00:21:17,349
What did you say?
What did you say?
297
00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:19,451
I'm askin' you a simple question.
298
00:21:19,453 --> 00:21:21,686
Are you lazy?
No, sir.
299
00:21:21,688 --> 00:21:24,021
'Cause the last guy that wore
that uniform was a lazy slacker,
300
00:21:24,023 --> 00:21:25,856
and I fired his no-good butt.
301
00:21:27,226 --> 00:21:29,993
About the uniform,
302
00:21:29,995 --> 00:21:31,627
will I be getting my own?
303
00:21:31,629 --> 00:21:34,062
You work out, which I doubt,
304
00:21:34,064 --> 00:21:35,797
you can have yourself a new name patch.
305
00:21:40,869 --> 00:21:43,502
Would I be able to have it laundered?
306
00:21:43,504 --> 00:21:45,470
It smells a little bit like Darnell.
307
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:48,473
I don't think you know
who you're messin' with, boy.
308
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,975
Right, after you clean the
ladies' and men's crappers,
309
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,143
I'm talking about you'd better
be able to eat off those bowls.
310
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,978
Sure.
You clean my coffeemaker,
311
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,546
then you wax my desk.
312
00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:58,814
Clean what?
313
00:21:58,816 --> 00:22:00,549
You clean my coffeemaker and wax my desk!
314
00:22:00,551 --> 00:22:02,584
I got it!
315
00:22:02,586 --> 00:22:04,819
You, sweep the aisles, startin'
with health and beauty,
316
00:22:04,821 --> 00:22:06,687
and you work your way over
to juniors and misses.
317
00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:09,656
Ups and downs, leaving your
debris in the cross aisles.
318
00:22:09,658 --> 00:22:10,823
So I start with health and beauty...
319
00:22:10,825 --> 00:22:12,157
What did I just say?
320
00:22:12,159 --> 00:22:14,192
I just said to start
with health and beauty, okay?
321
00:22:14,194 --> 00:22:15,826
Then you do your cross aisles.
322
00:22:15,828 --> 00:22:17,661
That'll bring your dustbin into play.
323
00:22:17,663 --> 00:22:19,929
You take the debris.
You load it into the dustbin.
324
00:22:19,931 --> 00:22:22,831
You take the dustbin out
to the loading dock area
325
00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:24,732
and you empty it into the receptacle.
326
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:26,033
You got that? Easy as pie.
327
00:22:26,035 --> 00:22:27,667
Yeah.
328
00:22:27,669 --> 00:22:29,669
Now, I was employed for a brief
period at Del Taco, and...
329
00:22:29,671 --> 00:22:32,505
I don't care about your
Del Taco experiences, boy.
330
00:22:32,507 --> 00:22:35,007
All right. Now, we've got this little
problem in this store with grazers.
331
00:22:35,009 --> 00:22:36,775
You know what a grazer is, boy?
332
00:22:36,777 --> 00:22:39,010
Is that some sort of farm term?
333
00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:40,778
A grazer is a customer or an employee
334
00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:42,513
that eats off the shelves, okay?
335
00:22:42,515 --> 00:22:45,349
Sort of similar to a cow
grazing in a field of grass.
336
00:22:45,351 --> 00:22:47,951
Only this isn't a field of grass,
okay, and you're not a cow.
337
00:22:47,953 --> 00:22:50,586
There's no eatin'. You're not
being paid to eat, so don't!
338
00:22:50,588 --> 00:22:52,054
You got any questions?
339
00:22:52,056 --> 00:22:53,455
Not right offhand, no.
340
00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:54,956
You think you can handle it?
341
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:56,390
I'll give it the old college try.
342
00:22:56,392 --> 00:22:57,991
Don't touch me!
343
00:22:58,927 --> 00:23:01,360
Well, despite our age difference,
344
00:23:01,362 --> 00:23:03,028
I think I'm really gonna
enjoy working with you.
345
00:23:03,030 --> 00:23:05,230
Let's get something straight, boy.
You ain't workin' with me.
346
00:23:05,232 --> 00:23:07,198
You're working for me.
347
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,867
Still, I think it's gonna
be fun being around you.
348
00:23:09,869 --> 00:23:11,435
Yeah, I ain't gonna be anywhere near you.
349
00:23:11,437 --> 00:23:13,937
I'm gonna be home pumping the
pasties out of Colleen Jackson.
350
00:23:13,939 --> 00:23:15,371
You're not going to be here?
351
00:23:15,373 --> 00:23:16,705
Hell, no.
352
00:23:18,308 --> 00:23:21,976
I'm gonna be here by myself?
353
00:23:21,978 --> 00:23:25,712
Yeah, that's right! And you'd better
stay out of the ladies' undergoods.
354
00:23:27,248 --> 00:23:30,616
Wait a minute. Nobody told
me I'd be here alone.
355
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:32,050
What are you doing?
356
00:23:32,052 --> 00:23:33,418
Saving money.
357
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:35,386
Wait a minute. Are you
turning off the lights?
358
00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:37,888
In 25 seconds, you got light
in every third aisle.
359
00:23:37,890 --> 00:23:39,122
When the sun comes up, you turn off
360
00:23:39,124 --> 00:23:40,964
all the lights.
You understand?
361
00:23:41,259 --> 00:23:44,226
No, I don't understand.
Just hold on a second!
362
00:23:44,228 --> 00:23:45,994
I'm locking you in.
363
00:23:45,996 --> 00:23:49,363
When I come back at 7:00 to
open up, I'll let you out.
364
00:23:51,633 --> 00:23:53,633
You're locking me in?
365
00:23:53,635 --> 00:23:55,234
What do you take me for, a fool?
366
00:23:55,236 --> 00:23:58,737
Nobody gets a set of keys
on their first night. Nobody!
367
00:23:58,739 --> 00:24:00,705
Now, get to work!
368
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,639
What if there's a fire?
369
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,401
Then the fire department will come.
370
00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:05,975
I could perish!
371
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,443
Boo!
372
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:10,946
You can't do this. I'm locked
in, alone, in the dark.
373
00:24:10,948 --> 00:24:13,014
That was not a part
of my employment agreement.
374
00:26:30,750 --> 00:26:32,782
9:17?
375
00:26:34,418 --> 00:26:37,118
Time for a break.
376
00:27:02,744 --> 00:27:04,142
Hello.
377
00:27:06,412 --> 00:27:08,044
Anybody out there?
378
00:27:08,046 --> 00:27:10,012
When I accepted the...
379
00:27:10,014 --> 00:27:13,281
The post of President,
grand Pooh-Bah of Target,
380
00:27:15,084 --> 00:27:17,651
realizing that I have brought
381
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,120
meaningfulness and peace and happiness,
382
00:27:21,122 --> 00:27:23,489
into the lives of thousands of people.
383
00:27:24,191 --> 00:27:26,858
Jim Dodge, of Monroe,
384
00:27:26,860 --> 00:27:28,860
top moneymaker on the tour.
385
00:27:28,862 --> 00:27:31,362
His father's here today, Bud Dodge,
386
00:27:31,364 --> 00:27:33,230
and sister Penny, a sad, sad story,
387
00:27:33,232 --> 00:27:36,366
was just admitted to university hospital.
388
00:27:36,368 --> 00:27:40,203
While trying to pop a zit, her
head mysteriously exploded.
389
00:28:04,590 --> 00:28:06,289
Dad! Hi!
390
00:28:06,291 --> 00:28:08,224
Jim, do you know what time it is?
391
00:28:08,226 --> 00:28:12,094
You know, I'm starting to think
about Christmas and gifts,
392
00:28:12,096 --> 00:28:15,563
because I'm in a big store and I'm
starting to get a lot of gift ideas.
393
00:28:15,565 --> 00:28:16,897
Hi.
394
00:28:16,899 --> 00:28:18,431
Mom, hi!
395
00:28:18,433 --> 00:28:20,399
How's it going?
396
00:28:20,401 --> 00:28:23,568
Well, I finished all my janitor
stuff, I've finished most of it.
397
00:28:23,570 --> 00:28:25,436
I've got to save some stuff for later.
398
00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:27,504
But it's easy as hell.
399
00:28:27,506 --> 00:28:30,240
Honey, it's a little late.
400
00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:33,343
Yeah, it is kind of late.
Well, sleep tight.
401
00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:36,779
See you in the morning.
402
00:28:36,781 --> 00:28:38,347
Love you, too.
403
00:28:43,586 --> 00:28:45,752
Mr. James Dodge!
404
00:29:41,575 --> 00:29:44,709
He can't be happy as the night cleanup boy.
405
00:29:46,546 --> 00:29:48,279
Sweetheart...
406
00:29:49,181 --> 00:29:51,814
He wants us to call him a janitor.
407
00:29:54,318 --> 00:29:58,586
Maybe I should have spent less time
harping and more time helping.
408
00:29:59,488 --> 00:30:01,888
Harpin' and helpin' him what?
409
00:30:03,091 --> 00:30:07,326
Harpin' on him to leave,
and helpin' him become the...
410
00:30:07,328 --> 00:30:10,429
Good, mature, productive person he could be.
411
00:31:40,585 --> 00:31:42,318
Are you all right?
412
00:31:43,988 --> 00:31:45,854
Yes, I'm fine, thanks.
413
00:31:45,856 --> 00:31:46,921
And you?
414
00:31:48,524 --> 00:31:49,990
What are you doing here?
415
00:31:51,593 --> 00:31:53,926
I work here.
416
00:31:53,928 --> 00:31:55,861
Have a good one, Officer Don.
417
00:31:55,863 --> 00:31:59,830
Okay, Carl. Keep in touch. Let
me know if you hear anything.
418
00:31:59,832 --> 00:32:01,398
You bet.
419
00:32:03,301 --> 00:32:05,634
Well, sir, she didn't leave on the bus.
420
00:32:05,636 --> 00:32:08,837
Apparently, she isn't here. Let's
go look for her someplace else.
421
00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:12,273
She wouldn't be dumb
enough to thumb, would she?
422
00:32:12,275 --> 00:32:15,775
Does she have any friends that
she might have run off with?
423
00:32:16,344 --> 00:32:18,110
Boyfriends?
424
00:32:18,112 --> 00:32:21,613
Would you just get in the car so we
can go look for the girl, please?
425
00:32:21,615 --> 00:32:23,648
I'm tired, I had to get out of the bed,
426
00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:25,683
I haven't had any coffee.
I don't feel good.
427
00:32:25,685 --> 00:32:27,051
My daughter, I don't know
where the hell she is.
428
00:32:27,053 --> 00:32:28,819
And you're standing by the car there,
429
00:32:28,821 --> 00:32:30,654
sounding like some goddamn
preacher or something!
430
00:32:30,656 --> 00:32:32,288
Come on. Get in the car!
431
00:32:34,058 --> 00:32:35,290
Prick.
432
00:32:40,163 --> 00:32:42,463
Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself?
433
00:32:42,465 --> 00:32:45,165
No. Are you kidding?
434
00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:47,700
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
435
00:32:47,702 --> 00:32:49,134
Can I ask what you were doing?
436
00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:51,136
I was roller-skating.
437
00:32:52,005 --> 00:32:53,671
I know, but why?
438
00:32:53,673 --> 00:32:55,806
Why not?
439
00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:59,476
I got bored. One thing
led to another and...
440
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:02,579
And I'm roller-skating
in my shorts.
441
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:04,881
Better question would be,
"What are you doing here?"
442
00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:07,316
Shopping.
443
00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,918
Well, we've been closed for five hours.
444
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,186
Yeah. I fell asleep.
445
00:33:12,188 --> 00:33:13,687
While shopping?
446
00:33:13,689 --> 00:33:15,321
No, in the ladies' dressing room.
447
00:33:15,323 --> 00:33:18,891
That makes no sense. You're a
high-profile young ingenue.
448
00:33:18,893 --> 00:33:20,692
I was debating...
What?
449
00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:24,095
Whether or not to get
arrested for shoplifting.
450
00:33:24,097 --> 00:33:27,264
Doesn't your father own, like, $10 million
worth of real estate in this town?
451
00:33:27,266 --> 00:33:29,065
Well, it's not my fault.
452
00:33:29,067 --> 00:33:30,833
No, no, I didn't imply such.
453
00:33:30,835 --> 00:33:34,069
It just seems funny that someone of your...
454
00:33:34,071 --> 00:33:35,837
Wealth?
455
00:33:35,839 --> 00:33:37,505
If you will.
Would be shoplifting...
456
00:33:37,507 --> 00:33:39,974
I didn't do it.
I chickened out.
457
00:33:40,910 --> 00:33:43,610
Would consider shoplifting.
458
00:33:43,612 --> 00:33:47,346
It's a long, dull, self-indulgent,
highly unromantic story
459
00:33:47,348 --> 00:33:49,848
about an overbearing father,
460
00:33:49,850 --> 00:33:52,050
deceased mother and brother
461
00:33:52,052 --> 00:33:55,686
and a completely confused girl
who looks a little like me.
462
00:34:33,455 --> 00:34:36,255
I sure am glad you dropped by.
463
00:34:36,257 --> 00:34:39,057
I was getting pretty
tired of being with myself.
464
00:34:42,095 --> 00:34:45,896
I guess... I guess, I'm what
you call a people person.
465
00:34:49,067 --> 00:34:50,299
What are you cooking?
466
00:34:50,301 --> 00:34:51,466
Hobo Chicken.
467
00:34:51,468 --> 00:34:53,835
It's a glazed chicken in wine sauce
468
00:34:53,837 --> 00:34:56,771
with vegetables
and skin-on potatoes.
469
00:34:56,773 --> 00:34:58,973
Silverware... Silverware...
470
00:35:02,278 --> 00:35:04,244
It's only 210 calories.
471
00:35:04,246 --> 00:35:06,512
And I don't know if you're watching
472
00:35:06,514 --> 00:35:08,747
your figure, but I sure am.
473
00:35:08,749 --> 00:35:10,949
If you can just grab a serving spoon
474
00:35:10,951 --> 00:35:13,084
over there, I think we'll be set.
475
00:35:18,357 --> 00:35:20,523
Keep your distance from these things.
476
00:35:20,525 --> 00:35:22,758
I think it's safe to keep five feet.
477
00:35:27,764 --> 00:35:29,929
I think they're about done.
478
00:35:32,099 --> 00:35:34,498
Well, dining room's right this way.
479
00:35:41,671 --> 00:35:45,271
I think my father poured
the cement for your pool.
480
00:35:46,707 --> 00:35:49,707
He's a cement contractor.
Good man.
481
00:35:50,843 --> 00:35:52,375
Bud Dodge?
482
00:35:52,377 --> 00:35:55,177
My mother works at Hoenicker's
over Christmas, part time.
483
00:35:55,179 --> 00:35:57,045
My sister's a teller at the bank.
484
00:35:57,047 --> 00:35:59,947
My brother's in grade school.
He's not employed at the moment.
485
00:35:59,949 --> 00:36:02,683
I used to work at the animal shelter.
486
00:36:02,685 --> 00:36:06,186
But I was terminated. And now...
Now I'm working here.
487
00:36:08,657 --> 00:36:10,289
Do you always talk this much?
488
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,561
Yeah, I guess I do.
489
00:36:15,563 --> 00:36:17,629
I like talking to people.
490
00:36:19,599 --> 00:36:22,066
I was thinking maybe
you should go into sales.
491
00:36:22,068 --> 00:36:23,333
I've actually tried that.
492
00:36:30,741 --> 00:36:33,108
Some fresh ground pepper?
493
00:36:33,110 --> 00:36:34,542
Please.
494
00:36:37,013 --> 00:36:38,846
Some people don't like a lot of pepper.
495
00:36:38,848 --> 00:36:40,647
Say when.
That's fine.
496
00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:43,616
I happen to really like it a lot.
497
00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:47,152
I think it enhances the natural
flavor of the chicken.
498
00:36:50,757 --> 00:36:53,491
I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
499
00:36:54,327 --> 00:36:56,460
I've had dreams about you.
500
00:36:56,462 --> 00:36:58,661
You've had dreams about me?
501
00:37:00,264 --> 00:37:01,763
Not recently.
502
00:37:01,765 --> 00:37:03,931
I've had dreams about you in the past.
503
00:37:03,933 --> 00:37:06,433
I've had dreams about
entire cheerleading squads,
504
00:37:06,435 --> 00:37:08,501
so don't get me wrong.
505
00:37:08,503 --> 00:37:10,769
It's kid stuff, you know.
How 'bout you?
506
00:37:10,771 --> 00:37:12,237
Do I dream?
507
00:37:14,608 --> 00:37:16,541
That's about all I do.
508
00:37:30,489 --> 00:37:34,023
- Raisin' a kid's hard work.
- You got any kids?
509
00:37:34,025 --> 00:37:36,892
No, sir. No, sir. And from
listening to you talking
510
00:37:36,894 --> 00:37:38,793
and from observin' this,
511
00:37:38,795 --> 00:37:42,029
I'm kinda grateful old Emily
turned up infertile.
512
00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:01,980
Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store?
513
00:38:02,816 --> 00:38:04,315
I got plenty of time.
514
00:38:04,884 --> 00:38:06,916
Big store.
Huge.
515
00:38:08,819 --> 00:38:10,285
Always smoke cigars?
516
00:38:11,855 --> 00:38:14,222
I enjoy a good one after a fine meal.
517
00:38:14,224 --> 00:38:16,224
It settles the stomach.
518
00:38:17,393 --> 00:38:19,059
You're the town liar, right?
519
00:38:23,931 --> 00:38:25,096
What?
520
00:38:25,098 --> 00:38:29,166
I'm sorry.
That really came out wrong.
521
00:38:29,168 --> 00:38:30,834
I don't see how something like
that could come out right.
522
00:38:30,836 --> 00:38:32,268
I guess I meant that's what people call you.
523
00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:33,669
But I didn't mean to imply
that it's actually true.
524
00:38:33,671 --> 00:38:34,870
People are actually calling me that?
525
00:38:34,872 --> 00:38:36,504
I thought you knew.
526
00:38:36,506 --> 00:38:38,005
Know what?
That I was the town liar?
527
00:38:38,007 --> 00:38:39,239
You didn't?
528
00:38:39,241 --> 00:38:40,573
No. I'm not.
529
00:38:40,575 --> 00:38:42,174
I think that you might have
the wrong information.
530
00:38:42,176 --> 00:38:43,341
I didn't mean to offend you.
531
00:38:44,610 --> 00:38:46,076
Did you think that was a compliment?
532
00:38:46,078 --> 00:38:48,244
No. No. And I apologize.
533
00:38:48,246 --> 00:38:50,879
You know, I can't repeat things like that.
534
00:38:50,881 --> 00:38:53,448
Don't think about it.
It's all right.
535
00:38:53,450 --> 00:38:56,050
As I said, I think you've got
the wrong information.
536
00:38:56,052 --> 00:38:58,052
But, if people are calling me that,
537
00:38:58,054 --> 00:39:00,687
it's only because they're small,
cheap, petty, and jealous.
538
00:39:00,689 --> 00:39:03,189
Small towns are notorious
for that kinda thing.
539
00:39:03,191 --> 00:39:04,423
I'm sure there's a word for me.
540
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:05,857
Yeah. Sure.
541
00:39:05,859 --> 00:39:07,058
What do they call me?
542
00:39:07,060 --> 00:39:08,292
A tease.
543
00:39:08,294 --> 00:39:09,693
Tease?
544
00:39:11,563 --> 00:39:13,963
Yeah, I can see that.
545
00:39:15,366 --> 00:39:17,966
Actually, I never teased.
546
00:39:17,968 --> 00:39:20,301
This is becoming amusing.
547
00:39:20,303 --> 00:39:22,202
Who exactly calls me a liar?
548
00:39:22,204 --> 00:39:24,070
Everybody.
549
00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:25,704
Everybody.
No, not everybody.
550
00:39:25,706 --> 00:39:27,205
I'm sure there's some old people in town.
551
00:39:27,207 --> 00:39:28,639
Right.
552
00:39:34,913 --> 00:39:36,612
Well, what do you think?
553
00:39:36,614 --> 00:39:38,279
What do I think?
554
00:39:40,216 --> 00:39:42,082
Do you think I'm a liar?
555
00:39:42,084 --> 00:39:44,283
Well, I don't know you well enough.
556
00:39:45,986 --> 00:39:47,986
You've known me for almost 17 years.
557
00:39:47,988 --> 00:39:50,388
We went to the same schools
from kindergarten on up.
558
00:39:50,390 --> 00:39:53,123
I knew of you, but I didn't
know you personally.
559
00:39:54,493 --> 00:39:56,459
That's always bothered me.
560
00:39:56,461 --> 00:40:00,128
I mean, that old "in-out,
us-them" thing.
561
00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:01,596
That's the way it's been.
562
00:40:01,598 --> 00:40:02,997
I know.
It's always bothered me.
563
00:40:02,999 --> 00:40:05,432
Sure, but it's water over the dam now.
564
00:40:05,434 --> 00:40:08,735
Yeah, but it's your dam and my water.
565
00:40:08,737 --> 00:40:10,503
I got crapped on a lot of years.
566
00:40:10,505 --> 00:40:12,738
I just meant that it's in the past.
567
00:40:12,740 --> 00:40:15,574
Well, the present is a result of the past.
568
00:40:15,576 --> 00:40:17,809
I look at my high school yearbook,
569
00:40:17,811 --> 00:40:20,912
and I don't see four fabulous years.
570
00:40:20,914 --> 00:40:23,114
Actually, what I'm reminded of
is what it feels like
571
00:40:23,116 --> 00:40:25,249
to have my underwear yanked up my ass
572
00:40:25,251 --> 00:40:27,618
by some big football player
with arms like telephone poles.
573
00:40:27,620 --> 00:40:30,153
Okay, and where are those guys now?
574
00:40:31,756 --> 00:40:36,291
I know they're not working nights at Target.
I'll tell you that.
575
00:40:36,293 --> 00:40:39,093
Yeah. You know,
576
00:40:39,095 --> 00:40:41,095
I look at my yearbook
577
00:40:41,097 --> 00:40:44,397
and I see four fabulous years
578
00:40:45,867 --> 00:40:47,800
that are gonna be the highlight of my life.
579
00:40:47,802 --> 00:40:49,935
Here's what it's like...
580
00:40:49,937 --> 00:40:53,204
First, you feel a hand going
down the back of your pants
581
00:40:53,206 --> 00:40:54,939
and tighten around the elastic waistband...
582
00:40:54,941 --> 00:40:56,607
Highlight.
583
00:40:56,609 --> 00:40:58,442
Sometimes I'd actually see stars.
584
00:40:58,444 --> 00:41:00,143
It's not going to get any better.
585
00:41:00,145 --> 00:41:02,678
And if I was particularly unlucky,
586
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,147
my shorts would like rip completely free
587
00:41:05,149 --> 00:41:06,548
and I would get this
really drastic fabric...
588
00:41:06,550 --> 00:41:07,882
Jim? Do you hear me?
589
00:41:10,820 --> 00:41:12,019
Yeah.
590
00:41:15,124 --> 00:41:19,025
I don't really care about a graphic
description of a childhood prank.
591
00:41:19,027 --> 00:41:21,360
Hey, that prank was a motif in my life.
592
00:41:25,832 --> 00:41:29,500
You know, I'm locked in this store here
593
00:41:29,502 --> 00:41:32,503
because I didn't have
the guts to steal a skirt,
594
00:41:32,505 --> 00:41:35,339
so I could get arrested
and embarrass my father
595
00:41:35,341 --> 00:41:37,908
in this stupid, desperate, childish,
596
00:41:37,910 --> 00:41:40,076
pathetic attempt to leave home.
597
00:41:40,078 --> 00:41:42,645
And you have your underwear
yanked up your ass.
598
00:41:42,647 --> 00:41:45,581
I have my entire life yanked up my ass.
599
00:41:47,351 --> 00:41:49,517
Well, you're speaking figuratively.
600
00:41:49,519 --> 00:41:51,585
I was speaking literally.
And you're happy.
601
00:41:51,587 --> 00:41:52,886
You know, you're happy.
602
00:41:54,089 --> 00:41:55,655
I'm not happy.
603
00:41:55,657 --> 00:41:57,323
I'm working nights.
604
00:41:57,325 --> 00:41:59,825
Everybody thinks I'm a liar.
605
00:41:59,827 --> 00:42:01,526
My whole family's laughing at me.
606
00:42:01,528 --> 00:42:03,728
Reverend Harwell gave me
the finger last week.
607
00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:05,096
Okay, okay, you're not happy,
608
00:42:05,098 --> 00:42:06,831
but at least you have
some control over your life.
609
00:42:06,833 --> 00:42:08,799
So do you.
My father controls my life.
610
00:42:09,668 --> 00:42:11,334
You're over 18.
611
00:42:11,336 --> 00:42:13,269
You can tell him to drop dead,
and get on a plane.
612
00:42:13,271 --> 00:42:14,503
So can you.
613
00:42:14,505 --> 00:42:15,637
I don't want to.
614
00:42:17,374 --> 00:42:19,240
I like living at home.
615
00:42:19,242 --> 00:42:20,541
No, you don't.
616
00:42:20,543 --> 00:42:23,410
What am I, a garden snail?
617
00:42:24,513 --> 00:42:26,513
An involuntary muscle in a janitor suit?
618
00:42:26,515 --> 00:42:28,248
I, I know what I want to do.
619
00:42:29,084 --> 00:42:30,683
What could you possibly like
620
00:42:30,685 --> 00:42:33,085
about living at home at your age?
621
00:42:33,087 --> 00:42:37,254
The meals are great. I mean, there's the...
There's cable.
622
00:42:38,690 --> 00:42:41,924
The accommodations
are excellent, five-star.
623
00:42:41,926 --> 00:42:44,046
What do you care if I'm
living at home or not?
624
00:42:45,195 --> 00:42:47,929
Hey, I didn't come here to irritate you.
625
00:42:47,931 --> 00:42:49,597
Well, you're beginning to.
626
00:42:52,868 --> 00:42:55,869
Great.
That's really great.
627
00:42:55,871 --> 00:42:58,872
I gotta stop saying those kinds of things.
628
00:42:58,874 --> 00:43:01,541
Those freakin' kids!
I knew I couldn't trust 'em.
629
00:43:01,543 --> 00:43:04,710
Town liar.
That's a nice rep. Nice rep.
630
00:43:04,712 --> 00:43:06,578
I bet it was Gregory, that little weasel.
631
00:43:06,580 --> 00:43:08,446
Top secret, top secret, I tell 'em,
632
00:43:08,448 --> 00:43:10,214
and they still shoot off their mouths!
633
00:43:10,216 --> 00:43:12,282
If I'd really been a French spy,
634
00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:14,651
those little tots would've gotten me killed!
635
00:43:14,653 --> 00:43:16,619
Piano wire wrapped around my neck.
636
00:43:16,621 --> 00:43:18,287
My testicles shoved down my throat,
637
00:43:18,289 --> 00:43:20,355
a piece of dynamite stuck up my ass.
638
00:43:26,328 --> 00:43:27,693
She's so beautiful.
639
00:43:30,097 --> 00:43:31,663
And I'm the town liar.
640
00:45:15,266 --> 00:45:19,934
Jim, there's no reason to lie right now.
641
00:45:19,936 --> 00:45:22,436
There's no one to impress.
642
00:45:22,438 --> 00:45:24,137
You know, I'm not impressed by a man
643
00:45:24,139 --> 00:45:25,938
telling me he likes living at home.
644
00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:29,341
Excuse me. I'm not lying,
645
00:45:29,343 --> 00:45:31,509
and I'm not trying to impress you.
646
00:45:31,511 --> 00:45:33,711
So, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
647
00:45:33,713 --> 00:45:36,180
I have to clean dead flies
out of the lighting fixtures.
648
00:45:36,182 --> 00:45:39,449
Okay, okay, my error.
I apologize.
649
00:45:39,451 --> 00:45:43,386
It's just that I can't imagine a man,
650
00:45:43,388 --> 00:45:46,755
giving up his independence,
his right to mate,
651
00:45:47,457 --> 00:45:49,290
to have a family,
652
00:45:49,292 --> 00:45:52,726
to have children,
to build a life for himself,
653
00:45:52,728 --> 00:45:53,960
for good cooking.
654
00:45:53,962 --> 00:45:55,294
Hold on.
655
00:45:55,296 --> 00:45:58,130
I have not given up my right to mate.
656
00:45:58,132 --> 00:46:00,465
I have the right to mate
657
00:46:00,467 --> 00:46:03,534
anytime I feel like mating.
658
00:46:04,236 --> 00:46:06,002
You go out with someone.
659
00:46:06,004 --> 00:46:07,803
You bring her home.
660
00:46:07,805 --> 00:46:09,838
You introduce her to...
661
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,907
Mom, Dad, sis, Billy,
662
00:46:13,509 --> 00:46:15,141
Woofie the dog.
663
00:46:15,143 --> 00:46:17,042
Cocktails in the rumpus room, and then
664
00:46:17,911 --> 00:46:19,577
do it on the bunk bed?
665
00:46:21,513 --> 00:46:23,312
Let's analyze that remark.
666
00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:25,847
First, I don't have a dog,
667
00:46:25,849 --> 00:46:27,515
my brother's not named Billy,
668
00:46:27,517 --> 00:46:30,684
and I don't even have a rumpus room.
So I don't even...
669
00:46:30,686 --> 00:46:32,218
You know what I mean.
670
00:46:37,390 --> 00:46:39,957
Yeah, I know what you mean.
671
00:46:41,060 --> 00:46:42,893
Spit on me, make me feel lousy.
672
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,066
Jim?
673
00:46:52,436 --> 00:46:54,669
You said something that wasn't true.
674
00:46:55,538 --> 00:46:57,170
No.
675
00:46:57,172 --> 00:47:01,773
No, I said that I can
have sex when I want to,
676
00:47:01,775 --> 00:47:04,609
and I do. I do.
677
00:47:04,611 --> 00:47:07,677
However, I was looking forward to a
nice, quiet evening of janitoring.
678
00:47:10,348 --> 00:47:12,388
I don't think you see what I'm getting at.
679
00:47:12,850 --> 00:47:14,783
I see what you're getting at.
680
00:47:14,785 --> 00:47:17,385
I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex
681
00:47:17,387 --> 00:47:18,686
and an appetite for home cooking.
682
00:47:18,688 --> 00:47:20,287
Don't forget. You're
the indecisive shoplifter.
683
00:47:20,289 --> 00:47:22,289
Yes! Exactly!
684
00:47:22,291 --> 00:47:24,457
I would do anything to be in your shoes.
685
00:47:25,126 --> 00:47:27,693
These are Darnell's shoes.
686
00:47:27,695 --> 00:47:30,328
You know, you have freedom,
and you're not using it.
687
00:47:31,531 --> 00:47:33,464
It makes me sad.
688
00:47:33,466 --> 00:47:36,033
Well, you have the collective
wealth of the entire town,
689
00:47:36,035 --> 00:47:38,802
and you're trying to get yourself arrested.
Now, that makes me sad.
690
00:47:38,804 --> 00:47:40,870
That makes me sad, too.
691
00:47:40,872 --> 00:47:42,204
That's pretty stupid.
692
00:47:42,206 --> 00:47:43,471
It's very stupid.
693
00:47:44,740 --> 00:47:46,706
Are you serious?
694
00:47:46,708 --> 00:47:48,974
I mean, you haven't been drinking?
695
00:47:48,976 --> 00:47:50,775
This isn't the bottle talking?
696
00:47:51,544 --> 00:47:52,876
No.
697
00:47:53,812 --> 00:47:56,545
Then why don't you just talk to the guy?
698
00:47:58,715 --> 00:48:01,615
For the same reason
that you can't leave home,
699
00:48:01,617 --> 00:48:03,616
I can't tell my father to go to hell.
700
00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:06,685
Why not?
701
00:48:09,423 --> 00:48:12,290
Because I don't want to be alone.
702
00:48:40,017 --> 00:48:41,649
Mr. McClellan?
703
00:48:43,119 --> 00:48:46,186
You ever have any family
problems, you and your daughter?
704
00:48:47,322 --> 00:48:49,354
What the hell do you think this is?
705
00:48:51,191 --> 00:48:52,590
You got a point.
706
00:48:58,464 --> 00:49:00,163
Would you go with me somewhere?
707
00:49:03,134 --> 00:49:04,766
Where?
Florida?
708
00:49:05,435 --> 00:49:07,601
Wyoming? Spain?
709
00:49:07,603 --> 00:49:09,836
It doesn't really matter,
just away somewhere.
710
00:49:11,272 --> 00:49:12,771
I'd love to.
711
00:49:13,507 --> 00:49:16,174
I just can't afford to be
712
00:49:16,176 --> 00:49:18,309
capricious and carefree like yourself.
713
00:49:18,311 --> 00:49:22,078
I, I've gotta set my sights on
something and really go for it.
714
00:49:23,147 --> 00:49:24,613
Night janitor?
715
00:49:25,549 --> 00:49:27,615
It's a beginning.
I'm looking at...
716
00:49:27,617 --> 00:49:29,249
It's an end.
717
00:49:31,786 --> 00:49:33,952
Maybe if you had,
like, a destination in mind,
718
00:49:33,954 --> 00:49:36,220
that would make all the
difference in the world.
719
00:49:37,289 --> 00:49:39,455
Why?
720
00:49:39,457 --> 00:49:41,957
Well, I'm, I'm just not
721
00:49:41,959 --> 00:49:44,326
built to aimlessly roam the world.
722
00:49:44,328 --> 00:49:46,694
I'm too conservative for that.
723
00:49:48,130 --> 00:49:49,996
Well,
724
00:49:49,998 --> 00:49:52,131
I was thinking about Los Angeles.
725
00:49:55,402 --> 00:49:56,634
What for?
726
00:49:56,636 --> 00:49:57,701
Live. Work.
727
00:49:59,404 --> 00:50:01,137
At what?
Whatever.
728
00:50:01,873 --> 00:50:03,973
And what about your father?
729
00:50:05,643 --> 00:50:07,509
When I don't die,
730
00:50:07,511 --> 00:50:10,745
he'll realize that I can make it on my own.
731
00:50:10,747 --> 00:50:14,915
If I do, he'll have the satisfaction
of knowing that I can't.
732
00:50:14,917 --> 00:50:18,318
If I run and he brings me back,
or if I go back on my own,
733
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,019
either way he's just, gonna
beat the shit out of me.
734
00:50:20,021 --> 00:50:21,754
So it doesn't really make a difference.
735
00:50:21,756 --> 00:50:23,222
What, literally?
736
00:50:26,893 --> 00:50:27,958
Yeah.
737
00:50:29,328 --> 00:50:30,660
Sad.
738
00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:32,995
Yeah, it's sad.
739
00:50:32,997 --> 00:50:35,397
Until he throws you
across the room, it's sad.
740
00:50:36,433 --> 00:50:37,999
I'm just afraid to live with him,
741
00:50:38,001 --> 00:50:39,700
and I'm afraid to
live without... You know,
742
00:50:39,702 --> 00:50:42,669
you didn't come to work to hear this stuff.
I'm really sorry.
743
00:50:42,671 --> 00:50:44,003
That's all right.
744
00:50:44,005 --> 00:50:45,237
I'm gonna clean this up.
745
00:50:53,380 --> 00:50:55,446
I'm, I'm just surprised.
746
00:50:55,448 --> 00:50:57,414
I thought everything was okay, you know.
747
00:50:58,350 --> 00:50:59,716
I figured you got a nice car, you got
748
00:50:59,718 --> 00:51:01,017
a nice house, you got some money.
749
00:51:01,019 --> 00:51:02,418
Everything's okay.
750
00:51:02,420 --> 00:51:04,186
It should be,
751
00:51:04,188 --> 00:51:05,787
but it's not.
752
00:51:05,789 --> 00:51:07,855
It's twisted, and it's distorted,
753
00:51:07,857 --> 00:51:10,524
and it can't be changed,
and it cannot be saved.
754
00:51:18,066 --> 00:51:19,465
I'll go with you.
755
00:51:24,772 --> 00:51:26,304
Really?
756
00:51:27,408 --> 00:51:28,707
Yeah.
757
00:51:30,577 --> 00:51:32,209
We have to get a car.
758
00:51:33,579 --> 00:51:35,412
Let's get through the night, first.
759
00:51:35,414 --> 00:51:36,880
I have money.
760
00:51:36,882 --> 00:51:38,047
How much?
761
00:51:38,049 --> 00:51:39,715
$52,000.
762
00:51:42,186 --> 00:51:43,385
On you?
763
00:51:45,055 --> 00:51:46,820
In my purse.
764
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,099
$52,000. Wow.
765
00:52:03,335 --> 00:52:05,668
I've never seen so much money in my life.
766
00:52:05,670 --> 00:52:07,969
This is more than my house cost.
767
00:52:09,339 --> 00:52:11,405
Jim,
768
00:52:11,407 --> 00:52:13,607
now that I'm spending the night,
769
00:52:13,609 --> 00:52:15,275
how can I pay you back
770
00:52:15,277 --> 00:52:17,677
for being so cold to you in high school?
771
00:52:20,515 --> 00:52:22,348
Do you need an answer right away?
772
00:52:22,616 --> 00:52:23,915
No.
773
00:52:24,851 --> 00:52:26,750
Sometime before the sun comes up.
774
00:52:30,121 --> 00:52:31,753
Well,
775
00:52:32,689 --> 00:52:34,689
you're probably not going to remember this,
776
00:52:34,924 --> 00:52:37,190
but,
777
00:52:37,192 --> 00:52:39,792
there was a homecoming dance
our sophomore year.
778
00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:42,360
Do you remember Mrs. Noble?
779
00:52:43,529 --> 00:52:46,196
Large, hairy gym teacher
780
00:52:46,198 --> 00:52:48,064
with a suspiciously cumbersome groin bulge?
781
00:52:48,066 --> 00:52:49,799
I had her for two years.
782
00:52:49,801 --> 00:52:51,300
Well, she made everybody switch partners
783
00:52:51,302 --> 00:52:52,701
because all the fat girls
were dancing together,
784
00:52:52,703 --> 00:52:54,302
and the doinks, myself included,
785
00:52:54,304 --> 00:52:55,870
were standing against the wall,
786
00:52:55,872 --> 00:52:58,072
blowing spit bubbles.
Right.
787
00:52:58,074 --> 00:53:03,844
Well, for three-quarters
of one verse of a slow song,
788
00:53:05,314 --> 00:53:06,680
we danced together.
789
00:53:08,316 --> 00:53:09,715
You reeked of Stridex.
790
00:53:10,884 --> 00:53:12,617
No, that was Larry Fry.
791
00:53:13,886 --> 00:53:15,218
I'm sorry.
792
00:53:16,487 --> 00:53:17,719
I don't remember.
793
00:53:17,721 --> 00:53:19,754
Well...
794
00:53:19,756 --> 00:53:21,689
You got your hair caught in my braces.
795
00:53:22,391 --> 00:53:23,890
I don't remember.
796
00:53:23,892 --> 00:53:25,291
Well, it's not important.
797
00:53:27,828 --> 00:53:29,260
I had...
798
00:53:29,262 --> 00:53:30,894
Well, I just always...
799
00:53:31,963 --> 00:53:33,963
Dreamed of finishing that dance.
800
00:53:37,234 --> 00:53:38,299
Okay.
801
00:53:41,570 --> 00:53:45,171
Don't, don't feel
you have to answer right away.
802
00:53:45,173 --> 00:53:48,641
It's just a small portion
of my life that's incomplete.
803
00:53:48,643 --> 00:53:50,909
I thought you were gonna say
something different.
804
00:53:57,083 --> 00:53:58,582
Well,
805
00:54:00,452 --> 00:54:02,151
first things first.
806
00:54:18,199 --> 00:54:22,233
¶ When things go wrong
807
00:54:23,436 --> 00:54:26,370
¶ As they sometimes will
808
00:54:26,372 --> 00:54:30,941
¶ When the road you're
trudging seems all uphill
809
00:54:34,546 --> 00:54:38,180
¶ When the funds are low
810
00:54:39,516 --> 00:54:42,783
¶ And the debts are high
811
00:54:42,785 --> 00:54:47,687
¶ And you want to smile,
but you have to sigh
812
00:54:51,059 --> 00:54:54,360
¶ When care
813
00:54:54,362 --> 00:54:58,997
¶ Is pressing you down a bit
814
00:54:58,999 --> 00:55:02,033
¶ Rest if you must
815
00:55:05,304 --> 00:55:07,970
¶ But don't you quit
816
00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:12,407
¶ No
817
00:55:13,076 --> 00:55:16,443
¶ Don't you quit
818
00:55:17,979 --> 00:55:19,945
¶ No
819
00:55:35,395 --> 00:55:39,696
¶ But you never can tell
820
00:55:39,698 --> 00:55:44,033
¶ How close you are
821
00:55:44,035 --> 00:55:49,638
¶ It may be near when it seems so far.
822
00:57:06,006 --> 00:57:07,638
Officer Don!
823
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:09,906
You scared the crap out of me.
824
00:57:09,908 --> 00:57:12,408
I thought it was the custodian.
825
00:57:12,410 --> 00:57:14,510
Jim, what are you doing in there?
826
00:57:14,512 --> 00:57:16,478
I work here now.
827
00:57:21,584 --> 00:57:23,650
You wanna let me in?
828
00:57:23,652 --> 00:57:26,819
I'd love to let you in.
I don't have the keys.
829
00:57:26,821 --> 00:57:28,654
I'm locked in
here till 7:00 a.m.
830
00:57:29,156 --> 00:57:30,688
What's going on?
831
00:57:30,690 --> 00:57:32,923
Have you seen Josie McClellan?
832
00:57:34,359 --> 00:57:36,692
Of course...
833
00:57:37,494 --> 00:57:41,094
Dark hair, green eyes, beautiful.
834
00:57:41,096 --> 00:57:42,495
Yeah. Of course.
835
00:57:42,497 --> 00:57:43,762
You seen her recently?
836
00:57:45,599 --> 00:57:49,100
Matter of fact, I just
saw her yesterday, yeah.
837
00:57:49,102 --> 00:57:51,335
We had a cup of java together.
838
00:57:51,337 --> 00:57:53,537
She come into the store?
839
00:57:53,539 --> 00:57:56,106
I don't know.
I only work nights.
840
00:57:56,108 --> 00:57:58,074
Why?
Well,
841
00:57:59,210 --> 00:58:01,043
she's missing.
842
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:04,780
Now, I was looking around this side
of town for her and I come past.
843
00:58:04,782 --> 00:58:07,682
I seen that the outside sign's on.
844
00:58:07,684 --> 00:58:10,084
The outside sign's never on.
845
00:58:10,653 --> 00:58:12,452
Yeah. Yeah.
846
00:58:12,454 --> 00:58:14,187
Did you try the library?
847
00:58:14,189 --> 00:58:16,588
Because, you know,
maybe she fell asleep reading.
848
00:58:17,824 --> 00:58:19,557
No.
849
00:58:19,559 --> 00:58:22,860
She's probably just screwing somebody
the old man don't approve of.
850
00:58:28,633 --> 00:58:30,065
Would you know...
851
00:58:30,067 --> 00:58:34,468
If the custodian comes by
to check up on people?
852
00:58:34,470 --> 00:58:37,304
No, I wouldn't think he'd do that, Jimmy.
853
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,407
I feel pretty good now.
854
00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:51,183
I'm sorry, sir.
855
00:58:51,185 --> 00:58:53,485
I had to practice a little therapy.
856
00:58:54,154 --> 00:58:55,887
Boy's in his own world.
857
01:01:28,940 --> 01:01:30,820
Why don't we get underneath the bench?
858
01:01:34,078 --> 01:01:35,744
Do you want to get on top?
859
01:01:44,087 --> 01:01:46,320
You check the office.
I'll scope the dressing rooms.
860
01:01:46,322 --> 01:01:47,821
Right.
861
01:01:56,330 --> 01:01:57,828
You're on top.
862
01:02:00,098 --> 01:02:01,464
Did you want to be on top?
863
01:02:01,466 --> 01:02:03,332
No.
864
01:02:03,334 --> 01:02:06,001
No, no, I'm fine where I am.
865
01:02:06,269 --> 01:02:07,668
Sure.
866
01:02:46,139 --> 01:02:48,072
I think he went to the back.
867
01:02:59,752 --> 01:03:01,485
Evening.
868
01:03:05,390 --> 01:03:07,690
Nice.
869
01:03:07,692 --> 01:03:09,525
Excellent.
870
01:03:09,527 --> 01:03:12,827
Hey, you got a tattoo?
871
01:03:15,264 --> 01:03:16,429
No, sir.
872
01:03:16,431 --> 01:03:17,997
Not you, asshole!
873
01:03:17,999 --> 01:03:20,065
I'm a missing person.
874
01:03:20,067 --> 01:03:22,700
The whole town is looking for me.
875
01:03:22,702 --> 01:03:25,669
What, are you hidin' out?
Yes.
876
01:03:25,671 --> 01:03:28,038
And I would appreciate
it if you'd let us sit up.
877
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:29,939
What about the tattoo?
878
01:03:30,775 --> 01:03:32,841
I don't have one.
879
01:03:32,843 --> 01:03:34,175
You owe me a buck.
880
01:03:34,177 --> 01:03:35,609
Actually, it's up to two.
881
01:03:35,611 --> 01:03:38,445
I borrowed that one off you at Burger King.
882
01:03:38,447 --> 01:03:40,079
Excuse me.
883
01:03:41,615 --> 01:03:44,015
Are you planning to shoot us
in the back of the head?
884
01:03:44,017 --> 01:03:46,750
We haven't decided yet, have we?
885
01:03:48,353 --> 01:03:49,752
Who are you?
886
01:03:49,754 --> 01:03:52,521
You don't want to know.
887
01:03:52,523 --> 01:03:54,956
He wouldn't have asked if he
didn't want to know, butthead.
888
01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:56,924
He's a little crazy.
He's my brother.
889
01:03:56,926 --> 01:03:58,926
He's not quite right.
That's not true.
890
01:03:59,428 --> 01:04:00,860
She doesn't even know me.
891
01:04:00,862 --> 01:04:02,428
Somebody better start talking straight here.
892
01:04:02,430 --> 01:04:03,929
That's the truth.
893
01:04:04,197 --> 01:04:06,129
Okay.
894
01:04:08,366 --> 01:04:09,965
You want to know?
895
01:04:11,034 --> 01:04:12,933
Okay, good.
896
01:04:13,368 --> 01:04:15,134
But...
897
01:04:16,303 --> 01:04:18,336
Come on over here.
898
01:04:19,205 --> 01:04:21,738
- What?
- Come on over.
899
01:04:21,740 --> 01:04:23,706
Come on over here! Over here.
900
01:04:41,324 --> 01:04:43,123
Come on down here.
901
01:04:46,094 --> 01:04:47,854
That's right.
Down here. Down here.
902
01:04:50,764 --> 01:04:52,130
Okay.
903
01:04:53,666 --> 01:04:56,133
You dumb sons of bitches.
904
01:04:57,136 --> 01:05:00,170
Do you realize that you have just walked
905
01:05:00,172 --> 01:05:03,739
straight into a $60-million
drug transaction?
906
01:05:06,442 --> 01:05:07,774
So, you're running this
907
01:05:07,776 --> 01:05:11,277
multi-zillion-dollar
drug transaction by yourself?
908
01:05:11,279 --> 01:05:13,112
Little Target boy.
909
01:05:13,114 --> 01:05:15,247
No.
910
01:05:15,249 --> 01:05:17,916
No, I'm not doing it by myself.
911
01:05:17,918 --> 01:05:19,550
No, no.
912
01:05:20,786 --> 01:05:22,218
As a matter of fact,
913
01:05:23,754 --> 01:05:25,754
in about 10 minutes,
914
01:05:25,756 --> 01:05:28,957
this place is gonna be
alive with the meanest,
915
01:05:28,959 --> 01:05:32,527
ugliest, most impatient animals
you guys have ever seen.
916
01:05:32,529 --> 01:05:35,930
So I'll tell you what, I'll
give you five minutes to take
917
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:38,632
whatever you want in the whole store.
Anything you want and just go.
918
01:05:38,634 --> 01:05:41,600
I won't tell. Just go. Just
take your guns and go. Scoot.
919
01:05:42,336 --> 01:05:44,068
Okay, then, who's the girl?
920
01:05:46,439 --> 01:05:47,671
I'm his hostage.
921
01:05:47,673 --> 01:05:48,838
Yes, yes.
922
01:05:49,941 --> 01:05:52,942
Is that true?
923
01:05:52,944 --> 01:05:55,344
Yes! Yes, it's true.
924
01:05:55,779 --> 01:05:57,545
And...
925
01:06:00,650 --> 01:06:02,750
If the deal doesn't go down,
926
01:06:03,385 --> 01:06:04,784
she becomes pig feed.
927
01:06:04,786 --> 01:06:05,951
Bullshit.
928
01:06:06,386 --> 01:06:07,852
Really?
929
01:06:10,823 --> 01:06:12,022
Well, blow her away.
930
01:06:12,024 --> 01:06:14,124
Come on, that's bullshit!
931
01:06:15,460 --> 01:06:16,892
Okay.
932
01:06:18,295 --> 01:06:21,728
Then give me your guns
and I'll do it for you.
933
01:06:22,897 --> 01:06:24,029
It's bullshit, right?
934
01:06:25,665 --> 01:06:27,097
We'll see.
935
01:06:29,701 --> 01:06:31,333
Roll over.
936
01:06:31,335 --> 01:06:32,834
Come on, you heard him.
What?
937
01:06:32,836 --> 01:06:34,869
Roll over!
That's right. You too, honey.
938
01:06:34,871 --> 01:06:37,238
You heard me.
Roll over. Come on, do it!
939
01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:40,974
Come on, come on! Roll! Roll.
That's it. Very good.
940
01:06:40,976 --> 01:06:44,310
Yeah.
941
01:06:44,312 --> 01:06:47,246
Give me the guns.
942
01:06:48,983 --> 01:06:50,515
No way, man..
943
01:06:50,517 --> 01:06:52,250
Fine. Fine.
944
01:06:52,252 --> 01:06:54,385
You do it. I don't
need her anymore, anyway.
945
01:06:55,721 --> 01:06:57,420
I only needed her to get through customs.
946
01:06:57,422 --> 01:06:59,088
I don't like this.
947
01:06:59,090 --> 01:07:00,756
This sucks. It's not worth it.
948
01:07:00,758 --> 01:07:02,324
Come on, we don't
have much time. Do it!
949
01:07:02,326 --> 01:07:03,758
All right.
950
01:07:07,597 --> 01:07:09,330
It's nothing personal.
951
01:07:09,332 --> 01:07:11,092
Jim!
Too late. They're here!
952
01:07:13,001 --> 01:07:14,500
It's too late. They're here.
953
01:07:14,502 --> 01:07:16,262
Men, hold your fire.
Hold the fire.
954
01:07:16,870 --> 01:07:18,769
Ned in housewares, hold your fire.
955
01:07:18,771 --> 01:07:20,570
Tommy in sporting goods, hold your fire.
956
01:07:20,572 --> 01:07:21,904
Ned, hold your fire.
957
01:07:21,906 --> 01:07:24,273
There are infrared scopes
trained on your heads.
958
01:07:24,275 --> 01:07:25,841
We didn't want this!
959
01:07:25,843 --> 01:07:27,523
It's the girl you want, not us!
960
01:07:28,412 --> 01:07:29,844
Just relax, okay.
Ned, we got a WD-40.
961
01:07:29,846 --> 01:07:31,345
That's right.
A full-scale PMS.
962
01:07:31,347 --> 01:07:33,046
Okay, everybody, just relax!
963
01:07:33,048 --> 01:07:35,915
Now, now, everybody just relax.
964
01:07:35,917 --> 01:07:37,683
Okay, the whole place is gonna blow.
965
01:07:37,685 --> 01:07:38,850
Everybody just relax.
966
01:07:38,852 --> 01:07:40,685
Now, put down your guns.
Put the guns down.
967
01:07:40,687 --> 01:07:42,219
Ned, they're putting down the guns.
968
01:07:42,221 --> 01:07:43,920
Are you putting them down?
They are putting them down.
969
01:07:43,922 --> 01:07:46,355
Now, get down, 'cause
lives are at stake here.
970
01:07:46,357 --> 01:07:49,757
Let go. Let go, let go.
Now, get back, get back.
971
01:07:51,193 --> 01:07:54,627
Spread 'em. Spread the legs.
Put down the dogs.
972
01:07:54,629 --> 01:07:57,196
Okay, put the dogs down.
Put the dogs down.
973
01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:59,631
Both of 'em!
Put the dogs down! Down!
974
01:08:01,368 --> 01:08:03,234
That was great!
975
01:08:03,236 --> 01:08:04,969
I got a big surprise for you guys.
976
01:08:04,971 --> 01:08:07,804
We have a bit of a surprise for you, too.
977
01:08:09,308 --> 01:08:11,074
Them guns aren't loaded.
978
01:08:21,551 --> 01:08:23,350
I got an idea.
979
01:08:23,352 --> 01:08:25,318
How about a truce?
980
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:28,321
I'm full of shit.
You're full of shit.
981
01:08:28,323 --> 01:08:31,057
I think everybody at one time
in their life is full of shit.
982
01:08:31,059 --> 01:08:32,658
I'll throw on a couple of corn dogs
983
01:08:32,660 --> 01:08:34,760
and we'll all get to know each other.
984
01:08:34,762 --> 01:08:37,062
I'd like to know what
goes on inside your heads.
985
01:08:37,064 --> 01:08:39,364
Okay, you had the big one, you had the...
986
01:08:39,366 --> 01:08:41,032
No.
987
01:08:41,034 --> 01:08:42,914
Sorry. I could've
sworn you had the big one.
988
01:08:47,072 --> 01:08:49,105
I lied.
989
01:08:52,910 --> 01:08:55,943
These are the men that
killed that guy in Saltburg.
990
01:08:57,046 --> 01:08:59,413
I'm fairly sure that we're gonna die.
991
01:08:59,415 --> 01:09:01,214
I just want to tell
you how disappointed I am
992
01:09:01,216 --> 01:09:03,015
that we're not going to California together.
993
01:09:03,017 --> 01:09:04,750
We're not dead yet.
994
01:09:05,853 --> 01:09:08,520
Pretty darn close.
No.
995
01:09:08,522 --> 01:09:11,122
If I can get them to take me with them,
996
01:09:11,124 --> 01:09:13,524
maybe I can get away and come back for you.
997
01:09:13,526 --> 01:09:16,259
Don't forget we need a car
and they obviously have one.
998
01:09:17,629 --> 01:09:19,562
Just...
999
01:09:19,564 --> 01:09:20,963
Go along with whatever I do, okay?
1000
01:09:20,965 --> 01:09:22,331
Okay.
1001
01:09:34,711 --> 01:09:36,744
So, what's the word on you two?
1002
01:09:36,746 --> 01:09:40,447
Are you married?
Obviously, you're...
1003
01:09:40,449 --> 01:09:43,716
Hack crooks if you can't pull
off a discount store job.
1004
01:09:45,786 --> 01:09:48,453
What were you planning to steal?
A little hair spray?
1005
01:09:52,957 --> 01:09:54,022
Sorry.
1006
01:09:58,227 --> 01:09:59,459
Lady, you got a job?
1007
01:10:01,563 --> 01:10:03,062
No.
1008
01:10:03,064 --> 01:10:04,463
Well, then don't knock ours.
1009
01:10:05,432 --> 01:10:07,565
Crime isn't a job.
It's a sickness.
1010
01:10:12,571 --> 01:10:13,903
Whoops.
1011
01:10:14,805 --> 01:10:16,070
Anyone have some change?
1012
01:10:27,949 --> 01:10:30,916
You look like a lady in need of a quarter.
1013
01:10:30,918 --> 01:10:33,250
I might need more than just a quarter.
1014
01:10:35,921 --> 01:10:38,621
You know...
No.
1015
01:10:38,623 --> 01:10:40,489
You and I could make a lot of money.
1016
01:10:40,491 --> 01:10:43,425
Honey, me and Nestor are partners.
1017
01:10:43,427 --> 01:10:45,527
Okay? We don't need a third.
1018
01:10:45,529 --> 01:10:48,062
You don't know what you need,
so why don't you shut up?
1019
01:10:51,467 --> 01:10:53,500
Hop on.
1020
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:11,346
Now.
1021
01:11:11,981 --> 01:11:13,714
Let's go now.
1022
01:11:15,150 --> 01:11:16,382
Know what you are?
1023
01:11:16,384 --> 01:11:17,516
Yeah.
1024
01:11:17,518 --> 01:11:20,418
You are one
good-looking ball of trouble.
1025
01:11:23,623 --> 01:11:24,855
Good.
1026
01:12:02,027 --> 01:12:03,493
What do you think, for the car?
1027
01:12:03,495 --> 01:12:05,061
This one?
1028
01:12:05,063 --> 01:12:08,330
No, the whole thing. We'll
just lay it down in the back.
1029
01:12:08,332 --> 01:12:10,398
We got
multi-cassette capabilities.
1030
01:12:10,400 --> 01:12:11,899
Think of the sound.
1031
01:12:39,227 --> 01:12:42,361
Let me just tell you. I'm not
helping you load your car.
1032
01:12:42,363 --> 01:12:44,229
Think again, boy.
1033
01:12:44,231 --> 01:12:48,032
You're not going to take the stolen
merchandise out of the store. No.
1034
01:12:48,034 --> 01:12:49,199
I'm not gonna let you.
1035
01:12:49,201 --> 01:12:50,700
Get out.
1036
01:12:50,702 --> 01:12:51,867
It's stolen. All of it!
1037
01:12:51,869 --> 01:12:53,034
- Give me that!
- No!
1038
01:12:53,036 --> 01:12:55,036
It's mine!
Give it to me!
1039
01:12:55,038 --> 01:12:56,370
It's mine.
1040
01:13:00,808 --> 01:13:03,108
But where... Wait a minute.
1041
01:13:06,546 --> 01:13:07,878
You're not going with them?
1042
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:09,145
Yeah.
1043
01:13:10,214 --> 01:13:11,946
You'll be an accessory.
1044
01:13:13,549 --> 01:13:15,715
So?
1045
01:13:15,717 --> 01:13:17,717
So? You don't know
anything about them.
1046
01:13:17,719 --> 01:13:19,719
You certainly don't know anything about him.
1047
01:13:19,721 --> 01:13:21,220
These are hardened criminals here!
1048
01:13:21,222 --> 01:13:23,322
Okay, come here. That's enough.
That's enough!
1049
01:13:23,324 --> 01:13:24,389
Gil.
1050
01:13:26,793 --> 01:13:29,460
Don't waste your time.
You could get a hernia.
1051
01:13:29,462 --> 01:13:31,628
You know, if my foot could talk,
1052
01:13:31,630 --> 01:13:34,631
it would say, "May I please
go up this geek's ass?"
1053
01:13:34,633 --> 01:13:35,832
Forget him!
Forget him.
1054
01:13:35,834 --> 01:13:37,466
Come on! All right.
1055
01:13:37,468 --> 01:13:40,235
He's no use to us. After all,
the guy's built like an oyster.
1056
01:13:40,237 --> 01:13:41,802
Listen, little mister.
1057
01:13:44,439 --> 01:13:46,105
If you tell on us,
1058
01:13:46,107 --> 01:13:47,473
I'll kill you.
1059
01:13:53,446 --> 01:13:54,711
Fine.
1060
01:13:59,783 --> 01:14:01,649
Jim.
1061
01:14:10,158 --> 01:14:11,757
Don't be an ass.
1062
01:14:14,428 --> 01:14:16,994
Okay, Jimbo?
1063
01:14:19,098 --> 01:14:20,897
Let's go, shall we?
1064
01:14:50,860 --> 01:14:52,259
Come on, come on, come on!
1065
01:15:10,841 --> 01:15:13,374
I got 'em.
I got 'em. I got 'em.
1066
01:16:36,723 --> 01:16:39,490
That wasn't a store robbery.
1067
01:16:39,492 --> 01:16:41,825
That was an assassination.
1068
01:16:41,827 --> 01:16:43,893
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
1069
01:16:44,729 --> 01:16:46,829
How do I know?
1070
01:16:46,831 --> 01:16:50,165
I spent a little time with the
FBI's organized crime unit.
1071
01:16:50,167 --> 01:16:52,133
I guess you could say that
I'm intimately knowledgeable
1072
01:16:52,135 --> 01:16:54,001
with the seedy and rancorous
workings of the mob
1073
01:16:54,003 --> 01:16:56,770
in the Midwest section of this country.
1074
01:16:56,772 --> 01:16:59,639
Let me just say, I know a
gangland slaying when I see one,
1075
01:16:59,641 --> 01:17:01,641
and that's exactly what this baby is.
1076
01:17:03,277 --> 01:17:07,012
I'd look into myself personally,
but I got a date tonight.
1077
01:17:15,588 --> 01:17:17,553
Attention Target shoppers.
1078
01:18:05,398 --> 01:18:06,830
Jim!
1079
01:19:01,786 --> 01:19:04,353
He is so cool.