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(BIRDS CALL, CICADAS CHIRP)
(DRAMATIC NOTE)
(BIRD CALLS)
(ROOSTER CROWS)
(CHICKEN CLUCKS)
(LAID-BACK MUSIC)
(HAMMERING)
(THUD!)
(SPRAY HISSES)
(ROOSTER CROWS IN DISTANCE)
Sole.
(ROOSTER CROWS)
(MAN GRUNTS)
Sole,...
Popo. Popo! Sh!
(SIGHS)
(POPO SIGHS)
- Oh. - (SPITS)
Trying to make things better.
- He never listens. - Ah, I almost got it.
Come plant it yourself.
(OMINOUS NOTES)
(SPEAKS SAMOAN)
(BONES CLICK, POPO GRUNTS)
(SAMOAN DRUMMING)
(POPO GASPS, GRUNTS)
(POPO GRUNTS, COUGHS)
(CASH REGISTER DINGS) - Sorry, sorry.
(CASH REGISTER DINGS) - Sorry, wrong note.
(MAN GRUNTS)
(ROOSTER CROWS)
(HORN BEEPS)
Sole, are you guys not going?
(HISSES)
Hurry up!
(ENERGETIC ISLAND DRUMMING)
(GASPS)
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh,...
Uh, Popo,...
- Mm. - Ah.
Mm.
Yeah.
(UPBEAT UKULELE MUSIC)
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
Why should we pick you to become a seasonal worker?
I'm a heavy lifter.
I'm from a poor family.
Just wanna be a rich family.
You don't know this about me, but, uh,
I'm a really good guy.
Go to church every Sunday, Saturday.
You know, every day.
Cos I'm strong and handsome.
I come bearing gifts.
That's for you.
Just gonna leave that there.
How's your English?
Come on, mate, mate, mate.
How's my English?!
You can't hear my English?
Are you married or have children?
Never in my life.
Single, just mingle.
No, I'm not married...
any more.
- Do you do drugs? - Panadol, yeah. Drugs, no.
- No. - No.
No?
Will you do drugs?
Ah, sorry, sir. I don't have a truck.
I only have a bike, drive around town.
(DOOR CREAKS)
When the sun get up, I'm up.
When the sun go down, I don't go down; I stay up.
I'm an honest person,
and I love my family.
New Zealand can be dangerous,
and I'm wiling to do what it takes to look after my people.
Hi-yah! Hi-yah!
Sig-tah! Hi-yah!
When the season is finished, will you come back to Samoa?
Yeah. Build a new house, make a business.
Do the work, eh, to take it back to Samoa.
You guys gonna call me?
Y- Nuh- It's OK.
Thank you for sending me back to New Zealand.
- Oi, don't forget your money. - Oh, it's not mine.
Sure my one was green, but... (CHUCKLES)
Hi-yah! Hut-zah!
Hut-zah! Nah, jokes. (CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES RHYTHMICALLY)
(ROOSTER CROWS, BIRDS TWEET)
(POPO YELLS)
(PANTS)
'Dear, Popo, congratulations...'
Yeah! (PANTS)
'Dear Alama, congratulations.
'You've been accepted in our sch-' (LAUGHS)
Sole,... (PANTS) Lama, we're going to New Zealand!
(POPO WHOOPS)
(LAUGHS) We're going to New Zealand!
We're going! Whoo!
(PEOPLE CHATTER, LAUGH)
(SPEAKS SAMOAN, SOBS)
(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)
(LOUDSPEAKER ANNOUNCEMENT IN SAMOAN)
Samoa Airways flight OL71 bound for Auckland
is now officially closed. Thank you.
(UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)
(MAN WHOOPS)
(ENGINES ROAR)
(UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES)
(PHONE RINGS)
Bob Titilo, private investigator.
Don't worry. I will find him.
OK, have a good night.
(LAUGHS, SIGHS)
- Not on my watch. (LAUGHS) - What watch? (LAUGHS)
(ALL LAUGH, CHATTER)
- He can't even afford one. - (LAUGHTER)
- Grey Goose. - (LAUGHTER)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH)
Alfriston. (SPEAKS SAMOAN)
You're coming with me. Your presence has been requested.
(CHUCKLES) Is your name Alfriston?
- My dad's name. - (LAUGHS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Don't worry. I got this, boys.
Ss.
SOFTLY: Why'd you say my name?
See, this is what I hate, man. People come looking for me,
saying my full name like that. It's Alf, aiit?
(GRUNTING)
- Suck it in, big fulla. - (COUGHS)
Boys, remember that sleeper I was talkin' about?
Nice and gentle around the neck, right?
And just squeeze. Just squeeze. There you go.
Ha, ha! I got you right where I wanted you.
Right here.
(SNORING)
Sole! Uh, boys!
Boys!
(SNORES)
Let's gap it!
(SNORING CONTINUES)
(COUGHS, GRUNTS)
Room for improvement. Mm.
Oh, another five minutes won't hurt. (SIGHS)
¶ Honey.
¶ Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
¶ Land of milk and honey. ¶
Lama.
Lama. Lama!
Ooh!
(MAN SPEAKS SAMOAN)
(MEN LAUGH, CHATTER)
The Sky Tower.
(MAN SPEAKS SAMOAN)
Whoa!
- Wow! - (ALL EXCLAIM)
(COW MOOS)
(MEN CHATTER IN SAMOAN)
(LAID-BACK ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)
(ALL CHATTER IN SAMOAN)
Yeah, we just can't find enough people locally.
I mean, there's more work than there is interest.
So being able to fly in workers as and when we need
means that we can keep operating profitably
and without any long-term strain on the infrastructure.
And how do you keep these workers motivated?
Oh, they're self-motivated. If a worker breaks the rules,
decides to depart without permission,
that's gonna have consequences for their families.
You see, most of the workers in this group,
they're earning their money for a year.
Is it all right if we go and talk to them?
Yeah, sure.
(MEN LAUGH, CHATTER)
- Hey, Popo! - Sole.
I just wanted to grab a few words.
Uh, you want me to look into your eyes?
Just be natural.
(MEN LAUGH IN BACKGROUND)
- This is my natural. - (ALL EXCLAIM, LAUGH)
OK. Uh, Popo, can you just tell me
what you get from coming to New Zealand and picking fruit?
Uh, yeah. I... get the...
I get the money.
Hm.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Yep. Thank you. - (SPEAKS SAMOAN)
Probably... Can we grab another one? Yeah.
(MEN CHATTER)
- Hey, uh, Alama! - Lama.
So, what sorts of things do you buy?
Um, things for the kids, for their school.
And maybe a fridge
and a car to help my dad with the plantation.
And I wanna say thank you to Sir Tony
for the opportunity and, uh,
wish I'll come back and work here again.
- Fa'afetai lava. - Thank you.
Yeah, really nice. Thank you. We got a good one here.
If you were a kiwi fruit, I would pick you.
(MEN LAUGH) - Th-Thank you.
- Yeah. Fa. - See you later.
- MAN: Marry me for your visa! (LAUGHTER)
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(POPO CHUCKLES)
(SOFT CHATTER)
(PENCIL SCRATCHES SOFTLY)
(CLEARS THROAT, VELCRO RIPS)
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
(SIGHS, SPEAKS SAMOAN)
(SIGHS)
(LAWNMOWER WHIRRS)
(GROANS)
Popo.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Popo?
Popo!
Popo?
Popo?!
If you're gonna make your plane, you're gonna have to go now.
I'm not gonna go back home with nothing.
But we'll do everything we can to find him and your money.
But even if you find him,
you won't be able to get the money off him.
You don't know New Zealand.
How you going to find him?
(MEN CHATTER IN SAMOAN)
(TYRES CRUNCH ON GRAVEL)
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Hello.
(OMINOUS NOTE)
(BEEP!)
(PHONE RINGS)
I think it's a New Zealand number.
Hello.
Oh, Alama!
Let's not waste time. Let's get a professional.
And who's gonna pay for it?
Well, my son can help.
(ALL LAUGH)
He's a private investigator.
And he can start now.
Bob!
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(CUPS RATTLE, PEOPLE GASP)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(YAWNS)
Bob, why are you the furniture?
Uncle, I'm trying to practise my private investigation skills.
You know, like my stealth movement.
(LAUGHTER) - Never mind.
What skill?
(GRUNTS)
- Thanks, Mum. - Don't touch.
Look at you! Go and put those clothes
I've got on your bed for you to wear, son.
- Mum. - Don't just stand there.
Go do as you're told.
I'm 40, Mum. I know what I'm doing.
Do you really?
(HEROIC MUSIC)
- Son! (NEEDLE SCRATCHES)
Don't stand there. You're running late.
- Yeah. - Come on.
Thanks, Mum.
- And, son,... - Yeah.
...please stay away from...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. - All right.
- Love you, Mum. - Love you too.
- You have a nice day. - K.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Everyday Samoan language, volume one.
When you meet someone, you can ask them...
(PLAYFUL MUSIC)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Tony Green.
Bob Titilo, private investigator.
Yeah, Alama said you'd be coming.
It's incredibly unfortunate, what happened.
Oh, the audacity is off the Richter!
Ah. Oh, look, here's Alama.
- Talofa lava. - Oh, talofa lava.
Thank you so much for coming.
And I'm really sorry for this burden.
Oh, look, it's no problem.
I'm sure I'll have everything wrapped up by tomorrow.
Oh, cool.
Now, this Popo, he's related to...
to you?
He's my brother. Not by blood - I'm adopted -
but we were raised together.
So are you sure he took the money?
Oh, yes, very sure.
How do you know?
He's the only one not going back to the island.
And he's been acting strange.
I... I think he's been planning this for a while.
Why did you have the money in cash?
- I was going to buy something. - Like what?
Just things for my family back in the island.
OK.
Tony, is it OK if we check the accommodation?
- Yeah, sure. - Thanks, mate.
- Right this way, sir. - Yep.
And we'll check in here first.
Need to look for some evidence.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(TENSE MUSIC)
Just what I thought.
I'm bagging it for evidence.
(BLOWS)
What about this?
What's 'evidence' in Samoan?
That's not evitesei.
- Evelegi. - Evelantage.
Oh, here.
Please, Alama, try not to help.
Cos you're really not, OK?
- Which one is Popo's bed? - It's this one.
(SNORES)
- These must be Popo's. - Yeah.
Evidence.
Tony, may I dust for fingerprints?
Whatever you need, Bob.
- ALAMA: Do you need help? - No. There's special training.
(SWISHING)
(CHUCKLES) Just what I thought.
Can I ask you - why are we doing this?
Because I have to get into Popo's mind.
Who am I? How am I? Which am I?
What am I?
Before I know - where am I.
Is that him?!
- That's a tree. - Exactly.
You see, we have to know where he isn't...
in order to know where he is.
Wow. Look at the wingspan of those toes.
You can definitely tell those are Samoan footprints.
Alama, lavalava.
If I was Popo...
If I am Popo...
I would've gone...
that way.
Tony, thanks for your help, mate.
- I'll take it from here. - OK, mate.
Alama, we're gonna go on a forest walk.
I hope you're ready.
My body's conditioned for it.
(PEACEFUL MUSIC)
Do you really think Popo came through this way?
If I was Popo, I'd be avoiding all the main roads.
Do you recognise that man?
No.
But that's my lavalava.
OK. Leave the talking to me.
Hey, mate. How's it going?
- Talofa. - Talofa lava.
- I am Alama. - Bob Titilo.
- I'm Gareth. - Oh, Gazza!
Gazza, we're looking for a Samoan b-
Popo.
He gave me his lavalava, so I gave him a discount on a ride.
Where to?
Just a loop around the forest track in a 4-wheel drive.
- Are you two keen? - Yes.
We need to go through what he went through.
(LAUGHTER)
- Selfie time! - (CELL PHONE CLICKS)
So people pay for a bumpy ride?
Yeah. Something different, eh?
Any idea where he went to after this?
Uh, yeah. He wanted to go riding.
(CLICK!)
- Horsey. - Why am I doing this?
Because we need to get into his head.
Why did Popo ride a horse?
What can the horse tell us?
Where did Popo go?
Was it the TAB?
Did he try and eat you?
Are you sure you don't wanna ride?
Uh, do you wanna broke-back horse?
(HORSE NEIGHS)
So what's the horse saying, then?
The horse is saying...
(HORSE NEIGHS) - ...mountain.
- Horse guide lady. - My name's Sharon.
Shazza! Is there a mountain nearby?
Yeah. There's one just out that way.
Is there a smaller mountain?
Preferably one that's flat.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Look.
You see these dents on the ground?
Nordic.
What's a Nordic?
Shh.
Nordic. One in this hand, one in the other hand...
Yeah.
(PANTS) Alama, hurry up.
(BOTH PANT)
(GROANS)
(COUGHS)
(BOTH GROAN)
(COUGHS)
We're getting nowhere.
You sure Popo came through this way?
Yes. The horse wouldn't lie to me.
Whoa, that is so beautiful.
- It's a nice view up here. - Yeah.
That was way chill a walk than I thought.
Yeah.
Are you all right?
(MAGICAL TINKLING)
Looks like you need some hydration.
Thank you.
So, where are you guys from?
I'm from Samoa.
Samoa? That is definitely on my list of places I wanna visit.
Oh, yes, please. Where you from?
I'm English. But my dad's Scottish and my mum's Irish, so.
Irish? I'm Irish too.
Really?
Yeah. 'Irish' you're my girlfriend.
(LAUGHS) That's cute.
Yeah. And why would Popo be coming up here?
ECHOES: Nordic poles. Easy for walking. See you.
- I'm Bob. - Kelly.
It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance,
especially in a setting that's almost as beautiful as you.
May I ask you a question?
Uh, OK.
You know, we've just finished a five-hour trek.
- Two hours? - Yep, two-hour trek.
What would you do next?
Uh... Well, we'll probably grab a cold one.
- Oh, an ice block? - (CHUCKLES)
- Where from? - There's a place close by.
Oh, nice.
(DARK MUSIC)
(DARK MUSIC CONTINUES)
(PEOPLE CHATTER)
Hi, how are you? How's it going?
Can I speak with your manager, please?
(OMINOUS NOTE)
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHS) Free drinks for anyone that can beat me.
So you're the manager.
I could be.
I got a few questions I need to ask you.
- You police? - No.
But I'm looking for a Samoan man, mid-20s, not local.
But he looks like this.
It'll cost you.
How much?
- 500. - (SCOFFS)
That's a little bit over my budget.
No deal.
What...
if I...
could beat...
you?
(CHUCKLES)
You think...
that you...
can beat...
me?
(LAUGHS)
- I've got something better. - Oh?
(PLAYS GUITAR)
(WHOOSH!)
¶ Ona o'o mai lea o le oti,
¶ i le le fa'autauta,
¶ pulea e le Atua i mea uma. ¶
(PLAYS SPANISH-STYLE RIFF)
¶ Ona o'o mai lea o le oti,
¶ i le le fa'autauta,
¶ pulea e le Atua i mea uma. ¶
(CHEERING)
(PLAYS SPANISH-STYLE RIFF)
(PLAYS RIFF IN A HIGHER KEY)
- (LAUGHTER) - (PLAYS RIFF IN A LOWER KEY)
¶ Ona o'o mai lea o le oti,
¶ i le le fa'autauta,...
OK.
¶ pulea e le Atua i mea uma. ¶
(HUMS IN HIGHER KEY) Yeah, I got this, I got this.
SINGS IN A HIGHER KEY: ¶ Ona o'o mai lea o le oti,
- ¶ i le le fa'autauta,... (CHEERING)
¶ pulea e le Atua i mea uma. ¶
SINGS IN A HIGHER KEY: ¶ Ona o'o mai lea o le oti,
¶ i le le fa'autauta,...
- Right, boss. - Yeah.
- ¶ pulea e le Atua i mea uma. ¶ - Who's the boss here?
- I'm the boss. - Let's do this!
- Let's do this. - Shirts off!
(PEOPLE CHEER, CLAP)
SINGS IN A HIGHER KEY: ¶ Ona o'o mai lea o le oti,
- ¶ i le le fa'autauta... ¶ - (WILD CHEERING)
SINGS IN A HIGHER KEY: ¶ ... lea o le oti,
- ¶ i le le fa'autauta,... - (APPLAUSE)
- ¶ pulea e le Atua i mea uma. ¶
HUSKILY: ¶ Aahh. Aaahh. ¶
¶ Aahh. ¶
SINGS IN A HIGHER KEY: ¶ Ona o'o mai lea o le oti,
- ¶ i le le fa'autau... (VOICE CRACKS)
(CHUCKLES)
- ¶ i le le fa'autau... (VOICE CRACKS)
¶ ...utau... (VOICE CRACKS)
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Oh my gosh.
It's when you took your shirt off.
Uh...
Uh... We'll cross that bridge when we get to the...
bridge.
(TENSE ACTION MUSIC)
- Popo's in there? - Yes. We're getting closer.
How we gonna find him in all of that?
How do you find a needle in a haystack?
You eat the hay.
So simple.
ALAMA: What we gonna do now?
BOB: We need to get into his head.
ALAMA: Not this again.
BOB: If you had money and a pretty girl, what would you do?
Marry the girl and use the money for the wedding.
No. You'd go into town, you'd have a great time,
and because you got money, you'd get yourself a hotel room.
You wake up in the morning, you're staring in the horizon;
you look at the biggest tree in the concrete jungle
and you think to yourself, 'I want to climb that!'
(UNSETTLING MUSIC)
Uh, chicken. I wasn't happy with those goats we got last time.
- Really? - Well, who wants diabetic goats
at a party? It's not ideal.
I'd like those goats that eat gorse,
cos it's a real problem at the moment.
- Did you get that? - Yeah, I got it.
(LIFT BELL DINGS) - I just can't spell it.
G-A-T...
and chicken.
BOB: Alama, I'll go left. You go right.
ALAMA: Look at how high we are.
BOB: You go left. We'll both go left.
Oh, OK.
Keep your eyes and ears peeled.
We need to surround him.
Alama, he's not up here.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yeah! Ah-hoo-hoo!
Whoo! Ah-hoo-hoo!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Yeah! Ohh! Man, it was amazing.
I bet it was. I mean, that high!
- There's my dawn warrior. - Oh, and there's the other one!
That was awesome, man! (LAUGHS)
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
So this is what Popo's been doing with your money.
POPO: I see everything from there. I can see the tree.
- It's beautiful just like you. - Oh, really?
(LAUGHTER) - Oh my gosh.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Alama, get him!
Aah! My hamstrings!
(FRENETIC PACIFIC DRUMS)
Right behind you, Alama!
Ss! Ss! Ssah!
- Bob! - Just around the corner!
(FRENETIC DRUMS CONTINUE)
You're not allowed to run up hills!
Sole!
Mate, I'm in a high-speed pursuit
and I'm gonna need your transportation. Can I use it?
- Yeah. - Thanks, man.
Where's the rest of your bike, man?
- Right here. - Oh mate.
That's right. Strong core. That's it. That's it.
Yeah, I remember. It's all coming back.
(COMIC MUSIC)
Oh. Something wrong with the...
Once you put your bike together, then I'll be back.
- Thanks mate. - All right. Good luck.
(FRENETIC DRUMMING CONTINUES)
(PANTS)
(POPO LAUGHS)
(PANTS)
(BELL DINGS)
(LAUGHS) Bob Titilo has done it again! Come on. Hurry up!
Alama, he's getting away.
Come on, driver, let's go. High speed.
BOB: Hey, Popo, this is my town.
Get him, get him! Go on, go on!
(DRAMATIC CHASE MUSIC)
(PANTS)
Let's go! Let's go! Come on, this is a high-speed chase.
Yeah! (LAUGHS) Whoo!
- Gonna get you, Popo! - This is what you call real!
Gonna get you, Popo!
This way, this way, this way!
(PANTS)
(LOW, TENSE MUSIC)
Popo, stop. Just stop.
Stop.
- He's not stopping. - Tackle him.
It's a moving vehicle. It's too dangerous.
Driver, driver, please stop. Please stop here, please.
Get him. Get him!
- Thank you. - You're welcome. It's 20 bucks.
- Huh? - 20 bucks.
2... 2... Uh...
(PANTS, GROANS)
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
(PANTS, YELLS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(PANTS)
(SIGHS)
(SOMBRE MUSIC)
(EERIE MUSIC)
(PANTS SOFTLY)
(RATTLING)
(TURKEY GOBBLES)
(DRAMATIC NOTE)
(INTENSE MUSIC)
Sole, you, um,...
You found me. (CHUCKLES)
Well done.
(INTENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)
(BOTH GRUNT)
(POPO YELLS)
(GROANS)
Oh!
(GRUNTS)
Popo?
No. No, no. Just let him go.
- Let him go. - What?
No, just let him go.
Let him go.
(GROANING)
(SNORES)
(ALAMA GROANS, BOB SNORES)
Yeah. (SIGHS)
Thanks, Alama.
Next time just leave him to me. Don't try to take him.
I know what to expect. I've got a few surprises myself.
Look, we found him once. We can find him again.
And how are we gonna do that?
Here.
- Why would he do that? - Exactly.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
- Hi. - Hi.
- How are you? - Yeah, good, thank you.
- How are you? - Yeah, good. Take a seat.
Wow.
Welcome to wine tasting for beginners.
It's your first step towards expanding your knowledge
and appreciation for wine.
Boy, do we have a treat in store for you tonight.
What wine do you have for a man who have no money
in his wallet but a lot of love in his heart.
Samoan man, mid to late 20s, sampled any wine lately?
Um, yeah, actually, in the previous session.
- He was a very generous tipper. - (CASH REGISTER DINGS)
(SOLEMN NOTE)
- Where did he go to next? - Well, it's Saturday night,
so I'm guessing the club up the road.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
You're not gonna have a taste?
Uh...
Just a little bit.
- BOB'S MUM: Stay away. - BOB: Don't do it.
This isn't you, Bob Titilo.
You know, I would've been in the Warriors.
Could've been in the police force, a navy SEAL.
Could've been a commander in the army.
Could've been the first Samoan man on the moon.
- Really? - Prime minister of New Zealand.
What are you talking about?
Could've been a nutritionalist.
Could've ran a two-mile marathon.
I coulda had a three-pack abs.
Could've swam the Cook Strait on the ferry.
Are you from, like, around here?
I'm from Samoa.
Samoa? Oh my goodness, that's the most beautiful place.
- Could've done so much. - (VOICES ECHO)
- Oh, yes! - (BELL DINGS)
(MAN YELLS, WAVES SPLASH)
We are looking for my brother.
- Well, I hope you find him. - Yeah.
Hey, um, where did your friend go?
(SINISTER MUSIC)
Bob?
Bob!
(WATER SPLASHES, FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS, LAUGHTER)
You can't catch me!
Hey! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
(LAUGHS)
Phwoar! It's been a long time.
Hi, tree.
Ohh!
I am Bob Chichilo.
Hey, Popo. Oh, that's not Popo.
Excuse me, have you seen Popo?
He's about this tall.
He's like that.
Very naughty. Naughty boy!
Oh, I can feel it.
Whoa!
Oh!
Whoo-hoo!
I am Aquaman!
(SINGS IN SAMOAN)
¶ I am looking for Alama's brother. ¶
(CONTINUES SINGING IN SAMOAN)
No more fishing for you.
(IMITATES WATER WHOOSHING)
- Hey! - (LAUGHTER ECHOES)
What...? Are you talking to me?
Hey! You- You wanna piece of this?
You want a piece of this?
Hey?
Come on.
I'm gonna give you a real jab in your face.
I'm been training. Training really hard.
- Yeah. - (VOICE ECHOES)
You see that upper cut? Coming your way. (LAUGHS)
I am Bob Titilo,
private investigator.
There's no way...
There's no way
you can take me over!
Oh my God!
Elbow, wrist-bow,
finger-bow, knee-bow.
You are gonna bow down to me.
(LAUGHS)
You want me to smash this on your head?
Huh? Ha, you can't fool me.
Aahh!
(WHIMPERS, LAUGHS)
You think that hurt?
No, it was painful.
(YELLS)
- All right, all right. - Stop it!
Stop it, Alama!
It's not worth it. You'll just get hurt.
You can't contain me. Stop trying to be a container.
Wait! OK!
- OK? - OK, yeah.
- Calm down. - I'm good.
Look... Yaaah!
Stop it, Alama. Get away.
- That's enough. - Get away!
Wha...?
(GROANS)
(SOBS)
(PANTS)
What's wrong with you?
(SOBS)
I'm sorry, Alama. Every Superman has his kryptonite.
What is kryptonite?
It's a... You don't understand.
This is a waste of time. You're supposed to be helping me.
I am! I am, I promise.
- I'll help you. - Forget it.
Hey. Where you going?
- Let go. - Let go or what?
I'm trying to make you see the errors of your ways.
- Just step away. - Or else what?
You think you can take me?
You think you can take Bob Titilo?
- Yes, I do. - Hey?
Here, take this.
- (BONES CRUNCH) - Aahh!
Right where I want you.
Enough.
I got styles too.
I got snake. (IMITATES HISSING)
I got a horse.
I got a elephant. (GRUNTS)
(SPLUTTERS)
Two trunks. Eh?
And I got a banana style. You know what I can do with that?
I can peel your face. Aahh!
You don't listen.
Uh?
What you gonna do with no money?
Huh? You don't even know where you're going.
Every time you try something, you stuff it up.
I saw an opportunity and evaluated the situation
and acted accordingly.
Big words doesn't make you less wrong.
(CHUCKLES) That's it!
We're finished!
You can go back to the islands the same way you came - broke!
(BOTH WHISPER)
Can you not bring your dramas around here?
Yeah, cos you're kind of killing our vibe.
Well, can you not bring your faces in public?
Cos your kind of killing my eyes.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
(WOMEN CHATTER)
That guy doesn't look too good.
We should check him.
- No, he's fine. - Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Are you OK? Do you need help?
No. No, I'm fine.
I mean yes.
Are you hurt?
Oh! (WINCES)
Actually, I'm in a lot of pain.
Are you sure?
Cos if you're lying, I'm gonna hurt you for real.
I think we should take him to hospital.
No, he needs some physical and psychological healing.
And I know what he needs.
It's always the ones closest to you, eh?
What would you do if you don't get your money back?
Well, I'll go back home with nothing.
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
- Here, take this. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's not much. Take it. Hopefully it will help.
(DING!)
$2.
(SPEAKS SAMOAN)
We gotta go. We're gonna be late for church. Here.
- Fa'afetai lava. - Look after yourself.
Let's go.
- Fa. - Fa soifua.
So you're just going to leave it?
Yes. Mum, I can't work in an environment
where I'm not appreciated.
Why is Alama so desperate to get his money back?
- I don't know. - How much was stolen?
Mum, I didn't ask.
Why would he want to overstay his visa?
Mum, I don't even think it's relevant.
Oh!
Son, you're a crap investigator.
You're 40, unemployed and still living at home.
Yeah, but it's a nice home, Mum.
How many times have I told you to stay away from-?
Wow, wow. Thanks, Mum, for the vote of confidence?
Now, you listen and listen carefully, son.
(SIGHS)
If you don't show respect for Alama,
you are no better off than the guy that took his money.
(CICADAS CHIRP)
(SIGHS)
You finish what you started. Do you hear me?
Yeah, but, Mum, he's probably long gone by now.
- Based on what information? - I'm just assuming.
ALAMA: Popo. He's my brother, not by blood.
He's been acting strange.
There's my dawn warrior!
Very generous tipper.
He gave me his lavalava, so I gave him a discount.
That's cute.
Ko'a lua.
- Beautiful just like you. - (ALL LAUGH)
There's my dawn warrior.
(LOW, INTENSE MUSIC, BLEEPING)
There's my dawn warrior!
ECHOES: Dawn warrior!
(KEYPAD CLICKING)
Yes. Gotcha!
Don't you take him on by yourself.
You go and look for Alama and take him-
No, Mum. I'm gonna look for someone else.
Go look for Alama.
(MOURNFUL MUSIC)
(INTENSE NOTE)
The giraffe wakes up.
Open up your bones!
Open up the cartilage.
Open up the ligaments!
Build a bridge for the people.
Breathe in.
Sole!
Hey!
Tell the people it's safe to cross.
(ACTION MUSIC)
You're...
I'm Bob... Faitatala.
Faiamio?
Fai... Bob Fa...
Bob...
- BOB: Bob Titilo! - ...Titilo!
Oh, I see what you did.
Oh, you brought the power, huh?
OK, well, uso, you might have the power,
but I've got the speed. (GRUNTS)
Oh, come on!
(FAST-PACED ACTION MUSIC)
(GRUNTING)
Hey, Popo, where's your speed now, mate? (LAUGHS)
POPO: Oh!
(GROANS)
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
Oh, you beauty. A getaway vehicle.
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC)
Let's go.
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
I knew we'll get the money back.
What? He's got the bag! Go faster!
I beg your pardon?
- Plan B, then. - What's plan A?
Feel the rhythm. Feel the vibe!
- Plan B! - (GROANS)
Yes! (CHEERS)
How do you like that Bob Titilo special, eh, Popo?
You... (GRUNTS)
Hey!
Ks! Ks! Ks! Aaah!
Ks! Ks! Ks! Ks! (GROANS)
(LAUGHS, GASPS)
Hey, that's my bike!
- Hey! - Don't worry about it.
- I'll buy you a new bike. - I need it for work tomorrow.
- What do you do for work? - Riding!
Excuse me! That's my bike!
Hello! Hey!
VOICE RECEDES: That's my bike!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Sole!
(BOTH GRUNT)
(BOB GROANS)
(BOB GROANS, PANTS)
(SLOW, SOLEMN MUSIC)
I found Popo.
Did you get the money?
No. He got away again.
Popo and I always dream of coming here.
I like it here too.
But if we are both here, then there's nobody back home.
Yeah, but you can always send money back home to help.
Money pay for things,
but it doesn't stop your parents from being lonely.
It doesn't remind them to take their medicine,
or even tell jokes just to make them laugh.
Popo doesn't get that in his head.
I'm sorry.
What was that?
(CLEARS THROAT) I'm slowly getting a cough.
Alama, I'm really sorry.
Sorry for everything.
Ah, it's all right.
Thank you for helping me.
You're the only one who came out and helped me.
Thanks for...
being a friend.
Like... best friends?
Nah, friends.
One more step and then best friends, eh?
- 12 steps. - 12 steps?
You know what? We're gonna get that money.
But this time we're gonna do it together.
Like a team!
Like usos.
Yeah!
Feel like an idiot.
Yeah, we'll do it together.
Best friends!
- CHUCKLES: Nearly best friends. - (LAUGHS)
So how are we gonna find him now?
We can't do it by ourselves.
(CELL PHONE DINGS)
(CELL PHONE BUZZES)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(DING!)
(CELL PHONES CHIMING, RINGING, BUZZING)
Today I'm going to teach you how to do the lima tau.
- Limatow. - Li-ma tau.
- Leematayau. - Tau. Tau.
- Tayow. - Tau. Tau.
- Haua. - Tau. Samoan martial art.
OK, if someone's attack you,...
- Yeah. - ...show me how you block.
Raah!
- Wow. What is that? - Well, did you hit my face?
- No. - Then that's a block.
(CELL PHONES CHIMING, BUZZING)
Bro, is this you?
No!
Isn't this your man?
- (CELL PHONE DING!) - What?
(DING!)
(BOTH GRUNT)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah. - Whoa! Got it.
- This one you're gonna block. - Yeah.
- This one is for the slap. - Ohh!
- You see? - Of course, of course.
And the same time with both of them.
- Yes, yes, I know. - You ready? Go.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
No.
Ready. (EXHALES)
(YELLS, LAUGHS)
(SOBS)
ALAMA: No.
No. No.
No.
Hoo-ahh! (WHEEZES)
No.
How many fingers am I holding up?
- Two. - Whoaaa! Ohh!
See?
(QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(PEOPLE CHATTER)
(CELL PHONES CHIMING, RINGING, BUZZING)
(GRUNTS)
Aah!
(YELLS)
Yo! Yo! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, real Fa'asamoa!
(GROANS)
Can you do that softer? (WHIMPERS)
(SQUEALS)
Blockslap. Blockslaaaap! Raaah!
Yaaah!
ALAMA: I think I make you worse than before.
Better if you just stick to what you're good at.
- OK. - What are you good at?
Let me show you my skill of how to stay hidden.
Can you see me behind the chair?
Ha, ha! I was behind the tree.
Nice try.
I said to the Australian, 'You're a platypus!'
- (LAUGHTER) - A platypus!
(LAUGHS)
Now, that's what you call a platypus.
(LAUGHTER)
(PHONES CHIMING)
They found him.
(CELL PHONES CHIMING, BUZZING)
I've got an address.
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC)
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
(MUSIC STOPS, WHOOSHING)
(TENSE MUSIC)
Come on, Alama.
Popo!
Check over there.
Popo!
(DOORS RATTLE) - Popo!
Can you hear anything?
No.
(FOOTSTEPS)
There!
Watch out.
ALAMA: Popo!
You go first.
Lucky I came prepared.
BOB: Alama.
Alama?
Um...
(SIGHS)
Can't trust my eyes.
Gonna have to use my ears.
(TORCH CLICKS)
Alama?
Are you there?
- (RATTLING) - Oh!
Alama, are you there?
(TENSE MUSIC RISES)
(SCREAMS)
SOFTLY: Wow, what a skux dude. (KISSES)
- Bob. (BOB SCREAMS)
Oh my gosh.
- Why are your eyes closed? - Because I was trying to...
- Come on, hurry up. - OK, yeah.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Let's check upstairs.
No, I don't think he's gone upstairs.
I'm sure he's staying on flat surfaces now.
He's gotta be here somewhere.
There.
(RUBBLE CLINKS)
Enough mucking around, Popo.
(CHUCKLES)
Lama.
Why the rush for?
Lama,...
(PANTS)
I'm not going back.
This is not our home, Popo.
If that's our home, Lama,
then why hasn't anybody else gone back?
All we do is work for them.
It's the same thing over and over again.
If you want it, then,...
come and get it.
(POPO CHUCKLES)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(CHUCKLES)
There.
Oof!
Look, it says, 'Lama, come get me!
'I'm waiting for you.'
Let's go, Lama.
Show me the stupid moves our dad showed you.
OK.
(ALAMA GRUNTS)
Go home, Lama.
(ALAMA YELLS)
(DRAMATIC NOTE)
(INTENSE MUSIC RISES)
Sau.
(INTENSE DRUM MUSIC)
(BOTH GRUNT)
(BOTH PANT)
(RHYTHMIC PACIFIC DRUMMING)
(INTENSE NOTE ECHOES)
(SPEAKS SAMOAN)
(GRUNTING)
(ALAMA GROANS)
(YELLS)
(ALAMA GROANS)
(POPO YELLS, WHOOPS)
(ALAMA GROANS)
I am not going back.
What the...?
- It's you! - Yes, me.
(YELLS, GROANS)
- Alama, you've got this. - No.
We got this.
Together.
- Best friends? - Nearly best friends.
Now get him!
(GRUNTING)
You all right? Alama.
(POPO GRUNTS)
You've got him.
(INTENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)
- Hey! - (SQUEALS)
Get him!
Yeah.
- How's that feel now? - That's enough, Popo!
That's enough, Popo.
- (POPO GRUNTS) - I said enough, Popo.
That's two enoughs.
(BOB WHIMPERS)
(POPO GRUNTS)
(INTENSE MUSIC ECHOES)
(GROANS)
I knew you'd get him, Alama.
Both of us did it together.
That's what happens when you mess with best friends, Popo.
Hey, best friend. Guess what I got for you.
(SIGHS)
(BRISTLES SWISHING)
(POPO LAUGHS)
What's he laughing about, Alama?
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
I spent it on good times.
It's just like our family. All that work for nothing!
(POPO LAUGHS)
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
(YELLS)
(PANTS)
Alama, I've still got some oranges left.
Popo...
Yeah.
Sorry, Mum.
Stuck together.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
(CRICKETS CHIRP)
Sorry, Alama, we couldn't get your money back.
That's all right. It's not your fault.
Here's something to take back to Samoa.
Thank you, man.
Well, you better practise those moves, huh?
- Every day. - (BOTH CHUCKLE)
Take care, huh?
- Fa, Alama. - Fa soifua.
Fa, Bob.
- Fa, Alama. - Fa.
(PLANE ENGINE ROARS)
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
(INTENSE NOTES)
(SIGHS)
(INTENSE NOTES CONTINUE)
(OMINOUS MUSIC RISES)
Shit.
Huh?
Hey!
(CLATTERING)
(PANTS)
(GROANS)
(WINCES)
(KNIFE CLATTERS)
(ALAMA BREATHES SHAKILY)
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
(ROOSTER CLUCKS)
Bob Titilo.
(ALAMA CHUCKLES)
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
(PANTS)
(GROANS)
(KNIFE SLASHES)
Heeeey!
What a useless boys!
I living the high life!
A new Hilux!
New hat, new watch.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(LEAF RUSTLES)
(SPEAKS SAMOAN)
(SLOW-PACED SOLEMN MUSIC)
(BIRDS TWEET)
(METAL CLINKS)
(HAMMERING)
(ROOSTER CROWS)
(CHUCKLES) Hoo!
Yeah.
(HOPEFUL MUSIC)
(MAN GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(SIGHS)
Sorry, Lama.
(CHUCKLES)
(CLATTERING)
(BOTH SPEAK SAMOAN)
(CHUCKLES)
(HUMS TUNE)
Yep, cool.
(GRINDING, SPARKING)
Heyyy!
(ENERGETIC MUSIC)
Whooo-hoo-hoo!
Oh, wow.
(PEOPLE EXCLAIM)
(ENERGETIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
Malo!
(PEOPLE CHAT IN SAMOAN)
(LAUGHTER)
There is Apolima.
That big island over there, that's Savai'i.
(PEOPLE CHAT)
- (BOTH LAUGH) - Go to the fire show?
Yes, can you bring us to the fire show.
- Faster. (LAUGHTER)
(COINS CLINK)
Fa'afetai lava.
(OVERLAPPING VOICES)
Oh, $10. Ooh-hoo-hoo!
(SPEAKS SAMOAN)
Fa! Fa soifua.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
BOTH: Malo.
(INDUSTRIOUS MUSIC)
(HORN BEEPS)
Yeah, these are all the palm trees o Taumeasina.
- Hey, talofa. - Hi. How are you?
- Very well, thank you. - Thank you.
There, there. Ready to see a bit of the island?
¶ Go for a walk.
- ¶ Tautalatala... - ¶ Too much talk.
- ¶ Ou alofa iate 'oe means... - ¶ I love you.
- ¶ Take it easy,... - ¶ fai fai lemu! ¶
- Ah! Girls, I love you too! - (LAUGHTER)
Thank you very much.
(BRIGHT, INSPIRING MUSIC)
(BIRD CALLS)
Popo. Hello, Bob.
- Sole! - Hey!
Alama! Hey, Popo!
Malo soifua, Bob.
Hey, look. Check this.
(SPEAKS SAMOAN)
Got the electric motor for it. Is that the right size?
Yeah, that's the right one.
And it should get there by next week.
Oh, cool.
You been practising your moves?
Oh yeah. Every day, mate. Every day.
You wanna see what I got?
(BOB GRUNTS, CLATTERING)
- BOTH: Ooh! - (LAUGHS)
I'm gonna be using those moves tonight.
- Wish me luck. - BOTH: Good luck.
Oh, thanks. Best friends!
- LAUGHS: Nearly best friends. - Oh, sad guy.
- OK. Fa, Popo. - Fa soifua, Bob.
- Fa, Alama! - Fa!
(FOOTSTEPS, RATTLING)
(LAUGHTER, CHATTER)
Alfriston Afiaga Laulalo.
You're coming with me. Your presence has been requested.
(SIGHS)
Boys, get him.
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC)
Watch this coming.
(GRUNTING)
Sole.
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
Alfriston.
How many times did I say don't say my name out loud?
(GRUNTING)
Heyyy!
Whoo-hoo!
- How'd you get so good? - You're coming with me.
I'm not going anywhere! Stuff you!
Take me to jail! I'll take all you cops on!
I'm not the police, and I'm not taking you to jail.
I'm taking you to your mother.
(OMINOUS NOTE)
Take me to jail! Take me to jail!
It's David's birthday. We're having some fun,
couple of drinks.
- Uso, just a couple ones. - Just relax. Relax.
And now I'm hyperventilating.
(SOBS, SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
(GRUNTS)
(SNORES)
I don't know how youse fit in that car.
Such a small car.
(TRANQUIL MUSIC)
I love you. I'm sorry, I love you, Mum. I l- Aaah!
(INSPIRING MUSIC)
(MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC)
Chee-hoo!
Captions by Able. www.able.co.nz
('MILK AND HONEY' BY ANDREW FALEATUA AND DAN MILLWARD)
¶ I've been dreaming of the waters
¶ where they go to a land I wanna know.
¶ All its beauty has no border.
¶ I've been told find the cloud and it will show.
¶ But if I go, I'll have your heart within my hand.
¶ I can't replace the blood in my veins.
¶ Running ever deep, I'll carry it with me
¶ so when I go, I'll always know.
¶ Honey.
¶ Land of milk and honey.
¶ Honey.
¶ Land of milk and honey.
¶ Now I see the sunlight rising
¶ on a place that my heart will always know.
¶ If I'm lost you'll always find me
¶ and show me love that reminds me of my home.
¶ So if I go I'll have your love within my hand
¶ I will embrace blood in my veins
¶ running ever deep, this is my legacy,
¶ so when I go I'll always love...
¶ honey.
¶ Land of milk and honey.
¶ Love like a river inside me.
¶ I rise and see that I'm finding
¶ the place I've seen within my dreams.
¶ If I go, I promise that I'll keep
¶ holding your love here beside me.
¶ Cos that's one thing I'll never leave.
¶ Love like a river inside me.
¶ I rise and see that I'm finding
¶ the place I've seen within my dreams.
¶ If I go, I promise that I'll keep
¶ holding your love here beside me,
¶ cos that's one thing I'll never leave.
¶ Honey.
¶ Land of milk and honey. ¶