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(Seabirds calling)
(machinery grinding)
All right.
Yeah, looks to me like we're finally up to speed.
Yeah, it's looking good now.
(machinery grinding)
(thumping)
(roars)
(machinery whirring)
Babe, are we even allowed here? The sign says "No trespassing."
Baby, we're from here. We're locals. Come on.
(thumping)
What was that noise?
Oh, that's the sound of my heart fluttering
as I look upon your kick-ass body.
(laughs) Stop.
I'm going in. You come after me.
Come on, baby. Come on.
Come on in. I won't bite.
Unless you want me to.
Girl: Whoo!
Girl: Something just touched my leg.
Come on, let's go back. I want to get out.
- Let's go. - What? We just got in.
(Screams)
(girl screams)
(gasps)
♪ It's time to party and play like I've been playing ♪
♪ All day where the wild things go ♪
♪ That's where I'm going to stay ♪
♪ It's time to party and play like I've been playing ♪
♪ All day where the wild things go ♪
♪ That's where I'm going to stay ♪
♪ Wild in the city, wild on the beach ♪
♪ Feel it in the air 'cause summer's in reach ♪
♪ Wild on top, wild all around I
♪ Pedal to the metal and I can't slow down ♪
♪ Tight like a drum, wound up like a spring ♪
♪ Girl, I'm gonna ring your bell, ding-a-ling-a-ling ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm a grown man and you're no child ♪
♪ Show me what you got like a girl gone wild I
♪ Now you're mysterious, I'm a little curious ♪
♪ Set the minute till we do it, kinda feel delirious ♪
♪ Like a freight train running through my left brain ♪
♪ You may be a firework, but you're not safe and sane ♪
♪ Yeah, so turn it up, party down ♪
♪ Fly a little higher till we hit the ground ♪
♪ Take a look around, girl, don't you know? I
♪ This is where the wild things go ♪
♪ It's time to party and play like I've been playing ♪
♪ All day where the wild things go ♪
♪ That's where I'm going to stay, it's time to party... ♪
Man: I'm coming to you live from Seaside Heights,
and as you can see, we're about to kick off
the biggest party of the summer.
Girls, bikinis.
Let's get this party started.
Don't forget, Joey Fatone, formerly of 'NSYNC,
is live tonight in concert.
It's time to celebrate the Fourth of July,
Jersey Shore style.
♪ Show me what you got, like a girl gone wild ♪
♪ You're mysterious, I'm a little curious ♪
♪ Set the minute till we do it, kinda feel delirious ♪
♪ Like a freight train running through my left brain ♪
♪ You may be a firework, but you're not safe and sane ♪
♪ So turn it up, party down ♪
♪ Fly a little higher till we hit the ground ♪
♪ Take a look around, girl, don't you know? ♪
♪ This is where the wild things go ♪
- ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪ - ♪ Wild ♪
- ♪ Go, go, go ♪ - J"Wild ♪
- ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪ - ♪ Wild ♪
♪ Go, go, go ♪
♪ Wild. ♪
Nooki: Open up, TC. I know you're in there.
Nooki: You better not be in there with that tanorexic bitch, TC.
- Hey. - I'm not going to stop...
- Hey, hey, hey. - ...banging on this door...
- Wake up. Wake up. - ...unless you open up.
- What? Was I snoring? - Wake up. Come on.
You're the worst. Come on. You got to get out of here.
- What, for snoring? - Open up!
- (Slurping) - Nooki: Madonna.
Madonna mia! Open up the door already! Come on!
Keep your panties on, bro!
Hello!
- What? - Where the hell is he?
What?
- No, listen, listen. - What?
- Look, I'll text you later, okay? - But this is the balcony.
No, think of it like the VIP exit.
Oh, hell, no!
- Shh! - No! No! Don't!
- Where is she? - Who?
- Your little goomad. - What? What goomad?
Don't lie to me.
I can smell the Aqua Net and garlic.
I can't freaking believe this.
You broke up with me, remember? Top of the Ferris wheel.
That's right, because after six months,
you wouldn't let me wear your chain.
You got to earn the chain, baby. What did you expect?
I expected you
not to grind on skanks.
That's mine.
What? Don't make it weird.
- Disgraziata. - Now I'm so hung over right now,
I don't even remember what happened last night.
That's it. We're through.
Yeah, well, I thought
we established that on the Ferris wheel.
Hey, yo, you starting static again, meatball?
Out of my way, wannabe.
Hey, "wannabe"? With this watch?
You're not even Italian.
Hey, so what?
I respect the guido lifestyle.
- (Scoffs) - What?
Wow, that girl's got some serious issues, bro.
- Drama, bro, drama. - Forget it.
Yo, you got to forget about that little Chihuahua.
We got to get down to Captain Sallie's, yo.
First day of the long weekend,
and I'm in desperate need of some serious A-S-S.
Alcohol, sun...
- Both: Sex! - Pound it.
- Explode it! - Explode it!
- Rain it down! - Rain it down!
- Come on, get weird! - Come on, dude!
All right, let's bounce. Let's go. Let's go.
(Seabirds calling)
Come on.
(Grunting)
(speaking Italian)
You going to make this hard for me?
(Grunting) Come on.
Come on, you. Come on, you.
Your mother's ass.
- Ahh. - (sign clatters)
(reel clicking)
This better not be another sign.
Come on, you. Come on.
(Grunting) Get up.
What the...? Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Oh, God!
MY pole.
(Screaming)
(dance music playing)
♪ This is the way I
♪ To party land I
♪ Whoo! I
♪ Welcome to party land ♪
♪ Whoo! I
♪ May I have your attention, please? ♪
♪ Welcome to party land ♪
♪ You just bought a one-way ticket ♪
- J" That's right ♪ - ♪ To the party ♪
♪ Everybody, clap your hands ♪
♪ Going down to party land ♪
♪ We going to take this place apart... ♪
Paulie: Yeah, boy, we're going to get it here.
Going to bring you back to life.
Yo, look at this. It's hopping right here.
- Captain Sallie's. - Yo!
- Hey, come on. - Whoo!
- Yo, what's up? - Hey, dude.
How you doing, bro?
I cannot wait for this thing right now.
- Yo, what is that? - Joey Fatone.
One performance only, bro.
Ah, yeah, buddy! Man, hot chicks, dude!
(Dance music playing)
(speaks Italian) I need ice.
(laughs)
- Hey, Sallie! - Sallie!
How's it doing, huh? This place is popping.
Looking good, Sallie.
♪ Everybody dance to the beat, get down ♪
♪ Coming off the body is a heat, pow pow ♪
♪ The heart is beating faster than the feet I
♪ We got to be this free ♪
♪ The club is on fire with the sound, get rough ♪
♪ There's something crazy up, it's going down, give it up ♪
♪ Now everybody's getting unwound ♪
♪ And so we gotta be this free... ♪
Hey, let me ask you something. What do you recommend
to ease the pains of a breakup for my boy over here?
- He's hurting a little bit. - Her.
Whoo!
- Doggie style. - That's not fair.
Hey, how about something you don't have to wake up to?
A mojito.
Mojito. Make it two.
And a beer for my boy Donnie Diesel right here.
Yo, these two girls, I know these two girls.
- Let's take 'em back to the house. - DTF, bro.
Oh, my God.
Thanks, Sallie.
Really? He's going to come here?
Whatever. Whatever. I'm gonna keep dancing.
I'm going to do me.
Hey, forget about her, bro.
Come on, it's history.
All right.
I'm over it.
- It's about time. - All right, mojito!
Beer for Diesel.
Cheers to a great weekend, fellas.
- Salute. - Salute, everybody.
Boom!
Man: It's all falling into place.
Last summer before graduate school,
and we are going out in style.
Don't tell me.
You got the yacht for tomorrow.
Fourth of July at the Cove.
It's going to be a weekend to remember.
Bradford, could you please win already?
We have a massage in 20 minutes.
- (Dance music playing) - (cheering)
♪ Right now, everybody dance to the beat, get down... ♪
Yo, this table opened up. Let's snag it.
Paulie: Hey, take a walk, you!
♪ The club is on fire with the sound, get rough ♪
♪ There's something crazy up, it's going down... ♪
Look at him. Look at him. Really? Really?
Are you ready to get wet
and see some of the Jersey Shore's finest racks?
- Huh? Huh? Yeah! - (cheering)
Look at these melons! Amazing!
I can't hear you! Come on.
Yeah! Oh!
Oh, there he is. Straight out of Seaside Heights,
it's the taller brother I never had.
His boys know him as TC,
but the ladies know him as The Complication!
- (Barking) - (cheering)
Yo, yo, remember, have a good time up there, all right'?
Do you, TC! Do you, TC!
(Barking)
Hey, TC, why do they call you The Complication?
Because when the ladies see these,
- things get complicated. - Yeah!
- - Y boy!
Oh, look at those.
You could serve drinks off those abs.
Oh, yeah! One, two, three, four, five, six.
Yeah. Yeah, and there's his boys
from the second grade, Balzac and Donnie.
- Yeah, buddy! - All day, cuz.
Yeah! (barks)
All right, let's do this thing.
- Whoo! - (air horn blaring)
What the hell is going on over there?
It's the kind of trash that brings the property value down on the shore.
Not for long.
Where are you going?
Excuse me.
♪ Move it and shake it I
- ♪ Show me what you got... ♪ - All right. (laughs)
You ready for this, boys?
Yeah, buddy!
- There you go! - Whoo!
All right, one, two...
- three. - (blows air horn)
- (yelling) '(Cheering)
Skanks. Skanks, all of them.
All of them, skanks.
Yeah, buddy! Yeah, buddy!
(Chanting) Take it off! Take it off!
Take it off! Take it off!
(Cheering)
We doing it!
Yeah, TC! Go, TC!
Go, TC! Go, TC!
Wait. Arrr I seeing this right?
- We're out of here. - Come on. Let's go.
(Screams)
- (record needle scratches) - (cheering stops)
- Yeah! - (cheering)
You got a problem, goombah?
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Relax there, cupcake, all right? We're just having a little bit of fun.
- What, is she going to melt? - (crowd laughs)
No one's talking to you, gnocchi.
Bro, why don't you go back to your country club, really?
What are you going to do, juice monkey? Bench-press us?
Listen, it was an accident.
Do yourself a favor, man. Go back to your little private beach.
Go play with your little private friends, huh?
- Come on. - Neanderthal.
- What did you say? - Oh. I forgot.
- They didn't go to college. - (laughs)
A crude or slow-witted person.
It means you exhibit a caveman-like mentality.
Shall I use it in a sentence?
Oh. Oh, shall I use this as a rectal probe?
Shh, shh, shh.
Better take it easy.
Your daddy cops aren't here to back you up this time.
Do me a favor.
Try not to gag on that silver spoon stuck in your mouth, huh?
(laughs)
♪ It's onto the brink ♪
♪ Now the scorp is going to sting, 'cause the four on the floor ♪
♪ Gonna knock you through the door ♪
♪ Right now, on the blade ♪
♪ It's too late to get away, make the cut, in a rut... ♪
- Come on! Get off him! - Watch the hair!
'(grunts) - (groans)
- Bull's-eye. - Oh, my God!
I'm going to kill you, you midget!
- JP? - Bradford: Guido!
Get back here!
Spencer, slow down!
Yo, yo, yo, JP.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
- What's going on? - They're going after JP.
What the hell's wrong with you guys?
Hey, man!
Come here, guinea!
(laughs)
♪ Whatever may come ♪
♪ No, you're never going to run ♪
- ♪ So whatever ♪ - ♪ Whatever... ♪
What the hell did you guys do inside?
It wasn't our fault, Sallie. We didn't start it.
It was an accident. He squirted this girl and they clocked him.
What are you doing? Are you fighting again?
- No, it wasn't our fault, Dad. - Come here. Come here.
This is the Fourth of July weekend.
You're supposed to be having fun, not fighting.
- ♪ Fight, fight, fight ♪ - ♪ Fight it out ♪
: Fight, fight, fight:
♪ Just stand your ground and fight it out ♪
♪ It's onto the brink ♪
♪ Now the scorp is going to sting ♪
♪ 'Cause the four on the floor ♪
♪ Going to knock you through the door ♪
♪ Right now, on the blade ♪
♪ It's too late to get away ♪
♪ Make the cut, in a rut ♪
♪ And the lights get shut I
♪ Lights out, lights out I
♪ Now you're crawling in the dark ♪
♪ No signs, straight lines I
♪ And it's tearing you apart, break out, break out... ♪
Take it easy, you hear me?
- Yeah. - All of you.
Take it easy.
Get out of here.
Mr. Moretti, we're telling you the truth.
Get out of here.
♪ You're going to have to fight it out... I
(machinery whirring)
Ha ha! Preppies!
Come out and play!
Ha ha!
You're not half the man I am.
I might not be half the man, but I got twice the balls.
You're not going in.
Let's go.
Hey, fellas,
water's nice this time of year.
- Shut up! - Dweebs!
Ha ha! Yeah!
He's obnoxious.
(Screams)
(screams)
- JP! - Yo, JP!
JP, where you at, kid?
Hey, you know, he is kind of hard to see.
Yo, buddy! JP!
- Where are you, my dude? - Hey!
(Screaming)
- JP! - Where you at, buddy?
- Yo, JP! - J!
- See anything? - No.
Yo, let's check the other side. Let's go.
JP!
- Hey, there they are! - Stop! Stop! Stop.
Tino!
Knock it off.
Why don't you talk to him?
Talk to him. He's the one that chased him down.
You're going to wish you never stepped foot in Seaside.
Whoa. Come on. If one of you... one of you throws a punch,
I throw you in jail. Arrr I clear?
- Yeah. - So what happened?
This is all your fault.
I didn't tell him to jump in.
It's not my fault guidos can't swim.
Hey, hey. Stop! Stop! Stasi!
Tommy, you take Bradford and Spencer
and wait for me by the cruiser.
- Put 'em in the cruiser. - You're fricking dead.
Tino, you should know better.
You should all know better.
Are you serious?
You going to let him just get away with this?
You let me handle this my way.
Fine.
50.
- Anything? - Nothing.
Yo, TC, what's up with your father?
It's like he believes Bradford, but not us.
I don't know, man.
Maybe I embarrass him.
Ever since my mom passed away, he's just been different.
Dude, it's been, like, five years.
Yeah. Well, it seems like no matter what I do,
I just can't do anything right, so...
Well, then maybe you should just join
the police academy or something, bro.
What?
Look, bro, I'm sure he loves you in his own weird way.
And it's got to be hard to be a father
of an obnoxious punk like you.
- (laughs) - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Still nothing? - No. I don't get it, bro.
I sent JP, like, 10 texts. He always gets back to me.
And Captain Sallie said he never came back to the bar.
Yo, maybe his phone just got wet.
- Something happened to him. - No. No way, all right?
I was on the swim team with that little dude.
He could do the broadstroke better than anyone.
- (Tone sounds) - Yo.
It's JP's brother. He said he hasn't heard from him either.
I think he's gone, guys.
Man on radio: Harbor Patrol Two. Nothing so far, Chief.
We'll keep a sharp eye out.
He's a small guy, might be hard to spot.
Moretti: Roger that.
Right on time.
Where you're standing
will be the fairway to the 18th hole
with a 180-degree view of the Atlantic Ocean.
You promised me progress.
We've had our setbacks, but everything is on target.
Those pylons aren't even cemented in yet.
What's the holdup, the union?
Well, we had a minor town hall ordinance issue,
but believe me when I tell you everything has been resolved.
I've heard that story.
I have a shareholders' meeting Tuesday.
I need to show my investors something.
I feel an ultimatum coming on.
You must be psychic.
Those pylons must be cemented in by the fourth,
which is tomorrow, or I'm pulling your funding.
Don't worry about it.
Believe me, it will happen.
Sir, I don't know what happened last night,
but the main power line went out.
We're a bit behind, but we're going to try to fix it.
We'll catch up, all right?
You know, when I get behind, I get unhappy,
and the last guy like you to make me unhappy
couldn't get a job around here for a couple of years.
He had to get that little government card to get his groceries,
his daughter had to drop out of college, the whole ball of wax.
So the last thing I would do if I were you is to make me unhappy.
Hello? Hello?
All right, spark it up.
Double the drilling time.
Boss' orders.
Are you kidding me, Richie?
We're already over the limit here.
Hey, they got a problem downtown,
let them deal with it. We do what we're told.
Whatever you say.
Fire this baby up.
(Rumbling)
(thumping)
Radio: The search for missing Seaside Heights resident
John Pelligrino has been called off.
Authorities report Pelligrino is presumed drowned,
although no body has been found.
To our boy, JP.
Rest in peace, little guy.
All: JP.
(Door opens)
Those dudes are dead.
Nooki.
We heard about JP.
I'm sorry.
Yo, that bastard Bradford.
I say we set his house on fire.
Yeah, after we waterboard the preppy's strunes.
Guys, relax. As much as I want to blame
Bradford for this, it wasn't all his fault.
- So you're saying he drownded? - Paulie: Yo, forget that.
JP was the best swimmer I know.
I've never seen a pair of little legs kick faster than that.
Paulie's right. He definitely didn't drownded.
Something did this.
You mean like he was attacked by something?
- Like what? - I don't know.
Like that stingray that killed the British guy.
You know, the one that hunted the crocodillies.
- Mmmmm. - TC: No.
- Like a shark. - (gasps)
Sharks aren't that uncommon down the shore.
Come on, TC, this ain't Florida.
You're talking fantasyland here.
Does this look like fantasyland to you?
All right.
So what are we going to do?
I got an idea. Come on.
Anyways, did you see Monique the other day?
Yo, TC, what are we doing?
Oh, are we going to have a vigil, bro?
- Something like that. - (laughs)
Aw, that's what I'm talking about.
- Boom, baby. - Yeah, babe.
Yes. Where did you get these, dude?
- Don't worry about it. - Blockbusters.
Borders.
- Guns. - Ammo.
Yeah, kid.
- All right, come on. - Nice.
Let's go, babe.
What didn't you understand on the Ferris wheel?
The part where I said I never want to see you again,
or the part where I said I was going to cut your nuts off
and set them on fire?
Neither.
No.
This is a really bad idea.
This is for JP. Let's go. Let's go.
We are going to be in so much trouble if we get caught.
Hey, we ain't going to get caught, all right?
Hey, guys, check it out.
Yo, what's a boat doing out here?
Guys, why is it covered in blood?
Ah, it's probably just spaghetti sauce.
What? My father never went fishing without some spuntini.
- Hey, isn't that Vinny's stuff? - Which Vinny?
- Vinny No-Neck? - No, bro. Vinny Bananas.
Bananas is in Florida, bro.
- No, I mean Vinny Knuckles. - Knuckles is dead.
That must be Vinny Bumbaza's boat.
Hey, stunads, it's Vinny Crabs.
- Mmm. - That's him.
Okay. So if this is his boat...
where's Vinny?
Oh! Guys, check it out. There's something in the water.
On, boy.
Nooki: God, what is it?
I don't know.
(Screaming)
Stay clear!
Shush.
Oh, God.
What are you freaking doing?
We can't leave Vinny bobbing around like this.
We got to give him a proper burial.
Seriously? They're just going to cremate him
and sprinkle his ashes in the sea.
We saved 'em a bunch of steps.
J-Moni: You guys are insane.
What if they don't cremate him?
What if they want to bury him regular-like?
Like, you know, get him one of those... in a coffin.
Bro, you can't put that in a coffin.
It's going to look ridiculous.
- Shark! - (screaming)
Whoa! They're everywhere!
Donnie, toss the chum.
Donnie, you did bring the chum, didn't you?
- I brought protein, bro. - Don't you dare.
Not that kind of protein. I got to save that for the ladies.
- Come on. - Are you kidding?
What? I never leave home without 'em.
You really think you're gonna attract sharks with protein bars?
Nothing's going to resist 25 grams
of power-packed peanut-butter crunch.
All right. All right, it's show time.
- Fireworks. - Come on.
Let's do it, baby!
Get going!
- Hurry up! - Fire in the hole!
Die, you son of a bitch!
(Fireworks whistle)
I've got it. Here you go.
Hurry up! They're everywhere!
- Hurry up. - Yeah, man, hurry up!
- (Sobbing) - Yo, fire in the hole.
Yeah!
- Whoa! - (screams)
- Whoa! - BJ!
'BJ! '(“reaming)
- Come on! - Right behind you!
(Sobbing)
- Nooki! - Come on!
OMG!
- Give me your hand! - Come on!
BJ!
- Get her up. - Go get the borders!
- Get the borders! - Kill it! Kill that thing!
- I hate stupid sharks. - Here!
- (Explosion) - (screaming)
(Nooki sobbing)
I'm gonna throw up.
Guys, they're getting away.
Good! Let 'em!
You know what?
You guys, you do what you want,
but I'm going after 'em.
Oh, haven't we done enough, TC?
One of those things killed JP
and I'm not letting 'em get away with it.
How do you suggest we stop 'em, bro'?
We need a boat.
Right here, guys. This is the one.
All right.
Don't worry. I'll get it started up.
- Oh, my God. - Ladies.
Thank you.
Why is there a picture of Bradford
and his skank-ass girlfriend on this boat?
'Cause it's his boat.
- It's what? - It's what?
Why are you trying to steal Bradford's boat?
Because he's a douche.
- Need I pontificate? - Oh, my God.
Guys, can we please hurry up? The sharks are gonna get away.
J-Moni: Where did you learn how to do that?
Where I learn everything... YouTube.
You ever drove one of these things?
Hell, no, but I rocked the hell out of "Grand Theft Auto" on PS3.
- How different can it be, huh? - My God.
We're going to die.
- Hey, listen. - Yeah?
- This isn't a game. Move over. - Come on, TC, just let me drive.
Does anybody smell gas? I smell gas.
Guys. Guys. Guys!
I can do it. I do know what I'm doing!
There's a shark coming! Move over.
- Come on, just let me drive. - Just move this over.
I got it.
BJ: Donnie, I just told you I smell gas!
- Ah! OW! '(Screaming)
Get off the boat!
- (Fireworks whistling) - Get off the boat!
- Oh, my God! '(Screaming)
(fireworks popping)
- It's going to blow! - Go! Go!
- Get off! - Come on. Go! Go!
It's going to blow!
(Siren blaring)
Looks like things just got complicated.
I'm starving. You guys hungry?
Thanks.
Hey, Mr. Moretti, you have any gabagool
or soup or salad around here? I'm dying. Or something?
- What's the matter with you? - What?
Handcuffs? Really, Pop?
You blew up a boat.
That's malicious destruction, arson.
I told you it was an accident.
Don't give me any lip, Tino.
Look, you're all pazzo because you lost a friend.
I get it, but that's no excuse to break the law.
There's more to it than that.
This isn't some bocce ball game you're playing here, Tino.
This is your life we're talking about.
You're not listening to me.
JP didn't drown.
He was killed by a shark.
And there's a whole bunch of them out there.
They're not like regular sharks, Dad.
They got this white skin
and these red eyes and these huge fins.
One of them killed Vinny.
- Vinny No-Neck? - Vinny Crabs.
White skin, red eyes?
That's a mighty tall tale, Tino.
I'm telling you the truth, Pops.
Vinny's boat is out there by the breakwater.
Check it out.
This is Moretti calling Harbor Patrol.
Come in, Harbor Patrol.
Man: I read you, Chief.
Have you seen anything of Vinny Crabs today?
He's probably fishing out by the breakwater.
That's a negative.
Anybody file a missing person report on him?
That's also a negative.
10-4.
You hear that?
Nothing.
Zero.
So what do we do now?
Now?
Now I go pay a visit to Mr. Dolan.
And I have to ask him very nicely
not to press charges against my son and his cugini.
Next time you blow up a boat,
make sure you check the registration.
Because the boat you blew up belongs to Mr. Dolan.
The Mr. Walter Dolan who has the power
to see that you spend time behind bars for this.
Is that what you want, Tino?
I want you to believe me.
Well, what did he say?
Says he's going to take us for pizza and beer.
What do you think he said?
T, we got to do something, bro.
Don't worry about it. This ain't over.
- (thumps) - (gasps)
Hey!
- Where did he go? - I don't know.
Ryan.
Look.
Ryan: What the...?
(Both scream)
- (gasping) - (girl screaming)
R!/an!
It's going to rival the Hamptons.
I'm going to turn the Jersey Shore
into a vacation Mecca
of luxurious relaxation and entertainment,
and it all begins with the Beach Club.
It's nice.
But some people like things the way they are around here, Walter.
You got 10 miles of beautiful, white, sandy beaches,
blue sky, and what does this town have to show for it?
Wet T-shirt contests and funnel cake.
You have to make Seaside Heights live up to its potential.
Yeah, sounds a little bit like gentrification to me.
It's beautification.
- Really? - You should be happy.
I'm going to make your job a hell of a lot easier.
Less crime and a better class of people.
Walter, I think I can handle a few kids blowing off some steam.
And, please, let's not forget some of those same kids' families
helped build this town to what it is today.
It's not the kids.
It's what they represent.
What they represent?
We call that culture around here.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you wanted culture.
I'll get you all the art galleries
and all the music centers that you want.
Do you really want more hoodlums, more bar fights,
- more... - Italians?
I was going to say thieves.
Like the ones who destroy people's boats.
And that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
Walter, my...
my son is going through a tough time right now.
Yes.
That poor midget guy drowned.
That was a terrible thing.
And I hear they were trespassing on my property.
Okay.
From one father to another, I need to ask you
not to press charges against them.
(sighs)
There's an old saying, you know?
One hand washes the other.
Radio: Keep your radio dial on The Sound of the Shore,
rocking your Fourth of July party all week long.
(Dance music playing)
Let me get it to you in about an hour. That work?
Yo, you really think they're going to listen to us, bro?
We got to spread the word. This is our best option.
Excuse me. Can I help you guys?
Look, we need somebody to get on the radio
and warn people to stay out of the water.
And why would I do that?
- Sharks, my dude. - Yeah, bad-ass sharks, bro.
We were out on the breakwater and there's a whole bunch of 'em.
And people are dead.
So I'm supposed to just take your word for this?
Okay, tell you what. Let me call the police,
see what they say.
Yo, we just talked to the police. We were just there.
Let me guess. They don't believe you guys.
Please, you got to believe us, all right?
Just go on the air and let people know what's going on.
Look, I'm sorry, guys, but I can't go on with this
unless I talk to the authorities. Nothing I can do.
If you'll excuse me, I have to be back on the air.
Thank you.
- Well, that went great. - Shut up.
All right, who else should we warn?
Well, we got the marina, the senior center.
Are you stupid?
Old people don't swim, bro. They play shuffleboard.
Well, then what about the Yacht Club?
They got a private beach, don't they?
Are you serious, bro? They're never gonna believe us.
No, we got to at least try. It's the right thing to do.
Come on.
Well, if it isn't the pepperoni brothers.
I hope you guys are here to deliver a pizza.
If not, I'm going to have to call security.
You know, you got this vein on your forehead
that looks like it's just about ready to pop.
You blew up my boy's boat.
It was an accident.
Listen, we just want to talk to you, all right?
Make it quick...
Balzac.
You got to shut the club's beach down now.
What, are you guys funny?
Some kind of joke?
This isn't a joke.
These waters are infested with albino sharks.
Sharks?
Yeah, like killer sharks, bro.
One of them killed JP.
Okay, I realize that your brain cells
are a little messed up from all the hair gel,
so I'm going to speak really slowly.
Johnny...
Pelligrino...
drowned.
- I'm going to knock this kid out. - Chill. Chill. Chill.
I'm scared.
Why don't you guys make yourself useful?
Go bake me a calzone,
extra cheese, hold the black olives.
You're going to be sorry.
You're still here.
I'm already sorry.
Come on.
Joey Fatone's about to go on.
I got an idea. Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
Sharks.
(Music playing)
Reporter: I'm here at the Jersey Shore
where Joey Fatone,
formerly of 'NSYNC, is about to perform.
I'm very excited.
(Cheering)
(chuckles) You call this a venue?
I mean, when I asked you to book me something,
like, on a boardwalk, I meant Atlantic City,
not Seaside Heights.
This is embarrassing.
Justin wouldn't put up with this.
Thank goodness. Joey Fatone.
Can we talk to you for a minute?
Listen, I don't do autographs before my performance, okay?
No, we don't want your autograph.
Why not?
We need you to make some kind of warning over the mic,
let people know what's going on.
There are white-finned killer albino sharks out there.
Excuse me?
(laughs) Wait.
White-finned killer albino sharks?
- Yeah. - That's a good one.
Where did you get these guys? Did you hired them?
You guys are like the... oh, never mind. I got to go.
Yo, Fatone, we're serious!
Joey, my mother loves you.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Joey Fatone.
(Cheering)
All right, welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
It's so great to be here at Seaside...
Heights. Yeah.
All right, ladies,
this one's for you.
(Pop music playing)
(cheering)
Joey!
- (Microphone feedback) - (screaming)
Whoa!
Joey Fatone just got eaten by a shark.
Reporter: Folks, you're not going to believe this.
Joey Fatone, formerly of 'NSYNC,
has just been eaten by a shark.
Everyone we spoke to was shaken by the events.
I've lived on this beach my whole life. I've never seen anything like it.
It was terrible.
It came out of nowhere.
A shark on the Jersey frigging Shore.
Like Moby Dick, but with a fin.
Right now, the water is full of fishermen
all trying to catch the shark that killed legend Joey Fatone.
TC: I know what we saw.
It grabbed him right out of the water.
We got to do something, but no one's listening.
You want to talk about sharks, I'll tell you about sharks
that'll make your pubes stand up straight
like the first time you saw a naked booty.
Wait. You seen 'em, too?
Back in 1916, my grandfather
worked on the boardwalk when it was first being built.
Lots of construction.
A big undertaking at the time.
It was a deadly heat wave that summer.
One day, this man, Van-something,
- took a swim with his mutt. - (dog barking)
He was throwing this ball,
watching his dog get all excited and fetching,
when, all of a sudden, people said
he started screaming and flailing his arms.
(Man screaming faintly)
At first, they thought he was joking around,
but then he started moving... pshew...
like a rocket, back and forth.
He was being attacked.
The next time he brought up his arms,
there was only one there.
He was being attacked by bull sharks.
A whole school of them settled right in off the boardwalk.
It was known as the Jersey Shore shark attack.
So the night they completed construction on the boardwalk,
my Grandpa Sallie and a group of his paisans
went out to try to catch one of those fricking things.
So they figured they could make a couple of fazools
letting people take pictures next to it.
So they go out to sea on this little dinghy,
armed with fish heads
and some pecorino romano to lure these bastards in.
And they waited.
And they waited so long.
Not to mention after a few bottles of grappa,
they fell asleep on the boat.
Passed out cold for a good hour.
Now, sharks rely on vibrations to hunt.
Just so happens my Grandpa Sallie's
what my nona called
"russare come una mucca."
What's that mean?
"Snores like a cow."
Wait a minute, Sallie. Cows snore?
The shark was able to track them
from the vibrations of his snore.
And in an all-out attack,
the shark rammed my grandpa's boat
so it knocked him right in the water.
- (Splashes) - What did your grandpa do?
He only had a minute.
This big-ass shark was coming straight for him.
He took aim with his harpoon and, bada-bing,
- shot him through his left eye. - Why the left?
Because that's the eye of the devil.
There it is,
in perfect condition.
That's hard-core, yo.
Wait a second.
You said that back in the day,
they were building the boardwalk, right?
Now, you also said that sharks are attracted to vibrations.
There you go.
What are you talking about, bro?
I'm saying the reason why you never seen an albino shark
is because they probably live
way out in the middle of the ocean,
maybe even on the bottom of the ocean floor.
There's no way they would make it out to the Jersey Shore
unless they were being attracted by something,
just like the last time.
The vibrations from Dolan's drilling.
But now it's worse.
Bigger construction...
bigger sharks.
GUYS! Guys!
Hey, you guys better come with me.
Baby, what is it?
It's Nooki.
She's acting like a real frigging wackadoo.
Thank you, Sallie.
We gotta bounce.
Yeah, thanks, Sallie. Really interesting.
(Dance music playing)
(men cheering)
I have had it with this place.
She just had 15 Jell-O shots.
Freaking disgrazia, bro.
Hey, everybody, pizza's here.
(Chuckles)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Let her do her thing, bro.
Just back off, scumbag, okay?
That's hilarious,
The Constipation calling me a scumbag.
Shouldn't you be in jail for blowing up my boat?
Oh, right, right. I forgot.
Your cop daddy bailed your loser ass out once again.
You're right. Thank you.
- Nooki, come on. - Dance.
Hey, you should at least let her finish the show.
I got a lap dance coming to me.
- Oh!'
Dude, he freaking jacked him, bro.
- Let's go. - Okay.
I just want to dance.
Your time is up, guys.
This whole place is about to change.
What the hell's the matter with you?
What's with the bug up your ass?
I was just trying to have some fun.
Yeah? You're having fun? Well, you're acting like a tramp.
(Chuckles) Oh, please.
What do you care, anyways?
Where's De'Angela?
Swimming in her skank tank?
I told you I don't remember what happened that night.
Yeah, but I don't believe you.
You are a lying sack of steaming ugatz.
That's all you are.
Whatever.
This guy over here.
- Nooki, no. - Honey.
You want to dance with me?
- Let's go. - Yes.
- Oh, my God. - Let's go dance to the car.
Yeah.
♪ We'll dance till our hearts feel light ♪
♪ We've got to go all the way I
♪ And make them all want to play. ♪
As you can see, there's no need to panic.
The shark that killed Joey Fatone has been caught.
And who are you?
I'm a marine biologist.
And this shark is a carcharhinus leucas albus.
It's an albino deepwater bull shark.
And you believe this is the same shark
that killed Mr. Fatone?
First of all, this albino bull shark
is extremely rare.
Because it usually lives at depths up to 2,200 feet,
it's rarely seen within 50 miles of the shore.
There's probably been less than 10 sightings
of the carcharhinus leucas albus on record.
Therefore, mathematically,
it's highly likely that this is the exact shark
that killed Mr. Fatone.
Prove it.
Why don't you stick your frigging hand up its throat and check?
(Cameras clicking)
(pops)
(crowd gasps)
On behalf of Dolan Industries,
I would like to present these very brave gentlemen
with a check for $20,000
for protecting the residents of Seaside Heights
on this Fourth of July holiday.
(Applause)
Thank you very much, Walter Dolan.
Patrick, can I talk to you for a minute?
I'm in the middle of...
In private, please.
I'll be right back.
You want to tell me why you're opening the beaches?
Apparently you're not up on current events.
Look over there. The danger's over.
Why, because you caught one shark?
No, because we caught the one shark that killed Joey Fatone.
Oh, right. So you think that's the only shark out there?
Nick, there have been sharks berthed out here for generations.
We never had a problem.
Maybe a few surfers nipped here and there.
Patrick, listen to me. We are not talking about
some accidental surfing attack here.
We're talking about that shark. It jumped out of the water,
grabbed Joey Fatone, and went back into the water.
That's an intentional, vicious kill.
That is a one-time freaking accident.
My office has received several missing persons reports.
That makes me afraid
that there's more sharks out there like that one.
My son said he saw several yesterday,
and I should have listened to him.
Look, I recommend a rollout, strong postings
up and down all of the beaches,
every entrance and exit around the boardwalk.
Are you out of your mind?
People drown here every holiday weekend.
Kids get liquored up and go swimming. It's tragic.
But do you really expect me to close everything down
on the Fourth of July weekend and create a panic?
Do you know what kind of chaos that will bring?
Do you know what that will do to business?
Patrick, you're not listening to me about these sharks.
Do I have to remind you that your son was arrested yesterday
on the marina, okay, city property?
I could press charges. The bottom line is this.
The emergency is over. The shark is dead, okay?
Case closed.
Capisce, Mr. Italian?
- Sure. - Thank you. Excuse me.
Reporter: Now that the shark
that killed Joey Fatone has been caught,
the beaches are open and people are ready to put this
horrible tragedy behind them.
You take a look at that seismic report?
What about it?
I think we're pushing a little too hard.
Oh, now you think we pushed a little too hard.
Yesterday you tell me to triple the RPMs.
Now you think we pushed too hard.
Look, don't sweat it.
Tomorrow they're cementing the pylons.
The only thing you have to worry about
is where to spend that big bonus.
Ah, the old lady wants to go into the city to see "Phantom."
- Again. - "Phantom."
Not me, man. I'm going to Vegas.
What is that?
- Nothing. - What do you mean nothing?
Right there. You don't see that? What is that?
It's probably bluefish. Who cares?
It's the Fourth of July and I got a barbecue to get to.
- Come on. - Richie, I'm telling you
there's something in the water right there.
Hey, I'm going to check it out before the drill.
Mike, where you going?
I'm telling you, Richie, something's down there.
I'm going to check it out. I'll check the drill later.
(air hisses)
Mike.
What, are you bobbing for apples? Come on. Get your gear.
Let's get out of here. I'm starving.
All right, I'm coming. I'm coming. What's your rush?
Come on, Mike.
Mike, stop messing around.
What the...?
- Mike! - Richie!
- Mike! Mike! - Something's got me, Rich!
- Mike! Mike! - Pull me out! Ow! Ow!
Mike! Mike!
(Screams)
(electricity crackling)
(thumping)
Yo, what's the deal with you and Nooki, bro?
Either you're totally into each other,
or she's giving Bradford a lap dance. What's up with that?
I mean, you guys been, what, off and on for over a year now?
Yeah. I screwed up, Donnie. So what?
- All right. - You think?
I'm just at the club hanging out,
and De'Angela comes up. She starts rubbing up against me.
I mean, what am I supposed to do?
I think you should let Nooki know how you feel, that's all.
Yeah, she's maybe putting on the drama queen act, bro.
But I'm telling you, that meatball's totally crazy about you.
- Yeah, right. - Well, so then get over it.
Either say you're sorry or go hook up with someone new.
Oh, I don't think he wants to do that, Paulie.
Wait. Do you?
Look, you morons,
we got enough problems with those sharks out there.
I don't need any more.
- Now, are we pumped? - Yeah.
- Are you guys ready? - Yeah.
Well, we got work to do, so come on.
Come on, let's go.
(Screaming)
We're taking the yacht out to the Cove later this afternoon.
Full bar, rocking music.
Come on. What do you say?
Dock number's on the back.
This is Shore Air One. All clear.
This is Harbor Two. Nothing here.
Copy that.
(Helicopter whirring)
- Fins. Look for fins. - I know what to look for.
I know what to look for.
(ringtone plays)
Yo, Complication.
- Anything? - No, nothing.
But we're looking.
I'll holler at you if we see anything.
- TC, I really need to talk to you. - Not now, De'Angela.
Look, about the other night, we didn't do anything.
I mean, I wanted to, but you passed out,
and I slept on your bed. That's it.
I'm sorry.
Really?
Hey, De'Angela. Hey, come on, let's go.
Later, TC.
'(Spanks) '(giggles)
He knew De'Angela and I went to high school together.
How could he do that?
Look, I don't mean any offense,
but these guidos, they got no potential.
No kidding.
I feel such a tool.
I always fall for guys like that, you know?
'Cause I'm attracted to the muscles, the tight abs.
Don't even get me started with the hair.
- There's a lot more to it than that. - I know.
You need a guy who's gonna take care of you.
Ain't that the truth.
What are you doing later today?
Why?
A couple of my friends and I are taking my stepfa...
my yacht out to the Cove.
Should be a good time.
You should come with us.
Ain't there some kind of rule against that sort of thing?
For a beautiful girl like you, rules are meant to be broken.
(slurps)
- Hey, hey, hold on. - Looks good.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. Listen, sweetheart,
I know you want to cool off those hot honkers,
but you should stay out of the water.
Wow.
- They're amazingly real-like. - Pig!
- Wow. - What did I do?
- The worst. - What?
You better get on your game.
All right. Get on up there.
Girls, just leave your bags and purses and stuff
down in the cabin, all right?
Not bad, right? I think it will do.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
What are you talking about?
Going to the Cove with sharks in the water?
This is something we've been planning.
Do you know how much ass I had to kiss
to get my stepfather to let us use this yacht?
I don't know, man.
Even if there are 1,000 sharks out there,
this thing's a tank, pal.
Nothing can touch us.
Besides...
I got a special guest coming.
Is this a joke?
What's the guido expression?
DTF?
I get it. You're going to hell, buddy.
Oh, it's way too late for me.
This is your boat?
Yeah.
You...
look incredible.
I know.
Hey, why don't you go on UP?
- Okay. - Make yourself comfortable.
Help yourself to some champagne.
- Let me help you. - Okay.
Spencer,
please help the beautiful lady with her bag, will you?
Absolutely.
Oh, my God. Okay.
It's good. (chuckles)
Bon voyage.
Let's get this show underway!
♪ Ticktock, man, the world keeps spinning ♪
♪ And the world keeps spinning ♪
♪ Ticktock, yeah, the world keeps spinning ♪
♪ The world keeps spinning ♪
♪ Ticktock, man, the world keeps spinning ♪
♪ And the world keeps spinning ♪
♪ Unh, don't believe what you see on the TV screen ♪
♪ Or anything that you read in a magazine I
♪ Kind of hard when you ain't ever had a thing ♪
♪ Look in shorty's eyes, you can see that he have a dream ♪
♪ To move solo, get the money, 'cause it's 'bout the cream ♪
♪ By any means, yes, I do really got to scheme ♪
♪ Uh-huh, see, he addicted to the fast life ♪
♪ Had no cash when he passed through his past life ♪
♪ Yeah, he did a little wrong, never asked twice I
♪ Top of the world, do you really know what that's like? ♪
♪ Having such a good time when the fun stops ♪
♪ Walking from the club... ♪
Check it out, baby.
Eight-pack.
You know you want to take a picture.
Mmm.
This one's for my hunk album.
Yeah, baby.
(Roars)
(both screaming)
Oh. my God!
Help! He")! Help me!
(Crowd screaming)
(screams)
Come on! We got to save those girls.
- Let's go! - Wait!
My stupid shoe.
Get out of the water! Sharks!
Get them out of there. Right now! Hurry up!
Come on! Get out! Come on, kids. Come on. Come on.
Let's go! Let's go!
(Screaming)
MY hero!
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
(Groaning)
What did you see?
It was crazy. I was just sitting on the beach, right,
and out of nowhere, this big white shark
with these bloodred eyes just popped up.
Will you ever go in the water again?
You kidding me? I can't even take a shower.
Pound it. Explode it. Rain it down.
Good job, guys-
Thank God. You guys are okay.
Where the hell's Nooki?
Where is she?
She just texted me. She's at the Cove.
- The cove? - Yeah.
She's with Bradford on his yacht.
- She's with Bradford? - Yeah.
- On a boat? - With those things out there?
Go ahead. Go on.
- Come on! - Where we going, bro?
To set my girl.
Let's go.
Be careful.
It's a Jersey Shore shark attack.
Several people are dead,
dozens are wounded, and it's all on the Fourth of July.
Right now, everyone from Sandy Hook to Beach Haven
are being warned, "Yo, stay away from the water, bro."
All right, grab as much as you can carry.
TC, your father's going to have your balls for this.
I'll take my chances, Paulie.
Now let's do this.
Now that's what I'm talking about, bro.
All right, let's hurry up.
We good, bro?
Almost.
Now we're good.
Hey, don't worry, bro. We'll get her back.
Come on. Let's fish-fry these mofos.
T, you're not going to seriously hot-wire a police boat, are you?
Of course not.
I got this.
Let's roll!
Spencer: Hey, it's not the Cove, but does this work, skipper?
(Hip-hop music playing)
This looks good. Drop anchor.
Aye, aye, captain.
(Bass thumping)
- Hi. - Hi.
You know, some of the girls are going to go skinny-dipping.
Yeah, not this meatball.
This is how we do it.
The best food, best drink,
best everything.
- I can't. - Of course you can.
I should work on my tan.
Can't let this good sun go to waste.
Allow me.
Thanks, but I can manage myself.
It's 'cause of TC, isn't it?
He can't give you half the things I can.
You want new shoes for every day of the year? Done.
New clothes? Done.
All you have to do is ask.
TC needs two-for-one coupons to buy a pizza.
Why are you Waspy guys so materialistic?
We own all the material.
(Scoffs) Whatever.
Hey, you should join me up on the sundeck.
- Clothing optional. - Yeah, I'll pass.
Hey, buddy, you got a problem.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Penelope.
We get into one little fight,
and you go slumming it with a guidette?
What are you talking about?
What guidette?
I guess that would be me.
Why don't you invite her to join us up on the sundeck?
Clothing optional.
Isn't that what you said?
I was... I was just kidding around.
What's the matter?
You don't want to oil me up anymore?
I'm going to put all those kickboxing classes to good use.
(laughs) Hear that? She's going to kick your ass.
No, I'm talking to you, Bradford.
(Groaning)
- (chuckles) - (groans)
Behind you. Behind you! There's a shark!
You think I'm going to fall for that?
(Screams)
(clamoring)
Oh, my God.
Raise the anchor.
Start the boat.
(Screams)
We got to go.
- Start it! - I'm trying to start it.
Everyone, get to the center of the boat!
It won't start.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
I'm calling my stepfather.
No bars? Are you kidding me?
(Grunting) Sharks!
Fricking sharks.
- Start. Start. - Lt won't start.
- Start it! - Lt won't start.
What about the anchor?
I'll buy another one.
(Clamoring)
Spencer, where's my purse so I can call for help?
Everything's downstairs. Just check the cabin.
Cw!
Somebody!
- (Wood creaks) - What the hell was that?
Nooki: Somebody!
Somebody help me!
I'm stuck.
My foot is stuck!
Hey, get off the rail! Get out of here! Come on!
Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away.
Come on, move! Move! Move! Get out of here!
Oh, my God.
Get off!
My God.
Let 'em have it.
(Gasping)
Somebody!
Donnie: Wow. Look at that.
BJ: Oh, my God. It's sinking.
Paulie, get us closer!
You got it.
I issued those permits
based on the condition that you would limit the drilling.
You issued those permits
so I would bankroll the face-lift of your town.
You both knew?
What? What do you want?
Town ordinance. It's been on the books since 1916.
"In light of strong evidence that underwater construction
around the boardwalk may disrupt local sea life,
all underwater drilling below sea level
is strictly prohibited."
Does that sound familiar to you, Patrick?
Hey, I take the risks, fella, so you can reap the rewards.
No, no, no. I heard you tell Patrick
- you paid him off for those permits. - Hey, hold on a minute.
Even when you saw what was happening, people were dying,
Patrick, you kept drilling. You just kept going!
For the record, I warned him about the drilling.
No, no, no, no. It's too late. I'm going public with this.
Hey, hey, hey, fella, remember, one hand washes the other.
Well, my hands are clean in this.
Boom! There they are.
- Over here! - Over here!
- Look out!
Fins in the water.
- Showtime. - BJ: Yay, guns.
- Here you go. - Yay! Ohh!
- Here you go, babe. - Let's go.
We got to get those people off the yacht.
- There's one! - Get it, T!
Whoa!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! I 90¢ one! I 90¢ one!
- Nice shot, babe. - Let's go!
Yo, they're everywhere!
J-Moni: OMG, look at that.
I hate sharks!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
- Rain it down. - Rain it down.
- For JP! - Watch your back!
Say hello to my little friend!
Oh!!
Boy, the frigging thing just dented my shoe.
I just got these things.
Whoo!
Paulie, bring us along the side.
- This good? - Abandon ship!
- Go! - Whoo!
Nooki!
Where the hell is Nooki?
How the hell should I know?
Nooki!
- Let's go. Get 'em on. - Come on.
- Ah, thanks, man. - No problem.
- Here you go. - Hurry it up.
Oh, I like your shoes.
- Hurry it up. - Excellent, buddy.
Help! Somebody!
- TC: Nooki! - TC!
I'm down here!
Help me!
TC! Oh, my God.
- My foot's stuck. - Okay.
- Yeah, my foot, it's stuck. - All right. All right.
- Hang tight. - Okay. Okay.
That's it.
(People screaming)
Reporter: The boardwalk is under attack.
I repeat, the sharks are attacking the boardwalk.
Whatever you do, don't come down here, yo.
Get your asses off the pier, damn it!
Hurry! Hurry!
(Gasping)
That's it.
(Screams) Oh, my God!
There's a shark! There's a shark!
Okay.
Oh, my God.
You came for me?
And a few other hotties.
(Chuckles)
There's only one hottie left on this boat.
I love you, Nicolina Angela Santamaria.
I love youse, too, Gino Giuseppe Santino Moretti.
- Come on. - Oh, God.
Come on. Let's bounce.
- Okay. - Hang on.
(Screaming continues)
(electricity crackles)
(screams)
What do you say, babe? Think we can make it?
After you.
- Let's go. - Oh, poor baby.
- Come on, meatball. - Nooki.
Oh, gosh, we were so worried about you.
- All right, we good? - Let's get the hell out of here!
Bradford: Wait! Don't leave me!
I say we let him go down with the ship, bro.
We can't just leave him there.
What, are you serious?
That's the difference between us and them.
(Gasps)
- I got it. Watch out. - (screaming)
Yeah!
- Come on. - You all right?
Moretti: Sharks have been spotted in the marina.
All harbor units, respond.
TC: Let's go get 'em, guys!
- Here we go! - Yo, I got 'em!
They're right here around the corner.
- OMG. - There they are.
Come on, Donnie, let's get those sharks.
- Paulie, slow the boat! - Okay, we got this.
- Oh, look! I see one. - Hey!
I've never fired a gun before.
It's like a water gun with a little more kick.
Nooki, you ready?
- Oh, my God. - Yo, right there!
- Nice shot. - Oh, no, you didn't.
- Sharks don't stand a chance. - Watch your back.
There's one right there.
Go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Everybody off!
Everybody off! Come on, let's go! Let's go!
Help! Somebody help me!
Help me!
(Coughs)
Help me!
Tommy, take these. Take these.
- Take that. - J-Moni.
Crack that mother. Crack him.
Whoo!
- That's what I'm talking about. - Oh, you like that?
Come on, swim!
Swim!
Help me! Someone!
Come on, swim!
Paulie: Yo, TC! It's your dad!
Moretti: Kick!
- I'm out. - I'm out of ammo. You?
- Paulie? - I'm out.
HEY
Make it count.
Smile, you stupid fish.
(Roars)
- Yeah! - Yeah!
Yeah!
- Whoo! - That's right, TC!
Come on! Come on!
Come on and grab her.
Put her there. Right here. Right here.
I got you, babe.
Come on.
- Thank you. - Pop!
L 901 you.
- Good job, son. - I did good?
Yeah. You did great.
(thumping)
I got to get to that drill.
Go ahead. Go.
Everybody okay? You all right?
I think so, yeah.
What is he doing?
Whoo!
(Cheering)
Guidos! Guidos! Guidos!
Guidos! Guidos!
Guidos! Guidos! Guidos!
- Whoo! - Guidos! Guidos!
- TC! - Guidos!
(Cheering)
- I got to get my man. - Yeah, baby, you go get him.
- Go, girl. - You go get him.
- Yeah! - Whoo!
We're getting reports that the worst is over.
The drill has been deactivated,
and there are currently no signs of shark activity
here on the Jersey Shore.
We'll update you in the days ahead
as the final death toll is calculated.
Reporting live from Seaside Heights,
this is... (screams)
(dance music playing)
♪ My body's calling ♪
♪ Right here and now ♪
♪ My intuition's calling I
♪ But, boy, I think you're falling ♪
♪ I am predicting that it's going to be tonight, oh ♪
♪ To touch me, oh, so right ♪
♪ Under the moonlight ♪
♪ I predict this party's never going to end, no ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Where's the party? ♪
♪ Right here, right now ♪
♪ Come on and touch me ♪
♪ Come on and hold me ♪
♪ I need your loving ♪
♪ Baby, touch me right now I
♪ I need your loving ♪
♪ Right here, right now ♪
T MY, my, my body's waiting I
♪ And I'm anticipating ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ My body's craving you tonight, boy ♪
♪ I had a premonition ♪
♪ Lt gave you my permission ♪
I To touch me anywhere you wanted to tonight, boy ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Where's the party? ♪
♪ Right here, right now ♪
- ♪ Come on and touch me ♪ - ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
- ♪ Come on and hold me ♪ - ♪ Hold me I
♪ I need your loving ♪
♪ Baby, touch me right now I
- ♪ Where's the party? ♪ - ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
- ♪ Whoa, oh ♪ - ♪ The party's started ♪
♪ Started here right now, boy ♪
- ♪ Touch me I - ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
- ♪ Baby ♪ - ♪ Baby, touch me ♪
♪ You know how, you know how ♪
♪ You know how, how, how. ♪