[480p & 720p Movies Download | Mkvking.com]
- [Woman] Do you even know how to use that thing, baby?
- Of course, yeah.
It's just like using my dick, babe.
- [Woman] So that's a no, then?
- (chuckling) Well I never heard you complain before.
- [Woman] Oh, because my girlfriends and I
make fun of you behind your back.
- What?
- Oh nothing, baby.
You know I love how you rock my world.
- Pleasure, be good.
Okay.
- Do you even know where we're going?
I mean it's getting really late
and we still have to set up camp
and god, I'm freezing my tits off out here.
- Look, I will warm your tits, okay?
And just give me a minute, all right?
The guy said it was right up here somewhere, okay?
You still wanna see it, don't you?
- Well.
- Look, you know how valuable this is?
Do you have any idea?
People go crazy for this shit.
I mean if we find Alex Black's amulet,
- Well that's just it, Paul.
How do you even know what it looks like?
Have you ever seen it?
- No, I've never seen it
but that doesn't mean that we should stop
looking for it.
People go crazy over this shit, all right?
The smallest little piece of a serial killer's life
and they just eat it up.
We will be legends if we pull this off.
Are you chickenshitting out on me?
Do we need to go?
Do we need to leave? - No, of course not.
But can't we rest for a minute?
My feet are killing me.
Please?
- Give me 10 minutes, okay?
Give me 10 minutes.
If we don't find anything in 10 minutes
I'll give up, we'll look in the morning, okay?
- Ugh, fine.
- Thank you.
- But don't think yo'ure gonna get to look at these tonight.
(rock music)
- We'll look in the morning.
We'll look in the morning, that's fine.
(breathing heavily)
(moaning)
(chuckling)
(sighing)
- Now wasn't that worth putting off the search for?
- Abso-fucking-lutely.
I'm gonna take a nap, okay?
Where are you going?
- I have to take a piss.
- So do it here, so I can watch. (laughing)
- Fuck off, I'll be back in a minute.
- Foul, no clothes!
- What, bullshit.
The fuck is over, clothing is back to being optional.
- According to whose rules?
- According to mine.
She who owns the pussy makes the rules.
- Oh, okay.
She who owns the pussy makes the rules, okay.
- I'll be back in a minute.
- Yeah, yeah whatever.
(crickets chirping)
(eerie low growling)
- Paul, is that you?
Paul, quit fucking around.
I'm serious.
Hello?
- [Paul] Babe, where's my weed?
- [Woman] It's in the backpack.
- Oh my god.
Babe, babe, I think I found it.
- Holy shit Paul, you did.
You found Alex Black's amulet.
- This is what gave him all his power.
This is what made him imprevious to weapons and shit.
- Impervious, dumbass.
I heard it could also bring him back from the dead.
But that requires a blood sacrifice.
- Wow, looks like we're gonna be rich and famous, huh?
- (chuckling) One of us is.
- What?
No, no!
(screaming)
- Aw.
Poor, poor stupid Paul.
(chanting in foreign language)
Rise again, Alex Black!
Rise again, I beg of you!
(ominous music)
- Now, the story
is that Vietnamese torpedo ships launched
a surprise attack on the United States
in the Tonkin Gulf.
And two years later,
the United States reciprocated the attack.
- [DJ] You're on the line with Outlaw Dave.
You are the 13th caller.
You just one two pair of tickets
to the Sacrilegious Desecration show this weekend.
- No fucking way.
Are you fucking serious?
- [Dave] Hey, you can't say those words
on the radio.
- My friends are totally gonna shit,
this is wicked!
- [Dave] I told you, you can't say that!
- Whatever, whatever, see you there.
Haaa!
Yes, yes yes yes yes!
- Now Miss Burns, you get down here
and you put this phone up.
Oh my god.
What, oh my.
Miss Johnson, you should see,
this underwears that she's wearing.
That's what I want you to get, see, I just.
- [Teacher] The Vietnam War,
also known as - Stop, move it.
- [Teacher] the second Indo China War.
- Stop, go away.
- [Teacher] Was a cold war era proxy war.
- Oh!
Oh my god.
(whistling)
- What's that Mr. Youngblood?
- Oh, I was just whistling because, wow, Vietnam.
Yeah.
- Eloquently put, Kevin.
Now the United States government would have you believe
that the Vietnam conflict arose because--
(bell ringing)
Dammit.
That's time, folks.
Have a great weekend
and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
- That doesn't leave a whole lot.
You smell like weed, dude.
- What's that, Mr. Youngblood?
- I said you too, sir.
- Real smooth, dude.
- Shut up.
- Jamie, what the hell?
If Mr. Miller would have seen you,
your ass would have been busted.
- So what?
Miller can eat me.
- Hey, I thought that's what I got paid to do.
- Then I'm paying too much for the service.
- Hey, I'd love to munch your tang
like a fat kid eating cake.
- You two seriously need to get a room.
- Yeah, one with plastic on the walls
to prevent stains from your bodily fluids.
- Not a problem.
She got me covered.
Ooh, (gurgling)
- You ass.
I know someone who's got a date with Rosie Palm
and her five sisters tonight.
- As long as you give me a skin target, I'm game.
- You two are seriously twisted.
- Totally.
So, Heather, I've got a surprise for you.
- Is that what you flashed Mr. Miller's class for?
- Well yeah.
But trust me, it's totally worth it.
Great, spazzoid's here.
- Hi Heather.
Hi sis.
- Didn't mom tell you never to make eye contact
with me while we're on school grounds.
- Yes.
- Hey Larry, how's it going?
- Did you see there's gonna be an exhibit
on the mating habits of a Loxosceles reclusa next week
at the Museum of Natural Science?
The Loxosceles reclusa.
The Brown Recluse Spider!
- Oh, right, right.
Uh, really?
Wow, that's amazing, Larry, but,
- Dude, she's already got plans, spazzoid.
Why don't you go hump some other chick's leg?
- Maybe some other time, yeah?
- Yeah, that's cool.
Have a good weekend, guys.
- You too, Larry.
- Hey Larry.
- [Jamie] Hi, Caroline.
- So, what's the big surprise, Jamie?
- Oh, okay, okay.
We are now the proud owners of
four tickets to the Sacrilegious Desecration concert
this fucking weekend!
- No shit?
- Really, holy shit, where is it?
- It's up in Woodland Hills.
- Woodland Hills?
- Yeah, Woodland Hills.
Doesn't your mom have a cabin up there?
- Well yeah, but um.
- Okay well, the concert's tomorrow night
so if we leave in the morning,
we can have the rest of the weekend
to party our fucking asses off!
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
- Mom will never go for it.
I haven't been to that cabin since I was a little girl,
not unsupervised, anyways.
- Bullshit!
- No, I'm serious.
Since it's just the two of us,
mom's gotten weird about me going off without her.
I mean hell yeah, let's go get drunk
and rock and roll until we puke!
- That's the spirit.
- Hell yeah, road trip.
- I just, I don't know how I'm gonna clear it with my mom.
- Just beg her.
Please, pwetty please.
Pwinsess wants to have some fun
before her pussy dries up and she's in a nursing home.
- Very funny, Jamie.
I'll ask, but trust me
Mom will never say yes.
- Yeah she will.
- [Kevin] You know we've done everything else.
(light music)
- Oh jeez, what the hell are you reading now?
- 10 surefire ways to keep him happy in bed.
- Is leave him the fuck alone one of them? (chuckling)
- Who the fuck said I'm talking about you, asshat?
- Jimmy twist.
- [Cop] Hey guys.
- Howdy, how's it hanging?
- Oh Lou, you're always so much in my crotch.
- Mhm, well, bored all day with this pain in the butt
I figured your genitals might amuse me,
Deputy Matthews.
- It's Sheriff Matthews.
I was elected last month, you may recall.
- Wow, very nice, but I'm sorry
I don't vote, Sheriff.
- They don't let sex offenders vote.
- (laughing) Hardy goddamn har.
Look, listen to this comedian, huh?
Well you married this so-called sex offender
so what does that make you?
Some lowlife slutbag?
- As this slutbag is so painfully reminded every night
you come stumbling into bed
smelling like hamburger grease and raccoon farts.
- Goddamit Bonnie, it was a possum.
She doesn't even know the difference.
- Easy guys, easy.
- Dumbass.
- Easy.
- What's up, Sheriff?
- This is a fascinating conversation,
I'm sure that it's the highlight of my whole day
but I didn't come in here to listen to you guys
bicker about burgers and beer.
- Is there something wrong, Sheriff?
- Hey, hey, hey, you got that strange look on your face
I haven't seen in about six years.
- You remember there was a couple
that came into town last week?
Young couple?
- Yeah, yeah, that was them,
honeymooners, I remember.
- Yeah.
Paul and Dana Farmer from Mayland County.
- That's right, they were talking about
going camping up near Woodland Hills.
- That's right.
- Just leave it up to a man to think his wife
wants to swat skeeters by a lake all night long.
- Just like a woman to remind a husband
what a pain in the ass she could be
when he takes you on a nice vacation!
- Anyway.
- It was some skeeters I was swatting.
Keep it up, I'll swat you.
- Hey listen, they're missing
and they've been gone for about a week.
Have you seen them?
Did they come in here at all?
- Yeah they came in here,
they came and asked a bunch of questions.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Like what?
- Questions, questions they had no business asking.
- Such as?
- [Bonnie] They asked about you know who.
- You know who, you mean Alex Black?
- That's right.
Asked about his powers, where the hell he was buried,
the legend behind, you know, all that other nonsense.
- Lou, what did you tell them?
- I told them what I tell everyone else.
Just a bunch of stories, that's about it.
The girl seemed kind of bored
and mentioned there was a rumor
that Alex's necklace was spotted up
near Adrienne's place.
- Adrienne?
- That's right, Adrianne.
- Adrienne Palmer?
- It's the only Adrienne I know, Sheriff.
- Hmm.
I didn't realize she was back in town.
- [Bonnie] Yeah, she comes down here every once in a while
to swipe alcohol from us.
- You don't happen to know
where she's hanging out these days, do you?
- Yeah, where she at, up on the hill.
- [Bonnie] Chuck's old place.
- Beat up old house that Chuck Russell used to--
- I know that place all too well.
- Right.
- Well, you two.
Thanks for the coffee.
- My pleasure.
- Bonnie.
Lou, just say no.
- You think they spoken since she got out
of the nuthouse?
- For his sake, I sure as hell hope so.
- Kevin, you want this shit?
Yeah.
Oh!
- [Kevin] Shit's harsh, dude.
- Yeah?
- [Kevin] Yeah.
- You get it from the same guy?
- [Kevin] Yeah.
Fuck, here, you want some?
- Fuck yeah.
- Here you go.
Need another beer.
- Here, take this, take that.
Fucking. - Shitting motherfuckers!
(knocking)
(cicadas chirping)
- [Sheriff] Adrienne, I need to talk to you,
can you open the door?
- All right, relax.
Look at that.
Nobody told me
it was my birthday. - Hi.
(chuckling)
Hey, um, just one second.
- Shut the door.
There's bad people out there.
- [Sheriff] That's very funny, but I'm on police business
and if we could.
- Okay.
I will button up for business.
I don't wanna offend your delicate sensibilities.
- Thank you.
- Come.
- Looks like you weren't expecting anybody.
- Because I fired the cleaning lady
because that bitch,
(speaking in foreign language)
- Yeah, it's hard to find good help,
you know, that's what they always say.
- What?
- Nothing, never mind.
- Yeah, um.
(clinking)
- Sorry.
- That, that's okay.
That's okay.
Because tomorrow, I'm gonna spring clean.
- Good.
- [Adrienne] What do you want to drink?
With me.
Coffee, vodka.
- Cup of coffee would be great
if it's not too much trouble.
- There's no trouble for you, Deputy Dwayne Matthews.
Cream sugar or vodka?
- [Dwayne] Cream and sugar would be good, thanks.
- Cream and sugar would be good.
All right.
But,
that's for you.
- Thanks, no no, I'm good.
- I like a little kick with mine.
- I could see that.
(coughing)
- So, I, uh, It's good?
- It's great, it's great.
It's a little strong, but,
it's all right, I like it strong.
- I am happy you're here, Deputy.
- You know, it's actually Sheriff now.
- [Adrienne] Whoah.
- I won an election.
- Wow, that's awesome.
What, did the other Sheriff die?
- No, no, he retired which is kind of why I won,
it wasn't too hard.
- Huh.
Who knew?
- Well I was at the Gas and Gulp.
And Lou down there,
- That guy's a dick.
- Yeah, I know he's a dick.
But he said that you might be able to help me with this.
- Oh yeah?
- Can you take a look?
- What?
I wouldn't kick them out of bed.
You probably would 'cause you're funny now.
But what'd they do, steal a duck
from Sanderson's farm?
- No, they didn't steal a duck.
They're missing actually.
And they rented a,
they rented a campsite, they went for a hike
and then nobody heard from them.
It's been about a week.
- So big time Sheriff has resorted
to chasing down kids that ducked out on a 10 dollar bill.
Don't worry, I've got money.
I will pay it for them.
- Have you seen them?
- [Adrienne] I, have I what?
- You haven't seen them, okay well,
- I hope to see them.
- Yeah.
Adrienne, thanks for your help
and for the coffee.
If you hear anything, you promise to let me know, all right?
- Yeah, you know what's really funny, Sheriff?
- [Dwayne] What's that?
- Kids go missing, they go missing in another town
and maybe they're off canoeing.
Maybe they're fucking.
Maybe they just decided to go away.
But kids go missing in Woodland Hills.
- [Dwayne] Hey.
- And everybody fucking knows!
- Alex Black is dead, Adrienne.
He's dead.
All right, we buried him.
- I've seen them.
- Do you even remember any of it?
Are you just too drunk to remember?
(light music)
- I remember everything.
I remember everything that happened.
And I remember every goddamn day
that I was in that shithole of an institution.
Oddly enough, I don't remember ever seeing you.
- I think that you think you're the only person
who was affected by that event.
That's what I think.
It's all about you.
I mean look around.
- Wasn't I?
Hmm?
- Adrienne I'm really sorry I didn't come to visit you.
That's the only thing I needed to say today.
- Sorry? (laughing)
That's okay.
I don't need apologies.
- I'm gonna go now.
- I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck 'cause
you smell anyways, like a fucking pig.
Like a fucking piglet.
(laughing) fucking.
I think you should come back
when you wanna fuck, piggy.
Ah fuck, fucking piece of shit.
- Goddamn, I'm so fucking sick of Jamie, dude.
- She always thinks it's about her.
- Man I cannot wait to meet Dizzy Hayes in person.
He's so fucking sexy!
- You know he's hairy as fuck.
- You think she was dropped?
Like as a kid?
- Oh, I don't know, I've never asked her.
- I'm totally gonna blow him if I get the chance.
- Really?
- I don't think Kevin would mind. (laughing)
- I'm gonna get so much fucking pussy at this concert.
It's gonna be unbelievable.
- [Tommy] From her, right?
- Who?
- Who, Jamie.
I mean that's what
we do in the cabin. - Yeah, some of it.
- [Tommy] Is she okay with that?
- Oh, yeah she's fine. - Really?
- You know, as long as she doesn't find out, she's fine.
- Oh fuck, I love this song!
They better play it at the show.
And "Tormented by my Lover", and "Stone Cold Steel Blue"
and "Whipped by the Chains of Lust".
And "Diving at the White".
- They can play everything, Jamie.
- I know.
I'm just so excited!
Woo, woo!
Yes, oh this is gonna be so fucking wicked!
- [Kevin] That's all you, bro.
- Oh fuck, this is supposed to burn?
- [Kevin] Shit yeah, that means it's working.
- Is it supposed to burn your taint?
- Yeah. (laughing) Give me the fucking joint.
- [Tommy] Here, here, take it out, take it out.
- Dammit.
- What, how do you not know how to fix this?
- I'm not a fucking scientist.
- Ugh!
- 200 bucks.
- So lame, ugh, why the fuck did you buy this thing?
- Hey guys.
A little problem here?
What's up?
- You guys need some help?
- No.
No, we're fine.
- Really?
- Yo, check it out.
- We're going too.
Sacrilegious Desecration.
- Oh shit, yeah.
- We were totally hitching but like
Nobody's picking us up out here.
You know, I know a thing or two about engines.
If you want I can take a look.
If I could run it,
- Yeah, come on look at it.
Hey, what's going on?
- How's it going?
- Okay, right on.
You guys got a place to stay out there?
- No, not yet.
- Heather.
- Oh okay.
We got a cabin, you guys can come.
- Really, that would be awesome.
- Oh snap.
- Yeah, that's my cousin.
- Baby.
- What?
- We're talking.
- So?
- I'm Ashley.
- Hey. - Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
I'm a fucking gentleman.
- Right.
- Kevin.
- All right, motherfuckers, let's roll!
- [Kevin] Woo, Sacrilegious Desecration!
- [Larry] Hey, watch it!
- Whoah, dude. - Larry, what the fuck?
- That hurt.
- What, what are you doing here?!
- What?
Mom said I could come.
- [Jamie] Oh that's bullshit.
No, no, we are taking him home right now.
- Aren't we almost there?
- I am not spending,
I'm not going to this concert with my bratty little brother!
- Come on Jamie, I don't even have to go
to the concert, just let me stay at the cabin
with you guys.
- Oh my god.
- So we might as well just let him go.
It's not gonna kill us.
Plus we need one sober person there this weekend
so he can hold on to the tickets.
- No, no fucking way.
No way.
- Well, why not?
I mean look, he's gonna be the one responsible there
so he can watch after the tickets
and we'll be fine.
I mean it's not like we can dump him.
- Fine, I'll give him the fucking tickets, here.
And you better not lose those.
Don't lose those.
I will fucking kill you myself.
- You won't even know I'm here.
I promise.
(light music)
I gotta poop.
- [Jamie] Fantastic!
- I'm gonna shit my pants!
- Bathroom's round back, honey.
- Oh god.
- I'm not getting you bean dip.
(laughing)
- Welcome to Lou's Diner, girls.
My name is Bonnie.
What can I get you?
- Uh, let's see.
Four hamburgers, four double cheeseburgers,
four hotdogs and three bags of chips.
You want anything?
- Hah, funny.
- Oh, please tell me you have bean burritos.
- Looks like someone wants to sleep alone tonight.
- Hah, no, I just need a bean burrito.
- Okay, so that'll be four hamburgers,
four double cheeseburgers, four hotdogs,
two bags of chips and a bean burrito.
- Nope, make it two.
What, I'm not driving.
- Get out while you can, honey.
- We can Dutch oven.
- Ugh.
- Need some help with that?
- What, help with what?
- Your belt, cutie.
- Uh, no, I think I got it.
Oh, you're strong.
- Looks like you're having some trouble.
- Um, no.
- Are you sure you don't need our help?
- Yeah I'm pretty sure.
- [Woman] With something?
- I thought I smelled something wet and tasty.
- Hahaha.
Hey baby.
- Never mind the baby bullshit.
Let's see what's hanging under that dress.
- What makes you think you deserve it?
- My dick will thank you later.
- Want a little preview?
- So you guys stay back later?
- No.
- Hey, Adrienne.
You gotta pay before you play!
- [Adrienne] Such a party pooper.
- Bonnie, this stupid bitch is gonna drive us
out of business.
- [Adrienne] Lay it on my tab, Lou.
- [Lou] Eat my shit, you psycho.
- What's her deal?
- Her name's Adrienne.
Poor thing's been through hell.
She grew up around these parts.
She witnessed a bunch of her friends get murdered.
By a pickaxe.
- What?
- Holy shit, that was her?
- Yeah, seriously.
She and Sheriff Matthews ran his ass off.
Been crazy as a shithouse rat ever since.
- You know what, can we just go now?
- Why, what's the matter?
- Never mind.
- [Bonnie] Your food will be ready in a few minutes.
- Okay, I'm gonna go drain the weasel.
- Uh, what?
(groaning)
(moaning)
- [Woman] Oh my god.
Good boy.
Thanks for the fun, cowboy.
We'll be seeing you around.
- [Woman] Yeah, see you around, cutie.
- Who were they?
They're hot.
- I think I just lost my virginity.
- Jerky?
- No, I've had enough of that.
- Yes you have.
Your dick's still hanging out.
- [Larry] Oh!
- Every time.
Kevin does the same thing.
- Connect the dots, lalala.
- What the hell?
- [Adrienne] You look exactly like him.
- [Heather] I'm sorry?
- Holy shit.
- Why are you touching me?
- You have Ted's eyes.
She has Ted's eyes.
- Let go of me.
- Whoah whoah, whoah, hey, crazy lady.
Why are you pawing on my girlfriend like that?
- Pawing?
I'm fucking her with my eyeballs.
- It's okay.
- I just thought she was somebody else, hombre, senor.
Ola.
- Here you go ladies.
That'll be 19 dollars and 82 cents.
- Looks like rain tonight!
High five, sister!
Yeah.
- Adrienne, you can't run our customers off that way.
You're cut off, baby.
Come on, you're cut off.
- You just wanna fuck me
and I don't like your eyelashes.
I don't like lesbians.
So fuck off.
- Come on.
Get out of here.
- Your beer's gross anyway.
- [DJ] Hell yeah!
That's the new one from Zack Star and the Vicious Vixens.
Up next, we got one from our pals
at Sacrilegious Desecration.
We're gonna be tearing it up tonight in Woodland Hills
so smoke them if you got them.
You are listening to KRAK 101.1 on your FM dial.
(rock music)
- This haul leaves a little too left
to be desired, ladies.
Three days, three fucking days
and the best thing you can get is 15 bucks
from some nerd?
And a pair of tickets to some shitty ass concert?
I mean what the fuck good are you
besides a case of slap and tickle?
- Hey!
At least we got the nerd to cream in his pants.
(laughing)
(moaning)
- You whores think I'm fucking around?
- Fuck you, Victor.
We aren't whores.
- Yeah.
We're sluts.
Whores get paid for sex.
- We're in it for sport.
- You crazy bitches could drive a moron nuts.
- I can tell we already have.
- Look, look.
Victor, baby, there haven't been that many tourists
passing through lately.
- Yeah, it's been slow.
Give us a break.
- Shut your fuckhole before I shut it for you.
Look, I'm tired.
Marilyn, get naked.
- I love it when you talk to me all romantic like.
Mmm.
Mmm, mmm.
- Unless you can help your cousin in law
schlob on this knob, why don't you do yourself a favor
and clean this place up.
- Eat me, Victor.
(giggling)
- Ooh!
(crickets chirping)
- Waste no time, guys?
Jesus.
Make yourself useful and clean this place up.
Shit.
It's dirt and weeds, asshole.
When I get back, he'll be lucky I don't tear
his balls off.
(eerie whispering)
Hello?
Victor?
Marilyn?
Hello?
Is somebody there?
You guys.
This isn't funny!
(choking)
(moaning)
- Ah yeah!
(grunting)
Wow.
You lasted almost as long as your brother did.
(laughing)
- Fuck off and die.
(screaming)
- Oh god, no!
Oh god, no!
Help me!
Oh god!
(whimpering)
(choking)
- You ugly fuck!
You just killed my best bitch, motherfucker.
And now you're gonna pay,
I'm gonna break your ass--
(cracking)
(laughing)
- [Kevin] What the fuck?
- [Jamie] 98, 99, 99 and a half!
- Hurry the fuck up, my ass is on fire!
(laughing)
- One hundred!
(laughing)
- [Kevin] Your ass is gonna get it now.
- [Tommy] Your ass is like a lobster. (laughing)
- All right, truth or dare?
- Dare.
- I was hoping you'd say that.
- Do your worst, bitch.
- I dare you to kiss Ashley.
- [Heather] Ew, no.
- Wait, what?
- Gross, come on.
- What is this supposed to be your payback or whatever?
No way, I'm not fucking doing it.
- Hey, you know the consequences
if you don't do the dare, babe.
You gotta run naked through the rosebushes outside.
- Yup.
- All right, fine, fuck it.
Whatever, I'll do it.
- I'll take the dare, Jamie.
Look, I'm still pulling thorns out of weird places.
- Fine, fine!
Fucking, I'm going to kiss her,
you fucking happy?
- No, no, bullshit!
No, a full on fucking Frenchie style
sloppy fucking tongue wrestling or it's the run.
Get out.
Rosebush, out.
Rosebush!
- No, fuck you, you never said how I had to kiss her.
- No, no ,no, see I think a vote by committee on this one
is gonna rule in Kevin's favor, right fellas?
- You are such an asshole.
- Just shut up and kiss her.
- Hey!
- What, she's breaking the rules.
You know how I feel about rulebreakers.
- [Jamie] You never said.
- Just do it and get it over with.
- Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!
- Do it. (laughing)
- (laughing) Hell yeah!
- The hell already.
No.
- I gotta put my mag down for this.
- You guys are totally warped.
- [Jamie] I'm gonna go get another bottle.
Anybody want anything?
- Yeah, some fucking potato chips.
Fuck, I got the fucking munchies
like a fucking motherfucker.
- I need another beer and pretzels,
god, lots of pretzels.
- I'll take another fifth.
- [Jamie] Take another fist.
- Hey!
- I have got to get the taste of that girl
out of my mouth.
She taste like the bottom of an ashtray.
- I know.
I guess it's really no different from kissing Kevin.
You know, I don't like that chick.
The way she looks at Kevin.
It's like a dog eyeing on a chew toy.
- Hit me?
Or like a preying mantis after having sex.
- You just had to go there, didn't you?
- Did I hear you referring to a mantis religiosa?
- Jesus, Larry, you're such a fucking dweeb.
Will you fuck off?
- Fucking off.
- Thank you.
You know he's had a crush on you
ever since that time in Old Man Cunningham's field, right?
- Um, fewer things have been more obvious
and water being wet has been less obvious.
- Where the fuck is the potato chips?
- I'm coming.
I swear if he doesn't watch his ass,
he's gonna wind up dead tonight.
- Attagirl.
Way to go, stupid.
- Ah, fuck me.
Now that we're done with the garbage
can we get ready and go to this fucking concert?
- Come on, Bonnie.
Don't you think we're getting a little too old
for this rock and puke show?
- Old, speak for yourself.
Besides I deserve a night out
after that shit you pulled last week.
And you know what, stop with the stupid
fucking accent already.
- Bonnie, one fucking guy figures out
that I'm from Brooklyn,
the mob will be here in 15 minutes.
So guess what, the goddamn accent stays, okay?
- Shit, I can only be so lucky.
(coughing)
Did you hear that?
- Hear what?
- Listen.
Boo!
- Goddammit, you almost made me shit my pants!
- Stupid chickenshit.
- What the fuck is wrong with you, woman?
- You did smell surprised.
- I've had it with this horseshit,
get on your fucking knees.
You wanna go to this show,
get on your goddamn knees
and suck my flesh flute!
Ah, nothing, get on your knees!
I've had it with this nonsense
and this garbage and all your fucking sarcasm.
- [Bonnie] Hey, you think you make bubbles
come out of my nose with your flesh flute?
- Yeah I'll make some bubbles come out of your nose
like goddamn Elmer's glue,
bubble all white and goopy all over your stupid face.
Aah.
- [Bonnie] Oh yeah, oh baby.
- God, even with my pecker down your gullet
you're useless, turn the fuck around.
- You better make this fast.
- I'll make it fast.
I'll hold my nose and pretend it's your sister.
Come in a second.
- Concert blow and rail me.
(choking)
Ugh, thank god.
What the fuck?
(screaming)
(clinking)
- Ouch!
Well?
- Well what?
- Well it's your turn to fucking dare somebody, genius.
- Oh, sorry.
- (mouths) Her, take her shirt off.
- Heather, truth or dare.
- Me?
- This is gonna be fucking lame.
- Truth.
- All right, all right, hold on,
let me think about this.
What was that weirdness with you
and that drunk bitch at the bar earlier?
- You guys heard of the legend of Alex Black, right?
How he terrorized this little town
and a girl named Adrienne Palmer was the sole survivor?
That was her.
- Holy shit.
- I thought Alex Black was just some local legend.
- No.
Every word is true.
My family, about six years ago
we came out here to just unwind,
you know, and relax.
My brother Ted, he was a bit of a rebel.
I mean a really hard partier.
He'd put us to shame.
He and some friends were throwing a party
at Old Camp Arapahoe.
It was right across the lake.
It started raining really, really hard and
his girlfriend Delia,
she was drunk off her ass
and she decided to go for a swim
in the middle of the damn storm.
She got to the middle of the lake
and Alex Black, he was there.
He was waiting for her.
He snagged her and he drowned her.
My brother, my brother Ted
he tried to save her.
But um,
Alex, he killed him too.
That's why she said that you look just like him.
She was talking about my brother.
(chuckling)
- How did she know him?
- They were friends.
She was over at my house a couple times
but I was really little then
so I didn't really get to know her.
She was the one that found my brother's body.
She's the only person to have seen Alex Black
and have survived.
She killed him right before she was committed
to an asylum in Meadow Falls.
- [Tommy] I'm so sorry, baby.
- That's awful, why didn't you tell us about this?
It's a big deal.
- How am I supposed to tell my best friends,
oh by the way, six years ago,
a serial killer stalked my brother
and killed all of his friends.
- Who needs a fucking drink? (laughing)
- Uh me, definitely me.
Thank you.
I'm sorry to be such a downer, guys.
- It's okay.
Not to totally change the subject
but we have about two hours before the show starts.
Maybe we should get changed?
- Yeah, yeah I got to take a shower anyway.
You wanna join me, big boy?
- Yeah go ahead, I'll join you in a second.
- Whatever, dude.
- Fuck.
The fuck is up with Jamie?
- [Tommy] Really?
- Dude.
Ashley.
Jamie's fucking jealous.
- Whatever dude, fucking.
Fucking chicks, man.
- Fucking chicks.
(somber music)
(eerie whispering)
(eerie music)
- This is not real.
This is not real.
(banging)
(toilet flushing)
- Ugh! - Shit, sorry.
- Watch where you're fucking going, spazzoid.
- Why don't you try and be a little bit nicer to me?
Some day, I might not be around
and you'll be pretty sorry you were ever mean to me.
- Sorry?
Oh, sorry I didn't realize nerds have feelings.
Tell you what, the day I'm nice to you
is the day I drop dead, okay?
- Yeah, whatever.
(eerie music)
- Boo!
- Oh, god, don't fucking do that again.
I almost shit myself.
- Well, you do no how to rev a girl's engines.
I've been waiting all day to do that.
- Yeah, me too.
You ready to see the anaconda?
- Anaconda?
I was gonna say I could suck you stupid
but I see someone beat me to it.
(laughing)
- Ah, yeah.
(toilet flushing)
- Shit, hey Jamie.
- Oh, sorry, I just should have been
paying more attention.
- No worries, it's cool, hey.
You been crying?
- Me, no.
Be serious.
- Come on, it's okay.
Ashley's a super bitch.
- Ah yeah she is.
I love Kevin with all my heart.
- Sweetheart, I know.
And I'm sure right now they're out there somewhere
fucking.
So, do you want to get back at them?
(moaning)
Oh yeah!
- [Jamie] Ah yeah!
Feel the tits!
- [Bill] Really?
- [Jamie] Just fucking do it, shitstorm!
(moaning)
- [Bill] Awesome! Fuck!
- [Jamie] Ah, Kevin!
Uh, Bill.
- [Bill] Fuck you!
- [Jamie] You are fucking me, stupid!
- Like read the fucking numbers!
(Jamie moaning)
- [Jamie] Oh yeah!
- I hate my life.
- [Bill] Yeah!
- Jesus, Larry.
You scared the shit out of me.
- Yeah, sorry.
I keep doing that.
- [Heather] Are you comfy?
- I'm just gonna go sleep on the couch.
See if I can block out the sound.
Big sis has loud orgasms.
- [Bill] Let go of my fucking face!
- [Jamie] Don't tell me what to do!
- [Bill] Do it!
- Larry wasn't kidding.
- Doesn't Kevin sound weird?
- Sound the way you sound when I fuck him.
- Like a mammoth.
Isn't that Bill's shirt?
- [Tommy] You're not Big Kev.
- Don't tell anybody.
Yo man, now that we're all close and shit you, uh,
we got any more food around here?
- Can we smoke some weed first?
- Yeah, we can do that.
- [Tommy] I hope you wore two socks.
- Jamie, what the hell?
Why are you wearing Bill's shirt?
- Oh, looks like I won't be getting any sleep
down here either.
- What do you think?
Fuck Kevin.
Fuck him, fuck that stupid fucking trailer park slut.
He pissed me off, you know.
So of course I go fuck the first guy
that'll have me.
Just are you surprised?
- Yo.
- Jamie.
- What, Heather?
Fuck him.
They are dead to me.
- Oh fuck.
Oh fuck, oh fuck.
(laughing)
Woo.
So on a scale of one to 10, 10 being the highest,
that's about a 32.9, right?
- Yeah right.
My dog fucks better than you do.
- What was that?
- I said yeah right,
best I ever had.
- Another satisfied customer.
Oh hey, just keep quiet about this, okay?
I plan on proposing to Jamie tonight
at the concert.
- Yeah, sure, whatever dude.
Don't worry, you're safe.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
(squishing)
- Oh fuck!
What the fuck?
(tense music)
(groaning)
I need those.
(screaming)
- Where's my wallet?
Shit, fuck!
Where's my fucking wallet?
Shit.
She's gonna kill me!
- Feeling any better?
- Ask me that again when I'm about here.
- Um, guys.
- Not now, spazzoid.
- It's kind of important.
- I'll handle it.
So what's the problem?
- I lost the tickets.
- You did what?
- I lost the tick--
What the hell, sis?
- [Bill] Whoah, what'd I miss?
- Oh, not much.
Spazzoid here just lost the fucking tickets.
- It's not like I meant to.
- Just cut him some slack.
Are you sure you lost them?
- Well they were in my wallet.
Now my wallet's gone.
I looked everywhere for it.
- I'm gonna fucking castrate you for this.
- Jamie, calm down.
Let's retrace your steps.
Where was the last place that you saw it?
- Um.
Back when we were at Lou's.
Oh dammit.
Those two ladies must have swiped it from me.
- Two ladies?
- Yeah there were these two kind of slutty tattooed girls
at the gas station that they cornered Larry and,
(laughing)
- Tommy.
Okay, so these two ladies,
they seduced you?
- They seduced him all right.
- So wait, my little brother gets his pussy diddled
by a couple of random whores
and now we have to miss out on the concert
of the fucking century?
- Whoah, chill out, sweetheart.
It's not even that big a deal.
Fuck, Ashley and I don't even have tickets.
- Well how are you and Ashley even gonna get in?
- I know the door guy.
He's a huge fucking perv, titty freak, man.
All you gotta do is show him a little
bow-chicka-wow, bow-chicka wow.
- Stop it.
- Titties.
- Oh my god, is that all, fuck.
Probably would have done that anyway.
All right, fuck it.
Now let's get ready to party till we puke.
- Sacrilegious Desecration, here we come!
It's going to, let me have a, tch, tch,
ow, why didn't you do that earlier?
(somber music)
(tense music)
- [Adrienne] Enough!
- Where you going with that?
- Jesus, Matthews.
You should know better than to sneak up
on somebody with a gun.
- Yeah right, noted.
But where you going with that gun?
- You know exactly where I'm going.
- I think you need to put it down.
- Or what?
You gonna shoot me?
- Maybe.
Maybe.
But I think you should put that gun down
and come with me right now.
- Why are you here?
Did you see him?
You fucking saw him, didn't you?
- I saw Paul and Dana Farmer,
or what's left of them.
- Alex Black.
- Jesus Christ, Adrienne,
I know you can't get Alex Black out of your head
but I did not think that you'd murder an innocent couple
and blame it on a ghost.
(guns cocking)
- Murder anybody?
Matthews, it was Alex.
- [Dwayne] Put your hands on your head.
- Fuck you.
You're making a mistake.
- Hey, watch her.
- Hot damn, this is gonna work.
- I can take over from here.
- Yeah, they're nice, but those don't look
like tickets to me, next!
- I just showed you my tits.
- And I said they were nice.
But if you want to come in,
I gotta see hers.
- Me?
My what?
- Your tits.
- Just do it.
- Okay.
(rock music)
(screaming)
- See, I told you they'd come in handy
for something someday.
- Yeah well I can't wait to tell my future kids
that I got into a rock concert
by flashing my boobs.
- Hey, chin up mate, you got in right?
- Yeah well now I really need a fucking drink.
- Let's go.
- Thank you Woodland Hill!
Are you ready for the Sacrilegious Desecration?
(cheering)
I can't fucking hear you!
Are you ready for the Sacrilegious Desecration?!
(cheering)
Thank you!
- What the fuck, man, are you fucking kidding me?
We need to be on stage right now.
It's go time, let's go right now.
Take that fucking bra off your head,
come on dude.
Are you fucking serious?
Hurry up.
- [Man] Fucking buzzkill man.
- [Manager] God dammit!
- Taco, you want one of these, come on.
- No, I don't fucking want one of those, no, no.
You know what, there's no fat chicks allowed.
Bitches, leave.
- Fuck you man, you know you want some of this.
- God dude, are you fucking serious?
Dude we need to be on fucking stage, dude.
- No, no, I'm doing something.
- Okay do one, hurry up.
Hurry up.
- No, that's not.
Okay, I'll do one, I'll do one.
Oh shit.
Yeah, that's right.
That's good shit, that's good shit
but now, we need to be on stage.
Let's go, come on.
Let's go, yes.
- [Man] Rock and roll!
- [Taco] Let's go, let's go, let's do this.
- [Man] Maximum!
- Yes sir.
- [Woman] Come on baby.
- Come on, come with me.
- Thank you!
Woo!
- Woohoo, yeah!
Thank you,
Woodland Hills!
Are you guys ready to party till you puke?
- Do you think Larry is having as much fun
as we are right now?
(knocking)
- Hello?
(eerie music)
Shit.
(knocking)
Why the hell did they have to freak me out
with all the talk about Alex Black?
Who's there?
- Nice horse head.
- Caroline, what the hell?
- Hey Larry.
I heard you guys talking the other day at school.
- And what, you followed us here?
That's kind of stalkerish.
- Well aren't you glad I found you?
Well are you gonna invite me in?
- For what?
Oh.
- Got any weed?
(rock music)
¶ You're taking me down ¶
¶ I can't stand it baby ¶
¶ I'll be shocking to you ¶
¶ Shocking to you shocking to you ¶
(crowd cheering)
¶ Shock to your system ¶
¶ Shock to your lights ¶
¶ Come on shock to the system ¶
¶ Shock me ¶
¶ Shock me all night ¶
¶ Shock shock shock shock ¶
(booming)
- Nice duds, dude.
You're kind of stealing a little spotlight,
what the fuck, man?
- Guys?
I don't think this is part of the show.
- Fuck you.
You're making a mistake.
- Jesus Christ, Adrienne.
I knew you were fucked up when I saw you this morning.
But I thought, I thought I saw something
of the girl I used to know inside.
Please, please, give me the gun.
Please hand me the gun.
(gun cocking)
- Dwayne?
I didn't kill anybody.
- Adrienne Palmer, you're under arrest.
- Alex Black is still alive.
- Anything you say can and will be used in the court of law.
- You're making a fucking mistake.
- If you can't afford an attorney
one will be appointed for you.
- You're killing people.
- [Woman On Radio] Sheriff Matthews,
come in, Sheriff Matthews.
- You are gonna kill people. - Sheriff Matthews.
- [Woman On Radio] Sheriff, we got reports of a maniac
at BAV Rock Club murdering teenagers with a pickaxe.
- It's fucking him!
It's Alex Black.
- Sarah, do you have confirmation?
- [Sarah] Yes sir.
Deputy Cunningham was in the area.
- We have to go.
- Shut up!
- Matthews!
- Sarah, what do you mean was?
- [Sarah] Communication was shut off
after he screamed "He's killing me!"
- Fuck, you stupid shithead.
Get me out of this fucking thing.
- Adrienne Palmer, you're no longer under arrest.
- You stupid motherfucker.
Give me the goddamn gun, let's kill this maggot again.
This way!
(screaming)
- I love you, man.
(screaming)
- Oh shit!
You cut off my fucking finger!
(screaming)
- No, no, no!
That was my favorite shirt!
- All right, what's the plan?
- Backup's on the way.
- We can't wait.
- Okay, you take the rear, I'll take the front.
- That's different than the Matthews I used to know.
(gun cocking)
- Heather!
Fuck.
- No!
(women screaming)
(choking and cracking)
- Holy mother of god.
Go!
Go, go, get out now!
Hey, maggot fucker!
You remember me?
(gun firing)
(bullets ricocheting)
(groaning)
- What the fuck?
You guys are ruining everything.
- Shut the fuck up, spazzoid.
We are in for a world of shit
if we don't get out of here.
- Come on you guys, hurry up.
It's getting creepy here.
(screaming)
- Crap.
How bad is it?
- Oh, not too bad.
- Okay.
- [Dwayne] Not so good either.
- Where's he at?
- [Dwayne] I don't know.
- Can you move?
- [Dwayne] I'm not a doctor.
(groaning)
- [Larry] What the hell are you talking about?
- Alex Black!
He's real and he's alive
and he just killed everybody!
- Holy shit, you guys aren't kidding.
- No we're not, now put your fucking clothes on
so we can get out of here!
Hi, Caroline.
(zapping and humming)
- Fuck.
What the fuck?
Come on guys, we gotta hide.
- Where can we hide?
- This is just like second grade.
- No, what?
- No, Caroline, just stay.
- Fuck off!
(screaming)
(crashing)
- [Jamie] Larry, go!
- Come on you pussy, come on!
- Get away from him!
(shouting over each other)
Spazzoid, run, spazzoid!
- Jamie, Jamie!
Larry, go get her!
Jamie's still in there!
Wait, Tommy!
Look at Tommy, Tommy!
- No, come on, come on!
Come on!
Let's get the fuck out of here.
- Tommy, where the fuck are the keys?
Goddammit, where are the keys?
Tommy, Tommy has them.
- Hurry, come on!
- Oh, oh.
Come on Tommy, where's the key?
- Shit, he's coming!
Hurry!
Fuck this!
Come on motherfucker!
Come on, I'm not fucking around this time!
Get the fuck over here, pussy, come on!
- Larry, wait, wait!
- Let's go, let's go now!
- Sick, fuck away, stay away!
(screaming)
Ugh!
Oh, oh.
Oh my god.
Kevin?
Oh.
(tense music)
No, no.
(gun firing)
- God damn.
(gun cocking)
Get up.
Get the fuck up!
- Happy birthday, maggot fucker!
(gun firing)
(groaning)
Maggot fucker!
(choking)
- Wait, wait, what are we gonna do?
- Jesus Christ, do you ever stop fucking whining?
We gotta get the amulet off of his neck.
I don't know fucking how
but it's bringing him back to life.
So we gotta get it, we gotta destroy it.
You go to town, get all the fucking people you can,
ones with guns, knives, crossbows, pitchforks,
I don't give a fuck, fire, bring them back here.
- What about you, what are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna try and stay alive, kid.
(gun firing)
Hey scumbag.
(shotgun booming)
Jesus Christ, why don't you fucking die already?
Come on, motherfucker.
No, no!
(screaming and choking)
Fuck you!
(tense music)
- Let's shoot this fucker!
(guns firing)
Hold your fire!
- Smash it.
Smash the amulet!
(sobbing)
- Sleep now, Adrienne.
Rest in peace.
- Come on, ma'am, let's go.
- They're all dead.
- Everything's gonna be all right now.
- All of them, they're,
they're all dead.
- We're gonna get you all fixed up, okay?
Come on.
(screaming)
(electronic music)
(ominous dramatic music)