There are no American combat forces in Laos.
We are concerned by the North Vietnamese move into Laos.
5O O00 North Vietnamese are there at the present time.
American participation in Laos is at
the request of the neutralist government,
which was set up in accordance with the 1962 accords, agreed to
by Hanoi, Peking, and the USSR.
We have been providing logistical support,
and some training to avoid Laos falling
under Communist domination.
No American manpower in Laos
is there on a combat basis.
Come on!
Gene, no!
No chance.
Get back! Stay back!
Son of a bitch.
Gene
To hell with the cargo! - Is he dead?
Well, Rob, if he's not, he's very, very calm.
Jesus, I'm sorry.
Hey, Gene,
We're not here right now.
I saw Nixon on TV.
So we're not actually here,
and this didn't happen.
Maybe not for you, and not for Nixon,
but it happened for Doug. - We sure go through pilots.
Gene! Remember!
Shhh!
Since we're not here, I don't remember what the fuck you didn't say.
These pilots are head cases! - Yeah.
And the worst part is, we need more of 'em.
Now to our "eye-in-the-sky," pilot Billy Covington.
How ya doing up there?
I think the music speaks for me:
"All I want is to be 'a free,
live my life the way I want 'a be."
How's the traffic, Billy?
Traffic's kinda depressing. Sad.
Real congested. Kinda bumsy looking,
to tell you. - We've heard there's
a whale of a jam on the 103.
Yeah. You know why? - That's why we
go to you, Bill. - I'll tell you.
'Cause most drivers turn into pagan rubbernecks, hoping
to see a fatality. Makes a gawker's block
for a coupla miles back.
Not unlike this moron
in the brown 18-wheeler from Rubio moving and hauling.
'Scuse me a sec, Stevie.
Move your truck! An ambulance is coming!
Fuck you, "eye-in-the-sky!"
Fuck me? - Yeah! Fuck you!
What'd you say? - I said fuck you!
You want a convertible? - Get down here,
fucking punk. I'll kick your ass!
You airborne piece of shit!
This is Rock 1080, where else can you get such in-depth traffic reporting?
You should be arrested! This is very dangerous!
I'll bust that whirlybird to hell and back!
License SUSPENDED
Hey, Billy.
Who are you? - Heard about your fall from grace.
An adventurer without an adventure. Wrong.
Nothing lower than a grounded pilot. Who are you?
I want to ask you why you flew so low over that accident?
The ambulance couldn't get through.
I want to be down in the action. - Thought so.
The thing that got you fired here, can get you hired in Laos.
There's a war there!
In Vietnam, not Laos. You saw the President on TV?
Heckle and Jeckle talk on TV, doesn't mean
I believe birds can really talk. - Point taken.
But there's no war in Laos.
You can take that to the bank. - Who'll be signing my checks?
Our outfit's called Air America. Strictly civilian.
American Pilots. Men like you.
Wild men flying cargo and refugees in the wild East.
FAA took my ticket, man.
Get you a new one in Taiwan. No sweat.
Who are you?
Your biggest fan.
What's it supposed to be? - Sound of the torment of war.
When the enemy hears this coming from your planes,
they'll flip. The North Vietnamese
are pouring into Laos heading to Saigon along the Ho-Chi-Minh trail,
hooking up with their Commie buddies.
We blast 'em with this stuff, they panic, they scatter. I admit,
it's a dangerous mission. - Worse than dangerous.
This is embarrassing, man!
They'll point and laugh!
This tape
was made by experts for maximum psychological effect.
You've got no idea who you're fighting here.
You know more about it than American Intelligence.
Don't use the word "intelligence" to describe your job.
Rob Diehl? Hi.
I'm Billy Covington.
Welcome. - Thanks.
You have some paperwork? - Nice bat.
Billy is one of you guys.
Thanks. So talk to 'em.
Hi, guys. - What brings you here, Covington?
I hear there's some good flying.
Good flying?
Yeah?
Depends where you're coming from.
Where are you coming from?
From L.A. the west coast of the US. Where are you coming from?
From the dark side of the moon.
And I'm going back there soon.
The golden BB is coming. - My bat.
Nomenclature: BB, gold.
Ordinance: Personnel, Neely.
And the four rounds you can't
Pilot hi-jinks. It's their way of coping.
Pilot hi-jinks? This is psychotic behavior.
Psychotic behavior is company policy at Air America. I'm Gene Ryack.
Take Billy on his orientation flight. - OK with me. Is it OK with you?
Let's get in the wind. - Give him the bat.
This is Long Tieng, right? - Right.
There's nothing here on the map.
Well I guess it's like Rob says. We're not here.
Which means you're not seeing the second biggest city in Laos,
built from scratch by the U.S. government.
And we really don't run 400 flights or ship 100 tons of cargo,
medicine, weapons, or local troops, like those.
"Anywhere, anything, any time." That's our motto.
We fly C-123, Helio-Couriers, fairly normal machines.
But the real fun is playing with these freaky planes.
These aren't legal in the US. - This ain't the States.
Damn right.
Watcha got today? - Peanutbutter and mayo. What you got?
Flight schedule. - About time
You seem to be doing OK.
I do all right in the air, I tend to fuck up on the ground.
Mind if I look in your logbook?
14 months of bush flying in Canada.
Bush flying? Yeah, bush flying.
2 months crop-dusting outside of Fresno.
Fresno. Your a real fucking hero.
You flew "eye-in-the-sky"? - Excuse me, is that an Uzi?
That'd make a great ad:
"Excuse me, is that an Uzi?" "Why yes,
self-defense is no joke. That's why I pack an Uzi.
Accept no substitutes."
Show him your amulet, Gene!
What's in there?
The ashes of my big toe. Shot off through the floor of the cockpit.
Not far from here.
You get shot here? - It was ugly.
He had it cremated.
Always has it with him. - Wait a sec.
No one told me about losing toes. He never mentioned toe-loss.
Who - The recruiter.
Why didn't you get it sewn back on?
When a piece of me gets shot off, I don't want it back.
It's still with us in spirit.
You understand?
In spirit, toe-ism.
Royal Asian Airlines Flight No. 744. Arriving at gate 12.
Glad you could make it, sir.
A US senator? In my back yard? On a fact-finding mission?
He's not gonna find any facts. I promise.
Certainly not about our little deal. Besides, he's a dimwit.
He had a tractor dealership before he got elected.
Harry Truman sold cheap suits, he wound up dropping an atomic bomb.
Welcome to Vientiane, sir. - Thank you, Ambassador Marloff.
Senator, this is major Lemond. I'm sure you've heard of him.
Of course. Where's the uniform, Major? Too hot for all those ribbons?
You going civvie on us? - I'm a civilian now.
With the Air Force at heart.
Thank you. Put bag in big car. - Senator
I know.
Sorry, have no local dinero.
Give tip later OK? - Senator!
This is General Lu Soong, Supreme Commander of the Allies.
Hello?
ATWbOdy home?
Get a load of Senator Tact here.
When you go to France, you have General DeGaulle carry luggage?
Rob, the bag.
I'll take that, sir. Your jacket? - Thank you.
Lighten up on the stick. We're gonna land.
Land? Where?
I'll show you. - Oh, come on.
That's not a strip, it's a mountain. - Full flap, 3 cranks.
Please don't do this.
That was great. How was it for you?
There're people in the jungle!
Don't, I know them.
Who are they?
Friends of my wife. Little one's my brother-in-law,
with a business proposition. - Don't do that.
Six crates of weapons. I'll make you a good offer.
The Russians air-dropped them for the Pathet-Lao.
We stole 'em. Brand new.
I'll give you 400 kips.
400? You want a slingshot? 800 kips!
600, and it's a deal.
Brother-in-laws are the same all over.
He's ripping me off
Deal!
You use my orientation flight for some private scam?
Welcome to the orient.
This is my retirement plan!
I've been flying fifteen years and want my chunk of the American dream.
Running guns?
OK, this is the hard part.
I noticed, no radar.
Right, just dead reckoning.
I can handle it.
Good.
Gene, sit down. Check this out!
Pretty good, huh?
OK, we almost hit that at 3,700 feet. Any higher peaks than that?
At 3,700 feet! Any higher peaks around here?
Yeah.
I need green. - Don't use mine.
We gotta get on a new safety height, OK?
Hey, I was going for that one! You did that on purpose.
Last time you colored the sky pink. - Are we south or east of
the Atlantic here?
South or east?
- East! Don't bother me!
Stay on your side! - It's my coloring book.
If you want to color, you have to be nice to me.
Hey, Senator, let us show you the real Laos!
Sir, he's getting out.
Senator, wait!
Those pilots are drunk. - Not just drunk,
they're drunk Americans. Hey, fellas!
Pitchin' a little woo, are ya?
Don't be embarrassed. I may look like an old fart,
but before I found the lord, I partook of wine, women, and song, too.
But seriously, even though you won't get any medals, or be in history books
some of us in Washington know exactly
what you're doing for the war effort.
Could you explain it to us?
It's just as heavy as Vietnam. - No!
Never compare the two.
Vietnam is for niggers and no-necks.
Sorry, it's the Mai-Tai talking.
This is a gentleman's war, a thinking man's war.
Hello.
Corinne Landreaux, this is Billy Covington.
She helps our Asian brothers in the hills. - Thanks.
Hey, I kid, because I care.
You know what the whole problem with the Vietnam war is?
It's too public. A secret war is the way to go.
No reporters, no TV, You blackout the war
like a football game. And y'know what?
We can't lose.
Can I ask you one thing?
Is it a kinky turn-on for you to bring her to a whorehouse with you?
This is not just a whorehouse. Men talk business here.
I was just getting used to this being a war.
Who told you they were two different things?
Rob, I need you outside.
And clear-headed!
Worried, Rob?
I wonder what the Pepsi people would think if they knew.
Don't you ever wonder? - No.
I wonder how many pilots already know about his place.
Heroin good, very good. You want to try?
With all due respect, I'm not here for a taste test.
I'm here to ask you again
to shut this lab down, just while the Senator is here.
Why you not tell baggage-man Senator to go home? Kick out!
I wish it were that simple.
In a civlized country like yours it would be.
But in this case, it's easier to shut down this lab.
Then you and me be poor and cannot pay for war.
If we don't sell heroin, no money to feed my soldiers.
No, Major. Better we stay good friends.
You take care of silly suitcase-man OK?
Of course, General.
As always, you are right.
Something wrong?
I was always the weirdest guy in the room. Here I'm not in the running.
You can be as weird as anyone here.
It just takes a little time.
I feel like I'm on a roller-coaster of bar girls,
strange squiggly signs, weird vehicles and
more bar-girls, and Mai-Tais and
what am I doing here? - I ask myself that all the time.
Why am I here? - Why am I here?
A taste of the States, feel better?
Yeah, everything's back to normal now. - Good.
Nice silencer.
I am a very considerate person.
If I want to shoot lizards at night on my miniature golf course,
no reason to keep the neighbors awake.
You follow me? - Yeah, at a distance.
You're all right fuckin' punk.
Jack's the only man you ever met with his own miniature golf course.
Why don't you open this place up, and charge admission?
You guys can do that when I'm gone.
You guys get it in my will. - Oh, shit. Please!
Jack's got a point:
The old-timers don't get a pension.
Each pilot has to work out his own retirement scam.
Gino, how's your guns and ammo shop? Building up invertory?
You ever gonna sell? - Never make a move too soon.
I got a foolproof plan. I'll take my money
and fly a Coppertone banner over Coney Island,
and tell war stories in bars.
"The golden BB's coming up to Neely now..."
Why you do that?
Why the fuck?
Hey, professionalism.
How often do you guys go on a bender like this?
Bender? This is just nighttime.
O.V.!
Wake Billy! I gotta bring him to work.
Wake up, junior! Wake up!
It's OK. He likes to fly.
Good morning!
Crazy Americans!
Gene. - Morning, Rob. - Morning.
Pick up Senator Davenport at the Vientiane airport
and take him up to the refugee camp at Bien Luc.
Lips zipped about this airbase.
If he's dying for local action, just dazzle him with bullshit.
We got nothing else to dazzle him with.
See ya!
Gene! Don't fuck around with the Senator.
What do you mean? - He's on a need-to-know basis.
The mushroom treatment: keep him in the dark and feed him on shit.
What's he doing to your plane?
He's purifying it. It's a Buddhist ritual.
Gene, is there a secret air base around here?
Which air base, sir?
I feel I'm being kept out of the loop.
What do I know. I'm just a luggage-boy.
General, stop pouting. I apologized.
I should be carrying your luggage.
That's how much the US government values your support.
I hear that the USA finish war and leave Southeast Asia.
Without suitcase. - General,
if things get too hairy for us politically, we have to bug out,
and bring you with us.
We take care of our buddies. - You take care of shit!
We've made general Ky in Vietnam a very generous offer.
I know Marshal Ky. He's small time.
After war he want to be in America liquor store owner.
I not going from being warlord to liquor store owner!
Tell the Senator what you really want, General.
Come on, don't be shy.
Holiday Inn. Southern California.
Owner and operator.
That could be difficult.
You find all this funny?
Very. But, hell, Senator,
If you can't laugh at war, what's the use of fighting?
You've got a good point!
What's that tin-horn general doing in my camp?
Corinne, this is Senator Davenport. - Welcome, Senator.
Corinne Landreaux from US Aid. May I show you around?
Your boss picked a hell of a place, in the heart of opium country.
My first choice was Kansas, but nothing was free.
There's only mountains and poppies here.
You stay two, three weeks here? - At best, then we leave.
This is noble work you do.
Thank you, Senator. - I'll see you at the plane. Bye.
Look at him operate!
He's shanghaiing men and boys for his private army.
That's an ugly word. - What would you call it?
I'd say he's showing charisma. - Charisma?
These people have different values than we do.
But the nice part is we're all pulling together for the same cause.
The same cause?
Soong's only cause is General Soong. Don't you get it?
The CIA flies drugs for him, so he loans us his troops.
You know what? You've been working your butt off
under the hot sun and God bless you for it.
But you're starting to rave.
I think you need a vacation.
Have a nice day.
Thanks for coming.
You do me great honor, for come to Nino's, Excellency.
Thank you, Nino.
I'm concerned, gentlemen.
We're not children in Congress. General Song
Soong. - is up to something with opium.
Now, nobody's perfect, not even our allies.
But seriously, when we hear rumors of Americans taking drug money,
it endangers the entire war. Now I want to know the truth.
I'm afraid we've been keeping the truth from you.
We suspect that our planes are being used to fly Opium
from the highlands to Vientiane,
where it is processed into heroin. - Dear God.
Why wasn't I told before?
We've made a grave mistake.
We were trying to protect the good name of our pilots, sir.
You mean our pilots
are smuggling narcotics?
Not all of 'em, sir. Just a few bad apples.
They know we can't inspect every piece of cargo.
So they take advantage of our trust.
Do you know who they are? - We'll find out.
I pledge to you, we'll find those rotten apples.
Hey, General. What's the cargo?
None of your business.
Your cargo's loaded.
Here's your co-pilot.
Enjoy the animals, fellas.
What?
I got a bad feeling this morning.
Don't worry, we won't run into any golden BB'S, OK?
I'll be your good luck charm. No bullets.
Rice drop's first, then the 3 little pigs.
There's no sign on the last one.
General Soong supervised the loading.
So, what would that be?
Come up to a 12 o'clock.
First drop zone coming up!
Stand by!
Coming up on it.
Looking good.
Air speed's good.
Altitude's good.
Three.
Two.
One.
Now!
Kwan went out the back! - What?
Has she got a chute?
No. - What? We gotta go back!
No. You never go back. - What do you mean?
You just lost your kicker! - You never go back.
Jesus Christ, you meet someone and they die.
They should always wear chutes.
He)', Come on!
That's not funny! OK?
That's not funny!
Billy, how's it going?
Great.
Listen. Nino's got lobster tonight,
but you gotta order in advance. You up for some of that?
Lobster again? if I'm still alive I'd like some.
Good, I'll radio in
a reservation. 9 o'clock OK for you guys?
Great - Rodger that.
Hell of a war, man.
3-4-0. 12 o'clock coming up.
Stand by.
Cumin' up on it.
Three. Two.
One.
Now!
Shit!
Quit it!
Oh man.
Who's shooting at us? - Here? Everybody.
I'm not gonna die dropping pigs from the sky.
The golden BB. I knew it.
Just a question of when. I knew you were coming.
I saw it in the mirror this morning,
when I cut myself shaving. I saw it, bright as the sun.
Jack, we're hit in number 2! Extinguisher!
There goes an engine. Of course.
Hey! Wake up, man!
Check the oil pressure.
Check the oil pressure! - Dropping.
Check number 1!
Number 1 OK.
Is 9:30 okay? Nino says he can't get us a table earlier.
Gene, we're hit, throwing fuel! We're going down!
You still in gun range? - Yes.
Change altitude and heading every few seconds. Gimme a location.
Jack! Got a minute? Location! Stop snoozing!
2 miles south of Tango 7.
There's a strip just the other side of Tango 7. Can you make it?
Doubt it!
Come on, man. You can make it.
Jeez, I'll make it. - 1O degrees right.
Welcome back!
Did I leave?
Wild Dog to base. Pilots in jeopardy near Tango 7.
Am heading over there.
Maintain course, Wild Dog. We'll send a recon plane.
Wild Dog, you COPY?
Wild Dog to base. Fuck off.
Where we at?
You see it? - No.
1 o'clock.
I got it. Landing gear down!
Coming down.
It's not going down! - Don't worry. Go to manual.
What have we got? - Nothing so far.
We're gonna jump. Kwanh! Put your 'chute on!
You too, Neely. Put your 'chute on, man!
I'm riding it in with you. - No! I want you off!
When I level out, jump! OK? - I'm taking it in with you! - No!
The only thing God drops from the sky is bird shit!
Bird shit and you!
That's new. Birdshit and catatonic pilots.
Jump!
OK, you're next!
You're most vulnerable floating down in a 'chute.
I'll get a golden BB up my ass!
If it doesn't open, I can use my reserve
Get up, man! Please!
See you down there. Good luck!
I have never had to jump out of an airplane before!
I'm a fucking den-mother!
OK, can you run, man? Let's go!
What are you doing back here?
I forgot my Nikon! - Here it is.
You want it? Then jump! - Yes!
You put on your parachute!
I'm afraid of heights.
Jump!
5Y9, now!
Billy, come in.
You satisfied or disappointed that we're alive?
The jungle is full of Commies, bandits, and headhunters.
We're not alive yet.
Want a piece of Juicy Fruit? - No, I do not.
We going home!
Soon, Kwanh. - No. We go now. Look!
Look, we going home.
Good afternoon!
Hiya, General.
Guess you missed us back there.
Sure is nice to see some "friendlies" down here.
It's got a couple dings on it.
Sure hope they don't take it out of my paycheck.
Nothin' a coupla days in the shop won't fix
Lemme give you a hand.
Guess you're in a hurry, huh?
God, these are heavy!
Gonna be a tight squeeze, huh?
He)', man!
What about us?
You're leaving us here?
Goddammit! Fuck!
We not go home now.
Opium go home now.
There was opium on that? - Opium, you got it.
And he took it instead of us?
You helped him load it, pal.
You go north of the strip, I'll look here. We'll find 'em.
If we hurry we can still make that 9:30 table at Nino's.
Sounds good, Gene. See ya!
Where is everybody?
Quit it, OK?
Trouble for our boys off your right wing, jungle's
crawlin' with black pyjamas.
Billy, move!
I quit!
Any extra holes?
No. - Wild Dog to base enemy at Tango 7.
Everyone's unfriendly here. - Even the "friendlies!"
Why are they so unfriendly? - They haven't gotten to know us yet.
Why are they shooting?
'Cause they're unfriendly.
You're losing oil pressure.. - I already lost tail rotor response.
Put on your belt!
I don't want to crash twice today! - But my crashes are the best!
You're at 40!
You're redlining!
Autorotate! - Wild Dog to base.
We're going in 3/4 of a mile southwest of Tango 7.
Great rescue, huh? - I thought you had this blessed.
I thought the monk wasn't really concentrating.
We gotta drop, you know.
No, man. - We gotta, we're sniper bait.
Who goes first? - There's no fast rule
about crashing through the cockpit. You go first.
I don't want to go first! - I'll go. - I don't want to go 2nd!
We'll toss a coin.
Call!
Tails.
Is that heads? Is that tails? - Tails.
Heads. - That's tails. - I'll check.
Come on!
It's pretty soft.
I hate going second.
Well that fall seemed to go pretty well.
We should get moving.
Can you walk? - Walk?
We're in the goddamned jungle!
Give me voice. Gene. Billy.
Come in, Gene, Billy.
Do you read me?
Gene and Billy, where are you?
Billy and Gene, do you read me?
I stole some stuff as a kid.
Whiffle balls, model airplanes.
I used a fake ID to drink, smoked some reefers.
I performed oral sex, where it's against the law.
But until I worked for my own government, I never smuggled drugs.
We're not smugglers, just pack mules.
No one wins war here without control of the opium trade.
We help Soong get his crop to market. He helps us fight the war.
Don't give me that cooled-out-Buddhist shit!
Our government is running a war with drug money,
and our Gl's are getting strung out in Vietnam!
You might as well throw rattlesnakes in the schoolyard!
This doesn't bother your soul? - Leave my soul out of this.
We don't work officially for the US government.
Everybody knows. What happens if you say CIA?
Let's change course. Maybe we'll be outta here by morning.
How many more miles?
When the sales rep from Bell Helicopters gets here,
go easy on him, not like that asshole from Dow Chemicals.
Nice and easy. Bring him here,
vintage wine, blah-blah-blah, elegant dining,
get him blown at the White Rose,
brandy, espresso. Then just hit him up for the two free choppers.
I'm a little nervous about it. - Buona sera, signore.
I have heard about the pilots shooted down.
I hope they safe. I pray for them.
Thank you. Every prayer helps.
I have to have coffee with Davenport. What should I do?
I'll take him to the White Rose. I'll get him blown.
No. - No. What?
Davenport runs the Senate prayer group.
With him, you don't bring up the subject of blow-jobs.
You let him bring it up.
Jesus!
Again?
Restaurant closed! Health violation.
All go home now!
Everybody go now!!
I do business with round-eyes all my life!
But I don't let a Corsican fuck me!
You crazy?
I pick up opium myself! In bad danger!
Your men don't want to pay same-same last time!
No more break this china! Understand?
Now I tell you something.
I talk to Marseilles. I talk to New York.
They say Opium not so good this year.
Been cut with baking powder. So who fucking who?
No, I no gonna pay you same-same. You give me shit!
Nino. You listen to me. You pay same-same,
or you never use my planes again.
OK, pay same-same.
So this is the face of modern Communism?
Wrong. A devout Communist carries an AK-47,
they have the oldest weapons known to man.
These are hillbillies.
And they're pissed. They don't cotton to outsiders.
What're they saying?
I'm surprised they haven't killed us yet.
Surprised? How come you're so relaxed?
Don't you get it? When you die, that's it! Blackness.
They stick you in a box in the ground.
Don't even let you out on weekends. Depressing.
Right. Nothing.
Buddha says - Stop it!
A real Buddhist wouldn't be running guns.
You're a hustler. Call it Religion, but you're a hustler.
I never said I was a good Buddhist.
They're gonna do it.
You don't need to speed things up!
Those guns are all wrong for the rainy conditions.
You need all-weather weapons.
Your guns were made in France for the desert warfare.
I hope you didn't pay more than two pigs for it.
A cow.
Yeah, I know.
A cow? For a stupid musket?
You got taken!
D'ya hear? A cow for this gun!
Isn't that hysterical?
Ever shot it in the rain?
I reckon.
For all-weather guns
at great prices.
We should go to my brother-in-Iaw.
He lives
two days walk from here. What do you think?
Gentlemen, these guns are cherry.
Deal.
Hello? Mei-ling?
I missed you! Oh, I couldn't tell.
This is my wife.
Come in to civilization and get cleaned up!
You don't look like a guy who'd live in a place like this.
Looks'll fool you every time.
What the fuck are you doing here?
Do you believe in this war?
I used to believe in all these wars.
I had a theory once.
The politics of Saturday night.
I rated all countries on how good their Saturday nights were.
I knew that Moscow and Peking were a stone drag on Saturday.
So I was flying for a cause.
To defend barbecues and weenie-roasts,
and Ray Charle songs and Southern Comfort 'till you pass out.
The politics of Saturday night. I can relate.
Not bad is it? But not particularly true.
I hear they party hard in Moscow.
Don't give up a good theory just because it's not true.
So why don't you go home?
Look at me, Neely, the rest. We're trouble junkies.
Nothing but adrenaline gets us off. It's kinda sick.
Quit before you pick up the habit. And you will!
Go back to LA and be the weirdest guy in the room again.
I gotta take care of something first.
You wanna get even?
With who? Rob? Soong?
Forget it! This is the orient.
What Soong did to you was nothing!
I've seen things here that I never could have imagined.
And I have a broad imagination.
Why don't you just go home.
This is one of the most famous temples in Laos.
I've been here four days.
I've seen 19 Buddhas, 3 tailors, a silk factory,
and you haven't told me one new thing about the dope trade.
I'm leaving soon and I'm not going back empty handed.
I need heads on a platter,
or the rumors will get you on the hill. - What rumors?
You heard the man, Rob.
Heads on a platter.
Is that Paul Bunyan's condom?
That's the point of the drop.
Penis size is very important to Asian people.
If we can convince them that American men use this jumbo size,
their men will start to fear us.
Dismissed. One more thing, guys.
Jack Neely's body was recovered last night.
He was shot down by the Pathet Lao
while looking for Covington and Ryack.
I understand how you must feel,
but in the interest of security you must be quiet about it.
Before you keep us quiet again, could we have a moment of silence?
"Visit colorful native village" reads my schedule, Gene.
But we've been here 6 hours. I think we can say I've seen it.
They're nearly finished.
What is that, Gene? A boat?
Sort of.
You a strange man, Gene.
Thank you for noticing, General.
You love old ways. Asian ways.
General Soong love
tomorrow ways. Modern world.
Our friend here's a little tipsy.
He's high on America. I've seen it before.
It's stronger than whisky. Bigger than opium.
He's stoned on dreams of the USA.
Gene, you just mentioned opium.
Now, tell me, let the chips fall where they may.
Was Jack Neely flying dope when he went down?
Let's take this to the plane.
You're taking that kayak with you?
This is Jack Neely's coffin.
I promised him they wouldn't send him home in a body bag.
And, no, he wasn't flying dope.
General! Wake up!
I'm here to drink to Jack Neely. Join me?
To Jack!
He wanted it like that. He'd have been real angry to die in bed.
I'm leaving. I sent Mei-Ling and the kids ahead. - What the fuck?
I've got a buyer for all my guns. I'm gonna pick 'em all up,
and sell 'em in one hit. - You gonna be a farmer in Thailand?
What about the rest of us?
Should we go home and sell aluminum siding?
They're gonna shut this war down soon.
There'll be a new one opening in a theatre near you.
Promise? - I promise.
I was with the Senator all day.
The spooks are lookin' for fall guys. So watch out.
Where you been?
Just around.
I did some shopping on the black market. Bought grenades.
Now I'm gonna have some fun.
Big fun.
Noisy fun.
Doesn't sound like well-planned fun.
Like I said, I tend to fuck up on the ground.
I wouldn't do this if I was you.
I know.
But then you wouldn't do anything.
See you later.
Can I have a soda?
Sure, here you go.
I know who do this! That new kid!
The guards saw him running away. - Word on the street is
it's Communist sabotage.
I don't give a rat's ass who did it.
The whole operation is gonna blow up in our faces, with the Senator here.
We've got to do some immediate damage control.
With your indulgence: Could I have two kilos?
These two kilos are for the cause.
Yes, sir.
That's right, C-123, personal use.
Pretty big for personal use.
You found a buyer for your guns? - Nail on the head.
How you doing? - Very well.
What you taking today? - Flour sacks to Bien Thuong.
That's near Tango 7. Planning on crashing any planes?
Not today. - You already cost this company enough.
What do you mean?
Feel better? - Much better.
The cloud of opium smoke in town got everybody high.
You actually shut the plant down for three whole hours.
Didn't start it 'till this morning.
That's the way it is.
All set? - All set.
Bien Thuong, huh?
You! Move truck out! Quick!
Keep movin', Audrey!
You get truck out!
Hey! Calm down!
You get your opium fields. We need a few hours to move!
Base to Stagger Lee. come in!
Base to Stagger Lee. Over.
Slight change in you flight plan. Head to LS 18
for a routine inspection. - Inspection?
Affirmative. We just read 'em.
Check. Heading for LS 18.
I'm going to LS 18 for a routine inspection.
Routine inspection? Never heard of it.
Then it ain't routine.
Babo, check on the cargo. - What's up?
I don't know. Check it, will you?
I hope to God, our information's wrong.
It'd break my heart if Heroin was on that plane.
The pilot does come from California. - I see.
Caught up in the youth culture bit?
Too much Rock 'n Roll.
Still, he's only one young man. Why do we need all these men.
Pilots are tough men, Senator.
This one might resist, with force.
Our information say's he's a cool and ruthless customer.
Nothing!
Listen, we're being set up. Keep looking!
Are you serious? - Yeah, cut 'em open!
What you got? - Nothing.
Hurry UP!
Bingo!
I knew it!
Jesus! Look at those bastards waiting for us!
They want us busted. - Dead and busted.
Somebody messed with the fuel gauge! We're running out!
I'm heading for Tango 7.
Wait, Billy! They can follow us there!
We'll figure it out. - Don't say we, man!
I'm 42 and I never figured out anything in my fuckin' life.
He's not landing, Rob. - He's only got enough fuel to
Start 'em up! Let's go after 'em!
We're VSF, man!
VSF? - Very severely fucked!
Good flying, Covington. Ever do any valet-parking?
Looks like we're gonna make it.
What are we gonna do on the ground? - I'm workin' on it!
Come on!
You're too fast! Hold on! - What?
Pull up! Pull up!
What are you doing? - Shut up!
Are you fucking nuts? - Head down, now.
Down!
I never would have thought of it. - It just came to me.
I'm gonna buy you some beers!
Lousy week, man.
Gene, come in, Gene!
Bullshit.
'Sousa me.
It's Babo here. Gene come in!
This is Gene. What's up?
He did it again? Can't he keep the thing in the air?
I'll think about it.
Nope, no more money. Speak English.
Where'd he go, Rob? - I don't know!
Well, Senator, looks like we've lost him.
Maybe my trip hasn't been a complete loss.
Maybe I found those rotten apples after all.
I beg your pardon, sir? - I may wear shorts in the jungle.
And say, "gosh" and "doo-doo," but I know a frame-up when I see one.
Unless my eyes deceive me - They probably do...
You are a highly-decorated soldier
Senator, kiss my highly-decorated ass!
I tried to make it easy for you, but there's no way to please you.
I'll tell you what. You go back to Washington,
go straight to the White House
and pour your heart out about what you think you saw here.
Then sit back and watch your political career die.
You can't touch me without cutting your own throat.
You know why? Because the President loves my ass!
You really are second-level, Rob.
We go home now!
Glad you could make it!
Where's your bus? - Long story.
Well, it's my last stop, boys. One more pick-up, then I off-load.
It's gravy from there on in.
I had a map someplace with the stops marked in crayon.
Here it is.
Navigate me to sky-blue, please.
Look at all the "friendlies."
Soong's troops. Been listening all morning.
He's worried someone'll get to the poppy fields before him.
That's by the refugee camp, too. - That's where the poppies are.
They're no more trucks, no more choppers.
You go ahead, I'll send a call. - Corinne!
Mayday! This is Scout Camp 1. Enemy troops are moving in
on General Soong and we're caught in the cross-fire.
Request immediate assistance!
Mayday! This is Scout Camp 1
requesting assistance.
Mayday, we're under heavy mortar fire!
This is Pirelli. We're about 15 minutes away. Anyone closer?
We'll head in if nobody is closer. Call us, please!
Mayday, mayday! To all aircraft! We're under heave mortar fire
at Scout Camp 1. Do you read?
Saunders and Pirelli are almost as close as we are.
Yeah, we're only about 5 minutes closer.
At the most.
Shut up!
I've planned this day for a longtime! - I didn't say anything!
I don't have time to pick up lost social workers!
She chose to be there herself.
I already pick you guys up. - I appreciate it.
Thank you. She knew what she was doing.
God dammit!
5 minutes won't kill us.
She's skinny, she'll sit on a machine gun.
Give me the heading.
1-6-0. Are you sure?
Shut up!
Keep your hands off the wheel. We know what happens when you fly.
We haven't heard. Is anybody coming? Call us.
I was changing in a phone booth. We'll get her.
This was a good idea of yours!
I knew you guys would make it! I think we can get everybody on board.
No, we just came back for you. He's fully loaded.
Dump the fucking cargo!
That's a problem. - I'm not leaving without them.
Let's get this kid and get outta here!
Come on!
LETS go!
Get on the plane.
Not without these people!
We came here to get you. Get on the fucking plane!
Dump your cargo.
One minute.
I got a crazy idea: Cargo out, people in.
Great! - Please!
You better hurry. - You gotta do it.
Otherwise you're just a 2nd Lemond, with a hipper rap.
Knock it off, will ya?
Goddamn!
Hey, Mother Theresa!
I was gonna do it anyway. but I hate being lectured!
"Slighly hipper rap?"
Let's go! Quickly!
Get up front and give it some stick! Those shells are close.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard Air America Flight 1.
You can unfasten your seatbelts as soon as we're out of gun-range.
I'd like to apologize for that ground delay.
We experienced material-turbulence.
On entertainment channel 3 you can hear music from
that group "Gene Ryack and the Redemption!"
The Captain now has to explain to his family what he did with their savings.
Our flight path
takes us over Anaheim, Azusa and the Mekong Delta
to...
Where we going?
You're gonna help me make my money back that you lost.
I made you lose it? I merely suggested.
Do not blame me for the single decent act of your adult life.
Besides, where do I get the money?
Here at crazy Gene's we've slashed the prices on used C-123's.
For your private army - Forget it!
No more problems with those pesky border-troops!
This plane is US Goverment property.
The US Government doesn't exist in Laos. Neither does this plane.
Right.
We'll do what we do best.
We fly!