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- This don't sit right with me.
This could get ugly real quick.
- Don't you dare be getting cold feet on me now.
And don't you dare be feeling sorry for that asshole.
If anyone deserves it, it's him.
- I don't hate Big Ronnie because he's an asshole.
Hell, it's probably the one thing I respect about the man.
Most of my best friends are assholes.
I think they oughta give out
an award for the biggest asshole.
Like a placard and they put it on the wall,
then everyone can see what they're dealing with.
Hell, I could be an asshole myself from time to time.
It's assholes that get ahead in the world, sweetheart.
Your husband didn't make all that dough
by being Mother Theresa.
No, assholes, I don't have a problem with.
But I can't stand a creep.
- That fits Ronnie's description well
by the way he treats me.
- You deserve better.
I'm not sure why you decided to go with a bum like me.
- Because I do what I want.
- Yeah.
- Tonight, we're gonna do as we planned.
- Ah, but stealing?
- Stealing from the crooked ain't stealing proper.
Are you scared of him?
Scared he's gonna call the circus mafia after you?
- I can handle myself.
I'm scared for you.
I ain't afraid to admit it.
I can get a new shirt and a different haircut
and nobody will recognize me tomorrow.
I'm nobody.
I can disappear.
But you, you ain't hiding from nothing,
and I ain't leaving you for prison or worse.
- Then stay with me.
Together we can open that son of a bitch safe
and we're gonna take every penny he has.
Then we can finally be free.
We could finally be a family.
But I don't wanna have a baby in prison.
- Savanna, I'd go through hell and back for you.
- Would you now?
- You know you've had a really fucked up day
when you wake up to figure out your whole life
is copied from a cheap dime store pulp novel.
You're used goods, toots.
It's how used I didn't know till now.
And you, no talent dead beat.
Not a grateful bone in your lousy body.
Not one.
I took you in, I gave you a home, I treated you like family,
and this is what you give me?
Sit your ass down.
I said sit you dumb bastard.
- Ronnie, you brought this on yourself.
You treat our marriage like you treat this fleabag circus.
You don't give a shit about me.
I'm just your arm candy, baby.
And I'm tired of being a candy cane
hanging off of your wrist.
- Maybe you're right.
Maybe it is my fault.
After all, you were a lousy two bit skank when I met you.
Waitin' tables at that dive on Route 66.
You had that skinny boyfriend with the worm dick.
You were all over me, lady.
Like taffy on an August afternoon.
I shoulda known.
I shoulda known you'd jump on whatever comes along
that strikes you as a better deal, a bigger haul.
- Fuck you, Ronnie.
I have been nothing but faithful to you in this marriage.
Until-- - Until you got
good and bored, until something better came along
and caught your attention.
- I was gonna say until you turned into some nasty ogre.
Always hateful, stomping around with a clinched fist,
have nothing good to say to me or anybody else.
You're a light bulb that has gone out.
You are milk that has turned sour.
Baby, I'm tired of the taste.
Cash loves me.
He treats me like a decent human being.
- So, you're in love.
Ready to run away into the night.
But love don't pay the bills, does it, honey?
So let me guess.
You two lovebirds planed on stealing from me,
making a quick cash grab and running out for the highway.
- Hell, Ronnie, that money ain't even really yours.
You and halfwit over here said that you took
from that Spanish lone shark named Miguel.
So I figured I could use a little money for after dealing
with your nasty bullshit for so long.
Consider it alimony, motherfucker.
- There's some alimony for ya, bitch.
How do you look now, lover boy?
- No, stop, no!
- Savanna, what are you doing?
Don't point that thing at Cash.
You might hurt him.
- Ronnie, Ronnie, let go. - I guess she's tired
of you too, Cash my boy.
Oh, yeah.
Now. - You dirty, evil, nasty
son of a bitch!
- Oh, I love it when you say such sweet things to me.
- Kill me too, you fucking pig.
- Oh, Savanna, no, no, no.
I'm not gonna kill you.
No, you're gonna carry this with you everyday,
and you're gonna see this over and over again.
- I'll go to the cops.
- Yeah, call the cops.
I mean, after all, it's your gun, doll face.
Your fingerprints.
The way this all looks to me though,
is these no life fuckers tried to break
into my office and steal our money.
And baby, you saved the day.
You caught him red handed.
- Right. - Or, or, I could put
a round of lead in that pretty little face of yours,
like I did your boyfriend.
Or we could call the cops,
tell 'em you got your period and went batshit crazy.
Starting shooting everything up
like some damn Clint Eastwood movie.
Let you cool your hard ass in prison a while,
with the dykes.
Your call, baby.
- Okay, okay.
We caught them stealing.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
And true love saves the day.
Now get your ass ready.
The show's starting' and we have a new act debuting tonight.
- New act?
- And now for something really different.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you are faint at heart
or you are squeamish, now is the time to turn away,
because The Midnight Madness Circus of a Thousand Wonders
has truly turned into the circus of the Macabre.
Witness our fearless femme fatal in a fatal fix.
Any last words, dear?
- Hey, doll face, are you ready to give them
the show of your lifetime?
It's going to stab the audience.
- Look, look at her.
- Are you ready for the show?
Let's get to the point.
Let's dart into action.
Lousy two bit skank.
Oh, yeah, this should drive it home.
Come get it little darling.
- This is a great time.
- I'm gonna poke a lot of holes in you,
until it all runs out and I get the satisfaction I want,
and these people get the show that they want.
They've paid good money.
And away we go.
- And there you have it, ladies and gents.
Another crazy night under the twisted big top.
Tell your friends we're here all weekend,
and don't forget to leave the kiddos at home.
Come back to The Midnight Madness
Circus of a Thousand Wonders,
where anything can happen.
And thank you all, good night.
- Now that was a show.
And just think, only three more towns until our tour ends.
And this was just so much fun.
Hm?
Hm, what's that?
You really should stop mumbling.
- Oh!
Ronnie, baby, listen.
Lesson learned, can't we just kiss and make up
like we used to after a fight?
- No, Savanna, you broke my heart.
Oh, I know what you're thinking.
You didn't even know I had a heart.
But I do.
And you broke it into tiny little pieces.
No, no, no, I think this is gonna take some time
to get over.
And I think it's best if you find somewhere else
to camp out for a few nights.
Wash that nasty stink off of your ass.
Give me some time to heal so
I don't murder you in your sleep.
- Autumn.
- It's just me, child.
- Thank god it's you.
I thought that evil bastard came back.
- Not one of your better nights there sweetie.
You'd think your friend Cash would
have something to say about all of this.
- Cash is dead, Autumn.
That son of a bitch killed him right
in front of me in cold blood.
- It just kills me what they did to you.
- That pile of dicks isn't gonna get away with this.
I don't care what it takes.
I'm tired of feeling sorry, like it was all a mistake.
He said he would kill me if I didn't agree
to this ridiculous story, and now he plans on doing this
until the end of the tour.
I gotta do something, Autumn, and it may end up killing me.
But that nasty motherfucker deserves to take a deep,
dark nap if it's the last thing I do.
- You have no appreciation for anything.
I spent my hard earned money, take you and your momma
to the circus and this is the thanks I get?
What the fuck are you doing?
Get your ass in that car.
- Steve, let's all calm down and go home.
Everyone else is gone.
- We'll calm down and go home when this little
brat here gives me an apology.
You hear me, Rachel?
- Keep your drunk hands off me, you asshole.
- I'll drive.
Let's all go home and just sort this out.
- I'm perfectly fine, but this sick ass little brat here
is fucking ruining everything.
- Steve.
- Shit, Dad? - Steve, Steve.
- Dad? - Steve.
Rachel, what did you do?
- Fuck this.
- Any of you smiley faced fuckers gonna help?
For a skinny fucker, he sure is heavy.
- Dead weight, boss.
- You got that right, Chuckles.
- Uh, boss, I'm Chuckles.
- It was a figure of speech, oh, never mind.
Okay, so I figure we cut his ass up nice and small,
in nice little pieces.
That-a-way there's less of a chance of someone finding the
body and more of a chance of some animal eating his ass.
Look boys, I know it's a lot to ask,
but haven't I always taken care of you?
Bobo, when you had that issue with that little blonde honey
in the miniskirt, didn't I make it all go away?
- Bitch said she was into clowns, Ronnie.
How was I supposed to know she was the mayor's kid?
- Nevertheless, I took care of it.
I do right by all you guys.
What do you say, guys?
Help a buddy out here.
We gotta do this the old fashioned way.
Nice and quiet, no disturbances.
Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah, get it up there.
Oh, slice it up.
Yeah, little small pieces.
Yeah, we want 'em into small pieces,
so we can hide the body a lot better.
Oh, yeah.
- You sure you wanna do this?
Once we begin, it cannot be undone.
- That motherfucker killed Cash.
After all the bullshit he put me through,
he deserves what happens.
But, Autumn, will this work?
What's gonna happen when we do this?
- This is why I'm asking if you're sure.
You've been through so much already and us using a spell
as evil as this against another, it could backfire.
It can be dangerous.
- What the hell do I have to lose, Autumn?
That fucker deserves to pay for what he did to Cash,
and to me.
He has all the money, mine too.
So what choice do I have?
- You could just run.
- And go where?
I have no money, no family, no friends.
Big Ronnie has people all over the country, criminal types.
The scumbags that would slit your throat just for fun.
So he'd have everybody hunting for me.
So I'm fucked either way.
At least this way, I'm calling the shots.
And it's as you said for yourself, I'll get my revenge.
- You'll call the shots, sure.
But neither one of us are in control here.
Stay there without escape.
Witness my darkness, my vengeance against your mortal flesh.
Repeat this with me.
- Power of anger, power of hate.
Discord brings you to your fate.
Demons of anger, demons of hate.
Bring him down, I will not wait.
So it shall be.
Vengeance now may manifest.
- Here me, dark prince.
Give my hatred life.
Manifest to destroy my enemies.
Manifest to bring about my vengeance.
- Fill that hole, Satchel.
That goes for the rest of you guys, too.
We don't anything digging him up.
- Looks like a storm's comin', boss.
- That doesn't look good.
Come on, boys, get in the truck.
Hang on everybody.
I don't know what this is, but it's hitting us really hard.
- Give me your hand.
- Autumn!
Autumn, what the fuck?
- Give my hatred life.
Manifest to bring about my vengeance.
- My heart.
- Hang on, everybody.
- Autumn.
- Oh.
Fuck, this has never happened before.
Savanna, you must leave here.
Go anywhere, but you cannot stay here.
Go.
- But, what will I do?
Where will I go?
You're the only family I have left.
- Just go anywhere.
Be happy.
I'll find you someday.
- Holy hell.
Is it Halloween time, already?
- You got jokes.
- You gotta have a huge sack of marbles
running around this area like that.
- Well, why's that?
- Anyone going up and down the road dressed as Elvis,
with a guitar on his back and this thumb out,
asking for trouble in this town.
- So you're telling me a brother
can't enjoy some Elvis around here?
- Have you looked in the mirror lately, man?
I'd say it's a little more than enjoying some Elvis.
I'd take it, you're playing some kinda show?
- Yeah, I'm toured with a group of guys.
We performed in Vegas some years back.
My vehicle broke down about 20 miles.
Local mechanic said it was a lost cause.
No one would pick my ass up.
- Yeah, I wonder why.
Well, hop in bud.
Let's hit the road.
- And they actually serve food here, too?
- Best Italian steak in the state.
I wouldn't steer you wrong.
It's got real fresh beef.
- Uh huh.
- Oh, hey, just give us a few minutes, honey.
- Hey, no touching, sugar.
- Come on, Bambi, come on.
- Hey, motherfucker, you piece of shit.
You can't be treating the girls like that.
I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but--
- Thanks, man.
- You better get that looked at.
You might need stitches.
- Nah, I'll be okay.
I'm used to dealing with this fucking piece of shit.
- I've had enough of this shit.
Do you like this job?
- Yes, I, , I'm sorry.
- Kurt, why did you do that to this motherfucker?
- He got real handsy with Bambi there.
- You know he didn't mean nothin'.
- Kurt didn't do shit.
I did it, he's an asshole.
He comes in here every payday, harasses us.
Half the time he's sneaking into the dressing rooms.
I have had just enough, Spider.
- So you've had enough of this?
Well the door's that way,
don't let it hit you in your ass, baby.
- Are you serious?
- Hey, it's Spider, isn't it?
- And who in the hell are you?
- I've been coming here for years.
I love the dames, love the eats.
Best Italian steak in the state,
but Bambi here didn't do the damage.
I did it.
- So you did this?
Well I don't give two shits who did this.
This is bullshit.
Get these fuckers out of here and somebody get their ass
on this bar and start jiggling it.
- Screw you, Spider.
I need to get my stuff.
You, you need to get a backbone.
- I'm really sorry, man.
You know, that fucker's my brother-in-law
and this is my only gig.
And two strikes now, you know how it is, man.
I'm sorry.
- Hey, thanks for what you did in there.
- Oh, hell, little lady.
Hey, you had some pretty good moves of your own.
Me and Elvis here, we just stopped in
for some eats and then,
then that asshole started in.
- Well, I appreciate it.
And I'm sorry you guys didn't get dinner,
but there is a diner about two blocks down.
- Well, hell, darling, why don't you join us.
If I'm not being too forward, that is.
- Actually, I am kinda hungry.
Do you mind taking me home after?
- Well as long as Mr. Bambi ain't gonna blow his lid.
- Well, keep your lid on daddio, there is no Mr. Bambi.
- All the better, sweetie.
- Hey, you need a ride?
- Yes, I have power like none you have ever seen.
Even stronger than Godzilla.
We barbecue their asses.
- This is Autumn, look hey, when you get this message,
I need you to send some of the boys over here.
I think those town motherfuckers
are here again, messing around.
I'm gonna--
- You're not gonna need that.
I'm the only lie
you're gonna need.
And good news, I brought some of the boys along with me.
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Well now, Autumn, you should know what's wrong with us.
You made us this way and it's all your fault.
If you'da just kept that nose of yours out of my business,
none of this would be happening right now.
And now we're here to make sure you never do that again.
- Such a pretty face.
I think I'll take it with me.
- Look, I'm sorry.
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, Ron,
I promise I'll stay out of your business.
I won't be in it anymore, just please let me go.
Please stop, stop please.
- Can we shut that mug up?
Come on, she's wailing
like a frickin' police - Oh fuck, I'm sorry.
- siren over there. - Ronnie, wait, I'm sorry.
- Come on, do something. - You're right,
I should stay outta your--
- So I left his cheating ass and I went back to school.
And of course, school is very expensive.
So, I tried to waitress a while.
This very diner, to be exact.
The tips were shitty and the hourly is just insulting.
If I was gonna make it on my own.
I was gonna have to figure out something fast.
So, I gave it a try, that's all.
- Well, one thing's for sure, you got the looks for it,
and the moves to match from I caught of that show.
Man, I'm sure sorry that had to happen.
- So what you gonna do now?
- Not sure.
Hasn't really hit me yet.
But when it does, I'll probably have a good cry,
and figure out the best way I can.
One thing about me, baby, I'm a survivor.
- I'm so sorry, but there's a creep out there
and he's been following me for miles and he tried to give me
a ride and I told him no, and he just keeps showing up.
- You gotta be a freak to follow
a little girl around like that.
- Is that the guy?
- Yeah, real creep.
- Hey, y'all doin'? - You've been wonderful.
- Well, good.
Okay, there you go.
Order'll be up in just a sec.
You okay, hun?
You seen a little nervous or something.
- Yeah, I'm good.
Thank you.
- Haven't seen you around here before.
- Nobody's from around here.
Isn't everyone just passing through?
- Well, you may be right about that.
- I'd take that check when you have the chance.
- Hey, buddy.
Let's have a little chat.
From where I see it, you world's nothing
but bad intentions, man.
The way you're eyeballing that young girl over there.
- Look, man.
I don't want any trouble.
I just wanna get a cup of freakin' coffee
and play on my phone a bit.
- Oh, is that so?
Well that little lady over there is pretty shaken up by you.
Says you've been bugging her, following her around.
Why would she go and lie on you like that?
All right, pal.
How about I buy you a beer.
- Alcohol is bad news, man.
It weakens the character, fuzzes the brain.
It makes you soft.
I've been down that road before.
It's full of nothing but broken promises and pain.
Hurting everyone that you ever gave a damn about.
No thanks, man.
Keep your beer.
- Oh, is that so?
Well, it's moving time around here, buddy,
and I think you should catch the fever.
Get movin'.
Problem solved.
- So is the bus usually on time around here?
- Hell, honey, I haven't taken a bus
since I had pigtails and poodle skirts.
- Fucking wonderful.
- What the hell? - What the hell?
- What the hell is going on?
- We never know.
- You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Screw driver, crowbar, hammer, anything.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
- You know this clown, honey?
- You could say that.
Hey, Flo, you got the keys to that door?
- Under the counter over there, and the name's Alice.
- Of course it is.
Let's go with those keys sweetie.
You don't want these fuckers in here, trust me.
Get the fucking keys.
- Come on.
Yeah.
- Get in the back, all of you.
Get in the back now, move.
Move, move!
Look for a phone.
- Damn, I got nothing.
- Yeah, nothing here either.
Maybe the storm?
- Well, my black ass doesn't feel safe at all right now.
- Look, honey, if you know what's going on with these
painted freaks, you need to let us know pronto.
- It's a long story, honey,
and this ain't the time or place.
All you need to know is is that they are some evil
motherfuckers who do some sick sadistic shit to people.
As in, we need to find a phone that fucking works
and some cops and do it quick.
- I got it.
Cell phone.
Cell phone, cell phone, okay.
- Oh shit, where the fuck did they go?
- Maybe they gave up.
- No, something tells me that ain't
the case with these clowns.
Am I right, darling?
- You have no idea, Billy Jack.
- Shit, who's got the keys?
- Flo's got 'em.
- My name's not Flo, bitch.
- Come on, come on.
Fuck.
- Everybody. - Stay back, stay back.
Stay back, stay.
- Oh my God, what are you doing?
- She's fucking dead! - Oh, shit!
- Get down. - Oh, my God.
- Get down. - Come on, move!
- Okay.
- It's not a big apartment, let's escape.
- Almost got it.
- Fucking bitches.
- Why don't you open the fucking door?
- Fuck, fuck!
- Lock the basement! - God dammit, it's jammed.
- You fucking bitches.
- You think you're a man, I'll tell you that.
We need to go out the door you guys.
Come on, give him some fucking room.
- I got it.
- Bitches, I'll fucking kill you!
- Oh, my God.
- Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck, Rachel.
Come here you motherfucker, you let her go.
- He got 'em off of me.
- Come on.
- Come on, bro, come on. - No.
- Let's go.
- Get off of me.
Get off of me!
- Everything's gonna be okay, Flo.
- My name's not Flo, bitch!
- Make a wish.
- No, no, no!
No, no!
- Hello, darling.
So, you thought you'd step out on me, huh?
Well, here we are.
Face to face again.
- Please, no, please.
- Wanna play doctor?
- Deja fucking vu.
Haven't we done this before?
Ronnie, I'm sorry I--
- Save it, you're a cheap dime store version of a lady.
I'm gonna open you up and I'm gonna operate.
I'm just afraid of what I might find inside there.
Maybe a block of ice where your heart oughta be.
Well, maybe you do have a heart.
Yeah, oh yeah.
- Ooh, crumb cake, my favorite.
I think I'll take a slice.
- Hey, Elvis, see what's in the truck for a weapon.
- You got it.
- Hi.
- There ain't shit up I this truck.
- Hey you, do you wanna save your ass?
Come with us.
- Boo.
- Rachel, fuck!
- Look at my perfect titties.
They're all natural, motherfucker.
- He tried to help us.
- Yo, Hunter, get everyone in the truck.
- You don't have to tell me twice, let's go.
- It's gonna be so much fun.
- Oh, that's new.
I know a strip club down the road that needs some dancers.
- Pull it, how the fuck?
Come on.
Yeah.
Eat up on that motherfucker.
Aw, shit.
- Oh, fuck.
- Elvis, get your black ass in the truck.
- Ooh, a new play thing.
- Operation was a success.
I love the makeover.
- Great, another storm.
It's blowing us all over the road.
- He needs a hospital, Hunter, and quick.
- I'm not supposed to say anything,
but I might be fucking dying here, so.
I'm not some random stalker, you know.
- You need to save your energy.
We're gonna get you to a hospital.
- Fuck it.
I gotta get this out.
- I'm not a priest, baby.
I don't wanna hear your last confessions.
- I'm her real father.
- What the fuck did you just say?
- My name is Nicholas Stone.
Your mom's name is, well it was Theresa Stone.
I fucked it all up.
And I cheated on your mom with her best fucking friend
when you were just 10 feet away in the crib.
Your mom was a waitress, I didn't even have a job.
I did that shit.
Your mom threw my ass out to the curb
and she told me never to fucking come back.
- You never even tried to see me until now?
Having a midlife crisis or something?
- Because I'm not fucking lying
and I refuse to die without telling you.
- What the fuck?
Okay, great timing there, poncho.
- Yeah, I always had impeccable timing.
- We'll get you taken care of, just hang on.
- Shit, it's still coming.
- That fucking tornado just touched down
in the parking lot and these clowns just came out of it.
- After what I've already seen,
I'll pretty much believe anything at this point.
Dude, what's the plan?
- We're all gonna die in here.
- That's enough of that, little lady.
We're gonna make it.
The bastards are gone.
- Where is it?
Where is it?
- Fuck, Hunter, shake that mofo off the roof.
- I'm tryin'.
I can't shake the ugly son of a bitch.
Fuck this freak show.
- No way, man.
No way you're opening that door.
- You can't get him off the truck.
Trust me, I can do this.
- No, do not open that door, god dammit.
- Maybe you can forgive me and think
of your dad as a good guy.
Fuck!
- Oh yeah, that'll do.
Here I come, you sick sons of bitches.
- Grave is deep and the night is fucking cold,
and the world is a skull for a stinking mold.
Just think about it, kid.
- What in the hell are you doing out here
in the middle of the night?
I mean, you may have just won the lucky kid award.
You could have been clown chow.
- Make a right up ahead.
- Damn.
- Just great.
- Hi, Sheriff.
What's going on?
- Oh hey there, Bambi.
Did you hear what happened over at the club?
- I got fired, so thankfully I wasn't there.
- Fired?
Well who in their right minds would fire you?
Hell, you were the only reason to go.
Them other girls, basically meth fiends,
with souls as black as Elvis's hair over here.
- Name's Dion, nice to meet you.
- Damn, you have got some balls, son.
Walking around here, dressed like that.
Say, if anyone asks, you tell 'em you think it's Halloween,
maybe they'll feel sorry for ya.
- Uh, hey, Sheriff.
We're just trying to the lady home.
It's been a hell of a night,
and she's go a kid at home freakin' out.
Anyway we can get through?
- Well I'm guessing you haven't seen a TV or heard a radio.
There is one nasty ass storm heading this way.
Tornado touched down about four blocks away.
The debris from the houses and stuff
is blocking the road up ahead.
- Ah, shit, Sheriff.
Look, we've already had a run in with this storm,
like three times tonight.
Fucker almost ran us right off the highway.
But it's what's inside storm.
I know you're not gonna believe me,
but there are these things.
There are these, , fuck it.
- What's your name again?
- It's Doghouse Riley.
- You been drinking Doghouse?
Don't be a clown.
You think this is the right time
to be breaking my balls out here?
I'm not sure I like your game.
- My days of drinking my lunch
out of a bottle have been over for years, man.
This storm is nastier than a $2 hooker on dollar Thursdays.
This tornado's got me scared man,
and not for myself, but for this town.
This blink and you'll miss it wonder.
I'm just trying to help out, okay?
- You done?
Damn, all right, fair enough.
I guess I'm a little on edge tonight.
Lot of good folks lost their homes
to that twisted sons of bitch.
Chris, what the hell are you and Molly doing back here?
- Sorry, Sheriff, we go where the storm takes us.
This thing is intense.
- You haven't seen Rusty come by here yet, have you?
- No, maybe he had better sense than you two.
- Hey, maybe you guys should listen to the Sheriff.
This thing is bad news.
I mean, it's evil.
- Thanks for your concern there Billy Bob,
but this ain't our first rodeo.
We got this.
- Hey, the name's Hunter and little lady,
you ain't got shit.
If you go anywhere near that fucking thing
and you can kiss your smart ass goodbye.
- Ah, hell, this does not look good.
This shit is getting crazy.
You all need to head out.
And you need to get home to that girl of yours.
Oh, and uh, Doghouse, you be safe too.
- See, I told you that shit was gonna turn around.
Rachel!
Rachel.
Oh, you're all right.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Something's burning, man.
- Well thank you, Captain Obvious.
Fucking wonderful.
- Shit's dead, man.
- Dion, really?
- I know, Captain Obvious, right?
- I'm just trying to be a good Samaritan,
and this shit happens.
Nearest garage?
- Did you hear me, shit for brains?
I don't have time to get a deputy here.
You are my backup.
Now I am telling you, not asking,
get these people outta here and to a safe place.
Do you hear me?
- Well what about you?
Sheriff, you can't stay here,
that shitstorm is coming this way.
- I'm gettin' my ass on the road and alerting everyone--
- Come on.
Hey, come here.
- You got room for me?
- All right, go, go, go.
Son of a bitch, you clowns.
- Well hello, nurse.
Where have you been hiding, honey?
You okay, honey?
I know the circus is in town.
Bitch, what the fuck?
Shit!
- Fuckin' die already!
- This little piggy went to hell.
Oh, yeah.
- I don't know where the hell you came from.
Probably the sewer, but I suggest you all go back
there before my backup arrives.
- Oh, you mean these all-day suckers?
Hey, calm down kid.
Buy yourself an orchid.
- They were so much fun.
- There's only room for one Sheriff in this town, partner.
Oh, yeah!
Rip that piggy apart.
Oh yeah, I smell bacon.
Yeah, burn in hell.
I'm gonna munch on his little,.
Mm, let's have bacon in the morning.
Yeah.
- We've been chasing storms for a long time now,
and we've never seen anything like this.
- Someone needs to come out with the goods here,
and you better lay it on my fast before that screwed up
twister comes back, and we're all having this conversation
from a bunch of pine boxes down on Forrest Lawn.
- Those fuckin' things they ride around in that tornado
like it's a DeLorean that just came back from the future.
And when they get done,
most people they meet aren't breathing anymore.
Do you get it?
- Breaker one three, breaker one three,
Rusty, can you hear us, Rusty?
- Am I not speaking English?
You people are the only way I can home to my daughter.
She is probably freaking the hell out right about now,
and we are sitting here like idiots.
Check that thing while we drive.
That tornado is gonna popup any fuckin' minute.
- I just wish I knew what the hell we're dealing with.
- Oh and I guess we have to deal with this shit again.
Fuck!
- Look sister, those motherfuckers are relentless.
They don't stop coming.
- Thanks for the ride, bitch.
- Chris, we need to find some cover.
That thing's getting bigger.
I don't know if we're gonna out run it.
- We need to figure out how to stop this shit.
That thing's big enough to turn this whole town upside down.
- There's no way to stop a tornado, Einstein.
- Actually, there's a theory
and it's been proven by some scientists.
A tornado is pretty complex, but there has to be a perfect
mix of hot and cold to make it work, right?
- I get it, Molly.
A tornado needs both a cold downdraft
and a warm updraft in order to form.
If you take one of those away,
then the whole thing becomes unstable.
Holy shit, I think I got an idea.
- So how did they stop a tornado?
Get to the point.
- They used liquid nitrogen to cool the whole thing down.
- Liquid nitrogen?
- My uncle, he owns an ice cream shop.
He uses liquid nitrogen to make his own shit.
I just need to get us there.
He's got the whole rig.
A vacuum storage tank, the works.
We just have to figure out how to get it in the tornado.
- Yeah, I might be able to help you there.
- Dammit.
This is bullshit.
- Fuck.
Look dude, get the fuck outta here.
- You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
- Oh, God!
- Get the fuck down.
Now show me that smile, buttercup.
Yes, these freaks can die.
- I'm really glad you knew how to use that.
- Oh, Ronnie's gonna be pissed.
- Well, how you doin', doll face?
No hard feelings, right?
- From where I stand, you smell like
a pitiful excuse for a man.
The stench wraps around my throat and makes me wanna wretch.
Hard feelings, baby, I've got the hardest.
- Motherfucker.
- Don't get your panties wet,
sweetheart, I'm not the dancing type.
- It's so hard to say goodbye, Chuckles.
Watch the bitch.
I wanna make sure she's really dead this time.
Come on, Wizzo.
There's much to do before sunrise.
Someone took one of ours.
And revenge is in the air, boys.
- Damn, too bad the phones are still messed up.
We could have made one phone call
and wouldn't have had to do any of this.
- Molly, you got the goods?
Cover your ears.
Not so bad, come on.
Hunter.
I found it.
Only chance we got, really.
- Okay, if we're gonna do this, we don't drop it,
we don't shake it, we don't even sneeze around this thing,
or they're gonna picking up pieces of all of us
all the way back to Texas, get it?
I'm such an asshole.
I shoulda called my mom when I had the chance and I didn't.
I fucked everything up.
- Oh, honey, it'll be okay.
- Rachel, look at me.
We're gonna get you home, okay?
You and Bambi both.
We're gonna be okay.
- Listen.
What the hell is that?
- Thunder, motherfucker, thunder.
- Chris, we need a cart or something.
- Will this do?
Oh hell.
Oh, Dion!
- Oh, my God. - Dion!
- Dion, Dion! - Oh, no!
- Oh.
Mother fucker.
Ronnie, the bitch is back, and she's comin' to get ya.
- Where the hell are we?
- My uncle's shop is attached to an old mini-mall.
- Got any gun stores?
- No.
Fucking idiot.
Using all that ammo on the goddamn door.
- Shit, it's not on you.
Shit happens and today shit happens every 42 seconds.
We just gotta get this thing to the truck.
Number one priority.
- I think we can get out through here.
We need to get to the parking garage.
That's our way out.
- Sounds good to me.
Easy now.
- No! - Here's Chuckles.
- No!
- Hunter, get 'em outta here.
- Dion! - TCB, baby.
- Well, well, well.
Elvis, I'm such a big fan.
Elvis has left the building.
- Shit.
This is bullshit.
Dammit.
- Shit, Chris, they're coming.
- Chris, give me a hand with this.
Yeah, good.
Hey you get the rig.
- Everything I got.
- Those circus freaks will be here any minute now.
- All right, slowly. - Careful.
- You're gonna have to get in first.
- All right, watch out.
- Rachel, Bambi.
Hey, hotshot, you wanna take the back for cover?
- Already in the plan, my man, I'm your Huckleberry.
- Damn, girl, I think I'm in love.
Another time and another place, right?
Be sure to put the grill back.
- Yeah, god dammit.
- I wish none of this was happening, but it is.
And we gotta stay strong.
We're almost there.
- That's some real uplifting shit, right there.
- Intense.
You, hey.
You're up.
- No I won't.
- Yeah. - No.
- Yeah, you. - What, no.
- Well I guess if you want something done right
you gotta do it yourself.
Turn back.
Get outta here.
Oh, get in here.
- No, let's think about it.
Do it.
- Hey,.
- Oh, yeah, I smell a stripper in here.
Mm, with fishnets.
I'll get one of them.
- I thought I heard something.
- You gotta get that fucker open, man.
- I smell you.
- Look, I can't get up there.
Kick the shit out of it.
- Oh you gotta do something right,
you gotta do it yourself.
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, easy.
- Okay.
You got it?
- All right, follow me.
- Oh yeah.
I smell you.
I want you.
I'm gonna eat a few of you too.
- Oh, go, go, go, go, go.
- Where is that fat sack of peanuts.
- I told you you shoulda parked in the parking garage.
Tornado.
- Well I didn't think we were gonna
be in a fucking parking garage.
Now we gotta get this big bastard back to my fucking truck.
Oh, God!
- There's the way out.
- Is that little fucker still behind us?
- Yeah, he's still here.
- Guess what, you're mine.
- Fuck. - Fuck your little face.
- Oh, pop goes the weasel, motherfucker.
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, there's another one, let's go!
Go.
- What about my daughter?
You were supposed to take me home.
- I promise you I'll get you to her,
but with that tornado out there, nobody is safe.
We have to stop that thing.
Hunter?
- Old airport, about two miles down, south side.
- Yeah, I know where it is.
- I got an old friend there that owes me a favor.
- Man, are you sure he's here?
- Oh, he's here.
Hawk is always here.
- Hawk?
- Yeah, Memphis Hawk.
People call him the Hurricane 'cause
he flew through two of 'em.
Come on.
Hawk?
Hawk!
- Whoa! - Hey, it's me.
It's Hunter, you crazy bastard.
- Yeah, Hunter, I smelled you a mile away.
Sheesh.
Oh, I see you met Mr. Maxwell.
See, he always comes to the front door when somebody's
beatin' on it at 2:30 in the morning.
Son of a bitch.
Why don't you come on in the back, I'll heat up some coffee,
and you can tell me why you're knocking
on my door at 2:30 in the morning!
- Okay, pal.
Coffee sounds great. - Yeah.
- I was up watching the Late Late Show.
Tired of seeing some Joel Edgerton double feature.
Creepy dreams work for me.
Well, uh, make yourselves at home.
Just don't get too comfortable until
I found out what in the hell's going on.
- Look, Hawk, it's been an insane night.
A real waking nightmare.
I don't even know where to begin.
- Well, I tell you what, don't make it some long
drawn out bedtime story, 'cause I hate bedtime stories.
So just hit me with the highlights, okay?
- Okay, all right, pal.
We need your plane, Hawk.
You are the only guy that can do
what we need to get done, okay?
And, look, outside we have a container of liquid nitrogen.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, back the truck up, Hunter.
Fucking liquid nitrogen, are you outta your fucking mind?
Oh yeah, wait, don't answer that.
You got a couple screws loose all right.
- No, listen man, look we had this crazy idea
on how to stop this really nasty tornado.
- You, first of all, I don't even wanna
go around liquid nitrogen, much less put it in my plane
and fly it up into the wild blue yonder.
- A tornado is pretty fragile, it takes the perfect mix
of hot and cold to cool the whole thing down.
- I've been flying the friendly skies for 35 years.
I was in and out of tornadoes while
you were still laying around in your diapers.
So you don't need to tell me
anything about tornadoes, honey.
I've even been up in two hurricanes.
- There's a theory that introducing severe cold
to a tornado would weaken it, destabilize it,
basically causing it to break apart.
- Hawk, have I ever played you for a sucker?
Not once, not one time.
I've always been straight with you.
All I'm asking is for you to trust me, okay?
And you owe me one.
- Yeah, well that I do.
See, this man here, he's pulled my fat
outta the fire more than once.
In fact, last time, he even took some buckshot for me.
- You two can reminisce later, we need to get going now.
You stay in here, honey.
- No, I'm not staying here.
I'm coming with you.
- No, it's safer in here.
Less chance of you being in danger.
- I don't care, I'm coming with you.
- Enough.
Look, if you wanna come, that is your choice,
but we gotta go get that liquid nitrogen, and quick.
- I got a bad feeling about this.
All right, gone over my checklist.
Y'all ready to rock and roll?
- Okay, Molly, can you handle this door?
And Chris, can you get the girls some place safe?
I don't know if this stuff's gonna work.
- No, fuck that, I'm going with you.
I know about this shit and you're gonna need me up there.
- Well, this is some bullshit.
I'm going too.
- Hunter, get the nitrogen.
- Do you think this is even gonna work?
- That's way above my pay grade, honey.
For some reason, I think those crazy bastards
can pull it off.
- Damn, that's one big son of a bitch, Hunter.
- Yeah, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
I've been fighting this thing all night.
My ass is worn out.
- Well you better get bright eyed and bushy tailed, Hunter,
because if this plan doesn't work, then we're outta options.
That thing's gonna destroy everyone
and everything in its path.
- I think it's following us, Hunter.
- What, well, that's good.
That's what we want, right?
- We gotta move it away from the town.
We gotta get it away from all
those occupied houses down there.
We gotta save those people, Hunter.
We gotta get high enough to drop the nitrogen.
It's moving faster than I thought.
You ready to pull that thing?
- Yeah, just a bit closer.
- It's do or die time.
If we don't do it now, we're gonna fail.
We gotta do it now.
- It's jammed. - Fuck me you prick!
- Fucker won't budge.
Fucking serious?
Hunter, help me with this thing.
Please shake, you son of a bitch.
- It's gonna get a lot bumpier!
I can't hold it much longer, Hunter.
It's do or die time.
Now or never!
- It won't fucking move!
- A little more!
- Bombs away!
- Come on, Hawk, get us the fuck outta here.
Take that, shit head!
- Woo!
- We're taking this bitch home, ladies and gentlemen.
Woo hoo, yeah!
- That was close.
Hawk, let's land this bitch.
- I'm way ahead of ya, Hunter.
We're headed for home.
- Woo! - We're on our way home, kids.
- Look at that sky man, that's gorgeous.
- It's been good seeing you again, man.
- It's been great seeing you, Hunter.
Come on, come on. - Ah, please.
- Atta boy.
Now Hunter, I want you to think about this
and think about it really good.
The next you're out there and you're driving through
my neck of the woods and you're like,
I gotta go see my friend, Hawk.
I want you to remember this,
just fuckin' keep going, all right?
- I thought we were all gonna be clown chow
there for a second there.
- Yeah, me too.
- Boys and girls, it's been real.
But I got bills to pay, so I gotta skedaddle.
You guys take care, all right?
Adios amigos.
Yo, Jimmy, where's Maxwell? - Hunter, I think I saw
some of it fall just a few blocks away.
Great.
- Do you think they're dead?
- Oh, let's hope so, sweetheart.
Let's find out for sure and then I'll take you both home.
I promise.
Holy shit.
- That's enough of him.
- Ah, you gotta be fucking kidding me.
All right, go, go, go.
- That's what I always loved about you, baby.
You're just like a walking stick of dynamite.
Smooth on the outside and baby,
when you off, you sure make one hell of a mess.
- Ronnie, baby, I leave a taste like blood in your mouth,
and I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible.
And once I'm finished, you'll understand why
storms are named after people.
We're on a joyride to hell, you and me.
And here's your one way ticket.
- No, oh, Savanna, you don't wanna hurt me.
You love me, and I love--
- Relax, what would I do with you chumps anyway?
I got bigger fish to fry and a circus to run.
Catch ya in the funny papers, you hear?
- Okay, a promise is a promise.
Let's get you two home.
- Oh.
- Clownado, roll six, scene 36A, take one.
Cut.
- Yeah.
Sorry.
- Look man, I think...
Fuck.
- Clownado. - Yeah!
- We did it! - Yeah!
♪ Run for your life and don't look back ♪
♪ Killer clowns are risen and are out to attack ♪
♪ The smarts stop working in out of fear ♪
♪ As you see the machete and the poles near ♪
♪ Life alert signs, flutter your gun ♪
♪ You scream for your life as you feel the first cut ♪
♪ Death is the only joke tonight♪
♪ 'Cause clown are on a bloodbath ride ♪
♪ The color red rains down tonight ♪
♪ In this clownado fly ♪
♪ Lock your doors and stay inside ♪
♪ Pray that they don't find your hide ♪
♪ The color red rains down tonight ♪
♪ In this clownado fly ♪
♪ Don't move, don't make a sound♪
♪ You're now inside the clownado playground ♪
♪ No this is not the nightmare dream ♪
♪ In the distance, can you hear that scream ♪
♪ Reality perhaps stranger than fiction at times ♪
♪ Death bells ring out in their chimes ♪
♪ The water's squirting clowns tonight ♪
♪ Lies hanging abounds in the clownado fight ♪
♪ The color red rains down tonight ♪
♪ In this clownado fly ♪
♪ Lock your doors and stay inside ♪
♪ Pray that they don't find your hide ♪
♪ The color red rains down tonight ♪
♪ In this clownado fly ♪
- Fuck, yeah.
Fuck me.
Goddammit, yes.
Sure.
♪ Death is the only-- ♪
- I can't hold it much longer, Captain.
Sorry.
♪ These clowns are on a bloodbath ride ♪
♪ Death is the only joke tonight ♪
- Would you now?
And this is where we do some stuff.
♪ The color red rains down tonight ♪
♪ In this clownado fly ♪
♪ Lock your doors and stay inside ♪
♪ Pray that they don't find your hide ♪
♪ The color red rains down tonight ♪
♪ In this clownado fly ♪
♪ Woo ♪
- Yeah, Captain Obvious.
- I got a line?