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¶¶¶
We got to go for an exit.
I love it when you get all Special Forces.
Let's go!
Move it!
You didn't tell me we were stealing loose change.
It all spends the same.
-You locked it, really? -Yeah, I didn't want anyone to steal it.
Hurry up. I'm freezing.
-Look what Santa got my girl. -Ah!
-Ah voila ! -Oh that's cute.
[chuckles]
Barbi, baby.
This ride is a joke.
Hey, you know, I don't have a car.
I had to borrow this one from work.
Never mind, by tomorrow night, we'll be in Acapulco.
Did we have to bring him?
Rico sweetheart, he's my brother and he was dropped on his head when he was a baby.
Okay.
Plus,
if we need someone to take the blame,
he'll be perfect.
I love the way you think.
-Are we ready, Neddy? -You got it, sis.
[playing music from the van]
Ah! Turn that off.
-I-- I-- I-- I can't. -I said turn it off.
I-- I can't, that thing is broken.
-I can't. -I'll break it.
No, no, don't touch it!
I should-- I should have maybe turned off the ignition before he did that.
Just take a right and get on the freeway.
Sorry, Rico.
¶¶¶
[alarm goes off with rock music]
Today, I will hold you in my arms for the first time.
Hey, look here, world, Izzy's getting personal with her guitar poster, again.
Get out of here, before I tell Cindy you use mom's concealer on your pimples.
You do that and I won't take you to the guitar store when mom and dad forget.
Don't worry. I made sure they remember.
[alarm goes off]
Izzy!
-Pete, what's wrong? -Honey, look at this.
[laughing]
Honey, she's just excited about her guitar.
I have a pitch meeting this morning and I can't go in look...
What?
[chuckles]
-I can't believe she would... -Well, she's just really excited honey.
[man on TV] That's right, Jason.
A massive storm is rolling in later tonight covering some areas
in upwards of twelve inches of snow.
So, get your shopping done early, and plan on staying in for the next couple of days.
[man on TV] In today's top story,
America's debt crisis continues to spiral out of control.
Right, right. So, we'll push the pitch till eleven,
uh, reschedule the lawyers for Thursday next week.
Right.
Dad, I got it.
Okay.
Hey, have you guys seen my storyboards?
-Did you check your office? -Ah, yes, okay.
-[Pete] You still there? -Yeah, no, those figures-- those are just the estimate.
We'll get the real numbers next week.
Yeah.
[Izzy] Mom, I'm nine.
I can cut up my own breakfast.
Uh, microwave pizza isn't exactly breakfast, Izzy.
Yeah.
Hey, did you hear there was a robbery at the Salvation Army last night?
They stole a ton of coins.
-Excuse me. -Hey!
Eat your pizza.
-Ugh! -Uh, yup got it.
-Um, do you guys know where my quarterly reports are? -Over there.
Thank you.
Okay, bye.
Oh, and Izzy, forehead graffiti.
-Remember when you forgot my last three recitals? -All right, all right.
I'm sorry about that but could you find, like, a less permanent way
to remind your dad and I?
Oh, the milk's already out.
The good news is I don't have to exfoliate my forehead for about ten years.
I have to admit, Izzy.
Your spelling is really good.
I can tell you've been working on that at school.
Dad, I'm nine.
I know how to spell.
Okay.
Listen, um, we know how important today is, you know, since you have been reminding us
daily of the one-day-only, half-off guitar sale for the last six months.
And your dad and I are so proud of you that you've been saving up your money
to buy one yourself, unlike someone with his new car.
Nick.
-Hello. -Nick.
-What? -Headphones.
Oh, Izzy. Don't forget to take the record back to Ray.
Yeah, yeah. I got it.
So, your mom is going to be there when school gets out.
No, I'm not honey.
What do you mean? I've lunch with the Madison's.
-You rescheduled that for Friday. -Did I?
-Mm-hm. -Oh, man. All right.
I'm going to have to make sure I see that in my calend--
-[cell phone vibrating] -Sorry, honey.
-[cell phone ringing] -Hang on one second, honey.
-Hello. -Hello.
-You're ready to go? -Hold on.
[Pete] Right. Yeah, yeah. All right.
-[Heather] Okay, so... -[Pete] I said we're going to reschedule that for next week.
[Heather] Yeah, the numbers haven't changed.
-[Pete] Yeah. -[Heather] They're the same.
[Pete] Uh, huh.
-[Heather] I'll be there as soon as I can. -[Pete] Right.
[Heather] Okay, All right.
Let's go.
Oh!
-Izzy! -Izzy!
[Izzy] Three o'clock.
¶¶¶
Those air guitar skills are going to come in real handy, you know,
when mom and dad forget to give you the real one.
They're not going to forget.
Can you even hold the guitar?
Yeah. I practice every day at school with Ray for rock club.
Oh, right. I forgot about guitar lessons with the janitor,
-"Eddie Van Mop Bucket." -You should hear him. He's really good.
-Is it true what they say about him? -What?
That he's like an ex-jailbird running from the FBI?
Have a nice day, Nick.
Hey, if mom and dad do forget, I'll be at David's.
-With Cindy? -No, we're just flying drones.
Sure, it's all about the drones, isn't it, Nick?
Hey!
[girl] My mom got us tickets for the second row.
No way.
-Hey, Izzy, did you get your guitar yet? -This afternoon.
-Oh, cool! -I know.
We're going straight to the shop, right after school.
Oh, bye, Izzy.
[boy] Whoa!
Thanks, Izzy.
-Have you landed that Ollie yet? -Close.
Can't wait to see it.
[Ray whistling]
Morning, Ray. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you, Izzy.
-Hey! -You brought Jett.
Hi, girl.
I figured with all the craziness before Christmas break, no one would notice.
So, today's the big day.
-You excited? -Yeah. Oh, and before I forget.
Thanks for the loan. Hope I haven't worn it out.
Oh, not likely. I would've done it long ago.
-Ready for a guitar lesson? -Yeah.
Yeah.
-[laughing] -Let's get 'em.
All right.
[Ray] Yeah. Here we go.
Ah!
Yeah.
Maybe I'll get a glass case and mount mine on the wall too.
Huh, kind of hard to play a guitar with it mounted in a glass case.
I'll just store it in there after I'm done with it each day.
Keep the dust and junk off it, right?
Well, I guess it could work.
How come you never take Gloria out of her case?
Oh, man.
Holding that guitar brings back a whole lot of memories, both happy and sad.
Maybe I should come up with a name for my guitar.
That is when I get it.
Yeah, you got ten minutes before school starts.
-You ready to rock? -Yeah.
[laughing]
Hey, we going to do some rocking in here this morning.
Yeah.
[man on radio] In case you hadn't noticed that storm we were expecting tonight
has decided to arrive a few hours early.
Snuggle up, campers, it's starting to come down.
Hey, so this vehicle is not really rated for this kind of weather.
Just thinking maybe I want to find a place where we can just,
kind of, hunker down and let it pass.
Relax, the further south we get, the more this snow is going to let up.
That's right.
Um, South?
Yes, south, as in Acapulco.
-Mexico. -[both laughing]
Um, Barbi, I don't think we're going south.
-What are you talking about? -Well, you said go right onto the freeway
and that's what I did.
What? I said go right, and then get on the freeway, going south.
-Are you kidding me? -Ugh!
We've been going the wrong way for the last three hours?
Ned, turn this around now.
Okay, let me just find a spot to--
-Argh! -Ah! Okay. All right.
Everybody, just sit back.
Here we go.
[Ray laughing]
So, Ray.
How'd you learn to play so well?
Well, there was a time in my life when I had a lot of free time on my hands.
It seems like learning to play the guitar
was better use of it then, a lot of other options.
Oh.
Yeah.
Used to make some of the worst times in my life a lot easier to take.
That's for sure.
[bell ringing]
Ah, time to go to school.
Ah, Ray, couldn't we just forget to show up?
It's the day before Christmas break, all we're going to do is watch videos.
Oh, come on.
I mean just because you in rock club, doesn't mean you can skip class.
Hell, you're trying to get this old guy in trouble.
Okay, okay.
You can come back at recess.
There can be one last lesson before break.
I'll be here.
All right.
[teacher] Madison.
Here.
[teacher] Connor.
Here.
[teacher] Aubrey.
Here.
[teacher] Isabelle.
Isabelle.
Oh.
[sighing] Here.
[background video]
-[man on TV] Now then, who is ready? -[kids] We are!
-Who is? -We are.
All right then.
Let's begin.
And if you look at quarter three, you can see that costs are down
for the fourth quarter in a row.
Now, if you compare, um, where we were a year ago, you can definitely see the difference.
[Izzy] Hey, Ray.
Hey, hey, hey.
That was quick.
For you maybe.
To me, that was the longest morning of my life.
Hey there's your guitar over there.
-Are you ready to jam? -Obviously.
[phone ringing]
Wait a minute here, Izzy.
Yeah, hello.
Oh.
Oh, Mr. Mitchell.
Oh, okay. Yes, yes, Sir.
I'll get to it right away. Okay.
All right.
Hey, I got to cut this short, Izzy.
Uh, apparently, Miss Hawthorne has a wicked draft in the classroom.
-From what? -One of the covers fell off one of the vents
from the old heating system and they didn't put them on that well anyway,
but I got to go down to the basement and fix it, okay?
More keys?
Uh, the-- the-- these are the masters, you know.
The ones I don't use that often.
Okay, I got to go down to the basement.
Oh, you didn't see anything, right?
See what?
Atta girl.
Sound effects.
[whirling sound]
Am I in the presence of the ghost of Christmas yet to come?
[teacher] Wait, stop. We're missing the fog.
Izzy, where's the fog? Come on, guys. We have an audience tonight.
Sorry, sorry.
Okay, let's take it from the top.
Oh, you've got to be kidding.
One, two, three.
¶ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way ¶
¶ Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh ¶
Hey!
¶ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle... ¶
[headmaster on speaker] Attention, all teachers and students,
if you've looked out the window, you can see the storm
that was predicted to hit tonight has gotten here early.
In order to ensure everyone's safety we've, unfortunately, decided
to cancel tonight's performance of "A Christmas Carol."
Sorry, everyone, we will reschedule it for January.
It's a great story for New Year's too.
Oh, man.
What happened to Christmas?
All right.
[Barbi] Ugh!
Is there any way to get any more heat out of this piece of garbage?
It's an ice-cream truck.
At least, we're headed somewhere warm.
Finally.
Soon enough, with all this cash, it'll be unlimited margaritas for everyone on the beach.
Ah!
Yeah, I still don't feel good about stealing money from the Salvation Army.
That's supposed to be for poor people at Christmas.
Don't worry, Ned. It's all insured.
Like banks.
Really? Oh!
Oh! That's great.
[music playing from van]
[man on radio] Authorities may have a break in that robbery this morning.
A witness who may have seen the crooks had described the getaway vehicle
as-- [laughing] get this, an ice-cream truck.
This group of criminals is now being dubbed as "The ice-cream truck bandits."
-Oh, fantastic! -Uh, this storm may come in handy.
After all this snow, the police are going to have their hands full with accidents all day.
I'm thinking we should get off the road at least until dark.
Excellent thinking, Rico.
[bell ringing]
Merry Christmas, everyone.
And have a good Christmas break, okay?
Where are they? Where are they?
Wait. Oh, my phone! Mom!
[doorbell ringing]
-Hey, man. -[David] Yo, he brought the parts.
Get out of this weather, man.
[background hip hop music]
Hi, Nick.
Hey, Cindy.
Uh, I didn't know you were going to be here.
Yeah, well.
Someone ought to keep you boys out of trouble.
Great.
I mean that's cool.
Oh, Izzy.
They're late again, aren't they?
Oh, no. I just talked to them. They're on their way.
I guess the snow is slowing everybody down.
-They're on their way? -Yeah, like, ten minutes away.
Make sure they take you straight home after you get your guitar.
This entire town is shutting down soon.
Uh, speaking of, don't you have a gig to get to?
Yeah, I better hit the road.
But I can't leave you out here all alone.
Don't worry. They're on their way.
-You don't want to miss your set. -No.
Uh, but you can't wait out here in the freezing snow.
Come on inside.
There you go, baby.
I thought Jett liked the snow.
Yeah, she loves snow, but-- but-- I don't love wet dog smell in my car.
-Have a great Christmas, Ray. -You too.
Something wrong?
You sure I can't take you to meet your parents somewhere?
Nah, they'll be here any minute.
Now, if anything changes, you just call me, okay?
Okay, and I'll come and get you. Gig or no gig.
You hear?
Yeah.
Ah! Have a great Christmas break.
Come on here, girl. Come on, Jett.
Okay.
They're just stuck in traffic.
They'll be here.
Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, but I'm heading out
and I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Oh, Merry Christmas to you too, Mindy.
-I'm sorry I was so... -I know.
Crazy day.
Yeah.
Before I go, one question.
Mm-hm. Sure.
What's with the three on your hand?
Uh...
Merry Christmas, Mindy!
-Hey, honey. -Pete, we did it again!
-No! -Yes!
No!
I can't believe this is happening! Why me?
Are you there?
I thought you were picking her up.
Okay, I'll meet you in the lobby.
[both] Oh!
-Let's go! -Let's go!
Come on, Izzy.
-[rock music playing] -[exhales]
-Oh! -Crap.
-Really? -Yes.
We better hurry. It's going to get dark soon.
Ugh!
[Izzy on speaker] Well, boys and girls, it's that time once again.
No, I'm not talking about Christmas. That only happens once a year.
But being forgotten by my parents happens all the time.
So, what do I do now? Well, I may be here all by myself, but--
I'm here all by myself!
¶¶¶
[screaming]
Oh, yeah!
Mm, maybe not.
The school phone line is out.
Oh, man!
You know what? I'm going to try Ray.
-Who's Ray? -Oh, that's Izzy's guitar teacher, slash, school janitor.
Oh, oh.
[phone ringing]
Hey, hey, hey, Heather.
Merry Christmas to you.
Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, too.
Listen, have you seen Izzy? I have her phone, so, we haven't been able to get a hold of her.
Well, Izzy's back at the school. No one's picked her up yet?
Uh, you know, what? We're on our way, but with the snow, it's, uh, it's really slowed us down.
So, we should get there soon.
Okay, I just left there a while ago.
I'll head back and make sure she has some company till you guys get there.
- Okay? -Oh, thank you so much.
I really appreciate it. We'll get there as soon as we can.
Oh, okay. Okay.
Well, girl. We got to go back. Okay.
-Nick? -Yeah.
[cell phone ringing]
-Hey, mom, what's up? - Nick.
Uh, thank goodness.
-Where are you? -At David's, why?
Well, your sister, she's stuck at school, we think.
You think? Are you kidding me? You forgot her again? Today, of all days?
I know. I know.
We really feel terrible about it, but uh, we're on our way.
I could try to get there, but the weather's bad here, too.
I haven't even plowed yet, but...
No, no, no. You know what? You stay there.
I don't want you driving. It's too dangerous.
Your dad and I, we just wanted to check on you, make sure you were okay.
Mom.
Call me when you find her.
I will and don't worry, I won't tell Izzy that you're worried about her.
Yeah, I'm going to hang up now.
Okay. Got a hold of him.
-This is getting bad out. -This is intense.
I know.
I hope we get there soon.
[music from van playing]
Ah, Acapulco,
Acapulco, Acapulco.
Hey, what are you doing?
-Shut up! I'm visualizing. -[music dies down]
We need to get out of this truck, pronto.
And go where? There's nothing out here except for that abandoned school over there.
Wait what?
It's not abandoned, just closed for Christmas break probably.
It's perfect! Pull over.
Might even be some grub there for my Barbi.
Not now.
-Pick up the pace, Ned. Come on. -Come on, Ned.
I'm so sorry.
I can hear her tummy growling. Let's go.
Show's over, folks. Thanks for coming.
[Ned] It's moving.
Let's do this.
[Barbi] Oh-oh-oh.
Let's see what you got. Break that window.
-What kind of a man are you? -I'm a man.
A good man.
You're a disgrace.
I'll show you disgrace.
Rico, I am so sorry.
I got you good.
Ugh!
There!
You sack of... Oh!
Rico.
Great teamwork, guys.
I'm so sorry, Rico.
-Can you see okay? -No.
-Because I can't see anything. -I can't focus here.
I know you need to focus but the roads it's like really icy and slippery.
-I know you need to focus. -Honey, you just-- you just need to stop.
-Okay? -Okay.
Look out!
I knew I should have driven.
[turning on car]
[Pete] I got this.
Let me go check this out.
-[Heather] I can't even open the... -[Pete Don't worry, I got it.
-[Heather] No. -[Pete] You stay here.
[Heather] Well, I don't have much choice.
Oh, it's cold!
Be careful.
Okay.
Oh, man.
Oh-ho.
No.
Oh!
Okay.
-Honey, are you okay? -Yeah.
I've got good news and bad news.
If we stay in here, we've got about one or two hours before we freeze.
-What's the good news? -That is the good news.
What's the bad news?
If we want to get Izzy, we got to go out there, start walking.
Let's go. I have to go out your side because my door won't open.
-All right. I'll help. -Okay, please do.
-Oh, it's slippery. -I know, be careful.
Okay, come on.
¶ On Christmas Eve In the morning ¶
¶ I saw three ships come Sailing in, on Christmas Day ¶
Let's keep moving.
Oh, there's a truck. I'm going to go flag him down.
-Oh, honey! -Help me!
Oh!
Snow angels?
Right.
Come on, we got to go.
This is where our kids get this from.
Ah, come on, girl.
Come on.
There you go.
Hey, Jett! Where you going?
Izzy?
Izzy!
Hey, Jett. What are you doing here, girl?
And
where's Ray?
[Rico] Stop squirming.
Did you guys bring some buddies back?
Take it easy, take it easy.
This looks worthless.
The longer you guys stay here, the more chances you take of getting caught.
The cops come by and check on the school all the time.
Oh, please.
The police are far too busy with the blizzard outside to check on an empty school.
So, Mr. Janitor...
The name's Ray.
Like it matters.
We have a cozy little classroom in a closed-off school.
So, if I were you, I would go ahead and get comfortable
because you're not going anywhere.
Oh, but don't worry, we're not going to hurt you.
Speak for yourself.
We just need a place to hide out for a moment.
-What for? -Oh, we're robbers.
We just pulled off a big old heist.
Oh, so you're the ones who robbed the Salvation Army store.
Guilty as charged.
Yeah, stealing from the poor at Christmas.
Very classy.
Listen pal, you keep your opinions to yourself,
or I'm going to make things a lot harder for you.
Oh, I can see that you--
you guys are dangerous.
Maybe what-- I should have found a safe place to hide,
you know, real safe until you guys just left.
Too late now.
So, you just sit there and shut up.
Same goes for you, Johnny.
Johnny?
That's right.
Johnny.
It's Ned.
I was trying to give you a fake name, so, he wouldn't know who we were exactly.
Sorry, Rico.
-Ah! -Okay, never mind-- just all of you, just be quiet.
I need to think.
-Are you all right? -Yeah, I'm just thinking warm thoughts.
-Like what? -Mm-mmm, us by a fire with Izzy and Nick.
Ooh, that's a warm thought all right.
Honey, what happened to our family?
Life.
Oh.
-Find anything? -Signing the Constitution.
Nothing valuable.
It's a shame we don't pay our teachers more.
I know. They're hardly worth stealing from.
-These your friends? -Huh?
Oh? Well, that one is my sister.
She's a sweetheart. And that is her boyfriend.
Um, I don't know if we're friends or not.
You know I always wanted to have a family and friends,
but if they were anything like these two, I guess I should count myself lucky.
Ah.
I'm hungry.
[Rico] Looky here.
Keys to the school.
Cafeteria can't be far.
Perfect.
Go find the cafeteria and get us some food.
By myself?
It's an empty school.
What are you afraid of?
I'm not afraid.
I just--
I don't care much for old buildings.
They smell funny.
Fine. We'll both go together in the funny smelling, old building.
Maybe we should lock the money up? You know, for safekeeping.
Okay, fine. Whatever.
I am hungry and you know how I get when I'm hungry.
I lose my sunny disposition.
Right. You, sunny?
I mean, I hate when that happens.
Don't.
Wow!
Big wow!
Come on, Jett. Over here.
Let's find a place where there's no windows.
What are we gonna do about Ray?
-Who? -The janitor.
Oh.
I'm still thinking about it.
No windows here.
Voila!
Okay.
I think we should just get rid of him.
Problem solved.
[both laughing]
Look at you getting all commando on me again.
Okay, three bad guys.
They have Ray and, clearly, no one is coming to help us.
We got to save Ray, girl.
[Pete] Oh, wow!
-I can't believe this. -Oh, my gosh I'm so cold.
Oh, honey look! I think that's a barn.
Oh, honey. What if a car comes by while we're down there?
You know what? My toes are about to fall off, they're so cold.
-Just for a minute. -The barn, yeah. Good idea.
What's up, man?
You all right?
Izzy's stuck at school. All alone.
My parents were supposed to call when they found her, but they haven't.
So, she's probably still there.
All alone.
She's probably freaking out by now.
Oh, man.
Look outside, dude.
No one's going anywhere in this.
I know, but I can't just sit here.
Seriously? You're going to go outside in that?
I think it's very cool that you're worried.
How can I help?
Uh...
Okay. I have an idea.
We're going to do what we came here to do in the first place.
Stupid.
Okay. There's no homes, nothing inside.
Just the woodshed and the barn.
-It's locked, but... -I know.
I think I found something. Come on, follow me.
Oh, Pete. I'm so cold.
Get this thing started, we can ride it right on out of here.
-Honey, have you ever ridden one of these? -No, no.
-Well, I don't think-- -But I've seen it on TV.
Well, I've watched doctor shows, and I wouldn't perform surgery.
This isn't ours though, honey. I don't think you should turn this on.
-Honey, it can't be that much different than a car. -Oh my gosh!
All right. Hop on.
Woo!
All right, you need to go slow though because you've never ridden
one of these, okay?
-Okay, you ready? -Yeah, but go slow.
-All right, here we go. -Go slow, please.
[both screaming]
I think we just busted someone's snowmobile.
And a shed.
Let's go get them.
[banging on door]
-[Pete] Okay, let's get in here. -[Heather] Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my goodness. It's so cold.
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
Well, I guess we owe him a little lock too.
Oh, well put it on our tab.
That's right.
Oh, the shed and the snowmobile.
[Heather] Oh, gosh.
-Wow! I'm going to go have a look around. -Okay.
Hey, do you have any service?
-Honey, do you have cell service? -Hold on!
-Pete? -Oh, man.
What do you think? We could just jingle all the way there.
-Have you ever ridden a sleigh? -Well, come on, honey.
The horse knows a way to carry the sleigh.
We just uh, you know, we'll hold on and you know, steer like they do in the movies, right?
Yeah, I mean, at least horses won't go in reverse.
Ah, yeah. There's that.
I think maybe we find another option.
Oh, I feel good about this.
Honey, check this out.
Yeah, come!
Good girl. Good girl.
Yeah.
Whoa! Whoa! Okay, sit.
Yeah, honey she's not a dog.
Why don't you tie her up to that right there,
you know, like what you've seen in the movies.
-Funny! -You'll figure it out.
You're a real comedian.
All right, all right.
Got it. Yee-haw!
There now, easy girl.
-I wouldn't stand right behind her. -Your chariot awaits.
-[horse neighing] -Pete!
Oh!
Oh, my goodness.
Are you okay?
I'm doing great.
-Are you sure? -Yeah.
Alright. Then get up.
-Work in progress. -No, get up.
-This is where I can't escape this from. -Oh no.
Why don't you listen? You're going to start listening to me.
Just gotta come up with another plan.
-No, your plans... -I'm a plan kind of guy.
I'm really starting to think there's something wrong with you.
You love it.
[Ned] There was a time in my life when
cookies and chocolate pudding for dinner would have been a dream come true.
[Barbi] When was that, Neddie?
Last week?
[Pete] Maybe we should just eliminate him now.
No, hey, I didn't-- no. You didn't say anything about eliminating.
-Barbi, I'm not gonna... -Relax, Ned.
Rico is just being dramatic.
Right, Rico? The janitor's tied up.
There's nothing he can do.
Give me another dip.
Oh, great.
I hate the dark.
Bad things happen in the dark.
Probably the storm.
Yeah, it's probably the storm, right?
I guess we're stuck, sitting in the dark.
Yeah, just sitting in this dark, creepy, old school.
Would you shut up?
I'm like really cold.
-Are you guys freezing? -I am fine.
I felt that kind of cold before.
That bone-chilling, heart-stopping, soul-freezing cold.
Hmm.
It's not from the storm, folks.
What's it from?
Why are you even talking to him?
Hey, janitor, I told you to shut up.
You know this building wasn't always a school.
Fifty years ago it was a prison.
What?
Yeah.
They say that condemned still walk the halls at night.
And still paying the price of the crimes they committed half-century ago.
Don't listen to him.
This is a story, of course,
but you have to wonder
there's no windows open.
Where is this unnatural cold coming from?
Dude, think it'll work?
Well, we'll find out pretty soon.
Can't believe you're doing all this for your little sister.
David, you have a little sister.
What would you do if she was stuck somewhere all by herself?
Yeah, I guess I'd help her.
In the meantime, you can help me with mine.
Spencer could use a hand with the stabilizer.
Don't worry, it'll work.
[soft groaning]
-What is that? -Just relax.
It's the heater, or the, the wind or something.
Barbi, I think we need to get out of here.
Would you relax? You want to go out there in that mess? We would freeze to death.
Yeah, but, that's not natural.
-That's, that's... -Maybe a little unnerving.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Like something beyond the grave.
Exactly.
-It's a ghost or something. -Stop it.
Something that freezes the blood in your veins.
Okay, that's enough out of you.
Go find out what that is.
What? Me?
Yes, you.
Who do you think should do it?
I just-- I don't really think we need to know where that's coming from.
What's the matter, Rico?
Are you scared?
No.
No, I'll--
Okay, alright.
You stay.
I'll go.
-Any last words? -Yeah, how about shut up?
-You know... -Don't say a word.
Go.
[groaning continues]
It's just the wind.
It's only the wind.
Oh, holy crap!
Okay, that was it.
There aren't any...
[groaning gets louder]
[screams like a woman]
-What was that? -Don't worry about it.
Everything is fine.
Right, everything's fine.
That's what the captain of the Titanic said.
I love Leonardo DiCaprio.
One down.
Okay honey, let's go.
We got this.
I'm coming.
-Come on. Okay, you ready? -Yeah.
Okay.
Get up!
Get up! Get up!
Come on!
Let's go!
Come on! Ha-ya! Ha-ya!
Honey, are you sure they use goats for sleighs?
I don't know, honey.
Not sure of anything.
-Do I look like a goat rancher to you? -No.
-Why do people even buy goats for? -Milk.
It's okay.
[car approaching]
-Do you hear that? -I do.
Oh my God, it's a car.
It's a car!
[laughing and cheering]
¶ ...or two ago I thought I'd take a ride ¶
-Stop! -Stop!
¶ Pa pa pa... ¶
What?
-Stop! -Stop!
Oh, we are so glad to see you.
What are you guys doing out here in this weather?
Could you please help us with the ride? Our daughter's all alone.
Come on in.
Thank you so much.
Come on Jett, let's go.
[humming]
You guys mind if I stand up for a minute?
This old back of mine doesn't handle sitting too well anymore.
Yes, I do mind.
What are you doing? He is our prisoner.
Hey, thanks.
-Do you know what your problem is? -No.
You're soft, Ned.
Your will is soft, so is your brain, so is your body.
Well, maybe you're right, Barbi.
I wonder what's taking Rico so long.
You poked me real hard.
I can't stand the thought of Izzy waiting outside in this cold.
Honey, we're gonna be there very soon.
I know.
-Are we terrible parents? -No.
No, really, are we? I mean we forget about Izzy's stuff all the time.
It's not just once in a while, it is all the time.
Honey, we're-- we're working.
-So what? -Both of us are working.
-That's not an excuse, honey. -You know.
I mean sometimes things are gonna fall through the cracks.
Yeah, our kids falling through the cracks into an abyss of mom and dad not being there.
You know what? We used to do stuff together as a family and now we do everything apart.
-We really do. -Yeah. I feel like we are losing touch with Izzy.
And Nick.
You know, why don't from now on let's start being a real family.
I-- we have to. We really need to take the time.
Chris, thank you so much for helping us out.
Yeah, thank you.
You know, this isn't really any of my business
but I got a feeling your girl's just fine.
Okay, something is wrong, Barbi.
-Rico should be back by now. -He will be back soon enough.
[sound of chains]
What was that?
-That sounded like... -Like chains.
Yeah.
Oh, no, he's come back.
-Who-- who-- who's come back? -The worst of them all.
Um,
Clarkson.
That-- that-- that's what this is.
Lewis Clarkson.
He died in his chains.
As-- as cold of a man as there ever was.
He stole the last meal of a man headed to electric chair.
Oh, yeah, I just hope he-- he doesn't-- he doesn't get to your missing friend, old Lewie.
-What? -Don't-- don't listen to him.
You... shut...
What happened?
Is he dead?
-What? -[Ned] You look worried.
I am not worried one bit.
I should be in Acapulco!
I don't believe this, not for a single second.
You're right, probably not.
-Barbi, can we please just get out of here? -No.
Okay, fine.
I'll go check it out.
-Can I just say one thing? -No.
He collects jewelry, rings, necklaces, things like that.
If you feel something cold on your throat, just-- Him.
Quiet.
Can I-- can I make a point?
-Is there a ghost observation? -You're not
very much like your sister.
No, she's assertive, I guess.
I mean, you're not soft.
I mean you're just a,
a nice person.
Thank you.
You don't like to hurt people.
You don't like stealing from the poor.
Are you sure you're cut out for this?
Yes, I am a robber, Ray.
This is easy to fix.
Well, I disagree.
Oh, look, I've made mistakes in my life.
I followed others, you know.
And then one day what happens, I end up in prison.
-In prison? -Yeah.
But believe me, it's something you don't want to experience.
Every minute the world gets further and further away from you.
In the end, what prison takes from you cost more than what you stole is worth.
The money.
Come out, come out, whoever you are.
Jett, come on, help me!
Alright, open the door! Right now!
[Izzy] Two down.
[Barbi] Open this door!
The noise has stopped.
Maybe it's satisfied.
There were never any ghosts in here, were there?
Yeah, you got more to be afraid
in your two partners than any ghost in this place.
-Hey, they-- they are not-- -Yes, so Ned.
I've had two miracles in my life.
The first was discovering the guitar when I was in prison.
Without it I don't know what I'd be now.
Maybe in the cell next to the one that's-- that's gonna be for you.
And the other miracle was when I found someone
who saw the part of me I thought was long gone.
And she was a singer in a band that I auditioned for.
We became friends and-- and then more than that and, eventually, she married me.
Her name was Gloria.
She passed away about five years ago.
Why-- why are you telling me all this?
Because you need to know
that there's a life worth living on the other side.
I am so sorry for us laying our guilt upon you.
Oh, don't you worry about that.
You know I'm something of a student of human nature.
I know who's naughty and I know who's nice.
Wow, that sounds like something in a fortune cookie.
Maybe that's where I heard it.
-We're ready? -[David] Yeah.
I programmed the school's GPS coordinates and it looks like the blizzard stopped.
So that should give you clear visibility on the way there.
We'll be watching. But the drones will fly on autopilot until they reach the school,
then they'll land themselves.
Perfect.
-You think this will work? -I hope so.
-Good luck, Nick. -Thanks.
When all this is over, you and I should go fly drones sometime.
Yeah, we should uh-- we should do that.
Okay.
Alright. Here we go.
-It works! -It worked!
It works! Okay, okay.
I'm next.
Whooo! Yeah!
He's doing this.
Let's go Nick!
Whooo!
[Barbi stumbling] Where's my stupid phone?
Come on, come on, pick up the phone, you moron.
[cell phone ringing]
Rico Sanders, personal bodyguard to the stars.
Rico!
-Barbi? -It's not a ghost, you idiot.
It's a kid!
Okay, okay, I'm coming.
[Barbi] Really?
Go check on Ned.
I don't trust him.
-Where are you going? -I am going to end this nightmare.
Hey.
[laughing]
So, are the knots too tight?
I'll manage.
But you can solve all that by just letting me go, Ned.
Ray, I can't.
My sister...
Okay, we can just tell them that you escaped and then if they catch me,
then I'll just pretend like you knocked me down or something.
-[Rico] What do you think you're doing? -Rico.
I'm-- I can't do this, okay.
This is wrong.
I should have never let you guys talk me into it in the first place.
[Barbi on speaker] Attention, students.
This is your principal speaking and I am here to give a message to the little creep
responsible for all the games we've been playing today.
The games are over and I have one because I have something you want.
So if you want your friend back in one piece,
then you better give me my money back.
Oh, and you have five minutes.
And believe me when I tell you-
that what's his name-- Ray, well Ray is gonna lose big time.
The clock is ticking.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
I hate kids.
I hate kids!
What's going on here?
I caught your brother here trying to let the janitor go.
I should have known I couldn't trust you.
You've always been such a disappointment.
Always questioning me when I ask you to do something.
Always whining [in childish voice] about not wanting to hurt innocent people.
So as of right now,
you are no longer my brother.
Best news you heard in a long time, Ned.
What are we going to do about this reject?
Ah...
Same thing as we always plan to do.
Just a little sooner.
And what exactly is that?
You'll find out soon enough, both of you. [laughing]
Well, it looks like your friend cares more about money than you.
My kind of people.
[Izzy] You're wrong.
Izzy, run! Run!
[Barbi] There you are.
You want to make a deal?
I'll give you your money.
Just let Ray go.
Listen here, you little brat!
I am through playing games with you.
So you take me to my money right now or things are gonna get nasty.
Just take me but don't hurt her.
Oh, wouldn't you like that?
Move.
[Chris] We are almost there.
Good.
You know, you look really familiar, Chris.
Do I?
Where are you from?
I'm from up north, way up north.
Can I ask you a question?
What?
Does it bother you stealing from poor people, especially this time of year?
What does the time of year have anything to do with it?
When somebody has something I want, I take it.
Geez, where'd you get an attitude like that? Didn't your parents teach you anything?
Parents?
Never had much use for parents.
Speaking of, where are yours?
They get busy sometimes.
Busy?
Busy is just an excuse.
Busy is something they tell us when they have more important things to do.
Congratulations, kid, you just learned one of life's most disappointing lessons.
Well?
Hey, Rico, I guess now that Barbi has disowned me
as her brother I can tell you what I really think of you.
This ought to be good.
Go ahead.
Well, quite frankly, I don't like you
and I never have
and I never did.
And you're a bad guy.
You are-- you're also an awful person. So...
Oh wow, that--
that really hurt.
How will I ever go on?
Is that it?
No. I have one more thing to tell you.
Hmm, can't wait. What is it?
You're really good at tying people up.
Not.
Let me show you how to tie a real knot.
[Barbi] Alright, enough of the life lessons, kid.
-Where's my cash? -[Izzy] Right up here.
But there's one thing I have to say.
Do I have to hear this?
Sure. My parents are busy but they're not out having fun and messing around.
They're working hard to take care of me and my brother.
Ooh, that is a very, very touching story, kid.
But stop stalling and tell me where my money is.
Oh, I wasn't stalling you, I was distracting you.
From what?
Her.
I would probably let go of me very slowly.
This is Jett.
She also loves me.
But, as you can see, she doesn't like you very much.
So if I were you, I'd just stand there till I get back.
Where are you going? Get back here!
Good dog. Good dog.
Shh.
Would you like a cookie? Do you want a cookie?
Good girl. Good girl. Cookie. Cookie.
-Izzy, you alright? -Yeah.
I'm sorry about lying to you about my parents coming but-
Wait, aren't you a bad guy?
Not anymore. It's a long story.
Where's Barbi?
Jett's guarding her. Come on.
Oh, alright.
[Pete] Okay, let's go get her.
-[Heather] Okay. -You guys check the front.
-I'll go and take a look out back. -Okay.
-Thank you. -Thank you, Chris.
Merry Christmas.
[Heather] Merry Christmas to you, too.
Alright, come on, honey.
Izzy!
-Jett, you let Barbi get away for some cafeteria cookies? -[Ray] Oh, shame on you.
This dog gonna walk over my dead corpse for that milk bone.
So, where is my ex-sister?
Oh, hey, hey! Excuse me.
Have you seen our daughter Izzy?
That's your daughter? [laughing] Good luck, buddy.
That was weird.
-Where is she? -I don't know.
Okay.
Ice-cream truck bandits.
[struggling]
Hey, the school is closed, buddy.
I don't think so.
You are not getting away with that Christmas money, Curly.
[music playing from van]
Piece of junk!
[music dies down]
Hi.
Yeah, I think I might have found those stolen coins.
[buzzing sound approaching]
Sorry.
I don't know where else to go.
Mom! Dad!
-Izzy! -Izzy!
-[Heather and Pete] Izzy! -Mom! Dad!
Thank you.
[radio chatter]
I could have been a police officer.
-There you are! -He is the one who did it!
-It was all his fault! He made me do it! -You left me behind.
Shut up.
-Don't put him in my car. -You left me.
Don't put him in my car!
I loved her!
-Don't put him in here! -I loved you!
-Shut up! -Now I hate you 'cause you're an ugly liar!
Hey, Mike, can I have a minute with Ned here?
I suppose.
I told the police everything, how you saved me and how you helped Izzy.
Well, thanks, but I deserve everything I get, so.
Yes, you do.
But don't worry, the district attorney is the bass player in my band.
They clear things up pretty quick if he thinks he's doing the right thing.
Yeah.
Listen to me.
I meant what I said in there.
You have a friend on the outside.
Me.
And how'd you like a job as my assistant?
Yeah, I can use the help.
I would love that, Ray.
Alright, Ned.
[Barbi] No! I say clear this punk out!
So you tricked one of them into thinking you're a ghost and he fainted?
Yep.
And you lured the other one into a janitor's closet and locked her inside?
Yep.
I can't believe you did all that.
I keep telling you guys, I'm nine years old.
I'm not a little kid anymore.
Oh, do you realize that this is the first time we've all been out together
as a family in I don't even know how long.
You know what, I-- I say we go have dinner right now,
unless you just want to eat more pudding.
[exhales]
Things are gonna change, okay? We promise.
Starting this Christmas.
In fact, let's call the office in the morning
and tell them Christmas vacation has already started.
[Heather] That's perfect.
A fresh start.
Hey, mom, dad.
-Mm-Hm? -While we're on the topic of fresh starts,
maybe there's something else we can do.
Ah.
Hey, Ray.
Um, if you don't have plans for Christmas, we'd love to have you celebrate with us.
Thank you.
-Yeah, yeah, sure. -Oh, great.
Yeah, yeah.
[laughing and playing]
Oh my gosh.
Ah, what a great Christmas.
Yeah. Hey, and what's Christmas without goofy slippers.
Yeah, I second that.
We're not quite finished yet, mom.
Here you go, Izzy.
Nick, thanks!
Oh!
[Pete] Nice.
Okay, I know we didn't buy a guitar on the one day half off sale but
figured that'll come in handy when you do get it.
And I think that we've got one more present for Izzy.
Yes.
Just wait one second here.
Is this--
I know, the empty case isn't much now but that guitar is gonna look great in it.
I'm so sorry we didn't make it to the guitar sale
but dad and I, we are gonna get you a new guitar after Christmas.
Don't anyone move, okay?
This is for you, Izzy.
[gasping]
[Izzy] Gloria!
This time I took her out of that case and gave her a new home.
I think she'll really like it here.
Wow.
Yesterday I didn't even have a guitar.
Now I have enough gear to go on tour.
Slow down, okay, rock star?
You know, maybe you should finish elementary school first.
Well, there's only one thing left to do.
What's that?
[all] Play something.
[rock music]
[man] Take one.
[Izzy] Ooh!
[man] Cut! Cut!
[Rico] What are we gonna do about Ray?
-[Barbi] Who? -[Rico] The janitor.
What are we gonna do about Ray?
Who?
The janitor.
Who?
The actor from Lethal Weapon.
[man] Cut!
[laughing]
That's right, Jason, a massive storm is rolling in later tonight,
kind of like these biceps.
Isabelle!
Tim Allen, this is for you.
[burping]
Yeah.
-Oh, honey! -Help me!
-[Heather] Funny it just got real, it's silly. -[man] Alright.
Action!
Throw.
-[man 2] Reset. -[man] Oh, boy.
Ugh, so close.
So close.
Action.
[man 2] Oh, sorry!
-What is wrong with her? -Oh, my gosh.
You know what? This-- this is from you.
Yeah. Anything--
Sorry.
[man] 121, daycare. Take two. Mark.
[Barbi] What's the matter, Rico?
This is ridiculous!
[laughing] Alright.
It's okay.
Are you scared?
No.
Oh.
No.
[man] Apple, fifteen apple, take five. Mark.
[man 2] Rolling.
Whoa!
I just do whatever you tell me to do.
You wear the pants in this family.
Yes, I do.
Are you kidding me?
We've been going...
Are you kidding me?
We've been going...
I can't believe this.
[Ned] You have to believe.
[Ned] I'm your own worst enemy.
[all laughing]
Come on, come on, baby.
[man] Cut!
[Izzy] You know she's not gonna fall.
[man] Wow!
We're gonna do what we came here to do in the first place.
[man] Wiggle for just a second.
No, let's cut with all that noise.
[man] 121 Charlie, take two. Mark.
Whoa!
This is for you, Owen Wilson.
Wow!
[all laughing]
You do that and I'm not taking-- [mumbling]
I can hear her tummy growling.
Let's go.
That's not her tummy.
[man] Cut!
Whoa!
Sorry.
You know I was Charlize Theron's bodyguard.
I guess my chances of becoming a police officer are over.
You kind of remind me of my father.
He was a cop.
-[Heather] Look out! -Oh!
[laughing]
Was that too much?
Whoa!
Sorry.
¶¶¶
[music ends]