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1
00:00:00,591 --> 00:00:04,174
(WHIMSICAL ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

2
00:00:08,823 --> 00:00:13,823


3
00:00:13,825 --> 00:00:18,043
(STATIC FIZZLES)
(WHIMSICAL ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

4
00:00:18,045 --> 00:00:21,628
(WHIMSICAL ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

5
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,451
(CAMERA WHINING)

6
00:00:25,453 --> 00:00:26,284
Well I tell you what, it's been

7
00:00:26,286 --> 00:00:27,539
turned upside down this morning.

8
00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:28,372
Have you looked in Jenny's meeting?

9
00:00:28,374 --> 00:00:30,403
Well I can't because she's
in the meeting isn't she

10
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:33,307
and I want to film her when
she comes through the door.

11
00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:34,198
That's all the best stuff.

12
00:00:35,155 --> 00:00:36,607
Good day, guys.

13
00:00:36,609 --> 00:00:39,669
Oh hi mate, we need a
camera, a video camera

14
00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:40,502
and we need it pretty much right away.

15
00:00:40,504 --> 00:00:42,333
Yeah, we're having a
surprise party like yesterday

16
00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:44,693
so we need to be out of here
with a fully charged beauty

17
00:00:44,695 --> 00:00:47,133
and as the man says right away.

18
00:00:47,135 --> 00:00:49,435
Okay, sure, well let's
see what we got here.

19
00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:56,543
This is the Palitrace
116E this has full HD...

20
00:00:56,545 --> 00:00:58,883
- Makes a nice sound...
- Video recording,

21
00:00:58,885 --> 00:01:01,853
face recognition and 28
millimetre wide angle lens.

22
00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:04,593
That looks like just
the ticket my good man,

23
00:01:04,595 --> 00:01:06,673
wrap her up and send her to my tent.

24
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,583
- Excellent.
- Hold your horses.

25
00:01:08,585 --> 00:01:13,243
How much is this Palitrace N-A-V ASAP.

26
00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:15,433
- VIP.
- RSVP.

27
00:01:15,435 --> 00:01:16,939
- IOU.
- This is actually...

28
00:01:16,941 --> 00:01:18,627
- a pretty good deal.
- RIP.

29
00:01:18,629 --> 00:01:20,379
- IMF.
- 1,580 pounds.

30
00:01:21,865 --> 00:01:23,863
- What?
- Oh no no no

31
00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:25,323
that's a good price for you mate,

32
00:01:25,325 --> 00:01:27,253
now we're looking to
lower our sights a bit.

33
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,283
We just want a camera.

34
00:01:28,285 --> 00:01:29,693
We don't want to buy Universal Studios.

35
00:01:29,695 --> 00:01:32,722
Yeah, we want to film a
party, not a Harry Potter movie.

36
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:33,624
Yeah, yeah.

37
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:34,963
And the point is I've
already got a camera

38
00:01:34,965 --> 00:01:37,733
but I can't find it and this
party is in half an hour,

39
00:01:37,735 --> 00:01:38,713
so we need something good,

40
00:01:38,715 --> 00:01:41,093
you know about a couple hundred quid.

41
00:01:41,095 --> 00:01:45,918
Right okay, um, let's
see what we got here, um.

42
00:01:48,365 --> 00:01:50,315
All these are a bit out of your budget.

43
00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:53,588
Yeah, this might do actually.

44
00:01:54,685 --> 00:01:57,493
100 now, so this has interchangeable lens

45
00:01:57,495 --> 00:02:00,453
with intelligent zoom and the new hybrid

46
00:02:00,455 --> 00:02:01,286
OIS operating system.

47
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,483
It's two Vs though, that's not good.

48
00:02:02,485 --> 00:02:06,064
Ah, no we wanted two Vs,
we need at least three Vs.

49
00:02:06,066 --> 00:02:07,683
Three Vs, three Vs on a TV.

50
00:02:07,685 --> 00:02:08,703
Yeah, definitely three Vs.

51
00:02:08,705 --> 00:02:10,317
What do you think, yeah?

52
00:02:10,319 --> 00:02:11,793
- Any good?
- How much, how much?

53
00:02:11,795 --> 00:02:13,631
This is actually a
really good price, this...

54
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,763
- How do I look?
- You look great.

55
00:02:15,765 --> 00:02:18,413
- Great.
- So, I like this guy,

56
00:02:18,415 --> 00:02:19,542
how do we this?

57
00:02:19,544 --> 00:02:20,383
Do me the deal.

58
00:02:20,385 --> 00:02:24,029
Yeah, well I'll tell you
what, you guys are in a hurry.

59
00:02:24,031 --> 00:02:28,403
How about I give you this,
300 right now, no questions.

60
00:02:28,405 --> 00:02:30,746
No no no I said about 200.

61
00:02:30,748 --> 00:02:33,283
All right, it does work properly.

62
00:02:33,285 --> 00:02:35,103
Final offer, 249.

63
00:02:35,105 --> 00:02:36,333
- Yes.
- 249.

64
00:02:36,335 --> 00:02:37,403
- So how do we do it?
- How do we do it?

65
00:02:37,405 --> 00:02:38,983
I'll go and enter some
numbers in the computer.

66
00:02:38,985 --> 00:02:40,033
- Right.
- Okay, I'll be back

67
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,706
with the paperwork, 249,
are we happy with 249?

68
00:02:41,708 --> 00:02:42,713
- 249, yeah, shake on that.
- 249.

69
00:02:42,715 --> 00:02:45,183
- Well done.
- You are the 249 man.

70
00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:46,835
Thank you very much.

71
00:02:48,618 --> 00:02:51,768
Okay, that's great, see the price.

72
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,322
What's that what are
you doing with that?

73
00:02:54,324 --> 00:02:55,343
Nothing.

74
00:02:55,345 --> 00:02:56,333
Did you find that on display?

75
00:02:56,335 --> 00:02:57,723
Because that shouldn't be on display.

76
00:02:57,725 --> 00:02:58,893
Yeah, I know.

77
00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:00,843
Well, you can't sell that.

78
00:03:00,845 --> 00:03:02,247
Mr. Talbet sent them back.

79
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:03,393
They're part of the heat damaged batch.

80
00:03:03,395 --> 00:03:05,201
Shut up Nathan, I've
got two guys over there

81
00:03:05,203 --> 00:03:06,110
who's gonna pay cash for this.

82
00:03:06,112 --> 00:03:08,393
Mr. Talbet's obviously missed this one.

83
00:03:08,395 --> 00:03:10,143
But you can't, it's one
of the heat damaged batch,

84
00:03:10,145 --> 00:03:13,306
hence heat damaged, so you can't sell it.

85
00:03:13,308 --> 00:03:14,873
Listen I've got two
guys paying cash for this.

86
00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:17,433
Counting on them not knowing
what heat damaged means.

87
00:03:17,435 --> 00:03:18,268
All right.

88
00:03:20,085 --> 00:03:22,835
(CAMERA SCRAPES)

89
00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,115
Here we are gents, got that camera.

90
00:03:29,455 --> 00:03:30,677
Oh yeah.

91
00:03:30,679 --> 00:03:31,932
And that

92
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,833
- for you.
- Nice doing business

93
00:03:33,835 --> 00:03:35,883
- with you gents.
- How you doing?

94
00:03:35,885 --> 00:03:37,798
I meant yes yes we got the camera

95
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,573
and we're on way back now.

96
00:03:39,575 --> 00:03:42,753
Oh, did you hear that
thing about the film titles?

97
00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:46,233
- What's that?
- All right, name a film title

98
00:03:46,235 --> 00:03:47,726
that best describes your last dump.

99
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:51,383
- How do you mean?
- Okay, well look the last

100
00:03:51,385 --> 00:03:55,232
- dump I took was Deep Impact.
- Oh yeah (LAUGHS).

101
00:03:57,205 --> 00:04:02,205
Oh I get it how about Sliders?

102
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:04,751
- Sliders.
- Too slow.

103
00:04:04,753 --> 00:04:06,228
Slash Clash of the Titans.

104
00:04:07,225 --> 00:04:10,233
- True Grit.
- Ah, True Grit.

105
00:04:10,235 --> 00:04:12,885
- Brokeback Mountain.
- Ah, I like the cowboy thing.

106
00:04:14,095 --> 00:04:15,653
(LAUGHS) So listen Jenny has got no idea

107
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:18,623
- about any of this.
- No idea.

108
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,073
- So life is good.
- Yeah, life is really good.

109
00:04:21,075 --> 00:04:22,393
Yeah, cheers, thanks.

110
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,863
I've got this great deal at work,

111
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:28,003
me and Jenny we're
getting along really well

112
00:04:28,005 --> 00:04:30,663
and I finally cleared
up this thyroid problem.

113
00:04:30,665 --> 00:04:33,533
Ah yeah, what was that?

114
00:04:33,535 --> 00:04:35,558
- I grew breasts.
- What?

115
00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:40,863
Yeah, it's true, all of a
sudden Mikey well I'm sporting

116
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,230
these lovely lady lumps.

117
00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:45,203
- You're fucking kidding me.
- I wish I was.

118
00:04:45,205 --> 00:04:47,453
Well first minute I had a bit of cold

119
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:50,734
and then bosh bosh I got these fun bags.

120
00:04:50,736 --> 00:04:53,213
- That is insane.
- Would I lie to you?

121
00:04:53,215 --> 00:04:55,667
- You had tits?
- Yes I did, yeah yeah.

122
00:04:55,669 --> 00:04:58,763
I had tits, they're starting
to go away a bit now,

123
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,257
but a couple of months ago

124
00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,525
I was thinking of doing a calendar.

125
00:05:02,527 --> 00:05:03,590
Mmm.

126
00:05:03,592 --> 00:05:05,663
Can I touch it or something?

127
00:05:05,665 --> 00:05:08,143
Fuck off, here we are lad.

128
00:05:08,145 --> 00:05:09,983
So what did you get
Jenny for her birthday?

129
00:05:09,985 --> 00:05:12,933
- Now that is a surprise.
- Yeah, but not for me.

130
00:05:12,935 --> 00:05:14,683
Well make sure you get the camera.

131
00:05:14,685 --> 00:05:17,323
You wait and see my friend.

132
00:05:17,325 --> 00:05:21,050
- On Golden Pond.
- Like what you did there

133
00:05:21,052 --> 00:05:23,593
- the pond.
- Catch Me If You Can.

134
00:05:23,595 --> 00:05:26,412
- The Line of Fire.
- I like it.

135
00:05:26,414 --> 00:05:30,453
- Chicken Run.
- Yeah, As Good as It Gets.

136
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:34,661
- Honey, I've Shrunk the Kids.
- Death Trap.

137
00:05:34,663 --> 00:05:38,838
- Beetlejuice.
- Big Momma's House.

138
00:05:41,495 --> 00:05:43,145
- Mr. Bean. (LAUGHS)
- Mr. Bean?

139
00:05:44,613 --> 00:05:45,871
MIKE: Yeah, a little
one, yeah you know.

140
00:05:45,873 --> 00:05:47,456
- All right.
- Yeah.

141
00:05:48,295 --> 00:05:50,488
MIKE: Right, so give me the camera

142
00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:52,462
if you don't mind mate, thanks.

143
00:05:52,464 --> 00:05:55,413
Because I'm gonna try and film
it right from the word go.

144
00:05:55,415 --> 00:05:56,693
- So I think...
- Howdy.

145
00:05:56,695 --> 00:05:57,903
MIKE: I can see you, yes, that's fine.

146
00:05:57,905 --> 00:05:59,884
Oh, there's me, look.

147
00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:00,818
- Hello boss.
- Hello mate.

148
00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:02,452
Hello everyone, hello!

149
00:06:02,454 --> 00:06:03,986
CROWD: Hey.

150
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:07,693
Sorry I'm late, a
camera crisis is averted,

151
00:06:07,695 --> 00:06:09,733
so look there, ooh look where's the zoom?

152
00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:10,566
Oh, there it is.

153
00:06:10,568 --> 00:06:11,720
Look at the presents on the table

154
00:06:11,722 --> 00:06:13,429
and there are the flowers.

155
00:06:13,431 --> 00:06:14,786
Hello, hello, hello.

156
00:06:14,788 --> 00:06:15,843
- Hiya boss.
- Hi.

157
00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:16,938
Do you want me to hold that?

158
00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:18,743
MIKE: Yeah, Nick, you sort
that out up there, there,

159
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,105
right there you go mate.

160
00:06:20,107 --> 00:06:20,938
Okay, got it.

161
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:21,771
Okay, is the caterer here?

162
00:06:21,773 --> 00:06:22,995
NICK: She's setting up all good.

163
00:06:22,997 --> 00:06:24,310
We're all ready to go.

164
00:06:24,312 --> 00:06:26,975
Right, ladies, look the
film some of my friends.

165
00:06:26,977 --> 00:06:28,809
- Hi.
- This is so exciting.

166
00:06:28,811 --> 00:06:30,976
So exciting, we haven't
been together for ages.

167
00:06:30,978 --> 00:06:33,743
It's gonna be great,
Jenny's gonna love this.

168
00:06:33,745 --> 00:06:36,654
Ladies and gentleman, could
I have your attention please?

169
00:06:36,656 --> 00:06:39,301
Attention please, ladies and gentleman.

170
00:06:39,303 --> 00:06:41,563
I'd just like to say a few
words before everything starts.

171
00:06:41,565 --> 00:06:44,661
Thank you so much all for
coming, this is gonna be great.

172
00:06:44,663 --> 00:06:46,743
Jenny's gonna get a
real quick out of this,

173
00:06:46,745 --> 00:06:49,074
or I'm gonna get a kick out of her

174
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:52,771
and so this is my PA Nick
and he's the cameraman

175
00:06:52,773 --> 00:06:54,155
- at the moment.
- Hello.

176
00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:56,563
We'll all get a go
later, so say nice things

177
00:06:56,565 --> 00:06:58,739
into the camera for
Jenny for her birthday,

178
00:06:58,741 --> 00:07:00,703
that'll be really good.

179
00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:02,568
Has everyone got a drink,
everyone got a drink?

180
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:03,401
- Yes.
- No.

181
00:07:03,403 --> 00:07:04,983
- Yes?
- My friend hasn't actually.

182
00:07:04,985 --> 00:07:06,762
- Oh, well who...
- Ah.

183
00:07:06,764 --> 00:07:08,390
- What's your name?
- Samantha.

184
00:07:08,392 --> 00:07:09,993
NICK: Samantha, I'll take one of those.

185
00:07:09,995 --> 00:07:11,606
Samantha, can you
make sure everyone's got

186
00:07:11,608 --> 00:07:13,323
a glass of champagne?

187
00:07:13,325 --> 00:07:14,849
Thank you very much Samantha.

188
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,412
- Uh boss?
- What's the matter?

189
00:07:16,414 --> 00:07:18,033
NICK: I think there might
be a problem with this camera.

190
00:07:18,035 --> 00:07:20,303
- What?
- Yeah, it's stuck

191
00:07:20,305 --> 00:07:22,060
- on the floor, it won't.
- Oh, let me have a look.

192
00:07:22,062 --> 00:07:23,498
There, it won't turn off.

193
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,578
John, John can you help us?

194
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:29,567
Just make sure it's running
John, is it running?

195
00:07:29,569 --> 00:07:30,400
- It's recording.
- Is it?

196
00:07:30,402 --> 00:07:31,816
JOHN: It's recording look
there nothing wrong with it.

197
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,603
- Is it fine?
- It's stuck on record though.

198
00:07:34,605 --> 00:07:36,783
It doesn't matter, sorry
ladies and gentleman,

199
00:07:36,785 --> 00:07:38,603
ladies and gentleman once again hold up.

200
00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:40,623
I'm afraid that the camera I've just gone

201
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:43,423
and spent 200 pounds on is a lemon,

202
00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:45,793
so it's stuck on record, sorry mom,

203
00:07:45,795 --> 00:07:48,073
it's stuck on record
so just say nice things

204
00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:51,913
all of the time and
get charge your glasses

205
00:07:51,915 --> 00:07:54,163
and happy birthday Jenny!

206
00:07:54,165 --> 00:07:55,365
CROWD: To Jenny, hey!

207
00:07:57,297 --> 00:07:58,213
Right, right, now you're
gonna have to be quiet,

208
00:07:58,215 --> 00:07:59,733
because I'm gonna call her,

209
00:07:59,735 --> 00:08:03,153
so I don't want to let her
know that you're all here.

210
00:08:03,155 --> 00:08:04,905
I'll put on speaker phone, hold on.

211
00:08:06,005 --> 00:08:08,185
You see.
(GIRL LAUGHS)

212
00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:09,757
Rosalind, could you
be quiet love please?

213
00:08:09,759 --> 00:08:11,127
Oh sorry Mike, it was just...

214
00:08:11,129 --> 00:08:11,960
Shh.
(GIRL WHISPERS)

215
00:08:11,962 --> 00:08:12,996
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Watch your mouth.

216
00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:15,330
Watch your mouth, my mum's there.

217
00:08:15,332 --> 00:08:17,013
- Hello.
- Hello darling,

218
00:08:17,015 --> 00:08:18,829
how are you sweetheart
on this day of days?

219
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,213
JENNY: Oh, I'm good,
I'm just driving home.

220
00:08:20,215 --> 00:08:23,074
Oh great, um, um now the thing is,

221
00:08:23,076 --> 00:08:26,523
I don't feel very well,
I feel a bit flu-y.

222
00:08:26,525 --> 00:08:28,353
I thought I'd just have a bath.

223
00:08:28,355 --> 00:08:29,227
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

224
00:08:29,229 --> 00:08:31,382
- What was that?
- Um, nothing,

225
00:08:31,384 --> 00:08:32,833
I've got the telly on in the background,

226
00:08:32,835 --> 00:08:35,253
I'll turn it down, I'm
turning it down, right.

227
00:08:35,255 --> 00:08:37,863
Yeah, I feel really really
rubbish at the moment,

228
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,503
I thought I'd just have
a nice sprint in the bath

229
00:08:39,505 --> 00:08:43,573
and maybe we can home
and give me a neck rub?

230
00:08:43,575 --> 00:08:46,803
And then we can watch some
football, some footie.

231
00:08:46,805 --> 00:08:48,130
JENNY: Wait, are you serious?

232
00:08:48,132 --> 00:08:48,963
Are we not going out tonight?

233
00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:51,203
Oh, I know it's your birthday,
and I did book a table,

234
00:08:51,205 --> 00:08:54,263
but I'm afraid I feel really rubbish.

235
00:08:54,265 --> 00:08:56,068
I feel crap, sorry.

236
00:08:56,971 --> 00:09:00,011
JENNY: Mike, you've
gotta be kidding me.

237
00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:01,842
Oh and can you bring some milk home?

238
00:09:01,844 --> 00:09:02,972
- (GUESTS LAUGHING)
- Could you could you

239
00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,414
I mean seriously you
want me to stop for milk?

240
00:09:05,416 --> 00:09:06,483
Could you stop for some milk,
yeah that would be lovely?

241
00:09:06,485 --> 00:09:09,223
So what are you about five minutes away?

242
00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:11,989
JENNY: Yeah, that's,
yeah, like five, 10 minutes.

243
00:09:11,991 --> 00:09:13,443
Thank you darling, I'll be in the bath.

244
00:09:13,445 --> 00:09:16,543
I'll see you later, love you,
bye, happy birthday, bye.

245
00:09:16,545 --> 00:09:18,294
- Of course.
- She's sunk.

246
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,456
- (GUESTS LAUGHING)
- That was hilarious.

247
00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:22,736
- (GUESTS TALKING)
- Well done Mikey.

248
00:09:22,738 --> 00:09:24,863
- Well done.
- Helen, that milk

249
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,414
- thing was genius.
- John does that to me

250
00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:28,563
- and I hate it.
- Does he?

251
00:09:28,565 --> 00:09:31,193
Nick, Nick Nick Nick,
yes, we're gonna go to,

252
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,233
Helen Charmaine's here, come and meet her,

253
00:09:33,235 --> 00:09:35,098
she's in the kitchen, yeah, goodbye.

254
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:38,863
Into the kitchen we go!

255
00:09:38,865 --> 00:09:40,082
Bonjour Charmaine!

256
00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:44,059
Oh Bonjour Monsieur Michael,

257
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,743
it is good to see you once again.

258
00:09:45,745 --> 00:09:47,163
And you merci beaucoup.

259
00:09:47,165 --> 00:09:49,003
This is the wonderful Charmaine.

260
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,491
She did John and Helen's weddings.

261
00:09:51,493 --> 00:09:53,732
- Charmaine.
- Oh, it is Helen.

262
00:09:53,734 --> 00:09:56,246
(WOMEN MAKE KISSING NOISES)

263
00:09:56,248 --> 00:09:57,564
Her food's unbelievable.

264
00:09:57,566 --> 00:09:59,375
Oh, it's so lovely to see you.

265
00:09:59,377 --> 00:10:01,389
Oh, this woman's vol-au-vents on a plate

266
00:10:01,391 --> 00:10:03,485
are the toast of the
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE).

267
00:10:03,487 --> 00:10:07,101
Oh, it is not rocket science madam.

268
00:10:07,103 --> 00:10:10,074
This is my au pairs, Tim and Samantha.

269
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,654
We've met Samantha, hi Tim.

270
00:10:11,656 --> 00:10:13,673
Mike, I've just been told
a car's pulled up outside.

271
00:10:13,675 --> 00:10:15,743
Thanks Andy, Nick come through with us.

272
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:16,595
NICK: Yes sir.

273
00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:20,313
All right, at your stations everybody.

274
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:23,043
Car's arriving, so here
we go Jenny's here.

275
00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:24,883
Jim, come with me down here.

276
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:25,993
Hide love, hide, Alan.

277
00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:27,661
- Yes get down.
- And girls.

278
00:10:27,663 --> 00:10:30,523
- Hide there mate.
- Hide.

279
00:10:30,525 --> 00:10:34,093
- Jenny's coming.
- Yes I know, marvellous.

280
00:10:34,095 --> 00:10:36,093
- Happy birthday Jenny!
- Yeah, we've done the

281
00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:38,403
we've done the toast,
now it's the surprise bit

282
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,973
- so we hide.
- I'm not sure

283
00:10:39,975 --> 00:10:41,428
what you're saying here.

284
00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:42,968
- I'm a little scared.
- Don't be scared Alan,

285
00:10:42,970 --> 00:10:45,982
we're gonna turn the
lights out, we'll all hide,

286
00:10:45,984 --> 00:10:47,503
she'll come in, we'll
surprise her and it'll be...

287
00:10:47,505 --> 00:10:50,573
- Oh fine.
- Okay, so right.

288
00:10:50,575 --> 00:10:51,408
That's it.

289
00:10:52,632 --> 00:10:54,703
Not that's not gonna work that cushion,

290
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,813
can you just get up and hide?

291
00:10:56,815 --> 00:10:57,646
Thank you so much.

292
00:10:57,648 --> 00:11:00,216
Okay, please turn the lights
out turn the lights out,

293
00:11:00,218 --> 00:11:02,836
pretend I'm upstairs in the bath.

294
00:11:02,838 --> 00:11:07,304
Okay, all right, have
fun everyone. (LAUGHS)

295
00:11:07,306 --> 00:11:10,306
(PEOPLE WHISPERING)

296
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,422
(DOOR BELL RINGS)

297
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:16,581
Andy will you get the door?

298
00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:17,416
Sure.

299
00:11:19,837 --> 00:11:22,020
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
(PEOPLE WHISPERING)

300
00:11:22,022 --> 00:11:24,571
- Shh.
- It's Mark and Clarissa.

301
00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:26,789
(PEOPLE GROANING)

302
00:11:26,791 --> 00:11:29,148
I'm sorry everyone I hope
we didn't spoil anything.

303
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:30,363
- (PEOPLE GROANING)
- Mark make way

304
00:11:30,365 --> 00:11:32,231
- make way as usual.
- Well I'm not

305
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:36,557
going all the way, oh wow,
and you people are genuine?

306
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:37,730
CROWD: Yes.

307
00:11:37,732 --> 00:11:39,838
She is going to love this.

308
00:11:40,955 --> 00:11:41,993
Everyone hide.

309
00:11:41,995 --> 00:11:44,943
Sorry Mike, they're picking
up the bloody road again mate.

310
00:11:44,945 --> 00:11:46,723
We didn't even move for 15 minutes.

311
00:11:46,725 --> 00:11:48,473
CLARISSA: I told
him to take the bypass.

312
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,086
No, you said you shouldn't take it.

313
00:11:50,088 --> 00:11:52,232
If I had driven, I would
have taken the bypass.

314
00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:54,443
Water mine, they dug it
two weeks ago you know.

315
00:11:54,445 --> 00:11:55,346
- Dad.
- There should be a way

316
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,233
that when they dig up the water mine

317
00:11:57,235 --> 00:11:59,633
they should actually get
the gas people involved.

318
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,093
Dad, could we just hide?

319
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,413
I was just saying because Mark was.

320
00:12:02,415 --> 00:12:04,243
Yeah, but Jenny's on
her way, surprise hide.

321
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,757
- Gotcha, gotcha.
- Yeah, all right.

322
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,883
Mark, now you're gonna be the cameraman,

323
00:12:08,885 --> 00:12:10,291
punishment for being late.

324
00:12:10,293 --> 00:12:11,182
- Oh not me.
- Yes.

325
00:12:11,184 --> 00:12:12,374
We won't be late next time.

326
00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:13,223
Yeah, well you were late too.

327
00:12:13,225 --> 00:12:14,769
Why don't you take the camera?

328
00:12:14,771 --> 00:12:17,096
Because Mike asked you
and because I don't want to.

329
00:12:17,098 --> 00:12:19,398
Unh, God, all right
then, but not all night.

330
00:12:21,872 --> 00:12:22,705
Unh.

331
00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:26,663
Ah Clarissa you look beautiful tonight.

332
00:12:26,665 --> 00:12:28,273
Thank you, how's that shoulder thing?

333
00:12:28,275 --> 00:12:31,244
Oh, it's fine thank you,
you are amazing, thanks.

334
00:12:31,246 --> 00:12:32,610
- Good.
- She's here, she's here.

335
00:12:32,612 --> 00:12:33,986
- Oh.
- She's just pulling up.

336
00:12:33,988 --> 00:12:36,773
Okay, Mark make sure you film everything

337
00:12:36,775 --> 00:12:39,763
in top quality action with
lots of sound and lighting.

338
00:12:39,765 --> 00:12:42,163
- Yeah, I'll do my best.
- Right.

339
00:12:42,165 --> 00:12:43,572
Okay everybody shush.

340
00:12:43,574 --> 00:12:46,888
Oh, I wonder where Alan is
he's completely disappeared.

341
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:48,896
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

342
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:51,083
Alan hide.

343
00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:52,985
- I am.
- No, but Alan,

344
00:12:52,987 --> 00:12:53,923
just because you can't see us

345
00:12:53,925 --> 00:12:55,968
doesn't mean we can't see you.

346
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:59,083
- I can see you.
- But we don't need

347
00:12:59,085 --> 00:12:59,918
to see you.

348
00:13:01,777 --> 00:13:03,173
Then why did you invite me then?

349
00:13:03,175 --> 00:13:04,481
I'm beginning to wonder.

350
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,393
Could you just hide properly somewhere?

351
00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:08,996
Mike, it's my knees, I've
got done behind the sofa

352
00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:10,523
when Mark and Clarissa came...

353
00:13:10,525 --> 00:13:12,913
Yes, but this is not a
surprise for Mark and Clarissa,

354
00:13:12,915 --> 00:13:14,983
it's a surprise for Jenny
who's outside the door.

355
00:13:14,985 --> 00:13:16,363
Fine, fine, whatever.

356
00:13:16,365 --> 00:13:19,302
Thank you right, okay
lights off everybody.

357
00:13:19,304 --> 00:13:20,545
- Shh, lights off, quiet.
- Stay quiet.

358
00:13:20,547 --> 00:13:22,380
Quiet, quiet, quiet.

359
00:13:23,231 --> 00:13:24,692
Lights off.

360
00:13:24,694 --> 00:13:25,604
(GUESTS TALKING)

361
00:13:25,606 --> 00:13:26,689
- Okay.
- Hello.

362
00:13:28,026 --> 00:13:29,908
- Shh.
- Mike?

363
00:13:30,785 --> 00:13:34,303
I'm angry just so you know
and also for not going out

364
00:13:34,305 --> 00:13:37,159
tonight I will be expecting
some mad sexual relations.

365
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:37,992
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

366
00:13:37,994 --> 00:13:38,825
Shh!

367
00:13:38,827 --> 00:13:40,733
All I'm saying, Mike, what the hell

368
00:13:40,735 --> 00:13:43,102
- are you doing down there?
- Surprise!

369
00:13:44,066 --> 00:13:49,066
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
(GUESTS CHEERING)

370
00:13:49,331 --> 00:13:51,023
Oh my God, what are you doing here?

371
00:13:51,025 --> 00:13:51,856
You surprised me!

372
00:13:51,858 --> 00:13:54,305
Oh my God, you guys, it's been so long.

373
00:13:54,307 --> 00:13:56,573
- It's been so long.
- Woo!

374
00:13:56,575 --> 00:13:58,631
- Mike!
- Happy birthday!

375
00:13:58,633 --> 00:13:59,522
- My God!
- I mean I could

376
00:13:59,524 --> 00:14:01,345
- be in the bath.
- Oh my God, shut up!

377
00:14:01,347 --> 00:14:02,629
We could be watching some footie!

378
00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:04,363
Oh my God, I was gonna
kill you, that milk thing,

379
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:07,273
- but I got it.
- Well that was Helen's idea.

380
00:14:07,275 --> 00:14:09,963
Oh Helen, oh my gosh, I was this close

381
00:14:09,965 --> 00:14:11,423
to pouring it over you I decided,

382
00:14:11,425 --> 00:14:13,963
but I went against it,
because now you did this.

383
00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:16,333
Thank you Samantha, Samantha, Samantha,

384
00:14:16,335 --> 00:14:18,330
- I've got another surprise.
- Another surprise.

385
00:14:18,332 --> 00:14:19,327
Here we go.
(GUESTS SHOUTING)

386
00:14:19,329 --> 00:14:23,160
Oh, there you go, my queen,

387
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,956
unless you prefer some milk.

388
00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:27,521
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

389
00:14:27,523 --> 00:14:28,532
No use crying over spilled milk. (LAUGHS)

390
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,365
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

391
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:30,433
Give us to her, there.

392
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:31,353
Hey Jenny, you know
we were all listening

393
00:14:31,355 --> 00:14:33,073
on the phone when you
were talking to Mike?

394
00:14:33,075 --> 00:14:33,906
- No you weren't.
- Yes we were.

395
00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:34,741
- Yes.
- Yeah.

396
00:14:35,652 --> 00:14:37,423
You're kidding, oh
my God, what if I said

397
00:14:37,425 --> 00:14:39,540
something about Ros, not that I would.

398
00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:42,043
I know you never would
and you two have been

399
00:14:42,045 --> 00:14:43,833
so great to me and Mike
you know I'm gonna make

400
00:14:43,835 --> 00:14:46,116
the best office manager you ever had.

401
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:48,454
Well, we'll see, we'll see.

402
00:14:48,456 --> 00:14:51,615
Your face when you
came in, we got you good.

403
00:14:51,617 --> 00:14:53,653
I thought it was so, you did I was angry

404
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:54,993
and you're lucky because
I thought I was coming

405
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,622
home to you in a bath with crappy food.

406
00:14:57,624 --> 00:14:59,265
- Ah.
- Hey you guys.

407
00:14:59,267 --> 00:15:01,424
Oh Jenny darling, here you are my love.

408
00:15:01,426 --> 00:15:02,257
- Ooh, you...
- No mom mom mom,

409
00:15:02,259 --> 00:15:03,283
we're gonna do presents later.

410
00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:04,808
I've worked it all out on a timetable.

411
00:15:04,810 --> 00:15:06,033
Later, no later please.

412
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,008
Okay, okay, well then I'm just gonna go.

413
00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:09,256
What do you mean you're gonna go?

414
00:15:09,258 --> 00:15:11,113
No, I'm just everybody's dressed up

415
00:15:11,115 --> 00:15:12,673
and looks so nice, I'm
just gonna go upstairs

416
00:15:12,675 --> 00:15:14,853
and change I'll be right back in five.

417
00:15:14,855 --> 00:15:17,173
You look beautiful the
way you are, come on.

418
00:15:17,175 --> 00:15:18,006
- Oh Jenny.
- It's easy for you

419
00:15:18,008 --> 00:15:20,076
to say when you're in a fancy dress.

420
00:15:20,078 --> 00:15:21,283
Don't be long, don't be long.

421
00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:23,703
I won't, I'll be right
back, thanks you guys.

422
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,030
She's taking the milk, she's got it.

423
00:15:26,032 --> 00:15:27,865
What is she Cleopatra?

424
00:15:29,686 --> 00:15:31,456
It did go well didn't it?

425
00:15:31,458 --> 00:15:32,463
- Thanks dad.
- She really did look

426
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:33,708
surprised, didn't she?

427
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:34,713
She did, I can relax.

428
00:15:34,715 --> 00:15:36,903
Mark, Mark, stop filming
me, film someone else.

429
00:15:36,905 --> 00:15:39,283
She sees me all day every day.

430
00:15:39,285 --> 00:15:40,803
MARK: Okay, fair
enough, how long's my stint

431
00:15:40,805 --> 00:15:42,583
- on the camera?
- Just keep filming

432
00:15:42,585 --> 00:15:43,783
a few stories and pass it on.

433
00:15:43,785 --> 00:15:45,003
- Okie dokie.
- Clarissa, Clarissa

434
00:15:45,005 --> 00:15:47,204
come and meet my mom and dad.

435
00:15:47,206 --> 00:15:49,956
(GUESTS TALKING)

436
00:15:51,179 --> 00:15:52,012
Clarissa.

437
00:15:54,299 --> 00:15:56,683
MARK: Hello, is that
you down there Alan?

438
00:15:56,685 --> 00:16:00,282
- Oh, is she here?
- Yeah, she's already got here

439
00:16:00,284 --> 00:16:01,623
and she's gonna get changed.

440
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,688
Oh, do you think you can
tell her when she gets back.

441
00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:06,891
MARK: Yeah, okay mate,
oh I think he's fucked.

442
00:16:06,893 --> 00:16:09,226
- All right, ladies.
- Hi come.

443
00:16:10,672 --> 00:16:14,409
MARK: Ladies, time for
some fun words about Jenny.

444
00:16:14,411 --> 00:16:17,023
Okay, it's lovely to see you Jenny.

445
00:16:17,025 --> 00:16:19,413
So lovely and you look
very beautiful as usual.

446
00:16:19,415 --> 00:16:20,903
- No, come on...
- So beautiful.

447
00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,933
Something funny, come on,
we're gonna watch this later.

448
00:16:22,935 --> 00:16:23,768
Oh.

449
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:29,539
I know, okay, okay the
time that we went camping

450
00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:32,403
and we were all so so drunk.

451
00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:35,363
We decided to go skinny dipping
and we take off our clothes.

452
00:16:35,365 --> 00:16:38,403
MARK: Yes, this is exactly
it, keep going, keep going.

453
00:16:38,405 --> 00:16:39,593
We take off our clothes.

454
00:16:39,595 --> 00:16:42,133
She's sitting in the bushes naked.

455
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,473
Totally slipped over.

456
00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:45,003
Poison ivy that she fell in.

457
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,265
- So her hoo ha
- Hoo hee.

458
00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:52,276
She's like come on down,
get me some minge there.

459
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:53,778
What's a hoo ha?

460
00:16:56,302 --> 00:16:57,473
You have to excuse our friend.

461
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:58,960
She fell on her head when she was a baby.

462
00:16:58,962 --> 00:17:02,105
Yeah, she did twice
a day for four years.

463
00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:04,813
Ah, stop it, I saw
you doing this movement

464
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,753
with your hands okay and
now I know that a hoo ha

465
00:17:07,755 --> 00:17:11,723
is a vagina and by the way a
ball doesn't drop on my head,

466
00:17:11,725 --> 00:17:14,043
I just never heard that word before.

467
00:17:14,045 --> 00:17:16,788
Cheers darling, you're
my very best friend.

468
00:17:18,139 --> 00:17:21,066
Cheers darling, have a
wonderful birthday you deserve it.

469
00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:21,967
- Bubbly.
- Right, well done, excellent.

470
00:17:21,969 --> 00:17:22,800
- Hoo ha.
- Hoo ha.

471
00:17:22,802 --> 00:17:25,284
- Excellent, excellent.
- Love you.

472
00:17:25,286 --> 00:17:27,530
MARK: Right, who have we got here?

473
00:17:27,532 --> 00:17:29,786
Ah, Enemy at the Gates.

474
00:17:29,788 --> 00:17:31,073
Enemy at the Gates.

475
00:17:31,075 --> 00:17:32,375
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

476
00:17:33,362 --> 00:17:34,493
Yeah, Grease.

477
00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:36,143
West Side Story.

478
00:17:36,145 --> 00:17:38,073
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

479
00:17:38,075 --> 00:17:39,343
Nah, that doesn't work.

480
00:17:39,345 --> 00:17:40,843
MARK: Come on, break it up.

481
00:17:40,845 --> 00:17:43,713
I need some stories about birthday girl.

482
00:17:43,715 --> 00:17:45,900
Jenny, happy birthday darling.

483
00:17:45,902 --> 00:17:46,772
Happy birthday darling,
couldn't have happened

484
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:50,815
- to a nicer girl.
- Happy birthday Jenny.

485
00:17:50,817 --> 00:17:52,933
Mark, come here.

486
00:17:52,935 --> 00:17:57,373
Yes, right now I've spent
many a happy evening

487
00:17:57,375 --> 00:18:00,803
with Mike and Jenny when
Jenny looked amazing,

488
00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:03,293
- 11-inch heel...
- Yeah, unbelievably gorgeous.

489
00:18:03,295 --> 00:18:07,760
Straight into a stained
glass window. (LAUGHS)

490
00:18:07,762 --> 00:18:08,593
Yeah, it was terrible.

491
00:18:08,595 --> 00:18:11,095
Ass over tit staggering
all over the place

492
00:18:11,097 --> 00:18:11,928
- like a baby gazelle...
- Yeah John, John

493
00:18:11,930 --> 00:18:14,893
that's really amusing, but
you think it's suitable

494
00:18:14,895 --> 00:18:16,983
- for a birthday memory?
- Yeah, because

495
00:18:16,985 --> 00:18:19,286
it's really amusing, that's
right, it's very funny.

496
00:18:19,288 --> 00:18:21,307
- It's a funny story for...
- Well, it's not really

497
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,323
- funny isn't it?
- It is very funny.

498
00:18:23,325 --> 00:18:25,363
Toilet rolls stuck up her nose,

499
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:29,053
blood stains all down
the front of her dress.

500
00:18:29,055 --> 00:18:31,883
She didn't give a bollocks.

501
00:18:31,885 --> 00:18:34,293
The only girl I know who's
got bigger balls than me,

502
00:18:34,295 --> 00:18:38,213
look at that.
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

503
00:18:38,215 --> 00:18:39,515
I think she's wonderful.

504
00:18:40,525 --> 00:18:42,075
I think you're wonderful Jenny.

505
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:45,768
When she's around, Mike's on cloud nine.

506
00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:51,376
She makes Mike very happy and
that's good enough for me.

507
00:18:51,378 --> 00:18:53,013
GUESTS: Ah.

508
00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:57,476
So happy birthday Jenny,
Every Which Way But Loose.

509
00:18:57,478 --> 00:19:00,373
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

510
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,425
MARK: Carry on with the tag lines.

511
00:19:02,427 --> 00:19:03,413
Fresh meat over here.

512
00:19:03,415 --> 00:19:06,246
Ah, Anna here, action as they say.

513
00:19:06,248 --> 00:19:09,938
- Ooh, very good.
- Hello, we're here, take one.

514
00:19:11,085 --> 00:19:13,273
We don't want to do any
bloopers or maybe we should.

515
00:19:13,275 --> 00:19:15,083
Sometimes the bloopers are the funniest

516
00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,635
part of the movie, aren't they?

517
00:19:17,993 --> 00:19:19,783
Say something nice to the camera.

518
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:24,197
Well, from us to you
Jenny, happy birthday.

519
00:19:24,199 --> 00:19:26,123
That was lovely, happy
birthday, she's a lovely girl,

520
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,327
- isn't she?
- She is.

521
00:19:27,329 --> 00:19:29,383
You're a lovely girl,
Jenny and I must say

522
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,508
it's very nice to meet a young
girl with such good manners.

523
00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:33,653
- It makes a change.
- And very pretty too.

524
00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:35,633
- It does make a change.
- It does make a change.

525
00:19:35,635 --> 00:19:38,293
But really I think we're
very glad that she makes

526
00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:40,073
our Michael so happy, aren't we?

527
00:19:40,075 --> 00:19:42,293
Thank you Jenny, we're really pleased

528
00:19:42,295 --> 00:19:44,103
that you make your Mike so happy.

529
00:19:44,105 --> 00:19:46,750
- Happy birthday my love.
- Happy birthday.

530
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,593
- Is that okay?
- Is that all right?

531
00:19:48,595 --> 00:19:50,533
Or do you want a take two?

532
00:19:50,535 --> 00:19:53,514
Or can we go back to our
trailer now? (LAUGHS)

533
00:19:53,516 --> 00:19:56,523
MARK: Yeah, I think
we got safely in the can.

534
00:19:56,525 --> 00:19:59,123
- All right, okay.
- Right, everyone hello.

535
00:19:59,125 --> 00:19:59,956
- Yes?
- Yes?

536
00:19:59,958 --> 00:20:01,353
MARK: I've done my
fair share of filming,

537
00:20:01,355 --> 00:20:03,823
- who's taking over?
- Mark, she's coming

538
00:20:03,825 --> 00:20:05,033
down the stairs, make sure you film her

539
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:08,789
coming down the stairs, oh my
goodness does she look lovely.

540
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:12,555
(GUESTS CHEERING AND HOLLERING)

541
00:20:12,557 --> 00:20:15,245
- Wow.
- Surprise!

542
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:18,080
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

543
00:20:19,862 --> 00:20:22,623
Alan, the surprise was
about half an hour ago.

544
00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:26,118
- She's...
- Oh, happy birthday Jenny.

545
00:20:27,335 --> 00:20:30,495
MARK: Hey Jenny, give
us a twirl birthday girl.

546
00:20:31,466 --> 00:20:33,266
- Go on, twirl girl.
- If you say so.

547
00:20:33,268 --> 00:20:35,402
- Woo!
- Hubba hubba.

548
00:20:35,404 --> 00:20:37,390
All right, less of the hubba hubba.

549
00:20:37,392 --> 00:20:38,943
All right, share your thoughts.

550
00:20:38,945 --> 00:20:41,206
She's not the one meant
to be telling the stories,

551
00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:42,183
because it's her birthday.

552
00:20:42,185 --> 00:20:43,103
- Yes, it's her birthday.
- We're supposed

553
00:20:43,105 --> 00:20:46,355
- to tell the stories.
- Present, present time.

554
00:20:47,391 --> 00:20:50,455
Mom, dad, which one's your present?

555
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:53,269
MOM: I've popped it on
the top there, right there.

556
00:20:53,271 --> 00:20:55,383
- Mmm.
- Ooh, I like the

557
00:20:55,385 --> 00:20:57,767
- nice box.
- Nice box.

558
00:20:57,769 --> 00:21:00,153
- Oh.
- Ah, here we go.

559
00:21:00,155 --> 00:21:01,218
Oh my gosh.

560
00:21:02,324 --> 00:21:04,342
(GASPS) Oh my gosh Anna, thank you.

561
00:21:05,443 --> 00:21:07,535
- Thank you so much.
- It's beautiful.

562
00:21:07,537 --> 00:21:09,793
It was my mothers and
she passed it on to me

563
00:21:09,795 --> 00:21:12,273
before she died and
well I thought you might

564
00:21:12,275 --> 00:21:15,460
get some use out of it and
it was just lying there

565
00:21:15,462 --> 00:21:17,705
- gathering dust, wasn't it?
- Yeah.

566
00:21:17,707 --> 00:21:19,793
Oh my gosh, no I'm so overwhelmed.

567
00:21:19,795 --> 00:21:22,400
- Thank you guys so much.
- Thank you so much.

568
00:21:22,402 --> 00:21:23,353
- Oh.
- It's a pleasure,

569
00:21:23,355 --> 00:21:25,443
- you enjoy it my love.
- Thank you, I'll be

570
00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:27,663
- putting that on later.
- Oh, I'll be taking it off.

571
00:21:27,665 --> 00:21:29,088
- Ah ha ha.
- Michael.

572
00:21:29,090 --> 00:21:32,181
- Sorry mother.
- That was embarrassing.

573
00:21:32,183 --> 00:21:34,175
- Yeah.
- What's next? (LAUGHS)

574
00:21:34,177 --> 00:21:35,008
- Let's do red envelope.
- Oh, this one?

575
00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,011
- That's it.
- That's from me.

576
00:21:37,013 --> 00:21:41,250
- Thank you John and Helen.
- It says tickets.

577
00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:45,388
International flight tickets,
oh my God, did you know?

578
00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:47,193
- No.
- My God, tickets

579
00:21:47,195 --> 00:21:49,133
to New York, first class tickets.

580
00:21:49,135 --> 00:21:50,753
- Wow.
- For four days.

581
00:21:50,755 --> 00:21:53,840
- Oh my gosh you guys.
- And there's tickets

582
00:21:53,842 --> 00:21:56,403
- for the...
- Madam Butterfly.

583
00:21:56,405 --> 00:21:57,397
- Madam Butterfly at the Met.
- Oh my gosh, it's profane.

584
00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:01,074
One night only, the 23rd, tickets.

585
00:22:01,076 --> 00:22:03,253
- Oh my gosh.
- We'll hold the fort,

586
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:05,463
you two just go and have a
bloody good time, all right.

587
00:22:05,465 --> 00:22:07,490
- Don't think about it.
- You deserve it.

588
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,679
- You deserve it.
- Oh no no no no.

589
00:22:09,681 --> 00:22:12,283
- Stop it.
- March the 23rd,

590
00:22:12,285 --> 00:22:14,308
- John I can't.
- Shut up, don't you dare

591
00:22:14,310 --> 00:22:17,802
- bail this time.
- I'm having a bath.

592
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,313
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

593
00:22:20,315 --> 00:22:21,573
- Very funny.
- He got me.

594
00:22:21,575 --> 00:22:23,423
I thought of you and what
you'd say and I said it.

595
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,928
We're going, don't worry.

596
00:22:26,375 --> 00:22:29,303
- John, it's my birthday.
- Crazy.

597
00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:31,550
- Yeah.
- This one in the middle.

598
00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:33,092
- From the girls.
- From us.

599
00:22:33,094 --> 00:22:34,121
- Wow.
- Actually, it's from me

600
00:22:34,123 --> 00:22:35,653
because I'm your best
friend and those girls

601
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:36,503
- just signed it.
- Oh I know,

602
00:22:36,505 --> 00:22:37,503
- of course sweetie.
- Oh now just stop.

603
00:22:37,505 --> 00:22:39,444
- That's not funny any more.
- No it's not.

604
00:22:39,446 --> 00:22:41,992
(LAUGHS) You did it before, stop.

605
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,793
- Tiff tiff.
- Yes, all of us.

606
00:22:44,795 --> 00:22:45,941
- Okay, can I open it?
- Yes.

607
00:22:45,943 --> 00:22:47,893
- Open it.
- You've been framed.

608
00:22:47,895 --> 00:22:50,248
- Oh my gosh.
- You've been framed.

609
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:54,222
- Oh my God, oh My God.
- You have been framed.

610
00:22:54,224 --> 00:22:56,675
- You have been framed.
- That's lovely.

611
00:22:56,677 --> 00:23:00,099
- Oh my God, it's my school.
- Yeah.

612
00:23:00,101 --> 00:23:02,060
Oh my God, we were so young.

613
00:23:02,062 --> 00:23:06,007
Old friends together, let
me just spring over here

614
00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:08,406
- and it's wrapped.
- Thank you Damien.

615
00:23:08,408 --> 00:23:10,083
DAMIEN: What do I give
the girl who has everything?

616
00:23:10,085 --> 00:23:10,916
- Socks.
- Socks.

617
00:23:10,918 --> 00:23:12,693
- This is true.
- Socks, that's what you got?

618
00:23:12,695 --> 00:23:14,213
- Socks?
- Yeah.

619
00:23:14,215 --> 00:23:18,063
Oh, who is this big baby from?

620
00:23:18,065 --> 00:23:21,004
- I'll take that.
- Guilty as charged.

621
00:23:21,006 --> 00:23:23,060
- Thank you Alan.
- Ah, yes.

622
00:23:23,062 --> 00:23:25,670
- It's giant.
- It's huge.

623
00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:26,544
- What is it?
- I don't know.

624
00:23:26,546 --> 00:23:29,120
- Open it.
- It's mine.

625
00:23:29,122 --> 00:23:31,864
MARK: Could one of you just
take the camera for a bit?

626
00:23:31,866 --> 00:23:34,008
No not me, I'm so bad at
camera don't give it to me.

627
00:23:34,010 --> 00:23:35,223
Sofia is good at camera.

628
00:23:35,225 --> 00:23:37,832
No no no I am really bad on camera.

629
00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:40,703
What make you think
that I'm good on camera?

630
00:23:40,705 --> 00:23:42,538
No no no, I'm sorry.

631
00:23:43,712 --> 00:23:44,905
- Bloody toilet.
- Alan, this is fabulous.

632
00:23:44,907 --> 00:23:46,751
- Thank you.
- What what what what?

633
00:23:46,753 --> 00:23:49,533
- I need the bloody toilet.
- Well just go you big

634
00:23:49,535 --> 00:23:51,393
- girl's blouse.
- Yeah and what am I

635
00:23:51,395 --> 00:23:53,113
- gonna do with the camera?
- Well give it to

636
00:23:53,115 --> 00:23:56,722
- someone else, for God's sakes.
- Clarissa.

637
00:23:56,724 --> 00:23:58,343
Clarissa, hey come here a minute.

638
00:23:58,345 --> 00:24:00,248
JENNY: We can open it now?

639
00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:02,703
- I'll open it now.
- Sorry toast.

640
00:24:02,705 --> 00:24:04,270
MARK: Darling, can you
take the camera just for

641
00:24:04,272 --> 00:24:05,623
a couple of minutes, I really need to pee.

642
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,353
I hate being the one doing the camera.

643
00:24:07,355 --> 00:24:08,783
You never get to see what goes on.

644
00:24:08,785 --> 00:24:10,183
It's like you're not really there,

645
00:24:10,185 --> 00:24:11,303
like it's just a TV show.

646
00:24:11,305 --> 00:24:13,893
MARK: Just for two
minutes, I'm dying for a pee.

647
00:24:13,895 --> 00:24:16,203
Why did you say hubba hubba to Jenny

648
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:17,253
when she walked in a red dress?

649
00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:19,373
MARK: What, can you just
take the camera please?

650
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:22,438
- No, I don't want to.
- Oh, for fuck's sake.

651
00:24:24,466 --> 00:24:28,414
I'm not doing this all bloody night.

652
00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:31,499
I'm not doing this all fucking night.

653
00:24:33,312 --> 00:24:35,979
Fucking cow, no I don't want to.

654
00:24:37,104 --> 00:24:37,937
Fuck me.

655
00:24:44,834 --> 00:24:46,766
- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
- Mark are you in there?

656
00:24:46,768 --> 00:24:49,532
I'm having a pee,
I'll be out in a minute.

657
00:24:49,534 --> 00:24:52,506
- (URINE TRICKLING)
- What are you doing?

658
00:24:52,508 --> 00:24:55,658
I just said, I'm having
a pee, I'm mid-flow.

659
00:24:58,215 --> 00:25:00,992
CLARISSA: Did you bring
Jenny's gift from us?

660
00:25:00,994 --> 00:25:03,463
I didn't bring it in, I was driving.

661
00:25:03,465 --> 00:25:04,648
It was on your lap, remember?

662
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,793
CLARISSA: You think
it's still in the car?

663
00:25:09,795 --> 00:25:11,363
Well, if you didn't bring it in

664
00:25:11,365 --> 00:25:14,553
and I didn't bring it in, then
there's a pretty good chance

665
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:18,426
that yeah, it's still in
the car where you left it.

666
00:25:18,428 --> 00:25:21,153
- (URINE TRICKLING)
- Could you bring it in

667
00:25:21,155 --> 00:25:23,346
- from the car?
- And you can't go

668
00:25:23,348 --> 00:25:26,783
- and get it because darling?
- I'm talking to Jenny

669
00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:29,527
and trying to enjoy the
party like I want to.

670
00:25:29,529 --> 00:25:31,763
Oh, I see and I'm not
trying to enjoy the party,

671
00:25:31,765 --> 00:25:33,963
obviously, I'm trying to
have a shit fucking time,

672
00:25:33,965 --> 00:25:35,723
so I'll be delighted
to go and get the gift

673
00:25:35,725 --> 00:25:37,343
that you left in the fucking car

674
00:25:37,345 --> 00:25:39,864
that you don't fucking want to get.

675
00:25:39,866 --> 00:25:41,213
- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
- I know you are saying

676
00:25:41,215 --> 00:25:43,113
mean things, can you get the gift?

677
00:25:43,115 --> 00:25:45,668
Okay, I'll go and get it in a second.

678
00:25:46,537 --> 00:25:48,553
- (URINE TRICKLING)
- Can you get it now?

679
00:25:48,555 --> 00:25:49,926
Now, of course now, I have piss running

680
00:25:49,928 --> 00:25:52,583
down my fucking legs, but that's all fine,

681
00:25:52,585 --> 00:25:54,494
because you want Jenny's fucking gift.

682
00:25:54,496 --> 00:25:55,327
- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
- Mark!

683
00:25:55,329 --> 00:25:57,304
Which you forgot was
on your own fucking lap.

684
00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,139
- Mark!
- Coming honey.

685
00:26:00,641 --> 00:26:03,391
(TOILET FLUSHES)

686
00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:07,533
(WATER SPRINKLES)

687
00:26:08,588 --> 00:26:10,588
(SIGHS)

688
00:26:18,029 --> 00:26:19,741
For fuck's sake.

689
00:26:19,743 --> 00:26:22,493
(GUESTS TALKING)

690
00:26:29,144 --> 00:26:30,883
(DOOR CREAKS)

691
00:26:30,885 --> 00:26:33,635
(GUESTS TALKING)

692
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:42,676
(SNIFFS)

693
00:26:42,678 --> 00:26:46,382
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)

694
00:26:46,384 --> 00:26:49,134
(COUPLE MOANING)

695
00:26:53,565 --> 00:26:55,943
Fuck, I've been dying to do that.

696
00:26:55,945 --> 00:26:57,513
- Me too.
- Why didn't you tell

697
00:26:57,515 --> 00:27:00,194
- me about this?
- Well, oh the surprise?

698
00:27:00,196 --> 00:27:01,824
- Mm-hmm.
- Because it's a surprise.

699
00:27:01,826 --> 00:27:03,235
- Mm-hmm.
- It's nice for you

700
00:27:03,237 --> 00:27:05,784
- to have a surprise party.
- I know, but Damien socks?

701
00:27:05,786 --> 00:27:07,681
Oh, don't mention it
babe, don't mention it.

702
00:27:07,683 --> 00:27:08,514
- (LAUGHS) Shut up.
- Don't mention it.

703
00:27:08,516 --> 00:27:11,375
You want something soft.

704
00:27:11,377 --> 00:27:13,323
No I want something big and real.

705
00:27:13,325 --> 00:27:15,045
I'll give you something big and real.

706
00:27:15,047 --> 00:27:17,121
- Mmm.
- Something very big.

707
00:27:17,123 --> 00:27:19,123
- Mmm.
- Very, very real.

708
00:27:20,863 --> 00:27:21,711
(LAUGHS)

709
00:27:21,713 --> 00:27:22,853
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

710
00:27:22,855 --> 00:27:24,882
MIKE: Sorry, Jenny are you in there?

711
00:27:25,775 --> 00:27:28,736
- Yeah, just be a sec.
- I just want to know

712
00:27:28,738 --> 00:27:33,738
- is the camera in there?
- Um, yeah it's in here.

713
00:27:34,075 --> 00:27:36,483
MIKE: Oh could you pass it out please?

714
00:27:36,485 --> 00:27:37,543
Yeah.

715
00:27:37,545 --> 00:27:39,545
MIKE: Sorry to disturb you, I know...

716
00:27:44,595 --> 00:27:45,771
- Oh hello.
- Hi.

717
00:27:45,773 --> 00:27:47,503
- Thanks.
- You do know

718
00:27:47,505 --> 00:27:48,543
you're missing you're own party?

719
00:27:48,545 --> 00:27:50,183
Yeah, I know, it'll just be a sec.

720
00:27:50,185 --> 00:27:51,908
Okay, right, see you bye.

721
00:27:52,765 --> 00:27:56,078
Let's take a little wander through here.

722
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,037
Ooh, hello, hello everyone.

723
00:27:58,039 --> 00:27:59,866
- Hey.
- Hey.

724
00:27:59,868 --> 00:28:01,553
- Woo.
- Hey happy birthday Jenny.

725
00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:03,910
- Yes.
- Happy birthday boss.

726
00:28:03,912 --> 00:28:05,863
MIKE: No, it's Jenny's birthday Nick.

727
00:28:05,865 --> 00:28:07,096
Yeah, that's right,
happy birthday Jenny.

728
00:28:07,098 --> 00:28:09,753
MIKE: Yep, right okay,
spill your drink why not?

729
00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:11,853
Look at that, that is
red velvet under there,

730
00:28:11,855 --> 00:28:15,053
that is Jenny's favourite, oh dad dad,

731
00:28:15,055 --> 00:28:16,473
do some filming, go on.

732
00:28:16,475 --> 00:28:18,224
I don't know if I'm very
good at this sort of thing.

733
00:28:18,226 --> 00:28:19,703
- Oh, it's all right.
- Oh go on.

734
00:28:19,705 --> 00:28:20,723
Have a go Peter, it's not that difficult.

735
00:28:20,725 --> 00:28:22,683
- How does it work then?
- They're modern cameras,

736
00:28:22,685 --> 00:28:24,083
you just point them and shoot.

737
00:28:24,085 --> 00:28:25,836
It'll be fine, have a go, go on.

738
00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:27,803
- You all right mom?
- Yes of course,

739
00:28:27,805 --> 00:28:28,826
- why wouldn't I be?
- Well, it's lovely

740
00:28:28,828 --> 00:28:30,843
- what you just did.
- Ah, what?

741
00:28:30,845 --> 00:28:33,503
Well you know you gave
Jenny granny's necklace.

742
00:28:33,505 --> 00:28:35,704
Oh well she's gonna be one
of the family, isn't she?

743
00:28:35,706 --> 00:28:37,048
Yeah, that's right.

744
00:28:37,050 --> 00:28:38,733
So what do you think of
Charmaine's lovely cake.

745
00:28:38,735 --> 00:28:41,653
MOM: I'm very interested
to know if it tastes

746
00:28:41,655 --> 00:28:43,808
- as good as it looks.
- Oh, right, okay.

747
00:28:43,810 --> 00:28:46,423
But mom, you like Jenny, don't you?

748
00:28:46,425 --> 00:28:47,480
Oh, of course I do, do you think

749
00:28:47,482 --> 00:28:50,311
I'd give her my favourite
necklace if I didn't like her?

750
00:28:50,313 --> 00:28:52,953
Well, so here we are
the cake is in lovely

751
00:28:52,955 --> 00:28:55,563
vivid red and white, for
those who are watching

752
00:28:55,565 --> 00:28:58,606
at home in black and white,
the pink is next to the brain.

753
00:28:58,608 --> 00:29:00,590
- (LAUGHS)
- Is that David Corman?

754
00:29:00,592 --> 00:29:02,453
- No.
- No, it's Ted Lowe dad.

755
00:29:02,455 --> 00:29:03,733
- Oh yes.
- Snoopdar.

756
00:29:03,735 --> 00:29:05,693
- Keep up, Peter, keep up.
- Take the camera through

757
00:29:05,695 --> 00:29:08,178
and then we're gonna
open some more presies.

758
00:29:08,180 --> 00:29:12,144
All right, where is the birthday girl?

759
00:29:12,146 --> 00:29:14,383
There she is, let's go through some of the

760
00:29:14,385 --> 00:29:15,823
opening these presents.

761
00:29:15,825 --> 00:29:17,641
Sorry ladies, can we just have the sofa...

762
00:29:17,643 --> 00:29:18,835
- Of course.
- For two seconds

763
00:29:18,837 --> 00:29:20,533
to open the presies?

764
00:29:20,535 --> 00:29:24,233
Thank you, now this is an obvious
champagne-colored present.

765
00:29:24,235 --> 00:29:25,700
Who is this form?

766
00:29:25,702 --> 00:29:27,043
Oh, that one's from me, Mike.

767
00:29:27,045 --> 00:29:28,573
Oh, Andy excellent thank you.

768
00:29:28,575 --> 00:29:32,233
Pete, I think you've done
your stint now, let's swap.

769
00:29:32,235 --> 00:29:33,532
- Yeah, yeah?
- You've excelled yourself.

770
00:29:33,534 --> 00:29:34,365
- Don't mind if I do.
- So thank you.

771
00:29:34,367 --> 00:29:35,198
Good good good good.

772
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,700
- What is it?
- Oh.

773
00:29:39,143 --> 00:29:41,846
Ooh, it's a wine bottle opener.

774
00:29:41,848 --> 00:29:44,323
It's an electric wine bottle opener.

775
00:29:44,325 --> 00:29:46,133
Thank you Andy, that's lovely.

776
00:29:46,135 --> 00:29:48,131
CLARISSA: Here girl, you know this one.

777
00:29:48,133 --> 00:29:49,540
Oh, thank you Clarissa, did you,

778
00:29:49,542 --> 00:29:52,313
- did you want to wait for Mark?
- No, it's okay.

779
00:29:52,315 --> 00:29:55,278
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

780
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,033
- It's from us?
- Yes, I left it

781
00:29:58,035 --> 00:29:59,913
- on the table ages ago.
- So I didn't need

782
00:29:59,915 --> 00:30:02,033
- to go to the car.
- I just told you

783
00:30:02,035 --> 00:30:03,768
I left it on the table ages ago.

784
00:30:06,228 --> 00:30:07,386
MARK: I was out there
getting the present

785
00:30:07,388 --> 00:30:09,587
and Jenny's opened it without me?

786
00:30:09,589 --> 00:30:10,963
- Stop making a fuss.
- Well you could have

787
00:30:10,965 --> 00:30:13,093
- just waited for me.
- She didn't want to.

788
00:30:13,095 --> 00:30:15,845
(GUESTS TALKING)

789
00:30:19,457 --> 00:30:24,457
(CHANGE CLINKING)
(FOOTSTEPS ECHOING)

790
00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:36,168
Come on, come on, come on, come on,

791
00:30:37,055 --> 00:30:39,105
Jesus what is the matter with this thing?

792
00:30:41,899 --> 00:30:43,899
(GASPS)

793
00:30:46,437 --> 00:30:47,968
- Hey.
- Hey.

794
00:30:47,970 --> 00:30:48,876
- Is it gone?
- Nah, it's impossible

795
00:30:48,878 --> 00:30:51,973
it's as if it's been
fused shut and melted.

796
00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:53,170
None of the fucking buttons work

797
00:30:53,172 --> 00:30:56,961
and I can't get this fucking flap to open.

798
00:30:56,963 --> 00:30:58,993
Okay, how did this happen?

799
00:30:58,995 --> 00:31:02,083
- Fucking Scottish tosser.
- What?

800
00:31:02,085 --> 00:31:03,593
The Scottish guy at the camera place,

801
00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:05,423
he slipped us this camera
for a couple hundred quid,

802
00:31:05,425 --> 00:31:07,193
asshole sold us a piece of shit.

803
00:31:07,195 --> 00:31:09,873
Oh God, okay, well I am not
going to be covering it up

804
00:31:09,875 --> 00:31:12,020
next to Mike on the couch
watching you and I going at it

805
00:31:12,022 --> 00:31:14,313
in the bathroom, so fix it.

806
00:31:14,315 --> 00:31:16,353
Okay, okay, but you're
happy cuddling up with Mike

807
00:31:16,355 --> 00:31:17,991
- watching other things?
- What the hell is

808
00:31:17,993 --> 00:31:18,824
- that supposed to mean?
- You know exactly

809
00:31:18,826 --> 00:31:19,943
what it means.

810
00:31:19,945 --> 00:31:22,043
At the end of tonight, I go home alone.

811
00:31:22,045 --> 00:31:25,653
You and Mike as usual cuddling
in on this fucking bed.

812
00:31:25,655 --> 00:31:26,843
Okay, Damien, calm down.

813
00:31:26,845 --> 00:31:29,423
We need to worry about this
camera situation first, okay,

814
00:31:29,425 --> 00:31:31,423
just everybody's downstairs at the party,

815
00:31:31,425 --> 00:31:33,883
Mike's wondering where I am, where we are.

816
00:31:33,885 --> 00:31:36,813
This looks weird, we'll just
stash it somewhere in here,

817
00:31:36,815 --> 00:31:39,333
- come back, deal with it later.
- Yeah, yeah, fine.

818
00:31:39,335 --> 00:31:41,193
If anybody asks we
saw Mark with it last.

819
00:31:41,195 --> 00:31:43,653
- Mark, right, Mark.
- Just give it to me.

820
00:31:43,655 --> 00:31:46,663
This is ridiculous, totally ridiculous,

821
00:31:46,665 --> 00:31:48,963
Jesus I hate surprise parties.

822
00:31:48,965 --> 00:31:52,148
Look, I'll go downstairs first,
you wait 20, then come down.

823
00:32:03,142 --> 00:32:06,753
(FOOTSTEPS CREAKING)

824
00:32:06,755 --> 00:32:09,448
Only me, just need a pee.

825
00:32:11,074 --> 00:32:13,241
(HUMMING)

826
00:32:14,628 --> 00:32:15,461
Oh.

827
00:32:16,883 --> 00:32:19,383
(WHISTLING)

828
00:32:19,385 --> 00:32:21,043
Oh.

829
00:32:21,045 --> 00:32:22,573
What have we here?

830
00:32:22,575 --> 00:32:25,533
Holiday snaps, nice.

831
00:32:25,535 --> 00:32:30,535
Jenny in a bikini, very nice, ho ho ho.

832
00:32:32,937 --> 00:32:37,937
Oh, um let's just close the door and...

833
00:32:42,308 --> 00:32:45,225
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

834
00:32:51,751 --> 00:32:55,523
- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
- Who's in there?

835
00:32:55,525 --> 00:32:57,553
- It's Nick.
- Well what are you

836
00:32:57,555 --> 00:33:00,833
doing up here this is our own suite?

837
00:33:00,835 --> 00:33:05,003
Nothing, I'm not whack,
wasn't doing anything really.

838
00:33:05,005 --> 00:33:07,993
The toilet was busy down
there, so I came up here,

839
00:33:07,995 --> 00:33:10,293
I'm sorry boss I'll be right out.

840
00:33:10,295 --> 00:33:13,113
- Is the camera in there?
- The camera?

841
00:33:13,115 --> 00:33:13,948
No.

842
00:33:18,725 --> 00:33:19,658
Yes.

843
00:33:20,555 --> 00:33:25,555
The camera is in here
pointing right at me actually.

844
00:33:25,585 --> 00:33:29,263
- Can you pass it out please?
- Yeah, sure, I'll pass

845
00:33:29,265 --> 00:33:31,531
the camera right out now.

846
00:33:31,533 --> 00:33:35,213
- And wash your hands first.
- Yes boss.

847
00:33:35,215 --> 00:33:36,358
Sorry boss.

848
00:33:38,245 --> 00:33:39,565
Oh fuck, shit.

849
00:33:41,582 --> 00:33:42,788
Fucking shit.

850
00:33:42,790 --> 00:33:45,886
(WATER TRINKLING)

851
00:33:45,888 --> 00:33:47,805
What the fuck am I gonna do?

852
00:33:47,807 --> 00:33:48,640
Fuck.

853
00:33:51,022 --> 00:33:52,598
Jesus.

854
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,517
(OBJECTS RATTLING)

855
00:33:56,665 --> 00:33:58,383
Nick, why do you think
this is the second time

856
00:33:58,385 --> 00:34:01,093
I've had to retrieve this
camera from a bathroom?

857
00:34:01,095 --> 00:34:03,053
- I dunno, boss, beats me.
- Well, I don't want

858
00:34:03,055 --> 00:34:05,273
to see you up here again, this is private.

859
00:34:05,275 --> 00:34:08,273
Now I don't care if your
bladder is about to burst.

860
00:34:08,275 --> 00:34:11,098
You stay downstairs, right?

861
00:34:12,515 --> 00:34:14,933
Oh, if I find out you've
done a number two in there,

862
00:34:14,935 --> 00:34:19,113
you can kiss your Christmas
bonus goodbye and give me that.

863
00:34:19,115 --> 00:34:21,915
I didn't do a number
two, it was a number one.

864
00:34:21,917 --> 00:34:25,563
Jeesh, look, I won't do it again.

865
00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:27,633
I mean I will do it
again, but I won't do it

866
00:34:27,635 --> 00:34:30,343
- in your own suite.
- Too much information.

867
00:34:30,345 --> 00:34:33,453
- Thank you, oh Rosalind.
- Yeah?

868
00:34:33,455 --> 00:34:34,873
- It's your turn.
- Oh no no.

869
00:34:34,875 --> 00:34:36,103
- I won't be very good.
- Yes yes yes.

870
00:34:36,105 --> 00:34:38,568
Take the camera and point it at people.

871
00:34:38,570 --> 00:34:40,682
Now please don't leave it in the bathroom.

872
00:34:40,684 --> 00:34:42,433
- Right.
- Good luck.

873
00:34:42,435 --> 00:34:43,893
Thanks.

874
00:34:43,895 --> 00:34:48,263
Okay then, so this is the hallway

875
00:34:48,265 --> 00:34:51,613
and oh this is my favourite
picture of the two of you,

876
00:34:51,615 --> 00:34:54,013
you both look so in love and beautiful.

877
00:34:54,015 --> 00:34:55,963
Rosalind I think you'll find that if you

878
00:34:55,965 --> 00:34:59,230
turn the camera, right around like that

879
00:34:59,232 --> 00:35:00,890
and now you're recording.

880
00:35:00,892 --> 00:35:01,903
- Oh.
- Okay?

881
00:35:01,905 --> 00:35:02,893
- Yes.
- All right.

882
00:35:02,895 --> 00:35:04,388
- Thanks.
- No problem.

883
00:35:05,358 --> 00:35:08,644
ROSALIND: Now we're
headed to the living room

884
00:35:08,646 --> 00:35:10,165
and this is where everybody is

885
00:35:12,105 --> 00:35:14,613
and oh here's Mike's
mom and dad, say hello.

886
00:35:14,615 --> 00:35:15,743
- Hello.
- Hello.

887
00:35:15,745 --> 00:35:17,323
We've done our bit, but we can go again.

888
00:35:17,325 --> 00:35:18,156
Take two.

889
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,893
ROSALIND: Oh no no
no, that's all right.

890
00:35:19,895 --> 00:35:20,865
- Okay, anyways.
- Happy to oblige.

891
00:35:20,867 --> 00:35:22,440
- Have one of those.
- There's my inseparable,

892
00:35:22,442 --> 00:35:25,103
go and have a word with her, see if she's

893
00:35:25,105 --> 00:35:27,633
got a little birthday
message for our Jenny.

894
00:35:27,635 --> 00:35:29,173
- The table the whole time.
- And?

895
00:35:29,175 --> 00:35:31,659
And you sent me to
the car and then opened

896
00:35:31,661 --> 00:35:33,201
the gift while I wasn't there.

897
00:35:33,203 --> 00:35:34,123
- And?
- And you don't think

898
00:35:34,125 --> 00:35:36,045
- that deserves an apology?
- Why would I apologise

899
00:35:36,047 --> 00:35:37,597
- to you?
- Right, I just want

900
00:35:37,599 --> 00:35:40,083
an apology and I want one now.

901
00:35:40,085 --> 00:35:41,673
No, I don't want to.

902
00:35:41,675 --> 00:35:43,623
You can fucking apologise or...

903
00:35:43,625 --> 00:35:45,193
Or what?

904
00:35:45,195 --> 00:35:48,283
Or I'll tell Mike the
reason he grew tits last year

905
00:35:48,285 --> 00:35:50,245
was because you prescribed pathosolimene

906
00:35:50,247 --> 00:35:51,183
instead of bethasolibede.

907
00:35:51,185 --> 00:35:53,063
I get confused.

908
00:35:53,065 --> 00:35:54,843
You're a fucking doctor.

909
00:35:54,845 --> 00:35:56,123
They sound the same to me.

910
00:35:56,125 --> 00:35:58,753
Look it wasn't a big deal,
Mike didn't even complain.

911
00:35:58,755 --> 00:36:01,283
He was probably too busy
looking for a decent bra

912
00:36:01,285 --> 00:36:03,478
to cope with his
ever-growing fucking tits.

913
00:36:04,525 --> 00:36:06,593
Look Mark, I'm really tired.

914
00:36:06,595 --> 00:36:09,528
Can we please go home and go
to bed and be friends again?

915
00:36:10,715 --> 00:36:12,498
No, I don't want to.

916
00:36:14,513 --> 00:36:17,808
ROSALIND: Oh, uh uh,
birthday messages for Jenny?

917
00:36:19,965 --> 00:36:21,915
Tell you what, I'll come back in a bit.

918
00:36:23,015 --> 00:36:25,243
So yeah, back to the living room

919
00:36:25,245 --> 00:36:30,245
and let's find oh Jenny, say hello Jenny.

920
00:36:30,815 --> 00:36:32,243
What the hell is that
camera doing in here?

921
00:36:32,245 --> 00:36:33,653
ROSALIND: Oh Mike asked me.

922
00:36:33,655 --> 00:36:37,023
Damien, Damien's good on camera.

923
00:36:37,025 --> 00:36:38,285
- Excuse me.
- Oh no no, it's fine.

924
00:36:38,287 --> 00:36:39,473
I'm enjoying myself.

925
00:36:39,475 --> 00:36:42,281
I have a little tale to
tell if now's the right time.

926
00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:43,296
- Oh no, it's not really.
- As you, oh please don't.

927
00:36:43,298 --> 00:36:46,773
As you know I have known Mike,
Jenny for about three years.

928
00:36:46,775 --> 00:36:48,733
- Excellent, good story.
- Mike, excuse me,

929
00:36:48,735 --> 00:36:51,513
Mike was particularly
interested in a rather stunning

930
00:36:51,515 --> 00:36:54,023
splatter piece by Gambol Porter,

931
00:36:54,025 --> 00:36:55,993
very taxing upon him and
he brought Jenny along

932
00:36:55,995 --> 00:36:59,373
to view the piece, yes and
do you know what she said?

933
00:36:59,375 --> 00:37:00,843
No, I don't, I'm sure
it was really funny.

934
00:37:00,845 --> 00:37:01,970
- Easy, easy.
- Good one, good one.

935
00:37:01,972 --> 00:37:04,935
Yes, yes, what she said
was she turned to Mike

936
00:37:06,255 --> 00:37:09,453
she turned to Mike and she
said serious face, mind you,

937
00:37:09,455 --> 00:37:13,503
Mike why don't I fix you a beef in the loo

938
00:37:13,505 --> 00:37:16,594
and you can blast out your
very own in the morning?

939
00:37:16,596 --> 00:37:18,835
(ROSALIND LAUGHS)
That's when I knew

940
00:37:18,837 --> 00:37:21,250
she was a keeper you see because

941
00:37:21,252 --> 00:37:24,711
Gambol Porter's paintings are shit.

942
00:37:24,713 --> 00:37:27,148
(LAUGHS) Happy birthday Jenny.

943
00:37:27,150 --> 00:37:30,253
- Vol-au-vent?
- Oh, don't mind if I do.

944
00:37:30,255 --> 00:37:32,373
Yeah, good one, Alan, good one.

945
00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:35,993
Well done, Rosalind, I think
let the expert take over now.

946
00:37:35,995 --> 00:37:37,483
You know you've done your bit.

947
00:37:37,485 --> 00:37:39,623
Oh, I was enjoying that.

948
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:42,633
Excuse me, everyone could
I have your attention please

949
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:46,173
for just one last time, thank you.

950
00:37:46,175 --> 00:37:48,923
I'm ready for my closeup Mr. Deville.

951
00:37:48,925 --> 00:37:51,713
- How's that, how's that?
- Just do a closeup on me.

952
00:37:51,715 --> 00:37:55,933
Okay, right, everybody well obviously,

953
00:37:55,935 --> 00:38:00,935
it's a special day for my
beloved, happy birthday.

954
00:38:02,145 --> 00:38:05,880
We've been together for four
years now, is that right?

955
00:38:05,882 --> 00:38:08,293
And I have to say they are

956
00:38:08,295 --> 00:38:10,810
the happiest four years of my life.

957
00:38:10,812 --> 00:38:11,698
- (GUESTS COOING)
- Changed him, changed him.

958
00:38:12,976 --> 00:38:16,533
And I thought I was okay,
but the business I thought

959
00:38:16,535 --> 00:38:18,133
was doing really well, wasn't it John?

960
00:38:18,135 --> 00:38:19,893
Right, you bloody lucky
when you fell in with me,

961
00:38:19,895 --> 00:38:21,493
didn't you boy?
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

962
00:38:21,495 --> 00:38:23,193
I mean I'm the brains of the operation,

963
00:38:23,195 --> 00:38:24,684
as well as the good looking one.

964
00:38:24,686 --> 00:38:27,856
Thanks John, thanks
John, Jenny will you just

965
00:38:27,858 --> 00:38:29,605
- come and sit down here?
- Yeah.

966
00:38:30,702 --> 00:38:33,653
Before I met you, I
just felt that something

967
00:38:33,655 --> 00:38:37,038
was missing from my life and
then I realised it was you,

968
00:38:38,088 --> 00:38:42,473
so I'd just like to say thank
you for sharing my life.

969
00:38:42,475 --> 00:38:45,873
- Happy birthday again and...
- Ooh.

970
00:38:45,875 --> 00:38:49,489
- Oh look.
- Will you marry me?

971
00:38:49,491 --> 00:38:52,713
Oh, I don't know what to say.

972
00:38:52,715 --> 00:38:55,458
Well most guys are hoping
for a yes right about now.

973
00:38:56,790 --> 00:38:58,440
- Yes Mike, yes.
- Oh wonderful.

974
00:38:59,859 --> 00:39:02,145
- (GUESTS CLAPPING)
- Love you so much.

975
00:39:02,147 --> 00:39:04,527
Me too.
(GUESTS TALKING)

976
00:39:04,529 --> 00:39:05,779
- Wow.
- Oh yes.

977
00:39:07,969 --> 00:39:10,245
- Hold this for me.
- Oh, okay.

978
00:39:10,247 --> 00:39:13,333
- I don't really.
- Let's just say

979
00:39:13,335 --> 00:39:15,713
a few words to the happy couple.

980
00:39:15,715 --> 00:39:18,413
Guys, if you could just
raise your glasses,

981
00:39:18,415 --> 00:39:21,413
yeah and I'd just like to say cheers.

982
00:39:21,415 --> 00:39:22,543
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

983
00:39:22,545 --> 00:39:26,503
And I hope you will be very happy!

984
00:39:26,505 --> 00:39:28,034
- Yay!
- Woo!

985
00:39:28,036 --> 00:39:31,803
- Yay!
- No no, Damien, Damien.

986
00:39:31,805 --> 00:39:32,853
No no no, you can't leave me with this,

987
00:39:32,855 --> 00:39:35,572
- I don't know how to...
- Yeah, thanks for coming.

988
00:39:35,574 --> 00:39:37,324
- He's leaving.
- Bye.

989
00:39:38,468 --> 00:39:40,801
- Oh Jenny.
- That's so nice.

990
00:39:41,919 --> 00:39:43,181
- Bloody marvellous.
- Good for you.

991
00:39:43,183 --> 00:39:45,920
All right everyone,
let's get these glasses

992
00:39:45,922 --> 00:39:49,416
filled and raised, hip hip.

993
00:39:49,418 --> 00:39:51,001
- Hooray!
- Hip hip.

994
00:39:52,005 --> 00:39:53,513
- Hooray!
- Hip hip.

995
00:39:53,515 --> 00:39:55,968
Hooray!
(JENNY LAUGHS)

996
00:39:57,397 --> 00:40:00,246
♪ For they are jolly good fellows ♪

997
00:40:00,248 --> 00:40:03,051
♪ For they are jolly good fellows ♪

998
00:40:03,053 --> 00:40:07,377
♪ For they are jolly good fellows ♪

999
00:40:07,379 --> 00:40:10,163
♪ And so say all of us ♪

1000
00:40:10,165 --> 00:40:12,703
Hey Bianca, when did you start filming?

1001
00:40:12,705 --> 00:40:15,693
- Oh, just before the song.
- Okay, get me, get me right.

1002
00:40:15,695 --> 00:40:17,883
Well done you two, you make
such a wonderful couple.

1003
00:40:17,885 --> 00:40:19,523
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.

1004
00:40:19,525 --> 00:40:21,493
BIANCA: Yeah, Grace, can you
just take this for a second?

1005
00:40:21,495 --> 00:40:22,933
I think I've got something on my shoe.

1006
00:40:22,935 --> 00:40:26,384
- Give you that, give you that.
- Oh okay.

1007
00:40:26,386 --> 00:40:28,358
I don't know what to do with these things.

1008
00:40:30,030 --> 00:40:31,403
- Bianca.
- Got you sucker.

1009
00:40:31,405 --> 00:40:33,805
GRACE: No, you can't
leave me here with this.

1010
00:40:34,923 --> 00:40:37,143
I have no idea what to do with this thing,

1011
00:40:37,145 --> 00:40:40,573
no idea at all, I think
what I'm probably gonna do

1012
00:40:40,575 --> 00:40:43,138
is just put you down over there, oh.

1013
00:40:44,405 --> 00:40:48,315
Please don't be angry with
me, congratulations guys, bye.

1014
00:40:49,923 --> 00:40:52,675
- Cheers, congratulations.
- Congratulations.

1015
00:40:52,677 --> 00:40:55,010
Thank you very much, love.

1016
00:41:00,294 --> 00:41:01,461
- Well?
- What?

1017
00:41:02,656 --> 00:41:04,179
We've got ourselves a daughter.

1018
00:41:04,181 --> 00:41:07,381
I know.

1019
00:41:07,383 --> 00:41:08,214
Do you think they're gonna be

1020
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:10,173
thinking about having children?

1021
00:41:10,175 --> 00:41:11,910
We'll find out soon enough.

1022
00:41:11,912 --> 00:41:14,662
You see it makes me wonder
if we did the right thing.

1023
00:41:15,688 --> 00:41:17,872
Why are you thinking
about that right now?

1024
00:41:17,874 --> 00:41:19,632
Because if they have
children, they're not gonna

1025
00:41:19,634 --> 00:41:20,523
look anything like us.

1026
00:41:20,525 --> 00:41:22,823
Grandkids never look like
their grandparents anyway.

1027
00:41:22,825 --> 00:41:24,053
Well that's not true.

1028
00:41:24,055 --> 00:41:25,433
What about your brother and his heirs?

1029
00:41:25,435 --> 00:41:26,628
Those poor kids.

1030
00:41:27,945 --> 00:41:30,183
Look, he's not gonna know that.

1031
00:41:30,185 --> 00:41:31,293
He's our son.

1032
00:41:31,295 --> 00:41:32,973
He may not be our flesh and blood,

1033
00:41:32,975 --> 00:41:35,758
but he is our son and
that's the truth of it.

1034
00:41:36,809 --> 00:41:38,863
Deciding to bring him up as our own

1035
00:41:38,865 --> 00:41:40,452
was the right thing to do.

1036
00:41:40,454 --> 00:41:41,809
I know, you're right, you're right,

1037
00:41:41,811 --> 00:41:44,577
it's just Peter I wanted
to be there at the wedding.

1038
00:41:44,579 --> 00:41:45,799
- Shh shh.
- To be there with you

1039
00:41:45,801 --> 00:41:47,551
- and him before.
- Shh.

1040
00:41:49,104 --> 00:41:51,437
You will be there, you will.

1041
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,598
Yes, but he's gonna know
that there's something wrong.

1042
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:55,431
- Shh, shh.
- He's been pressing

1043
00:41:55,433 --> 00:41:58,223
to me in fixing a date
before it's too soon.

1044
00:41:58,225 --> 00:41:59,758
Stop it, look at him.

1045
00:42:01,325 --> 00:42:03,333
He can't wait to marry her.

1046
00:42:03,335 --> 00:42:04,973
I could get him to set
a date for tomorrow.

1047
00:42:04,975 --> 00:42:07,133
He wouldn't suspect a thing.

1048
00:42:07,135 --> 00:42:08,673
He's not going to know.

1049
00:42:08,675 --> 00:42:11,613
Yes, but maybe he should know.

1050
00:42:11,615 --> 00:42:13,608
I mean I'm not sure that
we did the right thing

1051
00:42:13,610 --> 00:42:15,443
in keeping the truth from him.

1052
00:42:15,445 --> 00:42:17,648
Is he gonna know the
truth of losing you?

1053
00:42:19,865 --> 00:42:21,418
Then he'll know the truth.

1054
00:42:22,805 --> 00:42:25,253
Tell the truth, tell it slanted,

1055
00:42:25,255 --> 00:42:27,663
success in circuit rhymes,

1056
00:42:27,665 --> 00:42:29,633
too bright for our own firm tonight,

1057
00:42:29,635 --> 00:42:31,693
the truth superb surprise.

1058
00:42:31,695 --> 00:42:34,083
As lightning to the children eased

1059
00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:38,183
with an explanation kind the
truth must dazzle gradually

1060
00:42:38,185 --> 00:42:40,165
or every man it bind.

1061
00:42:42,413 --> 00:42:44,159
Come on, come on.

1062
00:42:44,161 --> 00:42:46,911
(GUESTS TALKING)

1063
00:42:49,472 --> 00:42:50,305
Oh bugger!

1064
00:42:51,346 --> 00:42:52,179
Oh God!

1065
00:42:53,178 --> 00:42:55,423
- Hey you guys.
- Hey.

1066
00:42:55,425 --> 00:42:56,900
How is everything?

1067
00:42:56,902 --> 00:42:57,733
- Fine, how are you?
- Fine, well done.

1068
00:42:57,735 --> 00:43:00,543
I'm good, oh thank you
so much for this necklace.

1069
00:43:00,545 --> 00:43:03,563
It's beautiful, you knew didn't you?

1070
00:43:03,565 --> 00:43:05,328
Yeah, we did. (LAUGHS)

1071
00:43:05,330 --> 00:43:08,438
I just happened to notice
there's a camera right there.

1072
00:43:09,477 --> 00:43:13,423
Oh, I will take it off
your hands for you, huh?

1073
00:43:13,425 --> 00:43:15,998
I hope you guys didn't say
anything inappropriate.

1074
00:43:17,635 --> 00:43:18,838
Pardon my reach.

1075
00:43:19,873 --> 00:43:21,753
Oopsie daisie.

1076
00:43:21,755 --> 00:43:24,705
Come with you little camera,
time to smash you into pieces.

1077
00:43:28,915 --> 00:43:30,133
What are you doing?

1078
00:43:30,135 --> 00:43:32,473
Oh you know I'm just enjoying this

1079
00:43:32,475 --> 00:43:34,828
lovely birthday party food.

1080
00:43:35,667 --> 00:43:39,743
Oh hang on, is it an
engagement party food?

1081
00:43:39,745 --> 00:43:43,593
Yeah, no no no, it's fuck
off Damien party food.

1082
00:43:43,595 --> 00:43:44,653
That's what it is.

1083
00:43:44,655 --> 00:43:46,084
- Oh Damien stop.
- Yum.

1084
00:43:46,086 --> 00:43:48,832
- Yeah, give me that.
- What are you doing?

1085
00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:49,665
- I just...
- What are you doing?

1086
00:43:49,667 --> 00:43:50,498
What are you doing?

1087
00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:52,913
DAMIEN: I'm just filming
the birthday girl slash bride.

1088
00:43:52,915 --> 00:43:54,406
Yeah, well stop it.

1089
00:43:54,408 --> 00:43:55,813
DAMIEN: I can't remember.

1090
00:43:55,815 --> 00:44:00,748
It's on record, can I get a
closeup of the total bitch?

1091
00:44:01,715 --> 00:44:03,503
(LAUGHS) Charming.

1092
00:44:03,505 --> 00:44:04,336
Are you done now?

1093
00:44:04,338 --> 00:44:05,171
My turn.

1094
00:44:06,743 --> 00:44:09,393
Just want to get a nice long
closeup of a total shit.

1095
00:44:11,918 --> 00:44:13,380
Ow Jesus, Damien.

1096
00:44:13,382 --> 00:44:16,703
- Stop it, fuck.
- The fuck are you doing?

1097
00:44:16,705 --> 00:44:17,623
What the heck are you talking about?

1098
00:44:17,625 --> 00:44:18,743
You just got engaged to Mike.

1099
00:44:18,745 --> 00:44:20,403
Yeah, so?

1100
00:44:20,405 --> 00:44:22,733
Look, you know I love you.

1101
00:44:22,735 --> 00:44:24,613
Oh, this is bullshit,
this is has never been

1102
00:44:24,615 --> 00:44:27,125
anything more than sex and you know it.

1103
00:44:27,127 --> 00:44:28,783
I do not know it and you do not know it.

1104
00:44:28,785 --> 00:44:30,903
Look, what I know is that the girl I love

1105
00:44:30,905 --> 00:44:32,303
and the girl who loves me

1106
00:44:32,305 --> 00:44:34,073
has just got engaged to another man.

1107
00:44:34,075 --> 00:44:35,363
Well too bad, because I love Mike

1108
00:44:35,365 --> 00:44:36,196
and I'm gonna marry Mike.

1109
00:44:36,198 --> 00:44:39,443
No, no, what you love is
the bloody engagement ring

1110
00:44:39,445 --> 00:44:41,283
- on your finger.
- Oh fuck off.

1111
00:44:41,285 --> 00:44:44,133
No fuck off you, just give me that.

1112
00:44:44,135 --> 00:44:44,966
- No.
- Yeah.

1113
00:44:44,968 --> 00:44:46,563
- Oh gosh.
- Because I want to

1114
00:44:46,565 --> 00:44:51,565
film a little closeup of
birthday girl and the buffoon.

1115
00:44:52,176 --> 00:44:53,753
- Oh Jesus.
- The bitch

1116
00:44:53,755 --> 00:44:56,465
and the berk, the bride of and...

1117
00:44:58,223 --> 00:45:00,383
Ha, can't think of anything
else starting with B, can you?

1118
00:45:00,385 --> 00:45:01,318
Oh bollocks.

1119
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,293
This is bullshit, Damien,
we need to do something

1120
00:45:02,295 --> 00:45:04,043
about this camera and
we need to do it now.

1121
00:45:04,045 --> 00:45:06,023
Are you gonna help me or not?

1122
00:45:06,025 --> 00:45:06,858
Not.

1123
00:45:09,335 --> 00:45:10,583
Nick, Nick?

1124
00:45:10,585 --> 00:45:12,149
Yeah.

1125
00:45:12,151 --> 00:45:14,213
Listen, you can be the
keeper of the camera, yeah?

1126
00:45:14,215 --> 00:45:15,458
Yeah, go on take it.

1127
00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:19,581
All you have to do is just
film everybody all night

1128
00:45:19,583 --> 00:45:22,408
and at the end of the
night you give it to Mike.

1129
00:45:23,448 --> 00:45:25,553
I know he'll be really grateful.

1130
00:45:25,555 --> 00:45:27,843
- Sure I can do that.
- Great.

1131
00:45:27,845 --> 00:45:32,833
- Congratulations Jenny.
- Yeah, congratulations Jenny.

1132
00:45:32,835 --> 00:45:33,668
Bye.

1133
00:45:36,437 --> 00:45:39,239
- Ooh nice cake.
- Thank you monsieur.

1134
00:45:39,241 --> 00:45:41,078
NICK: All right, I'm going.

1135
00:45:42,445 --> 00:45:46,698
Well that was weird, okay
black to planet Earth.

1136
00:45:46,700 --> 00:45:49,443
- They do look like shit.
- What are you saying?

1137
00:45:49,445 --> 00:45:51,437
- Oh, the happy couple.
- Oh.

1138
00:45:51,439 --> 00:45:56,439
I'm going to give you
two a very special price

1139
00:45:56,555 --> 00:45:58,440
- on our next piece.
- Ooh, yes

1140
00:45:58,442 --> 00:45:59,983
and congratulations to the two of you,

1141
00:45:59,985 --> 00:46:02,533
that was so romantic
and beautiful and Jenny,

1142
00:46:02,535 --> 00:46:05,644
you could be my new boss's
wife, cheers for that.

1143
00:46:05,646 --> 00:46:06,862
You work for Mike, do you?

1144
00:46:06,864 --> 00:46:09,060
Mmm, fingers crossed.

1145
00:46:09,062 --> 00:46:12,027
NICK: Oops, let's
pause for vol-au-vents.

1146
00:46:12,029 --> 00:46:12,860
- Volva?
- No no?

1147
00:46:12,862 --> 00:46:16,060
Yeah, I had an interview with
Mike a couple of weeks ago.

1148
00:46:16,062 --> 00:46:18,303
Well yeah, don't you think
that's a bit rich, isn't it?

1149
00:46:18,305 --> 00:46:20,003
No no no, it's fine.

1150
00:46:20,005 --> 00:46:21,543
- It's just...
- Well he's kept you

1151
00:46:21,545 --> 00:46:24,083
waiting on tenterhooks for two weeks?

1152
00:46:24,085 --> 00:46:26,404
I'm sorry, but that's a bit rude.

1153
00:46:26,406 --> 00:46:28,038
No no no I understand completely.

1154
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,104
- He's a busy man.
- No no no.

1155
00:46:30,106 --> 00:46:32,166
That's why I've got
this little thing called

1156
00:46:32,168 --> 00:46:36,402
the wanker tax, if I
sell some tit painting,

1157
00:46:36,404 --> 00:46:38,594
I just bung on the wanker tax,

1158
00:46:38,596 --> 00:46:40,700
the bigger the tit, the
bigger the wanker tax.

1159
00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:43,100
I totally make it up, some of the stuff

1160
00:46:43,102 --> 00:46:46,605
I've sold Mike has been
double what it should be

1161
00:46:48,019 --> 00:46:49,602
because of the wanker tax.

1162
00:46:50,965 --> 00:46:53,203
NICK: Alan, you are
aware that at no point

1163
00:46:53,205 --> 00:46:56,855
have I stopped filming you
since I entered the room?

1164
00:46:56,857 --> 00:46:58,028
Yes, of course.

1165
00:46:58,901 --> 00:46:59,843
NICK: Well why would
you say those things

1166
00:46:59,845 --> 00:47:01,804
right into the camera?

1167
00:47:01,806 --> 00:47:03,106
This is their party movie.

1168
00:47:05,042 --> 00:47:06,375
Well, what no.

1169
00:47:07,227 --> 00:47:08,613
Nick, I think I'm
getting my second wind,

1170
00:47:08,615 --> 00:47:11,163
I don't mind taking over
the camera again for a bit.

1171
00:47:11,165 --> 00:47:13,133
- I'm good.
- Well look,

1172
00:47:13,135 --> 00:47:14,403
there's a little something
on there that I filmed

1173
00:47:14,405 --> 00:47:16,056
that shouldn't be on
there so if I could just.

1174
00:47:16,058 --> 00:47:17,983
- Oh you and me both.
- Excuse me.

1175
00:47:17,985 --> 00:47:18,943
- Hold on, hold on, look.
- I don't know your name.

1176
00:47:18,945 --> 00:47:21,061
There's no point
upsetting the happy couple,

1177
00:47:21,063 --> 00:47:22,543
- if I could just take...?
- It's okay.

1178
00:47:22,545 --> 00:47:24,868
Sorry, sorry, but can you just here,

1179
00:47:26,245 --> 00:47:29,573
can you take the photo
and just get a shot of us

1180
00:47:29,575 --> 00:47:30,813
- with the photo?
- That's a really good idea.

1181
00:47:30,815 --> 00:47:32,683
- Come on.
- Yeah yeah yeah.

1182
00:47:32,685 --> 00:47:34,918
Jenny hey, come over here.

1183
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,932
- Come look.
- Let me see.

1184
00:47:36,934 --> 00:47:39,404
No, no, we have to get in order, okay.

1185
00:47:39,406 --> 00:47:43,675
- Yeah, thank you.
- Okay, see.

1186
00:47:45,980 --> 00:47:46,825
Are we getting in the right positions?

1187
00:47:46,827 --> 00:47:47,986
NICK: A little bit
there, a little bit there.

1188
00:47:47,988 --> 00:47:50,973
I look good, who is the most beautiful?

1189
00:47:50,975 --> 00:47:52,563
Jenny, you're gonna
have to get in position.

1190
00:47:52,565 --> 00:47:53,750
NICK: I think you're
all beautiful, got it okay,

1191
00:47:53,752 --> 00:47:55,383
- all good.
- Okay.

1192
00:47:55,385 --> 00:47:57,393
- Oh my God.
- It's so fun.

1193
00:47:57,395 --> 00:47:59,513
- Thank you.
- Okay, who else

1194
00:47:59,515 --> 00:48:01,613
- has a story?
- Hi.

1195
00:48:01,615 --> 00:48:06,615
On me, three two one, cue Johnny.

1196
00:48:07,366 --> 00:48:09,113
- Here's Johnny.
- Well Mike you little

1197
00:48:09,115 --> 00:48:10,623
son of a gun you're gone and done it now,

1198
00:48:10,625 --> 00:48:12,436
- you've taken the plunge.
- I have yes.

1199
00:48:12,438 --> 00:48:15,202
- There's no going back now.
- No.

1200
00:48:15,204 --> 00:48:16,818
- Listen.
- Hmm?

1201
00:48:16,820 --> 00:48:20,383
When I think back to
the day when I proposed

1202
00:48:20,385 --> 00:48:23,593
to my own beautiful
Helen, if I could go back

1203
00:48:23,595 --> 00:48:27,066
to that moment, I'd run a bloody mile.

1204
00:48:27,068 --> 00:48:29,335
(LAUGHS)

1205
00:48:29,337 --> 00:48:30,953
Kidding, kidding, of course.

1206
00:48:30,955 --> 00:48:33,983
Only kidding, but look
seriously, congratulations Mike.

1207
00:48:33,985 --> 00:48:35,750
- Thank you.
- Congratulations Mike

1208
00:48:35,752 --> 00:48:38,848
- and Jenny.
- Thank you John and Helen.

1209
00:48:38,850 --> 00:48:40,230
- Excellent.
- She's got a lovely

1210
00:48:40,232 --> 00:48:41,982
- bloody ass.
- Oh John!

1211
00:48:43,129 --> 00:48:45,499
What, we're married, not dead.

1212
00:48:45,501 --> 00:48:47,078
Yes, married to me.

1213
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:49,193
I don't want to hear you talking
about another woman's bum.

1214
00:48:49,195 --> 00:48:51,243
Hey you too, that's
my Jenny's lovely bum

1215
00:48:51,245 --> 00:48:52,553
that you're talking about.

1216
00:48:52,555 --> 00:48:55,083
Well I didn't say you
didn't have a nice ass, did I?

1217
00:48:55,085 --> 00:48:57,163
Now when did I say that?

1218
00:48:57,165 --> 00:48:58,798
- Was it with women?
- I don't know.

1219
00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:02,980
When you say to women,
there's a lovely young woman.

1220
00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:03,813
That's not what they
hear, what they hear is

1221
00:49:03,815 --> 00:49:07,863
there is a woman who is so
much lovelier than you are

1222
00:49:07,865 --> 00:49:11,533
and younger than you are,
because you are old and ugly,

1223
00:49:11,535 --> 00:49:13,573
- that's what they hear.
- Oh darling, have

1224
00:49:13,575 --> 00:49:15,223
I told you how old and
ugly you are recently?

1225
00:49:15,225 --> 00:49:17,073
NICK: Hello Jenny, everything okay?

1226
00:49:17,075 --> 00:49:19,063
- Touche.
- Oh, what's Damien

1227
00:49:19,065 --> 00:49:22,232
up to, seems very strange.

1228
00:49:22,234 --> 00:49:23,843
JOHN: Because I've got that experienced

1229
00:49:23,845 --> 00:49:26,663
older man thing going
on, I've seen the world,

1230
00:49:26,665 --> 00:49:28,013
done it all, got the T-shirt.

1231
00:49:28,015 --> 00:49:31,325
I'm like a slightly
younger George Clooney.

1232
00:49:31,327 --> 00:49:32,923
NICK: Hello you two, still having fun.

1233
00:49:32,925 --> 00:49:35,613
- Yeah, fine thanks, lovely.
- Me too.

1234
00:49:35,615 --> 00:49:37,383
- Yes, good to see you.
- See you in a bit.

1235
00:49:37,385 --> 00:49:40,170
- Yep.
- Oh, fuck fuck fuck

1236
00:49:40,172 --> 00:49:43,830
fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck.

1237
00:49:43,832 --> 00:49:46,415
(DOOR RATTLES)

1238
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:51,298
Oh come on, come on, open you bastard.

1239
00:49:52,152 --> 00:49:53,948
Oh shit, they're all gonna see me.

1240
00:49:54,988 --> 00:49:56,073
Oh, who's that Mike?

1241
00:49:56,075 --> 00:49:57,225
Oh, that's Nick, my PA.

1242
00:49:58,506 --> 00:49:59,743
What's he doing?

1243
00:49:59,745 --> 00:50:03,198
Oh, he's spanking one out over
a picture of my girlfriend.

1244
00:50:04,035 --> 00:50:05,298
Oh shit, fuck.

1245
00:50:06,381 --> 00:50:07,888
Come on.

1246
00:50:07,890 --> 00:50:10,078
I'm gonna lose my fucking, it won't open.

1247
00:50:11,128 --> 00:50:11,959
It won't fucking open.

1248
00:50:11,961 --> 00:50:15,098
- Who's in there?
- Oh, it's me again.

1249
00:50:16,095 --> 00:50:19,044
- It's Nick again boss.
- What are you doing now?

1250
00:50:19,046 --> 00:50:20,313
Have you got a bladder infection?

1251
00:50:20,315 --> 00:50:23,833
- I just, I just...
- Is the camera in there?

1252
00:50:23,835 --> 00:50:28,435
- The camera is in here, yes.
- What's going on now?

1253
00:50:28,437 --> 00:50:30,141
You do know that we're
gonna be sitting down

1254
00:50:30,143 --> 00:50:32,463
watching all that footage don't you?

1255
00:50:32,465 --> 00:50:35,373
- Yes, I'm well aware of that.
- Because anything

1256
00:50:35,375 --> 00:50:36,875
you're up to is gonna be seen.

1257
00:50:38,135 --> 00:50:39,713
- I know.
- Will you just

1258
00:50:39,715 --> 00:50:42,730
- pass the camera out?
- Yeah yeah sure,

1259
00:50:42,732 --> 00:50:44,556
I'll pass it right out now.

1260
00:50:44,558 --> 00:50:48,313
- Wash your hands first.
- Sure, yes, yes boss.

1261
00:50:48,315 --> 00:50:50,868
Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

1262
00:50:53,165 --> 00:50:56,757
One week on the job
fired already, brilliant,

1263
00:50:56,759 --> 00:51:00,325
Jesus Christ, Jesus fucking Christ.

1264
00:51:01,477 --> 00:51:05,653
Why does the camera keep
ending up in the bathroom?

1265
00:51:05,655 --> 00:51:09,673
- It's weird.
- Yeah, that is strange.

1266
00:51:09,675 --> 00:51:11,230
- Oh Andy.
- Yes Mike?

1267
00:51:11,232 --> 00:51:13,703
MIKE: Hi, Nick keep takes
this camera into the bathroom.

1268
00:51:13,705 --> 00:51:15,693
- No boss.
- I don't know why,

1269
00:51:15,695 --> 00:51:17,643
so I'm wondering if you
could do your stint on it

1270
00:51:17,645 --> 00:51:19,523
you know I know you won't let me down.

1271
00:51:19,525 --> 00:51:20,773
ANDY: Oh no, I won't I'll get you

1272
00:51:20,775 --> 00:51:22,283
some wonderful footage Mike.

1273
00:51:22,285 --> 00:51:24,966
Okay, excellent stories,
excellent stories, okay?

1274
00:51:24,968 --> 00:51:26,473
ANDY: Absolutely Mike.

1275
00:51:26,475 --> 00:51:29,123
Right, right, stories, stories, stories.

1276
00:51:29,125 --> 00:51:31,708
Stories, hello everybody.

1277
00:51:31,710 --> 00:51:32,543
- Let's have your stories.
- Hey Andy, Andy.

1278
00:51:34,285 --> 00:51:35,372
Get over here.

1279
00:51:36,285 --> 00:51:40,193
Jenny, having your friends
here, a little bit feisty.

1280
00:51:40,195 --> 00:51:41,767
Yeah, maybe you should
have a double wedding

1281
00:51:41,769 --> 00:51:43,105
- and I'll marry this one.
- Oh yes.

1282
00:51:43,107 --> 00:51:45,750
Hey, I saw him first.

1283
00:51:45,752 --> 00:51:48,953
Oh no no, Mike, Mike, I
don't know if you're still

1284
00:51:48,955 --> 00:51:52,043
watching but if you are
mate, what can I say?

1285
00:51:52,045 --> 00:51:54,263
Good luck and now yeah,
I think I'll just get

1286
00:51:54,265 --> 00:51:56,398
busy with these two, bye now.

1287
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:57,753
Bye now.

1288
00:51:57,755 --> 00:51:58,946
- Andy, that's right?
- That's right.

1289
00:51:58,948 --> 00:52:01,927
I might have said something
a tiny bit inappropriate

1290
00:52:01,929 --> 00:52:03,841
on there, so if I could just have that.

1291
00:52:03,843 --> 00:52:04,966
ANDY: No no, please don't
try to take the camera.

1292
00:52:04,968 --> 00:52:07,355
(SCREAMS)

1293
00:52:07,357 --> 00:52:08,653
Are you all right?

1294
00:52:08,655 --> 00:52:10,638
Are you feeling well?

1295
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,672
Oh dear, oh dear.

1296
00:52:12,674 --> 00:52:13,505
Oh here we are.

1297
00:52:13,507 --> 00:52:16,103
The King's Speech, do you mean yeah?

1298
00:52:16,105 --> 00:52:17,183
What do you mean, how do you mean?

1299
00:52:17,185 --> 00:52:20,806
I mean is a good film, Colin Firth,

1300
00:52:20,808 --> 00:52:23,873
oh he's so lovely, I was
so pleased when he won.

1301
00:52:23,875 --> 00:52:25,743
Do you understand the game Sofia?

1302
00:52:25,745 --> 00:52:28,183
Yes, of course you're
trying to figure out

1303
00:52:28,185 --> 00:52:31,803
the number two film of all time?

1304
00:52:31,805 --> 00:52:33,233
No?

1305
00:52:33,235 --> 00:52:35,819
- Yes.
- I like this game really.

1306
00:52:35,821 --> 00:52:37,214
I really like it.

1307
00:52:37,216 --> 00:52:38,691
(LAUGHS)

1308
00:52:38,693 --> 00:52:41,151
- Oh congratulations.
- Oh hello Rosalind.

1309
00:52:41,153 --> 00:52:41,984
- You look so happy together.
- Thank you very much.

1310
00:52:41,986 --> 00:52:45,083
I mean I don't mean a
pest and this probably

1311
00:52:45,085 --> 00:52:47,593
isn't the place, but
it has been two weeks.

1312
00:52:47,595 --> 00:52:49,443
Yes, this is not the place.

1313
00:52:49,445 --> 00:52:51,812
I'll see you next week, okay bye bye.

1314
00:52:51,814 --> 00:52:54,839
ANDY: Oh don't worry Rosalind.

1315
00:52:54,841 --> 00:52:55,773
JOHN: The game is movie titles

1316
00:52:55,775 --> 00:52:58,309
that describe the quality
of your last number two.

1317
00:52:58,311 --> 00:53:02,592
I see, oh ho and like a (LAUGHS)

1318
00:53:04,972 --> 00:53:08,639
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

1319
00:53:15,045 --> 00:53:16,385
(LAUGHS)

1320
00:53:16,387 --> 00:53:17,220
Splash.

1321
00:53:18,147 --> 00:53:19,469
- Oh Splash?
- Splash?

1322
00:53:19,471 --> 00:53:20,930
- Splash yes.
- That's the best one yet.

1323
00:53:20,932 --> 00:53:23,101
Well done mate.

1324
00:53:23,103 --> 00:53:26,366
- You know Cannibal Run?
- Moving on.

1325
00:53:26,368 --> 00:53:29,333
Oh there's Alan, well let's see
what's going in the kitchen.

1326
00:53:29,335 --> 00:53:31,492
So I said, no no no you didn't

1327
00:53:31,494 --> 00:53:32,746
and she said yeah yeah, yeah I did.

1328
00:53:32,748 --> 00:53:34,141
ANDY: Lovely food
preparation going on here.

1329
00:53:34,143 --> 00:53:36,234
- And I said...
- Oh my God.

1330
00:53:36,236 --> 00:53:38,653
- That's cat's food.
- Oh hello.

1331
00:53:39,561 --> 00:53:41,933
ANDY: You're putting cat's
food in the vol-au-vent.

1332
00:53:41,935 --> 00:53:43,258
- Jesus.
- Oh, fuck it.

1333
00:53:45,154 --> 00:53:47,104
ANDY: Everybody everybody everybody,

1334
00:53:47,985 --> 00:53:49,890
I think you should all
know that the vol-au-vent

1335
00:53:49,892 --> 00:53:51,818
are not quite what they seem.

1336
00:53:54,012 --> 00:53:55,003
No?

1337
00:53:55,005 --> 00:53:56,048
No interest.

1338
00:53:57,745 --> 00:54:00,778
Ah Mike, Mike, trouble with the caterer.

1339
00:54:02,154 --> 00:54:04,263
I guess you're busy.

1340
00:54:04,265 --> 00:54:06,565
- We'll get our something.
- Yes honey bunch.

1341
00:54:08,132 --> 00:54:09,760
ANDY: Nick, Nick, do you have anything

1342
00:54:09,762 --> 00:54:11,333
for the camera Nick?

1343
00:54:11,335 --> 00:54:13,853
Yeah, a couple of things actually,

1344
00:54:13,855 --> 00:54:15,861
one of them's a real showstopper,

1345
00:54:15,863 --> 00:54:17,303
but I think I'll just
stay out of the frame

1346
00:54:17,305 --> 00:54:19,162
for now if you don't mind.

1347
00:54:19,164 --> 00:54:22,361
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

1348
00:54:22,363 --> 00:54:23,446
Yeah, thanks.

1349
00:54:24,392 --> 00:54:27,233
ANDY: Right, let's see what we can.

1350
00:54:27,235 --> 00:54:30,723
Oh my God, not you, what are you doing?

1351
00:54:30,725 --> 00:54:31,933
What are you doing?

1352
00:54:31,935 --> 00:54:33,633
Well what are you doing?

1353
00:54:33,635 --> 00:54:37,203
Oh, monsieur I am not used to having

1354
00:54:37,205 --> 00:54:42,205
the camera in my kitchen and
sometimes out of context,

1355
00:54:42,235 --> 00:54:46,584
the ingredients may seem
a little bit surprising.

1356
00:54:46,586 --> 00:54:48,523
I am not sure what the camera captured.

1357
00:54:48,525 --> 00:54:50,183
ANDY: I saw the cat food.

1358
00:54:50,185 --> 00:54:52,553
Oh, shit, give me the camera.

1359
00:54:52,555 --> 00:54:54,696
- No no no.
- This will be the ruin of me.

1360
00:54:54,698 --> 00:54:57,442
I am the Toast Potato and I don't care

1361
00:54:57,444 --> 00:54:59,417
whether it's cat food,
it takes fucking great,

1362
00:54:59,419 --> 00:55:02,388
now give me the camera now.

1363
00:55:02,390 --> 00:55:06,640
I don't care, give that
back, give that back now.

1364
00:55:08,428 --> 00:55:10,928
(OVEN CLANKS)

1365
00:55:13,803 --> 00:55:15,623
Okay, where is it?

1366
00:55:15,625 --> 00:55:17,489
Where is what, monsieur?

1367
00:55:17,491 --> 00:55:18,634
Where is the camera?

1368
00:55:18,636 --> 00:55:20,587
And you cut the faux French accent.

1369
00:55:20,589 --> 00:55:22,783
I am French, so I speak
with a French accent.

1370
00:55:22,785 --> 00:55:25,316
Then tell me where the camera is.

1371
00:55:25,318 --> 00:55:28,303
I might be able to remember
where I might have seen

1372
00:55:28,305 --> 00:55:31,262
this camera if you can
guarantee that the offending

1373
00:55:31,264 --> 00:55:33,691
footage would disappear away.

1374
00:55:33,693 --> 00:55:35,623
Well, that works for me,
now tell me where the camera

1375
00:55:35,625 --> 00:55:38,407
is now and I will get rid
of the offending footage.

1376
00:55:38,409 --> 00:55:40,043
It's in the oven.

1377
00:55:40,045 --> 00:55:40,878
What?

1378
00:55:44,209 --> 00:55:46,709
(OVEN CLANKS)

1379
00:55:48,974 --> 00:55:53,974
I can't believe you put
the camera in the oven.

1380
00:55:54,105 --> 00:55:56,373
I had to think fast,
you saw the cat food.

1381
00:55:56,375 --> 00:55:57,791
ANDY: That changes everything.

1382
00:55:57,793 --> 00:55:59,073
- What do you mean?
- Well you put the

1383
00:55:59,075 --> 00:56:01,283
camera in the oven and I will not now

1384
00:56:01,285 --> 00:56:03,233
get rid of the cat food footage.

1385
00:56:03,235 --> 00:56:06,836
You little shit now get
the fuck out of my kitchen

1386
00:56:06,838 --> 00:56:08,573
or I'll have you, do you understand me?

1387
00:56:08,575 --> 00:56:10,475
- Get out.
- Jesus, she's gone bananas,

1388
00:56:11,725 --> 00:56:14,523
totally mad, do not use that mad woman

1389
00:56:14,525 --> 00:56:16,275
for catering for your wedding Mike.

1390
00:56:17,148 --> 00:56:19,335
Now I need a quiet spot for

1391
00:56:20,448 --> 00:56:24,602
let's go in here and see what
we can find, lovely, lovely.

1392
00:56:31,806 --> 00:56:36,806
(GUESTS TALKING)
(MUSIC BOOMING)

1393
00:56:38,610 --> 00:56:41,027
(DOOR SNAPS)

1394
00:56:47,095 --> 00:56:47,928
Hello.

1395
00:56:49,153 --> 00:56:49,986
Hello Mike.

1396
00:56:51,051 --> 00:56:51,884
Hi Jenny.

1397
00:56:54,272 --> 00:56:56,023
You've just seen some mad caterers

1398
00:56:56,025 --> 00:56:59,168
and God knows what else and now it's me.

1399
00:57:01,605 --> 00:57:03,473
It's funny.

1400
00:57:03,475 --> 00:57:08,153
Hearing your future, me
sitting here in your past

1401
00:57:08,155 --> 00:57:10,162
and it's the present now.

1402
00:57:12,945 --> 00:57:15,318
The past, present.

1403
00:57:17,404 --> 00:57:19,953
I only say the present is a present

1404
00:57:19,955 --> 00:57:24,955
because it's a gift and
just forget, forget it

1405
00:57:26,740 --> 00:57:28,188
I probably should start again.

1406
00:57:33,055 --> 00:57:35,855
I'm very sorry to bring this
up on your birthday, Jenny.

1407
00:57:37,435 --> 00:57:38,268
The fact is

1408
00:57:40,755 --> 00:57:43,828
the fact is I love you.

1409
00:57:46,025 --> 00:57:49,206
Mike that is, not you, Jenny,

1410
00:57:49,208 --> 00:57:50,039
not that you're not a good girl,

1411
00:57:50,041 --> 00:57:53,198
but no I mean Mike.

1412
00:57:55,225 --> 00:57:58,438
I always have, ever since we first met.

1413
00:58:00,765 --> 00:58:02,363
Not that I expect anything of you,

1414
00:58:02,365 --> 00:58:04,633
I don't want you to leave Jenny

1415
00:58:04,635 --> 00:58:08,153
and come and be with me, but God knows,

1416
00:58:08,155 --> 00:58:12,682
but I can't live like this anymore.

1417
00:58:14,668 --> 00:58:18,325
I'm too much of a coward to
say it to you face to face

1418
00:58:20,905 --> 00:58:23,598
in the flesh so to speak.

1419
00:58:27,525 --> 00:58:28,358
Pathetic.

1420
00:58:29,575 --> 00:58:30,558
I've said it loud.

1421
00:58:32,995 --> 00:58:34,745
Let the chips falls where they may.

1422
00:58:37,215 --> 00:58:40,615
Can you just remember
that this is just a man

1423
00:58:41,765 --> 00:58:43,924
sitting in front of another man.

1424
00:58:43,926 --> 00:58:45,343
All right, come on.

1425
00:58:45,345 --> 00:58:47,923
Oh Andy, do you mind if we
have a quick quiet conference?

1426
00:58:47,925 --> 00:58:49,363
Business stuff, pain in the ass.

1427
00:58:49,365 --> 00:58:52,721
No, but off you go and cheers.

1428
00:58:52,723 --> 00:58:55,601
- Close that.
- So, what does it say?

1429
00:58:55,603 --> 00:58:59,653
Let me see, yeah, the
investment committee

1430
00:58:59,655 --> 00:59:02,073
have approved the proposition
and four million dollars

1431
00:59:02,075 --> 00:59:04,503
in commissions, however,
the commercial sensitivities

1432
00:59:04,505 --> 00:59:06,683
mean the non-disclosure
provisions you entered into

1433
00:59:06,685 --> 00:59:09,093
preclude commissions from being extended

1434
00:59:09,095 --> 00:59:11,793
beyond yourself and Helen, I'm afraid

1435
00:59:11,795 --> 00:59:15,393
you'll have to deal with Mike,
otherwise the deal is off.

1436
00:59:15,395 --> 00:59:17,788
Your call, best Fletcher.

1437
00:59:20,285 --> 00:59:23,023
Oh my God.

1438
00:59:23,025 --> 00:59:23,858
I know.

1439
00:59:24,928 --> 00:59:28,223
A third of four millions dollars.

1440
00:59:28,225 --> 00:59:29,803
I know.

1441
00:59:29,805 --> 00:59:32,273
So that means you can get the LD

1442
00:59:32,275 --> 00:59:35,838
and the Bentley and both
Henry and Peter can board.

1443
00:59:37,335 --> 00:59:40,703
We only have to say
the word and Mike's out.

1444
00:59:40,705 --> 00:59:42,808
Gosh, this is so exciting.

1445
00:59:44,182 --> 00:59:46,183
Are you telling me that you are willing

1446
00:59:46,185 --> 00:59:48,893
to shaft our oldest and dearest friend

1447
00:59:48,895 --> 00:59:53,563
and business partner out of his share

1448
00:59:53,565 --> 00:59:57,093
of one third of four million dollars,

1449
00:59:57,095 --> 00:59:58,645
is that what you're telling me?

1450
01:00:02,145 --> 01:00:02,978
Yes.

1451
01:00:03,835 --> 01:00:06,342
That's my girl.
(HELEN LAUGHS)

1452
01:00:06,344 --> 01:00:08,030
So how do we proceed?

1453
01:00:08,032 --> 01:00:09,198
(GASPS) John!

1454
01:00:10,495 --> 01:00:11,328
Oh fuck!

1455
01:00:12,374 --> 01:00:14,541
- Can you erase it?
- Fuck!

1456
01:00:15,938 --> 01:00:18,168
I'll fucking smash the bugger.

1457
01:00:18,170 --> 01:00:19,845
(STATIC FIZZLES)
You fucking (SCREAMS)

1458
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:22,735
(STATIC FIZZLES)
Fuck, you fucking camera!

1459
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,629
What are you doing to the camera?

1460
01:00:27,631 --> 01:00:28,744
What do you mean what
am I doing to the camera?

1461
01:00:28,746 --> 01:00:30,625
I'm obviously fixing it.

1462
01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:32,189
Yeah, but you're punching
seven bells out of it.

1463
01:00:32,191 --> 01:00:33,763
It's stuck on record,
if you give it a little

1464
01:00:33,765 --> 01:00:34,596
bum bash it'll reset or something.

1465
01:00:34,598 --> 01:00:36,417
Give it to me.

1466
01:00:36,419 --> 01:00:37,443
I've been hunting for
this camera all evening.

1467
01:00:37,445 --> 01:00:39,298
It's more trouble than it's worth.

1468
01:00:40,805 --> 01:00:41,636
Oh, oh, hello dad.

1469
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:43,241
- Hello son.
- Going upstairs.

1470
01:00:43,243 --> 01:00:47,314
Yes, your mom's feeling
a little bit peaky.

1471
01:00:47,316 --> 01:00:48,147
- Oh.
- That's right.

1472
01:00:48,149 --> 01:00:49,523
- I'll take the camera.
- You wouldn't mind

1473
01:00:49,525 --> 01:00:50,703
just taking her upstairs and getting her

1474
01:00:50,705 --> 01:00:53,638
to lie down for a while,
I'll give this to Damien.

1475
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:54,559
Damien, all right.

1476
01:00:54,561 --> 01:00:56,062
Well I'll take you upstairs mom.

1477
01:00:56,064 --> 01:00:57,963
I'll be all right dear, don't worry.

1478
01:00:57,965 --> 01:00:59,702
- Thanks son, thanks.
- No problem.

1479
01:00:59,704 --> 01:01:01,280
I'm sure I'll be all right,
I just need to lay down

1480
01:01:01,282 --> 01:01:02,511
- for a little bit.
- Okie dokie.

1481
01:01:02,513 --> 01:01:04,096
And I think I'll be well.

1482
01:01:04,098 --> 01:01:05,663
So let's go into the bedroom.

1483
01:01:05,665 --> 01:01:08,498
(STAIRS CREAKING)

1484
01:01:10,989 --> 01:01:11,899
This is lovely.

1485
01:01:11,901 --> 01:01:15,163
- It's nice comfortable one.
- Yes, this is nice isn't it?

1486
01:01:15,165 --> 01:01:16,418
Just swing your legs up here.

1487
01:01:16,420 --> 01:01:17,696
My legs up here, I'll be fine.

1488
01:01:17,698 --> 01:01:20,725
- Just support your back.
- Oh yeah.

1489
01:01:20,727 --> 01:01:21,571
- Thanks son.
- Sure she's okay?

1490
01:01:21,573 --> 01:01:23,995
PETER: Yeah, she's had
a little bit too much.

1491
01:01:23,997 --> 01:01:25,766
- Oh, I know what you mean.
- Yes, lovely, sorry.

1492
01:01:25,768 --> 01:01:28,193
- Where's the camera?
- The camera's downstairs

1493
01:01:28,195 --> 01:01:30,035
- I gave it to Damien.
- I'll leave you too

1494
01:01:30,037 --> 01:01:32,171
- to it then, okay.
- Thanks a lot.

1495
01:01:32,173 --> 01:01:33,980
- Speak to you soon.
- Right.

1496
01:01:33,982 --> 01:01:35,983
All right then, all we gotta do...

1497
01:01:35,985 --> 01:01:36,983
- Yes?
- Is open the hatch.

1498
01:01:36,985 --> 01:01:38,573
- Yes?
- Get the film out,

1499
01:01:38,575 --> 01:01:40,183
expose it and ruin it.

1500
01:01:40,185 --> 01:01:42,203
Oh for goodness sake,
Peter, you can't be serious.

1501
01:01:42,205 --> 01:01:43,153
Yeah, I am serious.

1502
01:01:43,155 --> 01:01:45,113
But they stopped using film ages ago.

1503
01:01:45,115 --> 01:01:46,413
You're just being ridiculous.

1504
01:01:46,415 --> 01:01:48,153
Okay, so what do we do?

1505
01:01:48,155 --> 01:01:49,903
Well I think you have to get a little

1506
01:01:49,905 --> 01:01:52,463
cassette thingy out and
unravel it or something?

1507
01:01:52,465 --> 01:01:53,435
Where from?

1508
01:01:53,437 --> 01:01:54,916
Well I don't know, well
have a look in the back.

1509
01:01:54,918 --> 01:01:59,188
There's no hatch, it's
almost like it's been melted,

1510
01:01:59,190 --> 01:02:00,021
- fused shut.
- Oh!

1511
01:02:00,023 --> 01:02:02,483
All the buttons are too small.

1512
01:02:02,485 --> 01:02:03,923
I mean look at it, it looks
like the sort of thing

1513
01:02:03,925 --> 01:02:05,123
you can float around the universe in.

1514
01:02:05,125 --> 01:02:06,733
Who invented it, aliens?

1515
01:02:06,735 --> 01:02:08,863
Nothing, you can get a
finger or anything at all.

1516
01:02:08,865 --> 01:02:10,698
It's almost like you
need a pen to poke it.

1517
01:02:10,700 --> 01:02:12,006
Well have you got a pen or
better still a screwdriver?

1518
01:02:12,008 --> 01:02:14,983
Hang on, no, but we
could get a screwdriver.

1519
01:02:14,985 --> 01:02:15,993
- Okay.
- Better still,

1520
01:02:15,995 --> 01:02:17,503
we could get a big screwdriver.

1521
01:02:17,505 --> 01:02:19,156
Leave the bugger open.

1522
01:02:19,158 --> 01:02:24,158
- Right, come on then.
- Come on, let's go.

1523
01:02:24,823 --> 01:02:26,671
Oh, I think we should
leave the camera up here.

1524
01:02:26,673 --> 01:02:27,923
- Good idea.
- Can we hide it somewhere?

1525
01:02:27,925 --> 01:02:29,052
The table, right.

1526
01:02:32,139 --> 01:02:32,972
Come on, let's go.

1527
01:02:34,559 --> 01:02:37,392
Got a toolkit in the study, right.

1528
01:02:39,199 --> 01:02:41,949
(GUESTS TALKING)

1529
01:02:48,661 --> 01:02:53,661
(STAIRS CREAKING)
(GUESTS TALKING)

1530
01:03:04,665 --> 01:03:05,498
Mike.

1531
01:03:06,545 --> 01:03:08,443
It is quite clear to me

1532
01:03:08,445 --> 01:03:12,103
that you don't have the hairy little balls

1533
01:03:12,105 --> 01:03:15,308
to just come out and tell me
that I haven't got the job.

1534
01:03:16,245 --> 01:03:18,357
I know your sort.

1535
01:03:18,359 --> 01:03:21,618
All mouth and no trousers.

1536
01:03:22,525 --> 01:03:23,758
Well I'm not having it.

1537
01:03:25,265 --> 01:03:26,548
Not going to have it.

1538
01:03:27,935 --> 01:03:30,058
No, none of it, I tell you, none of it.

1539
01:03:31,785 --> 01:03:32,805
You can

1540
01:03:34,465 --> 01:03:35,803
oh

1541
01:03:35,805 --> 01:03:36,638
You can

1542
01:03:37,847 --> 01:03:39,847
(MOANS)

1543
01:03:44,975 --> 01:03:49,975
You can take your stupid
job and your stupid Jenny

1544
01:03:52,135 --> 01:03:56,313
and your stupid party
and your stupid house

1545
01:03:56,315 --> 01:04:00,732
and shove it right up your stupid asshole

1546
01:04:01,975 --> 01:04:05,905
and I am not clearing that up.

1547
01:04:07,029 --> 01:04:09,112
(GROANS)

1548
01:04:13,227 --> 01:04:17,875
(MUSIC BOOMING)
(GUESTS TALKING)

1549
01:04:17,877 --> 01:04:19,376
Ooh.
(CRASHES ON STAIRS)

1550
01:04:19,378 --> 01:04:21,986
Oh shit, Rosalind, Rosalind.

1551
01:04:21,988 --> 01:04:23,259
Oh she had too much to drink.

1552
01:04:23,261 --> 01:04:24,666
- You okay?
- Help me up with her.

1553
01:04:24,668 --> 01:04:25,543
- You okay?
- Yeah, ready.

1554
01:04:25,545 --> 01:04:27,378
- Got her.
- Right, okay.

1555
01:04:29,505 --> 01:04:31,479
Take her down there, put her on there,

1556
01:04:31,481 --> 01:04:33,143
get her some water or something.

1557
01:04:33,145 --> 01:04:34,578
All right, no time for you.

1558
01:04:34,580 --> 01:04:36,296
- You're all right.
- Come on.

1559
01:04:36,298 --> 01:04:37,900
(GROANS)
Watch your head,

1560
01:04:37,902 --> 01:04:38,848
- watch your...
- Ooh.

1561
01:04:38,850 --> 01:04:40,738
- Oh, oh.
- There you are.

1562
01:04:41,599 --> 01:04:46,599
(NICK WHISPERING)
(ANDY HUMMING)

1563
01:04:54,206 --> 01:04:55,037
- Oh hello.
- Ah.

1564
01:04:55,039 --> 01:04:57,653
- Everything okay?
- Yes I am I was

1565
01:04:57,655 --> 01:05:00,246
just looking for a, I
thought there was a...

1566
01:05:00,248 --> 01:05:01,803
- A loose screw.
- A loose screw, I just...

1567
01:05:01,805 --> 01:05:03,432
Peter hates loose screws.

1568
01:05:03,434 --> 01:05:05,143
And I'm going to help him.

1569
01:05:05,145 --> 01:05:07,723
Yes, that's, that's done now love.

1570
01:05:07,725 --> 01:05:09,973
Oh, that was a quick lie down.

1571
01:05:09,975 --> 01:05:11,713
Yes, dear, I told you not to worry,

1572
01:05:11,715 --> 01:05:13,178
now come on Peter back to the party.

1573
01:05:13,180 --> 01:05:14,518
Yes, let's go back to the party.

1574
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:15,903
As long as you're okay.

1575
01:05:15,905 --> 01:05:18,013
Oh and there's Andy up the
stairs getting some good shots.

1576
01:05:18,015 --> 01:05:20,173
I knew I could rely on you.

1577
01:05:20,175 --> 01:05:22,643
Oh, what's going on here?

1578
01:05:22,645 --> 01:05:24,693
Rosalind took a tumble on the stairs.

1579
01:05:24,695 --> 01:05:26,723
- Oh you okay Rosalind?
- She could have really

1580
01:05:26,725 --> 01:05:28,793
hurt herself but thank goodness,

1581
01:05:28,795 --> 01:05:31,703
- she's so totally drunk.
- Hey Nick, it is a party.

1582
01:05:31,705 --> 01:05:33,593
She's entitled to get a bit squiffy.

1583
01:05:33,595 --> 01:05:38,293
Oh no, he's right,
I'm off my fucking tree.

1584
01:05:38,295 --> 01:05:40,923
Oh well, that's what we loved
about you in the interview,

1585
01:05:40,925 --> 01:05:44,024
Rosalind, your total honesty,
why not get out of your

1586
01:05:44,026 --> 01:05:48,913
effing tree and good news
is you've got the job.

1587
01:05:48,915 --> 01:05:51,752
You're gonna be the best
office manager we've ever had.

1588
01:05:51,754 --> 01:05:52,740
Andy, what are you doing here?

1589
01:05:52,742 --> 01:05:55,578
I want to check on the cake,
you go back in the party.

1590
01:05:58,825 --> 01:06:00,658
Oh bollocks.

1591
01:06:03,435 --> 01:06:05,785
ANDY: More funny
stories for Jenny and Mike?

1592
01:06:09,788 --> 01:06:13,448
Yes, yes, you come fucking here.

1593
01:06:13,450 --> 01:06:16,700
Come here, right, all right Andy Bandy,

1594
01:06:17,925 --> 01:06:19,763
how much did you make last year?

1595
01:06:19,765 --> 01:06:24,765
Ball park, what was it, 30,
40, 50, did you get a car?

1596
01:06:24,886 --> 01:06:26,113
Did you get a pension?

1597
01:06:26,115 --> 01:06:27,933
I mean what is the total package?

1598
01:06:27,935 --> 01:06:30,213
Hey, now round it up, be generous.

1599
01:06:30,215 --> 01:06:32,423
What are we talking, a 100k?

1600
01:06:32,425 --> 01:06:33,643
I don't know what you're talking about.

1601
01:06:33,645 --> 01:06:34,795
All right, all right.

1602
01:06:35,935 --> 01:06:37,112
200, eh?

1603
01:06:38,252 --> 01:06:40,919
(KEYS JANGLING)

1604
01:06:42,298 --> 01:06:44,833
There's a Range Rover
round the back of the barn,

1605
01:06:44,835 --> 01:06:49,835
nara bronze metallic, I
want you to take the camera

1606
01:06:49,865 --> 01:06:53,175
and I want you to jam
it behind the rear wheel

1607
01:06:54,015 --> 01:06:56,073
and then I want you to back over it.

1608
01:06:56,075 --> 01:07:01,075
Come back and I will write you
a check for 200,000 pounds,

1609
01:07:01,705 --> 01:07:04,553
right here and right bloody now.

1610
01:07:04,555 --> 01:07:06,255
You want me to break the camera?

1611
01:07:07,483 --> 01:07:08,683
You're a shrewd one.

1612
01:07:08,685 --> 01:07:13,543
All right, all right,
all right, 300,000, huh?

1613
01:07:13,545 --> 01:07:15,593
You will be leaving here
tonight with a check

1614
01:07:15,595 --> 01:07:18,458
for 300,000 pounds, not bad
for 15 minutes work hey?

1615
01:07:19,770 --> 01:07:21,970
But the stuff on there
I need Mike to see.

1616
01:07:26,139 --> 01:07:27,633
Oh, I see.

1617
01:07:27,635 --> 01:07:29,153
I see.

1618
01:07:29,155 --> 01:07:31,348
You crafty little toad.

1619
01:07:32,905 --> 01:07:34,723
I didn't see this fucking coming.

1620
01:07:34,725 --> 01:07:37,903
Who have you been talking to eh, Wiseman?

1621
01:07:37,905 --> 01:07:38,823
The Russians?

1622
01:07:38,825 --> 01:07:40,252
Old man Fletcher?

1623
01:07:42,087 --> 01:07:45,123
All right then, I didn't
you take you for a player,

1624
01:07:45,125 --> 01:07:47,012
my fault hats off to you.

1625
01:07:48,383 --> 01:07:51,718
400,000 my final offer.

1626
01:07:53,145 --> 01:07:56,708
I really do not know
what you're talking about.

1627
01:07:58,835 --> 01:07:59,948
Fuck off!

1628
01:08:01,311 --> 01:08:02,379
Can I get you a glass of water?

1629
01:08:02,381 --> 01:08:04,553
Come here lad, how much
did you make last year?

1630
01:08:04,555 --> 01:08:06,020
Nick, where are you going?

1631
01:08:06,022 --> 01:08:08,772
(GUYS SCREAMING)

1632
01:08:11,157 --> 01:08:13,978
ANDY: Oh dear, why is
everybody staring at me?

1633
01:08:15,985 --> 01:08:19,253
Right, cake everyone
here comes the cake.

1634
01:08:19,255 --> 01:08:22,553
Come on, come on, charge your
glass, get our tummies ready.

1635
01:08:22,555 --> 01:08:24,403
Samantha let's get some plates.

1636
01:08:24,405 --> 01:08:26,063
Andy, Andy!

1637
01:08:26,065 --> 01:08:28,363
I'll take that, I'll take that.

1638
01:08:28,365 --> 01:08:29,196
- No no no.
- Yeah.

1639
01:08:29,198 --> 01:08:31,013
Let the Damien take it.

1640
01:08:31,015 --> 01:08:34,282
- Andy, let Damien.
- Yeah, let me take it.

1641
01:08:34,284 --> 01:08:35,643
Right here we go darling.

1642
01:08:35,645 --> 01:08:38,513
Blow out the candles, don't
forget to make a wish.

1643
01:08:38,515 --> 01:08:40,710
- Yeah, make a wish.
- Make a wish.

1644
01:08:40,712 --> 01:08:43,104
I think I've got one right now.

1645
01:08:43,106 --> 01:08:46,411
DAMIEN: I bet you have sweetheart.

1646
01:08:46,413 --> 01:08:48,802
- (BLOWS)
- Oh hey.

1647
01:08:48,804 --> 01:08:51,430
DAMIEN: Oh, she's good at blowing.

1648
01:08:51,432 --> 01:08:53,065
I hope your wish came true tonight.

1649
01:08:53,067 --> 01:08:54,592
DAMIEN: Ooh, I've been there.

1650
01:08:54,594 --> 01:08:55,425
All right, where's some plates?

1651
01:08:55,427 --> 01:08:56,275
- Can we just cut the cake?
- Hello ladies.

1652
01:08:56,277 --> 01:08:57,108
Who wants a slice of cake?

1653
01:08:57,110 --> 01:08:59,903
- Anyone want some cake?
- I'll be getting mine later.

1654
01:08:59,905 --> 01:09:02,693
Right, well I'll go get
a knife and some plates.

1655
01:09:02,695 --> 01:09:05,052
DAMIEN: Ooh, don't
give me the stink eye.

1656
01:09:06,635 --> 01:09:09,363
Oh, oh, what's going on here, hello?

1657
01:09:09,365 --> 01:09:10,743
Oh you can all fuck off.

1658
01:09:10,745 --> 01:09:12,683
DAMIEN: Oh, you can
fuck off too, sweetheart.

1659
01:09:12,685 --> 01:09:14,068
Your food was shit.

1660
01:09:15,186 --> 01:09:17,626
Oh the caterers are gone.

1661
01:09:17,628 --> 01:09:20,523
DAMIEN: Mike, why don't
you stop doing this now?

1662
01:09:20,525 --> 01:09:22,413
We can see what we've got on the camera.

1663
01:09:22,415 --> 01:09:25,473
Let's here some great Jenny stories.

1664
01:09:25,475 --> 01:09:27,666
Yeah, I think you know we'll find

1665
01:09:27,668 --> 01:09:30,093
what your future wife is really like.

1666
01:09:30,095 --> 01:09:32,113
No, I don't think
that's a really good idea.

1667
01:09:32,115 --> 01:09:34,221
Do tell, absolutely bloody not.

1668
01:09:34,223 --> 01:09:36,043
No, let's not watch the film.

1669
01:09:36,045 --> 01:09:37,963
Let's all have some cake.

1670
01:09:37,965 --> 01:09:40,553
Yeah cake, let's have some cake.

1671
01:09:40,555 --> 01:09:43,593
Son, son, I think we
should watch the home movie,

1672
01:09:43,595 --> 01:09:45,183
- maybe later on.
- Mike, you need

1673
01:09:45,185 --> 01:09:47,993
to get some cables and hook this puppy

1674
01:09:47,995 --> 01:09:49,963
- up to the TV now.
- No.

1675
01:09:49,965 --> 01:09:51,992
Yeah, no, you need to shut the fuck up.

1676
01:09:51,994 --> 01:09:53,509
- Oh ho ho, shit.
- I mean it Damien.

1677
01:09:53,511 --> 01:09:55,943
(LAUGHS) Mike, oh you mean what exactly?

1678
01:09:55,945 --> 01:09:57,747
What's going on with you two?

1679
01:09:57,749 --> 01:09:59,418
Fuck it, give me the fucking camera.

1680
01:09:59,420 --> 01:10:01,673
Giddy up horsey, giddy up.

1681
01:10:01,675 --> 01:10:04,397
- Let me get it.
- Hey Mike, get those cables.

1682
01:10:04,399 --> 01:10:05,230
(GUESTS SCREAMING)

1683
01:10:05,232 --> 01:10:06,489
Get away, get away from the thing.

1684
01:10:06,491 --> 01:10:08,479
That's ours, I mean cranky bugger, okay,

1685
01:10:08,481 --> 01:10:10,167
take a little time to get the top off.

1686
01:10:10,169 --> 01:10:12,263
- I'll have that thank you.
- He said he'd give

1687
01:10:12,265 --> 01:10:14,663
me 10 grand to smash the
camera with his Range Rover.

1688
01:10:14,665 --> 01:10:16,723
Give it here and we'll all split it.

1689
01:10:16,725 --> 01:10:17,556
- No thank you.
- Damn.

1690
01:10:17,558 --> 01:10:19,610
Mike, I'm really sorry
about what I said earlier.

1691
01:10:19,612 --> 01:10:20,926
I was just upset and so upset...

1692
01:10:20,928 --> 01:10:22,263
If you want something
done, do it yourself.

1693
01:10:22,265 --> 01:10:24,538
(STATIC FIZZLES)

1694
01:10:24,540 --> 01:10:29,540
Ooh, I can't open it,
it's like the both of us no.

1695
01:10:29,755 --> 01:10:32,208
- Give it.
- Will you stop everybody?

1696
01:10:34,092 --> 01:10:36,143
Have that Andy, take the camera.

1697
01:10:36,145 --> 01:10:39,162
Right now, all of you, what is going on?

1698
01:10:40,389 --> 01:10:41,222
Mike.

1699
01:10:42,289 --> 01:10:43,122
Mike.

1700
01:10:43,974 --> 01:10:45,474
Colleague, friend.

1701
01:10:47,087 --> 01:10:49,393
We've been partners now for what 15 years,

1702
01:10:49,395 --> 01:10:53,772
trust me, please, let me have the camera.

1703
01:10:53,774 --> 01:10:54,945
- Oh no.
- Michael,

1704
01:10:54,947 --> 01:10:57,275
Michael let him have the camera.

1705
01:10:57,277 --> 01:10:58,562
Michael, listen to your mother.

1706
01:10:58,564 --> 01:11:00,605
I'd give that camera over now Mike.

1707
01:11:00,607 --> 01:11:03,613
Michael, I am your doctor,
my professional opinion

1708
01:11:03,615 --> 01:11:05,203
is that the camera must be given to John.

1709
01:11:05,205 --> 01:11:08,023
No no no Mike, there's
something on there

1710
01:11:08,025 --> 01:11:09,263
you really got to see.

1711
01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:10,878
Damien fuck off!

1712
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:12,293
What's going on?

1713
01:11:12,295 --> 01:11:14,290
Boss, is there any chance?

1714
01:11:14,292 --> 01:11:15,709
Nicky, shut up.

1715
01:11:16,693 --> 01:11:18,685
I'm not gonna get that job now am I?

1716
01:11:19,535 --> 01:11:21,188
Will someone tell me
what the F is going on?

1717
01:11:21,190 --> 01:11:24,630
Michael, I've been shagging
your wife for six months.

1718
01:11:24,632 --> 01:11:27,202
(GUESTS SHOUTING)

1719
01:11:27,204 --> 01:11:28,897
- Shut up!
- Bitch!

1720
01:11:28,899 --> 01:11:31,633
- You shut up.
- Michael, Michael!

1721
01:11:31,635 --> 01:11:32,635
Your mother's dying.

1722
01:11:35,815 --> 01:11:37,798
She's not your mother, I'm sorry.

1723
01:11:39,687 --> 01:11:40,520
What?

1724
01:11:41,715 --> 01:11:44,543
Perhaps we should talk
about the job thing later.

1725
01:11:44,545 --> 01:11:46,073
I'm still free on Thursday.

1726
01:11:46,075 --> 01:11:46,938
No, no Mike, you're not.

1727
01:11:49,835 --> 01:11:50,668
You're out.

1728
01:11:51,635 --> 01:11:53,383
You'll be in New York on the 23rd.

1729
01:11:53,385 --> 01:11:54,993
That's when we sign the papers.

1730
01:11:54,995 --> 01:11:56,878
I'm sorry mate, it's just business.

1731
01:11:57,746 --> 01:12:00,346
HELEN: Yes, sorry Mike.

1732
01:12:00,348 --> 01:12:01,988
- (NICK CLEARS THROAT)
- Nick?

1733
01:12:03,725 --> 01:12:07,007
I'm on there having a
wank in your own suite.

1734
01:12:07,009 --> 01:12:08,376
- Oh Jesus.
- Oh no.

1735
01:12:08,378 --> 01:12:10,748
I'm sorry, boss please, don't fire me.

1736
01:12:11,735 --> 01:12:13,953
I've been bumping off prices for years,

1737
01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:17,189
nothing personal I do it to everyone.

1738
01:12:17,191 --> 01:12:18,393
And that Gambol portrait in your study?

1739
01:12:18,395 --> 01:12:19,748
- Mm?
- Is shit.

1740
01:12:20,795 --> 01:12:21,628
Real shit.

1741
01:12:22,911 --> 01:12:24,269
It's my shit.

1742
01:12:24,271 --> 01:12:25,102
- (GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
- God.

1743
01:12:25,104 --> 01:12:26,033
- Oh God.
- That's disgusting.

1744
01:12:26,035 --> 01:12:28,979
- Number two.
- Did it with my hands.

1745
01:12:28,981 --> 01:12:30,648
- Oh.
- Jesus Christ.

1746
01:12:31,818 --> 01:12:33,818
I have something to say.

1747
01:12:36,485 --> 01:12:38,063
The breasts you grew were not the result

1748
01:12:38,065 --> 01:12:40,073
of a thyroid problem.

1749
01:12:40,075 --> 01:12:42,373
I was supposed to give you betasolipene.

1750
01:12:42,375 --> 01:12:44,773
Instead I gave you betasolipene.

1751
01:12:44,775 --> 01:12:46,208
I'm so sorry.

1752
01:12:47,212 --> 01:12:49,546
But they sound the same.

1753
01:12:49,548 --> 01:12:50,503
I know.

1754
01:12:50,505 --> 01:12:52,353
That was the problem.

1755
01:12:52,355 --> 01:12:54,695
Say bethasolibede.

1756
01:12:54,697 --> 01:12:55,593
Betasolipene.

1757
01:12:55,595 --> 01:12:58,220
Right, now say pathosolimene.

1758
01:12:58,222 --> 01:12:59,153
Betasolipene.

1759
01:12:59,155 --> 01:13:00,643
Sorry mate.

1760
01:13:00,645 --> 01:13:01,903
You grew breasts?

1761
01:13:01,905 --> 01:13:05,290
Yeah, they're going now, but...

1762
01:13:05,292 --> 01:13:08,843
Oh, oh, you're not a fat old fart.

1763
01:13:08,845 --> 01:13:11,013
It just we are just jealous women

1764
01:13:11,015 --> 01:13:14,433
and Jenny is really
lucky to have found you.

1765
01:13:14,435 --> 01:13:15,983
Isn't that right girls?

1766
01:13:15,985 --> 01:13:17,403
Why did you have to say that?

1767
01:13:17,405 --> 01:13:20,603
Because everyone is
making their confessions.

1768
01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:22,298
Yes, but that wasn't on camera.

1769
01:13:23,184 --> 01:13:26,851
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

1770
01:13:30,721 --> 01:13:34,073
Right, I just don't believe this.

1771
01:13:34,075 --> 01:13:36,753
Can I mention at this
point that the vol-au-vents

1772
01:13:36,755 --> 01:13:38,588
were made of cat food?

1773
01:13:38,590 --> 01:13:39,450
- Oh.
- God.

1774
01:13:39,452 --> 01:13:40,498
- Oh God.
- Oh my God.

1775
01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:42,543
(GUESTS WRETCHING)

1776
01:13:42,545 --> 01:13:47,545
Oh dear God.
(GUESTS WRETCHING)

1777
01:13:48,184 --> 01:13:49,684
- Ooh.
- Oh my God.

1778
01:13:51,648 --> 01:13:56,093
- (BATTERY BEEPING)
- I'm sorry Mike,

1779
01:13:56,095 --> 01:13:58,295
but I think the battery
is about to run out.

1780
01:14:01,605 --> 01:14:03,605
(BEEPS)

1781
01:14:10,176 --> 01:14:12,176
(BEEPS)

1782
01:14:14,399 --> 01:14:17,066
(CAMERA WHINES)

1783
01:14:36,895 --> 01:14:38,895
(SIGHS)

1784
01:14:45,550 --> 01:14:48,467
(COMPUTER BEEPING)

1785
01:14:56,046 --> 01:14:56,879
What?

1786
01:15:06,362 --> 01:15:08,445
(LAUGHS)

1787
01:15:34,078 --> 01:15:37,745
(WHIMSICAL ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

1788
01:15:37,747 --> 01:15:42,747