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(MULTICOM JINGLE)
Subtitles by explosiveskull
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Hey, everyone.
First of all, I'd like to start by saying I'm really sorry
that I haven't posted a video in a few weeks.
But the reason is because Matthew has proposed to me.
Yes, so we are officially engaged.
I'm so excited, it's still sinking in.
And look how beautiful my ring is.
I've got loads and loads of videos to show you guys
over the last few weeks, our engagement party and stuff,
so I'll be posting those up when I get a chance.
Another reason why I've been so busy is I am flying
out to the San Francisco meet and greet,
so please, you've all been writing in,
please come along and meet me.
I'm so excited to meet you.
People I've met before, people I haven't.
So please do come along.
All of the details are below of where to come and meet me.
I'm coming out to LA today with my friends Jessica
and Lisa, and we're gonna be doing the Route 101
all the way to San Francisco.
I'm gonna be uploading all the videos,
so stay tuned for those.
You guys love Lisa and Jessica from the Thailand video,
so I'm sure it's gonna be just as crazy as the last time.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
And my Uber is five minutes away, so I'm gonna go.
But please stay tuned for more videos.
Like I said, I'm gonna be uploading them all the time.
Like, subscribe, and follow me.
See you in LA, guys, bye.
I just wanted to show you how gorgeous this is.
So we're traveling over Westminster Bridge at the moment,
and if you look just ahead, you can see the iconic Big Ben
just in front of us.
Okay, so I think it's the next left, just here.
Yep, this one.
And they should be anywhere around here.
There they are.
Actually, just here, yeah.
Can you just pull here?
Thank you.
Hey, ladies.
Hello.
Want a ride, chick?
Oh my gosh, guys, I can't believe that Jess
is wearing sunglasses on a typical gloomy day in London.
- Typical. - Thank you so much.
Oh.
- Hello. - Hello.
Jesus, you took your time.
We've been freezing our tits off out here.
Yeah, Soph, what took you so long?
SOPH: Sorry, I forgot to charge the camera, didn't I?
And then, when the driver came,
I just had to check that I had everything.
Are you okay, Lisa?
- Yeah. - She's been sick all morning.
SOPH: Oh no.
Yeah, I think it was sushi
that I had yesterday at the airport.
Made my belly a bit funny.
- Are you sure you're okay? - Yeah, no, I'm fine.
SOPH: Okay, so, tell me then how was the job in Ibiza?
Yeah, it was amazing.
Not gonna lie to you,
I literally just got paid to party for the whole month.
The guys weren't too bad either, so...
I can't believe it's been a month since we saw you.
SOPH: I know.
So, how many guys did you hook up with then?
SOPH: 10?
A lady does not kiss and tell.
Whatever.
I've already lost count, you dirty bitch.
Oh no, it wasn't even like that.
Anyway, enough about me.
Let's see this ring then.
SOPH: Here it is.
LISA: Oh wow.
Babe, it's stunning.
- Thank you. - Lucky you.
SOPH: He did a good job, didn't he?
LISA: Mm.
SOPH: So, okay, say hello to the camera, girls.
- Hi there. - Hey there.
How is all the vlogging going, babe?
SOPH: Not too bad, thanks.
JESS: You know she's got
over two million subscribers now?
- Are you joking? - No.
LISA: Babe, that's amazing, I'm proud of you.
SOPH: Well, thank you.
Yeah, getting there now, slowly but surely.
So, are you planning on vlogging the whole trip then or?
SOPH: Yeah, definitely.
I'm not gonna risk missing anything epic
like we did last time.
So, girls, wherever we go, the camera goes.
That is cool with me, babe.
Best behavior then, ladies.
- You. - You.
- No, both of you.
- Look at these. - Mm, nice.
But I think I need a bikini body though.
Aw, so cute.
Look at you two.
Oh, Jess.
(CHUCKLES)
I just need to go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna find you guys in a bit.
SOPH: Oh no, are you okay, babe?
Yeah, I'll find you guys in a bit.
SOPH: Okay.
We'll go grab a coffee then, yeah?
Jess.
- Jess. - Huh, what'd you say?
SOPH: Let's go get coffee.
Oh, you're always on your phone.
Come on, let's go.
Jess.
Jess, do you need to get any suncream?
Nope.
You are complete and utter filth, you do know that.
I knew she was gonna do that.
I knew you were gonna do that.
You are so predictable.
JESS: Kiss my ass, baby.
You're probably gonna get arrested
for stalking in a minute, you do know that.
JESS: Oh, don't be stupid, will you?
I'm not breaking any laws.
He is quite hot though, Soph.
Suppose there's no harm in looking.
JESS: Too bad you're taken eh, Sophie?
Hey, like I said, no harm in looking, okay?
JESS: Okay, okay.
Just sowing my seed, that's all.
How is Matt, anyway?
SOPH: Yeah, yeah, he's really good, thanks.
He's with his parents this weekend helping them move
into their new home.
And apart from that, he's busy working.
Saving for the wedding.
Seriously though, you're a lucky girl, Sophie.
Matt's amazing.
All right, easy, Jess.
What, he is.
We're just jealous of you, babe.
Yeah, we're just really jealous of you, babe.
SOPH: Aw, well thanks for the compliments, girls.
And I know.
Your wedding's gonna be amazing.
Firstly, I've always wanted to be a sexy bridesmaid.
And secondly, I'm pretty sure
that Matt's friend Sam wants me, so that's my night sorted.
You literally have no chill do you, girl?
You're only being like that
'cause he's not interested in you.
Wow.
You can be such a dick sometimes.
SOPH: Seriously, you two need to pack it in.
Baby, text me like that.
Oh yeah, text me harder.
I like it, I like it.
Oh fuck yeah, baby, text me harder.
Oh, it's coming.
And it's sent.
SOPH: You are not right in the head.
Have you just figured that one out?
I don't want to be with a guy who's more
into his phone than he is in me.
I see it all the time now.
SOPH: You know what,
maybe they're just both researching something.
I don't think so.
Social media ruins relationships.
I mean, she's probably innocently updating her status
and he's probably inboxing some random girl.
Cheating bastard.
SOPH: This is our massive plan.
Jess, get out my shot.
Thanks.
Keep going.
Shoulder window.
Dammit.
SOPH: Jess gets her own way again.
- You're slow. - Yes, thank you.
- Let me help you with that. - Aw, thank you so much.
What a gentleman.
See?
How's far again?
LISA: Ugh, something like 12 hours.
12 hours?
Good job I was up all night then,
so I can sleep all the way.
LISA: Who was you up with last night then, missy?
SOPH: Come on then, Jess, who were you with?
Ryan.
He came to the bar to see me at work and work was quiet,
so finished early and went back to my...
SOPH: Ryan, after what he's done to you?
How did that even happen?
Oh, I don't know.
He texted me some silly meme thing about relationships,
so I messaged him.
SOPH: Ugh, you're not gonna get back with him, are you?
No, of course not, just miss him, that's all.
The guy is such a dick.
SOPH: Yeah, I agree with Lisa, Jess.
I mean, he did cheat on you.
I mean, you don't even know how many times.
Ugh, the guy is such a loser,
anyway, you can do so much better than him.
I'm not getting back with him.
It's just a bit of sex.
I mean, a heroin addict don't just come off it, do they?
They have to ween themselves off it first,
so that's what I'm doing.
As long as you know what you're doing, babe.
Don't forget how much he hurt you last time.
We just don't wanna see you go through that again.
I actually hate that guy.
I know, I know.
Thanks, ladies, but I know what I'm doing, okay?
Okay, if you say so.
Okay, girls, here we go.
LA, baby.
- Cali, baby. - Cali, baby.
Oh, she doesn't like flying.
- Aw, poor baby. - Baby, doesn't like flying.
SOPH: Aw, don't bother.
You'll be fine, just watch one of the films.
- It's okay. - We're off the ground now.
- I'm sorry, babes. - Aw.
I forgot you didn't like flying.
Oh, and we're going up, ah.
When's the trolley coming with the gin?
- Here we go. - Going up.
SOPH: We're going up, we're going up.
- Bye-bye, London. - Bye.
SOPH: Boy, bye, peace.
(LISA LAUGHING)
Look at the size of that place.
JESS: Bloody huge, innit?
LISA: Is that what you say to all the boys?
(JESS SARCASTICALLY LAUGHS)
JESS: Such a comedian, aren't you?
The buildings are like a cancerous growth down there.
Did you start a big cult philosophy
or something, you weirdo?
JESS: Well, ladies, somewhere down there
is my next get-over-Ryan hookup for the night.
- Yes. - Really?
LISA: Good girl.
Woo, woo.
JESS: Bouncy, bouncy.
Here we are at LAX.
- LA, baby. - LA, baby.
- LA. - LA, LA.
Woo.
We are in America.
We have just left LAX Airport and security is really tight
so I couldn't film inside, but that was fine.
We had to wait ages for Jess's bag.
We thought it was lost, but thank God,
we found it in the end.
It literally only happened to her.
Literally only happened to her.
- Ouch. - God.
Oh, blue skies and sunny shine.
Traffic, look, that's insane.
No way, it's nothing compared to Bangkok though.
Oh god, that trip was nuts.
You remember when Jess almost died down there?
Oh god, yeah, Jess, that was really close.
You were actually really lucky.
That actually wasn't my fault because that guy
came outta nowhere on that tuk-tuk.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
To be fair, we were about 10 liters deep by that point.
Could you imagine that on your headstone though?
Here lies Jessica Louise Taylor, a beautiful human being
who was loved by all, but she was struck down in her prime
by a stray tuk-tuk.
(JESS SARCASTICALLY LAUGHS)
That's not funny.
Ow.
Watch where you're going.
An apology would have been nice.
What an idiot, are you all right?
Dickhead.
That's probably the most action you're gonna get
on this whole trip, Lis.
(LISA SARCASTICALLY LAUGHS)
Not in the mood for your shit today.
Play nice, please, children.
Bay 67, girlies.
- 67? - Yeah.
Keep going.
JESS: If it's any of these ones here...
- Oh my god, it's that one. - Are you kidding me?
- Are we actually? - Oh my god.
LISA: I don't have a bus license.
Are you sure you don't wanna go
for something maybe a little bit bigger, Lisa?
SOPH: I have seen smaller tanks than this, literally.
Look at the size of it.
SOPH: It's massive.
I'm actually gonna need a step-ladder to get on.
(SOPH LAUGHS)
This is for a family of 10.
- Oh, Lisa. - Oh my god.
- Lisa. - So funny.
- Are you happy, darling? - What are you doing?
JESS: Lisa.
SOPH: I'm gonna upload this Friday.
Guys, I can't even touch the pedals.
SOPH: Why have they given us this?
I can't even see over the bonnet.
It's got three rows.
Hashtag small girl problems.
I actually feel like a midget in this.
I can't do it, I refuse to drive this shit.
I'm sorry.
SOPH: I'm actually crying, I can't, I can't deal.
What's the matter, you hoping for something bigger?
Are you joking?
We need to do something about this wagon.
I can't...
SOPH: Actually, we're hoping
she'll grow into it, you know?
Miracle-Gro.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Legging suction.
Hey, we're in LA, surgery is a possibility.
SOPH: Oh, shut up.
Well, you know if you head back to the office
and ask to swap, they'd be up for it.
- That would be good. - That would be perfect.
- Yeah. - Yeah, that'd be great.
- Cheers. - Thank you.
Now that's more like it.
So, this is our car, guys, after that little fiasco.
I think it's perfect, although it's a bit big
compared to what we normally drive in London,
but we'll get used to it, it's fine.
LISA: Thanks, babe.
Now, are you sure you're gonna be all right
in this one, Lisa?
You don't want me to run back
and see if they've got a smart car or anything?
Smart-ass.
Maybe we'll get a two-seater
and we'll lock you in the booth.
- Thank you, Lisa. - That's not very nice.
You'll miss me when I'm gone.
- I don't think so. - Aw, we will.
JESS: Lis, can you please put on the air con, babe?
It's bloody roasty in here.
It is on, babe, I know it is a bit beef jerky in here.
Right, got the address, it's...
No no, can you just wait?
Can you wait?
It's not getting the roam in.
LISA: Well, shaking it
like a salt shaker's not gonna help.
But it might, I need to get the American signal, don't I?
- Lisa? - Mm?
JESS: Can you put the Bluetooth on, please?
LISA: But you better not put any
of that heavy metal crap on, I swear.
JESS: All right, I promise.
I'm sure it'll connect in time.
Bluetooth on.
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC)
- Got it? - Yep.
Oh, for God's sake.
One song and I mean it, I've got a headache as it is.
JESS: Okay, baby doll.
- I trust you. - Right, okay.
- Jess, put your seatbelt on. - Of course, Momsy.
- Girl, safety first. - That's how I like it.
(ALL SHOUTING)
- Oh my god, what is that? - Would you shut up?
Soph, what is Google Maps saying?
SOPH: It's saying to take the next left.
What, left here, yeah?
- (CAR HORN BEEPING) - Not this one!
Oh my god, would you please just
turn that shit music off for one minute and the camera?
I need to concentrate, please.
She's abusive.
SOPH: Yeah, she's not used to driving
on this side of the road, obviously.
Here we are, girls, Rodeo Drive.
LISA: Oo naked.
JESS: Oh my god, look at all these shops.
I love that the palms just line the streets.
JESS: Yeah, how beautiful is this?
SOPH: So pretty.
I love Celine, Celine bags.
LISA: Okay, you need to get yourselves a sugar daddy
on the trip then, that's what I think.
JESS: Probably have about 10 in my phone.
LISA: Of course you do, of course you do.
♪ Bright and wave, Rodeo Drive
♪ Give me a pony
Oh, I love Chanel.
SOPH: Where's that pretty room and shop?
LISA: I think it's coming up on the left.
Oh my god, do your thing, do your thing, Jess, I love it.
Sir, do you guys work on commission?
Yeah, sure, we do.
Big mistake.
ALL: Huge.
SOPH: Mistake.
JESS: Isn't it this one?
Isn't it this one on the corner here?
Well, that was intense.
Tell me, though, how did you stay so calm?
Namaste, bitches.
JESS: Leave that one, babe, I'll get it in a minute.
- Sure? - Yeah, yeah.
You know, it's a good you were driving
or we would've never have got here.
- Watch your head. - Excuse me.
Speak for yourself, Sophie.
- This it? - Yeah.
(DOOR KNOCKING)
JESS: You sure this is the right one?
Can you see anything?
(DOOR RUSTLING)
Hi, can I help you?
Yeah, we have a reservation for tonight
under the name of Sophie Davis.
Oh yeah.
I think it was you I spoke to on the phone the other day.
This is my friend Lisa and this is Jessica.
Hi.
Yeah, sure, come on in.
Thank you.
JESS: Thanks.
- Whoa. - Oh my god.
Oh my.
Look at this view.
Are you serious?
JESS: Sophie.
There's one in the fridge, so.
- Yeah. - Sophie.
Great, thank you so much.
Thank you for everything, thank you, thanks so much.
Have fun, ladies.
- Thank you. - Oh my god.
The pool is so warm. (JESS SCREECHES)
Look.
Guys, guys, you looked at the view?
Soph.
Oh my gosh, look at this view.
JESS: That is insane, babe.
I think that's downtown LA down there.
So, here we are in our LA pad, in the Hollywood Hills.
Can you actually believe it that we're actually here?
- I can't believe it. - Amazing.
This is way better.
We've got a pool.
- We have a pool, ladies. - As warm as he is, man.
Oh my gosh, we can literally sit up here
and have breakfast.
Oh my goodness me, look.
Do you know what?
This is better than it was in the pictures.
- Like way better. - Love it.
I never expected it to be like this.
Should we go inside and have a look inside?
Have a look.
Look at the sultriness in here.
Sophie, you always deliver, baby, that's why we love you.
SOPH: So good.
Team Royalty right here, girls.
♪ This is so nice, la la la
- Someone get me my grapes. - I will feed you your grapes.
The Egyptian-African vibe going on in here.
So sultry.
JESS: Pardon me, ladies, would you like some tea?
Yes, darling, feed me.
That'd be nice after a long flight.
A piano.
I can play the piano for us later.
No, we're good, thanks.
My mom and dad...
My mom and dad would love this so much.
- It's so nice. - So nice, I love it.
JESS: Soph, shall we go see the bedrooms?
Yes, there's only two bedrooms,
so one of you is gonna have to share with me.
- I'll share with you. - Yeah, cool, let's go.
(JESS LAUGHS)
JESS: It really smells in here.
What is that smell?
SOPH: Oh, babe, give me the camera.
It smells like that time I had that house party
and that guy vomited all over my parents' carpet.
Do you remember?
Stunk for weeks.
SOPH: Well, don't just stand there, open a window.
That guy must love to party, man.
It's making me feel sick.
All right, let's go see Lisa's room next.
Anything's gotta be better than this.
SOPH: Thanks, Jess.
JESS: Well, babe, you know what I mean.
I am very grateful.
Ah.
Well, this is an improvement
from the old vom factory back there.
(FAN WHIRRING)
Soph, do you wanna switch with me, babe?
I feel bad.
SOPH: No, no, it's fine.
It's just for one night.
It's somewhere to crash, it's fine.
I'll swap with you.
Oh, let me think about it.
Yeah, I've thought about it, no.
SOPH: Okay, girls, I'm gonna go and message Matthew
and let him know we've got here safe.
Get changed and then we'll head to the Hollywood sign.
- Solid plan. - Yes, sir.
LISA: Oo, this bed's comfy.
- Yay. - Jess, Jess, look.
- What? - Jess, the Hollywood sign.
Quick.
- There. - Hell yeah.
Oh wow, we are so close.
Guys, I have something to show you.
LISA: I'm coming, Jesus.
Look at this.
Look how close we've managed to get to the Hollywood sign.
I didn't even know we could get this close,
I'm so excited to be here.
I've gotta also show you this view over here.
You can literally see the whole of LA from here.
It's...
Lisa, are you all right?
LISA: I can't find my phone.
SOPH: Did you leave it at the apartment?
I swear I had it in here.
I don't know what I've done with it.
SOPH: Well, babe, we were rushing.
I'm sure you've left it at the apartment
and probably on the bed or something.
- Don't worry. - Yeah.
SOPH: Yeah, definitely not in there?
JESS: What's happened?
SOPH: Ah, Lis can't find her phone.
Well, have you checked your bag properly, babe?
Oh, what does it look like?
SOPH: Do you know what?
Maybe it was in your pocket
and it's dropped down in the car.
Let's have a look, yeah?
Jess, you go and do a selfie or something.
We'll be back in a minute.
(SOPH GIGGLES)
LISA: This is so annoying.
I'm sure I had it in my bag.
SOPH: Well, it's not this side at all.
Is it underneath your chair,
dropped down behind, underneath?
Nothing, sure?
Do you know what?
Like I said, babe, I'm sure it's at the apartment.
We'll just look for it when we get back.
- Promise, yeah? - All right.
SOPH: Come on.
Don't let it ruin your day, babe, because look at this.
Ah, she's a beauty.
SOPH: How big does she look close up?
Massive.
How are your selfies going?
Fabulous, as always.
Did you find the phone?
No, I think I left it back at the apartment.
Well, I hope so anyways.
Ah, I'm sure you have, babe.
Don't stress about it for now, 'cause we are here.
- Yay. - Woo-hoo.
JESS: So good.
You checked us in already, you kino?
Of course, what else would I be doing?
Oh, sod it.
Let's have a selfie then.
- Pucker up, you sexy bitch. - If you insist.
Okay, girls, let's have a video as well.
- Ready? - Yes.
After three, Hollywood, baby.
One, two, three.
ALL: Hollywood, baby, woo!
It doesn't get old, right, I still love it.
(ALL GIGGLING)
One sec, hang on.
Excuse me, hello.
Yeah, hey.
Would you please take a photo of me and my friends?
Yeah, yeah, shouldn't be a problem.
SOPH: Excuse me, would you just hold this
and film for me, please?
Is that okay?
Thank you so much, here.
Assume the position, ladies.
The position, ladies.
Assume it, assume it.
Look a little skinny.
All right, smile, ladies.
Hold on.
Just a couple more for good luck.
There we are.
Stop it, you are such a freak.
PHOTO TAKER: Here you go.
- Thank you. - Yeah, sure.
SOPH: I really appreciate it.
Would you mind taking a photo of us?
- I mean... - Of course not, mister.
- Yeah. - My friend and I, do this.
Okay.
- Ready? - Yeah.
Tense those muscles, boys.
Very nice.
Oh, that's hot.
Which one?
Me.
- I guess, already. - So basic.
Well, okay, I mean, so, judging by your accents,
you're not from around here.
Right, is that a good assumption?
Are you guys Australian or?
JESS: Do you like it down under?
- Oh no. - I'm not opposed to it.
I wouldn't say no if given the opportunity.
Okay, too much too soon there, buddy.
JESS: Oh my, oh my.
LISA: No, we're from London.
What about you guys?
- San Fran. - Oh really?
- Yeah. - That's where we're going.
- No way. - Really?
- Yes way. - When?
JESS: Tomorrow.
SOPH: Yeah, we're just doing some sight-seeing here today
and, you know, the obligatory stuff that you do
when you come to LA.
You're seriously spending one day in LA?
SOPH: Oh no, no no no.
- We're coming back next week. - There's a lot to do.
SOPH: Yeah, I know, I know.
We're coming back next week.
There's just something that I really
have to go to in San Fran, that's all.
- Yeah. - All right, well.
Well, we're gonna go down
to the Hollywood Walk of Fame next if...
- Oh yeah. - It's fun.
I mean, it's worth it.
- Probably not today. - What, why?
SOPH: No, you know, we're jet-lagged.
We gotta get up in the morning for San Fran.
Soph, I think it'll be so good, babe.
I think it sounds like a really good idea.
- No? - No.
PHOTO TAKER: Yes?
- Sophie. - Yes.
- Sophie?
SOPH: Okay, okay, fine.
No, I'm totally outnumbered.
I lose there.
Right, so first of all, guys, what are your names?
- Well, I'm Cody. - And I'm Brandon.
- Hi, I'm Jess. - Hi, Jess.
- Pleasure to meet you. - Hi, Jess.
- We kiss in London. - All right.
- I'm your queen. - Okay.
- Hey, I'm not opposed. - Hi.
- Hi, I'm Lisa.
Hi, Lisa.
(ALL CHUCKLING)
We shake hands in England.
- Hello. - In England.
I thought we were in LA.
- Yeah, yeah, you're right. - Yeah, yeah, I am.
SOPH: I'm Sophie.
ALL: Hi, Sophie.
Hi, Sophie.
Well, hey, it's nice to meet you ladies.
So, why don't you follow us and let's get moving?
- Okay. - Yeah?
- Let's do it.
- It sounds like so much fun. - It's gonna be a fun time.
- Yeah.
(BOTH GIGGLING)
CODY: I'll try not to drive too fast,
so, you ladies try to keep up.
LISA: Drive slow, please,
because I get really confused on the wrong side.
BRANDON: He goes fast.
- They are so hot. - I know, tell me about it.
SOPH: If I wasn't getting married,
girls, I definitely would.
Sophie.
SOPH: Don't worry, I'll cut that bit out.
Matthew, I love you, my baby.
Yeah, I definitely would not kick them out of bed.
SOPH: Well, it's a good job you're sleeping
with me tonight then, because I actually don't
wanna be listening to that little scenario.
LISA: Oh, unless you wanna switch with me.
Mm, I'll think about it and see how the night goes.
Just have to work my charms.
LISA: Oh, you're not being serious, are you?
About what?
LISA: About sleeping with the both of them.
Um, don't act all innocent with me, Ms. Lisa.
Like you've never done it before.
I knew you was gonna bring that up.
You know that was with my ex-boyfriend.
That was a long time ago.
I'm not proud of it.
And you know what I'm like when I'm drunk.
Excuses, excuses.
Yeah, well I'm on holiday, so I don't care.
SOPH: You two are unbelievable.
Aw, thanks, babe.
Love ya.
Watch what you're doing unless you want us to die.
JESS: Oh, don't be so overdramatic, will you?
Oh shit, I actually think I've lost them.
What's the sat map saying, how far?
SOPH: Not far, about a mile?
BRANDON: You ladies sure took your time.
If you two hadn't been such dicks and drove off
and left us on our own, you wouldn't be still waiting
like two spare pricks at an orgy, would you?
No, I guess not.
- We apologize right, Brandon? - Yeah, we do.
Good.
You'll have some making up to do then, mister.
I'll look forward to that.
Come on, you guys.
LISA: Hi.
So, I've been meaning to ask you,
what's with all the filming?
Sophie is a YouTuber.
- Yep. - Oh, all right.
SOPH: I film everything.
I've got a friend that does that.
Actually makes some pretty good money at it too.
- Yeah. - Oh really?
I don't think about the money.
I do it because I really love it.
Yeah, but you gotta make pretty good money at it or else...
- Oi. - What?
BRANDON: Or else you wouldn't be here in LA right?
SOPH: Yeah, you can do, I guess.
She's got over two million subscribers.
- Two million? - All right.
SOPH: Jess, stop telling people that.
So, you're famous.
- No, not really. - Yes, she is.
That's why we're going to San Fran,
because there's a big event where all the fans
can meet their favorite vloggers.
- Ah. - Jess.
As you can see, she gets a little bit shy about it.
LISA: Such a whiner.
Enough said.
Can I get your autograph?
Don't you start.
Can you sign something for me?
JESS: You guys are gonna have to join
that big long queue back there.
BRANDON: All right, I'm in.
He's a half-albino.
He's not a full albino.
But you know, most boas are like gray or black or something,
yeah, and most albinos are like yellow and white, right?
The little one keeps looking at me.
SNAKE GUY: She's not gonna bite you,
she's not gonna bite.
They don't have any fangs, no venom.
Okay, oh, he's really looking at me.
He's really looking at me.
One more time.
Okay, here we go, where's the camera?
We're gonna go...
Guys, so we are on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
You can literally see the stars as I walk.
It's insane here.
It's really, really, really busy.
Everyone's having a great time.
We've got Batman back there.
We've got Spider-Man.
Oh, some Marvel character here as well.
Transformers as well.
Everyone but anyone is here on the Walk of Fame.
Guys, you having fun?
- Sure. - Yeah.
Try this though, babe, it is grim.
- What is it? - I don't know.
- It's absinthe. - Oh god, no.
Just try it, it's good for you.
No, thank you.
BRANDON: Yeah, have some.
Oi, oi, girls.
Not a bad price for a cheeky little spin.
We'll drink.
SOPH: No, Lis, you just had a drink.
Oh, don't be soft, just give me some gin,
I mean they're never gonna know.
Oh come on, Sophie.
You only live once, babe, don't be such a spoil sport.
See, Sophie doesn't have a bad bone in her body.
She always does the right thing.
SOPH: Oh, is that so, Jess?
Well, what about you guys?
Eh, you girls go ahead.
We've done this already.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- No worries. - Yeah, we're positive.
We're gonna get something to eat here,
hang out, top these off, and we'll figure out something
when you guys get back.
Well, you heard the man, girls, let's do this.
Guys, look at this car.
Aw thanks, babe, go on, you go first.
Yeah, we need to pay as well.
Aw, look at this car, guys, can you actually believe
we're in Hollywood riding this car?
Hey, we need to pay.
Hope you've got insurance.
- Okay, now where? - It's really low.
- This way? - Where we going?
Straight, girls, woo.
Just having a little cruise in my car, you know?
PASSENGER: See, Hollywood style, ladies.
That's how we do.
- That's how we do. - That's how we do.
LISA: I feel like a rapper, you know?
- She feels like a rapper. - I feel like a rapper.
♪ Versace, Versace, Medusa head on me ♪
♪ And no one can stop me, Ferrari, Ferrari, Ferrari ♪
Oh my fuck.
You actually drove like a boss, babe.
Well, how was it?
JESS: That was fogging amazing.
Did you take any selfies or?
Of course I did.
Literally something to cross off the bucket list.
It was so good.
SOPH: Literally, it was one
of the coolest things I've ever done.
You know, I don't think anything's gonna top that.
- Oh. - Oh, so good.
So, guys, what's the plan now?
You guys been to Venice or Santa Monica?
JESS: Yes.
I mean, well, no, but let's do that.
SOPH: Okay, yeah, it sounds fun.
How far, how far is it?
It's about 15 miles from here,
but we've been drinking a little bit
so let's just take an Uber
if that's all right with you guys.
SOPH: I shouldn't but, guys, I don't mind driving.
Oo, well it's gonna be a squeeze.
I have to lie on your lap.
I don't mind.
(ALL GIGGLING)
- Let's do it. - Come on then.
Okay, guys, so here we are on Venice Beach.
We are literally in hippy town.
I mean, just look over here.
There's like a place where you can actually buy weed.
Apparently, it's legal here.
People are literally smoking weed on the street.
The only thing that I could really think this is like
is Camden in London, but way cooler and by the sea.
Anyway, I think they've gone ahead.
- Come on, babe, let's go. - Come on.
Wow.
Soph, tell Matthew bye-bye.
- Sh. - Yeah, go in there.
SOPH: Sure, thank you so much, thank you.
- Thank you. - Got some popcorn?
Okay though, we may have to cut this bit out.
Matthew cannot see this.
LISA: Never seen anything like that for my life.
- Oh, we see how it is. - Hi.
- Hey. - 'Sup, y'all.
BRANDON: Come on, Cody, this is ridiculous.
- Are you here all the time? - Are you real?
Can I touch you?
He's real, he's actually real.
Wow.
I'm not at the table eating, you know?
- Oh wow. - I'm out here working out.
LISA: You just eat that protein, yeah, all day long?
A lot of that, yeah.
A lot of fish, a lot of chicken.
- Damn. - A lot of hot buns.
- He's got bigger boo... - Yes, oh my god.
He's actually got bigger boobs than Jess.
I eat the brunettes with the zet too, so.
JESS: You know what, guys,
can I just say, are you filming?
Please, just keep filming.
LISA: We're not gonna miss this.
SOPH: Matthew can do far better than that.
LISA: Yeah, sure he can, babe.
Buy yourself something nice.
You've earned it.
Excuse me, take the dollar, baby.
I got some drinks for us.
- Oh yeah. - Drinks.
- Thank you. - Thanks, Cody.
Thank you.
- Cheers, guys. - Oh my gosh, that's so good.
BRANDON: Thanks, this is great, awesome.
- Me and you have to trade. - Yeah, we have to trade.
- Yeah, fuck you guys. - Put some in here for us.
BRANDON: Yeah, yeah.
CODY: Now you guys will wanna share.
BRANDON: Yeah, now I'm gonna fuck you guys up.
With absinthe, that's gonna be grim.
- Jess. - Oh my god.
- You're gonna ruin it. - Jess.
- The green one's really good. - Here, here, have some.
SOPH: No no no no no, thank you, no, no.
Corn dog, corn dog, corn dog, we're trying one.
Wait, wait.
Over here, over here, over here.
BRANDON: This place looks good.
Can I see a menu?
Yeah, it looks awesome.
Oh, are you Sophie?
LISA: Babe.
It's really nice to meet you.
LISA: Give me the camera, give me the camera.
SOPH: Hi, it's really, really nice to meet you.
- All the time. - Oh, you do?
- You are so beautiful. - So are you.
CODY: Wait, what?
It's so nice to meet you too.
CODY: Sophie's really famous?
Can I take a selfie with you?
Oh, of course you can.
- So nice to meet you. - Yeah, nice to meet you too.
- You're beautiful in person. - Aw, thank you.
You're so beautiful too.
- Thank you. - So good to meet you.
Guys, did you wanna get some food here?
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
JESS: Go, Cody.
Come on, baby, show us what you got.
LISA: Go, Brandon.
JESS: Oh yeah.
What's going on over here then?
So, you got enough in your mouth there, babe?
It's girthy.
JESS: You all right, Soph?
Yeah, yeah.
What's wrong?
I just got a text from a random number.
- Really? - What number?
It's just literally a bunch of random numbers.
What are they?
One, one, two, three, one, two, one, five,
one, four, two, seven, one, five, three, six,
one, seven, two, five.
Just literally random numbers.
JESS: It's probably just a wrong number, babe.
Yeah, it must be, hon.
JESS: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh come on. - What are you doing?
- Whoa. - Cody.
LISA: Brandon, stop.
JESS: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. - We do, we do, we do, we do.
LISA: Whoa, dude, come on.
CODY: Let's go, let's go, let's get the heck outta here.
Let's go.
Pamela Anderson's got nothing on me, baby.
CODY: No, she doesn't.
She is literally such a showoff.
Oh, do you know what, fuck it.
- When in Rome, homeboys. - Yeah, let's do it.
- Screw it, let's do it. - Let's do it, let's do it.
SOPH: You are mad, mad.
JESS: Leave the camera.
Come in, babe.
SOPH: No, no.
You guys both have your fun.
As usual.
It's fine.
Screw you all then.
- It's freezing. - Oh my god.
Actually, it's quite nice in there
when you got a handsome man to keep you warm.
Oh, is someone feeling jealous?
(ALL SHOUTING)
SOPH: Stop, no.
I don't know about you lot,
but I could definitely do with another drink.
- Yeah, me too. - Yeah, yeah.
- Same here. - Screw it, Santa Monica Pier.
- Yes. - Yeah.
SOPH: Oh, I dunno, it's getting late.
Oh come on, Soph, just live a little.
- Have a couple of drinks. - Okay, fine.
I could do with a stiff one.
Is Matt coming then?
SOPH: You're really funny, Jess, hilarious.
Shame I can't drink though.
What, why?
Because I'm driving.
Who's Matt?
Matt?
Matt's her fiance.
BRANDON: You're getting married?
- Yeah, did she not tell you? - No way.
Congratulations.
- I say we celebrate. - Let's do it.
Let's celebrate.
Celibacy on this trip, more like.
SOPH: Shut up, Jess.
LISA: Oh, babe.
So, this is Santa Monica.
Yeah, we've got the famous pier here.
Everyone's having a whale of a time.
We've got that wheel that you see in the movies up there.
But the view here is actually really gorgeous.
And then we've got these guys.
Oh, it still tastes so disgusting.
Hey, babe, how's the vlogging going?
You happy with it?
SOPH: Yeah, I'm really happy with it.
I've got some great stuff to edit.
Especially that fight earlier.
Yeah, I know, that was unreal, babe.
Jess, hon, was that a fight?
Jess.
You know, I've never seen anyone
on their phone as much as you are.
I'm just checking us in.
Besides, it's not every day I get
to come to California, is it?
So the whole world needs to see how awesome my life is.
I'm kidding, if you say so.
SOPH: It is getting really late though now, guys.
I think we should head off.
Yeah, Brandon, we better head off together.
Excuse me.
Where do you think you're going, mister?
Back to our hotel?
Um, no.
You're coming with me.
- Um, what about you? - Depends.
What are your plans?
On what?
What are my options?
- Well. - Oh.
- All right then, all right. - Party it up.
- Come on, let's go.
- All right. - Go ahead.
- Yeah. - You ladies lead the way.
- Let's go. - Let's go.
CODY: Let's do it.
JESS: I don't even know where I'm going.
CODY: Let's go, keep walking.
Let's go this way.
(JESS GIGGLES)
SOPH: Sh, guys.
Sh.
LISA: Okay, this is the plan, this is the plan.
We go into the kitchen.
We find alcohol and then we're gonna party.
(ALL SHOUTING)
(LOUD DANCE MUSIC)
SOPH: Guys, this isn't...
Please.
Lisa.
Oh my god, who cares?
- We'll replace it. - We'll replace it, will we?
Fine, I will.
Why are you so boring?
(ALL SHOUTING)
SOPH: Please.
Do you even know what that is?
- We should just light it up. - After you by tomorrow.
CODY: Who cares, who cares?
SOPH: Such a gorgeous view.
Do you know what?
Actually, I don't mind being here on my own.
Peace and quiet.
Except Matthew, I wish you were here.
It's like the city sparkles.
CODY: We got this, bro, let's do it.
(BOYS SCREAMING)
BRANDON: Come on in, come on, come on in, come on.
You guys are fucking out of your minds.
Fucking really.
- Get in, come on. - Get in here.
It's not that cold, get in here, it's not that cold.
LISA: Are you feeling better?
(ALL SHOUTING AND LAUGHING)
Hi, guys.
So I just wanted to do a quick introduction video
to mine and Matthew's engagement party.
(LOUD PARTY MUSIC)
Are you fucking kidding me?
Police today are searching
for the man they're calling the Cryptic Killer.
The death toll is now up to eight women.
And even though the killer likes to leave clues
for the police, the FBI still do not have any idea
who's behind these gruesome murders.
They're asking for anyone with any...
This is exactly what I have to put up with.
So fucking selfish.
Hi, guys, good morning from LA
and I just wanna show you this lovely dress
from London Boutique.
Thank you so much for this.
Perfect for my LA trip, actually.
And great for the summer as well.
If you would like this dress or something similar,
please see the link below to shop online
and use my discount code Sophie Vlogs for 10% off.
Right, let's go and find the girls.
Jess.
(DOOR KNOCKING) Lisa.
Come on, get up.
(DOOR KNOCKING) Get up.
JESS: All right, Sophie.
SOPH: Come on, if we wanna get to Malibu, we need to go.
It's 12 o'clock already.
- Come on. - Bloody hell.
Great, looking fresh.
Come on, get up, Lisa.
Why are you just lying there?
Just give us five minutes will you, Soph?
SOPH: I've already given you five minutes, Jess.
It's 12 o'clock.
Oh, you are joking.
JESS: No no no no no, babe, don't go there, it's blocked.
SOPH: Go use mine.
Get it up, babe, get it up.
SOPH: Do you think she's gonna be all right to drive?
She'll be fine in half an hour.
She's got food poisoning.
Food poisoning?
More like alcohol poisoning the amount you two drank.
All right, I'm gonna go wait in the car, hurry up.
Hi, guys.
So, it's day two in LA and what a beautiful day it is.
But as you can see, the girls aren't here to enjoy it,
because it's nearly 12 o'clock and they're still in bed.
Surprise, surprise, hungover.
But at least I can enjoy this beautiful view.
Look at that.
What a waste of my time bringing them here.
Anyway, besides that, I'm a little bit worried about Lisa.
She's been really ill the last few days.
Although drugs and alcohol probably didn't help last night.
But I definitely don't think I'll be
going on holiday with them again.
Sorry, guys, but I just don't think I will.
Oh, there's a note on our car.
That's weird.
Here she comes, finally.
Oh, I'll get your case then, shall I?
SOPH: Jess, where's Lisa?
She's coming.
So moody.
- Soph. - Yeah?
Promise you won't tell Lisa if I tell you something.
SOPH: No, of course not, what is it?
JESS: Well, after you left, I went into the bathroom
and I found a pregnancy test in the bin.
It was positive.
SOPH: Shit.
Whose would it be?
JESS: I dunno,
but she said slept with a lot of guys in Ibiza.
SOPH: Well, that would explain why she's
been so sick the last few days then.
She's pregnant.
JESS: Should I say something?
SOPH: No.
No, it would just make her feel really awkward
for the rest of the trip.
It would ruin it.
We'll talk to her when we get back to the UK, yeah?
JESS: Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
- Who could be the... - Sh, she's coming.
She's coming.
Aw hello, you, you all right?
Yes, I'm fine.
SOPH: Are you all right to drive, babe?
Yes, I'm fine.
Just hungover.
Nothing I can't handle.
SOPH: So is it just you two then?
Where are the studs?
They had to pick up their car.
They had some friends flying into LA this morning.
SOPH: How predictable.
I knew they were gonna do that.
JESS: Well, it doesn't matter, does it?
I mean, I got what I wanted, so.
SOPH: Yeah, I know.
You were listening?
Lisa, I did not have to listen.
Look.
(PLEASURED MOANING)
Oh my god, that is so embarrassing.
Turn that off, delete it now.
SOPH: So which one of you were screaming
like you were being murdered then?
You can hear her in the back there.
Totally freaked me out as well.
What?
He didn't exactly hold back,
so I was just letting him know I was having a good time.
SOPH: Jess, I don't wanna know.
I bet you do either.
You are such a bad influence on me.
Never again.
Me?
You're the one that got it all started.
SOPH: Seriously, girls, I can't deal with this today.
Please don't start.
Are we going via Malibu or not?
Sure, I mean I still wanna go if Lisa's up for driving.
Yeah, I just think I still
might be a bit too drunk to drive.
No, you'll be all right, babe, just take it slow.
SOPH: Yeah, just take your time.
I mean, it's really not that far to San Fran.
We're not in any rush.
Can you pass me that water please, babe?
- We haven't got any, babe. - Here we are.
So, before we go, which one of you put this on the car
as some sort of joke then?
LISA: It wasn't me.
JESS: Don't look at me, I didn't do that.
Probably just the guys, a prank or something.
SOPH: Maybe.
Oh, speak of the devil.
He's just accepted my friend request.
Got a little comment on my post.
SOPH: Lisa, did you actually find your phone?
No.
Fuck knows where I left it.
Probably on the plane or something.
SOPH: Shit, I'd be right upset.
You all right about it?
Yeah, just sad about all my photos and numbers and that.
Oh actually, can I use your phone to call my dad later?
SOPH: Yeah, of course you can.
JESS: Lost your booty call is more like.
(JESS GIGGLES)
SOPH: Are you all right, Jess?
Are you okay, little miss driver?
Yeah, I'm powering through.
But we should just give Malibu a miss, girls.
SOPH: Yeah, that's fine by me for today.
Jess, is that all right with you?
- Jess? - What, sorry, what?
We're gonna give Malibu a miss,
since she's still not feeling great.
Yeah, fine, whatever, I'm easy.
- We know. - Hilarious.
SOPH: Oh my god, you've got to be kidding me, no.
LISA: What?
SOPH: The sat map's just added four hours
onto our journey.
Now it's eight hours instead of four.
- Four hours? - Are you joking?
SOPH: It's just a completely red what we're in now.
It just goes on for the whole route pretty much.
LISA: Well, what are we doing?
I'm not sitting in this traffic.
SOPH: It's fine, I'll pay for us to stay
at a motel or hotel thing for the night.
- Jessica, Google somewhere. - Yeah, yeah.
I'll have a look, yeah.
SOPH: Cheers. (PHONE VIBRATING)
- What? - What now?
SOPH: I just got a text off that random number again.
LISA: Again, what does it say?
SOPH: Same as last time.
A bunch of just random numbers.
JESS: Sophie, just delete it.
It's probably just spam.
Yeah.
Girls, should we stop for coffee while we're stuck anyway?
- Oh my god, please, yes. - Yeah, that'd be nice.
SOPH: Be good.
- Look at this view. - This scenery is insane.
- Look at it. - It's so dramatic.
- What's wrong? - You've got to be kidding me.
- What, you got another text? - Yeah.
- A bunch of numbers again? - No.
It says the person who buys me doesn't need me.
The person who makes me doesn't want me.
And the person who uses me can't appreciate me.
What am I?
LISA: What?
All right, someone clearly has no life.
The person who uses me can't appreciate me.
It's a riddle.
- A riddle? - Yeah.
I used to do these all the time.
LISA: Oh, bloody hell, Riddler on the Roof.
(ALL LAUGHING)
JESS: Well, typey, typey, Ms. Mezner's got it.
LISA: What did you just say?
- Ms. Mezner. - It's Mensa, you idiot.
JESS: Oh, I thought it was Mezner.
LISA: Well, you're clearly not
in the top percentage, are ya?
JESS: Well, leave me alone, Lis.
- I got it right. - What was the answer, babe?
- It's a coffin. - What?
Oh, that is so creepy.
Who would text you that?
SOPH: I don't know.
LISA: I reckon it's someone back home winding you up.
SOPH: Yeah, I hope you're right, Lis.
- Oh shit. - What?
- I just bloody... - Jess.
- Be careful with my camera. - All right.
Calm down, Sophie.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
SOPH: What?
- Make a loop? - Yeah.
SOPH: Lis, we just passed a gas station.
I know, I know, I know.
We're gonna have to just hit the next one.
And I need some snacks.
JESS: She needs some snacks, of course she does.
LISA: Oh my god.
SOPH: Lis, can you do the windscreen wipers, please?
No, babes, we were out of that water about five miles ago.
SOPH: You are kidding me, you know it's illegal here?
- You serious? - Yes.
- Oh, now it's illegal. - Oh no.
Mountain police.
Oh, the mountain police.
How was your trip to LA?
Oh, we got arrested because we had no water.
Oh my god.
- What is that? - Oh my god.
SOPH: Yeah, that sounds like a flat tire.
- Yeah, shit. - Lis, pull over up here.
- No way. - Please.
Oh great, no water, flat tire.
Yeah, we're gonna have to pull over here, guys.
Oh, emergency stopping only.
Well, yup, this definitely is an emergency, people.
Oh.
- Well? - Sake.
- Yup, it's flat. - Great.
What are we gonna do now then?
Well, did they give us like an emergency number
to call or something?
SOPH: Yeah, they left it on the sheet they gave you.
Hold on.
SOPH: You found it?
It's not in my bag.
SOPH: Huh?
What did we do with it?
SOPH: We?
Lis, you were the one who had it last
when we left the rental office.
No, I gave it to Jess when I walked out.
- Oh my god. - No, you didn't.
Yes, I did, you're just always losing shit
and then blaming other people.
Oh my god, Lisa, what the hell?
No, I didn't, and you're a fine one to talk.
You can't keep a boyfriend for longer than a week.
What did you just say to me?
I think you heard me, Lisa.
You have been winding me up all day.
- Great. - Fighting's not gonna help.
Is it?
And now my nose is bleeding.
I didn't mean to hit you in the face did I, Lisa?
SOPH: Oh, stop being dense, shush.
Honestly.
We gotta get this sorted out.
What?
Stalk someone down.
I don't know, Soph, someone's gonna stop.
We're three girls, for Christ's sake.
SOPH: You do know what, that is not a bad idea, Jess.
But for now, can you two just make up?
'Cause I am so sick and tired
of you both constantly arguing.
You're ruining the whole holiday.
I'm sorry, Soph.
Sorry, Soph.
SOPH: Right, okay, well let's take it
in turns to flag someone down.
But right now, Jess, can you hold this?
I'm gonna go take Lisa somewhere to clear her nose up.
JESS: Where are you gonna do that?
- There was a restroom. - I can go on my own.
SOPH: No, there was a restroom about half a mile back.
So, hello to Sophie's fan group.
This is Jess and we are reporting live from the side
of the road because we've broken down
and we have a flat tire.
Awesome.
But luckily we have this total babe
who is helping us fix our tire.
This is his car.
The traditional American Mustang.
And as you can see, I have matched myself perfectly
to the vehicle just for your own viewing.
Bit of black and gold going on here.
So yeah, pretty much that's it.
I'm gonna go show you our little cowboy over here.
Fixing our tire.
Well hi there, cowboy, what's going on?
Hey, hi.
JESS: So, we stupidly did not check for a spare tire.
You know.
COWBOY: Don't worry, you're not the first to do that.
JESS: Oh hey, girlies.
This is the lovely Jake.
- Oh, hi. - Hey, how are y'all?
JESS: He's helping us fix our tire.
- Ah. - We're all good.
LISA: So it was just a puncture then, yeah?
JAKE: Sure was.
You had a few nails stuck in your tire.
JESS AND LISA: Nails?
JAKE: Yeah.
JESS: How the hell did that happen?
Ah, it's a common thing, really.
They fall off the back of trucks and stuff.
JESS: Really?
People just come along and scoop them up.
It happens.
God, never heard of that before.
- Amazing. - So, where you girls headed?
We are going to San Francisco.
- San Fran, huh? - Have you been there?
Yep, sure have.
- I have family in San Fran. - Really?
As you can tell, I'm not from around here.
LISA: Yeah, whereabouts you from?
- I'm from Texas. - Texas, cowboy.
SOPH: Oh, I love Texas.
Whereabouts?
A small town near Austin.
LISA: Nice.
JESS: I like The Real Housewives of Texas.
So, what you doing in Cali then,
apart from helping strange women with their car?
Well, I just come out here for a little road trip
and picking up some weed.
- Nice. - Any of you girls smoke?
- No, no, thank you. - Eh.
You more than me, babe.
Shouldn't, but I will.
It's legal here anyway, innit?
JAKE: Knock yourself out.
Yeah, it's legal, so why not?
JAKE: It's all legal here, ma'am, yes.
SOPH: Not legal in England.
Well, it's not the worst place
in the world to stop, is it?
I mean, that view is pretty spectacular.
Oh, bloody hell.
Good, huh?
SOPH: What a rockstar.
I think we should probably go.
Do you think so, girls?
You can keep that, that's a souvenir.
Ah, thank you, dude.
You're welcome.
It was nothing.
Anyway, enjoy your road trip.
Thank you for your help.
- And you, girls. - Yep, thanks.
- Aw, check out my souvenir. - That's cool, very nice.
So, where you girls staying?
You scared the hell out of me.
Didn't mean to scare you.
Well, we're going to that motel.
Oh, I can't remember.
Some motel I Googled.
Just up the road, really.
A really quick stop.
All right, girls, I'll see you around.
Thanks so much again, take care.
Aw, bless.
Where did you find him?
Did he literally just stop?
Yeah, I mean, I was just like,
not long after you guys left, I was just waggling my legs
on the road and...
Did you have to get your tits out or?
Maybe.
(JESS GIGGLES)
Look, I'm sorry for earlier.
I'm well aware I was being a dick.
Yeah, babe, I'm really sorry.
I totally like went crazy on you.
I'm really sorry.
Didn't mean to do it.
LISA: Let's get rolling then, girls.
Yeah.
Bloody hell.
LISA: Jesus, look at that rim spin.
In the red.
- Only in America, right? - I know.
- Looks like an angry car. - Sounds like an angry car.
Wow. (TIRES SCREECHING)
That guy was weird, wasn't he?
What?
He was all right.
SOPH: Jess, the guy was a creep.
Oh my god, you guys are so soft.
He was fine.
SOPH: Well then, why was he asking
where we were staying then?
Well, maybe he wanted to make conversation
with you, Sophie, chill.
I personally think we should turn around and go back to LA
'cause today has just been a nightmare.
SOPH: Are you kidding me, Lisa?
The whole reason why we've come out here
is so I can go to this fan meet
and greet all the way in San Fran.
We're not turning back now, all right?
Okay, fine.
SOPH: Oh my god.
JESS: What's wrong?
SOPH: I've just got a text off your phone, Lis.
LISA: Mine?
What, are you joking?
Tell me you're joking.
JESS: How the hell has someone got your phone?
- Someone must have found it. - Yeah, but who though?
JESS: What's it say, what's it say?
Read it.
SOPH: It says I am greater than God,
more evil than the Devil.
The poor have me, the rich need me.
If you eat me, you'll die.
What am I?
This is really starting to freak me out now.
Who the fuck is sending these messages?
What even is the fucking answer anyway?
Look out! (CAR HORN HONKING)
SOPH: Oh my god.
LISA: Who the fuck would just do that?
JESS: Absolute wanker, oh my god.
SOPH: Is everyone all right, girls?
- Oh my god. - Yeah.
God, my heart.
Sorry, girls, I literally didn't know how to save that.
SOPH: Honestly, it's just one thing after another.
That scared the shit out of me.
There's something seriously not right here, girls.
I'm sorry, but...
SOPH: I just wanna get out of here.
Can we just please just go?
Just carry on?
LISA: Oh my god.
SOPH: I think we should call the police.
And what exactly is that gonna do, Sophie?
They're not gonna believe us.
And even if they do, they're not gonna trace
some random ass guy sending prank text messages, are they?
SOPH: Well, maybe it was one of those two guys
you were fucking last night.
Oh shut up, Sophie.
Just, all of you, just let me drive in peace.
♪ Wee oo wee oo woo
♪ Wow wow wow
JESS: You're gonna see a roadrunner.
- Meep meep. - Tumbleweed, tumbleweed.
- And draw. - We could be terrible,
terrible cowboys, girls.
- Cowgirls. - Shit.
- What? - Oh my god.
SOPH: Oh no, no.
Oh fuck, what?
The sat map said it's literally .2 of a mile away.
- What the hell is going on? - I don't even care.
I'm gonna get us there on a flat.
- Oh my god, our luck. - We are not stopping.
SOPH: No, exactly.
So, lightning does strike twice then.
But let's look on the bright side,
girls, at least we're here, eh?
Yeah, but we haven't got another spare.
What do we do?
SOPH: I'm gonna go into reception
and ask them if they can call someone out.
Don't worry, I'll sort it.
- Okay, girls? - Okay.
SOPH: Right, I'm gonna go in and ask and get the keys.
Who's sleeping on their own tonight?
I'll sleep on my own.
SOPH: Are you all right with that, Lis?
Yeah, whatever.
You need to come with me then,
Jess, you gotta sign for yours.
- Okay. - Shall I take the camera?
SOPH: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
Thank you.
LISA: Been trusted with the camera.
Oh look, there they are.
Little Miss Riding Hood and the evil twin.
So, are we sorted?
Yup, room eight and 15.
He said to just go and park around the back there,
there's spaces there.
LISA: No, babe, I meant about the flat.
Oh no, they can't get anyone out till the morning.
LISA: Great.
What time?
I dunno.
- First thing, I guess. - How hot was that guy?
- Oh, what guy? - The guy in reception.
He wasn't that hot.
Yeah he was, Soph, you would.
I wouldn't.
LISA: Oh, someone's got shy.
- Windy. - Why thank you, Lisa.
I'm guessing there's no porter service in the desert then.
JESS: Only you, darling.
Jesus, what have you got in here, Sophie?
JESS: It's Ryan.
I didn't wanna leave him.
I wouldn't actually put it past you, you freak.
(ALL GIGGLING)
- Oh god. - Room 15, Jess.
This is yours.
I'm only one row going on here.
Don't film it.
Oh, 70's vibing, I likey, I likey.
JESS: Oh damn, vintage.
- Real classy. - I like it.
- Well. - Well, actually.
I really quite like it, no?
Babe, you're the one who chose it.
(JESS LAUGHS)
JESS: Guilty.
Shall we go and see your room, ladies?
- What was it? - Room eight.
JESS: Yeah, a couple doors down, should be.
LISA: It's not a couple doors down.
It's like 14 here.
- Keep going. - Jesus, it's ages.
I'll have to catch a bus to get to the bloody room.
(JESS GIGGLES)
SOPH: This one is much nicer.
LISA: Oh, lemon cello.
JESS: Lemon?
Mustard more like, babe.
Very interesting combination of colors.
We have the turquoise and mustard.
Very nice.
- Art Deco. - Mm, extremely.
Oo, look at the TV, very cool.
Vintage.
(JESS GIGGLES)
Oh my goodness. (CLASSICAL MUSIC)
Oh really, Lis?
This song is so depressing.
If you don't like it, put your headphones in.
No, I like this, good choice, Lis.
The bed's quite comfortable, actually.
- Useful. - Here, give it here.
Thank you.
JESS: This place is all right
though innit, for one night?
LISA: Girls, that journey has killed me.
I'm so knackered.
JESS: Yeah, after last night, that doesn't surprise me.
(JESS LAUGHS)
LISA: Shut up.
What you doing there?
SOPH: Jess.
Oh my god.
- Your laugh is so evil. - It's so, so evil.
And where do you get all this energy from all the time?
You know, I might invite that cute guy
from reception over later for a little nightcap
and you two lovebirds crash for the night.
SOPH: Oo, well if you wanna do that,
I'd be quick if I was you.
I reckon he changes over for the night shift.
Good point.
SOPH: Right, should we go for a walk
and leave this little sleepy head to it?
JESS: Yeah.
- See you, girls. - Bye, little sleepy girl.
- Bye-bye. - Night-night.
♪ Da na na na na na
♪ Na na na
JESS: Can I try?
I've got a better version.
SOPH: Oh, of course you do.
Do you even know what that is?
JESS: No.
It's the national anthem, The Star Spangled Banner.
- Actually. - I've got a better one.
You ready?
Five, six, seven, eight.
♪ American woman
♪ Get away from me
♪ American woman
♪ Momma let me breathe
SOPH: The crowds are coming.
Just so creative.
So, we are in the middle of a desert.
Also, it feels like we've left little miss...
What are you doing?
That's not really my best angle, babe.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
We've left little miss sleepy head in the motel room
that this one chose.
- It's... - Beautiful.
Yeah.
Vintage, original, gorgeous, five stars.
I'm not letting you ever choose again ever.
Don't thank me too much, guys.
Look at the mountains, they're all the way over there.
These mountains?
Oh, you're such a ripping little dog.
This is such a cute little gas station.
- Sophie. - Hang on.
I'm just filming the gas station, Jess.
Never get anything like this in England.
I am, literally smack bang in the middle of nowhere.
Sorry about her, she just loves taking selfies.
You kids and your fucking cellphones.
It's the worst generation ever.
It's ruined so many damn relationships.
Ugh.
You know, vanity can be a cruel mistress.
- Jess. - Hey.
SOPH: Jess, come on, let's go.
Matthew and his friends are gonna be here any minute.
You look fucking familiar.
SOPH: Come on, Jess.
Hey, bitch, you look fucking familiar.
- Come on, come on. - Quick.
ANGRY MAN: Where you going?
Where you going?
SOPH: Jess, have you seen this sink?
JESS: Yeah, I know, it's rank innit?
It's gross.
Look at that plughole.
They haven't cleaned this since the last people
or the last 10 people.
(BOTH GIGGLING)
Do you think it would be really mean of me
if I gave them a bad review?
JESS: No, babe, they need a bad review.
They need to turn this place around.
It's gross.
Yeah, it is.
JESS: Oh, by the way, you gonna fill me in
with your little episode that you had earlier?
I mean, that guy I saw you talking to.
Oh, I dunno who he was.
Whoever he was, he was an absolute psycho.
A psycho?
Jesus, Sophie, I swear you get
the weirdest vibes up on guys.
Jess, you saw the way he spoke to us.
He was just staring
and looking at you the whole entire time.
And then when he spoke to me
and I didn't answer, he just snapped.
JESS: Yeah, I guess that is a bit weird actually.
What was it he said to you again?
Well, it's not really what he said.
It's how he said it.
Wouldn't be surprised if it was him
who's been creeping us out this whole time.
Oh come on.
I doubt that.
You're probably just overthinking things as usual, missy.
I mean, babe, some people, they're just like that, you know?
They're just a bit weird.
And especially around here, it's full of weirdos.
You should take it as a compliment really, babe.
I mean, you're hot stuff.
We're hot stuff.
And you can't really blame a guy for staring.
I mean, just look at me.
Woo.
Jess.
I don't wanna see that, nor does the camera.
JESS: Sure you do.
No, but I'm being serious.
I've got some weird vibe going on now.
You know what, maybe we should just move on tonight.
What?
You are so silly.
Honestly, babe, we're gonna be fine.
You're overthinking things.
You've gone way too much.
Can I have that towel, please?
Where is it?
SOPH: Well, babe, it's right by the side of you.
- Oh, sorry. - That's all right.
Thanks, Soph.
Right.
But honestly, babe, we're gonna
be absolutely fine here, okay?
We're only here for one night.
It'll be fine.
SOPH: Yeah, you're right.
Of course I'm right.
Anyway, are you hungry?
Because I've got the hungover munchies.
So, what do you say we go wake up Lis and get some food?
SOPH: Oh, I don't think we should wake her up.
She's so hungover, Jess.
Oh yeah, probably best not to, actually.
All right, we'll just grab her
a burger then should we, babe?
SOPH: Yeah, it shouldn't be all that far, I don't think.
Okay, cool.
I'll get dressed then, we'll go.
(ROCK MUSIC)
Diner it said.
JESS: Yeah, but what would Lisa want?
Can't choose anything.
JESS: Well, if you say so.
- Yeah. - She's so fussy.
What are you gonna get?
Hm, I think I'll go for the healthy option today.
- Burger and fries? - Hm, me too.
SOPH: Hi, a table for two, please.
JESS: Mm.
SOPH: Oh my god, babe, you weren't joking.
You're giving me indigestion just looking at you.
The salt is so good.
Do you want to try some?
SOPH: No, oh, I don't like hot stuff.
Just Matt then, eh?
SOPH: Watch it, you.
You've already had a fight with one of us today.
Yeah.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
Hm.
The guys just uploaded a photo of us.
All hashtag hotties.
Good one, that.
- Not a bad pic. - Not yet.
- Fuck. - What?
Sophie.
It's that guy from earlier.
SOPH: Nice try, Jess.
Sophie, I'm being serious.
SOPH: Where is he?
Okay, don't make it obvious.
He's sitting at the bar behind you.
SOPH: He's staring straight at us.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
He's staring right at us.
SOPH: I mean, I don't, I wanna go.
We have to go, we have to go.
Let's go, let's go.
- I told you he was a psycho. - Is he following us?
- Or was that just coincidence? - God, I don't know, Jess.
JESS: For Christ's sake,
I'm too hungover for this shit right now.
Maybe you're just being paranoid.
I'm not being paranoid, okay?
You saw the way he was looking at us.
Anyway, he's not following us now.
Just turn that off.
(BOTH PANTING)
JESS: Inside, Sophie.
Oh, where the hell have you two been?
I am so hungry.
Can we please get some food?
What's going on with you two?
We just went to get some food.
We thought we'd let you sleep.
Right.
Why are you both out of breath for?
Well earlier, when we were at the gas station,
this guy was just standing there, staring at Jess.
And then when he spoke to me, I didn't speak to him back.
He just snapped at me.
That same guy, he was just in the diner we were in.
JESS: I told her she's just being paranoid.
I'm not being paranoid okay, Jess?
All right, babe, look.
I'm sure it's nothing.
Don't worry.
Oh, and cheers by the way
for trying to shit me up earlier, Jess.
JESS: What are you on about?
You know, I've heard your little ghost story.
I'm not that gullible, girls.
What is it?
Jess trying to shit me up with this.
JESS: I didn't do that, Lis.
LISA: You are such a bad liar, Jess, I swear.
SOPH: Look.
LISA: What?
SOPH: That's the note from the car.
Shit.
I forgot about that.
JESS: Who the fuck would follow us
all the way here to do that?
All right, I'm gonna go to reception
and just check who else is staying here.
Just, I'll be right back, okay?
Soph?
I didn't hear anything like cars or anything.
JESS: I'll be right back.
SOPH: Where did you find it?
I literally just woke up to use the lieu
and it was just lying down there on the mat.
SOPH: What, like someone maybe dropped it by mistake?
Doesn't look like a mistake though, does it?
And?
No, there's no one there.
Just this note that says he's been called away
on a family emergency.
LISA: Another fucking note?
Let me see.
Fuck's sake.
I don't know, Sophie, maybe it's one
of your crazy ass fans or something.
SOPH: Yeah, but if it is, it's a pretty sick joke.
Yeah, exactly, let's not freak out about this.
Like, let's think about it logically.
Those YouTube prank videos,
they're proper popular at the moment.
What about that guy that changed our tire earlier?
Like, he was weird.
JESS: You've gotta be kidding me.
Now we've got another suspect.
I don't know, it's just we got another puncture.
That shit happens twice,
it's just too much of a coincidence.
Girls, at first, honestly, I was scared.
But now, like, come on, this is ridiculous.
It's gotta be a prank, girls, it's just gotta be.
Let's not freak out over some stupid written notes like.
(PHONE VIBRATING) We've had a fucked up day.
We're all tired.
Let's just get a good night's sleep
and we'll deal with the puncture tomorrow
before San Fran, yeah?
SOPH: Okay.
- Lisa? - Yeah?
What the fuck is this?
LISA: What?
You bitch.
LISA: Excuse me?
You dirty fucking bitch.
- What? - What the hell, Jess?
- Check my timeline. - What is it?
So, when were you gonna tell me you fucked Ryan then?
- What, I didn't? - You didn't?
You are so full of shit.
- I didn't. - Someone's posted a picture
of you and Ryan in bed together on...
I didn't do it.
Don't fucking lie to me, Lisa.
- Fuck. - Just tell her, Lis.
How could you do that to me?
You knew how much I loved him.
I swear, you need to believe me
that it wasn't even fucking like that.
Look, I wanted to tell you, but it just...
- How many times then? - What?
Say what one more time,
I swear, I'll rip your fucking eyes out, Lisa.
How many times?
I swear to you, it wasn't even like that.
Like he was chatting shit to me when we were in the club
and I know I shouldn't have said anything
- but it was just... - No no no no no no.
No no no.
Of all the guys you could have slept you,
you chose to sleep with Ryan?
What the fuck is wrong with you, Lisa?
I'm supposed to be your best friend.
I'm so sorry.
I literally I don't even know what to say to you.
I just feel sick.
You feel sick?
Is that why you took that pregnancy test?
What you mean?
Calm down, you're not making any sense.
Don't tell me to fucking calm down, Lisa.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
Soph.
You knew about this?
SOPH: Well, of course I didn't.
Sophie.
Please tell me.
Sophie, you're just as bad as her.
Someone has uploaded photos
of your entire conversation online.
Don't fucking lie to me.
Sophie, did you know?
SOPH: Jess, I'm sorry, I did.
I was in the middle of it.
I didn't know what to do.
I'm so sorry, I am.
I actually trusted you.
Turn that fucking camera off.
I'm the fucking worst, aren't I?
SOPH: Fucking asshole.
Do you think she'll ever forgive us?
SOPH: Honestly, Lis, would you?
I need sleep.
SOPH: I'm just gonna let her calm down for a bit,
go and see her later.
Oh god, this is a nightmare.
LISA: Sophie.
- Soph. - Yeah.
LISA: Soph, wake up.
I think I can hear someone at the door.
Is it Jess?
LISA: I don't know.
Well, go and check in case it's Jess.
I can't see shit, it's just black outside.
SOPH: Just open the door.
Just check it's not Jess.
(WIND HOWLING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
Anything?
- What the fuck? - What?
Well, whose phone is that?
It's mine.
SOPH: What?
I fucking swear to you this is my phone.
- How? - Oh my god.
SOPH: How has your phone got there?
Someone's been following us.
Look.
Photos of our trip.
Look, when we were in the Ferrari.
SOPH: He's been following us this whole entire time.
LISA: Oh my.
What the fuck?
There's a video.
Shit, that's in the apartment.
SOPH: Sick.
LISA: Oh my god.
Fuck.
Literally right outside, right outside our fucking door.
SOPH: How, how does somebody know where we are?
LISA: Oh my god.
Sophie.
- Sophie. - He's inside.
LISA: Oh my god.
SOPH: He's going to my room.
He's going into my room.
LISA: He got into our apartment.
He was in our apartment.
(SOPH WHIMPERS)
Oh my god.
- Oh my god. - Fuck.
Oh my god, shit.
Fuck.
SOPH: That's what those texts,
that's what those numbers were.
What you mean?
SOPH: They're times.
- On a timeline. - The text messages.
SOPH: Look on Jess's timeline.
Look.
LISA: It was when she was checking us in.
SOPH: Yeah, it's where she's posted.
LISA: Every check-in, look, the numbers.
Are they the right numbers?
They're the fucking same numbers.
SOPH: I'm gonna go and get Jess.
Shit, the battery has just died.
We need to get the fuck out of here.
I can't believe this is happening.
I just wanna get to San Fran now.
This just literally can't get any worse.
(DOOR CREAKS)
Jess.
(HEAVY FOOTFALLS)
(SOPH YELLS)
Help.
Lisa.
Lisa, help.
What is happening?
What?
What the fuck?
What's happened to Jess?
Babe, please, calm down, I can't understand you.
What?
- He's here, he's here. - Oh my god.
Fuck.
Fucking lock the door.
Lock the fucking door.
Fuck.
Oh my fucking god.
Fuck, fuck, okay.
SOPH: She's really gone, he's outside.
Sh, you need to calm down.
You need to just be quiet for a minute.
Be quiet for a minute.
SOPH: We need to get in the car.
No, we can't, we can't.
There's a fucking puncture in the car.
We're not gonna get far.
- He's probably fucking... - What's happened to Jess.
We really have to go.
He's probably down there waiting for us.
SOPH: It's all my fault.
We need to barricade the door, babe.
Help me, put the camera down, help me.
Sh, it's okay.
Fucking...
The fuck.
Go to the kitchen.
Just grab fucking anything.
I'll fucking stab him if I see him,
I swear to fucking god.
(METAL CLANGING) Fucking.
It's gonna be okay.
Just breathe.
It's okay, babe.
I need you to just stay strong.
I can't do this without you, Sophie.
Please, please, just try and calm down.
SOPH: We're gonna die in here, Lisa.
No, no, we're fucking not.
Don't stop filming.
Whatever you do, fucking keep filming.
The camera is our fucking lifeline right now.
No matter what the fuck happens to us,
that footage can fucking save us.
How much battery have you got left?
SOPH: Not much.
(DOOR BANGING)
Fuck.
You fucking sick fuck.
(LISA SHUSHING)
I think he's gone.
Fuck, fuck, get fucking down, he's outside.
The fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Fuck.
Oh my god.
Fuck, fuck, I just fucking saw him.
He's fucking outside.
Oh my fucking god.
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
Sh.
Sh, Sophie.
Just keep quiet.
Sophie, listen to me.
Listen to me, we are gonna die if we stay here, okay?
We need to get out of this fucking room.
SOPHIE: Turn the music on, turn the music on.
We gotta run, Lisa, okay?
- (UPBEAT MUSIC) - Are you ready?
We need to run.
Sophie, we need to make a run.
Are you ready?
Go.
Just run!
SOPH: Okay, okay.
Just get into the car.
It won't turn on.
He's fucked with the car.
He's fucked with the fucking car.
It won't fucking start.
It won't start, it won't fucking start.
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
I love you, Mom and Dad.
I love you so fucking much.
Oh god, I'm so sorry if I ever hurt you.
Oh god, I hope you never have to see this video.
I don't wanna die.
Oh please.
And, Matthew, baby, I love you, so, so, so much.
Thank you for being the most amazing boyfriend
I could ever wish for.
Thank you.
The way you hug me to sleep every night.
God, just being there.
(SOPH SOBS)
There is one more thing, baby.
I'm pregnant.
I am so sorry.
I wanted to tell you when I got
back to the UK but I'm sorry.
(DOOR BANGING)
I'm ready for you.
I'm ready for you, you sick fucking bastard.
Come on.
(SOPH'S SKULL CRUNCHING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC)
♪ I have seen what's left for all the rest of you ♪
♪ And it's not what you think that it will be ♪
♪ For the gift and the curse of what's been shown to you ♪
♪ I can't believe what I feel it is taking ♪
♪ Never give, never bend, it's all a lie to you ♪
♪ And all you do is seem to remind me ♪
♪ Of all the times and the ways I would have died for you ♪
♪ And this is all of the thanks that you'll show me ♪
♪ If you would show
♪ The light for me
♪ The things I'd known
♪ That now I'd see
♪ This is not the same, not now, never, no, not again ♪
♪ When the dreams and the truth came colliding ♪
♪ And the same can be said for all the rest of them ♪
♪ See the strong and the weak divided ♪
♪ Yet I feel alive
♪ For all the pain I have
♪ And all you do is seem to remind me ♪
♪ Of all the times and the ways I would have died for you ♪
♪ And this is all of the thanks that you'll show me ♪
♪ If you would show
♪ The light for me
♪ The things I'd known
♪ That now I'd see
♪ If you would show
♪ The light for me
♪ The things I'd known
♪ That now I'd see
♪ Energy as I feel it calling
♪ Cannot see through the cloud that's forming ♪
♪ Blinding as it passes before my eyes ♪
♪ Looking for the thing that's calling ♪
♪ Now I see that it's coming after ♪
♪ Now I see that it's coming
(WIND HOWLING)
(LISA PANTING)
(LISA WHIMPERS)
LISA: Help!
Help!
(MULTICOM JINGLE)
Subtitles by explosiveskull