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Sean.
Hey. How's it going, buddy?
Yeah, it came through.
Well, 'cause I know you like your offers for breakfast.
Yeah, it's 2.5, 5% on the back end.
Yeah. Will do.
Hey, did you pick up my suit?
It's next to your tux. I...
Emma.
Hey!
How was Belize?
Yeah?
♪ This is your good morning song ♪
♪ It will last, all day long
No. I promise, it's Saturday!
Almost. Tomorrow.
And you'll be waking up at Cade's.
Yes!
And I get to go straight home with him, too,
after school, right?
Mm-hmm. You're his MVP.
Go get dressed.
Of course, you know you're mine too.
You could stay here instead.
Make popcorn, cuddle, watch Star Wars Episode 27.
Mom, I'm ten.
Can I have cereal?
Sure.
Wow.
Where's Lupe?
Ensenada. Visiting her mother.
OK.
Hurry up, Sawyer. I'm going to be late.
Oh, no. I'm taking him today.
Like that? Really?
I don't have to get out of the car.
No. I said I'm taking him.
Get dressed. You have pilates at nine.
I like taking him.
And I told Cade's mom I'd meet her to hand off the gift.
OK. I know Cade's mom.
Sawyer, come on, seriously!
Buddy, let's do this. I've got a flight!
Wait. Where are you going?
The Tony's. Rose, I told you this.
Wait, they're Sunday.
Who are the Tony's?
It's an award ceremony in New York.
Daddy's client was nominated for a play she did.
It's a whole weekend, Rose. It's like the Oscars.
There's parties, there's press.
I just didn't realize that you had to be there.
Rose, I'm her agent!
It is okay. I just didn't know.
Can you please transfer some money to my account?
I have that hair appointment this afternoon.
I'll call Christophe and take care of it.
I checked your account.
You have enough to get you through the weekend.
Have fun, honey. Brush your teeth,
and if you get lonely or scared or anything...
Mom.
I know. You're ten.
My perfect ten.
...to the sky. Lift up and
3... 2... 1... lower down to the ground.
Wonderful job, everyone!
Alright...
Hi, Rick.
Rose! I need you.
Go to the club today at noon.
Garden patio, okay?
I want you to wear that flowered halter tieback piece.
Gary says, "A couple of the partners' wives
are having lunch." They know you're coming.
Now, I want you to see if Cliff's wife comes.
If she says anything about him buying in.
No, Rick. I can't.
You can't? Why?
Why not?
You know that I hate those things.
Rose. I need this information.
It will affect whether I make partner.
Well, I-I have to take Sawyer's P.E. clothes.
No, screw...
screw Sawyer's P.E. clothes, OK?
I need you to do this.
How is me glugging down Prosecco and butter lettuce
going to make you partner?
Okay, you know what? You're right, you're right.
I'm sorry to interrupt the convenience that I buy you.
Why don't you just go back to reading your magazines
or whatever it is that you do, OK?
China will own half of Wilshire by the end of the year. I promise you.
Confucius say,
"Not a bad thing when they're funding half your kale habit."
Gary. Nice to see you.
Ah, it's always nice to be seen.
Darling, spare key.
Oh, are you guys sharing a car now?
That's so cute.
- They're sharing a car. - No, no.
It's more like trading it in.
This one's already five days old.
Is it five? I thought it was six.
It's a new model release.
That's it, I'm staying off Mulholland.
Victoria.
Why can't one of your five assistants handle this?
Because they're busy assisting me, darling.
- Need a light, boss? - Nope. I quit.
It's bad for you.
- But, this is good for you. - Gary, don't!
Darling, please!
This is L.A. No one will miss it.
It's like he owns the place.
He practically has an address here.
And he's too lazy to drive the forty-five minutes home
even though he loves his cars.
Rose, you've met Gary, right?
Oh, of course.
I thought you were heading to New York with Rick.
We have an event tonight,
but I'm scooting out there tomorrow.
Ladies, always nice to see you.
And I was just noticing,
you in the floral and you in the modern.
If you switched, much better.
- Just an opinion. - Oh, Gary!
Just an opinion, darling!
Vicki, you know me. And, oh!
Dessert. On me.
On us? On us!
Stop it.
Keys are at valet?
Okay bye, darling. Bye, girls.
- Bye, Gary. - Bye.
God. Such a comedian.
Oh, I gotta take this.
Dierdre, Hi.
Why not?
Dierdre, they're depending on you.
No, I'll let...
I'm going to handle it. Okay?
Did I call it or did I call it...
Well. I mean, once a quitter...
She walked off that sitcom on Season two.
She was only a recurring...
Dierdra Banks? Cliff's wife?
Yeah, she signed up to teach
the Life Skills course at New Haven
which is a women's shelter the agency sponsors,
and now she's claiming she's "out of her league"...
Hi, Nancy.
Hello, darling. How are you?
The Tonys. Oh.
Yeah. No, have the best time.
Nancy, I'm sorry, I can't... I can't hear you.
I think we're having a bad connection.
I'll get back to you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Weren't you like, Miss Colorado, or something?
Arizona. I was Miss Arizona.
Oh, that's right! Gary was saying that.
So what was your cause?
My cause? Do you mean my platform?
Oh, well I spoke to teen girls
on making your presence a present.
Can probably work with that.
What's your day like?
♪ Na na na na na na na, na na na na na na ♪
♪ I guess I just lost my husband, ♪
♪ I don't know where he went
♪ So I'm gonna drink my money,
♪ I'm not gonna pay his rent ♪
♪ I got a brand new attitude and I'm gonna wear it tonight ♪
♪ I wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight ♪
♪ So, so what? I'm still a rockstar ♪
♪ I got my rock moves and I don't need you ♪
♪ And guess what? I'm havin' more fun ♪
Rick made me go to this lunch, and one of the wives there
asked if I could teach a class to women from a shelter.
She gave me an address downtown.
It's probably like a hotel ballroom or something.
Apparently, they like topics like self-esteem,
job skills, professional wardrobing.
So, I pulled out my crown and sash!
I don't know if it goes well, maybe, maybe I could go back.
You know maybe this... this could be my thing.
Anyway, I just, I thought you might get a kick out of it.
It's been a while, Mom.
- If you get a minute, call... - I'm sorry.
your message has been erased.
To re-record your message press one.
Learn to drive!
Please leave a message after the tone.
Hi, Sawyer! Honey, it's me.
Remember, once you get out of school
you can turn your ringer back on.
Call me. I miss you.
And remember, I'm just a phone call away if you need anything.
Love you, Honey.
You have arrived.
Yeah.
Is this the New Haven shelter?
Who are you?
Oh, Rose Raynes. Bev sent me to replace Deirdre.
I'm here to present to the ladies.
Okay. Come on in.
I'm Bigs.
It's really nice to meet you, Bigs.
I'm sorry, could I possibly get some help with my things?
What things?
Just some visuals.
We'll play it by ear.
Okay... Yes.
Bigs!
It's Friday. You know I need my insulin.
I'm playing it by the rules. I'm playing it straight.
You've got to play back with me.
You want to play it straight, Jasmine?
Go to class today and then I'll take you to get your insulin.
See, I can't even tell you how many laws you violatin'
by holdin' my meds from me.
It's discrimination! It's blackmail,
and I'm not even gonna mention the disabilities act
'cause I know my rights!
You're not disabled, you're diabetic.
Who Miss America?
She is your teacher.
You a real Miss America?
No.
Why do they keep bringing these pretty-ass white bitches
to talk at us?
So, where do the "white bitches" usually stand?
Oh, right.
Come on. Let's go.
I'll show you where.
In here. Come on.
So, they'll pretty much sit anywhere.
You can sit on the couch or that stool over there,
maybe the rug, something like that?
Ah, that's okay. I'll stand.
Do you have an easel?
A what?
Never mind.
Ladies!
It's class time! Come on, let's go!
You know, I did like two classes last night.
So, I'm good.
Yeah, that's great, but we didn't have any classes
last night.
Yeah, No. We watched one of those,
things on Dr. Phil.
It was a crazy intervention thing.
Sammy and I watched it together.
This woman with her daddy, her baby-daddy, her husband,
whose child is it?
Dr. Phil was sweating like Nixon.
It... it changed me.
Maybelle. Maybelle.
Come out here.
Bring your notebook. Let's go.
Leslie!
Coming!
Life Skills!
Hi! I'm Rose.
Hey, you've got dinner duty
tonight, right?
Yeah, I got it.
Oh, yes, I love me some Leslie-baby cooking.
What you cookin'?
You cook like a fat black woman.
Hey, whatever twenty bucks of ingredients gets me.
All right, all right.
Notebooks, notebooks, and give me the phones, please.
Give me the phones.
Why you always gotta be takin' our cell phones.
That's an invasion of privacy.
House rules. No phones during class.
What time is it?
You got fifty-eleven clocks in here and none of them work.
You got to tell me since
I ain't got a phone.
Why don't you get a watch?
It's 3:04.
This class ends at 4:00 p.m.
I expect you to be outside waiting
to take me to go get my insulin by 4:01 PM, Bigs.
Oh, wait, I need to go, too,
because I gotta get groceries for dinner.
What's the matter with your car?
It's moody.
Yeah, me too.
All right. Listen up!
Class starts now. It's 3:05...
60 minutes, that's house rules.
At 4:05, I will take anyone who
wants to go on a little errand run, okay?
What's your name again?
Rose.
Rose... is taking Deirdre's place this week, okay?
Enjoy.
- Thank you. - What's this?
My bio. Could you please read it?
...why can't you read it?
Well, it's written in third person, for someone else to...
Typically before I present, someone introduces me?
Yeah, that's what I just did. That's what I did.
- I just introduced you. - I'll do it!
"Rose Landry...
Oh. Raynes. It's, Rose Raynes, now.
Rose "Raynes"
"Rose Raynes is a Phoenix native
and daughter of Suzanna Landry
and the step daughter of the Honorable Judge Joseph Landry.
Rose graduated from Mesa Vista High School where she was
captain of the cheer squad
and the president of the Thespian Society."
You know, I think my second husband left me
for someone in the lesbian society.
She said, "Thespian".
That's them girls who twirl flags.
- Thespian... - No, its...
Actually, it's like the drama club.
- Yes... Yes! - You know... acting.
Oh, so you an actress.
I was...
You know what? Let's... let's forget the bio.
Thank you.
It's really out of date, anyway.
Basically, what it says is, many, many years ago,
I was Miss Arizona.
And now, I'm here to teach a Life Skills class.
I'm filling in for Dierdra, who...
had some someplace else she had to be.
I wish I had some else to be.
You're being rude, now.
You shut up, Maybelle! You the motor mouth!
- Motor mouth, Maybelle! - You know what? Both of you!
Shut up! Sit down, Jasmine.
Thank you.
Everyday, we each wake up and ask ourselves
the same question.
"What gift can I offer the world?"
That is not my top question.
Were you on TV when you were Miss Arizona?
The National pageant was televised, yes.
Ya know, I was on TV, too,
in the studio audience of Let's Make a Deal
and I almost got to come on down but this woman
just bum-rushed the stage. She just lost her mind.
Please! Just let her do her presentation!
All right, then.
Continue.
The gifts we offer others
should reflect our best selves,
our brightest aspirations.
Our boldest dreams.
And, when...
when we dig deep to find our inner beauty
we discover the potential...
of our outer beauty.
We may not choose our names
or where we were born but,
the one present we always can control...
is our presence.
I'm sorry. I'm-I'm not prepared.
I am not what you need.
Nuh uh!
Nuh uh, Miss Arizona! You ain't goin' nowhere!
If you don't do this class, I don't get my insulin.
Teach!
Just keep going. You're doing great.
Okay...
How about a do-over. Yeah?
Life Skills. Okay?
You know what, why don't we go around the room
and each of you tells me your name where you're from, and...
how about what you want most in life.
Right now. Jasmine let's start with you.
Jasmine from south central, and I need 4:05 to happen.
Great! Promise it will!
Next.
Her name's Sammy. She moved around a lot.
Oh! Her parents in the military?
Foster care.
Right now, she just needs a safe place to stay.
Well, then I'm glad you're here, Sammy.
It's nice to meet you.
Uh, my turn?
Great. I'm Leslie.
Born and raised a Dodger. "Whoa!"
Um, I'm a hairdresser. Mother of three.
12, 10, and 7.
And, what I need most right now is to find my boys.
Get em back.
And you don't know where they are?
No.
After Mick created his last masterpiece on me he...
he changed the locks while I was at work.
So, a friend recommended this place but they don't...
They don't take kids here
because there's not enough room.
So, I just stayed here one night.
Went back home the next morning to get the boys
breakfast and off to school and,
and they were gone.
Anyway, Mick's still there in and out.
I drive by on my way to work.
Have you gone to the police?
Of course, she's been to the police!
They make her stand on line and fill out forms!
That's their answer, their prescription for everything!
Paperwork!
Yeah, they referred me to a lawyer
and a private investigator.
The state prosecutor's backed up.
I got a pro bono group reviewing my case.
In the meantime, I'm um,
saving my money and
looking for my boys.
Yeah, I'm Maybelle, short for Maybelline.
I grew up in Tennessee.
Lived all over the south, really.
Followed my fourth ex-husband
down here in '03.
I'm kind of an expert on who not to marry.
Divorce 101.
That's a life skill I could teach!
Sorry, what was your question, sweetie?
Oh um,
what you want most in life.
Oh, what do I want most?
A job!
That way I could leave this joint.
A job!
Great! Let's start there.
What would your dream job be?
I think I would make a great life coach.
Those who can't do, teach.
Oh, let's not dismiss her dream.
Okay, so to be a life coach or to get any job really,
this... this is an area where your presence
literally pays off!
What is your job?
Oh, I stay at home with my son.
But, like before that. What did you do?
Well, I got married young. Um.
I tried acting for a minute and,
You know, I spent my years as Miss Arizona,
traveling and speaking to audiences.
So what you saying is,
you ain't never had no real job?
She in here teachin' a job skills class
and ain't got one!
Bigs, is this some kind a joke or somethin'?
Jasmine, class isn't over!
Hey, being a mom is a job.
So what, are you on any TV shows,
like what shows what I've seen you on?
It ain't like you got to apply
to be no trophy wife.
We in here trying to learn how to fill out job applications.
Ever filled out one of them?
I have, actually.
You know, I'm trying to pick up
a gig at night and I just...
I don't even know what address to put.
You can't list this one.
For safety reasons, we just end up looking homeless.
Yeah, I just make one up.
You know, they never look, anyway.
Well, on any application you only want to include things
that cast you in a flattering light...
awards, achievements.
What if you have a felony?
I... um...
I mean, do I list that on my application?
I-I guess it depends on the charge?
Girl, you got a rap sheet a mile long.
It only leads up to that felony.
Well it makes sense when
I explain it.
So, you know when my fourth ex-husband left me,
he took my dog.
Let me tell you something.
You threaten my dog, I'll shoot you in the face.
I see.
So, Miss Arizona.
Does she need to put that on the application?
...I maybe wouldn't put that.
See, you don't know nothing about how hard it is
to find a job when the world don't need you.
Actually, I do.
Do you see that crown?
That is the last time someone told me I was worth anything.
Girl, stop!
It look like you got a man
taking pretty good care of you!
Yeah, my husband hasn't looked me in the eyes since
the day our son was born.
And, Sawyer's ten.
Today, he told me he's too old to hug me anymore.
I'd get a job if I had a degree or experience
in anything besides bleaching my teeth.
Listen, I realize it might not
seem like I have real problems but, you know what?
I am here and I am willing to help in any way I can.
Maybelle, you want to be a life coach?
I believe you can!
I don't know what it takes,
but maybe I can help you find out.
I can help all of you!
Amen!
She one of them girls that did a monologue for her talent.
- Jasmine... - What!
Why you gotta be like that?
Hey, Bigs? You gettin' that?
Yeah.
The house line's unlisted.
Sammy's ex got it somehow and called yesterday.
We think he might know she's here.
Which means here is a very dangerous place to be.
Leslie! Is your car working today?
Yeah, it's possible. I don't...
Okay, we might be having some company.
I need you guys to go and get Jasmine's medicine
and don't come back until I call you, okay?
- Okay. - Got it.
Rose!
I'm sorry, we're going to have to reschedule, okay?
Oh, no. That's okay.
Okay.
Girl, damn your car!
This car make me itch.
You outta gas?
It's the ignition.
Come on!
All right, all right.
This isn't working.
Let's get the Princess to take us.
You know she's lookin' for somethin' to do.
Come on, come on! Let it go!
I hate this car!
You ask her!
Unlock it.
You're taking us to the pharmacy.
Uh, sure.
Yeah. Hop in!
This one of them cars that talk at ya?
There's a voice control feature.
You wanna step on it, grandma?
We all got a good enough reason
to get out of this neighborhood.
Sure.
Would think you more
than the rest of us.
We've hit the 5, the 405,
the 101, all in Friday traffic!
I said take the 110.
Hmm.
Let me see, valet. Ooh!
So, somebody just come and park your car right now?
No.
Rich people.
What is all this down here?
So, if you put it on this,
this is buying a Christmas tree?
What's that?
Is that for falling cactuses?
Like if you get hit by a cactus?
A cactus hits you in the side, you just press that?
It's been like, an hour.
More like three.
If you give me an address,
- we can punch it in. - I know where I'm going.
Turn left.
Oh, no no no. Turn right.
What's the street name, maybe?
Don't worry about it, princess.
She knows the street!
Sammy's carsick.
Yeah, she's gonna hurl, if you keep
making those hairpin turns.
Y'all shut up back there. I know where I'm goin'.
Besides, no one is getting car sick
with Miss Turtle here on the wheel.
Don't most people want to see
how fast they can drive these things?
See that's it. Right there.
"Korean Pharmacy."
Is it Korean insulin?
There ain't no Korean insulin,
they just got the best co-pays.
Alright, y'all don't go off and leave me.
Though, I'd catch up with the way you drive.
Hurry.
"Best co-pays."
Yeah, I wanna get me some of that
"Korean insulin."
Is she diabetic?
So, what does he do?
Oh, are you asking me?
Yeah, your husband. What does he do?
Oh, he's a talent agent.
Wait, like for actors?
Yes.
Do he know anyone famous?
Well, he reps most of the people on that show.
He packaged that show.
Really? I love that show!
Wait, so what does that mean, packaged?
It's when an agent puts together like a,
group deal of talent.
Keeps things agency friendly, it's more commission.
I always wanted to do hair on a movie set.
I did a shampoo commercial once for a friend.
I did a shampoo commercial!
"Turn your locks lovely with Lovely Locks 2-in-1."
I completely forgot I had a hair appointment.
You know, Leslie can do your hair.
Hang on, I think I saw your commercial.
Dude, I recognize... I recognize you!
I used to pay attention to that kind of stuff.
Wait, did your husband get you that job?
Only job he ever got me.
Really.
Yeah, he... he judged the Miss Arizona pageant.
Promised me the world. Moved me to LA.
But, then he signed some really big clients and...
Anyway. I got pregnant, so.
You ever meet Billy Bob Thornton?
Wait, so do you like, go to the Oscars and stuff?
I did once.
Rick's actually at the Tonys this weekend.
Really. So, why aren't you with him?
Oh. It's just work for him.
There's no point bringing me along.
Well, Honey.
There's just one reason
a man doesn't want to bring his wife along.
Miss America!
Alright, they out. We got to go somewhere else.
What's in your bag?
My insulin.
Don't worry I've got another supplier around the street.
So, we can just make a quick little drive-by.
Okay, do you think maybe we could stop at a store first?
I mean, if Im cooking tonight, I need to get a few things.
No, no. We're not going back 'til we
get the all clear from Bigs.
Well, I'm starving. We gotta eat some time.
Okay, well there's a taco truck right there, so,
twenty bucks of tacos it is.
Okay, give me one chimichanga.
A combo. I need some chips.
I don't have enough. I told you.
You can't have the munchies yet,
it's only been like 5 minutes.
Popped out like eight kids.
Sammy. Just one taco?
Rose, you sure I can't get you something?
Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you.
Are you sure? I got three bucks left.
You don't want like a taquito or anything?
You have it.
We'll split it.
You got all that extra money
but you can't give me no chips?
Zip it.
Girl, you better eat that taquito!
That's it. Thank you.
Oh, no.
No bueno?
I just haven't really felt much like eating lately.
I can't even imagine.
Sawyer's at his first sleepover tonight and I...
Mama can't rest without her cubs.
You have a ten-year-old too, right?
Yeah.
What is he into?
You know. Soccer, friends.
Oh, who am I kidding.
Not showering, not doing his homework,
and you know, thinking he's too old for me.
Mine, too.
Sawyer used to be my little buddy.
He would hold my hand at the
mall, and play with my hair,
and now, he just looks at me like,
"Where you come from?"
You'll get them back.
I won't stop until I do.
I worried this might happen.
He always threatened that if I left,
I'd never see my boys again.
But, I just never...
Anyway.
At some point you have to wonder
if you're doing your boys more harm
letting them see their dad
treat their mom a certain way, you know?
Does she ever...
Talk?
Yeah, occasionally we can, you know, pull a few words out.
It's a trust thing.
I just think it's a lot easier for her to just
live outside of her own life, you know?
Bigs told me about when she first got to the shelter
it was... it was bad.
He...
Her ex beat her broken.
He... locked her in this tiny little garage shed
for months on end.
Wouldn't feed her unless she...
performed.
Found out the police were after him and he just like took off.
Left her in there.
No food.
Took them two weeks to find her.
Arizona!
Good to go?
You managed to finish half a taquito.
Anyway.
We appreciate you helping us.
Yeah.
Right here.
To the right. Pull over.
I don't see any drugstores.
He does it outta of his house.
Jasmine, are you buying drugs?
Yeah, duh, of course! I told you.
I am not assisting in your drug deal!
Okay, hold tight.
Ain't nobody gonna take your crown away from you.
It's medicinal. I have a condition.
It's legal now anyway. It's all over the news.
Oh, are you talking about marijuana?
Yeah, Sherlock.
Oh, yeah, I've actually heard of the benefits.
My friend's daughter has seizures and she said that
the PCP oil has healing properties
without getting you high.
Yeah.
You want to get that PCP oil any time you gotta headache,
or you know, cramps or anything.
That'll reallly work out.
I'll be right back.
Maybe we should just drive around the block.
She said she'll be right back.
Yeah, it might take her a little while to pay for it.
Let's just drive around the block.
Yeah. Okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
That house.
That looks familiar. That's... that's Dusty's house.
Who's Dusty?
It's Mick's cousin.
- Mick's Leslie's husband. - Ex!
Ex.
That's Mick's car.
They're here!
- My boys are here! - Hey hey hey!
What are you doing?!
- My boys are inside! - You got a death wish, huh?
- No! - I know sweetie.
What do you think, he's going to just hand them over to you?
He's been hiding them from the cops for like two weeks!
I'm going in there.
She's right. This could be dangerous.
We don't even know that they're in there.
- Okay? - What!
I know, just hang on. We can't be stupid about this.
Rose, where are those file folders that you have?
- They're in the back. - Okay.
- Wait! - Hold it!
You think a pageant brochure is gonna get me my boys back?
I mean no offense, Rose, but...
All right.
Your boys have been out of school
for like two weeks, right?
Yes!
Charlie, Leo, and James Miller.
- Right? - Yes!
My feeling is that paperwork
has been started somewhere, right?
What are you thinking?
I'm thinking that you're dressed perfectly
for your new job as the Assistant
to the head of Child Protective Services.
I'm your boss, I do the talking.
Let's go!
Please hurry!
Hey, let's go! I thought you're an actress!
What...
Come on, Annette.
Annette?
We're not using our real names.
Please!
What if he pulls a weapon? I have a son, too, you know.
People who were trying to keep their kids
don't usually pull a weapon on the authorities.
Why don't we call that authorities?
We are the authorities. You and me!
Will you just smile, and look pretty and serious.
Lemme see that.
Just keep your mouth shut.
What?
Mr. Miller?
Who are you?
I'm... Jasmine Maybelline.
I'm the director of,
Los Angeles Department of Child Protective Services,
and this is my assistant, Annette,
and we are here to speak to a...
"Mick Miller" about the health
and well-being of his children.
Hold on a minute.
Mick!
What?
Some ladies here to see you. C.P.S.
Different ones than last time.
Y-Yes!
Unfortunately, our colleagues who were here
just left a few holes in the paperwork.
Not a big deal. Shouldn't take too long to fix.
Yeah?
Are you Mick Miller,
the father of Leo, James, and Charlie Miller?
Yeah.
We're from C.P.S.
I'm Jasmine and this is my assistant, Annette.
Yeah, yeah, I already told you.
My kids are staying with my sister, Sarah, for a while.
Alright, when Leslie ran off, it about did them in.
I gotta work.
Unfortunately, our colleagues,
when they mixed up the paperwork,
We...
we're just here to make it right.
You know, sometimes when people,
behave in a way that, um,
is unreliable and...
and leaves you feeling disappointed.
So all we need is just, your sister's address
and we can be out of your hair.
It's just to process the file.
You know. Paperwork.
Will you grab my phone, Dusty?
Paperwork.
- Yeah. - Paperwork.
It's just...
"113 Hack's Cross Louisville, Kentucky 40206."
Thank you so much. Just one more question.
In your estimable opinion, Mr. Miller, do you feel like,
Sarah is a competent guardian, temporarily,
for these children while you work out your...
domestic issues?
No I... I don't got no domestic issues, all right?
Their mother ran off! That's called abandonment.
Waiting for the courts to prove it.
You're not going to give this to Leslie now, are you?
T-That bitch is crazy!
She's gonna get them boys and
she's going to hurt them again.
Nope. This is just for our files.
You've been so helpful. We're going to get going now.
- Thank you so much. - Have a good night.
Yeah.
That was amazing! You could be an actress!
What a waste of skin.
We gotta make a clean getaway. Come on.
Rose!
Maybelle! Leslie!
Wait up! Wait!
Damn!
- Who those dudes? They got... - Come on!
Get in!
Bitch!
Dusty, get my gun and my keys! - Go, go, go!
Why'd you leave me in the first place?
Well, we found Mick.
Where are my kids?
- In Kentucky. - With his sister?
Someone named Sarah. You know her?
She's nuts!
She lives in a commune in the woods.
No phones. No electricity.
- One of them Dateline cults? - God!
He's telling everyone you abandoned them.
What? No!
- I would never do that! - We know you didn't.
We'll get your kids even if we have to
drive to Kentucky to get em.
I don't think we can actually drive to...
Step on it! We've got company.
Pull over! Hey!
Pull over!
They're gonna kill us!
Not if you drive! Step on it!
They've got a gun!
Pull over!
Watch out!
Come on! Pull over!
We shook em! They're gone!
You don't get out much, do you?
Oh my gosh!
Girl, scoot over, here I come.
Move, girl! Move!
Should we double-buckle?
Girl, I will strangle you with that thing!
Don't you harness me. Let me do my thing.
I think we just got hit, but what... what happened?
Do you have bulletproof windows in this thing?
Rick bought this off a client. A rapper!
It came with added security features.
Surface wound! You've got insurance.
This dead ends.
Just sit back and spectate and let me drive!
Hey, what's going on here?
Just go man, just go, go!
Y'all go on in. I'm gonna wait right here.
Oh, you out already?
- Good behavior! - Keep your nose clean.
Working on it.
Thank you.
I told them!
We know where they are, and what do they do?
Start more paperwork!
The Kentucky police said it would be Monday before
they could file to start an official investigation.
Damn paperwork.
You can't wait until Monday for them to process.
Your kids may be long gone by then!
Right!
Can't they send someone out?
I mean, they sent someone
to the general area that I described.
They said that they found some old burnt building.
I mean, it's ridiculous!
They can pull up her old library fines and her old
expired DMV records, but they can't find my kids!
We're not waiting till Monday, all right?
We're going to get you to Kentucky.
- All right. - OK.
Come on.
Let's go.
I know how far it is. I lived there.
I really don't think I can drive to Kentucky.
My son comes home tomorrow. I'm so sorry.
Oh, of course not. I wouldn't expect you to go.
No, no we're not driving there.
It would take too long. He'd get the word out.
By the time you got there, the kids will be long gone.
Maybelle, I don't have room on my card
to book a plane ticket.
I do!
I have money. Lots of it.
Well, I don't, my husband does, but I have a credit card.
I can fly you to Kentucky.
Wait. You would, you would do that?
Of course!
What's up?
We're gonna fly Leslie to Kentucky.
All right.
Let's see. Nonstop.
Do you prefer economy, business, or first?
I've... I've never been on a plane.
- Really? - No.
Pick whatever's gonna get her there first.
Well, all seats technically arrive at the same time.
Just book it!
...business. More legroom.
Aisle or window?
- I don't... - Window.
There's a red eye that leaves from LAX in four hours.
You can make it!
- Thank you so much! - Of course!
There's only one seat left.
Okay well then book it before it's gone!
I'm so happy with...
What?! It says declined!
I bought a dress
in case Rick got an extra ticket to the Tonys.
Can you return it?
It's not with me.
You haulin' around in this tank
and you ain't got no more than gas money.
Rick likes to keep low limits on credit cards.
I bet he ain't got no low limits on his credit cards.
Let me check my debit.
Money's really not my strong suit.
I'm sorry.
It looks like you the one who need a life skills class.
You guys, Bigs just texted, "Coast not clear. Stay away."
Just get Bigs' credit card.
Bigs ain't got no eight hundred dollars.
Well, maybe New Haven?
What am I supposed to say?
I need 800 bucks to flee the program
so I can chase down my kids?
Let me make a call.
Sorry.
She fake... She fake!
It's not for a hair appointment.
It's an emergency.
OK. This is why you have an emergency credit card.
With a thousand dollar limit!
Rick, please.
I really need it.
It's just eight hundred dollars.
Take it from my allowance, now, come on.
It's not for that wallpaper, is it?
Because the bathroom does not need grasscloth, Rose.
No this isn't about wallpaper. It's an emergency.
It's for a friend.
A loan.
Okay, which one of your friends needs 800 dollars?
It's for a woman I met at a shelter today.
Okay, so you want to give a loan to a homeless person?
You can kiss that goodbye.
And why'd you miss your hair appointment?
I had to pull strings to get you...
You've reached Judge Edward Landry.
Suzanna and I will be off the grid on safari.
Beverly Hills go on strike?
I never thought it would be so hard to drum up 800 dollars.
- I'm sorry. - It's ok.
I got a guy who owes me a favor.
What kind?
Not what you thinking.
Come on, let's drive.
Leslie girl, you lucky I love you.
What you got here?
What's in this box?
What is this?
Oh, God! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
That's the creepiest thing I've ever seen!
What is that? Why is this in your car?
Let me guess! It's your talent!
Yes. That is Lolly.
- Lolly? - They have names.
What's so funny?
Do you still practice, what is it, puppeteering?
Ventriloquism? No, no, no.
She hasn't come out of the closet in like, fifteen years.
There's no place like West Hollywood.
He works over there. Park here.
♪ Call all the ladies out, they're in their finery ♪
♪ A hundred jewels on throats
♪ A hundred jewels between teeth ♪
I didn't even know what to bring.
I wasn't even sure what to talk about.
Life Skills is kind of broad.
So, you thought you'd let your puppet do it for you?
Man, get out of my way.
Five dollar cover.
- Oh, we're on the guest list. - We don't have a list.
Denver working the bar.
We just came here to get something from him.
All of you?
- Yeah. - Yes, man!
Just coming for some equipment.
We'll be back out in five.
♪ Livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams ♪
♪ And you know we're on each other's team ♪
I'll go find Denver.
Hello, West Hollywood!
How are LA's finest doing tonight?
Who wants to see us crown this year's Showdown Show Queen?
She is so pretty. Look at her hair.
Yeah, I think she's a
different kind of queen than you're used to.
Oh...
Ooh, lights on!
As you know, contestants will compete in evening gown,
interview,
and our finalists will share their lovely talent.
They're having a pageant!
Tonight's Queen will earn the title,
a one year membership to
Frenchie's Fabulous Fitness Dancing Classes,
and a custom made purse,
filled with fifteen hundred dollars in cash!
Check out this purse. Custom made.
Fifteen hundred dollars in cash!
Be cool, be cool.
Jeez, come on.
The party is about to start.
So, liquor up, and we'll see you in twenty.
All right, get out. Just leave.
That queen owes me but says
she isn't going to pay up tonight, so,
we need a plan C if we gonna get you on that plane.
I think I got one.
Whoever wins that purse tonight
gets fifteen hundred dollars, right?
Right?
So, we're going to win it!
Specifically, you!
What?! No, no.
I'm... I'm not a "queen" like that I'm not...
I saw this movie once.
The actress who played Mary Poppins she was a woman
who dressed as a man, who dressed like a woman.
So, you're an actress.
You just gonna dress like a queen.
OK, there are so many problems with that plan.
Don't even get me started.
Why? You won Miss Arizona, right?
Yeah, but...
But this is just... you know...
You got a car full of talent. You got gowns, you got outfits.
- You even have a crown. - But, she's not a man.
You identify as a woman, right?
- Of course, but... - Of course.
So, in a lot of people's book that would qualify you.
Where is your makeup?
- In the car. - Great.
You know you can't just turn up and enter these things.
There's always a procedure. There's forms to fill out.
Paperwork.
I'll take care of it.
Where did you find it?
Don't worry about it, Princess. I gotcha.
Oh.
Can't you see the place is occupied?
It looks great, okay.
Wow. Um...
Let's do this!
Yes!
Ginger Marie Minj.
Destiny Elizabeth Child. What?
Did you steal my lashes?
Why would I steal your lashes, girl?
I don't like arachnophobia. I have arachnophobia.
I like a nice, subtle daytime lash.
I know you try to give me side- eye but you can't see...
you can't see through those crusty ass caterpillars you got.
That's ok, that's ok!
You ain't gonna steal nothing you never took...
Oh, hey honey. Can we help you?
Are you lost?
- You are so beautiful. - I know.
Well, hello darling.
Hi.
Welcome to our lair.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Only contestant teams are allowed in back.
Great, then we're in the right place.
Oh! And you are?
We're her team. Uh, this is...
"Arizona Night."
We just landed. Flight delayed.
So if you could shoo-shoo, flutter-flutter,
so we could prep Miss Arizona for the Showdown.
How do you do?
Mm-Hmm. You're not on my list.
She certainly is.
Maybe you just lost the paperwork.
I don't lose paperwork.
So you saying you ain't never lose anything before?
You never lose your mama's lipstick?
You ain't ever lose the championship soccer game
'cause sports just wasn't yo "thing?"
You never lose your mind
when an election didn't go your way?
- I didn't know... - Nah!
See, Miss Arizona ain't no loser.
She came here to win.
Now, we done taped her and padded her
and flew all the way in business class
from Phoenix, Arizona to help her.
Now you gone help us? Or, you gonna help us?
We don't allow silicone.
- They're not silicone. - I got a waiver.
We'll set up right over there in the corner.
Come on. Let's go.
Come on, ladies.
Did you see the way she told Braxton?
Did you see that?
Oh my God... ain't nobody talked to her like that!
There's hairspray in that bag.
Lower your voice.
Oh, sorry.
No, no. Like, "lower it."
Like a man. Speak from here.
Like this?
Nah, like you're dealing with an Adam's apple and stuff.
Like... like this?
Um, better.
Okay, let's work on your introduction.
Okay, um... Hi, I'm Rose Raynes.
No, no. You're Arizona Night.
But that sounds like a stripper's name.
Perfect. Tell us all about yourself.
Um,
I like... basketball?
No, no, no, no.
This is an opportunity for you to tell us
who you really are, what you really like.
You know, like shopping and shopping,
and sitting by the pool all day,
- drinking mimosas, whatever. - That's not what I do all day.
Seriously?
That's what I would do, if I were you.
Anyway.
Go ahead. Continue.
Did you see Arizona's ankles? She fish!
Girl, who cares if she's fish.
She can't enter this competition.
We don't do bio-queens.
I'm gonna take care of it,
babe, I told you that, okay?
What you gonna do?
You better, because if I don't win,
I don't get my show and you don't get your commission.
Braxton! How come there ain't nothin'
but carrots in that green room?
What the hell we supposed to do with vegetables?
You ain't running no bunny pageant.
Okay, see.
- What? - Seriously?
Seriously.
You better check that attitude. You better check that attitude!
Ooooooh!
I got it, I got it.
- Here. - OK.
Has anyone seen a pair of gloves?
All right, let's go watch.
All right?
Go out and fight. Keep it soft and pretty.
Aww! Hug!
All right, let's go! Come on.
I really wish I hadn't bought that dress.
Yeah. Me, too.
Hey, nice work with the pageant hair.
Miss Pasadena, 1996!
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
All right.
Go get em.
What's up, party people?
Tonight, you're in the right spot watching me on stage
as I'm about to be joined by
some of the most beautiful girls ever!
Seven of the most...
Dude. Not now.
What? Just say it!
Eight. Okay, thank you.
You tell me now. Now's the time you tell me.
Eight beautiful contestants!
Without further ado,
let's bring these beautiful women to the stage.
LADIES!
♪ when you're walking after midnight ♪
♪ down the streets dressed in neon light ♪
♪ you wanna get down when you're feeling right ♪
♪ you wanna get down down tonight ♪
♪ think you're something special, something fine ♪
♪ baby you're on fire dynamite ♪
♪ you wanna get down
♪ you wanna get down?
♪ down tonight
♪ you wanna get down
♪ you wanna get down?
♪ down tonight
♪ the songs they're playing make us come alive ♪
♪ we could be electric electrified ♪
♪ when you're feelin' up you wanna get down ♪
♪ when you're feelin' up you get down ♪
♪ when you're feelin' right get lost in the sound ♪
♪ you wanna get down
♪ down tonight
Thank you, Ladies!
Did I tell you, was that
beautiful, amazing and georgous!
Oh, my God. Hot!
While these beauties get ready for the evening gown competition,
this is your time to mix and mingle, get loose,
head to the bar and we'll see you in fifteen.
Hello, Rose.
Gary?
So, this was your event?
Ta dah!
Okay, Princess.
Evening gowns! Come on!
Hey, what's wrong?
That woman, Emerald, is actually a man named Gary.
Honey, I think they're all men named Gary.
Oh, no. I mean I know him.
He's my friend's husband. He works for Rick's talent agency!
For real? He's here?
Looks like he's got a hidden talent of his own, huh!
He knows I'm not a... He'll turn us in!
No, no, no. It's better than that.
He knows that you know he's your friend's husband.
Yeah, well, no. He's got more to lose than you do.
Okay, but if he turns us in, I will be disqualified.
Then, how will we get the money?
Arizona Night!
I need you, stat!
They know!
He told! I knew it!
- What do I say? - You!
Arizona!
I need your music for the talent?
Music! On it.
- Who's got it? - Of course.
Yes, Jasmine, could you get it?
It's... um, in that case right there.
Shania Twain?
I was like 13. I was in a country phase.
Thanks!
Oh, you rude.
Come on. Let's get you in this.
Okay, let's go behind the clothing racks.
I seen more skin in this place in the last 20 minutes
- I seen in my whole life. - Yeah, but I have a few parts I need to hide!
Fine, I got it. I got it, I got it.
- We need you on stage, stat! - You good?
Sammy, let's go watch. Okay.
Well, hey y'all!
It's the mouth of the south here provin' that
some gingers do have souls.
And tonight, if you vote for me for Showdown Show Queen,
you and I can do some good for those kids at base camp.
You're going to need to state your name and your causes, okay?
My cause. What's my cause?
Just talk about your brochures or something.
I don't know. It's not your first rodeo.
Sweetheart, we all know you support the NRA.
I brought the guns tonight.
Buongiorno!
I'm Luscious... as they come
and I am thrilled to bring attention
to the Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice.
Now, introducing Miss Arizona Night!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Arizona Night and I'm here to show support for...
the New Haven Women's Shelter.
May we all dare to hope and dream.
Thank you, Arizona.
Last, but certainly not least,
Miss Delilah!
Don't you mean save the best for last?
Hi. I'm Delilah,
the host of your local Talk Truth show.
And I'm delighted to be here tonight
as an authentic champion for gay rights.
Tonight, I plan on donating
half of my prize money to the True Colors Foundation,
and I hope to inspire all the contestants
to reveal their true colors.
"Hello."
- "This is crazy!" - You are so weird.
What? I'm not weird.
I'm totally normal.
Do you remember how to do this?
Yeah, is it kind of like riding a bike, or what?
Riding a bike.
Oh my god! You just threw your voice!
No, no!
Well, I don't do monologues.
- Jesse to Braxton. - Braxton to Jessee.
- Jesse to Braxton. - Braxton to Jesse, hello?
Our first finalist is Delilah, dancing to... Slave!
I'm sure Emerald is loving that.
Are they a thing?
Delilah's the puppet, Emerald's the strings,
literally and legally. He's Delilah's agent.
Hot Hollywood gossip, but you didn't hear that from me.
Stay out of their way. Delilah needs to win this title tonight.
Thinks it's gonna to get her talk show picked up by a network.
How long have you known Emerald?
A year or so. She's pretty new to the scene.
Where are you from, honey?
Arizona.
Of course.
and what are you running from?
Nothing.
This is a long way from Arizona.
Yeah, I guess so.
How long have you been doing this?
Competing?
Sure.
Child, I've been performing onstage since I was about 17 years old.
My mom accepted me as is, my dad... didn't.
So, after he moved out,
Lucious moved in and I came out.
Junior year of high school.
What does your puppet do?
Lolly? We sing duets.
Now is it hard to talk and sing through your mouth like that?
Not once you get the hang of it.
It's actually kind of nice sometimes.
Being able to say whatever you want.
I heard that!
Let's here it for Delilah!
- Our second finalist is Ginger. - Yay!
Work it out, Ginger! Yes!
- Let them have it! - What is your talent!
I salsa dance.
- Oh! - But, I'm not dancing tonight
because I have a bad ankle.
But, what if they call your name?
They won't.
I already told them.
I'm just wearing this because it's comfortable.
I made it myself.
You make costumes?
Day job. I work in theater.
Wait, so are you out of the competition, then?
Most of us aren't here to win a crown.
Gazelle just likes to sing.
Sunshine is an insurance broker that lives in the valley.
For some of us, it's a platform.
For all of us, it is an art form.
A way of feeling beautiful.
So, you don't care about the money?
Oh honey, I stopped leanin' on the green a long time ago.
You know what they say.
The love of money is the root of all evils.
That is true.
But tonight, I could really use the money.
And, what would you do with it?
Something important.
Hmm.
Well, Arizona, good luck to you.
I need to reapply.
Arizona? They're looking for you.
Slay them sister! Slay them!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
♪ So fly high in spite of the pain ♪
♪ don't listen to darkness
♪ dream your own way...
This was supposed to be my gig.
I told you I would take care of it.
- But you haven't yet, have you! - I'm trying!
- Try harder! - Okay!
♪...the darkness,
♪ dream your own way
Thank you, Ginger!
And, taking that last coveted spot is our third finalist,
Miss Arizona Night! And her friend, Lolly!
Hey y'all. I'm Arizona.
And this right here is my best girl, Lolly.
Let's go!
What do ya say? Should we show them what we've got?
Yes, ma'am!
♪ Let's go, girls
♪ come on!
♪ I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright ♪
♪ Gonna let it all hang out
♪ Want to make some noise, really raise my voice ♪
♪ Yeah I want to scream and shout ♪
Take it, Lolly!
♪ No inhibitions, make no conditions, ♪
♪ get a little outta line
♪ I ain't gonna act politically correct ♪
♪ I only want to have a good time ♪
♪ The best thing about being a woman ♪
♪ is the prerogative to have a little fun and ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady ♪
♪ Men's shirts, short skirts
♪ Oh, oh, oh, really go wild yeah, doin' it in style ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction ♪ -
♪ Color my hair, do what I dare, Oh, oh, oh, ♪
♪ I wanna be free yeah, to feel the way I feel ♪
- ♪ Man! I feel like a woman - ♪ Man! I feel like a woman
Yeah! That's my girl!
No!
I have it on video.
Delilah, tame yourself!
Delilah!
Back. Off!
She ain't no drag queen.
What are you saying?
I'm saying she is a she!
Emerald just told me she works with her husband.
What?
Is that true, Arizona?
And she stole my gloves.
Ladies, meet Miss Rose Raynes, aka Miss Arizona.
And now, why you got to come invade our show?
No woman's stealing my show!
Wait. Stop.
She did it for me.
My ex-husband did this,
and he also shipped my kids off to Kentucky and
if we don't get there before he does tonight,
I may never see them again.
So, please.
What does this have to do with that?
Okay?
Because we needed the money to get there.
That's all! And we just thought Miss Arizona could win.
No offense, y'all.
No offense, y'all, but there's
a whole lot of other ways to make a little bit of money.
Okay!?
You know what? You're right, and we tried.
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to take anything from you.
I was... I was just trying to help.
Come on, let's go.
Stop!
You're not going anywhere, until you've got your money.
Her money?
- She can't compete! - And, who are you?
Why are you here? Why are we all here?
This is not about winning.
- Destiny. - Yes?
Your sequined outfit costs twice as much as this prize.
Well, that is true, I mean, but really.
We're here being true to who we are,
which most of the world doesn't want us to be.
So, if we're going to continue to demand love,
then we need to start giving it, girls.
Okay?
I, for one, don't think that what Miss Arizona is doing
is really all that bad.
Me, neither!
Well, I do! And I'm telling Braxton!
Miss Thing?
You tell Braxton,
and I will show him the video that Miss Ginger just took
of what you did to Miss Arizona's personal property,
to the cop that's out in the audience.
Two different angles!
He's not here to do the YMCA.
Oh, come on...
You know, I wore this dress when I won Miss Arizona.
It's okay, Sweetheart.
You can borrow anything of mine.
Anything!
Girl, what's she supposed to do with, use that as a tent?
Oh, step down!
I made half of your costumes. Okay?
- That's gonna require a lot of stuffing. - Oh, please.
I'm just saying, she got to stuff a lot.
Look, we can piece something together.
You're gonna be fine.
I... is your radio on?
The jig is up, Rose.
Or what, Gary?
The way I see it you have a lot more to lose than I do
with our little run in, tonight.
Oh, Sweetheart!
Before you bring this up at the company picnic,
take a look out there.
There's Cliff, there's Emily, and there's your little friend.
- Vicki? - Yeah, Vicki.
Vicki knows, Bev knows, everybody knows.
I know how to take care of the clients.
Now, look.
I don't know who put you up to this charade,
and I don't know what you're looking for,
but you're not gonna find it here.
So...
I think it's time for you to go home, Rose.
It's past your bedtime.
Eight hundred dollars for me to drop out.
That's easy.
I'll wire it to you in the morning.
Each finalist will join me
onstage to answer one last question.
That will be too late.
Good luck to Delilah.
I'll be right back.
And, audience! That's when we throw to you.
Her kids are going to be gone in she doesn't get there.
- I mean, why would I dress in drag for no reason? - I know, I can help you.
- I'm going to help you. - Yeah?
Yes. I got this.
Our first finalist is like a cool glass of sweet tea.
Miss Ginger!
Hello, Miss Ginger.
Tell us.
What does it mean to you to be beautiful?
Thank you.
To me, beauty means finding the light in all of the darkness.
I may never be the pretty one,
but I will always be the beautiful one.
Our next finalist, the one and only, Delilah!
Hello, Miss Delilah.
Delilah,
what does it mean to you to be beautiful?
Thank you, esteemed judges and panel.
Being beautiful to me means taking time to honor
the inner queen you are.
And I have a big inner queen in me.
What is it?
It's my husband's best friend,
and he owes me a huge favor.
Arizona!
- Arizona? - It's in here somewhere.
- They're calling my name. - Just, just go.
Arizona, they need you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Nice dress!
All right, Arizona. Let's get serious.
You got to tell us.
What does it mean to you to be beautiful?
Go on, girl!
I was born into a world
where I was trained from the time I was a little girl
to sit still and look pretty.
But, as I've grown,
I've learned that outer beauty can hide a hollow shell.
Friendship.
Being kind. Helping others.
Looking out for those who need us most.
And doing whatever it takes
to be there for them.
That's what makes us beautiful.
Arizona, please clarify.
You said "since I was a little girl?"
If that statement is true,
technically, you'd be disqualified.
- Disqualify her! - Go enter Miss America!
She did the right paperwork!
She checked all the right boxes!
Arizona.
What's up?
Are you a female, or what? Come straight.
Yes, I am.
Okay.
That disqualifies you from the competition.
Now, we'll fill that final position
with our next finalist,
Destiny, who will now show us her talent.
And she looks ready.
All right.
It's about damned time.
Who's ready for some Hot Stuff?
I got all the hot stuff you need, okay?
♪ Sittin' here, eatin' my heart out waitin' ♪
♪ I'm waitin' for some lover to call ♪
The winner is... Miss Delilah!
Whoa! Get back here, Arizona!
That should have been me up there!
You took my spot!
I didn't mean to take anything from you.
This was supposed to be our night!
There are hundreds of nights for girls like you.
Hey, hey, hey!
Back off! Hey!
Go on, Ariziona! Get out of here!
- Don't you touch my white girl! - Go on, Arizona!
Get out of here! Go!
Kick her ass, sea bass.
Touch her again! Touch her again!
You don't want this! You... Where's Rose?
Where's Rose at?
I knew she was a girl
when she walked up in here, girl, I told y'all.
- Y'all didn't believe me. - Nobody could ever believe you.
All you do is lie.
- The devil is a lie. - That's how I got in this mess.
I can't believe you got into that mess.
- Must have took a whole bucket of Crisco. - Somebody had to do it, okay?
I have to pull over.
Hey, hey, you did your best. It's okay.
Yeah, you probably wouldn't have made the plane anyway.
No, it's not that.
That was the weirdest night of my life.
When that song came on!
"Man, I feel like a woman!"
When I woke up this morning,
I never thought my day would end up here.
But I'm really glad it did.
Yeah.
I wish you'd won the money, though.
No!
No, we did!
We won, we definitely won! I forgot to tell you.
We are getting you to Kentucky.
What?
- What? - Yes!
Yay! You found it.
- I tried calling you. - I must have left my phone.
It's okay. Everything is set.
Come on. Watch your step.
The big planes are with the rest of the agency in New York.
But, this one can get her to Louisville nonstop.
The pilot just can't get here till 7 a.m.
But, there's a diner down the street
if you guys want to kill some time.
Yeah, that's perfect!
OK, now I've got to get back to the club
because I literally left everybody there.
But, I'll be back here in the morning.
- Thank you so much. - Of course.
Best burger I ever ate.
So, you think you'd really work at a place like this?
Yes.
Why is that so funny?
I don't know, because you'd have to touch
things like, butter.
You've all told me that you've worked in diners.
I don't see why the idea of me working in a place
like this is so funny.
You know they make you wear polyester.
And rubber shoes.
Rubber shoes!
- Shoes! - Rubber shoes!
You too, huh?
I've never had a real job, and I just,
I don't know, I think it might be fun.
It really isn't.
But, why a diner?
Growing up, I was never allowed
to eat food like this as a kid.
My mom had a sign in the kitchen:
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."
But, all the people on TV and commercials and stuff,
whenever they eat food like this they always seem so...
happy.
I don't know, I think it might be fun
to serve people all this happy grease.
You know what else is fun?
What?
Eating it.
Here. For you.
- Oh, no. - Oh, no no.
One little ole bite. It's not gonna kill you.
- I'm fine. - You'll still be a negative size 2.
Stop. I'm fine.
- Do it. - Do it.
- Do it, do it, do it, do it! - Do it, do it, do it, do it!
Guys!
Fine, fine! Alright, fine!
I will take a bite.
Here we go.
- It's good. - Just good?
It's amazing!
- That was easy. - This is so good!
Oh.
I don't know if I can swallow this.
It's delicious!
Your mother would be proud.
Beautiful!
I'll take this whenever you guys are ready.
- It's sixty-two dollars! - What?
Jasmine, you said these burgers were four bucks each?
What the?
On the kid's menu!
What?
Oh, look at Miss America.
Living the dream.
I hope you enjoy.
It is so good.
Hey! Tyhefe!
That dude owe me money! Don't you drive off Tyhefe!
I done told you!
I told you I'd be lookin' for your butt!
Take me to the ATM right now!
Take me to the ATM, Tyhefe.
Is she gonna be alright?
There's one right across the street.
Jasmine's always gonna be alright.
That's one way to get to Kentucky.
How you doing, Sammy?
I'm kind of scared.
Oh, baby. You got us.
I don't want to go back.
He knows.
No, no, if our location gets out, New Haven will move us.
Hey, Rose.
How many people will fit in that plane?
I don't know? Four or five?
What if we all go?
Afraid, I can't cross state lines, right now, ladies, but...
I wish I could.
I have to pick up my son in three hours.
Can I come?
Oh my gosh, that would be so great.
Get a fresh start?
Well, what about your things? Should we go get them?
I have my ID.
- You ready? - Yeah.
Are you Leslie?
Thank you.
I'm a mama, too.
♪ Put on your face Know your place ♪
I gave you Cathy's number. When you land, give her a call.
She'll help you find your boys.
Okay. And... and Cathy is?
Miss Kentucky 2005.
Thank you, Rose.
- Yeah. - Thank you.
♪ But no one knows me no one ever will ♪
♪ If I don't say something, if I just lie still ♪
♪ Would I be that monster, scare them all away ♪
Can't cross state lines, huh?
What did you do?
Oh, nothing.
I... I just hate Kentucky.
You know, they got chiggers there.
They bite you. It itches for like, weeks.
Where to?
I don't know.
I guess I got some things to figure out.
Me, too.
♪ Cuz no one knows me no one ever will ♪
♪ If I don't say something, take that dry blue pill ♪
♪ They may see a monster, they may run away ♪
♪ But I have to do this
♪ I can't keep quiet, no oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ A one woman riot, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
Hey, Mom. What are you wearing?
A... costume.
You have fun?
Yeah! We built a fort on the trampoline
and stayed up all night long until like, midnight.
Did you have fun, Mom?
Hmm.
♪ No I won't keep quiet
I hope you're happy, Rose.
Way to serve me papers on the red carpet.
I mean, who does that?
Billy Bob Thornton was standing right next to me.
And what's up with that extra mound of paperwork?
I don't have time for that.
You better lawyer up, Rose.
I'm on my way to meet with mine.
Best in town.
You're going to regret this, Rose.
You're going to be sorry.
That man's a wizard!
Yeah. Why do you think I'm here.
Oh, I understand.
Thank you, bye-bye.
Oh! Mr. Raynes.
I tried to reach you, but I couldn't get past your...
assistant.
I'm afraid Mr. Murdock is unable to consult
with you because he's already consulted with your...
Mrs. Raynes.
Rose hired Murdock?
Well, not officially yet,
but they did have a consultation,
which creates a conflict.
Okay.
Okay, they? Who is they?
Oh, dear.
I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say.
Right.
I understand, but Mrs. Raynes
already came in.
Yeah. Yeah.
Let me guess. For a "consultation."
Well, I can tell you right now,
she's not hiring your firm either so,
why don't you go ahead and tell me
who's the douche bag she came in with?
No. That was no douche bag.
That firecracker was her life coach.
I didn't think I could ever love you again.
After all we've been through.
But then I realized...
it was all my fault.
I made you react the way you did.
When I set your car on fire,
I forgot your brother was hog tied in the trunk.
Rose!
Hey, realtor's here. You ready to sign?
- Yes. - All right.
I'm going go pick up the bunk beds.
Perfect. Did you get the trundle?
Rita, the one from Pasadena?
She has three kids coming with her.
Yeah. Got it.
See you, Boss.
- Bye, Bigs. - See you, Bigs.
Let's go, Sawyer.
Are you sure I'm right for this part?
This woman is kind of a psychopath.
What are you talking about? I don't see it that way.
She's more of a problem solver. Just like you.
Hi. Good to see you again.
I love that you're opening this home
as a women's shelter.
Once we repaint, replace the carpet...
they're gonna love it.
And, was there anyone else's name
you wanted added to the title?
Nope. Just me.
♪ Here's to the brokens The misfits and wannabes ♪
♪ The part of you that's just like me ♪
♪ The wallflowers and the holier than thou's ♪
♪ To the diamonds that are never gonna leave the rough ♪
♪ The rolling stones that are always stuck ♪
♪ The all nighter's and the lost I've never found ♪
♪ God bless this mess
♪ If this is as good as it's gonna get ♪
♪ I'm gonna hold you like I know it's gonna be okay again ♪
♪ I got a hurricane in my heart ♪
♪ Keeps on rattling the good apart ♪
♪ And honestly, I'm just an honest wreck ♪
♪ But I'm trying my best
♪ God bless this mess, oh, God bless this mess ♪
♪ Here's to the waiting
♪ All the waiting that we have to do ♪
♪ The dreams we make that never come true ♪
♪ And all the hurting that comes without warning ♪
♪ Here's to the view from the tile of the bathroom floor ♪
♪ Ain't we all been there before? ♪
♪ And the hell bent sun that's gonna come up the next morning ♪
♪ God bless this mess
♪ If this is as good as it's gonna get ♪
♪ I'm gonna hold you like I know it's gonna be okay again ♪
♪ I got a hurricane in my heart ♪
♪ Keeps on rattling the good apart ♪
♪ And honestly, I'm just an honest wreck ♪
♪ But I'm trying my best
♪ God bless this mess, oh, God bless this mess ♪
♪ Most the time I forget to pray ♪
♪ But when I close my eyes, I just say ♪
♪ God bless this mess
♪ If this is as good as it's gonna get ♪
♪ God bless this mess
♪ If this is as good as it's gonna get ♪
♪ I'm gonna hold you like I know it's gonna be okay again ♪
♪ I got a hurricane in my heart ♪
♪ Keeps on rattling the good apart ♪
♪ And honestly, I'm just an honest wreck ♪
♪ But I'm trying my best
♪ God bless this mess, oh, God bless this mess ♪