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- Hey, four-eyes! - Loser!
Allow me to introduce myself.
Get off the stage!
That's me, Jordan Sanders.
Well, actually, this is me now.
I know. I get it.
Big change, right?
But that was me in 1993,
the day I decided to show
everyone at Windsor Middle School
what I did best.
The laws of science.
They're actually true. I can trust them.
I can rely on them.
Who cares?
There she is. You know her.
The person who just can't let you live your best life.
Prepare to behold a death-defying feat!
I trust the conservation of mechanical energy 100%.
So much, in fact, that I am willing to risk my very life to demonstrate.
Boo!
Because this ball should not be able to pass this very spot again.
Go!
Ooh!
Now, this should have been my moment of victory.
And for seven glorious seconds,
I was on top of the world.
But then, just like that, it was over.
- Ow. Ow, ow, ow... - Something changed.
Little did I know, that something would be me.
Jordan, I know you had big plans to go out there
and show those kids how awesome you really are,
so they wouldn't be so hard on you at school every day.
Being me sucks.
I want to be someone else.
I know it's hard right now,
but that's just because you're little.
When you grow up, it won't be like this.
- It won't? - Nope.
- Because you're smart. - Yes!
I am smart, aren't I?
And do you know what happens to smart people when they're big?
They become the boss.
- Really? - Really.
And nobody, and I mean nobody, bullies the boss.
Well, then I can't wait to be big,
so I can be the boss and no one will bully me.
That's my girl.
Because I'll bully them first.
Jordan, it's time to wake up
and live your dreams.
Jordan.
I said, wake up, girl.
Let's get this shmoney, okay?
HomeGirl, call April.
Take a woosah, girl.
Fact, April Williams is your assistant.
"Assist" is in the job title.
Calling April.
So you want to slap your boss.
You're not alone.
We all have stress triggers.
People who are vampires, bloodsuckers,
just plain evil.
Jordan Sanders calling.
Hello.
Are you awake?
Yeah, I'm awake. I was just meditating.
Wake up!
Be awake when I call!
But I don't know when you're gonna call,
so when would I sleep?
When I'm not calling.
April, listen to me.
I'm sad this morning.
Oh... Why?
I have asked you 1,000 times to have my housekeeper, Elaine...
Linda is her name. Linda.
...put my slippers 53 centimeters away from the bed,
so, when I hop out, my feet can land on them.
I mean, am I being unreasonable?
Yes, bitch!
Is that too much to ask?
No, it's not unreasonable at all.
Damn right, it's not too much.
I can't be any kinder to you, April.
Why are you not at work?
I don't need a stay-at-home assistant.
I'm on my way.
- I'm on my way right now. - Go!
Keep your eye on this.
Hey, Tony.
- Hey, April. - Can I get a raspberry jelly?
And you can just put a line of sprinkles out, and I'll snort them.
Take it the boss lady's on the warpath this morning.
Every morning.
- Focus. - All right.
Stevie didn't go to school today?
Yeah, I gave her the day off.
Those bullies just won't let up.
I can relate.
Hey, April.
Hey.
Want to see a magic trick?
Yes.
I'm gonna take this penny and turn it into a quarter.
Can you get my paycheck next?
Ah, Jesus.
Ta-da!
Wow. That was magical.
Thank you.
It's like she senses my happiness.
Yes, Jordan?
Did you call Amex and schedule my call? I need to have it...
HomeGirl, end call.
Mmm-hmm. I got you.
"Good morning, Trevor." Oh, good morning, Jordan.
What are you still doing here?
I overslept. Forgive me.
You always have an excuse.
Why you always got your guard up, huh? Have I ever hurt you?
No, you haven't because my guard is always up.
Why do we have this discussion back and forth?
I should've known what you was about.
You got my name as D Boy in your contacts.
Yes, I saw that.
D is...
It's DeAndre, which is French for Trevor.
- You know what? I don't have to explain myself. - What? Jordan.
Why were you going through my contacts in the first place?
- Come on. What? "DeAndre"? - You have to go.
- No, no, no. I'm not... - Oh, my... Are you serious right now?
What? You strong, ain't you?
Come on, Jordan. I'm just trying to get you to open up to me, all right?
- Come on. - I have a company to run.
You... You can run me. Come on. You know how we do.
Come on. You get it. You know.
I'm tryin' to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'm tryin' to put you to bed
Yeah!
Bed, bed
- Give it to me now. Come on! - No! No!
- No! - Wow.
Oh, wait. I need my key back.
- What? Uh... I can't hear you. - That was for one night!
- What did you say? What? What? - D Boy!
Did you have to do all that sex stuff in front of my child?
Oh, please. He just popped out of you.
I am sure he knows the territory down there.
She's four.
Oh!
He's transitioning.
Well, good luck, little fellow.
I like you. Now, your momma's a different story.
If you need a drink, come over here, little man.
I got you.
HomeGirl, play Put Me to Bed.
You removed all love songs from your playlist.
Right. No softening.
I tried to tell you.
HomeGirl is playing yourjam.
Perfect.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Back! The usual.
Thank you.
And don't hate the player, y'all.
Hate your little broke-ass game.
Have a cheap day.
Oh. Good morning, ma'am.
How would you know?
Oh!
Beat it, boys! This ain't the hood.
- Vince, you read my lips. - Okay.
If you see Lil Weezy or any other delinquents near my baby again,
you better body slam them, or I'm gonna body slam you.
Yes, ma'am.
- And then I'm going to get you fired. - Yes, ma'am.
I would hate for that day to come.
Hi, Jordan.
Did my new seat cushions arrive yet?
Not yet.
Clearly, you don't care if my ass is in pain.
Of course, I care about your ass.
You wouldn't happen to be shoving a donut into your face, would you?
- Goodbye. - Huh?
Oh.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - So sorry.
- April, I am so sorry. I'm sorry. - No, it's my fault.
Is your donut okay?
Oh, it'll survive.
All right.
I got your sugar all over me.
Wow, that looks so good on you.
- Huh? - Huh?
- I thought you said something. - No, uh...
So wait. So are you gonna pitch your idea to Jordan today?
- Yeah! Today is the day! - Yeah? Yeah.
But tomorrow's also good, too, I heard.
No, no, wait.
April, you've been saying "tomorrow" for like months now.
DiscoverEyes is great.
Yeah, you gotta go for it.
Hey.
You got this!
Okay.
- You got this. - Yay.
- Oh, wait. That's a step. - I got it. I'm good.
And you can get this.
- I'm sorry. You say something? - Huh? No, no, no.
Jordan, yeah, you can get the product, the apps...
Not gonna catch me slipping.
Mr. Connor.
May I help you?
I am waiting on Jordan.
Oh, um...
Would you like to wait in our lovely lobby?
Nope. She's fine with me chilling in here.
- Um... - Cool, cool.
Oh. Of course.
She is gonna love that you're sitting at her desk with your feet up.
I'm just gonna go get her.
She's here! Take cover, everyone!
- I'm sorry. Good morning. - Yes, you are.
- So, Connor... - Shh.
Thank you!
Why are y'all out here congregating like you're in the yard?
Sorry, ma'am. Sorry.
That's not what I'm paying you for!
Can I interest you in some magic?
There is no such thing as magic.
Well, what about Black Girl Magic?
You're a black girl fire hazard.
Now go and disappear.
What?
Happy birthday!
Call the city and get JS Innovations
off that dumpy donut truck's delivery route.
- Of course... - Ahhh!
Who did this?
I told you guys, no carbs around me!
Oh... Uh...
Um...
Your biggest client is in your office.
Connor?
How did he get up there, April?
You know you're not supposed to speak directly to him.
I didn't.
He was already there when I got there. And I tried to tell him...
Shh.
There she is.
Connor the Incredible. What a pleasant surprise.
Please, stay seated with your feet on my desk.
It's actually fine.
They gotta be on the desk.
Up top.
Well, what can I do for you?
I am bouncing to another firm.
What?
No. No.
Connor, you can't jump. You're my biggest client.
That's why I wanted to give you the heads-up in person.
Wait a minute. Where is this coming from?
We just want a fresh voice to bring in new tech ideas.
Listen, my next product, it's still in beta testing,
but I promise you, HomeGirl, it's gonna be big.
It's more than a virtual assistant.
It is a virtual assistant if she were your homegirl.
It's just not for us.
All right.
Story time, JoJo.
Oh, not again.
When I was a kid,
I lived a hard-knock life.
Mmm-hmm.
Anyway, I started getting into tech,
and, one day, I had to come to my dad
and ask for a $10 million loan to start my company.
He's like, "What?
"When you start a company, you don't get $10 million.
"I'll give you $5 million."
- And that hurt... - Wow.
...'cause I was expecting 10.
I had budgeted for $10 million.
Mmm.
So I go to Grandmother and Grandfather.
And I'm like, "Can you invest more millions of dollars in my company?"
My grandfather's like, "What? I don't know what this is."
No.
That was hard, but he gave it to me.
And then, finally, I sell the company for $400 million.
So that's my struggle.
That's how I came up.
I felt that. I do.
I mean, you could give me a chance
like Grandmother and Grandfather gave you.
And just... Just...
Take that leap of faith,
and, and, and...
- Look, JoJo. - And, and...
Okay, I'm meeting with another firm
to talk about new gaming app ideas on Friday.
I'm sorry.
Wait, wait, wait. Connor.
Please just give me a chance before you make any rash moves.
All right, fine. Forty-eight hours.
- Cool? - Yes.
I will take it. Thank you.
And I promise fresh voices coming at you.
Also, do you know you have, like,
three dinner napkins on your back?
I didn't know if that was a choice or if you leaned on something or...
No, it's fashion. It's fashion.
Oh. You got one shot, JoJo. Don't blow it.
All right, people.
Settle down.
Oh!
Apparently it's lunch, since Scott wants to eat during our meeting.
Okay.
There you go.
Take a bite.
We don't have all day, Scott.
Eat.
Yummy.
Anybody else hungry?
- No. I just had salad. - I'm fasting.
All right.
Connor wants a new gaming app,
the best thing we've ever come up with,
and we're gonna give it to him.
It needs to be big.
It needs to make noise.
When you say "make noise," do you mean, like, literally make noise,
like the app makes noise, or is it just a...
Okay.
I get it.
I know that face.
We've got 48 hours to save our asses.
- So let's go. - Go.
Impress me, people.
Um...
An app like Tinder,
but, instead of matching people for dates,
you match with people for dating advice, uh,
and then analyze why all your dates went bad.
So, like Tinder, but sad.
Like how your parents felt the day you were born.
- Next! - Okay.
Um, a crossword puzzle app for news junkies.
So like a crossword puzzle that makes you angry?
Exactly how I'm feeling right now
when you come up...
Ow!
...with those ding-dong, ding-dong bad ideas!
I think I have a pretty interesting idea.
What? You do, April?
I don't even sound like that.
What's going on?
Nothing.
What?
I didn't say anything.
Somebody said something.
Y'all need to be quiet.
- We're having a meeting up here about important stuff. - Shh!
Sorry about that.
So you have nothing?
You have nothing?
Wow.
Nothing.
She didn't say anything.
He thought he heard something.
Y'all ain't said nothing.
Connor is out the door unless we crack this.
And in case I wasn't clear,
if Connor is out the door, all of you are out.
Bye-bye, healthcare, which you know you need.
Bye-bye, ping-pong table.
Bye-bye, ergonomic chair.
Which...
Dang.
You better stop quivering that lip.
- You better not cry. - Stop crying.
This isn't about you, Melissa.
Are there no more ideas?
Fine.
Once again, I will have to figure it out myself.
Go. Go!
I can't look at you anymore.
I have an idea for a new app.
Are you asking me or telling me?
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you that I have an idea for a new app.
It's called DiscoverEyes, and I...
No.
I don't take pitches from assistants.
It's just...
I've been here for three years,
and you promised room for growth and...
So I owe you a promotion?
No, no. That's not what I'm saying.
I know this is a terrible time,
but I really think I could help this company
if you just gave me a chance like someone gave you a chance.
Let me explain something to you, Miss April.
Nobody gave me anything.
I saw an opportunity. I took it, and I ran with it.
And you know what? I'm still running. Every single day.
You know how many times I had to pitch my first idea before I sold it?
Seventeen.
And I sure as hell didn't take no for an answer.
Wait, so does that mean you'll hear my pitch?
No.
You know what it is? I'm a taker.
You're not.
So just concentrate on being my assistant
and try being good at that first.
You can't talk to April that way.
Who let the fire hazard in here?
She's just making deliveries.
Come on, Stevie. Let's go.
Were you always this way?
Was I always what way?
- Mean. - No.
Actually, I used to be just like you when I was little, and you know what?
People treated me like crap.
Then what happened?
I got big, and I got rich.
So now who's gonna check me, boo?
Well... Well...
"Well... Well..."
Well, you ain't ready to play with the grown-ups.
So go ahead with your little self.
I wish you were my age. Then I'd check you.
Everybody who you're awful to would check you too, boo.
Well, I wish your little cartoon dog would bite you.
I wish you were little.
What was that?
- What was what? - What was...
Get out. Get out. Get that little chocolate Hogwart out!
Are you okay? 'Cause you don't look so good.
No, you don't look good.
That's what happens when people don't eat carbs.
They start seeing Satan.
Move!
Go back to work! Work!
Work!
Morning inspiration.
It is better to have money and be broken-hearted
than be broke and broken-hearted.
Let's wake up and get this money.
Mmm, I need coffee.
I told you, watch it.
I swear to God, when I see you again,
I will whoop your butt.
Argh, I'm not the one.
The usual.
What's your usual?
You're playing with me, right?
Here. Does that help you remember?
Triple espresso with foam!
You know, too much caffeine stunts your growth.
First of all, shut up.
And second of all,
does all this body look like my growth has been stunted?
- Depends. How old are you? - Thirty-eight.
Well, then, yes. Yes, it does.
What the...
Oh, my God.
I need to go to the hospital.
Security!
A homeless kid is trying to carjack!
Who's missing a bag?
No! Back off! No one is touching this bag.
Step away from the car.
It's me, Jordan. This is my car.
I'm not losing my job over this!
Ha!
Hey, little girl. Who are your parents?
Um...
Jordan Sanders is my mom.
Uh-uh. Jordan doesn't have a child.
Well, she keeps me hidden.
Just, please, don't tell anyone you saw me.
You poor child.
That woman is even more horrible than I thought.
She is not horrible.
She just has a very demanding lifestyle
that might be giving her a nervous breakdown.
Hello? Hello, Child Services?
Stop.
Stop talking like that.
How do you know what I'm gonna
say?
Where are my natural tear-drop boobs?
I paid 15 G's for those things.
Why? Why did you change?
This can't be happening.
Okay.
No.
Not this girl.
Jordan, it's me.
I got all 15 of your messages.
Aw, aren't you cute?
Are you related to Jordan?
So you see her, too?
See who?
The little girl.
Where's Jordan?
Jordan?
Do you really want to know?
Yeah.
She's inside me.
So you ate her?
Is that what happened?
Did you cook her in your little Easy-Bake Oven?
Jordan, hey, I'm here.
Where are you?
I got your dry cleaning.
You did not pay me to babysit.
I'm just gonna call her.
She would never give her phone to a child.
You got that right.
I don't know what you did or how you did it,
but you did something to Jordan, you crazy little Chucky doll.
I'm calling the cops.
Um...
You had a strawberry donut stain on your shirt yesterday.
What the hell?
One night, we were brainstorming a dating app,
and you were telling me the lamest story about how you lost your virginity
in the back of your mom's Dodge Ram van.
But you told your college sweetheart that he was your first.
You lying thot.
What in the black Jesus?
This doesn't make any sense.
You went to bed grown, and then you woke up...
Little.
But that's for white people, 'cause black people don't have the time.
I know.
What happened?
I can't even think of what could possibly...
No, no, no. I mean, how did you go from this to this?
- I have never seen a better glow-up. - April.
Can you help me and figure this out?
No, you're right.
Sorry. Let me just focus.
Think.
- I got it. - What?
Gucci Mane.
He's had a better glow-up than you.
I mean, he's happy. He's healthy. He's got a six-pack.
He has a really nice smile. I don't know if those are veneers,
- but people say we smile alike... - April!
Can you help me?
Mmm-mmm, I don't like that.
What?
I like kids to have old-school manners, so...
I'm not a child.
Mmm...
Okay.
Please help me.
"Please help me, Miss April, ma'am."
Are you kidding me?
Nope.
Please help me,
Miss April, ma'am.
Okay, child.
Okay. Um...
Well, try Benjamin Button syndrome.
No. That's when you're born old
and then you age backwards until you're a baby again.
Oh. Well, my bad.
I must have gotten my magical body curses mixed up.
Wait a minute.
- What? - That's it.
That girl...
The fire hazard from the donut truck.
She was waving that dumb wand and wished I was little.
Yeah, wishes don't come true.
'Cause if they did, I'd be on maternity leave
with Michael B. Jordan's baby by now.
Okay. So you're gonna go to the office, stop by the truck, kidnap her,
and bring her back to me, okay?
I have some duct tape.
We'll just starve her till she reverses this. Yeah.
Okay, or we could just ask her to use her toy wand to make another wish
'cause that's way less felony-ish.
Just...
- What are you doing? - What?
I need a glass of rosé. It's too early for tequila shots.
You're too young to drink.
Relax. Just a couple of sips to take the edge off.
"Female Gary Coleman disease."
He died?
Nosy neighbor.
I swear to God, you're gonna learn today.
What?
Child Protective Services. Are your parents or legal guardians home?
Oh. Um...
April!
Sorry.
What you got there? Nice rosé?
So who's in charge?
- Me. - Me.
I have that Jordan Sanders is listed as the owner of this apartment.
Correct. Paid in full.
Okur.
You told me your name is Jordan Sanders.
I did.
Well, the other Jordan, the owner,
he's, uh, my brother.
Yeah. My dad. I'm a junior.
Yeah, 'cause women can be juniors, too.
And where is your father now?
Mmm. My, um, father. That is a good question.
Auntie?
Where's Daddy?
You know exactly where he is.
- Um... - He's, um...
- Overseas. - Space.
- Uh, in a space overseas. - Mmm-hmm.
Space Force.
Got it. And your mother is where?
She's a crackhead.
Yeah, Jordan is a crack baby. It's so sad.
That's why she's so hyper all the time.
Oh, yeah.
Let me just document this. Aunt and crack baby.
No, no, no.
But this is just temporary because she's going back to her dad soon.
Mmm-hmm, very soon.
Back where?
Home.
In Hawaii with my brother.
That's President Barack Obama.
Hmm, no, that's my brother.
They just think we all look alike.
Same dog and everything. Okay.
Uh, and could you please tell me why you aren't in school today, hmm?
School?
Girl, bye. I haven't been to school in, like, years.
Nope, that's not what she meant.
That's not what you meant, right?
- Oh, yeah, that's not what I meant. Joking. - Mmm.
Okay, good, because any parent or guardian of a child
during the ages of mandatory attendance
shall send such child to public school,
private school, or a homeschooling program.
Furthermore, any parent or guardian who violates this code section
shall be subject to fine, imprisonment, community service,
or any combination of such penalties as the court sees fit.
Say what now?
"Say what now" is enroll this child in school,
or somebody is going to jail. That's what now. Say what.
By "somebody," do you mean...
You. That would be you.
Now, the school district
which Jordan would be assigned to would be...
Ah. Windsor Middle School.
- Windsor? - Mmm-hmm.
- Oh, hell no. - Yes.
Hell yes.
We love that school.
Enroll her there today, and I will be checking that you do so.
No. Look here, lady.
I am a businesswoman, and I have a company to run.
She sells Girl Scout cookies.
She just takes it really seriously. I'm like...
So I don't have time for Child Services,
and I sure don't have time for school. Okay?
Let me be clear. I will have you in foster care
and your goofy aunt over here in jail if you don't. Okur?
Yes. Okay. Yes.
No problem.
Excellent.
Now, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna get a video
- of you two together. - Are you gonna post this?
And this apartment, because I like the evidence.
I can't go to school.
I'm not going to jail.
I can't believe I have to say this.
You're gonna have to be me in the office.
They're not gonna listen to me. I'm like the homie.
You have to make them listen.
I'll be on the phone in your ear,
so don't say anything I don't tell you to say.
Don't do anything I don't tell you to do.
So you're still in charge?
Always.
Just keep everyone focused on fresh ideas,
or else the whole company is over.
That just really makes me uncomfortable.
Oh.
But do you know what else is uncomfortable?
Unemployment.
Okay.
I will agree to cover for you at the office
if you agree to promote me to creative exec.
What'd you just say?
I said, um, for you to promote me to creative exec.
Well, look whose balls just dropped.
I gotta take what I want.
- Isn't that what you said? - Maybe.
So, deal?
Deal.
Yes!
You know, since I have to be you,
I should probably dress the part
and borrow some of your clothes.
Your body can't fit into my clothes.
This is squats.
This is Pilates.
That body looks like BabyGap,
Gymboree,
OshKosh B'gosh to me.
Oh, you get on my nerves.
- Fine. - Yes!
This is ridiculous.
Let me get this straight,
you went to Target, and you got me this?
Tarjay.
The overalls is what I got. The shirt is mine.
I look great.
Looking like Cookie from Empire.
April.
- Uh, you know this kid? - Oh, hey, Vince.
You know how Jordan always asks me to do everything?
Yeah.
Well, this is her niece.
Yeah, I'm watching her while she's out of town.
Oh! That explains it.
Yeah, we had a little confusion with her yesterday...
Uh, did you guys, call a Lyft?
- No. I got my keys. - No.
Actually, Jordan left these for me.
Yeah. It was part of our agreement.
I don't think Auntie said that.
Now, stay out of grown folks' business.
Give me the keys I let you play with.
She's so funny.
Here we go.
Ooh!
Okay, how do I close the doors?
Now how do I start the car?
Just put it in electric mode. It's easier to...
Whoa! Stop!
- April! - Okay, I got it. I got it.
Watch it! Stop!
What are you doing?
Whoa!
Okay, I got it. I got it.
No, you don't.
No, I don't. Okay, I got it.
I can't go in there. Mmm-mmm.
You heard Agent Bea.
If you're not registered today,
I'm going to county.
But this place.
The memories. It was so hard for me.
I never felt so small.
I know this is hard for you, and I'm sorry,
but I'm not going to jail for you. You're going to school.
If you think I'm listening to someone
with such poor control over their edges as you,
then, girl, you are severely mistaken.
Okay. That's it.
Listen. I'm the adult, and you're the child.
So, when I say something, you listen.
Please.
If you don't stop embarrassing me
in front of these white people...
Well, you're embarrassing yourself.
You know what?
I'm sick of you.
- Say one more thing. I dare you. - Fine.
You're too fat for that skirt.
You know what?
If you want to take it there, we're going old school.
What?
- Oh. - Let's go.
I'm requesting backup. We have a BMW situation.
Black mama whoopin'.
How you like that?
Mmm-mmm.
Whoo!
Try me.
- Okay. See, no. - Whoo! How you like that?
You tried it. No, you tried it.
'Cause I been looking at you like a little girl,
but you a grown-ass woman, and you gonna catch a grown beating.
Fine. 'Cause I got this good knee back.
And how about this?
- April. - Should I sell it?
Give that back to me now.
What are you gonna do if I don't?
I told you not to test me!
Yes!
Start spanking your kids.
Reminds me of my mama.
I can't believe I'm back in this hellhole.
That must be Principal Han.
Just shut up and stay cool. And I got it.
- Hey. Nice to meet you. - Hey.
Nice to meet you. Welcome, Jordan.
Uh...
She's just nervous. Aw.
Well, let's get you started.
Pull it together.
Ah. There's your teacher. Mr. Marshall.
Damn.
How I get detention?
Yeah. I'll be just fine.
Hi.
Hi, we are so excited to attend this school.
This is Jordan.
She's feeling nervous about joining your class.
Oh, yeah. Hey, listen, don't be nervous, okay?
Perfectly normal, but don't be nervous.
I'll be with you the whole time.
- Promise? Okay. - Promise.
Your daughter's adorable.
Oh... Not my daughter.
- That's my niece. - Oh.
- Um, and I'm April. - April. Gary.
I'm single. But not looking. I'm not desperate.
Just open and available.
Got it.
That's where I'm at now. I just got divorced.
You got divorced?
- Oh, no. That's great. - So I'm, like, totally desperate.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Anyway... All right. Uh... Well, school gets out...
Okay, we should, um... We should go.
- Okay, yeah. - Bye, Gary.
You can get it.
Okay.
We have a new student joining our class.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Jordan, all right?
And here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna give her a nice warm
Windsor welcome.
Let's start... There you go. What are you doing?
This is not a Windsor welcome.
This is not what I've taught you guys.
- Hey, hey, hey. - I blame the parents.
You know what, Mr. Marshall? I'll just take it from here.
Hi, everyone. I'm Jordan Sanders.
And I want to make a few things clear before we get started.
First of all, you're meeting the new alpha of the class.
I can establish my dominance easily,
or you can make it hard for yourself.
Ooh. Nice pants.
If the floods are coming.
- Come on. - Yeah. Your clothes suck.
Charlie, zip it!
Thank you, Gary.
It's Mr. Marshall for you. I'm the teacher.
Mmm-hmm.
And I'm the student.
Okay, where was I? Yeah.
We're gonna skip the "haze the new girl" thing.
No. It's dull. Predictable.
And I will strike back with a vengeance like you've never known.
Well, if you didn't want to be hazed,
you should've combed your hair.
You know what? One more outburst,
and I'll cancel Spirit Day.
I'm not joking around, young lady.
But you can't cancel Spirit Day, Mr. Marshall.
I am Spirit Day.
- Oh, good Lord. - Which reminds me...
Get your tickets to the hypest school spirit pep rally ever.
This year's theme is Winchella.
Windsor's most talented students,
and others that we couldn't block from signing up
because of new rules of inclusion...
...will show what makes Windsor the best.
Whoo! Yeah.
All right. All right. All right. Thank you. Pipe down. Pipe down.
Open up your books. You know what I mean?
We're gonna do some learning.
Start pretending to read.
Oh, boy, you know. Meeting new people.
It won't always be like this. Okay?
'Cause I could tell when I met you
that you are a special young lady.
You know what?
- I feel like you get me. - Really?
I feel like I get you, too.
So you feeling what I'm feeling?
You want to quit?
I think about quitting every day.
But I can't because I have a responsibility.
What are you feeling?
Oh!
No. I'm not feeling that at all.
I'm an adult man.
And you should have a seat.
Okay.
Mr. Hard-To-Get.
I see you.
Mmm-hmm.
Go ahead and sit down.
It's time.
Time to sit down.
Just don't, you know...
Just look the other way. Look the way...
Look up there. Look away from me.
- Teach me something. - Don't...
So, uh, what are us kids into these days?
I'm looking for the next big thing, you know.
Uh... Excuse you.
Cutting without tipping is rude.
Really? You feed this to children?
- To eat? - Mmm-hmm.
Postmates.
You got this, Jordan.
You're grown. You're successful.
These kids can't hurt you.
Next table.
Oh, my... She's coming over.
Oh, really? It's like that, sister?
- Mmm-hmm. - Okay. Fine.
Come on!
Come here! Hey!
Over here!
Huh...
Never thought I'd say thank you
to anybody offering me the worst table in the house,
- but, um, thank you. - Sure.
Mmm-hmm.
Why do you guys need a "safe space" for lunch?
Stop.
It's becoming clear.
Three years ago, I answered too many questions correctly.
Friend Zone.
I didn't have any new clothes
at the start of school one year.
Over.
I don't even know why I'm here.
Who did this to me?
You better show yourself.
Don't... Don't worry.
No one gets stuck in the Friend Zone forever.
You're cute for thinking that. Keep living.
No. He's right.
Once everyone sees our talent at the pep rally,
we can finally get out of the Friend Zone
and be in the center of it all.
We'll be cool with everyone.
It's gonna be very "What's up, what's up?" in the hall.
Who does that Jasmine girl think she is?
Jasmine, she's...
Sing it, Isaac.
She's so perfect
He doesn't stutter when he sings.
I see.
- These answers better be right. - Duh.
What is wrong with this school?
What is it?
Order for Sanders.
That's me.
All right.
Thank you.
There's no Postmates in school. Okay? Sorry.
You know what? I am done chasing you.
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing.
That's Bible, Gary.
What a weird little girl.
April, you have to come pick me up. These kids are demons.
Jordan, I have my first meeting, and I am freaking out.
I don't think I can do this.
Calm down.
Put me in your ear. Like, on Bluetooth.
- Hey, April. - Hey.
I heard...
Okay. Uh... I heard Jordan was sick.
Yeah. She's definitely gonna be out for, like, a day or two.
You ready to hold it down without her?
Mmm-hmm.
All right. Well, I'll see you in the meeting.
And I'm sure you're gonna shine.
- You're shining already. - Ah.
Okay.
We don't worry about the flying saucer hardware...
Yeah. Absolutely.
Okay.
Command their attention.
- VR goggles. - Good idea.
- Oh, I think we should do the... - Right?
Guys, I need to command your attention, please.
Uh, can we all just quiet down and focus, please?
Thanks.
Where's Jordan?
Um, she's under the weather.
So I'm here just filling in for her.
Is that why you're wearing her clothes?
These aren't her... This?
These aren't her clothes. These are my clothes.
You don't wear cheetah.
I always wear cheetah.
Jordan is never sick. She must really be on her deathbed.
Which would be a developer's dream.
Was that Preston?
Ooh, if he wasn't so talented, I'd fire his butt.
And he also has a good butt.
He does.
April's right. We need to focus.
Thank you, Preston.
No. No. Uh-uh.
JSI is going under...
- I'm gonna need Melissa to shut up. - You're right.
- I need to get a new job. - No, you don't.
- I'm looking at Jordan's Facebook now. - Don't check it.
This is off the rails. You have to show them you can be crazy.
Y'all, I can be crazy, so chill.
Do it now or you'll never get control.
- Do what? - Do it now!
I said, listen up!
You wanna see crazy? I can show you crazy.
What, y'all put bricks in here or something?
Y'all recycle a lot. Wait, wait. JSI is doing fine.
We all have jobs. Let's innovate. We're JS Innovations.
I'm in charge.
Oh, God. This is so hard.
I don't know what that was and...
What are you wearing?
You look like a cheerleader for the Migos right now.
This is the worst day ever.
I'm gonna need a stiff drink and some clothes that fit.
Corner table for two.
Right this way.
Can I start you with something to drink?
Oh, yes. I'll have a glass of rosé, please.
Scotch on the rocks. Two rocks.
And I mean two. If there's three, it's going back.
How cute are you?
Are you in charge?
Mmm-hmm.
Let's get real.
This black card's in charge.
What is this?
The kids' menu.
Would you like this kid's foot up your...
Oh, she'll have a Shirley Temple.
Porterhouse. Rare.
Right away.
Thank you.
Any leads on the donut truck?
The city doesn't provide contact info for the trucks,
and since someone took them off our route...
- Damn it. - But these trucks
need to be inspected every year,
and they can't just go to any auto repair shop.
So I narrowed it down to a dozen repair shops in the city
that handle food truck inspections.
And I have an intern making calls,
so we should have a lead soon.
Thank you.
Yes.
Thank you.
Mmm.
- This is heaven. - You know.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!
Oh, it's not all bad at your school, though,
'cause can we talk about Mr. Marshall, the other white meat?
Oh, girl, I was thinking about going back to pork.
Hello. Oink, oink. Him fine as swine.
I'd like to teach him some things.
What are you gonna teach him in that scrawny, flat body?
Well, at least I'm not dried up
like a creek hit by a drought down there.
Please stop.
Just a dusty bed of rocks where water once flowed.
It's not dusty.
Anyways, what's up with you and Preston?
Making puppy dog eyes at him all day.
We're just friends.
Well, yeah, 'cause you're too scared to get at him.
You see, that's your problem with work and men.
You can't close the deal.
What about you?
You hire employees but don't trust them.
You meet people but don't make friends.
You date, and you don't commit.
Committing is overrated. I'm a boss.
I can't be heartbroken.
Men want me to be just like a Mary J. Blige song.
Just down without them.
But I'm too strong for that mess.
Okay.
Oh, can you actually just leave the whole bottle
'cause she left her card, right?
She comes from money.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Why are you sniffing and holding my glass?
My hand is not on your glass.
I literally see your baby fingers
right now gripping my glass.
Well, I think you're seeing things.
Jordan, no drinking. I mean it.
You got my aunties over there trippin'. Stop.
Relax. I'm fine.
She's fine. It's a game we play.
I'm drinking. You're drinking.
One. Two. Three. Drink.
Girl, that baby's drunk.
Time on my hands
Since you've been away, boy
I ain't got no plan
No, no, no, no
But, see, I do got plans 'cause I'm the boss, okur?
And the sound of the rain
Against my windowpane
Stop.
Jordan. Get down.
Is slowly Is slowly driving me insane
I'm sorry.
Boy, I'm going down
Why are you embarrassing me like this?
I'm going down
Go down then. Come down.
'Cause you ain't around
Some kids need more than just time out.
First of all I am a great mother.
I encourage this type of behavior.
Matter of fact...
Sleep don't come easy
Boy, please believe me
Sorry.
Since you been gone
Everything's going wrong
- Everything! Everything! - Yes, auntie!
Why'd you have to say goodbye?
Look what you've done to me
Who is this?
I can't stop these tears
You don't know her?
From falling from my eyes
Oh, baby
I'm going down
'Cause you ain't around, baby
My whole world's upside down
Oh, I don't know what to do
If I ever lose you
I'll be going down
I said, I'll be going down
Oh.
Please forgive me, baby
I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry
Sorry
- All right, I'm out. - April.
You can't leave.
If Vince sees you outside leaving,
then he might call Agent Bea.
Are you asking me to spend the night?
I don't know how much longer I can take being 13.
Please?
Miss April, ma'am?
Thank you.
Well, see you
at the crossroads, Wicked Witch.
So? How's it look?
Um...
It'll get you through the night. Yeah.
You like this movie?
Yeah. I love it.
Work! Work! Work!
Yes! Come through.
All lunch hours are canceled!
Are you serious?
Now suffer!
Really? Evillene was a boss.
I learned so much about running a company from her.
We haven't had a lunch hour in six months!
That explains a lot.
But I wasn't always this hard on people.
When I was first this age, I stopped being open and kind.
Every time I tried to fit in, kids would just beat me down.
Make fun of me, bully me.
At that point, I just gave up on people.
It hurt too much to care.
Anyways, when I grew up,
I guess I just attacked people first
before they could attack me.
I get it.
It's hard out here for girls.
It's like, you get one shot if you're lucky.
And if you don't hit the bull's-eye,
people will drag you.
Am I done?
You finished and done.
Cool.
Initiating "Bed" light sequence.
You're welcome, ladies.
What is going on?
- He's here. - Who?
Oh, my God. Did you order him?
Is this rich people Postmates?
Ooh.
He's doing the dolphin. He could flip me.
Oh, my God.
Throw a flower in the air
Yes.
Ooh. Put me in the middle of that. Yes! Yes!
Oh, no. You can't look at this.
This is for grown folks' eyes only.
- Kid, stop looking! - Oh, my God.
Oh, just calm down.
- It's fine. - No, it's fine.
Just relax.
No, it is not. No, it is not fine.
What's wrong with you?
Oh, 'cause she's a child. You a child.
Oh, right.
What?
What are you doing here?
Well, what are you doing here? This is my house.
Who are you?
Oh. Um...
Well, I'm April
with a "A" for available.
So great...
So nice to meet you. Mmm.
Listen, what I'm trying to understand is,
why would you be in Jordan's apartment watching some...
Oh, my God.
I know exactly who you are.
You do?
Oh. For sure.
Listen, everything's gonna be okay. All right?
Don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine.
We gonna figure this out together.
It's gonna take some adjusting,
and, to be honest, I'd always imagined having my own kids at first,
but I guess when God sends you a child to love,
it doesn't matter where it comes from.
Wait. What the hell are you talking about?
This is why Jordan was so closed off to me.
She was embarrassed to tell me she's a single mom.
Oh, God, no. No, no, no.
- Get out. Go. - You know what? I think you'd better go.
- Look at you. You're so cute. - You should go.
- Like a little doll. - We could go together, but you gotta go.
Lovable. Look at this...
No, no. Wait, wait.
Oh, my God, you're so strong.
Key.
You sound just like your mama.
That tough exterior just trying to protect what's on the inside.
Look, you ain't got to do that no more. Just give me the key.
Okay? I'm here for you. All right?
And, look,
listen, don't tell your mama. All right?
Just give me a chance to explain, okay?
I'll be back. All right? I'll be back. Daddy's home!
Mama's home, too.
Whoo!
I'm on Hinge, Tinder, and Christian Mingle.
So now what?
I hate to say it,
but I have to go back to work.
- And you have to go back to... - No, no, no. Please don't say it, April.
To school.
We can't risk it with Agent Bea.
You don't understand what school was like. Or is like.
The way this Jasmine girl makes people feel about themselves.
She's mean, cruel, a bully.
Doesn't care about anyone's feelings.
Yeah, I can't imagine what that's like.
You're not talking about me, are you?
There's probably a reason why you became this Jordan.
Maybe you have to do something differently at this age.
Botox?
I'm just saying, you have a chance anyone would kill for.
You get to be a child again.
So, knowing what you know now, what would you do different?
I'd stunt on those kids.
Yeah.
Hey.
Straws? That's me.
Oh, my God, the hot pink.
I know. I know.
Oh, my God. Is that...
Custom? Yes. Yes, it is.
- Jordan. - Yeah?
- You look... - I know. I know.
Wow! Jasmine gave you respect. That's huge.
- It's time. - Time for what?
Time for everything to change around here.
Winchella auditions starting now.
No, no, no.
No talent shows. No auditions.
We got this. Isaac's got the voice.
And we've got the moves.
It literally cannot go wrong.
Yes! Let's do this!
Come on! It's gonna be great!
That was amazing. See you all at Winchella.
Oh. Except for you, Becca. You suck.
Come on, guys.
Next!
Sure you don't want to join us, Jordan?
Yeah, we could really use one more dancer.
You could freestyle.
No way. I am never going on that stage and sharing myself again.
I landed butt-first in a stack full of cardboard boxes
the last time I tried that.
Next!
Hi.
Okay, so what's your talent?
I'm singing.
And, and, and
And, and we're finished. Next!
Okay, so sometimes he gets nervous.
But, trust us, he's amazing.
And then we do this, like, really hype dance
- and we back him up. - Yeah, yeah.
So, we'll just skip to the part where we dance.
Music.
We'll just go. Um...
Five, six, seven, eight, and...
I'm sorry.
Oh!
Okay, that's enough. You're in.
See you all at Winchella.
Awesome. Thank you.
You guys are gonna be blown away.
We already are.
Yes.
- See? - See what?
That was a disaster.
It wasn't as great as we thought it was gonna be.
But that's okay. We'll totally kill it at Winchella. Right?
- Yeah. - Are you crazy?
She just let you into Winchella just to make fun of you.
I don't know. I mean, she seemed pretty nice.
Yeah, plus, they won't laugh when they really see what we're about.
Forget showing who you really are. That is social suicide.
- Huh? - You know what?
I'm gonna teach you how to be somebody else,
somebody that a bully wouldn't dare to make fun of
because you're living a life that they can only dream of.
And that can't happen here.
I've never skipped a second of school in my whole life.
Mmm-hmm. And, uh, where has that gotten you?
Let's go.
Wow!
You live here?
This is so cool.
- Is this what having money feels like? - Wow!
Okay, guys, now focus.
This is about showing Jasmine
and the rest of the school what they're missing out on
by not being friends with you guys.
So we have to look like we're having the most fun.
Isn't it easier just to really have fun?
Ain't nobody got time for reality.
We're talking about the Internet.
Okay.
Um, HomeGirl, a vibe, please.
HomeGirl doesn't know you.
Voice recognition denied.
I said, HomeGirl, a vibe, please.
All right. Playing a vibe.
Okay.
So, no one's gonna be jealous of you guys looking like you.
So we have to change all of this. Follow me.
No, no, no.
That was awesome.
We look so cool.
Oh! Look, look. Look at all these likes.
Wow! Even Jasminekittycat heart-eyed our story.
I mean, I still think Winchella would've been fun.
One wrong move, and then you'll lose all your followers.
Forget Winchella.
She's right. We can't mess this up.
I've changed your life for the better.
My work here is done.
Your Lyft is downstairs.
Thank you.
Bye.
What are you doing here?
I don't know, okay?
I walked into the store. There was pink everywhere.
And the next thing I know I'm handing over my credit card and...
You probably don't play with toys, huh?
I should have thought about this.
I'm nervous, okay?
I just want to make a good impression on you and your mom.
Where's Jordan?
Business trip.
Look, do you want me to send her a message or something?
No. I mean, yes.
There's just so much I want to say.
But your mama just makes it so hard to talk face-to-face.
Just come in.
Hey, what is happening?
- Hey... - No, no.
Yo, these are dope.
Uh, thanks.
So you ready?
Uh-huh. Uh, no.
I can't do it.
I can't run another pitch meeting,
and it's fine. It's good. I'm good.
April, you have so many dope ideas. Look at this.
You know, you could really bring the team together.
I can't do it like Jordan.
Yes, thank God.
She never lets us get our ideas out,
and that's including you.
You're right.
So what you gonna do?
I guess I'm gonna run it like me.
I'm sorry. I couldn't hear what you said.
I said I'm gonna run it like me.
I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.
- I'm gonna go up there... - Uh-huh?
...and run that pitch meeting like April,
- who's me, and I'm gonna kill it. - Uh-huh.
- You gonna kill it? - Yes!
- Up there, I'm gonna kill it. - You gonna kill it up there?
- Yes! - Okay.
April, when I first heard that you were leading the pitch meeting,
I really only came for the bagels.
But this is the first time I feel like my pitch has actually been heard.
Tell me about it.
I haven't even taken one of my anti-anxiety pills today.
Look at us. I mean, this is nice. Right?
I mean, this is like a very positive, like, AA meeting. Right?
Yeah! Right.
- Yeah. - Thank you, guys, so much.
I'm so glad this is fun.
But I have to be honest. The ideas just aren't there yet.
We gotta do better.
Let's hear them!
Ready to make that money.
Is that...
Mr. Connor.
How long have you been here?
I don't know. I never learned how to tell time.
Someone else does time for me.
Well, but the pitch isn't until tomorrow.
Where's Jordan?
Jordan...
She's at home, dealing with some stuff
in her private area. That's...
Whew!
It is on fire.
Mmm.
Got a hot box down there?
I've dealt with a few of those.
You said you dealt with a few?
So what have you got?
Come on. The suspense is killing me.
So what's your plan for my mom?
There is no plan.
I enjoy spending time with her.
That can't be it.
There's gotta be some angle.
Well, there isn't.
I see her. You know?
I mean, she's only tough so no one can hurt her.
But on the low,
your mom is really, really silly.
Like, I can't even tell you how many times I caught her goofing
and dancing around here when she thought no one was watching.
Mmm-hmm.
All right. Then let's get real.
You're here for her money, huh?
- What? - Mmm-hmm.
No. I'm not here for her money.
I do pretty well for myself.
You're a starving artist.
Yes, I am an artist.
Your mom only assumes I'm starving.
I actually just had a great show at the Studio Museum in Harlem.
I am surprised that I...
My mom didn't know that about you.
I mean, how could she?
Right?
She never asks me anything,
and she definitely doesn't tell me much about herself.
I mean, I didn't know about you.
Then, if she's so tough, then why are you here?
I care about your mom.
To be that guarded,
it has to be lonely.
I just want her to know that, even though she may feel like she's on her own,
no matter what, I truly have her back.
That is very nice to hear.
You see, I can do this. I can do this. Right? I could be a great dad.
You know what? This was a really good talk.
How about you just give me a hug?
Okay.
- Yeah. - Oh, my gosh. You're so cool.
I knew we were gonna hit it off.
Okay, all right. All right, okay.
All right. Okay...
Let go. Uh-uh. Mmm-mmm.
Uh... Wait. Wait...
All right. All right. Wait a minute.
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. No!
What are you doing?
Oh...
Right. Um...
No, don't. You're on time out.
You need to stay here and...
Matter of fact, you go sit in the corner. You think about what you did.
I'm gonna leave you by yourself.
No, just wait!
Come back.
Come on.
- What's her name? - Oh, that's April.
April. April! Hey!
Put me in your ear, and I'll tell you what to say.
Time is money. Bring it. What have you got?
- April. - I gotta go.
Don't you dare hang up on me!
Sorry.
Can't hang up. It was like, "Can you hear me now?" And then...
April!
The idea that we wanna pitch tomorrow
is called, um...
It's called DiscoverEyes.
It's an interactive game where you can see the world through the eyes of a child.
Or, you know, we have other ideas, too. You... She...
No.
That's the one I wanna hear.
DiscoverEyes.
Dope!
I'll be back in 24 hours to hear the pitch.
- DiscoverEyes. All right. - Yes. DiscoverEyes.
- DiscoverEyes. Yeah. - Sounds promising.
DiscoverEyes.
- Scott. - Yeah.
You did it.
We did it, guys.
You did what?
I never approved DiscoverEyes.
I never approved you even pitching that idea.
And now my future and my whole company
is gonna be running off an assistant's pitch!
Well, what did you want me to do? You told me to help.
You serious?
Disloyal.
Self-serving.
Huh.
You did this for you. Not me. Not the company!
So I'm self-serving?
You're the one who only cares about yourself.
You're nasty to everyone here,
like we're not trying to help make your company great.
Yeah, right.
Sure. You stab me in the back, then blabbing all your bad ideas
to my top client to get your first shot!
How would you know?
'Cause you've never even heard my pitch!
You are such a child! Whether you're 38 or 13,
it's still the same mess with you.
You see, now I know why you're too scared of taking risks.
'Cause you don't even know what the hell you're doing!
You should just stay scared.
You know what?
I'm sending all the pitches
in your inbox, including mine,
because, clearly, you want to do this on your own, which is fine.
Yes. That's exactly how I want it.
You know what I want?
Carbs. That's what I want.
I quit!
Go, then!
I'm doing that right now!
I'm not following your instructions anymore!
So, girl, bye!
Girl, bye!
What'd you say?
Bye, girl!
Girl, bye-bye!
Bye-bye-bye! I'm NSYNC.
Argh!
- And take your damn bagels with you! - Oh!
Was that an everything bagel? You are nothing!
And bring me back my clothes!
Too late! I stretched them out.
I still want them!
Too bad!
There's only one person I know who acts like that.
- Don't say it. - Jordan Sanders.
Hey.
What?
Who are you?
Excuse me?
Whose child are you?
Whose child is this,
walking around here in a tiny pink pantsuit?
Shut up! Get back to work!
You know what? She need a whoopin'. What's in my purse?
Let me go. You know, I'm gonna go get a belt
- 'cause I sure ain't got one on me today. - Yeah, get a belt.
Whoop somebody else's child.
You know, is it bad I hope Jordan never comes back?
- No. - No.
God.
What is happening to me?
God, just please send me a sign.
Oh. Hey, little lady. Stop.
Oh, um...
Hey, Vince.
I appreciate you being so conscientious, but it's fine.
I'm not going to fire you.
Yeah, but Miss Sanders will.
I have to make something right,
and I can't do it without my precious baby.
No way. Come on. Give me the keys back.
Fine. I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Hey, girl. How old are you?
I don't even know, man.
I don't know, either.
Hey.
I have that address you were looking for.
The what?
The donut girl. But it's gonna be tough to find her after today.
Their route's, like, impossible to track.
Thank you.
Hello?
I'm still mad at you, but I found Stevie and the truck.
I don't know how long she'll be there.
I have to get to Winchella to help those kids.
Look, I screwed up.
I told them not to do their stupid dance.
But I was wrong.
Well, I'm just letting you know that this may be your last chance
to reverse whatever this is,
or you'll be living that preteen life forever.
So do what you gotta do.
You're right.
Who's got that Winchella spirit?
Guys.
You guys have to perform tonight.
But you said that was social suicide.
Look, I'm not gonna lie.
You guys could go to the hospital if you guys go on that stage.
But that shouldn't stop you.
What? No.
That should definitely stop us.
You guys may be too young to understand this,
but I bailed on being my true self
because people told me I didn't count or fit in.
You're only, like, six months older than us, Jordan.
Everyone thinks you have to grow up to figure out who you are,
but they're wrong.
When we're kids, we know who we are.
It's just the world that beats it out of us.
So, with that being said,
you guys should perform the dance that you guys worked so hard on.
Come on, guys. What do you say?
No. We're good.
We're just chilling.
Yeah. We'll sit this one out.
It's Jasmine's world.
Who's got that Winchella spirit?
I'll teach you guys there's nothing to be afraid of.
What are you doing?
Get off the stage!
What's she doing up there?
Move it, Sanders!
Get off the stage.
Lame!
No, guys. Let's give her a chance.
See what she got.
Give her some music.
Yeah, let's see it.
Show us something!
Oh, my God.
That's not cool!
Get off the stage!
Boring!
Yeah, get the running man!
Okay.
Get it, Sanders!
You got this, Sanders!
Oh!
Oh, no! Jordan!
Jordan, are you okay?
Jordan!
Are you okay?
I'm sorry, guys.
It's okay. You were great.
That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for us.
And the most dangerous.
What's he doing?
What are you doing?
And I am telling you
I'm not going
I'm the best man you'll never know
There's no way I can ever go
No, no, no, no way
No, no, no, no
And you, and you, and you
You're gonna love me
Hit it.
Okay.
Go, go, go!
Whoo!
I thought you weren't coming.
Well, I mean, I wasn't.
But a good friend of mine,
who I should really stop being mean to,
helped me realize something.
Even if it means I have to be a child for the rest of my life.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
I do.
- All right, sweetie, time to go. - Hey! Dad!
- Hey, Mom! - Look, we did it!
- Hey, you made it! - Did you see me?
- They loved it! - What are you doing here?
Being a friend.
You're the evil lady from the office?
Well... Yes.
But I've had real emotional growth in a few areas.
Just turn me back.
- Mmm-hmm? - Me?
- Yep, that thing right there. - Just point that.
Yep.
Wait.
If I do, are you gonna be all mean?
Didn't you just hear me say I had emotional growth?
Jesus!
I apologize for yelling. That was mean.
I'll be nice. Hurry up and do it.
Okay.
I wish you were all grown up.
Oh...
Give it to me.
Okay.
Turn me back.
Big Jordan.
Grown-ass Jordan.
Come on.
Come on. I really need this.
Uh-uh, girl. That's not how you do it.
Well, how do you know? You didn't even know you did it.
Give me my wand!
- I wish you were a marshmallow. - What?
I wish you were chocolate cake.
Man!
She tried to turn those white people into marshmallows.
I wish you were a sweet potato pie.
That was Black Girl Tragic.
So, um...
I've decided to come clean with everyone about
whatever happened to me because this isn't changing.
Are you sure?
I hid this little girl in me for so long,
trying to be someone I'm not.
But no more.
This is me.
Hey, so, I...
I looked at your app.
It's good.
- Really? - No.
The truth is, it's really great.
I just got jealous.
I thought you were trying to steal my thunder or something.
But it was petty of me. It was small.
Very small.
I'm...
S...
Sorry!
What?
I've just never heard you say those words before.
Thank you.
You're really talented, April.
I mean it.
You were right.
I was trying to take my shot with Connor.
But I wasn't trying to stab you in the back or anything. I just...
I wanted to get mine.
Well, good for you.
That means you're ready.
So I got this?
Are you asking, or are you telling?
No, I got this. I got it.
And you know I have your back, right?
'Cause I know how much winning means to you.
But I've been winning the wrong way.
I realized that I wasn't letting people be themselves
because I never accepted myself.
Now I know that I can win and still be me.
So go and pitch your idea tomorrow.
Without you?
When you win, my whole company wins.
And also,
you're a really good friend.
Honestly, my first.
So that's why you're so bad at it.
Come here with your cute little self.
- Okay. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You're adorable.
Morning inspiration.
Even if you press the snooze button,
it's never too late to become the person you've always wanted to be.
Wake up, Jordan.
Uh...
I'm back!
I'm back! I'm back!
I'm back! I'm back! I'm back!
I love you! Oh, God!
I am never leaving you again!
Oh, God!
Here I come! I'm back!
Connor, thank you again.
We are so excited to pitch this idea for you.
- We've been working hard. It's good... - Uh...
Jordan Sanders sighting, folks!
Connor!
You know I wouldn't let you down.
Jordan, you're big... Back! You're back.
- Oh, she's... She back. - Yep.
I'm back.
Thank you, Connor, so much for just coming
and allowing us to share this pitch with you today.
I mean, I personally...
I love it...
And, um, I love the person responsible for it.
So please let me re-introduce you to my colleague.
Miss April Williams will be pitching for you today.
She is the brains behind DiscoverEyes.
Okay, I know I said fresh voices,
but this whole thing is your assistant's idea?
Yes.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
And you get ready to have your khakis knocked off.
I'm not wearing khakis.
Are you sure? I thought... In my mind, you were.
You got this.
Remember the innocence and the optimism of being a kid?
You were brave enough to be yourself and to do things your way.
You saw the possibilities,
the wonder of the world around you.
Before you grew up, before the walls went up,
before somebody told you the rules or where you fit in,
you were brave enough to see the magic in you.
That is DiscoverEyes.
An app that transforms the ordinary into something extraordinary.
Because we're all extraordinary. We just have to discover it.
Pass.
We had a good run, Jordan.
- You're gonna regret it! - We should probably go, guys.
Good try, April.
So I didn't "got that."
I blew it. I'm sorry.
No. No, no, no. April, we can sell this.
Come on, you can't give up.
I'm not.
I'm gonna schedule 16 more pitches.
There it is. That's my girl.
Oh.
My purse.
Yes. Your purse is right there.
Are you gonna...
- Hmm? - You're not... You gotta.
No, you big.
You big. You're back!
I'm back.
Mornin'.
One second.
I said, "Good morning," woman.
When I say, "Good morning," you say, "Good morning," back.
Good morning.
We're screwed.
It's over. I tried. We all tried.
DiscoverEyes is not happening.
Everybody, outside!
Oh, God!
Now!
Oh. Better bring my Xanax.
Closer.
Closer! Don't be scared. Come in close.
Okay.
JSI...
Well, we've reached the end of a long,
humiliating,
self-esteem-crushing
road of no's.
No! No, no, no!
No, no! No, no! No, no!
No, no, no! No, no!
But as a wise person once said,
"All it takes is one yes."
So please take your little exhausted hands
and put them together,
so we can congratulate April,
who has officially sold DiscoverEyes!
What? Oh, my God!
She did it!
And that's not all.
It is officially the biggest deal in JSI history! We are rich!
We rich!
- Oh, my gosh! - Yeah!
A new day is dawning at JSI.
And it's notjust about me. It is about us!
With that in mind, please,
let me introduce to you
JSI and Associates!
- Step right up, associate April Williams. - Oh, that is...
Thank you!
I need a magnifying glass to see it, but okay.
No, if you just, like, look right...
Like, if you get this close... Like, if you put your forehead on it,
you can see all of it, "And associates."
- Yes. - That's nice.
- That's us now, guys. - Whoo.
We're a team.
And I am so proud of you, April!
Thank you.
You know I'm right here, so you don't have to use that.
Okay, if there's one thing I know,
it's how JSI and Associates likes to celebrate.
Carbs!
You get a donut!
There's donuts!
You're incredible.
Congrats.
You can't do that. I'm a boss now.
What?
Just kidding. You can get it.
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, no.
Guys! What are you doing here?
I'm so happy to see you.
I brought these awesome kids that you've never, ever met before from Windsor
to test out HomeGirl.
- Well, that's awesome. - Yeah.
Thanks for coming, guys.
JSI,
are y'all ready to party?
Yeah!
HomeGirl, I need a vibe.
HomeGirl playing JSI vibe.
Yes!
Uh-huh!
So that's me now.
Jordan Sanders and my best friend, April.
Yeah, I've got a best friend.
And that's the story of how the little girl in me
came back to show that you can't let anyone else define you.
Of course, there's always gonna be people out there
who just don't want you to live your best life.
The trick is not becoming one of them.