Huayi Brothers Media Corporation Huayi Brothers International Limited Present
Presented By Wang Zhongjun
Production Making Film Productions Limited
Sorry
Not again. What's up with you lately?
The traffic was really bad
Liar
I just called the doorman at your place
He said you left at 12:30
Hmm
I didn't know you care so much about me
I just wanna do my job
Let's get started then
Zhou Xun
Your dad's birthday's coming up
What are you getting him?
I dunno. Help me pick something
He's your dad
You know how much he likes you
He'll be happy with anything you pick
What did you give him last year?
A bunch of porn
Huang Xiao Ming
Right
You have such great taste!
Well, it's been some time since my mom died
Can't blame my dad for having needs
Let's go for the same thing this year
But hey
Burn me a copy this time
Can you behave yourself?
What did I do wrong?
Fine
I've got some good news
What?
I'm seeing someone
Executive Producer Wang Zhonglei
A Pang Ho-Cheung Film
Is everything okay?
Sorry
My girlfriend spilled her wine
- Can you please clean it up? - Of course
Why did he think...
You'd be happy for him?
He's a dumbass!
He said I used to ask him
Why he's been single for so long
He thought I'd be glad to hear the news
Well, did you use to do that?
Of course not!
Did I?
Why don't you get a girlfriend?
Hey!
Why aren't you seeing anyone?
Why don't you have a girlfriend?
Well, you can't blame him then
I did everything I could already
I'm a girl
I can't just say to him
"Hey, hit on me?"
I called you here to make her feel better
Sorry
I'm still hung over
Alright, let me get this straight
Hey!
You said her boyfriend cheated on her...
With this slutty bitch from Taiwan, right?
But he never really went out with her
So he's not actually cheating
He betrayed my trust!
When we were in college, he told me
He wouldn't date anyone
My family's not really well off
And my dad's getting old
I want him to have a better life
I wanna put my career first
and make a good living
- And... - When you become a big shot
Until then...
I won't date
You can get a girlfriend anytime you want
Eh?
So you knew it all along
What?
You can't blame him, can you?
I was waiting for him!
Whose side is she on?
Leave us alone!
Get out!
Did you ask him how he met that bitch?
I didn't need to
He told me
Remember my business trip to Taiwan last month?
"Love is like the wind"
"It comes and goes without a trace"
"Making you smile, leaving you in sorrow"
Excuse me...
Can I sit here?
Sure!
- I haven't slept for days - But, uh...
Can you wake me up...
When we get to Terminal 2?
Thanks
Okay
She was sleeping like a kitten
I felt this urge to protect her
I guess men work out at the gym
So that one day we can give girls like her
A shoulder to lean on
We're here
Oops! I drooled
This is so embarrassing
It's all your fault
Huh?
It felt so good
Sleeping on your shoulder
So I drooled
This is so not me
Hey, wait
You left your camera behind
You're sweet
Anyway, bye
Hey!
Wait!
She's a pro
Any hope for me?
Nope
Oh my God! Look at this!
My Love
My Darling
Have you stopped going to therapy?
Ever since watching "Ghost" when I was small
I've wanted to learn this
I fantasized
While I play with the clay
A man just like in the movie
Would hug me from behind
And we'd work on it together
They make pottery in "Ghost"
This is sculpture
It doesn't spin
Who cares
The point is...
It's gotta be
A topless guy
Hugging me from behind
Don't tell me
You've never shagged a guy here before
Sorry
My bad
Listen
Find a new guy. It's been too long
Why are you so into him?
True, he has a big nose
So his package down under must be...
Well, I know you don't give a shit
You drive guys crazy
You'll never know how I feel
He wanted to put his career first
I tried to get him a promotion
That's why I sent him to Taiwan
But he didn't get it at all
He hooked up with a girl there
How can I let it go?
You're right
I get it
This isn't about her anymore
It's about our pride as Shanghai girls
Just help me get him back
A great man once said
"With great power comes great responsibility"
Sounds familiar. Who said that?
Spiderman
You're lucky to have me
I'm the best sweet-talker in town
This is a hard one
But I'm gonna help you
- Thank you - Not so fast
Your case is...
Really tricky
My enemy's too tough
I don’t mind tough competition
But I do mind a dumbass teammate
Time to call the girls
Those Taiwan chicks think they can flirt
Let's show them
How it's really done
Get ready...
To get your man back
The name of our mission?
Who we're proud to be...
"Women Who Flirt"
According to our test
It took the waitress 2 mins and 16 secs
To notice the spilled wine
What's her name?
I'll fire her
Mr. Qiu, the performance of your staff
Is not the problem here
There's a serious imbalance between
Your staff and customers
A customer spends over 500 RMB on average
In China that means a high-end client
At a similar restaurant abroad
The customer/staff ratio would be 1.57
So basically
You're understaffed
That affects the quality of your service
But last time I checked
There's enough staff
Right, Mr. Qiu
That's true
We checked with the restaurant
There're two shifts in a day
7 to 8 people work on each shift
But at least three of them
Are related to the manager
His cousin
His uncle-in-law
His ex-wife's nephew
High school friends of his ex-wife's nephew
Most of the time
These people go AWOL
How's that possible?
Many business owners find it hard to believe
But these things happen
That's why we're here
If I let you inspect all my restaurants
I'd get a discount, right?
Yes, I'll give you a special offer
- Marco! - Yes?
Where are you going?
Hailey left her keys at home. I'm going back
Are you kidding? Michael might wanna talk
You can handle it, you silly goose
Tell him I'm on a site visit
Come on!
By the way, are you free tonight?
Yeah, why?
I told Hailey about you. She wanna buy you dinner
Sure, see you tonight
Well done
Once we seal the deal with Qiu
You'll need more people on the team
I'll put you in charge of Unit C and D
You should pick someone from your team too
Do you have anyone in mind?
Marco's great
Marco?
Really?
Where's he gone anyway?
He's at a client's office
Okay... it's up to you
Thank you
- See you - Alright then, see you
Hey
That chick is inviting me to dinner tonight
That bitch is making the first move
Take the afternoon off
Why?
You need a makeover
Cut the crap, come over now
I'm gonna get you some help
Alright, alright
Honey, sorry, gotta run
Babe, I gotta go
Aw, I want that bag
Sure, let's go shopping
The best pick-up artists in town
Are all here
Let's welcome my girls...
The Barbie Army!
Hi, I'm Gigi
Hi, I'm Kiki
Hello, I'm Mimi
Hi, I'm Lily
Which one of you did I meet last time?
Hi
It's not just about you
The dinner tonight is a matter of pride
Don't you dare embarrass us
Go
Now, loosen up
As they say, you are what you wear
Shanghai girls are
Fashionable
Sophisticated
And sweet
Show that Taiwan chick
Who she's messing with
Remember, grab every chance you get
To show cleavage
Strut your stuff
Drop something
That will do the trick
Opps!
I dropped something
Oh, God
But hey
Her boobs are much bigger than mine
Doesn't matter. Boobs are boobs
Squeeze them hard
Look at my boobs
Oops! Now, pick it up
Not too fast
Take it slow
Let them take a good look
There you go!
Confidence is all that matters
Picture that slutty bitch in your head
- Ready to squeeze? - Come on!
Squeeze
That's what you call a woman's weapon
Oops
If this is too hard for you
Then learn this
Take a selfie
You can post it online
Let everyone see it
Do these poses
One
Two
- Five - One
Is that Dr. Evil?
- Two - Open your eyes
Two
Wider, wider
Like a scared baby
That's right
You got it
Relax. One, two, five
This is harder than I thought
That's all the basics
One, two, five
Good
Get out
Do you have a reservation, ma'am?
- 7 o'clock, Mr. Gong - 7 o'clock
I'm sorry, ma'am
We don't have your reservation
Really?
Excuse me
What name is the reservation under?
What?
- Feeling cold? - I'm just hungry
What the...
Angie, dear
It's so nice to meet you
Hubby told me so much about you
Wow!
You look just like I thought
- Is that right? - Yes
You are different than I thought
Seriously?
I don't wanna give a bad impression
Hi, Wang
Oh, it's you
Hey, sorry
I was rushing to pick her up
I forgot to call you
You didn't go to the restaurant, right?
Hubby told me
You used to come here with him
When you were in college
I wanted to meet you
And
And hear his story from you
So we decided to eat here instead
Eh?
Angie, dear
Where did you use to sit?
Me?
Right where you are now
I hate you! I hate you!
You should have told me!
It's rude of me to take her seat
Angie, dear
Shall we
Switch our seats?
Right, you two should switch seats
You like sitting next to me
No, I'm good
Dinner's ready
(Let me take a look at that slutty bitch!)
You two are still together? That's sweet
Well, we're...
Working together
This is my girlfriend
Hi, Wang
Wow
This looks delicious
You're cute, and you cook so well
No wonder hubby used to come here
I thought you hated taking pictures of your food
People change
You of all people should know that
You're someone's hubby now, aren't you?
When did that happen?
Last time I checked, you're still a virgin
Ha ha
Not funny
You can tell she's a scheming bitch
She's got a nice rack though
Damn, this is bad
I've seen it all
They lavish you with fake compliments
Angie, dear, I love what you're wearing
I studied fashion design in France
And I had a thing for this kinda...
Theatrical outfit
But I always knew
I couldn't pull it off
It makes me look like a clown
I prefer something simpler
nothing flashy
You know?
She looks like Lady Gaga tonight
They act all innocent
They're really good at it
They make a man feel like a hero
I wish I could be more independent
Like you, Angie
Taking care of myself
But I just can't
Thank God my hubby was with me last time
Without him I'd have lost my passport
Sweetie, did you tell dear Angie
About the blackout at my place?
Oh right
- The other day... - Stop
Stop! Stop! Stop!
It's so embarrassing
Fine, go ahead
I guess...
Angie's part of our family now
Exactly!
I think it's kinda cute, too
Alright
The other night she called me crying
The power went out at her place. She got scared
So I took a cab and rushed over
Guess what?
Stop, really
Please stop
- Don't tell her - It wasn't...
It wasn't a blackout
She just forgot to pay the electric bill
I hate you
Angie, you wouldn't believe it
The whole place fell into darkness
But...
That's also the night we got together
I hate you
And worst of all, they can make a man
Do whatever they want
Hubby
Feed me
Be careful. It's hot
Here
Is it good?
I love it when you feed me
This is their signature dish, rabbit stir fry
We used to order this all the time
What's wrong?
Is it too spicy? Drink some water
Here you go
What's wrong? Why are you crying?
How could you?
Bunnies are cute
You're so cruel
I used to have a pet rabbit
I was born in the year of the rabbit
Okay
Don't cry
(What should I do?)
Don't cry, my dear
We won't eat it anymore
That's so cruel
The tears are ruining your makeup
Don't cry, my darling
Please don't cry
I'll stop eating it
And so will you
Yuck, I hate rabbit meat
Don't cry, honey
She's still eating!
Girls don't eat bunnies. That's cruel
Now that's unfair
She's a dude
She pees standing up
Let's go. We're not eating it.
Let's go home
Don't cry
That was horrible
We'll be home soon
It's over
Whoa
Did someone break in last night?
You were right. I should just let go
I was so stupid
It was a trap
And I walked right into it
Alright
It was pretty bad
But that was just one night
We still have a chance
Hey!
What's this?
My aunt in Hong Kong sent it to me
She said I shouldn't get a dog if I'm single
Or I'll end up like that woman in the news
(Dead Spinster Eaten by Pets)
It's over
I'm hopeless
Just let me be
It's not over
Until I say so
Get up
Angie's been acting weird lately
She's not into me, is she?
If I were her
I'd crush you to death right now
When we were in college, we all knew
Angie's got a thing for you
But you've always treated her like a dude
Is it that obvious?
But she's really like a bro to me
Fine, then
Has she ever peed standing next to you?
Do you two ever flirt with chicks together?
The thing is
I think of her as my bro from day one
There's nothing ladylike about her
I'm a dude, you know
I like sweet girls
If I were into butch girls
I might as well date a guy
Stop it
Nah
These dating apps
Are for men
What kind of girls would use them?
Normal girls
I'm telling you
Flirting is like being an assassin
You start with long range weapons
Like a sniper rifle
Keep your distance from the target
So that your attack wouldn't backfire
Now
Let's get started
With the basics - texting
I can text Marco right now
Why do I have to flirt with other men?
Unless you practice with strangers
You'll never know what your weaknesses are
Not to mention...
Most men using these apps are otaku
They're pretty easy to deal with
Here, I did the installation
Take a picture first
- Delete it - Why?
You think your double chin is sexy?
It's just a selfie
- Watch - And learn
High angle, chin down
Look up a little
Try to look innocent
That's the standard pose
Learn it well!
This is really lame
- But guys love it - So learn it well
There're three things you should remember
Angle, angle and angle
Hurry up
High angle
A bit higher
- Higher still - Chin down
Look up a little
- Chin down - Act innocent
Make a pitiful face like an orphan
Now snap
Let's see
Always retouch your photos
Give her a hand
See if there's any guy around worth shagging
Or chatting with
Here you go. Hit it
He's hot!
Wow
People are actually responding
(You've added Wolf as a friend. Start chatting)
Are they jobless or something?
What should I say?
- Whatever you want - This guy's cute
Hi
My name's Angie
Wait, are you having a job interview?
How do you expect him to reply?
Always start with a question
Ask him, "What are you doing?"
What are you doing?
(I'm wondering who's missing me now)
(Should I down Louis XIII or Kinmen Liquor?)
(Yeah I'm doing it. Wanna join?)
Wait. Hold on
Remember, don't flirt like a loyal dog
You know what cats do?
They tease you
And ignore you when you warm up to them
In a nutshell
Be passive aggressive
So should I reply him or not?
Think about what you wanna say
And reply him tonight
(I dunno, but you sound like you miss me)
(Louis XIII's been dead for ages)
(Yeah I'm doing it. Wanna join?)
(Jerk)
(Who? I'll beat him for you)
(Then slap yourself 3 times)
(I'm not a jerk. I'm nice)
You're good at drawing
Why haven't you drawn me anything before?
Why haven't you drawn for me?
That's amazing!
You're so awesome!
Angie drew them
When we were in college
Whenever she got bored
She'd draw on my notebook
I'm sure there was something between you two
Of course not, she's a dude
Then why do you still have this
Next to your bed?
Cause there's nothing between us
Absolutely nothing
I don't have to hide it from you
Hey, don't be upset
What's wrong?
I just don't like it
Alright, don't be mad
Don't be mad, please
Let me show you something
What?
Put your hand inside
Quick
What is it?
A bit lower
Lower
Lower still
You feel something hard?
Grab it and pull it out
What's this?
You told me you wanna cycle all the way
Around Taiwan with your friends
My leave application got rejected
But I got you a ticket
Have fun with your friends
You're the best
(What are you doing?)
Do you wanna
Get your hands
On something else?
(I'm with Hailey)
I still remember the look on Angie's face...
When she draws. It's adorable
I've asked myself before
Whether I should try to date her
But somehow we're like parallel lines
No matter how close we are, we never meet
Enough texting
Time to do some training on the ground
Go!
Angie
Quick, say something
I'm Mike
Keep your head up. Your double chin's showing
Just say something
- Quick - Expats are great
- I love them - Same here
I don't really care
As long as he's got a big nose
Hey
What should I say to him?
The key to flirting is
Just pretend you like whatever the guy's saying
Whatever he says, just do this
Oh, really?
Tell me, please
I hate you
I have no idea
It works every time
Go ahead
Hey
Do you know how to play?
I have no idea
No problem. I'll teach you
But today is your first lesson
That's okay, I can teach you anyway
Your hand...
Feels really cold
Oops
Sorry
I forgot to tell you my secret identity
I'm Mr. Freeze
These hands make great sushi
Really?
I love sushi
When can I get a taste of your sushi?
I'm afraid
There won't be a chance
The sushi business is shrinking
The market is too small
I did some research
And I thought
I'd be better off working as a makeup artist
I'm straight though
Super straight. No worries
Place your left hand over your right hand
The trick is
To thrust your hip
Good, nice. Now thrust it
That's my cell
Really?
Yes, it's just my cell
Now, pay attention
Watch your hands. Focus on the ball
Look down
And thrust your hip
Good, very good
Let me do it on my own
- You don't have to help me - Alright. Go ahead
So...
You must know a lot of pretty girls
Not really
Company policy forbids us from dating clients
I don't believe you
If they like your work
They would love to see you again
If they come and see me again
Then I'm in trouble
What do you think of my makeup today?
Your makeup?
It's nice
You look better than my clients
- You're kidding - No
It's obvious
You look healthy
My clients
They all look pale
I met a client this morning
She got her face caved in
I had no idea what she was thinking
She could've picked a better place to land
When she jumped off that building
Why on earth
Would she land on a concrete slab?
What was I supposed to do with her face?
You put makeup on dead people?
You shouldn't put it like that
I'm a "Makeup Consultant" for the deceased
Let me tell you a secret
Eh?
Tell me, please
Have you heard of
Rocket poop?
What?
Really?
I was driving one night
Suddenly my stomach started to hurt
I reached an intersection. There was nobody around
I pulled over, came out of the car
And pooped on the spot
It felt amazing
You know what happened next?
I have no idea
Pooping in a toilet is one thing
But when you poop on the ground
When you push really hard
The poop that comes out...
It would push you upward
Once I was done, I got back to the car
I turned and looked
Gosh, my poop was just standing there
Like a monument or something
Right at the intersection. It was L-shaped
I hate you!
Listen
If we get together
you have to promise me
No matter how much we fight
You'll never jump off a building
But if you really wanna, let's say...
Jump off a building
Make sure you land on grass
It's much softer
I hate you!
Angie...
What did I do wrong?
It's the way you say
"I hate you"
But I learned it from you
Where did I go wrong?
When you flirt
You gotta sugarcoat
Even when you're insulting the guy
I hate you
Stop it
Go away
If you look him in the eye and say
I hate you!
Then you're screwed
But my mom used to say we should always
Look people in the eye when we talk to them
I hate you
Hey you!
You're stealing my oranges again
Oops, we didn't do it on purpose
We didn't know they were yours
We had no idea
I just wanna get a taste
They're so expensive
Alright, just don't take them all
- You're the best! - Thank you
You gotta be kidding me
Where have you been?
This is the power of flirting
I hate you
Am I doing it right?
Hey, I'm getting better at this, right?
- Yes, much better - I hate you
I hate you
Wow, that's a big one
I hate you
(IOU Coupon)
What do you see?
Cows
Lots of cows piled into a huge baby
It kinda stinks like...
Bullshit
No?
This is art. Show some respect
Our professor used to say
You have talent in art
But you gave that all up for Marco
Was it worth it?
I wanted to be with him
So I got a job in Shanghai
If you could choose again
Would you stay and work here
Or continue with your sculpting?
I don't know
I really don't know
What do you like about him?
He's cute, don't you think?
He cares about me, and he shows it in funny ways
What was that?
You're a girl. Cover your mouth when you yawn
Stuffing your mouth? That's what you call "caring"?
Well then, I know a lot of guys
Who care about me
You can't go head to head with that bitch
You don't have what it takes
You'll just fight a losing battle
Hi
Do you miss silly goose?
I miss you every night
So much that I'd cry
I hate you
Alright, I gotta go
See you tonight
Bye
Where were we?
I'm fighting a losing battle
Oh yes
Well, she's out of town now. Grab the chance.
Tell Marco you like him
No way
I've known him for years
He's always treated me like a dude
I wouldn't know what to say
What's the best time to have an office romance?
Enlighten me
Business trips
My leggies miss you
Tell them
I miss them too
(IOU Coupon)
No way!
You still have it with you?
Come and see the Ju Ming exhibition with me
What?
He's having an exhibition in Shanghai?
No, we're going to Taipei
Why?
We have a case in Taipei
I got you two days off
So come with me, okay?
But you didn't approve my leave last time
Why's that?
Why would I let you emasculate yourself
And do everything that princess wants?
What about now?
Now's the time...
For you to return all the favors I did you
Define the law of diminishing returns
Within a certain period of time...
Consumer goods would...
As the number of goods increases...
Consumers would...
What?
I'm so tired!
Let me take a nap
Please!
No, you pighead!
Cause I'm stuck here with you, I missed the Ju Ming exhibition
Wake up!
What's this?
I know you're doing all this for me
I promise I'll make it up to you one day
(IOU Coupon)
Just let me take a nap
Please
Hey, we got you a survival kit
For your trip
Look at this
That's a lot
Well, you're spending a few nights with him
There's more
This is way too much
Not at all
Wait till you see what she got you
What's that?
Undies
Do people actually wear that?
Try it on
They look like flying guillotines
I hate you
- What? - You just nailed it
It sounds just right
Do it again
I hate you
Not so good. Again
Get in the mood
I hate you
You're almost there
- Again, again - I hate you
- Again - I hate you
I hate you
Thanks, y'all
- Good luck! - You can do it
- Go! - Yeah!
You wanna beat that bitch? Learn from her
Sleep on his shoulder
You know what, sleeping on his shoulders...
It's just not doable
Why do I have to copy the things that bitch does?
Ma'am, please turn off your cell phone. Thank you
Did you just call somebody a bitch?
What? No
Well, I was asking the flight attendant
If there's any...
Beach
In Taipei
By the way
Don't tweet anything during the trip
Hailey might get the wrong idea
I told her I couldn't leave work
Now I'm going to Taipei
She'd think I ditched her on purpose
Why would she think that?
You're here because you owe me
Isn't he a jerk?
Well
Think about it
He's asking you to be discreet
If he doesn't have feelings for you
He wouldn't do that
Be more aggressive
How?
That'd be embarrassing
We're waging war, girl. Can't play it safe
There will be blood
Trust me
Get out of your comfort zone
Men...
Are like a pile of hay
Give them a match
And they'll burn themselves up
Anyway, I gotta go
Maybe you should watch porn with him
That's kinda hard to pull off
Let me think about it
I wanna try that!
What?
- Can I have one? - Of course
- How much? - 50 TWD
Thank you
- Welcome - Thanks
Pairing tomatoes with prunes
Have a bite
- Is it good? - It's really good, c'mon
Who came up with this idea?
Pairing tomatoes with prunes?
They don't seem to match
Whoever did this is a genius
Cut the tomato in half, and stuff in a prune
How did he come up with it?
Maybe
He was eating prunes
And then someone offered him a tomato
He mixed the flavors together
Found it amazing
And came up with the recipe
- Wow! - Wow!
That's a lot of red beans
They should register this
As intangible cultural heritage
With the UN
You're crazy
Wow! Cotton candy!
And it's blue!
- What? - I wanna play!
- Eh? - I wanna ride this
- This one - It's for kids
So what?
Forget it
Look, they're all playing
You take this one
It's perfect for you
Get on
- Come on - Seriously?
Seriously
Hey you!
These are for kids
You grown-ups would break them
Excuse me, sir
He's my brother
He's retarded
He loves riding this thing
If you don't let him
He'll get upset. Please
Doo-doo
He'll poop right here
- Pee-pee - Please
Doo-doo, doo-doo
- Ma'am - Doo-doo
Please don't do that to your boyfriend
He's trying so hard to please you
He's obviously not retarded
Oops
So you can tell?
Of course
I'm not retarded
Go ahead. I gotta doo doo
- Thank you - Thank you so much
Open you mouth
Let's take another one
One, two, cheese!
What's up? Are you done?
Any update?
What's the noise?
We're riding the plane
Is that some kinda fancy position?
Stop it
Time's running out
When that bitch comes... back
Then it's all over for you
Grab your chance now
Can you be more specific?
You know what men like?
Kinky girls
Okay, I'll try
Okay, bye bye
Bye
Nice pussy
There you are
Thanks for finding my pussy
My pleasure
Here I come!
I'm going back to my room
See you tomorrow
Good night
You too
Hey!
Sleep tight
What's up?
Wanna watch some porn?
Come
There isn't any adult channel on this thing
And they say Taiwan is a decadent place?
I'm going back then
Wait, I have an idea
It should be easy
Alright
What's this?
Curling. We used to watch this in the dorm
It's just like
Watching porn
No way
Give it a try
Close your eyes
Right?
But it sounds exhausting
Well, each national team has its own style
With the Europeans and Americans, for example
There's a sense of joy and excitement
The Japanese, on the other hand
When they moan, you can feel a kinda pain
But there's also a sense of desire
Oh no, please stop
Aww, gimme more
Stop, please
I'm tired
Good night
It's raining so hard
Should we go or wait here?
Let's wait here
(Feeling like a kid again in Taipei night market)
Excuse me. I'm going to the Juming Museum
Should I take the bus here?
Yes
Just take the bus from Taipei to Jinshan
Thanks
Baby, calm down
Please don't cry
We should wait here
Alright
Send me your address
Okay, bye
What's wrong?
I gotta go to Taichung
You really don't have to come with me
You should go to the exhibition
We were supposed to see it together
It'd be boring to go on my own
What's wrong with Hailey?
I don't know either
She was crying terribly
I guess she hurt her leg or something
By the way
You left this in my room last night
What is it?
It's...
I'm surprised you don't know
It's a flying guillotine
What?
Flying guillotine, you know
Well, I went to...
Watch a movie with a friend the other day...
It's called "The Guillotines"
This is just a souvenir
They gave away at the cinema
Oh
No, it's okay. Just throw it away
Babe
Hubby
Are you okay?
Where did you get hurt?
Here, look
When I got up this morning
I tripped and fell
My friends all cycled on
And left me here by myself
Thank god you're here. What would I do without you?
Is that it?
I was scared. I don't want any scars!
Hubby, you told me you like my legs
So...
I was terrified
If I get a scar on my leg you won't like me anymore
And then I got really sad
I couldn't stop crying
Don't be silly
You think I'm that shallow?
I won't leave you
Even if you lose your legs
Really?
Of course
You still got a nice rack
Hey!
I hate you
I told you
I just wanted a fling
I've been seeing my girlfriend for 7 years
She's wonderful
Why would I wanna leave her?
Fine
I'll call her now and break up with her
Hey
That slutty bitch
Must've read my tweet
She's sabotaging my plan
What are you gonna do then?
She ruined my trip. I'll ruin hers
Poor Hailey
It really hurts, huh?
I'm fine
Hubby's here. It's alright now.
Angie, dear
You should go to the exhibition in Taipei
Don't worry about me
Okay?
Hubby
Let's walk Angie to the station, shall we?
Sure
- Hailey, dear - Yes?
Do you really hate me that much?
What? Why?
You're the best, Angie
- Is that true? - Yes
Well, I love this place. It's really relaxing
And I haven't gone cycling for so long
Let's go cycling together
What do you think?
Marco?
Sure!
I'd like that
It'd be fun to spend time with Angie
- I'm so excited! - Yeah!
I'm thrilled that the three of us...
Are going cycling together!
Great!
- That's really great! - I'm so thrilled!
- Marco? - Yes?
We're going cycling together. Aren't you excited?
Yeah!
Hey...
Did you see the news?
It's so lame
There's this guy
His friends gave him a can of soda
Hold on...
So he put it in the refrigerator
After a few weeks
He took it out
For some reason
The can just kept on swelling
He didn't know what to do
He didn't know how to get rid of it
So he just...
Kept holding it in his hands
And finally the can just...
Exploded!
He got hit in the eye
My tummy hurts so much. That's hilarious
What's so funny about it?
Maybe I'm a simple person
I love to laugh
Do you think it's funny?
Eh?
It's pretty funny
Right?
Yeah!
He left it there for weeks...
Hubby, I wanna eat those sausages
- Hello - Three, please
- Okay - I love street food
I bet you like meatballs too?
Eep! You're making me blush
I meant chicken nuggets
Let her go
She had some last night
Stop laughing!
Here you go
Thanks, hubby
Would you like a sausage too?
Hey, hubby
I wanna drink green tea
Can you go and buy it for me?
Sure
You want some?
- Green tea? - Yeah
No!
Angie, you're wasting your time
No matter what you do
Hubby will never fall for you
Just give up
Why are you so sure?
Every boyfriend I've had
Is stuck to me like glue
I've seen women much younger and sexier than you
They flirt much better too
None of them managed to take me down
You actually had the guts to come all the way here
Look at yourself, for Christ's sake
Don't be so sure
When he kissed me in bed the other night
It didn't seem like you were on his mind at all
You think a one-night-stand would
Turn the tides? You think I'd care?
Men are all scumbags
I don't give a damn
To me...
He's just a boy toy
You're pretty. You know how to flirt
If you're not really into him
Why are you messing with him?
To be honest
I was just teasing him on the bus that day
But then he couldn't stop talking about you
I got really pissed off
So I arranged a dinner
To see who the hell you are
That night he split your chopsticks for you
Right in front of me
I hate it when he's so nice to you
Even when I'm just right next to him
I decided right away to fight this battle
Are you out of your mind?
Love's not a competition
That's what the losers say
And I'm...
not a loser
You know what happened the other day?
All I did was whine a little
Then he got rid of that notebook
With all your Ju Ming sketches
Hubby!
What happened? Why are you crying?
What's wrong? Don't cry, babe
Don't cry
Maybe
I did something wrong
And Angie got mad
You lying bitch!
Hey!
Can you just stop picking on this little girl
For my sake?
Marco Gong
I'm gonna ask you this only once
Are you coming with me?
Stop it
Where do you want me to go?
Where are you going?
Hey! Where are you going?
Don't cry
Where are we going?
Follow my direction
Okay
Right
Left
Right
Left
(Juming Museum)
Ju Ming is famous for his chiseling
It's sharp and quick
It's effortless
When I learned sculpting as a kid
I always admired his quick, forceful strokes
Because I hesitate too much when I work
But not this time
I jumped in with no thought
But the chisel cut me up
Until I couldn't recognize myself anymore
But I'm made of flesh, not stone
Does he know the pain
He's caused me?
You don't think she had an accident?
I can't reach her
She can take care of herself
Don't worry
She's never missed my call
Maybe something happened to her
I gotta go back to Taipei
Don't go!
Hubby!
You came here to see me
Not her
Besides...
She was bullying me
How come you're on her side?
What happened exactly?
Why would she yell at you all of a sudden?
I have no idea
Maybe she's jealous?
What did you say to her?
Nothing
I was just telling her
No matter how close you two used to be
You're my guy now
So...
I wouldn't let her fawn over you
Don't even think about it
It's nothing like that
You're thinking too much
I don't believe you
When I told her you threw away
That notebook with all her sketches
Because of me
I could tell from her face
She's really into you
What?
Why did you have to tell her that?
See!
Why are you all riled up?
I hate you!
Make your choice now
It's me or her
Answer me
Answer me!
I used to wonder when I read the tabloids
Why girls like Paris Hilton
Never really have a decent love life?
They flirt too much
After a while
All the sweet talk gets really annoying
I'm going back to Taipei
Are you looking for someone?
Sorry
Did Angie Zhang switch to another room?
I'm her friend
Miss Zhang checked out already
Thank you
Michael
I haven't seen Angie for two days
Is she on leave?
You haven't heard?
She resigned
Where did she go?
I was about to ask you the same thing
Is she working for Qiu now?
Why did she quit right after the trip?
I don't know
Anyway, Angie told me
To let you lead the team
Good luck. I'm counting on you
Marco Gong!
Marco Gong! Not again!
You bastard!
Marco Gong!
Sorry, Excuse me
Hey!
Your bike got stolen again?
Yes
Why would he leave me a wheel?
That's pretty kind of him
Every time I lost my bike
Angie would always take me home
But this time
I think I've lost her
Hey
I thought...
You were bringing your girlfriend
We broke up
What?
We broke up!
Already?
Where's Angie?
The other day
She dropped by and gave me a birthday gift
She said she'd come back
When was that?
Two days ago
What did she give you?
What did you say?
What did she give you?
She gave me this
You know what, over the years
I've helped many people unlock their doors
But there's one door
That I can't open, no matter how hard I try
The door to your heart
Son
Deep down you know she likes you
But you never take her seriously
Angie
Is like a fool
- For sticking around - What did I do wrong?
I had no idea
I only found out recently
You think she's a dude and you joke about it
But think about it
That's exactly why
You like her
Well...
I'm not comfortable with her getting flirty
I like our little fights though
Your mom passed away too soon
And I was busy working all the time
We made you feel insecure
You were afraid she'd reject your love
So you shut her out, right?
She's been hiding from me. What can I do?
Do you know
Why kids like playing hide-and-seek?
Because they want to be found
"I fear the stillness in the air"
I'm really grateful
Thank you for all the help you've given me
"I fear the memories we share"
"They haunt me and leave me in despair"
So you're going to Hangzhou?
Yes
I wanna go to grad school
I gave up too much for that jerk
I haven't sculpted anything for years
Okay
Look at this
Listen
This is not a cappuccino
This is a memory loss potion
Drink it
And put the past behind you
Forget that pighead. Forget that slutty bitch
Bottoms up
Bon voyage
All of a sudden I miss you
Where are you?
Are you feeling blue?
All of a sudden I miss you
I'm having adéjà vu
Tears blurring my view
What are you doing here?
Listen, I'm kinda an insecure guy
My mom died when I was a kid
We were not a wealthy family
When I meet a girl I like, I get shy
Then I met you. The timing was perfect
But I was too scared and stupid to ask you out
I was selfish. I thought I was protecting you
- But I was protecting myself - Forget it
And uh...
You know
I realized
You're like the tomato
And I'm the prune
Although we are in the same basket
All we are is close
I never thought we would go well together
Until I entered you by accident
And realized we're a perfect match
It's...
Just a figure of speech
Perfect match? Bullshit
You listened to that woman and threw everything away
I didn't!
You know what?
I've kept
Everything you gave me
Even the flying guillotine
You told me to throw away
I kept it but I didn't tell you
I used it to decorate my phone
What's the point?
You're seeing someone now
I broke up with Hailey
I told her
I'm not interested in girls
I always thought
I should find myself
A sweet girlfriend
But after the trip
I came to terms with myself
My desires
I'm...
Gay
You
Are my true love
Wait a second
Why would that turn you into a gay man?
That's not the point
The thing is
I love you
Angie
You don't have to change yourself for me
You're a dude, and that's fine
I'm the one
Who has to do a little adjustment
Now I know...
What kinda person I am
And I know
I need someone like you
I love you just the way you are
I'm sorry
Go get him!
Hey pighead!
Yes?
Where are you going?
I don't expect you to forgive me
I'm gonna spend the rest of my life
Thinking about the mistakes I made
You wish
I still have a lot of IOU coupons with me
I'll use them all. You're not going anywhere
I know better now
There's no use sweet talking to you
I'll let you do all the sweet talking
So
Can silly goose forgive pighead?
Hang on
What if you run into another girl
With a nice rack
And she's really good at flirting?
What would you do?
Absolutely nothing
I told you. I'm gay
Girls...
I'm fed up with them
I just wanna spend time
With my hot boyfriend
I hate you
Let's go!
I wanna eat some bunnies
Alright!
Let's bite their heads off!
- Let's go! - Go!
Talk about passive aggressive
What a pro
Produced, Story & Directed by Pang Ho-Cheung
Written by Pang Ho-Cheung Luk Yee Sum Zhang Youyou
Inspired by Toolbook
"Everyone Loves Tender Women" by LOVERMAN
Subi Liang Produced by
Producer Zhang Dajun
Associate Producer Kenny Chan
Administrative Producers Helen Li Bernard Yang
Sie Yi Lin Sui Tang Co-starring
Guest Appearance
Qu Niciren Li Fangding Yang Kaidi Ni Musi
Special Appearance Hong Hong
Jake Pollock Director of Photography
Man Lim Chung Image Designer
Art Director Kong Hun Lim
Editor Wenders Li (H.K.S.E.)
Original Music Alan Wong Janet Yung
Tu Duu-Chih Sound Designer
"Oh"
"My love"
"My darling"
"I've hungered for your touch"
"A long"
"Lonely time"
"And time"
"Goes by so slowly"
"And time can do so much"
"Are you still mine"
"I need your love"
"God speed your love to me"
"Lonely rivers flow to the sea"
What's wrong?
It's really cold in here
Can I put my shirt on?
But we're doing "Ghost"
You can't treat me like a slave
One IOU coupon
And I end up like this
You still have a lot of coupons left
God knows what would happen to me!
Shh...
Pamper me now
Then I'll tip you
With another coupon, alright?
Thank you, your majesty
"Are you still mine?"
"I need your love"