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something really terrible.
So Morgan, who is your pick?
Hottest female serial killer ever.
That's a tough call. - Mhm.
Kristen Gilbert had that whole boring thing
going on that's kind of hot.
But Myra Hindley had great style.
She did.
She really did.
My vote is for Josephine "the clipper" Walker,
great bone structure, into personal hygiene,
highly intelligent.
Sounds like me.
Highly intelligent.
Cool.
So I'm going to go out on a limb, as they say,
and put my money on countess Bathory,
even though it's really hard to tell what she looks like.
Well, you've always been into mystery.
And yet I dated you.
And it looks like our listeners
agree with me, once again.
The crown goes to "the clipper" with "bad professor"
Lila Childs sliding into a sultry second
and fashion week's Myra Hindley taking the bronze.
Join us next week as we put our $0.02
into the health care debate with our episode
that takes on the nurse curse.
We'll talk about why so many lady killers
had double lives as caretakers.
I'm Morgan.
I'm Jean.
And we are...
"women who kill."
In 300 feet, take a left on rolling
correctional facility road.
Why didn't you tell me I had Kale in my teeth?
I thought it was that tooth.
What tooth?
You know the one that gets sort of gray.
- Oh my god. - What?
Why do you care what you look like anyway?
It's a prison.
Don't make me feel bad about trying
- to look presentable. - I'm not.
I just don't think Lila's going to care what you look like.
Great.
Rub it in.
We both know she's going to respond more to you.
What's that supposed to mean?
You've seen the victims' photos.
I mean, they all look like...
- Lesbians. - Wait.
Are you saying I look like a...
No, just never mind.
Can I help you?
Morgan hall for Lila Childs.
Are you together?
We're exes.
She means are we here together.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry to tell you about the Kale your teeth.
I didn't want to embarrass you.
No you didn't want to embarrass you.
They're your teeth.
Your comfort trumps my discomfort, as always.
Nobody even saw the Kale in your teeth,
so you couldn't have any discomfort.
I need to touch your bra, ma'am.
Did you already touch hers?
Mm.
I'm just saying you should explore
your vulnerability issues because usually
they're at my expense.
Maybe my vulnerability issues stem out of the fact
that you're not comfortable with me being vulnerable.
Well, you trick people with your boyishness.
I can't help that I can lift semi-heavy things.
- Oh, shit.
How do I look? - You look beautiful.
How do I look?
You have something in your teeth.
Pat her down on the way back.
Morgan.
No contact, please.
Can't tell a dyke from a debutante these days, can you?
She's bisexual.
What?
You are.
But I don't say it out loud.
Do you mind if we record?
You can do anything you want.
You remind me of someone.
So we should get started.
For each episode, we interview a female murderer
to get her side of things.
Who else have you interviewed?
We got a chance to speak with Josephine Walker right
before she died.
Oh, she's the one who clipped the ladies'
nails right before she...
Stabbed them in the heart.
She was good.
A little heavy on the methodology, but I
respect her conviction.
We also had a...
A great chat, actually, with Debbie Cain.
Oh, there's an overrated cunt.
She had a higher victim count than you do.
Sweetheart, if I was going for quantity over quality,
I would have taught at community college.
Debbie is one of the most notorious female serial killers
who ever lived.
I went to community college.
Debbie is an entitled slut who stole a bunch of babies
and tossed them in the trunk of her Volvo.
All you have to do nowadays to go down in history
is rely on the mediocrity of shock value.
You killed 12 of your students
and used their bodies as fertilizer on the azaleas
in your greenhouse.
You don't call that shock value?
Oh, honey, no.
I call that love.
Please don't make me go to a strip club.
You're already making me wear a tux.
It's my bachelor party.
You're my best dyke.
When have you ever known me to wear a suit?
Eh, then wear a dress.
Go the bachelorette party.
Talk about midwives and shit.
I don't want to wear a dress.
I just want to wear something that's not a suit.
This one advertises sports, steaks, and pussy.
Perfect.
Speaking of pussy, how's Jean?
One comment says, "slutty bitches everywhere."
You think that's good or bad?
That's good.
Have you guys slept together again?
Alex, please stop bugging me about Jean, Ok?
We're not getting back together.
Can I say one thing?
No.
Enemy within, dude, self-sabotage.
You undermine shit.
That's three things.
I'm just saying Jean's good for you.
You are good for her.
Well, I want something more than just
being good for someone.
Well, that's all there is.
Love isn't romance.
It's survival.
Survival's depressing.
Not if you're dying, technically.
Mm-mm.
Technically, this isn't your conversation.
Oh, shit. - What?
I got to go.
I have to be early for my co-op shift.
Seriously, I'm losing out to a grocery store.
They have really great produce.
Come on.
What about my bachelor party?
I'll book the steak and pussy club, Ok?
Bye.
Oh, it's you.
It's you.
I love your show.
When you grab her like that,
she thinks I'm not good enough.
Hey, Morgan, new member.
She was fine when you were looking at her.
You don't know that.
You need to stop putting words in my mouth.
Morgan, I need you in orientation.
Samantha's supposedly in labor.
But I have a new member.
No, I'll take her.
I've never done an orientation before.
Morgan, I really need you to be with me on this one, Ok?
Great.
Oh, make sure they know that the earth machine was finally
approved for the goddamned urban farm, which nobody
goes into without a hard hat.
Hi.
You do a good job.
Thank you.
Here, take her back.
Just come here.
Good job, of course.
Each of you should sign up...
for your shift.
Each of you should sign up for your shifts after this meeting
by filling out a form from the red binder.
Remember, you are required to volunteer
three hours every four weeks to be a member.
If you miss one shift,
you are required to make up two.
This concludes our orientation.
I would like to officially congratulate you
on being a new member of the green hill food co-operative,
happy food, happy people.
Thanks.
I'd like to sign up for a shift.
Oh.
You're supposed to go to an orientation first.
Well, you saw me there, didn't you?
Yeah, but you're required to stay through the whole thing.
Mm.
Morgan, right?
I'm Simone.
Do you mind if I take a look?
No one will know.
But...
Oh, there's a spot left for right here.
It's your shift.
We can work together.
Don't let me get you in trouble.
Ok, just hurry.
Now, you know how to reach me.
All right, now, tell us about the unicorn
that you bought a few days before the murder.
Now, you had it inscribed with a date
and the names of your children.
Was it a memorial?
No, it was a way of me just saying, hey,
this is our new start on life.
A unicorn is a type of horse.
And a horse is wild and free.
In your diary, you refer to "heart love."
What's that mean?
It's the only love that really matters.
It isn't sexual.
It's deeper than that.
But in the letters, I was over dramatizing.
You're always over dramatizing.
You have what's known as a histrionic personality.
What?
You've never heard the results of your psychological tests?
Deviant sociopath.
You know what that means?
Do you think maybe we spend too much time together?
You think we spend too much time together?
Oh, I mean, just maybe we can try to do things separately.
That's probably smart, right?
Right?
Do you want to start now or...
No, tomorrow's better for me.
Me too.
I'll never get over how beautiful this park is.
We're so lucky.
Uh-huh.
I hope the swans are here today.
Hey, I think we should head home and start working.
No, let's... Let's work outside.
I brought my computer.
You mean, sit on the grass?
Why not?
Just urine.
Well, how about over here?
You know, just for a little while.
Fine.
All right, fine, you win.
What?
I saw that.
Jean, I haven't done anything yet.
So you're going to deny you just
did that passive aggressive thing with your notebook?
You mean, take out my anger on my notebook
because I'm actually angry at you wanting to work outside?
Great, you're mocking me.
Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing.
How can you hate swans?
I don't hate Sw... would you keep your voice down?
Do you know what people in park slope would do to a swan hater?
So you do hate them?
I think they're a little mean and angry.
That was one swan.
It gave me stitches.
Why do you always take the swan's side?
Because they're animals and animals are innocent,
unlike people, who murder and rape.
You know what?
Animals murder and rape all the time.
Did you hear that cat rape last night?
It was like somebody was beating a baby really softly.
That wasn't cat rape.
That was a stray in heat.
Well, I felt raped just listening to it.
You always change the subject.
What were we talking about?
I don't remember.
Work.
Dog urine.
You slamming the notebook.
Swans.
Like I said, I don't hate them.
I'm just a little frightened of them.
Looks like somebody took a snake and shoved it
into the shoulders in a big white duck.
I think we should just work separately today.
I... i have more work to do on dismemberment so...
Fine.
I'll work on smothering and strangulation.
Fine.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, yeah.
Stella!
Morgan, Morgan, Morgan, Morgan, Morgan, Morgan,
sit the fuck down.
Put the hand back out.
On three.
1, 2, 3, go.
Come on, Morgan.
Come on.
You got this.
You're an adult woman, Morgan.
What is wrong with you?
Mary, come on.
- What? - Fuck you.
It's makes no sense.
- But he was right. - Yeah, fuck you, man.
Ah, man, you know what?
Someone check this one for..
Yeah, check him.
You got my message.
Hey.
You came.
Hello.
If you looked just like me, I'd tongue kiss you right now.
Who are you?
Simone.
Someone?
Simone, Al.
Ah, cool.
Hey, guess who I invited?
Yeah.
Woo.
Morgan's on a date.
Jean, this is...
Simone.
Jean's Morgan's ex.
So, like, don't fuck with Jean.
- I'm Kim. - Shh.
Hi.
Alex.
Oh, I'm coming motherfuckers.
All right, Kim, you've got your beer pong.
Did you know Kim holds the beer pong crown?
Wow. All time champ.
Probably has something to do with the alcoholism.
All right. Come on.
Grab shots. How about a seltzer.
Alex, Alex, Alex.
Nah, seltzer's for pussies.
Sorry, Alex can be kind of an asshole.
I'll try my best not to fuck with you, Jean.
Ah, thank you. I appreciate it.
So did you guys meet online, or...
Oh god, no, no.
We met at the co-op.
No way.
You look a true park sloper.
I just moved here a few months ago, actually.
Oh, where from?
All over.
I came back for my mother's funeral
and just decided to stick around, tie up some loose ends.
I'm sorry about your mom.
Yeah, that sucks.
Thanks.
We were estranged, so...
I had a game. - Morgan...
Hm?
Would you come talk to Alex because she
thinks that she's Batman again.
I can do one more shot.
I'm kind of...
I'll talk to her.
Thanks, Jean.
Sure.
It was nice meeting you, Simone.
Yeah, you too.
Just text me if you're not going to come home.
Um, sorry about that.
It's Ok.
You... you want to take a walk through the park?
Oh, right now?
Yeah.
I mean, we have to be careful.
There's probably rapists or gays in the woods.
I'll take the rapists if you take the gays.
Oh, come on.
You're not scared of the dark, are you?
No.
Ok, I confess.
I'm scared of the dark.
It doesn't scare you?
Sometimes.
That doesn't mean I don't like it.
Day is full of clarity.
Night is just a bunch of nothingness.
It's suffocating.
Try breathing through it.
No, I'm not into that.
Breathing?
I'm not the deep kind.
I just like to take a bunch of short ones.
Mhm.
So some save for later.
You're slowly killing yourself, you know?
It makes me nervous how relaxed you are.
I'm not always this way.
The city usually makes me crazy after a few weeks.
Oh, so you've lived here before?
No, I just meant any city.
Ok, now I have something to confess.
What?
I know you.
You do?
Yeah, your show.
I'm a fan.
Are you sure this is safe?
No.
You want a drink?
I'd love one.
I like your place.
Oh, thanks.
I'm still settling in.
What's in it?
Just memories.
I meant the drink.
I don't want to know what's in the box.
Everybody wants to know what's in the box.
I don't.
I thought love was what I felt when
those girls were alive but it was when I had my hands wrapped
around their necks.
You didn't text last night.
Fuck, I forgot.
I thought love was what I felt
when those girls were alive.
But it was when I had my hands wrapped around their necks.
Love was when I had my hands wrapped around their necks.
I had a dream that your body turned up in that lake,
you know, where the dogs like to play.
Except it wasn't your head on the body.
It was Joaquin Phoenix.
He lives in park slope now.
Maybe that's it.
I always though you kind of looked like him.
Seriously, I was about to call the police.
I thought the police gave you hives.
Well, that's why I didn't call them.
What's her name again?
Simone.
Simone what?
Ellis, I think.
Oh, you don't know her last name and you slept with her?
I didn't know your first name, and I slept with you.
Yes, you did.
You just thought it was pronounced "Zhon."
Jean, she's not yours to Google.
Come, Google with me.
I don't want to.
It's like the first step in a serious relationship.
Seriously, stop.
Ooh.
Kay.
You like her.
Don't make fun of me.
You're just being sensitive.
No, I'm genuinely curious.
Well, I don't want to share this, Ok?
I want something that's mine.
Ok.
Fine.
I won't take any interest in your life.
Thank you.
Love was when I had my hands
wrapped around their necks.
Sorry.
My hand slipped.
Let's go, lips!
Yeah, lips.
Flick those dirty beans until they're clean.
Man, this team's killing it this season.
Strike.
Eye on the ball, Jones.
Keep that energy up, ladies.
Let's go pitcher.
You got this.
You got to get a key so she'll break.
Stop fucking with your phone.
Ball.
You got this.
Play the first.
It's my crime blotter app, actually.
Then actually stop fucking with your crime blotter app
through your phone.
I haven't see you in months, dude.
A girl can clock out a minute.
It hasn't been months.
I met Simone 49 days ago.
Out. - Motherfucker.
Good job, pitcher.
Way to go.
49 days?
What is she, an infant?
Yeah, t.
Good hop there, t.
All right.
Out.
I mean, she's pretty and shit, but that bitch has secrets.
You've never even had a real conversation with her.
I don't have to. I know her type.
And she's the type that's gone in three months.
Why is everybody so unhappy for me?
I didn't treat you like this when you met Kim.
That's because when I met Kim, I didn't
pretend you didn't exist.
Ball.
Sorry.
I just miss you.
I'm sorry too.
You got it.
I'll make more of an effort, Ok?
Maybe we can all have dinner together.
Let's go, pitcher.
Yeah, I'll cook meat.
Well, if you could have some vegetarian options.
- Yeah, lips.
Yeah.
Woo!
Pound that pussy, ladies.
Pound it.
I was really annoyed with what she was just talking about.
Wow, you're beautiful.
Oh, thanks.
Do you know what else is beautiful?
Um...
Compost.
Would you smile if I were to tell
you that the earth machine can compost pretty much anything?
Oh, there's a smile.
All right, but we have to get serious, Ok?
- Ok. - The future is dirt.
And you have to...
Wait.
Allison?
Allison, it's me.
Candice.
So you hit your head?
I was on the rooftop farm.
I slipped.
I"m going to have you put those away.
Dispatcher: EMTs want
to know if we need a stretcher.
You're late.
You want a stretcher?
You're supposed to be five minutes early.
Oh, I think your clock's fast.
My phone...
Or maybe your clock's just wound a little too tight.
Copy.
- Morgan, phones. - What?
I was supposed to show Simone...
I'll show her.
Our victim is on the move, heading out to you now.
Receiving victim.
Copy.
Attention all members,
there's been another accident in the urban farm.
Please be advised that the area is
off-limits until further notice.
I repeat, the urban farm will be closed until further notice.
This is where we keep all the backup files.
Everyone who's been a member since 1973 is in here.
Seems like a waste of paper.
Yeah, well, systems go down, Simone.
And when our system goes down and all
the information on the computer is lost,
guess what's going to save us?
Grace's files.
Go to the orange tab and take out a file.
Hold it. Hold it, please.
And you cross-reference it on the iPad.
If she's still a member, she goes back into the drawer.
But if she's no longer a member, she's inactive.
She goes into the shredder.
Got it?
Focus.
I need two volunteers for the super-clean shift.
I've already fulfilled my super-clean requirement.
Come on.
If I don't get two volunteers in the next hour,
I got to do it myself.
And I already opened and close that day.
Sorry, Darren, I can't deep clean at 4:00 in the morning.
It's just that I trust you, Morgan because you
don't break the rules.
For example, you wouldn't have stolen anybody's
personal information, would you?
I was going to put it back.
It's all good.
I'll take care of that for you.
You just got to fill this out.
This is blackmail.
It's cool.
You can go back to key foods if you want to.
I'm fine with that.
No, no, no, fine.
Give me the form.
Her too.
Simone?
Thank you, Morgan.
You did the right thing.
I'm such a coward.
What?
Why?
I signed us up for a super-clean shift.
Darren pressured me.
And you volunteered me too?
Well, I had to.
You can't let that place own you.
Well, what's the alternative?
Not to shop there.
No, that's not an alternative.
Simone.
I need to talk to you, Simone Ellis.
Grace, we're done.
The co-op's closed.
No, that's fine.
Go ahead.
Call you later.
But I got us tickets to "juice my cold-pressed body."
Yeah, I'll meet you there.
Sorry.
What happened?
Everything Ok? - Yeah, why?
You seemed a little out of it tonight.
Oh.
What was burning?
I think you should move in with me.
Oh.
Coming?
You don't think it's too soon?
I don't think in those terms.
What terms?
Just terms.
It's just everything's so good now.
I don't want to force anything.
Simone?
You know me, don't you?
I think so.
You do.
And I know you.
So don't complicate it with all the things you don't know.
Ok, let's do it.
Really?
Yeah.
See you later.
I'm really happy.
Me too.
Morgan, Morgan.
Jean?
Did you follow us?
Are you Ok?
I'm fine.
Sorry, I haven't answered your calls or texts.
I just...
No, I mean about grace.
What about grace?
Another accident?
Jesus, that fucking farm.
You saw her that day, right?
That was your shift.
Your memory is disturbing.
Well, we share calendars.
Oh, shit.
We should fix that.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
And you have to promise me not to get mad.
I cannot promise you that.
Why?
Because you always make me mad.
Ok, fine.
Promise that you won't storm out of the room.
Jean, just ask me the question.
Ok.
All right.
Did Simone and grace get along?
No one got along with grace.
I mean, did they argue?
What are you...
When your shift ended, did you and Simone leave together?
Yes.
But she...
What?
She went back in to talk to grace.
But she met me later that night at the art gallery.
Simone Ellis isn't Simone Ellis.
She changed her name when she was 18.
You made a binder.
Yeah, when I googled her real name, Allison Walker.
Wait, Allison?
Yeah, why?
Morgan, Walker.
Here, listen.
March 13, 2015.
This is tape 2, Josephine "the clipper" Walker interview.
Josephine, we started talking about regret.
Do you regret anything?
Josephine: I regret what
this has done to the people who've survived it.
The families of the victims?
Their families, my family.
You mean your daughter, ally?
She used to be ally.
I don't know what happened to her.
When was the last time you saw her?
She was 15 when I was arrested.
She never came to visit?
Why?
Why would she?
I just hope she's out there somewhere listening
and that she knows her mother loves her and always will,
no matter what.
Allison Walker's a common name.
Have you noticed anything strange about her
besides her personality?
No, not really.
I mean, she's private.
She's not like you.
I'm private.
No, you're not.
You like to talk and share and pick apart
things until they don't exist.
Simone doesn't need to do that.
I don't need to.
Yes, you do.
That's why we didn't work out.
We shared too much.
There's a lot of things about me you don't know.
Oh, really?
Like what?
Like my dad once said that he wished I'd never...
Been born.
I know that.
She's not a murderer.
I'm not saying she is.
I'm just saying I think you should stay here
until we're sure she isn't.
I'm moving in with her.
Morgan, Jesus. - What?
It's different this time.
Yeah, like maybe you're falling for the daughter
of a serial killer, at best.
Oh, well, I'd rather be with somebody
that scares me to death than somebody
that bores me to death.
Oh, Ok.
Fine.
Go ahead.
Move in with her and get married and have
a family that she can stab in the middle of the night.
That's a really fucked up way of saying you miss me, Jean.
It's not just that I miss you.
I am worried that your life is in danger.
I'm not in danger, Ok?
I'm just in love.
Oh, my god.
You're such a girl.
You're such a man.
That's hurtful.
Dude, what's wrong with you tonight.
You're cagey and shit.
These all Alex's?
Yeah.
I was awful at sports.
What were you good at?
School.
Mm.
I was never good at school.
What were you good at?
Murder.
What?
Shh.
Jean thinks that Simone could be the daughter of a murdered.
Dude.
I know.
But don't you think Jean's just being controlling.
I told you that bitch had secrets.
She doesn't.
She's just mysterious.
You know, mystery is a high-dollar secret, dude.
Mystery keeps relationships alive.
Hm.
How would you know what keeps relationships alive?
Do you want to see Alex as a baby?
Uh...
She's adorable.
11 pounds.
The doctor said she split her mother wide open.
Wow.
Alex thinks that's why her mother
doesn't like her anymore.
This is her first softball team.
That's Brenda Bayhart.
Has she told you about Brenda Bayhart?
Wine? - Oh I don't...
I don't drink.
Brenda Bayhart called Alex a cunt licker.
And so Alex knocked her two front teeth out.
Mm.
And the teeth had just come in, so, you know,
permanent damage.
Funny, I'd peg Alex as a pushover.
Well, she is.
But she's knocked a lot of teeth out too.
She's from Florida.
Mm.
Lot of serial killers there.
Mm.
You're into all that too, huh?
Jean isn't being controlling.
She's just looking out for you.
And you don't know anything about that girl.
I know enough.
Why do I have to know everything?
Can you name one thing you think is wrong with her?
You mean besides the mom issue?
Yeah, like an imperfection.
Dude, anything.
I'm thinking.
I'll go first.
Kim has dandruff. - Gross.
I do not need to know that.
Come on.
We're all disgusting people.
Kim's just the least disgusting person I know.
Simone is not disgusting at all, Ok?
What about when she takes a dump?
Shh. Let's just stop it.
Jesus.
Oh, this is Alex taking her first...
Why did you quit drinking?
Um, it just got out of hand.
I'd like to see that.
No, you wouldn't.
Why?
Did you hurt someone or something?
No.
No, I didn't.
You did.
I didn't hurt anyone.
I killed them.
What?
I'm teasing you.
I quit drinking because I got tired of waking up in my vomit.
I think you and Jean are being paranoid.
But if that pretty bitch does anything to hurt you,
I'm more than happy to unleash my inner Wuornos, Ok?
Ok.
But can you stop calling her a bitch?
Who?
Simone, I did stand up for you.
I'm tired.
Simone.
Simone?
You don't want to do that in the bathroom?
This is where I do it.
But your clippings are all over the bed.
Oh.
You don't have to do that now.
No, you're right.
So disgusting.
Hey, you Ok?
What are you doing?
That smarts.
Simone, stop.
Stop it.
What am I doing wrong?
Morgan, Jesus.
Didn't you get my texts?
Yeah, I mean, I was...
The night that grace was murdered,
Simone set off the fire alarm because she was burning this.
It's what left of a passport photo,
like from an old co-op file before we used web cams.
So wait.
Now, you think Simone killed grace.
I think that grace found out that Simone was Allison.
And then Simone got rid of her.
And I think if she killed one person, who's to say
she hasn't killed six more.
You think Simone is "the clipper?"
I think it's possible.
But Josephine confessed.
They never found a murder weapon.
Maybe Josephine's just protecting her daughter.
Moms do that.
I mean, mine didn't, but...
Why are you suddenly so convinced about all this?
Why are you suddenly not?
I thought she was the love of your life.
She is.
I mean, I don't know.
I've been noticing things about her lately.
Tonight I saw a different side of her
and I've been feeling sick ever since.
Was it a vulnerable side?
What do you mean?
You get sick to your stomach when people are needy.
I also get sick to my stomach when I fear for my life.
Morgan, Simone didn't kill grace.
Jean.
I called Matt.
Crime blogger Matt?
There was a suicide note posted
to the childcare bulletin board.
Simone could have written that.
Grace had a history of depression.
It wasn't the first time she tried.
So you don't think she's a murderer.
I don't know.
I mean, probably not.
Why would you put me through this?
It wasn't on purpose.
It was just...
I was afraid.
Afraid of what?
Of losing...
Shit.
So, so... I'm so sorry.
I just... I had to flush.
What were you doing?
What is he doing in my bathroom?
Oh, hi. I'm Jackson.
Morgan.
Oh.
Oh, that's...
Mhm.
Yeah.
Ok.
Hey, do you... do you guys want tea?
I can make us tea.
I'll make us tea.
It's my tea kettle
no shit?
Well, you know, it's a really nice tea kettle.
No, I just...
I mean it's mine.
Yeah, Jackson, that'd be great.
Tea would be... be nice.
Ok.
You know what?
This was a bad idea. - Morgan.
I shouldn't have even come here.
- No, don't. - Nice to meet you, Jackson.
Don't.
So no tea?
Oh.
Hi.
Hey.
Where did you go?
Just for a walk.
You didn't go to Jean's?
No.
Why?
Shit.
Let's go, ladies.
Round of shots.
I'm getting married.
Woo!
Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex.
Woo!
Oh, wow.
Oh, it's so much softer than mine.
The good thing about the flash Gordon series
is that if you wear eyeglasses, they don't get
foggy during heavy breathing.
Oh, Alex doesn't wear eye glasses,
but that's really good to know.
Oh, wow.
Thank you guys so much.
This is really sweet.
Oh, Simone has a gift.
Ooh.
Oh.
The email specifically said nothing realistic.
I wasn't on the email.
If you had to bring something penetrative,
it was supposed to be a neon color.
I mean, realism implies that lesbian sex
isn't real sex unless there's a penis involved.
Sparkling cider on the patio?
Yay.
Let's bring the music.
They're all in aa, so they have
to make rules for everything.
Drink?
Great.
Ok.
There you go.
Wait, wait.
Put your head up.
Ok.
Here, take these.
No.
You going to be Ok?
Everything's about to change.
What do you mean?
Marriage and shit.
No, you guys have something figured out.
You'll be fine.
I envy you.
Me?
Why?
You have choices.
Well, I wish I didn't have them.
Trash can.
- Trash can. - Right here.
Here, here.
Phew.
False alarm.
You want me to stay?
Gross.
So how's it going with Morgan?
Good.
Really good.
Yeah?
How's it going with Jackson?
She tells you about Jackson?
Just that he seemed nice.
Mm.
Morgan hates nice.
She does?
Mhm.
And hair in the drain and eggplant and communicating.
I don't think she hates communicating.
Well, she calls it sharing.
Well, maybe she just respects privacy.
I trust her. It's not that.
What is it then?
I don't know if I can trust myself.
Why not?
I've never been able to make a relationship work.
For a while I keep trying, one after the other, you know?
Oh, yeah.
And I just swore to myself that I wouldn't do it again,
not until I was really ready.
Ready for what?
You know, to expose myself.
I shouldn't be talking to you about all this.
I'm glad you are.
Really?
Yeah, sure.
I understand why Morgan's having such
a hard time letting you go.
Oh.
Holy shit.
See you.
Jean.
Over here.
Jean.
Morgan.
What is... what?
Car, get in the car.
What is going on?
Get down.
Shh, shh.
Why are you wearing that?
Oh, it's just from the bachelor... it does it matter.
Look, Simone is "the clipper."
Morgan, come on.
No, look.
What is this?
Open one.
Are those fingernails?
Jody, Louise, Kate, Maggie, Theresa.
Colleen.
What is that for?
For just in case.
You know I'm very against weapons.
It's not a weapon.
It's gear.
It's just the cats, I think.
Maybe keep the weapon.
Who are you calling? - The police.
No.
No way.
Jean, that was four years ago.
There's no expiration date on PTSD, Morgan.
You were really high when you got arrested.
Are you saying I'm a liar?
I'm not...
I'm saying that maybe it wasn't solitary confinement.
Maybe it was a holding cell in a jail for an hour.
I feel hives.
Jean, come on.
We don't have any real proof.
Fingernails aren't illegal.
Fingernails from dead people.
Is my neck red?
Look at my neck.
Ok, the phone's going down.
The phone is going down.
The phone is down.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Simone and I are technically still... you know?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I mean, Jackson and I are still...
Oh, yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Ok.
Hello?
Who's there?
Simone?
It's Kim.
Is Alex there?
No, I dropped her off at your place last night.
Well, she wasn't home when I got there.
And she never came back.
Um, Kim, we have to tell you something.
Ok.
Try to stay calm.
God, what?
Wait, don't tell me.
Ok, tell me.
We think...
She's having another affair, isn't she?
Huh?
I knew it.
She was being so nice to me.
No, that's... that's not...
Wait.
Alex had an affair?
Of course.
Who doesn't have affairs?
But she's in love with you.
Don't be dumb, Morgan.
That's not all there is.
Do you think she's having an affair now?
I don't know.
Because there's a...
There's a chance it could be something else.
Simone could have something to do with it.
Simone, why?
Because I broke into her wooden trunk last night
and I stole some fingernails and because Alex called her a bitch
the other night.
But it could just, you know, be a kidnapping.
Or murder.
You're both insane.
Mhm.
I expect this from Morgan, but not from you.
Hey, why do you expect it from me?
Well, you haven't exactly cared about very much
other than yourself lately.
What do you mean?
I took Alex home last night.
I took her shoes off in a really sweet way.
I can't believe that my fiance has disappeared.
And all you guys care about are your fucking radio show
theories.
Podcast.
Kim, wait.
Shit.
We have to find Alex.
There she is.
She's calling.
You should get a case for that.
Oh, man.
Leopoldi's hardware.
Your one-stop shop.
For anybody looking to get that dead body off their hands.
Oh, my god.
What if we're too late?
What if Alex is already dead?
Ok, Morgan, you know what?
Calm down.
We're going to find Alex.
I should have stayed with her.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Ok, Ok, all right.
Ok, you know what?
- Did she see us? - Switch with me.
I'm going to drive. - No, I'm fine.
I'm fine. - You're not fine.
Hurry. - Come on.
Come on. Let's do it.
Ow, oh.
God.
Ok.
Do you think she saw us?
I don't know.
Shit.
All right?
Yeah.
You buckled in?
Just get right in here.
You got it. You got it.
You're too close.
Well, I can't let another car get...
But she's going to see us.
Oh, god.
Can't they save the fucking planet in the bike path?
You have to be aggressive with them.
Aggressive, like run them over?
No, you just have to scare them a little.
Don't take the wheel like that.
I was just trying to...
Well, that has always been a problem with us.
You can't let me take control.
I always let you take control.
Not always, nope.
Not with driving and not with...
I didn't know you wanted to take control with that.
Of course I did.
But you just laid there.
Well, I was nervous
me too. - Really?
Because you always seem so...
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!
Holy hell. I'm sorry.
- Just go. - I'm sorry.
Just go. Just go.
What are you doing?
Jesus.
She's turning.
I know.
I'm not blind, Morgan.
Wait.
That's Alex.
Wait, wait, wait.
Are we going follow Simone?
Morgan, that's Alex, your best friend.
She's not dead.
- Right. - I know.
Of course.
No, you're right.
I know.
Alex.
What is this?
A fug party?
Where did you go after I left?
Kim is really upset.
Have you talked to her?
I'm going to see her in two minutes.
Did she make you guys come look for me?
Not exactly.
We thought Simone had gotten to you.
Oh, Jesus.
The murder thing?
You guys are fucking perfect for each other.
Are you back together yet?
No.
Well, you don't have to say it like I dislocated your finger.
Well, you don't want to get back together, do you?
God, no.
You know what?
It really wouldn't even be cheating
if you guys get sexy again.
Maybe not to you.
Yeah, what the fuck, Alex?
What?
Yeah, Kim told us you cheat on her.
Pfft.
I wasn't cheating on her.
I just... I disappear sometimes.
Why?
To be alone.
Really?
You can't tell Kim.
She wouldn't understand.
It's better for her to think you're cheating on her?
Yeah, or she'll just think I
didn't want to be around her, which
is kind of true sometimes.
Why don't you just talk to her.
- Morgan? - What?
You would rather think that your girlfriend is a murderer
than have an actual conversation.
You think she's a murderer too.
Well, because you talked me into it.
You talked me into it first.
I was...
See, Jean, you always do this.
You talk me into something.
And then once I'm into it, you talk me out of it.
You know what?
I'm over it.
Thanks for the ride.
You're over it?
Yeah, Jean, I'm over it.
You know what?
I'm over it.
Oh, you're over it now that I'm over it.
How about neither of us can be over it because we
were never not over it.
You know what else I am?
Annoying.
Relieved.
I'm relieved. Ok, fine, Jean.
I'm sure I won't show up dead any time soon.
You're a dick.
Does nobody care that my life could be in danger?
Call me when your head's out of your ass, dude.
Alex: Hey, it's Alex.
Leave a message.
Hey, you've reached
Jean and "women who kill, inc."
Leave a message.
You have one new voice message.
Simone: Hey, it's me.
I saw what you did.
You should have talked to me first.
Excuse me.
Hi, hello.
Um, behind you.
Hi. Sorry.
Excuse me.
Is this the...
Shit.
You dropped it a few blocks ago, I mean,
not that I have been following you.
- Thanks for giving it to me. - Oh, no.
I am the one who should be thanking
you for what you've given me.
Your show, it got me through a really hard time.
I... I recently lost a friend, like a really dear friend.
I'm sorry.
She was my mentor.
And we were really connected.
She is the one who taught me how to be honest with myself.
And Donna would always say, Celia...
I'm Celia.
Hi.
You're Morgan.
She would say, Celia, leave me alone.
You're too close.
Well, she sounds really nice.
Yeah, oh, she meant physically, not emotionally.
I mean, she might have also meant emotionally.
We will never know that.
But we always used to listen to your show together.
I mean, we weren't together.
But it felt like we were.
And she loved that azalea lady, the professor.
Lila.
Yeah, you were close.
You think so?
Oh, there was a connection.
Do you know what time it is?
Oh, that's what she used to say.
It is 2:00 pm.
I have to go.
That's what she would always say next.
I have to go. I'm sorry.
It's just... No, she just died in...
I'm sorry about your friend. A really horrible way.
It was a recycling truck.
And we were all yelling behind the guy.
We're like, she's in your wheels, man.
It was so nice to meet you.
Thank you.
Uh, I'm actually going this way, anyway, so I'm not weird.
What's this episode about?
Oh, it's not for an episode.
I just came to talk.
You're not going to record it?
Oh, I can if you want me to.
Only if you want to.
I'll do that.
Now, tell me about your lady stuff.
Ok, well, you met Jean, my ex.
Unfortunately.
She and I work so well together because we
don't work so well together.
She makes me feel like the person I am,
and I don't like that person very much, so...
And then there's Simone.
Oh, la-la, Simone.
Simone is NOM mysterious.
Yeah.
Simone makes me feel alive and present.
She makes me feel like a person I want to be, you know?
What, dear?
I think she might be a murderer.
Maybe this is a bad idea.
Aren't you having a good time?
It's not that.
It's just...
You have no idea how lonely it gets,
being with women like these.
All the simplicity really hurts my feelings.
But you are not simple, Morgan, are you?
I'm not.
You're more like me.
Mind if I tell you something private?
I don't mind.
Before I told you love was the act of killing.
That's not true.
It's the moment right before when they stop struggling.
They succumb.
The fear in their eyes, it shifts.
And they fill up with something I can
only describe as pure grace.
It was the sweetest thing I've ever known.
Maybe it was just a lack of oxygen.
Shh, shh.
Quit your fighting.
The fact is that you want to feel it too.
So here's what you do.
Jean.
Holy shit.
Sorry.
It's Ok.
I was just swiffering.
This late?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It comforts me.
When I was little, my mom used to always
wake up in the middle...
I need to talk to Jean.
Oh, Ok.
Yeah, I don't... I thought she was with you.
Why?
Well, she left a while ago.
She... she got worried when she couldn't
reach you on your phone.
But then she told me that she saw on your calendar
that you had a super-clean shift with Simone so she went there.
To the co-op?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I made us a nice dinner and everything, you know?
And I was hoping to catch some "democracy now,"
but then I realized that the
Simone?
Jean?
Jean.
Oh my god.
Morgan.
She fell.
She hit her head.
We should call an ambulance.
Yeah, I already did.
Put that down.
You look ridiculous.
Stop.
Stop. Leave her alone.
Don't you want to help her?
Give me that?
Get back.
What if I told you I did kill those people?
Would that make you feel better to have a way out?
She's gone now.
I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but you did.
I still love you, Morgan.
And I know that you're scared.
No, I'm not.
We can be happy.
Please, stop.
Let's get fat and boring and argue about nothing.
Let's finish each other's sentences,
wear each other's clothes.
Let's be vulnerable together.
Morgan?
Jean?
Stay away.
What did you do?
Morgan?
I hurt some people.
It was self-defense.
Come on.
Did you even open the case file?
I, mean I flipped through.
At the very least, I know she was threatened.
No, she claims she was threatened.
But she had injuries.
Yeah, all proven to be self-inflicted.
Look, are there parts of her story
that I doubt?
Sure. But you could say the same thing
for the eyewitness accounts.
Ok, now, I agree with you there.
Those were all pretty unclear.
But if you look at the evidence, which for some reason
you're refusing to do...
I am not refusing.
I've just been a little...
Distracted, I know.
I'm not claiming
what she did was right.
I'm just saying, I believe her when she
says she had no other choice.
Yeah, and what I'm saying
is that the facts back up the victim.
There was no reason for self-defense.
I think we should
poll the listeners on this one.
Ah, good idea.
Join us next time to hear the results.
I'm Morgan.
And I'm Jean.
And we are...
"women who kill."