1
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:50,205
Light as a feather
Stiff as a board
2
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:53,217
I'm-a elevate myself
on my own accord
3
00:00:53,319 --> 00:00:56,755
Ain't nobody's business
Who's life is this?
4
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:59,552
You question my existence
I'm-a read you the list
5
00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:02,719
I'll keep you on your toes
That's just how it goes
6
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,423
You can deal with the lows
Just keep dodging the blows
7
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:09,224
So I'm-a do me Who else do I be?
8
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:12,429
'Cause I create my own destiny
9
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:16,066
I'm-a take back the world
Yo, you got this, girl
10
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,111
I'm steppin' up my game
I'll keep repeating the same
11
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:21,772
Be on my hustle every
minute of the day
12
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,746
It was mine for the taking anyways
13
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,977
I'm-a take back the world
14
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:33,610
How come you always look
so great in the morning?
15
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,314
Do I?
16
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,052
Got to go, babe.
17
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,099
I made tempeh sausage.
18
00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:00,336
Hey, so, I was thinking
that maybe you'd want to be my date
19
00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,539
to my sister's wedding.
20
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,689
There's a vegetarian alternative.
I already checked.
21
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,148
Are your parents going to be there?
22
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:12,385
At my sister's wedding? I think so.
23
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,320
I don't know.
It just feels a little serious.
24
00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,596
I'm sorry, it just...
25
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,692
It felt kind of serious last night
when you were doing me from behind,
26
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,395
but I couldn't see your face, so...
27
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,414
You know, if you ever want
to just hook up, you can call me.
28
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:40,849
Thank you, Rick.
That's very generous of you.
29
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,047
Yeah.
30
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:47,320
- See you around.
- Keep it green.
31
00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:51,088
I roll with the punches
Take 'em as they come
32
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,166
There's some disappointment
But what's the point
33
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,434
Colin, hurry up.
34
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,801
Take a break for a sec
Prepare for what's coming next
35
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,032
I'm-a take back the world
36
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:06,307
Ally, I could have told you
37
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,778
it wasn't going to work out with Rick
two months ago.
38
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:10,109
Why?
39
00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,377
You love meat, you hate cyclists.
40
00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:14,715
- I do love meat.
- And to be honest,
41
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:18,154
I was always a little worried about the way
he kept wanting to do it doggy style.
42
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,583
Some people like that, you know.
43
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,161
No, nobody likes it.
44
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,253
Even the dogs are just waiting
for it to be over.
45
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:27,891
How many relationships do I have to have
before I meet the right guy?
46
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,332
Evidently a lot.
47
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:32,427
Hi. Hi, I'm the bride. I'm Daisy.
If you could just...
48
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:37,401
I'm-a take back the world
Yo, you got this, girl
49
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:40,411
I'm steppin' up my game
I'll keep repeating the same
50
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,073
Be on my hustle every
minute of the day
51
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:45,047
Never let it get away
52
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:48,416
I'm staying motivated
Keep it uncomplicated
53
00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:52,651
Nothing in between me and my dream
54
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:55,654
Be on my hustle every
minute of the day
55
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,354
It was mine for the taking anyways
56
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,328
I'm-a take back the world
57
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:00,729
Hi.
58
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:05,095
- Hi, guys. Hi.
- Hi.
59
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,872
Right now. Thinking or smelling?
60
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,670
No doubt smelling.
61
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,439
He's obviously thinking.
62
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,927
Whatever she's saying
is thought-provoking.
63
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,974
That would be true if she's talking
about what his finger smells like.
64
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,025
- Ally.
- Hi.
65
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:34,259
Jet Li is not related to Bruce Lee.
66
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:37,231
Lee is a very common Chinese last name.
67
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,498
They both know kung fu, but that's the...
68
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,500
Keep your coat on.
69
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,538
Okay, hold... I got to call you back.
70
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:53,349
Sweetheart, we have to let you go.
71
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:57,014
I'm sorry,
but we had to make some painful cuts.
72
00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:03,424
Who else is getting fired?
73
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,087
Well, for now,
74
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:07,590
just you.
75
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,182
Oy!
76
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:36,326
Hi, Mom, can I call you
right back? I'm in a meeting. Okay.
77
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,167
Not necessary.
78
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,236
No.
79
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,420
10.5? Holy shit!
80
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,257
I'm sorry.
81
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,727
It just says here,
the average number of lovers
82
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,697
women have in their lifetime is 10.5.
83
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,631
Yeah, that seems very high.
84
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,593
High? No, that's low!
85
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,931
- 10.5 is low!
- Whatever you say.
86
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,592
Valerio!
87
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,816
Finally!
88
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,681
Hi, Mom.
89
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,648
Oh, sorry.
90
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:45,519
Sorry, the train was late. You look great.
91
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:49,624
I'm growing out my bangs.
92
00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:53,222
Where is Rick?
93
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,732
Rick's on a business
trip, for his business.
94
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,468
Oh, nuts! I was looking forward
to finally meeting him.
95
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,801
At least this one
doesn't make balloon animals.
96
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,341
Why aren't you wearing
the dress I bought you?
97
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,142
This is the dress you bought me.
98
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,839
What? It looked very different
on the mannequin.
99
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,679
- Is Daisy upstairs?
- Yes, she is. She is a wreck!
100
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:14,275
Okay. I'm gonna go check on her.
101
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,979
Please do.
102
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:20,320
- Your cousin Beau is here.
- Step-cousin.
103
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:23,589
He's a step-cousin.
We're not even really related.
104
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,363
Beau.
105
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,159
Hi.
106
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,793
Thank God you're here.
107
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,737
Mom has been such a bitch
ever since Eddie's parents got here.
108
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:38,410
She just cannot believe
that her marriage ended before theirs did.
109
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:39,910
Well, Dad should be here soon,
110
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:42,012
so she'll have someone else
to focus her hatred on.
111
00:09:42,037 --> 00:09:45,384
Dad's not coming.
She wouldn't let me invite him here.
112
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:47,008
Are you inviting him to the wedding?
113
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,787
I don't know.
114
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,887
Hey, what was Creepy Puppet Guy's
actual name?
115
00:09:56,996 --> 00:10:00,088
You mean the guy who lived next door
who was obsessed with me? Gerry Perry.
116
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,064
Gerry Perry! Thank you.
117
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:06,895
What are you writing?
118
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,065
Nothing, just some notes for my toast.
119
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,404
Is it gonna rhyme?
120
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,740
That depends. What rhymes with "orgy"?
121
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,173
You just keep it
under three minutes. Ready?
122
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,375
- You look amazing.
- Thank you.
123
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:20,509
You go ahead.
I'll be down in a couple of minutes.
124
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,678
Okay.
125
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,886
Eight, nine, 10, 11,
126
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:28,051
12, 13, 14, 15,
127
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:32,324
16, 17, 18, 19.
128
00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,524
Holy shit. 19?
129
00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:48,740
May I have your attention, please?
130
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,848
Can I have your attention, please?
I want to thank you all,
131
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:57,855
each and every one...
132
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:58,946
Cute.
133
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:04,793
Beau.
134
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:10,225
Careful. He can be a little rough
on the nipples.
135
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:15,103
To celebrate my dream come true,
the engagement of Daisy and Eddie.
136
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:20,378
As most of you know, we are a family
that likes to toast one another.
137
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:25,143
So, to start the ball rolling,
Daisy's big sister... Ally?
138
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:27,249
Ally.
139
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,688
Hello.
140
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:34,418
Hello.
141
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:48,400
When Daisy first told me
that she was dating Eddie,
142
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:49,531
I couldn't believe it.
143
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,772
I said, "Eddie Vogel?"
144
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,178
"The schmuck you went out with
in high school?"
145
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,478
"He was the biggest douche-bag
of them all."
146
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,581
Even worse than Baby Hands.
You guys remember him?
147
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,355
Baby Hands.
148
00:12:08,427 --> 00:12:10,156
You know how Eddie broke up with her?
149
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:13,893
He started dating her best friend,
who's here tonight, by the way.
150
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,933
Sheila, stand up.
151
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,065
But...
152
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:24,699
But
153
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:29,941
when Eddie saw Daisy
at their high school reunion,
154
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,517
he knew what a big mistake he had made.
155
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:33,846
No offense, Sheila.
156
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,554
And now, Eddie's amazing.
157
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:38,623
You wouldn't even know
he's the same guy.
158
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:41,750
Except he looks exactly the same.
159
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:48,100
God! I wish I went
to my high school reunion,
160
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,531
but I was growing out my bangs.
161
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:54,105
I'm always growing out my bangs.
Don't get bangs.
162
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:01,002
Well, to Daisy and Eddie!
163
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,778
It's okay. It's okay.
164
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,822
Okay, to Daisy and Eddie
and the end of your life.
165
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:17,293
To Daisy and Eddie.
166
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,364
- To Daisy and Eddie.
- To me.
167
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,065
Okay, it's party game time!
168
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,638
- A game? Really?
- Absolutely!
169
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:30,971
But which one?
God, what to play? What to play?
170
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,476
Let's write down
the number of people we slept with.
171
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,103
- Great idea, Katie.
- What?
172
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:38,615
Okay, we just need paper
and more drinks. Be right back.
173
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,954
Of all the gin joints in all the towns.
174
00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:50,084
Of all the clichés in all the world.
175
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:54,730
I didn't know you were
gonna take getting fired so hard.
176
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:59,036
I don't have to laugh at your jokes anymore
because you're not my boss.
177
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:02,039
Let me buy you these drinks.
I feel really bad about today.
178
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,035
Really?
179
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:06,338
Thanks. I can't afford them anyway.
180
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:07,912
Can I be honest with you?
181
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,243
You never seemed
to like marketing anyhow.
182
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,373
I liked it.
183
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:13,041
Yeah, but you didn't love it.
184
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,949
I guess I did you a favor.
185
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:19,581
Now you can go get a job that you love
with a boss who you like.
186
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:21,717
I like you.
187
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:24,359
Really? How much?
188
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:28,999
She bought the whole bottle, didn't she?
189
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:33,803
Okay, so just write down
the number of guys you've slept with
190
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,336
and put it in this glass,
191
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:38,467
and then we'll pick out the number
and guess who it belongs to.
192
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:39,771
Daisy, you go first.
193
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:40,971
Yeah.
194
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,640
Four.
195
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,011
- That's me.
- Yay!
196
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:47,228
No, no, no, that's not how
you're supposed to play the game.
197
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:48,277
We're supposed to guess.
198
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,185
Who wasn't gonna guess Katie?
She married Matt when she was, like, 12.
199
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,758
- I'm surprised you've had that many.
- Well...
200
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:55,326
Katie, your turn, let's go.
201
00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:59,858
Eight. Eight... Daisy.
202
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,797
Yes, and I am twice the woman you are.
203
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,862
Six.
204
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,304
- Jamie?
- Yep, that's me.
205
00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:09,173
Wait a second, you're a seven.
206
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:12,370
- I never had sex with Lars.
- Yes, you did.
207
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:15,311
No. He only stuck it in just a little,
so it doesn't count.
208
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,678
- How much was it in?
- This much.
209
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,397
What is that? That tells me nothing.
I've no idea how big Lars' penis is.
210
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,546
I do. Counts.
211
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,954
Okay. How much needs to go in
to be considered sex?
212
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:27,719
Anything more than the tip.
213
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:30,192
Fine, I'm a seven. I mean, eight.
214
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,025
- Shit! Nine!
- Atta girl.
215
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,530
Okay, Jamie, you go.
216
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,028
Thirteen.
217
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:40,332
Thirteen? Who here is a 13?
218
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,406
Me.
219
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,202
- Whore!
- Trashy girl. Slut.
220
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,674
- Sheila!
- Slut!
221
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:47,067
Slutty whore!
222
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:48,305
What is the big deal?
223
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,644
That is 13 different penises in one vagina.
224
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,719
It's not like they were all in there
at the same time.
225
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,812
You know what? I'm done with this.
Ally, you go.
226
00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:00,181
Okay.
227
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,456
Go, go, go, go.
228
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,862
Look at that, nine.
229
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,304
I drew myself. Game over.
230
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,534
Wait. A one. Is this yours?
231
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,509
My God.
232
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:22,045
You're at 91.
233
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,172
No! I'm at nine!
234
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,217
You're at 19.
235
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,913
Nineteen!
236
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,613
Hello, friend.
237
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,859
Fine, I admit it. I'm at 19,
238
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,827
almost twice the national average.
It's bad!
239
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,388
And look at this, there's even a whole
article in Marie Claire about it.
240
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,560
I thought that playing this game would
make me feel better about my number,
241
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,969
but now I think the homeless lady
on the train was right. It's high!
242
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:50,132
Apparently in America, 96% of women
243
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:54,110
who have been with 20 or more lovers
can't find a husband.
244
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:55,805
It actually says 20?
245
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:57,394
Who cares? Who did that study anyway?
246
00:16:57,419 --> 00:16:59,580
The scientists over there
at Marie Claire magazine?
247
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:02,619
Hey, that magazine
taught me how to orgasm.
248
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:05,622
Actually, that study
was conducted by Dr. Helen Fig,
249
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,192
a postdoctoral fellow
at Harvard University.
250
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:09,282
Shit!
251
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,686
I see it in my practice all the time.
252
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:14,477
When you're too sexually available,
it messes with your self-esteem.
253
00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:18,531
Next thing you know,
you're 45 with no self-respect, no husband,
254
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,764
and no muscle tone in your pelvic floor.
255
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:25,037
Okay. Well, that is not gonna happen to me.
256
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,771
Harvard says that 20 is the limit.
257
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,246
I'm at 19,
so that gives me one more chance.
258
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:33,143
Okay.
259
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:34,719
I'm gonna make a proclamation.
260
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,279
Shut up! I'm proclamating.
261
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:44,853
Okay. I am not gonna sleep with
one more guy until I am sure he's the one.
262
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:46,784
I may not have control over much,
263
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:49,665
but I do have control over my pelvic floor.
264
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,596
The next guy who vacations
at casa esperanza
265
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,673
is going to be my husband.
266
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:57,036
- All right.
- Yeah.
267
00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:00,543
To taking control of my own destiny.
268
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,773
To taking control!
269
00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:11,485
To better decision-making
and goal-following-through.
270
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,753
To better decision-making and goals!
271
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,889
To 20!
272
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:18,323
To 20!
273
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,171
Oh, shit.
274
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,251
Oh, no. Oh, my God.
275
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:19,915
Hi.
276
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:22,619
- I slept with my ex-boss.
- Carol?
277
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,923
No! The job I just got fired from.
278
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,498
- You got fired?
- This is your fault.
279
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:30,279
When I tried to get you to leave the
bar last night, you spit on me.
280
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:31,969
But congratulations.
281
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,038
You said 20 is your husband.
Now you're at 20.
282
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,933
- Shut up.
- I have to admit
283
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,361
that I just did not think
it was gonna happen this quickly,
284
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,399
but I'm so excited.
285
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,375
Hey, Eddie, Ally's gonna get married.
286
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,072
- Great.
- He's thrilled.
287
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,879
I know you're just being a bitch,
but maybe he is my husband.
288
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:50,250
Maybe it's fate. Now we've got
a great story to tell our grandkids.
289
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:56,284
I don't know
why I never considered him before.
290
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,665
He's not my husband.
291
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,270
- Morning.
- Morning.
292
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,470
- Hey, you're out of toilet paper.
- Okay.
293
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,877
Did you make coffee?
294
00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:18,346
No. There's a Starbucks
on your way to the T.
295
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,975
That's okay.
Did you get the newspaper?
296
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,348
No, no, I don't get that.
297
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:26,518
- Morning, 6-C.
- That's not mine.
298
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:30,023
Okay. I locked myself out of my apartment.
299
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:33,825
My keys and wallet, everything,
it's over there. Can I use your phone?
300
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:36,127
Sure, of course, let me just get that.
301
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,896
Hey, Roger, why don't we talk later?
302
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:40,471
Because I think 6-A really needs my help.
303
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,903
- Colin.
- Hi.
304
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,936
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
305
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:49,074
So,
306
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:51,815
how about some dinner tonight?
307
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:55,210
Tonight, tonight?
308
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,118
We have that tenants' meeting tonight.
309
00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:01,715
That's right. Tenants' meeting.
310
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:06,656
We're trying to get
this very loud bird evicted.
311
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:11,863
But why don't I call you later
and we'll figure out
312
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:16,498
maybe another time
that we can get together.
313
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,597
Okay.
314
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:28,550
Bye.
315
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,325
Hi, I'm Roger.
316
00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:39,493
Hey, do you think the woman
coming out of your apartment
317
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:41,879
could have helped you
with the "being locked out" problem?
318
00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:46,095
Okay.
319
00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:49,071
I had a little situation
that I needed to get out of,
320
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:51,199
not unlike your situation here, so I...
321
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,403
Lied to her, then lied to me?
322
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:56,514
I look at it as trying to
avoid hurt feelings.
323
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:00,679
This is pretty cool. Where'd you get this?
324
00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:02,117
I made it.
325
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:04,922
- No shit.
- Shit.
326
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,922
Listen, I don't want to have anything to do
327
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:09,687
with your crusade to sleep
with every woman in Boston, okay?
328
00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:11,126
They're kind of like my sisters.
329
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:13,598
I thought you'd be cooler than this.
330
00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:15,223
I saw that toast you made on YouTube.
331
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,974
Seemed like you had
a good sense of humor.
332
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:19,333
Those bitches put my toast up
on YouTube?
333
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:21,596
How did you see it already?
334
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:23,868
I got everybody in the building
on Google Alert.
335
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,906
I come from a family of cops,
it's in my nature to dig up dirt.
336
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,179
Guy in 4-D tried to marry his dog.
337
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,250
- No! Bandit?
- Oh, yeah.
338
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:37,178
All right, well, looks
like the coast is clear.
339
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:39,382
Thank you. You're a peach.
340
00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:40,549
You're a pig.
341
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:51,326
This is good.
342
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:55,463
Okay, okay, that's enough.
I think the idea is just to taste them.
343
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:58,066
Why? Nobody's ever gonna
see me naked again.
344
00:22:58,176 --> 00:22:59,336
I might as well enjoy myself.
345
00:22:59,444 --> 00:23:02,777
Yeah, like you're really gonna be celibate.
346
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:05,475
I don't have a choice.
I said I was gonna stop at 20,
347
00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:09,281
and now, thanks to
that finger-smelling fuck, I'm at 20.
348
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,788
Just promise me you're not gonna put me
at the singles' table
349
00:23:11,813 --> 00:23:13,855
with Sheila and her mom. Please.
350
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:16,484
Seating is really complicated.
351
00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:18,153
Oh, my God.
352
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,793
Wait.
353
00:23:21,933 --> 00:23:24,868
- Does that guy look familiar to you?
- No.
354
00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:28,132
Oh, shit!
355
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,867
What?
356
00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:33,240
That's Disgusting Donald! I dated him.
357
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,440
- Did I ever meet him?
- No! Nobody did.
358
00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:42,018
He's the reason I learned to cook.
359
00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:46,449
We have nothing to eat!
Honey, let's go out tonight.
360
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:52,158
I don't know.
There's just so many people out there.
361
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,722
Come on. I want to try the new Korean
barbecue place everyone's talking about.
362
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:58,064
I can make Korean barbecue.
Easy. What do we need?
363
00:23:58,170 --> 00:24:00,968
A table with a grill built into it.
364
00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:05,173
That guy doesn't look disgusting at all.
He's actually kind of cute.
365
00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:07,039
I know, but I really think it's him.
366
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:09,613
All right, well, go say hi and see.
367
00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:24,160
Ally?
368
00:24:24,329 --> 00:24:26,354
- Donald?
- Oh, my gosh.
369
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:27,727
- It is you.
- Hi.
370
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:32,327
Hi. I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
371
00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:34,029
Yeah, well...
372
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:39,868
Oh, Ally, please meet my fiancée, Cara.
373
00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:41,000
- Hi.
- This is Ally.
374
00:24:41,112 --> 00:24:43,376
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
375
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:47,680
So, how did you guys meet?
376
00:24:48,954 --> 00:24:50,888
- At a conference.
- At a conference.
377
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,583
Can you believe it?
She's a rocket scientist.
378
00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:55,182
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
379
00:24:55,293 --> 00:24:58,421
I'm actually just an engineer,
but he loves to say that.
380
00:24:58,530 --> 00:25:01,397
- You know, I'm not the typical...
- I get it.
381
00:25:02,434 --> 00:25:04,299
Ally and I are old friends.
382
00:25:05,804 --> 00:25:07,738
What are you doing here?
383
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:12,071
I'm just tasting some cake
384
00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:14,210
for my wedding.
385
00:25:14,779 --> 00:25:16,838
I'm marrying a scientist, too.
386
00:25:18,149 --> 00:25:20,640
Yeah, he doesn't look smart either.
387
00:25:20,952 --> 00:25:22,385
I'm here with my sister
388
00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:27,948
because he's up in the North Pole
dealing with the whole icecap situation.
389
00:25:28,727 --> 00:25:29,751
Yeah.
390
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:32,054
He's probably gonna fix it.
391
00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:34,728
I can't believe that he said
that we were just friends.
392
00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:36,164
Like I was the embarrassment!
393
00:25:36,301 --> 00:25:38,565
He had man boobs, big hairy ones.
394
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:40,263
God! I can't believe it's the same guy.
395
00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:42,035
He looks so good now. He even looks taller.
396
00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:43,539
A lot of men get better with age.
397
00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:46,338
I mean, you said it yourself,
Eddie used to be a total douche.
398
00:25:46,444 --> 00:25:47,911
People change.
399
00:25:49,681 --> 00:25:50,978
You're right.
400
00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:52,515
Daisy, you're a genius.
401
00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:54,312
I don't have to be celibate or go over 20.
402
00:25:54,419 --> 00:25:55,613
What do you mean?
403
00:25:55,954 --> 00:25:58,718
Donald can't be my only ex
who's gotten better with time.
404
00:25:58,957 --> 00:26:00,390
Okay.
405
00:26:01,126 --> 00:26:02,559
Love you.
406
00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:15,465
Right.
407
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:22,838
Okay.
408
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:24,139
Jake Adams' dad.
409
00:26:24,716 --> 00:26:25,944
Jake Adams' Facebook.
410
00:26:27,552 --> 00:26:28,849
Okay.
411
00:26:29,554 --> 00:26:30,987
Jake Adams III.
412
00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:33,080
No, Jake Adams IV.
413
00:26:33,191 --> 00:26:36,422
Forget it.
All right, moving on, for now.
414
00:26:38,396 --> 00:26:40,023
What do we have next?
415
00:26:40,498 --> 00:26:42,466
Mike Miller.
416
00:26:43,501 --> 00:26:45,298
Eleven million results?
417
00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:47,337
Holy shit!
418
00:26:48,873 --> 00:26:51,808
From Cresskill, New Jersey.
419
00:26:52,677 --> 00:26:55,840
Eight million results! What the fuck?
420
00:26:55,947 --> 00:27:00,145
Mike Miller from Cresskill, New Jersey,
obsessed with Bruce Springsteen,
421
00:27:00,251 --> 00:27:03,049
big balls, tiny penis?
422
00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:07,324
What? No! God!
423
00:27:07,993 --> 00:27:09,984
Oh, God, stop it! No!
424
00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:17,426
Goodbye.
425
00:27:36,254 --> 00:27:37,585
Balls.
426
00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:41,589
You know, I swing them left
and I swing them right
427
00:27:41,693 --> 00:27:43,820
That's not my fault.
428
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,795
I told you not to put it there.
429
00:27:50,101 --> 00:27:51,500
Under the bed.
430
00:27:52,470 --> 00:27:53,494
Hi.
431
00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:55,436
Morning, 6-C.
432
00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:57,770
Hey, I see that you have company,
433
00:27:57,876 --> 00:28:00,709
but I just want to ask you
a really quick question.
434
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,972
Remember how you said
you were good at digging up dirt?
435
00:28:02,997 --> 00:28:06,433
Do you think that maybe I could pay you
to find some people for me?
436
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:10,116
Sweetheart, if I'm gonna help you,
you got to give me more info than that.
437
00:28:10,221 --> 00:28:12,155
Just some guys that I've dated.
438
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,886
You have herpes.
That's not a fun call to make.
439
00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,659
No, I...
440
00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:17,785
I don't know. I just...
441
00:28:17,896 --> 00:28:21,627
I think that one of these guys
might be worth a second look.
442
00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:33,574
No. I refuse to be
a part of this type of crazy.
443
00:28:33,678 --> 00:28:36,598
I don't know why these guys broke up
with you, and I need to protect them.
444
00:28:37,248 --> 00:28:39,307
Wait. Why do you assume
they all broke up with me?
445
00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:43,005
Because you seem like the type of girl
who tries to make a bad thing work.
446
00:28:43,354 --> 00:28:44,844
Some people call that optimism.
447
00:28:45,023 --> 00:28:47,014
I call it crazy.
448
00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:49,355
I'm sorry I asked. I knew you'd be a jerk.
449
00:28:49,461 --> 00:28:52,157
Don't be mad.
It doesn't mean I won't sleep with you.
450
00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:53,797
Gross.
451
00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:12,912
Colin! Colin, open up! Colin!
452
00:29:14,252 --> 00:29:16,618
Colin, we got to go!
Mom fell in the shower.
453
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,085
- What?
- Yeah, she fell in the shower!
454
00:29:19,190 --> 00:29:20,282
Hi.
455
00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:24,327
She's at the hospital. She's all wet.
456
00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:26,892
We got to get out of here!
457
00:29:26,998 --> 00:29:29,592
They're drying her off right now,
as we speak.
458
00:29:29,701 --> 00:29:32,568
I'm so sorry.
You seem like a really awesome person.
459
00:29:33,138 --> 00:29:35,470
I'm sure he's gonna call you,
but we got to go!
460
00:29:35,573 --> 00:29:37,666
Come on! She's hurt!
461
00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:43,144
Very impressive.
462
00:29:44,749 --> 00:29:47,877
You help me track down my exes,
I'll help you escape yours.
463
00:29:48,753 --> 00:29:51,278
What happened to protecting your sisters?
464
00:29:51,422 --> 00:29:54,186
If those girls can't see you coming,
they deserve what they get.
465
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:55,782
Jesus.
466
00:29:56,261 --> 00:29:59,128
This place really goes
on and on, doesn't it?
467
00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:03,023
And you can use my apartment to hide in.
468
00:30:05,036 --> 00:30:06,697
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
469
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,171
Thanks, Diana. Okay.
470
00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:11,333
So, here's all the info I have on the guys.
471
00:30:11,442 --> 00:30:13,239
Names, most recent phone numbers...
472
00:30:13,344 --> 00:30:15,676
Hey! Addresses.
473
00:30:15,780 --> 00:30:19,682
Find out who's alive, single,
and still on the East Coast, okay?
474
00:30:19,784 --> 00:30:21,979
I'll take a car or a
train, but not a plane.
475
00:30:22,554 --> 00:30:25,546
I prioritized the list,
so start at the top.
476
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,182
Jake Adams. Is that the one that got away?
477
00:30:28,293 --> 00:30:30,261
Well, something like that.
478
00:30:30,361 --> 00:30:33,455
His dad's name is also Jake Adams
and he owns, like, half of Boston.
479
00:30:33,565 --> 00:30:36,261
- So, he should be pretty easy to find.
- The Jake Adams?
480
00:30:36,901 --> 00:30:38,221
Well, he may not be hard to find,
481
00:30:38,246 --> 00:30:39,879
but I guarantee
he's gonna be hard to get to.
482
00:30:39,904 --> 00:30:42,384
You don't have a phone number or address
or anything like that?
483
00:30:42,409 --> 00:30:44,066
If I had that, I wouldn't need you.
484
00:30:44,175 --> 00:30:47,372
I do know that Tom Piper
is on the fast track to becoming a senator.
485
00:30:47,478 --> 00:30:49,810
And move John Kimble
up to number three.
486
00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:53,042
He probably still works at Starbucks,
but he's the best sex I've ever had.
487
00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:54,448
You haven't had sex with me.
488
00:30:54,586 --> 00:30:57,783
No, but I have had sex with other
overly confident struggling musicians.
489
00:30:57,889 --> 00:30:59,254
So, I'm good.
490
00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:00,984
What makes you think I'm a musician?
491
00:31:01,092 --> 00:31:04,118
Guitar in your apartment,
you dress like a horny teenager,
492
00:31:04,229 --> 00:31:06,163
I paid for that sandwich.
Struggling musician.
493
00:31:06,631 --> 00:31:08,671
So, I don't get it.
Why go through all this trouble?
494
00:31:08,696 --> 00:31:09,822
Why not just find a new guy?
495
00:31:09,930 --> 00:31:11,697
No. No new guys.
496
00:31:11,803 --> 00:31:13,498
New is always better than old.
497
00:31:13,605 --> 00:31:14,867
Of course you'd say that.
498
00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:17,942
I bet the longest relationship
you've ever had is with that sandwich.
499
00:31:24,082 --> 00:31:28,178
What's it like for you to fall asleep
with all your thoughts?
500
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:34,419
Do you wake up blue?
Do you just sleep it off?
501
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:36,654
- That's pretty.
- I know.
502
00:31:36,828 --> 00:31:39,353
Are you really gonna let us look good
at your wedding?
503
00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:43,894
No. That's Mom's dress.
Those are the bridesmaids' dresses.
504
00:31:45,603 --> 00:31:46,934
Sorry. Mom picked them out,
505
00:31:47,038 --> 00:31:48,596
and I'm trying to keep her happy
506
00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:50,469
because I invited Dad to the wedding.
507
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:53,476
- Have you told Mom?
- No, not yet.
508
00:31:57,348 --> 00:31:58,610
I think this is it, right?
509
00:32:01,686 --> 00:32:03,085
It's beautiful.
510
00:32:03,187 --> 00:32:05,155
- Perfect.
- I love it.
511
00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:06,848
That is a lot of poof.
512
00:32:07,492 --> 00:32:09,119
The poof is what I like about it.
513
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,121
But don't you want to have
wedding night sex with your dress still on?
514
00:32:12,146 --> 00:32:14,931
- I don't know. Do I?
- Yeah, naughty bride, you do.
515
00:32:15,033 --> 00:32:16,793
I'm just concerned
that with all those layers
516
00:32:16,868 --> 00:32:18,631
he's not gonna be able to find your vagina.
517
00:32:18,736 --> 00:32:21,102
- Good point.
- I mean, forget about 69.
518
00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:24,333
She's not gonna 69.
519
00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:27,309
- Why not?
- Because she's a grown-up.
520
00:32:27,412 --> 00:32:29,107
Sixty-nines are for when you're 17
521
00:32:29,213 --> 00:32:32,649
and you're trying to cram everything in
at once before your parents get home.
522
00:32:32,750 --> 00:32:33,876
Thank you.
523
00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:37,614
Matt is always trying to do that,
and I say, "Let's just take turns."
524
00:32:37,722 --> 00:32:39,587
"What's the rush?"
525
00:32:39,691 --> 00:32:41,591
Oh, my God. He found Dave Hansen.
526
00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:44,184
Wait. Are you tracking down
all your ex-boyfriends
527
00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:46,456
so you don't have to go over 20?
528
00:32:46,564 --> 00:32:47,861
- What?
- Think about it.
529
00:32:47,949 --> 00:32:49,509
If it works out with one of these guys,
530
00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,711
that means a whole period of my life
won't have been a waste.
531
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:53,736
Yeah, but it didn't work out
with any of those guys
532
00:32:53,761 --> 00:32:55,400
because they were all wrong for you.
533
00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:58,566
Dave Hansen.
Isn't that the magician you dated?
534
00:33:04,415 --> 00:33:06,349
I believe this is yours.
535
00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:16,387
I believe these are yours.
536
00:33:20,965 --> 00:33:23,160
You work fast!
537
00:33:23,267 --> 00:33:25,895
This one was easy. He has his own website,
538
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:27,471
supersexymagic.com.
539
00:33:29,607 --> 00:33:31,598
Well, I'm sure I'll be able to find him.
540
00:33:31,743 --> 00:33:34,678
So, you can scoot and skedaddle.
541
00:33:34,779 --> 00:33:36,406
And miss the show?
542
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:45,148
Okay.
543
00:33:48,059 --> 00:33:50,527
Nope, I'm done here.
544
00:33:50,628 --> 00:33:51,652
That's it?
545
00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:56,197
Why? Because he's a bartender?
546
00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:58,268
No, because he's still a bartender.
547
00:33:58,369 --> 00:34:00,337
He's exactly where he was nine years ago,
548
00:34:00,438 --> 00:34:04,841
an out-of-work magician
who sleeps till noon, bartends till 3:00,
549
00:34:04,942 --> 00:34:06,876
and goes around
pulling money out of people.
550
00:34:06,978 --> 00:34:08,468
He keeps your quarter, by the way.
551
00:34:08,579 --> 00:34:12,106
So what? You could have had some fun
for old times' sake.
552
00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:14,096
No. You know,
even if it didn't raise my number,
553
00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:16,686
I can't afford to waste anymore time
on guys like him.
554
00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:18,508
Wait, wait, wait.
That's what this is about?
555
00:34:18,533 --> 00:34:23,620
You don't want to raise your number!
That's why you won't sleep with me.
556
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:27,164
No, there's a lot of reasons
why I won't sleep with you.
557
00:34:27,265 --> 00:34:28,562
No, there's not.
558
00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:31,401
I don't know why girls care so much
about their number anyway.
559
00:34:31,502 --> 00:34:34,835
You guys all have this ideal girl
in your minds
560
00:34:34,939 --> 00:34:38,932
and if our number gets too high,
we can't be that girl.
561
00:34:39,043 --> 00:34:41,409
The ideal girl. Tell me about her.
562
00:34:41,512 --> 00:34:44,037
You know,
you can take her home to the family,
563
00:34:44,148 --> 00:34:48,551
she's smart, but not smarter than you,
and she bakes apple pies with your mom
564
00:34:48,653 --> 00:34:50,413
and plays catch
with your handicapped sister,
565
00:34:50,438 --> 00:34:52,618
but then when you're alone,
she's takes off her glasses
566
00:34:52,723 --> 00:34:54,918
and puts on a vinyl cat suit
and fucks you sideways!
567
00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:57,722
That girl doesn't exist.
If she did, I'd be sleeping with her.
568
00:34:57,829 --> 00:35:01,321
And what kind of guy cares about how
many people you've slept with anyway?
569
00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:02,831
Decent guys.
570
00:35:26,557 --> 00:35:29,822
Hey! What are you doing?
571
00:35:31,195 --> 00:35:32,423
Waiting for
572
00:35:33,998 --> 00:35:35,329
Amy to leave.
573
00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:38,334
You hooked up with someone last night
after I left you?
574
00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:40,370
Hooking up sounds so crass.
575
00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:42,769
We shared a romantic experience.
576
00:35:43,341 --> 00:35:45,571
And then I told her
I had an early dentist appointment,
577
00:35:45,676 --> 00:35:48,440
and I'm hiding on your
couch till she leaves.
578
00:35:48,546 --> 00:35:52,983
Well, maybe you could use this downtime
to do some actual work.
579
00:35:53,084 --> 00:35:56,212
I am working.
I set up a Facebook account for you.
580
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,812
I don't want to be on Facebook.
What picture did you use?
581
00:35:59,924 --> 00:36:01,391
The one I just took of you sleeping.
582
00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:03,173
I think this is gonna be better.
583
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,600
While you're looking for them,
they can be looking for you.
584
00:36:05,625 --> 00:36:06,972
Fine, but I refuse to tweet.
585
00:36:07,698 --> 00:36:10,997
Number 14, Evan Slater,
has friend-requested you.
586
00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:12,831
He's tagged you in a photo
587
00:36:12,937 --> 00:36:16,202
and he's suggested
you become a fan of Tito's Tacos.
588
00:36:16,374 --> 00:36:18,274
I liked Evan.
589
00:36:18,376 --> 00:36:20,310
Yeah, and who doesn't like tacos?
590
00:36:20,945 --> 00:36:22,913
He's adorable.
591
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:28,608
And so are his wife and kids.
592
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,415
Well, he clearly doesn't understand
what Facebook is for.
593
00:36:31,522 --> 00:36:33,882
You know, if you don't start
taking this job more seriously,
594
00:36:33,907 --> 00:36:36,432
you're fired from using my apartment.
595
00:36:36,994 --> 00:36:38,188
Where's my coffee pot?
596
00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:39,661
I broke it.
597
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:42,056
If you were on Twitter,
you'd know that already.
598
00:36:46,771 --> 00:36:48,864
You owe me $19.95.
599
00:36:48,973 --> 00:36:50,907
How about I pay you back in Chinese food?
600
00:36:51,008 --> 00:36:52,498
I ordered Charlie Chiang.
601
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:54,407
Did you get the itty-bitty spare ribs?
602
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,120
Okay, I'll be there in five minutes.
603
00:36:58,416 --> 00:36:59,508
Hey.
604
00:36:59,817 --> 00:37:01,375
Hey, come on in.
605
00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:10,656
Yeah.
606
00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:12,791
Dad didn't take me to too many ball games,
607
00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:15,388
but we did go on a lot of stakeouts.
608
00:37:15,499 --> 00:37:16,932
It's impressive.
609
00:37:19,637 --> 00:37:21,798
Okay, so Mike Miller
and Eric Hamilton are married.
610
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:25,270
So is Valerio, the guy from Italy.
611
00:37:25,509 --> 00:37:26,806
Plum sauce?
612
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,401
Yes, please, but no mustard.
613
00:37:28,512 --> 00:37:30,742
No mustard? Mustard's the best part.
614
00:37:30,848 --> 00:37:32,110
Not if you hate mustard.
615
00:37:33,017 --> 00:37:34,746
Anything on Jake Adams yet?
616
00:37:34,852 --> 00:37:36,410
No. I'm sorry.
617
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,120
I told you, rich people are very good
at protecting their privacy,
618
00:37:39,145 --> 00:37:40,585
but just be patient, we'll find him.
619
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:42,722
What about Simon Forester?
620
00:37:42,827 --> 00:37:44,907
He's separated
and his house just went on the market,
621
00:37:44,932 --> 00:37:47,560
so I'm guessing a divorce
is right around the corner.
622
00:37:47,698 --> 00:37:50,496
Okay. Let's try Simon.
623
00:37:50,601 --> 00:37:51,932
Simon.
624
00:37:52,069 --> 00:37:55,800
Okay, so what's my plan?
Guy getting a divorce.
625
00:37:56,507 --> 00:37:57,531
Divorce...
626
00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:02,769
I could find out who his lawyer is
and get a job there as his assistant.
627
00:38:03,314 --> 00:38:07,580
Or we keep it simple
and you just go look at his open house.
628
00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:13,582
The challenge with a newly divorced guy
is that he's just looking to have fun.
629
00:38:13,691 --> 00:38:15,891
What you got to do
is give him the best sex of his life.
630
00:38:15,916 --> 00:38:18,885
He can't realize that he's falling
in love with you until it's too late.
631
00:38:19,019 --> 00:38:22,324
So, I'm covering up the fact that
I'm marriage material with amazing sex?
632
00:38:22,867 --> 00:38:26,030
- Yeah. How's your blowjob?
- What?
633
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,537
Relax. This is business.
I'm trying to help you.
634
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:30,664
Well, if you must know, it's pretty good.
635
00:38:30,775 --> 00:38:32,936
It's the hand job
I haven't quite figured out yet.
636
00:38:33,044 --> 00:38:35,808
Well, I guarantee you he has, so skip it.
637
00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:38,606
All right, I guess this is it.
638
00:38:38,716 --> 00:38:40,047
- Ready?
- Yeah.
639
00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:45,045
This is nice. Simon's doing well.
640
00:38:45,456 --> 00:38:48,016
I wonder where the realtor is.
641
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:49,456
Hello?
642
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:55,821
Is that...
643
00:38:57,335 --> 00:38:58,700
What the...
644
00:38:58,869 --> 00:39:00,268
- Donald!
- Ally!
645
00:39:00,371 --> 00:39:02,168
What the fuck are you doing in my home?
646
00:39:04,542 --> 00:39:08,546
The door was open, so I just assumed
this was the open house.
647
00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:12,775
No. No. This is my house.
You're in my home.
648
00:39:12,983 --> 00:39:14,314
Well...
649
00:39:16,220 --> 00:39:19,621
My fiancé, Pierre,
and I are looking to buy a place
650
00:39:20,825 --> 00:39:23,487
when he gets back from the North Pole.
651
00:39:23,594 --> 00:39:27,030
Hey, Ally, can I go ahead
and get that picture back from you?
652
00:39:28,566 --> 00:39:31,194
I'm sorry.
653
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:48,618
That was Disgusting Donald.
654
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:49,811
He didn't look disgusting.
655
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,684
He was disgusting when I dated him, okay?
656
00:39:56,861 --> 00:39:58,488
Oh, my God, there's Simon.
657
00:39:58,596 --> 00:40:01,656
He looks good for a guy
going through a divorce.
658
00:40:09,707 --> 00:40:10,901
Before you take my order,
659
00:40:11,008 --> 00:40:15,377
I do feel compelled to explain
why a single, straight man
660
00:40:15,479 --> 00:40:17,811
is having high tea by himself
on Beacon Hill.
661
00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,678
Well,
662
00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:23,618
I'm just so homesick
that I'd kill for anything English.
663
00:40:31,295 --> 00:40:33,058
Okay, so go. I can take it from here.
664
00:40:33,164 --> 00:40:34,564
- Don't shove me.
- Get out of here.
665
00:40:34,665 --> 00:40:36,030
Don't shove me.
666
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,500
- Get out of here!
- Hey! I said don't shove me!
667
00:40:39,003 --> 00:40:40,436
Ally Darling?
668
00:40:41,572 --> 00:40:42,937
Is that you?
669
00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:47,436
Simon, I can't believe it.
670
00:40:48,379 --> 00:40:50,176
What are the chances?
671
00:40:52,049 --> 00:40:53,414
It's brilliant to see you.
672
00:40:53,517 --> 00:40:55,644
It is brilliant.
673
00:40:55,753 --> 00:41:00,588
Simon, this is my neighbor, Colin.
But he has to go now.
674
00:41:00,691 --> 00:41:02,158
No, I don't.
675
00:41:02,259 --> 00:41:04,318
- Pleasure.
- No, no, the pleasure's all mine.
676
00:41:07,164 --> 00:41:09,098
It's great to see...
677
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,880
Did you look this good
when we were dating?
678
00:41:11,235 --> 00:41:14,204
Well, I had a fringe back then.
679
00:41:14,872 --> 00:41:17,306
That's bangs. "Fringe" is "bangs."
680
00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:20,805
- Americans.
- Listen, they're showing my house,
681
00:41:20,911 --> 00:41:22,631
so I've got to disappear for an hour or so,
682
00:41:22,656 --> 00:41:24,021
but do you fancy grabbing a pint?
683
00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:26,580
Smashing.
684
00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:28,641
Cheerio, Colin.
685
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:31,314
How are you fancying driving on the right?
686
00:41:32,256 --> 00:41:34,224
Cross Simon off the list.
687
00:41:34,892 --> 00:41:36,189
What happened?
688
00:41:36,293 --> 00:41:39,319
My British accent was a little rusty,
and halfway through darts
689
00:41:39,430 --> 00:41:41,330
I started sounding like Eliza Doolittle.
690
00:41:43,868 --> 00:41:46,166
Don't take your eye off the board.
691
00:41:47,471 --> 00:41:51,373
No. Straight. Just... Higher. Better.
692
00:41:53,777 --> 00:41:57,406
Bloody 'ell! I'm rubbish at this.
693
00:42:02,419 --> 00:42:05,081
You were saying you got sacked.
694
00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:08,955
Yep. Losing me job
wasn't the end of the world.
695
00:42:09,059 --> 00:42:11,357
Still got me mates and a roof over me 'ead.
696
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:14,954
I don't need much, just a room somewhere,
697
00:42:15,065 --> 00:42:19,434
far away from the cold night air.
698
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,230
And then when I tried to pull out of it,
699
00:42:24,341 --> 00:42:27,469
for some reason I panicked
and went full Borat.
700
00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:31,508
So, I order another round?
701
00:42:33,484 --> 00:42:36,715
No. No, I think we better call it a night.
702
00:42:37,254 --> 00:42:41,918
Oh, no! I talk whole time.
I know nothing about you.
703
00:42:45,229 --> 00:42:49,256
So, what's next for Svorgon?
704
00:42:54,204 --> 00:42:55,228
Svorgon?
705
00:42:55,339 --> 00:42:58,172
I turned into the Swedish Chef
from The Muppets.
706
00:42:58,275 --> 00:42:59,401
He was my favorite.
707
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,673
Okay. Who else we got?
708
00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:07,941
I thought we weren't allowed up here.
709
00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:09,613
Didn't you get that memo?
710
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,017
I wrote that memo.
711
00:43:11,388 --> 00:43:14,152
It was getting kind of crowded,
and my band and I practice up here.
712
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,226
Where does your band play?
713
00:43:16,327 --> 00:43:18,659
Here, for now.
714
00:43:18,762 --> 00:43:21,595
My mom's friend is looking for a band
for her son's bar mitzvah.
715
00:43:21,699 --> 00:43:24,497
No, thank you. We're not that kind of band.
716
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:25,933
The kind that makes money?
717
00:43:26,403 --> 00:43:27,961
Let's drop it.
718
00:43:28,072 --> 00:43:30,040
We got 10 possibilities left.
719
00:43:30,507 --> 00:43:34,170
Jay from Club Med Turkoise.
I'm trying, but I need more info.
720
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,473
I'm sorry, it was spring break.
721
00:43:36,580 --> 00:43:40,243
Jay may not even be his real name.
I'm certainly not Kelli with an "I."
722
00:43:40,918 --> 00:43:42,647
Barrett Ingold, lives in Miami.
723
00:43:42,753 --> 00:43:46,086
I know it's not geographically desirable,
but he is a doctor now.
724
00:43:46,190 --> 00:43:48,021
Don't care. I hate Miami.
725
00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:49,765
I think too much sun makes people stupid.
726
00:43:50,986 --> 00:43:52,783
Okay. How do you feel about Denver?
727
00:43:52,888 --> 00:43:56,449
I found the mountain man, and that guy
has got a caboose worth relocating for.
728
00:43:56,558 --> 00:43:59,254
Pass! He always wanted
to breathe fresh air.
729
00:43:59,361 --> 00:44:01,738
Do you know how exhausting it was
to pretend to enjoy the outdoors
730
00:44:01,763 --> 00:44:02,957
with that kind of enthusiasm?
731
00:44:03,064 --> 00:44:04,998
More exhausting
than pretending to be British?
732
00:44:05,133 --> 00:44:08,093
I never had to wipe myself with a leaf
when I was pretending to be British.
733
00:44:08,118 --> 00:44:12,054
Touché. What about Gerry Perry?
He's a puppeteer, so he's single.
734
00:44:13,208 --> 00:44:15,142
I don't want to go out with Gerry Perry.
735
00:44:15,243 --> 00:44:16,938
Where's Jake Adams?
736
00:44:17,412 --> 00:44:20,074
- In Noyaradougou.
- What? Where the hell's that?
737
00:44:20,549 --> 00:44:21,777
Africa.
738
00:44:21,883 --> 00:44:23,851
He runs
his family's philanthropic foundation
739
00:44:23,952 --> 00:44:27,388
and he's overseeing the construction
of a school there.
740
00:44:30,492 --> 00:44:31,550
Is he ever coming back?
741
00:44:32,561 --> 00:44:35,587
Eventually. In the meantime,
I've got Gerry Perry.
742
00:44:35,697 --> 00:44:36,823
No!
743
00:44:38,767 --> 00:44:41,930
All right, so the puppet show starts at
2:00, and I'll meet you at the park.
744
00:44:42,037 --> 00:44:43,629
Okay.
745
00:44:43,738 --> 00:44:45,865
- Hey, Colin.
- Yeah?
746
00:44:45,974 --> 00:44:48,841
Thank you for all your hard work,
by the way.
747
00:44:48,944 --> 00:44:51,003
I really appreciate it.
748
00:44:51,112 --> 00:44:52,238
You do?
749
00:44:52,347 --> 00:44:54,406
Because sometimes, it's hard to tell.
750
00:44:55,083 --> 00:44:56,380
Really?
751
00:45:06,528 --> 00:45:07,961
What are you doing?
752
00:45:08,096 --> 00:45:10,587
Trying to end the night with a bang.
753
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,533
You really can't hang out with a girl
without sleeping with her, can you?
754
00:45:16,738 --> 00:45:19,502
Well, I can, it's just not that much fun.
755
00:45:23,945 --> 00:45:25,776
You're not on my list.
756
00:45:29,484 --> 00:45:32,112
You could just cross off the dead guy,
757
00:45:32,220 --> 00:45:34,484
put my name on there.
758
00:45:39,694 --> 00:45:41,252
Who did the poop?
759
00:45:41,696 --> 00:45:43,129
You did the poop!
760
00:45:43,231 --> 00:45:44,528
- Hey.
- Hey.
761
00:45:46,201 --> 00:45:48,294
- Whose kid is this?
- He's my nephew.
762
00:45:48,770 --> 00:45:52,228
If I'd shown up to the puppet show
without a child, it might be creepy.
763
00:45:52,340 --> 00:45:53,568
Great.
764
00:45:53,675 --> 00:45:56,041
- Can you say hi, Justin?
- Arr!
765
00:45:56,144 --> 00:45:57,509
He's a pirate.
766
00:45:57,612 --> 00:45:59,739
What are you talking about?
767
00:46:04,953 --> 00:46:07,183
- All right, you're up.
- Great.
768
00:46:07,956 --> 00:46:09,048
Come on.
769
00:46:11,359 --> 00:46:14,487
- Thanks, Gerry.
- You're welcome.
770
00:46:26,808 --> 00:46:28,776
Daisy home?
771
00:46:30,845 --> 00:46:32,073
No.
772
00:46:57,739 --> 00:47:00,207
So, when do you think Daisy will be home?
773
00:47:06,147 --> 00:47:07,808
- Gerry?
- Ally?
774
00:47:07,949 --> 00:47:10,474
- My God, what are you doing here?
- Hi.
775
00:47:10,585 --> 00:47:14,316
You know, I'm just
babysitting for a friend.
776
00:47:14,456 --> 00:47:16,754
Cool. So, you saw the magical show.
777
00:47:16,858 --> 00:47:19,793
Yeah! The kids, they just love it.
778
00:47:19,894 --> 00:47:21,794
That's just because I say "poop" a lot.
779
00:47:23,531 --> 00:47:24,555
Hey, so,
780
00:47:26,634 --> 00:47:27,931
Recognize this bad boy?
781
00:47:28,036 --> 00:47:29,663
Hey there, Smart Alec.
782
00:47:29,771 --> 00:47:30,965
Hi.
783
00:47:34,009 --> 00:47:36,307
So, how are you?
784
00:47:36,444 --> 00:47:38,344
Quit being a pussy,
and ask her about Daisy.
785
00:47:38,446 --> 00:47:40,880
What? Come on, man, don't be rude.
786
00:47:41,416 --> 00:47:44,214
You are rude. Sorry about that.
787
00:47:44,786 --> 00:47:47,880
That's okay. I'm great.
788
00:47:47,989 --> 00:47:50,355
Great, great. Well, you look great.
789
00:47:50,959 --> 00:47:53,052
Not as great as Daisy.
790
00:47:53,461 --> 00:47:54,826
Ignore him.
791
00:47:56,798 --> 00:47:58,527
Hey, but seriously,
792
00:47:58,633 --> 00:48:01,397
maybe we should exchange numbers,
you know, and catch up.
793
00:48:02,437 --> 00:48:04,632
You know what? I think I'm all caught up.
794
00:48:04,939 --> 00:48:06,167
Cool!
795
00:48:06,274 --> 00:48:08,742
But it was really great running into you.
796
00:48:08,843 --> 00:48:10,276
Great running into you.
797
00:48:10,678 --> 00:48:12,976
- No, it wasn't.
- Big mouth.
798
00:48:13,748 --> 00:48:15,739
Okay, I'll see you around.
799
00:48:19,954 --> 00:48:22,286
- Hey, Daisy.
- Hey.
800
00:48:35,770 --> 00:48:37,135
Daisy...
801
00:48:43,344 --> 00:48:46,211
I can't believe I slept with that guy.
802
00:48:46,314 --> 00:48:49,806
- Where's Justin?
- This is Justin.
803
00:48:49,918 --> 00:48:51,385
That's not Justin.
804
00:48:52,787 --> 00:48:53,867
What's the matter with you?
805
00:48:53,955 --> 00:48:55,765
Didn't your mom teach you
to not walk off with strangers?
806
00:48:55,790 --> 00:48:57,052
What's the matter with you?
807
00:48:57,158 --> 00:48:59,598
You didn't realize you had
a completely different human being?
808
00:48:59,623 --> 00:49:00,920
Justin!
809
00:49:01,129 --> 00:49:04,064
Okay. What does your mommy look like?
810
00:49:04,365 --> 00:49:05,389
Like you.
811
00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:07,730
Lucas! Get back here!
812
00:49:10,738 --> 00:49:11,932
Wait. Wait.
813
00:49:13,942 --> 00:49:17,036
Do you really think
I look like your mommy?
814
00:49:17,912 --> 00:49:19,174
Answer me!
815
00:49:19,814 --> 00:49:21,509
Answer me, Lucas!
816
00:49:22,417 --> 00:49:23,907
Lucas!
817
00:49:27,255 --> 00:49:29,348
No disappearing acts, buddy.
818
00:49:30,325 --> 00:49:34,762
Okay, I am not buying you any more food
until you find Jake Adams.
819
00:49:34,896 --> 00:49:37,416
If he was so perfect,
why didn't it work out in the first place?
820
00:49:38,867 --> 00:49:41,667
Well, we made this pact that we would
lose our virginity to each other,
821
00:49:41,692 --> 00:49:44,404
but Jake went abroad junior year,
and while he was gone,
822
00:49:44,506 --> 00:49:46,064
I broke the pact.
823
00:49:46,174 --> 00:49:47,402
With who?
824
00:49:47,509 --> 00:49:50,189
Which one of the 20 could have possibly
been better than Jake Adams?
825
00:49:50,214 --> 00:49:51,874
And why aren't we looking for him?
826
00:49:51,980 --> 00:49:53,777
You already found him.
827
00:49:53,882 --> 00:49:55,247
Gerry Perry?
828
00:49:55,350 --> 00:49:57,750
You lost your virginity to the puppeteer?
829
00:49:59,020 --> 00:50:02,922
I know. I felt bad for him.
830
00:50:03,024 --> 00:50:06,551
Oh, Ally, I underestimated you.
That's amazing.
831
00:50:06,661 --> 00:50:09,824
That's... That's my new favorite thing
about you.
832
00:50:11,032 --> 00:50:12,932
Hi. Thank you.
833
00:50:14,969 --> 00:50:15,958
- Hey.
- Hi.
834
00:50:16,070 --> 00:50:19,164
- Is Eddie coming?
- No. Mom. Don't go.
835
00:50:21,276 --> 00:50:23,276
I can't have lunch with Mom.
I didn't wash my hair.
836
00:50:23,301 --> 00:50:24,859
You can't even tell. It looks great.
837
00:50:25,113 --> 00:50:27,433
You haven't told Mom
Dad's coming to the wedding, have you?
838
00:50:28,100 --> 00:50:29,692
- No.
- And that's why I'm here.
839
00:50:29,934 --> 00:50:32,562
- Yes.
- And my hair doesn't look that great?
840
00:50:32,670 --> 00:50:34,934
No. I can't tell her alone.
841
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,206
Fine. Pass the butter.
842
00:50:38,843 --> 00:50:40,572
Hi, Mummy.
843
00:50:41,946 --> 00:50:42,970
Hi, Mom.
844
00:50:43,081 --> 00:50:46,380
Kitty. Oh, my.
845
00:50:46,484 --> 00:50:48,111
So, the caterer called.
846
00:50:48,853 --> 00:50:53,051
How strict a vegetarian
is your boyfriend Rick, honey?
847
00:50:53,157 --> 00:50:55,955
Would he be willing to eat
just a little chicken for one night?
848
00:50:56,261 --> 00:50:57,853
No, Rick's not coming. They broke up.
849
00:50:57,962 --> 00:51:00,226
- Daisy!
- What? Not again.
850
00:51:00,632 --> 00:51:02,156
- Dad's coming to the wedding.
- What?
851
00:51:02,267 --> 00:51:03,632
Ally!
852
00:51:05,403 --> 00:51:06,893
How could you do this to me?
853
00:51:07,972 --> 00:51:10,600
I'm not doing anything to you, Mom.
854
00:51:10,708 --> 00:51:14,041
Except making it impossible
for me to come.
855
00:51:14,145 --> 00:51:15,585
You're not gonna come to my wedding?
856
00:51:15,610 --> 00:51:19,075
Not if your father's coming, I'm not.
857
00:51:19,217 --> 00:51:21,082
Maybe he can be Allison's date.
858
00:51:21,819 --> 00:51:24,811
I'm sure you will just have
a lovely, lovely time.
859
00:51:25,323 --> 00:51:27,223
- Bye, Mom. Bye.
- Bye, Mom.
860
00:51:28,159 --> 00:51:31,026
- You have to fix this.
- I'll talk to her when I get back.
861
00:51:31,129 --> 00:51:34,064
- Where are you going?
- Miami, for a Pap smear.
862
00:51:34,165 --> 00:51:36,565
- Why?
- Do you remember Barrett Ingold?
863
00:51:36,668 --> 00:51:38,228
The guy who threw up in our dishwasher?
864
00:51:38,269 --> 00:51:39,964
Yeah. He's a gynecologist now.
865
00:51:40,071 --> 00:51:41,436
But you hate Miami.
866
00:51:41,539 --> 00:51:43,899
I know. But I'm not having
as much luck as I'd hoped locally
867
00:51:43,924 --> 00:51:46,309
and I'm running out of time,
money, and viable eggs.
868
00:51:46,444 --> 00:51:49,140
So, you're telling me
that tracking down your ex-boyfriends
869
00:51:49,247 --> 00:51:52,341
is more important
than helping me plan my wedding?
870
00:51:52,450 --> 00:51:54,748
I know it sounds stupid to you,
but it is important.
871
00:51:54,852 --> 00:51:57,787
I feel like everyone else
is moving on with their lives but me.
872
00:51:57,922 --> 00:52:00,982
Ally, I'm all for moving on, I really am,
873
00:52:01,092 --> 00:52:04,926
but it just feels like
this quest you're on is a little nuts.
874
00:52:05,029 --> 00:52:07,862
You know what? If you hadn't given
your ex-boyfriend a second chance,
875
00:52:07,966 --> 00:52:09,593
you wouldn't even be having a wedding.
876
00:52:09,701 --> 00:52:13,364
Besides, I need a Pap smear
and he takes my insurance.
877
00:52:13,471 --> 00:52:14,961
I'm late for my spray tan.
878
00:52:33,591 --> 00:52:35,081
Hello, Allison.
879
00:52:37,028 --> 00:52:39,223
Barrett?
880
00:52:39,330 --> 00:52:42,356
Oh, my God, is that you?
881
00:52:43,935 --> 00:52:45,266
Hi.
882
00:52:46,237 --> 00:52:49,229
It's Ally. Ally Darling.
883
00:52:49,340 --> 00:52:51,740
Yeah, from spinning.
884
00:52:52,410 --> 00:52:53,536
No.
885
00:52:53,644 --> 00:52:55,168
From... Greg's birthday party.
886
00:52:55,913 --> 00:52:58,040
We went to college together.
887
00:53:00,018 --> 00:53:01,383
We dated.
888
00:53:03,154 --> 00:53:04,314
How about that?
889
00:53:04,422 --> 00:53:06,720
Well, that was a long time ago.
890
00:53:06,824 --> 00:53:10,260
So, let's see how things are going now.
Can you scooch?
891
00:53:11,195 --> 00:53:12,355
Very good.
892
00:53:21,572 --> 00:53:24,268
Ally! Of course.
893
00:53:27,712 --> 00:53:30,476
He recognized my vagina!
894
00:53:30,615 --> 00:53:34,608
What's going on down there?
I got to say, I'm a little freaked out.
895
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:36,399
Well, I'd be happy to take a look for you.
896
00:53:36,424 --> 00:53:38,787
I used all my miles for that!
897
00:53:38,890 --> 00:53:40,983
Cross Barrett off the list!
898
00:53:41,092 --> 00:53:43,117
You know what? Cross the list off the list!
899
00:53:43,227 --> 00:53:44,387
What am I doing?
900
00:53:44,495 --> 00:53:49,228
Unemployed, spending every last dime
trying to track down these assholes
901
00:53:49,333 --> 00:53:51,801
who already broke up with me once.
902
00:53:51,903 --> 00:53:54,337
Maybe I should just quit.
903
00:53:54,439 --> 00:53:57,465
Well, that's too bad,
'cause I found Tom Piper.
904
00:53:58,276 --> 00:53:59,641
Keep talking.
905
00:53:59,744 --> 00:54:01,143
He's in D.C., like you said.
906
00:54:01,279 --> 00:54:03,039
He's working as an aide
for Senator Mitchell.
907
00:54:07,652 --> 00:54:09,732
I don't have anything
a politician's wife would wear.
908
00:54:10,221 --> 00:54:12,917
I do have a store credit
for Ann Taylor.!
909
00:54:14,092 --> 00:54:15,559
Hi.
910
00:54:15,660 --> 00:54:17,321
I'm on your street
and I have to poo.
911
00:54:17,428 --> 00:54:20,591
Okay, let yourself in,
I'll be home in 10 minutes.
912
00:54:22,967 --> 00:54:24,400
Hi.
913
00:54:26,070 --> 00:54:27,196
Hey.
914
00:54:27,305 --> 00:54:28,567
Oh, Jesus.
915
00:54:28,673 --> 00:54:30,833
Tell me you're not naked on my couch
next to my sister.
916
00:54:31,776 --> 00:54:34,472
Thankfully, he doesn't like to play
without his underwear.
917
00:54:34,579 --> 00:54:36,774
The guitar gets cold against his penis.
918
00:54:36,881 --> 00:54:39,543
So, you two have met.
919
00:54:39,951 --> 00:54:42,283
Hey, remember Tom Piper?
920
00:54:42,386 --> 00:54:45,378
Colin found him in D.C.,
so I'm going there tomorrow,
921
00:54:46,457 --> 00:54:48,118
wearing this!
922
00:54:48,226 --> 00:54:49,625
I'm so excited.
923
00:54:49,727 --> 00:54:51,354
Then why would you wear a pantsuit?
924
00:54:51,462 --> 00:54:53,902
Don't you have your interview
at Sheffield and Bloom tomorrow?
925
00:54:53,927 --> 00:54:55,663
That's the beauty of a pantsuit, you know.
926
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,961
It works for both a super-boring interview
927
00:54:58,069 --> 00:55:01,835
and for an accidental, on-purpose
encounter with my future husband.
928
00:55:01,939 --> 00:55:04,739
Hey, did you ever try and sell
those freaky little sculptures you make?
929
00:55:04,764 --> 00:55:07,940
- No, she needs a real job.
- Oh, yeah, those are just a hobby.
930
00:55:08,045 --> 00:55:09,137
I think they're amazing.
931
00:55:09,247 --> 00:55:11,247
You should try.
Not everyone can do that, you know.
932
00:55:12,483 --> 00:55:14,203
Excuse me,
would you mind giving me and Ally
933
00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:15,508
a little bit of privacy, please?
934
00:55:16,669 --> 00:55:18,933
- She has to poo.
- Ally!
935
00:55:20,005 --> 00:55:22,030
Hey, hasn't your lady friend left yet?
936
00:55:22,174 --> 00:55:24,574
No, I guess this one's a late sleeper.
937
00:55:24,677 --> 00:55:25,666
Wait. Are you...
938
00:55:25,778 --> 00:55:29,270
Is he hiding out here
because there's a woman in his apartment?
939
00:55:29,381 --> 00:55:30,848
He is.
940
00:55:30,950 --> 00:55:33,350
That's it. I'm going
to Anthony's Bakery. Excuse me.
941
00:55:33,452 --> 00:55:36,717
Do you want to grab me a cannoli? No?
942
00:55:37,923 --> 00:55:40,687
Okay. Keys.
943
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,673
- Who the hell are you?
- Andrea.
944
00:55:58,878 --> 00:56:01,278
He didn't tell you he was engaged?
945
00:56:01,380 --> 00:56:04,213
No. I am so sorry.
946
00:56:04,316 --> 00:56:07,513
When I told him I was engaged,
he didn't say anything.
947
00:56:13,058 --> 00:56:14,923
Why?
948
00:56:15,027 --> 00:56:16,790
Tits!
949
00:56:20,633 --> 00:56:23,966
Why? Why?
950
00:56:33,612 --> 00:56:36,274
Hey, wouldn't it be easier
951
00:56:36,382 --> 00:56:38,543
if you just spent the night
at their apartments
952
00:56:38,651 --> 00:56:41,017
and left in the morning, like a normal guy?
953
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:42,849
No.
954
00:56:42,955 --> 00:56:44,675
I once stayed in a relationship with a girl
955
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:46,890
because of a picture she had
on her bedside table.
956
00:56:46,992 --> 00:56:50,450
It was her dressed as Cinderella
on her fifth birthday.
957
00:56:52,164 --> 00:56:53,222
Grab that.
958
00:56:53,599 --> 00:56:54,896
So?
959
00:56:55,668 --> 00:56:59,832
So, every time I tried to split with her, I'd
picture that little girl in the blue dress.
960
00:56:59,939 --> 00:57:03,602
Happy. Excited about Monty,
her new gerbil,
961
00:57:03,709 --> 00:57:07,042
who she would later kill
by accidentally putting him in the dryer.
962
00:57:12,918 --> 00:57:15,386
Just couldn't break that
little girl's heart.
963
00:57:19,525 --> 00:57:22,445
So you're saying it's easier to sleep
with girls and never call them again
964
00:57:22,470 --> 00:57:25,064
if you don't know anything about them?
965
00:57:26,932 --> 00:57:28,559
Kind of like a serial killer.
966
00:57:30,836 --> 00:57:32,428
Yeah, I guess so.
967
00:57:34,873 --> 00:57:36,465
Hey,
so I talked to Piper's assistant.
968
00:57:36,575 --> 00:57:39,567
He said he's gonna be doing research
in the library of the Adams Building
969
00:57:39,678 --> 00:57:40,975
for the rest of the day.
970
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:44,208
Wait. Hold on.
My leg fell asleep on the train.
971
00:57:44,316 --> 00:57:46,944
Pins and needles. Pins and needles.
972
00:57:47,052 --> 00:57:49,247
- Punch it.
- Really?
973
00:57:51,557 --> 00:57:53,821
I'm punching.
974
00:57:53,926 --> 00:57:57,157
What? Your leg's
never fallen asleep before?
975
00:57:59,398 --> 00:58:00,422
What's that sound?
976
00:58:01,166 --> 00:58:02,497
Nothing.
977
00:58:02,601 --> 00:58:05,593
Hey, I didn't know you were such a big fan
of Lionel Richie.
978
00:58:05,704 --> 00:58:09,970
You know, looking at somebody's playlist
is like reading their diary.
979
00:58:15,814 --> 00:58:17,008
That's my bathtub.
980
00:58:22,554 --> 00:58:23,612
Donald.
981
00:58:24,023 --> 00:58:27,220
Ally... What are you doing here?
982
00:58:28,927 --> 00:58:30,417
Visiting my fiancé.
983
00:58:31,897 --> 00:58:35,355
- Your fiancé who was at the North Pole?
- Yep.
984
00:58:35,467 --> 00:58:37,958
He's back. Pierre is back.
985
00:58:38,170 --> 00:58:40,866
Pierre just happens to be
in Washington, D.C.,
986
00:58:40,973 --> 00:58:42,600
the same time that I have a conference?
987
00:58:43,642 --> 00:58:46,577
Yep. He's meeting with the President.
988
00:58:47,012 --> 00:58:49,572
- What a coincidence.
- I know.
989
00:58:49,682 --> 00:58:51,172
It's crazy, isn't it?
990
00:58:52,051 --> 00:58:53,040
Yeah, it is.
991
00:58:55,054 --> 00:58:58,455
That's exactly what it is. Okay.
992
00:59:27,853 --> 00:59:29,081
Do you like freedom?
993
00:59:29,188 --> 00:59:31,788
- Sign here for freedom.
- Be on our mailing list for George Bush.
994
00:59:31,890 --> 00:59:34,518
George W. Bush. Vote George Bush.
995
00:59:34,660 --> 00:59:37,424
- Get on our mailing list.
- Vote for freedom.
996
00:59:59,405 --> 01:00:00,872
No, no, no. It's taken.
997
01:00:01,474 --> 01:00:02,805
It's taken.
998
01:00:11,684 --> 01:00:13,379
Okay, excuse me.
999
01:00:15,154 --> 01:00:16,246
I'm just wondering
1000
01:00:16,355 --> 01:00:19,518
if you could help me move the table
about three feet this way?
1001
01:00:20,693 --> 01:00:22,524
I just... I like it better over there.
1002
01:00:24,864 --> 01:00:26,695
Great, keep going just a little further.
1003
01:00:27,500 --> 01:00:31,994
Go, team. That's fantastic work.
Thank you. Almost.
1004
01:00:33,472 --> 01:00:36,566
Almost. Almost there. Okay.
1005
01:00:36,742 --> 01:00:38,607
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
1006
01:00:47,086 --> 01:00:48,678
Ally Darling.
1007
01:00:48,787 --> 01:00:50,186
Tom?
1008
01:00:53,659 --> 01:00:56,355
Oh, my God!
He's taking me to this party tonight.
1009
01:00:56,462 --> 01:00:57,982
I offered to stay at the Best Western,
1010
01:00:58,007 --> 01:01:00,129
but he insisted on putting me up
at the Omni.
1011
01:01:00,232 --> 01:01:01,472
He dropped you off at the hotel
1012
01:01:01,567 --> 01:01:04,127
and didn't come up
for "it's good to see you" sex?
1013
01:01:04,236 --> 01:01:05,436
What'd you do to turn him off?
1014
01:01:05,504 --> 01:01:07,199
Nothing. He's a gentleman.
1015
01:01:07,306 --> 01:01:09,069
You wore that pantsuit, didn't you?
1016
01:01:09,174 --> 01:01:12,541
That pantsuit is sexy.
It's very Katharine Hepburn.
1017
01:01:12,645 --> 01:01:14,288
All right.
Let's clear something up right now.
1018
01:01:14,313 --> 01:01:16,611
Katharine Hepburn was not sexy.
Audrey Hepburn was sexy.
1019
01:01:16,715 --> 01:01:17,875
Katharine Hepburn was a dude.
1020
01:01:19,318 --> 01:01:22,583
Well, Tom is just a good guy.
1021
01:01:22,688 --> 01:01:25,714
Besides, you wouldn't know a gentleman
if he tiptoed up behind you
1022
01:01:25,824 --> 01:01:27,451
and tickled your balls.
1023
01:01:29,528 --> 01:01:31,120
Hello. Thank you.
1024
01:01:33,666 --> 01:01:35,497
I just got a present.
1025
01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:42,230
He just sent over
the most beautiful dress I've ever seen!
1026
01:01:43,075 --> 01:01:45,202
I feel like Cinderella.
1027
01:01:45,477 --> 01:01:49,038
Careful, if you're not home by midnight,
it might turn into a pantsuit.
1028
01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:00,686
Look at you.
1029
01:02:03,429 --> 01:02:06,455
You don't...
You don't think it's a little small?
1030
01:02:07,967 --> 01:02:09,195
I'm sorry.
1031
01:02:09,301 --> 01:02:11,741
It was hard to tell what was going on
underneath the pantsuit.
1032
01:02:14,206 --> 01:02:16,504
Perfect. You ready?
1033
01:02:17,309 --> 01:02:19,209
- Okay.
- You all right?
1034
01:02:22,581 --> 01:02:23,878
Excuse me.
1035
01:02:26,151 --> 01:02:27,175
All right.
1036
01:02:27,286 --> 01:02:28,753
- Ready? All right.
- Ready.
1037
01:02:30,356 --> 01:02:35,623
I feel lucky I feel free
1038
01:02:35,728 --> 01:02:40,256
I feel everything's a possibility
1039
01:02:45,704 --> 01:02:47,501
I can't believe Senator
Phillips and his wife
1040
01:02:47,606 --> 01:02:49,972
- were talking to us for, like, 15 minutes.
- I know!
1041
01:02:50,075 --> 01:02:51,940
He didn't even know my name
before tonight.
1042
01:02:52,044 --> 01:02:54,877
Now he wants to hear my ideas
about the tobacco reform bill.
1043
01:02:54,980 --> 01:02:58,939
And she wants to take me out to lunch.
Some place with popovers!
1044
01:03:00,552 --> 01:03:02,281
We make a great team.
1045
01:03:02,388 --> 01:03:04,447
With you by my side,
we could own this town.
1046
01:03:04,556 --> 01:03:06,353
We could totally own it.
1047
01:03:06,759 --> 01:03:08,317
I mean it, Ally.
1048
01:03:12,564 --> 01:03:16,466
Look, I have my eyes on a Senate seat,
and then the presidency.
1049
01:03:16,568 --> 01:03:18,399
Now, if tonight is any indication,
1050
01:03:18,504 --> 01:03:20,495
I think together we could go all the way.
1051
01:03:20,606 --> 01:03:22,767
- Let's do it!
- So, we're doing it?
1052
01:03:22,875 --> 01:03:24,342
Yeah!
1053
01:03:25,010 --> 01:03:26,841
What are we doing?
1054
01:03:27,279 --> 01:03:29,008
We're getting married!
1055
01:03:30,416 --> 01:03:32,384
Yeah!
1056
01:03:32,484 --> 01:03:34,042
Well,
1057
01:03:34,153 --> 01:03:37,316
maybe we should kiss first
and see how that goes.
1058
01:03:37,723 --> 01:03:40,749
A kiss? No.
1059
01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:43,885
I want you to be my beard. I'm gay.
1060
01:03:46,598 --> 01:03:47,622
What?
1061
01:03:47,733 --> 01:03:49,860
Gay. Like super gay.
1062
01:03:49,968 --> 01:03:53,369
Like, one down here, one here,
one here, one here, gay.
1063
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:56,205
I thought you knew that.
1064
01:03:57,109 --> 01:03:59,339
America's ready for a black President.
1065
01:03:59,445 --> 01:04:02,005
They're not ready for a
gay black President.
1066
01:04:02,514 --> 01:04:05,278
And we have history, Ally.
1067
01:04:05,384 --> 01:04:08,785
I mean, I wouldn't have known I was gay
if I hadn't dated you.
1068
01:04:10,422 --> 01:04:13,016
So, what do you say?
1069
01:04:13,125 --> 01:04:14,956
Can I get back to you?
1070
01:04:34,780 --> 01:04:36,338
Hey, Bandit.
1071
01:04:40,753 --> 01:04:42,744
Wait, wait, wait. Don't move.
Stay right there.
1072
01:04:44,323 --> 01:04:45,722
What are you doing here?
1073
01:04:45,824 --> 01:04:47,519
I'm not depressed enough
to sleep with you.
1074
01:04:47,626 --> 01:04:49,093
Close your eyes.
1075
01:04:49,194 --> 01:04:51,685
- That won't help.
- And
1076
01:04:52,197 --> 01:04:53,596
open them.
1077
01:04:58,804 --> 01:05:00,431
What do you think?
1078
01:05:08,614 --> 01:05:09,734
My wiring's a little spotty.
1079
01:05:09,759 --> 01:05:12,182
Every time these go on,
your bathroom light burns out,
1080
01:05:12,284 --> 01:05:14,252
but I think it's worth it.
1081
01:05:17,723 --> 01:05:19,020
What did you do?
1082
01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:21,251
I think it really brings out the detail,
you know?
1083
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:23,590
I never noticed Louie's gold tooth before.
1084
01:05:23,695 --> 01:05:25,890
I named him Louie, by the way.
1085
01:05:27,499 --> 01:05:29,194
I can't believe it.
1086
01:05:29,935 --> 01:05:31,732
This is amazing.
1087
01:05:31,870 --> 01:05:35,203
Yeah. Well, you sounded depressed
on the phone, so...
1088
01:05:35,774 --> 01:05:37,241
You hungry?
1089
01:05:38,744 --> 01:05:39,802
I'm starving!
1090
01:05:42,181 --> 01:05:44,945
So, I got good news.
I found Julie from college.
1091
01:05:45,050 --> 01:05:47,348
She is a man now, and she's single.
1092
01:05:48,420 --> 01:05:50,479
She's cute. Looks like Ralph Macchio.
1093
01:05:52,257 --> 01:05:53,246
You know what?
1094
01:05:53,392 --> 01:05:55,656
Even if he were straight,
it wouldn't have worked anyway.
1095
01:05:55,761 --> 01:05:59,458
You got to be a lady to be the First Lady,
and I ain't no lady.
1096
01:05:59,565 --> 01:06:01,999
You're a lady. You're lots of lady.
1097
01:06:02,568 --> 01:06:06,664
You're once, twice, 20 times a lady.
1098
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:14,706
Okay. Okay.
1099
01:06:14,813 --> 01:06:16,974
You're once, twice
1100
01:06:17,082 --> 01:06:19,642
Three times a lady
1101
01:06:21,119 --> 01:06:23,212
I love you
1102
01:06:25,557 --> 01:06:29,084
Yeah, you're once, twice
1103
01:06:29,928 --> 01:06:31,657
Three times a lady
1104
01:06:33,932 --> 01:06:36,958
I love you
1105
01:06:40,372 --> 01:06:41,862
Thank you. Thank you.
1106
01:06:47,512 --> 01:06:49,377
Oh, shit.
1107
01:06:49,481 --> 01:06:52,678
I either need to lie down or throw up.
1108
01:06:52,784 --> 01:06:54,012
You okay?
1109
01:06:54,119 --> 01:06:56,280
Yeah. No.
1110
01:06:57,556 --> 01:06:59,236
I have to go to my sister's wedding alone.
1111
01:07:00,525 --> 01:07:01,856
I'll go with you.
1112
01:07:02,394 --> 01:07:05,761
- You'd do that?
- Yeah. Why not?
1113
01:07:07,866 --> 01:07:11,358
Thanks. I really appreciate that.
1114
01:07:14,706 --> 01:07:17,140
I still think I'm gonna throw up.
1115
01:07:18,744 --> 01:07:19,802
Let's get some air.
1116
01:07:30,022 --> 01:07:31,614
What are we doing?
1117
01:07:31,723 --> 01:07:35,215
Just because it's dark
doesn't mean you have to whisper.
1118
01:07:39,564 --> 01:07:41,623
- Are we in the Garden?
- Yep.
1119
01:07:42,968 --> 01:07:44,799
This has got to be illegal.
1120
01:07:44,903 --> 01:07:47,269
Yeah, probably. I worked here one summer.
1121
01:07:47,372 --> 01:07:51,399
I passed out programs and I managed
to swipe a passkey before I got fired.
1122
01:07:51,510 --> 01:07:52,499
You got fired?
1123
01:07:52,611 --> 01:07:56,274
Yeah. There was an incident
with the mascot.
1124
01:07:56,381 --> 01:07:57,609
What happened?
1125
01:07:58,050 --> 01:08:01,281
I may or may not
have pissed in his pot of gold.
1126
01:08:01,386 --> 01:08:03,946
- Ever played H.O.R.S.E. In the Garden?
- No.
1127
01:08:06,358 --> 01:08:07,950
But I have played H.O.R.S.E.
1128
01:08:08,060 --> 01:08:09,789
Okay, okay.
1129
01:08:11,663 --> 01:08:12,652
Okay.
1130
01:08:15,100 --> 01:08:16,931
No!
1131
01:08:17,869 --> 01:08:21,965
"H" for you, my friend. What are you doing?
1132
01:08:22,074 --> 01:08:24,838
We're playing strip H.O.R.S.E.
Is there another kind?
1133
01:08:26,078 --> 01:08:27,958
There's the kind
where you keep your clothes on.
1134
01:08:28,013 --> 01:08:32,040
What's fun about that?
All right. "H."
1135
01:08:33,552 --> 01:08:34,917
Backboard.
1136
01:08:39,057 --> 01:08:40,490
Okay. Okay.
1137
01:08:47,399 --> 01:08:49,196
Oh, my God!
1138
01:09:00,278 --> 01:09:01,336
Nope.
1139
01:09:06,251 --> 01:09:07,445
Yeah!
1140
01:09:07,819 --> 01:09:09,480
Panty time!
1141
01:09:12,124 --> 01:09:14,058
Come on!
1142
01:09:24,770 --> 01:09:26,795
That was close. That's an "H."
1143
01:09:30,042 --> 01:09:32,237
This is not fair.
1144
01:09:32,677 --> 01:09:36,044
I miss one shot,
and I'm almost totally naked.
1145
01:09:36,815 --> 01:09:37,907
Well, that's the game.
1146
01:09:38,483 --> 01:09:41,281
Well, the game is changing.
1147
01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:43,013
It's now one-on-one.
1148
01:09:49,828 --> 01:09:51,352
This way. Let's go, baby.
1149
01:09:53,598 --> 01:09:54,929
Come get it.
1150
01:09:55,033 --> 01:09:56,933
Okay. Let's go.
1151
01:10:00,605 --> 01:10:02,266
Here we go, here we go
Satellite radio
1152
01:10:02,374 --> 01:10:04,274
Y'all getting hit with boom boom
1153
01:10:04,376 --> 01:10:06,071
Beats so big
I'm stepping on leprechauns
1154
01:10:06,178 --> 01:10:07,839
Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom
1155
01:10:07,946 --> 01:10:09,573
Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom
1156
01:10:09,915 --> 01:10:11,542
Shittin' on y'all with the...
1157
01:10:28,500 --> 01:10:29,592
Oh, my God.
1158
01:10:30,035 --> 01:10:31,297
I can't believe it.
1159
01:10:31,403 --> 01:10:33,803
I think that dress
is gonna look good on him.
1160
01:10:33,905 --> 01:10:36,874
It's a good thing you play the guitar,
because you suck at basketball.
1161
01:10:38,076 --> 01:10:40,909
Well, you can't be good at everything.
It just wouldn't be fair.
1162
01:10:41,012 --> 01:10:43,879
And I can't believe
that you can play Lionel Richie!
1163
01:10:43,982 --> 01:10:45,347
I can play a lot of things.
1164
01:10:45,450 --> 01:10:48,647
So, how come you don't make a living at it?
You're really good.
1165
01:10:48,854 --> 01:10:51,948
I want to play my own music.
1166
01:10:52,057 --> 01:10:54,116
Don't you worry about paying the rent?
1167
01:10:54,226 --> 01:10:56,023
I don't love marketing, but...
1168
01:10:56,128 --> 01:10:57,720
What do you love?
1169
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,195
I love making those
freaky little sculptures,
1170
01:11:04,669 --> 01:11:06,309
but I'm not gonna make any money at that.
1171
01:11:06,334 --> 01:11:08,734
How do you know? You've never tried.
1172
01:11:09,474 --> 01:11:13,274
I've never jumped into the harbor, either.
1173
01:11:13,378 --> 01:11:15,642
Doesn't mean that it's a good idea.
1174
01:11:15,747 --> 01:11:17,009
I think it's a great idea.
1175
01:11:17,115 --> 01:11:20,915
I think it's the best idea you've ever had.
1176
01:11:22,454 --> 01:11:24,183
- No.
- Yes.
1177
01:11:24,289 --> 01:11:25,688
- No.
- Yes!
1178
01:11:25,790 --> 01:11:27,382
- No.
- Yes!
1179
01:11:27,492 --> 01:11:29,119
We are gonna jump in the harbor!
1180
01:11:29,227 --> 01:11:30,694
- No. No. No. No.
- Let's go.
1181
01:11:30,795 --> 01:11:32,729
God! No!
1182
01:11:32,831 --> 01:11:34,025
Let's do it!
1183
01:11:54,786 --> 01:11:56,720
Holy fuck, this is fucking cold!
1184
01:11:56,855 --> 01:11:58,823
This is the worst idea you've ever had!
1185
01:12:11,970 --> 01:12:14,996
I can't believe you finally got me naked.
1186
01:12:15,106 --> 01:12:16,767
Well, my shirt does look good on you.
1187
01:12:16,875 --> 01:12:18,536
Good, 'cause I'm keeping it.
1188
01:12:18,843 --> 01:12:21,437
No, you're not.
I can't afford to lose anymore shirts.
1189
01:12:21,546 --> 01:12:23,537
Women are always stealing my shirts.
1190
01:12:23,648 --> 01:12:25,513
Women aren't always stealing your shirts.
1191
01:12:25,617 --> 01:12:30,247
They're borrowing them, fully intending
to give them back, but you never call.
1192
01:12:30,355 --> 01:12:32,555
So, you're saying
that if I have fewer one-night stands,
1193
01:12:32,580 --> 01:12:34,155
I'll have more shirts?
1194
01:12:34,492 --> 01:12:35,823
I think so.
1195
01:12:40,232 --> 01:12:41,563
Well, then, that settles it.
1196
01:12:43,168 --> 01:12:45,033
I'm changing my ways,
1197
01:12:45,136 --> 01:12:47,832
and I'm not gonna lose anymore shirts.
1198
01:12:49,774 --> 01:12:50,934
Really?
1199
01:12:51,042 --> 01:12:52,373
Really.
1200
01:12:54,346 --> 01:12:58,407
In fact, I think I'm gonna
take this one back right now.
1201
01:12:58,516 --> 01:13:00,074
Good for you.
1202
01:13:24,709 --> 01:13:26,677
- Wait.
- It's okay, I have one.
1203
01:13:27,012 --> 01:13:28,309
No.
1204
01:13:29,381 --> 01:13:31,110
I have to slow down.
1205
01:13:33,418 --> 01:13:36,285
Okay. Okay, that's fine.
1206
01:13:40,358 --> 01:13:44,226
What if I just put it in a little bit?
It won't even count.
1207
01:13:44,329 --> 01:13:46,160
Eileen says it counts.
1208
01:13:49,334 --> 01:13:50,631
What about, like, that much?
1209
01:13:50,735 --> 01:13:52,100
That's nothing.
1210
01:13:52,203 --> 01:13:54,068
You won't even feel it.
1211
01:13:56,441 --> 01:13:59,239
Okay. I understand. That's fine.
1212
01:14:00,879 --> 01:14:03,177
But I am gonna keep kissing you.
1213
01:14:35,861 --> 01:14:36,828
Hi.
1214
01:14:36,928 --> 01:14:37,895
Hi.
1215
01:14:38,697 --> 01:14:41,393
You look so beautiful in the morning.
1216
01:14:42,300 --> 01:14:44,200
- I do?
- Yeah.
1217
01:14:52,377 --> 01:14:54,038
How's this for a slice of awesome?
1218
01:14:54,146 --> 01:14:57,638
Mexican wrestling on pay-per-view all day.
1219
01:14:57,749 --> 01:15:01,412
I will run to the store and get eggs
and salsa for huevos rancheros,
1220
01:15:01,553 --> 01:15:05,216
you stay here and whip up margaritas.
Sound good?
1221
01:15:06,425 --> 01:15:09,121
Shit! I can't! Oh, my God!
1222
01:15:10,929 --> 01:15:11,987
Cereal?
1223
01:15:12,097 --> 01:15:14,156
No! I'm meeting Daisy.
1224
01:15:14,266 --> 01:15:18,100
I'm already late.
She hates it when I'm late. Oh, no.
1225
01:15:41,660 --> 01:15:45,118
I can't believe Eddie didn't want
to pick out these place cards.
1226
01:15:45,397 --> 01:15:47,763
Oh, no, no, no.
He has terrible taste in fonts.
1227
01:15:47,899 --> 01:15:49,859
Have you convinced Mom
to come to the wedding yet?
1228
01:15:50,066 --> 01:15:51,055
No, and I don't have to,
1229
01:15:51,167 --> 01:15:53,393
because you are gonna
talk Dad out of coming.
1230
01:15:53,505 --> 01:15:55,268
- I am?
- Let's face it.
1231
01:15:55,373 --> 01:15:57,432
Dad's only coming
because he thinks that he has to.
1232
01:15:57,542 --> 01:16:00,568
So, why not just let him off the hook
and make everybody happy?
1233
01:16:00,712 --> 01:16:02,407
It's not a bad idea.
1234
01:16:02,514 --> 01:16:05,642
Oh, great! You guys can cast the
final vote. We've narrowed it down.
1235
01:16:05,751 --> 01:16:09,380
To this one, or this nearly identical one.
1236
01:16:09,488 --> 01:16:10,853
Monotype Corsiva.
1237
01:16:10,956 --> 01:16:12,787
- How do you know that?
- I'm married.
1238
01:16:12,958 --> 01:16:15,927
Okay, are we done?
Because we want to hear about D.C.
1239
01:16:16,161 --> 01:16:17,719
Did you go to the Holocaust Museum?
1240
01:16:17,829 --> 01:16:19,763
No, but that would have been more fun.
1241
01:16:19,865 --> 01:16:21,833
So, there were no sparks with Tom?
1242
01:16:21,933 --> 01:16:25,369
Tom? What happened to Jake?
I thought you were looking for Jake.
1243
01:16:25,470 --> 01:16:28,405
Jake's in Africa and Tom's gay,
but it's okay,
1244
01:16:28,507 --> 01:16:31,374
because Colin is gonna be my date
for the wedding.
1245
01:16:31,476 --> 01:16:33,410
Is that the guy
who answered your cell phone
1246
01:16:33,512 --> 01:16:36,379
and got mad at me for waking him up
at 2:00 in the afternoon?
1247
01:16:36,481 --> 01:16:38,415
Yeah. I took his phone by mistake.
1248
01:16:38,517 --> 01:16:40,644
You invited Colin? Your rapey neighbor?
1249
01:16:40,786 --> 01:16:42,219
Do we call him that?
1250
01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:43,719
Just behind your back.
1251
01:16:44,923 --> 01:16:48,950
Okay. Well, let's stop
because he's actually a pretty good guy.
1252
01:16:49,060 --> 01:16:50,186
Oh, Ally.
1253
01:16:50,629 --> 01:16:52,893
- What?
- You slept with him!
1254
01:16:53,031 --> 01:16:54,362
Oh, no!
1255
01:16:54,466 --> 01:16:56,957
I did not. I didn't.
1256
01:16:57,068 --> 01:16:58,092
Good. Don't.
1257
01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:00,280
Because he's not the kind of guy
you end up with.
1258
01:17:00,305 --> 01:17:02,739
He's the kind of guy you date
before the guy you end up with.
1259
01:17:02,841 --> 01:17:04,570
How do you know?
You haven't even met him.
1260
01:17:04,709 --> 01:17:06,700
I don't have to meet him.
I've had sex with him.
1261
01:17:06,812 --> 01:17:09,474
Except his name is Doug,
and he's a fucking liar!
1262
01:17:09,614 --> 01:17:13,106
Well, I have met him,
and he is dangerously sexy.
1263
01:17:13,218 --> 01:17:16,449
And if he wanted to come in
through the back door, you'd let him.
1264
01:17:16,922 --> 01:17:18,355
Don't let him, Ally.
1265
01:17:18,456 --> 01:17:20,356
You guys don't need to worry.
1266
01:17:20,458 --> 01:17:22,358
I'm not going to let him in any door.
1267
01:17:22,460 --> 01:17:25,258
He's just a friend who's doing me a favor.
1268
01:17:52,357 --> 01:17:54,382
Honey, I'm home.
1269
01:17:56,228 --> 01:18:00,221
So, I TiVo-ed Mexican wrestling for you
and I cooked.
1270
01:18:00,332 --> 01:18:03,358
They're supposed to be taquitos,
they look like cannolis,
1271
01:18:03,468 --> 01:18:06,733
but they kind of taste like egg rolls.
1272
01:18:06,838 --> 01:18:09,329
What are you doing?
Are you working on the diner? All right.
1273
01:18:10,709 --> 01:18:12,472
Don't let me bug you.
1274
01:18:18,917 --> 01:18:23,650
Hey, so, just out of curiosity,
did you ever hear anything from Jake?
1275
01:18:25,056 --> 01:18:26,080
Nope.
1276
01:18:28,760 --> 01:18:31,593
Really? Not a phone call? Nothing?
1277
01:18:32,330 --> 01:18:33,661
Nope.
1278
01:18:36,501 --> 01:18:38,366
Okay, well,
1279
01:18:38,470 --> 01:18:42,338
I'm kind of busy right now,
so I guess I'll just see you later.
1280
01:18:43,408 --> 01:18:45,171
Shit! Ally, wait.
1281
01:18:45,377 --> 01:18:46,571
- Wait, wait.
- Just go.
1282
01:18:46,678 --> 01:18:48,038
I don't want to hear anymore lies.
1283
01:18:48,063 --> 01:18:49,606
All right, yes. Jake is back in town
1284
01:18:49,714 --> 01:18:52,239
and I do have his number,
but I didn't think that mattered now.
1285
01:18:52,350 --> 01:18:53,681
Would you please just go?
1286
01:18:53,785 --> 01:18:55,218
What about last night?
1287
01:18:55,320 --> 01:18:57,720
I think we should just forget
about last night.
1288
01:18:57,822 --> 01:18:59,722
- Because of Jake?
- No.
1289
01:19:01,493 --> 01:19:05,361
Because you're not the kind of guy
I'm supposed to end up with.
1290
01:19:06,898 --> 01:19:08,627
What kind of guy am I, Ally?
1291
01:19:11,536 --> 01:19:14,376
You're the kind of guy you date
before you meet the guy you end up with,
1292
01:19:14,401 --> 01:19:16,198
and I've already dated 20 of you.
1293
01:19:21,546 --> 01:19:23,426
So, you're gonna try
and make it work with Jake,
1294
01:19:23,451 --> 01:19:26,581
a guy you haven't seen in years,
just so you don't go over the number 20?
1295
01:19:26,718 --> 01:19:28,549
It's not just
about a number anymore, okay?
1296
01:19:28,653 --> 01:19:30,746
- Well, then what is it?
- It's what I want!
1297
01:19:30,855 --> 01:19:32,255
You don't know what you want, Ally.
1298
01:19:32,590 --> 01:19:35,070
You're so busy trying to be
what everyone else wants you to be,
1299
01:19:35,178 --> 01:19:36,270
you don't know who you are.
1300
01:19:36,380 --> 01:19:38,461
At least I have relationships.
1301
01:19:38,596 --> 01:19:42,191
You can't even hang out with a woman
for 24 hours without sleeping with her.
1302
01:19:42,300 --> 01:19:44,495
That was true until I met you.
1303
01:19:47,806 --> 01:19:52,175
Well, I'm sure that if we had slept
together, you'd be long gone by now,
1304
01:19:52,277 --> 01:19:56,373
because that's who you are, Colin,
and that's who you'll always be.
1305
01:19:59,017 --> 01:20:02,453
All right. Whatever you say, Ally.
You obviously have it all figured out.
1306
01:20:05,590 --> 01:20:07,455
And I do know who I am!
1307
01:20:07,559 --> 01:20:11,791
I'm someone who's not gonna let another
undeserving asshole into my heart!
1308
01:20:11,896 --> 01:20:13,659
Or my vagina!
1309
01:20:13,765 --> 01:20:15,357
Shut the fuck up!
1310
01:20:15,500 --> 01:20:16,489
Stop fucking your dog!
1311
01:20:43,358 --> 01:20:46,589
Hi, Jake Adams, it's Ally.
1312
01:20:46,995 --> 01:20:50,829
Ally Darling from high school. Go, Vikings.
1313
01:20:53,001 --> 01:20:54,468
I came across your number,
1314
01:20:54,603 --> 01:20:59,131
and I thought,
"I should really call Jake"
1315
01:20:59,241 --> 01:21:03,940
"and leave him a long, rambling message
on his voice mail."
1316
01:21:06,047 --> 01:21:11,781
Anyway, if you're feeling up to it,
you can give me a call anytime.
1317
01:21:11,887 --> 01:21:14,378
My number is 617-55...
1318
01:21:15,624 --> 01:21:19,287
Oh, my God, I just hiccupped. I'm sorry.
1319
01:21:20,161 --> 01:21:21,423
617-55...
1320
01:21:23,131 --> 01:21:25,156
All right. Okay...
1321
01:21:25,267 --> 01:21:27,827
My number is 617-555-0192. Okay, bye.
1322
01:21:33,208 --> 01:21:36,302
Well, who doesn't call that girl back?
1323
01:21:43,118 --> 01:21:44,142
Not again.
1324
01:21:44,619 --> 01:21:46,109
Who's the surprise guest this time?
1325
01:21:46,221 --> 01:21:47,464
I was supposed to have lunch with Dad
1326
01:21:47,489 --> 01:21:49,099
to tell him that he didn't have to come
to the wedding,
1327
01:21:49,124 --> 01:21:50,734
but then he said he was
gonna bring his girlfriend.
1328
01:21:50,759 --> 01:21:51,748
- Jacinda?
- Yeah.
1329
01:21:51,860 --> 01:21:54,540
And I just couldn't have that conversation
with him in front of her.
1330
01:21:54,647 --> 01:21:56,945
So, I just thought, you know,
we could do it together.
1331
01:21:57,049 --> 01:22:00,193
I am never meeting you
for another meal ever again.
1332
01:22:01,036 --> 01:22:02,697
You don't mean that.
1333
01:22:03,405 --> 01:22:05,839
Ally, I didn't know you were coming.
What a nice surprise.
1334
01:22:05,941 --> 01:22:07,101
- Hi.
- I'm Daisy.
1335
01:22:07,208 --> 01:22:10,177
Got all my girls here.
I see that you've got one of these, too.
1336
01:22:10,278 --> 01:22:12,598
I got a couple for the two of us,
so we can text and tweet.
1337
01:22:12,847 --> 01:22:15,782
You should follow me on Twitter,
"VeryTerry3."
1338
01:22:16,151 --> 01:22:18,119
Or we could just talk right now.
1339
01:22:18,219 --> 01:22:19,652
LOL.
1340
01:22:20,956 --> 01:22:24,448
He is so excited about your wedding.
It's all he can text about.
1341
01:22:24,559 --> 01:22:27,119
I can't wait for everyone to meet my lady.
1342
01:22:28,463 --> 01:22:30,556
You're coming to the wedding, too?
1343
01:22:30,665 --> 01:22:33,600
That's great. That's so great.
1344
01:22:33,702 --> 01:22:37,138
- Ally, isn't that so great?
- It's great. It's so great.
1345
01:22:41,309 --> 01:22:42,537
Excuse me for a second.
1346
01:22:43,345 --> 01:22:45,836
- Don't go.
- We are just fine.
1347
01:22:49,084 --> 01:22:51,052
Hold up. Ashton is getting his car washed.
1348
01:22:51,419 --> 01:22:52,852
- Nuh.
- Lookit.
1349
01:22:57,792 --> 01:23:00,022
I am a human rocket
1350
01:23:00,128 --> 01:23:02,562
On a mission of deployment
1351
01:23:02,664 --> 01:23:04,689
I've been cocked and loaded
1352
01:23:04,799 --> 01:23:06,858
Ready for the culmination
1353
01:23:06,968 --> 01:23:09,198
I am a human missile
1354
01:23:09,304 --> 01:23:11,169
Guided by a secret agenda
1355
01:23:11,272 --> 01:23:13,866
That commands
my every thoughts and deeds
1356
01:23:13,975 --> 01:23:16,068
And wills me on my way
1357
01:23:20,548 --> 01:23:22,778
I am a human rocket
1358
01:23:22,884 --> 01:23:25,318
On a mission of redemption
1359
01:23:25,420 --> 01:23:27,081
I've been cocked and loaded
1360
01:23:27,188 --> 01:23:29,622
Primed by everything I know
1361
01:23:29,724 --> 01:23:31,954
I am a human missile
1362
01:23:32,060 --> 01:23:33,925
Guided by a secret voice
1363
01:23:34,029 --> 01:23:36,463
That commands
my every thoughts and deeds
1364
01:23:36,564 --> 01:23:39,192
And wills me on my righteous way
1365
01:24:38,927 --> 01:24:40,121
All right. Great.
1366
01:24:41,663 --> 01:24:42,823
Ally.
1367
01:24:43,598 --> 01:24:44,587
Jake.
1368
01:24:45,834 --> 01:24:48,564
My brothers actually went more
into the business side of things,
1369
01:24:48,670 --> 01:24:51,867
and when my dad asked me
to run the foundation,
1370
01:24:51,973 --> 01:24:54,703
it was sort of more of a natural fit
for me, you know?
1371
01:24:54,809 --> 01:24:57,505
I've always been better
at giving away money versus making it.
1372
01:24:57,612 --> 01:24:59,637
I'm rambling.
I can hear myself totally rambling.
1373
01:24:59,747 --> 01:25:00,990
- No. No, no, not at all.
- I am. I am.
1374
01:25:01,015 --> 01:25:03,643
- I've been doing it all day.
- Kind of, but it's interesting.
1375
01:25:03,751 --> 01:25:05,311
Hey, what do... I mean, what about you?
1376
01:25:05,336 --> 01:25:07,379
Last I heard you were in marketing, right?
1377
01:25:07,489 --> 01:25:11,323
Yeah. I'm actually
in between jobs right now.
1378
01:25:11,459 --> 01:25:12,539
Well, listen, say the word.
1379
01:25:12,627 --> 01:25:15,147
I mean, I can get you an interview
over at Adams in two seconds.
1380
01:25:15,172 --> 01:25:16,329
Thank you.
1381
01:25:16,431 --> 01:25:19,192
But you know what? I'm actually...
I'm thinking about making a change.
1382
01:25:19,217 --> 01:25:21,879
A change? Oh, yeah? What would you do?
1383
01:25:22,871 --> 01:25:25,772
I make these clay sculptures.
1384
01:25:25,874 --> 01:25:28,775
They're sort of
these freaky little urban scenes.
1385
01:25:29,344 --> 01:25:32,279
They're kind of hard to explain.
I'd really have to show you.
1386
01:25:32,780 --> 01:25:34,247
I'd love to see them.
1387
01:25:35,717 --> 01:25:37,309
Really?
1388
01:25:37,418 --> 01:25:39,283
They're in my shower.
1389
01:25:40,688 --> 01:25:42,451
Then I guess we're done here.
1390
01:25:48,530 --> 01:25:50,623
See. This is where they dry.
1391
01:25:50,765 --> 01:25:52,630
They really are in your shower.
1392
01:25:52,734 --> 01:25:54,099
Yep.
1393
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:14,280
Did I tell you that he speaks
four different languages,
1394
01:26:14,422 --> 01:26:15,912
but he's so not obnoxious about it?
1395
01:26:16,024 --> 01:26:20,222
And he's still so goddamn handsome,
and he smells so fucking good.
1396
01:26:20,328 --> 01:26:21,420
It's crazy.
1397
01:26:21,529 --> 01:26:24,498
He's taking me to a gala
at the Institute of Contemporary Art,
1398
01:26:24,599 --> 01:26:26,464
and then I think we're going to go...
1399
01:26:26,568 --> 01:26:29,264
That's not your dress.
1400
01:26:29,370 --> 01:26:32,203
Yeah. Yeah, I know, I just...
1401
01:26:32,307 --> 01:26:34,741
Yeah, I just like this one better,
'cause there's just...
1402
01:26:34,842 --> 01:26:37,572
You know, it's more comfortable.
There's just more room to...
1403
01:26:37,679 --> 01:26:41,809
To eat and to move, and to... To dance.
1404
01:26:41,916 --> 01:26:43,110
Okay.
1405
01:26:43,218 --> 01:26:45,345
I couldn't breathe in my other dress!
1406
01:26:45,453 --> 01:26:48,513
A bride should be able to breathe
in her own fucking dress!
1407
01:26:48,623 --> 01:26:52,821
Sorry, I just am feeling
really stressed out right now
1408
01:26:52,927 --> 01:26:56,761
because I don't know how
I'm going to convince Mom
1409
01:26:56,898 --> 01:26:58,525
to come to my wedding,
1410
01:26:58,633 --> 01:27:01,659
because our dad
is bringing our new mommy,
1411
01:27:01,769 --> 01:27:03,066
- and she's not...
- Stop.
1412
01:27:03,171 --> 01:27:07,767
I will go with you to talk to Mom,
and you don't even have to trick me. Okay?
1413
01:27:07,875 --> 01:27:11,106
Now, are you sure you can breathe
in this dress?
1414
01:27:12,847 --> 01:27:14,542
Okay, then do that.
1415
01:27:17,151 --> 01:27:18,641
It's really not gonna be that bad.
1416
01:27:18,753 --> 01:27:20,983
We're gonna loosen her up.
We're gonna ease into it.
1417
01:27:21,089 --> 01:27:22,579
It's gonna be great.
1418
01:27:22,690 --> 01:27:24,419
If you say so.
1419
01:27:25,426 --> 01:27:26,825
Mom?
1420
01:27:28,997 --> 01:27:30,328
I don't believe you!
1421
01:27:30,632 --> 01:27:32,552
When were you planning
to tell me about all this?
1422
01:27:34,282 --> 01:27:37,479
- Now?
- That's why we're here, Mom.
1423
01:27:37,585 --> 01:27:40,577
I have to read about it in a magazine?
1424
01:27:40,855 --> 01:27:42,550
You and Jake Adams.
1425
01:27:44,092 --> 01:27:45,320
Are you an item?
1426
01:27:46,995 --> 01:27:48,053
Yes?
1427
01:27:49,430 --> 01:27:51,125
Did you just squeal, Mom?
1428
01:27:51,399 --> 01:27:54,766
I don't know.
I'm out of my body right now.
1429
01:27:55,403 --> 01:27:56,563
Is it serious?
1430
01:27:57,605 --> 01:27:59,835
It could be, but we're taking it slow.
1431
01:27:59,941 --> 01:28:01,772
Do you really have that luxury?
1432
01:28:01,876 --> 01:28:03,571
I want to make sure that it's right.
1433
01:28:03,745 --> 01:28:06,009
It doesn't get any more right
than Jake Adams.
1434
01:28:06,114 --> 01:28:09,208
This is your life, Ally,
don't get creative.
1435
01:28:09,317 --> 01:28:11,649
When I saw you two in that magazine,
1436
01:28:11,753 --> 01:28:14,381
I went and found some old photographs.
1437
01:28:15,523 --> 01:28:17,286
Just look at this.
1438
01:28:19,360 --> 01:28:21,328
I knew he was the one.
1439
01:28:23,931 --> 01:28:27,628
Tell me, Ally,
is he gonna be your date to the wedding?
1440
01:28:29,470 --> 01:28:30,869
Is he, Ally?
1441
01:28:35,743 --> 01:28:36,732
Yes.
1442
01:28:39,080 --> 01:28:41,241
I got to get the seating chart.
1443
01:28:41,349 --> 01:28:43,613
So, you're still gonna come to the wedding,
1444
01:28:43,718 --> 01:28:45,481
even though Dad's gonna be there, too?
1445
01:28:45,586 --> 01:28:46,985
Of course, darling.
1446
01:28:47,121 --> 01:28:49,385
My baby only gets married once.
1447
01:28:49,624 --> 01:28:50,750
Right?
1448
01:28:52,093 --> 01:28:54,084
I am so proud of my girls.
1449
01:28:57,198 --> 01:28:59,359
Seating chart. Seating chart.
1450
01:28:59,467 --> 01:29:00,991
Where's the little seating chart?
1451
01:29:01,102 --> 01:29:02,967
Do we tell her about Jacinda?
1452
01:29:03,104 --> 01:29:05,732
No. I think we quit while we're ahead.
1453
01:29:06,307 --> 01:29:08,070
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Mom.
1454
01:29:08,176 --> 01:29:09,143
What?
1455
01:29:09,711 --> 01:29:10,973
And get you drunk
1456
01:29:11,079 --> 01:29:14,606
So I can have my wicked way with you
1457
01:29:15,216 --> 01:29:16,877
I'm just being honest
1458
01:29:16,984 --> 01:29:22,217
'Cause I know the other guys are
thinking just the same way too
1459
01:29:25,293 --> 01:29:28,160
I really love Japan.
1460
01:29:28,262 --> 01:29:30,196
Really?
1461
01:29:32,967 --> 01:29:34,847
- Are those mini cheeseburgers?
- Yes, they are.
1462
01:29:34,872 --> 01:29:36,601
May I? Thank you.
1463
01:29:37,905 --> 01:29:39,429
You didn't want one?
1464
01:29:39,607 --> 01:29:41,632
No, I'm okay. Thank you.
1465
01:29:42,443 --> 01:29:45,344
These are excellent
mini cheeseburgers.
1466
01:29:46,314 --> 01:29:48,544
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you.
1467
01:29:50,718 --> 01:29:53,551
Show me some skin
I might bite it
1468
01:29:54,522 --> 01:29:58,458
I wanna have my wicked way with you
1469
01:30:02,497 --> 01:30:07,992
So I'm not gonna come over
and meet your mom and dad
1470
01:30:08,102 --> 01:30:10,434
They know that I was bad
1471
01:30:10,638 --> 01:30:13,801
I'm just thinking of
three hours or more
1472
01:30:13,941 --> 01:30:18,310
So I can have my wicked way with you
1473
01:30:19,814 --> 01:30:24,615
My wicked way with you
1474
01:30:31,726 --> 01:30:34,286
- Colin, hi.
- Hi.
1475
01:30:35,730 --> 01:30:39,461
Fancy meeting you here, dressed all fancy.
1476
01:30:39,567 --> 01:30:40,898
Where you off to?
1477
01:30:42,036 --> 01:30:43,503
A wedding.
1478
01:30:43,604 --> 01:30:46,402
You, too, right? Today's Daisy's big day.
1479
01:30:47,475 --> 01:30:49,306
Yeah.
1480
01:30:49,410 --> 01:30:53,437
You're going to a wedding, too.
That's weird.
1481
01:30:53,548 --> 01:30:54,572
Whose wedding?
1482
01:30:56,684 --> 01:30:58,345
Nobody you know.
1483
01:31:01,289 --> 01:31:04,690
Is it like a date or something?
Are you seeing somebody?
1484
01:31:07,061 --> 01:31:09,120
Don't worry about it, Ally.
1485
01:31:16,204 --> 01:31:18,468
Don't drink too much champagne.
1486
01:31:44,565 --> 01:31:46,396
Hey, is my hair too high?
1487
01:31:46,501 --> 01:31:47,832
Oh, no, honey. It's perfect.
1488
01:31:47,935 --> 01:31:49,994
- Is it going on?
- The dress doesn't fit.
1489
01:31:50,104 --> 01:31:51,662
- Okay.
- Why isn't it zipped?
1490
01:31:51,772 --> 01:31:53,399
Can I get some help here?
1491
01:31:53,508 --> 01:31:55,738
Where's my Croissan' Wich?
1492
01:31:55,843 --> 01:31:57,243
Did somebody eat my Croissan' Wich?
1493
01:31:57,278 --> 01:31:59,610
No, honey. Nobody did.
You just relax, okay?
1494
01:31:59,714 --> 01:32:01,394
Katie, Jamie, find Daisy's Croissan' Wich.
1495
01:32:01,419 --> 01:32:03,080
- Okay. On it.
- Got it. Okay.
1496
01:32:03,918 --> 01:32:05,010
Okay, listen,
1497
01:32:05,119 --> 01:32:07,417
- I don't want anyone to panic but...
- What's happening?
1498
01:32:07,522 --> 01:32:09,615
- The harpist isn't coming.
- I had a harpist?
1499
01:32:09,724 --> 01:32:12,235
She broke her finger during the
philharmonic softball league playoffs,
1500
01:32:12,260 --> 01:32:14,737
and given that this is one of the
busiest wedding weekends of the year,
1501
01:32:14,762 --> 01:32:16,122
all the other harpists are booked.
1502
01:32:16,297 --> 01:32:17,992
Oh, Christ. Why is this happening to me?
1503
01:32:18,099 --> 01:32:20,459
I got a list of all
the other weddings happening in the city
1504
01:32:20,566 --> 01:32:23,606
and found a replacement who can be here
as soon as her first wedding is over.
1505
01:32:23,631 --> 01:32:26,435
And if she doesn't show, I play the horn.
1506
01:32:27,041 --> 01:32:28,702
Now let's get this girl married?
1507
01:32:30,444 --> 01:32:31,934
Daise, I got it.
1508
01:32:56,537 --> 01:32:59,005
Please rise for the bride.
1509
01:33:07,081 --> 01:33:09,106
We are gathered here today
to celebrate the union
1510
01:33:09,216 --> 01:33:11,946
of Daisy Ann Darling
and Edward Michael Vogel.
1511
01:33:12,587 --> 01:33:16,148
Getting to know Daisy and Eddie
has reinforced my belief that,
1512
01:33:16,257 --> 01:33:17,815
while love is universal,
1513
01:33:17,925 --> 01:33:20,120
every couple is unique.
1514
01:33:27,168 --> 01:33:30,467
Daisy Darling,
today I make these vows to you.
1515
01:33:31,339 --> 01:33:33,307
I will never rhyme "crazy" with "Daisy,"
1516
01:33:35,242 --> 01:33:37,574
Even if I mean, like, "crazy good."
1517
01:33:38,179 --> 01:33:40,409
I will not blow my nose in the shower.
1518
01:33:42,583 --> 01:33:46,144
I promise to always consult you
before getting a haircut
1519
01:33:46,253 --> 01:33:47,686
and to never grow a mustache.
1520
01:33:49,023 --> 01:33:50,456
- Or a soul patch.
- No.
1521
01:33:54,295 --> 01:33:57,526
I will not blame you for the bad decisions
you make in my dreams.
1522
01:34:01,569 --> 01:34:07,337
I will keep an eye on
that suspicious freckle on your back,
1523
01:34:07,441 --> 01:34:10,171
even though I'm really sure it's nothing.
1524
01:34:11,078 --> 01:34:15,777
And I will not get mad at you
about everything
1525
01:34:16,751 --> 01:34:20,209
when I'm only really mad at you
about one thing.
1526
01:34:24,358 --> 01:34:25,620
By the power vested in me,
1527
01:34:25,726 --> 01:34:27,956
I am happy to pronounce you
husband and wife.
1528
01:34:28,062 --> 01:34:29,552
You may kiss the bride.
1529
01:34:31,132 --> 01:34:37,537
I'm holding a heart here in my hand
1530
01:34:37,638 --> 01:34:42,769
Hey, hey, hey
1531
01:34:43,344 --> 01:34:48,304
My own work of art
1532
01:34:48,416 --> 01:34:50,884
Here where I stand
1533
01:34:50,985 --> 01:34:56,218
Hey, hey, hey
1534
01:35:03,197 --> 01:35:07,657
I can see clearly now
The rain is gone
1535
01:35:10,971 --> 01:35:14,236
I can see all obstacles in my way
1536
01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:16,366
- Quite a party.
- Yeah, it sure is.
1537
01:35:16,477 --> 01:35:18,843
Hold on. I have to tweet about this.
1538
01:35:18,946 --> 01:35:20,937
And hi there.
1539
01:35:25,252 --> 01:35:27,584
Your mom always did have a great laugh.
1540
01:35:27,722 --> 01:35:29,952
I'm just glad she's happy.
1541
01:35:30,057 --> 01:35:31,820
Are you happy?
1542
01:35:31,926 --> 01:35:33,723
Yeah. Of course.
1543
01:35:39,734 --> 01:35:41,702
Your mom only wants
what's best for you, you know.
1544
01:35:41,802 --> 01:35:42,791
I know.
1545
01:35:42,903 --> 01:35:46,202
Unfortunately, she thinks what's best
for you is being exactly like her,
1546
01:35:46,307 --> 01:35:47,365
only you're not, Ally.
1547
01:35:47,475 --> 01:35:50,535
You may have her looks,
but you have my rhythm, kid.
1548
01:35:50,644 --> 01:35:52,441
I'm afraid it's a little offbeat.
1549
01:35:54,048 --> 01:35:57,017
I guess that explains
why she's always disappointed in me.
1550
01:35:57,351 --> 01:36:00,218
I think it's hard for her to look at you
and see so much of me.
1551
01:36:05,392 --> 01:36:08,987
Thanks for the time
1552
01:36:09,430 --> 01:36:11,227
That you've given me
1553
01:36:11,332 --> 01:36:13,391
May I?
1554
01:36:14,268 --> 01:36:15,599
Why not?
1555
01:36:15,703 --> 01:36:17,864
Thank you. Thank you, sir.
1556
01:36:20,741 --> 01:36:23,101
God, I'm sorry. I just couldn't slow-dance
with your mother.
1557
01:36:23,177 --> 01:36:25,407
No, that's okay.
1558
01:36:27,615 --> 01:36:30,880
I think the last time we slow-danced
was prom night.
1559
01:36:30,985 --> 01:36:33,647
Yeah. Yeah, it was. I remember that.
1560
01:36:33,754 --> 01:36:37,315
I believe that was also the night
where you finally gave me the honor
1561
01:36:37,424 --> 01:36:40,860
of making you unfit
for every other man in the village.
1562
01:36:42,663 --> 01:36:44,187
Oh, boy.
1563
01:36:44,298 --> 01:36:47,665
You're once, twice
1564
01:36:49,870 --> 01:36:53,033
Three times a lady
1565
01:36:53,140 --> 01:36:56,667
I know this isn't the ideal place to
tell you, but I want to be honest.
1566
01:36:56,777 --> 01:36:58,267
You weren't my first.
1567
01:36:59,346 --> 01:37:00,643
I wasn't?
1568
01:37:00,748 --> 01:37:02,644
No, I'm sorry.
1569
01:37:02,750 --> 01:37:07,244
Well, so you've been
with two guys in your life. Big deal.
1570
01:37:08,923 --> 01:37:11,084
More like two times 10.
1571
01:37:11,892 --> 01:37:16,989
Right. Like you've had sex
with 20 guys. Yuck.
1572
01:37:18,699 --> 01:37:20,223
Gross.
1573
01:37:23,003 --> 01:37:28,566
Well, all right. I may not have been
your first, but maybe I'll be your last.
1574
01:37:29,343 --> 01:37:31,436
Why? Are you gonna rape and kill me?
1575
01:37:31,545 --> 01:37:33,843
No, but I'm gonna kiss you.
1576
01:37:35,115 --> 01:37:38,346
With every beat
1577
01:37:38,452 --> 01:37:43,446
Of my heart
1578
01:37:44,258 --> 01:37:45,384
You're once
1579
01:37:45,492 --> 01:37:46,754
Come with me for a second.
1580
01:37:46,861 --> 01:37:48,226
Twice
1581
01:37:50,030 --> 01:37:52,555
Three times a lady
1582
01:37:53,868 --> 01:37:58,896
So, how does dinner in Milan
and breakfast in Paris sound?
1583
01:37:59,006 --> 01:38:00,337
Starchy.
1584
01:38:00,441 --> 01:38:02,521
I've got to do a little traveling
for the foundation,
1585
01:38:02,546 --> 01:38:03,986
and I'd love it if you came with me.
1586
01:38:05,446 --> 01:38:07,004
Seriously?
1587
01:38:07,681 --> 01:38:10,013
- For how long?
- Six months.
1588
01:38:10,117 --> 01:38:12,813
I know it sounds like a long time,
but you're in-between jobs
1589
01:38:12,920 --> 01:38:16,617
and your little sculpture things can wait.
1590
01:38:16,891 --> 01:38:19,931
And if you think about it, the only thing
that's keeping you in Boston is me,
1591
01:38:19,956 --> 01:38:21,583
and I'm leaving.
1592
01:38:23,297 --> 01:38:24,696
It's time.
1593
01:38:27,268 --> 01:38:28,758
Excuse me.
1594
01:38:31,639 --> 01:38:32,697
Thank you.
1595
01:38:32,806 --> 01:38:39,336
And I love you
1596
01:38:43,384 --> 01:38:44,874
Join me.
1597
01:38:45,452 --> 01:38:46,817
Hi, everyone.
1598
01:38:46,921 --> 01:38:48,650
Hi.
1599
01:38:49,990 --> 01:38:52,720
When Daisy and Eddie
first got together,
1600
01:38:52,826 --> 01:38:55,818
I have to admit I was a
little bit nervous.
1601
01:38:56,597 --> 01:38:58,462
I could tell that it was serious,
1602
01:38:58,565 --> 01:39:01,728
and I thought that
the closer she got to him,
1603
01:39:01,835 --> 01:39:04,531
the further away she'd get from me,
1604
01:39:04,638 --> 01:39:07,072
but that didn't happen.
1605
01:39:09,076 --> 01:39:11,601
Not only do I see more of Daisy,
1606
01:39:11,712 --> 01:39:14,840
I see a happier, even better Daisy.
1607
01:39:19,853 --> 01:39:21,787
It's like with Eddie she's
1608
01:39:25,459 --> 01:39:26,790
completely herself.
1609
01:39:44,078 --> 01:39:48,811
When you're a big sister, it's your job
to teach your little sister everything.
1610
01:39:50,084 --> 01:39:52,075
How to ride a bike,
1611
01:39:52,686 --> 01:39:54,586
how to lie to your parents.
1612
01:39:55,289 --> 01:39:56,278
How to kiss.
1613
01:39:56,390 --> 01:39:58,110
Not with tongue.
Settle down, Uncle Charlie.
1614
01:40:02,029 --> 01:40:04,429
But I never thought
1615
01:40:06,500 --> 01:40:09,799
about what my little sister
could teach me until right now.
1616
01:40:11,005 --> 01:40:13,405
So, I want to thank you, Daisy.
1617
01:40:14,008 --> 01:40:16,738
Thank you for teaching me
1618
01:40:18,645 --> 01:40:22,638
that being in love
means being yourself.
1619
01:40:27,521 --> 01:40:28,988
To Daisy and Eddie!
1620
01:40:35,162 --> 01:40:36,629
- You were great.
- Can we talk?
1621
01:40:36,764 --> 01:40:38,527
Yeah. Absolutely.
1622
01:40:41,769 --> 01:40:43,498
That's the way,
1623
01:40:43,637 --> 01:40:45,901
I like it,
1624
01:40:46,006 --> 01:40:47,735
That's the way,
1625
01:40:47,841 --> 01:40:49,832
I like it,
1626
01:40:50,044 --> 01:40:51,807
That's the way,
1627
01:40:51,912 --> 01:40:53,209
Oh, shit.
1628
01:40:55,049 --> 01:40:57,244
What's going on? Are you okay?
1629
01:41:00,287 --> 01:41:05,816
Jake, there actually is something here
in Boston that's really important to me.
1630
01:41:06,260 --> 01:41:10,321
And as much as I want to travel the world,
1631
01:41:10,431 --> 01:41:12,956
I'm not sure I want to do it with you.
1632
01:41:13,067 --> 01:41:16,127
Which is insane, I know,
because you're perfect.
1633
01:41:17,171 --> 01:41:19,435
But you're not perfect for me,
1634
01:41:19,540 --> 01:41:22,771
and I don't think I'm perfect for you.
1635
01:41:24,044 --> 01:41:26,274
I'm so sorry, Jake.
1636
01:41:26,380 --> 01:41:29,372
If I had been honest with myself earlier,
1637
01:41:29,483 --> 01:41:31,348
or ever,
1638
01:41:31,452 --> 01:41:33,317
I wouldn't have put you through all this.
1639
01:41:33,454 --> 01:41:36,321
Yeah, well,
that would have been preferable.
1640
01:41:37,791 --> 01:41:40,624
Right. I don't think I'm gonna
stick around for the cake. Excuse me.
1641
01:41:41,995 --> 01:41:43,587
It's really good.
1642
01:41:58,645 --> 01:42:00,112
Okay.
1643
01:42:05,486 --> 01:42:07,920
Where's... Where's Jake going?
1644
01:42:08,088 --> 01:42:10,488
- Sir, champagne?
- He's leaving.
1645
01:42:10,591 --> 01:42:13,685
What? In the middle of the reception? Why?
1646
01:42:13,794 --> 01:42:16,456
Because I never should have
brought him here in the first place.
1647
01:42:17,297 --> 01:42:20,095
You're gonna let him go?
1648
01:42:20,200 --> 01:42:22,828
Oh, Ally, I... I don't understand you.
1649
01:42:23,036 --> 01:42:25,800
Ally, why? Why are you doing this?
1650
01:42:25,906 --> 01:42:28,500
Honey, you were finally happy.
1651
01:42:28,609 --> 01:42:32,010
No! You were finally happy.
1652
01:42:32,112 --> 01:42:34,080
I don't wanna marry Jake Adams.
1653
01:42:34,214 --> 01:42:36,045
- That's not who I am.
- Oh, my...
1654
01:42:36,150 --> 01:42:39,449
I'm a jobless whore
who's slept with 20 guys,
1655
01:42:39,553 --> 01:42:42,886
and I want to be with somebody
who appreciates that about me.
1656
01:42:44,091 --> 01:42:46,992
You may not understand me, Mom,
but you don't have to.
1657
01:42:47,794 --> 01:42:49,455
All you have to do is love me.
1658
01:42:51,999 --> 01:42:55,662
I know that I'm not perfect,
but that's why you have Daisy.
1659
01:42:55,769 --> 01:42:58,237
My dress is too tight
because I'm four months pregnant.
1660
01:43:01,241 --> 01:43:03,675
- What?
- What?
1661
01:43:07,347 --> 01:43:08,405
You're pregnant?
1662
01:43:08,849 --> 01:43:10,874
Yes. Now get out of here.
1663
01:43:10,984 --> 01:43:12,884
Thank you.
1664
01:43:12,986 --> 01:43:14,010
Surprise!
1665
01:43:14,121 --> 01:43:18,319
I'm gonna be a grandmother.
I'm gonna be a grandmother.
1666
01:43:23,297 --> 01:43:24,806
All the drinks are sitting
here on your tray.
1667
01:43:24,831 --> 01:43:26,208
What is the matter with you?
Is this too difficult?
1668
01:43:26,233 --> 01:43:27,943
Kevin, where's that list you had
of all the other weddings
1669
01:43:27,968 --> 01:43:29,848
- going on in the city today?
- It's right here.
1670
01:43:29,873 --> 01:43:30,897
Okay, thank you.
1671
01:43:40,894 --> 01:43:44,523
Goddamn. Damn it!
1672
01:44:02,483 --> 01:44:03,472
Hi.
1673
01:44:03,584 --> 01:44:04,812
Every time I think of you
1674
01:44:04,918 --> 01:44:09,048
I feel shot right through
with a bolt of blue
1675
01:44:09,156 --> 01:44:13,490
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
1676
01:44:13,594 --> 01:44:15,118
Living a life that I
can't leave behind
1677
01:44:17,998 --> 01:44:21,331
But there's no sense in telling me
1678
01:44:21,468 --> 01:44:23,068
The wisdom of the fool
won't set you free
1679
01:44:25,205 --> 01:44:27,002
But that's the way that it goes
1680
01:44:27,107 --> 01:44:29,268
And it's what nobody knows
1681
01:44:29,510 --> 01:44:33,344
Well, every day my confusion grows
1682
01:44:33,814 --> 01:44:37,250
Every time I see you falling
1683
01:44:37,618 --> 01:44:41,384
I get down on my knees and pray
1684
01:44:41,555 --> 01:44:45,616
I'm waiting for that final moment
1685
01:44:46,293 --> 01:44:47,260
Colin!
1686
01:44:58,539 --> 01:45:01,667
I feel fine and I feel good
1687
01:45:02,443 --> 01:45:05,412
I feel like I never should
1688
01:45:05,579 --> 01:45:09,310
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
1689
01:45:09,416 --> 01:45:14,080
Why can't we be ourselves
like we were yesterday?
1690
01:45:14,254 --> 01:45:17,690
Every time I see you falling
1691
01:45:18,058 --> 01:45:21,824
I get down on my knees and pray
1692
01:45:21,995 --> 01:45:26,056
I'm waiting for that final moment
1693
01:45:26,166 --> 01:45:29,727
You say the words that I can't say
1694
01:45:35,642 --> 01:45:37,633
Oh, come on!
1695
01:45:39,112 --> 01:45:42,878
Blessed be this union
and may it bear fruit.
1696
01:46:09,443 --> 01:46:12,071
Colin! Colin!
1697
01:46:21,455 --> 01:46:23,423
Blue car, keys are in it.
1698
01:46:46,813 --> 01:46:48,303
Get the fuck out of the road!
1699
01:46:48,949 --> 01:46:50,007
Hey, watch it, lady.
1700
01:46:50,417 --> 01:46:52,317
Shut up, you asshole!
1701
01:46:55,255 --> 01:46:57,416
Sorry! I'm sorry!
1702
01:46:57,991 --> 01:46:59,322
I'm sorry!
1703
01:47:13,774 --> 01:47:14,798
Thank you.
1704
01:47:14,908 --> 01:47:17,775
You can help yourself to some pepperoni.
1705
01:47:23,984 --> 01:47:25,042
Miss, your name?
1706
01:47:29,389 --> 01:47:30,378
I...
1707
01:47:35,829 --> 01:47:37,956
I'm... I'm sorry.
1708
01:47:38,765 --> 01:47:41,605
Hi, everyone. Hope you're all having
a good time tonight. I know we are.
1709
01:47:42,369 --> 01:47:45,896
This next song is a local band.
Hope you enjoy it.
1710
01:47:52,779 --> 01:47:55,009
I don't mind you coming here
1711
01:47:56,450 --> 01:47:58,441
And wasting all my time
1712
01:48:00,237 --> 01:48:02,762
'Cause when you're
standing oh, so near
1713
01:48:04,040 --> 01:48:05,632
I kind of lose my mind
1714
01:48:06,142 --> 01:48:07,439
This is bullshit.
1715
01:48:07,543 --> 01:48:10,103
Why didn't I just wait for him
at his apartment?
1716
01:48:11,014 --> 01:48:13,847
And wasting all my time
1717
01:48:16,586 --> 01:48:17,575
Fuck!
1718
01:48:18,388 --> 01:48:19,446
Fuck!
1719
01:48:19,555 --> 01:48:20,954
- Fuck!
- Fuck!
1720
01:48:22,325 --> 01:48:25,726
I don't mind you hanging out
1721
01:48:25,828 --> 01:48:27,989
And talking in your sleep
1722
01:48:29,532 --> 01:48:32,228
It doesn't matter where you've been
1723
01:48:33,102 --> 01:48:35,866
As long as it was deep Yeah
1724
01:48:37,073 --> 01:48:40,372
Always need to wear it well
1725
01:48:40,476 --> 01:48:42,740
You look so fancy, I can tell
1726
01:48:45,515 --> 01:48:46,777
I don't mind you hanging out
1727
01:48:48,084 --> 01:48:50,177
And talking in your sleep
1728
01:48:52,021 --> 01:48:55,787
I guess you're just what I needed
1729
01:48:55,892 --> 01:48:57,826
I needed someone to feed
1730
01:48:57,927 --> 01:48:59,588
Someone to...
1731
01:48:59,695 --> 01:49:01,663
I need to talk to you
1732
01:49:02,799 --> 01:49:05,393
- Right now
- I needed someone to feed
1733
01:49:09,005 --> 01:49:11,098
Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
1734
01:49:13,443 --> 01:49:15,673
Okay, everybody,
we're just gonna take a quick break.
1735
01:49:15,778 --> 01:49:18,110
Why don't we get those
toasts started?
1736
01:49:18,214 --> 01:49:21,274
So, papa bear, come on up here.
1737
01:49:27,390 --> 01:49:30,188
Hello, everyone, and thank
you all for coming out tonight...
1738
01:49:30,293 --> 01:49:34,457
Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck!
1739
01:49:37,033 --> 01:49:39,024
What are you doing here, Ally?
1740
01:49:39,135 --> 01:49:40,775
I have a speech that I wanna make to you,
1741
01:49:40,800 --> 01:49:42,863
but I was afraid that I
was gonna forget it.
1742
01:49:42,972 --> 01:49:47,636
So, I figured it would be easier
to drive, bike,
1743
01:49:47,743 --> 01:49:52,077
and run across town in my high heels
so I could tell you right now.
1744
01:49:55,084 --> 01:49:56,711
What's the speech?
1745
01:49:59,889 --> 01:50:03,325
Well, the gist of it was,
1746
01:50:04,527 --> 01:50:05,824
I'm sorry.
1747
01:50:07,497 --> 01:50:10,091
- That's it?
- No, wait, there's more.
1748
01:50:10,199 --> 01:50:11,496
I...
1749
01:50:13,669 --> 01:50:18,402
I'm happiest when I'm being myself,
and I'm myself when I'm with you.
1750
01:50:18,508 --> 01:50:19,873
That was it.
1751
01:50:20,977 --> 01:50:23,912
I guess I was just so afraid
that you were another asshole
1752
01:50:24,013 --> 01:50:26,880
that I became the biggest asshole of all.
1753
01:50:27,884 --> 01:50:30,318
You weren't an asshole. I was an asshole.
1754
01:50:30,419 --> 01:50:33,479
I should have given you Jake's number,
I just...
1755
01:50:34,657 --> 01:50:36,625
I didn't think I could compete with that.
1756
01:50:38,861 --> 01:50:40,453
There's no contest.
1757
01:50:41,631 --> 01:50:44,191
You're the most decent guy I've ever met.
1758
01:50:56,479 --> 01:50:58,743
I think I love you, 21.
1759
01:51:01,651 --> 01:51:03,209
I love you, too.
1760
01:51:05,121 --> 01:51:06,748
- Three hundred and...
- No!
1761
01:51:50,366 --> 01:51:53,767
Hey, Kelli,
Kelli with an "I." What's up?
1762
01:51:53,869 --> 01:51:55,962
It's Jay from Club Med Turkoise.
1763
01:51:56,072 --> 01:51:58,438
I got a weird message
from your assistant,
1764
01:51:58,541 --> 01:52:01,635
and I just wanted to let you know,
we never had sex.
1765
01:52:01,744 --> 01:52:05,544
You did this awkward striptease
involving maracas,
1766
01:52:05,648 --> 01:52:08,640
and then gave me a shitty hand job.
1767
01:52:08,751 --> 01:52:12,118
You claimed it was something
you like to do called "dry style,"
1768
01:52:12,221 --> 01:52:15,713
vomited in my suitcase, and
then you passed out in the shower.
1769
01:52:15,825 --> 01:52:18,089
So, yeah, we never slept together.
1770
01:52:22,999 --> 01:52:26,765
You're number 20! I'm still at 20!
1771
01:52:26,869 --> 01:52:31,272
I can't believe it! You are number 20!
1772
01:52:32,041 --> 01:52:33,372
Yes!
1773
01:52:36,078 --> 01:52:39,605
It will outlast everything
You think is set is stone
1774
01:52:39,715 --> 01:52:41,876
It goes on and on and on and on
1775
01:52:41,984 --> 01:52:43,918
On and on and on and on
1776
01:52:44,053 --> 01:52:47,750
Buzzing like neon lights
1777
01:52:47,857 --> 01:52:49,984
Can you feel my love?
1778
01:52:50,092 --> 01:52:53,653
Loud and clear Pulls you near
1779
01:52:53,963 --> 01:52:56,193
Can you feel my love?
1780
01:52:57,333 --> 01:53:01,203
We got all the memories
So much more we can see
1781
01:53:01,737 --> 01:53:05,332
Better than a first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
1782
01:53:05,441 --> 01:53:09,639
Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
1783
01:53:09,745 --> 01:53:13,772
Bob Marley in summer
One love for each other
1784
01:53:13,949 --> 01:53:15,007
It feels like...
1785
01:53:15,151 --> 01:53:18,314
Fireflies Day and night
1786
01:53:18,621 --> 01:53:21,089
Can you feel my love?
1787
01:53:23,025 --> 01:53:27,018
Everyone is looking
for a special connection
1788
01:53:27,129 --> 01:53:30,997
But it's like your compass points
a million directions
1789
01:53:31,467 --> 01:53:35,130
Do you need me to buy you
a telescope so you can see
1790
01:53:35,271 --> 01:53:38,502
How good this could be
1791
01:53:39,375 --> 01:53:42,936
Buzzing like neon lights
1792
01:53:43,245 --> 01:53:45,270
Can you feel my love?
1793
01:53:45,548 --> 01:53:49,109
Loud and clear Pulls you near
1794
01:53:49,418 --> 01:53:51,648
Can you feel my love?
1795
01:53:52,621 --> 01:53:56,751
We got all the memories
So much more we can see
1796
01:53:56,859 --> 01:54:00,625
Better than a first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
1797
01:54:00,730 --> 01:54:04,928
Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
1798
01:54:05,034 --> 01:54:09,061
Bob Marley in summer
One love for each other
1799
01:54:09,238 --> 01:54:10,296
It feels like...
1800
01:54:13,142 --> 01:54:15,610
One love for each other
1801
01:57:11,687 --> 01:57:12,654
English - US - SDH