1 00:00:28,877 --> 00:00:31,277 Welcome to Hazzard County. 2 00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:35,110 A little corner of the world where everyone knows everyone else... 3 00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:38,651 ... and people are never too busy to stop and say howdy. 4 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:43,019 Shoot, some folks even say this is where the apple pie was invented. 5 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:49,290 Yep, basically everything down here moves a little bit slower... 6 00:00:49,631 --> 00:00:55,126 ... unless, of course, your last name is Duke. 7 00:01:14,523 --> 00:01:16,582 Man, the General's in good shape. 8 00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:21,787 Bo, it's happy hour at The Boar's Nest, and we still got two deliveries to make. 9 00:01:21,964 --> 00:01:26,298 It's all one big happy hour, Luke. Besides, we're taking a shortcut. 10 00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:47,151 Hi, Luke. 11 00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:51,616 - I got this one. - You sure that's a good idea, cuz? 12 00:01:51,794 --> 00:01:53,694 It's a great idea. Come on. 13 00:01:57,499 --> 00:01:59,091 Hey, Laurie. 14 00:01:59,268 --> 00:02:02,135 - You here to make your delivery? - Well, I was hoping to. 15 00:02:02,304 --> 00:02:04,602 Luke, remember last time. 16 00:02:04,773 --> 00:02:06,468 Don't worry about it, cuz. 17 00:02:06,642 --> 00:02:09,110 It's okay, Bo. Pa ain't here. 18 00:02:09,278 --> 00:02:12,338 See, Bo? Pa ain't here. 19 00:02:14,216 --> 00:02:16,514 - Hi. - Hi. 20 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,312 Play hard to get, little buddy. 21 00:02:32,234 --> 00:02:33,997 Listen and learn, General. 22 00:02:34,169 --> 00:02:38,128 And now, side two of the Al Unser, Jr. Story: 23 00:02:38,307 --> 00:02:43,335 No Questions, Only Unsers, as read by Laurence Fishburne. 24 00:02:43,512 --> 00:02:45,571 "I'm too old for this shit. " 25 00:02:45,747 --> 00:02:48,580 That's what I was thinking as I turned into the final lap... 26 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,310 ... running fourth at Talladega. 27 00:02:51,486 --> 00:02:54,944 But then it hit me. Life is like a racetrack. 28 00:02:55,123 --> 00:02:57,751 You gotta keep going round and round. 29 00:02:57,926 --> 00:03:01,828 - That is so true. - Sure, sometimes you crash and burn. 30 00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:05,455 But if you don't make the turn, you ain't never gonna learn. 31 00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:10,669 So I gripped the wheel tighter, checked my gauges, and made my move. 32 00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:14,297 Make my move. Give you my move. Make it, mother... 33 00:03:14,476 --> 00:03:16,569 - Jesus Christ! - Howdy, Bo. 34 00:03:16,745 --> 00:03:20,647 Hey, Mr. Pullman. I nearly shit myself. 35 00:03:21,016 --> 00:03:22,984 - How you doing, sir? - Oh, I'm fine. 36 00:03:23,151 --> 00:03:25,984 You ready for that big Hazzard Rally this weekend? 37 00:03:26,154 --> 00:03:29,214 Yeah, I got him all tuned up. Right, General? 38 00:03:29,491 --> 00:03:31,516 How many times you won that, anyway? 39 00:03:31,693 --> 00:03:34,355 - Four in a row, sir. - Four in a row. 40 00:03:34,529 --> 00:03:38,829 That's good. Billy Prickett won it four in a row, and look what he's doing today. 41 00:03:39,568 --> 00:03:41,934 - Hey, you been hunting? - Yes, sir. 42 00:03:42,104 --> 00:03:44,629 Yeah, I been using those new whammy shells. 43 00:03:44,806 --> 00:03:48,139 They scatter less for when you really wanna blow a hole in something. 44 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,709 - Cool. Guns. - Yeah. 45 00:03:55,217 --> 00:03:57,777 Are you delivering all by yourself today? 46 00:03:57,953 --> 00:03:59,944 Oh, no. I never travel alone, sir. 47 00:04:00,122 --> 00:04:02,488 I like to think I travel with the man upstairs. 48 00:04:03,725 --> 00:04:05,192 You know, Jesus. 49 00:04:06,862 --> 00:04:09,422 You know, I like that attitude. 50 00:04:09,598 --> 00:04:11,896 I'm gonna look around and find a boy like you... 51 00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:14,592 ...to date my daughter, Laurie, pretty soon. 52 00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:17,739 Because she's getting curious about boys, you know. 53 00:04:17,906 --> 00:04:19,237 Yeah. 54 00:04:19,408 --> 00:04:22,104 Oh, you're talking about sex, right? 55 00:04:22,611 --> 00:04:26,047 I just wanna keep that sorry cousin of yours away from her. 56 00:04:26,214 --> 00:04:29,877 The way he looks at her galls me. You know what I mean? 57 00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:33,821 You get back here right now, you son of a bitch. 58 00:04:33,989 --> 00:04:35,684 Get back here. 59 00:04:35,857 --> 00:04:38,223 Luke! Luke! 60 00:04:38,393 --> 00:04:41,556 - Why you running, you chickenshit? - Goddamn Dukes. 61 00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:43,357 You get the hell off my sister. 62 00:04:43,532 --> 00:04:45,329 - Jimmy! - Oh, shit. 63 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:48,435 Damn you, Luke! You get back in the house! 64 00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:51,003 - Go, Bo, go! - Luke, wait! 65 00:04:51,173 --> 00:04:53,801 - Put on a shirt! - Come on, come on, come on. 66 00:04:53,976 --> 00:04:55,910 I forgot about the brother. Go! 67 00:05:00,415 --> 00:05:01,905 So happy hour? 68 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,917 - You're gonna get us shot someday. - Not today. 69 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,578 Not with you driving the getaway car. 70 00:05:09,992 --> 00:05:12,426 - So how was it? - It's never bad. 71 00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:17,392 Son of a bitch. 72 00:05:18,867 --> 00:05:20,858 Here, load up with these whammy shells. 73 00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:23,334 They'll blow a hole through an elephant's ass. 74 00:05:23,805 --> 00:05:25,636 Look out. 75 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,410 Oh, goddamn it! You're gonna replace that. 76 00:05:34,383 --> 00:05:36,476 - What's he using? - You don't wanna know. 77 00:05:36,651 --> 00:05:39,245 Dadgum it, you just assassinated a tree. 78 00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:40,979 Got a big kick to it. 79 00:05:41,156 --> 00:05:44,057 Don't you worry. They can't touch the General. Come on, boy. 80 00:05:51,466 --> 00:05:53,297 You missed, Jimmy! 81 00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:57,700 Can't you shoot straight? Don't point that thing at me, you chucklehead. 82 00:05:57,873 --> 00:06:00,467 Don't call me a chucklehead. I ain't a chucklehead. 83 00:06:01,176 --> 00:06:03,701 Hey! Get that gun out of the wheel! 84 00:06:04,346 --> 00:06:06,746 What are you doing? Hey. Hey. What the hell? 85 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,810 - Goddamn it. - I'm sorry, Daddy. 86 00:06:08,984 --> 00:06:10,884 Let's go after them. 87 00:06:12,788 --> 00:06:16,019 - Bo, did you see that sign? - I can read! 88 00:06:16,191 --> 00:06:18,284 This is how you planned on losing them? 89 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:19,950 You ain't scared, are you? 90 00:06:20,128 --> 00:06:23,154 Scared? Hell, no. I just don't wanna hear it from Uncle Jesse... 91 00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:25,595 ...when you break his bottles of shine. 92 00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:28,395 I bet you the old phone book I don't break a bottle. 93 00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:30,367 Phone book it is. 94 00:06:30,539 --> 00:06:34,202 Daddy, you get me close, and I'll put a bullet in this son of a bitch. 95 00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:39,243 Goddamn it, Jimmy! 96 00:06:39,414 --> 00:06:42,941 Who says I can't shoot? Daddy? Daddy! 97 00:07:03,371 --> 00:07:06,272 Bo and Luke Duke. 98 00:07:06,441 --> 00:07:08,841 Cousins closer than brothers. 99 00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:11,240 Both big-hearted, strong-willed... 100 00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:14,814 ... and restless as a couple of cats thrown into a swimming hole. 101 00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:43,344 Nice driving, cuz. 102 00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:48,882 What? 103 00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:55,912 - I won the bet, you son of a bitch. - Oh, come on. 104 00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:59,060 I didn't break any bottles, so I won the bet. 105 00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:06,393 - I was just joking about the bet. - Oh, you were joking? 106 00:08:06,568 --> 00:08:08,627 - Yeah. - Still getting the phone book, though. 107 00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:12,671 - Come on, double or nothing. - Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy. 108 00:08:13,808 --> 00:08:15,901 Which side you want, right side or left? 109 00:08:17,612 --> 00:08:19,671 Right. 110 00:08:19,848 --> 00:08:21,577 Did I hear one of your teeth break? 111 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,776 I don't remember the Hazzard phone book being that thick. 112 00:08:25,053 --> 00:08:27,248 This is Atlanta. 113 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:41,429 Bet was over. I can't believe that happened. I mean, the bet was over. 114 00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:43,468 - What are you doing? - Where you want it? 115 00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:47,340 - Oh, man. - Where you want it? 116 00:08:47,509 --> 00:08:48,942 Left. 117 00:08:51,012 --> 00:08:52,707 That was a good one. 118 00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:59,843 Right in the ball sack. God. 119 00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:03,516 In case of dehydration. 120 00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:11,524 That'll put lead in your pencil. 121 00:09:15,904 --> 00:09:19,237 - Man, I'm already tired of walking. - You could use a little exercise. 122 00:09:19,407 --> 00:09:21,568 Them jeans of yours look tighter than Daisy's. 123 00:09:21,743 --> 00:09:25,144 Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer I could beat you to The Boar's Nest. 124 00:09:25,313 --> 00:09:27,304 That's five miles. 125 00:09:36,124 --> 00:09:39,093 I'm coming! I'm coming! 126 00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,027 Face! 127 00:09:51,973 --> 00:09:53,941 He came back. 128 00:09:56,144 --> 00:09:58,169 What's Billy Prickett doing here? 129 00:09:58,346 --> 00:10:00,439 Well, it looks like he's here for the race. 130 00:10:02,851 --> 00:10:06,514 Man, those tires alone are worth more than the General Lee. 131 00:10:07,622 --> 00:10:11,217 My, oh, my. Look at that. Billy Prickett's car, huh? 132 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,821 What's new in law enforcement, Enos? 133 00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:17,692 - They make you lieutenant yet? - Hell, you know that'll never happen. 134 00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:20,699 Maybe one of these days you'll wise up and come work for us. 135 00:10:20,869 --> 00:10:22,666 We could use a man like you. 136 00:10:22,837 --> 00:10:26,500 I don't know. I don't think it's a good time to be in the moonshine business. 137 00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:29,701 Moonshine business? We ain't in the moonshining business. 138 00:10:31,379 --> 00:10:36,214 But if someone were in the moonshining business, why would it be a bad time? 139 00:10:36,384 --> 00:10:39,581 Now, Luke, you know I can't say anything. Boss Hogg'll tan my hide. 140 00:10:39,754 --> 00:10:41,244 He spanks you? 141 00:10:41,589 --> 00:10:43,921 Hey, Dil, what do you want? We just ordered. 142 00:10:44,092 --> 00:10:47,027 By the looks of this place, I'll take two bottles of Pepto... 143 00:10:47,195 --> 00:10:49,595 ...and a shot of penicillin, right? 144 00:10:59,541 --> 00:11:01,475 Jesus, mother of Mary. 145 00:11:04,546 --> 00:11:07,037 Look away, man. Trust me, look away. 146 00:11:07,215 --> 00:11:09,683 Don't worry about it. I won't hurt her. 147 00:11:09,851 --> 00:11:13,480 There ain't nobody in this bar concerned about you hurting her. 148 00:11:13,655 --> 00:11:15,384 All right, all right. 149 00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:22,256 Y'all ready to order? 150 00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,327 You better be reading my nametag, friend. 151 00:11:27,502 --> 00:11:31,905 I am, I am. I noticed your initials were double D. 152 00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:36,708 - Oh, sweet Jesus. - I'll give you one more chance. 153 00:11:36,878 --> 00:11:39,972 You wanna order, or you wanna sit around and make stupid jokes? 154 00:11:40,148 --> 00:11:42,446 Ain't gotta get fussy. We're having a good time. 155 00:11:42,617 --> 00:11:45,484 I'll tell you what, I'll order. We don't want no problems. 156 00:11:45,653 --> 00:11:47,883 Let's see... 157 00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:50,722 Do those legs come over easy? 158 00:11:50,992 --> 00:11:52,926 Oh, my God. 159 00:11:55,597 --> 00:11:59,089 - How about the special, sir? - Dil Driscoll! 160 00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:03,031 You stop bothering that nice girl and pick on somebody your own size. 161 00:12:03,204 --> 00:12:05,365 - Billy Prickett. - Hey, it's Billy Prickett! 162 00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,403 - Welcome home, boy. - You old mule. 163 00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,308 Hey. 164 00:12:13,248 --> 00:12:15,307 Why don't you cool off, Dil? 165 00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:20,077 - Come on, boy. Let's get out of here. - My, my, my. 166 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:24,817 Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there. That's Billy Prickett. 167 00:12:24,993 --> 00:12:26,517 Should I buy him a drink? 168 00:12:26,694 --> 00:12:29,322 Maybe you should buy him flowers and chocolates. 169 00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:33,627 Give me a Miller. Make it a Löwenbräu. 170 00:12:34,803 --> 00:12:36,794 How you doing? 171 00:12:36,971 --> 00:12:40,134 Hey, Billy Prickett. Welcome back to Hazzard. 172 00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:45,676 See, boys, I told you all the waitresses in this place was dog ugly. 173 00:12:47,048 --> 00:12:49,812 - Man. - I'm only fooling with you. 174 00:12:49,984 --> 00:12:51,542 Fellas, this is Bo Duke. 175 00:12:51,719 --> 00:12:55,780 Bo is looking to break my Hazzard Rally record. What is it now, four in a row? 176 00:12:56,090 --> 00:12:57,853 Yeah, well... 177 00:12:58,026 --> 00:13:04,124 All streaks must come to an end, Bo. I'm calling this one "the drive for five. " 178 00:13:04,299 --> 00:13:08,030 - Well, I'm looking forward to the race. - Hey, Dil! 179 00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:10,467 This is the boy who's trying to break my record. 180 00:13:10,638 --> 00:13:13,869 Oh, really? I'm Dil Driscoll, crew chief. 181 00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:15,475 - Bo-Bo, have a seat. - Really? 182 00:13:17,545 --> 00:13:20,571 So, Billy, what's it like being in the circuit? 183 00:13:20,748 --> 00:13:22,773 - Well... - Hey, Billy, join me for a drink? 184 00:13:22,951 --> 00:13:24,543 Oh, well, you sweet little thing. 185 00:13:24,719 --> 00:13:27,882 Fellas, I'm awfully thirsty all of a sudden. 186 00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:30,456 Bo-Bo, may the best man win. 187 00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:33,350 John, another round! 188 00:13:33,528 --> 00:13:37,430 So, Bo, what's the story on that little pistol over there? 189 00:13:37,699 --> 00:13:40,827 Because she gave me a ride earlier. 190 00:13:41,269 --> 00:13:43,863 Well, actually, she's my cousin. 191 00:13:44,038 --> 00:13:46,666 Oh, really? You hitting that? 192 00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:51,070 - She's my cousin. - Hopefully you're kissing cousins, right? 193 00:13:53,047 --> 00:13:55,982 - Come again? - Son, all I'm really trying to ask you... 194 00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:59,313 ...is if you shuck her corn. 195 00:14:03,124 --> 00:14:09,188 Now, there are certain things you just don't say to a Duke about another Duke. 196 00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:15,296 I'll shuck your corn! 197 00:14:17,805 --> 00:14:19,272 Excuse me a second. 198 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,135 Pick him up! Pick him up! 199 00:14:23,011 --> 00:14:25,309 Hey, hey. Can I get in on this? 200 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,742 - Yeah. - Sure. 201 00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,013 Oh, buddy. 202 00:14:38,459 --> 00:14:39,949 Here we go. 203 00:14:42,096 --> 00:14:44,496 Fifty bucks on the Dukes! 204 00:14:58,413 --> 00:15:00,881 - That makes two, Luke! - Attaboy! 205 00:15:09,057 --> 00:15:11,252 Hey, Billy Prickett! 206 00:15:11,492 --> 00:15:13,357 Careful, Bo-Bo. 207 00:15:17,131 --> 00:15:18,689 Don't hit him. That's A.J. Foyt! 208 00:15:18,866 --> 00:15:20,731 - Really? - The fourth! 209 00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:50,357 - Hey, can I hit this guy? - Kill them all! 210 00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,429 - The ribs are greasy. - The beans are cold. 211 00:16:03,544 --> 00:16:06,672 Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. 212 00:16:06,848 --> 00:16:10,511 Closest thing to law enforcement in Hazzard County. 213 00:16:10,685 --> 00:16:14,678 Rosco's been after the Duke boys since they started walking. 214 00:16:14,856 --> 00:16:17,484 Of course, some people say the boys' first steps... 215 00:16:17,659 --> 00:16:22,062 ... landed right on the sheriff's last nerve. 216 00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:39,407 Dukes. Just once you two ought to try leaving a place... 217 00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:42,378 ...in better shape than it was when you walked in. 218 00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:47,385 Oh, I think your boss can afford to replace a few broken beer mugs. 219 00:16:47,555 --> 00:16:50,524 I heard there was a little incident earlier... 220 00:16:50,692 --> 00:16:55,891 ...concerning a certain crappy orange hot rod out at the Miller farm. 221 00:16:56,297 --> 00:16:58,925 Y'all really upset some of them construction boys. 222 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,068 When I got there, they were not being gentle with your beloved piece of crap. 223 00:17:04,372 --> 00:17:06,533 What'd you do, Rosco? 224 00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:10,644 I can't say she's gonna be in real good racing shape for the rally this weekend. 225 00:17:16,117 --> 00:17:18,278 You watch yourself, hillbilly boy. 226 00:17:18,786 --> 00:17:22,688 Come on, boys. My shift's over. I'll take you over to Cooter's. 227 00:17:22,857 --> 00:17:24,654 Come on. 228 00:17:48,182 --> 00:17:50,616 Jefferson Davis Hogg... 229 00:17:50,785 --> 00:17:54,050 ... the meanest man in Hazzard County. 230 00:17:54,222 --> 00:17:58,852 He's canny as a fox, tough as a badger... 231 00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:03,492 ... and crooked as a hillbilly's smile. 232 00:18:05,199 --> 00:18:07,224 Well, Rosco. 233 00:18:09,804 --> 00:18:13,740 I see you have redecorated. 234 00:18:13,908 --> 00:18:16,968 Interesting style. What do you call it? 235 00:18:17,145 --> 00:18:20,672 - Well, sir, the Dukes... - The Dukes. 236 00:18:20,848 --> 00:18:22,975 I had a feeling. 237 00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:32,454 I've got some important things happening here this weekend. 238 00:18:32,627 --> 00:18:36,256 - Yes, sir. - Are you gonna take care of the Dukes... 239 00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:39,866 ...or am I gonna have to make other plans? 240 00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:42,832 I'm on top of it, Boss. 241 00:18:43,004 --> 00:18:45,529 That's what I'm afraid of. 242 00:18:48,643 --> 00:18:50,167 - You ready? - Is it bad? 243 00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:52,107 Not good. 244 00:18:55,783 --> 00:18:58,946 Hell, this is worse than the time you sunk it in the Tipton Swamp. 245 00:19:02,256 --> 00:19:04,451 Mostly cosmetic damage, right, Cooter? 246 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,627 - Mostly. - Yeah. 247 00:19:07,795 --> 00:19:12,391 - He's gonna be ready for the race, right? - Race? Come on, Bo. 248 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:15,058 I mean, the General doesn't race. 249 00:19:15,236 --> 00:19:17,898 The General erases the competition. 250 00:19:37,058 --> 00:19:38,389 Who does this? 251 00:19:41,028 --> 00:19:45,431 It would make a nice hat or a slipper. 252 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,161 You know what? Just leave the General here with me. I'll see if I can fix... 253 00:19:49,337 --> 00:19:52,829 I'll have it up running in no time. Meanwhile, you boys take my truck. 254 00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:55,970 What if you need to tow somebody? 255 00:19:56,143 --> 00:19:59,772 If I can't "toe" them, I'll just finger them. You know what I mean? 256 00:20:04,652 --> 00:20:10,591 Close one. Even shell-shocked, he's a better driver than you are. 257 00:20:10,758 --> 00:20:12,749 - Thanks, Cooter. - Yeah. 258 00:20:17,331 --> 00:20:18,889 Chin up. 259 00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:26,598 Daisy? 260 00:20:26,774 --> 00:20:28,867 Jesse L. Duke. 261 00:20:29,043 --> 00:20:31,841 - Uncle Jesse to you. - Daisy. 262 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:34,982 Now, Jesse's been two places in his life: 263 00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:37,447 Hazzard County and Korea. 264 00:20:37,618 --> 00:20:40,018 - Daisy? - I'm in here. 265 00:20:40,187 --> 00:20:42,348 - As far as he's concerned... - Where are you? 266 00:20:42,523 --> 00:20:43,854 I'm in the shower. 267 00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:45,515 - that's one place too many. 268 00:20:45,693 --> 00:20:47,456 Ready or not, here I come. 269 00:20:55,603 --> 00:20:58,731 - How's it looking, good looking? - Well, I fixed the vapor coils... 270 00:20:58,906 --> 00:21:02,364 ...but the boiler's still slow. You been running this around the clock? 271 00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:06,172 Them boys break more bottles than they deliver. Eight cases this month. 272 00:21:06,447 --> 00:21:09,348 Wonder where in the hell they are, anyway. 273 00:21:11,319 --> 00:21:13,344 It'll make you feel lots better. 274 00:21:15,923 --> 00:21:19,188 - Light the son of a bitch. - All right. 275 00:21:24,265 --> 00:21:26,233 I feel good. 276 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,267 All right, y'all, knock off the grab-assing over there. 277 00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:31,505 What's going on, Uncle Jesse? 278 00:21:31,672 --> 00:21:34,869 Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. 279 00:21:35,042 --> 00:21:37,033 Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. 280 00:21:37,211 --> 00:21:39,338 Guy said, "Why don't you watch where you're going. " 281 00:21:39,513 --> 00:21:42,880 The drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else. " 282 00:21:44,285 --> 00:21:46,753 Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra? 283 00:21:47,054 --> 00:21:48,646 - No. - He gets taller. 284 00:21:49,857 --> 00:21:51,484 Here's another one for you. 285 00:21:51,659 --> 00:21:54,992 How many Dukes does it take to screw up a moonshine delivery? 286 00:21:55,162 --> 00:21:57,653 Oh, yes, sorry about that, Uncle Jesse. We... 287 00:22:04,438 --> 00:22:05,735 Is that Rosco? 288 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,804 Wonder what that fat sack of shit wants. 289 00:22:09,543 --> 00:22:10,976 Come on. 290 00:22:12,513 --> 00:22:16,813 We can skip the "Hi, how are you's. " I'm here on official police business. 291 00:22:16,984 --> 00:22:19,145 Right here, sheriff. 292 00:22:22,056 --> 00:22:23,887 Oh, that's horseshit. You planted that. 293 00:22:28,896 --> 00:22:32,832 "By the power vested in me by the County of Hazzard, Georgia... 294 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,093 ...I hereby seize this property... 295 00:22:35,269 --> 00:22:38,864 ...for the crime of producing and distributing moonshine. " 296 00:22:40,274 --> 00:22:43,072 Now, Jesse, we can do this the easy way... 297 00:22:43,244 --> 00:22:45,405 ...or, of course... 298 00:22:47,782 --> 00:22:49,249 ...there's that other way. 299 00:22:49,417 --> 00:22:52,352 - Let's try the that other way first. - Now, hold on. Wait. 300 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,011 Only way I'm leaving this farm is in a wooden box. 301 00:22:55,189 --> 00:22:57,089 Well... 302 00:22:58,092 --> 00:23:00,424 Hi, Dukes. 303 00:23:02,296 --> 00:23:03,786 Hi. 304 00:23:04,965 --> 00:23:06,296 Well, now. 305 00:23:07,301 --> 00:23:08,825 Lookie there. 306 00:23:09,503 --> 00:23:14,133 Moonshining. What a shame, what a shame. 307 00:23:14,308 --> 00:23:17,471 - That ain't ours, Boss. - Really? 308 00:23:17,645 --> 00:23:19,977 You're out of here. 309 00:23:20,147 --> 00:23:22,411 This land ain't yours anymore. 310 00:23:22,583 --> 00:23:24,608 You're gonna have to live somewhere else... 311 00:23:24,785 --> 00:23:27,447 ...and you're never gonna moonshine... - Why, you prick! 312 00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:32,752 Watch out. I got my dog here, and I ain't fed him, and he's real hungry. 313 00:23:33,427 --> 00:23:36,328 Easy, Jesse. Not now. 314 00:23:39,767 --> 00:23:42,861 You boys done started a fight you can't win. 315 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:53,510 Well, you have my sympathy. Y'all take care, now. 316 00:23:58,919 --> 00:24:01,717 - Should've busted a cap in his ass. - Hell, yeah. 317 00:24:01,889 --> 00:24:04,016 Hey, easy now, boys. 318 00:24:04,191 --> 00:24:07,217 Thanks for taking us in, Pauline. We really appreciate it. 319 00:24:07,394 --> 00:24:09,191 Oh, honey, it is my pleasure. 320 00:24:09,363 --> 00:24:13,356 I left three toes in Korea for this country, and this is the thanks I get. 321 00:24:13,534 --> 00:24:16,059 I don't understand how they could just take your farm. 322 00:24:16,237 --> 00:24:18,137 They planted a still in our barn. 323 00:24:18,305 --> 00:24:23,038 They planted a still? Now, why would they need to plant a still? 324 00:24:23,210 --> 00:24:26,236 Because they're too damn dumb to find our real one. 325 00:24:26,514 --> 00:24:30,177 I was waiting on old Bill Miller up at the truck stop last night. 326 00:24:30,351 --> 00:24:34,651 He said Boss' men seized his land for some trumped-up charge too. 327 00:24:35,055 --> 00:24:39,014 Maybe it's got to do with all that construction equipment up at the Millers'. 328 00:24:39,193 --> 00:24:41,627 You wanna go up there and take a second look? 329 00:24:41,795 --> 00:24:43,729 Oh, I don't know, boys. 330 00:24:43,898 --> 00:24:45,422 Oh, now, Pauline. 331 00:24:47,635 --> 00:24:50,627 Don't worry, Uncle Jesse. We're gonna take care of it. 332 00:24:51,238 --> 00:24:53,399 You know what's gonna happen, don't you? 333 00:24:53,574 --> 00:24:56,600 Those two are gonna get themselves in trouble, end up in jail... 334 00:24:56,777 --> 00:24:59,302 ...and I'm gonna have to shake my ass to get them out. 335 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,607 That's why we love you, honey. 336 00:25:05,786 --> 00:25:09,347 - Oh, goddamn it. - Well, well, well. 337 00:25:10,658 --> 00:25:12,819 What the hell do you think you're doing? 338 00:25:12,993 --> 00:25:15,621 What's it look like? I'm building a doomsday machine... 339 00:25:15,796 --> 00:25:18,162 ...gonna aim it right up your heinie hole. 340 00:25:18,432 --> 00:25:20,662 You stupid enough to think you can fix this? 341 00:25:20,834 --> 00:25:23,234 - I'm fixing to fix it. - Oh, you fixing to fix it. 342 00:25:23,404 --> 00:25:26,373 You couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor. 343 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,631 What do you want, Rosco? 344 00:25:28,809 --> 00:25:33,940 This here vehicle, it was used in the illegal transportation of moonshine. 345 00:25:34,114 --> 00:25:35,706 Boss wants it impounded. 346 00:25:35,883 --> 00:25:38,716 It ain't running right now, and my tow truck ain't here... 347 00:25:38,886 --> 00:25:40,786 ...so unless you stick it up your ass... 348 00:25:40,955 --> 00:25:43,480 Hey, one way or another, grease monkey... 349 00:25:43,657 --> 00:25:46,649 ...tomorrow I'm auctioning off this hunk of junk. 350 00:25:46,827 --> 00:25:49,261 So y'all have a good night, now, okay? 351 00:25:52,499 --> 00:25:56,629 I got two words for you: Soap and water. 352 00:25:58,005 --> 00:26:00,166 That's three words. 353 00:26:00,341 --> 00:26:02,138 Stupid. 354 00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:11,045 Hey, man, this is Cooter. 355 00:26:11,218 --> 00:26:14,745 Round up the fellas. I got a job for them. 356 00:26:18,592 --> 00:26:20,822 Lot of equipment there for an abandoned farm. 357 00:26:20,995 --> 00:26:24,431 Yeah, and that fence went up pretty quick too, huh? 358 00:26:24,832 --> 00:26:27,824 - Let's go ditch the truck. - All right. 359 00:26:53,060 --> 00:26:56,029 Well, ain't that cute, a man taking his pig for a walk. 360 00:27:01,035 --> 00:27:02,434 Come on. 361 00:27:11,078 --> 00:27:12,875 What now? 362 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,254 Lookie here, Bo. 363 00:27:22,790 --> 00:27:26,590 He's got our farm marked, right next to the Millers' and the Robinsons'. 364 00:27:27,928 --> 00:27:31,125 What the hell does he want with all this land? 365 00:27:31,298 --> 00:27:33,425 I don't know. 366 00:27:34,635 --> 00:27:38,594 But I tell you what, if I was incriminating information... 367 00:27:38,772 --> 00:27:41,935 ...I'd be hiding in that big, huge son of a bitch. 368 00:27:42,309 --> 00:27:45,472 - How are we supposed to open that? - I don't know about you... 369 00:27:45,646 --> 00:27:48,410 ... but I'd sure hate to be that safe right now. 370 00:27:48,849 --> 00:27:50,578 Yeah! 371 00:28:04,164 --> 00:28:07,156 Holy shit. 372 00:28:17,945 --> 00:28:19,776 Hope they got e-mail. 373 00:28:32,659 --> 00:28:34,559 Oh, dear. 374 00:28:45,172 --> 00:28:47,140 What the hell? 375 00:28:51,078 --> 00:28:52,477 It's stuck on a pole. 376 00:28:52,846 --> 00:28:55,371 I'll check it. 377 00:29:08,228 --> 00:29:11,391 - Give it some gas! - Okay! 378 00:29:17,471 --> 00:29:21,669 - Hey, give it a little more gas! - Okay! 379 00:29:21,842 --> 00:29:25,073 - Hey, Bo, hold up! - Okay! 380 00:29:25,446 --> 00:29:27,209 Hey! No, Bo! No! 381 00:29:27,381 --> 00:29:29,212 Okay! 382 00:29:31,351 --> 00:29:34,013 - Yeah! - Bo! 383 00:29:35,756 --> 00:29:38,554 - No, Bo! - Sorry, cuz. 384 00:29:38,725 --> 00:29:40,556 You'd do the same thing to me. 385 00:29:40,727 --> 00:29:42,558 Bo! 386 00:29:48,535 --> 00:29:50,503 Bo, damn it! 387 00:29:51,772 --> 00:29:53,706 Hold on, little buddy! 388 00:29:57,878 --> 00:29:59,937 Oh, shit! 389 00:30:07,054 --> 00:30:08,521 Bo, you son of a... 390 00:30:28,442 --> 00:30:32,503 I said, no, Bo. No! 391 00:30:35,048 --> 00:30:38,347 I thought you said, "Go, Bo. Go. " 392 00:30:38,519 --> 00:30:40,453 You see how that sounds kind of..? 393 00:30:44,358 --> 00:30:47,521 Hey, you know what? Sheev lives near here. 394 00:30:47,694 --> 00:30:49,753 Maybe he can help us open this thing up, huh? 395 00:30:50,697 --> 00:30:52,460 Yeah. 396 00:30:53,967 --> 00:30:56,561 Okay. We'll go to Sheev's. 397 00:31:05,512 --> 00:31:08,811 Rosco, this here's Chip. 398 00:31:08,982 --> 00:31:11,246 You might wanna call Hogg... 399 00:31:11,418 --> 00:31:16,185 ...and tell him them two fellers, they made off with his safe. 400 00:31:16,356 --> 00:31:19,484 And I might need a ride too. 401 00:31:24,498 --> 00:31:27,467 Boss, what kind of mood you in? 402 00:31:27,668 --> 00:31:30,831 I'm in a crawfish-boiling mood. 403 00:31:31,872 --> 00:31:36,309 Well, it seems that the Duke boys... 404 00:31:36,476 --> 00:31:38,967 ...have stolen your safe. 405 00:31:43,984 --> 00:31:47,283 I am officially upgrading the Dukes... 406 00:31:47,454 --> 00:31:52,255 ...from "fly in my ointment" to "thorn in my side. " 407 00:31:52,426 --> 00:31:56,988 And if they happen to elevate themselves to "pain in my ass"... 408 00:31:57,164 --> 00:32:02,192 ...then I'm gonna boil you. Got it? 409 00:32:02,369 --> 00:32:04,701 - Yes, sir. - Now... 410 00:32:04,871 --> 00:32:08,864 ...I want you to find the Dukes and lock them up. 411 00:32:09,042 --> 00:32:13,479 Oh, and bring me my damn safe back. 412 00:32:13,647 --> 00:32:15,444 Yes, sir. 413 00:32:20,287 --> 00:32:21,584 Flash. 414 00:32:34,001 --> 00:32:35,593 Evening, Sheev. 415 00:32:38,171 --> 00:32:39,798 Sheev. 416 00:32:48,582 --> 00:32:52,382 I'm looking for them Duke boys. You seen them? 417 00:32:54,688 --> 00:32:57,816 They was last seen heading up this road here. 418 00:32:59,626 --> 00:33:03,153 You still got them CIA mind probes stuck in your head, boy? 419 00:33:03,330 --> 00:33:05,924 Far as I know. 420 00:33:06,099 --> 00:33:09,068 Good. Keep your little antennae up there... 421 00:33:09,236 --> 00:33:12,865 ...in case you see the Dukes, you let me know, you hear? 422 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,632 Yeah. 423 00:33:17,611 --> 00:33:19,909 Stinks out here, you know that? 424 00:33:32,159 --> 00:33:34,184 - Is he gone, Sheev? - He's gone. 425 00:33:43,570 --> 00:33:45,697 - Prickett, Prickett. - It means a lot to me... 426 00:33:45,872 --> 00:33:47,999 ... to be invited here back to my hometown. 427 00:33:48,175 --> 00:33:50,336 I hope to remind the good people of Hazzard... 428 00:33:50,510 --> 00:33:54,276 - ... what it feels like to be proud again. - We love you, Billy! 429 00:33:54,648 --> 00:33:58,584 And I hope to remind the good people of Hazzard to come out to the rally... 430 00:33:58,752 --> 00:34:01,243 ... and cheer their favorite son, Billy Prickett! 431 00:34:03,657 --> 00:34:06,251 And I'm declaring today Billy Prickett Day. 432 00:34:08,095 --> 00:34:10,359 You're too kind. I just hope, come Saturday... 433 00:34:10,530 --> 00:34:13,090 ... I'm not too hazardous on the roads. 434 00:34:14,501 --> 00:34:16,401 "Hazardous on the roads. " 435 00:34:16,737 --> 00:34:19,297 - This one's for you! - This is Tammy Arinder... 436 00:34:19,473 --> 00:34:21,941 ... at the parade, for WCNU News. 437 00:34:22,109 --> 00:34:24,270 Seeing Billy Prickett race in person? 438 00:34:24,444 --> 00:34:27,174 That might be worth putting my pants on for. 439 00:34:27,347 --> 00:34:30,316 - Bo, you racing on Saturday? - I'm planning on it. 440 00:34:30,584 --> 00:34:32,711 What's the prize for second place? 441 00:34:34,488 --> 00:34:36,251 Gonna be good. Tough one, good luck. 442 00:34:36,423 --> 00:34:39,051 It's a little weird he's coming back here to race. 443 00:34:39,226 --> 00:34:43,322 Life's weird, Luke. Someday you're gonna have to accept that. 444 00:34:46,333 --> 00:34:49,666 Well, okay. Let's take a look at that lockbox. 445 00:34:51,238 --> 00:34:53,763 Oh, yeah. Liberty 400. 446 00:34:54,241 --> 00:34:57,267 High-density, 9200-psi composite material. 447 00:34:57,444 --> 00:34:59,776 Two-inch chrome bolts, vertical and horizontal. 448 00:34:59,946 --> 00:35:03,712 And a spring-loaded, independent relocking device, with a foreign body. 449 00:35:03,884 --> 00:35:07,251 - She's a beauty. - Can you crack it? 450 00:35:07,420 --> 00:35:09,888 I'm gonna do more than crack it. 451 00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:13,052 Goddamn it. 452 00:35:17,597 --> 00:35:21,727 Armadillo. They've been infiltrating my perimeter all summer. 453 00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:25,360 - The hell you do with them? - I make helmets. 454 00:35:25,539 --> 00:35:29,407 Armadillo helmets can block even the best brain-wave scanners. 455 00:35:29,576 --> 00:35:31,737 Make a pretty good soup bowl too. 456 00:35:31,912 --> 00:35:34,745 So okay. I'm gonna go to work on this thing. 457 00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:38,749 While I do, would you be a dear, Bo, and go grab me that armadillo? 458 00:35:41,855 --> 00:35:43,686 Thanks. 459 00:35:45,091 --> 00:35:47,184 Man, he looks pissed off. 460 00:35:49,095 --> 00:35:52,292 Come on, y'all! That was a good one. 461 00:35:52,732 --> 00:35:55,496 All right, maybe you could take it off now. 462 00:35:55,802 --> 00:35:58,532 Got a real nice deal on this stuff. Government issue. 463 00:35:58,705 --> 00:36:02,266 Only expired about six months ago, so should have a real nice pop. 464 00:36:03,243 --> 00:36:05,803 Yeah! Cooter's got the General running. 465 00:36:06,513 --> 00:36:09,778 - Might be able to race on Saturday. - Really? 466 00:36:09,950 --> 00:36:13,181 We gotta get it out of there tonight. Rosco wants to impound it. 467 00:36:13,353 --> 00:36:15,378 Watch your ass, fellas. 468 00:36:21,995 --> 00:36:24,429 This is the fastest-burning fuse you got, Sheev? 469 00:36:24,598 --> 00:36:26,361 It's a Chinese fuse. 470 00:36:39,312 --> 00:36:41,576 - Might be a wet fuse. - Well, should we check it? 471 00:36:41,748 --> 00:36:44,581 Depends if you like how your face is configured, pretty boy. 472 00:36:44,751 --> 00:36:46,446 I think you got the wires backwards. 473 00:36:46,620 --> 00:36:49,020 They're supposed to be. It's a Chinese fuse. 474 00:36:49,189 --> 00:36:51,384 No, backwards from how they're supposed to be. 475 00:36:51,558 --> 00:36:54,152 You ever been to China? Have you ever been to China? 476 00:36:54,327 --> 00:36:55,760 I ate Chinese food once. 477 00:36:55,929 --> 00:36:58,454 Well, you don't blow up mu shu pork, my friend. 478 00:36:58,632 --> 00:37:00,156 I dated a Korean girl in school. 479 00:37:00,333 --> 00:37:02,893 That is a different Oriental nation. Get an education. 480 00:37:03,069 --> 00:37:05,503 - You got the fuse wrong. - You know nothing about... 481 00:37:05,672 --> 00:37:08,300 ...Chino-Sino-American relations. - You're missing the point. 482 00:37:19,953 --> 00:37:21,853 Might've used too much. 483 00:37:25,659 --> 00:37:28,093 Man, that rattled my sphincter. 484 00:37:32,098 --> 00:37:35,033 What the hell is that? Drugs? 485 00:37:35,201 --> 00:37:36,896 Don't look like no drugs I ever saw. 486 00:37:37,237 --> 00:37:41,196 - What the hell are these numbers? - It's a core sample. 487 00:37:41,541 --> 00:37:45,944 Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample, send it to the lab, see what they got. 488 00:37:46,112 --> 00:37:48,171 - Core samples of what? - How should I know? 489 00:37:48,348 --> 00:37:52,182 Am I wearing a white coat here? I cut bait and blow shit up for a living. 490 00:37:52,352 --> 00:37:56,345 - Take it to a lab. - I don't know, maybe at the university? 491 00:37:56,523 --> 00:38:00,357 - Katie-Lynn Johnson's at the university. - Oh, yeah, that's right. 492 00:38:00,527 --> 00:38:03,325 Man, I always had a thing for that girl. 493 00:38:03,496 --> 00:38:06,863 Remember she used to come by the farm with those tight little outfits? 494 00:38:07,033 --> 00:38:10,696 - No, I can't say I remember that. - I thought I had her too. 495 00:38:10,870 --> 00:38:14,772 Then she pulled a goddamn Keyser Soze on me, and like that... 496 00:38:14,941 --> 00:38:16,533 ...she was gone. 497 00:38:16,710 --> 00:38:18,871 You don't remember that? 498 00:38:19,045 --> 00:38:20,410 Well, okay. 499 00:38:20,580 --> 00:38:24,277 Unless you need something else blown, I'll go inside and wash my mongoose. 500 00:38:27,487 --> 00:38:29,250 Okay. 501 00:38:30,223 --> 00:38:32,691 Come on, Luke. Let's get the General. 502 00:38:32,959 --> 00:38:35,223 Why don't we have Cooter stash that. 503 00:38:35,395 --> 00:38:37,454 We'll take his truck, head to the highway... 504 00:38:37,630 --> 00:38:42,090 How would you feel if the General and I went to Atlanta and left you behind? 505 00:39:09,529 --> 00:39:11,156 Ain't she a Georgia peach? 506 00:39:11,331 --> 00:39:13,492 What'd you do, make a deal with the devil? 507 00:39:13,867 --> 00:39:16,700 Luke. Luke. Is that a Hemi? 508 00:39:18,938 --> 00:39:21,907 Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg reenactment every other Sunday. 509 00:39:22,075 --> 00:39:24,236 So we figured, why not let General Lee win one? 510 00:39:24,711 --> 00:39:27,305 I don't know how we're gonna pay you back, Cooter. 511 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:31,109 Would a BJ from Daisy be within the realm of possibility? 512 00:39:31,284 --> 00:39:33,184 Not gonna happen. 513 00:39:33,353 --> 00:39:36,186 How about a pair of her still-warm shorts? 514 00:39:36,356 --> 00:39:37,721 All right. 515 00:39:37,891 --> 00:39:41,554 Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally. That's thanks enough. 516 00:39:41,728 --> 00:39:45,858 And when you get that prize money, you pay me, because that's how it works. 517 00:39:46,032 --> 00:39:48,262 I love you, Cooter. 518 00:39:50,236 --> 00:39:52,830 - I didn't have time to fix everything. - Right. 519 00:39:55,542 --> 00:39:57,510 Let's get that car. 520 00:40:24,404 --> 00:40:27,567 Get in your cars and get them! Get after them! Now! 521 00:40:27,740 --> 00:40:29,833 Cooter! 522 00:40:35,482 --> 00:40:37,347 All right. 523 00:40:38,885 --> 00:40:41,581 That's so good, man. 524 00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:46,124 Enough. 525 00:40:46,292 --> 00:40:50,251 Man, I'm never gonna get out of this car again. I'm gonna live in it. 526 00:40:50,430 --> 00:40:53,228 I'm gonna eat in it. And I'm gonna make sweet love to it. 527 00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,668 You mean you gonna make sweet love in it. 528 00:40:55,835 --> 00:40:57,427 Oh, no, I wanna fuck it. 529 00:40:57,604 --> 00:41:00,334 All units, we are in hot pursuit of them Duke boys... 530 00:41:00,507 --> 00:41:03,943 ...in their piece-of-shit orange car. 531 00:41:06,679 --> 00:41:08,442 "Piece of... " You son of a bitch. 532 00:41:27,467 --> 00:41:29,094 Hey! Get back here! 533 00:41:29,335 --> 00:41:32,202 - Lost Sheep, you out there? - Hey, Cooter. 534 00:41:32,372 --> 00:41:35,808 These fellas ain't gonna be doing much chasing. 535 00:41:35,975 --> 00:41:39,035 - Thanks, man. - I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett. 536 00:41:39,212 --> 00:41:40,907 How about we go to Atlanta first? 537 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,605 All right, cuz. 538 00:41:45,919 --> 00:41:49,946 Oh, look at that. There's your problem right there. 539 00:41:50,123 --> 00:41:51,488 Yeah, that's a shame. 540 00:41:53,626 --> 00:41:56,094 Let's go to Atlanta. 541 00:42:05,939 --> 00:42:07,907 Luke. 542 00:42:08,074 --> 00:42:09,803 Luke. 543 00:42:11,244 --> 00:42:16,181 I know why it didn't work out with me and Katie before. It was just timing. 544 00:42:16,349 --> 00:42:18,977 Life is all about timing, you know? 545 00:42:19,285 --> 00:42:22,812 It's my time now. I'm gonna win that race on Saturday. 546 00:42:22,989 --> 00:42:26,720 We're gonna get the farm back. I got my BFF, you. 547 00:42:27,694 --> 00:42:30,527 And I'm gonna get Katie Johnson, you watch. 548 00:42:34,901 --> 00:42:37,028 It's my time. 549 00:42:38,404 --> 00:42:41,771 What's going on? 550 00:42:44,544 --> 00:42:49,277 Yeah, baby! Southern by the grace of God! 551 00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,279 Well, at least we know they're nice up here. 552 00:42:55,521 --> 00:42:59,082 Hurry up, you're late for your Klan meeting, asshole. 553 00:42:59,259 --> 00:43:01,819 - Klan meeting? - Don't listen to her. 554 00:43:01,995 --> 00:43:05,396 The South will rise again. 555 00:43:05,565 --> 00:43:07,829 Yee-haw, brother! 556 00:43:08,001 --> 00:43:10,060 What the hell's wrong with these people? 557 00:43:10,236 --> 00:43:13,433 Nice roof, redneck. Join us in the 21st century? 558 00:43:21,881 --> 00:43:24,645 We're gonna make some friends up here, huh? 559 00:43:33,860 --> 00:43:36,488 Oh, excuse me. Can I help you, ma'am? 560 00:43:36,663 --> 00:43:38,494 Daisy! Oh, boy. 561 00:43:38,665 --> 00:43:41,065 Enos, what's Boss doing taking all that land? 562 00:43:41,234 --> 00:43:45,432 I don't know. They won't tell me. You gotta go. I'm supposed to arrest you. 563 00:43:45,605 --> 00:43:48,301 - Come on, I'm serious. - Get. Get out of here. 564 00:43:48,474 --> 00:43:51,637 Hey. You Anus? 565 00:43:52,211 --> 00:43:54,179 No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett. 566 00:43:55,915 --> 00:43:59,248 Sorry about that. Is Hogg around? He asked me to come by. 567 00:43:59,419 --> 00:44:03,879 Oh, yeah. He's out back in the garage, Mr. Prickett. 568 00:44:05,291 --> 00:44:07,555 Well, howdy, ma'am. How are you today? 569 00:44:07,727 --> 00:44:10,093 It's just right on out back there. I'll show you. 570 00:44:10,263 --> 00:44:13,198 Yep, head out that way. 571 00:44:16,202 --> 00:44:18,363 There you go. 572 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,340 There he is. 573 00:44:22,508 --> 00:44:24,476 - Hometown hero. - Hogg. 574 00:44:24,644 --> 00:44:26,339 - How you doing, son? - Well... 575 00:44:26,512 --> 00:44:29,777 ...this is a great place to crap, but I'm ready to head to Atlanta. 576 00:44:29,949 --> 00:44:31,348 Not before the race. 577 00:44:31,684 --> 00:44:33,845 Don't you worry about that. 578 00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:37,421 I want you down at that finish line. Sign autographs for the kids. 579 00:44:37,590 --> 00:44:39,524 - Yeah, I know the drill. - I know you do. 580 00:44:39,692 --> 00:44:42,684 But I need you there for two hours, son. Two hours. 581 00:44:42,862 --> 00:44:44,989 Kissing hands and shaking babies. 582 00:44:45,164 --> 00:44:48,827 You got that backwards. It's shaking hands and kiss the babies. 583 00:44:49,001 --> 00:44:52,960 Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why I lost that governor's election in '86. 584 00:44:57,677 --> 00:44:59,770 Hogg, what the hell am I doing here? 585 00:44:59,946 --> 00:45:01,914 Rosco. 586 00:45:04,984 --> 00:45:07,748 Whoa, what is this? You off the reservation? 587 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,684 See how it kind of catches me around the eyes there? 588 00:45:10,857 --> 00:45:14,156 Look here, I already got sponsors. 589 00:45:14,327 --> 00:45:17,125 What am I supposed to tell Castrol, Yahoo!? 590 00:45:17,296 --> 00:45:19,730 Tell them it's for charity. 591 00:45:19,899 --> 00:45:22,163 - Is it? - Sure. Could be. 592 00:45:23,469 --> 00:45:27,098 Whatever you say. I'm gonna win that race by a mile. 593 00:45:27,273 --> 00:45:29,833 It don't matter whose face is on my car when I do. 594 00:45:30,009 --> 00:45:35,242 I don't need you to win the race. I just need you to show up. 595 00:45:48,361 --> 00:45:50,795 Hey there, Mr. Prickett. 596 00:45:50,963 --> 00:45:53,397 Well, hello, Daisy. 597 00:45:53,566 --> 00:45:58,697 I was just walking by, and I saw your car in the garage there. She's real sexy. 598 00:45:58,871 --> 00:46:02,204 Well, thank you. She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine. 599 00:46:02,375 --> 00:46:04,138 Yeah, I know. 600 00:46:04,310 --> 00:46:07,040 Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg on your car, though? 601 00:46:07,213 --> 00:46:09,340 - Yeah, well, he... - I read somewhere... 602 00:46:09,515 --> 00:46:15,215 ...that Coca-Cola pays you over $ 100,000 to put their logo on your door. 603 00:46:15,388 --> 00:46:17,117 - You read that? - That same article... 604 00:46:17,290 --> 00:46:20,123 ...mentioned that Budweiser pays you over $ 100,000... 605 00:46:20,293 --> 00:46:22,921 ...to put their logo on your trunk. - Look, Daisy... 606 00:46:23,095 --> 00:46:25,996 ...I'm not much of a reader. - Boss Hogg's face is sitting... 607 00:46:26,165 --> 00:46:29,828 ...on over $200,000 worth of real estate. 608 00:46:30,136 --> 00:46:31,535 Is that what he's paying you? 609 00:46:31,704 --> 00:46:36,334 Oh, no, no, Daisy, this race here is for charity. 610 00:46:36,509 --> 00:46:38,500 Really? Which one? 611 00:46:40,346 --> 00:46:41,870 Anal bifida. 612 00:46:42,048 --> 00:46:43,709 Spinal bifida. 613 00:46:44,050 --> 00:46:45,608 It's one of the bifidas. 614 00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:51,554 Have I told you that you're as purty as a Hazzard County sunset? 615 00:46:51,724 --> 00:46:54,955 Have a good day, Mr. Prickett. 616 00:46:55,127 --> 00:46:57,493 Okay. 617 00:47:15,181 --> 00:47:17,672 Lot of smart people out there. 618 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,001 Look out, Katie. 619 00:47:46,379 --> 00:47:48,574 Hello. Hi. 620 00:47:48,915 --> 00:47:50,405 - Hello. - Hello. 621 00:47:50,583 --> 00:47:53,711 - Oh, boy. - Hi. 622 00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:58,747 You don't think it's too late to take them SATs, do you? 623 00:48:02,895 --> 00:48:05,523 You gotta keep an open mind in college. 624 00:48:07,266 --> 00:48:10,531 This is it, Luke. I can feel it. 625 00:48:10,703 --> 00:48:13,263 Hey, do you know where Katie Johnson is? 626 00:48:13,439 --> 00:48:15,304 I think she's in that room right there. 627 00:48:15,474 --> 00:48:17,465 - Thanks. - Thank you. 628 00:48:20,279 --> 00:48:22,770 - I got a great opening line for Katie. - What is it? 629 00:48:22,949 --> 00:48:24,712 You'll see. 630 00:48:24,884 --> 00:48:27,751 - Katie Johnson? - She's down the hall. 631 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:31,447 - Cool. - Come on, down the hall. 632 00:48:34,193 --> 00:48:36,320 Katie Johnson? 633 00:48:36,495 --> 00:48:39,760 - She's down the hall. - Do you guys go to school here? 634 00:48:40,766 --> 00:48:42,961 No, but do you have an application? 635 00:48:43,502 --> 00:48:44,901 Not on me. 636 00:48:46,739 --> 00:48:49,105 Come on, now, focus. 637 00:48:54,447 --> 00:48:56,347 Let's hope she's not in here either. 638 00:48:56,515 --> 00:48:59,313 - Katie Johnson? - Fuck me running! 639 00:48:59,819 --> 00:49:02,720 - You looking for Katie? - We were. 640 00:49:03,089 --> 00:49:05,922 - You guys Hacky? - Hacky! 641 00:49:06,092 --> 00:49:09,220 - What about Katie? - Maybe she's in here. 642 00:49:16,268 --> 00:49:18,793 Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke. 643 00:49:19,170 --> 00:49:21,001 I guess she wasn't in there. 644 00:49:21,172 --> 00:49:23,766 - We didn't check under the couch. - Luke! Bo! 645 00:49:23,942 --> 00:49:26,069 - Katie. - Katie-Lynn. 646 00:49:30,482 --> 00:49:32,609 So he's still doing that? 647 00:49:34,152 --> 00:49:37,019 - Did I just faint? - No. 648 00:49:37,188 --> 00:49:39,452 Oh, my God. I can't believe y'all came. 649 00:49:40,492 --> 00:49:43,427 We just wanna pay you visit, the prettiest girl in Atlanta. 650 00:49:43,795 --> 00:49:45,626 What? 651 00:49:45,797 --> 00:49:49,289 We just wanna pay a visit to the prettiest girl in Atlanta. 652 00:49:49,467 --> 00:49:52,527 That's sweet. I can't believe what happened to y'all's farm. 653 00:49:52,704 --> 00:49:54,296 We're gonna get it back. 654 00:49:54,472 --> 00:49:57,305 I love that farm. I used to have so much fun there. 655 00:49:57,909 --> 00:49:59,604 - See? - This is my roommate, Annette. 656 00:49:59,778 --> 00:50:02,303 - Annette, this is Bo and Luke. - Nice to meet you. 657 00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,711 - Ma'am. - Annette's from Australia. 658 00:50:06,017 --> 00:50:09,248 Let's put another shrimp on the barbie! 659 00:50:12,490 --> 00:50:14,822 - That's what they say there. - Okay. 660 00:50:14,993 --> 00:50:16,961 What do y'all need in the geology lab? 661 00:50:17,128 --> 00:50:19,824 It has something to do with them taking our farm... 662 00:50:19,998 --> 00:50:22,626 ...but we don't know what the hell it is. 663 00:50:24,169 --> 00:50:27,002 I don't know that they'll let y'all in, but we'll take you. 664 00:50:27,172 --> 00:50:30,437 - We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs. - We're gonna wait here. 665 00:50:30,609 --> 00:50:32,804 Downstairs is fine. 666 00:50:36,414 --> 00:50:39,406 It's happening, Luke. It's all happening. 667 00:50:48,193 --> 00:50:49,956 I'll give you that, Jesse. 668 00:50:50,128 --> 00:50:53,154 - I'll give you that. - Will you now? 669 00:50:54,265 --> 00:50:57,098 What are you doing with my land, Jefferson? 670 00:50:57,869 --> 00:50:59,928 Ain't your land anymore. 671 00:51:00,472 --> 00:51:03,839 Wasn't that long ago you was a moonshiner too. Remember? 672 00:51:04,009 --> 00:51:05,909 Well, I have reformed from my sins. 673 00:51:06,077 --> 00:51:08,602 I am now an honest businessman. 674 00:51:08,780 --> 00:51:10,509 Like sponsoring racecars? 675 00:51:10,715 --> 00:51:13,912 What are you getting out of bringing Billy Prickett down here? 676 00:51:15,587 --> 00:51:19,580 You know, your nephew's won that race four years in a row. 677 00:51:19,758 --> 00:51:23,421 Now, who's gonna fault me for breaking up a dynasty? 678 00:51:23,595 --> 00:51:25,688 Well, I know you're rich, and I know you stink. 679 00:51:25,864 --> 00:51:27,695 But you ain't stinking rich. 680 00:51:27,866 --> 00:51:30,130 You wouldn't be throwing that money at Prickett... 681 00:51:30,301 --> 00:51:32,963 ...unless you thought he was gonna earn you 10 times that. 682 00:51:33,138 --> 00:51:37,939 You're a smart man. So why don't you do the smart thing. 683 00:51:38,109 --> 00:51:41,135 Why don't you take your family and leave. 684 00:51:41,312 --> 00:51:44,907 Because, see, now I own that farm. 685 00:51:45,083 --> 00:51:48,541 And you ain't never gonna get it back. 686 00:52:00,265 --> 00:52:03,166 I have all the cards, Jesse. 687 00:52:03,334 --> 00:52:05,029 You don't have spit. 688 00:52:05,503 --> 00:52:07,596 It ain't over yet. 689 00:52:12,377 --> 00:52:15,471 Hey, Bo, I love your car. She really rumbles. 690 00:52:15,747 --> 00:52:18,477 It's actually a he. Right, Katie? 691 00:52:25,390 --> 00:52:26,982 I ain't even speeding. 692 00:52:44,943 --> 00:52:47,241 You know how fast you were going? 693 00:52:47,412 --> 00:52:52,213 - What? - How fast you were going. 694 00:52:53,118 --> 00:52:55,951 - I don't know. Ten? - Eight. 695 00:52:56,121 --> 00:53:01,149 - Isn't the speed limit 10? - Yeah. It is. 696 00:53:01,626 --> 00:53:04,117 You guys police? 697 00:53:04,295 --> 00:53:05,922 Campus police. 698 00:53:12,570 --> 00:53:14,595 Mother of God. 699 00:53:23,581 --> 00:53:25,105 Oh, wait. 700 00:53:35,593 --> 00:53:39,620 I know it's a shame to hide your beauty like this, but it's for your own good. 701 00:53:39,798 --> 00:53:41,197 What? 702 00:53:41,766 --> 00:53:44,064 I'm not even gonna respond to that. That's crazy. 703 00:53:44,369 --> 00:53:48,203 I know, I'll miss you too. I'll be right back. 704 00:53:48,773 --> 00:53:51,606 All right, let's go. Let's go. 705 00:53:57,148 --> 00:54:01,482 Katie-Lynn seems like a girl you could settle down with, don't you think, Luke? 706 00:54:01,653 --> 00:54:03,416 - Yeah. - I don't know, fellas. 707 00:54:03,588 --> 00:54:05,852 I don't think they're gonna let us walk in. 708 00:54:06,024 --> 00:54:10,688 You'll think of something, Katie. You always do. Remember that..? 709 00:54:10,862 --> 00:54:13,490 Oh, you're so pretty. 710 00:54:25,243 --> 00:54:27,768 I have an idea. 711 00:54:34,752 --> 00:54:38,153 - Can I help you? - You're just the guy we're looking for... 712 00:54:38,323 --> 00:54:40,052 - Royce. - Royce..? 713 00:54:40,225 --> 00:54:43,956 - Royce Williams. - Royce Williams, maybe you can help us. 714 00:54:44,128 --> 00:54:49,259 We're here looking for the brightest young geologists for high-paying jobs. 715 00:54:49,434 --> 00:54:50,924 Maybe you've been by our booth. 716 00:54:51,102 --> 00:54:54,435 - You're from Kamasaka Technologies? - That's right. 717 00:54:54,606 --> 00:54:58,440 I'm Mr. Ichinowa, and this is my colleague... 718 00:54:58,610 --> 00:55:00,100 ...Yoko Takanoshi. 719 00:55:01,713 --> 00:55:03,044 Right on. 720 00:55:03,848 --> 00:55:05,645 You said you were Japanese? 721 00:55:06,217 --> 00:55:07,445 We converted. 722 00:55:09,087 --> 00:55:12,579 Your professor tells us you're some kind of super-genius or something. 723 00:55:12,757 --> 00:55:16,955 - Really? On my last test I got a C-minus. - Hey, that's good. 724 00:55:17,128 --> 00:55:20,188 - That's real good. - You think..? 725 00:55:20,365 --> 00:55:22,663 You just might be Kamasaka Tech material. 726 00:55:23,268 --> 00:55:25,600 You just gotta pass this one little test. 727 00:55:25,770 --> 00:55:29,570 You just tell us what this is right here. 728 00:55:29,807 --> 00:55:32,071 Looks like a core sample. 729 00:55:32,243 --> 00:55:35,371 - Man, that's good. - He's good. 730 00:55:35,546 --> 00:55:39,141 - Core sample of what? - Oh, of course. 731 00:55:55,767 --> 00:55:58,565 - What are you doing? - What? 732 00:55:58,736 --> 00:56:02,900 - What the fuck was that? - Relax. 733 00:56:12,317 --> 00:56:14,114 Damn! Damn! 734 00:56:14,585 --> 00:56:16,280 These are my good Levi's. 735 00:56:16,454 --> 00:56:18,547 Let's not lose focus here, Royce. 736 00:56:18,723 --> 00:56:20,281 Yes, sir, Mr. Takanoshi. 737 00:56:20,458 --> 00:56:23,086 - What'd you call me? - Mr. Takanoshi? 738 00:56:23,695 --> 00:56:26,823 Right. That's my name. 739 00:56:28,132 --> 00:56:32,034 - Thought it might be drugs or something. - I think I know what it is. 740 00:56:44,649 --> 00:56:47,117 Are you really with Kamasaka Technologies? 741 00:56:47,285 --> 00:56:50,049 Damn it, we are high-powered Japanese executives. 742 00:56:50,221 --> 00:56:52,849 We work hard, and we play even harder. 743 00:56:53,024 --> 00:56:54,719 Now, tell us what you see there... 744 00:56:54,892 --> 00:56:57,918 ...or we'll go find another candidate at Georgia Polytech. 745 00:56:58,096 --> 00:57:00,963 It's anthracite. 746 00:57:01,499 --> 00:57:04,798 - Coal. - Coal in Hazzard? 747 00:57:04,969 --> 00:57:08,166 - What's the street value of this? - This much? Nothing. 748 00:57:08,339 --> 00:57:10,773 A good-sized mine? Could be millions. 749 00:57:11,175 --> 00:57:13,666 Can you show us what a good-sized mine looks like? 750 00:57:13,845 --> 00:57:15,938 Yeah. 751 00:57:18,850 --> 00:57:22,342 Here's what it used to look like. And this is the after. 752 00:57:27,058 --> 00:57:29,185 Damn. 753 00:57:29,594 --> 00:57:33,496 - Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard? - The hell he is. 754 00:57:33,731 --> 00:57:36,632 Mr. Kamasaka? We have to go. The plane is leaving. 755 00:57:36,801 --> 00:57:40,794 Congratulations, Royce. You got the job. How does 24,000 yen a year sound? 756 00:57:41,139 --> 00:57:43,004 Sounds like 40 bucks. 757 00:57:43,174 --> 00:57:44,505 Way to go. 758 00:57:44,675 --> 00:57:48,076 All right, man. See you in Beijing. 759 00:57:52,050 --> 00:57:55,952 - You see two guys come through here? - You mean those two Japanese guys? 760 00:58:15,106 --> 00:58:17,700 Get me Atlanta P.D. Damn. 761 00:58:17,875 --> 00:58:19,103 Strip-mining? 762 00:58:19,377 --> 00:58:20,776 Why, that slimy bastard. 763 00:58:21,212 --> 00:58:22,702 Here's another little nugget. 764 00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,974 Hogg has been paying that kid Prickett a lot of money... 765 00:58:26,150 --> 00:58:28,482 ...to race here Saturday. - He's paying him? 766 00:58:29,020 --> 00:58:32,251 Y'all better get your asses back here quick as you can, got it? 767 00:58:32,423 --> 00:58:34,823 Ten-four, Shepherd, this is Lost Sheep out. 768 00:58:36,594 --> 00:58:39,290 What's this? What's these crackers doing in our place? 769 00:58:39,464 --> 00:58:43,093 Turns out Prickett came back because Hogg paid him a assload of cash. 770 00:58:43,401 --> 00:58:46,302 Don't mean Billy has anything to do with strip-mining. 771 00:58:46,471 --> 00:58:48,166 You got to be kidding me. 772 00:58:48,873 --> 00:58:50,773 Oh, shit. Roll them up. 773 00:58:51,609 --> 00:58:54,510 - What the hell is this, man? - Looks like somebody's lost. 774 00:58:54,679 --> 00:58:58,115 Look, a couple of white boys playing black. Is that's what's going on? 775 00:58:58,282 --> 00:59:01,809 Actually, we were at the geology lab for some environmental stuff, and... 776 00:59:01,986 --> 00:59:06,980 No, I get it. They on one of these reality shows. 777 00:59:07,158 --> 00:59:10,059 - Who Wanna Get They Ass Kicked? - Yeah. 778 00:59:10,795 --> 00:59:14,788 Why don't you two hillbillies join us up here for a minute? 779 00:59:14,966 --> 00:59:16,991 Actually, we prefer Appalachian-Americans. 780 00:59:17,168 --> 00:59:18,795 Man, get out the car! 781 00:59:20,972 --> 00:59:24,703 Now, which one of you two brothers is Michelangelo? 782 00:59:26,210 --> 00:59:30,772 There's a certain creek that people sometimes canoe up without a paddle. 783 00:59:30,948 --> 00:59:35,612 You could say that the Duke boys were on that particular creek right now. 784 00:59:35,786 --> 00:59:38,118 Let's kick they ass, Jerry! 785 00:59:39,790 --> 00:59:42,588 Never thought I'd say this, but, hot damn, it's the cops. 786 00:59:44,529 --> 00:59:45,962 There goes the canoe. 787 00:59:51,068 --> 00:59:53,127 - Give me your shoelaces. - What? 788 00:59:53,304 --> 00:59:57,707 These guys over there gave me theirs. See, I'm gonna fashion myself a lasso. 789 00:59:57,875 --> 01:00:01,504 When the jailer comes in, I'm gonna rope his keys. 790 01:00:01,679 --> 01:00:05,740 Luke and Bo Duke are home free. Period, end of story. 791 01:00:05,917 --> 01:00:09,011 I got on cowboy boots, cuz. 792 01:00:09,187 --> 01:00:11,985 I like your style. 793 01:00:12,156 --> 01:00:14,056 You gonna need those shoelaces? 794 01:00:14,225 --> 01:00:17,194 We gonna have to get out of here. 795 01:00:17,461 --> 01:00:21,795 Hey, Yul Brynner. We gotta make a phone call. We gotta call our lawyer. 796 01:00:21,966 --> 01:00:23,593 What the hell are we in here for? 797 01:00:23,901 --> 01:00:28,395 Well, where should I start? 798 01:00:34,445 --> 01:00:36,413 We know you're gonna strip-mine Hazzard. 799 01:00:36,581 --> 01:00:40,017 Do you, now? Well, that's good. 800 01:00:40,184 --> 01:00:42,516 Guess where I'm gonna sink that first drill. 801 01:00:42,687 --> 01:00:45,349 Right down in the middle of your bedroom. 802 01:00:45,523 --> 01:00:49,357 Y'all do still share a bunk bed, right? 803 01:00:49,527 --> 01:00:52,724 Hey, that's a phat suit there. What, you some type of pimp? 804 01:00:55,333 --> 01:01:00,168 What has strip-mining got to do with you paying Billy Prickett to race tomorrow? 805 01:01:00,538 --> 01:01:03,336 You like magic, Luke? Sleight of hand? 806 01:01:03,507 --> 01:01:09,673 See, while you're looking over here, something's really happening over here. 807 01:01:09,847 --> 01:01:15,251 You see, despite the fact that I now own your beloved farm... 808 01:01:15,419 --> 01:01:20,186 ...I can't legally mine it, because the county won't let me. 809 01:01:20,358 --> 01:01:22,758 I need to hold a public hearing, you know... 810 01:01:22,927 --> 01:01:28,490 ...to give the citizens of Hazzard a chance to object. 811 01:01:29,166 --> 01:01:33,068 And let me guess, you're going to hold the hearing during the rally tomorrow? 812 01:01:33,237 --> 01:01:37,537 And if nobody knows about the hearing, there won't be anyone there to object. 813 01:01:38,576 --> 01:01:40,601 - There you go. - Sleight of hand. 814 01:01:40,778 --> 01:01:43,110 - Sleight of hand. - Grow the fingernails out. 815 01:01:43,281 --> 01:01:46,273 Then pop some fingernail polish on them bitches. 816 01:01:47,618 --> 01:01:49,813 - Is Billy Prickett in on it? - Prickett? 817 01:01:51,889 --> 01:01:56,588 - Prickett's just collecting a paycheck. - We ain't gonna let you get away with it. 818 01:01:56,761 --> 01:02:01,596 Really? Tomorrow, if you happen to be strolling by the courthouse about noon... 819 01:02:01,766 --> 01:02:05,031 ...you might wanna rush right in there and voice your objections. 820 01:02:05,202 --> 01:02:06,760 Voice this. 821 01:02:08,839 --> 01:02:11,637 Dadgum it. I just remembered. 822 01:02:11,809 --> 01:02:15,210 Tomorrow morning you're going to the Georgia work farm. 823 01:02:15,379 --> 01:02:19,509 And I hear they have a rather strict policy on weekend passes. 824 01:02:19,684 --> 01:02:22,653 Yo, B. You need to pop a feather in that hat, yo. 825 01:02:22,820 --> 01:02:25,482 Then your man ho's will be having more respect for you. 826 01:02:25,823 --> 01:02:27,552 I have $ 100 right here... 827 01:02:27,725 --> 01:02:30,489 ...for whoever knocks that loudmouth son of a bitch out. 828 01:02:32,430 --> 01:02:33,829 Thank you. 829 01:02:33,998 --> 01:02:36,558 Now, break some rocks for me, boys. 830 01:02:36,734 --> 01:02:39,396 Take care, now, you hear? 831 01:02:39,570 --> 01:02:41,697 Bye-bye. 832 01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:46,435 Don't you know you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? 833 01:03:05,329 --> 01:03:07,194 All right, here's what we're gonna do. 834 01:03:07,365 --> 01:03:11,734 When we stop for gas, we call up Cooter and tell him to put a pig in the road, right. 835 01:03:11,902 --> 01:03:16,134 Then when the cops are moving the pig, Cooter hooks up a cable to the bumper. 836 01:03:16,307 --> 01:03:19,674 Car drives away, the hook will pull out the whole chassis. 837 01:03:19,844 --> 01:03:22,278 He can't drive without a chassis... 838 01:03:22,446 --> 01:03:24,107 All right, shut up back there! 839 01:03:24,281 --> 01:03:27,307 My cousin's starting to go crazy. We gotta get him to a hospital. 840 01:03:27,485 --> 01:03:29,783 I think he done caught the fever, or something. 841 01:03:29,954 --> 01:03:33,515 That's what happens when you're humping livestock, hillbilly. 842 01:03:33,691 --> 01:03:36,091 Can we help you guys out with anything up there... 843 01:03:36,260 --> 01:03:38,455 ...oblige you with a reach-around or something? 844 01:03:38,629 --> 01:03:40,995 Of course, you'd have to un-cuff us first. 845 01:03:41,165 --> 01:03:44,498 Sarge, if you and me was to have a chase, you think you could catch me? 846 01:03:45,002 --> 01:03:48,130 - Appears to me you caught already, son. - I'm serious. 847 01:03:48,305 --> 01:03:52,207 If I had my car and you was in this one, you really think you could catch me? 848 01:03:52,376 --> 01:03:55,072 Because, bubba, this car feels kind of slow to me. 849 01:03:55,246 --> 01:03:58,215 She's got plenty under the hood, don't you worry about that. 850 01:03:58,382 --> 01:04:00,009 - No balls. - No balls. 851 01:04:00,184 --> 01:04:02,345 No balls. No balls. 852 01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:03,919 - No balls. - No balls. 853 01:04:04,088 --> 01:04:06,079 You wanna see balls? 854 01:04:06,257 --> 01:04:09,090 - No balls. No balls. - Will you slow this car down? 855 01:04:09,260 --> 01:04:12,593 You letting them get your panties in a bunch. You the officer. 856 01:04:12,763 --> 01:04:15,163 Shut the hell up back there. All right? 857 01:04:15,433 --> 01:04:18,834 - No balls. - Oh, my God. Will you look at that? 858 01:04:19,036 --> 01:04:22,096 You need a napkin to eat them drumsticks, boy. 859 01:04:23,741 --> 01:04:26,471 - Goddamn it. - Nice driving! 860 01:04:32,316 --> 01:04:34,375 What seems to be the problem, sugar? 861 01:04:34,885 --> 01:04:37,649 I think something bounced up into my undercarriage. 862 01:04:37,822 --> 01:04:40,154 - Will you take a look? - Ma'am, I'd be pleased... 863 01:04:40,324 --> 01:04:42,690 ...to check your undercarriage. - Thank you. 864 01:04:42,860 --> 01:04:45,420 I stopped you because your taillight is out. 865 01:04:45,596 --> 01:04:47,393 Stopped me? Sir, you hit me. 866 01:04:47,565 --> 01:04:50,534 Because your taillight is out, and we couldn't see you brake. 867 01:04:50,701 --> 01:04:53,067 - You're gonna write me a ticket? - Yep. 868 01:04:53,404 --> 01:04:55,269 This is ridiculous! 869 01:04:57,708 --> 01:05:00,575 Is there anything I can help you out with today, ma'am? 870 01:05:00,744 --> 01:05:03,611 Do cute cops grow on trees around here or what? 871 01:05:03,814 --> 01:05:07,875 Well, I, you know... Pushups. Kind of you to notice. 872 01:05:08,052 --> 01:05:11,078 Let me see what's going on under your hood here. 873 01:05:12,823 --> 01:05:16,589 - Damn, that's hot. - Here. Maybe this'll help. 874 01:05:20,498 --> 01:05:23,865 - Bless you. - No, no, no. My undercarriage. 875 01:05:24,034 --> 01:05:26,468 - Your undercarriage? - Yeah. 876 01:05:33,844 --> 01:05:37,280 Looks like you boys have the magic touch. 877 01:05:47,157 --> 01:05:49,489 I was about to seal the deal when you came over. 878 01:05:49,660 --> 01:05:51,855 What? She was looking at me the whole time. 879 01:05:53,364 --> 01:05:56,197 - Let's get out of here. - Where are the goddamn keys? 880 01:06:01,639 --> 01:06:04,130 Y'all think you can catch me now? 881 01:06:18,689 --> 01:06:20,554 Buckle up, this might get exciting. 882 01:06:20,724 --> 01:06:24,160 That's all right. We'll be long gone before another cop shows up. 883 01:06:25,596 --> 01:06:26,790 Get skinny! 884 01:06:38,008 --> 01:06:40,568 - Okay, where's the highway? - Don't you have a map? 885 01:06:41,679 --> 01:06:43,112 Wait. I got it. 886 01:06:46,617 --> 01:06:47,982 Turn left up here! 887 01:06:48,152 --> 01:06:49,449 Turn left, turn left! 888 01:06:50,988 --> 01:06:52,979 Damn it, I said, left! 889 01:06:53,157 --> 01:06:55,523 - You said your left! - My left is your left. 890 01:06:55,693 --> 01:06:58,389 I'm gonna need these directions faster. 891 01:07:01,165 --> 01:07:04,100 It's okay. I know exactly where we're at. 892 01:07:11,675 --> 01:07:13,370 So, girls, how's the back seat? 893 01:07:13,544 --> 01:07:17,503 I haven't had this much fun since we used to sneak up to the hayloft. 894 01:07:19,116 --> 01:07:22,244 You remember those tight little outfits you used to make me wear. 895 01:07:27,558 --> 01:07:31,153 - I didn't know how to break it to you. - You didn't know? 896 01:07:31,328 --> 01:07:33,159 Luke, you said he was okay with it. 897 01:07:36,834 --> 01:07:39,234 Look at the road, Bo. 898 01:07:39,403 --> 01:07:41,428 Bo, look at the road. 899 01:07:42,606 --> 01:07:45,871 - Look at the road. - Supposed to be my time. 900 01:07:47,144 --> 01:07:48,475 Bo! 901 01:08:09,633 --> 01:08:10,998 I think I'm gonna chunder. 902 01:08:11,168 --> 01:08:13,033 - Is that bad? - That means "vomit. " 903 01:08:13,203 --> 01:08:14,761 - Not in the car. - Bo! 904 01:08:41,565 --> 01:08:44,534 You told me she wasn't emotionally available for me. 905 01:08:44,702 --> 01:08:47,796 That it was better to lose a lover than to love a loser! 906 01:08:47,971 --> 01:08:50,337 Because you would faint every time you saw her! 907 01:08:50,507 --> 01:08:53,067 I don't faint. 908 01:08:55,145 --> 01:08:56,578 You called me a loser? 909 01:08:56,747 --> 01:08:58,715 I was trying to make him feel better. 910 01:08:58,882 --> 01:09:00,440 Can you just let me out here? 911 01:09:14,331 --> 01:09:17,596 Bo, this is some of the best driving I ever seen you do. 912 01:09:17,768 --> 01:09:20,737 - Ain't that right, girls? - Great driving, Bo. Great driving. 913 01:09:20,904 --> 01:09:22,565 Don't kiss my ass. 914 01:09:27,911 --> 01:09:30,937 - Bo, you gotta get us out of here. - I can't hear you. 915 01:09:31,115 --> 01:09:34,107 - You're being ridiculous, Bo. - Life is ridiculous, Katie. 916 01:09:34,284 --> 01:09:36,343 I really need a plastic bag now. 917 01:09:42,226 --> 01:09:44,160 What is the purpose of this circle? 918 01:09:47,865 --> 01:09:49,196 How do we get out of here? 919 01:09:49,366 --> 01:09:51,561 - Take this right. - I'm not listening to you. 920 01:09:51,735 --> 01:09:53,669 Take a right here. 921 01:09:55,272 --> 01:09:56,603 Hell. 922 01:10:06,483 --> 01:10:08,713 You're scaring the girls. Get back on the road. 923 01:10:08,886 --> 01:10:11,753 - Say sorry for stealing Katie. - You were never together! 924 01:10:11,922 --> 01:10:13,583 I liked her. You betrayed that. 925 01:10:13,757 --> 01:10:16,419 - I liked her too! - I liked her first. 926 01:10:17,461 --> 01:10:18,689 Calm down, Bo! 927 01:10:18,862 --> 01:10:20,887 I will calm down when he says he's sorry! 928 01:10:21,064 --> 01:10:23,123 - Say you're sorry. - I ain't saying it. 929 01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:25,598 Have you made your peace with God yet, Luke? 930 01:10:25,769 --> 01:10:29,205 Because you're about to meet your maker! 931 01:10:29,473 --> 01:10:30,940 - Just say you're sorry! - No. 932 01:10:31,108 --> 01:10:34,771 We had a good time, and I'm not gonna apologize for that. 933 01:10:50,828 --> 01:10:53,228 Okay, I'm sorry. 934 01:10:53,397 --> 01:10:55,865 Fine. I'll take Annette. 935 01:10:58,936 --> 01:11:01,302 That was fun. 936 01:11:09,379 --> 01:11:11,847 Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep, are you out there? 937 01:11:12,015 --> 01:11:13,414 Uncle Jesse, where are you? 938 01:11:13,584 --> 01:11:17,350 There's a hearing at the courthouse. We gotta get everybody over there now. 939 01:11:17,521 --> 01:11:19,921 Sounds like a mighty fine plan, Lucas. 940 01:11:20,090 --> 01:11:22,615 Only got one wrinkle to it. 941 01:11:22,793 --> 01:11:29,221 You do that, could be very bad for Jesse and Pauline's health. 942 01:11:29,499 --> 01:11:31,228 Hogg, you lay one hand on them... 943 01:11:31,401 --> 01:11:34,461 ...and I'll shove a apple in your mouth and my foot up your ass. 944 01:11:34,638 --> 01:11:36,299 Well, you bring the Vaseline. 945 01:11:36,974 --> 01:11:38,601 We'll make it a party. 946 01:11:38,775 --> 01:11:42,370 You two boys stay out of Hazzard, and I mean it this time. 947 01:11:42,546 --> 01:11:45,242 - Where you think they got them? - I don't know. 948 01:11:45,415 --> 01:11:48,748 - Hogg's never gone this far before. - You ready to go that far? 949 01:11:49,453 --> 01:11:53,014 Cousin, I'm always ready to go that far. 950 01:12:06,270 --> 01:12:09,535 What are we doing here? This is Derek Sheevington's place. 951 01:12:09,706 --> 01:12:13,972 Yeah. Pretty good chance this is gonna get ugly, so we're gonna drop you here. 952 01:12:14,144 --> 01:12:17,170 He got caught drinking out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom. 953 01:12:17,347 --> 01:12:20,976 I know, I know. But we're gonna need you girls to work with him. 954 01:12:22,052 --> 01:12:23,349 Oh, good God. 955 01:12:26,156 --> 01:12:28,818 Why, Katie Johnson, is that you? 956 01:12:28,992 --> 01:12:30,789 Boy, you filled out real nice. 957 01:12:30,961 --> 01:12:33,794 Yeah. You filled out real nice too, Sheev. 958 01:12:33,964 --> 01:12:37,923 What's going on, Sheev? Looks like we're gonna need some of those toys. 959 01:12:38,168 --> 01:12:41,968 Leave them two girls here, I'll give you anything you want. 960 01:12:42,139 --> 01:12:44,664 Come on in. I'll put a stew on. 961 01:12:54,284 --> 01:12:58,186 - Hazzard County Police Department. - Enos, this is Boss Hogg. 962 01:12:58,355 --> 01:13:00,380 Me and Rosco are over at the Duke place. 963 01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:04,357 - If anybody wants us, we'll be here. - Well, that's mighty consid... 964 01:13:06,863 --> 01:13:11,391 Rosco, I'm going over and join the governor at the rally. 965 01:13:11,568 --> 01:13:15,334 Do not be late going to the courthouse. 966 01:13:15,505 --> 01:13:18,804 Boss, how come you told old Enos there where we was at? 967 01:13:22,212 --> 01:13:24,737 You remember the time we tried to fix the rodeo? 968 01:13:24,915 --> 01:13:28,612 - Yeah. - It was Enos that told the Dukes about it. 969 01:13:29,086 --> 01:13:32,578 Then we tried to spread those rumors about the Mad Cow Disease... 970 01:13:32,756 --> 01:13:36,920 ...so my chicken factories would make a little more profit. 971 01:13:37,094 --> 01:13:39,585 It was Enos that told the Duke boys. 972 01:13:39,763 --> 01:13:42,391 So you want them Duke boys to come out here? 973 01:14:14,798 --> 01:14:19,963 Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Rosco? 974 01:14:20,137 --> 01:14:22,537 They're at your farm. 975 01:14:23,106 --> 01:14:25,233 Thank you, Enos. 976 01:14:29,946 --> 01:14:32,380 That might be a new record. 977 01:14:38,288 --> 01:14:40,779 What? Okay, thanks, Daisy. 978 01:14:42,726 --> 01:14:44,091 He's at our farm. 979 01:14:46,463 --> 01:14:48,590 Hey. Hey, look, there's Prickett. 980 01:14:49,299 --> 01:14:51,494 - So? - He can help us. 981 01:14:51,668 --> 01:14:54,501 He don't care about Hazzard. He's getting paid to be here. 982 01:14:54,671 --> 01:14:56,901 Oh, man, you're wrong. He's from here. 983 01:15:04,247 --> 01:15:07,216 - You out of your goddamn mind? - Hey, Billy. 984 01:15:07,384 --> 01:15:11,218 - Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard. - Just hold your horses. 985 01:15:11,388 --> 01:15:14,585 - Who's stripping? - He's playing you, man. 986 01:15:14,758 --> 01:15:17,386 - He paid you to come and race... - Just save your breath. 987 01:15:17,561 --> 01:15:20,394 - I already know. - You already know? 988 01:15:21,998 --> 01:15:25,525 - But this is your hometown. - I hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo... 989 01:15:25,702 --> 01:15:28,330 ...but this place is a shithole. 990 01:15:28,505 --> 01:15:32,464 If it wasn't a strip mine, it'd be a strip mall. 991 01:15:34,111 --> 01:15:38,605 Kind of like one of them outlets where everything's reduced prices and... 992 01:15:38,782 --> 01:15:42,445 Hell, they don't even have an Outback Steakhouse down here. Am I right? 993 01:15:42,619 --> 01:15:45,486 - Right as pie, Billy. - Saddle up, Dil. 994 01:15:49,860 --> 01:15:54,194 Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo. At least you didn't have to race me today. 995 01:15:54,364 --> 01:15:58,164 Because I would've left that little Tonka toy you drive at the starting stripe. 996 01:15:58,335 --> 01:16:00,701 - Tonka. - I'm gonna kill him. 997 01:16:00,871 --> 01:16:03,135 Hey, hey, hey! 998 01:16:03,306 --> 01:16:05,570 - What about Uncle Jesse? - Wanna ride this stag? 999 01:16:05,742 --> 01:16:09,109 - You wanna rodeo with this clown? - Uncle Jesse's old, Luke. 1000 01:16:09,279 --> 01:16:10,940 He's had a good run. 1001 01:16:11,114 --> 01:16:16,746 Besides, if he passes, God have mercy on his soul, we get the farm. 1002 01:16:19,756 --> 01:16:22,816 I'm just playing with you, man. Let's go get him. 1003 01:16:34,437 --> 01:16:36,132 They're here. 1004 01:16:42,846 --> 01:16:44,211 Cooter, you ready out there? 1005 01:16:44,381 --> 01:16:47,612 You get Rosco out of there, Daisy and I'll take care of the rest. 1006 01:16:47,784 --> 01:16:50,844 What do you say we smoke the varmint out of his hole? 1007 01:16:53,590 --> 01:16:56,923 Hey, Rosco, come on out, you fat son of a bitch! 1008 01:17:03,266 --> 01:17:05,791 - Cletus, get your butt out there. - Thank you, Rosco. 1009 01:17:20,016 --> 01:17:22,746 - Let me know if you're gonna puke! - Oh, you'll know first! 1010 01:17:29,926 --> 01:17:33,327 All right, boys! Y'all come on out of there with your hands up. 1011 01:17:35,065 --> 01:17:37,329 - Hey, Rosco! - Hi, Boo-Boo. 1012 01:17:48,178 --> 01:17:50,442 I didn't know we had so many pigs on the farm. 1013 01:18:02,325 --> 01:18:05,488 - I call this "painting the fence. " - I think you missed a spot. 1014 01:18:09,532 --> 01:18:11,500 Look out, look out! 1015 01:18:11,735 --> 01:18:14,067 - You gonna get us out of here? - I'm working on it! 1016 01:18:30,053 --> 01:18:32,146 Man, they're hauling ass, pick it up! 1017 01:18:42,232 --> 01:18:44,598 - You gonna make that? - I'm planning on it. 1018 01:18:47,671 --> 01:18:49,571 Hold on, Luke. 1019 01:18:53,276 --> 01:18:55,039 I'll go in this direction now! 1020 01:19:08,758 --> 01:19:11,556 All right, Jesse. I'm arresting those... 1021 01:19:12,128 --> 01:19:15,222 Jesse? Jesse? 1022 01:19:18,335 --> 01:19:20,326 Courthouse. 1023 01:19:28,712 --> 01:19:32,341 Attention! Attention, good people of Hazzard! 1024 01:19:32,515 --> 01:19:35,382 Life as we know it is about to end. 1025 01:19:35,552 --> 01:19:40,353 As we speak, dark forces are conspiring to strip-mine our land. 1026 01:19:40,523 --> 01:19:42,855 Follow me to the courthouse, and we'll save you! 1027 01:19:44,728 --> 01:19:48,892 Yeah, right, Sheev. Last year the CIA was brainwashing our cows. 1028 01:19:49,566 --> 01:19:50,965 Get a job, man. 1029 01:19:52,235 --> 01:19:54,066 Hey, Sheev. Sheev. 1030 01:19:54,237 --> 01:19:58,298 - Go back to your spaceship. - I'm serious. Come on! 1031 01:19:59,442 --> 01:20:00,500 Bye, Sheev. 1032 01:20:14,891 --> 01:20:16,825 It might be good if you helped out here. 1033 01:20:16,993 --> 01:20:19,120 - Hell, move over, I'll drive. - No way. 1034 01:20:19,295 --> 01:20:21,160 I'm still hoping to survive this thing. 1035 01:20:23,133 --> 01:20:24,794 Goddamn it. Son of a bitch. 1036 01:20:28,104 --> 01:20:31,073 I like the way you think, cuz. Yeah, boy! 1037 01:20:49,626 --> 01:20:51,150 Hold on. 1038 01:21:06,075 --> 01:21:08,407 Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep, are you out there? 1039 01:21:09,045 --> 01:21:10,205 Go for Lost Sheep. 1040 01:21:10,380 --> 01:21:12,575 - Free and clear. - Good. 1041 01:21:12,749 --> 01:21:15,274 Sheev's making sure everyone goes to the hearing. 1042 01:21:15,452 --> 01:21:17,215 - I'll see you in town. - Over and out. 1043 01:21:17,387 --> 01:21:18,877 Let's get the hell out of here. 1044 01:21:24,127 --> 01:21:28,029 - Barn door, coming up. - Yeah, I see it. Hold on! 1045 01:21:50,487 --> 01:21:52,182 The General! 1046 01:21:52,422 --> 01:21:54,117 Let's head to the courthouse! 1047 01:21:58,428 --> 01:22:01,397 End of the World to Lost Sheep, End of the World to Lost Sheep. 1048 01:22:01,564 --> 01:22:03,532 - Come in, Lost Sheep. - What do you got? 1049 01:22:03,700 --> 01:22:06,032 - Everybody headed into town? - That's a negative. 1050 01:22:06,202 --> 01:22:07,692 Repeat, that's a negative. 1051 01:22:07,871 --> 01:22:10,465 No one listened. They threw hot dogs at us. 1052 01:22:11,307 --> 01:22:14,140 - Did you tell them about the strip mine? - Of course I did. 1053 01:22:14,711 --> 01:22:17,839 Were you wearing a armadillo helmet when you told them about it? 1054 01:22:20,216 --> 01:22:21,513 No. 1055 01:22:22,552 --> 01:22:24,042 Okay, Lost Sheep out. 1056 01:22:25,088 --> 01:22:26,715 No one's heading in to town? 1057 01:22:26,890 --> 01:22:30,883 If we don't get to that courthouse by noon, there ain't gonna be no town. 1058 01:22:33,763 --> 01:22:37,529 - Well, we still got time for Plan B. - I like Plan B. 1059 01:22:37,700 --> 01:22:38,997 - Plan B. - Plan B. 1060 01:22:39,168 --> 01:22:41,363 When you're flying by the seat of your pants... 1061 01:22:41,538 --> 01:22:44,666 ... nothing sounds more official than a Plan B. 1062 01:22:46,276 --> 01:22:49,109 Don't worry, cuz, I'll get them to the courthouse. 1063 01:23:13,202 --> 01:23:16,433 This emergency hearing is now in session. 1064 01:23:18,007 --> 01:23:20,168 Rosco, where is everybody? 1065 01:23:21,644 --> 01:23:23,043 I'm here. 1066 01:23:23,713 --> 01:23:25,044 Well, we have until noon. 1067 01:24:06,055 --> 01:24:10,424 Now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... 1068 01:24:10,593 --> 01:24:15,530 ...it's my honor today to introduce my friend... 1069 01:24:15,698 --> 01:24:21,864 ...and the friend of everybody in the greatest state of the United States... 1070 01:24:24,674 --> 01:24:30,237 ...the governor, James T. Applewhite! 1071 01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:32,778 Thank you. Thank you. 1072 01:24:34,117 --> 01:24:35,744 Ladies and gentlemen... 1073 01:24:35,918 --> 01:24:40,912 ...welcome to the 70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally! 1074 01:24:43,192 --> 01:24:46,286 Drivers, start your engines! 1075 01:24:57,407 --> 01:25:01,776 Just have a couple piña coladas waiting for me at the finish line, Dil. 1076 01:25:01,944 --> 01:25:03,639 Here comes the heat. 1077 01:25:07,650 --> 01:25:09,379 There they go. 1078 01:25:15,425 --> 01:25:17,359 Come on, come on, come on. 1079 01:25:38,347 --> 01:25:40,247 He's in the race! 1080 01:26:11,614 --> 01:26:14,947 It has been confirmed that the orange car that entered the race... 1081 01:26:15,118 --> 01:26:18,019 ...is in fact the same car that tore up Atlanta this morning. 1082 01:26:18,187 --> 01:26:22,283 It seems that the "orange-car fugitives" are from right here in Hazzard County. 1083 01:26:22,458 --> 01:26:25,484 State and local authorities are trying to subdue the vehicle... 1084 01:26:25,661 --> 01:26:27,253 ...known as the General Lee. 1085 01:26:27,430 --> 01:26:31,298 Well, General-Lee speaking, I'd say those cops are in for a pretty tough time. 1086 01:26:31,467 --> 01:26:33,628 I'm Rick Shakely. Back to you, Marty. 1087 01:26:39,242 --> 01:26:42,439 This is Boss Hogg. The Dukes are on the course. 1088 01:26:42,612 --> 01:26:48,551 I want all available vehicles to shut down the road to the courthouse! 1089 01:26:48,718 --> 01:26:51,084 - We're gonna need to clear a path. - You got it. 1090 01:26:54,791 --> 01:26:59,091 Hey, Dil, what's the word on those Céline Dion tickets? 1091 01:27:00,096 --> 01:27:04,192 Well, of course I wanna go backstage. Don't be dumb. 1092 01:27:56,485 --> 01:27:57,645 Damn. 1093 01:28:10,933 --> 01:28:15,063 Enos. I want you down to the courthouse. I... 1094 01:28:16,606 --> 01:28:18,039 Someone moved my car. 1095 01:28:19,909 --> 01:28:23,868 Enos, you dipstick, did somebody move my car? 1096 01:28:24,413 --> 01:28:27,576 Hell, let's just sack up and shoot the bastard. 1097 01:28:30,119 --> 01:28:32,713 Holy shit! 1098 01:28:33,222 --> 01:28:35,247 Luke, where the hell are you? 1099 01:28:50,873 --> 01:28:53,774 - Good God almighty. - It's about time! 1100 01:28:53,943 --> 01:28:56,776 - How's the race going? - How's it look like it's going? 1101 01:29:44,694 --> 01:29:46,218 Why, you dirty son of a bitch. 1102 01:29:49,999 --> 01:29:51,762 Hey, go easy on that. 1103 01:29:51,934 --> 01:29:55,927 For what I'm getting ready to do, I don't wanna remember a lot of it. 1104 01:30:02,311 --> 01:30:04,108 You know why tornadoes and blonds... 1105 01:30:04,280 --> 01:30:06,305 ...are so much alike? - No. 1106 01:30:06,482 --> 01:30:11,146 At first, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house. 1107 01:30:16,292 --> 01:30:19,125 Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? 1108 01:30:19,295 --> 01:30:20,853 - No. - You get a piece of ass... 1109 01:30:21,030 --> 01:30:23,965 ...that'll bring a tear to your eye. 1110 01:30:28,904 --> 01:30:30,462 You thinking about throwing it? 1111 01:30:30,639 --> 01:30:32,869 Oh, I'll throw it. I was thinking about pussy. 1112 01:30:40,649 --> 01:30:42,776 You know why divorces are so expensive? 1113 01:30:42,952 --> 01:30:45,512 - No. - Because they're worth it. 1114 01:30:48,491 --> 01:30:50,516 Fire in the hole. 1115 01:30:56,465 --> 01:31:00,196 Hey, Bo, take it home. The coast is clear. 1116 01:31:12,148 --> 01:31:14,013 Here we go again. 1117 01:31:14,183 --> 01:31:16,344 Okay, I'm gonna get those cops to follow me. 1118 01:31:16,519 --> 01:31:19,352 When I do, tow those cruisers out of the way. 1119 01:31:19,522 --> 01:31:21,422 Can do. 1120 01:31:35,504 --> 01:31:38,564 Excuse me, officers. My car broke down up the street there... 1121 01:31:38,741 --> 01:31:41,039 ...and I was wondering if y'all could help me out. 1122 01:31:41,210 --> 01:31:44,111 Why, yes, ma'am. We'll be happy to. 1123 01:31:44,280 --> 01:31:47,681 - Oh, you're sweet. - Let's go. 1124 01:31:48,217 --> 01:31:51,744 Halt! Tough shit, honey. You go fix your own car. 1125 01:31:51,921 --> 01:31:53,513 Ain't no one going anywhere. 1126 01:31:54,457 --> 01:31:56,584 What the hell are you doing? 1127 01:32:06,869 --> 01:32:08,166 Come on, General. 1128 01:32:39,568 --> 01:32:41,900 Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival! 1129 01:32:51,547 --> 01:32:53,242 Hey, Billy! 1130 01:33:03,225 --> 01:33:05,557 You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo. 1131 01:33:09,765 --> 01:33:12,199 I've had just about enough of you. 1132 01:33:24,647 --> 01:33:25,944 Here they come. 1133 01:33:41,864 --> 01:33:44,526 Of course I can feel him on my left! Of course I can! 1134 01:33:49,471 --> 01:33:52,668 - Where is he getting this from? - Hey, Billy! 1135 01:33:52,841 --> 01:33:54,240 He's playing with me! 1136 01:34:02,184 --> 01:34:04,846 - Come on. - The General Lee has won the race. 1137 01:34:06,488 --> 01:34:08,046 I want him tested for steroids! 1138 01:34:11,860 --> 01:34:14,920 But Billy Prickett and the General Lee haven't had quite enough driving. 1139 01:34:15,097 --> 01:34:17,031 They're still going. 1140 01:34:18,500 --> 01:34:20,730 - Come on, y'all! - We'll interview these guys... 1141 01:34:20,903 --> 01:34:23,997 ...if we have to chase after them ourselves. Tito, start the van. 1142 01:34:24,540 --> 01:34:26,440 Better luck next time, Hogg. 1143 01:34:26,609 --> 01:34:28,167 Let's go, baby. 1144 01:34:35,918 --> 01:34:37,943 Don't go home, really. 1145 01:34:40,155 --> 01:34:42,180 This is Boss Hogg. 1146 01:34:42,358 --> 01:34:47,193 That road better be shut down tighter than a tick's ass. 1147 01:34:47,863 --> 01:34:50,331 Ten-four. Barricade's in place. 1148 01:34:56,238 --> 01:34:58,365 Rosco, is anyone coming? 1149 01:34:58,941 --> 01:35:03,037 - What, I ain't good enough for you? - No comment. 1150 01:35:04,513 --> 01:35:07,073 Don't write that down. Don't write that down. 1151 01:35:07,249 --> 01:35:10,275 - Are they coming? - Oh, yeah, they're coming. 1152 01:35:10,452 --> 01:35:12,943 We got the whole town headed to the courthouse. 1153 01:35:14,189 --> 01:35:17,420 - Daisy, we all clear? - Not exactly. 1154 01:35:17,593 --> 01:35:20,187 "Not exactly" could be a problem. 1155 01:35:20,362 --> 01:35:24,526 Bo? I think we're gonna have to shoot the moon. 1156 01:35:39,982 --> 01:35:42,507 - What the hell are you doing, Cooter? - Sorry, officer. 1157 01:35:42,685 --> 01:35:44,653 I heard a pretty lady needed a tow. 1158 01:35:47,790 --> 01:35:50,691 - Cooter. - I can't hear you. 1159 01:35:50,859 --> 01:35:53,293 Cooter, what the hell are you doing? 1160 01:36:01,337 --> 01:36:03,703 Hey, Billy! 1161 01:36:03,872 --> 01:36:05,965 You think I was born yesterday, Bo-Bo? 1162 01:36:07,242 --> 01:36:09,233 Oh, shit! 1163 01:36:17,486 --> 01:36:19,181 Holy shit. 1164 01:36:35,671 --> 01:36:38,333 Luke, I made it, but I don't know how anybody else will. 1165 01:36:38,507 --> 01:36:41,374 That's okay, I got an idea! 1166 01:36:45,214 --> 01:36:47,045 Well, I'll see you on the other side. 1167 01:37:02,297 --> 01:37:04,356 Give me your goddamn driver's license. 1168 01:37:04,533 --> 01:37:06,296 What license? 1169 01:37:13,142 --> 01:37:15,770 What are we waiting on, judge? Let's finish this thing. 1170 01:37:15,944 --> 01:37:17,775 Well, I guess it's that time. 1171 01:37:17,946 --> 01:37:20,881 I just can't believe that nobody wants to object. 1172 01:37:22,317 --> 01:37:26,048 All those in favor of the strip-mining ordinance? 1173 01:37:27,823 --> 01:37:30,189 - They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard? - Damn straight. 1174 01:37:30,359 --> 01:37:34,728 - How can they do that? - Don't worry, we're about to stop them. 1175 01:37:35,898 --> 01:37:37,923 All those opposed? 1176 01:37:39,902 --> 01:37:42,530 What the hell is that? Who locked that door? 1177 01:37:46,975 --> 01:37:49,569 - Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow. - Your Honor! 1178 01:37:49,745 --> 01:37:54,239 I think we got some people who might like to object to this strip-mining issue. 1179 01:37:54,683 --> 01:37:58,119 Okay, all those opposed to the strip-mining ordinance? 1180 01:38:01,156 --> 01:38:06,924 This court hereby declares that the strip-mining ordinance is dismissed. 1181 01:38:12,334 --> 01:38:15,462 Thank you much. Thank you, Boss. Hi, how y'all? 1182 01:38:15,704 --> 01:38:18,434 She might be a little low on gas. 1183 01:38:18,607 --> 01:38:20,575 Take that. 1184 01:38:21,710 --> 01:38:25,077 Were you really gonna strip-mine Hazzard, Mr. Hogg? 1185 01:38:25,848 --> 01:38:28,442 I was thinking about it. 1186 01:38:30,085 --> 01:38:31,882 - Out of the way. - Step aside, please. 1187 01:38:32,054 --> 01:38:33,419 Excuse me, ma'am. 1188 01:38:34,790 --> 01:38:37,088 - Get your hands up. - People, move back. 1189 01:38:37,259 --> 01:38:38,851 Hands up, hands up. 1190 01:38:39,027 --> 01:38:42,428 Okay. Looks like the party's over. 1191 01:38:42,598 --> 01:38:45,658 Damn right it is. As long as I'm a county commissioner... 1192 01:38:45,834 --> 01:38:48,701 ...for the great state of Georgia, you two are gonna rot... 1193 01:38:48,871 --> 01:38:51,362 ...in the penitentiary. Cuff him. 1194 01:38:52,608 --> 01:38:53,905 Let them go! 1195 01:38:54,209 --> 01:38:55,972 Let them go! 1196 01:38:56,144 --> 01:38:59,511 Excuse me, Rick Shakely. I think the governor has a statement to make. 1197 01:38:59,681 --> 01:39:01,546 - Well, hot dog. - I do? 1198 01:39:01,717 --> 01:39:04,208 Yes, sir. You wanted to comment on how these boys... 1199 01:39:04,386 --> 01:39:06,684 ...are the heroes for saving Hazzard County. 1200 01:39:06,855 --> 01:39:09,847 - That's right, governor! - Come on, governor! 1201 01:39:11,293 --> 01:39:13,227 Certainly, certainly. 1202 01:39:13,395 --> 01:39:16,990 As you know, I've always been a great friend to the environment. 1203 01:39:17,466 --> 01:39:20,367 And these boys, they're environmental heroes! 1204 01:39:22,137 --> 01:39:26,267 And because they're heroes, you're gonna pardon them for all their crimes? 1205 01:39:29,778 --> 01:39:32,838 Moreover, as governor, I hereby pardon these boys... 1206 01:39:33,015 --> 01:39:36,974 ...of any and all offenses against the great state of Georgia. Go Dogs! 1207 01:39:40,222 --> 01:39:43,885 Governor? I wanna thank you for pardoning me too. 1208 01:39:44,059 --> 01:39:47,119 - Pardon you for what? - For this. 1209 01:39:51,900 --> 01:39:54,391 Oh, what the hell. I pardon him too. 1210 01:39:56,638 --> 01:40:00,199 Here's to Hazzard County's real favorite sons. 1211 01:40:03,712 --> 01:40:06,738 The day had been saved, as they say. 1212 01:40:06,915 --> 01:40:09,577 Hazzard was put back the way it was. 1213 01:40:09,751 --> 01:40:12,481 Boss Hogg had some explaining to do. 1214 01:40:12,654 --> 01:40:15,145 And the Dukes got their farm back and celebrated... 1215 01:40:15,324 --> 01:40:18,691 ... with a good old-fashioned pig-picking barbecue. 1216 01:40:18,860 --> 01:40:21,954 Hey, Billy. Daisy, I think you ought to get up there and sing. 1217 01:40:22,130 --> 01:40:25,861 - Oh, no. I only sing in the shower. - I'll get the water running. 1218 01:40:26,034 --> 01:40:28,468 - Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it. - Good idea. 1219 01:40:28,637 --> 01:40:31,970 Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse? We want him to sing a song. 1220 01:40:32,140 --> 01:40:35,337 I think I might know where he is. 1221 01:40:39,448 --> 01:40:40,710 An apple? 1222 01:40:40,983 --> 01:40:43,850 An apple a day will keep the doctor away, darling. 1223 01:40:44,019 --> 01:40:47,011 Come on, Jesse, they want you to sing. 1224 01:40:47,189 --> 01:40:50,989 - Real refreshing. - They are, aren't they? 1225 01:41:00,936 --> 01:41:02,665 It feels like old times again. 1226 01:41:02,838 --> 01:41:06,535 Yeah, except for now we don't gotta worry about Bo finding out. 1227 01:41:06,708 --> 01:41:10,200 I swear you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 1228 01:41:10,379 --> 01:41:13,177 - You're sweet. - Yeah. 1229 01:41:13,348 --> 01:41:15,543 I would really like to give you a bath later. 1230 01:41:15,717 --> 01:41:17,912 Clean you up real nice. Would you like that? 1231 01:41:18,086 --> 01:41:21,283 - I'd like that. - Yeah. Yeah. 1232 01:41:21,456 --> 01:41:25,256 Don't worry about her. She's crazy. 1233 01:41:31,733 --> 01:41:33,291 Hey there, Laurie. 1234 01:41:33,468 --> 01:41:36,528 You forgot to make your delivery this week, Luke Duke. 1235 01:41:37,072 --> 01:41:40,166 - Go, Bo, go. - Luke, you man-whore. 1236 01:41:40,942 --> 01:41:43,536 You get back here, you bastard! 1237 01:41:43,712 --> 01:41:45,145 See y'all later. 1238 01:41:59,227 --> 01:42:00,888 Okay, this is A-camera marker. 1239 01:42:01,063 --> 01:42:04,157 - Actually, she's my cousin. - That don't make a difference to me. 1240 01:42:04,332 --> 01:42:08,325 Hell, long as she's your sister. What the fuck did I just say? 1241 01:42:13,442 --> 01:42:17,242 Don't you know you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? 1242 01:42:20,215 --> 01:42:22,308 - Come on, cut that out. - Seann. 1243 01:42:22,484 --> 01:42:24,645 Do I need to mark this thing? 1244 01:42:24,820 --> 01:42:26,185 It's called common markers. 1245 01:42:26,354 --> 01:42:28,720 I wonder if Richard Burton ever had to do that. 1246 01:43:10,799 --> 01:43:14,394 What the fuck? That's the kiss you guys are having? 1247 01:43:14,569 --> 01:43:17,436 What the fuck? I'm a total fucking moron. 1248 01:43:17,606 --> 01:43:20,268 - It gets longer and longer, doesn't it? - Come on. 1249 01:43:20,442 --> 01:43:23,969 How these boys are the heroes for... Oh, my Lord. 1250 01:43:24,146 --> 01:43:27,582 Every time I look at her titties, she loses her line. 1251 01:43:29,618 --> 01:43:32,109 - I love it except for the hair in your eyes. - I know. 1252 01:43:32,287 --> 01:43:34,255 - How's my hair? - Okay. 1253 01:43:34,422 --> 01:43:36,549 How'd you miss that? 1254 01:43:36,825 --> 01:43:40,124 - Gonna take your hands off the wheel? - He showed me his balls. 1255 01:43:40,295 --> 01:43:43,093 Sorry. Okay, okay. We'll do it again. Okay, keep going. 1256 01:43:43,265 --> 01:43:45,165 For your... 1257 01:43:47,102 --> 01:43:49,969 - Don't tell me, it rhymes with "anus. " - Heinous. 1258 01:43:50,138 --> 01:43:52,436 For your heinous crimes. 1259 01:43:52,607 --> 01:43:55,633 Have you been running this around the clock, Uncle Jesse? 1260 01:44:05,554 --> 01:44:09,456 Did I say "shit" or "hell" that time? With "ass" or "dick"? I said "hell"? 1261 01:44:11,193 --> 01:44:14,890 Dang it, a little help. A little help. 1262 01:44:16,198 --> 01:44:18,723 - Cut it. - Cut. 1263 01:44:18,900 --> 01:44:23,997 Come on, be a bro, be a bro. Get it away! Come on. Get it away! 1264 01:44:24,172 --> 01:44:25,867 - Move over. - Hey. 1265 01:44:26,041 --> 01:44:29,306 - There weren't any bananas. - Oh, that's okay. 1266 01:44:30,312 --> 01:44:34,214 - Where's Bo? - To hell with Bo, it's Boo! 1267 01:44:34,382 --> 01:44:35,849 Lunch! 1268 01:44:41,156 --> 01:44:42,919 Thank you very much. 1269 01:44:44,793 --> 01:44:47,887 Look at me, I'm flying. I'm flying! 1270 01:44:48,063 --> 01:44:51,499 Oh, it's so much fun. I'm okay. 1271 01:45:51,500 --> 01:45:54,300 Ripped by: SkyFury