1
00:00:28,877 --> 00:00:31,277
Welcome to Hazzard County.
2
00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:35,110
A little corner of the world where
everyone knows everyone else...
3
00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:38,651
... and people are never too busy
to stop and say howdy.
4
00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:43,019
Shoot, some folks even say this is
where the apple pie was invented.
5
00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:49,290
Yep, basically everything down here
moves a little bit slower...
6
00:00:49,631 --> 00:00:55,126
... unless, of course,
your last name is Duke.
7
00:01:14,523 --> 00:01:16,582
Man, the General's in good shape.
8
00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:21,787
Bo, it's happy hour at The Boar's Nest,
and we still got two deliveries to make.
9
00:01:21,964 --> 00:01:26,298
It's all one big happy hour, Luke.
Besides, we're taking a shortcut.
10
00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:47,151
Hi, Luke.
11
00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:51,616
- I got this one.
- You sure that's a good idea, cuz?
12
00:01:51,794 --> 00:01:53,694
It's a great idea. Come on.
13
00:01:57,499 --> 00:01:59,091
Hey, Laurie.
14
00:01:59,268 --> 00:02:02,135
- You here to make your delivery?
- Well, I was hoping to.
15
00:02:02,304 --> 00:02:04,602
Luke, remember last time.
16
00:02:04,773 --> 00:02:06,468
Don't worry about it, cuz.
17
00:02:06,642 --> 00:02:09,110
It's okay, Bo. Pa ain't here.
18
00:02:09,278 --> 00:02:12,338
See, Bo? Pa ain't here.
19
00:02:14,216 --> 00:02:16,514
- Hi.
- Hi.
20
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,312
Play hard to get, little buddy.
21
00:02:32,234 --> 00:02:33,997
Listen and learn, General.
22
00:02:34,169 --> 00:02:38,128
And now, side two
of the Al Unser, Jr. Story:
23
00:02:38,307 --> 00:02:43,335
No Questions, Only Unsers,
as read by Laurence Fishburne.
24
00:02:43,512 --> 00:02:45,571
"I'm too old for this shit. "
25
00:02:45,747 --> 00:02:48,580
That's what I was thinking
as I turned into the final lap...
26
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,310
... running fourth at Talladega.
27
00:02:51,486 --> 00:02:54,944
But then it hit me.
Life is like a racetrack.
28
00:02:55,123 --> 00:02:57,751
You gotta keep going
round and round.
29
00:02:57,926 --> 00:03:01,828
- That is so true.
- Sure, sometimes you crash and burn.
30
00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:05,455
But if you don't make the turn,
you ain't never gonna learn.
31
00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:10,669
So I gripped the wheel tighter,
checked my gauges, and made my move.
32
00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:14,297
Make my move. Give you my move.
Make it, mother...
33
00:03:14,476 --> 00:03:16,569
- Jesus Christ!
- Howdy, Bo.
34
00:03:16,745 --> 00:03:20,647
Hey, Mr. Pullman.
I nearly shit myself.
35
00:03:21,016 --> 00:03:22,984
- How you doing, sir?
- Oh, I'm fine.
36
00:03:23,151 --> 00:03:25,984
You ready for that big
Hazzard Rally this weekend?
37
00:03:26,154 --> 00:03:29,214
Yeah, I got him all tuned up.
Right, General?
38
00:03:29,491 --> 00:03:31,516
How many times
you won that, anyway?
39
00:03:31,693 --> 00:03:34,355
- Four in a row, sir.
- Four in a row.
40
00:03:34,529 --> 00:03:38,829
That's good. Billy Prickett won it four
in a row, and look what he's doing today.
41
00:03:39,568 --> 00:03:41,934
- Hey, you been hunting?
- Yes, sir.
42
00:03:42,104 --> 00:03:44,629
Yeah, I been using
those new whammy shells.
43
00:03:44,806 --> 00:03:48,139
They scatter less for when you really
wanna blow a hole in something.
44
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,709
- Cool. Guns.
- Yeah.
45
00:03:55,217 --> 00:03:57,777
Are you delivering
all by yourself today?
46
00:03:57,953 --> 00:03:59,944
Oh, no. I never travel alone, sir.
47
00:04:00,122 --> 00:04:02,488
I like to think I travel
with the man upstairs.
48
00:04:03,725 --> 00:04:05,192
You know, Jesus.
49
00:04:06,862 --> 00:04:09,422
You know, I like that attitude.
50
00:04:09,598 --> 00:04:11,896
I'm gonna look around
and find a boy like you...
51
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:14,592
...to date my daughter,
Laurie, pretty soon.
52
00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:17,739
Because she's getting curious
about boys, you know.
53
00:04:17,906 --> 00:04:19,237
Yeah.
54
00:04:19,408 --> 00:04:22,104
Oh, you're talking about sex, right?
55
00:04:22,611 --> 00:04:26,047
I just wanna keep that
sorry cousin of yours away from her.
56
00:04:26,214 --> 00:04:29,877
The way he looks at her galls me.
You know what I mean?
57
00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:33,821
You get back here right now,
you son of a bitch.
58
00:04:33,989 --> 00:04:35,684
Get back here.
59
00:04:35,857 --> 00:04:38,223
Luke! Luke!
60
00:04:38,393 --> 00:04:41,556
- Why you running, you chickenshit?
- Goddamn Dukes.
61
00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:43,357
You get the hell off my sister.
62
00:04:43,532 --> 00:04:45,329
- Jimmy!
- Oh, shit.
63
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:48,435
Damn you, Luke!
You get back in the house!
64
00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:51,003
- Go, Bo, go!
- Luke, wait!
65
00:04:51,173 --> 00:04:53,801
- Put on a shirt!
- Come on, come on, come on.
66
00:04:53,976 --> 00:04:55,910
I forgot about the brother. Go!
67
00:05:00,415 --> 00:05:01,905
So happy hour?
68
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,917
- You're gonna get us shot someday.
- Not today.
69
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,578
Not with you driving the getaway car.
70
00:05:09,992 --> 00:05:12,426
- So how was it?
- It's never bad.
71
00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:17,392
Son of a bitch.
72
00:05:18,867 --> 00:05:20,858
Here, load up with these
whammy shells.
73
00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:23,334
They'll blow a hole through
an elephant's ass.
74
00:05:23,805 --> 00:05:25,636
Look out.
75
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,410
Oh, goddamn it!
You're gonna replace that.
76
00:05:34,383 --> 00:05:36,476
- What's he using?
- You don't wanna know.
77
00:05:36,651 --> 00:05:39,245
Dadgum it,
you just assassinated a tree.
78
00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:40,979
Got a big kick to it.
79
00:05:41,156 --> 00:05:44,057
Don't you worry. They can't touch
the General. Come on, boy.
80
00:05:51,466 --> 00:05:53,297
You missed, Jimmy!
81
00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:57,700
Can't you shoot straight? Don't point
that thing at me, you chucklehead.
82
00:05:57,873 --> 00:06:00,467
Don't call me a chucklehead.
I ain't a chucklehead.
83
00:06:01,176 --> 00:06:03,701
Hey! Get that gun out of the wheel!
84
00:06:04,346 --> 00:06:06,746
What are you doing? Hey.
Hey. What the hell?
85
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,810
- Goddamn it.
- I'm sorry, Daddy.
86
00:06:08,984 --> 00:06:10,884
Let's go after them.
87
00:06:12,788 --> 00:06:16,019
- Bo, did you see that sign?
- I can read!
88
00:06:16,191 --> 00:06:18,284
This is how you planned
on losing them?
89
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:19,950
You ain't scared, are you?
90
00:06:20,128 --> 00:06:23,154
Scared? Hell, no. I just don't
wanna hear it from Uncle Jesse...
91
00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:25,595
...when you break his bottles of shine.
92
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:28,395
I bet you the old phone book
I don't break a bottle.
93
00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:30,367
Phone book it is.
94
00:06:30,539 --> 00:06:34,202
Daddy, you get me close,
and I'll put a bullet in this son of a bitch.
95
00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:39,243
Goddamn it, Jimmy!
96
00:06:39,414 --> 00:06:42,941
Who says I can't shoot? Daddy? Daddy!
97
00:07:03,371 --> 00:07:06,272
Bo and Luke Duke.
98
00:07:06,441 --> 00:07:08,841
Cousins closer than brothers.
99
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:11,240
Both big-hearted, strong-willed...
100
00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:14,814
... and restless as a couple of cats
thrown into a swimming hole.
101
00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:43,344
Nice driving, cuz.
102
00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:48,882
What?
103
00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:55,912
- I won the bet, you son of a bitch.
- Oh, come on.
104
00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:59,060
I didn't break any bottles,
so I won the bet.
105
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:06,393
- I was just joking about the bet.
- Oh, you were joking?
106
00:08:06,568 --> 00:08:08,627
- Yeah.
- Still getting the phone book, though.
107
00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:12,671
- Come on, double or nothing.
- Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy.
108
00:08:13,808 --> 00:08:15,901
Which side you want,
right side or left?
109
00:08:17,612 --> 00:08:19,671
Right.
110
00:08:19,848 --> 00:08:21,577
Did I hear one of your teeth break?
111
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,776
I don't remember the Hazzard
phone book being that thick.
112
00:08:25,053 --> 00:08:27,248
This is Atlanta.
113
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:41,429
Bet was over. I can't believe that
happened. I mean, the bet was over.
114
00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:43,468
- What are you doing?
- Where you want it?
115
00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:47,340
- Oh, man.
- Where you want it?
116
00:08:47,509 --> 00:08:48,942
Left.
117
00:08:51,012 --> 00:08:52,707
That was a good one.
118
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:59,843
Right in the ball sack. God.
119
00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:03,516
In case of dehydration.
120
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:11,524
That'll put lead in your pencil.
121
00:09:15,904 --> 00:09:19,237
- Man, I'm already tired of walking.
- You could use a little exercise.
122
00:09:19,407 --> 00:09:21,568
Them jeans of yours
look tighter than Daisy's.
123
00:09:21,743 --> 00:09:25,144
Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer
I could beat you to The Boar's Nest.
124
00:09:25,313 --> 00:09:27,304
That's five miles.
125
00:09:36,124 --> 00:09:39,093
I'm coming! I'm coming!
126
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,027
Face!
127
00:09:51,973 --> 00:09:53,941
He came back.
128
00:09:56,144 --> 00:09:58,169
What's Billy Prickett doing here?
129
00:09:58,346 --> 00:10:00,439
Well, it looks like he's here
for the race.
130
00:10:02,851 --> 00:10:06,514
Man, those tires alone are worth
more than the General Lee.
131
00:10:07,622 --> 00:10:11,217
My, oh, my. Look at that.
Billy Prickett's car, huh?
132
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,821
What's new
in law enforcement, Enos?
133
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:17,692
- They make you lieutenant yet?
- Hell, you know that'll never happen.
134
00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:20,699
Maybe one of these days you'll
wise up and come work for us.
135
00:10:20,869 --> 00:10:22,666
We could use a man like you.
136
00:10:22,837 --> 00:10:26,500
I don't know. I don't think it's a good
time to be in the moonshine business.
137
00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:29,701
Moonshine business?
We ain't in the moonshining business.
138
00:10:31,379 --> 00:10:36,214
But if someone were in the moonshining
business, why would it be a bad time?
139
00:10:36,384 --> 00:10:39,581
Now, Luke, you know I can't say
anything. Boss Hogg'll tan my hide.
140
00:10:39,754 --> 00:10:41,244
He spanks you?
141
00:10:41,589 --> 00:10:43,921
Hey, Dil, what do you want?
We just ordered.
142
00:10:44,092 --> 00:10:47,027
By the looks of this place,
I'll take two bottles of Pepto...
143
00:10:47,195 --> 00:10:49,595
...and a shot of penicillin, right?
144
00:10:59,541 --> 00:11:01,475
Jesus, mother of Mary.
145
00:11:04,546 --> 00:11:07,037
Look away, man.
Trust me, look away.
146
00:11:07,215 --> 00:11:09,683
Don't worry about it.
I won't hurt her.
147
00:11:09,851 --> 00:11:13,480
There ain't nobody in this bar
concerned about you hurting her.
148
00:11:13,655 --> 00:11:15,384
All right, all right.
149
00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:22,256
Y'all ready to order?
150
00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,327
You better be reading
my nametag, friend.
151
00:11:27,502 --> 00:11:31,905
I am, I am. I noticed
your initials were double D.
152
00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:36,708
- Oh, sweet Jesus.
- I'll give you one more chance.
153
00:11:36,878 --> 00:11:39,972
You wanna order, or you wanna sit
around and make stupid jokes?
154
00:11:40,148 --> 00:11:42,446
Ain't gotta get fussy.
We're having a good time.
155
00:11:42,617 --> 00:11:45,484
I'll tell you what, I'll order.
We don't want no problems.
156
00:11:45,653 --> 00:11:47,883
Let's see...
157
00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:50,722
Do those legs come over easy?
158
00:11:50,992 --> 00:11:52,926
Oh, my God.
159
00:11:55,597 --> 00:11:59,089
- How about the special, sir?
- Dil Driscoll!
160
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:03,031
You stop bothering that nice girl
and pick on somebody your own size.
161
00:12:03,204 --> 00:12:05,365
- Billy Prickett.
- Hey, it's Billy Prickett!
162
00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,403
- Welcome home, boy.
- You old mule.
163
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,308
Hey.
164
00:12:13,248 --> 00:12:15,307
Why don't you cool off, Dil?
165
00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:20,077
- Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.
- My, my, my.
166
00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:24,817
Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there.
That's Billy Prickett.
167
00:12:24,993 --> 00:12:26,517
Should I buy him a drink?
168
00:12:26,694 --> 00:12:29,322
Maybe you should buy him
flowers and chocolates.
169
00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:33,627
Give me a Miller.
Make it a Löwenbräu.
170
00:12:34,803 --> 00:12:36,794
How you doing?
171
00:12:36,971 --> 00:12:40,134
Hey, Billy Prickett.
Welcome back to Hazzard.
172
00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:45,676
See, boys, I told you all the
waitresses in this place was dog ugly.
173
00:12:47,048 --> 00:12:49,812
- Man.
- I'm only fooling with you.
174
00:12:49,984 --> 00:12:51,542
Fellas, this is Bo Duke.
175
00:12:51,719 --> 00:12:55,780
Bo is looking to break my Hazzard Rally
record. What is it now, four in a row?
176
00:12:56,090 --> 00:12:57,853
Yeah, well...
177
00:12:58,026 --> 00:13:04,124
All streaks must come to an end, Bo.
I'm calling this one "the drive for five. "
178
00:13:04,299 --> 00:13:08,030
- Well, I'm looking forward to the race.
- Hey, Dil!
179
00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:10,467
This is the boy
who's trying to break my record.
180
00:13:10,638 --> 00:13:13,869
Oh, really? I'm Dil Driscoll, crew chief.
181
00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:15,475
- Bo-Bo, have a seat.
- Really?
182
00:13:17,545 --> 00:13:20,571
So, Billy, what's it like
being in the circuit?
183
00:13:20,748 --> 00:13:22,773
- Well...
- Hey, Billy, join me for a drink?
184
00:13:22,951 --> 00:13:24,543
Oh, well, you sweet little thing.
185
00:13:24,719 --> 00:13:27,882
Fellas, I'm awfully thirsty
all of a sudden.
186
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:30,456
Bo-Bo, may the best man win.
187
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:33,350
John, another round!
188
00:13:33,528 --> 00:13:37,430
So, Bo, what's the story
on that little pistol over there?
189
00:13:37,699 --> 00:13:40,827
Because she gave me a ride earlier.
190
00:13:41,269 --> 00:13:43,863
Well, actually, she's my cousin.
191
00:13:44,038 --> 00:13:46,666
Oh, really? You hitting that?
192
00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:51,070
- She's my cousin.
- Hopefully you're kissing cousins, right?
193
00:13:53,047 --> 00:13:55,982
- Come again?
- Son, all I'm really trying to ask you...
194
00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:59,313
...is if you shuck her corn.
195
00:14:03,124 --> 00:14:09,188
Now, there are certain things you just
don't say to a Duke about another Duke.
196
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:15,296
I'll shuck your corn!
197
00:14:17,805 --> 00:14:19,272
Excuse me a second.
198
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,135
Pick him up! Pick him up!
199
00:14:23,011 --> 00:14:25,309
Hey, hey. Can I get in on this?
200
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,742
- Yeah.
- Sure.
201
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,013
Oh, buddy.
202
00:14:38,459 --> 00:14:39,949
Here we go.
203
00:14:42,096 --> 00:14:44,496
Fifty bucks on the Dukes!
204
00:14:58,413 --> 00:15:00,881
- That makes two, Luke!
- Attaboy!
205
00:15:09,057 --> 00:15:11,252
Hey, Billy Prickett!
206
00:15:11,492 --> 00:15:13,357
Careful, Bo-Bo.
207
00:15:17,131 --> 00:15:18,689
Don't hit him. That's A.J. Foyt!
208
00:15:18,866 --> 00:15:20,731
- Really?
- The fourth!
209
00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:50,357
- Hey, can I hit this guy?
- Kill them all!
210
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,429
- The ribs are greasy.
- The beans are cold.
211
00:16:03,544 --> 00:16:06,672
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.
212
00:16:06,848 --> 00:16:10,511
Closest thing to law enforcement
in Hazzard County.
213
00:16:10,685 --> 00:16:14,678
Rosco's been after the Duke boys
since they started walking.
214
00:16:14,856 --> 00:16:17,484
Of course, some people say
the boys' first steps...
215
00:16:17,659 --> 00:16:22,062
... landed right on the sheriff's
last nerve.
216
00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:39,407
Dukes. Just once you two
ought to try leaving a place...
217
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:42,378
...in better shape
than it was when you walked in.
218
00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:47,385
Oh, I think your boss can afford
to replace a few broken beer mugs.
219
00:16:47,555 --> 00:16:50,524
I heard there was
a little incident earlier...
220
00:16:50,692 --> 00:16:55,891
...concerning a certain crappy
orange hot rod out at the Miller farm.
221
00:16:56,297 --> 00:16:58,925
Y'all really upset some
of them construction boys.
222
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,068
When I got there, they were not being
gentle with your beloved piece of crap.
223
00:17:04,372 --> 00:17:06,533
What'd you do, Rosco?
224
00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:10,644
I can't say she's gonna be in real good
racing shape for the rally this weekend.
225
00:17:16,117 --> 00:17:18,278
You watch yourself, hillbilly boy.
226
00:17:18,786 --> 00:17:22,688
Come on, boys. My shift's over.
I'll take you over to Cooter's.
227
00:17:22,857 --> 00:17:24,654
Come on.
228
00:17:48,182 --> 00:17:50,616
Jefferson Davis Hogg...
229
00:17:50,785 --> 00:17:54,050
... the meanest man
in Hazzard County.
230
00:17:54,222 --> 00:17:58,852
He's canny as a fox,
tough as a badger...
231
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:03,492
... and crooked as a hillbilly's smile.
232
00:18:05,199 --> 00:18:07,224
Well, Rosco.
233
00:18:09,804 --> 00:18:13,740
I see you have redecorated.
234
00:18:13,908 --> 00:18:16,968
Interesting style. What do you call it?
235
00:18:17,145 --> 00:18:20,672
- Well, sir, the Dukes...
- The Dukes.
236
00:18:20,848 --> 00:18:22,975
I had a feeling.
237
00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:32,454
I've got some important things
happening here this weekend.
238
00:18:32,627 --> 00:18:36,256
- Yes, sir.
- Are you gonna take care of the Dukes...
239
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:39,866
...or am I gonna have to make
other plans?
240
00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:42,832
I'm on top of it, Boss.
241
00:18:43,004 --> 00:18:45,529
That's what I'm afraid of.
242
00:18:48,643 --> 00:18:50,167
- You ready?
- Is it bad?
243
00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:52,107
Not good.
244
00:18:55,783 --> 00:18:58,946
Hell, this is worse than the time
you sunk it in the Tipton Swamp.
245
00:19:02,256 --> 00:19:04,451
Mostly cosmetic damage,
right, Cooter?
246
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,627
- Mostly.
- Yeah.
247
00:19:07,795 --> 00:19:12,391
- He's gonna be ready for the race, right?
- Race? Come on, Bo.
248
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:15,058
I mean, the General doesn't race.
249
00:19:15,236 --> 00:19:17,898
The General erases the competition.
250
00:19:37,058 --> 00:19:38,389
Who does this?
251
00:19:41,028 --> 00:19:45,431
It would make a nice hat or a slipper.
252
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,161
You know what? Just leave the General
here with me. I'll see if I can fix...
253
00:19:49,337 --> 00:19:52,829
I'll have it up running in no time.
Meanwhile, you boys take my truck.
254
00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:55,970
What if you need to tow somebody?
255
00:19:56,143 --> 00:19:59,772
If I can't "toe" them, I'll just finger them.
You know what I mean?
256
00:20:04,652 --> 00:20:10,591
Close one. Even shell-shocked,
he's a better driver than you are.
257
00:20:10,758 --> 00:20:12,749
- Thanks, Cooter.
- Yeah.
258
00:20:17,331 --> 00:20:18,889
Chin up.
259
00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:26,598
Daisy?
260
00:20:26,774 --> 00:20:28,867
Jesse L. Duke.
261
00:20:29,043 --> 00:20:31,841
- Uncle Jesse to you.
- Daisy.
262
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:34,982
Now, Jesse's been
two places in his life:
263
00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:37,447
Hazzard County and Korea.
264
00:20:37,618 --> 00:20:40,018
- Daisy?
- I'm in here.
265
00:20:40,187 --> 00:20:42,348
- As far as he's concerned...
- Where are you?
266
00:20:42,523 --> 00:20:43,854
I'm in the shower.
267
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:45,515
- that's one place too many.
268
00:20:45,693 --> 00:20:47,456
Ready or not, here I come.
269
00:20:55,603 --> 00:20:58,731
- How's it looking, good looking?
- Well, I fixed the vapor coils...
270
00:20:58,906 --> 00:21:02,364
...but the boiler's still slow.
You been running this around the clock?
271
00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:06,172
Them boys break more bottles than
they deliver. Eight cases this month.
272
00:21:06,447 --> 00:21:09,348
Wonder where in the hell
they are, anyway.
273
00:21:11,319 --> 00:21:13,344
It'll make you feel lots better.
274
00:21:15,923 --> 00:21:19,188
- Light the son of a bitch.
- All right.
275
00:21:24,265 --> 00:21:26,233
I feel good.
276
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,267
All right, y'all, knock off
the grab-assing over there.
277
00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:31,505
What's going on, Uncle Jesse?
278
00:21:31,672 --> 00:21:34,869
Guy come out of an antique shop
carrying a big grandfather's clock.
279
00:21:35,042 --> 00:21:37,033
Bumped into this drunk,
broke the clock.
280
00:21:37,211 --> 00:21:39,338
Guy said, "Why don't you watch
where you're going. "
281
00:21:39,513 --> 00:21:42,880
The drunk says, "Why don't you carry
a wristwatch like everybody else. "
282
00:21:44,285 --> 00:21:46,753
Know what happens
when you give a politician Viagra?
283
00:21:47,054 --> 00:21:48,646
- No.
- He gets taller.
284
00:21:49,857 --> 00:21:51,484
Here's another one for you.
285
00:21:51,659 --> 00:21:54,992
How many Dukes does it take
to screw up a moonshine delivery?
286
00:21:55,162 --> 00:21:57,653
Oh, yes, sorry about that,
Uncle Jesse. We...
287
00:22:04,438 --> 00:22:05,735
Is that Rosco?
288
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,804
Wonder what
that fat sack of shit wants.
289
00:22:09,543 --> 00:22:10,976
Come on.
290
00:22:12,513 --> 00:22:16,813
We can skip the "Hi, how are you's. "
I'm here on official police business.
291
00:22:16,984 --> 00:22:19,145
Right here, sheriff.
292
00:22:22,056 --> 00:22:23,887
Oh, that's horseshit.
You planted that.
293
00:22:28,896 --> 00:22:32,832
"By the power vested in me
by the County of Hazzard, Georgia...
294
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,093
...I hereby seize this property...
295
00:22:35,269 --> 00:22:38,864
...for the crime of producing
and distributing moonshine. "
296
00:22:40,274 --> 00:22:43,072
Now, Jesse,
we can do this the easy way...
297
00:22:43,244 --> 00:22:45,405
...or, of course...
298
00:22:47,782 --> 00:22:49,249
...there's that other way.
299
00:22:49,417 --> 00:22:52,352
- Let's try the that other way first.
- Now, hold on. Wait.
300
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,011
Only way I'm leaving this farm
is in a wooden box.
301
00:22:55,189 --> 00:22:57,089
Well...
302
00:22:58,092 --> 00:23:00,424
Hi, Dukes.
303
00:23:02,296 --> 00:23:03,786
Hi.
304
00:23:04,965 --> 00:23:06,296
Well, now.
305
00:23:07,301 --> 00:23:08,825
Lookie there.
306
00:23:09,503 --> 00:23:14,133
Moonshining.
What a shame, what a shame.
307
00:23:14,308 --> 00:23:17,471
- That ain't ours, Boss.
- Really?
308
00:23:17,645 --> 00:23:19,977
You're out of here.
309
00:23:20,147 --> 00:23:22,411
This land ain't yours anymore.
310
00:23:22,583 --> 00:23:24,608
You're gonna have to
live somewhere else...
311
00:23:24,785 --> 00:23:27,447
...and you're never gonna moonshine...
- Why, you prick!
312
00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:32,752
Watch out. I got my dog here,
and I ain't fed him, and he's real hungry.
313
00:23:33,427 --> 00:23:36,328
Easy, Jesse. Not now.
314
00:23:39,767 --> 00:23:42,861
You boys done started a fight
you can't win.
315
00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:53,510
Well, you have my sympathy.
Y'all take care, now.
316
00:23:58,919 --> 00:24:01,717
- Should've busted a cap in his ass.
- Hell, yeah.
317
00:24:01,889 --> 00:24:04,016
Hey, easy now, boys.
318
00:24:04,191 --> 00:24:07,217
Thanks for taking us in, Pauline.
We really appreciate it.
319
00:24:07,394 --> 00:24:09,191
Oh, honey, it is my pleasure.
320
00:24:09,363 --> 00:24:13,356
I left three toes in Korea for this country,
and this is the thanks I get.
321
00:24:13,534 --> 00:24:16,059
I don't understand how they
could just take your farm.
322
00:24:16,237 --> 00:24:18,137
They planted a still in our barn.
323
00:24:18,305 --> 00:24:23,038
They planted a still? Now,
why would they need to plant a still?
324
00:24:23,210 --> 00:24:26,236
Because they're too damn dumb
to find our real one.
325
00:24:26,514 --> 00:24:30,177
I was waiting on old Bill Miller
up at the truck stop last night.
326
00:24:30,351 --> 00:24:34,651
He said Boss' men seized his land
for some trumped-up charge too.
327
00:24:35,055 --> 00:24:39,014
Maybe it's got to do with all that
construction equipment up at the Millers'.
328
00:24:39,193 --> 00:24:41,627
You wanna go up there
and take a second look?
329
00:24:41,795 --> 00:24:43,729
Oh, I don't know, boys.
330
00:24:43,898 --> 00:24:45,422
Oh, now, Pauline.
331
00:24:47,635 --> 00:24:50,627
Don't worry, Uncle Jesse.
We're gonna take care of it.
332
00:24:51,238 --> 00:24:53,399
You know what's gonna happen,
don't you?
333
00:24:53,574 --> 00:24:56,600
Those two are gonna get themselves
in trouble, end up in jail...
334
00:24:56,777 --> 00:24:59,302
...and I'm gonna have to
shake my ass to get them out.
335
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,607
That's why we love you, honey.
336
00:25:05,786 --> 00:25:09,347
- Oh, goddamn it.
- Well, well, well.
337
00:25:10,658 --> 00:25:12,819
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
338
00:25:12,993 --> 00:25:15,621
What's it look like?
I'm building a doomsday machine...
339
00:25:15,796 --> 00:25:18,162
...gonna aim it right up
your heinie hole.
340
00:25:18,432 --> 00:25:20,662
You stupid enough to think
you can fix this?
341
00:25:20,834 --> 00:25:23,234
- I'm fixing to fix it.
- Oh, you fixing to fix it.
342
00:25:23,404 --> 00:25:26,373
You couldn't fix an election
if your brother was the governor.
343
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,631
What do you want, Rosco?
344
00:25:28,809 --> 00:25:33,940
This here vehicle, it was used in the
illegal transportation of moonshine.
345
00:25:34,114 --> 00:25:35,706
Boss wants it impounded.
346
00:25:35,883 --> 00:25:38,716
It ain't running right now,
and my tow truck ain't here...
347
00:25:38,886 --> 00:25:40,786
...so unless you stick it up your ass...
348
00:25:40,955 --> 00:25:43,480
Hey, one way or another,
grease monkey...
349
00:25:43,657 --> 00:25:46,649
...tomorrow I'm auctioning off
this hunk of junk.
350
00:25:46,827 --> 00:25:49,261
So y'all have a good night, now, okay?
351
00:25:52,499 --> 00:25:56,629
I got two words for you:
Soap and water.
352
00:25:58,005 --> 00:26:00,166
That's three words.
353
00:26:00,341 --> 00:26:02,138
Stupid.
354
00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:11,045
Hey, man, this is Cooter.
355
00:26:11,218 --> 00:26:14,745
Round up the fellas.
I got a job for them.
356
00:26:18,592 --> 00:26:20,822
Lot of equipment there
for an abandoned farm.
357
00:26:20,995 --> 00:26:24,431
Yeah, and that fence went up
pretty quick too, huh?
358
00:26:24,832 --> 00:26:27,824
- Let's go ditch the truck.
- All right.
359
00:26:53,060 --> 00:26:56,029
Well, ain't that cute,
a man taking his pig for a walk.
360
00:27:01,035 --> 00:27:02,434
Come on.
361
00:27:11,078 --> 00:27:12,875
What now?
362
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,254
Lookie here, Bo.
363
00:27:22,790 --> 00:27:26,590
He's got our farm marked, right next
to the Millers' and the Robinsons'.
364
00:27:27,928 --> 00:27:31,125
What the hell does he want
with all this land?
365
00:27:31,298 --> 00:27:33,425
I don't know.
366
00:27:34,635 --> 00:27:38,594
But I tell you what,
if I was incriminating information...
367
00:27:38,772 --> 00:27:41,935
...I'd be hiding in that big,
huge son of a bitch.
368
00:27:42,309 --> 00:27:45,472
- How are we supposed to open that?
- I don't know about you...
369
00:27:45,646 --> 00:27:48,410
... but I'd sure hate to be
that safe right now.
370
00:27:48,849 --> 00:27:50,578
Yeah!
371
00:28:04,164 --> 00:28:07,156
Holy shit.
372
00:28:17,945 --> 00:28:19,776
Hope they got e-mail.
373
00:28:32,659 --> 00:28:34,559
Oh, dear.
374
00:28:45,172 --> 00:28:47,140
What the hell?
375
00:28:51,078 --> 00:28:52,477
It's stuck on a pole.
376
00:28:52,846 --> 00:28:55,371
I'll check it.
377
00:29:08,228 --> 00:29:11,391
- Give it some gas!
- Okay!
378
00:29:17,471 --> 00:29:21,669
- Hey, give it a little more gas!
- Okay!
379
00:29:21,842 --> 00:29:25,073
- Hey, Bo, hold up!
- Okay!
380
00:29:25,446 --> 00:29:27,209
Hey! No, Bo! No!
381
00:29:27,381 --> 00:29:29,212
Okay!
382
00:29:31,351 --> 00:29:34,013
- Yeah!
- Bo!
383
00:29:35,756 --> 00:29:38,554
- No, Bo!
- Sorry, cuz.
384
00:29:38,725 --> 00:29:40,556
You'd do the same thing to me.
385
00:29:40,727 --> 00:29:42,558
Bo!
386
00:29:48,535 --> 00:29:50,503
Bo, damn it!
387
00:29:51,772 --> 00:29:53,706
Hold on, little buddy!
388
00:29:57,878 --> 00:29:59,937
Oh, shit!
389
00:30:07,054 --> 00:30:08,521
Bo, you son of a...
390
00:30:28,442 --> 00:30:32,503
I said, no, Bo. No!
391
00:30:35,048 --> 00:30:38,347
I thought you said, "Go, Bo. Go. "
392
00:30:38,519 --> 00:30:40,453
You see how that sounds kind of..?
393
00:30:44,358 --> 00:30:47,521
Hey, you know what?
Sheev lives near here.
394
00:30:47,694 --> 00:30:49,753
Maybe he can help us
open this thing up, huh?
395
00:30:50,697 --> 00:30:52,460
Yeah.
396
00:30:53,967 --> 00:30:56,561
Okay. We'll go to Sheev's.
397
00:31:05,512 --> 00:31:08,811
Rosco, this here's Chip.
398
00:31:08,982 --> 00:31:11,246
You might wanna call Hogg...
399
00:31:11,418 --> 00:31:16,185
...and tell him them two fellers,
they made off with his safe.
400
00:31:16,356 --> 00:31:19,484
And I might need a ride too.
401
00:31:24,498 --> 00:31:27,467
Boss, what kind of mood you in?
402
00:31:27,668 --> 00:31:30,831
I'm in a crawfish-boiling mood.
403
00:31:31,872 --> 00:31:36,309
Well, it seems that the Duke boys...
404
00:31:36,476 --> 00:31:38,967
...have stolen your safe.
405
00:31:43,984 --> 00:31:47,283
I am officially upgrading the Dukes...
406
00:31:47,454 --> 00:31:52,255
...from "fly in my ointment"
to "thorn in my side. "
407
00:31:52,426 --> 00:31:56,988
And if they happen to elevate
themselves to "pain in my ass"...
408
00:31:57,164 --> 00:32:02,192
...then I'm gonna boil you. Got it?
409
00:32:02,369 --> 00:32:04,701
- Yes, sir.
- Now...
410
00:32:04,871 --> 00:32:08,864
...I want you to find the Dukes
and lock them up.
411
00:32:09,042 --> 00:32:13,479
Oh, and bring me my damn safe back.
412
00:32:13,647 --> 00:32:15,444
Yes, sir.
413
00:32:20,287 --> 00:32:21,584
Flash.
414
00:32:34,001 --> 00:32:35,593
Evening, Sheev.
415
00:32:38,171 --> 00:32:39,798
Sheev.
416
00:32:48,582 --> 00:32:52,382
I'm looking for them Duke boys.
You seen them?
417
00:32:54,688 --> 00:32:57,816
They was last seen
heading up this road here.
418
00:32:59,626 --> 00:33:03,153
You still got them CIA mind probes
stuck in your head, boy?
419
00:33:03,330 --> 00:33:05,924
Far as I know.
420
00:33:06,099 --> 00:33:09,068
Good.
Keep your little antennae up there...
421
00:33:09,236 --> 00:33:12,865
...in case you see the Dukes,
you let me know, you hear?
422
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,632
Yeah.
423
00:33:17,611 --> 00:33:19,909
Stinks out here, you know that?
424
00:33:32,159 --> 00:33:34,184
- Is he gone, Sheev?
- He's gone.
425
00:33:43,570 --> 00:33:45,697
- Prickett, Prickett.
- It means a lot to me...
426
00:33:45,872 --> 00:33:47,999
... to be invited here
back to my hometown.
427
00:33:48,175 --> 00:33:50,336
I hope to remind
the good people of Hazzard...
428
00:33:50,510 --> 00:33:54,276
- ... what it feels like to be proud again.
- We love you, Billy!
429
00:33:54,648 --> 00:33:58,584
And I hope to remind the good people
of Hazzard to come out to the rally...
430
00:33:58,752 --> 00:34:01,243
... and cheer their favorite son,
Billy Prickett!
431
00:34:03,657 --> 00:34:06,251
And I'm declaring today
Billy Prickett Day.
432
00:34:08,095 --> 00:34:10,359
You're too kind.
I just hope, come Saturday...
433
00:34:10,530 --> 00:34:13,090
... I'm not too hazardous on the roads.
434
00:34:14,501 --> 00:34:16,401
"Hazardous on the roads. "
435
00:34:16,737 --> 00:34:19,297
- This one's for you!
- This is Tammy Arinder...
436
00:34:19,473 --> 00:34:21,941
... at the parade, for WCNU News.
437
00:34:22,109 --> 00:34:24,270
Seeing Billy Prickett race in person?
438
00:34:24,444 --> 00:34:27,174
That might be worth
putting my pants on for.
439
00:34:27,347 --> 00:34:30,316
- Bo, you racing on Saturday?
- I'm planning on it.
440
00:34:30,584 --> 00:34:32,711
What's the prize for second place?
441
00:34:34,488 --> 00:34:36,251
Gonna be good.
Tough one, good luck.
442
00:34:36,423 --> 00:34:39,051
It's a little weird
he's coming back here to race.
443
00:34:39,226 --> 00:34:43,322
Life's weird, Luke. Someday
you're gonna have to accept that.
444
00:34:46,333 --> 00:34:49,666
Well, okay.
Let's take a look at that lockbox.
445
00:34:51,238 --> 00:34:53,763
Oh, yeah. Liberty 400.
446
00:34:54,241 --> 00:34:57,267
High-density,
9200-psi composite material.
447
00:34:57,444 --> 00:34:59,776
Two-inch chrome bolts,
vertical and horizontal.
448
00:34:59,946 --> 00:35:03,712
And a spring-loaded, independent
relocking device, with a foreign body.
449
00:35:03,884 --> 00:35:07,251
- She's a beauty.
- Can you crack it?
450
00:35:07,420 --> 00:35:09,888
I'm gonna do more than crack it.
451
00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:13,052
Goddamn it.
452
00:35:17,597 --> 00:35:21,727
Armadillo. They've been infiltrating
my perimeter all summer.
453
00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:25,360
- The hell you do with them?
- I make helmets.
454
00:35:25,539 --> 00:35:29,407
Armadillo helmets can block
even the best brain-wave scanners.
455
00:35:29,576 --> 00:35:31,737
Make a pretty good soup bowl too.
456
00:35:31,912 --> 00:35:34,745
So okay. I'm gonna
go to work on this thing.
457
00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:38,749
While I do, would you be a dear, Bo,
and go grab me that armadillo?
458
00:35:41,855 --> 00:35:43,686
Thanks.
459
00:35:45,091 --> 00:35:47,184
Man, he looks pissed off.
460
00:35:49,095 --> 00:35:52,292
Come on, y'all! That was a good one.
461
00:35:52,732 --> 00:35:55,496
All right, maybe you could
take it off now.
462
00:35:55,802 --> 00:35:58,532
Got a real nice deal on this stuff.
Government issue.
463
00:35:58,705 --> 00:36:02,266
Only expired about six months ago,
so should have a real nice pop.
464
00:36:03,243 --> 00:36:05,803
Yeah! Cooter's got
the General running.
465
00:36:06,513 --> 00:36:09,778
- Might be able to race on Saturday.
- Really?
466
00:36:09,950 --> 00:36:13,181
We gotta get it out of there tonight.
Rosco wants to impound it.
467
00:36:13,353 --> 00:36:15,378
Watch your ass, fellas.
468
00:36:21,995 --> 00:36:24,429
This is the fastest-burning
fuse you got, Sheev?
469
00:36:24,598 --> 00:36:26,361
It's a Chinese fuse.
470
00:36:39,312 --> 00:36:41,576
- Might be a wet fuse.
- Well, should we check it?
471
00:36:41,748 --> 00:36:44,581
Depends if you like how your face
is configured, pretty boy.
472
00:36:44,751 --> 00:36:46,446
I think you got the wires backwards.
473
00:36:46,620 --> 00:36:49,020
They're supposed to be.
It's a Chinese fuse.
474
00:36:49,189 --> 00:36:51,384
No, backwards from how
they're supposed to be.
475
00:36:51,558 --> 00:36:54,152
You ever been to China?
Have you ever been to China?
476
00:36:54,327 --> 00:36:55,760
I ate Chinese food once.
477
00:36:55,929 --> 00:36:58,454
Well, you don't blow up
mu shu pork, my friend.
478
00:36:58,632 --> 00:37:00,156
I dated a Korean girl in school.
479
00:37:00,333 --> 00:37:02,893
That is a different Oriental nation.
Get an education.
480
00:37:03,069 --> 00:37:05,503
- You got the fuse wrong.
- You know nothing about...
481
00:37:05,672 --> 00:37:08,300
...Chino-Sino-American relations.
- You're missing the point.
482
00:37:19,953 --> 00:37:21,853
Might've used too much.
483
00:37:25,659 --> 00:37:28,093
Man, that rattled my sphincter.
484
00:37:32,098 --> 00:37:35,033
What the hell is that? Drugs?
485
00:37:35,201 --> 00:37:36,896
Don't look like no drugs I ever saw.
486
00:37:37,237 --> 00:37:41,196
- What the hell are these numbers?
- It's a core sample.
487
00:37:41,541 --> 00:37:45,944
Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample,
send it to the lab, see what they got.
488
00:37:46,112 --> 00:37:48,171
- Core samples of what?
- How should I know?
489
00:37:48,348 --> 00:37:52,182
Am I wearing a white coat here?
I cut bait and blow shit up for a living.
490
00:37:52,352 --> 00:37:56,345
- Take it to a lab.
- I don't know, maybe at the university?
491
00:37:56,523 --> 00:38:00,357
- Katie-Lynn Johnson's at the university.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
492
00:38:00,527 --> 00:38:03,325
Man, I always had a thing for that girl.
493
00:38:03,496 --> 00:38:06,863
Remember she used to come by
the farm with those tight little outfits?
494
00:38:07,033 --> 00:38:10,696
- No, I can't say I remember that.
- I thought I had her too.
495
00:38:10,870 --> 00:38:14,772
Then she pulled a goddamn Keyser Soze
on me, and like that...
496
00:38:14,941 --> 00:38:16,533
...she was gone.
497
00:38:16,710 --> 00:38:18,871
You don't remember that?
498
00:38:19,045 --> 00:38:20,410
Well, okay.
499
00:38:20,580 --> 00:38:24,277
Unless you need something else blown,
I'll go inside and wash my mongoose.
500
00:38:27,487 --> 00:38:29,250
Okay.
501
00:38:30,223 --> 00:38:32,691
Come on, Luke. Let's get the General.
502
00:38:32,959 --> 00:38:35,223
Why don't we have Cooter stash that.
503
00:38:35,395 --> 00:38:37,454
We'll take his truck,
head to the highway...
504
00:38:37,630 --> 00:38:42,090
How would you feel if the General and I
went to Atlanta and left you behind?
505
00:39:09,529 --> 00:39:11,156
Ain't she a Georgia peach?
506
00:39:11,331 --> 00:39:13,492
What'd you do,
make a deal with the devil?
507
00:39:13,867 --> 00:39:16,700
Luke. Luke. Is that a Hemi?
508
00:39:18,938 --> 00:39:21,907
Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg
reenactment every other Sunday.
509
00:39:22,075 --> 00:39:24,236
So we figured,
why not let General Lee win one?
510
00:39:24,711 --> 00:39:27,305
I don't know how
we're gonna pay you back, Cooter.
511
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:31,109
Would a BJ from Daisy be within
the realm of possibility?
512
00:39:31,284 --> 00:39:33,184
Not gonna happen.
513
00:39:33,353 --> 00:39:36,186
How about a pair
of her still-warm shorts?
514
00:39:36,356 --> 00:39:37,721
All right.
515
00:39:37,891 --> 00:39:41,554
Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally.
That's thanks enough.
516
00:39:41,728 --> 00:39:45,858
And when you get that prize money, you
pay me, because that's how it works.
517
00:39:46,032 --> 00:39:48,262
I love you, Cooter.
518
00:39:50,236 --> 00:39:52,830
- I didn't have time to fix everything.
- Right.
519
00:39:55,542 --> 00:39:57,510
Let's get that car.
520
00:40:24,404 --> 00:40:27,567
Get in your cars and get them!
Get after them! Now!
521
00:40:27,740 --> 00:40:29,833
Cooter!
522
00:40:35,482 --> 00:40:37,347
All right.
523
00:40:38,885 --> 00:40:41,581
That's so good, man.
524
00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:46,124
Enough.
525
00:40:46,292 --> 00:40:50,251
Man, I'm never gonna get out
of this car again. I'm gonna live in it.
526
00:40:50,430 --> 00:40:53,228
I'm gonna eat in it.
And I'm gonna make sweet love to it.
527
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,668
You mean you gonna make
sweet love in it.
528
00:40:55,835 --> 00:40:57,427
Oh, no, I wanna fuck it.
529
00:40:57,604 --> 00:41:00,334
All units, we are in hot pursuit
of them Duke boys...
530
00:41:00,507 --> 00:41:03,943
...in their piece-of-shit orange car.
531
00:41:06,679 --> 00:41:08,442
"Piece of... " You son of a bitch.
532
00:41:27,467 --> 00:41:29,094
Hey! Get back here!
533
00:41:29,335 --> 00:41:32,202
- Lost Sheep, you out there?
- Hey, Cooter.
534
00:41:32,372 --> 00:41:35,808
These fellas ain't gonna be
doing much chasing.
535
00:41:35,975 --> 00:41:39,035
- Thanks, man.
- I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett.
536
00:41:39,212 --> 00:41:40,907
How about we go to Atlanta first?
537
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,605
All right, cuz.
538
00:41:45,919 --> 00:41:49,946
Oh, look at that.
There's your problem right there.
539
00:41:50,123 --> 00:41:51,488
Yeah, that's a shame.
540
00:41:53,626 --> 00:41:56,094
Let's go to Atlanta.
541
00:42:05,939 --> 00:42:07,907
Luke.
542
00:42:08,074 --> 00:42:09,803
Luke.
543
00:42:11,244 --> 00:42:16,181
I know why it didn't work out with
me and Katie before. It was just timing.
544
00:42:16,349 --> 00:42:18,977
Life is all about timing, you know?
545
00:42:19,285 --> 00:42:22,812
It's my time now.
I'm gonna win that race on Saturday.
546
00:42:22,989 --> 00:42:26,720
We're gonna get the farm back.
I got my BFF, you.
547
00:42:27,694 --> 00:42:30,527
And I'm gonna get Katie Johnson,
you watch.
548
00:42:34,901 --> 00:42:37,028
It's my time.
549
00:42:38,404 --> 00:42:41,771
What's going on?
550
00:42:44,544 --> 00:42:49,277
Yeah, baby!
Southern by the grace of God!
551
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,279
Well, at least we know
they're nice up here.
552
00:42:55,521 --> 00:42:59,082
Hurry up, you're late
for your Klan meeting, asshole.
553
00:42:59,259 --> 00:43:01,819
- Klan meeting?
- Don't listen to her.
554
00:43:01,995 --> 00:43:05,396
The South will rise again.
555
00:43:05,565 --> 00:43:07,829
Yee-haw, brother!
556
00:43:08,001 --> 00:43:10,060
What the hell's wrong
with these people?
557
00:43:10,236 --> 00:43:13,433
Nice roof, redneck.
Join us in the 21st century?
558
00:43:21,881 --> 00:43:24,645
We're gonna make
some friends up here, huh?
559
00:43:33,860 --> 00:43:36,488
Oh, excuse me.
Can I help you, ma'am?
560
00:43:36,663 --> 00:43:38,494
Daisy! Oh, boy.
561
00:43:38,665 --> 00:43:41,065
Enos, what's Boss doing
taking all that land?
562
00:43:41,234 --> 00:43:45,432
I don't know. They won't tell me. You
gotta go. I'm supposed to arrest you.
563
00:43:45,605 --> 00:43:48,301
- Come on, I'm serious.
- Get. Get out of here.
564
00:43:48,474 --> 00:43:51,637
Hey. You Anus?
565
00:43:52,211 --> 00:43:54,179
No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett.
566
00:43:55,915 --> 00:43:59,248
Sorry about that. Is Hogg around?
He asked me to come by.
567
00:43:59,419 --> 00:44:03,879
Oh, yeah. He's out back
in the garage, Mr. Prickett.
568
00:44:05,291 --> 00:44:07,555
Well, howdy, ma'am.
How are you today?
569
00:44:07,727 --> 00:44:10,093
It's just right on out back there.
I'll show you.
570
00:44:10,263 --> 00:44:13,198
Yep, head out that way.
571
00:44:16,202 --> 00:44:18,363
There you go.
572
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,340
There he is.
573
00:44:22,508 --> 00:44:24,476
- Hometown hero.
- Hogg.
574
00:44:24,644 --> 00:44:26,339
- How you doing, son?
- Well...
575
00:44:26,512 --> 00:44:29,777
...this is a great place to crap,
but I'm ready to head to Atlanta.
576
00:44:29,949 --> 00:44:31,348
Not before the race.
577
00:44:31,684 --> 00:44:33,845
Don't you worry about that.
578
00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:37,421
I want you down at that finish line.
Sign autographs for the kids.
579
00:44:37,590 --> 00:44:39,524
- Yeah, I know the drill.
- I know you do.
580
00:44:39,692 --> 00:44:42,684
But I need you there for two hours, son.
Two hours.
581
00:44:42,862 --> 00:44:44,989
Kissing hands and shaking babies.
582
00:44:45,164 --> 00:44:48,827
You got that backwards.
It's shaking hands and kiss the babies.
583
00:44:49,001 --> 00:44:52,960
Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why I lost
that governor's election in '86.
584
00:44:57,677 --> 00:44:59,770
Hogg, what the hell am I doing here?
585
00:44:59,946 --> 00:45:01,914
Rosco.
586
00:45:04,984 --> 00:45:07,748
Whoa, what is this?
You off the reservation?
587
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,684
See how it kind of catches me
around the eyes there?
588
00:45:10,857 --> 00:45:14,156
Look here, I already got sponsors.
589
00:45:14,327 --> 00:45:17,125
What am I supposed
to tell Castrol, Yahoo!?
590
00:45:17,296 --> 00:45:19,730
Tell them it's for charity.
591
00:45:19,899 --> 00:45:22,163
- Is it?
- Sure. Could be.
592
00:45:23,469 --> 00:45:27,098
Whatever you say.
I'm gonna win that race by a mile.
593
00:45:27,273 --> 00:45:29,833
It don't matter whose face
is on my car when I do.
594
00:45:30,009 --> 00:45:35,242
I don't need you to win the race.
I just need you to show up.
595
00:45:48,361 --> 00:45:50,795
Hey there, Mr. Prickett.
596
00:45:50,963 --> 00:45:53,397
Well, hello, Daisy.
597
00:45:53,566 --> 00:45:58,697
I was just walking by, and I saw your car
in the garage there. She's real sexy.
598
00:45:58,871 --> 00:46:02,204
Well, thank you.
She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine.
599
00:46:02,375 --> 00:46:04,138
Yeah, I know.
600
00:46:04,310 --> 00:46:07,040
Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg
on your car, though?
601
00:46:07,213 --> 00:46:09,340
- Yeah, well, he...
- I read somewhere...
602
00:46:09,515 --> 00:46:15,215
...that Coca-Cola pays you over
$ 100,000 to put their logo on your door.
603
00:46:15,388 --> 00:46:17,117
- You read that?
- That same article...
604
00:46:17,290 --> 00:46:20,123
...mentioned that Budweiser
pays you over $ 100,000...
605
00:46:20,293 --> 00:46:22,921
...to put their logo on your trunk.
- Look, Daisy...
606
00:46:23,095 --> 00:46:25,996
...I'm not much of a reader.
- Boss Hogg's face is sitting...
607
00:46:26,165 --> 00:46:29,828
...on over $200,000 worth
of real estate.
608
00:46:30,136 --> 00:46:31,535
Is that what he's paying you?
609
00:46:31,704 --> 00:46:36,334
Oh, no, no, Daisy,
this race here is for charity.
610
00:46:36,509 --> 00:46:38,500
Really? Which one?
611
00:46:40,346 --> 00:46:41,870
Anal bifida.
612
00:46:42,048 --> 00:46:43,709
Spinal bifida.
613
00:46:44,050 --> 00:46:45,608
It's one of the bifidas.
614
00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:51,554
Have I told you that you're as purty
as a Hazzard County sunset?
615
00:46:51,724 --> 00:46:54,955
Have a good day, Mr. Prickett.
616
00:46:55,127 --> 00:46:57,493
Okay.
617
00:47:15,181 --> 00:47:17,672
Lot of smart people out there.
618
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,001
Look out, Katie.
619
00:47:46,379 --> 00:47:48,574
Hello. Hi.
620
00:47:48,915 --> 00:47:50,405
- Hello.
- Hello.
621
00:47:50,583 --> 00:47:53,711
- Oh, boy.
- Hi.
622
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:58,747
You don't think it's too late
to take them SATs, do you?
623
00:48:02,895 --> 00:48:05,523
You gotta keep an open mind
in college.
624
00:48:07,266 --> 00:48:10,531
This is it, Luke. I can feel it.
625
00:48:10,703 --> 00:48:13,263
Hey, do you know
where Katie Johnson is?
626
00:48:13,439 --> 00:48:15,304
I think she's in that room right there.
627
00:48:15,474 --> 00:48:17,465
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
628
00:48:20,279 --> 00:48:22,770
- I got a great opening line for Katie.
- What is it?
629
00:48:22,949 --> 00:48:24,712
You'll see.
630
00:48:24,884 --> 00:48:27,751
- Katie Johnson?
- She's down the hall.
631
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:31,447
- Cool.
- Come on, down the hall.
632
00:48:34,193 --> 00:48:36,320
Katie Johnson?
633
00:48:36,495 --> 00:48:39,760
- She's down the hall.
- Do you guys go to school here?
634
00:48:40,766 --> 00:48:42,961
No, but do you have an application?
635
00:48:43,502 --> 00:48:44,901
Not on me.
636
00:48:46,739 --> 00:48:49,105
Come on, now, focus.
637
00:48:54,447 --> 00:48:56,347
Let's hope she's not in here either.
638
00:48:56,515 --> 00:48:59,313
- Katie Johnson?
- Fuck me running!
639
00:48:59,819 --> 00:49:02,720
- You looking for Katie?
- We were.
640
00:49:03,089 --> 00:49:05,922
- You guys Hacky?
- Hacky!
641
00:49:06,092 --> 00:49:09,220
- What about Katie?
- Maybe she's in here.
642
00:49:16,268 --> 00:49:18,793
Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke.
643
00:49:19,170 --> 00:49:21,001
I guess she wasn't in there.
644
00:49:21,172 --> 00:49:23,766
- We didn't check under the couch.
- Luke! Bo!
645
00:49:23,942 --> 00:49:26,069
- Katie.
- Katie-Lynn.
646
00:49:30,482 --> 00:49:32,609
So he's still doing that?
647
00:49:34,152 --> 00:49:37,019
- Did I just faint?
- No.
648
00:49:37,188 --> 00:49:39,452
Oh, my God. I can't believe y'all came.
649
00:49:40,492 --> 00:49:43,427
We just wanna pay you visit,
the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
650
00:49:43,795 --> 00:49:45,626
What?
651
00:49:45,797 --> 00:49:49,289
We just wanna pay a visit
to the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
652
00:49:49,467 --> 00:49:52,527
That's sweet. I can't believe
what happened to y'all's farm.
653
00:49:52,704 --> 00:49:54,296
We're gonna get it back.
654
00:49:54,472 --> 00:49:57,305
I love that farm.
I used to have so much fun there.
655
00:49:57,909 --> 00:49:59,604
- See?
- This is my roommate, Annette.
656
00:49:59,778 --> 00:50:02,303
- Annette, this is Bo and Luke.
- Nice to meet you.
657
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,711
- Ma'am.
- Annette's from Australia.
658
00:50:06,017 --> 00:50:09,248
Let's put another shrimp
on the barbie!
659
00:50:12,490 --> 00:50:14,822
- That's what they say there.
- Okay.
660
00:50:14,993 --> 00:50:16,961
What do y'all need
in the geology lab?
661
00:50:17,128 --> 00:50:19,824
It has something to do
with them taking our farm...
662
00:50:19,998 --> 00:50:22,626
...but we don't know
what the hell it is.
663
00:50:24,169 --> 00:50:27,002
I don't know that they'll let y'all in,
but we'll take you.
664
00:50:27,172 --> 00:50:30,437
- We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs.
- We're gonna wait here.
665
00:50:30,609 --> 00:50:32,804
Downstairs is fine.
666
00:50:36,414 --> 00:50:39,406
It's happening, Luke.
It's all happening.
667
00:50:48,193 --> 00:50:49,956
I'll give you that, Jesse.
668
00:50:50,128 --> 00:50:53,154
- I'll give you that.
- Will you now?
669
00:50:54,265 --> 00:50:57,098
What are you doing with my land,
Jefferson?
670
00:50:57,869 --> 00:50:59,928
Ain't your land anymore.
671
00:51:00,472 --> 00:51:03,839
Wasn't that long ago you was
a moonshiner too. Remember?
672
00:51:04,009 --> 00:51:05,909
Well, I have reformed from my sins.
673
00:51:06,077 --> 00:51:08,602
I am now an honest businessman.
674
00:51:08,780 --> 00:51:10,509
Like sponsoring racecars?
675
00:51:10,715 --> 00:51:13,912
What are you getting out of bringing
Billy Prickett down here?
676
00:51:15,587 --> 00:51:19,580
You know, your nephew's won that race
four years in a row.
677
00:51:19,758 --> 00:51:23,421
Now, who's gonna fault me
for breaking up a dynasty?
678
00:51:23,595 --> 00:51:25,688
Well, I know you're rich,
and I know you stink.
679
00:51:25,864 --> 00:51:27,695
But you ain't stinking rich.
680
00:51:27,866 --> 00:51:30,130
You wouldn't be throwing
that money at Prickett...
681
00:51:30,301 --> 00:51:32,963
...unless you thought he was
gonna earn you 10 times that.
682
00:51:33,138 --> 00:51:37,939
You're a smart man.
So why don't you do the smart thing.
683
00:51:38,109 --> 00:51:41,135
Why don't you take your family
and leave.
684
00:51:41,312 --> 00:51:44,907
Because, see, now I own that farm.
685
00:51:45,083 --> 00:51:48,541
And you ain't never gonna get it back.
686
00:52:00,265 --> 00:52:03,166
I have all the cards, Jesse.
687
00:52:03,334 --> 00:52:05,029
You don't have spit.
688
00:52:05,503 --> 00:52:07,596
It ain't over yet.
689
00:52:12,377 --> 00:52:15,471
Hey, Bo, I love your car.
She really rumbles.
690
00:52:15,747 --> 00:52:18,477
It's actually a he. Right, Katie?
691
00:52:25,390 --> 00:52:26,982
I ain't even speeding.
692
00:52:44,943 --> 00:52:47,241
You know how fast you were going?
693
00:52:47,412 --> 00:52:52,213
- What?
- How fast you were going.
694
00:52:53,118 --> 00:52:55,951
- I don't know. Ten?
- Eight.
695
00:52:56,121 --> 00:53:01,149
- Isn't the speed limit 10?
- Yeah. It is.
696
00:53:01,626 --> 00:53:04,117
You guys police?
697
00:53:04,295 --> 00:53:05,922
Campus police.
698
00:53:12,570 --> 00:53:14,595
Mother of God.
699
00:53:23,581 --> 00:53:25,105
Oh, wait.
700
00:53:35,593 --> 00:53:39,620
I know it's a shame to hide your beauty
like this, but it's for your own good.
701
00:53:39,798 --> 00:53:41,197
What?
702
00:53:41,766 --> 00:53:44,064
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
That's crazy.
703
00:53:44,369 --> 00:53:48,203
I know, I'll miss you too.
I'll be right back.
704
00:53:48,773 --> 00:53:51,606
All right, let's go. Let's go.
705
00:53:57,148 --> 00:54:01,482
Katie-Lynn seems like a girl you could
settle down with, don't you think, Luke?
706
00:54:01,653 --> 00:54:03,416
- Yeah.
- I don't know, fellas.
707
00:54:03,588 --> 00:54:05,852
I don't think they're gonna
let us walk in.
708
00:54:06,024 --> 00:54:10,688
You'll think of something, Katie.
You always do. Remember that..?
709
00:54:10,862 --> 00:54:13,490
Oh, you're so pretty.
710
00:54:25,243 --> 00:54:27,768
I have an idea.
711
00:54:34,752 --> 00:54:38,153
- Can I help you?
- You're just the guy we're looking for...
712
00:54:38,323 --> 00:54:40,052
- Royce.
- Royce..?
713
00:54:40,225 --> 00:54:43,956
- Royce Williams.
- Royce Williams, maybe you can help us.
714
00:54:44,128 --> 00:54:49,259
We're here looking for the brightest
young geologists for high-paying jobs.
715
00:54:49,434 --> 00:54:50,924
Maybe you've been by our booth.
716
00:54:51,102 --> 00:54:54,435
- You're from Kamasaka Technologies?
- That's right.
717
00:54:54,606 --> 00:54:58,440
I'm Mr. Ichinowa,
and this is my colleague...
718
00:54:58,610 --> 00:55:00,100
...Yoko Takanoshi.
719
00:55:01,713 --> 00:55:03,044
Right on.
720
00:55:03,848 --> 00:55:05,645
You said you were Japanese?
721
00:55:06,217 --> 00:55:07,445
We converted.
722
00:55:09,087 --> 00:55:12,579
Your professor tells us you're some
kind of super-genius or something.
723
00:55:12,757 --> 00:55:16,955
- Really? On my last test I got a C-minus.
- Hey, that's good.
724
00:55:17,128 --> 00:55:20,188
- That's real good.
- You think..?
725
00:55:20,365 --> 00:55:22,663
You just might be
Kamasaka Tech material.
726
00:55:23,268 --> 00:55:25,600
You just gotta pass this one little test.
727
00:55:25,770 --> 00:55:29,570
You just tell us what this is right here.
728
00:55:29,807 --> 00:55:32,071
Looks like a core sample.
729
00:55:32,243 --> 00:55:35,371
- Man, that's good.
- He's good.
730
00:55:35,546 --> 00:55:39,141
- Core sample of what?
- Oh, of course.
731
00:55:55,767 --> 00:55:58,565
- What are you doing?
- What?
732
00:55:58,736 --> 00:56:02,900
- What the fuck was that?
- Relax.
733
00:56:12,317 --> 00:56:14,114
Damn! Damn!
734
00:56:14,585 --> 00:56:16,280
These are my good Levi's.
735
00:56:16,454 --> 00:56:18,547
Let's not lose focus here, Royce.
736
00:56:18,723 --> 00:56:20,281
Yes, sir, Mr. Takanoshi.
737
00:56:20,458 --> 00:56:23,086
- What'd you call me?
- Mr. Takanoshi?
738
00:56:23,695 --> 00:56:26,823
Right. That's my name.
739
00:56:28,132 --> 00:56:32,034
- Thought it might be drugs or something.
- I think I know what it is.
740
00:56:44,649 --> 00:56:47,117
Are you really with
Kamasaka Technologies?
741
00:56:47,285 --> 00:56:50,049
Damn it, we are high-powered
Japanese executives.
742
00:56:50,221 --> 00:56:52,849
We work hard,
and we play even harder.
743
00:56:53,024 --> 00:56:54,719
Now, tell us what you see there...
744
00:56:54,892 --> 00:56:57,918
...or we'll go find another candidate
at Georgia Polytech.
745
00:56:58,096 --> 00:57:00,963
It's anthracite.
746
00:57:01,499 --> 00:57:04,798
- Coal.
- Coal in Hazzard?
747
00:57:04,969 --> 00:57:08,166
- What's the street value of this?
- This much? Nothing.
748
00:57:08,339 --> 00:57:10,773
A good-sized mine? Could be millions.
749
00:57:11,175 --> 00:57:13,666
Can you show us what
a good-sized mine looks like?
750
00:57:13,845 --> 00:57:15,938
Yeah.
751
00:57:18,850 --> 00:57:22,342
Here's what it used to look like.
And this is the after.
752
00:57:27,058 --> 00:57:29,185
Damn.
753
00:57:29,594 --> 00:57:33,496
- Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard?
- The hell he is.
754
00:57:33,731 --> 00:57:36,632
Mr. Kamasaka? We have to go.
The plane is leaving.
755
00:57:36,801 --> 00:57:40,794
Congratulations, Royce. You got the job.
How does 24,000 yen a year sound?
756
00:57:41,139 --> 00:57:43,004
Sounds like 40 bucks.
757
00:57:43,174 --> 00:57:44,505
Way to go.
758
00:57:44,675 --> 00:57:48,076
All right, man. See you in Beijing.
759
00:57:52,050 --> 00:57:55,952
- You see two guys come through here?
- You mean those two Japanese guys?
760
00:58:15,106 --> 00:58:17,700
Get me Atlanta P.D. Damn.
761
00:58:17,875 --> 00:58:19,103
Strip-mining?
762
00:58:19,377 --> 00:58:20,776
Why, that slimy bastard.
763
00:58:21,212 --> 00:58:22,702
Here's another little nugget.
764
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,974
Hogg has been paying
that kid Prickett a lot of money...
765
00:58:26,150 --> 00:58:28,482
...to race here Saturday.
- He's paying him?
766
00:58:29,020 --> 00:58:32,251
Y'all better get your asses back here
quick as you can, got it?
767
00:58:32,423 --> 00:58:34,823
Ten-four, Shepherd,
this is Lost Sheep out.
768
00:58:36,594 --> 00:58:39,290
What's this? What's these crackers
doing in our place?
769
00:58:39,464 --> 00:58:43,093
Turns out Prickett came back because
Hogg paid him a assload of cash.
770
00:58:43,401 --> 00:58:46,302
Don't mean Billy has anything
to do with strip-mining.
771
00:58:46,471 --> 00:58:48,166
You got to be kidding me.
772
00:58:48,873 --> 00:58:50,773
Oh, shit. Roll them up.
773
00:58:51,609 --> 00:58:54,510
- What the hell is this, man?
- Looks like somebody's lost.
774
00:58:54,679 --> 00:58:58,115
Look, a couple of white boys playing
black. Is that's what's going on?
775
00:58:58,282 --> 00:59:01,809
Actually, we were at the geology lab
for some environmental stuff, and...
776
00:59:01,986 --> 00:59:06,980
No, I get it. They on one of these
reality shows.
777
00:59:07,158 --> 00:59:10,059
- Who Wanna Get They Ass Kicked?
- Yeah.
778
00:59:10,795 --> 00:59:14,788
Why don't you two hillbillies
join us up here for a minute?
779
00:59:14,966 --> 00:59:16,991
Actually, we prefer
Appalachian-Americans.
780
00:59:17,168 --> 00:59:18,795
Man, get out the car!
781
00:59:20,972 --> 00:59:24,703
Now, which one of you two
brothers is Michelangelo?
782
00:59:26,210 --> 00:59:30,772
There's a certain creek that people
sometimes canoe up without a paddle.
783
00:59:30,948 --> 00:59:35,612
You could say that the Duke boys
were on that particular creek right now.
784
00:59:35,786 --> 00:59:38,118
Let's kick they ass, Jerry!
785
00:59:39,790 --> 00:59:42,588
Never thought I'd say this,
but, hot damn, it's the cops.
786
00:59:44,529 --> 00:59:45,962
There goes the canoe.
787
00:59:51,068 --> 00:59:53,127
- Give me your shoelaces.
- What?
788
00:59:53,304 --> 00:59:57,707
These guys over there gave me theirs.
See, I'm gonna fashion myself a lasso.
789
00:59:57,875 --> 01:00:01,504
When the jailer comes in,
I'm gonna rope his keys.
790
01:00:01,679 --> 01:00:05,740
Luke and Bo Duke are home free.
Period, end of story.
791
01:00:05,917 --> 01:00:09,011
I got on cowboy boots, cuz.
792
01:00:09,187 --> 01:00:11,985
I like your style.
793
01:00:12,156 --> 01:00:14,056
You gonna need those shoelaces?
794
01:00:14,225 --> 01:00:17,194
We gonna have to get out of here.
795
01:00:17,461 --> 01:00:21,795
Hey, Yul Brynner. We gotta make
a phone call. We gotta call our lawyer.
796
01:00:21,966 --> 01:00:23,593
What the hell are we in here for?
797
01:00:23,901 --> 01:00:28,395
Well, where should I start?
798
01:00:34,445 --> 01:00:36,413
We know you're gonna
strip-mine Hazzard.
799
01:00:36,581 --> 01:00:40,017
Do you, now? Well, that's good.
800
01:00:40,184 --> 01:00:42,516
Guess where I'm gonna sink
that first drill.
801
01:00:42,687 --> 01:00:45,349
Right down in the middle
of your bedroom.
802
01:00:45,523 --> 01:00:49,357
Y'all do still share a bunk bed, right?
803
01:00:49,527 --> 01:00:52,724
Hey, that's a phat suit there.
What, you some type of pimp?
804
01:00:55,333 --> 01:01:00,168
What has strip-mining got to do with you
paying Billy Prickett to race tomorrow?
805
01:01:00,538 --> 01:01:03,336
You like magic, Luke? Sleight of hand?
806
01:01:03,507 --> 01:01:09,673
See, while you're looking over here,
something's really happening over here.
807
01:01:09,847 --> 01:01:15,251
You see, despite the fact
that I now own your beloved farm...
808
01:01:15,419 --> 01:01:20,186
...I can't legally mine it,
because the county won't let me.
809
01:01:20,358 --> 01:01:22,758
I need to hold a public hearing,
you know...
810
01:01:22,927 --> 01:01:28,490
...to give the citizens of Hazzard
a chance to object.
811
01:01:29,166 --> 01:01:33,068
And let me guess, you're going to hold
the hearing during the rally tomorrow?
812
01:01:33,237 --> 01:01:37,537
And if nobody knows about the hearing,
there won't be anyone there to object.
813
01:01:38,576 --> 01:01:40,601
- There you go.
- Sleight of hand.
814
01:01:40,778 --> 01:01:43,110
- Sleight of hand.
- Grow the fingernails out.
815
01:01:43,281 --> 01:01:46,273
Then pop some fingernail polish
on them bitches.
816
01:01:47,618 --> 01:01:49,813
- Is Billy Prickett in on it?
- Prickett?
817
01:01:51,889 --> 01:01:56,588
- Prickett's just collecting a paycheck.
- We ain't gonna let you get away with it.
818
01:01:56,761 --> 01:02:01,596
Really? Tomorrow, if you happen to be
strolling by the courthouse about noon...
819
01:02:01,766 --> 01:02:05,031
...you might wanna rush right in there
and voice your objections.
820
01:02:05,202 --> 01:02:06,760
Voice this.
821
01:02:08,839 --> 01:02:11,637
Dadgum it. I just remembered.
822
01:02:11,809 --> 01:02:15,210
Tomorrow morning
you're going to the Georgia work farm.
823
01:02:15,379 --> 01:02:19,509
And I hear they have a rather
strict policy on weekend passes.
824
01:02:19,684 --> 01:02:22,653
Yo, B. You need to pop
a feather in that hat, yo.
825
01:02:22,820 --> 01:02:25,482
Then your man ho's will be having
more respect for you.
826
01:02:25,823 --> 01:02:27,552
I have $ 100 right here...
827
01:02:27,725 --> 01:02:30,489
...for whoever knocks
that loudmouth son of a bitch out.
828
01:02:32,430 --> 01:02:33,829
Thank you.
829
01:02:33,998 --> 01:02:36,558
Now, break some rocks for me, boys.
830
01:02:36,734 --> 01:02:39,396
Take care, now, you hear?
831
01:02:39,570 --> 01:02:41,697
Bye-bye.
832
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:46,435
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
833
01:03:05,329 --> 01:03:07,194
All right, here's what we're gonna do.
834
01:03:07,365 --> 01:03:11,734
When we stop for gas, we call up Cooter
and tell him to put a pig in the road, right.
835
01:03:11,902 --> 01:03:16,134
Then when the cops are moving the pig,
Cooter hooks up a cable to the bumper.
836
01:03:16,307 --> 01:03:19,674
Car drives away,
the hook will pull out the whole chassis.
837
01:03:19,844 --> 01:03:22,278
He can't drive without a chassis...
838
01:03:22,446 --> 01:03:24,107
All right, shut up back there!
839
01:03:24,281 --> 01:03:27,307
My cousin's starting to go crazy.
We gotta get him to a hospital.
840
01:03:27,485 --> 01:03:29,783
I think he done caught the fever,
or something.
841
01:03:29,954 --> 01:03:33,515
That's what happens
when you're humping livestock, hillbilly.
842
01:03:33,691 --> 01:03:36,091
Can we help you guys out
with anything up there...
843
01:03:36,260 --> 01:03:38,455
...oblige you with a reach-around
or something?
844
01:03:38,629 --> 01:03:40,995
Of course, you'd have to un-cuff us first.
845
01:03:41,165 --> 01:03:44,498
Sarge, if you and me was to have
a chase, you think you could catch me?
846
01:03:45,002 --> 01:03:48,130
- Appears to me you caught already, son.
- I'm serious.
847
01:03:48,305 --> 01:03:52,207
If I had my car and you was in this one,
you really think you could catch me?
848
01:03:52,376 --> 01:03:55,072
Because, bubba,
this car feels kind of slow to me.
849
01:03:55,246 --> 01:03:58,215
She's got plenty under the hood,
don't you worry about that.
850
01:03:58,382 --> 01:04:00,009
- No balls.
- No balls.
851
01:04:00,184 --> 01:04:02,345
No balls. No balls.
852
01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:03,919
- No balls.
- No balls.
853
01:04:04,088 --> 01:04:06,079
You wanna see balls?
854
01:04:06,257 --> 01:04:09,090
- No balls. No balls.
- Will you slow this car down?
855
01:04:09,260 --> 01:04:12,593
You letting them get your panties
in a bunch. You the officer.
856
01:04:12,763 --> 01:04:15,163
Shut the hell up back there. All right?
857
01:04:15,433 --> 01:04:18,834
- No balls.
- Oh, my God. Will you look at that?
858
01:04:19,036 --> 01:04:22,096
You need a napkin
to eat them drumsticks, boy.
859
01:04:23,741 --> 01:04:26,471
- Goddamn it.
- Nice driving!
860
01:04:32,316 --> 01:04:34,375
What seems to be the problem, sugar?
861
01:04:34,885 --> 01:04:37,649
I think something bounced up
into my undercarriage.
862
01:04:37,822 --> 01:04:40,154
- Will you take a look?
- Ma'am, I'd be pleased...
863
01:04:40,324 --> 01:04:42,690
...to check your undercarriage.
- Thank you.
864
01:04:42,860 --> 01:04:45,420
I stopped you
because your taillight is out.
865
01:04:45,596 --> 01:04:47,393
Stopped me? Sir, you hit me.
866
01:04:47,565 --> 01:04:50,534
Because your taillight is out,
and we couldn't see you brake.
867
01:04:50,701 --> 01:04:53,067
- You're gonna write me a ticket?
- Yep.
868
01:04:53,404 --> 01:04:55,269
This is ridiculous!
869
01:04:57,708 --> 01:05:00,575
Is there anything I can help you out
with today, ma'am?
870
01:05:00,744 --> 01:05:03,611
Do cute cops grow on trees
around here or what?
871
01:05:03,814 --> 01:05:07,875
Well, I, you know... Pushups.
Kind of you to notice.
872
01:05:08,052 --> 01:05:11,078
Let me see what's going on
under your hood here.
873
01:05:12,823 --> 01:05:16,589
- Damn, that's hot.
- Here. Maybe this'll help.
874
01:05:20,498 --> 01:05:23,865
- Bless you.
- No, no, no. My undercarriage.
875
01:05:24,034 --> 01:05:26,468
- Your undercarriage?
- Yeah.
876
01:05:33,844 --> 01:05:37,280
Looks like you boys
have the magic touch.
877
01:05:47,157 --> 01:05:49,489
I was about to seal the deal
when you came over.
878
01:05:49,660 --> 01:05:51,855
What? She was looking at me
the whole time.
879
01:05:53,364 --> 01:05:56,197
- Let's get out of here.
- Where are the goddamn keys?
880
01:06:01,639 --> 01:06:04,130
Y'all think you can catch me now?
881
01:06:18,689 --> 01:06:20,554
Buckle up, this might get exciting.
882
01:06:20,724 --> 01:06:24,160
That's all right. We'll be long gone
before another cop shows up.
883
01:06:25,596 --> 01:06:26,790
Get skinny!
884
01:06:38,008 --> 01:06:40,568
- Okay, where's the highway?
- Don't you have a map?
885
01:06:41,679 --> 01:06:43,112
Wait. I got it.
886
01:06:46,617 --> 01:06:47,982
Turn left up here!
887
01:06:48,152 --> 01:06:49,449
Turn left, turn left!
888
01:06:50,988 --> 01:06:52,979
Damn it, I said, left!
889
01:06:53,157 --> 01:06:55,523
- You said your left!
- My left is your left.
890
01:06:55,693 --> 01:06:58,389
I'm gonna need
these directions faster.
891
01:07:01,165 --> 01:07:04,100
It's okay.
I know exactly where we're at.
892
01:07:11,675 --> 01:07:13,370
So, girls, how's the back seat?
893
01:07:13,544 --> 01:07:17,503
I haven't had this much fun since
we used to sneak up to the hayloft.
894
01:07:19,116 --> 01:07:22,244
You remember those tight little outfits
you used to make me wear.
895
01:07:27,558 --> 01:07:31,153
- I didn't know how to break it to you.
- You didn't know?
896
01:07:31,328 --> 01:07:33,159
Luke, you said he was okay with it.
897
01:07:36,834 --> 01:07:39,234
Look at the road, Bo.
898
01:07:39,403 --> 01:07:41,428
Bo, look at the road.
899
01:07:42,606 --> 01:07:45,871
- Look at the road.
- Supposed to be my time.
900
01:07:47,144 --> 01:07:48,475
Bo!
901
01:08:09,633 --> 01:08:10,998
I think I'm gonna chunder.
902
01:08:11,168 --> 01:08:13,033
- Is that bad?
- That means "vomit. "
903
01:08:13,203 --> 01:08:14,761
- Not in the car.
- Bo!
904
01:08:41,565 --> 01:08:44,534
You told me she wasn't
emotionally available for me.
905
01:08:44,702 --> 01:08:47,796
That it was better to lose a lover
than to love a loser!
906
01:08:47,971 --> 01:08:50,337
Because you would faint
every time you saw her!
907
01:08:50,507 --> 01:08:53,067
I don't faint.
908
01:08:55,145 --> 01:08:56,578
You called me a loser?
909
01:08:56,747 --> 01:08:58,715
I was trying to make him feel better.
910
01:08:58,882 --> 01:09:00,440
Can you just let me out here?
911
01:09:14,331 --> 01:09:17,596
Bo, this is some of the best driving
I ever seen you do.
912
01:09:17,768 --> 01:09:20,737
- Ain't that right, girls?
- Great driving, Bo. Great driving.
913
01:09:20,904 --> 01:09:22,565
Don't kiss my ass.
914
01:09:27,911 --> 01:09:30,937
- Bo, you gotta get us out of here.
- I can't hear you.
915
01:09:31,115 --> 01:09:34,107
- You're being ridiculous, Bo.
- Life is ridiculous, Katie.
916
01:09:34,284 --> 01:09:36,343
I really need a plastic bag now.
917
01:09:42,226 --> 01:09:44,160
What is the purpose of this circle?
918
01:09:47,865 --> 01:09:49,196
How do we get out of here?
919
01:09:49,366 --> 01:09:51,561
- Take this right.
- I'm not listening to you.
920
01:09:51,735 --> 01:09:53,669
Take a right here.
921
01:09:55,272 --> 01:09:56,603
Hell.
922
01:10:06,483 --> 01:10:08,713
You're scaring the girls.
Get back on the road.
923
01:10:08,886 --> 01:10:11,753
- Say sorry for stealing Katie.
- You were never together!
924
01:10:11,922 --> 01:10:13,583
I liked her. You betrayed that.
925
01:10:13,757 --> 01:10:16,419
- I liked her too!
- I liked her first.
926
01:10:17,461 --> 01:10:18,689
Calm down, Bo!
927
01:10:18,862 --> 01:10:20,887
I will calm down
when he says he's sorry!
928
01:10:21,064 --> 01:10:23,123
- Say you're sorry.
- I ain't saying it.
929
01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:25,598
Have you made your peace
with God yet, Luke?
930
01:10:25,769 --> 01:10:29,205
Because you're about to
meet your maker!
931
01:10:29,473 --> 01:10:30,940
- Just say you're sorry!
- No.
932
01:10:31,108 --> 01:10:34,771
We had a good time,
and I'm not gonna apologize for that.
933
01:10:50,828 --> 01:10:53,228
Okay, I'm sorry.
934
01:10:53,397 --> 01:10:55,865
Fine. I'll take Annette.
935
01:10:58,936 --> 01:11:01,302
That was fun.
936
01:11:09,379 --> 01:11:11,847
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
937
01:11:12,015 --> 01:11:13,414
Uncle Jesse, where are you?
938
01:11:13,584 --> 01:11:17,350
There's a hearing at the courthouse.
We gotta get everybody over there now.
939
01:11:17,521 --> 01:11:19,921
Sounds like a mighty fine plan, Lucas.
940
01:11:20,090 --> 01:11:22,615
Only got one wrinkle to it.
941
01:11:22,793 --> 01:11:29,221
You do that, could be very bad
for Jesse and Pauline's health.
942
01:11:29,499 --> 01:11:31,228
Hogg, you lay one hand on them...
943
01:11:31,401 --> 01:11:34,461
...and I'll shove a apple in your mouth
and my foot up your ass.
944
01:11:34,638 --> 01:11:36,299
Well, you bring the Vaseline.
945
01:11:36,974 --> 01:11:38,601
We'll make it a party.
946
01:11:38,775 --> 01:11:42,370
You two boys stay out of Hazzard,
and I mean it this time.
947
01:11:42,546 --> 01:11:45,242
- Where you think they got them?
- I don't know.
948
01:11:45,415 --> 01:11:48,748
- Hogg's never gone this far before.
- You ready to go that far?
949
01:11:49,453 --> 01:11:53,014
Cousin, I'm always ready
to go that far.
950
01:12:06,270 --> 01:12:09,535
What are we doing here?
This is Derek Sheevington's place.
951
01:12:09,706 --> 01:12:13,972
Yeah. Pretty good chance this is gonna
get ugly, so we're gonna drop you here.
952
01:12:14,144 --> 01:12:17,170
He got caught drinking
out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom.
953
01:12:17,347 --> 01:12:20,976
I know, I know. But we're gonna need
you girls to work with him.
954
01:12:22,052 --> 01:12:23,349
Oh, good God.
955
01:12:26,156 --> 01:12:28,818
Why, Katie Johnson, is that you?
956
01:12:28,992 --> 01:12:30,789
Boy, you filled out real nice.
957
01:12:30,961 --> 01:12:33,794
Yeah. You filled out
real nice too, Sheev.
958
01:12:33,964 --> 01:12:37,923
What's going on, Sheev? Looks like
we're gonna need some of those toys.
959
01:12:38,168 --> 01:12:41,968
Leave them two girls here,
I'll give you anything you want.
960
01:12:42,139 --> 01:12:44,664
Come on in. I'll put a stew on.
961
01:12:54,284 --> 01:12:58,186
- Hazzard County Police Department.
- Enos, this is Boss Hogg.
962
01:12:58,355 --> 01:13:00,380
Me and Rosco are over
at the Duke place.
963
01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:04,357
- If anybody wants us, we'll be here.
- Well, that's mighty consid...
964
01:13:06,863 --> 01:13:11,391
Rosco, I'm going over
and join the governor at the rally.
965
01:13:11,568 --> 01:13:15,334
Do not be late
going to the courthouse.
966
01:13:15,505 --> 01:13:18,804
Boss, how come you told old Enos there
where we was at?
967
01:13:22,212 --> 01:13:24,737
You remember the time
we tried to fix the rodeo?
968
01:13:24,915 --> 01:13:28,612
- Yeah.
- It was Enos that told the Dukes about it.
969
01:13:29,086 --> 01:13:32,578
Then we tried to spread those rumors
about the Mad Cow Disease...
970
01:13:32,756 --> 01:13:36,920
...so my chicken factories
would make a little more profit.
971
01:13:37,094 --> 01:13:39,585
It was Enos that told the Duke boys.
972
01:13:39,763 --> 01:13:42,391
So you want them Duke boys
to come out here?
973
01:14:14,798 --> 01:14:19,963
Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Rosco?
974
01:14:20,137 --> 01:14:22,537
They're at your farm.
975
01:14:23,106 --> 01:14:25,233
Thank you, Enos.
976
01:14:29,946 --> 01:14:32,380
That might be a new record.
977
01:14:38,288 --> 01:14:40,779
What? Okay, thanks, Daisy.
978
01:14:42,726 --> 01:14:44,091
He's at our farm.
979
01:14:46,463 --> 01:14:48,590
Hey. Hey, look, there's Prickett.
980
01:14:49,299 --> 01:14:51,494
- So?
- He can help us.
981
01:14:51,668 --> 01:14:54,501
He don't care about Hazzard.
He's getting paid to be here.
982
01:14:54,671 --> 01:14:56,901
Oh, man, you're wrong.
He's from here.
983
01:15:04,247 --> 01:15:07,216
- You out of your goddamn mind?
- Hey, Billy.
984
01:15:07,384 --> 01:15:11,218
- Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard.
- Just hold your horses.
985
01:15:11,388 --> 01:15:14,585
- Who's stripping?
- He's playing you, man.
986
01:15:14,758 --> 01:15:17,386
- He paid you to come and race...
- Just save your breath.
987
01:15:17,561 --> 01:15:20,394
- I already know.
- You already know?
988
01:15:21,998 --> 01:15:25,525
- But this is your hometown.
- I hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo...
989
01:15:25,702 --> 01:15:28,330
...but this place is a shithole.
990
01:15:28,505 --> 01:15:32,464
If it wasn't a strip mine,
it'd be a strip mall.
991
01:15:34,111 --> 01:15:38,605
Kind of like one of them outlets where
everything's reduced prices and...
992
01:15:38,782 --> 01:15:42,445
Hell, they don't even have an Outback
Steakhouse down here. Am I right?
993
01:15:42,619 --> 01:15:45,486
- Right as pie, Billy.
- Saddle up, Dil.
994
01:15:49,860 --> 01:15:54,194
Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo. At least
you didn't have to race me today.
995
01:15:54,364 --> 01:15:58,164
Because I would've left that little Tonka
toy you drive at the starting stripe.
996
01:15:58,335 --> 01:16:00,701
- Tonka.
- I'm gonna kill him.
997
01:16:00,871 --> 01:16:03,135
Hey, hey, hey!
998
01:16:03,306 --> 01:16:05,570
- What about Uncle Jesse?
- Wanna ride this stag?
999
01:16:05,742 --> 01:16:09,109
- You wanna rodeo with this clown?
- Uncle Jesse's old, Luke.
1000
01:16:09,279 --> 01:16:10,940
He's had a good run.
1001
01:16:11,114 --> 01:16:16,746
Besides, if he passes, God have mercy
on his soul, we get the farm.
1002
01:16:19,756 --> 01:16:22,816
I'm just playing with you, man.
Let's go get him.
1003
01:16:34,437 --> 01:16:36,132
They're here.
1004
01:16:42,846 --> 01:16:44,211
Cooter, you ready out there?
1005
01:16:44,381 --> 01:16:47,612
You get Rosco out of there,
Daisy and I'll take care of the rest.
1006
01:16:47,784 --> 01:16:50,844
What do you say we smoke
the varmint out of his hole?
1007
01:16:53,590 --> 01:16:56,923
Hey, Rosco, come on out,
you fat son of a bitch!
1008
01:17:03,266 --> 01:17:05,791
- Cletus, get your butt out there.
- Thank you, Rosco.
1009
01:17:20,016 --> 01:17:22,746
- Let me know if you're gonna puke!
- Oh, you'll know first!
1010
01:17:29,926 --> 01:17:33,327
All right, boys! Y'all come on
out of there with your hands up.
1011
01:17:35,065 --> 01:17:37,329
- Hey, Rosco!
- Hi, Boo-Boo.
1012
01:17:48,178 --> 01:17:50,442
I didn't know we had so many pigs
on the farm.
1013
01:18:02,325 --> 01:18:05,488
- I call this "painting the fence. "
- I think you missed a spot.
1014
01:18:09,532 --> 01:18:11,500
Look out, look out!
1015
01:18:11,735 --> 01:18:14,067
- You gonna get us out of here?
- I'm working on it!
1016
01:18:30,053 --> 01:18:32,146
Man, they're hauling ass, pick it up!
1017
01:18:42,232 --> 01:18:44,598
- You gonna make that?
- I'm planning on it.
1018
01:18:47,671 --> 01:18:49,571
Hold on, Luke.
1019
01:18:53,276 --> 01:18:55,039
I'll go in this direction now!
1020
01:19:08,758 --> 01:19:11,556
All right, Jesse. I'm arresting those...
1021
01:19:12,128 --> 01:19:15,222
Jesse? Jesse?
1022
01:19:18,335 --> 01:19:20,326
Courthouse.
1023
01:19:28,712 --> 01:19:32,341
Attention!
Attention, good people of Hazzard!
1024
01:19:32,515 --> 01:19:35,382
Life as we know it is about to end.
1025
01:19:35,552 --> 01:19:40,353
As we speak, dark forces are conspiring
to strip-mine our land.
1026
01:19:40,523 --> 01:19:42,855
Follow me to the courthouse,
and we'll save you!
1027
01:19:44,728 --> 01:19:48,892
Yeah, right, Sheev. Last year
the CIA was brainwashing our cows.
1028
01:19:49,566 --> 01:19:50,965
Get a job, man.
1029
01:19:52,235 --> 01:19:54,066
Hey, Sheev. Sheev.
1030
01:19:54,237 --> 01:19:58,298
- Go back to your spaceship.
- I'm serious. Come on!
1031
01:19:59,442 --> 01:20:00,500
Bye, Sheev.
1032
01:20:14,891 --> 01:20:16,825
It might be good
if you helped out here.
1033
01:20:16,993 --> 01:20:19,120
- Hell, move over, I'll drive.
- No way.
1034
01:20:19,295 --> 01:20:21,160
I'm still hoping to survive this thing.
1035
01:20:23,133 --> 01:20:24,794
Goddamn it. Son of a bitch.
1036
01:20:28,104 --> 01:20:31,073
I like the way you think, cuz.
Yeah, boy!
1037
01:20:49,626 --> 01:20:51,150
Hold on.
1038
01:21:06,075 --> 01:21:08,407
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
1039
01:21:09,045 --> 01:21:10,205
Go for Lost Sheep.
1040
01:21:10,380 --> 01:21:12,575
- Free and clear.
- Good.
1041
01:21:12,749 --> 01:21:15,274
Sheev's making sure everyone
goes to the hearing.
1042
01:21:15,452 --> 01:21:17,215
- I'll see you in town.
- Over and out.
1043
01:21:17,387 --> 01:21:18,877
Let's get the hell out of here.
1044
01:21:24,127 --> 01:21:28,029
- Barn door, coming up.
- Yeah, I see it. Hold on!
1045
01:21:50,487 --> 01:21:52,182
The General!
1046
01:21:52,422 --> 01:21:54,117
Let's head to the courthouse!
1047
01:21:58,428 --> 01:22:01,397
End of the World to Lost Sheep,
End of the World to Lost Sheep.
1048
01:22:01,564 --> 01:22:03,532
- Come in, Lost Sheep.
- What do you got?
1049
01:22:03,700 --> 01:22:06,032
- Everybody headed into town?
- That's a negative.
1050
01:22:06,202 --> 01:22:07,692
Repeat, that's a negative.
1051
01:22:07,871 --> 01:22:10,465
No one listened.
They threw hot dogs at us.
1052
01:22:11,307 --> 01:22:14,140
- Did you tell them about the strip mine?
- Of course I did.
1053
01:22:14,711 --> 01:22:17,839
Were you wearing a armadillo helmet
when you told them about it?
1054
01:22:20,216 --> 01:22:21,513
No.
1055
01:22:22,552 --> 01:22:24,042
Okay, Lost Sheep out.
1056
01:22:25,088 --> 01:22:26,715
No one's heading in to town?
1057
01:22:26,890 --> 01:22:30,883
If we don't get to that courthouse
by noon, there ain't gonna be no town.
1058
01:22:33,763 --> 01:22:37,529
- Well, we still got time for Plan B.
- I like Plan B.
1059
01:22:37,700 --> 01:22:38,997
- Plan B.
- Plan B.
1060
01:22:39,168 --> 01:22:41,363
When you're flying by the seat
of your pants...
1061
01:22:41,538 --> 01:22:44,666
... nothing sounds more official
than a Plan B.
1062
01:22:46,276 --> 01:22:49,109
Don't worry, cuz,
I'll get them to the courthouse.
1063
01:23:13,202 --> 01:23:16,433
This emergency hearing
is now in session.
1064
01:23:18,007 --> 01:23:20,168
Rosco, where is everybody?
1065
01:23:21,644 --> 01:23:23,043
I'm here.
1066
01:23:23,713 --> 01:23:25,044
Well, we have until noon.
1067
01:24:06,055 --> 01:24:10,424
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls...
1068
01:24:10,593 --> 01:24:15,530
...it's my honor today
to introduce my friend...
1069
01:24:15,698 --> 01:24:21,864
...and the friend of everybody in the
greatest state of the United States...
1070
01:24:24,674 --> 01:24:30,237
...the governor, James T. Applewhite!
1071
01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:32,778
Thank you. Thank you.
1072
01:24:34,117 --> 01:24:35,744
Ladies and gentlemen...
1073
01:24:35,918 --> 01:24:40,912
...welcome to the
70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally!
1074
01:24:43,192 --> 01:24:46,286
Drivers, start your engines!
1075
01:24:57,407 --> 01:25:01,776
Just have a couple piña coladas
waiting for me at the finish line, Dil.
1076
01:25:01,944 --> 01:25:03,639
Here comes the heat.
1077
01:25:07,650 --> 01:25:09,379
There they go.
1078
01:25:15,425 --> 01:25:17,359
Come on, come on, come on.
1079
01:25:38,347 --> 01:25:40,247
He's in the race!
1080
01:26:11,614 --> 01:26:14,947
It has been confirmed that the
orange car that entered the race...
1081
01:26:15,118 --> 01:26:18,019
...is in fact the same car
that tore up Atlanta this morning.
1082
01:26:18,187 --> 01:26:22,283
It seems that the "orange-car fugitives"
are from right here in Hazzard County.
1083
01:26:22,458 --> 01:26:25,484
State and local authorities
are trying to subdue the vehicle...
1084
01:26:25,661 --> 01:26:27,253
...known as the General Lee.
1085
01:26:27,430 --> 01:26:31,298
Well, General-Lee speaking, I'd say those
cops are in for a pretty tough time.
1086
01:26:31,467 --> 01:26:33,628
I'm Rick Shakely.
Back to you, Marty.
1087
01:26:39,242 --> 01:26:42,439
This is Boss Hogg.
The Dukes are on the course.
1088
01:26:42,612 --> 01:26:48,551
I want all available vehicles to shut down
the road to the courthouse!
1089
01:26:48,718 --> 01:26:51,084
- We're gonna need to clear a path.
- You got it.
1090
01:26:54,791 --> 01:26:59,091
Hey, Dil, what's the word
on those Céline Dion tickets?
1091
01:27:00,096 --> 01:27:04,192
Well, of course I wanna go backstage.
Don't be dumb.
1092
01:27:56,485 --> 01:27:57,645
Damn.
1093
01:28:10,933 --> 01:28:15,063
Enos. I want you
down to the courthouse. I...
1094
01:28:16,606 --> 01:28:18,039
Someone moved my car.
1095
01:28:19,909 --> 01:28:23,868
Enos, you dipstick,
did somebody move my car?
1096
01:28:24,413 --> 01:28:27,576
Hell, let's just sack up
and shoot the bastard.
1097
01:28:30,119 --> 01:28:32,713
Holy shit!
1098
01:28:33,222 --> 01:28:35,247
Luke, where the hell are you?
1099
01:28:50,873 --> 01:28:53,774
- Good God almighty.
- It's about time!
1100
01:28:53,943 --> 01:28:56,776
- How's the race going?
- How's it look like it's going?
1101
01:29:44,694 --> 01:29:46,218
Why, you dirty son of a bitch.
1102
01:29:49,999 --> 01:29:51,762
Hey, go easy on that.
1103
01:29:51,934 --> 01:29:55,927
For what I'm getting ready to do,
I don't wanna remember a lot of it.
1104
01:30:02,311 --> 01:30:04,108
You know why tornadoes and blonds...
1105
01:30:04,280 --> 01:30:06,305
...are so much alike?
- No.
1106
01:30:06,482 --> 01:30:11,146
At first, there's a lot of sucking
and blowing, and then you lose your house.
1107
01:30:16,292 --> 01:30:19,125
Know what you get when you cross
a donkey with an onion?
1108
01:30:19,295 --> 01:30:20,853
- No.
- You get a piece of ass...
1109
01:30:21,030 --> 01:30:23,965
...that'll bring a tear to your eye.
1110
01:30:28,904 --> 01:30:30,462
You thinking about throwing it?
1111
01:30:30,639 --> 01:30:32,869
Oh, I'll throw it.
I was thinking about pussy.
1112
01:30:40,649 --> 01:30:42,776
You know why divorces
are so expensive?
1113
01:30:42,952 --> 01:30:45,512
- No.
- Because they're worth it.
1114
01:30:48,491 --> 01:30:50,516
Fire in the hole.
1115
01:30:56,465 --> 01:31:00,196
Hey, Bo, take it home.
The coast is clear.
1116
01:31:12,148 --> 01:31:14,013
Here we go again.
1117
01:31:14,183 --> 01:31:16,344
Okay, I'm gonna get those cops
to follow me.
1118
01:31:16,519 --> 01:31:19,352
When I do, tow those cruisers
out of the way.
1119
01:31:19,522 --> 01:31:21,422
Can do.
1120
01:31:35,504 --> 01:31:38,564
Excuse me, officers.
My car broke down up the street there...
1121
01:31:38,741 --> 01:31:41,039
...and I was wondering
if y'all could help me out.
1122
01:31:41,210 --> 01:31:44,111
Why, yes, ma'am.
We'll be happy to.
1123
01:31:44,280 --> 01:31:47,681
- Oh, you're sweet.
- Let's go.
1124
01:31:48,217 --> 01:31:51,744
Halt! Tough shit, honey.
You go fix your own car.
1125
01:31:51,921 --> 01:31:53,513
Ain't no one going anywhere.
1126
01:31:54,457 --> 01:31:56,584
What the hell are you doing?
1127
01:32:06,869 --> 01:32:08,166
Come on, General.
1128
01:32:39,568 --> 01:32:41,900
Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival!
1129
01:32:51,547 --> 01:32:53,242
Hey, Billy!
1130
01:33:03,225 --> 01:33:05,557
You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo.
1131
01:33:09,765 --> 01:33:12,199
I've had just about enough of you.
1132
01:33:24,647 --> 01:33:25,944
Here they come.
1133
01:33:41,864 --> 01:33:44,526
Of course I can feel him on my left!
Of course I can!
1134
01:33:49,471 --> 01:33:52,668
- Where is he getting this from?
- Hey, Billy!
1135
01:33:52,841 --> 01:33:54,240
He's playing with me!
1136
01:34:02,184 --> 01:34:04,846
- Come on.
- The General Lee has won the race.
1137
01:34:06,488 --> 01:34:08,046
I want him tested for steroids!
1138
01:34:11,860 --> 01:34:14,920
But Billy Prickett and the General Lee
haven't had quite enough driving.
1139
01:34:15,097 --> 01:34:17,031
They're still going.
1140
01:34:18,500 --> 01:34:20,730
- Come on, y'all!
- We'll interview these guys...
1141
01:34:20,903 --> 01:34:23,997
...if we have to chase after
them ourselves. Tito, start the van.
1142
01:34:24,540 --> 01:34:26,440
Better luck next time, Hogg.
1143
01:34:26,609 --> 01:34:28,167
Let's go, baby.
1144
01:34:35,918 --> 01:34:37,943
Don't go home, really.
1145
01:34:40,155 --> 01:34:42,180
This is Boss Hogg.
1146
01:34:42,358 --> 01:34:47,193
That road better be shut down
tighter than a tick's ass.
1147
01:34:47,863 --> 01:34:50,331
Ten-four. Barricade's in place.
1148
01:34:56,238 --> 01:34:58,365
Rosco, is anyone coming?
1149
01:34:58,941 --> 01:35:03,037
- What, I ain't good enough for you?
- No comment.
1150
01:35:04,513 --> 01:35:07,073
Don't write that down.
Don't write that down.
1151
01:35:07,249 --> 01:35:10,275
- Are they coming?
- Oh, yeah, they're coming.
1152
01:35:10,452 --> 01:35:12,943
We got the whole town headed
to the courthouse.
1153
01:35:14,189 --> 01:35:17,420
- Daisy, we all clear?
- Not exactly.
1154
01:35:17,593 --> 01:35:20,187
"Not exactly" could be a problem.
1155
01:35:20,362 --> 01:35:24,526
Bo? I think we're gonna have
to shoot the moon.
1156
01:35:39,982 --> 01:35:42,507
- What the hell are you doing, Cooter?
- Sorry, officer.
1157
01:35:42,685 --> 01:35:44,653
I heard a pretty lady needed a tow.
1158
01:35:47,790 --> 01:35:50,691
- Cooter.
- I can't hear you.
1159
01:35:50,859 --> 01:35:53,293
Cooter, what the hell are you doing?
1160
01:36:01,337 --> 01:36:03,703
Hey, Billy!
1161
01:36:03,872 --> 01:36:05,965
You think I was born
yesterday, Bo-Bo?
1162
01:36:07,242 --> 01:36:09,233
Oh, shit!
1163
01:36:17,486 --> 01:36:19,181
Holy shit.
1164
01:36:35,671 --> 01:36:38,333
Luke, I made it, but I don't know
how anybody else will.
1165
01:36:38,507 --> 01:36:41,374
That's okay, I got an idea!
1166
01:36:45,214 --> 01:36:47,045
Well, I'll see you on the other side.
1167
01:37:02,297 --> 01:37:04,356
Give me
your goddamn driver's license.
1168
01:37:04,533 --> 01:37:06,296
What license?
1169
01:37:13,142 --> 01:37:15,770
What are we waiting on, judge?
Let's finish this thing.
1170
01:37:15,944 --> 01:37:17,775
Well, I guess it's that time.
1171
01:37:17,946 --> 01:37:20,881
I just can't believe
that nobody wants to object.
1172
01:37:22,317 --> 01:37:26,048
All those in favor
of the strip-mining ordinance?
1173
01:37:27,823 --> 01:37:30,189
- They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard?
- Damn straight.
1174
01:37:30,359 --> 01:37:34,728
- How can they do that?
- Don't worry, we're about to stop them.
1175
01:37:35,898 --> 01:37:37,923
All those opposed?
1176
01:37:39,902 --> 01:37:42,530
What the hell is that?
Who locked that door?
1177
01:37:46,975 --> 01:37:49,569
- Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
- Your Honor!
1178
01:37:49,745 --> 01:37:54,239
I think we got some people who might
like to object to this strip-mining issue.
1179
01:37:54,683 --> 01:37:58,119
Okay, all those opposed
to the strip-mining ordinance?
1180
01:38:01,156 --> 01:38:06,924
This court hereby declares that the
strip-mining ordinance is dismissed.
1181
01:38:12,334 --> 01:38:15,462
Thank you much. Thank you, Boss.
Hi, how y'all?
1182
01:38:15,704 --> 01:38:18,434
She might be a little low on gas.
1183
01:38:18,607 --> 01:38:20,575
Take that.
1184
01:38:21,710 --> 01:38:25,077
Were you really gonna strip-mine
Hazzard, Mr. Hogg?
1185
01:38:25,848 --> 01:38:28,442
I was thinking about it.
1186
01:38:30,085 --> 01:38:31,882
- Out of the way.
- Step aside, please.
1187
01:38:32,054 --> 01:38:33,419
Excuse me, ma'am.
1188
01:38:34,790 --> 01:38:37,088
- Get your hands up.
- People, move back.
1189
01:38:37,259 --> 01:38:38,851
Hands up, hands up.
1190
01:38:39,027 --> 01:38:42,428
Okay. Looks like the party's over.
1191
01:38:42,598 --> 01:38:45,658
Damn right it is.
As long as I'm a county commissioner...
1192
01:38:45,834 --> 01:38:48,701
...for the great state of Georgia,
you two are gonna rot...
1193
01:38:48,871 --> 01:38:51,362
...in the penitentiary. Cuff him.
1194
01:38:52,608 --> 01:38:53,905
Let them go!
1195
01:38:54,209 --> 01:38:55,972
Let them go!
1196
01:38:56,144 --> 01:38:59,511
Excuse me, Rick Shakely. I think
the governor has a statement to make.
1197
01:38:59,681 --> 01:39:01,546
- Well, hot dog.
- I do?
1198
01:39:01,717 --> 01:39:04,208
Yes, sir. You wanted to comment
on how these boys...
1199
01:39:04,386 --> 01:39:06,684
...are the heroes
for saving Hazzard County.
1200
01:39:06,855 --> 01:39:09,847
- That's right, governor!
- Come on, governor!
1201
01:39:11,293 --> 01:39:13,227
Certainly, certainly.
1202
01:39:13,395 --> 01:39:16,990
As you know, I've always been
a great friend to the environment.
1203
01:39:17,466 --> 01:39:20,367
And these boys,
they're environmental heroes!
1204
01:39:22,137 --> 01:39:26,267
And because they're heroes, you're
gonna pardon them for all their crimes?
1205
01:39:29,778 --> 01:39:32,838
Moreover, as governor,
I hereby pardon these boys...
1206
01:39:33,015 --> 01:39:36,974
...of any and all offenses against
the great state of Georgia. Go Dogs!
1207
01:39:40,222 --> 01:39:43,885
Governor? I wanna thank you
for pardoning me too.
1208
01:39:44,059 --> 01:39:47,119
- Pardon you for what?
- For this.
1209
01:39:51,900 --> 01:39:54,391
Oh, what the hell. I pardon him too.
1210
01:39:56,638 --> 01:40:00,199
Here's to Hazzard County's
real favorite sons.
1211
01:40:03,712 --> 01:40:06,738
The day had been saved, as they say.
1212
01:40:06,915 --> 01:40:09,577
Hazzard was put back the way it was.
1213
01:40:09,751 --> 01:40:12,481
Boss Hogg had some explaining to do.
1214
01:40:12,654 --> 01:40:15,145
And the Dukes got their farm back
and celebrated...
1215
01:40:15,324 --> 01:40:18,691
... with a good old-fashioned
pig-picking barbecue.
1216
01:40:18,860 --> 01:40:21,954
Hey, Billy. Daisy, I think
you ought to get up there and sing.
1217
01:40:22,130 --> 01:40:25,861
- Oh, no. I only sing in the shower.
- I'll get the water running.
1218
01:40:26,034 --> 01:40:28,468
- Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it.
- Good idea.
1219
01:40:28,637 --> 01:40:31,970
Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse?
We want him to sing a song.
1220
01:40:32,140 --> 01:40:35,337
I think I might know where he is.
1221
01:40:39,448 --> 01:40:40,710
An apple?
1222
01:40:40,983 --> 01:40:43,850
An apple a day
will keep the doctor away, darling.
1223
01:40:44,019 --> 01:40:47,011
Come on, Jesse,
they want you to sing.
1224
01:40:47,189 --> 01:40:50,989
- Real refreshing.
- They are, aren't they?
1225
01:41:00,936 --> 01:41:02,665
It feels like old times again.
1226
01:41:02,838 --> 01:41:06,535
Yeah, except for now we don't
gotta worry about Bo finding out.
1227
01:41:06,708 --> 01:41:10,200
I swear you're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
1228
01:41:10,379 --> 01:41:13,177
- You're sweet.
- Yeah.
1229
01:41:13,348 --> 01:41:15,543
I would really like to give you
a bath later.
1230
01:41:15,717 --> 01:41:17,912
Clean you up real nice.
Would you like that?
1231
01:41:18,086 --> 01:41:21,283
- I'd like that.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1232
01:41:21,456 --> 01:41:25,256
Don't worry about her. She's crazy.
1233
01:41:31,733 --> 01:41:33,291
Hey there, Laurie.
1234
01:41:33,468 --> 01:41:36,528
You forgot to make your delivery
this week, Luke Duke.
1235
01:41:37,072 --> 01:41:40,166
- Go, Bo, go.
- Luke, you man-whore.
1236
01:41:40,942 --> 01:41:43,536
You get back here, you bastard!
1237
01:41:43,712 --> 01:41:45,145
See y'all later.
1238
01:41:59,227 --> 01:42:00,888
Okay, this is A-camera marker.
1239
01:42:01,063 --> 01:42:04,157
- Actually, she's my cousin.
- That don't make a difference to me.
1240
01:42:04,332 --> 01:42:08,325
Hell, long as she's your sister.
What the fuck did I just say?
1241
01:42:13,442 --> 01:42:17,242
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
1242
01:42:20,215 --> 01:42:22,308
- Come on, cut that out.
- Seann.
1243
01:42:22,484 --> 01:42:24,645
Do I need to mark this thing?
1244
01:42:24,820 --> 01:42:26,185
It's called common markers.
1245
01:42:26,354 --> 01:42:28,720
I wonder if Richard Burton
ever had to do that.
1246
01:43:10,799 --> 01:43:14,394
What the fuck?
That's the kiss you guys are having?
1247
01:43:14,569 --> 01:43:17,436
What the fuck?
I'm a total fucking moron.
1248
01:43:17,606 --> 01:43:20,268
- It gets longer and longer, doesn't it?
- Come on.
1249
01:43:20,442 --> 01:43:23,969
How these boys are the heroes for...
Oh, my Lord.
1250
01:43:24,146 --> 01:43:27,582
Every time I look at her titties,
she loses her line.
1251
01:43:29,618 --> 01:43:32,109
- I love it except for the hair in your eyes.
- I know.
1252
01:43:32,287 --> 01:43:34,255
- How's my hair?
- Okay.
1253
01:43:34,422 --> 01:43:36,549
How'd you miss that?
1254
01:43:36,825 --> 01:43:40,124
- Gonna take your hands off the wheel?
- He showed me his balls.
1255
01:43:40,295 --> 01:43:43,093
Sorry. Okay, okay. We'll do it again.
Okay, keep going.
1256
01:43:43,265 --> 01:43:45,165
For your...
1257
01:43:47,102 --> 01:43:49,969
- Don't tell me, it rhymes with "anus. "
- Heinous.
1258
01:43:50,138 --> 01:43:52,436
For your heinous crimes.
1259
01:43:52,607 --> 01:43:55,633
Have you been running this
around the clock, Uncle Jesse?
1260
01:44:05,554 --> 01:44:09,456
Did I say "shit" or "hell" that time?
With "ass" or "dick"? I said "hell"?
1261
01:44:11,193 --> 01:44:14,890
Dang it, a little help. A little help.
1262
01:44:16,198 --> 01:44:18,723
- Cut it.
- Cut.
1263
01:44:18,900 --> 01:44:23,997
Come on, be a bro, be a bro.
Get it away! Come on. Get it away!
1264
01:44:24,172 --> 01:44:25,867
- Move over.
- Hey.
1265
01:44:26,041 --> 01:44:29,306
- There weren't any bananas.
- Oh, that's okay.
1266
01:44:30,312 --> 01:44:34,214
- Where's Bo?
- To hell with Bo, it's Boo!
1267
01:44:34,382 --> 01:44:35,849
Lunch!
1268
01:44:41,156 --> 01:44:42,919
Thank you very much.
1269
01:44:44,793 --> 01:44:47,887
Look at me, I'm flying. I'm flying!
1270
01:44:48,063 --> 01:44:51,499
Oh, it's so much fun. I'm okay.
1271
01:45:51,500 --> 01:45:54,300
Ripped by:
SkyFury