0
00:00:06,741 --> 00:00:12,144
*

1
00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:34,293
I wanted to go
someplace special tonight.

2
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,829
Romantic.

3
00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:40,599
If you've met someone wonderful,
then you should spoil them.

4
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,501
It's important to find
that special person

5
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,504
you can be
yourself around.

6
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,640
Someone you could spend
the rest of your life with.

7
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,343
This calls
for a toast.

8
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,645
Here's to relationships.

9
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,816
To first dates

10
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,324
Would you excuse
me for a minute?

11
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,525
Of course.

12
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,444
I'm close

13
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,546
(PHONE RINGING)

14
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:28,714
Hang on.

15
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:33,352
(GRUNTING)

16
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,187
What's up, Myles?

17
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:38,357
He's so cute and smart.

18
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,725
I really like him.

19
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,360
I think he may be the one.

20
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,195
What kind of puppy
did you pick out?

21
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,429
Puppy?

22
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:47,199
The one you're imagining
in your dream house.

23
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,935
I have no idea what
you're talking about.

24
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,171
Boston Terrier

25
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,190
Where are you?

26
00:02:54,191 --> 00:02:56,208
No, don't tell me.
Let me guess.

27
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,943
You're only gonna
need one guess.

28
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,212
God I wish you
could see this.

29
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,480
This guy's ass is so
tight you could bounce
a quarter off of it.

30
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,882
Or something bigger.

31
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,785
Nice visual while I enjoy
my romantic dinner.

32
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:10,822
Well, my date and I are
sharing a connection,

33
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,858
deep meaningful conversation.

34
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:16,628
I took him to this
amazing restaurant.

35
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,430
Just gave him
the red rose.

36
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,769
He's leaving, isn't he?

37
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,837
He just slipped
out the door.

38
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,639
Oh Myles.

39
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,943
Time to initiate
our suicide pact.

40
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,678
I fear the
time is upon us.

41
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,613
Death by chocolate?

42
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,248
I'm afraid so.

43
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,549
Text me where you are.

44
00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:41,620
You owe me an orgasm.

45
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,755
I'll make it a
double next time.

46
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,924
Is there gonna
be a next time?

47
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,394
Probably not.

48
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,732
Do you wanna shower at
least before you go?

49
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,234
I didn't break a sweat.

50
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:07,446
(PIANO BAR MUSIC)

51
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,415
Geez.

52
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,318
Nice place.

53
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,853
It was before my
date left me.

54
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,689
Here, this will
cheer you up.

55
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:18,824
What's this?

56
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,260
It's your birthday present.

57
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,928
My birthday isn't
for two months yet.

58
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,798
I know, I figured you could
use a little "happy" now.

59
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,766
Why hello.

60
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,436
Oh, you got my favorite!

61
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,671
Of course.

62
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,441
Don't get too excited,
it's not much.

63
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,613
Oh come on, don't
get all gushy on me.

64
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,350
You do have a
sentimental side.

65
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,319
That's the
day we met.

66
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,287
I made two of them. One
for you and one for me.

67
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,659
I just wanted to do
something that you would like.

68
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,761
Don't make me regret
being nice, alright.

69
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,562
Enough of this
sappy crap.

70
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,665
Here is to Men.

71
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:00,699
Fuck them.

72
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,568
To finding the
perfect man.

73
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,504
To friends.

74
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,805
To relationships.

75
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,674
Being single.

76
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,014
Do me a favor. Don't
let me die alone.

77
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,916
You're not gonna be alone.
I'm gonna be there holding

78
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,852
a pillow over
your face.

79
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,055
This is to the hangovers
we're gonna have tomorrow.

80
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:24,523
So we agree?

81
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,058
To being hungover?

82
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,359
No.

83
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,860
That we won't
grow old alone.

84
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,463
I'm never
gonna be alone.

85
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,999
In fact, I'm already
drafting a list in my head

86
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,967
of all the things I'm
gonna do to our waiter.

87
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,870
Most of them are still
illegal in forty-two states.

88
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:39,938
Hey.

89
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,974
Hey, I'm serious.

90
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,877
Come on, you know that I'm
always gonna be here for you.

91
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:49,381
Alright, I can tell you're
obsessing over this already.

92
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,683
I'll make you a deal.

93
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,752
If in ten years we're
both still single

94
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,588
and neither of us
have found anybody,

95
00:05:56,590 --> 00:06:01,793
we'll be boyfriends. A
couple. Together, forever.

96
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,663
A backup plan?

97
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,430
You're serious?

98
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,498
Sure.

99
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,500
Here, you're
the one who's

100
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,602
going to school to
be a fancy attorney.

101
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,104
Write something up,
I will sign it.

102
00:06:12,106 --> 00:06:15,073
Make it legally binding.

103
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,509
So I have ten
years then?

104
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,111
To find love
before you're,

105
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,079
thirty-five.

106
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,782
Here's to
being in love.

107
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,685
Here is to ten
years of freedom.

108
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,609
You happy now, huh?

109
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,780
Unbelievable.

110
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:10,495
*

111
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,006
Here they are.

112
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,141
Made you those
appetizers you like

113
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,911
with the imported
goat cheese.

114
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,579
Please sit down.

115
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,283
I will.

116
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,018
But, trust me, you don't
want dinner to burn.

117
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,086
It does smell great.

118
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,455
What is it?

119
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,556
It's Eggplant Sorrento.

120
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:38,723
Are you kidding me?

121
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,691
That's my favorite.

122
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,776
I know.

123
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:41,860
I called your mother.

124
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,229
You're making my mom's
Eggplant Sorrento?

125
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,532
Well you've been
working a lot recently,

126
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,834
so I thought it would
be nice to do something
extra special for you.

127
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,036
I can't believe
you called my mother.

128
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,738
That's a tad scary.

129
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:56,508
Sit.

130
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,976
Relax.

131
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,878
That's an eighty-six cabernet.

132
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,112
I'll be back in a few.

133
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,590
What's up?

134
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:16,094
Want to catch
a movie tonight?

135
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:16,962
Can't, man.

136
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,730
Got plans already.

137
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,166
They start with a cold beer
and end with a sticky towel.

138
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,001
All the best nights do.

139
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,937
Looks like it's just you and
me again tonight buddy.

140
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,540
Hey, you're the one that
insists on being straight.

141
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,575
Look, why don't you just
come out with me tonight, huh.

142
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,878
You give me ten minutes I
will get you an ass so hot

143
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,213
you can eat breakfast,
lunch and dinner off of it.

144
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,683
I prefer my partners not to
have the same equipment as me.

145
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:42,821
Not me. I prefer the
same, or bigger.

146
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:43,655
Hey, your loss.

147
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,726
(PHONE BEEPS)

148
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:48,960
Hello David.

149
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,896
Say hello to David.

150
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,264
Is it really that
easy for you?

151
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,932
That's the beauty
of being a man.

152
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,101
Look, there's no
wining and dining.

153
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,269
Five minutes we'll have had
a beer, fifteen minutes
we'll be in the sack,

154
00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:01,072
sixteen minutes I'll be home
watching pay-per-view.

155
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,308
It's amazing, you
should try it.

156
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,844
Well, if you
put it that way.

157
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,812
Seriously?

158
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,114
Hell no.

159
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:18,857
*

160
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,660
Someone was hungry.

161
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,128
And thirsty.

162
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,063
Here, taste.

163
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,331
Are you ever
gonna sit down?

164
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,999
I'd really
like to talk.

165
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,940
Wow.

166
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,341
That is good.

167
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,209
It's exactly how my
mom makes it.

168
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,145
Good, now I want to
hear all about your day.

169
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,181
Come to the table.
We'll talk over dinner.

170
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,916
I don't even
know what to say.

171
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,117
How about,
let's eat!

172
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,687
Fine.

173
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,626
(DOORBELL RINGS)

174
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:03,301
Hi, I'm David.

175
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,637
Hi, I'm Brody.

176
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,972
Nice to meet you.

177
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:10,008
What is it with you guys
introducing yourselves like

178
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,943
you don't already know
who I am. I mean,

179
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,679
you have sent me so
many pictures of yourself

180
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,249
that I probably know you better
than your own doctor does.

181
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,185
I don't know.

182
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,120
Do you have a better way of
greeting someone at the door?

183
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:27,826
How about, "Hey Brody, come
on in, you want a beer?"

184
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,028
Hi Brody, come on in.
Do you want a beer?

185
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,097
No, I'm good.

186
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,699
You look terrified.

187
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,234
First time on Grindr?

188
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,269
No.

189
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,071
Maybe.

190
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,656
Yeah.

191
00:10:41,657 --> 00:10:43,240
Ok, well, relax,
we're gonna have fun.

192
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,243
How about you, do
you want a beer?

193
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,045
Actually I'd love one.

194
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,346
Ok.

195
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,117
(BELCH)

196
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:59,057
Well, that's a
nice compliment.

197
00:10:59,059 --> 00:10:59,991
That was amazing.

198
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,693
I'm glad.

199
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,528
How did the client
meeting go today?

200
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,362
I hope you got all the, "I'm
thinking of you" texts I sent.

201
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,097
Yep.

202
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,699
All ten.

203
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:13,872
You seem a little,
tired tonight.

204
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,908
Why don't you just take
your shoes off, relax.

205
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,712
I'm just...

206
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,714
I'm trying to figure
out the best way to

207
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,749
talk to you
about something.

208
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,185
As long as it's not,
"let's see other people".

209
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,021
Uh.

210
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,756
You want to see
other people.

211
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:35,260
I'm just thinking that
we're moving too fast.

212
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,028
We've been
dating a month.

213
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,997
I see you once a
week for dinner and sex,

214
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,966
and I do all the work
for both. How is that
possibly moving too fast?

215
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,885
I just want to pump
the brakes a bit.

216
00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:45,803
Well, do you think you could
have pumped them on a day

217
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:50,475
I didn't spend cooking
an elaborate dinner and
planning erotic massages?

218
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,177
Wow.

219
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:58,349
Myles, one day,

220
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:02,921
you are going to make someone
the most amazing husband.

221
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,222
Just not you.

222
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,058
No.

223
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,965
I'm gonna leave.

224
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:14,899
Yeah.

225
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:32,016
(GRUNTING)

226
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,485
Oh Yeah.

227
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:36,121
Can I get you
that beer now?

228
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,789
You're a
quick study.

229
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:38,823
I like you.

230
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,325
Enough to see me again?

231
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,861
Enough to introduce
you to my friend.

232
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,329
Threesome?

233
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,531
I don't think I'm
ready for that, yet.

234
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,832
Sure you are.

235
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,439
Myles, say
hello to David.

236
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,273
Say Hi David.

237
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,274
Hi.

238
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,109
Hello David.

239
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,045
It's always a pleasure meeting
one of Brody's "hookups",

240
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:04,415
especially after I've
just been dumped.

241
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,550
What happened?

242
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,519
Like you have to ask?

243
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:10,021
You want me to come over?

244
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,657
That depends.

245
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,292
Do you like strawberries
infused with cognac hand
dipped in dark chocolate?

246
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,895
Strawberries and cognac?

247
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,096
Can I come?

248
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,264
You already did.

249
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,999
Twice.

250
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,066
I'll be right there.

251
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,946
Since when did you start
fucking Martha Stuart?

252
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,282
One does what one has
to, to get a man.

253
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,850
I've had a lot of men,

254
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,420
I have never injected a
strawberry with cognac before.

255
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,156
Well, not in the
literal sense.

256
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,828
It doesn't
matter anyway.

257
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,930
I'm done. I'm in
my mid-thirties.

258
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:55,567
Time to acknowledge the
fact that I'm destined
to be a gay spinster.

259
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:59,304
If the thought of dog hair
everywhere didn't disgust
me, I'd be a gay cliche.

260
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,206
Trust me.

261
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,107
You don't need a small
dog to be a gay cliche.

262
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,409
Thanks.

263
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,278
Either way, I'm
tired and done.

264
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,348
I'm sick of chasing
men only to have my
heart broken every time.

265
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,133
Ok, enough.

266
00:14:12,134 --> 00:14:13,917
I'm taking you shopping. If
you're going to be single,

267
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,019
you need the
proper tools.

268
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,487
I'm afraid of
you right now.

269
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,256
You're smarter
than you look.

270
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,457
Come on.

271
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,328
*

272
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:27,398
If I know you, a kinky
evening of sex means
using your left hand

273
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,102
and your toy arsenal is
nothing more than a two
year old jar of lube.

274
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:34,105
Look being single requires
the proper equipment

275
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,909
and there's no better
place to get it than here!

276
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:38,910
Fleshjack.

277
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,612
Better than a real mouth.
Why?

278
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,550
Because it doesn't speak.

279
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,053
Dildo. No more
gambling with what's on
the other side of the zipper.

280
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,990
Nothing is worse than
unwrapping the whopper
only to find they

281
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,943
skimped on the pickle.

282
00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:57,895
Now you can come home to
Jeff Stryker every night.

283
00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,497
Mini projector.

284
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:04,569
Now, you can watch your favorite
pornos in HD above your head!

285
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,405
I can see you've done extensive
research on the subject.

286
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,274
Hey. I may not be
good at many things,

287
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:12,176
but the things I'm good
at, I'm an expert in.

288
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,344
Minty Fresh.

289
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:16,614
Here.

290
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,271
Richard.

291
00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:24,188
Thank you very much,
enjoy sir.

292
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,095
I can't believe you
make me eat here.

293
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,647
Are you kidding me?

294
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:34,198
Everyone knows the best food
in LA comes from food trucks.

295
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,434
Yeah, so does E. Coli.

296
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,269
Hey, I got you something.

297
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,540
Its a sex toy.

298
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,443
If this goes where
I think it goes,

299
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,979
you and I are gonna have
a big problem, buddy.

300
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,297
It doesn't.

301
00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:50,614
Trust me, you're
going to like this.

302
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,051
I went shopping with
Myles last night.

303
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:56,054
I was trying to cheer him
up, he just broke up with
his newest boyfriend.

304
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,188
Another one?

305
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,057
I feel so bad
for that guy.

306
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,525
Yeah, me too.

307
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,060
Myles is a bit much.

308
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,461
No, I meant Myles.

309
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,532
You feel bad for Myles.

310
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,401
Don't. If you want to
pity someone, try me.

311
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,071
Myles and I made a deal
ten years ago that if
we were still single

312
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:16,074
by the time we're
thirty-five, we'd be a couple.

313
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,626
That's ridiculous.

314
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:19,177
Myles is a successful,
smart lawyer.

315
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,144
He can do so much
better than you.

316
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,312
I know, right.

317
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,897
Wait, what?

318
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,481
I don't even know why
you're complaining. I
think it's a great idea.

319
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,217
You'd be lucky to have
a guy like Myles.

320
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,353
That is the last thing
in the world I need.

321
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,655
You're crazy, but
we both know that.

322
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,690
Seems like if you don't want
to be Myles next boyfriend,

323
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,660
you're going to have to do
something about it - quick.

324
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,396
Myles turns thirty-five
in one month,

325
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,631
we have thirty days to
find Myles a boyfriend.

326
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,700
No, not "we," you!

327
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,544
(KNOCK)

328
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,246
It's open.

329
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,048
Hey!

330
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,017
You ready for
boys night out?

331
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,586
Yeah, can I get
you a drink?

332
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:02,787
I trained you well.

333
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,355
Nope, I got it.

334
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:09,727
Hey, can we stop by my
place, I didn't have time
to go back to the station.

335
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:12,196
Sure, whatever
you need to do.

336
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:18,603
Ah. I waited all
day for that.

337
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,038
What are
you looking at?

338
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,607
I rarely see you
in uniform.

339
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,142
You like a
man in uniform?

340
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,077
Who doesn't?

341
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,430
What do you think?

342
00:17:28,431 --> 00:17:30,782
I think you look less
like a real cop and more
like a male stripper.

343
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,720
No wonder you're so easily
able to catch the bad guys.

344
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,422
Oh really?

345
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,223
Male stripper.

346
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:45,229
(MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE)

347
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,300
Have you been a
bad boy, Myles?

348
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,302
I may have
broken a few laws

349
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,704
Someone needs to do
a little "hard time."

350
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:17,862
We should get going.

351
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,264
Yeah, we should go.

352
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,016
I'll get my keys.

353
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,767
I'll get my...
I'll be in the car.

354
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:38,149
*

355
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,001
A gogo bar?

356
00:18:40,002 --> 00:18:41,852
Hey, every once in a while a
guy has to get his gay on.

357
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:44,122
If you're worried about
not being gay enough,

358
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:48,259
I'd say you're good for the
next...year, maybe ten.

359
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,712
Two martini's so dirty

360
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,164
the health department will shut
your ass down for serving them.

361
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,632
What is is with
you and gogo bars?

362
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,368
Hey, now I have four of
my favorite things.

363
00:18:57,370 --> 00:19:00,838
Booze, music, hot,
almost naked men.

364
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,772
That's three.

365
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,309
Awww.

366
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,844
You shouldn't snub your
nose at gogo bars.

367
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:11,816
They are an important tool in
the gay mans sexual arsenal.

368
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,218
Like candles and chocolate
dipped strawberries?

369
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,786
Yes and No.

370
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,756
Look, you need less
romance and more sex.

371
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,191
Ok, bear with me.

372
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,160
Define gogo boy.

373
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,861
A young.

374
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,630
Fit, attractive male.

375
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,899
Wearing next to nothing -

376
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:30,668
thrusting his engorged...

377
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,637
Let's just say he's
a sexy male dancer.

378
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,106
Yes, exactly, SEXY!

379
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,574
Men are visual animals. We see
a hot guy, we get turned on.

380
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,444
Gogo boys are just
eye candy here to

381
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:44,215
stimulate our adrenaline and
boost our testosterone.

382
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:48,052
Ok.

383
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:51,655
So, they're here to tease.
You can't have them, you can
just look and gently touch.

384
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,426
This is all fine,

385
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,428
but has nothing
to do with me.

386
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,665
That is where you
are wrong. It has
everything to do with you.

387
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,501
Guys want them, but
they go home with me?

388
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,503
Finally, yes!
You want a man,

389
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,672
these boys will
help you get one.

390
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,640
I want someone who
cares about me.

391
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:12,160
Not someone who
has sex with me

392
00:20:12,161 --> 00:20:14,679
while thinking of some greased
up muscle twink in a g-string.

393
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:15,980
Sex is sex.

394
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,716
For you.

395
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,751
You need to relax, ok?

396
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,321
Look, see that
cutie over there?

397
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,289
He's serving up mouth
shots, go get him.

398
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,924
Along with possible meningitis.

399
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,859
I think I'll stick with
my cocktail, out of my

400
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,596
partially clean glass.

401
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,232
I'd rather not.

402
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,235
I know, but do it anyway.

403
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,336
Here you go.

404
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,010
Wow.

405
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,246
If I'm going to do it, I
might as well do it right.

406
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:58,656
(OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING)

407
00:20:58,658 --> 00:20:59,724
Got a minute?

408
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,660
No. I'm up to my
nose in briefs.

409
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,795
And not the good kind.

410
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:12,403
What is wrong with men?

411
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,038
Oh, at least its not a
complicated question.

412
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,507
Let me clear my calendar
for the next decade

413
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:19,594
and we can figure it out.

414
00:21:19,595 --> 00:21:22,680
Do you have any idea what its
like to have an ovary full of
eggs screaming "fertilize me?"

415
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,616
It adds a whole new dimension
to the misery of being single.

416
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,551
No, and I don't want to either.

417
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,604
In fact, I'd rather
not discuss it.

418
00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:31,656
Being gay does not excuse you
from having to deal with this.

419
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:34,625
I'm pretty sure it does.

420
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,029
Besides, I'm newly
single now too.

421
00:21:38,031 --> 00:21:40,165
Aw.

422
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,300
Soon it will be time
for you and Brody to be
a couple, how sweet.

423
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,802
No! And when did I
tell you about that?

424
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,907
If I know Brody, he's probably
forgotten all about it.

425
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,459
Remind him.

426
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:53,010
And videotape his
expression when you do.

427
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,979
It'll be a good one.

428
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,348
I'm planning on Brody not
remembering our little plan.

429
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,517
Why? He's a great
catch, and so hot.

430
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:02,420
But he's not
relationship material.

431
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,022
Well, what about the two
of you just fooling around?

432
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:07,792
I cannot understand how your
best friend is a sexy cop

433
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:10,094
and you have
not hooked up yet.

434
00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:12,395
Contrary to what you may
think, gay people don't all
just sleep with each other.

435
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:16,434
Really? I didn't get that
memo and neither did the
rest of West Hollywood.

436
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:22,440
Brody is my friend. You
don't sleep with your friends.

437
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:24,875
How is it that I've never
heard of any of these rules.

438
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:26,911
I swear you make them
up as you go along.

439
00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:29,547
Well, Brody and I don't
see each other that way.

440
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,382
Don't tell me that
you're not his type.

441
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,384
Brody only has one type.

442
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:35,653
Facing down.

443
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,391
Ok, thanks.

444
00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:41,459
Good chat.

445
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:54,572
*

446
00:22:54,574 --> 00:23:04,582
*

447
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:14,592
*

448
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:24,602
*

449
00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:34,612
*

450
00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:44,622
*

451
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:54,632
*

452
00:23:54,634 --> 00:24:04,642
*

453
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:12,683
*

454
00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:13,451
Aw.

455
00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:15,186
Great.

456
00:24:41,214 --> 00:24:46,617
(FACETIME RINGING)

457
00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,220
Hey Brody.

458
00:24:49,222 --> 00:24:50,921
Someone's getting busy.

459
00:24:50,923 --> 00:24:51,689
Huh?

460
00:24:51,691 --> 00:24:54,191
Oh, wow, no.

461
00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:57,061
Talk about
incriminating evidence.

462
00:24:57,063 --> 00:24:58,780
I'm just cleaning up.

463
00:24:58,781 --> 00:25:00,498
Everything is
covered in lube.

464
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:01,866
That a boy!

465
00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:05,669
It's not what it looks like.
What do you want Brody?

466
00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:07,938
I just called to tell you I
went south of the border

467
00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:10,074
and I'm not talking about a
little road trip to Tijuana.

468
00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:13,511
I just made it with a
smoking hot Latino "Papi."

469
00:25:13,513 --> 00:25:15,880
Dude, I don't know what's
gotten into me lately.

470
00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:17,581
Probably about nine inches.

471
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,616
Quick.

472
00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:19,683
Nice.

473
00:25:21,654 --> 00:25:24,221
Well, I was having a
nice night by myself.

474
00:25:24,223 --> 00:25:25,956
I could tell.

475
00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:28,476
Not that.

476
00:25:28,477 --> 00:25:30,995
I cooked a terrific
dinner, read a good
book, played cards.

477
00:25:30,997 --> 00:25:34,698
I was about to get into this
big, soft bed without some
strange guy next to me,

478
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,734
snoring and farting his
way through the night.

479
00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:40,237
You sound miserable.

480
00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,805
I am.

481
00:25:44,977 --> 00:25:50,147
I'm going to find you
the perfect guy.

482
00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:53,501
No, no.

483
00:25:53,502 --> 00:25:56,854
Dude, I'm your best friend.
Who is more qualified than
me to find a guy for you?

484
00:25:56,856 --> 00:26:01,258
Your argument is compelling,
and as always, disconcerting.

485
00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:02,726
Trust me.

486
00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:04,962
I've met a lot of great
guys over the years.

487
00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:08,098
If I wasn't a confirmed
bachelor, I would have
scooped one up myself.

488
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,268
But hey, my
loss is your gain.

489
00:26:11,270 --> 00:26:13,304
I'm going to find you
a husband, buddy.

490
00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:16,173
You better get buckle up, cause
we're going on a manhunt.

491
00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:17,808
I'll brace for impact.

492
00:26:17,810 --> 00:26:18,909
Bye.

493
00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:23,714
Hi, I'm Myles.

494
00:26:23,716 --> 00:26:24,982
It's really nice
to meet you.

495
00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:27,117
Brody told me a
lot about you.

496
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,453
I'm Stu.

497
00:26:29,454 --> 00:26:31,788
It's so funny you
picked this place. It's
my favorite coffee shop...

498
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:33,257
and you bought
me an eclair,

499
00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:35,025
I love these.

500
00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:37,595
Here's a double
decaf soy latte, too.

501
00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:40,097
I like to do my research
before I meet someone.

502
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,267
When you say "you like to
do your research before
you meet someone,"

503
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:44,935
What exactly do you
mean by that?

504
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,838
I like to know
who I'm meeting.

505
00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:50,740
I just do a standard
Google, Facebook, LinkedIn
search before I meet them.

506
00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:52,142
You know, see
if we're compatible.

507
00:26:52,144 --> 00:26:54,678
Find out what you're into.

508
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:59,249
So, you do this kind
of investigation with
every guy you go out with?

509
00:26:59,251 --> 00:27:01,352
It helps me to come up with
some things to talk about.

510
00:27:01,354 --> 00:27:03,354
There's nothing
worse than meeting a
guy for the first time

511
00:27:03,356 --> 00:27:06,790
and having nothing
to talk about.

512
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:09,660
My research also helps me
do things like this...

513
00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:15,733
It's your
favorite flower.

514
00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:17,635
I also know you played
lacrosse in high school.

515
00:27:17,637 --> 00:27:20,971
You love to go camping
and you have a French
Bulldog named Doug.

516
00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:24,274
Could you excuse
me for one moment?

517
00:27:24,276 --> 00:27:26,143
I need to use
the restroom.

518
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,112
Do you want me to
order for you?

519
00:27:28,114 --> 00:27:30,748
Vanilla latte with
extra foam, extra hot.

520
00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:32,116
Right?

521
00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:34,318
Oh wow. My sister
just texted.

522
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,320
She swallowed
a rusty nail.

523
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:38,789
I'm sorry, I'm going to have
to take her to the hospital.

524
00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:42,993
Call me.

525
00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:53,103
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS)
(PHONE RINGS)

526
00:27:53,105 --> 00:27:54,004
What's up?

527
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,673
Ok, I officially give up.

528
00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:58,776
No more men.

529
00:27:58,777 --> 00:28:01,878
Ok, let's start with the mildly
over-dramatic and work our way
back to the partially sane.

530
00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:04,048
I'm like kryptonite
to my Superman.

531
00:28:04,050 --> 00:28:06,316
I'll never find
someone to love me.

532
00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:08,952
You're probably just coming
on too strong, buddy.

533
00:28:08,954 --> 00:28:12,990
You just need to relax,
get to know someone,
have a little fun.

534
00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:15,092
So it is me?

535
00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:17,395
It's not you.

536
00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:19,697
Look, I'm just setting you
up with the wrong guys,
give me one more chance.

537
00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:20,921
No.

538
00:28:20,922 --> 00:28:22,144
I'm heading straight
to the kennel.

539
00:28:22,145 --> 00:28:23,367
I'm going to pick out
a little white dog

540
00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:25,936
and spend the rest
of my days alone.

541
00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,839
Come on, one more chance.
One more date, I promise.

542
00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:32,993
Ok.

543
00:28:32,994 --> 00:28:35,111
I'll consider one more
date, under one condition.

544
00:28:35,114 --> 00:28:37,314
It's non-negotiable.

545
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:40,417
What are your terms, counselor?

546
00:28:40,419 --> 00:28:41,852
Will you come with?

547
00:28:41,854 --> 00:28:43,420
Oh God.

548
00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:45,806
I won't do this alone.

549
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:48,191
You pick out a date for me, and
I'll pick out someone for you.

550
00:28:48,194 --> 00:28:51,361
If you're there then
you'll get to witness the
disaster first hand.

551
00:28:51,363 --> 00:28:54,431
It's like having
box seats at a

552
00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:56,650
NASCAR event
where you know

553
00:28:56,651 --> 00:28:58,868
there's going to be a multi-car
pile up before it's all over.

554
00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:00,137
Well as long as
you're going into

555
00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:02,272
it with such
a positive attitude.

556
00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:05,175
Positive that I'm going
to end up alone again at
the end of the evening.

557
00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:06,376
Bye.

558
00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:16,754
I hope you
like this place.

559
00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:18,355
They have the best
stuffed mushrooms.

560
00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:19,890
I love stuffed
mushrooms.

561
00:29:19,892 --> 00:29:22,793
I had them the last
time I was...

562
00:29:22,795 --> 00:29:24,428
when my date
decided to ditch me.

563
00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:27,898
Oh, sorry.

564
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,517
Well,

565
00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:31,135
Hopefully, tonight will
be better for you.

566
00:29:31,137 --> 00:29:32,836
Here's to not being
dumped tonight.

567
00:29:32,838 --> 00:29:33,904
Wow, sorry.

568
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:35,839
Myles can be a tad
bit depressing.

569
00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:38,375
Hence having the waiter
remove all the sharp
objects from the table.

570
00:29:38,377 --> 00:29:39,777
You're an asshole.

571
00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:44,081
You don't recognize
me, do you?

572
00:29:46,051 --> 00:29:47,351
Grindr.

573
00:29:48,854 --> 00:29:51,789
I tried to message you
a couple times, but...

574
00:29:51,791 --> 00:29:53,490
you never responded.

575
00:29:53,492 --> 00:29:55,893
I'm sorry, I'm not really
good with technology.

576
00:29:55,895 --> 00:29:58,228
I'm just a
simple farm boy.

577
00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:00,864
Oh yeah? Where
are you from?

578
00:30:00,866 --> 00:30:02,499
New York.

579
00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:05,135
How was the harvest in
Manhattan this season?

580
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:09,907
I'm originally from Colombia.

581
00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:11,341
My parents are farmers.

582
00:30:11,343 --> 00:30:13,443
Organic coffee trade.

583
00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:15,913
There's no such thing
as organic coffee.

584
00:30:15,915 --> 00:30:18,849
I hear it's just a
marketing ploy to drive
up the cost of beans.

585
00:30:18,851 --> 00:30:21,619
My family's in the
coffee business, too.

586
00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:24,388
We sell espresso machines and
roasted beans...mostly organic.

587
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:27,257
What's your family name?

588
00:30:27,259 --> 00:30:28,258
Fiori.

589
00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:30,227
I've heard that name before.

590
00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,129
I think my family supplies
your coffee beans.

591
00:30:32,131 --> 00:30:32,996
Get out of here.

592
00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:34,031
I'm serious.

593
00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:35,599
I'm a total coffee whore.

594
00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:38,869
A double decaf latte, extra
soy, extra foam, extra hot.

595
00:30:38,871 --> 00:30:42,840
You don't want to know
what I'd do for one of those
before work in the morning.

596
00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:44,692
And you said it
was just a little

597
00:30:44,693 --> 00:30:46,543
vanilla froth on the corner
of your mouth the other day.

598
00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:50,113
Hey, what goes on between my
barista and I is my business.

599
00:30:51,217 --> 00:30:52,382
Do you know Vincent?

600
00:30:54,086 --> 00:30:56,119
Vincent Fiori. He's
only my brother!

601
00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:57,888
Are you serious?

602
00:30:57,890 --> 00:30:58,555
Yes.

603
00:30:58,557 --> 00:31:00,357
What an awesome guy.

604
00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:02,158
Yeah, Vincent's been
trying to get me to travel
with him for years.

605
00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:04,261
I think he's even told
me about your farm.

606
00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:05,062
No way.

607
00:31:05,064 --> 00:31:07,014
Yes.

608
00:31:07,015 --> 00:31:08,965
We have one thousand
acres of the lushest
farmland you've ever seen.

609
00:31:08,968 --> 00:31:10,968
So how about them Dodgers?

610
00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:13,254
I don't follow sports.

611
00:31:13,255 --> 00:31:15,539
Sports are what straight guys
talk about when they have
nothing better to say, come on!

612
00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:18,242
Yeah, right.

613
00:31:18,243 --> 00:31:20,944
I'm starting to regret having
the waiter remove those sharp
objects from the table.

614
00:31:20,946 --> 00:31:24,047
Yeah, I know. Give me a
minute and I'll forge a
shiv out of a breadstick.

615
00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:25,616
Do you think they'll
notice if we left?

616
00:31:25,618 --> 00:31:28,151
I've always wanted to
be the guy that leaves.

617
00:31:28,153 --> 00:31:31,188
Myles. That is a horrible
thing to do to your date.

618
00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:32,155
I know, you're right.

619
00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:34,074
I'm sorry.

620
00:31:34,075 --> 00:31:35,992
I didn't say we shouldn't
do it. I just said it was a
horrible thing to do.

621
00:31:35,995 --> 00:31:38,095
Which makes it
so much fun!

622
00:31:38,097 --> 00:31:40,464
Excuse me.

623
00:31:40,466 --> 00:31:41,899
I'm going to go too.

624
00:31:51,610 --> 00:31:53,443
"Fiori."

625
00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:55,545
Well that went
predictably bad.

626
00:31:57,950 --> 00:32:01,218
I'll give you that much.
Tonight needs to end
with a stiff drink.

627
00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:02,386
Scotch?

628
00:32:02,388 --> 00:32:05,156
No, I got a big
meeting tomorrow.

629
00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:07,925
Come on, hang out, chill.
You don't have to rush
home to Jeff Stryker.

630
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,326
Jeff Stryker?

631
00:32:12,064 --> 00:32:13,597
Oh, the dildo?

632
00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:16,700
Here.

633
00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:21,238
You know I can send
my cleaning lady
over if you want.

634
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,308
She's only seventy-five
bucks a visit. She'll
bring her own napalm.

635
00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:26,143
Hey, I made a path
to the couch.

636
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,478
That counts for
something, right?

637
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,213
You need someone to
take care of you.

638
00:32:30,215 --> 00:32:33,283
No, I need to hire a maid.

639
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,085
Everyone needs
someone. Even you.

640
00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:37,204
What are you afraid of?

641
00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:39,322
Of being nagged to
death about being single.

642
00:32:39,325 --> 00:32:41,625
Oh, we need to
get you a man.

643
00:32:41,627 --> 00:32:43,293
Give me your phone.

644
00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:49,166
Alright, take your shirt off.

645
00:32:49,168 --> 00:32:50,067
What?

646
00:32:50,069 --> 00:32:52,386
Take your shirt off.

647
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:54,704
No. You're not putting
half naked pictures of
me up on the internet.

648
00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:55,639
No way.

649
00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:57,308
It's not the internet.

650
00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:58,976
It's an app and
everyone does it.

651
00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:01,979
Look, you need to try something
different for a change.

652
00:33:01,981 --> 00:33:03,580
No.

653
00:33:03,582 --> 00:33:05,282
How do you do it?

654
00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:09,152
Very well and often
on all fours.

655
00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:12,689
Trust me, it is better
than being alone.

656
00:33:12,691 --> 00:33:15,158
I'm really not
comfortable with this.

657
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,195
It's all about advertising.
If you want to catch a fish,

658
00:33:18,197 --> 00:33:20,097
you've got to show
him your worm.

659
00:33:20,099 --> 00:33:23,266
No one is
seeing my "worm",

660
00:33:23,268 --> 00:33:25,602
and the shirt stays on.
It's non-negotiable.

661
00:33:25,604 --> 00:33:26,536
Fine.

662
00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:28,071
Leave the shirt on.

663
00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,639
Now smile and say,

664
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:33,677
"I'm a bad little boy who's
looking for a sexy daddy."

665
00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:35,412
"Cheese"

666
00:33:37,549 --> 00:33:39,549
"Cheese" will do.

667
00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:45,389
Look at that!

668
00:33:45,391 --> 00:33:46,189
Oh my god.

669
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:47,057
It's beautiful.

670
00:33:47,059 --> 00:33:48,559
No its not.

671
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,060
It's awful, delete it.

672
00:33:50,062 --> 00:33:51,528
No way.

673
00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:56,099
I've got to delete this.

674
00:33:58,337 --> 00:34:00,570
(BEEP)

675
00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:03,073
Wow, ok.

676
00:34:03,075 --> 00:34:04,608
(BEEP)

677
00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:06,243
Wow.

678
00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:07,310
(BEEP)

679
00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:09,346
Now?

680
00:34:11,784 --> 00:34:17,821
*

681
00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:36,640
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

682
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:44,314
Cute.

683
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:48,518
I like the "Abercrombie meets

684
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,155
Log-Cabin-Republic can"
thing you've got going on.

685
00:34:52,157 --> 00:34:54,491
I have to tell you I've never
done this kind of thing before.

686
00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,460
And what kind of thing is that?

687
00:34:56,462 --> 00:34:58,695
Meet up with a guy I don't know
in the middle of the night.

688
00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:00,130
And what do you
think so far?

689
00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:02,099
I'm nervous.

690
00:35:02,101 --> 00:35:04,434
How adorable. You
want to come in?

691
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:07,104
You're not going to
kill me, are you?

692
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:09,172
Do you really think that someone
who is planning on killing you,

693
00:35:09,174 --> 00:35:13,143
is going to answer that
question with a yes?

694
00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:15,712
Feel like taking
your chances?

695
00:35:15,714 --> 00:35:19,583
I wasn't planning on
revealing I was this
neurotic until much later.

696
00:35:19,585 --> 00:35:22,219
The cat's out of the bag now.

697
00:35:22,221 --> 00:35:24,454
Offer still stands.

698
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,379
Can I get you a drink?

699
00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,348
I've got whiskey, beer, vodka.

700
00:35:51,350 --> 00:35:52,782
I'm fine.

701
00:35:52,784 --> 00:35:54,384
Hit?

702
00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:56,520
No, I'm good.

703
00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:57,621
You mind?

704
00:35:57,623 --> 00:35:58,855
No.

705
00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:05,395
Are you sure?

706
00:36:05,397 --> 00:36:07,197
No, I'm fine.

707
00:36:10,402 --> 00:36:12,435
So what happens now?

708
00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:15,939
Whatever you want.

709
00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:27,584
I don't bite...
very hard at first.

710
00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:28,885
Sure I can't
change your mind

711
00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:30,453
about that drink?

712
00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:34,357
Make it a double.

713
00:36:44,903 --> 00:36:50,507
(FACETIME RINGING)

714
00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:51,575
What's up, buddy?

715
00:36:51,577 --> 00:36:54,911
Hey, I took your advice.

716
00:36:54,913 --> 00:36:56,246
Where are you?

717
00:36:56,248 --> 00:36:59,382
I'm at this seriously
hot guy's house.

718
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:01,785
Don't even say you did it,
I will not believe you.

719
00:37:01,787 --> 00:37:04,354
This is, so hot.

720
00:37:04,356 --> 00:37:05,422
Where are you?

721
00:37:05,424 --> 00:37:06,823
His name is Hunter.

722
00:37:06,825 --> 00:37:09,359
Yeah, I'm sure it is.

723
00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:11,995
Shh. Here he comes. I gotta
go; I'll call you later.

724
00:37:16,468 --> 00:37:17,434
Hey, wait...

725
00:37:17,435 --> 00:37:18,401
Was that your backup plan?

726
00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,303
Oh, no it's just my buddy.

727
00:37:20,305 --> 00:37:23,506
He always calls me when
he meets a hot guy so...

728
00:37:25,544 --> 00:37:27,944
I just called him.

729
00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:28,712
(PHONE RINGING)

730
00:37:28,714 --> 00:37:30,680
I'm flattered.

731
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:32,015
I'm sorry.

732
00:37:32,017 --> 00:37:33,283
You can get it if you want.

733
00:37:33,285 --> 00:37:39,322
One second.

734
00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:44,261
What do you want?

735
00:37:44,263 --> 00:37:45,428
What are you doing?

736
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:46,863
I'm taking your advice.

737
00:37:46,865 --> 00:37:48,365
My advice?

738
00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:50,300
Yeah, meet people and have fun.

739
00:37:50,302 --> 00:37:51,585
Look, I gotta go.

740
00:37:51,586 --> 00:37:52,869
I don't want to be rude.
I'll call you later.

741
00:37:52,871 --> 00:37:53,970
Hey wait.

742
00:37:53,972 --> 00:37:55,538
No, I'll call you later.

743
00:38:00,679 --> 00:38:02,846
That was ridiculous I know.

744
00:38:02,848 --> 00:38:04,648
Now I'm embarrassed.

745
00:38:04,650 --> 00:38:05,582
No.

746
00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:07,350
Don't worry, it was sweet.

747
00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:13,056
Well if there's no one
else you'd like to
ring up at midnight,

748
00:38:13,058 --> 00:38:15,659
are you ready to get
to know each other?

749
00:38:17,496 --> 00:38:20,497
Do you mind if we just
hang out tonight?

750
00:38:20,499 --> 00:38:21,865
Oh.

751
00:38:21,867 --> 00:38:25,402
Okay - no worries.

752
00:38:25,404 --> 00:38:27,804
I'm down with whatever.

753
00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:29,539
You sure?

754
00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:30,807
Yeah, that's fine.

755
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:34,978
I just assumed that
was what you wanted.

756
00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:38,815
I'm not really like that.

757
00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:39,916
Me neither.

758
00:38:39,918 --> 00:38:42,352
I'm really just a simple,

759
00:38:42,354 --> 00:38:45,355
romantic homebody.

760
00:38:45,357 --> 00:38:49,359
I'm good with just
hanging out tonight.

761
00:38:49,361 --> 00:38:51,695
That's very cool of you.

762
00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:54,764
You just seem like a
really great guy.

763
00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:56,366
I do.

764
00:39:01,073 --> 00:39:06,609
You know...if you want to put
your hand on my leg again, I
won't freak out, I promise.

765
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:19,089
*

766
00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:38,775
(OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING)

767
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:47,751
(MORNING SOUNDS. BIRDS CHIRPING)

768
00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:55,024
Aww.

769
00:39:55,026 --> 00:39:56,926
How Sweet.

770
00:39:56,928 --> 00:40:00,096
Well that was certainly hot.

771
00:40:00,098 --> 00:40:01,865
I needed that.

772
00:40:01,867 --> 00:40:04,000
Apparently several times.

773
00:40:04,002 --> 00:40:05,568
Listen, I need to go,

774
00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:07,904
I have class.

775
00:40:07,906 --> 00:40:08,972
Oh.

776
00:40:08,974 --> 00:40:10,440
What are you studying?

777
00:40:10,442 --> 00:40:12,742
It's an aerobics class.

778
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:13,676
Oh.

779
00:40:13,678 --> 00:40:14,644
Is it tough?

780
00:40:14,646 --> 00:40:17,647
It's actually quite fun.

781
00:40:17,648 --> 00:40:20,649
No. I mean getting back
to the 1980's when they
actually taught aerobics.

782
00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:22,652
It's coming back,
I'll have you know.

783
00:40:22,654 --> 00:40:25,021
I'll have to remember to
tell my leg warmers that.

784
00:40:25,023 --> 00:40:27,690
What are leg warmers?

785
00:40:27,692 --> 00:40:29,559
You're kidding, right?

786
00:40:29,561 --> 00:40:32,829
No, and unfortunately I
don't have time to find out.

787
00:40:32,831 --> 00:40:35,465
I need to leave,

788
00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:36,766
I have to be
there at eleven.

789
00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:38,568
Oh my god!
It's eleven?!

790
00:40:43,542 --> 00:40:47,510
(PHONE RINGING)

791
00:40:47,512 --> 00:40:50,180
Hey, what happened to
you? You never called
me back last night.

792
00:40:50,182 --> 00:40:52,081
It's Diane.

793
00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,083
Brody, do you know
where Myles is?

794
00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,486
Well did you try him at home?

795
00:40:56,488 --> 00:40:58,955
It's a wonder you're
not a detective yet.

796
00:40:58,957 --> 00:41:02,058
Uh. I don't know. I haven't
seen him since last night.

797
00:41:02,060 --> 00:41:05,895
Well, he had a client
meeting on the books at
9:30 and he missed it.

798
00:41:05,897 --> 00:41:10,233
Ok. Let me go check in
on him. I'll get back
to you in ten minutes.

799
00:41:10,235 --> 00:41:11,668
Thank you.

800
00:41:13,538 --> 00:41:15,171
Myles. Are you in there?

801
00:41:15,173 --> 00:41:16,573
Don't you have a key?

802
00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:20,477
Why would I need a key, huh?

803
00:41:21,746 --> 00:41:22,979
Is there a problem officers?

804
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:26,583
No sir. We're just
responding to a call.

805
00:41:26,585 --> 00:41:29,319
Do you know Myles?

806
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,054
I do. Quiet fella, but nice.
Always a hello in the hallway.

807
00:41:32,057 --> 00:41:33,223
Raised right.

808
00:41:33,225 --> 00:41:35,225
Smells good too.

809
00:41:35,227 --> 00:41:37,227
What did he do?

810
00:41:37,228 --> 00:41:39,228
He didn't do anything. We're
just checking in on him.

811
00:41:39,231 --> 00:41:40,530
Did you happen to
see him last night?

812
00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:42,182
Nope.

813
00:41:42,183 --> 00:41:43,833
Don't think he came home or
I would have heard him.

814
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:45,201
I hear everything.

815
00:41:45,203 --> 00:41:48,538
Even with this bad
ear, I catch it all.

816
00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:50,807
Let me know if you
need my help.

817
00:41:50,809 --> 00:41:53,610
I'm a vigilante you know.

818
00:41:53,612 --> 00:41:56,746
I think we've got it covered.
But, thank you for your help.

819
00:41:56,748 --> 00:41:59,616
Anything for officers
of the law.

820
00:41:59,618 --> 00:42:01,985
Keep up the good work boys.

821
00:42:17,202 --> 00:42:19,569
Myles.

822
00:42:19,571 --> 00:42:22,038
Myles you here?

823
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,573
Myles?

824
00:42:24,809 --> 00:42:26,109
Myles?

825
00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:33,182
Wow.

826
00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:34,884
Who is his roommate, Mr. Clean?

827
00:42:37,756 --> 00:42:39,840
A carafe?

828
00:42:39,841 --> 00:42:41,925
Silver shaker? Who does he
entertain here? James Bond?

829
00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:51,568
When blockbuster runs out of
DVD's to rent, do they come here
and borrow a few from Myles?

830
00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:55,104
Ok. Enough with the running
commentary, can you just see if
you can find something please.

831
00:42:55,106 --> 00:42:56,139
Like what, dust?

832
00:42:56,141 --> 00:42:57,807
Good luck with that.

833
00:43:01,646 --> 00:43:02,845
Come on.

834
00:43:05,584 --> 00:43:07,150
He never came home last night.

835
00:43:07,152 --> 00:43:09,185
I'm sure he's fine.

836
00:43:09,186 --> 00:43:11,219
Yeah. Famous last words
before they find his
body in a dumpster.

837
00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:14,324
Look, we need to put an APB
out and get more eyes out
there looking for him now.

838
00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:18,261
Before we sound the alarm,
let's stop by his office
and see what we can find.

839
00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:19,762
Relax.

840
00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:20,797
It'll be fine.

841
00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:22,131
Just one quick stop, okay?

842
00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:23,333
Ok.

843
00:43:35,981 --> 00:43:37,146
There you are!

844
00:43:37,148 --> 00:43:38,498
Thanks for covering...

845
00:43:38,499 --> 00:43:39,849
Wait a second. Why do
you look like this?

846
00:43:39,851 --> 00:43:41,184
Is this a walk of shame?

847
00:43:41,186 --> 00:43:42,419
I'm not ashamed of anything.

848
00:43:42,420 --> 00:43:43,653
Well, you obviously
didn't do it right.

849
00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:45,655
I wouldn't be so
sure about that.

850
00:43:45,657 --> 00:43:46,990
Ok.

851
00:43:46,992 --> 00:43:49,859
I want to hear everything,
and it better be filthy.

852
00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:51,828
Phone numbers,
names, descriptions.

853
00:43:51,830 --> 00:43:53,296
Is video asking too much?

854
00:43:53,298 --> 00:43:55,832
A gentleman never
kisses and tells.

855
00:43:55,834 --> 00:43:58,234
A gentleman who doesn't tell
is asking for a beating.

856
00:43:58,236 --> 00:44:00,637
Ok. But only because I'm
afraid of you right now.

857
00:44:00,639 --> 00:44:02,639
Wait, hold that thought.

858
00:44:02,641 --> 00:44:05,942
Before you start, I have
to call Brody and have him
call off the SWAT team

859
00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:08,044
he's going to
send after you.

860
00:44:09,347 --> 00:44:10,880
(PHONE RINGING)

861
00:44:10,882 --> 00:44:12,415
I was just calling you.

862
00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:14,317
See? I told you
he was fine.

863
00:44:14,319 --> 00:44:16,386
Has he been here
the whole time?

864
00:44:16,388 --> 00:44:19,022
He just got here. Hence
me trying to call you.

865
00:44:19,024 --> 00:44:21,391
Hey, I'm standing
right here.

866
00:44:21,393 --> 00:44:24,827
Diane called, said you
didn't come into work.
She made us all nervous.

867
00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:27,296
I just came in a little
late. You really didn't
have to call Brody.

868
00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:30,433
Don't blame me, it's my
maternal instincts -
I'm a slave to them.

869
00:44:32,437 --> 00:44:35,371
Suddenly this day has just
taken a turn for the better.

870
00:44:35,373 --> 00:44:38,775
Hello, my name is Diane.

871
00:44:38,777 --> 00:44:40,877
I hope you enjoy the
softer of the two sexes.

872
00:44:40,879 --> 00:44:44,313
Hi. I'm officer
Garcia...and I do.

873
00:44:46,885 --> 00:44:48,151
Where were you?

874
00:44:48,153 --> 00:44:49,352
I thought something happened.

875
00:44:49,354 --> 00:44:51,120
Something did.

876
00:44:51,122 --> 00:44:53,056
He was just about to tell
me all the sordid details.

877
00:44:53,058 --> 00:44:54,323
I'm dying to hear them.

878
00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:56,392
I have a feeling that
most of them are filthy.

879
00:44:56,394 --> 00:44:59,762
Well, I can't right
now. I've got a ton
of work to catch up on.

880
00:44:59,764 --> 00:45:01,264
So if you'd excuse me.

881
00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:04,967
Are you serious?
Is he serious?

882
00:45:04,969 --> 00:45:07,170
Look, could you
give us a minute?

883
00:45:07,172 --> 00:45:08,705
You take all the
time you need.

884
00:45:08,707 --> 00:45:10,740
You. Come with me.

885
00:45:13,445 --> 00:45:15,145
Ok. What were you doing?

886
00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:16,846
What were you thinking, going
to some strangers house

887
00:45:16,848 --> 00:45:17,847
in the middle of the
night for a hook up?

888
00:45:17,849 --> 00:45:19,916
It was your idea.

889
00:45:19,917 --> 00:45:21,984
I'm trying new things.
Plus, you do it all the time.

890
00:45:21,986 --> 00:45:23,419
I'm different than you.

891
00:45:23,421 --> 00:45:24,921
How?

892
00:45:24,923 --> 00:45:26,089
I'm a cop.

893
00:45:26,090 --> 00:45:27,256
I can defend myself,
unlike you...

894
00:45:27,258 --> 00:45:29,225
Oh please.

895
00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:30,226
Myles.

896
00:45:30,228 --> 00:45:32,512
I know guys,

897
00:45:32,513 --> 00:45:34,797
some of them are real creeps. I
see what people are capable of.

898
00:45:34,799 --> 00:45:35,998
I appreciate your concern.

899
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:36,966
Really, I do.

900
00:45:36,968 --> 00:45:38,401
But I can take care of myself,

901
00:45:38,403 --> 00:45:40,069
thank you.

902
00:45:40,071 --> 00:45:42,672
Really?

903
00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:45,274
Like the time those girls
scouts talked you into buying
a dozen boxes of cookies?

904
00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:47,527
That wasn't my fault.

905
00:45:47,528 --> 00:45:49,779
There were four of them
and only one of me.

906
00:45:49,781 --> 00:45:52,215
So do you have a first
name, Officer Garcia?

907
00:45:52,217 --> 00:45:55,218
It's Richard.

908
00:45:55,220 --> 00:45:57,887
As in...?

909
00:45:57,889 --> 00:46:00,156
Yes, Richard.

910
00:46:00,158 --> 00:46:01,958
Uh huh.

911
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,494
I can see that you're
packing a lot of equipment.

912
00:46:04,496 --> 00:46:09,265
Well, we're outfitted
with the proper gear to
handle any situation.

913
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:11,033
I can see that.

914
00:46:12,337 --> 00:46:14,470
Look, I've got to get to work.

915
00:46:14,472 --> 00:46:15,905
Can we fight about this later?

916
00:46:15,907 --> 00:46:19,375
Maybe, if I'm
not too busy... dad.

917
00:46:21,346 --> 00:46:25,214
So what does a girl have
to do to get her hands
on your nightstick?

918
00:46:25,216 --> 00:46:26,482
Well, it's actually bigger
than it looks.

919
00:46:26,484 --> 00:46:27,517
If you...

920
00:46:28,419 --> 00:46:29,986
Let's go.

921
00:46:30,989 --> 00:46:31,954
It's nice meeting you.

922
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,122
You too.

923
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:36,359
(mouthing) Oh My God!

924
00:46:37,829 --> 00:46:39,262
So, what's the
deal with Diane?

925
00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:40,230
I know.

926
00:46:40,231 --> 00:46:41,197
I'm sorry you got
stuck with her.

927
00:46:41,199 --> 00:46:43,399
She is a psycho.

928
00:46:43,401 --> 00:46:47,203
I felt like a piece of meat for
her to chew on and spit out.

929
00:46:47,205 --> 00:46:48,938
How awesome is that?

930
00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:50,306
Wait.

931
00:46:50,308 --> 00:46:51,174
What?

932
00:46:51,176 --> 00:46:52,208
"Muy Caliente"

933
00:46:52,210 --> 00:46:53,109
Diane?

934
00:46:53,111 --> 00:46:55,011
As in, you and Diane?

935
00:46:55,013 --> 00:46:56,045
No, No, No.

936
00:46:56,047 --> 00:46:57,680
That is a bad idea.

937
00:46:57,681 --> 00:46:59,314
The two of you
could not be more...

938
00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:00,917
different.

939
00:47:00,918 --> 00:47:02,518
Friction is what makes
the heat, my friend.

940
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,053
Besides, I'm packing...

941
00:47:04,055 --> 00:47:06,389
and I carry a gun.

942
00:47:06,391 --> 00:47:10,326
Let's leave the bad
sexual puns to me.

943
00:47:10,328 --> 00:47:13,963
So, what happened with Myles?

944
00:47:13,965 --> 00:47:17,366
He went home with
some guy last night.

945
00:47:17,368 --> 00:47:18,467
That's great.

946
00:47:18,469 --> 00:47:20,002
Your plan worked.

947
00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:21,003
Yeah.

948
00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:22,438
I guess it did, right?

949
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,173
You should be happy;
you're off the hook.

950
00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:26,375
Beers on me. You
pick the place.

951
00:47:26,377 --> 00:47:27,610
Deal.

952
00:47:32,050 --> 00:47:33,950
*

953
00:47:33,952 --> 00:47:35,885
He clearly doesn't
know I carry a gun.

954
00:47:39,224 --> 00:47:42,091
Great. Now he's going to
like me that much more!

955
00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:44,160
I have gone to plenty of
titty bars with you.

956
00:47:44,162 --> 00:47:45,561
You can get your
gogo on with me.

957
00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:47,930
In that case, I need
another drink.

958
00:47:47,932 --> 00:47:51,200
Here, oh...

959
00:48:00,144 --> 00:48:01,878
Hey! What the hell?

960
00:48:04,616 --> 00:48:05,915
I'm sorry.

961
00:48:05,917 --> 00:48:08,985
You just caught
me off guard.

962
00:48:08,987 --> 00:48:11,454
I was going to warn
you about that.

963
00:48:11,456 --> 00:48:13,006
No you weren't.

964
00:48:13,007 --> 00:48:14,557
They're called mouth
shots for a reason.

965
00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:16,192
What the hell other kind
of shots are there?

966
00:48:16,194 --> 00:48:19,161
Don't answer that.

967
00:48:19,163 --> 00:48:20,563
Alright, I gotta run.

968
00:48:20,565 --> 00:48:23,349
Where are you going?

969
00:48:23,350 --> 00:48:26,134
I told Diane I'd meet up with
her after she got off work.

970
00:48:26,137 --> 00:48:27,970
Don't forget your handcuffs.

971
00:48:31,109 --> 00:48:34,977
*

972
00:48:34,979 --> 00:48:41,017
(PHONE BUZZING)

973
00:49:00,972 --> 00:49:06,275
Someone's having WWF Smackdown,
screaming until your neighbors
bang on the wall-style sex.

974
00:49:06,277 --> 00:49:08,110
It shows?

975
00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:10,713
I'm talking about myself
and my spicy Latino lover.

976
00:49:10,715 --> 00:49:12,615
You and Richard?

977
00:49:12,617 --> 00:49:15,418
It's kind of like a spin class-

978
00:49:15,419 --> 00:49:18,220
hot and sweaty, but with
handcuffs, a nightstick
and... pepper spray.

979
00:49:18,222 --> 00:49:21,290
Ok, pepper spray is too much.

980
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:24,660
How are you and Hunter doing?

981
00:49:24,661 --> 00:49:28,029
Judging by the recent playlist
of eighties love songs, I'd
say it's going pretty well.

982
00:49:28,032 --> 00:49:31,000
Awww.

983
00:49:31,001 --> 00:49:33,969
You really are an Easy Bake
Oven away from being a twelve
year old girl, aren't you?

984
00:49:33,972 --> 00:49:35,671
Bye love.

985
00:49:47,752 --> 00:49:49,151
You ok partner?

986
00:49:49,153 --> 00:49:50,686
I took the new recruits
out last night,

987
00:49:50,688 --> 00:49:51,754
to O'Malley's.

988
00:49:51,756 --> 00:49:53,522
I don't know which is worse.

989
00:49:53,524 --> 00:49:55,658
The gay bars or the Irish ones.

990
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:58,494
I guess it depends on
what you're looking for at the
end of the rainbow.

991
00:49:58,496 --> 00:50:01,297
At this point I would settle
for a well hung Leprechaun.

992
00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:03,299
That's why I'm glad
I'm dating again.

993
00:50:03,301 --> 00:50:04,633
I'm in bed by 10 pm.

994
00:50:04,635 --> 00:50:07,269
If I'm ever in bed by ten,

995
00:50:07,271 --> 00:50:09,005
put a bullet in me.

996
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,740
I'm telling you, these past
two weeks have been great

997
00:50:10,742 --> 00:50:13,309
and the sex with
Diane is amazing.

998
00:50:13,311 --> 00:50:15,378
Which reminds me, I need
some more pepper spray.

999
00:50:15,380 --> 00:50:20,750
I'm not going to ask,
besides, the image of Diane
having sex is not something

1000
00:50:20,752 --> 00:50:22,118
I want stuck in
my head all day.

1001
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:22,718
Really?

1002
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,154
Because I do.

1003
00:50:25,156 --> 00:50:27,723
Speaking of which, it's
been two weeks for Myles
and his boyfriend.

1004
00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:31,127
I know because I'm
patiently waiting for him
to get dumped again.

1005
00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:34,163
That's the kind of
postive, healthy support
a best friend deserves.

1006
00:50:34,165 --> 00:50:39,168
Hey, I'm just waiting in the
wings like I always do for when
he gets his heart broken again.

1007
00:50:39,170 --> 00:50:40,036
Face it.

1008
00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:41,670
You miss him.

1009
00:50:41,672 --> 00:50:44,407
You don't know what
you're talking about.

1010
00:50:44,409 --> 00:50:46,375
If you say so,
but I do know this:

1011
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:48,444
if he were my friend
and I missed him,

1012
00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:49,712
I'd grab a couple of beers,

1013
00:50:49,714 --> 00:50:51,247
get some Chinese food

1014
00:50:51,249 --> 00:50:53,149
and go over to his
place after work.

1015
00:50:53,151 --> 00:50:57,720
Well, you're not me and I
don't need your advice.

1016
00:51:03,461 --> 00:51:05,094
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1017
00:51:05,096 --> 00:51:07,563
Come in.

1018
00:51:07,565 --> 00:51:08,597
Oh hey.

1019
00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:10,833
Brody.

1020
00:51:10,834 --> 00:51:13,068
I thought it would be nice if
I surprised you with dinner.

1021
00:51:13,071 --> 00:51:15,237
That's actually a
really nice surprise,

1022
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,924
but I already have plans.

1023
00:51:18,925 --> 00:51:22,610
I can see you have plans.
Are you having Liberace over
for dinner? What is this?

1024
00:51:22,613 --> 00:51:25,681
It's Hunter's first time
coming over tonight.

1025
00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:29,351
I wanted to do
something special.

1026
00:51:29,353 --> 00:51:33,122
Well, we can do
something another night.

1027
00:51:33,124 --> 00:51:35,524
You know you don't have to go.

1028
00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:37,193
You could join us if you want.

1029
00:51:37,195 --> 00:51:38,795
Don't be ridiculous.

1030
00:51:38,796 --> 00:51:40,396
You know I don't do threesomes.

1031
00:51:40,398 --> 00:51:41,764
Since when?

1032
00:51:45,837 --> 00:51:47,436
It's too much, isn't it.

1033
00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:49,538
What?

1034
00:51:49,539 --> 00:51:51,639
No it's ridiculous
and over-the-top,

1035
00:51:51,642 --> 00:51:55,244
but it's you and that's what
I think is so nice about it.

1036
00:51:55,246 --> 00:52:01,250
Other guys may find it
terrifying, but I
think it's wonderful.

1037
00:52:01,252 --> 00:52:02,585
You like that about me?

1038
00:52:02,587 --> 00:52:04,220
What that you're a psycho?

1039
00:52:04,222 --> 00:52:07,623
Yes, it makes me
feel more normal.

1040
00:52:10,261 --> 00:52:14,330
Look finish getting ready and
we'll do something tomorrow.

1041
00:52:14,332 --> 00:52:17,333
Happy hour?

1042
00:52:17,335 --> 00:52:18,400
See you tomorrow.

1043
00:52:18,402 --> 00:52:19,802
Later!

1044
00:52:46,631 --> 00:52:47,696
(PHONE BEEPS)

1045
00:52:53,571 --> 00:52:56,405
Hello Stone.

1046
00:52:56,407 --> 00:52:58,374
I'll see you in five minutes.

1047
00:53:27,772 --> 00:53:28,904
Hey Brody.

1048
00:53:28,906 --> 00:53:30,673
Stone.

1049
00:53:30,675 --> 00:53:32,541
Come on in, have a drink.

1050
00:53:32,543 --> 00:53:34,243
I can see you've
done this before.

1051
00:53:34,245 --> 00:53:36,445
Maybe once or twice.

1052
00:53:36,447 --> 00:53:38,847
So, how do you want to do this?

1053
00:53:38,849 --> 00:53:39,848
Quickly.

1054
00:53:39,850 --> 00:53:41,517
I have dinner in an hour.

1055
00:53:41,519 --> 00:53:43,452
I'm fine with
being an appetizer.

1056
00:53:45,289 --> 00:53:48,357
Just so you know, you're
going to be late for dessert.

1057
00:53:51,696 --> 00:53:57,700
Fine by me.

1058
00:53:59,637 --> 00:54:03,439
(PHONE BUZZING)

1059
00:54:03,441 --> 00:54:05,024
Ignore it.

1060
00:54:05,025 --> 00:54:06,608
It's probably my date tonight.
He's obsessive compulsive.

1061
00:54:06,611 --> 00:54:07,643
How annoying.

1062
00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:08,744
I know, right?

1063
00:54:12,717 --> 00:54:15,417
I'm sorry, I can't.
Just get it.

1064
00:54:15,419 --> 00:54:17,553
I'll send it to voicemail.

1065
00:54:20,958 --> 00:54:24,994
Oh!! Please tell me your
name is not Hunter.

1066
00:54:24,996 --> 00:54:28,330
No, of course it's not.

1067
00:54:28,332 --> 00:54:29,898
Thank god.

1068
00:54:29,900 --> 00:54:31,333
Hunter's my hook-up name,

1069
00:54:31,335 --> 00:54:32,668
like "Stone".

1070
00:54:32,670 --> 00:54:34,470
Oh, Fuck me!

1071
00:54:34,472 --> 00:54:36,305
Sure, if you want
me to be on top.

1072
00:54:37,541 --> 00:54:40,442
No. As in God-damn it.

1073
00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:41,877
What's the problem?

1074
00:54:41,879 --> 00:54:45,314
Oh Man, I really wanted you to
turn out to be a good guy.

1075
00:54:45,316 --> 00:54:47,049
I am a good guy.

1076
00:54:48,319 --> 00:54:50,719
Well, maybe not marriage
material, but...

1077
00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:53,022
I gotta go.

1078
00:54:55,293 --> 00:54:56,792
Dude, chill out!

1079
00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:58,494
This is not a big deal.

1080
00:54:58,496 --> 00:55:00,746
Actually it is.

1081
00:55:00,747 --> 00:55:02,997
Myles is my best friend and
he's going to freak out

1082
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,601
when he finds out that I
hooked up with his boyfriend.

1083
00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:06,635
Boyfriend?

1084
00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:08,504
We're not boyfriends.

1085
00:55:08,506 --> 00:55:10,339
Myles is a nice guy
and a decent lay,

1086
00:55:10,341 --> 00:55:12,474
but that's about where it ends.

1087
00:55:12,476 --> 00:55:14,543
Don't make me knock you out.

1088
00:55:14,545 --> 00:55:16,578
Hey, you're in my
house, remember?

1089
00:55:16,580 --> 00:55:17,513
Ok, look.

1090
00:55:17,515 --> 00:55:18,681
This is how this is going to go.

1091
00:55:18,683 --> 00:55:21,016
You go have dinner
with Myles and

1092
00:55:21,018 --> 00:55:22,651
you don't say anything
about this.

1093
00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:24,853
This never happened.

1094
00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:26,455
You know what, I really
think you should leave.

1095
00:55:26,457 --> 00:55:27,823
I'm serious, now!

1096
00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:29,809
I'm not done here.

1097
00:55:29,810 --> 00:55:31,794
Yeah you are, and if you don't
leave I'll call the cops.

1098
00:55:31,796 --> 00:55:34,430
I'm a cop.

1099
00:55:34,432 --> 00:55:36,477
Yeah.

1100
00:55:36,478 --> 00:55:38,523
Well if that's the case,

1101
00:55:38,524 --> 00:55:40,569
then I'll just call Myles and
tell him I hooked up with his
best friend...the cop.

1102
00:55:40,571 --> 00:55:43,439
Ok, calm down.

1103
00:55:43,441 --> 00:55:45,107
I'll go, but I need
you to promise

1104
00:55:45,109 --> 00:55:47,543
that you're not going to be
an asshole to Myles, ok?

1105
00:55:47,545 --> 00:55:53,015
Just go have dinner with him,
don't say anything about this.
I am asking you nicely.

1106
00:55:53,017 --> 00:55:54,383
See?

1107
00:55:54,385 --> 00:55:55,818
Now you're being a good boy.

1108
00:55:55,820 --> 00:55:57,786
Just so you know,
I'll do what I want.

1109
00:55:57,788 --> 00:55:58,987
And I'll start with
throwing you out.

1110
00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:00,823
Got it?

1111
00:56:00,825 --> 00:56:01,890
I got it.

1112
00:56:01,892 --> 00:56:03,475
Good.

1113
00:56:03,476 --> 00:56:05,059
I'm glad we're on
the same page again.

1114
00:56:05,062 --> 00:56:06,428
Now leave!

1115
00:56:08,766 --> 00:56:09,832
Asshole.

1116
00:56:09,834 --> 00:56:10,833
Asshole.

1117
00:56:19,977 --> 00:56:21,043
(PHONE BEEPS)

1118
00:56:57,448 --> 00:57:07,556
(PHONE RINGING)

1119
00:57:07,558 --> 00:57:14,029
(PHONE RINGING)

1120
00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:16,165
Hey Myles.

1121
00:57:17,701 --> 00:57:21,637
Hunter broke up with me.

1122
00:57:21,639 --> 00:57:22,604
Awe.

1123
00:57:22,606 --> 00:57:24,006
I'm so sorry, Myles.

1124
00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:29,945
Could you come over?

1125
00:57:29,947 --> 00:57:31,480
Death by chocolate?

1126
00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:38,787
Death by homemade tiramisu.

1127
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:40,122
I'll be right there.

1128
00:57:46,864 --> 00:57:48,797
One day, you are
going to find a guy

1129
00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:51,233
who see's what a
great catch you are.

1130
00:57:51,235 --> 00:57:54,002
You are going to make
someone the best husband.

1131
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:57,973
What about you?

1132
00:57:57,975 --> 00:58:00,108
I am not a catch.

1133
00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:01,076
Well that's not true.

1134
00:58:01,078 --> 00:58:02,811
Yes, it is.

1135
00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:06,081
Look, I'm not like you.

1136
00:58:06,083 --> 00:58:08,250
Anybody who would pass up an

1137
00:58:08,252 --> 00:58:10,919
amazing evening like this,

1138
00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:16,658
with you, is a fool.

1139
00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:19,595
Well, I'm obviously
doing something wrong.

1140
00:58:19,597 --> 00:58:21,196
You have lousy taste in men.

1141
00:58:21,198 --> 00:58:23,549
Take Hunter...

1142
00:58:23,550 --> 00:58:25,901
- Let's not talk about him.
- I think we should...
- I really don't want to.

1143
00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:27,503
Let me finish.

1144
00:58:33,143 --> 00:58:37,646
Anybody who would break up
with you in a text is a creep
and not worth your time.

1145
00:58:37,648 --> 00:58:41,950
You think I don't know that?
I didn't even text him back.

1146
00:58:41,952 --> 00:58:46,288
I'm sick of being
mistreated by asshole guys
who don't appreciate me.

1147
00:58:46,290 --> 00:58:49,658
Good for you Myles.

1148
00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:53,996
Now, can we just move on?

1149
00:58:53,998 --> 00:58:56,131
Let's just enjoy the fact that
we're hanging out together.

1150
00:58:56,133 --> 00:58:58,567
Yes.

1151
00:58:58,568 --> 00:59:01,002
Let's make tonight about this
amazing tiramisu that you made.

1152
00:59:01,005 --> 00:59:03,071
- And us.
- And us.

1153
00:59:12,917 --> 00:59:18,854
So, run this by me one more
time. Why didn't you tell him
what happened the other night?

1154
00:59:18,856 --> 00:59:21,557
I just couldn't.

1155
00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:24,259
If you knew Myles and how upset
it would make him, trust me, you
wouldn't have told him either.

1156
00:59:24,261 --> 00:59:26,862
Actually, yes, I would have.

1157
00:59:26,864 --> 00:59:29,064
Myles can't handle
these things.

1158
00:59:29,066 --> 00:59:31,567
He's a grown man.

1159
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:34,069
Yeah, on the outside maybe but
on the inside he's all...

1160
00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:35,771
Hello Kitty.

1161
00:59:35,773 --> 00:59:37,172
He's never going to find out.

1162
00:59:37,174 --> 00:59:39,691
That's not how it works.

1163
00:59:39,692 --> 00:59:42,209
Trust me, they always find
out. And even if they don't,

1164
00:59:42,212 --> 00:59:44,535
you'll always think in
the back of your head

1165
00:59:44,536 --> 00:59:46,859
that they know something, but
just aren't saying anything.

1166
00:59:46,860 --> 00:59:49,183
Does someone have a little
baggage from a past relationship
they want to talk about?

1167
00:59:49,186 --> 00:59:50,986
Let's just say, I had
to learn the hard way.

1168
00:59:50,988 --> 00:59:55,057
Fine, I'll talk
to him tonight.

1169
00:59:57,061 --> 00:59:58,293
-Ok?
- Alright.

1170
00:59:59,063 --> 01:00:05,133
*

1171
01:00:08,138 --> 01:00:09,671
How you doing?

1172
01:00:09,673 --> 01:00:12,207
I liked him,
he was a great guy.

1173
01:00:12,209 --> 01:00:14,176
He wasn't that great.

1174
01:00:14,178 --> 01:00:17,429
Hi Brody... Martini?

1175
01:00:17,430 --> 01:00:20,681
No thanks, I'm
probably just going to
get it thrown in my face.

1176
01:00:20,684 --> 01:00:23,352
What did you do?

1177
01:00:23,353 --> 01:00:26,021
Can I just start off by saying
that it was not my fault.

1178
01:00:26,023 --> 01:00:29,858
That is the worst way
to start a conversation.
That's like saying,

1179
01:00:29,860 --> 01:00:31,660
"I know this looks bad", or,

1180
01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:33,695
"This is just going to
hurt a little bit."

1181
01:00:33,697 --> 01:00:36,932
I can tell already,
this is not going to end well.

1182
01:00:36,934 --> 01:00:38,968
I've known you
for over ten years.

1183
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,003
Nothing you say is
going to bother me
or surprise me anymore.

1184
01:00:41,005 --> 01:00:43,038
So just tell me.

1185
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:46,775
I ran Hunter's ID
down at the station.

1186
01:00:46,777 --> 01:00:50,312
His real name is Steven
Adams. He's from Nebraska.

1187
01:00:50,314 --> 01:00:52,981
Well, I know where he's
from. I didn't know his
name wasn't Hunter.

1188
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:55,951
Yeah and it's
not Stone either.
That's my point.

1189
01:00:55,953 --> 01:00:57,686
What's the point?
And who is Stone?

1190
01:00:57,688 --> 01:01:00,389
Exactly! Neither of
us knew his real name.

1191
01:01:00,391 --> 01:01:02,157
Just tell me what happened.

1192
01:01:04,395 --> 01:01:06,228
After I left your place
the other night,

1193
01:01:06,230 --> 01:01:10,298
I went on Grindr
to meet someone.

1194
01:01:12,436 --> 01:01:14,970
-You hooked up with Hunter?
-I didn't know it was him!

1195
01:01:14,972 --> 01:01:17,906
He said his name was
Stone. I mean, who uses
that name anyway.

1196
01:01:17,908 --> 01:01:19,908
He texted me on Grindr,
I went over there.

1197
01:01:19,910 --> 01:01:23,845
I did not know what I
was doing was wrong. I
would never do that to you.

1198
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,580
You suck.

1199
01:01:25,581 --> 01:01:27,314
How was I supposed to
know? It's not like you
introduced me to the guy.

1200
01:01:27,317 --> 01:01:29,568
You're the one that
ruined this for me.

1201
01:01:29,569 --> 01:01:31,820
I met a great guy and you just
couldn't stand it, could you?

1202
01:01:31,822 --> 01:01:34,122
He is not a great guy,
believe me.

1203
01:01:34,124 --> 01:01:36,191
Certainly not the Prince
Charming you think he is.

1204
01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:37,859
Trust me, Hunter is a creep.

1205
01:01:37,861 --> 01:01:39,795
Trust you?

1206
01:01:39,797 --> 01:01:45,801
Think about it Myles. It's
always the same with you.
You bring this on yourself.

1207
01:01:45,803 --> 01:01:50,338
You keep thinking that one
guy is going to be exactly
what you need to be happy.

1208
01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:53,408
It is not the case,
never will be.

1209
01:01:56,747 --> 01:02:00,015
Well, sadly that's
true isn't it?

1210
01:02:00,017 --> 01:02:02,050
You're right, things
have got to change.

1211
01:02:02,052 --> 01:02:04,386
I gotta to go, sorry
I can't do this anymore.

1212
01:02:04,388 --> 01:02:08,023
-Wait, what?
-One martini. Dirty.

1213
01:02:10,961 --> 01:02:12,894
Myles.

1214
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:14,463
Myles.

1215
01:02:27,811 --> 01:02:29,411
Look at this guy.

1216
01:02:29,413 --> 01:02:32,214
He didn't even attempt to
slow down when he saw us.

1217
01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:34,350
So light him up!

1218
01:02:34,351 --> 01:02:36,485
-He was only going forty.
-He's speeding right
in front of us.

1219
01:02:36,487 --> 01:02:38,854
People need to learn to respect
authority. Light him up!

1220
01:02:38,856 --> 01:02:42,290
-It's not a big deal.
-I said, let's get them!

1221
01:02:42,292 --> 01:02:44,493
So now you're that asshole
cop who chases down

1222
01:02:44,495 --> 01:02:47,262
an '87 Corolla for going fifteen
miles over the speed limit?

1223
01:02:50,334 --> 01:02:51,633
Yes.

1224
01:02:51,634 --> 01:02:52,933
You really need to straighten
this thing out with Myles.

1225
01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:55,303
I've tried calling,
texting, emailing him.

1226
01:02:55,305 --> 01:02:58,273
He obviously doesn't
want to talk to me.

1227
01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:00,809
I may not be the
smartest guy in the world
but I can take a hint...

1228
01:03:00,811 --> 01:03:02,377
...when someone doesn't
want to see me.

1229
01:03:02,378 --> 01:03:03,944
You have to go over
there and work this out.

1230
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:05,947
Knock his door down
if you have to.

1231
01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:09,451
-He doesn't want to talk to me.
-You're a cop for Christ's sake.

1232
01:03:09,453 --> 01:03:12,154
Pull your balls out
of your ass and man up.

1233
01:03:12,156 --> 01:03:15,090
You miss him. Make it right.

1234
01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:17,993
Fine.

1235
01:03:26,503 --> 01:03:29,304
Myles, open up.

1236
01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:30,438
Myles, come on, open up.

1237
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:33,175
I need you to open
up, just talk to me.

1238
01:03:33,177 --> 01:03:36,244
Knock one more time
and I'm calling the cops.

1239
01:03:41,819 --> 01:03:43,885
Officer.

1240
01:03:43,887 --> 01:03:46,555
Under-cover, huh?
A sting operation.

1241
01:03:46,557 --> 01:03:48,056
I get it.

1242
01:03:48,058 --> 01:03:49,591
Still after Myles?

1243
01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:50,559
Have you seen him?

1244
01:03:50,561 --> 01:03:53,361
Nope. What did he do?

1245
01:03:53,363 --> 01:03:55,130
He didn't do anything.

1246
01:03:55,132 --> 01:04:00,068
It's always the quiet ones.
I knew he was a bad seed.

1247
01:04:00,070 --> 01:04:02,537
That isn't the case, sir.

1248
01:04:02,539 --> 01:04:04,506
Of course you
can't say anything.

1249
01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:07,275
I know what's going on.

1250
01:04:07,277 --> 01:04:10,345
I just hope you get
the son-of-a bitch!

1251
01:04:19,857 --> 01:04:21,623
Myles.

1252
01:04:21,625 --> 01:04:23,558
Come on.

1253
01:04:25,929 --> 01:04:26,995
Myles.

1254
01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:31,600
*

1255
01:04:31,602 --> 01:04:33,635
Pizza, wings and beer.

1256
01:04:33,637 --> 01:04:35,403
Who needs men?

1257
01:04:38,609 --> 01:04:41,376
We'll have more
fun without them.

1258
01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:45,347
-No we won't.
-You're right.

1259
01:04:45,349 --> 01:04:47,515
I'll try not to bitch about
how much men suck tonight.

1260
01:04:47,517 --> 01:04:51,052
Why? It's my favorite subject.

1261
01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:53,255
Luckily for you I have
the perfect evening planned.

1262
01:04:53,257 --> 01:04:58,226
Comfort food, ice cream and...

1263
01:04:58,228 --> 01:05:00,161
a romantic movie.

1264
01:05:00,163 --> 01:05:02,097
I love that we are doing this.

1265
01:05:02,099 --> 01:05:04,466
-I do it every day.
-What about Richard?

1266
01:05:04,468 --> 01:05:06,601
Are you kidding?
It's his favorite thing.

1267
01:05:06,603 --> 01:05:10,605
Two bowls of pistachio
froyo, twin snuggies
and a romantic movie.

1268
01:05:10,607 --> 01:05:12,607
We cry all night long.

1269
01:05:12,609 --> 01:05:15,677
-Lucky bitch.
-I know.

1270
01:05:18,181 --> 01:05:22,217
Diane, I need to
tell you something.
Please don't be upset.

1271
01:05:22,219 --> 01:05:27,022
Any conversation
that begins with, "please
don't be upset", upsets me.

1272
01:05:27,024 --> 01:05:31,526
I need to start fresh. Get
somewhere far away from here.

1273
01:05:31,528 --> 01:05:33,328
You're moving to the Valley?

1274
01:05:33,330 --> 01:05:36,364
No, I'm thinking of transferring
to the New York office.

1275
01:05:36,366 --> 01:05:40,669
There's a job opening
there for a senior litigator
that starts next week.

1276
01:05:40,671 --> 01:05:42,437
I know you're not
going to agree with this...

1277
01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:47,042
You want to leave
and move to New York?

1278
01:05:47,044 --> 01:05:49,311
We both know I should go.

1279
01:05:49,313 --> 01:05:52,280
Actually, we don't. I
think you're running
away from your problems.

1280
01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:54,382
Please don't make
this any harder for
me than it already is.

1281
01:05:54,384 --> 01:05:55,617
I really need to do this.

1282
01:05:55,619 --> 01:05:58,804
No you don't!

1283
01:05:58,805 --> 01:06:01,990
It's an irrational,
impetuous and totally
emotionally clouded decision.

1284
01:06:01,992 --> 01:06:06,061
I need to break this cycle and
I can't do it from Los Angeles.

1285
01:06:09,433 --> 01:06:12,467
Fine. I'll concede.

1286
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:17,305
-But only under one condition.
-Let the negotiations begin.

1287
01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:19,975
You have to let me
have a going away
party for you this weekend.

1288
01:06:19,977 --> 01:06:21,476
Absolutely not. No party.

1289
01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:23,345
Just a few friends over
for drinks at my place?

1290
01:06:23,347 --> 01:06:26,414
-No more than six.
-Deal.

1291
01:06:32,723 --> 01:06:36,658
So how are you going to tell
Brody that you're moving to
the other side of the country?

1292
01:06:41,598 --> 01:06:44,532
I don't know yet.

1293
01:06:46,403 --> 01:06:48,470
I could have Richard do it.

1294
01:06:55,545 --> 01:06:57,612
Brody.

1295
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:05,186
And to think he's a cop.

1296
01:07:12,796 --> 01:07:19,067
(TELEVISION SOUNDS)

1297
01:07:26,543 --> 01:07:30,478
If you were a horse,
I'd be obliged to put you down.

1298
01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:34,783
What time is it? Am I late?

1299
01:07:34,785 --> 01:07:36,684
Let's just say you're
early for lunch.

1300
01:07:36,686 --> 01:07:38,753
Why don't you get in the shower?

1301
01:07:40,157 --> 01:07:43,091
So, how long is this
going to go on?

1302
01:07:43,093 --> 01:07:46,528
Just give me five minutes
to take a shower, ok?

1303
01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:48,496
Not the shower.
The self-pity and depression.

1304
01:07:48,498 --> 01:07:50,765
It's been every night this week.

1305
01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:53,301
Hey, I've finally found
something I'm good at.

1306
01:07:53,303 --> 01:07:56,571
Why quit when I've
almost mastered it?

1307
01:07:56,573 --> 01:08:00,141
Well, since you're already down,
I've got something else for you.

1308
01:08:00,143 --> 01:08:02,377
It's an invitation.

1309
01:08:02,379 --> 01:08:03,778
From who?

1310
01:08:03,780 --> 01:08:05,213
Diane.

1311
01:08:05,215 --> 01:08:09,551
She's having a few people over.

1312
01:08:09,553 --> 01:08:11,252
Is Myles going to be there?

1313
01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:14,222
Yep.

1314
01:08:14,223 --> 01:08:17,191
This is the perfect
opportunity for me to
smooth things out with Myles.

1315
01:08:17,194 --> 01:08:20,695
In theory.

1316
01:08:20,697 --> 01:08:22,564
Was this Diane's idea?

1317
01:08:22,566 --> 01:08:26,734
Absolutely. So you'll come?

1318
01:08:26,736 --> 01:08:30,505
Hell yeah. Now I got
something to look forward to.

1319
01:08:33,577 --> 01:08:36,644
Me too.

1320
01:08:41,451 --> 01:08:46,354
*

1321
01:08:46,356 --> 01:08:48,490
I kept it small
like you wanted.

1322
01:08:48,492 --> 01:08:50,358
I asked you not to do anything.

1323
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:53,128
This was my compromise.

1324
01:08:53,130 --> 01:08:55,714
I'll miss you.

1325
01:08:55,715 --> 01:08:58,299
I'm well aware. I still can't
believe you're doing this.

1326
01:08:58,301 --> 01:09:01,736
Five days on the open
road will do me good.

1327
01:09:01,738 --> 01:09:03,722
Wait until you hit Nevada.

1328
01:09:03,723 --> 01:09:05,707
You're going to regret
that decision all the way
to the Statue of Liberty.

1329
01:09:05,709 --> 01:09:07,092
Brody's here.

1330
01:09:07,093 --> 01:09:08,476
I'll be in the bomb shelter
if anyone's needs me.

1331
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:10,362
Oh no, you're not
going anywhere.

1332
01:09:10,363 --> 01:09:12,247
We need someone who
can operate a handgun.

1333
01:09:12,249 --> 01:09:14,215
Hey!

1334
01:09:14,217 --> 01:09:16,618
Thank you so much
for inviting me.

1335
01:09:16,620 --> 01:09:19,171
It's good to see you.

1336
01:09:19,172 --> 01:09:21,723
So, what's the occasion?
You got a promotion, right?

1337
01:09:26,229 --> 01:09:28,329
Richard, will you help me dear?

1338
01:09:28,331 --> 01:09:30,431
Oh, and bring a shovel.

1339
01:09:30,433 --> 01:09:33,985
Would you excuse us?

1340
01:09:33,986 --> 01:09:37,538
He's going to be really
busy digging a six by
three foot hole out back.

1341
01:09:37,541 --> 01:09:39,908
What was that about?

1342
01:09:39,910 --> 01:09:42,877
It's just that this
isn't exactly a party
for my promotion.

1343
01:09:42,879 --> 01:09:45,380
So, you didn't get a promotion?

1344
01:09:45,382 --> 01:09:47,916
I technically did,
I guess you could say that.

1345
01:09:47,918 --> 01:09:50,351
Well, congrats!

1346
01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:53,288
It's also a going away party.

1347
01:09:53,290 --> 01:09:54,856
For who?

1348
01:09:59,262 --> 01:10:02,330
Oh, you're leaving.

1349
01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:06,434
Where?  When?

1350
01:10:07,771 --> 01:10:10,371
I head out on Saturday morning.

1351
01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:13,408
Drive across country
to New York.

1352
01:10:13,410 --> 01:10:18,513
Saturday to New York
and this is how you tell me?

1353
01:10:18,515 --> 01:10:23,418
-Well Richard was
going to tell you.
-You asked Richard to tell me?

1354
01:10:23,420 --> 01:10:25,486
Diane did.

1355
01:10:28,525 --> 01:10:32,627
How could you leave
and not say anything to me?

1356
01:10:32,629 --> 01:10:33,795
I haven't left yet.

1357
01:10:33,797 --> 01:10:37,498
Yeah, but you're
planning on it Myles.

1358
01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:39,651
Why?

1359
01:10:39,652 --> 01:10:41,803
Because I don't have
a reason to stay anymore.

1360
01:10:41,805 --> 01:10:46,274
I'm not a good enough reason?

1361
01:10:46,276 --> 01:10:48,643
You tell me, Brody.

1362
01:10:48,645 --> 01:10:50,745
If this is about
the Hunter thing,

1363
01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:52,846
I told you I did not
mean to mess it up for you.

1364
01:10:52,849 --> 01:10:55,416
I was just trying
to protect you.

1365
01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,719
I know that and I'm not
mad about it anymore.

1366
01:10:57,721 --> 01:11:01,006
I'm the reason I need to leave.

1367
01:11:01,007 --> 01:11:04,292
I need to grow up and
stop looking for my Prince
Charming to come and save me.

1368
01:11:04,294 --> 01:11:06,861
That is what I've been
telling you the whole time.

1369
01:11:06,863 --> 01:11:08,930
Well then, I agree with you.

1370
01:11:12,369 --> 01:11:17,672
So you think that going to
New York is what's going
to make you happy.

1371
01:11:17,674 --> 01:11:20,008
It's a start.

1372
01:11:20,010 --> 01:11:25,446
Well then, I guess that's that.

1373
01:11:25,448 --> 01:11:27,515
I guess so.

1374
01:11:44,768 --> 01:11:50,805
*

1375
01:11:54,978 --> 01:11:56,577
(PHONE BEEPS)

1376
01:12:32,782 --> 01:12:36,851
-Can I get you another?
-No. I'm good, thanks.

1377
01:12:46,596 --> 01:12:50,498
I'm mad at you.

1378
01:12:50,499 --> 01:12:54,401
I know, but being
that I'm your only friend
now and your partner at work,

1379
01:12:54,404 --> 01:12:57,138
I think you're going to have
to get over it pretty quickly.

1380
01:12:59,642 --> 01:13:03,511
You knew that was
a going away party.

1381
01:13:03,513 --> 01:13:08,549
I'm sorry I didn't tell you,
but I figured you deserved
to hear it directly from Myles.

1382
01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:11,786
Plus, if I had told you,
you wouldn't have come
to say goodbye.

1383
01:13:11,788 --> 01:13:13,688
You don't know me.

1384
01:13:13,690 --> 01:13:15,757
It's like we never even met.

1385
01:13:17,394 --> 01:13:18,626
You know, he's right?

1386
01:13:18,628 --> 01:13:22,530
It is better for both
of us if he just leaves.

1387
01:13:22,532 --> 01:13:24,932
Well, you certainly
know what's best.

1388
01:13:24,934 --> 01:13:27,835
I'm not like Myles,
I don't need anyone.

1389
01:13:27,837 --> 01:13:31,939
It's true. You're not miserable
at all when he's gone.

1390
01:13:31,941 --> 01:13:33,875
Myles is a hopeless romantic.

1391
01:13:33,877 --> 01:13:36,577
All he wants is
someone to love him.

1392
01:13:36,579 --> 01:13:39,614
Yeah, so unreasonable.

1393
01:13:39,616 --> 01:13:43,651
Plus, he's a people
pleaser. All he cares
about is the guy he's with.

1394
01:13:43,653 --> 01:13:45,920
That's horrible. I can see
why guys would hate that.

1395
01:13:45,922 --> 01:13:51,659
Myles is like a penguin.
He will bond to you, he's
dependable and trustworthy.

1396
01:13:51,661 --> 01:13:54,962
I'm really starting
to hate that guy.

1397
01:13:54,964 --> 01:13:58,433
I mean, could you imagine
if Myles and I were together.

1398
01:13:58,435 --> 01:14:03,037
Not at all. It's crazy
to think that two people
who care about each other

1399
01:14:03,039 --> 01:14:08,910
as much as you two do
would ever, ever want
to be in a relationship.

1400
01:14:08,912 --> 01:14:12,980
I know, right? I mean,
if Myles were the
perfect guy for me,

1401
01:14:12,982 --> 01:14:15,450
I would have realized
that years ago.

1402
01:14:15,452 --> 01:14:18,336
Absolutely.

1403
01:14:18,337 --> 01:14:21,221
I mean there is no way
you'd overlook something
so obvious for so long.

1404
01:14:21,224 --> 01:14:23,791
Exactly.

1405
01:14:23,793 --> 01:14:26,093
Myles just wants to be married.

1406
01:14:26,095 --> 01:14:32,166
And all I want is for
him to be happy.

1407
01:14:34,571 --> 01:14:39,507
Then I guess the only
way for that to happen
is to remove you from his life.

1408
01:14:42,712 --> 01:14:45,780
Yeah, I guess.

1409
01:14:51,554 --> 01:14:57,625
*

1410
01:15:55,985 --> 01:15:57,585
To Brody.

1411
01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:01,856
I hope you find
someone to love you.

1412
01:16:01,858 --> 01:16:04,926
I hope you find
someone to love.

1413
01:16:22,612 --> 01:16:27,048
Dearly beloved, we
are gathered here
today to bear witness

1414
01:16:27,050 --> 01:16:30,117
to the matrimony
of these two men.

1415
01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:37,925
This is a relationship that
stands for love and loyalty.

1416
01:16:37,927 --> 01:16:42,597
This is a relationship that
stands for honesty and trust.

1417
01:16:42,599 --> 01:16:48,669
But most importantly,
this is a relationship
that stands for friendship.

1418
01:16:48,671 --> 01:16:54,909
Because before they were
lovers, they were friends,

1419
01:16:54,911 --> 01:16:59,947
and it is this seed of
friendship that love
was their destiny.

1420
01:16:59,949 --> 01:17:04,118
One cannot dictate or
determine the course of love.

1421
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:10,191
For if love finds you worthy,
then love directs you.

1422
01:17:11,928 --> 01:17:18,933
It is this sacred
and holy estate which
you enter into as one.

1423
01:17:18,935 --> 01:17:25,072
And if there is anyone who
has just cause why these
two should not join as one,

1424
01:17:25,074 --> 01:17:30,144
let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.

1425
01:17:45,995 --> 01:17:51,198
Do you take this man to love,
honor and comfort,

1426
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:54,035
and keep in sickness
and in health,

1427
01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:56,804
in sadness and in joy,

1428
01:17:56,806 --> 01:18:01,375
and cherish and bestow upon
him your deepest devotion,

1429
01:18:01,377 --> 01:18:04,445
for as long as you
both shall live?

1430
01:18:04,447 --> 01:18:06,213
I do.

1431
01:18:09,285 --> 01:18:14,088
Then, by the power
vested in me,

1432
01:18:14,090 --> 01:18:16,424
I now pronounce you

1433
01:18:16,426 --> 01:18:20,394
husband and husband.

1434
01:18:20,396 --> 01:18:23,998
You may now kiss your groom.

1435
01:18:36,946 --> 01:18:43,017
*

1436
01:19:12,381 --> 01:19:14,448
Come on! Are you kidding me?

1437
01:19:22,091 --> 01:19:25,526
Oh... I can't.

1438
01:19:25,528 --> 01:19:28,796
Come on, Come on, Come on!

1439
01:20:12,308 --> 01:20:14,341
Myles, are you in there?

1440
01:20:14,343 --> 01:20:16,811
Myles, are you in there?

1441
01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:18,245
Myles!

1442
01:20:18,247 --> 01:20:20,981
-Myles!
-What are you
god-damned kids up to now?

1443
01:20:20,983 --> 01:20:24,485
-I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.
-I'm sorry officer, I
didn't realize it was you.

1444
01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:26,520
Still haven't caught him yet?

1445
01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:28,522
Have you seen him today?

1446
01:20:28,523 --> 01:20:30,523
Saw him this morning. He
woke me up making a ruckus.

1447
01:20:30,526 --> 01:20:33,260
I went back to sleep.
Which I never do by the way.

1448
01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:36,063
Damn Sciatica kept
me up all night.

1449
01:20:36,065 --> 01:20:38,566
I got one of these
dial mattresses.

1450
01:20:38,568 --> 01:20:42,203
I changed it from a four to a
six, I thought that might help.

1451
01:20:42,205 --> 01:20:44,305
I slept better on my old Sealy.

1452
01:20:44,307 --> 01:20:47,909
You think they'd let me
take this one back?

1453
01:20:47,910 --> 01:20:51,512
-It's only been six weeks.
-I really have to get to Myles,
so if you know where he is.

1454
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:55,149
Gone now. I guess
you missed him.

1455
01:20:55,151 --> 01:20:57,218
Yeah. I guess I did.

1456
01:20:57,220 --> 01:21:00,020
You're gonna go
after him, aren't you?

1457
01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:02,623
He's not a criminal.

1458
01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:08,896
I know that. I'm not blind and
stupid. You obviously love him.

1459
01:21:08,898 --> 01:21:11,866
I do.

1460
01:21:11,868 --> 01:21:15,002
Then go after him!

1461
01:21:15,004 --> 01:21:20,441
Don't make the same mistake
I did and end up like me.
Trust me.

1462
01:21:20,443 --> 01:21:23,143
Don't just stand
there, go get him!

1463
01:21:23,145 --> 01:21:25,179
He's going to New York.

1464
01:21:25,181 --> 01:21:27,581
I don't know where he is. I'm
not going to catch up to him.

1465
01:21:27,583 --> 01:21:31,886
You've got a cop car don't
you? Light up that son-of-a
bitch. I've seen them go

1466
01:21:31,888 --> 01:21:38,292
two-hundred miles an hour.
Tear ass down that freeway!
Don't let him get away.

1467
01:21:38,294 --> 01:21:42,363
Ok. Ok.

1468
01:21:43,499 --> 01:21:46,567
Crazy kids.

1469
01:21:54,377 --> 01:21:57,378
(POLICE SIREN)

1470
01:21:57,380 --> 01:21:59,446
I'm sorry for getting you out
of bed so early for this.

1471
01:21:59,448 --> 01:22:02,216
Who needs sleep on
a Saturday morning?

1472
01:22:02,218 --> 01:22:04,318
Besides, this is fun.

1473
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:06,253
It's just like those movies
Diane makes me watch.

1474
01:22:06,255 --> 01:22:08,289
I have to catch up to Myles
before it's too late.

1475
01:22:08,291 --> 01:22:10,224
Do me a favor, call him
and see where he is.

1476
01:22:10,226 --> 01:22:13,260
No way! That is not
how's its done.

1477
01:22:13,262 --> 01:22:15,062
Myles is a romantic.

1478
01:22:15,064 --> 01:22:16,614
We have to catch up with him.

1479
01:22:16,615 --> 01:22:18,165
It's the element of surprise
that will win him back.

1480
01:22:18,167 --> 01:22:19,967
Yeah, and what if we don't
make it there in time?

1481
01:22:19,969 --> 01:22:22,136
Trust me on this one.
I know how it's done.

1482
01:22:22,138 --> 01:22:24,538
You always get the
guy in the end.

1483
01:22:28,311 --> 01:22:32,346
Calling doesn't seem like such
a bad idea now, does it?

1484
01:22:32,348 --> 01:22:34,949
It always works in the movies.

1485
01:22:38,154 --> 01:22:40,354
So what now?

1486
01:22:40,356 --> 01:22:42,256
I don't know.

1487
01:22:42,258 --> 01:22:45,192
It usually doesn't
turn out this way.

1488
01:22:46,662 --> 01:22:49,263
I'm too late, aren't I?

1489
01:22:52,468 --> 01:22:54,435
Might as well head back.

1490
01:22:54,437 --> 01:22:58,439
I know you have
plans with Diane.

1491
01:22:58,441 --> 01:23:00,240
Let me call her and let her
know I'll be a little late.

1492
01:23:00,242 --> 01:23:02,176
I'll be in the car.

1493
01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:15,589
(PHONE BUZZING)

1494
01:23:15,591 --> 01:23:17,591
This better not be an, "I
can't make it today" call.

1495
01:23:17,593 --> 01:23:19,526
No, no, I'll be there.

1496
01:23:19,528 --> 01:23:22,463
Small emergency.
I'll just be a little late.

1497
01:23:22,465 --> 01:23:25,232
Well hurry, so you can
start making it up to me.

1498
01:23:25,234 --> 01:23:27,234
And don't forget your uniform -

1499
01:23:27,236 --> 01:23:29,069
especially the night stick.

1500
01:23:29,071 --> 01:23:30,137
Bye.

1501
01:23:38,681 --> 01:23:41,115
Richard's going to
be a little bit late.

1502
01:23:41,117 --> 01:23:43,384
Keep me company for
just a bit more?

1503
01:23:43,386 --> 01:23:46,587
I've got three thousand miles
ahead of me and now all I'm
going to be able to think about

1504
01:23:46,589 --> 01:23:48,389
is you and Richard playing
"cops and robbers".

1505
01:23:48,391 --> 01:23:51,158
You should see me
trying to resist arrest.

1506
01:23:51,160 --> 01:23:52,626
I really need to go.

1507
01:23:52,628 --> 01:23:55,396
I just wanted to help you
clean up and say goodbye.

1508
01:23:55,398 --> 01:23:57,765
Let's have a
mimosa for the road.

1509
01:23:57,767 --> 01:24:01,668
No one should drive into the
middle of this country without
at least one drink in them.

1510
01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:04,738
-You're awful.
-I know.

1511
01:24:16,052 --> 01:24:18,685
Are you sure you don't
want to join us for brunch?

1512
01:24:18,687 --> 01:24:22,056
You know a gay guy is tired
when he turns down brunch.

1513
01:24:22,058 --> 01:24:25,826
I had a bad night
and a crappy morning.

1514
01:24:25,828 --> 01:24:27,812
Bottomless drinks.

1515
01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:29,797
I have a feeling you'll get
your money's worth today.

1516
01:24:29,799 --> 01:24:33,200
I really don't feel like
being around people.

1517
01:24:33,202 --> 01:24:36,270
Especially those in love.

1518
01:24:38,307 --> 01:24:40,274
Where the hell have
you two been?

1519
01:24:40,276 --> 01:24:42,276
And you brought the squad car.

1520
01:24:42,278 --> 01:24:44,344
Nice touch.

1521
01:24:46,282 --> 01:24:48,482
We drove to Nevada
this morning.

1522
01:24:48,484 --> 01:24:49,650
We're trying to catch
up with Myles.

1523
01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:51,318
Nevada?

1524
01:24:51,320 --> 01:24:53,420
Why are you trying
to catch up with Myles?

1525
01:24:53,421 --> 01:24:55,521
Brody wants to talk to him.
He doesn't want him to leave.

1526
01:24:55,524 --> 01:24:56,857
Well, you just missed him.

1527
01:24:56,859 --> 01:24:59,226
Obviously.

1528
01:24:59,228 --> 01:25:03,197
You and your detective
skills. I mean he was just
here, he left a minute ago.

1529
01:25:03,199 --> 01:25:05,265
Hey, we can still catch him!

1530
01:25:06,435 --> 01:25:08,669
You can't call him.
That's not the way it works.

1531
01:25:08,671 --> 01:25:11,738
I know. I've been
trying to tell him that.

1532
01:25:12,808 --> 01:25:15,876
(PHONE BUZZING)

1533
01:25:16,345 --> 01:25:20,814
*

1534
01:25:20,816 --> 01:25:22,883
I just can't.

1535
01:25:24,787 --> 01:25:26,854
Straight to voicemail.

1536
01:25:35,698 --> 01:25:40,434
*

1537
01:25:40,436 --> 01:25:42,569
He's right there.

1538
01:25:48,911 --> 01:25:52,179
Go! Go!

1539
01:25:55,484 --> 01:25:56,884
Are you crazy?!

1540
01:25:56,886 --> 01:25:57,851
Move!

1541
01:25:57,853 --> 01:25:58,719
Are you kidding me?!

1542
01:25:58,721 --> 01:25:59,686
Stop!

1543
01:25:59,688 --> 01:26:02,422
Get out of my way.

1544
01:26:02,424 --> 01:26:04,291
-I need to leave.
-Myles.

1545
01:26:04,293 --> 01:26:07,461
No, let me go. Move!

1546
01:26:12,168 --> 01:26:15,235
Why are you all
doing this to me?

1547
01:26:16,939 --> 01:26:20,207
There's nothing you can
do to make me stay.

1548
01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:31,351
Was that supposed
to change my mind?

1549
01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:32,452
That was the idea.

1550
01:26:32,454 --> 01:26:34,788
It didn't.

1551
01:26:34,790 --> 01:26:37,724
I can't do this
with you anymore.

1552
01:26:40,229 --> 01:26:45,499
I've got to do what's
right for me now, and
that's getting away from you.

1553
01:26:45,501 --> 01:26:49,203
You may not need someone,
but you deserve someone.

1554
01:26:49,205 --> 01:26:50,938
And I want to be that person.

1555
01:26:50,940 --> 01:26:52,839
You're not capable of
having a relationship.

1556
01:26:52,841 --> 01:26:55,542
What have we been
doing the last ten years?

1557
01:26:55,544 --> 01:26:59,646
I may not be the Prince
Charming that you imagine but,

1558
01:26:59,648 --> 01:27:02,716
you know I would slay
a dragon for you.

1559
01:27:03,252 --> 01:27:05,519
It's not enough, Brody.

1560
01:27:05,521 --> 01:27:07,454
What else is there?

1561
01:27:08,791 --> 01:27:13,660
Trust, love,
companionship, respect.

1562
01:27:13,662 --> 01:27:16,730
We don't have all those things?

1563
01:27:22,638 --> 01:27:24,972
Well then, I'll guess I'll have
to make this easy for you.

1564
01:27:24,974 --> 01:27:26,440
Cause you don't have a choice.

1565
01:27:26,442 --> 01:27:29,576
I'm sorry, what?

1566
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:31,695
I'm glad you're here
because I need a lawyer.

1567
01:27:31,696 --> 01:27:33,813
Would you please tell me if
this is still legally binding?

1568
01:27:33,816 --> 01:27:35,882
I charge seven-hundred
dollars an hour.

1569
01:27:38,020 --> 01:27:39,953
Fine, I'll do it pro-bono.

1570
01:27:39,955 --> 01:27:41,888
Let me see it.

1571
01:27:44,727 --> 01:27:46,560
I'm sorry, it's not
legally binding.

1572
01:27:46,562 --> 01:27:49,930
It states that this becomes
effective on Myles' birthday.

1573
01:27:49,932 --> 01:27:53,533
Unfortunately, that's
not until tomorrow.

1574
01:27:54,036 --> 01:27:56,737
I guess we'll just have
to wait twelve hours.

1575
01:27:56,739 --> 01:27:59,973
We can put him under
house arrest until
the contract is due.

1576
01:27:59,975 --> 01:28:02,376
I can leave this
perp in your custody.

1577
01:28:02,378 --> 01:28:04,444
The law is the law.

1578
01:28:05,848 --> 01:28:11,785
I'm so glad that everybody's
made the decision about
what I should do.

1579
01:28:15,557 --> 01:28:17,658
Does anybody want to
know what I think?

1580
01:28:17,660 --> 01:28:21,795
Yes, of course.

1581
01:28:21,797 --> 01:28:24,865
I think after
waiting ten years,

1582
01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:27,934
I deserve a proper kiss.

1583
01:28:29,038 --> 01:28:35,309
*

1584
01:28:49,458 --> 01:28:52,526
(FACETIME RINGING)

1585
01:28:55,597 --> 01:28:57,464
You're calling me why?

1586
01:28:57,466 --> 01:29:00,701
Well, I always call you after
I hook up with a hot guy.

1587
01:29:00,703 --> 01:29:02,436
How was it?

1588
01:29:02,438 --> 01:29:05,605
Let me put it like this: I'm
gonna have to call you back,

1589
01:29:05,607 --> 01:29:07,741
cause I'm about to do it again.

1590
01:29:07,743 --> 01:29:09,943
It was that good?

1591
01:29:09,945 --> 01:29:11,511
Oh yeah.

1592
01:29:11,513 --> 01:29:13,547
And by the way,

1593
01:29:13,549 --> 01:29:15,449
Happy Birthday Myles.

1594
01:29:15,451 --> 01:29:17,851
It certainly is.

1595
01:29:17,853 --> 01:29:23,890
*

1596
01:29:44,646 --> 01:29:50,717
*