[ominous music]
[dramatic music]
[suspenseful music]
- [Man Voiceover] On the maiden voyage of the Titan 1-C
the ship was struck by an ice comet and destroyed.
The lucky ones died quick.
For the survivors, the nightmare had only begun.
[ominous music]
[pleasant music]
Captain's log,
New Year's Eve, 2140.
Lewis McBride reporting.
The maiden voyage of the Titan 1-C
is going as smooth as can be.
This is a fine shot driven by the latest technology
and, of course, an experienced crew.
We're on schedule, heading through the Nebula Zone
in the cantankerous region of Alpha 19.
We are now preparing to land on the dark side of Uranus,
deploying exploration vehicle.
Three,
two,
one.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
[eerie music]
[girl giggling]
Alien life form.
Must take samples.
Do, do, do, do.
[sucking]
Tastes like Milky Way.
[vocalizing police siren]
- [Woman] We have encountered an issue.
What is the problem?
We have been invaded.
They have come to fuck all of our women.
This serves as a huge issue.
- [Lewis] Holy crap, we're stuck in a sinkhole.
- [Woman] Ow.
We must destroy you.
- [Lewis] No!
- [Woman] Get off of our planet.
- [Lewis] Help!
- [Woman] Disintegrate the truck.
[yelling]
We have conquered.
- [Lewis] I'm back with guns.
- [Woman] No!
[vocalizing police siren]
Oh my gosh.
- [Lewis] Wait, I found something here
we can use for a power source.
- [Woman] You can not have our power source.
- Captain McBride,
aren't you forgetting something?
- What?
Oh, the meteor storm?
Nah, that's way behind us.
- But it's almost midnight.
Don't you wanna wish the passengers a happy new year?
- Nah!
Fuck 'em.
[snickering]
- Isn't that First Officer Vickers coming?
- Shit!
Hide!
[whooshing]
- [Group] Ten,
nine,
eight,
seven,
six,
five,
four,
three,
two,
one!
Happy New Year!
[ship horn honking]
[people cheering]
- And happy new year to all of you aboard
the maiden voyage of the Titan 1-C.
Let's make 2140 a terrific year.
My orders for all passengers are to enjoy yourselves.
This is Captain Lewis McBride,
over and out.
- [Vickers] Happy New Year, Captain.
- Same to you, Lana.
Progress report.
- If we stick to this course,
we should be able to stay clear of the meteor storm
coming from the cortex region.
- Excellent.
Then I see no reason for you
to stay on the bridge all night.
Go enjoy yourself
and ring in the new year in style.
- The only style I require is a hot relaxing bath.
Are you gonna be okay all by yourself, Captain?
- Who said I'm gonna be all by myself?
- Are you expecting company?
- Do I have to order you to leave the bridge, First Officer?
- I can take a hint.
- If it's attached to a sledgehammer.
[laughing]
- Have a good night, Captain.
- Ah.
Thought you'd never leave.
Wow.
[ominous music]
- Hey guys!
Are you having fun on the Titan 1-C?
We got babes, booze and party
on the Titan 1-C.
On the Titan!
The Titan 1-C!
- Zach, what's up, buddy?
You got the thing we talked about?
♪ The place you wanna be
♪ We have so much fun on Titan 1-C ♪
- More?
Zach, don't take all these at once.
They're not really approved yet.
So I can get into any--
[thudding]
♪ Titan 1-C
Bye, Zach.
♪ We have so much fun
What a douche.
[intense rock music]
♪ You're gonna have a heart attack ♪
♪ You get me down to suffocate
♪ I got boss, you manipulate
- It's getting a little warm in here, ladies.
I think you're gonna make it a little hotter.
Yeah!
Woo!
[intense music]
Woo!
Yeah, ladies!
Put it down.
Show the captain what you can do.
[intense rock music]
Oh yeah,
I'd like to land on that planet.
Oh.
I need a drink.
Oh, ladies, yeah.
Show Captain McBride what you got to hide.
Show it to papa.
Yeah!
Woo!
Good girls!
Go, baby!
[laughing]
Nice.
[intense rock music]
[whooshing]
[rocks crumbling]
[laughing]
- Where are we going?
The party's not over.
- You're right. It's just the beginning.
Follow the leader.
- I thought I was the leader.
- You think too much.
- It's a curse.
- I think it's cool.
I wish I had super powers.
- Your super powers are located under your shirt.
- Yeah, well don't be expecting to see
any of my super powers tonight.
- That'll change
once you have one of these pink pills.
- What are those?
- New designer drug my dad's company's been working on.
Called Bliss.
Believe me, they are.
- They're designed to get women into bed.
- [Diamond] Does it work on men too?
- You'll find out.
[beeping]
[somber rock music]
[ship humming]
[engines buzzing]
- You guys, I don't like it down here.
- This is the only place we can party in private.
If you know what I mean.
- No cameras?
- One in here is turned off.
So we shouldn't be bothered.
- It's creepy.
Come on, can't we just go back to the room?
- What is that?
- What is it?
- It's a life pod, I think.
- Like pod?
- You know when you take a sea cruise
and there's a life boat?
Same thing.
- Is someone in a life pod?
- [Kenny] Only in space, no one can hear you moan.
- I don't moan.
- Try one.
Let's find out.
- What are you all doing up here?
This area is off limits.
No one's allowed up here
unless we're in an extreme emergency.
[ominous music]
- Now that's what I call
bringing in the new year with a bang.
[laughing]
- What do you call that?
- That is huge.
- I call that trouble!
- I can explain. We were just--
- Shut up!
[rumbling]
Everyone hang on.
- Ladies, hang on to something!
- Hang on to what?
- Anything rock solid.
- These aren't rock solid.
These are natural and soft.
[siren alarming]
[ship whooshing]
[screaming]
[crashing]
- Oh my god what the hell was that?
- Is everyone okay?
- Jesus.
[beeping]
- Captain McBride, Captain McBride,
this is First Officer Vickers.
Over.
- Yes, but I'm a little busy right now
trying to dodge a meteor storm.
[suspenseful music]
Woo!
I think we missed it.
[explosion booming]
Oh my god!
Ice comets dead ahead!
Everyone brace for impact!
Communication, send out a mayday!
[sirens alarming]
[thudding]
[splattering]
[ominous music]
[growling]
- Captain, there's something in these rocks.
[cracking]
[steam hissing]
[ominous music]
- Pressure leak!
Abandon ship!
[people screaming]
[explosion booming]
[screaming]
[electrical fizzling]
- [Lana] McBride! McBride!
What happened?
- The meteor exploded!
The hull is breached!
Evacuate the ship!
Get as many people onto the life pods as possible!
[glass cracking]
[scratching]
[ominous music]
[glass shattering]
Oh my god!
[glass shattering]
[intense music]
[growling]
[whimpering]
- [Robot] Red Alert!
Oxygen in bridge
Dropping to critical levels.
Dropping.
Oxygen in bridge
zero percent.
Red Alert!
Oxygen level in bridge
zero percent.
Red Alert.
Oxygen level in bridge
zero percent.
[gasping]
- What's going on?
Get in the life pod!
- I have to try and save some of the others.
- We've got people coming down the hall.
I'll try to redirect them to another pod.
- You get in the life pod!
The captain goes down with the ship.
- You are not the captain.
[suspenseful music]
[screaming]
[splattering]
[booming]
[screaming]
Come on!
Hurry up! Over here!
[screaming]
Come on!
Let's go! Come on!
Come on!
[thudding]
[screaming]
[booming]
[explosion rumbling]
- No!
[screaming]
[whooshing]
[people screaming]
[rumbling]
[screaming]
- The ship's going down faster than a Malthusian hooker!
- What?
- Everyone strap in!
- My parents are up there.
I can't leave without them.
- There is no up there anymore.
We need to leave, all of us, right now!
- No!
- Kenny, no!
[booming]
- Strap him in!
[suspenseful music]
Zach?
What is this piece of shit doing here?
- My guess is that he took all my Bliss pills
and was rubbing one out to these magazines.
- And I suppose how you gained access to the life pod bay.
What a douche.
But he may have just saved your life.
[whooshing]
Hang on.
[whooshing]
[explosions booming]
[whooshing]
- Look! Look!
Somebody else made it!
[booming]
Nevermind.
- I can't die like this!
- All right, fuck it.
- Hey, what're you doing?
- If I'm going out, I'm going out hard an happy.
- Have these been tested?
- Like that matters.
- Don't worry.
We are not going out like that.
Not if I can help it.
[whooshing]
[crumbling]
[zooming]
[laughing]
- Holy shit!
Almost everyone I love has been killed
and I'm sporting the biggest hard-on of my life.
- What are these pills you're popping on my ship?
- They're called Bliss.
- They're supposed to be instant sex in a capsule.
Kenny stole a bunch from his father's lab.
They've not been space drug approved yet.
- Zach took three and he's out.
[laughing]
- No more taking drugs on my watch.
- Well, if this shop crashes,
I can jimmy open the door with my throbbing love tool.
- Are you sure you don't wanna take some of this?
- I don't need to.
I can feel what it's doing to you guys.
- Di's an empath.
She can feel what others feel.
[moaning]
- Are we gonna make it?
- We're going somewhere.
I can't tell you where
but hang on!
[whooshing]
[laughing]
- My whole fucking family's dead and I feel fucking great!
[yelling]
- This is the best fucking ship to hell I've ever been on!
[whooshing] [screaming]
- We're gonna die!
[laughing]
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Oh my god!
[yelling]
[moaning]
[whooshing]
[booming]
[rumbling]
- Well, you guys have probably crash landed right now
on some distant alien planet.
Just sit tight and hold on to your rations.
Now in the rations, I've looks through them a little bit
and there's some really good peanuts
and I'm sure there's some mimosa mix in there.
Have some fun.
The party never stops.
Even though you're on a life pod,
you guys could still party.
- Hey.
Is everyone okay back there?
- You will be safe.
- [Lana] Wake up, we've landed.
- Oh, gross.
- I guess the pills are still working.
- Looks like your father's Bliss is a success.
- [Kenny] I'll say.
- You guys.
Come on, can we talk about more important things?
Like...
Where the hell are we?
- I see trees.
- We seem to be surrounded by foliage.
- Earth?
- No, not Earth.
We went down in the Nebulous region,
which is billions and billions of clicks away from Earth.
This is an uncharted planet.
The good news is,
judging by the greenery, there's probably an atmosphere
with enough oxygen for us to breathe.
- Wait, I'm not going out there.
- We don't have a choice.
We only have enough air to sustain us
for the next five to ten minutes.
- But we don't know what's out there.
- And what about getting back to Earth?
I have a life there.
- I turned on the homing beacon.
I'm sure the rescue team will be checking the area
for a survival signal.
- How long will that take?
- I don't know, a few days?
Look, I don't think anyone else made it.
We are incredibly lucky to be alive.
- I guess my little indiscretion saved our lives.
- No, it was Lana who brought us down there.
Thanks Lana.
- That's right!
You're a hero!
Our stoic pilot that kept her head, while the rest of us--
- Zach?
Zach?
Zach, wake up!
Come on, douche bag, wake up!
- He's not waking up?
- I'm not getting a pulse.
- [Red Head] Is he dead?
- He took three of those pills.
You think he overdosed?
- I didn't tell him to take three.
- All right, everyone, out of the pod now!
[ominous music]
- It looks like Earth.
- Looks can be deceiving.
It's very quiet.
Dead.
- I think Zach's dead too.
- I thought you said those pills were safe, man?
- Look, I took two and I feel fine.
- Really?
Let me see.
- What is she doing?
- I told you, Di's an empath.
She can sense what others feel,
especially when through physical contact.
[gasping]
[sexual moaning]
- Oh yeah.
[groaning]
[slapping]
You pig!
- Come on, Di.
I'm just a man.
- Is Kenny gonna be all right?
- He's horny as hell.
- I could've told you that.
He's always that way.
- Your pulse is racing.
- But I'm gonna be all right, right?
- Well, you could use some relief,
but you're not getting it from me.
He's your boyfriend, you deal with it.
- What?
Ew.
No.
Ugh.
- He's dead.
I think it was a heart attack.
[somber music]
- Maybe he just had a bad heart.
This is not my fault.
You're not suppose to take these things
if you have a heart condition
or high blood pressure or diabetes.
There's a long list.
But I'm not the one that ran us into a meteor storm.
- Neither did I.
All of the reports said that we we far away from that storm.
That wasn't a normal meteor.
- Look,
it's stupid to be passing blame around now.
We gotta deal with the situation at hand.
An untested sex pill is the least of our concerns.
- Tell that to Zach.
- Well, that's pointless, Terri,
because he's dead.
Along with everyone else on that ship.
- We will be too if we don't work together
until they come rescue us.
- He's right.
The blonde guy is right.
- Dirk.
- Terri.
- Ken.
- Di.
That's my name.
It's short for Diamond.
- Like diamond in the rough.
Get it, diamond in the rough?
Or diamond cutter.
Which is what's between my legs.
- So Kenny is the sex obsessed funny guy
and Dirk is the handsome,
smartish leader of the group.
And Terri is the innocent, worried virgin.
And Di is the resourceful tough girl with special abilities.
- What's your story?
- Lana Vickers, first officer.
And the new leader of this gang of misfit toys,
unless you have any objections.
- That depends on what your first order of business is.
- Stick together, stay near the pod.
- I'm down with that.
- In other words,
behave like smart, rational thinking adults.
- Sounds like a plan.
I'm all in.
- Ken, you in?
- In?
- Do you wanna live?
- Absolutely.
- So no wandering off with Terri and trying to get laid?
- Can't I do both?
[dramatic music]
- Okay, so we have cooking fuel.
We have enough rations for the week.
And we'll be rescued before the end of the week.
And we have our UV resistant survival clothes.
And we have a flare gun,
which we're gonna need that to signal the rescue ship.
Okay?
So this is what I want you guys to do.
I want you to set up bunks right over here.
[flare whistling]
[booming]
[fire crackling]
- You stupid mother fucker!
[wind howling]
- Well,
well.
It looks like we'll be going to look for food
now that our entire food supply is destroyed.
[beat music]
All right everyone, let's head out.
And stick together.
- Wait, wait.
What about Zach?
- I don't think he's going anywhere.
- We'll bury him when it's dark.
[ominous beat music]
[eerie music]
[cracking]
[buzzing]
[crunching]
[eerie music]
[gasping]
[foreboding beat music]
[eerie growling]
[menacing music]
- [Lana] So did anyone else lose a loved one on board?
- [Dirk] I tagged along with Ken and his family.
My parents still live in New Detroit.
- [Lana] And how did you two meet?
- [Diamond] On the ship.
I was supposed to come with my boyfriend.
- [Dirk] You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend.
- [Diamond] I don't.
The son-of-a-bitch was cheating on me.
I found out while we were in bed together.
- [Lana] He told you?
- [Diamond] Of course not.
But you can't keep secrets like that from an empath.
I dumped his ass but I kept my ticket.
No reason to let the wandering dick
ruin my first vaca in three years.
- [Terri] Was your ex on the ship?
- [Diamond] God, I hope so.
- [Lana] What about you, Terri?
- [Terri] Kenny and I have been dating for
a year?
- And you two still haven't--
- That's what I'm saying.
And you promised that could change on this trip.
- I told you.
I'm just not ready yet.
- Hence I brought the pills.
- Get those things away from me.
God, you've already killed one person with them.
- And you're fucking killing me here.
Bliss is fucking long-lasting
and my blue balls are turning purple.
- You are disgusting.
Okay, besides
cruise ship disasters are such
downers.
Oh.
[groaning]
- Christ.
I gotta release this jizz monster.
- Keep up, Ken.
- I'm coming.
I'm coming.
- Forget it.
[wind howling]
- Gotta rub one out.
I'm gonna explode.
[groaning]
[menacing music]
Oh shit!
[Ken chuckling]
You're still alive!
We all thought you were dead.
- Not
dead.
- No shit, not dead.
That's great news.
I knew these pills couldn't kill anyone.
Woo.
Made you hornier than hell though, right?
- Hornier than hell.
[laughing]
- I feel you.
I was just about to...
Nevermind.
We gotta go find the others.
Let them know that you're okay.
Maybe Terri won't be so afraid
to try one of these little suckers
and start sucking, if you know what I mean.
- One of these suckers.
- No.
I was talking about the pills.
Aren't those the rocks that crashed into our ship?
[shushing]
- Listen.
It's beautiful.
- They're like sea shells? Make sound?
[ominous music]
I don't hear anything.
[crackling]
Wait.
I can hear them cracking.
That's kinda cool.
[menacing music]
[yelling]
[cracking]
[eerie music]
- Hey, you guys, Kenny's not keeping up.
I think we should stop here for awhile and wait for him.
[screaming]
- Ken!
Hey Ken, come on!
Jesus Christ, what is he doing?
- I know exactly what he's doing.
He's probably spanking the monkey before he explodes.
- Do you think he needs some help?
- He could probably use and extra hand,
if you know what I mean.
- Didn't we already talk this?
Sticking together?
- Yeah but I still think I should go and check on him.
- It's going to be dark soon
and I don't wanna be out here wandering around when it is,
so we should press on.
- How about Terri and I just go back?
We'll get Ken, you guys can find food.
We'll meet you back at the pod.
- That sounds like splitting up, you know?
Exactly what we said we shouldn't do.
- I said we shouldn't wonder out alone.
Groups of two are still together.
- Yeah but groups of four are better than groups of two.
- What is this? A math contest?
Look, I'm not responsible for stragglers,
so do what you wanna do.
It's your funeral.
- We'll be okay.
I'll see you back at the pod.
- Wow.
Come on.
[sighing]
- [Terri] Thanks for coming with me.
- Of course!
I don't think any of us should be out here alone.
- That's why we can't leave Kenny behind.
- What do you see in him?
If you don't mind me asking.
- Kenny?
I don't know.
He's kind of sweet and funny,
when he's not trying to get in my pants.
- And what percent of the time is he not trying?
- Five percent?
- No, seriously.
- Two percent?
Maybe when he's asleep.
- That's what I thought.
And you obviously don't want to have sex with him.
- Wait, I never said that.
- It's been a year.
- I'm just waiting for the right time, that's all.
- After a year, there is no right time.
[eerie breathing]
- Well what about you and Dirk?
What do you see in him?
- Money.
And he's not bad to look at.
Decent in bed.
And he's not cheating on me.
The not cheating part is a big plus.
- Okay, wait, didn't you guys say you just met on the Titan?
- Yeah, about a week ago.
- And you've already done it?
- Terri, sex can be just sex.
Especially on the rebound.
It doesn't have to be a big thing.
Not that I have an issue with big things.
Actually, the bigger the better, in my opinion.
- Hey, when you like,
you know, do it with a guy.
- Yeah?
- Do you also feel what he's feeling?
- Yup.
- Like while you're having?
- Uh huh.
[laughing]
Double the pleasure.
It's one of the perks.
[giggling]
[rustling]
- What was that?
- Someone's been trailing us.
- Do you think it's Kenny?
- I don't know.
It's hard to get a clear feeling.
- Kenny!
Kenny!
- Terri, wait!
- Kenny!
- Ken?
- Kenny!
- Terri, wait!
[ominous music]
- Kenny?
Oh my god, Kenny!
Kenny!
Kenny, speak to me!
Oh my god.
They killed Kenny!
- Hold on.
Hold on.
Terri, he's alive.
But his heart is racing.
- Because of the pills?
- I don't know but we should get him back to the life pod.
I'm sure there's some kind of first aid kit or something.
- We have to tell the others.
Maybe that officer lady can help.
- You're right.
- Okay.
You go get the others.
I'm gonna stay here with Kenny.
- Okay.
Wait a minute.
This looks like the meteor off the ship.
[eerie music]
- They probably came crashing down here
when the ship exploded.
[gasping]
What? What's wrong?
- I felt something.
I'm feeling completely alien.
- [Terri] From a rock?
- I think there's something inside the rock.
Something that escaped.
And Terri, I'm getting really weird feelings.
- You need to go!
Go warn the others!
- Okay.
Okay.
Don't move from this spot.
Okay?
I'll be right back.
- Kenny, you're gonna be okay.
- Lana!
- You're gonna be okay, I'm here.
I'm gonna take care of you, Kenny.
Please stay with me.
[ominous music]
- I think we can eat these.
They're not the most tasty things in the universe,
but at least it's some basic sugar.
- All right, well let's hurry up.
I don't wanna leave the girls alone for too long.
- Okay, we just need to pick them.
You really care about Di, huh.
- Yeah.
I mean, I've only known her a week
but there's a real connection there.
Let's hope she's not using me.
- [Lana] Using you?
- Yeah, I mean, I really care about her
but does she feel the same way?
I don't know.
She can tell everything that I feel
but it's all one-sided.
- That must be really strange
not to be able to hide you feelings.
- So what happened with the ship?
Did the captain fuck up?
- No.
Captain McBride was excellent.
He was the best star ship navigator I have ever worked with.
Look, we were clear of that storm.
I triple checked it before we left the bridge.
- Maybe he changed course after you left.
- No, I would've felt that.
- You're psychic too?
- No.
I know my way around the star ship
and I have an excellent sense of direction
and so did the captain.
Look, I know that this sounds crazy,
but I think that meteor hit us on purpose.
- Can meteors do that?
- Not normal ones.
When we get back to the life pod,
I want to examine those fragments that hit us.
Maybe something magnetized them
and that's why they were drawn to us.
- Magnetic attraction?
- Yeah.
Like you and Di.
Or Kenny and Terri.
- What about you?
- What?
Do I have someone special in my life?
- Yeah.
Were you and the captain?
[laughing]
- Hell no.
The captain and I got along great.
But he was a bit of a lady's man
and I'm not that easy.
Let's go.
- Noted.
[ominous music]
- Kenny.
[eerie music]
You really do need a release, don't you?
[groaning]
Baby.
[sighing]
Can a guy die from blue balls?
Oh god, I can't.
I can't do it, Kenny, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I thought I could.
I wanna help you.
God, I just can't.
- He's your boyfriend, Terri.
Sex can be just sex.
You deal with it.
- Dirk took one of these
and he didn't have a bad reaction.
My heart is strong.
You better appreciate what I'm doing for you
when you wake up, Kenny.
[ominous music]
[sighing]
Okay.
Now what?
[ominous music]
- Dirk?
Lana, is that you?
[whooshing]
I know someone's there! Come out!
[gasping]
Oh my god, Zach!
Holy shit, we thought you were dead.
- So I've heard.
- I guess Vickers doesn't know everything.
Come on, we have to find the others.
[menacing music]
What?
- What is it? What's wrong?
- You're not Zach.
What are you?
- Hungry.
[suspenseful music]
[growling]
- Oh god.
That's weird.
It's getting darker
but it feels like it's getting hotter.
Or is that just me?
Wow.
Oh.
Oh, Kenny.
I think the pills are working.
Oh.
My cha-cha is all tingly.
Oh wow.
Oh, Kenny.
Oh.
Oh, I see what you mean now.
It's like fireworks are going off
in my love spot.
[moaning]
I think I'm ready.
I'm ready for love.
Oh Kenny,
I hope this makes you feel better.
Cause I know it's gonna make me feel better.
[giggling]
- This is some fucked up shit.
Where are you?
[ominous music]
[liquid trickling]
[screaming]
[growling]
- That's Di!
[ominous music]
- Dirk!
Shit, Dirk!
- Oh, Kenny.
- Diamond!
Di!
[gasping]
- Oh, you are big.
Oh.
Oh fuck yeah.
- Dirk?
- Where are you?
- Oh you big bad boy.
[laughing]
Oh god.
This is really happening Kenny.
[eerie music]
- Is someone out there?
- Oh, one part of you is definitely awake.
Oh that's it!
Oh wow!
You give me all you got!
- Who is that?
[eerie music]
[yelling]
Dirk!
- Oh Kenny!
Oh, it feels like...
[sexually moaning]
Oh Kenny.
Oh god, it feels like...
It feels like you're getting even bigger.
[yelling]
[eerie music]
Oh.
Oh god!
[screaming]
Holy shit!
I'm being punished by predator!
[screaming]
- No! It's me!
Don't.
I love you.
We're finally together in that special way.
- Oh, Kenny.
Kenny, I love you.
Oh god, these pills must be messing with my head.
Oh.
Kenny, you are so...
You are so...
You're a fucking alien with fucking alien cum!
[screaming]
[thudding]
[screaming]
[crunching]
[screaming]
Wow.
Oh.
So that's what it feels like.
- Terri!
What the fuck are you doing?
- I guess I got a little carried away.
First time and all.
- You're a fucking black widow.
- No!
No, it wasn't Kenny.
I mean it was Kenny but then he transformed
into something else, I swear.
- Yeah, he transformed into a dead body thanks to you.
- No.
It was raping me.
- With you on top?
[groaning]
- I was just trying to relieve him.
Like you said.
- Okay guys, we need to hold on.
There is something in the woods that looks like Zach.
- That's impossible.
Zach is dead.
- Well sthen something is using his body
because he attacked me and turned into a monster.
- A horny sex monster!
- How do you think I got these?
- I saw something too.
It came after me.
We're not alone on this planet.
- It's like "Invasion of the Booty Snatchers."
- Okay, it's getting dark.
We should get back to the life pod.
[wind blowing]
- Did you?
- Just one.
- Do they work?
Oh, yep.
It wasn't as romantic as I had expected.
- Poor kid.
It's usually pretty painful
the first time.
Come on.
[ominous music]
- See?
Zach's still here.
- I wouldn't be so sure.
Check it.
[ominous music]
[gasping]
[foreboding music]
- Now, exactly what did you guys see out there?
Come on.
I need to know what we're dealing with here.
- It's not human.
It can look human but it's not.
- What does that mean?
- I know what she means.
It's like one minute it was Kenny
and then the next it was this very large creature
with a very large.
- I saw the same thing.
It was Zach and then it wasn't Zach.
- What if it is Zach?
His body wasn't here when we got back.
- He's dead, I'm sure of it.
- Then either something dragged him away,
or according to you two,
got inside of him.
- That wasn't a meteor that hit the Titan.
- Then what was it?
- Parasites.
Thousands and thousands of parasites,
bound together, searching for a new home.
The rock-like exterior was just a protective shell
for thousands of living organisms inside.
I have a feeling they've been searching for a very long time
for a suitable new host.
[fire crackling]
- How the hell do you know that?
- When I touched the meteor
and that creature that looks like Zach,
I had a vision.
- How very convenient.
- Do you not believe me?
- You said, yourself,
that you thought that meteor hit us on purpose.
That it wasn't an accident.
- Yeah, but I didn't say anything about an alien attack.
- There was something inside
those pieces of meteor that hit us.
- And whatever it was hatched, got inside Zach and Kenny,
and is, was, using them as host bodies.
- Do you have any better explanation?
- No.
But I have a question.
- How did you get away from the creature, Di?
And I can ask you the same thing.
- What are you saying?
If what you're saying is true,
then this thing or things can invade a host body
and control them from the inside, right?
- Yes.
- While continuing to look like the people they've invaded.
- I had no idea that it wasn't Kenny
until it changed while I was on...
Oh god.
Oh, I feel so violated.
- Then how do we know that we all are still us?
- What?
- You say you escape from the creature
and so do you.
And you say,
it was Kenny who was the creature
and that's why you killed him.
- That's right.
- How do I know that you all are telling the truth?
What if you didn't escape?
We were all separated out there
and no one can back up anyone's story, can they?
- Wait, Di can tell us.
She can touch each of us and use her power
to say whether or not we are who we say we are.
- And what if Di is infected?
She'll say anything the alien inside of her
wants her to say.
Maybe she doesn't even know she's being controlled,
manipulated,
and I can't trust that.
- Hey, if you and Dirk got separated as well,
no one can account for you either, Vickers.
How do we know the creature didn't get to you?
- You don't.
- Di's the one who told us all about the creatures
and their motives.
Why would she do that
if she was infected and trying to hide?
- So we wouldn't trust one another.
- You're the one who went down that road.
Not me.
- You know what, I'll admit it.
I barley know any of you.
But from what Dirk says,
he doesn't know much more about you.
You guys had a whirlwind ship board romance.
- Yeah, but they have already had sex.
- Don't help, Terri.
So, I sense you two got rather friendly while I was away.
What else did you tell her, Dirk?
- Nothing.
We were just talking.
Idle chatter.
- He doesn't like being used.
- Really?
You think I'm using you?
- Well, aren't you?
I mean, from what you've told me.
- Guys, I think we're getting a little off topic here.
Deadly aliens trying to take over our bodies, remember?
- If you don't like where this relationship is going,
we can end it right here and now.
- If you guys do end up breaking up,
would you mind if I took a a shot?
Dirk is pretty cute and from what you've told me.
- What the fuck?
Does everyone want to have sex with my boyfriend?
- I'm sorry.
I think I'm still aroused from that pill I took earlier.
It's like my chest is on fire.
It's just so sensitive.
- You know what, Dirk?
You can do what ever and whoever you want.
- Di, baby, come back.
Come on, you know you're the only one I want.
You know that, you know everything.
- You guys.
I think I just felt a lump.
[groaning]
This is not normal.
- Are you all right?
- I don't know, do my breasts look bigger to you?
[groaning]
Oh god!
Is this normal after sex?
Oh god!
[screaming]
[squelching]
[screaming]
[growling]
- Get in the pod, quickly!
- What the fuck?
- Did you see that?
- I did, we all did.
- It used Terri's boobs as a breading ground.
She was about to give birth
to more of those things.
[thudding]
[ominous music]
[fire crackling]
[thudding]
- Kill me!
Please, before more of the worm gets into my brain.
[insects buzzing]
[crying]
Kill me!
[fire crackling]
[growling]
[banging]
[suspenseful music]
- Are we safe in here?
- Safer than out there.
- Unless one of us is infected, right?
- Could you just cut that shit, okay?
We've got a real threat out there we gotta deal with.
- I have an idea.
- That's what we need right now, ideas.
Good ideas!
[banging]
- It's worth a try.
[fire rumbling]
- Are you trying to lift off?
- Yes and no.
[fire rumbling]
- Whatever you're doing, it's not doing any good!
Stop it!
[fire rumbling]
- No, but it's driving the creature away.
[creature growling]
I just saw it run off.
- That's what I was hoping would happen.
- And it's popping all the worms to pieces too.
[fire rumbling]
[creature screaming]
Your plan worked.
- [Diamond] For now.
But that monster will be back.
- Before it does, we better figure out a way to do it.
[screeching]
- What!
Whoa!
- [Diamond] No, don't hurt it!
- [Dirk] What are you doing?
- If I touch it, maybe I could feel what makes it tick.
- She's right.
It might help us find a way to beat its daddy.
- We can dissect it.
- No!
I can learn more if its still alive.
[alien chirping]
- I'm gonna let it go.
- Okay.
- Just keep that sucker away from me.
- Sorry, little guy.
I just need to feel what you know.
- Just stop talking to it like a pet cat and get on with it!
[ominous music]
- Okay, it's okay.
Pain!
- Let's kill this experiment.
- [Dirk] No, wait!
- Hold on.
I see.
It's hard to put into words.
[eerie music]
These creatures are like a virus.
An organism living on the edge of life.
But not alive.
A biological seed
that seeks out, infects and replicates
inside a host organism.
They resided in the rock remains of their planet,
which was destroyed by a supernova
ages ago.
Pushed on by solar winds,
the search for a host to infect
in the empty, sterile wilderness
of endless time
in deep space.
[somber music]
A leader,
a brain.
There is an intelligence,
one part of a whole that directs the attack on the host.
[whooshing]
[eerie music]
The virus releases an attack on the ship Titan 1-C.
The infectious agent mistakes the ship
for a living organism
and views us as cells of that organism.
Cells with genetic material
that can be converted to its own evil means to survive.
To survive through behavioral manipulation of other species.
To survive by destroying entire races of species.
The intelligent brain!
The central nervous system of the hive,
the leader!
It's here!
On the planet with us!
Jumping from host to host at will.
We only have once chance.
One chance.
Kill the brain!
It'll kill us all!
- A virus can be that complex?
That big?
- The vast majority of the biomass
of life on Earth are viruses.
- And it can manipulate people at will?
- There are fungi in the Amazon
that can control leaf cutter ants.
Viruses that control mice.
It's not unheard of.
- You said there was an intelligence.
Can we communicate with it?
- I don't think it wants to hear anything we have to say.
- I'm more interested in killing it.
So if we can find its brain,
can we cut off the head to kill the tail?
- I believe so.
But it won't be easy.
- Let's search the pod and make sure that no more
of those alien worms got on board, okay?
- Di, don't worry, everything will be all right.
I'm sure they've got a rescue squad on the way.
There will be a party here any minute to rescue us.
[gasping]
What?
What is it?
- [Lana] What's wrong?
- You're not Dirk.
- [Dirk] What're you?
- You're one of those things!
- What're you talking about?
It's me, it's Dirk!
- No, when you touched me I saw.
- She doesn't know what she's talking about.
Di, you've still got that alien worm goo in your hand.
You're sensing them, not me.
- Stay away from me.
- I'm not one of those monsters.
It chased me in the woods but I escaped.
- How?
- I don't know, I outran it.
Then I heard Terri screaming
and I ran off in that direction
where I found both of you.
- If we let it stay in here with us,
it'll impregnate us both.
Just like with Terri.
- Believe me, after what I've seen tonight,
I never wanna have sex ever again.
So you can both relax, okay?
- You have to believe me.
He's one of those things.
- I'm gonna need a little more proof than just your say so.
And personally, I'm a little bit skeptical
of the whole psychic ability thing.
- Di, I believe in your abilities
but you've been wrong before, you told me so yourself.
Just touch me again and you'll see
that I'm not one of those creatures.
- Don't try to trick us!
- Both of you, sit down and strap yourselves in the seats!
- No way, what if you're a creature?
- If two of us were infected, it would make it easy
for us to overpower the third,
which makes me think at least two of us
are exactly who we say we are.
- Three of us.
I'm not infected!
- Well I'm not taking any chances.
So either strap yourself in or leave the pod now
and take your chances out there.
- I'd prefer to leave.
- There's the door.
- Di,
you can't go out there.
That creature's still out there somewhere.
- I think my odds of survival are better out there
than they are out there.
- Just let her go, Dirk.
- Who says I wanna stay in here alone with you?
- Well then you're free to go too.
But just know, once you're out there,
there is no way you're getting back in here.
- Di,
this is insane.
Touch me again.
You'll see you made a mistake.
- It's going to kill you if you stay in here.
You should leave with me.
It's your only hope.
- You may be right,
but why is it that psychics don't play the lottery
or stocks and trades?
Hey, Di.
[electric buzzing]
[screaming]
- Holy shit!
[ominous music]
- I guess we know who's who.
[electrical buzzing]
[screeching]
- How'd you know?
- I took a calculated guess and like I said,
I don't trust psychics.
There's usually a trick involved.
- What about me?
- It was a nice ploy to pretend the human was an alien
while the alien pretended to be human.
But luckily for you and me, I didn't buy it.
- Dirk!
First Officer Vickers!
There's no escape from us.
- Get the fuck out of here, you shape-shifting bitch!
- When it caught me in the woods,
I was afraid at first.
Not anymore.
The transformation can be
quite pleasurable.
And it's true,
you do end up being manipulated.
But human evolution has been manipulated from the beginning
by Earth bound viruses.
So why don't you come out, Dirk?
It's a new, enlightening experience.
A hundred times more stimulating
than that silly bliss pill
Join us
and we'll be able to spread out seed across the universe,
together.
- Yo, news flash!
We killed your offspring.
- Actually, the human female reproductive system
makes for an excellent breeding ground
for our superior race,
as you've witnessed.
- Fuck.
- Wit ha few slight alterations.
- Screw you, Diamond.
- Actually,
that's exactly what we have in mind.
[sensual music]
[moaning]
- Are they going to?
Ugh.
- Get the fuck away from my girlfriend.
- She is not your girlfriend anymore.
- I've gotta go out there.
- No, don't!
It's just another one of their tricks.
- That's not a fucking trick.
She is going to have sex with that space monster.
[sensual music]
- Ugh.
- That is some sick shit going on out there.
♪ Find me
♪ This time maybe we both found forever ♪
♪ This time my heart's finally found a home ♪
[moaning]
♪ In your arms it feels like
♪ We were born to be together
♪ This time maybe we both found forever ♪
[moaning]
♪ We can dream or whole dream
♪ But we never really know
♪ How the story's gonna go
♪ I'm not pretending
- Now,
witness the birth of a master race.
♪ It's hard not to believe in happy endings ♪
[squelching]
- Oh god.
♪ This time my heart's finally found a home ♪
♪ In your arms it feels like we were born to be ♪
♪ Together
♪ This time maybe we both found forever ♪
- We can't just stay in here while they create
an army of fucking alien space monsters.
- Do you have any good ideas?
They're far enough away from the pod.
We can't fry them.
- [Radio Voice] Rescue vehicle in route.
Rescue vehicle in route.
- Oh shit, they picked up our signal.
- Who did?
- The rescue ship.
Their ETA is 24 hours.
- Can you tell them not to come?
Our communication is down, I can't.
I can't tell them not to come.
I can't warn them!
- We just have to make sure that by the time they get here
we are still us!
- They can look like us, they can become us,
they can trick us, they already have.
- They're still out there waiting for us.
- Let's get some rest.
When it's light out,
we're gonna hunt them down and kill them.
War begins tomorrow.
- Do you have a plan?
- Keep the door closed.
[ominous music]
- Where are you fuckers?
- [Echo] Where are you fuckers?
- Come on!
I know you're out here somewhere!
Come on!
- [Echo] Come on!
[eerie music]
- Dirk!
Stop!
It's just me.
- Lana.
Let me go grab the taser.
It's time to find and fry them.
- Yeah it is.
[ominous music]
- Lana?
What're you doing here?
- What're you doing?
Why's the door open?
- I just went outside for a minute.
- By yourself?
- Yeah, I wanted to take a look.
- What did you find?
- I found you.
- How do I know you're still you?
- Because it's me, Lana, you can trust me.
- I wish you hadn't gotten outside by yourself.
- Get away from that thing, Dirk.
[ominous music]
- You things can't fool me!
[eerie music]
[gasping]
- What?
What is it?
- I just had a fucked up dream.
- More fucked up than the situation we're in?
- Almost.
It's morning.
- Now the real fun begins.
Why'd they do this?
- They're just trying to scare us.
- It takes at least three dismembered bodies to scare me.
Worst comes to worse,
we could always overdose on bliss.
I think I'd prefer a heart attack to this.
- It didn't stop them from invading Kenny.
- Point taken.
[growling]
- I am sick of these motherfucking worms
on this motherfucking planet!
[cracking]
- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
Just next time, try keeping your mouth shut.
[upbeat music]
[growling]
[upbeat music]
[fire whooshing]
[screeching]
[upbeat music]
[fire whooshing]
[growling]
[record scratching]
[coughing]
[growling]
[upbeat music]
[fire whooshing]
[upbeat music]
- Groovy.
[screeching]
- [Radio Voice] Rescue vehicle in route.
Rescue vehicle in route.
T-minus three hours.
- Fresh victims on the way.
- You think these things have a weak spot?
- They haven't brought back Kenny.
- Yeah, his head was bashed in.
And Terri was thrown head first into the fire.
- I'm thinking that if the brain is severely damaged
there's no coming back.
If I get taken over, bash my brains in.
- That's a cheery thought.
- It's probably my last thought.
- [Diamond] Are you ready to join us?
[ominous music]
Join us!
- Here we go.
[ominous music]
- Later.
- Join this, bitch!
[suspenseful music]
[growling]
- Hi, Dirk.
I miss you, lover.
And I know you miss me.
I know everything about you.
We can be together again, Dirk.
Wouldn't you like that?
[monster laughing]
[gasping]
- Not after watching you give birth to fucking blood worms.
- I can do thinks you can't even imagine.
[swishing]
[suspenseful music]
You've never had deep throat like this before.
- I could use a hand here.
Hello?!
[suspenseful music]
- How's this for deep throat?!
[suspenseful music]
[crunching]
- What the hell did you do?
- Zach overdosed on these things!
Let's see what happens to this guy!
[squelching]
[crunching]
[suspenseful music]
[growling]
- Looks like you could use a good poke.
[booming]
- No!
[guts splattering]
- That was truly heartfelt.
- Probably not what Kenny's father had in mind
when he created this stuff.
But it works for me.
One down,
one to go.
The leader.
- Where is she?
She was right here!
- She's probably not that happy
that we just killed her fuck buddy.
- What do you think she's gonna do about it?
[ominous music]
[fire whooshing]
[explosion rumbling]
- Come on!
[pulse whooshing]
Shit.
Looks like it's time to finish this once and for all.
Are you with me, Dirk?
[whooshing]
Guess not.
- Time for a face off.
- Where's Dirk?
- You were right.
He should keep his mouth shut.
Won't be long, soon as he sees the light.
- Why would you blow up our only means of escape?
I thought you wanted to get out of here
as much as we did.
- I know about the rescue team
and they've already pinpointed the pod's location.
You know, I'm really looking forward to visiting
your beautiful, blue home planet
and all its inhabitants.
- You seem to know a lot about Earth.
- A lot of useful information is stored up here
and Diamond really was a special girl.
More powerful than even she knew.
- Well maybe I can help you open your cranial capacity!
[whooshing]
- Di wasn't just an empath.
He had telekinetic powers too.
I couldn't ask for a better host.
Between her powers and my will,
nothing can stop our race.
- Yeah right!
[squelching]
- Nice try.
[ominous music]
[whooshing]
[eerie music]
Why don't you just lay back?
[whimpering]
Relax.
And enjoy the incoming invasion.
[alien buzzing]
Once we get you warmed up, you'll be begging for more.
[whimpering]
[suspenseful music]
[thudding]
[gagging]
[stick cracking]
- Fuck with someone your own size!
Just die!
[whooshing]
I can't believe you saved me a for a second time.
- I told you.
I don't like being used.
I would never accuse you of that.
[foreboding music]
- Don't!
No!
Don't! Don't!
- Did she?
- I can feel them inside me!
Those worms!
Now they're trying to take control.
They're burrowing inside my brain!
- No, maybe I can get them out!
- No, you have to kill me!
Kill me now!
- No! No!
[ship whooshing]
- It's okay.
I feel much better.
- Oh no.
- Come on, Lana.
Join us.
- No! No!
No!
[suspenseful music]
[dramatic music]
[booming]
[foreboding music]
- No!
Don't touch her!
She's a monster.
Didn't you see all those body parts?
- You idiot!
This woman is fatally wounded.
- Good!
- I didn't have enough time!
It all happened so fast.
- Good job.
She killed all my friends.
She bashed Kenny's head in.
He was my best friend.
She's a monster.
Thank you.
- Hey, get the fuck away from me!
Scotty, get away from him!
- Guys, what's the problem?
- Whatever it is that got into her could've gotten into you.
- Sir, I told you--
- You are gonna wait on this planet
until a special remote control vehicle
comes and picks you up!
- Sir.
- I'm sorry but I can't take any more chances
and you were in an awful hurry to off that woman.
- I told you!
She killed everyone!
Come on, please!
You can't leave me here!
Get me out of here!
I got a lot of money back on Earth!
A lot of it!
I'll pay you!
- Sorry for the inconvenience,
but it'll just be a few more hours.
Scotty, let's go.
- If that's the way it's gotta be.
[foreboding music]
- Scotty, what the hell?
[booming]
- Yes!
I am loving these telekinetic powers!
Scotty, I don't know how to fly a space ship,
so your services are needed.
- Aye, Captain.
[eerie music]
- Well, Lana.
- Dirk.
- You put up a good fight,
but you were destined to lose.
I knew it all along.
That's why I had Diamond tell you our whole story.
You were never a threat to us.
In fact, it was really, really fun.
Now, I could heal you and turn you right now but I won't.
I'll let you stay human.
I think you'd want it that way.
And as you die, here, on this dust ball,
remember that I'll be on Earth in the warm sun
and everyone you ever knew and loved will be one of us.
All your nieces and nephews
and your mommy and your daddy,
if they're still kicking it.
Just let that roll around in your head a little bit.
Good bye.
- Dirk.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Begging for death?
- I had fun too.
But remember what I told you about your mouth.
[laughing]
[coughing]
[laughing]
- All right, let's get the hell out of dodge!
[ominous music]
[space ship engine powering up]
- Remember what I said, Dirk.
- Go!
Go!
- Keep your fucking mouth shut.
- Go!
[booming]
[squelching]
[dramatic music]
[whooshing]
[screaming]
[booming]
[dramatic music]
[eerie music]
[aliens chirping]
[upbeat rock music]
[somber music]
[ominous music]
[dramatic music]
[ominous music]