1 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,641 Everyone has their path in life, 2 00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,337 and this is more or less where mine started. 3 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:50,849 My name is Norbit Albert Rice, and I was an orphan. 4 00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,247 I like to think my parents loved me very much, 5 00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,986 but just didn't have the means to properly care for me. 6 00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:04,222 I can see them researching all of the orphanages in the area, 7 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,230 agonizing over their choices, 8 00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,596 trying to make sure their precious little boy 9 00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:11,602 was raised in the perfect environment. 10 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,120 Ling Ling! Someone left another one! 11 00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,882 Coyotes, go! Get! Back! Back, coyotes! 12 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,922 Get out here! You not eat another baby. 13 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,798 Oh, crap. Another black one. 14 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,474 Can't give these away. 15 00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:57,214 You ugly black one, too. You be here long time. 16 00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,783 Nobody ever come and say, "Give me the ugly, black one." 17 00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:04,081 You very ugly baby. The ugliest baby I ever seen. 18 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,221 A lot of people think that orphanages are cold and scary, 19 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,057 but the Golden Wonton was a great place to grow up. 20 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:13,860 We had everything normal children had. Pets... 21 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,062 Here. Play with that. 22 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:23,571 ...a big backyard, and lots of kids to play with. 23 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,276 Ling Ling! The children got in MSG barrel. 24 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,348 Now all their hair gonna fall out again. 25 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,680 You stupid orphan! Nobody want a bald orphan! 26 00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:35,310 Norbit, how you find family with no hair? 27 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,389 Nobody want a bald Norbit! 28 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,788 What the hell wrong with the children here? 29 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,259 Mr. Wong was a very interesting man. 30 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:46,492 In addition to his love for children and preparation of fine Asian cuisine, 31 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,591 he had a real passion for old-time whaling. 32 00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:51,670 It's a whale, ho! 33 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,739 Die, you son-of-a! 34 00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:01,438 Bingo! Right in the blow hole! 35 00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:08,550 Norbit, where you go? Why you run off like little bitch? 36 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,087 After Marvin Browning got lost downtown for a couple of weeks, 37 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,354 the orphanage started using a buddy system. 38 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,485 Go, Norbit! 39 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,530 My buddy was little Kate. 40 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,998 Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! 41 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,196 That's okay. You're doing good. 42 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:35,904 Kate and I were always together. Playing checkers... 43 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,583 - Oh, man. - Yes! 44 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,147 ...watching scary movies. 45 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,686 Why, we even pooped together. 46 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:54,232 And then one day, Kate and I decided that we should tie the knot. 47 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,167 We got married under the great big oak tree. 48 00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,704 I now pronounce you my wife. 49 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,402 And I pronounce you my husband. 50 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,210 It's watermelon. 51 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,378 Yours is green apple. 52 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,221 I think it's time for us to kiss now. 53 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,189 And we lived happily ever after 54 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,498 for about two weeks until she got adopted. 55 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,435 Bye, Norbit. 56 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,470 I didn't do too much bike riding after that. 57 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,948 When Kate left, there was an odd number of kids at the orphanage, 58 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,986 so I was buddyless for a while. 59 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:51,952 And sometimes I'd get a little sad, 60 00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,262 but I never lost hope. 61 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:03,631 I knew that someday I'd find another somebody to share my life with. 62 00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:07,035 All I had to do was just be patient. 63 00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:13,007 - What'd you do that for? - Because we felt like it. 64 00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,512 - What are you gonna do about it? - What are you gonna do about it? 65 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:16,582 Loser. 66 00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,380 Stop it. 67 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,793 Leave him alone. 68 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,829 - Says who? - Says who? 69 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:37,635 - Who are you? - Rasputia. What's your name? 70 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:42,465 - Norbit. - Norbit? That's a stupid name. 71 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:46,040 - Why'd you beat those boys up? - To protect you. 72 00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,945 - You got a girlfriend, Nesbit? - Norbit. 73 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:51,912 No. 74 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,977 Well, you do now. Get your ass up and hold my hand. 75 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:59,122 - Okay. - How you doing? 76 00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:03,989 Everything changed once I had Rasputia as my girlfriend. 77 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,224 We took care of each other, 78 00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,860 and the other kids started to respect me. 79 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,528 I'll take... 80 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,514 - Norbit. - Come on. 81 00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:27,752 And because of Rasputia, for the first time in my life, 82 00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,914 I had a real family. 83 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,218 Rasputia had three brothers. 84 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,817 Big Black Jack. He was the oldest. 85 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,088 Leg. 86 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,465 Then, there was Blue. 87 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,958 Breasts. 88 00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:47,968 And Earl. He was the baby. 89 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,336 Wing. 90 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,641 They sure loved their little sister, 91 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,043 and so they treated me like one of their own. 92 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:58,015 Here you go, Norbit. Saved the best piece for you. 93 00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:02,117 - What's that? - Turkey ass. Eat up, sucker. 94 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,017 Bon appetitty. 95 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,283 Bon appetitty. 96 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,926 The Latimores had a reputation 97 00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:13,964 for being the meanest, nastiest people in town, 98 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,728 but that’s just because folks didn't know them. 99 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:19,498 They were actually very nice, hard-working people. 100 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,805 They ran the local construction company, 101 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,936 and recently, responding to the needs of the community... 102 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,034 Yo, Morris. 103 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,944 ...had opened a little security business. 104 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,916 It was a surprisingly popular service among the local vendors. 105 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:37,751 Hey, you don't shake me down. I'm Italian. I shake you down. 106 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,381 - Is that right? - Yes. 107 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,221 Get his ass in here. 108 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:49,659 I'm in. 109 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:56,272 As time passed, Rasputia and I got closer and closer, 110 00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:01,109 in high school and as adults. 111 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,918 I started working as a bookkeeper in her family’s business. 112 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,587 I'm expecting some important calls today, Norbit, 113 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,324 so when you answer the phone, try and sound white. 114 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:11,915 So when you answer the phone, try and sound white. 115 00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:14,652 It was like everything was finally coming together. 116 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,727 Yes. 117 00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:19,626 Of course, it was only natural that Rasputia and I 118 00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,326 would take the next step in our relationship. 119 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,962 I now pronounce you man and wife. 120 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,232 You may kiss the bride. 121 00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:57,095 Open your mouth. 122 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,771 Go, Rasputia! 123 00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:11,806 It was a storybook wedding, 124 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,648 the beginning of a brand-new chapter. 125 00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:21,092 I knew I would never be lonely again. I had found my place in the world. 126 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,187 Poor Norbit. Man. 127 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,766 Back when I was in the game, I used to tell my hos, 128 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:32,566 "Hos, ain't no man gonna pay for the cow if he can get the milk for free." 129 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,106 You ain't got to worry about this brother buying the milk, 130 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,005 'cause he just bought the whole damn cow. 131 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,943 That's a special cow, too. 132 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,843 That must be where buttermilk come from. 133 00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,506 Sing that shit, girl. 134 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,481 Them are not dimples. Them are potholes in her ass. 135 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,884 Look like an Escalade in a wedding dress. 136 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,593 It a horror show. 137 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,994 Norbit. What a woman you got. 138 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,032 - Hi, fellows. - We're all jealous, right, boys? 139 00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:04,625 - Oh, yeah. Way jealous. - Wish I had one like that. 140 00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,672 Norbit, let me talk to you for a second. 141 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,134 Look, just so we clear. 142 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:16,680 If you ever hurt my sister in any way, 143 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:21,515 make her cry, even make her sad one time, 144 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:26,249 I'm coming at you with razor blades and lemon juice. 145 00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,455 - You hear me? - Yes. 146 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,620 I'm talking pain, boy. 147 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,893 Searing, mind-numbing pain. 148 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,467 I understand. 149 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,763 - You understand me? - Yes, yes, yes. 150 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,167 All right. 151 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,604 - Welcome to the family. - Thank you. 152 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,707 Somebody is take a big hunk out of my cake! 153 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,584 What y'all looking at? I ain't had no cake. 154 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,285 You better mind your damn business. 155 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:10,631 Hey, hey! Everyone! 156 00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,364 I am Mr. Wong. I am best man in wedding. 157 00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:18,842 I feel it my place to say something, make a toast to bride and groom, 158 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,845 tell story about Norbit. I like Norbit father. 159 00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,575 I raise Norbit. He like my own child. 160 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,085 And I want to say that I very, very confused, Norbit, 161 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,485 that you... You marry Latimore. 162 00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:34,389 I don't understand it, because when you was a little boy, you say, 163 00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:39,829 "One day I find the girl of my dreams." And then you marry a gorilla. 164 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,559 I joke, I joke, I joke. 165 00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,603 Why you not know joke when you hear joke? 166 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,265 Why you wanna make fight at wedding? 167 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,743 Cool off, before I have to bust somebody ass in here. Okay. 168 00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,642 When Norbit just little boy, 169 00:11:55,748 --> 00:12:01,050 he like to always run all over place naked. Always naked. 170 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:05,818 And Norbit, when he was just little boy, had a pee-pee the size of an egg roll. 171 00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:10,189 - You know, Norbit. - That's true. 172 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:14,093 And one day, down by creek, Norbit run around naked 173 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,102 and poisonous snake jump up and bite Norbit right on ass. 174 00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,940 Very close to hole. 175 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,068 Norbit pass out. I think Norbit is dead. 176 00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:31,309 I go to check the boy pulse. He still alive. He still alive! 177 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:35,080 "Okay," I say, "I must do something to save child." 178 00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:37,212 So, I start to think, 179 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:43,284 "Do I suck poison out of Norbit's ass or do I let him die?" 180 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,858 I do the most responsible thing. 181 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,959 I say, "Hell to the no! 182 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,971 "Norbit is out of here, 183 00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,973 "because it is long time in hell 184 00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:59,442 "before Wong suck poison out of another man's ass." 185 00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,415 But strange, mystical thing happen, Norbit. 186 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,613 Even though poison is in Norbit, he not die. 187 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:13,180 Norbit get stronger and stronger. 188 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:17,695 That why I know, Norbit, deep down inside, you very, very strong. 189 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,890 You strong like warrior. 190 00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:23,230 That's why I say to you, Norbit, you can survive anything. 191 00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:24,899 Even... 192 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,002 So I say to everyone here, and to Norbit, 193 00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:34,739 I wish you much happiness and peace and love, 194 00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:39,477 and lots of bananas for your new gorilla. 195 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,520 I only kidding. To Norbit and Rasputia. 196 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,086 Norbit, you know what would be so romantic? 197 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:50,253 If you'd carry me over the threshold like a little chocolate drop. 198 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,396 Be delicate, now. 199 00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,937 Put your back into it. 200 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:06,473 Come on, now. Be a man. You ain't no man. 201 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:08,610 Pathetic. 202 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:16,186 Rasputia, I know we're both nervous because we've never done this before, 203 00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:19,815 but we can take our time, darling. In sweet time. 204 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:29,499 Rasputia was so full of love. 205 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,502 Merry Christmas! 206 00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,404 Ho, ho, ho! 207 00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:40,034 It was a love that sustained us through the years. 208 00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:41,237 Halt! 209 00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,843 187. Officer down. 210 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,147 And it's still going strong. 211 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,647 Happy Presidents' Day! 212 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,490 God bless America. 213 00:14:57,796 --> 00:15:02,631 And so, we began our life together, like any other happily married couple. 214 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,462 Morning, Rasputia. 215 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,060 "Morning, Rasputia," my ass. 216 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,298 I tell you what. You better do something about that goddamn dog, 217 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,567 because I ain't gonna be getting terrorized 218 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,972 by no dog on my own property. 219 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,271 I'm sick of it! I'm gonna go out and purchase me a pellet rifle! 220 00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,846 And then I'm gonna give him something to bark about 221 00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:18,508 when I start popping pellets in his little bug-eyed bastard's ass. 222 00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:23,076 Messing around with you, now I'm gonna be late for dance class. 223 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,353 God damn it, Norbit. 224 00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:33,454 How many times I got to tell you, when you drive my car, don't adjust my seat! 225 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,966 - I haven't touched your seat. - Then why is it up so damn far? 226 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:40,266 It looks like it's back as far as it goes, Rasputia. 227 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,905 No, you moved it. I can tell, 'cause look, 228 00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,942 when I inhale, my titty make the horn honk. Listen. 229 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,306 You see that? 230 00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:50,145 - That ain't right. - I hear it. 231 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:53,343 That scientifically prove that you was adjusting my seat. 232 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,545 - That's not science. - It is. Now just let it go. 233 00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:58,054 - It's not science. - I said let it go. 234 00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,853 - I'm just... - I said it was science, God damn it. 235 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:10,357 Why you think I want to sell Golden Wonton Restaurant? 236 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,663 I got a good business. 237 00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,295 It practically run itself. I make a lot of money here. 238 00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:20,675 Every man got a price. We think this might be yours. 239 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,930 And here is my counteroffer. 240 00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,001 - Excuse me. - All right, it's go time. 241 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,876 I not like rest of town people. I not intimidated by Latimore. 242 00:16:56,982 --> 00:17:00,782 - You wrong, Wong. Relax, man. - Be cool with that thing, Mr. Wong. 243 00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,581 Ling Ling, get my pistol! 244 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,748 That dude is crazy. Let's get the hell out of here! 245 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,419 I never sell to Latimore! Ever! Ever! 246 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,463 All right! Y'all ready, class? Are y'all ready? 247 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:19,162 We gonna perforate! We gonna penetrate! 248 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:20,802 We gonna percolate! 249 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,671 We gonna palpitate! 250 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:28,039 All because we wanna master the bate, the art of power-tap the fat. 251 00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,383 Come on, and power-tap the fat. Take that, power-tap the fat. 252 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,314 Hey, you get your skinny ass out of my way. 253 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,149 One, two, three, four. I stepped in poo, better wipe it off. 254 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,383 One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. 255 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:43,154 I stepped in poo, better wipe it off. One, two, three, four. 256 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,288 Ride the horse. Ride the horse! 257 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:51,465 Keep bucking, y'all! Keep bucking! And slide! 258 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:55,768 Click clackety clack! Come on, slide! Click clackety clack! Just slide! 259 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,275 Here come the cops. Here come the cops. 260 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,677 They take me to jail. They take me to jail. 261 00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:06,114 Riverdance. Come on, white people. Riverdance. Come on, white people. 262 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,947 Riverdance. Come on. 263 00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,918 Now, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump me up. 264 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,614 Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump me down. 265 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:17,252 And one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. 266 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,627 And stretch it out. Work your whole bicuspids area, 267 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:24,600 your whole bilaterals and bisexuals. Very good. 268 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,068 Excuse me, Buster? 269 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,798 I think I need a little adjustment over here. 270 00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:30,033 Look at you, looking like the Great Pumpkin, girl. 271 00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,939 Trick or treat. What's going on? 272 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,275 Well, see, I was born with a trick hip and it made me real bendy. 273 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,871 See, I'm just like licorice. Look. 274 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,309 Goddamn, girl, that look like the harvest moon. 275 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,651 - Turn a brother to a werewolf. - You just need to stop. 276 00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:48,021 You know what? Do you do any private lessons? 277 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:52,158 I could do private lessons if you could do me a little favor. 278 00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,322 What's that? 279 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:58,062 Just need you talk to your little brothers about funding my little video tape. 280 00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,933 I'm trying to make power-tap more international. 281 00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:01,596 I'm trying to be like Billy Blanks, 282 00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,299 but double the money and half the Blank. 283 00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:05,103 That's a good idea. 284 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:09,340 Maybe I will, maybe I will. But, first, I got to get that private lesson. 285 00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,541 Okay. Call me, girl. 286 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,619 - I'll call you. - I'll be your private dancer. 287 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,287 - Must be Saturday. - Why is that? 288 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,186 Because here come Norbit, right on schedule. 289 00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,190 Almost set your watch to him. 290 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,661 Hey, Pope Sweet Jesus and Lord Have Mercy. 291 00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:31,963 How you guys doing, fellows? 292 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,094 Business is good. 293 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,730 Business is good. It's almost like the good old days. 294 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:36,808 Yes, indeedy. 295 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,171 What do you mean, "the good old days"? 296 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,837 The good old days, man, back when we was pimping, Norbit. 297 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:41,935 You know. 298 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,342 - You guys used to pimp? - "Used to"? 299 00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,747 That's a violation. Still pimping. Once a pimp, always a pimp. 300 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,013 - Always. Forever. - Boss player. 301 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,322 Rasputia sent me down here to get the usual. 302 00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:52,447 You guys are open, right? 303 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,582 We always open. Go on and take yourself in there, Norbit. 304 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,887 We'll stack that up for you. 305 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,993 - Moniqua! - Yes, Daddy. 306 00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:04,557 Can you get King Kong three large buckets, extra sauce? 307 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,160 - Please don't trim the fat. - Yes, Daddy. 308 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,466 Please don't trim that fat. She will kill me. 309 00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,098 Norbit, while I got your attention, 310 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,440 can I interest you in some new shoes, maybe a haircut? 311 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,513 How about a bath or a sink? 312 00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,276 Hey, don't tell me you guys bought the bath store, too? 313 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,715 It's a perfect fit, man. We used to sell bitches to johns. 314 00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,287 Now we selling johns to bitches. 315 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,585 - Beds, bitches, and beyond! - Sound like money to me. 316 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,716 No, thanks, guys. 317 00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:30,021 I got to go do a puppet show for the kids at the orphanage. 318 00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,095 At the orphanage? 319 00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:33,460 That's a nice thing you do for them little kids over there. 320 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,089 Why don't you take these little tater puffs 321 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,462 over there to them little children? 322 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,332 Oh, that's great, guys. That's sweet. 323 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,100 Wait, my puppets! I forgot my puppets! 324 00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,674 I got to go. I got to go, guys. 325 00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,640 - Where's his puppets? - He ain't got no puppets. 326 00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,380 What's Rasputia doing home so early? 327 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,553 'Sputia? 328 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,052 Oh, yeah, girl. 329 00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,754 Come on, girl, that's sweet chocolate! 330 00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:08,492 Okay, you in trouble, now. You in trouble. You in trouble, now. 331 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,865 I'm Willy Wonka. Get up on that Oompa Loompa. 332 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,310 That's sweet. Oh, yeah. Take all that, girl. 333 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,107 Take it with your big old self, girl. You ain't never had it like this. 334 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,444 You ain't never had it like this! 335 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,278 Hell, yeah. Come on, we gonna do pig in a blanket. 336 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,750 Come on, pig in a blanket. 337 00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,481 - Now squeal. Squeal! Squeal! - Oink, oink, oink! 338 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:31,647 Take it from the back. 339 00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:35,488 Damn, I feel like Willy Wonka, all this sweet chocolate up in this... 340 00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:42,056 Hey. How you doing, man? What's good with you, brother? 341 00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,294 How's it going, man? How you doing? 342 00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:46,428 I'm Bust-a-move Perkin. How you doing? 343 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,130 Man, your wife was just talking about you. 344 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,935 Man, she love you. 345 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:55,207 - You're Rasputia's tap dance teacher. - Man, actually, I'm her power-tap guru. 346 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,942 I was just here giving her a little tap lesson. 347 00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,745 But you're naked. 348 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,384 That's just so she could see the various muscle groups 349 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:03,818 as I go through the various routines. 350 00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:07,517 You see that there? You can't see that with a turtleneck. 351 00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,651 And you have an... 352 00:22:10,762 --> 00:22:13,822 Oh, man, I'm just real passionate about dance. 353 00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:16,594 You can say the word "dance" and he just jump up. Dance! 354 00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,431 See that? See that there? 355 00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:19,796 'Sputia? 356 00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:21,896 Norbit, Buster's a guest in our home. 357 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,668 How dare you insinuate something like that? 358 00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:25,333 Yeah, Orbit! 359 00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,709 How dare you insinuate something such like that! 360 00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:33,547 You know, I am actually offended by your accusization, you understand? 361 00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:37,019 And rather than sit here and have a belligerent confrontation with you, 362 00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,590 'cause I am a God-fearing man, 363 00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:44,060 I'm 'a do like Jesus H. Christ would do in a situation such as such 364 00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:46,960 and I'm gonna turn the other cheek. 365 00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:48,362 Amen. 366 00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:54,995 You happy now? 367 00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,075 Rasputia, you cheated on me! 368 00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,802 Look, I told your ass ain't nothing happened, 369 00:22:58,910 --> 00:22:59,968 and the next time you say it happened again, 370 00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:02,512 I'm gonna knock your teeth out your mouth. 371 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,675 Rasputia, we took vows. I'm your husband. 372 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:10,182 Rasputia, we took vows, and you cheated on me! 373 00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,387 It never happened! 374 00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,551 Yes, it did! 375 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:19,721 And that makes you the queen of whores! 376 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,670 Hey, Norbit! 377 00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:35,737 Run for your lives! 378 00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,112 Bastard! Come here! 379 00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:45,019 Oh, sweet Moses! Oh, my God! 380 00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:47,489 Come here! Come here! Come here to me! 381 00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:48,752 No! Leave me alone! 382 00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,487 You ain't nothing but a goddamn coward! 383 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,960 Saddle tramp! 384 00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:00,067 That's what your stupid black ass get! 385 00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:02,265 I hope you broke your ass! 386 00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,533 Since you feel like running, Norbit, 387 00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,477 why don't you run your ass down to the Rib Shak 388 00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,982 and get me a short stack of ribs? 389 00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:11,812 And get me a short stack of ribs? 390 00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,477 Extra hot sauce. 391 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,987 All this setting you straight done got me famished. 392 00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:27,990 I'm Little Red Riding Goose, 393 00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:30,727 walking through the forest, minding my own business, 394 00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:32,701 when all at once... 395 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:33,930 Hello. 396 00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:37,702 - Who are you? - I'm the big, bad pig of the forest. 397 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,573 My, what big eyes you have, Pig. 398 00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:42,670 The better to see you with, Goose. 399 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:46,046 And my, what a big nose you have, Pig. 400 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:49,780 The better to smell them scrumptious goodies you got in your basket. 401 00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:52,516 Hey, let me take a look in there. 402 00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:56,788 Oh, no, you don't. You're gonna try to steal my food. 403 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,328 No, I won't steal your food. 404 00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:01,228 Don't let that pig push you around, Goose. 405 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,461 Yeah, I'm tired of you pushing me around. 406 00:25:04,569 --> 00:25:06,628 Look, I'm tired of playing with your ass, bitch. 407 00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,330 I know you got ribs in that basket. 408 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,805 You better give them up smooth 409 00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:12,342 or I'm gonna break my hoof off in your goose ass. 410 00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:15,208 Oh, really? Well, why don't you get up off of your lazy behind 411 00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:17,440 and go down to the Rib Shak and get your own ribs? 412 00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:20,177 Or better still, why don't you just call Buster 413 00:25:20,285 --> 00:25:22,378 and tell him to come over and power-tap you, 414 00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:24,614 because in addition to being the pig of the forest, 415 00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:27,521 you're also a saddle tramp, whore, bitch pig... 416 00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:31,756 Norbit! What you doing? This supposed to be a children's show. 417 00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:35,890 This remind me of Chinese snuff film I once co-star in. 418 00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:39,437 I'm sorry. I got a little carried away. 419 00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:42,607 Wow, Norbit, that was some puppet show. 420 00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:48,176 Oh, come on. You don't remember me? 421 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,408 - Kate. Kate. - Come here! 422 00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:56,976 Kate! Kate! Oh, God! I can't believe it! Kate! 423 00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,348 Well, can I have a hug? 424 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,717 Norbit. 425 00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,491 It just like old times. 426 00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:10,295 Maybe you two go take poop together. 427 00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:19,103 This place has not changed at all. 428 00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:22,976 Oh, yeah. Some of this furniture's even come back in style. 429 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,345 So, how long are you gonna be visiting for? 430 00:26:25,450 --> 00:26:27,680 No, I'm not visiting. I'm moving back. 431 00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:30,619 Really? Wow. 432 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,418 I sold my clothing business in Atlanta, 433 00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:36,722 and I'm going to use the money to buy the orphanage. 434 00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:38,261 What? 435 00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:43,334 Mr. Wong's getting older. He wants to go whaling, so... 436 00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:47,829 You know, it's always been my dream to come back here and take over. 437 00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:49,937 That's great. 438 00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:53,110 Norbit, look. 439 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,676 That's the tree we got married under. 440 00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:02,443 You know, I've still got my ring. 441 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,218 I ate mine. 442 00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:09,485 I missed you so much when you left. 443 00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:12,592 I missed you, too. 444 00:27:15,066 --> 00:27:16,658 That's my car. 445 00:27:17,736 --> 00:27:20,967 We didn't really get a chance to catch up much. 446 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,508 I'll be back in town on Tuesday. You wanna have lunch? 447 00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,638 Yeah, I would love to have lunch on Tuesday. 448 00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:29,975 - I love lunch. - Okay. 449 00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:33,812 Lunch, yes. For sure. I love lunch. Tuesday. 450 00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:35,343 I'll see you Tuesday. 451 00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:39,048 I'll see you on Tuesday. We'll have lunch on Tuesday. 452 00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,549 Tuesday. 453 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,689 Tuesday. Tuesday. 454 00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:48,459 Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. 455 00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:52,499 Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday... 456 00:27:52,604 --> 00:27:56,404 Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday... 457 00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:04,238 Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. 458 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:07,512 Tuesday, Tuesday... 459 00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:11,555 Say "Tuesday" again and you ain't gonna see Wednesday! 460 00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,783 I got it. I'll get it. Tuesday. 461 00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:17,223 Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. 462 00:28:18,163 --> 00:28:19,960 - Buster. How you doing? You look great. - Hey. 463 00:28:20,065 --> 00:28:22,226 - Oh, thank you, man. - Good to see you. Good to see you. 464 00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,324 Thank you. I thought you were gonna be at work. 465 00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:25,698 Yeah, I'm on my way out now. 466 00:28:25,804 --> 00:28:27,965 But hey, look, there's cold beer in the refrigerator 467 00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,200 and there's fresh sheets on the bed. Go have a great dance lesson. 468 00:28:30,308 --> 00:28:31,468 - All right. - All right. 469 00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:32,804 Power-tap. 470 00:28:32,911 --> 00:28:35,709 Very good, very good. 471 00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,183 Tuesday. 472 00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,878 What's wrong with your boy? He real cool all of a sudden. 473 00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:48,823 Yeah, I don't know what the hell got into him, but I know I got dance fever. 474 00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:51,395 Ready for a little power-tap, huh? 475 00:28:52,831 --> 00:28:54,628 Lord, give me strength. 476 00:28:55,366 --> 00:28:56,958 Hey, Sam, happy Tuesday. 477 00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,228 Norbit. 478 00:28:58,336 --> 00:28:59,462 Norbit. 479 00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:02,438 - Hey, Kate. Hi. - Come on, I got us a table. 480 00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:04,235 Great. I've been looking forward to this all week. 481 00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:05,809 Good. 482 00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,537 Hey. 483 00:29:08,179 --> 00:29:09,237 Hey. Who's he? 484 00:29:09,347 --> 00:29:11,406 Norbit, this is my fiancé, Deion Hughes. 485 00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,508 How you doing, my man? Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. 486 00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:16,746 - This is your fiancé? - Yes, sir. 487 00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:19,688 I was just telling Deion that you and I were buddy partners at the orphanage. 488 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,725 Now she and I are buddy partners. 489 00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:25,762 Shame on you, man, letting a girl go like this. I feel for you. 490 00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:28,332 And so Deion's got all this experience in real estate, 491 00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:31,368 so he's going to help me buy the orphanage, Norbit. It's so exciting! 492 00:29:31,469 --> 00:29:33,198 No, wait, wait. No, no. Slow down, slow down. 493 00:29:33,304 --> 00:29:35,966 I mean, you know, we're just out here just scouting it out. 494 00:29:36,074 --> 00:29:38,133 All right? This is her nest egg, you know. 495 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,904 I don't want her making any hasty decisions 496 00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:41,808 that she might regret later, you know? 497 00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:44,438 She worked too hard for this money, man, you know what I mean? 498 00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:47,074 Deion, you take such good care of me, baby. 499 00:29:47,185 --> 00:29:49,847 It's my job. Stop it. 500 00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:51,987 Okay? 501 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:59,286 Don't you just love Tuesdays? 502 00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:08,362 Lloyd, just tell me why it has to hurt so GD much. 503 00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,401 What's the matter, boy? 504 00:30:14,512 --> 00:30:18,573 You sensing an earthquake or some other sort of natural disaster? 505 00:30:24,055 --> 00:30:25,886 That's just my... 506 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:27,821 My wife. 507 00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:40,230 A man needs his own space. 508 00:30:49,948 --> 00:30:53,611 Finally! For the love of Cain. 509 00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,058 Moses! 510 00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:05,328 I'll see you suckers tomorrow at the picnic! 511 00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:22,479 Damn it, Norbit! How many times I got to tell you, 512 00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:23,911 don't be messing with my car seat! 513 00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:25,880 Nobody touched your old, stupid seat. 514 00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:29,351 Then how come it's all mushed up like this, then? 515 00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:31,422 Well, you know, Rasputia, you've been eating so much lately 516 00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:36,118 there's a very strong possibility that... The car is shrinking. 517 00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:39,219 Might be shrinking. The car is being smaller. 518 00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:44,029 Yeah, you might be right. Been raining a lot lately. All this moist weather. 519 00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:47,662 - Oh, yeah? That'll make it shrink. - This weather's so moist. 520 00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,706 How you doing? 521 00:32:00,118 --> 00:32:03,485 Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me 522 00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:06,386 Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me 523 00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:08,188 Don't cha 524 00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:12,329 Look at that dog over there, eyeballing me. 525 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,126 Rasputia, what are you doing? 526 00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:16,495 Shut up! 527 00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:20,799 - Hey, slow down! You're gonna hit him! - I got you now. I got you now! 528 00:32:23,741 --> 00:32:25,800 - Stop it! No! - I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you. 529 00:32:25,910 --> 00:32:29,073 Rasputia, don't! No! No! No! 530 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,387 I know what that sound means! 531 00:32:37,488 --> 00:32:39,718 Bark! How you doing! 532 00:32:39,824 --> 00:32:41,018 Lloyd! 533 00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:44,220 Enough is enough. 534 00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:47,355 Now, where in the hell do you think you're going? 535 00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,326 Lloyd's in the hospital because of you! 536 00:32:49,434 --> 00:32:51,459 Yeah, that's right. I put his little dog ass in the hospital. 537 00:32:51,569 --> 00:32:54,163 And I'd have put it in the morgue, too, if you didn't mess with my car seat. 538 00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:55,671 It threw off my driving skills. 539 00:32:55,773 --> 00:33:02,303 Rasputia, you are a mean, selfish, cold, heartless woman, and I am leaving you! 540 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,505 - You leaving me? - Yes! 541 00:33:05,283 --> 00:33:07,012 Well, where the hell you think you're going, big shot? 542 00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:08,847 You ain't got no money. You ain't got no family. 543 00:33:08,953 --> 00:33:10,545 Everything is in my name, the car, the house... 544 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,146 You ain't nothing and you ain't gonna never be nothing without me, Norbit! 545 00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,193 Norbit, you just can't leave! Norbit, please, I'm with child! 546 00:33:19,630 --> 00:33:21,257 With child? 547 00:33:21,366 --> 00:33:25,803 Oh, yes, Norbit, can't you tell? I'm getting a little belly. 548 00:33:26,871 --> 00:33:29,897 And my titties is all achy and itchy-like. 549 00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:33,340 Oh, Norbit, we gonna be a family. 550 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:40,178 Oh, Norbit, come hug me, Daddy, please. 551 00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:44,919 Please, Norbit. 552 00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:05,867 I understand, little pony. 553 00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:08,669 I know your pain. 554 00:34:10,014 --> 00:34:11,914 Oh, yes, I know. 555 00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:16,076 Excuse me, snow bunny. 556 00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:19,588 I don't come in your jurisdiction, throwing town picnics. 557 00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:23,626 Yet here you is all up in mines, pimping hos. 558 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:25,360 It's just a kissing booth. 559 00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:29,194 Call it what you will, but Pope Sweet Jesus 560 00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,961 is taking half. 561 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,564 You work for me now, ho. 562 00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:36,929 Sure. 563 00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,440 Let me taste the goods. 564 00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:39,976 Put it on me. 565 00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:42,974 - Greasy. - Greasy. 566 00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,912 We back in business. 567 00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:50,345 I wanna be a ho. How do I apply? 568 00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:54,684 Please, Lord Jesus, help me! Look, look, tickets! Hey, tickets, tickets. 569 00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:56,384 - Let me go! Let me go! - Line up with your buddy. 570 00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:57,654 Line up with your buddy. 571 00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,195 - You got one, sweetie. - Can we go on the jumper? 572 00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:00,286 Yeah, yeah, you go. 573 00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:03,367 Baby, you know I love you. I love these kids. 574 00:35:03,468 --> 00:35:05,493 It's just that I don't think buying an orphanage 575 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,697 is the right move financially right now. That's all. 576 00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:10,865 Hey, this is not a financial decision, Deion. 577 00:35:10,975 --> 00:35:13,341 - I thought you understood that, baby. - No. No, I do. I do, baby. 578 00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:16,174 But this the call I was telling you... The business call, it's very important. 579 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,145 Let's talk about it when I get back to the house, okay? 580 00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:19,477 You're not going to stay? 581 00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:21,916 No, very important. Here. 582 00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:27,052 Hello? It's never a bad time for you. 583 00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:30,683 Stop it! Stop! 584 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:32,092 Norbit! 585 00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:34,293 - Hey. - Hi. 586 00:35:36,033 --> 00:35:37,000 Hey. 587 00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:39,797 - I didn't know you were gonna be here. - Oh, yeah. 588 00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:42,236 Hey, you know, I just saw Deion leaving. 589 00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:45,641 He had some business to take care of. 590 00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,771 So, who are you here with? 591 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,038 My wife. 592 00:35:54,385 --> 00:35:58,082 - Norbit, I didn't know you were married. - Yeah. 593 00:35:58,189 --> 00:36:02,216 - Well, that's wonderful. Really. - Thank you so much. 594 00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,987 So, where is she? 595 00:36:05,763 --> 00:36:08,163 Right over there in the print outfit. 596 00:36:08,266 --> 00:36:11,201 The one talking to the girl by the bench? 597 00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:15,033 No, the one sucking the jelly out of them donuts. 598 00:36:18,876 --> 00:36:21,811 Oh, yeah. She's pretty. 599 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:24,944 That's cherry. Is that cherry or strawberry? 600 00:36:25,049 --> 00:36:27,574 What are my kids doing? Peter! Theo! 601 00:36:27,685 --> 00:36:30,051 I don't want you bothering anyone. 602 00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:32,890 I'm so sorry, Mrs. Rice. 603 00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:35,185 Mrs. Rice? My name ain't no damn Mrs. Rice. 604 00:36:35,293 --> 00:36:37,693 Oh, I just thought 'cause you're married to Norbit... 605 00:36:37,795 --> 00:36:38,921 Who the hell are you? 606 00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:42,090 Kate, this is my wife, Rasputia Latimore, 607 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,599 and, Rasputia, this is Kate. 608 00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:46,398 - Nice to meet you. - Hello. 609 00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:48,734 Kate's an old friend of mine from the orphanage. 610 00:36:48,839 --> 00:36:51,569 Latimore, as in Latimore Construction? 611 00:36:51,676 --> 00:36:53,507 Yes, that's right, as in Latimore Construction. 612 00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:54,873 That's right. Why? 613 00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:56,344 Well, just that this is perfect, 614 00:36:56,447 --> 00:36:59,939 'cause I was going to come see you guys about a renovation of... 615 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,651 I ain't come out here for that. 616 00:37:01,752 --> 00:37:04,084 I'm out here to enjoy these festivities, not to be talking no business. 617 00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:05,678 You wanna talk business, my brother is Big Black Jack 618 00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:06,757 over there by the BB guns. 619 00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:08,586 Go over there and talk to him. I ain't got no time for this. 620 00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:10,456 Oh, sure, okay. 621 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,290 Well, go on, get. 622 00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:15,126 - Okay. - Okay. 623 00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:22,166 - Come here. - What, Rasputia? 624 00:37:22,273 --> 00:37:24,741 You thinking about creeping, ain't you? 625 00:37:24,842 --> 00:37:25,934 We're just friends. 626 00:37:26,043 --> 00:37:28,739 What'd I tell you about having friends? 627 00:37:28,846 --> 00:37:30,370 Go over there and get me another wine cooler. 628 00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,745 It's hot as hell out here. Don't you see I'm sweltering? 629 00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:36,445 - Rasputia, you can't drink wine. - Why the hell not? 630 00:37:37,788 --> 00:37:41,224 - You're with child. - With child? I ain't with no... 631 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,328 Oh, that was... I had gas. I still got it. 632 00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:51,557 There's your child. Now, go get me something to drink. 633 00:37:59,977 --> 00:38:01,308 Twins! 634 00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:03,673 Hey! You come back here! 635 00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,811 - Oh, my God! - Move your fat ass, boy. 636 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,150 Look, you got one! 637 00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:15,692 Get him. Get him, Big Black. 638 00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:19,829 Are you Big Black Jack? 639 00:38:20,197 --> 00:38:21,824 What it look like? 640 00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:24,298 Oh, well. 641 00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:27,530 Me and my fiancé are buying the Golden Wonton... 642 00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:30,971 Wong's place? He's selling it to you? 643 00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,600 Yeah. Why is that surprising? 644 00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:35,872 Miss Thomas, Miss Thomas, let's go. They're starting the music. 645 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,447 - Oh, great! - Come on. Let's go. 646 00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:40,039 Can we finish this up later? Apparently I have to go dance now. 647 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,642 All right, baby. You go dance now. 648 00:38:43,921 --> 00:38:46,287 The orphanage is in play. 649 00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,121 Y'all better give me my hat. Give me the hat! 650 00:38:52,229 --> 00:38:53,662 Here, take her hat. 651 00:38:53,864 --> 00:38:57,493 You think I won't come up in here? I'm gonna come up in here. 652 00:39:06,744 --> 00:39:07,733 You think I'm playing? 653 00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:09,574 Give me the hat right now, or I'm gonna tear your leg off. 654 00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:12,409 Hey, Norbit, come on! 655 00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,485 Oh, no. No, I can't. Rasputia's waiting for me. 656 00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:17,918 - Come on, dance with us. - No, really, I shouldn't... 657 00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:21,617 Don't think I won't kill a child. I'll kill a child in front of everybody. 658 00:39:21,726 --> 00:39:23,626 Little street urchins. 659 00:39:25,629 --> 00:39:29,087 Okay. That's it. Now it's time to bring the pain. 660 00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:38,664 Dance, Norbit, dance! Come on! 661 00:39:43,447 --> 00:39:44,573 My hat! 662 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,878 It's raining little white women. 663 00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:52,888 My prayers have been answered! 664 00:39:52,990 --> 00:39:56,050 She'd better move, 'cause my prayer is for a Cadillac. 665 00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:08,534 You little bastards. 666 00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:14,540 Where the hell is Norbit with that wine cooler? 667 00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,442 I'm thirsty as hell. 668 00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:27,446 Oh, hell, no. 669 00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,119 Oh, he's lost his mind. 670 00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,221 Bitch, that's my wine cooler! 671 00:40:35,332 --> 00:40:38,529 It's my birthday! It's my birthday! 672 00:40:38,636 --> 00:40:40,831 It's your birthday? You think it's your birthday, huh? 673 00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:43,372 Norbit's got moves, everybody! Yeah! 674 00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:45,873 You got him loose, don't you, you little skinny bitch? 675 00:40:45,976 --> 00:40:49,139 I see what you trying to do. I see just what you trying to do. 676 00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:53,012 Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Come on, everybody! 677 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,106 Go, Norbit! 678 00:40:54,218 --> 00:40:57,085 Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! 679 00:40:57,188 --> 00:40:59,122 Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! 680 00:40:59,223 --> 00:41:01,987 Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go... 681 00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:03,150 Norbit! 682 00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:13,535 Crooked employees? Unlicensed doctors? 683 00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:15,229 Lipstick on your husband’s collar? 684 00:41:15,339 --> 00:41:17,000 Find out who you're really dealing with. 685 00:41:17,107 --> 00:41:19,632 Send $29.95 to Background Checks by Mail, 686 00:41:19,743 --> 00:41:22,075 P.O. Box 119, Locust Falls. 687 00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:23,441 Hey, buddy partner. 688 00:41:23,547 --> 00:41:27,449 Hi, Kate. Hi, nice to see you. How you doing? 689 00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,614 I'm good, but how about you and your head? 690 00:41:30,721 --> 00:41:32,484 Oh, I'm doing better. 691 00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:37,084 The doctor said if it weren't for my hard Afro, it could have killed me. 692 00:41:41,665 --> 00:41:45,226 Are you sure you're okay, Norbit? That sounds kind of fast. 693 00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:49,602 Oh, well, they're doing some tests. They're kind of monitoring me. 694 00:41:51,575 --> 00:41:54,203 Well, I don't know about this stuff, but 110 beats per minute, 695 00:41:54,311 --> 00:41:57,280 that's kind of high. 120... 696 00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,808 Oh, my goodness, 130! 697 00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:03,353 Yeah, maybe the machine's broke. I'm just gonna take these off. 698 00:42:15,733 --> 00:42:16,791 You Deion Hughes? 699 00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:18,266 Who's asking? 700 00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:20,359 We the Latimores. 701 00:42:20,471 --> 00:42:22,632 Yeah. Latimore Construction. 702 00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,401 And we run this town. 703 00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:27,807 Your woman was telling us how y'all was planning on buying the orphanage. 704 00:42:27,912 --> 00:42:29,709 Kate has her plans and I have mine. 705 00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:32,247 Well, it looks like the only plans you got, my man, is leaving. 706 00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:34,180 I ain't sticking around raising no damn orphans. 707 00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:36,617 I got kids of my own I ain't even bringing up. 708 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,415 So, you was just hustling her? 709 00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:41,753 Break it to her gentle for me, would you? I'm out! 710 00:42:42,526 --> 00:42:45,893 Hold up, player. I think you missing the flow here. 711 00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,865 That orphanage she buying, that's a huge property, 712 00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:51,025 outside of town, zoned commercial. 713 00:42:51,135 --> 00:42:52,602 Even got a liquor license. 714 00:42:52,703 --> 00:42:54,136 Interesting. 715 00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,433 It's a perfect place for a titty bar. 716 00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:59,106 - Did you say "titty bar"? - Titties. 717 00:42:59,209 --> 00:43:00,642 We got it all worked out. 718 00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:03,304 We gonna call it Nipplopolis. 719 00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:04,979 Nipplopolis. 720 00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:07,575 Shit got a ring to it, don't it? 721 00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:10,515 We talking about overpriced, watered-down alcohol 722 00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:13,522 and fake tig old bitties in abundance. 723 00:43:13,724 --> 00:43:15,316 Ain't gonna be nothing but tax-free, 724 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,417 under-the-table, pure cash money. Big time! 725 00:43:17,528 --> 00:43:18,495 That's right. 726 00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:22,896 All you got to do is swing us the deal and we make you partner. 727 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,262 And what about Kate? 728 00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:27,895 If you marry her, it's as much yours as hers. 729 00:43:28,806 --> 00:43:33,436 Norbit, I really want you to be a part of the orphanage. 730 00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,808 The kids are crazy about you. 731 00:43:35,913 --> 00:43:37,938 - They're good kids. - Yeah. 732 00:43:38,048 --> 00:43:41,609 You know, I'm gonna take them bike riding tomorrow, down by the lake. 733 00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,653 Why don't you come? 734 00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:46,846 I don't know if I could go for a bike ride. 735 00:43:47,057 --> 00:43:50,083 I never... I didn't really know how, the... 736 00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:53,459 I can't ride a bike still. 737 00:43:54,164 --> 00:43:56,394 You never learned? What? 738 00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:58,525 Well, you left, you know, 739 00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:00,160 and there was nobody there to teach me. 740 00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:02,204 And Wong don't ride. 741 00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:05,766 Okay, we'll do something else. The water park. 742 00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,639 The kids have been begging me to take them there. 743 00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:09,440 Oh, I don't know about the water park. 744 00:44:09,546 --> 00:44:11,776 Come on, it's a Saturday. You don't have to work. 745 00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:15,283 Yeah, I know, but it's the park and it's watery, 746 00:44:15,386 --> 00:44:21,018 and there's a potential hell to pay if I were to be there maybe... 747 00:44:21,892 --> 00:44:24,520 Hey, what are you doing with those things, Kate? 748 00:44:24,628 --> 00:44:27,722 Well, I'm just going to have to shock you till you say yes. 749 00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:29,696 Hey, come on, Kate. Don't play with those. 750 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,462 - Those things are plugged in. It's hot. - Clear. 751 00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:34,935 No, no clear. No clear. Stop, Kate. Stop, Kate. 752 00:44:35,039 --> 00:44:36,734 Come on. Yes. 753 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,105 - Yes, yes, yes. - Yes, yes, yes, yes! Okay, stop. Nurse! 754 00:44:52,723 --> 00:44:57,524 Oh, my God, Deion. This is beautiful. I didn't even know you could cook. 755 00:44:57,728 --> 00:45:00,856 I just wanted to do something special for you, you know, from the heart. 756 00:45:00,964 --> 00:45:02,898 Well, I am feeling it. 757 00:45:04,902 --> 00:45:08,895 Let's do it. Let's get married, right away. I don't wanna wait. 758 00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:13,068 - Deion. - Church is free on Saturday. 759 00:45:15,212 --> 00:45:16,804 You're serious? 760 00:45:16,914 --> 00:45:20,042 - Baby, we belong together. - Yeah. 761 00:45:20,517 --> 00:45:23,384 - I want to. Saturday. - Yeah. Yes! 762 00:45:24,988 --> 00:45:28,219 - Thank you. - Oh, no, thank you. 763 00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:48,802 Norbit! 764 00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:51,813 Hi. Hey. Good morning, Rasputia. 765 00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:54,611 Good morning. How are you this morning? 766 00:45:54,718 --> 00:45:56,413 Where the hell you going? 767 00:45:58,422 --> 00:46:01,653 Nowhere special. I was just gonna go out to... 768 00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:05,195 - I was just going over to Raging Waters. - Raging Waters? 769 00:46:05,295 --> 00:46:09,322 Yes. It's this thing I got roped into, darling. 770 00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:12,925 You know, I was at this orphanage when I was raised, and... 771 00:46:13,036 --> 00:46:14,162 And the people from the orphanage 772 00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:16,296 and now they're taking other orphans to Raging Waters 773 00:46:16,406 --> 00:46:18,499 so they asked me to come and give back to the community, 774 00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,134 so I'm trying to, you know, do my part. 775 00:46:21,245 --> 00:46:24,009 Little Miss Skinny Bitch gonna be there? 776 00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,278 You mean Miss Ling Ling? 777 00:46:26,383 --> 00:46:28,476 You know damn well I ain't talking about no Miss Ling Ling. 778 00:46:28,585 --> 00:46:30,883 I'm talking about Miss Thing Thing from that picnic. 779 00:46:30,988 --> 00:46:32,478 Miss Thing Thing from the picnic? 780 00:46:32,589 --> 00:46:34,682 Who are you talking about, sweetheart? I don't even... 781 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:39,024 Wait, I think I remember now. A girl, she had the foreign name. 782 00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:46,697 - Something Russian. - Kate, bitch! 783 00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:49,932 Kate! Of course it's Kate. Yes, I don't know if Kate's gonna be there. 784 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,804 I hadn't even thought about it. It didn't even cross my mind. 785 00:46:52,910 --> 00:46:56,175 I wonder, will Kate be there? Damn good question. 786 00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,180 Well, I'm going. 787 00:46:58,282 --> 00:46:59,442 No! 788 00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:02,781 You don't like water parks, Rasputia. No. 789 00:47:02,886 --> 00:47:05,878 Who don't like water parks? I love them. They're just like amusement parks, 790 00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:08,116 except you ain't got to get off the ride to go to the bathroom. 791 00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:09,522 How you doing? 792 00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:13,453 Great. 793 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,895 There you go. Have fun. 794 00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:20,936 There you go, Brian. Nick, there's one for you. 795 00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:26,165 All right, kids, everybody please be nice to Mrs. Latimore, okay? 796 00:47:26,276 --> 00:47:28,676 - Okay. - Okay. 797 00:47:29,046 --> 00:47:32,880 Kate, I hope you don't mind. I asked Rasputia to join us. 798 00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:36,146 Of course not. I'm really glad you could come. 799 00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:40,052 Well, are we gonna stand around here all day or we gonna go inside? 800 00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:41,317 Excuse me. 801 00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:45,024 Excuse me, ma'am. 802 00:47:45,662 --> 00:47:46,993 What? 803 00:47:48,565 --> 00:47:50,624 Are you wearing bottoms? 804 00:47:50,734 --> 00:47:53,134 Of course I'm wearing bottoms! 805 00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:56,429 Okay. Come on in. 806 00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,599 How dare you? 807 00:48:04,214 --> 00:48:06,182 Oh, hell, no. 808 00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:16,952 How you doing! 809 00:48:22,366 --> 00:48:23,492 This ain't like no real beach, 810 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,569 'cause on a real beach you got people walking around with ice chests 811 00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:30,071 and you can get all kinds of treats like sandwiches and potato chips 812 00:48:30,173 --> 00:48:33,836 and Mentos and Skittles and all sorts of delectables. 813 00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:35,673 You can't get shit here! 814 00:48:35,779 --> 00:48:38,805 Well, you know, there's a concession stand. 815 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,213 You going? 816 00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:42,408 No, I already ate. 817 00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:44,714 Well, you could have fooled me. 818 00:48:44,821 --> 00:48:45,879 I'm sorry? 819 00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:49,015 I'm just trying to say you too damn skinny. Look at you. 820 00:48:49,126 --> 00:48:52,118 See, most men like a woman that got a little... Or a little... 821 00:48:52,229 --> 00:48:53,992 You ain't got nothing. You just skin and bones, 822 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,463 just sitting in that chair all bones and skin. 823 00:48:56,566 --> 00:48:58,124 I feel sorry for you. 824 00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:01,671 Well, I just feel that we're all made exactly the way we're supposed to be. 825 00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,137 Oh, no. Hell, no. I'm a Christian, 826 00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:06,698 and you ain't gonna sit there and blame God for how you look, okay? 827 00:49:06,810 --> 00:49:08,641 You the one that pushed that plate away. 828 00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:10,940 My Norbit is always telling me there's two kinds of women, 829 00:49:11,048 --> 00:49:13,676 big old good ones and good old big ones. 830 00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:15,273 Really? 831 00:49:15,385 --> 00:49:17,683 That's right. And, sister, let me tell you, just between the two of us, 832 00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,880 I can't keep Norbit off me. 833 00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:20,752 He is the biggest freak you ever wanna meet 834 00:49:20,857 --> 00:49:22,381 and he be blowing my back out, 835 00:49:22,492 --> 00:49:24,756 trying to put me through the headboard every night. 836 00:49:24,861 --> 00:49:26,453 I'm thinking about going on a little diet or something 837 00:49:26,563 --> 00:49:28,258 so I can get all emaciated-looking like you, 838 00:49:28,365 --> 00:49:29,696 then he'll think I look disgusting 839 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,768 and I can get a rest or some sleep for a little while, 840 00:49:31,868 --> 00:49:35,326 because he want it all the time. Just boom, bam, boom, boom, boom. 841 00:49:35,439 --> 00:49:37,873 But I ain't mad at him, hey. 842 00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,840 I'm gonna go on a diet for sure, next week. 843 00:49:39,943 --> 00:49:42,605 Right now I'm gonna get me a lamb kabob and a wine cooler. 844 00:49:42,713 --> 00:49:45,978 How you doing? Where is that wine cooler section? 845 00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:50,409 Miss Thomas, we're all going off the Leap of Doom. Come on. 846 00:49:50,587 --> 00:49:52,953 Slowly. Slowly. Someone's gonna fall down. 847 00:49:53,056 --> 00:49:55,684 You're gonna break your head in half in a second. Slow down! 848 00:49:55,792 --> 00:49:57,020 Wait for me! 849 00:49:57,127 --> 00:50:01,757 I tell you, it sure is tiring chasing these kids all around the water park, isn't it? 850 00:50:01,865 --> 00:50:04,163 Especially for us skinny folk. 851 00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:05,757 What? 852 00:50:05,869 --> 00:50:07,632 Never mind. 853 00:50:09,306 --> 00:50:12,469 So, Norbit, I have some news. 854 00:50:13,477 --> 00:50:16,105 Deion and I decided to move up the wedding. 855 00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:17,873 What wedding? 856 00:50:17,981 --> 00:50:19,608 Our wedding. 857 00:50:19,916 --> 00:50:22,680 We're going to get married on Saturday. 858 00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:25,912 You're getting married on Saturday? 859 00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:29,390 Yeah, we just figured, "Why wait?" You know? 860 00:50:33,497 --> 00:50:37,763 Well... Congratulations, then. 861 00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:39,492 Thanks. 862 00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:41,195 - Yeah. - I'm really happy. 863 00:50:41,304 --> 00:50:43,670 Oh, so am I. It's wonderful. 864 00:50:45,976 --> 00:50:48,171 So, there it is, the Leap of Doom. 865 00:50:48,278 --> 00:50:50,473 Yeah, go and have fun. I'll wait for you at the bottom. 866 00:50:50,580 --> 00:50:51,547 You go have some fun. 867 00:50:51,648 --> 00:50:53,309 - Okay. - Okay. 868 00:50:56,853 --> 00:50:59,185 Okay, kids, one at a time. 869 00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,724 I guess this is me. 870 00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:10,530 What are you looking at, Norbit? 871 00:51:11,368 --> 00:51:16,328 I was just watching the... Some kids. They're about to come down the slide. 872 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,772 I wanted to watch the kids come down safely. 873 00:51:19,042 --> 00:51:20,634 - Kids, huh? - Yeah. 874 00:51:20,977 --> 00:51:23,537 So, you wanna watch a bitch come down a slide? 875 00:51:23,647 --> 00:51:26,081 Well, I'm gonna show you how a bitch come down a slide. 876 00:51:26,183 --> 00:51:27,741 Oh, no... 877 00:51:33,957 --> 00:51:38,223 Excuse me, ma'am? We have a 300-pound weight limit. 878 00:51:42,132 --> 00:51:46,796 I don't weigh no damn 300 pounds. I weigh 165. How you doing? 879 00:51:48,738 --> 00:51:50,603 That was awesome. 880 00:51:55,545 --> 00:51:57,137 What's that? 881 00:52:00,584 --> 00:52:02,108 It's Rasputia. 882 00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:06,018 I'm gonna show you how a bitch go down a slide. 883 00:52:20,203 --> 00:52:22,103 I'm sliding, bitches! 884 00:52:27,244 --> 00:52:28,939 Mary, Mother of God. 885 00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:31,276 Slow down! Stop! Stop! 886 00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:50,356 How you doing? 887 00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:59,700 Why does she have to go and get married, Lloyd? 888 00:52:59,809 --> 00:53:01,800 Things were going so well. 889 00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:06,482 There it is. 890 00:53:07,884 --> 00:53:11,183 Hey. Sorry about the concussion. 891 00:53:12,222 --> 00:53:13,553 - It's okay. - And the whiplash. 892 00:53:13,657 --> 00:53:16,319 - It's okay. - And the bruised stomach. 893 00:53:17,127 --> 00:53:18,594 And the blood clot. 894 00:53:21,164 --> 00:53:22,529 Nothing. 895 00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:28,397 You know damn well that's your baby. 896 00:53:28,505 --> 00:53:32,532 You know it's yours. Got the same chin. The same lip. 897 00:53:32,642 --> 00:53:35,509 That baby got the same head as you and the same eye... 898 00:53:35,612 --> 00:53:37,978 Go take the test. Take the test. 899 00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:39,605 You want to hear the test results? 900 00:53:39,716 --> 00:53:41,183 In the case of the little baby... 901 00:53:41,284 --> 00:53:43,309 Well, the test says that is your baby. 902 00:53:43,420 --> 00:53:44,751 How you doing? 903 00:53:47,257 --> 00:53:49,122 Latimore Construction, Norbit speaking. 904 00:53:49,226 --> 00:53:50,818 Hey, Norbit, it's Kate. 905 00:53:50,927 --> 00:53:53,327 Is there any way you can meet me in town right now? 906 00:53:53,430 --> 00:53:54,590 Yeah, sure. 907 00:53:54,731 --> 00:53:56,028 Great. I'm at McCormick's. 908 00:53:56,132 --> 00:53:57,759 Okay. Fine. 909 00:54:03,607 --> 00:54:07,441 Rasputia, I'm just loaded up with paperwork up to my ear. 910 00:54:07,544 --> 00:54:10,707 I was wondering, could you run these permits downtown for me? 911 00:54:10,814 --> 00:54:13,044 Now you tell me what in the hell I look like, 912 00:54:13,149 --> 00:54:16,414 running some goddamn permits down to City Hall for your ass. 913 00:54:16,519 --> 00:54:17,916 You do it. 914 00:54:18,755 --> 00:54:19,915 Okay. 915 00:54:21,324 --> 00:54:23,189 - What's the surprise? - No, I'm not telling you. 916 00:54:23,293 --> 00:54:25,921 Tell me. Hey, no, what are you doing? 917 00:54:26,029 --> 00:54:27,724 - Not till the last second. - What? What? 918 00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:30,425 - You ready? - Yeah, what is it? 919 00:54:31,801 --> 00:54:33,962 I know you don't think I'm gonna get on that thing. 920 00:54:34,070 --> 00:54:36,300 - I think you're gonna get on that. - Hey, no way. Hey. 921 00:54:36,406 --> 00:54:39,102 Come on! Look where you wanna go. You're doing great. 922 00:54:39,209 --> 00:54:43,009 You got it? You got it? You got it? 923 00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,206 Watch out for the fence! 924 00:54:47,350 --> 00:54:48,681 And the mailbox. 925 00:54:50,353 --> 00:54:53,379 Rasputia, the painters from the Crestview site got food poisoning. 926 00:54:53,490 --> 00:54:55,390 There's vomit everywhere! 927 00:54:55,492 --> 00:54:58,290 You know damn well you clean up all the vomit. You do it! 928 00:54:58,395 --> 00:55:01,421 - I don't feel safe. - Yeah! You're doing great! 929 00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:05,762 Yeah. 930 00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:11,532 The Portosans at Drummond's tipped over! 931 00:55:11,641 --> 00:55:13,541 Well, go clean the shit up! 932 00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:26,520 Rasputia? 933 00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:42,402 You do it! 934 00:55:43,873 --> 00:55:45,534 - I got it! - Go! 935 00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:48,770 I'm getting it! I'm doing it! 936 00:55:48,878 --> 00:55:50,277 You're doing it! Yeah, but slow down! 937 00:55:50,380 --> 00:55:53,372 - How? - With the brakes! The brakes! 938 00:55:58,888 --> 00:56:00,378 Oh, no. Are you okay? 939 00:56:00,490 --> 00:56:03,584 Yeah. Actually, that was kind of fun. 940 00:56:04,961 --> 00:56:07,623 - Come on. - Okay, help me. 941 00:56:07,731 --> 00:56:09,858 - Okay? - Yeah, yeah. 942 00:56:12,702 --> 00:56:16,536 So, I'm going to Giovanni's tonight to choose the food for the reception. 943 00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:19,608 You wanna come? Help me decide? 944 00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:21,506 What about Deion? 945 00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:25,113 I just don't trust him with food. 946 00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:27,615 You know, he made dinner for us the other night. 947 00:56:27,717 --> 00:56:29,912 It tasted like cheap take-out. 948 00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,688 - Well, I'll go. - Good. 949 00:56:35,792 --> 00:56:39,694 Well, I just have to go get my dress, and then we can meet, say, at 7:00? 950 00:56:39,829 --> 00:56:41,057 Okay, that's great. 951 00:56:41,164 --> 00:56:43,962 - Perfect, Norbit. - Okay, see you at 7:00. 952 00:56:45,635 --> 00:56:46,659 Norbit! 953 00:56:46,770 --> 00:56:48,260 All right. Yeah, Norby. 954 00:56:48,371 --> 00:56:50,305 7:00, don't be late. 955 00:56:50,974 --> 00:56:53,238 You guys are all pervs. 956 00:56:55,445 --> 00:56:56,810 I love it. 957 00:56:58,815 --> 00:57:00,112 What's wrong? 958 00:57:00,617 --> 00:57:02,744 Are you sure we're not rushing things? 959 00:57:02,852 --> 00:57:07,050 I know we're not. I know we're not. I couldn't be happier. 960 00:57:09,192 --> 00:57:10,853 Norbit, that's a date. 961 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,292 No, it's not. She just wants someone... 962 00:57:13,396 --> 00:57:16,194 Are you paying for this encounter this evening? 963 00:57:16,299 --> 00:57:17,288 Of course not! 964 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:21,131 Then that's a date. Don't be trying to tell a pimp his game. 965 00:57:22,172 --> 00:57:23,764 Come on, baby. 966 00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,136 - Thank you. - Carmen, honey! 967 00:57:28,244 --> 00:57:29,711 All right. 968 00:57:32,081 --> 00:57:34,242 Well, who are you getting all fine for? 969 00:57:34,350 --> 00:57:37,217 Hello, Rasputia. Well, that's nice. 970 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,254 Oh, yeah, right. Why you trying to look all extra today? 971 00:57:39,355 --> 00:57:42,882 Oh, I'm just, you know, being a girl. 972 00:57:45,662 --> 00:57:48,688 My fiancé likes it when I take care of myself. 973 00:57:48,798 --> 00:57:50,823 Look to me like that fish already in his net. 974 00:57:50,934 --> 00:57:53,164 You look like you fixing to catch you a new fish. 975 00:57:53,269 --> 00:57:57,103 What? No. God. Don't be silly. 976 00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,271 You're married. You're here. 977 00:58:00,376 --> 00:58:01,934 I don't do this for my husband. 978 00:58:02,045 --> 00:58:04,707 Girl, I do this because I have a reputation to uphold. 979 00:58:04,814 --> 00:58:08,841 Everybody in this town know that Rasputia Latimore is fine. Ain't I fine? 980 00:58:08,952 --> 00:58:10,886 - You fine, girl! You are fine. - Sister! 981 00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:12,181 Everybody knows. 982 00:58:12,288 --> 00:58:15,223 But even a delicate flower like me need a little water from time to time. 983 00:58:15,325 --> 00:58:17,691 Or a little lye in her kitchen to help straighten out them petals. 984 00:58:17,794 --> 00:58:19,022 How you doing? 985 00:58:19,128 --> 00:58:20,356 Rasputia. 986 00:58:20,463 --> 00:58:22,431 Helga waiting on you, girl, to do your bikini wax. 987 00:58:22,532 --> 00:58:23,760 Here I come, girl. 988 00:58:23,867 --> 00:58:27,132 I got to go, girl. Every now and then I got to mow the lawn. 989 00:58:27,270 --> 00:58:31,036 You just make sure all that sprucing up is for your fiancé. 990 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,206 Helga, here I come, girl. It's a full moon, too. 991 00:58:40,083 --> 00:58:41,880 Here we go, dear. 992 00:58:48,858 --> 00:58:51,418 I was looking for Norbit's police whistle. 993 00:58:51,794 --> 00:58:52,886 Go fish. 994 00:58:53,663 --> 00:58:54,630 What's up? 995 00:58:54,731 --> 00:58:56,665 Everything on schedule with the wedding? 996 00:58:56,766 --> 00:58:58,757 I got my own problems, but I'll handle it. 997 00:58:58,868 --> 00:59:00,563 What's this situation you're talking about? 998 00:59:00,670 --> 00:59:02,638 The liquor license on the orphanage. 999 00:59:02,739 --> 00:59:05,606 It won't roll over when the property changes hands, 1000 00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:08,040 not without one of these transfer requests upfront. 1001 00:59:08,144 --> 00:59:10,476 Yeah, and getting a new license could take years. 1002 00:59:10,580 --> 00:59:13,276 Yeah, we'd be out of business before we get started. 1003 00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:15,044 You think you can get Kate to sign that? 1004 00:59:15,151 --> 00:59:17,813 Hell, no. She's planning on closing the restaurant. 1005 00:59:17,921 --> 00:59:19,548 It'd raise too many suspicions. 1006 00:59:19,656 --> 00:59:21,851 All right, smart-ass, then what we gonna do now? 1007 00:59:21,958 --> 00:59:24,392 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1008 00:59:27,897 --> 00:59:28,886 Norbit. 1009 00:59:31,167 --> 00:59:33,567 - Where you going, Norbit? - Sit your punk ass down. 1010 00:59:33,670 --> 00:59:37,766 Guys, I told Rasputia the toilet needed to be reinforced 1011 00:59:37,874 --> 00:59:39,466 and she said that I should take care of it, 1012 00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:40,770 so I'm gonna go take care of that. 1013 00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:41,935 Forget that. 1014 00:59:42,045 --> 00:59:43,706 I can't. No, guys, it's an accident waiting to happen. 1015 00:59:43,813 --> 00:59:45,781 - I have to deal with it. - I said forget that. 1016 00:59:45,882 --> 00:59:47,474 We need you to get these papers signed tonight. 1017 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:48,573 Oh, no. I can't do it tonight, guys. 1018 00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:50,744 There's an accident waiting to happen. I have to deal with this... 1019 00:59:50,853 --> 00:59:53,481 Norbit, if you don't get these papers signed tonight, 1020 00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,353 we can't start the remodel on the orphanage. 1021 00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:56,482 That's right, punk ass. 1022 00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:59,153 Bullshit. I'm going for mine tonight. I got things to do! 1023 00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:01,321 Norbit, you better find that Kate Thomas 1024 01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,796 and get her to sign. 1025 01:00:02,899 --> 01:00:04,059 Yeah. 1026 01:00:05,568 --> 01:00:07,160 Kate Thomas? 1027 01:00:07,270 --> 01:00:08,965 You want me to get these papers to Kate Thomas? 1028 01:00:09,072 --> 01:00:10,266 Yeah. 1029 01:00:10,673 --> 01:00:11,662 Okay, that's more important. 1030 01:00:11,774 --> 01:00:13,969 I'll take care of this for you guys. I'll get these to Kate Thomas. 1031 01:00:14,077 --> 01:00:16,602 - That's what I told you to do. - Get your punk ass up. 1032 01:00:16,713 --> 01:00:17,975 Okay, I'm gonna go take these to Kate 1033 01:00:18,081 --> 01:00:20,106 and take my punk ass to Kate Thomas right now. 1034 01:00:20,216 --> 01:00:22,081 Excuse me, pardon me. Let me get through here. Thank you. 1035 01:00:22,185 --> 01:00:24,676 - Excuse me. Going through. Hi. - Bitch ass. 1036 01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:27,381 Yes, I am a bitch ass. Excuse me. Kate Thomas. 1037 01:00:30,126 --> 01:00:32,026 Hey, sorry I'm late. 1038 01:00:32,261 --> 01:00:34,695 Man, it's time for a pimpalicious makeover. Let's do this. 1039 01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:37,288 All right. But nothing too flashy now. I wanna be flashy, but not... 1040 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,391 Class. I don't want no... 1041 01:00:48,778 --> 01:00:50,609 Now, that's pimping. 1042 01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:55,208 All right, hair's bigger. 1043 01:01:14,137 --> 01:01:19,700 Okay. Well, I guess this is it, guys. Thanks a lot for all your help. 1044 01:01:20,076 --> 01:01:21,634 Thanks for making me fly. 1045 01:01:21,744 --> 01:01:23,939 You fly like a flock of birds, baby. 1046 01:01:24,313 --> 01:01:26,645 - You look good. - Thanks, guys. 1047 01:01:26,749 --> 01:01:30,446 - Handle this business for us, brother. - I'm gonna handle it. Gonna handle it. 1048 01:01:30,653 --> 01:01:32,416 - Do the walk, Norbit. - I got you. 1049 01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,513 Yeah. Norbit! 1050 01:01:42,899 --> 01:01:44,389 Wow, Norbit! 1051 01:01:46,402 --> 01:01:48,165 I just picked these on the side of the road, 1052 01:01:48,271 --> 01:01:50,899 'cause this is just a casual get-together. 1053 01:01:51,007 --> 01:01:54,943 Sure. And you put the wires up the stems, too. That's a nice touch. 1054 01:01:55,745 --> 01:01:57,610 - Norbit! - Hey, Sam. 1055 01:01:59,982 --> 01:02:02,382 You dressed to kill, huh? 1056 01:02:02,485 --> 01:02:05,454 Katerina, you look beautiful. Come sit, please. 1057 01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:10,715 I'm making my specialty just for you. 1058 01:02:10,827 --> 01:02:13,091 Hey. Did you make my favorite? 1059 01:02:13,196 --> 01:02:14,993 What do you think, huh? 1060 01:02:15,765 --> 01:02:18,893 I'm gonna take the flowers, put them into water, okay? 1061 01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:20,926 He's a nice man. 1062 01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:24,331 Your favorite? 1063 01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:26,806 I guess you and Rasputia come here a lot, huh? 1064 01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:29,605 Oh, no. We used to, but she got banned for life 1065 01:02:29,712 --> 01:02:31,771 because Sam had an all-you-can-eat buffet once 1066 01:02:31,881 --> 01:02:35,874 and she took it as a personal challenge, and it got pretty ugly. 1067 01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,519 I wanna make a toast. 1068 01:02:38,621 --> 01:02:39,918 Oh, sure. 1069 01:02:42,325 --> 01:02:44,657 To old friends. 1070 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:46,729 To old friends. 1071 01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:52,025 We were buddy partners, all right, Norbit. We were. 1072 01:02:54,103 --> 01:02:57,038 I tell you, you know, 1073 01:02:57,140 --> 01:03:01,440 sometimes I think I should've never married Rasputia. 1074 01:03:01,911 --> 01:03:03,708 What do you mean, Norbit? 1075 01:03:03,813 --> 01:03:07,078 I was just really young, you know, and she latched on to me 1076 01:03:07,183 --> 01:03:11,449 and kind of helped me fit in and gave me a family, so... 1077 01:03:13,723 --> 01:03:15,054 We had nobody, Norbit. 1078 01:03:15,158 --> 01:03:18,616 I mean, who can blame us for wanting to feel safe, you know? 1079 01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,627 Yeah, safe. 1080 01:03:22,165 --> 01:03:23,928 Like you and Deion? 1081 01:03:25,401 --> 01:03:26,527 Yeah. 1082 01:03:28,571 --> 01:03:33,440 I mean, it's different with Deion, obviously. 1083 01:03:36,913 --> 01:03:38,608 So, what have you got here? 1084 01:03:38,714 --> 01:03:41,410 Those are just construction papers, 1085 01:03:41,517 --> 01:03:44,042 permits and stuff that you have to sign. 1086 01:03:46,289 --> 01:03:48,780 Kate, can I ask you a personal question? 1087 01:03:48,891 --> 01:03:50,483 Sure, what? 1088 01:03:55,097 --> 01:03:56,860 Do you love Deion? 1089 01:03:58,734 --> 01:04:01,897 Of course. Yeah. 1090 01:04:04,407 --> 01:04:07,865 Otherwise, why would I be marrying him, right? 1091 01:04:09,645 --> 01:04:10,703 Right? 1092 01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:17,244 - Got your pizza. - It is about time. 1093 01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,687 I'm about to disappear up in here I'm so hungry. 1094 01:04:20,790 --> 01:04:22,621 Norbit out draining a swamp or something. 1095 01:04:22,725 --> 01:04:27,992 Yeah, he's definitely draining a swamp. He's draining a swamp like he would be. 1096 01:04:32,768 --> 01:04:35,566 - Why you looking at me like that? - Where's Norbit? 1097 01:04:36,138 --> 01:04:39,801 Draining a swamp. And why are you looking at me like that? 1098 01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:44,510 He's out there in the woods, draining a swamp. I told you before. 1099 01:04:46,515 --> 01:04:48,642 I don't know nothing. 1100 01:04:49,619 --> 01:04:52,247 I don't know nothing, okay? 1101 01:04:58,094 --> 01:05:01,723 He's on a date with that fine skinny girl! 1102 01:05:12,441 --> 01:05:14,602 It's pain time here! I ain't having this! 1103 01:05:15,778 --> 01:05:18,611 Oh, hell, no. And on top of that he been messing with my seat again? 1104 01:05:18,714 --> 01:05:20,375 Damn it, Norbit! 1105 01:05:24,954 --> 01:05:26,819 He got me destroying my shit. 1106 01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:38,597 This is it. 1107 01:05:38,701 --> 01:05:40,760 It's always so beautiful in here. 1108 01:05:41,304 --> 01:05:42,828 Peaceful. 1109 01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:45,371 - Hello, Kate, Norbit. - Hey. 1110 01:05:45,474 --> 01:05:48,875 Didn't know anybody was here. I was getting ready to close up shop. 1111 01:05:48,978 --> 01:05:52,709 You know, Kate, this all happened so fast, 1112 01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:56,080 I realized we never had a chance to rehearse. 1113 01:05:56,185 --> 01:05:57,914 Oh, yeah, that's right. 1114 01:05:58,020 --> 01:05:59,112 So, come on up here. 1115 01:05:59,221 --> 01:06:01,689 Let me at least show you where you're gonna stand. 1116 01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:03,383 - Come on. - All right. 1117 01:06:06,662 --> 01:06:09,563 Rasputia. You know you no allowed in here. 1118 01:06:09,665 --> 01:06:11,860 The hell with that. Where's Norbit? 1119 01:06:11,968 --> 01:06:15,233 I don't see Norbit. Anybody is a see Norbit? 1120 01:06:15,338 --> 01:06:16,771 - No. - He hasn't been here. 1121 01:06:16,872 --> 01:06:21,673 Then who was eating a turkey ass? 1122 01:06:23,112 --> 01:06:25,273 Run! Run! Run! 1123 01:06:26,449 --> 01:06:28,679 At which point you'll give your vows to Deion. 1124 01:06:30,419 --> 01:06:32,649 You want to practice those? 1125 01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:37,688 Well, I hadn't actually gotten to that quite yet. 1126 01:06:37,927 --> 01:06:40,020 You don't even know what you're gonna say yet? 1127 01:06:41,063 --> 01:06:44,123 Well, what would you say, Norbit? I don't know. 1128 01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:46,066 What would I say? 1129 01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:49,430 Norbit! 1130 01:06:54,910 --> 01:06:58,812 Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me 1131 01:06:58,914 --> 01:07:03,010 Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me 1132 01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:04,086 Don't cha 1133 01:07:04,387 --> 01:07:07,015 What would I say if I was saying vows? 1134 01:07:07,156 --> 01:07:09,021 I guess... 1135 01:07:10,126 --> 01:07:11,218 Kate, 1136 01:07:12,828 --> 01:07:14,853 I think about you all day long. 1137 01:07:15,331 --> 01:07:19,495 And when I'm not near you, 1138 01:07:19,602 --> 01:07:22,435 all I think about is being near you. 1139 01:07:22,538 --> 01:07:24,233 And when you are near me, 1140 01:07:24,340 --> 01:07:27,002 I feel like I'm at peace with the whole world. 1141 01:07:29,211 --> 01:07:31,111 I know that... 1142 01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,611 I know I'll never have to ask God for anything 1143 01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:37,015 'cause, as long as I have you in my life, 1144 01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:40,520 I got everything I ever wanted. 1145 01:07:43,526 --> 01:07:46,723 And the only thing I really wanna do is just 1146 01:07:46,829 --> 01:07:51,698 spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you've made me. 1147 01:07:53,602 --> 01:07:55,570 Because I love you, Kate. 1148 01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,432 I love you. 1149 01:08:01,944 --> 01:08:03,878 I don't know. Something like that. 1150 01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,008 And after the vows you would then... 1151 01:08:09,018 --> 01:08:10,007 Okay. 1152 01:08:42,218 --> 01:08:43,185 Oh, my God. 1153 01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:45,918 I'm sorry, I have to go. 1154 01:08:46,755 --> 01:08:48,052 I'm sorry. 1155 01:08:56,432 --> 01:08:58,866 - Awkward. - Yeah. 1156 01:09:05,641 --> 01:09:08,838 Give me that crowbar. I got some killing to do. 1157 01:09:21,690 --> 01:09:22,918 Damn it! 1158 01:09:23,659 --> 01:09:27,322 I'm a Christian. You got me up in this church cursing, Norbit. 1159 01:09:29,131 --> 01:09:31,827 Death do us part, huh? Okay, Norbit. 1160 01:09:31,934 --> 01:09:34,061 Look like you done moved up the goddamn schedule. 1161 01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:35,728 I'm cursing again. 1162 01:09:35,971 --> 01:09:36,995 Pray, bitch, pray. 1163 01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:38,733 Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. 1164 01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:42,333 Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. 1165 01:09:43,445 --> 01:09:45,970 Kate, please. Kate, please, I'm sorry. 1166 01:09:46,081 --> 01:09:47,275 Kate, please, stop and talk to me. 1167 01:09:47,383 --> 01:09:49,248 Please, please, Kate. Talk to me, please. 1168 01:09:49,351 --> 01:09:51,114 I can't, Norbit. 1169 01:09:51,554 --> 01:09:53,283 I'm just too confused right now. 1170 01:09:53,389 --> 01:09:56,847 I'm sorry. It was all my fault. I never should have kissed you. 1171 01:09:57,493 --> 01:09:58,960 No. 1172 01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:03,424 I wanted you to. 1173 01:10:05,634 --> 01:10:08,228 That's why I'm so confused. 1174 01:10:10,739 --> 01:10:12,297 Good night. 1175 01:10:23,485 --> 01:10:25,180 She wanted me to. 1176 01:10:33,729 --> 01:10:37,460 - Where the papers at, Norbit? - Got them for you right here. 1177 01:10:43,839 --> 01:10:46,273 I'd hate to be you right now. 1178 01:10:46,809 --> 01:10:47,776 Why? 1179 01:10:48,877 --> 01:10:50,674 Go on in the house. 1180 01:10:51,313 --> 01:10:52,678 Go on in. 1181 01:10:55,851 --> 01:10:58,615 Go ahead, fool. What you waiting for? 1182 01:10:58,721 --> 01:11:00,348 Get on in. 1183 01:11:12,234 --> 01:11:14,259 Hello? 1184 01:11:17,873 --> 01:11:20,103 Chocolate drop, I'm home. 1185 01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:23,976 Lollipop? 1186 01:11:25,881 --> 01:11:27,041 Mail. 1187 01:11:33,222 --> 01:11:35,520 Expecting a letter, Norbit? 1188 01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:40,319 You frightened me. No, I was just looking through. 1189 01:11:40,929 --> 01:11:42,726 How was your date? 1190 01:11:43,332 --> 01:11:44,594 Date? 1191 01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:49,135 That was no date. That was just... 1192 01:11:49,238 --> 01:11:53,868 I just was over at what's-her-name's wedding rehearsal. 1193 01:11:55,778 --> 01:11:58,576 That's all. It wasn't a date, though. 1194 01:12:00,983 --> 01:12:02,382 Oh, really? 1195 01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:22,865 Lloyd. Is that you, Lloyd? 1196 01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:26,000 Lloyd, what am I gonna do? 1197 01:12:26,575 --> 01:12:28,202 Kill the bitch. 1198 01:12:28,644 --> 01:12:30,669 Excuse me? What'd you say? 1199 01:12:30,779 --> 01:12:35,443 You heard me. Rub her out. Take her down. Ice the bitch. 1200 01:12:36,285 --> 01:12:39,345 Hey. Lloyd, you're talking. 1201 01:12:39,455 --> 01:12:43,186 She took my legs, Norbit. She took my legs. 1202 01:12:43,292 --> 01:12:46,261 You know what it's like to be a dog with no legs? 1203 01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:48,159 I can't raise one up to pee. 1204 01:12:48,263 --> 01:12:53,166 Hell, I can't even hump no more, Norbit. Humping was my thing. 1205 01:12:53,268 --> 01:12:55,498 What is this, Norbit? 1206 01:12:58,807 --> 01:13:01,776 Some kind of weird, satanic potato art? 1207 01:13:03,512 --> 01:13:04,774 What's this? 1208 01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,440 It looks like the acid that we use down at the quarry. 1209 01:13:07,549 --> 01:13:08,675 Right! 1210 01:13:08,784 --> 01:13:11,480 But this is Miss Pretty Little Thang's little face. 1211 01:13:11,587 --> 01:13:15,751 And, Norbit, if you ever see her again, if you ever talk to her again, 1212 01:13:15,858 --> 01:13:18,190 if you ever so much as think about the bitch again, 1213 01:13:18,293 --> 01:13:20,853 this is what's gonna happen to her. 1214 01:13:26,969 --> 01:13:28,561 How you doing? 1215 01:13:29,505 --> 01:13:31,666 You get the picture, Norbit? 1216 01:13:33,542 --> 01:13:36,409 Deion, I just think that we need to take a beat. 1217 01:13:36,512 --> 01:13:38,742 It's not you, it's me. 1218 01:13:38,847 --> 01:13:41,577 Just if we slow down, I... 1219 01:13:41,683 --> 01:13:43,514 Oh, good, you're up. 1220 01:13:43,619 --> 01:13:46,417 - Deion, we need to talk. - Yes, we do. 1221 01:13:46,522 --> 01:13:49,582 I was just at Latimore Construction, you know, with the renovation plans, 1222 01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:52,125 and I found this on Big Black's desk. 1223 01:13:52,694 --> 01:13:53,786 What is it? 1224 01:13:53,896 --> 01:13:56,228 It's a request to renew the Golden Wonton's liquor license 1225 01:13:56,331 --> 01:13:58,925 and put it in the Latimores' name. 1226 01:13:59,668 --> 01:14:00,726 What? 1227 01:14:00,836 --> 01:14:03,304 Baby, you signed it yesterday. Look at the date. 1228 01:14:03,405 --> 01:14:05,805 No. No, I didn't sign anything. 1229 01:14:07,576 --> 01:14:10,409 Just some permits that Norbit gave me, but... 1230 01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:12,776 Well, did you read them? 1231 01:14:13,649 --> 01:14:15,708 - No. - No. Great. 1232 01:14:15,818 --> 01:14:17,285 I don't get it, though, Deion. 1233 01:14:17,386 --> 01:14:19,411 Why would the Latimores want me to renew the liquor license 1234 01:14:19,521 --> 01:14:20,749 at the orphanage? 1235 01:14:20,856 --> 01:14:22,585 Baby, people say they've been trying to get their hands on 1236 01:14:22,691 --> 01:14:24,921 that orphanage for years. 1237 01:14:25,027 --> 01:14:27,928 Apparently they want to turn it into a strip joint. 1238 01:14:28,263 --> 01:14:29,491 Disgusting. 1239 01:14:29,865 --> 01:14:32,698 First you gonna clean the basement, then you gonna clean the garage, 1240 01:14:32,801 --> 01:14:34,769 then you gonna go upstairs and clean the attic. 1241 01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:36,997 We don't even have an attic. 1242 01:14:37,105 --> 01:14:40,632 Well, then you build a damn attic, then, Norbit! And then clean it! 1243 01:14:40,742 --> 01:14:43,609 I'm going upstairs to take a bubble bath. 1244 01:14:47,850 --> 01:14:51,684 Bitch! You bitch! 1245 01:14:53,917 --> 01:14:55,544 Finally. 1246 01:14:55,652 --> 01:14:59,952 I needed this. Let me submerge this ass. 1247 01:15:00,057 --> 01:15:01,922 How you doing? 1248 01:15:05,262 --> 01:15:06,889 Good and hot. 1249 01:15:07,431 --> 01:15:09,899 Sounds like it's raining outside. 1250 01:15:20,544 --> 01:15:21,670 Oh, no. 1251 01:15:22,479 --> 01:15:23,673 Kate! 1252 01:15:23,780 --> 01:15:24,747 Norbit. 1253 01:15:24,848 --> 01:15:27,043 Over here. Over here. 1254 01:15:28,218 --> 01:15:29,776 I need to talk to you. 1255 01:15:29,886 --> 01:15:33,049 Do you know what was in those papers you had me sign last night? 1256 01:15:33,156 --> 01:15:35,021 Yeah, the construction permits. 1257 01:15:35,125 --> 01:15:37,252 No, that's not all. 1258 01:15:40,897 --> 01:15:42,125 Norbit. 1259 01:15:42,432 --> 01:15:46,095 Hey, just... Just go away, Kate! Get out of here! 1260 01:15:46,203 --> 01:15:47,363 What? 1261 01:15:49,573 --> 01:15:52,167 You heard what I said! Just get out of here! Scram! 1262 01:15:52,275 --> 01:15:55,972 The Latimores are trying to take control of the orphanage, Norbit. 1263 01:15:56,079 --> 01:16:00,140 Well, why don't you go and find somebody who gives a rat's ass, 1264 01:16:00,250 --> 01:16:02,810 because I sure as hell don't! 1265 01:16:03,386 --> 01:16:06,480 - You don't care? - No, I don't care. 1266 01:16:08,058 --> 01:16:10,925 - And I don't care about you, either! - Norbit. 1267 01:16:11,027 --> 01:16:14,758 The only woman I have ever, ever loved and ever cared about 1268 01:16:14,865 --> 01:16:18,392 was my darling wife, Rasputia! 1269 01:16:20,604 --> 01:16:21,628 But last night... 1270 01:16:21,738 --> 01:16:26,266 Last night I was just trying to nail you, you know, score? 1271 01:16:26,743 --> 01:16:28,904 But now I realize I don't have to do that! 1272 01:16:29,012 --> 01:16:34,575 All I need is my beautiful, precious wife Rasputia! 1273 01:16:35,519 --> 01:16:39,956 She's all the woman I need, so you can just go on and get out of here, 1274 01:16:40,056 --> 01:16:42,547 you screwy dame! Who needs you? 1275 01:16:43,593 --> 01:16:45,493 Damn, Norbit. 1276 01:16:45,595 --> 01:16:48,792 Did that skinny little thing figure out your plan? 1277 01:16:48,899 --> 01:16:52,460 Girl, you just don't get it, do you? Norbit played you. 1278 01:16:52,569 --> 01:16:54,867 You got her to sign those papers, didn't you? 1279 01:16:54,971 --> 01:16:56,666 Yes, darling. 1280 01:16:57,574 --> 01:16:59,235 He been setting you up from that moment 1281 01:16:59,342 --> 01:17:01,435 from the very first day you got here. 1282 01:17:01,545 --> 01:17:02,910 How you doing? 1283 01:17:03,847 --> 01:17:06,714 Don't you ever talk to me again! 1284 01:17:08,151 --> 01:17:09,209 Kate. 1285 01:17:09,319 --> 01:17:12,015 Damn, Norbit, you pissing off everybody today. 1286 01:17:12,122 --> 01:17:17,355 Don't you ever talk to me again! Don't you ever talk to me again! 1287 01:17:19,830 --> 01:17:21,058 Never again! 1288 01:17:53,430 --> 01:17:54,761 Hey, Norbit. 1289 01:17:56,299 --> 01:17:58,563 Mr. Wong, what are you doing around here? 1290 01:17:58,668 --> 01:18:02,399 I just going for a walk, Norbit. Just going for a walk. 1291 01:18:02,505 --> 01:18:06,134 I live in this neighborhood long time. Long time. 1292 01:18:07,010 --> 01:18:09,103 Soon I be moving on. 1293 01:18:09,212 --> 01:18:11,737 Yes, as I look around this neighborhood, 1294 01:18:11,848 --> 01:18:15,375 I realize there no good dry cleaners here. 1295 01:18:15,485 --> 01:18:17,180 I could make killing. 1296 01:18:17,287 --> 01:18:18,652 Why you got suitcase? 1297 01:18:18,755 --> 01:18:21,815 I'm getting the H out of here. I'm leaving town for good. 1298 01:18:21,925 --> 01:18:23,051 What? Leaving town? 1299 01:18:23,159 --> 01:18:26,424 I thought you stick around, help Kate run orphanage. 1300 01:18:26,963 --> 01:18:28,555 She's getting married to Deion tomorrow, 1301 01:18:28,665 --> 01:18:31,156 so there's no reason for me to stay around here. 1302 01:18:31,268 --> 01:18:32,758 No reason? 1303 01:18:32,936 --> 01:18:34,597 No, she won't even see me. 1304 01:18:34,704 --> 01:18:37,002 And besides, I'll just wind up getting hurt again. 1305 01:18:37,107 --> 01:18:40,440 Norbit, you listen to me. You very special to me. 1306 01:18:41,244 --> 01:18:45,408 I love you like my own child, like boy child, not girl child. 1307 01:18:45,515 --> 01:18:47,881 Wong once have girl child back in Shanghai. 1308 01:18:47,984 --> 01:18:50,509 When she two years old, I trade her for yak. 1309 01:18:50,620 --> 01:18:53,180 That sort of thing happen in China from time to time. 1310 01:18:53,290 --> 01:18:54,951 Yak very hard to come by. 1311 01:18:55,058 --> 01:18:57,788 Oh, yeah, sure. I appreciate that. 1312 01:18:57,894 --> 01:19:00,761 You can't run from your problems, Norbit. 1313 01:19:00,864 --> 01:19:04,800 Black people run fast, but problem even faster. 1314 01:19:05,435 --> 01:19:07,027 That's kind of racist. 1315 01:19:07,137 --> 01:19:11,267 Yes. Wong very racist. I no like black. I no like Jew either. 1316 01:19:11,374 --> 01:19:14,138 But black and Jew love Chinese food. Go figure. 1317 01:19:15,045 --> 01:19:17,479 Always remember two things, Norbit. 1318 01:19:17,580 --> 01:19:22,040 One, even though you're very ugly, 1319 01:19:22,152 --> 01:19:24,985 you're very strong inside, like warrior. 1320 01:19:25,088 --> 01:19:29,388 And two, mail come late on Friday. 1321 01:19:31,227 --> 01:19:33,388 Wong Dry Cleaning. 1322 01:19:34,197 --> 01:19:35,960 It could have been huge. 1323 01:19:36,066 --> 01:19:39,729 You don't even have to clean nothing, you just spray with starch. 1324 01:20:00,123 --> 01:20:01,283 Mr... 1325 01:20:06,363 --> 01:20:08,228 I gotta warn Kate. 1326 01:20:16,906 --> 01:20:17,930 Hello? 1327 01:20:18,041 --> 01:20:20,134 Hello, Kate. Kate, it's Norbit. I have to talk to you. 1328 01:20:20,243 --> 01:20:23,644 - Please don't call me anymore. - No, Kate, it's very important. 1329 01:20:25,248 --> 01:20:26,579 Kate? 1330 01:20:39,696 --> 01:20:40,924 Going somewhere, Norbit? 1331 01:20:41,031 --> 01:20:43,363 No, I was... No. 1332 01:20:43,466 --> 01:20:45,127 What did I tell you about leaving this house? 1333 01:20:45,235 --> 01:20:47,703 I was just going to get some fresh air. 1334 01:20:47,804 --> 01:20:50,398 Boy, you ain't going nowhere till after that wedding's done. 1335 01:20:50,507 --> 01:20:52,134 We got too much riding on that. 1336 01:20:52,242 --> 01:20:54,210 What do you have riding on the wedding? 1337 01:20:54,310 --> 01:20:56,505 Soon as your little friend says, "I do," 1338 01:20:56,613 --> 01:20:59,878 Deion and us is gonna turn the orphanage into a titty bar. 1339 01:21:00,216 --> 01:21:02,446 But what about the little orphans? 1340 01:21:02,552 --> 01:21:05,612 Hell, they can come too, if they pay the cover. 1341 01:21:07,857 --> 01:21:10,690 John the Baptist, stop their evil plan. 1342 01:21:11,494 --> 01:21:13,519 Get your ass down in the basement. 1343 01:21:14,064 --> 01:21:15,588 Get down there! 1344 01:21:20,470 --> 01:21:26,204 It's a madhouse! A madhouse! 1345 01:21:42,392 --> 01:21:45,020 - Come on, Rasputia! We gonna be late. - Yeah. 1346 01:21:45,128 --> 01:21:47,062 I know y'all better stop rushing me. 1347 01:21:47,163 --> 01:21:49,631 Beauty takes time. This don't just happen. 1348 01:21:49,732 --> 01:21:50,994 Oh, no. 1349 01:21:51,301 --> 01:21:52,268 You get out the car. 1350 01:21:52,368 --> 01:21:54,168 You gonna stay here and make sure Norbit don't go no place. 1351 01:21:54,270 --> 01:21:56,795 What? Why I gotta stay? 1352 01:21:56,906 --> 01:21:59,374 Because everybody know you the smartest. 1353 01:22:16,292 --> 01:22:19,887 Three minutes to show time. Not too late to chicken out. 1354 01:22:20,563 --> 01:22:22,360 No, I'm ready. 1355 01:22:22,665 --> 01:22:24,929 Okay. You look beautiful. 1356 01:22:43,453 --> 01:22:45,853 P-O-W-E-R. 1357 01:22:45,955 --> 01:22:50,153 T to the A to the mother-stanking P. Power-tap the fat, move back. 1358 01:22:50,260 --> 01:22:52,057 Power-tap the fat, move back. 1359 01:23:11,514 --> 01:23:13,072 What are the Latimores doing here? 1360 01:23:13,183 --> 01:23:16,482 Don't worry. It's your day. You look beautiful. 1361 01:23:25,962 --> 01:23:27,224 Nuts. 1362 01:23:27,797 --> 01:23:30,391 - Tsp, tsp, tsp. Tsp it off. - Tap, tap. Tap... 1363 01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:32,328 Norbit! 1364 01:23:34,470 --> 01:23:36,734 Norbit? Norbit? 1365 01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:40,608 Oh, damn. He escaped. 1366 01:23:41,444 --> 01:23:43,275 Norbit! Norbit! 1367 01:23:44,280 --> 01:23:46,339 Your ass is mine, Norbit! 1368 01:23:55,925 --> 01:23:57,222 Yeah. 1369 01:24:01,831 --> 01:24:03,856 - Just now? Shit. - Is he all right? 1370 01:24:04,267 --> 01:24:06,497 Norbit escaped. He gonna be headed this way. Come on. 1371 01:24:06,603 --> 01:24:08,070 Hell, no. 1372 01:24:11,808 --> 01:24:14,242 - Norbit is coming. - For shizzle? 1373 01:24:14,344 --> 01:24:16,505 We have to figure out way to stall wedding. 1374 01:24:16,613 --> 01:24:17,944 Just calm down, Mr. Wong. 1375 01:24:18,047 --> 01:24:21,278 I've ruined plenty of weddings back in the day. I got this. 1376 01:24:21,884 --> 01:24:23,715 Dearly beloved, 1377 01:24:23,820 --> 01:24:27,916 we are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony. 1378 01:24:28,024 --> 01:24:30,720 Your Honor, I object! 1379 01:24:31,394 --> 01:24:34,886 Object? Sir, we've not gotten to that part yet. 1380 01:24:34,998 --> 01:24:38,866 Then I'm objeculating prematurely, Reverend. 1381 01:24:40,403 --> 01:24:43,770 No offense, my brother, but we're just trying to keep the train rolling here. 1382 01:24:43,873 --> 01:24:47,206 Oh, well, if you want to get the train rolling, you know... 1383 01:24:47,310 --> 01:24:49,471 You got to use the big "L". 1384 01:24:50,813 --> 01:24:51,837 Lesbians. 1385 01:24:51,948 --> 01:24:54,109 No, man. I ain't talking about no lesbians. 1386 01:24:54,217 --> 01:24:55,775 - Although, late at night. - Yes. 1387 01:24:55,885 --> 01:24:57,409 - Right? - Yes. 1388 01:24:57,620 --> 01:25:00,521 - No, brother, we talking about love. - Love. 1389 01:25:00,623 --> 01:25:06,255 Love is the engine that drives the train forward, backwards, 1390 01:25:06,362 --> 01:25:11,129 side to side, round and round love does go. 1391 01:25:11,234 --> 01:25:13,794 You understand me? I got this, brother. 1392 01:25:13,903 --> 01:25:18,340 I'm not talking about no $20 up in here, back seat of the car, 1393 01:25:18,441 --> 01:25:20,409 stanky-stanky, hanky-panky. 1394 01:25:20,510 --> 01:25:21,477 - No. - No. 1395 01:25:21,577 --> 01:25:23,977 I'm talking about good, wholesome, 1396 01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:27,072 fortified with eight essential vitamins love. 1397 01:25:27,183 --> 01:25:28,616 That cost anywhere... 1398 01:25:28,718 --> 01:25:29,707 How much it cost? 1399 01:25:29,819 --> 01:25:33,880 About $136, Monday through Fridays. $212 on the weekends. 1400 01:25:33,990 --> 01:25:36,823 Because of inflation. Can I get an "Amen"? 1401 01:25:36,926 --> 01:25:38,018 Amen! 1402 01:25:48,338 --> 01:25:50,238 Where the hell you going, Norbit? 1403 01:25:50,340 --> 01:25:53,366 None of your GD beeswax, Rasputia! 1404 01:25:53,476 --> 01:25:55,467 Look at you, you old stupid fool. You can't even ride a bike. 1405 01:25:55,578 --> 01:25:58,570 Oh, yes, I can, because Kate taught me! 1406 01:26:07,990 --> 01:26:12,222 Brothers and sisters. This particular one's for the brothers. 1407 01:26:12,328 --> 01:26:16,025 When you buy the ones that say, "Ribbed for her pleasure," 1408 01:26:16,132 --> 01:26:20,728 turn them inside out and they ribbed for your pleasure. 1409 01:26:20,837 --> 01:26:23,067 - Can I get an "Amen"? - Amen! 1410 01:26:23,172 --> 01:26:25,663 Now, speaking of ribs and pleasure. 1411 01:26:26,209 --> 01:26:30,578 Yes. For a limited time only, we are proud to present to you 1412 01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:33,877 our barbeque, baby back, horseradish, 1413 01:26:33,983 --> 01:26:36,918 mustard and peanut butter-encrusted ribs 1414 01:26:37,019 --> 01:26:41,718 with a slight Jagermeister infusion sprinkled with chamomile leaves 1415 01:26:41,824 --> 01:26:46,523 with a horseradish and dandelion salad on a bed of rice. 1416 01:26:46,629 --> 01:26:49,723 Buy one Pimp Platter, get the whole bones free. 1417 01:26:49,866 --> 01:26:52,858 No, no, no! That's enough talking. 1418 01:26:52,969 --> 01:26:54,903 It's time to get back to the wedding. 1419 01:26:55,004 --> 01:26:59,634 It ain't never enough talking when you talking about love, brother. 1420 01:26:59,742 --> 01:27:01,937 - Ain't that right? - Yeah! 1421 01:27:02,044 --> 01:27:03,602 Let me hear you say it, people! 1422 01:27:03,713 --> 01:27:04,737 Love! 1423 01:27:04,847 --> 01:27:06,872 Let me hear you sing it, choir! 1424 01:27:06,983 --> 01:27:09,076 Love! 1425 01:27:21,664 --> 01:27:23,188 - I'm gonna rip your head off. - Rasputia. 1426 01:27:23,299 --> 01:27:24,698 - What? - Car! 1427 01:27:24,801 --> 01:27:26,496 I don't give a damn about no car. I'm ready to die. 1428 01:27:26,602 --> 01:27:27,967 Car! 1429 01:27:29,939 --> 01:27:31,964 I'm ready to die! 1430 01:27:33,443 --> 01:27:34,467 I'm ready to die. 1431 01:27:34,577 --> 01:27:37,375 I ain't gonna let you ruin Nipplopolis for me, boy! Damn! 1432 01:27:37,480 --> 01:27:39,471 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die up in here. 1433 01:27:39,916 --> 01:27:41,508 Drive the car, God damn it! 1434 01:27:47,690 --> 01:27:51,786 What's up, white man? Pay for your sins. Pay for your sins. 1435 01:27:52,061 --> 01:27:54,359 We gonna change your name to Leroy. 1436 01:28:50,887 --> 01:28:52,752 Amen! 1437 01:28:57,126 --> 01:28:58,252 That's enough! 1438 01:28:58,361 --> 01:29:01,660 That's enough! Enough! Enough! Enough! Enough! 1439 01:29:01,931 --> 01:29:03,694 - Stop the music! - Hold on. 1440 01:29:03,833 --> 01:29:06,165 Shut up! You two, shut up! 1441 01:29:06,269 --> 01:29:08,100 That's it. This is husband-and-wife time. 1442 01:29:08,204 --> 01:29:11,833 Now, let's go. Let's go. Husband-and-wife stuff. 1443 01:29:13,943 --> 01:29:14,910 Dearly beloved, 1444 01:29:15,912 --> 01:29:17,140 we are gathered here today... 1445 01:29:17,246 --> 01:29:18,543 I object! 1446 01:29:18,648 --> 01:29:20,013 Oh, for Christ's sake! 1447 01:29:20,449 --> 01:29:21,939 - Norbit. - Norbit. 1448 01:29:22,051 --> 01:29:23,040 Norbit. 1449 01:29:23,152 --> 01:29:25,950 Norbit 1450 01:29:26,722 --> 01:29:29,418 This wedding is a sham and I'm here to stop it. 1451 01:29:29,525 --> 01:29:31,493 Norbit, what are you doing? 1452 01:29:31,594 --> 01:29:35,257 I'm being a man for the first time in my life. Kate... 1453 01:29:36,098 --> 01:29:38,032 Kate, I love you. 1454 01:29:39,602 --> 01:29:41,934 What the hell did you just say? 1455 01:29:43,339 --> 01:29:46,069 You heard what I said, strumpet. I love Kate! 1456 01:29:46,175 --> 01:29:48,473 That's right. I love you, Kate. 1457 01:29:48,578 --> 01:29:51,911 And the last two weeks I spent with you have meant more to me 1458 01:29:52,014 --> 01:29:54,847 than my whole entire miserable life with you, Rasputia! 1459 01:29:54,951 --> 01:30:00,082 It's over! Norbit Albert Rice is no longer your bitch! 1460 01:30:05,161 --> 01:30:06,526 You're dead! Get off me! 1461 01:30:06,629 --> 01:30:08,221 Get your hands off me, Black. Don't go hitting me. 1462 01:30:08,331 --> 01:30:10,561 What's wrong with you, girl? What's wrong with you? Get off of me. 1463 01:30:10,666 --> 01:30:11,826 You don't talk like that with me. 1464 01:30:11,934 --> 01:30:12,901 No, wait! 1465 01:30:13,002 --> 01:30:14,264 No, no, wait, baby girl, he's ruining our wedding. 1466 01:30:14,370 --> 01:30:15,667 Let's just get back to the nuptials. 1467 01:30:15,771 --> 01:30:18,467 We just heard condom advice from an ex-pimp. 1468 01:30:18,574 --> 01:30:21,168 I think we can survive a few words from Norbit. 1469 01:30:21,277 --> 01:30:24,269 Deion is a fake. He's marrying you just to get your money. 1470 01:30:24,380 --> 01:30:25,369 What? 1471 01:30:25,481 --> 01:30:28,575 Him and the Latimores. They thought this whole scheme up. 1472 01:30:28,684 --> 01:30:31,847 He's been married four times in the last six years to four different women, 1473 01:30:31,954 --> 01:30:34,980 and he cheated the women out of $300,000 in divorce settlements. 1474 01:30:35,091 --> 01:30:36,854 Yeah, I heard all about it! And something else. 1475 01:30:36,959 --> 01:30:39,154 They were gonna try to steal the orphanage from you. 1476 01:30:39,261 --> 01:30:40,489 That's what this whole thing is about! 1477 01:30:40,596 --> 01:30:43,759 You crazy! He's got a big crush on you. He's making this stuff up. 1478 01:30:43,866 --> 01:30:45,663 Oh, yeah? I'm crazy? I'm making it all up? 1479 01:30:45,768 --> 01:30:47,998 - Yes, you making it up. - Then what about this, then? 1480 01:30:48,104 --> 01:30:50,800 This evidence that I have. Look at this! 1481 01:30:52,208 --> 01:30:54,142 This, well... 1482 01:30:54,343 --> 01:30:57,938 This used to, before it fell in the pond, it had numbers 1483 01:30:58,047 --> 01:30:59,514 and there was information. 1484 01:30:59,615 --> 01:31:02,709 There was people's names and dates and addresses 1485 01:31:02,818 --> 01:31:05,412 and all kinds of incriminating things. 1486 01:31:05,521 --> 01:31:09,821 I fell in the pond, but you can't read it. But, boy, did I have your ass! 1487 01:31:10,059 --> 01:31:13,426 That's nice, Norbit. Really nice. Did you write that yourself? Pathetic. 1488 01:31:13,529 --> 01:31:15,087 Kate, you have to believe me. 1489 01:31:15,197 --> 01:31:16,425 Yeah, yeah, believe him, Kate. 1490 01:31:16,532 --> 01:31:18,966 Remember the one that got you to sign the papers to steal the orphanage? 1491 01:31:19,068 --> 01:31:21,298 Remember that? Believe him. Go ahead. 1492 01:31:21,804 --> 01:31:26,241 I'm so sorry, Norbit. I just don't trust you anymore. 1493 01:31:31,313 --> 01:31:34,339 Well, well, well, Norbit. You lose again. 1494 01:31:34,450 --> 01:31:38,318 Once a loser, always a loser, huh? Now, come on! Let's go! 1495 01:31:39,822 --> 01:31:43,519 Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way about it, Kate. 1496 01:31:45,027 --> 01:31:47,018 And that's why I took the liberty 1497 01:31:47,129 --> 01:31:50,724 of inviting some of Deion's ex-wives down 1498 01:31:50,833 --> 01:31:53,199 so maybe they could tell you for themselves. 1499 01:31:53,302 --> 01:31:54,929 Ladies! 1500 01:31:55,037 --> 01:31:56,561 Hello, Antoine. 1501 01:31:56,706 --> 01:31:59,641 - I've been looking for you. - Daddy! 1502 01:31:59,742 --> 01:32:02,233 Antoine? He told me his name was Luther! 1503 01:32:02,344 --> 01:32:03,311 Who is that ho? 1504 01:32:03,412 --> 01:32:05,039 He told me he was gay. 1505 01:32:05,147 --> 01:32:09,140 No, no, no. Y'all got me confused with my gay twin brother, Antoine Luther. 1506 01:32:09,251 --> 01:32:11,742 - You dead, gold digger! - Get your butt back here! 1507 01:32:11,854 --> 01:32:12,912 I'm out! 1508 01:32:13,022 --> 01:32:15,081 Looks like the wedding's off, bro. 1509 01:32:15,191 --> 01:32:16,556 Church! 1510 01:32:18,227 --> 01:32:19,922 - God damn it, Norbit! - Oh, snap! 1511 01:32:20,029 --> 01:32:20,996 Get him! 1512 01:32:21,097 --> 01:32:22,291 Norbit! 1513 01:32:24,300 --> 01:32:27,167 Mother Mary! Jesus! Noah! Christ! 1514 01:32:28,304 --> 01:32:29,328 Good. 1515 01:32:44,553 --> 01:32:46,350 You going somewhere, Norbit? 1516 01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:00,093 - You messed up, boy. - That's right. 1517 01:33:01,070 --> 01:33:03,561 Now you gonna pay. Big time! 1518 01:33:03,672 --> 01:33:07,039 Latimore! Keep your fakakta hands off him! 1519 01:33:07,143 --> 01:33:09,634 Go back to your shop, Abe, before I kill you, too! 1520 01:33:09,745 --> 01:33:12,942 Hey! You gonna have to kill me, as well! 1521 01:33:13,048 --> 01:33:14,845 Yeah, and me, too! 1522 01:33:21,824 --> 01:33:23,291 Rasputia! 1523 01:33:25,227 --> 01:33:26,888 How you doing? 1524 01:33:28,230 --> 01:33:30,721 I kick the shit out of you. 1525 01:33:35,204 --> 01:33:36,330 Mind your goddamn business. 1526 01:33:36,438 --> 01:33:38,929 Mind your business. Get out of here. Move it. 1527 01:33:39,942 --> 01:33:41,705 No, you didn't! 1528 01:33:41,811 --> 01:33:43,779 Bye-bye. 1529 01:33:48,450 --> 01:33:50,577 Bring it, bitches! 1530 01:33:54,190 --> 01:33:55,589 Oh, hell to the no. 1531 01:33:55,691 --> 01:33:58,182 Mrs. Henderson is tripping, huh? Get your... 1532 01:33:59,628 --> 01:34:02,529 You crazy little old bitch. How you doing? 1533 01:34:12,041 --> 01:34:13,474 Get out of the way. 1534 01:34:14,343 --> 01:34:15,674 His ass is mine. 1535 01:34:16,545 --> 01:34:19,275 'Sputia? Rasputia? 1536 01:34:20,282 --> 01:34:22,409 You remember "till death do us part," don't you, Norbit? 1537 01:34:22,518 --> 01:34:23,644 No! 1538 01:34:25,354 --> 01:34:27,379 Whale, ho! 1539 01:34:28,724 --> 01:34:30,589 Did somebody just call me a whale? 1540 01:34:30,693 --> 01:34:32,820 Yeah, and a ho! 1541 01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:40,662 Bingo! Right in the blow hole! 1542 01:34:44,240 --> 01:34:46,367 - Let's get some. - We dead. 1543 01:34:47,042 --> 01:34:49,374 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 1544 01:34:58,120 --> 01:34:59,382 Norbit! 1545 01:35:03,692 --> 01:35:04,818 Are you all right? 1546 01:35:04,927 --> 01:35:08,920 All right? This is the best I've ever felt in my whole life. 1547 01:35:10,666 --> 01:35:11,997 Come here. 1548 01:35:18,507 --> 01:35:19,599 Proud of that boy. 1549 01:35:19,708 --> 01:35:24,338 Yes. Yes, very proud of Norbit. He like my son. 1550 01:35:24,647 --> 01:35:26,911 I'm sorry I doubted you. 1551 01:35:33,822 --> 01:35:37,383 In the end, I guess you could say everything worked out just fine. 1552 01:35:39,929 --> 01:35:43,888 Kate and I took over the orphanage and it was s dream come true. 1553 01:35:44,800 --> 01:35:48,531 Oh, and we also got married. Again. 1554 01:35:48,637 --> 01:35:50,229 I love you, Kate. 1555 01:35:50,606 --> 01:35:51,834 Ditto. 1556 01:35:53,008 --> 01:35:56,409 And I now pronounce you my wife. 1557 01:35:57,680 --> 01:36:01,446 And I pronounce you my husband. 1558 01:36:02,284 --> 01:36:04,377 You may kiss the bride. 1559 01:36:09,658 --> 01:36:13,219 What you mean, "Ew"? No, "Ew." Man kiss a woman, beautiful thing. 1560 01:36:13,329 --> 01:36:16,025 Ling Ling. Come here with your fine self. 1561 01:36:20,803 --> 01:36:23,897 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1562 01:36:37,786 --> 01:36:40,084 As for Rasputia and the rest of the Latimores, 1563 01:36:40,189 --> 01:36:42,384 we never heard from them again. 1564 01:36:42,491 --> 01:36:46,484 Rumor has it they settled somewhere in Mexico and opened the club. 1565 01:36:50,632 --> 01:36:53,100 I guess they're living their dream, too. 1566 01:36:53,302 --> 01:36:56,100 Say, man, don't you have any better-looking girls than that? 1567 01:36:56,205 --> 01:36:58,435 Our best girl's coming out right now. 1568 01:37:00,576 --> 01:37:02,168 Rasputia! 1569 01:37:13,222 --> 01:37:14,348 Hold on, now, Pepe. 1570 01:37:14,456 --> 01:37:17,482 Ain't nothing going down there unless it got the word "peso" written on it.