Sameer...
Cooking gas...?
Auntie! Auntie!
That's good, auntie
Hey auntie! Wake up!
Sameer, forgive me. I'm Ieaving you
Sure, you're forgiven! Now wake up!
I wish you were a heart-speciaIist instead of an orthopedician,...
you'd have understood my anguish. - I understand aII your anguish!
Now come on! Wake up!
PIease, Sameer... one Iast time
Who are you? And what are you doing here?
Strange girI! She first hugs me and then yeIIs at me!
How did you get in? - UngratefuI girI!
Like a hero! I broke through the window. You Ieft the cooking-gas on
Had I not got here on time, you'd have been dead by now
Why did you save me? You shouId've Iet me die!
I see! A suicide case!
Sameer's not the reason, is he? - How did you guess?
Auntie! He's the one whose name was on your Iips when you cIung to me!
Don't even utter his name. I'm very angry with him
Why? Is there another girI in UncIe's Iife?
Another girI? He's a married man! - You've faIIen for a married man?
He's very honest and straightforward. He hid nothing from me
That's why I Iove him. - UncIe sure has it made!
By the way, I'm Pyare Mohan. - Hi!
But you can caII me Pyare (dear one). Your friendIy neighbour
I've just arrived from DeIhi. I'm struggIing to become a fiIm-star!
I'm Sonia, a modeI. And Sameer's a bone-speciaIist
It's Iate now. Good night. - Wait, wait, wait
Here's Sameer's card. PIease caII him and teII him that I'm stiII aIive
And that there's no need for him to meet me
Sure, I'II caII him
Good night, Pyare
This is Naina, from Dr MaIhotra's cIinic. What's happening?
Why haven't the X-rays arrived? PIease hurry up
Thai PaviIion? Dr MaIhotra's cIinic. His food hasn't arrived yet
It's one aIready. PIease make it quick
Excuse me, ma'am. - Yes?
How much time wiII it take? - Your turn's next. In 5 minutes
PIease be seated
And when's my turn coming, darIing? - You...? What is it?
Do I say it right here, or do we go out?
What on earth do you want? - You!
You know, had you not been the doctor's friend...
I wouIdn't ever Iet you get into this cIinic
You won't Iet me into the cIinic, your hearth, your heart...
are you some sort of watchdog?
Now Iook... - I couId Iook aII my Iife
Right now, the doctor is examining a patient
I know what sort of patient he examines!
WeII? What aiIment is it?
The moment I see you, I go weak in the knees
CaIcium deficiency. - There's a pain in my Iower-back
You suffer a sIipped-disc. - My heart keeps hammering away
Have your choIesteroI checked. - The whoIe of my body's on fire!
Looks Iike you're running a fever. - Hey... don't spin a yarn
Now hurry up and come in my arms! PIease!
How can I controI myseIf? This is no wafer... it's a proper girI!
Listen... do you know? I'm a married man
So...? When have I asked you to divorce your wife?
But you must atIeast keep meeting me Iike oId times
I wiII. But not now. - When?
Next June. - Now!
June! - Now!
Naina!
Let go! Somebody heIp me! Naina!
Let go! Let go!
For God's sake! I'm a married man!
Heave ho!
Are you aII right? - How dare you!
But I was onIy heIping you. - Is this what you caII heIp?
Doctor, teII your friend to behave himseIf! InsoIent!
How do you toIerate her? - I'm toIerating this one...
I'm controIIing myseIf... what a great character I have!
CouIdn't you find a proper nurse? - Catch you Iater!
There can't be a better nurse than Naina
She takes care of the cIinic, of my food... everything
Like a good wife. The onIy difference is...
after work, she goes to her own house. And I head for Sonia's pIace
Great setting! Mind-bIowing!
''Sameer, by the time you read this, I wiII not be in this worId - Sonia''
Doctor! You've got maiI!
Send the maIe out. Send the femaIe in!
It's from Sonia, doctor. - ReaIIy? What does it say?
''By the time you read this message, I won't be in this worId - Sonia''
Sorry, sorry... - Sonia!
Doctor, how about your appointments? - CanceI aII my appointments!
HeIIo! Pyare here. TeII Doctor UncIe that Sonia's stiII aIive
Sonia's stiII aIive...? Doctor!
Dr Sameer...? - Later, Iater
Where has the doctor gone? - I don't know
And what are you doing?
How about pIaying doctor-doctor in there?
Hey! What are you doing?
I knew it! I knew it! - What did you know?
You know how many patients I've Ieft behind? And you...?
you're not even dead! You're merriIy sipping coffee
I'm sorry. It hurts you to see me aIive, isn't it?
I know what your probIem is! I didn't come to your fashion show Iast night
But how couId I? I had an emergency case to attend!
The poor guy had seventeen fractures in his Ieg
He came Iimping to me... in agony!
ShouId I have attended to him or watched you on the ramp...?
Lies! You went out with your wife
What? When I hate that woman, how can I ever go out with her?
Give that a thought! Think it over!
Hey! Who's that? And why's he getting in from the window?
I'm mending what I wrecked yesterday
Sameer, that's Pyare. My new neighbour
In that case, stay in your house
Why get into the neighbour's pIace through the window?
That too, haIf-cIad?
So you're Doctor UncIe, the bone-speciaIist!
See? Sonia's aIive. Had I not arrived on time yesterday, Sonia wouId have...
ReaIIy? - ReaIIy?
Everything eIse Iater. But Iet me at Ieast thank you first, Pyare-ji
Thank you, thank you...
Bye Pyare. - Bye
Such a grown up girI and you were out to kiII yourseIf because of me?
In this day and age, girIs cIaim Iives. They don't Iay down their own
I'm just a bone-speciaIist. An orthopedic surgeon
And not a very good one at that. I'm not God to save you!
PIay mindgames with your boyfriend. OnIy mindgames
Pretend to die... but don't reaIIy die
PIease don't die
Sameer... who do I have except you?
But I'm here for you, am I not? I'm here for you!
I'II marry you. - No, I know you won't marry me
Of course, I wiII! - No! I say you wiII not
What I mean is that I wiII. I wiII marry you
ReaIIy? - AbsoIuteIy
Lay off, you fraud and cheat!
I'II never Iet your scheme work! - Who's that? Pyare...?
Was he saying that to me? To me...?
CaIm down, Sameer. Pyare's just a struggIing actor
He's rehearsing his Iines. - ReaIIy?
But how wiII you marry me? You aIready have a wife
I'm going to divorce the wretch! - I've seen through you, you fraud!
You Iove pIaying with the Iives of innocent girIs...? Rogue!
Rogue...? He said that to me!
Oh no, it's nothing. It's nothing
What are you doing? Someone might see us
Who? - Pyare
Where did Pyare spring from in our romance?
Looks Iike we'II have to spend the week-end out of town!
''This girI has made off with my heart...''
''in just a gIimpse, she has given me the high of Iove''
''I want to spend the rest of my Iife with you...''
''oh my Iove''
''This girI has made off with my heart...''
''in just a gIimpse, she has given me the high of Iove''
''I want to spend the rest of my Iife with you...''
''oh my Iove''
''My heart is smitten by you''
''My heart is smitten by you, I'm bowIed over by you''
''Your charms are indeed fataI, sweetheart''
''Without as much as a word, you've said everything, darIing''
''in just a gIimpse, you have given me the high of Iove''
''I want to spend the rest of my Iife with you...''
''oh my Iove''
''Sweetheart, your heartbeat...''
''Ever since our hearts are beating together...''
''it feeIs as if Spring has arrived in my Iife''
''Without as much as a word, you've said everything, darIing''
''in just a gIimpse, you have given me the high of Iove''
''I want to spend the rest of my Iife with you...''
''oh my Iove''
You're a greater singer. I hope you can cook as weII?
Of course, why not?
When we can sing a duet together, we can even cook up a meaI together
You and I
No, no. That's your right. I can't snatch it from you
You're the one who'II handIe the cooking
HeIIo. Sorry to disturb you. I'm from the management
How did you find MaIdives? - BeautifuI
Shazia.... you? - You are...?
Sameer MaIhotra! - Oh my God! How are you?
I'm okay
Sonia, she's my friend Avinash's wife
How's the oId rascaI? - Your friend has divorced me
Oh, I'm sorry. - But I'm not
There came another girI into your friend's Iife, and he waIked out on me
Anyway, pIease enjoy yourseIves. And Iet me know if you need anything
Thank you. - Okay
The scoundreI! The two-timing rascaI!
He was a bad photographer anyway. He aIso turned out to be a bad husband
Why? You're aIso Ieaving your wife, aren't you?
But mine is a different case. AItogether different
What's different? Now Iook, Sameer. I want to meet your wife
You want to meet my wife! What for? Why?
Didn't you see the pain in Shazia's eyes?
I don't want to hurt someone to win over my Iove
I've got to meet her once. - Look, it's not possibIe
Why not? - When I say it's not, it's not!
Because... - Because what?
Because... once you get the toothpaste out of a tube...
you can't put it back in
And my wife's a gone-case! She's not coming back
You'II take me to her if you Iove me! - How? I'm not even married!
There's no wife! - What...?
You mean you Iied to me, Sameer?
I feII in Iove with you because I thought you were an honest man!
But you've turned out to be Iike aII the other men! I hate you!
Hating me is aII right. But who are the other men...?
Who are the other men?
As if anyone commits suicide in such shaIIow waters!
Sonia!
The water's very deep, Sonia! You're going to drown!
I'II introduce you to my wife! I wiII... pIease come out!
Sameer... wake up
When are you introducing me to your wife?
When are you introducing me to your wife? When...?
I wiII introduce you... Iet the pIane Iand first!
I'II introduce her to you tomorrow morning
I promise, I wiII. PIease go to sIeep
HeIIo, doctor!
I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse
Are you not a doctor? - No
The doctor's on his way. But what's your probIem?
ProbIem...? It's my Iegs! It's Iike they're not there at aII
But how come you're...? - Let's skip the detaiIs
It's a painfuI story. Your ear-drums wiII expIode if you hear it
ReaIIy? So Iet's skip it then. - No, how can we skip it?
Since you've mentioned it, Iet's get on with it now!
I was in the army during the KargiI war
Can you see the scenario?
During the KargiI war, I got right into Lahore...
my gun, spitting fire! Soon I saw, I had run out of ammo...
and the war was aIso over! I was caught
For twenty days, they hung me upside down...
and kept hitting me in my Iegs with sticks!
However...
Iook at my spirit!
My bones were creaking... but I didn't utter a word!
ControI yourseIf. - Good morning, Naina
Good morning, doctor! This is... what name did you say?
Thapa. - Yes. Thapa was in the army
The enemy broke his Iegs. - So you weren't born with the handicap?
No. - What's the matter with you then?
What wiII I say to you, doctor...?
there's just no sensation or feeIing in my Iower-haIf!
Everything can rise, but not my Iegs! They refuse to work!
They'II work in a moment. Give those crutches to me
C'mon, foIIow me. - Hey...
I can't waIk! - I know you can do it! C'mon!
A soIdier of the Indian army! - C'mon over... very good! Bravo!
You're aImost there... very good! Yes, yes...
Thanks for the support
No probIem. HoId this
But where does every girI think Iike you?
PeopIe poke fun at me! They caII me a crippIe and a twisted man!
But you're so different... and the most beautifuI
Nobody wiII say that you ever again. Now Iie down, I want to examine you
Time's a probIem today. I mustjoin my regiment's pizza party...
I'II come some other day
Amazing guys, these soIdiers. AII they need is some motivation
Sameer, when are you introducing me to your wife?
TeII me... - Doctor...
Why's he Iooking at me Iike that? - Very soon
In fact, you'II meet her tomorrow. - Sure?
Hundred per cent. Bye, Sonia
What's gotten into him aII of a sudden?
Naina... - Yes?
Have you arranged for some Iunch?
I've ordered your favourite from the Thai PaviIion
CanceI that order! You and I are going out for Iunch
Are you reaIIy taIking to me?
Yes. There's no eIse around. Is there, Naina?
No, but in the Iast five years, you've never... I mean....
Sure, five years. But I've finaIIy invited you, see?
I'm famished. ShaII we go? - Of course, Iet me change and come!
Where to...?
In there, of course. I'm sorry. - What a yawn!
Isn't it amazing? I invited you to Iunch...
you chose the restaurant and even ordered the food
Guess why. - Why?
That's because you've gotten to know me so weII
And I don't know anything about you. So teII me something about your Iife, Naina
About my Iife...? - Yes
Mine's a very interesting Iife, doctor - ReaIIy?
From 10 in the morning to 8 in the evening, I'm with you at the cIinic
At 8:30, I get home and bathe tiII 9
From 9 to 9:30 I cook, and finish my dinner by 10
At ten I start watching the Discovery channeI... and I go to sIeep
At 6 in the morning, Ramu arrives and wakes me up IovingIy and...
Ramu? - The miIkman
At 7, I get ready and Ieave for work at 8
From ten to eight, I spend time at the cIinic with you...
Listen, sir, it's interesting... - Oh yes, very interesting Iife, Naina!
Why do I get the feeIing that if I ever faced a probIem in Iife...
you'd sureIy heIp me out? - You're not wrong at aII, doctor
You can try me out anytime
That's exactIy why I've caIIed you here today
Naina... - Yes?
WiII you be my wife?
I...?
She's actuaIIy bIushing!
Naina, Naina... it's onIy for haIf an hour
Say 15 minutes?
Okay! 10 minutes!
Are you kidding...? - No, I'm terribIy serious
Aren't you ashamed? You've fIirted with so many girIs and now...
you think I'm one of them? - No! You're getting it aII wrong!
AII wrong! - You made it so cIear...
and you say I'm getting it wrong? - Don't you know...?
I teII every girI that I'm a married man
Is anyone Iistening...?
So they won't cIing to me Iater. - That is your probIem
No, that's not my probIem. My probIem is that I've faIIen in Iove with Sonia
And she wants to meet my wife, who... - Just doesn't exist
I can't do it, doctor. - Why not?
Why not! Because I can't deceive someone!
But this is not deceiving... - I say, I can't do it. And that's it!
PIease! For the sake of my happiness!
No, doctor. Your happiness Iies in your own hands
AII I hoId in my hands is your appointments diary...
the patients' Iist and the things you use... or want to use
Thank you for the Iunch, sir
Where wiII I get a wife for haIf an hour...?
Sonia, my wife died Iast night. I buried her this morning!
That won't work... so what am I going to do?
Aunt! We want an ice-cream!
Give them what they want, pIease
Listen, don't go anywhere. I'II be back in a moment, okay?
Don't move. Okay? Promise? - Promise
Bye,.. come back soon!
Mrs Naina MaIhotra. - Hi, I'm Sonia. Nice to meet you
Very nice to meet you. Sameer said you wanted to meet me
That's right. ShaII we move there and have a chat?
Sameer said the two of you want to get married?
That's right. But unIess you... you understand what I mean, no?
Oh, of course! The divorce papers are ready. It'II come through soon enough
Don't worry. - I'm sorry, but...
I can't teII you how happy I am!
But you're not sad... are you, Mrs MaIhotra?
Oh, caII me Naina!
So far, I've Iived onIy for Sameer. And now, I want to Iive for myseIf
I want my freedom
May I ask you a question? - Sure. PIease!
Do you reaIIy Iove Sameer? - I can even die for him
In fact, I even tried to twice. - ReaIIy?
WiII you ever be abIe to forget Sameer?
Oh yes, here's this man I've spent years with...
Iooked after his food habits, his smaII needs...
picked up his handkerchiefs, put up with his IifestyIe...
it's going to be a bit difficuIt. But that's okay, don't worry about it
Naina, you're very sweet
For you. - No, I can't take it
You must. It's a gift from me. PIease keep it
Thank you
You're very sweet too. - Thank you
Sameer's a Iucky guy. Thank you
Here I come... hoId on!
I'm so sorry! I'm Iate, ain't I?
Since you're angry with me, I'II eat up the ice-cream!
C'mon, c'mon! Let's go
Looks Iike she's taking a bath. A bath!
Bathing in there, Sonia? WouIdn't it be fun...
if you and I bathed together... taking the showers to be a speII of rain?
What do you think, Sonia? PIease teII me
What are you doing here? - I was doing my exercise
ObviousIy, I was bathing in the bathroom
Take a bath in your bathroom! Where's Sonia?
What...?
Sameer... don't be angry. There's no water in his bathroom
I see!
One buiIding, one water-tank, one connection...
and there's no water in his bathroom...? PIease expIain
That's because my pipe is choked
I see. Guess what, Sonia...?
Are you going to stand around naked aII day?
I'm Ieaving! I know, the sight of my physique gives you the creeps
FeeIing insecure, aren't you?
Bye. - Bye.
Sameer, I made a new friend yesterday. She's such a sweet girI
Introduce me to her. You introduce them onIy to Pyare
Why not me and a sweetie pie? - But you've met her aIready
Have I...? - Naina
Naina? The name rings a beII
Idiot! Naina, your wife! - Was Naina here...?
did Naina come and see you?!
I reaIised after meeting her what mistakes we can make
You did, didn't you?
What a big mistake I made by marrying Naina!
No, it's my mistake. I'm breaking your home
I'm a terribIe person, right?
Sonia, my marriage was aIready on the rocks, even before you arrived
Your arrivaI has saved my Iife
EIse, I'd sureIy have died, attempting suicide again and again Iike you
So how about the kids? Sameer, when a marriage breaks...
and a divorce takes pIace, it takes a terribIe toII on the chiIdren
You're right! AbsoIuteIy right
The chiIdren's mentaI baIance must not be tampered with!
We'II never teII our chiIdren about my previous marriage
I'm not taIking about the chiIdren who're not born
What about those who're aIready there? - What...?
You have chiIdren...?!
Not my chiIdren. Your chiIdren. - My chiIdren?
Where did they spring from? - Sameer, you're too much!
Just because you fought with your wife, are you going to spurn your chiIdren too?
Two IoveIy chiIdren! - Two...?
So Naina came with the kids? - Yes
Smart! - Sameer, I want to meet your chiIdren
I want to shower my Iove on them. - Their dad's standing right here...
meet their dad, shower your Iove on their father!
No, I'II have to meet them after the marriage, isn't it?
I want to pIay with them, take them out...
come to think of it, they'II get Iove from two mothers!
No need to give them extra Iove! The Iove of one mother...
has spoiIt them so much, they don't recognise their father!
You're not meeting them! - ReaIIy? I'm not meeting them?
No? - No!
Sonia! Sonia!
Where are you...? Hey! What are you doing in here?
I broke in from the window to save her Iife
Had you used your brains, you couId've saved her Iife too
It's onIy common sense. - What common sense? Nonsense!
What nonsense? You faII in Iove and I puII the rescuing act?
Here's your Iove. Take over! - Can't you carry her to the couch?
Look at this guy!
The chiIdren... - Yes, I'II take you to the chiIdren...
provided you give up this chiIdishness! PIease!
ReaIIy? - ReaIIy
I'm so happy now! - Are you?
There was this King, okay? And he had two queens...
Why does every king have two queens?
I don't know, go to sIeep. It's Iate in the night...
and you have your exams tomorrow. Hurry up and go to sIeep. Not a sound!
What if we don't sIeep? - You'II get a thrashing
Wait tiII I get there!
Sir...? You...? - Sir, sir, sir...?
you made me bow my head out of shame today!
I...? - You hid from me...
the fact that you have two chiIdren! Without even getting married!
You're a bigger Iiar than me! - That's enough, sir, enough
They're my sister's chiIdren, not mine
My sister and her husband are getting a divorce, so they're here...
at the hosteI and spend the weekend with me. You're just raving away...
this is not done! - I'm sorry, I'm sorry
But why did you have to take the two of them to Sonia?
She now thinks you're my wife and they're our chiIdren!
That shouId make you happy! It makes your drama even better
Better? BuIIshit!
And buIIshit's never any good. It's aIways buIIshit!
And Sonia now wants to meet these two buIIshit kids!
But what wiII the kids say to Sonia? - Lies
Lies? No way! These chiIdren wiII not say any Iies to anyone
What effect wiII it have on their deIicate minds?
Have you ever thought what effect it's aII having on my deIicate romance?
It's just for tomorrow. - Tomorrow?
No way! They got their exams tomorrow! How couId they...?
The skies won't faII if they fIunk their exams
I'II hire them as compounders. They'II pIay in the compound
Aunty, since he's insisting so much, say yes to him
EIse, he just won't Iet us sIeep
In any case, it'd be better if we don't appear for the exams tomorrow
What have you taught us anyway?
Now Iook...
These kids...? I think they'II Iie through their teeth to Sonia!
Sonia's going to be very happy. Come to me, kids... come to me!
Go to your room! At once! - At once, okay
Okay, sir, you'II have the kids... - Thank you
But why am I doing aII this? Why? - It's Iike this, Naina
There's no answer to every ''why'' and ''how come'' in Iife
Hi! Here are the kids! Now don't ask to see their kids
ChiIdren, whom do you Iike more between Mummy and Daddy?
TeII her. - Neither of them!
What...?
Now Iet me ask you a question
How do chiIdren come into this worId?
ChiIdren are God's gifts. An angeI descends from the skies...
with the baby wrapped in rose-petaIs...
gives the baby to the mother and goes away
Hear that? - What?
She doesn't know a thing!
OnIy you couId have such chiIdren! I'II fetch something for them to eat
How couId you say that to her? - UncIe, nice girI you've scored with!
UncIe, he snatched my ice-cream! - You ought to be ashamed!
Go on, son. - Thank you, UncIe
Aren't you ashamed to take other peopIe's chiIdren out, UncIe?
Shut up now, wiII you...? - ''UncIe'' ?
Other peopIe's chiIdren...? What's aII this about?
What wiII I say, Sonia? Their mother has taught them...
to caII me uncIe and caII her boyfriend Papa!
Does Naina even have a boyfriend? - That's why I'm Ieaving her
How I've yearned to hear them caII me ''Papa'' !
Do you know Naina's boyfriend? - No. I don't want to, either
But I want to meet him. - But why? Whatever for?
We must see what sort of a man he is, eIse Iives wiII be ruined
I'd be so gIad to see Naina's Iife being ruined
Not Naina's Iife. The chiIdren's Iives
If he turns out to be a nasty man, won't the chiIdren's Iives suffer?
I got to meet him
Got to meet him. Got to!
You first said I was your wife, then the mother of two chiIdren. Now...?
aren't you ashamed at aII? - Of course I'm ashamed!
I'm so ashamed, I'm hiding my face! And begging you...
just once, just once, if Sonia sees you with a man...
aII my probIems in Iife wiII be soIved!
No, your probIem won't be soIved. Don't ask me to do it, I can't!
PIease... for my sake! For your doctor's sake!
I'II never ask you for anything ever again!
Promise? - Promise
But where wiII we get a guy from? - Do you have a friend or boyfriend?
I have no boyfriends. You'II have to find one
Found him! - Who?
My friend... I have just one friend!
That... - That... Vicky?
No way! I can't...
God, my name's at Iast on the Iady's Iips
Think of the deviI and here he is
Is there a probIem? - No probIem at aII
You'II have to pIay Naina's boyfriend for a few days
I'm wiIIing to do it for a Iifetime! - Acting... he'II onIy be acting!
I'II get into the skin of the roIe... and never come out of it!
I'm going out... to wash my hands
That sort of behaviour is going to affect my performance
For my sake... pIease? - Okay
What am I doing at such a boring pIace? - But I'm having a baII
What wiII you have? Whisky, rum, vodka, gin...?
I don't drink aII that. - But I wiII, okay?
Don't cIing to me! We're onIy pIay-acting. Behave yourseIf!
I'm an actor! I get into the skin of the character and never come out!
Waiter!
Get me a Iarge vodka with orange juice. - PIain orange juice for me, pIease
Look! Your wife! - Oh my God!
She's with her boyfriend! - Boyfriend?
Wasn't a six-bedroom house big enough...?
that she had to fIog my reputation in pubIic?
DisgracefuI woman! You shouId've atIeast waited for the divorce to come through!
I can't bear to see aII this. Let's go, Sonia
No! Let's see what they're upto
Must be romancing, what eIse!
I wish I were dead, before I saw a day Iike this!
Vicky, get cIoser to me, wiII you? - Don't teII me!
You're game aIready...? - Stupid... they're here
How I hate this! - Now just watch my performance
Attention everybody! HeIIo, Iadies and gentIemen!
I dedicate this IoveIy evening to my future wife, Naina!
The food and beverages are aII on the house!
Thank you, thank you
You were hamming away! - Was it too much?
You're buying everybody Iiquor, Vicky,.
do you have money even for a beer? - Hasn't Sameer given you any money?
He has. - So give it to me
What happened?
So what if I'm an actor? Have I no respect at aII?
Look, he's taking money from Naina! - Oh my God!
From under the tabIe!
Give it to me!
What a cheapskate! - My money, that is!
Why wouId you give her any money? - We're stiII married, you see
She keeps threatening me...
that she won't Iove my chiIdren if I don't give her the money!
And Iook at him guIping down Iarge drinks with my IittIe chiIdren's money!
Why're you Iooking Iike that me? I'm feeIing scared
Know what? You got two ears and two eyes
Everybody does! - ReaIIy?
But you have two noses!
And two gIasses!
No wonder I couIdn't get a kick!
I drank pIain orange-juice and you drank up my vodka!
What...? - This hoteI's going round and round!
Steady, steady...
Not me, idiot! Steady the hoteI! - Now how wiII I steady the hoteI?
Are they watching? - Yes
So Iet me give you a kiss...
Vicky, Vicky...?
That's my girI... my girIfriend. Got to go... Iet go!
What were you upto? - I'II expIain in a quiet corner
What was I doing? She was the one doing whatever there was!
But who's she? - She's... my producer
She's producing my forthcoming fiIm. The titIe is, ''Bodies... and bodies''
Disgusting! - No, even famiIies can watch it...
separateIy, that is. Got to do it, you know
If I make her happy... my Iife wiII be made
I got to go through the grind to make it as a hero
My shoes are worn out, my Iips are being worn out today...
I don't know what eIse I'm going to wear out
You understand, don't you? You do understand? I Iove you!
I Iove you!
Bye, bye!
Sameer, your wife's boyfriend was romancing with another girI!
This is too much!
Forget it. - How can we forget it?
What effect wiII it have if any man becomes your chiIdren's step-father?
Come, Iet's reason with him.
Doctor! This is my new boyfriend. - Doctor, you're a great guy!
You gave me your wife and aIso two ready made chiIdren!
No hassIes of pregnancy! - Shut up!
You're fIirting with another women when my wife is around?
What does my wife Iack?
If she Iacks nothing, why are you Ieaving her?
Yes, answer that! Speak up! - Shut up! You ingrate!
I've tended to Naina as if she were a tender rose!
If she as much as sheds a tear after your marriage...
I'II make sure you have a bIeeding nose!
Nice indeed! Drive a second-hand car and even Iisten to his abuses!
Whom did he caII second-hand...? Bye!
Sameer, just Ieave Naina. - I aIready have
OnIy the divorce has to come through. - I mean, drop her home
He's not a nice guy. - Who'II drop you home then?
I'm absoIuteIy sober and Naina's not in her senses
Go on. She's stiII your wife. Go... Go on
''My veiI sIips away...''
''my ankIets chime...''
''my bangIes tinkIe...''
''Oh, this restIessness...''
''I'm indeed bitten by the Iove-bug''
''Ever since I've met you, something has stirred in my heart''
''I'm indeed bitten by the Iove-bug''
''I was IoneIy at heart...''
''I was a mystery even to myseIf'
''I wonder what has come over me...''
''aII I feeI is a high everywhere''
''You charms are quite something eIse today...''
''you sure are Iost to yourseIf'
''Oh, this restIessness...''
''I'm indeed bitten by the Iove-bug''
''What ecstasy takes over? My heart's in a strange bind''
''I'm going astray, my resoIve is beginning to wiIt''
''There's craziness in the air...''
''we're going astray, our youthfuIness is compeIIing''
''Oh, this restIessness...''
''I'm indeed bitten by the Iove-bug''
''My veiI sIips away...''
''my ankIets chime...''
''my bangIes tinkIe...''
''Oh, this restIessness...''
''I'm indeed bitten by the Iove-bug''
A gift...?
Wow, Sameer! It's a sari!
This is the sari you'II wear when you meet my mother
WiII it do if I wear a bikini? - WiII do
Provided you wear it inside the sari. - Okay
So the doctor has finaIIy wooed you! - What do you mean?
I aIways thought you were a girI with a Iot of seIf-respect
So I am. You doubt that?
It's a question of rights! The doctor is stiII not divorced
His wife has a greater right to this sari
You can keep it, if you wish to...
but wouIdn't it be better if you had accepted it after the marriage, right?
Think! - I think he's right
Excuse me, ma'am. - Yes?
There's a parceI for Mrs Naina MaIhotra
Yes, okay
''I Iove you - Sameer''
Lie down. - I beg you, I don't want to be cured
I can't Iet you Ieave without a cure. - But you can't twist my arm!
If God wants me to Iead the Iife of a crippIe...
it's okay with me. What's your probIem?
God wants you to get weII. So Iie down
God has His wiII. You have a wiII And so do I!
I want to Iimp to death! Try to get the depth of what I'm saying, doctor!
I'm enjoying being a crippIe. I'm very happy with myseIf
Even if you cure my Iegs, you're going to do the waIking... not me!
AII right, Iie down. I'II take an x-ray
What wiII you do with an x-ray? PIease try to understand, doctor!
What a stubborn doctor! I hope he doesn't chop off my Iimbs!
Give me Thapa's fiIe, wiII you? - What?
Thapa's fiIe
Thank you. - You're weIcome
This is Kumar's fiIe. - Sorry, doctor
Sorry. - It's okay
Thank you
What's this? - What?
How couId it be? - Is it a new disease?
This is impossibIe! - What is it? A cancer in my Iegs?
TeII me something, wiII you? - Oh no!
At Ieast teII me how many more days I've got, doctor!
What's happening to me?
My Iegs are aII right, what's he worked up about?
Is this a hospitaI or a garage?
HeIIo everybody!
Very Ioud music, you see. Got to change the DJ
But Iet's groove to it. C'mon
Excuse me, mister. A photo, pIease?
No photo... this is my private time!
How these guys disturb us! They're crawIing everywhere!
Not your photograph. I want you to photograph us together
I don't take pictures of animaIs. - AnimaIs?
C'mon, baby! Let's enjoy
He's pIaying hero with that girI. ''I'm not taking the picture''
Hey hero... that's my drink. - But I ordered it
I don't care for your order! - I pIaced... the order
Let go! - May I?
I Iet go!
What are you doing? Make him see reason, auntie!
She Iooks Iike an auntie to you?
Auntie socked UncIe!
Pyare! Go and hit back!
Me? Get into a fight? But I'm a chocoIate hero!
Get up!
Let him go. - Get Iost!
I've been saying I'm sorry, you just won't Iet go!
Save him! - I wiII, I wiII... nice punch
TeII me something. Why did you give Naina the gift I gave you?
UntiI you and Naina are divorced, she has a right to everything that's yours
ReaIIy...? Who keeps giving you such bright ideas?
Pyare. - Pyare?
No, not my face! - Why not?
I make a Iiving out of it. That's why
So where do I hit you? - Here, here, here...
or even here
Save me from this beast, wiII you?
Freeze there! Why fight a kid? Fight someone your size!
Him? My foot he'II save you! - He caIIed you a coward! Chicken!
No reaction
''Just chiII, chiII... just chiII''
''Let our hearts come together, my Iove...''
''just chiII, chiII... just chiII''
''Sweetheart, Iet our hearts come together...''
''just chiII, chiII... just chiII''
''I Iove you ardentIy too... so encourage me, wiII you?''
''Just chiII, chiII... just chiII''
''When dusk sets in...''
''it awakens my desires''
''Yours is the speII that is cast on me... sweetheart''
''Without you, I Iike nothing''
''I see onIy your face... everywhere''
''You possess kiIIer charms, my Iove''
''Just chiII, chiII... just chiII''
''Kiss me, sway with me...''
''there's fun in this mischief'
''OnIy those who have faIIen in Iove know...''
''that Iove is nothing but a high''
''It's difficuIt to reason with the heart, my Iove...''
''just chiII, chiII... just chiII''
''I Iove you ardentIy too... so encourage me, pIease''
''Just chiII, chiII... just chiII''
Let our hearts get together...
Good night. - Good night?
As if I'm going to Iet you off so easiIy
It must be dark on the staircase. I'II see you off at the door
Don't worry, I'm with her. I'II take her in the Iift
I made a mistake by giving you a Iift
DarIing... coffee! Treat me to a cup of coffee!
HeIIo! This happens to be a house, not a cafeteria!
DarIing, the next time he's with you, I'm not going out with you anywhere
In any case, the next time we meet wiII be when you're divorced
No coffee, no tea, no me
That's the Indian girI! She's send the doc in a twirI!
So get going. - Sonia...
I forgot to teII you something. - What?
I'm divorcing Naina in the court at 10 on Monday morning
So I'II watch the divorce proceedings with you at the court on Monday!
And Iater at eIeven, I'II have a cup of coffee with you. Okay?
Run out of gas, haven't you?
You Iook so happy! What's the probIem?
I toId Sonia I'm getting divorced in the court at ten on Monday
She aIso wants to attend. She has caIIed ten times aIready
There... that's the eIeventh caII
HeIIo, Sonia. - What time?
9:30 - Monday morning, right?
Yes, Monday morning. Okay? Bye
So take her aIong! - But what court ...?
Now, is your marriage reaI or fake? - Fake
Your wife's reaI or fake? - Fake
The divorce is fake...? - Fake
So why can't we fake a court? - What rubbish
I'm taIking about a fiImi court! - What a fantastic idea!
Doctor, you weren't keeping too weII. Isn't it?
Here's Vicky... with a cure
I have a cure for you, too
As Iong as you're the disease, a cure's very difficuIt
Listen, Naina. For the Iast time, you must put on an act with me on Monday
No, doctor. No... - We'II finaIIy be divorced
ReaIIy? - ReaIIy
After that, you and I wiII get married. Love you
I'II have to wash my hand again! - WiII she take a bath if I embrace her?
TeII your wife how she's supposed to behave with her boyfriend
Wow! I can hear the beIIs ringing! You Iook soIid!
I'm going the court. Sameer's divorce is coming through today
Here comes the spoiIsport. - What?
The bone-speciaIist!
Congrats on your divorce. - Thank you
I'm going with you too. - Where to?
To the court. - What for?
I've seen a Iot of weddings in my Iifetime!
But I've never seen a divorce!
I have a Iot of probIems anyway
To make it worse, Mom's arriving from Punjab
And I can't make up my mind, must I go and recieve my mother...
or go to the court and divorce Mrs Naina MaIhotra
Pyare wiII receive your mother! You wiII, won't you Pyare?
Anything for you! - Step here, pIease
UncIe, how am I going to recognise your mother?
You want some identification? - Yes
Now Iook there...
you'II recognise her aII right!
That must be the doctor's mother!
A woman traveIs 30 hours from Punjab to meet her son...
and you demand to see her ticket? You ask a mother for a ticket?
Ass! What if I were your mother? - Forgive me, Iady...
I'II never ask a mother to show me her ticket again. I swear it on my Mom!
What was that one for? - You won't ask a mother for her ticket?
Do you own the raiIways? Here's the ticket
Now where's my Sameer? - I've recognised you!
Sameer's Mummy, right? I'm his friend, Pyare
Whoever you are, makes no difference to me!
Just teII me where my son is! - He can't come today
He's getting divorced!
What was that one for? - Before a divorce...
there's got to be a marriage. You understand?
What a moron! He doesn't know! - But your son is aIready married
And he's getting divorced today. - God AImighty!
My son got married and he's even getting divorced today...
and there I was in Punjab, tending to the famiIy business!
Which court is giving them a divorce? Take me there, wiII you?
Keep your mouth shut and Iet's hurry up before it's too Iate
Attention ye aII...
The Emperor of India, JaI AI Ud-din Akbar... cometh
What's he taIking about? - I couIdn't find anyone eIse
The Iast movie he did was ''MughaI-E-Azam''
Those are the Iines he repeats. I'II deduct it from his fee
Let the proceedings begin
Sir, the marriage of Sameer and Naina has hit a roadbIock
So Iet me question her
Naina-ji... - Yes?
When did you reaIise that you couId no Ionger Iive with this scoundreI?
The very next day of the marriage. - Don't teII me!
So why did you toIerate him aII these years?
It's so disgusting, Your Honour. However bad a government is...
we have to toIerate it for five years!
Order! Order
So Sameer, what probIem did you have with her?
Mr Judge, what does a man Iook for in his wife?
He wants her to cook Iike his mother...
and Iove him in bed, Iike his girIfriend
But her case was just the opposite, sir!
In the kitchen, she Ioved me Iike my girIfriend and said...
''DarIing, I'm not in the mood to cook today''
''Why don't we order the food from outside?''
And in bed, she used to scream at me Iike my mother!
''Go to sIeep, it's very Iate. You got to Ieave for work in the morning''
What sort of a marriage is this, sir? - Amazing! Is this what happened?
Say something... anything
He used to chase other girIs!
If a girI showed him her finger, he reached for her hand!
And if a girI showed him her hand, he...
Never mind, it's okay... - I won't be abIe to say it
That's not the way he is, sir! - Thank you, Sonia
When a man has starved for five years...
won't he go berserk in a sweetmeat shop?
You teII me, sir! - SiIence!
Nobody's going to taIk about sweetmeat here
I suffer from diabetes
Sorry to hear that, sir
Drive sIowIy, Iady... you want to get me kiIIed?
Watch out, wiII you?!
Let me drive in peace, Pyare
Don't stand up, pIease!
Mr Sameer, how did you feeI when you got to know...
that your wife is having an affair with another man?
I feIt as if someone was enjoying a feast in a five-star hoteI...
and I was footing the biII. - What I mean is...
when did you get to know that she was having an affair with someone eIse?
Two years ago, sir. One night, when she was sIeeping with me...
she murmured, ''Sweetheart, I Iove your moustache''
I actuaIIy Iiked what she said. Then I was startIed!
HeII! I had no moustache!
Mr Sameer, a moustache is the symboI of a true man
Is itjust a moustache that you don't have...?
or aren't you a reaI maIe at aII? - Objection, Your Honour!
Objection, Your Honour!
Sameer is a true maIe. I know it
What's happening here? Everybody's raising objections!
Watch it, Iady! We'II go to the heavens, not the court!
Worry not, son! ''I set out in styIe...''
''I Ieave 'em aII behind, round the bend''
Just don't be afraid. Don't. - You're going to kiII a kid!
Mrs. MaIhotra, if you are divorced, who wiII the chiIdren Iive with?
They'II Iive with me. - No, Your Honour!
The chiIdren wiII Iive with me! They mean the Iife to me!
Don't separate my chiIdren from me, pIease!
Have you gone crazy...?
Keep the chiIdren with you! By aII means!
I appeaI to you to give my chiIdren to him. PIease, Your Honour!
No, Your Honour! I'm sorry, I just got seIfish!
Who eIse but a mother can take good care of the chiIdren?
Let her keep the chiIdren
Sir, this is no marriage, it's a coaIition government...
of so many poIiticaI parties, it can never Iast!
It's Iike a rotten movie that's going on and on... without getting over!
It's Iike a cricket match where there's a downpour after every over!
It's Iike a car without brakes, running over peopIe...
someone might get kiIIed! - PIease stop it!
PIease... grant them a divorce
PIease grant them a divorce. - PIease!
Out of the way, everybody! She's Iost her marbIes...
she's going to get me kiIIed! There's the court...
are you going to drive into it?
Doctor, the reaI courtroom drama begins now!
Victory to the doctor's mother!
There's going to be no divorce!
Who's snatching my daughter-in-Iaw from me?
What are you doing here, Mom...? - Mom!
ShameIess boy! You first get married without teIIing me...
and now you're even getting a divorce!
You're posing obstacIes in the court's proceedings
Just keep your mouth shut!
I've driven severaI crows Iike you away!
No divorce is taking pIace! - What's happening in my court?
But Ma, the judge has deIivered his verdict
A mother's verdict hoIds more importance than a judge's
She...? What a good date, son!
My daughter-in-Iaw is so sweet! - Ma...!
The whoIe of Punjab and Haryana wouId sway to her smiIe
In this Iove-story, there can be an intervaI...
but ''The End'' must never come
ShaII we...?
''Sweetheart...''
''in our dueI of Iove...''
''my bangIes dug into my wrist''
''My bangIes dug into my wrist''
''Sweetheart...''
''in our dueI of Iove...''
''I had to stay up in bed aII aIone''
''I stayed up in bed aII aIone''
''Every moment, I desire you''
''Your charm steaIs my very being''
''Oh, your hennaed paIms''
''And the way you bIush''
''Yes, I shied away...''
''from the dueI of Iove...''
''but the bangIes dug into my wrist''
''Impatience drove me crazy''
''The moonbeam set my heart racing...''
''as it feII Iike a thunder...''
''and I squirmed and writhed through the night''
''I Iost my sIeep...''
''in the dueI of Iove''
''I stayed up in bed aII aIone''
''Sweetheart...''
''in our dueI of Iove...''
''I stayed up in bed aII aIone''
''My bangIes dug into my wrist''
Sameer, what are you doing on the sofa? Get up
Ma, I'm sIeeping, Iet me sIeep. I'm tired of teIIing Iies
Go and reIax in your wife's arms, it'II refresh you. Get up
I've been doing that for five years. I want to rest in your Iap tonight
Sing a IuIIaby for me. - I'II kiII myseIf...
if you don't go to her. Get up
And Iisten! God heIps those who heIp themseIves
Go inside, get Iost! Go and win her over
It's my Lord! Can I be of any service?
ShaII I cIean your feet? Or shaII I massage your head?
What aII must I do in this bedroom? TeII me, pIease
Naina, I'm sorry but I'm not at fauIt. Ma...
Look, don't find fauIts with her
It's your mistake. AIso mine, in some way
Any mother wouId do this much for her son's happiness
It started as a joke and things have reached a height now
Fake wife, fake chiIdren, fake marriage, pretended Iaughter...
paying respects to your mother and taking her bIessings
AII those things that a woman dreams to do...
have become a joke for me
I don't understand what I must...
Look Naina, I know that...
to keep Ma and Sonia happy...
I've hurt you badIy
However, I never hid anything from you...
though I used you
I'm sorry
If you think, you've had enough, and if you want to Ieave...
you certainIy can
You may Ieave
Go
You are very bad
I know. Thank you, Naina
Ma, everything is fine!
Sonia, here are the divorce papers! Naina has signed them
I'II get a divorce in 20 days, and we'II marry on the 21st
Pyare...?
Yes, it's me
Which nightgown wouId you prefer for the night, Sonia?
This one? Or this one?
This one. - Okay
What are you doing here? And what are you doing with Sonia's nighties?
I'm not wearing them, I'm packing them
Pyare is so sweet. See, he's heIping me do the packing
Packing?
Where are you going? - Abroad
For a shoot. - When?
Tonight. - Tonight? Where?
Dubai. - For how many days?
OnIy seven days. Want to come aIong?
I wish I couId! But for the appointments and patients
Sonia, anything eIse you'd Iike for the nights?
No, that wiII be aII. - Son, I'II pack your things some day
And I'II have you maiIed to a pIace from where you can never return
UncIe, why deIay then? Do it now
Lay off
Sameer, why do you fIare up on Pyare?
Because I can't fIare up on you
You are going away for a week! - OnIy a week
Not ''onIy a week'', it's seven days!
It couId even be TEN days!
ShaII I come there? - No, uncIe!
If he ever faIIs iII, send him over to me
Okay, done
I've packed some cashew nuts too. The vitamin tonic is very important
Give me the water bottIe. Did you pack his undergarments?
I've packed them. - WeII done, very good
She's going to Punjab
Ma, are you going to Punjab? PIease don't go, Ma
I'm not going to Punjab. I'm sending you and Naina abroad, for a honeymoon
I can't stand Naina tiII the gate, and you want me to go abroad with her, Ma?
Son, in a marriage, if Iove goes coId...
you must season it with romance and refreshen it
What are you doing there, dear?
Go abroad, shower your husband with Iots of kisses...
and win him back
But Ma... - No buts. Keep your mouth shut
And hoId the tickets. - I don't want to go
I know you wiII send me on a piIgrimage
Hey! This is the pIace where Sonia is going!
Ma, you are a IittIe Iate, but you are great!
I knew it, son, you'd never turn me down
Naina, Iet's go, darIing
Thank you, Mom. - You're weIcome
I'II be back
Ma is reaIIy amazing. I did a quick packing, you know?
By the way, where are we going? - Not ''we''
I'm going aIone
WeII? You are kidding, aren't you?
Aren't you?
But how wiII you go aII aIone on a honeymoon?
Why aII aIone? LuckiIy, Sonia is aIready there
I get it. I stay back, you fIy
Right. - Okay. Anything eIse?
Sure. You won't go out of the house untiI I return. EIse, Ma wiII see you
Here's your bag. - Anything eIse?
You teII me. What do I get for you?
A husband, who never Iies
You'II have to find him for yourseIf. AII right? Bye
Bye
Have a good trip. - I wiII
See ya. - Bye
Lucky girI Sonia
''The twists and turns in our Iove-story...''
''the worId wiII remember every moment''
''The twists and turns in our Iove-story...''
''the worId wiII remember every moment''
''Stop! Watch it''
''It's a Iove-triangIe''
''The twists and turns in our Iove-story...''
''the worId wiII remember every moment''
''Come, Iet's go somepIace far away''
''Every one is envious of us''
''Let's eIude every eye''
''Let's merge into the coIour of Iove''
''I'II buy you bangIes...''
''that the worId wiII remember''
''The twists and turns in our Iove-story...''
''the worId wiII remember every moment''
''Stay away! Don'tjam in''
''Or, you wiII be thrashed''
''The twists and turns in our Iove-story...''
''the worId wiII remember every moment''
''UndoubtedIy...''
''onIy I have the right to her''
''Time wiII teII...''
''who wins her''
''This game of Iove is not a joke...''
''the worId wiII remember that every moment''
''The twists and turns in our Iove-story...''
''the worId wiII remember every moment''
''Stop! Watch it''
''It's a Iove-triangIe''
What are you doing in Dubai? - Why? Does your father own Dubai?
Don't you abuse my father! - Why are you guys brawIing?
Pyare is here to heIp me at the shoot, as a friend
Ask your friend to beat it since your boyfriend is here now
PIease go away. - I won't. What wiII you do?
Look Pyare, I might even hit you. - Try raising a finger at me!
Look Pyare, I might even kiII if I Iose it
KiII? Try touching me with your naiI! - Forget it, Sameer
Pyare is quite tough. - Is he?
AII right. I think it was my mistake. Forget it
Mistake? What mistake? TeII me
My mistake! I shouId've thrashed you Iong ago
Are you aII right?
You hit me?
Mistake. Hit me if you want
UncIe, this is what you caII Iove-and-hit reIationship
Sonia, you Iook so pretty. You just needed a hat
How sweet! Thank you.
Pyare, are you trying to fIirt with my girIfriend?
I wish...
It is Pyare's gift! - I'II smash it...
and throw it in the water
Sameer, what have you done? I have to wear it for the shoot
Get my hat back
Forget the hat, and give me a smaII kiss
One who brings my hat back gets a kiss
Excuse me!
He Ioves me so much! Look, he justjumped
That's good. He'II bring the hat
Then he's the one who gets the kiss. - One who gets the hat?
Pyare, hurry
Jump
Sameer, quickIy
Go, Pyare
Go, Sameer
My kiss!
Give me back my shorts!
My shorts! Not fair, Sonia. Me and you...
Gopi, you are sIow, ass! Hurry up
I was checking the trousers
This one's fine. Gopi, buy a kurta for yourseIf
Lady... isn't that Naina?
How can Naina be here? - Wear your gIasses
Get back home!
Daughter-in-Iaw...
Did you see properIy? - Of course
Are you sure? - Dead sure
Where's she? Beats me
Gopi, did you see properIy? Was she reaIIy Naina?
Yes Iady, it was Naina
Gopi, where are you? Take me to my daughter-in-Iaw's house
Yes, Iady. But I don't know where she Iives
308, MiIton Apartments, Juhu KoIiwada, Mumbai 49
Let's hurry then
What's this? Not even aII your marks add up to 35 percent
That's it! The two of you are going to boarding schooI. FinaI
No Mummy
PIease Mummy, we don't want to go
Ma-ji... you? Here...? What...?
What's this? You have kids too?
No Ma-ji, actuaIIy...
My son's a rascaI, and his wife too turned out to be a Iiar
Sameer Iied to me and went abroad
You too hid away from me
That's fine, but the other day I saw you at the shopping maII
Where did you hide my sweet grandchiIdren?
No Ma-ji, pIease Iisten to me... they are...
No buts, keep your mouth shut
I was unfortunate, I had two fixed deposits in my account...
and I was desiring the principaI. I won't spare Sameer
Look at his eyes... hasn't he taken after his grandfather?
What...? - I'm so happy today
So happy that, if I had my way...
I'd decIare a pubIic hoIiday aII over India
Grandmother's Day! - She's so funny!
Thanks for the extra hoIiday
Sameer, get up
When wiII you introduce me to your mother?
When?
I wiII, I wiII
Won't you wait tiII the pIane Iands?
I wiII introduce you tomorrow. Now sIeep, pIease
Now pIease sIeep
WeIcome back, son. - It was great fun, Ma
But I missed you a Iot. - AII aIone? Where's your wife?
I dropped her, Ma. - Shut up, shameIess chap
I sent you with her so that you'd Iove her and pIacate her
I know, Ma. WeII, I can't hide anything from you now...
you are grown up. Know what, Ma? She doesn't know how to Iove
During Iovemaking, she's Iike an ascetic in a trance...
eyes shut, breath heId... she just doesn't know the art of Iovemaking
Thank God we don't have kids. Had we any kids...
weII, how couId we have kids? She has no idea how they come
Look behind you. - Ma...
Iike aII great men, I have sworn not to Iook behind
PeopIe wiII Iook at me and say, ''Wow Mr Sameer! New house...''
''new wife, and so many kids'' - WonderfuI
But Mr Sameer, just Iook behind. - ReaIIy?
Hi. - Aged mother, oId house...
oId wife, oId chiIdren
ChiIdren, your father is here. Greet him
Greetings, Papa
WonderfuI! - Pathetic!
Mr Sameer... - Where's my bed?
Mother-in-Iaw, Iet me Iive with you, I'II be a nice daughter-in-Iaw
I'II serve you, I'II cook...
I'II do the dishes, and wash the cIothes...
with VimIa detergent
Sonia, you are seIIing detergent here, and my Ma is beating me up there
Cut it!
What are you doing here, Sameer? - What's going on here?
Who's this? - Sir, I'm sorry, he's my boyfriend
Doctor Sameer. - Why pick on me, bro?
What'd you do if I barged into your operation theatre?
I'II administer a shot on your bum
But what are you doing here, buddy? - I just need 30 seconds, oIdie
Even I need to make a 30-seconds advertisement
But nobody's giving me an opportunity. Like Shekar Kapoor...
I'II aIso quit this country and migrate to Los AngeIes
Go right now! - Sorry sir...
Sonia, why aren't you answering my caIIs?
Because I want to meet your mother, not you
Ma?
The shot is ready, Iady. - But I'm not ready...
to introduce Sonia to my Ma. - Because of your Ma...
my advertisement is getting...! - Do you have a mother?
No, Sameer. We stay away from each other tiII you divorce Naina
I want to be spotIess. - Wow! Fantastic!
What a Iine! ''VimIa detergent Ieaves your cIothes spotIess''
I jog away
Keeps my hands and Iegs fit
So I jump away
My breath... my breath...
I know, you are the mother-in-Iaw and Naina-ji is the daughter-in-Iaw
Shut up, ass. The pump...
Oh, the pump!
Here's the pump. - Not this one... my pump
What happened? - She's gasping for breath
She wants a pump. - Here it is. Sit down, Ma-ji
Open...
Again... better?
Who toId you to exercise so much?
I'II decide on your diet from now on
I'II prepare your heaIth chart
No compromise on your heaIth. No way. Okay, Ma?
Great, Iady. This is what you caII the Iove of a daughter-in-Iaw
What was that for? - Not my daughter-in-Iaw
She is my daughter. - Great, Iady. Awesome
I'm so happy
Gopi, give me tea
My respects, Ma. - You hid such a thing from me, son
What, Ma? - Your wife is so good
She's discipIined and so mannerIy. - I never knew, Ma...
that my wife had so many quaIities. - Shut up
She's a goddess. Know what? I suffered a bout of asthma
She took great care of me, I was fine in a jiffy
I have prayed to God that...
I want Naina as my daughter-in-Iaw in aII the Iifetimes to come
You have opened my eyes today, Ma
I never reaIised Naina was so nice. - She is, son
What was the need to act nice with my Ma?
Excuse me! It wasn't an act
I'm a nurse first then your fake wife
It's my duty to save a patient's Iife. - I know
But you couId've caIIed me. If you keep on serving Ma Iike this...
she wiII never Iet us part. - Is it? Then Iet's teII her everything
Don't worry. A mother forgives every mistake that her son commits
My Ma is an Indian mother. She sIaps me...
she can even shoot me if the need be. - Then what's the soIution?
A horse cannot befriend its fodder
A woman can never Iove her mother-in-Iaw? Can she?
You caIIed me a horse? - No. I caIIed Ma fodder
Shame on you. You are terribIe. - Be terribIe Iike me
Be a true Indian daughter-in-Iaw
Turn terribIe and torch the house, so that Ma runs away
Do it!
C'mon, grandma
C'mon, grandma! - Drive Iike Superman. Let me show you
Gopi, you idiot
What are you doing here, Gopi? Get back to the kitchen, now
What are you peopIe doing? - What are you doing, daughter-in-Iaw?
PIease don't interfere. The kids are not studying because of you
Don't worry, dear. We own severaI trucks
My rich kids wiII never go hungry. - Haven't you got up yet?
C'mon, pack up, quick. You are going to the hosteI. Move it
They won't get a good upbringing at the hosteI, my dear
Oh yes, I forgot. I can see how great the upbringing of your son is
What are you taIking? I made a doctor out of him
I wish you had made a good human being out of him
His bad company wiII spoiI my kids
OnIy God can save us from you and your son
Let's go, chiIdren
What's wrong with her aII of a sudden?
Don't scream. I'm good at it too
And I got an identity of my own! I'm not a caged bird...
to be kept under watch for 24 hours
You are unnecessariIy angry, dear. Nobody is keeping you under watch
My gIasses are broken. PIease get it fixed, son
Mother-in-Iaw, this is Mumbai, not your viIIage
Fixing things cost money. Besides, can't you see through a broken gIass?
WeII Ma-ji, what wiII you see?
The torn up aIbum of your onIy son's broken marriage!
I'm so stuck in this pIace
Keep this money, Ma. I can go without sIippers...
but you can't go without gIasses. - I know
In the movie ''Baghban'' this is exactIy what Amitabh went through
His daughters-in-Iaw made Iife miserabIe for him
He Iooked so cute weeping inconsoIabIy
But Ma, he's a great personaIity and a tough human being in reaIity
Forget the personaIity, but I'm no Iess in reaIity
I wiII endure every thing for your sake, but I won't Iet her go
Don't Iet her go, Ma. Don't
I'm a goner!
Sameer is ruined
Ms Naina, you are just amazing
If you script a few more episodes Iike this...
Ma wiII go away to Hoshiarpur, you wiII remain at the cIinic...
and I wiII be...
in Sonia's arms
But won't this...?
I hope it won't hurt Ma? - You don't know my Ma
She's tenacious, she's unshakeabIe
Ma! Are you aII right?
Lord, stop pIaying the fIute
I'm ruined. What's come over my daughter-in-Iaw aII of a sudden?
She was fine untiI yesterday, why has she turned into a serpent?
You caII this food? You're not concentrating on your work
Get out of my house! - Lady, I've been working here...
for so many years. No one has ever compIained
I'II see who works here!
Sure, go on. I got a repIacement for you
Who? - Ma-ji
She's been a freeIoader in her son's house
She won't die if she works a bit
Besides, I'II save some money. So get out of my house
But Iisten...
Lady, what do you gain by sacking me?
Oh, how I respected you! And you turned out to be just a maid. God heIp
Ma-ji...
my friends are coming over in the afternoon
Cook something speciaI, onIy for...
six peopIe
PIease don't refuse. I hear, your hands work magic
Let us try some
Naina, hurry make it fast. - I'm checking
Look... oh!
I Iost again. - There you are
May I ask something, Naina? - Go ahead
You ran out of Iuck ever since you married Sameer
Don't ask me. I Iost 20,000 to you. I'II give you the rest Iater
No way. - Naina, no credit in gambIing
I want hard cash. - Is that so?
So keep my wedding neckIace. - What are you doing, my dear?
Are you gambIing with your wedding neckIace?
Oh yes, it's the symboI of a marriage. So what do I do?
ShaII I wager on you? That's a good idea, Iadies
I wager on her
You are wagering a worthIess woman, Naina
Oh no. She must at Ieast be insured for 300000.
Hear that? Insured for 300000.
Do you aIso insure your maids here? - Hush
How rude, DoIIy! She is my mother-in-Iaw
If she gets angry, who wiII cook?
Mother-in-Iaw! My respects
Shut up. - My name is DoIIy
Try the food, DoIIy
Naina, is this food worth trying? It's so oiIy
What is this, Mom? You have put me to shame
What's wrong with it? My husband wouId Iick his fingers
No wonder he passed away so earIy
Shut up!
What on earth...?
What happened, Ma?
Hasn't my virtuous wife massaged your feet and put you to sIeep yet?
Feet? She'd even strangIe me, son
Book a raiIway ticket and send me home
Send me away, son. - But you said you wanted her...
as your daughter-in-Iaw for aII the Iifetimes to come. Don't betray me now
I was out of my mind
Send me back to Hoshiarpur
I won't stay here. - Know what's the probIem?
It's the tv seriaIs. Put on any channeI...
and you'II find womenfoIk fighting. The poor mother is aIways harassed
Greetings. WeIcome to Sanskar TV
BeautifuI. Exquisite, Ma
Today's subject: ReIationship between mother-in-Iaw and daughter-in-Iaw
A mother-in-Iaw is Iike a mother
Great thinking. - Shut up. Let me Iisten
Some daughters-in-Iaw today treat their mothers-in-Iaw Iike maidservants
It is wrong. A mother-in-Iaw is Iike a huge tree...
under whose shadows we find every thing
Ma, do they make such daughters-in-Iaw anymore?
Of course, there are. Why don't you marry a girI of her type?
Ma, forget her type, if you say, I'II marry this one
BIess you, son. Go ahead and marry her, son
I wiII be bIessed. - Okay, Ma
My Sonia... where are you?
Your doctor is here
Your doctor is in a romantic mood. Where are you?
HeIp! - I'm in Iove with you
And I know that you too Iove me. So why don't you teII everyone?
Why don't you teII him? Look, I'm a very bad man
Let me go! - Why don't you understand?
I'm in Iove with you. I can't Iive without you
TeII me, you aIso Iove me
PIease Ieave me. I don't Iove you! - No!
Yes, yes! Yes! - See? You said yes
Though you refuse, you do Iove me
Pyare, I won't spare you!
We were rehearsing. Pyare has signed a new movie
''Sweet Rape''. Starring Pyare Mohan as the obsessed Iover
Did you find onIy my girIfriend to rehearse a rape scene?
Sonia, when somebody touches you, I become very touchy
Mr Thapa, why are you gasping?
I cIimbed six storeys without crutches, for your sake
You couId've taken the eIevator. - One who can cIimb the Tiger HiIIs...
without heIp in a war, needs no eIevator
What I expected, and what you turned out to be
I...? What have I done?
You roam around with the doctor
But you can't stand me and spend a few moments of Iove with me
I wish to have a girIfriend Iike you
I wish for someone's support. Like yours
I don't expect an entire Iifetime with her...
but of course a few moments of Iove!
Mr Thapa...
why didn't you teII me before?
What...? - Never mind
Come home tonight? - Home? Whose?
The doctor's
Don't be afraid. We'II go out
Mr Thapa, stop!
Don't forget, Mr Thapa. We have a date
I've done it!
Doctor, I'm coming tonight
Mr Thapa, come on
CarefuI
SIowIy, sIowIy
Ms Naina, this is not right. What are you doing?
You brought a crippIe to a discotheque, to dance?
That's because this is one pIace where my boss wouId never come
Boss? Who? - The doctor
That's fine. - Right?
Thank you, oId man
Baby...
Thank you, darIing
Such a IoveIy pIace. - I know
Know what's speciaI here? Nobody wiII disturb us
Vicky, isn't that the doctor's wife?
Who's that with her? - Must be her new boyfriend
Isn't that the doctor?
Who's the girI with her? - Must be his girIfriend or his fiancee
Forget it. - And who's that boy?
Must be the doctor's fiancee's... Concentrate on me! Don't Iook around
Sameer, there's your wife. - Oh my God!
Doctor, how many wives do you have? I can see them everywhere
Excuse me! I have onIy one wife, who is seen around with many of Iate
Ms Naina, the doctor is here!
Don't worry. He's the boss during the day, I'm the boss during the night
Let's dance, Mr Thapa. - I'II go and freshen up
Just one dance wiII freshen you up. - You don't understand
I need to pee. HoId this
ToiIet
Carry on, friend
Must I wash my hands? No way! I wiII shake hands with everyone
Love crippIed Thapa
EIse, he'd have danced too
Naina, I'm coming
WiII you woo my nurse?
Back off!
What are you doing?
''When I set my eyes...''
''upon you...''
''When I set my eyes upon you...''
''my heartstrings strummed, my Iove''
''Though I am restIess and unheeded, I'm confident now, my Iove...''
''you are the one for me! You are mine, my Iove''
''When I set my eyes upon you...''
''my heartstrings strummed, my Iove''
''Though I am restIess and unheeded, I'm confident now, my Iove...''
''you are the one for me! You are mine, my Iove''
''I don't know how I feII in Iove''
''But this wait is just kiIIing me''
''My Iove''
''When our gazes met, I conformed''
''My IoneIy heart found restIessness''
''My Iove''
''You've had a tremendous effect on me''
''I'm young, and this night is seducing me''
''Though I am restIess and unheeded, I'm confident now, my Iove...''
''you are the one for me! You are mine, my Iove''
I'm heaIed!
I can dance!
Ms Naina, thank you! I'm heaIed!
I can waIk, I can dance
''Give in to my passions''
''Just commit this beautifuI sin for once''
''My Iove''
''Live for my Iove, die for my Iove''
''In return, I shaII grant you any wish''
''My Iove''
''Sweetheart, you are the destination of my Iove''
''I'm drunk on your Iove''
''Though I am restIess and unheeded, I'm confident now, my Iove...''
''you are the one for me! You are mine, my Iove''
Get Iost!
''When I set my eyes upon you...''
''my heartstrings strummed, my Iove''
''Though I am restIess and unheeded, I'm confident now, my Iove...''
''you are the one for me! You are mine, my Iove''
My Iove, you are mine
Sameer, what happened? - Nothing... Naina is drunk
DJ, one more time!
UncIe, it's tweIve! Get Iost
DJ, one more time!
Hi, Naina. - Hi. Good morning
Good morning, doctor. - Good morning
What's this? You have worn Iast night's dress
I didn't have the time to change. - What?
You didn't go home? Where were you aII night?
The night? Don't ask me! I never had such fun in my Iife
I couId see that. I saw what fun you had Iast night
That was nothing. The reaI thing happened after you Ieft...
when the two of us went to the beach. - To the beach?
The two of you? - Yes
Two? Who? - I and Pyare
Pyare? - Pyare Mohan
You went to the beach with Pyare? Do you know what sort of a man he is?
Doctor, not a word against Pyare. He is a very nice and decent man
I saw Iast night how decent and nice he is
The way he was gIued to you!
Doctor, I can smeII envy
Envious, am I? No way. I'm ashamed
Ashamed? - It hurt to see...
the way you behaved with my girIfriend's friend
The whoIe worId knows that you are my wife!
Wife?
Wife, eh?
Whose wife? What wife?
Mrs Naina MaIhotra! You have made a joke out of me
Ajoke
I'm not your wife
I'm not your wife, doctor
I can't fake it anymore
I'm tired of it, I can't toIerate it
ToIerate? What've you been toIerating?
Your fiIthy girIfriends and friends, pathetic demands... need I say more?
Have you ever imagined how it hurts me to support your Iies?
No, I can't do this anymore. I want freedom
Freedom? Go, you are free. Who do you think you are?
There are thousands of nurses who wiII work for me, for Iess pay
Go ahead. I'II find one for you. - No, thanks
I'II find a nurse of my choice
AII right
Here's the drawer that carries the Ietters of aII your girIfriends
There's your bank statements, there's the patients' dossiers, and...
inside this drawer you wiII find your girIfriends' shoes, cIips, et aI
If you forget every thing, there's a Iist inside in this drawer
Anything eIse you want to ask?
No, nothing
I'm Ieaving
Listen...
Yes?
Where's the fish food?
See, I forgot that. Inside their tummies!
Pyare, get up. Are you stiII dreaming?
I've stopped dreaming. My dreams don't come true anyway
Forget it. I'm marrying today. You are my best friend
Aren't you ready yet? C'mon, get up
Sonia, I won't attend your marriage
Why not? - Why shouId I attend?
That doctor is marrying for the second time, and I'm not even married once
What kind ofjustice is this? I won't attend anyone's wedding...
unIess I myseIf get married. - Look Pyare...
if you don't come, I'II never meet you again
In any case you wiII not meet me after your marriage
You won't attempt suicide, I won't come to rescue you either
Fine
I'II stiII wait for you. - I'II stiII wait for you!
You Iook exquisite, and happy too
Hi. - What are you doing here?
I'm taking the evening fIight to Canada... for good
Before Ieaving, I wanted to teII you something about myseIf and Sameer
I'm not Sameer's wife
What...?
Then who is Sameer's wife? - Nobody
Sameer is not married
May I ask something? Why are you teIIing me aII this now?
I'm a nurse, Sonia
Be it a wound or a reIationship, it must never be Ieft open
God bIess you
From now on, you wiII share aII your wife's joys, sorrows and everything
Right? - Right, Father
Mr Sameer MaIhotra, do you accept Sonia as your wife?
Of course, Father
Ms Sonia, do you accept Sameer MaIhotra as your husband?
No, Father
What...?
Sonia, I'II be ruined. What are you saying?
Look Sameer, we are in the church, before God
At Ieast today you shouId be teIIing the truth
What?
Jesus! What accusation is this? When did I Iie to you?
When did you not Iie? First you said...
you have wife and kids
Then you said your wife has a boyfriend
You even Iied to your mother. Aren't you ashamed?
Sounds Iike Naina's doing!
She just can't digest things. Thank God I drove her out
Sameer, why did you teII aII those Iies?
To make you beIong to me, Sonia. I Iove you dearIy
And why did Naina stand by you in your Iies, aII the whiIe?
Because, she...
considers me her boss. She takes a fat pay packet from me
Besides, not every ''why'' has an answer, Sonia
No, Sameer. This particuIar ''why'' has an answer
Naina stood by you, because she dearIy Ioves you, Sameer
That's true
You must marry the person who Ioves you
Correct. I madIy Iove you
PIease marry me
ReaIIy?
Suppose, Naina and I were in a boat that were sinking...
who wouId you save?
I don't know! - I'II save the boat
The boat! - The boat?
If he saves the boat, you wiII be saved, right?
Stay quiet! Did I say anything? Let the boat sink
No, no. If you ask me about medicine, I have answers
But this quiz about who wiII drown, I can't answer
You reaIIy Iove me, don't you? - Yes
You want to see me happy? - Yes
Then ask yourseIf and teII me honestIy...
are you the right man for me?
TeII me, Sameer
Thank you, Sameer. For the first time today...
you've spoken a truth ... your siIence said it
Go to the airport and stop Naina
EIse, you wiII Iose her in this Iifetime too
Sonia, did you ever imagine what'd happen to you without me?
Whatever happens, it wiII be good
Sonia, I Iove you dearIy
PIumber, chauffeur, servant...
Iover... I'm wiIIing to become everything for you
But, on just one condition
If you ever faII iII and you need a doctor...
I won't ever take you to him! Period
Everything eIse is fine. PIease marry me
But if you ever hurt her, I'II beat you so much that...
no doctor wiII ever be abIe to cure you
Let's go. Are you waiting to see their honeymoon? Come on
Amazing. You refused to marry before, now girIs are running away from you
That reminds me... you shouId run
EIse, Naina wiII run away from India. C'mon
Go! Go!
Don't weep, Sonia. I hate tears
Did Father vanish?
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the HoIy Spirit...
WiII you be my wife?
But how wiII you go aII aIone on a honeymoon?
You mean, I stay back, you go? - Right
A husband, who never Iies
You wiII have to find him yourseIf
Can't find a better nurse than Naina
She takes care of my cIinic, my food ... everything, Iike a good wife
Whose wife? What wife?
Mrs Naina MaIhotra. You have made a joke out of me
HeIIo? - HeIIo Naina?
Vicky, what's up? Where are you caIIing from?
I'm using my mouth. Just get off the pIane
Get off the pIane? What are you saying?
My sixth sense says there's something wrong with the pIane, seriousIy
Get off
I can't hear you, I'm inside the pIane. Speak IoudIy
Naina, I have an intuition
There's something wrong with that pIane
There's a probIem with the Ieft magwheeI
Vicky, there you go again! Nothing's wrong with the pIane
I'm inside the pIane. Stop being naughty
Hang up. Bye
Listen...
Did she reIent? - Don't know
Let's try the airport
What...?
What happened?
The phone. - It's nothing
My stupid friend said...
there's something wrong with the Ieft magwheeI of the pIane. He's naughty
Something wrong? - No, don't worry
He's justjoking. Besides, he's aIways 90 percent wrong
But he can be 10 percent right
Yes, anybody couId, in fact. - No!
I'm not fIying! No way
You are serious... - Something's wrong with the pIane
I'm Ieaving, foIks. Come with me. - What's wrong, sir?
Something's wrong with the Ieft magwheeI
But this pIane doesn't have a Ieft magwheeI
Gosh! There's no magwheeI at aII! Come on, foIks
Goodness! What...?
Another traffic jam in my Iove-story
In Mumbai, traffic jams don't give you enough time to woo girIs
Thapa!
Thapa, your feet...? - Don't touch my Iegs, doctor
My Iegs are fine, pIease Iet me go
Why? - I beg of you
Naina is Ieaving Mumbai. PIease take me to the airport
Sorry, I got to deIiver this pizza in 20 minutes
What's more important? Pizza? Or Love? - Pizza
Pieces of pizza fiII your stomach
And when Iove is torn apart? - It kiIIs the Iover!
Not another word! I have aII the roads of this city mapped
I wiII reach you there in 20 minutes
C'mon
Before Naina goes abroad we reach her! - Back off!
Hurry up, Thapa, for your scooter's sake
Faster!
Your girI's honour is at stake
My dear Naina...
Thapa's heIping me
PIease carry on. We have checked the aircraft. No probIem at aII
I toId you. - No way
I'm not fIying in this pIane. It doesn't have magwheeIs
PIease don't Iisten to him. Come on
PIease Iisten to him. You are responsibIe for your own Iives
AII the best. Bye, bye
There!
Excuse me... - One minute
You...?
Go on, teII her. You want me to teII her, eh?
Go on
PIease, we can't wait. - One minute
I have dropped Sonia, Naina
You dropped Sonia? Or has Sonia dropped you?
One and the same thing
Naina...
ActuaIIy, I'm used to your smiIe, your different ways
We can't wait
If you Ieave, my office, my famiIy, my Iife...
wiII be ruined aII in one go!
Are you coming or not? - Excuse me, pIease
Wait a moment
Here's what we do, Naina. I'm not your boss anymore
You are my queen I'm your sIave
You hoId my bridIe
I do Iie at times, but these tears are not fake
You mustn't torment the one you Iove
You are Ieaving the house, but I'II be rendered homeIess
This is not fair, isn't it Naina?
Madam pIease, Iet's go. We can't wait anymore
Otherwise you wiII miss the fIight. Let's go
Look Naina... I'm faIIing from the sky
You are my parachute
You are right, I'm wrong
Don't Ieave me, Naina. I'm perfect for you...
the way I am. - Ma'am, pIease!
I swear Naina, I am perfect...
She's gone too. - Yeah
Found anyone? - No
No one's worth it. Come, Iet's try eIsewhere
Naina! Stop, my dear!
Stop, my dear! - Stop, aunt
Stop!
Stop, Naina! - Look at them!
It's your mother. - Ma...?
Stop, my dear! - Aunt
ChiIdren...
Stop, dear! - Stop, aunt
What are you doing here...? - Naina, I've Iearnt everything
You were at the hosteI... - PIease don't Ieave us
PIease aunt
Where are you going, my dear?
If you want to Ieave, fine. But teII me something
In this faIse show of marriage...
didn't your heart beat even once for Sameer?
When he scoIded you, when he admired you, when he touched you...
didn't your heartstrings strum? TeII me, my chiId
They did, I know. - You shut up
What have I done?
My chiId, you faked it aII the whiIe when you harassed me
But now you are reaIIy harassing me. It'II kiII me
I have never hit anyone
Don't bIame me if I hit you now
My chiId...
Ma-ji, hit me. It's my mistake
Forgive me pIease. I'd never have made this mistake
It's aII your son's...
Thank you, Naina. - Not thank-you...
apoIogise to her. - Sorry, Naina
Good boy
Can we go home now? - Let's go
WeII... my Lord... - Yes?
Won't you come home? - Just...
That's it! No excuses!
Excuse me... is she fIying or not?
Why'd she fIy when she has found a nice boy to hang out with?
On second thoughts... can you wait for three more days?
She'II certainIy come back crying... guaranteed!
I'd rather be a doctor than an actor