I am someone that has a connection to airplanes my whole life
I started building airplane models when I was three
I started "polishing my rocket" when I was nine
I threw my friends airplane when I was a bit older
When I grew up, I became a pilot
My name is Mean Cool, my nickname is "Pickup Master in the aviation world"
Everyone called me Captain Cool
Captain
See you next time
His name is Fatty Sam
Everyone called him Captain Tong
Hi-lev Tang
He is my best mate on wooing girls
He takes care of the talking while I take care of making it
This kiddo called Guy
He is sissy so the girls treat him like their best maid
Psychologically,
this is a kind of split personality
Get the girl by acting gay
Good morning, Captain Cool!
Captain Cool!
Our airline
is the one that sells budget ticket, the ICE Airline
It costs only $1,500 to fly London
It's even cheaper than having sex
Come on!
Only these few around
Right. So boring
Just like marriage
What marriage?
Hey, girls
So we'll have a nice time
You can see all the girls like me
just like honey to bees
But I was a boring boy before
And my first love, as well as my first time...
was pitiful ending
What a loser
My first love was my schoolmate in secondary school
Her name is Shelly
Please feel free to sit
I go to get some drinks in the kitchen
As Shelly is poor at Mathematics,
she asked me to give her private tutorials
So after school, when her parents are not yet home
I went to her place
Shelly, this ancient lady looks really like you
She is my great-great-great-grand auntie
She is a chivalrous woman in Ming Dynasty
She was sacrificed when she attempted to assassinate the Lord Ning
who conspired against the Emperor
She worths respect
Let's... go to my room to start the tutorial
Let's
In fact, my maths is not good. So-called tutorial
is shit. We started kissing very soon
Otherwise why would I go to a girl's place in an afternoon
I can't... I have asthma
I need some fresh air...
Me too
Left... left side
Left side... feels better
Why the left side?
I am leftie
Are you kidding? I reckon you use your right hand to write
My breast is a leftie
Me too then
Your chest is also leftie?
No, my dick
Let me see
Oh Really!
Is it big?
Yes!
We can't! We will have baby if we do this!
How could we have baby?
My mom said no man can be trusted
That's how she got me
You have my word! It's a promise when I say so.
L... didn't mean your father
But I have credit
Then you... better be careful
You said I have your word?!
I wanted to hold...
It's stuck
What should we do? Don't make a mess
I said you have my word
When I said it has no problem...
So... you move lightly...
I said man can't be trusted!
We've reached that far anyway...
Sweety, we're back
Mom
So nice that working on your homework? Auntie!
I'll leave you alone
Our daughter is well-behaved. She is working on her homework
Let's have tarts
Since then, I've never been to Shelly's home
Moreover, her parents had made her changed to another school
My first love ended like this
What are we blowing?
Let me help you
Who is she?
How would I know?
Hey...
It's you again? I saw her first
One minute
You take it if I can't
What? Hey! I haven't said yes
You don't know me.
I don't know you either
But you know what?
You are the one.
The one I have been waiting for so long.
Your English sucks. You're not wooing me, are you?
I'm so sorry.
You want a go?
Oh! I'm so sorry!
Why you keep looking at your watch? We are in the afternoon flight
We've made a deal
I'll take over if he couldn't make it in one minute
Done
And I did it twice
In 19 seconds?
That means I still have 41 seconds
Hey! Meeting time!
Really in one minute?
Yes, I trained it during short-haul flights
Shit!
I only fly to England
It hurts if you fly long-haul, Fatso
Sit...
Boss looks like... very happy
How nappy?
Not sure what shall we congratulate
I am getting married
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Wonderful!
Let me tell you. She is really nice
If you guys meet her, you also would...
I wouldn't dare...
Please ask Monica to come in
Monica is a nice name
Makes us fantasize
So high-class, like French
So romantic
Monica!
Did you kiss just now?
No
What's up? Where did you go?
I go for some food
Are you full?
So so OK
Oh, what happened to your nails?
You should look for someone with better technique
Why... you don't have money?
So poor...
Let me introduce to you
Guy-guy, Sam-sam
Captain Cool
They are the three top pilots in our airline
Hello!
What's up?
You want to try?
Sorry, it's the last one
It's out of stock. I can't help you
What a pity
Why? You want to take it?
Looks like you do
You have good taste!
You are staring at me? Ok
What? You gotta eat when the boss tells you to
Take it
Thank you
It's too thick. My mouth is too small for it
I'm not gonna take it
Am I gonna take it myself?
And it won't be me
You have to take a bite anyway
I don't want to!
Help... I'm not taking...
You have to take a bite no matter what
lam not... no...
You have to lick me if you're not gonna take it!
Captain Cool
There is something behind you
There is something behind me?
What is it?
Yes, what is it? Impossible
What happen to my back? Your back... has nothing
Let's check it outside Go out and have a better look
Wait!
You guys wanna flee?!
No...
This boss is really mean
I just happen to have sex with his wife
He's been chasing me because of it
and I was fired like this
And this was the last time I flew...
in ICE Airline. Fly me...
Shut up!
Captain
There is a thunder cloud ahead
With my skills, I can fly through any conditions, even through twin peaks...
not to mention a mere thunder storm
Nice
Surprise!
What are you guys doing?
Today is the last time we work together
Let's throw a party
But we can't drink
It's fine. Let's drink water instead
We can still get drunk by water
Shit! What an ancient script
Yes. So let's take this chance
You haven't activated the autopilot yet
It's insane!
Really. What's up?
Let's kiss first!
No more kisses, just go straight!
The party tonight was really excited
But I couldn't imagine
what in front of me was not a thunder cloud
but a magnetic storm generated
by accumulation of huge amount of sunspots
What is it?
How would I know?
I felt like I was sleeping when I got into the magnetic thunder
Just when I woke up, I thought I survived the plane crash
But after I figured out what had happened
Only four words popped up in my head
lam in trouble
Where am I?
Why kissing... turns into a tree?
Was it plane crash?
No way
I don't think so
Or you've died already. How can you still standing here?
It's not often that you're so calm
Of course. Let's see if our phones get any signal
Okay Ok
No signal. Look
Mine doesn't have any signals, too
He)'
Hey!
It looks like rural area in Mainland
Yes, this place looks antiquated
People also look a bit odd
Right
What the hell?!
I sot it!
It must be the famous Eastern Hollywood,
the Hengdian World Studio
That would be great
I've been want to become an actor for a long time
Impossible
Why?
There is no camera
They use hidden camera
That's good. I heard that a lot of actresses are whore in here
Who?
That... Fan...
Actress whore is good. I want to be one as well
He misunderstood...
Not to be one, but look for one! Fan what?
What happen to you? Can you see?
You like her even she doesn't have breasts?
The Good one will come last. Let's eat first
OK, OK
What does that whore call?
Looks nice...
This way
Gentlemen
You guys don't dress like normal
You guys must be from outside the gate
Stupid, I didn't say you dress funny
Don't do that
It's difficult to run a Chinese restaurant
You can't earn enough to give those bullshit landlord
You even need to wear kimono in Japanese restaurant
They serve traditional Chinese cuisine here. So it makes sense
Sounds right
Sorry, I'm so sorry.
Boss, they speak foreign language. I don't understand
You guys dressed-up
I can tell you are rich people in foreign country
We have seats with better view upstairs. Please follow me
Gentlemen, please!
Look. We can take the seats upstairs just when we apologize
No wonder people say you are a flatterer
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry...
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry...
Sorry...
What do you want to eat?
Pineapple bun
Shark's fin dumpling
Hot dog
It's easy, right?
Right
Sorry!
Good gUY
He is a fast learner
Bro Tang, your turn
We are waiting
...
I can't compose it yet
If you still can't do it
You have to let me lust your 8 wives
You wish!
I can do it
It's almost there, almost there
He can't no matter what
Holding whiz
So poor
People laugh at my madness
I laugh at people's ignorant
These two are nice!
Some more?
We can't see the tombs of the heroes
No flowers, no wine but a planting field
Nice! Nice one!
Buddy, although you wear funny clothes
you can still catch up my poem
I do respect you
We were borned at the 70s. We all heard about Stephen Chow
Which Stephen Chow?
My name is Chow Man-ban
My name is Men Ching-ming
I am Chok Tse-shan
What are you looking at?
Who said the four wits have to be handsome?
Right. I warned you
You made fun of me saying lam too fat to be a pilot
Now people laugh at you too
I didn't
You keep looking?!
Have you finished?
I am Tang Bo-hu. And you are?
If you are Tang Bo-hu?
Then I must be Leonardo... Dicapri0
Bro, are you come from foreign country?
United States of America
You know what I'm saying?
What?
Bro Lee, although you come from foreign country
you are expertise in poem
I respect you even more
How about this. As we have the fate to meet
Let me drink with you guys tonight
and we compose poems for whole night
I don't mind if he asks me to compose
That is
Gentlemen, please feel free
OK
What is it?
Pineapple bun
Shark's fin dumpling
There is abalone inside the pineapple
There is fish fin in the dumpling
So hotdog...
Shit! This is really a rural place
Do you have boiled egg?
It's easy
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.
You actors are really hard
and you are willing to come to dump places like Hengdian
I wouldn't come if I were you
Do you earn a lot?
My name is Tang Bohu, I am a poet
not an actor
Come on. Don't fool around after work
So into the character
We are an airplane pilot
Our plane fell in here
Excuse me, Bro. Tang
Where is the airport nearby?
When will be the next flight to Hong Kong?
Airport? Airplane?
What are they?
That's enough!
I've already said. After Stephen Chow acted as Tang Bohu.
No one can ever act again successfully
Finished... do you know what "finished" means?
I really have no idea on what you are talking about
Whoever act it would die
I got it! You must be sent by Lord Ning!
He asked when will be the next flight
You...
Remote hitting of pressure point!
I can't move
Me too. Guy, you...
I can't, too
You guys tell me
Did Lord Ning tell you
That apart from Kung Fu I also know how to compose poems
And I am also the only successor of Tang's overlord spear
So, are you here to check on me?
Shit. We meet someone crazy
We're done. Will he sexual harass us?
That's good. Don't you want to be a whore?
No way, you are so bad
Tell me!
Did Lord Ning send you?
Are you really Tang Bohu?
Of course I am Tang Bohu!
Is it really the Ming Dynasty now?
Of course it is the Ming Dynasty
We're done. We're back to the Ming Dynasty
Back to the Ming Dynasty?
Where did you guys actually come from?
We are HongKongers in 2014
You bullshit, keep kidding me?
Mr. Tang
He is really too sissy
He is a retard
I can present better than him. How about this
You release me and let me explain it to you
You are also curious, right?
Alright. You can't beat me anyway
The fact is that
Bro. Tang
we are in Ming Dynasty now...
I'did explain to him with the most simply way
From Flirting Scholar to Universal Suffrage 2017
We talked from 7pm to 3am
He finally understands
God bless the Ming Dynasty!
Why is that, Bro. Tang?
Bro. Lee Yes
According to what you've said. In future
there are fish balls, meat balls and missiles
If we have missiles, we don't need to worry about...
Lord Ning any more
You don't have to worry about him
with your remote hitting pressure point technique
Bro. Lee, you know nothing
about the Lord Ning
has two master-hands. One in planning and one in KungFu
The one in planning called Dui Tong-gai
The one in KungFu called Ruthless Scholar
He practiced "Protective Shield" successfully
Nothing can beat him now
But he has a lethal point
He'll be finished just by one touch
I don't like this Lord Ning, too. How about this
We can win over him if we work together, Bro. Tang
Why don't you teach me the pressure point hitting
so I can assist you
This...
is also workable. But you bring the missile to exchange with me
Okay
But you have to release my friends first
Okay
Where is the missile?
I don't have any missiles
But I have another tool
You got something greater than missile?
It's... vibrator!
It can deal with the Lord Ning?
This vibrator is not mainly for Lord Ning
It shall be put in woman's...
She'll feel very comfortable then
Really?
You try with your hand
Hey, no response?
Of course, you haven't turned it on
Feels good? Good... it's good
Alright... vibrator, right?
I should get Autumn this time
You dimwit, you were talking about Lord Ning just now
And you switched to Autumn now. What do you want?
You know nothing, Bro. Lee
Actually we "Four Talents"
had already prepared to be servants in Hua's residence
it doesn't just allow us to hide our talent
But also let us got the chance to woo
the "Four beauties "Fragrances" of Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter"
Especially Autumn
She is definitely my dream girl
I heard that, it's Gong Li
Right
Now I got this vibrator from you
Autumn must surrender
Why don't you teach me the pressure point techniques now?
Okay. Hold your squat firmly
Yes!
Good. Gather your breath in the lower part of your abdomen
Gather all your power at one spot
Which spot?
The one at your finger tip
Yes!
Then use your imagination
to shoot the power from your body
Can you shoot it?
Pretty good Do I have the talent?
You do. You make me rigid now
Can you move? What do you think?
Great Yes
Alright. Now I shall teach you how to release it
Right? Yes
I didn't say I want to learn
What? You...
Bro. Lee, Bro. Lee...
Why don't you learn it?
You've already told me
how to get to Hua's residence and what's good in there
Why should I wait?
You... you are so mean!
We're done
We had really gone back to the Ming Dynasty. What should we do?
We don't have a choice
We should face it as it is
How can you be a pilot then?
The most important thing is to have a spirit of adventure
That's right
Moreover, we like to travel around
And... we were fired anyway
Just you
We were kissing just now
Let's bring you to Hua's residence
and kiss the girls in there, alright?
Great
I heard that Autumn really looks like Gong Li
If we leave four of them here alone, they will die
There is a way
Who wants a nanny? Who wants a nanny?
Bro. Tang, enjoy!
"Maid Recruitment Servant Recruitment"
Let's
Bro. Hua Sau, please give me a chance
Get out!
Bro. Hua Sau... Do I look good?
Fatso, you look handsome in ancient clothes
You also look bustling
Matches well with this watch Nice
So many people are queuing up
For the girls
Do we need to queue, too?
These people are waiting for the ticket. We've paid for privilege
What is it?
Jump the queue
I like it
Good! I like being quick
Go
No one queues for maid's queue
Boys want girls but girls don't want to be
wooed
This buddy looks like Andy Lau
Are you the most handsome guy, Bro. Hua Sau in Hua's residence?
I am the Tang... what?
Everyone needs to pay in here
Why are you winking?
Actually, I want to...
Jump the queue, right?
Look over that way
They are all here to jump the queue
Jumping queue is the most unmoral
Actually we'd like to know where the end of the queue is
Yes
Go to queue up!
Bumbling! Sorry...
Get out! Sorry...
Shit. Act smart
you have to queue anyway Sorry...
Dammit! How did you get as a pilot?
Sorry...
And you are the captain Sorry...
Idiot Sorry...
Get the shit
You got the climatic bubo Sorry...
How far do we need to go?
So cold.
I've forgotten my woolen underwear
Autumn, why are you here?
Madam said we just need one more more male servant
But we can have more maids
Autumn is just so-so
People have different tastes
Even the porno with no mosaic
You need to focus to get a better picture
Fatso, you reacts
Sorry...
I've ejected actually
Autumn!
You look ugly
Same to you
How can you say that?
You think about it. More than hundred people
said she is pretty. How can she remember you?
If you say she is ugly, she'll remember you for her life time
Expert. Expertise
Nice
Bro. Hua Sau, please let me in
Just one vacancy left. I'll give 2 thousand!
2 thousand, once
Enough?
2 thousand, twice... 3 thousand!
3 thousand
All my possession, 4 thousand!
4 thousand
Still have 1 teal
4 thousand and... 1 teal
This chivalrous guy, I beg you
Please give it to me
Otherwise I'll die right in front of you!
Please don't... please don't hack me with the sword
No... I mean don't cut yourself
Calm down. It's just a girl after all...
Madam said we can have one more male servant
That's fine, you don't...
I'm sorry...
Then one more
One. His was forfeited
How about us?
Sorry...
What should we do?
You dimwit, forget about us
You, here!
Stand still Yes
Listen, this is Hua's residence here
Everyone needs to change their surname to Hua when you're here
You are Hua Keung then
It's fine for me. Just worry Madam wont' be happy
Then I'll give you a number instead
67167
Stand still. Don't move
67... 167, I should have taken the name
You run so fast
How dare you?
Too bold! 67167!
Why don't you knee down when you meet Shelia
Shelia? It's not possible
Isn't Shelia acted by Kingdom Yuen?
How can she be so pretty?
It's really written as Shelia
Look at her. Besides she got one blind eye
the rest looks exactly the same as my first love Shelly
How dare you are
You have the guts provoking me
Looks like you have pretty good at Kung Fu
Well. I shall allow you to practice Kung Fu with me
That would be great
My master is the Jade-dragon Fatty Praying Mantis
I also had practiced some Kung Fu before
It's not fair to you
Dimwit!
Fatty Praying Mantis?
Jade-dragon?
Is it for fun?
Girls, I shall guide you to meet Madam
Okay
Miss, do you have mercurochrome?
You bullshit, what kind a image is it?
This man is so ugly
I can tell he's been telling people
that he knows the Praying Mantis moves. So people beat him like that
You deserved
Good, you two
pretended you are women because you are short
I'm afraid I can't
Meal time! Meal time!
Leave me some
Is there any steamed rice?
Go away
You don't have to do that
What so special about rice
You look starving
Nevermind
Hey Bro, do we have doctor in here?
Why do you need one?
Nothing. I am thinking to pull this out when I have time
Don't take it out, you will need it soon
You've made Shelia mad
Just like the one before. If Madam casts her eyes on you
You'll be dead
What do you mean?
Few days ago
there was a fat guy came here, he's only twenties
Madam asked him to give her a massage in her room
He was released after three days and nights
So where is he... now?
That's me
Are you kidding?
I almost exhausted to die
Kid, you shall go back to your room
We'll have a welcome party tonight
It's for you
So nice?
Hua's residence is really a nice place
It hurts
Here is the junior's dorm
What happened?
Everyone looks fierce. Want to beat me?
Who do you think you are?
You are in jail?
It's mandatory to beat you
Do you know we have a lot of treasures in Hua's residence
We need to be searched before we go out every day
If you could sell the goods outside for us
We can spare your life
Then I don't need to die
I like to steal things since I was young
How can I help?
Body-hidden treasure
Oh please. This kind of things...
I knew that. It's old stuff
Cut it off
What? Envy him?
You can do that too
You just need more practice
HOW?
Why do you tighten your butt while standing?
You wouldn't want to know
Actually, you have some potential
We can consider to promote you to A-class male servant
Shelia, don't kidding me
I've been trying very hard to pick this meteor hammer out
and you want to torture me again?
If you go on like this, I quit
Are you quitting?
You have to quit when you say so
Don't just say you quit but come back in no time
Then I better not to quit. So troublesome
The family rule in Hua's residence is you have to bear people's beating
Yet you need to smile after that with no sadness shown
Looks you can stand the torture
If you are loyal to me, I'll promote you to my henchman
You can be free in Hua's residence
Henchman?
She does look like Shelly
It could be a good thing...
if I can get her
Hey 67167. What are you thinking?
I'm thinking of...
I think I want to
You do whatever I ask you to?
I won't hestitate, Shelia
What if I ask you to rape and kill Autumn
Then rape Spring afterwards
and sell all the Fragrances to the brothel
After that you chop all the people in Hua's residence
and make into Roasted pork bun
then force Master Hua to eat it
Are you willing to?
Um... I have no problem with the raping part
But the last parts...
sounds isn't humanity
But for Shelia
Alright! I'll kill them all tonight
I 90'! You
I know you have a strong tendency to violence
I shall beat you seriously
or you'll do bad things in Hua's residence
Shelia...
I treat you with my heart and you trapped me?
I'd rather not to woo girls anymore
What... you still use meteor hammer to hit my head?
I shall take back what I've just said
Am I that lucky
What a coincident. He fell to Master's building?
Forget it. He'll die anyway
Master, the ginseng soup is ready
Master?
Master
Don't play hide-and-seek
This is the perfect time to attack her from the back
How come you thought of making this?
Master?
What are you doing?
I have no secret in my whole life at all. I won't lie to women
I want you
Master, show some respect please
Am I not respecting you?
I asked the weapon expert, Da Vinci, to design this clothes for me
I've spent almost a thousand on it
Come on, have a kiss
Don't move!
What is it?
This is "Stupid if I don't rape you" paint
You can't move if you're shot
Don't come any any closer!
I'm gonna scream!
Don't! I'm going to scream!
This is a mute-milk
You can't talk for six hours if you drink it
Six hours...
It's enough
Hi everyone
In this kind of vulgar movie, you must think
Charlie Cho will rape Autumn
How would Wong Jing treat Charlie Cho nicely?
He would give me the chance first even so
Master!
Who is it?
I am here to tell you
I am the naughty angel
who is famous in double-cross
I catch you at red-handed this time, Master
I'm afraid I need to double-cross you
or I'll tell others for what you've done
You idiot!
Do you know who I am?
I am the imperial tutor, Hua Chun-ying!
I hate people who called Chun-ying in my entire life!
Don't move!
You dare to run!
Why is it?
It's called luck
Where shall I kick?
The balls, of course
Right
Stop!
Did you say you want to save people?
Yes
Go
It's so cold today
Autumn?
Why are you fetched by a junior servant?
Did someone rape you?
Don't worry, Autumn
No one follows us
You guys g0 away!
What is it?
Deep-fried dough stick
People throw up rice, yet he throws up a whole dough stick?
Quite crispy
It would be nice if we have plain congee now
I only have a deep-fried dough stick in three days
Yet you pushed it out, you dimwit
Tell me! Did you do something to Autumn?
Come on. Please say something
You've poisoned her to mute
What did she say. Chok Heung?
I got it! I got it!
Autumn just said
This damn pinched my butt
then tied me up
After that put something big
into my mouth roughly...
Kill him and revenge for me
Right
Correct?
You did it badly and you've made a very wrong guess
She said
Master pinched my butt, then tied me up
and shot the mute-milk into my mouth
And he saved me
Quote out of context?
Let me cut him down!
Autumn, he stuck that big stick on you
and you're still helping him?
No, Autumn tells us to
hold on to him
Spread his legs and let me chop him into two!
Wait!
You stupid, see how big her sword is
Don't mention the balls, it's not good to hurt even the wrapper
So much bullshit?
Autumn keeps protecting him
Will you protect me like this? No, right?
Autumn, if it was me that had saved you, nod your head
See?
You got it now?
Chok Heung, Fan Heung
Seems you both want him die
I just got it wrong
Can he be stupid?
Right
What is your name?
My name is 67167
As you've saved Autumn, you are in our group
In our group!
Then I shall remind you
that there may have "internal Affairs" among these people
What is "internal Affairs"?
"Internal Affairs" is a name of a movie
You can interpret as an undercover
that takes advantage on buddy
and betrays them
He can be thin or fat. Oh...
may be disguise as women
who are the dimwit that get the girls
You! You!
I said you... yet try to hide. Dammit
Are you men?
We got big boobs, how can we be men?
Strip
I'm not gonna strip as there is a man here
If you strip here and prove that you are women
I'll take his eyes out
Why are you here?
It's pretty small, but still a man
So what should I pick now?
Dirt in the nose
Dirt in the ears
Bro., you shouldn'thave to do this to us
You've betrayed us too Yes
Okay, let me finish it
We cannot hide the truth
in this situation
They wouldn't understand
They'll think you are crazy
Actually, I am...
TangĄ°.
Bo...
hu!
You can speak again
Really? You are Tang Boha?
You kidding?
People laugh at my madness
I like to squeeze people's boobs
I tried my luck because I love Autumn
We drink, send flowers and get you
Nice poem, nice poem
Fans, fans
You got fans
We shouldn't wait
Actually, I am the one with smartness and courage, the Chok Tse-shan
I just want to meet Winter
So I disguised as woman
You...
Why?
People said Chok Tse-shan always flee
after having fun in brothel
Fatso!
Get up, you fatso! Just leave me alone
And who you are?
Me?
I am the one... who admires you secretly
Girls
Master Hua and his two sons
keep taking advantage on us
Madam is so kinky and Shelia is so ferocious
We should get some money and leave this place
We have a way if we have them
Autumn, you are so smart
It's pretty late now
I can't imagine these girls are so smart
and let us sleep on 2-storey bed
They didn't drive us away even they knew we are men
That means they can't flee from us
Right
Let's see what Autumn reading is before we go
My dream man is in front of me finally
"Tang Yin Poems"
So deep inside...
Hua Man and Hua Mou, the sons of Master Hua are the most prurience ones
We have to deceive
all their money today
But how?
But we don't have any advantage
So what do you want, Fatso?
Do you want to come to my bedroom and sleep?
Good idea
You grab her later on
I'll get her first
Why don't you grab her and I get her first?
I am the elder brother!
As you are the elder one, you should yield me
Young masters, what happened to you two?
Winter, I like you so much
If you follow my instructions
I'll ask father to make you to be my mistress
No way!
I'll take you as senior mistress
Although you can't be my wife
it's better than be a mistress
But, mom said
men can't be trusted
unless...
Unless what?
You give me money
I'll give you a thousand
I'll give you 2 thousand
Fighting with me? I'll give 5 thousand!
You thought I don't have that much? I'll give 5 thousand as well!
But I worry you two will hurt your relationship because of me
But if make love with you, I worry that I may get pregnant
How about this... I'll let you caress
Good...
Here?
Where are you going? Where are you going?
My turn it's mine!
What happen to you?
I'm shy
My turn My turn!
It's not funny
What do you want?
You are full of powder
Do you think only you have it?
So... big...
And it's pink
It's by chance!
They keep licking, so much saliva
You have give me deposit, or I'll scream
You little brutes, what are you doing here?
Master
Your dad hasn't got anything, but you have started?
Who is she?
So big, must be Winter
You are in trouble
Master, lighter please
You don't cherish me
You better take off your pants and serve me
or I'll bite you
No way!
You ask for it
I shall bite you!
Dammit
Dad...
Baby Dad
You've bitten what we shall cherish
We don't have anything now Right
You dimwit
Master, are you alright?
Shall I call the Doctor for you?
No, never...
Why did you put such a big ball inside your pants?
Why don't you bring me to the doctor now?
Dimwit...
Dad...
Winter
What's up?
Sorry, it's really painful
You look a bit strange
Am I?
No
What the hell
Two more stitches. Hold on
Tang Bohu?
What do you mean?
It's my work after all
How can't I skip my autograph?
If you have any difficulties, you can cut and sell it
which worth a few thousands
You're so good to me
It's a lifetime, bro. How can I survive?
Let's think in this way... If my fans notice your boobs
they will hold you on
You've deceived ten thousand more from Hua Man and Hua Mou
We shall deceive him fifty thousand at least
That easy?
Of course we have to sacrifice
We ask him out to play mahjong
Then we'll suffer a big loss
Let's draw to see who shall sacrifice
Tang Buha, come and help us
HOW?
Act as Master Hua and rape you?
Good
Me?
You're so bad
How... bad... am I?
What do you need to do?
To let Master watches while she's bathing
I want to watch too
Master
You maids are so tricky
You know Madam goes to the temple to pray
and then ask me out to play mahjong
Master, I am sorry for kicking you last time
It's okay
These are the new
joiners, Chok Heung, Fan Heung, Min Heung and Fan Heung
They are nice too
Round as pearls and smooth as jade
Master, you are really naughty
You worth nothing if guys are not naughty
It's tough for you if I'm not naughty
Who plays mahjong with me?
Three of us
How about you, Autumn
I have boiled some water for bathing
I'll play with you after bathing
Then you girls play. I shall accompany her for bathing
Master, let me play with you
HOW?
Master, let's play unlimited points today
One hundred per point
You need to pay cash if you lose
We'll pay by our body if we lose
What do you think?
Be ready to take off your pants
My nickname is "Mahjong Master"
I've never lost in my entire life
Do you feel scared?
Come on!
We'll see
This time will have something to see
You four are so pretty
Concealed Kong!
I shall make you four naked
Concealed Kong!
See all you four's private parts
Concealed Kong!
Let me show you a bit of mine
:53:
Autumn, how come you shed your pants?
Come on, come on...
Autumn, you should pick up your pants quickly
It's no good if Master sees it
It will be a big lost
You can't see! Close your eyes.
You too. You should move faster
Quick
Master, your turn
"Ready hand"
You're in trouble now
Concealed Kong!
I didn't call for ready hand, I can win by 3 options
I shall take off all your pants!
Be quick, be quick...
The curtain was blown up
Bamboo 7!
Character 2!
Which one? Bamboo 4 then
Master
Yes?
Time flies, it's your turn again
Get ready to take off your pants!
Dot 3, I win!
What did you concealed in your Kong?
No hurry. I will reveal it slowly,
and you let me see the Dot 2.
Why is it?
Isn't it the fake hand this time?
It's few hundred points all together
Master, you've lost more than a hundred thousand
Fat girl!
You changed my tiles
I didn't
You dare to say you didn't?
Don't grab my hair
Tranny?!
No...
You beat my buddy?
Help
Tranny again!
Hell?"...
Okay Please come and help!
Tranny! Beat you damn tranny.
Master!
You naughty angel again?
Any one help!
Quiet!
You've hit his pressure point again, Captain
I'm sorry
What is it?
Marlboro, want one?
Come on, one per each
What is the use of smoking this?
No use. You're also working as a maid even it's useless
That's right...
Master cannot move now and no one dare to sexual harass us
That's very good
Yes. But we're in bigger trouble
If someone uncovers it, we're done
So we should hide him somewhere
until I know how to release him
You don't know how to release it?
Can I?
Of course you can
So... will he starve to death?
Yes
So we should arrange someone to feed him milk
Feed him milk?
But who?
I got it
Let's use the method just now
Whoever was picked shall feed him
I shall close my eyes first
Humm...
it's... you
Why?
Because you have experience
You go to the firewood room every day regularly
and squeeze some milk from a cow to feed him
Then he won't die in this case
I want to find my wig first
For Master's disappearance... Shelia is very smart
She won't stop until she finds him
Let me deal with Shelia
The most urgent thing is... let's take a cigarette
and burn Master's ball
Great...
No...
Madam has an order
The news about Master's disappearance must not leak out
You guys spread out and search every corner in Hua's Residence
see if there is any suspicious clues
Yes!
Who replied me that loudly?
I did, Shelia
I worry you may not able to hear me if I don't speak up
67167, you're still alive?
Sorry, Shelia
I'm still alive
Where have you been these few days?
Besides thinking the beauty of you
I hid myself and cured my heart
By the way, regarding Master's disappearance
I have something in mind, but...
I'm not sure if I'm qualified to tell
Just tell
Master has been very nice and treats the maids good
Do you think we could find something
if we go to the maid's room?
That makes sense
Okay. Let's go together
Yes!
You're in trouble
What? Debunked?
Shelia
Where are Spring and Autumn?
Shelia, they went out for some business
Only few of us here
and ironing some cheap clothes
What happened?
Nothing. Just check out here
Have you seen Master these few days?
No
Really?
No
I shall search perfunctorily
Will we be search?
I Wish
I'm up here...
You really haven't seen Master? Over here
No
Are you blind? Over here... I'm right here!
It would be nice if she whips me
I mean I'm over
Yes, he is over
You should lose some weight
Will do
Hey, get me up
I shall report to Madam
You no need following me
Dismiss
Yes!
Shelia... Fighting!
Nice. We confess first
so she wouldn't suspect us anymore
Of course, how would she search the place she had already searched
Unless it's a girl
Where are you going?
Nothing. Spring will date with me in the firewood room secretly
Firewood room. That dangerous place...
is the best place to make love
Yes... she needs to cook bird's nest for Madam
So nervous
Aren't you going?
I want to borrow your vibrator
That's right. Men with small penises usually
rely on vibrators
Isn't this vibrator yours?
As I'm in a good mood, besides this vibrator...
I also have "Forever naughty"
You can have better endurance if you spray it
Take it
Thank you!
As we are brothers, I'm happy to help you
You've scared me!
Are you scared?
For what
Gay guys no need to take off their clothes when they make love
Nice
What is it?
You would know if you try
Let's tune it faster
She screams for ecstasy
I shall record a movie clip this time
It's a pity that we can't go online or I shall upload it on the Youtube
I shall earn more than ten thousand likes
Good, the fastest
Feel nice?
Good
What is it?
"Naughty forever"
No, I'm scared
Where is it?
Spring
spring
Madam asked you to bring her the bird's nest quickly
I'll be right there
Be quick
Come on. Don't listen to her
Shit, I can't take it out
Where are you going?
I'll be right back
Don't go, Spring
The "Naughty forever" is missing
The remote and the vibrator are missing
And the girl too
I'm so rigid already. What should I do?
Hey... I'm working! What are you looking for?
So smart, you know how to use a broom to clean the floor
Because I don't know how to
If I eliminate of this mistress for you
Your husband will not look for whore anymore
I shall beat your eyes, so you wouldn't look for whores
I shall beat till your teeth fall
I shall beat till you fall down
I shall beat till you bleed!
I shall beat you...
till you bleed heavily!
Madam, here is your bird's nest
I shall beat you...
What happen to you, Spring?
I'm fine, Madam. I just feel a bit cold
Master disappeared mysteriously
Lord Ning had sent someone to give us a letter
saying he will visit Master the day after tomorrow
Lord Ning is coming the day after tomorrow?
Everyone knows he plans to revolt
He must have something in mind if he visits Master
He is here to check if Master will obey him
Obey him is the same as committing a big rebellion crime
But if Master rejecets him, he'll do something bad to Master immediately
Madam...
I have an idea
What is it?
Let's say... Master is sick?
What if he insists to visit him
Spring!
Are you possessed by evil spirit?
Madam...
I have another idea
What is it?
Madam, your bird's nest is getting cold
You better drink it while it's still warm
Madam, you don't have to worry
I'm here for you... we shall tackle all the problems
I will not let Lord Ning to cast his power in Hua's residence
Shelia...
I heard that Ruthless Scholar has very good internal power
You got to be careful
I'll have it in mind
Madam
What wrong with you?
You gals leave me alone first
Yes, Madam
You should clean up
People in Hua's residence like to play other's boobs
I said we shall pour the leftovers
Look, it's much lighter
Spring, where are you?
Oh Shit!
Spring... Spring
Please don't go
Why do you have to go? Please don't
You've striped already anyway
Be nice
What happened?
Damn... you keep the good stuff for yourself?
Run
Madam...
No more chasing, I am here...
Madam...
Pretty nice
It's really nice!
Good
After you or I shall go first?
Whatever... after you
I'll be quick
Why you didn't shave your legs, madam?
Damn! See how I deal with you
when I can move
The design of this vibrator
has a thread attached at the end
so you can pull it out
Why do you put the end with thread in?
Sorry...
I picked this remote on the street
It was meant to be a pair
I've paid a lot of effort to find it in Harajuku
So lucky this time
We are not lucky this time
I can't imagine Madam feels so horny
She is really lonely
Lord Ning will be here tomorrow
I am worried about Shelia can't handle it
Right, even though Shelia looks ferocious
she actually treats us nice
I don't want anything bad happen to her
When Lord Ning comes here tomorrow
We shall...
Good...
I don't get used to it
What do you mean?
If you don't hurry to use it
can I put it back again?
Please
Lord Ning arrived!
Lord, may I know what you are laughing at?
How would I know?
You laugh even you don't know?
I'm a Lord, it shows my power and prestige.
I can laugh whenever I like
Madam Hua, why are you crying?
You are the Lord
How can I show my respect to you if I only cry after you die
I shall cry until you die
to show my respect
Where is your husband?
Does he look down on me?
Our master... he...
Master is here!
67167, don't say something nonsense
I am not. Master is here
I am here
You come out that late.
Are you looking down on me?
No...
Master, Why you come suddenly?
Madam, I haven't haggled with you over
that you had two in a row last night
So you better shut up for me today
You are so smart. You make him drink the mute-milk
Madam, what is "two in a row"?
One Chinese sausage and one smooth sausage
Haven't you eaten that before?
You didn't agree to be my sworn brother last time
You don't give a shit to me
No, it's not
I don't dare to do that
You don't dare? You told people that
you are better than me both on smartness and Kung Fu
And you said your dick is longer than me
I brought Dui Tong-gai and Ruthless Scholar here today
If you have someone in Hua's Residence that is better than them
as well as a longer dick than me
I shall let you flee
Otherwise, I'll inform the Emperor that you insult the Lord
I'll make him kill your whole family!
Alright...
No... Okay...
No... No...
You don't have a choice! Dui Tong-gai, come out!
Show him your talent!
I, Dui Tong-gai, is a civil official under the Lord
I am the Saint of Rhyming Couplets
Please allow me to set the first half of poem
Listen!
Men for the country shall embrace both smartness and Kung Fu ability
Compositions shall follow history, Kung Fu shall include all weapons
in order to show heroism!
Match!
Right, go... match it Thinking... Thinking...
Women for their husband shall embrace her husband twice a day
Composition shall follow his needs, techniques shall be all-rounded
in order to show womanhood!
Nice
This match is too vulgar
but matches well
Then you make another one to beat him
Vulgar guy, who are you
I have no name
I am just a servant in Hua's residence. My servant number is 67167
I studied in no. 131 Argyle Street in Hong Kong
I graduated from The Diocesan Boys' School
I always truant in Chinese lesson and watched movie in Grand Theatre
Now I am just a person who pours the shit in here
Sounds like something
Yes I am
I've learned composing poem from the Master for 3 days
People out there are gossiping about me
They call me the Saint of Rhyming Couplets
So listen up
I shall give you a super first half of poem
Warbler and swallow, green and red
Harmonious everywhere
Matched... matched...
Dimwit and pervert, dirty and horny
Stupidity is in everyone
Done... he made it...
If you don't have new one, it shall be my turn
Ok... Come on
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
What is it?
It's the language of the Great Britain
It's foreign language. I bet you know it?
How would I know foreign language?
Are you kidding, buddy
Your boss has so many business with foreigners
You are the smartass under him you don't know foreign language?
You better stay in the Hua's residence to pour shit
Do you mean
that our Lord has private businesses with foreigners?
You are the one who say so
We all heard you
That guy said so. You're done
I am the Ruthless Scholar
Anyone among the Hua's residence
dare to fight with me alone?
Fighting is my...
buddies' expertise
You don't look like you are good at fighting
Come on
Beat him!
Thanks, Shelia
What's up?
Nothing
It hurts!
Lord, I...
Why... is it?
I just turned up and I didn't have enough of my scripts
Lord, I don't want to...
The suction act!
Autumn
Go to hell!
See how you can suck so happily
You have hidden some assassins to assassinate me
You're dead this time
Lord, please appease. We don't know he is an assassin
Your family will be killed if I report to the Emperor
What can we do to stop you reporting to the Emperor?
I heard that there is a gorgeous girl in Hua's residence
If you give her to me, I'll let it be
That's great!
Alright
For the people in Hua's residence and it's our pleasure to please Lord
I have to sacrifice myself
I want Autumn!
Who is she?
You are really gorgeous!
Be ready... I'll come and get the girl after 3 days
You deserve it! So disgrace!
Shelia
You are really here
Are you alright?
How do you know that I'm in the firewood room?
You ancient people usually hide in the firewood room when you got shot
You have nowhere to go
I treated you badly before.
You must take this chance to revenge
Bullshit
I never think about revenger
Especially to those who has C-cup or above
I don't understand what you're talking about
Why are you crying, Shelia?
I cry because I was shot by a poison weapon. I am dying
I don't ever have a chance
to kill the traitor, the Lord Ning, by myself
How come you hate him so much and need to kill him by yourself?
My parents died because of against him. They fell in his trap
I got it
Shelia, you are fainting
It's not good. I need to suck your poison out
No way! I'd rather die!
Don't worry.
I was a member of St. Moseph Ambulance Brigade
You'll be fine after I suck it out
I suppose you agreed with me if you don't answer
I am moving your hands
and taking off your clothes
I am sucking now
You've waken up?
I've saved you but you're beating me?
You... treat me this way
How can I get married?
Shit. I suck only. I didn't do anything to you
If you were a virgin
you are still a virgin now
You made my two spots that big
my husband in future wouldn't like it
Big is nice. I kinda like it
If no one marries you, I'll marry you
Actually, you look like my first sweetheart
That's why I save you
First sweetheart?
Yes. Her name is Shelly
I've been to her home
She has a portrait that looks exactly the same as you
She said you are her great-great-great-grand aunt?
Bullshit
It was not a bullshit
I am not people of this decade
lam a Hong Konger in 2014
2014?
Yes. Look if you don't trust me
You ancient people don't have this in your decade
Do you have a watch?
I trust you
My master Sister Future has the same one as yours
Are you kidding?
She has a hundred-year internal power
She can travel between different spatial
She always goes to buy IV
at the Canton Road in Hong Kong in 2014
Really?
You don't trust me? I shall bring you to her
Great! I'm running out of my cigarettes anyway
What happened to you?
L... maybe because I suck the poison from you
It moves down there that makes me feel very bad
So what should I do?
How about this. You suck the poison out for me
If you got poisoned again, I'll suck it out for you
Such and such
Let me take it out now
Come. Come here
Come on. It'll be quick
You're obscene!
Master
What are you yelling?
It's just 200 sq. Ft. Big in here. You can see it through
Where is your master?
Maybe she had gone for time travel again
Master
St. Loran?
Don't be nonsense. She is Sister Future
Yes. Sister Future, how do you do
You don't have to tell. I know it
You're from 2014
I just come back from there
I bought something and had a meal in Tsui Wah Resturant
I should have asked you to get me a crispy bun with butter
Oh yes, Sister Future
Would you let me know how can my buddies and I
go back to Hong Kong in 2014?
No problem. I can teach you the way to transfer the time
Let's go
But it takes one hundred year to learn
I am already 130 years old
I learnt it successfully 3 years ago
I can teach you if you like
I love it. But is there any faster ways?
The sunspots are very active in these two days
There will be even a magnetic storm from 5pm to 7pm tomorrow
If you go back to where you were when you came here
You may experience the thunder
If you do hit by the thunder
You have 1 over 3 million chance to go back
Sister Future, you are well educated
Because I had studied a master degree
in Physics in City University
Great. 1 in 3 million chance
I can't do anything if I am not hit
Yes you have
Stick these three symbol prints on your bodies
Then can guide you through
Sister Future, you do have talent
Why do you need to study that much?
Sometimes you need to bluff
That sounds right
Actually why do you go back?
There is a tie between you two through generations
You two can be together forever
You
don't have any future if you go back
So mean. I think we should get married
Let's talk about it later
Go ask my master to teach you how to release the pressure point hit
Yes... Sister Future, would you teach me how to release the pressure point hit?
Yes
Release the pressure point hit?
What are you looking at?
This symbol prints is not for you to look at
It's for you to eat
Your master does dear me
It's your luck that you can still move
Master, Lord Ning will come and make Autumn as his wife
What should we do?
It's just sex
Autumn doesn't give me anyway.
Just give it to Lord Ning
Damn Dammit
Master, Shelia is willing to marry Lord Ning for Autumn
Don't be silly. You want to kill him
You'll put me in danger
Lord Ning means to revolt
He will never let go of you, Master
I can take his side
Insidious
Master, you will aid and abet the evil in this case
You don't have to say
I didn't blame you for the "two in a row" issue
It wasn't my will, Master
Master...
You don't have to say. You're not people of my time
Go away
I'm not going anywhere!
You hit his pressure point by accident again
How can I be so careless?
I mean to do it on purpose this time
Damn, who is it? Look!
Where shall I beat?
The balls
Of course
Donnie Yen!
Shelia, the Lord Ning have to die
I think you want to marry him for Autumn
and kill him when you got a chance
But three of you need to leave at 5pm tomorrow
I just worried Shelia can't do it by herself
Madam, we cannot let Shelia to risk alone
I am willing to marry Lord Ning tomorrow
Shelia can hide and kill him when there is a chance
This is a good method
It's a pity that we can't stay and help them
It's the last chance for you
to go back 2014 at 5pm tomorrow
We won't have future. You are not worthy to be give up for me
Actually I can...
wish you success
Hey! Would you two behave?
This is the living room of Hua's residence
We shall prepare
Let's go
Let's see how to get ready
Two in a row
Madam, what's up?
You two have to leave tomorrow anyway
Why don't we...
Here?
You just said it's the living room of the Hua's residence
What am I afraid of? It's my living room anyway
We better go to the room
Right, Master. I said I don't want to, right?
So who comes first?
You come first
Please take care of her
Autumn. Why are you so late?
...
Can I come in?
Yes, please
What's up?
I decided to... sacrifice myself tomorrow. I'm gonna to lure Lord Ning
so Shelia has a chance to kill him
But tonight...
I want to give my first time to...
the one I like
Come on. It's cold
Autumn, listen to me
I don't deserve you to... do it for me...
Actually there are a lot of guys out there who like you
You should save it for them
I have to go tomorrow. Trust me...
You will meet someone famous
and loves you dearly
Really?
Why should I cheat you?
Listen to me. Go back and have a good sleep
You will have a happy life in future. You got it?
Goodnight
If I am not here tonight...
I will also tell her to go
I don't believe it
You have to. I am leaving tomorrow anyway
How about this. Let's take some selfies
Selfies?
Yes
What is it?
Cell phone
Look! You can see yourself
I had sex with Shelia last night
I've used up the whole box of condom
As I know after tonight
I don't have a chance to see her again
Madam also exhausted us last night
because we are running out of condoms...
Take one!
Alright, bros. Let's see our own luck
See you in 2014!
If you are loyal to me.
I'll promote you to be my henchman
I think I do
Fatty Praying Mantis?
Jade-dragon?
Who replied me that loudly?
I did, Shelia
You made my two spots that big
my future husband wouldn't like it
Big is nice. I kinda like it
If no one marries you, I will
What's up?
I'm not going back
Don't be silly. You have to think clearly
I can't leave Shelia alone
Hey, don't be silly...
You don't have any condoms left!
What should we do? Does someone know how to fly an airplane?
No
We do
Where did you go?
You've disappeared for exactly a minute
You've scared us
Where is Captain Cool?
We can only wish him luck
Stop it. Let's get work
Yes, yes
Go back to your work too
Be nice...
Come in later
You have control, Bro.
You dimwit
I shall say that
Lord Ning has arrived!
Welcome, Lord!
Where is the Lord?
The Lord is not coming
He worries that you have set up here
He sent me here to fetch Autumn
Tell her to come out!
You can't hit my lethal point
The suction act!
Madam
Shelia! Count on you!
There is one left
I shall suck you here!
Let me do it! Pepper!
You again?
The suction act!
I will regret it if I don't rape you!
Why did you say that after you shot it?
I was worried that you wouldn't let me shoot if I mentioned it before.
Smile
The suction...
My Tong's overlord spear
shall insert to your lethal point, your anal this time
Shit, it's the anal
How difficult could it be?
I'll die even if you use chopstick to insert my anal
Tang Bohu!
Actually I'm not Tang Bohu. I am fake
He is the real Tang Bohu
Shit
You don't have to run this fast
Go!
Are... you really Tang Bohu?
I am
You are Autumn?
Yes
Autumn
First bow to heaven and earth!
Second bow to both parents!
Couple bow to each other!
Send to the bridal room!
Bro. Lee
I can marry Autumn today
I shall be thankful to you, Bro. Lee
You're welcome
You wouldn't come and help if you don't have any advantage
Anyway Yes
Actually I have a fair deal that I'd like to discuss with you
I'm not sure if you're interested
Please tell, Bro. Lee
Shelia is a good girl
Congratulations...
Autumn is also nice
Yes...
But I have something that I should tell
What is it, Bro. Lee?
Autumn came to my room with full of love in her eyes
I've let her go
What shall I say?
Let's exchange wife!
Bullshit!
They must very happy. They're in pairs
Bodhisattva, please give me a handsome man
My wish is granted. Thank you!
You come to see me in your wedding night
I'm so touched
Madam, it is a very big misunderstanding!
Please feel free to sit
I go to get some drinks in the kitchen
The second rich generation
Shelly, this ancient lady looks really like you
She is my great-great-great-grand auntie?
She is a chivalrous woman in Ming Dynasty
How about the one next to her?
He is my great-great-great-grand uncle
How come he dressed so funny?
Let's... go to my room to start the tutorial
Let's