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Hold on, I can't hear you.
Okay, that's better. Where are you guys?
No, I don't... I don't know where that is.
I don't... I don't have GPS on this phone.
Well, can you just give me directions from here?
Hello?
Shit.
Come on.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm just...
- Couldn't help but... - Yeah. No, no, I'm fine. I just...
I lost my friends. And I have no reception. So...
Where are you headed?
- Lan Kwai... - Lan Kwai Fong.
- Yeah. - You need directions?
Yeah, that'd be great. I don't have GPS on my phone.
Yeah, I heard. So, it's easy. You just walk down these stairs here, okay?
- Take a right on Elgin. - Okay.
- And you go till you hit the escalators. - Escalators.
- Yeah, mid-level escalators. - Okay, what building?
- No, they're outside. - Oh, like in the middle of the street?
Yeah. It's one of Hong Kong's most famous sights. The mid-level escalators.
It's in all the guidebooks.
- The mid-level escalators. - Yeah, okay.
Okay? So you go up two blocks, you take a right on Hollywood.
You know, I think I'm just... I'll just ask someone when I get off the escalators.
- Are you sure? - Thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I...
I can... I can walk you there.
No.
- Thanks, though. - Yeah.
- Okay. Just down to the right.
- You lost already? - Yeah, you know, it's...
It's just pretty confusing down there.
Well, my offer still stands.
Are you sure I'm not taking you away from anything? I don't...
It's fine. It's a big birthday party,
I doubt anyone will miss me for 5 minutes. So let me just text somebody.
Okay. Good to go.
- I really appreciate it, thank you so much. - Don't mention it. Don't mention it.
- I'm Ruby, by the way. - Nice to meet you, Ruby by the way.
- I'm Josh. - Hey.
- First time in Hong Kong? - Yes, it is. I'm guessing it's not yours.
No, I live here. Where you from?
- California. - Cool.
- San Francisco? - Nope, L.A.
- And where are you from? - New York.
- What? - Nothing, it's just so cliche
for New Yorkers to hate on L.A.
- So have you ever been? - No, I never saw the need.
What? You got something against nice weather?
See there's something very wrong with your city when the only good thing
- you have going for it is the weather. - Okay, that's not the only nice thing.
Yeah, I guess. If you like earthquakes.
- So this is Soho. - Just like New York.
- And London. - Buenos Aires.
Apparently you're not a major city unless you have a Soho.
- What does this Soho stand for? - South of Hollywood.
I wonder why L.A. hasn't jumped on that bandwagon... don't even start.
- So what brings you to Hong Kong? - Work.
- What do you do? - I design toys.
Well, that's cool. What kind?
Have you ever seen those stuffed animals that sing and dance?
My niece is obsessed with this one toy. It's a... it's a beaver, but it's...
- Justin Beaver. - Justin...
- Yeah. - Oh, my... you?
- I designed that. Yep. - What? Really?
That's pretty cool. She's obsessed with one toy and you designed it.
- Apparently. - What else you got?
Let's see, I have... Moos Like Jagger. It's a cow.
- Lady Ba-ba. A sheep. - A sheep? Where can I get one of these?
I don't know. If I see you next time I'll give you one.
Are you planning on getting lost around here in the near future?
Well, now I know who to call.
You don't even know if I'm taking you to the right place.
Yeah. My mother did warn me about talking to random strangers,
- in a foreign city. - Such oddly specific advice.
She's like that. She's like a fortune cookie.
So these are the famous mid-level escalators.
- Ready for the ride of your life? - Let's do it.
- Technology strikes again. - What do you mean?
They're on a date and they're just on their phones.
Maybe they've been going out for a long time and they just ran out of things to say.
No way. They're on their third date, at most.
- How do you know? - The way they're dressed.
I'm sorry, what are you talking about?
What were you saying?
Oh, wait, so I actually make a left here.
Yeah, we go down here, and then you we down peel.
Okay. Right, you know what? I'm gonna be okay.
I'm gonna... I don't wanna take up any more of your time.
Yeah, I guess I should... should get back.
- Cool. Nice to meet you. - Yeah, it was nice to meet you too.
Thanks very much.
- Bye. - Bye.
Hey, you know what? Another 10 minutes is not gonna hurt.
- Really? - Yeah, I should make sure you get there.
What a gentleman.
I just don't want to be accused of anything in case you go missing.
That was really creepy. I'm sorry.
- So creepy. - Sorry. I take it too far.
So what do you do here in Hong Kong?
Nothing as exciting as designing toys, that's for sure.
- Come on. What do you do? - I don't wanna bore you.
All right, I'll guess then. You're an expat in Hong Kong so I'm thinking...
- Trust fund baby? - What? Jesus, no.
All right. So you're in finance.
I know we're not the most popular people in the world right now.
I feel so sorry for you.
Trust me, I'd rather be doing something creative like you.
- Like what? - Like writing, actually.
Oh, what did you study in college?
I was a double major, I studied business and English lit.
- So what happened? - I guess my practical side won out.
I got my MBA. But now, whenever anybody asks me what I do for a living,
I feel the need to follow it up with, but I did study literature in college.
Yeah. I get that. It's not like I went to school to design toys.
How did you become a toy designer?
Well, out of design school I thought I was gonna be the next Vera Wang,
but I quickly realized that it is much easier finding a job designing toys.
- Still want to do something with fashion? - Oh, yeah, definitely.
But instead of designing my own label, I think I'd love to own my own boutique
and be able to curate all my own pieces.
- Got pretty good style, what's stopping you? - Thanks. Student loans. Rent.
- The need to eat on a regular basis. - Eating is highly overrated.
Coming from a guy who probably has caviar for breakfast.
No, I have cocaine for breakfast.
Caviar is like a... a late afternoon snack.
So do you still write on the side?
- I'm working on a novel. - Oh, you're a novelist.
I think you have to finish the book before you call yourself a novelist, but...
- Kind of. - What's it called?
Do you really wanna know?
I just keep asking you questions because I love hearing the sound of my own voice.
You're kind of sassy, you know that?
So?
It's...
it's called, "living on Hong Kong time."
You mean, living on jet lag time?
I had this boss when I was living in New York, and he said,
"let's hustle people, it's already tomorrow in Hong Kong."
And that phrase... that phrase like really stuck with me because...
it's so fast paced here, it really is already tomorrow.
Guess what?
It's still yesterday in L.A.
That's funny. It's probably very true too.
I think if you gave it a solid chance, you'd really like it there.
- Yeah, I hear the weather's amazing. - So what's it about?
It's a far-fetched story about an American expat
living in Hong Kong, and all his misadventures.
I've always been intrigued with expats.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I mean, they always gave the impression that living abroad is so glamorous, but...
when my grandparents immigrated to The States from Hong Kong,
their journey was anything but glamorous.
And what makes them immigrants, and you expats?
Well, I guess expats are living abroad temporarily, and...
- an immigrant is there to stay. - Okay.
- So how long have you been in Hong Kong? - 10 years.
Do you have any plans to move back to New York any time soon?
- Nope. - Okay, so...
A white investment banker living abroad is an expat,
and a Chinese restaurant worker living in Arcadia is an immigrant?
I guess I never really thought about it that way.
Yeah. It just kind of ironic, that my grandparents worked so hard
to give us a better life in The States, and yet here we are.
- We're all just flocking back to Asia. - It's like most of my friends here.
The far east movement.
This is really pretty.
Yeah, so these are like, the last four remaining gas lamps in the city.
Cool.
This is the first Starbucks in Hong Kong.
Try that. Ready? Let's try.
Do you guys want me to take a photo for you?
- Yeah, that'd be so great, thanks so much. - Yeah, no worries.
Okay. Cheese.
- There you go. - Did you want a photo?
- No, we just met... - Yeah, let's get a photo! Come on.
- It'll be fun. Right by the gas lamps. - Sure. Thank you.
Thanks.
- Say cheese. - Cheese.
- Thank you. All right, have a good night. - Thank you. Thank you.
- Bye. - Bye.
It's pretty cute.
- Yeah. It's not bad. - I mean, I look good.
I was just gonna say, you messed up the shot.
I messed up the shot?
- See that? - Yeah.
- That's my office right there. - You work inside the Bank of China building?
No, no. This is the H.S.B.C. building.
That right there, that's the Bank of China building.
Please let me buy you a guidebook.
It almost makes it worth being a banker.
All those lights on in the offices, it's 11:00 on a Friday night.
Those are all people working.
- It's not as glamorous as it looks. - Guess not.
So how long have you been in finance for?
Basically the entire time that I've lived here.
- That's a long time. - Yeah.
Do you not like it very much?
Well, it's all fun and games until someone triggers a global recession.
Oh, look at that. They're so cute.
- Should we photobomb? - Yeah, let's do it.
Cheese!
Not to be confused with dragon's back, which is a hike.
- Okay. - I should write a tour guide book.
Yeah, you should. You're very knowledgeable.
And this is Lan Kwai Fong, right across the street.
Yeah.
I'm really surprised you got me here in one piece.
- Oh, you're surprised? - Yeah.
- Oh, God. I'm sorry, I'm not... - It's all right.
Whoo. I'm not used to people driving on the wrong side of the road.
Well, here it's the right side. Come on.
- You saved me. - I saved your life.
- Thank you. - Yeah. You owe me.
This is crazy.
Yeah, it's pretty much like this every night.
- So, which bar are your friends at? - Club 97.
- Really? - Yeah.
- God. That's like, that's right around here. - Oh, God.
Yeah. Now I remember why I never come here.
A little insane, I know. And... all right, you see that...
that neon sign, the purple neon sign? That's...
Hey, Josh?
I had a really great time getting lost with you tonight.
- Yeah, me too. - And...
you know, like, I'm gonna see my friends in the morning and...
I was thinking maybe we could just grab a drink together instead.
Or, not. If you have to go.
I mean...
No, yeah. I'd love to grab a drink.
Awesome. Should we just go to one of these joints?
No, no, these are cheesy tourist places, you don't want this.
- Okay, so where do you want to go? - Let's get out of the depths of hell.
Come on.
Oh, this is great.
- More your speed, right? - Yes.
Are you sure this isn't too civilized for you?
Well, if you hate him so much why don't you just quit?
- Okay, what would I do for money? - Write.
It's a hobby, no one's gonna pay me to write.
How can you fail with that kind of attitude?
Well, I did tell myself at the eight year mark I was gonna quit,
but it's hard, you know, you get accustomed to a certain lifestyle.
Yeah. Sex, drugs, and Gucci suits.
It's actually, sex, drugs, and number crunching, but it was close.
I keep telling myself every year, this is the year I'm gonna save enough money.
- But at the end of the year... - You get that bonus check,
and then you're sucked right back in.
Those high-class problems?
You gotta suck it up. You've gotta stop being a wuss.
I mean, when are you 100% ready... ever ready, to do anything?
You know, you've worked so hard for this safety net.
So if you want to take some time off to write this book, then you've earned that.
You're absolutely right.
I'm always right.
- Excuse me. I need the ladies' room. - Yeah.
Hey.
I'll see you soon. Okay. Bye.
- Hey. - Hey.
Ready for another round?
I would love to, but actually I need to get back to the party.
Okay. I get it. Your friends are probably waiting.
Yeah, and my girlfriend's there too, so.
- Your girlfriend? - Yeah, probably should get back.
Yeah.
Thanks for the drinks.
Wait, Ruby. Ruby.
- Hold on. Ruby. - Yeah.
- You okay? - Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?
You sure?
Let me just get this right.
You left your girlfriend at a bar so you can come to another bar
- with another girl? - It was a big birthday party.
- It's not like I left her alone. - Okay. That totally makes it okay then.
I could have lied to you right now, but I didn't.
- No, you should have just told me earlier. - What was I supposed to say?
Sure, I'll walk you to your friends, but by the way, I have a girlfriend?
I didn't ask you if you have a boyfriend.
Do you... do you have a boyfriend?
No. Because if I did, I wouldn't be here right now.
I wasn't planning on this, okay? I don't do this type of thing ever.
I'm trying to apologize. If I misled you in any way, I'm sorry.
It's fine. I'm leaving tomorrow,
don't even worry about it.
Well, I mean, should we exchange contact information now?
Or how does this... what do we do? I don't know how does this work?
Really? God, I feel really bad for your girlfriend.
Don't. Okay?
This was such innocent stuff compared to what she was doing back at the bar.
She was flirting with a bunch of aussies, taking shots, completely embarrassing me.
Whose birthday was it?
Yeah.
This night just gets better and better.
That sounds worse than it really is.
You know, I have to say,
thank you for a really interesting night.
Ruby?
Josh.
- Hey. - I... I can't believe that it's you.
How are...
- How are you? - How... how are you?
- I'm good. Yeah. - Good, good.
- Good. - What are you doing here?
I'm just picking up some clothes in Kowloon.
No, I mean, what are you doing in Hong Kong?
I... I actually live here now.
- Really? - Yeah.
Yeah, I got a promotion.
- Well, congrats. - Thank you.
Yeah, the tradeoff was I had to come live here for a year, so, here I am.
I can't believe you... wait, you live here, in Hong Kong?
I'm sorry, should I have notified you first?
I thought that next time we were gonna see each other,
you were gonna give me a Lady Ba-ba.
God, I really hope you weren't holding your breath since last year.
You know, I should apologize about last year.
- About that... - Don't even... don't even worry about it.
- It was... it's fine. It's not a big deal. - No, I was... I was kind of a jerk.
Yes, you were. A big jerk.
All right, all right.
God, I have to know, how mad was your girlfriend
when you finally showed up to that bar?
- Yeah, she wasn't happy, that's for sure. - Yeah, I bet.
- Did you guys work things out? - Are you asking if we're still together?
Nah, why don't we just hang out for a couple hours, and you can just surprise me later.
- It's more dramatic that way. - Yeah, fair enough. I deserve that.
- Yes. Yes, we're still together. - Oh, good for you. Good for you.
- So, how about you? Are you seeing anyone? - Yeah, I am. I am.
What?
You let me ride the ferry with you this whole time you didn't mention, not once,
- that you had a boyfriend. - Yeah, I guess we're even now.
- Did you meet him here, or... - No, no. Back in L.A. Yeah, he's in L.A.
- So it's long distance, then? - Yeah, it is.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm only doing this for a year. So...
I figured if we can weather this, we can weather anything.
I'm sorry, I can't believe...
- I never ride the ferry. This is crazy. - Yeah, this is weird.
- It's weird, right? - It's weird. It's weird. I never go to Cat Lune.
- So, it was really good running into you. - Yeah.
I'm like... I was really glad we got to catch up.
Definitely.
So... where are you off to now?
- I'm picking up clothes. - Oh, right. Right. Where?
Chungking Mansion.
You need me to come with you?
- No, I think I can handle it. - Are you sure?
Yeah, yep, I've got a GPS now.
- No, I mean, that's a sketchy area. - Really?
Look, I think your boyfriend would want me to go with you.
I'd be doing him a solid. Minding the perimeter, and shit.
Okay. Whatever. If you must.
- It's this way. - Yeah, that's...
- I just thought I'd dropped something. - Yeah, no. Totally.
Oh, did you see that guy?
- That guy, that bleeding guy. - What are you talking about?
Are you sure we're in the right place, most of these tailor shops are on the ground floor.
Yeah, we're right here.
Sorry. I'm here to pick up a suit.
You really didn't see that guy?
Okay.
So, who's the suit for?
- Are we picking up a suit for your boyfriend? - You said you wanted to come.
- What's his name? - Suit not ready.
- Wait, what? - Suit not ready.
No, no, no, no, I called this morning, and you said it'd be done today.
Sorry, suit not ready. Next week, come back.
Okay.
Your suit will be ready this weekend, and you're getting a 15% discount.
What?
Thank you.
- What was that? - What?
That was amazing. I didn't know you could speak Cantonese so well.
Hey, I told you I'd come in handy.
- It's so weird watching you speak Chinese. - It's weird watching you speak English.
- Whatever, that's different. - How is it different?
It's different because I grew up in the States.
Well, I spent the last ten years of my life here.
It's still weird. No, only because I don't speak any Chinese.
Yeah, if it makes you feel any better, I don't speak a lick of Yiddish.
- My grandmother thinks that's mashugana. - What does that mean?
I have no idea.
Okay.
Okay. Well, I should probably get going. But, thank you.
- All right. - Thanks.
Hey, I...
I gotta be at this thing in a few hours, but I've got some time to kill.
Oh, no.
You don't even know what I was gonna say.
Yeah. It started to sound eerily familiar.
One drink.
Totally platonic.
Okay. Fine, fine. But only because...
You got my boyfriend a discount.
- That's all it takes? - My boyfriend...
Yeah.
A really good discount.
I mean, look at this here.
Is this where you take all the ladies?
When I'm not haggling for their boyfriend's menswear, yes, yes.
- This is... this is where I take the ladies. - Oh, it's super swanky.
- Don't worry, I'll pay for it. - Using the good, old expense account?
I wish.
You know, technically it's okay, because I am now officially a customer of H.S.B.C.
- So you can totally write it off. - Well, I don't have an expense account.
- I quit my job. - What?
Yeah.
When?
Right after I met this sassy girl from L.A.
- No, you actually took me seriously? - I'm a pauper now because of you.
And you're making me feel bad?
- You want a drink? - Yeah. Hi.
- What can I get for you? - I'll take a glass of rose, please.
Yeah, a vodka Redbull. - Can I have a credit card?
- Oh, yeah. - No, here, I'll get it. No, seriously.
- No, no, no, no. Please. - No, it's my treat.
No, you got it last time.
I mean, that's a first.
A girl buying me a drink in Hong Kong.
- So you don't have an office anymore. - No, I don't have an office.
Don't have a secretary, I just work at home.
- Cheers to that. - Cheers to this.
Even though I only said one drink.
But, I'm just trying my best to...
- to treat it like a day job, you know? - What do you mean?
Like I clock in at the same time every day. You know, I put the hours in.
Good. And do you ever get writers block?
I read somewhere that if you're blocked, it means you're writing about the wrong things.
Okay. It looks like someone's been googling quotes about writers block
instead of actually writing.
Busted. I mean, who knows what will happen.
How many unpublished books are out there just waiting to be ignored.
- Don't do that. Don't do that. - What?
You should be proud of yourself. You took a chance, and you went for it.
You know? You're never gonna have to look back and wonder "what if."
Thanks.
You know, I always knew we'd be great friends someday.
Don't get too ahead of yourself. Let's see how the rest of the night pans out first.
- No way. I'm not taking that risk. - What are you doing?
- I'm facebooking you. - No.
What is your last name?
What is it?
- It's Lin. - Ruby Lin?
- Yes, it is. - I like that.
Ruby Lin.
Okay. Is that you?
Yep.
Cute pic.
"Facebook friend request from Joshua Rosenberg."
- Your last name is Rosenberg? - It is.
- Could you be any more Jewish? - Could you be any more racist?
I'm just Joshing you.
Okay, we're not gonna say that joke again. That's an awful joke.
- I've been waiting all night to say that. - That's an...
This is the part where you hit the "accept" button.
I don't know about that.
I just don't know if our relationship is ready to be taken to the next level yet.
Okay, this is the part where you hit the button... you just hit the button.
- I'm gonna think about it. - What? Really?
Yeah, really. Excuse me. I have to use the ladies' room.
So cold.
Ready to go?
I can't wait to stalk you on Facebook later.
Stalking is okay, poking is not allowed.
Look at this skyline. They go all in on the light show.
It's easy to see why people fall in love with it.
Yeah.
But?
I just don't think that I'm in love with it yet.
- No? - No.
Let me bitch about a couple of things and I'll never bring it up ever again.
Okay. Hit me.
I just think the people here are a little superficial...
that they only care about money, or the perception of having money.
- Not everyone. - For example, our company receptionist
has multiple Louis Vuitton purses,
and I know for a fact, even though it's none of my business,
that just one of those purses costs more than her monthly salary.
- Yeah, she's got her priorities straight. - She doesn't even have her own apartment.
- She lives with her parents, she's 35. - That's a cultural thing, though.
And when you're saving money on rent, you can buy purses.
It's always raining at the worst times possible.
And there's like a random typhoon every other week.
But if it's a signal 8, you get off work.
- I miss Netflix. - Just run a VPM program.
And the Mexican food, not good.
Yeah, okay, that one I'll give you.
I mean, we live in a major cosmopolitan city
and, yet, they still make nachos with doritos and yogurt.
Ruby, stop. Would you look at this?
Look at this.
You're harping about nachos? Really?
I know, but aren't there just some foods that you miss from back home?
What's a good slice, every now and then? But dim sum? It's so much better.
- Maybe I'm just homesick. - Maybe you haven't been to the right places.
Like where?
- Are you hungry? - I'm always hungry.
All right. I'm gonna take you where the locals eat.
Okay, there's just one thing.
I can't eat chicken feet. Like, I've tried. I've just looked at it. I can't do it.
We'll save that for another time when you're ready.
I'm gonna take you to the best seafood spot in Jordan.
All right.
- Are you paying? - Yeah, it's cheap. I got this.
A post-it, or a curling iron, or...
The one that I always think about is like, the envelope,
with the little window on the envelope.
Oh, the window on the envelope? I'm more into the, like...
- What? - Nothing. Sorry.
Look, don't... could you stop being so judgmental?
- I'm not being judgmental. - You don't know if they're a couple.
- They could be like co-workers or something. - I'm just... Really?
- Do you do that with your co-workers? - Oh, yes, actually.
- You do? Of course you do. - That's a cultural thing here as well
that you will become accustomed to.
Do you think anyone thinks anything of us when they see us together?
- I... no, I don't think that... - Really?
- No. No. - No?
You don't think that people assume that I'm a gold digger?
- A gold digger? - Yeah.
No, if anything, you're employed, and you make more money than me,
so, they'd probably think you're my sugar mama.
I mean, obviously I make more money than you, but they don't know that.
- "Obviously" you do? - They don't know that.
I just... I know... I know I'm being super judgmental,
I apologize, but, I can't help it.
I just... I see couples like this, and I make assumptions.
And I hate that I perpetuate the stereotype even further by dating a white guy.
- What? - What?
- So, Greg's a white guy? - Who's Greg?
He's your boyfriend. You never told me his name so I just gave him one.
Yeah. Greg. I like that name. Yeah, Greg's a white guy.
- So you're one of those Asian girls? - What?
- Yeah. That only date white guys. - I do not only date white guys.
- Really? - No.
Like, the majority have been white, but it's not on purpose.
- It's totally coincidental. - Oh, no, it's okay.
I've had a few Asian girlfriends, and suddenly I...
like, I'm the white guy with an Asian fetish. I fucking hate that.
You gotta get used to couples like this, it's Hong Kong.
- I know. - It's east meets west.
- They're everywhere. All right? - You're right. You're right.
There's this couple in my office...
he's a white guy, and he's married to this beautiful Chinese woman,
and when they first started dating,
he didn't know how to speak any Chinese,
and she couldn't speak any English.
So like, the first like, six dates,
they brought... they brought on like a translator.
- Could you imagine... - Like a person?
Yeah!
A translator. So it was like a table for three instead of a table for two.
Like, it's so... awkward.
I felt so bad for the translator.
I know. There's a couple like that in my building, and, they...
everywhere they go, they get by, but they use like, a, like an app.
- Like a Google translator app. - It's seen that before, too.
Yeah.
Well, do you think that you'd ever be able to be in a relationship like that?
Please. I find it hard enough to date girls who do speak English.
Yeah? How so?
It's just like... it's not a language barrier,
- but it's like a cultural barrier. - Yeah.
TV shows, movies, music I grew up on,
- like it just goes way over their heads. - Yeah. Yeah, I feel you on that one.
It's been really hard for me to connect, you know, with my friends at that level.
I just want to be with somebody who understands what I'm talking about
when I say, like... "no soup for you!"
- Don't piss off the soup Nazi. - Yes.
It's the best soup in town.
Okay, I had this ex girlfriend, and I was trying to watch "Seinfield" with her,
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because I had like, the DVDs,
She was like, "I don't get it," it just seems, like, about nothing.
- And I'm like... - But that's the whole point.
Exactly.
- Yes. - These are cool.
Put it like that.
- And you can take, like, a selfie. - Oh, really?
Here, you ready?
That's awesome. I need this in my life.
You know, they said it was 120 for both.
80.
- No? - 80.
She's tough. We're gonna walk away empty handed.
That's the thing about negotiating, you have to be okay to walk away.
Okay.
We'll buy it here for 120.
How do you do that?
- You gotta work on your negotiation skills. - I'm terrible.
Like, if they say 25, that really means, like, 10.
- 160, 160. - No, not selling.
- 160? 170. - 180.
- 170. - 150, you're screwing this whole thing up.
- No. - It feels like the Batmobile.
160. 160. Do you want it?
- 160? - Yeah!
There's some cute little trinkets.
Wait, this is...
This is Moos Like Jagger. Wait, this is mine, too.
- You designed this? - Yes, I did. Where did you get these?
- What are these doing here? - Very cute.
Yeah, they are very cute. I designed them. He's totally ripping me off.
- Well... - Do I call the police?
You can take it as a compliment.
You know you've made it when you've been ripped off in China.
They're cute. Cute. It's a deal?
- Very cheap. Yeah, real cheap. - They're very cheap. Very good.
Okay. Yeah, you're right.
- It's a silver lining. - Hey, man, do you have the Lady Ba-ba?
- Okay, thank you. Thank you. - 'Cause I can't find that anywhere.
We're not gonna support that.
All right.
- This is the place. - Yum.
Really looking forward to this fresh crap.
Don't worry about that.
This is great.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
- I love this. - Told you.
I know. I was really hesitant at first, but this is... this is really good.
- It's really good. - I can see that you like it.
- You know how I can tell? - How?
Because you have it all over your face.
- Did I get it? - No. Other side. Other side.
- Did I get it? - No. Here. Hold on.
It's been driving me crazy.
- I think I got it. There you go. - Thank you.
- Yeah. - I'm sorry. I'm a messy eater.
Hey, to eat politely is not to eat at all.
- Is that another Josh quote? - It is. Yours truly.
- So, do you come here often? - It sounds like you're hitting on me.
- I used to. Not so much anymore. - Yeah, why not?
I don't know, Sam doesn't really like it that much.
- Sam is your... - Sorry, Sam, she's my girlfriend.
- Sorry. Yeah. Samantha. - Yeah.
Not her kind of place?
No, not really. She likes...
more like, Sushi and French places
- with ceilings and comfortable seats. - Air conditioning?
Yeah, air conditioning. Expensive bills.
Sounds like a delicate flower.
No, no. She's... she's tough as nails, actually.
How?
She grew up in China, not poor, but...
kinda poor, but she managed to... make her way through college
- on a... on a full scholarship to U Penn. - That's really impressive.
Yeah, she's worked really hard to get to where she's at.
- What does she do? - She's a banker.
- Yeah. - Okay.
And how did she take you quitting your job?
You know.
- Not so good? - Yeah. Like...
For someone like her who's worked so hard for every opportunity,
I think it's difficult for her to understand why someone would just throw it all away.
- You're not throwing it away, technically. - Yeah. I know I'm not. But...
It's an ongoing discussion. I guess.
All right. I've had a couple beers...
I'm gonna say something I usually probably wouldn't have. So please don't be offended.
Okay.
I just think it's a little weird that she doesn't understand why you want to write,
or why she doesn't come to one of your favorite restaurants.
Well, do you and Greg agree on everything?
No, we don't, but you know, we've been together long enough
where we've kind of ironed out those important things.
"Those things," meaning what?
You know, it's not just about likes, or dislikes.
It's about supporting each other through your goals and dreams.
She supports me.
I don't want to give you the wrong impression that she doesn't support me.
It's...
That's another thing I can't seem to get used to.
What?
You get to a place where you don't even notice.
I can't imagine not noticing.
Sorry.
Should we get out of here?
Hey, so, I'm really sorry about before.
I didn't realize that you and Sam were so serious.
We've only been going out for two years.
- Two years is a long time. - It's not that long.
It's long enough for the two of you to hit milestones together.
I guess.
Did you guys do the whole meet-the-parents thing?
- She's met mine, yeah. - But... you haven't met hers?
They don't know I exist.
It's complicated. They're not crazy about their daughter dating a gweilo.
But, no, I mean, things are good with us. Overall.
She's got a lot that she wants to accomplish career-wise.
Neither one of us is really ready to settle down yet.
Plus, she's a little younger.
How much younger is a little younger?
Does it really matter?
Josh. Which birthday was she celebrating when we first met?
- 24th. - 24th.
Yeah. I'm not that much older, okay.
- So typical. - What?
I... you're practically a decade older, but that's okay.
It's not like I'm one of these 60-year-old guys chasing around 20-year-olds.
Yeah, not yet. But how do you think it all starts?
Okay, what is the right age that I should be dating, then?
Let's see...
I would say if you're 35,
- late twenties, early thirties. - How old are you again?
- That has nothing to do with this conversation. - Just curious. How old are you?
I'm 30.
How age-appropriate.
Do you know anything about Cantonese opera?
Nope. Are they any good?
I don't know.
These are your people. This is your cultural heritage.
- You should know this. - I don't know anything about Chinese opera.
Well, from one starving artist to another, I should probably tip her.
That's very nice of you.
- Thank you. - It's kind of catchy.
Yeah, it's grown on me.
When are you gonna take your own advice drop the Teddy bears,
and open up a clothing boutique?
I don't know. I think I may stick with singing animals for a while.
- Really? - Yeah.
You know, for a long time I held fashion in such a high regard,
but it was actually much more difficult constructing
a three dimensional toy than it is a piece of clothing.
I just don't think that I appreciated it
because I didn't really spend a lot of time in the factories, but now I do.
- Because last year, you were kind of... - What? Above it all?
- Yeah. - Shut up.
Well, you know, I used to dream of like, seeing my designs at Bergdorf's and Barneys,
but, now I get to see it at every Wal-Mart, and drug store chain in the country.
- They buy quantity. - Exactly.
This one time, I was at Walgreens,
I saw this father buying one of my toys for his daughter...
actually, it, like, brought a little tear to my eye.
- I know, it's super cheesy, but... - It's not cheesy, it's cute.
Hello, hello. Come, come, come.
My birdy tell you fortune, okay?
- He's a poor fortune teller. - That's like a tourist trap.
Oh, yeah, it's so awesome.
Please sit down.
Right. Shall we speak in French, Italian, German, English, American English?
- English. - American English, yes.
- Okay. So... Lady first. Okay? - Yes.
What would you like to know? Fortune, health, study, love, what?
- Love. - Of course.
- Ladies want to know about love. - Always.
Okay. First, you shall move the cards. Okay? Because it's your fortune.
There.
Okay.
- I will give it to the birdy to pick. Okay? - Okay.
The birdy will decide your fortune.
We put it here and then we let the birdy out. Okay?
- Hey. - Oh, my God, it's so cute.
Okay, that's pretty cute.
- What's he doing? - He's indecisive.
- Oh, my God! That was awesome. - Okay, I'm impressed.
- So, here is your fortune. - Oh, thank you.
- You read. Okay? - Okay.
"Love can be likened to a tree,
"when it is blossoming, wait for fruit with patience,
"of course the precondition of our marriage
is that both of you have a disposition for getting along well.
Thank you for your H.K. 50 dollars."
That's it?
But the birds were cute. Right?
- Sorry. No good? - It's good.
- Oh, birdy no good? - No, it's fine.
Okay, never mind. I tell you fortune, for real. Okay? No charge.
You know what? I'm actually all fortuned out, but why don't you do him?
- I tell your fortune. Okay? - Yes. Tell my fortune.
Okay. Good. Come here.
I tell your fortune from your face.
Okay. This side doing it? Okay.
- My God. - What? Everything okay?
Very big nose.
Is that a fortune, or is that just like, a statement?
No, no, no. Big nose means much money. Okay?
- Lots of money. - Should I be offended by this?
- Not at all. He hasn't gotten to your ears yet. - It doesn't sound... Okay.
You have to wait until you are 40.
Big nose, much money when you are 40.
- Until I'm 40, all right. - Right.
- Are you married? - Me? No, no, no, no.
I think maybe come very close.
- Yes. - I think maybe you're engaged.
I was.
Too bad. Right? But never mind. New love coming.
Yes, thank you. You can tell all this by my nose?
No, no. I can tell it from the young lady. The way you look at each other.
- You're good. - Oh, no.
- All right. Well, thank you. - Good.
- You have a beautiful nose, as well, sir. - Thank you.
- Much money. - For the birds. Okay? For the birds.
- Okay. Thank you. - All right. Thank you.
- All right, I'll be back when I'm 40. - Thank you. Thank you. Good luck.
And see if you're right.
What?
So you were engaged once.
There it is. Ten minutes. I knew you were gonna ask me.
What happened? I mean, we don't have to talk about it.
I don't care. I'll talk about it. We were young, and stupid.
We met right after graduation, and we got engaged three weeks later.
Yeah. She was an American lit major.
So... we took a day trip up to Sleepy Hollow
and I got one one knee, right on Washington Irving's grave.
- That's impulsive and weirdly romantic. - Yep.
And then she cheated on me with my friend.
- I'm really sorry. That's awful. - No, it's... actually, it's fine.
It all worked out for the best.
You know, I came here for a job, I was only supposed to be here for a year.
- Sounds familiar. - 11 years later.
- Could I end up here for that long? - Well, you never know.
Yeah, I guess you don't.
- Is he trying to Skype you? - Sorry. No, no, it's just...
my outlook reminder for a Skype call later.
- Wait, your what? - I know, I know. It's pretty dorky.
But he likes to send me an outlook reminder for our Skype dates.
Because it makes him happy to see it in his calendar, so...
Well, I guess that's pretty sweet.
Yeah. It is really sweet.
So how long have you and Greg been...
- Five years, on and off. Yeah. - Yeah?
- So, when we met you were... - Off again. Obviously.
Hey, I don't know.
What's next for you two?
- Sorry. - Yeah, no worries.
My turn. Hello?
Hey.
Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm gonna be there. I just got caught up with something. Okay.
Okay. Coming. Sorry. Bye.
Sam?
No. It was my friends, they're musicians,
they're playing at this little spot over in Hong Kong.
- Do you want to come? - No thanks.
- She's not gonna be there. - I wasn't thinking that.
Okay, then forget I said it.
It would be a good opportunity for you to meet some new people.
- Come on. - No, I don't know. I just...
- It would be weird. - You're being weird.
It's practically on your way home. Come on. We'll split a cab.
- I'm not being weird. - You're being weird, let's just go.
They're a good band.
- Fine, only if you can find a cab. - All right.
This is weird.
Everyone knows you can't find a cross-harbor taxi at this time.
But there's usually a long line of taxis here.
Here we go.
- No? Come on. - See? Told ya. Maybe it's a sign.
- A sign of what? - That I should just take the train home.
No. That's not happening. We're getting a taxi.
- I'm gonna give you one more shot. - Okay. I'll take those odds.
Here we go. This is the one.
- Hey, Josh. - Hey, man, how are you?
- Hey, Josh. - This is Ruby.
- Hi. - How's everything with work?
- Good. - Tell them I said hello.
- Will do. - Thank you.
- You want a drink? - Yeah. That would be great.
- What are you having? - I'll have a beer. Thank you.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- So I want to... - So, I...
- No, you first. You first. - Your friends are great.
- Yeah. Yeah, they have a residency here. - Oh. It's a cool place.
- It's cool, right? - Yeah. What were you gonna say?
I wanted to... I wanted to show you this picture.
- No. - Ten minutes after we met.
- And this got me into a lot of trouble. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. - What happened?
I told Sam what happened that night.
And then she saw this photo three months later.
She was like... "Well, you didn't tell me she was that pretty."
Whatever. She didn't say that.
Thank you very much.
I think we have a few more songs. What do you guys want to hear?
- "Hearts!" - "Hearts!"
Is that their big one?
- The big one. - Yeah?
Okay. Come on. Let's go.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, please. - Come on, come on. Come on.
Josh?
- How's it going? - Hey, Monica. Good.
This is my friend, Ruby.
- Hey. - Hi, I'm Monica, Sam's friend.
His girlfriend.
- She knows Sam. Yeah. - What are you doing here?
We just came here to see Knots and Axes with the guys.
- Well, it was really good seeing you. - Yeah, you too.
- Tell Sam I said hi. - I will. Good to see you. Bye.
Excuse me.
Wait.
- Hey, Josh, we're taking off. - You guys are taking off?
- Yeah. - Why don't you come over sometime?
- Yeah. I will, I will, I promise. - And check out the new...
You okay?
Yeah, I just needed some air.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
It was pretty awful.
Can I get one of these?
Yeah.
What are we doing?
Smoking a cigarette.
I don't know. What do you mean?
I mean this whole night.
- Look... - What are we doing?
I know where you're going with this, but...
Really, we were just hanging out.
Right?
I don't know.
I need to get going.
- Should we split a cab? - Yeah, that's fine.
- Which address? - Ridgeview Terrace.
On Square street, thanks.
Does she appreciate your stupid quotes?
Does he appreciate your sassy attitude all the time?
- It goes right over his head. - That's good, I guess.
It's not fair for them.
We haven't done anything.
- I don't want to be a cheater. - Neither do I.
But... we're not.
I'm talking about emotionally cheating, not just...
All right.
It's hard to define.
You know when you feel it.
Look, I don't think we should beat ourselves up over this.
Maybe just by virtue of the fact that we can have a night like this.
- Two. - Exactly. Two nights like this.
Maybe that means that we should...
take a good look at our relationships and, I don't know...
re-evaluate.
- He's coming this weekend. - Who, Greg?
- Daniel, his name is Daniel. - Daniel.
I was way off.
And he's helping me pack up.
My year is up next week. And the suit was...
for our engagement party.
You're engaged?
Yeah.
I'm sorry. I know, I should have told you sooner, I just...
It's just such a new thing for me. I'm not really used to the idea yet.
You're not wearing a ring.
We're picking out one together when he gets here. It's just...
- more cost-efficient that way. - Good, old, sensible Greg.
- Did he propose over Skype, too? - No.
We discussed it together as a decision we made.
Very, very romantic.
Not everyone can be as impulsive as you.
I'm happy for you, Ruby.
I am.
Except now, I just...
I don't know what I want.
- Okay, total... - Just... one second.
Right here. Meter running.
Just keep it running, it's okay.
What are you saying, Ruby?
I don't know. I just...
This night just threw me for such a loop.
Me too.
I don't want to hurt him.
I don't want to hurt her.
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