This is the first foretaste of the eternal: having time for love.
Rainer Maria Rilke
lsocitrate...
Through isocitrate dehydrogenase in alpha-ketoglytarate...
By alpha-ketoglytarate hydrogenase in...
Yes?
Sorry, can't remember that right now.
Miss Wolf. The citric acid cycle. ATP isthe...
...energy unit of organic life. You've got to know that.
Yeah.
With one acid missing, the cycle is not closed.
I know. Learning by heart was never my strong point.
But as a biologist, I mean, if I need it later, then...
I'll ask this.
Then maybe you should start working for Google.
Well...
I'm sorry. I can't let you pass like this.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, that's it, see you in fall.
Mr. Laube, do you have a moment?
It's about the scholarship.
Unfortunately, the foundation chose someone else.
Your work was great, one of the best.
And I know that you can use the money well, better than most in here.
But you've been a bit naive, haven't you?
Why?
Well, the Adenauer Foundation is not a liberal think tank.
And your attitude towards American drones was quite radical.
Radical? That was all thoroughly researched.
I know, Mr. Laube. But in politics you have to consider:
What is my goal and how can I achieve it?
Strategic thinking. That's what you still have to learn.
And what about attitude? You did talk about attitude.
I'm sorry, Mr. Laube. Have a nice summer.
Likewise.
To make yourself really stable you can do this.
That's right.
Let's do it again. Starting position.
Did you get the pills?
Yes, I did. - Ok.
Mom, I don't know if I'll do it.
Jule, please. We discussed this.
Consider your future... - Yeah, but it's my decision, ok?
And I can't make this decision alone. I...
...have to talk to Alex.
He's involved too, right? - So call him.
I tried, he's not answering.
And maybe that's better.
Why?
I have to speak to him personally. It's not something you discuss on the phone.
I need to see him.
No. No, definitely not.
Please don't call him. Don't tell him, OK?
No, by carpool. Flying is too expensive this late.
Hi, it's Jan. From "Share A Ride", yes.
Where are you?
What? No...
On the website it said 5 p.m.!
Wait... No, wait!
Hello!
Are you heading west, like to Cologne?
Not at all, no.
Ok, thanks.
Hello. - Hi.
Are you heading to Cologne by chance? - No, sorry. Hamburg.
Thanks anyway. Safe trip.
Hello.
Are you heading to Cologne? - Yes, why?
Could you give me a ride?
No, sorry, we're full.
No problem, thanks anyway.
Are you heading to Cologne, by chance?
Yes.
Could you maybe give me a ride?
I had a carpool, but they stood me up.
Now I'm stuck here and...
I'd throw in some gas money.
Or motor oil.
That's ok. You can come along.
Really? Cool! - No problem.
Great.
I just need to wash my hands.
Okay.
Just wait here, ok?
Perfect, thanks.
See you. - See you.
Okay. - All cleaned up?
Jump in.
Alright? - Yeah, fine.
You can sit here.
Jule. - Jan, hi.
You hitchhike a lot?
No, first time.
Lucky me. I asked two people before you.
But they were full or headed elsewhere.
And then you showed up.
Cool ride! Real nice.
Thanks.
It even has a fridge, right?
Yeah, and an oven.
What model is it?
It's a Hymermobil on a Mercedes 303 chassis.
Cool.
It's a bit older, right?
No, brand-new.
About 30.
30 years old?
You travel a lot in it?
Not really, no.
But it's yours. - Yes.
It used to belong to my brother. - Okay.
We traveled in it a lot, but now it's mine.
It "used to" belong to your brother?
My brother... He passed away two years ago.
Shit. I'm sorry.
It's OK.
Want a sip? It's still cold.
Sure. - Shall I open it?
Thanks.
Elderflower?
Homemade? - Yep.
Cool.
Are you from Cologne? - No, Berlin.
So what are you doing in Cologne?
Moving on. I'm taking a bus. To Spain.
Vacation?
No, I'm... visiting my father.
He lives there? - Exactly.
In northern Spain.
What do you do in Berlin?
I study biology at the Humboldt University.
Cool. - And you?
I study, too. Political science.
Cool. - Well, it's a lot of statistics.
I sometimes envy you natural scientists.
Theory, experiment, result: that has such a nice clarity.
Well, it's not that simple...
I blew my biochemistry exam this morning.
I'd prefer not to talk about my studies.
Sure, sorry.
May I ask how old you are?
24.
And you? - Me too.
So we have three more years.
Three years before what? - Before we turn 27.
When all cool people bail out.
Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger...
You think so?
Well, that's the saying. Never heard of it?
I'm totally against suicide, if that's what you're thinking.
It may sound strange, but I think suicide's selfish.
I mean, you've solved your own problems.
But your relatives really suffer.
An old friend killed himself seven years ago and his mom still doesn't speak.
Not a word. She just sits in her yard and stares into space.
She's totally done for.
You think it's selfish.
I beg your pardon, but once you're in that place,
you don't evenexistanymore.
You can't think of others. You can't think at all anymore.
You just want it to stop. - And it does stop.
You've solved your problems.
But you're not only responsible for your own life.
It's a fact: The relatives suffer like hell.
What are you babbling about? You have no idea what you're saying.
You have this attitude that the media spreads...
What? - But you're just talking shit.
Not true at all! I told you that I witnessed it with a friend.
His mother was so sweet, and now she's a wreck.
"So sweet." And your friend, what about him?
But I see the family, too. They're completely ruined.
That's so fucked up!
No wonder you go to hell for suicide in most religions.
Is that so? - As far as I know, yes.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get to you... - Stop it.
I think this was a bad idea.
I'm not really sociable at the moment. I think...
...you should maybe find another ride.
Sorry. - Okay.
'H...
I'll take the next exit.
Her brother!
Fuck! Fuck...
MY Phone. NO! Jule!
Jule!
Listen, I'm taking a pit stop, I gotta take a nap.
You can crash in the bottom bunk if you like. - OK, cool. Great, thanks.
No, everything's fine.
I'm on my way to see you.
Yeah, with the RV.
Aren't you happy?
Alex, I'll call you right back.
Yes?
I'm admiring your RV.
We have an RV, too.
It's practical. Room for the kids. But your ride, it's just...
...fantastic.
A cult model!
Thanks.
I'm Torge.
Hello. Jule.
These are the original furnishings!
Awesome.
And the AC still works?
No, hasn't for a long time.
Do you have a glass of water for me?
Sure, yeah.
I'll go brush my teeth. - Go ahead.
And then in the other direction, right?
You're pretty.
Can you please leave now.
Why? - Because I say so.
You leave now.
No.
Leave or I'll call the police.
You smell so good.
Come here.
Hands off!
Jule, it's Jan. Can you open up? I left my phone with you.
Come in, it's open!
Get out.
Get out! - Thanks for your hospitality.
Piss off.
Piss off! - Have a nice evening.
He has my phone.
Give me the phone. - Piss off!
Stupid asshole, I'll kill you.
Cunt!
Piss off!
Shit, are you OK?
Wait, I'll get water.
Yeah, take off, asshole!
Open up.
Alright?
One more time, here.
Sorry I sprayed you, too. I panicked.
At least you got that guy. - Shit, your eyes are so red.
So are yours.
We look like zombies.
You came out of nowhere.
A truck driver picked me up. I was sleeping in his truck.
No way, what a coincidence. If you hadn't shown up...
Fuck.
Eye drops?
Alright?
You know karate or something?
A bit, yeah.
So there was no need for the pepper spray. - Yes, there was.
Can you do me, too? - Sure.
He was pretty skilled.
I think he knew martial arts. Ex-soldier or something.
Open your eyes.
A frustrated ex-soldier.
Exactly. Thrown out for lack of intelligence.
Couldn't find the trigger anymore.
What an asshole.
Did you see his shoes?
Men in white socks and sandals, let me tell you: They're the worst.
I'll remember that.
So you're on your way to Bilbao to see your father.
Does he work there? Or are your parents divorced?
No, I grew up with my stepfather and...
...the guy in Bilbao is my biological father. I've never met him.
Wow.
And why is that? I mean...
I didn't know that my stepfather wasn't my real father until I was 17.
And last month I asked my mother...
...to put me in touch with my biological father.
Three days ago, he called.
I was just watching a game show on TV. Totally absurd.
Crazy.
And, I mean...
...how did you find out? That your stepfather isn't your father?
Well... - Long story?
Yeah, kinda. - OK. You don't need to...
Sorry I threw you out this afternoon.
It's just that...
...my brother was really 27 when he committed suicide.
So it's a sensitive topic for me.
I figured.
Sorry that I...
Headache?
Wanna smoke some weed? To relax. I brought some.
No, thanks.
But you can if you want! - No need.
Beer's enough.
I guess I'm just really tired.
OK, then...
...thanks for the beer.
I'll let you get some sleep. - Listen...
Would you mind sleeping here tonight?
You know, if this guy turns up again, I'm a bit...
No, sure. I can do that. - Really? Great, that's...
Thanks. - Sure thing.
Jule, sure you don't want the bed? I'm the guest, I should sleep on the floor.
In India, I slept on the floor for six months. Without a mat.
It's good here.
Very comfortable.
It's your back.
Do you have a favorite dream?
What?
A favorite dream.
Yes, flying. I love to dream of flying.
Really? So do I!
What, really? You too fly at night?
Yeah, over the city, with my arms set back. Like Superman.
I feel so super free then. Everything is possible.
And how do you take off?
I usually jump off a table or a wall or something.
And then, shortly before I hit the floor, I do a body twist...
...turn on my stomach and fly away.
With my arms close to the body, like a ski jumper.
Wicked.
Have a nice flight.
You, too.
Hey!
Good morning! - Good morning.
I thought you'd left already.
Oh no, I just didn't wanna wake you up.
I was having breakfast with Manni, my trucker friend.
Oh, okay.
Did you dream of flying?
No, unfortunately not. And you?
Neither. We should have smoked that pot.
Yeah, maybe.
I gotta go. Manni has to reach Paris today. - Right, OK.
Thanks again.
For yesterday. - Sure thing.
Well, take care then. - You too.
Good luck.
Safe trip. - You too.
Bye. - Ciao.
Jan, hang on. Could you come back for a sec?
I could also take you a little further.
Really? - Yeah, sure.
Well, great! I'd love that!
Unless you prefer to ride with Manni.
Manni's music taste...
No.
Great. - I'll grab my stuff.
Cool. See you. - See you.
To the next leg, right'?
Let's see how many miles we last this time.
Do you mind taking country roads?
Not at all, I'm not in a hurry.
Look, there's a stork! It's really pretty.
So where are you heading? You haven't told me yet.
Oh, right. To Portugal.
Portugal? Wow. Pretty far.
Yes.
I'm visiting someone.
Your father too?
No.
My boyfriend.
He's doing his PhD there, in Tamera.
What's it on? - Ecological agriculture.
Permacultures, water retention systems, etc...
Water retention systems?
Not just using water, but keeping it in the cycle.
Want the details? - Some other time.
May I? - Sure.
Absurd, right'? Two tons of steel to move one person?
In 90% of the cars, there's only one person.
True. Like me.
Almost.
And you?
Lone wolf or social animal?
Social animal, definitely! Extremely social!
No, neither one. Some friends, some acquaintances, the usual.
Leaning towards the lone wolf, maybe.
You know how many people in Germany live alone?
No idea. 20%? - 50%.
Crazy. - Yeah, right?
And you know what? I think there's a strategy behind it.
Really?
Economic reasons. - "Economic reasons."
Yes.
Look:
Take four people who live in four apartments.
They need four fridges, four vacuum cleaners, four kettles, four...
Flat screen TVs.
Exactly! If they lived together, they'd only need one of each.
So economically it makes more sense if they live alone, as they consume more.
A friend wrote his thesis on that: "Capitalism's Separation Strategy."
That does sound like a thesis.
But being alone is against human nature, totally!
Humans are social creatures! Within minutes...
...of being alone, we secrete stress hormones!
Cortisol and such. - Wow.
And Cortisol weakens the immune system, so being alone makes you sick.
But that's what they want.
What?
Us to be unhappy, so we consume more.
You keep saying "they," but who are "they" supposed to be?
Executives and politicians who meet in dark rooms and decide...
"Let's isolate them, so they consume more and cease to resist.“
You can't seriously believe that.
Well, I used to. - And now?
Now I think it's inherent to the system. - Inherent to the system?
Yes. Capitalism inevitably leads to isolation - due to its fundamental principles.
"The Fundamental Principles of Capitalism." - Yeah, think about it:
From a young age we're taught to compete with each other.
It starts in school. Who's the best-looking? Who's the smartest? And so on...
Life has become a permanent audition!
1000 people apply to a college, only ten get in.
100 people apply for an apartment, one gets it.
You have to be tougher, quicker and stronger 24/7!
What a stress!
Well, life's no day at the beach.
Not in capitalism that's for sure.
But that's just how it is: Competition is in our blood.
Take two kids running across a field: One will always try to run faster.
How is that related? - It totally is! It starts there, in that field!
We just LOVE competing.
Competition is fun! Even jungle warriors compete.
But it's become so extreme! Nonstop struggle and competition...
The whole world has become a damn Circus Maximus!
You're exaggerating.
What? The top 5% who own the capital benefit from the rest scurrying about.
Everyone else just works their asses off, is unhappy and totally stressed out.
That's not so nice, yeah.
But that's nature's way.
The hard in the garden, the tender in the pond.
The strongest survive, these are the rules of evolution.
Says who?
Says Darwin.
Darwin? - Yes.
Whoa, I don't think you're up to date there.
Oh, fuck... I feel sick.
I'm getting off the road.
Oh shit, are you okay?
Have another sip of water.
Oh, shit.
Are you all right?
I hope it's not a sunstroke. Are you dizzy?
No, it's alright, I guess I just ate something wrong.
Alright.
I hope it's not because of my pro-capitalist arguments.
No, don't worry.
I already feel better. I'll wipe off my vomit.
No, no. Let me do that.
You want to clean off my vomit?
I was a civil servant in oncology, I'll manage.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
All good. Say, can we go for a walk?
Yeah, sure. Look, there's a forest back there, a forest walk?
The strongest survive. It's always been like that. Darwin proved it.
No, Jan.
Darwin said "survival of the fittest", not "survival of the strongest".
Not the strongest survive, but those who adapt best.
It can also be the most bizarre. Take the peacock for example.
The peacock? - Yes. Pavo Cristatus.
Peacock!
If only the strong survive, why is there a bizarre animal like the peacock?
It's neither fast nor strong, can't even run away.
But it can spread it's tail to a wonderful fan.
The ladies love it, so it has more babies.
See? In this case not the strongest survived, but the most bizarre.
There are so many examples.
This "struggle for existence" is total bullshit.
Darwin was abused by the capitalists.
From the beginning.
But then what about gorillas?
Gorillas fight until only one is left:
The alpha male.
Only the alpha male may reproduce. It even kills the other males' babies.
And we're all gorillas, or what?
No, but human society works similarly.
We fight until a pecking order is created. And our economic system accommodates that.
That's why it's the only one that works, and why communism didn't work.
Objection. Firstly, communism was a hierarchical system too.
And why? Because everyone wanted the biggest piece of the cake!
That's why "real socialism" never existed.
Neither in East Germany, nor in Russia, nor in China.
Mao and Stalin forced a system on the people that they didn't want.
Because it doesn't fit human nature.
Oh, please don't start with "communism vs capitalism"...
That's so 90s. Both systems suck.
The question of the basic principle is much more interesting.
What advances mankind more?
Competition or cooperation?
Competition. - Cooperation.
Competition. - Cooperation! Why else did I give you a ride?
And why did you kick me out?
Come on, you know why. I took you 'cos I felt sorry for you.
What?? You felt sorry for me??
Never heard of compassion, empathy, mirror neurons?
You were sad. I saw that, felt what you felt, and got sad, as well.
Empathy! That's why I gave you a ride! And that's the basis of humanity!
It generates cooperation, which isn't just nice, but the secret of our success!
Thanks to cooperation, we descend from Cro-Magnons, not Neanderthals.
Wanna hear more? - No.
Sure you do. - No!
Stop it, I'm a gorilla!
They lived at the end of the last Ice Age, around 25,000 years ago.
In southern France alongside the Neanderthals.
The Cro-Magnons survived, while the Neanderthals went extinct.
Know why?
They killed the Neanderthals? - No.
Because of battue.
It was like this: Neanderthals were lone wolves who lived in groups of eight to ten.
They fought each other, and were massive, brawny beings.
Like me. - More or less.
They needed around 5,000 calories per day, a lot of meat.
Like me.
Yeah, maybe, anyway...
At the end of the Ice Age, food became scarce and they started eating each other.
They were cannibals? - In the end. Then they starved and went extinct.
Now the Cro-Magnons:
They lived in groups of up to 400.
Together, they drove animals towards cliffs...
...who panicked and fell off them. Et voila:
They had loads of meat. Real barbecue parties. - Cool.
Having so much food gave them time to paint caves.
Their tongues developed, they started talking.
As the first homo sapiens.
And from the Cro-Magnons we descend. They're our ancestors.
Really? - Yes.
They survived because they cooperated...
...while Neanderthals went extinct. Battue, that was the success factor!
So the social element was the decisive factor in enabling humanity!
And now the capitalists want to turn us back into Neanderthals, get it?
That's a bit one-sided, Jule. - No, it isn't.
Capitalism is an inhuman, misanthropic system.
It benefits the 1% at the top, while the rest of humanity feels miserable.
Sorry, but that's total bullshit.
You act like humans are peace-loving hippies...
...who give out hugs all day, but they're not.
Know what they found on Ötzi, that iceman from 5,000 years ago? An ax.
Not a peace pipe, an ax. - Maybe he was felling trees.
It was a battle ax, for killing.
He had war injuries and an arrow tip in his shoulder.
That tip severed an artery and he bled to death.
He was murdered from behind with a bow and arrow. Bang!
That's what I see when I look at 5,000 years of human history:
Murder and destruction. People slitting throats.
Tribal genocide, nations attacking each other, hate, the Holocaust...
...oppression. The history of mankind is one big bloodbath!
Every 3 seconds there's a murder in the world. Every 3 seconds!
Right now, a man stabs his wife because she wants to leave him.
We're not just good, Jule.
We're evil, too. - Evil.
What about the guy who almost raped you. Did he want to cooperate?
What? You don't have to get polemical!
What's that got to do with anything? That was a troubled, stupid asshole.
Of course there are people like that. What fucking argument is that anyway?
We're talking about basic human traits.
Those that promote us as humanity.
Okay. And what about envy and greed? Aren't these also basic human traits?
If I eat potatoes every day, but my neighbour has grilled chicken...
...isn't it the rule rather than the exception that I want chicken, too?
Or if someone walks to work for ten kilometers, while his neighbour...
...goes by bike, isn't it normal and humane that he also wants a bike?
Yes, but this has nothing to do with envy. It's just unfair.
They should both have a bike.
No, we're going around in circles here.
He should save until he can afford a bicycle...
...for that he'll work harder and produce better products or...
...tomatoes or whatever he produces.
"My bike","your bike"... it all started much earlier.
With the invention of property.
If I don't own anything, you can't envy me, can you?
Look, nomads, they shared. They shared everything.
We love to share. Our body releases tons of happiness hormones when we share.
We love it.
Then why don't we do it?
I'm really hungry. Shall we cook something?
Yes. - Yes?
Definitely. Chicken, perhaps?
For you, only potatoes.
No, I need meat. Meeeeeat!
Then go hunt a deer.
I need you for that. For the battue. - Forget it. Take a spade.
It's great to add two or three sprigs of rosemary.
How's it going there?
Thanks, I'm gettin into it.
Still some dirt here.
And there's also pretty much here.
Get away!
Next stop: Dortmund.
All crazy Jans please disembark.
Driving, driving, driving down the Autobahn!
Look, the Cologne Cathedral!
Cologne! - Carnival!
Just drop me off at the corner, I'll walk to the station from there.
And then you'll take the bus?
Just as I was getting used to you.
Plus, I still have to convince you that humans aren't as bad as you think.
Well, that's true of course.
Another 300 miles?
Uhm, yeah!
Sure, I'd love that.
But only if it's not out of pity.
No, don't worry. Deal?
Deal.
Hey, look.
Hello, Belgium!
Bye, Germany!
Wanna pick something from the camping guide?
"RV Camping Guide."
This looks good:
"The camping site Champe le Monde lies in the midst of the hilly Ardennes."
They're open. - They are?
From happy lambs? - Yes, very happy.
Meat!
Shouldn't we grill it first? - No!
You OK or you need help?
I'll manage.
And?
Looking good!
Want some wine, too?
Uhm, no.
You don't drink?
Not right now, no.
Hunger, for example.
There's so much wheat that we could feed the world's population twice.
It's just not being distributed properly. Or...
Wait, I wanna show you something.
That red spot... This area would be sufficient...
...to supply the whole earth with solar energy.
The sun is that strong.
Instead, we burn oil and heat up our planet.
Are you sure? - Yes, it's all been calculated.
And the map is always with you?
It reminds me of what we could do, if we'd just organize ourselves. Cooperate.
Which we don't. - Not yet.
Are you nervous about meeting your father?
No, not at all.
I'm looking forward to it.
Want to hear the rest of the story?
How I found out?
Yes, I'd love to.
Well, my father... He...
...never really knew what to do with me.
He never even hid his dislike. I always asked myself why...
...why he didn't like me, but... Well...
Then one summer day, we had this family celebration at my grandmother's.
I was 17.
Everyone was there: my older brother with his two kids...
I have an older brother.
His wife...
Grandparents, uncles and aunties...
The whole shebang.
So I'm sitting there...
...looking around. Everyone's enjoying themselves, having fun.
Suddenly I realize something's missing. Something's wrong.
Like a part of me's missing, something in me is empty, you know?
Inside of me it was getting darker and darker.
So I'm looking at my father's relatives...
And suddenly...
All of a sudden, it clicks.
I realize what my problem is, I get up, approach my mother and say:
"He's not my father, right?"
In front of everyone?
In front of everyone.
And your mother? How did she react?
She said nothing at all. Which was the answer, of course.
Thus it was clear why he had treated me like shit for 17 years.
Is it my fault that my mother had good taste for once in her life...
by falling for a Spanish boatbuilder.
A Spanish boatbuilder?
1993, on vacation. A one-night stand.
My stepfather wanted her to abort, but she refused.
And so one fine day I saw the light of the world.
No? - No, one more time.
Yes, okay...
Get back, it should be fine now.
Really? - Yes.
Got it?
Wow. Alright?
Really cool.
Jan?
Are you still awake?
Yes.
I'm really happy you're with me.
I'd have gone crazy on my own.
And gotten the flu.
The flu?
Yeah, being alone, cortisol and all:
Doesn't that weaken the immune system?
That's true.
One gentle touch kills thousands of stress hormones, by the way.
Really?
I have to remember that. - Do that.
Good night.
Look, we're almost in France!
Bye bye, Belgium!
Hello, France!
Looks different right away, right?
Yeah, and much less traffic, right?
Alex?
Hi, yes, it's me.
I have to tell you something.
I did want to tell you face to face, but I couldn't stand it any longer, sorry.
I have to go now.
I'll call back, OK? Bye.
Are you OK?
So-so.
Can I help you?
No, not really.
I just need a minute, OK? - Sure.
Then we'll move on.
I'll be right back.
You know what always helps against grief?
No.
I love those!
So? ls It helping?
Yeah, much better already.
My grandma always made these.
What was that?
A gentle touch. Kills stress hormones.
Yeah, right.
Thank you.
Shall we?
So, do you have a girlfriend? - No, not right now.
My last relationship ended three months ago.
How did it end?
Well, we'd "grown apart."
How long were you together?
Six months.
Then you "grew apart" rather quickly...
It was the problem I always have. I loved her more than she loved me.
Actually, I think she didn't love me at all.
From the beginning?
I think so.
Then why were you with her?
I don't really know myself. It happens to me again and again.
I fall for women who don't fall for me.
I feel at home in rejection, as I wasn't loved enough as a child.
You don't sound convinced.
Ahh, I don't know.
I mean yeah, my stepdad treated me like shit, but that's way too simple.
<<You have to love yourself to be able to love others.>>
<<Loving is easy, being loved is difficult>>
Just because it's simple, it doesn't have to be less true.
I think there's something to it.
Oh come on, I'll buy you a <>, it's all in there, too. - So what?
What, so what? Who on earth loves himself? Only idiots love themselves.
What?
Do you know someone who loves himself? I don't.
At least nobody with more than five brain cells.
Or do you love yourself?
I wasn't just at the bakery, by the way. - Champagne?
Now that we're in the Champagne...
After this bottle, I'll love myself. And all the women who love me.
One can't discuss with you today.
Sorry, difficult subject for me.
Know what my real problem is?
That I can't choose who I fall in love with.
Oh, right. - Yeah.
I keep falling in love with women who aren't right for me.
You know whose fault that is?
The MHC sector of my DNA.
MHC is the part that codes the immune system.
Correct.
It's your field, but I did extensive research.
The MHC sees to it that you like the smell of people...
...who have an immune system differing strongly from your own.
Women can smell a difference of a single gene!
What?
Take two men.
One man's immune system differs from yours by one gene more than the other's.
You'll find his smell better.
You can't help it, it happens subconsciously.
The biological reason is...
...if you have children with someone whose immune system is complementary...
...the kids will be twice as resistant to viruses, bacteria, etc.
Evolutionary genius.
That was hugely advantageous in the past when people died like flies from infections.
In the past, yes.
But we no longer run around the forest in loincloths, looking for the best-smelling DNA.
Well, I do sometimes...
And in terms of choosing our partners, we're still cavemen.
You know what pheromones are? - Yes, scentless transmitting agents.
Right. And most of them are located here in the little groove above the upper lip.
That's why we kiss before we mate.
And tilt our heads sideways.
To smell the pheromones. - How romantic!
Kissing is a gene check. Nothing else.
Thanks, now I'll always think of "gene check" when I kiss, great.
With the first kiss, you already know if the sex will be good or not.
True.
And the craziest thing is: When two people have sex who like each other's smell...
...the chance that the woman gets pregnant is three times as high.
They found that out with that T-shirt smell test. Ever heard of it?
No.
Ten women and ten men wore a T-shirt for a week...
...then had to select the best-smelling one.
With those who found each other's smell appealing...
...the woman was three times more likely to get pregnant.
Eww, how did they test that?
I have no clue.
But it doesn't work if the woman takes the pill.
Because then she prefers men with a similar immune system.
As a result, A: she won't get pregnant as quickly...
...and B: the kids will be at the doctor all the time.
So: Get off the pill six months before marriage or your offspring is screwed.
Sure thing.
It actually happened to me.
I dated a girl who stopped taking the pill six months into our affair.
Suddenly, we couldn't stop fighting!
Because of the pill, so many couples come together who don't match at all!
Hey, we're close to Verdun. Let's have an ice cream there.
Good idea. I want one too.
Jan, about what you said earlier. The pheromones and all.
When someone blames his relationship problems on biology,
it triggers my internal alarm, because...
Because it's the truth?
No, kidding aside. What you're referring to is merely sexual attraction.
When two people sniff each other, get horny and fuck, is that love?
We're not animals.
Sure, mammals.
Nonsense! OK, I need to find a man hot before starting a relationship with him.
But that's just the first stage. It's a great stage, yes.
It's exciting, your knees go weak, you get goosebumps and have physical reactions.
But the truth is... It's also the least interesting stage.
I don't find it so uninteresting. - But it's just unconscious, primal instincts!
I mean, I've heard all those theories...
...how women look for macho, testosterone-laden men while ovulating...
Like me? - Exactly.
The rest of the time, they prefer caring types who look like their relatives.
Hang on: So statistically speaking, the caring type has an advantage?
Well, now everything's clear, Jule. - Jan, stop it!
It's funny and I know those theories, but they have no significance for your life.
Why not?
Because no woman let's her ovaries choose the man.
That's crystal clear. - Is it?
Yes. Maybe for one night, but not for my whole life!
What am I gonna do with a hunk who's good in bed...
...but we have nothing to say to each other?
That's ridiculous.
OK, for you guys it's different... - What do you mean?
Penis brain? Blood down there, nothing up here? - Oh god, here we go.
Let's stick to the topic of love.
After I've found someone who's sexually attractive...
...that's when it gets interesting, doesn't it?
That's when the word love becomes really relevant:
When you start to tune in.
I mean, we don't fall in love down here.
But here. And here.
So yes, maybe I can't decide who I find hot...
...but I can decide who I fall in love with.
And that's your problem.
Or the solution to your problem. You have to take it step by step.
Step by step?
Step one: find a woman you find hot. Step two:
Find out if you're on the same wavelength. If not, go back to step one.
Not so difficult.
There's also a step three, but we'll discuss that in the advanced course.
Let's take our time. - Yeah, you're still a beginner.
But I'm looking forward to it.
I can't believe how many guys never reach step two.
Oh, Jule, I'm not so sure...
We're discussing men-women relationships, right?
And sex is an essential part of that.
Originally, the man-woman thing was about having kids.
OK, true.
And now to my theory.
I'm listening.
Sex / needs / contrast.
Contrast?
Man/woman, plus/minus, hard/soft.
Oh, Jan, please... - What? Let me finish.
Friction creates heat. Sex.
This thing about the differing immune systems is applicable on a higher level.
The hot-blooded Italian likes the blonde Swede.
Exotic is sexy, because it expands the gene pool.
Difference and disharmony is what creates passion.
After a fight you have the best sex!
Passion needs contrast.
OK, it can help. - Fine.
But now to my actual point.
Long-term relationships and partnerships, however...
I agree with you there, they need harmony.
Your partner should be a real partner.
If one loves meat and the other is vegetarian, there'll be trouble...
Or one is orderly and the other chaotic. - Exactly.
That ends with "We're not right for each other."
Break-up reason number one. - Exactly.
So my question is:
Why do so many people get together who aren't right for each other?
For different reasons... - Because they have great sex!
And there you go, the reason for all relationship misery on this planet.
There's a fundamental contradiction between...
...sexual attraction and successful partnership.
Men and woman are simply incompatible in the long term.
Sure, long-term relationships are culturally...
...desirable because they bring social stability.
But from a biological standpoint, they're impossible.
Monogamy is culturally programmed unhappiness.
Quod erat demonstrandum.
How long was your longest relationship again? - Nine months.
Seriously? You're kidding, right?
Shall we drive on? I need to move a bit after this.
Sure. I'm...
...ready.
Nine months!
Let me get this.
Alex?
What's up?
What? What's with your tone?
Of course I'm asking...
Calm down, will you?
Calm down.
What? It's my problem? So for you, it's a "problem?"
All done? - Yeah, I think so.
I'll go in and pay.
Ready for departure?
Yes... Almost.
Just your type, right?
What?
The bimbo over there.
No way!
Then why are you staring at her?
Well, she's sexually quite attractive.
Then go check if you're soul mates: step two.
Ask her if she'll drive you. She might want your genes.
I would never get into a car like that.
I prefer taking the bus.
Good.
Can I go or do you want more?
Just a sec...
Look, the Loire!
Shall we have a picnic?
Now the Captain's on board, too.
Right on, little mermaid.
What did you say, Captain Bluebeard?
Look, land in sight!
Captain, land in sight!
After months of traveling...
We hang in the ropes for a bit. - Exactly.
"Like God in France."
Contrast in relationships may create friction...
...and thus passion and possibly great sex.
But is that love? What's that got to do with love?
A lot.
The problem with many people is that they confuse passion for love.
They think that if they suffer a lot, they must be deeply in love.
That's a huge problem, because...
This 'amour fou' constant fighting...
It works in movies, because it's entertaining when the sparks fly. But in reality...
...it just causes aggravation, misery...
...and pain, and lasts for two years max.
Or nine months.
But...
...nine very steamy months. The partnership's a bit bumpy, yes.
But the sex: great.
But good sex is also possible between people who get along well.
Having sex with someone you really love is...
It takes you to another dimension!
Haven't you ever had that? - Sure I have.
See?
There might be another reason why you fall for...
...women who are so different. Outside of biology.
They don't understand you because they're so different.
And thus can't see inside of you. - What?
Well...
Maybe you don't want anyone to get really close to you.
That's why you choose these bunnies who... - Sorry, but that's bullshit.
Why would I not want that? It makes no sense.
Well...
Maybe you don't want people to see who you really are.
Because you're unhappy with that. - What?
It's possible!
Stop it, Jule.
That's just total bullshit. I don't even wanna get further into this crap.
It was just an idea. - A shitty idea, yeah.
Let's clear this up.
Why would I have a problem with myself? Why? I don't get it.
Please. I'm listening.
Your stepfather.
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
It's a sore point.
You sank my battleship.
I think I have the same thing.
That problem with closeness.
I just show it differently.
I'm more of a person who... throws smoke bombs.
Our "me“ is in a protective capsule...
...and letting someone into it...
...calls for a lot of trust.
Because“.
...if the other person leaves, then...
...he takes a piece of you with him.
And you die.
At least a bit.
Dangerous thing.
Extremely dangerous, yes.
But so beautiful, too.
When you're merging with each other.
Not alone anymore.
I mean, we're born alone...
...we die alone, but then...
...there's this moment with your partner...
Do you know that feeling...
...when you're with her.
And it feels as if the universe is revolving around you?
And you don't want to be anywhere else.
You feel like you're in exactly the right place.
That feeling of being at home.
Of having arrived.
That's when I know I'm in love.
Really in love.
Have you ever had that?
Once.
How did it end?
Not very well.
And now you won't dare anymore?
Cheers to the protective capsule!
Jule! Come in!
- Isn't it much too cold?
Come on!
No way!
And we want to go... here.
What's that? Looks cool.
A monastery, I think.
Look: "Abbaye de Noirlac." Shall we take a look?
Was this the dining hall? - Yes, the "refectory."
Surely bigger than our cafeteria.
And the food was probably better. - Probably, yeah.
Look, I'm enlightened.
I see.
A friend of mine recently stood in front of the altar.
Her in a huge wedding dress, him in a suit.
They marched into the church with organ music, and then... "l do.“
Her dad was crying his eyes out.
To get married, people still go to church.
Because it's so terribly romantic. - It is!
I don't know...
Come on, better in a magical church than a stuffy city hall.
Yeah, but paying church taxes your whole life just for one day?
I don't know...
And 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway. Then they kick you out of church.
Not anymore.
No'? - I don't think so.
Know what the most common reason for divorce is?
No. - Sexual frustration and infidelity.
Which is no wonder.
After ten years max, desire is gone.
And in a marriage, you're chained to each other for life.
Know what Jeanne Moreau said about that?
"Sex in longer relationships is the art of making repeats seem like premieres."
Yeah, with dildo techniques and bondage you can make it another three years.
But you get tired of that, too.
Jan, shall we discuss this elsewhere?
In the confessional, perhaps?
Idiot.
Yes...
Fidelity in marriage was actually invented by the Catholic church.
In earlier cultures, it didn't exist at all.
Wedded couples only sleeping with each other, and no one else.
Neither the Babylonians, nor the Greeks, nor the Romans had that.
OK, but why did the Christians invent it? There must've been some reason.
Because of overpopulation in Palestine. - What?
Well, most rules in religious texts have a practical reason.
The Galileans, for example, didn't have rubbers or abortions.
So they invented nuptial faithfulness and prohibited divorce.
People had less sex, fewer children were conceived...
...and as it worked so well, they wrote it into the New Testament.
You think? - Yeah.
It's totally bizarre. Half of humanity is sexually frustrated...
...because they had no condoms in Palestine 2000 years ago.
Terrible, right?
But what about trust?
What's more beautiful than two people giving each other everything...
...who are always there for each other, no matter what? - It can still be like that.
You can jump in the sack with someone else and still be there for each other.
What's the problem?
Sure, but...
I don't know. It hurts when my boyfriend fucks around.
It just hurts.
Have you ever asked yourself why? Why it hurts?
They're feelings, you can't control them.
But have you asked yourself where these feelings stem from?
No idea, I...
I wonder why he does it, why he needs it.
If he still finds me attractive, still desires and loves me...
So it's about your ego.
So? Don't you have an ego?
You don't care if your girlfriend sleeps with another guy?
No. Not if I know beforehand.
The lie and deceit is what hurts, not the sex itself.
That hurts too, yeah.
You see?
I know this older couple, they do it like this:
They have a wooden bowl in their wardrobe.
Whenever one of them goes on a "trip"...
...they put their wedding ring in it and the other knows...
They've been super happy for decades.
I don't know. I couldn't do that.
Sex isn't shaking hands.
This intimacy, this holy feeling...
I mean, you're creating a child. That's a magical moment. Making love...
It's the core of a partnership. It gets lost if both fuck around. Don't you think?
No...
And 80% of people fuck around anyway.
Isn't it better to be at least honest about it? Saves you all the drama, too.
I do think it's good to stay together for life and all. Certainly for the kids.
But...
The old Romans, they had a great system.
They had stable families and great sex.
Because they had lovers.
Both men and women. - Really?
Yeah, they thought, "We'll give our children a stable home...
...but we won't allow that to sexually frustrate us."
So they had sex whenever and with whomever they wanted.
I think that's a pretty honest arrangement.
But what if the woman fell in love with her affair?
That was a no-go. Divorce was forbidden.
And you can control that.
You said it yourself: we can decide who we fall in love with.
True.
That tastes so divine...
I'm about to have an orgasm. This is better than sex.
Another trick to keep a marriage alive: food instead of sex.
Correct.
Apropos, how's that handled in Alex's commune?
Different, I hope.
Well, to be honest, they actually do have a concept of free love there.
And how did you feel about that? You were there, right'?
Yes.
I don't know, I was only visiting.
I think it needs time.
But your boyfriend was totally into it?
Yeah. He was quite enthusiastic.
They had pretty girls there, after all.
What? - Nothing.
I won't say anything.
Join in! They're always looking for young people.
No, I don't think I'm ready to dissolve the barriers of my ego.
That I believe.
And "free love" makes me think of swinger clubs.
You're a walking contradiction. - Not at all.
No. I'm not saying everybody should bang everybody.
I just say we shouldn't hold onto monogamy...
...only because state and church propagate nuclear families.
The time is ripe for new relationship models.
Yes...
Maybe you're right.
Morning!
All good? I'm gonna take a shower. - Okay.
Wanna snitch some corn?
Carla and Nicolas? - Yes, Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy.
And who is who? Is this Carla or Nicolas?
The smaller one is Nicolas. - Of course!
Smile!
I feel cool, and you?
You're sweating, right?
Sea, we're coming!
Go!
Wow.
Come on! Into the sea!
So nice.
Come on!
Come in, it's lovely!
Whoa, so nice. - Yeah.
Around the University of Barcelona so much cocaine was measured...
...in the air, you would get high just by walking around there.
And those are just the Spaniards. The Germans...
...drink 500 bottles of beer a year. Per head.
500 bottles?
What?
And seven liters of booze. On average, the German...
...drinks twice as much as the rest of humanity.
We're a nation of full blown alcoholics.
Absolutely. I mean, in fact we're all permanently on.
But why? Why do we take so many drugs? Have you ever asked yourself that?
No idea, there are a million reasons.
Well... Look, in the 1950s, there was this booze ad.
Super minimalistic, only a bottle of schnapps against a white background.
And you know what was written underneath it in capital letters?
"A vacation from yourself“.
<>. Cool.
That's what this is all about! Humans are the only living beings...
...on this planet who can constantly worry about themselves.
About their fears, needs, deficits. We think about the future...
...about the past, what we did right, what we did wrong.
We think, think, think. The thoughts up there...
...they permanently comment and evaluate everything you do.
16 hours a day, seven days a week... You just can't take that forever!
And that is why, I say, man has a natural need to take drugs.
At least every two weeks.
You, maybe...
Come on, even the natives in the jungle take drugs.
Mushrooms, cacti, ayahuasca, that sort of thing.
All the peoples in the history of mankind have taken drugs:
Indians, Mayans, Incas, Romans, Greeks, all of them!
We need to get away from ourselves every now and then. Otherwise we go crazy.
Yes, but there are other ways to take a vacation from yourself.
Meditation for example, dancing, yoga!
Sports, sex, anything...
Yes, all right. But drugs are easier. Open the bottle, drink, done.
And human beings are lazy by nature, that's the second principle of thermodynamics.
Yes, I'm afraid so.
But Jan, what if what you call your self isn't your self?
Yes?
This voice in your head, constantly commenting on what you do.
I don't think that's you at all.
I think that's more like your inner commentator.
What?
Your inner commentator. Like Grandpa at the Muppet Show...
...who's always putting in his 2 cents?
That old man with the giant nose: Hehehehehe...
Yes, that's the one. Anyway, I think your real self is nonverbal.
And it makes all the decisions.
The commentator can rationalize these decisions afterwards...
...but in reality he has nothing to say, you know?
Like the commentator in a soccer game who doesn't even play.
That voice in your head, that's not you.
Okay...
Maybe. But who am I, then? Where is my true self located?
Well, somewhere deep down, where you can't get with language.
At the core of your being, only to be seen in dreams. I don't know...
Or in psychoanalysis.
Yes, maybe.
Anyway, with drugs you can turn off the commentator. But not the real you.
Know what I mean?
But that's awesome.
What?
If I can turn off the commentator. I'll have a few hours' silence.
Maybe. But with drugs you not only turn off the...
...commentator, you also harm your true self.
Look at the people who take drugs for years.
They're all totally empty at some point, not even there any more.
I mean, you know people like that, right? - Yes, that's true.
I think it's much better to harmonize your commentator...
...and your self, so that they work as a team.
Okay. And how can I do that?
I don't know. Certainly not with drugs.
How then?
For example, by running full speed to the sea...
...and jumping into the water fully dressed?
Go!
Sure you don't want help? - No, it's fine.
OK, then I'll take a swim. - Have fun. See you later.
Jule?
Hey...
Morning.
This is so cool.
Who gave you the wetsuit?
I borrowed it from our neighbor and thought I'd give it a try.
Just round the ankle?
Just round the ankle. Okay, and now we'll paddle first.
Hold the board like this.
Right over there...
Very good!
You're doing great! Use all of your arms strength.
Back there is a nice one!
Wow, super, great!
Try that one.
You're doing great!
Yes!
Gosh, that was really great!
Another good one!
Rad!
You're really good for a beginner.
You know how to surf, You fooled me, man!
Down the coast to Hossegor, Capbreton...
Anglet, Biarritz, Saint Jean de Luz and then San Sebastian.
Look! Spain!
Where does your father live? Where should I drop you off?
In Zumaia, a coastal town in the Basque Country.
This is the marina.
I'll check if I see him. - Okay.
And?
No, he's not here.
You can drive on.
Sure?
Is that him?
Yes, that's him.
Want to go over?
No.
Should I leave, you want to be alone?
No, no.
Which of them is it?
The one on the left.
He looks happy, right?
Definitely, yes.
I don't know how to describe it. It was...
It was strange.
I couldn't go over to him.
I just couldn't.
I didn't think it'd be such a big deal. I thought I'd come here, see him...
...we'd talk a bit.
And it'd all be good, but...
While standing there...
I saw a stranger, not my father.
And I realized...
I'll never have a father.
But not only a dream fell apart...
I also understood something.
That I have to stop looking outside of myself, and start looking inside.
Good, that's good.
Beautiful, right? - Yes.
When Picasso saw this, he said we haven't learned anything new in painting.
In 25,000 years.
Know why they painted mostly animals?
It's assumed they worshiped some animals like gods.
They seemed so strong to them. Elegant, superior to humans...
They could only hunt them by forming groups.
Battue.
Look, it's depicted there.
Battue?
The Cro-Magnons.
That's why you brought me here.
The Cro-Magnons painted these! - Exactly.
The first human who had time to do art.
There they are: the Picos de Europa.
Shit! - Are you OK?
And now? We run? - Run.
Run!
Shit, it's so cold!
Come on, get in.
Everything's wet.
Need a towel? - Yes, please.
Can you warm me up a bit? - Sure. Come here.
Should we really do this?
Maybe we shouldn't.
Damn, Jan, I...
I think I...
I think I'm falling in love with you.
So am I. In you.
Totally.
So what do we do now?
Stay strong?
Yeah, right'?
We talked about it.
Says the polygamist.
Polygamist, yes, but...
I like it.
So do I.
But it's damn hard.
Oh, yeah.
But sniffing is OK, right?
You smell incredibly good.
So do you.
Genetically compatible.
Totally.
Know what's almost better than the kiss itself?
The three seconds beforehand.
The feeling when you know it's about to happen.
But we'll stay strong, right?
Is everything OK?
Jan, I'm pregnant.
My mother wants me to get an abortion.
I don't know what I want.
I don't know anything anymore.
Want some tea?
Coming.
And Alex?
Does he want the child?
No.
"Bad timing, Jule."
I can abort it with this.
With pills?
That works?
Up until the eighth week.
And what week are you in?
The sixth.
Not much time left.
What are you making?
Paella.
Jan, I've made up my mind.
I'm going to have the child.
You think so?
Of course. You'll be a mom. That's great.
I'm hungry-
My child needs food. - You can help me.
Slicing onions.
Good.
I'm not pregnant.
What?
Yes...
He said something like <>
I didn't fully understand him, his English was not so good.
I was pregnant, but...
It seems to happen a lot.
On, boy.
I wanna go.
Sure.
You know, the thought that everything is transient is not only sad.
It's also comforting.
I think that's the most important thing you have to understand in a relationship.
You're with me, but you're not mine. Nobody owns nobody.
And only if I accept that it can all be over tomorrow, I can be happy.
In that moment. With the other one.
It's back on.
Great.
Then good luck with...
Thanks.
No, don't...
Sorry, I...
It all went so fast...
So much happened.
I need time to think. I need to go to Alex. I need to talk to him.
I might not come back.
Jan!
L.-
I have to go or I'll lose my mind.
I'd like to close now.
I'm closing. - Alright.
How much is it? - Eight euros.
Keep the change.
Do you need a room for the night?
No, thanks.
I'm waiting for a woman.
A woman...
Women are our destiny. Our destiny... - That's true.
Good night. - Good night. Thanks.