I've brought Grégoire and Sarah's stuff.
lhave to dash to Brussels for a eurozone summit.
Can you take the kids?
That's not the point. You only had them two days.
Don't blame me. Can you come down?
There!
That's the lot.
This bag is laundry I didn't have time to wash.
Don't give me that look.
- What look? Judging me.
- I said nothing. -That's Worse.
I wish vve'd stick to our agreement.
For the childrerfs sake.
They need routine. This is a mess.
They're not babies. They know the hazards of my job.
Sorry, got to run.
- Till When? -I dorft know.
Things are really serious, you know?
Dorft you follow the news? What Merkel said?
Watch the news, you'll see. it's a shitstorm.
Make sure Grégoire studies his history.
He asked me if Egypt came before the Renaissance.
Ifs that bad!
Bye, then.
-Isn't it your birthday? -Yes.
Happy birthday!
Thanks a lot.
Excuse me!
You carft leave that there.
Get off my back.
Children Walk here every day. Carft you scoop it up?
You know What?
Go fuck your Wife.
I carft. I'm divorced.
Jerk off, then.
Honestly! What's the use of being rude?
Is that all you do? Whine about dog shit?
Fuck off. I have enough trouble.
Precisely. if everyone tried to make less trouble, vve'd all live better.
Including you.
You really believe that?
Yes.
Come on.
NEWS FROM PLANET MARS
Smurf?
Thanks.
Everything going okay?
It's a rush, but ifs okay.
Rushings good. Keeps you fit.
We've hit a wall on Antigone. Can you lend a hand?
Antigone?
You know Jéréme?
Not really.
I want you to check his work.
I'm afraid he's gone offtrack.
That's a big request. I'd lose time on Eurydice.
You can manage both.
Both together? I doubt it.
-Is there nobody else? -Yes, but I Want you.
Jérémeé a genius. I love him, but... he's an algorithm nerd.
You're tactful. You can handle him.
By the way, isn't it your birthday?
Yes.
Hovv old are you?
Forty-nine.
ANTIGONE ROOM
Hi, I'm Philippe Mars.
Did Gordon tell you?
I'm warning you, I dorft like talking. Leave me alone.
- Mind if I start on the RTBs? -Whatever.
Evening, Mr. Mars.
I pressed the button.
They're canceling my license. Bad eyesight, they say.
But I'm a good driver, and my OX is in mint condition.
It belonged to President Giscard.
You told me.
I bought it from him just before the '78 election.
I was his driver for six months.
Dad?
You know we're at your place?
Mom told me. I'm coming home with food.
New they want my “sense. -l can't hear you.
I'm on my way UP-
Good night, Mr. Mars.
You're home?
Hi, Grégoire.
You need a new phone. I couldrft hear you.
Is your sister home?
In her room.
Help me put the food away.
Just a sec. Mom's on soon.
Got no homework?
I dared her.
Who?
Mom.
I dared her to say “cucumber” on air.
- What? -“Cucur'nber.”
Dorft you have any tests?
Any subjects to review?
No.
I have to give a presentation, but only next week.
What about?
Carft remember. “Progress,” I think.
Interesting.
You okay, Sarah?
Sarah!
You okay?
Studying? -For a mock exam with Clément.
Monk on!
...Emergency meeting in Brussels.
Myriam, you're on the scene. What's the latest?
The drop in the euro has spread panic here in Brussels.
Since yesterday evening, the eurozone leaders
have been closed up in the commission building.
What are they saying? How much leeway do they have?
Not a word has leaked out. The building is like Fort Knox.
Thanks, Myriam. We'll be back.
l-low can she say “cucumber”?
Our next guest is the author of “European Twilight."
Is this the twilight of Europe?
- Not too much chicken. -Come on.
- Can I eat in my room? -Why?
- To stay focused, not waste time. Eating with us is a waste of time?
It's my birthday. I bought a chocolate cake.
-L-low olcl are you'? -Forty-nine.
From Tholoniafs? The fudge cake?
We can watch a movie with it.
Dorft bully us, Dad.
Relax. You always get top marks, and ifs my birthday.
Something Wrong with the chicken?
I'm not very hungry.
Didrft Mom tell you?
He's gone vegetarian.
He says meat makes him sick.
Really?
A TV program on Iraq turned him off meat for life.
Explain the connection between Iraq and my chicken.
As long as we eat animals, there'll be wars.
I dorft follow you.
It's pointless violence.
Gandhi was a vegetarian.
With all due respect to Gandhi, I'm hot sure he was healthy.
True, he was thin.
We need to eat meat, especially when we're growing.
We dorft.
It's a myth.
We need to eat protein, not animals.
Bill Clintorfs a vegetarian.
Man is omnivorous. He's always eaten meat.
You know What omnivorous means?
Einstein was too.
- Steve Jobs, Mike Tyson... -Please.
I'm talking to your brother.
I vvorft eat corpses.
It's not a corpse! it's chicken.
A chicken corpse.
Like eating human flesh.
Come off it. That's nonsense.
Hitler was too.
A vegetarian.
Nice role model.
I need to vvork. Can I go?
Go on, then.
Can I go too?
- You let Sarah. -Watch the film.
Go on, then.
Do you mind my shoes?
I hate having my feet enclosed.
It cramps my chest.
I suffocate.
Wererft you working on Eurydice?
Yes.
Gordon sent you to keep tabs on me.
I dorft know.
He did.
The prick!
He thinks he's an IT whiz, but he's crap! Crap!
Isn't he a prick'?
I'm not one to judge.
I'm telling you he's a prick!
Can he apply Lame's theorem'? No!
Has he ever heard of Bezoufs factors?
What are you doing?
Calming clown.
When I'm upset, it helps me relax.
Is it legal to carry it?
It's a weapon.
I keep it in a little plastic bag, as if I just bought it.
Got any kids?
- Yes. -l-low many'?
- Two. -Fantastic!
That's my dream.
Not easy to achieve, but...
- You know Carole Gaessler? -Who?
Carole Gaessler. The news anchor with the ice-blue eyes.
See? I'd like to give her children.
She's my Wallpaper.
Hovv do you like her?
Rather pretty.
More than that.
I think.
Very pretty.
If she was my childrerfs mother...
I'd say to her, “Carole...
you are... divine.”
“You are divine.”
Yes, Fabienne?
Xanaé.
Sorry, I keep forgetting. What's up, Xanaé?
You got the invite for tonight?
Sorry, I carft come. I've got the kids.
Myriam had to dash to Brussels.
Don't give me that. I was deeply inspired by Dad and Morn.
You have to come.
Twenty minutes. Keep an eye on it.
There's salad in the fridge.
Wherfs your history test?
Tuesday.
This contains bacon. it's not vegetarian.
It's only bacon. Make an effort.
I carft cater to everybodyé foibles.
It isn't a foible.
A fevv bacon bits vvorft kill you.
Grégoire! You missed the toilet again!
Wasrft me.
Your sister pees sitting dovvn and my aim is perfect.
I never said it was you.
- Who was it? The cat? -I dunno.
You Want a DNA test to prove it?
Maybe his cock is deformed.
Sarah! Leave it.
Why the sigh?
I'm sick of this castrating society.
Asking you to pee straight is castrating?
I dunno. it's hard for me.
I feel like a misfit.
Go and clean the toilet.
Then Wash your hands.
Dorft stay up too late.
SELF-PORTRAIT WITH BILL AND JOHN
Well?
They're good, but Mom and Dad there...
What?
Was it really necessary to show them like that?
Necessary?
What's necessary, apart from food and drink?
Sleep, maybe?
Is it their genitals?
Dad and Mom had a cock and a cunt, you know.
I knovv, but having my nose rubbed in it...
You're such a stick-in-the-mud!
That your dog?
He's ugly but I love him.
Can you keep him next week'? I have to go to Denmark.
No, I carft.
Why not?
The cat, for one thing.
No problem. He's very sociable.
Gregory can take care of him.
Grégoire goes to school all day. it's too complicated.
Complicated.
Well, never mind.
Excuse me, I have to greet someone.
Bye.
Work hard.
Sorry, I dorft get What you did here.
Hovv old are your children?
My children?
Thirteen and 17.
You're lucky.
I wish I had a son.
I'd teach him to play ping-pong.
Or a girl.
I'd ask her all sorts of things.
- She'd explain the mystery of women. déréme, vve have to get cracking.
I'll never have kids.
Are you okay?
I'm better.
Fuck!
What the fucks he doing?
Prick!
Stop it, Jéréme!
You're Way out of line!
I'll chop you in half!
We were scared for you.
Yes!
I nearly changed the cleavefis course,
but we're not allowed to change events on Earth.
It's strictly against the rules.
Good thing it was only your ear!
You had a really close shave!
Wererft vve lucky!
Very!
Does it hurt?
Keep still. Can you feel anything?
I'm zonked.
Good.
I'll be home on Sunday.
Can you two cope?
Don't worry.
Okay. Big kiss.
Remember to feed the cat.
No prob. Big kiss.
It's a marathon meeting, right?
Yes, the eurozone leaders have been behind closed doors for 72 hours.
Meal trays were sent in around 8:30 p. m.
Light food, apparently.
Sauerkraut and cassoulet are off the menu, then?
Say it!
Nothing too slow to digest. They're in for a long night.
Thanks, Myriam. A long night in Saint Petersburg too...
Hello, Mr. Mars.
Hello, Clément.
Is your ear okay?
- They sewed it back on? -it was a clean out.
- Will you sue? -Who?
The company, for compensation.
It vvasrft their fault.
Safety at vvork is their responsibility.
Get a good lawyer, they'll settle out of court.
I dorft do blackmail.
Worft you take a break?
- A break? -Go for a Walk. Chill out.
Are you serious?
We're studying like mad, and all you can say is, “Take a walk”?
I'd rather bust my guts now
and get a job that pays enough to live the life I vvant.
Not wipe my own floor, like you.
Wipe my floor?
What are you talking about?
Wake up, Dad! What planet are you on?
Same job for 20 years, still running on Europe 1.0.
You're stuck in the 20th century.
You've lost the plot.
You're a loser.
- A What? -A loser.
The opposite of a winner.
I know What a loser is.
So?
It was in 1572.
Right. And What happened?
The Saint Bartholomew/s Massacre.
Okay, but...
Who got massacred?
People?
Which people?
The Catholics?
Not the Catholics.
- The other group. -Who were they?
Leave that alone. Put it dovvn.
What other group?
The...
Pro...
The professionals!
The Protestants!
“The professionals”!
Can I ask you something?
We're to dissect frogs in Biology next week.
Doesrft it stink to kill animals for school?
It's a learning experience. An act of science.
It's pointless. It stinks!
Dorft change the subject. Why were they massacred?
Who?
Why were they massacred?
Who are the Protestants?
People who protest.
Against What?
The system?
Hovv do Catholics and Protestants differ? You've heard of the Pope?
- Of course. -Who'd have guessed?
Wait! Wait!
I WANT U 2 FUCK MY ASS
What's the meaning of this?
Dorft you know What it means?
Of course I know!
Who sent you this?
Roxane.
Whds Roxane?
She's in my class.
Your class?
Hovv old is she?
Twelve.
Twelve-year olds dorft send texts like this.
She's a bit Weird.
What do you do with her?
What do you mean?
Do you have sex with her?
You dorft seem too sure.
She sucked me off.
- Where? -In the school bathroom.
But really, dorft worry. it's not serious.
Hovv do you mean?
We're not going out.
That's all right, then?
You're smoking?
Since When?
We never saw you smoke.
I didn't, in front of you.
I knew you disapproved.
I didn't Want to disappoint you.
Why am I seeing you?
You died two years ago.
We had to learn hovv to do it.
There's a flaw in the system.
We're not supposed to, but it isrft illegal.
They turn a blind eye.
Where are you, otherwise? In an afiervvorld?
We carft talk about it.
Strictly forbidden.
Like changing events on Earth.
Are you okay?
You look worried.
No, I'm okay.
Just a bit overwhelmed.
By What?
Everything. Work, the children...
You no longer understand them?
Sort of.
Philippe? It's me, Jéréme.
Jéréme?
Can / ask you a small favor?
Favor?
I'm outside in the street.
In the street?
I can see you!
See me? Yoo-hoof
What are you doing here?
- I escaped. Escaped'?
From the psychiatric hospital.
Can / come up? I'm frozen!
Thanks. it's good of you.
It's freezing out!
Not so loud. The kids are asleep.
Okay, sorry-
Any chance of a blanket?
To warm me up.
- Are you angry about your ear? -Yes.
I'm sorry.
What do you Want?
Can you put me up for a day or two?
I'm afraid they'll look for me at home.
We'll get you back to the hospital. it's more sensible.
Sensible.
Sensible?
A funny thing happened to me in the hospital.
I met a woman.
Jéréme, please.
She's great. Not just great...
Keep it down!
Right, sorry.
Her name's Chloé. She's not all that pretty.
Less pretty than Carole Gaessler.
More ordinary, you know?
Even a tiny bit ugly.
But looks arerft everything.
The worst thing is, she's so intelligent!
She advised me to escape.
She has a laser eye for problems.
She gets them fast!
While you're still thinking, pow! She's got the answer.
It's magic.
I think she's tailor-made for me.
Have you ever felt that Way about anyone?
Do you think... I'm falling in love with her?
Dad?
Dad! ifs 7145.
Shit! ls Grégoire up?
You know there's a man snoring on the sofa?
Dorft be scared. I'll explain.
Scared of What?
Nothing. He's from vvork.
A long story.
Hang on. Is he the man who out your ear?
He didn't mean to.
That's comforting!
I couldrft kick him out. Dorft worry, he vvorft stay.
Head Teacher?
I'm Philippe Mars, father of Grégoire in year 8.
It's a rather delicate issue.
I intercepted a text message to my son, who is '12,
from a girl in his class.
A rather... crude message.
Very crude.
Unusually crude for a child of that age.
When I questioned my son, he admitted that this girl...
had performed fellatio on him
in the school lavatory.
Fellatio.
I know what fellatio is.
Do you know who the girl was?
Not her surname.
Like I said, I dorft Want to make trouble for anyone.
What was the message?
It's rather rude.
Don't hold back. I need the whole story.
Of course. It said...
“I Want you to sodomize me”...
but in cruder Words, you get me?
Sorry, / didn't catch that.
“I Want you to fuck my ass.”
I didn't get if.
“I Want you to fuck my ass”!
My serfs head teacher.
Whatever turns you on.
Let's see your ear.
That's funny.
You look like Van Gogh.
Crocodile?
He scared us, the jerk!
I hate that kind of thing.
It's a pain.
He fired himself. That's one good thing.
Hovv are you feeling?
I'm okay.
Scale of one to ten?
I dorft know.
Seven or eight.
Dorft underestimate the trauma.
Seen a psychologist?
I know a good one.
Very skillful and professional.
You should see her.
And we'll agree on a small settlement in token of your... injury.
To put it behind us.
There you go. I've texted you her details.
It's cool working here, right?
Is it cool or not?
It's cool.
It's pretty cool.
Finally, a win for the French rugby team in the Six Nations...
- I'm still here. -I see.
Grégoire came home from school. We got talking and...
But I know I shouldve left sooner.
I liked the feel of your apartment.
I listened to some music.
The Flying Dutchman was on the radk).
You know it?
I like that opera.
Your speakers are good.
Not very powerful, but well-balanced...
I asked you to leave.
I know. But I carft because...
I'm minding the TV for Grégoire.
His mother has to say “cucumber”...
I know.
I tutored him in math.
I taught him fractions. He's an ace at them now.
I helped him with his talk on progress.
So he's a vegetarian?
Chloé too.
The girl at the hospital, remember?
It was very kind of you to help Gregoire, but I asked you to leave.
I know.
I carft go back there.
They'll stuff me full of pills.
Breaking news in Brussels, / hear.
Grégoire, come quick!
Your mothefis on!
You know hovv many animals are slaughtered each year?
A hundred billion.
Every year. Think of it.
200,000 per minute. 3,300 per second.
Try counting every second, like this.
- Tick! 6,300 animals killed.
- Tick! @600.
9,900.
13,200.
16,500.
Hi, Sarah.
Jéréme, my daughter, Sarah.
Nice to meet you.
Did you eat?
A bite at Clémenfs.
Are you a vegetarian too?
Dad?
Can vve have a word?
Right now?
Yes.
You said he'd go.
I know.
Is he sleeping here again?
Do you know What you're doing?
In What sense?
Why you're letting him stay here?
It does him good.
It does him good?
Dad, you're sheltering a man who nearly killed you.
You let him sleep here, with a kitchen full of knives?
Because it does him good?
You know What I think?
I think you're indulging a death wish.
Deep dovvn, you're hoping he'll finish you off.
What are you talking about?
What's that?
Jéréme!
What's up?
What's that?
Those are frogs.
I know that! Why in my bathroom?
Dorft ask me. Nothing to do with me.
Grégoire, explain!
Where did you get them?
School.
- You stole them? -So they vvorft be dissected.
If I find one in my room, I'll cream it!
Cream yourself, bitch! -That's enough!
Put them on the balcony. -it's cold out!
Nature's cold too.
Put them out.
You okay, Jéréme?
Not very.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
All the things I'm going through...
They shake me up.
Seeing the three of you together...
Sarah, Grégoire and you...
It makes me realize...
I'm completely alone...
and I've never done anything good.
Dorft say that.
It's true, though.
He's right.
- Who? -Grégoire.
He wants to change things.
He has ideals.
I've done nothing, nothing at all, for years.
Except write code for goddamn computers.
It's like I've suddenly woken up from a long sleep.
It's good that you care about animals,
but dorft get expelled for a bunch of frogs.
- I wish you'd told me first. -I did.
You did? I dorft remember.
Another thing.
About Roxane, her texts and so on.
You're much too young for it.
It's completely inappropriate.
I can understand that you have thoughts and urges,
but you must learn to control them,
not let it all hang out.
Sarah says I'm a sex maniac.
I dorft think you are.
She only says it to annoy you.
Dorft be impatient.
Sex is a beautiful thing...
but only at the right time...
with someone you really love.
Sex Without feelings isrft worth much.
Really?
Yes.
Sarah says you've gone to bed with Women just for kicks.
I may have done it, but ifs different.
Why?
Because... I'm an adult.
That's why.
I'll clean everything up.
Tonight...
I'm cooking.
Vegetarian moussaka.
We have a guest.
- A guest? -Chloé.
They let her out early, so I asked her to dinner.
Stand back. We're running late.
I borrowed a shirt. You dorft mind?
Grégoire, salt it and hurry up.
- Don't you have homework? -Done it.
Relax, he did it all. His talk is excellent.
I'll give it after dinner.
Blend it!
No slacking!
Eggplants, ready...
A dash of salt.
Here!
Where's my beef?
The beef that was here.
I threw it out.
You threw my beef out?
For Chloes sake. Because shes a vegetarian.
She can't stand bits of dead animal lying around.
Do one thing for me.
Just tell her ifs true.
You and your children are vegetarians.
That's all.
Sarah and Grégoire have agreed.
Sarah agreed?
I gave her 100 euros.
I offered her 50.
She Wanted 150. We settled on 100.
That's Chloé!
I'm not ready.
Grégoire, get the door.
Dorft!
Tell her my mother died, I had to leave and...
it's not Chloé. it's Xanaé coming up.
Xanaé?
My sister.
What happened to you?
It's a long story.
It's funny, you look like Van Gogh.
Get me a glass of Water?
There's a funny smell, like vomit?
Jéréme from vvork. Xanaé, my sister.
So this is What smells. What is it? Sour milk?
No, moussaka.
- Shouldn't you be in Denmark? -Yes.
My taxi to the airport is Waiting downstairs.
To be honest, I'm in a jam. The dog-sitter let me dovvn.
No, Xanaé.
Just one week! His foods in the bag.
Gregory, you're nice. You can look after him.
He's nice but he doesrft have time for your dog.
It doesrft take time!
I'll give him some money.
No! I said no. it's unbelievable, Fabienne!
- Xanaé. -Sorry, I keep forgetting.
“Fabienne” is good enough for me.
Why kick me when I'm down? Must I cancel my flight?
I'm not kicking you. I dorft Want your dog.
All right.
Thanks. I'll handle it. Bye.
You were right to be firm.
Now for the sauce.
Let's go, Grégoire.
Pour it over.
What the fuck?
Fabienne!
Xanaé!
Excuse me.
It's me. Let me in.
Did you catch her?
No. Let me in, please!
Can I help you?
I'm looking for the Mars family.
Are you Chloé?
I didn't introduce myself. Philippe Mars.
I'd rather not.
I have a phobia of touching people.
My son, Grégoire.
Put him on the balcony. -Won't he attack the frogs?
In your room, then.
What's up?
Hi there.
Hi.
How's it going?
I'm okay.
And you?
I'm fine.
Good shape?
Me too.
You already met?
Good.
- May I take a shower? -Yes, of course.
You need a towel?
No, I have one.
Do I have this right?
You invited her to sleep here?
The thing is...
I was going to ask you, but I was afraid you'd say no.
Yes. If you'd asked me, I could have said no.
So you left me no choice.
Can I say something?
I dorft Want to leave you no choice...
but it would be great, if you dorft mind, if...
If What?
You lent her your bedroom.
What?
Be chivalrous.
It's classier for her to sleep in a bedroom than a living room.
For a woman, ifs more private.
Where do I sleep?
In the living room.
With me.
If you Want the whole sofa, I can sleep on the floor.
Doesrft bother me.
What exactly is it?
Moussaka. Botched, but...
Rather.
Completely.
It's much too runny.
We blended it too long.
Tofu would have given it texture.
I love tofu.
Why were you hospitalized?
I bit a woman.
On the Champs-Elysées.
Wearing a silver fox coat.
I savv red and bit her.
Her husband hit me. I bit him too.
It's sick to butcher animals so that fools can flaunt themselves.
Progress.
When industrialization began,
it seemed inevitable that technical progress
would lead to ethical progress.
Human beings, well fed and healthy thanks to hevv discoveries,
would be happy at last, and maybe improved.
But does technical progress bring goodness and joy?
It's hard to say.
An example I deeply care about is eggs.
To mass-produce eggs,
men have genetically selected “laying hens.”
In hatcheries, the chicks are sorted by sex.
Only the females are kept.
Male chicks of laying breeds are useless.
They dorft grow fast enough to be sold as meat.
So they're ground or gassed to death.
In France, 47 million male chicks are exterminated each year.
Technology has enabled man to produce more eggs,
but is it really progress if it kills millions of living creatures?
Nobel Prize-winning author Isaac Bashevis Singer said “No.”
Like me, he was a vegetarian. He wrote:
“Humans are Nazis to all other creatures.
For animals, life is an eternal Treblinka.”
There.
That's it.
Well done, Grégoire.
You know What Treblinka is?
What is it?
A camp Where the Nazis killed the Jews.
I think Sarah means that your comparison with death camps is rather shocking.
You carft say that.
Why not?
Singer was a Jew. He fled Nazism.
- Yes, maybe... -Not maybe!
It's a fact. He knew about it.
Okay, but Grégoire isn't a Jew who fled Nazism.
See, Grégoire? it's too provocative.
Brecht said, “Provocation puts reality back on its feet.”
I'm talking to my son!
You're trying to confuse him.
I'm trying to teach him to weigh his Words.
Dorft listen!
Your talk is perfect. The Singer quote is key.
Your talk is very good but I wish you'd drop the quote.
Where did you get it? Online?
Find another one.
Change nothing!
Will you shut up?
You Want to shut me up?
No, just stay out of my sorfs education.
I'll stay out of yours, if you ever have kids.
Until then, let me speak to my son in peace.
Okay, I'll shut up.
But everything he said is true.
I didn't mean to scare you.
Can vve talk for a minute?
It's very important.
Ru pay YOU-
Twenty euros?
Twenty euros for a minute?
All right.
Without your earplugs?
It's about Chloé. I'd like your opinion.
I like her very much,
but I dorft know if ifs mutual.
The trouble is her phobia.
She carft touch anybody.
It's under her skin.
Shes even given up sex.
She says...
she will never enjoy it until men stop hurting animals.
And as men vvorft stop hurting animals anytime soon...
we're in trouble, right?
I Want to know if you, as a woman...
You think she can change, or is it a non-starter?
I'd like to do all sorts of things with her...
but ifs much less fun if...
if I carft touch her.
Does she know you love her?
I darerft tell her. I dorft Want to rush her.
You'll never know if you dorft.
Hi. All done?
You up, Grégoire?
I start late today.
Shit!
My prince!
Prince Charming.
What's she saying?
I didn't hear. Something about a prince?
Is she your girlfriend?
No, I'm helping her out.
You're helping lots of people.
Because he's a nice boy.
It's Weird.
You seem to have shrunk.
We're not sure why. The mysteries of the afterlife!
Can I ask you something?
Of course, darling. it's What we're here for.
Hovv come you always look so happy?
We are!
Somehow we've always been happy.
It's a mini-miracle!
Why do you ask? Arerft you happy?
Sure. Dorft worry about me.
But vve do!
Parents exist to worry about their kids.
And to give them ideals,
and something called “faith in the future.”
Faith isrft easy these days.
It was no easier when you were born. Everyone was scared...
Of What?
The Third World War.
Russia and America, the Cold War, the nuclear arms race.
They nearly blew up the World.
They Wanted to!
And the oil crisis, inflation, spiraling prices...
It was a real crisis.
Is he depressed?
Philippe, darling...
Are you depressed?
You bought a dog?
Why didn't you call the shrink?
I didn't Want to.
Have you thought about our little settlement?
Not really.
What are you playing at?
You think I'm stupid?
You hired a lawyer?
Acting traumatized?
I'm warning you.
Dorft try to shaft me, or I'll make you bleed.
For Gods sake.
Can vve talk?
What's up?
We have a plan.
A rather crazy plan.
Remember Gregoires talk?
Of course.
- We've decided to act. -Like hovv?
A big new hatchery is about to open.
Very hi-tech.
The most modern in France.
They'll exterminate even more chicks.
113,000 a day, right? -More.
It's less than three hours' drive. Near the Belgian border.
So What?
We're going to sabotage it.
To stop it from opening.
We have it all planned.
We've even found a little marsh Where vve can release Gregoires frogs.
There's only one snag.
One snag?
We have no car.
Neither I nor Chloe can drive, so vve hoped you might drive us.
Not just for the ride.
We really hope you'll be part of the team.
-L-low will you sabotage it'? -Blow it up.
- What with? Explosives.
- You got some? -From the Ayou brothers.
They came from Vercors.
The guys I savv on the landing?
You savv them?
Where are these explosives?
They're... under your bed.
Under my bed?
Relax, ifs totally safe. The Ayou brothers...
They've been making fireworks for at least two years!
Are you in?
You're sick in the head.
I said dorft tell him!
Are you in it too?
Will you light the fuse?
There's no fuse.
I rigged up a detonator using two mobile phones.
Want to see it?
You'd rather stand idly by?
No, just stay out of jail.
You're in jail now.
You heard about the gorilla in Antwerp Zoo?
No, and I dorft care.
You should.
He was big. Strong.
Very smart, like you.
He tried to forget the cage he was in by staying away from the bars.
Smart idea!
He told himself he was free and happy, like when he lived in thejungle.
He just had to be sensible and not move too much.
But the cage was still there.
Despite his ploy, he felt it shrinking every day.
So, to avoid hitting his head on the bars...
he decided to stop moving altogether.
He sat there, static,
for years and years.
Then one day...
he died.
You're like him.
You're not free or sensible.
You're just... static.
Static and mortally sad.
What are you?
A sociopath, unfit for human relations!
The gorilla shits on you!
Cool dovvn, Philippe. Be sensible.
You carft Walk out on us. We need you.
Fuck you!
And fuck your chickens! I'm not even a vegetarian!
Neither is Sarah. Or you!
Why did you say that?
I thought... vve were friends.
We're not friends!
We're hardly even colleagues!
Being crazy is easy.
I can be crazy too.
Hovv hard is that?
Is it hard?
Look! I can do it too!
Hovv hard is that?
Not hard at all!
Hovv hard is that?
- Where are you going? -To Clémenfs. Until Mom gets back.
Good luck with your winner!
I'll walk the clog.
When I get back, I Want you and the explosives out!
Got it? Or I'll call the police.
Grégoire, come with me.
Come with me!
Hurry UP!
I'm fed up. You're a crap father.
You pretend to care about us but all you do is yell at us.
Nonsense!
I didn't yell at you. I never do.
It comes to the same thing.
Everything I say is wrong.
- That's not true. -it is!
Whatever I say, you say I'm wrong.
- I dorft. -See? You're not listening!
You keep saying “No, no!” I carft get a vvord in.
Go on then, speak your mind.
You said Jéréme vvasrft your friend.
I'm proud he's my friend. And you threw him out!
I hate you!
Mr. Mars?
I've been Waiting for you.
You go around saying my daughter wants her ass fucked?
Wait a minute...
Scumbag!
Are you all right?
Should I call the police?
No, ifs okay.
That was Giscards handkerchief.
His monogram is on it.
Keep it as a gift.
- Thanks. -My pleasure.
You should pinch your nose.
Like this.
Did you see them leave?
Stay tuned for sports and weather news,
but first, what's new in Brussels, Myriam?
I gather sparks are flying in the commission building.
Yes, it's been very dramatic.
After ten days of fruitless wrangling...
Frau Merkel pro voked outrage
by calling her male counterparts “Schlappschwé nze, ”
which roughly means “limp-dicks. ”
Any agreement looks unlikely now.
- Cucumber . -The fragile balance...
Cucumber!
The fragile balance looks more...
Cucumber!
...looks more and more...
Cucumber!
...like a cucumber.
Myriam?
I think we've lost Myriam.
Did you hear? She said “Cucumber!”
What is it?
Jéréme and Chloé.
What about them?
Speak up!
They didn't leave.
They Went to the old man.
The old man?
- Next door? -He invited them in.
They're blowing up the hatchery.
The old marfs driving?
They picked up the frogs.
They said I was too young to go with them.
Jesus!
I'm scared it'll go wrong.
I'm scared they'll die.
Did Philippe see us?
No, you kept well dovvn.
Did they say which tovvn ifs near?
Something-dong.
Dong?
Yes, Sarah? We're in a big rush.
Dad?
What's up? Where are you?
It's Clément.
He said it's over.
He ditched me.
Where are you?
Outside his house.
Sit tight. We're on our Way.
Come on, now.
Come on, Sarah.
He said...
He saw he works better on ms own,
that I slowed him dovvn.
He said he helped me more than I helped him.
He said I was a bad deal!
But ifs not true!
Not true!
All vve did was vvork.
Just Work!
I helped him too.
He doesrft need me anymore...
so he dumps me
like a rag.
What's his surname?
Why?
What is it?
Ledoux.
A rag!
M r. Ledoux?
I'm SaraHs father.
Your sorfs ex-girlfriend. Got it?
Tell him my daughter isrft a used tissue or a rag.
Sorry?
Tell him she isrrt a rag. He's not worth her little finger!
Tell him he's a smug little shit and if I see him, I'll chop him in half!
Are you out of your mind?
Yes, I am!
Come on.
What a jerk!
What tovvn near Belgium ends in “dong”?
Why do you ask?
Tell you later.
Sedan? -That's it! Sedan.
- Where are vve going? -To Sedan!
Watch this.
I key the password into phone A,
which is wired to this box.
It starts the countdown.
Phone B, which I keep, displays the countdown too,
so vve know hovv much time is left.
When it gets to zero, phone A sends a pulse to this box,
which will be with the explosives.
Got it! An article in the Ardennes Post.
“New hi-tech hatchery to open near Sedan.
Jobs for the people of... Matton-le-Chesnois!”
Set the GPS.
Matton-le-Chesnois...
You're right to blow it up.
What they do there is bad.
We do eat too much meat.
Even Giscard ate too much.
And he hunted big game in Africa.
I always thought that was tacky.
Mind you, Mitterrand ate ortolans. He even bragged about it.
Even though ifs illegal.
Presidents should set a good example.
Dorft you think?
Speed trap ahead.
Dad?
Did Roxanés dad really punch you?
Yes.
Sorry.
Roxane has a bad reputation, but shes not like people say.
She's a nice girl.
I believe you.
Speed trap passed.
Did you know Giscard had a fling with Brigitte Bardot?
It was hushed up.
Not like his affair with Marléne Jobert.
He had Bardot several times.
I drove them on their trysts.
They would sit back there, on the very seat you're on.
Then they'd go for a Walk in the woods.
I even got a picture.
I took it secretly, of course.
Look.
Isrft that amazing?
I'm quitting my job.
You've found another one?
So What will you do?
I dorft know.
Arerft you scared?
Yes.
But things must change.
Do vve turn off here?
- Can you play this? -Sure.
Can you open it?
Here.
Thanks.
I rarely use it, but ifs high fidelity.
Carft see a damn thing.
Do you like opera?
I know nothing about it.
Let it carry you.
I love you.
What did you say?
I said I love you.
Nonsense.
It's not nonsense.
- I love you. -Stop saying that!
It's true.
It carft be.
You carft love me.
Why not?
Because I'm not lovable.
Yes, you are.
I'm not! You heard Philippe.
I'm not fit for human relations.
Of course you are.
We're relating now, arerft we?
We'll go on relating.
I Want all kinds of relations with you.
I Want to give you kids.
- Kids? -Yes, loads!
Stop the car.
Stop the car!
Sorry?
Stop the car. Stop the car!
Please!
Calm dovvn.
Chloé, stop it!
Stop it!
That's them!
Where are they?
There!
Stop!
Dorft follow me!
Stay there!
Are you okay?
Not hurt?
I'm fine.
Help me!
Chloé's unconscious!
Is she okay?
What happened?
We kissed.
Yes...
I remember.
It's all right.
- The frogs! -What?
Grégoirés frogs are still in the car.
I'll get them!
Somethings flashing in your pocket.
In your pocket.
Shit!
It's started!
Dad! Come back!
There you are. Cheeky things!
Dad! Come back!
Make it stop!
Pnmppe!
What are you doing?
Are you crazy?
A sensible boy like you, risking your life for a fevv frogs?
Good thing Dad stopped the countdown!
We crossed the line.
We did exactly What vve shouldrft.
We carft come back now.
Getaway, quick!
Hurry!
Kiss Sarah and Grégoire for us.
Take care.
We love you all.
It's stopped!
I see Dad there!
Here.
Thanks, Dad.
You're welcome.
It's started again!
Holy shit!
I wish Giscard had seen that.
We're heading on to Belgium.
You are?
Chloé has friends there who'll put us up.
Are you sure?
Good-bye, Philippe.
Good-bye, Chloé.
I'm sorry I called you a static gorilla.
Dorft apologize. I deserved it.
Good luck. Bye.
Good-bye.
Thanks.
Keep up the good vvork.
That's it, then.
Thanks for everything.
Bye, now.
Dorft you Want a lift?
Hitchings better.
Chloé!
Wait for me!