Is that a new person?
[Man responds in Spanish]
[Dialogue in Spanish]
[Instrumental Martial music]
[Woman speaks in Spanish]
S? amiga noodles. We completamente Seguros here...
Because... I have chosen my position carefully.
First rules of engagement: Know your enemy.
Second rule: Know where to involve him.
You keep your machine running. I want maximum heat emissions...
... from these coordinates. Mucho caliente. Comprehensive?
Time, 5:00
Place, seven klicks south of El Chaco.
Situation:
A single Graboid was reported in the area two weeks ago.
Only the third appearance from underground carnivores in the last 11 years.
Unfortunately, the lack of action on the part of local authorities...
... has allowed creatures to metamorphose...
... To the second stage of his life cycle, produces six Shriekers...
A... greedy life-form hermaphroditic...
... Which can double in each number a few minutes by eating enough food.
In this case, chicken.
[squeaky eerie]
Ay, Dios mio!
A truck full of chickens.
lnfrared monitoring now shows the Shrieker herd...
... Moving across the slopes against us...
... Closing is less than 300 meters.
290. 280.
I have succeeded in leading a Shrieker herd away from the civilian population.
My tactical approach is to use various maneuvers... Showing... by Sitting Bull at Little Bighorn...
... And Marshal Rommel during the North African campaign.
The idea is to establish a proper killing zone.
[Blast Away]
BURT: l must take this opportunity to show their zero skills tactically.
[squeaky approach]
BURT: Lacking eyes or ears, they can feel heat only and...
[Man tries to disturb]
Patience, amigo noodles.
[Advice in Spanish]
No need to worry...
L... because once you have the tool right in the hand.
[Instrumental Martial music]
Looking for a little heat?
[Shriekers squealing and howling]
Have a question?
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
[Horn honks]
MlGUEL: Burt, welcome home.
We saw you on CNN shooting cannon objects.
Double .50 antiaircraft tower mounts.
Nice to meet you, Miguel. What is that?
Some real estate people left Reno. They want to cut the valley in the package.
-That'll be a cold day in hell. - That's what I said to them.
Burt, while you go...
... There is a conga line cement truck going up to your place.
What did you build up there?
l installed underground Graboid barrier, my own design.
Big cement box, two-foot thick, reinforced with steel...
... Really surrounds my complex...
... Side and bottom. Now I can sleep at night.
Come on, Burt. What has it been, 11 years?
There is no reason to bring down your guard.
Burt, welcome home.
Put in a bar code reader?
Jodi, they can use it to build profiles on all my purchases.
Burt, welcome home.
Yes, welcome. Next they will want my DNA sample.
How are you?
Jodl: l guess I got by.
BURT: Getting by? You did better from your uncle.
Jodl: ln retail, if you're not three steps ahead, you're one step behind.
Jodl: Do you want your mail? BURT: Yes, I guess.
Perfection of Ranchettes Valley.
They have made an offer for all of us.
Should I file for you?
Jodl: watch Cool. BURT: gift from gauchos.
This keeps updating the time for these nanoseconds...
... By connecting directly with cesium clocks in Colorado...
... Through ultrasonic frequency.
Good above our normal hearing range, but it will give the dog a good fit.
Right. So, can you get me a Graboid or a Shrieker section:
Beak, tentacles, claws?
Don't you overdo this a little?
Burt, this is our claim for fame.
Chinese have pandas. Australia has a koala.
And we have this...
... Even if they are extinct here.
Are you trying to turn the valley into a park?
It's working, your friends Earl and Grady.
I just fought for my piece from a spare dollar. But this...
... This is your garden type of man.
BURT: Graboid Adventure '' Desert Jack, '' Who is this Yahoo?
He moved when you left, started this business...
... Taking people in the Graboid Safari.
I can't believe this.
JACK: [More than the loudspeaker] Believe, ladies and gentlemen.
This is not a garden simulation here.
You are in the heart of the Graboid country.
This is savage subterrestrials...
This... death-dealing dung inhabitants...
... First appeared around 1 1 year ago.
Yes, you keep your eyes peeled, mind and body centered.
These things can jump at any time.
What -
Only rabbits, people. Only rabbits.
Breathe and release. There you go.
It's a sucker, I've seen one leap...
Obviously... 50 meters from the ground, like a volcano.
Swallowed a whole semi-truck. Well, that's what I call roadkill.
I say to you, yes, friends, this whole area is the main eating place.
Only more than the existing back is where a shepherd is simple...
... Named Old Fred lost his flock.
Yes, and everything else from the neck down.
Now as I say, we are in the heart of the Graboid state.
Right at the heart.
Whoa!
JACK: Looks like we have a company, people.
BOY: Man. Is that a Graboid?
JACK: Yes, it looks like that. Get back, child, You will lose a limb now.
[Screams] Oh, God!
JACK: It's flooded! BOY: Relax, lady!
Has it seen us yet?
I don't know. I can't tell. But it's bigger than I've ever seen.
Look!
Oh, God!
BOY: Here it is! JACK: Control yourself, don't panic.
Continue. Come on Move in!
Well, we'd better get the hell out of Dodge!
Come on now.
We got it. lt is called divine intervention.
Just with Jack's stick, You will make it back.
That's one.
I think he smelled us.
Thought-they only hunt by sound. -That's what I mean, sound.
Four!
Alright, baby. Has been waiting for you.
Come to Daddy.
Come on, ride this stone here.
Here you go. Here you go. Give me your hand, honey. Come on
Alright.
Hold on to your hat now. Next is the rest of us.
We have all now?
Let's see here, one, two, three, four, five.
That's good. Well, I think we just wait for the best spell.
How long do you think it will happen?
Well, Mom, time is an eternal river.
I suggest we don't swim upstream.
Damn, it's hot here.
JACK: Anyone for cold beer?
I have $ 3 bottles domestically, $ 4.50 imported.
Also, maybe l recommend my fresh fruit juice?
Mango Monster. Graboid Grape.
For additional money, You can store a glass souvenir.
Glow in the dark. Look at that.
[Instrumental Martial music]
RECORDlNG: Please enter the passcode...
... Or Level 1 security programs will be activated in ten seconds.
Nine seconds, eight seconds, seven seconds...
... Six seconds, five seconds.
JACK: Thank you for your business. I would say we got lucky enough out there today.
-Of course. -All we see is dust.
That's all you want to see, believe me, child.
Stay on the asphalt now until you are clearly out of the valley.
Tell your friends about us.
JACK: Must equip cold here.
By the way, you didn't pay me for that ice bag this morning.
JACK: Well, you know, I think it's free ice.
I'm in business here, Jack.
So am l. I have thought you should to sell my drink at wholesale.
-Because? -Lt is part of our symbiotic relationship.
Symbiosis of relationships. That's good, Jack.
JACK: You see, Jodi, everything related.
My business brings the business to your business.
Maybe it's like an increase around, around around...
... 50%.
Actually...
22%... with questionable sustainability.
Sustainability is questionable?
Do you have a business plan?
I tried not to plan too much. l trust in the ebb and flow of the universe.
You must plan to be a decent entity in the current economic landscape.
Look, me, I am in phase three establishing my product identity.
You know, L.L. Bean, '' canoey, '' outdoorsy.
Land's End, '' golf clubby, '' '' sailboaty. ''
I see. I see. Chang Market.
ls that, you know, that, kind of '' deserty, '' '' '' Underground monstery?
Jodl: Right.
All righty.
There is no hope of stopping you from being a worthy entity...
... Because I hate when that happens.
I'm billing you for that free ice.
[Underground Roar]
You know, l really like this clay.
lt doesn't crack in kiln, but it's so expensive.
I can get 10% off if you order 200 pounds.
Yes, I can't even pay it.
-Hi, Jodi. -Hey, Mindy.
MlNDY: Can you give this to Jack when he comes?
Sure. Throw them on the table.
Thank you.
Mindy, l think Jack expects you to sew pants...
... Don't just stick a ribbon on them.
Mom, tape is a total statement.
People like Jack and I understand that.
l was to the pin, myself.
-Hey, Burt. -Hey, Mindy.
BURT: I thought you were going to school.
Didn't you tell me?
I have to drop out. We cannot pay the tuition.
So, I went back to work at Arby below at Bixby...
... and trying to survive my mother.
Well, I hope things work.
Thank you.
JACK: Beer inside.
There you go. Watch your steps.
Gummer?
Is that you?
lt is, right?
Damn it!
Real nice to meet you, sir. Jack Sawyer.
I've started this business a little tour.
Type of respect for you.
I will be honored if you will consider becoming a part of it.
Sign some autographs...
... Maybe a small arms demonstration.
MlLTON: Mom, take my picture with the earthquake.
MlLTON'S MOTHER: Funny Idea.
They are called Graboids.
Come here, people.
See who I have for you. Come on down!
Mr. legendary Burt Gummer himself.
MLLTON: Mom, it's a gun person.
lt is.
Here, Milton.
Stand here, stand up. You don't mind, are you?
Straight, honey. Good and high. Taller!
Say Graboids ''. ''
-Graboids. -Oh good.
Thank you very much, Mr. Goober.
You have your facial expressions. What was that?
MlLTON: Don't start, Mom.
They're out of their pumpkins now.
My inner voice has told me...
... You and I are destined to work together.
What do you think?
If I have an inner voice it will tell me to tell you to get lost.
Well, you know, take your time.
You only think about it and come back to me now.
He will come around.
Buford! Get your head out of your pants.
Just seeing the scenery.
Drooling to yourself. Go set for the next group.
You don't have to be so mean.
Boy, you will be as sharp as a bowling ball.
Yes, tough guy.
Hi, Mindy.
That skull was torn open wide, kid.
Eyeballs appear. Ugly!
Now as I say, You are in the heart of the Graboid state.
Yes, you're right in the heart of the city.
Let me tell you something, boy...
... You're right in that damned heart!
WOMAN: Honey, did you see that? MAN: Oh my God! See!
JACK: Having a small engine problem, people.
Stay calm. Keep calm.
WOMEN: Where is that? JACK: Stick with Jack, you will make it back.
JACK: Hold on to your hat. MlNDY: Help, help, Graboid attacks.
This is what you do all day?
I mean, don't be offended, Buford, but it's like tragically paralyzed.
This is a good life.
Compared to what I did before.
Which one?
Well, I am...
Shoveling... roadkill for the county.
Okay, I got you, but...
... Why is Jack wasting his time...
Deceiving... yahoos with the Scooby-Doo routine?
l believe there are billions of things better _ Such people can be done.
l bet he's nursing a broken heart. Or really something tragic.
l bet he's just dying talking to someone who understands him.
JACK: Alright, we got everything now?
Damn, it's hot here. Anyone for cold beer?
You know, I can't help but see that you get...
Very red... here in the sun.
[Underground Deep roar]
Do you really have to keep doing it?
When will this tour end, anyway?
You don't enjoy my company, huh?
A man can be offended at that time.
What is that?
[Buford screams]
[suspenseful music]
MlNDY: [Screams] Freeze!
Is he okay?
[Underground Roar]
[Secretly mouth instructions]
[guluk]
[Gruboid hissing]
[Secretly mouth instructions]
[Clinking button]
[suspenseful music]
JACK: Come on, give me your hand!
This isn't even real!
MlNDY: Everyone, shut up! JACK: Listen to him!
MAN: Who are other people? MlNDY AND JACK: Shut up hell!
Jeep Jack can avoid it, but we need a distraction.
Some noise! Everyone, achieve something.
WOMEN: Like what? MlNDY: Like anything.
We will throw things out like that...
... Then we will pile up on the Jeep and haul ass.
Got it? Okay. At three.
One, two, three! Okay!
[Camera Clatters]
MAN: Where is my camera? Do you throw away my new camera?
[Sound of electronic devices Fast]
This time we are ready for you.
[Siren Blares]
This is Graboids delivery has four tentacles instead of three.
They look ridiculous. No one will buy it.
-What's that? -That's Burt's siren.
Jodl: Graboid Ladder? lt can't be real, Nancy.
NANCY: He won't blow the siren except for real.
I hope this is Mindy okay. Hope he doesn't do anything stupid.
I don't pay for them!
MAN: If you ask me, there is something very amateurish about this operation.
You bring people into life-death or- situations, and you don't have a real gun?
Do you even license to do this?
You want to see a Graboid, You see a Graboid.
l advise you to hit the highway and don't stop until you reach Seattle.
l expect you to pay for the camera!
NANCY: Mindy, thank God! What happened?
MlNDY: Mom, they're back. We only made it out.
Graboids? That life?
JACK: Burt, we found one.
Fucks killed Buford. I mean, it's booming and it's gone.
The problem is like the size of a whale.
Yep, I've seen them.
NANCY: Burt, is it okay? Can we go down?
Come on down. They don't close.
you check the seismo-monitor l give you?
lt doesn't work well. I think the battery is dead or something.
Come on, Burt. Is this what, 11 years?
[Radio crackles]
Burt here. Talk to me.
MlGUEL: Burt, is that the siren sound for real?
Affirmative.
No me chingas.
BURT: Are you on your roof? MlGUEL: Damn right, l am.
Check the seismo-monitor? Any Graboid activity near your farm?
Burt, it's an air thing, it can be bent, man. I have wanted to fix it for a long time.
Now, now it's all hands on the deck, Miguel.
So, I suggest you bug out smoke, maintain steady speed on your truck...
... And report to HQ at Chang's house, You copied it?
[Lower cow]
[Underground Roar]
BURT: Good news, there are only three. Jodl: How do you know that?
BURT: A few years ago, I put the geophone monitoring system around the valley.
Data sends to my laptop, gets triangle.
lt's all based on Rhonda LeBeck's geological research.
-L sells all of his books. -Comic is better.
Really.
[Removing throat]
They move slowly down from the north, like the last time...
... From the Jasmer quadrangle, straight down the valley...
BURT:... to the Calypso quadrangle. MlNDY: Huh?
-I think he means Cactus Flats. -Why can't he just say?
So what do we do?
A little bit of the forest you ride on the boat is complete, mister.
-Time to fish or cut bait. -So what do we do?
NANCY: Burt, I'm sorry, but we're not cutting right now.
We don't need to act like the militias.
We will ask for help.
BURT: Nancy, because nobody cares to maintain their seismic equipment...
... We don't know how long they have been active...
... And because you don't know when they can become Shriekers.
We can't wait for the authorities.
We are the authorities.
What do we do?
We hunt them.
We destroyed them.
We can leave at dawn.
BURT: This is perfect.
BURT: How much do you have in stock? Jodl: Eleven.
All of them need to request.
Request. Am l getting replaced?
BURT: Not today. JACK: How does it work?
JACK: Kill them with toy trucks?
-Graboids hunt by sensing - -Voice. I know.
A Graboid hears a toy truck, goes after it like a cat to catnip.
-Lt is in comic books. -When he swallows blow up explosives.
Boom! End of worm.
Explosive. Where will we get explosives?
This is not an official sanctioned event...
... I've given something my own design.
MlGUEL: Don't worry about Burt. He knows what he is doing.
It feels like that. Enter this on my tab.
BURT: Mount and move out. Jodl: You don't have a tab!
MlNDY: Jack, I'm going with you.
No, you don't.
BURT: Yes, sir?
Statler: Good morning. Mr. Gummer?
'Morning.
Agent Frank Statler.
- My cousin, he returned to Mexico. -I've applied for my business permit.
The right to bear arms will not be violated.
The Interior Department.
This man is Field Agent Rusk from BLM...
Dr. Andrew... and Merliss, Director of Paleontology at the Smithsonian.
We don't have time to chat. We have work to do.
Not if Graboids hunts it, you don't.
l call them, Burt.
Statler: l given authority to ensure compliance with Section 1472-B...
... From the Endangered Species Act...
... that maintains well-being large class of desert reptiles.
I enforce a direct ban on the hunt for Graboids in the valley of Perfection.
They are my cattle out there, pendejo.
MlGUEL: BLM people gave permission to kill anything dangerous to my livestock.
El lobo, el coyote and el Graboid.
Your BLM man reported to him, who reported to me...
... and I'm here to tell you there will be no more murder than Graboids.
So, we let them live, and we become endangered species.
You have played in the oldest eradication...
... the rarest species on earth.
Not once, but on three separate occasions, on two continents.
Maintain life and property, guests from two foreign governments.
-Are you even aware of public anger? -Publik? Not this society.
Our mandate is simple:
To investigate, trap and transport at least one creature to study.
Traps and transportation?
If you find that it is not possible, we will be overcome with Shriekers.
If we find there is a threat to public safety...
... We are ready to evacuate Perfection Valley and close it off.
Wait a minute! Will you make us leave?
That's not why I called you. I called you here to help us.
The government will offer compensation for your property. It was given.
Eminent domain.
And people call me paranoid.
JACK: I don't think you are paranoid.
MlGUEL: I did, but nothing else.
[Rifle Shot]
[Fast electronic sound]
[Deep roar]
Bastard!
[Instrumental Martial music]
[Sinister instrumental music]
BURT: "Call me Ishmael".
Now if you will kindly lean against your rare carcass...
... past my property line.
I will contact death prematurely. You defend yourself.
Jodl: Stupid Graboids Damn.
Not able to get the leading domain out.
Every l percent has been related to this business.
Well, at least you have a business.
JACK: Body language says it all.
Rusk: Does that say I can use cold beer?
Jodl: What will happen? Rusk: Miller Lite.
JACK: Yes, we still don't have cell towers.
You can use a payphone.
Beyond that, CBs and walkie-talkies only.
Rusk: Charming.
You're not serious about making us move out, right?
Unless we can catch one of them, we may have no choice.
lt type seems like a small operation.
I mean, to catch one whole Graboid.
We don't have a lot of budget. This is not a high priority in Washington.
But if you don't catch one...
... I mean, you guys will go go home heroes, right?
Looks good on a resume.
And what point will you be?
People who know about things...
... One person who can help...
... is warming up the bench because you took it out of the game.
I didn't take it out of the game.
BURT: [During radio] May I remind you, Jack, they are not your friends?
They are government agents. Over.
JACK: [During radio] Cut me some slack. All I do is negotiate.
BURT: What did you do? JACK: l cut us a deal.
We help capture one Graboid life, they give you back your hunting license.
BURT: Copy that. Roger. One question. JACK: Shoot.
You ls head to your ass for warmth?
We think you will be happy.
- Do you want to be domained out leading? - Catch Graboid alive?
lt is hard enough to kill one without saturation bombing.
l told them, Burt Gummer, it came with something.
Smart bastards, and they will get smarter.
You're still here, right? I will say you are awake for that.
So, Mr. Gummer, what do you think?
Fish or cut bait.
You...
... Say you have some sort of sedative.
Rusk: Yes, we are using arrow sedatives.
We have them chasing us, but can't get this to penetrate the dirt.
I ordered the titanium tip and the launch gun was stronger.
Of course, you can waste taxpayers' money...
... But I can get Graboid to swallow this...
... with this, for $ 49.95.
Then, if he goes to sleep, you can dig it up...
... Bring it back to Area 51...
... or whatever fits You have reasonable deniability.
I don't understand what you say, but we agree?
Because we want to know what we have to do.
You do what you do best.
Find something simple and complicated.
kindness lt he declared himself. Emotional pressure can be a real poison.
He needs counseling.
-Sign in! -Hah?
You got me into this.
Alright!
BURT: Use the door!
MERLLSS: This is trusted lt!
Frank, Charlie. It feels amazing. Unbelievable.
l do core...
... Know where they were recorded which Graboid the initial movement.
Voila!
l hit this at the third excavation.
lt egg. I've proven they are from eggs.
I've been carbon-dated. The remains of the egg yolk that are currently...
But... the shell is more than 300 years old.
-Graboids must have come from this. -They slept for 300 years?
lt appears so. I need to use your phone. L must call the museum.
Jodl: I'll give you $ 50 for that.
lt will go directly to the Smithsonian.
Okay, alright. $ 100.
Someone is married?
First, we make enough noise to lure one near.
Then, we use the -controlled truck as bait.
Fucking the FBI. l told them to interfere.
JACK: No, I think it's someone else.
Well, Burt. Long time no see.
Looking for a good one. Hard core as usual.
-Melvin? -Lt Mel, actually.
Why don't you ever answer our letter, and I have to push all the way here?
Perfection of Ranchettes Valley. That is you?
You said l'd never mean anything.
Listen, Burt, we made some really good deals here.
Between you and me, because we are friends...
... You will get twice what we offer others.
What are you doing? You grew up here.
Exactly. I will not expect this place to anyone.
So, come on, Burt. What do you say?
l'd say, I will give you head start ten seconds.
People fold, Burt, and I have this whole county in my pocket.
You can't last forever.
I was born to survive.
[Electronic beeping]
Burt, is this bad? lt looks rather bad here.
JACK: Is this bad? lt...
Graboid. One of them saw us. Freeze. Everyone, calm down.
-A Graboid? -Calm down!
Are you kidding me?
MEL: For real?
[Pager beeps]
[Secretly mouth instructions]
[Burt screams]
Burt! Burt, wait!
Hey, Burt, wait. I'll get a rope.
[Melancholic music]
[Radio crackles]
Yes.
BURT: [During radio] Houston, we have a problem.
-Burt? -Firmative.
Are you okay?
BURT: Not much time. Only gets limited air. What's my 20?
Wait. Wait.
JACK: Well, you're about a quarter mile west - No, it's better to make it east of me.
BURT: A few miles from my place, was involved in the Graboid.
What?
BURT: Drive like hell, and lead the bastard through my front gate. Coffee?
Yes, I copied, but...
BURT: Get out of the air. Burt came out.
Burt! Burt, what did I do when I got there?
What am I doing? Burt! Burt!
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
Come on, Graboid. Come on, baby, come on!
Come on, baby.
We walk with the Graboid.
Holy shit!
Collision.
Burt! Burt, are you there?
[Silence]
Wait. I will be there.
[Sound crashing tool]
Wait, friend! Wait, buddy!
Just breathing!
Come on, baby!
Wait, friend!
Wait!
Jack! That Melvin Person said you got attacked!
What are you doing?
l'd be more...
We continue... this...
... for ourselves.
[Faint martial motives]
You definitely need to be watched.
BURT: Burt here. You read me? Come back.
Come back. Burt here. Come back!
Is that a Graboid?
BURT: Yes, but we have to see two of them.
BURT: Did one of you hear from the FBI?
BURT: I can't raise them. JACK: Not since this morning.
I guess they are out of radio range. They chase the Graboid a.
Are they chasing it? lt isn't chasing them? I'm not like that.
So, maybe they are afraid of that.
Jesus, what is that?
Dr. Merliss, what happened?
[Crying] We found the Graboid.
On the surface.
-Lt is - -Hollow. Split open.
Yes, splitting. Split open.
When we check it...
... Voice.
I heard a scream.
And then they are all around us.
So fast!
Rusk and Statler...
... Shot!
l hid in my van, but they tore it apart.
l remembered something. Don't let them see body heat.
l sprayed myself.
It's cold. lt's so cold.
-That's good. That's good thinking. -No.
Not entirely effective, I'm afraid.
MlGUEL: Mi madre!
BURT: [Radio] Nancy, Mindy. Come back. NANCY: Yes, Burt. We are on the roof of Chang.
MlNDY: Is Graboid still around? BURT: We have a bigger problem now.
-Squealers? -No, screechers.
Shriekers. The government team is all dead.
NANCY: God. BURT: These sobs are not hunted by sound.
They see heat with the sensor organs on their heads.
BURT: You have to hide You heat the body somehow. Copy it.
Hiding our body heat?
Burt, we copy.
Can't track Shriekers with geophone...
So... I was rigged to download infrared satellite imagery.
When Shriekers first appeared, there were only six of them.
If we can kill them before they find food and breed, we have a chance.
Okay, here we go. Preston Dry Lake. Jeep trail.
There is us. They are our car, right? Read the engine heat.
BURT: Bingo. We have visuals. Jodl: Two, four. There are seven of them.
Do you mean, they've already made more than themselves?
Yes, they chew Statler and Rusk. We are better able to move.
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
l really hate my life.
Damn, I still don't see them.
Jodl: How do you focus on these things? BURT: Here, try this.
JACK: It's better to get satellite stuff again.
JACK: We have you covered. BURT: That's all, there.
MlGUEL: There are eight of them. Jodl: What do they eat?
Coyotes, lizards, snakes. They don't care.
This is really serious.
l keep trying to tell you people! How far is your cattle?
-If they get to your herd, we are in trouble. -Burt, look.
Seen there. They will be that canyon box there.
JACK: There is only one way out from there.
-If we get there before - -L am with you.
We just roll on and mop they're a bit of a demon up.
Graboids!
BURT: Go! Go! JACK: Come on! Come on!
Miguel! Where the hell...
Es Blanco.
Damn it.
I have never seen the living.
Holy shit!
What do we do now?
Radio Nancy and Mindy to call for some kind of assistance.
JACK: Damn trying to eat my Jeep. What does he think?
Machine. He goes for noise.
Don't you read Graboid comics? lt's all there.
Panic snails. l owe you money on that.
-Jack, do you have your walkie? -It's on my Jeep.
Where is yours?
BURT: On my hood.
Well, I guess we just wait.
BURT: Darn! Man!
Jodl: Are you worried that the Shriekers might come out...
... And go eat Miguel's cattle, and, I don't know, all of Nevada?
Of course. But I don't think about it where I have control.
That's good. I have to do all the dwellings.
If you choose to.
Do you know what you have found?
Most people prefer you dramatic cumulus and nimbus clouds.
But I always have weakness for cirrus.
Yes. Thin, and the way up there, you know?
I won't know.
-Well, don't ever look up? -I am busy.
Too busy to look for?
Yes, as a matter of fact, me. I work for myself here.
OK? l can have live in San Francisco...
Parlayed... my MBA to six digit income. But hey.
I'm busting my ass eking alive here...
Jodl:... to build something for myself. JACK: I know it's not easy.
But I just think you can enjoy yourself when you're struggling.
Who said I didn't enjoy myself?
You know, I don't have to justify myself to you.
[Secretly mouth response]
Foodmall?
You said you bought You are all equipment from me!
I don't remember signing the purchase agreement.
lt is verbal commitment. lt is understood, okay?
In exchange for binding on my phone line and computer.
You get free overhead, friend.
And, for your information, I enjoy myself.
I did.
Now, one of the few good news. The Shriekers are still in the canyon.
BURT: Must be the same person I look outside my house.
Albino, I think.
We used to have female goats like that.
There are no children.
MlGUEL: lmpossible. BURT: sterile?
Maybe that's why El Blanco hasn't changed to Los Shriekers.
A child -
[Alarm beeps]
BURT: 5:00, at the point.
Be the sunrise soon.
In 37 minutes, 32 seconds.
MlGUEL: Hey, Burt. Head up! BURT: What?
BURT: Why, you...
MlGUEL: He follows you, Burt. I think he has something for you.
BURT: l If I can reach Grizzly .50 caliber, l'd have a thing for him.
[squeaky eerie]
What are they?
lt must be!
But I have never heard them make such sounds before.
Like coyote...
... by killing them.
BURT: They are still in the canyon. Can't afford to wait.
I have to get to my radio.
Wait, Burt! Try this.
l saw it on MacGyver's repetition.
Dental floss! I always carry it.
MlGUEL: Yes. There is.
MlGUEL: Yes. Come on Come on!
MlGUEL: There, you got it. BURT: Yes!
Nancy! Mindy! Burt here. Come back!
What's wrong?
We were shot by...
... This is a big white Graboid, and we need to help.
I want you to make one of the hells of a racket on the radio. Coffee?
Do you want noise, Burt? l copy that.
- Dear, what happened? -Burt just calling in request.
[Hard rock blares via radio]
MlGUEL: He happened to it.
BURT: Here we go. One more.
MlGUEL: come back lt's coming! BURT: Yep.
BURT: He takes bait. Jodi, Jack, let's move it.
-This is yours: .308, four shots on the mag. -I don't know -
lt won't bite you. Jack, take you Weatherby and let's do this.
-My "" Weather "what? -Your rifle. In your gun rack?
The gun isn't real. Borrowed it from several film people.
BURT: Here. Do you know which finally the bullet came out of?
JACK: I've seen films. BURT: Here. You look cold.
Now, let's go over our bag of Shriekers limits.
Come on!
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
MlGUEL: Must be right on the corner.
[loud noise]
JACK: What - Jodl: Gosh, what are they doing?
BURT: I don't know.
BURT: Let's soften them a little. MlGUEL: l remember the baby.
BURT: Cover!
[Big Bang]
Holy shit! He is not playing games.
Burt is very committed.
Come on, come on! Let's hit them!
[Jack whoops]
JACK: Check it out!
yawning them! I mean, there's nothing left.
No, no. We must see the remains. They will not only be destroyed!
-How do you know? -L've blown them before!
MlGUEL: It looks like they spilled some kind of skin or skin, like a snake.
I'm not like that.
Maybe they are back underground.
Let's go find my truck.
[Somber instrumental music]
MlGUEL: Burt! I really like that truck.
Jodl: Man. That must hurt. lt is new, right?
MlGUEL: At least it's dead for good reason.
And I'm Grizzly Big Bore. Weapons carried on my side.
I am ammunition.
Jodl: Something moves, behind the fence.
[Roaring]
JACK: lt's a Shrieker?
No more, it's not.
BURT: ln Mexico and Argentina, We killed them before they lived 12 hours.
JACK: This is what happened when you didn't?
Jodl: They just keep mutating like viruses? BURT: l don't know!
BURT: Hey, look. That gun boy has the same heat sensor.
Tracking us.
[Roaring threatening]
It's not smart to track down Burt.
What is it doing now?
Jodl: What...
JACK: Point, shoot! Come on! Point, shoot!
Nothing!
Jodl: Oh, God.
-L don't have to take that shot. -Should shoot faster!
JACK: How do you know it's going to take off like a fucking rocket?
[Melancholic music]
Jack, give me your walkie.
Nancy, Mindy? Burt here. Come back.
Yes, Burt. We're here.
Nancy, listen. They are....
They killed Miguel. She's gone.
Oh, God, no.
What, Miguel? There is no!
Nancy? Jodi here.
Jodl: [During radio] The Shriekers can fly now.
So, go down the roof. You are not safe there anymore. Coffee?
[Nancy and screaming Mindy]
NANCY: Hurry up! Help!
NANCY: The key! That key.
[pounding]
[Hissing]
MlNDY: [Screams] come back lt's coming!
NANCY: What are you doing? MlNDY: They can only look hot!
I'm not stupid, you know! Come on, into the meat locker!
dear, I never thought you were stupid.
[Jodi groaned in disgust]
[buzz fly]
Eggs. Graboid eggs.
JACK: So it's Graboid, for a Shrieker, to one of the things here is new...
... And finally back to Graboid a.
Jodl: lt will make sense, biologically. I think they developed the ability to fly...
... so they can bring eggs as far as possible.
[Jack of complaint]
JACK: Well, look at that. Look at that there. Reacts with air.
It smells like a bad night of peanuts.
Jodl: Some existing high-octane acid stomachs.
BURT: Very reactive. Almost like pure sodium.
JACK: Whatever it is, they work on their buttocks, see -
- Excuse me? -No, no. That's how they take off.
Always new to things.
[Overhead that blows]
BURT: No, forget it, you're both empty.
-Kosong? - Has it been?
You were fired ten years, he fired four. I'm empty, too.
That's just big. Big.
My place is three miles away. We must try to make it.
With Honkers doing air surveillance?
We have to hide we are somehow hot body.
BURT: Alright, that's...
I can make stupid suggestions.
Jodl: None! All the saying l'm, we found them, right?
So, we have to name them. Let me think.
OK. "Explosion-Offer." Or "Butt-Launcher" Here. It is better? "Ass-Blasters" How is that !?
JACK: Sounds like porn.
[loud noise]
Listen!
JACK: Get off! Down!
He doesn't see us! We're okay.
[Electronic beeping]
Afternoon-date? -Damn it! El Blanco.
JACK: I'm sorry? BURT: White Graboid.
-He's moving towards us. -Can't we get a break here?
Come on, come on. Through this way.
Under this ridge solid granite intrusion.
We will follow it, but El Blanco will have to go around.
JACK: Granite intrusion? BURT: l memorized the geology of the valley.
JACK: Oh, yeah. L long to do that.
BURT: Give me your weapon and make yourself at home.
I'll see if Nancy and Mindy managed to get through for the National Air Guard.
JACK: Lots of choices.
Nancy, Mindy. Burt here. Come back.
Burt calls Nancy and Mindy. Coffee?
Do you know they supply l buy?
How do I let you have them at a cost?
Feeling guilty?
BURT: Nancy, Mindy. Come back. JACK: Yes.
But most of me will need traveling money.
BURT: Burt calling Nancy and Mindy. Coffee?
Did you hear?
Burt here. Come back. Nancy? Mindy?
BURT: Nancy? Mindy? Talk to me. Jodl: So, will you leave?
Cannot run a business where your customers can be eaten.
Guess not. -Nancy, Mindy, Burt here. Come back!
Damn it! Their hopes are fine.
[Electronic beeping]
Our old friend El Blanco finally came this way.
No need to worry, Our perimeter is really Graboid-proof.
[loud noise]
But is it proof-blaster?
[lunging]
BURT: Come on, come on. I'll take my weapon!
Go! Go! Come on!
In this way, enter a safe room!
Come on!
The seal!
[Heavy pounding]
-What is all this? Food? -Better. MRes.
The most dense food, the most nutritious is known to humans.
Okay, how long can we wait here?
Six, seven years. Depending on how well you maintain your diet discipline.
[Heavy pounding]
The bastard melts the door down.
Damn butane, ass-butt blasting.
BURT: Forget it! Here!
Escape-tunnels! -Burt, l like you.
You have to! Let's go!
What happens if this eats your food?
Blitzkrieg Assassins.
Leave! I will take care of it.
[suspenseful music]
Tricks or treats, you bastard!
- Five gallons of unleaded gasoline. -Man. You really go the distance!
Yes, I'm a self-destruction work.
The fire must reach my share from reloading the powder correctly about...
... now.
BURT: Come on! Here. JACK: Go, leave!
[Radio crackles]
NANCY: [During the radio] Burt! BURT: What now?
Burt, where have you been? We've tried to raise you.
NANCY: You will not believe. BURT: No, I try.
NANCY: Do you know the Shriekers fly? We have one!
Well, actually, it almost made us, but you know how we got it?
Food! It's eating half the food in the shop!
NANCY: If they eat enough, they go into a food coma!
No They multiply!
NANCY: No, Burt, they don't! Just feed him!
Give all your MRes.
Burt, did you hear me?
Burt?
NANCY: Burt, did you hear me?
Burt?
Burt....
Burt isn't available at this time, but thanks for the update, Nancy.
What kind of supreme will forgive the irony?
Now, there is someone who says, sharpshooter aiming at himself.
Strength of non-attachments. You need to enter that now.
Enough with Zen satire, okay?
Burt? Keep.
For the whole life of preparation, and l are finally refugees?
I hate to ask, but we go through is this all just to be eaten by El Blanco?
The explosion was so loud, they pushed it away.
You must really read comics.
[Sizzling overhead costs]
Jodl: Are there more than four of them?
It's not like fire to attract any heat-seeking...
... Meat eaters in the valley.
-We have to hide. -Where? l have a house!
Junkyard.
Junkyard! Yes.
We only need to go that far.
The universe provides.
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
- The universe provides a boat? -And blue tarps. Come on!
Get your heinies here before they see us! Now, move it! Come on!
Enter! Put it on yourself!
JACK: Come on! Like I said, just sticking with Jack, you will make it back.
Jodl: Now, go left. No, no! Really!
Jack, go right!
Jodl: Not that far! Now right! JACK: Make your mind up!
What is it -
The little shit.
Jodl: We made it! See! Many places to hide!
[overhead puffing]
Wait. lt doesn't see us.
BURT: Quietly, get out of the boat.
And calm down, just head for -
[Whispers]
lt's looking at us! Shit! Run it!
JACK: Got you, Jodi! Let's run it.
Jodl: It's coming!
God.
-That's there, can you hear it? -L heard that.
-It's there. -That's what I said.
Let's leave here.
JACK: Yes! BURT: That one is for Miguel!
About the time we got a break.
This is where the rest of them are.
Jodl: God! Do you think they see us? Do they know we are here?
No.
Yes.
-Cover. We have to find a cover. -We can hide inside.
No.
Yes. Come on
Go, leave!
-God, no. Can we hide there? -No time!
Well.
Let's assess the situation.
-We're fucked. -We screwed up in the toilet?
BURT: l If you have been able to reach only one weapon! Even one shot.
-How long have we been stuck here? -Minutes.
Our heat combined will make this light thing to them.
-So, we run! We just run like hell! -No, they fly. We can't get half a mile.
OK. Can't stay. Can't leave. Your turn.
[Heavy pounding]
We must fight them.
They are not smart. They only see heat.
Jodl: They light their farts. How does that help?
No, wait.
They are full of flammable chemicals.
Can we trigger them somehow? Get them to swallow something hot?
-How? -Stick them with something hot, or fire.
- A spear is on. -They killed us if we were that close to them!
I prefer to shoot them somehow. l If only I -
Jodl: Burt, you don't have a weapon. Face it.
-A potato gun! W-what?
-A potato gun! -What?
You don't make one as a child, Burt?
-L converted my airgun to full auto- -We made them from old pipes.
You seal one end, put in a few drops of mild liquid...
... Sticks in potatoes, touchhole light. Potatoes will be one hundred meters long.
Jodl: Only, instead of potatoes, we shoot a lit arrow.
Why not?
l like that.
Yes! Now, of course, we have to do some shopping.
We need to get some pipes, sizes, things for arrows, cloth to burn.
Then we will need something for gasoline. Alcohol.
This won't be easy.
Wait, I have a line on liquid light. You two, go for the part.
-You see one of the rockets nearby? -There is no?
Nothing? Alright, let's go.
Pay attention to yourself.
[suspenseful music]
[Puffing]
[Jodi's screams]
[Puffing and pounding]
Yes.
Ass-Blaster! Slam your own damn ass!
JACK: What is that?
Jodl: l killed one! l did it! JACK: The way to go, girl!
BURT: Don't be arrogant! That still leaves three!
l killed one.
BURT: [Call] Listen, it will be dark soon. How do we do it, people?
Jodl: I have several pipes. JACK: I have some cloth.
BURT: Good work!
JACK: I need a few arrows. BURT: Let's meet above at the time of the yellow truck.
Okay, Nestor, we need your help.
Yes.
Thank you, Nestor.
[Jodi's screams]
Burt.
-What took Jack so long? -I do not know.
-Jack! -Is that enough?
That will do.
Now, look.
Let's move to a mobile home.
lt offers high ground for good lines from fire.
[Overhead that blows]
Run!
BURT: Come on, Jodi!
JACK: That key! Yes, eat it.
Damn, girl.
[Puff outside Ass-Blaster]
Come on, let's get to work.
A friend, Nestor, was killed in the first Graboid invasion.
The trailer ends here. He loves his shine.
JACK: Here, rip some.
JACK: Now, you have to seal one end. Also, make a touchhole to turn it on.
BURT: l get the concept.
Soon, this person will kamikaze through your roof like before.
All right, I need a gun sight. Anyone take every tape or wire?
Your earrings. Your earrings!
JACK: Take them. BURT: Very good.
BURT: Still don't have a touchhole a.
It has a small hole. Will this work?
Yes.
Armed and dangerous.
-But we have matches? -Burt no.
How do you know?
Well, you're Burt.
L am Damn right.
[Outside blowing]
Damn it! Another Kamikaze ran away!
BURT: Whiskey down the barrel. About that worth trying.
He knows. He is up!
BURT: Open the door.
The door opens!
Yes!
Jodl: Now? BURT: No, wait.
-Now? -Wait for that.
Wait.
Now!
lt works!
JACK: Blew him away! I mean, he blew -
Blow him away!
BURT: That's why we are above from the food chain.
Jodl: Two down, and two to go!
[Heavy pounding]
Reload.
Whiskey.
I will take that arrow. That burden.
That will do it.
JACK: Get off! Go down! There is no! I have an idea.
We will shoot through other skies. Stay down, Burt.
Jodl: What now? JACK: Spread your legs.
Jodl: Excuse me?
l got it. Okay.
-Don't blame me if l lose because - -aim and shoot!
OK!
-What are you doing? -L shot him.
Jodl: Burt. JACK: Burt!
We have to go hunting when.
JACK: Here you go.
JACK: I think he looks angry!
- Sorry, but stupid. Don't sit duck, Burt? -Never consider anything.
He is ready.
BURT: Stand by to fire at my command. Light me!
-Not possible! -I know it!
Prostitutes who are always on the learning curve.
Load.
lncoming!
Lighter. I need a match.
BURT: It will explode! lnto the back room, now!
JACK: Get it here.
JACK: Go, leave! Get it here, Burt!
[Big Bang]
Jodl: Yuck.
JACK: Gosh.
Twenty-three hours, 59 minutes.
The mission is complete.
[Underground Roar]
Damn it! How does he always know where I am?
[Electronic beeping]
Watching. Ultrasonic signal.
Jodl: Burt! Are you okay? BURT: I was caught.
JACK: Burt, it's coming! Get rid of watching!
You're crazy. Get out of here!
JACK: El Blanco, do you want it? Come on, get it, dude!
[Stretching music, roaring]
JACK: Here you go, buddy!
BURT: My Leatherman tool! In my pocket! JACK: Here you go, little friend, now!
Right side, bottom row, third pocket.
Cut the springs where my vest is stuck. -How did you open this?
What is that?
Alright.
[suspenseful music continues]
Come on.
JACK: Jodi, hurry up! Jodl: I'm working on it!
One.
- Get out of here. Go! -Still, Burt!
Jodl: Come on.
BURT: Go!
Allah SWT!
Wow.
Good throws.
l used for the soccer field a little single A until the old rotator cuff starts acting up.
On the occasion that El Blanco came back for seconds...
... Want to get me from this?
[country music is optimistic]
NANCY: Yes.
Can you last for only one minute?
They match your offer.
Well, I'm sorry. It only lives in the Ass-Blaster world.
And I have a daughter to put through school.
I want a car.
BOY: Come on.
Can you hold it for a moment?
Vegas people go even higher.
Should we do it?
Siegfried, Roy, he is yours.
Jodl: Make sure you live behind the rope.
Jodl: Hey. JACK: Hey.
Pressing, Desert Jack? -Well, more like, Car Wash Jack.
l landed the job managing the place was down in Bixby.
The universe provides.
Jodl: Congratulations. JACK: Thank you.
So, I guess you will stick around.
Yes, I like the area. lt has many things to offer.
Hey, listen, I'm breaking in I'm a new rear axle. You want...
... Going to go up a little?
restocking I'm.
Nice clouds out there.
I can see clouds from here.
Yes, but this... Look, these are good people.
Well...
Jodl: Mindy? Can you watch the shop?
[Soft music, sentimental]
lt number.
Older woman.
[Underground Roar]
Buenas Tardes, Senor Blanco.
That's it, just follow the car.
Burt!
Hey, good wheels.
I have been waiting for you, Melvin.
You are a persistent one A little money-dirty.
Come on, Burt. Look around, man. What happen.
I will change it to something. I will build a house for the family.
The smart thing for you to do is cash in now.
-You might want to join me, Melvin. -Why?
It feels safer here.
Jesus Christ, Burt! I think you killed everything.
BURT: I never said that. MEL: God, man, killed him! Blow it up!
What are you waiting for?
BURT: The problem is, for one this reptilians are still alive...
... All of these areas are considered protected.
Do you know, based on article 1472-B of the Endangered Species Act?
In other words, there are no houses, there are condos and no ranchettes.
You're crazy. Okay? These things, men, they will -
They will eat you, Burt. They will get all of you.
We have a new geophone, Graboid obstacles, protection blankets.
The entire city agrees. Between you and El Blanco, they will take it every time.
Adios, Melvin!
Burt! Hey!
Burt!
MEL: [Shouts] Burt! You bastard!
You are fucking bastard!
God! I hate you!
I hate your guts!
You are sorry, sick...
Paranoid..., right wing...
Redneck... psycho!
Damn kicker!
Damn it, Burt!
And I hate that hat!