1
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,335
Why were you suicidal?

2
00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:47,381
[sighs]

3
00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:51,343
It's because going through
very big states in life,

4
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:55,681
but I can go so deep
that I don't see a way out.

5
00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:58,601
-Yes.
-And I am looking for a way to...

6
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:03,981
to get out of my body
or to hate myself or to--

7
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:07,234
[stutters] I can explain the deep
and I don't find a way out.

8
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,737
What makes you hate yourself?

9
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,405
[breathing heavily]

10
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:14,700
Is it the red shoes?

11
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:16,786
-What?
-Is it the red shoes?

12
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,037
[audience laughs]

13
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,747
-No.
-Okay.

14
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,666
Are you sure?
'Cause they're fucking red.

15
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,754
-[chuckling]
-[audience laughing]

16
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,340
Don't you be smiling like that.
You'll fuck everything up.

17
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,300
[chuckles]

18
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:35,846
If you smile like that too much,
you'll wanna stick around.

19
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,934
You've been so hard on yourself.

20
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,436
I love that you have such high standards.

21
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,398
But those aren't high standards.
That's called "perfection."

22
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:50,736
And most people overestimate
what they can do in a year,

23
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:54,532
and they underestimate
what they can do in two or three decades.

24
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,785
And you haven't been around long enough
to have those extra two or three decades,

25
00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,745
so don't fuck it up.

26
00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,288
There's time.

27
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:09,755
And if you give yourself
just a little bit of time...

28
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,009
and if you'll be a little more
loving to yourself...

29
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:19,765
I think you're gonna find
you got a lot to give.

30
00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:21,100
I can fucking feel it.

31
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:25,312
And I know fucking people.
And you know I do.

32
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,523
-[chuckling] That's right.
-Thank you.

33
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:30,234
And I know you right now.

34
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,778
-Can you feel me?
-Yes, I do.

35
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,948
So, you and I are gonna make a deal.

36
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:39,785
I'm gonna show you
what to do to reshape yourself.

37
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,620
That would be nice.

38
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:44,456
And we're gonna make it
so you could enjoy yourself.

39
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,292
Oh, are you sure?

40
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,294
-[Matyas laughs]
-[audience laughing]

41
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,007
Not just when you're jerking off,
other times, too.

42
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:56,719
-[inhales deeply]
-[both chuckle]

43
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:57,803
Yeah.

44
00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,722
How's that?

45
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,892
And what you're gonna do

46
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,311
is you're gonna remember
as long as you live...

47
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,690
that I don't fucking bullshit.

48
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,442
And you've seen it, haven't you?

49
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,818
Yes.

50
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,403
Do I tell the fucking truth?

51
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:18,115
Even when it's painful?
Even when it's not sweet?

52
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,241
Yes.

53
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:20,743
I'm telling you the truth.

54
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:25,205
You've just fucking begun
and you're not gonna fuck it up.

55
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,000
You're gonna take the time
to fully develop

56
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:31,795
and you're gonna find a way
to enjoy a little bit along the way.

57
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,505
[Matyas breathing heavily]

58
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,301
-[sighs]
-There you go.

59
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,136
-Did you feel that?
-Yes.

60
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,138
What was that, that just happened?

61
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,309
What just happened there
when these came down like that?

62
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,144
And you started breathing here, too.

63
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:52,107
Um, start believing you and be open.

64
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,401
Oh... [chuckling] That's it.

65
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,863
[audience cheering]

66
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:32,398
[audience cheering]

67
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,923
[Tony Robbins]
I'm a kid from Azusa, California,

68
00:04:58,007 --> 00:04:59,758
who did not have any fucking certainty,

69
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,261
but I was certain of one thing.

70
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,471
I was not about to grow up
and have a family

71
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,557
that was gonna go through
what I went through.

72
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,185
And so, I constructed
this fucking Tony Robbins guy.

73
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,272
I constructed him.
I created him.

74
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:16,275
He was me but I built this motherfucker.

75
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,485
Our next guest is a number one
bestselling author

76
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,321
whose books and seminars have
helped inspire

77
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,823
more than 50 million people
to transform their lives.

78
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,743
[newsman] He's perhaps best known
for his three decades of work

79
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,202
in the field of self-improvement.

80
00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:29,663
[Larry King] More than four million people
around the world

81
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:31,832
have attended one of his live events.

82
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,418
[Piers Morgan] I was looking at the list
of people that you have helped.

83
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,961
Bill Clinton, Princess Diana,

84
00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,839
Mikhail Gorbachev,
Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela.

85
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,799
These are, like, the icons of my lifetime.

86
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:45,137
[Tony] I would do these incantations
where I would say over and over again,

87
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,140
"I'm fucking unstoppable. I'm fucking--"
And I would just...

88
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,309
I would say that for an hour
while I would go on a run.

89
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:54,605
Till pretty soon, after days of that shit,
what do you think was in my head?

90
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,939
Everyone needs a compelling future.

91
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,566
Everyone needs something to move towards.

92
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,650
If you don't have something
to move towards,

93
00:05:58,734 --> 00:05:59,777
you settle for where things are.

94
00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:02,279
I would get up and I had no money.

95
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,157
Then I'd say,
"God's wealth is circulating in my life.

96
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,285
His wealth flows to me
in avalanches of abundance.

97
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,829
All my needs, desires, and goals

98
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:13,624
are met instantaneously
by infinite intelligence,

99
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,085
for I am one with God,
and God is everything."

100
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,879
Then I'd see God's wealth
in the love, in the friendships,

101
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,799
in the insights, in the ideas,
in the emotion,

102
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,967
in the fucking energy
in my body and my soul,

103
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,762
in my hunger and my desire
to breakthrough and make things happen.

104
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,847
I didn't just say the fucking words.

105
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,599
Every day, work harder on yourself
than anything else.

106
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,936
'Cause if you become more intelligent,
more valuable, more skilled,

107
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,104
you can add more value to other people.

108
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:39,108
I realized if I'm gonna get to
my ultimate destiny, I gotta be smarter.

109
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:43,278
Who am I ultimately wanting to become
or what is the destiny I'm here for?

110
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:46,824
So, I created this thing
called "Date With Destiny."

111
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,660
If I could uncover
what beliefs and values control me,

112
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,995
I could literally redesign me.

113
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,665
I created this motherfucker standing here.

114
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,542
[audience cheering]

115
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:48,093
[coordinator] Three, two, one, go.

116
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,977
[Joe Berlinger] What's the best way
for us to interact with you?

117
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,061
I think we're gonna wanna

118
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,813
-bring our own camera in there, so.
-[John Turbett] Sure.

119
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,691
[Joe] I'll have one camera on Tony
and one camera on the intervention,

120
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,151
but I don't wanna screw up
what you're doing.

121
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,486
The challenge is, a lot of--

122
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:08,280
We never know where he's gonna go
with the interventions.

123
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,157
Tony can be in a great spot
down in the front

124
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,617
where we can nail it with four cameras,

125
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:15,078
or it can be back here, you know,
with a crowd of people around

126
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,748
and we're completely blocked by everyone.

127
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,876
[Joe] How're you feeling about things?

128
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:24,171
[Tony] I feel great. I've been with
so many people over so many decades

129
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,590
in so many different environments.

130
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:30,010
What I love is the uncertainty
of what's gonna happen,

131
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:33,096
but I also have absolute faith
I know it'll unfold in a beautiful way.

132
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,431
[Joe] Do you get nervous?

133
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,225
-Is there, like, stage fright?
-[Tony] No.

134
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,976
[Joe] Is there, like...
Or anything like that?

135
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,811
No, no, there's no stage fright.
[laughing]

136
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:44,691
[Tony] This is gonna be a beautiful
adventure and a journey, and it always is.

137
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,485
Every single one is different.

138
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,487
Every single one
has these extraordinary stories.

139
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,156
Every single one has some crazy moments.

140
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,034
And I'm glad you're just coming
on the journey to check it out.

141
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,932
[John] Test. One, two, check.

142
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,809
One, two.

143
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,436
[Sarah Fosmo] I'm letting the CIS in
in about four minutes.

144
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,479
Four minutes, 11:28.

145
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,148
And he's on the fly in about 15.

146
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,858
We're about ten minutes from doors.

147
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,777
Tony's team is with him at the house,

148
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:32,489
and then we're on this side so we're
in constant texting communication.

149
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,032
He wants to know the energy in the room.

150
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,659
How's the registration process?

151
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,745
What are our numbers?
Are flights delayed? Everything.

152
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:39,913
Go ahead.

153
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,165
[Tony] Okay, so the exercise,

154
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,084
"What's great? What's missing?
Why are you here?"

155
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,253
I use the intervention

156
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,714
-to teach principles in the middle of it.
-100%.

157
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,215
I love that.
That's my favorite way to do it.

158
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,884
That allows me to then circle back
and I'll have them

159
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,721
create their compelling view
of what extraordinary life looks like.

160
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,556
-Yep.
-And that'll open up some shares.

161
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:58,974
And that'll open up
some more interventions,

162
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,183
and we'll be rockin' and rollin'.

163
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,020
[coordinator to audience]
We're super excited to have you!

164
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:06,023
There are quite a few of you,
as you might see.

165
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,734
If I could get everyone who's here
to please stand up,

166
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,570
so we can unblock our exits, get excited.

167
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,739
[crowd cheering]

168
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,368
[Tony] We're gonna leave at 11:30,
so right now it is...

169
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,870
-[assistant 1] It's 11:00 now.
-It's 11:00 even?

170
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:20,954
Yep.

171
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:25,083
So, I can do... [sighs] Yeah, I can do
ten minutes and stop on time.

172
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,755
Fifty-seven degrees, baby. Whoa!

173
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,307
[excited chatter]

174
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,189
[Diane Adcock]
There are so many people there,

175
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,899
and they've been in the room since 11:30.

176
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,861
Timing it so that he walks out
and it's just an utter buildup of energy

177
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,363
is just so important for him.

178
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:59,368
He gets there, walks up on stage,
and just everyone's at a peak.

179
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,787
-[Tony] Okay. Good morning.
-Good morning.

180
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,790
So here's your old one.
And here's the new one.

181
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,125
Mary told me you wanted to
switch these two, so I switched 'em.

182
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,210
-Okay, cool.
-Yeah.

183
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,379
Jay, what do you think
on timing this morning?

184
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,964
-Twenty-five minutes.
-Perfect. [sighs]

185
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,466
-[loud music playing]
-[crowd cheering]

186
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,733
[Joe] What is "Date With Destiny"
from your perspective?

187
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:32,818
[Tony] From my perspective,

188
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,821
it's a place that you go
to uncover who you really are

189
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,698
and what you're really about
at this stage of your life.

190
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,827
[Joe] Who is this program right for?
[Tony] Anybody who's hungry.

191
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,370
Anybody who's looking for more.

192
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,997
[chuckling] If you're not hungry,
it's the absolute wrong program for you.

193
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,583
Don't even think about coming.
You get eaten alive in this environment.

194
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,585
But for somebody that's hungry...

195
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:52,921
[chuckles] I got an experience
for you, baby.

196
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,840
-[loud music playing]
-[crowd cheering]

197
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,303
[Tony] I'm bringing a mirror.
I'm bringing crazy tools.

198
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,471
I mean, I'll be off the charts.

199
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,307
I'll be weird. I'll be bizarre.
I'll seem gross.

200
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,601
I'll use the science of taboo language

201
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:09,563
because words have the power
to pierce the conscious mind.

202
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:13,108
Look, I'll do whatever the eff it takes
to break the pattern,

203
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:15,026
so you can reclaim who you really are.

204
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:20,240
[announcer] Welcome to the stage,
Mr. Anthony Robbins!

205
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,033
[crowd cheering]

206
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:37,924
[singing] ♪ Life will never be the same ♪

207
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,057
Whoa!

208
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,730
Come on, guys!
Come on!

209
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,065
Come on!

210
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,862
Whoa!

211
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:04,034
How're you doing out there,
ladies and gentlemen?

212
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,369
[crowd cheering]

213
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:11,500
Welcome to "Date With Destiny 2014,"
and for some of you, welcome home.

214
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:19,382
Good to see you.

215
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:25,388
Start your morning-- It's afternoon now,
with 12 good morning high-fives, hugs.

216
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,974
Go for it. Introduce yourselves.
Connect.

217
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:36,358
All right, grab a seat.

218
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,530
Thank you for the warm welcome.
What have you gotten yourself into?

219
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:42,614
[chuckles]

220
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,574
[audience cheering]

221
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:48,411
I wanna welcome you here.
First of all, this is my favorite program.

222
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,331
This is my 74th "Date With Destiny"
in 25 years.

223
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,500
It's been amazing.

224
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:57,170
And over those decades, doing this,
literally, all around the world

225
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,421
in virtually every major country.

226
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,508
I've had people from more than
100 countries attend this program.

227
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,301
Uh, what I can tell you right now is

228
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,804
this program is different
than any other program.

229
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,264
And what's different about this program

230
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,432
is not only the depth
of what we're gonna go to.

231
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:13,019
We're gonna get to take a look
at the force that controls

232
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,982
every thought, every feeling
and every emotion of your life.

233
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,985
The beliefs, values, and rules

234
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:23,238
that literally control the way
you think, feel, and behave.

235
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:27,033
We are gonna get emotionally fit
because life is gonna come at you.

236
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,744
This is not some bullshit
"positive-thinking" seminar

237
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,913
where I'm gonna tell you
to start chanting,

238
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:35,125
"There's no weeds, there's no weeds,"
and hope shit isn't there.

239
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,253
This is a place where you and I
prepare for anything.

240
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,505
We look for the weed and we rip it out.

241
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,257
Over the next six days and nights,

242
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,509
we're gonna get to the source
of what controls it all,

243
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:45,594
then you're gonna change it.

244
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,470
And you're not going to do it
the way I tell you to.

245
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,139
Who the hell am I?
I'm not your guru.

246
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,642
I didn't come here to fix you
'cause you're not broken, and I know that.

247
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:56,354
Even if you think you're broken, I'm here
to tell you and show you you're not.

248
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,982
What I want you to know
is if you're gonna have a breakthrough,

249
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,735
when someone says,
"It took ten years to make a change,"

250
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:05,113
what you really find out is
that change happened in a moment.

251
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,449
It took you ten years to get to the moment
where you finally said,

252
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:13,538
"Never again! I quit! Let's begin!
I love you! I do! It's over!"

253
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,791
Our entire life changes in a moment.
Who gets that? Say "aye."

254
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,168
[all] Aye!

255
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:22,339
And I want you to get that what we're
gonna do is have lots of those moments.

256
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,467
And you can have as many as you want.
There's no limit here.

257
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,510
You can break through multiple times.

258
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,180
Guys can even have multiple breakthroughs.
It's an amazing thing.

259
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,306
[audience laughing]

260
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,099
It's truly amazing.

261
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:38,605
By the way, how many of you came here
because there's something significant

262
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:39,940
you really wanna change
in your life right now?

263
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,400
How many came--
'Cause that's a major outcome. Say "aye."

264
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,027
[all] Aye!

265
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:47,781
We're gonna make sure you get that change,
but that's temporary.

266
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:51,785
What we really want to do
is not just solve your problem...

267
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,914
but deal with the thing
that creates it in the first place.

268
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:59,084
That's what's gonna be
mind-boggling in its change.

269
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,711
But for it to work,
we gotta be energy-rich.

270
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,964
And I know you won't always feel that way.
I won't either.

271
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,757
But that's part of the discipline
of someone

272
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,926
who's the best in the world
at what they do.

273
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:11,304
I'm inviting you right now
to make a decision.

274
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:12,806
That for the next six days--

275
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,100
You could do anything
for six days and nights, couldn't you?

276
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:18,687
For the next six days, you play a level
of intensity you've never played before.

277
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:19,771
You push yourself.

278
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:23,733
You use your voice, your body to keep
finding a way to increase that energy.

279
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,402
Because at that energy level,

280
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,656
you'll get totally different insights than
at the one most people live in day-to-day.

281
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,909
And they go,
"I get it. I understand. I do."

282
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:37,122
But if you and I wake up,
we could take back control forever.

283
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,249
You're gonna watch people
stand up in the next few days

284
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,126
and they're gonna reclaim their life.

285
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,711
They're gonna wake up.

286
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,421
And that's where the game gets exciting.

287
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,506
Who knows what I'm talking about here?
Say "aye."

288
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:47,632
-[all] Aye!
-Good.

289
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,884
So now...

290
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:53,430
what's an area that you came here with
that it's time to break through?

291
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,267
What's an area of your life
that is not the way you want it?

292
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,186
Who's got something of that nature?

293
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,730
Yes, ma'am. Give her a hand.

294
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,023
[audience applauding]

295
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,191
Give her a hand!

296
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,110
[audience cheering]

297
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,865
What's your name?
Where're you from?

298
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,700
Sienna.
I'm from Newport Beach, California.

299
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,953
Sienna. Give her a hand.
It's Sienna, ladies and gentlemen.

300
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:21,291
So, Sienna,
what is it you're frustrated with?

301
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,251
What is it that's not
where you want it to be?

302
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,335
Uh, my diet.

303
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,463
Your diet.
And what about your diet?

304
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,590
Um, not that it has to be perfect,

305
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:32,385
but that I know that my body
and my health deserve better.

306
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:35,013
Okay. And better than what?

307
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,557
Like, what are you not doing
that you should be doing?

308
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,976
I'm not eating at the times
of the day I should be...

309
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,312
-that would be most beneficial for me.
-Okay. Okay.

310
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:46,066
And it's making myself lose respect.

311
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:47,817
-Lose respect for yourself?
-Yes.

312
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,862
Okay, and when you lose respect
for yourself, what do you do?

313
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,573
I then eat. [laughs]

314
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,033
It's in a whole fun circle.

315
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,576
-Yes.
-Yeah. [chuckles]

316
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:59,454
And now, question.

317
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,331
What are you doing all this for?

318
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,752
What's life about?

319
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,670
It's about finding love and happiness.

320
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:12,717
Okay, so life is about finding
love and happiness, okay?

321
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:16,471
And what has to happen for you to
hit the target of love and happiness?

322
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,765
[Sienna] Um...

323
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,725
do something kind for others.

324
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:23,269
So you gotta do something kind for others.

325
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:27,941
Do something for myself
that, um, scares me, that's new.

326
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,943
"Do something for myself that scares me."

327
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:34,239
So here's this young lady,
"Life's about love and happiness,

328
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:37,075
I gotta do kind for other people.
I gotta do something that scares me."

329
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:38,868
What else do I need to do?

330
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,622
I need to give love
to those who don't have it.

331
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:45,250
Okay. "I need to give love
to those who don't have it." Fantastic.

332
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,001
What else do I need to do?

333
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,628
I need to receive love.

334
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,588
And what do you have to do
to receive love?

335
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,633
-Do you have to be worthy of it?
-Yes.

336
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:57,554
And what has to happen for you
to be worthy of receiving love?

337
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:02,225
I have to be responsible
for their happiness.

338
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,395
"I have to be responsible
for their happiness."

339
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,355
Now, fortunately, she's only how old?

340
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,982
-Nineteen.
-Nineteen.

341
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:12,277
So she hasn't felt the wear and tear
of a couple decades of that yet.

342
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,280
-[chuckles]
-To wear her into the fucking ground.

343
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,906
-Who knows what I'm talking about here?
-[chuckles]

344
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,366
-Say "aye."
-[all] Aye!

345
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,785
We're seeing her right before
all the fucking shit happens right now.

346
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,830
-Isn't this cool? All right.
-[audience laughing]

347
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,374
Now let's take a look
at something for a moment.

348
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,544
This is where your model of the world
has come from,

349
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,713
the thing that's controlling
all your decisions.

350
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,133
Whose love did you crave
the most growing up?

351
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,593
Your mother or your father?

352
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,053
Not "who did you love more?"
I'm sure you loved them both.

353
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,139
Whose love did you crave more?

354
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:44,434
Truthfully.

355
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:49,647
Since I didn't quite get it,
it was my dad's.

356
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,191
Yes, clearly.

357
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:54,861
Who did you have to be for your father?

358
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,197
First reaction.

359
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,330
My gosh.

360
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,582
Phew.

361
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,336
Now, I'm really on her right now.
She's doing some real honest searching.

362
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,879
-Can you feel that?
-[audience] Yeah.

363
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,965
She didn't like this, you see that?
She liked that whole thing when,

364
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,843
"I know what to say, know what to do,
and I can achieve it all perfectly."

365
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:21,346
This kind of uncertain role,
like, "What the fuck?"

366
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,057
This is the stuff most of us avoid,
and she's not avoiding it.

367
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,725
Give her a hand for that.
That's really awesome.

368
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,769
[audience applauding]

369
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:33,691
Who did you have to be for your father?
First gut reaction.

370
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:36,527
Not what's said, not your intellect,
not your positivity.

371
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:38,738
The fucking truth of what you feel.

372
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,281
Ignorant to his behavior.

373
00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,492
Which behavior
did you have to be ignorant to?

374
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,119
-Drug abuse.
-Drug abuse.

375
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:47,580
And yet you love him, clearly.

376
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,083
Regardless of his behavior,
you love your father? Is that true?

377
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:51,918
Yes.

378
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,212
I don't know. Is it true?
Maybe you don't.

379
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:56,381
I struggle,
but at the end of the day, I do.

380
00:20:56,464 --> 00:21:01,511
Yes. She loves him.
She just hates that she loves him so much.

381
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:05,390
[chuckles]

382
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,017
-Is that true?
-Yes.

383
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,895
So, you craved your father's...

384
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:15,024
'cause, guess why,
rejection breeds obsession.

385
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:17,735
Her daddy didn't reject her,

386
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:19,904
but she didn't get
the level that she want,

387
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,823
so she wants it even more.

388
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,826
-Is that your mother beside you?
-Yes.

389
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,703
-Yes.
-She's the bomb. Love her.

390
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:27,787
Give her the microphone.

391
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,205
What happens when she interacts
with her father?

392
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:31,708
What happens to her state?
What happens to the way she is?

393
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:35,211
Um, she is not afraid
to tell him to go fuck himself.

394
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:38,923
Yes. Did you teach...
Did you teach her how to do that?

395
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:42,051
-[chuckles] I might have. Not knowingly.
-Yes.

396
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:45,888
But, um, I know she craved his love.

397
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:49,225
But she wasn't crawling after it.

398
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:50,852
-[Tony] Oh, I didn't think she was.
-No.

399
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:52,979
Here's the truth.
There's this really sweet girl

400
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,106
whose got a fucking tiger in there.

401
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,649
-Can you feel it?
-[Jane] Yeah. Big time.

402
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,360
She's like the outside...
Oh... [kissing noises] Rawr!

403
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,070
-Yeah.
-[audience laughs]

404
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:05,658
Right? She has that inside,
but showing that's not really appropriate.

405
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,910
By the way,
you did show her how to do that.

406
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,871
-I did. I'm sure, yeah.
-Didn't you?

407
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,998
That's 'cause you had your own fuck-yous
with him, didn't you?

408
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:14,292
-Yes, I did. Many.
-[audience laughing]

409
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,669
And she loves you,
and she saw that and she modeled it.

410
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:21,382
What if I told you that it's possible
that there's a little bit of an imbalance

411
00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:24,552
that she needs to heal
or she will never heal completely?

412
00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:26,971
-I believe that totally.
-Yeah.

413
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:31,142
And then for her to do that,
she'd have to claim not just the fuck-you.

414
00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:34,604
She'd have to reclaim the vulnerability
that she has around him, too.

415
00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:37,732
But if she doesn't do it,

416
00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:40,276
it's gonna show up with pain for her
with men in the future.

417
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,362
-Yeah.
-Your piling it on...

418
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:46,574
might make you feel like
you're owning yourself.

419
00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:49,327
But your piling it on
is just burying the very person

420
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:52,914
whose love you crave
and who desperately needs your acceptance.

421
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:58,127
As much as you've hated him,
he's hated himself more.

422
00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:01,964
-Even if he's never shown it to you.
-[Jane] Mmm-hmm.

423
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:03,674
That's why drugs.

424
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,677
[inaudible] Shit.

425
00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:08,679
-What did you say?
-Shit. [chuckles]

426
00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:10,014
[audience laughs]

427
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:14,435
-That was a good "shit."
-Yeah.

428
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:17,772
What if you called him and told him
all the things you blamed him for

429
00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:19,774
and said, "I need to
have a conversation with you.

430
00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:22,110
I want to tell you,
I blamed you for so much of your life,

431
00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:24,112
but I realized the other day,
I need to make a new list.

432
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:28,116
I blamed you for being addicted
and this and that and all those things,

433
00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:29,200
and things you should've done,

434
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:33,496
but I haven't blamed you
for being the one man that I could love.

435
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:38,793
I haven't blamed you for being
the greatest source of love that I know."

436
00:23:40,378 --> 00:23:45,174
You have to think about all the things
you used to blame him for...

437
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:49,846
and you need to blame him
much more powerfully.

438
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:53,808
You need to blame him
consciously, effectively.

439
00:23:54,809 --> 00:23:57,019
'Cause if you're gonna blame people
for all the shit,

440
00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:58,855
you better blame them
for all the good, too.

441
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:01,524
If you're gonna give them credit
for everything that's fucked up,

442
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:04,110
then you have to give them credit
for everything that's great.

443
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,280
I'm not asking you to stop blaming.

444
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:12,451
I'm saying blame elegantly,
blame intelligently, blame effectively.

445
00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:16,956
Blame at the level of your soul,
not the level of your fucking head.

446
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:22,128
'Cause life is not so simple
and black and white.

447
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:27,341
My mother beat the shit out of me.
She loved me.

448
00:24:27,425 --> 00:24:31,137
She was freaked out I was gonna leave.
I was her source of everything.

449
00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:33,890
I blame her for all the beauty in my life.

450
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,225
I blame her that I have the woman
I have in my life

451
00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:40,438
because I cherish my wife
'cause I know what the opposite is.

452
00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:44,400
I blame her for the capacity
to feel and care.

453
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:49,030
I blame her for my insatiable hunger
to end suffering for any human I can.

454
00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:51,782
'Cause I suffered a ton.

455
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:55,453
If she had been the mother I had wanted,
I would not be the man I am proud to be.

456
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,706
-That's the truth.
-[audience cheering]

457
00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:01,209
It's the truth.

458
00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:06,714
You wanna know what
our biggest problem is in this room?

459
00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:08,799
I'll tell every one of you,
if you're willing to hear me,

460
00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:11,010
what your biggest problem is.

461
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:13,012
You think you shouldn't have them.

462
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,558
'Cause problems are what make us grow.

463
00:25:17,642 --> 00:25:19,769
Problems are what sculpt our soul.

464
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:22,897
Problems are what make us become more.

465
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:28,945
If we can realize that life is always
happening for us, not to us...

466
00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:34,700
game over,
all the pain and suffering disappears.

467
00:25:34,784 --> 00:25:38,204
Your father, your problem, is your gift.

468
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:40,915
He played the role he was meant to play.

469
00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:43,793
If he'd been the perfect father
she wanted,

470
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:46,629
she wouldn't have half the drive she has.
Not a third.

471
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,299
-That would be tragic.
-That would be tragic.

472
00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:51,592
You need to call this motherfucker

473
00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:54,762
and blame him for what
a beautiful daughter he's created.

474
00:25:54,845 --> 00:25:57,139
[audience cheering]

475
00:26:03,688 --> 00:26:06,357
And for you, my dear,
what are you going to do?

476
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,277
I'm going to, hopefully--

477
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:14,532
No, I will have, um, one
of the first peaceful...

478
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:19,161
completely peaceful and loving
conversations I have ever had with him.

479
00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:21,747
Even if it's not peaceful,
it'll bring you peace.

480
00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:22,873
Yes, that's right.

481
00:26:22,957 --> 00:26:25,626
And, also, you can do it more than once.

482
00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:26,752
He'll need it more than once.

483
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:28,629
Otherwise, it'll look like
a fucking technique.

484
00:26:28,713 --> 00:26:31,299
"You went to the fucking seminar
and he told you to make your fucking list,

485
00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:33,426
you came to fucking see me. Fuck you."

486
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:35,594
[audience laughing]

487
00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:38,514
Give these two a giant hand.

488
00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:40,057
[audience cheering]

489
00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:41,851
[music playing]

490
00:26:51,569 --> 00:26:52,695
[Joe] How do you select people?

491
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:55,948
I mean, like, when you're walking
through the crowd, do you vibe it out?

492
00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:58,617
[Tony] It's instinctive. I don't
really know. I mean, sometimes I know.

493
00:26:58,701 --> 00:27:00,536
Sometimes, I'm looking for
something specifically,

494
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:02,913
but today, it's just instinctive things
we're going for.

495
00:27:02,997 --> 00:27:06,625
And then, you know, I feel,
"Where can I take this? Where can it go?"

496
00:27:06,709 --> 00:27:08,878
And the whole thing is... It's a dance.

497
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:12,173
You know, to go from thinking
her problem is dietary,

498
00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:14,008
[chuckles] which is where people are.

499
00:27:14,091 --> 00:27:17,678
They present this low-level stuff
because we engage ourself

500
00:27:17,762 --> 00:27:20,306
with little problems
that we make into big things

501
00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:22,475
so we don't deal
with the bigger ones that scare us,

502
00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:23,976
and so it was a beautiful example of that.

503
00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:25,478
And you got to see that...

504
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:28,939
you know, the pattern she's on right now
is manageable 'cause she's so young,

505
00:27:29,023 --> 00:27:31,359
but the stacking of that,
the friction of that in your life,

506
00:27:31,442 --> 00:27:32,943
long-term, could be totally destructive.

507
00:27:33,027 --> 00:27:35,529
And that started to open up
the world of....

508
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,949
learning to appreciate
all the aspects of other human beings

509
00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:42,787
so you could actually appreciate yourself
which, in the end, makes you human.

510
00:27:43,746 --> 00:27:46,374
There's enough variety,
there's enough entertainment,

511
00:27:46,457 --> 00:27:51,212
there's enough, uh, rawness,
uh, and there's enough energy

512
00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:54,298
that people are engaged 11 hours into it.

513
00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:55,800
[chuckles]

514
00:27:55,883 --> 00:27:58,135
-[dance music playing]
-[audience cheering]

515
00:28:05,768 --> 00:28:08,312
Whoa!

516
00:28:10,815 --> 00:28:12,608
Shake your body out.

517
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,485
Sit down and write down...

518
00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:17,154
What has prevented you from crushing it?

519
00:28:17,238 --> 00:28:20,866
What has prevented you
from living what you dream?

520
00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:25,454
What belief, what behavior,
what emotional habit,

521
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,790
what's prevented you?

522
00:28:27,873 --> 00:28:30,376
What's been getting in the way?

523
00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:35,214
What story?
What's been the conflict inside you?

524
00:28:36,340 --> 00:28:39,635
What's prevented you
from having the life you deserve?

525
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:44,890
What low standard have you tolerated
for this to still be in your life?

526
00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:53,983
[Tony sighs] Right.
Let's talk about tomorrow.

527
00:28:56,569 --> 00:28:59,155
I think day two's got
plenty of emotion in it.

528
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:02,450
The 9/11 story
is a good story for that area.

529
00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:03,784
I like that.

530
00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:06,704
And then, boom.
Then we shift gears into...

531
00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:10,374
you know, what blocks us, pain
and pleasure, and those set of questions.

532
00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:13,961
Problem with the emotion that we want.
Yeah, I like the flow a lot now.

533
00:29:14,044 --> 00:29:15,421
-And--
-[Diane] You can also do--

534
00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:17,256
You did this in Fiji,
but that acceptance exercise,

535
00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:20,009
like, find four things that you can
accept right now. Super quick.

536
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:21,469
Oh, good idea. Good memory. Great idea.

537
00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:22,970
That's another great one to do.

538
00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:26,682
So I really think
the only thing that's left is red flags.

539
00:29:26,766 --> 00:29:28,476
[Jerrica Escoto] Here are a couple.

540
00:29:28,559 --> 00:29:32,605
This woman, she was severely abused,
emotionally and physically, by her father.

541
00:29:32,688 --> 00:29:35,649
Um, she couldn't sit in class
when she was growing up

542
00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:37,943
because often she had
open wounds on her back.

543
00:29:38,027 --> 00:29:41,322
Um, and she feared that her father
would kill her 'cause he owned a gun.

544
00:29:41,405 --> 00:29:43,574
Um, so, in her early 20s,
what she did with that,

545
00:29:43,657 --> 00:29:46,202
because of those experiences,
she volunteered for an organization

546
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,746
that helped severely abused children
who were kept in cages.

547
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:51,123
This is so...
This is horrific what's happened to her,

548
00:29:51,207 --> 00:29:53,959
but she'll be an example,
probably, of a role model.

549
00:29:54,043 --> 00:29:55,252
[Jerrica] Role model. Mmm-hmm.

550
00:29:55,336 --> 00:29:57,004
Of, "Wow, I can be put through this

551
00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:59,381
and I can still find a way
to get outside of myself

552
00:29:59,465 --> 00:30:01,884
by helping others
in a situation that's equally bad

553
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:04,720
or, you know, being kept in a cage,
she might feel is worse."

554
00:30:04,804 --> 00:30:07,431
When I'm really looking for the people
on the red flags, are the ones--

555
00:30:07,515 --> 00:30:09,934
In any group of couple thousand people,
you can't know for sure,

556
00:30:10,017 --> 00:30:11,602
but there's usually a dozen or so people

557
00:30:11,685 --> 00:30:14,480
that are suicidal
or have tried suicide and so forth,

558
00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:17,024
and there's no guarantee
you can protect everybody,

559
00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:19,485
but one of the guarantees
is reading all the forms,

560
00:30:19,568 --> 00:30:22,530
anticipating as much as possible,
and then I assign somebody

561
00:30:22,613 --> 00:30:24,865
to pay attention to those individuals
one-on-one also

562
00:30:24,949 --> 00:30:27,034
to make sure we're supporting them
throughout the process.

563
00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:29,954
[Diane] The one that you had emailed me
about a couple of days ago about--

564
00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:31,497
Oh, yes. Good.
See, that's a red flag.

565
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:33,374
-In the pod, yeah.
-Yeah, well, who is this now?

566
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:36,043
He just tried to commit suicide
a couple days before this email.

567
00:30:36,126 --> 00:30:37,461
[Tony] Yeah, I need his picture,

568
00:30:37,545 --> 00:30:41,298
and, um, I need to make sure
that we put, uh, Jeremy--

569
00:30:41,382 --> 00:30:42,550
Is Gerry McKinney in that group?

570
00:30:42,633 --> 00:30:43,634
[Diane] Yes.
[Jerrica] Yep.

571
00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:45,135
So we'll put Jerry on it.
Jerry will know what to do.

572
00:30:45,219 --> 00:30:46,470
We've worked on this many times together.

573
00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:49,723
I want him feeling supported
in this environment. He could transform.

574
00:30:49,807 --> 00:30:51,100
That... that's a red flag, right?

575
00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:52,226
-[Diane] Yeah.
-That's a red flag.

576
00:30:52,309 --> 00:30:53,811
Okay, this one?

577
00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:23,757
[indistinct chatter]

578
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:28,387
Team 6.
Come on over.

579
00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:30,973
[organizer 1] Come on back in, everybody.
Come on.

580
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:34,018
Come a little closer.
Come a little closer.

581
00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:37,354
Who would like to start to share?

582
00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:39,815
This is day two of "Date With Destiny"

583
00:31:39,899 --> 00:31:43,360
and today is the first day that
all of our participants get into teams.

584
00:31:43,444 --> 00:31:45,988
In that meeting,
they get a preview of the day,

585
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:49,074
they get a chance to talk about their
breakthroughs and what they learned.

586
00:31:49,158 --> 00:31:50,701
[organizer 2] Team 3.

587
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:51,911
[crowd cheering]

588
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,164
Come on in.

589
00:31:55,247 --> 00:32:01,837
All right, now, would you all agree that
Jane and Sienna gave us an amazing gift?

590
00:32:01,921 --> 00:32:03,714
-Yes.
-Yes.

591
00:32:03,797 --> 00:32:06,800
Jane, why don't you come up here?
Come on up, sweetie.

592
00:32:06,884 --> 00:32:09,595
Well, it was completely unexpected.

593
00:32:09,678 --> 00:32:14,183
I didn't realize that Sienna
felt responsible

594
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:18,437
to not ever be really,
really sad around me,

595
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,105
and that broke my heart.

596
00:32:20,189 --> 00:32:22,441
So, I think she's liberated from that.

597
00:32:22,524 --> 00:32:25,611
And yesterday, she called her father.

598
00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,781
-[crowd cheering]
-And...

599
00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:35,037
they had the most beautiful,
healing conversation ever.

600
00:32:37,081 --> 00:32:38,374
[Sienna] Did I show you the text that I...

601
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:40,167
-No. Show me.
-Oh, okay.

602
00:32:43,379 --> 00:32:45,589
So he sent me this.
Oh, he sent me another one.

603
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,052
"Sienna, you will never know
in a thousand lifetimes

604
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:52,554
what that call meant to me.
You are the light of my life

605
00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:56,475
and my love for you has kept me going
through the deepest darkness.

606
00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:58,811
I could not be more blessed
to have you in my life

607
00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:00,437
and will never forget this moment.

608
00:33:00,521 --> 00:33:03,023
I needed that loving call
in such a big way.

609
00:33:03,107 --> 00:33:06,151
Thank you for being my angel, darling.
Dada loves you so much."

610
00:33:06,235 --> 00:33:08,320
And this morning, he said,
"Dada loves you."

611
00:33:08,404 --> 00:33:10,197
Aw.

612
00:33:15,202 --> 00:33:18,539
[Joe] Where does "Date With Destiny"
fit into your world

613
00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:20,457
in terms of who you are as a teacher?

614
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:23,502
You know, what it represents
philosophically for you.

615
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:25,421
[Tony] "Date With Destiny"
is my very favorite event.

616
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:28,590
Just because it covers
the controlling force

617
00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:30,384
that really controls everything.

618
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:32,177
All your thoughts,
all your feelings, all your emotions,

619
00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:35,014
your beliefs and values,
and how quickly that can all shift.

620
00:33:40,019 --> 00:33:42,438
I love that we can do an event
where you really say,

621
00:33:42,563 --> 00:33:46,108
"Hey, I'm gonna stop and decide
what my life's about."

622
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:49,069
Instead of life just taking you,
you take life back.

623
00:33:49,153 --> 00:33:52,823
And I love to see people
when they own themselves again

624
00:33:52,906 --> 00:33:56,410
as opposed to when they're running
a pattern they've run for years.

625
00:33:56,493 --> 00:33:58,829
So, what did you learn
from the first relationship?

626
00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:02,166
In the room, every interaction I'm doing,
I'm not just working with that individual,

627
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,792
I'm a million percent of that individual,

628
00:34:03,876 --> 00:34:05,669
but there's another part
of my consciousness that's saying,

629
00:34:05,753 --> 00:34:09,006
"Now how do I relate this in a way so that
everybody gets value at some level?"

630
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:12,092
And I gotta be able to do that while
I'm talking to a stranger they don't know.

631
00:34:12,176 --> 00:34:14,803
Connection, breakthroughs, truth.

632
00:34:14,887 --> 00:34:17,181
Anything you want to remember
that's valuable,

633
00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:19,308
pull it out of your head right now,
onto the paper.

634
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:21,018
I love the challenge of being able to

635
00:34:21,101 --> 00:34:24,688
sustain it for six days and nights
with people from 71 countries,

636
00:34:24,772 --> 00:34:26,148
and you got people on headsets,

637
00:34:26,231 --> 00:34:27,691
having this being translated
through somebody else

638
00:34:27,775 --> 00:34:29,526
and keeping them completely engaged.

639
00:34:29,610 --> 00:34:34,031
[speaking Spanish]
Did anybody see the movie...

640
00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:36,575
called Mr. Holland's Opus?

641
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:39,745
[speaking Russian]
What is more significant than love?

642
00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:40,871
Nothing.

643
00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:42,456
[Tony in English] To be able to see

644
00:34:42,539 --> 00:34:44,208
all those people
with all those personalities,

645
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:45,876
and all those backgrounds,
and all those differences,

646
00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:48,045
and see them come together as a community

647
00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:50,005
that I've been able to create
in a few days,

648
00:34:50,089 --> 00:34:53,133
where they're willing to support
a total stranger with so much love...

649
00:34:53,217 --> 00:34:54,885
How are you all doing this afternoon?

650
00:34:54,968 --> 00:34:57,471
-[audience cheering]
-That's incredibly gratifying.

651
00:34:57,554 --> 00:35:01,767
[Joe] When you're on stage for ten,
12 hours, how do you maintain your energy?

652
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:04,353
[Tony] There's no net.
I think that's part of the secret.

653
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:06,772
Because that's where
there's a drive inside you

654
00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:08,816
that says, "You have to find the answer."

655
00:35:08,899 --> 00:35:13,153
When I walk out there, and it's me
and some music I can point out,

656
00:35:13,237 --> 00:35:16,698
and all these souls saying,
"What are we gonna do?" [chuckles]

657
00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:19,493
That was the push.
I'm no longer pushed, I'm pulled.

658
00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:20,953
Push will wear you out.

659
00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,872
When you're pushing to do something,
you only got so much willpower.

660
00:35:23,956 --> 00:35:27,292
But when you're pulled, when there's
something larger than yourself

661
00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:30,963
that you're here to serve
and that you believe you're made for,

662
00:35:31,046 --> 00:35:32,131
that brings energy.

663
00:35:32,214 --> 00:35:35,384
And every time another thing transforms,
another soul's touched,

664
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:37,845
I get more energy, more strength,
and I make more distinctions.

665
00:35:37,928 --> 00:35:40,472
And my job is to dominate the problem out

666
00:35:40,556 --> 00:35:43,267
and bring out, within that person,
what's really strong.

667
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:45,602
Tell me about your father.

668
00:35:46,645 --> 00:35:48,647
My father?

669
00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:51,275
My father is the most amazing man
on the planet.

670
00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:55,904
He's loving, self-sacrificing,
playful, sweet.

671
00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:56,989
Just wonderful.

672
00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:59,825
He taught you you're his little princess,
didn't he?

673
00:36:00,576 --> 00:36:01,869
Motherfucker.

674
00:36:01,952 --> 00:36:03,579
-[chuckles]
-[audience laugh]

675
00:36:03,662 --> 00:36:04,663
Excuse me?

676
00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:09,918
[Joe] Tony, sometimes you use
rather extreme language with people.

677
00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:11,170
It's kind of shocking.

678
00:36:12,171 --> 00:36:15,257
[Tony] I use language
in a very direct way.

679
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:17,301
In every culture, there are taboo words.

680
00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:21,013
And when you use them, you're able
to interrupt the noise in people's heads.

681
00:36:21,096 --> 00:36:24,057
I want to provoke people
back into the reality of this moment.

682
00:36:24,141 --> 00:36:25,517
That's how they change.

683
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,228
He meant well.

684
00:36:28,312 --> 00:36:29,605
Look how he fucked up.

685
00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:34,276
He set the bar so high, I don't even know
if it's possible to reach it.

686
00:36:34,359 --> 00:36:35,402
That's right.

687
00:36:35,485 --> 00:36:39,031
He taught you, you didn't have to
do anything to be loved.

688
00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,700
You should have all your needs be met.

689
00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:45,245
He's a beautiful man with a big heart
that fucked you up.

690
00:36:46,622 --> 00:36:48,624
And made you think you were entitled,

691
00:36:48,707 --> 00:36:51,585
and when you're not, you're confused
why it didn't come your way.

692
00:36:52,294 --> 00:36:55,005
Made it so that you could take love away
if you didn't get it

693
00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:58,342
'cause you had no fear of losing it
'cause he always gave it to you.

694
00:36:58,425 --> 00:37:01,053
So, your husband never stood a chance.

695
00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:08,435
Now, what did you do to your ex-husband
that led to that relationship ending?

696
00:37:09,436 --> 00:37:13,190
[Hali] I probably withdrew love from him.

697
00:37:15,609 --> 00:37:17,611
But he hurts me.

698
00:37:17,694 --> 00:37:21,114
-And you hurt him?
-Yeah, I guess I do.

699
00:37:21,198 --> 00:37:24,117
He doesn't seem like he cares though.
It doesn't even seem like it affects him.

700
00:37:24,201 --> 00:37:25,202
Of course he doesn't.

701
00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:29,623
Same strategy you use.
He's just better at it, 'cause he's a man.

702
00:37:29,706 --> 00:37:32,501
He has no one to talk to about it,
so he won't.

703
00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:34,378
He doesn't talk about anything.

704
00:37:34,461 --> 00:37:35,837
He's a man.

705
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,173
-[audience laughing]
-[chuckles]

706
00:37:39,466 --> 00:37:40,676
[Hali laughing]

707
00:37:43,804 --> 00:37:46,515
You're, like, all shocked.
Like, "He doesn't talk."

708
00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:49,935
[stammering] Well, now I have
a relationship with my boyfriend.

709
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:52,854
-He talks about everything.
-Yeah, 'cause you got a feminine guy.

710
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:56,316
It's driving me crazy.
He doesn't stop talking. [laughing]

711
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:57,901
[audience laughing]

712
00:38:00,696 --> 00:38:01,947
[sniffles]

713
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:05,409
Poor guy, I'm so glad he's not here.

714
00:38:06,410 --> 00:38:09,246
I wish he was here.
We could set him free.

715
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:14,167
In fact, maybe that's what
we should do as a first step.

716
00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:16,878
-Get out your phone.
-[audience exclaims]

717
00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:19,548
No. No.

718
00:38:20,549 --> 00:38:23,010
Then it's time to start doing
the right thing,

719
00:38:23,093 --> 00:38:25,012
right when you know it's fucking right.

720
00:38:25,095 --> 00:38:26,763
Not when it's convenient and comfortable

721
00:38:26,847 --> 00:38:28,765
and feels good to you
and you get your brain around it.

722
00:38:28,849 --> 00:38:30,684
Pick up your fucking phone.

723
00:38:31,268 --> 00:38:32,602
[audience clapping]

724
00:38:37,024 --> 00:38:38,025
Stand up.

725
00:38:40,277 --> 00:38:45,032
Now, let me ask you a question.
Let me ask you a question.

726
00:38:45,115 --> 00:38:47,242
Is he the right man for you?

727
00:38:49,286 --> 00:38:50,329
[audience member] No.

728
00:38:51,163 --> 00:38:54,875
[stutters] Does anybody know the answer
looking at her face right now?

729
00:38:56,460 --> 00:38:59,087
-I don't wanna hurt him.
-You already are.

730
00:38:59,171 --> 00:39:02,799
He thinks he has a chance and you know
there's no way in fucking hell.

731
00:39:02,883 --> 00:39:04,176
[sighs]

732
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,803
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Tell me if I'm wrong.

733
00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,307
-Tell me if I'm wrong.
-I can't. You're right.

734
00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:13,101
Is this true,
what I'm asking you to take on?

735
00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:14,186
Yes.

736
00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:16,188
-Is it honest?
-Yes.

737
00:39:16,313 --> 00:39:18,357
-Is it painful?
-Yes.

738
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,442
That's why it needs to be done.

739
00:39:21,026 --> 00:39:24,071
So, you have a chance right now.
I'm not forcing you to do this.

740
00:39:24,154 --> 00:39:26,448
You got to consciously say,
"I want to do this,"

741
00:39:26,531 --> 00:39:29,117
before you ring that phone,
or don't do it.

742
00:39:29,201 --> 00:39:32,079
And when I say I want it
doesn't mean I like it.

743
00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:33,872
I want it because I know it's right.

744
00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:35,207
[sighs]

745
00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:36,458
Not, "Tony made me."

746
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:38,168
'Cause if later on,
you do, "Tony made me,"

747
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:39,252
-and that's gonna--
-He knows.

748
00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:41,171
If that's gonna be the story,
then don't call.

749
00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:43,340
He knows that Tony can't make me.

750
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:45,092
-Good. I know that.
-I know that Tony can't make me.

751
00:39:45,175 --> 00:39:47,552
And I know that, too.
So, all three of us know it now.

752
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,847
-And 2,500 other people. [chuckles]
-Correct.

753
00:39:50,931 --> 00:39:54,101
So now the truth is clear.
Make the fucking call.

754
00:39:54,935 --> 00:39:56,603
[phone ringing]

755
00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:06,530
[Hali's boyfriend on speakerphone]
How you doing?

756
00:40:06,613 --> 00:40:07,781
[Hali] Hey, baby.

757
00:40:07,864 --> 00:40:09,699
You know what? Um...

758
00:40:09,783 --> 00:40:12,536
I've kind of just come
to a serious realization,

759
00:40:12,619 --> 00:40:14,538
and I just felt like I need to tell you.

760
00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:21,128
I think, realistically, I love you so much
that I make excuses

761
00:40:21,211 --> 00:40:26,258
for the fact that we're probably really
not right for each other romantically,

762
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:27,676
and...

763
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,888
I'm sorry, that's not what--
I didn't wanna do that to you.

764
00:40:31,972 --> 00:40:34,850
I can't live like this,
and I don't think you can, either.

765
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:37,102
The role that you're playing
is not who you are.

766
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,271
The role that I'm playing
is not who I wanna be.

767
00:40:39,354 --> 00:40:43,984
And I don't wanna be
some masculine, ball-busting broad.

768
00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:45,986
That's not who I was created to be.

769
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:50,365
If I just keep in the relationship
because I don't wanna lose the good stuff,

770
00:40:50,449 --> 00:40:54,703
it's selfish, and that's the one thing
I don't want to be.

771
00:40:55,829 --> 00:40:56,997
Baby, I love you.

772
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,415
I'm not gonna pretend it never happened.

773
00:40:58,498 --> 00:41:00,417
I'm just trying to be honest
while I have the courage.

774
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:03,378
Babe, please don't do that.
Please don't do that.

775
00:41:03,462 --> 00:41:04,463
-I just wanted--
-[hangs up]

776
00:41:09,259 --> 00:41:11,303
[audience cheering]

777
00:41:12,888 --> 00:41:14,723
[music playing]

778
00:41:21,730 --> 00:41:24,858
[Joe] Are you ever concerned about
giving the wrong piece of advice?

779
00:41:24,941 --> 00:41:26,359
I mean, you're doing it on the spot.

780
00:41:26,443 --> 00:41:29,738
[Tony] But I'm not doing what I want.
I'm not doing what I think is right.

781
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:33,742
If you watch what I do,
I watch what their body tells me is right.

782
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,076
You know what's true,

783
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,537
because when it's true,
their whole nervous system responds.

784
00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:39,498
And so, I'm looking for what's real,

785
00:41:39,581 --> 00:41:43,835
and when I find it, I take that bait
and take it all the way to the soul.

786
00:41:43,919 --> 00:41:46,796
I'm not a surface guy.
I can't stand living on the surface.

787
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:48,798
I think that's why
people are so unfulfilled today.

788
00:41:48,882 --> 00:41:50,217
People text instead of communicate,

789
00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:52,385
people think their Facebook friends
are their friends.

790
00:41:52,469 --> 00:41:55,764
I mean, some of them may be your friends,
but depth is what people are missing.

791
00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:57,265
So, I like taking people deep.

792
00:41:57,349 --> 00:42:00,727
And when you take people deep,
everybody's riveted 'cause it's so rare.

793
00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:07,817
Stand back up, please,
if you would.

794
00:42:09,027 --> 00:42:12,656
Why are they standing looking at you?
What did you see in their eyes?

795
00:42:12,739 --> 00:42:13,740
Love.

796
00:42:15,325 --> 00:42:17,536
-You felt it, right?
-[audience cheering]

797
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,919
From what kind of person
did you feel love?

798
00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:28,171
-[sniffles] Every kind.
-Yes.

799
00:42:28,255 --> 00:42:30,882
How do we get love
from every kind of person

800
00:42:30,966 --> 00:42:32,759
and people we don't even know?

801
00:42:32,842 --> 00:42:35,011
[sniffles] We do the right thing?

802
00:42:35,095 --> 00:42:37,389
[audience cheering]

803
00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:45,689
I can't believe I did that.

804
00:42:45,772 --> 00:42:49,818
This level of authenticity
will lead to a rich life.

805
00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:53,113
This woman will face challenges and
she will figure them out and solve them,

806
00:42:53,196 --> 00:42:55,073
and she'll make mistakes
and she'll clean them up.

807
00:42:55,156 --> 00:42:56,783
This woman right here

808
00:42:56,866 --> 00:43:00,829
can have life the way she wants it,
the way she deserves it.

809
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,998
-[audience cheering]
-[music playing]

810
00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:38,408
[dog barking]

811
00:43:42,746 --> 00:43:46,499
[instructor] All right. Come on down here
and let's use "moom." M-O-O-M.

812
00:43:46,583 --> 00:43:48,835
And we're gonna keep
that low larynx sound.

813
00:43:48,918 --> 00:43:51,630
[Tony sing-song] Moom, moom, moom, moom,
moom, moom, moom, moom, moom.

814
00:43:52,631 --> 00:43:55,508
Moom, moom, moom, moom, moom,
moom, moom, moom, moom, moom.

815
00:43:55,592 --> 00:43:56,593
[instructor] Way to go.

816
00:43:57,969 --> 00:44:02,599
Moom, moom, moom, moom, moom,
moom, moom, moom, moom, moom.

817
00:44:03,516 --> 00:44:07,354
I think most of us are unaware of the
patterns that are really controlling us.

818
00:44:07,437 --> 00:44:11,691
[Tony sing-song] Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh,
neh, neh, neh, neh, neh.

819
00:44:11,775 --> 00:44:12,859
You gotta know, precisely,

820
00:44:12,942 --> 00:44:14,486
what do you really want
at this stage of your life?

821
00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:15,695
What do you need?

822
00:44:15,779 --> 00:44:17,906
You know, what are the triggers for you
that make you crazy,

823
00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:19,282
and are they worth letting go of?

824
00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:24,579
[sing-song] No, no... no, no, no.

825
00:44:24,663 --> 00:44:26,414
It's deciding, just like building muscle,

826
00:44:26,498 --> 00:44:30,043
that you're gonna sculpt yourself
into what you are capable of being

827
00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:32,379
as opposed to whatever
life and circumstance

828
00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:34,881
has provided you the opportunity
to show up as.

829
00:44:37,133 --> 00:44:38,259
We all get what we tolerate.

830
00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:40,929
And this is a program about saying,
"I'm gonna decide what I want.

831
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,473
I'm not gonna tolerate
anything inside myself

832
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:45,767
that's less than I can be
or do or share or give."

833
00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:04,619
[Tad Schinke] So, just to kind of set
a frame here, this is a red flag review.

834
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:08,665
And this is an opportunity for us
to get an understanding of some people

835
00:45:08,748 --> 00:45:12,043
that may need special assistance
during the course of the program.

836
00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:15,588
What we want is just the team number,

837
00:45:15,672 --> 00:45:17,799
what the key issues are,

838
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:21,136
and, you know, what your plan is
for dealing with them.

839
00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:22,887
So, who'd like to go first?

840
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:24,681
-We'll go first.
-Yes.

841
00:45:24,764 --> 00:45:29,894
The issue is childhood beatings
at ages three and four.

842
00:45:29,978 --> 00:45:32,063
Father finally abandoned him.

843
00:45:32,147 --> 00:45:35,400
The plan is to possibly change
personal history,

844
00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:38,027
collapse some anchors potentially,

845
00:45:38,111 --> 00:45:40,864
and definitely check in
and make sure he's aware of the triad.

846
00:45:42,073 --> 00:45:44,742
Who, uh, who's next? Yes.

847
00:45:44,826 --> 00:45:47,370
[staff member 1] Team 29. We have several.

848
00:45:47,454 --> 00:45:48,621
The first participant,

849
00:45:48,705 --> 00:45:53,668
he was in a motorcycle accident
and sustained some brain injuries.

850
00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:55,587
He's permanently disabled.

851
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,297
So, the first thing we're gonna do
is make sure

852
00:45:57,380 --> 00:46:01,509
that he's processing and understanding
everything that he's getting in the room.

853
00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:06,264
She is dealing with autoimmune disease.
Constant pain.

854
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:08,224
Our group has three of us

855
00:46:08,308 --> 00:46:12,145
who have made major changes in our life
to help us with health issues.

856
00:46:12,228 --> 00:46:16,274
So, that will give her, uh, knowledge
that she's in the right place.

857
00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:18,401
Mother was murdered by stepfather.

858
00:46:18,485 --> 00:46:23,990
One of the children was forced by an adult
to abuse his sister.

859
00:46:24,073 --> 00:46:28,244
[staff member 2] They were held hostage
for three days in a terrorist attack.

860
00:46:28,328 --> 00:46:32,415
[staff member 3] Um, at age six, she had
sexual abuse from a close family member.

861
00:46:32,499 --> 00:46:35,043
Age 11, physical abuse from her father.

862
00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:40,048
And at age 17, her closest brother
was killed in a motorcycle accident.

863
00:46:41,049 --> 00:46:42,675
[Tad] One thing that can sometimes happen

864
00:46:42,759 --> 00:46:45,261
when we go through the special care review

865
00:46:45,345 --> 00:46:48,848
is people can focus on
these... these negative events

866
00:46:48,932 --> 00:46:50,642
that have happened in people's lives.

867
00:46:50,725 --> 00:46:52,852
What I would suggest we might focus on

868
00:46:52,936 --> 00:46:56,564
is the impact that we're
going to be able to make.

869
00:46:56,648 --> 00:46:59,025
The events are really irrelevant.

870
00:46:59,108 --> 00:47:02,111
I mean, they're important.
They're what's happened to people.

871
00:47:02,195 --> 00:47:05,073
But if we focus
on what we're gonna be able to do,

872
00:47:05,156 --> 00:47:06,741
how we're gonna be able to help them,

873
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:11,663
it's gonna put us in a state that's gonna
allow us to show up at our absolute best.

874
00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:14,999
If we focus on, you know, the trauma
that people have gone through,

875
00:47:15,083 --> 00:47:16,501
that's probably not gonna happen.

876
00:47:16,584 --> 00:47:18,920
-Yes? Awesome.
-[audience] Yes.

877
00:47:24,425 --> 00:47:26,594
I've been harassing them
for a second wheel.

878
00:47:26,678 --> 00:47:27,804
We're ready for you.

879
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:30,223
Oh, I got a sense of urgency
coming out of your voice.

880
00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:33,101
We're ready. I've got Tad right here.
I think we should walk and talk.

881
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:36,896
What you got?

882
00:47:36,980 --> 00:47:39,899
[Tad] Uh, this is the one
that we'd given you originally.

883
00:47:39,983 --> 00:47:41,025
-No.
-[Tony] Don't worry about it.

884
00:47:41,109 --> 00:47:43,361
-Okay.
-Total attention-getter.

885
00:47:43,444 --> 00:47:44,862
Um, and I think this is--

886
00:47:44,946 --> 00:47:47,740
I wanna know what she looks like
'cause I'm not gonna waste time with her.

887
00:47:47,824 --> 00:47:50,243
-Okay. Okay.
-Everything she does is to get attention.

888
00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:52,620
[Tad] And this was one,
it's on, uh, Team 1.

889
00:47:52,704 --> 00:47:55,915
-Suicidal, drugs, uh...
-[Tony] Alcoholic.

890
00:47:55,999 --> 00:47:57,000
-Yeah.
-[Tony] Yep.

891
00:47:57,083 --> 00:47:59,919
Well, pot as well, I think. Um...

892
00:48:00,003 --> 00:48:01,170
-[Tony] I read it.
-Okay.

893
00:48:01,254 --> 00:48:02,338
-[stuttering] And I'll--
-I know.

894
00:48:02,422 --> 00:48:03,423
-How many songs?
-[Sarah] Song four.

895
00:48:03,506 --> 00:48:04,841
[Tony] Okay, I gotta go.
[Sarah] One minute-30.

896
00:48:04,924 --> 00:48:06,009
They're ready for you.
They're ready.

897
00:48:07,260 --> 00:48:09,178
What I'm gonna do is,
rather than pick somebody,

898
00:48:09,262 --> 00:48:10,847
I'm just gonna go all through them
and see what's there.

899
00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:12,056
-Yeah.
-All right, we'll go from there.

900
00:48:13,516 --> 00:48:15,727
[Joe] Where does this mission
of yours come from?

901
00:48:16,352 --> 00:48:19,564
[Tony] Initially, it was pain that
I wanted to end for myself and others.

902
00:48:19,647 --> 00:48:21,566
I think that's what started it.

903
00:48:21,649 --> 00:48:23,026
[Joe] Tell me about the pain.

904
00:48:23,109 --> 00:48:26,029
What were those sources of pain,
and how did you harness them?

905
00:48:26,112 --> 00:48:31,284
[Tony] Just the core of it
is a great mother who loved me,

906
00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:34,370
but was unstable in her own life.

907
00:48:34,454 --> 00:48:39,250
In the beginning, I think I linked
to it all, uh... that was just my mom.

908
00:48:39,334 --> 00:48:42,920
I didn't realize that she was an alcoholic
and addicted to pain medications,

909
00:48:43,004 --> 00:48:45,423
because that's all I'd ever known.

910
00:48:48,551 --> 00:48:50,553
I had to be the person who did everything

911
00:48:50,637 --> 00:48:52,847
'cause my mother
wouldn't go out of the house.

912
00:48:53,848 --> 00:48:56,934
I had to go to the pharmacist and
convince him to give me more Valium

913
00:48:57,060 --> 00:48:59,103
'cause she lost her bottle of Valium,

914
00:48:59,187 --> 00:49:03,191
never even thinking that she was just
taking more and more of the stuff.

915
00:49:03,274 --> 00:49:05,943
And she developed a dependency upon me.

916
00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,863
When I was going off to college,

917
00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:11,032
she did everything she could
to kind of stop that.

918
00:49:11,115 --> 00:49:12,283
Not 'cause she didn't want me
to go to college,

919
00:49:12,367 --> 00:49:14,118
but she didn't wanna lose me.

920
00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:18,247
So, she got more violent,
and, uh, she's only 5'1",

921
00:49:18,331 --> 00:49:21,417
but she would come down, grab my hair,
and smash me against the wall,

922
00:49:21,501 --> 00:49:23,211
or she'd tell me
I was lying about something,

923
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:26,589
pour liquid soap down my throat
till I threw up, just some crazy shit.

924
00:49:29,092 --> 00:49:33,054
But I don't wanna malign her because
I wouldn't be who I am without my mom.

925
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,307
It made me become
a practical psychologist.

926
00:49:36,391 --> 00:49:38,768
I mean, I had to figure out
how to keep her stable,

927
00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:42,397
how to make sure my brother and sister
weren't affected by it, how to please her.

928
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,441
It made me a pleaser
in the early part of my life, for sure.

929
00:49:45,525 --> 00:49:46,526
And I think--

930
00:49:46,609 --> 00:49:48,319
I don't know, it... it...

931
00:49:50,321 --> 00:49:53,825
It produced in me... drive

932
00:49:53,908 --> 00:49:55,993
because I had to find a way

933
00:49:56,077 --> 00:49:58,287
to have a life that wasn't gonna
be like that for my family.

934
00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:01,374
Now, here's what we're gonna do.

935
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:04,168
Raise your hand
if you're really fucked up.

936
00:50:07,338 --> 00:50:11,008
Okay, one really fucked up,
two really fucked up...

937
00:50:12,260 --> 00:50:14,637
So many fucked up choices.

938
00:50:14,721 --> 00:50:17,140
No, now I know who I'm not gonna call on.

939
00:50:17,223 --> 00:50:19,642
All the people that want attention.
No, you're all fucking dead.

940
00:50:19,726 --> 00:50:21,519
Now I know who you are, none of you.

941
00:50:21,602 --> 00:50:27,525
I'd really like to, sincerely,
bring somebody up who is suicidal.

942
00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:31,946
And I know you're out there simply because
in a room of 2,500 people, on average,

943
00:50:32,029 --> 00:50:34,323
there's 12 people that are suicidal.

944
00:50:34,407 --> 00:50:37,452
So now would be the chance
for you to handle this shit,

945
00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:39,245
so you don't have
to live with that anymore.

946
00:50:39,328 --> 00:50:42,081
So, if you're suicidal, stand up.

947
00:50:46,252 --> 00:50:49,839
Okay, give these people a hand,
they're suicidal, for God sakes.

948
00:50:49,922 --> 00:50:52,175
[audience cheering]

949
00:50:54,427 --> 00:50:55,428
Hi.

950
00:50:57,263 --> 00:50:59,098
What's your name?

951
00:50:59,182 --> 00:51:00,183
Um, Dawn.

952
00:51:00,266 --> 00:51:03,352
You're just checking your name tag
to know whether it was Dawn or not?

953
00:51:03,436 --> 00:51:04,937
'Cause in Brazil, they call me Sol.

954
00:51:05,021 --> 00:51:07,565
Oh, really? What does it mean, Sol?

955
00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,817
-Sun.
-Sun.

956
00:51:09,901 --> 00:51:12,653
What's a sun that wants to kill itself?

957
00:51:12,737 --> 00:51:15,907
Well, actually I'm a sun
for everyone else.

958
00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,492
-I see.
-[sobbing] But...

959
00:51:18,826 --> 00:51:22,997
no one really knows,
really, what's inside me. [sniffles]

960
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:27,627
And when I came here, I said,
"I'm not gonna fake it anymore."

961
00:51:27,710 --> 00:51:30,713
Good. You know
I wouldn't accept that anyway.

962
00:51:30,797 --> 00:51:33,800
So, tell me, what's going on in there?

963
00:51:35,426 --> 00:51:37,678
Well... [exhales]

964
00:51:37,762 --> 00:51:39,430
I'm just...

965
00:51:39,514 --> 00:51:44,477
I'm tired of having so much pain
and carrying it for so many years.

966
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,062
-How old are you?
-Twenty-six.

967
00:51:46,145 --> 00:51:47,146
Oh, give me a break.

968
00:51:47,230 --> 00:51:49,982
You could take another 30 years
of this shit.

969
00:51:50,066 --> 00:51:52,568
You're not that fucking weak.
Don't tell me that shit.

970
00:51:52,652 --> 00:51:54,570
I don't want you to,
but you sure as hell could.

971
00:51:54,654 --> 00:51:56,989
Don't lie to fucking me.
You and I are gonna have some truth.

972
00:51:57,073 --> 00:51:59,617
If you're gonna tell me what's really
going on, we're gonna have truth.

973
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:01,369
-Is that fair?
-Yeah, you wanna hear it?

974
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:03,830
-Yes, I wanna hear it. Tell me.
-Okay.

975
00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:07,750
I was born in a community called
the Children of God.

976
00:52:07,834 --> 00:52:09,460
[sobbing] I don't know
if you ever heard of it.

977
00:52:09,544 --> 00:52:15,758
But as we're born, we never had a chance
to choose who we wanted to be.

978
00:52:15,842 --> 00:52:17,093
We were kids growing up

979
00:52:17,176 --> 00:52:21,639
and we had to be children...
soldiers of God.

980
00:52:21,722 --> 00:52:24,851
And they believed that love,
God's love, was sex.

981
00:52:24,934 --> 00:52:27,979
So everyone had to give
their love through sex,

982
00:52:28,062 --> 00:52:30,898
so everyone,
since we were six years old,

983
00:52:30,982 --> 00:52:35,778
to give God's love,
you had to have sex with people,

984
00:52:35,862 --> 00:52:41,492
and see your mother and your brothers...
everyone being abused.

985
00:52:41,576 --> 00:52:43,160
And you grow up...

986
00:52:43,661 --> 00:52:48,249
already knowing
that you don't have a life.

987
00:52:48,332 --> 00:52:51,377
You have to be a vessel of "God's love,"

988
00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:55,882
and you can't...
you can't have any own choices.

989
00:52:55,965 --> 00:53:01,512
So, as the time passed, when I was 12,
I said, "I cannot handle this."

990
00:53:01,596 --> 00:53:05,516
I believe that there's love,
and this is not it.

991
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:11,856
I haven't found one model that
I can look at and say, "That is real."

992
00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:14,984
So, I had my own vision of God,

993
00:53:15,067 --> 00:53:21,324
even though I was grown up
with visions of a totally disgusting God,

994
00:53:21,407 --> 00:53:25,661
a Jesus that wanted to fuck you, that
wanted to do horrible things with you.

995
00:53:25,745 --> 00:53:30,041
But I said, "I believe in something else
even if I never saw it."

996
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:31,375
[Dawn sighs]

997
00:53:31,459 --> 00:53:34,337
But then, I've been trying
to construct myself,

998
00:53:34,420 --> 00:53:37,423
but when I see all of my family,

999
00:53:37,506 --> 00:53:41,177
like, they're all depressed,
they all wanna kill themselves.

1000
00:53:41,260 --> 00:53:46,349
My brother's a huge mess.
My mom is a huge mess.

1001
00:53:46,432 --> 00:53:48,976
And, like, they would never believe
if I stand up--

1002
00:53:49,060 --> 00:53:50,061
"She's suicidal? No."

1003
00:53:50,144 --> 00:53:52,355
I'm the one that takes care of everybody.

1004
00:53:53,272 --> 00:53:54,732
And I'm always there, positive,

1005
00:53:54,815 --> 00:53:58,444
and I'm always there trying to do
everything to help them and to coach them,

1006
00:53:58,527 --> 00:54:00,071
and say,
"No, everything's gonna be okay,"

1007
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:02,823
and I'm like the solution-maker
in my family.

1008
00:54:03,574 --> 00:54:07,954
But I just came to a point that
I don't know what to do with so much pain,

1009
00:54:08,037 --> 00:54:09,163
and I don't know...

1010
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:14,210
I'm 26 and I've never had a relationship.
I don't know what love is.

1011
00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:17,254
One of my friends said,

1012
00:54:17,338 --> 00:54:21,759
"I know a guy called Tony.
He's a great guy." [chuckles]

1013
00:54:22,551 --> 00:54:24,428
[audience laughing]

1014
00:54:24,512 --> 00:54:26,472
-[Tony chuckling]
-[audience cheering]

1015
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,059
Oh, my... Oh, my...

1016
00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:32,353
[Dawn crying]

1017
00:54:32,436 --> 00:54:33,813
[audience clapping]

1018
00:54:42,405 --> 00:54:44,198
[Dawn sobbing softly]

1019
00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:50,329
A miracle.

1020
00:54:50,413 --> 00:54:52,331
You're truly a miracle.

1021
00:54:52,415 --> 00:54:53,791
To have made it through that

1022
00:54:53,874 --> 00:54:57,920
and be here in this moment,
you're a miracle to everyone in this room.

1023
00:55:01,007 --> 00:55:02,967
And that's one thing I know.

1024
00:55:05,970 --> 00:55:10,808
Out of insane... insanity,
out of pain, [sniffles]

1025
00:55:10,891 --> 00:55:13,394
out of injustice...

1026
00:55:13,477 --> 00:55:17,356
You've not been through pain.
You've been through spiritual pain.

1027
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:21,235
It's beyond what most people
could ever imagine in their lives.

1028
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,446
You haven't deserved any of it.

1029
00:55:24,613 --> 00:55:27,116
[sniffles] But out of that...

1030
00:55:28,409 --> 00:55:31,245
comes unbelievable fucking strength.

1031
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:33,122
And you're tired of being strong...

1032
00:55:34,123 --> 00:55:36,125
but you still are.

1033
00:55:36,625 --> 00:55:38,669
You've been trying
to make sense of all this.

1034
00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:42,840
And there is no sense.

1035
00:55:43,883 --> 00:55:46,052
And that's made you the most crazy.

1036
00:55:46,135 --> 00:55:49,013
But how there's gonna be sense
in this is...

1037
00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:53,517
you are gonna make sure
that this stops with you.

1038
00:55:54,643 --> 00:55:55,936
With you, it stops.

1039
00:55:56,020 --> 00:55:58,439
And love begins, real love begins.

1040
00:55:58,522 --> 00:56:01,984
And that love
is all you really are made of.

1041
00:56:02,068 --> 00:56:03,486
That's why you made it through it.

1042
00:56:03,569 --> 00:56:05,071
You are the purest.

1043
00:56:05,154 --> 00:56:09,075
You wanna know what love is,
it's called you.

1044
00:56:09,158 --> 00:56:12,828
You made it through all that shit
with pure love, that's what it is.

1045
00:56:13,829 --> 00:56:15,539
-[audience cheering]
-Pure love.

1046
00:56:15,623 --> 00:56:18,042
Your love is... You're incredible.

1047
00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:19,543
You're incredible.

1048
00:56:20,461 --> 00:56:21,670
[sighs]

1049
00:56:24,173 --> 00:56:25,466
I love you.

1050
00:56:25,549 --> 00:56:28,969
I love you. I don't want you.
I love you.

1051
00:56:33,974 --> 00:56:37,394
I'm able to do what I do
because of all I've been through.

1052
00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:39,605
And I don't talk about
and go into details of it

1053
00:56:39,688 --> 00:56:42,108
'cause why go through the story?

1054
00:56:42,191 --> 00:56:43,901
But there's no way I would care this much

1055
00:56:43,984 --> 00:56:48,656
unless I've felt feelings [sniffling]
that are similar to your own.

1056
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:52,451
And what I can tell you is...

1057
00:56:52,535 --> 00:56:56,914
because I've been through that,
I have fucking muscle and strength.

1058
00:56:56,997 --> 00:56:59,500
I have a spiritual strength in me
just like you do,

1059
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:01,752
and because of that, I can reach anyone.

1060
00:57:01,836 --> 00:57:04,839
I've gone to the darkest, scariest places,
[sniffles]

1061
00:57:04,922 --> 00:57:08,175
and because of that,
I can lift people to the highest places.

1062
00:57:08,259 --> 00:57:10,052
And you have that gift.

1063
00:57:10,136 --> 00:57:14,014
And that gift is being born today,
right fucking now,

1064
00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:15,641
with some new choices
of what's gonna happen.

1065
00:57:15,724 --> 00:57:17,643
That's what's happening right now.

1066
00:57:17,726 --> 00:57:19,311
[audience cheering]

1067
00:57:20,229 --> 00:57:22,148
[Tony sniffling]

1068
00:57:22,231 --> 00:57:25,109
You were put in a situation
where you weren't able to choose.

1069
00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:27,611
Now you're in the position
where you choose.

1070
00:57:27,695 --> 00:57:30,239
You take all the power back today.

1071
00:57:30,322 --> 00:57:32,825
You consciously decide.

1072
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:35,828
And here's the cool thing.

1073
00:57:35,911 --> 00:57:39,290
You've already fucking decided.
You just looked for the moment.

1074
00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:41,917
And I know you wanted a place
that was safe.

1075
00:57:42,001 --> 00:57:43,961
And I know you want a place
where there'd be love,

1076
00:57:44,044 --> 00:57:46,338
and you picked the right place.

1077
00:57:46,422 --> 00:57:48,382
[audience cheering]

1078
00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:55,681
Do me a favor.
Step up on your chair so you can see.

1079
00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:57,725
And I want-- I want you...

1080
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:07,735
Really look.
Take it in.

1081
00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:10,237
Look at the...
Look at the number of people.

1082
00:58:16,118 --> 00:58:17,661
Really look.

1083
00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:22,333
Stop and grab as many gazes as you can.

1084
00:58:26,337 --> 00:58:29,173
There's men out there
that are just sending you love,

1085
00:58:29,256 --> 00:58:32,009
and that's all they want,
is to send you love.

1086
00:58:32,092 --> 00:58:34,845
Just find a few of them that,
when you look in their eyes,

1087
00:58:34,929 --> 00:58:38,265
you know that they're not only safe,

1088
00:58:38,349 --> 00:58:43,103
but they really are sending you love
and there's no agenda.

1089
00:58:44,563 --> 00:58:46,857
I have a hard time believing in that.

1090
00:58:46,941 --> 00:58:48,484
I know, but I want you
to look in their eyes

1091
00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:51,278
and find the three that you know is true.

1092
00:58:51,362 --> 00:58:52,821
[sighs]

1093
00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:55,616
-[chuckles] Him.
-Him?

1094
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,368
Okay, there's one.

1095
00:59:00,287 --> 00:59:02,748
[audience cheering]

1096
00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:06,669
-Him? [chuckles]
-[chuckles]

1097
00:59:06,752 --> 00:59:10,464
Stand up. There he is.
Here's another one right here.

1098
00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:12,508
He was--

1099
00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:13,926
He was sweet with me

1100
00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:16,470
even though I had a horrible face
and was sitting down here,

1101
00:59:16,554 --> 00:59:18,889
and everyone was thinking,
"That girl is in a really bad mood,

1102
00:59:18,973 --> 00:59:20,266
she's not interacting,"

1103
00:59:20,349 --> 00:59:23,143
and he was there
talking to me and being sweet.

1104
00:59:23,227 --> 00:59:26,021
-Yes. He's sincere isn't he?
-Yeah.

1105
00:59:26,105 --> 00:59:27,439
I need one more.

1106
00:59:29,358 --> 00:59:30,359
Him.

1107
00:59:31,151 --> 00:59:33,988
-Come on up here.
-[audience cheering]

1108
00:59:57,303 --> 01:00:01,015
So I'm gonna ask if you, you and you

1109
01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:04,143
will become her new uncles,

1110
01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:08,230
the ones that she can trust
for the next ten years of her life.

1111
01:00:19,116 --> 01:00:21,243
And the form of that is really simple.

1112
01:00:21,327 --> 01:00:22,703
For the next six months,

1113
01:00:22,786 --> 01:00:26,832
you connect to her at least once a month
for a few minutes.

1114
01:00:26,915 --> 01:00:29,877
Just see how she's doing,
be there for her, support her,

1115
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,005
and give her anything that you're capable
of doing that she asks.

1116
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:34,923
And better yet, if you're a great uncle,

1117
01:00:35,007 --> 01:00:39,178
you anticipate what she might need
and you deliver it before she asks.

1118
01:00:39,261 --> 01:00:40,971
The value for you in this transaction--

1119
01:00:41,055 --> 01:00:45,434
And I need to tell you 'cause
you were pulled here, you were chosen.

1120
01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:46,935
You chose yourself.

1121
01:00:47,478 --> 01:00:51,565
And something inside of you was pulled
to let her know how loved she is.

1122
01:00:51,649 --> 01:00:53,442
And this is what you were made for.

1123
01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:57,237
You were made to love unconditionally.

1124
01:00:58,364 --> 01:00:59,865
And the more we do...

1125
01:01:01,450 --> 01:01:05,496
the more we experience
the "human" in humanity.

1126
01:01:06,497 --> 01:01:08,999
We experience our true nature...

1127
01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:14,588
and we feel deeply alive.

1128
01:01:16,048 --> 01:01:17,758
So here's what we're gonna do.

1129
01:01:18,467 --> 01:01:19,968
If you want...

1130
01:01:21,178 --> 01:01:22,429
I have a partner,

1131
01:01:22,513 --> 01:01:25,599
and she's considered one of the greatest

1132
01:01:25,683 --> 01:01:28,686
family therapists,
strategists in the world,

1133
01:01:28,769 --> 01:01:31,105
and her name is Cloé Madanes.

1134
01:01:31,188 --> 01:01:34,316
And what I'm gonna do with you,
if you want,

1135
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,276
is I'm gonna put you
through that training

1136
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:40,239
so that you have every talent I have
to be able to help anyone.

1137
01:01:40,322 --> 01:01:42,199
[audience cheering]

1138
01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:44,618
Okay? Now, are you up for that?

1139
01:01:44,702 --> 01:01:45,828
Yes.

1140
01:01:45,911 --> 01:01:47,621
-Okay?
-Yes.

1141
01:01:47,705 --> 01:01:50,416
You'll learn the principles
behind what I do.

1142
01:01:50,499 --> 01:01:55,087
You won't be a copy of me.
You'll be you, which'll be more powerful.

1143
01:01:55,921 --> 01:02:00,259
And you have a life experience
on top of the skill, you have a caring.

1144
01:02:00,342 --> 01:02:03,220
My power is my caring.
My power is my love.

1145
01:02:03,303 --> 01:02:07,015
My power is I can pierce anything
'cause I am the real fucking thing,

1146
01:02:07,099 --> 01:02:08,058
and so are you.

1147
01:02:09,268 --> 01:02:11,812
And that real thing
can get through to anybody

1148
01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:14,314
if you care enough
and you're persistent enough.

1149
01:02:14,398 --> 01:02:18,444
But I also develop strategies
and I'll teach them all to you.

1150
01:02:18,527 --> 01:02:20,028
[audience cheering]

1151
01:02:20,112 --> 01:02:22,030
-Thank you so much.
-All right?

1152
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:23,949
-Okay.
-So much.

1153
01:02:24,032 --> 01:02:28,162
You don't know how important
that is to me. Thank you.

1154
01:02:33,459 --> 01:02:34,752
[inaudible]

1155
01:03:02,905 --> 01:03:05,199
[Joe] Tony, what happens
in that moment with you?

1156
01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:09,620
[Tony] I just felt her,
and felt for her...

1157
01:03:10,746 --> 01:03:13,457
and knew something had to be done now.

1158
01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:15,876
And in my mind, I said,

1159
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:17,753
"What the fuck do you do with all this?"

1160
01:03:17,836 --> 01:03:21,507
This is... inhuman what was done to her.

1161
01:03:23,008 --> 01:03:26,303
And I just said, "There is a way."
And it...

1162
01:03:27,805 --> 01:03:29,681
It just comes through me.

1163
01:03:30,682 --> 01:03:32,810
Nothing genius there. [sniffles]

1164
01:03:32,893 --> 01:03:36,522
I've never dealt with this issue,
obviously, or anything like this, but...

1165
01:03:38,482 --> 01:03:42,236
I just decide and I know it's done.

1166
01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:43,529
And then it comes out.

1167
01:03:44,571 --> 01:03:47,741
It's beautiful to experience and witness.

1168
01:03:49,076 --> 01:03:51,954
I just really believe
people's, uh, love and caring.

1169
01:03:52,037 --> 01:03:54,540
If they led with that,
they'd find the way.

1170
01:03:54,623 --> 01:03:58,544
I think they lead with their fear
they're gonna fail, and I will not fail.

1171
01:03:58,627 --> 01:04:01,171
[stammers] Not a person in that situation.

1172
01:04:01,255 --> 01:04:03,966
It's not an option. [sniffles]

1173
01:04:04,550 --> 01:04:06,343
Under any circumstances.

1174
01:04:06,426 --> 01:04:09,680
I know if she's there,
she's come to this moment.

1175
01:04:09,763 --> 01:04:14,268
She's come to this moment
for a reason, and I will not fail her.

1176
01:04:15,394 --> 01:04:17,479
It's suffering in my own life

1177
01:04:17,563 --> 01:04:22,234
that makes me not let anybody else suffer
that I can possibly do something about.

1178
01:04:22,317 --> 01:04:23,944
And I love to see people light up,

1179
01:04:24,027 --> 01:04:27,906
but I will not let them stay in suffering
if I can humanly do anything.

1180
01:04:27,990 --> 01:04:29,366
[Joe] But that doesn't tell me why.

1181
01:04:29,449 --> 01:04:32,744
[Tony] 'Cause I know what it feels like,
and I don't want anyone to feel that way.

1182
01:04:32,828 --> 01:04:35,914
[Joe] I had a difficult childhood.
I've suffered.

1183
01:04:35,998 --> 01:04:37,541
You know, I don't have that capacity.

1184
01:04:37,624 --> 01:04:39,209
It's my obsession.

1185
01:04:40,210 --> 01:04:41,587
It's an obsession.

1186
01:04:41,670 --> 01:04:46,174
It's obsession to break through.
It's an obsession to help.

1187
01:04:46,258 --> 01:04:49,595
I'm addicted to it.
It makes me feel like, um...

1188
01:04:49,678 --> 01:04:52,598
my life has deep meaning,
not just surface meaning.

1189
01:04:52,681 --> 01:04:55,267
And everybody's got their thing,
and this is my thing.

1190
01:04:57,227 --> 01:04:58,729
[sniffles]

1191
01:05:03,901 --> 01:05:05,235
[sighs]

1192
01:05:35,140 --> 01:05:36,892
[interviewer] Coming to
"Date With Destiny," what was it

1193
01:05:36,975 --> 01:05:42,981
that you were seeking or looking
to explore about yourself or about life

1194
01:05:43,065 --> 01:05:44,942
that brought you here?

1195
01:05:45,025 --> 01:05:46,652
One of my limiting beliefs was

1196
01:05:46,735 --> 01:05:50,030
that I'm just not very good with people
and I don't make good first impressions

1197
01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:51,782
and I have a really hard time
connecting with people,

1198
01:05:51,865 --> 01:05:55,535
and that was the story
that's been playing out for decades.

1199
01:05:55,619 --> 01:05:59,373
And what I realized is that
I love connecting with people.

1200
01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:00,457
[interviewer] So that's interesting

1201
01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:02,417
because, here,
it brings you to "Date With Destiny"

1202
01:06:02,501 --> 01:06:07,839
where someone is asked to pick people
out of a crowd of 2,500 people. [laughs]

1203
01:06:07,923 --> 01:06:09,967
[laughing]

1204
01:06:10,050 --> 01:06:13,887
-Yeah.
-And, uh, you know, a first impression...

1205
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:15,889
um...

1206
01:06:16,556 --> 01:06:21,186
Yeah, you know, I never really--
That's a pretty amazing thing.

1207
01:06:21,269 --> 01:06:22,270
[Dawn] Thank you.

1208
01:06:24,189 --> 01:06:26,233
You guys did great.
Thank you.

1209
01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:27,859
-I love you.
-[Dawn] I love you, too.

1210
01:06:27,943 --> 01:06:30,946
-There you are, my third uncle.
-[chuckles]

1211
01:06:31,029 --> 01:06:32,030
Thank you.

1212
01:06:32,114 --> 01:06:34,491
-Enjoy. You're gonna enjoy. Take care.
-Thank you

1213
01:06:34,574 --> 01:06:36,410
I'll see you downstairs.

1214
01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:40,330
[Dawn] In that moment, it was
just such loving energy in that room,

1215
01:06:40,414 --> 01:06:42,165
and I just saw their loving faces.

1216
01:06:42,249 --> 01:06:43,792
It's super hard nowadays

1217
01:06:43,875 --> 01:06:47,087
to really look at someone and believe
that it's real, what they feel.

1218
01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:51,049
And at that moment, I didn't ask twice.
I just knew it was real.

1219
01:06:51,133 --> 01:06:54,636
So that was very liberating for me, too.

1220
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:55,887
[crew member] Thank you very much.

1221
01:06:55,971 --> 01:06:57,639
-Thank you.
-I really appreciate it.

1222
01:07:00,183 --> 01:07:01,184
[Julianne Hough] Hi.
[Dawn] Hi.

1223
01:07:01,268 --> 01:07:03,603
-How are you?
-Two awesome ladies.

1224
01:07:03,687 --> 01:07:06,398
-I'm good. And you?
-Wonderful.

1225
01:07:06,481 --> 01:07:08,483
-How do you feel today?
-Amazing.

1226
01:07:08,567 --> 01:07:09,651
-Yeah.
-Amazing.

1227
01:07:09,735 --> 01:07:13,780
Well, I know all of us feel amazing, too.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.

1228
01:07:13,864 --> 01:07:17,868
It gave so much, um,
light in all of our lives.

1229
01:07:17,951 --> 01:07:20,704
The thing that got me was that...

1230
01:07:20,787 --> 01:07:23,790
I was sobbing uncontrollably,
not because--

1231
01:07:23,874 --> 01:07:26,126
I mean, I was because of the pain
that you'd gone through,

1232
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:28,879
-but because of the strength that you had.
-Mmm.

1233
01:07:28,962 --> 01:07:30,714
And it touched something inside of me

1234
01:07:30,797 --> 01:07:34,593
because of certain things that happened
in my life, in my past,

1235
01:07:34,676 --> 01:07:35,761
not to your extent,

1236
01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:40,348
but, um, that I've had to go through
and let go of as well.

1237
01:07:40,432 --> 01:07:44,895
And I came here last year
and that... that set me free.

1238
01:07:44,978 --> 01:07:47,064
-Yeah.
-And I'm so able to love now.

1239
01:07:47,147 --> 01:07:48,398
And I'm able to receive love.

1240
01:07:48,482 --> 01:07:51,401
And it's the greatest gift
on the planet, so...

1241
01:07:51,485 --> 01:07:53,904
-You are so loved.
-[chuckles]

1242
01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:57,115
To me, what was just so inspiring
is that you had the courage

1243
01:07:57,199 --> 01:08:02,120
to get up and speak about something
that is so unfathomable to all of us.

1244
01:08:02,204 --> 01:08:03,663
Oh, my God, I can't.

1245
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:09,086
And so, the thing that struck me the most
is that you were able to forgive.

1246
01:08:09,169 --> 01:08:11,046
Most of us walk around in this world

1247
01:08:11,129 --> 01:08:14,549
with such anger, and such pain,
and such hurt [sniffles]

1248
01:08:14,633 --> 01:08:17,552
and we wanna hurt others
because they've hurt us.

1249
01:08:17,636 --> 01:08:21,765
And you were the complete opposite.
I just was so moved by that.

1250
01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:23,642
I don't know, it's... it's, um...

1251
01:08:23,725 --> 01:08:25,727
-You are gonna be so free this year.
-...crazy

1252
01:08:25,811 --> 01:08:27,020
I can't even tell you.

1253
01:08:27,104 --> 01:08:29,731
-I have no doubt about that.
-[all chuckling]

1254
01:08:30,816 --> 01:08:33,026
[organizer] Everybody
to the front of the room, please.

1255
01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:35,445
Please quickly make your way
to the front of the room.

1256
01:08:35,529 --> 01:08:39,324
Good morning, everyone.
We'll see you in the front of the room.

1257
01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:42,327
[Vicki St. George] Come on over!
Come on over! We have to make this quick.

1258
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:45,163
[Tad] So a huge thank you
to everybody for yesterday.

1259
01:08:45,247 --> 01:08:49,084
Was there some unbelievable magic
created in the rooms yesterday?

1260
01:08:49,167 --> 01:08:50,502
[audience cheering]

1261
01:08:55,257 --> 01:08:57,551
-Tony was definitely on his game.
-[organizer 2] Yeah.

1262
01:08:57,634 --> 01:09:02,055
Um, [stutters] I think it was...
Dawn was the, uh, the Children of... No.

1263
01:09:02,139 --> 01:09:03,140
-[Vicki] Soldiers of God.
-Soldiers of God.

1264
01:09:03,223 --> 01:09:04,891
-[staff members] Children of God.
-Yeah, Children of God.

1265
01:09:04,975 --> 01:09:06,518
-Children of God, whatever.
-We gotta change that.

1266
01:09:06,601 --> 01:09:09,980
We had a participant
who was also from Brazil,

1267
01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:12,899
uh, who said they went through
something very similar,

1268
01:09:12,983 --> 01:09:18,488
and he brought over a check for
the equivalent of $50,000 to give to her,

1269
01:09:18,572 --> 01:09:23,577
to allow her to help the other people
that had gone through similar things.

1270
01:09:23,660 --> 01:09:25,412
[audience cheering]

1271
01:09:29,875 --> 01:09:33,461
[Diane] We have key share updates.
[Tony] Okay.

1272
01:09:33,545 --> 01:09:35,297
Dawn is feeling amazing.

1273
01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:38,592
She says it was the best day of her life.
She's never been better.

1274
01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:42,762
She read all the letters that people
have sent, you know, really trusting her.

1275
01:09:42,846 --> 01:09:44,848
She woke up and felt so happy

1276
01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:48,268
that by being open
and letting people into her life,

1277
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:49,519
um, that it released her.

1278
01:09:49,603 --> 01:09:52,272
[Tony] She's also received,
I think, about $100,000.

1279
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:53,690
[Diane] That's amazing.

1280
01:09:53,773 --> 01:09:57,027
[Tony] Do you know that she sold
everything she had to come to this event?

1281
01:09:57,110 --> 01:09:58,486
-She sold her furniture...
-That's crazy.

1282
01:09:58,570 --> 01:09:59,821
-...to come to this event.
-It's crazy.

1283
01:09:59,905 --> 01:10:01,907
[Tony] That's, to me,
the wildest thing in the world.

1284
01:10:01,990 --> 01:10:05,035
-Holy, she was, like, at her end.
-[Diane] Gosh.

1285
01:10:06,036 --> 01:10:10,165
[Hali] I watched how compassionate
and kind and sweet Tony was with Dawn,

1286
01:10:10,248 --> 01:10:11,791
-and rightfully so.
-Yeah.

1287
01:10:11,875 --> 01:10:15,462
And then I reflected back on the man
that was looking at and talking to me,

1288
01:10:15,545 --> 01:10:18,131
who was, quite frankly,
hard-ass, big time.

1289
01:10:18,215 --> 01:10:21,134
-But that's what you needed.
-I needed it, and I'm not denying that,

1290
01:10:21,218 --> 01:10:26,306
but the little girl in me was
a little sad about that when I woke up.

1291
01:10:26,389 --> 01:10:27,390
And I thought, "Man, you know,

1292
01:10:27,474 --> 01:10:30,310
he's nice to all these other people,
and to me, I get the dickhead."

1293
01:10:30,393 --> 01:10:33,855
But what it made me realize
was that's the kind of--

1294
01:10:33,939 --> 01:10:38,360
Well, that's what you get when you bring
your masculine energy to a masculine man.

1295
01:10:38,443 --> 01:10:41,529
So at first, I was a little bit hurt,
and then I went,

1296
01:10:41,613 --> 01:10:42,989
"If you'd have been
nice and mamsy-pamsy,

1297
01:10:43,073 --> 01:10:44,991
I wouldn't have done shit."

1298
01:10:45,075 --> 01:10:46,493
So I get it.

1299
01:10:47,786 --> 01:10:51,039
So this is your new start.
Today's Relationship Day.

1300
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,249
[all giggling]

1301
01:10:52,332 --> 01:10:55,627
-Anybody excited about Relationship--
-[all] Yeah!

1302
01:10:55,710 --> 01:10:57,712
[all cheering]

1303
01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:07,514
[Tony] Think of it, what are
the two deepest fears everyone has?

1304
01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:09,849
-They're not what?
-[audience] Enough!

1305
01:11:09,933 --> 01:11:12,394
-If they're not enough, they won't be...
-[audience] Loved!

1306
01:11:12,477 --> 01:11:13,812
[Tony] Where do you have the ability,

1307
01:11:13,895 --> 01:11:17,399
have that fear show up the most,
except in an intimate relationship,

1308
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:22,112
where you want them to need, to want,
to value and to love you most.

1309
01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:24,948
This is the area, when we get to

1310
01:11:25,031 --> 01:11:28,493
the section of the seminar,
the energy can change.

1311
01:11:29,494 --> 01:11:34,708
Sometimes, people start to go from the
highest high to the most freaked-out low.

1312
01:11:34,791 --> 01:11:36,501
We'll look whatever you're afraid of
in the eye,

1313
01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:38,586
we're gonna push through it.
Who's with me on this? Say "aye."

1314
01:11:38,670 --> 01:11:39,671
[audience] Aye!

1315
01:11:39,754 --> 01:11:42,924
'Cause on the other side,
when you get to that place

1316
01:11:43,008 --> 01:11:46,177
and you jump through
that empty hole that's in front of you,

1317
01:11:46,261 --> 01:11:48,221
that unknown, that future,

1318
01:11:48,763 --> 01:11:51,016
you're gonna find it's much greater
than you've even imagined.

1319
01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:53,810
What it takes to make a relationship work
is really simple.

1320
01:11:53,893 --> 01:11:56,187
It takes unbelievable courage,

1321
01:11:56,271 --> 01:11:59,649
because this takes you
to the rawest place in yourself.

1322
01:11:59,733 --> 01:12:01,735
This is the place, also,
the rewards are greater.

1323
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:04,112
If you wanna talk about spirituality,
that's wonderful.

1324
01:12:04,195 --> 01:12:06,323
Going and sitting and praying
is a beautiful thing.

1325
01:12:06,406 --> 01:12:09,284
Going in a cave and meditating,
that's not an accomplishment.

1326
01:12:09,367 --> 01:12:13,538
Try being with a human you love 24/7,
whose love you desire,

1327
01:12:14,122 --> 01:12:15,957
and keep growing spiritually there.

1328
01:12:16,041 --> 01:12:19,127
That's where you're gonna be challenged,
not by yourself, all right?

1329
01:12:21,546 --> 01:12:22,672
How many people you know say,

1330
01:12:22,756 --> 01:12:23,882
"What's your vision
for your relationship?"

1331
01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:25,967
And they'll tell you,
"Are you fucking crazy? Vision?

1332
01:12:26,051 --> 01:12:28,845
I got a vision from my business.
My vision for-- Here's my vision.

1333
01:12:28,928 --> 01:12:31,848
We're gonna go home, fuck,
have something to eat. It'll be good."

1334
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:33,183
[audience laughing]

1335
01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:37,145
Maybe we know why you're alone. Right?

1336
01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:38,897
So we want a vision for it.

1337
01:12:38,980 --> 01:12:40,857
That's what's gonna
lift the game completely.

1338
01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:42,317
We're gonna lift it to a different level.

1339
01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:45,236
-How many follow? Say "aye."
-[audience] Aye!

1340
01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:46,988
So who wants to share?

1341
01:12:47,697 --> 01:12:51,826
Raise your hand if you wanna
share your visions. We'll hear a sampling.

1342
01:12:51,910 --> 01:12:53,953
-[music playing]
-[audience cheering]

1343
01:12:54,037 --> 01:12:55,955
This lady right here. Yes, ma'am.

1344
01:12:58,208 --> 01:12:59,709
Give her a hand!

1345
01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:04,130
-Tell us your vision.
-[sighs]

1346
01:13:05,131 --> 01:13:07,092
I'm really excited to share this.

1347
01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:09,719
This is a whole 98%
of why I came to this program,

1348
01:13:09,803 --> 01:13:12,806
and I'm really excited about this.
Um... [chuckles]

1349
01:13:13,306 --> 01:13:16,601
"It's a relationship where I can be
strong and powerful in my life,

1350
01:13:16,684 --> 01:13:18,770
yet when I look at him, I melt.

1351
01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:22,649
It's a relationship where I am free,
like I am dancing in the stars

1352
01:13:22,732 --> 01:13:25,527
because I feel the strength
and presence of my man,

1353
01:13:25,610 --> 01:13:28,113
and know that nothing
could ever shake that.

1354
01:13:28,196 --> 01:13:32,075
It's a relationship that makes me feel
like a giddy girl,

1355
01:13:32,158 --> 01:13:34,452
where his heart and chest

1356
01:13:34,536 --> 01:13:37,789
are the place where I can feel
the masculine heart of the universe.

1357
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:39,624
His body, when it touches me,

1358
01:13:40,333 --> 01:13:45,588
it is safety, warmth, strength,
power, calm, adventure,

1359
01:13:45,672 --> 01:13:49,175
and allows me to access
the entire universe.

1360
01:13:49,843 --> 01:13:51,511
When my body touches him,

1361
01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:55,056
it is like a supernova of my essence
with the rest of the universe."

1362
01:13:55,140 --> 01:13:58,393
I like being...
feeling the universe. [laughs]

1363
01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:02,147
[audience cheering]

1364
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:07,902
"It would bring a strength
and power to our lives

1365
01:14:07,986 --> 01:14:12,282
that I, at least,
have been dying to access

1366
01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:15,910
so that we can carry out
our souls' mission and vision."

1367
01:14:15,994 --> 01:14:17,912
Wow. Very nice.
Give her a hand.

1368
01:14:17,996 --> 01:14:20,790
-Is there a man in your life right now?
-Yes, he's here!

1369
01:14:21,291 --> 01:14:23,376
Stand up, sir.
Give him a hand!

1370
01:14:24,878 --> 01:14:26,838
[audience cheering]

1371
01:14:29,924 --> 01:14:31,926
What is your vision, sir?

1372
01:14:34,679 --> 01:14:36,639
So my vision is...

1373
01:14:36,723 --> 01:14:42,854
that we continue to stand in our essence
that we have discovered now,

1374
01:14:42,937 --> 01:14:45,482
our true essence, um...

1375
01:14:45,565 --> 01:14:49,235
and that we have the ability
to snap ourselves back

1376
01:14:49,319 --> 01:14:51,946
when we get in times of stress.

1377
01:14:52,655 --> 01:14:56,367
-Um, and to ever expand that--
-[audience member] Louder!

1378
01:14:56,451 --> 01:14:58,995
To ever expand that essence...

1379
01:14:59,078 --> 01:15:00,622
-[Tony] Stop.
-Yeah.

1380
01:15:00,705 --> 01:15:02,582
It's painful.

1381
01:15:02,665 --> 01:15:04,375
[audience laughing]

1382
01:15:05,710 --> 01:15:07,921
-Oh...
-[Tony] Jesus Christ.

1383
01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:09,881
[music playing]

1384
01:15:09,964 --> 01:15:11,466
Get out here.

1385
01:15:11,549 --> 01:15:12,967
Holy fuck.

1386
01:15:14,052 --> 01:15:16,012
That was painful.

1387
01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:21,601
[music stops playing]

1388
01:15:21,684 --> 01:15:24,854
I cannot believe that's the chest
she's talking about putting her head on.

1389
01:15:24,938 --> 01:15:26,898
[audience laughing]

1390
01:15:29,901 --> 01:15:31,945
That was embarrassing, Lance.

1391
01:15:32,403 --> 01:15:34,781
Now you've had some pain
with this woman, clearly.

1392
01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:37,534
She's a wild fucking creature, isn't she?

1393
01:15:37,617 --> 01:15:39,661
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

1394
01:15:39,744 --> 01:15:41,454
And you look a little beat down.

1395
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:47,335
How long have you been together?

1396
01:15:48,670 --> 01:15:51,798
A little over nine years, yeah.

1397
01:15:51,881 --> 01:15:53,258
How often do you guys make love?

1398
01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:02,350
-About once every two weeks.
-[Tony] Once every two weeks. Is that--

1399
01:16:02,433 --> 01:16:03,476
Twice a month.

1400
01:16:03,560 --> 01:16:05,228
Twice a month.
Okay, good.

1401
01:16:05,311 --> 01:16:06,688
Sounds like, you know,
an enema you might take

1402
01:16:06,813 --> 01:16:08,982
or something like that, you know.
"Twice a month."

1403
01:16:10,775 --> 01:16:13,611
Lance, was your father a powerful man?

1404
01:16:15,154 --> 01:16:16,281
Or a feminine man?

1405
01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:18,866
-Feminine man.
-Got it.

1406
01:16:18,950 --> 01:16:21,578
-Pleased your mom all the time?
-Yeah.

1407
01:16:21,661 --> 01:16:23,454
And you craved your dad's love,

1408
01:16:23,538 --> 01:16:25,331
and so who did you have to be
for your father?

1409
01:16:25,415 --> 01:16:28,293
Whatever would stay out of his way.

1410
01:16:28,376 --> 01:16:29,711
-Stay out of his way.
-Yeah.

1411
01:16:29,794 --> 01:16:34,007
So you learned
to let him dominate the situation.

1412
01:16:34,090 --> 01:16:36,759
So his wife dominated him,
and he dominated you.

1413
01:16:37,927 --> 01:16:39,637
Yeah.

1414
01:16:39,721 --> 01:16:41,014
This is not a weak man.

1415
01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:43,224
This is a man
who's been rewarded for being weak

1416
01:16:43,308 --> 01:16:46,769
'cause he originally got pain
if he were strong, to be fair to him.

1417
01:16:46,853 --> 01:16:50,690
And that is a brutal
and unfair fucking task.

1418
01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:54,527
And I have been through the same period,
only with a mother, not a father,

1419
01:16:54,611 --> 01:16:58,990
but there is a day
in which it all can change.

1420
01:17:00,199 --> 01:17:04,037
See, there was a day a long time ago...

1421
01:17:05,455 --> 01:17:06,831
It was a time...

1422
01:17:07,832 --> 01:17:11,336
when a little baby was born.

1423
01:17:13,129 --> 01:17:16,966
And the little baby was there
with the baby's mother,

1424
01:17:17,050 --> 01:17:18,760
and there was an attack.

1425
01:17:18,843 --> 01:17:22,013
And the attack was brutal,
and the mother was killed.

1426
01:17:23,556 --> 01:17:27,602
And the father, trying to save the child,
threw him in the bushes,

1427
01:17:28,186 --> 01:17:30,104
so the baby lion lived.

1428
01:17:33,066 --> 01:17:34,984
And then the father was massacred as well.

1429
01:17:35,943 --> 01:17:39,947
And after the massacre was done,
the little baby woke up all alone.

1430
01:17:40,031 --> 01:17:43,534
With nothing to even see
what his mother would look like.

1431
01:17:43,618 --> 01:17:48,623
All he knows is he's alone,
barely functioning at an early age.

1432
01:17:48,706 --> 01:17:51,709
And then these sheep came by.
"Baa."

1433
01:17:52,627 --> 01:17:54,754
And the little lion cub came out

1434
01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:58,424
and one of the sheep came up
and rubbed up against him.

1435
01:17:58,508 --> 01:18:00,009
"Baa, baa."

1436
01:18:01,719 --> 01:18:05,807
And before you know it, within
a few months, he's one of the troop.

1437
01:18:05,890 --> 01:18:08,893
You see this little lion
going around, going, "Baa, baa, baa,"

1438
01:18:08,976 --> 01:18:10,061
Making the same sounds.

1439
01:18:13,398 --> 01:18:16,484
And then one day,
a group of lions came in,

1440
01:18:16,567 --> 01:18:19,529
and they sliced up
all the sheep around them.

1441
01:18:21,531 --> 01:18:26,911
And now, the little lion is a big
fucking lion, going, "Baa, baa."

1442
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:29,622
And he's horrified by it all.

1443
01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:31,749
He's in shock.

1444
01:18:33,418 --> 01:18:37,004
And this one giant lion comes over
and smacks him on the head

1445
01:18:37,088 --> 01:18:39,966
and says,
"What the fuck is going on with you?"

1446
01:18:42,510 --> 01:18:45,805
And he grabs him by the hair
and he takes him, he takes him.

1447
01:18:46,806 --> 01:18:51,352
And he takes him till he can see
a puddle of water there.

1448
01:18:52,687 --> 01:18:57,358
And he looks, and he sees
he's not a fucking sheep.

1449
01:19:06,659 --> 01:19:08,870
But still he's not convinced.

1450
01:19:11,539 --> 01:19:14,083
So the lion feeds him some of the sheep,

1451
01:19:14,167 --> 01:19:17,003
and he tries to spit it out
because it's a vegan and stuff.

1452
01:19:17,962 --> 01:19:19,672
[audience laughing]

1453
01:19:19,756 --> 01:19:21,299
Are you a vegan?

1454
01:19:21,382 --> 01:19:24,719
Okay, that's close enough. [chuckles]

1455
01:19:26,554 --> 01:19:29,015
He's horrified. "I can't eat my brethren!"

1456
01:19:29,098 --> 01:19:31,893
But then the big lion
shoves it into his mouth

1457
01:19:31,976 --> 01:19:36,022
and something magical happens inside,
something truly magical.

1458
01:19:36,105 --> 01:19:38,900
He fucking remembers who he is.

1459
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:42,278
And there's something inside of you
that nothing can ever take away.

1460
01:19:42,361 --> 01:19:43,571
Nothing.

1461
01:19:45,198 --> 01:19:48,409
Something so fucking strong...

1462
01:19:49,911 --> 01:19:52,288
that it can be kind, but powerful.

1463
01:19:54,332 --> 01:19:58,419
And as the food goes down,
a crazy fucking thing happens.

1464
01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,756
He stops saying, "Baa, baa,"

1465
01:20:02,673 --> 01:20:05,051
and he fucking roars.

1466
01:20:06,177 --> 01:20:07,637
Give me a roar.

1467
01:20:08,554 --> 01:20:09,931
[roars]

1468
01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:13,059
-That's the fucking roar!
-[audience cheering]

1469
01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:16,312
That's the fucking roar!
Fuck yes, brother!

1470
01:20:16,395 --> 01:20:18,022
That's the fucking roar.

1471
01:20:18,105 --> 01:20:19,482
Give me a roar!

1472
01:20:19,565 --> 01:20:21,025
[roars]

1473
01:20:21,108 --> 01:20:22,777
[Tony] Give me a roar.

1474
01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:24,487
[roars]

1475
01:20:24,570 --> 01:20:26,239
Give me a fucking roar!

1476
01:20:26,322 --> 01:20:28,449
[roars]

1477
01:20:28,533 --> 01:20:29,867
That's it.

1478
01:20:29,951 --> 01:20:31,786
[roars]

1479
01:20:32,328 --> 01:20:34,789
That's the fuckin' roar.

1480
01:20:36,123 --> 01:20:37,917
[Joe] Why do you dedicate an entire day

1481
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,669
of the seminar to relationships?

1482
01:20:39,752 --> 01:20:40,753
[Tony] Because if you don't,

1483
01:20:40,837 --> 01:20:44,215
then people will go and they've
wired themself for joy and happiness

1484
01:20:44,298 --> 01:20:45,758
and then part of their joy
and happiness is...

1485
01:20:45,842 --> 01:20:47,677
Not all the rules are just tied to them,

1486
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,011
they're in a relationship. [coughs]

1487
01:20:49,095 --> 01:20:50,721
And that person,
they don't know how to interact.

1488
01:20:50,805 --> 01:20:52,557
They don't understand, you know.
They look--

1489
01:20:52,640 --> 01:20:57,770
[chuckles] Women think that men should be
like women on some level, and vice-versa.

1490
01:20:57,854 --> 01:21:00,857
Um, and so it just creates so much havoc

1491
01:21:00,940 --> 01:21:02,692
'cause our culture
has what's politically correct

1492
01:21:02,775 --> 01:21:04,944
and then there's how people
really, truly respond.

1493
01:21:05,027 --> 01:21:06,070
And you can see what's real

1494
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:07,738
because you can watch in the room
and see it happen,

1495
01:21:07,822 --> 01:21:09,782
no matter what country,
or what nationality.

1496
01:21:09,866 --> 01:21:11,492
It has nothing to do
with cultural upbringing.

1497
01:21:11,576 --> 01:21:13,327
It has to do with the way we're wired.

1498
01:21:13,411 --> 01:21:15,121
And, to me, this is the most important
area of life,

1499
01:21:15,204 --> 01:21:16,873
so I couldn't leave this out of this.

1500
01:21:16,956 --> 01:21:19,375
And relationship
magnifies everything else.

1501
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,502
[audience cheering]

1502
01:21:21,586 --> 01:21:24,088
[Tony] She is not quite sure
how to handle this. Did you notice that?

1503
01:21:24,171 --> 01:21:25,548
[audience laughing]

1504
01:21:25,631 --> 01:21:28,301
She's like, "I kind of like it,
but I don't fucking know.

1505
01:21:28,384 --> 01:21:31,387
-This is fucking crazy shit."
-[Tammi laughing]

1506
01:21:31,470 --> 01:21:32,930
What do you feel right now?

1507
01:21:34,849 --> 01:21:37,226
-I want it to last.
-[Tony] Yes, of course.

1508
01:21:37,310 --> 01:21:40,313
By the way, he just gave his all to her.

1509
01:21:40,438 --> 01:21:42,815
He just slayed the fucking room.

1510
01:21:42,899 --> 01:21:45,693
He just did everything a man can do,

1511
01:21:45,776 --> 01:21:49,906
and at his peak moment,
when he's the most vulnerable, open,

1512
01:21:49,989 --> 01:21:51,490
and should be her fucking hero,

1513
01:21:51,574 --> 01:21:54,327
she took a baseball bat
and shoved it in his ass.

1514
01:21:54,410 --> 01:21:55,870
[audience laughing]

1515
01:21:56,621 --> 01:21:58,205
[Tony imitates buzzer noise]

1516
01:21:58,289 --> 01:22:00,625
Big F, fucking failure
for you on that one.

1517
01:22:01,334 --> 01:22:04,462
So let me tell you
what will end your relationship.

1518
01:22:04,545 --> 01:22:08,132
Selfishness. It's a bad fucking habit.

1519
01:22:08,215 --> 01:22:11,093
A man does not just fucking appear.

1520
01:22:11,177 --> 01:22:15,348
Heal the boy, and the man will appear.

1521
01:22:15,431 --> 01:22:16,682
2:20, how long was that?

1522
01:22:16,807 --> 01:22:18,351
-It started at--
-Two hours and nineteen.

1523
01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:20,019
-12:05?
-12:05.

1524
01:22:20,102 --> 01:22:22,480
-That was two hours and 20 minutes?
-Yeah.

1525
01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:25,232
Everybody sat through the whole thing
and didn't move? Holy shit!

1526
01:22:25,316 --> 01:22:28,235
-I know. People got amazing value.
-They were riveted.

1527
01:22:28,319 --> 01:22:30,571
Okay, well, we're not doing
"Cycle of Meaning" right now.

1528
01:22:30,655 --> 01:22:31,781
-They're gonna have to blow that out.
-Yep.

1529
01:22:31,864 --> 01:22:34,116
Um, I'll figure a way
to do it within a therapy.

1530
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:35,660
-That'll get the essence of that out.
-Okay.

1531
01:22:35,743 --> 01:22:37,745
-Give me a syntax that shows me that.
-Yep. Now?

1532
01:22:37,828 --> 01:22:40,790
-Are they done now writing, I assume?
-Yeah, they're probably sharing.

1533
01:22:40,873 --> 01:22:43,459
Share 'em with a partner.
Stand up and share with a partner.

1534
01:22:43,542 --> 01:22:46,128
What is it you wanna remember?
What'd you take out of this?

1535
01:22:46,212 --> 01:22:48,714
What is it that you're gonna utilize
for the rest of your life?

1536
01:22:50,216 --> 01:22:51,217
-Okay.
-Yeah.

1537
01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:53,970
But we're two and a half hours behind
or two hours behind?

1538
01:22:54,053 --> 01:22:55,096
[Diane] Two.
[assistant] Two hours.

1539
01:22:55,179 --> 01:22:57,515
We have an hour and 40 minutes
built in for shares and

1540
01:22:57,598 --> 01:22:59,141
-the summary... the breakup of it.
-[Tony] Okay, okay.

1541
01:22:59,225 --> 01:23:02,770
[stammers] So I'll knock an hour...
40 minutes to an hour off the shares.

1542
01:23:02,853 --> 01:23:04,105
-So, I'll only do, like, probably...
-All right.

1543
01:23:04,188 --> 01:23:06,399
-...one or two interventions, max.
-Okay.

1544
01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:07,942
[Tony] So we catch an hour back.
[Diane] Yeah.

1545
01:23:08,025 --> 01:23:10,403
Then maybe what we do
is we blow off dinner.

1546
01:23:10,486 --> 01:23:12,238
And we do a meal in their seat.

1547
01:23:12,321 --> 01:23:13,322
[Diane] Perfect.
[assistant] That's fine.

1548
01:23:13,406 --> 01:23:14,782
[Tony] Let's just make it
a substantial one then.

1549
01:23:14,865 --> 01:23:16,659
We're gonna need a substantial one,
that's a long day.

1550
01:23:16,742 --> 01:23:17,785
Even by my standards, it's a long day.

1551
01:23:17,868 --> 01:23:18,911
So it's gonna be a long day for them.

1552
01:23:18,995 --> 01:23:21,247
-It'll be a fun day. It'll be an easy day.
-[Diane] Yeah.

1553
01:23:21,330 --> 01:23:22,373
[Tony] But it's still a long day.

1554
01:23:22,456 --> 01:23:23,791
[Sage Robbins] One question
I always get asked is,

1555
01:23:23,874 --> 01:23:25,751
"Who is he and what's he like
behind the scenes?"

1556
01:23:25,835 --> 01:23:27,837
Or, "What's he like in life?
What's he like in marriage?"

1557
01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:30,297
-Hey, Tones, Scotty's here.
-Yeah.

1558
01:23:30,381 --> 01:23:33,926
[Sage] What you experience him
to be on stage is who he is in life.

1559
01:23:34,010 --> 01:23:36,012
It's my brother. [chuckles]

1560
01:23:36,095 --> 01:23:37,680
In front of the curtain,
behind the curtain,

1561
01:23:37,763 --> 01:23:38,973
there is that trueness.

1562
01:23:39,056 --> 01:23:40,433
Go ahead, gentlemen.

1563
01:23:40,558 --> 01:23:43,644
[Sage] He really is that hungry.
He really is that passionate.

1564
01:23:43,728 --> 01:23:47,314
He really does have
that desire to connect.

1565
01:23:50,568 --> 01:23:52,862
Hey, let's do one together, too.

1566
01:23:52,945 --> 01:23:55,239
Come here, you.
How are you?

1567
01:23:55,322 --> 01:23:56,949
Tony, guess what?

1568
01:23:57,033 --> 01:23:58,451
I have a boyfriend.

1569
01:23:58,534 --> 01:24:00,161
-Oh, that's awesome.
-For now.

1570
01:24:00,244 --> 01:24:02,121
Oh, no, that's awesome.

1571
01:24:02,204 --> 01:24:03,205
It's a relationship.

1572
01:24:03,289 --> 01:24:04,290
That's a breakthrough, girl.

1573
01:24:04,373 --> 01:24:06,751
-That's a relationship.
-That's a breakthrough.

1574
01:24:06,834 --> 01:24:09,170
[Sage] That level of kindness,
that level of heart,

1575
01:24:09,253 --> 01:24:12,882
is that man 24 hours a day.

1576
01:24:12,965 --> 01:24:14,884
[Tony] You're going to have
what you want in your life

1577
01:24:14,967 --> 01:24:15,968
'cause you're made of that.

1578
01:24:16,052 --> 01:24:17,511
It's gonna be off course most of the time,

1579
01:24:17,595 --> 01:24:18,846
but you're gonna land where you wanna be.

1580
01:24:18,929 --> 01:24:20,139
-Come on.
-All right?

1581
01:24:20,222 --> 01:24:21,807
-Love you, man. I love you.
-I love you.

1582
01:24:21,932 --> 01:24:24,393
[Sage] Because that is who he is.

1583
01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:27,104
That actually invigorates him.
That does not drain him.

1584
01:24:27,188 --> 01:24:30,024
[chuckles] Not... It might drain me.
[laughing]

1585
01:24:30,107 --> 01:24:33,069
[Tony] My wife, Bonnie-Pearl, and I
both are not chit-chat people.

1586
01:24:33,152 --> 01:24:35,071
I like to go deep.
She does, too.

1587
01:24:35,154 --> 01:24:38,074
She's got as much mission as I do
and she's as driven as I am.

1588
01:24:38,157 --> 01:24:39,241
How... How can--

1589
01:24:39,325 --> 01:24:41,619
-[Sage] How can you what?
-How can I feel safe inside?

1590
01:24:41,702 --> 01:24:43,037
How can you feel safe?

1591
01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:46,999
By trusting,
by knowing that you're guided.

1592
01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:49,960
By knowing that in the right timing,
he'll show up for you.

1593
01:24:50,044 --> 01:24:52,713
Did you feel that?
Go in like this.

1594
01:24:52,797 --> 01:24:54,590
That's what needs to happen. Yes.

1595
01:24:54,673 --> 01:24:56,175
Okay?

1596
01:24:56,258 --> 01:24:58,886
-Oh, I love you.
-Yeah, no problem. Thank you.

1597
01:24:58,969 --> 01:25:01,764
[Tony] Time disappears when
you're doing what you love, right?

1598
01:25:01,847 --> 01:25:04,225
And so, when you can
be with people and support people,

1599
01:25:04,308 --> 01:25:05,309
and you can light them up

1600
01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:08,354
or find a little piece that you can tweak
for them to help them, you know,

1601
01:25:08,437 --> 01:25:10,189
or just give them some sanity

1602
01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:12,108
in the middle of some crazy thing
they're going through,

1603
01:25:12,191 --> 01:25:13,442
that's very fulfilling for me.

1604
01:25:13,526 --> 01:25:15,611
So, whether I'm doing it there
or from the stage

1605
01:25:15,694 --> 01:25:17,238
really doesn't make any difference.

1606
01:25:17,321 --> 01:25:18,697
In some ways, it's nice one-on-one

1607
01:25:18,781 --> 01:25:21,325
'cause I can only focus on
that human being, nobody else.

1608
01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:24,703
Let's do a big picture. Merry Christmas.
Love you guys. Here we go.

1609
01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:27,331
-[Tony] Make some noise!
-[crowd cheering]

1610
01:25:57,987 --> 01:26:01,115
[crowd chanting] Our love is just a key,
for you and me.

1611
01:26:01,198 --> 01:26:03,492
Our love is just a key, for you and me.

1612
01:26:03,576 --> 01:26:05,661
[crowd cheering]

1613
01:26:06,203 --> 01:26:08,539
[Tammi] Last night, we were making love,

1614
01:26:08,622 --> 01:26:13,961
and this was the first time ever in my...
in my life

1615
01:26:14,044 --> 01:26:19,258
that I had sides of myself come out
that I never even knew were there.

1616
01:26:19,341 --> 01:26:23,262
[sobbing] And when I tried to make them
come out before, we never--

1617
01:26:23,345 --> 01:26:26,348
It was awkward and weird,
'cause I was trying,

1618
01:26:26,432 --> 01:26:29,435
and it was just strange,
and I was like, "I don't like this shit.

1619
01:26:29,518 --> 01:26:33,063
You know, I'm not being this fucking bad,
naughty girl or whatever." [laughs]

1620
01:26:34,523 --> 01:26:37,443
My wife and I had
a really beautiful experience last night.

1621
01:26:37,526 --> 01:26:39,445
And for the first time...

1622
01:26:40,487 --> 01:26:43,866
I felt, like, in the core,

1623
01:26:43,949 --> 01:26:46,660
that I wanted children.

1624
01:26:46,744 --> 01:26:49,580
And for a long time,
I, you know, was, like--

1625
01:26:49,663 --> 01:26:53,209
We'd talk about it,
but I didn't feel it, you know?

1626
01:26:53,292 --> 01:26:55,502
[Tammi] I've always wanted to be a mom,

1627
01:26:55,586 --> 01:27:00,424
but, like, actually be okay
with that happening in my life

1628
01:27:00,507 --> 01:27:01,926
without even thinking about it.

1629
01:27:02,009 --> 01:27:05,346
Like, without looking at the date
and figuring out finances

1630
01:27:05,429 --> 01:27:08,849
and figuring out all this shit
that I do in my head.

1631
01:27:08,933 --> 01:27:13,145
And it was the first night
when I was with him that I was like,

1632
01:27:13,229 --> 01:27:17,483
"Holy shit. I can do this,
because I can do anything with him."

1633
01:27:31,163 --> 01:27:32,581
[Diane] So, this just in,

1634
01:27:32,665 --> 01:27:36,835
Tammi and Lance apparently
had the best sex of their life last night,

1635
01:27:36,919 --> 01:27:41,131
and now, for the first time ever,
he wants to have children with her.

1636
01:27:41,215 --> 01:27:42,883
[Tony chuckling]

1637
01:27:42,967 --> 01:27:44,093
[Diane] What?

1638
01:27:45,261 --> 01:27:48,639
-[Tony] We have a funny life.
-[chuckles] Yes.

1639
01:27:48,722 --> 01:27:49,723
[Diane] The show--

1640
01:27:49,807 --> 01:27:52,685
-[Tony] I guess the lion came out, huh?
-I guess so.

1641
01:27:53,185 --> 01:27:55,229
[Tony] How do you know this?
They shared this in their group?

1642
01:27:55,312 --> 01:27:57,523
[Diane] They shared this
with their trainer,

1643
01:27:57,606 --> 01:27:59,858
who shared it with Vicki, who told us.

1644
01:27:59,942 --> 01:28:02,861
-[Tony] Oh, my goodness.
-So they should be in great states today.

1645
01:28:02,945 --> 01:28:05,114
-[Tony] And that's awesome.
-[Diane chuckles]

1646
01:28:05,197 --> 01:28:08,784
[Joe] Tony, it's getting to be
near the end. What's happening today?

1647
01:28:08,867 --> 01:28:13,080
[Tony] This is when they all
are going to redesign their destiny.

1648
01:28:13,163 --> 01:28:14,623
Hello again.

1649
01:28:15,291 --> 01:28:17,501
They now know
what their values and rules are,

1650
01:28:17,584 --> 01:28:19,586
and they've learned how to change 'em,

1651
01:28:19,670 --> 01:28:21,922
and they're now gonna do
the process of changing them.

1652
01:28:22,006 --> 01:28:23,215
[whimpers]

1653
01:28:24,675 --> 01:28:25,676
I'm gonna go get 'em--

1654
01:28:25,759 --> 01:28:29,930
Just a quick review to get 'em in state
before they go make these big decisions.

1655
01:28:30,014 --> 01:28:32,933
Basically the decisions on what's gonna
drive the next decade of their life,

1656
01:28:33,017 --> 01:28:35,394
what they're gonna focus on,
what's gonna be most important to them.

1657
01:28:35,477 --> 01:28:37,563
And it'll be a lot of fun
so it's gonna be a fun day.

1658
01:28:37,688 --> 01:28:39,189
Whoa!

1659
01:28:42,401 --> 01:28:44,028
One high-five to your whole team.

1660
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:45,612
[crowd cheering]

1661
01:28:49,408 --> 01:28:52,119
-How many feelin' damn good? Say "yes."
-[crowd] Yes!

1662
01:28:52,202 --> 01:28:53,579
-Say "yes."
-[crowd] Yes!

1663
01:28:53,662 --> 01:28:56,040
-Say "yes."
-[crowd] Yes!

1664
01:28:56,123 --> 01:28:57,791
Grab a seat for a moment.

1665
01:28:58,584 --> 01:29:02,963
And I want to make a point of something
that I know some of you may be feeling.

1666
01:29:03,589 --> 01:29:06,842
For those of you who are concerned

1667
01:29:06,925 --> 01:29:10,137
that others are having breakthroughs
and you're not.

1668
01:29:10,220 --> 01:29:13,182
And they know the clock is ticking.
[makes ticking noise]

1669
01:29:13,932 --> 01:29:14,933
Right?

1670
01:29:15,017 --> 01:29:19,980
There are some of you right now going,
"This is nice shit for those people.

1671
01:29:20,064 --> 01:29:21,106
[audience laughing]

1672
01:29:22,900 --> 01:29:25,986
But I've been here.
Day and night! Night and day!

1673
01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:30,199
I've written down
these freakin' questions.

1674
01:29:30,282 --> 01:29:31,617
I've listened to this guy.

1675
01:29:31,700 --> 01:29:34,244
I've gone all day
without peeing or eating.

1676
01:29:34,328 --> 01:29:36,205
[audience cheering]

1677
01:29:39,166 --> 01:29:42,252
Clapped my ass off with a bunch
of strange people called 'my team.'"

1678
01:29:45,005 --> 01:29:48,008
Deep inside, there's this concern that...

1679
01:29:49,301 --> 01:29:52,096
you're here and it's next to the last day

1680
01:29:53,305 --> 01:29:56,809
and you're without a breakthrough.

1681
01:29:56,892 --> 01:29:58,977
[scattered laughter]

1682
01:29:59,061 --> 01:30:05,984
So, raise your hand if you find yourself
currently breakthrough-less.

1683
01:30:06,068 --> 01:30:09,279
You have not had a single breakthrough,

1684
01:30:09,363 --> 01:30:13,325
day and night, night and day.

1685
01:30:13,408 --> 01:30:17,329
Stand up if you are breakthrough-less.

1686
01:30:18,288 --> 01:30:22,334
How could someone go through this entire
time and not have a breakthrough?

1687
01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,753
The answer is "stay in your head--"

1688
01:30:24,837 --> 01:30:25,838
Write it down.

1689
01:30:25,921 --> 01:30:28,382
"Stay in your head, you're dead."

1690
01:30:31,009 --> 01:30:35,430
However, for those of you that
managed to achieve no breakthroughs,

1691
01:30:35,514 --> 01:30:38,433
the good news is it's not over.

1692
01:30:40,936 --> 01:30:45,149
Tonight, you're gonna uncover something
that has controlled your entire life,

1693
01:30:45,232 --> 01:30:49,069
and you're gonna enhance it
or you're gonna transform it.

1694
01:30:51,321 --> 01:30:53,073
The way we're gonna do this

1695
01:30:53,157 --> 01:30:56,034
is you're gonna write down
your primary question.

1696
01:30:56,118 --> 01:31:00,330
Everyone has a question you ask
more often than anything else on Earth,

1697
01:31:00,414 --> 01:31:02,958
and here's why that's so important.

1698
01:31:03,041 --> 01:31:06,503
Questions control what you focus on.

1699
01:31:06,587 --> 01:31:11,216
What you focus on is what you feel.
What you feel is your experience of life.

1700
01:31:12,134 --> 01:31:14,511
And then you'll write down
your mission statement.

1701
01:31:14,595 --> 01:31:16,847
It's something really simple.

1702
01:31:16,930 --> 01:31:20,434
It's gonna be one core sentence

1703
01:31:20,517 --> 01:31:23,687
that's designed to be a trigger
for all that you are.

1704
01:31:24,688 --> 01:31:28,233
But you could write 20 pages
and it wouldn't be all you are.

1705
01:31:28,317 --> 01:31:31,987
We want one phrase that's gonna be really

1706
01:31:32,070 --> 01:31:35,407
what you're here to experience
and what you're here to give,

1707
01:31:35,490 --> 01:31:38,243
what you're here to be
and what you're here to do.

1708
01:31:38,994 --> 01:31:40,078
And then when you're done with that,

1709
01:31:40,162 --> 01:31:43,749
you're gonna make a poster
that has these distinctions.

1710
01:31:43,832 --> 01:31:46,210
You're gonna write your mission statement
across the top.

1711
01:31:46,293 --> 01:31:49,254
Below, you're gonna write
your new primary question.

1712
01:31:49,338 --> 01:31:52,341
You're gonna do your top four,
one-year goals.

1713
01:31:52,424 --> 01:31:54,343
And if you have
a relationship vision you like,

1714
01:31:54,426 --> 01:31:56,136
you can add that in the bottom corner.

1715
01:31:57,262 --> 01:31:58,805
Why are we doing this?

1716
01:31:58,889 --> 01:32:00,891
These are some
of the most important decisions

1717
01:32:00,974 --> 01:32:03,227
we've made over
the last five days together.

1718
01:32:03,310 --> 01:32:06,063
Decisions you're gonna make tonight.

1719
01:32:07,564 --> 01:32:09,107
They're why you came here.

1720
01:32:10,275 --> 01:32:11,735
And the decisions
you're gonna make tonight

1721
01:32:11,818 --> 01:32:14,112
are gonna touch you
and everyone you love.

1722
01:32:14,780 --> 01:32:16,240
We get to decide tonight,

1723
01:32:16,323 --> 01:32:19,618
"What are you made for
at this next stage of your life?

1724
01:32:19,701 --> 01:32:21,954
What are you gonna give?
What are you gonna become?

1725
01:32:22,037 --> 01:32:24,373
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna feel?"

1726
01:32:24,456 --> 01:32:27,417
Now is the time for us all to step up.

1727
01:32:27,501 --> 01:32:31,797
This next stage is a day
you'll remember as long as you live.

1728
01:32:32,756 --> 01:32:34,633
It'll be a new birthday for some of you.

1729
01:32:34,716 --> 01:32:37,177
A birth you created.

1730
01:32:37,261 --> 01:32:42,015
A birth of new values,
a new life, and a new direction.

1731
01:32:42,099 --> 01:32:43,809
So let's step up and make it happen now.

1732
01:32:59,199 --> 01:33:01,034
[panting]

1733
01:33:03,912 --> 01:33:06,581
[Tony] It may be my own bias,
but I really don't believe

1734
01:33:06,665 --> 01:33:09,835
people really feel fulfilled
staying where they are.

1735
01:33:09,918 --> 01:33:12,004
And the reason is life is growth.

1736
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,130
I don't care who it is.

1737
01:33:13,213 --> 01:33:15,549
Maybe for a period of time,
it's nice to have a respite and go,

1738
01:33:15,632 --> 01:33:16,675
"I kind of like being here.

1739
01:33:16,758 --> 01:33:20,804
I don't wanna go after something new.
Let me breathe and take it in."

1740
01:33:20,887 --> 01:33:21,930
[exhales]

1741
01:33:22,014 --> 01:33:25,600
But if you sit at the table of success
too long, you're gonna get bored.

1742
01:33:25,684 --> 01:33:26,810
Progress equals happiness.

1743
01:33:26,893 --> 01:33:28,478
If you're growing in anything,

1744
01:33:28,562 --> 01:33:32,065
financially, spiritually, emotionally,
in your relationship, in your body,

1745
01:33:32,149 --> 01:33:34,318
you're gonna feel better in your life.
That's what we're made for.

1746
01:33:34,401 --> 01:33:36,737
And I think we're meant to grow
so we have something to give.

1747
01:33:36,820 --> 01:33:38,864
You know, you can't give something
you really don't have.

1748
01:33:40,615 --> 01:33:42,659
On the very first day,
I just asked people,

1749
01:33:42,743 --> 01:33:44,911
"What is an extraordinary life for you?"

1750
01:33:44,995 --> 01:33:47,539
I want them to identify
what's life on their terms.

1751
01:33:47,622 --> 01:33:50,542
Is that building a garden
or writing poetry?

1752
01:33:50,625 --> 01:33:53,420
Then do that and feel it, right?
Really, don't settle.

1753
01:33:53,503 --> 01:33:55,088
Don't get caught up
in the other pieces there.

1754
01:33:55,172 --> 01:33:57,591
Or is there a dream
that you just give up on

1755
01:33:57,674 --> 01:34:01,345
that you're gonna pour yourself back into
just so you feel more alive?

1756
01:34:02,179 --> 01:34:05,057
I'm a big believer that's it's growth,
but there are so many paths,

1757
01:34:05,182 --> 01:34:07,392
[chuckling] and I don't have the delusion

1758
01:34:07,476 --> 01:34:12,272
that mine is the best or the only
or the right path or anything like that.

1759
01:34:12,356 --> 01:34:16,526
I'm just a path for somebody
who wants to try something new

1760
01:34:16,610 --> 01:34:18,945
and say, "I'm gonna look at humanity
through different eyes.

1761
01:34:19,029 --> 01:34:21,365
I'm gonna see myself
through different eyes,

1762
01:34:21,448 --> 01:34:25,660
and maybe feel a level of energy
I've not felt in decades, years, or ever.

1763
01:34:25,744 --> 01:34:28,955
And then I'm gonna take that
and go rip my life open to a new level."

1764
01:34:29,039 --> 01:34:30,624
That's who I'm for.

1765
01:34:46,473 --> 01:34:47,557
[Tad] Come on, everybody.

1766
01:34:48,683 --> 01:34:50,560
Doors are open.
We gotta get going.

1767
01:34:50,644 --> 01:34:53,939
Day six, "Date With Destiny."
The party's getting ready to start.

1768
01:34:54,022 --> 01:34:57,526
The best stuff is getting ready to happen.
You don't wanna miss it. Come on.

1769
01:34:57,609 --> 01:34:59,903
[Tony] Today, we're gonna take
every single thing,

1770
01:34:59,986 --> 01:35:02,531
every major decision we've made this week,

1771
01:35:02,614 --> 01:35:05,158
and we're gonna take it through a process

1772
01:35:05,242 --> 01:35:09,037
that's gonna take it from being
as thoughts or ideas or concepts

1773
01:35:09,121 --> 01:35:11,206
-into your body.
-[Tad] Doors are open!

1774
01:35:11,289 --> 01:35:13,583
Come on back.
Come on back, everybody.

1775
01:35:13,667 --> 01:35:14,960
Come on.

1776
01:35:15,043 --> 01:35:17,963
[Tony] How do we make sure
this continues and doesn't end here?

1777
01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:20,799
I'll tell you the secret.

1778
01:35:20,882 --> 01:35:24,469
I didn't go to an event one time
in my life and then I was fit for life.

1779
01:35:24,553 --> 01:35:26,930
So you have to have a daily practice.

1780
01:35:27,013 --> 01:35:29,433
The training never stops.

1781
01:35:29,516 --> 01:35:30,892
You need a system.

1782
01:35:30,976 --> 01:35:32,727
-How many agree? Say "aye."
-[audience] Aye!

1783
01:35:32,811 --> 01:35:34,396
Make that system work,
it'll make it happen.

1784
01:35:34,479 --> 01:35:38,442
So now, we are gonna take
that poster of yours

1785
01:35:38,525 --> 01:35:41,403
that has your mission statement,
your values,

1786
01:35:41,486 --> 01:35:44,656
and we're gonna take it and get it,
the core of it, in our nervous system.

1787
01:35:44,739 --> 01:35:45,907
And we're gonna do it this way.

1788
01:35:45,991 --> 01:35:48,827
You're gonna get with four people,
and this group's goal

1789
01:35:48,910 --> 01:35:53,081
is to help you to integrate completely
everything you've committed to here,

1790
01:35:53,165 --> 01:35:55,667
to own it in your nervous system,
one million percent.

1791
01:35:56,251 --> 01:35:57,419
You're gonna get up there and say,

1792
01:35:57,502 --> 01:36:01,381
"I, your name, see, hear, feel and know
that I am decisive!"

1793
01:36:01,465 --> 01:36:02,674
Whatever the fuck it is, right?

1794
01:36:02,757 --> 01:36:05,302
You're either gonna get it, you go, "Yes!"

1795
01:36:05,385 --> 01:36:08,096
If there's any ounce of it
that's not there, you say nothing.

1796
01:36:08,180 --> 01:36:10,849
You're gonna have to use
all your sensory acuity, your awareness,

1797
01:36:10,932 --> 01:36:12,309
be with this person.

1798
01:36:12,392 --> 01:36:15,395
And you're gonna have to feel,
do they completely own,

1799
01:36:15,479 --> 01:36:17,647
in every ounce of their soul,
what they just said?

1800
01:36:18,482 --> 01:36:20,233
I wanna warn you about something.

1801
01:36:20,317 --> 01:36:23,862
In this room,
it's gonna be incredibly loud.

1802
01:36:23,945 --> 01:36:26,781
I want you to have to fight to hear.

1803
01:36:26,865 --> 01:36:29,242
I want you to have to have
everything else trying to distract you

1804
01:36:29,326 --> 01:36:31,286
and you having to zero in
on this one person,

1805
01:36:31,369 --> 01:36:33,830
feeling them
with every possible distraction.

1806
01:36:33,914 --> 01:36:36,374
That's a muscle we all want, right?

1807
01:36:36,458 --> 01:36:39,002
Get your groups of four right now. Go.

1808
01:36:39,085 --> 01:36:40,670
[all clamoring]

1809
01:36:40,754 --> 01:36:45,258
I, Ryan, see, hear, feel and know
that I am bold.

1810
01:36:45,342 --> 01:36:46,843
[Dawn] I, Dawn,

1811
01:36:46,927 --> 01:36:53,683
see, hear, feel and know that I am love.

1812
01:36:53,767 --> 01:36:56,520
-What do I need, guys? Help me.
-[man] You were good.

1813
01:36:56,603 --> 01:36:58,813
When you say "love," you're not love.

1814
01:36:58,897 --> 01:37:02,108
Your love goes deep,
very deep inside of you,

1815
01:37:02,192 --> 01:37:06,530
real deep, very deep,
very, very, very fucking deep!

1816
01:37:06,613 --> 01:37:08,949
It's not deep.
It's very fucking deep, right?

1817
01:37:09,032 --> 01:37:11,201
-Okay.
-Okay. [chuckles]

1818
01:37:11,284 --> 01:37:13,703
[Tony] This is the point
that we've been working for

1819
01:37:13,787 --> 01:37:16,957
where you actually redesign
what you do with your life.

1820
01:37:17,040 --> 01:37:18,041
...and share them.

1821
01:37:18,124 --> 01:37:20,752
[Tony] When you guys change your
values, one of the most wild things is

1822
01:37:20,835 --> 01:37:22,629
some of you are gonna see things
you've never seen before.

1823
01:37:22,712 --> 01:37:25,590
Notice things you've never noticed,
feel things you've not felt before.

1824
01:37:25,674 --> 01:37:27,634
Because the priorities
of your nervous system,

1825
01:37:27,717 --> 01:37:29,469
-literally, will change.
-All right.

1826
01:37:29,553 --> 01:37:33,723
I, Derek, see, hear, feel and know
that I am passion!

1827
01:37:33,807 --> 01:37:34,849
Whoo!

1828
01:37:34,933 --> 01:37:36,851
-I get that shit.
-I didn't feel it. That was a lie.

1829
01:37:36,935 --> 01:37:38,603
[Tony] I think destiny is two things.

1830
01:37:38,687 --> 01:37:41,314
It's who you're gonna become,
and what're you gonna give in this life.

1831
01:37:41,398 --> 01:37:46,111
If you don't step up and be that person,
she's never gonna find him.

1832
01:37:46,194 --> 01:37:47,654
-Fuck that!
-You're the one

1833
01:37:47,737 --> 01:37:49,573
-that's gonna break the pattern.
-Fuck that!

1834
01:37:49,656 --> 01:37:51,366
-You're gonna break the pattern.
-Now!

1835
01:37:51,449 --> 01:37:55,287
[Tony] See, most people are so busy
surviving, making a living,

1836
01:37:55,370 --> 01:37:57,038
they never design a life.

1837
01:37:57,122 --> 01:37:58,456
And if you don't
take the time to design it,

1838
01:37:58,540 --> 01:38:00,959
which is what we're doing here,
you're gonna miss out.

1839
01:38:01,042 --> 01:38:03,128
I'm enough!
I have always been enough!

1840
01:38:03,211 --> 01:38:05,380
-I will always be enough!
-Yeah.

1841
01:38:05,463 --> 01:38:08,049
I know that you're enough!
As you are, you are enough!

1842
01:38:08,133 --> 01:38:09,634
How will this change your life forever?

1843
01:38:09,718 --> 01:38:12,095
[Tony] You'll snap your fingers,
and ten years will happen.

1844
01:38:12,178 --> 01:38:13,972
You'll look back and go,
"Where did it go?"

1845
01:38:14,055 --> 01:38:18,476
Ten years from now, we will surely arrive.
The question is, "Where?"

1846
01:38:18,560 --> 01:38:21,479
I, Brax, see, hear, feel and know...

1847
01:38:21,605 --> 01:38:26,651
...that I am love, I am strength,
I am wise, and I am passion!

1848
01:38:26,735 --> 01:38:28,403
[indistinct shouting]

1849
01:38:28,486 --> 01:38:30,947
[Tony] Anchor that into your body
right now, ladies and gentlemen.

1850
01:38:31,031 --> 01:38:32,866
[speaking French]

1851
01:38:32,949 --> 01:38:33,950
Yeah!

1852
01:38:34,034 --> 01:38:35,869
[crowd cheering]

1853
01:38:46,171 --> 01:38:47,839
Yes! Yes! Yes!

1854
01:39:01,686 --> 01:39:03,396
[Joe] What was the breakthrough
moment for you

1855
01:39:03,480 --> 01:39:04,564
where you really understood

1856
01:39:04,648 --> 01:39:07,776
that this was going to be
your mission in life?

1857
01:39:07,859 --> 01:39:10,528
I don't know if there's-- You know,
everybody wants to think of a moment.

1858
01:39:10,612 --> 01:39:12,364
I think life is many stacking
moments like that.

1859
01:39:12,447 --> 01:39:14,866
I don't think it's one moment where
suddenly you have this breakthrough.

1860
01:39:14,949 --> 01:39:16,368
I mean, it can happen that way.
I'm sure there are--

1861
01:39:16,451 --> 01:39:17,494
At times, it seems like that.

1862
01:39:17,577 --> 01:39:19,579
But I've had a pretty full life
so I don't know if there's one.

1863
01:39:20,872 --> 01:39:23,583
I do know that when I was a sophomore
in high school,

1864
01:39:23,667 --> 01:39:25,835
I had a forensics speech class,

1865
01:39:25,919 --> 01:39:30,173
and in that class, I was in love with
the senior high school song leader,

1866
01:39:30,256 --> 01:39:31,508
like every boy was.

1867
01:39:31,591 --> 01:39:34,469
And I was somewhat humorous,
and so I would crack her up.

1868
01:39:34,552 --> 01:39:36,262
I could make her laugh.
I got a lot of attention.

1869
01:39:36,346 --> 01:39:39,307
And I would do this
where I'd take over the whole class.

1870
01:39:39,391 --> 01:39:41,935
-It's like these two jury trials.
-[audience laughing]

1871
01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:43,937
Listen, since you're both in the room
at the same time,

1872
01:39:44,020 --> 01:39:45,313
let me just thank everybody.

1873
01:39:45,397 --> 01:39:47,065
I gotta say, uh--
I don't know, some of you--

1874
01:39:47,148 --> 01:39:49,818
Who's been with me more than ten years
of these events?

1875
01:39:49,901 --> 01:39:51,319
Look at this! Wow!

1876
01:39:51,403 --> 01:39:54,447
One day, the forensics speech teacher,
Mr. Cobb, he said,

1877
01:39:54,531 --> 01:39:57,742
"Mr. Robbins, you'll remain after class."

1878
01:39:57,826 --> 01:39:59,285
Pulls me aside after class.

1879
01:39:59,369 --> 01:40:01,996
And I'll never forget, I'm thinking,
"Oh, my God, I am so busted."

1880
01:40:02,080 --> 01:40:05,834
And he said, "You know why you're here?"
I said, "Yes, I know why I'm here, sir."

1881
01:40:05,917 --> 01:40:08,586
And he said, "No, you don't.
I can tell you don't."

1882
01:40:08,670 --> 01:40:10,755
He said, "I know who you are."

1883
01:40:10,839 --> 01:40:12,340
I said, "Excuse me?"

1884
01:40:12,424 --> 01:40:13,425
He said,

1885
01:40:13,508 --> 01:40:16,428
"I know you want the girl's attention.
That's not why you're here."

1886
01:40:16,511 --> 01:40:19,472
It's pretty rare to be able
to serve people in a state like this

1887
01:40:19,556 --> 01:40:22,434
where they come and they are willing
to put everything on the line

1888
01:40:22,517 --> 01:40:23,768
and they're willing to open up.

1889
01:40:23,852 --> 01:40:25,228
And I can't thank all of you staff

1890
01:40:25,311 --> 01:40:27,272
'cause it doesn't matter
what position you play,

1891
01:40:27,355 --> 01:40:29,023
you know, moving a chair
makes a difference,

1892
01:40:29,107 --> 01:40:30,275
bringing the water makes a difference.

1893
01:40:30,358 --> 01:40:32,610
'Cause when anything's missing,
the whole thing falls apart.

1894
01:40:33,111 --> 01:40:35,155
He said, "I have never seen anybody

1895
01:40:35,238 --> 01:40:37,699
who could just stand up
and speak with no notes,

1896
01:40:37,782 --> 01:40:39,993
look around at kids who won't listen

1897
01:40:40,076 --> 01:40:44,914
and mesmerize them
with just raw communication."

1898
01:40:44,998 --> 01:40:48,668
He said, "You're not a speaker."
He said, "You're a communicator."

1899
01:40:48,752 --> 01:40:51,296
And I was looking at him
like he was crazy.

1900
01:40:51,379 --> 01:40:53,381
And he said,
"I know more about your life, Mr. Robbins,

1901
01:40:53,465 --> 01:40:56,718
than you probably think I do
or you think anybody does.

1902
01:40:56,801 --> 01:40:59,554
I know about your home life."
I'm looking at him like, "What?"

1903
01:40:59,637 --> 01:41:01,347
And he goes,
"I wanted you to read this."

1904
01:41:01,431 --> 01:41:03,850
And he hands me this speech
and it was called The Will to Win.

1905
01:41:03,933 --> 01:41:05,351
And he said, "Just read it.

1906
01:41:05,435 --> 01:41:08,188
If it's not your life, give it back to me
and forget about it.

1907
01:41:08,313 --> 01:41:10,899
But if I've pegged you right,
then that speech is you.

1908
01:41:10,982 --> 01:41:15,236
And I want you to go compete at this
regional final in persuasive oratory."

1909
01:41:15,320 --> 01:41:19,574
To my leadership, it feels so incredible
that I can go full force into that room

1910
01:41:19,657 --> 01:41:21,284
and I know
that there are gonna be some people

1911
01:41:21,367 --> 01:41:23,745
that are gonna need
that individual attention,

1912
01:41:23,828 --> 01:41:25,872
and that you guys will grab 'em
and be on top of it,

1913
01:41:25,955 --> 01:41:28,208
and I think that's the gift
of this community we've built here

1914
01:41:28,291 --> 01:41:30,543
is we've raised the standard for caring.

1915
01:41:30,627 --> 01:41:32,462
And I read the speech
and I cried my eyes out.

1916
01:41:32,545 --> 01:41:35,381
And it was all about, um...

1917
01:41:35,465 --> 01:41:38,927
just never ever, ever, ever giving up.

1918
01:41:39,010 --> 01:41:42,055
Just pure will is what keeps you going.

1919
01:41:42,138 --> 01:41:45,225
At that stage of my life,
that's all it was, was pure will.

1920
01:41:45,308 --> 01:41:49,312
And, um, so I read that thing.
I said, "This is me,"

1921
01:41:49,395 --> 01:41:51,314
and I got up and I went
to this regional competition,

1922
01:41:51,397 --> 01:41:53,983
and I trounced everybody.
I won first place.

1923
01:41:54,067 --> 01:41:57,320
And I went to another one, and I won
first place, another one, first place.

1924
01:41:57,403 --> 01:41:59,239
-Let's grab a picture right here.
-[Tony] It was a

1925
01:41:59,322 --> 01:42:02,784
breakthrough because I began to realize
I had a way I can reach people.

1926
01:42:02,867 --> 01:42:05,161
So, I'm deeply touched
and I'm very grateful.

1927
01:42:05,245 --> 01:42:09,165
Thank you for being my partners
and creating another magnificent event

1928
01:42:09,249 --> 01:42:13,127
that those human beings
will never be the same again.

1929
01:42:14,337 --> 01:42:17,924
-Thank you so much. See you all back.
-Thank you. Thank you.

1930
01:42:18,842 --> 01:42:20,718
[inaudible]

1931
01:42:20,802 --> 01:42:22,387
[staff members cheering]

1932
01:42:23,638 --> 01:42:26,057
[Joe] Why is it still
an emotional experience

1933
01:42:26,140 --> 01:42:27,767
for you to even tell that story?

1934
01:42:28,393 --> 01:42:30,895
Because I see that as a moment of grace.

1935
01:42:30,979 --> 01:42:32,981
That man, you know, in my life,

1936
01:42:33,064 --> 01:42:35,400
handing me that letter,
seeing who I was in that moment,

1937
01:42:35,483 --> 01:42:36,776
that was grace.

1938
01:42:36,860 --> 01:42:39,320
There's a lot I've done,
but that was grace.

1939
01:42:39,404 --> 01:42:41,114
Um, I didn't create that.

1940
01:42:41,573 --> 01:42:44,534
And so, while I've done my part
to sculpt who I am,

1941
01:42:44,617 --> 01:42:47,036
and I've done a hell of a lot
about that to say the least,

1942
01:42:47,120 --> 01:42:48,872
and it never ends for me.

1943
01:42:48,955 --> 01:42:52,208
I also recognize [sputters] grace.

1944
01:42:53,960 --> 01:42:55,712
So it's a connection to the divine,

1945
01:42:55,795 --> 01:42:58,214
a connection to know that
it's more than you,

1946
01:42:58,965 --> 01:43:00,925
and I think that's a healthy thing.

1947
01:43:04,429 --> 01:43:06,097
Sometimes in life...

1948
01:43:06,806 --> 01:43:09,642
we're wanting to make steps forward

1949
01:43:09,726 --> 01:43:12,145
but there seems to be something
pulling us back.

1950
01:43:14,188 --> 01:43:18,026
The human consciousness
is an interesting device

1951
01:43:18,860 --> 01:43:21,571
in that the brain
is learning all the time.

1952
01:43:21,654 --> 01:43:25,241
And the brain's primary job
is to make sure you survive,

1953
01:43:25,325 --> 01:43:28,244
so it's always looking
what to protect you from.

1954
01:43:28,328 --> 01:43:31,497
And very often in life,
we have an experience,

1955
01:43:31,581 --> 01:43:33,416
and we react to that experience.

1956
01:43:33,499 --> 01:43:35,585
It's like a muscle contracting.

1957
01:43:35,668 --> 01:43:39,797
But then we keep it contracted.
We never, once it's safe, let go again.

1958
01:43:39,881 --> 01:43:41,841
And it limits what we can experience
in our life.

1959
01:43:43,301 --> 01:43:47,513
Freud figured out that if we could
go back to before the moment,

1960
01:43:47,597 --> 01:43:50,183
it could heal the moment
that was holding you

1961
01:43:50,266 --> 01:43:53,353
'cause you'd forgotten something
that would make you let go.

1962
01:43:53,895 --> 01:43:55,730
So, I'm gonna take you through
an experience of doing that

1963
01:43:55,813 --> 01:43:58,816
and this process,
you don't have to understand it.

1964
01:43:58,900 --> 01:44:00,735
This is a journey you're gonna go on.

1965
01:44:03,029 --> 01:44:05,615
You'll remember certain things.

1966
01:44:05,698 --> 01:44:06,908
And as you remember them,

1967
01:44:06,991 --> 01:44:10,203
you can make some new decisions
about what they mean

1968
01:44:10,286 --> 01:44:13,039
and how it might mean a new life to you.

1969
01:44:18,211 --> 01:44:21,047
I'm wondering what
your earliest memory is.

1970
01:44:23,341 --> 01:44:24,759
Where were you?

1971
01:44:25,718 --> 01:44:27,387
What were you experiencing?

1972
01:44:28,471 --> 01:44:30,181
What did it mean?

1973
01:44:31,099 --> 01:44:34,644
What did you decide back then?

1974
01:44:34,727 --> 01:44:37,522
It's a decision that affected
the way you think about life.

1975
01:44:39,732 --> 01:44:43,569
Okay, now lights down,
and we'll do our breath.

1976
01:44:43,653 --> 01:44:45,863
We're gonna rise up with our hands,

1977
01:44:45,947 --> 01:44:47,991
but as you do it,
you're taking the breath in.

1978
01:44:48,074 --> 01:44:49,325
[breathing forcefully]

1979
01:45:09,804 --> 01:45:11,806
Stop. Stop.

1980
01:45:12,724 --> 01:45:15,768
Hands relaxed.
Palms face up, relaxed.

1981
01:45:19,814 --> 01:45:21,774
Feel your body.

1982
01:45:25,236 --> 01:45:28,990
Feel how your breath has calmed your mind.

1983
01:45:31,576 --> 01:45:33,202
With your eyes remaining closed,

1984
01:45:33,286 --> 01:45:38,833
put both your hands on your heart
and breathe deep into your heart.

1985
01:45:48,009 --> 01:45:51,471
Breathe in your heart
and feel the strength of your heart.

1986
01:45:52,930 --> 01:45:56,100
Feel grateful for the gift of your heart.

1987
01:45:56,184 --> 01:45:58,603
For as long as it beats, you live.

1988
01:46:05,151 --> 01:46:07,904
I want you to think
of three moments in your life

1989
01:46:07,987 --> 01:46:11,574
that you could feel deeply grateful for
if you wanted to.

1990
01:46:13,409 --> 01:46:17,747
Just go on a journey of
one moment after the other of gratitude.

1991
01:46:26,798 --> 01:46:28,508
You may feel a hand touch your head.

1992
01:46:28,591 --> 01:46:33,638
If it does, just keep in
the state you're in and intensify.

1993
01:46:33,721 --> 01:46:37,016
If it doesn't,
you'll still feel the energy.

1994
01:46:37,100 --> 01:46:38,684
It'll be in you.

1995
01:46:43,898 --> 01:46:45,942
[children chattering indistinctly]

1996
01:47:03,251 --> 01:47:04,627
[Tony] Really go for it.

1997
01:47:04,710 --> 01:47:08,047
Step in the moment, like you're there,
looking through your own eyes,

1998
01:47:08,131 --> 01:47:11,008
seeing what you saw then,
feeling what you felt then,

1999
01:47:11,092 --> 01:47:12,093
appreciating...

2000
01:47:12,677 --> 01:47:14,262
[laughing]

2001
01:47:21,811 --> 01:47:24,313
[Tony] Feeling the blessing
of that moment.

2002
01:47:24,397 --> 01:47:28,025
What a blessing it was in your life,
how grateful you are.

2003
01:47:37,410 --> 01:47:39,996
Take in the gratitude of that moment.

2004
01:47:41,038 --> 01:47:42,290
Feel it.

2005
01:47:44,500 --> 01:47:47,795
Feel what it led to
that you feel so grateful for.

2006
01:47:48,504 --> 01:47:50,047
That it was a blessing.

2007
01:48:03,477 --> 01:48:07,940
In a few moments, you'll open your eyes,
feeling integrated, feeling strong...

2008
01:48:08,858 --> 01:48:12,737
feeling like a healing,
feeling filled with gratitude,

2009
01:48:12,820 --> 01:48:17,867
wanting to stretch,
to strengthen and to feel fully alive,

2010
01:48:18,784 --> 01:48:20,036
more than ever,

2011
01:48:20,119 --> 01:48:23,748
feeling at one with yourself
and one with life.

2012
01:48:25,041 --> 01:48:26,751
Where an energy will come through you

2013
01:48:26,834 --> 01:48:30,087
and you can celebrate that
with your voice in that moment.

2014
01:48:30,171 --> 01:48:31,172
Get ready.

2015
01:48:32,673 --> 01:48:35,301
Open your eyes whenever you're ready.

2016
01:48:35,384 --> 01:48:37,970
And when you want, you can stand...

2017
01:48:39,388 --> 01:48:41,015
and you can begin to stretch,

2018
01:48:41,098 --> 01:48:45,061
and you can feel the energy
build inside you.

2019
01:48:45,144 --> 01:48:46,771
Let it build.

2020
01:48:46,854 --> 01:48:52,026
And then make a sound
of total joy, total excitement.

2021
01:48:52,109 --> 01:48:54,278
One, two, three, go!

2022
01:48:54,362 --> 01:48:56,697
[audience cheering]

2023
01:49:37,530 --> 01:49:40,199
Feel the guidance that never leaves us.

2024
01:49:41,367 --> 01:49:45,079
Take everything in here
so you can take it home forever.

2025
01:49:46,455 --> 01:49:50,835
Breathe it, feel it, own it,
tonight and every night.

2026
01:49:52,670 --> 01:49:56,132
You take the greatest gifts of all home,
who you've become,

2027
01:49:57,049 --> 01:49:59,677
the choices you've made,

2028
01:49:59,760 --> 01:50:03,014
the strength, the love,
the commitment in your heart.

2029
01:50:04,557 --> 01:50:08,185
And the sound will always
bring you back to this moment.

2030
01:50:08,269 --> 01:50:13,899
One, two, three!
Make the sound of who you are!

2031
01:50:13,983 --> 01:50:16,027
[audience cheering]

2032
01:50:35,713 --> 01:50:38,674
We've been on a little journey.

2033
01:50:38,758 --> 01:50:40,509
It wasn't a trip.

2034
01:50:40,593 --> 01:50:44,138
A trip is predictable.
A trip is boring.

2035
01:50:44,221 --> 01:50:48,309
A journey has all kinds
of discoveries, doesn't it?

2036
01:50:48,392 --> 01:50:49,935
[audience cheering]

2037
01:50:50,019 --> 01:50:53,731
Did you discover some new friends?

2038
01:50:53,814 --> 01:50:56,817
Did you discover some new feelings?

2039
01:50:56,901 --> 01:50:59,779
Did you discover a new you?

2040
01:51:02,948 --> 01:51:05,034
So, just for a moment,

2041
01:51:05,117 --> 01:51:09,997
think about if you go to a great concert,
what are you looking to feel?

2042
01:51:10,081 --> 01:51:12,291
Fully alive, isn't it?

2043
01:51:12,375 --> 01:51:14,335
Here, you were the concert.

2044
01:51:14,418 --> 01:51:18,923
The concert was a family
of people from 71 countries

2045
01:51:19,006 --> 01:51:23,386
who came together to create music,
magic, a transformation.

2046
01:51:26,597 --> 01:51:30,935
We brought our desire,
our hunger, our love, our caring,

2047
01:51:31,018 --> 01:51:34,730
and we left our fear,
our limitations, our frustration

2048
01:51:34,814 --> 01:51:36,607
and our fucking past behind.

2049
01:51:36,690 --> 01:51:39,693
That's what we did here,
ladies and gentlemen.

2050
01:51:41,445 --> 01:51:43,280
It's been a privilege to serve you.

2051
01:51:43,364 --> 01:51:46,826
We've laughed, we've cried,
we've broken through.

2052
01:51:47,952 --> 01:51:52,581
It was a blind date with destiny.
How did she turn out, that date, for you?

2053
01:51:52,665 --> 01:51:54,458
[audience cheering]

2054
01:51:56,669 --> 01:51:58,879
Until we meet again, hopefully soon,

2055
01:51:58,963 --> 01:52:02,758
make your life a masterpiece,
my dear friends. God bless you.

2056
01:52:12,977 --> 01:52:15,438
[Dawn] This whole week here
and "Date With Destiny"

2057
01:52:15,563 --> 01:52:19,483
was just a confirmation
that by expressing myself

2058
01:52:19,567 --> 01:52:24,947
and just not being afraid to be judged
or, you know, to let that out,

2059
01:52:25,030 --> 01:52:26,907
it touched so many people.

2060
01:52:26,991 --> 01:52:30,578
So, that's what I wanna do for the rest
of my life, and I don't wanna have fear.

2061
01:52:30,661 --> 01:52:34,832
I wanna let that shine.
And so I'm excited about that. [chuckles]

2062
01:52:44,508 --> 01:52:47,094
[Matyas] It meant a lot to me,
the support of other people.

2063
01:52:47,178 --> 01:52:49,805
There was a point when I felt, uh,

2064
01:52:49,889 --> 01:52:53,350
"Yeah, I can trust.
I'm in the right place."

2065
01:53:00,399 --> 01:53:03,068
[Hali] Everybody wants to know
what happened after the call.

2066
01:53:03,152 --> 01:53:07,531
I feel like I came in here
and I had the weight of the world with me,

2067
01:53:07,615 --> 01:53:11,035
and I feel like I set it down
and I don't wanna pick it back up.

2068
01:53:19,668 --> 01:53:24,757
Pretty much after I contacted my dad,
I was able to stay in contact with him.

2069
01:53:24,840 --> 01:53:28,302
We've been texting and talking
to each other every day.

2070
01:53:28,385 --> 01:53:30,804
I think everything in my life
will just be a lot better.

2071
01:53:30,888 --> 01:53:32,389
I'll see my dad a lot more.

2072
01:53:33,307 --> 01:53:36,185
I definitely want him to be
a big part of my life again.

2073
01:53:49,114 --> 01:53:50,908
[Lance] Knowing that
she's got my back now,

2074
01:53:50,991 --> 01:53:53,452
we can push forward
and conquer our dreams,

2075
01:53:53,536 --> 01:53:54,703
and it's just amazing.

2076
01:53:55,704 --> 01:53:57,915
[Tammi] I mean, it makes me so happy

2077
01:53:57,998 --> 01:54:01,335
because now I get to choose
the stuff that makes me light up.

2078
01:54:14,515 --> 01:54:18,060
[Tony] The idea that I can start
a chain reaction of transformation

2079
01:54:18,143 --> 01:54:21,105
where people--
each one teach one.

2080
01:54:21,230 --> 01:54:23,899
You know, I can teach them
and they go teach someone else.

2081
01:54:23,983 --> 01:54:26,277
When I think about the families
who were touched by this week,

2082
01:54:26,360 --> 01:54:29,071
when I think about
the businesses and employees,

2083
01:54:29,154 --> 01:54:30,781
that makes the whole thing worthwhile.

2084
01:54:32,283 --> 01:54:34,118
[Joe] What do you hope
that this film will capture?

2085
01:54:34,201 --> 01:54:37,496
[Tony] My hope is that maybe somebody
will watch this film and say, "Oh, wow.

2086
01:54:37,580 --> 01:54:40,457
It was really beautiful
to watch these people transform."

2087
01:54:40,541 --> 01:54:41,584
Just watch it for that,

2088
01:54:41,667 --> 01:54:44,670
and maybe that'll make them think about
what's possible for themselves.

2089
01:54:44,753 --> 01:54:46,422
[Joe] What about giving people
a better understanding

2090
01:54:46,505 --> 01:54:48,090
of who Tony Robbins is?

2091
01:54:48,173 --> 01:54:51,343
I don't know that many people
give a shit. [laughing]

2092
01:54:51,427 --> 01:54:54,054
Honestly, if that's what
your film's success is based on,

2093
01:54:54,138 --> 01:54:55,180
I think you're in trouble.

2094
01:54:55,306 --> 01:54:57,141
I think it's gotta be based on
something bigger than that.

2095
01:54:57,224 --> 01:55:01,979
I think it's gotta be based on
what makes human beings fulfilled,

2096
01:55:02,062 --> 01:55:03,898
what makes them alive,
what makes them hungry,

2097
01:55:03,981 --> 01:55:05,274
what makes them change.

2098
01:55:05,357 --> 01:55:07,318
You know, we all know that
change can happen in a moment,

2099
01:55:07,401 --> 01:55:09,153
but we're afraid it won't last.

2100
01:55:09,236 --> 01:55:12,156
How is it that people
can make lasting changes in minutes?

2101
01:55:12,239 --> 01:55:15,993
What makes that possible,
and is it really real?

2102
01:55:16,076 --> 01:55:19,580
And can I taste it and feel it,
and could I experience it myself?

2103
01:55:19,663 --> 01:55:19,580
I think that's a hell of a lot more
interesting than, you know, Tony Robbins.