(hindi music playing)
(music stops)
Lobster fennel.
Okay, chard, arugula, mesclun, radicchio.
Okay? No beet greens, no beet greens.
Tell eduardo that dairy delivery gets here at 10:00, not 10:15, not 10:30.
Okay, go, go. Freddie, what the hell is this?
Salmon. Salmon. I know it's salmon,
But why does it have scales and a mouth?
If we serve it like that, it'll scare the customers, right?
I just thought... Yeah, don't think.
Fillet, fillet like the wind, freddie.
Two beef, one salmon, one rib.
Two beef, one rib.
Chicken's up, lobster's up, how long on that snapper, freddie?
Freddie: Thirty seconds. Ladies.
Samir, what's the word, stud?
Steady as she goes, chef.
That's my boy. That's my boy right here.
Who do we have this week? Oh, henna.
Okay, you know what? Give me that.
Horny henna? Heterosexual henna? Just give me it.
Honey-dipped henna?
Just give me that.
You know, I'm gonna give your mom my e-mail address,
She's obviously wasting her time on you.
You know what? You are a sick man, and I have to go.
Hey.
Please try.
Okay.
Henna: So, you're a cook?
Yeah, I'm a sous-chef right now.
The sous-chef is the, you know,
And oversees all the cooking, takes care of administration, inventory,
And basically solves any problems that come up.
And the chef is the one who gets all the credit, so...
It's not easy to get to be the chef,
But my boss is part-owner of a restaurant
And that looks like that job is pretty much mine for the asking, so...
So...
If we get married, I want to have a lot of children,
And my mother would live with us.
Samir: All right, okay, chard, arugula, mesclun, radicchio.
Go, go, go, go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop, whoa.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Right, it's called cilantro oil, not cilantro water.
Right. The thing is, your cilantro oil was coming out flavorless,
So, I'm finishing it with water instead of oil.
You changed it?
Okay, you just transferred here from red grill?
Yeah. Okay, carrie,
If this is not the best cilantro oil
That I've ever tasted in my entire life,
You'll be back at red grill by dinnertime.
Get your hair out of your face.
This is a kitchen, not a rock concert.
How's everyone doing? All right? Rosie, what's good?
Thank you. Louis?
Watch that seasoning, son, all right?
Louis: Got it, chef.
You can talk to him now.
Do it now, don't be a pussy.
Shut the fuck up.
Chef, chef, I wanted to...
(all exclaiming)
It's not my fault.
Is that table 11?
That better not be 11.
I've got vips on 11. I got it.
Come on, let's go. Chop, chop.
Samir: I'm gonna need this.
Coming through, corner.
Okay, thank you, freddie. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yo, this is for table 23.
Yeah, don't worry, freddie.
Hey, wait, that's 16's salmons.
Don't worry. Hang in there. Samir.
Pea puree. Carrie: Pea puree.
Potato puree. Potato puree.
Saffron. Saffron.
Turnip.
Cabbage.
Team work.
(indistinct chattering)
(inaudible)
(hindi music playing)
44th and 10th.
Are you indian?
Yeah.
(speaking hindi)
No.
(exclaims)
(truck horn blows)
Whoa, hey, hey, watch it. Watch it.
So, what's your name?
Samir.
What do you do?
I'm a chef.
You...
Oh, really?
Hey, that's wonderful!
You know, I used to cook for the oberoi sheraton.
The finest hotel kitchen in all of mumbai. Whoa.
I met indira gandhi when she came there for a banquet.
I created a special pulao in her honor,
And she was so taken by it, that she came
Back to the kitchen to thank me personally.
Hey, hey, hey, whoa, watch it. Watch it.
So, do you cook indian food?
I make a murghi masala that will haunt you like a lost love.
Okay, could we just not talk, please?
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure, boss. Sure.
(tires screech)
(taxi reversing)
Hey, mr. Samir. Better keep my card.
Samir: Ken fucking curzon?
Just calm down, buddy, all right?
Dude, this is my job.
This is my job, you know it is.
And you give it to fucking 25-year-old
Fucking ken fucking curzon? Come on!
I know you're upset. I'm upset.
Yes, I am upset.
I have six years in the line, I have two as your sous-chef.
I know, pal, and you're the best damn sous-chef I've got, okay?
Oh, great. But what?
Huh?
Look, samir.
Samir, you...
You are an incredible cook.
All right?
But to be the chef, that's, I mean,
You got to be more than just a good cook, man. You know?
No, no. You've got to be a creative force.
You've got to be the man with the magic.
The bing, the bang, the boom, the pop.
And ken curzon, he may be 25 years old, but he's got that magic.
When he slices salmon, it's fucking pornographic.
I get a boner watching this guy cook.
That's a chef.
Frankly, samir, I know you've been doing this for a few years,
But your cooking's cold.
I'm sorry, buddy, but you know what, it's paint by numbers.
It's by the book. And as a businessman, I have to ask myself,
"where's the magic?
"where's the emotion?
"where's my boner?" hmm?
Hey, hey. Samir! Where're you going, buddy?
I heard you quit, I'm sorry about that.
It's all for the best, you know.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to paris.
You got a job in paris?
Yeah, I'm going to stage with jacques renaud.
Really?
At la cantatrice?
Yeah.
Wow, that's amazing.
Well, it's just a stage, you know.
Call me crazy, but most people would seem happy about it.
I am happy.
Good luck.
Wait.
Here.
Wow.
This is good stuff. Thanks.
If you're gonna be working in this madhouse,
You're gonna need it more than me.
(woman speaking instructional french)
(translating) I need directions to the discotheque.
Stanton: You know, you don't have to actually go to paris,
No, no. No, no, no, no. No, you don't understand.
This was me telling myself what I already knew,
But I didn't know yet.
Right.
Samir: Look, I go to paris,
I stage with the great ones.
Renaud, verge, robuchon, troisgros. Whoever will take me in.
But you know what? When I get back,
Doors are gonna fly open for me
That I didn't even know existed.
Stanton: Have you told your folks yet?
I've been waiting.
For what?
The last minute.
Shoes.
Samir. Oh!
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
Aw! (chuckles)
(chanting indistinctly)
Hi, mom.
So...
So?
What happened with that girl, henna?
How did it go, beta?
Mmm...
Oh, samir.
Why am I breaking my head?
I don't know, ma.
Beta, how will I answer god,
If you're still without a family when I'm gone?
Mom, listen.
Okay, all right. I need to talk...
Never mind. Chalo.
There's more than just fish in the sea. Come on.
What about her?
Ma, I don't think that would work.
Why not? What's wrong with her?
I just don't like architects.
Oh, beta. You're too old to be this picky.
Ma. I have some news.
Where is shereen from connecticut?
I know I bookmarked her.
Okay, ma, listen. Um, I need to talk to you, okay?
She used to be a waitress, working in a restaurant, just like you.
I'm not a... I'm not a waitress working in...
Okay, look.
I just e-mailed this to you.
Now, you make sure that you call her when you get home.
Where's dad? Is he at the restaurant?
Yes, yes.
Rasool is delivering the meat this morning,
So, of course, your father has to go
Down there to be cheated in person.
Beta.
You'll end up with a widow.
(door closes)
(hindi music playing)
Samir.
Oh, hello, uncles.
A table for one, sir?
Oh, no, I'm fine.
Hey, man, I was just thinking about him
And here come the manhattan son.
Patel: Hey, did you read?
We beat the bloody brits in the second test.
Oh, you know, I don't follow cricket, uncle.
You see? This is the bloody problem with our children.
No culture. Cricket is culture.
Yeah.
Cricket is the gentleman game.
Exactly.
You have to wear a sweater.
I'm gonna go find my dad.
Oh!
Ow!
You really shouldn't put that there.
Rasool: Khuda hafiz, hakim-bhai.
Hakim: Ah, thank you, rasool-bhai.
(speaking hindi)
(both chuckle)
Khuda hafiz.
Bloody bastard crook.
Look at this bullshit.
(engine starting)
Dad.
Hakim: Samir?
Everything okay? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Everything is great.
Okay.
I just wanted to let you know that
Even though the reason that I actually came...
New clothes? Hmm?
No.
(speaking hindi)
Maaf karna, I'm sorry, boss. (cell phone ringing)
"maaf karna, sorry, boss."
Huh!
(coughs) hello?
(shouting)
I told you I sent it on Thursday.
What you mean it bounced?
Wait, wait, wait.
Uh, just calm down, calm down.
Hello? I'll call you back.
I have a bad connection. I can't hear you.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Um... (coughs)
So, dad, I wanted to tell you that I'm probably...
Hey! Hey.
Hello.
(laughs) hello.
Please, please come in.
We are going to be open for lunch in just five minutes.
Oh, we were just looking at the menu, thank you.
You can eat in, take away,
Whatever your pleasure.
Free papadam.
(sighs)
Listen, dad, I...
I need to tell you something, okay?
So tell.
I'm going to paris.
Why?
Well, I quit my job.
Why?
Well, I'm doing a stage
With this very, very important chef.
Stage.
What is stage?
(stammering) well, it's like a job.
Like a job.
I see. What does it pay?
This "like a job"?
It doesn't pay anything, okay?
It's like an apprenticeship.
I see.
So you are quitting your job where you are making money
To go to France to do the same job, mmm?
For free?
You are a bloody brilliant businessman.
I didn't come here to argue with you, okay?
That this could be a tremendous opportunity.
For what? Going backwards?
What's wrong with you?
Do you know that you're a bloody old man?
Keep it down. If your brother were alive today...
He would've been a doctor and you would've been respected,
And he would've had a wife, and a family and kids,
I understand and I'm doing nothing...
Badtameez!
You are making mockery of your brother's memory.
I'm not making a mockery, okay? I'm just...
Your poor mother still thinks a woman will make you change.
But you are not interested in bloody anything.
Money, business, a career, wife, family. Nothing?
You just want to be a loser.
So, go, go, go.
Go to France, go to England, go to china.
Marry a bloody chinese clown-girl,
And invite your mother to come and cry at the bloody wedding!
Dad, relax, all right? Would you just...
(coughing) I just came to tell you...
You okay?
(wheezing)
Dad. Dad!
Samir. Samir.
Dad? Dad, come down, come down. Oh, my god.
Here, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, okay.
You okay? You okay? Dad, sit down, sit down.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Dad!
Call 911! Call 911!
Dad. Dad! Dad. Help.
That boy's killed his father.
Dad. You're gonna be fine, okay? Don't worry.
Don't worry, ma.
I'll take care of the restaurant.
(laughing)
(hindi music playing)
Yeah, hi, jfk to paris.
Um, next week. Yeah, the 13th.
Okay.
I'll hold, yes.
So this guy, he rips the teabag,
And pours it into the water.
I don't like teabags.
Will you shut up?
So I tell him, "arre-bhai, that's not the way you do it.
"you take the teabag and you dip it into the water like this."
Okay, so now he's very thankful.
So I go to the toilet, and when I come back, guess what?
He's putting the sugar packets into the water.
Thank you, bhai, you ruined my joke!
Huh, it is old joke.
Not as old as you.
Loose tea is better.
Never mind the tea business.
He's giving you the joke, listen.
But loose tea is better.
(hindi music playing) but loose tea is better.
He's giving you the joke and you say, "tea, tea, tea."
Loose tea is better.
Loose tea is better, yes.
That bloody restaurant will be the death of you.
Hakim: I know.
I don't want.
And now, this bloody heart-attack-whart-attack business.
No good.
Honestly, no good.
Hakim, you've got to get smart.
I'm telling you, franchising is the wave of the future.
And of course, I'll make you full partner-whartner, that is not the issue.
Let me think it over.
Mmm.
Did I show you? My nimith is on msnbc.
Really?
Talking about municipal bonds and such matters, you see?
Very good.
...The government has put into the economy.
That they essentially primed the pump. So, with the s&p right now...
My ali used to listen to me.
But samir...
I don't know.
He has always defied me.
Never wanted to listen.
And now it's too late.
Hakim-bhai.
It's never too late to be a father.
Sure, easy for you to say.
(sighs)
Foot massage?
(moaning) that feels so good.
(chuckles)
Do you remember when you and ali massaged my feet?
And as a joke, you rubbed blue ink all over them.
(both chuckling)
For two weeks, I had blue feet.
And then mrs. Sanchez, right, she thought that it was a religious thing
Because she'd seen a picture of a hindu god that was blue.
Listen, ma, I looked at the books.
It's pretty bad.
He's not even making any money anymore.
You should just sell the place to amit-uncle,
He'll give you a good price for it.
He'll turn it into some franchise.
Kfc. So what?
When you look at the restaurant,
All you see is peeling paint, broken chairs...
You know your dad never wanted to run a restaurant.
He dreamed of being a doctor.
I know, I know, I know, and dada couldn't
Afford to send him to medical school,
So he came to this country instead. I know this story, ma.
Do you?
Do you know that when he came to this country,
He became a third-class citizen?
America wasn't like it is today.
People had never seen an indian before.
He worked as a janitor.
He worked as a dishwasher in a white man's restaurant.
He was so determined.
And slowly, slowly,
He saved up enough money to start his own business.
He worked 18 hours a day,
Just so that he wouldn't have to tell his children
That he couldn't afford to send them to college.
And now, one son is gone.
And the other son only sees his failure.
Doctor: He's a fighter, but remember, his heart is still weak.
He should stay home the next couple of weeks, you know, take it easy.
Make sure you monitor his blood pressure regularly,
And above all, no stress.
You hear that, hakim? No stress.
I'm not deaf, woman.
(sniffs)
(woman translating) please, madam, my cat is stuck in your tree.
Excuse me, waiter?
Repeat after m. Waiter!
Hello.
Yes, yes.
This is what you serve to your customers?
This greasy slop?
Oh.
You should be ashamed of yourselves. Excuse me.
Stop eating, come on.
I've had high blood-pressure.
I didn't want to come to this place.
I can't believe you brought me here.
Samir: Hey, hey, listen to me.
This is too greasy.
Okay? Look at this grease. Look at that, okay?
It's too much. The customers are complaining.
Okay? Too much ghee.
Ghee. Ghee, there's too much ghee. Too much.
I'm talking to you here.
And this. This is a health violation, all right?
This has to go in the trash.
Okay? It's disgusting.
Oh!
Fuck!
Fuck! Look at this.
Fuck?
Look at my shirt? Fuck?
You fuck to me?
What? I fuck to you.
What? You fuck to me, I fuck to you!
What? Where are you going? I finish.
Where are you going?
What's he... What are you doing?
Hey.
Hey, hey! Come back. What the...
(indistinct arguing)
Don't speak to me!
Hey, hey, you can't quit.
Health violation...
This is your job!
Big shit, I am leaving.
What? Okay, come back. That's over. Over!
Uh-uh, come finish.
Hey!
Great!
Just be a few more minutes.
Tikka masala, tikka masala.
Okay. Onions, garlic... Okay, onions.
Um...
Onions... Ah!
Onions.
Okay, lamb, lamb, lamb.
Is this lamb or beef?
Yes?
No, what kind of meat is this?
Yes?
Thanks for your help.
(sniffing)
(exhales)
Let's call it lamb, shall we?
Yes?
Thought so.
Okay. Garam masala. Garam masala.
No.
Garam masala? Garam masala? Yeah. Okay.
(containers clattering)
Thank you, pierre.
Two saag paneer, one palak paneer, one chicken vindaloo.
Yeah, seven naan. Seven, okay?
Yeah, it's tandoori palace, 7414 37th avenue. Yeah.
I know it's an indian restaurant.
Just come to the back. Yeah.
Okay, credit card is...
Oh! Oh, shit!
Have you any idea how many taxi drivers
There are in new york named akbar?
Okay, well,
He said he was an amazing cook
And he used to cook for indira gandhi.
No, man, good luck to you.
Well, I guess I'll just have to go and beg
Munnamia to come back and cook for us.
No wait! No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Whoever he is, we'll find him. Whoever he is.
(all speaking hindi)
(speaking hindi)
Wow! Hey!
Um, thank you very much.
Look, this would not be a permanent position or anything like that.
Oh! That's perfectly all right.
I've never had a permanent position in my life.
Oh.
Oh, that's quite an accomplishment.
Okay, so it's a standard menu, pretty much.
Whoa, what is it? What are you doing?
Hmm! Masala.
(hindi music playing)
Masala is the soul of indian food.
And food is the soul of india.
Smell it.
Of course you can't really tell until it's in the oil.
The masala is the symphony,
And the oil is the orchestra.
The greatest chef in the world taught me that.
Really, who?
My mother.
(chuckles)
(speaking hindi)
Come on, come on! Move!
(akbar speaking urdu)
A man should have three passions in his life.
His country, his religion and his cricket.
What about his wife?
Wife is not a passion. Wife is an expense.
(chuckling)
Oh, man.
Oh, there.
It was wonderful!
We're going to tell everyone we know.
And she knows everyone.
Good night. Thank you again. Lovely!
Wonderful meal! Good luck to you. It's been a pleasure.
We'll see you again.
Okay, bye-bye. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Woman: Oh! Lester, what's gotten into you?
Delivery man not back yet.
Oh. And we have backup.
Uh, backup? Well, who goes usually?
It's never happened before.
Oh, man!
Oh, no!
You okay...
Oh, samir?
Hey, hi.
Hi. Yeah.
(laughs)
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Well, what... What are you doing here?
Oh, we live here. We live over on 78th street.
And this is my daughter, abigail.
Oh. Hi, abigail.
Well, what are you doing here?
I mean, shouldn't you be off in paris making terrines or something?
Yeah, no, I'm doing that.
Yeah, I just got a little bit delayed.
Just had a family emergency.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
No, it's totally fine. It's all good.
(both exclaiming)
Oh, god!
Okay. Well, maybe "fine" is not the word.
(laughs)
Mmm, this is really good.
Really?
Yeah, it's... Where's this from?
Um, well, it's... My family owns a restaurant
On 74th street. Tandoori palace.
That's why I'm helping out making deliveries.
I know that place, I used to go there all the time
When I first moved here from buffalo.
But I don't remember it being this good.
Back then, all I could afford was the free papadam.
(chuckles)
Um, we're going this way.
Oh, okay. But...
Pumpkin, look at your face. It's all over you.
Do you mind? I need to get a wet nap for her.
Uh... Please?
Okay, okay. All right. Thanks.
Hi. Hi, pumpkin.
Thank you. Hi.
All right. Oh, gosh!
Uh, you know what? I actually have a napkin.
I think I can probably take care of it.
There you go, there.
She has very good taste. It's one of our most favorite dishes.
Okay, I think she's clean.
Well, thank you. Say, "thank you."
Thanks. And, uh...
Okay, I'll see you.
See you. See you around. Yeah.
Good to see you.
Hey.
Get together sometime and get a bite to eat.
Yeah, sure.
But only because we're neighbors.
Right.
And I'm off on wednesdays.
Yeah, I know. I made the schedule.
Thank you. Everything was delicious.
Thank you.
I've never tasted curries like that.
Well, that's that.
Shall we settle up?
Yes. So, I was hoping that maybe you'd come back tomorrow
Or finish out the week if you're free.
Well, yeah, of course I'm free, but as for coming back,
I'll think it over. Hmm?
Well, when will you know for sure?
Um...
Tell you what, may I borrow your pen?
Hold that for a second.
I'll give you my address,
You come over to my house tomorrow morning,
And we'll discuss issues large and small.
(alarms blaring)
Hakim: Wake up! Samir!
(metallic banging)
Wake up!
Ow!
Wake up, samir!
Wake...
Okay, all right, okay.
What's happening? What?
Go, wash yourself. It's time for morning prayers.
When did you become religious?
Hakim! Hakim, are you all right?
Please, woman, you stay out of this.
I'm teaching our son how to say his morning prayers.
When did you become religious?
Just follow my movements, huh?
Okay. I'm going to pray aloud.
No, no, no. Don't be crazy. Come on.
Shh! This is...
Stop talking.
(clears throat)
Okay, just be careful, all right?
Follow my hands.
Allah... (all exclaiming)
You see! You see? This is what happens.
Okay? You can't do this. Come on, hakim.
Would you just, please, sit down. Don't do this.
Sit down! Jesus!
Never mind bloody jesus.
Jesus is not going to teach you namaz.
Nobody is going to teach you namaz! Only me, your father.
Please, please, woman, please.
You have never wanted to learn anything from me.
Never wanted to listen to me about anything in life.
Okay, okay. Please stop.
And now, now...
Okay, you know what? I'm done. Okay? I'm out of here.
All right, I have to go.
Beta, it's 6:00 in the morning.
I'm meeting someone for breakfast.
Meeting? Whom are you meeting?
Samir: Nobody you know.
See what you did? Now he has a meeting.
Please, please, woman.
I'm sorry I'm a little early.
You're right on time, my friend. Come on in.
That was a present from the granddaughter of a maharaja.
Oh! Wow, it's beautiful.
You didn't need to go to all this trouble, really.
No trouble at all.
Sharing breakfast with someone is very good for the digestive system.
Wow!
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, my god!
Is that you with the queen of England?
(laughing) yeah, yeah.
You know, I was in charge of an orphanage in delhi way back in the '60s.
She came over for a visit.
What a wonderful, wonderful woman.
Such a pity about her kids.
Wait, I thought you said that you were a cook in mumbai.
That was after I came back from pakistan.
I was in partnership with three pakistani guys in karachi.
We were all going to be bloody millionaires.
Hmm, I thought my future was worked out.
I even proposed to the daughter of a wealthy nutmeg merchant.
Oh, you can't believe how good she smelt.
(chuckles) really? Hmm.
And then her father married her off
To a carpet tycoon from kashmir.
Never heard from her again.
Hmm.
You ever think about her? Hmm.
Every time I drink eggnog.
(laughs)
How is the dosa?
It's good. Mmm.
It's... It's really good.
How do you... How do you get this texture?
Ah, you noticed?
Mmm-hmm.
It's the stone.
A griddle has a will of its own. But with a dosa stone,
You can determine the character of the dosa according to your mood.
Hmm. Seems like you're in a pretty good mood today.
Wish I could say the same about you.
Well,
I had some plans that changed.
Ah! I had a million and one plans that changed.
(chuckles) even the ones that worked out didn't work out the way I had planned.
Listen, um...
About the restaurant, I was...
Hmm. Come on, let's go.
Cumin. Cumin. It's a saucy wench.
Give you great pleasure, but she herself is never satisfied,
So be careful.
Okay.
Coriander seed,
Like a young girl walking through a lemon grove by the ocean,
Wondering what her future holds.
Ah! Cloves and cinnamon.
(inhales deeply)
Hmm, like a crazy aunt and uncle.
Very noisy, very funny, very opinionated.
But a little goes a long way.
And turmeric.
(inhales deeply)
Ah! Glee! The golden spice.
Makes everything glow.
You know we used to use turmeric
To color the elephants at the delhi circus?
You were with the circus?
Yes, of course I was with the circus.
Come on, come on, you're lagging.
Whoa! Don't you want to measure that?
A man who measures life will never know his own measure.
What, did you read that on a fortune cookie?
Actually, yes.
So what, you never use a recipe?
Everything I need is here, here and here.
And a little bit here.
All right.
Here, come on, you try it. Me?
Yeah, of course you, who else?
No, no, I don't work like that.
Well, come on, give it a try, my friend. Come on!
Come on!
I don't even know the proportions.
Oh! Guess-timate!
(samir sighs)
(coughing)
I thought you said you couldn't tell until it was in the oil.
Um, sometimes you can tell.
(sighs)
(sniffling)
I'm sorry, is everything okay?
It's delicious.
It reminds me of my grandmother cooking back home.
How happy I was then, you know.
It's so spicy.
(exhales)
Farrida: Samir, are you in there?
Mom, I'm on the phone. I'm busy.
Why are you taking the phone in the toilet?
Mom, I just want some privacy, okay?
Samir, are you doing phone sex?
Mom.
(knocking)
What?
Samir, please be a good boy.
Mom!
(ringing)
(classical indian music playing)
(clucking)
Akbar.
(making clucking noise)
You nasty little egg!
Couple of them got the door loose.
They're crafty.
Okay. Why are there live chickens in the kitchen?
Fresh meat. It's much tastier than that frozen stuff.
And it's healthier, too.
We can't have live poultry in the kitchen.
This is new york. They will shut us down.
Nobody's going to find out.
There are feathers everywhere.
Oh, we'll sweep up.
Besides, we have to do something.
I just fired that meat guy.
You did what? What...
Rasool? Yeah.
Oh, I chased him out of here with a shank.
He's a bloody crook, that fellow.
I know he's a crook. Oh, my god!
What are these?
(chuckling) menus.
Really? I know they're menus.
They're too limited. I prefer to improvise.
Oh, really? What if people don't want what you improvise?
People don't know what they want.
They know what they've had.
So let's give them something new.
Listen to me, okay? Mmm-hmm.
I asked you to work here. I want you to work here.
But I am in charge here. Do you understand?
So before you go hiring people, or firing people,
Or ordering live chickens, okay, you have to ask me first.
I am the boss. Do you understand?
Oh, yes, boss. Here, have some lunch.
(classical indian music playing)
Take that thing off your head.
But I was told...
Would you just take it off?
Yes, sir.
I know everything that is going on.
You tell my chef to fuck himself while he's praying namaz.
What?
Namaz.
Please, calm down. Your heart.
And you could use a nicer word.
Okay, he wasn't praying namaz. He was, like, eating lunch.
You threw his things. You hit him!
Beta, roti? No, ma.
I didn't hit him. I didn't hit anybody.
Beta, man cannot live on frosty frosty.
How can a human being do this, huh?
Whose child is this? What are you...
Calm down, hakim, he said he didn't hit him.
Beta, it's very bad to hit someone when they are praying.
I didn't hit him while he was praying. I didn't hit him, okay?
He was eating lunch and he was spitting paan juice all over the kitchen
Which is a health code violation.
Are you bloody lecturing me about my business?
Sala, I made that restaurant before I made you.
That's not true, hakim.
Please, please, woman. I'm not talking to you.
Arre, you have hired a bloody taxi cab driver to cook food in my restaurant?
Yes, yes, but he was a chef in mumbai.
Of course he was.
And I used to be the king of sweden.
You didn't know that, huh?
And your mother is the bloody michael jordan.
Anything anybody tells you, you believe, except your father.
You know what? This is exactly...
You know, I'm not going to fight with you, all right?
I have to go to work.
(door closes)
Amit-bhai is right.
I should just sell the bloody restaurant.
One less headache around my neck.
Akbar: Nah, not yet. Not yet.
You have to wait until the flavor
Of the aromatics is fully absorbed by the oil.
You got to trust your senses.
(inhales deeply)
Now? Now, now.
There you go!
Give it a stir.
I know.
You think too much, you know.
Always remember, from here, here and here. All three.
You cook only from there, everything turns out cerebral.
Okay, you know what, that's great,
But cooking isn't all just here and here and here.
Yes, of course, you've got to have some structure as well.
You don't put chilies into a jalebi.
But with indian cooking, a recipe is like a raaga in indian music.
You know raaga?
(scatting raga)
It's just a template.
The important thing is the interpretation,
The improvisation.
You ever been in love?
Yeah.
I mean, no, I don't... I don't know.
You don't know?
A person who's been in love, knows he's been in love.
Ah, with my wife, it was love at first sight.
The first time I looked into her eyes,
Everything disappeared.
What happened to her?
She died the summer after we were married during childbirth.
The baby died as well.
I'm sorry.
I had a brother.
He died in a car accident.
I'm sorry.
You must miss him.
You know what, I don't know why I'm doing this, actually.
I'm a chef. I don't need to learn how to cook from a cab driver.
I didn't...
I...
I didn't mean that.
Come here, I want to show you something.
Come here, come here.
You know, my parents were killed during partition.
I got that trying to save them.
(sighs) of course I couldn't, I was only a child.
So, I was orphaned.
Throughout my childhood, I kept asking myself, "why?"
And then, one day I was out walking in a field, a storm blew up.
Right in front of my eyes, this huge tree got struck by lightning.
Boom!
It split into two.
And suddenly, I was filled with an overwhelming joy.
Why?
Because it was the only sensible way to feel.
You're alive.
You brother no longer has that chance, you do.
I think you should take it.
It'll help your masala.
Carrie: Hello? Samir: Carrie?
I was wondering when I'd hear from you.
Samir: I meant to call earlier.
Carrie: You did, or at least your parents did.
I have it on my caller id.
Samir: Oh, right.
Carrie: Oh, busted.
Samir: Hmm.
Samir: Actually, I was hoping that you'd let me take you out to dinner.
Carrie: Sure. Will your parents be coming?
Samir: They will not.
Hi.
So you ready to go?
Yeah.
And I have the perfect place.
You know, I made this reservation at this...
This is better.
Really? Come on. Yeah.
What? You don't like my place.
No, I... I was just expecting something
With a few more amenities, that's all.
Like a table, chair, I don't know, maybe a ceiling.
Oh, I get it.
What? You're a food snob.
Samir: I'm not a snob. I just happen to know
A little about food sanitation.
Okay.
Well?
Mmm!
Good, it's good. Mmm-hmm.
See? When I eat something like this,
I remember why I got into cooking in the first place.
What about you? What's the first thing that you ever cooked?
Samosas.
Yeah, my brother and I, we used to sneak
Into the restaurant kitchen after school.
We used to have this old cook.
He was amazing.
The way his hands moved, he was like a magician.
He used to let us play with the spices,
All the colors and the smells, and...
It was great.
I used to love going back there.
Hmm.
(hindi music playing)
Sorry, ma'am, we're not open for another hour or so.
Oh, well, thank you.
But I was only looking for my son.
Oh! You must be samir's mother?
(chuckles) salam walaikum.
You must be very proud.
Of course, it's evident where he gets his spirit, his good looks.
What a fortunate fellow to have someone like yourself for his mother.
Excuse me, but what is your good name please?
Akbar hamidbhai khambati.
But you can call me akbar.
So, you are from khambhat?
Khambhat, of course.
Baldiwala is my father's best friend's neighbor.
Because, you see, my sister married
Baldiwala's sister's middle son.
Uh-huh. I'm rassiwala's daughter.
Hey, farrida, the older one. Yes, yes, of course.
Aaiye, aaiye. Come in, please.
Uh, music not bothering you, I hope.
Oh, no, no, no, not bothering.
I tell you, nobody can sing a love song like mukesh.
Wah, wah, wah.
I used to sing this song to my wife.
But your husband must also be singing to you. Hmm?
How could he not?
Well, of course.
In fact, my husband, he asked me to come here,
Oh, please tell your husband that I am most fortunate
To be working with your son.
He runs a very tight ship. Ship shape.
I'm proud to call him my boss.
Oh! Well...
(both chuckle)
Good!
Thank you. Oh, you're welcome.
Oh, uh...
(chuckling)
(speaking hindi)
If you want to die,
Why don't you just kill yourself?
Darling?
So, did you go to the restaurant?
Yes.
Ah.
And you saw the taxi driver?
Yes.
What did he say to you?
Many things.
What's wrong with you, huh?
Why can't you talk?
You want to know what he said to me?
Well, I'll tell you what he said to me.
He said,
I'm a very beautiful woman.
He said I'm filled with spirit.
And he sang to me a love song he used to sing to his wife.
A love song?
Which love song?
(knocking on door)
(laughing)
Sorry, we're a little late.
You are right on time, my friend.
Akbar, this is carrie. Carrie.
Carrie, meet akbar.
This is an honor. Nice to meet you.
Come in, come in, my friends. Welcome, welcome.
I hope you don't mind, I've invited some friends of mine.
Notorious reprobates of course,
But they do enjoy fine cuisine.
Sit, sit, carrie, sit please.
Hi, I'm carrie.
Patel.
Shah.
Babu. Howdy?
Hi, nice to meet you.
Shahjahani biryani.
Mmm, it's named after the mughal emperor who built the taj mahal.
He was also a renowned glutton.
He tends to be a show off when it comes to beautiful woman.
Well, I don't see anything wrong with that.
(akbar chuckles)
(speaking hindi)
Roast leg of lamb.
And chicken hara bhara.
And this is my specialty, ande ki bhurji.
What's that?
Scramble egg.
Scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs.
(laughing)
Yeah, put a little scramble egg here.
Samir: My goodness. Pass me that.
Where did you get these? This?
Oh, I found them in a chinese market.
They reminded me of a dish I ate once in pondicherry.
Oh, pondicherry?
Pondicherry was a french colony, you know?
The only french colony in india.
I've always considered it one of the great tragedies of history,
That the french in india never made it further up north.
Just think of it.
Two of the finest cuisines in the world.
The french and the indian coming together
For an epicurean meeting of the minds.
Instead, we end up getting colonized by the bloody british,
Whose greatest culinary achievement in 2,000 years
Is the fish and chips.
(all laughing)
Whether it's a frenchman or englishman occupying your land,
It's still occupation.
(speaking hindi)
The french cooking is heavy.
(all chuckle)
But, is there a trick to...
Well, the trick is,
Pick it up, don't flick it.
Pick it up and put it in your mouth.
And that's it.
You know, the shah of iran visited india once,
And he was heard to remark that eating with a utensil
Is like making love through an interpreter.
Mmm! (all chuckling)
Yeah, it's good, man.
Why don't you pass the eggplant? Okay.
Thank you.
(hindi music playing)
(laughs)
Samir: You know, when I was a kid,
My dad used to bring ali and I up to our roof,
Just to look out at those lights.
He used to say,
"in a place with lights like that,
"any dream can come true."
(snoring)
What happened?
It's time for morning prayers.
(both chanting in arabic)
Samir, what did you do?
Look what you did.
Who told you to do this?
Nobody told you to do this.
Why did you do this?
I wanted to make it like it used to be.
Like it used to be.
But things are not like they used to be.
Don't you understand that?
Samir, I'm not keeping the restaurant.
Amit-bhai is going to buy it from me.
Okay, dad,
You don't have to, because business is really picking up.
And I'm telling you if we...
Listen to me, samir.
I'm closing the restaurant.
Amit-bhai is right.
It's too much for me with my heart.
Besides, ali is gone.
And you're grown.
What am I breaking my back for?
Dad, you're wrong. You're wrong.
Dad, it's your restaurant.
If you just give it away, then what the hell was it all for?
Dad, it's our restaurant!
Andrei.
Pierre.
Was it 225?
Yes.
Or was it 250?
Yes.
Pierre, you ever slept with two woman at the same time?
Yes.
You, rascal.
I'm sorry, guys.
So, on to new adventures.
Do you ever get discouraged?
Despair is the solace of fools, my friend.
I tell you, they're really a fount of wisdom.
Well, khuda hafiz.
Thank you, akbar.
Truly my pleasure, samir.
Samir, what brings you here?
Oh, I was just looking for steve.
Is he...
Oh, he's upstairs actually.
Okay, thanks.
Hey, congratulations.
Samir, I was about to call you. What the hell are you doing here?
Hi. Oh, wow!
Well, I was gonna get on my hands and knees
And beg steve for my job back.
Job? What the hell are you talking about?
You're famous.
What? Oh!
The times! You got three stars.
Look, "best indian in new york." trust me.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god. Wow!
Three stars and it would have been four,
Except the decor was for shit.
Oh, my god. I gotta go there.
Yeah, go, go!
Yeah!
Be careful with that. Careful with that.
That's my persian fertility relic.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, samir!
Where are you going?
Akron, ohio.
What?
Akron, the city of the future!
You know, about a year ago,
I met a guy from akron, ohio in my taxi.
He was in import-export.
I told him, "way back in the '70s,
"I used to be part owner of a company
"that exported lotas from calcutta."
He seemed very interested in my idea.
Yeah, lotas. You know, that metal bucket,
That villagers in india carry water in,
We're going to export those lotas to paris,
For the french to chill their champagne.
Okay, you can't leave. You know why? Because we got three stars.
Oh-ho, very impressive. Yeah.
"veritable symphony of flavors.
"inspired choice of spices. Inspired...Blah, blah, blah,
"one occasion, the murghi masala was a little dry."
Ignorant bastard.
So, I need you to come back.
Yes, I do. Because in about an hour,
There's gonna be 100 people in that restaurant.
Why, that's wonderful! That's wonderful.
Yeah, and some of them may be hungry.
So, I don't know what you want me to do.
Remember what I told you? From here, here and here.
It's not my cooking that they're coming for.
It's yours. You are the chef. Not me.
You were beginning to get the hang of it.
Now just don't think too much.
I can't do what you did.
Don't do what I did. Do what you do.
I don't know what that is.
Don't worry, it'll come to you.
Samir?
Mom. Yeah, put dad on the phone.
Farrida: He's not here, beta.
He's gone to see amit-bhai.
What, he hasn't seen the review?
He hasn't... Okay, mom, I have to go.
Please call him and tell him
To come to the restaurant immediately, okay?
All right. I love you.
Andrei: Step back. Step back.
Step back. Keep it clear.
We're not to open for another two hours.
Sounds like it's worth the wait.
I told you, she knew everyone.
I bought you another copy.
Thank you for coming back.
Thank you.
It'll be just a few more minutes.
Step back. Keep it clear.
(panting)
You guys busy? What am I saying?
Of course you're not busy. Come with me.
No, I'm really serious. Come with me.
Come on. Let's go.
Take this all back to the kitchen.
Straight back. Straight back to the kitchen.
I'll be right in.
Andrei: Excuse me.
It's an even dice. See, like this.
Carrie?
I...
I figured that you might need a little help.
Oh.
And, I got you a little present,
Chef.
Thanks.
Okay, come on, cover up.
You know what, this is crazy.
I think I'm just gonna get the recipes,
Just to get the basic proportions. Okay?
Okay, I'll be right back.
No.
Pierre, you said, "no."
(hindi music playing)
(sniffing)
That's it?
That's it.
The magic is all in here.
(sighs) you sure?
Sometimes you can't tell until it's in the oil.
So...
Come on, everyone. Let's get to work!
Okay, whip in this ghee, all right?
Whip it in nice and good.
Who's on that dal?
Whip it in. Don't let it puddle, okay?
Samir: All right. Yeah, yeah. Put some of this in there.
There we go. Beautiful.
Okay, that's looks good.
That's great. Put in some of this.
Yeah, keep stirring. Keep stirring.
Okay, don't overdo it on the tamarind glaze.
Two half tandoori chops of lamb
With gnocchi in summer pea puree.
Next to it is a baby goat garam masala
On top of jerusalem artichoke puree with cardamom braised carrots.
Just little squiggles, little squiggles. That looks beautiful.
Just hurry up on those garnishes.
You can't hurry a work of art.
Samir: Looks good. Looking good, everybody.
What's a guy gotta do to get a table in this joint?
Well, you can take these to table two.
Go.
It's a wild king salmon encrusted in mustard seed.
Then roasted in the tandoor oven
And finished in mango-pickle beurre blanc.
Samir: How we coming along?
We're running low on...
Yeah, that. And otherwise, everything's good.
Samir? Not now, mom.
Uh, how's that vindaloo? Coming, chef.
But, samir... Not now, mom.
Uh, I need more cilantro sprigs.
But, samir...
Mom, what?
It's just that they're asking for you.
Oh.
(all applauding)
Thank you. Thank you.
Enjoy your meal.
Enjoy your food.
I think it is time for me to meet this cab driver.
He's gone.
He's gone?
Who cooked all this food?
You?
Your father was just saying,
How much he regrets not having tasted your cooking
And how much he's looking forward to it. Isn't that right, hakim?
(sighs)
This is bloody good food.
I'm sorry, amit-bhai.
I'm afraid the deal is off.
I'm going into business
With my son.
You don't introduce us to your friend, beta?
Mom, dad,
This is carrie.
She's my
Sous-chef.
Sous-chef?
She helped with everything.
That's wonderful.
I'm so pleased to meet you.
Pleased to meet you also.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
You know what? We should head back.
Oh, yeah, go, go, go. Don't worry about us. Go, go.
I'm sorry.
(sighs)
Sous-chef. Hmm.
(chuckles)
You believe that?
Not for a second.
Do we care?
Not for a second.
So, sous-chef, huh?
Uh, yeah, well, I think you're ready.
Really? What does it pay?
Oh, the pay? Terrible.
But I really think you gonna like the benefits.
We are in the weeds, people. Let's go!