#I don't want to play in your yard #
#I don't like you anymore #
# You'll be sorry #
# When you see me #
#Sliding down #
#Our cellar door #
# You can't holler #
#Down our rain barrel #
# You can't climb our apple tree #
#I don't want to play #
#In your yard #
#If you can't be good to me ##
Somebody forgot something in the bathroom.
Lenny, you forgot to flush.
I'm eating my cereal. Don't you see?
I need to use the restroom.
- So flush it. - I'm not a housekeeper, remember?
I'm a home health-care professional.
Not mine. You're hers.
Go bother her. I'm eating.
Go take care of your business in the bathroom, Mr. Savage.
You do it.
As you already pointed out, you are not under my jurisdiction.
I am not paid to take care of your shit.
What the hell are you doing?
Take care of your business in the bathroom, and I'll give you back your Wheat Chex.
Son of a bitch.
Are you cleaning up after yourself, Mr. Savage?
# Way out on the briny #
- # With the moon big and shiny #
- Lenny? - #Melting your heart #
#Of stone #
#I'd love to get you #
#On a slow boat to China #
I don't hear a flush, Lenny.
#All by myself, alone ##
Leonard?
- Fasten your seat belts.
It's going to be a bumpy night.
That was Bette Davis as Margo Channing...
and this is Wendy Savage as herself.
- Leave me a message after the-
Aloha, Wendy.
This is Nancy Lachman, Doris Metzger's daughter, calling from Honolulu.
I'm calling because- Well, I just got a very disturbing call from Arizona.
There's been some trouble with your dad.
Dear Selection Committee...
If awarded your prestigious fellowship...
... for artistic creation...
I would use the money...
to complete the writing and research...
of my new semi-autobiographical play-
No, wait.
My new...
subversive, semi-autobiographical play...
about my childhood, entitled...
Wake Me When It's Over.
- Hey, Wen. - Hi, Matt.
- How's it going? Getting anywhere? - Just trying to power through.
Oh, yeah. Just do what you can. Don't kill yourself.
Inspired by the work ofJean Genet...
the can'toons of Lynda Barry...
and the family dramas of Eugene O'Neill...
Wake Me When It's Over tells the story...
of a brother and sister who...
after being abandoned by their abusive father...
are forced to fend for themselves...
when their depressive mother goes out on a date...
from which she never returns.
Thank you for considering my proposal.
Sincerely yours, Wendy Savage.
Hello. Hello.
You have two new messages:
Ms. Savage, this is Donna from Dr. Reichmars office.
I'm just calling to let you know...
that your Pap smear results came back today and it's normal.
Everything's fine, so there's nothing to worry about.
- If you have any questions regarding the test, give me-
- Hi. - Hi.
- Is this a bad time? I saw your lights come on. - No. I'm just-
- You know- - Oh, okay, then.
- No. I don't want to disturb you if you're- - No, do, if you can.
Can you?
I got Marley.
- Let's move to the bed. - No, I like it here. Let's do it on the floor.
- No, come on, Larry. - I need you to feel how hard my cock is.
I don't want to! The floor is gross.
You used to like it on the floor.
When you first moved in, remember?
Yeah, well, not anymore.
It's middle-aged and depressing.
It makes me want to cry.
- Come here, sweetie. - What's the matter?
- Come here, good girl. There we go.
- What? - I've got things going on.
- What things? - Just... things.
Larry, things. It's personal.
I thought this was personal.
Oh, personal... medical.
Okay?
It's cervical.
I had a Pap smear. Something was irregular.
Then I had to have another Pap smear. They just called with the results.
And?
And it's-you know, it's not for sure yet, you know...
but they might have to go in and take something out...
and test it and make sure it's not, you know.
God forbid.
- I'm sorry, Wen. - Mmm.
Annie had that.
What?
A cervical thing- some kind of procedure.
I went with her to the appointment.
She said it was pretty painless. A little sore afterwards-
I feel- I don't need to be hearing about your wife's cervix right now.
- I'm just trying to be comforting. - Oh, well, it's not.
- Oh. - It's upsetting.
Okay.
- Sorry. - God!
Come here.
Come on!
See you.
Hello.
Jon, it's me.
Dad is writing on the walls with his shit.
- He's what? - He's writing with his shit, Jon-words!
On the bathroom wall, and he's leaving them there, for this guy...
Eduardo, to find, like messages.
Wendy, what-what the fuck are you talking about?
- I am talking about Dad. - Okay.
He is losing his mind, or something.
I got a phone call- there's something wrong with him.
He's acting out with his shit. It's all he has left.
And now he's using it to piss this guy off.
- Uh, what guy? - Doris's caregiver guy.
- Here, here. Listen.
Aloha, Wendy.
This is Nancy Lachman, Doris Metzger's daug-
There's been some trouble with your dad.
I know you haven't communicated with your father for quite some time.
He's not the same anymore. He forgets things, and-
I'm sorry to leave this on the machine-
but Eduardo found Lenny this morning...
- handling his, uh, fecal matter. - Uh, Wendy-
We hired Eduardo to care for our mother, not your father.
- Wendy! - What?
Turn it off!
- What is your problem? - It's the middle of the night.
I've got to teach in the morning, and I'm on a deadline.
He is writing with his shit, Jon! Our father!
Do not leave me alone with this!
I'm not leaving you alone. I'm just hanging up.
- We'll talk tomorrow. Okay? - We don't even know where the man lives anymore.
You want to know where he lives? Sun City.
Have you ever heard of that? In the middle of the desert somewhere.
We're gonna have to go out there and find him.
We are not gonna have to go out there and find him.
Wendy, we are not in a Sam Shepard play.
We're gonna have to do something. This is a crisis.
Look, I don't think this actually qualifies as a crisis.
It's an alarm, okay? But it's not a crisis, not yet.
- You mean, it's like we're in Orange. - What?
Yeah. Right, exactly.
But we're in Yellow, okay?
So we should just... be aware...
and be cautious.
And when it hits Red, then we're in trouble.
Okay?
Your color, right? Ms. Metzger? Ravishing Red?
Uh, right?
See? Good color, right?
Sexy. Okay.
- Oh, my goodness.
Ms. Metzger?
Andy, it's me, Jon.
Good, good.
I'm, uh, still plugging away on that Brecht book.
Yeah, well, he's a complex man. And you?
Oh, yeah, I heard Stanford's playing footsie with you.
That's great. Oh, great.
- Look, I need a favor.
Well, it's kind of last minute. I'm out of town, actually.
Arizona.
Yeah, it's a family thing.
No, nothing serious. It's my father.
No, he's just, uh- his girlfriend died.
Yeah. And, uh, he's getting pretty old himself, I guess, like everybody.
Yeah. Well, that's what I was gonna ask you.
It's my 9:00 a.m. on Monday.
"Oedipal Rage and Beckett," of all things.
- I have to stop at baggage claim. - Hold on. Hold on a second.
- You checked luggage? We're only here for a day. - Two days and one night.
Excuse me if I plan on changing my clothes.
Sorry. Uh, it's my sister.
- I gained some weight. - I didn't say anything.
Kasia didn't have you pack a button-down?
- What is this, a goddamn fashion show? - No.
It's just, when someone dies, people dress up.
She's moving back to Poland.
- What, you and Kasia broke up? - Her visa expired.
S-So that's it? Her visa expires, so- so it's over?
Well, it's either that or we get married...
and no one's ready for that, okay?
You've been together for over three years. You're 42 years old-
Wendy, I really don't need romantic advice from my little sister at the moment.
Let's just take care of the situation and stay out of each other's shit, okay?
I'm just trying to talk about it.
Well, we're not in therapy right now. We're in real life.
Oh, here. I almost forgot. Shoot. We have to sign this.
They didn't have a very big selection. Is this okay?
"These words, we hope, may ease your loss.
"Our prayers are with you, our love, our thoughts.
So this is sent with some-"
Here.
Don't forget the balloon.
You must be Leonard's kids.
Uh-huh.
The hospital's just five minutes away.
And don't worry. It's nothing serious.
He's been feeling kind of faint...
and what with the toileting incident and all...
the doctor thought a few tests were in order.
Well, l-I guess-
I guess we should be going then.
- We're really sorry about your mom. - Oh, thank you.
Uh, Jon, Wendy-
One more thing before you go.
Please sit.
I just want to say...
you know, we love Lenny.
He's been like family to us, but...
he's not really our family- he's yours.
So...
I hope you'll be able to find someplace nice for him.
- What do you mean? - She means a place where he can live.
- Right. He lives here. - That's correct.
Your father's been living off the charity of our family for quite some time.
- Bill- - Why would you say charity, Bill?
Doris asked my father to come live with her as a boyfriend, not a boarder.
They were a couple. They were together for over 20 years.
You can't just throw the man out on the street.
He has a right to live here. Legally speaking, it's a common law marriage at this point.
Not exactly.
Not in front of the kids, Bill.
Let's step outside.
So, was Lenny there when this was signed?
Notarized, all legal.
It's called a non-marital agreement. It's like a prenup without the nup.
It says that even though they lived together...
they have no legal obligation to each other, that everything's separate.
And, basically, Dad has no legal right to any of her property.
Bet you they've already got the place listed.
Did you notice that there wasn't one picture of us anywhere?
Are you surprised?
It's like we don't even exist.
... on your toughest stains.
How about this coffee stain on my blouse?
I'll add some things and make it really messy.
Oxy Clean seeks out stains and works right before your eyes.
Grass and dirt don't stand a chance against new Oxy Clean.
It tackles grass, dirt and grease better than ever. It gets the stains out.
It's safe on all your laundry, because it's chlorine-free.
Wow!
Add a scoop to every load and see for yourself.
It's tough on stains, safe on colors.
And Oxy Clean still works great on carpet and upholstery.
Call now, and you'll receive a whopping six pound-
- Where the hell have you been? - Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Dad. How are you? - How are you?
They had me hog-tied for two days.
We got here as soon as we could.
We came straight from the airport. It-It's Jon and Wendy.
I know who you are.
The late ones. You're late.
You werert here, and this is what they do, see?
- Dad- - You werert here, I said! Nobody!
- Jon, go get somebody. - We werert here 'cause we live on the East Coast.
- Remember? - Yeah?
We haven't seen you in a long time. We're here to help you.
So do something! You're the doctor!
I'm gonna go get somebody.
He's not that kind of doctor, Dad. He-He's a professor.
I thought my boy was a doctor.
Doctor of Philosophy.
PhD. Teaches college.
- Medicine?
No.
Drama.
- He teaches theater. - Like Broadway?
No, like... theater of social unrest.
Stuff like that.
He's doing a book on-on Bertolt Brecht.
I'll release him only if he promises to be good.
We can't have him get out of bed by himself. Are you going to be good, Mr. Savage?
Are you going to be good, Dad?
You're not good, they won't let you go.
You can't keep pulling on everything. This is for your own good.
This is your food.
We don't want him climbing out on his own.
- He's unsteady. He can fall. - We'll keep an eye on him.
Thank you.
Vascular dementia or multi-infarct...
usually follow one or more strokes...
but I am not seeing any sign of a stroke here.
But the disinibition, the aggression, masked facies...
with a blank stare that we had talked about earlier, are all fairly good indicators.
- Is it like Alzheimer's? - There are a lot of illnesses that can cause dementia.
I'm not prepared to make a diagnosis yet, but I think...
his symptoms are much more characteristic of Parkinsors disease.
So, w-what do we have to look forward to?
Well, he's not a young man, so cardiac or respiratory failure may spare him...
from the worst of it, but, uh, tremors when the limb is at rest...
a shuffling walk, freezing up, unable to initiate movement...
more and more loss of motor coordination in general.
# You make me feel so young #
# You make me feel like spring has sprung #
#And every time I see you grin #
#I'm such a happy individual #
# The moment that you speak #
#I want to go play hide and seek #
#I want to go and bounce the moon #
#Just like a toy balloon #
#You and I #
#Are just like a couple of tots #
#Running across the meadow #
#Picking up- ##
Maybe Dad didn't abandon us. Maybe he just forgot who we were.
- I'm gonna give Brian Deener a call. - Who's that?
He's a friend of mine, teaches in the English department.
He just put his mother in a nursing home near campus.
Could we have some more nuts?
- Nursing home? - Yeah. What?
- I wasn't thinking about putting him in a nursing home. - What were you thinking?
- I don't know, but I wasn't thinking that. - Where else is he gonna live?
I mean, really, what's the alternative? You want to-
- You want to change Dad's diapers, wipe his ass? - He doesn't need diapers.
- What do you think that catheter was? - He's in the hospital.
# You make me feel-#
But look, even if they did let Dad stay here...
he'd still have to have somebody take care of him. We can't afford that.
You heard the nurse. Dad falls. He's disoriented.
He hasn't fallen once since we've been here.
Don't make me out to be the evil brother who's putting away our father against your will.
All right, we're doing this together, right?
#Two of a kind for your information #
#We're two of a kind #
Well, there's places.
- What places? - Like Aunt Gertie.
That's assisted living. I'm not sure Dad would get into one of those.
Gertie's pretty independent, remember? She's also rich.
Okay, so I'm gonna call United...
and try to get the first flight out first thing tomorrow...
get back and see if I can find a place that'll take him.
What am I gonna do?
You're gonna stay here and hold down the fort until I find something.
By myself?
Wendy, this is not the time to regress.
I just don't know if it's something that I can do...
and so I just don't talk.
I don't know how long he'll be gone, you don't know how long you'll be gone.
And that's just not something I think I can deal with...
by talking on the phone every couple weeks.
We can talk more about this when I get home.
Tomorrow morning.
I'll make sure to call when I get in.
- Okay. Bye.
Hey, Wendy? Wen?
I'm going.
That should take care of the hotel.
Thanks.
- Jon? - Yeah?
You okay?
Yeah, I'm all right. I'll talk to you later.
Okay.
- Walk up, walk back.
Two step touch.
Tap that left for four.
Grapevine left. Step touch four times!
Now to the Sunday Puzzle from NPRNews.
And the chance to match wits with fellow listeners and puzzle master Will Shortz.
- Here it is. - Oh.
Hello. Hello?
Hello. Who is it?
- Hung up. - Book Expo was the big-
So, not only do you have a formal dining room, if you like to entertain...
but you also have an updated kitchen with granite countertops...
oak cabinets, brand-new appliances...
and they all convey to the new owner.
And look at this dramatic view...
of the eighth tee on the Lake West golf course.
How perfect is this?
You're also only a five-minute stroll from-
When you purchase a home in Sun City, you're eligible-
... recreation centers.
We have eight golf courses-
Sure. We could try maybe 30 days.
No, they're already pre-approved...
so it's not gonna take any time at all.
- Okay, I'll see you about 3:00.
[Birdsong Echoing]
[Phone Rings]
- Hello. - Hi.
Oh, my God, Jon. You are not- You are not gonna believe this.
l- I just- I found this stash...
of photographs and stuff that Dad's kept all these years.
I can't believe it. I am looking at the funniest picture of you right now.
- Oh, yeah? - You have braces.
How come you got braces? I never got braces.
Ever looked at my teeth? They're still crooked.
Oh, yeah. How come?
'Cause Dad never paid the bills, and the orthodontist was so pissed off...
he pulled them out of my mouth before my teeth were fixed.
So I think I found something.
What?
It's a place with an opening that can take him right away.
What kind of place?
A-A facility for older people.
In this country, they call 'em nursing homes.
I thought we were gonna try assisted living.
They're not gonna take him at assisted living, Wendy. Let's just be real.
- He's got dementia. - Well, don't lead with that.
Look, if it's any consolation, uh, this place...
they don't call it a- a nursing home.
- Well, what do they call it? - Uh, rehabilitation center.
It's called the Valley View.
That sounds nice.
- Is it? - It's a nursing home, Wendy.
- Does it smell? - Yeah, it smells. They all smell.
Look, this place has an empty bed, they take Medicaid and it's close to my house.
Believe me, once you get inside, these places are all the same.
- Hello? - Make sure you have a coat for him when we get there.
He doesn't have any warm clothes.
- Hi, Dad. - Hiya.
How ya feelir?
Not bad.
You don't need these, right?
Not your style.
Look like Grandpa Walton.
Okay, just sign and initial at the X's.
And here are your valuables.
New prescription. Medication.
Thank you.
And let me give you these.
They don't really like us to give these away, but you might need 'em.
Thanks.
Excuse me. Sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Hi. - Hi.
Okay, Dad.
Thank you.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Can we have your attention?
To properly fasten your seat belts-
- What are you doing? - Bathroom.
- What? - Bathroom!
- O-Okay, we need to, um- - Now!
No, we need to wait for the nice attendant to come-
Okay. Sure. All right, all right. I got- I got it.
All right, all right. There, there, there. All right?
All right, wait. Wait for me, wait for me, wait for me. All right.
I'm right here.
Okay?
Okay.
All right.
What-What is it, Dad?
- What are these? - They're Dad's. I couldn't get 'em back on his feet.
They swelled up. I need ten bucks.
- Where is he? - Inside.
Thank you. Pop the trunk.
- Did you remember the coat? - Yeah. I can't, uh, leave the car unattended.
I'm sorry.
... the diplomats were referring to intelligence reports...
that North Korea had loaded booster rockets onto a launchpad...
and moved fuel tanks to the test site...
in preparation for a possible launch as early as tomorrow.
We don't usually admit
but I understand you came a long way.
Isn't that right, Mr. Savage?
- What'd you say? - You came a long way.
Not too bad.
How about Bingo?
You like Bingo, Mr. Savage?
Every Tuesday and Thursday night.
Don't like it.
That's Winston.
We call him The Mayor.
All right. Here we are.
Have the bathroom and closet there.
You will share that with Mr. Sperry.
These are just the bare essentials, of course.
But once you move in, you can fix it up any way you like.
Mr. Sperry, you want to meet your new neighbor, Mr. Savage?
Hi.
- Hi.
All right. Well, I'll leave you alone to, uh, look around and get yourselves together.
Gonna need you to sign some papers.
- I'll send somebody in to get him ready for bed. - Okay.
Good evening, sir. I'm Jimmy.
You ready for a good night's sleep? Hmm?
Give me arms up in the air. Up.
Come on.
Like you're under arrest.
Good man. You ever done time, Mr. Savage?
It's a good idea not to make too big of a thing when you leave for the first time.
Just go real casual. No big good-byes.
We don't wanna get him agitated before he's had time to settle in to his new home.
- All right. - Thank you.
Don't worry. We'll take good care of him.
- Is everything okay, Dad? - Not bad.
All right then. See ya tomorrow.
Good night, Dad.
Hey.
Don't forget to tip the girl on the way out.
All right.
- What's the matter?
He didn't- He didn't even know where we were taking him.
He still doesn't know. He doesn't know where he is, Wendy.
We are horrible, horrible, horrible people.
We are horrible!
Horrible!
Just horrible.
Horrible.
Looks like the Unabomber lives here.
Yeah, well, I've been doing a lot of research for the book.
The couch is actually pretty comfortable.
Great. Where is it?
Those go over here... actually.
It doesn't look like it, I know...
but there's actually a system to all this.
Okay.
Jon? What's Zocor?
Is it for depression?
- It's for cholesterol. - You have high cholesterol?
Yes!
Is this all your nursing home research?
Most of these aren't even open.
Hill Haven. This looks nice.
It's in Vermont. I really wish you hadn't brought that down.
- Jon. - What?
- What is it? - Theatre of the Absurd.
You gonna stop?
Yeah.
Sorry.
We're doing the right thing, Wen.
We're taking better care of the old man than he ever did of us.
I know.
Good night.
We know this is one of the toughest decisions of your life.
What to do when the parent who took care of you...
can no longer take care of themselves?
That's why here, at Greenill Manor...
we are committed to providing the highest quality of care...
for your loved ones.
Our board-certified physicians are dedicated...
to maximizing both the physical...
and emotional well-being of your elder.
Come celebrate 100 years of award-winning care.
#Heaven #
#I'm in heaven #
#And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak #
And exhale.
#And I seem to find the happiness I seek #
And breathe it up.
And breathe up wonderful, good energy.
Fill yourself with it.
And let go of everything you don't need.
Ahh.
Good. Reaching for the person in front of you, stretch... forward.
#I'm in heaven #
Well, his Medicaid seems to be squared away.
And as far...
as the advance directive-
Hey, I take that.
On your pen, for anxiety.
Not all the time. Just when I need it.
Here's the, uh, health care proxy we talked about...
and the living will material.
We'll need these signed by both you and your father.
The only thing missing here is the paperwork regarding...
the funeral arrangements.
We'll need to know your father's burial or cremation plans.
See, if you switch this little thing here...
you can change the volume...
and turn it off.
- Okay? - Mm-hmm.
There you go.
H-He's got it. He's got it.
How's that?
- Good level? - Yeah. Yeah.
Dad, we need to talk about a couple things.
- But we-we don't want you to take it in the wrong way. - Okay.
Yeah, it's just, uh- it's a couple questions...
that'll make everything easier in the long run.
- Okay? - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
In the event-
In the event that something should happen-
Um-
Mm-hmm?
How-
- Dad- - How do you want us to, um-
Dad, what if you were in a coma?
Jon.
Would you-Would you-Would you want a breathing machine to keep you alive?
What kind of questiors that?
It's a question we should know, in case.
In case what?
In case something happens.
Nothing's gonna happen. Right now. Nothing new.
Right, it's- it's just procedure.
It's something they want for their records.
- Who? - The people who run the place.
The Valley View.
What the hell kind of hotel is it?
Dad, it's not a hotel, it's a nursing home.
Unplug me.
What?
Pull the plug!
Okay, Dad. So now, um, once we unplug you-
- I'm dead. - Right.
- And then, we- - What?
What do we do with you?
Bury me!
What are you, a bunch of idiots? You bury me!
Christ.
- Oh, Jesus! - Sorry to scare you.
You just gave your sister heart attack.
She didn't expect to find Polish woman in her brother's home.
- I told you. - No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did. - No, you didn't.
l-I'm taking Kas to the airport in the morning. Early flight, right?
We have to leave at 6:30 at latest.
Okay.
It's back to Kraków for Kasia.
Yeah, Jon told me. I'm sorry.
Your brother won't marry me...
but when I cook him eggs, he cries.
I should take cab to airport like self-respecting feminist woman...
but here I am.
See you in morning.
- How'd it go at the airport? - It was fine.
Good.
- Was it emotional? - No, not really.
She loves you.
Yeah, well, there are practical considerations...
that love has nothing to do with.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Like what?
Do you have any idea how many Comp Lit critical theory PhDs there are...
running around this country looking for work?
Even if Kasia and I did get married and she stayed...
she could end up teaching at some university...
that's farther away from here than Poland.
And then we wouldn't be together either. See what I'm saying?
You're an idiot.
Can we just play the game?
- I got us an interview. - For what?
For a really nice alternative to the Valley View.
- But we just got him in there. - Just hold your judgments until you see it.
It's very beautiful.
It's called Green Hill Manor.
Sounds like an insane asylum.
Aah! Oh!
- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not okay. - Are you having a heart attack?
No, I'm not having a heart attack!
Wendy, fuck!
- How much do I fill it up? - 18 pounds.
What do I do with it?
Just hook it to this.
Okay, further down.
- What, am I gonna pull it? - No, that's it, that's it, that's it- good.
- Ow, ow.
- What, it's not funny.
It's not.
- Really, it's not. - What-
It's not funny.
- What's it supposed to do? - It relieves the pressure.
I'm supposed to stay like this for 30 minutes.
- Oh. - And-
All right, Wendy. Go get my mail.
Just go get my mail.
- Stop staring.
This is for you.
Larry Mendlessohn. Who's Larry Mendlessohn?
A friend of mine, forwarding me my mail.
Is it the married guy?
I'm starving. Want something to eat?
I thought you were going to stop seeing that creep.
- How about tuna melts? - Whatever.
- Here you go. - Thanks.
Look, I need you to spend Thanksgiving with Dad.
We're not doing it together?
It's the only time I can get away for research.
- Well, I have things to do, too. - Like what?
Like my life, for instance, in New York City.
Maybe it's time to stop being so self-involved...
and think about someone else's life for a change.
Yeah, like you, who can't put his book aside for a minute while Dad dies.
I've got to get this thing finished, Wendy. My editor thinks it's a good time for it.
Everyone's really itching for a book about Bertolt Brecht this holiday season.
Wendy, I'm working.
I'm working.
I know you are.
l- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just-
It's just I got a lot riding on this book.
And-And your life's much more portable than mine.
What is that supposed to mean?
What, like-like a toilet? What, like a porta-potty?
No, it's just, you know, you don't have a job job, I do.
I have obligations.
You're- You're freelance.
Couldrt you just hook up with a temp agency around here?
Actually, Jon...
I'm being funded right now, to work on my plays.
And that-that might seem a little self-involved to you...
but I also have obligations to a prestigious foundation...
that has put a lot of faith in me...
and, frankly, has given me a hell of a lot more support than he ever has.
You got it?
What?
The Guggeneim?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, really.
- Why do you sound so surprised? - l-I'm not. I'm just-
It's just a really hard thing to get is all.
l-I applied for it a half dozen times. I never got one.
Well, I did.
Why is that so hard for you to believe?
No, l-I believe it. I just can't believe you've been keeping it a secret.
- I just found out. - Just now?
Oh, my God. It's... amazing.
That's really great, Wen.
I, uh- I'm really proud of you.
You are?
Yeah, it's amazing. It's major.
It's, um-
I mean, maybe this is your- your time, you know. Your year.
Look, how about we both work here and ride out the holidays together...
and get lots of writing done, and, you know, we- it'll be fun.
We'll inspire each other.
Uh, our own little writers' colony.
I'm really proud of you, Wen.
You stole painkillers from a dead woman?
- Mmm. - Do they work?
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
Salud.
Bye.
# lhr saht den weisen Salomon #
# lhr wißt, was aus ihm wurd' #
- # Dem Mann war alles sonnenklar #
# Er verfluchte die Stunde seiner Geburt #
# Und sah #
#Daß alles eitel war #
# Wie groß und weis #
# War Salomon #
# Und seht, da war es noch nicht Nacht #
# Da sah die Welt die Folgen schon #
# Die Weisheit hatte ihn so weit gebracht #
# Beneidenswert, wer frei davon #
- You're in my apartment? - I'm on your bed with Marley.
She's got one of your T-shirts.
Mm-mm!
It smells like you, like, uh, lavender and sweat.
Genghis is here, too. I'm totally getting a hard-on.
- Will you please- - Sorry.
- How's Genghis? - She's good. You want to hear her?
- Yeah. - Come here, honey. Here you go.
- Hello, bunny.
Oh, beast.
She misses you.
You giving her her medication?
Yeah.
Did you water my plant?
Yeah, it's doing good.
- When are you coming back? - After the holidays.
- Thank you for sending me my mail. - Oh, no problem.
- Uh, Wen? - Yeah?
I'm gonna be leaving town next week for a week.
- l-I won't be able to take care of Genghis. - Where are you going?
Uh, Toronto, to visit Annie's family.
It's her parents' 50th anniversary.
Wendy?
Did you lose your hard-on?
Wendy, come on. How about I drive up and bring Genghis?
We could spend the afternoon together. It'll be fun.
I know it's not much of an offer, but...
you know my situation.
Okay, now if we could all take a look...
at the second page of the blue handout...
you'll see a section called "Creating Special Moments."
If you're ever at a loss for what to do with your elder on visiting days...
- this list can come in very handy.
Hello? Are you here for the support group?
You have a family member with dementia?
Okay, well, you're in the right place.
Just grab a couple packets and welcome.
And there's room up front. We won't hurt you.
You've probably been hurt enough already.
We're talking about activities you can share with your confused elder on visiting day.
I culled that list from a terrific book.
You laugh, but I love this series.
When my mother was diagnosed with Parkinsors, this was my bible.
ask your elder about the old days. "
Okay, now I know that sounds pretty obvious...
but when you're dealing with dementia, you have to work extra hard at this.
You can't just sit on the side of the bed, asking questions.
Bring things in to stimulate their memory.
Old movies are a terrific so- Excuse me!
Uh, we-we haven't served the refreshments yet.
Uh, photographs, that seems obvious.
Uh, movies from the-
from their era, again, can also be very powerful.
Oh.
Is that your neighborhood, Dad?
Yep.
They got that right.
There she is.
- Who? - You see her?
She's cooking my dinner for me.
- That bastard. - That's the father, Dad.
- Hey, you son of a bitch! - Shut up. Will you shut up?
You shut yourself up! It's my night!
- He'd always smack me around - Dad, it's okay. Sit down.
You're in the way of the program. Sit down.
- Go to hell, you goddamn old vegetable. - You're an animal.
- Drop dead! - Sit down. Dad, it's okay. It's okay. Just sit down.
This is supposed to remind him of the olden days.
Look behind you.
- Why are they still showing this? - This is their entertainment.
You can't judge it by today's standards.
You have to look at it in a historical context.
I just thought Dad would like an old movie. Bye. Thanks.
Thank you so much. Thanks.
- Thank God we have that interview tomorrow.
Let's just take the stairs.
Thank you. Thanks.
They're gonna ask you a bunch of questions...
and you're really gonna have to concentrate, Dad.
- It's important. - Okay.
- What's that? - Gingko biloba- boosts brain function.
Want some?
Dad, open your mouth.
Mm.
It's like a pharmacy in there.
What are those?
Antidepressants. You should try some.
- I'm not depressed. - Please.
You must be the Savages.
- Hi. Jon. - Roz. How do you do?
- Wendy. Hello. - Nice to meet you.
- Our father. - Nice to meet you. I'm Roz Landis.
My name is Leonard MichaelJoseph Savage.
Okay. Lenny, can you tell me what season we're in?
- Cold.
And the season is?
Winter. What do you think?
And what is the date today?
November.
I don't remember the day.
Okay.
Can you tell me where we are?
What city we're in?
Put down "East Coast."
Boston.
- Boston, Mass. - You can't help him, Ms. Savage.
- He has to be able to answer the questions himself. - He knows where he is.
- Wendy. - What?
- She's conducting a test. - I know. I'm not an idiot.
Let her ask the goddamn questions!
What'd you say to them?
I said he was pretty good except he goes in and out every once in a while.
"In and out"? Wendy, the mars got dementia.
l- I know, but they only had beds for people who are more independent.
I thought if we could just get him in there-
Why are you wasting our time on fantasies?
She said she would put him on one of the waiting lists.
I mean, J-Jesus, l-I'm just doing it for Dad.
Dad's not the one that has a problem with the Valley View.
I'm just trying to improve the situation. Is that a crime?
There's nothing wrong with Dad's situation. Dad's situation is fine.
He's never gonna adjust to it if we keep yanking him out.
And actually, this upward mobility fixation of yours-
it's counterproductive and, frankly, pretty selfish.
- Selfish? - Because it's not about Dad, it's about you and your guilt.
- That's what these places prey upon.
I happen to think it's nicer here.
Of course you do, because you are the consumer they want to target.
You are the guilty demographic. The landscaping, the neighborhoods of care-
They're not for the residents, they're for the relatives...
people like you and me who don't want to admit to what's really going on here.
- Which is what, Jon? - People are dying, Wendy!
Right inside that beautiful building right now, it's a fucking horror show!
A-And all this wellness propaganda and the landscaping-
It's just there to obscure the miserable fact that people die!
And death is gaseous and gruesome...
and it's filled with shit and piss and rotten stink!
Come on, Nana.
There. What do you think?
What's it do?
- Nothing. It's just something nice to look at. - Oh.
- Hey, how you doing, Mr. Savage? - Hi, Jimmy.
That's notJimmy, Dad.
What the hell are you talking about?
- I'm sorry. He's- He gets a little- - It's okay.
It's Howard, Mr. Savage. I'm here to put you to bed.
Thursday is Jimmy's night off.
Well, then...
I better get going, so, good night, Dad.
Good night.
Good night, Mr. Sperry.
- Leave it on. - Are you sure?
- Wort keep you up? - Yes, I'm sure.
Here you go. Good night, Mr. Savage.
Good night.
# lhr saht den weisen Salomon #
# lhr wißt, was aus ihm wurd'I #
# Dem Mann war alles sonnenklar #
# Er verfluchte die Stunde seiner Geburt #
# Und sah daß alles eitel war ##
Hey, Wen!
- Hi. - [Larry] Hi.
Hi, baby. Hello. Where's the beast?
- Here. - Oh, hello, beast.
Hello!
- Did you remember her papers? - Yeah.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
- How's Marley? - She, you know- She's hanging in there.
Her hind legs are really bothering her...
but I found this great vet over at the animal hospital- that place on the East Side.
They have her in physical therapy. Do you believe it?
She's hanging out twice a week in the whirlpool.
Get in. Come on. We'll take a ride.
I've never been to Buffalo.
Let's have some fun! I've missed you!
Jon?
Jon!
- What? - I'm gonna go out for a minute.
- Okay. - Um, this is my friend Larry.
- This is Jon. - Hi, Jon.
- Hi, Larry. - Wendy's told me a lot about you.
I loved your essay on Mother Courage, by the way.
Wendy showed it to me. I did a production of it. It was a huge help.
Okay.
- He seems really nice. - Yeah.
Is that my ficus?
#Just sitting down #
#By the riverside #
- #Spreading my arms #
- # To the open wide #
#Now I am free and the world's at my feet #
#I can close my eyes #
#Oh, love, keep me warm #
#Keep me satisfied #
- #Sitting by the riverside with you # - Come on, come on, come on.
Yeah! Yeah, good dog, good d- Come on. Go get it.
- Ooh. - Ow!
- Oh. Oh. - God!
Sorry. I'm sorry. Come on.
- #I love sitting down #
- #By the riverside ## - What?
- I don't know. - What?
I don't know.
You killed my plant.
- No, I didn't. - Well, it's not thriving.
- It was thriving when I left. - I'm sorry.
It's not the plant. The plant is symbolic.
- Of what? - What do you think?
- I know this isn't perfect. - It's not perfect? I mean, come on, Larry.
I mean, for Christ's sake, I have an MFA.
I mean, look at this.
We're in a motel room in Buffalo.
- I mean, it's embarrassing. It's a cliché! - Shh.
- What cliché? - The midlife crisis cliché.
- Whose? - Yours!
You are married. You are cheating.
You are sleeping with a younger woman.
Uh, Wendy-
You're-You're not exactly a younger woman.
- What's that supposed to mean? - You're 39.
- You're 52. - So?
- That makes you older. - Yeah, technically.
But this is not exactly the paradigm...
of a prototypical winter-spring romance.
Annie's 46. I mean, you're not my little student.
It's not like we got The Blue Angel going on here.
- You know, the professor character in The Blue Angel? - Yeah, Larry, I know the film.
Well, yeah, so the poor slob has an affair with his student...
and his life is destroyed by it.
- Von Stroheim. - Von Sternberg.
- Whatever. - Von Sternberg.
- You know what I mean. Marlene Dietrich. - It's-
She was a nightclub singer. She was not a student.
But there- there is-There's a Francine Prose novel by the same name...
about a professor-student relationship.
- Why do you do this? - What?
You do this all the time, and on top of that, you insult me by telling me that I'm the one...
that's having a midlife crisis here, when you're the one having an affair with a married guy...
instead of seeking real intimacy...
with someone who is available for real commitment.
And you know, it's all about your father.
Oh, hey!
Hey.
I'm just trying to have a healthy, normal sex life here.
- l- Look, I'm not betraying anyone.
Only yourself.
- What? - Nothing.
Wait. Wendy.
Wendy.
You don't have- Oh, for-
Don't do this.
Come on, Wen, don't- Hey, do you want me to help? Oh.
- Are you okay?
Look, I'll call you.
You double-crosser! You Judas!
Harry! Harry, go back!
Turn me in. Cut my throat for a thousand quid
Go, back, Harry I'll get help
Oh, Harry
All right, go to Kristo. There you are, Kristol
Give her the blood money she cut my throat for.
Can we please not use this horrible light?
It's depressing.
I bought you this one, Dad. Remember?
See how nice this is?
- Wendy?
What's-What's going on with that?
It's not gonna affect you in any way.
They said it was fine for her to stay here as long as I could prove she's had all her shots.
I still don't think it's a good idea.
Well, they like animals here, Jon.
Apparently, it's good for the residents' well-being.
They reduce stress, so if you just fucking calm down about it.
Hey, hey, hey!
Dad?
I want to introduce you to someone.
- I don't see anything. - Well, here, let me prop you up.
- Where's your pillow? - What?
- Where's Dad's pillow? - All right, what pillow?
The big red one, the one I bought him. The one from Urban Outfitters.
You saw it!
Jesus, Jon!
- Excuse me. - Hold on a second. Yeah.
My father has a big red pillow that I bought for him...
and it's missing from his room.
I just started my shift. Try Simone in the lounge.
- Are you Simone? - I am.
I'm Lenny Savage's daughter in B-26.
He has a big red pillow I bought him. It's missing.
- Did he have his name on it? - And his room number.
What's it look like?
Big... red... pillow.
Excuse me. Ma'am?
That belongs to my father.
The pillow.
It doesn't belong to you, it belongs to my father.
Huh?
I'm so sorry. It doesn't belong to you.
No!
You all right?
Here you go, Dad.
Dad, I thought you might like this to help prop you up.
Lean forward.
There. Dad!
- Ah, Wendy, forget it. - I don't want it.
Are you sure? It'll make you more comfortable.
Come on. Here we go.
I don't want it! Can't you hear?
What the hell does she think I'm paying her for? To bother me?
Wendy, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
You want one?
Thanks.
Thank you.
So what's in the box?
A cat.
Taking it out for a walk?
Your cat is cold.
Come over here. I'll turn the heat on.
How's he doing?
My friend in B-26.
Oh, he's good.
I mean he's not good, but he's- he's okay. He's fine.
He likes Tater Tots.
It's the only thing he touches sometimes.
I give him extras when I can.
Double servings.
You married?
No.
- But my boyfriend is.
Does your mother know you're doing that?
She's not really in the picture.
She dead? That's why she never comes around, eh?
No. Just kind of obsolete in the parenting department.
- She just wasn't very good at it. - Hmm.
Neither was my father, actually.
So that's why a pretty woman doesn't have a husband or a family of her own.
What do you do when you're not here?
I'm a, um-
a theater person.
I temp for money, but it's not my main thing. I write plays.
Like Shakespeare?
- Yeah. Well, not as good.
- What are your plays about? - What, my plays?
- Can I read one? - Are you kidding?
- No, no. - You actually want to read one of my plays?
What's so strange about that?
No, it's just that, you know, in my world...
people don't usually want to read somebody's...
unproduced play.
Your father's doing okay, by the way.
He's got some time left.
- How do you know? - His toes.
They haven't started to curl under yet.
The toes, they always curl under a few days before.
What, is that some kind ofJamaican folklore thing or something?
I learned it from being here.
We all talk about it. It's always the same.
- The toes curl? - Hmm.
Like the witch in The Wizard of Oz.
A couple of days before they go.
Why, do you think?
They say it's the air leaving the body.
I'm from Nigeria, by the way.
Wendy.
- Thank you.
Jon, it's locked.
Come on. Open it.
They published the list in the paper, and your name wasn't on it.
What?
The Guggeneim Foundation took out an ad in the New York Times...
announcing their fellows for the year, and your name wasn't on it.
- That's weird. - Yeah.
Must have been an oversight.
Can you- Can you let me in? I'm freezing.
- It-It wasn't. - What?
An oversight.
How do you know?
Because I called the Guggeneim Foundation.
Let me in the car.
- Hi, Dad. - Hi.
I called them to find out why your name wasn't on the list.
- Why would you do that? - 'Cause I was looking out for you.
You were policing me.
You're sick. That's sick, Jon.
No. You're sick.
You're the sick one, Wendy.
A friend of mine does some consulting for the Guggeneim Foundation.
He looked your name up in the computer.
You've been rejected eight times.
So? How many times have you been rejected?
Fuck! That's not the point.
- Six. - Hmm, no, no.
The point is you don't think I have any talent.
The point is you called them because you just couldn't believe...
that your little sister might just get one!
- Uh, that's not true. - Yeah, yeah, it is true.
You're just like him. He never thought I could do anything either.
- Why are you comparing me to Dad? - Comparing you to-
- What is the point? - No! You don't think I have talent.
You just don't think I can do anything.
You obviously don't think you can do anything either...
because you have to fucking lie about itl
- Are you out of your mind? - I'm out of my mind?
- Where'd you get the money from, Wen? - I got a grant.
- Just cut the crap, Wendy. - I got a grant, Jon! I did.
Okay, fine, I didn't win a Guggeneim.
Big fucking deal.
It was a different kind of grant.
- What kind? - What?
You got a different kind of grant. What'd you get?
FEMA.
What? I never heard of that.
FEMA.
FEMA?
You mean FEMA, Federal Emergency Management?
You took money from FEMA?
I was granted the money.
What was the federal emergency?
9/11.
What does that have to do with you?
I worked downtown. I was affected.
Everyone was affected. The whole world was affected.
That doesn't mean they're going around taking money from people who really need it.
There was no work for months. All the temps-All the temps applied.
I was not the first one to-
Look, l-I am trying to get my life together.
- By stealing money from the federal government? - I did not steal it!
There's a thing where you can apply...
if you lost 25% of your salary or something like that!
I don't remember the details. You call FEMA, you ask them.
- I'm not. - Look, they care about me more than you do.
I'm not calling FEMA. Okay?
- I'm sorry. - Ha, ha.
Hello. Yes.
No, it's okay. What-What's wrong? Is he all right?
What?
Okay. Okay, uh, I understand. We'll, uh- We'll be right over.
Thank you.
- Is he okay? - It's-It's not Dad. It's Genghis.
She got in a fight with that other cat.
They want us to get her out of there now.
I told you that cat was a bad idea.
Genghis.
- Hi. - Hi.
- What happened? - I don't know.
They were getting along fine before.
She's under here. She won't come out.
- Genghis.
Sometimes, if you just ignore her, she comes.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I read your play.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
I liked it.
- No way. Really? - Yeah.
You didn't think it was a bunch of middle-class whining?
No.
I was scared you'd think I was some spoiled American...
who's complaining about her difficult childhood.
No, not at all.
I thought it was sad.
- I should probably go back to work. - Okay, I am- I'm sorry.
- No, no, no. - I'm sorry.
- No, no, no, no, no. - I am so gross.
- No, you-you're great.
- I am- I am gross. - No, no. No, you're great.
It's just... I'm in love with my girlfriend.
l-I know it sounds like corn, but, really, l-
No.
It's not corny.
Look who it is.
- Genghis.
Pop the trunk.
Here, there's emotion, an interest in what people are feeling.
Whereas Brecht wants people to think.
In dramatic theater, you have suggestion...
but Brecht wants an argument.
Excuse me one minute.
Hello?
Yes, it is.
Okay, thank you.
Mr. Savage?
Um, what's the difference between plot and narrative?
Sorry. You wrote it on the board.
Jon.
Yeah?
That's it?
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Hi.
These are for you.
Thank you.
Yeah, they don't have a smell. They're from the deli.
I never understand why that is with flowers from there.
Guess you have to go to a real florist and pay extra if you want the nice smell.
Can I come in for a minute?
Where's Marley?
She's not- uh-
I wasn't gonna get into this.
Must seem ridiculous compared to what you've been going through.
You had a human being die on you.
She's dead?
We're gonna do it tomorrow.
Her hips- she can't get around anymore. She can't get up on the bed.
She's so depressed.
There's a surgery, but the vet says...
there are no guarantees and the rehabilitatiors brutal.
She's old, Wen.
She's in pain.
I'm sorry about your dad.
If you ever want to re-indulge in unealthy, compromising behavior...
you know who to call, right?
Larry? Can I ask you a question?
Not about us.
Go left.
Good, do it one more time.
No, he doesn't know what's happening.
Let's do it again.
So walk away and then pace around a little.
And, Max, watch TV.
What did I tell you about doing your chores before...
watching TV, huh?
Stop and turn around like it's over.
Should I react once he goes up?
Do you think it's too much?
No, it's, uh-
it's, um-
the, uh- the naturalism with the-
the magic realism together, it-it's effective.
Are you crying?
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for inviting me. I'll, uh-
- I'll see the real thing when I come back through. - Okay.
Do you hate me for using stuff from your life in the play?
No. It's fine.
- You don't think it's self-important and bourgeois? - No, it's good.
Wendy, it's really good.
J FK, please. Wish me luck on my paper.
What's it called?
"No Laughing Matter:
Dark Comedy in the Plays of Bertolt Brecht."
- Bad title? - No, it's good. It's good.
- No, I like it.
- Where's the conference? - Poland.
You didn't tell me that.
You didn't ask.
Just gonna check in with-you know.
Play it by ear, see how we...
feel about each other's people and-
It's really good.
Okay.
Come on, baby. Come on.
Let's go.
#I'm sticking with you #
# 'Cause I'm made out of glue #
#Anything that you might do #
#I'm gonna do, too #
# You held up a stagecoach in the rain #
#And I'm doing the same #
#Saw you hanging from a tree #
#And I made-believe it was me #
#I'm sticking with you #
# 'Cause I'm made out of glue #
#Anything that you might do #
#I'm gonna do, too #
#Moon people going to the stratosphere #
#Soldiers fighting with the Cong #
#But with you by my side, I can do anything #
# When we swing #
# We hang past right and wrong #
#I'll do anything for you #
#Anything you want me to #
#I'll do anything for you #
#Oh-oh, I'm sticking with you #
#Oh-oh #