1
00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:27,529
♪♪ (man vocalizing)

2
00:00:29,531 --> 00:00:31,533
MAN:
♪ Lying on my pillow ♪

3
00:00:31,616 --> 00:00:33,368
♪ Down in my bed ♪

4
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,578
♪ And then I heard a voice beside me ♪

5
00:00:35,662 --> 00:00:37,706
♪ As it softly said ♪

6
00:00:37,789 --> 00:00:39,290
♪ Thunder is your lightning ♪♪

7
00:00:39,374 --> 00:00:41,876
- Let's call in, huh?
- ♪♪ (vocalizing continues)

8
00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:46,047
Hello, this is Alpha and Beta.
Over.

9
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:50,260
MAN (on radio):
<i>We read you, Alpha Beta. Location. Over.</i>

10
00:00:50,343 --> 00:00:51,886
We're whipping along South Factory

11
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:56,641
and should be coming into the old "minterooni"
in about nine minutes at 1100.

12
00:00:56,725 --> 00:00:58,143
Over and out.

13
00:01:17,662 --> 00:01:19,289
DRIVER: What's goin' on?

14
00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:22,083
Wait a minute.
Oh, Christ! Arabs!

15
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:24,502
- What are you talking about?
- For Christ's sake!

16
00:01:26,379 --> 00:01:30,008
Base, this is Alpha Beta.
Come in. Come in, base.

17
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,635
DRIVER: I bet it's Arabs.
I saw a TV show. This is what they do.

18
00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:34,804
Base, come in. Come in, base.
This is Alpha Beta.

19
00:01:34,888 --> 00:01:37,724
- Oh, Jesus Maria.
- This is Alpha Beta! Come in!

20
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:41,060
- DRIVER: Goddamned Arabs!
- They're lowering us now.

21
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,521
- What's happenin'? What's wrong?
- I think we're jammed.

22
00:01:43,605 --> 00:01:46,274
Jammed? Get somebody on that radio!
We can't use no jammed!

23
00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,525
Hello! Base! Base!

24
00:01:47,609 --> 00:01:50,320
DRIVER: We're the US Treasury,
for Christ's sake!

25
00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:52,989
This ain't no Wells Fargo truck!

26
00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:01,498
(blowtorch hissing)

27
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:11,633
I'll get ya!
Yeah, I'll get your ass! I'll get ya!

28
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:13,384
Get outta there!

29
00:02:57,470 --> 00:03:00,098
Look at this shit.
There's nothin' but money in here.

30
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,442
That's the ticket. Let's go.

31
00:05:19,404 --> 00:05:21,072
Vince?

32
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,158
Hey, Vince.

33
00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:31,708
Hey.

34
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:34,377
Hey.

35
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:39,090
- Hey, Vince.
- Gee, I can't believe this trade.

36
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,843
What the hell do the Mets
need another pitcher for?

37
00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,344
All they got is pitchers.

38
00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:46,222
What are we doin' up here?
I don't understand.

39
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,890
Oh, there's reasons.

40
00:05:47,974 --> 00:05:50,601
I mean, you know,
I don't just do things.

41
00:05:50,685 --> 00:05:52,520
There's always a valid reason.

42
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,147
Let me see.

43
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,194
Mm-hmm.

44
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:02,530
- All right. Any problems?
- None.

45
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:05,241
Fabulous. Fabulous work.

46
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,910
Now, what's the story on this?
You gonna bill me or what?

47
00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:10,246
- He wants a million-five for this.
- No sweat.

48
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,707
- By tomorrow.
- What?

49
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,208
Sorry. That's what he said.

50
00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:17,045
No, that's completely nuts.

51
00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:21,215
My kid is getting married Sunday. How does he
expect me to come up with that kind of money?

52
00:06:21,299 --> 00:06:22,425
Vince.

53
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:25,053
Do you know how completely tied up
I've been with this deal?

54
00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:27,263
I haven't even met the bride's family yet.

55
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:31,100
If it was up to me, you could take two weeks.
But that's what he told me.

56
00:06:32,143 --> 00:06:34,103
Jesus Christ.

57
00:06:36,064 --> 00:06:39,233
Okay. I just have to work
something out, that's all.

58
00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:40,818
Thanks for everything.

59
00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:42,653
- How's the wife?
- She's fine.

60
00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:44,739
You know she's taken up tennis?

61
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,074
- No kidding.
- Yeah.

62
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:48,534
That's one game,
I could never get the hang of it.

63
00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:52,455
I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because
you have to wear short pants to play.

64
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,874
- (laughing)
- (sirens wailing)

65
00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:59,629
I guess we oughta
break this thing up, huh?

66
00:06:59,712 --> 00:07:02,048
- Take it easy.
- You too, Vince.

67
00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,549
So long.

68
00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:05,968
(sirens continue wailing)

69
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:22,068
MAN: Evita, give Acme a call. I'm not happy
with the viscosity on these bibs.

70
00:07:23,361 --> 00:07:25,780
Okay, here we go, Mr. Hirschorn.

71
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,532
Just open your mouth, please.

72
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,788
Mr. Hirschorn, take your hand down,
put your head back, open your mouth.

73
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,123
That's it.

74
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,751
Mr. Hirschorn, I cannot work this way.

75
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:42,880
Doc, 72 years I have this tooth.
He don't want to die.

76
00:07:42,964 --> 00:07:44,882
Mr. Hirschorn, your tooth is not a "he."

77
00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:47,844
It's nerves, enamel, rotten,
and it's gotta go. No big deal.

78
00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:50,638
Seventy-two years.
This tooth had steaks.

79
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,890
This tooth had just beans
when I was poor.

80
00:07:52,974 --> 00:07:54,142
Mr. Hirschorn ‒

81
00:07:54,225 --> 00:07:56,477
This tooth chewed on beautiful women,

82
00:07:56,561 --> 00:07:58,479
including a second cousin
of Sophie Tucker.

83
00:07:58,563 --> 00:08:00,481
- Your tooth has had a wonderful ‒
- Dr. Kornpett?

84
00:08:00,565 --> 00:08:02,150
- Yeah.
- Your wife is on the line.

85
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,985
- Tell her I'll be right there.
- Okay.

86
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:07,196
Your tooth has had a wonderful life,
but now it's time to say good-bye.

87
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,075
I understand. But I want you to know
what kind of a tooth this was.

88
00:08:11,159 --> 00:08:14,328
It's an extraordinary tooth.
It's gonna be an honor for me to pull it out.

89
00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:17,540
Which I'm gonna do right after
I answer this phone call. Excuse me.

90
00:08:18,249 --> 00:08:20,835
Hi. How's it going?

91
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:22,461
The tent up?

92
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,005
Terrific.

93
00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,883
Yeah, I'm getting excited.
Is Barbara home?

94
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:28,718
Yes, she's here being very domestic.

95
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,761
- Hi!
- She says hi.

96
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:34,015
- And remember the wine.
- Oh, and remember the wine.

97
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:35,683
No, not Beaujolais.

98
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:39,395
Get something fancier.
Uh, a Saint-Émilion or a good California.

99
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,897
Cabernet's great.

100
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,691
Julia Child says Cabernet's great.

101
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,194
- Will you be home early tonight?
- Yeah, 7:00 sharp.

102
00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:47,904
He's definitely coming over?

103
00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:51,407
Sweetheart,
I'll believe it when I see him.

104
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:53,367
No, I'll behave myself.

105
00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,745
I got somebody in the chair,
so I gotta go.

106
00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:57,455
(kisses)
Me too. Good-bye.

107
00:08:58,122 --> 00:09:00,374
My daughter's getting married
on Sunday, Mr. Hirschorn.

108
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,792
- Oh, no kiddin'.
- Yeah.

109
00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:03,920
- That's great, Doc. Congratulations.
- Thank you.

110
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:05,630
Mazel tov. Nice boy?

111
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,798
Oh, yeah.
Second-year law student at Yale.

112
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,884
Oh. And the parents?

113
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,136
Well, the mother's very nice.

114
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:14,180
The father does some kind
of international consulting work.

115
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:17,600
He travels a lot, so we haven't seen him.
He's coming to dinner tonight. First time.

116
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:20,436
- Call it off.
- Call what off?

117
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,563
The wedding.
Call it off until you know the father.

118
00:09:22,647 --> 00:09:24,649
- Well, it's Sunday ‒
- Call it off.

119
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,734
She's marrying the son, not the father.

120
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:30,071
The son is the acorn.
You gotta look at the tree.

121
00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:32,823
I've been around a little.
Give a listen.

122
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:36,160
Uh, by the way, here.

123
00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:38,329
What's that, your tooth?

124
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,707
- I pulled it when you were on the phone.
- (laughing)

125
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:45,086
You're a nice boy.
You could hurt yourself pulling like that.

126
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,339
- Now do me a favor.
- I can't call it off, Mr. Hirschorn.

127
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:51,676
It's not 19th-century Minsk.
It's 20th-century Manhattan.

128
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,094
- I hope I'm wrong.
- You're wrong.

129
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,845
- Best of luck to you.
- Thank you.

130
00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:57,765
- (chuckles) Forget I said anything.
- I forgot already.

131
00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:06,440
(vehicle approaching)

132
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:09,151
(vehicle passes)

133
00:10:11,070 --> 00:10:14,448
- False alarm.
- I hope they haven't had an accident.

134
00:10:14,532 --> 00:10:16,909
Mr. Ricardo's been out of town.
Maybe he got hung up.

135
00:10:16,993 --> 00:10:18,244
"Hung up"?

136
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:21,872
- I have to take the roast beef out of the oven.
- Just put it on the warmer.

137
00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:25,334
- An hour late. Great start.
- I'm sure there's a good reason.

138
00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:28,504
- Why couldn't he call?
- Well, if he's in bad traffic, he can't call.

139
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,507
- What are you taking their side for?
- I'm not taking anybody's side.

140
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:35,219
- You're still in our family, Barbara.
- Oh, God, Dad, don't lay this on me.

141
00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:37,847
They're late, all right?
Don't make it like a family issue.

142
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,516
Such a hotshot, how come
he doesn't have a phone in the car?

143
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,351
Who said he was a hotshot?

144
00:10:42,435 --> 00:10:45,646
You did. Travels all over the world.
Hasn't got time to meet the new in-laws.

145
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:48,983
I had a patient today, Mr. Hirschorn,
said I should call the whole thing off. Yes.

146
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:52,153
- That's a brilliant solution to the problem.
- (vehicle approaching)

147
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,613
Coupe de Ville?

148
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,700
That's them. Are you okay, or are you
gonna be totally hostile to them?

149
00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,285
I'm fine. I'm fine.

150
00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,373
(doorbell rings)

151
00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:07,084
Will you ever forgive me?

152
00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:09,337
- Please come in. Come in.
- Oh, welcome!

153
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:10,838
It's all my fault.

154
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:14,342
I had business in Canada and those
damn Canadians, they never stop talking.

155
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:18,012
- Believe me, I know what it's like.
- You must be the lovely mother of the bride.

156
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,347
- Aww.
- I am ‒ Oh!

157
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,515
Now I know where Barbara
gets her good looks.

158
00:11:21,599 --> 00:11:23,684
- Oh, thank you.
- We're just very, very glad you're here.

159
00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:27,063
- I'm Sheldon Kornpett.
- Shelly, I'm just thrilled to meet ya.

160
00:11:27,146 --> 00:11:30,900
Tommy tells me you were the first dentist
ever to use that drill that spritzes water?

161
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:34,028
Among the first in New York, I think.
Why are we standing in the hallway?

162
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:37,782
- Please come in and have a drink.
- I could use one. It's been one of those days.

163
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,784
Shelly, have you ever had
one of those days ‒

164
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,787
I hate to say this,
but if we don't sit down right away,

165
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,789
that roast beef
is just going to be inedible.

166
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:49,043
- I'm starving, so it's fine with me.
- I'll take drink orders and make them myself.

167
00:11:50,795 --> 00:11:52,046
I'm petrified.

168
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:55,299
My father was like a maniac
before you came.

169
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:56,926
(clears throat, sighs)

170
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:59,595
Vince, how long did you
actually live in Guatemala?

171
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,639
Oh, he was gone for ages.

172
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,224
I was in the jungle ‒

173
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:04,850
the bush, we called it ‒

174
00:12:04,934 --> 00:12:07,228
for approximately nine months.

175
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:11,065
Nine months. My God.
That really must have been something.

176
00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:13,025
Sheldon, it was unbelievable.

177
00:12:13,109 --> 00:12:15,152
I saw things...

178
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:18,239
They have tsetse flies down there
the size of eagles.

179
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,907
Really.

180
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:24,120
In the evening, I would stand in front
of my hut and watch in horror

181
00:12:24,829 --> 00:12:29,125
as these giant flies would pick children
off the ground and carry them away.

182
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,461
- My God.
- Oh, the things he told us.

183
00:12:32,545 --> 00:12:35,256
- (clicks tongue)
- Oh, it was an incredible sight.

184
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:40,302
Peasants screaming, chasing these flies
down the road, waving brooms.

185
00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:42,471
You can imagine the pathetic quality

186
00:12:42,555 --> 00:12:47,685
of this waving these crudely fashioned
brooms at these enormous flies

187
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,771
as they carried their children
off to almost certain death.

188
00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:53,149
Oh, that is just
the most horrible thing.

189
00:12:53,983 --> 00:12:56,026
You sure these are flies
you're talking about?

190
00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:58,195
Flies.

191
00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,782
The natives had a name for 'em.

192
00:13:01,866 --> 00:13:05,369
<i>- José Grecos de Muertos.</i>
- (Mrs. Kornpett gasps)

193
00:13:05,453 --> 00:13:07,288
Flamenco dancers of death.

194
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:10,624
You took those slides of them
that never came out, remember?

195
00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:13,335
That's a shame. I really would have liked
to have seen those slides.

196
00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:14,545
- Me too.
- Yeah.

197
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,547
I left 'em in a jacket
that got Martinized.

198
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:20,718
It broke my heart because those slides
would've won me a Pulitzer Prize.

199
00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:25,806
The enormous flies
flapping slowly away into the sunset.

200
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,143
Small, brown babies
clutched in their beaks.

201
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,728
Wow.

202
00:13:31,479 --> 00:13:33,564
Beaks? Flies with beaks?

203
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,608
A sight I'll never forget.

204
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:37,818
I was stunned. Appalled.

205
00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:39,570
What did you do?

206
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,323
What did I do?

207
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:44,867
As a consultant,
what did you do about the flies?

208
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,786
Sadly, there's very little you can do

209
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,247
because of the tremendous
red tape in the bush.

210
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:52,082
There's red tape in the bush?

211
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:55,294
Enormous red tape, Sheldon.

212
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:59,089
These flies, for example, uh,
they're protected against pilferage

213
00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:03,010
under the provisions
of the Guacamole Act of 1917.

214
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:07,932
I've been getting the <i>National Geographic</i>
for years. I never ran into any ‒

215
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,684
- Dad, could I have some more wine?
- Yeah.

216
00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:13,521
I'd like some too,
for the purposes of a toast.

217
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:15,606
MRS. RICARDO:
Oh, uh, good idea.

218
00:14:19,527 --> 00:14:21,111
Um...

219
00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:25,950
I'm not the most eloquent guy
in the world.

220
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:30,746
But I would like to say that
this has been a most lovely occasion.

221
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:33,082
And I couldn't agree more.

222
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:35,376
And on Sunday,
there's gonna be another occasion,

223
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:38,128
even more lovely, more sacred.

224
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,799
And all I really want to say is that

225
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,884
I'm just honored

226
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:48,889
and moved to be part of
the Kornpett family.

227
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:54,311
And I hope we'll be together
in the good times to share 'em with joy.

228
00:14:55,396 --> 00:14:59,900
And if there are bad times,
God forbid, we'll work that out too,

229
00:14:59,984 --> 00:15:01,735
but together.

230
00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:03,195
- (Mrs. Kornpett sighs)
- Oh.

231
00:15:03,279 --> 00:15:06,198
- That was very lovely, Mr. Ricardo.
- Yeah, I feel the same way, Dad.

232
00:15:06,282 --> 00:15:07,533
(glasses clinking)

233
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,910
Uh, I'd like to say that

234
00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:12,913
as difficult as it is for me
to give my little girl away,

235
00:15:12,997 --> 00:15:16,584
I'm very happy that it's to someone
as wonderful as Tommy.

236
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:19,712
And my hope is that
the Kornpetts and Ricardos share

237
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:22,756
many happy and peaceful occasions

238
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,758
through many happy and peaceful years.

239
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:27,052
- (sobbing loudly)
- Oh, hear, hear!

240
00:15:27,136 --> 00:15:29,471
(sobbing continues)

241
00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:35,811
(sobbing, hooting)

242
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,610
Excuse me.
Where is the phone?

243
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,528
Phone?

244
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:48,657
- Uh, there's one in the kitchen.
- Where is the furthest one?

245
00:15:48,741 --> 00:15:50,784
I have to make a long-distance call,

246
00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:54,496
and sometimes with these overseas connections
I have to scream like a banshee.

247
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:56,832
Well, there's one in the basement,
but it's a mess.

248
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,334
Oh, that's okay.

249
00:15:58,417 --> 00:15:59,918
- Through there?
- Oh, I'll show you.

250
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,004
Please, don't bother. I'll find it.

251
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,715
- Dad and his mysterious phone calls.
- (all laughing)

252
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,467
What did you say?

253
00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:10,971
I-I just said Dad
and his mysterious phone calls.

254
00:16:11,055 --> 00:16:12,723
What the hell do you mean by that?

255
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,975
Nothing. Really.

256
00:16:15,059 --> 00:16:18,729
You're just always makin' these weird calls
in back rooms and pay booths.

257
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:22,066
You little snot-nose!
Those phone calls put you through college!

258
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:24,318
- Vince ‒
- I-I'm sure Tommy d-didn't mean ‒

259
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,487
I worked myself up to a position

260
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:30,574
where I can make these kind of
top-level phone calls to top businessmen,

261
00:16:30,658 --> 00:16:32,326
and my own son derogates.

262
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,662
Dad, I wasn't derogating.

263
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:40,042
Well, maybe you weren't.

264
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,589
I'm terribly sorry, everybody.
It's been a long day.

265
00:16:45,673 --> 00:16:47,257
Oh, listen...

266
00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:50,844
- Through there?
- Yeah. First door to the left.

267
00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:54,014
- Pull the string for the light.
- Thanks a million.

268
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,104
Um, he's, um ‒

269
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,855
he's been working very hard lately.

270
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:03,565
- Oh, listen...
- I mean n-normally, he's, uh ‒

271
00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:07,069
Usually he's so affectionate
and physical with Tommy.

272
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:10,072
Listen, I can understand
a certain amount of resentment.

273
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:13,617
After all, he's had to work really hard
in his life and I really haven't.

274
00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:34,555
It's Ricardo.

275
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,056
Yes, very smoothly.

276
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:39,435
But listen, that kind of money
by tomorrow, that's impossible.

277
00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,188
No, Ralph, you don't understand.

278
00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:45,190
This is a major international deal.

279
00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:48,277
It's not like we're fencing
some shit in the street.

280
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,071
No, they're not all in there.

281
00:17:51,155 --> 00:17:54,533
I kept one out just in case
you pulled something like this.

282
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:57,077
What's the point in threatening me?
You can't ‒

283
00:17:57,161 --> 00:17:58,662
Hello?

284
00:18:01,165 --> 00:18:02,833
Christ.

285
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:50,297
- Dad, what are you talking about?
- What am I talkin' about?

286
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,300
The man is crazy.
That's what I'm talkin' about.

287
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,386
<i>He's</i> crazy? Look at yourself.
You're foaming at the mouth.

288
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,097
Sweetheart ‒ It's toothpaste.

289
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:02,100
Sweetheart, I love you very much,
but I know about these things.

290
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:05,103
That man is crazy. I will not
have you marrying into that family.

291
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:07,105
You're being absolutely Sicilian
about this.

292
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,399
I'm marrying Tommy, not Vince.

293
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:11,527
Mm-mmm. Tommy is the acorn.

294
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,071
What acorn?

295
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,365
The acorn, sweetheart, from the tree.

296
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,826
- It's a saying.
- Oh.

297
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:21,620
It's a great saying, Dad.
Really captures a whole lot.

298
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,956
I don't need the sarcasm. It's off.

299
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:26,166
- It is <i>not</i> off.
- It's off!

300
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:28,502
I'm calling the caterers.
I'm calling the guests.

301
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:31,046
It may be a little bit humiliating
and a little bit expensive,

302
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,173
but you are not
marrying into that family.

303
00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:34,842
Damn it. We are not calling it off.

304
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:38,387
Tommy and I are gonna go to Vegas
or some sleazy thing like that. I don't care.

305
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,264
But we <i>are</i> getting married.

306
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:44,184
- God, Mom, will you please tell him?
- I think you're being a little irrational.

307
00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:45,686
<i>I'm</i> being irrational?

308
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:49,022
I sit there listening to stories
about the Guacamole Act of 1917

309
00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:51,024
and tsetse flies
carrying off small children,

310
00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:52,192
and I'm being irrational?

311
00:19:52,276 --> 00:19:53,861
Well, so he embellishes a little bit.

312
00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:57,573
First he's laughing, then he's crying,
then he practically belts Tommy in the mouth.

313
00:19:57,656 --> 00:19:59,867
He didn't practically
belt him in the mouth.

314
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,869
He almost belted Tommy
in the mouth.

315
00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:05,122
Then he's gotta go down in the basement
to make phone calls. What is that?

316
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,791
- And what else?
- I don't like, uh ‒

317
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,459
I don't like his whole manner.

318
00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:11,837
And for that
you wanna call off the wedding?

319
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,422
Shelly.

320
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,008
You're just projecting like crazy.

321
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,677
- Psychology on parade.
- Go on, Shelly. Let her talk.

322
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,263
It isn't easy for fathers
to give away daughters.

323
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:24,057
It's a complicated relationship.
There's sexual stuff going on ‒

324
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:25,475
Hey, hey.

325
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:28,520
I'm not talking about incest,
for Christ's sake.

326
00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:32,816
But there is a certain sexual component
to father-daughter relationships.

327
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:36,570
So the closer the wedding gets, I think,
the more edgy you're gonna be

328
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:40,324
and the more you're gonna fix on things
like Mr. Ricardo being a little flaky,

329
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,909
which I'm not denying,

330
00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:45,704
as a reason to reject
the whole idea of marriage.

331
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:49,249
I think she's right.

332
00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:53,420
$6,000 a year tuition to listen to this.

333
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:57,507
- It doesn't make sense?
- No, it makes sense. It makes sense.

334
00:20:57,591 --> 00:20:58,800
I'm sorry.

335
00:20:58,884 --> 00:21:01,929
There's no reason to be sorry.

336
00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:04,932
All I want you to do is be more open
to Tommy's father.

337
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,892
Don't just reject him.

338
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,604
All right, I'll ‒
I'll try to be more open.

339
00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:14,066
Shelly, think how nervous he was
to meet you.

340
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,610
Tommy's told him
so much about you.

341
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,321
- Well, he must have been nervous.
- Sure he was nervous.

342
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,115
Okay. Finished.

343
00:21:22,199 --> 00:21:23,575
I'll do my best.

344
00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:26,370
I'll just be incredibly receptive.

345
00:21:39,049 --> 00:21:42,344
It's in the middle of the next block,
just past the Stetson Hat sign.

346
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,513
- 1270.
- Right.

347
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,231
Christ. Keep going.

348
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,442
- It's 1270, man.
- I said, keep going!

349
00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:05,325
Stupid bastards.

350
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:08,036
Any particular place
you want me to go?

351
00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:22,426
731 Fifth Avenue. Pronto.

352
00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:24,011
Pronto it will be.

353
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,096
(tires squealing)

354
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:32,853
This is gonna set fast, Mrs. Adelman,
so just don't fight me.

355
00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:34,604
- Good.
- (mumbles)

356
00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:37,024
- No, it's looking good. Looking good.
- (mumbles)

357
00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:39,860
No, no, two more visits
oughta do it fine.

358
00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:42,195
Don't push out
with your tongue now, please.

359
00:22:42,279 --> 00:22:44,197
All right, let that stay in there.

360
00:22:44,281 --> 00:22:47,367
Now, you can relax your mouth,
but don't clench.

361
00:22:47,451 --> 00:22:49,536
- (mumbling)
- I'm watching a master at work.

362
00:22:49,619 --> 00:22:52,039
- What are you doing in here?
- Did I startle you folks?

363
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:54,750
You're going to have to leave the office.
Dr. Kornpett, I'm sorry.

364
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:57,127
I'm delighted to meet you.
I'm Vince Ricardo.

365
00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,047
Dr. Kornpett's wonderful daughter
is marrying my son.

366
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:01,298
- (Mrs. Adelman mumbles)
- My in-law.

367
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:02,549
- Hello, dear.
- Barbara's ‒

368
00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:06,762
This is some great dentist you have here.
You're a very lucky lady.

369
00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:09,097
- (mumbling)
- No kidding.

370
00:23:09,181 --> 00:23:10,891
I didn't expect to see you, Vince.

371
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:14,436
Well, I was just in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd say howdy-doo.

372
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:17,522
- Is there anything I can do for you?
- No, just wanted to say hello.

373
00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:19,858
Uh-huh.
Well, come on back in my office.

374
00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:21,610
- I don't want to intrude.
- No, no intrusion.

375
00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:23,236
Mrs. Adelman, sit tight.
Don't clench.

376
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,072
- Do what the doc says now.
- Vince.

377
00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:27,908
- You're very sweet.
- Vince!

378
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,119
(mumbling)

379
00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:36,166
That's a wonderful patient you got there.
Very fine lady.

380
00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:37,667
Oh, yeah? You know her?

381
00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:40,253
No, but I can tell
she's a woman of real quality.

382
00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:44,216
- The inner sanctum, huh?
- Yeah.

383
00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:46,927
- Remember that show, <i>The Inner Sanctum?</i>
- Oh, yeah, sure.

384
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,513
- Boy, I never missed it.
- (Sheldon clears throat)

385
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,934
- Do you understand Latin, Sheldon?
- Yeah, a little.

386
00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:57,771
You know what all this means?

387
00:23:57,854 --> 00:24:02,275
Yeah. It means, uh, I won't get arrested
for impersonating a dentist.

388
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,362
- (Vince laughing)
- (Sheldon chuckles)

389
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,572
Oh, that's very funny.

390
00:24:07,656 --> 00:24:09,449
Impersonating a dentist.

391
00:24:09,533 --> 00:24:11,743
That's very cute.

392
00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:13,578
(laughing continues)

393
00:24:15,205 --> 00:24:17,124
Oh, dear.

394
00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:19,626
Well, I'm really glad
you stopped by, Vince.

395
00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:22,796
Well, I feel we're practically family now.
I like to feel close.

396
00:24:22,879 --> 00:24:24,923
Listen, any time
you're in the neighborhood.

397
00:24:25,006 --> 00:24:28,385
That's very kind of you, Shel. And don't
think I'm gonna abuse the privilege.

398
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,886
No, no, no, no.

399
00:24:29,970 --> 00:24:32,389
I'm not one of those guys
who you give him an inch ‒

400
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:35,475
- No, no, no, no. Any time.
- Oh, wonderful.

401
00:24:35,559 --> 00:24:38,728
Gee, but I can see how busy you are.
Gosh, the waiting room is filled.

402
00:24:38,812 --> 00:24:42,983
- Yeah, well, I have a good practice.
- Yeah, it looks like an absolute gold mine.

403
00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:45,193
- (chuckles)
- You keep hoppin', huh?

404
00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:46,903
Yeah, yeah.

405
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:52,033
I guess if I were to ask you
to leave the office for a couple minutes,

406
00:24:52,117 --> 00:24:54,035
that wouldn't be possible, would it?

407
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,079
Well, it would depend.

408
00:24:56,163 --> 00:24:57,497
What about right now?

409
00:24:57,581 --> 00:24:59,541
"What about right now" what?

410
00:24:59,624 --> 00:25:02,502
Could I borrow you
for a couple minutes?

411
00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:04,045
Right now?

412
00:25:04,129 --> 00:25:07,424
Would it be terribly inconvenient?
Please say so if it is.

413
00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:10,260
I just thought
because it was around lunch.

414
00:25:11,428 --> 00:25:13,346
Vince, it's 9:00 in the morning.

415
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:16,016
You never take an early lunch?

416
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:21,229
I have a lot of patients out there, Vince.
Could you tell me what you want?

417
00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:24,733
Oh, it's such a minor thing.
Gosh, I'm so embarrassed.

418
00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:27,235
I-I hate to ask. It's just that ‒

419
00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:29,613
I need a hand
for maybe five minutes.

420
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,740
Five minutes.

421
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:35,327
I-I got a cab waiting downstairs.
Five minutes tops.

422
00:25:36,077 --> 00:25:37,871
Vince, I'd really like to help you out,

423
00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:40,373
but I have two impacted molars
and a gold crown out there.

424
00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:41,625
I'm all backed up.

425
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:45,128
Well, listen, what the hell.
I can do it myself. You're so busy.

426
00:25:45,879 --> 00:25:48,840
Vince, can't this wait till this afternoon?
I'll be off around 5:00.

427
00:25:48,924 --> 00:25:52,844
No, no, I can manage. I don't want to
make a federal case out of this.

428
00:25:52,928 --> 00:25:54,804
This is really important to you?

429
00:25:56,181 --> 00:25:58,350
It would be so helpful,
you can't imagine.

430
00:25:58,433 --> 00:26:00,435
Like I say, it's no big deal.

431
00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:03,396
(sighs)

432
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,649
What the hell.
I never get out of here anyway.

433
00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:07,651
What's five minutes
for a member of the family?

434
00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:09,903
Aw, Shel, this is
just stupendous of you.

435
00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:11,780
- And you might even enjoy it.
- Yeah?

436
00:26:11,863 --> 00:26:15,325
- Where we going?
- My office. I want you to break into my safe.

437
00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:28,004
(woman screaming)

438
00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:38,098
The Eagle has landed.
What now?

439
00:26:38,181 --> 00:26:40,433
Just put your flashers on
and stay put.

440
00:26:40,517 --> 00:26:41,810
Are we still moving?

441
00:26:41,893 --> 00:26:44,521
No, the cab has stopped.
We're on West 31st Street.

442
00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:46,606
Did we hit the little boy
on Sixth Avenue?

443
00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:49,276
No, no, we missed him
by a good foot and a half.

444
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,361
Okay, now.

445
00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:54,864
This is the combination to the safe,
and this is the key to the office.

446
00:26:54,948 --> 00:26:57,367
And the safe is behind
the picture of President Kennedy.

447
00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:58,535
Correct.

448
00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:02,163
So I open the safe, take out a black bag
and come back here to the cab.

449
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:03,456
- With the bag.
- With the bag.

450
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:06,459
And there might be two guys hanging around
outside the front of the building

451
00:27:06,543 --> 00:27:08,211
who should not see the bag.

452
00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:10,046
It's a possibility.

453
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:13,133
Who are these guys?
What, are they after you or what?

454
00:27:14,301 --> 00:27:17,053
You know you got
a terrific imagination, Shel.

455
00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:19,306
No, these are my competitors.
You know.

456
00:27:19,389 --> 00:27:24,477
And if they see me with this black bag,
then I lose my competitive edge. That's all.

457
00:27:24,561 --> 00:27:25,937
Macy's and Gimbels.

458
00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:28,648
That's a terrific example, Shel.
Really.

459
00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:30,984
All right, let's get this over with.

460
00:27:35,322 --> 00:27:36,823
- Shelly!
- What?

461
00:27:37,532 --> 00:27:39,200
I'll never forget this.

462
00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:40,744
Good.

463
00:28:06,269 --> 00:28:08,438
- I'll stand still, all right?
- Happens all the time. Excuse me.

464
00:28:08,521 --> 00:28:11,941
- Doc, uh, makin' a house call?
- Yeah, it's one of those emergencies.

465
00:28:13,276 --> 00:28:15,779
That door never opens.
Use this one.

466
00:28:19,407 --> 00:28:20,950
(key drops on floor)

467
00:28:27,624 --> 00:28:29,376
Awfully nervous, isn't he?

468
00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:31,127
Keeps dropping things.

469
00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:33,004
- You think that ‒
- Maybe.

470
00:28:33,088 --> 00:28:34,589
Come on.

471
00:28:43,181 --> 00:28:46,226
- That's it.
- Pretty cute usin' a doc.

472
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:23,888
Very nice. Very nice.

473
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:31,688
Four years at Mount Holyoke
so she can marry into this.

474
00:29:48,538 --> 00:29:51,374
"To Vince. Well, at least we tried.
Thanks for everything.

475
00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:53,376
Yours, John F. Kennedy."

476
00:29:53,460 --> 00:29:55,128
(chuckles)

477
00:30:14,731 --> 00:30:17,734
(muttering)

478
00:30:19,068 --> 00:30:20,695
(door handle rattling)

479
00:30:22,405 --> 00:30:24,574
SHELDON:
Is that Vince?

480
00:30:31,789 --> 00:30:33,666
Nothing personal, pal.
It's strictly business.

481
00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:37,837
No! I'm not him. Uh, he's my in-law.
Look, here's my card.

482
00:30:37,921 --> 00:30:39,422
(gunshot)

483
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,022
Goddamn. You take the fire escape.
I'll take the stairs. Go.

484
00:30:57,607 --> 00:31:00,568
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

485
00:31:05,949 --> 00:31:08,952
There's no reason to shoot at me!
I'm a dentist!

486
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:18,878
GAME SHOW HOST (on TV):
<i>Five. May we see us in a five.</i>

487
00:31:18,962 --> 00:31:22,340
- What is this show?
- Are you kidding, man?

488
00:31:22,423 --> 00:31:25,969
<i>The Price is Right.</i>
This is the all-American game show.

489
00:31:27,136 --> 00:31:29,722
And they're supposed to
guess what all that crap is worth?

490
00:31:29,806 --> 00:31:31,474
- I mean, is that the principle?
- Yeah, right.

491
00:31:31,558 --> 00:31:33,434
Aha.

492
00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:37,897
May I have some milk, please?

493
00:31:37,981 --> 00:31:40,525
- Is this coffee freeze-dried, by the way?
- Yes, it is.

494
00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:41,776
It's very good.

495
00:31:44,279 --> 00:31:46,531
How long has this show
been on the air?

496
00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:48,992
Since about 1911.

497
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:52,912
Hey, I can't believe you never heard
of <i>The Price is Right.</i>

498
00:31:52,996 --> 00:31:56,249
Well, I don't see that much television.
I'm out of the country a lot.

499
00:31:56,332 --> 00:31:57,834
Really? What do you do?

500
00:31:57,917 --> 00:31:59,836
I work for the CIA.

501
00:32:23,484 --> 00:32:24,861
(gunshot)

502
00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:30,325
Shit! Emergency!
Open the door!

503
00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:35,288
This <i>is</i> an emergency.

504
00:32:58,269 --> 00:33:00,188
(horn honking)

505
00:33:06,736 --> 00:33:08,363
(grunts)

506
00:33:15,912 --> 00:33:17,664
- (tires screech)
- (horn honks)

507
00:33:22,377 --> 00:33:24,504
I can't believe you work for the CIA.

508
00:33:24,587 --> 00:33:26,673
Why not?

509
00:33:26,756 --> 00:33:28,007
I don't know.

510
00:33:28,091 --> 00:33:31,177
I mean, you know,
I thought like, uh, James Bond.

511
00:33:31,260 --> 00:33:33,513
Oh, no, they all look like me.

512
00:33:33,596 --> 00:33:35,473
I'm the classic agency type.

513
00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:38,685
Muscular, low to the ground, compact.

514
00:33:38,768 --> 00:33:42,438
Are you interested in joining?
I'll tell ya, the benefits are fantastic.

515
00:33:42,522 --> 00:33:46,526
The trick is not to get killed.
That's really the key to the benefit program.

516
00:33:58,204 --> 00:34:01,290
Oh, God, don't let me die
on West 31st Street.

517
00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:04,127
Vince!

518
00:34:04,961 --> 00:34:06,713
- Hey, your friend is back.
- (Sheldon shouting)

519
00:34:06,796 --> 00:34:09,298
- Okeydoke.
- Vince!

520
00:34:10,425 --> 00:34:12,051
Help! Help!

521
00:34:12,135 --> 00:34:13,594
- Are we square with you?
- MAN: Yeah.

522
00:34:13,678 --> 00:34:15,888
Aah! Aah! Help!

523
00:34:15,972 --> 00:34:17,432
Give me the bag.

524
00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:19,767
Vince!

525
00:34:20,643 --> 00:34:22,145
Don't shoot!

526
00:34:25,648 --> 00:34:27,567
- No!
- Give me that bag.

527
00:34:49,088 --> 00:34:50,590
Sheldon?

528
00:34:51,758 --> 00:34:53,259
Shelly?

529
00:34:57,555 --> 00:35:00,016
Shel, you all right?

530
00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:01,809
Hey, watch out!

531
00:35:04,395 --> 00:35:08,107
(siren wailing)

532
00:35:08,733 --> 00:35:11,652
We really gotta get out of here.
Shel, give me your hand.

533
00:35:11,736 --> 00:35:14,739
(siren continues wailing)

534
00:35:16,324 --> 00:35:18,326
Cabbie, we're going on.

535
00:35:26,042 --> 00:35:29,086
Shelly, I'm really sorry
it turned out this way. I had no idea ‒

536
00:35:29,170 --> 00:35:31,756
- How could you? I almost got killed.
- I know.

537
00:35:31,839 --> 00:35:34,759
You have dinner at my house,
you drag me out of my office,

538
00:35:34,842 --> 00:35:36,594
then set me up to get killed?

539
00:35:36,677 --> 00:35:39,388
- I'd really like a chance to explain.
- No explaining!

540
00:35:39,472 --> 00:35:41,474
Just get out of my life!

541
00:35:43,309 --> 00:35:45,728
- I understand completely.
- You don't understand anything!

542
00:35:45,812 --> 00:35:50,817
I understand that you are a raving lunatic
and I want you out of my life!

543
00:35:55,279 --> 00:35:58,407
- I can sympathize with your feelings.
- Don't come in. I want you out of my life.

544
00:35:58,491 --> 00:36:00,326
I would like to oblige,
but I have a conscience.

545
00:36:00,409 --> 00:36:02,662
Go away from me.
Don't look at me or talk to me.

546
00:36:02,745 --> 00:36:04,080
- I feel terrible.
- Go away!

547
00:36:04,163 --> 00:36:08,459
This man's wonderful daughter
is marrying my son the day after tomorrow.

548
00:36:08,543 --> 00:36:11,546
- (excited chattering)
- Doc, I want to congratulate you.

549
00:36:11,629 --> 00:36:13,214
- Congratulations!
- Thanks a lot.

550
00:36:13,297 --> 00:36:15,174
I'm very sorry for the delay.

551
00:36:15,258 --> 00:36:18,678
- I'll get to you as soon as I can.
- Please!

552
00:36:19,846 --> 00:36:21,764
(groans)

553
00:36:21,848 --> 00:36:24,684
Oh, Mrs. Adelman,
you've been still the entire time.

554
00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:27,478
Can you close your mouth?
Can you bite down?

555
00:36:27,562 --> 00:36:29,188
(grunting)

556
00:36:29,272 --> 00:36:31,357
- Shelly?
- Mrs. Adelman cannot close her mouth.

557
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,192
She cannot bite down.

558
00:36:33,276 --> 00:36:36,571
- This is why we have to talk.
- What is that?

559
00:36:36,654 --> 00:36:39,740
To be perfectly candid, Shel,

560
00:36:39,824 --> 00:36:41,993
these are engravings for US currency

561
00:36:42,076 --> 00:36:44,412
which were stolen yesterday
from the United States Mint.

562
00:36:44,495 --> 00:36:46,789
Now, the thing we have to talk about

563
00:36:46,873 --> 00:36:50,751
is your unwitting participation
in this serious federal crime.

564
00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:56,132
A crime punishable by a maximum sentence
of 40 years in a federal penitentiary.

565
00:37:09,937 --> 00:37:11,772
You can rinse now, dear.

566
00:37:11,856 --> 00:37:13,357
Sheldon?

567
00:37:16,235 --> 00:37:19,572
Um, why don't you just stack it up
over there on this side of the furnace.

568
00:37:19,655 --> 00:37:21,282
That way, it'll be easy to get at.

569
00:37:21,365 --> 00:37:24,201
- Day after tomorrow, huh, Mrs. Kornpett?
- Oh, God, don't mention it.

570
00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:25,578
There's so much to do.

571
00:37:25,661 --> 00:37:28,372
Anything we can do to help,
feel free to call us, huh?

572
00:37:28,456 --> 00:37:30,791
You're really very sweet.
I'm getting a little nervous about ‒

573
00:37:30,875 --> 00:37:32,877
- Oh, be careful.
- (grunts)

574
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,129
- Oh, are you okay?
- Yeah.

575
00:37:35,212 --> 00:37:37,590
That blasted thing
just falls apart all the time.

576
00:37:37,673 --> 00:37:40,259
One day we're gonna have to
get around to getting it fixed.

577
00:37:40,343 --> 00:37:42,011
- Hey, look at this.
- What?

578
00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:45,348
It's 500.

579
00:37:45,431 --> 00:37:48,601
What? What'd you ‒
Wh-What'd you say this is?

580
00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:51,687
It's an engraving for a bill.
Here, look.

581
00:37:51,771 --> 00:37:53,773
"The United States of America."

582
00:37:54,941 --> 00:37:57,860
Maybe it's from the previous owners
or something.

583
00:37:57,944 --> 00:38:01,322
Oh, I doubt it.
We've lived here for 15 years.

584
00:38:01,405 --> 00:38:04,450
No, that's brand-new.

585
00:38:04,533 --> 00:38:07,328
Isn't that the damnedest thing?
Right here in the cellar.

586
00:38:07,411 --> 00:38:10,456
People find all kinds of things
in the cellar.

587
00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:12,792
I just can't imagine.

588
00:38:12,875 --> 00:38:15,962
Huh. What do you think
I should do with it?

589
00:38:16,045 --> 00:38:19,423
- I never seen one of 'em.
- Take it to the bank, honey. They'll know.

590
00:38:19,507 --> 00:38:21,300
- You think so?
- Sure.

591
00:38:21,384 --> 00:38:23,302
Ah, you're probably right.

592
00:38:32,937 --> 00:38:34,939
- Hi.
- Hello, Mrs. Kornpett.

593
00:38:35,022 --> 00:38:37,692
- All set for the wedding?
- (sighs) Well, we're getting there.

594
00:38:37,775 --> 00:38:39,610
How's Barbara?
Is she nervous?

595
00:38:39,694 --> 00:38:41,988
She doesn't show it,
but I'm sure she is.

596
00:38:42,071 --> 00:38:44,198
My husband's
the jumpiest one of all right now.

597
00:38:44,281 --> 00:38:45,741
Isn't that always the case?

598
00:38:45,825 --> 00:38:49,537
There's just some things that men
don't handle as well as we do.

599
00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:52,081
- I suppose so.
- Now, what can we do for you today?

600
00:38:52,164 --> 00:38:54,500
- Cash a check, I'll bet.
- No, not really.

601
00:38:54,583 --> 00:38:57,086
I... I found something.

602
00:38:57,169 --> 00:39:00,172
Believe it or not, I found this
in my cellar this morning and I ‒

603
00:39:00,256 --> 00:39:03,509
I just don't know what to make of it
or what I should do with it.

604
00:39:03,592 --> 00:39:05,636
- Hmm. It's heavy, isn't it?
- Mm-hmm.

605
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:08,806
My goodness,
this is some kind of engraving.

606
00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:10,182
For a 500.

607
00:39:10,266 --> 00:39:12,351
Yeah, you're right.

608
00:39:12,435 --> 00:39:14,937
You found this in your cellar,
Mrs. Kornpett?

609
00:39:15,021 --> 00:39:17,857
- This morning.
- Well, I never have that kind of luck.

610
00:39:17,940 --> 00:39:21,527
Do you have any idea of what
I should do with it or what it's worth?

611
00:39:21,610 --> 00:39:24,071
Oh, gee, I really don't know.

612
00:39:24,155 --> 00:39:26,532
I've never even seen one of these.

613
00:39:26,615 --> 00:39:29,285
I could ask our branch manager.
Do you mind waiting?

614
00:39:29,368 --> 00:39:32,079
No, not really.
I'd like to resolve this somehow.

615
00:39:32,163 --> 00:39:34,290
Well, sure. I don't blame you.
Let me ask him.

616
00:39:34,373 --> 00:39:36,000
- Okay.
- Hi.

617
00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:37,209
- Oh.
- Ready?

618
00:39:37,293 --> 00:39:38,711
In a second.

619
00:39:38,794 --> 00:39:41,255
- Did you get your shoes?
- No, they were all awful.

620
00:39:41,338 --> 00:39:44,050
I got some tennis sneakers
so it wouldn't be a total loss.

621
00:39:44,133 --> 00:39:46,677
- You've gotta get some shoes.
- I know, I know.

622
00:39:46,761 --> 00:39:48,054
Tomorrow we'll go into the city.

623
00:39:48,137 --> 00:39:50,556
I'll try Bloomingdale's,
I. Miller and Bendel's.

624
00:39:50,639 --> 00:39:53,309
Worse comes to worst,
I'll wear my clogs on Sunday.

625
00:39:53,392 --> 00:39:55,811
You're not going to wear clogs
at your wedding.

626
00:39:55,895 --> 00:39:57,480
Nobody'll see 'em.

627
00:39:58,898 --> 00:40:00,983
- My God.
- What?

628
00:40:03,110 --> 00:40:05,237
Look at this.

629
00:40:05,321 --> 00:40:07,740
Let's not fight about it.
I'll go into the city tomorrow.

630
00:40:07,823 --> 00:40:10,534
I'll probably find
an acceptable pair of shoes.

631
00:40:10,618 --> 00:40:13,079
- Clogs are out of the question.
- Will you stop?

632
00:40:13,162 --> 00:40:14,747
- Mrs. Kornpett?
- Yes.

633
00:40:14,830 --> 00:40:17,792
Would you mind stepping over
to my office for a moment?

634
00:40:28,511 --> 00:40:30,346
You feeling a little better?

635
00:40:32,014 --> 00:40:35,476
You were smart to order that split pea soup.
That looks delicious. May I?

636
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:41,398
Mmm. It's very nice.
It's a little greasy, but it's very nice.

637
00:40:41,482 --> 00:40:45,277
Crumble up some saltines into it, Shel.
That will absorb the grease.

638
00:40:47,321 --> 00:40:50,449
Shel, when I speak, do you hear me?
Do you understand the words?

639
00:40:50,533 --> 00:40:52,118
- Yeah.
- Well, that's good.

640
00:40:52,201 --> 00:40:54,120
That's a relief.
I was beginning to get worried.

641
00:40:54,203 --> 00:40:56,747
I thought maybe all this excitement
had gotten to you.

642
00:40:56,831 --> 00:40:58,707
Let me see if I got this straight.

643
00:40:58,791 --> 00:41:00,918
- You work for the CIA.
- That's right.

644
00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:02,795
You've been with them how long?
Twenty years?

645
00:41:02,878 --> 00:41:04,046
Since Eisenhower.

646
00:41:04,130 --> 00:41:06,799
And you robbed
the United States Mint for the CIA.

647
00:41:06,882 --> 00:41:08,509
- Is that correct?
- Completely.

648
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:11,303
Okay. Let me ask you a question.

649
00:41:11,387 --> 00:41:13,556
Since when is it the policy of the CIA

650
00:41:13,639 --> 00:41:17,935
to impress private citizens into their service
without telling them what it's about

651
00:41:18,018 --> 00:41:20,229
so that individuals of high standing
in the community

652
00:41:20,312 --> 00:41:23,482
end up running down the streets
with bullets flying past their heads?

653
00:41:23,566 --> 00:41:25,317
- That was a mistake.
- Some mistake.

654
00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:28,195
- Thank God nobody was hurt.
- How do you justify such behavior?

655
00:41:28,279 --> 00:41:29,655
Shel, I didn't do it lightly.

656
00:41:29,738 --> 00:41:33,242
It was done in the name of something pretty
important which you couldn't understand.

657
00:41:33,325 --> 00:41:36,120
<i>- I</i> couldn't understand?
- No, it is too complicated.

658
00:41:36,203 --> 00:41:37,830
I read the newspapers.

659
00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,331
I graduated second in my class.

660
00:41:39,415 --> 00:41:41,792
Don't underestimate
the man in the street, buddy.

661
00:41:41,876 --> 00:41:44,003
All right, you got a point.
You're right.

662
00:41:44,086 --> 00:41:46,088
When you're right, you're right.

663
00:41:47,006 --> 00:41:50,050
Okay, try and follow me, Shel.

664
00:41:51,844 --> 00:41:55,681
This whole thing has to do with a conspiracy
that originated in Central America

665
00:41:55,764 --> 00:41:58,350
against the economy
of the United States.

666
00:41:58,434 --> 00:42:01,687
We first got wind of it nine months ago
when they robbed the German mint.

667
00:42:01,770 --> 00:42:05,357
Well, actually, they robbed ‒
they robbed the English mint,

668
00:42:05,441 --> 00:42:08,944
<i>then</i> the German mint,
and then the Swiss mint.

669
00:42:09,028 --> 00:42:11,447
- And they never took any money.
- Who did this?

670
00:42:11,530 --> 00:42:13,532
- It's a Latin-American syndicate.
- Okay.

671
00:42:13,616 --> 00:42:15,451
- They only took the plates.
- Mm-hmm.

672
00:42:15,534 --> 00:42:19,622
Now, what you have to understand is that
we have information ‒ the agency has ‒

673
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,624
- The CIA.
- You're goddamn right, buddy.

674
00:42:21,707 --> 00:42:23,292
The CIA.

675
00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:27,171
We know that these plates
are going down to Central America,

676
00:42:27,254 --> 00:42:30,424
and these people intend to run off
billions of dollars of this currency.

677
00:42:30,507 --> 00:42:32,885
- They want to obliterate their debts.
- What debts?

678
00:42:32,968 --> 00:42:35,512
Well, all these countries, Shel,

679
00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:39,099
they all owe billions of dollars to the West,
and they can never pay it back.

680
00:42:39,183 --> 00:42:42,019
- Right. Right.
- They're too poor. You know that.

681
00:42:42,102 --> 00:42:45,731
Their only hope is worldwide inflation.

682
00:42:45,814 --> 00:42:47,816
But it has to be a huge one.

683
00:42:47,900 --> 00:42:51,111
I mean, so big that paper money
is not worth anything.

684
00:42:51,195 --> 00:42:53,197
- You use it for wallpaper.
- Mmm.

685
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,658
Now, once they get these plates ‒

686
00:42:55,741 --> 00:42:57,284
- the ones that I robbed yesterday ‒
- Yes?

687
00:42:57,368 --> 00:43:00,412
which is American dollars,
now they're all set.

688
00:43:00,496 --> 00:43:01,830
Set for what?

689
00:43:01,914 --> 00:43:04,875
What do you think's gonna happen
when they start running off this dough,

690
00:43:04,959 --> 00:43:09,129
and suddenly there's trillions of extra
dollars, francs and marks floating around?

691
00:43:09,213 --> 00:43:11,548
You've got a collapse
of confidence in the currency.

692
00:43:11,632 --> 00:43:13,092
- Right.
- People are gonna panic.

693
00:43:13,175 --> 00:43:14,843
- Yeah.
- There's gonna be gold riots.

694
00:43:14,927 --> 00:43:18,389
Atonal music.
Political chaos. Mass suicide.

695
00:43:18,472 --> 00:43:19,890
- Right?
- Yeah.

696
00:43:19,974 --> 00:43:21,225
It's Germany before Hitler.

697
00:43:21,308 --> 00:43:22,935
- You can see that.
- Yeah.

698
00:43:23,018 --> 00:43:24,270
Jesus.

699
00:43:24,353 --> 00:43:28,232
I don't know what people are gonna do
when a six-pack of Budweiser costs $1,200.

700
00:43:28,315 --> 00:43:30,359
Oh, that would be awful.

701
00:43:31,652 --> 00:43:34,446
- You think I'm bullshitting, don't ya?
- No, I don't. I don't.

702
00:43:34,530 --> 00:43:37,283
- Well, <i>they</i> thought I was bullshitting.
- Who thought you were bullshitting?

703
00:43:37,366 --> 00:43:38,993
The CIA.

704
00:43:39,076 --> 00:43:40,327
I told 'em.

705
00:43:40,411 --> 00:43:43,289
I said, fellas, the thing to do
is to rob the US Mint.

706
00:43:43,372 --> 00:43:45,749
Really rob it. Professionally.

707
00:43:45,833 --> 00:43:48,460
With real gangsters and real guns.

708
00:43:48,544 --> 00:43:51,297
Get the engraving,
go to Central America,

709
00:43:51,380 --> 00:43:54,133
smoke out the action
and nail those bastards.

710
00:43:54,216 --> 00:43:57,011
They thought it was too risky.
Turned it down.

711
00:43:57,094 --> 00:44:00,097
Wait a minute. W-Wait a minute.
The CIA turned this down?

712
00:44:00,180 --> 00:44:02,308
- I thought you were doing it for them.
- I am.

713
00:44:02,391 --> 00:44:06,270
- Well, th-then they're behind you.
- No, this I did on my own.

714
00:44:07,062 --> 00:44:09,106
You robbed the United States Mint
on your own?

715
00:44:09,189 --> 00:44:11,984
- The CIA thought it was too crazy?
- Too risky, Shel.

716
00:44:12,067 --> 00:44:14,695
So you went ahead and robbed it
on your own, with gangsters.

717
00:44:14,778 --> 00:44:17,489
- You committed a federal crime!
- Of course it's federal.

718
00:44:17,573 --> 00:44:19,408
The Treasury Department is on the case.

719
00:44:19,491 --> 00:44:22,328
- So what happens if you get caught?
- We won't get caught, not if we ‒

720
00:44:22,411 --> 00:44:23,787
Stop the "we"!

721
00:44:23,871 --> 00:44:27,666
If you get caught, is the agency gonna
come forward, say it's okay, he works for us?

722
00:44:27,750 --> 00:44:28,834
- No.
- No.

723
00:44:28,917 --> 00:44:31,170
No. I'm out in the cold
on this one, Shel.

724
00:44:31,253 --> 00:44:34,340
If I get caught, they shred my records,
they say they never heard of me,

725
00:44:34,423 --> 00:44:36,050
and it's 20 years in the slammer.

726
00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:39,178
What about me? I was the one running
through the streets with that goddamn thing.

727
00:44:39,261 --> 00:44:41,180
I was the one in the gutter.

728
00:44:41,263 --> 00:44:42,806
And you were tremendous, Shel.

729
00:44:42,890 --> 00:44:46,352
The way you handled yourself,
I can't tell you how impressed I was.

730
00:44:46,435 --> 00:44:49,688
No, I mean this. It's been something
I've been wanting to say.

731
00:44:49,772 --> 00:44:51,815
You were sensational, Shel,

732
00:44:51,899 --> 00:44:55,861
and it's an act of friendship
that I will remember for as long as I live.

733
00:44:55,944 --> 00:44:59,531
- Which could be about an hour.
- So what do I got? An hour and a half?

734
00:44:59,615 --> 00:45:02,034
You have nothing to worry about.
You're an innocent victim.

735
00:45:02,117 --> 00:45:03,369
How so?

736
00:45:03,452 --> 00:45:06,580
I know it, and the cab driver knows it.
We both say it.

737
00:45:07,539 --> 00:45:09,124
(sighs)

738
00:45:09,208 --> 00:45:11,418
- What happens to you?
- Oh, I'll manage.

739
00:45:11,502 --> 00:45:13,629
Listen, I've been
in tougher jams before.

740
00:45:13,712 --> 00:45:16,131
You know, back when Kennedy
was president ‒

741
00:45:16,215 --> 00:45:18,467
- You saw the picture in the office?
- Yes, I did.

742
00:45:18,550 --> 00:45:20,719
- He was crazy about me.
- I was very impressed.

743
00:45:20,803 --> 00:45:22,888
Honey, do you have the check?

744
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:24,723
Listen, let me ask you
about that picture.

745
00:45:24,807 --> 00:45:27,810
What did that inscription mean?
"At least we tried."

746
00:45:27,893 --> 00:45:30,562
Bay of Pigs.
That referred to the Bay of Pigs.

747
00:45:30,646 --> 00:45:32,648
You were involved
with the Bay of Pigs?

748
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,402
Involved? That was my idea.

749
00:45:36,485 --> 00:45:37,986
I'll get this, Shel.

750
00:45:40,531 --> 00:45:41,824
The Bay of Pigs.

751
00:45:41,907 --> 00:45:43,575
You win some, you lose some.

752
00:45:43,659 --> 00:45:46,286
Listen, you gonna be home
in about an hour?

753
00:45:46,370 --> 00:45:47,496
Why?

754
00:45:47,579 --> 00:45:49,998
I want to make sure we get
that engraving out of your house.

755
00:45:50,082 --> 00:45:51,417
What engraving?

756
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:53,919
Last night, I thoughtlessly
left one in your basement.

757
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:56,422
- An engraving from the bag?
- In my haste.

758
00:45:56,505 --> 00:45:57,923
In my basement?

759
00:45:58,006 --> 00:46:01,718
- Why are you getting so excited?
- Why am I getting so excited?

760
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:05,597
The central piece of evidence in the biggest
federal crime since the atomic spy case

761
00:46:05,681 --> 00:46:07,141
is sitting in my basement!

762
00:46:07,224 --> 00:46:09,143
You want to know
why I'm getting excited!

763
00:46:09,226 --> 00:46:11,770
Go back to your lunches!
Do I meddle in your business?

764
00:46:11,854 --> 00:46:14,231
- I want that thing out of my house!
- Shelly.

765
00:46:14,314 --> 00:46:16,316
I'm getting to that.
Sit down. Finish your soup.

766
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,486
- I don't want to sit down. I don't want my soup.
- You hardly touched it.

767
00:46:19,570 --> 00:46:21,697
- Stop with the soup!
- All right, relax.

768
00:46:23,198 --> 00:46:24,575
Now, the thing ‒

769
00:46:24,658 --> 00:46:28,120
We'll call it the thing. Okay, Shel?
But you know I mean the engraving.

770
00:46:28,203 --> 00:46:30,497
The thing will be
out of your house in two hours.

771
00:46:30,581 --> 00:46:34,293
A man calling himself D. Tracy
will come to your home wearing galoshes.

772
00:46:34,376 --> 00:46:35,878
Give him the thing, okay?

773
00:46:35,961 --> 00:46:37,212
Let me explain something to you.

774
00:46:37,296 --> 00:46:40,674
If that thing isn't out of my house
in two hours, so help me God, Vince ‒

775
00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:42,718
I understand your feelings.
Believe me.

776
00:46:42,801 --> 00:46:45,512
But it's gonna be gone by 5:00.
Believe me.

777
00:46:45,596 --> 00:46:48,223
And years from now we're gonna
look back on this whole thing,

778
00:46:48,307 --> 00:46:51,477
sitting around a Christmas tree,
and we're all gonna have a big laugh.

779
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,187
I gotta run, Sheldon.

780
00:46:53,270 --> 00:46:57,065
Remember ‒
D. Tracy, galoshes.

781
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:05,741
Complete stranger.
He sat down here next to me.

782
00:47:05,824 --> 00:47:08,160
Never saw him before in my life.

783
00:47:17,252 --> 00:47:20,589
I wish it was absurd, Mrs. Kornpett,
but it's a very serious matter.

784
00:47:20,672 --> 00:47:23,342
This is ridiculous.
I feel like Bonnie and Clyde.

785
00:47:23,425 --> 00:47:25,427
Nothing else in the basement.

786
00:47:25,511 --> 00:47:28,138
How long has your husband
practiced dentistry, Mrs. Kornpett?

787
00:47:28,222 --> 00:47:30,516
He's had his own practice since 1960.

788
00:47:30,599 --> 00:47:32,851
- Always in New York?
- That's right.

789
00:47:32,935 --> 00:47:36,104
He shared a practice with Dr. Murray Weingard
for two years in Brooklyn,

790
00:47:36,188 --> 00:47:38,690
then opened his own practice
in Manhattan.

791
00:47:38,774 --> 00:47:42,277
He was sergeant at arms
at the Long Island Dentists Guild.

792
00:47:42,361 --> 00:47:43,904
He's always kept regular hours?

793
00:47:43,987 --> 00:47:47,616
He comes through that door
at 7:00 every single evening.

794
00:47:47,699 --> 00:47:49,701
Any tax trouble?

795
00:47:49,785 --> 00:47:50,994
None.

796
00:47:51,078 --> 00:47:52,496
He overpays.

797
00:47:52,579 --> 00:47:56,333
His accountant tells him to take all
these deductions, but he never does.

798
00:47:56,416 --> 00:47:59,795
Um, please, could you tell me
what this is all about?

799
00:47:59,878 --> 00:48:01,296
What's with the engraving?

800
00:48:01,380 --> 00:48:03,674
That's what we'd like to know,
Mrs. Kornpett.

801
00:48:03,757 --> 00:48:07,970
But I'm sure if everything you've told us is
accurate, there's a very simple explanation.

802
00:48:08,053 --> 00:48:09,888
This is so insane.

803
00:48:09,972 --> 00:48:11,723
When you meet my father ‒

804
00:48:11,807 --> 00:48:15,143
I mean, he's the least likely person
to be mixed up in anything.

805
00:48:22,317 --> 00:48:23,819
BMW pulling in.

806
00:48:23,902 --> 00:48:26,154
That's my husband.
You can talk to him yourself.

807
00:48:31,827 --> 00:48:33,495
Holy shit.

808
00:48:33,579 --> 00:48:35,706
- BMW pulling out!
- Let's go!

809
00:48:36,832 --> 00:48:38,500
What's going on here?

810
00:48:39,167 --> 00:48:41,753
I'm gonna tear his goddamn heart out!

811
00:48:41,837 --> 00:48:43,463
AGENT:
Come on! Let's go!

812
00:48:45,757 --> 00:48:47,259
Let's go!

813
00:48:59,855 --> 00:49:02,357
God, Mom, what is this?

814
00:49:02,441 --> 00:49:04,943
- Of course.
- What?

815
00:49:05,027 --> 00:49:07,279
- Who was in the basement last night?
- Who?

816
00:49:07,362 --> 00:49:09,489
(gasps)
Oh, Jesus. Mr. Ricardo.

817
00:49:09,573 --> 00:49:13,035
That crazy little bastard,
he's involved your poor father in something.

818
00:49:31,428 --> 00:49:34,306
I'll kill him.
I swear to God, I'll kill him!

819
00:49:37,893 --> 00:49:40,395
Oh, my God!

820
00:49:56,370 --> 00:49:58,080
- (horn honking)
- Watch out! Look out!

821
00:50:03,418 --> 00:50:05,712
- (gasps) Watch out!
- (horn honks)

822
00:50:13,387 --> 00:50:15,430
(tires squealing)

823
00:50:25,774 --> 00:50:27,901
Well, where the hell is he?

824
00:50:27,984 --> 00:50:29,736
Check the corner.

825
00:50:42,624 --> 00:50:44,418
Beautiful job, isn't it?

826
00:50:44,501 --> 00:50:46,628
Uh, that'll be 30 bucks.

827
00:50:46,712 --> 00:50:49,297
Uh, you can pay me.
My dad's having supper.

828
00:50:49,381 --> 00:50:52,551
It's worth it. Man, believe me,
that's a quality paint job.

829
00:50:52,634 --> 00:50:55,804
It never wears out,
and you can't paint over it.

830
00:50:57,139 --> 00:50:59,474
- Do you have a phone?
- What?

831
00:50:59,558 --> 00:51:00,767
Phone! Phone!

832
00:51:00,851 --> 00:51:02,310
Over there!

833
00:51:05,355 --> 00:51:07,065
Medium rare all right for everybody?

834
00:51:07,149 --> 00:51:10,026
- Well for me, Vince.
- You asked for it, you got it.

835
00:51:10,110 --> 00:51:12,571
It's nice having Vince around
for a couple of days.

836
00:51:12,654 --> 00:51:14,281
Took a wedding to do it.

837
00:51:14,364 --> 00:51:16,491
And well worth it.
I'm having a wonderful time.

838
00:51:16,575 --> 00:51:18,493
What do you think
of Tommy's new in-laws?

839
00:51:18,577 --> 00:51:20,871
Delightful. Wonderful.
Wonderful people.

840
00:51:20,954 --> 00:51:25,250
I had this instant chemical reaction, you know,
that these were really special people.

841
00:51:25,333 --> 00:51:27,461
- (phone ringing)
- I'll get it.

842
00:51:27,544 --> 00:51:30,338
No, I'm expecting a call from Zurich, honey.
You watch the chow.

843
00:51:30,422 --> 00:51:32,340
- Okay.
- (ringing continues)

844
00:51:32,424 --> 00:51:35,093
- Give my regards to the Swiss.
- (woman laughs)

845
00:51:35,177 --> 00:51:37,929
(rings)

846
00:51:39,765 --> 00:51:41,099
Hello.

847
00:51:41,183 --> 00:51:43,602
I have flames on my car.

848
00:51:43,685 --> 00:51:45,771
I have flames on my car!

849
00:51:45,854 --> 00:51:48,940
Shel, you're very excited.
I don't know what you're saying.

850
00:51:50,525 --> 00:51:52,027
Who?

851
00:51:53,195 --> 00:51:54,696
Holy Christ!

852
00:51:55,781 --> 00:51:57,449
They chased you?

853
00:51:58,700 --> 00:52:02,329
Uh, Shel, I don't understand
what you're saying about these flames.

854
00:52:02,412 --> 00:52:03,663
No.

855
00:52:03,747 --> 00:52:06,041
No, don't go home
under any circumstance.

856
00:52:06,124 --> 00:52:09,211
If it's really the treasury,
you'll get arrested. Definitely.

857
00:52:09,294 --> 00:52:13,507
Well, what do I do, Vince?
I tell you sincerely I do not want to go to jail.

858
00:52:13,590 --> 00:52:15,050
I don't want to get arrested.

859
00:52:15,133 --> 00:52:19,638
Shel, what I would very much like
for you to do the minute you hang up

860
00:52:19,721 --> 00:52:24,142
is drive like a bat out of hell
down to McGraw Airfield in New Jersey.

861
00:52:24,226 --> 00:52:27,229
It's near Lodi off Route 46.

862
00:52:27,312 --> 00:52:29,648
- I'll be waiting.
- Airfield?

863
00:52:29,731 --> 00:52:31,274
You're going where?

864
00:52:31,358 --> 00:52:33,318
Scranton, Pennsylvania? What for?

865
00:52:33,401 --> 00:52:36,321
I'll be gone a couple of hours
if you want to join me.

866
00:52:36,404 --> 00:52:38,657
Yeah, but what about
the Treasury Department?

867
00:52:38,740 --> 00:52:42,160
Don't tell me not to get excited!
They're chasing me all over New Jersey!

868
00:52:42,244 --> 00:52:43,870
Shel, you come with me to Scranton.

869
00:52:43,954 --> 00:52:47,666
By the time you get back, this thing
will be resolved. Take my word for it.

870
00:52:47,749 --> 00:52:49,876
JEAN: The hamburgers are getting cold!

871
00:52:50,752 --> 00:52:52,963
Shel, the end is in sight, I assure you.

872
00:52:53,046 --> 00:52:54,840
Now, take off.

873
00:52:54,923 --> 00:52:57,551
McGraw Airfield, Route 46.

874
00:52:58,552 --> 00:53:01,346
There are signs. Just follow 'em.

875
00:53:01,429 --> 00:53:04,683
Right. Now come on, let's get goin'.

876
00:53:15,819 --> 00:53:18,446
(speaking Cantonese)

877
00:53:29,457 --> 00:53:32,127
(chattering in Cantonese)

878
00:53:34,963 --> 00:53:37,090
(chattering continues)

879
00:53:39,718 --> 00:53:41,386
Oh, that's wrong.

880
00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:43,221
(Cantonese)

881
00:53:43,305 --> 00:53:44,806
Ah.

882
00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:47,893
(engine starts)

883
00:53:51,479 --> 00:53:53,356
COPILOT: Uh-oh!

884
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:55,817
(Vince, copilot chattering in Cantonese)

885
00:53:57,986 --> 00:53:59,446
VINCE: I got it now.

886
00:53:59,529 --> 00:54:01,239
Okay.

887
00:54:01,323 --> 00:54:02,824
Here we go.

888
00:54:25,055 --> 00:54:29,059
(speaking Cantonese)

889
00:54:41,863 --> 00:54:43,365
(inhaling, exhaling)

890
00:54:43,448 --> 00:54:45,367
(Cantonese continues)

891
00:54:52,123 --> 00:54:53,625
(continues)

892
00:55:04,844 --> 00:55:06,346
(blowing)

893
00:55:09,265 --> 00:55:11,309
(speaking Cantonese)
Mae West.

894
00:55:11,393 --> 00:55:13,561
(Cantonese continues)

895
00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:36,751
(speaks Cantonese)

896
00:55:36,835 --> 00:55:39,379
Ah. (Cantonese)

897
00:55:59,357 --> 00:56:00,859
The ocean?

898
00:56:00,942 --> 00:56:03,278
It's over the ocean
to Scranton, Pennsylvania?

899
00:56:04,571 --> 00:56:06,531
(Cantonese)

900
00:56:06,614 --> 00:56:09,242
- Why are we flying over the ocean?
- Shel.

901
00:56:09,325 --> 00:56:11,745
Uh, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

902
00:56:11,828 --> 00:56:14,581
There's been a slight change
in our flight plan.

903
00:56:14,664 --> 00:56:17,542
- We're not going to Scranton, Pennsylvania?
- We are going to Scranton, Pennsylvania.

904
00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:20,045
But we want to make a quick stop
somewhere else first.

905
00:56:20,128 --> 00:56:21,963
Where? Where do we have to stop?

906
00:56:22,797 --> 00:56:24,799
- Tijada.
- What's Tijada?

907
00:56:24,883 --> 00:56:27,635
It's a tiny island.
It's just south of Honduras.

908
00:56:29,095 --> 00:56:30,472
Honduras?

909
00:56:30,555 --> 00:56:33,933
That's right.
I think you'll find it quite fascinating.

910
00:56:42,817 --> 00:56:44,778
(Vince speaks Cantonese)

911
00:56:48,114 --> 00:56:50,116
(shouts)

912
00:56:51,659 --> 00:56:53,995
Okeydoke.

913
00:57:09,344 --> 00:57:13,014
♪♪ (humming)

914
00:57:15,558 --> 00:57:18,394
Oh. (Cantonese)

915
00:57:19,020 --> 00:57:21,356
Fettuccine Szechuan.
(Cantonese continues)

916
00:57:21,439 --> 00:57:22,941
- Very lovely.
- Billy.

917
00:57:23,817 --> 00:57:26,653
Uh, Billy. (Cantonese)

918
00:57:26,736 --> 00:57:28,238
BILLY: Oh.

919
00:57:29,823 --> 00:57:32,283
Isn't he a sweetheart?

920
00:57:32,367 --> 00:57:35,703
You know, if Chiang Kai-shek had ever
made it back to the mainland,

921
00:57:35,787 --> 00:57:39,124
Billy and Bing would have been
co-anchormen on the evening news in China.

922
00:57:39,207 --> 00:57:41,376
That's how beloved they were.

923
00:57:42,418 --> 00:57:44,712
You're furious at me, right?

924
00:57:46,256 --> 00:57:49,717
The amazing thing is how grateful
you're gonna be to me

925
00:57:49,801 --> 00:57:51,803
when this is all over.

926
00:57:51,886 --> 00:57:54,889
I'm very serious.
From here on in, it's strictly routine.

927
00:57:54,973 --> 00:57:57,392
We're out of the country.
We're home free.

928
00:57:57,475 --> 00:58:01,020
From here on in, all that happens ‒
Shelly, you interested in this?

929
00:58:02,605 --> 00:58:07,819
All that happens is that we're met at the airport
by Senator Jesus Braunschweiger.

930
00:58:07,902 --> 00:58:10,989
He's a corrupt member
of the Tijadian legislature.

931
00:58:11,072 --> 00:58:12,991
He checks out the engraving.

932
00:58:13,074 --> 00:58:17,203
We go to the hotel, we wash up.
We have a couple of beers.

933
00:58:17,287 --> 00:58:19,747
Late in the afternoon,
we go see General Garcia.

934
00:58:19,831 --> 00:58:21,833
He's the head
of the Latin American syndicate.

935
00:58:21,916 --> 00:58:24,043
We hand him the engravings.

936
00:58:24,127 --> 00:58:28,173
He hands us 20 million bucks.
Bingo, we got him red-handed.

937
00:58:28,256 --> 00:58:30,633
Then what happens,
another little shoot-out?

938
00:58:30,717 --> 00:58:33,344
Shoot-out? No.

939
00:58:33,428 --> 00:58:36,431
(chuckling)
You've seen too many movies, Shel.

940
00:59:36,366 --> 00:59:38,534
(speaking Spanish)

941
00:59:50,004 --> 00:59:52,340
(speaking Cantonese)

942
00:59:55,343 --> 00:59:57,095
(speaking Cantonese)

943
01:00:04,102 --> 01:00:05,687
What he said.

944
01:00:07,730 --> 01:00:09,524
Jesus!

945
01:00:10,108 --> 01:00:11,109
Vince!

946
01:00:12,235 --> 01:00:14,404
- This guy's a crook?
- They're all crooks down here.

947
01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:16,698
At least this one
don't make any bones about it.

948
01:00:16,781 --> 01:00:19,117
- Welcome to Tijada!
- (gunshot)

949
01:00:21,744 --> 01:00:23,746
- (gunshot)
- Hit the deck!

950
01:00:25,707 --> 01:00:27,333
Is he dead?

951
01:00:27,417 --> 01:00:30,461
If he's alive, he's putting on
a hell of an act, ain't he?

952
01:00:30,545 --> 01:00:32,463
- (gunshot)
- Roll over!

953
01:00:32,547 --> 01:00:34,048
(gunshot)

954
01:00:38,011 --> 01:00:39,637
They're taking off without us!

955
01:00:39,721 --> 01:00:42,390
- That's standard procedure.
- What?

956
01:00:42,473 --> 01:00:45,351
- We gotta make a run for his car.
- We'll never make it.

957
01:00:45,435 --> 01:00:48,438
We'll never make it lying here,
that's for goddamn sure. You ready?

958
01:00:48,521 --> 01:00:49,814
- No.
- (gunshot)

959
01:00:49,897 --> 01:00:52,150
- Now I'm ready.
- (gunshot)

960
01:00:52,233 --> 01:00:54,652
- Serpentine!
- What?

961
01:00:54,736 --> 01:00:57,322
- Serpentine!
- (gunfire continues)

962
01:00:57,405 --> 01:00:59,032
(bullet ricochets)

963
01:00:59,115 --> 01:01:00,616
Serpentine!

964
01:01:03,494 --> 01:01:04,996
Jump!

965
01:01:12,587 --> 01:01:14,464
(gunfire continues)

966
01:01:15,923 --> 01:01:18,593
- Where the hell are the keys?
- Are you kidding me?

967
01:01:18,676 --> 01:01:20,720
Out of the car.

968
01:01:23,097 --> 01:01:25,099
- They must be in his pocket.
- I'll get 'em.

969
01:01:25,183 --> 01:01:26,684
No! I'll get 'em.

970
01:01:26,768 --> 01:01:28,895
I'd rather die running
than be left here alone.

971
01:01:28,978 --> 01:01:30,980
Shel, you don't know what you're saying.

972
01:01:31,064 --> 01:01:32,523
I can't take it anymore.

973
01:01:32,607 --> 01:01:37,028
The idea of you out there dead and me all alone
back here with the smoke and the bullets.

974
01:01:37,111 --> 01:01:39,197
- I can't take it.
- Are you ‒ Are you serious?

975
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:42,200
- I can't stay here.
- Okay, but remember, serpentine!

976
01:01:42,283 --> 01:01:44,077
- Absolutely.
- What a guy.

977
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,120
(gunfire continues)

978
01:01:51,376 --> 01:01:53,544
You're dead, right?

979
01:01:53,628 --> 01:01:56,047
- Good.
- (gunshot)

980
01:01:57,632 --> 01:01:59,967
(shouting in Spanish)

981
01:02:04,305 --> 01:02:06,641
Serpentine, Shel. Serpentine!

982
01:02:26,494 --> 01:02:28,246
(Spanish)

983
01:02:30,039 --> 01:02:32,500
Ha! Ha!

984
01:02:37,630 --> 01:02:39,006
(Spanish)

985
01:02:42,343 --> 01:02:44,011
<i>¡Basta! Basta, basta.</i>

986
01:02:44,095 --> 01:02:45,680
(speaks Spanish)

987
01:02:51,352 --> 01:02:53,146
VINCE: Got a little time now, Shel.

988
01:02:53,229 --> 01:02:55,815
Why don't you lie down,
grab yourself a nap?

989
01:02:55,898 --> 01:02:59,068
- (dog barking)
- (donkey braying)

990
01:03:01,487 --> 01:03:03,614
VINCE: Well, you can imagine
how I felt, General,

991
01:03:03,698 --> 01:03:06,534
seeing him dead
on the runway like that.

992
01:03:06,617 --> 01:03:10,163
No, I said, "Hello, Jesus,"
and he said, "Hello, Vince."

993
01:03:10,246 --> 01:03:12,248
It came as a complete surprise.

994
01:03:13,875 --> 01:03:16,043
I agree.
It must have been anarchists.

995
01:03:17,211 --> 01:03:18,629
Hookers?

996
01:03:18,713 --> 01:03:20,631
No, that's very kind of you, General,

997
01:03:20,715 --> 01:03:23,176
but we're really anxious
to wrap this up and get home.

998
01:03:23,259 --> 01:03:25,636
- Out, out! Get out! Out!
- (clucking)

999
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:27,180
VINCE: Shel.

1000
01:03:27,263 --> 01:03:30,057
As quickly as possible, General.

1001
01:03:30,141 --> 01:03:33,269
No, we'll take a cab.
We had a little trouble with the car.

1002
01:03:33,352 --> 01:03:36,731
The windows weren't functioning properly.
Isn't it always the case?

1003
01:03:36,814 --> 01:03:39,400
Right. Shel, where are you going, Shel?

1004
01:03:39,484 --> 01:03:41,152
Lobby. Look at a magazine.

1005
01:03:41,235 --> 01:03:43,488
All right. Stay close.
We'll be leaving soon.

1006
01:03:43,571 --> 01:03:45,156
Oh, good.

1007
01:03:45,907 --> 01:03:48,534
Now, exactly where
are you located, General?

1008
01:03:49,744 --> 01:03:53,664
501 United Fruit Boulevard,

1009
01:03:53,748 --> 01:03:56,417
via the General Garcia toll bridge.

1010
01:03:56,501 --> 01:03:57,960
Fine.

1011
01:03:58,044 --> 01:04:00,421
It's a very fitting monument to you, sir.

1012
01:04:01,422 --> 01:04:04,091
Yes, better than a statue.

1013
01:04:04,175 --> 01:04:06,385
Now, do you have the money?

1014
01:04:06,469 --> 01:04:08,346
Right.

1015
01:04:08,429 --> 01:04:10,681
Uh, no, General. It's ‒

1016
01:04:10,765 --> 01:04:13,601
It's 10 million in an attaché case.

1017
01:04:14,644 --> 01:04:16,854
Attaché.

1018
01:04:16,938 --> 01:04:21,526
And 10 million wrapped in two
small packages of five million each.

1019
01:04:22,693 --> 01:04:24,195
Perfect.

1020
01:04:24,278 --> 01:04:26,447
No, the Treasury Department
never knew what hit 'em.

1021
01:04:42,922 --> 01:04:45,424
(speaking Spanish)

1022
01:04:50,137 --> 01:04:51,639
(dog yapping)

1023
01:05:14,370 --> 01:05:17,540
Operator, uh, <i>habla usted inglés?</i>

1024
01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:20,793
Good. I need
the American Embassy, please.

1025
01:05:20,876 --> 01:05:22,670
It's urgent. I'm in great danger.

1026
01:05:26,674 --> 01:05:28,342
(horn honks)

1027
01:05:29,260 --> 01:05:30,761
(intercom buzzes)

1028
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,432
Barry Lutz, Intelligence.
Can I help you?

1029
01:05:34,515 --> 01:05:37,184
Mr. Lutz, I may sound
a little bit incoherent,

1030
01:05:37,268 --> 01:05:40,146
but when you hear my situation,
I think you'll understand why.

1031
01:05:40,229 --> 01:05:43,316
My name is Kornpett.
I'm a DDS in the greater New York area.

1032
01:05:43,399 --> 01:05:45,276
I reside in New Jersey,

1033
01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:47,778
and I'm a normal and patriotic
American citizen.

1034
01:05:47,862 --> 01:05:50,740
Now, I'm in Tijada right now.
I'm in Tijada, yes.

1035
01:05:50,823 --> 01:05:53,200
I'm here with a man
who works for the CIA.

1036
01:05:53,284 --> 01:05:56,203
And the thing is, he's got me involved
in some scheme of his

1037
01:05:56,287 --> 01:05:58,122
concerning a general down here.

1038
01:05:58,205 --> 01:06:01,834
Well, my life has been in almost
constant jeopardy for 24 hours now.

1039
01:06:01,917 --> 01:06:05,046
I keep getting shot at,
and I-I can't handle it anymore.

1040
01:06:10,593 --> 01:06:12,928
His name is Vince Ricardo.

1041
01:06:13,929 --> 01:06:16,932
- What are you laughing about?
- (chuckling)

1042
01:06:17,016 --> 01:06:21,479
You're with Vince Ricardo?
How much insurance do you carry?

1043
01:06:21,562 --> 01:06:23,397
Oh, Christ, no.

1044
01:06:23,481 --> 01:06:25,107
No, not anymore.

1045
01:06:25,191 --> 01:06:28,903
He was thrown out of the agency
late last year on a mental.

1046
01:06:28,986 --> 01:06:31,781
A mental. You heard me right.

1047
01:06:31,864 --> 01:06:33,949
He's a wild man, that's why.

1048
01:06:34,033 --> 01:06:36,911
He'd go into very dangerous situations
without any rhyme or reason

1049
01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:38,496
and just improvise, you know?

1050
01:06:38,579 --> 01:06:40,456
Totally ass-backwards.

1051
01:06:40,539 --> 01:06:44,627
The worst thing was that we lost a half dozen
good men who had teamed with him.

1052
01:06:44,710 --> 01:06:47,672
Horrible, gruesome deaths too.

1053
01:06:47,755 --> 01:06:49,215
Yeah, real nightmare.

1054
01:06:49,298 --> 01:06:51,342
And you're with him right now,
is that right?

1055
01:06:51,425 --> 01:06:53,177
Yeah, he's got these engravings.

1056
01:06:53,260 --> 01:06:55,971
He says he's trying to crack
this international currency thing.

1057
01:06:56,055 --> 01:06:58,432
I don't know, it's not my kind of ‒

1058
01:06:58,516 --> 01:07:01,268
No, we're just related
by a pending marriage.

1059
01:07:01,352 --> 01:07:04,438
His son is marrying my daughter Sunday.

1060
01:07:04,522 --> 01:07:05,940
Thank you.

1061
01:07:06,691 --> 01:07:08,693
(chicken clucking)

1062
01:07:08,776 --> 01:07:10,986
Yeah, he's a little strange,
but I don't know,

1063
01:07:11,070 --> 01:07:13,072
there's also something lovable
about the guy.

1064
01:07:13,155 --> 01:07:16,951
Sure, he's lovable,
but he's completely out of his mind.

1065
01:07:17,034 --> 01:07:19,870
I could tell you stories.

1066
01:07:19,954 --> 01:07:21,455
Listen, listen.

1067
01:07:21,539 --> 01:07:24,709
Do yourself, do your family,
do me a favor.

1068
01:07:24,792 --> 01:07:27,169
Just stay the hell away from him.

1069
01:07:27,253 --> 01:07:30,297
Yeah. Sure.
Glad to be of service.

1070
01:07:37,722 --> 01:07:39,390
I thought you were getting a magazine.

1071
01:07:39,473 --> 01:07:42,226
Well, all they had was <i>Hustler</i> in Spanish.

1072
01:07:42,309 --> 01:07:44,395
"El Hustlero."

1073
01:07:44,478 --> 01:07:47,231
- You made a call.
- Yes, I did.

1074
01:07:47,314 --> 01:07:49,817
- You called the agency?
- Yes, I did.

1075
01:07:49,900 --> 01:07:51,402
And what did they say?

1076
01:07:51,485 --> 01:07:54,238
They said you were kicked out
of the agency because you were

1077
01:07:54,321 --> 01:07:55,906
A: dangerous and B: crazy.

1078
01:07:55,990 --> 01:07:59,410
- They really said that?
- Oh, yes.

1079
01:08:01,412 --> 01:08:03,664
(hooting, laughing)

1080
01:08:05,499 --> 01:08:08,169
You don't have a heart condition
or anything, do you, Shel?

1081
01:08:09,378 --> 01:08:11,088
- Get off of me.
- Listen to me.

1082
01:08:11,172 --> 01:08:13,132
You're a total stranger.
You called the agency.

1083
01:08:13,215 --> 01:08:16,677
- What do you think they're going to tell you?
- I don't know and I don't care.

1084
01:08:16,761 --> 01:08:19,930
You could be a foreign agent,
so they tell you that I'm washed up,

1085
01:08:20,014 --> 01:08:21,766
I'm out of the business, I'm nuts.

1086
01:08:21,849 --> 01:08:24,101
- Are you going to get off me?
- Not yet.

1087
01:08:24,185 --> 01:08:27,271
They did the hundred percent correct thing
telling you that I was nuts.

1088
01:08:27,354 --> 01:08:30,941
Do you understand that
it was simply a fabrication?

1089
01:08:31,025 --> 01:08:34,445
- If I say yes, will you get off me?
- If it's a sincere yes.

1090
01:08:34,528 --> 01:08:36,071
Then the answer is yes.

1091
01:08:36,155 --> 01:08:39,283
I believe it was simply a fabrication
to get me off the trail.

1092
01:08:39,366 --> 01:08:41,619
I knew you'd understand.

1093
01:08:46,081 --> 01:08:47,416
- Let's go.
- No way.

1094
01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:49,960
- What's this "no way"?
- No way is no way.

1095
01:08:50,044 --> 01:08:52,463
I'm off the case here.
I'm done with this nonsense.

1096
01:08:52,546 --> 01:08:55,257
Sheldon, now, I just explained to you
it was a fabricated ‒

1097
01:08:55,341 --> 01:08:58,636
No, you see, it makes no difference
if you're sane or if you're crazy

1098
01:08:58,719 --> 01:09:01,096
or if you're with the agency
or not with the agency.

1099
01:09:01,180 --> 01:09:03,808
It has no bearing on my life.
I hate all of this.

1100
01:09:03,891 --> 01:09:07,144
- From here on in, it's cut and dry.
- It's not cut, and it's not dry.

1101
01:09:07,228 --> 01:09:10,564
It is. We go to the general.
Drop off the engravings.

1102
01:09:11,524 --> 01:09:12,817
Sheldon.

1103
01:09:12,900 --> 01:09:15,903
Vince, if it's so cut and dry,
you don't need me, right?

1104
01:09:15,986 --> 01:09:18,489
Go in peace.
I'll take a commercial flight home.

1105
01:09:18,572 --> 01:09:21,992
If the Treasury Department is waiting for me,
I'll tell them what little I know.

1106
01:09:22,076 --> 01:09:24,286
Chances are they'll probably
just feel sorry for me.

1107
01:09:24,370 --> 01:09:27,248
But I will not be shot at any longer.
Is that clear?

1108
01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:30,000
Okay. Really.

1109
01:09:30,084 --> 01:09:32,461
I can understand
a person with your background,

1110
01:09:32,545 --> 01:09:34,213
it's difficult, it's not easy.

1111
01:09:34,296 --> 01:09:36,674
If you like,
I'll wait here at the hotel for you.

1112
01:09:36,757 --> 01:09:38,843
But no more running, no more shooting.

1113
01:09:38,926 --> 01:09:40,845
From here on in, I'm a bystander.

1114
01:09:42,137 --> 01:09:44,473
Okay.

1115
01:09:44,557 --> 01:09:46,517
When you're right, you're right.

1116
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,019
Just don't go home without me.
Huh, Shel?

1117
01:09:49,103 --> 01:09:51,689
Geez, I couldn't take that kind of rejection.

1118
01:09:51,772 --> 01:09:55,192
We'll go home with Billy and Bing.
Have a few laughs, okay?

1119
01:09:55,860 --> 01:09:58,696
- You gonna be long?
- I'll be back within an hour.

1120
01:09:58,779 --> 01:10:00,281
Okay.

1121
01:10:00,364 --> 01:10:03,367
That's kind of you, Shel.
I really appreciate that.

1122
01:10:10,416 --> 01:10:12,084
- Taxi, señor?
<i>- Sí.</i>

1123
01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:14,128
501 United Fruit Boulevard.

1124
01:10:14,211 --> 01:10:15,713
Pronto.

1125
01:10:27,224 --> 01:10:28,726
Oh, God!

1126
01:10:30,561 --> 01:10:31,896
I can't.

1127
01:10:34,023 --> 01:10:36,025
Hey!

1128
01:10:36,108 --> 01:10:37,610
Vince!

1129
01:10:42,573 --> 01:10:45,034
Jesus Christ. What the hell was that?

1130
01:10:45,117 --> 01:10:46,452
(Spanish)

1131
01:10:50,456 --> 01:10:52,499
<i>Imposible.</i>

1132
01:10:55,461 --> 01:10:57,171
(whimpers)

1133
01:10:57,254 --> 01:10:59,214
(shouting in Spanish)

1134
01:11:01,634 --> 01:11:03,761
(screaming)

1135
01:11:04,970 --> 01:11:07,097
(horns honking)

1136
01:11:11,185 --> 01:11:12,853
(Spanish continues)

1137
01:11:17,024 --> 01:11:19,151
- Vince!
- Shelly!

1138
01:11:19,234 --> 01:11:21,487
Stop the car. It's Sheldon.

1139
01:11:21,570 --> 01:11:24,198
It's me up here, Vince.

1140
01:11:24,281 --> 01:11:26,617
- Can you stop the car?
- Maybe you're right, Sheldon.

1141
01:11:26,700 --> 01:11:28,994
- Vince?
- Maybe you're right.

1142
01:11:29,703 --> 01:11:30,871
Oh, boy.

1143
01:11:32,373 --> 01:11:33,916
(horn honks)

1144
01:11:33,999 --> 01:11:36,669
Nice work, Sheldon. Piece of cake.

1145
01:11:38,337 --> 01:11:40,547
Piece of cake, Sheldon.

1146
01:11:40,631 --> 01:11:43,133
- Vince, stop the car!
- I'm trying.

1147
01:11:55,270 --> 01:11:57,106
- (groans)
- You okay?

1148
01:11:57,189 --> 01:11:59,108
Yeah, I think so.

1149
01:11:59,191 --> 01:12:01,694
You can't blame me for this.
You volunteered.

1150
01:12:01,777 --> 01:12:04,905
- (groans)
- And a wonderful gesture it was.

1151
01:12:06,031 --> 01:12:08,826
(shouting in Spanish)

1152
01:12:09,743 --> 01:12:12,162
- (bystanders shouting)
- VINCE: Let's go.

1153
01:12:12,246 --> 01:12:15,499
Stay low, Sheldon. Stay low.

1154
01:12:17,251 --> 01:12:18,919
- (gunfire continues)
- (grunting)

1155
01:12:20,421 --> 01:12:24,341
Sheldon, come here.
Come here, Sheldon. Come on.

1156
01:12:24,425 --> 01:12:27,011
Grab him by his shoulders, Shel.
And pull.

1157
01:12:27,094 --> 01:12:29,346
- All right.
- Stay down, Shel. Stay down.

1158
01:12:31,015 --> 01:12:33,183
Stay low, Sheldon.

1159
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:48,032
What a guy.

1160
01:12:48,115 --> 01:12:49,616
(woman screaming)

1161
01:12:55,622 --> 01:12:58,625
- Get in the cab, Shel.
- (glass shattering)

1162
01:13:07,134 --> 01:13:09,428
Shel? In the cab, Shel.

1163
01:13:11,180 --> 01:13:14,808
- That was a magnificent thing you did.
- It was instinct. I went crazy.

1164
01:13:14,892 --> 01:13:16,393
It was pure heroism.

1165
01:13:16,477 --> 01:13:19,605
And don't think I don't know
how deeply you feel about me, Shel.

1166
01:13:19,688 --> 01:13:21,398
It gives me such a warm feeling.

1167
01:13:28,572 --> 01:13:31,200
Okay, hang on.
This is gonna be a little rough.

1168
01:13:49,927 --> 01:13:52,930
Next time we're in Tijada, Shel,
don't let me forget.

1169
01:13:53,013 --> 01:13:56,183
They make a chicken sandwich here.
They serve it on a hard roll.

1170
01:13:56,266 --> 01:14:00,062
They heat it up with orange juice.
You know, <i>grande,</i> a big one.

1171
01:14:00,145 --> 01:14:01,939
Or pineapple juice.

1172
01:14:02,022 --> 01:14:04,316
And coffee. Do you take coffee, Shel?

1173
01:14:04,399 --> 01:14:07,236
Espresso with that beautiful foam.

1174
01:14:07,319 --> 01:14:08,821
Oh, Jesus, pigs.

1175
01:14:09,571 --> 01:14:12,282
(squealing)

1176
01:14:13,408 --> 01:14:15,244
<i>(pig squealing)</i>

1177
01:14:15,327 --> 01:14:17,704
Don't they squeal when they die?

1178
01:14:17,788 --> 01:14:19,957
No, the pig is alive, Shel.

1179
01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:21,708
You know, I'm such a great driver,

1180
01:14:21,792 --> 01:14:24,336
it's incomprehensible
that they took my license away.

1181
01:14:25,379 --> 01:14:27,840
(shouting in Spanish)

1182
01:14:37,891 --> 01:14:39,893
(horn honking)

1183
01:15:02,708 --> 01:15:04,543
Okay.

1184
01:15:04,626 --> 01:15:06,253
What are you doing?

1185
01:15:09,548 --> 01:15:11,758
(horn honking)

1186
01:15:12,342 --> 01:15:15,387
(tires squealing)

1187
01:15:22,269 --> 01:15:23,687
(shouting in Spanish)

1188
01:15:32,696 --> 01:15:33,947
Again?

1189
01:15:59,431 --> 01:16:01,433
(horn honking)

1190
01:16:02,309 --> 01:16:05,437
(gunfire)

1191
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:08,106
Okay.

1192
01:16:08,649 --> 01:16:12,986
- (tires squeal)
- (horn honking)

1193
01:16:25,415 --> 01:16:28,418
SHELDON: Holy shit!

1194
01:16:30,545 --> 01:16:34,174
Now that was a little close, I admit it.
I cut it a little fine.

1195
01:16:34,258 --> 01:16:37,302
(shouting in Spanish)

1196
01:16:39,554 --> 01:16:42,099
VINCE: Coming through. Emergency.

1197
01:16:42,182 --> 01:16:44,101
Out of the way, please. Emergency.

1198
01:16:44,184 --> 01:16:47,187
- Jesus Christ! Oh, my God!
- Out of the way. Police emergency!

1199
01:16:47,271 --> 01:16:48,689
Coming through!

1200
01:16:55,404 --> 01:16:57,906
(horn honking)

1201
01:17:15,215 --> 01:17:19,886
Okay. Sometimes I'm so smart
I scare myself.

1202
01:17:28,270 --> 01:17:29,896
(shouts in Spanish)

1203
01:17:35,319 --> 01:17:37,904
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

1204
01:17:37,988 --> 01:17:42,075
I gotta give you credit, Vince.
You son of a gun, ya!

1205
01:17:42,159 --> 01:17:44,703
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

1206
01:18:11,688 --> 01:18:13,857
- What's the story on this guy?
- The general?

1207
01:18:13,940 --> 01:18:16,526
- Yeah.
- Very interesting gentleman.

1208
01:18:16,610 --> 01:18:19,363
Two things, Shel.
Don't say anything about his scar.

1209
01:18:19,446 --> 01:18:21,365
His scar?
What do you mean? What scar?

1210
01:18:21,448 --> 01:18:24,368
You'll see it, but don't see it.
You follow my drift?

1211
01:18:24,451 --> 01:18:27,662
The other thing, be sure
to compliment his art collection.

1212
01:18:29,414 --> 01:18:32,209
Vince, my good friend.

1213
01:18:32,292 --> 01:18:34,127
- My general.
- (laughing)

1214
01:18:34,211 --> 01:18:36,213
- Hmm.
- A "Z"?

1215
01:18:36,296 --> 01:18:38,090
- What?
- A "Z"?

1216
01:18:38,173 --> 01:18:41,134
Uh, General, I'd like you
to meet Dr. Sheldon Kornpett.

1217
01:18:41,218 --> 01:18:45,055
Uh, Sheldon has provided invaluable
assistance to the success of this mission.

1218
01:18:45,138 --> 01:18:47,391
Really? Dr. Kornpett.

1219
01:18:47,474 --> 01:18:49,935
Please, gentlemen, enter.

1220
01:18:50,811 --> 01:18:52,145
Oh!

1221
01:18:52,229 --> 01:18:54,272
(chuckles)

1222
01:18:54,356 --> 01:18:56,525
You noticed my friend, eh?

1223
01:18:56,608 --> 01:18:58,902
This is Señor Pepe.

1224
01:18:58,985 --> 01:19:00,445
(high-pitched voice)
Hello.

1225
01:19:00,529 --> 01:19:03,448
Señor Pepe, do you like this man?

1226
01:19:03,532 --> 01:19:06,159
<i>Oh, sí, sí</i>. Very much.

1227
01:19:06,243 --> 01:19:09,329
Uh, shall we invite these men to sit down?

1228
01:19:09,413 --> 01:19:11,289
<i>Oh, sí, sí. Sí, sí.</i>

1229
01:19:12,082 --> 01:19:16,753
Señor Pepe, would you like
to give this man a kiss?

1230
01:19:16,837 --> 01:19:20,465
Oh! <i>Sí, sí, sí.</i>

1231
01:19:20,549 --> 01:19:22,300
(loud kiss)
He's nice?

1232
01:19:22,384 --> 01:19:23,927
(high-pitched voice)
Very nice.

1233
01:19:24,010 --> 01:19:27,264
(kissing) He's nice?
(high-pitched voice) He's nice.

1234
01:19:27,347 --> 01:19:29,599
He very handsome.
(kissing)

1235
01:19:29,683 --> 01:19:32,102
All right, all right, that's enough.

1236
01:19:32,185 --> 01:19:35,397
General, that's a hell of an act.
You're a very gifted man.

1237
01:19:35,480 --> 01:19:36,982
<i>Muchas gracias.</i>

1238
01:19:38,024 --> 01:19:39,651
We go in.

1239
01:19:39,734 --> 01:19:43,113
- Jesus, he's a raving fruitcake.
- Don't underestimate him.

1240
01:19:43,196 --> 01:19:44,656
- The art.
- The art.

1241
01:19:44,739 --> 01:19:48,285
General, your art collection
never fails to take my breath away.

1242
01:19:48,368 --> 01:19:50,412
Oh, the toreador's wonderful.

1243
01:19:50,495 --> 01:19:52,789
Ah, I paid $50,000 for this.

1244
01:19:52,873 --> 01:19:55,083
- Jesus, what a schmuck.
- Shut up.

1245
01:19:55,167 --> 01:20:00,005
This, uh ‒ This tiger, I recently
purchased for only 25,000,

1246
01:20:00,088 --> 01:20:02,466
but I believe it is one of his best.

1247
01:20:02,549 --> 01:20:04,634
Note the plasticity,

1248
01:20:04,718 --> 01:20:07,053
the almost Renaissance use
of the perspective.

1249
01:20:07,137 --> 01:20:10,265
- Yes, he got the stripes almost perfectly.
- That's right, Shelly.

1250
01:20:10,348 --> 01:20:13,935
Notice the whiskers. My God, you could
almost reach out and touch 'em.

1251
01:20:14,019 --> 01:20:16,980
That's the tip-off
to a great work of art.

1252
01:20:17,063 --> 01:20:19,316
Not everybody appreciates genius.

1253
01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:22,986
- There are a lot of boors in the world.
- Ah, you can say that twice.

1254
01:20:23,069 --> 01:20:26,656
I commissioned this great man
to do a new flag for this country.

1255
01:20:26,740 --> 01:20:29,117
And it incites screaming.

1256
01:20:29,201 --> 01:20:32,204
Ah, I show you, hmm?

1257
01:20:40,629 --> 01:20:43,590
- VINCE: Ah.
- Now, this is a flag.

1258
01:20:43,673 --> 01:20:47,219
Ah, take your breath away.
Shel, can you believe that?

1259
01:20:47,302 --> 01:20:49,804
General, it's <i>magnífico.</i>

1260
01:20:49,888 --> 01:20:51,973
And is that Mrs. General there?

1261
01:20:52,057 --> 01:20:53,517
Oh.

1262
01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:54,935
No, no.

1263
01:20:55,018 --> 01:20:58,063
This is a girl from the village.
This is a prostitute.

1264
01:20:59,272 --> 01:21:01,024
If it was not for the church,

1265
01:21:01,107 --> 01:21:04,528
this flag would already today
be flying at the UN.

1266
01:21:04,611 --> 01:21:07,864
But no, they stand in the way.
They stand in the way!

1267
01:21:07,948 --> 01:21:09,324
- See? See?
- Ah, General.

1268
01:21:09,407 --> 01:21:12,452
You know, the world is full of reactionaries.
People with small minds.

1269
01:21:12,536 --> 01:21:15,163
(high-pitched voice, Spanish)
(normal voice) What's that? You are thirsty?

1270
01:21:15,247 --> 01:21:17,415
<i>Sí</i>. (speaks Spanish)

1271
01:21:17,499 --> 01:21:21,086
- (chuckles)
- Ah, he wants ‒ he wants cold water, Shel.

1272
01:21:21,169 --> 01:21:23,296
That's what that means.

1273
01:21:26,049 --> 01:21:29,594
All right?
<i>Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Gracias.</i>

1274
01:21:33,723 --> 01:21:35,225
Uh, General?

1275
01:21:36,518 --> 01:21:38,937
<i>Sí</i>. Down to business.

1276
01:21:39,020 --> 01:21:41,523
That's right, sir.
Do you have the money?

1277
01:21:41,606 --> 01:21:42,941
(bell rings)

1278
01:21:48,989 --> 01:21:51,741
These are the best security men
in the world.

1279
01:21:51,825 --> 01:21:54,578
They used to work
for JCPenney in Detroit.

1280
01:21:54,661 --> 01:21:57,581
You know, if I'm not mistaken,
I once bought a comb there.

1281
01:21:57,664 --> 01:21:59,749
- Hmm?
- As a matter of fact, I did, Shel.

1282
01:21:59,833 --> 01:22:01,334
Little pocket comb.

1283
01:22:09,467 --> 01:22:11,720
Ten million, <i>exactamente.</i>

1284
01:22:11,803 --> 01:22:14,222
And the other 10?

1285
01:22:14,306 --> 01:22:16,182
These are small enough?

1286
01:22:16,266 --> 01:22:18,560
They're fine. Perfect.

1287
01:22:19,436 --> 01:22:21,354
- Sheldon?
- What's that?

1288
01:22:21,438 --> 01:22:23,732
Five million bucks.
Just hang on to it.

1289
01:22:23,815 --> 01:22:25,692
Five million dollars?

1290
01:22:25,775 --> 01:22:30,822
Uh, General, it gives me
great pleasure to present ‒

1291
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,501
Oh.

1292
01:22:44,085 --> 01:22:45,587
Beautiful.

1293
01:22:45,670 --> 01:22:48,673
Made by Uncle Sam
with his own greedy little fingers.

1294
01:22:48,757 --> 01:22:51,384
Oh, <i>fantástico.</i>

1295
01:23:01,436 --> 01:23:04,147
- Would you like to see?
- Oh, love to, General.

1296
01:23:04,230 --> 01:23:07,400
Shel, you too.
This is extremely educational.

1297
01:23:09,235 --> 01:23:11,279
- When are you gonna arrest this guy?
- Relax.

1298
01:23:11,363 --> 01:23:13,823
- Nobody is arresting nobody.
- Why not?

1299
01:23:13,907 --> 01:23:16,576
Just go with the flow, Shel.
Just go with the flow.

1300
01:23:16,660 --> 01:23:18,411
What flow? There isn't any flow.

1301
01:23:19,788 --> 01:23:22,123
These are engravings
from all over the world.

1302
01:23:22,207 --> 01:23:25,710
VINCE: This is unbelievable.
General, I'm very impressed.

1303
01:23:25,794 --> 01:23:27,754
Heat it up. We are ready.

1304
01:23:27,837 --> 01:23:30,507
- How much of this you gonna run off?
- 300 billion.

1305
01:23:30,590 --> 01:23:32,509
Oh, that'll do it.
That's more than enough.

1306
01:23:32,592 --> 01:23:34,344
- Sounds like plenty.
- It's a lot, huh?

1307
01:23:34,427 --> 01:23:36,805
It will bring the Western punks
to their knees.

1308
01:23:36,888 --> 01:23:38,765
Me and my good American friends.

1309
01:23:38,848 --> 01:23:42,102
- It's a wonderful thing, General.
- I don't know when I've felt so proud.

1310
01:23:42,185 --> 01:23:47,190
In 72 hours, the monetary system of the world
will collapse like a wet taco.

1311
01:23:47,273 --> 01:23:49,109
A very fine analogy, sir.

1312
01:23:49,192 --> 01:23:51,194
Blood will run in the streets of Zurich.

1313
01:23:51,277 --> 01:23:54,406
German bankers will just
throw themselves under the trolley.

1314
01:23:54,489 --> 01:23:56,574
Widows and orphans
will be left penniless.

1315
01:23:56,658 --> 01:23:58,451
- Sounds good to me.
- There will be panic.

1316
01:23:58,535 --> 01:24:02,038
There will be looting,
rioting in the streets and suicides.

1317
01:24:02,122 --> 01:24:03,373
Fabulous.

1318
01:24:03,456 --> 01:24:07,001
And you,
my dear, sweet American friends,

1319
01:24:08,628 --> 01:24:10,964
you were here right at the start.

1320
01:24:12,841 --> 01:24:14,342
Come.

1321
01:24:14,426 --> 01:24:15,802
We celebrate.

1322
01:24:15,885 --> 01:24:20,932
♪ I think that I shall never see ♪

1323
01:24:21,015 --> 01:24:25,270
♪ A poem lovely as a tree ♪

1324
01:24:25,353 --> 01:24:30,400
♪ A tree whose hungry mouth
is pressed ♪

1325
01:24:30,483 --> 01:24:34,988
♪ Against the earth's
sweet flowing breast ♪

1326
01:24:35,071 --> 01:24:41,119
♪ A tree that looks at God all day ♪

1327
01:24:41,202 --> 01:24:47,792
- ♪ And lifts her leafy arms to pray ♪
- ♪♪ (humming along)

1328
01:24:47,876 --> 01:24:50,879
- ♪ A tree that may in summer wear ♪
- This chicken is really sensational.

1329
01:24:50,962 --> 01:24:54,883
- Do you want to give out the recipe?
- No, no, it's all Tijada's secret.

1330
01:24:54,966 --> 01:24:57,177
The <i>pollo</i> must be marinated
for six weeks.

1331
01:24:57,260 --> 01:25:00,930
Well, it's very, very good.
You don't get this kind of stuff in New York.

1332
01:25:01,014 --> 01:25:03,933
Vince, you're not hungry?
You just pick?

1333
01:25:04,017 --> 01:25:06,478
(high-pitched voice)
Yes, yes, yes. He just pick.

1334
01:25:06,561 --> 01:25:08,062
Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick.

1335
01:25:08,146 --> 01:25:10,648
It kills me, the way you do that.
It kills me.

1336
01:25:10,732 --> 01:25:12,233
He no like the food?

1337
01:25:12,317 --> 01:25:14,861
No, no. He no like the food.

1338
01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:18,531
No, no, the food is terrific.
It's just that my stomach is a little upset.

1339
01:25:18,615 --> 01:25:21,159
And I have to stay away
from all marinated birds.

1340
01:25:21,701 --> 01:25:24,496
- Did I just hear a doorbell?
- ♪♪ (ends)

1341
01:25:24,579 --> 01:25:26,706
Bravo. Bravo, bravo.

1342
01:25:26,790 --> 01:25:29,834
Excellent, excellent.
A new Red Army choir.

1343
01:25:29,918 --> 01:25:31,836
<i>Gracias. Gracias</i>. Vincent.

1344
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:35,548
Oh, yes, extremely gifted.

1345
01:25:37,133 --> 01:25:40,386
♪ As I was walking down the street ♪

1346
01:25:40,470 --> 01:25:42,680
♪ Down the street, down the street ♪

1347
01:25:42,764 --> 01:25:46,100
And now, my friends, special surprise.

1348
01:25:46,184 --> 01:25:47,977
Please, follow me.

1349
01:25:48,061 --> 01:25:49,979
♪ Buffalo gals,
won't you come out tonight ♪

1350
01:25:50,063 --> 01:25:52,732
General, what's the traffic like
this time of day?

1351
01:25:53,608 --> 01:25:55,944
I gotta say I'm having a very good time.

1352
01:25:56,027 --> 01:25:59,113
This guy may be a dictator, but there's
something still very innocent about him.

1353
01:25:59,197 --> 01:26:02,325
Oh, yes, extremely innocent.
You know, I think my hearing is shot.

1354
01:26:02,408 --> 01:26:05,036
- Did you just hear a helicopter?
- Nope.

1355
01:26:05,119 --> 01:26:07,163
Vince! Vince!

1356
01:26:07,247 --> 01:26:09,833
Gentlemen, gentlemen, come!

1357
01:26:09,916 --> 01:26:11,167
♪ Come out tonight ♪

1358
01:26:11,251 --> 01:26:13,169
♪ Buffalo gals,
won't you come out tonight ♪

1359
01:26:13,253 --> 01:26:15,088
♪ And dance by the light of the moon? ♪♪

1360
01:26:15,171 --> 01:26:20,343
I would like to present you with the coveted
General Garcia Medal of Freedom.

1361
01:26:20,426 --> 01:26:22,762
Oh, General, how nice.

1362
01:26:22,846 --> 01:26:25,014
To my wonderful American friends.

1363
01:26:25,098 --> 01:26:27,642
- My brave American friends.
- (laughing)

1364
01:26:27,725 --> 01:26:29,435
May I share something with you?

1365
01:26:30,270 --> 01:26:32,272
I am a pacifist by nature

1366
01:26:32,355 --> 01:26:36,192
with a deep, Quaker belief
in the sanctity of human life.

1367
01:26:37,193 --> 01:26:39,863
I wish I had the choice but to kill you.

1368
01:26:39,946 --> 01:26:41,906
What'd he say?

1369
01:26:41,990 --> 01:26:45,076
- You heard right.
<i>- Vaya con Dios.</i>

1370
01:26:46,911 --> 01:26:49,622
<i>¡Presenten armas!</i>

1371
01:26:51,207 --> 01:26:53,459
Okay, what's our next move?

1372
01:26:53,543 --> 01:26:56,045
Move? No more moves. This is it.

1373
01:26:56,129 --> 01:26:59,716
- No kidding around. What do we do?
- This is it, Shel. That's all she wrote.

1374
01:26:59,799 --> 01:27:02,093
- Come on, Vince. What's the plan?
- I'm wide open.

1375
01:27:02,176 --> 01:27:04,387
- What do you got in mind?
- (snaps fingers)

1376
01:27:04,470 --> 01:27:07,265
<i>¡Apunten!</i>

1377
01:27:07,348 --> 01:27:09,517
- Can't we create some kind of diversion?
- Like what?

1378
01:27:09,601 --> 01:27:12,395
How the hell do I know?
You're the expert. Think of something.

1379
01:27:12,478 --> 01:27:14,564
- I'll give it a shot.
<i>- ¡Apunten!</i>

1380
01:27:14,647 --> 01:27:16,399
- General?
<i>- ¿Sí?</i>

1381
01:27:16,482 --> 01:27:18,735
May I interject for a moment, please?

1382
01:27:18,818 --> 01:27:20,862
<i>- Sí.
- ¡Firmes!</i>

1383
01:27:20,945 --> 01:27:22,322
General.

1384
01:27:23,531 --> 01:27:25,867
Spare this man.

1385
01:27:25,950 --> 01:27:28,745
This man, Sheldon Kornpett.

1386
01:27:28,828 --> 01:27:30,747
Shelly, I call him.

1387
01:27:30,830 --> 01:27:33,416
He's a great dentist from New York,

1388
01:27:33,499 --> 01:27:37,337
a city in which,
as you probably know, General,

1389
01:27:37,420 --> 01:27:39,964
there are thousands
of Spanish-speaking people

1390
01:27:40,048 --> 01:27:44,260
who stand in dire need
of extensive bridgework.

1391
01:27:44,344 --> 01:27:47,764
And this man's death, I'm afraid,

1392
01:27:47,847 --> 01:27:52,101
would be a crushing blow
to whatever small hopes they might have

1393
01:27:52,185 --> 01:27:55,355
for a healthier set of teeth and gums.

1394
01:27:57,106 --> 01:28:00,026
(shouting) That was it?
The dental thing? I'm a dead man!

1395
01:28:00,109 --> 01:28:03,279
But they will have
great memories of you.

1396
01:28:04,280 --> 01:28:06,991
<i>¡Preparen armas!</i>

1397
01:28:08,368 --> 01:28:11,287
This is it? My life is over.

1398
01:28:11,371 --> 01:28:13,122
Forty-three years.

1399
01:28:13,206 --> 01:28:16,834
I've only had four women,
two of them my wife.

1400
01:28:16,918 --> 01:28:19,504
- Once before and once afterwards.
- General.

1401
01:28:19,587 --> 01:28:21,965
Even in the army, I never fooled around.

1402
01:28:22,048 --> 01:28:24,300
General, I'm not one
to pat myself on the back,

1403
01:28:24,384 --> 01:28:27,011
but I could have told you
he was gonna blow sky high.

1404
01:28:27,095 --> 01:28:29,764
- He's simply not equipped, General.
- My father, that son of a bitch.

1405
01:28:29,847 --> 01:28:31,766
I never told him off.
And now he's dead.

1406
01:28:31,849 --> 01:28:34,727
General, could we have a sedative
for Shel here?

1407
01:28:34,811 --> 01:28:37,021
- This is not right.
- I have no drugs.

1408
01:28:37,105 --> 01:28:39,232
- An aspirin then?
- I have no aspirins.

1409
01:28:39,315 --> 01:28:41,567
- Only herbal teas.
- Fine, get the tea.

1410
01:28:41,651 --> 01:28:45,780
- There is no time for tea.
- (Sheldon muttering)

1411
01:28:45,863 --> 01:28:48,574
General, I insist on
at least a blindfold for Shel here.

1412
01:28:48,658 --> 01:28:51,327
I have no blindfolds, señor.
This is a poor country, please.

1413
01:28:51,411 --> 01:28:54,038
I really hate to be
a pain in the ass about this.

1414
01:28:54,122 --> 01:28:56,749
- Don't care if I live or die!
- But the Geneva Convention stipulates ‒

1415
01:28:56,833 --> 01:28:59,210
- I've always loved this country.
- that firing squad victims ‒

1416
01:28:59,293 --> 01:29:01,671
and I'm afraid we fall into that category ‒

1417
01:29:01,754 --> 01:29:04,882
are required to be given
the option of a blindfold.

1418
01:29:04,966 --> 01:29:08,219
- Otherwise, you can be reported.
- Who is going to report me?

1419
01:29:08,302 --> 01:29:11,431
Your ghost?
Is your ghost going to report me?

1420
01:29:11,514 --> 01:29:14,017
- (muttering)
- (laughing)

1421
01:29:14,100 --> 01:29:17,186
General, I insist on at least
a blindfold for Shel here.

1422
01:29:17,270 --> 01:29:19,939
Come on, be a man!
Please be a man!

1423
01:29:20,023 --> 01:29:22,692
I have to shoot you now
and go and do my business.

1424
01:29:22,775 --> 01:29:24,485
Stand up straight, be a man.

1425
01:29:24,569 --> 01:29:27,864
I hate to go through this thing
without at least the option of a blindfold.

1426
01:29:27,947 --> 01:29:30,867
- Ho! Bandanas!
<i>- Gracias, señor.</i>

1427
01:29:30,950 --> 01:29:34,120
<i>Sí, sí</i>. Hey, Vince,
you won't forget I did this, eh?

1428
01:29:34,203 --> 01:29:37,123
- And we're supposed to have cigarettes.
- Cigarettes?

1429
01:29:37,206 --> 01:29:39,584
SHELDON: If you know my heart,
as you say you do.

1430
01:29:39,667 --> 01:29:41,836
But it's been simple negligence.
It hasn't been disbelief.

1431
01:29:41,919 --> 01:29:44,547
<i>- Gracias.</i>
- Oh, oh, what was that?

1432
01:29:44,630 --> 01:29:45,965
That was a cigarette!

1433
01:29:46,049 --> 01:29:48,217
- I don't smoke. (laughing)
- This isn't lit, General.

1434
01:29:48,301 --> 01:29:49,635
<i>¡Apunten!</i>

1435
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:51,929
(laughing loudly)

1436
01:29:52,013 --> 01:29:53,514
- My cigarette ‒
- (gunfire)

1437
01:29:53,598 --> 01:29:55,725
Ooh! Ooh! Am I shot? Am I shot?

1438
01:29:55,808 --> 01:29:57,977
(gunfire continues)

1439
01:30:01,064 --> 01:30:02,732
- Get down!
- What?

1440
01:30:02,815 --> 01:30:04,817
- Shel, get down.
- I can't hear you.

1441
01:30:04,901 --> 01:30:06,527
Can you get down?

1442
01:30:06,611 --> 01:30:08,821
- Get down! Are you down?
- Yes!

1443
01:30:09,697 --> 01:30:11,199
Miguel!

1444
01:30:11,657 --> 01:30:13,576
<i>¡Rápido!¡Rápido!</i>

1445
01:30:13,659 --> 01:30:15,828
(gunfire continues)

1446
01:30:18,831 --> 01:30:20,792
- VINCE: Can you move?
- Yeah, I can try.

1447
01:30:20,875 --> 01:30:22,376
- Are ya moving?
- Yeah.

1448
01:30:22,460 --> 01:30:24,504
Keep moving.

1449
01:30:31,677 --> 01:30:34,347
(shouting)

1450
01:30:36,682 --> 01:30:38,851
(gunfire continues)

1451
01:30:52,698 --> 01:30:54,158
(men chattering)

1452
01:30:54,242 --> 01:30:56,244
- Vince?
- Barry?

1453
01:30:56,327 --> 01:30:59,455
- You can get up. It's all over.
- Shel, we can get up now.

1454
01:30:59,539 --> 01:31:02,166
Where the hell were you, Barry?
We almost croaked here.

1455
01:31:02,250 --> 01:31:04,794
- Oh, the traffic was brutal.
- You knew he was coming?

1456
01:31:04,877 --> 01:31:06,462
- You Shelly Kornpett?
- Yeah.

1457
01:31:06,546 --> 01:31:08,172
- Barry Lutz.
- Oh, yeah.

1458
01:31:08,256 --> 01:31:11,467
- The guy I talked to on the telephone.
- I'm sorry to give you the runaround.

1459
01:31:11,551 --> 01:31:14,387
But I'm sure you understand now.
Vince, where are the engravings?

1460
01:31:14,470 --> 01:31:16,639
Well, he's got a vault
behind the tiger painting.

1461
01:31:16,722 --> 01:31:18,641
You know we almost got killed here?

1462
01:31:18,724 --> 01:31:21,561
Wait a minute. You made all that up
about him on the phone?

1463
01:31:21,644 --> 01:31:24,480
We really had to keep you in the dark, Shelly.
Vince, the money?

1464
01:31:24,564 --> 01:31:26,482
It's over here. The whole schmear.

1465
01:31:26,566 --> 01:31:29,777
- And we got another 10 ‒
- And it's in thousands.

1466
01:31:29,861 --> 01:31:31,988
- Stacks of 50.
- Yeah, and there's more. We got ‒

1467
01:31:32,071 --> 01:31:35,783
Yeah, a lot more, a lot more to the story
than we can tell you now, Barry.

1468
01:31:35,867 --> 01:31:37,493
- Beautiful.
- There is another 10 million.

1469
01:31:37,577 --> 01:31:40,037
- I give him 20, not 10!
- Of course you did.

1470
01:31:40,121 --> 01:31:43,833
This <i>bandido</i> has another 10!
<i>¡Ladrones!</i>

1471
01:31:43,916 --> 01:31:49,130
- Come on, get him the hell out of here.
<i>- ¡Ladrón! ¡Bandido¡ ¡Cabrón!</i>

1472
01:31:49,213 --> 01:31:53,092
<i>- ¡Bandido!¡Cabrón!</i>
- Guys, you did fantastic work.

1473
01:31:54,927 --> 01:31:57,638
- Relieved?
- Oh, yes.

1474
01:31:57,722 --> 01:31:59,891
- Great feeling, ain't it?
- Yes, it is.

1475
01:31:59,974 --> 01:32:03,561
We'd love to stand around and schmooze,
Barr, but we got a big day tomorrow.

1476
01:32:03,644 --> 01:32:07,315
- Our kids are getting married.
- Well, I couldn't be happier for both of you.

1477
01:32:07,398 --> 01:32:09,942
Uh, guess I won't see you
till Wednesday.

1478
01:32:10,526 --> 01:32:13,029
- Wednesday?
- Next Wednesday?

1479
01:32:13,112 --> 01:32:15,573
- We have a date in Peru.
- Uh ‒

1480
01:32:16,741 --> 01:32:18,367
I don't think so, Barry.

1481
01:32:18,451 --> 01:32:21,370
Sorry to run, but we gotta catch a plane.

1482
01:32:28,544 --> 01:32:31,130
Hey, wait a minute!

1483
01:32:32,548 --> 01:32:34,050
Vince!

1484
01:32:36,719 --> 01:32:39,222
What do you mean?
You're quitting the agency?

1485
01:32:39,305 --> 01:32:41,682
I've had it, Barry.
My kid's getting married tomorrow.

1486
01:32:41,766 --> 01:32:43,768
There's gonna be grandchildren.

1487
01:32:43,851 --> 01:32:45,728
I'm tired. It's over.

1488
01:32:45,811 --> 01:32:47,897
So take a desk job.

1489
01:32:47,980 --> 01:32:50,399
Nah, that's not for me.

1490
01:32:50,483 --> 01:32:54,612
I'll tell ya something else.
I don't believe in this crap anymore.

1491
01:32:54,695 --> 01:32:57,073
I mean, it used to be
like cowboys and Indians.

1492
01:32:57,156 --> 01:32:59,075
Now?

1493
01:32:59,158 --> 01:33:01,661
I almost died
for the international monetary system.

1494
01:33:01,744 --> 01:33:04,664
- I mean, what the hell is that?
- The family took a vote.

1495
01:33:04,747 --> 01:33:06,749
We want him out of this.

1496
01:33:09,502 --> 01:33:11,254
(engine starts)

1497
01:33:11,337 --> 01:33:13,756
You can make it on your pension?

1498
01:33:13,839 --> 01:33:15,800
I'll give it a shot.

1499
01:33:19,845 --> 01:33:21,973
(both laughing)

1500
01:33:22,056 --> 01:33:25,434
(laughing continues)

1501
01:33:25,518 --> 01:33:28,312
(laughing grows louder)

1502
01:33:31,107 --> 01:33:34,110
(laughing hysterically)

1503
01:33:36,404 --> 01:33:38,364
(crowd chattering)

1504
01:34:10,229 --> 01:34:14,483
Mom, we cannot wait any longer.
What's with them?

1505
01:34:14,567 --> 01:34:16,527
They called from the airport
two hours ago.

1506
01:34:16,610 --> 01:34:18,571
I know.

1507
01:34:18,654 --> 01:34:20,573
Well, you look so pretty.

1508
01:34:22,241 --> 01:34:24,660
What did Dad pull this time?

1509
01:34:24,744 --> 01:34:28,456
Tommy, why do you always assume
it's your father's fault?

1510
01:34:31,083 --> 01:34:33,586
Oh, of course it's his fault.

1511
01:34:35,921 --> 01:34:36,881
Man.

1512
01:34:36,964 --> 01:34:40,134
- I'll never forgive him.
- Carol, what do you think we should do?

1513
01:34:40,217 --> 01:34:41,761
- I don't know.
- Let's get going.

1514
01:34:41,844 --> 01:34:44,305
- Maybe they'll make it for lunch.
- Oh, it's such a shame.

1515
01:34:44,388 --> 01:34:47,058
- What'd you say?
- I said it's such a shame.

1516
01:34:47,141 --> 01:34:49,310
(helicopter whirring)

1517
01:34:49,393 --> 01:34:51,187
Holy shit.

1518
01:35:16,003 --> 01:35:18,422
(applause)

1519
01:35:26,222 --> 01:35:29,809
SHELDON: Oh! (chuckles) Made it.

1520
01:35:29,892 --> 01:35:31,894
(laughing)
Sorry we're late, folks.

1521
01:35:31,977 --> 01:35:35,106
VINCE: What a day.
What a guy. What an entrance.

1522
01:35:35,856 --> 01:35:38,067
- Off we go, Shel.
- Hey, Vince!

1523
01:35:38,150 --> 01:35:40,277
I didn't think you were gonna make it.

1524
01:35:40,361 --> 01:35:42,530
VINCE: How are the hors d'oeuvres?

1525
01:35:46,826 --> 01:35:48,828
Okay, let's do it!

1526
01:35:48,911 --> 01:35:51,080
- Thanks for waiting.
- Shelly.

1527
01:35:51,163 --> 01:35:53,290
- Mwah!
- Two days we were crazy.

1528
01:35:53,374 --> 01:35:55,626
Everything's terrific.
Ooh, you look wonderful.

1529
01:35:55,709 --> 01:35:57,420
- BARBARA: You okay?
- SHELDON: Yeah, I'm great.

1530
01:35:57,503 --> 01:35:59,964
- You'll never know how great.
- Oh, honey, we have to start.

1531
01:36:00,047 --> 01:36:02,425
Just give the orchestra
five minutes to tune up.

1532
01:36:02,508 --> 01:36:04,927
Orchestra?
Sylvia Jacobs is playing the piano.

1533
01:36:05,010 --> 01:36:07,930
- No, no, we have an orchestra.
- Dad, will you please be serious?

1534
01:36:08,013 --> 01:36:11,100
I'm serious. We have Carmen Dragon
and the Paramus Philharmonic.

1535
01:36:11,183 --> 01:36:12,643
- Shelly.
- Listen.

1536
01:36:12,726 --> 01:36:15,104
(orchestra tuning up)

1537
01:36:16,814 --> 01:36:19,316
Oh, my God!
(giggling)

1538
01:36:24,196 --> 01:36:26,282
- Tom?
- Dad.

1539
01:36:26,365 --> 01:36:29,326
Dad, where the hell have you been?

1540
01:36:37,668 --> 01:36:39,920
Well, you're really a man now, Tom.

1541
01:36:42,506 --> 01:36:45,634
Remember how we used to play ball
together on Nagle Avenue?

1542
01:36:46,427 --> 01:36:48,846
We never played ball together
on Nagle Avenue.

1543
01:36:48,929 --> 01:36:51,474
We talked about
playing ball together, but ‒

1544
01:36:51,557 --> 01:36:54,602
Well, maybe this will make it up to you.

1545
01:36:54,685 --> 01:36:56,729
This is from Shelly and me.

1546
01:36:56,812 --> 01:36:58,314
Barbara got one too.

1547
01:37:18,209 --> 01:37:21,545
- Dad, this is a million dollars.
- Yeah, it's not enough? I'll give you more.

1548
01:37:21,629 --> 01:37:23,756
I finally impressed my son.

1549
01:37:24,798 --> 01:37:28,677
- Dad, is this all from root canals?
- Well, that and the lectures.

1550
01:37:28,761 --> 01:37:30,763
Daddy.

1551
01:37:30,846 --> 01:37:32,348
(tapping music stand)

1552
01:37:37,937 --> 01:37:43,192
♪♪ ("The Bridal Chorus")

1553
01:37:54,495 --> 01:37:58,541
Oh, God. Oh, my God. I knew it.
I could feel it coming.

1554
01:37:58,624 --> 01:38:02,461
- This is it, Vince. This is it.
- Let me do the talking.

1555
01:38:03,128 --> 01:38:04,463
Hey, Barr!

1556
01:38:07,550 --> 01:38:09,552
What a nice surprise.

1557
01:38:10,636 --> 01:38:13,347
I didn't think you'd be all
that delighted to see me, Vince.

1558
01:38:13,430 --> 01:38:15,558
Frankly, I'm just shocked
and disappointed.

1559
01:38:15,641 --> 01:38:17,893
- Barry, it's very simple.
- It's simple.

1560
01:38:17,977 --> 01:38:19,436
- We counted wrong, Barr.
- Dad ‒

1561
01:38:19,520 --> 01:38:22,898
- Why don't you go wait in the house?
- I'd like your daughter to be here, Sheldon.

1562
01:38:22,982 --> 01:38:24,650
- What is this about?
- What is this about?

1563
01:38:24,733 --> 01:38:28,571
Your father-in-law and I worked for nearly
10 years, laying our lives on the line together.

1564
01:38:28,654 --> 01:38:31,323
- What does he do to me now?
- Barry, will you listen to me?

1565
01:38:31,407 --> 01:38:33,951
It was so simple.
We made a mistake in the counting ‒

1566
01:38:34,034 --> 01:38:36,620
He doesn't even invite me
to his own son's wedding.

1567
01:38:36,704 --> 01:38:38,706
In the counting of the invitations.

1568
01:38:40,082 --> 01:38:41,750
We got mixed up.

1569
01:38:41,834 --> 01:38:44,128
I remember Vince saying
he wanted to invite you.

1570
01:38:44,211 --> 01:38:45,754
You know how it is, Barry.

1571
01:38:45,838 --> 01:38:49,008
You got a family and all,
and uncles and aunts and cousins.

1572
01:38:49,091 --> 01:38:52,428
Get out of here. Can't you tell
when I'm ribbing you, Vince?

1573
01:38:52,511 --> 01:38:54,930
Here's a little something
from the boys at the agency.

1574
01:38:55,014 --> 01:38:56,932
- Fifty dollar savings bond.
- Oh!

1575
01:38:57,016 --> 01:39:02,146
- Isn't that nice!
- I'll just put it right here for safekeeping.

1576
01:39:02,229 --> 01:39:05,190
- Well, let's have a seat.
- Well, why don't we, uh ‒

1577
01:39:45,814 --> 01:39:49,735
Hey! Hey!
(shouting in Cantonese)