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00:01:49,252 --> 00:01:53,381
The peace of God, which passes all
understanding, keep your hearts and minds
2
00:01:53,464 --> 00:01:58,219
in the knowledge and love of God and
of His Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord,
3
00:01:58,303 --> 00:02:00,346
and the blessing of God Almighty.
4
00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:02,974
The Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit
5
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:09,897
be upon you and remain with you,
this day and always. Amen.
6
00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:13,985
Will that do the trick,
do you think?
7
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,279
We're about to find out.
8
00:02:22,452 --> 00:02:24,329
Jimmy!
9
00:02:29,042 --> 00:02:31,627
- Ready?
- Ready.
10
00:02:31,711 --> 00:02:33,671
Mum, please. Lads, wait.
11
00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:37,050
Just get in the car.
I'll be back in five minutes.
12
00:02:40,887 --> 00:02:42,180
Let's get it over with.
13
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,515
Fiona, Fiona!
14
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:48,603
Read out from the top.
Fiona, just read it out. Let's see.
15
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:52,774
Three A's! I got three A's!
Three A's!
16
00:02:52,857 --> 00:02:55,693
- Chris, what did you get, man?
- Full house!
17
00:02:57,153 --> 00:02:59,614
Three A's! Three A's!
18
00:03:03,368 --> 00:03:05,244
- Told you you would.
- Full house!
19
00:03:05,328 --> 00:03:07,747
- Hey, what did you get?
- Er, A and two B's.
20
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,003
- Hey, it's Dakin.
- Stuuuuhoooo...
21
00:03:14,087 --> 00:03:16,381
Stu, what happened?
22
00:03:18,925 --> 00:03:22,136
- Are you not gonna look?
- I got mine last night.
23
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,807
- I bet you did.
- You jammy sod.
24
00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:27,517
- Lockwood.
- Felix.
25
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,186
- Lockwood.
- Sir.
26
00:03:30,269 --> 00:03:32,563
Why are you dressed as a milkman?
27
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:36,818
- Working, sir. For the 'olidays.
- As a milkman?
28
00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:42,156
After the holidays you'll be coming
back to try for Oxford and Cambridge.
29
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,909
Your A-level results
are the best we've ever had,
30
00:03:44,993 --> 00:03:47,787
and they demand
that you return for an extra term
31
00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:51,416
to work for the examination
to our ancient universities.
32
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:54,210
One more term, boys. One more push.
33
00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:57,547
In the meantime,
try and do something... fitting.
34
00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,716
- I'm in a bookshop, sir.
- Good, good.
35
00:03:59,799 --> 00:04:01,843
- I'm on the bins.
- I'm a bouncer, sir.
36
00:04:01,926 --> 00:04:04,178
- Lavatory attendant, sir.
- Gigolo.
37
00:04:04,887 --> 00:04:08,933
- Congratulations, boys.
- Mrs. Lintott!
38
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:13,646
Three A's! Three A's!
39
00:04:18,151 --> 00:04:20,445
So, we shall be meeting again after all.
40
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:23,531
- Yes, sir.
- At school you don't get parole.
41
00:04:23,614 --> 00:04:26,451
Good behavior
just brings a longer sentence.
42
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:30,330
- Ah, you poor boys.
- See you next term, sir.
43
00:04:32,851 --> 00:04:33,851
Thank you, Miss.
44
00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:37,587
"The happiest youth,
viewing his progress through,
45
00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:41,132
What perils past,
what crosses to ensue,
46
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:45,219
Would shut the book
and sit him down and die."
47
00:04:46,471 --> 00:04:49,724
Congratulations, Dorothy.
You must be very pleased.
48
00:05:44,237 --> 00:05:45,279
Morning!
49
00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:53,830
You are entitled,
though only for five minutes, Dakin,
50
00:05:53,913 --> 00:05:55,707
to feel pleased with yourselves.
51
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:59,544
No one has done as well.
Not in English, not in science,
52
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:03,381
not even, dare I say it,
in media studies.
53
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,426
And you alone are up
for Oxford and Cambridge.
54
00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:11,764
So, to work. First essay this term will be
the Church on the eve of the Reformation.
55
00:06:11,848 --> 00:06:15,351
- Not again, Miss.
- This is Oxford and Cambridge.
56
00:06:15,435 --> 00:06:20,982
You don't just need to know it, you need to
know it backwards, Timms. Facts, facts, facts.
57
00:06:21,065 --> 00:06:24,485
They're clever, but they're crass.
58
00:06:25,403 --> 00:06:29,824
And were it Bristol or York,
I'd have no worries.
59
00:06:29,907 --> 00:06:32,744
But Oxford and Cambridge?
60
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:37,540
We need a strategy, Dorothy,
a game plan.
61
00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:41,919
- They know their stuff.
- But they lack flair.
62
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:45,673
Culture they can get from Hector.
63
00:06:45,757 --> 00:06:48,092
History from you, but...
64
00:06:48,176 --> 00:06:51,179
I'm thinking aloud now.
65
00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:53,890
Is there something else?
66
00:06:53,973 --> 00:06:57,435
Think charm, think polish.
67
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,563
Think... Renaissance man.
68
00:07:01,439 --> 00:07:03,691
Leave it with me, Dorothy,
leave it with me.
69
00:07:03,775 --> 00:07:05,860
Yes, Headmaster.
70
00:07:09,155 --> 00:07:10,615
Wilkes.
71
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:15,078
Ah, yes.
An innovation to the timetable.
72
00:07:15,161 --> 00:07:17,080
- PE.
- Yes, Headmaster.
73
00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:21,000
For the Oxbridge set.
"Surely not", you say. But why not?
74
00:07:21,084 --> 00:07:26,464
This is the biggest hurdle of their lives
and I want them... galvanized.
75
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,675
Galvanized. Yes, Headmaster.
76
00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:36,516
In the timetable,
our esteemed headmaster
77
00:07:36,599 --> 00:07:41,980
has given these periods
the dubious title of "general studies".
78
00:07:43,064 --> 00:07:46,275
I will let you into
a little secret, boys.
79
00:07:46,359 --> 00:07:50,530
There is no such thing
as general studies.
80
00:07:50,613 --> 00:07:53,950
General studies is a waste of time.
81
00:07:54,993 --> 00:08:00,039
Knowledge is not general,
it is specific.
82
00:08:00,123 --> 00:08:02,542
And nothing to do with getting on.
83
00:08:04,168 --> 00:08:09,132
But remember, open quotation marks,
"All knowledge is precious
84
00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:13,761
whether or not it serves the slightest
human use", close quotation marks.
85
00:08:13,845 --> 00:08:17,640
Who said, Akhtar? Timms?
86
00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:20,935
Lockwood, Dakin?
87
00:08:21,019 --> 00:08:23,396
"Loveliest of trees,
the cherry now..."
88
00:08:23,479 --> 00:08:26,566
- A Housman, sir.
- "AE Housman, sir."
89
00:08:26,649 --> 00:08:28,192
Wasn't he a nancy, sir?
90
00:08:28,276 --> 00:08:31,279
Foul, festering, grubby-minded
little trollop.
91
00:08:31,362 --> 00:08:33,531
- Do not use that word.
- But you use it, sir.
92
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,659
I do, sir, I know.
But I am far gone in age and decrepitude.
93
00:08:36,743 --> 00:08:40,371
Er, you're not supposed to hit us, sir.
We could report you.
94
00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:42,040
I know, I know.
95
00:08:42,123 --> 00:08:46,252
You should treat us with more respect.
We're scholarship candidates now, sir.
96
00:08:46,336 --> 00:08:50,923
- We're all going in for Oxford and Cambridge.
- Oxford and Cambridge! What for?
97
00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:53,217
Old, sir. Tried and tested.
98
00:08:53,301 --> 00:08:55,678
No! It's because other boys
want to go there.
99
00:08:55,762 --> 00:08:58,556
It's the hot ticket,
standing room only.
100
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,060
- Where did you go, sir?
- I went to Sheffield.
101
00:09:02,143 --> 00:09:03,936
- I was happy!
102
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:07,273
"Happy is England,
sweet her artless daughters;
103
00:09:08,274 --> 00:09:13,071
Enough her simple
loveliness for me." Keats.
104
00:09:13,154 --> 00:09:15,531
We won't be examined on that,
will we, sir?
105
00:09:15,615 --> 00:09:18,076
- Keats?
- Happiness.
106
00:09:23,665 --> 00:09:25,708
- You are?
- Irwin.
107
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:29,045
- Irwin?
- The temporary contract teacher.
108
00:09:29,128 --> 00:09:31,589
Quite so.
109
00:09:31,673 --> 00:09:33,925
The examinations are at the end of term,
110
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,928
which gives us, er...
three months, at the outside.
111
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:40,848
- You were at Cambridge. You know the form.
- Oxford. Jesus.
112
00:09:42,058 --> 00:09:44,894
You see... I-I thought of going.
113
00:09:44,978 --> 00:09:47,814
But this was the... the '50s.
114
00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:52,360
Change was in the air,
and a spirit of adventure.
115
00:09:53,236 --> 00:09:56,364
So, where did you go?
116
00:09:56,447 --> 00:09:59,534
I was a geographer. I went to Hull.
117
00:10:01,828 --> 00:10:04,914
They're a likely lot, the boys.
Erm, erm...
118
00:10:04,998 --> 00:10:08,876
All keen. One oddity - Rudge.
119
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:13,214
Determined to try for Oxford.
Christ Church, of all places.
120
00:10:13,298 --> 00:10:14,966
No hope. No.
121
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:18,011
Might get into Loughborough,
in a bad year.
122
00:10:18,094 --> 00:10:20,346
Er... otherwise, all bright.
123
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:22,557
But they need polish.
124
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,226
Edge. Your job.
125
00:10:26,561 --> 00:10:28,354
We're low in the league.
126
00:10:28,438 --> 00:10:34,360
I want to see us up there with Manchester
Grammar School, Haberdasher Askes,
127
00:10:34,444 --> 00:10:36,988
Leighton Park.
128
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:39,365
Or is that an open prison?
129
00:10:41,534 --> 00:10:44,412
No matter.
130
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,250
There is a vacancy, in history.
131
00:10:51,669 --> 00:10:53,588
That's very true.
132
00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:58,384
In the school.
133
00:10:58,468 --> 00:11:01,054
- Ah.
134
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,599
Get me scholarships, Irwin.
135
00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:07,143
Pull us up the table and it's yours.
136
00:11:07,226 --> 00:11:10,563
I-I'm corseted by the curriculum.
137
00:11:10,647 --> 00:11:13,858
But I can find you,
er... three lessons a week.
138
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:17,403
- Not enough.
- Yes, I agree. However...
139
00:11:17,487 --> 00:11:21,199
I think I know where
we can filch an hour.
140
00:11:52,814 --> 00:11:56,693
Where would you like to work
this afternoon?
141
00:11:56,776 --> 00:11:59,988
I would like to work
in a brothel.
142
00:12:00,071 --> 00:12:02,782
- Oh my!
- What is it?
143
00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:04,951
- A brothel.
- Ah!
144
00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:07,745
He'd like to work in a brothel.
145
00:12:07,829 --> 00:12:08,955
Very well.
146
00:12:09,038 --> 00:12:11,082
But a brothel
147
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:17,088
where all customers use
subjunctive or conditional.
148
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,381
Ok.
149
00:12:18,464 --> 00:12:21,092
- Okay, sir.
- That's it.
150
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,343
That's it.
151
00:12:22,427 --> 00:12:25,138
Already a customer.
152
00:12:26,514 --> 00:12:29,392
- Hello, sir.
- Hello, darling.
153
00:12:30,768 --> 00:12:35,440
Enter, if you please.
This is your bed.
154
00:12:39,027 --> 00:12:43,489
- And here's your prostitute.
- Oh my!
155
00:12:43,573 --> 00:12:45,867
I want to lie down on the bed
156
00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:49,370
"I would like
to stretch out on the bed,"
157
00:12:49,454 --> 00:12:51,706
in the conditional or the subjunctive.
158
00:12:51,789 --> 00:12:54,042
Go, my children.
159
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:57,086
But shoes, sir.
Not on the bed
160
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,839
Oh! Excuse me, miss,
excuse me.
161
00:13:03,009 --> 00:13:06,971
- And your trousers, please.
162
00:13:07,055 --> 00:13:08,890
- Come on! Sir...
- Sir! Sir!
163
00:13:12,644 --> 00:13:15,772
Oh! What beautiful legs!
164
00:13:15,855 --> 00:13:19,025
And now - Claudine.
165
00:13:19,108 --> 00:13:22,153
Yes. The prostitute, if you please.
166
00:13:27,283 --> 00:13:29,452
- At what price?
-Ten francs.
167
00:13:29,535 --> 00:13:35,875
Ten francs. For ten francs, I can
show you my prodigious chest.
168
00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:39,212
Ah, no, no, no...
169
00:13:42,632 --> 00:13:45,760
- Another client.
170
00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:49,097
Ah! Dear Mr. Director.
171
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:51,849
Mr. Hector, what on earth
is happening?
172
00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:56,521
English it is forbidden.
Here, we speak only french.
173
00:13:56,604 --> 00:14:01,526
With emphasis
particular to the subjunctive.
174
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,278
Oh... Erm...
175
00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:08,825
What is - this?
What has happened here?
176
00:14:08,908 --> 00:14:12,370
Why this boy ...
Er ... Dakin, is not it?
177
00:14:12,453 --> 00:14:15,748
.. .is without... er... trousers?
178
00:14:15,832 --> 00:14:19,460
Ah! Erm ... anyone?
179
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,965
Oh! Don't be shy.
180
00:14:24,048 --> 00:14:28,970
Tell Dear Director
What we are doing.
181
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:35,476
- I am a man who ...
- You're not a man!
182
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,105
You are a soldier.
A wounded soldier.
183
00:14:39,188 --> 00:14:41,399
You understand
Dear Mr Director?
184
00:14:41,482 --> 00:14:43,985
- Wounded soldier.
- Wounded soldier, of course.
185
00:14:44,068 --> 00:14:47,697
Here is a hospital in Belgium.
186
00:14:49,324 --> 00:14:52,035
Belgium? Why Belgium?
187
00:14:53,453 --> 00:14:55,038
- À Ypres.
- Ypres? (I don' know translation)
188
00:14:55,121 --> 00:14:56,914
- Ypres.
- Ypres?
189
00:14:56,998 --> 00:14:59,584
During the war world one
190
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,753
- Ypres.
- That's it!
191
00:15:01,836 --> 00:15:04,130
Dakin is a wounded soldier.
192
00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:06,549
A disabled veteran.
193
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:11,596
And the others are doctors,
nurses,
194
00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:16,476
and all the staff of a large
medical and therapeutic establishment.
195
00:15:16,559 --> 00:15:18,936
Go, my children.
196
00:15:23,191 --> 00:15:24,901
He calls his mother.
197
00:15:24,984 --> 00:15:26,903
My father! My father!
198
00:15:26,986 --> 00:15:28,988
He calls his father!
199
00:15:29,781 --> 00:15:32,784
He is distracted, distracted.
200
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:35,912
He is shocked, perhaps.
201
00:15:35,995 --> 00:15:38,665
pardon me?
202
00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:41,876
Shocked. Shell-shocked.
203
00:15:45,213 --> 00:15:48,716
It is possible. Shocked.
Yes, it is the right word.
204
00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:55,098
Allow me to introduce Mr Irwin,
our new teacher.
205
00:15:55,181 --> 00:15:58,893
- Nice to meet you.
- Enough of this silliness! No, not silliness!
206
00:15:58,977 --> 00:16:02,647
Mr. Hector, you are aware
these pupils are Oxbridge candidates?
207
00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:03,815
Nobody's told me.
208
00:16:03,898 --> 00:16:06,901
Mr. Irwin will be coaching them,
but it's a question of time.
209
00:16:06,985 --> 00:16:11,823
I've found him three lessons a week, but I was
wondering... Purely on a temporary basis.
210
00:16:11,906 --> 00:16:14,784
- The last time, I promise.
- Last time was the last time.
211
00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:19,330
- I'm thinking of the boys.
- I am, too. No, absolutely not. No. No, no, no.
212
00:16:19,414 --> 00:16:22,667
It is out of the question,
and now, if you'll excuse me,
213
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,670
I have to keep my lesson.
See you in 1 hour.
214
00:16:25,753 --> 00:16:28,381
Fuck.
215
00:16:36,556 --> 00:16:39,559
It's true, though, sir.
We don't have much time.
216
00:16:39,642 --> 00:16:41,894
We don't even have to do French.
217
00:16:42,145 --> 00:16:44,647
Now, who goes home?
218
00:16:48,192 --> 00:16:50,778
Well, surely I can
give somebody a lift.
219
00:16:50,862 --> 00:16:56,993
- Who's on pillion duty? Dakin?
- Not me, sir. I'm going into town.
220
00:16:57,076 --> 00:16:59,704
- Crowther?
- I'm off for a run, sir.
221
00:16:59,787 --> 00:17:01,748
- Akhtar?
- Er... computer club, sir.
222
00:17:01,831 --> 00:17:03,875
- Ah.
- I'll come, sir.
223
00:17:03,958 --> 00:17:05,251
Oh, no, never mind.
224
00:17:08,046 --> 00:17:10,048
I'll come, sir.
225
00:17:10,715 --> 00:17:12,800
Ah! Scripps.
226
00:17:14,302 --> 00:17:16,346
The things I do for Jesus.
227
00:17:17,305 --> 00:17:20,391
- It's never me.
- You're too young still.
228
00:17:20,475 --> 00:17:24,437
It will happen.
Now that you've achieved puberty.
229
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,481
If rather late in the day.
230
00:17:26,564 --> 00:17:30,485
Mr. Hector is likely, at some point,
to try and put his hand on your knee.
231
00:17:30,568 --> 00:17:34,364
This is because Mr. Hector
is a homosexual and a sad fuck.
232
00:17:34,447 --> 00:17:39,494
The drill is to look at the hand and go,
"And what does Mr. Hector want?"
233
00:17:39,577 --> 00:17:43,247
Well, he has no answer for this
and so will desist.
234
00:18:01,599 --> 00:18:03,226
Thrutch up.
235
00:18:42,223 --> 00:18:45,852
- I just think I should have been told.
- He comes highly recommended.
236
00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:48,896
- So did Anne of Cleves.
- Who?
237
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:51,524
He's up to the minute, Dorothy,
more "now".
238
00:18:51,607 --> 00:18:53,818
Now? I thought history was "then".
239
00:18:55,695 --> 00:18:57,572
Felix.
240
00:18:59,282 --> 00:19:01,367
Anne of Cleves. Remind me.
241
00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:04,996
- Fourth wife of Henry VIII, sir.
- Of course.
242
00:19:05,079 --> 00:19:07,290
She was the one they told him
was Miss Dish,
243
00:19:07,373 --> 00:19:12,295
only, when she turned up, she had a face
like the wrong end of a camel's turd.
244
00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:15,089
Quite so.
245
00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:23,556
- What's the matter with you, lad?
- Oh, I've got a note, sir.
246
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,727
How much for?
I don't do notes. Get changed.
247
00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:30,855
- Sir...
- God doesn't do notes either.
248
00:19:30,938 --> 00:19:34,984
Did Jesus say, "Can I be
excused the Crucifixion?" No.
249
00:19:35,068 --> 00:19:37,737
Actually, sir, I think he did.
250
00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:42,033
Change! One day
it will save your life.
251
00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:46,245
Nothing saves anyone's life, sir.
It just postpones their death.
252
00:19:46,329 --> 00:19:48,748
Jesus Christ
will save your life, lad,
253
00:19:48,831 --> 00:19:51,292
if you only let him into your heart!
254
00:19:51,376 --> 00:19:53,461
I'm Jewish, sir.
255
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:57,465
I'm Muslim, sir.
256
00:20:03,346 --> 00:20:05,098
- Very good.
257
00:20:08,768 --> 00:20:11,062
Most excellent.
258
00:20:12,188 --> 00:20:14,190
Ooooh!
259
00:20:14,273 --> 00:20:16,359
Go on!
260
00:20:16,442 --> 00:20:18,277
Lad, lad, lad!
261
00:20:18,361 --> 00:20:22,115
You're letting yourself down,
you're letting God down.
262
00:20:22,198 --> 00:20:26,369
- What's God got to do with it?
- Listen, boy, this isn't your body.
263
00:20:26,452 --> 00:20:27,745
- No?
- No!
264
00:20:27,829 --> 00:20:30,248
This body is on loan to you from God.
265
00:20:31,124 --> 00:20:34,585
- Fuck me.
- I heard that! Give me 20.
266
00:20:34,669 --> 00:20:37,213
20 what? Hail Marys?
267
00:20:37,297 --> 00:20:39,674
Do it.
268
00:20:44,512 --> 00:20:48,224
- You're late. Get your kit off.
- I'm on the staff.
269
00:20:48,308 --> 00:20:51,436
Well, I've never seen you.
270
00:20:51,519 --> 00:20:53,855
What's this?
271
00:20:55,523 --> 00:20:58,776
- Do you need a hand with that, sir?
- Is it joined-up writing?
272
00:20:59,652 --> 00:21:02,655
Mrs. Lintott's given me a view
of some of your latest essays.
273
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:08,286
The experience was interesting.
The essays not. Dull.
274
00:21:08,369 --> 00:21:11,622
Dull. Abysmally dull.
275
00:21:11,706 --> 00:21:14,834
A triumph. The dullest of the lot.
276
00:21:15,627 --> 00:21:19,005
- I got all the points.
- I didn't say it was wrong. I said "dull".
277
00:21:19,088 --> 00:21:22,800
- Its sheer competence was staggering.
- You've got crap handwriting.
278
00:21:22,884 --> 00:21:25,887
It's your eyesight that's bad
and we know what causes that.
279
00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:29,641
Sir! Is that a coded reference
to the mythical dangers of self-abuse?
280
00:21:29,724 --> 00:21:32,268
- It might even be a joke!
- A joke, sir?
281
00:21:32,352 --> 00:21:36,648
Oh. Are jokes gonna be a feature?
We need to know as it affects our mindset.
282
00:21:36,731 --> 00:21:40,193
You don't object to our using
the expression "mindset", do you, sir?
283
00:21:40,276 --> 00:21:42,862
Mr. Hector doesn't care for it.
284
00:21:46,407 --> 00:21:52,455
At the... er... at the time of the Reformation,
there were 14 foreskins of Christ preserved,
285
00:21:52,538 --> 00:21:56,626
but it was thought the Church of St. John
Lateran in Rome had the authentic prepuce.
286
00:21:56,709 --> 00:22:00,713
Don't think we're shocked by your
mention of the word "foreskin", sir.
287
00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:02,924
No, sir. Some of us even have them.
288
00:22:03,007 --> 00:22:08,096
Not Posner, though, cos he's, well... Jewish.
It's one of several things he doesn't have.
289
00:22:08,179 --> 00:22:11,349
- Fuck off.
- That's not racist, though, sir.
290
00:22:11,432 --> 00:22:14,978
- Isn't it?
- It's race-related. But not racist.
291
00:22:15,061 --> 00:22:18,564
Has anybody been to Rome or Venice?
292
00:22:19,565 --> 00:22:21,693
Florence? No.
293
00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:26,280
The other candidates will have been and
have done courses on what they've seen.
294
00:22:26,364 --> 00:22:30,868
So they'll know, when they do an essay on
the Church at the time of the Reformation,
295
00:22:30,952 --> 00:22:35,289
that, oh, look, some silly nonsense on the
foreskins of Christ will come in handy,
296
00:22:35,373 --> 00:22:38,793
so that their essays,
unlike yours, will not be dull.
297
00:22:38,876 --> 00:22:43,381
They're not even bad, they're just boring.
You haven't got a hope.
298
00:22:43,464 --> 00:22:46,801
- So, why are we bothering?
- I don't know. You tell me.
299
00:22:46,884 --> 00:22:53,808
You want it. Your parents want it.
The headmaster, he certainly wants it.
300
00:22:53,891 --> 00:22:58,062
Me? I wouldn't waste the money.
I'd go to Newcastle and be happy.
301
00:23:01,774 --> 00:23:05,570
- Of course, there is another way.
- Oh! How?
302
00:23:05,653 --> 00:23:09,699
- Cheat!
- Possibly.
303
00:23:11,159 --> 00:23:13,786
- Dakin.
- Sir?
304
00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:16,289
Don't take the piss.
There isn't time.
305
00:23:16,372 --> 00:23:20,084
- What a wanker.
- They all have to do it, don't they?
306
00:23:20,168 --> 00:23:22,754
- Do what?
- Show you they're still in the game.
307
00:23:22,837 --> 00:23:25,256
Foreskins and stuff.
"Oh, sir, you devil."
308
00:23:25,340 --> 00:23:30,011
Have a heart.
He's only five minutes older than we are.
309
00:23:32,639 --> 00:23:36,684
What happened with Hector,
on the bike?
310
00:23:36,768 --> 00:23:39,812
As per.
Except I managed to get my bag down.
311
00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:42,106
I think he thought he'd got me going,
312
00:23:42,190 --> 00:23:45,443
but, in fact, it was my
Tudor Economic Documents, Volume Two.
313
00:24:17,433 --> 00:24:20,853
So, let's summarize. The First World War,
what points do we make?
314
00:24:20,937 --> 00:24:23,272
- Trench warfare.
- Mountains of dead.
315
00:24:23,356 --> 00:24:25,191
- On both sides.
- Generals stupid.
316
00:24:25,274 --> 00:24:27,902
- On both sides.
- Armistice. Germany humiliated.
317
00:24:27,986 --> 00:24:30,488
- Keep it coming.
- Mass unemployment. Inflation.
318
00:24:30,571 --> 00:24:34,242
Collapse of the Weimar Republic,
internal disorder, the rise of Hitler.
319
00:24:34,325 --> 00:24:37,328
So our conclusion is
that the origins of the second war
320
00:24:37,412 --> 00:24:40,456
lie in the unsatisfactory
outcome of the first.
321
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:44,502
- Yes. Yes.
- First class.
322
00:24:44,585 --> 00:24:47,338
Bristol welcomes you with open arms.
323
00:24:47,422 --> 00:24:50,341
Manchester longs to have you.
You can walk into Leeds!
324
00:24:50,425 --> 00:24:52,510
But I'm the fellow of Magdalene College,
325
00:24:52,593 --> 00:24:55,555
I've just read 70 papers saying the same,
and I'm asleep.
326
00:24:55,638 --> 00:24:58,975
- But it's all true.
- What's truth got to do with it?
327
00:25:00,643 --> 00:25:02,729
What's truth got to do with anything?
328
00:25:03,688 --> 00:25:08,776
- The new man seems clever.
- He does. Depressingly so.
329
00:25:09,986 --> 00:25:13,406
- Didn't you try for Oxford?
- Cambridge.
330
00:25:15,658 --> 00:25:18,786
Cloisters. Ancient libraries.
331
00:25:18,870 --> 00:25:22,373
I was confusing learning
with the smell of cold stone.
332
00:25:22,457 --> 00:25:25,710
If I had gone I'd probably never
have worked out the difference.
333
00:25:25,793 --> 00:25:31,299
Durham was very good for history.
It's where I had my first pizza.
334
00:25:31,382 --> 00:25:35,678
Other things too, of course,
but it's the pizza that stands out.
335
00:25:38,264 --> 00:25:42,185
Er, Dakin's a good-looking boy,
though somehow sad.
336
00:25:42,268 --> 00:25:46,522
You always think they're sad, Hector.
Every, every time.
337
00:25:46,606 --> 00:25:50,777
Actually, I wouldn't have said he was sad,
I would have said he was cunt-struck.
338
00:25:50,860 --> 00:25:52,403
Dorothy.
339
00:25:52,487 --> 00:25:56,032
I'd have thought you'd have liked that.
It's a compound adjective.
340
00:25:56,115 --> 00:25:58,785
- You like compound adjectives.
- Yeah.
341
00:26:00,411 --> 00:26:04,248
- Oh. Going walkabout.
- Oh, yeah.
342
00:26:05,416 --> 00:26:09,170
The truth was, in 1914,
Germany doesn't want war.
343
00:26:09,253 --> 00:26:12,507
Yeah, there's an arms race,
but it's Britain who's leading it.
344
00:26:12,590 --> 00:26:15,468
So, why does no one admit this?
345
00:26:16,803 --> 00:26:19,305
That's why. The dead.
346
00:26:20,348 --> 00:26:22,433
The body count.
347
00:26:22,517 --> 00:26:27,146
We don't like to admit the war was even partly
our fault cos so many of our people died.
348
00:26:27,230 --> 00:26:32,902
And all the mourning's veiled the truth. It's
not "lest we forget", it's "lest we remember".
349
00:26:32,986 --> 00:26:39,742
That's what all this is about - the memorials,
the Cenotaph, the two minutes' silence.
350
00:26:39,826 --> 00:26:44,455
Because there is no better way of forgetting
something than by commemorating it.
351
00:26:44,539 --> 00:26:47,166
As for the truth, Scripps, forget it.
352
00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:50,295
In an examination, truth's not an issue.
353
00:26:50,378 --> 00:26:53,715
You really believe this, sir?
Or are you just trying to make us think?
354
00:26:53,798 --> 00:26:56,551
Can't explain away the poetry, sir.
355
00:26:56,634 --> 00:26:59,345
- Art wins in the end.
- What about this one, sir?
356
00:26:59,429 --> 00:27:02,682
"Those long, uneven lines
Standing as patiently
357
00:27:02,765 --> 00:27:05,601
As if they were stretched outside
The Oval or Villa Park,
358
00:27:05,685 --> 00:27:11,274
The crowns of hats, the sun
On mustached archaic faces
359
00:27:11,357 --> 00:27:14,152
Grinning as if it were all
An August Bank Holiday lark."
360
00:27:14,235 --> 00:27:16,612
"Never such innocence,
Never before or since,
361
00:27:16,696 --> 00:27:19,240
As changed itself to past
Without a word."
362
00:27:19,324 --> 00:27:21,492
"The men leaving the gardens tidy."
363
00:27:21,576 --> 00:27:24,746
"The thousands of marriages
Lasting a little while longer."
364
00:27:24,829 --> 00:27:26,914
"Never such innocence again."
365
00:27:26,998 --> 00:27:29,167
How come you know all this by heart?
366
00:27:32,003 --> 00:27:34,756
Not that it answers the question.
367
00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:38,343
So much for our "glorious dead".
368
00:27:38,426 --> 00:27:39,844
Quite.
369
00:27:41,429 --> 00:27:43,890
Actually, Fiona's my Western front.
370
00:27:43,973 --> 00:27:46,059
Well, last night, for instance.
371
00:27:46,142 --> 00:27:48,686
I thought it might be the big push.
372
00:27:48,770 --> 00:27:51,022
So, encountering only token resistance,
373
00:27:51,105 --> 00:27:53,941
I reconnoitered the ground
as far as the actual place.
374
00:27:54,025 --> 00:27:56,277
- Shit!
- No, I mean not onto it.
375
00:27:56,361 --> 00:28:01,157
- Certainly not into it. Up to it.
- Fuck.
376
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,202
And the metaphor really fits.
377
00:28:04,285 --> 00:28:06,621
I mean, moving up to the front,
378
00:28:06,704 --> 00:28:11,459
troops presumably had to pass
the sites of previous battles.
379
00:28:11,542 --> 00:28:13,962
Well, so it is with me.
380
00:28:14,045 --> 00:28:19,968
Like particularly her tits, which only
surrendered about three weeks ago.
381
00:28:20,051 --> 00:28:25,848
And which were indeed the start line
of a determined thrust southwards.
382
00:28:27,850 --> 00:28:30,353
What's the matter?
383
00:28:31,354 --> 00:28:34,899
- No-man's-land.
- Ah, fuck.
384
00:28:34,983 --> 00:28:37,819
So, what do I do with this?
385
00:28:38,861 --> 00:28:41,197
Carry out a controlled explosion?
386
00:28:43,700 --> 00:28:46,494
Still, at least I'm
doing better than Felix.
387
00:28:46,577 --> 00:28:48,371
- Felix?
- No!
388
00:28:48,454 --> 00:28:51,124
Tries to. Chases her around the desk.
389
00:28:51,207 --> 00:28:53,751
No!
390
00:28:53,835 --> 00:28:55,878
Actually, the metaphor isn't exact
391
00:28:55,962 --> 00:29:00,591
because what Fiona is presumably
carrying out is a planned withdrawal.
392
00:29:00,675 --> 00:29:05,555
You're not forcing her, she's not
being overwhelmed by superior forces.
393
00:29:05,638 --> 00:29:08,016
- Does she like you?
- Course she likes me.
394
00:29:08,099 --> 00:29:12,687
Then you're not disputing the territory, just
negotiating over the pace of the occupation.
395
00:29:12,770 --> 00:29:15,231
Just let us know
when you get to Berlin.
396
00:29:15,315 --> 00:29:17,900
I'm beginning to like him more.
397
00:29:17,984 --> 00:29:23,406
- Who, me?
- Irwin. Though he hates me.
398
00:29:24,824 --> 00:29:26,534
Jimmy!
399
00:29:27,910 --> 00:29:30,496
Cheer up. At least he speaks to you.
400
00:29:31,497 --> 00:29:34,626
Most guys wouldn't even speak to you.
401
00:29:34,709 --> 00:29:39,422
- Love can be very irritating.
- How do you know?
402
00:29:39,505 --> 00:29:41,799
That's what I always think about God.
403
00:29:41,883 --> 00:29:45,011
He must get so pissed off,
everyone adoring him all the time.
404
00:29:45,094 --> 00:29:48,848
Yes. Only you don't catch God
poncing about in his underpants.
405
00:31:27,697 --> 00:31:30,074
Well done, Posner.
406
00:31:30,158 --> 00:31:34,370
And now for some poetry
of a more traditional sort.
407
00:31:34,454 --> 00:31:36,414
Oh, God!
408
00:31:37,624 --> 00:31:39,834
Er, Timms, w-w-what is this?
409
00:31:39,917 --> 00:31:42,754
Sir, I don't always
understand poetry.
410
00:31:42,837 --> 00:31:48,426
You don't always understand it?
Timms, I never understand it.
411
00:31:48,509 --> 00:31:53,681
But learn it now, know it now,
and you will understand it, whenever.
412
00:31:53,765 --> 00:31:55,767
I don't see how we can understand it.
413
00:31:55,850 --> 00:31:58,645
Most of what poetry's about
hasn't happened to us yet.
414
00:31:58,728 --> 00:32:00,980
But it will, Timms, it will.
415
00:32:01,064 --> 00:32:03,608
And when it does,
you'll have the antidote ready.
416
00:32:03,691 --> 00:32:08,154
Grief, happiness,
even when you're dying.
417
00:32:08,237 --> 00:32:10,740
We're making your deathbeds
here, boys.
418
00:32:12,241 --> 00:32:13,868
Er, we've got an ending, sir.
419
00:32:13,951 --> 00:32:17,956
Oh! Goody! Yes, well...
Be sharp. Where's the kitty?
420
00:32:21,501 --> 00:32:23,378
And we have to smoke, sir.
421
00:32:23,461 --> 00:32:25,713
And I happen to have some, sir.
422
00:32:25,797 --> 00:32:28,841
- Very well.
423
00:32:32,929 --> 00:32:35,598
Jerry, please help me.
424
00:32:35,682 --> 00:32:37,767
Shall we just
have a cigarette on it?
425
00:32:37,850 --> 00:32:40,144
Yes!
426
00:32:54,158 --> 00:32:56,244
May I sometimes come here?
427
00:32:56,327 --> 00:33:00,331
Whenever you like. It's your home too.
There are people here who love you.
428
00:33:00,415 --> 00:33:02,125
And will you be happy, Charlotte?
429
00:33:02,208 --> 00:33:08,214
Oh, Jerry! Don't let's ask
for the moon. We have the stars!
430
00:33:17,974 --> 00:33:19,183
Lovely.
431
00:33:19,267 --> 00:33:22,061
Hm!
432
00:33:22,145 --> 00:33:26,274
Could it be Paul Henreid
and Bette Davis in Now, Voyager?.
433
00:33:27,817 --> 00:33:30,361
It is famous,
you ignorant little tarts.
434
00:33:30,445 --> 00:33:34,907
- But we never heard of it, sir.
- Oh! Walt Whitman, "Leaves of Grass".
435
00:33:34,991 --> 00:33:39,078
"The untold want,
by life and land ne'er granted,
436
00:33:39,162 --> 00:33:45,126
Now, Voyager, sail thou forth,
to seek and find."
437
00:33:45,209 --> 00:33:47,545
50p, please.
438
00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:51,215
Ah, Rudge.
439
00:33:53,343 --> 00:33:55,428
There's nothing on
the Carry On films.
440
00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:59,182
- Why? Should there be?
- The exam.
441
00:33:59,682 --> 00:34:02,769
Mr. Irwin said the Carry Ons
would be good films to talk about.
442
00:34:02,852 --> 00:34:06,189
How peculiar.
Does he like them, do you think?
443
00:34:06,272 --> 00:34:10,568
Probably not.
You never know with him.
444
00:34:10,652 --> 00:34:13,905
I'm now wondering if there's
something there that I've missed.
445
00:34:14,864 --> 00:34:20,328
Well, Mr. Irwin says that, "Whilst they
have no intrinsic artistic merit..."
446
00:34:20,411 --> 00:34:23,122
Ahem!
447
00:34:23,206 --> 00:34:27,126
"...they achieve some of the
permanence of art simply by persisting
448
00:34:27,210 --> 00:34:30,755
and acquire incremental significance
if only as social history."
449
00:34:30,838 --> 00:34:34,550
Dear me.
What fun you must all have.
450
00:34:34,634 --> 00:34:40,431
Well, it's not like your stuff, Miss.
It's cutting edge, it really is.
451
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,365
- Where do you live, sir?
- Horsforth.
452
00:34:57,448 --> 00:35:00,660
Not far from Mr. Hector, sir.
He might even give you a lift.
453
00:35:00,743 --> 00:35:02,203
It's not a loft, is it, sir?
454
00:35:02,287 --> 00:35:04,706
Do you exist
on an unhealthy diet of takeaways
455
00:35:04,789 --> 00:35:06,874
or do you whisk up gourmet meals for one?
456
00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:09,877
- Or is it a lonely pizza, sir?
- I manage!
457
00:35:09,961 --> 00:35:11,963
No questions from you, Dakin?
458
00:35:12,046 --> 00:35:14,590
What they want to know, sir,
is do you have a life?
459
00:35:14,674 --> 00:35:16,759
Or are we it? Are we your life?
460
00:35:16,843 --> 00:35:20,972
It's pretty dismal if you are,
cos these are as dreary as ever.
461
00:35:21,055 --> 00:35:24,851
You get a question, you know the answer.
But then, so does everybody else.
462
00:35:24,934 --> 00:35:28,855
So, say something different,
say the opposite.
463
00:35:28,938 --> 00:35:31,107
OK, look, er... take Stalin.
464
00:35:31,190 --> 00:35:35,361
He's generally agreed
to be a monster, and rightly so.
465
00:35:35,445 --> 00:35:39,949
Dissent. Find something, anything,
and say it in his defense.
466
00:35:41,617 --> 00:35:45,288
A question is about what you know,
it's not about what you don't know.
467
00:35:45,371 --> 00:35:49,751
A question about Rembrandt, for instance,
might prompt an answer on Degas.
468
00:35:49,834 --> 00:35:53,296
- Is Degas an old master?
- "About suffering they were never wrong,
469
00:35:53,379 --> 00:35:57,675
The Old Masters; How it takes place while
someone's eating or opening a window."
470
00:35:57,759 --> 00:36:00,219
- Have you done that with Mr. Hector?
- Done what?
471
00:36:00,303 --> 00:36:02,972
The poem. You're quoting somebody.
Auden, isn't it?
472
00:36:03,056 --> 00:36:07,268
Was it, sir? Sometimes it just
flows out, you know, brims over.
473
00:36:07,352 --> 00:36:10,521
Does he have a program
or is it just at random?
474
00:36:10,605 --> 00:36:13,066
- Knowledge.
- The pursuit of it for its own sake.
475
00:36:13,149 --> 00:36:15,652
Breaking bread with the dead,
that's what we do.
476
00:36:15,735 --> 00:36:20,406
- It's higher than your stuff, sir, it's nobler.
- Only not useful. Mr. Hector's not as focused.
477
00:36:20,490 --> 00:36:23,117
Not focused at all.
He's blurred, sir.
478
00:36:23,201 --> 00:36:24,869
We know what we're doing with you.
479
00:36:24,953 --> 00:36:27,622
Half the time with him,
we don't know what we're doing.
480
00:36:27,705 --> 00:36:30,249
We're poor little sheep
that have lost our way.
481
00:36:30,333 --> 00:36:32,752
- Where are we? Where are we, sir?
- Sit down.
482
00:36:32,835 --> 00:36:36,923
You're very young, sir.
This isn't your gap year, is it, sir?
483
00:36:37,006 --> 00:36:38,967
I wish it was.
484
00:36:39,050 --> 00:36:41,594
Why, sir?
Do you not like teaching us?
485
00:36:41,678 --> 00:36:45,640
We're not just a hiccup between the end
of university and the beginning of life,
486
00:36:45,723 --> 00:36:47,308
like Auden, are we, sir?
487
00:36:47,392 --> 00:36:51,771
- Do you like Auden's poetry, sir?
- Some, yeah.
488
00:36:51,854 --> 00:36:55,650
Mr. Hector does. We know about Auden.
489
00:36:55,733 --> 00:36:57,026
Oh, yes, we do.
490
00:36:57,110 --> 00:36:59,862
- He was a schoolmaster for a bit.
- I believe he was.
491
00:36:59,946 --> 00:37:05,410
Yeah, he was. Do you think he was
more like you or more like Mr. Hector?
492
00:37:05,493 --> 00:37:08,037
I have no idea.
Why should he be like either of us?
493
00:37:08,121 --> 00:37:10,748
Oh, I think he was
more like Mr. Hector.
494
00:37:10,832 --> 00:37:14,460
Bit of a shambles.
He snogged his pupils.
495
00:37:15,545 --> 00:37:18,006
Auden, sir, not Mr. Hector.
496
00:37:18,089 --> 00:37:20,758
So, you could answer
a question on Auden, then?
497
00:37:20,842 --> 00:37:25,388
No, sir! Mr. Hector's stuff's
not meant for the exam!
498
00:37:25,471 --> 00:37:28,016
It's to make us
more rounded human beings.
499
00:37:28,099 --> 00:37:33,104
Listen! This examination's gonna be about
everything and anything you know and are,
500
00:37:33,187 --> 00:37:37,233
and if there's a question on Auden or
whoever and you know about it, answer it.
501
00:37:37,317 --> 00:37:39,527
That would be a betrayal of trust.
502
00:37:39,610 --> 00:37:42,196
Yeah! Is nothing sacred, sir?
We're shocked.
503
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,283
I would, sir, and they would.
They're taking the piss.
504
00:37:45,366 --> 00:37:47,327
"England, you've been here too long,
505
00:37:47,410 --> 00:37:49,537
And the songs you sing
are the songs you sung
506
00:37:49,621 --> 00:37:52,832
On a braver day, now they are wrong."
507
00:37:52,915 --> 00:37:55,084
- Who's that?
- Oh! Mr. Irwin!
508
00:37:55,168 --> 00:37:58,588
Sir! It's Stevie Smith of
"Not Waving But Drowning" fame.
509
00:37:58,671 --> 00:38:00,757
Don't tell me that's useless knowledge.
510
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,760
If you get an essay on
post-imperial decline,
511
00:38:03,843 --> 00:38:07,263
you're losing an empire, finding a role,
all that kind of stuff.
512
00:38:07,347 --> 00:38:10,475
A gobbet like that,
it's the perfect way to end it.
513
00:38:10,558 --> 00:38:12,226
A what, sir?
514
00:38:13,436 --> 00:38:17,273
A gobbet. A quotation.
515
00:38:17,357 --> 00:38:19,442
How much more have you up your sleeves?
516
00:38:19,525 --> 00:38:22,820
We've got all sorts.
Hey! The train, the train!
517
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:32,413
I really meant to do it.
I stood there trembling right on the edge.
518
00:38:32,497 --> 00:38:35,458
But I couldn't.
I wasn't brave enough.
519
00:38:36,668 --> 00:38:40,755
I should like to able to say the thought
of you and the children prevented me.
520
00:38:40,838 --> 00:38:44,092
But it wasn't. I had no thoughts at all.
521
00:38:44,175 --> 00:38:47,428
Only an overwhelming desire
not to feel anything at all ever again.
522
00:38:47,512 --> 00:38:49,597
Not to be unhappy any more.
523
00:38:50,974 --> 00:38:55,353
I went back into the refreshment room.
That's when I nearly fainted.
524
00:38:55,436 --> 00:38:57,021
- What is all this?
- Shh!
525
00:39:00,566 --> 00:39:04,112
- Laura.
- Yes, dear?
526
00:39:05,905 --> 00:39:09,993
Whatever your dream was,
it wasn't a very happy one, was it?
527
00:39:12,370 --> 00:39:15,039
No.
528
00:39:15,123 --> 00:39:18,334
Is there anything I can do to help?
529
00:39:18,418 --> 00:39:20,503
Fred, you always help.
530
00:39:22,672 --> 00:39:26,134
You've been a long way away.
531
00:39:26,217 --> 00:39:30,221
Thank you for coming back to me.
532
00:39:38,146 --> 00:39:41,399
God knows why you've
learned Brief Encounter.
533
00:39:42,608 --> 00:39:46,029
I think you ought to know this lesson's
been a complete waste of time.
534
00:39:46,112 --> 00:39:50,116
A bit like Mr. Hector's lessons then, sir.
They're a complete waste of time too.
535
00:39:50,199 --> 00:39:53,536
Smart arse. But he's not
trying to get you through an exam.
536
00:39:53,620 --> 00:39:55,163
Ooooh!
537
00:39:56,623 --> 00:39:59,500
- French Kiss?
- I beg your pardon?
538
00:39:59,584 --> 00:40:03,171
- Newmarket, three o'clock.
539
00:40:05,423 --> 00:40:07,967
- Dorothy.
- Thank you, Stanley.
540
00:40:11,012 --> 00:40:13,097
So, how are you finding them?
541
00:40:13,181 --> 00:40:17,101
You've taught them too well.
They can't see it's a game.
542
00:40:17,185 --> 00:40:20,229
- History? Is it a game?
- For an exam like this, yeah.
543
00:40:20,313 --> 00:40:23,608
- Dorothy.
- Ah, fuck.
544
00:40:28,029 --> 00:40:29,822
- Dorothy.
- Headmaster.
545
00:40:30,657 --> 00:40:33,326
- I call him the awful warning.
- Who? Felix?
546
00:40:33,409 --> 00:40:37,080
If you don't watch out,
he's what you turn into.
547
00:40:37,163 --> 00:40:41,334
If this was a 1940s film, he'd be
played by Raymond Huntley.
548
00:40:41,417 --> 00:40:42,961
Who?
549
00:40:43,044 --> 00:40:47,256
He made a speciality of sour-faced judges
and vinegary schoolmasters.
550
00:40:47,340 --> 00:40:50,551
- Who would I be played by?
- Dirk Bogarde.
551
00:40:50,635 --> 00:40:52,762
I'm not sure I like that.
552
00:40:52,845 --> 00:40:54,597
- Dorothy.
- Watch out.
553
00:40:54,681 --> 00:40:56,516
Ah, Hector! The very man.
554
00:40:56,599 --> 00:40:58,518
- Chin up, Rudge.
- Hello!
555
00:40:58,601 --> 00:40:59,686
Mrs. Lintott.
556
00:40:59,769 --> 00:41:03,356
Our lord and master having grudgingly
conceded that art may have its uses,
557
00:41:03,439 --> 00:41:07,527
I gather I'm supposed to give your
Oxbridge boys a smattering of art history.
558
00:41:07,610 --> 00:41:09,570
Not my bag, Hazel. Irwin's your man.
559
00:41:09,654 --> 00:41:15,201
- It's really just the icing on the cake.
- Is art ever anything else?
560
00:41:23,459 --> 00:41:25,003
Michelangelo.
561
00:41:26,296 --> 00:41:29,716
Well... I suppose.
562
00:41:33,011 --> 00:41:34,470
Who've you got?
563
00:41:38,516 --> 00:41:41,060
- Both nancies.
- Are they?
564
00:41:41,144 --> 00:41:44,981
These aren't women.
They're just men with tits.
565
00:41:45,064 --> 00:41:47,859
And the tits look put on
with an ice-cream scoop.
566
00:41:49,152 --> 00:41:52,905
- Do you like Turner, then?
- He's all right.
567
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:58,244
Well, choose someone you do like.
Art's meant to be enjoyed.
568
00:41:59,329 --> 00:42:03,499
In the long term, maybe,
but with us, enjoyment don't come into it.
569
00:42:03,583 --> 00:42:07,170
We haven't time to read the books.
We haven't time to look at the pictures.
570
00:42:07,253 --> 00:42:12,925
We really need lessons in acting. That's what
this whole scholarship thing is: An acting job.
571
00:42:14,802 --> 00:42:17,764
So, have the boys
given you a nickname?
572
00:42:17,847 --> 00:42:21,309
- Not that I'm aware of.
- A nickname is an achievement.
573
00:42:21,392 --> 00:42:25,897
Both in the sense of something won
and also in its armorial sense.
574
00:42:25,980 --> 00:42:28,274
Of a badge, a blazon.
575
00:42:28,358 --> 00:42:33,946
Unsurprisingly,
I am Tott. Or Tottie.
576
00:42:34,030 --> 00:42:36,115
Some irony there, one feels.
577
00:42:37,617 --> 00:42:40,954
- Hector has no nickname.
- Yes, he has. Hector.
578
00:42:41,037 --> 00:42:43,915
- But he's called Hector.
- That's his nickname too.
579
00:42:43,998 --> 00:42:46,292
He isn't called Hector.
His name's Douglas.
580
00:42:46,376 --> 00:42:49,796
Though the only person
I've ever heard address him as such
581
00:42:49,879 --> 00:42:52,173
is his somewhat unexpected wife.
582
00:42:57,971 --> 00:43:01,683
Posner came to see me yesterday.
He has a problem.
583
00:43:01,766 --> 00:43:06,354
No nickname, but at least
you get their problems. I seldom do.
584
00:43:06,437 --> 00:43:10,108
Sir, I think I may be homosexual.
585
00:43:14,821 --> 00:43:18,449
- I love Dakin.
- Does Dakin know?
586
00:43:18,533 --> 00:43:21,494
Yes. He doesn't
think it's surprising.
587
00:43:22,578 --> 00:43:25,331
Though Dakin likes girls, basically.
588
00:43:25,415 --> 00:43:31,212
I sympathized, though not so much
as to suggest I might be in the same boat.
589
00:43:32,839 --> 00:43:36,884
- With Dakin?
- With anybody.
590
00:43:37,510 --> 00:43:39,762
That's sensible.
591
00:43:39,846 --> 00:43:44,559
One of the hardest things for boys to learn
is that a teacher is human.
592
00:43:44,642 --> 00:43:49,147
One of the hardest things for a teacher
to learn is not to try and tell them.
593
00:43:49,230 --> 00:43:52,608
- Is it a phase, sir?
- Do you think it's a phase?
594
00:43:53,985 --> 00:43:56,195
Some of the literature
says it will pass.
595
00:43:56,279 --> 00:43:59,198
I'm not sure I want it to pass.
596
00:44:00,325 --> 00:44:04,162
But I want to get into Oxford.
If I do, Dakin might love me.
597
00:44:06,414 --> 00:44:08,708
Or I might stop caring.
598
00:44:11,336 --> 00:44:17,425
- Do you look at your life, sir?
- I thought everybody did.
599
00:44:19,135 --> 00:44:22,680
I'm a Jew, I'm small,
600
00:44:23,848 --> 00:44:28,311
I'm homosexual,
and I live in Sheffield.
601
00:44:30,563 --> 00:44:32,148
I'm fucked.
602
00:44:35,401 --> 00:44:38,821
So, all this religion.
What do you do?
603
00:44:38,905 --> 00:44:41,783
Go to church. Pray.
604
00:44:41,866 --> 00:44:43,409
Yes?
605
00:44:43,493 --> 00:44:46,245
It's so time-consuming.
You have no idea.
606
00:44:47,372 --> 00:44:49,457
Yeah? What else?
607
00:44:49,540 --> 00:44:53,670
Well. Er... it's what you don't do.
608
00:44:56,005 --> 00:44:58,132
You don't not wank?
609
00:44:59,133 --> 00:45:02,220
- Jesus! You're headed for the bin.
- It's not forever.
610
00:45:02,303 --> 00:45:05,932
Yeah, well, just tell me on the big day
and I'll stand well back.
611
00:45:06,015 --> 00:45:07,934
What bothers me is the more you read,
612
00:45:08,017 --> 00:45:10,770
the more you see
literature is actually about losers.
613
00:45:10,853 --> 00:45:12,772
- Ugh, no.
- Yeah.
614
00:45:12,855 --> 00:45:16,067
It's consolation.
All literature is consolation.
615
00:45:16,150 --> 00:45:20,947
I don't care what Hector says.
I find literature really louring.
616
00:45:21,030 --> 00:45:24,325
This is Irwin, isn't it?
A line of stuff for the exam.
617
00:45:24,409 --> 00:45:26,869
No.
618
00:45:26,953 --> 00:45:28,746
Well, it isn't wholly my idea.
619
00:45:28,830 --> 00:45:30,999
I've been reading
this book by Nieshaw.
620
00:45:32,166 --> 00:45:36,462
- Who?
- Nieshaw. He's a philosopher.
621
00:45:37,672 --> 00:45:41,050
Frederick Nieshaw.
622
00:45:41,134 --> 00:45:43,219
I think that's pronounced Nietzsche.
623
00:45:44,637 --> 00:45:47,682
Oh, shit. Shit!
624
00:45:47,807 --> 00:45:50,184
- What's the matter?
- I talked to Irwin about it.
625
00:45:50,268 --> 00:45:53,021
He didn't correct me.
He let me call him Nieeee-shaw!
626
00:45:53,146 --> 00:45:56,816
- He'll think I'm a right fool. Shit!
- What have I done?
627
00:45:56,899 --> 00:46:00,194
Nothing. You've done nothing.
628
00:46:00,278 --> 00:46:03,823
The world doesn't revolve
around you, you know.
629
00:46:03,906 --> 00:46:07,869
Ah! Irwin! How are
our young men doing?
630
00:46:07,952 --> 00:46:11,039
- Are they on stream?
- I think so.
631
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,834
You think so?
Are they or aren't they?
632
00:46:14,917 --> 00:46:17,629
Must always be
something of a lottery.
633
00:46:17,712 --> 00:46:21,633
A lottery? I don't like
the sound of that, Irwin.
634
00:46:21,716 --> 00:46:23,468
I don't want you to fuck up.
635
00:46:23,551 --> 00:46:26,471
We've been down that road
too many times before.
636
00:47:03,591 --> 00:47:05,301
Oi!
637
00:47:10,682 --> 00:47:12,767
He's coming.
638
00:47:44,215 --> 00:47:48,094
They took the lead off the roofs,
they used the timbers to melt it down,
639
00:47:48,177 --> 00:47:52,473
and time did the rest,
and all thanks to Henry VIII.
640
00:47:52,557 --> 00:47:55,852
If you want to learn about Stalin,
study Henry VIII.
641
00:47:55,935 --> 00:47:58,980
If you want to learn about
Mrs. Thatcher, study Henry VIII.
642
00:47:59,063 --> 00:48:03,109
While you and Dorothy are taking them
through the history, I'll pitch camp.
643
00:48:03,192 --> 00:48:06,070
Though, Irwin, I am
constantly available
644
00:48:06,154 --> 00:48:11,200
for the provision of useful quotations -
sorry, gobbets - on request.
645
00:48:12,410 --> 00:48:16,331
"Bare ruin'd choirs, where
late the sweet birds sang."
646
00:48:16,414 --> 00:48:19,959
Remember, boys, festoon
your answers with gobbets
647
00:48:20,043 --> 00:48:22,587
and you won't go very far wrong.
648
00:48:22,670 --> 00:48:25,298
Actually,
singing was the least of it.
649
00:48:25,381 --> 00:48:28,843
The monks were farmers,
clothiers, tanners, tailors...
650
00:48:35,850 --> 00:48:38,561
- This was a toilet?
- One of them.
651
00:48:38,645 --> 00:48:42,523
- A bit draughty on the bum.
- That was the drain down there.
652
00:48:42,607 --> 00:48:45,943
And then they drank out of it?
Fucking Christians.
653
00:48:46,027 --> 00:48:48,488
What about the Ganges?
You're just as bad.
654
00:48:48,571 --> 00:48:52,742
- I'm Muslim, knob.
- You all look alike to me anyway.
655
00:48:52,825 --> 00:48:57,246
- So, what was this, then? Chapel?
- No, it was a storeroom.
656
00:48:58,289 --> 00:49:01,209
A barn. All the produce
would come in here.
657
00:49:02,251 --> 00:49:06,464
- You know it all, don't ya?
- It interests me.
658
00:49:06,547 --> 00:49:08,925
No, that's good. That's good.
659
00:49:16,557 --> 00:49:20,436
- All-male community, was it, sir?
- Of course. They were monks.
660
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,731
- Bit of that, you think?
- What?
661
00:49:23,815 --> 00:49:27,151
- Same-sex stuff.
- You blushed, sir.
662
00:49:27,235 --> 00:49:30,947
- Have I fuck blushed.
- Sir, this is consecrated ground!
663
00:49:31,030 --> 00:49:33,741
Not to me, sir.
To me it's a pagan temple.
664
00:49:33,825 --> 00:49:36,286
Only you did blush a bit, sir.
665
00:49:36,369 --> 00:49:40,581
So, is that why Henry VIII put the boot in,
then, sir - because of them bunking up?
666
00:49:40,665 --> 00:49:41,708
It's what he said.
667
00:49:41,791 --> 00:49:43,960
Not much else for them to do,
was there?
668
00:49:44,043 --> 00:49:47,046
- I mean, in the time off.
- Pray?
669
00:49:47,130 --> 00:49:51,050
Posner would make a good monk,
except he's Jewish.
670
00:49:52,135 --> 00:49:55,179
- Do Jews have monks?
- Yes. I'm one now.
671
00:49:58,266 --> 00:50:00,810
In your own time, sir.
672
00:50:04,147 --> 00:50:08,985
Pass the parcel.
That's sometimes all you can do.
673
00:50:10,028 --> 00:50:13,823
Take it, feel it, and pass it on.
674
00:50:14,866 --> 00:50:18,411
Not for me. Not for you.
675
00:50:18,494 --> 00:50:22,582
But for someone, somewhere.
676
00:50:22,665 --> 00:50:25,084
One day.
677
00:50:25,168 --> 00:50:28,713
Pass it on, boys.
That's the game I want you to learn.
678
00:50:28,796 --> 00:50:30,882
Pass it on!
679
00:50:42,810 --> 00:50:46,939
Hector. A word.
680
00:50:56,783 --> 00:50:59,994
Er, this is not the first time, apparently.
681
00:51:00,078 --> 00:51:04,165
But on this occasion, she managed
to make a note of the number.
682
00:51:05,208 --> 00:51:09,295
For the moment,
I propose to say nothing about this.
683
00:51:09,379 --> 00:51:12,715
But, fortunately, it's not long
before you're due to retire.
684
00:51:12,799 --> 00:51:17,512
In the circumstances,
I propose that we bring that forward.
685
00:51:17,595 --> 00:51:20,348
I think we should be
looking at the end of term.
686
00:51:28,815 --> 00:51:31,442
Have you nothing to say?
687
00:51:34,445 --> 00:51:36,364
"The tree of man was never quiet;
688
00:51:36,447 --> 00:51:41,077
Then 'twas the Roman, now 'tis I."
689
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,246
This is no time for poetry.
690
00:51:47,500 --> 00:51:50,169
Erm, I'm assuming
your wife doesn't know.
691
00:51:50,253 --> 00:51:51,921
I've no idea.
692
00:51:52,005 --> 00:51:56,301
What women know or don't know
has always been a mystery to me.
693
00:51:57,427 --> 00:51:59,637
And are you going to tell her?
694
00:51:59,721 --> 00:52:05,059
I don't know.
I'm not sure she'd be interested.
695
00:52:05,143 --> 00:52:08,396
Well, erm... there's another thing.
696
00:52:09,439 --> 00:52:12,734
Strange how even
the most tragic turn of events
697
00:52:12,817 --> 00:52:17,405
generally resolve themselves
into questions about the timetable.
698
00:52:17,488 --> 00:52:19,699
Irwin's been badgering me for more lessons.
699
00:52:19,782 --> 00:52:22,410
In the circumstances,
a concession might be in order.
700
00:52:22,493 --> 00:52:25,204
In future, I think
you and he might share.
701
00:52:25,288 --> 00:52:28,708
- Share?
- Share!
702
00:52:29,792 --> 00:52:32,837
In the meantime,
you must consider your position.
703
00:52:34,339 --> 00:52:37,008
I do not want to sack you.
704
00:52:38,051 --> 00:52:40,261
People talk.
705
00:52:40,345 --> 00:52:43,723
It's so... untidy.
706
00:52:45,850 --> 00:52:50,355
It would be easier for all concerned
if you retired early.
707
00:52:51,814 --> 00:52:54,734
Look, nothing happened.
708
00:52:56,778 --> 00:53:00,740
A hand on a boy's genitals at 50mph
709
00:53:00,823 --> 00:53:02,575
and you call it nothing?
710
00:53:02,659 --> 00:53:06,037
The transmission of knowledge
is in itself an erotic act.
711
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:09,999
- In the Renaissance...
- Fuck the Renaissance!
712
00:53:10,083 --> 00:53:16,047
And fuck literature and Plato
and Michelangelo and Oscar Wilde
713
00:53:16,130 --> 00:53:20,385
and all the other shrunken violets
you people line up.
714
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:27,976
This is a school,
and it isn't normal.
715
00:54:06,014 --> 00:54:09,434
- Still here?
- It is Wednesday, sir.
716
00:54:09,517 --> 00:54:12,312
I thought with the day trip
to Fountains and...
717
00:54:12,395 --> 00:54:14,647
Well, it's only half past four.
718
00:54:16,482 --> 00:54:21,112
- Well, in that case, where's Dakin?
- With Mr. Irwin, sir.
719
00:54:21,195 --> 00:54:24,365
Ah. Of course.
720
00:54:25,908 --> 00:54:28,244
He's showing him
some old exam questions.
721
00:54:28,328 --> 00:54:32,749
Ah, with all the appropriate gobbets,
no doubt.
722
00:54:32,832 --> 00:54:36,502
Well, no matter. We must
keep up the fight without him.
723
00:54:36,586 --> 00:54:40,340
- What have you learned this week?
- "Drummer Hodge", sir. Hardy.
724
00:54:40,423 --> 00:54:42,550
Ah, nice.
725
00:54:43,551 --> 00:54:48,473
"They throw in Drummer Hodge, to rest
Uncoffined -just as found:
726
00:54:48,556 --> 00:54:52,935
His landmark is a kopje-crest
Which breaks the veldt around;
727
00:54:53,019 --> 00:54:57,148
And foreign constellations west
Each night above his mound."
728
00:54:58,316 --> 00:55:02,862
"Young Hodge the Drummer never knew -
Fresh from his Wessex home -
729
00:55:02,946 --> 00:55:07,700
The meaning of the broad Karoo,
The Bush, the dusty loam,
730
00:55:07,784 --> 00:55:12,914
And why uprose to nightly view
Strange stars amid the gloam."
731
00:55:12,997 --> 00:55:17,919
"Yet portion of that unknown plain
Will Hodge for ever be;
732
00:55:18,962 --> 00:55:23,758
His homely Northern breast and brain
Grow to some Southern tree,
733
00:55:23,841 --> 00:55:29,639
And strange-eyed constellations reign
His stars eternally."
734
00:55:33,518 --> 00:55:37,480
Good. Very good.
735
00:55:43,987 --> 00:55:45,863
Any thoughts?
736
00:55:45,947 --> 00:55:50,576
I wondered, sir, if this "portion of that
unknown plain will Hodge forever be"
737
00:55:50,660 --> 00:55:52,537
is like Rupert Brooke, sir.
738
00:55:52,620 --> 00:55:54,706
"There's some corner of foreign field,
739
00:55:54,789 --> 00:55:56,874
In that dust
a richer dust concealed."
740
00:55:56,958 --> 00:56:02,380
It is, it is. It's the same thought.
Though Hardy is better, I think.
741
00:56:02,463 --> 00:56:08,177
It's more... more, er...
well, down-to-earth.
742
00:56:08,261 --> 00:56:10,972
Quite literally down-to-earth.
743
00:56:12,348 --> 00:56:14,934
- Anything about his name?
- Hodge?
744
00:56:15,018 --> 00:56:18,646
The important thing is,
he has a name.
745
00:56:19,814 --> 00:56:22,942
Say Hardy's writing
about the Zulu Wars.
746
00:56:23,026 --> 00:56:27,739
Or later, or...
The Boer War, possibly.
747
00:56:27,822 --> 00:56:30,450
And these were the first campaigns
748
00:56:30,533 --> 00:56:33,578
when soldiers, common soldiers,
were commemorated.
749
00:56:33,661 --> 00:56:37,915
The names of the dead were recorded
and inscribed on war memorials.
750
00:56:37,999 --> 00:56:42,045
Before this, soldiers - private soldiers -
751
00:56:43,254 --> 00:56:47,258
were all unknown soldiers.
752
00:56:48,509 --> 00:56:53,473
And so far from being revered,
there was a firm in the 19th century
753
00:56:53,556 --> 00:56:58,394
in Yorkshire, of course,
which swept up their bones
754
00:56:58,478 --> 00:57:02,732
from the battlefields of Europe
in order to grind them into fertilizer.
755
00:57:06,152 --> 00:57:10,365
So, thrown into a common grave
though he may be,
756
00:57:10,448 --> 00:57:14,118
he's still Hodge, the Drummer.
757
00:57:15,244 --> 00:57:18,998
Lost boy though he is,
on the far side of the world...
758
00:57:22,418 --> 00:57:24,587
he still has a name.
759
00:57:27,048 --> 00:57:28,508
How old was he?
760
00:57:28,591 --> 00:57:32,679
If he was a drummer he'd be a boy soldier.
Not even as old as you, probably.
761
00:57:32,762 --> 00:57:35,223
- No, Hardy.
- Oh, how old was Hardy?
762
00:57:35,306 --> 00:57:40,269
Oh, erm. When he
wrote this... about 60.
763
00:57:42,146 --> 00:57:44,732
My age, I suppose.
764
00:57:46,734 --> 00:57:49,946
A saddish life,
though not unappreciated.
765
00:57:55,618 --> 00:57:59,789
"Uncoffined" is a typical Hardy usage.
766
00:57:59,872 --> 00:58:05,003
It's a compound adjective, formed by
putting "un" in front of the noun.
767
00:58:05,086 --> 00:58:07,171
Or verb, of course.
768
00:58:08,131 --> 00:58:10,258
Unkissed,
769
00:58:11,384 --> 00:58:13,469
unrejoicing,
770
00:58:14,095 --> 00:58:16,514
unconfessed,
771
00:58:19,392 --> 00:58:21,394
unembraced.
772
00:58:24,188 --> 00:58:27,150
It's a turn of phrase
773
00:58:27,233 --> 00:58:30,945
that brings with it
a sense of not sharing.
774
00:58:31,029 --> 00:58:35,617
Of being out of it, whether
because of diffidence or shyness.
775
00:58:36,659 --> 00:58:39,412
But a holding back.
776
00:58:39,495 --> 00:58:42,206
Not being in the swim.
777
00:58:42,290 --> 00:58:45,710
Can you see that?
778
00:58:46,836 --> 00:58:48,921
Yes, sir.
779
00:58:51,549 --> 00:58:53,676
I felt that a bit.
780
00:59:09,943 --> 00:59:14,948
The best moments in reading
are when you come across something -
781
00:59:15,031 --> 00:59:17,700
a thought, a feeling,
a way of looking at things -
782
00:59:17,784 --> 00:59:21,162
that you'd thought special,
particular to you,
783
00:59:22,789 --> 00:59:26,459
and here it is,
set down by someone else.
784
00:59:26,542 --> 00:59:31,464
A person you've never met,
maybe even someone long dead.
785
00:59:32,882 --> 00:59:37,345
And... it's as if a hand...
786
00:59:38,763 --> 00:59:45,311
has come out... and taken yours.
787
00:59:52,068 --> 00:59:55,613
Let's just have that last verse again
and I'll let you go.
788
00:59:59,325 --> 01:00:04,330
"Yet portion of that unknown plain
Will Hodge forever be;
789
01:00:05,373 --> 01:00:09,961
His homely Northern breast and brain
Grow to some Southern tree,
790
01:00:11,671 --> 01:00:17,468
And strange-eyed constellations reign
His stars eternally."
791
01:00:26,894 --> 01:00:30,523
Shall I tell you what is wrong
with Hector as a teacher?
792
01:00:30,606 --> 01:00:34,235
And it isn't that he doesn't
produce results - he does.
793
01:00:34,319 --> 01:00:37,488
But they're unpredictable
and unquantifiable.
794
01:00:37,572 --> 01:00:41,242
And in the current educational climate,
that is of no use.
795
01:00:41,326 --> 01:00:47,582
I mean, there's inspiration, certainly.
But how do I quantify that?
796
01:00:49,667 --> 01:00:52,462
And I heard one child
singing yesterday morning,
797
01:00:52,545 --> 01:00:55,048
and on inquiry I find that his pupils
798
01:00:55,131 --> 01:00:59,844
know all the words of
"When I'm Cleaning Windows".
799
01:00:59,927 --> 01:01:04,682
George Formby, and Gracie Fields.
800
01:01:04,766 --> 01:01:08,353
Dorothy, what has Gracie Fields
got to do with anything?
801
01:01:11,272 --> 01:01:17,236
So, the upshot is... I'm glad
he handled his pupils' balls
802
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:20,490
because that at least
I can categorize.
803
01:01:20,573 --> 01:01:24,535
It's a reason for his going
no one can dispute.
804
01:01:27,705 --> 01:01:30,124
You didn't know.
805
01:01:31,084 --> 01:01:33,252
Not that, no.
806
01:01:34,629 --> 01:01:38,591
I assumed you knew.
807
01:01:39,717 --> 01:01:44,013
- He handled the boys' balls?
- I don't want to spell it out.
808
01:01:46,307 --> 01:01:49,936
You've been married yourself.
You know the form.
809
01:01:50,019 --> 01:01:53,606
And, to be fair, I think it was
more appreciative than investigatory.
810
01:01:53,690 --> 01:01:57,068
But it's... inexcusable, nevertheless.
811
01:01:58,319 --> 01:02:01,864
No. No, it's to everyone's benefit
that he should go.
812
01:02:01,948 --> 01:02:04,659
As soon as possible.
813
01:02:24,304 --> 01:02:28,141
Sir? Can I say something, sir?
814
01:02:29,142 --> 01:02:32,729
Well, we've got the most important exam
of our lives coming up
815
01:02:32,812 --> 01:02:36,107
and we're just sat here reading literature.
816
01:02:38,526 --> 01:02:42,363
Leaving that aside for the moment,
there's something I have to tell you.
817
01:02:42,447 --> 01:02:45,074
We know all that, sir.
818
01:02:45,158 --> 01:02:48,578
- How do you know?
- About sharing classes with Mr. Irwin, sir.
819
01:02:48,661 --> 01:02:50,955
- No, no, not that.
- Why is that, sir?
820
01:02:51,039 --> 01:02:54,500
It's a question
of timetabling, apparently.
821
01:02:54,584 --> 01:02:56,961
No, no, this is... something else.
822
01:02:57,045 --> 01:02:59,714
Does that mean your lessons
will be more like Mr. Irwin's?
823
01:02:59,797 --> 01:03:02,133
- More use, sir?
- Less farting about?
824
01:03:02,216 --> 01:03:04,844
Hush, boys, hush.
825
01:03:04,927 --> 01:03:07,096
Can't you see? I'm not in the mood.
826
01:03:07,180 --> 01:03:12,310
What mood is that, sir? The subjunctive?
The mood of possibility?
827
01:03:12,393 --> 01:03:14,479
Get on with some work. Read.
828
01:03:14,562 --> 01:03:17,440
That's what we're saying.
There's no time for reading!
829
01:03:17,523 --> 01:03:21,569
- Can't you just give us the gist, sir?
- Precis it, sir. Like Mr. Irwin does.
830
01:03:21,653 --> 01:03:23,947
Just the outline, sir. Then we can pretend.
831
01:03:24,030 --> 01:03:28,034
- Pretend?
- No, no, no, sir! That's what exams are for!
832
01:03:28,117 --> 01:03:30,954
Will you shut up about these exams!
833
01:03:31,037 --> 01:03:33,206
Shut up, all of you!
834
01:03:39,545 --> 01:03:44,425
What made me piss my life away
in this godforsaken place?
835
01:03:46,636 --> 01:03:49,013
There's nothing of me left.
836
01:03:55,353 --> 01:03:57,438
Go away.
837
01:04:00,733 --> 01:04:02,819
Go.
838
01:04:17,208 --> 01:04:19,919
Sir...
839
01:04:23,506 --> 01:04:25,591
Sir...
840
01:04:31,723 --> 01:04:33,808
Sir...
841
01:04:45,194 --> 01:04:49,532
Would you like to start?
842
01:04:50,700 --> 01:04:52,785
I don't mind.
843
01:04:52,869 --> 01:04:57,540
How do you normally start?
It is your lesson, general studies.
844
01:04:57,624 --> 01:05:00,501
Well, the boys decide. Ask them.
845
01:05:02,170 --> 01:05:04,297
Anybody? Floor's open.
846
01:05:07,675 --> 01:05:10,345
Oh, come on, boys. Don't sulk.
847
01:05:10,428 --> 01:05:15,141
We don't know where we are, sir.
Your class or Mr. Irwin's.
848
01:05:15,224 --> 01:05:17,935
- Does it matter?
- Well, yes, sir.
849
01:05:18,019 --> 01:05:22,190
Depends if you want us
thoughtful or... smart.
850
01:05:22,273 --> 01:05:25,360
He wants you civil,
you rancid little turd.
851
01:05:25,443 --> 01:05:28,071
Hitting us. You're a witness.
He could be sacked.
852
01:05:28,154 --> 01:05:30,323
I thought we'd
talk about the Holocaust.
853
01:05:30,406 --> 01:05:33,785
Good gracious!
How can you teach the Holocaust?
854
01:05:33,868 --> 01:05:38,247
That would do as a question.
Can you, should you, teach the Holocaust?
855
01:05:38,331 --> 01:05:40,416
Anybody? Come on.
856
01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:44,754
It has origins, it has consequences.
It's a subject like any other.
857
01:05:44,837 --> 01:05:47,632
Not like any other, surely.
Not like any other at all.
858
01:05:47,715 --> 01:05:48,883
No, but it's a topic.
859
01:05:48,967 --> 01:05:54,472
They go on school trips there nowadays,
don't they? Auschwitz, Dachau.
860
01:05:54,555 --> 01:05:58,393
What's always concerned me
is where do they have their sandwiches?
861
01:05:58,476 --> 01:06:01,062
The visitors' center.
It's like anywhere else.
862
01:06:01,145 --> 01:06:04,065
Yeah, but do they take
pictures of each other there?
863
01:06:04,148 --> 01:06:06,859
Are they smiling?
864
01:06:06,943 --> 01:06:11,614
Do they hold hands?
Nothing is appropriate.
865
01:06:11,698 --> 01:06:15,243
What if you were to write
this was so far beyond one's experience,
866
01:06:15,326 --> 01:06:17,412
silence is the only proper response?
867
01:06:17,495 --> 01:06:20,707
Mr. Hector's answer to lots of questions,
isn't it, sir?
868
01:06:21,582 --> 01:06:23,668
Er, yes. Yes, Dakin, it is.
869
01:06:23,751 --> 01:06:27,213
"Whereof one cannot speak,
thereof one must be silent."
870
01:06:27,297 --> 01:06:29,549
That's right, isn't it, sir?
Wittgenstein.
871
01:06:29,632 --> 01:06:32,093
- Yes, that's good.
- No, it's not good.
872
01:06:32,176 --> 01:06:35,388
It's flip, it's glib,
it's journalism.
873
01:06:35,471 --> 01:06:37,974
- It's you that taught us it.
- I didn't teach you.
874
01:06:38,057 --> 01:06:40,852
And Wittgenstein did not
screw it out of his very guts
875
01:06:40,935 --> 01:06:44,230
in order for you
to turn it into a dinky formula.
876
01:06:44,314 --> 01:06:48,818
Why can't we simply just condemn the camps
outright as an unprecedented horror?
877
01:06:48,901 --> 01:06:51,237
There's no point, sir.
Everybody will do that.
878
01:06:51,321 --> 01:06:53,406
"The camp's an event
unlike any other."
879
01:06:53,489 --> 01:06:56,409
"The evil unprecedented."
Et cetera, et cetera.
880
01:06:56,492 --> 01:07:00,580
No! Can't you see
that even to say "et cetera"
881
01:07:00,663 --> 01:07:03,333
is... monstrous?
882
01:07:04,083 --> 01:07:06,586
"Et cetera" is what
the Nazis would have said.
883
01:07:06,669 --> 01:07:09,631
The dead reduced
to mere verbal abbreviation.
884
01:07:09,714 --> 01:07:14,052
All right, not et cetera. But given that
the death camps are thought of as unique,
885
01:07:14,135 --> 01:07:17,096
wouldn't another approach be
to show precedents?
886
01:07:17,180 --> 01:07:20,058
- Put them, well, in proportion.
- Proportion?
887
01:07:20,141 --> 01:07:22,852
Not proportion, then,
but putting them in context.
888
01:07:22,935 --> 01:07:24,520
But to put something in context
889
01:07:24,604 --> 01:07:28,024
is a step towards saying
it can be understood and explained.
890
01:07:28,107 --> 01:07:30,944
And if it can be explained,
then it can be explained away.
891
01:07:31,027 --> 01:07:33,404
Understand everything is to forgive everything.
892
01:07:33,488 --> 01:07:36,866
- That's good, Posner.
- It isn't good. I mean it, sir.
893
01:07:36,950 --> 01:07:39,202
When we talk about putting them in context,
894
01:07:39,285 --> 01:07:41,913
it's the same as
the dissolution of the monasteries.
895
01:07:41,996 --> 01:07:45,208
Dozens of monasteries
had been dissolved before Henry VIII.
896
01:07:45,291 --> 01:07:50,088
The difference is I didn't lose any relatives
in the dissolution of the monasteries.
897
01:07:50,171 --> 01:07:51,297
Good point.
898
01:07:51,381 --> 01:07:55,134
You keep saying, "good point".
Not good point, sir. True!
899
01:07:56,177 --> 01:08:00,974
To you, th-the Holocaust is just another topic
on which we may or may not get a question.
900
01:08:01,057 --> 01:08:02,517
No!
901
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:06,771
No! But this is history.
Distance yourselves.
902
01:08:06,854 --> 01:08:09,440
Our perspective on the past alters.
903
01:08:09,524 --> 01:08:14,028
And looking back, immediately in front
of us is dead ground - we don't see it.
904
01:08:14,112 --> 01:08:19,867
And because we don't see it, this means there
is no period so remote as the recent past.
905
01:08:20,535 --> 01:08:22,578
And one of the historian's jobs
906
01:08:22,662 --> 01:08:26,874
is to anticipate what our perspective
of that period will be.
907
01:08:26,958 --> 01:08:29,711
- Even on the Holocaust.
908
01:08:32,547 --> 01:08:35,425
- Won the argument there, sir.
- What?
909
01:08:35,508 --> 01:08:39,554
The Holocaust.
Yep, you really showed him.
910
01:08:41,973 --> 01:08:44,809
- You flirt!
- I don't understand it.
911
01:08:44,892 --> 01:08:47,562
I've never wanted to please anybody
the way I do him.
912
01:08:47,645 --> 01:08:49,731
Girls not excepted.
913
01:08:51,816 --> 01:08:54,736
- He's going, you know.
- The big man?
914
01:08:54,819 --> 01:08:57,071
Yeah. Don't let on. Fiona says.
915
01:08:57,155 --> 01:08:59,616
Sacked? Who complained?
916
01:09:01,409 --> 01:09:03,494
That's why the lifts have stopped.
917
01:09:03,578 --> 01:09:06,998
Poor sod. Though in some ways,
I can't say I'm sorry.
918
01:09:07,081 --> 01:09:12,920
No. No more genital massage
as one speeds along leafy suburban roads!
919
01:09:13,004 --> 01:09:16,341
No more of the bike's melancholy,
long, withdrawing roar
920
01:09:16,424 --> 01:09:19,385
as he dropped you at the corner,
your honor still intact.
921
01:09:19,469 --> 01:09:20,678
'Ey.
922
01:09:24,682 --> 01:09:27,644
A lecher though one is,
or one aspires to be,
923
01:09:27,727 --> 01:09:30,939
it occurs to me that
the lot of woman cannot be easy,
924
01:09:31,022 --> 01:09:36,402
who must suffer such inexpert
male fumblings virtually on a daily basis.
925
01:09:38,154 --> 01:09:40,490
Are we scarred for life, do you think?
926
01:09:40,573 --> 01:09:42,158
Well, we must hope so.
927
01:09:42,408 --> 01:09:46,037
"By Echo and the Bunnymen)
928
01:10:12,313 --> 01:10:13,481
Dad.
929
01:10:32,041 --> 01:10:33,751
Never gives an inch, does he?
930
01:10:33,835 --> 01:10:38,214
"Lucid and, up to a point, compelling, but
if you reached a conclusion it escaped me."
931
01:10:38,298 --> 01:10:40,508
- Seen your handwriting recently?
- Why?
932
01:10:40,591 --> 01:10:44,595
- You're beginning to write like him.
- I'm not trying to, honestly.
933
01:10:45,221 --> 01:10:48,266
- You're writing like him and all.
- No, I'm not!
934
01:10:48,349 --> 01:10:51,561
Dakin writes like him.
I write like Dakin.
935
01:10:51,644 --> 01:10:53,688
It's done wonders for the sex life.
936
01:10:53,771 --> 01:10:57,025
Apparently I talk about him so much,
Fiona gets really pissed off.
937
01:10:57,108 --> 01:10:59,402
Doing it's about
the only time I shut up.
938
01:10:59,485 --> 01:11:02,488
- Would you do it with him?
- Yeah, I wondered about that.
939
01:11:02,572 --> 01:11:06,409
I might. Bring a little bit
of sunshine into his life.
940
01:11:07,660 --> 01:11:09,662
It's only a wank, after all.
941
01:11:09,746 --> 01:11:12,373
What makes you think
he'd do it with you?
942
01:11:12,457 --> 01:11:15,918
You complacent fuck!
943
01:11:16,002 --> 01:11:19,797
The Archbishop of Canterbury
know you talk like this?
944
01:11:19,881 --> 01:11:23,885
I like him. Just wish
I thought he liked me.
945
01:11:26,137 --> 01:11:29,849
Irwin does like him.
He seldom looks at anyone else.
946
01:11:29,932 --> 01:11:32,560
- How do you know?
- Because nor do I!
947
01:11:32,644 --> 01:11:35,104
Our eyes meet looking at Dakin.
948
01:11:36,356 --> 01:11:40,902
Oh, Pos. With your spaniel heart.
949
01:11:41,861 --> 01:11:44,614
- It will pass.
- Yes, it's only a phase.
950
01:11:44,697 --> 01:11:47,033
Who says I want it to pass?
951
01:11:47,784 --> 01:11:50,453
But the pain. The pain!
952
01:11:53,998 --> 01:11:57,001
Hector would say
it's the only education worth having.
953
01:11:57,085 --> 01:11:59,671
I just wish there were marks for it.
954
01:12:01,923 --> 01:12:04,124
Mr. Crowther, now,
one of your interests is the theater.
955
01:12:04,175 --> 01:12:06,260
Tell us about that.
956
01:12:06,761 --> 01:12:11,182
Erm, I'm keen on acting.
I've done various parts.
957
01:12:11,265 --> 01:12:13,977
Can I stop you?
Don't mention the theater.
958
01:12:14,060 --> 01:12:16,062
Oh. Well, it's what I'm interested in.
959
01:12:16,145 --> 01:12:18,523
Then soft-pedal it,
the acting side, anyway.
960
01:12:18,606 --> 01:12:21,442
Dons, most dons think
the theater is a waste of time.
961
01:12:21,526 --> 01:12:24,654
Music is all right, though, isn't it?
They don't frown on that.
962
01:12:24,737 --> 01:12:26,823
No, you should just
say what you enjoy.
963
01:12:26,906 --> 01:12:28,449
- Mozart?
- No.
964
01:12:28,533 --> 01:12:33,621
Everybody likes Mozart. Somebody more
off the beaten track. Tippett, or Broekman.
965
01:12:33,705 --> 01:12:37,750
- But I don't know them.
- May I make a silly suggestion?
966
01:12:37,834 --> 01:12:40,253
Why can they not
all just tell the truth?
967
01:12:42,171 --> 01:12:47,260
I hesitate to mention this
lest it occasion a sophisticated groan.
968
01:12:47,343 --> 01:12:49,345
But it may not have
crossed your minds,
969
01:12:49,429 --> 01:12:52,932
but one of the dons
who interviews you may be a woman.
970
01:12:54,309 --> 01:12:57,979
I'm reluctant at this stage in the game
to expose you to new ideas
971
01:12:58,062 --> 01:13:02,567
but, having taught you all history
on a strictly non-gender orientated basis,
972
01:13:02,650 --> 01:13:09,282
I just wonder whether it occurs to any
of you how... dispiriting this can be.
973
01:13:11,743 --> 01:13:15,997
- Am I embarrassing you?
- A bit, Miss.
974
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:18,499
It's not our fault.
It's just the way it is.
975
01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:22,253
"The world is everything that is the case."
It's Wittgenstein, Miss.
976
01:13:22,337 --> 01:13:25,673
Yes, yes, I know it's Wittgenstein,
thank you.
977
01:13:26,799 --> 01:13:31,220
Can you for a moment
imagine how depressing it is
978
01:13:31,304 --> 01:13:35,183
to teach five centuries
of masculine ineptitude?
979
01:13:37,435 --> 01:13:40,563
Why do you think there are
no woman historians on TV?
980
01:13:40,647 --> 01:13:42,398
- No tits!
- Hit that boy!
981
01:13:42,482 --> 01:13:45,276
- Hit him!
- Sir, you can't, sir.
982
01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:47,862
I'll tell you why!
983
01:13:47,946 --> 01:13:51,824
Because history's not such a frolic
for women as it is for men.
984
01:13:51,908 --> 01:13:55,453
Why should it be? They never
get round the conference table.
985
01:13:55,536 --> 01:13:59,832
In 1919, for instance,
they just... arranged the flowers,
986
01:13:59,916 --> 01:14:02,001
then gracefully retired.
987
01:14:03,127 --> 01:14:05,213
History is a commentary
988
01:14:05,296 --> 01:14:10,093
on the various and continuing
incapabilities of men.
989
01:14:14,138 --> 01:14:17,016
What is history?
990
01:14:17,934 --> 01:14:22,730
History is women
following behind... with a bucket.
991
01:14:29,654 --> 01:14:31,572
Erm... Rudge.
992
01:14:37,745 --> 01:14:42,250
Now, how do you
define history, Mr. Rudge?
993
01:14:42,333 --> 01:14:44,419
Can I speak freely, Miss?
994
01:14:45,461 --> 01:14:49,757
- Without being hit?
- I will protect you.
995
01:14:50,466 --> 01:14:52,552
How do I define history?
996
01:14:53,511 --> 01:14:55,847
It's just one fucking thing after another.
997
01:15:00,643 --> 01:15:06,024
I see. And why do you want
to come to Christ Church?
998
01:15:07,692 --> 01:15:10,153
It's the one I thought
I might get into.
999
01:15:10,236 --> 01:15:11,696
No other reason?
1000
01:15:13,865 --> 01:15:16,200
Do you like the architecture,
for instance?
1001
01:15:16,284 --> 01:15:18,870
But they'll ask me about sport,
won't they?
1002
01:15:18,953 --> 01:15:22,498
If you're as uncommunicative as this,
they may be forced to.
1003
01:15:22,582 --> 01:15:27,462
The point is, Rudge, even if they want to take
you on the basis of your prowess on the field,
1004
01:15:27,545 --> 01:15:31,257
you have to help them, at least pretend
there are other considerations.
1005
01:15:31,341 --> 01:15:35,595
Look, I'm shit at all this. Sorry.
1006
01:15:37,096 --> 01:15:39,891
If they like me
and they want to take me,
1007
01:15:39,974 --> 01:15:43,269
they'll take me because
I'm dull and ordinary.
1008
01:15:45,229 --> 01:15:49,734
I'm no good in interviews, but I've got
enough chat to take me round the golf course,
1009
01:15:49,817 --> 01:15:54,113
and maybe there'll be someone on the board
who wants to go around the golf course.
1010
01:15:54,197 --> 01:15:57,367
I may not know much
about Jean-Paul Sartre,
1011
01:15:57,450 --> 01:15:59,744
but I've got a handicap of four.
1012
01:16:00,620 --> 01:16:03,247
Where have you heard about Sartre?
1013
01:16:05,166 --> 01:16:08,252
- He was a good golfer.
- Really?
1014
01:16:08,336 --> 01:16:11,130
I never knew that. Interesting!
1015
01:16:11,756 --> 01:16:14,926
Peter, how did you know
Sartre was a golfer?
1016
01:16:15,009 --> 01:16:17,136
I don't know that he was.
1017
01:16:17,220 --> 01:16:20,515
How could I? I don't even know
who the fuck he is.
1018
01:16:20,598 --> 01:16:23,559
Well, they keep telling us
you have to lie.
1019
01:16:23,643 --> 01:16:27,397
I have a feeling Kafka
was good at table tennis.
1020
01:16:27,647 --> 01:16:30,900
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Sir. I never gave you my essay.
1021
01:16:30,984 --> 01:16:33,611
What degree did you get, sir?
You never said.
1022
01:16:33,736 --> 01:16:35,822
- Second.
- Ha, boring.
1023
01:16:35,905 --> 01:16:39,075
- Didn't the old magic work?
- I hadn't perfected the technique.
1024
01:16:39,158 --> 01:16:42,495
- No, come on.
- It's after four. I'm gonna.
1025
01:16:52,422 --> 01:16:55,800
- What college were you at?
- Corpus.
1026
01:16:56,467 --> 01:16:59,554
- That's not one anyone's going in for.
- No.
1027
01:16:59,637 --> 01:17:02,932
- You happy?
- There? Yeah. Yeah, I was quite.
1028
01:17:03,016 --> 01:17:06,227
Do you think we'll be happy,
say we get in?
1029
01:17:06,311 --> 01:17:10,648
- You'll be happy, anyway.
- I'm not sure I like that.
1030
01:17:11,816 --> 01:17:15,987
Why? Uncomplicated -
is that what you mean?
1031
01:17:16,779 --> 01:17:18,865
Outgoing? Straight?
1032
01:17:18,948 --> 01:17:21,409
They're none of them
bad things to be, you know.
1033
01:17:21,492 --> 01:17:25,079
It depends. Nice to be
a bit more complicated.
1034
01:17:25,163 --> 01:17:27,415
Or to be thought so.
1035
01:17:31,044 --> 01:17:32,795
It's Felix!
1036
01:17:32,879 --> 01:17:34,756
Oh, Christ!
1037
01:17:39,177 --> 01:17:41,512
- Shh!
1038
01:17:49,103 --> 01:17:51,648
- Not very bright, are you?
- Am I not?
1039
01:17:51,731 --> 01:17:53,983
No, sir.
1040
01:17:54,067 --> 01:17:56,235
- How's Posner?
- Why?
1041
01:17:56,319 --> 01:17:58,947
- He likes you, doesn't he?
- Well, it's his age.
1042
01:17:59,030 --> 01:18:01,115
- He's growing up.
- It's hard for him.
1043
01:18:01,199 --> 01:18:03,993
Boring for me.
1044
01:18:04,077 --> 01:18:07,205
You're not suggesting
that I do something about it?
1045
01:18:07,288 --> 01:18:11,292
It happens.
I wouldn't anyway. Too young.
1046
01:18:11,376 --> 01:18:15,505
- You still look quite young.
- That's cos I am, I suppose.
1047
01:18:15,588 --> 01:18:17,674
- How do you think history happens?
- What?
1048
01:18:17,757 --> 01:18:19,717
How does stuff happen, do you think?
1049
01:18:19,801 --> 01:18:24,973
People decide to do stuff.
Make moves, alter things.
1050
01:18:25,056 --> 01:18:29,769
- I'm not sure what you're talking about.
- No? Think about it.
1051
01:18:29,852 --> 01:18:32,063
Some do, make moves. I suppose.
1052
01:18:32,146 --> 01:18:37,235
Others react to events. In 1939, for instance,
Hitler made a move on Poland, Poland...
1053
01:18:37,318 --> 01:18:39,070
- Gave in.
- Is that what you mean?
1054
01:18:39,153 --> 01:18:41,114
No.
1055
01:18:41,197 --> 01:18:42,782
Not Poland, anyway.
1056
01:18:44,242 --> 01:18:47,495
- Was Poland taken by surprise?
- To some extent.
1057
01:18:49,122 --> 01:18:51,582
Although they knew something was up.
1058
01:18:53,084 --> 01:18:55,461
- What was your essay about?
- Turning points.
1059
01:18:55,545 --> 01:18:58,881
Ah, yeah. That's moments
when history rattles over the points.
1060
01:18:58,965 --> 01:19:01,718
- Shall I tell you what you've written? Dunkirk.
- Yep.
1061
01:19:01,801 --> 01:19:04,137
- Hitler turning on Russia.
- Yeah.
1062
01:19:04,220 --> 01:19:06,639
- Alamein.
- Yeah, all those.
1063
01:19:06,723 --> 01:19:09,517
More? That's good.
1064
01:19:09,601 --> 01:19:12,061
When Chamberlain resigned
as prime minister,
1065
01:19:12,145 --> 01:19:16,774
Churchill wasn't the first thought.
Halifax more generally acceptable.
1066
01:19:16,858 --> 01:19:21,613
But on the afternoon the decision was
taken, Halifax chose to go to the dentist.
1067
01:19:21,696 --> 01:19:25,241
If Halifax had had better teeth,
we might have lost the war.
1068
01:19:25,325 --> 01:19:29,162
- That's terrific.
- Well, it's subjunctive history.
1069
01:19:29,245 --> 01:19:31,372
Come again?
1070
01:19:31,456 --> 01:19:37,086
Subjunctive - the mood used when something
might or might not have happened.
1071
01:19:37,170 --> 01:19:39,797
When it's imagined.
1072
01:19:39,881 --> 01:19:42,634
Hector's crazy about the subjunctive.
1073
01:19:44,093 --> 01:19:47,639
- Why are you smiling?
- Nothing.
1074
01:19:49,474 --> 01:19:51,184
Good luck.
1075
01:20:03,112 --> 01:20:05,198
You may begin.
1076
01:20:21,255 --> 01:20:23,049
Shit.
1077
01:20:27,887 --> 01:20:31,724
- Yes?
- Bit hit-and-miss, Miss.
1078
01:20:31,808 --> 01:20:35,895
I was so nice about Hitler,
a much misunderstood man.
1079
01:20:35,979 --> 01:20:37,563
Queen Elizabeth, Miss.
1080
01:20:37,647 --> 01:20:40,024
Less remarkable for her abilities
1081
01:20:40,108 --> 01:20:45,029
than the fact that, unlike so many of her
sisters, she got a chance to exercise them.
1082
01:20:45,113 --> 01:20:47,198
That's the stuff!
1083
01:20:49,659 --> 01:20:52,370
Hope they don't mind trainers.
They're all I've got.
1084
01:20:52,453 --> 01:20:54,038
It's not an exam in footwear.
1085
01:20:54,122 --> 01:20:56,582
Somebody told me it's
four miles to the bogs.
1086
01:20:56,666 --> 01:21:00,628
Do you want somewhere with a shit degree
but has toilets en suite?
1087
01:21:00,712 --> 01:21:03,047
I say if they don't like me, then fuck 'em.
1088
01:21:03,131 --> 01:21:05,216
Oh, Peter, I wish
I had your philosophy.
1089
01:21:05,300 --> 01:21:10,722
- What'll you do? Flutter the eyelashes?
- I think the half-smile with a hint of sadness.
1090
01:21:10,805 --> 01:21:12,015
Fuck off!
1091
01:21:12,098 --> 01:21:14,559
Get in, sit down.
1092
01:21:14,642 --> 01:21:16,936
Good luck.
1093
01:22:09,948 --> 01:22:11,574
Come in.
1094
01:22:14,410 --> 01:22:17,038
Mr. Lockwood?
1095
01:22:24,379 --> 01:22:26,547
No Irwin here.
1096
01:22:31,552 --> 01:22:35,098
- This is Corpus, isn't it?
- Yeah.
1097
01:22:35,932 --> 01:22:41,521
They liked my Hitler answer, praised
what they called my "sense of detachment".
1098
01:22:41,604 --> 01:22:44,941
They said it was
the foundation of writing history.
1099
01:22:45,024 --> 01:22:47,277
- Ah, fucking hell!
1100
01:22:47,360 --> 01:22:51,990
It's like a stately home.
My parents would love it.
1101
01:23:08,548 --> 01:23:12,969
This is Mr. Rudge, who, if he comes up,
is hoping to read history.
1102
01:23:16,472 --> 01:23:20,143
- Who is he?
- Rudge.
1103
01:23:30,528 --> 01:23:33,489
- What's he want us for?
- No idea.
1104
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:37,368
- Pep talk?
- Bit late for that.
1105
01:23:37,452 --> 01:23:40,330
It's probably about Hector.
1106
01:23:40,413 --> 01:23:45,418
- I sort of know.
- I imagine everyone sort of knows.
1107
01:23:45,501 --> 01:23:49,797
- Does his wife?
- He doesn't think so, apparently.
1108
01:23:49,881 --> 01:23:53,843
But I imagine she's another one
who's sort of known all along.
1109
01:23:53,926 --> 01:23:57,055
The husband on a low light.
1110
01:23:58,139 --> 01:24:01,517
That's what they want,
these supposedly unsuspecting wives.
1111
01:24:01,601 --> 01:24:06,731
The husband's lukewarm attentions.
Just what they married them for.
1112
01:24:08,942 --> 01:24:12,946
Oh, he's a fool,
but he was also unlucky.
1113
01:24:13,947 --> 01:24:18,159
For a start, the lollipop lady's
only on duty a couple of hours.
1114
01:24:18,242 --> 01:24:20,995
Five minutes later,
she'd have gone off.
1115
01:24:21,079 --> 01:24:23,539
And what if the lights
had been green?
1116
01:24:23,623 --> 01:24:26,542
Or if there'd been
no children coming?
1117
01:24:26,626 --> 01:24:32,382
The smallest of incidents,
the junction of a dizzying range of...
1118
01:24:32,465 --> 01:24:34,634
alternatives.
1119
01:24:34,717 --> 01:24:37,512
Any one of which could have
had a different outcome.
1120
01:24:38,638 --> 01:24:44,811
If I was... a bold teacher -
if I was you, even -
1121
01:24:44,894 --> 01:24:48,606
I could spend a lesson dissecting
what the headmaster insists on calling
1122
01:24:48,690 --> 01:24:50,817
"this unfortunate incident".
1123
01:24:50,900 --> 01:24:54,654
And it would teach the boys
more about history
1124
01:24:54,737 --> 01:24:58,199
and the utter randomness
of things than...
1125
01:24:58,283 --> 01:25:02,537
well, than I've ever
managed to do, so far.
1126
01:25:09,085 --> 01:25:11,671
I wonder how they're going on.
1127
01:25:13,464 --> 01:25:17,552
- Don't you ever want to go back?
- To Oxford?
1128
01:25:19,429 --> 01:25:21,514
I'm not clever enough.
1129
01:25:25,310 --> 01:25:29,564
- I'm not anything enough, really.
1130
01:25:32,900 --> 01:25:34,319
Dorothy, a word.
1131
01:25:50,084 --> 01:25:52,545
Trouble at t'mill.
1132
01:25:52,629 --> 01:25:58,468
That's the news he's aching to impart.
My marching orders.
1133
01:26:00,470 --> 01:26:03,514
- I sort of knew.
- Ah.
1134
01:26:04,432 --> 01:26:06,768
Dakin told me.
1135
01:26:10,355 --> 01:26:12,440
Did he tell you why?
1136
01:26:17,570 --> 01:26:22,408
I've got this idea
of buying a van,
1137
01:26:22,492 --> 01:26:27,497
filling it with books and taking it
round to country markets.
1138
01:26:27,580 --> 01:26:30,416
Shropshire, Herefordshire.
1139
01:26:30,500 --> 01:26:32,710
"The open road, the dusty highway."
1140
01:26:32,794 --> 01:26:36,172
"Travel, change, interest, excitement."
Poop-poop!
1141
01:26:44,305 --> 01:26:46,849
See, what I didn't want
was to turn out boys
1142
01:26:46,933 --> 01:26:51,437
who would claim in later life
to have a deep love of "literature".
1143
01:26:51,521 --> 01:26:54,274
Or who would talk
in their middle age
1144
01:26:54,357 --> 01:26:57,944
of the lure of language
and their love of words.
1145
01:26:58,027 --> 01:27:03,241
"Words" said in a reverential way
that is somehow...
1146
01:27:05,702 --> 01:27:07,787
Welsh.
1147
01:27:09,956 --> 01:27:13,960
That's what the tosh was for -
Gracie Fields, Brief Encounter.
1148
01:27:14,043 --> 01:27:18,256
It's an antidote.
Sheer, calculated silliness.
1149
01:27:22,719 --> 01:27:24,804
Has a boy ever made you unhappy?
1150
01:27:31,394 --> 01:27:33,479
They used to do.
1151
01:27:38,568 --> 01:27:42,530
See it as an inoculation, rather.
1152
01:27:43,615 --> 01:27:49,287
Briefly painful, but providing immunity
for however long it takes.
1153
01:27:50,330 --> 01:27:54,876
Given the occasional booster,
another face,
1154
01:27:54,959 --> 01:27:58,421
another reminder of the pain,
1155
01:27:58,504 --> 01:28:03,259
it can last you... half a lifetime.
1156
01:28:05,345 --> 01:28:09,599
- Love.
- Who could love me?
1157
01:28:13,186 --> 01:28:17,190
- I talk too much.
- Do they know?
1158
01:28:21,819 --> 01:28:25,865
They know... everything.
1159
01:28:27,700 --> 01:28:32,455
Don't touch him.
He'll think you're a fool.
1160
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:39,128
- It's what they think of me.
1161
01:28:48,346 --> 01:28:50,848
You knew as well, I gather?
1162
01:28:53,434 --> 01:28:56,229
And the boys knew.
1163
01:28:57,021 --> 01:29:00,942
Well, of course the boys knew.
They had it at first hand.
1164
01:29:03,069 --> 01:29:05,363
I didn't actually do anything.
1165
01:29:05,446 --> 01:29:08,700
I mean, it was a laying on of hands.
I don't deny that.
1166
01:29:08,783 --> 01:29:11,828
But more my way of...
benediction than gratification.
1167
01:29:11,911 --> 01:29:15,957
Hector, darling, love you as I do,
that is the most colossal balls.
1168
01:29:16,040 --> 01:29:18,668
- Is it?
- A grope is a grope.
1169
01:29:18,751 --> 01:29:21,004
It is not the Annunciation.
1170
01:29:23,339 --> 01:29:26,050
You twerp!
1171
01:29:27,635 --> 01:29:31,222
Anyway, what Felix wanted to tell me
is that when I finish next year,
1172
01:29:31,306 --> 01:29:34,017
he's hoping he can persuade you
to step into my shoes.
1173
01:29:34,100 --> 01:29:36,144
Irwin.
1174
01:29:36,227 --> 01:29:40,023
For your information, they're a size
seven court shoe, broad fitting.
1175
01:29:42,483 --> 01:29:44,861
Chris! Chris!
1176
01:29:47,071 --> 01:29:48,990
Adi!
1177
01:29:57,624 --> 01:29:59,125
David!
1178
01:30:03,546 --> 01:30:06,549
Evening. Lockwood, 4C.
1179
01:30:16,726 --> 01:30:18,811
Ah, Irwin!
1180
01:30:18,895 --> 01:30:22,357
Splendid news! Splendid news.
1181
01:30:22,440 --> 01:30:26,486
Posner, a scholarship.
Dakin, an exhibition.
1182
01:30:26,569 --> 01:30:29,197
And places for everybody else!
1183
01:30:30,657 --> 01:30:32,951
It's more than one would
ever have hoped for.
1184
01:30:33,034 --> 01:30:36,537
Irwin, you're to be congratulated
on a remarkable achievement.
1185
01:30:36,621 --> 01:30:41,668
Oh, and you too. You too, Dorothy,
of course, who laid the foundations.
1186
01:30:41,751 --> 01:30:44,045
- Not Rudge, Headmaster.
- Not Rudge. Oh, dear.
1187
01:30:44,128 --> 01:30:47,548
- The others have all had letters.
- It was always an outside chance.
1188
01:30:47,632 --> 01:30:50,802
It's a pity. It would have been good
to have a clean sweep.
1189
01:30:50,885 --> 01:30:56,724
Still, as I've said all along,
you can't polish a turd.
1190
01:31:01,396 --> 01:31:02,480
Rudge!
1191
01:31:10,989 --> 01:31:13,324
You haven't heard from Oxford?
1192
01:31:14,242 --> 01:31:16,953
Perhaps you'll hear tomorrow.
1193
01:31:17,036 --> 01:31:19,789
Why should I?
They told me when I was there.
1194
01:31:19,872 --> 01:31:21,833
I'm sorry.
1195
01:31:21,916 --> 01:31:25,586
What for? I got in.
1196
01:31:26,754 --> 01:31:29,340
How come?
1197
01:31:29,424 --> 01:31:34,053
What, how come they told me,
or how come they took a thick sod like me?
1198
01:31:36,806 --> 01:31:38,391
I had family connections.
1199
01:31:38,474 --> 01:31:41,978
Somebody in your family
went to Christ Church?
1200
01:31:42,061 --> 01:31:45,607
Well, in a manner
of speaking. My dad.
1201
01:31:45,690 --> 01:31:48,276
Before he got married
he was a college servant there.
1202
01:31:48,359 --> 01:31:53,531
This old... parson who'd just been sitting
there most of the interview suddenly said
1203
01:31:53,615 --> 01:31:58,536
was I related to Bill Rudge who'd been
a scout in staircase seven in the 1950s.
1204
01:31:58,620 --> 01:32:01,039
So, I said he's my dad,
1205
01:32:01,122 --> 01:32:05,126
and they said I was just the kind
of candidate they were looking for.
1206
01:32:06,544 --> 01:32:08,963
Mind you, I did do
the other stuff like...
1207
01:32:09,047 --> 01:32:14,719
Stalin was a sweetie
and Wilfred Owen was a wuss.
1208
01:32:15,720 --> 01:32:21,726
They said I plainly thought for myself and
was exactly what their rugger team needed.
1209
01:32:21,809 --> 01:32:26,522
- Are you not pleased?
- It's not like winning a match.
1210
01:32:30,318 --> 01:32:34,489
You see, Miss...
I want to do the stuff I want to do.
1211
01:32:35,823 --> 01:32:40,787
I mean, this, I only wanted it
cos the others did, and my dad.
1212
01:32:40,870 --> 01:32:43,873
Now I'm in, I just feel like
telling the college to stuff it.
1213
01:32:43,957 --> 01:32:46,459
I think that's Mr. Hector.
1214
01:32:47,585 --> 01:32:50,838
No, it isn't, Miss. It's me.
1215
01:33:14,654 --> 01:33:19,993
- I went round to your college.
- I'm surprised you're interested.
1216
01:33:20,076 --> 01:33:24,122
I was kind of lonely.
I wanted to see where you'd been.
1217
01:33:25,581 --> 01:33:28,376
- Only no one had heard of you at Corpus.
- I was at Jesus.
1218
01:33:28,459 --> 01:33:31,754
- You said Corpus.
- Corpus, Jesus... What does it matter?
1219
01:33:35,842 --> 01:33:39,762
I never got in. I was at Bristol.
1220
01:33:40,805 --> 01:33:44,392
I did go to Oxford but it was
just to do a teaching diploma.
1221
01:33:44,475 --> 01:33:48,980
- Does that make any difference?
- To what? To me?
1222
01:33:50,440 --> 01:33:54,819
At least you lied, and lying's good, isn't
it? We've established that. Lying works.
1223
01:33:56,613 --> 01:33:58,948
You ought to learn to do it properly.
1224
01:34:03,202 --> 01:34:05,580
Anybody else,
I'd say we could have a drink.
1225
01:34:09,709 --> 01:34:13,755
Is that a euphemism - a drink?
1226
01:34:15,048 --> 01:34:19,093
Saying "a drink" when you
actually mean something else?
1227
01:34:19,177 --> 01:34:22,597
- It is, yeah.
- Actually, forget the euphemism.
1228
01:34:25,099 --> 01:34:29,312
I'm just kicking the tires on this one,
but further to the drink...
1229
01:34:29,395 --> 01:34:34,192
What I was really wondering was,
is there any chance of your sucking me off?
1230
01:34:38,112 --> 01:34:40,114
Or something similar.
1231
01:34:42,450 --> 01:34:45,078
Actually, that would please Hector.
1232
01:34:45,954 --> 01:34:48,706
- What?
- "Your sucking me off."
1233
01:34:49,624 --> 01:34:51,626
It's a gerund. He likes gerunds.
1234
01:34:53,294 --> 01:34:57,548
And "your being scared shitless",
that's another gerund.
1235
01:35:00,134 --> 01:35:03,263
- I didn't know you were that way inclined.
- I'm not.
1236
01:35:03,346 --> 01:35:08,643
But it's the end of term, I've got into
Oxford. I thought we might push the boat out.
1237
01:35:15,191 --> 01:35:18,069
Anyway, I'll leave it on the table.
1238
01:35:20,280 --> 01:35:22,865
I don't understand this.
1239
01:35:23,992 --> 01:35:27,578
Reckless, impulsive, immoral.
1240
01:35:27,662 --> 01:35:32,709
How come there's such a difference between
the way you teach and the way you live?
1241
01:35:32,792 --> 01:35:37,422
Why are you so bold in argument and
talking, but when it comes to the point...
1242
01:35:38,464 --> 01:35:44,304
when it's something that's actually happening
- I mean, now you're so fucking careful.
1243
01:35:45,430 --> 01:35:47,557
Is it because
you're a teacher and I'm a boy?
1244
01:35:47,640 --> 01:35:51,394
- Obviously that.
- Well, why? Who cares? I don't.
1245
01:35:51,477 --> 01:35:53,688
You've already had one master touch you up.
1246
01:35:53,771 --> 01:35:58,067
Is that what it is?
It's that you don't want to be like Hector?
1247
01:35:59,193 --> 01:36:02,780
Well, you won't be.
You can't be. How could you be?
1248
01:36:02,864 --> 01:36:05,325
- Hector's a joke.
- He isn't, you see. He isn't.
1249
01:36:05,408 --> 01:36:07,535
- That side of him is.
- Dakin.
1250
01:36:10,079 --> 01:36:15,084
- All right. Let's go for a drink.
- Don't take out your sodding diary.
1251
01:36:15,168 --> 01:36:17,128
- Maybe next week...
- Next week?
1252
01:36:17,211 --> 01:36:19,964
Get this, man -
"You can suck me off next week."
1253
01:36:20,048 --> 01:36:23,051
I've heard of a crowded schedule,
but this is ridiculous.
1254
01:36:23,134 --> 01:36:25,303
God, we've got a long way to go.
1255
01:36:28,473 --> 01:36:32,018
- Do you ever take your glasses off?
- Why?
1256
01:36:32,101 --> 01:36:35,438
- It's a start.
- Not with me.
1257
01:36:35,521 --> 01:36:38,191
Taking off my glasses
is the last thing I do.
1258
01:36:38,274 --> 01:36:41,611
Yeah? I'll look forward to it.
1259
01:36:43,363 --> 01:36:45,740
What do you do on Sunday afternoons?
1260
01:36:47,158 --> 01:36:49,661
What are you doing
this Sunday afternoon?
1261
01:36:49,744 --> 01:36:52,497
I was going to go through
the accounts of Roche Abbey.
1262
01:36:52,580 --> 01:36:57,293
It's a... it's a Cistercian house.
It's just to the south of Doncaster.
1263
01:37:00,672 --> 01:37:02,882
Only, I think I've just had a better offer.
1264
01:37:02,966 --> 01:37:05,260
I think you have.
1265
01:37:10,640 --> 01:37:14,394
And we're not
in the subjunctive any more, either.
1266
01:37:16,145 --> 01:37:18,856
It's going to happen.
1267
01:37:23,403 --> 01:37:25,571
I just wanted to say thank you.
1268
01:37:25,655 --> 01:37:30,910
So? Give him a subscription
to The Spectator or a box of Black Magic!
1269
01:37:30,994 --> 01:37:32,578
Just cos you got a scholarship
1270
01:37:32,662 --> 01:37:36,874
doesn't mean you've got to give him
unfettered access to your dick!
1271
01:37:36,958 --> 01:37:42,797
- Well, how would you say thank you?
- On my knees probably, same as you.
1272
01:37:42,880 --> 01:37:45,675
I shall want a full report.
1273
01:37:46,467 --> 01:37:48,678
- Are you jealous?
- No!
1274
01:37:48,761 --> 01:37:51,556
- You're jealous, aren't you?
- No, not of the sex.
1275
01:37:51,639 --> 01:37:55,310
Just... of your being up for it.
1276
01:37:55,393 --> 01:37:58,855
- Me, erm...
- Oh, write it down.
1277
01:38:04,944 --> 01:38:08,072
- Wish me luck.
- What for?
1278
01:38:08,906 --> 01:38:10,992
What for?
1279
01:38:13,536 --> 01:38:15,872
Dakin? Can I help you?
1280
01:38:19,000 --> 01:38:23,463
I've never known such impertinence! Your
scholarship seems to have gone to your head.
1281
01:38:23,546 --> 01:38:26,215
- The point I'm making...
- I know the point.
1282
01:38:26,299 --> 01:38:31,554
I'm just curious, sir. What's the difference
between Mr. Hector touching us up on the bike
1283
01:38:31,638 --> 01:38:34,474
and your feeling up Fiona?
1284
01:38:34,557 --> 01:38:36,684
A comparable situation historically
1285
01:38:36,768 --> 01:38:39,312
would be the dismissal
of Cardinal Wolsey.
1286
01:38:39,395 --> 01:38:42,941
Don't give me
that Cardinal Wolsey shit.
1287
01:38:49,197 --> 01:38:50,865
Who else knows about this?
1288
01:38:50,949 --> 01:38:55,620
Fiona. Erm... Miss Procter.
Mr. Hector to my study, please.
1289
01:39:01,459 --> 01:39:04,504
- I might try the army.
- You? You're a shambles!
1290
01:39:04,587 --> 01:39:09,425
- They put you through college, pay your fees.
- Provided you kill people afterwards.
1291
01:39:09,509 --> 01:39:11,970
We won't go to war again.
Who's there to fight?
1292
01:39:12,053 --> 01:39:15,598
I don't know about a career. I've got
to get fucking out of the way first!
1293
01:39:15,682 --> 01:39:17,308
- That goes on.
- Or doesn't.
1294
01:39:17,392 --> 01:39:20,770
Now look, everybody.
This is known as Posner's reward.
1295
01:39:26,901 --> 01:39:30,321
Is that it? The longed-for moment?
1296
01:39:30,405 --> 01:39:33,783
- Well, what's wrong with it?
- It's too fucking brief.
1297
01:39:33,866 --> 01:39:37,453
I was looking for something
more... lingering.
1298
01:39:37,537 --> 01:39:39,914
Go on, Stu, go on!
1299
01:39:39,998 --> 01:39:41,749
Come on, come on!
1300
01:39:48,840 --> 01:39:50,925
And what's this? Hector's reward?
1301
01:39:51,009 --> 01:39:53,845
It's only polite. Just for old times' sake.
1302
01:39:53,928 --> 01:39:57,849
- Just don't let him go
past the lollipop lady.
1303
01:40:02,145 --> 01:40:04,022
Ready, sir?
1304
01:40:04,105 --> 01:40:07,442
- Oh, Dakin.
- Think of it as a gesture, sir.
1305
01:40:07,525 --> 01:40:10,486
But I'm not leaving.
I'm coming back next year.
1306
01:40:10,570 --> 01:40:12,905
That's brilliant!
1307
01:40:15,325 --> 01:40:18,578
A boy in a motorcycle helmet? Dakin!
1308
01:40:18,661 --> 01:40:21,664
No! No-no-no-no!
Under no circumstances.
1309
01:40:21,748 --> 01:40:24,083
Hector, I thought
I'd made this plain.
1310
01:40:24,167 --> 01:40:27,712
Take... somebody else.
1311
01:40:27,795 --> 01:40:30,632
Take... take Irwin.
1312
01:40:31,382 --> 01:40:33,551
- Irwin?
- Sure. Why not?
1313
01:40:38,014 --> 01:40:40,808
Do you want my
Tudor Economic Documents?
1314
01:40:40,892 --> 01:40:44,604
Fuck off. Fuck right off!
1315
01:41:25,770 --> 01:41:29,941
"How does history happen?"
I asked Irwin.
1316
01:41:31,609 --> 01:41:33,820
And he couldn't answer.
1317
01:41:35,154 --> 01:41:39,409
But now he knew. Nothing special.
1318
01:41:40,743 --> 01:41:45,039
Skid on a corner. Ordinary stuff.
1319
01:41:48,793 --> 01:41:51,879
Irwin had never been
on the back of a bike before, so...
1320
01:41:51,963 --> 01:41:57,594
maybe going around the corner he leaned out
instead of in and so unbalanced Hector.
1321
01:41:59,095 --> 01:42:02,849
Trust him to lean the opposite way
to everyone else.
1322
01:42:02,932 --> 01:42:05,518
But he had no memory
of what caused it.
1323
01:42:05,602 --> 01:42:09,439
I suppose the last thing he remembered
was me asking him out for a drink.
1324
01:42:10,648 --> 01:42:13,401
Something we never did, incidentally.
1325
01:42:13,484 --> 01:42:16,112
Still, at least I asked him.
1326
01:42:16,195 --> 01:42:19,073
And, barring accidents,
it would have happened.
1327
01:42:19,157 --> 01:42:24,120
Listen. There is no "barring accidents".
It's what I said.
1328
01:42:24,203 --> 01:42:27,248
History is just one
fucking thing after another.
1329
01:43:22,345 --> 01:43:25,431
If I speak of Hector,
1330
01:43:25,515 --> 01:43:31,354
it is of enthusiasm shared,
passion conveyed
1331
01:43:31,437 --> 01:43:34,899
and seeds sown of future harvest.
1332
01:43:36,317 --> 01:43:42,156
He loved language. He loved words.
1333
01:43:42,824 --> 01:43:45,868
For each and every one
of you, his pupils,
1334
01:43:45,952 --> 01:43:52,750
he opened a deposit account
in the bank of literature
1335
01:43:52,834 --> 01:43:59,757
and made you all shareholders
in that wonderful world of words.
1336
01:44:09,017 --> 01:44:11,894
Will they come to my funeral,
I wonder?
1337
01:44:11,978 --> 01:44:14,230
And what will they be?
1338
01:44:14,314 --> 01:44:16,065
Akhtar, what are you?
1339
01:44:16,149 --> 01:44:19,819
A headmaster, Miss.
In Keighley, near Bradford.
1340
01:44:19,902 --> 01:44:23,114
One of you is a magistrate, I know.
1341
01:44:24,282 --> 01:44:27,577
- And, Timms, what are you?
- Chain of dry-cleaners, Miss.
1342
01:44:27,660 --> 01:44:29,787
And I take drugs at the weekend.
1343
01:44:30,496 --> 01:44:33,666
- And are you all happy?
1344
01:44:33,750 --> 01:44:36,085
Kids don't help, though, Miss.
1345
01:44:36,169 --> 01:44:39,005
Dakin, you're happy, I'm sure.
1346
01:44:39,088 --> 01:44:42,967
Of course I'm happy.
I'm a tax lawyer. Money's incredible.
1347
01:44:43,051 --> 01:44:44,636
For fuck's sake!
1348
01:44:46,095 --> 01:44:49,223
Despite knowing,
along with Wittgenstein,
1349
01:44:49,307 --> 01:44:52,310
that the world is
everything that is the case,
1350
01:44:52,393 --> 01:44:57,523
Lieutenant James Lockwood of the First
Battalion York and Lancaster Regiment,
1351
01:44:57,607 --> 01:45:00,151
is wounded by friendly fire
1352
01:45:00,234 --> 01:45:02,737
and dies on his way to hospital.
1353
01:45:04,364 --> 01:45:06,741
He is 28.
1354
01:45:06,824 --> 01:45:09,953
Understand everything is to forgive everything.
1355
01:45:10,036 --> 01:45:13,873
- Rudge, I'd forgotten you.
- As usual, Miss.
1356
01:45:13,957 --> 01:45:17,752
You're a builder.
Carpeting the Dales in handy homes.
1357
01:45:17,835 --> 01:45:21,756
Rudge homes are at least affordable homes
for the first-time buyer.
1358
01:45:23,091 --> 01:45:25,260
I take wives around the showhouse.
1359
01:45:26,344 --> 01:45:30,640
I tell them I was at Oxford.
I get fucks galore.
1360
01:45:31,140 --> 01:45:35,937
There is one journalist,
though on a better class of paper -
1361
01:45:36,020 --> 01:45:41,025
a career he's always threatening to abandon
in order, as he puts it, "really to write".
1362
01:45:41,109 --> 01:45:43,194
Hector always
said I was a journalist.
1363
01:45:43,278 --> 01:45:47,490
And so you were. School was just
an apprenticeship for television.
1364
01:45:48,074 --> 01:45:52,203
I enjoy your programmes, but they're
more... journalism than history.
1365
01:45:54,038 --> 01:45:56,124
But of all Hector's boys,
1366
01:45:56,207 --> 01:46:00,545
there is only one
who truly took everything to heart,
1367
01:46:00,628 --> 01:46:03,506
remembers everything
he was ever taught.
1368
01:46:03,590 --> 01:46:08,303
The songs, the poems,
the sayings, the endings.
1369
01:46:09,846 --> 01:46:12,140
The words of Hector never forgotten.
1370
01:46:13,266 --> 01:46:17,228
Slightly to my surprise,
I've ended up, like you, a teacher.
1371
01:46:17,312 --> 01:46:21,899
I'm a bit of a stock figure.
I do a wonderful school play, for instance.
1372
01:46:23,067 --> 01:46:27,780
And though I never touch the boys,
it's always a struggle.
1373
01:46:29,157 --> 01:46:31,492
But maybe that's why
I'm a good teacher.
1374
01:46:32,368 --> 01:46:37,206
I'm not happy,
but I'm not unhappy about it.
1375
01:46:42,545 --> 01:46:44,756
He was a good man.
1376
01:46:44,839 --> 01:46:48,092
But I don't think there's time
for his kind of teaching any more.
1377
01:46:48,176 --> 01:46:53,598
No. Love apart, it is
the only education worth having.
1378
01:47:00,688 --> 01:47:06,194
Pass the parcel.
That's sometimes all you can do.
1379
01:47:06,277 --> 01:47:09,572
Take it, feel it, and pass it on.
1380
01:47:10,698 --> 01:47:13,910
Pass it on, boys -
that's the game I want you to learn.
1381
01:47:13,993 --> 01:47:16,079
Pass it on.