1 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,896 Have you ever been through something 2 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:23,900 and you don't know what just happened, 3 00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:27,820 but you know it was important to go through? 4 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:31,365 This is that journey for me. 5 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,725 Misogynist ranting would be at home 6 00:00:57,934 --> 00:00:59,685 in the far reaching Internet subculture 7 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,730 widely described as the men's rights movement... 8 00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:06,859 A toxic distillation of the worst aspects of American sexism. 9 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:09,987 It's a universe of message boards where men get together 10 00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:13,533 to express their hatred towards women. 11 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,826 Well, 1 thought men had all of the adv ant ages 12 00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,078 in the world these days? 13 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,788 That's utter nonsense. 14 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,036 Men are routinely ground up in a family court system 15 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,167 that is misandrist and biased against them. 16 00:01:23,376 --> 00:01:25,002 They are the majority of the homeless. 17 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,796 They are the majority of suicides. 18 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,839 They are majority of the drug addicted. 19 00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:30,675 They are the majority of the unemployed. 20 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,486 They are majority of the school drop outs. 21 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,150 They are the majority of those in prison... 22 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:36,705 How do we know that they're not the cause of these problems? 23 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,517 There's a reason that women live longer, mark, let me tell you. 24 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,394 It is because we are stronger 25 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,272 and we are happier at the end of the day than most men, 26 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,274 and that is factual and you know it. 27 00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:48,562 And when men are married to women who scream like you 28 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:49,986 they just want to die sooner. 29 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,154 - I'm not screaming. - When you have... 30 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,163 A voice for men... 31 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:04,792 An online hub for men's rights actmsts. 32 00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:08,921 They were founded by a man named Paul elam. 33 00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,757 It's a website called “ a voice for men“ 34 00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:14,427 that's run by a man named Paul elam... 35 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,095 Which is "male" spelled backwards, 36 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,806 but it is his real name apparently. 37 00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:21,809 It's a gathering of women haters. 38 00:02:22,018 --> 00:02:24,687 This Southern poverty law center has classified that group 39 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,939 and men's rights groups as hate groups. 40 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:31,277 He wrote a piece 41 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,237 declaring the month of October 42 00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:37,199 to be "bash a violent bitch" month. 43 00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:39,827 "I mean, literally to grab them by the hair, 44 00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:42,830 and smack their face against the wall," he wrote. 45 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:00,973 Here he is. 46 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:24,038 You may be wondering why I'm sitting in a car 47 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:28,000 with notorious men's rights actmst Paul elam. 48 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,794 That's a valid question. 49 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,170 And to answer it, 50 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,756 I need to start at the beginning... 51 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:38,177 The beginning of how i became a feminist. 52 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,222 1 was a quiet kid, preferring to observe from afar. 53 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,973 My mom put me in theater classes 54 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,342 when I was eight years old to break me out of my shell, 55 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,560 and I loved it, 56 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,437 so much to the point that I decided 57 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,481 to move to Hollywood when I was 18 years old 58 00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:52,149 to become an actress. 59 00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:54,610 What I wasn't prepared for was to be pigeonholed 60 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:56,070 as the blonde who always died. 61 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,613 Billy? 62 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,706 Granted, i had a good scream. 63 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,290 But the characters I played 64 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,710 weren't alone in feeling objectified. 65 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,438 I was commonly harassed on the streets, 66 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,422 hit on by married producers, 67 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,965 told by photographers to come back 68 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,592 when I lost 15 pounds and got a boob job, 69 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,846 and a plethora of other uncomfortable experiences, 70 00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:24,890 all while still being a teenager. 71 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,268 I started to realize my role in the world 72 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:31,439 seemed a little too similar to the unfortunate roles 1 was audittoning for, 73 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:33,399 and it was not how I saw myself 74 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,277 or the person that I wanted to be. 75 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:40,114 So I quit acting and bought a video camera 76 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,242 to tell the stories i wanted to tell, 77 00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:46,746 and now I've been making documentary films since 2008 78 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,665 when I was 21 years old. 79 00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:53,669 Most of my work has been about women's issues and sexuality. 80 00:04:53,878 --> 00:04:55,038 I've covered a range of topics 81 00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:57,465 from the phenomenon of purity balls, 82 00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,884 to reproductive rights, 83 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,927 single motherhood, 84 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,180 and lgbt rights. 85 00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:08,559 After releasing my film in 2012 about marriage equality, 86 00:05:08,768 --> 00:05:12,188 I was at a loss of what topic to explore next, 87 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:15,900 and that's when two horrific stories broke the news. 88 00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:21,238 Two star high school football players 89 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,365 in steubenville, Ohio, 90 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:25,910 have been found guilty of raping a West Virginia teenager. 91 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,832 The video shows the former steubenville student 92 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,293 callously joking about the incident. 93 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,378 That's like rape. It is rape. 94 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,464 - Bro. - They raped her. 95 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,924 - Bro. - They raped her. 96 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,718 - This is the funniest... - They raped her. 97 00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:45,805 Outrage across India as a 23-year-old woman, 98 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,474 the victim of one of the most horrific rapes 99 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,601 India has ever heard of. 100 00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,895 A 90-minute horror for a 23-year-old 101 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,022 medicine student on this bus. 102 00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:56,982 Gang raped and beaten, 103 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,652 her friend assaulted and thrown out of the bus... 104 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,030 Every day, every woman is facing violence on the streets. 105 00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:04,824 People are scared... 106 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,368 I started to research this rape culture. 107 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:17,127 A website called a voice for men popped up. 108 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:19,922 Paul elam wrote about how women long 109 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,424 to live out their rape fantasies, 110 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:25,719 to be taken by a man she's never spoken to, 111 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:28,138 let alone given consent to. 112 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:31,100 As 1 read, i was asking myself, 113 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,645 is this the rape apologist that I've been hearing about? 114 00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:37,356 The victim blamer who perpetuates rape culture? 115 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,778 I continued to read a voice for men's website, 116 00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:44,780 often stopping around the half-way mark 117 00:06:44,989 --> 00:06:47,157 in every article, because I could only read 118 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,201 so many "bitch," "fuck," "feminazi," 119 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:51,036 and "rapetard" words per minute. 120 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,749 But even still, i kept reading, 121 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,878 and thinking, and reading some more. 122 00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,675 I was trying to understand how these, 123 00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:07,011 what I perceived to be women haters, 124 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,762 could have so many followers. 125 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:24,236 So I decided to meet these mras... 126 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,826 The ones leading the movement, 127 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:32,661 and some of their followers, too... 128 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,336 And this begins my journey 129 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,171 down the rabbit hole. 130 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:58,729 This, ladies and gentlemen, 131 00:07:58,938 --> 00:08:01,357 is an historic moment. 132 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:06,737 Never before has there been a gathering of this magnitude 133 00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:11,116 to support men's and boy's issues. 134 00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:16,664 We have got serious problems. 135 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,415 I have been working in this area, 136 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,335 advocating for the rights of... 137 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:24,046 Mra! Go away! 138 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,385 And here we go. 139 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,766 What you'll hear is that we hate women. 140 00:08:35,975 --> 00:08:39,478 You'll hear that it's a backlash against women's rights. 141 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:42,564 You'll hear that we're regressives that want women back in the kitchen 142 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,901 and making sandwiches and barefoot and pregnant. 143 00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:47,470 You're just bitter, you're a loser, 144 00:08:47,653 --> 00:08:49,279 you're a whiner, you're ugly, 145 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:50,781 you're undesirable, you're lazy. 146 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,783 You're scary, you must be a racist, 147 00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:53,992 you must be a misogynist. 148 00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:56,537 When we do speak out, 149 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,541 women often don't want to hear what we have to say, 150 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,043 and so then we're called names. 151 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,421 We're called whiners. 152 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,716 And this is the way people who don't want men to talk about issues 153 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,467 try to shut us up. 154 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,805 Um, we all know that you guys 155 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:18,809 are a fascist Nazi front group of white supremacists, 156 00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:20,686 no other way to openly organize 157 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,689 other than calling yourselves a men's rights group. 158 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,941 Yeah! 159 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,003 "We're somehow disempowered because we're white men." 160 00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:29,653 Maybe it's just because you're pathetic. 161 00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:32,322 We're here to fight how misogynistic assholes 162 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,211 think they have the right to oppress women. 163 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,618 White men are starting to feel misplaced 164 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,038 because women are sharing space. 165 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,999 It's disgusting, and just grow the fuck up 166 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,543 and don't confuse suffrage with oppression. 167 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,087 Everyone suffers. It's universal. 168 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,923 I am a man and I need feminism. 169 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:51,967 We're feminists'. We're fabulous'.! 170 00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:54,261 We're here! We're queer! 171 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,764 And it is crystal clear 172 00:09:56,972 --> 00:10:00,059 that the problems for men and boys are real. 173 00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,087 I would like to turn the microphone 174 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:08,650 over to Paul elam of a voice for men 175 00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,235 for some words. 176 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,576 Whoo! 177 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,995 This is a historic day. 178 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:22,456 I've never seen a gathering like this 179 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:26,835 out of concern for the general state of affairs 180 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,754 for men and boys in this culture. 181 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:33,509 Trying to articulate the entire platform 182 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,177 of the men's rights movement 183 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,305 is kinda like trying to understand a snow drift 184 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:40,516 one snowflake at a time. 185 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,352 It's a very, very complicated matter. 186 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,104 Just consider this, 187 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:50,651 that 93% of workplace fatalities are men. 188 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,946 Four of five suicides are men. 189 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,449 Men are dropping out of higher education 190 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,535 at very alarming rates. 191 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:03,872 We're down to 38% now of college students are men, 192 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,542 and it's dropping rapidly. 193 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:10,087 Male suicide, male abuse, male unemployment, 194 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:13,340 male homelessness, male failure in education, 195 00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:14,925 male health issues. 196 00:11:15,134 --> 00:11:17,136 You got the paternity front issue, 197 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,012 and the wrongful paternity issue, 198 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:21,932 the false allegation issue. 199 00:11:22,141 --> 00:11:26,520 Men are sentenced to 63% more prison time 200 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,939 for the same crime as women. 201 00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:31,608 They're less likely to see a doctor. 202 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:34,069 They're less likely to have health insurance. 203 00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:37,197 The family court system truly is biased against men. 204 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,004 I mean, there's just no question about it. 205 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,493 It's really the pro choice for women only movement, 206 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,955 because men... they're denying men any kind of choice 207 00:11:45,164 --> 00:11:46,248 once a child is conceived. 208 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,543 Her body, her choice, right? 209 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,086 Think about men. 210 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:54,047 His body, his choice? Not so much. 211 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,382 Because the U.S. government 212 00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:56,967 does not want to send you to die. 213 00:11:57,176 --> 00:12:00,095 It would rather send me to die. 214 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:02,306 Young men that are fatltng to launch. 215 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,641 They're staying in their homes of origin 216 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,394 far past the time that we would normally expect them 217 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,021 to indmduate and move out 218 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,856 and go live their lives. 219 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,566 We have video game addiction. 220 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:13,984 We have pornography addiction. 221 00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,987 We have the abuse of young boys 222 00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:19,281 with drugs like ritalin to manage their behavior. 223 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,782 Almost all victims 224 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,368 of autism spectrum disorders are boys. 225 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,829 Boys are most likely to be homeless, 226 00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:27,456 most likely to get cancer, 227 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,375 most likely to die young of every major cause, 228 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,711 most likely to be arrested, prosecuted, 229 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,463 imprisoned, and even executed 230 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,048 while being completely innocent. 231 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,508 It doesn't matter what their race is. 232 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,510 It doesn't matter what their ethnicity is. 233 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,429 It doesn't matter what their religious 234 00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,223 or non-religious views are. 235 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,059 It doesn't matter if they're gay or straight. 236 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,728 Men and boys are in crisis 237 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,231 and they need your help and they need your support 238 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,234 because they are human beings, too, 239 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,278 and you will not shame me or anybody here 240 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:01,114 into silence about it anymore. 241 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,497 But if you start to talk about those issues 242 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:11,458 and address them in terms of how they affect 243 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,377 men and boys as a group, 244 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,213 people get hostile about it. 245 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:20,133 The idea is that men have all the rights. 246 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:21,969 They've always had the power. 247 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,263 But if that's true, 248 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,890 why can't men talk about their problems? 249 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:28,475 And that's what really got me 250 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:30,811 interested in this to begin with. 251 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,859 [3 ayet shortly after 1 began filming men's rights actmsts, 252 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:42,406 I realized my own views were being challenged. 253 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,826 I kept a video diary throughout filming, 254 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,953 and I've decided to share 255 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,039 some of those diaries with you. 256 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:54,459 I really do feel like learning about the men's movement 257 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,295 and their specific issues, 258 00:13:56,503 --> 00:14:00,299 the issues that they have issue with, 259 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,885 it's hard for me to completely understand them 260 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,888 and... 261 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:09,349 Just automatically feel welcome 262 00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,244 in that space of talking about these issues. 263 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:12,811 Because at least with feminism, 264 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,521 whenever I heard about the issues 265 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,356 that feminists were fighting against, 266 00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:19,776 I always felt like I had something to draw from 267 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,654 in experience to be on board with that. 268 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,407 And that's always been why I've been drawn 269 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,700 to the feminist movement, 270 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,660 is because a lot of what they spoke about 271 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,329 I had personal experiences with. 272 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,747 And with the men's movement, 273 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,207 I have very little personal experiences 274 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,959 with the issues that they talk about. 275 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:51,600 A cab driver who is drmng a cab 70 hours a week 276 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,353 was not saying, "i am earning this money 277 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,605 to have power over my wife." 278 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,565 He was earning this money 279 00:14:58,774 --> 00:15:01,068 even though it took power away from his life. 280 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:04,654 He was doing that so his child wouldn't have to drive that cab. 281 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,702 The garbage collector does not 282 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,305 get up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning 283 00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:13,580 in rain and sleet and snow 284 00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:16,166 and get out to do the garbage 285 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:18,335 so he can have more power over his wife. 286 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,921 That's power he's losing over his life 287 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,298 in order to make his contribution, 288 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,842 his sacrifice, his way of loving. 289 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:30,180 And this has been translated into the culture of 290 00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,599 "you make more money than women do, 291 00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:35,894 you must therefore have more power." 292 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,604 Meet Warren Farrell, 293 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:38,980 best-selling author 294 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,566 and self-styled social anthropologist, 295 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:46,947 leading an assault on our traditional thinking about men. 296 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,490 I asked my girlfriend at the time 297 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,575 to buy me as a gift, 298 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,504 I think it was for Christmas or my birthday, 299 00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:55,038 Warren Farrell's book "the myth of male power," 300 00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:59,042 which she did, and it just changed my whole life. 301 00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:04,214 And his premise was while women are often seen as sex objects, 302 00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:08,218 men are often seen as success objects. 303 00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:10,512 And this resonated with me. 304 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,474 He wrote this book that questioned our notions of power, 305 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,102 of who had power and where it was, 306 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,855 and it questioned the roles of men, 307 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:22,441 but not the way feminists 308 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,652 had always questioned gender roles. 309 00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:28,113 Every society that survived 310 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,407 survived based on its ability 311 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,994 to train its sons to be disposable... 312 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:37,038 Disposable in war as warriors, 313 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,499 disposable in work as firefighters, 314 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:44,045 as workers on oil rigs and so on, coal miners, 315 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,715 and indirectly, therefore disposable as dads. 316 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,527 What happens in men's life 317 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,696 when they're raised that they're worthless 318 00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,156 unless they're a provider, 319 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,074 that they must work even if they have 320 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,868 to take on extremely dangerous work, 321 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,246 they must get this done or they're useless as men? 322 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,832 That is very, very powerful stuff. 323 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,627 See, feminism did see accurately 324 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,921 that we value male work 325 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,840 more than we value female work. 326 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,927 But there's also the issue 327 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,012 that we value female life 328 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,805 more than we value male life. 329 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,877 Even when that plane went down in New York City 330 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,504 a few years ago and, you know, 331 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,005 the pilot was a hero 332 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:11,054 for the way he landed it and saved everybody... 333 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,802 Word arrived over the city-wide fire frequency 334 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,346 that a commercial jet liner was in the water 335 00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:19,349 with 155 people on board. 336 00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,351 Then, over the next few minutes, 337 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,895 the doors opened, life vests were inflated, 338 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,147 and, women and children first, 339 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,983 everyone got off that plane. 340 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,693 They saved all the women first. 341 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,821 That's still... when I went on a cruise, you know, 342 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:35,615 there's still women into the life boats first. 343 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,826 Not because you're a man 344 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:41,788 so you should be able to swim halfway across the ocean, 345 00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,124 but because you're a man you're expendable. 346 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,588 We have to look at not just the glass ceilings, 347 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,256 but also the glass cellars. 348 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,341 And, Paul, i think as you were saying, 349 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,802 we have to look at men just not only as human doings, 350 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,387 but also as human beings. 351 00:18:57,596 --> 00:19:00,056 When you survive because somebody else is willing to die 352 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:01,808 like in war, 353 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:04,686 then that... You're immune to the pain 354 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,229 of the people who are dying 355 00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:08,023 because you have an investment 356 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,566 in their being willing to die. 357 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,777 You say, "1 will build a statue. 358 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,904 I will remember you in a history book." 359 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:17,033 But if you look at that from another perspective, 360 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,742 that building of the statue 361 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,177 or remembering you in a history book 362 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:23,830 is a bribe to be willing to die 363 00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:25,957 so that I can live. 364 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:33,840 Both sexes in the area where they are rejected 365 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:37,469 tend to turn what rejects them into an object. 366 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,513 So the area where men... 367 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,850 I'm watching this, um, lecture 368 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:47,020 that Warren Farrell's gmng in the '90s. 369 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,605 I see some women in the crowd, 370 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,815 and a lot of them have their hands folded, 371 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,819 and there is a little bit of... 372 00:19:57,197 --> 00:20:00,200 Uncomfortableness... 373 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:01,993 By being a woman 374 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,037 in a crowd of people 375 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:08,458 while the speaker's talking about how men are oppressed 376 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:11,586 and women have it so great. 377 00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:17,258 It kinda puts you on the defensive, as a woman. 378 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:20,679 And understanding that I feel that way 379 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,764 makes me wonder 380 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:27,435 are men having their arms crossed 381 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,437 listening to a feminist speaker 382 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,189 talk about how men have all the power 383 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,441 and women are oppressed? 384 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:37,070 Are men feeling like, 385 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,114 "what are you talking about? 386 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,284 I don't have power, and we have it pretty shitty 387 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,036 on this side of the grass, too"? 388 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,639 Women hold up half the sky! 389 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,641 Women hold up half the sky! 390 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,810 Women hold up half the sky! 391 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,311 Women hold up half the sky! 392 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,147 Fuck Warren Farrell! 393 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,732 Fuck Warren Farrell! 394 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,442 Fuck Warren Farrell! 395 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,152 Fuck Warren Farrell! 396 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,737 Fuck Warren Farrell! 397 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,488 Fuck Warren Farrell! 398 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,073 Fuck Warren Farrell! 399 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,743 In 2012, Dr. Warren Farrell 400 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,745 was speaking on behalf of men's issues 401 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,914 at the university of Toronto in Canada. 402 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:35,962 A feminist group protested the event. 403 00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:37,547 be fucking ashamed of yourself. 404 00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:41,342 You're fucking scum. You are fucking scum. 405 00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:42,886 Fucking rape apologist, 406 00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:46,931 incest-supporting, woman-hating fucking scum. 407 00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:52,702 You're fucking scum. Yeah, just another... 408 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:59,360 You know what, though? Why would you pay money 409 00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:01,279 to fucking support a fucking rape apologist 410 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:02,906 if you weren't fucking one? 411 00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:04,616 I never heard him saying... 412 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,494 Well, it... Fucking scum! 413 00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,373 Who do you serve? Who do you protect? 414 00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,168 Who do you serve? Who do you protect? 415 00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:17,253 No! Fuck! They're fucking scum! 416 00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:18,546 Fuck you! 417 00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:21,800 Fuck you! 418 00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:24,302 Get a real fucking job. 419 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:26,387 Get out of here. 420 00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:38,483 This is what men's rights look like'.! 421 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,944 This is what men's rights look like! 422 00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:43,488 This is what men's rights look like! 423 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,282 This is what men's rights look like! 424 00:22:46,491 --> 00:22:48,910 This is what men's rights look like! 425 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:51,663 This is what men's rights look like! 426 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,374 This is what men's rights look like! 427 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:26,197 - Hi. How are you? - Warren, I'm Cassie. 428 00:23:26,406 --> 00:23:28,867 You' re Cassie? Oh, for some reason 1 thought you were a male. 429 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,995 I'm just delighted that you're a female. 430 00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:33,663 Well, thank you. 431 00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:35,456 Very glad to meet you. Come on in. 432 00:23:35,665 --> 00:23:37,667 - Thank you. - Thank you. 433 00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:39,961 But Farrell wasn't always so attentive to men. 434 00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:44,465 In fact, for years, he focused almost exclusively on women's issues, 435 00:23:44,674 --> 00:23:46,194 rubbing shoulders with feminist leaders 436 00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:47,802 like Gloria steinem. 437 00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:50,013 And he's still a card-carrying member 438 00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:52,974 of the national organization for women. 439 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:55,810 I believe that women cannot hear 440 00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:58,021 what men do not say. 441 00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:00,523 And he's got a lot to say to both men and women 442 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:02,066 in his provocative new book, 443 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:04,485 "the myth of male power." 444 00:24:04,694 --> 00:24:06,863 I was making a very significant 445 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:08,865 amount of money speaking around the world 446 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,326 on behalf of women's issues alone. 447 00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:13,536 I went through a period of forming men's groups. 448 00:24:13,745 --> 00:24:15,371 And then when I listened to them, 449 00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:17,540 I thought, "well, gee, this will be really helpful 450 00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:19,751 to present to audiences so that they can understand 451 00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,711 not only women's side, but men's side, too, 452 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,047 'cause I was really totally in the feminist's camp. 453 00:24:24,255 --> 00:24:27,342 And immediately I saw my standing ovations drop. 454 00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:29,278 I started hearing that there was people saying, 455 00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:32,555 "don't invite him there to speak with us." 456 00:24:32,764 --> 00:24:34,223 And pretty soon I had, you know, 457 00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:37,393 very few college and university speaking engagements. 458 00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:39,854 How did you originally get involved with feminism? 459 00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:41,564 Where did that all begin? 460 00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:43,191 I was doing my doctorate 461 00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:47,570 at political science at nyu in the late '60s, 462 00:24:47,779 --> 00:24:49,614 and the women's movement surfaced. 463 00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:02,168 And I started to say, 464 00:25:02,377 --> 00:25:05,004 "this is the most exciting thing I've ever heard." 465 00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:07,757 Because I'd heard of cml rights, gay rights, 466 00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:09,759 but suddenly women were saying, 467 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,761 "i don't wanna be confined to just being 468 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,554 a homemaker, a secretary." 469 00:25:13,763 --> 00:25:16,057 So it's like, "why shouldn't women be encouraged 470 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:17,892 to do everything they possibly can do?" 471 00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:19,268 And at that point in time, 472 00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:21,980 I saw a lot of women marrying men 473 00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:24,273 that they weren't completely in love with, 474 00:25:24,482 --> 00:25:27,777 but the man earned a fair amount. 475 00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:30,405 So I thought, that's just a form of prostitution 476 00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:31,948 extended over a lifetime. 477 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:33,992 How depressed that must make a woman. 478 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,761 And it's not gonna be good for a man either. 479 00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,912 He never knows whether he's loved for who he is 480 00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,288 or loved for what he has. 481 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:41,958 And he's afraid to give up producing 482 00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,002 because he's afraid to lose love. 483 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,045 And so women who were successful to me 484 00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:47,774 appeared to be women who would free men 485 00:25:47,922 --> 00:25:49,465 from having to be all, you know, 486 00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:51,968 wrapped up in just being the only bread winner, 487 00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:54,887 and supporting one, two, three, four, five people. 488 00:25:55,096 --> 00:25:57,098 It's one thing to support yourself. 489 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,058 When you're supporting five people, 490 00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:01,310 you don't have the freedom to question your boss, 491 00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:03,980 because you're supporting five people. 492 00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:09,068 The first issue of feminism 493 00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:12,488 was to say, "just because I'm a woman, 494 00:26:12,697 --> 00:26:15,616 maybe I don't wanna spend my life raising children." 495 00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:19,078 You know, "don't force me into that role against my will." 496 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,621 So they looked at men and said, 497 00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:21,932 "well, you're not forced to raise children. 498 00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:23,374 You don't have any issue. 499 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,019 But for men, the traditional sex role 500 00:26:25,043 --> 00:26:26,252 was not raising children. 501 00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:27,795 For us, the traditional sex role 502 00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:30,048 was to be a provider, a protector, 503 00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:33,051 and to initiate relationships. 504 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:35,303 Each of us has traditional sex roles. 505 00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:37,388 Don't force us to carry out 506 00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:40,600 those traditional sex roles. 507 00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:44,270 We have the same rules set up for men 508 00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:46,647 that they've always lived by, 509 00:26:46,856 --> 00:26:49,692 that you need to protect and provide at any cost. 510 00:26:49,901 --> 00:26:53,821 But we've changed everything where it concerns women. 511 00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:55,448 They now have access 512 00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:58,701 to everything men have always had access to... 513 00:26:58,910 --> 00:27:03,289 To education, to work, to whatever they want to do, 514 00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:07,460 but they're not the ones drmng the semis 515 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,880 and they're not the ones in the coal mines. 516 00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:13,508 You don't hear the national organization for women 517 00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:17,887 complaining that there is just not enough female ditch diggers. 518 00:27:18,096 --> 00:27:20,807 It is still men carrying the lion's share 519 00:27:21,015 --> 00:27:25,311 for what it takes to operate and maintain this society, 520 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,563 and it is still the expectation 521 00:27:27,772 --> 00:27:29,612 that if somebody's gonna go down with the ship, 522 00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:31,442 it's gonna be men. 523 00:27:38,908 --> 00:27:42,703 Flexibility in roles is where we should be all headed. 524 00:27:42,912 --> 00:27:45,790 Any men's rights actmsts that I would support 525 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,417 would support the portions of the women's movement 526 00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:51,587 that is encouraging women 527 00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:54,257 to have more flexibility in roles. 528 00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:56,759 So where do the men's movement 529 00:27:56,968 --> 00:27:59,345 and feminism disagree? 530 00:27:59,554 --> 00:28:02,431 Well, only on the fundamental belief 531 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,226 that the women's movement 532 00:28:05,434 --> 00:28:07,979 says men are the oppressors, 533 00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:11,941 that they... we are involved in a patriarchal world 534 00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:17,363 in which men invented the rules to benefit men 535 00:28:17,572 --> 00:28:19,949 at the expense of women. 536 00:28:20,158 --> 00:28:23,035 But don't we live in a patriarchy, 537 00:28:23,244 --> 00:28:26,330 when most of the world's nations 538 00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:29,500 still have never had a female leader... 539 00:28:40,011 --> 00:28:42,388 And less than 5°/o of CEOs 540 00:28:42,597 --> 00:28:45,641 of fortune 500 companies are women? 541 00:28:49,103 --> 00:28:52,148 You have to look at this in a larger perspective. 542 00:28:52,356 --> 00:28:55,776 Patriarchy is the result of gender roles 543 00:28:55,985 --> 00:28:57,862 and not the vice versa. 544 00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:05,578 Traditionally, women's power and responsibility 545 00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:07,580 has been in the reproductive sphere, 546 00:29:07,788 --> 00:29:09,415 while men's power and responsibility 547 00:29:09,624 --> 00:29:11,959 was in the productive sphere. 548 00:29:12,168 --> 00:29:14,587 You know, you have to reproduce to continue the species, 549 00:29:14,795 --> 00:29:16,881 and you have to produce to feed people 550 00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:18,507 so that they can reproduce. 551 00:29:18,716 --> 00:29:20,426 So, you know, it's like they work together. 552 00:29:29,977 --> 00:29:32,521 And most cultures diwied up roles 553 00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:35,149 because women were responsible for childbirth 554 00:29:35,358 --> 00:29:37,276 and were more likely to breastfeed. 555 00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:38,861 They're not more likely to... 556 00:29:39,070 --> 00:29:40,905 They did the breastfeeding. 557 00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:44,158 They tended to be involved in the role of raising children. 558 00:29:44,367 --> 00:29:47,370 Men tended to be involved in the role of raising money 559 00:29:47,578 --> 00:29:49,622 or making a killing of the animals 560 00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,582 or making a killing in wall street. 561 00:29:51,832 --> 00:29:55,253 But those were our obligations. 562 00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:57,421 So that's why industry was male dominated 563 00:29:57,630 --> 00:29:59,048 and government was male dominated, 564 00:29:59,257 --> 00:30:00,925 'cause that was our job. 565 00:30:01,133 --> 00:30:03,135 So what we call patriarchy 566 00:30:03,344 --> 00:30:07,181 is men gmng in to the expected roles 567 00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:08,790 that they're supposed to give in to, 568 00:30:08,849 --> 00:30:10,489 and many of those roles are very harmful... 569 00:30:10,685 --> 00:30:14,230 Working exceptionally long hours, difficult hours, 570 00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:17,066 dangerous jobs, getting killed on a job... 571 00:30:17,275 --> 00:30:20,361 Even politics a lot of people describe as masochism. 572 00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:26,284 Imagine what it takes to be a successful politician. 573 00:30:26,492 --> 00:30:29,495 Imagine how much of your personal life that you give up, 574 00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:33,291 how much you work, how much privacy that you sacrifice, 575 00:30:33,541 --> 00:30:35,876 how much freedom in your day to day life 576 00:30:36,085 --> 00:30:37,503 that goes out the window. 577 00:30:37,712 --> 00:30:39,714 There are more men willing to do those things 578 00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:41,716 than there are women. 579 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,593 Oh, I think we got a pen for everybody. 580 00:30:44,802 --> 00:30:47,513 But also, just because men are the ones, 581 00:30:47,722 --> 00:30:50,891 for instance, writing the laws in general, 582 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:54,145 doesn't mean that the laws are protecting men. 583 00:30:54,353 --> 00:30:56,397 You hear about patriarchy, right? 584 00:30:56,605 --> 00:30:58,083 All the evils of the world is from patriarchy. 585 00:30:58,107 --> 00:31:01,319 But we're the ones dying, you know? 586 00:31:01,527 --> 00:31:03,112 And we die for you guys, you know? 587 00:31:03,321 --> 00:31:06,324 To protect our families, our friends. 588 00:31:06,532 --> 00:31:09,118 In every society that's ever existed, 589 00:31:09,327 --> 00:31:12,663 women have had prmlege and protection that men did not. 590 00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:17,335 For example, we never hear about how men were excluded 591 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:20,629 from the forced labor convention of 1930. 592 00:31:20,838 --> 00:31:22,923 For years, the forced labor convention 593 00:31:23,132 --> 00:31:26,510 was an international treaty that banned slavery, 594 00:31:26,719 --> 00:31:28,012 enforced servitude, 595 00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:29,347 but it made an exception 596 00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:33,100 for able-bodied males ages 18 to 45. 597 00:31:34,852 --> 00:31:37,355 Eventually, they got rid of that, 598 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:39,357 but there was still an exemption 599 00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:44,236 for prisoners and military, which is 90°/o male. 600 00:31:44,445 --> 00:31:48,949 Stop pretending that you're oppressed 601 00:31:49,158 --> 00:31:51,744 and men are your oppressors. 602 00:31:51,911 --> 00:31:54,372 It's a lie, and it's a hurtful lie, 603 00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,916 and it's a hateful lie, and it's wrong. 604 00:32:15,768 --> 00:32:18,396 You talk a lot about the red pill 605 00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:20,856 in a voice for men. What is the red pill? 606 00:32:21,065 --> 00:32:23,317 Oh, it's sort of a cultural slogan. 607 00:32:23,526 --> 00:32:26,237 It comes from the movie "the matrix" 608 00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:29,198 where the character Neo is given the choice 609 00:32:29,407 --> 00:32:31,200 between a red pill and a blue pill. 610 00:32:31,409 --> 00:32:35,621 You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland 611 00:32:35,830 --> 00:32:38,416 and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. 612 00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:42,211 And if he swallows the red pill, 613 00:32:42,420 --> 00:32:45,131 the scales will be peeled back from his eyes. 614 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:49,135 He will see everything that he hasn't been able to see. 615 00:32:49,343 --> 00:32:51,887 And if he takes the blue pill, he'll just go back to sleep 616 00:32:52,096 --> 00:32:54,223 and live in his sort of unaware, 617 00:32:54,432 --> 00:32:56,600 semi-comatose state forever, 618 00:32:56,809 --> 00:32:58,894 and probably be a lot happier. 619 00:32:59,103 --> 00:33:00,771 It's a pretty apt analogy. 620 00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:04,525 So what is the blue pill in this world? 621 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:08,237 Well, the blue is the paradigm that most people live by, 622 00:33:08,446 --> 00:33:10,030 that men have all the power, 623 00:33:10,239 --> 00:33:12,241 that they've always had all the power, 624 00:33:12,450 --> 00:33:15,035 that domestic violence is a problem 625 00:33:15,244 --> 00:33:17,663 that's committed by men against women only, 626 00:33:17,872 --> 00:33:19,392 that sexual assaults are only committed 627 00:33:19,582 --> 00:33:21,667 by men against women, 628 00:33:21,876 --> 00:33:23,461 that women don't make the same money 629 00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:26,088 for the same work as men. 630 00:33:26,297 --> 00:33:28,507 "Teach men not to rape. Only men can stop rape. 631 00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:30,259 Men commit domestic violence. 632 00:33:30,468 --> 00:33:32,303 We need to stop violence against women... " 633 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:35,264 instead of just stopping violence. 634 00:33:35,473 --> 00:33:37,183 That is feminist training. 635 00:33:40,478 --> 00:33:44,482 The mras... 636 00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:46,942 Say that we live in a blue-pill world 637 00:33:47,151 --> 00:33:49,737 where women are victims, men are perpetrators, 638 00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:51,864 and it's all a lie 639 00:33:52,031 --> 00:33:54,909 and that we're brainwashed to believe this, 640 00:33:55,117 --> 00:33:56,285 and that it's not true, 641 00:33:56,494 --> 00:33:57,888 and that men are slaves in this world 642 00:33:57,912 --> 00:34:01,290 and women are... 643 00:34:01,499 --> 00:34:03,834 1 don't think women are necessarily the puppet masters, 644 00:34:04,043 --> 00:34:08,297 but I think they're saying that women 645 00:34:08,506 --> 00:34:12,801 have the easy way out and men are... 646 00:34:13,010 --> 00:34:15,137 They're given medals and statues 647 00:34:15,346 --> 00:34:17,348 and written in the history books 648 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:21,435 to justify them dying and being slaves to work 649 00:34:21,644 --> 00:34:23,812 or being, uh... 650 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:27,066 Being used to progress societies. 651 00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:35,741 And I've just... I've believed for so long 652 00:34:35,950 --> 00:34:39,328 that... that I'm... 653 00:34:39,537 --> 00:34:42,289 At a disadvantage for being a woman 654 00:34:42,498 --> 00:34:44,418 and that I have to work harder than everyone else 655 00:34:44,542 --> 00:34:47,753 and I have more to overcome and I have more to prove 656 00:34:47,962 --> 00:34:49,463 just because of my gender. 657 00:34:49,672 --> 00:34:52,132 But the mras are saying that this is all a lie 658 00:34:52,341 --> 00:34:53,759 and that guys are actually the ones 659 00:34:53,968 --> 00:34:58,180 that are disadvantaged and discriminated against. 660 00:35:02,226 --> 00:35:03,936 And, actually, the more 1 learn from them, 661 00:35:04,144 --> 00:35:07,189 the more I think, "thank god i wasn't born a guy." 662 00:35:07,398 --> 00:35:10,150 Because I don't think 663 00:35:10,359 --> 00:35:15,364 that the expectations on men... 664 00:35:15,573 --> 00:35:17,366 Is good or healthy. 665 00:35:17,575 --> 00:35:19,451 I mean, they have so much pressure 666 00:35:19,660 --> 00:35:21,287 to succeed and to be strong 667 00:35:21,495 --> 00:35:23,372 and to stand up and protect others 668 00:35:23,581 --> 00:35:25,457 and to put their lives on the line. 669 00:35:28,544 --> 00:35:30,754 I don't think I would want that responsibility. 670 00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:35,050 But, you know, 5o years ago, 671 00:35:35,259 --> 00:35:36,885 no, I wouldn't have wanted to be a woman. 672 00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:42,975 But now, I mean, maybe just 11"s right now 673 00:35:43,183 --> 00:35:44,393 that the tides are changing 674 00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:48,355 and women are the... 675 00:35:48,564 --> 00:35:50,941 Have the better deal. 676 00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:52,818 Well, no, I don't know. 677 00:35:59,992 --> 00:36:01,410 And then sometimes I think 678 00:36:01,619 --> 00:36:05,831 the mras are just duping me 679 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,627 and gmng such a strong pitch 680 00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:11,211 about what they believe in 681 00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:13,297 to convince me of something 682 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:16,300 that's actually just some out there theory 683 00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:17,843 that men are discriminated against 684 00:36:18,052 --> 00:36:20,346 and women are... Have the advantage. 685 00:36:25,142 --> 00:36:29,021 Yes, this is Cassie jaye. 686 00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:32,316 It's regarding a documentary about the men's rights movement, 687 00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:36,028 and we're looking for feminist voices now 688 00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:37,356 to speak in the documentary. 689 00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:56,840 Feminist majority. 690 00:36:57,049 --> 00:36:58,209 Yeah, hold on just one second. 691 00:37:10,229 --> 00:37:11,647 So I realized, "okay, 692 00:37:11,855 --> 00:37:13,583 I need to bring some feminists into the mix... 693 00:37:13,607 --> 00:37:15,418 - Good. - ...To make sure that we have that side.“ 694 00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:16,485 good. 695 00:37:16,694 --> 00:37:18,487 I was researching rape culture, 696 00:37:18,696 --> 00:37:21,699 and so that's how i stumbled across a website 697 00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:23,492 called avoiceformen.Com. 698 00:37:23,701 --> 00:37:25,595 So some of the people that we've already interviewed 699 00:37:25,619 --> 00:37:29,832 on the mra side is Paul elam with a voice for men. 700 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,875 - Yeah. - Are you familiar with him? 701 00:37:32,084 --> 00:37:33,728 Oh, I'm familiar with him. I've never met him. 702 00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,754 - Yeah. - Obviously, they've spent 703 00:37:35,963 --> 00:37:37,357 a significant amount of time and energy 704 00:37:37,381 --> 00:37:39,091 denouncing me, so I figured i might as well 705 00:37:39,299 --> 00:37:41,552 have a look at what they say. 706 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,722 Yeah, really, the men's rights movement is part of the backlash. 707 00:37:44,930 --> 00:37:47,433 - The backlash? - To feminism. 708 00:37:47,641 --> 00:37:50,894 The men's rights movement really got going 709 00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:53,105 as women began to make gains, 710 00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:56,108 and some men have felt threatened 711 00:37:56,316 --> 00:38:00,612 by the opportunities that have been opened up to women. 712 00:38:00,821 --> 00:38:02,061 And I don't know if it's because 713 00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:04,324 some of them feel threatened 714 00:38:04,533 --> 00:38:05,743 that they now have to compete 715 00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:07,911 with a lot more people for their jobs. 716 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,915 They now can't get into the best schools 717 00:38:12,124 --> 00:38:14,877 if a woman or a girl has better grades. 718 00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:16,545 Think about it. 719 00:38:16,754 --> 00:38:18,338 Grandfather's generation probably had it 720 00:38:18,547 --> 00:38:20,340 pretty well, right? 721 00:38:20,549 --> 00:38:24,553 All of his needs, his shirts were ironed, 722 00:38:24,762 --> 00:38:26,722 all of that was always taken care of. 723 00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:28,182 Well, you know, grow up, 724 00:38:28,390 --> 00:38:30,768 realize the world has changed. 725 00:38:30,976 --> 00:38:33,353 And as much as the mras 726 00:38:33,562 --> 00:38:35,522 would like things to go back to the way they were 727 00:38:35,689 --> 00:38:38,484 and use the argument 728 00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:40,360 that women have an advantage now... 729 00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:44,490 No person looking at the data 730 00:38:44,698 --> 00:38:46,950 can possibly say women have an advantage. 731 00:38:47,159 --> 00:38:51,580 We're just beginning to get a level playing field here. 732 00:38:51,789 --> 00:38:56,168 It's not tilted in our favor, i can tell you that. 733 00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:58,587 And they know it. They know it. 734 00:38:58,796 --> 00:39:04,468 But it's the constant distortion of the data, 735 00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:08,639 it's the spinning of a situation 736 00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:12,976 to make it look like women are somehow getting ahead, 737 00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:15,771 getting an advantage they don't deserve. 738 00:39:15,979 --> 00:39:20,067 Um, it's, uh... It's part of the backlash. 739 00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:24,446 Political organizing comes from a feeling of victimization, 740 00:39:24,655 --> 00:39:27,199 which 1s why the men's rights movement makes that claim 741 00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:30,077 that men are the victims of discrimination. 742 00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:31,703 But it doesn't have much traction 743 00:39:31,912 --> 00:39:35,541 because you look around and it's hard to see it. 744 00:39:35,749 --> 00:39:38,836 We don't have movements called, you know, straight liberation. 745 00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:42,548 Is the men's... the question i would pose rhetorically is 746 00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:47,427 is the men's rights movement really the gendered version 747 00:39:47,636 --> 00:39:49,346 of the white nationalist movement? 748 00:39:49,555 --> 00:39:52,432 Because there are plenty of white people 749 00:39:52,641 --> 00:39:54,268 who say that they are the victims 750 00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:56,353 of reverse discrimination. 751 00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,730 Of course, it's not gonna have very much traction. 752 00:39:58,939 --> 00:40:03,235 You can't really organize the people who are super ordinate. 753 00:40:07,823 --> 00:40:09,908 So do you think that men 754 00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:13,662 are being discriminated against in any way? 755 00:40:13,871 --> 00:40:15,664 Not under the law. 756 00:40:15,873 --> 00:40:18,667 Men are not disadvantaged under our laws 757 00:40:18,876 --> 00:40:22,754 or in the business world. 758 00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:26,675 As a class, men are not underrepresented on corporate boards 759 00:40:26,884 --> 00:40:29,887 or the top of the fortune 1,000 companies. 760 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:32,681 In the corporate world, in the business world, 761 00:40:32,890 --> 00:40:34,683 in a lot of parts of academia, 762 00:40:34,892 --> 00:40:37,269 in the military, in the sports world, 763 00:40:37,436 --> 00:40:40,564 it's still pretty much a male-dominated world, 764 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:41,982 where a lot of the prmleges 765 00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:44,651 and power and status accrue to men. 766 00:40:44,860 --> 00:40:49,281 Men are advantaged over women, no question. 767 00:40:49,489 --> 00:40:52,534 No one can... No one can debate that. 768 00:40:52,743 --> 00:40:55,245 Not with a serious... 769 00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:58,582 Not in any seriousness. 770 00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:10,385 1 was a math major as an undergraduate, 771 00:41:10,594 --> 00:41:13,555 and one of the fundamental things about geometry 772 00:41:13,764 --> 00:41:16,266 is the distance from point "a" to point "b" 773 00:41:16,475 --> 00:41:19,519 equals the distance from point "b" to point "a," 774 00:41:19,728 --> 00:41:22,648 and if women are so different from men 775 00:41:22,856 --> 00:41:25,525 that men can't understand the female experience, 776 00:41:25,734 --> 00:41:28,320 we need to listen to women to describe it, 777 00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:30,322 then the male experience is so different 778 00:41:30,530 --> 00:41:32,730 from the female experience that you can't understand it. 779 00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:34,284 You need to listen to us. 780 00:41:34,493 --> 00:41:36,328 You can't really compare 781 00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:41,750 how men and women have suffered from sexism. 782 00:41:41,959 --> 00:41:44,795 There's no way to quantify, 783 00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:48,173 you know, that kind of suffering. 784 00:41:48,382 --> 00:41:52,719 So 1f a woman says, “well, 1 miss 30°10 of my income... 785 00:41:57,891 --> 00:42:01,311 More than you miss six years of life..." 786 00:42:04,815 --> 00:42:06,817 There's no way to quantify that. 787 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:10,779 Or "I've lost a job opportunity because I'm a woman." 788 00:42:10,988 --> 00:42:14,366 There's no way to say, "I've suffered more than you" 789 00:42:14,574 --> 00:42:16,994 because you've lost a kid because you're a man. 790 00:42:17,202 --> 00:42:20,080 You know, we can't... But it is serious. 791 00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:23,709 And at least if... 792 00:42:23,917 --> 00:42:26,211 If you're denied a job because you're a woman, 793 00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:27,900 at least you can go to another company 794 00:42:28,005 --> 00:42:29,464 and apply for a job, you know? 795 00:42:29,673 --> 00:42:31,383 But you can't... When you lose your kid, 796 00:42:31,591 --> 00:42:33,593 you can't say, "okay, I'll get custody of that kid. 797 00:42:33,802 --> 00:42:35,595 I'll try for that one." 798 00:42:35,804 --> 00:42:38,181 It's a terrible thing that happens. 799 00:42:41,101 --> 00:42:43,854 There was a case... The serpico case. 800 00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,234 You might be too young to know the movie "serpico" 801 00:42:49,443 --> 00:42:50,963 - with al Pacino. - Yeah, I don't know. 802 00:42:51,028 --> 00:42:53,071 It was about a New York City undercover cop. 803 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,680 He gets shot at the end of the movie 804 00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,283 and retires from the police force. 805 00:42:56,491 --> 00:42:58,869 And he was a real man, frank serpico. 806 00:42:59,077 --> 00:43:02,539 A woman, after the movie, after this was made, 807 00:43:02,748 --> 00:43:04,624 decided she wanted to become a single mother 808 00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:07,085 and tricked him into fathering a child. 809 00:43:07,294 --> 00:43:08,837 And the court accepted that, 810 00:43:09,046 --> 00:43:11,256 because she told her friends she was going to trick him 811 00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:12,985 and they testified, and the court said, 812 00:43:13,050 --> 00:43:14,885 "yes, you were tricked into it," 813 00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:19,139 and still awarded her over 90°/o of his police pension. 814 00:43:19,306 --> 00:43:21,226 So everything that he goes through in this movie, 815 00:43:21,433 --> 00:43:24,853 including getting shot, to earn his pension, 816 00:43:25,062 --> 00:43:28,857 she won by sleeping with him one night. 817 00:43:29,066 --> 00:43:30,859 My son's mom wanted to have children with me 818 00:43:31,068 --> 00:43:32,652 and I had always refused, 819 00:43:32,861 --> 00:43:34,863 you know, saying, "you have this anger problem. 820 00:43:35,072 --> 00:43:36,406 You need to get counseling. 821 00:43:36,615 --> 00:43:38,658 I'm not gonna consider having children with you 822 00:43:38,867 --> 00:43:40,494 until that's dealt with," 823 00:43:40,702 --> 00:43:42,913 'cause she would lose her temper almost every day, 824 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:44,623 and just use any weapon she could. 825 00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:47,375 And, like, a child's the perfect weapon, 826 00:43:47,584 --> 00:43:49,086 so I was really definite about that. 827 00:43:49,294 --> 00:43:52,130 But she also used to proofread my articles for me. 828 00:43:52,339 --> 00:43:56,093 And I wrote an article for "playboy" about serpico. 829 00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:59,096 And when she read that, she told her friend 830 00:43:59,304 --> 00:44:01,681 she's gonna trick me into fathering the child. 831 00:44:01,890 --> 00:44:03,391 She doesn't need my permission. 832 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:07,604 And so that's how my son was conceived. 833 00:44:07,813 --> 00:44:11,108 Then she said, "if you wanna see your son, 834 00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:13,276 you have to stay in a relationship with me. 835 00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:14,986 But if you break up with me, 836 00:44:15,195 --> 00:44:17,489 I know all the things that a woman can do to a man." 837 00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:20,700 You know, she read all my articles. She saw my talk shows. 838 00:44:20,909 --> 00:44:22,637 She said, "1 know all the things a woman can do to a man, 839 00:44:22,661 --> 00:44:23,995 and I'll do 'em to you." 840 00:44:24,204 --> 00:44:26,623 So, um, that's what i had to deal with. 841 00:44:26,832 --> 00:44:29,084 Everything that I had been raising awareness about 842 00:44:29,292 --> 00:44:31,753 for the previous 17 years, 843 00:44:31,962 --> 00:44:35,715 she combined into one thing for me to live through. 844 00:44:35,924 --> 00:44:37,676 It's really ironic. 845 00:44:40,679 --> 00:44:43,515 For the first... 846 00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:46,768 Five to seven years, I guess, 847 00:44:46,977 --> 00:44:50,188 we would see each other four times a day for exchanges. 848 00:44:50,397 --> 00:44:52,107 On average, every single day 849 00:44:52,315 --> 00:44:54,442 I had to deal with some scene... 850 00:44:54,651 --> 00:44:57,362 A scene meaning she would just not show up 851 00:44:57,571 --> 00:45:00,949 or she would hold the kid out and then pull him back 852 00:45:01,158 --> 00:45:02,367 and hold him out and pull him... 853 00:45:02,576 --> 00:45:03,719 And just kind of play with me. 854 00:45:03,743 --> 00:45:05,162 Or she'd let me have the kid 855 00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:06,556 and then she'd stand in front of the car 856 00:45:06,580 --> 00:45:07,580 so I couldn't move. 857 00:45:15,338 --> 00:45:18,550 Another time, I saw her hold him by the shoulders 858 00:45:18,758 --> 00:45:20,760 and say, "daddy is a bad man. 859 00:45:20,969 --> 00:45:22,929 Daddy is a very bad man." 860 00:45:25,307 --> 00:45:27,350 And so I had to go through this long custody battle, 861 00:45:27,559 --> 00:45:29,936 and the decisions that they would make, 862 00:45:30,145 --> 00:45:32,147 you would just go, "how... " 863 00:45:32,355 --> 00:45:34,482 there couldn't be any explanation. 864 00:45:34,691 --> 00:45:38,403 Either they're absolute idiots or it's biased. 865 00:45:38,612 --> 00:45:40,697 There's just no other explanation for it. 866 00:45:42,949 --> 00:45:45,410 One other thing, his mom is obese 867 00:45:45,619 --> 00:45:49,456 and wanted him to be obese for various reasons. 868 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:51,791 One thing is so he would identify 869 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,836 more with her side of the family than mine, 870 00:45:55,045 --> 00:45:57,631 'cause we're all... All thin. 871 00:45:57,797 --> 00:46:01,009 Another was so that he would enjoy being with her more, 872 00:46:01,218 --> 00:46:04,137 'cause when he was at my house, he had to get actmty, 873 00:46:04,346 --> 00:46:06,223 you know, and eat well-balanced meals, 874 00:46:06,431 --> 00:46:08,016 and get his sleep and stuff. 875 00:46:08,225 --> 00:46:10,227 And at her house, they would bake brownies 876 00:46:10,435 --> 00:46:12,479 and stay up late and just watch TV. 877 00:46:12,687 --> 00:46:14,332 So where would you... If you're a little kid, 878 00:46:14,356 --> 00:46:16,233 where would you enjoy being more? 879 00:46:16,441 --> 00:46:19,819 But he self-reported to the mediator 880 00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:22,197 how upset he was about being obese, 881 00:46:22,405 --> 00:46:24,115 that the worst thing in school 882 00:46:24,324 --> 00:46:27,494 was when kids called him fatty and how he cried, 883 00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:30,038 and his physician said that 884 00:46:30,247 --> 00:46:32,207 he's really concerned medically. 885 00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:34,042 And then what I did, he was at an age 886 00:46:34,251 --> 00:46:37,045 where he would imitate things that I would do. 887 00:46:37,254 --> 00:46:38,694 You know, i gave him a broken shaver, 888 00:46:38,838 --> 00:46:40,840 so when I shaved, he would pretend to shave. 889 00:46:41,049 --> 00:46:42,342 And what I did was, 890 00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:44,070 I started weighing myself every morning 891 00:46:44,261 --> 00:46:48,056 and writing down my weight, the date and my weight, 892 00:46:48,265 --> 00:46:49,705 and I taught him how to read a scale. 893 00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:53,061 So he kept his own records. 894 00:46:53,270 --> 00:46:57,065 So I had six months worth of statistics to show consistently 895 00:46:57,274 --> 00:46:59,859 that every time he was with his mom for a few days, 896 00:47:00,068 --> 00:47:02,279 he'd come back weighing three to four pounds more, 897 00:47:02,487 --> 00:47:04,864 and then he'd lose it while he was with me. 898 00:47:05,073 --> 00:47:06,658 So they had, you know, 899 00:47:06,866 --> 00:47:08,827 how much he was upset about the problem, 900 00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:11,496 they had his physician being upset about the problem, 901 00:47:11,705 --> 00:47:13,665 and they had the proof of where the problem lay. 902 00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:15,500 So the judges' decision 903 00:47:15,709 --> 00:47:17,502 was, um, that father should no longer 904 00:47:17,711 --> 00:47:19,879 be allowed to weigh the child. 905 00:47:20,088 --> 00:47:21,088 Problem solved. 906 00:47:25,135 --> 00:47:27,679 After 14 years, my body gave out. 907 00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,514 And I got sicker than I've ever been. 908 00:47:29,723 --> 00:47:31,308 I realized I'm gonna die. 909 00:47:31,516 --> 00:47:32,796 That's not gonna do anybody good. 910 00:47:32,851 --> 00:47:34,102 I've gotta give up the fight. 911 00:47:34,311 --> 00:47:35,520 So I gave up custody, 912 00:47:35,729 --> 00:47:37,814 and so I don't see my son anymore. 913 00:47:38,023 --> 00:47:40,108 He hasn't been in my house since. 914 00:47:40,317 --> 00:47:42,110 - Um. - I'm so sorry. 915 00:47:42,319 --> 00:47:44,404 So I did lose him. 916 00:47:44,571 --> 00:47:49,326 ♪ Just like a dream 917 00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:55,123 ♪ you're like a guiding light shining in the night 918 00:47:55,332 --> 00:47:59,336 Fred claims that during his 14-year custody battle, 919 00:47:59,544 --> 00:48:00,628 he spent the equivalent 920 00:48:00,837 --> 00:48:03,256 of five years of his gross income 921 00:48:03,465 --> 00:48:05,467 on legal fees, mediators, 922 00:48:05,675 --> 00:48:07,635 and child support payments. 923 00:48:07,844 --> 00:48:09,554 I was really in his life a lot longer 924 00:48:09,763 --> 00:48:11,931 than most fathers would have been. 925 00:48:12,140 --> 00:48:14,559 It's something most fathers can't afford. 926 00:48:17,771 --> 00:48:23,151 ♪ You are so beautiful 927 00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:24,360 ito me 928 00:48:33,495 --> 00:48:35,372 we generally know that fathers 929 00:48:35,580 --> 00:48:37,099 don't get as good a deal in family court 930 00:48:37,123 --> 00:48:38,750 and we don't really complain about it 931 00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:40,168 until it happens to us, 932 00:48:40,377 --> 00:48:41,697 and even then, a lot of men don't. 933 00:48:41,753 --> 00:48:43,380 Many men's rights actmsts 934 00:48:43,588 --> 00:48:45,548 come into being men's rights actmsts 935 00:48:45,757 --> 00:48:47,425 as a result of getting a divorce, 936 00:48:47,634 --> 00:48:49,362 wanting to be equally involved with the children, 937 00:48:49,386 --> 00:48:52,389 and realizing that women have the right to children 938 00:48:52,597 --> 00:48:55,600 and men have to fight for children. 939 00:48:55,809 --> 00:48:59,604 When your family courts run on the supposition 940 00:48:59,813 --> 00:49:03,900 that mothers are more fit to be custodial parents 941 00:49:04,109 --> 00:49:06,986 and that fathers are more fit 942 00:49:07,195 --> 00:49:11,408 to provide a check every month 943 00:49:11,616 --> 00:49:14,994 and to become what we like to call "uncle daddy," 944 00:49:15,203 --> 00:49:17,997 where they visit... Visit their children, 945 00:49:18,206 --> 00:49:20,625 to me, that's one of the greatest obscenities 1n the world, 946 00:49:20,834 --> 00:49:23,336 the idea of visiting your own children, 947 00:49:23,545 --> 00:49:24,796 where you get to see them 948 00:49:25,004 --> 00:49:26,840 for two hours on Wednesday night, 949 00:49:27,048 --> 00:49:31,344 and you get to have them for “x“ amount of hours every other weekend, 950 00:49:31,553 --> 00:49:33,930 and you have no say in how they're brought up. 951 00:49:45,525 --> 00:49:46,734 You know, I can't tell you 952 00:49:46,943 --> 00:49:49,863 how many men have been in this office, 953 00:49:50,071 --> 00:49:52,532 in that chair, 954 00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:56,453 in tears because they can't see their kids. 955 00:50:11,634 --> 00:50:12,760 Yeah, and some of this stuff 956 00:50:12,969 --> 00:50:15,305 ends up in horrific consequences. 957 00:50:15,513 --> 00:50:18,766 Like this gentleman here, that's his little son. 958 00:50:18,975 --> 00:50:20,685 They found him dead... 959 00:50:20,894 --> 00:50:22,687 Not the son, but the young man, 960 00:50:22,896 --> 00:50:26,274 in the desert with a bullet in his head 961 00:50:26,483 --> 00:50:28,693 the day before the family court 962 00:50:28,902 --> 00:50:30,487 where it became known 963 00:50:30,695 --> 00:50:33,490 that he was gonna get to see his little guy even less. 964 00:50:35,617 --> 00:50:37,494 And of course, he'd be falsely accused 965 00:50:37,702 --> 00:50:39,287 one time after another after another. 966 00:50:39,496 --> 00:50:41,080 It had destroyed his life. 967 00:50:41,289 --> 00:50:43,875 It had bankrupt him, driven him into debt. 968 00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:45,293 It caused him to miss work. 969 00:50:45,502 --> 00:50:47,295 He was about ready to lose his job. 970 00:50:47,504 --> 00:50:48,689 He was at the end of his rope, 971 00:50:48,713 --> 00:50:52,342 so he just decided to end it. 972 00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:55,720 The unfairness in the family courts, 973 00:50:55,929 --> 00:50:57,449 the unfairness in the way child support 974 00:50:57,514 --> 00:50:58,890 is so often structured, 975 00:50:59,098 --> 00:51:00,642 it's commonplace, and it's everywhere, 976 00:51:00,850 --> 00:51:02,495 and the more you start to become conscious of it, 977 00:51:02,519 --> 00:51:04,020 the more you realize that it's there. 978 00:51:09,692 --> 00:51:13,738 1 started to research some father's rights issues 979 00:51:13,947 --> 00:51:18,117 and came across some harrowing stories, 980 00:51:18,326 --> 00:51:20,578 like this man in south Carolina 981 00:51:20,787 --> 00:51:23,331 who found out his only daughter was adopted away 982 00:51:23,540 --> 00:51:26,918 by the mother without his knowledge or consent... 983 00:51:27,126 --> 00:51:28,169 His daughter was with 984 00:51:28,378 --> 00:51:30,547 an adoptive family in California, 985 00:51:30,755 --> 00:51:32,966 so he began his fight to get his daughter back. 986 00:51:33,132 --> 00:51:36,135 Adoption is for children without families, 987 00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:39,764 not children with a willing and capable family. 988 00:51:39,973 --> 00:51:41,933 And this man in Colorado 989 00:51:42,141 --> 00:51:44,561 who lost his daughter when the mother left the state 990 00:51:44,769 --> 00:51:46,354 to give birth in Utah 991 00:51:46,563 --> 00:51:49,315 where he wouldn't have legal rights to his child. 992 00:51:49,524 --> 00:51:51,359 He fought for four years in court 993 00:51:51,568 --> 00:51:55,363 and finally won visitation rights... 994 00:51:55,572 --> 00:51:57,574 Only visitation. 995 00:51:57,782 --> 00:52:00,159 1 can't explain the emotion, the happiness... 996 00:52:00,368 --> 00:52:03,705 This hard fight, and what this means to me... 997 00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:06,833 And then there's this heartbreaking story. 998 00:52:07,041 --> 00:52:09,794 The 2o year old father never left her side 999 00:52:10,003 --> 00:52:12,839 until he was forced to give her to adoptive parents this week 1000 00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:16,009 after Kaylee's mother decided to put her up for adoption. 1001 00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:17,969 In order to keep Kaylee, 1002 00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:21,180 Colby needed to file paternity action, an affidavit, 1003 00:52:21,389 --> 00:52:24,183 and a commencement notice with Utah's vital records 1004 00:52:24,392 --> 00:52:25,810 a day before the mother signed 1005 00:52:26,019 --> 00:52:28,187 the adoption papers relinquishing her rights. 1006 00:52:28,396 --> 00:52:31,608 But 1n Colby's case, the mother only gave him a few hours notice 1007 00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:33,651 of what she was going to do. 1008 00:52:33,860 --> 00:52:36,446 I would like her back. 1009 00:52:36,654 --> 00:52:37,905 Men in the men's movement 1010 00:52:38,114 --> 00:52:41,618 are not upset about having to be fathers. 1011 00:52:41,826 --> 00:52:44,871 They're upset because they're not allowed to be fathers. 1012 00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:48,416 That guy... 1013 00:52:48,625 --> 00:52:50,627 Blows his head off, blows his brains out. 1014 00:52:50,835 --> 00:52:54,005 Out of family court? 1015 00:52:54,213 --> 00:52:56,453 And people don't think there's something wrong with that? 1016 00:52:58,384 --> 00:53:01,095 We just open the doors tomorrow for business as usual 1017 00:53:01,304 --> 00:53:02,972 and that's okay? 1018 00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,233 I've always thought of feminism 1019 00:53:14,442 --> 00:53:17,820 as being the fight for gender equality. 1020 00:53:18,029 --> 00:53:20,448 And yet I've never heard about father's rights 1021 00:53:20,657 --> 00:53:23,284 and the injustices going on in family court. 1022 00:53:25,036 --> 00:53:26,704 Why is this? 1023 00:53:26,913 --> 00:53:32,251 I decided to ask gender studies professor Michael messner. 1024 00:53:32,460 --> 00:53:35,880 Well, I'll just say, i don't think 11"s... 1025 00:53:36,089 --> 00:53:37,882 I don't think that a lot of their assumptions 1026 00:53:38,091 --> 00:53:39,926 are correct to start with. 1027 00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:42,470 There's no doubt that there have been some men 1028 00:53:42,679 --> 00:53:44,263 who get just screwed 1029 00:53:44,472 --> 00:53:49,060 by court decisions and custody cases. 1030 00:53:49,268 --> 00:53:53,272 But I think when you look at the broader patterns, 1031 00:53:53,481 --> 00:53:56,275 it's still the case that 1032 00:53:56,484 --> 00:54:01,155 in intact heterosexual families with kids, 1033 00:54:01,364 --> 00:54:03,116 women are still doing the vast majority 1034 00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:05,785 of the housework and child care, 1035 00:54:05,993 --> 00:54:08,788 and there's a lot of sort of father absence, 1036 00:54:08,996 --> 00:54:10,790 lack of participation by fathers, 1037 00:54:10,957 --> 00:54:15,503 some of whom, I think, after divorce happens, 1038 00:54:15,712 --> 00:54:19,090 end up suddenly wanting 1039 00:54:19,298 --> 00:54:22,719 equality, you know, as fathers 1040 00:54:22,927 --> 00:54:24,927 when they haven't really been participating equally 1041 00:54:25,054 --> 00:54:26,264 as fathers before. 1042 00:54:26,472 --> 00:54:29,559 So to me, it always kind of swings back 1043 00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:33,646 to the feminist perspective of how we need to push 1044 00:54:33,855 --> 00:54:35,940 for full equality across the board, 1045 00:54:36,149 --> 00:54:39,110 including before divorces. 1046 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:41,738 And if we have that, then we might expect 1047 00:54:41,946 --> 00:54:44,657 more symmetry after divorces happen. 1048 00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:51,539 The more i researched father's rights, 1049 00:54:51,748 --> 00:54:55,501 the more I realized how deep this rabbit hole goes, 1050 00:54:55,710 --> 00:54:58,463 not only in the amount of issues, 1051 00:54:58,671 --> 00:55:00,131 but also in the vast array 1052 00:55:00,339 --> 00:55:03,676 of perspectives on these issues. 1053 00:55:03,885 --> 00:55:05,970 I decided to create a flow chart 1054 00:55:06,179 --> 00:55:09,098 of what I thought fathers' options might be 1055 00:55:09,307 --> 00:55:11,976 following a surprise pregnancy. 1056 00:55:12,185 --> 00:55:14,353 I then put a green line for the paths 1057 00:55:14,562 --> 00:55:16,981 that I thought would be good turn-outs for the father. 1058 00:55:17,190 --> 00:55:18,566 And I put red lines for the paths 1059 00:55:18,775 --> 00:55:21,986 that seemed to not be good for the father. 1060 00:55:22,195 --> 00:55:25,573 Then I created a flow chart for women's options 1061 00:55:25,782 --> 00:55:27,950 and did the same with green and red lines. 1062 00:55:31,162 --> 00:55:32,997 And as I stepped back, 1063 00:55:33,206 --> 00:55:36,167 I saw all the red lines for the women's options 1064 00:55:36,375 --> 00:55:37,960 if she does not want the child. 1065 00:55:40,338 --> 00:55:43,299 But something dawned on me. 1066 00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:48,387 Of every path the biological father could go down, 1067 00:55:48,596 --> 00:55:52,517 he's at the mercy of the woman's sole discretion. 1068 00:55:52,725 --> 00:55:56,479 Although women have very difficult choices to make, 1069 00:55:56,687 --> 00:56:00,608 she at least has the choice. 1070 00:56:00,817 --> 00:56:02,819 But for biological fathers, 1071 00:56:03,027 --> 00:56:06,781 they have no say over their parental destiny. 1072 00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:21,337 This is my friend darrah. 1073 00:56:21,546 --> 00:56:24,549 She's eight months pregnant with her first child 1074 00:56:24,757 --> 00:56:27,051 and she's a lifelong feminist. 1075 00:56:30,972 --> 00:56:34,225 It seems from what I've read, that women seem to have 1076 00:56:34,433 --> 00:56:37,228 more reproductive rights than men do. 1077 00:56:37,436 --> 00:56:39,647 I don't know what to say. We carry children. 1078 00:56:39,856 --> 00:56:41,232 They're never gonna carry children. 1079 00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:42,650 It's just a different thing. 1080 00:56:42,859 --> 00:56:45,069 So, 1 guess, as much as possible, 1081 00:56:45,278 --> 00:56:48,656 take the steps to prevent yourself 1082 00:56:48,865 --> 00:56:50,616 being in that situation. 1083 00:56:50,825 --> 00:56:52,545 It's just, like, I don't know what to say. 1084 00:56:52,660 --> 00:56:55,079 There's no... There's nothing... 1085 00:56:55,288 --> 00:56:57,415 A woman has been... 1086 00:56:57,623 --> 00:57:00,459 Women have been blamed for, and still are, 1087 00:57:00,668 --> 00:57:04,255 for unwanted pregnancies, 1088 00:57:04,463 --> 00:57:05,673 choosing to have an abortion, 1089 00:57:05,882 --> 00:57:07,174 not choosing to have an abortion, 1090 00:57:07,383 --> 00:57:09,260 choosing to put their child up for adoption. 1091 00:57:09,468 --> 00:57:15,266 When the burden lies on a single mother 1f the man leaves, 1092 00:57:15,474 --> 00:57:18,686 societally, she's lam basted. 1093 00:57:18,895 --> 00:57:20,104 So there's a lot of things 1094 00:57:20,313 --> 00:57:22,106 that women deal with in that regard 1095 00:57:22,315 --> 00:57:24,275 that men don't actually deal with. 1096 00:57:24,483 --> 00:57:26,903 So I can have compassion for their situation, 1097 00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:28,696 but I don't know that it's gonna change 1098 00:57:28,905 --> 00:57:31,699 in the way they want it to, because it's biology. 1099 00:57:31,908 --> 00:57:34,702 So if you're going to be having sex 1100 00:57:34,911 --> 00:57:36,704 that could result in pregnancy, 1101 00:57:36,913 --> 00:57:38,497 and you haven't had this conversation 1102 00:57:38,706 --> 00:57:40,499 with the woman that you're having sex with, 1103 00:57:40,708 --> 00:57:42,428 you better have it. You better have it fast. 1104 00:57:42,543 --> 00:57:46,505 That's when the man has the ability to make decisions... 1105 00:57:46,714 --> 00:57:50,509 Either not to engage in sex or to use condoms 1106 00:57:50,718 --> 00:57:52,929 and to use other forms of contraception. 1107 00:57:53,137 --> 00:57:55,514 That's where his role comes in. 1108 00:57:55,723 --> 00:57:57,350 Once he's impregnated her, 1109 00:57:57,558 --> 00:58:00,937 she's the one now faced with continuing a pregnancy, 1110 00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:04,941 faced with the health risks that accompany pregnancy. 1111 00:58:05,149 --> 00:58:08,319 So... his rights have to 1112 00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:11,113 be exercised early. 1113 00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:16,744 But once she's pregnant, all decisions must be hers. 1114 00:58:16,953 --> 00:58:21,499 Because ultimately, she is the most impacted. 1115 00:58:21,707 --> 00:58:23,334 There's just no question. 1116 00:58:23,501 --> 00:58:25,628 She ultimately has the responsibility for that child. 1117 00:58:31,467 --> 00:58:32,593 So before we were married, 1118 00:58:32,802 --> 00:58:34,971 he promised me we would have two kids, 1119 00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:36,806 and now he doesn't want anymore. 1120 00:58:37,014 --> 00:58:38,557 Aww. 1121 00:58:38,766 --> 00:58:40,126 My friends think i should trick him 1122 00:58:40,184 --> 00:58:41,727 and stop taking my birth control. 1123 00:58:41,894 --> 00:58:44,772 Men have never been in control of our bodies, 1124 00:58:44,981 --> 00:58:46,565 we're the ones in control. 1125 00:58:46,774 --> 00:58:48,494 Clap if you think that she should trick him. 1126 00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:54,782 My people. Up next, everybody... 1127 00:58:54,991 --> 00:58:57,368 So it sounds like men's reproductive rights 1128 00:58:57,576 --> 00:59:01,372 are limited to the choice of whether or not to have sex 1129 00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:04,792 and the choice of whether or not to use protection. 1130 00:59:05,001 --> 00:59:07,795 But what if he's tricked into fatherhood? 1131 00:59:08,004 --> 00:59:12,383 Or what if he's not even the father? 1132 00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:15,011 What does paternity fraud look like? 1133 00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:19,849 It's ugly. It's extraordinary ugly. 1134 00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:21,576 And we have to distinguish it between paternity fraud 1135 00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:24,228 - and wrongful paternity. - What's the difference? 1136 00:59:24,437 --> 00:59:27,690 Wrongful paternity can be innocent. 1137 00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:30,026 "Okay, we went to a party, i had sex with six guys. 1138 00:59:30,234 --> 00:59:32,114 I think it was when I was hanging out the window 1139 00:59:32,278 --> 00:59:34,030 I got pregnant, but I wasn't sure. 1140 00:59:34,238 --> 00:59:36,008 But you know, if anybody knows that guy's name, 1141 00:59:36,032 --> 00:59:38,617 would you please have him call me?" 1142 00:59:38,826 --> 00:59:40,386 And then she names one of the other guys 1143 00:59:40,453 --> 00:59:42,997 and he didn't have sex with her. 1144 00:59:43,205 --> 00:59:45,624 It wasn't malicious. It wasn't intentional. 1145 00:59:45,833 --> 00:59:47,626 She wasn't trying to harm anybody. 1146 00:59:47,835 --> 00:59:50,463 She was just trying to figure out who it was. 1147 00:59:50,671 --> 00:59:53,340 Wrongful paternity. 1148 00:59:53,549 --> 00:59:56,677 More often, and less facetiously, 1149 00:59:56,886 --> 00:59:58,804 "okay, I'm married and I had an affair." 1150 01:00:01,599 --> 01:00:03,851 Obviously, here there's all sorts of problems, 1151 01:00:04,060 --> 01:00:05,603 because there are more victims 1152 01:00:05,811 --> 01:00:07,491 than the person who's named as dear old dad 1153 01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:10,066 who may be the wrong one. 1154 01:00:10,274 --> 01:00:11,835 There's everybody involved in the family, 1155 01:00:11,859 --> 01:00:14,278 like the situation in Texas 1156 01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:16,327 where the family had five little towhead kids... 1157 01:00:16,489 --> 01:00:18,657 All guys, all little blondos. 1158 01:00:18,866 --> 01:00:20,451 And all of a sudden, 1159 01:00:20,659 --> 01:00:21,845 one day one of the little blondo kids gets in trouble, 1160 01:00:21,869 --> 01:00:23,454 has to go to the hospital. 1161 01:00:23,621 --> 01:00:25,621 They can't get ahold of mom. They get ahold of dad. 1162 01:00:25,706 --> 01:00:28,876 Dad rushes to the hospital, needs to give blood. 1163 01:00:29,085 --> 01:00:30,169 Whoops. 1164 01:00:30,336 --> 01:00:32,296 Can't do it. Wrong blood. 1165 01:00:32,505 --> 01:00:34,465 "What?" 1166 01:00:34,673 --> 01:00:36,884 All the kids look alike. 1167 01:00:37,093 --> 01:00:39,887 Turns out it was the guy down the street. 1168 01:00:40,096 --> 01:00:42,306 - You've heard of this case? - It's a real case. 1169 01:00:42,515 --> 01:00:44,767 So what happens to this family? 1170 01:00:44,975 --> 01:00:49,897 Can you fathom what happens to this family? 1171 01:00:50,106 --> 01:00:51,899 How do think the kids feel when they find out 1172 01:00:52,108 --> 01:00:53,317 dear old dad isn't dear old dad 1173 01:00:53,526 --> 01:00:54,669 and it's the guy down the street? 1174 01:00:54,693 --> 01:00:56,946 How do you think dad feels, 1175 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:59,907 that these five little boys that he still loves dearly, 1176 01:01:00,116 --> 01:01:01,885 when he finds out they're not his bio children. 1177 01:01:01,909 --> 01:01:03,828 But he can't tear away, 'cause he loves them. 1178 01:01:04,036 --> 01:01:06,122 He's devoted himself to these... 1179 01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:08,290 How do you think he feels? 1180 01:01:08,499 --> 01:01:10,709 I mean, it's horrific. 1181 01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,129 Horrific. 1182 01:01:13,337 --> 01:01:16,132 That's not wrongful. That's deliberate. 1183 01:01:16,340 --> 01:01:18,460 - So that's paternity fraud? - That's paternity fraud. 1184 01:01:18,551 --> 01:01:20,553 She knew who the father was and lied about it. 1185 01:01:22,930 --> 01:01:24,765 Paul was right when he said 1186 01:01:24,974 --> 01:01:27,351 trying to understand the men's rights movement 1187 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,146 is like trying to understand a snowdrift 1188 01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:34,358 one snowflake at a time. 1189 01:01:34,567 --> 01:01:36,944 There are unique father's rights issues 1190 01:01:37,153 --> 01:01:40,531 that vary between unmarried, married, 1191 01:01:40,739 --> 01:01:43,325 and divorced dads. 1192 01:01:43,534 --> 01:01:46,412 But there are also men's right's issues 1193 01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:48,497 for non-biological fathers... 1194 01:01:51,917 --> 01:01:54,962 Like this man who is facing jail time 1195 01:01:55,171 --> 01:01:56,964 for failure to pay child support 1196 01:01:57,173 --> 01:02:01,135 for a child that DNA tests prove isn't his. 1197 01:02:01,343 --> 01:02:03,679 Carnell Alexander still owes 1198 01:02:03,888 --> 01:02:07,975 more than $30,000 to the state for a child that's not his 1199 01:02:08,184 --> 01:02:10,186 because the mom wrote his name down 1200 01:02:10,394 --> 01:02:11,979 because she needed to name someone 1201 01:02:12,188 --> 01:02:13,898 in order to get welfare benefits. 1202 01:02:14,106 --> 01:02:16,192 I had to put him down as the father. 1203 01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:17,961 That was the only way i could get assistance. 1204 01:02:17,985 --> 01:02:21,405 I'm almost homeless. I'm almost in jail. 1205 01:02:21,614 --> 01:02:23,073 I'm out of work 1206 01:02:23,282 --> 01:02:25,284 my money is being threatened to be taken. 1207 01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:27,453 Reporter} He says the law needs to be changed, 1208 01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:30,206 so when this happens, as it often does, 1209 01:02:30,414 --> 01:02:33,167 other men don't become dad by default. 1210 01:02:40,966 --> 01:02:43,552 A lot of times people wonder about mras, 1211 01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:46,222 "why are you guys so angry?" 1212 01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:49,058 And my answer to that is, "why aren't you?" 1213 01:02:49,266 --> 01:02:53,229 How can anybody look at this and not be angered by it? 1214 01:02:53,437 --> 01:02:57,441 And the only answer to that I've ever been able to come up with 1215 01:02:57,650 --> 01:02:59,818 is that people aren't angry 1216 01:03:00,027 --> 01:03:01,987 because they don't see men as human beings. 1217 01:03:16,627 --> 01:03:19,838 I continued traveling north America, 1218 01:03:20,047 --> 01:03:24,176 meeting mras from all walks of life, 1219 01:03:24,385 --> 01:03:26,262 hearing their personal stories, 1220 01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:28,514 their red pill moments. 1221 01:03:28,722 --> 01:03:30,516 I met a young man who was sexually abused 1222 01:03:30,724 --> 01:03:32,059 when he was 16 years old 1223 01:03:32,268 --> 01:03:34,019 while lmng at a residential home 1224 01:03:34,228 --> 01:03:37,106 for people with developmental disabilities. 1225 01:03:37,314 --> 01:03:39,251 She was the only woman I've done anything ever with, 1226 01:03:39,275 --> 01:03:42,152 partly because it just messed me up so much. 1227 01:03:42,361 --> 01:03:44,863 She continues working there. 1228 01:03:49,076 --> 01:03:51,287 She hit me in the face. 1229 01:03:51,495 --> 01:03:53,289 She actually hit me throughout the house, 1230 01:03:53,497 --> 01:03:55,249 chased me throughout the house. 1231 01:03:55,499 --> 01:03:58,252 When I reported my domestic assault to police officers, 1232 01:03:58,460 --> 01:04:03,215 I did not at all bring up the fact that I was sexually assaulted. 1233 01:04:03,424 --> 01:04:05,092 Because if he wasn't going to believe 1234 01:04:05,301 --> 01:04:07,511 that I was a victim of domestic violence, 1235 01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,160 there was no way he was gonna believe 1236 01:04:09,305 --> 01:04:11,557 that I was gonna be a victim of sexual assault. 1237 01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:18,314 I met the honey badgers, 1238 01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:21,150 women who are men's rights advocates. 1239 01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:27,716 And then there was a 15-year-old boy, 1240 01:04:27,740 --> 01:04:29,116 there was a 35-year-old woman, 1241 01:04:29,325 --> 01:04:30,805 and then later on she came out of jail 1242 01:04:30,909 --> 01:04:34,330 and she was able to collect child support 1243 01:04:34,538 --> 01:04:36,165 from this boy that she raped. 1244 01:04:36,373 --> 01:04:37,708 Yeah. 1245 01:04:37,916 --> 01:04:39,251 After getting out of jail. 1246 01:04:39,460 --> 01:04:41,128 So there's lack of fairness for men 1247 01:04:41,337 --> 01:04:43,130 in the court systems. 1248 01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:45,924 When police officers show up to a domestic violence case 1249 01:04:46,133 --> 01:04:47,843 often men were just taken away 1250 01:04:48,052 --> 01:04:50,137 without asking what even happened. 1251 01:04:50,346 --> 01:04:52,556 It's just presumed that men are the criminals. 1252 01:04:55,142 --> 01:04:58,354 I was assaulted several times, and I never got any help. 1253 01:04:58,562 --> 01:05:01,023 I went to the police still bleeding a couple of times, 1254 01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:04,735 and one police officer said... 1255 01:05:04,943 --> 01:05:08,155 I'll never forget this, he said, 1256 01:05:08,364 --> 01:05:09,644 "if she starts hitting you again, 1257 01:05:09,782 --> 01:05:11,062 you better get out of there fast, 1258 01:05:11,158 --> 01:05:12,198 because if she just breaks 1259 01:05:12,368 --> 01:05:13,577 a fingernail trying to hit you, 1260 01:05:13,786 --> 01:05:15,329 we'll arrest you." 1261 01:05:15,537 --> 01:05:17,017 I mean, I can't tell you at this point 1262 01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:19,166 how many guys I've talked to who are like, 1263 01:05:19,375 --> 01:05:20,560 "yeah, you know, she stabbed me 1264 01:05:20,584 --> 01:05:22,002 and they put me in jail." 1265 01:05:22,211 --> 01:05:24,755 Not only are there endless studies 1266 01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:27,216 that show women are just as violent as men are, 1267 01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:30,177 when I would talk about it, invariably, 1268 01:05:30,386 --> 01:05:32,930 men would start coming out of the woodwork with stories... 1269 01:05:35,933 --> 01:05:37,393 Stories they were afraid to tell, 1270 01:05:37,601 --> 01:05:40,604 stories that they got laughed at for, 1271 01:05:40,813 --> 01:05:43,148 stories they they got blamed for. 1272 01:05:43,357 --> 01:05:47,403 It's hideous. 1273 01:05:47,611 --> 01:05:49,196 This is not flattering to men 1274 01:05:49,405 --> 01:05:50,989 to talk about men's vulnerabilities, 1275 01:05:51,198 --> 01:05:54,785 to talk about the ways that they are not strong 1276 01:05:54,993 --> 01:05:58,956 and that they are, well, weak. 1277 01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:01,625 And to be honest about it, it's not flattering. 1278 01:06:01,834 --> 01:06:05,003 A solution for both genders 1279 01:06:05,212 --> 01:06:07,423 is that we need to be able to recognize 1280 01:06:07,631 --> 01:06:09,800 how men are vulnerable 1281 01:06:10,008 --> 01:06:11,194 and we need to be able to recognize 1282 01:06:11,218 --> 01:06:13,220 how women are actors. 1283 01:06:13,429 --> 01:06:16,306 Because we have a huge blind spot 1284 01:06:16,515 --> 01:06:18,600 especially when women do bad things. 1285 01:06:23,981 --> 01:06:25,190 My best friend 1286 01:06:25,399 --> 01:06:27,276 that I grew up with since kindergarten 1287 01:06:27,484 --> 01:06:30,237 was being physically abused by his wife 1288 01:06:30,446 --> 01:06:33,824 who he'd been married to for 20 years. 1289 01:06:33,991 --> 01:06:36,952 She' ll break glass and throw 1t at him, punch him. 1290 01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:39,246 I've seen it happen spontaneously, 1291 01:06:39,455 --> 01:06:42,666 and it was frequent. 1292 01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:43,959 And he's bigger than her, 1293 01:06:44,168 --> 01:06:46,670 but he didn't want to hit her. 1294 01:06:46,879 --> 01:06:48,159 And he didn't want the children... 1295 01:06:48,255 --> 01:06:49,673 They had three minor children, 1296 01:06:49,882 --> 01:06:52,843 he didn't want them seeing this at all. 1297 01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:55,721 So he would usually just go outside, 1298 01:06:55,929 --> 01:06:58,056 because there would be glass breaking 1299 01:06:58,265 --> 01:07:00,476 or things being smashed or yelling, 1300 01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:02,478 and he knew that the neighbors 1301 01:07:02,686 --> 01:07:04,354 might think it's him. 1302 01:07:04,563 --> 01:07:06,148 So he would go outside 1303 01:07:06,356 --> 01:07:09,359 so that the neighbors could see what's happened. 1304 01:07:09,568 --> 01:07:11,487 Eventually, I said, "look, you're gonna need... 1305 01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:13,415 You need professional help, and so does she. 1306 01:07:13,489 --> 01:07:15,365 Maybe the kids do, too." 1307 01:07:15,574 --> 01:07:18,869 So I called a bunch of domestic violence shelters. 1308 01:07:19,036 --> 01:07:21,497 I just looked around online and I called, 1309 01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:24,082 but every place that I called said, 1310 01:07:24,291 --> 01:07:25,876 "we don't help men. 1311 01:07:26,084 --> 01:07:28,629 We don't help male... Men at all." 1312 01:07:28,837 --> 01:07:33,800 And I started becoming curious about why that was, 1313 01:07:34,009 --> 01:07:37,429 'cause I learned that these were state funded shelters. 1314 01:07:37,638 --> 01:07:41,099 And I know that men pay at least half of the taxes 1315 01:07:41,308 --> 01:07:43,228 that fund these shelters if they're state funded, 1316 01:07:43,310 --> 01:07:45,062 and I just was wondering why. 1317 01:07:45,270 --> 01:07:48,440 Basically, there was no place to take him 1318 01:07:48,649 --> 01:07:50,108 and it just continued. 1319 01:07:50,317 --> 01:07:51,527 The problem just kept going. 1320 01:07:57,282 --> 01:07:58,742 In the United States, 1321 01:07:58,951 --> 01:08:03,747 there are over 2,000 domestic violence shelters. 1322 01:08:03,956 --> 01:08:06,667 All of them serve female victims, 1323 01:08:06,875 --> 01:08:11,421 and nearly all of them turn away male victims. 1324 01:08:13,924 --> 01:08:17,135 In fact, as of 2016, 1325 01:08:17,344 --> 01:08:20,764 there's only a single domestic violence shelter for men. 1326 01:08:22,933 --> 01:08:25,352 My initial reaction was that there needed to be 1327 01:08:25,561 --> 01:08:27,563 thousands more women's shelters 1328 01:08:27,771 --> 01:08:31,024 because that many more women are being battered. 1329 01:08:31,233 --> 01:08:33,277 But as it turns out, 1330 01:08:33,485 --> 01:08:37,364 one in three women and one in four men 1331 01:08:37,573 --> 01:08:39,783 will be victims of physical violence 1332 01:08:39,992 --> 01:08:42,786 by an intimate partner in their lifetime. 1333 01:08:42,995 --> 01:08:46,540 Sure, there's a slight majority of female victims, 1334 01:08:46,748 --> 01:08:50,419 but how can that excuse deny men help? 1335 01:08:50,627 --> 01:08:53,338 Couldn't this be considered gender discrimination? 1336 01:08:58,427 --> 01:08:59,970 Think of it this way. 1337 01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:04,057 Roughly 78°/o of all suicides are men. 1338 01:09:04,266 --> 01:09:08,604 If suicide prevention services only served men, 1339 01:09:08,812 --> 01:09:12,816 wouldn't we see the gender discrimination immediately? 1340 01:09:13,025 --> 01:09:15,819 If there are over 2,000 women's shelters 1341 01:09:16,028 --> 01:09:17,988 that turn away men, 1342 01:09:18,196 --> 01:09:20,616 and only one shelter for men, 1343 01:09:20,824 --> 01:09:23,910 obviously, the resources don't match the need. 1344 01:09:27,956 --> 01:09:31,418 How are you involved in the men's rights movement? 1345 01:09:31,627 --> 01:09:32,747 Well, from the very beginning 1346 01:09:32,878 --> 01:09:34,212 when I first opened the refuge, 1347 01:09:34,421 --> 01:09:38,425 which was in 1971 in chiswick in London, 1348 01:09:38,634 --> 01:09:40,844 almost as soon as I took the women in, 1349 01:09:41,053 --> 01:09:44,222 I got a house for men. 1350 01:09:44,431 --> 01:09:47,643 A voice for men's editor at large Erin pizzey 1351 01:09:47,851 --> 01:09:52,439 founded the first ever women's shelter in 1971, 1352 01:09:52,648 --> 01:09:55,651 and she is widely revered in the men's rights community. 1353 01:09:59,404 --> 01:10:01,490 'Cause you see, what 1 knew from the beginning, 1354 01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:04,034 most domestic violence is consensual. 1355 01:10:04,201 --> 01:10:05,243 Both are involved. 1356 01:10:05,452 --> 01:10:07,079 Sometimes one's the perpetrator, 1357 01:10:07,287 --> 01:10:09,998 the other plays the victim, then it crosses over. 1358 01:10:10,207 --> 01:10:13,460 It's not as though it's just all men or all women. 1359 01:10:13,669 --> 01:10:17,047 It's both, and occasionally, innocent victims... 1360 01:10:17,255 --> 01:10:18,255 Very innocent. 1361 01:10:22,094 --> 01:10:24,888 Battered children grow up to batter, that's what t. Learned, 1362 01:10:25,097 --> 01:10:27,015 whether it be a man or a woman. 1363 01:10:27,224 --> 01:10:28,892 And I now know that if a woman comes in 1364 01:10:29,101 --> 01:10:32,020 with a history of violence in her own childhood, 1365 01:10:32,229 --> 01:10:34,690 chances are, she will be probably violent to her children, 1366 01:10:34,898 --> 01:10:38,068 and she will want to live on this knife edge of crisis and danger. 1367 01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:42,227 I haven't been allowed to speak. 1368 01:10:42,406 --> 01:10:44,491 - That's the difficulty. - Why is that? 1369 01:10:44,700 --> 01:10:47,369 Because I'm completely barred from all conferences. 1370 01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:49,913 I'm not allowed to walk up the step of my own refuge. 1371 01:10:50,122 --> 01:10:51,248 I bought the bloody building. 1372 01:10:51,456 --> 01:10:53,291 But, no, because there's feminists... 1373 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,502 The woman who runs it is very heavily feminist. 1374 01:10:55,711 --> 01:10:57,191 She won't have anything to do with me. 1375 01:10:57,379 --> 01:11:00,632 What did you say that made them hate you? 1376 01:11:00,841 --> 01:11:02,926 That women could be equally as violent as men... 1377 01:11:03,135 --> 01:11:04,255 That was from the beginning. 1378 01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:15,522 Erin pizzey says that 62 1379 01:11:15,731 --> 01:11:19,109 of the first 100 women to enter her refuge 1380 01:11:19,276 --> 01:11:21,695 were just as violent as the men they left, 1381 01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:23,530 and violent towards their children. 1382 01:11:37,919 --> 01:11:39,337 Verbally, and... 1383 01:11:41,798 --> 01:11:42,799 you know, very easily, 1384 01:11:43,008 --> 01:11:44,176 and I've had an argument... 1385 01:11:44,342 --> 01:11:45,844 But the feminists I've met 1386 01:11:46,011 --> 01:11:48,305 have an entirely different take on domestic violence. 1387 01:11:56,062 --> 01:11:57,773 On the whole issue of domestic violence... 1388 01:11:57,981 --> 01:11:59,357 That's just another word, really. 1389 01:11:59,566 --> 01:12:01,985 It's a clean-up word about wife beating, 1390 01:12:02,194 --> 01:12:03,379 'cause that's really what it is. 1391 01:12:03,403 --> 01:12:05,071 Or "dating violence." 1392 01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:07,574 And it's not girls that are beating up on boys. 1393 01:12:07,783 --> 01:12:09,409 It's boys that are beating up on girls 1394 01:12:09,618 --> 01:12:12,162 and using violence to intimidate and to control. 1395 01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:14,664 And we have very few 1396 01:12:14,873 --> 01:12:16,792 what's called domestic violence shelters, 1397 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,586 which are places that women can leave their home 1398 01:12:19,795 --> 01:12:22,005 with their children and get a new start, 1399 01:12:22,214 --> 01:12:23,465 get out of the violence. 1400 01:12:23,673 --> 01:12:26,092 But they're not nearly enough of them. 1401 01:12:26,301 --> 01:12:29,095 We need more funding and more resources 1402 01:12:29,304 --> 01:12:34,392 because it is a tremendous disadvantage 1403 01:12:34,601 --> 01:12:35,601 for women and girls. 1404 01:12:47,572 --> 01:12:51,827 In 2014, the coc released a report 1405 01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:56,164 revealing that over 5.4 million men 1406 01:12:56,373 --> 01:12:58,917 and 4.7 million women 1407 01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:02,087 had been victims of intimate partner physical violence 1408 01:13:02,295 --> 01:13:04,548 within the previous 12 months. 1409 01:13:04,756 --> 01:13:06,132 But then why does the media 1410 01:13:06,341 --> 01:13:09,052 paint domestic violence as a women's issue? 1411 01:13:09,261 --> 01:13:10,981 Reporter} The world health organization says 1412 01:13:11,054 --> 01:13:13,640 one in three women are abused by their partner. 1413 01:13:13,849 --> 01:13:17,435 One in three American women experiences domestic violence 1414 01:13:17,644 --> 01:13:19,312 or stalking at some point in her life. 1415 01:13:19,521 --> 01:13:22,232 And when it was addressed as a men's issue, 1416 01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:25,652 the speaker's point was that it's a men's issue 1417 01:13:25,861 --> 01:13:27,863 because men are the problem. 1418 01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:29,197 I'm gonna share with you 1419 01:13:29,406 --> 01:13:31,199 a paradigm shifting perspective 1420 01:13:31,408 --> 01:13:32,701 on the issues of gender violence. 1421 01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:34,269 I don't see these as women's issues 1422 01:13:34,411 --> 01:13:36,246 that some good men help out with. 1423 01:13:36,454 --> 01:13:38,474 In fact, I'm gonna argue that these are men's issues. 1424 01:13:38,498 --> 01:13:40,667 Why is domestic violence still a big problem 1425 01:13:40,876 --> 01:13:42,752 in the United States and all over the world? 1426 01:13:42,961 --> 01:13:45,088 What's going on? Why do so many men abuse physically, 1427 01:13:45,297 --> 01:13:47,257 emotionally, verbally, and in other ways, 1428 01:13:47,465 --> 01:13:49,065 the women and girls, and the men and boys 1429 01:13:49,092 --> 01:13:50,093 that they claim to love? 1430 01:13:50,302 --> 01:13:52,888 What's going on with men? 1431 01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:58,476 Let's Grant every single empirical case as being true. 1432 01:13:58,685 --> 01:14:00,604 Yes, it is true. Let's just say... 1433 01:14:00,812 --> 01:14:04,190 I mean, it is not true, but let's just assume 1434 01:14:04,399 --> 01:14:08,278 that there is gender symmetry in domestic violence, 1435 01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:11,323 that women hit men as much as men hit women. 1436 01:14:11,531 --> 01:14:13,742 If I were to say that, i would say, 1437 01:14:13,950 --> 01:14:18,121 therefore, we need boatloads more funding 1438 01:14:18,330 --> 01:14:20,248 for domestic violence 1439 01:14:20,457 --> 01:14:23,168 to develop shelters and adequate interventions, 1440 01:14:23,376 --> 01:14:24,736 'cause there's this hidden epidemic 1441 01:14:24,920 --> 01:14:27,714 of men who are being beaten up by women. 1442 01:14:27,923 --> 01:14:30,926 Or, I could say, as the men's rights movement do, 1443 01:14:31,134 --> 01:14:32,814 therefore, we shouldn't have these shelters 1444 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,513 and we shouldn't fund them because the women are all lying. 1445 01:14:35,722 --> 01:14:40,727 well, it seems to me, that if you really believe in gender symmetry, 1446 01:14:40,936 --> 01:14:43,146 you're not questioning the number of women. 1447 01:14:43,355 --> 01:14:44,916 You're just saying the number of men is... 1448 01:14:44,940 --> 01:14:46,733 You would want to join with women 1449 01:14:46,942 --> 01:14:48,735 who are antmolence 1450 01:14:48,944 --> 01:14:51,738 to say we have a real problem here. 1451 01:14:51,947 --> 01:14:53,949 It's not even a gender problem. 1452 01:14:54,157 --> 01:14:56,438 It's a problem of women hitting men and men hitting women. 1453 01:14:56,534 --> 01:14:59,955 We've gotta get boatloads more funding. Let's work together. 1454 01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,123 That seems the logical response to this. 1455 01:15:02,332 --> 01:15:04,876 But instead they're saying, it's like a zero sum game. 1456 01:15:05,085 --> 01:15:09,464 If we fund the women, then we're gonna ignore the men. 1457 01:15:09,673 --> 01:15:12,175 Well, we're not... we're not gonna ignore the women, 1458 01:15:12,384 --> 01:15:15,679 'cause we all agree that the levels are as high as we say. 1459 01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:21,351 [Lkyel but 1t does sound like a zero sum game 1460 01:15:21,559 --> 01:15:23,979 when only women are recemng services 1461 01:15:24,187 --> 01:15:28,358 in domestic violence situations. 1462 01:15:28,566 --> 01:15:30,568 And of all the men's rights actmsts I've met, 1463 01:15:30,777 --> 01:15:33,989 none of them question the number of female victims. 1464 01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,117 But they are calling attention to the high number 1465 01:15:36,199 --> 01:15:38,159 of male victims that are being dismissed. 1466 01:15:40,745 --> 01:15:42,747 So why aren't men's rights actmsts 1467 01:15:42,956 --> 01:15:44,958 and feminists working together? 1468 01:15:47,752 --> 01:15:51,589 Michael kimmel briefly said something that made me wonder. 1469 01:15:51,798 --> 01:15:55,218 He said it would no longer be a gender problem 1470 01:15:55,427 --> 01:15:58,346 if both men and women were equally victims 1471 01:15:58,555 --> 01:16:01,224 of domestic violence. 1472 01:16:01,433 --> 01:16:03,393 Is that why the number of male victims 1473 01:16:03,601 --> 01:16:05,228 are never addressed? 1474 01:16:08,565 --> 01:16:11,484 To me, it's been fraud for all these years. 1475 01:16:11,693 --> 01:16:15,822 why is it we have this enormously powerful feminist movement 1476 01:16:16,031 --> 01:16:18,408 and virtually nothing for men? 1477 01:16:18,616 --> 01:16:21,036 Originally, it was capitalism 1478 01:16:21,244 --> 01:16:23,997 was the big enemy in the '60s and '70s. 1479 01:16:24,205 --> 01:16:29,044 And 1t was the radical feminists 1n America that moved the goal post. 1480 01:16:29,252 --> 01:16:31,629 They said, no, it's no longer capitalism is the enemy. 1481 01:16:31,838 --> 01:16:35,258 The enemy is patriarchy... Or men. 1482 01:16:39,804 --> 01:16:42,474 And that's how the women's movement began, 1483 01:16:42,682 --> 01:16:45,018 and it was enormously successful. 1484 01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:51,066 The new mood in the refuges 1485 01:16:51,274 --> 01:16:53,443 was gonna be that no man could work in refuges, 1486 01:16:53,651 --> 01:16:54,736 and can't today. 1487 01:16:54,944 --> 01:16:56,321 They can't sit on the boards. 1488 01:16:56,529 --> 01:16:57,864 And boys over 9, 1489 01:16:58,073 --> 01:17:00,533 or possibly 12, can't so into refuges. 1490 01:17:00,742 --> 01:17:02,285 You call them shelters. 1491 01:17:02,494 --> 01:17:04,472 Their mothers have to make other arrangements for them, 1492 01:17:04,496 --> 01:17:07,248 which I find shocking. 1493 01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:11,002 And it ring-fenced money. 1494 01:17:11,211 --> 01:17:13,713 I think that that particular time 1495 01:17:13,922 --> 01:17:16,002 when the feminist movement were desperate for funding 1496 01:17:16,091 --> 01:17:19,469 'cause they'd run out of publicity... 1497 01:17:19,636 --> 01:17:20,970 They were desperate for funding 1498 01:17:21,179 --> 01:17:23,473 and they needed a just cause. 1499 01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:26,518 And, unfortunately, it fell into their laps. 1500 01:17:26,726 --> 01:17:28,686 It's an enormous industry. 1501 01:17:28,895 --> 01:17:31,189 1 mean, "violence against women," 1502 01:17:31,356 --> 01:17:32,690 they get something like... 1503 01:17:32,899 --> 01:17:34,901 Well, it's a billion and over a year. 1504 01:17:35,110 --> 01:17:36,319 Hmm. 1505 01:17:36,528 --> 01:17:38,905 And an awful lot of that goes on, really, 1506 01:17:39,114 --> 01:17:40,698 supposedly rehabilitating men, 1507 01:17:40,907 --> 01:17:42,325 but essentially punishing them 1508 01:17:42,534 --> 01:17:45,912 with something that's called the duluth model. 1509 01:17:46,121 --> 01:17:48,361 Duluth power and control. Well, you guys know about that? 1510 01:17:48,498 --> 01:17:51,334 - No. - I'll give you a copy. 1511 01:17:51,543 --> 01:17:54,504 In 1977, I think, a bunch of crazy women up in duluth, Minnesota, 1512 01:17:54,671 --> 01:17:56,923 figured out they had the solution to domestic violence 1513 01:17:57,132 --> 01:17:59,134 and it was all about patriarchy 1514 01:17:59,342 --> 01:18:01,511 and all about men. 1515 01:18:01,719 --> 01:18:04,139 It's the duluth power and control wheel, 1516 01:18:04,347 --> 01:18:07,725 'cause men are all about power and control. 1517 01:18:07,934 --> 01:18:09,394 Of course, not you ladies. 1518 01:18:09,602 --> 01:18:11,146 You guys, you don't control anything. 1519 01:18:11,354 --> 01:18:12,772 You have no power. 1520 01:18:12,981 --> 01:18:14,542 You're just sweet and innocent little things. 1521 01:18:14,566 --> 01:18:17,152 Okay, so this power and control wheel 1522 01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:19,195 is dmded up in all these things, 1523 01:18:19,404 --> 01:18:21,132 you know, about who does this and who does that, 1524 01:18:21,156 --> 01:18:23,116 and blah, blah, blah. And of course, it's all men. 1525 01:18:41,342 --> 01:18:44,179 The entire domestic violence industry was founded on that. 1526 01:18:44,387 --> 01:18:45,430 I think it's still 37 1527 01:18:45,638 --> 01:18:46,973 or 32 states in the United States 1528 01:18:47,182 --> 01:18:49,392 that by law they have to use the duluth model 1529 01:18:49,601 --> 01:18:51,311 for batter intervention program. 1530 01:18:51,519 --> 01:18:54,189 It's all shame, blame, and guilt driven. 1531 01:18:54,397 --> 01:18:55,637 If you're a man and you walk in, 1532 01:18:55,773 --> 01:18:57,400 you must admit you did it up front 1533 01:18:57,609 --> 01:18:58,985 or you're in denial. 1534 01:18:59,194 --> 01:19:00,862 There's no debate. There's no discussion. 1535 01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,310 There's no possibility that you could be falsely accused, 1536 01:19:03,489 --> 01:19:05,529 the criminal justice system could've made a mistake. 1537 01:19:05,700 --> 01:19:07,785 None whatsoever. You are in a state of denial, 1538 01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:10,205 and you will complete that course 1539 01:19:10,413 --> 01:19:12,540 or you're gonna go to jail. 1540 01:19:12,749 --> 01:19:15,585 You will be reengineered. 1541 01:19:15,793 --> 01:19:18,171 That's frightening. 1542 01:19:18,379 --> 01:19:20,006 - Frightening? - Yes, that's frightening. 1543 01:19:20,215 --> 01:19:21,507 I think it's terrifying. 1544 01:19:23,718 --> 01:19:26,512 Absolutely terrifying. 1545 01:19:28,223 --> 01:19:29,743 All I had to do, i had a simple choice. 1546 01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:31,226 I could just say, 1547 01:19:31,434 --> 01:19:34,229 "yes, you're right. Men are the enemy." 1548 01:19:34,437 --> 01:19:36,022 No problem. But I couldn't. 1549 01:19:36,231 --> 01:19:37,774 I absolutely couldn't. 1550 01:19:45,657 --> 01:19:49,035 Just getting overwhelmed, 1551 01:19:49,244 --> 01:19:51,037 because... 1552 01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:57,835 I don't know... 1553 01:19:58,044 --> 01:20:01,256 Where I'm headed with what I believe, 1554 01:20:01,464 --> 01:20:03,466 and what is right and what is wrong, 1555 01:20:03,675 --> 01:20:06,219 and who is wrong and who is right and... 1556 01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:18,421 The truth is somewhere in the middle 1557 01:20:18,564 --> 01:20:22,277 and that's why I'm feeling frustrated, 1558 01:20:22,485 --> 01:20:26,489 because... 1559 01:20:26,698 --> 01:20:28,032 I don't know where the truth is, 1560 01:20:28,199 --> 01:20:29,993 and I don't know... 1561 01:20:36,666 --> 01:20:38,668 When I decided to make a film 1562 01:20:38,876 --> 01:20:41,504 on the men's rights movement, 1563 01:20:41,713 --> 01:20:43,506 I never anticipated 1564 01:20:43,715 --> 01:20:46,676 questioning my feminist views. 1565 01:20:46,884 --> 01:20:48,970 But the more mras I met, 1566 01:20:49,178 --> 01:20:50,888 the more I felt compelled 1567 01:20:51,097 --> 01:20:54,309 to remind myself why I was a feminist. 1568 01:20:57,854 --> 01:21:01,482 I signed up for a women's group. 1569 01:21:01,691 --> 01:21:05,111 Welcome to our “women, own your power“ workshop. 1570 01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:10,658 Only four percent of the fortune 50d companies are led by women. 1571 01:21:10,867 --> 01:21:14,704 Women only hold about 14°/o 1572 01:21:14,871 --> 01:21:17,081 of corporate executive positions 1573 01:21:17,290 --> 01:21:22,337 and less than 20°/o of our governmental positions. 1574 01:21:22,545 --> 01:21:24,589 I made video diaries complaining 1575 01:21:24,797 --> 01:21:26,549 about how I had to change what I wore 1576 01:21:26,758 --> 01:21:28,051 to walk alone at night, 1577 01:21:28,217 --> 01:21:32,096 how much time it took me to get ready for work, 1578 01:21:32,305 --> 01:21:34,766 all the housekeeping that was on my shoulders. 1579 01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:36,726 In comparison to other gender issues, 1580 01:21:36,934 --> 01:21:38,811 these videos seem trmal, 1581 01:21:39,020 --> 01:21:41,939 but I made them nonetheless. 1582 01:21:42,148 --> 01:21:45,109 I attended women's rights rallies. 1583 01:21:45,318 --> 01:21:46,486 No to violence. 1584 01:21:46,694 --> 01:21:48,488 That's what we are here for, 1585 01:21:48,696 --> 01:21:51,866 to say no more to violence in any form, 1586 01:21:52,075 --> 01:21:54,369 especially against women and girls. 1587 01:21:59,082 --> 01:22:01,167 I repeated women's issues in my head 1588 01:22:01,376 --> 01:22:03,294 like a broken record... 1589 01:22:03,503 --> 01:22:04,921 Female genital mutilation, 1590 01:22:05,129 --> 01:22:06,839 sex trafficking, reproductive rights, 1591 01:22:07,048 --> 01:22:09,217 maternity leave, 1592 01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:12,637 and social media helped remind me of women's issues. 1593 01:22:12,845 --> 01:22:17,183 We have fought for everybody's else's equal rights. 1594 01:22:17,392 --> 01:22:22,146 It's our time to have wage equality once and for all, 1595 01:22:22,355 --> 01:22:24,190 and equal rights for women 1596 01:22:24,399 --> 01:22:26,150 in the United States of America. 1597 01:22:28,152 --> 01:22:31,614 We are struggling for a uniting word. 1598 01:22:31,823 --> 01:22:33,408 But the good news is 1599 01:22:33,616 --> 01:22:37,203 that we have a uniting movement. 1600 01:22:37,412 --> 01:22:39,038 It is called "he for she." 1601 01:22:48,798 --> 01:22:52,635 Whenever I hear the mras' point of view 1602 01:22:52,844 --> 01:22:54,637 about how difficult it is for them, 1603 01:22:54,846 --> 01:22:57,265 I immediately go to, 1604 01:22:57,473 --> 01:23:00,184 well, what about us? What is like for us? 1605 01:23:00,393 --> 01:23:01,811 And then I get on the defensive 1606 01:23:02,019 --> 01:23:03,771 and want to make sure 1607 01:23:03,980 --> 01:23:07,817 that women's struggles are also heard. 1608 01:23:08,025 --> 01:23:11,237 And I don't know if that's necessary, 1609 01:23:11,446 --> 01:23:13,698 because the mras are saying that 1610 01:23:13,906 --> 01:23:18,244 the feminist perspective is the mainstream perspective. 1611 01:23:18,453 --> 01:23:20,413 But even when I hear their issues, 1612 01:23:20,621 --> 01:23:22,101 I still want to speak up for the women 1613 01:23:22,206 --> 01:23:24,667 because I feel like... I don't know. 1614 01:23:24,876 --> 01:23:27,003 I feel like talking about one gender's issues 1615 01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:28,671 now neglects the other, 1616 01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:30,880 and I guess that's what mras have been dealing with 1617 01:23:30,923 --> 01:23:32,403 is always hearing about women's issues 1618 01:23:32,467 --> 01:23:34,187 and feeling like their issues are neglected. 1619 01:23:34,302 --> 01:23:36,471 But whenever 1 hear them talk about men's issues, 1620 01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:38,681 I feel like I need to stand up for women and say, 1621 01:23:38,890 --> 01:23:39,682 "this is what we're dealing with, 1622 01:23:39,891 --> 01:23:42,268 an equal opposite." 1623 01:23:46,647 --> 01:23:48,858 1 met with men's rights actmst Karen straughan 1624 01:23:49,066 --> 01:23:52,028 late one night in a noisy bar. 1625 01:23:52,236 --> 01:23:55,031 She became well known for her YouTube videos 1626 01:23:55,239 --> 01:23:56,866 talking about male disposability 1627 01:23:57,074 --> 01:23:59,285 and other men's rights issues, 1628 01:23:59,494 --> 01:24:02,038 and she's a honey badger. 1629 01:24:02,246 --> 01:24:03,331 Part of what I do, 1630 01:24:03,539 --> 01:24:04,850 what I research, and what I think about 1631 01:24:04,874 --> 01:24:08,085 is the reason psychologically 1632 01:24:08,294 --> 01:24:10,838 why feminism seems to be 1633 01:24:11,047 --> 01:24:14,091 such a comfortable warm blanket emotionally 1634 01:24:14,300 --> 01:24:17,803 for so many people, men and women alike. 1635 01:24:18,012 --> 01:24:22,892 And it's so comfortable 1636 01:24:23,100 --> 01:24:26,103 that it will make them not see things 1637 01:24:26,312 --> 01:24:27,813 that are right in front of their face. 1638 01:24:28,022 --> 01:24:30,107 Look at boko haram. 1639 01:24:30,316 --> 01:24:33,528 Hundreds 0f young girls fast asleep in their beds 1640 01:24:33,736 --> 01:24:35,988 are awakened by the sound of gunfire. 1641 01:24:36,197 --> 01:24:38,157 Armed attackers have stormed their boarding school 1642 01:24:38,324 --> 01:24:40,701 and set fire to dozens of buildings. 1643 01:24:40,910 --> 01:24:44,705 Nearly 300 of them are dragged from their dorm, loaded on to trucks, 1644 01:24:44,914 --> 01:24:46,999 and carried away deep into the forest. 1645 01:24:47,208 --> 01:24:49,311 Mevoanaa} ...From New York to London rallied yesterday 1646 01:24:49,335 --> 01:24:53,631 demanding that the terrorist group boko haram bring back our girls. 1647 01:24:53,839 --> 01:24:56,175 It just gets to the core of you. 1648 01:24:56,384 --> 01:24:58,261 This unconscionable act 1649 01:24:58,427 --> 01:25:00,680 was committed by a terrorist group 1650 01:25:00,888 --> 01:25:03,808 determined to keep these girls from getting an education. 1651 01:25:04,016 --> 01:25:08,771 And what happened in Nigeria was not an isolated incident. 1652 01:25:08,980 --> 01:25:11,983 It is a story we see every day, 1653 01:25:12,191 --> 01:25:14,569 as girls around the world risk their lives 1654 01:25:14,777 --> 01:25:16,946 to pursue their ambitions. 1655 01:25:17,154 --> 01:25:19,824 I mean, you must have heard about all of that, right? 1656 01:25:20,032 --> 01:25:23,953 That's being spun as a fundamentalist islamic group 1657 01:25:24,161 --> 01:25:27,540 that is so determined to be misogynistic 1658 01:25:27,748 --> 01:25:28,958 and oppress girls 1659 01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:31,252 that they want to deny girls an education. 1660 01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:34,797 But they are not against girls being educated. 1661 01:25:35,006 --> 01:25:40,303 They're against anybody getting a western secular or Christian education. 1662 01:25:40,511 --> 01:25:42,847 The initial attacks, and there were several of them, 1663 01:25:43,055 --> 01:25:45,600 there was one... there were over a hundred men killed 1664 01:25:45,808 --> 01:25:47,727 and one woman killed. 1665 01:25:47,935 --> 01:25:51,731 And the victims were described as "people," right? 1666 01:25:51,939 --> 01:25:53,566 Or "villagers." 1667 01:25:53,774 --> 01:25:57,820 And in the previous attacks on the schools, 1668 01:25:58,029 --> 01:26:00,406 they actually let the girls go. 1669 01:26:00,615 --> 01:26:03,409 They separated out the boys and the girls 1670 01:26:03,618 --> 01:26:06,203 and they let the girls go, and they told them, 1671 01:26:06,412 --> 01:26:09,582 "go home, get married, 1672 01:26:09,790 --> 01:26:11,792 renounce your sins, 1673 01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:15,630 and live a righteous life under Allah," right? 1674 01:26:15,838 --> 01:26:18,633 And then they burned the boys alive. 1675 01:26:18,841 --> 01:26:21,427 There was literally no outrage. 1676 01:26:21,636 --> 01:26:23,471 It was barely reported on. 1677 01:26:23,679 --> 01:26:26,033 It was one of those things, there was no opinion pieces on it, 1678 01:26:26,057 --> 01:26:27,433 no nothing, right? 1679 01:26:27,642 --> 01:26:30,436 Until the girls were kidnapped. 1680 01:26:30,645 --> 01:26:31,854 And look at it this way, 1681 01:26:32,063 --> 01:26:34,023 because we played right into their hands. 1682 01:26:34,231 --> 01:26:36,442 Because they want attention, right? 1683 01:26:36,651 --> 01:26:40,237 And they weren't getting any attention from the western media 1684 01:26:40,446 --> 01:26:42,365 when they were just slaughtering boys. 1685 01:26:42,573 --> 01:26:44,450 - Yeah. - Right? 1686 01:26:44,659 --> 01:26:46,118 They want attention. 1687 01:26:46,327 --> 01:26:48,245 And what do they do? They kidnap girls 1688 01:26:48,454 --> 01:26:51,207 and sell them into marriage or slavery, right? 1689 01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:54,251 And everybody... the U.N., 1690 01:26:54,460 --> 01:26:56,796 Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, 1691 01:26:57,004 --> 01:27:00,466 the U.K. Government, the Canadian federal minister of defense, 1692 01:27:00,675 --> 01:27:03,469 they're all promising aid and help and equipment 1693 01:27:03,678 --> 01:27:07,056 and personnel to help find these girls and bring them back, 1694 01:27:07,264 --> 01:27:08,808 because this is such an outrage, 1695 01:27:09,016 --> 01:27:11,310 and, "oh, my goodness, something needs to be done." 1696 01:27:11,519 --> 01:27:15,314 Well, maybe if, like, last year, 1697 01:27:15,523 --> 01:27:17,483 maybe if we did something then, 1698 01:27:17,692 --> 01:27:22,863 all of these girls would be safe 1n their dorms right now, right? 1699 01:27:23,072 --> 01:27:24,365 But we didn't. 1700 01:27:24,573 --> 01:27:26,701 And the reason why they kidnapped those girls 1701 01:27:26,909 --> 01:27:28,661 is because we didn't do anything. 1702 01:27:28,869 --> 01:27:32,873 We didn't pay attention, and they want attention. 1703 01:27:33,082 --> 01:27:35,918 And they know that attacking girls or women 1704 01:27:36,127 --> 01:27:38,713 is gonna get them attention. 1705 01:27:38,921 --> 01:27:42,591 What are we gonna do? Start a campaign, “bring back our boys“? 1706 01:27:42,800 --> 01:27:46,929 Oh, wait, they're dead. Never mind, right? 1707 01:27:47,138 --> 01:27:50,307 The men... The people in boko haram, 1708 01:27:50,516 --> 01:27:52,685 they're chivalrous. 1709 01:27:52,893 --> 01:27:54,520 If those girls were boys, 1710 01:27:54,729 --> 01:27:56,313 they wouldn't be getting education, 1711 01:27:56,522 --> 01:27:58,858 they'd be dead. 1712 01:27:59,066 --> 01:28:00,386 They wouldn't be sold into slavery 1713 01:28:00,526 --> 01:28:04,321 with the hope of escape. They'd be dead. 1714 01:28:04,530 --> 01:28:05,906 Boko haram has been fighting 1715 01:28:06,115 --> 01:28:09,910 for islamic rule in Nigeria since 2002. 1716 01:28:10,119 --> 01:28:12,288 Its members have killed hundreds of people. 1717 01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:27,553 ♪ Finally, brother, after a while... 1718 01:28:27,762 --> 01:28:29,138 At least 69 dead, 1719 01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:31,766 although some reports put the number at about 150 1720 01:28:31,974 --> 01:28:34,685 and scores more injured. 1721 01:28:34,894 --> 01:28:39,148 ♪ For that day when we shall lay down our burden 1722 01:28:39,356 --> 01:28:44,153 ♪ and study war no more 1723 01:28:44,361 --> 01:28:48,783 ♪ finally, brother, after a while 1724 01:28:48,991 --> 01:28:52,787 ♪ the battle will be over 1725 01:28:52,995 --> 01:28:57,583 ♪ for that day when we shall lay down our burden 1726 01:28:57,792 --> 01:29:02,379 ♪ and study war no more 1727 01:29:02,588 --> 01:29:07,009 ♪ finally, brother, after a while 1728 01:29:07,218 --> 01:29:11,180 ♪ the battle will be over 1729 01:29:11,388 --> 01:29:15,810 ♪ for that day when we shall lay down our burden 1730 01:29:16,018 --> 01:29:20,606 ♪ and study war no more 1731 01:29:20,815 --> 01:29:25,194 ♪ finally, brother, after a while 1732 01:29:25,361 --> 01:29:29,406 ♪ the battle will be over 1733 01:29:29,615 --> 01:29:34,036 ♪ for that day when we shall lay down our burden 1734 01:29:34,245 --> 01:29:38,833 ♪ and study war no more 1735 01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:43,629 ♪ finally, brother, after a while 1736 01:29:43,838 --> 01:29:47,633 ♪ the battle will be over 1737 01:29:47,842 --> 01:29:52,221 ♪ for that day when we should lay down our burden 1738 01:29:52,429 --> 01:29:55,808 ♪ and study war no more 1739 01:29:59,562 --> 01:30:02,064 one of the most important things the men's movement is doing 1740 01:30:02,273 --> 01:30:06,235 is being able to say men need compassion 1741 01:30:06,443 --> 01:30:09,363 and men deserve compassion. 1742 01:30:09,572 --> 01:30:11,657 And to have that happen, 1743 01:30:11,866 --> 01:30:14,201 I'm not expecting it in my lifetime. 1744 01:30:16,036 --> 01:30:18,372 It's an ocean of pain out there. 1745 01:30:18,581 --> 01:30:21,876 This stuff we're talking about 1746 01:30:22,084 --> 01:30:25,921 has been going on for so long, 1747 01:30:26,130 --> 01:30:30,885 and nobody listens, nobody cares. 1748 01:30:31,093 --> 01:30:36,473 It's one thing when you look at what happens to women 1749 01:30:36,682 --> 01:30:39,560 and you feel normal healthy outrage about it, 1750 01:30:39,768 --> 01:30:41,437 and that should happen. 1751 01:30:41,645 --> 01:30:43,081 But when you can look at what's happening 1752 01:30:43,105 --> 01:30:44,607 in our courts to men, 1753 01:30:44,815 --> 01:30:46,901 in our medical establishment to men, 1754 01:30:47,109 --> 01:30:48,903 in our schools to men, 1755 01:30:49,111 --> 01:30:51,947 and yet we remain so cerebral about all of it, 1756 01:30:52,114 --> 01:30:55,910 yes, well, that is certainly something to consider. 1757 01:30:56,118 --> 01:30:59,038 If it were happening to any other group, 1758 01:30:59,246 --> 01:31:02,207 we would be having protests from coast to coast. 1759 01:31:02,416 --> 01:31:05,419 And the fact is that it is happening to men 1760 01:31:05,628 --> 01:31:07,922 every day right in front of our eyes, 1761 01:31:08,130 --> 01:31:11,300 and people will get angry at you if you try to talk about it. 1762 01:31:11,508 --> 01:31:14,136 That's how deep the prejudice runs. 1763 01:31:14,345 --> 01:31:15,888 ♪ No more 1764 01:31:18,098 --> 01:31:20,643 but there have been protests, 1765 01:31:20,851 --> 01:31:24,521 not with the intention of shining light on men's issues, 1766 01:31:24,730 --> 01:31:26,941 but rather with the goal of silencing 1767 01:31:27,149 --> 01:31:30,736 any discussion of men's issues. 1768 01:31:30,945 --> 01:31:32,529 Like at Ottawa university, 1769 01:31:32,738 --> 01:31:35,574 when professor Janice flamengo attempted to give a lecture 1770 01:31:35,783 --> 01:31:38,786 that questioned the feminist narrative. 1771 01:31:38,994 --> 01:31:40,329 We'll take a moment 1772 01:31:40,496 --> 01:31:44,792 until we enforce some decorum in the room. 1773 01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:46,961 So you think this is a victory? 1774 01:31:47,169 --> 01:31:48,545 What are you so frightened of... 1775 01:31:48,754 --> 01:31:50,339 Yeah, why are you so frightened 1776 01:31:50,506 --> 01:31:53,759 of hearing an opinion different from your own? 1777 01:31:53,968 --> 01:31:56,011 Then there was the first international conference 1778 01:31:56,220 --> 01:31:59,306 on men's issues in Michigan, 1779 01:31:59,515 --> 01:32:01,850 where even "Ms. magazine" urged its readers 1780 01:32:02,059 --> 01:32:05,229 to protest the conference in hopes of shutting it down. 1781 01:32:18,951 --> 01:32:21,370 But perhaps the most well known protest 1782 01:32:21,578 --> 01:32:23,455 of a pro men's rights event 1783 01:32:23,664 --> 01:32:27,876 happened in April, 2013, at the university of Toronto, 1784 01:32:28,085 --> 01:32:30,212 when the Canadian association for equality 1785 01:32:30,421 --> 01:32:32,589 hosted a discussion titled 1786 01:32:32,798 --> 01:32:37,011 "from misogyny and misandry to intersexual dialogue." 1787 01:32:51,984 --> 01:32:54,028 Fuck the patriarchy! 1788 01:32:56,822 --> 01:32:58,824 Women hold up half the sky! 1789 01:33:01,035 --> 01:33:03,037 Women hold up half the sky! 1790 01:33:04,997 --> 01:33:06,707 Women hold up half the sky! 1791 01:33:09,251 --> 01:33:11,837 Women hold up half the sky! 1792 01:33:13,839 --> 01:33:16,467 A feminist group protesting the event 1793 01:33:16,675 --> 01:33:18,260 illegally pulled the fire alarm 1794 01:33:18,469 --> 01:33:20,721 and successfully shut down the event. 1795 01:33:31,023 --> 01:33:34,860 Okay, let's go. We got a fire alarm! 1796 01:33:35,069 --> 01:33:36,695 Once outside the lecture hall, 1797 01:33:36,904 --> 01:33:39,364 feminist protesters and men's rights actmsts 1798 01:33:39,573 --> 01:33:42,451 got to speak face to face. 1799 01:33:42,659 --> 01:33:44,661 So, number one. Number one! 1800 01:33:44,870 --> 01:33:47,873 Shut the fuck up for a second. 1801 01:33:48,082 --> 01:33:51,043 Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. 1802 01:33:51,251 --> 01:33:53,962 The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers 1803 01:33:54,171 --> 01:33:56,757 is part of patriarchy. 1804 01:33:56,965 --> 01:33:58,467 Feminists do not like commercials 1805 01:33:58,675 --> 01:34:00,594 in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry 1806 01:34:00,803 --> 01:34:03,347 and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. 1807 01:34:03,555 --> 01:34:07,935 The assumption that women... This is a list 1808 01:34:08,143 --> 01:34:09,978 of the things that we're working toward. 1809 01:34:10,187 --> 01:34:11,897 Now if you would shut the fuck up 1810 01:34:12,106 --> 01:34:13,899 for the 50th billionth time... 1811 01:34:14,108 --> 01:34:15,502 These are things we agree on, actually. 1812 01:34:15,526 --> 01:34:17,903 These are things that we're agreeing on, 1813 01:34:18,112 --> 01:34:21,323 and these are things you've all got skewed fucking views on. 1814 01:34:21,532 --> 01:34:24,326 You think that feminists are trying to take away your fucking rights, 1815 01:34:24,535 --> 01:34:26,703 but as a matter of fact, what we're trying to do 1816 01:34:26,912 --> 01:34:29,057 1s we're actually trying to work on the same things that you're working on, 1817 01:34:29,081 --> 01:34:30,624 except the fact that you're so... 1818 01:34:30,833 --> 01:34:32,334 You're just too busy hating women... 1819 01:34:32,543 --> 01:34:34,461 You're a fucking hate group. 1820 01:34:34,670 --> 01:34:36,272 You can't see we're trying to work on those same situations. 1821 01:34:36,296 --> 01:34:38,966 Are you conflating feminism, which is an ideology, 1822 01:34:39,174 --> 01:34:41,885 with women, which is a demographic of society? 1823 01:34:42,094 --> 01:34:43,446 Okay, mister derailing for dummies. 1824 01:34:43,470 --> 01:34:45,070 So, really, your hatred is for feminists. 1825 01:34:45,139 --> 01:34:47,808 - You're still a hate group. - An ideology, yes. 1826 01:34:48,016 --> 01:34:49,536 I hate also hate a lot of other "isms". 1827 01:34:49,643 --> 01:34:51,436 - So you admit, though. - Racism, sexism. 1828 01:34:51,645 --> 01:34:53,147 Oh, bullshit, bullshit. 1829 01:34:53,355 --> 01:34:55,357 Bullshit, you hate sexism, but you're an mra. 1830 01:34:55,566 --> 01:34:57,943 Okay, no. Point taken. We... like, we win. 1831 01:34:58,152 --> 01:34:59,712 You obviously haven't read our literature. 1832 01:34:59,736 --> 01:35:01,238 Sorry. Okay! 1833 01:35:01,446 --> 01:35:03,532 You don't actually work on anything. 1834 01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:05,620 You're creating any change in the fucking world. 1835 01:35:05,701 --> 01:35:07,061 Your website, your fucking website, 1836 01:35:07,161 --> 01:35:08,579 the hate website against feminists... 1837 01:35:08,787 --> 01:35:10,014 You're not actually creating any change. 1838 01:35:10,038 --> 01:35:12,541 Feminists do not want you 1839 01:35:12,749 --> 01:35:14,168 to have to make alimony payments. 1840 01:35:14,376 --> 01:35:16,503 Alimony is set up to combat the fact 1841 01:35:16,712 --> 01:35:18,352 that women have been historically expected 1842 01:35:18,380 --> 01:35:21,175 to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, 1843 01:35:21,383 --> 01:35:22,968 thus minimizing their earning potential 1844 01:35:23,177 --> 01:35:24,553 if their traditional marriages end. 1845 01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:26,597 I'm right here. You don't have to yell. 1846 01:35:26,805 --> 01:35:28,974 I'm reading, fuckface. 1847 01:35:29,183 --> 01:35:30,994 - It's for the fucking camera. - I'm trying to fucking... 1848 01:35:31,018 --> 01:35:33,187 I'm letting everyone else hear it, okay? 1849 01:35:33,395 --> 01:35:35,647 It's not just for you, mister entitled. 1850 01:35:35,856 --> 01:35:38,192 The assumption that wives should... 1851 01:35:38,400 --> 01:35:40,611 Why do you think the men's rights movement 1852 01:35:40,777 --> 01:35:42,905 is at odds with feminism? 1853 01:35:43,113 --> 01:35:46,450 What has created that clash, that war between each other? 1854 01:35:46,658 --> 01:35:50,787 Well, one, feminism has spent the last 5o years 1855 01:35:50,954 --> 01:35:54,124 demonizing men, which 1s sort of one of the problems. 1856 01:35:54,333 --> 01:35:56,793 Feminist scholars have characterized men 1857 01:35:57,002 --> 01:35:59,296 as inherently violent, inherently bad, 1858 01:35:59,504 --> 01:36:02,132 inherently predatory, inherently oppressive. 1859 01:36:02,341 --> 01:36:05,761 They have postulated that masculinity is a disease. 1860 01:36:05,969 --> 01:36:09,306 Feminists aren't the only problem. 1861 01:36:09,514 --> 01:36:11,516 The problems didn't start with feminism. 1862 01:36:11,725 --> 01:36:13,810 So when I start criticizing feminism, 1863 01:36:14,019 --> 01:36:19,233 1 want you to know you're just part of the problem. 1864 01:36:19,441 --> 01:36:20,859 They're just part of the problem. 1865 01:36:21,068 --> 01:36:23,820 You calling men oppressors 1866 01:36:24,029 --> 01:36:27,449 and women oppressed demonizes men, 1867 01:36:27,658 --> 01:36:30,619 and I believe diminishes women at the same time. 1868 01:36:30,786 --> 01:36:32,663 It's a way of telling men to shut up. 1869 01:36:32,871 --> 01:36:34,081 It's a way of telling men 1870 01:36:34,289 --> 01:36:35,791 that their experiences don't matter. 1871 01:36:35,999 --> 01:36:37,960 You tell a man he's prmleged, 1872 01:36:38,168 --> 01:36:40,337 therefore, anything he's gone through 1873 01:36:40,545 --> 01:36:42,464 or anything he has to say doesn't matter. 1874 01:36:42,673 --> 01:36:44,258 His lived experiences don't matter 1875 01:36:44,466 --> 01:36:45,676 because he's prmleged. 1876 01:36:49,638 --> 01:36:52,516 So how old were you when you started calling yourself a feminist? 1877 01:36:52,724 --> 01:36:54,851 Or how many years ago? 1878 01:36:55,060 --> 01:36:59,064 It was probably, about three years agc, I guess you can say. 1879 01:36:59,273 --> 01:37:01,775 I'm relatively new, yeah. 1880 01:37:01,984 --> 01:37:04,278 But I'm pretty loud, so... 1881 01:37:04,486 --> 01:37:07,447 Silence only helps the oppressor, not the oppressed. 1882 01:37:07,656 --> 01:37:09,283 A lot of mras say that feminism 1883 01:37:09,491 --> 01:37:11,493 doesn't fight for the rights of men. 1884 01:37:11,702 --> 01:37:13,078 What would you say to that? 1885 01:37:13,287 --> 01:37:15,247 Cry me a river, really, 1886 01:37:15,455 --> 01:37:17,624 because feminism is a movement 1887 01:37:17,833 --> 01:37:19,960 about the discrepancies 1888 01:37:20,168 --> 01:37:23,714 when it comes to women's equality. 1889 01:37:23,922 --> 01:37:26,800 Because we're not up. We're still not there yet. 1890 01:37:27,009 --> 01:37:30,304 You know, don't even start with that whole 1891 01:37:30,512 --> 01:37:32,282 "oh, but you don't think about the men's issue." 1892 01:37:32,306 --> 01:37:33,765 Well, then you know what? 1893 01:37:33,974 --> 01:37:36,101 Start your own goddamn movement, which they have, 1894 01:37:36,310 --> 01:37:39,396 but maybe make 1t a little more about legitimate issues 1895 01:37:39,604 --> 01:37:41,690 like custody and alimony 1896 01:37:41,898 --> 01:37:43,900 and things that you think are unequal, 1897 01:37:44,109 --> 01:37:45,986 which all stem from patriarchy, 1898 01:37:46,194 --> 01:37:48,030 not from, "oh, my god, 1899 01:37:48,238 --> 01:37:50,699 feminists are trying to take away our kids." 1900 01:37:50,866 --> 01:37:52,534 No, dipshit. 1901 01:37:52,743 --> 01:37:54,202 That's not what we're trying to do. 1902 01:37:54,411 --> 01:37:55,746 We're not trying to do that. 1903 01:37:55,912 --> 01:37:58,790 I mean, if they look at the root causes of why, 1904 01:37:58,999 --> 01:38:04,546 for example, women get custody more often than men do, 1905 01:38:04,755 --> 01:38:06,465 women are supposed to be the mothers. 1906 01:38:06,673 --> 01:38:08,800 They're supposed to be the natural born caregivers. 1907 01:38:09,009 --> 01:38:11,553 So, obviously, duh, you has a vagina, 1908 01:38:11,762 --> 01:38:14,723 so, obviously, you're gonna be able to take care of the kiddies. 1909 01:38:14,931 --> 01:38:16,350 That's really what it is. 1910 01:38:16,558 --> 01:38:18,935 It all stems from sexism against women. 1911 01:38:19,144 --> 01:38:24,358 It's just, the oppression dialectic needs to go. 1912 01:38:24,566 --> 01:38:28,153 It's so hard to convince people 1913 01:38:28,362 --> 01:38:30,864 to look at men's rights actmsm and support it 1914 01:38:31,073 --> 01:38:35,118 without first allowing them to at least escape 1915 01:38:35,327 --> 01:38:39,915 the stranglehold that feminism has on their minds. 1916 01:38:40,123 --> 01:38:43,668 I do believe it is dogma. It's zealotry. 1917 01:38:43,877 --> 01:38:46,922 There are good people in the feminist movement. 1918 01:38:48,757 --> 01:38:50,592 Um... 1919 01:38:50,801 --> 01:38:51,843 There are not good people 1920 01:38:52,052 --> 01:38:53,553 in the radical feminist movement. 1921 01:38:55,555 --> 01:38:58,975 Um... 1922 01:38:59,184 --> 01:39:01,395 That system is based on hate, 1923 01:39:01,603 --> 01:39:03,605 and hate... in my opinion, 1924 01:39:03,814 --> 01:39:05,982 hate's the most destructive force in the world. 1925 01:39:06,191 --> 01:39:08,527 They're so quick to call us 1926 01:39:08,735 --> 01:39:10,779 man-haters or misandrists. 1927 01:39:10,946 --> 01:39:13,198 Misandry for life. No. 1928 01:39:13,407 --> 01:39:14,616 They're so quick to say that, 1929 01:39:14,825 --> 01:39:16,493 when all we're doing is talking about 1930 01:39:16,701 --> 01:39:18,954 patriarchal societies and structures 1931 01:39:19,162 --> 01:39:22,374 that we want to dismantle. 1932 01:39:22,624 --> 01:39:24,626 Nothing against men in particular, 1933 01:39:24,835 --> 01:39:27,116 but just saying, hey, this is the system that we live in 1934 01:39:27,212 --> 01:39:28,797 and this puts men above women. 1935 01:39:29,005 --> 01:39:30,799 And it's not necessarily their fault, 1936 01:39:30,966 --> 01:39:33,009 but, hey, recognize what's happening here 1937 01:39:33,218 --> 01:39:35,220 and let's work together to dismantle it. 1938 01:39:35,429 --> 01:39:39,224 The omnipotent, ever-present patriarchy, 1939 01:39:39,433 --> 01:39:42,811 the invisible force that directs 1940 01:39:43,019 --> 01:39:45,272 all of our lives, right? 1941 01:39:45,480 --> 01:39:49,025 And causes all oppression and all suffering, right? 1942 01:39:49,234 --> 01:39:51,528 Our devil. 1943 01:39:51,736 --> 01:39:56,366 And the beautiful, wonderful force for justice... 1944 01:39:56,575 --> 01:39:59,035 Feminism, the way. 1945 01:39:59,244 --> 01:40:01,538 It's the way. 1946 01:40:01,746 --> 01:40:05,083 It sounds like religion. It sounds like religion. 1947 01:40:08,420 --> 01:40:09,671 And, oh, my goodness, 1948 01:40:09,880 --> 01:40:12,591 for a moment that's only about equality 1949 01:40:12,799 --> 01:40:14,259 and isn't blaming of men, 1950 01:40:14,468 --> 01:40:17,053 they named the force for evil after men 1951 01:40:17,262 --> 01:40:19,389 and the force for justice after women. 1952 01:41:07,687 --> 01:41:09,898 They're really angry, and they're angry at women, 1953 01:41:10,106 --> 01:41:12,192 they're angry at feminist women. 1954 01:41:12,400 --> 01:41:16,112 Yes, men have gotten a crappy deal, 1955 01:41:16,321 --> 01:41:19,407 but it's not the fault of women or gay people. 1956 01:41:19,616 --> 01:41:23,119 when feminism says that they have no part in any of this, 1957 01:41:23,328 --> 01:41:26,081 I think they're not being honest about it. 1958 01:41:26,289 --> 01:41:28,333 I don't blame feminism for all of it, 1959 01:41:28,542 --> 01:41:30,544 but I think they've had a role in it. 1960 01:41:30,752 --> 01:41:32,921 They've written laws that discriminate against men. 1961 01:41:33,129 --> 01:41:35,131 They've fought to protect those laws, 1962 01:41:35,340 --> 01:41:37,551 particularly in domestic violence areas. 1963 01:41:37,759 --> 01:41:40,929 And for many, many years, second wave feminism 1964 01:41:41,096 --> 01:41:42,556 would go through the statutes 1965 01:41:42,764 --> 01:41:44,933 and change everything that was gender specific 1966 01:41:45,141 --> 01:41:46,643 to something gender neutral 1967 01:41:46,851 --> 01:41:48,611 unless it was something that benefited women, 1968 01:41:48,770 --> 01:41:50,146 like the domestic violence laws. 1969 01:41:50,355 --> 01:41:52,232 They didn't change those. 1970 01:41:52,440 --> 01:41:54,568 Other types of areas, like fathers in prison, 1971 01:41:54,776 --> 01:41:57,571 there are statutes that specifically give mothers certain benefits 1972 01:41:57,779 --> 01:42:00,156 that fathers in prison don't have. 1973 01:42:00,365 --> 01:42:01,759 And I challenged that as well, legally, 1974 01:42:01,783 --> 01:42:03,076 but we didn't win on that one. 1975 01:42:03,285 --> 01:42:05,036 When I wanted to get a commission on men 1976 01:42:05,245 --> 01:42:06,885 like the county has a commission on women, 1977 01:42:07,038 --> 01:42:10,166 the feminists fought that tooth and nail. 1978 01:42:10,375 --> 01:42:13,962 When prop 209 was before the California voters, 1979 01:42:14,170 --> 01:42:16,089 which was to end affirmative action, 1980 01:42:16,298 --> 01:42:20,594 every feminist organization opposed it. 1981 01:42:20,802 --> 01:42:22,846 Every time men's rights groups 1982 01:42:23,054 --> 01:42:25,599 try to pass joint custody legislation, 1983 01:42:25,807 --> 01:42:27,601 feminist groups fight them. 1984 01:42:27,809 --> 01:42:30,061 They fought us on paternity fraud. 1985 01:42:30,270 --> 01:42:33,148 The biggest opposition that I have faced 1986 01:42:33,356 --> 01:42:35,984 has been from the radical feminists that said, 1987 01:42:36,151 --> 01:42:38,403 "we don't want truth to be the standard." 1988 01:42:38,612 --> 01:42:41,197 Because if we did, they wouldn't oppose 1989 01:42:41,406 --> 01:42:43,408 automatic DNA testing at birth. 1990 01:42:43,617 --> 01:42:46,202 And in countries like France, 1991 01:42:46,411 --> 01:42:50,332 they're saying, "well, DNA should mean 'do not ask,"' 1992 01:42:50,540 --> 01:42:54,002 'cause it's now illegal to even get a test. 1993 01:42:54,210 --> 01:42:58,089 And if you get a test without the mother's permission, 1994 01:42:58,298 --> 01:42:59,924 you will be criminally prosecuted. 1995 01:43:03,178 --> 01:43:06,556 In sweden, they tried to create a man tax. 1996 01:43:06,765 --> 01:43:09,225 In India, the men's rights movement is trying to get 1997 01:43:09,434 --> 01:43:12,854 the rape laws to include male victims, 1998 01:43:13,063 --> 01:43:16,441 and the feminist groups apparently are fighting that. 1999 01:43:16,650 --> 01:43:18,860 I'm not saying all feminists are this way. 2000 01:43:19,069 --> 01:43:23,448 But I think the ones who are affecting public policy, 2001 01:43:23,657 --> 01:43:26,534 who have the lobbying power, i think they are. 2002 01:43:26,743 --> 01:43:28,662 If you just look at their actions, 2003 01:43:28,870 --> 01:43:30,622 they don't want equality for women. 2004 01:43:30,830 --> 01:43:34,459 They want special prmleges for women and girls. 2005 01:43:34,668 --> 01:43:37,462 And even though they know in a lot of areas 2006 01:43:37,671 --> 01:43:41,091 men do not have equality, they are silent. 2007 01:43:43,218 --> 01:43:44,498 The commander of the marine corps 2008 01:43:44,636 --> 01:43:46,054 said that he thinks, and I quote, 2009 01:43:46,221 --> 01:43:48,682 “ all eligible and qualified men and women 2010 01:43:48,890 --> 01:43:50,090 should register for the draft," 2011 01:43:50,141 --> 01:43:51,476 talking about selective service. 2012 01:43:51,685 --> 01:43:53,603 Do you think women should also have to register 2013 01:43:53,812 --> 01:43:55,397 for selective service like men? 2014 01:43:55,605 --> 01:43:59,275 I have to think about whether i think it's necessary 2015 01:43:59,484 --> 01:44:05,240 to go as far as our military officers are recommending. 2016 01:44:05,448 --> 01:44:09,577 The idea of having everybody register 2017 01:44:09,786 --> 01:44:11,162 concerns me a little bit, 2018 01:44:11,371 --> 01:44:13,039 unless we have a better idea 2019 01:44:13,248 --> 01:44:14,666 of where that's gonna come out. 2020 01:44:14,874 --> 01:44:16,501 Where I want people to register, 2021 01:44:16,710 --> 01:44:19,421 I want every young person to register at the age of 18 2022 01:44:19,587 --> 01:44:21,172 to be able to vote automatically. 2023 01:44:21,381 --> 01:44:23,508 And I think if... 2024 01:44:28,638 --> 01:44:30,098 What's the motivation? 2025 01:44:30,306 --> 01:44:31,933 People don't ask, what's the motivation? 2026 01:44:32,142 --> 01:44:33,285 Do we need a men's rights moment? 2027 01:44:33,309 --> 01:44:36,104 No. We need common sense. 2028 01:44:36,271 --> 01:44:38,523 But if there's gonna be this woman's movement 2029 01:44:38,732 --> 01:44:41,943 and this is the movement that's gonna do all these things, 2030 01:44:42,152 --> 01:44:43,945 then maybe we need a counterbalance, 2031 01:44:44,154 --> 01:44:45,947 something called a men's rights movement, 2032 01:44:46,156 --> 01:44:48,116 or men's movement. 2033 01:44:48,324 --> 01:44:50,118 I hate to see either one of them. 2034 01:44:50,326 --> 01:44:52,912 I think it's a shame. I think it's destructive. 2035 01:45:01,296 --> 01:45:05,341 I'm hearing what the men's rights actmsts are saying. 2036 01:45:05,550 --> 01:45:07,051 And I'm finding the sources 2037 01:45:07,260 --> 01:45:09,137 to support what they're saying. 2038 01:45:09,345 --> 01:45:11,765 Men are just as likely to be victims 2039 01:45:11,973 --> 01:45:15,143 of intimate partner physical violence. 2040 01:45:15,351 --> 01:45:19,397 Men have little to no control over their parental destiny, 2041 01:45:19,606 --> 01:45:22,066 especially when he's tricked into fatherhood 2042 01:45:22,275 --> 01:45:23,568 or he's raising a child 2043 01:45:23,777 --> 01:45:27,155 that he later finds out isn't his. 2044 01:45:27,363 --> 01:45:29,574 The sentencing disparity between men and women 2045 01:45:29,783 --> 01:45:32,994 is six times larger than the sentencing disparity 2046 01:45:33,203 --> 01:45:36,039 between blacks and whites. 2047 01:45:36,247 --> 01:45:38,374 So while a black man may be sentenced 2048 01:45:38,583 --> 01:45:40,376 to ten percent more prison time 2049 01:45:40,585 --> 01:45:43,588 for the same crime as a white man, 2050 01:45:43,797 --> 01:45:48,009 a man is sentenced to over 60°/o more prison time 2051 01:45:48,218 --> 01:45:51,054 than a woman arrested for the same crime. 2052 01:45:52,764 --> 01:45:55,391 Boys are falling behind in education. 2053 01:45:55,600 --> 01:45:57,811 They are enrolling at lower rates 2054 01:45:58,019 --> 01:46:01,397 and earning less college degrees. 2055 01:46:01,606 --> 01:46:04,108 And while not all mras agree on the issue 2056 01:46:04,317 --> 01:46:06,402 of infant male circumcision, 2057 01:46:06,611 --> 01:46:11,199 most mras do believe it is a human rights violation. 2058 01:46:11,366 --> 01:46:14,702 I spent months learning about infant male circumcision, 2059 01:46:14,911 --> 01:46:17,455 but it only took me watching a five-minute 2060 01:46:17,664 --> 01:46:20,708 medical training video to convince me 2061 01:46:20,917 --> 01:46:24,003 this is a barbaric practice that needs to stop. 2062 01:46:24,212 --> 01:46:27,048 Okay, so first thing, make sure he's well restrained. 2063 01:46:27,257 --> 01:46:30,426 So the foreskin. Okay? 2064 01:46:30,635 --> 01:46:33,638 And we repeat the process with just one end on and clamp. 2065 01:46:33,847 --> 01:46:35,515 Anything that gets clamped gets cut. 2066 01:46:35,723 --> 01:46:37,225 All that was left, a partial penis 2067 01:46:37,433 --> 01:46:39,143 and his tiny testicles. 2068 01:46:39,352 --> 01:46:43,064 Rhodes says Ashton urinates through a hole in his penis. 2069 01:46:43,273 --> 01:46:45,650 She says she can't imagine now what she'll say to her son 2070 01:46:45,859 --> 01:46:47,044 when he's old enough to understand 2071 01:46:47,068 --> 01:46:48,152 what's happened to him. 2072 01:46:48,361 --> 01:46:50,071 How could you explain it to your child 2073 01:46:50,280 --> 01:46:51,531 that you don't have a penis 2074 01:46:51,739 --> 01:46:54,325 or you might never be able to have kids? 2075 01:47:03,251 --> 01:47:05,461 Yes, men are the majority 2076 01:47:05,670 --> 01:47:08,590 of workplace deaths and injuries, 2077 01:47:08,798 --> 01:47:13,469 war deaths, suicides. 2078 01:47:13,678 --> 01:47:15,638 They have a shorter life expectancy. 2079 01:47:18,224 --> 01:47:19,504 Warren Farrell makes the argument 2080 01:47:19,684 --> 01:47:21,269 that prostate cancer and breast cancer 2081 01:47:21,436 --> 01:47:24,272 mortality rates are similar, 2082 01:47:24,480 --> 01:47:26,482 but funding disproportionately supports 2083 01:47:26,691 --> 01:47:28,902 breast cancer research and awareness 2084 01:47:29,110 --> 01:47:30,653 over prostate cancer. 2085 01:47:34,282 --> 01:47:38,703 The red pill is about looking at these issues 2086 01:47:38,912 --> 01:47:41,664 in an honest way, even when it's uncomfortable. 2087 01:47:41,873 --> 01:47:44,042 And these things are uncomfortable. 2088 01:47:44,250 --> 01:47:49,088 But without the willingness 2089 01:47:49,297 --> 01:47:51,507 to set aside the programming 2090 01:47:51,716 --> 01:47:54,510 and to set aside the false beliefs about what power 1s 2091 01:47:54,719 --> 01:47:57,597 and what women are and who women are... 2092 01:47:57,805 --> 01:48:02,560 Part of what we do is a pretty serious critique of both sexes. 2093 01:48:02,769 --> 01:48:04,020 It's brutal. 2094 01:48:04,228 --> 01:48:06,022 But critiquing the sexes 2095 01:48:06,230 --> 01:48:08,316 is a real valuable thing. 2096 01:48:08,524 --> 01:48:11,152 Feminists don't want you to do it, though, 2097 01:48:11,361 --> 01:48:13,081 unless you're portraying women as the victim 2098 01:48:13,154 --> 01:48:15,239 and men as perpetrator. 2099 01:48:15,448 --> 01:48:17,533 The red pill is about understanding 2100 01:48:17,742 --> 01:48:19,744 men and women like everything else in life. 2101 01:48:19,953 --> 01:48:21,287 It's a mixed bag. 2102 01:48:21,454 --> 01:48:22,997 You've got victims and perpetrators 2103 01:48:23,164 --> 01:48:24,499 on both sides of the fence. 2104 01:48:24,707 --> 01:48:26,960 And that's all. It's real simple. 2105 01:48:27,168 --> 01:48:28,378 It's just not easy. 2106 01:48:32,507 --> 01:48:35,385 Hmm. 2107 01:48:35,593 --> 01:48:38,680 I... I think I agree with everything you said. 2108 01:48:38,888 --> 01:48:42,976 But there's... there's still some kind of unsettling doubt, 2109 01:48:43,184 --> 01:48:46,771 and I don't know where that's coming from. 2110 01:48:46,980 --> 01:48:49,148 I'm recognizing all of these 2111 01:48:49,357 --> 01:48:52,026 very serious men's rights issues. 2112 01:48:52,235 --> 01:48:54,946 But what I don't understand 2113 01:48:55,154 --> 01:48:57,573 is how I could be agreeing 2114 01:48:57,782 --> 01:49:01,202 with men's rights actmsts. 2115 01:49:01,411 --> 01:49:03,663 Is this the same misogynist hate group 2116 01:49:03,871 --> 01:49:07,750 I originally discovered online? 2117 01:49:07,959 --> 01:49:09,210 The Southern poverty law center 2118 01:49:09,419 --> 01:49:10,795 has classified that group 2119 01:49:11,004 --> 01:49:13,297 and men's rights groups as hate groups. 2120 01:49:13,506 --> 01:49:16,384 1 looked into what 1 was hearing from feminists 2121 01:49:16,551 --> 01:49:19,929 and the mass media about the men's rights movement. 2122 01:49:20,138 --> 01:49:21,597 I've read a lot and I've heard a lot 2123 01:49:21,806 --> 01:49:23,599 that the men's rights movement 2124 01:49:23,808 --> 01:49:25,393 has been labeled a hate group 2125 01:49:25,601 --> 01:49:27,603 by the Southern poverty law center. 2126 01:49:27,812 --> 01:49:29,814 - Is that correct? - Yeah, that's not quite true. 2127 01:49:30,023 --> 01:49:31,816 No, they got it wrong. No. 2128 01:49:32,025 --> 01:49:33,860 This was somehow written up 2129 01:49:34,068 --> 01:49:36,446 on some kind of anti-men's rights websites 2130 01:49:36,612 --> 01:49:39,032 as us having listed them as hate groups and so on. 2131 01:49:39,240 --> 01:49:40,241 That we didn't do. 2132 01:49:47,749 --> 01:49:52,045 He wrote a piece 2133 01:49:52,253 --> 01:49:55,048 declaring the month of October to be 2134 01:49:55,256 --> 01:49:57,842 "bash a violent bitch month." 2135 01:49:58,051 --> 01:49:59,844 Jesus. 2136 01:50:00,053 --> 01:50:02,305 "I mean, literally to grab them by the hair 2137 01:50:02,513 --> 01:50:05,183 and smack their face against the wall," he wrote. 2138 01:50:09,020 --> 01:50:11,272 I then discovered that Paul elam's famous 2139 01:50:11,481 --> 01:50:14,609 "bash a violent bitch" article was written in response 2140 01:50:14,817 --> 01:50:17,028 to this article by jezebel called... 2141 01:50:21,908 --> 01:50:24,077 The article cited a study that revealed 2142 01:50:24,285 --> 01:50:27,038 70°/o of non-reciprocated violence 2143 01:50:27,246 --> 01:50:29,165 was perpetuated by women. 2144 01:50:29,373 --> 01:50:31,084 The author then went on to say 2145 01:50:31,292 --> 01:50:34,087 that she conducted an informal survey at the office 2146 01:50:34,295 --> 01:50:35,880 and the gist of her findings 2147 01:50:36,089 --> 01:50:39,759 was that many women had physically assaulted their man, 2148 01:50:39,967 --> 01:50:43,304 and it was interpreted as either being funny 2149 01:50:43,513 --> 01:50:46,808 or he was asking for it. 2150 01:50:47,016 --> 01:50:48,684 I couldn't help but see the hypocrisy 2151 01:50:48,893 --> 01:50:52,897 in a major feminist website making light of abusing men, 2152 01:50:53,106 --> 01:50:55,483 and mras stinging back 2153 01:50:55,691 --> 01:50:58,569 only to have the media paint them as the abusers. 2154 01:52:16,731 --> 01:52:20,776 After my year of filming men's rights actmsts and feminists 2155 01:52:20,985 --> 01:52:22,570 my descent into the rabbit hole 2156 01:52:22,778 --> 01:52:25,990 was not slowing down. 2157 01:52:26,199 --> 01:52:27,491 My education on gender politics 2158 01:52:27,700 --> 01:52:30,953 was really just beginning. 2159 01:52:31,162 --> 01:52:33,915 I learned about other sectors of the online manosphere, 2160 01:52:34,123 --> 01:52:37,001 like mgtow, "men going their own way," 2161 01:52:37,210 --> 01:52:40,588 and forum on reddit called "the red pill," 2162 01:52:40,796 --> 01:52:42,399 which is separate from the men's rights community, 2163 01:52:42,423 --> 01:52:46,219 and they do not see eye to eye. 2164 01:52:46,427 --> 01:52:48,429 I'm told an easy way to remember the difference 2165 01:52:48,638 --> 01:52:52,808 is that while mras want to change the system 2166 01:52:53,017 --> 01:52:56,646 redd1t's “the red pill“ want to take adv ant age of the system, 2167 01:52:56,812 --> 01:52:58,981 and mgtow want to leave the system. 2168 01:53:01,400 --> 01:53:03,903 There are so many perspectives on gender, 2169 01:53:04,111 --> 01:53:07,114 and I believe they're all worthy of listening to. 2170 01:53:07,323 --> 01:53:11,452 However, the conversation is being silenced. 2171 01:53:11,661 --> 01:53:13,996 For a society to accept anything said 2172 01:53:14,205 --> 01:53:15,998 on behalf of women's rights 2173 01:53:16,207 --> 01:53:19,460 and then to shame any dialogue about men's rights 2174 01:53:19,669 --> 01:53:23,256 and call it hate speech is precisely the problem. 2175 01:53:23,464 --> 01:53:25,466 This 1s what men's rights look like'.! 2176 01:53:25,675 --> 01:53:27,260 I don't know where I'm headed, 2177 01:53:27,468 --> 01:53:30,638 but I know what I left behind. 2178 01:53:30,846 --> 01:53:33,057 I no longer call myself a feminist. 2179 01:54:06,257 --> 01:54:07,425 ♪ Just think about it 2180 01:54:07,633 --> 01:54:09,093 ♪ put on some borrowed kicks 2181 01:54:09,302 --> 01:54:10,886 ♪ hang all your notions up 2182 01:54:11,095 --> 01:54:12,513 ♪ it's never what it is 2183 01:54:12,722 --> 01:54:14,348 ♪ wisdom is asking why 2184 01:54:14,557 --> 01:54:16,100 ♪ there is another side 2185 01:54:16,309 --> 01:54:17,893 ♪ down where the rabbit lives 2186 01:54:18,102 --> 01:54:19,520 ♪ my world will blow your mind 2187 01:54:19,729 --> 01:54:21,522 ♪ just have a look at it 2188 01:54:21,731 --> 01:54:23,524 ♪ think, think about it 2189 01:54:23,733 --> 01:54:25,109 ♪ just think about it 2190 01:54:25,318 --> 01:54:26,902 ♪ think, think about it 2191 01:54:27,111 --> 01:54:28,529 ♪ just think about it 2192 01:54:28,738 --> 01:54:30,323 ♪ think, think about it 2193 01:54:30,531 --> 01:54:31,907 ♪ just think about it 2194 01:54:32,116 --> 01:54:33,784 ♪ think, think about it 2195 01:54:33,993 --> 01:54:35,328 ♪ just think about it 2196 01:54:48,090 --> 01:54:50,092 ♪ just think about it 2197 01:54:56,307 --> 01:54:57,933 ♪ don't gotta change your mind 2198 01:54:58,142 --> 01:54:59,560 ♪ just try to open it 2199 01:54:59,769 --> 01:55:01,354 ♪ I'll let you use my eyes 2200 01:55:01,562 --> 01:55:02,938 ♪ see what I'm dealing with 2201 01:55:03,147 --> 01:55:05,149 ♪ people with different stories 2202 01:55:05,358 --> 01:55:08,569 ♪ dmded by different categories 2203 01:55:08,778 --> 01:55:10,154 ♪ and reasons why 2204 01:55:10,363 --> 01:55:12,156 ♪ the smart speak 2205 01:55:12,365 --> 01:55:14,158 ♪ the wise, they listen 2206 01:55:14,367 --> 01:55:15,701 ♪ the wise, they listen 2207 01:55:15,910 --> 01:55:17,119 ♪ just think about it 2208 01:55:17,328 --> 01:55:18,996 ♪ think, think about it 2209 01:55:19,205 --> 01:55:20,581 ♪ just think about it 2210 01:55:20,790 --> 01:55:22,583 ♪ think, think about it 2211 01:55:22,792 --> 01:55:24,126 ♪ just think about it 2212 01:55:24,335 --> 01:55:25,878 ♪ think, think about it 2213 01:55:26,087 --> 01:55:27,630 ♪ just think about it 2214 01:55:27,838 --> 01:55:29,382 ♪ think, think about it 2215 01:55:29,590 --> 01:55:30,966 ♪ just think about it 2216 01:55:36,764 --> 01:55:37,932 ♪ just think about it 2217 01:55:43,562 --> 01:55:45,147 ♪ just think about it 2218 01:56:27,189 --> 01:56:28,816 ♪ think about it 2219 01:56:29,024 --> 01:56:30,651 ♪ think about it 2220 01:56:30,860 --> 01:56:33,654 ♪ think about it 2221 01:56:33,863 --> 01:56:35,656 ♪ think, think about it 2222 01:56:35,865 --> 01:56:37,241 ♪ just think about it 2223 01:56:37,450 --> 01:56:39,118 ♪ think, think about it 2224 01:56:39,326 --> 01:56:40,661 ♪ just think about it 2225 01:56:40,870 --> 01:56:42,580 ♪ think, think about it 2226 01:56:42,788 --> 01:56:43,998 ♪ just think about it 2227 01:56:44,206 --> 01:56:46,125 ♪ think, think about it 2228 01:56:46,333 --> 01:56:47,668 ♪ just think about it 2229 01:56:47,877 --> 01:56:51,046 ♪ think, think about it 2230 01:56:51,255 --> 01:56:52,673 ♪ think, think about it 2231 01:56:52,882 --> 01:56:54,467 ♪ you gotta think about it 2232 01:56:54,675 --> 01:56:57,845 ♪ think, think about it 2233 01:56:58,053 --> 01:56:59,680 ♪ think, think about it 2234 01:56:59,889 --> 01:57:01,474 ♪ come on and think about it 2235 01:57:05,060 --> 01:57:06,479 ♪ there is another side 2236 01:57:06,687 --> 01:57:08,439 ♪ down where the rabbit lives 2237 01:57:11,859 --> 01:57:13,486 ♪ I'll let you use my eyes 2238 01:57:13,694 --> 01:57:15,237 ♪ see what I'm dealing with 2239 01:57:19,033 --> 01:57:20,868 ♪ think, think about it 2240 01:57:21,076 --> 01:57:22,411 ♪ just think about it 2241 01:57:25,831 --> 01:57:27,708 ♪ think, think about it 2242 01:57:27,917 --> 01:57:30,044 ♪ just think about it