I'm sorry. I can't find it my wallet I have to have ten items.
- Can you call me first? - There is someone in front of you, sir.
I usually keep my changes change my little bear, but...
That's almost interesting. How much it costs?
- 5.26. - just add it, please
Wait a minute. If not in this one, it will be on the other.
- That will be 9.65. - Thank you very much. - How sweet.
- You don't have to do it for me. - I don't do it for you Check several bags next time.
jerking.
- How can I help you, Governor? - Some dirtbags...
poop from... attorney general's office...
I have dared to mention the word "prison".
Wow.
Waaah!
- Someone calls "waaambulance"! - What? What did you say?
Governor, do you know how many are one killer politician under the age of 60?
- No. - Dear self.
Now, Governor, I will be more than happy to help you get out of this mess...
that you are very willing seems to have stepped into
- But you have to do something - What is that?
- Stop crying. - I will try.
No, I mean now too. You make me headache.
Excuse me, friend, is there more to drink?
- do you have a single malt scotch? - Of course.
So what do you do to make a living?
Do you want to tell about that? You know, the comfort of strangers and so on.
No.
Oh. It must be something on the internet.
Or finance.
Genetic engineering, maybe, yes
- I'm an image consultant, okay? - Well.
So you kind of solved the problem for people?
You know, give them their makeovers when they need improvement, right?
Right.
Hey look...
I flew to L.A. to get started anchor work on local news...
and I don't think it's an accident that I'm sitting next to you.
I see. So it's a cosmic goal...
from our meeting is for me to give free advice - What did I get from it? - We don't know yet
But I will owe you.
- If I do it, will you be quiet? - Calm down like a dead person Your hair is too big, your eyebrows are too dark, your nails are too long...
and your foundation is too orange.
Your perfume is too sweet. It's news, honey, not the prom.
- I like your eyes... - Oh. Thank you.
Bluer. Try colored contacts.
But only when you anchor or on L.A.
- When you are on duty, get them out. - How is my accent?
I am always warned to stop saying "you two."
Don't ever stop saying "you two." "Both of you" are your trademarks.
Say "you two," and you will be promoted in six months.
Say "you two" with a smile, you will be famous at 12.
Okay, thank you.
You're welcome.
Now, please just stay quiet?
Alright, let me have it. Hello, Your Majesty How are you?
Good. Thank you.
Determine "not alone."
Your honor, is this an inflatable mannequin?
You know if the press...
Avoiding one bullet.
Listen, this will all explode.
Hey! Do you see...
that...
Yes.
Twelve cream pie lights up their way to the stadium.
Bob Riley expects you in the owner's box at 3:00.
Amy will meet you there. And why are you wearing a yellow tie?
Janet. How can you know I'm wearing my yellow tie? You can't even see me.
I can hear the pressure in your voice
Whenever you are stressed, you wear a yellow tie...
which makes you feel very strong, so maybe you will shout at me...
which I didn't in the mood for, so don't
- Good tie - I'm not stressed
There is nothing wrong with me. I only Not getting enough sleep last night.
- Can I do work today? - Take off your cellphone You are with humans now
I am one and two. There are three, four.
I marked the five letters. There are eight on your desk to sign.
And there are ten standing in your office
Why did you leave him? in my office, Janet?
He threatened me with a machete.
She's your father, Russ.
Wait 60 seconds and enter and tell me I'm late for something.
- I hate you. - fair fight
- That's a good photo from you, uh, and Al De Niro. - Robert De Niro
Oh, this is a good photo of you and Robert De Niro.
Okay, be it, except for Al Pacino.
Oh.
So, Daddy, what can I do for you?
Did you get a check? I was sent this morning?
Yes, yes, I do.
But I didn't ask for a check.
I asked you to come and help me lift some items.
Now, the time is money, Father...
and my time is valuable is more than just an activator...
so I'm afraid the check will have to do
Listen, your sister and family come for dinner tomorrow night
You have never seen your niece and nephew for a long time.
- Uh, you might want some from those things in the attic. - What is it like, Daddy?
- Some more of my childhood memorabilia? - You never know.
How many times in the last 20 years that you live in that house...
have I ever asked you for what, hmm
Nothing?
Um, you're late for a very large meeting
Dozens of people are angry and very important people scream for you There's a Pandemonium, I'm sure, somewhere...
and you really have to go... right now.
Good luck, Dad. Let me know how it goes.
Contact Fred and see how the market closes. Check NASD AQ Bye.
That's perfect.
You look brilliant Fully and very beautiful.
Don't look at me Look out there
Have we signed a new client?
We make bets. If I make it look handsome, I get a free hot dog.
- You will starve - There is no chance
- Thank you. - With pleasure.
- Don't share with jerko. - Impossible.
Pay attention to your cholesterol, hot dog boy. Let me have it for you Hey, I work hard for that!
Amy, that hot dog will kill you.
After all, we will have it lobster in cream sauce
I don't want lobster in a cream sauce. I want a hot dog in mustard sauce.
Please stop biting your nails, Amy
Nails. I only bite one. Why do you care?
I care because you work for me.
When you bite your nails, You advertise weaknesses.
Very? Weakness of advertising with one small nail?
- What is this ad? - good
- Hi, Mike. - Is he in - wait for you
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Hello.
- Hello - I haven't seen you in a few days.
- how are you? - Well. Now can we go in?
No. This is a little where you ask me.
We are very late I don't have time to...
Lasts. Give a whirl.
Hi, Amy. How are you?
Good. We are really late
Hey, cavalry is here!
Russ Duritz to save him!
This is to save my sorry behind.
Josh, look after him.
- Good luck. - Yeah.
Hi. I'm Josh, Assistant Riley.
- If you need anything... - I do
I want you to go to the audience and find me a dozen children aged 8 - 12 years.
Eight boys, four girls. Five white, four Latino, three black.
- Ask them to come back here in three minutes. - Well.
I need to use Hi-8 for this one.
So why is everyone? my meat busting?
And the way I see this...
it's just a little misunderstanding.
Okay, Bob, let me see if I can explain to you...
how do others see this little thing
You know, for Joe Baseball Fan out there, you are the one who promised...
You will give five percent of each ticket sold this season...
to set up a baseball camp for the children of the inner city.
You are also the person who gives pictures for children's press...
actually attended this camp which, actually, doesn't exist.
however. I intend To overcome this, uh, finally.
- Ah. - I'm a very busy person No, Bob, you're not a busy person.
Look, what you are is a "stoopid" human.
A very stupid person who only plays Mr Amal...
because you want to suck into the city council...
so they will build you a new baseball park.
But guess what. Bye-bye, rude.
Hello, prison - So what's your big plan? - How do you feel about chocolate cream pie?
Why? Are you going to feed children's cream cakes to get me out of this mess?
No. Children will feed you Creamy cakes and remove you from this mess.
- Huh? - Bob...
get ready for pied.
I deserve it!
More cakes on the face!
Bob, the press will eat this
Amy, what do you think?
- Amy? Amy? - Do you want to know what I'm thinking?
I think something is very scary about all this
Amy, Amy, I swear to you...
I will make sure that editing this recording is handled tastefully, okay?
- I'm sure you will - No, I promise.
- We did not make a mistake at this time - No.
- We do the right thing our client, Bob Riley. - I love her.
Russ, today we are shamelessly exploiting innocent children...
only to help some criminals with cash flow problems.
Will you finish Is this the last part of yellow?
Russ, you have to care about this. You're back 40 in...
- Thank you very much for making it happen. - You're at the age when... - What, and you're not in your age...
Yes, both of us.
Well, we can't go anymore talking about what we will do being like when we grow up.
We're awake - Is that all? - Yeah.
- Are you done? - Yeah, I'm done Good.
Toshiya, if you are called jerk four times...
on the same day, is that correct?
- What, only four? Do you wake up late? - Excuse me.
- I asked Toshiya. - Only four times, a pattern.
Five times come true.
- Thank you very much. Do you see? There is hope. - jerk
Thank you.
Yo, Pedro, make sure it goes into the trash
Yes!
That's fantastic! I don't believe You just do fantastic things!
Neither do I.
I have to be really stressed.
Maybe it's still there.
You don't go Dumpster diving to look for the strappy fish tape.
You're right. I shouldn't go there.
I'm wearing a $ 2,000 suit. Come on. I will give encouragement.
Come on, let's go. Disturb yourself
- What? What do you see? - see
revolve around the earth, proves once again...
that the universe does not revolve around you.
This is worth seeing, if you ask me
Do you see
- I see. - Look again! - Good...
Good! Amy...
Stop playing around, Alright? I see.
Now can we leave?
- Come on, grumpy - Hey, will you stop?
I stopped.
Oh! Look at the moon! It's very big and round...
and when I see it, I am all excited and excited and...
nobody knows that I'm almost 30! Ooh!
Funny or just stupid?
You know, Russ, right when I thought I've seen the worst...
that it is impossible to walk you can become more jerk...
You beat yourself.
Then...
when I was about to leave, you did something
Like tonight, when you throw the tape.
Then I get the smallest, a quick glimpse of the child in you That's when I decided to hang around for five more minutes...
see what happens next
See you later
Janet, I want you to be called with the alarm company first Tomorrow morning, okay?
There can't be someone else You have to enter the gate.
Ever! The fact is, get them on the phone now, and you tell them...
- It's 3:00 a.m. - Janet, I don't care It's 3:00 in the morning.
That should be 24-hour security service, okay?
I want the sensitivity set at ten
I want electricity. I want charred meat. Do you understand?
- Write it down. Janet. - "charred meat." - Write it down!
Maybe there are only a few environments children. I don't know why you are so angry.
- I'm not disappointed. I'm just crazy - Fine. Crazy. Not upset - You know, maybe we should get it a new security company, okay? - Uh huh.
I want rottweilers. I want big and scary rottweilers.
I want guys who train rottweilers to be afraid to come here, okay?
- I want to ditch with lava. - "Moat with lava."
Troll with that? The bad one
No, Janet. There are no trolls.
- Hello? Uh. Russ. It's father Uh... - Wait a minute, Janet.
- Honey, I'm very sorry - I know I asked before...
but. Um. It would be nice to have you here for dinner
I know Joanne and children will be happy to meet you And. Uh. Well. If you schedule opens...
- Janet, I sleep. - Great idea. Me, too.
I don't want to talk to you or anyone...
on this planet for the next three hours.
- Guess what. Me neither. - Goodbye.
"Rusty."
Daddy, you're really It's weird.
Hey!
Hey, stop! Stop! Back!
Come back here! Hey!
Gotcha! Ow! Ah!
Hey! Hey!
Get it from here!
Look, idiot!
Move it, you jerk!
Hey!
Uh, uh, good night Uh, little boy...
ran here a while ago, and, uh...
Someone saw anything
Can you see something?
Because we can fly
Because this child is, uh, only here...
Up. Up and going
- He... - See you again.
Hey! Officer!
The world is a better place in my beautiful balloon
It's better to wear face
Uh-eh.
Good morning doctor.
I want to say it right away, if you don't mind I've been meeting in ten minutes.
You are entitled to 50 minutes.
Thank you, but I only need five minutes...
or no matter how long you need to write a recipe
I see.
Uh, we have to talk about this. Why do not you sit down
No thanks. I don't want to sit.
Everything starts with sitting.
You sit, and before you know it...
twelve years have passed, and you're still talking about...
when you see it your mother is naked in the bathroom
Did you see your mother naked in the bathroom?
No! I just said I like to stand up, okay?
Listen, II don't want therapy.
- I don't need therapy - Why do you feel like that?
Because I don't like other nuts It passes here, okay?
I don't have a problem smoking. I have no problem drinking.
I don't have a full closet women's clothes.
Sit down, Mr. Duritz, and tell me what's the problem
- No, no! - Mr. Duritz, I'm not trying to cheat you.
I'm trying to understand your problem Issues. Problem, single Only one.
Alright. What is that?
Over the past few weeks...
I have seen a man on a plane I see.
Not like that see! I mean...
I've been hallucinating a man on a plane
And this delusion, or whatever you call them...
it seems to be getting worse
Anyway, now I see a child.
And do you think this child? What are hallucinations too?
Yes.
Is he someone you know from your past, from your childhood
No, not from my childhood. I've forgotten my childhood.
My childhood was in the past, where it belongs
But don't want to stay in the past, right?
Mr. Duritz, I noticed your eyes twitching.
- I don't have tic - I don't say you have tic
This is not tic. I have dry eyes. Why are you asking about my dry eyes?
- Why are you so upset? - Because I have hallucinations!
And I asked you to make them leave...
with a very powerful drug that I can continue my journey to work.
Please, ma'am.
Mr. Duritz, you will pick up your strong medicine ...
and then you will...
go home and take the rest of the day off
- Yes ma'am. - This is for a total of four pills.
They will help you stay calm until tomorrow at 4:00...
at the time I expected to see you back here in my office...
for appointments, which must be promised to be maintained.
Yes ma'am.
You have this hallucination for a reason.
- Yes ma'am. - And Mr. Duritz...
You need to find out what is the reason
Thank you.
The woman in question. if I understand it correctly...
He is your Pilates instructor.
- Um. Good... - Yeah, are you watching this?
- Unfortunately yes. - I mean. Not beautiful like you Honey.
- Oh that's good. - Why not just say it? What did I tell him to say?
- He's an actor. He improvised. - Give me his cellphone number.
They won't let him take the cellphone to the set.
Well, just take me whatever, okay, Janet Coast Guard, police.
For me the previous number is spontaneously burning
Let me see if I can get it Strength taken in Atlanta.
Okay, leave.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
OK I understand. Goodbye
- You! - Don't be angry I will clean it.
Don't move
Look, look, this just has to stop, okay This... this is wrong!
You can't just go around breaking into someone's house like this!
This is against the law!
I'll just call Police now, okay?
Tell them...
Do I know you?
I don't know Why do you keep comin 'back here
I got back on the plane.
- And then I see popcorn. - your plane
My mother gave it to me for Christmas. How do you get it?
That's my plane, okay?
My father just dropped it here.
OK? It's in the attic for a long time. I've owned the plane for 30...
thirty years.
Then why is there my name on it
Seeing. Here. "Rusty."
Russell Morley Duritz.
I hate that stupid name!
How do you know my name?
- The mother's name is Gloria. Your father's name is Sam. - How do you know all that?
- Your sister's name is Joanne. - But everyone calls him...
- Josie. - Josie.
Hi.
Are you who I think you are?
I don't know How did I get here?
I don't know Smoking holy
How old are you?
Forty in a few days.
It's old.
I turned eight in a few days.
Eight.
You are eight
I am eight
This is scary.
No.
This is very funny.
Alright. I just went kitchen. I will make a sandwich.
There is security on the sandwich.
See? Is there security on the sandwich, see?
How strange he knows We call Joanne "Josie."
But only I know secret name...
I have for Aunt Cathy when she is undergoing her epilepsy spell.
Aunt Spazzy!
Security. Safety in a sandwich
Safety in sandwiches Security in sandwiches Security...
Get out!
Okay, hallucinations? Exit!
- Am I having a nightmare? - Not.
You don't have a nightmare, you see
You don't exist
I have nightmares, okay, and my nervous breakdown.
This is my first nervous breakdown, so I'm not sure how they should go
But I'm pretty sure that I'm dreaming, do you understand? Dreaming Dreaming
Good?
I don't think you're dreaming...
Because you are talking, and your eyes are a bit twitched.
Hey! I don't have time to be crazy, okay
So if you want me to go crazy, you have to call the phone...
and call Janet just like everyone else and schedule appointments!
Ah. Ah good. Well.
Make contact with the outside world.
- Hi, Janet This is Russ. - Hi. Are you okay? - No, no, good.
Uh huh. There is no. Well. No, I just came up to reply to my call.
Do you want to hear something funny? I'm downstairs and now I'm upstairs.
- Hey - You see...
- You dropped this - Russ. Hello?
Security in sandwiches Security in sandwiches Security!
Safety in sandwiches You are only hallucinations!
One that will disappear.
Prepare to disappear!
Prepare to disappear.
I sit on the floor.
I took A very effective medicine.
Just waiting to kick. Get ready to disappear!
gone?
The medicine is very effective seems to be working
I'm still here.
I don't throw your pieces enemies into Dumpster I have a limit.
Do you remember when I signed you? Is the confidentiality paper in the office?
- Yeah. - And do you remember me telling you...
that if you ever say anything To anyone about anything happens in this company...
that I will not only sue you, but will I take you to financial ruin?
Snoring.
Okay then.
You can, uh... Can you see it?
Yes, I, um, can.
Can you see a child standing there?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure.
Good.
This little child is me at the age of eight.
And I want you to to make it disappear
- he is you - Yeah.
- At the age of eight? - Mm-hmm.
And you want me to make it disappear?
Please.
- How's the therapist this morning? - Do it, Janet!
- How should I make a missing child - Hey, you are the assistant
Find out, okay?
You shout at me That's great. That... it helps.
I feel I think more clearly.
I-I feel I-I'm just more in touch with the strength of my magic assistant.
Alakazam, alakazam. Dalakazam Kazoo.
Explosion! Presto! Ha!
- Hi. - doesn't work
I should use it My magic bra and underwear.
Enter the car.
- I'm really disappointed with you, Janet. - Oh, fired, I hope.
- No. Forget your bonus. - Oh, boo hoo What about my teeth?
My boss appears has lost his senses.
Of course you won't like it stay here with me?
I will be fine.
Did you cry about that?
I just want to go home.
I tried to take you home, okay?
- am I in trouble - you will be in trouble if you delete the snot...
in my calf chair... Don't do it
Try and remember where you live, okay
- You have to know that - Well, I don't know that We moved 12 times.
We moved a dozen times?
- Yes. A dozen are 12. We moved 12 times. - What happened?
What happened? A big truck is coming...
they put all your things in, and you move to another house
- Twelve times. - see! It's there! Remember now?
- No. - Listen, that's where we fell from the roof last year.
That's the bush we fell. And that's where a very large place crawling under the house.
- remember? - Yes, that's one of them big event of life...
at that time possession crawled under the house.
- How can I forget? - You don't remember possums?
That's, like, this is big!
And so it is very long teeth
He took our sneakers in his mouth and ran away with it. You must remember that
Hey, I don't remember the possession, okay
I almost don't remember staying here at all
But you do it, and rightly so all that matters Out.
Wait. House. This is different.
- See you dear. - Who are they?
What will I do?
What now?
Hey, will you knock off water, okay?
You know what number one killer children under the age of 8 are Dear self.
And you're quite sad.
Well, at least I didn't do this!
Good.
Chester! This is, son! Come on, Chester!
Chester!
This is, son! Come on, Chester!
Chester!
Come on, Chester! Chester!
This is, son! Come on, Chester!
- Chester! - Son, will you stop the scream?
- Chester! - Hey! Now!
Where is Chester?
- Who is Chester? - My dog.
The dog I will get when I grow up.
- Oh. - The biggest dog in the world
The person driving is behind my truck...
playing a Frisbee, goes wherever I go
- Chester! - Bad news, kid.
- There are no dogs here - What do you mean?
I mean not a dog. There are no dogs here.
- I don't have a dog - no dog No dog
- I grow up to be a man without a dog? - Right.
- Why don't I have a dog? - Because I don't want a dog, okay?
I can't take care of a dog.
I travel a lot for work.
You are traveling to work I grew up flying jets, right? I know it!
I know I will grow up to fly jet
Uh, no
- No, I'm not flying a jet? - Not really, no.
- What should I do? - You are an image consultant.
What is that?
Uh, this...
- What do consultants do? - Consult
But what should I do?
You don't do anything You tell others what to do.
That's the fun of it. You are the boss of the people around.
Like this. Stop talking!
There shouldn't be a woman somewhere?
What do you mean, a woman who lives here? No, I live alone.
I think you said you are 40
I say I'm almost 40 years old. Is that so?
So, I'm 40, I'm not married...
I don't fly jets, and I don't have a dog?
I grew to be a loser.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
That's my name too
Whenever we go out people always shout
There's John Jacob gone Jingleheimer Schmidt
Na na na na na na na
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
That's my name too
Whenever we go out people always shout
There's John Jacob gone Jingleheimer Schmidt
Na na na na na na na
Wow! Look at that! Humans!
Wow! Smoking holy Musa Suci!
Look at the moon!
- Wow! Far out - Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Stop screaming!
- Holy Moses! - What are you doing?
Look at that! That's big!
What's wrong with you It's the moon, okay?
You traveled 30 years all the time...
and what you can do is stand here and shout about the rising moon?
But you can see men in the month of really good tonight
Now, is he talking to you?
Did he invite you? for a little cheese?
Did he blow fart bubbles out of his butt?
Because if not, then there really isn't any reason...
to be excited about the moon, is there?
Sorry. I will never be excited again.
Obviously.
Wait!
Can I ask questions?
Why is the month rising, like, sometimes?
Because there are, uh...
a band, uh...
Just shut up and go to bed, okay?
Or better yet, leave!
I know that! I grew up to be a man who doesn't know anything
And who doesn't have a dog!
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
That's my name too
Child?
Good.
Maybe Russ here can explain a little a little better than I can. Russ?
This is how we see things, Vivian.
Call me Vivian
Good. Vivian.
You will be public, You make an IPO...
Your software is brilliant, and it's all good
But if you want to make a Fortune 500, you have to understand...
that at some point, people I want to see you well.
And that's where everything gets a little dicey
Dicey. Right. Very, very uncertain.
I don't understand why I have to change something Good. Let's see this.
- You live in the cabin... - I won't cut my hair...
and I will not shave my beard.
Let me give it to you straight, Z.Z.
If you want to ride your cow on Farm Aid, You don't need to change anything.
But if you want to make a front page from the Wall Street Journal...
there is one thing you must change.
Uh...
For, um... Uh...
- someone you know - What?
- Your friend? - Not!
That's... It's a little boy.
- Hello! - I don't know small children
- I'm starving! - It's just tragic that parents...
will send their children out to beg like that
- very, very sad - I don't believe. - Russ!
Russ Duritz, I'm hungry!
Give me a meal! Ugh! I am hungry!
If you excuse me please wait a moment.
What are you doing here? I thought you vanished.
- I don't know how to disappear I'm hungry! - Hello
I'm Amy Who are you?
I'm Rusty.
And who is Rusty?
- my niece - your niece
Yes. My sister's child
- Who goes in college in the fall? - Not. Other.
Melissa?
Yes, Amy. This is Melissa.
No, that's another.
- Who doesn't like to talk about it. - Oh, I see.
Which really explains why you never told me about him
Maybe I didn't tell you everything.
So are you having fun with your uncle?
Not really. He makes me sleep outside...
he didn't give me any breakfast...
That is a problem.
- Do you make it sleep outside? - He sleeps in a tent.
- You have a tent - It's a tent.
You don't give him breakfast.
He can stand to skip meals.
Rusty, are you hungry?
- Hunger. - Let's go and eat meat and eggs.
No no no no. Rusty can't have bacon and eggs.
I have to get it Back to his mother right now.
Don't forget Kenny's this afternoon.
- See you later, Rusty! - goodbye
Nice to meet you.
- Get the look of moony from your face. - I like that Amy woman.
I'm sure he likes dogs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that I'm stuck with you...
or the idea that I don't know what to do about it Why don't we eat something?
Why? Because you don't know what to do, You just want to stuff your face?
No, because it says up there in the sky
Good. Why aren't we? eat something?
What can I get?
Um, I'm going to have French toast, pancake and smoked meat
- bring him something healthy, right? - Sorry, Sir.
We only serve flour, sweet, salty food...
high in fat and cholesterol that tastes good
Leisure person deep inside.
Good. I will cook French toast, pancakes and bacon
- Do you want milk to vibrate with that? - Chocolate, please
Beat the extra cream.
- And for you? - You know, I think I'll do it like a magic bean omelette.
Ah, does anyone get it? coffee today I will get it!
Maybe you can take it before the diner disappears.
Do you see, Sparky?
Oh man.
- What are you doing here? - Have French toast, pancake and smoked meat
That's not what I'm talking about. What are you here for?
I don't know My model plane
Now, you got it already, and we are still messed up.
We are even more chaotic than before.
- What will I do with you? - What do you want to do with me?
I want to put you on a diet, fat!
Fix you so that you are not a sad loser This is what I did to make a living, okay
Making people look good is what I do
The problem is...
There are many things to do with you, I don't know where to start.
Well, I want to not get it my ass kicked so much
Children always laugh at us.
That hurts my feelings.
Why didn't I think about this before?
This is what you came for, okay?
I just have to teach you how to fight Anyway...
they don't laugh at us, they laugh at you When you become me, they laugh, they die!
- They laugh, they die? - Yes.
You laugh, you die You laugh, you die You laugh, you die Pow! Pow!
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
- Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! - Alright alright. Okay, okay, shut up! Closes...
- Hey guess what. - What? - I have to pee
Are you sure you know someone? Who can teach me how to fight?
Yes, I think I can find someone.
Isn't that cool how we both have to go at the same time?
Yes. I will cherish this moment lifetime.
- I'll just have one piece again. Just one... Just one piece again. - What do you think about this?
- Hey! - too short - Oh, God.
Please say it isn't... Hey.
You're five weeks from maintaining your title - What do you do with pizza? - But I... I'm a nervous eater.
- Beat it - You will be nervous too if you marry tomorrow
Yes, I will be nervous that my wife will dump me because I'm like a big lard.
- Hi, Giselle. - Hi, Russ.
- What is that? Is that another 20 pounds? - Not.
- Hey! Placing... - Damn it, he won't even let you eat, huh?
- Does he look like he needs pizza? - Who is he?
This is Russ's niece, Rusty.
Oh, I don't know you have two nephews.
- How do I see, honey? Look. - Mmm, like Adonis.
Hey, hey, Adonis. Adonis.
- What? - Can I use your boxing ring?
I want to give pudge-boy here some lessons
- Maybe you can enter, Show him some movements. - Yeah, I will be happy.
That way, you can punch the lamp out the next time he tries to call you fat boy
Groovy!
First things first. Have you tried out or what?
All right, well, then take your hand until then You have to protect his chin
I vomited you on his chin, there he is.
Remember, this is number one, this is number two. You hit one, two.
One two. Continue. Try. One... that's all. There he is.
- Step aside. - Come on.
Come on. Well. Come on. Come on.
- You hit me - Yes, unfortunately, I hit you...
and I will not defeat myself about that.
Or maybe I'll do it. Come on.
Fighting. Yes. Come on. Come on.
Come on, kid. Fighting. Come on. Come on.
- Hit him. One two. One two. - Go away, Rusty. Punch the lights out!
- Hey Who are you on? - Throw it Throw it.
Whoa, whoa! Take it easy, Tyson is small!
What will you do next, biting on his ear? We didn't hit them when they were down - They hit me when I was down. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Who? Who? Who?
- Children in school - Kid's havin 'some problems at school
Well, why don't you say that, Russ? I'm teaching the kid's box.
He doesn't need it. He needs a street fight '.
Why don't you show him that WWF scissors hold? Show him that one.
- Here it is. Ready? - Whoa!
Now I can use it.
Release me
Do you pay attention to how are the two?
makes sense. They are related, right?
I think so.
Russ Duritz's office. How can I help you?
- Yes, it's me What's wrong? - Oh. That is you.
I didn't hear from you in four hours. I assumed you were dead.
- Hey, how is your mini? - That's funny, Janet.
- What's wrong? - You get 19 messages, the last count.
- Do you want them? - Let me have it.
Let's see, uh... Bob Riley.
Not Bob Riley. Not Bob Riley. Bob Riley.
I'm sure there's something else here. Just a moment. This is Bob Riley.
Hey!
Hey, Amy. Where are you going?
My place for ice cream. See you later.
- Ice cream? - goodbye
- Can I ask questions? - Sure.
Are you your girlfriend That's a funny way to put it.
Most, no.
- Can I ask questions? - Sure.
Are you our niece?
Most...
no.
- But you are related, right? - Uh huh.
- How close? - Beautiful.
How close is it close enough?
Pretty darn
God.
- Hi. - She's your child
- What? - She's your child You have children
Hey! Whatcha... leave! Hey!
And all this time You have never even breathed a word!
And you are a couple of fathers who are bored visitation rights today or something.
- Amy, do you know how... - And who is his mother?
Don't tell me I don't want to know. I know. That's a Swedish girl, isn't it?
Yes, it's Ingesborg or Smorgasbord or whatever it's called.
- Inga? - Not that I care, of course, about who or where or what you do!
- Amy, she's not Swedish. - And I'm not his child.
Honest.
Then who are you
Russ?
Because I have watched both of them you are together, and I swear to God...
something is very...
strange happens
- We have to tell him - We won't tell him
- Tell me what? - Come on. Do it!
Hey! Button it up! We won't tell him, okay?
- Then do the knuckle. - That won't convince him.
Then tell him something only I know, and then He can ask me about the same thing.
- Like Aunt Spazzy. - How will it work? Think about that.
- Then show the scar. - Anyone can have a scar.
- What about birthmarks? - Well, that could be a coincidence too.
- I know he will trust us. - He won't trust us - I know he will trust us. - He won't trust us - He will! - He won't! - She would! - He won't!
- He will! - Hey!
I wish I stood on the carpet
- I already told you. - Amy.
... incoming ships... ... which process potatoes into various products.
- Stop biting. - Leave me alone.
I advertise terror and confusion.
Holy smoking Ninety-nine channels, and nothing
How did this happen?
I have no idea.
Look at him.
He is very embarrassing.
You're not embarrassing You are adorable.
Then. You are adorable Stop picking
Look at the haircut. I look like Hermes Herman.
And I "shpeak" like me mouth full of "shpit."
Well, of course you do.
Isn't the fact me? pathetic dweeb makes you hate me?
No.
Why?
Do you hate you?
When I look at it, What I see is only bad memories.
The memories I have spent most of my life trying to forget.
I'm sorry.
Hello? Kenny.
Nauseous about marriage tomorrow?
God, tomorrow's marriage. Wait a minute.
Marriage tomorrow What will I do with him?
- We will take it with us - What?
For important events? Are you out? from your mind Take him with us This is an important event with someone who respects me - He will embarrass me - Hey!
- Ohh. - Hey! I forbid you to bond with this child!
What, kenny Who is sick?
Thank God your niece was replaced by little James
None of the other children Pretty fat to fit his clothes.
No problem. No problem. Don't worry about that.
- Yeah. Yes. Yes - Yester-I Yester-you
- Yesterday - Ooh-ooh
what happened with
The world we know When will we dream and plan
-And while going away - don't worry Just remove it and push it down table when no one is watching.
- really - Yeah.
- Where to go - Where does it go
That's yester beam
- Ha ha. - Hello
- How are you? - If we can feel it wheel of life
Turn the road
Yester-I Yester-you
Yesterday
- I know. Ohh... - I'm dreaming
So do you
Life feels warm and love is true
- Two children who follow all the rules - Smoking holy
- Russ! Russ! - Yester-fool
-And now. Now it seems - Sorry, Clarissa.
- You interrupt us We dance. - But that's very important - Not now, kid. - But really, really, rrrr...
- You're driven crazy, huh? - Yeah. - Yester-I Yester-you
- Different from their own. By the way, - Yesterday
when will you let go of your evil ways and settle down?
- As soon as you become again, Clarissa. - when I remember
- I'm serious. - Me too. - what we have
I feel empty I feel sad
- Without anything other than memory - Amy, I have a question
- Oh. Yester-love - big ones
- OK. -And now. Now it seems
What about the beautiful woman? You came with today
- You mean Amy? Well, we work together. - They have nightmares
- I've known him for a very long time. - I know we don't know each other very long.
Don't worry about me. When I meet the right people, I am sure I will ask.
- Yester-I Yester-you - If I never had time to ask...
- Yesterday - Someone is moving now.
Oh. Come on and sing Yester-aku
- Yester-you - Amy...
- Yesterday - Will you marry me?
Oh. Yester-me
- Yester-you - Okay, let's go - Hey!
- Yesterday - Let me go, you jerk!
Wait a minute. Stop. He asks a question.
- Don't you want to know what will I say? - Not.
- No? - No, he has no right to ask what he did, okay?
- You and I don't even... - Well, us! - Since when?
- MYOB! - What?
Your own beeswax thoughts. Are you or you don't want to know what will I say?
- What will you say? - Yeah, what will you say?
Try again. Less practice of indifference.
More warmth.
- What will you say? - What would you say?
So you want to know what I will say
- Take a walk. - I asked for it - Go away.
- What will you say? - I will say...
- I have to think about it - Oh, really? - Yes.
Because, it is impossible, what previously appeared to me...
the worst idea in the universe has been, for the past 12 hours...
transmogrified into is not a bad idea...
opens very small window of opportunity for you
- For me? - Yeah.
Ah. And what if I don't want to use this opportunity?
Some of you obviously want to, and that part of you causes me...
to think about it
Are you...
ask me...
to think about it?
Wait. Wait a minute.
If you will only wait, I...
I'll go get a waiter... a car...
car from...
But now. Now he is ready to start feeling love.
Oh. Yes. Before this afternoon's match by visiting Orioles...
Riley invited a dozen children to fight him with chocolate cream cake...
as a way to say "Forgive me." for what he claims is a simple case miscommunication
Uncle Bob knows how to party!
This is very fun!
- Some of these people... - So you crawl through the trash behind the bar after I leave
I shot it. I'm part of this.
Tell me, do you know for sure that he reversed the funds above...
or maybe he is still sitting on it?
Amy little poor.
Mixed with rotten boss...
who feel obliged for his client
- do you know the number one killer youth - Russ!
The person I care about here is not me.
Listen, it's all my fault.
I made that big and stupid mistake.
I thought you would change.
I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
Do you want to know what's the saddest part of this whole thing?
You can be great.
Humans. Humans!
When did we ever stop blowing?
Russ, we have to change.
We have to change.
That's really cool, how do we both have to, uh...
Very good value You ended won a scholarship for UCLA
- I am smart? - Very clever.
But you're still a loser. Enter it.
Scoot over.
In college, everything starts to get a little better
You join the track team, find a speech therapist...
You keep working your ass off...
and you passed at the top of your class
You finally left after a master's degree in business Where I work my ass off.
The story of your life, son.
The good news is that, when you are Currently the dweeb is sad...
finally you grow up to be me...
high-powered and prosperous girl magnet.
Who doesn't have a dog or girl?
Is that how you see me? A man without a dog and flawless?
- With twitches. - Right
- When do I get it? - I forget.
- When do I learn to drive? - when you were 16
- When do I get a car? - when you were 18 years old.
When do I get hickey?
- when you were 17 - When did I find out what was hickey?
Not tonight.
Russ?
- Yeah, kid - I got what you did now
I mean, I got what I did.
When I grow up, make a living.
- I know how to explain it. - Let me hear it
You help people lie about who they really are...
so they can pretend to be someone else, right?
Yes.
See? It is not difficult to explain.
That's pretty good.
- Good night, buddy - Good night, kid.
This is ABC-7 Los Angeles. Now. Eyewitness News
Good evening. Every one. And welcome. I'm Harold Greene.
Good evening. What I'm Deirdre Lafever.
Top story tonight: Another high speed chase on the Los Angeles freeway...
This time involving the mother of eight children on the stolen minivan.
The chase starts around 8:30 a.m. tonight when the first police officer doesn't...
I know. Thank you, Don. See you tomorrow.
I heard "you two."
Successful.
Now, that's Mr. Image Consultant.
So what are you thinking about?
Don't tell me My hair is still too big.
No, that looks good.
Can I buy a cup of coffee? Comfort of foreigners and all that?
If what you say to me is true...
it must happen The strangest thing I've ever heard.
Makes sense to me.
- that? - Why aren't you 8 years old yourself...
travel time here to give a hand?
I mean, you're clearly in trouble. That will straighten you out.
Do you think he's here to straighten me out?
Of course. You don't think otherwise, right?
Maybe he is here for you to teach him a few things...
but maybe he is here for you to remember a few things.
Ever thought about that?
Not until now. Not.
Darlin ', look.
Tomorrow you will leave tomorrow.
You haven't got one thing yet real value in your life - And no, no, money doesn't count. - Hey...
and you just got lost the only woman in the world who ever means anything to you
Who? Amy? Please.
Listen, he's not the only woman in the world, okay
She's neurotic. He bit his nails.
Nails.
This one.
God.
Excuse me. Um, while he gettin 'instructions, can I... can I Get warm up, please? Thank you.
Good. Don't stop Lasts.
- What's it like? - He keeps asking about his future...
my past.
- Not really telling him yet. - good
"Good"? You think it's good
Wh... If a little Deirdre is suddenly here...
Yes.
I will say, "Honey, it's not like that worry about something.
Everything will be great."
I mean, how many of us It turns out the way we think we will do it when are we children, really?
I-I mean how many of us have grown to become astronauts?
Or prime ballerina?
We only do the best we can.
You know, if you want to learn about your childhood, It looks like you are online...
You might get it.
See you, you two.
See you later
Hi, Janet, it's me. I'm sorry to call so late.
- Anything else? - No, that's all.
- OK. You have it - no, wait
There are others.
I want you to find out why the full moon looks orange sometimes when rising.
- OK. Sure. - Thank you, Janet. Good night.
Hey, kid. Rusty.
- Hi. - Hey
Want to help me with something? I think that might make you go back to your time
- Sure. - good
What's wrong with me
Yes. Anything that will bring me back
You know how I like to find caterpillars...
and put them in a jar and feed them...
and watch them make cocoons?
- No. - And then one day...
they came out, and that's really cool
No. Not a clue.
But keep going. Tell me a few more things.
Remember last summer at Josie's birthday party...
When I got Parmesan cheese stuck my nose - Have sixes? - no Going fish
- Have four? - negative Going fish
Have seven?
Tell me again about Daddy
Sometimes...
he let me help him work in the car
But if I do something wrong, he yells at me
Sometimes he buys me ice cream afterwards
But still, I don't like to mess up.
Like last week, I lost the screw.
I'm afraid to tell him.
I found it later in my pocket Listen, I still have it.
I am afraid to return it to him.
Have nines?
No.
My homeroom expert last year was fat Mrs. Kinkelman.
He is much better than Mr. Lupus.
He had a purple lump on his face.
I don't remember guy bumping. What is the value?
Why do you ask me? All of these?
Because I forget something I forgot this one event that means something to me...
and if I can remember one thing, Maybe I can take you home.
Are you sure you didn't bump purple
- Not a lump, kid. - That is a pretty big lump.
- Tell me more about second grade. - Why?
No one has a conflict in the second class.
My best friend is Tim Wheaton, until a few months ago.
Remember him?
- No, no. - The house smells like a fish stalk.
- No. - Well, he is my best friend...
until he started hanging out with Vince...
and other creepy people.
He throws a stone at me, and we've never been friends since then.
- He throws stones at us? - Oh, yes.
- Why? What happened? - Oh, people gather...
every recess in the corner of the playground...
where they like to choose children
Back to the back of kindergarten.
Yes. Where page monitoring can't see you
- Where is the big sliding board? - Yes, very big!
- you remember that - continue Don't stop
There are four of them, and if they don't like you...
they make your life a nightmare!
And the worst thing about them do they really mean animals?
Especially this one three-legged dog
Tripod
The dog's name is Tripod!
I know the name of the dog! I know everything, kid.
I know why you are here This is an event!
Vince Kajinski, fight! This is the battle!
It was my eighth birthday. That was 32 years ago.
Today! Ha ha ha!
Smoking holy
Look at the car!
Look at your clothes!
Smoking holy
- holy smoke! - holy smoke!
- We did it, son! - Am I at home Is it really 1968?
No doubt, son. What time does it break
- 10:30 - Wait a minute, kid.
We have 15 minutes to change our lives Okay, now listen. It will happen very fast...
so you have to remember what Kenny said, okay?
- One, two, one, two. - One two... - Keep your head awake.
Look, look, look! There is a very large slide, remember?
It used to be much bigger.
Here's what I remember:
Some really bad people tie up the three-legged dog, Tripod.
When you try to stop it, You really struggle.
Oh no. Do I save it?
No. You go down after only one punch...
thereby strengthening your reputation as a loser...
for the next eight years, All the way to high school...
and ruining our lives starting at that time.
Oh, holy smoke.
Soon, Vince Kajinski and the cohort will occur Come on the corner.
- see They are there. - Hey, boo
They will say something to you to make you come there After you return there, they have a tied tripod.
- Have questions? - Yeah. What is a cohort
Hey, Rusty, come here
This is your birthday, right? We got a present for you
Listen, kid. You don't have to do this at all
- You don't have to fight today - Come on. Faster!
No. Otherwise it's against them today...
I have to fight tomorrow or the next day...
and today, you are here with me
That's right. I'm here with you today
I can do this.
You can do it. Don't be afraid I'm coming!
I will be here.
What made you take so long?
- Come on, Rusty. - I just saw it...
- Yeah, hurry up - A big surprise
This is very far away.
Come on, man. This will be great. Why don't you go
- Yeah. - This will be fun. Your prize is - cool, huh?
- What are you doing? - Stinkin, Three-legged dogs are useless.
We see him running. Light the firecracker.
Let the dog go. You are filth.
- what do you contact us - Dirtbags!
- Good shot. - Look soft. - We rule
What an anesthetic.
- That's far away. - Right on. - Yeah, right.
- We rule - Wait, Vince.
Spinning.
Oh, that's how it happened.
- Come on, Vince. Get him! - Stop it!
Come on!
- Get him! - Come on! Get him!
- against the wall - Come on, Vince!
- Stop! - Come on, coward!
Will you cry
- One two. - Will run to your mother - One two.
One two!
- Say uncle! Say uncle! - Not.
- sorry! - Not.
Say uncle! I am sorry!
Uncle. Forgive me.
Yes! You won
- holy smoke! You did it - Yabba-dabba-doo!
Ha ha! Yabba-dabba-doo is right.
- You won the fight You really did it You won the fight - I did it. I do it!
That's it! I do what I have to do.
Everything will happen Be different now
Yes, I think so.
More. That's all. Yes.
Is that okay?
- Oh no. - What?
This isn't finished.
It's getting worse, kid. Much worse.
What are you talking about? I won the fight.
That's not a fight. Not that
This isn't finished.
Ice in the eyes, kid.
Mr. Branch, I put all the reports on your desk Mother. I'm sorry, ma'am. Forgive me.
Oh, it's okay It doesn't matter.
Sorry I have to enter, Mr. Duritz.
We all know you're not healthy yet Please, don't punish it, Mr. Branch.
This is her birthday today.
- Mother, Father's house - Father?
Gloria.
What are you doing? Are you out of your mind?
- I'm fine. - Come on, honey - I'm fine.
Shhh, shh, bro. Bring it in
You live there
Please don't scare him. He had a hard day.
Gloria, said the doctor You don't have to leave home.
- What's wrong with you? - Forgive me.
How can you do this? for your mother Are you trying to do it, kill her faster?
- What? - We will lose him
God, and you drew some action like you did today You killed it
I found the screw, Dad. Screw
- Stop crying. - This is the screw, Father.
Seeing! This is it. This is it. I found it.
- stop crying '. - Please, Daddy, look at the screw.
- Here it is. - Stop crying!
Stop.
You have to grow up now, now
Do you understand?
- Yes sir. - Grow. Growing up!
Mother is dying - I know. - soon
Yes.
Before your next birthday.
Did I do it?
No.
No, you don't do it.
That's not your fault.
Father only said that because he was scared Because he knows that he has to do it Awaken yourself, and he doesn't know how to do it I thought you never cried
Not since my eighth birthday.
I think I'm starting again.
- How come? - Because I just found out from where I got the twitch
Someone calls "waaambulance".
Yes. Yes.
Will need them now, huh?
Come on. Do you want to out of here?
Let's go.
Let's find food.
Good. But I eat whatever I want It's disgusting. Let me have a few of you.
- Hey! - Hey!
- You did not seem angry. - About what?
We did not do anything to change
Like the fact that we will still do it must fight Vince Kajinski...
every week all through elementary school?
- Yeah. - And we will still be _ through high school?
- But not stupid. - not stupid
And that's what we spend years in our college...
As a flawless jerk with twitch?
And still don't have a family when we are 40?
Yes.
What has been completed is finished But hey, this is our birthday. Well?
Happy birthday, son. Cheerful, kid.
Hello, kid. How are you'?
- Who are you? - Chester, come on, kid.
Did you hear what he just called the dog?
Chester.
Is that...
what is it
- Not possible. - can't
You like old planes
Uh huh.
Yes.
You did all of this
You put the plane in front of my door
I'm sure you have many questions.
- Yeah. - Well, I won't worry about that.
You have 30 years to find them.
Now I have to go. Waitin family '.
That's very good see you again
- I'll see you. - See you later.
See you later
Smoking holy
We succeed.
- holy smoke! - holy smoke!
- We succeed! - We did it!
Yeah-ho-ho!
- I'm fine! We're fine - We're fine
We're fine
- No, you are a pilot. - I'm a pilot - We grew up to be pilots!
We grew to become pilots! Hey!
- Do you see our dog? - What is his name? - Chester
- Chester, world biggest dog - greatest dog in the world!
Yes! Hoo-Ha, Hoo-Ha... One, right, left, left...
- Do you see our family? - Yeah.
Wild.
The old woman looks familiar.
Yes. I think so too.
- see us go - Yeah.
Look at us leaving.
I'm not a loser Look at us leaving.
Child?
See you later, kid.
Thank you.
Hello?
I'm here.
Russ?
- Russ? - Hi, Janet I'm back here. I'll be out soon.
Hey, there are a few questions. Why am I not in the office?
Why aren't you in the office?
- Where have you been? - did you call my father
Yes, I told him that you would be there on Sunday to help him move.
He almost suffered a heart attack, if that's your intention What about the plane ticket to Hawaii?
I ordered them. Two first class seats. You leave at 2:00.
Thank you. Have a pen?
Change these names here. Use my credit card.
Russ! Ha ha ha!
- I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it. - Aloha, Janet
I like Hawaii. I like Hawaii!
Do you want to enter?
Yes.