1 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,823 When I look back on my Sophomore year in high school, 2 00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:26,883 I was...well... a uniquely tragic wreck. 3 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,928 In subsequent time, there have been some, 4 00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:31,692 friend and foe alike who have come to question this claim. 5 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,795 But I come armed with proof. 6 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,603 At times like these I like to think about the moments 7 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,938 before I go on a roller coaster and feel the need 8 00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:42,533 to emulate announcements one might hear while waiting in line for such a ride. 9 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,503 Because what you are about to witness 10 00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,238 is not for the weak-of-heart, 11 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,148 the easily offended 12 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:51,242 or those individuals who suffer from a fragile constitution. 13 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,148 If you fall into any of these categories, I would urge you: 14 00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:55,749 leave now. 15 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,680 Pregnant women are cautioned as well. 16 00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,589 Anyway, that's me: right there, Chance Marquis. 17 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,830 A name my dear departed mother thought 18 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,695 apropos for the gamble she took on having me. 19 00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,924 High school's a mess for a lot of us, I realize. 20 00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,037 But in comparison to my mess, 21 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,539 you might feel a twinge of guilt 22 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,099 for ever thinking yours was at all challenging. 23 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,404 After all, 24 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,577 everything's about perspective, is it not? 25 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,639 So, allow me to provide you with some... 26 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,877 ...Oh but this isn't where my story begins. 27 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,754 It starts one year earlier when I entered 28 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,120 Brickland International High School as a transfer. 29 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:34,793 My fourth new school in the last four years and my first time in Europe. 30 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,701 Keep in mind, this was the '80s. 31 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,965 Sometimes known as the decade fashion forgot. 32 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:45,837 Like leg warmers, 33 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,966 always essential when getting ready for first period Algebra. 34 00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:53,406 There was also a preponderance of thin ties and mullet haircuts. 35 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:54,876 In any case, 36 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:58,275 even then I recognized all this conformity as tragic. 37 00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,554 That one day we'd look back on the parachute pants 38 00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:03,283 and obsession over Smurfs and ask ourselves... 39 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:04,713 Why? 40 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,050 But if the fashion was nightmare-ish 41 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,625 at least the music was good... 42 00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:11,197 which provided a fairly accurate soundtrack 43 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,461 to the comic tragedy that was my life back then. 44 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:47,026 I was assigned locker No. 13. 45 00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:48,459 I was assigned locker No. 13. 46 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,253 It was a bad omen...and then this: 47 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,990 Within minutes, it was evident, 48 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:55,129 I was in hell... 49 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:57,828 literally. 50 00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,773 We've got spirit, yes we do! 51 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:02,707 We've got spirit and how 'bout you?! 52 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:04,841 I think it's in my locker... 53 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,404 trying to get out, apparently. 54 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,650 Faggot. 55 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,018 Oh really, no... 56 00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,263 don't feel the need to announce your 57 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,128 your sexual-persuasion for my benefit. 58 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,091 Not me, man. You! 59 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,598 I can smell the stench all over you. It stinks! 60 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,273 Which begs the question: 61 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,104 What were you just sniffing to pick up the scent? 62 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:36,631 Their jock-straps? 63 00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:40,470 Listen, 64 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,370 here's the rule, Mr. Peanut. 65 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,018 You do not speak to me unless I give you permission. 66 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:45,916 You understand? 67 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:47,946 I understand. 68 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,249 I'm just not going to comply. 69 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:53,157 I did not give you permission to speak, homo-breath! 70 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:54,920 He is making me crabby. 71 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:58,621 And here I thought that was your natural state... Aahhh! 72 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,359 Brad, what are you doing? 73 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,868 And who's he? 74 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,768 Dead meat in about 2 seconds. 75 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,063 Can you like, 76 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:08,263 pull yourself away from your senseless terrorizing? 77 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:09,903 We need to talk. 78 00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,177 Did you 'like' get permission? 79 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:13,513 You better shut-it man! 80 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,515 Oh my god, is he, like, raging again? 81 00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:16,914 You shut it too, Rachel! 82 00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:19,076 Brad, Brad... 83 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:21,615 Come on, let's go. 84 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,884 I'm telling you, Willy Wonka is history. 85 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,184 Brad Harden... 86 00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:29,283 and cronies. 87 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:30,651 I would ruminate more, 88 00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,830 but we'll just let Brad read his own lines, 89 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,067 only in the more Neanderthal manner befitting his 'character'. 90 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,344 Are you Chance Marquis? 91 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,708 The one and only. 92 00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:49,677 Great! 93 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:50,874 I'm Loretta Getzick, 94 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,286 Devil's Advocate Senior Sports Editor... 95 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,844 And you're on my team. 96 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,513 Um, you know I don't really do sports. 97 00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,159 I know that most baseball uniforms 98 00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:02,428 are inexplicably made of a cotton-polyester blend, 99 00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,918 but that's about the extent of it. 100 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,898 Ah, you'll learn then. 101 00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:09,095 We have an open slot and Ms. Utterbach assigned you. 102 00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:12,372 Well, is Ms. 'Ootle-blagh' unaware of my knack of 103 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,567 covering the daily antics of Rosemary Clooney? 104 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:17,875 Or my witty commentaries on student fashion tragedies? 105 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:19,779 It was all in my resume... 106 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:22,043 I really have no idea what you're talking about, 107 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,610 nor do I care. 108 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,182 Joey, 109 00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:26,986 five hundred words on newest 110 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,181 swim team member, Sara Bagshawe. 111 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,251 'Is that a Dolphin in our pool?' 112 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,995 Kimmie, in-depth interview with Reichen Froman, 113 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:36,963 the team mascot. 114 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,557 Some art students made a new devil head for the costume. 115 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,761 'Too Scary or Too Merry?' 116 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:48,770 And, a big Brickland Devil's Times welcome to...Chance! 117 00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,166 Full-feature on the varsity football team. 118 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:52,979 I know! 119 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,708 We're going to see what he's made of. 120 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,274 In-depth interviews with players, coaches and fans. 121 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,978 'Is this the year we win it all?' 122 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,592 All what? 123 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,874 Hank Hudson, Staff Photographer. 124 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:26,846 Loretta Go-Get-Em assigned me to 125 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,643 snap some shots for your football piece. 126 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,014 Where do you want to start? 127 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,179 Over. 128 00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:35,888 Let me ask you this, staff-photographer-Hank-Hudson: 129 00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:38,083 do you have knowledge of this football? 130 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,049 Football? 131 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:39,692 Footooboo... 132 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,819 Well, I know that when they play it in America, 133 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:43,622 they call it soccer, 134 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,097 but it looks the same 135 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,362 and if you touch the ball with your hands, 136 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:48,925 they kick you out. 137 00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:49,864 Forever. 138 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,195 Or do they make you a goalie...? 139 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:58,942 What's in your case? 140 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:00,978 What's in yours? 141 00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:03,641 I don't have one. 142 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,573 One what? 143 00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:07,080 Freak. 144 00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:09,717 But curiously enough, I was warming up to him. 145 00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,848 Huh! Urgh! 146 00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:25,663 Take a picture, it'll last longer. 147 00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:28,804 If that was her way of making a witty first- impression, 148 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,611 then my guess was that the pulled-too-tight pony tail 149 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:34,079 was cutting-off blood flow to her brain. 150 00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:39,982 I don't 'do' tennis. 151 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,611 Forty-love and deuce and shit... 152 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,782 no wonder the British lost, 153 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,792 can't even figure out how to score stuff. 154 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,728 The origin of scoring is French actually, 155 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,161 bastardized into English. 156 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,364 Deuce for instance, 157 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,999 being a corruption of 'deux', 158 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,058 meaning two consecutive exchanges needed to win. 159 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:58,294 Now 'love' is either a vulgarisation of the word 'l'oeuf'... 160 00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:00,905 Please, your dorkiness 161 00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:03,541 was already established with the top-hat and cane. 162 00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:06,369 Look, 163 00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,948 Heretic can't see over to this backstop. 164 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,082 Which means 165 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:11,918 I don't have to hit a stupid ball 166 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,386 against a wall for 45 minutes. 167 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,086 So fascinating! 168 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,148 Heretic? 169 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,183 Coach Hera. 170 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,852 The troglodyte from sex-reassignment hell. 171 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:22,923 Really? 172 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,296 She was a he? 173 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,224 In actuality, 174 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:28,560 who the hell knows? 175 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,169 in my made-up reality, 176 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:30,828 yes! 177 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:32,805 I'm Chance. 178 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:35,103 Your reality just might fascinate me. 179 00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,136 Twyla. 180 00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:38,002 And your pasty-white legs 181 00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,201 definitely repulse me. 182 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,144 If the shorts weren't so dark, the contrast would be lessened. 183 00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:46,410 Ergo, my legs would not appear so falsely pale. 184 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,612 You don't have many friends, do you Chance? 185 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,023 I just moved here. 186 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,115 So far, I hate it. 187 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,997 Not likely to change. 188 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,926 Chance Marquis, please report to Administration. 189 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,366 Now. 190 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:07,799 Admin's that way... 191 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,713 Chance Marquis... 192 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:17,075 Vice Principal Ophelia Smelker. 193 00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:19,707 As disturbing in-person as she appears in her photos, 194 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:23,320 and quite possibly the most odorous human I've ever encountered... 195 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,054 and not in a pleasing way. 196 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,655 Remove the hat, please. 197 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,558 Looking over your file here... 198 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,922 Transfer records, report cards, 199 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,466 personal items. 200 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:39,227 Why aren't you enrolled in our mixed choir? 201 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,764 Uh, polyps. 202 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,066 I beg your pardon. 203 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,968 Polyps. On my vocal cords. 204 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,736 I can't sing until they heal. 205 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,910 What about surgery? 206 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:51,375 It's against our religion. 207 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,348 Which is...? 208 00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:55,850 Not to be discussed. 209 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:04,964 Your permanent records show, among other things, 210 00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:07,266 instances of misbehavior, 211 00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:10,302 insubordination and episodes of... 212 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,430 channelling deceased torch singers, 213 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:19,006 such as: Rosemary Clooney, Dionne Warwick and Ethel Merman. 214 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,846 Care to explain that one? 215 00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,211 I'd rather not, it's personal. 216 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,282 And quite frankly, 217 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,909 I don't remember because I'm not 'au courant' when it happens. 218 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:35,252 There's one thing you will have to explain: 219 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,395 your locker. 220 00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:40,625 Destruction of school property is a severe offense. 221 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,366 As it should be. 222 00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:44,698 But my question to you would be this: 223 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:47,039 what branch of logic do you cleave to 224 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,473 that would explain why I would destroy my own locker? 225 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,877 The first day of school is often filled with rage... 226 00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,781 especially for transfer students. 227 00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:09,557 V-P Smelker runs a tight ship here at Brickland High. 228 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:13,823 Her tolerance is low for wiseacres. 229 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:16,696 And even lower for weirdoes. 230 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,229 CAPEESH?! 231 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:23,399 I was unaware that overweight women from the Eastern block used words like 'capeesh'. 232 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,418 Then Mrs. Zito split us into groups. 233 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,956 I'm in the 'Alligators' for math and science. 234 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:43,886 And where do the Alligators rank? 235 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:47,197 Starts with an 'A', Sir. Duh! Tippy-top. 236 00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,024 Outstanding. Excellent! 237 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,900 What's that doing on the table? 238 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,133 Chance wore it to school today. 239 00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:58,367 What next, a dress? 240 00:12:58,811 --> 00:12:59,835 My dad. 241 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,774 A man who never met a rule he didn't try out at least once... 242 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,473 or a firearm. 243 00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,417 What kind of reaction do you get when you show up with something like that on? 244 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,186 It varies. 245 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:12,382 The people behind me get upset because they can't see the blackboard... 246 00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:13,654 Due to the hat. 247 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,318 Mostly, they just miss the point. 248 00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:17,823 Which is what, exactly? 249 00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:21,300 That my chosen expression of individualism should be embraced, 250 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,267 not ridiculed. 251 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,997 Someone hit him in the head with a tennis ball. 252 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,340 Then he got sent to the Vice Principal 253 00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,399 after a bully called him a homosexual. 254 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:31,672 Sienna, 255 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,039 my real sister with the fake accent. 256 00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:37,338 I tell her everything and, quite often, live to regret it. 257 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,715 Why did they send you to the principal's office for that? 258 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,450 Long story. 259 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:44,814 She already has it out for me though. 260 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,426 She's also one of the largest women I've ever seen... 261 00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:48,825 like circus-large. 262 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,763 I'm sure if she were to grow a beard, 263 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,698 which I'm quite certain she's capable of- 264 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:53,596 Chance, 265 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,398 understood. 266 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,502 Sounds like you had a rough day, Cadet. 267 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:02,975 But I think you forgot rule number one, 268 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,743 which is: when kids call you names, 269 00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:05,811 you stand up for yourself 270 00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:06,869 like a man. 271 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,946 I think he needs more R-T-T. 272 00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,085 Retrograde Tactical Training? 273 00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:14,017 Roger that. 274 00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:16,716 What did you enjoy most about that? 275 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,154 Jujitsu. 276 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:19,824 Aye! 277 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,024 When I was nine. 278 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,261 'Kids' aren't calling me names. 279 00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:26,858 One of them, Brad Harden, 280 00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:27,966 called me 'homo-breath,' 281 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,495 but he started off with 'faggot'. 282 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:30,867 Chance, 283 00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,997 you know I don't like to hear that word in this house. 284 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,970 As opposed to just living with one? 285 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,086 Getting settled in? 286 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,425 Listen Chance, 287 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,867 a unit is only as strong as its weakest link. 288 00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:08,931 It's my job to shore up the links. 289 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,537 Do you understand? 290 00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:17,376 Chance, 291 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:20,282 understood? 292 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,419 Lights out soon. 293 00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:33,357 I said come back here right now. 294 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,493 Don't walk away from me, we're not done discussing this! 295 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,203 Well, I'm done discussing it! 296 00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:41,764 Did you ever think that playing football is not the answer to everything? 297 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,937 Then explain to me how you're gonna pay for your tuition! 298 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:48,103 How are you gonna pay for your studies?! 299 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,716 You think its me who's gonna pay for that! 300 00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,451 I don't care, I'll figure something out! 301 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,420 Don't blow this football scholarship, Lee. 302 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,786 Start figuring that out and soon!! 303 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:03,481 Sometimes life has a strange way of giving you EXACTLY what you want. 304 00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:14,266 And then making you pay, 305 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,597 dearly. 306 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,188 So, does your dad keep like, guns and artillery at home? 307 00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:40,920 Uh, affirmative. 308 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,796 The hand-grenades are stored in the dining buffet 309 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,388 and he only loads the semi-automatics, 310 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:47,456 but we feel very safe. 311 00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:50,969 Are you trying to piss me off on purpose? 312 00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,300 Because sittin' here 313 00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:55,240 with you two losers is doing nothing for my reputation. 314 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,640 And, for the record...you are poison. 315 00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,907 And you're... plain toxic. 316 00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:04,573 Well, your reputation, from what I observe, is pretty much non-existent. 317 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:07,186 So at least being seen with us, you have fumes of relevance. 318 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,448 It's a step up in my book. 319 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,087 Do you smell that? 320 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:16,854 Students... 321 00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:19,792 On the bench Miss Tiller. 322 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,999 Tables are not chairs. 323 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,632 Mr. Hudson, 324 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,307 open your briefcase please. 325 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:34,206 Why? 326 00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,281 A general inspection. 327 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,078 This is private property. 328 00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:41,309 That's illegal search and seizure. 329 00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:42,847 Not on this campus. 330 00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:45,982 This school is beholden to a different law: 331 00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:48,892 'V-P Smelker's Law.' 332 00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,287 OPEN IT! 333 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,101 What happened to your eye? 334 00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,143 Nothing, 335 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,303 why do you inquire? 336 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,379 Could you move those? 337 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,822 Ahh, I missed the first two days of class... 338 00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,127 Ms. Hughes said you were the only solo left. 339 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,998 Guess that makes us lab partners. 340 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,872 Well, I pride myself on being the last chosen, not only in sports, 341 00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,931 but in combustible experiments as well. 342 00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:40,075 I'm Levi. 343 00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:41,513 Uh, Chance Marquis. 344 00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,011 Chance. C-H-A-N-C-E. Chance. 345 00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:53,784 I think we're neighbors... 346 00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:00,332 I don't suppose you'd believe I have an identical twin brother 347 00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,856 who looks exactly like me... 348 00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,664 I can show you how to rig your cable box for the porn channels. 349 00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:15,312 Hey, forget about it - I already have. Okay? 350 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,147 I wish my ex-girlfriend looked at me like that a couple of times, though. 351 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,415 What happened to your eye? 352 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,492 Nothing. 353 00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:28,254 Why? 354 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:43,633 Hey, Cinderfella, 355 00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:46,007 the women's locker room is on the other side. 356 00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,742 Oh! Um... Listen up sporty-type-fellas. 357 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,685 Look, I'm doing a piece on the team 358 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,120 for the paper and was really, really 359 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,348 hoping for some interviews? 360 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,986 You breakin' my no-talk rule again? 361 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,819 Why do you have to defy me? Huh?! 362 00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,462 Call me a masochist. 363 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:04,827 I'll call you a douche-bag, 364 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,090 'cuz that's what you are. 365 00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:10,227 Listen up! 366 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:13,067 As the team captain, I'm giving a direct order here... 367 00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:16,074 Nobody talks to the douche-bag about our team. 368 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:16,665 You got it? 369 00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:18,167 Not one word, okay? 370 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:19,169 How come? 371 00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,270 Well, you see Gus man... that's why I'm here. 372 00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,748 To think when your brain pauses. 373 00:21:26,251 --> 00:21:28,014 You don't want homosexuals in your head. 374 00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:30,780 Give 'em a crack and 375 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,624 you're listenin' to 'Sister Christian' 376 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,218 and jerking off to pictures of Patrick Swayze! 377 00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:36,822 Night Ranger's gay? 378 00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:39,288 Well, who knows man, but that fuckin' song is! 379 00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,667 Patrick Swayze pictures? 380 00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:43,430 Or Rick Springfield, you know whoever! 381 00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:46,634 Look, the point is... 382 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,069 he'll just write some girlie article 383 00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:51,231 that'll make us look like girls! 384 00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:56,972 I'm sorry fruit-fly, 385 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,450 but that's the way the fudge is packed. 386 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,291 Why do you let him call you those names? 387 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:20,666 Well, where I show anger and agitation over his derogatory comments regarding what I am, 388 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,438 I bequeath him power, no? 389 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:28,206 And I've deduced that since Brad's intelligence hovers only slightly above that of burnt toast, 390 00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,943 why give him that kind of control over me? 391 00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:13,057 The 'Split Infinitives' ladies and gentlemen. 392 00:23:14,192 --> 00:23:15,216 Not bad, huh? 393 00:23:15,327 --> 00:23:16,692 A back-beat would help. 394 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,556 Drummer's taking a leak. 395 00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:20,759 What do you think? 396 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:23,702 Ah, I... I think, 397 00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:25,431 Foreigner songs are better left to... Foreigner? 398 00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:27,035 That wasn't Foreigner. 399 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,067 Do you ever cover the Carpenters? 400 00:23:29,374 --> 00:23:31,035 Karen has a lovely voice. 401 00:23:38,016 --> 00:23:39,711 Hey! What's the faggot doing here? 402 00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,021 Your band is dreadful. 403 00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:47,781 But they're actually a lot better without you! 404 00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:51,960 A real cute kid. 405 00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:06,304 Take a chill-pill, 406 00:24:06,878 --> 00:24:10,041 you'll totally smell her before she gets within 50 yards. 407 00:24:10,248 --> 00:24:11,681 A hundred if we're downwind. 408 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,181 She's in my nightmares. 409 00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:17,382 She IS my nightmares... 410 00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:21,683 Hey, you guys wanna go into the city this weekend? 411 00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:23,520 I have this day-long photo project, 412 00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:24,663 what I have to do, see, 413 00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:27,232 is take a picture every hour of the same thing and- 414 00:24:27,232 --> 00:24:29,201 Okay. We'll go. 415 00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:30,566 And for future reference, 416 00:24:30,769 --> 00:24:33,499 we don't care that much about your photo projects. 417 00:24:33,772 --> 00:24:34,966 So fascinating! 418 00:24:55,794 --> 00:24:56,818 Can I just ask: 419 00:24:57,028 --> 00:24:59,963 what's proper protocol should this vehicle spontaneously combust? 420 00:25:00,432 --> 00:25:02,634 Look Prince Weird-Clothes, 421 00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:06,092 if his highness would rather walk, I can pull over right now. 422 00:25:06,404 --> 00:25:07,530 Zip it... 423 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:50,810 Finally. 424 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:52,713 Can we do something interesting now? 425 00:25:53,818 --> 00:25:54,807 I thought we were. 426 00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:56,982 Do we look interested? 427 00:25:58,089 --> 00:25:59,391 It's sort of hard to tell, 428 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:02,360 cuz the two of you never look interested in anything. 429 00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:07,158 I have an idea... 430 00:26:07,632 --> 00:26:10,430 I'm just not sure if two of you are man enough... 431 00:26:11,369 --> 00:26:12,267 Are you? 432 00:26:13,638 --> 00:26:15,206 Agreed. Stupid question. 433 00:26:15,206 --> 00:26:16,901 Of course you are, Sir. 434 00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:19,602 C'mon girls. 435 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,642 This looks like a nice upscale neighborhood. 436 00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:24,849 Look out for the curve... 437 00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:26,407 Relax... I'm parking. 438 00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,894 Those things will kill you. 439 00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,425 They're much like dark alleys that way. 440 00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:47,969 Club Red and Blue. 441 00:26:48,239 --> 00:26:49,641 Twenty-one and over. 442 00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:51,268 So we're going in the side entrance. 443 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:52,638 With what? 444 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:54,972 A battering ram and fake police badges? 445 00:26:56,681 --> 00:26:58,114 C'mon, just follow me. 446 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:00,642 What kind of club is this? 447 00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:01,976 You'll see. 448 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:09,491 Hey Sasha. 449 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,659 Hi Twyla, how are you? 450 00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:12,931 I'm sixteen, 451 00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:15,331 in high school and I got two losers in-tow. 452 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,404 Life just continues to suck big ostrich eggs. 453 00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:20,428 Yeah, yeah, yeah... 454 00:29:29,234 --> 00:29:30,599 You lost, sweetie? 455 00:29:31,169 --> 00:29:32,534 Help me with the dress, will you. 456 00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:52,821 So schoolboy, 457 00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:54,254 how do they call you? 458 00:29:54,526 --> 00:29:55,618 Chance Marquis. 459 00:29:56,361 --> 00:29:57,453 Claire Vuoyant. 460 00:29:58,296 --> 00:29:59,786 What a fabulous name. 461 00:30:00,231 --> 00:30:02,461 Give my regards to the angel who named you. 462 00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:05,102 That would be my dear-departed mother. 463 00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:06,268 May she rest in peace. 464 00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:09,037 Claire Vuoyant, 465 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:10,134 I like it. 466 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:11,973 I can see queerly now! 467 00:30:14,145 --> 00:30:15,908 So, how old are you? 468 00:30:16,714 --> 00:30:17,908 Uh...twenty-two. 469 00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:20,845 Yeah, right. Six years from now, baby. 470 00:30:21,186 --> 00:30:23,416 Hum ! You don't bullshit a drag, 471 00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:26,155 especially when she's known for her precognitive powers. 472 00:30:26,357 --> 00:30:29,292 It only leads to a heartache and a sore rear. 473 00:30:29,861 --> 00:30:32,625 I think we're scaring Oliver Twist over here, ladies! 474 00:30:33,064 --> 00:30:34,190 I'm not scared. 475 00:30:39,103 --> 00:30:42,407 Good, because with a little glitter and a fabulous dress 476 00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:43,931 get your britches in a twist, 477 00:30:44,075 --> 00:30:46,669 you'll positively faint when Lily Pad over there, 478 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,210 takes her thong off. 479 00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:51,776 You were great out there tonight. 480 00:30:51,916 --> 00:30:53,543 Thank you, Rex Reed. 481 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,181 Oh, don't mention the hair? 482 00:30:57,322 --> 00:31:00,052 The dress? The dress was a star tonight! 483 00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:03,124 The whole package was astounding. 484 00:31:03,428 --> 00:31:06,488 Well, if done correctly, the package was invisible. 485 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:09,864 Where's Chance? 486 00:31:10,134 --> 00:31:11,294 He was right behind me. 487 00:31:11,436 --> 00:31:12,801 Go find him! 488 00:31:13,504 --> 00:31:14,630 What're you going to do? 489 00:31:15,173 --> 00:31:16,902 Wait. Have a cigarette. 490 00:31:17,342 --> 00:31:19,606 Ponder why dweebs are drawn to me. 491 00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:24,881 Well, you don't learn it, per se. 492 00:31:25,516 --> 00:31:27,984 It's more like... it just pops out one day. 493 00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:29,718 Then you refine. 494 00:31:30,088 --> 00:31:32,352 Find the right dress, the right song, 495 00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:35,785 right name, and then you practice till your feet bleed. 496 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:37,118 Bitch, 497 00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:39,430 your feet wouldn't bleed if you'd admit 498 00:31:39,430 --> 00:31:43,992 to their actual big-ass largeness and stop wearing size-sixes. 499 00:31:45,003 --> 00:31:48,769 Lily, until you stop menstruating, talk to the hand! 500 00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:52,043 You're all so sassy and sarcastic, 501 00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:54,273 but no one retaliates in a truly harmful way. 502 00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:58,238 I saw that bitch! 503 00:31:58,616 --> 00:32:01,608 Don't make me replace your crack with baking soda! 504 00:32:04,889 --> 00:32:05,787 Chance? 505 00:32:08,526 --> 00:32:09,288 Here, 506 00:32:10,295 --> 00:32:11,592 you should try it some time. 507 00:32:11,829 --> 00:32:13,126 I think you'd be a natural. 508 00:32:17,902 --> 00:32:19,369 Just remember, Chance, 509 00:32:20,038 --> 00:32:21,300 this is an illusion. 510 00:32:21,439 --> 00:32:23,600 You have to make everyone believe. 511 00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:26,342 Starting with yourself. 512 00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:54,739 No-no, if you wait to jump a half-second longer, 513 00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:57,071 the frog can make it across in a straight shot, but-- 514 00:32:57,141 --> 00:32:58,403 Hey, Tinkerbell! 515 00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:02,212 So how's the story going, man? 516 00:33:02,513 --> 00:33:03,241 You want a quote? 517 00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:06,078 Yup. 518 00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:08,678 Someday soon, 519 00:33:09,587 --> 00:33:11,077 when you least expect it, 520 00:33:11,689 --> 00:33:14,522 I am gonna totally kick your fairy-ass. 521 00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:17,459 Brad, can we go? 522 00:33:18,062 --> 00:33:19,263 Just screwin' with him baby, 523 00:33:19,263 --> 00:33:20,423 just screwin' with him. 524 00:33:24,402 --> 00:33:25,562 Hmmm.... peanuts, don't mind if I do. 525 00:33:30,274 --> 00:33:33,004 You familiar with the concept of REVENGE? 526 00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:37,113 Yeah, ever since Judy Hatteberg appropriated my chalk in kindergarten. 527 00:33:38,182 --> 00:33:39,308 She paid. 528 00:33:40,785 --> 00:33:43,354 You're a shark, and Brad's the remora, 529 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:46,687 suctioned to you tighter than spandex on David Lee Roth. 530 00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:50,293 So, there's only one thing to do: 531 00:33:50,461 --> 00:33:51,996 grab it by its tail, 532 00:33:51,996 --> 00:33:54,396 rip it from your flesh and then SMASH IT! 533 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:02,636 High school is like Darwinism in a test tube: survival of the fittest. 534 00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:06,568 Only here, because Brad outweighs you by fifty pounds, 535 00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:09,509 fit equals smart. 536 00:34:12,850 --> 00:34:14,147 Hey Chance, 537 00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:18,420 you still need someone to interview for your story? 538 00:34:18,856 --> 00:34:19,584 Why? 539 00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:21,292 Did you take pity on me and convince your 540 00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:24,159 best friend and favorite drummer, Brad Harden, to sit for an interview? 541 00:34:24,295 --> 00:34:25,626 Brad hates you. 542 00:34:26,330 --> 00:34:28,958 Besides, the only thing that convinces Brad of anything 543 00:34:29,467 --> 00:34:30,229 is Brad. 544 00:34:30,835 --> 00:34:31,733 Or Toni. 545 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,803 But even then, it's only when she's denying him sex. 546 00:34:37,108 --> 00:34:40,942 Anyway, I was thinkin' you could interview me. 547 00:34:42,513 --> 00:34:45,710 Well, I hate to point out the fact that you might be as dense as a redwood, Levi, 548 00:34:45,850 --> 00:34:48,119 but I need to interview someone who actually plays on the team. 549 00:34:48,119 --> 00:34:49,848 Ergo, not you. 550 00:34:49,954 --> 00:34:51,444 I appreciate the insult. 551 00:34:51,856 --> 00:34:52,720 What insult? 552 00:34:52,990 --> 00:34:55,159 I'm a first-string forward. 553 00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:57,161 I haven't been practicing because of a knee injury, 554 00:34:57,161 --> 00:34:59,288 but it should be okay by the season opener. 555 00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:00,131 Wait, wait... What? 556 00:35:00,131 --> 00:35:01,996 You're getting around to telling me this, now? 557 00:35:02,533 --> 00:35:05,001 I thought you'd appreciate the, you know... 558 00:35:05,470 --> 00:35:06,835 dramatic pause. 559 00:35:08,306 --> 00:35:09,034 Why? 560 00:35:09,507 --> 00:35:12,340 Aren't your people all into drama and stuff? 561 00:35:13,144 --> 00:35:16,841 You're so correct, right up there with gingham and party-planning. 562 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:20,380 My 'people' are also into the fashionably ironic, 563 00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:22,876 but I'll make an exception in your case. 564 00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:30,060 Hey! I can be ironic! 565 00:35:34,932 --> 00:35:36,923 Dang, is this inside out? 566 00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:41,968 What's your favorite kind of music? 567 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:43,739 I like lots of music. 568 00:35:45,476 --> 00:35:47,944 Correction. I love music. 569 00:35:51,315 --> 00:35:52,942 When is your band playing next? 570 00:35:57,855 --> 00:36:00,221 'Seventh Annual Battle-of-the-High-School-Bands' 571 00:36:01,359 --> 00:36:03,828 The winner gets one-free-week studio time, 572 00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:07,594 and a guaranteed listen of their music by some big London music producer. 573 00:36:07,932 --> 00:36:09,229 Pretty sweet, huh? 574 00:36:10,034 --> 00:36:11,661 I think we have a real shot. 575 00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,464 Who, 'we'? 576 00:36:15,406 --> 00:36:16,498 The Split-Infinitives! 577 00:36:16,707 --> 00:36:18,299 We're gonna rock the shit. 578 00:36:20,378 --> 00:36:21,868 Can I be honest with you, Chance? 579 00:36:22,413 --> 00:36:24,745 Music is my life. 580 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,115 It's everything. 581 00:36:26,717 --> 00:36:28,548 I can feel it, in my soul. 582 00:36:28,986 --> 00:36:29,611 You know? 583 00:36:31,289 --> 00:36:32,449 Well, can I be honest with you? 584 00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,091 From what I heard, your band is... 585 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:37,088 how do I best put this: 586 00:36:37,929 --> 00:36:38,918 God-awful. 587 00:36:39,730 --> 00:36:41,357 Fetid. Pedicular. 588 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,027 And by pedicular, I mean lousy. 589 00:36:44,735 --> 00:36:46,066 I don't expect you to get it. 590 00:36:46,437 --> 00:36:48,105 People who feel the music, 591 00:36:48,105 --> 00:36:49,504 who can't live without it, 592 00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:50,674 they get it. 593 00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:52,871 Besides, we'll get better. 594 00:36:53,277 --> 00:36:54,045 Levi? 595 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:55,410 Oh, didn't know you had company. 596 00:36:55,813 --> 00:36:56,614 This is Chance. 597 00:36:56,614 --> 00:36:57,603 He lives next door. 598 00:36:58,015 --> 00:36:59,505 How's the knee, you run today? 599 00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:04,585 Chance is writing an article on the team for the school paper. 600 00:37:05,122 --> 00:37:06,020 That right? 601 00:37:06,490 --> 00:37:07,758 Lee's the best! 602 00:37:07,758 --> 00:37:10,921 He's gonna have U.S. university recruiters salivating over him this year, 603 00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:12,529 right, Lee? 604 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:14,589 Right, Dad. 605 00:37:21,839 --> 00:37:25,240 The rain in Spain flows mainly in the plain... 606 00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:31,539 Braid my hair? 607 00:37:33,050 --> 00:37:34,952 'Split Infinitives' 608 00:37:34,952 --> 00:37:37,355 - that's a stupid name for a band, I think. 609 00:37:37,355 --> 00:37:39,255 You're a way better singer than he is. 610 00:37:40,825 --> 00:37:42,226 How is it you state things with such 611 00:37:42,226 --> 00:37:44,194 atypical certainty and authority? 612 00:37:44,862 --> 00:37:46,762 And in such a flawless, bogus accent? 613 00:37:48,366 --> 00:37:50,266 It's like you know exactly what everyone should be doing... 614 00:37:51,335 --> 00:37:52,495 Or what they should be. 615 00:37:53,571 --> 00:37:55,061 Not what, who. 616 00:37:55,506 --> 00:37:57,440 For instance, I am a beauty queen. 617 00:37:57,642 --> 00:37:59,377 Do I push that away? No, 618 00:37:59,377 --> 00:38:00,469 I embrace it. 619 00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:03,371 And mastering this accent is the final piece in the puzzle... 620 00:38:03,648 --> 00:38:05,912 that is, Miss U.K. Junior twelve-and-under. 621 00:38:07,918 --> 00:38:09,613 Everyone should embrace who they are. 622 00:38:10,154 --> 00:38:11,246 Including you. 623 00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:15,192 Well, you'll learn as you get older, 624 00:38:15,192 --> 00:38:16,887 you actually know less about who you are. 625 00:38:19,497 --> 00:38:20,798 That's just silly talk. 626 00:38:20,798 --> 00:38:21,932 I know who you are. 627 00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:23,058 And what you should be. 628 00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:28,027 There you go. 629 00:38:29,807 --> 00:38:30,637 Thanks! 630 00:39:06,577 --> 00:39:08,312 Bee-rilliant! 631 00:39:08,312 --> 00:39:11,215 You really came through, Chance. Good job! 632 00:39:11,215 --> 00:39:15,015 Hank, your photos are totally wicked! 633 00:39:15,853 --> 00:39:19,050 I think the team's going to read it and be inspired. 634 00:39:19,523 --> 00:39:21,718 It's going to be a good season! 635 00:39:24,762 --> 00:39:26,229 They're going to blow. 636 00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:28,031 Most assuredly. 637 00:39:33,738 --> 00:39:35,069 Brilliant! 638 00:39:37,174 --> 00:39:38,607 Good to have your bender back. 639 00:39:38,809 --> 00:39:39,776 Yeah. 640 00:39:41,011 --> 00:39:43,138 So uh... I gotta ask, 641 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:44,473 what were you thinking? 642 00:39:46,083 --> 00:39:48,347 You know, talkin' to the jack-off for his story? 643 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,021 It's just a stupid article, who cares? 644 00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:52,750 Well, everyone man. 645 00:39:53,424 --> 00:39:54,686 And now it's in print. 646 00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:55,722 Forever. 647 00:39:56,026 --> 00:39:58,229 Look, I don't know if you noticed lately, 648 00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,560 but we are the shit around here. 649 00:39:59,797 --> 00:40:03,426 Gods, man. And I've worked way too hard to let you throw that away 650 00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:06,100 by hanging with some lunatic-fringe fairy-queen. 651 00:40:06,704 --> 00:40:08,467 He's turning you into a joke, Levi. 652 00:40:08,939 --> 00:40:10,201 And you don't even see it. 653 00:40:10,508 --> 00:40:11,736 You give him too much credit. 654 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,433 No, the credit's all yours! 655 00:40:15,679 --> 00:40:16,941 Stay away from him, man. 656 00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:19,943 Is that a threat? 657 00:40:31,996 --> 00:40:33,293 What are you looking for? 658 00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,698 A little peace and quiet. 659 00:40:45,209 --> 00:40:46,506 This was her favorite. 660 00:40:47,178 --> 00:40:48,543 It's beautifully crafted. 661 00:40:48,913 --> 00:40:50,312 Look at the beading detail. 662 00:40:51,015 --> 00:40:52,243 A timeless fashion. 663 00:40:52,616 --> 00:40:53,708 Exquisite... 664 00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,187 Why are you looking through Mom's old dresses? 665 00:41:00,024 --> 00:41:01,491 Don't you have a tiara to polish? 666 00:41:09,099 --> 00:41:09,724 Hey, Levi. 667 00:41:10,201 --> 00:41:12,965 I just wanted to say thanks again, for aiding me with my article. 668 00:41:13,604 --> 00:41:16,266 I thought you might like some of Hank's photos of you at soccer practice... 669 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:17,634 Uh, hello? 670 00:41:18,209 --> 00:41:19,699 Thanks, but I'll pass. 671 00:42:17,935 --> 00:42:19,527 Chance do you have a-- 672 00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:21,198 Close the door! 673 00:42:31,415 --> 00:42:32,382 It's not bad... 674 00:42:39,523 --> 00:42:41,514 Have you ever heard of lip-liner? 675 00:42:42,026 --> 00:42:43,084 Hello?! 676 00:42:43,294 --> 00:42:45,660 If Cyndi Lauper can manage it, so can you. 677 00:42:58,342 --> 00:43:00,242 Your foundation is a tad uneven. 678 00:43:03,747 --> 00:43:05,681 Is this your outfit for school tomorrow? 679 00:43:09,887 --> 00:43:11,286 You're going to enter? 680 00:43:12,189 --> 00:43:14,248 Teenagers get to do all the fun stuff. 681 00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:18,384 I don't know how much fun it'll be after ten minutes in heels. 682 00:43:19,196 --> 00:43:20,959 I can show you wear to put band-aids. 683 00:43:21,231 --> 00:43:22,960 They'll keep your feet from blistering. 684 00:43:24,468 --> 00:43:26,527 Hey, don't tell anyone about this. 685 00:43:26,937 --> 00:43:28,336 Especially not Sir. 686 00:43:29,206 --> 00:43:30,730 If anyone I know sees me like this, 687 00:43:30,975 --> 00:43:32,101 I am done for. 688 00:43:34,044 --> 00:43:35,807 No matter how well I pull it off. 689 00:43:41,552 --> 00:43:43,520 Jesus and Mary and our Commander-in-Chief, 690 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:44,321 Ronald Reagan! 691 00:43:44,321 --> 00:43:45,652 What the hell are we doing here?! 692 00:43:50,094 --> 00:43:51,152 Is that your mother's dress? 693 00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:52,891 It shouldn't go to waste. 694 00:43:53,197 --> 00:43:54,425 I did his make-up. 695 00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:57,366 Well, you did a very nice job, Honey... 696 00:43:59,603 --> 00:44:00,865 Okay. 697 00:44:05,042 --> 00:44:06,873 He wanted to spare your feelings, 698 00:44:07,244 --> 00:44:08,905 but truthfully, I could tell... 699 00:44:09,747 --> 00:44:11,476 he thinks your eye shadow is too dark. 700 00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,608 Doesn't anyone ever knock in this house? 701 00:45:30,961 --> 00:45:33,623 The Debbie-Gibson-Red is definitely your color. 702 00:45:38,836 --> 00:45:40,235 Stay calm. 703 00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:44,975 Sasha means well, he thinks he can find for every queen her name and 'inner song'. 704 00:45:44,975 --> 00:45:46,806 It only should take a second. 705 00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:48,870 Pepper Madison. 706 00:45:49,146 --> 00:45:50,078 Dancing Queen! 707 00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:51,813 Are you sure? 708 00:45:51,949 --> 00:45:54,918 Listen to me Pepper, if you sing 'Dancing Queen' 709 00:45:54,918 --> 00:45:57,148 you will be the star performer of the night. 710 00:45:58,222 --> 00:46:00,019 I might even make you a regular. 711 00:46:02,559 --> 00:46:04,128 I didn't practice Dancing Queen. 712 00:46:04,128 --> 00:46:07,586 Don't worry, Sasha means well, but he's a little bit funny in the head. 713 00:46:07,998 --> 00:46:10,558 He always want us to sing 'Dancing Queen.' 714 00:46:12,536 --> 00:46:13,560 Are you nervous? 715 00:46:14,471 --> 00:46:15,233 A little bit... 716 00:46:15,472 --> 00:46:16,140 Yeah... 717 00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:17,573 Okay, a lotta bit. 718 00:46:18,041 --> 00:46:19,443 Don't worry. Butterflies are good. 719 00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:20,569 But think about this: 720 00:46:21,011 --> 00:46:22,706 failure is not an option. 721 00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:26,250 And whatever you do tonight don't turn on the mic. 722 00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:27,114 Ok? 723 00:46:27,351 --> 00:46:29,148 But you'll be a star tonight. 724 00:47:17,367 --> 00:47:19,703 Claire Vuoyant everyone... 725 00:47:19,703 --> 00:47:21,000 always hard to top. 726 00:47:21,438 --> 00:47:25,709 In fact, I have it on good authority she has her ass tattooed: 727 00:47:25,709 --> 00:47:27,233 'No Entry.' 728 00:47:27,711 --> 00:47:29,440 'For eight-inches and under.' 729 00:47:30,881 --> 00:47:33,441 Okay, let's keep this train-wreck of a night going. 730 00:47:33,984 --> 00:47:36,753 Next up is a first-timer, so ladies, 731 00:47:36,753 --> 00:47:39,381 keep those beer bottles in your mouths where they belong. 732 00:47:39,923 --> 00:47:43,381 Here she is: Lucky Chance! 733 00:48:31,008 --> 00:48:33,340 I was bom to run 734 00:48:33,844 --> 00:48:35,903 I was born to dream 735 00:48:36,446 --> 00:48:38,880 Craziest boy you've ever seen 736 00:48:39,516 --> 00:48:41,848 I've gotta do it my way 737 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,218 Or no way at all 738 00:48:46,089 --> 00:48:48,717 And I was here to please 739 00:48:49,293 --> 00:48:51,158 I'm even on my knees 740 00:48:51,361 --> 00:48:54,125 Making love to whoever I please 741 00:48:54,531 --> 00:48:57,193 I've gotta do it my way 742 00:48:57,801 --> 00:49:00,133 Or no way at all 743 00:49:00,837 --> 00:49:03,067 And then you came around 744 00:49:03,373 --> 00:49:05,204 Tryin' to tie me down 745 00:49:05,575 --> 00:49:07,406 I was such a clown 746 00:49:07,978 --> 00:49:10,378 You had to have it your way 747 00:49:11,181 --> 00:49:13,376 Or no way at all 748 00:49:14,985 --> 00:49:17,977 Why don't you turn me loose 749 00:49:18,755 --> 00:49:21,918 Turn me loose, turn me loose 750 00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:25,758 I've gotta have it my way 751 00:49:27,597 --> 00:49:29,929 Or no way at all 752 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:34,062 Why don't you turn me loose 753 00:49:34,604 --> 00:49:38,199 Turn me loose, turn me loose 754 00:49:39,343 --> 00:49:41,903 I've gotta have it my way 755 00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:45,780 Or no way at all 756 00:49:47,884 --> 00:49:50,287 And I'm here to please 757 00:49:50,287 --> 00:49:52,422 Even on my knees 758 00:49:52,422 --> 00:49:55,323 Making love to whoever I please 759 00:49:55,859 --> 00:49:58,521 I've gotta do it my way 760 00:50:49,913 --> 00:50:50,902 What's going on? 761 00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:55,074 The Split Infinitives have officially... 762 00:50:56,186 --> 00:50:56,914 split. 763 00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:00,317 Grammar police cracking down? 764 00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:04,084 Look Chance, I don't mean to be a jerk or nothing, but-- 765 00:51:04,394 --> 00:51:06,419 But you just decided to be one anyway. 766 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:11,768 Listen, I can't really hang with you anymore. 767 00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:15,505 My dad's being a hard-ass about football, 768 00:51:15,505 --> 00:51:17,666 and concentrating on getting a scholarship. 769 00:51:19,309 --> 00:51:20,867 That's why he made you quit the band? 770 00:51:23,046 --> 00:51:25,514 What happened to your whole 'music is my life' mantra? 771 00:51:26,583 --> 00:51:27,242 Well, 772 00:51:28,051 --> 00:51:30,315 it's like you said, we're... What was it? 773 00:51:30,787 --> 00:51:31,583 Pedicular? 774 00:51:33,223 --> 00:51:34,383 So, no big loss. 775 00:51:35,325 --> 00:51:38,294 I don't know a meteor could hit the earth, causing you to get better. 776 00:51:39,129 --> 00:51:40,619 I think I saw it once in an Ed Wood film. 777 00:51:44,401 --> 00:51:46,266 I know the real reason you don't want to be seen with me. 778 00:51:47,504 --> 00:51:48,493 It's not what you think. 779 00:51:49,172 --> 00:51:50,366 I don't care that you dig guys. 780 00:51:52,809 --> 00:51:54,106 I believe that. 781 00:51:55,312 --> 00:51:57,212 But you do care if other people think you do... 782 00:51:58,648 --> 00:52:00,081 by way of association. 783 00:52:02,085 --> 00:52:04,246 I never realized Brad had so much sway over you. 784 00:52:05,755 --> 00:52:07,324 Usually the drummer is the most expendable. 785 00:52:07,324 --> 00:52:09,025 Look, I don't expect you to get it. 786 00:52:09,025 --> 00:52:10,287 There's a news flash. 787 00:52:10,460 --> 00:52:12,189 You don't expect me to get much, do you? 788 00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:15,263 Continually underestimating me for some unknown reason. 789 00:52:17,734 --> 00:52:19,436 You're not as complicated as you think you are. 790 00:52:19,436 --> 00:52:20,425 How the hell would you know? 791 00:52:21,071 --> 00:52:22,299 I'm a teenager, too. 792 00:52:23,406 --> 00:52:25,169 And infinitely more complicated than you. 793 00:52:26,610 --> 00:52:27,440 Is that so? 794 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,071 I don't see any dresses in your closet. 795 00:52:36,453 --> 00:52:37,420 It's okay. 796 00:52:38,788 --> 00:52:40,483 Guys like you are never friends with the likes of me. 797 00:52:41,658 --> 00:52:43,558 So in that regard, you turned out true to form. 798 00:52:46,530 --> 00:52:47,394 Ouch. 799 00:52:51,301 --> 00:52:53,360 Someday, you're gonna have to stand up to people. 800 00:52:54,838 --> 00:52:55,827 People like Brad... 801 00:52:57,274 --> 00:52:58,104 like your father. 802 00:52:59,943 --> 00:53:01,774 Eventually maybe even yourself. 803 00:53:21,531 --> 00:53:24,500 So, how's your revenge-on-Brad plan coming? 804 00:53:25,235 --> 00:53:26,429 Yeah, what you got? 805 00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:28,402 A headache. 806 00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:30,840 Besides, I think he's forgotten about me. 807 00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,535 I'm off his radar. 808 00:53:35,312 --> 00:53:36,210 Jerk! 809 00:53:36,546 --> 00:53:37,171 Hey! 810 00:53:37,614 --> 00:53:38,478 Look, Whoopi, 811 00:53:39,082 --> 00:53:42,051 it ain't my fault his big fat face got in the way, okay? 812 00:53:43,086 --> 00:53:44,246 Hey! Marquis... 813 00:53:44,521 --> 00:53:45,681 next time, duck. 814 00:53:46,223 --> 00:53:47,247 Like the chicken you are. 815 00:53:47,791 --> 00:53:49,088 That makes no sense. 816 00:53:49,759 --> 00:53:51,294 On a pure poultry level. 817 00:53:51,294 --> 00:53:52,629 Hey! Jimmy Olsen, 818 00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:53,863 no one's talking to you. 819 00:53:53,863 --> 00:53:55,298 Why are you so angry all the time? 820 00:53:55,298 --> 00:53:56,629 What did I even do to you? 821 00:53:57,267 --> 00:53:58,700 Invaded my school. 822 00:53:59,336 --> 00:54:02,362 I mean, your presence alone is enough to make me wanna puke. 823 00:54:02,505 --> 00:54:03,836 Don't you get it man? 824 00:54:04,674 --> 00:54:05,834 You don't belong here. 825 00:54:09,045 --> 00:54:10,239 So, leave. 826 00:54:11,381 --> 00:54:13,372 Fairy Academy is back in the states. 827 00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:15,449 They're waiting for you. 828 00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:18,078 Let's go, man. 829 00:54:21,825 --> 00:54:24,020 Forget about it man, well beat him up tomorrow. 830 00:54:29,966 --> 00:54:33,367 So, what was that all about being 'off his radar'? 831 00:54:34,337 --> 00:54:35,895 A man can't go on like this. 832 00:54:36,172 --> 00:54:37,400 Or you, even. 833 00:54:38,508 --> 00:54:39,668 Do something! 834 00:54:41,011 --> 00:54:42,979 I know why he's so angry all the time. 835 00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,218 This plan is unwise. 836 00:54:48,218 --> 00:54:49,549 Not to mention, uncouth. 837 00:54:50,453 --> 00:54:52,717 It's high-risk, I agree. 838 00:54:53,189 --> 00:54:55,123 Grow some balls! The both of you. 839 00:54:55,358 --> 00:54:58,395 And stop talking like a forty-year-old British fop. 840 00:54:58,395 --> 00:54:59,453 It's bizarro. 841 00:55:01,531 --> 00:55:02,896 If I do like this-- 842 00:55:04,267 --> 00:55:04,892 Abort. 843 00:55:06,069 --> 00:55:07,161 and if I do this- 844 00:55:08,271 --> 00:55:10,573 Then the abort is off and we're back on. 845 00:55:10,573 --> 00:55:12,803 But then, if I do... 846 00:55:13,276 --> 00:55:15,744 Mr. Samsonite, shut it! 847 00:55:39,669 --> 00:55:42,934 Okay, Air Craft Carrier Smelker has passed. 848 00:55:43,373 --> 00:55:44,032 C'mon! 849 00:55:59,823 --> 00:56:01,586 I need to see the nurse! 850 00:56:02,559 --> 00:56:03,760 I'm dying. 851 00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:05,227 Not before I get a petition form. 852 00:56:05,695 --> 00:56:09,995 The food at this institution is not fit for sub-species consumption, let alone humans. 853 00:56:10,533 --> 00:56:13,366 One at a time, boys, please I am alone here. 854 00:56:16,005 --> 00:56:17,165 Are you okay? 855 00:56:19,209 --> 00:56:20,267 Oh my God! 856 00:56:24,347 --> 00:56:25,405 What's wrong with him? 857 00:56:25,682 --> 00:56:27,484 You know, I'm certainly no medical expert, but... 858 00:56:27,484 --> 00:56:29,349 ...from the looks of it... 859 00:56:30,019 --> 00:56:31,714 I'd say... He's dying! 860 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,201 It's moved from his throat! 861 00:56:45,201 --> 00:56:46,293 Maybe it's a parasite. 862 00:56:46,903 --> 00:56:48,371 I'm calling the nurse! 863 00:56:48,371 --> 00:56:49,497 Don't leave me! 864 00:56:49,706 --> 00:56:50,832 Not yet. 865 00:57:11,227 --> 00:57:12,819 Stay away from the light... 866 00:57:13,329 --> 00:57:14,921 Stay away from the light... 867 00:57:20,503 --> 00:57:21,902 I think he's trying to confess. 868 00:57:22,372 --> 00:57:24,533 Are you properly trained in the giving of last rites? 869 00:57:25,141 --> 00:57:26,199 I don't know. 870 00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:28,335 Oh no! Don't go, Hank!.. 871 00:57:28,578 --> 00:57:29,476 Don't go... 872 00:57:29,646 --> 00:57:33,016 GO!..He was so sweet-- 873 00:57:33,016 --> 00:57:34,244 I'm okay... 874 00:57:36,119 --> 00:57:37,518 What's happening here? 875 00:57:37,821 --> 00:57:38,651 Allergies. 876 00:57:38,855 --> 00:57:40,015 They come and go. 877 00:57:41,124 --> 00:57:43,024 You were very comforting, though. 878 00:57:43,426 --> 00:57:46,827 Oh...you know...and on second thought... the food is just fine. 879 00:57:54,170 --> 00:57:55,467 You got the combination? 880 00:57:55,738 --> 00:57:58,263 She might smell, but at least her files are organized. 881 00:57:58,441 --> 00:58:00,033 So, when do we do it? 882 00:58:00,276 --> 00:58:01,344 After school. 883 00:58:01,344 --> 00:58:04,211 We just broke into the Vice Principal's office! 884 00:58:04,347 --> 00:58:06,645 Knowing Smelker, she could parlay that into my beheading. 885 00:58:06,950 --> 00:58:09,552 Dammit Marquis, don't wussy out on me. 886 00:58:09,552 --> 00:58:12,020 Or do you like getting smacked in the face by balls? 887 00:58:12,889 --> 00:58:13,913 Don't answer that. 888 00:58:14,390 --> 00:58:18,793 All I'm trying to say, if you want Brad to keep wailing on you, then fine-- 889 00:58:22,031 --> 00:58:22,963 Wait, wait, NO! 890 00:58:23,766 --> 00:58:26,360 Let me just see what's in his locker first, then I'll decide. 891 00:58:33,910 --> 00:58:35,309 Someone loves himself. 892 00:58:36,112 --> 00:58:37,511 Hey! Wait up! 893 00:58:44,454 --> 00:58:45,421 What's that? 894 00:58:47,991 --> 00:58:49,982 The holy grail... 895 00:58:51,327 --> 00:58:52,225 'Roid Rage. 896 00:58:52,562 --> 00:58:54,655 He's been on it for at least a year. 897 00:58:54,898 --> 00:58:56,160 How do you know all this? 898 00:58:56,566 --> 00:58:58,659 Toni Durazo, his fetching girlfriend, 899 00:58:59,102 --> 00:59:00,399 sits next to me in photo. 900 00:59:01,504 --> 00:59:03,306 Her best friend Rachel is behind me 901 00:59:03,306 --> 00:59:05,069 and when notes pass, I'm the go-between. 902 00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:07,206 Sometimes they don't bother to fold them. 903 00:59:07,410 --> 00:59:08,578 And this one time, Toni asked me-- 904 00:59:08,578 --> 00:59:09,875 Okay, got it. 905 00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:12,875 You can read and you've got a hard-on for Toni. 906 00:59:13,049 --> 00:59:14,448 So fascinating! 907 00:59:15,418 --> 00:59:17,147 What do we do now exactly? 908 00:59:17,487 --> 00:59:18,681 What do we do now? 909 00:59:20,223 --> 00:59:22,282 A student taking steroids... 910 00:59:22,859 --> 00:59:24,053 We blow the whistle. 911 00:59:24,727 --> 00:59:27,696 Brad gets caught red handed & BOOM! 912 00:59:27,797 --> 00:59:29,999 Expulsion. Poof! 913 00:59:29,999 --> 00:59:32,934 Gone from Brickland like a bad case of ringworm. 914 00:59:33,303 --> 00:59:35,999 It's so perfect, it makes me want to cry. 915 00:59:36,973 --> 00:59:37,837 How?... 916 00:59:39,409 --> 00:59:40,933 Does it go down, I mean? 917 00:59:41,544 --> 00:59:43,034 Go down? 918 00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:46,913 An anonymous tip. 919 00:59:48,518 --> 00:59:50,587 Seize the day, Chance. 920 00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:53,556 Rid our society from pond-scum like Brad Harden. 921 00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,426 Opportunities like this don't come along every day. 922 00:59:56,426 --> 01:00:00,362 So remember, it's survival of the smartest. 923 01:00:05,802 --> 01:00:07,770 I know where you live, Dorkus. 924 01:00:09,739 --> 01:00:11,206 Hey, lighten up. 925 01:00:11,374 --> 01:00:13,137 I don't really think you're a dorkus. 926 01:00:13,676 --> 01:00:14,608 I know you don't. 927 01:00:15,612 --> 01:00:18,514 Why is it you so often forget my superior intellect... 928 01:00:18,514 --> 01:00:21,751 and nascent ability to process your rudimentary attempts at sarcasm?-- 929 01:00:21,751 --> 01:00:24,515 Shut it! Before I purposely drive into a pole. 930 01:00:27,523 --> 01:00:29,013 So, um... 931 01:00:31,194 --> 01:00:32,923 ...when did you know you were... 932 01:00:34,664 --> 01:00:35,562 ...you know... 933 01:00:37,300 --> 01:00:38,562 A homosexual? 934 01:00:39,836 --> 01:00:42,327 I don't know. When did you know you were a breeder? 935 01:00:42,538 --> 01:00:44,768 Still not completely sure if I am. 936 01:00:45,274 --> 01:00:48,505 I've set for eighteen to twenty-three to be my 'experimental years.' 937 01:00:48,745 --> 01:00:49,769 I have a plan. 938 01:00:51,881 --> 01:00:52,779 Four. 939 01:00:54,484 --> 01:00:55,576 Four what? 940 01:00:56,352 --> 01:00:57,614 When I was four, 941 01:00:59,088 --> 01:01:02,421 my dear-departed mother took me to a production of The Nutcracker. 942 01:01:02,759 --> 01:01:06,490 It was colorful, and dramatic and the music was great. 943 01:01:06,996 --> 01:01:09,556 But just one thing held my attention above everything else: 944 01:01:11,300 --> 01:01:12,426 a dancer. 945 01:01:13,770 --> 01:01:14,702 Male. 946 01:01:15,672 --> 01:01:17,435 Shirtless through the entire play. 947 01:01:20,209 --> 01:01:22,370 I couldn't stop looking at him. 948 01:01:24,247 --> 01:01:27,341 Of course, I didn't really understand why then, but... 949 01:01:29,619 --> 01:01:30,779 I do now. 950 01:01:32,288 --> 01:01:33,721 Very touching, Marquis. 951 01:01:33,856 --> 01:01:35,721 Excuse me while I vomit. 952 01:01:38,661 --> 01:01:40,329 Look, I don't care if you're gay, 953 01:01:40,329 --> 01:01:42,365 but most people in school do. 954 01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:42,854 So... 955 01:01:44,867 --> 01:01:46,164 It's just... 956 01:01:46,836 --> 01:01:49,202 If that alone makes you such a huge target, 957 01:01:49,906 --> 01:01:53,364 why do you give 'em more ammo by acting and dressing the way you do? 958 01:01:55,311 --> 01:01:56,369 Well, 959 01:01:56,813 --> 01:02:00,149 if you have the choice between being ostracized for wearing a weird hat, 960 01:02:00,149 --> 01:02:00,911 or being gay... 961 01:02:02,251 --> 01:02:03,548 which one would you pick? 962 01:02:05,788 --> 01:02:06,948 Thanks for the ride home. 963 01:02:09,158 --> 01:02:10,785 And thanks for looking out for me. 964 01:02:29,145 --> 01:02:31,238 I loved your football pictures in the paper. 965 01:02:32,815 --> 01:02:33,873 You did? 966 01:02:37,220 --> 01:02:38,016 Thanks. 967 01:02:41,491 --> 01:02:42,788 Can I see? 968 01:02:43,459 --> 01:02:44,221 Umm... 969 01:02:48,664 --> 01:02:49,722 Sure. 970 01:02:52,068 --> 01:02:53,296 These are great. 971 01:02:53,836 --> 01:02:55,565 Who is this? Your sister? 972 01:02:56,305 --> 01:02:57,602 Not exactly. 973 01:03:03,179 --> 01:03:04,146 Is that... 974 01:03:05,815 --> 01:03:07,180 ...Chance? 975 01:03:10,219 --> 01:03:11,254 Yeah! 976 01:03:11,254 --> 01:03:16,859 We went to this club in the city and he performed with a bunch of other drag queens. 977 01:03:16,859 --> 01:03:18,383 It was great! 978 01:03:18,694 --> 01:03:20,252 He was awesome! 979 01:03:23,199 --> 01:03:25,497 Did you take these for the school paper? 980 01:03:27,203 --> 01:03:29,763 No. I'm just developing them for Chance. 981 01:03:30,339 --> 01:03:31,203 I mean... 982 01:03:31,707 --> 01:03:34,267 I don't think he really wants anyone to know... 983 01:03:34,410 --> 01:03:35,172 you know? 984 01:03:35,411 --> 01:03:36,105 Oh, 985 01:03:36,846 --> 01:03:37,972 sure, yeah. 986 01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:40,179 His secret's safe with me. 987 01:03:42,285 --> 01:03:44,913 Umm... Hey, do you have 988 01:03:44,987 --> 01:03:47,854 any high-gloss paper I could borrow? 989 01:03:48,157 --> 01:03:49,181 Sure... 990 01:03:50,092 --> 01:03:53,084 Oh, I left it in the classroom. 991 01:03:57,266 --> 01:03:58,233 I'll go get it. 992 01:04:14,517 --> 01:04:19,021 All I know is I didn't risk my life sneaking into Smelt-her's office 993 01:04:19,021 --> 01:04:21,455 to get information you're not even gonna use now! 994 01:04:21,791 --> 01:04:22,553 But... 995 01:04:22,658 --> 01:04:25,094 I continue to appreciate the creation of the plan 996 01:04:25,094 --> 01:04:26,925 and its stealth-like deployment. 997 01:04:29,832 --> 01:04:32,232 Yours is a leadership even my father would hold dear. 998 01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:35,364 But I hate to point out the fact that you didn't actually risk your life. 999 01:04:37,006 --> 01:04:39,304 Have you ever been in that office? 1000 01:04:39,842 --> 01:04:42,902 It took everything in me to avoid asphyxiation. 1001 01:04:45,414 --> 01:04:46,381 Point taken. 1002 01:04:47,383 --> 01:04:49,476 So you're just gonna let Brad keep beating on you? 1003 01:04:50,186 --> 01:04:51,346 UHH! Ahh! 1004 01:04:52,188 --> 01:04:54,223 Look, I've been in this situation before... 1005 01:04:54,223 --> 01:04:57,715 eventually Brad will get tired of me and move on to helpless freshmen. 1006 01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,092 Puppies. 1007 01:04:59,595 --> 01:05:00,663 And speaking frankly... 1008 01:05:00,663 --> 01:05:01,931 tattletale-ing is beneath me. 1009 01:05:01,931 --> 01:05:03,091 And you for that matter. 1010 01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:05,496 He's not going to move on, Chance. 1011 01:05:05,801 --> 01:05:07,003 I know his kind. 1012 01:05:07,003 --> 01:05:10,769 Brad is like a cat toying with a mouse before going in for the kill. 1013 01:05:14,777 --> 01:05:17,914 You act like none of this stuff bothers you, 1014 01:05:17,914 --> 01:05:19,142 like it's a nuisance. 1015 01:05:19,815 --> 01:05:21,417 You talk a good game. 1016 01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:25,717 It even made me think that you were strong...like everyone underestimates you. 1017 01:05:25,888 --> 01:05:28,157 But that's all it is: 1018 01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:29,146 talk. 1019 01:05:29,592 --> 01:05:31,116 You're a coward, Chance. 1020 01:05:31,994 --> 01:05:33,018 A mouse. 1021 01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:34,927 Brad's mouse. 1022 01:05:38,134 --> 01:05:39,533 Marquis, you're out! 1023 01:05:41,370 --> 01:05:42,530 Dear students, 1024 01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:46,208 do not forget your essays for next Monday. 1025 01:05:47,410 --> 01:05:51,506 You should write 500 words, not less, 1026 01:05:51,781 --> 01:05:54,750 and I have a very nice reading task for you: 1027 01:05:55,217 --> 01:05:58,015 you should read Act One of Macbeth, 1028 01:05:58,254 --> 01:06:01,417 one of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies. 1029 01:06:01,891 --> 01:06:04,587 There is also a reminder on the blackboard, 1030 01:06:04,894 --> 01:06:07,590 you do not use cliff notes, okay? 1031 01:06:08,731 --> 01:06:10,494 Time for literature now... 1032 01:06:11,734 --> 01:06:14,532 this book: The Count of Monte Cristo 1033 01:06:14,937 --> 01:06:19,237 written by Alexandre Dumas... 1034 01:06:19,642 --> 01:06:23,442 Oh man, Boy-George is so going to wish he never stepped foot in this school. 1035 01:06:40,229 --> 01:06:41,127 Hey Cadet,... 1036 01:06:42,231 --> 01:06:43,198 come on in here. 1037 01:06:45,101 --> 01:06:46,261 I thought we'd do this together. 1038 01:06:47,236 --> 01:06:48,225 Hai! 1039 01:07:10,526 --> 01:07:11,925 You gotta be tough, Chance. 1040 01:07:12,561 --> 01:07:14,153 It's the only way to survive in this life. 1041 01:07:14,730 --> 01:07:16,891 Did it ever occur to you that maybe I already am tough? 1042 01:07:17,133 --> 01:07:18,901 What? No, that's not what I meant- 1043 01:07:18,901 --> 01:07:19,595 I didn't think so. 1044 01:07:19,969 --> 01:07:21,070 But then again, why would you 1045 01:07:21,070 --> 01:07:24,106 when you've spent your entire adult life being trained to discern that 1046 01:07:24,106 --> 01:07:25,937 which is only directly in front of your face? 1047 01:07:26,409 --> 01:07:28,911 So when you look at me, all you see is everything you aren't. 1048 01:07:28,911 --> 01:07:30,079 And would never want to be. 1049 01:07:30,079 --> 01:07:31,341 You don't see strength... 1050 01:07:31,847 --> 01:07:34,483 just cowardice and, let's face it, a big fag! 1051 01:07:34,483 --> 01:07:35,618 So if you'll excuse me, 1052 01:07:35,618 --> 01:07:37,677 I have a field of daisies to go frolic through! 1053 01:07:38,521 --> 01:07:40,955 What did I tell you about using that word in this house! 1054 01:07:48,964 --> 01:07:52,331 Hey, my girlfriend needs some lipstick, can you help her out? 1055 01:09:30,099 --> 01:09:31,930 Someone must have swiped it. 1056 01:09:32,635 --> 01:09:34,069 Perceptive beyond belief. 1057 01:09:34,069 --> 01:09:35,137 It's impossible. 1058 01:09:35,137 --> 01:09:36,365 I was extra careful. 1059 01:09:36,472 --> 01:09:38,963 No one even saw them, except for... 1060 01:09:41,544 --> 01:09:42,511 Oh... 1061 01:09:43,746 --> 01:09:44,713 Oh... 1062 01:09:46,882 --> 01:09:48,782 Before you say anything, 1063 01:09:49,418 --> 01:09:51,613 just remember, she's very fetching. 1064 01:09:52,154 --> 01:09:54,190 And I'm a teenager in high school 1065 01:09:54,190 --> 01:09:55,589 who's not having sex. 1066 01:09:56,592 --> 01:09:59,254 You showed these to Toni Durazo?! 1067 01:10:00,930 --> 01:10:03,065 She's Brad's girlfriend... 1068 01:10:03,065 --> 01:10:04,600 you idiot! 1069 01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,761 What are you, sniffing on photo chemicals again?! 1070 01:10:09,638 --> 01:10:11,663 It's like a voodoo spell, I think... 1071 01:10:13,642 --> 01:10:15,044 Look on the positive side, 1072 01:10:15,044 --> 01:10:17,672 it's definitely one of my better shots. 1073 01:10:18,447 --> 01:10:19,505 Ow! 1074 01:10:22,318 --> 01:10:23,580 It'll blow over. 1075 01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:26,550 I don't know if you've noticed, but this is high school. 1076 01:10:26,922 --> 01:10:28,224 Things don't 'blow over'. 1077 01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:30,055 They stay with you forever... 1078 01:10:31,126 --> 01:10:32,491 like low self-esteem. 1079 01:10:35,064 --> 01:10:37,933 May I take this opportunity to mention that 1080 01:10:37,933 --> 01:10:41,369 an anonymous phone call is still very much an option. 1081 01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:44,273 The cat is no longer toying, 1082 01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:46,434 and its teeth are in the mouse's neck. 1083 01:10:46,875 --> 01:10:48,672 It's not how I fight my battles. 1084 01:10:53,415 --> 01:10:55,212 This isn't just going to go away.... 1085 01:11:08,130 --> 01:11:11,964 C'mon Marquis, English Lit rates at least a ballroom gown, Man. 1086 01:11:17,339 --> 01:11:20,706 So exactly how mad does your mom get when you steal her bras, huh? 1087 01:11:22,945 --> 01:11:24,546 ...Or her tits, for that matter. 1088 01:11:24,546 --> 01:11:25,843 Shut up! 1089 01:11:38,527 --> 01:11:40,995 You do this sort of thing often? 1090 01:11:42,665 --> 01:11:43,757 One time. 1091 01:11:45,034 --> 01:11:47,161 That's all it usually takes. 1092 01:11:49,438 --> 01:11:51,269 They can't handle this, you know... 1093 01:11:52,241 --> 01:11:53,572 The students here. 1094 01:11:54,410 --> 01:11:59,347 They tolerate the misfits among them, but if you rub their faces in it... 1095 01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:04,541 That's too much for the hormone-engorged teenager to deal with. 1096 01:12:07,423 --> 01:12:08,651 So now what? 1097 01:12:10,059 --> 01:12:12,653 You need to find a way for them to handle it. 1098 01:12:13,195 --> 01:12:14,396 Otherwise, 1099 01:12:14,396 --> 01:12:17,229 I don't really see a future for you here at Brickland. 1100 01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:22,527 This will excuse you for the rest of the week. 1101 01:12:26,475 --> 01:12:29,000 Use the time to think. 1102 01:12:31,580 --> 01:12:33,377 We'll have the flyers removed. 1103 01:12:41,423 --> 01:12:42,651 Where's your brother? 1104 01:12:42,791 --> 01:12:44,520 Said he's not feeling well. 1105 01:12:56,405 --> 01:12:57,303 Hi. 1106 01:12:57,439 --> 01:12:59,373 Is, uh, Chance around? 1107 01:12:59,641 --> 01:13:00,608 Who are you? 1108 01:13:00,809 --> 01:13:02,538 He's Chance's ex-friend from next door. 1109 01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:04,543 He has his own band. 1110 01:13:05,647 --> 01:13:06,671 Chance is upstairs. 1111 01:13:21,096 --> 01:13:22,654 Here to revel in Brad's victory? 1112 01:13:23,665 --> 01:13:24,996 Kind of a tough day, huh? 1113 01:13:26,502 --> 01:13:28,103 Why? Were you tarred and feathered, too? 1114 01:13:28,103 --> 01:13:29,195 I hadn't noticed. 1115 01:13:30,973 --> 01:13:31,962 Look, 1116 01:13:32,608 --> 01:13:35,008 I'm the first to admit Brad crossed a line. 1117 01:13:36,445 --> 01:13:37,878 What he did was... 1118 01:13:39,181 --> 01:13:41,012 ...was expose me for who I really am? 1119 01:13:42,551 --> 01:13:43,950 Maybe I should be thanking him. 1120 01:13:44,820 --> 01:13:45,854 This might surprise you, Levi, 1121 01:13:45,854 --> 01:13:47,788 but I'm not embarassed about what happened. 1122 01:13:48,791 --> 01:13:49,917 If you say so. 1123 01:13:50,926 --> 01:13:54,862 It just sort of looked that way when you were ripping that flyer off the wall. 1124 01:13:56,165 --> 01:13:58,963 So now everyone thinks I'm ashamed of the fact that I dressed in drag. 1125 01:14:00,602 --> 01:14:02,365 Like it was some horrible secret. 1126 01:14:03,272 --> 01:14:06,041 When the truth is, the guy who goes to school every day... 1127 01:14:06,041 --> 01:14:07,372 he's the lie. 1128 01:14:09,511 --> 01:14:12,378 Why do I let it be okay for people to think less of me? 1129 01:14:14,183 --> 01:14:17,675 ...for my friends just to decide they no longer wanna be my friends. 1130 01:14:21,557 --> 01:14:23,855 Man, I take all of it.. 1131 01:14:24,693 --> 01:14:26,923 and I try to rise above it. 1132 01:14:28,697 --> 01:14:31,689 But I don't think you're supposed to do that in high school. 1133 01:14:32,267 --> 01:14:34,997 Nothing heroic ever came of 'rising above it.' 1134 01:14:38,340 --> 01:14:39,830 Hey! What do you write in that? 1135 01:14:40,909 --> 01:14:42,774 My brilliant and insightful thoughts. 1136 01:14:45,681 --> 01:14:47,979 And some poems, song lyrics... 1137 01:14:48,550 --> 01:14:49,485 Lyrics? 1138 01:14:49,485 --> 01:14:50,543 You write songs? 1139 01:14:53,055 --> 01:14:54,044 What? 1140 01:14:54,356 --> 01:14:55,983 C'mon. Suddenly you're shy? 1141 01:14:56,291 --> 01:14:58,260 I thought they were brilliant and insightful. 1142 01:14:58,260 --> 01:14:59,227 They are. 1143 01:14:59,461 --> 01:15:01,156 And potentially highly embarrassing. 1144 01:15:06,101 --> 01:15:07,534 Hey, you know what? 1145 01:15:07,769 --> 01:15:09,396 Why don't we write a song. 1146 01:15:10,005 --> 01:15:12,030 I'll do the music, you write the lyrics. 1147 01:15:13,275 --> 01:15:14,264 Okay. 1148 01:15:18,380 --> 01:15:21,213 I thought your father banned music from your heart. 1149 01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:23,815 Oh yeah, that. 1150 01:15:25,354 --> 01:15:29,017 Well, like you said, I have to stand up to him someday. 1151 01:15:30,158 --> 01:15:33,821 So...Screw Lawrence and his scholarships. 1152 01:15:36,698 --> 01:15:39,223 So... Are we cool? 1153 01:15:51,313 --> 01:15:52,337 Chance?! 1154 01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:02,982 Is your brother really sick? 1155 01:16:04,726 --> 01:16:06,216 Okay, what's the deal? 1156 01:16:06,762 --> 01:16:08,096 Apparently his entire school 1157 01:16:08,096 --> 01:16:10,587 found out he dressed up in drag and performed at a club. 1158 01:16:11,133 --> 01:16:12,100 What?! 1159 01:16:12,668 --> 01:16:14,761 Then they put his picture on a bunch of flyers 1160 01:16:15,170 --> 01:16:19,197 labelling him an embarrassment to all that is held holy in the high school male. 1161 01:16:21,777 --> 01:16:24,075 Why can't you kids have normal problems? 1162 01:16:24,446 --> 01:16:25,538 Like acne. 1163 01:16:27,482 --> 01:16:28,574 Time for school. 1164 01:16:35,924 --> 01:16:37,824 Well, he's not at the loser-table... 1165 01:16:38,827 --> 01:16:40,192 ...he wasn't in Lit... 1166 01:16:41,597 --> 01:16:44,430 Looks like 'Operation: Get-Rid-Of-Fag' worked. 1167 01:16:46,635 --> 01:16:47,863 Stop calling him that. 1168 01:16:49,638 --> 01:16:51,037 What'd you say Sparks? 1169 01:16:51,673 --> 01:16:53,402 This wasn't cool. 1170 01:16:53,709 --> 01:16:56,439 If he wants to dress up like a girl, that's his business. 1171 01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:02,046 How'd you like it if everyone knew you fooled around with Kenny Ellis in sixth grade? 1172 01:17:05,420 --> 01:17:06,888 So tell me Sparks, 1173 01:17:06,888 --> 01:17:08,913 when exactly did you grow a pair, huh? 1174 01:17:09,658 --> 01:17:11,956 When I figured out you don't really have friends. 1175 01:17:12,861 --> 01:17:15,227 Just subjects who live in fear of you. 1176 01:17:17,699 --> 01:17:19,291 You don't want to do this, Man. 1177 01:17:19,768 --> 01:17:20,792 Trust me, 1178 01:17:21,069 --> 01:17:22,969 you don't want to go there with me. 1179 01:17:23,639 --> 01:17:26,233 You know what, Brad? I feel sorry for you. 1180 01:17:27,209 --> 01:17:29,439 Because right here, right now... 1181 01:17:30,045 --> 01:17:32,445 is the best it'll ever be for you. 1182 01:17:32,814 --> 01:17:34,839 Well, you never were too bright. 1183 01:17:40,722 --> 01:17:42,280 Take your best shot. 1184 01:17:50,098 --> 01:17:51,156 Brad! 1185 01:17:52,734 --> 01:17:53,962 Are you okay? 1186 01:17:55,570 --> 01:17:57,094 Oh my God, you're like... bleeding. 1187 01:17:59,141 --> 01:18:02,167 Yeah, that's what I thought would happen. 1188 01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:12,581 Are you looking for something? 1189 01:18:13,388 --> 01:18:14,719 Inspiration. 1190 01:18:26,068 --> 01:18:29,663 You know, Chance, there's a link between inspiration and perspiration. 1191 01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:33,405 What you need is focus. 1192 01:18:35,177 --> 01:18:37,546 How about I send you back Stateside. 1193 01:18:37,546 --> 01:18:39,614 I found a military academy in the Midwest-- 1194 01:18:39,614 --> 01:18:40,876 Please... 1195 01:18:41,283 --> 01:18:42,545 Just stop. 1196 01:18:43,852 --> 01:18:47,379 I'm never gonna understand you the way your mother did, I know that. 1197 01:18:47,522 --> 01:18:49,251 Well, I don't need you to. 1198 01:18:49,491 --> 01:18:50,822 Then, what do you need? 1199 01:18:51,660 --> 01:18:54,823 For you to stop running this house like a military operation. 1200 01:18:56,431 --> 01:18:58,194 We're not a team, we're a family. 1201 01:18:59,434 --> 01:19:03,165 Sienna and I, we're not your soldiers or cadets. 1202 01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:05,870 We're your kids. 1203 01:19:06,241 --> 01:19:09,678 No kid I know enjoys discipline. I'm not gonna apologize for that. 1204 01:19:09,678 --> 01:19:11,270 I'm not talking about discipline. 1205 01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,044 I don't mind rules. 1206 01:19:13,682 --> 01:19:15,274 But you need to let me be who I'm gonna be. 1207 01:19:15,650 --> 01:19:17,015 I think I do. 1208 01:19:17,452 --> 01:19:21,388 Except every time you look at me, all I see is you wishing I were someone else. 1209 01:19:21,823 --> 01:19:23,154 Anyone else. 1210 01:19:24,459 --> 01:19:26,427 Nothing about me makes you proud. 1211 01:19:28,296 --> 01:19:29,695 How do you know that? 1212 01:19:31,366 --> 01:19:35,132 Because every time you look at Sienna, I see exactly what that pride looks like. 1213 01:19:39,875 --> 01:19:41,934 Put this stuff away when you're done. 1214 01:20:19,714 --> 01:20:20,703 What?! 1215 01:20:21,349 --> 01:20:23,180 Have you talked to Chance?... 1216 01:20:23,518 --> 01:20:25,287 'cause he won't return our calls. 1217 01:20:25,287 --> 01:20:28,222 Yeah, we've gotta make sure he didn't kill himself. 1218 01:20:30,492 --> 01:20:32,221 You're a photographer, right? 1219 01:20:32,594 --> 01:20:34,027 What gave it away? 1220 01:20:34,830 --> 01:20:36,127 Who are you? 1221 01:20:37,999 --> 01:20:39,864 We're scared of her. 1222 01:20:43,371 --> 01:20:45,339 Meet me here, after school today. 1223 01:20:46,007 --> 01:20:47,269 And bring that. 1224 01:20:49,644 --> 01:20:51,612 Can we stop following him now? 1225 01:20:52,247 --> 01:20:53,771 Okay, c'mon. 1226 01:21:12,133 --> 01:21:13,122 Hey guys! 1227 01:21:13,368 --> 01:21:14,536 What's this? 1228 01:21:14,536 --> 01:21:15,594 New band: 1229 01:21:15,804 --> 01:21:17,032 'Dramatic Pause.' 1230 01:21:17,472 --> 01:21:19,074 Chance is our lead singer. 1231 01:21:19,074 --> 01:21:20,507 Wow! That's neat. 1232 01:21:21,076 --> 01:21:23,135 We need some band photos - for flyers and stuff. 1233 01:21:23,278 --> 01:21:24,212 Can you do it? 1234 01:21:24,212 --> 01:21:26,180 Yeah, sure I can. 1235 01:21:27,782 --> 01:21:29,818 We're competing at the battle of the bands 1236 01:21:29,818 --> 01:21:30,785 and we require a manager. 1237 01:21:31,353 --> 01:21:32,479 Interested? 1238 01:21:32,587 --> 01:21:33,622 Manager? 1239 01:21:33,622 --> 01:21:36,022 You're a high-school band doing Toto covers... 1240 01:21:36,224 --> 01:21:37,292 badly. 1241 01:21:37,292 --> 01:21:39,852 What you really need is to be put out of your misery. 1242 01:21:47,202 --> 01:21:48,464 I'm in. 1243 01:21:48,970 --> 01:21:50,164 Cool. 1244 01:22:40,789 --> 01:22:41,790 Whoa... 1245 01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:44,350 This is a whole lot of people! 1246 01:22:46,828 --> 01:22:51,197 Hey! Listen, I arranged for some insurance to make sure Dramatic Pause stands out. 1247 01:22:51,533 --> 01:22:52,801 You bought off the judges?! 1248 01:22:52,801 --> 01:22:53,768 Even better- 1249 01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:56,597 You... killed the judges? 1250 01:22:56,838 --> 01:22:59,398 Will you just shut up and listen?! 1251 01:23:17,892 --> 01:23:19,052 Where's Chance? 1252 01:23:19,861 --> 01:23:20,953 With you... 1253 01:23:21,963 --> 01:23:23,260 Weren't you picking him up? 1254 01:23:26,634 --> 01:23:29,797 So, what are we supposed to do if Chance doesn't show? 1255 01:23:34,709 --> 01:23:35,767 Hi, Lawrence. 1256 01:23:36,177 --> 01:23:37,872 Do you know about that? 1257 01:23:40,248 --> 01:23:41,616 When did this happen? 1258 01:23:41,616 --> 01:23:43,743 It's been brewing for the past two weeks, or so. 1259 01:23:44,252 --> 01:23:46,186 Levi and Chance wrote a song together. 1260 01:23:47,122 --> 01:23:48,180 Is it any good? 1261 01:23:48,757 --> 01:23:49,958 I haven't heard it yet. 1262 01:23:49,958 --> 01:23:52,327 Look, Levi's grounded, and now he's gone. 1263 01:23:52,327 --> 01:23:54,659 And I'm willing to bet your son has got something to do with that. 1264 01:23:55,263 --> 01:23:56,765 I wanna talk to him right now- 1265 01:23:56,765 --> 01:23:58,232 Chance isn't here. 1266 01:23:59,067 --> 01:24:00,591 His band goes on at five. 1267 01:24:00,835 --> 01:24:01,859 Can we go? 1268 01:24:04,773 --> 01:24:05,865 Get your coat. 1269 01:24:06,341 --> 01:24:08,138 But wait, I have to get changed first. 1270 01:24:12,147 --> 01:24:16,277 You know what someone should really invent? Portable phones. 1271 01:24:18,153 --> 01:24:20,455 C'mon, let's go and see if we can find him. 1272 01:24:20,455 --> 01:24:22,787 You go over there and you check back there, okay? 1273 01:24:32,967 --> 01:24:33,934 Chance! 1274 01:24:34,569 --> 01:24:35,729 You guys, go look up there. 1275 01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:37,602 Chance?! 1276 01:24:46,815 --> 01:24:49,545 Maybe it's better if we split up. 1277 01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:00,254 Chance! 1278 01:25:00,495 --> 01:25:01,362 Where were you? 1279 01:25:01,362 --> 01:25:02,829 We were starting to think you bailed. 1280 01:25:03,431 --> 01:25:04,466 Oh look, 1281 01:25:04,466 --> 01:25:05,834 it's the Flock-of-Faggots. 1282 01:25:05,834 --> 01:25:07,631 What are you playing, 'Disco Up The Ass'? 1283 01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:11,902 Have you seen Levi anywhere? 1284 01:25:12,140 --> 01:25:13,402 I don't see either of them. 1285 01:25:18,780 --> 01:25:20,680 Is that Chance over there? 1286 01:25:46,908 --> 01:25:49,502 Look at them, they're spectacular! 1287 01:25:58,820 --> 01:26:00,421 What are you doing up here? 1288 01:26:00,421 --> 01:26:02,048 Nice introduction, your idea? 1289 01:26:03,758 --> 01:26:04,952 I can't go on... 1290 01:26:05,326 --> 01:26:06,227 Why? 1291 01:26:06,227 --> 01:26:06,989 What's wrong? 1292 01:26:07,795 --> 01:26:09,763 Stage fright is my best guess. 1293 01:26:10,265 --> 01:26:12,062 Or maybe an intestinal parasite. 1294 01:26:12,567 --> 01:26:13,727 Ladies... 1295 01:26:16,070 --> 01:26:18,538 Okay, you hormonal mess of a crowd, 1296 01:26:18,773 --> 01:26:20,673 are you ready for the next band?! 1297 01:26:25,413 --> 01:26:27,506 Please welcome my Rockettes! 1298 01:26:29,617 --> 01:26:31,585 What the hell is that?! 1299 01:26:32,187 --> 01:26:33,654 A chorus line, duh! 1300 01:26:34,022 --> 01:26:35,546 Aren't they fabulous? 1301 01:26:36,224 --> 01:26:38,749 I said, aren't they FABULOUS! 1302 01:26:44,065 --> 01:26:45,433 Listen to me. 1303 01:26:45,433 --> 01:26:48,002 If singing in a dress and high-heels in front of two-hundred drunks 1304 01:26:48,002 --> 01:26:51,460 isn't going to prepare you for this, then nothing ever will. 1305 01:26:51,706 --> 01:26:52,707 This is cake! 1306 01:26:52,707 --> 01:26:54,174 You don't understand... 1307 01:26:54,809 --> 01:26:56,834 pretending to be someone else is easy. 1308 01:26:57,278 --> 01:26:59,647 It's an act...dress-up. 1309 01:26:59,647 --> 01:27:01,216 I can hide behind top hats-- 1310 01:27:01,216 --> 01:27:03,047 I thought you were done hiding. 1311 01:27:03,618 --> 01:27:05,643 Don't you want them to see the real Chance? 1312 01:27:06,921 --> 01:27:08,752 Just go out there and sing. 1313 01:27:09,390 --> 01:27:10,357 Great advice. 1314 01:27:10,558 --> 01:27:12,994 And besides, if they start throwing anything, 1315 01:27:12,994 --> 01:27:15,394 it'll be at Levi and his lousy guitar playing. 1316 01:27:18,266 --> 01:27:19,824 Just stand up to all of 'em. 1317 01:27:20,335 --> 01:27:21,632 Now's your chance. 1318 01:27:22,370 --> 01:27:23,701 Stand up. 1319 01:27:27,008 --> 01:27:30,545 So, I want you all to put your hands together for the next band. 1320 01:27:30,545 --> 01:27:33,414 It's led by a close, personal friend of mine. 1321 01:27:33,414 --> 01:27:35,350 And honeys, if you like good music, 1322 01:27:35,350 --> 01:27:38,046 you can turn on the radio after the concert. 1323 01:27:39,187 --> 01:27:43,214 In the meantime, here they are... in all their Oxy-cream glory: 1324 01:27:43,791 --> 01:27:45,725 The Dramatic Pause! 1325 01:28:16,090 --> 01:28:19,661 I live in a different world 1326 01:28:19,661 --> 01:28:23,188 See things my own way 1327 01:28:23,898 --> 01:28:27,425 Got no shame for what I do 1328 01:28:27,835 --> 01:28:30,895 What else should I say 1329 01:28:31,773 --> 01:28:34,674 Who do we become 1330 01:28:35,910 --> 01:28:38,811 Add up all the sums 1331 01:28:39,781 --> 01:28:43,046 Part of me will be okay 1332 01:28:43,518 --> 01:28:46,510 The rest will be undone 1333 01:28:47,121 --> 01:28:49,324 Stand Up for all of your dreams 1334 01:28:49,324 --> 01:28:51,426 Leave the ones that have been 1335 01:28:51,426 --> 01:28:53,428 See how far we have come 1336 01:28:53,428 --> 01:28:55,563 Never have to succumb 1337 01:28:55,563 --> 01:28:57,765 Take your friends by your side 1338 01:28:57,765 --> 01:28:59,600 And just go for that ride 1339 01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:02,070 Don't worry who you are 1340 01:29:02,070 --> 01:29:04,402 Stand Up and you'll go far 1341 01:29:06,107 --> 01:29:08,905 Stand Up and you'll go far 1342 01:29:11,713 --> 01:29:14,978 Some people have all the luck 1343 01:29:15,750 --> 01:29:18,184 Born with looks and a buck 1344 01:29:19,587 --> 01:29:22,954 And then there is the rest of us 1345 01:29:23,458 --> 01:29:26,518 The strange and messed up 1346 01:29:27,662 --> 01:29:30,392 You think you are one 1347 01:29:31,265 --> 01:29:34,325 Boy you sure are dumb 1348 01:29:35,470 --> 01:29:38,906 Look at us and then decide 1349 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:42,341 Who is Jekyll, who is Hyde? 1350 01:29:42,643 --> 01:29:45,012 Stand Up for all of your dreams 1351 01:29:45,012 --> 01:29:46,948 Leave the ones that have been 1352 01:29:46,948 --> 01:29:49,050 See how far you can go 1353 01:29:49,050 --> 01:29:50,779 Then get ready to blow-- 1354 01:29:50,985 --> 01:29:52,577 Mr. Harden! 1355 01:29:53,721 --> 01:29:55,712 I want a word with you. 1356 01:30:01,062 --> 01:30:03,087 Care to explain?! 1357 01:30:08,169 --> 01:30:10,438 Stand Up for all of your dreams 1358 01:30:10,438 --> 01:30:12,473 Leave the ones that have been 1359 01:30:12,473 --> 01:30:14,409 See how far you can go 1360 01:30:14,409 --> 01:30:16,677 Then get ready to blow 1361 01:30:16,677 --> 01:30:18,513 Take the low-times in stride 1362 01:30:18,513 --> 01:30:20,548 Bring the high-times inside 1363 01:30:20,548 --> 01:30:23,217 Don't worry who you are 1364 01:30:23,217 --> 01:30:25,447 Stand Up and you'll go far 1365 01:30:26,954 --> 01:30:30,151 Stand Up and you'll go far 1366 01:30:30,992 --> 01:30:33,460 Stand Up and you'll go far 1367 01:30:34,962 --> 01:30:38,125 Stand Up and you'll go far 1368 01:30:39,000 --> 01:30:41,332 Stand Up and you'll go far 1369 01:30:42,937 --> 01:30:46,031 Stand Up and you'll go far 1370 01:31:18,039 --> 01:31:19,973 Why didn't you tell me you had a band? 1371 01:31:20,641 --> 01:31:22,905 I didn't think you were ready for another singer in the family. 1372 01:31:25,413 --> 01:31:29,179 Well, maybe you should let me decide what I may or may not be ready for. 1373 01:31:30,718 --> 01:31:32,811 But thanks for looking out for me. 1374 01:31:35,289 --> 01:31:36,551 I got your back. 1375 01:31:37,959 --> 01:31:40,257 I'm sorry, I haven't always had yours. 1376 01:31:42,363 --> 01:31:44,092 You were great out there today, Son. 1377 01:31:46,734 --> 01:31:48,793 You know, they have bands in the Army... 1378 01:31:51,906 --> 01:31:52,964 Think about it. 1379 01:31:53,107 --> 01:31:54,131 Go. 1380 01:32:02,950 --> 01:32:04,218 Expelled? 1381 01:32:04,218 --> 01:32:06,277 As in, total expulsion? 1382 01:32:07,255 --> 01:32:10,858 And the best part is, the idiot practically tumed himself in. 1383 01:32:10,858 --> 01:32:14,195 He started raging at a practice while Smelt-her was watching... 1384 01:32:14,195 --> 01:32:16,163 so, she got suspicious. 1385 01:32:16,163 --> 01:32:17,562 Hey, Twyla... 1386 01:32:19,934 --> 01:32:22,770 Oh hey, don't forget about the gig I booked you on Saturday night. 1387 01:32:22,770 --> 01:32:24,338 My cousin Claudia's wedding. 1388 01:32:24,338 --> 01:32:27,501 So start boning up on your Barry Manilow. 1389 01:32:31,345 --> 01:32:33,575 Hey, I got concert photos for you. 1390 01:32:33,648 --> 01:32:34,672 Oh good! 1391 01:32:38,686 --> 01:32:39,948 Thank you. 1392 01:32:45,159 --> 01:32:46,524 Anything else? 1393 01:32:47,762 --> 01:32:49,730 You want to know what's inside? 1394 01:32:50,064 --> 01:32:51,258 Of course. 1395 01:32:51,599 --> 01:32:52,633 But you can't tell me. 1396 01:32:52,633 --> 01:32:53,634 To wit, Hank: 1397 01:32:53,634 --> 01:32:56,228 should I become privy, and Smelker finds out... 1398 01:32:56,604 --> 01:32:59,835 and finds some way to circumvent standard administrative protocol 1399 01:33:00,007 --> 01:33:03,966 and torture me to the point where I have no choice but to reveal what I know. 1400 01:33:05,379 --> 01:33:06,539 Torture... 1401 01:33:07,248 --> 01:33:08,476 Torture. 1402 01:33:09,984 --> 01:33:11,349 Good point. 1403 01:33:17,224 --> 01:33:19,249 I know you wanted to know... 1404 01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:22,955 but I think my well-being supersedes your low-minded curiosity in this case. 1405 01:34:05,072 --> 01:34:08,838 I know what you're thinking: another 'Chance-Fantasy-Sequence.' 1406 01:34:09,243 --> 01:34:11,143 Maybe...maybe not. 1407 01:34:11,445 --> 01:34:13,504 But, let's be clear about one thing, 1408 01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:15,809 this is my version of the story... 1409 01:34:26,727 --> 01:34:28,854 I told you, you were in for some perspective... 1410 01:34:29,730 --> 01:34:30,698 No doubt about it... 1411 01:34:30,698 --> 01:34:33,633 high school's mostly irritating and an abomination. 1412 01:34:33,768 --> 01:34:35,861 But, you make the best of it...