Captioning is possible by Warner Bros.
[Camera takes pictures]
When Martin Samuels decided to make a documentary about a Scottish artist,
You have to ask yourself,
"Who is this guy?
What's the fuss?"
Well, that person is me.
I am Crawford MacKenzie.
I am a hairdresser.
[Camera takes pictures]
"Dear Mr. MacKenzie,
" executive committee
"international world federation hairdressing
" very happy to tell you
"You already like that selected to participate
" on platinum this year scissor competition
"in Los Angeles.
" For those invited... " Blah, Dee, blah, blah.
" On a personal note,
"I'm looking forward to seeing you
" after your arrival in the United States.
"Sincerely, Monique geingold,
president, w.H.I.F." This is w.H.I.F.
* lollipop my child *
* You make my heart go giddyap *
You are as sweet as like candy *
* You like sugar *
* whoa, my child is Lollipop *
* never, ever left me *
* because it will mourn me *
my heart says so *
nice to see you. Hi.
Basically, this is where I work.
This is what I did all day.
Margaret, You look fantastic You're like a big, scary stranger with your hat -
retired from space.
* But I don't want you to know *
this is a display I've worked.
I call it New Zealand -
all black, you see?
[Cameraoh. taking pictures]
Margaret?
This is a funny thing about that woman
He comes here every week.
You get a permanent in his head,
and then he goes to the bathroom
for half an hour.
Samuels: how can you come? Do you have this nickname?
Alright,
they call me red hair,
because if there is an problem,
I'm the one they call
It's not clear, it's a different area
expertise from the other is red.
I mean, I will never use it explosives
to get the style I want to.
I mean, this is hairdressing
There's a limit right?
Samuels: what does it feel like, then? Someone who knows -
a hairdresser who was born growing in a working class district
in Glasgow?
What does it feel like?
Come on look around a little more.
This, um--
Samuels: I don't want I ask about--
we will talk about that later.
Um, so, um...
[Camera takes pictures]
I want to cut it short, I want curls above,
and I want to color it red
It's rare to do a full bluebell,
but it's hard a very decent case
She's not enough to be herself since the accident in the bakery
This will look pretty.
You go to look amazing
There.
Ta-da.
Oh, Crawford,
you're a genius.
[Sighs] I know.
[Camera takes pictures]
You cannot dominate the suburbs of Glasgow
for 5 years
and then don't get asked to L.A.
Do you know? I mean...
They will come.
WELCOME to my wee office,
or like me sometimes call it,
my galleria del trophio
And here we are,
the grand fromage--
Sean Connery.
Which one Sean Connery?
In the middle there.
[Mimicking Sean connery] Actually it's been said
it's Sean Connery I can't be distinguished
from the real thing with your eyes closed,
Mr. goldfinger
After all, it's a glory day in gleneagles,
besides Sean a little disaster calamity.
Fortunately, I can to enter and help.
Unfortunately, you know, wisdom forbids.
Right.
Which one is this? Who is this?
This is the ludwigssen stig,
winner platinum scissors
for the past 3 years.
You can't go higher in the hair hierarchy.
Of course, stig ludwigssen's salon
it's on L.A., where hair can make you or destroy you How do you feel about him? selected
to compete biggest hairdresser
In the world?
I think this is really beautiful
So there's a little genius even when he--
Oh yeah.
What channel is this for, friend?
Uh, this is the document for tele English--
what channel is that?
This is a documentary film for English television
If you only, like, can Stand there, sir.
We only shot in this direction here,
and it was very difficult for me to concentrate -
I think you should go and ride the sweater.
Hey, this is my garden You always get tired of me, By the way.
What is she like? as a child?
Very, very smart.
I call mensa about him.
Mensa?
Yes.
And they suggested I got it chess set.
And what you think happened
in the afternoon I took it home
I don't know He brought the little ones
and their dresses in his hula skirt.
Oh.
And it's done larger amount
from South Pacific
* Bali ha'i *
second: * Your special island *
* come to me *
let me ask you about gareth
Yes. is he a good child, is not it?
[The camera takes pictures]
[Music playing]
Oh!
Ooh!
This is a documentary, yes.
Come here.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much, airdrie Thank you.
Waves.
Very good, very good.
Oh, look, I understand in a sticky mess Yes. It is okay. I'm okay.
We all are very proud.
I have it biggest fan
What? he has an underwater camera.
He is under water -
he is very talented and sexy.
He's a very good person.
Yes. is not he, boy?
[Boys agree]
what I will tell you I will sleep with him.
You know he's gay, right?
No, he isnae.
If they want it in California,
that's probably the best
He will be among them the like out there.
Waters with sharks.
Crawford, don't go to Hollywood
Close your face [Camera takes pictures]
Crawford: I'm very settled in Scotland.
I have my cat, my mother,
my friend Gareth
And these people are the reason
it's me riding that plane
Bless them You know, this is something I have to do--
not for me,
but for Scotland
[Camera takes pictures]
I'm sorry.
That's beautiful, mother. Thank you.
Is the size right?
Hey, hey, hey, yankee doodle is cool.
Shut up. Shut up.
And the stars.
And with stars and lines - it's beautiful
Oh, son,
This is a wee bit wee for you.
I have to knit you the other one.
Don't you dare to knit one more.
It's okay. It's beautiful I like it.
Try listening. What?
Bring your Billy doll
This will take you Thank you.
No you need luck
Oh, shut up.
[Both speak original]
I'm sorry.
As they say in llandow,
both: ciao for now
[Both speak original]
Come on.
Alright.
See you later
Goodbye goodbye
See you later
Goodbye goodbye
See you later
Are you tired?
Yes...
But it's international kind of tired,
if you know what I mean.
Oh yeah.
Crawford: I can't believe it.
I mean, meet him there, at the airport,
That's like a sign.
Not a sign, of course,
but it's just as scary in a different way.
God. Oh, my God.
This is the stig.
Stig, hi! Stig!
Hi! Hi!
Coo, coo, coo.
Hey, hi. Hey, hi.
Hey. excuse me. Excuse me, miss.
Do you work for stig?
Being busy.
Charming.
Who is that?
Stig ludwigssen Cheerio.
He must be defeated.
[Camera takes pictures]
Humans at P.A .: White zone
is for immediate loading and unloading from passengers only
Man: hey, you know You have to let go.
I got it. Yes, yes, yes yes yes
Hey, do you want to go up?
No thanks. We will take a taxi
No, forget those people, man. They will mess you up.
You know, they don't even speak English.
They will get you lost. I got it.
I understand, man.
That's my stretch there.
What are you
My Limo My Limo Stretch. classy, Do you know what I mean?
For God's sake, take a taxi
Go and get the trolley. How many?
200 dollars Not possible.
Where are you from?
Scotland.
75. 75 dollars 50.
Alright. Well.
Driver: Welcome, gentlemen Welcome to Los Angeles, baby. OK.
This is big, isn't it?
Oh, look at that - Marina del Rey.
I know a queen once dragged called Marina del Rey.
She's not from here, though
He is from Wolverhampton.
He's a great dancer -
Donkey fat, though.
What kind of film do you make?
This is fly-on-the-wall documentary.
Do you want an idea for a film?
I only make documentaries
5 words -
hasidic teenagers
basketball rebels expire
Do you know what I mean?
This is a slam dunk, man.
Big down info -
"If you lose, you will do it become our slave."
They already have Michael Jordan
3:00 in the morning, my pager left.
Beeps. I like, "here."
Do you know? "Who needs what?"
Back in the eighties,
I'm a little rock and roll outfit
* Miss' my lady *
[imitating guitar solos]
On the road.
This is some kind of street song.
Samuels: I usually stay at the age of the bell,
but this should be to be very good
Hi, I'm Ronnie. WELCOME to Century Plaza hotel.
Hi, Ronnie.
Thank you.
Hey bro. Hey,
this is my head shot
Just call me, You know, anytime,
and there are 818 pager numbers on the back
This might happen to change, but...
If you need a car, girl,
You know, schooner, whatever. Call me.
Alright.
OK? I'm serious, man
My phone.
You never know.
That's for you. Thank you.
We have you in a large suite,
but your preference is group level,
it gives you the right to for an executive upgrade
Oh. Super duper.
[laughs]
Where is your accent?
I'm from Glasgow.
Oh, I like the Beatles.
[laughs]
I only need credit card now, sir
Good.
Here. Thank you.
Crawford: how many did you tip them
Samuels: usually, you take tax and multiply it.
What tax
Just give him $ 5.00.
God.
Upgrade
There is electric curtains
Samuels: It's very good.
This is fantastic.
God.
Ronnie,
That's for you. Thank you very much.
Look at that, Martin. This is fantastic.
This is fantastic Four-bedded bed. My God, I always want it.
You like this, no?
I like it. Do you know what?
I was born for this.
No, mother, This is the Clinton suite.
[Music playing]
There is no president Clinton.
Well, why? a Los Angeles hotel above
name a suite afterwards b.B. Clinton from rangers?
I'm here now.
I wear a blue shirt
and my tartan pants--
the is very strict
I don't need to worry who paid for it
W.h.i.f. pay for it
No bottle opener No problem.
Hello, room service?
Can you send Ronnie with corkscrew?
When the cat leaves,
Great Scotland hair comb
will play.
* all the leaves are brown *
* and the sky is gray *
* I've traveled *
* on winter days *
* I will be safe and warm *
* if I am on L.A. *
[crack]
Aah!
aah
Let's take the other one, okay?
I think the others - aah
Crawford: is spectacular, isn't it?
I mean,
When you see at all lights that flicker,
and you realize that every one of them
has a story...
There are people out there
live, dying,
laugh,
making love,
their hair is finished
This is only deep.
* all trees are brown *
all trees are brown *
* and the sky is gray *
* sky is gray *
* California-- *
* - California dreams *
* on a winter day like that *
* I will be safe and-- *
I will be safe and warm *
* if I am on L.A. *
[camera takes pictures]
Samuels: is the camera rolling?
[Yawns]
Good evening, tutoring Samuels: um, can we just do it curtain again, please?
No. I am going to sleep. There he is.
Cut, Seamus.
[Camera takes pictures]
Samuels: so, is this how you usually prepare
for a competition?
Well, I won't sit outside by the pool in Scotland,
but very similar
You know, I like to calm myself down and focus and relax.
So it's not like that violinist,
where do you practice, practice, practice?
No, it's about calmness and focus and calm.
Mr. MacKenzie.
Yes?
I am a cactus Dunstan, hotel manager
You don't need me on that
Hi, mother Ha ha ha!
I only want to tell you, sir,
if there is something the hotel is not according to your wishes,
You contact me directly, Alright?
We will sit in my office and talk to everyone
anytime or night.
I insist
Large. Thank you.
Enjoy your stay
Good. Thank you very much.
Ha ha ha!
I know what-- let's do it now
Always included in my schedule for honored guests.
What are you saying? I insist
Good.
All right, sir OK good.
Alright.
Seamus: survives, survives
Oh, excuse me. Ha ha ha ha!
We have a lot of cameras in the previous hotel
I don't think there is enough light here
Seamus: camera cable
stuck on the damn door
Wait a minute!
[Ticking object]
All right, sir Enter.
Please sit down.
Thank you. ha ha!
Do you have your passport?
Ah, of course Yes.
Oh, look? I know it. That's what I am -
because of the accent...
Oh yes, yes.
This is Scottish-English passport.
You know, I always wondering - scot... Land,
Eng... land, anger... Land, and then only Wales.
I like that. Only one good, small country there too
This overshadows people with a sense of balance,
into my mind.
And Scotland, if I can say,
is the most beautiful country in the world
You've been there No no
Ha ha! No, but for years,
a friend sent me postcard,
and one builds an image in the mind's eye.
Uh, and it intensifies to the point where,
Frankly, I actually consider myself
to become Scotland...
Even though, of course, by mail.
Is there something wrong?
Why don't we drink?
I'm afraid of not having it much that you can offer
except water, But, as you can see,
I have a good collection
Oh yeah.
Aqua java, avalon, evian,
Canada is clear, luster,
dannon, naya, spring eternal -
Eternal Spring I don't want to know whether to drink it
or put it on my skin Very good, sir Eternal spring, that.
And one for your friend.
Thank you very much.
Don't be afraid of that, kid.
Thank you.
[Both laugh]
Thank you.
Well, I love water. I used to like to drink liquor.
I used to be a little Marty Nadi Marty, I'm afraid,
but...
Thank you for my higher strength,
which I choose to call my lord and savior of Jesus Christ,
I haven't taken in more than 5 days I am an alcoholic.
I'm not afraid to say it
for them, by the way. Ha ha ha.
I used to think so because of my uncle inserting his index finger into my anus
when I was little, but...
That's all water under the bridge now
Okay, for business.
We have a small problem,
and I think we can clean up soon.
You have maxed out your credit card We only need to get it a trace of another card
Oh, there's a misunderstanding.
Please don't be shy. It's nothing.
That always happens.
We only have a number of accusations,
and we have to keep the flow
This is for food, massage,
, uh, maxi bar,
film in room
Male San Francisco -
I don't think 3 times. You understand
I've seen it myself. Not that I judge you.
I'm here as a competitor--
that's all I need other credit cards
I don't think governance of the world
international federation
will have it from their own competitors
pay for your own hotel room.
[Sighs]
However,
I will have it to ask you
to live up to you fiscal responsibility,
and until that happens...
I will have it to hold this
Uh, here in Century Plaza,
we never like to remind our guests
We will do it,
But we don't like it.
[Camera takes pictures]
Secretary: Monique,
I have Mr. MacKenzie here to see you Monique: okay Tell him to wait.
I think this is it now.
Secretary: Good morning. W.H.I.F.
Monique.
Hello. Hi.
Thank you God. Hotels don't have notes there
in terms of payment.
They don't know that you - that w.H.I.F., I mean,
is - take tab for competitors Um, fine picking up the tab,
but not one of the competitors.
[laughs]
Who are you?
me? I'm Crawford.
I am Crawford MacKenzie.
You wrote to me yourself,
invites me to be part of -hair off.
Here.
Oh.
I - I wrote this.
Um...
This is a form letter, however.
Every year, our computer takes 100 people randomly from our colleague membership list,
and we invite them to come to L.A.
For hair-off,
but to be part of the audience on a big night
Ahem.
So this is just, uh...
Well, if you see here on the bottom,
it says that we have ordered you ordered the hotel--
booking courtesy hotels--
everyone - overall luck to get 100
This is preferential level group, so...
Monique, I'm from Scotland.
Large.
In Scotland, when did someone invite you for a hair competition to participate,
it usually means you will participate
in the hair competition
and not sitting in the back row of stalls
with luck 99 new friends chewing damn raisins
Sorry, and this...
This is terrible misunderstanding.
No, no, it's okay. Very.
Honestly, it's okay.
I've come 7,000 miles
to become part of a hair competition
I'm not even signed in,
but it's okay This is really not a problem.
Let's go. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Look at this. $ 10 for cola cherry cans
Where on this bill does it say
that you have to pay for these things?
There, sir.
What else did he say? that you have to pay for it?
Where else on the bill does that say that?
[Camera takes pictures]
Whoa!
Hey! watching it, you punk
Killer goes up, You are fat bagel!
One of yours
Mm-hmm. Sorry.
Hello dear.
How are you?
Listen, I got...
Hi mom!
Ha ha!
The bald woman.
Yes.
What ah, you have a lot, man
Large. yes.
How much is it?
Yes, I understand a double occupancy.
Crawford: I think is a wise choice,
moved from the last hotel
Too lightning.
Too much luxury bad for my instrument
Samuels: You don't feel
This is a little from a comedian for you No, not at all. I really like it here.
I think it's much more cute.
You know, is rather charming
I mean, look. Look at that.
This is sweet, isn't it?
That's Rococo type design
And I think That's the difference
between British and American.
Even in Demi- categories here,
they tried.
Your thoughts, you are still not actually in the competition.
Of course I'm still in Competition, Martin.
There are small ones bureaucratic mistakes
Everything will be alright tomorrow morning.
[Chugging]
Jesus Christ.
This could be very dangerous.
It smells good.
[Cough]
There may be air fresheners in it.
Kind of like potpourri inside or something
to make the room fragrant.
I will open the window anyway
Can you do something? about this?
[Camera takes pictures]
Do you like spicy food?
This isn't spicy.
Well, this is for me.
If you want hot food,
I can drop you off to Mexico
That will be great.
If we have time, we have to do that
We have everything to go down.
Turn him over.
So, what did you get up this morning
I went to koreatown, and I saw chokko--
you know, eamonn friend limo driver
And, um...
He looks like a good guy and everything.
Although, uh, that's the way it is terrible environment I am very happy to get out.
Looks rather expensive only for renting a car.
After all, we are mobile.
Do you want to drink or something?
I don't think you are meant to eat it
I think they are just decoration [High pitched whining]
Good trip, man.
Thank you.
I can see that you like it, but our friend eamonn
really pulls the cat out of the box with this one
I want to see their faces if I go down sauciehall street on this
This is quite big, isn't it?
This is Doris mobile day.
The problem is, they drink gasoline with a gallon.
So are my half friends in Glasgow
So where do we go?
Monique's
Do you really think is a good idea?
Yes. he is the organizer,
and it's partially my fault.
I let my ego go away We will let bygones become bygones However, he will change his mind when he saw my portfolio.
[Camera takes pictures]
It's amazing. Really, all of that.
This is just...
Thank you very much.
This is amazing. I mean, I - me...
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I understand now why you think you might have...
Really, there's no need. That is my mistake.
I lost my temper. Forgive me.
I will tell you what I will do I'll put you in the best seat at home.
Here, between Daniel day-Lewis
and carrots.
Thank you very much, Monique,
but I came to compete.
Right.
Ahem.
Um...
Crawford, with all due respect,
This stylist is international star
OK? 3 hairdressers compete every year
Top hairdressers in Beverly Hills are not invited.
So, I don't know how else I can explain that
Intercom: Monique.
I came.
But I'm just as good, if it's not better,
than them.
You really don't understand, are you
Tsk.
You mean it doesn't matter how good you are
Seeing, is of course important,
but we don't even know who you are, ok
Then takes years
before you have been selected
I want to enter.
You can't just enter. You must be invited.
Then invite me.
I can't I don't know who you are.
I am Crawford MacKenzie.
Oy. see...
Even if I can just let you in,
You don't even qualify to compete You are not even a member of the union You are not even a member of h.A.G.
At least,
all the stylists are union members
This is competition requirements, ok
Then I will join.
I'm sorry.
Please.
Crawford: Hairdresser from American union
Right. I need one day working in a salon
to get h.A.G. Card union
If I can't get it a day's work here,
I'd better hang up the phone my crimping clamp and hobble off to sunset
* he is not *
* wandering *
* with gang no longer *
He doesn't do wild things he did before *
* he used to act badly *
* Previously, but he stopped *
Hi. Hello.
Hi. I want to speak for stig, please
Do you have an promise?
Uh, no
Do you want to make one?
I can enter you Tuesday at 2:00.
You misunderstood me. I am a fellow stylist.
I want to speak for him personally
I'm sorry.
You can't even talk to me without an appointment
Oh, don't be silly.
What? You ignore me now
because I have no promise?
Ha ha. Hello!
Kimberly, let him in Thank you.
WELCOME to to valhenna
It is truly an honor to finally meet you, Mr. ludwigssen
I'm sure of that
I can't really believe it.
Believe it. I stand here.
I've been a big fan of from you since -
I don't have all days bleeding
Can we continue the question please?
I have used your salmon rinse finishing on my mother,
and I noticed, pre-drying,
a little air from toast.
Is that normal, or do I apply it incorrectly?
Excuse me, excuse me.
you. ah, ok, wait come here.
Hello, my name is Martin Samuels.
I made TV -
this film documentary
about Crawford MacKenzie.
But - Crawford MacKenzie?
Who is Crawford MacKenzie?
I am Crawford MacKenzie.
you?
Yes. I am a fellow stylist.
And I'm here representing Scotland
in platinum scissor competition
Oh. very?
Actually, I want a word with you,
because I've run a little from a technical obstacle.
I don't have h.A.G. Card.
And me - you know, I need it for competition
Of course you did, huh
So, I need one working day at the salon
Only to soften it.
Do you know what? I will really like to help you...
Large.
But I won't do it.
Lars.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Please.
I'm leaving. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Buttocks.
His the way the hairdresser '.
He anointed me, Martin.
He said, "Crawford MacKenzie, . You can do it yourself."
Samuels: is there luck?
I think they want me, but I can't work there.
There is a terrible smell in that place
I don't know what that is
I think they made curry from someone panties behind
It's rotten.
Alright, I'll leave.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
No?
Racist
Racist?
Racist
He said to me, he said, "We don't like braveheart,
" We don't like whiskey,
"and we are not like your accent,
so please come out."
I don't know about you, man,
but it sounds like like racism to me
Fair enough.
America, land is free, huh?
Man: h.A.G.? Don't talk for me about h.A.G.,
the loser bastard
They have forgotten what is really all about
Look at this.
A simple step is cut with a razor.
This is classic. Exactly.
You think I can do something like this
at the salon in Beverly Hills?
Not possible, Joe-sá.
I understand.
How can you enter h.A.G. In the first place?
What do you think?
Celeb Support.
Exactly. celebrity support
Why don't you call you? Sean Connery's friend
You don't just call Sean Connery.
His telephone number changes every 4 days
for security reasons.
What I do is I connect with people's magazines,
and they say no has a number, either,
but they can do it the next best thing
They make me connect with their public relations.
You are always looking for to dig dirt,
isn't it, Martin?
I think it's a problem with you.
[Camera takes pictures]
Hello. Hi.
I want to talk for Harper candy, please
Do you have an promise?
No, but my name is Crawford MacKenzie.
I'm a friend from Sean Connery's
Do you know Sean Connery?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
He's a client here, but I've never met him
She's very rad on zardoz
Yes.
Uh, candy, there's a Crawford MacKenzie
here to see you Is he on the list?
No, but he's a friend from Sean Connery's
Does he have an appointment?
No.
OK?
I'm sorry. Candy can't possibly see you
without appointment
Can you call and make one possible?
I'm not afraid I'm sorry. I didn't mean that went over your head, baby,
But this is a Scottish problem.
You really think this chocolate shows really bad, huh?
Hi. Hello. David Hasselhoff, I am Crawford MacKenzie.
Hi.
You are a god in Scotland.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Excuse me. This is not a scheduled interview.
Who are you?
Why, you woman from the airport.
Are you Harper candy?
And who are you?
My name is Martin Samuels.
I made a documentary for British television
David, this is a nice surprise,
and I can say on a personal note,
my niece has just sent a life certificate to save lives.
Great. let me hopefully the best
I wonder, you know, When you're on the beach,
sun and sea and sand,
it must play havoc with your hair
What kind of product Do you use?
Candy, I have to go.
Um, tour Germany. OK see you.
Thank you very much,
and hello to all my fans in Scotland.
What do you want?
Oh, I'm sorry to break through to you like this,
but I'm a friend from Sean Connery's
I wonder if you can make me connect
Mr. Connery is tee off now
Well, I think he will do it if he knows I've been here,
and the representative doesn't put me--
okay, I'm sure he will fire me
Why don't you give your number gretle
We will catch it relating to you
Look, it's written here, and I quote...
"Sean Connery sees himself
as an ambassador for scots all over the place."
Well, I'm Scottish, I'm everywhere,
and I demanded to see the Ambassador
Candy: gretle!
Sorry.
Alright, I'll go,
but just let me say one thing
I think that your behavior is indicative
from being shortsighted bureaucratic things
that Sean has been fighting for his whole life.
Pantene pro-v
with a generic brand alkaline conditioner,
using insoluble rinse finishing
Held in place with a combustible stiffener.
Are you angry?
How do you know?
A hair professional knows.
Wow.
Let me just say one thing.
If this level of abuse continues,
in the future, when will you have your hair finished,
You don't need to be there
I can help you, of course, but remember the situation...
I didn't give you the number
3 words--
television...
And...
Savalas
Crawford: the problem is with all its products
You have used
is that they are all based on alcohol.
What difference does it make?
Well, according to layman's terms, That means your hair is drunk.
You have thousands of from alcoholics
growing from your head.
That's why your hair is helpless and uncontrollable It must go into rehab.
First things first.
No, it's okay.
Kiwi volumizing reconstructor
This is for hair.
I was surprised that I hadn't told you about it yet He doesn't comb my hair.
That is clear. I mean as a friend.
Well, I only met him the other day.
He is out doing client work hair at the airport
Why are you here?
I represent Scotland
in platinum scissors.
Oh really?
Monique didn't tell me there is a Scottish competitor there Oh yeah.
So you don't too know Sean at all
I did I got it out of traffic jam,
and he owes me a favor.
What kind of traffic jam?
Loose lips sink the ship. Shut up.
[Squirting]
Ooh.
Ooh, a little on my finger
It doesn't leak, does it?
It hasn't leaked yet. Not.
Can you keep your head in one place for a while?
That's what they all said Pfff!
[Both laugh]
* I like Jerry springer *
* I am a sexy swinger, yes *
finished
I was thinking about it cut it very short How long has it been?
What?
In my experience,
women cut their hair very short
for one of two reasons -
whether they're past a bad parting with a man,
or they are very involved
In the world of golf women
I see you,
and I don't see many putter
Oh, bad thing.
Very.
Crawford: _ women and men,
may I be present your employer--
Miss Candice Margaret hilda harper
Woman: very good. This looks amazing.
I just like it.
[Camera takes pictures]
Hello, Mr. Connery. This is Crawford MacKenzie.
Actually, I am your fan
long before we met
I never really got the chance to properly praise you on the subaquatic segment
never say never again
What does it feel like to work with Barbara carrera?
Sounds good, honey.
Now just dial number.
Hello, 007? This is a hair master.
[laughs]
Samuels: are you worried Sean might not remember you?
according to you I can have some privacy,
please, Martin?
Come on. Just call him, man
Come on.
Alright alright. Why don't you go back?
OK? Hello.
Martin, why not? just go back
Come on, fail.
Why don't you go to the shirt bar
you were last night
Do you have your camera? run?
Cut. are you, eh
Sean, this is Crawford. Sean, this is Crawford.
Sean, that's Crawford
Hi, Sean. This is Crawford MacKenzie.
You may Don't remember me,
but I'm the one that steam cleanses your hairpiece
at gleneagles when it explodes
on the fourth green for Benny hill pro-am.
Ha ha! Fun days.
Anyway, I wonder if you can write a letter to h.A.G.
Tell them what the hairdr is great -
Thank you very much.
Samuels: have you got it? entered Hollywood
Submitting.
Right, so that's how it is jogging and talking
Crawford: good.
Ahem. Sean is busy.
He's a busy person,
But he did suggest Maybe I want
to mix candy a little more.
Schmooze is an old yiddish word.
It means talking business
and eat snacks at the same time.
I thought lentl said it to one of his accomplices at Fiddler on a hot zinc roof.
However, the point is,
I have set it up Lunch is my first strength Oh good. Yes.
That's very good.
Do you understand entered Hollywood
[thud]
Crawford: thank you for lunch with me It's okay. I always eat lunch--
sometimes several times a day.
Ha ha.
Anyway, the reason I want to talk to you is--
excuse me. Hi.
I am very happy to tell you about our specials today As an appetizer, we have a backpack ribbon
from Haitians cruditás
As entráe, we have all boiled
numidian hen.
That's pan-seared in own juice
and then fried before being wrapped
in the filo kingdom itself
and surrounded by ditches
glowing chust custard
This is very valuable waiting 15 minutes.
We will have 2 Caesar salad
Very good choice
Anyway, the reason I want--
no. before you say a word,
I have to tell you something.
You really comforted me the other day.
You are the first person I have met for a long time
what I feel can be a true friend
and not always so after something
Jerry and me
will give it try again Ohh. I really think that many things to do
with this makeover that you gave me
Mmm.
I really feel interesting again Now, you see, this is not just about hair.
It's about healing.
You are very right.
That's why Jerry and I will spend
end of week in Santa Barbara
on psychic friends back tennis
Mmm.
Fun. What is that?
This is a tennis retreat--
psychic weekend friends in Santa Barbara -
Jerry and I will end the weekend.
Large. mmm.
Hey...
Candy.
Hey, Johnny.
Hey, fruit cup.
Stig.
Look at you
My Lord, You look sensational.
Are you glowing
Ha! Who is the one who fucked you, huh?
You can tell me.
What is it, Hercules?
[Everyone laughs]
God.
By the way, I want to thanks again
to exit to the airport
doing Harrison hair
Eh. He is very happy Of course, of course.
Hey, Scotland.
From my salon right?
Nice to meet you again
Oh, that's him I say -
look out, stig. He will give you
run for your money in. platinum scissors
[Both laugh]
Yes, sure.
He can't even get a job sweeping the floor
in my salon for h.A.G. Card.
Candy: stig.
Good - listen to Hey,
next month, is a loser day
Back. I urinate in your head Piss in your head.
There is a camera.
He is a jerk.
Wait, wait, wait.
Breathing.
[Breathes deep]
So let me straighten this
You can't enter platinum scissors
without h.A.G. Card?
Also why don't you just say?
I will leave, but then You say all those good things
about being your friend You are my friend.
I can get your card.
Humans: Thank you.
This is my city, remember?
Come to my office towards the end of the day
I will give you a job that will make you h.A.G. Entitled.
Hey!
Hey, wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Excuse me, this is my car.
What-- is ok, ok I see...
You must be Ming Tai-pei
Strange. You don't look like
a 78-year-old Asian chef from koreatown
I don't know who you are talking about.
This is my car. I rented it this morning.
Yes, he did it. Close it
Thank you.
You're welcome.
This car is a stolen vehicle,
and you are captured, ming
[Camera takes pictures]
Where are you?
Samuels: I sent a guarantee,
but they won't let you out until this morning
Creeping.
Where is the car?
They don't want to give me bloody car!
They will not make every bloody arrest,
because there is insufficient proof of blood
I am lucky I am not deported.
Now, there he is.
I'll go down to koreatown
I will sort out this chokko character
Koreatown? I'm not sure--
[squeal ban]
[Sirens]
That's very dangerous.
[Camera takes pictures]
[Dance music playing]
Chokko, this is Crawford MacKenzie.
I want to talk to you about cars
Man: don't hang around here, áse!
Crawford: it's not your car is rented out. Come on, chokko.
I don't think so very good idea
We have to - I think we should maybe go now
[gunshot]
[Shot]
Seamus: oh, god
Ah, I wet my pants.
[Camera takes pictures]
Samuels: so, already Come like this,
and now you will only give up opportunity for life
Yes.
Right.
Let me tell you something, Martin.
There are many things I are willing to do for my art,
but was attacked by a team from crack Korea snipers
not one of them, okay?
Oh...
Humans...
I'm very sorry.
I am, um...
Hear what happened with the car,
and I just ran here as soon as I heard
I say that chokko guy -
I told him, "I never did it. _ Doing business with you again Oh, I am very happy, eamonn
I am very happy
I am happy to know which I have died,
really been shot to death,
I will not die in vain,
because you business matters
definitely stored in order
I'm just happy You're fine, bro.
I don't your brother.
[Car horn horn]
Candy: Crawford?
Crawford.
What?
Where are you already
Didn't you get my message?
Sorry. I'm being raped in prison You shouldn't come out enjoy yourself
when you have work to do
I don't care I have a job -
a runway.
You must be there in one hour.
Candy, I'll go home.
Samuels: yes, he is Yes.
This is h.A.G. Job.
You do this, you can into the competition
Now come on, Come on.
But my car was confiscated.
[pissing] mate, no problem. I'll drive
Damn right, You will, you big big toe.
Candy, eamonn. Eamonn, Candy. Let's go.
Samuels: Christ.
Welcome to kingdom joy
Oh. Harper candy for Betty fuego
Do you pack your own items? bag today, sir
Uh, yeah
Bringing alcohol,
knives, pistols, illegal drugs,
cocaine, heroin, or other opiates?
Excuse me. Hi.
Wearing the color of the gang Back there, ma'am?
I'm Harper candy.
This is Crawford MacKenzie.
We are here for Betty Fuego.
Ok, that's too many names Harpist. Harper candy
Oh yeah. Ok, I have 3 entrance.
Right. You will have to return this rig to the top
for many "z"
and runs inside
Eamonn: if possible just take it--
back to top! Let's go.
Crawford?
Crawford MacKenzie?
Hi. Candy, I'm very sorry about jumbled at the gate.
So I've been here for 4 years,
and this is true I'm far from home.
That's great. Where is my model?
Oh. um...
They like called actors
This is a local convention.
Good.
well.
This is the dressing room
Oh, hi, Betty. Hi, friend.
[Camera takes pictures]
But candy says that likes to do it -
that - what you want h.A.G. Card.
This is ridiculous.
I am a hairdresser. I'm not a veterinarian.
Betty: Then I'll go must tell the actor
the show was canceled.
Hey, hey, hey.
Release your ego.
Just go there and do your work I have her hair I don't do animal hair.
I am disappointed with MU.
Do you know how many strings I have to pull
make this happen?
in power? They are 4 mental method actors
in animal costumes
Listen to me. The price is 300 dollars to get rid of from the ordinary stylist
Doing it?
Yes.
Oh, hey, listen, everyone,
only a few notes from the last appearance
Remember, for part foraging,
Let's see some more details
what food are you looking for, ok
Reach the inside of your actor's toolbox
Hey, I'm eamonn I belong to Crawford driver. Hey.
I just want you to go out there and kick some buttocks.
Man: stop by jumping Man: I'm looking for for my carrot
This is a fucking kids show.
Oh, no, no.
[Hair blowing dryer]
Betty: we got a new agent coming today
He has a new agent in palm Springs.
I've been trying to get to additional guilds
This hurts, you know?
After I finish with this,
This will look like Elvis Presley.
A kind of forest Elvis Presley creature,
but it sure is Elvis Presley still.
[People chatting]
Will you stop? -hopping already?
Rabbit: I'm working. I'm working, okay?
I'm a rabbit
Animals, animals, a little peace in the kingdom,
if you please.
Bears, bears, come on, hibernate
Hibernate
Now, look, I know we've only got a short time to pull this object together,
but I think we're done good job bloody
No, Crawford, you've done it good job bloody
Yes, yes.
Thank you, thank you. Come here, come here.
Everyone, rub the back from the animal next to you Come on. Ahh. Are you there.
Rabbit: god
Animals: Give me Serenity
to receive the item I cannot change.
[The camera takes pictures]
[Music playing]
Animals: * hey, kids, remember *
* there is a nice touch and a bad touch *
* Don't be a chicken *
[clucks]
* to say no to drugs *
* no no No *
* hips and a hop *
* Oh yeah *
* but I'm not gangsta *
* boom boom boom ba boom bay *
* doo ba da ba *
Thank you. That's fantastic.
That's the best show first
That's amazing. You are great
You're great
Finale. Crawford MacKenzie--
member, h.A.G.
Samuels: but you're still not in the competition
He will.
Samuels: yes
Eamonn, which is good place to go dance?
Depends on what you want.
You've been to the Spartacus club I've done it before.
You should have to bring it there [Honks horn]
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Ohh.
Ho ho.
Oh, you look amazing, man.
It's just a little something I throw together.
It's kind of a bold heart meets liberace,
or si tu práfáres...
Bravace.
[gasps] ohh!
I really love him here.
God, look at that.
I've never been - there's nothing like this in Scotland
I mean, is nothing like that
Entire freedom that place
really makes me feel that way...
Jesus! God--
[dance music playing]
* I have to dream *
* yes, yes *
[woman sings in Spanish]
I am Crawford MacKenzie.
I am a hairdresser.
I am a fellow stylist.
[cheering]
* I have to dream *
[camera takes pictures]
You now have an license for style,
weaving, and cutting
in the state of from California
Mr. MacKenzie, Congratulations.
Thank you.
Great thing has h.A.G. Card
can you make it Every hair event in the world,
is it a Vidal chassis Rodeo is fast at risk
or the ludwigssen stig speaks about modern hair products.
However, I can't wait for to show Monique geingold
h.A.G. Card.
[Camera takes pictures]
The problem is, the problem is modern hair care products
they are homogeneous.
They are pasteurized. They are fried.
They are swung. They are baked.
They are not real.
But in valhenna,
We are ready in the 21st century.
Will go back to nature.
We say to nature, "Hello, nature. " Listen, we apologize about the ozone layer,
"but can we borrow it? some fish
to make our woman _ beautiful again?"
do you see it? It runs fast right?
This is a coincidence.
Used to swim like this, Now swimming like this.
We have it reduced here into pasta This is a special dandelion and a kind of paste to go to dirt.
We take all this fish,
and we put it into the bottle
Then We massage it gently
directly to the scalp.
Good. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Um, and then I did a documentary
about fishing shrimp in the Philippines,
which, I mean... Mmm.
This is surprising,
poverty levels that they live in,
and I will love you to see it.
So, is that good for you?
Excellent.
Always.
What is it? Acting.
Acting? I can't behave. I have never had parents.
I'm working.
Hi, Monique. Hi.
Hi.
Ta-da.
Congratulations. Thank you.
That's great.
Is that so?
I see...
Then?
So now he can in hair-off.
Candy.
Crawford, I can't let it go You are hair-off
just because you have h.A.G. Card.
You said I could enter hair
if I have h.A.G. Card.
No, I didn't do it.
Dear, this is far more than h.A.G. Object.
I'm sorry.
Listen, I respect you as an artist, okay?
I do, and...
And I like BBC, okay?
I love theater works,
only, you didn't get into my competition,
OK?
That's not fair. You lie.
Excuse me.
I'm not going to be intimidated, okay?
Hey, hey, Scotland, what--
oh. still making films
about a man who can't find a job?
Ha ha! Oh, my God.
Hey, I gave you a job, huh?
My ass kiss.
Don't be like a puncture.
Monique, give him a break. Please?
Ok, everyone admires your little charity work,
but really, why waste your time
Not carrying around
enough excess baggage is it?
[Camera takes pictures]
[Music playing]
Crawford: forget him
She's just stupid Tart Beverly Hills
put together with and pantyhose hair spray.
This is not about Monique. It's about Jerry.
Oh no.
Something has happened
on psychic back tennis friends?
I caught it with another woman
I should have seen it arrival.
He is nearby Lunch premonition,
the actual one was held the night before.
Bad thing
Why are we always like that? love of people
who caused us to be the most sick?
I know.
One night in Glasgow,
I'm wrong for Belgian football fans
by 4 sailors who defeated me does not make sense
I still keep in touch with one of them -
Donald. [laughs]
TV announcer: Up and down again. Bonus shot now.
[Crowd cheers]
From the rim, fighting wildly for the ball...
There are 2 daughters there kissing
[laughs]
So, do you feel is your time here
Has really been wasted?
Do you know what, Martin?
You talk too much.
... for tomorrow night
platinum international scissor competition
Maverick billionaire industrialist
Warren Crockett also in town
Although one of the companies sponsors the competition,
It seems impossible that Tycoon is the puzzle
really going to watch tomorrow night.
Listen, I don't mind if a group of boys is soft gather here and snip a little hair
as long as it's selling several chests
juice salon for me Anchor: if I know senator Crockett at all,
he's going to shop the weekend
on the person golf course at the hospital.
What did he spend, what , $ 20 million?
You're close - 25 million.
But again, when your golf friend
Like, Tiger Woods and Sean Connery,
You don't waste money, Do you know what I'm saying?
I don't think so.
Preferred for the third year running
is the world champion stylist stig ludwigssen
I feel great, really.
I'm young. I am healthy.
I'm tempting, sexy, cool.
Hey, there it is You are out of here
Calm down.
Sorry. he's upset with this jet lag thing.
[Camera takes pictures]
[Knocking]
Psst.
Seamus can't find it Seamus: I have my passport in it This, you know where, uh...
Do you know where the coffee is? Jesus Christ.
Sorry.
Exit.
Exit out.
[Camera takes pictures]
Good morning tiger Crawford: stop it Don't call me that
[Growls]
[TV in]
Stop that. I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay.
You could just fool me Last night.
Wow, things You did for me...
Where are you learning that
You are a total animal
Ha ha! And why do you continue? call me gareth
I don't.
"Gareth! Gareth!"
What is this?
Mmm. it is rainmaker
It sounds like a toilet is watered
All right, you don't have to worry You can't do anything even if you want.
Of course, he did a miracle for my pride Sorry, candy
I admire you. I really.
Mmm.
It's just...
I prefer my woman with penis I made a fool from myself
Eat your breakfast.
Come here, try to be part of the competition
I do not even talk.
It's like coming to the Olympic game with a pair of shorts and say,
"Ok, where is my javelin?"
No happen, is not it?
I'm glad you're here
I'm sorry You are like a pussy
Think of the first person
to get knocked around by tinseltown?
You think like this bullshit doesn't happen
for everyone who got off the bus?
Ohh.
Good...
Let me tell you something, friend You have big dreams
You want fame Well, cost fame.
And here is where You start paying--
in sweat
Ahh!
Are you okay?
You're great hairdresser right?
I don't even know anymore.
Are you great hairdresser?
Yes or no.
Is he great hairdresser?
Yes, that is so.
Are you great hairdresser?
Yes, right.
Well, then you can win this is hair-off
I can't even enter It's hair-off If you can enter, you can win right?
Yes.
Complete your cocoa puffs.
Crawford: candy is beautiful
I know he is well connected in Hollywood,
but I never dreamed he will get it
American heavyweight comedy, Mr. interesting Carey,
to come to lunch with a hat cap.
Waiter: How much?
I think you will go right to feature
Be careful, Denzel.
Excuse me.
Someone wants to a word with you
Hi. drawing
There are only a few things I love in life, Monique.
I like small puppies on Christmas.
I like the sound of the water making
When it touches the pillar
under the bridge sighs on the wall,
I love leather underwear
Large.
But most importantly, Monique,
I like what the person is not with hair
Thank you.
Never make me say it again, ok
Shhh. shh.
Crawford: Attracting Carey is not a Jew,
However,
he is an expert in schmoozing art.
In a short time,
he has Monique geingold eat from his hand,
hook, line, and sinker.
The result is whether we are called
for a powwow in Monique's office.
I wear a blue sweater.
Like you two know,
platinum scissors competition has
held by Warren Crockett for the past 25 years
Because of the extraordinary The nature of this situation,
I called the senator at home this morning
You are an amazing artist, Crawford.
That is without doubt, and impression
that you have made in this city in a short time
unmatched.
Thank you.
Even though you have a phenomenal effort,
the senator has decided not included
Another stylist at this year's Competition.
I'm sorry.
Monique -
sweets, forgive me Thank you for your time.
Like mint?
Cameron: the hardest part about all this is it true not about me
That's about people back home--
Mr Patel, Honest postman,
Margaret, gareth, mother--
people who have never won anything in their lives,
Moreover international prizes are dressed
This is for small people
And we all know what happened
for small people, no?
They are trampled by big people.
Great people who are awkward with big feet...
Destroying little people on the sidewalk of life.
Dream of being stuck like an insect
in the giant destiny shoes
This is just sad.
[Change clink]
[Dialing]
[imitating] hello, this is Sean Connery
I want to talk to senator Crockett, please
Hello, Warren. How are you? This is Sean.
[gunshot]
Crockett: draw it!
Great shot!
This is a good place You've arrived here
That's very beautiful. Very.
Yes? drag it
Aah!
You got it again.
Let's go up
I've known Sean Connery for 25 years,
and you have so far been worst imitation
I've heard.
You tried to cheat me,
and I feel very...
Charming.
Heh.
Now, what do you want?
I need help So why should I help you?
I studied with you, Mr. Crockett.
You start with nothing Now you dominate the world.
no
Cannot has been easy
the only American child in the Shanghai orphanage
16 children to the hammock, Mr. MacKenzie.
What's the point
This isn't like your empire popping up from perfectly formed land
You started with a dry-cleaning shop in Manila.
When you are 25 years old,
you're the most successful entrepreneur in Asia
Garment industry, rubber,
tin mining, cosmetics
You think I owe you advantageous universe,
and you want to call it
Ha ha ha!
Son...
You have a ball from dynamite
Hahahaha!
Thank you. Very. Thank you very much.
Sure.
Take care, kid.
Cheerio.
Crockett: Give hell, Crawford!
Stars out apply tonight
for annual L.A. Hair Extravaganza
Giuseppe Franco, How are you doing tonight
Veronica, how are you tonight?
Jose, how are you tonight?
Stig ludwigssen--
A big beautiful kiss talent.
He has a ball like this.
I think the stig will.
Whoever in the hair is here
to watch the world top stylist
compete for main prize -
platinum scissors
So, this is the night we've been working towards.
How are you feeling?
I feel great, actually.
I feel like William Wallace must have been felt
before the battle bridge stirred,
only my hair that is not puffed and is not maintained, obviously.
Candy, hello. Mmm.
We are very happy and respectful
You can do it make it
I tried my best to get you I'm just glad everyone finally came together.
How is the senator?
She's great. He is great.
Johnny: candy! Hi, fruit cup.
Oh, Johnny.
Mmm. grr.
Well, that's how it is, Scottish people.
Finally it works, huh?
Alright, I always know you will
Right? Didn't I say that?
You know, you have ambition, determination.
Hey, you remind me of me.
Ha ha ha!
That's right.
I hope not too much.
Ha ha ha! Right? Well.
Congratulations, Crawford,
and good luck, very.
Thank you very much.
And good luck for you.
Good. mmm!
Hey, hey, listen.
Why did you say good luck?
I'm just being polite.
I don't mean it.
Wait, Johnny...
What?
Is this poo-snacker any good
Obviously, she must be beautiful It's good if she's here right?
Whatever you need,
I'm going to right outside
Ok, thank you.
Thank you.
Alright, let's take a drink. Crawford?
You go ahead I will with you soon.
Alright. Come on.
Did you say that? He is better than me Ha ha! Come on, stig.
There is nothing better than you. Take it easy.
I only say there must be a rule, you know
Why did Crockett let him enter in the first place?
I don't understand.
I think he might Bum Crockett girl.
Oh, I'm pretty sure Crockett isn't gay.
[Whistles] hey, hey
Just go right here for a moment.
I want to tell you something.
Don't you make love to me?
Don't make love to me.
Don't ever fuck with me, Johnny
Good luck, cool, cool Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
I host Tony Bolero.
Hi how are you?
Thank you very much.
Let's start.
Let's find out what is all the fuss about.
And here it is--
priceless platinum scissors
[Applause]
Crawford?
Crawford!
Not him here!
Sorry. Crawford?
Crawford?
Leave. I have a panic attack
Dear, let's talk Open the door.
I want to go home.
You can't go home, man!
Leave.
As long as they are covered in mystery.
All of that is already known
are those initially melted by hand for tuning Nicholas ii from Russia
by Carl Fabergé himself.
Just open it door, baby
Let me enter.
I think I might be so having a stroke
[Slap] aah
Do you feel that?
Yes!
Then it's not stoke
Come on.
That's a good child.
Monique: Alright, here it is.
Nicki, you will with Crawford.
Kimora, you will with dick, of course
Dave and contrelle, together as usual.
Kylie, thank you for coming with stig again.
I know how busy you are today In 1941, over Nazi Adolf Hitler
almost got the fascist finger on this scissors
not for courage from French resistance fighters
that was intercepted This scissor is very
on their way to berchtegaden
Women and men, it gave me cold
stands so close magnificent platinum scissors
Alright, gentlemen, The command that runs is as follows.
Crawford, you will be the first
Dick, you're in second place, followed by Dave,
and stig, as champion, you will be the last
Gentlemen...
For your tongs [Click]
And when the excitement grows,
let's meet the judge.
First, who claims to be naughty his own hair,
one, only,
giuseppe Franco, women and men.
[Applause]
Impresario Celtic salon
from Mery Tydfil in South Wales,
Titch Jones!
King of all products,
John Paul Mitchell
and beautiful elois dejoria
I'm not sweating now.
When I start sweating, You will know that.
Now.
now.
Yes.
We have one hour to go.
For my friends south of the border,
60 minutes to go.
[Nicki yells]
Aah!
Candy: What is happening?
God.
Someone put some red dye in all of their products.
The mousse, the serum, the volumizers.
What's the difference It's over now.
That's it. We are in trouble.
I'm sorry.
We will get it next year, man
What did you say?
There's always next year. We will get it.
No, not always the following year
Candy, let me a beautiful girl
You don't have time I'll give you more time.
Good. Thank you.
Eamonn, the material on the sofa.
Candy, beautiful girl, please!
Crawford, listening.
I have a lot of volumizers
You're welcome for them, friend.
Thank you, Dave. I will come.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, I know you are waiting,
and we go to have a competition
There has been a little backstage accident
We will change the order of our competitors.
Our newcomer, Crawford MacKenzie from Scotland,
will last last tonight.
But I guarantee competition will be stiff,
So enjoy yourself.
Do what I do. Drink more.
Thank you.
[band playing]
Monique! Monique!
Stig must go last.
He's a champion.
You can't put Scotland Strange people appear after him.
Veronica!
Hi how are you?
Hi. big.
I'm very happy. I always want to be here I mean, you're not even famous - I'm sorry I told you, he will walk,
and then you will be screwed
Ok, if the stig is running, he is disqualified
He is close to where he is already disqualified,
and you know why
Oh come on, Monique.
Stig has nothing to do with it
Blow me.
I have to find out your head first
We have some rubber cement here
This won't hurt your hair.
You have your cake.
I have to calm down just a little.
[Drumroll]
And now, it's time You've all been waiting -
main event
One stylist...
One model...
One hairdo, one shot...
On a big prize.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
our first contestant evening, Mr. dick miyake!
[Applause]
[speaks Japanese]
Tony: what the dick said is "transition
from the monk to the hairdresser That hurts me."
Give me some of that.
Veronica, put your finger -
we actually will take you up
Tony: "My ancestors guide my hand
like I created my carved ."
Arigato.
[Applause]
And now, first, is a special style for tonight competition by miyake dick,
and he only calls it "the home of the rising of the sun."
I don't want it
Candy, I'm sorry
Add cheese in my hair
This will work.
Will damage my hair Oh, ho, no, it looks great
This looks great.
Women and men, dick miyake,
Kimora, and "sunrise house."
Tony: alright, let's check this score
9.7, 9.7,
John Paul Mitchell, 9.8. Beautiful.
And 9.7, 9.8, 9.7.
Good score for dick miyake!
If this is the beginning, imagine what will happen
But don't imagine long,
because here we come British invaders, Dave London.
And this is Dave who is resting in his favorite pub in England.
This is where my career really took off
I came here someday,
sitting there has a dump
is his great empire bubble woman bank frampton.
So I gave him a piece, he showed his friends,
they like it
Bob is your uncle, The next thing you know,
I'm an international hairdressing sensation
What is amazing,
Tony: here it is!
Dave London and his magical creation...
"Wembley Wonderland."
[Playing rock music]
God saved Our friendly Queen *
* longevity our noble queen *
God saved the queen *
this will happen to become one.
Do you love me?
Correct adore you It's on the shelf.
We will win if you can get there I don't want to breathe.
God saved the queen *
Tony: Dave London!
As the prince calls him, enfant is terrible...
Let's see our score.
9.9, 9.9, 9.9...
9.9, 9.9, 9.9!
No, I want that.
Tony: oh, me!
Women and men,
it's time for you're waiting
You can almost accentuate tension In this room with a comb.
Ha ha ha!
I love to present
close personal my friend
and the free form champion hair stylist...
Stig ludwigssen!
Crawford, it's not like that using cheese
Cheese not there
I feel something is starting to harden.
That's just me, honey. I am pleased.
Because I love people,
and people love me
Because I love life, and I like life.
And sometimes other people say to me...
But not the same person. Different people,
they said to me,
"Stig, you're too good . People. You're really too good. People."
I told them, "If you can't be nice to others,
get hell out of my salon."
[Applause]
From Norway, Norway, stig ludwigssen,
with New Zealand itself Kylie bax...
And his creation, "Boat Odin."
* Continue and continue and continue *
* we are champions *
* my friend * * and we will Continue to struggle *
* to the end *
* we are champions *
can I hold that for you Hairdryer!
Come on, come on!
Large.
Where is my wire cutter?
Don't use your pants in a twist
Who has a solder?
Don't move
Hairdryer?
That's it! Done!
* we are champions *
* there is no time... *
Tony: Ludwigssen stig, women and men.
The reigning world champion!
Amazing!
Let's see the value.
10, 10, 10...
10, 10, 10!
Yes! Yes!
All I can say is that's what I expected
Maybe someday, you never know.
You should win. Very.
Maybe someday, you never know.
Unfortunately, we are Scottish competitors Crawford MacKenzie
is like a late entry, we can't film for him.
But I think we have something that is very exciting
Maybe it's better.
With the model, Veronica webb,
Crawford MacKenzie's "Scottish Flowers."
[Bagpipe playing]
Bravo!
Tony: oh, me!
This happens is difficult indeed.
Judge, you have to make your decision right now
As we see on the scoreboard...
Señora, we have to ask for your voice 11, John Paul Mitchell...
Elois, 11...
11! giuseppe Franco, 11!
Titch Jones, 11!
What a competition!
Looks like we have a new world champion!
Platinum scissors
would belong to MacKenzie Crawford!
We win!
[Singing] Crawford! Crawford!
If you are looking for representation, contact me
Crawford! Crawford! Crawford!
Thank you for everything.
Tony: _ women and men,
We have a new hairdo world champion...
Crawford MacKenzie!
I know that.
I know that all this time.
I'm very proud. Candy.
You hate this, no?
No no. What will I say if this is you, OK?
We have hair competition, or whether it shows a toy?
That's the problem.
I have to go now. Turn off.
Thank you.
Crawford: I feel sorry for for the ludwigssen stig
To go from to top Norwegian
for others Scandinavian hairdressers
definitely beautiful peanuts are hard to swallow.
When I look back as a whole now,
I feel I am an adult,
both spiritually and as a hairdresser.
Is it difficult to leave? California?
No. it's like Scotland
with palm trees and better dental care.
I want to go home.
I want to see my friends.
And do you know what? I really want curry.
Surprising! surprise!
Welcome back, Mr. MacKenzie.
Thank you!
It's done well!
Welcome home, son.
Scotland is proud of you I'm proud of from Scotland
[Laughter]
Let's party!
[cheering]
[Sighs] it's him.
Now...
Who is the haircut?
* all the leaves are brown *
* and the sky is gray *
* and the sky is gray
* I've traveled *
* on winter days *
* in winter days *
* I will be safe and warm *
* safe and warm *
* if I am on L.A. *
* California dreamin '*
* on a winter day like that *
* stop being a church *
* I passed the road *
Alright, I'm going down kneeling *
* on my knee *
* and I pretended to pray *
* pretending to pray *
You know, the preacher likes to be cold *
* likes cold *
* he knows I'll stay *
* know I'll stay *
* California dreamin '*
* on a winter day like that *
[repeating] * California *
* all the leaves are brown *
* and the sky is gray *
* and the sky is gray
* I've traveled *
* for sightseeing *
* on winter days *
* if I don't tell him *
* if I don't Tell him *
* I can go today *
* California dreamin '*
* on a winter day like that *
* California dreamin '*
* on a winter day like that *
* California dreamin '*
* on a winter day like that *
* on a cold winter day *