We got one patient ready to come up.
Just step that way to the
dispense room.
How's it going?
Good, how you doing?
Welcome to the health center.
Thanks.
Nice to be here.
So, like, how would I even begin
to decide which kind to choose?
It depends on your level of
tolerance.
If you're a first-time patient,
you've never tried it before,
you might want to go with
something a little bit lighter.
It'll give you more of a body high.
Just a little something to give
you the feel of how it's gonna be.
The purples are more, like, if
you have problems sleeping and
back pains at night, you're real
uncomfortable -the purples
will put you to sleep.
The real strong, more potent ones.
They're the more potent ones.
So the 45 automates -those are
the ones that you know you're
gonna get the feeling of it.
I feel high just thinking
about all this.
I'm gonna bring out your next
comic now.
He's very funny.
He's been on VH1.
Let's give it up for
Mr. Doug Benson.
[Cheers and applause]
I saw that movie
"Super Size Me" when I was high.
Mistake!
That is fucked up, you know?
'Cause the premise of that movie
is that it's bad to eat a lot of
McDonald's, and I'm sitting
there all high, like, thinking,
"oh, I could go for a hot apple
or a frenchie at this point.
Hook me up, man."
And he's just gorging it all on
himself, and then throwing up,
and -ugh, it's disgusting,
that movie.
If that's a movie -if eating
McDonald's for 30 days is a
movie and people are willing to
pay to see it, I've got a movie.
I'm gonna smoke pot every day
for 30 days, try to remember to
film it, and my movie's gonna be
called "Super High Me" -or
"Business As Usual," I haven't
decided yet on the title.
So that started out as a joke in
my act, and then a filmmaker --
I'm using the term loosely --
saw me say that, and we had a
discussion, and we're really
fucking doing it.
Doug Benson -stand-up
comedian, noted pot smoker.
In fact, high times magazine
recently named Doug the
number-two pot comic in the
country, but that doesn't put
Doug Benson above the law.
So how can this be possible?
In 1996, the citizens of
California passed
proposition 215, which allows
patients to use cannabis for
medical purposes if they get a
recommendation from their doctor.
Common uses for medical cannabis
include chronic pain, HIV/AIDS,
depression, nausea, or a medical
condition your doctor thinks is appropriate.
Keep in mind the effects of
marijuana vary with every user.
This is the story of just one
patient, and despite years of
marijuana use, even the
number-two pot comic in the
country has no idea what's going
to happen when he gets super high.
I'm not getting high every
day for 30 days yet because
there's a catch.
I have to not get high for 30
days before getting high for 30
days to show how awful it is
when I can't get high at all to
contrast with how awesome the
next 30 days are gonna be, so I
have to not smoke for 30 days,
and that's gonna start at the
beginning of August.
# Yeah #
[bell dings]
# Yo #
# I should be sleeping all the
way still #
# rolling with the beat and
this, that, them, there #
# couldn't help but stay up
and jot down some stuff #
so how do you feel first day?
So far, so good.
Boy, that hat made me want to
smoke pot.
Everything reminds me of pot now
that I can't have it.
Traffic lights...
[chuckles]
...when they're green.
[Bell dings]
I may be hospitalized, I think.
Really?
I think so.
Are you saying that to be
funny, or do you really believe that?
I really believe that.
Why do you believe you'll be
hospitalized?
It's gonna be nasty, smoking
all day, every day, for 30 days.
I've never smoked --
lot of pot, but I've never,
like, day and night for every
day for 30 days.
So I'm a little scared.
But how awesome would it be if
it fucking killed me?
[Audience laughs]
That Spurlock movie would be the
best movie ever made if he just
died at one point during it.
Fucking grizzly-man style.
Supposedly, your depression
is going to kick in today, if
it's going to kick in, so they
said take this test.
Right, but the only answer I
can give is "rarely."
No, but you would examine --
'cause it's only been one day.
That's okay.
It's how you felt over the past
week, even though you were smoking.
Now we're gonna go, and we're
gonna take the same test in
another week, and that'll be
when you're not smoking.
I just don't -I'm bored
with this one.
'Cause I spent the last week
some days smoking, some days
not, and I barely remember what happened.
So this is day two, and I'm doing great.
So far, it's fucking not a problem.
I can totally not smoke pot for
two days.
I'm just writing "rarely" on
every one of these.
That's taking it real seriously.
Well, I can't even begin -I
spent the weekend getting
fucking crazy high all weekend.
I can't remember --
Well, did you feel fearful at
all during the last seven days?
I don't remember!
Maybe, like if I saw a cop
coming or something.
I don't know.
Did you have any crying spells.
No.
Okay.
Did you feel hopeful about the future?
I might have.
These are mostly feelings that I
don't have ever.
Over the course of the two
30-day periods, we're gonna do
lots of tests, like IQ Tests
and lung capacity and just a
bunch of tests, and one of them
is gonna be -they're gonna
check my sperm count, and by
"they," I mean I'm hoping it's a
doctor, and...
[laughs]
I hope it's just not a guy with
a lot of plastic cups that he's
not using.
They're gonna check my sperm
count, and so my first sperm
check is coming up in three
days, on Thursday, and the thing
about getting your sperm checked
is you can't masturbate or
ejaculate into a lady for -or
whatever your thing is -for
three days.
Three days, and it started
today, so I'm, like, so much
more upset that I can't
masturbate for three days than I
can't smoke pot for 30, because
I'm not looking at pot on the
internet every day.
It was almost as funny as
when you're high.
I could tell, but they couldn't.
Untrained eye couldn't tell, but
I could tell.
It was still good, though.
Well, I'm glad you still
liked it.
The prohibition against
marijuana began in 1937.
Since then, in order to obtain
your medicine, you had to visit
"a guy," but with the passing of
Proposition 215, California
citizens are allowed to open up
retail shops known as
dispensaries to legally sell
cannabis to qualified patients.
To repeat that for the stoners
showing up late, in California,
you can legally buy pot in a
store like you're buying beer or cookies.
# Da da da da da da da dum
dum dum #
right now, it's just a
free-for-all.
It's the wild west?
Wild, wild west.
And I'm Jesse James, I guess,
right now.
It's really stressful, me being
in this for about a year now.
Man, when I started, there was,
like, four of us.
First-time patient?
Come on in.
Yeah, come on in.
Hey, how's it going, chief?
Can I get your i.d.?
Yes, sir.
[Singing indistinctly]
What are you looking for?
Sativa?
Hybrid.
Hybrid?
Any codominant?
What you got?
This a pain type of thing, or
you just want the head to be up?
These are two jokes that I've
written since I stopped getting
high three days ago.
Just to show you where I'm at.
And how important marijuana is
to what I do.
"Why isn't there a
mildew-removal product called
'mill-don't'?
[Laughter]
See, that's not too bad.
I haven't lost it.
[Laughs]
And here's the other one.
The new slogan for old navy --
have you seen the new
commercials?
It's no longer, like, old TV
stars being stupid.
Now it's trying to be hip and
cool and matrixy, and the slogan
is "get your fash on."
You know, "get your fash on!
Get your fash on!"
Which was probably -I was
thinking it was probably a
rejected slogan for fascism.
When they were sitting around
coming up with slogans for
fascism to try to get it off the
ground, somebody's like, "how
about 'get your fash on'?"
"Get out of here.
That's stupid.
We've decided to go with
"fascism -watch what happens."
There's a lot of people who
smoke a lot of pot and have had
quite a lot of success.
I don't think one precludes the other.
Just a different path, as they say.
What's your opinion about
medical marijuana?
I'm just curious.
You're just curious what's my
opinion about medical marijuana?
Well, there is no such thing as
medical marijuana.
In the '70s, the National
Organization for the Reform of
Marijuana Laws failed in their
attempts to legalize marijuana
for recreational purposes, much
to my chagrin in college,
because I did smoke, I did
inhale, and I ate brownies.
So then, what they did was very
intelligently -they rewrapped
their argument.
They repackaged it as a medical
argument because cannabinoids,
like THC and other stuff -they
do have some value medically,
but not at all what the
activists are saying they have.
Right.
When I wear my hat as a
private citizen, I think our war
on drugs has completely failed,
that marijuana should be legal
for recreational purposes, and
that's my private-citizen hat,
but when you come to me and I'm
wearing my little tie and
stethoscope and playing doctor
here, do I ever ask a patient to
inhale the crude combustion
products of a dried plant that I
have no idea what else is in it,
and I don't know what strength
you're getting -is it good shit?
Is it bad shit?
Is it stuff that you grew on
your own, you got from Mexico,
or did you get b.c. Bud from
Colombia?
What's in it?
Okay, go ahead -blow.
[Air hisses]
Keep going, keep going, even
though you think there's nothing there.
Okay, that's Fin relax.
I need you to turn your head
toward either wall, doesn't
matter which.
Give me a nice hard cough.
[Coughs]
Beautiful.
What's the turn the head to
the side part about?
So you don't get coughed on?
Yeah, exactly.
I'm gonna grab your balls,
and I want you to cough in my face.
[Laughs]
So, you know, to cut to the
chase, you have not, after
years of doing this, you haven't
done any permanent damage that I
can tell.
[Bell dings]
Good morning.
Hi.
I have your date.
I have your test.
Ha ha, cheers!
# She's like my alcohol #
# I like the way that it's
killing me, killing me #
[bell dings]
Hey, good morning.
How are you?
Good, thank you.
Doug?
Pleasure to meet you.
Come on back.
Well, so you're doing this film,
and you've stopped using both
alcohol and pot.
I was wondering -what do you
like about pot?
What does it do for you when you smoke?
Um...
it just...
the simplest explanation I can
give is it just makes everything
more fun, you know?
It just makes...makes my brain
work differently, you know?
Yeah, it seems like it strangely
gives me a longer attention span.
So, yeah.
So it's been six days, and...
and I'm doing okay.
I don't think it's as addictive
as some people think.
Like, I only think about smoking
pot constantly.
That's the only time I think
about it.
[Bell dings]
I'm starting to learn --
making this movie is forcing me
to learn to actually be
interested in people and ask a
question after they answer the
first question.
Well, isn't it mostly people
asking you questions?
Well, we go around.
We've been spending a lot of
time in dispensaries with people
that are advocates for pot,
which I normally am not that
interested in.
I just want to smoke it, so...
welcome to the
Benson interruption, everybody.
But I also have not had a
drink in over a month, and that is --
[audience groans]
Fuck it, you don't have to tell me.
It's the worst!
Somebody in the audience when
you said that you stopped
drinking actually said, "oh, he
loves to drink."
[Laughter]
She was really concerned that
you were going through this.
It's true, and I want you to
understand that is a fucking sacrifice.
Like, that is what I'm giving
up, because the smoking -it's
not a sacrifice because I've
never said, "oh, I used to have
so many awesome times with my
friends smoking."
[Laughs]
Remember that party, when we
had cigarettes?
Remember that time?
Oh, we had too many
cigarettes that night!
I can't remember what happened!
I smoked so much.
Oh.
Boy, we had such a great time.
Yeah, I'm gonna unwind with some friends.
We're gonna, like, get a couple
packs of cigarettes and probably
just...go out on the porch.
[Bell dings]
So we're driving out to the
valley to find out about --
apparently, in north Hollywood,
there's a rogue cop who shows up
at dispensaries and shuts them down.
What's happening right now up
in North Hollywood is that we
have a local police officer who
is confused and perhaps hostile
to medical cannabis, and he has
sort of set about, at his
mission, to close the
dispensaries, and that's
unfortunate, because what we're
seeing now is sort of a
breakdown in due process.
I'm just curious about what a
rogue cop is, you know?
Is it just one guy who just puts
his uniform on at home and looks
in the mirror and says, "be
careful out there," and goes
around shutting things down?
Do you think a rogue cop's gonna
show up while we're in there?
No.
This is Don Duncan.
Hey, how you doing?
This is Doug Benson.
He's the hero of our movie.
So to speak.
It looks like this
Mr. Smith just went renegade, man.
You know, I'm a real thing.
This is a real business license.
This is what we do.
And, of course, the first two
months, they thought that,
"okay, black dude's about to
come here and open up a dope shop."
I could feel it, okay?
But when it didn't turn out to
be that -"oh, actually, this
guy's an ex-scientist and
master's degree, blah, blah,
blah, and he's not turning into
this, and actually, it's pretty
damn good 'cause we got a free
security guard that patrols both
parking lots."
Then I was cool.
Then six months passed --
everything's cool.
People think that medicinal
cannabis, when you use that
word, you're just talking about
straight marijuana.
Half of the patients that come
through here can't smoke because
they're in here for some
smoke-related type of deal, so I
have all types of pills, and
this is lip balm, man.
This is chapstick.
It does the job.
It works?
I have an older gentleman who
swears by this topical spray.
You put it in, boom, you spray
it on, and it actually works.
There's a lot of different ways
of getting THC into your system,
and it's not all about smoking.
Driving to Sacramento, Doug
refuses to sit in the passenger seat.
Sits behind me.
This will all be verified.
It's called "Miss Daisy" style.
He goes -I say, "just don't
fire up in my car.
If you want to, we'll weed it.
We'll pull over and we'll bzzz,
you know," and we drive up to
Sacramento, but stoners are all
like 4-year-olds, and I see him
back there, and he starts firing it up.
And I'm like, "I can see you
through the rearview mirror,"
but stoners are, like I said,
4-year-olds, so he's like, "hee hee!
No one can see me!"
Fucking idiot!
And I'm like, "I smell fire and
smoke and marijuana and
everything," and he's like,
"I'll blow it out the window."
So he rolls down the window and
blows it out.
Now, bear in mind, we're on the
5 going 80, so he blows it out, and -[gasps]
It all comes fucking pouring
back in.
I'm like, "you goddamned dumb
stoner," and he's like, "sorry,
it was almost 4:20," or whatever
he's fucking...
My mom called me today and
left me a message saying she
lost or broke her glasses so she
needs new glasses, so that's the
main reason why I want to go to
the post office today -'cause
I feel bad that she's sitting
around without glasses until she
gets a check from me.
You help her out financially?
Yeah, I pay for pretty much everything.
See, that's the thing.
I'm very torn.
I said I was gonna do your
documentary, but here I am.
I'm very torn about pot, because
I honestly wish I could smoke
pot twice a year.
I'm serious.
Why can't you do it twice a year?
I don't know.
I got two kids.
I don't have access to it.
Every time I think about buying
some, I'm like, "how? What?"
The last time you did my show
at UCB, you started talking
about how ridiculous it is for a
grown man to still be smoking
pot and still be --
I don't remember.
Yeah, you were like, "come
on, it's time to grow up."
Well...
See, yeah.
See, you still feel that way.
Well, what do you want?
Look at you.
It's sad.
I don't think you actually smoke
pot.
I think you smoke oregano.
Yeah.
No.
Look at me, I'm on day 10 of
not smoking, and I'm fine.
You feel great?
Well, no, I don't feel great.
I'd still like to do it.
Really?
Would you?
Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna.
You're gonna do it soon, and
you're gonna do it every day.
I'm gonna do it a lot.
Then I might not like it
anymore after that.
No, I think you won't like it
after a few days.
People say pot smokers are lazy.
I disagree.
I'm a multitasking pot smoker.
Yeah, just the other day, I was
walking down the street.
That's one.
Stoned -two things at once.
Mother-f'ers.
All right, I'll take that second one back.
I was walking down the street, I
was putting eyedrops in my eyes,
I was talking on my cellphone,
and I was getting hit by a car.
# Making shit happen on
Santa Monica Boulevard #
it's so fucking weird when
people are just standing right
in front of you while you're
doing comedy.
They're just standing there like
this -"yeah, I heard you.
Good one."
Never had people just standing
there.
"What's next?"
Any pot smokers here tonight in the house?
Always in the shitty seats
'cause they got here late.
[Laughs]
First of all, dude,
congratulations on getting out
of the house or hotel room.
You did it, man.
Congratulations.
Bravo.
'Cause I know what it's like.
You're like, "let's go to the comedy show.
Fuck it, we got a TV right
here."
I was in a show called "the
marijuana logs."
For those of you who don't know
what that is, it's like
"the vagina monologues," but
with pot instead of vaginas.
Sometimes people are offended.
They come up to me and they're
like, [high-pitched voice]
"Are you making fun of vaginas?
Do you have a problem with vaginas?"
[Normal voice] I'm like, "no,
I have a problem with your weird
voice, but we love vaginas at
the 'marijuana logs.'
We want vaginas in the seats.
Especially vaginas that smoke marijuana."
Which I saw once in Indonesia.
Mm-hmm.
Cost me $6 and a chicken.
And a lifetime of regret 'cause
I can't get that image out of my head.
Plus, she wouldn't pass the shit.
That is rude.
That is rude to Bogart a joint
with your vagina.
Don't do it, fellas.
It's like my two favorite things
keeping me from enjoying my two
favorite things.
'Cause you can't have sex with a
vagina that has fire in it, and
you can't smoke that joint
through her asshole.
Oh, did you see the sign outside?
It says, "adult material will be covered."
Ame is Doug Benson, and I'm
about to get super high.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Wow, I think I found the perfect
place to fart.
I think pot's illegal there --
over there -but it's legal
over there, that way.
I think.
Or maybe the other way around.
Yeah, pot is legal over that
way and illegal that way.
Pretty sure.
I went on the -what do you
call it today?
The parasailing over the lake --
Lake Tahoe.
That was sweet.
If you guys get a chance to do
it, go for it.
I don't have any jokes about it yet.
Soon as I brought it up, I was
like, "why the fuck are you
talking about this?
You have nothing funny to say
about it other than promoting
the activity," 'cause it was
really good.
[Laughs]
Well, I was up --
I was up there, like, 1,200
feet, going, "man, I should've
fucking smoked a bowl before
doing this," 'cause smoking pot
makes everything more fun.
[Airplane engines whine]
[Bell dings]
So are you ready?
Mm-hmm.
You got 25 minutes.
Begin.
[Bell dings]
[Rock music plays]
Think you're funnier when
you're sober?
I swear, nothing's changed.
Really?
Other than I'm having a
little less fun.
Doug Benson smokes so much
pot he buys his rolling paper
at Costco.
He looks brighter and
shinier, I think.
Glowing.
Yeah, you're glowing.
Well, that's 'cause of the baby.
He's either sober or pregnant.
That's because I'm pregnant.
[Laughs]
Every day is a joy, now that
my baby's coming.
I recently saw a dog in a cage,
and -hang on, there's more --
and the cage had a sign on it
that said, "I bite."
And I was like, "that is good to
know, doggy.
But that's not the most
important thing about you.
You should make a sign that says
'I make signs.'
So, I'm gonna test your
memory, and I want you to say
these words back to me after I
say all three.
It's three words.
Boat, cucumber, wire.
Boat, cucumber, wire?
You just have to say them
back to me.
I like to put a question mark
at the end.
There, yeah.
You can always put a question
mark at the end of anything you like.
Now, I'm gonna show you certain things.
I want you to actually name them.
What do you call this thing?
Fancy.
Watch.
What do you call this thing?
A pen?
All right.
I can't wait to take this
when I'm high.
Now, remember those three
words I told you before?
[Gasps]
See, I knew it!
It was only three words.
I know.
Boat and cucumber.
Okay, there was a third word.
I know.
Boat, cucumber...
I don't know the third one. Right, you got three.
It was wire.
Wire!
Okay, no wonder.
Repeat this after me, graham.
Boat, cucumber, wire.
All right, you're good, too.
I'm good?
I'm not a stoner.
Your lungs got better.
How much better?
3% in 23 days.
So I'm at 93%?
You're about 92%, which is
actually -that's not insubstantial.
I can't tell you if it's
statistically significant, but
it's not insignificant.
See, that memory test -I
knew I was 89% from three weeks ago.
So what three words did he tell you?
Told me...wire, bacon, and
some other one.
[Laughs]
He did worse than I did!
And he doesn't smoke pot ever!
[Bell dings]
Jim.
Oh, hey, Jim.
I was hoping that was you, but
I'm not psychic.
We'll find out, won't we?
We'll find out how psychic I am.
I have the exact same deck over there.
We're gonna flip a card up, and
you're gonna guess which one of
the cards we're flipping up,
and, to my knowledge, there has
never been a test done before
which compares psychic ability
before and after the influence
of marijuana.
It's groundbreaking, yeah.
It's groundbreaking research.
First card -everybody see the first card?
And, Doug, what is your guess?
Triangle.
First guess is "triangle."
What's your guess?
Circle.
"Circle" is the guess.
So that's it.
We only got one?
Is that right?
The whole time?
One hit out of 25 -wow.
So you're negative psychic.
You're spectacularly not
psychic.
Spectacularly un-psychic.
Yeah.
What allegedly has happened
is that a D.E.A. Agent tried to
get in without his proper
credentials, and the security
guard did what he's paid to do,
which is to say, "no, I don't think so.
It was led by John Smith again.
The same guy who's been told to
stop doing this.
Until City Council reconvenes
and we put together an
ordinance, he feels he's Rambo
again, and thing you know,
NBC showed up, KTLA showed up.
The D.E.A. Is still inside.
There you go, there you go,
there he is!
The great John Smith.
[Jeering, booing]
This is California, baby!
We voted this in!
You're not welcome, and we ain't
going anywhere!
Together: D.e.a., go away!
D.E.A., go away!
You hit him!
Yo, I saw it!
I saw that!
[Indistinct shouting]
John "Scumbag" Smith, come on down!
[Indistinct shouting]
Yeah!
You want to call the real
police?
You didn't expect this!
We have no department
employees involved in this.
Are they really D.E.A.?
They're real D.E.A. Officers.
Agents, yes.
And John Smith's not up there?
We have no Department
employees involved in this incident.
So John Smith's not in it?
No.
And he's not up there, either?
As of right now, no.
Are you saying John Smith isn't up there?
I know John Smith, Officer Smith.
He's not there.
Doesn't the police or any
law-enforcement official that
wants to invade our space have
to have a warrant to do so?
I'm not gonna comment on
that.
You won't comment on whether
or not they have a warrant?
I'm not gonna comment on that.
Officer, will you be leaving officers here?
Yes.
If they don't have a warrant,
then they shouldn't be there.
Okay.
This has been going on its
ninth hour.
Word is that the D.E.A.'s
locksmiths that were here that
we ran away are gonna probably
be coming back.
The issues that they're having
is they need to get into the
safe, apparently, that's
upstairs, and we also have word
that, yeah, they do have a
search warrant, but guess what?
There's no signature on it.
Who signed the warrant?
What judge signed the warrant?
We have the right to know!
This is why we waited all
night, because we knew this was
gonna happen!
But that's okay!
We have it on film!
Go bust a meth lab, you pussies!
Go up the street and do your
job, man.
Their job is not to save California.
Their job is to get the hell out
of the state of California.
Yep.
So isn't marijuana legal in
California?
Well, it is, but the law is not
recognized by the federal government.
To explain, the 10th Amendment
of the Bill of Rights says that
states have the right to govern
themselves with regard to powers
not granted or prohibited by the
constitution.
In the last century, many issues
have challenged this amendment,
including abortion, gay
marriage, and gambling.
As of today, federal antidrug
laws are in direct conflict with
laws in California and several
other states that allow patients
legal access to medical marijuana.
[Bell dings]
Bye, space needle.
So...
can I interest you in some assorted nuts?
[Clock ticking]
The whole idea was that I
would help facilitate the growth
of so much marijuana that the
D.E.A. And all the agencies of
the United States would never be
able to destroy it at the rate I
would help create it, and that,
ultimately, I -one man --
would neutralize the work of the
entire D.E.A. with their
multibillion-dollar budget.
He calls himself "the prince
of pot," but he may become "the
prince of federal prison."
I was watching "60 minutes,"
and there's a whole story about
Marc Emery.
The prince of pot.
Yeah, and how they want to
extradite him and all that.
I would love to interview that guy.
See, 'cause I have this idea
that none of this is any good
unless you have to face temptation.
I'm just saying there's no
virtue without temptation.
So I'll just make sure.
I still get to smell it.
That's one thing.
Well, you see, even that's
giving into a little bit of it
right there, eh, so I'm
corrupting you just by being in
the proximity.
Just to let you know, I've seen
more grow rooms than anybody
else alive in Canada -I think
400 or so -and been arrested
22 times, jailed 17 times,
raided 6 times, all for pot.
Nothing unsavory.
You know, I, if anything, have a
good reason never to have to use
drugs, and typically, I only
experiment with the psychedelics
once every six months or a year
and smoke pot, and I don't
believe I have any drug
dependencies, and having treated
drug addicts, I can see what --
do you know what?
Of the 65 people I treated, 60
of them did not have their
biological father in their life
for all or part of their
childhood, and that, I found,
was the most key, fundamental
component of every single drug
addict is that their biological
father was not there for a lot
of their prepubescent life.
I found that pot made me more patient.
Made me a more creative lover
and a creative writer.
But if you smoke pot, you get
more expansive.
Explanations get longer.
We paid for the supreme-court
challenge in Canada.
They got the springboard to try
and make pot legal.
We lost 6 to 3.
Everybody wants to fuck.
As soon as you discover it --
let me drink your thing.
Don't worry, my cold sores
aren't contagious.
The thing about pot --
I remember when I shot a puck
through a window --
I found that it was a lot easier
to raise kids after a joint.
A lot of people live in inner cities.
We should enrich our community
with more money, more weed, more everything.
Are you in the performance industry?
Yeah, I'm a stand-up comedian.
Holy crap, I feel like I went
through some sort of...
marijuana gauntlet.
We got to find them.
How can you be doing a
documentary -how can you do a
documentary on pot and not -I
know he's not smoking it, but
how can it not be around?
The UCB guys have it.
Go find them.
I'm not talking to that cult.
I'll call Walsh.
Huebel's probably got some.
And this dude in the bushes has got some.
That guy's got hella weed.
He's totally smoking or he's
making a cellphone call.
I am a friend of
Doug Benson's, and I've never
smoked pot in my life.
Really?
By design?
Just never did it.
Never -I've been drunk once -- seventh grade.
But I've been taking
antidepressants for 12 years.
So I do have a lid on it.
Oh, and I've killed six hookers.
Yeah.
I'm not saying I'm a saint.
We all self-medicate.
You know what else is a treat?
Cookies made by Famous Amos.
[Laughter]
Have you guys had those,
Famous Amos cookies?
Oh, my god. They're delicious.
So good.
When I was a little kid, we
couldn't afford those.
That's right.
We had to eat the knockoff brand.
We had to eat cookies made by heinous anus.
[Laughter]
I'll tell you what, I didn't care.
I didn't give a damn.
Even though I was 5 years old, I ate them up.
[Munches]
One after the other.
'Cause everything tastes great
when you're stoned.
Let me ask you guys...
[laughter]
...a quick question.
Are there any pot smokers here today?
Any pot smokers at all?
[Cheers]
Hey, your last hours of --
how urgent -how...
I don't feel any urgency at all.
So, does that beg the
question that maybe your whole
existence is a mistake?
Yeah, it's a lie.
Shut up!
Shut up. It's my toast.
Anyway, Doug Benson...
Yes.
To many more years of sobriety.
No, I'm gonna start smoking tomorrow.
Okay, well, that's cool.
[Heartbeat thumping]
[Fanfare plays]
We've got the volcano.
We're ready for me to medicate,
start this thing, but I noticed
it's 4:00 and I thought, "we got
to start at 4:20."
I got to take my first hit at 4:20.
But that's how I am.
I'm excited about getting high,
but I can wait until the cooler
time to do it.
You said this thing was easy.
Okay, so, what you do is you
put your herbs, whether that be
lavender or rosewood -whatever
you're using as an aromatic --
place it here in the grinder.
You grind your plant mater-- shit.
Sweet lord.
Oh, my god.
This isn't happening.
So, you grind your plant material.
Right.
You don't spill it.
Jesus!
Alex.
Good lord.
This is my weed all over the floor now.
Now I'm gonna be smoking the dust.
We're not gonna put that in
the --
that's like an old roach on the ground.
One, two, three.
[Device hums]
Man, you should go on
"Martha Stewart" and do this.
Go ahead.
Knock more shit on the floor tough.
It's all set to go.
All right.
I don't know if I'm gonna be
able to do all that.
I might just resort to smoking it.
I'm telling you, I think is
so much better for you than smoking it.
I know it's much better for
me, but a pain in the ass.
Push in on it.
That's a huge rip.
# Like I never did before #
right?
# Let me love you
like I never did before #
# let me love you
no-o-o-w #
# let me hold you
like I never did before #
# and you won't be afraid when I
call your name #
# let me love you... #
I like it!
I like all the -wait, I was
just about to talk about
something I don't like.
You fucked me up.
You're like, "these are the
droids you're looking for."
I'm like, "I like it now.
I like anti-pot ads."
That doesn't make any sense at
all.
I hate them.
Hate anti-pot ads 'cause they
come on late at night when I'm
sitting at home trying to relax,
smoke a joint, watch some
televised entertainment.
Suddenly a commercial comes on
with a big, heavy message like,
"just tell grandma that you
couldn't pick her up because you got high."
I'm watching that, I'm thinking, "good idea."
[Laughter]
I've been lying to grandma for
years about my pot-smoking problem.
Now I can finally tell her the truth.
Call her up, "grandma, I can't
pick you up.
I've been using my new
vaporizer."
[Laughter]
Wow!
This is from the health center.
I don't know this.
Do I do this?
No, just hit it.
I just suck -just stream it in.
Exactly.
It's ready.
Drag it.
It's good. U taste it more.
Yeah, yeah.
It's definitely got a taste.
You know what?
I had a vaporizer for like a
day, and I left it at
Adam Carolla's house.
You're burning all the THC
and none of the carcinomas.
It's health nut -it's like vegan...
It's like California --
Oh, Doug!
Sorry.
I'm not your cat.
I don't have a cat.
[Guitar strumming]
[Bell dings]
[Exhales sharply]
Ooh!
You excited that this place has
reopened?
Well, I think it's only fair.
My practice is focused on
criminal defense, so it's
unfortunate that you use the
word "criminal defense" in the
same sentence as dealing with
patients because they've
criminalized this.
They have to basically start
from scratch again.
Their computers were all taken away.
All their patient records were taken away.
They had to get everything together.
The product was taken.
And how are they able to
reopen?
What had to happen for them to
get to this point?
They're abiding by the laws here.
There's a state law in place here.
They're not committing any kind
of crimes here.
Could I get a gram of the
platinum O.G. Kush?
Maybe a kushbar and a
Maui Wowie.
A chocolate peanut-butter
sandwich, a kushbar, and a
Maui Wowie.
Cucumber, wire, boat.
[Bell dings]
Well, hello, Doug.
Hello.
So, today is your first week
of being back on pot.
So, how are you doing?
Um...great.
[Laughs]
It's kind of, uh, a little bit
back to normal.
It seems like it's fairly
important for you to communicate
to me that marijuana doesn't
change you very much.
You really want me to hear that
Yeah, it probably sounds
defensive, too, a little bit,
like, "yeah, I'm the same guy
either way."
Would you mind if I smoked
pot before our sessions?
Really?
I'm just asking how you would
feel if I were to do it.
I guess it would depend on
how it changes you.
Who knows, you might seem more
interested in me if you were
high, which would make me like it more.
I don't know.
I was wondering how much you
felt I was interested in you as it is.
[Laughs]
You seem interested enough, but
that's the thing about it is
that's your job is to seem interested.
This is why I wouldn't ever pay
a therapist 'cause they fucking
make you go crazy.
[Laughter]
He says to me, "would you like
it if I smoked pot sometime
before our session?"
And then, when you start that
kind of conversation with a
therapist, it just becomes him
going, "well, do you want me to
think that you think that I want
you to be high while I'm high doing it?"
It gets very convoluted, and I
was already fucking high.
And I'm pretty sure that he wasn't.
[Bell dings]
But here's the thing -I find
this place that's like right
next to my home, and they're
doing it on religion.
They're distributing pot as a
religious movement.
So you don't even need a license.
You just go in and buy it.
Okay, got to be serious.
This is church.
It's time for church.
And in revelation, it talks
about a plant for the healing of
all nations, which cannabis is.
So we're selling weed for the
lord on Hollywood Boulevard.
All right, welcome to temple 420
services today.
Everyone, Doug Benson was on
"last comic standing," and we
invited him to come the other
evening to our comedy, but he
wasn't sure because he doesn't
fully believe in god.
So, he's here to come to the
services and check out
temple 420, our 4:20 services.
He said it so
matter-of-factly.
"And he doesn't believe
so, everybody, there's gonna be
punch and..."
there will be punch.
Do the atheists get punch?
The atheist gets punch, too,
right in the face with the truth.
[Laughs]
You've never been to our temple be
we'll just let you know, we're a
Judeo-Christian temple.
You happen to be on Saturday, so
we have the old testament Jewy
thing going on.
You come back tomorrow, we got
the new testament, all right?
So, feel free to come back any
day.
Services are always at 4:20.
I'd like to tell you a joke
'cause I don't think any of the
material up here today has been
aimed at you specifically, but I
think you'd really enjoy this joke.
Why did the little strawberry cry?
Because his mother was in a jam.
Me on!
And then they put weed in it,
and everybody got really high.
So, anyway, um...
Saturday and Sunday at 4:20, right?
And we went today, and I brought
like three or four friends.
And then there were some
children running around and a
couple other dudes.
And there was a whole service
built around why, you know,
since the lord is good and we
love the lord -weed.
[Bell dings]
[Alarm clock beeping]
# Sober #
# I don't know which way to go #
# I'm feeling older #
# a different town, another
show #
that's real nice.
That's real good.
I already see a star is gonna be
the first one.
I'm already feeling it.
And, Doug, what's your guess?
I'm gonna guess star.
First guess is star.
Second card. Holding it up.
I'm gonna guess square.
Square.
Third guess. Hold it up.
Uh...triangle.
Fourth guess. Hold it up.
Circle.
Seven right this time.
The first time, you got one
right, so you've done seven times better.
However, since you only got
seven out of 25, there's no
evidence of psychic ability.
[Bell dings]
How about medical
prostitution?
'Cause that's something that I
would be interested in.
I don't smoke pot, and I'll join
your fight if you'll join mine.
Yeah, I'll join your fight.
That's an awesome fight.
We're gonna fight prostitutes?
I'm having trouble following this.
I smoke a lot of pot.
Medical prostitution.
I realize prostitution is
illegal, but I need it for
medical purposes.
I think marijuana is a much,
much, much more victimless crime
than prostitution 'cause
unfortunately the women that do
the prostituting got there
somehow that was probably terrible.
And you should talk to the
guy that you have to know to get
the prostitute, too.
That guy is way worse than your guy.
My guy is never -I've never
had a dealer slap me around.
Not yet.
And tell me to wait in the car.
[Bell dings]
Welcome to Minneapolis.
Thanks.
What's the proper way to address
you -Senator?
That or John.
I don't care.
Whatever you wish.
[Laughs]
Senator John.
I believe you're the first
politician that's been willing
to speak on camera about this subject.
I was coauthor of several
medical-marijuana bills just
because I had seen and talked to
enough people who were using it
for medical purposes.
But, you know, I'm probably a
perfect example of one who never
tried a cigarette, never smoked
a joint, hasn't done so, and
don't intend to do so.
And I just think that the idea
that government is gonna step in
there and tell every doctor and
patient, no matter how hard
they're hurting, that we're not
gonna let you do this because we
have this other fear that's
nothing related to what you're doing.
If you talk with somebody
suffering, you know this makes a difference.
I don't care what fear you have.
It seems to me that you got to
try and do the right thing.
People that need marijuana,
they're not doing it because
it's fun, it's enjoyable, and
it's exciting.
It's something that no other
medication, whether prescribable
or not, can deliver what
marijuana does and can provide
me with the quality of life.
The first time I tried it was
when I was actually 17.
I didn't try it any earlier than that.
And I just -the first time I
went through chemotherapy was
when I was 17.
And it was actually my mom and
my best friend at the time got
me a little bag and said, "do it."
And it has helped tremendously
with anxiety, with pain, with everything.
Personally, I look at you
guys and I say you don't need
it, right?
But I'm not a doctor, okay?
If you went to a doctor and a
doctor has sat down with you and
he's willing to put his license
on the line to say that you guys
need it, nobody else can tell
you whether you need it or not
just because you don't look like
you need it.
The only reason people accept me
for using it is 'cause they see
me in a chair.
Exhibit "a."
Exhibit "b."
Exhibit "c."
# No more will I be afraid #
there's a commercial on now
that's the absolute worst one,
where a young teenage lady --
girl -is melting into a couch.
She's physically melting.
Have you seen it?
Her body is transforming.
She's like, "brraaah."
She's melting, and there's a
girl sitting next to her that
goes, "she smokes pot."
[Laughter]
"This is what she's been like
ever since she started smoking pot.
This is all we ever do."
Okay, first of all, the girl who
doesn't smoke pot -not exactly
the most fucking sparkling
personality in the world.
How much of a loser do you have
to be to be the person that's
more boring than the stoner and
has nothing better to do than
sit and watch the stoner melt
and not even fucking call 911...
[laughter]
...or even 411 to say, "I've got
some interesting information"?
[Laughs]
So, the girl's melting into the couch.
Let's pick up where we left off.
The girl's melting.
And as a pot smoker, I'm not deterred.
I'm watching that commercial
going, "how do I get ahold of
some of that weed?"
[Laughter]
"That is some amazing shit that
I would like to try.
I have been smoking the 'can't
find my keys' weed, and
somewhere in the world, there is
some 'melting into the couch'
shit that would be an incredible ride.
Plus, if I melted into the
couch, maybe I'd find my keys.
It would be a win-win
situation."
So, this is what one guy gave me
last night, this really nice fellow...
who said he heard me on the
radio yesterday morning.
And he and his girlfriend were
like, "we have to go see him."
This I got from someone else,
who does not want to be named.
And this one I got from yet a
third party who doesn't want to be named.
And we just made a blend of all
three and enjoyed it before our
day at mall of America.
Last time I was here in
beautiful Minneapolis, I went to
go get my flight out on Sunday,
and I'm walking around the terminal.
I can't find my gate, can't find my gate.
Hours go by -hours.
And then I finally realize I'm
at Mall of America.
[Laughter]
I wrote that joke today when I
was high at Mall of America.
[Bell dings]
This is the brownie portion
of the exam.
You may begin.
[Bell dings]
I'm totally gonna lose a lot
of points for not being able to
open it.
I'm not gonna sit here and not try.
[Stupidly] uh...
uh...
how have you been feeling?
What has your mood been like in
the last week?
Um, mostly good.
Would you describe your mood as euphoric?
Yeah, that's a good word for
it.
Anybody want to come up here
and get high with Doug?
Come on up.
[Cheers]
As you get high, anyone in the
audience who didn't want to come
up here and get high with Doug
can get high in the audience.
Wow.
And try to get the person
next to you high.
Here, this is already packed, so...
oh, you were gonna get her high?
I'll just get her high.
I don't give a shit.
[Laughter]
[Cheers]
No, you don't -there's no carbon.
Just do it.
"That's America," someone
yelled out.
You hear that?
America!
Yeah!
[Cheers and applause]
Thank you very much.
You're welcome very much.
You kidding me?
Okay, so...
okay, Doug's gonna get a little
more high.
[Laughter]
That was a pretty big hit there.
You may have your sensibilities
offended right now, but you are
not being made to smoke dope.
We got a pretty good ventilation system.
It's mostly going up.
Upstairs they'll be completely high.
[Laughter]
We vent right into the
apartments a
[sneezes]
I'm allergic to weed.
[Laughter]
The idea of the piece is that
myself and Rob Riggle are
undercover officers.
Everybody laughing it up at comedy?
[Cheers]
Yeah? Yeah?
People smoking grass?
You guys, what's that?
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Everybody know what this is?
Grass!
It's grass.
That's a pound of grass.
Street value -$2 million.
$2 million.
Pick any problem -what's the
number-one reason for divorce?
Marijuana.
Abortions?
Marijuana.
Volcanoes?
Marijuana.
Who caused hurricane Katrina?
Marijuana.
Why do people become Jewish?
Marijuana.
[Laughter]
[Bell dings]
[Speaking indistinctly over intercom]
So, anyway, welcome to
Oaksterdam.
Thank you. I love it.
Isn't it awesome?
It's really great.
I usually describe it as
the counterculture's vision of
downtown redevelopment for
Oakland.
My name's Richard Lee, and
I'm the owner of the Bulldog
Coffee Shop and the Oaksterdam
Gift Shop and the publisher of
the Oaksterdam News.
This was the first place, so
it's matured, and things are --
this is the first municipality
to issue permits.
So I think it's a lot more
mature than the other places
that are just now getting clubs
in the first place.
You try to figure out the
overall cannabis market...
analysts rank cannabis as the
number-one cash crop in America,
well above cotton, wheat, and
tobacco, with California
responsible for 1/3 of the
entire country's cannabis supply.
In 2006 alone, estimated sales
from California cannabis
exceeded $12 billion.
If taxed, these sales could have
easily generated over $1 billion
in government revenue.
It's like it would be the new
lottery for California.
Exactly.
That's what I think it's gonna be.
Eventually it's gonna be a lot
like gambling.
SR71 is the first stealth
airplane, so we like to think of
ourselves as a stealth
coffee shop flying below the
federal radar.
We have our medium over on
our second page.
We just keep out one medium at a
time, just usually mediumand
high-grade.
We got all our prices right here
next to the weights so you kind
of know what you're working with.
We keep out three high-grades at
a time.
You can always feel free to take them out.
You can smell them, squeeze
them -whatever helps you make
a decision.
Let me ask you -you going
to smoke a spliff, ma'am?
Yeah.
All right.
Do we have any marijuana smokers
here in the park today?
[Scattered cheers]
Any law-enforcement officers
here in the park today?
[Laughter]
I asked those in the wrong order.
[Laughter]
I'm a gardener and
landscaper, so I like to help
aids and cancer patients grow
their own medicine to keep the
price down and to just
decentralize the whole economy.
Oaksterdam was basically a
private joke that a few aids
patients used to chuckle about
when the first marijuana club
came here, and most of those
people are now dead.
Most of the original patients
from Oaksterdam have died.
It's called indole-3 acid.
It's basically -it's a hormone.
What it does -it softens up
the plant tissue, and it sort of
sterilizes it at the same time.
And...what'll happen is after a
few days, the tissue's soft, and
little roots will push out.
And it becomes its own little plant.
These were taken on the 15th.
Today's the 22nd, so in seven
days, we have created life.
So, you see the difference
between Indica over there and
Sativa here?
This one's Indica?
Right.
It's these short, squat, big,
fat leaves.
This tall, more branchy, thinner leaf.
This is actually a hybrid.
It's not pure Sativa.
If it was pure Sativa, it would
be even thinner and lankier.
The worst movie to see when
you're high, the worst one ever,
I think, is a motion picture
called "Super High Me."
What the fuck?
I just fucked up my own joke.
"Super Size Me."
Forget -ladies and gentlemen
of the jury...
[cheers and applause]
[Speaking indistinctly]
That's why I'm voting for Shaw
[Both laugh]
Marijuana peace means a lot of things.
This is Dennis Peron, founder of
the Medical Marijuana Club
movement and many, many things.
Hi!
April 14, 1994 -I'll never
forget this day 'cause the day
before, you called us all up and
said, "we're gonna get arrested
tomorrow."
The chief of police had
called me that day, said he was
going in, busting us.
I said, "look, chief, you can
come in, you can bust us, but
you remember Stonewall?
These people are gonna fight back.
They're not just gonna lay down."
In the end, we knew we'd win.
And it's a good thing that we
wrote it for the people
because -it's got a lot of
holes in it, they say.
They say it's very loosely worded.
Pioneer law.
You know, they say, "almost
anybody can get it with this law.
Don't vote for it."
It was done in the name of my
dead friend, my dead brothers
and sisters who died of aids out
of all that pain, all that
sorrow, something good would happen.
It had to be the sum of their
life that the world changed.
A lot of comedians work
really hard on their jokes, but
what I've been doing...
[laughter]
...is smoking a lot of pot.
I've been high probably about 22
hours -no, more like 18 hours a day.
I probably get sober during the
middle of the night for a few hours.
And it's probably gonna prove nothing.
[Laughter]
[Laughs]
And weird laughs in the audience.
[Stiffly] ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ahh!
This guy is living in a cartoon world.
He's got a cartoon apartment.
[Bell dings]
Ha ha!
Muir Woods, north of
San Francisco, home of the
mighty Redwood.
Let's enjoy it together, shall we?
They really took the treat out
of Rice Krispie treat.
This thing tastes horrible.
How's it going?
Express yourself, Doug.
Fuck this first amendment area.
[Laughter]
I know this guy who has a dog
that can talk.
You can ask the dog --
you can ask -this is serious.
You can ask the dog anything you
want, and then it'll answer it
talking-style.
So, I go -I go -I go,
"what's the thing on top of a house?"
And the dog goes, "roof!"
"Okay, who's the greatest
baseball player of all time?"
And the dog goes, "Ruth!"
I'm like, "okay, that's good.
Name a tourist attraction in the
San Francisco area."
"Wharf!"
And then I'm like, "be more specific."
"Fisherman's Wharf."
[Laughter]
[Bell dings]
This is day 23 of a project that
I'm working on called
"Super High Me."
I am smoking pot all day, every
day for 30 days, starting from
when I wake up in the morning to
when I go to bed at night.
And it has been awesome.
[Laughter]
I think -you know what.
I think the month that you
weren't stoned, I think you have
a pot gland in your body now,
and it just releases pot when
you go without.
It's like a camel hump, and you
don't see it.
And so, the whole fucking movie,
you're just stoned.
It's just "Super High Me" for 60
goddamn days.
But you're not -what it is is
"I'm gonna spend a month not
smoking it.
I'm just gonna get it from my
gland in my neck where I keep
extra pot in case of an
Apocalypse."
How great would it be if the
last scene in the movie is it
bursts out of my head?
[Laughter]
And it looks like
Tommy Chong.
[Laughter]
You grow another -if
Tommy Chong dies --
[imitating Tommy Chong] I
was in your head, man.
[Laughter]
What the fuck, man?
You don't got enough room for a
dude in your head, man.
That was fucking cramped, man.
[Laughter]
You got any weed?
Do you have any plans to make
that leap to having a doctor
give you the thing so you can
just go into dispensaries and
buy amazing weed?
Then my name's on some list somewhere.
That's true.
Right?
That's what people think.
We haven't been able to really
track down --
I don't know if there is a
list that exists, but up here it
seems like there would be.
But, you know, wouldn't they
just pencil your name in if they
ever see you anywhere doing
anything?
Yeah.
[Laughs]
You're pretty open about it.
I don't have a ton of
material about it, but I did say
I smoked pot on "Conan," so
that's probably not the smartest thing.
People watch that, right?
Feds love Conan.
Let me ask you this -how do
you feel about marijuana in a pill?
What's this, like Cocoa Krispies
that are full of weed?
Cucumber, boat, wire.
I still got it.
We're gonna do that mini
mental status thing, but what's,
you know --
Cucumber, boat, wire?
Oh, no, this time it's
completely different.
Okay, good.
See, I knew you'd review the
tape, so basically I changed it
all completely around.
I didn't have to look at the tape.
I've been obsessed with
"cucumber, boat, wire" since it happened.
Excellent.
'Cause nobody remembers.
But if it's still three words,
I'm gonna be aware enough to be
able to get it right even though
I'm medicated, so to speak.
Yes, you are med
[laughing] um...
[baby talking] yes, you
are, you little medicated patient.
You sound more medicated than
you did last time.
This is a questionnaire about
pot that I devised for this
movie to just ask random people,
seeing how much they know about
pot and the situation with pot
in America today.
Here we go.
East bay, first question --
what percentage of Americans smoke pot?
80%.
Excellent guess. It's 99%.
[Laughter]
Very close, though.
Do you smoke pot?
Not recently.
Yes.
About four or five times a year.
No.t depends on, like,
when you're talking about...
Yeah, right. That is a yes.
No.
Occasionally.
No.
Yes, I do.
Do you smoke pot?
Yes.
Welcome to the majority.
[Laughter]
Okay, three words -cab,
avocado, brick.
Cab, avocado, brick.
Perfect.
Now, count back from 100,
subtracting seven.
So, start with 100 and tell me
what's --
93...
Uh-huh.
Come on.
[Laughs]
93...
82...
Okay.
Uh...73.
Mm-hmm.
Is that right?
Keep going.
Jesus.
Uh...73 -64.
Mm-hmm.
Do you think pot is addictive?
Yes.
Well, you're wrong.
I quit smoking pot for 30 days,
and now I'm smoking pot again.
[Laughter]
So you're wrong.
Do I seem high to you right now?
Maybe a little.
Well, you're wrong.
I'm totally high right now.
[Laughter]
Um, at what -this is an
important one at this
juncture -at what age do you
think it's okay for kids to
start getting high?
Uh, 18?
Maybe like 16.
7.
14.
18.
As soon as you can use a lighter.
18.
18?
30.
I think they need to talk to
their parents first.
27, actually.
[Laughter]
27.
Okay, what are those three
words that we talked about before?
Uh, cab, avocado, brick.
You scored!
Excellent. All right.
You got 24 this time, and last
time you got 27.
So, over 22 is still normal, but
you barely got it.
"Cab, avocado, brick" -you
were just waiting for that.
Actually, it's interesting.
Your mathematical functions
completely are gone.
The serial sevens -you kind of
completely got yourself --
Serial sevens?
See, that's what I did is I
switched it to serial nines
partway for some reason.
What's the chemical name for the
active ingredient in pot?
Tetrahydrocannibinol.
No, it's an apple.
[Laughter]
What's -oh, wait, that's the
answer to the next one.
[Laughter]
What's the best fruit to turn
into a pipe?
[Laughter]
An apple.
An apple, yeah.
Apple, yes.
What do you charge for an eighth?
The good stuff or the bad stuff?
Got you!
[Laughter]
Say hello to Officer Benson.
Have you ever been high at work?
If so, what do you do?
If not?
[Laughter]
I don't remember.
You can take the fifth -or
take an eighth.
How many Presidents... boom.
You know, in terms of
physical harm, at this stage of
the game -zippo.
Do you feel, though, living like
this is sustainable?
In other words, for your career --
I think I could get away with
it, but I don't intend to.
Why?
Because, you know, I thought
I'd be sick of smoking pot at
the end of this 30 days.
It turns out I'm not.
It's been great.
But I've been having people
drive me around everywhere.
You're all free to go.
However, remember, if you left a
green-tag item at the base of
the stairs, please wait for it
here or in the jet bridge on the
right-hand side without causing
a traffic jam.
Have a great afternoon.
Cock.
My name is Doug Benson, and I am
super high.
[Low note plays]
[Laughter]
California's the Medical
Marijuana State, so I got my license.
I got a fucking license to smoke pot.
I didn't have to do a test or anything.
I just had to go, "it hurts me
in my back."
"Here you go.
I'm a doctor. Here you go."
And I'm like, "$200."
And now I have a license that
says I can smoke pot.
No one here has that.
Not in Idaho.
But you should.
[Laughter]
'Cause this place is awesome.
Most -bless you.
You guys are allergic to the truth.
[Laughter]
And I'm standing on my own jacket.
I'm scared.
It's scary to be in a state that
isn't cool with it.
I mean, not that -California,
it's legal on the state level,
but on the federal level, it's
still illegal.
So a fed could sweep in and
fucking be like, "nuh-unh."
Pharmacy is being raided
right now as of about three
minutes ago.
Call me back.
Ultimately it comes down to
the federal government to decide
what is and is not legal.
Marijuana is illegal in any
form under federal law.
Federal drug agents raided 11
medical marijuana outlets today
in L.A. County.
D.E.A. Agents swooped down on
L.A. clinics because federal
authorities don't recognize
California's law that allows
medical use of marijuana.
Yesterday D.E.A. Agents
provided search warrants and
went into 11 facilities here in
Los Angeles.
Yeah, they blocked off the
road, and people are getting off.
I'm gonna get out.
Let's go.
They took all of the
medication and patient records
in all of these facilities.
The climate of fear is very real.
# Oh, I said please don't
tear me down #
# I'm just now standing up #
# made some big mistakes #
# I want to get fucked up just
like I used to do with my daddy
president #
# I will break all the rules #
# oh, I will have no regrets #
# 'cause I am president now #
# who would believe that a dumb
good old boy could ever achieve it? #
# politics and fame #
# fame and disaster #
# let's go to work #
# I'll show you the master #
# I know these puppet strings
are hard to break #
I'm waiting for a sheriff who
needs medical marijuana.
I'm not gonna say it won't
happen 'cause...if it's needed,
it's needed.
Yeah, if it's needed, it's needed.
That's why I keep fighting.
Hey.
Do you believe in what you're doing?
Okay.
[Crowd chants "take action now"]
So, we are not supportive of
this action today.
The city of west Hollywood
believes that we have a handle
on these facilities.
We have regulations in place.
We work closely with the
Sheriff's Department to ensure
that they operate with the
intent and the spirit of
Proposition 215.
The federal government has the right.
We can't stop them.
We don't have the legal authority.
[Crowd boos]
D.E.A., go away!
# I didn't know god made such
big assholes,
assholes as you #
# when we get through, I
realized the asshole inside of
me, too #
# inside of me, too #
# if you truly soon became one #
# but one inside one is still two #
# yes, one inside one is still two #
[siren wailing]
[Crowd chants "D.E.A., go away!"]
These people are powered by
the state.
The state law is being broken
here by the federal agents right now.
These guys should be enforcing California
[siren wailing]
They're not shutting us all
down, and we will reopen because
in California, the biggest trees
in the world grow from little seeds.
I'm just a little seed.
All these people that were
behind us earlier are little seeds.
This movement will not be shot down.
You know, I've been a patient
for almost 11 or 12 years when I
crawled up those stairs in
San Francisco and ran into
Dennis Peron, who opened that
first club.
And he said, "Richard, I'm
sending a guy to Los Angeles who
can help you."
I didn't know what I was getting
myself into, but I'm a proud
American patriot, and I will
continue fighting for medical marijuana.
[Bell dings]
So, it's 4:20 on day 30 on.
Doug Benson, it's over.
Oh, it's just starting.
[Laughter]
Well, you know how going into
this thing I thought that by day
30 I would be so sick of pot and
being high and just be dying to
be done with it, at least take a
break for a little while, you know?
But I'm sitting here. It's 4:20.
And, uh...I'm about to light
joint number two.
Medicate.
Yeah, you don't have to now.
You're off the clock.
So...
I totally don't have to.
It's a personal choice now.
Um...
roll some more joints.
You guys are here on day 30.
This is day 30 of getting high
all day, every day from the
second I wake up in the morning
until I go to sleep at night.
And I got to wake and bake.
That's how I start.
And then I don't have a rhyme
for the end of the day, but...
[laughter]
[Speaking indistinctly]
What's that?
Is the program intervention?
[Laughter]
Now, are we playing Jeopardy or
something...
[laughter]
...where the question is the answer?
[Laughter]
'Cause that was worded really strangely.
I haven't -it would have been
cool if I had an intervention, ma'am.
I guess you could try to do one
now, but this is the last day.
[Laughter]
Kind of fucked-up timing.
"Stop what you're doing."
That's like if the guy in
"Super Size Me" was like, on day
30, "I can't do it."
[Laughter]
Well, you already did a lot of damage.
So, this is day 30, and I got to
say, honestly, it's a fantastic
way to live.
I recommend you all become
stand-up comics who don't have
anything really that you have to
do during the day, and at night,
you can get away with acting
like a buffoon in front of nice
people who just want an
old-fashioned intervention.
And finally, do you think sick
people who feel better when they
smoke pot should be able to do
so in the privacy of their own
homes while not operating heavy
machinery and possibly watching
a "project runway" marathon on Bravo?
Yes.
Yes! Joe is right.
Thank you, Joe.
You're awesome, man.
Everybody, you've been great.
Thank you very much for coming out.
I hope to see you again.
Bye-bye.
[Cheers and applause]
Keep it going for
Doug Benson, everyone!
[Cheers and applause continue]
# I smoke every weed, man #
# I plant that big old seed, son #
# I smoke every strain there is
in town #
# from the super-sticky green to
to the hitting mix of brown #
# I smoke every strain there is around #
# I'll smoke it till I'm dead
'cause it feels good in my head #
# I smoked a lot in western Caroline #
# I swear that orange crush, so
sweet it'll make you blush #
# you're feeling good with your
illegal smile #
# I smoke every weed, man #
# I plant that big old seed, son #
# I smoke every strain there is in town #
# from the super-sticky green to the brown #
# I smoke every strain there is around #
# when I visit the pharmacy and
I see my good friend mike, I
say, "oh, boy, I got 40
different strains" #
# and I smoked them all #
# volcano to the brain #
# I think I can remember all the names #
# got the bubble kush, bubble
gum, blueberry, Saturday,
Alaskan thunderfuck #
# AK-47 and the O.G. Kush #
# you got the purple and the
herbal granddaddy, mothership,
and the orange crush #
# G-13 and little balls of hash #
# got the bubble kush, bubble
gum, blueberry, Alaskan thunderfuck #
# AK-47 and the O.G. Kush #
# you got the purple and the
herbal granddaddy, mothership,
and the orange crush #
# G-13 and little balls of hash #
# I smoke every weed, man #
# I plant that big old seed, son #
# I smoke every strain there is in town #
# from the super-sticky green to
to the brown #
# I smoke every strain there is around #
# some people call it dope #
# some think it smells like
burning rope #
# I tell you it relieves my
mind just to know we're a
compassionate state #
# I think it's time to medicate #
# with the bubble kush, bubble
gum, blueberry, Alaskan thunderfuck #
# AK-47 and the O.G. Kush #
# you got the purple and the
herbal granddaddy, mothership,
and the orange crush #
# G-13 and little balls of hash #
# I smoke every weed, man #
# I plant that big old seed, son #
# I smoke every strain there is in town #
# from the super-sticky green to
to the brown #
# I smoke every strain there is around #
# from the super-sticky green to
to the brown #
# I smoke every strain there is around #