1
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,913
Hobby of yours?

2
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,779
Let me guess, you're the author?

3
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:08,911
No. I just... I felt compelled, really.

4
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,481
I mean, you have to admit
it's a little unfair.

5
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,822
You know, you have
all the copies of that one book

6
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:18,386
and not a single copy
of the critically-acclaimed,

7
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:24,630
<i>New York Times noteworthy
Silent Day, edited by yours truly.</i>

8
00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:27,799
So you're an editor at Gitlin & Stern?

9
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,438
Associate, actually. But yes.

10
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,843
Hopefully, if this book hits,
I will be promoted to full editor.

11
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,406
Then I'll get invited to
fabulous, upscale cocktail parties.

12
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,180
And guess who's gonna be my plus one?

13
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,021
You should take this up with Archie Knox,

14
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:48,116
the editor-in-chief of
Stratharen Publishing.

15
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,595
- I know who Archie Knox is.
- Well, if you did,

16
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:55,464
you know Mr. Knox personally inspects
every single window display in Manhattan.

17
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,662
And if he sees your insignificant book

18
00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:01,968
occupying his author's significant space,

19
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,044
I guarantee you'll spend
the rest of your pitiful career

20
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:07,112
<i>editing Teletubby books.</i>

21
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,487
Put those books back!

22
00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:39,271
Why not use a pen?

23
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,343
Maybe then you wouldn't change
your mind so much.

24
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:58,863
You know what? Hell with it. Taxi!

25
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,592
Chloe! I'm here!

26
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,831
- You are totally late.
- I know.

27
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,498
- I'm sorry, I was totally stuck in traffic.
- Uh-huh.

28
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:13,011
Do you have any idea what standing in front
of a library could do to my reputation?

29
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:16,172
You used to love libraries.
Remember in school?

30
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,580
I think you had sex in one.

31
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,687
Why are we here?

32
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,554
Because I'll never make full editor
until we start mixing with the oligarchs.

33
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:27,683
Okay.

34
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,762
And he is one of them.

35
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,597
- That's Archie Knox.
- He's cute.

36
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,860
He's a legend in my business.

37
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:37,026
My Aunt Hilda used to hang out with him
in the '70s.

38
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:40,105
She said that he was so charming,
dogs used to follow him around.

39
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,697
Makes sense. Dogs follow dogs.

40
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,937
<i>MAN ON MICROPHONE: Okay, everybody.
Tonight's my great pleasure to introduce</i>

41
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,979
<i>Mr. Archie Knox.</i>

42
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:51,608
<i>Mr. Knox has been
Mickey Lamm's editor for 25 years.</i>

43
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,913
<i>Without further ado,
I'm going to let him introduce his author.</i>

44
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,113
<i>Everybody, Mr. Archie Knox.</i>

45
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:10,593
Make sure that you read this with food.

46
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:13,501
- Not on an empty stomach, okay?
- Thank you.

47
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:16,206
Is there anyone special I can make it out to?

48
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:20,268
Oh, that's okay, you don't have to sign it.
I'm not gonna read it anyway.

49
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:26,175
Well, I think that qualifies you
as the brightest person here.

50
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:27,650
Here you go.

51
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,853
- How about you?
- You could...

52
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,927
Stop flirting, Mickey.
She's much too pretty for you.

53
00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:37,996
There he goes again.
He's stealing my groupies.

54
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,532
You can make it out to Brett.

55
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:44,159
Let me guess.
Your novelist father named you after

56
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,704
<i>Brett Ashley in The Sun Also Rises.</i>

57
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,603
My father's a doctor.

58
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,367
But yes, I was named after that character.

59
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,744
My brother's named Ethan.

60
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:56,908
<i>After Ethan Frome.</i>

61
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:03,688
Well, as I always say, better to be named
after a sensuous 1920s flapper than...

62
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:07,556
A tragic, desperate man with an ugly scar
across his forehead.

63
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:09,455
Exactly.

64
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:19,067
Now, Brett, what are you doing here
among the literati?

65
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,605
I work at Gitlin & Stern.

66
00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:23,004
Really? You know, I knew Jake Gitlin
and Bob Stern years ago

67
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,339
before they killed each other in a duel.

68
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,436
- That's just industry lore.
- Not at all.

69
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:31,677
If memory serves, they were both on horses
and charged right at each other.

70
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:35,743
<i>Used copies of Les Misérables as weapons
to bludgeon one another to death.</i>

71
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:38,448
<i>- I heard it was Brothers Karamazov.
- Impossible.</i>

72
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,025
Gitlin and Stern were both Francophiles.

73
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,358
They would never use a Russian novel
as a murder weapon, it's too literal.

74
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,829
- Are you...
- Starving.

75
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,203
I will have the crêpes suzette. Thank you.

76
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,035
She's too young to be having dessert first,

77
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,110
so would you bring her the niçoise salad
and I'll have the steak frites.

78
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,974
Very good, Mr. Knox.

79
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,643
I apologize, that's so rude.

80
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,488
- Is that one of those...
- My BlackBerry.

81
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:14,651
It's reminding me that I should be reading
a manuscript right now.

82
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,222
- You don't have one?
- No.

83
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,225
It can fix your whole life.

84
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:26,664
Two ex-wives and a spiteful daughter
cannot be "fixed" by a

85
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,870
BoysenBerry.

86
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,267
Archie, darling!

87
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:33,709
Margaret. Margaret,
I want you to meet my friend Brett,

88
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:36,441
a rising star at Gitlin & Stern.

89
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:39,616
Archie.

90
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:43,746
I'm planning on throwing a party for Mickey
when he wins the Pulitzer Prize for fiction.

91
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,949
Isn't that a bit premature?

92
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,527
Margaret has predicted
35 of the last 40 winners in fiction.

93
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,189
Thirty-six.

94
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,097
<i>Maggie the Greek.
By day, a critic extraordinaire.</i>

95
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,466
By night, a Park Avenue bookie.

96
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,098
I'll be calling you next month
to tell you all the details.

97
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,403
In the meantime, try to be a good boy

98
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:08,241
and don't keep the little gazelle up
past her bedtime.

99
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,974
Come on, darling.

100
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,675
Leon.

101
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,084
Wait, was that really Margaret Paddleford?

102
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,712
No, it was Norman Mailer in a dress.

103
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,122
Have a Twizzler?

104
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:30,324
Anyway, the author's complaints are making
the process unbearable.

105
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:32,267
I mean, he's whining about the cover art,

106
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,669
he's complaining
about our choice of release date.

107
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:37,504
He even hates his publicity photo,
which, incidentally, was retouched

108
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,168
to make him look like Dorian Gray.

109
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,939
Ask to be taken off the project.

110
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,709
I'm the one who brought the manuscript in.
I can't bail now.

111
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,147
Malt ball?

112
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,309
I'm a diabetic.

113
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,682
Sorry.

114
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,227
Just standing in this place is making
my feet tingle.

115
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,886
You were about to offer some advice?

116
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,962
Well, when it comes to writers,
there's only one rule. Patience.

117
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,799
Of course, if that fails,
I know a very discreet hit-man

118
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,998
who would spread the body parts
all over Jersey.

119
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,709
Serves me right.

120
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:16,213
My Great Aunt Hilda once told me
never take a job whose sole purpose

121
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:17,805
is to make people feel imperfect.

122
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,316
Sage advice.

123
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,248
Hilda?

124
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,551
What did you say your last name was?

125
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:25,954
Eisenberg.

126
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,993
Dear God! You're not related to...

127
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,586
- I'm her grand-niece.
- Hilda Eisenberg?

128
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,824
- Yes.
- I adored Hilda!

129
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:38,063
You know, the first time I met her
was at Botيn's in Madrid.

130
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,167
It was Hemingway's favorite restaurant,
famous for its suckling pig,

131
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:43,036
and Hilda got incredibly drunk

132
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:46,703
and she bet me that she could punt
the pig carcass

133
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:50,043
across the entire length of the dining room,
which she did.

134
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,451
Won a hell of a lot of pesetas.
I used that in my book.

135
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,452
- You wrote a book?
- One.

136
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,250
Years ago.
It's on Amazon's endangered species list.

137
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:05,095
Dear Hilda. She was
the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

138
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:07,895
Let me see your face.

139
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,127
I can see her in your eyes.

140
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,422
This is me.

141
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:36,059
You live in Hilda's old apartment?

142
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:39,564
- You've been here?
- Many, many nights, yeah.

143
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,359
Her parties were legendary.

144
00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:47,769
Well, she left it in the family
and I have temporary custody.

145
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,508
I have a boyfriend.

146
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,547
I have a goldfish.

147
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,118
Well, then...

148
00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:04,584
Is he in there? The boyfriend.

149
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,487
No. Actually, he's...

150
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,419
He's over there.

151
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,593
- Papaya King?
- Europe.

152
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,561
He's finding himself.

153
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:18,994
Why did he have to travel 3,000 miles
to find himself without you?

154
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,397
What do I know?

155
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,406
Good night, Pumpkin.

156
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:29,844
Good night.

157
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,062
- Hey.
- Good morning, Brett.

158
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,785
Uh-huh.

159
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:42,947
Uh-huh.

160
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,251
Okay, so what's the cost difference between

161
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:49,259
a partial ocean view and a full ocean view?

162
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,128
Excuse me?

163
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,597
Let me speak to my boss
and get back to you. Damn!

164
00:13:57,703 --> 00:13:59,694
Why are you in my office?

165
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,440
I knew no one was gonna tell you,
but I'm not gonna get stuck with it.

166
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,602
- Am I fired?
- Just go up to your boss's office

167
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:09,408
and speak to Faye. 
She'll explain everything.

168
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,075
- Who's Faye?
- Reservations, please.

169
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:16,482
Oh, it feels good. The burn.
The burn feels good.

170
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,173
Can you give me a hand here?

171
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,917
- You must be Katie.
- I'm Brett.

172
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:50,785
Oh, right. The one with the office.
Well, Brett, it's nice to meet you.

173
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,290
I'm your new boss, Faye Faulkner.

174
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,325
Yes. That Faulkner.

175
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:02,161
- What happened to Dorrie?
- Dorrie's dead.

176
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:05,765
Metaphorically speaking, of course.

177
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:08,135
You see, Dorrie was
the victim of her own futile search

178
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,367
for something that no longer exists.

179
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:12,171
A great novelist.

180
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:13,711
Sorry about your office, by the way.

181
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:17,077
My assistant Jason needed some privacy
to make sure the transition went smoothly,

182
00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:20,117
but I'll be sure you get it back
in a week or so.

183
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,119
Sure. It's no problem.

184
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:25,622
In the meantime, just go about your work

185
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,215
until the evaluation process ends, hmm?

186
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,020
Okay.

187
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,098
Oh, wait. One more thing.

188
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,368
Faye Faulkner.

189
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:40,870
Jean-Claude.

190
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,773
It's a private invitation
to a Bergdorf sale tonight.

191
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,146
Forty off. Enjoy.

192
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:13,169
- What happened?
- Dorrie got fired.

193
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,366
Damn it. After I spent a year
kissing her cellulite-riddled ass.

194
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:20,172
Oh, the news gets even worse.
She's been replaced by Faye Faulkner.

195
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:24,340
Oh, God, no. My friend worked for Faye
over at Viking. She quit after a week.

196
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:27,078
Told me she'd rather work for Al Qaeda.

197
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:29,518
She's not wearing any underwear.

198
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,822
She probably slept her way over here.

199
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:37,191
Seaver, not every successful woman
uses sex to get ahead.

200
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,597
The pretty ones do. The ugly ones can't.

201
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,039
You should see the idiot they put
in my office.

202
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,199
I'm stuck in this cubicle.

203
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:53,805
Well, it's just Dorrie was the one
who hired me in the first place.

204
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:56,437
She even thought I could make editor
by the end of the year.

205
00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:59,881
Now that she's gone every one
of my projects could be in jeopardy.

206
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,920
<i>ROBERT: Well, let's see what develops
in the next few weeks.</i>

207
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,650
<i>No reason to panic yet. Okay?</i>

208
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:10,052
<i>- Okay. I love you, Daddy.
- Love you too, honey.</i>

209
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:13,554
Some dude called for you.

210
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:14,757
What?

211
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,929
One of your calls got misdirected.
Some dude named Jughead,

212
00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:24,103
or Archie. He left a voice mail.
I might have saved it. I don't...

213
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,781
<i>VOICE MAIL: Mail box 107.
One new message.</i>

214
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:38,623
<i>ARCHIE: It's Archie.</i>

215
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,359
<i>You sound hungry
on your outgoing message,</i>

216
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,156
<i>so I decided to cook you dinner tonight.</i>

217
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,731
<i>8:30. 159 East 61st Street.</i>

218
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,668
<i>See you then. Oh, don't forget a chaperone.</i>

219
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:11,712
Holy shit.

220
00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:31,191
How do I look?

221
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:43,814
No chaperone?

222
00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:46,943
I switched cars. I think I lost him.

223
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,558
How about a tour?

224
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,674
This is my daughter's room.

225
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,839
- She likes Coltrane?
- Only since she was three.

226
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,483
Who's that?

227
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,422
That's Milan Kundera.

228
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:27,484
I knew that.

229
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:36,033
- Master bedroom.
- No, thanks.

230
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:40,338
I'll be up soon, darling.

231
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:44,933
Don't be silly,
I'm just feeding a hungry child.

232
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,912
And the next day she was gone.

233
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:56,584
Dorrie was the closest thing
I ever had to a mentor.

234
00:20:57,189 --> 00:21:01,819
So now you have to take your marching
orders from the likes of Faye Faulkner?

235
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:07,889
Well, she's a Brit, but claims to be related
to the quintessential American author.

236
00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:10,328
Maybe I should change
my name to Brett Brontë.

237
00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:12,867
Thank you.

238
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,536
You're not drinking?

239
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,003
I'm an alcoholic.

240
00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:26,082
- You're not joking.
- No.

241
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:28,816
I'm sorry.

242
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,322
I did it again.

243
00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:41,291
I'll have three years sober this May.

244
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,858
I'll be three years legal this May.

245
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:50,500
So...

246
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:55,273
<i>Who's this On the Road fella of yours?</i>

247
00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:57,244
- Jed.
- Jed?

248
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:00,747
That's his name? Jed?

249
00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:07,090
Does he make you happy?

250
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:09,721
Sure.

251
00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:13,888
You know Dante's definition of hell?

252
00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:16,358
Give me a minute.

253
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,663
"Proximity without intimacy."

254
00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:21,970
Dante never said that.

255
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:24,403
Of course he did.

256
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,643
Didn't he?

257
00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:34,214
Well, I'll be damned.

258
00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:38,088
You're right.

259
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,097
Don't forget this.

260
00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,140
What is it?

261
00:22:56,375 --> 00:23:01,312
To answer that question would make this
beautiful wrapping job I did superfluous.

262
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:05,006
No, no, wait until you're alone.

263
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,608
It'll be more dramatic that way.

264
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:11,785
Is this all some sort of experiment?

265
00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:14,916
To see how long it takes
to seduce a young girl?

266
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:17,756
Seduce? Why would I want to do that?

267
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:21,457
Think about it.
What would the point of that be?

268
00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:26,265
What would be the point of seducing you?

269
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:40,815
Stop by if you change your mind.

270
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:45,216
Any time of the night or day.

271
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,760
Surprise!

272
00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:24,662
Ted!

273
00:24:28,233 --> 00:24:30,030
God! When did you get back?

274
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,103
Just a couple of hours ago.

275
00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:35,935
Well, why didn't you tell me?
I could have met you at the airport.

276
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:38,032
Well, I wanted to surprise you.

277
00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:39,974
You did.

278
00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:43,605
I had to make sure
you were being a virtuous,

279
00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:47,083
God-fearing,

280
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,780
woman

281
00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:51,879
while I was on the front.

282
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,190
Know what I really missed?

283
00:24:57,562 --> 00:24:59,325
Your grilled cheese.

284
00:26:15,607 --> 00:26:17,666
<i>ARCHIE ON VOICE MAIL:
It's Archie.</i>

285
00:26:18,944 --> 00:26:22,641
<i>I left a little present for you
at your favorite book store.</i>

286
00:26:23,715 --> 00:26:25,239
<i>Hope you don't mind.</i>

287
00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:47,366
Jed, I...

288
00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:50,034
- I think there's someone else.
- Huh?

289
00:26:50,141 --> 00:26:51,938
There's someone else!

290
00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:56,008
Jesus, B, there's no one else.

291
00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:00,641
Okay, look, I might have hooked up
with a chick in Sweden,

292
00:27:00,752 --> 00:27:03,516
but I swear it was temporary insanity.
I was reading too much Strindberg...

293
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:06,056
Jed, for once in your life, listen to me.

294
00:27:06,157 --> 00:27:09,149
Okay? I'm telling you
that I met someone else.

295
00:27:13,098 --> 00:27:15,566
Quit fooling around. I really missed you...

296
00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:17,191
No, you didn't.

297
00:27:18,069 --> 00:27:20,469
In six months I got one postcard.

298
00:27:22,173 --> 00:27:23,572
From Sweden.

299
00:27:25,243 --> 00:27:26,733
Now I know why.

300
00:27:29,314 --> 00:27:32,442
Come on, Brett,
you can't just dump me like this.

301
00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:35,244
Look how romantic I'm being?

302
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:39,484
- Come on, give me a chance.
- I gave you a chance!

303
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:41,819
And you know what you did?

304
00:27:41,926 --> 00:27:44,554
You went to Europe without me.

305
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:53,793
Will you at least put me up for a
few weeks. Till I find a place?

306
00:27:56,074 --> 00:27:57,507
On the couch.

307
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,145
For me or you?

308
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:12,720
You ready?

309
00:28:13,758 --> 00:28:15,749
Did Van Gogh have one ear?

310
00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:18,686
I just need to get my bag.
I'll be a second.

311
00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:23,966
You're pretty chipper
for a girl in mourning.

312
00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:25,969
Mourning? Over Jed?

313
00:28:26,404 --> 00:28:27,903
Give me a little more credit than that.

314
00:28:27,906 --> 00:28:31,398
Oh, really? I thought for sure
you'd be upset.

315
00:28:31,743 --> 00:28:35,702
Is that the only decent excuse for a visit?
Relationship trauma?

316
00:28:35,814 --> 00:28:38,715
Well, you guys have been together
for over a year.

317
00:28:38,817 --> 00:28:40,717
Six months of which he spent in Europe

318
00:28:40,819 --> 00:28:43,049
suffering from a peculiar form
of Stockholm syndrome.

319
00:28:43,154 --> 00:28:44,221
Yeah.

320
00:28:44,756 --> 00:28:47,486
Why? Don't you think
we should've stayed together?

321
00:28:47,592 --> 00:28:51,653
Well, how I felt about Jed
is totally irrelevant.

322
00:28:52,497 --> 00:28:55,762
Even more so now that you two are
no longer an item.

323
00:28:57,602 --> 00:29:01,060
You know, I think I've met
someone else. He's a little bit older.

324
00:29:01,172 --> 00:29:02,662
That fast, huh?

325
00:29:03,675 --> 00:29:07,475
- He's an editor.
- Hey! Here they are.

326
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:10,540
He used to be friendly with Aunt Hilda.

327
00:29:10,648 --> 00:29:13,310
He is really more of a friend, though.

328
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:17,718
Have I ever told you that you've perfected
the art of parental non-interference?

329
00:29:17,822 --> 00:29:21,588
Well, the Hippocratic oath is very clear.
"First, do no harm."

330
00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:24,295
Especially to daughters.

331
00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:28,330
So, what else do we absolutely,
positively have to have?

332
00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:33,231
- Oh! A pair of Gucci shoes.
- Oh! How about a shower curtain?

333
00:29:34,405 --> 00:29:35,770
Even better.

334
00:29:37,408 --> 00:29:41,708
Now, you promise me that you're gonna
have your building super put those up.

335
00:29:41,813 --> 00:29:43,974
With or without batteries?

336
00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:46,550
- I love you.
- I love you too, honey.

337
00:29:54,325 --> 00:29:55,952
What is it, honey?

338
00:29:56,995 --> 00:29:59,395
I just miss you, Daddy. That's all.

339
00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:02,660
I know.

340
00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:53,178
Shut up.

341
00:31:02,093 --> 00:31:04,027
Well, what have we here?

342
00:31:49,674 --> 00:31:51,266
Looky what I got.

343
00:31:51,376 --> 00:31:53,435
A final copy of the Jane Shanning book
you edited.

344
00:31:53,845 --> 00:31:57,804
No way! I've been reading so much lately,
I almost forgot I was an associate.

345
00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:59,213
Hey, guys.

346
00:32:00,818 --> 00:32:02,479
What's the matter?

347
00:32:02,987 --> 00:32:04,648
No acknowledgment.

348
00:32:05,323 --> 00:32:08,850
Six months editing a book on penguins
and I get nothing.

349
00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:11,518
Don't feel bad.
An author I once worked with

350
00:32:11,629 --> 00:32:13,790
passed me over for his dental hygienist.

351
00:32:13,898 --> 00:32:17,459
Maybe I can cheer you up. I got tickets
to a movie premiere tonight. Any interest?

352
00:32:17,568 --> 00:32:20,969
Thanks, but Archie and I are going
to the Berkshires for the weekend.

353
00:32:21,072 --> 00:32:23,370
What, is he too cheap to pony up
for the Hamptons?

354
00:32:23,474 --> 00:32:25,237
Archie detests the Hamptons.

355
00:32:25,343 --> 00:32:28,779
He says sitting on the LIE is
suburban chemotherapy.

356
00:32:30,014 --> 00:32:33,313
This is top priority.
Faye wants a reader's report by Monday.

357
00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:35,716
Have a terrific weekend.

358
00:32:37,021 --> 00:32:40,582
Especially you. I haven't met you.
What is your name?

359
00:32:40,692 --> 00:32:45,857
It doesn't matter. I like the whole denim,
plain-Jane thing. You into pornography?

360
00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:47,932
Oh! I need coffee. Stat.

361
00:32:50,568 --> 00:32:53,560
How's the book?
Almost as bad as your music.

362
00:32:53,671 --> 00:32:56,231
Faye's giving me everything
she doesn't want to read.

363
00:32:56,341 --> 00:32:59,799
Mafia wars, Victorian epics,
Bridget Jones knock-offs.

364
00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:03,808
If I get a celebrity bio,
I'm gonna drink bleach.

365
00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:06,847
Want me to make some calls?

366
00:33:06,951 --> 00:33:08,350
I'm kidding.

367
00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:10,751
- I'm kidding.
- You're not funny.

368
00:33:11,356 --> 00:33:13,023
I think you're just jealous of my hat.

369
00:33:32,143 --> 00:33:34,111
- Hey, Arch?
- Yes, doll?

370
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,105
- Who were you on the phone with?
- Elizabeth.

371
00:33:40,118 --> 00:33:42,643
You told me that your daughter
refuses to speak to you.

372
00:33:42,754 --> 00:33:44,551
I left her a message.

373
00:33:45,656 --> 00:33:47,521
That's not what I mean.

374
00:33:48,259 --> 00:33:52,195
Why today, while peeing in the bathroom
at Rooster's Burgers,

375
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:55,632
did you suddenly have the urge to call her?

376
00:33:55,733 --> 00:33:57,724
Because it's her birthday.

377
00:34:00,738 --> 00:34:03,070
Maybe you should think
about getting her a gift.

378
00:34:03,174 --> 00:34:05,165
- Already did.
- What'd you get her?

379
00:34:05,276 --> 00:34:06,766
A BoysenBerry.

380
00:34:10,915 --> 00:34:14,112
You know, you never told me, not exactly,

381
00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:16,810
why she won't talk to you.

382
00:34:19,824 --> 00:34:23,590
Bless that girl, I think she would have
forgiven me anything.

383
00:34:24,095 --> 00:34:27,394
The cheating, the drinking,
even the divorce.

384
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,897
But there's one thing
she would never forgive me for.

385
00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:33,837
And that's that I didn't
fight for her love.

386
00:34:34,572 --> 00:34:35,732
I ran.

387
00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:41,401
I think if I had just tried to get custody,
no matter how fruitless it might have been,

388
00:34:41,512 --> 00:34:43,946
everything would be different now.

389
00:34:45,983 --> 00:34:48,178
Thanks for telling me, Archie.

390
00:34:50,655 --> 00:34:53,089
<i>Number 51, your order's ready.</i>

391
00:34:53,491 --> 00:34:55,152
I'll get the food.

392
00:35:10,074 --> 00:35:12,042
What's the matter, kiddo?

393
00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:15,870
I think I'm having
a work-related panic attack.

394
00:35:18,583 --> 00:35:20,175
You want my help?

395
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:21,809
No.

396
00:35:22,487 --> 00:35:24,853
- Okay.
- Please?

397
00:35:27,191 --> 00:35:29,352
These are all for Faye?

398
00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:30,927
Mostly.

399
00:35:31,028 --> 00:35:32,791
I've actually read a lot of them.

400
00:35:32,897 --> 00:35:35,559
I just couldn't make a decision
if they were good or bad.

401
00:35:35,666 --> 00:35:38,499
So I re-read them
and then I got more confused.

402
00:35:38,603 --> 00:35:41,436
Now I can't reject anything at all.

403
00:35:41,539 --> 00:35:46,203
Well, it's perfectly natural to doubt your
judgment about doubting your judgment.

404
00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:50,042
Let's see what you're reading.

405
00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:52,809
"They did good rowing, Dave and Michelle.

406
00:35:52,917 --> 00:35:56,182
"When she was pregnant with Carl,
he'd hit her once.

407
00:35:56,287 --> 00:35:59,518
"Her body always assailed him
with ambivalence,

408
00:35:59,957 --> 00:36:02,425
"wanting to possess it and yet repelled.

409
00:36:02,627 --> 00:36:06,290
"Her marbled belly,
her engorged breasts had shamed him

410
00:36:06,397 --> 00:36:09,230
"the way they tipped him into revulsion."

411
00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:14,295
You read this whole thing?

412
00:36:15,540 --> 00:36:16,700
Twice?

413
00:36:17,808 --> 00:36:22,472
Including the 50-page description of
the blizzard that covered all of Dublin.

414
00:36:22,813 --> 00:36:24,178
It's shit.

415
00:36:24,515 --> 00:36:27,279
It's by a writer who wants to be
the next James Joyce.

416
00:36:27,385 --> 00:36:29,853
- What if he is the next Joyce?
- He ain't.

417
00:36:29,954 --> 00:36:32,787
I can't just say that. I mean, Faye
wants me to write reader's reports.

418
00:36:32,890 --> 00:36:36,053
You're an associate.
Why are you writing reports?

419
00:36:36,794 --> 00:36:38,955
Okay. I want you to grab a pad, Eisenberg.

420
00:36:39,063 --> 00:36:43,090
I want you to take a memo
and I want you to write this verbatim.

421
00:36:43,801 --> 00:36:46,964
This writer wants to be
the next James Joyce, comma,

422
00:36:47,071 --> 00:36:48,663
maybe he is, comma,

423
00:36:48,773 --> 00:36:51,469
but I can't get past the first chapter.

424
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:53,775
Period.

425
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:55,376
That's it?

426
00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:57,442
And then what do I do
when Faye complains?

427
00:36:57,548 --> 00:37:01,712
Tell her that writing reports is not
an efficient use of your time.

428
00:37:01,819 --> 00:37:04,151
It's not an efficient use
of your time.

429
00:37:06,991 --> 00:37:08,424
Next batter.

430
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:12,154
<i>Secrets Will Rise by Steven Freeberg.</i>

431
00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:15,361
I'll be up all night.

432
00:37:20,338 --> 00:37:21,999
Now, that is sexy.

433
00:37:22,807 --> 00:37:24,035
- Come on!
- No!

434
00:37:59,143 --> 00:38:01,976
There's nothing wrong
with your judgment.

435
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:22,266
Alcoholic. Diabetic.

436
00:38:22,366 --> 00:38:24,163
More than twice your age.

437
00:38:24,268 --> 00:38:27,863
And you still are really considering
moving in with this guy?

438
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:29,872
I know, it's nuts,

439
00:38:30,207 --> 00:38:33,973
but when I'm with him I feel like...
Like a better version of myself, you know?

440
00:38:34,078 --> 00:38:36,979
Funnier, smarter, sexier.

441
00:38:37,081 --> 00:38:39,276
So you gonna bring him home
to meet your dad?

442
00:38:39,383 --> 00:38:42,910
Why not? They can talk
about retirement plans and golf.

443
00:38:44,188 --> 00:38:46,656
What if he just starts making out
with your mother?

444
00:38:46,757 --> 00:38:48,657
Or has a stroke.

445
00:38:48,759 --> 00:38:51,284
Just keels over in
the middle of Thanksgiving dinner?

446
00:38:51,395 --> 00:38:54,489
Don't let her scare you off.
Older men are a great bet.

447
00:38:54,598 --> 00:38:58,125
Assuming, of course, you can ignore
the ex-wives and bratty kids.

448
00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:00,697
Did anyone ask for your opinion?

449
00:39:00,805 --> 00:39:02,295
- No.
- Down.

450
00:39:02,406 --> 00:39:06,866
Anyway, I have a hunch there's nothing
I can say to stop this madness.

451
00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:10,476
Well, you know what they say.
"Tell a girl she can't have something..."

452
00:39:10,581 --> 00:39:13,105
- "She wants it even more."
- "She wants it even more."

453
00:40:01,966 --> 00:40:03,593
Snooping already?

454
00:40:05,369 --> 00:40:06,836
Who are they?

455
00:40:07,705 --> 00:40:11,436
Every woman I've seriously dated
for the last 25 years.

456
00:40:12,143 --> 00:40:14,475
Collecting them all in one book?

457
00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:16,876
It's a little self-congratulatory,
don't you think?

458
00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:20,508
Lauren, an ex-girlfriend of mine,
put this together for me.

459
00:40:20,618 --> 00:40:23,951
I can't ever imagine being secure enough
to do that.

460
00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:27,180
There's a strange phenomenon here.

461
00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:30,454
As you get older,
the women keep getting younger.

462
00:40:30,561 --> 00:40:31,628
Oh.

463
00:40:31,862 --> 00:40:34,023
That's Lauren. Right there.

464
00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:36,929
- That's Lauren Hutton.
- Most certainly is.

465
00:40:37,301 --> 00:40:39,667
Here's Elizabeth's mother. Here.

466
00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:43,335
- Your first wife?
- Yeah. We met at Princeton.

467
00:40:43,474 --> 00:40:46,705
I was a professor, faking my way
through a class on Borges.

468
00:40:47,311 --> 00:40:50,212
And she came into my office one day
and said she knew that I was a fake,

469
00:40:50,314 --> 00:40:54,444
but was in love with me nonetheless,
and I married her three months later.

470
00:40:54,552 --> 00:40:58,113
What makes you think I want to hear
about your flock of women?

471
00:40:58,222 --> 00:41:01,419
First of all, it's not a
flock, it's a gaggle.

472
00:41:01,892 --> 00:41:05,089
And second of all, this is my life
we're talking about here.

473
00:41:05,196 --> 00:41:06,424
I see.

474
00:41:07,264 --> 00:41:09,027
I got you something.

475
00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:11,100
Oh, I hope it's what I want.

476
00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:20,773
You might need these.

477
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:22,874
Oh, you're so mean.

478
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:28,346
"Thanks for letting me share your home,
XO, Brett."

479
00:41:29,386 --> 00:41:30,876
XO.

480
00:41:30,988 --> 00:41:35,184
The two-letter cop-out for those who are
too afraid to use the four-letter alternative.

481
00:41:35,192 --> 00:41:36,659
Just open it.

482
00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:42,489
Great Scott!

483
00:41:43,367 --> 00:41:45,597
I've entered the 21st century!

484
00:41:49,773 --> 00:41:51,638
I think it needs a Valium.

485
00:41:51,876 --> 00:41:53,935
I sent you a text message.

486
00:41:54,211 --> 00:41:56,873
- Click the wheel on the right twice.
- Here?

487
00:41:56,981 --> 00:41:58,039
Yes.

488
00:42:00,217 --> 00:42:01,707
What do I do now?

489
00:42:01,819 --> 00:42:03,047
Read it.

490
00:42:04,822 --> 00:42:06,221
Really?

491
00:42:12,229 --> 00:42:13,719
On the stairs?

492
00:42:29,513 --> 00:42:31,913
- These notes are great.
- Thank you.

493
00:42:32,616 --> 00:42:35,915
But the reader's reports you wrote before
were a lot more thorough.

494
00:42:36,020 --> 00:42:39,319
Reports don't seem
like an efficient use of my time.

495
00:42:45,129 --> 00:42:47,097
I guess notes are fine.

496
00:42:49,199 --> 00:42:53,397
Now, I've just completed
my overview of Dorrie's acquisitions.

497
00:42:53,504 --> 00:42:56,334
<i>And it seems there's a book
she bought for you called Peanut Butter...</i>

498
00:42:56,340 --> 00:42:58,900
<i>Peanut Butter Blues, by Leonard Putterman.</i>

499
00:42:59,009 --> 00:43:01,204
That's a pet project of mine.

500
00:43:01,812 --> 00:43:05,043
That's quite an advance for a story
about people with arachnophobia.

501
00:43:05,149 --> 00:43:06,878
Arachibutyrophobia.

502
00:43:07,284 --> 00:43:09,980
- I beg your pardon?
- Arachibutyrophobia.

503
00:43:10,888 --> 00:43:13,448
Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders.

504
00:43:13,557 --> 00:43:16,890
Arachibutyrophobia is
the fear of peanut butter sticking

505
00:43:16,994 --> 00:43:18,518
to the roof of your mouth.

506
00:43:23,033 --> 00:43:25,263
The book could strike a nerve.

507
00:43:27,037 --> 00:43:28,129
Yeah.

508
00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:33,102
Do yourself a favor.
Finish it up quickly and move on.

509
00:43:33,978 --> 00:43:36,173
- Understood?
- Yes.

510
00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:43,317
Did Archie tell you to say that?

511
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:51,887
That's what he used to tell me to say.

512
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:57,829
"Reports don't seem
like an efficient use of my time."

513
00:44:09,446 --> 00:44:11,073
You going my way?

514
00:44:13,050 --> 00:44:15,348
Hey, guess who called me today?

515
00:44:15,619 --> 00:44:17,849
- I don't know. Who?
- Elizabeth.

516
00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:23,122
The first time in two years.
Man, she must have really loved that gift.

517
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,389
- I guess so.
- You know what I was thinking?

518
00:44:25,396 --> 00:44:27,930
I would get us all tickets to go
to the Jackson Browne concert.

519
00:44:27,931 --> 00:44:29,922
- What do you think?
- Who?

520
00:44:37,374 --> 00:44:40,969
You know, Archie, if you want
to take your daughter to a concert,

521
00:44:41,078 --> 00:44:44,104
maybe you should ask her
who she wants to see.

522
00:44:44,515 --> 00:44:47,746
Look, I know this is awkward.
You being the same age and all.

523
00:44:47,851 --> 00:44:51,810
But I thought if you would come with us,

524
00:44:53,791 --> 00:44:56,760
maybe I wouldn't bungle the whole evening.

525
00:44:57,294 --> 00:44:59,285
You know what I'm saying?

526
00:45:01,799 --> 00:45:04,427
I don't think that's such a good idea.

527
00:45:09,073 --> 00:45:10,131
Hey.

528
00:45:14,044 --> 00:45:16,478
- I don't get it.
- Go on. Try it on.

529
00:45:16,580 --> 00:45:18,673
What's wrong with what I'm wearing?

530
00:45:18,782 --> 00:45:21,148
It's... It's perfectly fine.

531
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,347
"Perfectly fine?"

532
00:45:24,588 --> 00:45:26,852
My friend just won the Pulitzer Prize.

533
00:45:26,957 --> 00:45:28,754
Would you indulge me?

534
00:45:29,293 --> 00:45:31,261
I like what I'm wearing.

535
00:45:31,862 --> 00:45:36,128
My father bought me this dress.
I spent three pay checks on my shoes.

536
00:45:36,233 --> 00:45:40,795
He's infantilizing you a bit, just a
little bit. I mean, it's a little...

537
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,104
...asexual.

538
00:45:44,975 --> 00:45:47,375
You'd prefer a crotchless teddy?

539
00:45:47,845 --> 00:45:51,542
Look, that dress says, and very lucidly,
I might add,

540
00:45:51,648 --> 00:45:54,344
that you're an associate editor
from a small imprint

541
00:45:54,451 --> 00:45:57,887
who just got off the bus
from Cherry Hill, New Jersey.

542
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:00,818
Don't make fun of my family.

543
00:46:00,924 --> 00:46:02,491
How could I make fun of people
I've never met?

544
00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:04,927
Archie, why are you picking on me?

545
00:46:05,262 --> 00:46:07,492
- Look at this dress!
- I see it!

546
00:46:12,302 --> 00:46:13,826
Where is Brett?

547
00:46:14,037 --> 00:46:16,870
Where did she go?
What did you do with her?

548
00:46:18,542 --> 00:46:20,339
I want my Brett back.

549
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:37,859
Archie, darling, come in, come in!

550
00:46:37,995 --> 00:46:39,553
You remember Brett.

551
00:46:39,663 --> 00:46:41,426
Well, yes, of course. Hello, dear.

552
00:46:41,532 --> 00:46:43,193
Good evening, Miss Paddleford.

553
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,427
Stunning dress!

554
00:46:45,536 --> 00:46:48,266
Perhaps next time
you'd like to wear open-toes.

555
00:46:48,372 --> 00:46:51,398
<i>It's so much more appropriate
with decollete Don't you think?</i>

556
00:46:51,508 --> 00:46:54,636
Archie, you have to come
with me immediately.

557
00:46:54,745 --> 00:46:59,182
One of your secret admirers is here
and she insists that she meet you,

558
00:46:59,283 --> 00:47:01,410
or her life will be empty.

559
00:47:02,019 --> 00:47:03,646
I think she likes you.

560
00:47:03,754 --> 00:47:07,781
Sid, there's someone
I want you to meet. Sidney!

561
00:47:10,527 --> 00:47:11,824
- Hey, there.
- Hi.

562
00:47:11,929 --> 00:47:13,294
Can I get you something?

563
00:47:13,397 --> 00:47:17,697
Yeah. I'm looking for a drink that
I can completely make a fool of myself with.

564
00:47:17,801 --> 00:47:19,496
Coming right up.

565
00:47:37,387 --> 00:47:39,355
- I'm scared.
- But just think, Mickey.

566
00:47:39,456 --> 00:47:43,222
Now you are among
the likes of men like Steinbeck

567
00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:45,921
and Updike and Bellow.

568
00:47:46,029 --> 00:47:50,022
Did you guys know that Pulitzer winners'
life expectancy is extremely high?

569
00:47:50,133 --> 00:47:53,193
Did you know that Mickey used to send
a hooker to the home of all the critics

570
00:47:53,303 --> 00:47:56,067
on the eve of the publication of his books?

571
00:47:56,173 --> 00:47:58,664
Did you guys know
that Archie fucked my boss?

572
00:47:58,775 --> 00:47:59,935
- What?
- Uh-oh.

573
00:48:03,013 --> 00:48:05,038
Yeah! No, that's right.

574
00:48:05,482 --> 00:48:09,009
Archie Knox
and the fabulous Faye Faulkner.

575
00:48:09,119 --> 00:48:10,618
You know, really, though,
I mean, they must have made

576
00:48:10,621 --> 00:48:13,351
<i>a smashing couple. Sound and Fury.</i>

577
00:48:13,457 --> 00:48:17,154
But what I don't understand is why
he didn't feel the need to tell me.

578
00:48:17,261 --> 00:48:22,062
Do you think you're channeling the spirit
of Zelda Fitzgerald tonight, my dear?

579
00:48:22,966 --> 00:48:24,831
Better than the spirit of Miss Havisham.

580
00:48:24,935 --> 00:48:27,995
Wasn't it William Blake who said that
a proper woman should never be seen

581
00:48:28,105 --> 00:48:29,800
eating or drinking?

582
00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:32,375
It was Byron.

583
00:48:33,043 --> 00:48:37,275
Now if you'll all excuse me,
the jailbait needs to school her boyfriend.

584
00:48:42,619 --> 00:48:44,246
How could you not tell me?

585
00:48:44,354 --> 00:48:46,288
Because I knew how much
you enjoyed your work

586
00:48:46,390 --> 00:48:47,821
and I didn't want to ruin it for you.

587
00:48:47,824 --> 00:48:49,951
Oh! All this time...

588
00:48:50,060 --> 00:48:53,223
All this time she knew and I didn't.

589
00:48:54,064 --> 00:48:56,760
Do you have any idea
how humiliating that is?

590
00:48:56,867 --> 00:48:59,062
- Why are you so...
- Upset?

591
00:49:01,038 --> 00:49:04,530
Okay. What if your CEO got fired

592
00:49:05,509 --> 00:49:08,876
and then you find out
that he was replaced by someone

593
00:49:09,513 --> 00:49:12,482
smarter than you, someone

594
00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:15,946
better looking than you, someone

595
00:49:16,053 --> 00:49:19,989
younger than you,
who's got a bigger dick than you?

596
00:49:20,090 --> 00:49:21,955
And then you find out

597
00:49:23,327 --> 00:49:24,954
he slept with me.

598
00:49:25,395 --> 00:49:28,387
Wouldn't you feel the least bit threatened?

599
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,294
Oh, sorry, that's right.
You're Archie Knox.

600
00:49:34,571 --> 00:49:38,098
Editor-in-chief of Stratharen Publishing!

601
00:49:38,742 --> 00:49:41,609
This man who needs to just be
this enigma, who...

602
00:49:41,712 --> 00:49:43,907
No, no. To be just.

603
00:49:45,549 --> 00:49:47,244
What does justice have to do with it?

604
00:49:47,351 --> 00:49:50,149
No, no, no, no. You said "to just be."

605
00:49:50,253 --> 00:49:54,883
That's wrong. That's splitting the infinitive.
Good editors don't split the infinitive.

606
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:56,789
It's "to be just."

607
00:49:59,496 --> 00:50:02,226
Are you correcting my grammar right now?

608
00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:04,596
I'm trying to make you better.

609
00:50:05,836 --> 00:50:06,894
Oh!

610
00:50:07,571 --> 00:50:10,131
What if I don't want to be better?

611
00:50:10,240 --> 00:50:13,403
Well, then you'll be
an associate editor forever.

612
00:50:19,116 --> 00:50:20,879
Where are you going?

613
00:50:22,052 --> 00:50:23,644
To the bathroom.

614
00:50:24,287 --> 00:50:25,879
No, don't worry.

615
00:50:27,691 --> 00:50:30,285
No, no, seriously. I'm potty trained.

616
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:40,099
Don't be a fool, Archie.
Marry that little hussy.

617
00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:52,348
I feel like a bimbo.

618
00:50:52,682 --> 00:50:54,411
Bimbo is masculine.

619
00:50:55,085 --> 00:50:57,280
Bimba would be more accurate.

620
00:50:57,387 --> 00:51:00,254
Can't we just speak like
regular people for once?

621
00:51:00,357 --> 00:51:02,757
What kinds of things do regular people say?

622
00:51:02,859 --> 00:51:04,656
They say things like,

623
00:51:05,996 --> 00:51:09,227
"I'm sorry, babe.
I should have told you about Faye."

624
00:51:10,267 --> 00:51:14,135
I'm sorry, babe.
I should have told you about Faye.

625
00:51:14,671 --> 00:51:16,798
Damn right, you should have.

626
00:51:18,108 --> 00:51:20,576
From now on, full disclosure.

627
00:51:22,012 --> 00:51:23,070
I promise.

628
00:51:23,180 --> 00:51:27,139
No more veiled, ironic insults
masquerading as conversation.

629
00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:32,021
That's history. From now on,
I'll be as humorless as a Hollywood sitcom.

630
00:51:36,026 --> 00:51:39,052
- Don't stop being you.
- Never.

631
00:51:48,505 --> 00:51:51,406
So, how'd my performance go over
with the Bloomsbury group?

632
00:51:51,508 --> 00:51:53,408
Oh, you were the talk of the party.

633
00:51:53,510 --> 00:51:58,072
Margaret said nobody's made a splash there
like that since your Aunt Hilda.

634
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:01,144
She'd be proud, wouldn't she?

635
00:52:02,586 --> 00:52:04,315
Not as proud as me.

636
00:52:22,772 --> 00:52:25,400
Can't we listen to anything
other than Badly Drawn Boy?

637
00:52:26,776 --> 00:52:28,243
No talking in the library.

638
00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:33,146
Come on.
I'll even listen to jazz or Bob Dylan.

639
00:52:35,318 --> 00:52:37,912
For the last time,
I'm preparing for the concert,

640
00:52:38,021 --> 00:52:42,651
and I want Elizabeth to think
that she's got a, you know, hip dad. So...

641
00:52:52,335 --> 00:52:53,996
I can't take it anymore.

642
00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:55,401
Be honest.

643
00:52:58,275 --> 00:53:00,072
You're hyper-editing.

644
00:53:01,411 --> 00:53:02,478
I know.

645
00:53:02,512 --> 00:53:04,844
You're treating it like
it's some kind of a test.

646
00:53:04,948 --> 00:53:07,883
- It is a test.
- You're thinking about Faye.

647
00:53:08,752 --> 00:53:10,845
You ought to be thinking about the author.

648
00:53:10,954 --> 00:53:12,751
- Mr. Putterman?
- Yeah.

649
00:53:13,390 --> 00:53:17,292
Arch, I need to know if you think
I'll ever be good at this.

650
00:53:18,094 --> 00:53:21,063
You have no idea how smart you really are.

651
00:53:25,001 --> 00:53:27,902
<i>Now I can afford to make some promises.</i>

652
00:53:28,271 --> 00:53:32,230
Let's leave here, go home
and make love all night.

653
00:53:34,711 --> 00:53:37,179
<i>You can't walk out on Citizen Kane.</i>

654
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:39,840
That's cinematic blasphemy.

655
00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:41,975
Oh. Well,

656
00:53:42,085 --> 00:53:46,784
take me home, get me naked
and I'll show you blasphemy, Sire.

657
00:53:49,759 --> 00:53:52,227
- What is with you?
- I don't know.

658
00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:56,632
It just must be something you do to me.

659
00:54:00,103 --> 00:54:01,170
Sorry.

660
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:05,300
Hello? Hi, Daddy.

661
00:54:07,210 --> 00:54:10,611
No, I'm at the movies right now.
Can I call you tomorrow?

662
00:54:10,714 --> 00:54:12,841
Okay. Love you, too. Bye.

663
00:54:17,053 --> 00:54:19,817
You haven't told him about us, have you?

664
00:54:20,223 --> 00:54:21,850
Of course I have.

665
00:54:26,863 --> 00:54:28,057
Brett?

666
00:54:29,232 --> 00:54:31,700
Jed! Hi!

667
00:54:32,168 --> 00:54:35,968
What's the matter?
You didn't take your Ritalin this morning?

668
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:40,406
- Jed, this is Archie.
- Oh, no need for an introduction.

669
00:54:40,510 --> 00:54:43,445
- It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.
- You, too.

670
00:54:44,748 --> 00:54:47,478
I'd like you to meet my new lady, Petal.

671
00:54:48,084 --> 00:54:50,382
It's great to meet you, Petal.

672
00:54:52,222 --> 00:54:54,622
She's much prettier than you said.

673
00:54:54,724 --> 00:54:57,158
You're much prettier than he said.

674
00:54:57,527 --> 00:54:59,518
He's never mentioned you.

675
00:55:00,263 --> 00:55:02,857
That's a great ensemble you got there.

676
00:55:02,966 --> 00:55:05,400
Did you convert to existentialism?

677
00:55:05,502 --> 00:55:08,869
Oh, Petal hooked me up with her stylist
on her TV show.

678
00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:10,064
TV show?

679
00:55:10,173 --> 00:55:15,008
I'm on hiatus right now doing a play in
the Village about the life of Eva Braun.

680
00:55:16,012 --> 00:55:18,173
You were born to play that role.

681
00:55:18,281 --> 00:55:21,011
She's taking me to the Emmys next week.

682
00:55:24,354 --> 00:55:27,585
- Well, it was good to see you. We should go.
- Yeah. Nice meeting you.

683
00:55:27,691 --> 00:55:32,094
<i>By the way, promise to tell your
mom and dad quepas> for me, okay?</i>

684
00:55:32,195 --> 00:55:34,527
Aren't her parents the greatest?

685
00:55:35,765 --> 00:55:38,791
Yeah. Yeah, they are. Take care.

686
00:55:42,539 --> 00:55:45,565
Daddy, I'm not sure
if I belong in this job anymore.

687
00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:48,803
I feel like I'm getting
worse instead of better.

688
00:55:49,279 --> 00:55:52,840
<i>You keep talking about
whether you're good at this or not.</i>

689
00:55:52,949 --> 00:55:55,577
<i>The real question is, do you enjoy it?</i>

690
00:55:57,554 --> 00:55:59,112
I might hate it.

691
00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:03,151
<i>Well, what about your dream of
becoming an editor?</i>

692
00:56:03,259 --> 00:56:05,591
<i>Conquering the publishing world?</i>

693
00:56:05,862 --> 00:56:08,160
I can barely conquer my laundry.

694
00:56:08,598 --> 00:56:10,065
Oh, my God.

695
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,327
I didn't even look at the time.
Daddy, I gotta go.

696
00:56:12,435 --> 00:56:13,697
<i>Is everything okay, honey?</i>

697
00:56:13,803 --> 00:56:17,068
<i>- It's totally fine. I love you. Bye.
- Love you too.</i>

698
00:56:27,650 --> 00:56:28,947
Hey.

699
00:56:29,052 --> 00:56:30,542
I'm so sorry!

700
00:56:30,887 --> 00:56:35,654
I was working on the Putterman book
and I completely lost track of time. Let's go.

701
00:56:35,759 --> 00:56:39,718
Hey. Oh, Archie, come on,
don't be angry with me. I'm sorry.

702
00:56:40,497 --> 00:56:42,988
- Where's Elizabeth?
- She's not here.

703
00:56:43,199 --> 00:56:46,930
Oh. She's late.
You wanna just wait out here for her?

704
00:56:49,305 --> 00:56:52,172
Come on, Brett. Wake up.

705
00:56:52,809 --> 00:56:55,004
She's not coming. She blew me off!

706
00:56:55,111 --> 00:56:57,705
Can't you wrap your little brain
around that idea?

707
00:56:57,814 --> 00:56:59,291
But Archie, did you check your phone?

708
00:56:59,315 --> 00:57:01,927
- She probably left you a message.
- Stop coddling me.

709
00:57:01,951 --> 00:57:03,662
We know there's no message.
There was no message from her,

710
00:57:03,686 --> 00:57:04,997
there was no message from you either.

711
00:57:05,021 --> 00:57:08,267
The difference is that she has me
for an excuse. What's your excuse?

712
00:57:08,291 --> 00:57:10,436
- I told you, I was working on my book.
- No, no, no, no, no.

713
00:57:10,460 --> 00:57:12,338
You've got to stop and think
that when you are late

714
00:57:12,362 --> 00:57:15,207
that tells people that you don't care,
that they can't count on you.

715
00:57:15,231 --> 00:57:17,276
You have to stop and think about
the people you're affecting.

716
00:57:17,300 --> 00:57:19,345
When you should be thinking about
Putterman, you think about Faye.

717
00:57:19,369 --> 00:57:21,514
When you should be thinking about me,
you think about Putterman...

718
00:57:21,538 --> 00:57:24,138
Damn it, Archie, I'm not your daughter!

719
00:57:25,308 --> 00:57:28,187
Yeah, you know what?
I screwed up, I was late.

720
00:57:28,211 --> 00:57:31,374
But you can't blame me
for being a shitty father!

721
00:57:41,224 --> 00:57:43,715
You're right, I am a shitty father.

722
00:57:49,399 --> 00:57:51,162
What was I thinking?

723
00:57:56,139 --> 00:57:57,766
It was so awful.

724
00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:00,438
He wouldn't speak to me all last night
or this morning.

725
00:58:00,543 --> 00:58:05,242
So, Archie is acting like the self-absorbed
jerk that I warned you he was.

726
00:58:05,348 --> 00:58:07,282
I'm ashamed to admit it,

727
00:58:07,383 --> 00:58:10,284
but I think Archie's starting to
make me feel older than I am.

728
00:58:10,386 --> 00:58:13,685
Do you know that I can't even remember
the last time I went to a club?

729
00:58:13,790 --> 00:58:16,759
Or that I watched a movie on Lifetime
instead of a Hitler documentary?

730
00:58:16,860 --> 00:58:21,456
- I don't even get proofed anymore.
- What's next, a senior-citizen discount?

731
00:58:21,631 --> 00:58:22,962
Thank you.

732
00:58:23,633 --> 00:58:27,194
Is it possible that I've been wrong
about Archie all this time?

733
00:58:27,303 --> 00:58:31,569
That his attraction to me isn't about
sleeping with a younger woman,

734
00:58:31,674 --> 00:58:33,665
but it's really about safety?

735
00:58:34,711 --> 00:58:36,941
He's already lived my life.

736
00:58:37,747 --> 00:58:40,443
There's nothing unexpected about me.

737
00:58:40,550 --> 00:58:45,487
There's no problem that I can bring home
that he doesn't have the right answer to.

738
00:58:46,222 --> 00:58:48,816
He thinks he has the right answer to.

739
00:58:49,292 --> 00:58:52,750
But it works both ways
because I want those answers.

740
00:58:53,296 --> 00:58:55,059
I need those answers.

741
00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:57,792
So he's like this cheat
sheet for your life?

742
00:58:57,901 --> 00:58:59,391
Is that a good thing?

743
00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:03,871
You really shouldn't pose philosophical
questions to graduates of FIT.

744
00:59:03,973 --> 00:59:05,770
Oh, my God. Honey.

745
00:59:06,509 --> 00:59:08,739
Someone is reading your book.

746
00:59:11,714 --> 00:59:13,443
I don't believe it.

747
00:59:17,954 --> 00:59:19,353
Key, please.

748
00:59:19,622 --> 00:59:20,953
Thank you.

749
00:59:22,458 --> 00:59:25,052
Arch! Arch!

750
00:59:26,729 --> 00:59:28,856
Do you know that as we speak,

751
00:59:28,965 --> 00:59:33,425
a woman's eyes are moving over
my precarious, profound punctuation

752
00:59:33,536 --> 00:59:36,164
and my sensible, subtle sentences?

753
00:59:36,539 --> 00:59:38,939
Don't you just love alliteration?

754
00:59:39,175 --> 00:59:40,870
Arch? Do you hear me?

755
00:59:40,977 --> 00:59:42,945
I made a mark on the world.

756
00:59:43,046 --> 00:59:47,176
And I plan to celebrate by poisoning
you with my shrimp scampi!

757
00:59:47,283 --> 00:59:50,480
<i>So come on down
and let the rapprochement begin.</i>

758
00:59:56,159 --> 00:59:58,389
You must be Archie's daughter.

759
00:59:58,828 --> 01:00:00,455
Elizabeth, right?

760
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:05,929
You have his smile.

761
01:00:06,970 --> 01:00:08,870
His teeth are veneered.

762
01:00:09,973 --> 01:00:11,270
Oh, well...

763
01:00:12,508 --> 01:00:14,999
Maybe I'll see you around sometime.

764
01:01:00,123 --> 01:01:01,249
Arch.

765
01:01:08,364 --> 01:01:09,763
Who is she?

766
01:01:23,312 --> 01:01:24,677
Who is she?

767
01:01:32,388 --> 01:01:33,753
My way out.

768
01:02:18,234 --> 01:02:20,134
So, you dating anyone?

769
01:02:20,970 --> 01:02:22,528
No one special.

770
01:02:24,073 --> 01:02:28,635
Whatever happened to that older guy
you told me about? The big shot editor?

771
01:02:28,811 --> 01:02:31,109
- I had to get rid of him.
- Ah.

772
01:02:32,348 --> 01:02:34,248
Probably for the best.

773
01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:37,443
Your brother's down. Alone this time.

774
01:02:37,553 --> 01:02:40,454
I guess he broke up with the cosmetologist.

775
01:02:40,790 --> 01:02:43,224
Why is it "probably for the best?"

776
01:02:43,326 --> 01:02:44,486
What?

777
01:02:46,129 --> 01:02:50,498
When I said I got rid of him,
you said it was "probably for the best."

778
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:51,692
Why?

779
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:57,198
I just want to know if there's something
from my childhood.

780
01:02:57,306 --> 01:03:00,969
Something I'm unaware of
that's the key to my life with men.

781
01:03:01,077 --> 01:03:03,341
You know, like a relationship Rosebud.

782
01:03:04,814 --> 01:03:06,645
<i>You finally saw Citizen Kane?</i>

783
01:03:06,749 --> 01:03:08,114
Yeah, Arch...

784
01:03:08,818 --> 01:03:11,548
Stop changing the subject.
Answer my question.

785
01:03:11,654 --> 01:03:15,283
Well, yeah... Listen, if
it's all the same, I...

786
01:03:15,992 --> 01:03:18,187
I'd just soon buy you a sled.

787
01:03:30,072 --> 01:03:32,097
- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, honey.

788
01:03:34,510 --> 01:03:37,308
- What's the matter?
- Nothing's the matter.

789
01:03:38,681 --> 01:03:41,377
What do you think? We had it repainted.

790
01:03:42,418 --> 01:03:44,613
- What color is it?
- Alabaster.

791
01:03:47,256 --> 01:03:49,747
No one can even tell the difference.

792
01:03:50,426 --> 01:03:52,189
It looks much better.

793
01:04:14,684 --> 01:04:15,776
Hey.

794
01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:19,987
Hey, Ethan.

795
01:04:22,592 --> 01:04:24,219
Dad's got cancer.

796
01:04:28,364 --> 01:04:30,594
Well, it was really very easy to hide.

797
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,897
Up until this past month,
I didn't even feel sick.

798
01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:38,301
Plus I didn't really want it to interfere
with your lives.

799
01:04:39,609 --> 01:04:41,236
You mean, my life.

800
01:04:42,178 --> 01:04:45,773
Because, evidently,
I wasn't grown up enough to handle it.

801
01:04:47,016 --> 01:04:49,280
I can't believe you told him first!

802
01:04:49,385 --> 01:04:51,353
What does it matter who found out first?

803
01:04:51,454 --> 01:04:54,287
Because it's not right to keep secrets
from family.

804
01:04:54,891 --> 01:04:56,552
You're one to talk.

805
01:04:58,361 --> 01:05:00,022
What's that supposed to mean?

806
01:05:01,764 --> 01:05:03,391
I talked to Jed.

807
01:05:03,499 --> 01:05:05,993
He told me all about this Eddie Albert guy
you've been shacked up with.

808
01:05:06,202 --> 01:05:08,397
All right. Let's knock it off, kids, huh?

809
01:05:08,504 --> 01:05:10,335
Dad, how much longer?

810
01:05:10,940 --> 01:05:12,464
We can take it.

811
01:05:24,754 --> 01:05:27,723
I made your favorite, honey.
Soft-shell crabs.

812
01:05:30,026 --> 01:05:34,326
Dad is dying and the only thing
you can think to talk about

813
01:05:34,430 --> 01:05:37,126
is alabaster paint and soft-shell crab?

814
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,298
What is wrong with this family?

815
01:05:41,771 --> 01:05:43,261
We gotta eat.

816
01:06:47,470 --> 01:06:50,200
I brought sushi and you're gonna eat it.

817
01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:54,067
So, what can I do to cheer you up, my love?

818
01:06:56,679 --> 01:06:58,271
You could leave.

819
01:06:58,414 --> 01:07:01,178
My newest, brilliant work of creation.

820
01:07:01,283 --> 01:07:03,183
- It's cute.
- It's yours.

821
01:07:03,786 --> 01:07:05,754
- Try it on.
- Maybe another time.

822
01:07:05,855 --> 01:07:09,347
- I would love to see it on a regular body.
- Regular body?

823
01:07:09,458 --> 01:07:12,484
- Is this your idea of cheering me up?
- What? I bought you sushi.

824
01:07:12,595 --> 01:07:14,756
- I hate sushi!
- Honey, I...

825
01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:16,798
I saw Archie last night.

826
01:07:17,967 --> 01:07:19,127
You did?

827
01:07:19,235 --> 01:07:22,932
I'll tell you all about it
as soon as you try this slip on.

828
01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:27,668
- How are we friends?
- 'Cause you pay me so well?

829
01:07:28,944 --> 01:07:31,811
He was having dinner at Balthazar.

830
01:07:31,914 --> 01:07:34,439
- Was he with someone?
- Couldn't tell.

831
01:07:35,351 --> 01:07:39,412
The point is, Brett, he's obviously
well enough to be seen in public

832
01:07:39,522 --> 01:07:41,456
and, you know,

833
01:07:41,557 --> 01:07:43,991
maybe it's time for you, too, babe.

834
01:07:44,593 --> 01:07:48,120
Honey. Your break-up diet
is working wonders.

835
01:08:05,948 --> 01:08:08,143
<i>- Hello?
- FAYE: Is that you, Brett?</i>

836
01:08:09,318 --> 01:08:11,718
<i>- Faye?
- Listen, I don't have time to talk.</i>

837
01:08:11,821 --> 01:08:14,221
Binky Urban's having a cocktail party
I have to go to.

838
01:08:14,323 --> 01:08:16,382
So I need you to deal with Cas Coyote.

839
01:08:16,492 --> 01:08:18,824
He'll be waiting for you
at Michael's at 10:00.

840
01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:20,088
10:00 tonight?

841
01:08:20,196 --> 01:08:23,026
Yes, he and his best friend, Jack Daniels,
are touring the East Coast.

842
01:08:23,032 --> 01:08:25,726
They managed to slip in a few meetings
before heading off to Europe.

843
01:08:25,734 --> 01:08:27,861
It's your job to guarantee Gitlin & Stern

844
01:08:27,970 --> 01:08:30,004
the exclusive first look
to his rock 'n' roll memoir.

845
01:08:30,005 --> 01:08:32,200
<i>- Understand?
- Faye, I'm really not feeling well.</i>

846
01:08:32,308 --> 01:08:33,932
<i>- I don't think I'm the person...
- Bloody hell!</i>

847
01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:36,275
Then stick a few Vicodin up your ass.

848
01:08:36,378 --> 01:08:37,675
Look, darling.

849
01:08:37,780 --> 01:08:41,238
You're not shagging our favorite ex
anymore. So no more special treatment.

850
01:08:41,350 --> 01:08:43,215
Oh, and I won't reimburse you
more than $300,

851
01:08:43,319 --> 01:08:45,583
so no beluga and no Cristal.

852
01:08:45,688 --> 01:08:48,782
That's champagne and caviar,
in case you were wondering.

853
01:08:48,891 --> 01:08:50,188
Thank you.

854
01:09:14,750 --> 01:09:17,378
Excuse me, I'm looking for Cas Coyote.

855
01:09:25,094 --> 01:09:26,459
Mr. Coyote?

856
01:09:29,532 --> 01:09:32,467
Sure, sweetheart.
Who shall I make it out to?

857
01:09:33,369 --> 01:09:35,735
Oh! No, I'm... I'm Brett Eisenberg.

858
01:09:37,973 --> 01:09:39,736
From Gitlin & Stern.

859
01:09:40,843 --> 01:09:42,572
- Where's Faye?
- She's...

860
01:09:43,245 --> 01:09:45,611
She's having a little problem with...

861
01:09:45,714 --> 01:09:47,045
With what?

862
01:09:47,783 --> 01:09:49,011
Herpes.

863
01:09:54,390 --> 01:09:55,755
Let's eat.

864
01:09:57,593 --> 01:10:00,460
Two orders of beluga caviar.
Two bottles of Cristal.

865
01:10:00,563 --> 01:10:02,531
WAITER: And for the young lady?

866
01:10:05,434 --> 01:10:07,732
I'll... I'll have a crème brûlée.

867
01:10:10,439 --> 01:10:12,270
So, Mr. Coyote.

868
01:10:12,374 --> 01:10:14,604
Why don't you tell me about the memoir?

869
01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:17,042
What it's about, how you see it?

870
01:10:17,947 --> 01:10:20,916
Basically, I am seeking

871
01:10:21,450 --> 01:10:25,750
an initial print run of half a million
copies at an SRP of $24.95.

872
01:10:25,854 --> 01:10:28,015
Obviously, I'd want no books
on consignment,

873
01:10:28,123 --> 01:10:31,388
plus a guarantee for a firm sale.

874
01:10:31,860 --> 01:10:35,352
Absolutely. I mean,
it's even more reasons to go with us.

875
01:10:35,464 --> 01:10:37,091
Our subsidiary rights department is

876
01:10:37,199 --> 01:10:38,666
considered the best in the business.

877
01:10:38,767 --> 01:10:40,928
And our relationship
with Hollywood is also incredible.

878
01:10:41,036 --> 01:10:43,596
We have a direct department that...

879
01:10:43,706 --> 01:10:45,731
CAS: Not a film sale!

880
01:10:45,841 --> 01:10:49,299
A firm sale, firm!
You do know what that is, don't you?

881
01:10:49,745 --> 01:10:52,908
Of course.
That's what our legal department does.

882
01:10:53,148 --> 01:10:56,413
She's a flunky, Cas.
A little paper-pusher they sent over here

883
01:10:56,518 --> 01:10:59,715
to buy us dinner and jerk you off.

884
01:10:59,822 --> 01:11:02,586
Look, it's not my job to negotiate deals.

885
01:11:02,691 --> 01:11:05,023
I help authors find their voice.

886
01:11:05,127 --> 01:11:07,118
- Let's split, honey.
- Please, no, wait.

887
01:11:07,229 --> 01:11:10,494
I'm sorry if I upset you.
I'm just a little under the weather.

888
01:11:10,599 --> 01:11:12,829
I'm sorry I was late, honey.

889
01:11:12,935 --> 01:11:15,028
Traffic was a terror.

890
01:11:15,137 --> 01:11:17,264
Hey, Cas Coyote.

891
01:11:19,174 --> 01:11:20,835
Archie Knox!

892
01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:23,976
ARCHIE: I'm flattered you remember me.
CAS: Remember you?

893
01:11:24,079 --> 01:11:27,742
Honey, this is the guy who introduced
me to Charles Bukowski.

894
01:11:27,850 --> 01:11:29,750
Your chiropractor?

895
01:11:29,852 --> 01:11:33,185
- Anyway, you mind if I join you?
- Sit.

896
01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:36,349
Congratulations are in order
if you're breaking bread with Brett.

897
01:11:36,458 --> 01:11:39,086
Looks like you're planning to sign
with Gitlin & Stern?

898
01:11:39,194 --> 01:11:41,560
Well, we haven't actually settled on
anything yet.

899
01:11:41,664 --> 01:11:46,294
Well, you better hurry. You have before you
the savviest editrix in this town.

900
01:11:46,402 --> 01:11:49,528
I've tried to hire her myself for the last
couple of years and she turned me down.

901
01:11:49,538 --> 01:11:52,530
You know why? She says I'm a letch.

902
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:55,876
Archie, you are a letch!

903
01:11:56,745 --> 01:11:59,111
Something to eat, Mr. Knox?

904
01:11:59,214 --> 01:12:02,112
Well, why don't you just ask Jacques to
whip up whatever he's in the mood for.

905
01:12:02,117 --> 01:12:04,278
Make sure you put this
on my personal account.

906
01:12:04,386 --> 01:12:05,910
And cancel

907
01:12:06,422 --> 01:12:10,586
whatever the young lady ordered
and bring her a bowl of chicken soup.

908
01:12:16,465 --> 01:12:19,923
Why do you think your Dad didn't tell you
he was sick?

909
01:12:20,669 --> 01:12:22,637
He didn't think I could handle it.

910
01:12:24,206 --> 01:12:28,540
You were right.
No matter how hard he tries, he just...

911
01:12:29,812 --> 01:12:32,303
He can't stop treating me like a little girl.

912
01:12:32,414 --> 01:12:37,010
Oh, no. He was trying to be noble.
He didn't want to put you through that.

913
01:12:44,193 --> 01:12:46,627
How are you doing on the drinking?

914
01:12:49,098 --> 01:12:51,430
I'm doing pretty good, actually.

915
01:12:51,867 --> 01:12:55,564
I'm taking that pill that makes
you puke when you drink and

916
01:12:56,004 --> 01:12:58,438
went back to AA for a
little refresher course.

917
01:12:58,540 --> 01:13:02,271
You know what they give you
when you mark your sobriety, don't you?

918
01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:04,243
A plastic poker chip.

919
01:13:06,715 --> 01:13:09,980
I wonder what they give you
at Gamblers Anonymous.

920
01:13:13,455 --> 01:13:15,753
You screwed it all up, Arch.

921
01:13:17,126 --> 01:13:19,356
<i>That's my raison d'etre, baby.</i>

922
01:13:21,130 --> 01:13:24,930
But if it makes you feel better,
I was miserable without you.

923
01:13:25,534 --> 01:13:27,866
And you should see Mickey.

924
01:13:28,570 --> 01:13:30,868
Like his parents got divorced.

925
01:13:32,508 --> 01:13:36,376
Well, the important thing is
that he doesn't blame himself.

926
01:13:39,114 --> 01:13:40,376
Hey.

927
01:13:41,016 --> 01:13:42,381
You want to

928
01:13:44,019 --> 01:13:45,782
sleep over my place?

929
01:13:47,356 --> 01:13:49,017
In the guest room?

930
01:13:53,395 --> 01:13:55,158
I didn't catch that.

931
01:13:55,697 --> 01:13:56,789
Yes.

932
01:14:10,012 --> 01:14:11,309
Go away.

933
01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:13,277
Go away?

934
01:14:13,849 --> 01:14:16,545
Methinks me lady has flipped her lid.

935
01:14:17,786 --> 01:14:20,254
You used to always want my input.

936
01:14:20,689 --> 01:14:24,022
Well, I realized I was relying
way too much on your judgment.

937
01:14:24,693 --> 01:14:26,820
I rely on your judgment.

938
01:14:26,929 --> 01:14:29,557
I ask you to look over my work
from time to time.

939
01:14:29,665 --> 01:14:33,897
You don't need my help, though.
If I wasn't here, you'd be just fine.

940
01:14:34,002 --> 01:14:37,597
Oh, really?
You planning on going somewhere?

941
01:14:43,178 --> 01:14:45,146
Move the dialog to the bottom of the page.

942
01:14:45,247 --> 01:14:48,580
It will create more suspense
for the chapter break.

943
01:14:53,188 --> 01:14:54,416
Psst!

944
01:14:55,591 --> 01:14:59,152
You love me. Don't even try to deny it.

945
01:15:08,770 --> 01:15:10,738
- Hi, Dad.
- Hello, baby.

946
01:15:11,974 --> 01:15:15,933
- Well, nice to meet you, Archie.
- ARCHIE: Nice to meet you, Robert. Bob.

947
01:15:28,590 --> 01:15:31,286
- Was the crab a little off?
- Oh, no, no.

948
01:15:31,693 --> 01:15:34,992
- What vintage were they?
- I thought they tasted fine.

949
01:15:35,097 --> 01:15:39,056
Me, too. It was very crabby. Arch?

950
01:15:42,170 --> 01:15:46,072
Well, I do appreciate the attempt
you've all made at avoiding the obvious.

951
01:15:46,174 --> 01:15:48,608
It was a worthy effort. But let's

952
01:15:49,177 --> 01:15:50,940
cut to the chase, shall we?

953
01:15:51,046 --> 01:15:53,014
Robert, how old are you?

954
01:15:55,417 --> 01:15:56,816
Fifty-seven.

955
01:15:58,687 --> 01:16:00,052
And I'm 50.

956
01:16:00,255 --> 01:16:04,783
So, that makes me younger than Robert.

957
01:16:05,561 --> 01:16:09,292
So, everybody feeling good about that
right now?

958
01:16:09,598 --> 01:16:11,429
I am very relieved.

959
01:16:12,467 --> 01:16:13,627
Grow up, Ethan.

960
01:16:13,735 --> 01:16:16,795
How old were you
when Brett was in third grade?

961
01:16:20,442 --> 01:16:24,276
Brett skipped the third grade.

962
01:16:26,782 --> 01:16:28,306
Well played.

963
01:16:28,417 --> 01:16:31,853
Honey? Why don't you come
and help me with the coffee?

964
01:16:32,654 --> 01:16:35,953
- Yeah.
- I made sponge cake. Sugar free.

965
01:16:37,693 --> 01:16:39,422
He's very charming.

966
01:16:40,929 --> 01:16:42,419
Very handsome.

967
01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:45,590
Clearly, very successful.

968
01:16:45,934 --> 01:16:48,425
I don't need a recap of his resume.

969
01:16:49,504 --> 01:16:51,802
I want to know if you like him.

970
01:16:53,642 --> 01:16:57,476
What's not to like? He's very charming.

971
01:16:59,681 --> 01:17:01,376
We need more cream.

972
01:17:14,329 --> 01:17:17,321
Can't you find kids your own age
to play with?

973
01:17:29,344 --> 01:17:32,313
- Take as much time as you need.
- I will.

974
01:17:33,515 --> 01:17:36,109
But don't forget that I need you, too.

975
01:17:37,185 --> 01:17:40,052
More than I've ever needed anybody before.

976
01:17:56,271 --> 01:18:00,071
Because you may not think so,
but you're different.

977
01:18:01,109 --> 01:18:02,770
From all the rest?

978
01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:36,234
Brett? Honey. Wake up.

979
01:18:37,746 --> 01:18:39,873
What is it? What's wrong?
Why are you out of bed?

980
01:18:39,981 --> 01:18:41,346
Honey...

981
01:18:42,617 --> 01:18:44,608
Archie's in the hospital.

982
01:18:46,621 --> 01:18:49,522
His friend Mickey called
a little while ago.

983
01:18:49,624 --> 01:18:52,149
They brought him in late last night.

984
01:18:52,427 --> 01:18:56,227
Severe front-to-back abdominal pain,
high fever, rapid pulse.

985
01:18:56,698 --> 01:19:00,725
If I had to guess,
I'd say it was an acute pancreatitis.

986
01:19:02,871 --> 01:19:04,463
He's a diabetic.

987
01:19:06,475 --> 01:19:07,703
Brett...

988
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,510
Is Archie alcoholic?

989
01:19:18,186 --> 01:19:19,312
Yeah.

990
01:19:25,026 --> 01:19:28,587
Look, you know I don't like
to get involved in your life.

991
01:19:29,431 --> 01:19:31,899
But this is the reason I don't...

992
01:19:32,701 --> 01:19:36,159
That I'm worried about
this relationship with this man.

993
01:19:38,974 --> 01:19:41,909
If Archie isn't going to
take care of himself,

994
01:19:42,911 --> 01:19:44,606
someone else will.

995
01:19:47,682 --> 01:19:49,081
I don't want

996
01:19:52,020 --> 01:19:54,750
you to have to spend your life that way.

997
01:19:57,692 --> 01:19:59,057
Where is he?

998
01:20:00,395 --> 01:20:02,693
Manhattan Hospital. Come on, get dressed.

999
01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:06,564
- I'll drive you back to the city.
- No, Dad. Are you crazy?

1000
01:20:06,735 --> 01:20:09,863
Well, Mickey didn't exactly sound
like a crisis manager.

1001
01:20:09,971 --> 01:20:12,565
He's a Pulitzer Prize-winning author.

1002
01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:13,900
Yeah.

1003
01:20:14,843 --> 01:20:17,710
And you're Brett Eisenberg, MD.

1004
01:20:19,114 --> 01:20:20,274
MD?

1005
01:20:22,217 --> 01:20:23,616
My Daughter.

1006
01:20:55,350 --> 01:20:58,319
Excuse me.
I'm looking for Archie Knox's room.

1007
01:20:58,420 --> 01:21:00,911
The Knox suite is right behind you.

1008
01:21:02,290 --> 01:21:03,655
Thank you.

1009
01:21:04,092 --> 01:21:06,959
Just a minute, miss. Sorry to bug you.

1010
01:21:07,062 --> 01:21:10,828
But your father hasn't filled out
his dinner menu yet. Would you mind?

1011
01:21:11,132 --> 01:21:13,464
- He's not my father.
- Excuse me?

1012
01:21:14,469 --> 01:21:16,266
I said he's not my father!

1013
01:21:16,371 --> 01:21:19,067
He's my boyfriend. I have sex with him!

1014
01:21:20,041 --> 01:21:22,475
Either way, he eats, right?

1015
01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:27,541
Right. Sorry.

1016
01:21:36,391 --> 01:21:40,418
He's my boyfriend. I have sex with him!

1017
01:21:41,363 --> 01:21:43,695
<i>Great. It's the cast of Cocoon.</i>

1018
01:21:45,033 --> 01:21:46,660
- Hi, Mickey.
- Hey.

1019
01:21:47,469 --> 01:21:51,303
- Oh, Mickey, your hugging hasn't improved.
- Lack of practice.

1020
01:21:53,375 --> 01:21:57,004
- I think I'll go steal some drugs.
- Get me something good.

1021
01:22:04,386 --> 01:22:06,377
What are they feeding you?

1022
01:22:07,622 --> 01:22:11,752
I had asked for the antidote to you,
but it was back-ordered.

1023
01:22:14,296 --> 01:22:15,388
Here.

1024
01:22:17,465 --> 01:22:19,330
Am I ordering for two?

1025
01:22:21,202 --> 01:22:23,193
I have to get back home.

1026
01:22:23,305 --> 01:22:26,103
If you leave, I'm gonna
put that in my book.

1027
01:22:26,207 --> 01:22:29,108
Oh, no. You are not
writing a book about us.

1028
01:22:29,210 --> 01:22:31,303
Most women would be flattered.

1029
01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:33,608
Being a muse is demeaning.

1030
01:22:33,715 --> 01:22:37,344
Did you know that Renoir only used
to paint women he thought were dumb?

1031
01:22:37,452 --> 01:22:39,079
I told you that.

1032
01:22:40,555 --> 01:22:42,250
How's your old man?

1033
01:22:43,058 --> 01:22:44,457
Which one?

1034
01:23:01,343 --> 01:23:03,436
Were you drinking, Archie?

1035
01:23:04,913 --> 01:23:07,040
Is that why you're here?

1036
01:23:12,153 --> 01:23:16,112
Actually, I've been drinking all along.

1037
01:23:35,143 --> 01:23:37,805
<i>I wish you would have let me come
to your father's funeral.</i>

1038
01:23:37,912 --> 01:23:41,643
<i>I could have wiped your tears.
I'm really very good at that.</i>

1039
01:23:42,317 --> 01:23:44,376
I'll be okay. I promise.

1040
01:23:44,986 --> 01:23:47,887
<i>I love you, babe.
I'm here if you need me.</i>

1041
01:23:48,823 --> 01:23:50,848
I know. Thanks.

1042
01:24:04,672 --> 01:24:06,071
Need a push?

1043
01:24:06,608 --> 01:24:07,973
No, thanks.

1044
01:24:12,414 --> 01:24:14,211
I know I'm not Dad,

1045
01:24:15,483 --> 01:24:17,974
but if you ever need to talk to anyone
about anything,

1046
01:24:18,086 --> 01:24:21,783
I could try and manufacture something
that sounds lucid.

1047
01:24:27,829 --> 01:24:30,127
The only thing that I can't bear...

1048
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:33,592
It's killing me.

1049
01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:39,931
Is the thought that he was worried about me
when he died.

1050
01:24:41,576 --> 01:24:43,203
He wasn't worried.

1051
01:24:44,746 --> 01:24:46,338
How do you know?

1052
01:24:47,415 --> 01:24:51,317
I was here the morning
that Dad got the phone call from Mickey.

1053
01:24:52,487 --> 01:24:54,216
I don't understand.

1054
01:24:54,823 --> 01:24:57,087
Well, after he hung up the phone, I...

1055
01:24:57,992 --> 01:25:00,961
You know, I told him
I would gladly assassinate Archie,

1056
01:25:01,062 --> 01:25:02,529
if that's what he wanted.

1057
01:25:02,630 --> 01:25:06,794
Like a dying wish
kind of vendetta-like thing.

1058
01:25:06,901 --> 01:25:09,392
- That's very comforting.
- Yeah.

1059
01:25:12,173 --> 01:25:16,803
Anyway, he said, "Thanks,

1060
01:25:17,145 --> 01:25:19,943
"but I think Brett can
take care of herself."

1061
01:25:24,819 --> 01:25:26,616
He really said that?

1062
01:25:27,489 --> 01:25:31,255
Oh, yeah. That's straight from the mouth
of Robert Eisenberg,

1063
01:25:31,726 --> 01:25:32,784
MD.

1064
01:25:35,163 --> 01:25:36,323
MD.

1065
01:25:37,565 --> 01:25:38,759
My Dad.

1066
01:25:43,671 --> 01:25:46,868
Thanks for offering
to kill someone for me, Ethan.

1067
01:25:47,175 --> 01:25:48,437
Anytime.

1068
01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:56,109
I don't think you wanna go.

1069
01:26:47,335 --> 01:26:50,634
Why do I feel like I'm about to enter
an lbsen play?

1070
01:26:51,573 --> 01:26:54,269
You're too skinny to play Hedda Gabler.

1071
01:27:14,495 --> 01:27:16,224
You look beautiful.

1072
01:27:18,833 --> 01:27:21,427
So, how's your mom doing?

1073
01:27:22,170 --> 01:27:23,535
She's okay.

1074
01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:26,639
Honestly, I think she's relieved.

1075
01:27:27,675 --> 01:27:30,405
It was hard for her. Watching him suffer.

1076
01:27:34,482 --> 01:27:36,006
Is that for me?

1077
01:27:37,318 --> 01:27:41,812
It's the rest of your things. I had a
Chinese laundry wash it all for you.

1078
01:27:42,156 --> 01:27:45,319
I hope that means they folded my socks
into those neat, little cubes.

1079
01:27:45,426 --> 01:27:46,791
Definitely.

1080
01:27:52,400 --> 01:27:56,461
Do you have
your BlackBerry with you?

1081
01:27:58,506 --> 01:27:59,803
Of course.

1082
01:28:00,408 --> 01:28:02,308
Would you take it out?

1083
01:28:18,359 --> 01:28:21,658
I don't think you did it right.
I'm not getting anything.

1084
01:28:21,763 --> 01:28:23,628
Let me try this again.

1085
01:28:34,842 --> 01:28:36,104
Read it.

1086
01:28:56,564 --> 01:28:58,259
I'm sorry, Archie.

1087
01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:15,312
You shouldn't be drinking soda.

1088
01:29:16,984 --> 01:29:18,952
- Why not?
- Because of your blood sugar.

1089
01:29:19,053 --> 01:29:23,183
No, not why shouldn't I be drinking a soda.
Why won't you marry me?

1090
01:29:26,094 --> 01:29:30,292
- Are you asking me to explain?
- Yes. I am.

1091
01:29:42,076 --> 01:29:45,534
Because when I look at you,

1092
01:29:48,649 --> 01:29:50,276
I see a teacher.

1093
01:29:53,421 --> 01:29:58,017
But when you look at me,
you see a student.

1094
01:30:00,995 --> 01:30:03,828
Because you like to run away.

1095
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:08,025
It's part of who you are.

1096
01:30:12,607 --> 01:30:14,905
Because, in the end,

1097
01:30:15,877 --> 01:30:18,937
a girl can't grow up
until she loses a father

1098
01:30:19,847 --> 01:30:21,644
and leaves an Archie.

1099
01:30:29,724 --> 01:30:32,352
You'll always have your pick of women.

1100
01:30:35,396 --> 01:30:36,886
You know that.

1101
01:30:38,332 --> 01:30:43,269
Can't you at least pretend that the idea of
me with somebody else is hard for you?

1102
01:30:53,915 --> 01:30:56,110
Is this a consolation prize?

1103
01:30:57,018 --> 01:30:58,315
No.

1104
01:30:58,419 --> 01:31:00,216
Should I open it now?

1105
01:31:00,488 --> 01:31:01,887
Maybe you should wait.

1106
01:31:01,989 --> 01:31:04,617
You know, it's more dramatic that way.

1107
01:31:18,206 --> 01:31:20,333
Does it have a happy ending?

1108
01:31:21,242 --> 01:31:22,834
We deserved one.

1109
01:31:34,822 --> 01:31:36,449
Goodbye, Archie.

1110
01:31:42,029 --> 01:31:43,690
Goodbye, Pumpkin.

1111
01:33:06,314 --> 01:33:07,645
- The End -