1 00:02:02,772 --> 00:02:04,637 You suck. - Oh, my God. 2 00:02:04,808 --> 00:02:07,007 Get those tards off the stage right now. 3 00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:16,509 - Let's bail. - Don't we wanna see if we win? 4 00:02:16,686 --> 00:02:18,483 Come on. 5 00:02:19,823 --> 00:02:22,587 I can't wait to graduate and get the hell out of this place. 6 00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:24,659 I thought we had some intricate harmonies. 7 00:02:24,828 --> 00:02:26,693 Should've done "Mama Said Knock You Out. " 8 00:02:26,863 --> 00:02:30,959 I'll tell you one thing, when we graduate from college, we're gonna soar like eagles. 9 00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:33,034 Yeah, we just haven't peaked yet. 10 00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:36,639 We're the ones who are going to get the cool jobs, the sexy husbands... 11 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,768 ...the sky-high self-esteem. 12 00:02:38,942 --> 00:02:41,502 Right. Today's geeks turn out to be tomorrow's winners. 13 00:02:41,678 --> 00:02:45,375 So screw college because, ladies, real life starts now. 14 00:02:45,548 --> 00:02:47,641 Yeah, and we are gonna have it all. 15 00:02:48,184 --> 00:02:50,982 Look out, world, here we come. 16 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:00,756 - Oh! - Ah! 17 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,454 Dang it. 18 00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:03,997 Oh. 19 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,191 Your blouse. 20 00:03:05,368 --> 00:03:07,359 - I have a moist towelette. - No worries. 21 00:03:07,537 --> 00:03:09,596 I'll just hit T.J. Maxx on the way to work. 22 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,801 The max for the minimum, smart. 23 00:03:11,975 --> 00:03:15,775 - I have to go. I'm graduating students today. - Oh, great. 24 00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:17,476 Well, hang in there. 25 00:03:17,647 --> 00:03:19,478 Like a cat on a branch. 26 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:21,974 - See you later. - Bye. 27 00:03:22,151 --> 00:03:23,379 Have a great day. 28 00:03:25,555 --> 00:03:28,388 Graduation day is always very emotional for me. 29 00:03:29,058 --> 00:03:33,324 The bond that we share with our canine friends is a special one. 30 00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:36,297 Dogs don't care how much money you make... 31 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:40,835 ...what kind of car you drive, or whose name's on the back of your jeans. 32 00:03:41,437 --> 00:03:44,167 They don't care if you cry a lot at commercials... 33 00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:46,831 ...or have a mustache that you haven't waxed. 34 00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:49,706 Dogs don't care if you shame-eat when you're lonely. 35 00:03:50,747 --> 00:03:54,114 And I never, ever feel judged by dogs. 36 00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:57,720 Because dogs love your insides. 37 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,312 And that's why I love dogs. 38 00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:10,392 Come on. 39 00:04:12,635 --> 00:04:14,466 - Gayle, I really don't... - Oh, over here. 40 00:04:14,637 --> 00:04:16,901 Gayle, I just wanted to thank you for everything. 41 00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:18,836 Pepper's already changing my life. 42 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,600 Oh, she's a good dog. 43 00:04:21,044 --> 00:04:25,174 Well, ever since I met Pepper and you, I've felt much more confident. 44 00:04:26,049 --> 00:04:29,143 Life is just that much easier. 45 00:04:29,319 --> 00:04:31,253 Running errands, taking the train. 46 00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:34,086 I even think that I might be ready to start dating. 47 00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:37,715 Something I never would've dreamed of before I met you and Pepper. 48 00:04:40,396 --> 00:04:42,261 - Really? - Yeah. 49 00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:49,598 You know, I wouldn't usually ask this of a client, but what the hell. 50 00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:53,833 I have two tickets to the Amy Grant concert on Friday. 51 00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,069 Would you like to go with me? 52 00:04:56,679 --> 00:05:00,410 Well, you see, the thing is, I only love Amy Grant. 53 00:05:01,117 --> 00:05:02,709 Wow. 54 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:03,909 May I? 55 00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:05,845 Oh. 56 00:05:15,098 --> 00:05:17,760 I'm sorry. You know what? I've got plans. 57 00:05:17,934 --> 00:05:19,595 Come on, Pepper. 58 00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,804 Senator Hartmann's office. 59 00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,908 Senator Hartmann's office. 60 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,038 Ma'am? 61 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:35,317 One shot from this baby can blow a man's spine out his back. 62 00:05:38,788 --> 00:05:41,552 I thought that you could use a whole bottle. 63 00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:51,262 Something else? 64 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,734 Have you had a chance to read my notes on fuel efficiency? 65 00:05:55,905 --> 00:05:58,999 I really think my ideas offer a bold bipartisan... 66 00:05:59,175 --> 00:06:00,369 - Betty. - Becky. 67 00:06:00,543 --> 00:06:04,001 Honey, why would a sweet gal like you wanna get involved... 68 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:07,206 ...in stinky old policy debates? 69 00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:13,754 Well, as much as I love my job as office manager... 70 00:06:13,923 --> 00:06:16,118 ...what I really want is to make a difference. 71 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:19,159 Did you know that this country is addicted to oil? 72 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,495 Listen, Betty. 73 00:06:22,665 --> 00:06:25,862 You're a really good office manager. 74 00:06:26,035 --> 00:06:30,199 But if you wanna be a woman in politics, you're gonna have to get some nuts. 75 00:06:30,373 --> 00:06:32,136 Let me ask you a question. 76 00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,538 Are you tough enough to take a loaded shotgun... 77 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:39,714 ...aim it at some cracker and tell them to "eat me"? 78 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:47,085 Why don't you just leave the politics to the gals with the loaded guns? 79 00:06:47,256 --> 00:06:49,019 - Yes, ma'am. - Okay. 80 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,557 Thank you. 81 00:06:54,764 --> 00:06:56,288 The wedding's in three months... 82 00:06:56,466 --> 00:06:59,526 ...and we just wanna iron out some kinks before the big day. 83 00:06:59,702 --> 00:07:03,263 Oh, but don't get me wrong, William and I are fine. Best friends, really. 84 00:07:03,706 --> 00:07:08,234 I think the most important thing in a relationship is honesty. 85 00:07:08,778 --> 00:07:10,609 Well, we have a motto, doc, don't we? 86 00:07:11,047 --> 00:07:13,038 - No secrets. - No secrets. 87 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,048 Honey, I'm home. 88 00:07:19,822 --> 00:07:21,881 I brought dinner. 89 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,318 Honey? 90 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,727 Honey. It should've been me. 91 00:07:34,937 --> 00:07:36,700 Honey. 92 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,203 Friend. 93 00:07:39,909 --> 00:07:40,933 Soul mate. 94 00:07:42,812 --> 00:07:44,746 Always loyal. 95 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:48,016 Often hilarious. 96 00:07:48,184 --> 00:07:53,053 We dedicate this "make your own pizza" party to you. 97 00:07:55,324 --> 00:07:58,657 The first in 12 years you didn't attend. 98 00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:03,296 This is really hard. 99 00:08:05,268 --> 00:08:06,633 Rest in peace, girlfriend. 100 00:08:06,802 --> 00:08:08,292 See you on the other side. 101 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,934 Now let's make some pizza. 102 00:08:12,108 --> 00:08:13,905 Mini pepperonis? - Mm-hm. 103 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,771 No cheese for me. I'm off dairy. 104 00:08:15,945 --> 00:08:18,277 You don't have to go off anything. You look great. 105 00:08:18,447 --> 00:08:21,280 Yeah. I'm not attractive enough for a blind man. 106 00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:24,578 We need to discuss if we're still going on our road trip next week. 107 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:25,914 Maybe it's too soon. 108 00:08:26,722 --> 00:08:28,417 She would want life to go on. 109 00:08:29,358 --> 00:08:30,791 You're right. 110 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,758 Honey loved hearing about our trips. 111 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:37,331 I remember sitting on that sofa and telling her about every adventure. 112 00:08:38,134 --> 00:08:40,193 Oh, the way she laughed. 113 00:08:40,369 --> 00:08:41,836 Oh. 114 00:08:43,206 --> 00:08:44,639 Energy becomes energy. 115 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,639 I think we should go on the trip. 116 00:08:46,809 --> 00:08:48,071 Yay. 117 00:08:48,244 --> 00:08:50,712 Because, you guys, I have a real treat planned for us. 118 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:55,817 We are going to Tempe, Arizona to the Wimmin's Music Festival. 119 00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:58,787 Please tell me Tracy Chapman is performing. 120 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,855 She and her "Fast Car" will be there. 121 00:09:01,023 --> 00:09:02,012 Oh, my goddess. 122 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,325 Gayle, what's wrong? 123 00:09:06,495 --> 00:09:09,055 - You love women-centered folk music. - I do. 124 00:09:09,232 --> 00:09:13,692 I know. I just... I wish we could go somewhere more fun, you know. 125 00:09:13,869 --> 00:09:16,030 So, like, we could be more fun. 126 00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:17,399 We're fun. 127 00:09:17,573 --> 00:09:20,371 Tell me that our yearly Americana road trip isn't fun. 128 00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:23,273 - Yeah, or at-home karaoke Fridays. - Yeah. 129 00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:24,936 Or the Movie Numbers Game. 130 00:09:25,114 --> 00:09:26,979 Hon, you love the Movie Numbers Game. 131 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,980 - I do love that game. - You go first. 132 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:33,019 - Name a movie, one to 10, go. - One Crazy Summer. 133 00:09:33,189 --> 00:09:34,986 - Two of a Kind. - Three to Tango. 134 00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:37,148 - Four Weddings and a Funeral. - Five Easy Pieces. 135 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,692 - Six Days and Seven Nights. - Ooh. A double. 136 00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:43,423 - 8 Mile. - The erotic Nine and a Half Weeks. 137 00:09:43,599 --> 00:09:45,089 And 10. We did it. 138 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,070 - See? We're pretty fun. - Yeah, we are. 139 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,869 Again, Vice President Lawrence Kenner has resigned. 140 00:09:57,046 --> 00:10:00,413 The disgraced politician remains in an undisclosed location... 141 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:04,417 ...a day after he was caught in a motel room with two underage girls. 142 00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:06,782 - He said he loved me. - You liar! 143 00:10:06,956 --> 00:10:08,287 The presi... 144 00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:12,621 Whoo-hoo-hoo! I love me's a scandal. 145 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:17,188 Well, the president will be making his selection... 146 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:18,799 ...at the end of the week. 147 00:10:18,968 --> 00:10:21,698 And guess who's at the top of his list. 148 00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:23,796 That's right, Mama. 149 00:10:23,973 --> 00:10:25,964 Mama's at the top of that list. 150 00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:28,167 They're gonna want someone squeaky clean. 151 00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:31,142 - They'll comb through every part of your life. - I'm spotless. 152 00:10:31,314 --> 00:10:35,045 I already deported the maid, and my husband's impotent. 153 00:10:35,584 --> 00:10:37,142 What about your daughter, Ashley? 154 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,551 But we were Lancelot and Guinevere of the medieval feast last year. 155 00:10:42,358 --> 00:10:43,916 Not now, Trevor. 156 00:10:44,093 --> 00:10:47,153 Ashley, we want different things. 157 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:49,798 Since I got my braces off and that mole removed... 158 00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:52,559 ...I realized it's time for me to move on. 159 00:10:53,602 --> 00:10:56,503 - None of the medieval freaks even work out. - Hey, Doug. 160 00:10:56,672 --> 00:10:59,470 Stop talking to that fugly face and get over here. 161 00:10:59,642 --> 00:11:01,974 Support our spring break. - Buy a cookie. 162 00:11:02,144 --> 00:11:06,774 All proceeds will support binge drinking, promiscuity and public nudity. 163 00:11:06,949 --> 00:11:08,246 South Padre. 164 00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,152 It's senior spring, Ash. 165 00:11:13,622 --> 00:11:16,682 They're trying to be your friend because your dad owns Six Flags. 166 00:11:16,859 --> 00:11:18,326 Maybe so, but they're fun. 167 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:22,121 - And I wanna be with a girl who parties. - I can be that girl. 168 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:26,598 I can. I could be a right, fine saucy wench. 169 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,964 - I can be saucy. - Ashley. 170 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,133 You'll never be that girl. 171 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,137 Hey, Mason, wait up. 172 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,248 - What's so great about them? - Forget Doug, Ashley. 173 00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:47,082 Let him and those frat gorillas go on their stupid spring break. 174 00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:49,822 I hate his fake face. 175 00:11:52,595 --> 00:11:54,119 One second. 176 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,389 - Hey, Mama. - Hey, baby. 177 00:11:56,565 --> 00:11:59,227 What's up with my little rock star? 178 00:11:59,402 --> 00:12:01,996 I think someone's got a spring break coming up. 179 00:12:02,371 --> 00:12:04,236 Yeah, it's next week. 180 00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:06,170 Oh, no. 181 00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:09,368 Where's your crazy sorority off to this year? 182 00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:14,113 South Padre. 183 00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:16,813 Where the Padre never stops. 184 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:20,012 Oh, baby, you are my pride and joy. 185 00:12:20,189 --> 00:12:22,817 Now, you be good and make safe choices. 186 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,290 - Okay, bye. - Bye-bye, baby. 187 00:12:28,297 --> 00:12:30,231 What? Don't want her to be disappointed. 188 00:12:30,599 --> 00:12:32,931 She has this image about me. 189 00:12:33,102 --> 00:12:35,696 You know, you've really gotta stop lying to her. 190 00:12:36,138 --> 00:12:40,074 You know what, miladies? You're right, the lying stops here. 191 00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:42,073 I am going to South Padre. 192 00:12:42,244 --> 00:12:44,906 I'm gonna prove to Douglas that inside this fair maiden... 193 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,275 ...lies the heart of a wanton trollop. 194 00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,418 He's gonna want me back. 195 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:54,087 My baby girl is just like her mother was back in the day. 196 00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:56,690 She's the most popular girl in her sorority... 197 00:12:56,859 --> 00:13:00,886 ...smart as a whip and always up for a good time. 198 00:13:01,897 --> 00:13:04,161 If the press catches her acting out, you're sunk. 199 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:09,327 - It'll be Bush twins, the sequel. - It's just spring break, y'all. 200 00:13:14,777 --> 00:13:17,644 Somebody impregnate me! 201 00:13:20,149 --> 00:13:22,049 I guess we better send someone down... 202 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,880 ...to South Padre Island to keep an eye on that girl. 203 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:29,286 And I need someone who's responsible, but young enough to pass. 204 00:13:34,196 --> 00:13:35,254 Betty. 205 00:13:35,431 --> 00:13:38,161 - You're going to spring break, girl. - I am? 206 00:13:38,868 --> 00:13:42,133 You're gonna stay on my daughter, Ashley, 24/7. 207 00:13:42,304 --> 00:13:45,296 You'll keep her under the radar for the five days she's there. 208 00:13:45,641 --> 00:13:48,940 Now, don't you tell her I sent you because we mostly trust each other. 209 00:13:49,278 --> 00:13:50,677 I am so on it. 210 00:13:50,846 --> 00:13:54,509 All right, girl, it's time for you to show me those huge hairy nuts you got... 211 00:13:54,683 --> 00:13:56,514 ...hidden down there. 212 00:14:23,345 --> 00:14:26,371 Pappy, Pappy. 213 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,613 Hello? Sweetheart. 214 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:34,654 The invites came in. They look really good. 215 00:14:34,823 --> 00:14:37,189 - You've gotta see. They look... - Ooh! 216 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,952 Will... William? Juan Carlos? 217 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:43,159 I'm sorry. 218 00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:49,335 - I thought you were teaching a class. - Yeah, class canceled. 219 00:14:50,005 --> 00:14:54,704 William, are you sure that we have no secrets? 220 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,335 - Okay, the truth? - Yeah. 221 00:14:57,513 --> 00:15:00,744 I'm not liking your "implicaish," okay? You don't trust me? 222 00:15:00,916 --> 00:15:04,147 - Then I'm really "sorr," but wedding off. - You're breaking up with me? 223 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,652 Leave me alone! You're giving me a nervy break-D. 224 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:07,982 What...? 225 00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:11,222 I mean, do you really think he's gay? 226 00:15:11,393 --> 00:15:15,454 I mean, it's not like every straight guy is into football, right? 227 00:15:15,631 --> 00:15:17,121 I mean... 228 00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:18,823 I don't know, maybe it's me. 229 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,491 Maybe if I only had... 230 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:22,328 A penis? 231 00:15:25,941 --> 00:15:28,739 I just wanna be married. 232 00:15:30,145 --> 00:15:32,670 Judi, forget about him, okay? 233 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,214 We're going on vacation. 234 00:15:35,384 --> 00:15:37,545 I can't go with you guys. 235 00:15:38,554 --> 00:15:40,249 - What? - What? 236 00:15:40,422 --> 00:15:44,017 Today the senator handpicked me for an important mission. 237 00:15:44,593 --> 00:15:49,087 She's sending me on a spring break to watch over her daughter, a wild child... 238 00:15:49,264 --> 00:15:52,927 ...and to possibly transform her into being a better human being. 239 00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:57,197 - Did you just say "spring break"? - I know, it's crazy, right? 240 00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,467 Wow, you get to do college all over again? 241 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:03,134 - You're really lucky. - It's a real opportunity. 242 00:16:04,947 --> 00:16:07,472 Do you guys remember college? 243 00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:11,553 No more blood for oil. We must stop this unjust war. 244 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,416 No more blood for oil. We must... 245 00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,489 Hey. Hold on one second. 246 00:16:21,864 --> 00:16:23,627 No, no, no. No. 247 00:16:27,703 --> 00:16:31,730 Bigtime congrats to the following new Kappa Mu Delta sisters. 248 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:35,335 So when you hear your name, come on up and join us. 249 00:16:35,511 --> 00:16:38,412 Marcy. Ayala. 250 00:16:39,181 --> 00:16:40,739 Jo Lynn. 251 00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:42,340 Laurie. 252 00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:45,316 And Claire. 253 00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:47,355 Everyone else, thank you. 254 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:53,891 Ew. 255 00:16:56,732 --> 00:16:58,757 College was rough. 256 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:01,994 It was a learning experience. 257 00:17:04,073 --> 00:17:06,337 I wanna go with you, Becky. 258 00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:08,601 - Where? - To spring break. 259 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,005 You do? 260 00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:13,148 Let's go. We never went to spring break in college. 261 00:17:13,315 --> 00:17:15,840 I'll trade in my first-class tickets for three coaches. 262 00:17:16,151 --> 00:17:18,346 - And I have a suite at the Four Seasons. - Yeah. 263 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:22,115 - I've never stayed at a Four Seasons. - This is the kind of vacation we need. 264 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,691 - We do need to shake things up a little bit. - Wait. 265 00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:26,521 What would Honey want us to do? 266 00:17:26,695 --> 00:17:28,322 Hey, Becky. 267 00:17:29,164 --> 00:17:30,688 You really need to bury that cat. 268 00:18:06,935 --> 00:18:09,369 Get it together. 269 00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:12,472 That's what I'm talking about! 270 00:18:12,641 --> 00:18:15,109 Let's have sex. 271 00:18:15,277 --> 00:18:16,539 This is terrific. 272 00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:18,077 It's repulsive. 273 00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:23,013 "The 4 Season�s"? 274 00:18:24,052 --> 00:18:26,145 We're gonna get date-raped in there. 275 00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:28,881 - You think? - Judi. 276 00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:32,851 Yeah. 277 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,220 Yoo-hoo, ladies, over here. 278 00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:38,290 Howdy, girls. Yoo-hoo. 279 00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,799 Hold up one sec. Mama needs her meds. 280 00:18:40,969 --> 00:18:42,732 You know how it is. Mm. Mm-mm. 281 00:18:44,973 --> 00:18:47,066 Welcome to The 4 Season�s. 282 00:18:47,242 --> 00:18:48,266 My name is Charlene. 283 00:18:48,443 --> 00:18:50,536 This here is my 18th spring break. 284 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,806 Y'all, my hot ass ain't even half done with the party. Whoo! 285 00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:56,784 Okay. 286 00:18:56,952 --> 00:18:59,011 Checking in. 287 00:18:59,621 --> 00:19:00,986 Becky St. Germaine. 288 00:19:01,156 --> 00:19:04,489 That's right. I got y'all in a suite on the third floor. 289 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,059 Bathroom's in the hall. 290 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,163 - Wait. One bathroom for the entire floor? - I'm out of here. 291 00:19:09,331 --> 00:19:15,292 And listen, if I ever catch any of y'all doing the nasty, y'all know this. 292 00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:17,771 I may just join in. What? 293 00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:20,909 Oh, shit. All right, all right. Y'all get. 294 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,475 Y'all get and party. 295 00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:25,772 Get the party started, girls. Whoo! 296 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,953 This place is dog balls. 297 00:19:42,898 --> 00:19:45,298 It has a lot of character. - I kind of smell pee. 298 00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:47,832 This is a suite? 299 00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:50,597 Let me just grab this towel to wipe... 300 00:19:51,206 --> 00:19:52,400 Ew. 301 00:19:54,209 --> 00:19:58,305 Judi, the bedspread is the filthiest part of the entire room. 302 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,041 Oh, that's right, that's right. I heard that on 20/20. 303 00:20:03,352 --> 00:20:04,979 Oh, no. 304 00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:09,949 Okay. Becky, what's your plan? 305 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,286 Okay, yeah. 306 00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:16,056 This is Ashley. 307 00:20:16,231 --> 00:20:17,858 We find her, we bond. 308 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:21,491 We insinuate ourselves into her clique and then we all become best friends. 309 00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:23,399 - Great. - That's... That's your plan? 310 00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:24,696 Yes, it is. 311 00:20:24,873 --> 00:20:26,704 According to my Internet research... 312 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:30,811 ...this club, Chuggers, is the Studio 54 of South Padre. 313 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:33,209 We're never gonna get in there. - Yoo-hoo. 314 00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:35,111 - Hi, hi, hi. - Charlene. 315 00:20:35,284 --> 00:20:37,752 - Hey, Charlene. Can you get us in? - Hey. Hey, hey. 316 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,083 Y'all, I didn't bone that bouncer 46 times for nothing. 317 00:20:57,539 --> 00:20:59,404 Let's get Coyote Ugly, y'all. 318 00:20:59,574 --> 00:21:02,338 - Yeah. - Oh, hey, hey! 319 00:21:03,211 --> 00:21:04,906 Hey. I don't like being picked up. 320 00:21:05,414 --> 00:21:07,405 Put me down. Right here. Becky. 321 00:21:07,582 --> 00:21:09,550 Judi! Gayle! 322 00:21:09,718 --> 00:21:11,276 I need to find my friends. 323 00:21:11,453 --> 00:21:13,717 Tequila. Doubles. 324 00:21:13,889 --> 00:21:17,518 Oh, what white wines do you have by the glass? 325 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,423 Hey, Miss Fancy Pants, this ain't the Red Lobster. 326 00:21:20,963 --> 00:21:22,863 Whoo. Here we go. 327 00:21:23,565 --> 00:21:25,260 Hey, I don't touch the hard. 328 00:21:25,434 --> 00:21:27,459 Just drink the damn thing. 329 00:21:32,607 --> 00:21:33,767 How do you drink this? 330 00:21:33,942 --> 00:21:37,002 Honey, I'd drink gasoline if you put a lime in it. 331 00:21:37,179 --> 00:21:40,273 - Another round. - Have you seen this...? 332 00:21:42,117 --> 00:21:44,642 No means no. - Come on, baby. 333 00:21:44,987 --> 00:21:46,215 Come on. - No touching. 334 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,980 - Just looking. - Come on. 335 00:21:48,156 --> 00:21:50,784 Down, boys. No, drop it. 336 00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:52,290 Up, up. 337 00:21:52,461 --> 00:21:54,486 Here we go. Up, up, up. 338 00:21:54,663 --> 00:21:56,654 Look, look. You want a glowstick? 339 00:21:56,832 --> 00:21:59,130 Go get it. Go get it. 340 00:22:00,469 --> 00:22:02,903 That was incredible. 341 00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:04,936 Men are just dogs with thumbs. 342 00:22:05,107 --> 00:22:07,132 Sit down. 343 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:15,717 What's your name? 344 00:22:15,884 --> 00:22:18,853 - Gayle. - I'm Mason and we're the Sevens. 345 00:22:19,021 --> 00:22:22,980 Seven hot chicks in seven pairs of Seven cutoff jeans. 346 00:22:23,158 --> 00:22:24,955 Ain't nobody fiercer than us. 347 00:22:25,127 --> 00:22:27,925 - My mama thinks I should be a model. - Yeah. 348 00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:31,759 I look good in real life, but in pictures I look even better. 349 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,731 Flawless. - Don't you love my hair? 350 00:22:34,903 --> 00:22:36,837 Super fierce. 351 00:22:49,051 --> 00:22:51,246 I'm so sorry, Gayle. I love you. 352 00:22:51,420 --> 00:22:53,047 I love you. 353 00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:56,424 - Gayle! - I got a lot of dreams. 354 00:22:56,591 --> 00:23:00,027 I'm gonna get this ass on Road Rules, climb Mt. Everett... 355 00:23:00,395 --> 00:23:04,627 ...and start a charity to give spray tans to the homeless. 356 00:23:05,333 --> 00:23:07,563 - You wanna dance? - No. 357 00:23:09,004 --> 00:23:11,564 Yes. Yes, I do. 358 00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:22,181 You know what safe sex is? 359 00:23:22,350 --> 00:23:25,786 Dating men who are gay. 360 00:23:27,722 --> 00:23:30,714 But I'm ready to make up for lost time. 361 00:23:47,776 --> 00:23:49,209 You are so sexy. 362 00:23:49,377 --> 00:23:50,776 I know. 363 00:23:51,746 --> 00:23:53,714 Hey, can I join you guys? 364 00:23:53,882 --> 00:23:55,349 I'm game. 365 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:58,645 One-night stands, threesomes, fourgies. 366 00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:00,788 Hey, it's all good. 367 00:24:00,956 --> 00:24:03,186 Get over here, you dirty little slut. 368 00:24:07,963 --> 00:24:10,488 Sorry. Sorry. 369 00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:12,697 Don't move. Don't move. 370 00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:14,859 - Ashley. - Hey, Ashley. 371 00:24:15,303 --> 00:24:17,362 - Ashley, come here. - What? Come here. 372 00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:19,473 Ashley, don't move. - You have to stay. 373 00:24:19,641 --> 00:24:21,734 Guys, come down here. 374 00:24:21,910 --> 00:24:24,538 I had this girl all wrong. 375 00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:27,682 There's nothing ordinary about her. 376 00:24:27,849 --> 00:24:29,646 And if she'll say yes... 377 00:24:29,818 --> 00:24:33,515 ...I would love for her to be my new chief of staff. 378 00:24:33,688 --> 00:24:35,246 What do you say? 379 00:24:35,423 --> 00:24:38,688 Hybrid cars for everyone. 380 00:24:40,829 --> 00:24:43,491 Excuse me. Ashley, we have totally gotta get out of here. 381 00:24:43,665 --> 00:24:46,133 - Truvy is having an asthma attack. - There he is. 382 00:24:46,301 --> 00:24:47,598 Ashley. 383 00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:56,737 Find Judi. We gotta get out of here. 384 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:59,005 - Hi, Becky. - No, we gotta get out of here. 385 00:25:03,785 --> 00:25:04,979 Surprise. 386 00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:08,051 Ashley. 387 00:25:08,623 --> 00:25:10,750 - What are you doing here? - Getting jiggy. 388 00:25:11,059 --> 00:25:13,960 I'm about to puke and, like, not on purpose. 389 00:25:14,296 --> 00:25:16,025 Why don't you just leave me alone? 390 00:25:16,198 --> 00:25:19,190 Because I ain't nice. 391 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,668 That girl has been torturing me since freshman year. 392 00:25:27,842 --> 00:25:31,710 - The worst roommate matchup ever. - I have a moist towelette. 393 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,344 - Thank you. - Are you okay? 394 00:25:34,516 --> 00:25:36,643 Her ex-boyfriend has lost his mind. 395 00:25:36,818 --> 00:25:39,810 You know what? If Doug wants trash, I'm gonna give him trash. 396 00:25:39,988 --> 00:25:41,319 What does that mean exactly? 397 00:25:41,489 --> 00:25:44,822 It means tomorrow we're going to the beach to act like total idiots. 398 00:25:44,993 --> 00:25:46,585 I'm sorry, who are you? 399 00:25:46,761 --> 00:25:49,389 I'm Becky St. Germaine. 400 00:25:49,564 --> 00:25:50,861 I'm a college student. 401 00:25:52,867 --> 00:25:54,528 A grad student, and you? 402 00:25:55,203 --> 00:25:58,331 - Lydia, Truvy and Ashley. - Whoo! Whoo! 403 00:25:58,506 --> 00:26:00,167 I'm gonna be a slut. 404 00:26:00,342 --> 00:26:03,004 - A slut. I'm gonna be a slut. - Becky. 405 00:26:03,178 --> 00:26:05,976 You guys horny too? Who's horny? You? 406 00:26:06,147 --> 00:26:07,671 I hate it here, Ashley. 407 00:26:07,849 --> 00:26:09,146 Oh, that's Ashley. 408 00:26:09,317 --> 00:26:10,909 Take me home, I need to barf. 409 00:26:11,086 --> 00:26:12,610 - I need to barf. - Okay. 410 00:26:12,787 --> 00:26:14,755 - Whose shoe is this? - It's your shoe, Judi. 411 00:26:14,923 --> 00:26:16,686 That's bullshit. - All right. 412 00:26:16,858 --> 00:26:18,325 Who wants to do me? 413 00:26:24,299 --> 00:26:26,199 Hey, you guys. 414 00:26:26,368 --> 00:26:28,598 The special today is huevos rancheros. 415 00:26:28,770 --> 00:26:30,465 Yum. 416 00:26:30,639 --> 00:26:33,107 - Just coffee for me. Thank you. - Yeah, me too. 417 00:26:33,275 --> 00:26:35,106 Oh, Judi, are you okay? 418 00:26:35,277 --> 00:26:39,373 Well, it's just huevos rancheros always reminds me of William. 419 00:26:39,948 --> 00:26:42,781 Because he went down on that Hispanic guy? 420 00:26:43,985 --> 00:26:46,180 No, because it was our Sunday tradition. 421 00:26:46,354 --> 00:26:49,152 All right. Judi, you're here to forget about him. 422 00:26:49,324 --> 00:26:51,053 Maybe you should eat something. 423 00:26:51,226 --> 00:26:54,753 No, thanks. The thought of food makes me wanna seriously chunder. 424 00:26:54,929 --> 00:26:58,262 - Chunder? - Oh, yeah, it means to vomit. 425 00:26:58,433 --> 00:27:01,129 This place is opening up a whole new world for me. 426 00:27:01,303 --> 00:27:02,395 You know what I learned? 427 00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:06,438 That the roll of fat that hangs over the jean is called a muffin top. 428 00:27:08,276 --> 00:27:11,370 Our trips are not only fun but educational. 429 00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:14,140 Are we excited about going to the beach today? 430 00:27:14,316 --> 00:27:16,580 That sounds perfect. I just wanna relax. 431 00:27:16,751 --> 00:27:19,549 I just wanna stretch out with a good book, you know? 432 00:27:48,483 --> 00:27:50,951 Go, go, go. 433 00:27:56,524 --> 00:27:58,185 Whoo! Keg stands, y'all. 434 00:27:58,360 --> 00:27:59,918 Judi, let me flip and tap you. 435 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,960 - I don't understand. - Get over here. 436 00:28:02,964 --> 00:28:06,263 All's you gotta do is drink, but don't let it get up your nose... 437 00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:07,458 ...because that hurts. 438 00:28:07,635 --> 00:28:09,000 - Let her rip. - Gayle. 439 00:28:09,471 --> 00:28:10,699 It's our protector. 440 00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:15,406 - Why are you dressed like that? - Oh, is it too revealing? 441 00:28:15,577 --> 00:28:17,875 - You look like my nana. - Thank you. 442 00:28:18,046 --> 00:28:19,070 Come with us. 443 00:28:19,247 --> 00:28:21,306 Chug, chug, chug. 444 00:28:22,884 --> 00:28:24,442 I'm gonna go look for Ashley. 445 00:28:30,358 --> 00:28:31,655 I did it! Let's go again! 446 00:28:36,164 --> 00:28:37,426 That's better. 447 00:28:37,732 --> 00:28:39,029 Girl, welcome. 448 00:28:40,702 --> 00:28:42,363 Your abs ain't that bad, by the way. 449 00:28:43,071 --> 00:28:45,062 Oh, my God, thank you. 450 00:28:48,109 --> 00:28:49,474 Why do you litter? 451 00:28:59,788 --> 00:29:01,881 This place is so weird. 452 00:29:04,759 --> 00:29:08,855 Whoo! I wanna see some balls. 453 00:29:09,030 --> 00:29:10,520 What? 454 00:29:16,271 --> 00:29:20,002 A talent show. - Do you guys have any talents? 455 00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:22,837 - I can put my tongue in my nose. - I have no gag reflex. 456 00:29:25,647 --> 00:29:27,308 We are so gonna win this. 457 00:29:27,482 --> 00:29:30,747 Everyone knows you can't spell talent without T and A. 458 00:29:31,419 --> 00:29:32,443 Okay, listen up. 459 00:29:32,620 --> 00:29:35,180 The winner gets 150 drink tickets... 460 00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:40,453 ...a group day of beauty at Texas Tan and 12 bottle-opener keychains. 461 00:29:40,628 --> 00:29:42,391 Oh, my God. 462 00:29:42,564 --> 00:29:43,792 That's the prize? 463 00:29:44,432 --> 00:29:46,093 Gayle, you be the coach. 464 00:29:46,267 --> 00:29:48,235 Oh, no, no, no. I just coach dogs. 465 00:29:48,403 --> 00:29:50,394 And we're the Bad News Beyotches. 466 00:29:50,805 --> 00:29:52,534 Check up on this. 467 00:30:04,152 --> 00:30:06,052 Here's what I want. Give me two lines. 468 00:30:06,821 --> 00:30:09,255 You... Okay, Mason in front. Now, heads up. 469 00:30:09,691 --> 00:30:12,285 Tails back, boobs out, stomachs in. 470 00:30:12,727 --> 00:30:15,958 And give me four booty roundabouts in unison... 471 00:30:16,364 --> 00:30:18,298 ...with extra butt-cheek vibration. 472 00:30:18,466 --> 00:30:19,660 Go. 473 00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:28,506 Whoo! I love it. 474 00:30:28,676 --> 00:30:31,839 I love it a lot. Again. 475 00:30:32,146 --> 00:30:33,613 Yeah! 476 00:30:44,659 --> 00:30:46,627 - You. - Can I keep my T-shirt on? 477 00:30:46,961 --> 00:30:48,155 - Whatever. - Okay. 478 00:30:48,530 --> 00:30:50,395 Oh, God! 479 00:30:53,668 --> 00:30:56,102 - Two against one, that's not fair. - You're right. 480 00:30:57,505 --> 00:30:59,132 Yeah. 481 00:31:00,808 --> 00:31:02,639 I'm allergic to tomatoes. 482 00:31:14,322 --> 00:31:16,916 That girl's gone bonkers. 483 00:31:23,631 --> 00:31:25,826 Excuse me. Excuse me. Let me through. 484 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,729 Kill, kill, kill. 485 00:31:40,815 --> 00:31:43,750 This is really degrading to women. 486 00:31:44,352 --> 00:31:45,944 Really. 487 00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:51,049 Why would anyone wanna wrestle in salsa? 488 00:31:51,559 --> 00:31:53,993 We're human beings, we're not tacos. 489 00:31:58,032 --> 00:31:59,932 Listen, I understand what you're feeling. 490 00:32:00,401 --> 00:32:02,232 I too have recently suffered a loss. 491 00:32:02,403 --> 00:32:05,395 - Your boyfriend dump you too? - No, my cat died. 492 00:32:06,908 --> 00:32:09,968 And I know that the language of letting go is not in that salsa. 493 00:32:10,144 --> 00:32:11,543 Right. 494 00:32:12,313 --> 00:32:14,076 - Body shots? - No. 495 00:32:14,248 --> 00:32:16,682 I'm talking about releasing the spirit of fun... 496 00:32:17,418 --> 00:32:19,443 ...without the display of public nudity. 497 00:32:19,988 --> 00:32:24,448 I'm talking about enjoying ourselves in a real and meaningful way. 498 00:32:24,626 --> 00:32:28,118 I'm talking about girls really going bonkers. 499 00:32:28,663 --> 00:32:30,290 I don't get it. 500 00:32:47,415 --> 00:32:50,111 Look at us all laughing. 501 00:32:56,724 --> 00:32:59,386 See? We don't have to be like everyone else to have fun. 502 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:00,857 Everyone else? 503 00:33:01,029 --> 00:33:03,259 Burnouts, wastoids and sluts. 504 00:33:16,911 --> 00:33:18,503 I freaking love you. 505 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,207 No, I freaking love you. 506 00:33:22,383 --> 00:33:24,647 Hey, you guys, let's tell each other our secrets. 507 00:33:24,819 --> 00:33:25,911 Yeah. 508 00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:27,145 I can't read. 509 00:33:29,824 --> 00:33:32,952 I have sex with my uncle every Thanksgiving. 510 00:33:35,530 --> 00:33:40,524 You're gonna have to deal with that later. You're gonna have to deal with that later. 511 00:34:24,378 --> 00:34:26,403 Good night, ladies. 512 00:34:42,463 --> 00:34:44,397 Oh, my God. 513 00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:46,959 Oh, my God. 514 00:35:19,767 --> 00:35:21,394 Total walk of shame. 515 00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:25,195 Yeah, you're damn right it's a walk of shame. 516 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:29,332 Because I just got me some, beyotch. 517 00:35:34,916 --> 00:35:38,579 - Where have you been? - Oh, Mason and I passed out on the beach. 518 00:35:39,453 --> 00:35:41,080 Ladies. 519 00:35:41,255 --> 00:35:42,688 Where have you been? 520 00:35:42,857 --> 00:35:44,722 I had sex... 521 00:35:44,892 --> 00:35:48,521 ...with a straight guy. Yeah, you heard. 522 00:35:49,130 --> 00:35:51,428 One, two, three, snap. 523 00:35:51,599 --> 00:35:53,590 Have you two gone cuckoo-bananas? 524 00:35:53,768 --> 00:35:58,000 Becky, please. Your voice is like daggers in my skull. 525 00:35:58,172 --> 00:36:00,902 I was worried sick about the both... 526 00:36:01,209 --> 00:36:02,403 You had sex? 527 00:36:04,445 --> 00:36:06,777 Got freaky all night. 528 00:36:06,948 --> 00:36:08,142 Tell us everything. 529 00:36:08,316 --> 00:36:11,752 Okay, well, I don't remember much, but I know it was amazing. 530 00:36:11,919 --> 00:36:13,910 We had a really special connection. 531 00:36:14,088 --> 00:36:15,419 You guys... 532 00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:18,650 ...I've never felt this way before. 533 00:36:19,527 --> 00:36:21,961 What's his name? 534 00:36:22,830 --> 00:36:24,923 I don't know. 535 00:36:25,666 --> 00:36:29,295 I can't believe you had sex. 536 00:36:29,904 --> 00:36:31,565 Was it meaningful? 537 00:36:31,739 --> 00:36:33,707 Oh, you guys, he's really special. 538 00:36:33,875 --> 00:36:35,672 Oh, I can't wait for you to meet him. 539 00:36:35,843 --> 00:36:37,674 This place is incredible. 540 00:36:37,845 --> 00:36:40,541 - I'm gonna throw up again. - Awesome. 541 00:36:49,891 --> 00:36:51,222 And time. 542 00:36:52,693 --> 00:36:55,856 This is so not what I was expecting when I came to South Padre. 543 00:36:56,030 --> 00:36:58,464 If my mom saw this, she would totally freak. 544 00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:01,101 - Why? - Are you kidding me? 545 00:37:01,269 --> 00:37:04,830 My mom was Miss Texas, valedictorian. 546 00:37:05,006 --> 00:37:07,702 Now one of the most powerful women in Washington. 547 00:37:08,109 --> 00:37:09,474 Ain't easy being me. 548 00:37:09,877 --> 00:37:11,640 She sounds like a real piece of work. 549 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,677 They call her "The Hatchet. " 550 00:37:13,848 --> 00:37:15,179 I don't know who you're talking about. 551 00:37:17,585 --> 00:37:20,577 Excuse me, I have to take this. It's an important call. 552 00:37:20,755 --> 00:37:22,518 Okay. 553 00:37:24,792 --> 00:37:26,953 - Hello. - Talk to me, Betty. 554 00:37:27,128 --> 00:37:30,461 Ow! Ming Ling, shit. 555 00:37:30,965 --> 00:37:33,263 So my wild horse running you ragged? 556 00:37:35,469 --> 00:37:38,233 - Oh, she's crazy, all right. - Don't screw this up. 557 00:37:38,406 --> 00:37:40,397 Three more days to keep her safe... 558 00:37:40,574 --> 00:37:43,941 - ... and we'll make history. - Oh, don't you worry, I'm so on it. I... 559 00:37:44,111 --> 00:37:46,045 Hello? Hello? 560 00:37:48,349 --> 00:37:50,749 - Good morning, everybody. - Morning? It's 5 p. m. 561 00:37:50,918 --> 00:37:53,580 Well, it's morning somewheres. 562 00:37:54,388 --> 00:37:56,049 Gayle, what are you wearing? 563 00:37:56,490 --> 00:37:58,424 My boo loaned it to me. Slamming, huh? 564 00:37:58,592 --> 00:37:59,616 What's going on here? 565 00:37:59,794 --> 00:38:02,058 It's a magazine-soda-pop- Chex-Mix-pool party. 566 00:38:02,229 --> 00:38:03,594 - Come join us. - Okay. 567 00:38:03,764 --> 00:38:08,258 Y'all, we got a booze cruise in 10 and then the foam party. 568 00:38:08,602 --> 00:38:10,729 - You guys are going to a foam party? - Oh, yeah. 569 00:38:10,905 --> 00:38:14,033 They fill up a whole club with beer foam. It's like living in a keg. 570 00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:15,903 Becky, you have to meet the Sevens. 571 00:38:16,077 --> 00:38:18,409 When you hang with them, you're hot by association. 572 00:38:18,579 --> 00:38:21,480 - You know the Sevens? - We're kind of like the Eights right now. 573 00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:24,715 - So, shorties, you coming with? - No way, Jose. 574 00:38:25,619 --> 00:38:30,022 - Sorry, Judi. - His name was Juan Carlos. 575 00:38:31,192 --> 00:38:32,853 You think maybe I can go with you? 576 00:38:33,027 --> 00:38:36,292 - I have no problem with that. - Don't you have to be on the list, Gayle? 577 00:38:36,464 --> 00:38:39,126 And isn't that list closed? 578 00:38:41,002 --> 00:38:43,937 Yes, I believe that list is closed, Becky. 579 00:38:44,105 --> 00:38:47,632 Y'all, let's motor. This ass ain't getting any higher. 580 00:38:47,808 --> 00:38:49,139 Can I get a "what, what?" 581 00:38:49,310 --> 00:38:50,607 Later-hosen. 582 00:39:03,691 --> 00:39:07,354 Gayle, the Sevens and I have been talking. Four and Five think you're awesome. 583 00:39:07,528 --> 00:39:11,294 Six and Seven think it'd be better if you were taller, and Two had no comment. 584 00:39:11,465 --> 00:39:12,989 I'm, like, really stupid. 585 00:39:13,167 --> 00:39:14,191 Oh, it's okay. 586 00:39:14,368 --> 00:39:17,428 And I... I think you are almost there. 587 00:39:17,605 --> 00:39:19,869 Oh, my God. You guys. 588 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,606 I can't feel my face. 589 00:39:26,914 --> 00:39:29,883 Oh, my God, that's the guy from last night. 590 00:39:30,051 --> 00:39:32,747 That is some grade-A baloney pony. 591 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,785 Go talk to him. 592 00:39:38,726 --> 00:39:40,717 See, I told you we'd get in. 593 00:39:40,895 --> 00:39:43,363 Doug's gotta be in here somewhere. 594 00:39:45,232 --> 00:39:48,497 Lydia? Lydia! 595 00:39:48,669 --> 00:39:50,364 Lydia! 596 00:39:50,538 --> 00:39:52,165 Lydia! 597 00:39:57,011 --> 00:39:58,501 Hey. 598 00:39:58,946 --> 00:39:59,970 Hey. 599 00:40:06,454 --> 00:40:08,217 - What's up? - Nothing. 600 00:40:09,023 --> 00:40:10,752 We cool? 601 00:40:13,527 --> 00:40:15,154 Yeah, yeah. 602 00:40:16,397 --> 00:40:17,728 Hey... 603 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,724 Thank you. 604 00:40:46,393 --> 00:40:47,860 Hi. 605 00:40:55,936 --> 00:40:58,427 All right, maestro. Let's get this party started. 606 00:40:58,606 --> 00:41:00,039 What's up, suckers? 607 00:41:00,808 --> 00:41:04,904 My name is Gayle and I'm the party master. Woo, woo. 608 00:41:05,079 --> 00:41:07,138 Do you guys like line dancing? 609 00:41:07,314 --> 00:41:08,372 No. 610 00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:11,484 - Yeah. - Yeah, that's my girls. 611 00:41:11,852 --> 00:41:13,410 We're gonna get it going tonight. 612 00:41:13,587 --> 00:41:17,614 We're gonna blow your mother-humping mind with a thing called electric slide. 613 00:41:17,791 --> 00:41:19,622 Maestro. 614 00:41:23,764 --> 00:41:25,823 Whoo! 615 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,230 That's right. Get it going. 616 00:41:30,938 --> 00:41:32,064 Yeah. 617 00:41:32,973 --> 00:41:35,100 All right. You guys aren't feeling it, huh? 618 00:41:35,276 --> 00:41:36,300 Here's some incentive. 619 00:41:36,477 --> 00:41:38,775 How about you come up and do the electric slide... 620 00:41:38,946 --> 00:41:40,573 ...to get your free keychain. 621 00:41:42,983 --> 00:41:44,473 Give me those damn keychains. 622 00:41:44,652 --> 00:41:46,950 Oh, they really like keychains. 623 00:42:02,970 --> 00:42:04,631 Hey. 624 00:42:09,076 --> 00:42:10,839 Spring break forever! 625 00:42:15,549 --> 00:42:17,574 I'm flying. 626 00:42:17,751 --> 00:42:19,275 Go, go, go. 627 00:42:20,821 --> 00:42:24,382 Girl, you're a Team Seven now. 628 00:42:24,558 --> 00:42:27,186 I'm 35 years old. 629 00:42:27,995 --> 00:42:31,954 I'm flying. 630 00:42:51,285 --> 00:42:53,515 Chug, chug. Chug, chug. 631 00:42:53,687 --> 00:42:56,747 - What time is it? - Almost dinner. 632 00:43:01,528 --> 00:43:03,928 I must have blacked out again. 633 00:43:04,098 --> 00:43:05,429 Me too. 634 00:43:05,599 --> 00:43:08,159 You guys have been drunk for three straight days. 635 00:43:08,335 --> 00:43:10,200 Oh, girl, don't hate. 636 00:43:11,338 --> 00:43:12,669 Stop talking like that. 637 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,173 Becky, there's this party tonight, beer fountains. 638 00:43:16,343 --> 00:43:20,074 It's like the Trevi in Rome but with beer. 639 00:43:20,247 --> 00:43:21,680 You're loaded, Judi. 640 00:43:22,116 --> 00:43:24,084 Roll with us. 641 00:43:24,251 --> 00:43:25,718 What is going on here? 642 00:43:26,153 --> 00:43:27,950 I had sex with a stranger... 643 00:43:28,122 --> 00:43:30,522 ...and now we're falling in love. 644 00:43:30,691 --> 00:43:34,320 Yeah, and I mounted an Abercrombie model. 645 00:43:34,495 --> 00:43:36,963 He was 19 years old. 646 00:43:37,131 --> 00:43:38,393 We're different women here. 647 00:43:38,565 --> 00:43:40,726 - Yeah, so come with us. - Yes. 648 00:43:40,901 --> 00:43:43,529 Oh, wow, my tan is out of control. 649 00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:46,729 I have a job to do. 650 00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:49,107 Your job is done. 651 00:43:49,276 --> 00:43:52,074 Yeah, Ashley's a nerdball. She ain't making no Page Six. 652 00:43:52,246 --> 00:43:54,305 You're missing your second chance. 653 00:43:54,481 --> 00:43:56,449 Becky, it's not the same without you. 654 00:43:56,617 --> 00:43:57,641 We're a trio. 655 00:43:57,818 --> 00:44:01,447 We're like the Three Musketeers or Wilson Phillips. 656 00:44:01,622 --> 00:44:03,283 True that. 657 00:44:03,457 --> 00:44:06,688 We've been reborn, Becky. 658 00:44:09,997 --> 00:44:12,056 Holler back, girl. 659 00:44:45,432 --> 00:44:48,401 Ashley. Come on, let us in. 660 00:44:48,569 --> 00:44:49,934 Forget about Doug. 661 00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:52,129 She's been in there all day. 662 00:44:52,306 --> 00:44:54,206 Do you wanna play mahjong? 663 00:44:54,375 --> 00:44:56,969 - Yeah, that's a good idea. - Yeah, yeah. 664 00:44:59,646 --> 00:45:02,240 No, thank you, ladies. 665 00:45:02,416 --> 00:45:03,576 I'm out. 666 00:45:04,084 --> 00:45:05,711 Hey, Mr. Man. 667 00:45:05,886 --> 00:45:10,220 Get me a shot of anything and whatever my little friend here wants too. 668 00:45:10,391 --> 00:45:11,653 Yeah, all right. 669 00:45:11,825 --> 00:45:13,816 Me likey when the lady buys. 670 00:45:13,994 --> 00:45:15,757 Well, you know... 671 00:45:22,469 --> 00:45:24,027 Down it, wench. 672 00:45:24,204 --> 00:45:26,069 You guys, this game is so boring. 673 00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:28,299 We've been playing it for, like, two hours. 674 00:45:28,675 --> 00:45:30,302 We don't know any other games. 675 00:45:30,944 --> 00:45:33,208 I know a game. Let's play the Movie Numbers Game. 676 00:45:33,380 --> 00:45:36,975 It's super fun. You say the titles of movies that have numbers from one to 10. 677 00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,210 I'll start. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 678 00:45:39,386 --> 00:45:40,876 Two Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 679 00:45:41,054 --> 00:45:43,181 - Numbers what to what? - One to 10. 680 00:45:43,357 --> 00:45:44,915 Hey, I threw up four times today. 681 00:45:45,192 --> 00:45:47,888 - You know, that's very unhealthy. - So is being fat. 682 00:45:48,061 --> 00:45:51,121 Fat people are nice people, okay? 683 00:45:51,298 --> 00:45:53,596 People are fat for all different reasons. 684 00:45:53,767 --> 00:45:56,031 You have a slow metabolism or a thyroid problem... 685 00:45:56,203 --> 00:45:59,138 ...or you're an adult and your parents decide to get a divorce. 686 00:45:59,306 --> 00:46:03,367 And you find yourself in your grandma's laundry room eating brownie mix... 687 00:46:03,544 --> 00:46:04,704 ...and crying. 688 00:46:04,878 --> 00:46:07,403 What, are we all supposed to be the same? That's crazy. 689 00:46:07,581 --> 00:46:09,947 That's just crazy talk. 690 00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:14,017 Gayle. 691 00:46:14,188 --> 00:46:17,885 You are so wise. You are like a big sister. 692 00:46:18,826 --> 00:46:20,885 Yeah, we are starting to become like family. 693 00:46:21,061 --> 00:46:22,221 Absolutely. 694 00:46:23,263 --> 00:46:26,892 - Yeah. - Oh, and you're like the one we adopted. 695 00:46:27,067 --> 00:46:29,001 Aw. 696 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,244 You look just like my R.A. 697 00:46:42,783 --> 00:46:46,810 I haven't been touched by a man since Clinton was in office. 698 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,185 Hey, I need to talk to you. 699 00:46:55,362 --> 00:46:57,421 Please, I just... I need... Just one second. 700 00:46:58,532 --> 00:47:02,127 Look, nothing was gonna happen with me and that guy over there. 701 00:47:02,302 --> 00:47:05,066 Yeah, you know, it's really none of my business. 702 00:47:05,973 --> 00:47:09,238 Don't be mad, please. You've gotta trust me. 703 00:47:10,677 --> 00:47:12,975 I'm just trying to take a leak. 704 00:47:13,146 --> 00:47:14,807 Why are you being so cold? 705 00:47:17,718 --> 00:47:18,776 I don't even know you. 706 00:47:19,386 --> 00:47:23,083 Yeah? Well, I feel like I don't even know you anymore either. 707 00:47:24,124 --> 00:47:27,093 This is why I'm not a slut. I just don't have what it takes. 708 00:47:27,761 --> 00:47:30,423 Because when I love, I love hard. 709 00:47:30,597 --> 00:47:33,430 But you, you're just like every other guy here, right? 710 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:37,229 Y'all just see me as some piece of ass! Well, guess what, homeboy... 711 00:47:37,404 --> 00:47:40,430 ...I ain't your sex robot. 712 00:47:42,142 --> 00:47:43,837 Move it! 713 00:47:46,313 --> 00:47:50,147 Good Lord, look at that. That is pathetic. 714 00:47:50,317 --> 00:47:52,148 It's like putting lipstick on a turd. 715 00:47:52,319 --> 00:47:55,482 Guys, I have a good idea. Let's make her over. 716 00:47:55,822 --> 00:47:58,256 You know, it'll be a fun project, like I was. 717 00:47:58,425 --> 00:48:00,859 Gayle, she is pure nasty. 718 00:48:01,028 --> 00:48:03,519 You, you were a diamond in the rough. 719 00:48:03,697 --> 00:48:05,528 She kind of is too. She's really smart. 720 00:48:05,699 --> 00:48:09,328 And, you know, her mother might be vice president next week. 721 00:48:10,270 --> 00:48:12,329 She might be famous and be in magazines. 722 00:48:12,506 --> 00:48:15,873 Oh, my God. Let's make friends. 723 00:48:16,043 --> 00:48:17,840 She could get the Sevens in Us Weekly. 724 00:48:21,248 --> 00:48:24,547 - No, that wasn't why I told... - Yoo-hoo. Ash. You come here. 725 00:48:24,718 --> 00:48:27,346 Damn, girl, you clean up real nice. 726 00:48:27,521 --> 00:48:29,455 - Yeah, you really like this? - I do. 727 00:48:29,623 --> 00:48:32,251 - Okay. - Listen, honey, I am sorry. 728 00:48:32,426 --> 00:48:35,884 I have matured so much this past week. I am tired of being a jerk. 729 00:48:36,263 --> 00:48:38,857 You and me need a fresh start. Let me get you a drink. 730 00:48:39,032 --> 00:48:40,192 Hi. 731 00:48:40,367 --> 00:48:42,699 Hey, Ashley, let's go play a hot game of Scrabble. 732 00:48:42,869 --> 00:48:45,099 I am not liking you that much right now. 733 00:48:45,572 --> 00:48:46,834 Let's chug. 734 00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:52,441 Spring break tears people apart. 735 00:48:52,813 --> 00:48:55,281 - What's she doing here? - Go get Becky. 736 00:48:55,482 --> 00:48:57,074 I said, are you guys ready? 737 00:48:57,250 --> 00:48:59,946 It's time for the wet T-shirt contest. 738 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,247 Ladies, come on up. 739 00:49:06,393 --> 00:49:07,417 All right. 740 00:49:07,594 --> 00:49:08,618 Mason. Mason. 741 00:49:08,795 --> 00:49:11,093 You've gotta enter the wet T-shirt contest. 742 00:49:11,264 --> 00:49:12,561 Yeah. 743 00:49:14,234 --> 00:49:16,725 What...? What's...? What are...? What's going on here? 744 00:49:17,404 --> 00:49:18,701 I'm partying. 745 00:49:19,272 --> 00:49:22,435 - You don't party. - Nor should she. Yay! 746 00:49:22,843 --> 00:49:24,834 Dude, I am a total party girl. 747 00:49:25,012 --> 00:49:26,741 Somebody give me another drink. 748 00:49:26,913 --> 00:49:29,473 - Doug, get us another round. - Know what? Make that two. 749 00:49:29,650 --> 00:49:31,914 Let's Padre, people! 750 00:49:32,653 --> 00:49:34,712 Ashley, I know you want him back. 751 00:49:35,255 --> 00:49:37,450 Believe me, I am nothing to him. 752 00:49:37,624 --> 00:49:40,957 You gotta jump-start that man. Give him what he wants. 753 00:49:41,128 --> 00:49:42,891 If you shake it, he will come. 754 00:49:43,063 --> 00:49:47,159 No. No, let's not shake anything. Whoo! 755 00:49:47,334 --> 00:49:49,234 It's wet T-shirt time. 756 00:49:52,706 --> 00:49:54,901 Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, wait. 757 00:49:55,075 --> 00:49:57,100 Remember your Women's Studies class. 758 00:49:57,277 --> 00:49:59,507 And you remember what team you're on. 759 00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,204 Girls, get your cameras. 760 00:50:03,050 --> 00:50:04,449 Hey. Hey. 761 00:50:05,218 --> 00:50:08,551 Ashley's been skanked by the Sevens. 762 00:50:08,722 --> 00:50:10,952 Bye, I'll see you later. 763 00:50:19,633 --> 00:50:20,964 Ashley. 764 00:50:21,134 --> 00:50:24,297 Ashley. Ashley. Down, girl. 765 00:50:27,174 --> 00:50:28,801 Move. 766 00:50:29,042 --> 00:50:30,441 What's happening? 767 00:50:30,610 --> 00:50:33,135 They found out her mother might be famous. 768 00:50:33,313 --> 00:50:34,507 - Who told her? - I did. 769 00:50:34,681 --> 00:50:37,013 We tell each other everything, that's how it works. 770 00:50:37,184 --> 00:50:38,481 - Gayle. - Ashley! 771 00:50:38,985 --> 00:50:40,646 That's my girl. 772 00:50:59,506 --> 00:51:02,168 Ashley, you don't have to do this. 773 00:51:02,342 --> 00:51:03,673 You're not a Mason. 774 00:51:03,844 --> 00:51:05,744 I am now. 775 00:51:06,346 --> 00:51:08,041 What would the senator say? 776 00:51:10,217 --> 00:51:12,242 - The senator? - Yeah, your mother. 777 00:51:12,419 --> 00:51:14,250 My mother? 778 00:51:15,021 --> 00:51:16,955 Your brother. 779 00:51:17,491 --> 00:51:20,016 - She sent you, didn't she?! - No, no, I... 780 00:51:21,261 --> 00:51:24,059 I should have known those wrinkles weren't from the sun! 781 00:51:27,667 --> 00:51:29,897 I thought we were friends! 782 00:51:41,481 --> 00:51:43,847 Put me down. - I'm sorry, I had to do it. 783 00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:46,611 Judi, Gayle, I'm going to jail. 784 00:51:46,787 --> 00:51:48,118 Hey, hey. Let go of me. 785 00:51:49,856 --> 00:51:50,914 Hey, hey, hey, be strong. Be strong. 786 00:51:51,091 --> 00:51:53,252 Stop singing that song. 787 00:51:54,694 --> 00:51:56,355 Oh, does this mean we have to leave? 788 00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:58,020 Come on. 789 00:51:58,565 --> 00:52:00,533 I don't know. 790 00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:02,600 Oh, my God. Is she dead? 791 00:52:03,170 --> 00:52:05,604 Okay, I'll deal with this. You go to jail. 792 00:52:06,139 --> 00:52:09,233 This would not be happening at the Wimmin's Music Festival. 793 00:52:09,743 --> 00:52:11,267 Hi. 794 00:52:11,444 --> 00:52:14,607 Come on, old gal, here we go. All right. 795 00:52:14,781 --> 00:52:18,239 Christina Aguilera, what are you doing here? 796 00:52:22,956 --> 00:52:25,083 I hate you, Becky. 797 00:52:25,992 --> 00:52:28,586 - I feel really bad. - I feel like ass. 798 00:52:28,762 --> 00:52:29,922 You smell like ass. 799 00:52:30,864 --> 00:52:32,388 I was just doing my job. 800 00:52:32,566 --> 00:52:33,999 I thought you were my friend. 801 00:52:35,202 --> 00:52:36,829 - I am your friend. - No, you're not. 802 00:52:37,003 --> 00:52:39,301 You're just a butt-sucking liar. 803 00:52:39,706 --> 00:52:42,231 That sound like Deion, don't it? 804 00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:44,001 You're the one lying to your mom. 805 00:52:44,177 --> 00:52:46,407 Mama-love knows no bounds, honey. 806 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:48,844 God bless all the mamas. 807 00:52:49,850 --> 00:52:51,181 Look who's talking. 808 00:52:51,651 --> 00:52:53,642 You're the one trying to impress her. 809 00:52:53,820 --> 00:52:56,983 Let me guess. She told you to grow a pair of nuts. 810 00:52:57,157 --> 00:52:58,920 Oh, I hate that word. 811 00:52:59,092 --> 00:53:00,923 Yeah, they're nasty. 812 00:53:03,230 --> 00:53:04,663 If you'd just... 813 00:53:04,831 --> 00:53:06,822 If we all accept ourselves... 814 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,468 ...the way that we are, we'll be so much happier. 815 00:53:09,636 --> 00:53:10,625 - Word. - Amen. 816 00:53:10,804 --> 00:53:12,203 Like you and your friends? 817 00:53:14,274 --> 00:53:16,105 I miss my babies. 818 00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:18,301 I miss my babies. 819 00:53:31,458 --> 00:53:33,949 First of all, this place is disgust. 820 00:53:34,127 --> 00:53:38,325 Second of all, what are you doing at spring break anyway? 821 00:53:38,531 --> 00:53:41,557 Catholic school G. I love. 822 00:53:42,769 --> 00:53:44,293 What are you doing here? 823 00:53:45,505 --> 00:53:47,530 I want a second chance. 824 00:53:47,707 --> 00:53:48,867 Come home. 825 00:53:51,244 --> 00:53:54,213 What about your massage? 826 00:53:56,850 --> 00:53:59,614 I love women. 827 00:53:59,786 --> 00:54:03,984 I love their hair, I love their smooth skin. 828 00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:06,921 I'm a huge fan of those. 829 00:54:08,795 --> 00:54:10,695 I really wanna believe that. 830 00:54:11,197 --> 00:54:12,926 Then do. 831 00:54:15,368 --> 00:54:18,166 Look, I need to go. I have to go bail Becky out of jail. 832 00:54:18,338 --> 00:54:21,398 - You girls went craze, huh? - You don't even know. 833 00:54:22,475 --> 00:54:25,740 Jude, the firm dinner's this weekend. 834 00:54:25,946 --> 00:54:27,675 I could really use you by my side. 835 00:54:27,881 --> 00:54:31,681 - Why are you doing this to me? - Because people can't live alone forever. 836 00:54:31,851 --> 00:54:34,285 Judi, look. 837 00:54:34,454 --> 00:54:35,614 Let's have the wed. 838 00:54:36,289 --> 00:54:41,852 And then after, we'll have a really nice life "togeth. " 839 00:54:44,397 --> 00:54:47,594 Every spring, this place, she flares up like a cold sore. 840 00:54:47,767 --> 00:54:49,564 And I'm back for more. You know... 841 00:54:49,736 --> 00:54:54,298 ...the kids and the sex and the booze, you think it'll go on forever. 842 00:54:54,474 --> 00:55:00,071 But it's like one of them videos, you know, of a fireplace that you put on your TV. 843 00:55:00,246 --> 00:55:04,114 And, like, no matter how close you get to the screen... 844 00:55:04,284 --> 00:55:07,151 ...it's never gonna warm you up. 845 00:55:08,521 --> 00:55:12,719 I just wanted to be a stylist to the stars. 846 00:55:12,892 --> 00:55:15,360 - Oh, you still have time. - Do you think so? 847 00:55:15,528 --> 00:55:16,995 - Yeah. - You do? 848 00:55:17,163 --> 00:55:18,187 Yeah. 849 00:55:18,365 --> 00:55:20,356 Oh, hello there, fine fellow. 850 00:55:21,301 --> 00:55:23,565 - Who is this? - Oh, honey, that's a tree. 851 00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:26,433 My name is Charlene. 852 00:55:28,375 --> 00:55:31,105 What are you wearing? 853 00:55:33,013 --> 00:55:34,605 - All right. - I love him. 854 00:55:34,781 --> 00:55:36,043 - Yeah. - Don't touch me. 855 00:55:36,216 --> 00:55:38,081 - Okay. - Please touch me. 856 00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:39,411 - All right. - Thank you. 857 00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:41,281 Here we go. 858 00:55:41,755 --> 00:55:44,155 - Let's just stay here for a while. - You got it. 859 00:55:44,324 --> 00:55:45,791 - Okay, all right. - Okay. 860 00:55:54,768 --> 00:55:56,998 All right, ladies, you can go. 861 00:55:58,171 --> 00:56:01,163 - Judi, thank God. - Thank you. 862 00:56:01,341 --> 00:56:03,571 You guys, we have a little bit of a problem. 863 00:56:06,312 --> 00:56:07,336 Over here, over here. 864 00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:11,975 Ashley. - All right, that's enough. 865 00:56:12,152 --> 00:56:14,416 - Give the lady some room. - Can I get a comment? 866 00:56:14,587 --> 00:56:18,956 - There will be an official statement later. - That's the girl from the wet T-shirt contest. 867 00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:21,491 Right here, right here. - I am not a girl. 868 00:56:21,661 --> 00:56:23,526 I am a woman. 869 00:56:23,696 --> 00:56:25,527 - Now let us through. - Ashley, over here. 870 00:56:25,999 --> 00:56:29,457 After several Long Island iced teas, a strip show and a bar brawl... 871 00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:32,332 ...Ashley Hartmann, daughter of Senator Kay Bee Hartmann... 872 00:56:32,505 --> 00:56:35,133 ...potential vice-presidential appointee, was arrested... 873 00:56:35,308 --> 00:56:37,799 ...after spring-breaking on South Padre Island. 874 00:56:38,678 --> 00:56:41,579 Ashley's troubles couldn't come at a more inopportune moment... 875 00:56:41,748 --> 00:56:45,115 ...for the potential vice president, as the president is two days away... 876 00:56:45,285 --> 00:56:46,946 ...from announcing his selection. 877 00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,144 Motherf... 878 00:56:48,321 --> 00:56:51,381 Ashley kept, like, chugging. And I was all like, "Stop. " 879 00:56:51,558 --> 00:56:52,855 And she was all like, "No. " 880 00:56:53,026 --> 00:56:55,494 And then all of a sudden, she just starts thrashing... 881 00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:59,655 ...on this real unattractive lady, and I'm, like, thinking: 882 00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:03,234 " Oh, my God. Drinking and public displays of sex... 883 00:57:03,403 --> 00:57:06,895 - ... is, like, real bad for women. " - Can we turn this off, please, somebody? 884 00:57:07,073 --> 00:57:09,337 Just turn it off. Thank you. 885 00:57:20,487 --> 00:57:21,818 Let's pack it in and leave. 886 00:57:23,156 --> 00:57:25,590 What? No, I'm not going anywheres. 887 00:57:25,758 --> 00:57:27,953 We got two days of partying left, right, Judi? 888 00:57:28,361 --> 00:57:30,852 Actually, I need to go too. 889 00:57:31,297 --> 00:57:35,358 You guys, William and I reconciled. 890 00:57:35,535 --> 00:57:36,729 We are gonna get married. 891 00:57:38,204 --> 00:57:40,229 Sweetie, he's as gay as a goose. 892 00:57:40,406 --> 00:57:42,601 Mason says there's no such thing as gay men. 893 00:57:42,775 --> 00:57:45,972 - Just guys that haven't met her yet. - Enough with the Masons already. 894 00:57:46,146 --> 00:57:48,410 Oh, come on, don't be bagging on my girls. 895 00:57:48,581 --> 00:57:50,208 Hey, I thought we were your girls. 896 00:57:50,783 --> 00:57:52,011 Yeah. No, you are. 897 00:57:52,185 --> 00:57:55,643 Just the Sevens asked me to perform with them in the talent show... 898 00:57:55,822 --> 00:57:58,052 ...so I think I'm finally gonna win. 899 00:57:58,224 --> 00:58:00,055 I think your cornrows are too tight. 900 00:58:00,226 --> 00:58:02,694 How can you think about getting on a stage without us? 901 00:58:02,862 --> 00:58:04,693 Maybe you didn't hear me. I want to win. 902 00:58:04,864 --> 00:58:07,628 You haven't gotten sun here, you've gotten sun-damaged. 903 00:58:08,768 --> 00:58:10,793 Jiffy Pop. 904 00:58:10,970 --> 00:58:12,062 Ouch. 905 00:58:12,238 --> 00:58:15,639 You guys, focus. I just said I'm getting married. 906 00:58:15,808 --> 00:58:18,140 Now, why can't you two just be happy for me? 907 00:58:18,311 --> 00:58:20,973 - Judi, he's a gay. - Judi, he's a gay. 908 00:58:21,381 --> 00:58:22,973 Let this be a lesson to you girls. 909 00:58:23,149 --> 00:58:26,880 Never base your self-esteem on the validation from men. 910 00:58:27,053 --> 00:58:28,850 Or women. 911 00:58:29,022 --> 00:58:30,956 I might have low self-esteem... 912 00:58:31,124 --> 00:58:33,752 ...but at least I'm not rocking the gaucho pants. 913 00:58:34,494 --> 00:58:36,519 Honey gave me these pants. 914 00:58:36,696 --> 00:58:38,755 - For my 30th birthday. - You know what, Becky? 915 00:58:38,932 --> 00:58:42,891 She didn't give you those pants. Know why? Because cats can't give gifts, okay? 916 00:58:43,069 --> 00:58:44,730 Judi, tell her. She's delusional. 917 00:58:44,904 --> 00:58:47,771 Tell her, Judi. We can't spend every night playing Pictionary. 918 00:58:47,941 --> 00:58:48,965 You bought that game. 919 00:58:49,142 --> 00:58:52,009 - She bought that game. - Give me a break. Judi, pick a side. 920 00:58:52,178 --> 00:58:53,372 - Pick a side. - Pick a side. 921 00:58:53,546 --> 00:58:55,070 - Pick a side. - Pick a side. 922 00:58:55,248 --> 00:58:57,443 You guys, I don't need to pick a side... 923 00:58:57,717 --> 00:58:59,981 ...because I am getting married. 924 00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:04,515 And it will be a small, private affair. 925 00:59:04,691 --> 00:59:07,353 I'll be at the Hilton with my fianc�. 926 00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:12,158 You hear that? That's the sound of the party train. 927 00:59:12,332 --> 00:59:15,495 And this gal's gonna be on it. So peace. 928 00:59:18,705 --> 00:59:20,832 I'm sorry you had to see that. 929 00:59:22,075 --> 00:59:24,339 Let's get the hell out of here. 930 00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:29,805 Ashley, aren't you coming? 931 00:59:32,485 --> 00:59:34,077 No. 932 00:59:34,621 --> 00:59:36,111 What? 933 00:59:39,192 --> 00:59:43,288 Are we really gonna let those Seven bitches run us out of town? 934 00:59:43,529 --> 00:59:45,394 They're kind of the Eights now. 935 00:59:45,732 --> 00:59:47,461 I wanna enter in that talent show. 936 00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:51,998 I heard that sentence in college once. It ruined my life. 937 00:59:52,171 --> 00:59:53,695 Becky. 938 00:59:53,873 --> 00:59:55,568 Aren't you tired of being a doormat? 939 00:59:55,908 --> 00:59:59,537 Letting the Masons of the world just win all the time? 940 00:59:59,912 --> 01:00:03,814 This isn't just a talent show. This is war. 941 01:00:05,518 --> 01:00:09,921 Becky, you are not a cautionary tale. 942 01:00:11,324 --> 01:00:12,348 She's right. 943 01:00:13,393 --> 01:00:16,191 Let's take back the beach. 944 01:00:25,071 --> 01:00:27,062 - Charlene. - Oh, hi. 945 01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:29,367 We're starting a band. 946 01:00:29,542 --> 01:00:31,669 And I need your help. 947 01:00:31,844 --> 01:00:33,835 You need me? 948 01:00:54,267 --> 01:00:56,360 Yeah, hey. 949 01:00:56,536 --> 01:00:59,994 Stop. You know what? That viola cannot handle the melody. 950 01:01:00,173 --> 01:01:01,902 We need someone on keyboards. 951 01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:05,772 My cousin Lavonne plays the piano down at the church. We could give her a call. 952 01:01:05,945 --> 01:01:09,472 Oh, but she's such an alcoholic. Yeah, it's so sad. 953 01:01:12,385 --> 01:01:13,750 Ashley. 954 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,583 Oh, my God. Everybody's talking about you like you're some big star. 955 01:01:18,725 --> 01:01:20,955 I've decided to take you back. 956 01:01:22,028 --> 01:01:24,019 - Oh, gosh, really? - Really. 957 01:01:25,064 --> 01:01:26,691 You're the only girl for me. 958 01:01:26,866 --> 01:01:28,333 Oh, Douglas. 959 01:01:30,403 --> 01:01:31,836 Your mole's growing back. 960 01:02:07,573 --> 01:02:09,302 Ugh. 961 01:02:16,649 --> 01:02:18,981 On the left. All right, good. 962 01:02:20,620 --> 01:02:22,485 Got that. 963 01:02:24,724 --> 01:02:27,659 Welcome to the 37th Annual All-Girl Talent Show. 964 01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:30,261 I'm Dan, and you're about to see a lot of naughty. 965 01:02:30,430 --> 01:02:32,898 But first, let's say hello to our judges. 966 01:02:33,065 --> 01:02:35,465 Christopher Knight, Bruce Vilanch and La La. 967 01:02:35,635 --> 01:02:38,160 Ladies, five minutes to get to that table and register. 968 01:02:38,337 --> 01:02:40,737 So let's make that happen. Get it on! I'm Dan. 969 01:02:42,375 --> 01:02:44,605 Are we too late to sign up for the talent show? 970 01:02:44,777 --> 01:02:46,301 - Just made it. - Drink it. 971 01:02:46,479 --> 01:02:49,642 Lavonne, drink it. You have got to focus on the music. 972 01:02:50,016 --> 01:02:53,508 Dear God, thank you for making us sexy. 973 01:02:53,686 --> 01:02:56,086 We love you. Jesus is the best. 974 01:02:56,556 --> 01:02:58,080 And God bless our troops... 975 01:02:58,257 --> 01:03:02,387 ...the unborn, and all Sevens for all mankind. 976 01:03:02,562 --> 01:03:05,929 - Amen. - Praise him. 977 01:03:06,499 --> 01:03:08,524 It's so weird you guys are religious. 978 01:03:08,701 --> 01:03:10,293 Gayle. 979 01:03:11,771 --> 01:03:14,604 On the outside, I see you've changed. 980 01:03:15,908 --> 01:03:16,966 How are you? 981 01:03:17,143 --> 01:03:19,543 - Get away from us. - Good luck, Gayle. 982 01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:22,745 Let the show begin. 983 01:03:22,915 --> 01:03:26,407 Our first contestants come straight from the Pan-Asia Club of Florida State. 984 01:03:26,819 --> 01:03:30,118 The Hoochie Minh. 985 01:03:50,977 --> 01:03:54,504 And for the flight, I brought a copy of... Wait for it. 986 01:03:54,881 --> 01:03:57,111 Steel Magnoles. 987 01:03:57,283 --> 01:03:59,774 Oh. Yay. 988 01:03:59,952 --> 01:04:01,078 You look good, Jude. 989 01:04:01,988 --> 01:04:03,387 Really pretty. 990 01:04:03,556 --> 01:04:05,956 - You think? - Yes. 991 01:04:06,659 --> 01:04:08,627 - Hey. - Yes? 992 01:04:08,794 --> 01:04:12,059 Let's go over to that bathroom over there and do it. 993 01:04:12,231 --> 01:04:13,823 Jude, you just went. 994 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:16,468 No, I mean do it, like throw me up against a wall... 995 01:04:16,636 --> 01:04:18,501 ...and call me your dirty little slut. 996 01:04:19,071 --> 01:04:20,129 You're talking craze. 997 01:04:22,775 --> 01:04:25,039 - We have a problem, William. - What's that, Baby G? 998 01:04:25,478 --> 01:04:27,878 We don't have sex ever. 999 01:04:34,387 --> 01:04:36,014 Are you thirsty? 1000 01:04:36,188 --> 01:04:38,281 Because I am thirsty. 1001 01:04:40,826 --> 01:04:42,123 - I can't do this. - What? 1002 01:04:42,295 --> 01:04:43,660 I can't go back with you. 1003 01:04:43,829 --> 01:04:45,387 - Come again? - I can't marry you. 1004 01:04:45,565 --> 01:04:46,793 One more time. 1005 01:04:46,966 --> 01:04:49,434 How can I make you understand? 1006 01:04:49,702 --> 01:04:52,432 Okay, here's the "sitch," all right? 1007 01:04:52,605 --> 01:04:54,869 I'm at a real crucial "mome" in my life... 1008 01:04:55,041 --> 01:04:59,910 ...and I'm not just gonna settle for half a "relaish. " 1009 01:05:00,079 --> 01:05:01,808 I've still got a "fuetch. " 1010 01:05:01,981 --> 01:05:05,610 And, William, truth be T... 1011 01:05:05,918 --> 01:05:07,545 ...you're a total 'mo. 1012 01:05:31,444 --> 01:05:34,902 Hoochie Minh. Give it up for the Hoochie Minh. 1013 01:05:35,081 --> 01:05:38,209 Hoochie Minh, Hoochie Minh, Hoochie Minh. 1014 01:06:13,252 --> 01:06:15,049 Take it off! 1015 01:06:15,221 --> 01:06:18,122 - We are so much hotter than that. - Mm-hm. 1016 01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:20,588 We're so gonna win this. 1017 01:06:20,893 --> 01:06:23,453 Gayle, I'm putting you in the back row. 1018 01:06:23,629 --> 01:06:25,358 You're looking kind of bloated. 1019 01:06:25,531 --> 01:06:27,726 But I haven't eaten for two days. 1020 01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:30,630 Damn it, Gayle, you wanna win this thing or not? 1021 01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:33,304 Get this thing off me. 1022 01:06:33,973 --> 01:06:35,838 No! 1023 01:06:36,008 --> 01:06:37,805 Fran�ois. 1024 01:06:38,477 --> 01:06:40,411 What is wrong with you? 1025 01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:43,173 Dogs are our friends. They love our insides. 1026 01:06:43,549 --> 01:06:45,517 God, freak out much? 1027 01:06:45,685 --> 01:06:47,653 Dogs are gross. 1028 01:06:48,521 --> 01:06:51,456 You know what? I don't belong here. 1029 01:06:51,624 --> 01:06:53,114 Look at me, I look ridiculous. 1030 01:06:53,292 --> 01:06:54,623 I'm wearing a boa. 1031 01:06:54,794 --> 01:06:56,989 - Whose idea was this? - Yours. 1032 01:06:57,930 --> 01:07:00,524 Did I get caught up in the razzle-dazzle? Yes. 1033 01:07:00,700 --> 01:07:01,997 But you know what I learned? 1034 01:07:02,168 --> 01:07:03,897 These will get you here: 1035 01:07:04,070 --> 01:07:05,867 But this is gonna get you here: 1036 01:07:06,138 --> 01:07:08,003 And then this will get you way up here: 1037 01:07:08,174 --> 01:07:10,642 Then use this and this together, and you're up here: 1038 01:07:10,810 --> 01:07:13,370 And then you don't even care about these. 1039 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:15,713 Are you talking about boobs? 1040 01:07:15,881 --> 01:07:19,009 Oh, God. You know, I chase girls like you my whole life. 1041 01:07:19,185 --> 01:07:21,449 And you know what? You're all a bunch of bullies. 1042 01:07:21,620 --> 01:07:23,952 And you know what happens to bullies? 1043 01:07:25,324 --> 01:07:28,418 They get whatever they want, but they don't get love. 1044 01:07:28,594 --> 01:07:29,788 Real love. 1045 01:07:29,962 --> 01:07:32,294 Mary J. Blige style. Here. 1046 01:07:33,365 --> 01:07:36,129 Why don't you take this? Use it as a thong. 1047 01:07:36,302 --> 01:07:37,826 Gayle. 1048 01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:40,530 - Eat this. - Thank you. 1049 01:07:43,275 --> 01:07:46,403 This tastes so fucking good. 1050 01:07:47,379 --> 01:07:49,643 I am so tired of being hungry. 1051 01:07:49,815 --> 01:07:50,873 Let's go. 1052 01:07:51,050 --> 01:07:54,611 All right, people, give it up for the hottest chicks from the state of Texas. 1053 01:07:54,787 --> 01:07:56,516 The Sevens. 1054 01:08:28,020 --> 01:08:29,885 I trained them well. 1055 01:08:30,055 --> 01:08:31,989 Move. Come on. 1056 01:08:32,158 --> 01:08:33,352 Get, get. 1057 01:08:46,272 --> 01:08:47,933 Let's beat it. 1058 01:08:55,581 --> 01:08:58,414 Yeah. - That's what I'm talking about. 1059 01:08:59,618 --> 01:09:01,984 Take it off. - Go for it, baby. 1060 01:09:06,759 --> 01:09:08,090 Mason. 1061 01:09:08,260 --> 01:09:10,888 Lavonne. Lavonne, you gotta keep it together. 1062 01:09:11,297 --> 01:09:13,026 Becky's Friendz, you're up next. 1063 01:09:13,199 --> 01:09:16,066 Becky's Friendz? That's the name of our group? 1064 01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:17,725 All right, that's it, Ashley. 1065 01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,768 Your spring break is over, girls. 1066 01:09:19,939 --> 01:09:20,997 Grab her, boys. 1067 01:09:21,807 --> 01:09:22,831 Senator, please. 1068 01:09:23,008 --> 01:09:24,635 Betty, Betty, Betty. 1069 01:09:24,810 --> 01:09:27,938 I think that you have done just about enough. 1070 01:09:28,113 --> 01:09:31,173 I never should have sent a weak-willed number cruncher. 1071 01:09:31,350 --> 01:09:34,114 God, I hate plain women, I really do. 1072 01:09:35,788 --> 01:09:37,278 You know what? 1073 01:09:37,456 --> 01:09:40,516 "Hate" is a strong word. 1074 01:09:40,693 --> 01:09:42,388 And I am not plain. 1075 01:09:42,561 --> 01:09:44,222 I'm Becky St. Germaine. 1076 01:09:44,396 --> 01:09:46,261 And you know what else? 1077 01:09:47,733 --> 01:09:49,200 You can eat me, you cracker. 1078 01:09:50,102 --> 01:09:51,694 Who are you calling a cracker? 1079 01:09:52,471 --> 01:09:55,963 - Back it up! - Mama. Mama, please listen. 1080 01:09:58,277 --> 01:10:00,108 I'm not the daughter you thought I was. 1081 01:10:00,279 --> 01:10:02,110 I'm not popular. 1082 01:10:02,615 --> 01:10:06,107 I've never pole-danced and I didn't get into any sororities. 1083 01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:08,276 Not even the lesbian one. 1084 01:10:09,722 --> 01:10:12,020 These are my friends. 1085 01:10:13,092 --> 01:10:15,253 Mama, I'm plain. 1086 01:10:15,427 --> 01:10:17,918 There is nothing special about me. 1087 01:10:18,097 --> 01:10:20,497 Don't you ever say that again. 1088 01:10:20,666 --> 01:10:22,133 Hello? You're on. 1089 01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:24,201 We have to get out there, Ashley. 1090 01:10:24,904 --> 01:10:27,566 Go, go, go. 1091 01:10:27,740 --> 01:10:30,641 Go, go, go. 1092 01:10:30,809 --> 01:10:32,504 Oh, baby. 1093 01:10:32,678 --> 01:10:34,839 All right, get your butt up on that stage. 1094 01:10:35,214 --> 01:10:37,148 But keep your top on, all right? 1095 01:10:37,316 --> 01:10:40,217 - Let's do it. - Chip off the old block, that one is. 1096 01:10:40,386 --> 01:10:44,288 Sevens are the team to beat. Let's see if the next group of girls has what it takes. 1097 01:10:44,456 --> 01:10:48,187 Ladies and gentlemen, holler out for Becky's Friendz. With a Z. 1098 01:10:48,627 --> 01:10:50,254 Yeah. 1099 01:10:50,429 --> 01:10:52,522 Thank you so much, everyone. 1100 01:10:55,167 --> 01:10:58,330 Y'all, Lavonne's done. I'm so sorry. 1101 01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:01,496 - Sorry, sorry. - Go home! 1102 01:11:03,242 --> 01:11:04,937 Forget about it. 1103 01:11:05,110 --> 01:11:06,441 Get off the stage! 1104 01:11:08,247 --> 01:11:09,874 Ladies. 1105 01:11:10,316 --> 01:11:12,045 Judi. 1106 01:11:12,651 --> 01:11:14,619 Let's do this. 1107 01:11:15,888 --> 01:11:18,083 Two, three, four. 1108 01:13:27,052 --> 01:13:28,485 What? 1109 01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:33,553 You suck! 1110 01:13:36,929 --> 01:13:39,261 Hey. Hey, you know what, South Padre? 1111 01:13:39,431 --> 01:13:42,423 We don't care what you think because we're freaking awesome. 1112 01:13:42,601 --> 01:13:44,694 Yeah, so smoke on that, spring break. 1113 01:13:45,938 --> 01:13:47,906 What's the matter, y'all? 1114 01:13:48,607 --> 01:13:50,541 Hey, all you regular girls, give it up. 1115 01:13:50,843 --> 01:13:53,243 Clap, come on. Give it up. 1116 01:13:53,412 --> 01:13:55,141 Yeah. 1117 01:13:56,415 --> 01:13:58,110 We're not going anywhere. 1118 01:13:58,283 --> 01:13:59,944 And just wait till next year. 1119 01:14:04,490 --> 01:14:08,017 And this is for Honey, my dead cat. 1120 01:14:09,094 --> 01:14:11,187 - Yeah! - Give it up. 1121 01:14:14,133 --> 01:14:16,693 Dead cat, dead cat, dead cat. 1122 01:14:16,869 --> 01:14:18,894 Dead cat, dead cat. 1123 01:14:19,071 --> 01:14:21,801 Way to go, girls. Way to... 1124 01:14:23,742 --> 01:14:25,471 Becky. 1125 01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:30,014 Ladies and gentlemen... 1126 01:14:30,182 --> 01:14:32,980 ...the next vice president of the United States of America... 1127 01:14:33,152 --> 01:14:35,586 ...Senator Kay Bee Hartmann and her daughter, Ashley. 1128 01:14:35,754 --> 01:14:38,814 - We're gonna save the environment. - Can you tell us about...? 1129 01:14:38,991 --> 01:14:41,619 Mason here, Ashley's best friend. 1130 01:14:42,628 --> 01:14:44,960 - I don't know her. - Get that girl out of the shot. 1131 01:14:46,798 --> 01:14:49,961 Come on, ladies. Let's go. 1132 01:15:18,697 --> 01:15:20,164 Please don't hurt me. 1133 01:15:20,332 --> 01:15:22,994 Don't say anything, just listen. 1134 01:15:24,336 --> 01:15:28,102 I want you to know that you've changed me. 1135 01:15:28,273 --> 01:15:33,301 And not a day will go by when I don't think about our time together. 1136 01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:37,579 But you're so young... 1137 01:15:37,749 --> 01:15:40,377 ...with so many dreams and years ahead of you. 1138 01:15:42,154 --> 01:15:45,453 It could never work between us, I know that now... 1139 01:15:45,624 --> 01:15:50,288 ...but always know that you're in my soul. 1140 01:15:53,765 --> 01:15:55,164 Wait. 1141 01:16:18,357 --> 01:16:20,086 Goodbye. 1142 01:16:52,891 --> 01:16:56,452 Oh, hey, you guys, let's take a picture so we'll always remember this trip. 1143 01:16:56,628 --> 01:16:58,994 - Charlene. - Okay. 1144 01:16:59,865 --> 01:17:02,299 Okay, all right. Get together, y'all, all right. 1145 01:17:02,467 --> 01:17:07,632 - Ready? One, two... - Cheese. 1146 01:17:11,176 --> 01:17:15,112 Ashley will not be speaking at a fundamentalist college, no. 1147 01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:18,147 And also, we are focusing on the family and the environment... 1148 01:17:18,317 --> 01:17:21,286 ...so you can tell those anti-immigration dudes to shove it. 1149 01:17:21,653 --> 01:17:24,816 Oh, my God. I've only been on eHarmony for two weeks... 1150 01:17:24,990 --> 01:17:27,652 ...and I already have 23 coffees lined up. 1151 01:17:27,826 --> 01:17:31,159 - You go, girl. - Guys, are we making pizzas or what? 1152 01:17:31,330 --> 01:17:33,491 - Oh, yeah. - I gotta go. 1153 01:17:34,266 --> 01:17:37,326 - You got me the mini pepperonis again. - Put a smiley face on mine. 1154 01:17:37,502 --> 01:17:39,402 - That's really amazing. - I'll do that too. 1155 01:17:39,571 --> 01:17:41,436 Okay, guys, I got an idea. Movie Numbers. 1156 01:17:41,606 --> 01:17:44,040 Only Movie Numbers Extreme. 1157 01:17:44,209 --> 01:17:46,905 - Ooh! - One to 20. 1158 01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:50,173 Okay, I'll start, I'll start. It Happened One Night. 1159 01:17:50,349 --> 01:17:51,941 - Basic Instinct 2. - Nice. 1160 01:17:52,117 --> 01:17:54,711 - Three Men and a Little Lady. - I love Steve Guttenberg. 1161 01:17:54,886 --> 01:17:58,822 - I love Steve Guttenberg. - Okay. Fantastic Four. 1162 01:17:58,990 --> 01:18:00,423 - Nine to Five. - That's so good. 1163 01:18:00,592 --> 01:18:02,753 That's three numbers, nine, two, five. Okay. 1164 01:18:56,148 --> 01:18:58,412 You're a pretty puppy. 1165 01:19:00,452 --> 01:19:05,014 This is really degrading to women. Really. 1166 01:19:12,697 --> 01:19:15,325 We're kind of like Laverne and Shirl. 1167 01:19:31,349 --> 01:19:33,180 I can't... I can't... 1168 01:19:33,351 --> 01:19:35,444 South Padre. 1169 01:19:38,757 --> 01:19:41,089 You know what this lawn chair reminds me of? 1170 01:19:41,259 --> 01:19:44,422 - What? - The time I had sex on a lawn chair. 1171 01:19:44,596 --> 01:19:46,325 What?