1
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,378
Boxers!

2
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,634
Not one step further.

3
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:04,928
The keeper of the Imperial Seal,

4
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,849
just the man I was looking for.

5
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,061
A woman.

6
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,731
You Chinese are very progressive.

7
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,394
A gift from an old friend.

8
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,855
Wu Chow.

9
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,650
He wanted me to send his regards.

10
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,615
Father!

11
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,170
Father.

12
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,048
The Seal,

13
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,050
you must get it back.

14
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,429
I promise.

15
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,180
Give this

16
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,891
to your brother.

17
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,048
What are you reading?

18
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:51,648
Roy O'Bannon vs The Mummy.

19
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,138
It's incredible.

20
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,223
Roy's just taken out
the Mummy's entire army

21
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,975
of zombie confederate soldiers,

22
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,894
and he only had one bullet.

23
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,562
That's impossible.

24
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,897
Oh, no, it's not.

25
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,649
Roy figured out
the physics of the Canyon

26
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,444
and then ricocheted a bullet
off the Canyon wall,

27
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,237
nailed each zombie through the heart.

28
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,698
What about the Shanghai Kid?

29
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,450
He was captured
and knocked out on page 10

30
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,410
while he was polishing
Roy's pearl handles.

31
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,536
Don't you worry.

32
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,539
Roy's about to save him from
becoming a human sacrifice.

33
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,501
Those stories are all lies.

34
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,585
No. See?

35
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,045
It says right here on the back.

36
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:28,381
Author Sage McCallister
bases all his stories

37
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,925
on firsthand accounts.

38
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,073
Sorry, Sheriff.

39
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,449
No princess.

40
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,830
Every day you meet the noon stage,

41
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,457
every day it's the same story.

42
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,001
She's not coming back.

43
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,380
Pei Pei's married to her work
in San Francisco.

44
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:09,923
Modern woman.

45
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,092
You got a parcel.

46
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,470
Maybe it's from her!

47
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,931
No. It's from my sister in China.

48
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,524
I know.

49
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,615
I know. I must go.

50
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:19,784
Stay here and be a good horsey
for the new sheriff.

51
00:10:25,366 --> 00:10:28,501
Sheriff, that stage is headed east.

52
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,129
Isn't China kind of west of here?

53
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,049
I'm not going to China.
I'm going to New York.

54
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,675
Roy invested my money.

55
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,512
Is it true that he lives
in a penthouse at the top of The Ritz

56
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,139
surrounded by dozens
of beautiful women

57
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,724
at his every beck and call?

58
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,309
That's the old Roy.

59
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,394
He's married, settled down.

60
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,064
Trust me, he's changed.

61
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,900
So there we were,

62
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,693
completely outnumbered.

63
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,529
You didn't have to tell me
we didn't stand a chance.

64
00:10:56,572 --> 00:11:00,158
So I send the Shanghai Kid
and the Princess out the back.

65
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,243
Poor Shanghai Kid.
He was so frightened.

66
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,788
He forgot to thank me for saving his life.

67
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,498
I'm used to that.

68
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,667
I return to the front.

69
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,460
And I counted to three,

70
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,754
and I burst out of the mission,

71
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,799
pearl handles blazing,
lead flying everywhere,

72
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,760
and not a single bullet touched me.

73
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,095
No!

74
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,179
Yeah.

75
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,515
What happened to the emperor's gold?

76
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,724
We divided it up.

77
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,936
I insisted on giving my share
to the Indians, of course.

78
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,437
The savages?

79
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:33,817
Please don't ever call
those noble people savages.

80
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,276
If being proud of your body

81
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,654
and wanting to ride around naked
all day makes you a savage,

82
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,823
then, by God,
you're drinking with a savage.

83
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,632
And that is what you call a French toast.

84
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,635
You are so sophisticated,
Mr. O'Bannon.

85
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,141
Who's up for some more bubbly?

86
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,321
Reach for the sky, Roy.

87
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,949
Say that again.

88
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,160
Reach for the sky, Roy.

89
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,871
Chon Wang!

90
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,664
You sly son of a gun!

91
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,666
- Look at you.
- Look at you.

92
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:32,917
What brings you to New York?

93
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,961
My share of the gold.

94
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,088
Refresh my memory.
What gold are we talking about?

95
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,173
The emperor's gold.

96
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,926
Okay, now, that gold is in

97
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,763
what the Wall Street pros
call a long-term investment.

98
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,806
We can't touch it because it's building.

99
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:47,849
I need it tonight.

100
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,851
You just got here.
Let's celebrate a little bit.

101
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:50,935
No. I don't have time.

102
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,480
- You just got to the big city.
- My father's been killed.

103
00:12:57,999 --> 00:12:59,652
Chon, I'm...

104
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,988
You need the money to
get back for the funeral?

105
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,492
No. I must go to England.
The ship leaves tonight.

106
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,993
Your father died in England?

107
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,496
China. My sister followed
the murderer to London.

108
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,166
I'm a little bit mixed up.

109
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,585
Let me see if I can get the facts straight.

110
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,505
You have a sister? You never
told me you had a sister.

111
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,799
Is she pretty or does she look
like you, Chon? Be honest.

112
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,218
Roy, I need my money!

113
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,386
I don't like that tone of voice.

114
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,014
You think after all we've been through
I'd stiff you?

115
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,140
In case you hadn't noticed,

116
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,558
I'm doing pretty well for myself.

117
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,726
Yeah.

118
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:33,978
I'm sorry, Roy.

119
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,563
That's okay.

120
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,690
You're going through
a really tough time right now.

121
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,526
You got to be more trusting
of people, okay?

122
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,402
Look at me. It's Roy.

123
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,655
The couple at table five
is ready to order.

124
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,077
Do you work here?

125
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,495
No, I don't work here.

126
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,914
It looks like these guys
are wearing a similar jacket.

127
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,707
Roy, here's your cut of the tips.

128
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,841
It's the craziest thing. I guess...

129
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,509
I guess because
I come in here so much,

130
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,219
they're mistaking me for a waiter.

131
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,763
- It's embarrassing.
- You lost the gold.

132
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,349
Not all of it.

133
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,433
Where's the rest?

134
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,435
I have one word for you.

135
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,770
Zeppelin.

136
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,022
I need my money now!

137
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,774
Easy, easy.

138
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,111
Will you do anything for this money?

139
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,113
Yes. I must leave tonight.

140
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,282
Okay. Take this key.

141
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,075
Go to the room. Get cleaned up.

142
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,535
Your old pal Roy's got a plan.

143
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,287
Go! Come on!

144
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,305
Howdy, big boy.

145
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,817
What?

146
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,653
There's a woman in there!
She wants me to sleep with her.

147
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,905
Of course she does.

148
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,823
I told her the Great Wall
ain't the only big thing

149
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,158
coming out of China.

150
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,326
Why did you say that?

151
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,660
So you could get the money.

152
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,829
I will not sleep with women for money!

153
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,582
Why? I'm gonna sleep
with her for money.

154
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,502
Chon, just go in there
and do your business

155
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:23,504
and think about your sister in England.

156
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,298
- What?
- Roy!

157
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,382
Duty calls.

158
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,508
Roy!

159
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,515
Good evening, Mr. Mayor.

160
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:35,975
Where are they?

161
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,310
Who?

162
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,979
My daughters.

163
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,105
10th floor.

164
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,323
Roy, you got trouble.

165
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,075
Roy!

166
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,201
I got to check on something.

167
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:54,994
I'll be right back.

168
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,123
Chon, new plan. We got to go.

169
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,833
Chon, what are you doing?

170
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,293
I'm fixing her back.

171
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,671
Put her down, you decadent philistine.

172
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,049
Hey, Chon.

173
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,217
Come on, let's go!

174
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,427
- Bye-bye!
- Bye.

175
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,720
Come on!

176
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,016
I don't understand. What's going on?

177
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,559
I don't have time to explain.

178
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,979
All you have to know is
there are bad men after us,

179
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,563
but I'm in the right.

180
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,731
Roy.

181
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,318
Chon, come on,
you gotta trust me on this one.

182
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,403
Okay, look.

183
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,114
I'm in a transitional phase
in my life right now.

184
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,448
But what?

185
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,536
You want to know the truth?

186
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,371
I'm a little lost right now.

187
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,456
You've got a sense of purpose.

188
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,708
But look at me.

189
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,085
I'm a 30-year-old waiter/gigolo.

190
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,587
Where's the future in that?

191
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,136
So, what's the plan?

192
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,263
You were always my compass, Chon.

193
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,515
The plan.
You ask me the right questions.

194
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,851
The plan? The plan, I think,

195
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,352
is to find the right woman,

196
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,771
raise a lot of children,
and teach them values...

197
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,482
No, Roy, the plan to get out of here.

198
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,443
Okay, the plan. Here we go.

199
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,956
- Cops! Cops!
- They can help us.

200
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,791
No, no. Chon, not these cops.

201
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,293
These are dirty cops.

202
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,836
They take advantage of people.

203
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:31,215
Now, if they stop us,
remember, I'm not Roy O'Bannon.

204
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,967
Who are you?

205
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,345
I'm your friend Smoky Desperado
from the west.

206
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,680
And who am I?

207
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,807
You... You're Benihana.

208
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,434
Benihana.

209
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,685
Yeah. You teach...

210
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,480
You teach crippled children yoga
here in the city.

211
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,647
Okay, you go first.

212
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,733
No! Why me?

213
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,902
Because you blend in, okay?

214
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,320
Now, go!

215
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,280
Don't let them see you!

216
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,949
Benihana.

217
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,176
Hey! Hey!

218
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,241
Chon!

219
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,285
Come on, stop wasting time.

220
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,416
You!

221
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,084
Chon, I found our ticket out of here.

222
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,296
We're on our way.

223
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,256
Looks like old Roy came through again.

224
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,341
Just like old times, Chon.

225
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,135
Check over there!

226
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,761
Over to the alley!

227
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,096
That way!

228
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,269
Yeah, just like old times.

229
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,188
Will you forget about
the gold for a second?

230
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,898
You're gonna have more money
than you ever dreamed of

231
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,358
when that first zeppelin takes off.

232
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,527
Why do I always believe you?

233
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,446
What do you mean?

234
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,573
You're lucky I didn't invest

235
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,367
in that ridiculous automobile idea.

236
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,369
Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.

237
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,896
What's that?

238
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,814
I'm in the doghouse.

239
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,151
Oh, come on, Chon.

240
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,278
Look, I'm sorry I lied.

241
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,864
I just didn't want to disappoint you.

242
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,159
That's exactly what I mean.

243
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,911
I can't take that look.

244
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,622
I learned it from my father.

245
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,999
That's how he used to look at me.

246
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,670
What did your dad do?
Was he an Imperial Guard?

247
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:56,796
No.

248
00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,631
Much more important.

249
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,134
He was the keeper of the Imperial Seal.

250
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,761
That's what I love about China,

251
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:06,472
everybody's job description
sounds so damn cool.

252
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,684
The Seal has been symbol
of the emperor's power

253
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:10,977
since Genghis Khan.

254
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:14,355
It has been passed down
from one emperor to another.

255
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:18,025
My family have been watching over it
for 12 generations.

256
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,568
Twelve generations?

257
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:24,031
My father and I used to
skip stones across the moat

258
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:28,035
and talk about a day
I would follow his footsteps.

259
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,123
I was his only son.

260
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:36,168
If I'd have been there,
I could have protected him.

261
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,629
It's not your fault.
You were 3,000 miles away.

262
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,634
What's with that little box?

263
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,430
My sister sent it to me from my father.

264
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,224
There's a message inside.

265
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,726
What's it say?

266
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,061
It's a puzzle box.
I don't know how to open yet.

267
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,439
You don't know how to open it?
Get a hammer and smash it open

268
00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:57,815
so you can see what it says.

269
00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,692
I must have patience.

270
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,445
By the time I'm able to open it,

271
00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,030
I will be ready to read the message.

272
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,614
Oh, come on, Confucius,

273
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,491
that's the corniest thing I've ever heard.

274
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:12,246
Let me see this.

275
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,001
You know what?

276
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:18,919
We're gonna go to England.

277
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,588
We're gonna find your dad's killer.

278
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,048
We're gonna get that seal back.

279
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:23,674
There's no reward for this, Roy.

280
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,092
Who said anything about a reward?

281
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,179
I'm talking about friendship,
loyalty, honor.

282
00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:29,805
Okay?

283
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:32,475
Thank you, Roy.

284
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,313
And I hear England is ass soup,

285
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,648
a lot of pretty girls there.

286
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:54,121
First order of business, my lords,

287
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:58,334
is a report from our esteemed
friend Lord Rathbone

288
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:03,130
who recently returned from
a diplomatic mission to China.

289
00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:15,851
Fellow lords,

290
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:19,855
I'm afraid I bring disturbing
news from the Orient.

291
00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:23,234
The opium wars have ravaged the land.

292
00:23:23,318 --> 00:23:25,528
The emperor's enemies are organizing.

293
00:23:25,987 --> 00:23:28,406
The most vicious are the Boxers,

294
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:32,243
a godless band of rebels
who murder without discretion.

295
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:35,996
China is not well.

296
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,836
I have brought back an envoy
who should give us some insight

297
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,297
into the inscrutable mind
of the Chinese.

298
00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,094
Is he mad?

299
00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:54,348
Given to Her Majesty Queen Victoria
by the emperor

300
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:58,185
in recognition of
her 50 glorious years on the throne.

301
00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:01,730
Outrageousness!

302
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:04,817
Long live the Queen.

303
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:18,747
<i>England swings
like a pendulum do</i>

304
00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:21,959
<i>Bobbies on bicycles
two by two</i>

305
00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:25,421
<i>Westminster Abbey
the tower of Big Ben</i>

306
00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:27,882
<i>The rosy red cheeks
of the little children</i>

307
00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:30,468
Jack the Ripper strikes again!

308
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:31,719
Extra! Extra!

309
00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:33,554
Read all about it.

310
00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,139
Howdy, partner.

311
00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:38,267
The English are not very friendly.

312
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,352
They're just sore losers.

313
00:24:40,770 --> 00:24:42,354
What did they lose?

314
00:24:42,397 --> 00:24:45,483
A little thing called
the American Revolution, Chon.

315
00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:47,109
Never heard of it.

316
00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,652
I'll give you the highlights.

317
00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,279
They came over
with about a million men.

318
00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:52,072
We had a bunch of farmers
with pitchforks

319
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,241
and beat 'em like a drum.

320
00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:55,451
Extra! Extra!

321
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,619
Hey!

322
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:59,705
Hey! I'm walking here!

323
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,833
You're driving
on the wrong side of the road!

324
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:06,462
Bunch of amateurs.
These people don't get it.

325
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,506
Hello, ladies.

326
00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:13,594
Look at you.

327
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:16,263
What, I'm not supposed
to notice a pretty lady?

328
00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:18,599
I thought you wanted to
settle down and have a family.

329
00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:21,602
I do, Chon. I just hope I can.

330
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:23,020
Why not?

331
00:25:23,104 --> 00:25:24,104
Sometimes I worry

332
00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:26,315
that all the damn horseback riding

333
00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:28,067
I did out in the west,

334
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:30,194
bouncing up and down
on the hard saddles,

335
00:25:30,278 --> 00:25:33,948
might have made it
so my salmon don't swim upstream

336
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,324
the way they're supposed to.

337
00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:37,826
What?

338
00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:39,703
I might be shooting blanks.

339
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,124
Don't say anything.

340
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,878
Roy, it's okay.

341
00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,756
Some people are not meant
to have a family.

342
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,842
I've always had such
a special connection with children.

343
00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:55,344
The little ankle-biters...

344
00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:57,388
Hey! Watch it, you little punk!

345
00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:58,973
Pardon me, guv.

346
00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:04,937
You gents lost your way?

347
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,523
Yeah, we're looking for my sister.

348
00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:10,442
She's staying at 32 Oxford Street.

349
00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:13,487
I know it well, guv.
Me old man used to live there.

350
00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:15,573
Can you show us the way?

351
00:26:16,783 --> 00:26:19,493
Memory's a little dodgy,

352
00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:23,205
but I'm sure for a bob
I could get you there.

353
00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:26,166
What do you take us for?
Okies from Muskogee?

354
00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:29,169
Go sell your bullshit someplace else.
We're not buying it.

355
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,131
Thanks for the tip, guv.

356
00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:34,258
Hey! I stole that watch from my uncle!

357
00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:35,426
What?

358
00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:56,947
This way.

359
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,287
Come here, you little rubbish-eater!

360
00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:06,373
What did I tell you about
poaching on our turf, Charlie?

361
00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,542
I'm on the straight and narrow. Honest.

362
00:27:13,548 --> 00:27:15,382
Oh, what's this then?

363
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:17,551
After I'm through beating you,

364
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:20,512
you're gonna wish you never
ran away from the workhouse!

365
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:22,056
Leave the boy alone.

366
00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,516
Bloody tourists!

367
00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:26,143
Get your noses out of it!

368
00:27:26,227 --> 00:27:28,062
Do whatever you want to the kid,

369
00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:29,688
but that's my watch you're holding.

370
00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:33,942
There's a load of us
and only two of you.

371
00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:35,736
So piss off!

372
00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:38,572
Easy, fellas.
You've lost one war this way.

373
00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:40,240
Don't make the same mistake twice.

374
00:27:56,549 --> 00:27:58,300
Come on! After him!

375
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:05,766
Hey!

376
00:28:11,564 --> 00:28:12,940
There he is! Get him!

377
00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:14,817
We've got him now.
Come on. Move in, lads.

378
00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:16,527
Come on, move in.

379
00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:40,175
Wait, wait!

380
00:28:40,660 --> 00:28:41,593
Wait!

381
00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:52,438
Come on! Get him!

382
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,939
Up the bloody ladder!

383
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:55,232
Come on!

384
00:29:24,679 --> 00:29:26,722
Hey! Hey!

385
00:29:28,867 --> 00:29:29,892
Watch it!

386
00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,233
Hey.

387
00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:06,678
Come here, you!

388
00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:39,586
Cool.

389
00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,273
Come on!

390
00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:00,607
Move it!

391
00:31:07,782 --> 00:31:08,991
Come on!

392
00:31:39,355 --> 00:31:40,355
You!

393
00:31:54,495 --> 00:31:56,121
Did you see that?

394
00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:57,789
It's okay.

395
00:31:57,832 --> 00:31:58,999
Okay?

396
00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:00,667
I call that one my kung pao chicken.

397
00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:02,461
I clotheslined the sucker.

398
00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:05,422
Come on, get back!

399
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,673
Clear away!

400
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:07,799
Come on!

401
00:32:07,842 --> 00:32:09,134
Make way!

402
00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:25,317
I think you gentlemen should
accompany me back to the Yard.

403
00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:28,362
This isn't a yard! It's a jail!

404
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:29,780
Roy, calm down.

405
00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:33,033
Unbelievable.

406
00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:37,537
Wait, someone's coming!

407
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:39,873
- Let me handle this.
- I'm gonna handle it, okay?

408
00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:41,500
The English aren't like you.

409
00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:43,418
They don't get
all emotional touchy-feely.

410
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:44,628
Do me a favor.

411
00:32:44,712 --> 00:32:47,089
Park the kung fu. Let me do the talking.

412
00:32:49,550 --> 00:32:52,219
Come here! Let me give you a hug.

413
00:32:55,223 --> 00:32:58,350
I've been after
that Fleet Street gang for two years.

414
00:32:58,393 --> 00:33:00,227
Then you two come along
and bring them down

415
00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:01,687
in a single afternoon.

416
00:33:01,729 --> 00:33:03,897
Brilliant! Now...

417
00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,357
Oh, that's my watch!

418
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,359
Yes, a street urchin turned it in.

419
00:33:07,402 --> 00:33:09,277
The little punk better not
have scuffed it.

420
00:33:09,362 --> 00:33:11,238
I do hope your luck picks up.

421
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:12,406
What do you mean, my luck?

422
00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:13,782
I deduced from your watch

423
00:33:13,866 --> 00:33:15,450
that you'd hit rather a rough patch.

424
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:17,202
He has. How do you know?

425
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,997
It's an investigative technique
I've developed.

426
00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:23,208
I can deduce intimate details
about an individual

427
00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:25,460
through a close scrutiny
of their personal effects.

428
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:27,921
What else can you tell?

429
00:33:30,591 --> 00:33:34,594
The owner of this watch
is a bad gambler

430
00:33:34,637 --> 00:33:36,138
and a lousy shot.

431
00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:38,765
Although he's cheated death
several times,

432
00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:42,144
he spends most of his life
wandering in a rather pathetic

433
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:45,313
and futile search
for purpose and respect.

434
00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:47,482
Oh, yes.

435
00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:50,652
He has a penchant for loose women.

436
00:33:52,971 --> 00:33:54,573
That's amazing.

437
00:33:54,615 --> 00:33:56,825
I'm sure it's a very popular party trick

438
00:33:56,909 --> 00:33:58,577
at birthdays for small children,

439
00:33:58,619 --> 00:34:01,621
but it doesn't quite play with adults.

440
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:03,123
Just to set the record straight,

441
00:34:03,207 --> 00:34:05,917
Roy O'Bannon is not attracted
to loose women.

442
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,627
Loose women are attracted to me.

443
00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:09,796
- You're Roy O'Bannon?
- Yeah.

444
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:11,965
The famous western folk hero?

445
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,216
Have you heard of me?

446
00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:14,634
Have I heard of you?

447
00:34:14,677 --> 00:34:18,013
I've only read Roy O'Bannon
vs The Mummy five times.

448
00:34:18,097 --> 00:34:19,264
It's fascinating.

449
00:34:19,348 --> 00:34:21,058
I want you to meet the Shanghai Kid.

450
00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:22,309
Oh, yes.

451
00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:24,853
The faithful Chinese sidekick.

452
00:34:24,937 --> 00:34:28,356
I'm not a sidekick.
Those stories are all lies.

453
00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,692
Hey! Come on. Don't be bitter.

454
00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:32,986
I can't help
what Sage McCallister writes.

455
00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:36,364
If there's anything I can do,
I'm at your service.

456
00:34:36,866 --> 00:34:38,283
We're looking for my sister.

457
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:39,910
She's staying at this address.

458
00:34:40,620 --> 00:34:42,496
Can you take us there?

459
00:34:42,997 --> 00:34:44,247
Oh, dear.

460
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:47,375
I think you'd better come with me.

461
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:02,432
Hey.

462
00:35:13,736 --> 00:35:14,736
Lin.

463
00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:17,614
Wang.

464
00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:19,491
Wang.

465
00:35:24,830 --> 00:35:27,457
If you don't mind,
I'll just wait outside.

466
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:31,586
Introduce me.

467
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:34,714
Oh, this is Lin, my baby sister.

468
00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:39,136
Roy O'Bannon.

469
00:35:40,888 --> 00:35:41,930
Pleasure.

470
00:35:43,015 --> 00:35:45,642
You never told me
your sister was such a...

471
00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:47,519
Beautiful lotus blossom.

472
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:55,402
What'd she say?

473
00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:59,406
No, no, no. No talking about me
in your native tongue.

474
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:01,908
Why are you in jail?

475
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,785
I followed the man who murdered father.

476
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,162
And?

477
00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:06,872
I found out where he live.

478
00:36:06,914 --> 00:36:09,624
I snuck inside his house
and tried to kill him.

479
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:11,751
It's my duty to find Father's killer.

480
00:36:11,794 --> 00:36:14,462
No, it is mine! I'm the one
who promised Father.

481
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:15,922
But I'm his only son.

482
00:36:16,132 --> 00:36:18,425
When you abandoned us for America,

483
00:36:18,509 --> 00:36:20,093
Father said he had no son.

484
00:36:20,469 --> 00:36:21,595
What?

485
00:36:24,815 --> 00:36:25,432
Time out.

486
00:36:25,474 --> 00:36:27,267
Time out, time out. Come here.

487
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:28,935
The detective's a fan.

488
00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:30,729
Why don't I play the celebrity card,

489
00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:32,439
and we'll get her out that way?

490
00:36:32,523 --> 00:36:33,607
Okay?

491
00:36:33,649 --> 00:36:34,900
Come on.

492
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:40,488
Don't worry. I'll get you out.

493
00:36:45,494 --> 00:36:47,162
Everything's gonna be okay.

494
00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:50,165
In fact, I'm gonna give you
my good-luck playing cards.

495
00:36:52,126 --> 00:36:54,252
Just ignore the naked ladies.

496
00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:55,420
Wang!

497
00:36:57,381 --> 00:36:59,007
Have you opened Father's box?

498
00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:01,593
Not yet.

499
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:11,728
She tried to assassinate Lord Rathbone

500
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,980
whilst he was taking afternoon tea.

501
00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:16,233
He's 10th in line to the throne,

502
00:37:16,317 --> 00:37:18,401
Her Majesty's favorite cousin,

503
00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:20,445
and the finest swordsman in England.

504
00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:25,659
So, of course, the press had a field day.

505
00:37:25,701 --> 00:37:28,870
The story actually knocked
Jack the Ripper off the front page.

506
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,830
Artie, Lin is not a killer.

507
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:33,041
She's just a really, really, really

508
00:37:33,125 --> 00:37:35,502
hot, confused Chinese girl.

509
00:37:36,003 --> 00:37:38,588
Maybe if I agree to
sign a few autographs

510
00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:41,800
and talk to some of my fans
here in England,

511
00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:44,594
do some type of charity event,
can we get her out that way?

512
00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:46,596
I'm afraid that's out of the question.

513
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,098
What will happen to my sister?

514
00:37:48,474 --> 00:37:50,809
She'll go to trial,
probably be locked away

515
00:37:50,851 --> 00:37:53,770
in an institution
for the criminally insane.

516
00:37:54,021 --> 00:37:56,439
The tabloids have already
dubbed her "Loony Lin".

517
00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:58,525
I thought it was rather catchy.

518
00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:02,028
At the time.

519
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:20,880
Do you have any notion

520
00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:23,216
what would happen
if we were to be seen together?

521
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:26,594
Since your return, I have yet to
lay eyes on the Imperial Seal.

522
00:38:26,846 --> 00:38:30,265
I'm hosting a Jubilee Ball
at my country estate tomorrow.

523
00:38:30,349 --> 00:38:31,725
Be at the stables at midnight.

524
00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:35,854
As requested, a token of my esteem.

525
00:38:44,238 --> 00:38:46,239
This is where you get out.

526
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,244
I hope there will be
more trust between us

527
00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:54,331
when I'm emperor
and you are the new king.

528
00:39:03,257 --> 00:39:05,884
Wow! Buckingham Palace.
Look at that, Chon.

529
00:39:05,926 --> 00:39:08,136
That's where the Queen lives.

530
00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:11,431
Hey, look at this guy.

531
00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:14,142
He's a royal guard.
He has a very important job.

532
00:39:14,226 --> 00:39:15,935
I used to be just like him.

533
00:39:15,978 --> 00:39:17,270
No, no, they're nothing like you.

534
00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:18,938
They're more of a tourist attraction.

535
00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:20,940
You can make faces at them,
insult them,

536
00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:22,275
and they can't move a muscle.

537
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,943
- Here, watch this.
- Roy...

538
00:39:23,986 --> 00:39:25,403
No, no, it's okay.

539
00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:27,781
Hey, buddy, your shoes are untied.

540
00:39:30,951 --> 00:39:34,120
That is the biggest damn beaver
I have ever seen.

541
00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:36,706
Roy, stop it.

542
00:39:36,791 --> 00:39:37,791
The Queen!

543
00:39:37,833 --> 00:39:40,168
Look, the Queen! She's mooning us!

544
00:39:41,629 --> 00:39:43,254
He almost went for that.

545
00:39:43,464 --> 00:39:45,465
My friend and I
just came over from America.

546
00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:48,635
You might have heard of it.
We run your jerkwater country.

547
00:39:48,677 --> 00:39:51,471
Come on. You're gonna
take that from a colonial?

548
00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:52,972
Roy, stop it.

549
00:39:53,015 --> 00:39:55,767
I bet you're one hell
of a damn poker player.

550
00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:57,018
No hard feelings.

551
00:40:01,982 --> 00:40:03,483
They can't do that!

552
00:40:03,526 --> 00:40:04,984
They're not allowed to do that!

553
00:40:05,027 --> 00:40:06,236
Shouldn't have touched him.

554
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,321
You scram, you little punk.

555
00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:09,989
I've got friends at Scotland Yard.

556
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:11,324
I'll give you up in a heartbeat.

557
00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:12,826
You get your watch back?

558
00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:15,328
Don't worry about my watch. Go on.

559
00:40:15,454 --> 00:40:16,663
It's a knockoff, you know.

560
00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:18,289
What are you talking about?
A knockoff?

561
00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:21,000
My uncle stole this watch
from President Lincoln.

562
00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:22,877
It's a priceless family heirloom.

563
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,004
Not according to the pawnbroker.

564
00:40:25,047 --> 00:40:26,506
You should not steal.

565
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:28,842
If I don't steal, I don't eat.

566
00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:29,968
By the way,

567
00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:32,846
who showed you how to do
all that kicking and punching?

568
00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:34,681
My father.

569
00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,599
Have you ever heard of those?
They're parents.

570
00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:37,892
We have parents that love us.

571
00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:39,727
You don't 'cause you're a little orphan.

572
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:41,187
Go on. You're making us look bad.

573
00:40:41,313 --> 00:40:43,148
You're cramping our style.

574
00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:47,861
Oh, this country blows.

575
00:40:49,071 --> 00:40:51,072
You need a place to stay?

576
00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:56,870
Come on in and warm your dogs.

577
00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,539
You can get into a lot of trouble

578
00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,541
breaking into a place like this.

579
00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:03,710
That being said, well done.

580
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,508
You just ate the last chocolate.

581
00:41:10,551 --> 00:41:11,885
Course I did.

582
00:41:11,927 --> 00:41:13,720
You gotta look out for number one, kid.

583
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:16,431
I could really get used to this,

584
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,100
living the life of a country gentleman,

585
00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:21,019
maybe doing a little painting,

586
00:41:21,061 --> 00:41:24,105
let Lin play in the garden
with the children,

587
00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:26,232
Vera, Chuck, and Dave.

588
00:41:26,692 --> 00:41:27,734
Who's Lin?

589
00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:31,571
Lin's the most beautiful woman
I've ever met.

590
00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:34,699
She's gonna be the savior
of the house of O'Bannon.

591
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,577
Hey, Chon, check out the threads.

592
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:40,747
What do you think? All I'm missing is
the loyal hound curled at my feet.

593
00:41:40,789 --> 00:41:43,041
We're wasting time.
We must find Rathbone.

594
00:41:43,083 --> 00:41:44,209
What do you think I've been doing,

595
00:41:44,251 --> 00:41:46,377
sitting here, drinking expensive hooch?

596
00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:47,545
Boy, refill.

597
00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:49,923
I've been working on a plan.

598
00:41:50,132 --> 00:41:53,218
Now...
Don't slosh the brandy.

599
00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:55,762
It messes with the bouquet.

600
00:41:55,804 --> 00:41:56,846
Sod off.

601
00:41:56,931 --> 00:41:58,640
Listen, I'm trying to teach you a skill set,

602
00:41:58,724 --> 00:42:00,433
help get you off the street.

603
00:42:00,476 --> 00:42:01,601
Bartenders make big bucks.

604
00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:02,644
Roy!

605
00:42:02,728 --> 00:42:03,978
The plan.

606
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:05,939
Thank you, Chon.

607
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,441
Now, I figure, if we find the Seal,

608
00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:11,402
we can prove Rathbone killed your dad.

609
00:42:14,615 --> 00:42:16,491
It's the old Hail Mary play.

610
00:42:16,575 --> 00:42:18,451
I also have a version
where we dig a tunnel.

611
00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:21,704
Hey!

612
00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:23,915
Bloody catapult. Jesus Christ!

613
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:25,124
You don't need a catapult.

614
00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:26,167
Who asked you?

615
00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:28,294
You don't interrupt grown-ups
when they're talking.

616
00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:31,297
Lord Nelson Rathbone
requests the pleasure of your company

617
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:32,674
at the Jubilee Ball

618
00:42:32,758 --> 00:42:36,052
in honor of Her Majesty's
50th year on the throne.

619
00:42:36,762 --> 00:42:37,804
Sounds good.

620
00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:40,223
Yeah, it doesn't address
the issue of security.

621
00:42:40,307 --> 00:42:43,184
They're not gonna let Chon and I
waltz into the castle.

622
00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:45,645
All you need is a proper disguise.

623
00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:49,899
I do like a good disguise.

624
00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,009
I look like a fool.

625
00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:17,594
What? You're a Maharaja.

626
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:19,012
That's Indian royalty.

627
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:20,138
But I'm Chinese.

628
00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:21,514
It's the same thing.

629
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:22,974
Hey.

630
00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,392
Bob your head a little bit,

631
00:43:24,476 --> 00:43:27,186
gives you more of a India-royalty flavor.

632
00:43:28,147 --> 00:43:30,273
That's good. Good show, good show.

633
00:43:30,357 --> 00:43:31,608
Good show, good show.

634
00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:33,067
Cheerio, cheerio.

635
00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:34,235
Cheerio, cheerio.

636
00:43:34,361 --> 00:43:35,778
Now what do we do
when we see Rathbone?

637
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:36,904
Kill him.

638
00:43:36,989 --> 00:43:39,032
No, okay? No!

639
00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:40,199
You're gonna be civil in there

640
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:41,784
'cause we don't have the Seal yet.

641
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:45,872
No seal, no Lin, no family honor, okay?

642
00:43:46,874 --> 00:43:49,250
Be cool. Okay, we look great.

643
00:43:49,335 --> 00:43:51,210
Let's enjoy this party.

644
00:43:54,364 --> 00:43:55,006
What are you doing?

645
00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,132
I'm going inside.

646
00:43:56,216 --> 00:43:57,467
The say the place is haunted.

647
00:43:57,551 --> 00:44:00,178
No, you're the harness man, which
means you get back at the carriage,

648
00:44:00,220 --> 00:44:02,430
and you wait there in case
we need to make a quick getaway.

649
00:44:02,514 --> 00:44:03,931
Go on, man your post.

650
00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:05,058
You don't always get what you want.

651
00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:07,560
Why are you so mean to that boy?

652
00:44:08,729 --> 00:44:10,480
I see a lot of myself in that kid.

653
00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:13,524
It's kind of freaking me out. Come on.

654
00:44:23,243 --> 00:44:24,744
Your name, please, sir.

655
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:29,999
So I can announce you.

656
00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:41,886
Sherlock Holmes.

657
00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:43,805
Sherlock Holmes.

658
00:44:45,724 --> 00:44:48,518
And which province
do you represent, Your Highness?

659
00:44:52,272 --> 00:44:54,107
Nevada.

660
00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:17,964
May I present
Major General Sherlock Holmes

661
00:45:18,006 --> 00:45:21,426
and His Highness
the Maharaja of Nevada.

662
00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:38,067
How are the security arrangements
this evening, Inspector?

663
00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:41,320
Oh, everything seems to be
going swimmingly, my lord.

664
00:45:41,363 --> 00:45:42,989
And if I may say so,

665
00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:45,199
it is an honor to guard
your lordship tonight.

666
00:45:45,284 --> 00:45:47,660
I think I speak for all of us
at Scotland Yard

667
00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:50,830
when I say that no matter
how far you are from the throne,

668
00:45:50,914 --> 00:45:53,416
you'll always be number one
in our hearts.

669
00:46:00,007 --> 00:46:01,090
Okay, here's the plan.

670
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,717
We're gonna get a little chow,

671
00:46:02,801 --> 00:46:04,677
then we're gonna sneak out of here.

672
00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:07,013
- And start looking for that seal.
- Okay.

673
00:46:07,181 --> 00:46:09,182
- Spotted dick, sir?
- What?

674
00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:10,725
Spotted dick.

675
00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:14,937
Can you believe this guy?

676
00:46:15,022 --> 00:46:17,857
I'm trying to get something to eat,
he's asking me if I got the clap.

677
00:46:17,941 --> 00:46:20,359
I think he's offering you food.

678
00:46:22,545 --> 00:46:25,490
Spotted dick.
Oh, no, I think I'll pass.

679
00:46:25,532 --> 00:46:27,033
I'm not really a dessert man.

680
00:46:27,117 --> 00:46:30,203
Perhaps my friend might like
some spotted dick.

681
00:46:32,372 --> 00:46:34,207
I might try one of
these sausages, though.

682
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,042
A little smoky joe.

683
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:41,047
Mmm, this is good!

684
00:46:41,089 --> 00:46:43,049
I thought the food here
was supposed to suck.

685
00:46:43,133 --> 00:46:45,343
The haggis is fresh from Scotland, sir.

686
00:46:45,469 --> 00:46:48,095
It's made from
the finest sheeps' bladders.

687
00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,394
I'm gonna get some whiskey
and wash my mouth out.

688
00:47:00,734 --> 00:47:02,360
You should try the quail.

689
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:06,906
I shot them myself this morning.

690
00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:09,951
How do you do, your lordship?

691
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,869
Very well, thank you.

692
00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:15,915
I'm not acquainted
with the Nevada province.

693
00:47:19,586 --> 00:47:21,963
But I haven't been to India since '81.

694
00:47:22,047 --> 00:47:24,423
I spent most of my time in the Orient.

695
00:47:24,716 --> 00:47:27,093
I hear you've just returned from China.

696
00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:29,512
You are well-informed, Maharaja.

697
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,598
It is my dream that the Chinese people

698
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:36,060
will follow India's example
and one day embrace British rule.

699
00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:37,812
The Chinese are very proud.

700
00:47:37,896 --> 00:47:40,940
They place family and honor
above all else.

701
00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:44,610
I'm sure we can break them of that.

702
00:47:49,157 --> 00:47:51,284
If you'll excuse me,
I have a matter to attend to.

703
00:47:51,910 --> 00:47:53,661
Until we meet again.

704
00:47:59,084 --> 00:48:01,919
Patience, patience,
I'm proud of you, Chon.

705
00:48:02,629 --> 00:48:04,463
We must find the Seal.

706
00:48:06,967 --> 00:48:08,134
What do you see?

707
00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:17,226
He just pulled a fancy dragon key
out of his desk.

708
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:18,769
That was my father's!

709
00:48:18,812 --> 00:48:20,479
I must avenge his honor.

710
00:48:20,522 --> 00:48:22,815
Slow down, tiger. Slow down.

711
00:48:22,858 --> 00:48:25,151
Quit going all Chinese on me.

712
00:48:26,194 --> 00:48:27,945
Chon, Chon, Chon...

713
00:48:29,156 --> 00:48:30,698
Where is he?

714
00:48:30,782 --> 00:48:32,992
Damn it, Chon,
remember your puzzle box, patience.

715
00:48:33,076 --> 00:48:34,327
Patience.

716
00:48:35,370 --> 00:48:36,871
There are no windows.

717
00:48:36,955 --> 00:48:38,664
And we just came in
through the only doorway.

718
00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:40,499
That leaves one explanation.

719
00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,209
Remember in Roy O'Bannon
vs The Mummy

720
00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:43,544
how the zombie king got away

721
00:48:43,629 --> 00:48:45,212
when I chased him into
the pharaoh's tomb?

722
00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:48,049
There's a secret passageway
behind the Sphinx.

723
00:48:48,133 --> 00:48:51,886
Now, there's gotta be
a lever or a button over here.

724
00:48:51,970 --> 00:48:53,095
Help me lift some stuff up.

725
00:48:53,180 --> 00:48:55,181
We're gonna...

726
00:49:07,527 --> 00:49:08,527
Roy!

727
00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:11,530
The painting! It's looking at me. Look!

728
00:49:11,573 --> 00:49:14,450
Yeah, yeah. Looks like it's looking
at me too. That's great. That's...

729
00:49:14,534 --> 00:49:16,702
No, real eyes... Moving!

730
00:49:16,870 --> 00:49:19,330
No, Chon, that kid got to you, didn't he?

731
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,540
Unbelievable!
We're not in a haunted house.

732
00:49:21,625 --> 00:49:23,709
That's a technique that an artist uses.

733
00:49:23,752 --> 00:49:26,796
Ubiquitous gaze or pursuant eyes
is the technical term.

734
00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:30,174
It's unnerving though, I'll give you that.

735
00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:35,346
Roy...

736
00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:37,390
Now, those eyes... Look!

737
00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:39,642
Whatever you say, Chon.

738
00:49:44,564 --> 00:49:47,191
Let's see what you got here, Rathbone.

739
00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:53,864
Roy!

740
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:59,036
What, Chon?
Are the statues moving now?

741
00:50:36,908 --> 00:50:37,950
Roy!

742
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:39,285
What?

743
00:50:39,327 --> 00:50:43,039
Damn it, I can't even hear myself think
with you shouting at me, Chon.

744
00:50:44,082 --> 00:50:45,166
Chon?

745
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:48,377
Chon?

746
00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:50,296
Chon?

747
00:50:51,798 --> 00:50:53,299
This is ridiculous.

748
00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:55,676
Chon, if you wanna
act like a child and play little games,

749
00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:57,219
then find someone else, okay?

750
00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:58,763
'Cause I take this stuff seriously.

751
00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:01,348
I'm here to work. I'm on a mission.

752
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:04,643
Chon?

753
00:51:06,313 --> 00:51:07,605
Okay, Chon.

754
00:51:07,647 --> 00:51:09,982
Okay, you little Chinese otter.

755
00:51:10,609 --> 00:51:11,984
Let's play.

756
00:51:27,533 --> 00:51:28,793
Chon, demons!

757
00:51:47,896 --> 00:51:50,564
She's gonna fight my battles for me.

758
00:51:50,649 --> 00:51:51,774
Come on.

759
00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,026
Let's go.

760
00:51:54,694 --> 00:51:56,987
What? What are you doing?

761
00:51:57,030 --> 00:51:59,031
That's kinky. I like it.

762
00:52:06,873 --> 00:52:09,250
Wow! Look at this.

763
00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:21,113
Wait, there's something
different about this room.

764
00:53:34,419 --> 00:53:35,419
Hey.

765
00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:47,806
Don't drop it!

766
00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:05,824
Let's go!

767
00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:08,744
- Wang!
- Chon, for God's sakes.

768
00:54:08,828 --> 00:54:10,621
- Lin.
- Now he shows up.

769
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:14,083
- I found it.
- Wait, Chon. Do you want to hear?

770
00:54:14,167 --> 00:54:15,751
The Seal's gone.

771
00:54:50,161 --> 00:54:51,203
Lin.

772
00:54:52,747 --> 00:54:53,831
Roy!

773
00:54:54,874 --> 00:54:56,875
Are we gonna come back?

774
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,210
Roy!

775
00:55:08,596 --> 00:55:10,764
Must you keep doing that?

776
00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:13,892
I was taught not to be seen or heard.

777
00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:16,562
The Seal.

778
00:55:16,646 --> 00:55:18,397
I am a man of my word.

779
00:55:22,402 --> 00:55:24,820
I remember watching
my brother play with this

780
00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:26,280
like a baby rattle.

781
00:55:28,241 --> 00:55:30,284
When I'd try to touch it,

782
00:55:30,368 --> 00:55:32,453
the dowager empress beat me.

783
00:55:33,913 --> 00:55:35,748
No doubt
your deprived childhood

784
00:55:35,790 --> 00:55:38,083
made you into the man you are today.

785
00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:40,377
Wu Chow.

786
00:55:40,420 --> 00:55:41,628
Wu who?

787
00:55:42,714 --> 00:55:44,506
He's the emperor's bastard brother.

788
00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:46,800
He was banished
from the Forbidden City

789
00:55:46,885 --> 00:55:48,802
for trying to steal the Imperial Seal.

790
00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:50,304
Our father caught him.

791
00:55:50,388 --> 00:55:53,098
He vowed to return to claim
the emperor's throne.

792
00:55:54,392 --> 00:55:55,642
This guy?

793
00:55:56,394 --> 00:55:58,562
I'll assume everything
has been arranged as discussed.

794
00:55:58,605 --> 00:56:01,482
You have nothing to worry about.
It's all in place.

795
00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:04,777
That diamond is as big
as a damn monkey's paw.

796
00:56:04,819 --> 00:56:05,986
Roy...

797
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,614
Don't even think about it.

798
00:56:08,656 --> 00:56:10,866
I'm just admiring
the craftsmanship, Chon.

799
00:56:10,950 --> 00:56:14,119
So for now, our business is completed.

800
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:23,253
Where's Lin?

801
00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:38,519
Hey! Hey!

802
00:56:42,996 --> 00:56:43,982
Gotcha!

803
00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:48,987
Just looking out for number one.

804
00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:50,072
No!

805
00:56:50,156 --> 00:56:51,949
The kid got the Seal!

806
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,175
Chon!

807
00:57:19,436 --> 00:57:20,811
It's stuck.

808
00:57:29,904 --> 00:57:30,946
Lin!

809
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:36,326
Hurry!

810
00:57:43,209 --> 00:57:45,502
Go! You can do it!

811
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:47,254
She's got it.

812
00:57:47,338 --> 00:57:48,630
She's got it.

813
00:57:48,715 --> 00:57:50,007
She's got it!

814
00:57:50,049 --> 00:57:51,133
Roy!

815
00:57:51,342 --> 00:57:52,551
Come on!

816
00:57:52,886 --> 00:57:55,053
Chon, what in our history together

817
00:57:55,138 --> 00:57:57,514
makes you think I'm capable
of something like that?

818
00:57:57,557 --> 00:57:59,099
- Roy!
- I can't do that!

819
00:57:59,184 --> 00:58:01,894
- Hurry up!
- Wait...

820
00:58:02,645 --> 00:58:03,937
There's a better way.

821
00:58:06,816 --> 00:58:09,234
<i>Every day
I get in the queue</i>

822
00:58:09,277 --> 00:58:11,612
<i>Too much, magic bus</i>

823
00:58:11,696 --> 00:58:14,156
<i>To get on the bus
that takes me to you</i>

824
00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:15,616
Slow down!

825
00:58:15,700 --> 00:58:17,075
I'm a bat out of hell!

826
00:58:19,078 --> 00:58:20,704
Besides, I don't know
where the brake is.

827
00:58:20,747 --> 00:58:21,747
What?

828
00:58:25,084 --> 00:58:26,126
Look out!

829
00:58:29,589 --> 00:58:32,674
<i>Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus</i>

830
00:58:32,759 --> 00:58:36,303
<i>Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus</i>

831
00:58:36,888 --> 00:58:38,263
<i>Magic bus</i>

832
00:58:41,434 --> 00:58:44,436
<i>Now I've got my magic bus</i>

833
00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:49,608
<i>Now I've got my magic bus</i>

834
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:50,776
So, what now, buddy?

835
00:58:50,860 --> 00:58:53,737
Relax, relax. Smooth sailing from here.

836
00:58:54,614 --> 00:58:56,365
<i>Too much, magic bus</i>

837
00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:05,999
Yes, these are the men
who attacked me.

838
00:59:06,709 --> 00:59:10,837
I'm afraid the assailants
have temporarily eluded us, my lord.

839
00:59:10,922 --> 00:59:15,717
Perhaps you could explain to me
how Loony Lin managed to escape

840
00:59:15,802 --> 00:59:18,470
from the confines of Scotland Yard
under the watch

841
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:22,849
of the most respected
police force in the world.

842
00:59:23,184 --> 00:59:26,144
Yes, of course,
it's absolutely fascinating.

843
00:59:26,829 --> 00:59:28,355
She picked the lock

844
00:59:28,439 --> 00:59:31,817
using a deck of rather
risqué playing cards.

845
00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:36,363
Then scaled the walls
with a mop, a fork,

846
00:59:36,447 --> 00:59:38,699
and various pilfered undergarments.

847
00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:40,409
You've gotta hand it to the Chinese,

848
00:59:40,493 --> 00:59:43,120
they are an awfully ingenious lot,
aren't they?

849
00:59:44,372 --> 00:59:46,832
Does your incompetence
know no bounds?

850
00:59:59,679 --> 01:00:03,307
<i>It's the time
of the season</i>

851
01:00:04,851 --> 01:00:07,477
<i>When the love runs high</i>

852
01:00:07,895 --> 01:00:11,523
<i>In this time,
give it to me easy</i>

853
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:16,153
<i>And let me try
with pleasured hands</i>

854
01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:17,863
Where am I?

855
01:00:19,324 --> 01:00:20,407
Lin!

856
01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:23,410
I don't even know these women.

857
01:00:24,037 --> 01:00:26,997
<i>It's the time of the season</i>

858
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,999
Lin, what are you doing here?

859
01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:30,834
<i>For loving</i>

860
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:32,169
Oh, Lord.

861
01:00:32,712 --> 01:00:35,505
You want to try
the position on page 37?

862
01:00:40,803 --> 01:00:42,846
Come here, you little minx.

863
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:46,725
What?

864
01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:52,773
<i>It's the time of the season</i>

865
01:00:52,857 --> 01:00:53,899
<i>For loving</i>

866
01:00:59,405 --> 01:01:01,156
- You okay?
- No, I'm not okay.

867
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:03,700
I've just been violated
by a barnyard animal.

868
01:01:08,373 --> 01:01:11,792
Who would leave a pile of stones
in the middle of the field?

869
01:01:11,876 --> 01:01:14,586
I don't know, Chon.
These people are nuts.

870
01:01:16,297 --> 01:01:17,547
Come on.

871
01:01:21,636 --> 01:01:23,970
- Can I tell you something?
- What?

872
01:01:25,264 --> 01:01:27,599
This is a hell
of a damn adventure we're on,

873
01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:29,726
and I'm having
an absolute ball with you.

874
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,689
Me too.

875
01:01:38,444 --> 01:01:40,612
Here we go, here we go.

876
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:42,531
Get your thumb out, Maharaja.

877
01:01:42,615 --> 01:01:44,116
Get over here.

878
01:01:44,826 --> 01:01:46,159
Excuse me!

879
01:01:48,454 --> 01:01:49,705
- Lin!
- Lin!

880
01:01:57,797 --> 01:02:00,000
My shoulder's getting a little tight.

881
01:02:01,592 --> 01:02:04,511
This is your first time
in England, isn't it?

882
01:02:05,138 --> 01:02:08,432
How do you know your way around?
It's incredible.

883
01:02:08,474 --> 01:02:10,475
I always had a good sense of direction.

884
01:02:10,518 --> 01:02:12,477
Oh, you can say that again.

885
01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:15,689
I wish we could say the same
about you-know-who.

886
01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:17,566
I once sent him over a mountain range.

887
01:02:17,650 --> 01:02:18,942
He was lost forever.

888
01:02:20,278 --> 01:02:23,155
One time, I sent him
over the Great Wall.

889
01:02:23,197 --> 01:02:24,656
He was lost for three days.

890
01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:25,891
Three days?

891
01:02:28,661 --> 01:02:30,954
Oh, gosh, we got a lot in common.

892
01:02:31,330 --> 01:02:33,498
I've never met anybody like you, Roy.

893
01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:34,666
Really?

894
01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:35,834
Yeah.

895
01:02:36,419 --> 01:02:40,172
Hey, can I tell you something
without you getting offended?

896
01:02:40,256 --> 01:02:41,339
What?

897
01:02:41,674 --> 01:02:44,384
You have a great body.

898
01:02:45,511 --> 01:02:47,429
There! I said it! It's out in the open.

899
01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:51,391
You must work out.

900
01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:52,726
Me?

901
01:02:52,810 --> 01:02:54,144
Excuse me.

902
01:02:55,021 --> 01:02:56,021
I...

903
01:02:56,105 --> 01:02:58,106
Chon, what are you doing?

904
01:02:58,524 --> 01:02:59,691
I don't like the backseat.

905
01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:01,026
What?

906
01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:04,029
Makes me sick... Dizzy.

907
01:03:10,828 --> 01:03:12,329
Whitechapel...

908
01:03:13,372 --> 01:03:15,624
This looks like
a nice enough neighborhood.

909
01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:20,378
What is Puss 'n' Boots?

910
01:03:20,421 --> 01:03:21,713
It's a boardinghouse.

911
01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:24,716
Some of the sailors on the ship
coming over recommended it.

912
01:03:29,222 --> 01:03:31,056
Come on. Come on!

913
01:03:40,107 --> 01:03:41,733
I won't let my sister stay here.

914
01:03:41,776 --> 01:03:43,902
What are we supposed to do?
Check in to The Savoy?

915
01:03:43,945 --> 01:03:45,737
We'll get arrested
before we get to our room.

916
01:03:45,822 --> 01:03:47,781
I don't mind this place.

917
01:03:51,744 --> 01:03:54,037
See? A little open-minded.

918
01:03:56,165 --> 01:03:58,875
I know it sounds crazy
'cause I just met her,

919
01:03:58,918 --> 01:04:00,752
but I think I'm falling for her.

920
01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:02,087
I think she's the one.

921
01:04:02,213 --> 01:04:03,964
Roy, she's my baby sister.

922
01:04:04,048 --> 01:04:07,425
I know she is. Thank God!
That's the only chance I've got.

923
01:04:07,468 --> 01:04:09,469
Look, I'm getting ready
to launch a little thing

924
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,304
called, Operation
Sweep Her Off Her Feet.

925
01:04:11,597 --> 01:04:13,598
You're in a position to talk me up.

926
01:04:13,641 --> 01:04:14,891
Can I count on you?

927
01:04:14,934 --> 01:04:17,102
Please, buddy,
I've never asked you for anything.

928
01:04:17,186 --> 01:04:19,437
Sure, Roy, I'll tell her the truth.

929
01:04:19,522 --> 01:04:20,772
Don't get hung up on the truth.

930
01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:23,441
Feel free to smooth out
your old pal's rough edges.

931
01:04:25,903 --> 01:04:27,279
I love you, buddy.

932
01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,702
Lin, come.

933
01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:40,500
Sit.

934
01:05:05,985 --> 01:05:07,402
Hello, love.

935
01:05:07,486 --> 01:05:08,653
Fancy a tumble?

936
01:05:10,615 --> 01:05:14,075
Where were you two days ago?
I would have bedded you in a second.

937
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:16,453
Now you're looking at a changed man.

938
01:05:16,495 --> 01:05:18,955
I'm sort of saving myself
for someone special.

939
01:05:18,998 --> 01:05:20,916
I'll give you a discount.

940
01:05:22,001 --> 01:05:24,961
That's the most romantic thing
any woman's ever said to me.

941
01:05:27,397 --> 01:05:28,465
You better go.

942
01:05:28,799 --> 01:05:30,842
You better go
before we lose control. Go!

943
01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:33,178
If you change your mind...

944
01:05:33,220 --> 01:05:34,304
Roy!

945
01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:42,729
Lin...

946
01:05:43,064 --> 01:05:46,066
Our father would talk about
the right man for you.

947
01:05:46,150 --> 01:05:47,400
He must be strong...

948
01:05:47,610 --> 01:05:48,860
All right.

949
01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:51,363
...courageous, and a good father.

950
01:05:51,822 --> 01:05:52,989
Like Roy.

951
01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:54,157
We got her, Chon.

952
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:55,700
Not like Roy.

953
01:05:56,452 --> 01:05:57,869
You don't know him like I do.

954
01:05:58,245 --> 01:06:00,163
He has many bad habits.

955
01:06:00,873 --> 01:06:02,123
Such as?

956
01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:05,919
He drinks, smokes and he gambles.

957
01:06:06,003 --> 01:06:07,587
Chon, where are you going with this?

958
01:06:07,713 --> 01:06:09,547
He sleeps with women for money.

959
01:06:09,632 --> 01:06:10,882
What are you...

960
01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:13,385
Roy don't do that. I can see inside him.

961
01:06:14,929 --> 01:06:16,388
He has a good heart.

962
01:06:16,430 --> 01:06:17,597
That's right.

963
01:06:17,682 --> 01:06:20,183
His salmon don't swim upstream.

964
01:06:21,310 --> 01:06:22,394
He shoots blanks.

965
01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:26,231
Lin, he cannot be trusted.

966
01:06:26,273 --> 01:06:28,191
How could you say that?

967
01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:29,776
You're his friend.

968
01:06:29,860 --> 01:06:31,987
Yeah, sort of.

969
01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:34,239
Roy is the type of a friend

970
01:06:34,281 --> 01:06:36,199
you never introduce
to your other friends

971
01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:37,951
or bring home to your family.

972
01:06:38,035 --> 01:06:39,494
He never speak the truth.

973
01:06:39,578 --> 01:06:40,829
You know what I call him?

974
01:06:40,913 --> 01:06:43,748
Not Roy O'Bannon, Roy O'Baloney.

975
01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:46,876
I don't care.

976
01:06:47,128 --> 01:06:49,212
Lin, I forbid it.

977
01:06:50,589 --> 01:06:52,465
You are not my father.

978
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,436
Roy, there you are.

979
01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:06,771
Hi.

980
01:07:09,233 --> 01:07:11,526
You need anything, buddy?

981
01:07:11,610 --> 01:07:13,820
A whole lot of leave-me-alone.

982
01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:18,033
What's wrong?

983
01:07:20,494 --> 01:07:23,455
Nothing. I guess I just woke up
on wrong side of the bed.

984
01:07:23,497 --> 01:07:26,541
I feel a little pain in my back
like someone put a knife there.

985
01:07:26,625 --> 01:07:27,876
I'm okay.

986
01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:30,211
Don't worry about me.

987
01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:34,340
<i>Yes, it's the
saddest experience</i>

988
01:07:34,508 --> 01:07:36,760
<i>You'll ever know</i>

989
01:07:37,636 --> 01:07:39,471
<i>Because one is
the loneliest number</i>

990
01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:40,638
Roy!

991
01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:49,647
That actually reminds me of a trick.

992
01:07:49,690 --> 01:07:51,349
You ever seen this one?

993
01:07:51,734 --> 01:07:52,742
Or this one?

994
01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:55,320
You think you're so cool

995
01:07:55,362 --> 01:07:59,074
with your karate
and your childlike reflexes.

996
01:08:01,744 --> 01:08:03,244
Roy, you okay?

997
01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:06,081
Look at you.

998
01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:08,958
Do you really call me "Roy Baloney"?

999
01:08:12,505 --> 01:08:13,838
Roy, you don't understand.

1000
01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:16,174
You just smashed my puzzle box.

1001
01:08:17,968 --> 01:08:19,969
I'll never figure out my message.

1002
01:08:20,012 --> 01:08:21,513
- Roy...
- Go.

1003
01:08:23,766 --> 01:08:25,433
You're dead to me.

1004
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,936
I don't know a Chon Wang.

1005
01:08:42,034 --> 01:08:43,076
What...

1006
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:44,911
Hi, Roy.

1007
01:08:46,455 --> 01:08:48,206
Who loves you, baby?

1008
01:08:48,290 --> 01:08:49,332
Nice try, Chon.

1009
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:50,542
Roy...

1010
01:08:51,043 --> 01:08:52,377
I'm sorry.

1011
01:08:58,092 --> 01:09:00,802
You do that again
and you're a dead man.

1012
01:09:11,564 --> 01:09:12,772
Pillow fight!

1013
01:09:12,857 --> 01:09:15,233
<i>Every evening,
when all my day's work is through</i>

1014
01:09:15,317 --> 01:09:17,569
<i>I call my baby and ask her,
what shall we do?</i>

1015
01:09:17,653 --> 01:09:20,405
<i>I mention movies,
and she don't seem to dig that</i>

1016
01:09:20,447 --> 01:09:22,740
<i>And then she asks me,
why don't I come to the flat</i>

1017
01:09:22,825 --> 01:09:25,076
<i>And have some supper
and have the evening pass by</i>

1018
01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:28,204
<i>By playing records
beside the groovy Hi-Fi?</i>

1019
01:09:28,247 --> 01:09:29,747
<i>I said yeh, yeh</i>

1020
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:31,040
<i>That's what I say</i>

1021
01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:32,083
<i>I said yeh, yeh</i>

1022
01:09:33,127 --> 01:09:35,795
<i>My baby loves me,
she gets me feeling so fine</i>

1023
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:38,464
<i>When she loves me,
she makes me know that she's mine</i>

1024
01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:40,216
<i>I said yeh, yeh</i>

1025
01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:41,885
I am Roy Baloney!

1026
01:09:41,927 --> 01:09:43,094
Yes!

1027
01:09:43,137 --> 01:09:45,138
- I'm full of it!
- You are!

1028
01:09:45,431 --> 01:09:48,266
<i>We'll play a melody and
turn the lights down low</i>

1029
01:09:48,350 --> 01:09:49,559
<i>So that none can see</i>

1030
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,978
<i>We gotta do that,
we gotta do that</i>

1031
01:09:52,062 --> 01:09:54,939
<i>We gotta do that,
we gotta do that</i>

1032
01:09:54,982 --> 01:09:58,526
<i>And there'll be no one else
alive in all the world</i>

1033
01:09:58,611 --> 01:09:59,819
<i>'Cept you and me</i>

1034
01:10:04,325 --> 01:10:06,784
<i>My pretty baby,
I never knew such a thrill</i>

1035
01:10:06,827 --> 01:10:09,537
<i>It's hard to tell you,
because I'm tremblin' still</i>

1036
01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:12,790
<i>My pretty baby,
I want you all for my own</i>

1037
01:10:13,125 --> 01:10:14,459
Roy?

1038
01:10:20,925 --> 01:10:22,008
Lin!

1039
01:10:26,096 --> 01:10:27,680
It was his idea.

1040
01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:30,558
- Chon!
- Clothes!

1041
01:11:03,259 --> 01:11:05,009
Nice night for a walk.

1042
01:11:13,727 --> 01:11:14,811
Lin!

1043
01:11:14,853 --> 01:11:16,229
- Lin!
- There you are!

1044
01:11:16,313 --> 01:11:17,647
What are you doing?

1045
01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:20,024
Don't you know
there's a serial killer on the loose?

1046
01:11:20,651 --> 01:11:22,026
Forget it.

1047
01:11:29,868 --> 01:11:31,369
Who the hell are these guys?

1048
01:11:31,620 --> 01:11:32,662
Boxers.

1049
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,163
What do they want with us?

1050
01:11:34,206 --> 01:11:35,707
They're with me.

1051
01:11:39,044 --> 01:11:41,671
I think we need to have a little chat.

1052
01:11:51,765 --> 01:11:53,182
Chon Wang,

1053
01:11:54,101 --> 01:11:56,853
the man who defied an emperor.

1054
01:11:56,979 --> 01:11:59,564
The emperor should
never have spared your life.

1055
01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:01,316
I see.

1056
01:12:01,900 --> 01:12:03,776
You're still my brother's lapdog.

1057
01:12:03,861 --> 01:12:05,653
I'm here not for him.

1058
01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:08,489
I'm here for my father.

1059
01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:10,325
Of course you are.

1060
01:12:13,704 --> 01:12:17,081
It was my dagger
that plunged into his heart.

1061
01:12:17,458 --> 01:12:19,542
It's still crusted with his blood.

1062
01:12:24,089 --> 01:12:26,257
I know the boy has the Seal.

1063
01:12:26,550 --> 01:12:27,759
Where is he?

1064
01:12:27,801 --> 01:12:29,093
We don't know.

1065
01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:30,928
That's the truth. We don't know.

1066
01:12:33,849 --> 01:12:36,267
What are you... What are you doing?

1067
01:12:40,689 --> 01:12:42,774
Stop! Put her down!

1068
01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:44,359
Put her down! Put her down!

1069
01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:46,194
Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?

1070
01:12:46,278 --> 01:12:48,279
Are you gonna kick my ass?

1071
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:52,033
I've read all about
your ridiculous exploits.

1072
01:12:52,117 --> 01:12:53,451
I mean, just...

1073
01:12:53,702 --> 01:12:57,663
How does it feel to kill
a mummy with your bare hands?

1074
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:00,166
Only a nation of uneducated rednecks

1075
01:13:00,250 --> 01:13:02,794
would be amused
by such cowboy drivel.

1076
01:13:03,836 --> 01:13:04,796
Easy.

1077
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,298
What's with the personal attacks?

1078
01:13:07,466 --> 01:13:09,050
You don't see me
making any comments

1079
01:13:09,134 --> 01:13:11,135
about your pasty complexion

1080
01:13:11,178 --> 01:13:12,887
or your snotty accent,

1081
01:13:12,971 --> 01:13:15,681
or even your filthy, smutty sex books.

1082
01:13:15,766 --> 01:13:17,683
Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me.

1083
01:13:20,145 --> 01:13:22,772
Oh, why is it always the head
with you people?

1084
01:13:24,608 --> 01:13:25,942
Hold it!

1085
01:13:25,984 --> 01:13:28,361
Stop! Hold it! Just hold it!

1086
01:13:28,445 --> 01:13:31,072
What are we doing here?
Guys, look at this.

1087
01:13:31,156 --> 01:13:33,783
We're acting like animals over what?

1088
01:13:34,076 --> 01:13:35,410
Some seal?

1089
01:13:35,661 --> 01:13:37,954
The Seal represents imperial power.

1090
01:13:38,747 --> 01:13:41,374
I will use it to unite
the emperor's enemies

1091
01:13:41,458 --> 01:13:44,460
and storm the Forbidden City.

1092
01:13:44,503 --> 01:13:45,920
What's in it for you?

1093
01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:48,214
You're looking
at the future king of England.

1094
01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:50,174
You're like the 20th in line to the throne.

1095
01:13:50,217 --> 01:13:51,592
10th.

1096
01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:57,014
But my friend is about to change all that
by a simple process of elimination.

1097
01:14:01,562 --> 01:14:03,521
It's called a machine gun.

1098
01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:06,774
The first of its kind.
It fires 200 rounds a minute.

1099
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:09,193
Testament to British ingenuity.

1100
01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:14,157
Oh, so you steal the Seal,
and then you knock off nine royals?

1101
01:14:15,993 --> 01:14:18,619
You got the short end
of that stick, my friend.

1102
01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:24,208
Dump them in the river.

1103
01:14:26,211 --> 01:14:27,420
Where are you taking her?

1104
01:14:27,504 --> 01:14:29,338
To make history.

1105
01:14:29,381 --> 01:14:31,591
I can already see the headlines...

1106
01:14:31,675 --> 01:14:35,887
Nation mourns as Loony Lin
massacres Royal Family.

1107
01:14:50,068 --> 01:14:54,197
I need your assurance
that you will find the Seal.

1108
01:14:54,239 --> 01:14:55,907
Don't concern yourself.

1109
01:14:55,949 --> 01:14:57,992
My men are scouring the city.

1110
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,411
You better pray they find it,

1111
01:15:01,413 --> 01:15:07,043
or our agreement is over,
and you will never get the crown.

1112
01:15:14,384 --> 01:15:16,761
Chon, I got a confession to make.

1113
01:15:17,429 --> 01:15:19,388
You're in love with my sister.

1114
01:15:19,431 --> 01:15:21,098
That, but...

1115
01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:24,227
I didn't lose all the money
on the zeppelins.

1116
01:15:24,269 --> 01:15:25,311
No?

1117
01:15:25,854 --> 01:15:29,607
No, I blew most of it
on the Roy O'Bannon novels.

1118
01:15:30,108 --> 01:15:31,609
I wrote them.

1119
01:15:31,652 --> 01:15:33,361
No, Sage McCallister wrote them.

1120
01:15:33,445 --> 01:15:34,779
That's what I'm saying, buddy.

1121
01:15:34,863 --> 01:15:36,489
I'm Sage McCallister.

1122
01:15:41,578 --> 01:15:43,120
You wrote those lies?

1123
01:15:43,163 --> 01:15:44,956
I've always had low self-esteem.

1124
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,499
How many books did you print?

1125
01:15:46,583 --> 01:15:48,751
I self-published
probably a million copies.

1126
01:15:49,878 --> 01:15:51,712
We were actually second
to the Bible that year.

1127
01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:52,797
Oh, you...

1128
01:15:52,881 --> 01:15:56,801
I guess I'm just about the worst friend
a guy could ask for.

1129
01:15:58,470 --> 01:16:01,305
No, you're a good friend.

1130
01:16:01,932 --> 01:16:02,974
Thank you.

1131
01:16:03,016 --> 01:16:06,185
If you really love Lin,
I won't stand in the way.

1132
01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,562
Really?

1133
01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:09,855
But if you break her heart,

1134
01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:11,941
I'll break your legs.

1135
01:16:11,984 --> 01:16:13,401
That's fair.

1136
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:17,572
Well, friends to the end, Chon.

1137
01:16:17,948 --> 01:16:19,657
And this is the end.

1138
01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:25,746
Chon, you got a plan?

1139
01:16:25,831 --> 01:16:27,331
You wouldn't happen to
have a plan, would you?

1140
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:28,416
Yes.

1141
01:16:28,500 --> 01:16:30,293
- Anything I can do?
- No.

1142
01:16:30,460 --> 01:16:33,212
Good. I'll let you do
the heavy lifting, then.

1143
01:16:48,186 --> 01:16:49,186
Chon, hurry!

1144
01:16:55,569 --> 01:16:56,569
Chon!

1145
01:16:56,653 --> 01:16:57,695
Chon! Chon, hurry!

1146
01:16:57,779 --> 01:16:58,904
Hurry!

1147
01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:00,698
Hurry! Chon, hurry!

1148
01:17:00,782 --> 01:17:01,866
Roy!

1149
01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:06,871
Coming!

1150
01:17:08,832 --> 01:17:09,832
Chon!

1151
01:17:13,545 --> 01:17:15,046
The water's so dirty!

1152
01:17:15,130 --> 01:17:17,214
No! No! It's dirty! No!

1153
01:17:45,202 --> 01:17:48,412
Just go ahead and drown me.
I don't care anymore.

1154
01:17:52,125 --> 01:17:53,209
Roy!

1155
01:18:52,477 --> 01:18:54,228
You look ridiculous.

1156
01:18:56,106 --> 01:18:57,606
I think we look good.

1157
01:18:59,985 --> 01:19:03,028
I really must protest this intrusion.

1158
01:19:03,113 --> 01:19:07,158
Every bobby in London
is out scouring the streets for you two.

1159
01:19:07,242 --> 01:19:08,659
Have you been drinking?

1160
01:19:08,869 --> 01:19:12,121
I always drink when
my employment's been terminated.

1161
01:19:12,164 --> 01:19:13,247
They fired you?

1162
01:19:13,331 --> 01:19:15,249
Your Lord Rathbone saw to that.

1163
01:19:15,333 --> 01:19:16,375
I'm sorry.

1164
01:19:17,252 --> 01:19:19,295
It's of no consequence.

1165
01:19:19,337 --> 01:19:22,298
I never wanted to be
an inspector in the first place.

1166
01:19:22,340 --> 01:19:24,341
It was my father's idea.

1167
01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:27,136
I always wanted to be a writer.

1168
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:29,305
Yeah.

1169
01:19:29,347 --> 01:19:31,098
Artie, we need your help.

1170
01:19:31,183 --> 01:19:32,725
Rathbone has taken Lin.

1171
01:19:32,809 --> 01:19:35,811
He's gonna kill the Royal Family
and he's gonna assume the throne.

1172
01:19:35,854 --> 01:19:41,400
Do you have any evidence to support
these preposterous allegations?

1173
01:19:41,526 --> 01:19:43,903
We have this. It's the boy's.

1174
01:19:44,529 --> 01:19:46,906
Use your technique.
Tell us where he is.

1175
01:19:48,909 --> 01:19:51,368
Paraffin wax... Most interesting.

1176
01:19:52,120 --> 01:19:54,872
He's at a church.
The little punk's hiding in a church.

1177
01:19:54,915 --> 01:19:56,290
No, no, no.

1178
01:19:56,374 --> 01:19:58,125
It's not candle wax.

1179
01:19:58,418 --> 01:19:59,668
I have it.

1180
01:20:03,381 --> 01:20:05,090
- Don't worry. You'll get it.
- What are you doing?

1181
01:20:05,175 --> 01:20:06,383
He's picking the lock.

1182
01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:08,344
- Hurry up!
- Chon, please!

1183
01:20:08,386 --> 01:20:10,554
It's a very meticulous process.

1184
01:20:10,597 --> 01:20:14,058
Let Artie do his job.
It's almost an art form.

1185
01:20:14,100 --> 01:20:15,601
It takes the precision of a surgeon.

1186
01:20:16,561 --> 01:20:18,437
You have to be so precise.

1187
01:20:18,522 --> 01:20:21,190
Maybe if we jam another one in there.

1188
01:20:25,529 --> 01:20:26,987
That works too.

1189
01:20:27,322 --> 01:20:29,281
Lacks a certain finesse.

1190
01:20:33,036 --> 01:20:35,621
All right, all right. Let's split up.

1191
01:21:41,646 --> 01:21:42,980
What the...

1192
01:21:47,152 --> 01:21:49,820
I am gonna break your neck.
Come here.

1193
01:22:30,904 --> 01:22:31,946
Looky, here.

1194
01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:34,114
- Come on, where is it?
- What?

1195
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:35,783
You know what I'm talking about.

1196
01:22:35,867 --> 01:22:37,242
Don't give me that "what".

1197
01:22:37,327 --> 01:22:39,161
What do we got here?

1198
01:22:39,204 --> 01:22:40,621
Oh, yes.

1199
01:22:42,248 --> 01:22:44,458
You don't mind
if I take this back, do you?

1200
01:22:44,584 --> 01:22:46,043
Go on, get out of here.

1201
01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:47,086
Go!

1202
01:22:47,170 --> 01:22:48,212
Roy?

1203
01:22:48,254 --> 01:22:49,338
I got it.

1204
01:22:52,467 --> 01:22:53,968
Give me the Seal.

1205
01:22:55,053 --> 01:22:57,054
Give me the Seal!

1206
01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:12,194
All right, spread out!

1207
01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:13,737
Through there!

1208
01:23:14,614 --> 01:23:15,906
Let's go.

1209
01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:27,084
The gig's up.

1210
01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:38,512
So what are we gonna do?

1211
01:23:41,433 --> 01:23:42,850
Come on, think!

1212
01:23:42,934 --> 01:23:44,977
I'm not going to an English prison.

1213
01:23:45,061 --> 01:23:48,355
With my feathery blond hair
and Chon's athletic build,

1214
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:49,982
they'll try to make us
the belle of the ball.

1215
01:23:50,066 --> 01:23:51,984
Forget it. I'm not going back.

1216
01:23:53,069 --> 01:23:54,111
Well...

1217
01:23:54,154 --> 01:23:56,447
At least we'll get
a good view of the fireworks

1218
01:23:56,531 --> 01:23:57,865
from Scotland Yard.

1219
01:23:58,241 --> 01:23:59,283
Fireworks?

1220
01:23:59,367 --> 01:24:00,367
Yeah.

1221
01:24:00,452 --> 01:24:02,411
At midnight,
they're launching this huge display

1222
01:24:02,454 --> 01:24:04,288
from a flotilla of barges on the Thames.

1223
01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:06,790
It's the official kickoff
to the Queen's jubilee.

1224
01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:09,293
Is the Royal Family gonna be there?

1225
01:24:10,211 --> 01:24:12,671
They're gonna be viewing
the spectacle from a balcony

1226
01:24:12,756 --> 01:24:14,465
overlooking the river.

1227
01:24:14,549 --> 01:24:16,425
He's got a machine gun on the barge.

1228
01:24:18,178 --> 01:24:19,219
Yes.

1229
01:24:28,813 --> 01:24:30,272
You gents lost your way?

1230
01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:31,857
Kid, tell me you got a way out.

1231
01:24:45,705 --> 01:24:46,997
Nice move, kid.

1232
01:24:47,248 --> 01:24:48,582
So why did you come back?

1233
01:24:49,417 --> 01:24:51,210
Why did you give up the Seal?

1234
01:24:53,963 --> 01:24:55,631
'Cause I'm a fool.

1235
01:24:57,258 --> 01:24:58,926
Guess I'm a fool too.

1236
01:24:59,552 --> 01:25:01,178
Put her there, fool.

1237
01:25:02,305 --> 01:25:03,514
I never got your name.

1238
01:25:03,598 --> 01:25:05,224
Name's Chaplin.

1239
01:25:05,809 --> 01:25:08,102
Charlie Chaplin.

1240
01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:09,830
Excuse me.

1241
01:26:09,914 --> 01:26:11,081
Excuse me, please!

1242
01:26:11,166 --> 01:26:12,499
Excuse me.

1243
01:26:21,217 --> 01:26:22,801
You warn the Royal Family.

1244
01:26:22,886 --> 01:26:24,178
I'll save Lin.

1245
01:26:24,262 --> 01:26:26,263
How on Earth are you gonna do that?

1246
01:27:53,351 --> 01:27:54,643
You okay?

1247
01:28:00,692 --> 01:28:01,984
I just saved you!

1248
01:28:02,026 --> 01:28:03,193
You were late!

1249
01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:04,444
What?

1250
01:28:09,033 --> 01:28:10,117
Nelson?

1251
01:28:23,172 --> 01:28:24,881
Why are you hiding yourself
back there?

1252
01:28:24,924 --> 01:28:27,217
I shouldn't like to impede your view,
Your Highness.

1253
01:28:27,260 --> 01:28:29,303
Nonsense! You arranged all this.

1254
01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:31,138
You should have a front-row view.

1255
01:28:31,222 --> 01:28:34,391
I regret that respectfully I must decline.

1256
01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,477
I need to keep a good eye
on proceedings.

1257
01:28:42,358 --> 01:28:44,484
Nelson, you've outdone yourself.

1258
01:28:44,694 --> 01:28:47,070
Wait till you see the finale.

1259
01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:52,868
Hey!

1260
01:28:55,621 --> 01:28:56,705
Hey!

1261
01:30:08,569 --> 01:30:09,945
This is hopeless.

1262
01:30:09,987 --> 01:30:11,822
We're not gonna get past the guards.

1263
01:30:11,864 --> 01:30:13,490
Not with that attitude, we won't.

1264
01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:15,992
Come on, Artie, there's gotta be a way.
There's always...

1265
01:30:30,883 --> 01:30:31,967
Lin!

1266
01:31:09,547 --> 01:31:10,547
Yeah!

1267
01:31:15,720 --> 01:31:17,387
We got to jump it!

1268
01:32:08,648 --> 01:32:10,106
Wu Chow!

1269
01:32:27,458 --> 01:32:29,209
Hold it right there, Rathboner.

1270
01:32:32,088 --> 01:32:33,463
I'm guessing by your hasty retreat

1271
01:32:33,506 --> 01:32:36,007
that you're still 20th in line
for the throne.

1272
01:32:36,092 --> 01:32:37,175
10th.

1273
01:32:37,385 --> 01:32:39,803
Inspector Doyle, arrest this man.

1274
01:32:43,266 --> 01:32:44,307
He's got a gun!

1275
01:32:47,728 --> 01:32:48,979
Come on!

1276
01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:51,731
You okay?

1277
01:32:51,816 --> 01:32:53,233
What happened?

1278
01:32:53,317 --> 01:32:55,986
Rathbone nailed Artie
with a little sissy gun.

1279
01:32:56,070 --> 01:32:57,904
I'll look after him. You two go.

1280
01:32:57,989 --> 01:32:58,989
Go!

1281
01:33:07,164 --> 01:33:08,540
For Father.

1282
01:33:09,250 --> 01:33:10,625
For Father.

1283
01:33:11,210 --> 01:33:12,836
For old man Wang.

1284
01:33:17,508 --> 01:33:19,926
My lucky playing cards.

1285
01:33:28,769 --> 01:33:30,145
Be careful.

1286
01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:33,398
Tell Rathbone to be careful.

1287
01:33:33,482 --> 01:33:34,983
Roy, let's go.

1288
01:33:42,325 --> 01:33:44,367
You're gonna need a bigger gun!

1289
01:34:02,261 --> 01:34:03,511
You see him?

1290
01:34:03,554 --> 01:34:04,596
No.

1291
01:34:05,222 --> 01:34:07,223
Show your face, Rathbone!

1292
01:34:07,350 --> 01:34:09,017
I'm gonna tear this guy apart.

1293
01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:10,894
Roy, you go this way, I'll go that way.

1294
01:34:10,936 --> 01:34:13,855
Split up? I don't know
if that's a good idea.

1295
01:34:13,898 --> 01:34:15,231
It's okay.

1296
01:34:24,325 --> 01:34:25,950
He's not up here.

1297
01:34:27,912 --> 01:34:29,537
Roy, keep going.

1298
01:34:33,209 --> 01:34:34,834
Come on, Roy.

1299
01:34:48,224 --> 01:34:49,974
Hey, Rathbone,

1300
01:34:50,601 --> 01:34:53,687
was just thinking
of a title for my new book,

1301
01:34:53,979 --> 01:34:57,357
Roy O'Bannon vs Little Lord Sissy.

1302
01:34:57,942 --> 01:35:01,194
Or what about Roy O'Bannon
vs The Man Who Would Be Queen?

1303
01:35:04,699 --> 01:35:06,116
No sign of him, Chon.

1304
01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:07,826
The coast is clear up here.

1305
01:35:13,791 --> 01:35:15,291
Roy! Look out!

1306
01:35:17,962 --> 01:35:19,045
Roy!

1307
01:35:24,468 --> 01:35:26,136
Come on up.

1308
01:35:26,178 --> 01:35:27,971
I'll show you how your father died.

1309
01:36:08,220 --> 01:36:09,721
Lord, help me.

1310
01:36:10,473 --> 01:36:12,974
Just let me know you're there.
Love me. Hate me.

1311
01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:15,185
But let me know you're up there!

1312
01:36:15,269 --> 01:36:17,520
I can see our hotel from here.

1313
01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:33,119
Come along.

1314
01:36:33,537 --> 01:36:34,954
I'm waiting.

1315
01:36:36,248 --> 01:36:38,541
Come on, Roy. Okay.

1316
01:36:38,584 --> 01:36:40,752
Roy O'Bannon will not go quietly.

1317
01:36:40,836 --> 01:36:42,170
You hear that, England?

1318
01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:44,047
Throw whatever you want at me,

1319
01:36:44,131 --> 01:36:47,050
your terrible weather,
your perverted killers,

1320
01:36:47,092 --> 01:36:48,885
your spotted dick!

1321
01:37:25,923 --> 01:37:27,590
Roy, you're about to die.

1322
01:37:27,675 --> 01:37:29,926
You're on the minute hand of a clock.

1323
01:37:29,969 --> 01:37:33,012
My life is flashing before my eyes.

1324
01:37:33,806 --> 01:37:36,432
Wait a minute. I don't remember her.

1325
01:37:52,074 --> 01:37:53,283
One more.

1326
01:38:08,674 --> 01:38:09,716
One more.

1327
01:38:38,871 --> 01:38:40,538
How disappointing.

1328
01:38:43,542 --> 01:38:44,834
One more.

1329
01:38:57,348 --> 01:38:59,140
You killed my friend.

1330
01:39:05,314 --> 01:39:06,898
You killed my father!

1331
01:39:26,877 --> 01:39:28,962
Roy!

1332
01:39:29,046 --> 01:39:30,630
I thought you were dead!

1333
01:39:31,215 --> 01:39:35,885
You think some tea-drinking psycho
can take out Roy O'Bannon?

1334
01:39:48,565 --> 01:39:50,316
Easy there, cowboy.

1335
01:40:13,257 --> 01:40:14,424
You got any ideas?

1336
01:40:19,471 --> 01:40:21,556
- We jump!
- Jump?

1337
01:40:23,267 --> 01:40:24,559
You mean fall?

1338
01:40:25,144 --> 01:40:26,394
Aim for the flag!

1339
01:40:26,437 --> 01:40:27,812
Ah, shit.

1340
01:40:29,440 --> 01:40:31,024
I gotta tell you something.

1341
01:40:31,108 --> 01:40:32,400
What?

1342
01:40:32,443 --> 01:40:35,111
You're the best sidekick
I could ever ask for.

1343
01:40:35,154 --> 01:40:36,612
Thank you, Roy.

1344
01:40:36,655 --> 01:40:38,448
I feel the same about you.

1345
01:40:39,783 --> 01:40:41,075
On three.

1346
01:40:41,118 --> 01:40:42,285
One...

1347
01:40:42,369 --> 01:40:43,578
Two...

1348
01:40:43,620 --> 01:40:44,787
Three!

1349
01:41:11,523 --> 01:41:12,982
Roy. Roy!

1350
01:41:16,528 --> 01:41:17,695
Howdy.

1351
01:41:22,034 --> 01:41:24,744
In recognition of outstanding bravery,

1352
01:41:25,245 --> 01:41:27,997
I dub you Sir Chon Wang.

1353
01:41:33,420 --> 01:41:35,421
For uncommon valor,

1354
01:41:35,506 --> 01:41:38,674
I dub you Sir Roy O'Bannon.

1355
01:41:44,640 --> 01:41:47,475
And for steadfast dedication to justice,

1356
01:41:48,185 --> 01:41:51,104
I dub you Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

1357
01:41:56,902 --> 01:41:58,069
Arise.

1358
01:42:13,460 --> 01:42:15,211
Who loves you, baby?

1359
01:42:32,396 --> 01:42:33,563
Madam.

1360
01:42:36,108 --> 01:42:39,152
Artie, I bet Scotland Yard's
dying to get you back now.

1361
01:42:39,236 --> 01:42:41,487
My official crime-fighting days are over.

1362
01:42:41,572 --> 01:42:42,864
The Queen has asked me to

1363
01:42:42,906 --> 01:42:45,074
accompany the Imperial Seal
back to China.

1364
01:42:45,159 --> 01:42:46,409
What a week. Unbelievable.

1365
01:42:46,493 --> 01:42:48,411
She couldn't have picked
a better man, right, Chon?

1366
01:42:48,495 --> 01:42:49,620
Yeah.

1367
01:42:49,705 --> 01:42:52,623
And the voyage is gonna
give me time to work on my new novel.

1368
01:42:52,916 --> 01:42:54,917
It features a new kind of detective,

1369
01:42:54,960 --> 01:42:57,920
and he's gonna solve crimes
using deductive reasoning.

1370
01:42:58,130 --> 01:42:59,589
Give me a name. What's his name?

1371
01:42:59,673 --> 01:43:01,340
Actually, Roy, I was rather hoping

1372
01:43:01,425 --> 01:43:04,051
to call him Sherlock Holmes,
if that's all right with you.

1373
01:43:06,138 --> 01:43:08,431
I'd be insulted if you didn't use it.

1374
01:43:15,105 --> 01:43:16,314
See you, Artie.

1375
01:43:18,317 --> 01:43:20,484
That was very nice of you, Roy.

1376
01:43:20,569 --> 01:43:22,904
I would've kept the name
if I thought it was any good.

1377
01:43:22,946 --> 01:43:24,655
It's a horrible name for a detective,

1378
01:43:24,740 --> 01:43:26,782
Sherlock Holmes, Holmes.

1379
01:43:28,410 --> 01:43:30,286
Will you stop playing with that?
I'm gonna smash it.

1380
01:43:30,329 --> 01:43:31,454
I just want to see it for a second.

1381
01:43:31,538 --> 01:43:32,580
Just let me see it.

1382
01:43:32,623 --> 01:43:34,332
No, you're gonna break it.

1383
01:43:35,334 --> 01:43:37,710
It's just a rock with some gibberish on it.

1384
01:43:37,794 --> 01:43:39,295
That's Chinese.

1385
01:43:40,797 --> 01:43:42,924
Family is forever, my son.

1386
01:43:43,550 --> 01:43:46,052
I'm proud you cast your own stone.

1387
01:43:48,538 --> 01:43:50,139
That's a good message.

1388
01:43:57,564 --> 01:44:00,107
I'd like to cast my own stone, Chon.

1389
01:44:07,157 --> 01:44:08,157
Hi.

1390
01:44:08,242 --> 01:44:09,283
Hi.

1391
01:44:14,498 --> 01:44:17,333
I told you,
the house of O'Bannon will prevail.

1392
01:44:23,173 --> 01:44:25,466
Chon, I got a business
proposition for you.

1393
01:44:26,009 --> 01:44:27,385
No more zeppelins.

1394
01:44:27,469 --> 01:44:29,303
No, no, this is much better
than zeppelins...

1395
01:44:29,346 --> 01:44:32,640
A new thing they're starting out
in California called moving pictures.

1396
01:44:32,683 --> 01:44:33,808
Pass.

1397
01:44:33,850 --> 01:44:35,309
Hold it. Hold it. Hear me out.

1398
01:44:35,352 --> 01:44:37,770
I really think these movies
could play to your strength.

1399
01:44:37,854 --> 01:44:40,815
There's no sounds. We don't have to
worry about the language problem.

1400
01:44:40,857 --> 01:44:44,694
And I think the kung fu stuff
could be huge.

1401
01:44:44,736 --> 01:44:46,946
People are dying
for a good action picture.

1402
01:44:47,406 --> 01:44:49,198
What do you think?

1403
01:44:49,283 --> 01:44:51,409
Chon Wang, movie star?

1404
01:44:51,994 --> 01:44:53,077
It could work.

1405
01:44:54,162 --> 01:44:56,747
I feel bad about
ditching that Chaplin kid,

1406
01:44:56,832 --> 01:44:59,667
but we're gonna be running
and gunning in Hollywood,

1407
01:44:59,710 --> 01:45:01,502
and he'd just cramp our style.

1408
01:45:01,545 --> 01:45:03,462
It's such a tough town.

1409
01:45:20,022 --> 01:45:21,439
Bloody tourists!

1410
01:45:22,232 --> 01:45:23,482
Action!

1411
01:45:27,988 --> 01:45:30,740
<i>People try
to put us down</i>

1412
01:45:30,824 --> 01:45:33,242
<i>Talkin' 'bout my generation</i>

1413
01:45:33,285 --> 01:45:35,494
<i>Just because we get around</i>

1414
01:45:35,579 --> 01:45:38,247
<i>Talkin' 'bout my generation</i>

1415
01:45:40,751 --> 01:45:42,585
You have to say "cut".

1416
01:45:43,587 --> 01:45:45,463
You just keep looking!

1417
01:45:45,756 --> 01:45:48,174
<i>Talkin' 'bout my generation</i>

1418
01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:52,928
<i>This is my generation, baby</i>

1419
01:45:53,388 --> 01:45:55,181
Come here, you little minx.

1420
01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:56,932
Cut.

1421
01:45:56,975 --> 01:46:00,102
That was a good one, huh?

1422
01:46:01,605 --> 01:46:04,732
Maybe on this one
I should lick you. You think?

1423
01:46:05,192 --> 01:46:08,110
Like, after you lick me...
That could be kind of good.

1424
01:46:08,945 --> 01:46:10,279
And, Jackie...

1425
01:46:10,655 --> 01:46:12,114
Jackie? Thank you.

1426
01:46:12,157 --> 01:46:14,492
Hi, Owen. Hello. How are you?

1427
01:46:14,576 --> 01:46:16,952
Okay. And I'm not Roy O'Bannon.

1428
01:46:17,037 --> 01:46:18,621
Who are you?

1429
01:46:19,873 --> 01:46:21,624
Damn it, Chon, I think she's the one.

1430
01:46:21,708 --> 01:46:24,293
I know it's crazy.
We just met, but she's the one.

1431
01:46:24,378 --> 01:46:26,837
No, Roy, she's my babysitter.

1432
01:46:29,633 --> 01:46:31,300
Your babys...

1433
01:46:31,551 --> 01:46:32,635
What?

1434
01:46:33,261 --> 01:46:34,303
Baby what?

1435
01:46:34,388 --> 01:46:35,388
Baby sister.

1436
01:46:35,472 --> 01:46:36,972
Baby... Baby sister?

1437
01:46:37,057 --> 01:46:39,183
Not babysitter, baby sister.

1438
01:46:52,155 --> 01:46:53,322
You okay?

1439
01:46:54,741 --> 01:46:55,741
Action!

1440
01:46:58,912 --> 01:47:00,079
What happened?

1441
01:47:00,414 --> 01:47:03,040
Roy is the type of a friend
you never introduce

1442
01:47:03,125 --> 01:47:05,835
to your other friends
or bring into your family.

1443
01:47:05,877 --> 01:47:07,503
He's... Look at his eyes.

1444
01:47:07,546 --> 01:47:09,588
They're brown full of shit.

1445
01:47:09,673 --> 01:47:10,923
Always...

1446
01:47:11,466 --> 01:47:13,092
Just bullshit all the time.

1447
01:47:13,760 --> 01:47:15,010
Yeah, have you ever heard of those?

1448
01:47:15,095 --> 01:47:17,680
They're parents.
We have parents that love us.

1449
01:47:17,722 --> 01:47:20,641
You don't, 'cause you're a little orphan.

1450
01:47:22,018 --> 01:47:25,020
We've got par... Yeah, parents.

1451
01:47:25,063 --> 01:47:27,481
Have you ever heard of those?
We've got parents that love us.

1452
01:47:27,524 --> 01:47:30,151
But you don't,
'cause you're a little orphan.

1453
01:47:31,611 --> 01:47:33,237
Oh, n... Go on.

1454
01:47:34,406 --> 01:47:36,866
So mean.

1455
01:47:37,534 --> 01:47:39,535
Chon Wang, movie star?

1456
01:47:40,245 --> 01:47:41,370
It could work.

1457
01:47:41,455 --> 01:47:44,206
It could work.
You could do your own stunts.

1458
01:47:44,291 --> 01:47:45,833
What? Think about...

1459
01:47:54,968 --> 01:47:56,927
Stay here and be a good horsey

1460
01:47:57,012 --> 01:47:58,596
for the new sheriff.

1461
01:48:01,649 --> 01:48:02,683
That hurt.

1462
01:48:19,409 --> 01:48:21,368
You're supposed to catch me!

1463
01:48:21,411 --> 01:48:22,786
Roy, catch.

1464
01:48:29,920 --> 01:48:32,171
- Jesus.
- That's my fault.

1465
01:48:32,255 --> 01:48:36,949
Wait a second... This nut
is killing your street women?

1466
01:48:40,347 --> 01:48:41,805
Who did that?

1467
01:48:42,265 --> 01:48:43,432
Jackie Chan.

1468
01:48:43,475 --> 01:48:44,558
Me?

1469
01:48:44,601 --> 01:48:45,726
That's right.

1470
01:48:46,978 --> 01:48:49,063
First time, first time.

1471
01:48:49,105 --> 01:48:51,106
- The best take.
- I'm sorry.

1472
01:48:51,149 --> 01:48:52,441
Hurry up!

1473
01:48:52,484 --> 01:48:54,276
Are you crazy? I can't do that!

1474
01:48:54,361 --> 01:48:56,654
This isn't Chinatown!
I can't sail through the air!

1475
01:48:56,738 --> 01:48:57,821
I'm not gonna break my neck!

1476
01:48:57,906 --> 01:48:58,948
Roy!

1477
01:48:58,990 --> 01:49:00,032
What in our history together

1478
01:49:00,116 --> 01:49:02,785
makes you think I'm capable
of something like that?

1479
01:49:02,827 --> 01:49:03,869
It's getting bigger!

1480
01:49:03,954 --> 01:49:04,954
There's gotta be a better way.

1481
01:49:04,996 --> 01:49:06,080
Roy!

1482
01:49:06,957 --> 01:49:08,040
Roy!

1483
01:49:09,459 --> 01:49:11,168
My ass is on fire.

1484
01:49:23,390 --> 01:49:26,350
<i>I'm not content
to be with you</i>

1485
01:49:26,434 --> 01:49:28,227
<i>In the daytime</i>

1486
01:49:30,564 --> 01:49:33,315
<i>Girl, I want to be with you</i>

1487
01:49:33,400 --> 01:49:35,317
<i>All of the time</i>

1488
01:49:37,487 --> 01:49:40,322
<i>The only time I feel all right</i>

1489
01:49:40,365 --> 01:49:43,325
<i>Is by your side</i>

1490
01:49:44,452 --> 01:49:47,246
<i>Girl, I want to be with you</i>

1491
01:49:47,330 --> 01:49:48,789
<i>All of the time</i>

1492
01:49:48,832 --> 01:49:51,166
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1493
01:49:53,169 --> 01:49:55,921
<i>I believe that you and me</i>

1494
01:49:56,006 --> 01:49:57,965
<i>Last forever</i>

1495
01:49:59,926 --> 01:50:02,886
<i>Oh, yeah, all day and nighttime yours</i>

1496
01:50:02,971 --> 01:50:04,888
<i>Leave me never</i>

1497
01:50:06,850 --> 01:50:09,852
<i>The only time I feel all right</i>

1498
01:50:09,936 --> 01:50:12,938
<i>Is by your side</i>

1499
01:50:14,024 --> 01:50:16,817
<i>Girl, I want to be with you</i>

1500
01:50:16,860 --> 01:50:18,319
<i>All of the time</i>

1501
01:50:18,361 --> 01:50:20,696
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1502
01:50:21,615 --> 01:50:23,907
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1503
01:50:25,076 --> 01:50:27,369
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1504
01:50:31,416 --> 01:50:33,208
<i>All of the night</i>

1505
01:50:34,669 --> 01:50:36,211
<i>Oh, come on</i>

1506
01:50:50,560 --> 01:50:53,395
<i>The only time I feel all right</i>

1507
01:50:53,480 --> 01:50:56,440
<i>Is by your side</i>

1508
01:50:57,317 --> 01:51:00,277
<i>Girl, I want to be with you</i>

1509
01:51:00,362 --> 01:51:01,737
<i>All of the time</i>

1510
01:51:01,821 --> 01:51:04,406
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1511
01:51:04,449 --> 01:51:07,242
<i>Girl, I want to be with you</i>

1512
01:51:07,285 --> 01:51:08,535
<i>All of the time</i>

1513
01:51:08,578 --> 01:51:11,330
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1514
01:51:11,414 --> 01:51:14,208
<i>Girl, I want to be with you</i>

1515
01:51:14,250 --> 01:51:15,751
<i>All of the time</i>

1516
01:51:15,794 --> 01:51:18,045
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1517
01:51:18,088 --> 01:51:20,631
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1518
01:51:20,715 --> 01:51:23,175
<i>All day and all of the night</i>

1519
01:51:24,219 --> 01:51:26,970
<i>All day and all of the night</i>