1 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,291 Get the truck in! 2 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,625 Damn it! I said pull your men back. 3 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,462 I don't want any more casualties. 4 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,331 Get that news crew behind the line! 5 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,201 - Sir! - I got men down. I got rumors flying. 6 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,297 What the hell's going on down here? 7 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,206 We tried the urban assault tank. SWAT tried the roof. 8 00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,506 The guys in there are pros, and, sir? 9 00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:23,548 - They say they've got a nuke. - Jesus! 10 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,880 And I'm up for reelection. What are we gonna do? 11 00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:28,818 Don't worry. We've called in some pros of our own. 12 00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:57,007 Who the hell are those people? 13 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,331 - Sheriff's department. - The Reno Sheriff's Department- 14 00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:22,898 the finest team of law enforcement officers ever assembled. 15 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:26,236 But where the hell's your commanding officer? 16 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:44,151 Ow. Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 17 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,226 All right, talk to me, people. What do we got? 18 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,235 Thirty-five civilians on the 40th floor. 19 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:54,329 Twenty-two Chechnyan separatists, heavily armed. 20 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,773 They say they got a nuke, and I don't think they're just whistling "Dixie." 21 00:02:57,877 --> 00:02:59,970 All right, people, here's how this is gonna go down. 22 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,979 Jones, Garcia, head into the sewer system... 23 00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,413 breach the perimeter of that building and get that nuke... 24 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,782 - before they flamb� half of Washoe County. - You got it, sir. 25 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,355 Kimball, Johnson, take up sniper positions, so and so. 26 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,687 - Got it. - Junior, I want you to shave Miss Acapulco... 27 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,886 - and shave her good. - All over it, sir! 28 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:22,462 Wait, hold on, man. How comeJunior gets to shave Miss Acapulco... 29 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:25,629 and I got to go down in the sewers? 30 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,643 Why does he have to shave anybody? 31 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:40,085 Oh, wow. I just had the weirdest dream. 32 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:44,115 You know you're driving, right? 33 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,762 Huh. Nobody in it. 34 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,592 Is somebody gonna get that? 35 00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:41,537 Damn it! 36 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:58,160 My favorite thing about being a cop- 37 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,824 I love it when that perp get all scared of you. 38 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,833 You draw down on 'em. They get all scared. 39 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:05,335 "Oh, she about to kill me. Don't kill me. Don't kill me." 40 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,372 I love that. 41 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,566 I became a cop because... 42 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,701 my doctors thought it would be a good idea... 43 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,177 for me to get out of the house. 44 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,341 I feel like I bring a real, uh, joie de vivre to law enforcement. 45 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,885 For example, my uniform, uh- 46 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,182 I don't wear the regulation uniform. l- 47 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:26,747 I wear these, uh, shorts. 48 00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:29,726 And I actually had to lobby the sheriff's department to get to wear these. 49 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,593 Uh, but my argument was, hey, I'm out there on the streets. 50 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:35,133 I gotta be able to move like a cheetah, you know. 51 00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:38,067 A law enforcement cheetah. 52 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,038 Let's go! Let's go! Let's move! Move! Move! 53 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,870 We got ourselves a 8-14- armed person on a roof. 54 00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:46,376 I'll tell you right now, this is it. This is go time. 55 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,039 This is what working for the Reno Sheriff's Department is all about. 56 00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:51,173 Let's do it, people. Move! 57 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,753 - We got a situation here, Dangle. - We got a chicken. 58 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,321 - What? - Chicken situation. 59 00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:59,619 - That's not an 8-14! - We got it-We got it wrong. 60 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,751 - Who called in the 8-14? - I did. 61 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,160 - Just chase him into the jacket, and I'll carry him. - What's an 8-14? 62 00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:07,630 - Armed person on a roof. - Well- 63 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,760 - I thought a 8-14 was arson. - No, armed person on a roof. 64 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,168 - No, no, no, no. - Okay, okay, okay. 65 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:17,973 Stop, chicken! Stop! 66 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:19,476 - Ah, shit! - Look out! 67 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:22,571 I got it. I got him. 68 00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,650 - Oh, shit. - Whoa! 69 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,311 Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! 70 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,615 Chicken! 71 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,656 - No, no! - I'm just knocking him out, that's all. 72 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,420 - Maybe he'll hold still. We can beat him to death. - Ready? 73 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,791 Ow! Shit! Whoa! 74 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,864 Can we all shoot at the same time? 75 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,489 You point and you shoot. Goddamn. 76 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,591 - Let's shoot at the same time? - Shoot at the same time. 77 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,761 Okay. That's the only thing that sort of makes sense. 78 00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,896 - One. - No, I got Dangle's gun. Mine's out too. 79 00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:49,998 - Is yours out? - Two-And then that way, we- we'll never know who did it. 80 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:52,043 Don't start a count and then stop. 81 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,737 - Oh, sorry. - Yeah, it's like a execution. Nice. 82 00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:54,835 One- 83 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:57,177 - Sorry. My bad. - What the fuck? 84 00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,183 One, two- 85 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,752 - What? I didn't know- - Okay, on- 86 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,912 - Okay, on- - Ah! 87 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,786 - What? - I'm out. - Am I out? 88 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,520 Oh, I wasn't out. Sorry. I thought I was out! 89 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:10,926 - They fit that little midget guy. - Aw, he's shittin'. 90 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,692 - Should I call the newspaper and have 'em come take our picture? - No! 91 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,290 You do one on both legs. 92 00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:17,733 I have applied, uh... 93 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,771 nine times... 94 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,136 to the Aspen Sheriff's Department. 95 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:26,837 Um, I'll tell you this in- in, uh, the utmost secrecy. 96 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,813 l-I just don't think I can do it in this town anymore. 97 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:33,079 You know, Reno's really a lot like Mayberry on the TV... 98 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,747 except that everybody's on crystal meth and prostitution's legal. 99 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,654 Fuck you! 100 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,886 - Ah, morning, gang. - Morning. 101 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,793 So, the trustees were up in the ducts all weekend... 102 00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:50,028 and there should not be... too many more squirrels up in there. 103 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,833 So that sound that we were all hearing should, uh- should be gone. 104 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,238 - I hear it. - No. 105 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,574 - I knew they didn't get all of'em. - Want me to get it, Jim? 106 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,148 No more shooting in here. Have we not been over that? 107 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,877 - Yes. No, we have. - We don't shoot in here ever, right? 108 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,510 When do we shoot? When is it okay to shoot in the building? 109 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,714 Never. 110 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,347 - Hey! - Hmm? 111 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:17,589 Guess what, guys? We... have... been invited... 112 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,188 to the American Police Convention in Miami Beach! 113 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,597 - Oh! - Oh! 114 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,260 - Is this a joke? - What? 115 00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:29,066 - Three days of fun in the sun. - Why did they invite us? 116 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,235 They invited us this year... because... 117 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,245 they invited everybody. 118 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,908 - I'll take it. - So they had to invite us by default. Yes! 119 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,951 Group hugs. Group hugs. 120 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,782 - I'm gonna pass out. - We get to stay in a hotel and everything? 121 00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:47,053 - Yeah. - We do get to fly first class, right? 122 00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:48,956 Come on. 123 00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:50,961 Flyin'in style! 124 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:54,794 We, um- We are not flying- 125 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,246 I'm pooping. 126 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,442 Aah! 127 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,044 - Oh, Christ, I was dreaming. - Why was your hand on my dick? 128 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,885 I was dreaming that I was driving, uh, in the Indy 500. 129 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:20,549 Oh, God! Oh! 130 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,098 - Can we go look at the guns? - Yes, go look at the guns. 131 00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:09,197 I'm gonna get our passes. Let's all regroup here in 90 seconds. 132 00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:11,037 Oh, my God. 133 00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:13,077 That's the Aspen Sheriff's Department. 134 00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:18,482 Sheriff Wagner. 135 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,488 - Wrong bar, buddy. - No, no, s- No, sir. Uh, I apologize. 136 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,490 I'm in my, uh, civilian rig. 137 00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,856 - You probably remember me from your- - Name? 138 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,623 Dangle. Lieutenant, uh, uh, Jim- uh, James Ron Dangle. 139 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:35,792 Uh, I sent you my r�sum� and-and some stats and a couple of letters of recommendation. 140 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:39,530 - Yeah. - And, um, about eight or maybe even nine times actually. 141 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,472 - There were nine. - Yeah. And you didn't get 'em, I guess. 142 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,806 We got 'em. Uh, we pass 'em around. 143 00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:48,471 We have a pretty good laugh. 144 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:52,483 I didn't believe you were real. Here he is, guys. 145 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:56,021 This Dangle thing, I swear to gosh- We thought it was a joke. 146 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,989 - I haven't seen one thing- - Mm-hmm. 147 00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,991 - in your file- - Sure. 148 00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:04,756 that would indicate... our want of you. 149 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:08,061 So, thanks. No, thanks. 150 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,465 - I'd love to change your mind on that. - No, thanks. 151 00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:12,036 Just want to press the- Okay. 152 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,698 Hi. Yeah, could you step away from the helicopter, please? 153 00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,207 Yeah, ma'am, I was just explaining how I used to fly these... 154 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:20,938 - during the Marine Corps back in '82, '85. - Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. 155 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,947 Is there someone above you? You, can I talk to you? 156 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,778 - There's, um- Is there yelling? - Who are you? 157 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,853 Hi, I'm, uh, Deputy Assistant MayorJeff Spoder. 158 00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:30,649 - And you're- - Hi. LieutenantJim Dangle, Reno Sheriff's Department. 159 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:33,224 - Lieutenant Jim Dangle, Reno Sheriff's Department. - Is his name in the system? 160 00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:35,520 I did it several times. He is not in the system. 161 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,222 - Trudy did the reservations, right? - I will do it again. 162 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,594 - You did a name and city search? - Or not. 163 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,668 - There's no Reno. - There is a Reno. 164 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,703 - I am aware that there's a Reno. - We have an airport. 165 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,740 - Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! - Get him! 166 00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:50,468 - Here we go. - Go and do it, Trudy. 167 00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,578 What the fuck? 168 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,944 - I don't like yelling, okay? - If you won't give us our laminates... 169 00:11:57,049 --> 00:12:00,018 - can we have at least, please, our hotel room keys? - We ain't got no place to stay. 170 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,950 - We've been on a bus for days. - There's no- 171 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:04,318 - You're not in there for hotel rooms. Sorry. - Hotel room keys... 172 00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:07,221 are with the registration packets, the brochures and the laminates. 173 00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,226 And give us all of those right now, please. 174 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,558 You can't have them because you're not in my system. 175 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,598 - What are we gonna do? - You know what? 176 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:16,099 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We don't need these guys. 177 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,102 - No, we don't. - No. - Fuck 'em. 178 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:20,297 - We have each other. - Well, that wasn't- 179 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,601 - That's not-That's not better. - No, what I meant is... 180 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:25,006 we'll go someplace even nicer- That's what we'll do. 181 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:35,079 Hola. Schei�e! 182 00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:37,815 - Hi. - Hello. 183 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:41,154 - How are you? - Hello. Good. 184 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,319 How are you? Welcome to International Inn. 185 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,397 How many of them are you for my rooms? 186 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,432 Uh, there's eight of us for your rooms. 187 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:50,331 Eight. How- How many rooms do you need? One? 188 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,768 - Uh, we would prefer eight. - Eight. 189 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,635 Let's go see the entire hotel, shall we? 190 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,503 - I'll take you on a quick tour. - Well- 191 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,600 Then you can all get back to your suck fest. 192 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,441 Uh, A: we're not here for a suck fest, we're here for the convention. 193 00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:04,641 - There's been a little mix-up, which is why- - Okay, I like convention "toos." 194 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,116 - Okay. - Look at me. I'm in a convention. 195 00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:10,450 A fucking suck fest convention here at International Inn. 196 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:15,721 Hey, assholes. More assholes for your big suck fest tonight. 197 00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:19,657 How's the suck fest going, assholes? 198 00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:22,461 You know the suck fest in here? 199 00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:26,095 - How many rooms do you have, Glen? - I have- 200 00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:28,673 - I have- uh, six rooms. - Just give us what you have. 201 00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:31,334 - Can we have the keys to those? - You can have keys to six rooms. 202 00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:33,775 - Okay, gang, and we'll- - This matches. Grab that one there. 203 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,370 - That's it. - No, hey. Hey. Hey. 204 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,006 What are you doin'? 205 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:40,915 This motel is like- 206 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:45,252 It's like the kind of place you'd come to if you wanted to get... 207 00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,825 a good old-fashioned rapin'... 208 00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:51,158 or a down-home murder. 209 00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:54,391 Okay, gang, I know we didn't get in. 210 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,900 - Yeah. - I know we're not stayin' at the nicest place in town. 211 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,493 But goddamn it, we're in Miami, people. 212 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:03,041 - We're in "Mee-ami." - It's true. 213 00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,600 This city's got hot Latin flavor up to its nuts. 214 00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:09,340 Goddamn it. Let's go paint this town red. Let's do it, huh? 215 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,926 - Hey, bitch, you shut that kid up, okay? 216 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,534 Thanks for drivin', man. 217 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,763 No problem. 218 00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:36,232 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 219 00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,242 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 220 00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:51,285 Take the night off, Joe. 221 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,316 Need some assistance there, ma'am? 222 00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:13,777 - Hey, Clemmy. - Jimbo. 223 00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:16,109 How ya doin'? 224 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:19,810 I'm so tired. I just feel like we've been here for years and years and years already. 225 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,012 Oh. Well. 226 00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:24,487 - Let's go take- - I need to get some smokes. 227 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,785 Oh, okay. All right. Okay. 228 00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,985 Good night. 229 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,028 Damn. 230 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,528 Hey, bro, check it out. Candy underpants. 231 00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:40,696 It's a goof. Just a goof. 232 00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:50,371 Hey, Jim. 233 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:53,417 You want to be a doll and help me lube up my sunburn? 234 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,082 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 235 00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:02,991 Stop right there and take it all in. 236 00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:05,563 I got some liquor. I got some ice. 237 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,564 - I'm not feelin' well, baby. - Come here. Come here. 238 00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,566 - Come here. - No, Ray-Ray, I'm- I'm- 239 00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:11,795 I'm coming down with something. 240 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,804 Please? 241 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:19,802 Ooh, that pisses me off. That pisses me off. 242 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,812 - Hey, Ray. - Shut up. 243 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:26,408 - Oh! Oh, hey, I'm sorry. - Stop pushing up on me. 244 00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:30,181 I don't appreciate you insinuating all the time that I am some lesbian. 245 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:33,588 - I'm sorry. - Thank you for apologizing. 246 00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:38,152 This is, uh-This is Trill. This is my friend, Sugar. 247 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:41,164 We're gonna go play a little ball, aren't we? 248 00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:43,166 We'll see you later. 249 00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,998 Come on, ladies. 250 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,300 Oh! 251 00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:51,171 - What's up, girl? - Mr. Jones, huh? 252 00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:53,335 - Yeah. Yes. - Mr. Jones. 253 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:56,073 Why don't you come give me some sugar? 254 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,672 - Speaking of bushes- - Whoa! 255 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,809 I don't know where there's one there. 256 00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:03,080 Get one of these, uh- Get one of them. 257 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,452 - Huh? Get in a bush and- - No, l- I'm- 258 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,457 I don't know about that. 259 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,459 Oh. 260 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:12,997 I'm so sick. 261 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,792 Come on. Come on! 262 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,885 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! 263 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:48,159 It ain't what it looks like! It ain't what it looks like! 264 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,235 Be gentle. Geez! 265 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,929 Oh, my God- 266 00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:55,939 - Hey, Jonesy! - Oh- 267 00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:15,780 Man Speaking Spanish] 268 00:18:35,644 --> 00:18:37,874 Open up. I don't have a key to this door. 269 00:18:39,581 --> 00:18:41,549 It's open. 270 00:18:44,987 --> 00:18:46,887 - Oh, my God. Are you okay? - Oh! 271 00:18:46,989 --> 00:18:49,321 I'm in love. 272 00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:53,121 - Congratulations. - Um, you have a- a bandage on your teat. 273 00:18:53,228 --> 00:18:56,163 For real. Like for real. 274 00:18:56,264 --> 00:18:59,665 - A love bandage. - No, like a Ace bandage. 275 00:18:59,768 --> 00:19:01,668 - Yeah, an Ace bandage on your- - On your boob. 276 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:06,434 Oh, my Go- If I have been stabbed, I am gonna be so pissed! 277 00:19:08,010 --> 00:19:11,002 - Stop the room. Stop the room from moving, please. - Hold on. Hold on. 278 00:19:11,113 --> 00:19:15,072 Hold on. Hold on. You have something on your boob for real. No joke. 279 00:19:19,287 --> 00:19:21,812 That's him! 280 00:19:21,923 --> 00:19:24,187 - Oh! That's him. - Huh? 281 00:19:24,292 --> 00:19:26,226 - That's him. - Who? 282 00:19:26,328 --> 00:19:29,889 This is the man that's been making sweet, dirty love to me all night long. 283 00:19:29,998 --> 00:19:32,694 Kinda looks like Richard Petty, the NASCAR guy. 284 00:19:32,801 --> 00:19:35,201 - Yeah. You've been making love with Richard Petty? - I don't know! 285 00:19:35,303 --> 00:19:37,203 I love him. 286 00:19:37,305 --> 00:19:39,205 I have to find who this is. 287 00:19:39,307 --> 00:19:41,332 - Well, no, we gotta go- - I have to find who this is. 288 00:19:41,443 --> 00:19:43,434 No, we gotta go back to the convention center, guys. 289 00:19:43,545 --> 00:19:45,979 No, you have to go buy me some cranberry juice... 290 00:19:46,081 --> 00:19:48,276 'cause it's gonna be one of those days, I'll tell you. 291 00:19:48,383 --> 00:19:51,682 - Oh, no. Yeast infection time. - I'll tell you. 292 00:19:55,390 --> 00:19:58,325 - I'm gonna break this down for you one time. 293 00:19:58,427 --> 00:20:01,863 - This looks bad. - We have a bioterrorism attack here. 294 00:20:01,963 --> 00:20:05,296 - Holy fuck. - They were infected with a toxin to which we have no antidote. 295 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,927 It is not identified. Do we have any government officials here... 296 00:20:09,037 --> 00:20:11,267 - from Miami- - I'm the assistant, uh, deputy mayor. 297 00:20:11,373 --> 00:20:13,273 Jeff Spoder. 298 00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:17,141 Right. What we need is someone who is high-ranking in the Miami Beach government. 299 00:20:17,245 --> 00:20:19,770 They're all- Everyone above me, um, is- 300 00:20:19,881 --> 00:20:21,815 is stuck in the convention center right now. 301 00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:25,216 You quarantined them in there, so I'm the acting, uh- 302 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,220 I'm actually- I'm acting mayor right now. 303 00:20:27,322 --> 00:20:30,485 All right, this is Acting MayorJeff Spoder. 304 00:20:30,592 --> 00:20:33,152 If you need any office supplies, get some copies made... 305 00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:35,593 a stapler, it's this guy. 306 00:20:35,697 --> 00:20:39,064 l-I'd like to coordinate with your, um, team to a-assess and handle the- 307 00:20:39,167 --> 00:20:42,159 I'd love to know where you are at all times so I can avoid you. 308 00:20:42,270 --> 00:20:44,170 That would be helpful. Now- 309 00:20:44,272 --> 00:20:47,469 We have an infectious contamination in this building. 310 00:20:47,576 --> 00:20:51,979 We have quarantined it. We have plus or minus 2,000 law enforcement officers... 311 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,607 from all over this great United States of America in there. 312 00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:58,379 - 2,130. - Do we have any police officers at all... 313 00:20:58,487 --> 00:21:01,581 outside the confines of this building? 314 00:21:03,759 --> 00:21:06,557 Step up. Highest ranking officer. 315 00:21:08,897 --> 00:21:10,865 Anybody? 316 00:21:14,169 --> 00:21:17,764 Jesus Christ. You're in charge? 317 00:21:17,873 --> 00:21:20,933 Sir, yes, sir. Wh-What are- What are ya-What's going on? 318 00:21:21,042 --> 00:21:25,001 All right, right now we got the entire Miami Beach police force in there. 319 00:21:25,113 --> 00:21:27,877 - Check. - That means that these streets right now are unpatrolled. 320 00:21:27,983 --> 00:21:30,247 I need every one of you out there... 321 00:21:30,352 --> 00:21:33,287 answering 911 calls, patrolling the streets. 322 00:21:33,388 --> 00:21:36,380 Department of Homeland Security is gonna be maintaining the perimeter. 323 00:21:36,491 --> 00:21:39,790 There is no police force of any kind outside the building? 324 00:21:39,895 --> 00:21:41,988 How the hell have you not picked this up yet? 325 00:21:42,097 --> 00:21:44,122 - Go out there, patrol the streets. - Right. 326 00:21:44,232 --> 00:21:48,225 You're the only thing standing between complete chaos and order. 327 00:21:48,336 --> 00:21:50,236 Check! We're on it! 328 00:21:50,338 --> 00:21:52,533 The Reno Sheriff's Department at your service, sir! 329 00:21:52,641 --> 00:21:54,268 - Where's the, uh- - Can we have a map? 330 00:21:54,376 --> 00:21:56,310 - Where's the police station? - Where are we supposed to go? 331 00:22:03,652 --> 00:22:06,018 It's all right. It's all right. I'm here. 332 00:22:06,121 --> 00:22:08,021 - Rogers? - That's me. 333 00:22:11,626 --> 00:22:13,560 Holy shit! 334 00:22:16,631 --> 00:22:18,758 Rick Smith, SWAT. 335 00:22:18,867 --> 00:22:23,827 They call me "The Condor." 336 00:22:23,939 --> 00:22:27,534 I'm sorry I'm late to the barbecue. I was on a mission when I got the call. 337 00:22:27,642 --> 00:22:29,405 Let me ask you a question, people. 338 00:22:29,511 --> 00:22:33,174 What's the difference between bravery and courage? 339 00:22:33,281 --> 00:22:38,241 - Oh, I know. Bravery is something that you do. - Shh. Shh. 340 00:22:38,353 --> 00:22:41,220 Cour- Sorry. 341 00:22:41,323 --> 00:22:44,383 Bravery is when you do something dangerous... 342 00:22:44,492 --> 00:22:46,756 and you're not even scared. 343 00:22:46,862 --> 00:22:50,855 Courage is when you're smart enough to know... 344 00:22:50,966 --> 00:22:55,926 you should be scared, but you do it anyway. 345 00:22:56,037 --> 00:22:57,664 Oh. 346 00:22:58,707 --> 00:23:01,198 You will not fail. 347 00:23:01,309 --> 00:23:04,301 I will not allow you to fail. 348 00:23:04,412 --> 00:23:08,439 Under my watch, I will not allow you to fail. 349 00:23:08,550 --> 00:23:12,884 As God as my witness, we will not fail. 350 00:23:12,988 --> 00:23:14,888 Are you with me? 351 00:23:14,990 --> 00:23:16,890 Uh- 352 00:23:16,992 --> 00:23:18,960 - Are you with me? - Is that- 353 00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:22,962 It's okay. I know what I'm doing. I know the thing is out of the thing. 354 00:23:23,064 --> 00:23:25,624 This can come out. This stays like this. 355 00:23:25,734 --> 00:23:26,826 - Okay. - Are you with me? 356 00:23:26,935 --> 00:23:29,233 - Yes! - Are you with me? 357 00:23:29,337 --> 00:23:31,669 - Yes! - How- Okay, the thing. Okay that came out now for real. 358 00:23:31,773 --> 00:23:33,604 Wait. Wait. Wait. 359 00:23:33,708 --> 00:23:36,609 No, it's okay. I got 10 seconds with these sons of bitches. 360 00:23:36,711 --> 00:23:38,269 - I got 'em. - Wait a second. 361 00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:39,745 Oh, fuck. 362 00:23:42,284 --> 00:23:45,276 Oh, man! That's how blood splatters. 363 00:23:48,256 --> 00:23:51,657 Um, so does that mean we're back in charge? 364 00:23:52,794 --> 00:23:54,762 Yeah. 365 00:23:56,464 --> 00:23:57,988 I scheduled a big Friday meeting. 366 00:24:32,767 --> 00:24:34,758 Wow. 367 00:24:57,258 --> 00:25:00,785 911- 368 00:25:03,198 --> 00:25:05,826 Sheriff's department. 369 00:25:05,934 --> 00:25:08,198 Hello- Hello? 370 00:25:08,303 --> 00:25:09,770 - Sheriff's department. - Sheriff's department. 371 00:25:09,871 --> 00:25:11,771 - Sheriff's department. - Sheriff's department. 372 00:25:11,873 --> 00:25:14,171 Sheriff's department. 373 00:25:14,275 --> 00:25:17,210 911. Uh, yes, sir, what is the nature of your emergency? 374 00:25:17,312 --> 00:25:19,280 Okay, where are you? 375 00:25:19,381 --> 00:25:21,406 No, in relationship to where I am. 376 00:25:21,516 --> 00:25:25,247 I just have to check a map. I am s- Hold on. Hold on. Can you hold, please? 377 00:25:25,353 --> 00:25:28,914 - Hello, sheriff's department. - All right, uh, I can't- I don't have a pen. 378 00:25:29,024 --> 00:25:30,924 Uh, I don't have- I don't- 379 00:25:31,026 --> 00:25:34,018 Okay, people! Let's roll! 380 00:25:36,131 --> 00:25:39,658 - Dear Lord. - My, oh, my. 381 00:25:39,768 --> 00:25:41,929 My ride is greater than your ride. 382 00:25:42,037 --> 00:25:44,767 Hey, everybody. Everybody- 383 00:25:44,873 --> 00:25:47,467 - Let's be careful out there, okay? - Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 384 00:25:47,575 --> 00:25:49,372 - Oh. - Oh. - Oh, shit. 385 00:25:49,477 --> 00:25:51,206 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm all right. 386 00:25:51,312 --> 00:25:53,212 - I'm fine. - Go ahead. Go ahead. 387 00:25:58,053 --> 00:25:59,953 Supposed to be- 388 00:26:00,055 --> 00:26:02,717 We could've hit 11 th and Ocean, like, five minutes ago. 389 00:26:12,534 --> 00:26:15,128 Wait a second. Are we on a street? 390 00:26:16,271 --> 00:26:18,205 I think we're in a- We're in a caf�. 391 00:26:18,306 --> 00:26:20,604 - I think we're in a caf�. - We're in a caf�. 392 00:26:20,708 --> 00:26:22,608 Shit. 393 00:26:23,645 --> 00:26:25,545 Sheriff's department. 394 00:26:25,647 --> 00:26:27,114 Nothin'- Nothin' to see here. 395 00:26:27,282 --> 00:26:29,113 It took us 40 minutes to get out. 396 00:26:29,217 --> 00:26:31,117 If you would've turned right on Mar�a Buena- 397 00:26:31,219 --> 00:26:33,244 - You didn't tell me to. - I did tell you to. 398 00:26:33,354 --> 00:26:36,118 - No, you didn't. - Don't tell me what I didn't tell you. 399 00:26:36,224 --> 00:26:39,751 - Sheriff's department! - "El departmento de sheriff." 400 00:26:41,796 --> 00:26:43,957 - Oh! - Oh! 401 00:26:44,065 --> 00:26:45,794 - Oh, hell. Shit, no. - Oh! 402 00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:48,494 - That's a North American alligator, man. - Ah, shit. Okay, what do we do? 403 00:26:48,603 --> 00:26:50,298 Uh- Hell, let's just- 404 00:26:50,405 --> 00:26:52,270 - Yeah, we should just go. - Let's just go. 405 00:26:52,373 --> 00:26:54,136 Just let nature take its course. 406 00:26:54,242 --> 00:26:56,836 Hello! There y'all are. You trespassin'. 407 00:26:56,945 --> 00:26:58,674 - Sir. - You little sneaky trespassers. 408 00:26:58,780 --> 00:27:00,645 - Get back in- No! - Sir. 409 00:27:00,748 --> 00:27:03,546 - Sir, please. Please get back in your yard. - How are we doin'? Hi. 410 00:27:03,651 --> 00:27:05,881 - We got a situation here, sir. - Yeah, we got a situation. 411 00:27:05,987 --> 00:27:08,820 - Couple blueberries comin' in and makin' a fruit salad, huh? - Sir, please! 412 00:27:08,923 --> 00:27:11,016 - Sir. Sir. - No. No! Hey! 413 00:27:11,126 --> 00:27:13,253 - We can't allow you to go in the pool, sir. - Why not? 414 00:27:13,361 --> 00:27:15,829 That gator won't bite. You scared of this pretty little thing? 415 00:27:15,930 --> 00:27:18,694 - I don't know, sir. - You scared of this pretty little thing? 416 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,291 He's a gator. Where you from? Where you from, you don't know gator? 417 00:27:21,402 --> 00:27:24,235 We're from Reno. We're not from here. 418 00:27:25,406 --> 00:27:26,896 - Oh, shit. - Hey, look. Look here. 419 00:27:27,008 --> 00:27:29,135 Rule number one for gator- you gotta respect it. 420 00:27:29,244 --> 00:27:31,678 - You don't respect a gator, gator not respect you. - Don't touch it! 421 00:27:31,779 --> 00:27:34,805 - Stop! - They got peripheral eye vision on the side. 422 00:27:34,916 --> 00:27:37,146 I'm gonna come at him like another predator. 423 00:27:37,252 --> 00:27:39,447 Not a prey, I come at him like a predator. 424 00:27:39,554 --> 00:27:42,250 - Stop that. T.J., pleasejust stop all of this. - Now look at this. 425 00:27:42,357 --> 00:27:44,257 Now watch this. Watch this. Watch this. 426 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:45,986 - No. - Oh, okay. 427 00:27:46,094 --> 00:27:47,755 Don't even refle- 'Cause he respect me. 428 00:27:47,862 --> 00:27:50,729 One, two, three, four, five, and then it split to a double. 429 00:27:50,832 --> 00:27:53,426 That mean this gator 50 year old. He been attacked before. 430 00:27:53,535 --> 00:27:55,765 He know how to approach. Now watch this. Watch this. 431 00:27:55,870 --> 00:27:57,770 - No! No! - Watch for it. 432 00:27:59,007 --> 00:28:01,567 - Come on now! - I'm his daddy! 433 00:28:01,676 --> 00:28:03,667 Come on. Get out. No. 434 00:28:03,778 --> 00:28:06,178 - Okay. No. - Look at that. That gator don't bite. He don't do nothin'. 435 00:28:07,649 --> 00:28:09,742 Well, that gator dead. 436 00:28:09,851 --> 00:28:11,751 Yeah, this gator's dead. 437 00:28:12,620 --> 00:28:13,882 Aah! 438 00:28:26,301 --> 00:28:28,201 This is the life. I am so gla- 439 00:28:28,303 --> 00:28:30,897 How did we luck out, and all those other turkeys... 440 00:28:31,005 --> 00:28:32,905 are dealing with that bio-attack? 441 00:28:33,007 --> 00:28:34,907 I don't know. And guess what? 442 00:28:35,009 --> 00:28:36,977 I don't care. 'Cause I'm shaking my shoulders. 443 00:28:37,078 --> 00:28:39,171 - I'm shaking my shoulders. - Me neither. I don't care. 444 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,840 - Check it out. - Don't hate, ladies. 445 00:28:41,950 --> 00:28:43,713 - Don't hate. - Don't hate on me. 446 00:28:43,818 --> 00:28:46,150 - Don't hate on me. No, she didn't. - Stop it. 447 00:28:46,254 --> 00:28:48,188 - Yeah. - Let me get your vernacular straightened out... 448 00:28:48,289 --> 00:28:51,190 'cause I don't want you embarrassing me in case we meet some people. 449 00:28:51,292 --> 00:28:53,783 Okay, so if somebody comes up to you and they say... 450 00:28:53,895 --> 00:28:56,295 "Hey, Officer," what you gonna say back? 451 00:28:56,397 --> 00:28:59,332 - Give it to me. - No- No, you didn't, bitch! 452 00:29:02,270 --> 00:29:05,239 - So if somebody says, "Hey, how you doin'?" - Mm-hmm. 453 00:29:05,340 --> 00:29:09,037 You just go, "What up, yo?" Got it? 454 00:29:09,143 --> 00:29:11,634 What up, yo, player? 455 00:29:11,746 --> 00:29:14,943 See, you keep putting extras on it. That's-You don't follow instructions. 456 00:29:15,049 --> 00:29:18,576 - You just supposed to say exactly what I told you to say. - All right, try it again. 457 00:29:18,686 --> 00:29:22,417 - Hey, how you doin'? - Shut up, nigga. 458 00:29:28,630 --> 00:29:32,031 I did it again. Ow! Jesus Christ, Ray. 459 00:29:32,133 --> 00:29:35,967 - I'm hungry. - I'm afraid I did a terrible thing. 460 00:29:36,070 --> 00:29:37,970 - What? - Well, I had to pee... 461 00:29:38,072 --> 00:29:40,939 so instead of doing the whole bathing suit off... 462 00:29:41,042 --> 00:29:43,636 I did the- the pull over and out the side. 463 00:29:43,745 --> 00:29:45,770 Oh, yeah, where you pull it to the side. 464 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,713 And I think I dribbled a little bit. 465 00:30:00,795 --> 00:30:04,322 �Coma mi amigo bailar en el discotheque-o? 466 00:30:04,432 --> 00:30:06,366 I don't speak Spanish. 467 00:30:09,804 --> 00:30:11,499 Hey! What the hell? Hey! 468 00:30:11,606 --> 00:30:13,233 Shit! Ow! 469 00:30:30,992 --> 00:30:33,654 How ya doin', guys? Eh? 470 00:30:33,761 --> 00:30:35,661 - Uh- - Who is your little friend? 471 00:30:35,763 --> 00:30:38,527 - We don't know him, sir. - Uh, we don't know that guy. 472 00:30:38,633 --> 00:30:41,261 Oh, you don't know who this is? 473 00:30:41,369 --> 00:30:43,269 No, sir. 474 00:30:43,371 --> 00:30:45,498 You believe these guys? 475 00:30:45,606 --> 00:30:48,404 Oh! Oh! 476 00:30:48,509 --> 00:30:50,841 - I get really sick and tired- - I don't know you or anybody else- 477 00:30:56,984 --> 00:30:59,282 Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 478 00:30:59,387 --> 00:31:00,854 - We don't know him. - We don't know him. 479 00:31:00,955 --> 00:31:03,185 I'm not a cop. I'm just- I'm here on vacation, man. 480 00:31:03,291 --> 00:31:05,452 - How'd you know Mr. Big? - We don't know Mr. Big. 481 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,926 - What is your connection to Mr. Big? - We don't know Mr. Big! 482 00:31:08,029 --> 00:31:10,964 - Why are you investigating me? - We're not- Huh? 483 00:31:11,065 --> 00:31:13,363 Look, you guys are smart guys, right? 484 00:31:13,468 --> 00:31:15,368 - Yeah. - I know this. 485 00:31:15,470 --> 00:31:18,633 - No. No. We're not. - All the other cops are imprisoned in that building. 486 00:31:18,740 --> 00:31:21,573 But you manage to walk the streets. I don't know how you escaped it. 487 00:31:21,676 --> 00:31:24,372 We didn't-We couldn't get our passes, sir. 488 00:31:26,481 --> 00:31:28,574 You're very smart. 489 00:31:30,418 --> 00:31:33,046 Huh? Huh? Get my message? 490 00:31:33,154 --> 00:31:36,817 Oh! Oh! Man! 491 00:31:36,924 --> 00:31:39,654 - Ow! Goddamn! - Turn it off. 492 00:31:39,761 --> 00:31:43,424 Sick fuck! Who brings a weed whacker on a boat? 493 00:31:44,766 --> 00:31:48,668 You forget you ever see me. 494 00:31:56,944 --> 00:31:58,809 Sheriff's department. 495 00:31:58,913 --> 00:32:00,813 I got this tattoo the other day, um... 496 00:32:00,915 --> 00:32:04,248 and I don't know where I got it, so I'm wondering if I got it here. 497 00:32:04,352 --> 00:32:08,015 Why don't you, uh, come back here. Come take a look at it. 498 00:32:10,758 --> 00:32:12,692 Mmm, yeah. 499 00:32:12,794 --> 00:32:15,194 Okay, so, the tattoo's on the left, right? 500 00:32:15,296 --> 00:32:17,230 - Mm-hmm. - So, I don't know why we're- 501 00:32:17,331 --> 00:32:20,494 Well, you know, it's- it's as much about where it's not, as where it is. 502 00:32:20,601 --> 00:32:22,466 Get a sense here, if I can- 503 00:32:22,570 --> 00:32:24,470 - If I just- - That's some beautiful work. 504 00:32:24,572 --> 00:32:27,040 Thank you. I'm hoping you guys can tell me whose it is... 505 00:32:27,141 --> 00:32:29,109 because I'm really in pain here. 506 00:32:29,210 --> 00:32:31,838 Hey! What the fuck? 507 00:32:31,946 --> 00:32:34,437 - Oh. I was- - Our fucking toilets need snakin' back there. 508 00:32:34,549 --> 00:32:36,813 - I don't pay you to play grab-ass with the clients. - I was- 509 00:32:36,918 --> 00:32:39,352 She came in and l- You weren't around, so I was just- 510 00:32:39,454 --> 00:32:41,354 - Snake the fucking toilets. - Got it. 511 00:32:41,456 --> 00:32:45,187 - See you later, Breen. - Fucking plumbers, man. 512 00:32:45,293 --> 00:32:47,352 - Can I help you? - What's up? 513 00:32:47,462 --> 00:32:51,865 So, we got a call that there was some lewd behavior going on on the boardwalk. 514 00:32:51,966 --> 00:32:54,526 Possible prostitution. 515 00:32:54,635 --> 00:32:56,535 Holy shit. Is that Terry? 516 00:32:56,637 --> 00:33:00,164 That's Terry. That's one of our locals from Reno. 517 00:33:00,274 --> 00:33:02,674 - Terry! - What? 518 00:33:02,777 --> 00:33:05,974 - Hi! - What the hell? 519 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,980 - What you doin' in Miami? - What's goin' on? 520 00:33:08,082 --> 00:33:09,982 Look at your hair. That's fun. 521 00:33:10,084 --> 00:33:12,348 - Terry, what are you doin' here? - What do you mean? 522 00:33:12,453 --> 00:33:14,546 I just flew in on my jet. 523 00:33:14,655 --> 00:33:16,646 Terry, what are you- Did you follow us to Miami? 524 00:33:16,757 --> 00:33:19,157 - Did you know we were coming down here? - No, I live here. 525 00:33:19,260 --> 00:33:21,160 It's where my house is. I have 17 houses. 526 00:33:21,262 --> 00:33:22,923 - This is where one of'em is. - Terry. 527 00:33:23,030 --> 00:33:24,964 What did I do? 528 00:33:25,066 --> 00:33:27,432 What-That's what we want to know. What did you do? 529 00:33:27,535 --> 00:33:29,730 We got a call about lewd behavior on the boardwalk... 530 00:33:29,837 --> 00:33:33,864 and you the only thing I see around here that could qualify... as lewd. 531 00:33:33,975 --> 00:33:35,875 How is this- I'm not lewd at all. 532 00:33:35,977 --> 00:33:38,343 I don't even know what- Lube or lewd? 533 00:33:38,446 --> 00:33:40,038 - Terry. - What? 534 00:33:40,147 --> 00:33:42,138 Why are you here, and what are you doing? 535 00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:46,346 I just flew in. I'm recording an album. 536 00:33:46,454 --> 00:33:48,354 It's called... 537 00:33:48,456 --> 00:33:51,482 Terry: South Bitch: Live: 538 00:33:51,592 --> 00:33:53,822 Fuck You, Dad. 539 00:33:53,928 --> 00:33:56,692 And it drops in, uh, 2009. 540 00:33:56,797 --> 00:34:01,496 Terry, when you are here, you are an ambassador for Reno. 541 00:34:01,602 --> 00:34:04,196 Heavy on the "assador." 542 00:34:04,305 --> 00:34:07,035 South "be-otch." 543 00:34:07,141 --> 00:34:09,371 - Knock it off. - Listen- 544 00:34:09,477 --> 00:34:12,139 - I'm on wheels, yo. - What are you covered in? 545 00:34:12,246 --> 00:34:15,443 - Ew. Terry. - What? It's, uh, apple martini and lube. 546 00:34:15,550 --> 00:34:17,745 - Ugh! - Come on, Terry. 547 00:34:17,852 --> 00:34:19,911 That's not all you on. What else are you on? 548 00:34:20,021 --> 00:34:22,114 - What else are you on? - I'm on fucking crack, yo. 549 00:34:24,425 --> 00:34:28,384 The Department of Homeland Security has supplied us... 550 00:34:28,496 --> 00:34:31,260 with some evidence collected by themselves and the C.D. C... 551 00:34:31,365 --> 00:34:33,265 from the convention center. 552 00:34:33,367 --> 00:34:38,327 And it is ourjob to put the pieces together. 553 00:34:38,439 --> 00:34:40,407 Anyone have a theory? 554 00:34:45,446 --> 00:34:47,710 Oh, my God! 555 00:34:47,815 --> 00:34:49,976 - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! - Put it back on! 556 00:34:50,084 --> 00:34:51,745 Aaah! Whoo-hoo! 557 00:34:51,852 --> 00:34:53,752 - Oh, God! Oh! - Come on. Be thorough, guys. 558 00:34:53,854 --> 00:34:55,583 Oh! Aaah! 559 00:34:55,690 --> 00:35:00,093 - You got some stunning abs. - Oh, thank you. You know, I do, uh- I work out. 560 00:35:00,194 --> 00:35:02,059 - Really? - Uh, a good bit. 561 00:35:02,163 --> 00:35:04,961 - Yeah, you yoga or something? - I do- I do it all. I do yoga- 562 00:35:05,066 --> 00:35:07,091 - You flexible? - I'm pretty flexible. 563 00:35:07,201 --> 00:35:10,932 The thing is now you want to be sure when you do it though, to just- 564 00:35:11,038 --> 00:35:13,302 You gotta, uh- You gotta- 565 00:35:13,407 --> 00:35:16,934 What you don't want to do is get- You want to get the waist up. 566 00:35:17,044 --> 00:35:18,944 Oops. 567 00:35:19,046 --> 00:35:20,707 - Oh. - Excuse me. 568 00:35:20,815 --> 00:35:23,181 Whoo. Sorry about that. 569 00:35:23,284 --> 00:35:25,809 - All the spicy food up in here in Miami. - Occupational- 570 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,820 Occupational hazard. 571 00:35:38,099 --> 00:35:39,999 Okay, okay, what have we got? 572 00:35:49,710 --> 00:35:51,905 C- C- C- 573 00:35:52,013 --> 00:35:53,913 "Calmat�." 574 00:36:02,390 --> 00:36:04,415 I noticed. 575 00:36:04,525 --> 00:36:06,686 Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs. 576 00:36:08,396 --> 00:36:10,296 All right. Yeah. 577 00:36:10,398 --> 00:36:12,923 Uh- 578 00:36:17,471 --> 00:36:20,235 We gotta clear this beach. We gotta clear it now. I want good ideas. 579 00:36:20,341 --> 00:36:23,435 Let's go. Boom. What do we got? Williams. 580 00:36:27,381 --> 00:36:29,849 - You want me to come back to you? - Come back to me. 581 00:36:29,950 --> 00:36:32,475 - Come back to you. Trudy Wiegel. - I have an idea, Jim. 582 00:36:32,586 --> 00:36:34,781 - Yeah? - What about a telephone... 583 00:36:34,889 --> 00:36:37,517 that you can actually smell through? 584 00:36:37,625 --> 00:36:39,889 Uh, whale-related. Whale-related. Clearing the beach ideas. 585 00:36:39,994 --> 00:36:41,894 - Not in- Not inventions. - I have nothing. 586 00:36:41,996 --> 00:36:45,193 - Jim, if you think about it- - Who gave-Who gave topless a gun? 587 00:36:45,299 --> 00:36:48,097 - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - Oh, no. No. Get down. Get down. 588 00:36:48,202 --> 00:36:53,401 Okay, people, this is how we're gonna do it. Ready? 589 00:36:53,507 --> 00:36:57,739 Here is our-What kind of whale do we think that is? 590 00:36:57,845 --> 00:36:59,745 - Uh, sperm? - Big one? 591 00:36:59,847 --> 00:37:01,906 - Black whale. - A narwhal. A narwhal. 592 00:37:02,016 --> 00:37:04,177 - Here's what- Here's what we're gonna do. - Face the- 593 00:37:04,285 --> 00:37:09,086 We are, per Travis- per Travis and Trudy both- 594 00:37:09,190 --> 00:37:11,090 - What'd I do? - What we're gonna do is- 595 00:37:11,192 --> 00:37:13,490 - Stick your butt in the air. - we are going to- 596 00:37:13,594 --> 00:37:18,258 - You put your feet on it like that and then I'll help you. - get a rather large chainsaw- 597 00:37:18,365 --> 00:37:21,823 - Jonesy! Jonesy! - We are going to make sushi cuts. 598 00:37:21,936 --> 00:37:26,305 - Which is the hand-cut sushi and which is-when they roll- - Inside out roll. 599 00:37:26,407 --> 00:37:28,398 We're gonna make some crosscuts, crosscuts, crosscuts. 600 00:37:28,509 --> 00:37:33,412 - l- I like California roll. - Okay, we'll then roll each individual piece into a channel... 601 00:37:33,514 --> 00:37:36,506 which we dig here to the ocean, per Travis. 602 00:37:36,617 --> 00:37:39,711 - This is a channel to the ocean. - We're gonna chainsaw the damn thing? 603 00:37:39,820 --> 00:37:43,119 - Yeah, into little sus- Which one's the hand-cut rolls? - No one's paying attention. 604 00:37:43,224 --> 00:37:45,317 I have no idea what you're talking about. 605 00:37:45,426 --> 00:37:47,986 Let's try and get it. It's only 15, 20 feet. How hard could it be? 606 00:37:48,095 --> 00:37:50,859 In... five, six, seven, eight. 607 00:37:50,965 --> 00:37:52,865 And- 608 00:37:52,967 --> 00:37:56,164 Do it! It's goin'! She's movin'! 609 00:37:56,270 --> 00:37:58,602 - It's movin'! - I can feel it! 610 00:38:05,279 --> 00:38:08,715 Five, four, three. Hut! 611 00:38:08,816 --> 00:38:10,716 Go, Jonesy! Go! 612 00:38:10,818 --> 00:38:12,479 - Oh! - Oh. Oh. 613 00:38:12,586 --> 00:38:14,486 Okay, ready, people, on my count. 614 00:38:14,588 --> 00:38:18,115 One, two, three! 615 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,660 Oh! Oh! Wait! 616 00:38:21,762 --> 00:38:23,855 Wait! 617 00:38:28,002 --> 00:38:29,731 Get a Wet-Nap, people! 618 00:38:29,837 --> 00:38:33,329 Good God! We got a officer down. We need a Wet-Nap! 619 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:39,140 So, when the chips are down and it's fourth and, uh- 620 00:38:39,246 --> 00:38:41,146 - uh, fourth and, uh- - Goal. 621 00:38:41,248 --> 00:38:43,842 Goal. Who can you count on? LieutenantJimbo. 622 00:38:43,951 --> 00:38:48,411 And... his associates. 623 00:38:48,522 --> 00:38:51,320 Who shall remain nameless. There's too many of them to name at once. 624 00:38:51,425 --> 00:38:54,223 - Trudy! Give me a "T." - No, we- they shall remain nameless. 625 00:38:54,328 --> 00:38:56,558 His associates. Anyway, all right, here we go. You ready, peeps? 626 00:38:56,664 --> 00:38:59,462 - Yeah. - Let's do it to it. 627 00:38:59,567 --> 00:39:02,468 And- un, deux, trois. 628 00:39:04,104 --> 00:39:06,038 Whoa! 629 00:39:08,008 --> 00:39:11,000 - Go team! Go team! Aaah! - Ew! Ew! Ew! 630 00:39:11,111 --> 00:39:12,976 Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! 631 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,208 Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! 632 00:39:16,317 --> 00:39:18,308 [Jeff You blew up a wha- 633 00:39:18,419 --> 00:39:21,411 You blew up a whale on- on our- our beaches! 634 00:39:21,522 --> 00:39:27,119 There are people screaming at me now... 635 00:39:27,228 --> 00:39:31,358 because you guys have been screwing everything up! 636 00:39:31,465 --> 00:39:33,524 You bunch of jerk heads! 637 00:39:33,634 --> 00:39:36,569 P. Diddy's boat is all covered in whale. 638 00:39:36,670 --> 00:39:40,003 And then Shaq's boat, a piece of... whale- 639 00:39:40,107 --> 00:39:42,940 - Don't touch me! - Sorry, I was just- 640 00:39:43,043 --> 00:39:47,776 Now, you people-you have to start acting like this is a crisis! 641 00:39:48,883 --> 00:39:51,579 And you have to get your stuff together! 642 00:39:51,685 --> 00:39:54,620 You need to strap it down! 643 00:39:54,722 --> 00:39:57,589 And get it together! 644 00:39:57,691 --> 00:40:00,683 Now, I'm gonna go and listen on my phone... 645 00:40:00,794 --> 00:40:02,694 to get yelled at some more! 646 00:40:02,796 --> 00:40:04,696 So thanks! 647 00:40:08,102 --> 00:40:10,070 - Sorry. - Bye, Jeff. 648 00:40:10,170 --> 00:40:14,436 Okay, guys, nojoke. You heard littleJeff. 649 00:40:14,541 --> 00:40:17,305 We have got to strap it down. 650 00:40:17,411 --> 00:40:19,470 - Okay? - What does that mean? 651 00:40:19,580 --> 00:40:22,174 I have no idea. But you- He said it specifically. 652 00:40:22,283 --> 00:40:25,081 I think it means we've got to do better. 653 00:40:32,059 --> 00:40:33,959 What the fuck, man? 654 00:40:34,061 --> 00:40:36,154 - That's what the siren's for. - You gotta signal. 655 00:40:36,263 --> 00:40:38,254 - You're supposed to signal! - Use your signal, fuck head! 656 00:40:38,365 --> 00:40:39,832 Fuckin'deaf, dude. 657 00:40:47,574 --> 00:40:50,008 We are on a highly classified mission... 658 00:40:50,110 --> 00:40:54,444 from Homeland Security delivering vital materials to Captain Rogers. 659 00:40:54,548 --> 00:40:57,016 E.T.A., 1.5 seconds. 660 00:40:58,619 --> 00:41:00,951 - Whoa. Made it. - What have we got? 661 00:41:01,055 --> 00:41:03,683 - Coffee, sir. - Here you go. Nice and hot. 662 00:41:03,791 --> 00:41:07,386 I asked you for coffee. I didn't say to make a national emergency out of it. 663 00:41:07,494 --> 00:41:10,463 We still haven't found an antidote. 664 00:41:10,564 --> 00:41:15,365 In 24 hours, I'm gonna have over 2,000 dead law enforcement officers. 665 00:41:15,469 --> 00:41:18,529 Not like you. Real cops. 666 00:41:18,639 --> 00:41:20,539 If you fuck with me one more time... 667 00:41:20,641 --> 00:41:22,541 I'm gonna fill up a tube sock with oranges. 668 00:41:22,643 --> 00:41:26,443 I'm gonna beat you till I juice 'em. Then I'm gonna drink that juice in front of you. 669 00:41:26,547 --> 00:41:29,573 And you're gonna beg me, "Why? Why? Why?" But I won't answer that question. 670 00:41:29,683 --> 00:41:32,675 'Cause you'll know it- so you'll get your heads out of your asses! 671 00:41:32,786 --> 00:41:34,651 - Get outta here. Go. - Now. 672 00:41:34,755 --> 00:41:36,416 Louis, coffee. 673 00:41:36,523 --> 00:41:39,390 - What are we doin'? - I don't know. We tried to do somethin' right. 674 00:41:39,493 --> 00:41:41,518 Right? We give the guy- Guy wants coffee. 675 00:41:44,298 --> 00:41:46,266 Aaah! Why? 676 00:41:58,746 --> 00:42:00,976 - Oh, shit! - Come on, man! 677 00:42:01,081 --> 00:42:02,514 - Dang! - Goddamn it. 678 00:42:02,616 --> 00:42:04,880 You guys are pretty smart, huh? 679 00:42:04,985 --> 00:42:06,247 - No. - No, we're not. 680 00:42:06,353 --> 00:42:08,878 No, you keep saying that. No, we're not. We're not smart. 681 00:42:12,393 --> 00:42:14,691 What? Ricky, what are you doing? 682 00:42:14,795 --> 00:42:17,491 - Why you take one of my own, huh? - We don't know this man. 683 00:42:17,598 --> 00:42:21,796 Why you work against me? Why the three of you and Mr. Big work against me? 684 00:42:21,902 --> 00:42:23,961 No, we don't- we don't know him. 685 00:42:24,071 --> 00:42:26,471 - I've never seen those men in my life. - I've never seen him! 686 00:42:26,573 --> 00:42:28,803 - We didn't take him. We don't know him. - Watch this. 687 00:42:28,909 --> 00:42:32,845 - Why... are you doing this? - You're gonna light somebody up on your own fuckin' boat? 688 00:42:32,946 --> 00:42:34,937 That's really, really bright. 689 00:42:35,049 --> 00:42:38,143 You came to my daughter's birthday party! 690 00:42:38,252 --> 00:42:41,016 Bad decision. Guys! 691 00:42:41,121 --> 00:42:43,248 You wore a hat on her birthday party! 692 00:42:43,357 --> 00:42:45,757 Light this piece of"chit" up. 693 00:42:45,859 --> 00:42:49,454 Don't light this chicken! Don't light this chicken! 694 00:42:49,563 --> 00:42:51,087 Come on. Leave him alone. 695 00:42:51,198 --> 00:42:55,134 - I said piece of"chit," not chicken. - I'll see you on the other side! 696 00:42:55,235 --> 00:42:58,398 Oh, God. Oh, shit. 697 00:42:59,907 --> 00:43:02,501 - Watch the hat. - Oh, my God! 698 00:43:11,819 --> 00:43:13,753 Oh, my. 699 00:43:13,854 --> 00:43:16,015 Sheriff's department. 700 00:43:16,123 --> 00:43:18,614 I need to know if you've seen me before... 701 00:43:18,725 --> 00:43:21,819 and if I got this done at this establishment. 702 00:43:21,929 --> 00:43:23,829 No, ma'am. 703 00:43:23,931 --> 00:43:26,126 - Show me the other side. - No. 704 00:43:26,233 --> 00:43:29,794 - No, it looks-They're twins. - You got anything down there? 705 00:43:29,903 --> 00:43:32,394 Actually, I have nothing down there. 706 00:43:32,506 --> 00:43:35,270 - Just like a Barbie. - Hey, hey, hey. 707 00:43:58,866 --> 00:44:01,164 Ow! 708 00:44:01,268 --> 00:44:03,498 Ow! 709 00:44:03,604 --> 00:44:05,538 Ow! 710 00:44:05,639 --> 00:44:09,131 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh- 711 00:44:09,309 --> 00:44:11,573 We have received a noise complaint... 712 00:44:11,678 --> 00:44:14,146 at the residence of someone named Suge Knight? 713 00:44:14,248 --> 00:44:16,876 - 4211. Here we go. - Suge Knight. 714 00:44:16,984 --> 00:44:19,316 This is a house, huh? 715 00:44:21,655 --> 00:44:24,146 Mr. Suge Knight? 716 00:44:24,258 --> 00:44:27,386 - Sheriff's department! - Sheriff's department! 717 00:44:27,494 --> 00:44:29,689 Mr. Suge Knight! 718 00:44:37,070 --> 00:44:40,528 - Shit. - Hi. Hi. Hi. 719 00:44:40,641 --> 00:44:44,475 Uh, we're gonna need to find Mr. Suge Knight. 720 00:44:44,578 --> 00:44:47,638 We're gonna need to get the music turned down, okay? 721 00:44:47,748 --> 00:44:50,911 Uh, ex-excuse me. Uh, d-do you know a Mr. Suge Knight? 722 00:44:51,018 --> 00:44:52,485 "Soog" Knight. Suge- 723 00:44:52,586 --> 00:44:55,783 Are you Suge? Are you Suge? 724 00:44:55,889 --> 00:44:59,484 Are you Jay-Z? Are you any of'em? 725 00:45:00,894 --> 00:45:03,260 - I don't think so. - Uh, it's his birthday. 726 00:45:03,363 --> 00:45:05,456 - It's Suge Knight's birthday? - Suge Knight's birthday. 727 00:45:05,566 --> 00:45:08,967 Hey, when are they doing the cake for Suge? Does anybody know? 728 00:45:09,069 --> 00:45:10,969 Okay, I am standing right here! 729 00:45:11,071 --> 00:45:13,733 I am using my outside voice, and I am very angry right now! 730 00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,933 I want the music turned off right now! 731 00:45:16,043 --> 00:45:17,943 I am so serious, it's not even funny! 732 00:45:18,045 --> 00:45:20,275 The music goes off right now! 733 00:45:27,621 --> 00:45:29,816 And now that I have your attention... 734 00:45:33,227 --> 00:45:36,628 we have a special message for the birthday boy... 735 00:45:39,399 --> 00:45:42,095 from Miami's... 736 00:45:42,202 --> 00:45:45,137 number one strip-o-grams. 737 00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,139 That's right, birthday boy. 738 00:46:06,860 --> 00:46:09,124 That's right. 739 00:46:39,926 --> 00:46:42,156 Listen. 740 00:46:42,262 --> 00:46:44,355 What? 741 00:46:44,464 --> 00:46:47,797 No phones. No 911 calls. 742 00:46:47,901 --> 00:46:50,131 - All right. - It's a city under control, people. 743 00:46:50,237 --> 00:46:53,570 - Wow. - Reno S.D. 744 00:46:53,674 --> 00:46:57,166 Reno S.D. All right, okay. Okay. 745 00:46:59,246 --> 00:47:01,646 - It's 0200 hours right now. - Mm-hmm. 746 00:47:01,748 --> 00:47:04,740 I don't think we're any good to this city unless we get some rest, okay? 747 00:47:04,851 --> 00:47:07,217 Let's take a- like a hour and a half. 748 00:47:07,321 --> 00:47:09,687 We'll regroup here at 0330, okay? 749 00:47:09,790 --> 00:47:13,556 Get some rest. That is an order. 750 00:47:20,300 --> 00:47:23,269 'Cause it's dirty! Yeah! 751 00:47:37,517 --> 00:47:40,850 You need me to hold your drink for you? It's all right. She's good. 752 00:47:45,559 --> 00:47:48,255 Oh! What! 753 00:47:49,996 --> 00:47:51,987 In this corner, we got our undefeated champ... 754 00:47:52,099 --> 00:47:56,593 and in this corner, we got some old, weird uncle of somebody's and shit. 755 00:47:56,703 --> 00:47:58,568 Yo, man, you need to bring it. 756 00:47:58,672 --> 00:48:01,641 Come on. You scared? 757 00:48:01,742 --> 00:48:04,575 - Ohh! - Need security. 758 00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:28,825 Hey, there, Jim. 759 00:48:33,473 --> 00:48:35,532 What do you say? 760 00:48:37,544 --> 00:48:39,535 Trudy, don't cry. 761 00:48:39,646 --> 00:48:41,739 - Oh, God, I'm so humiliated. - Okay. Oh, God. 762 00:48:41,848 --> 00:48:44,043 Trudy. Trudy, please don't cry. 763 00:48:44,151 --> 00:48:46,051 Jim, I was just hoping that maybe one time... 764 00:48:46,153 --> 00:48:49,145 - you and I could just sort of hold each other and- - I know. I know. 765 00:48:49,256 --> 00:48:51,190 Trudy, you know I'm playing for Visitor, okay? 766 00:48:51,291 --> 00:48:53,350 - Mm-hmm. l- I had a hunch. - You had a hunch? 767 00:48:53,460 --> 00:48:55,758 - Yeah. - Did you? 768 00:48:58,665 --> 00:49:01,259 Jim, would you just give me a pity fuck? 769 00:49:25,225 --> 00:49:27,125 I thought that would break. 770 00:49:27,227 --> 00:49:29,127 Okay, here we go. 771 00:49:40,173 --> 00:49:42,073 Okay. 772 00:50:55,849 --> 00:50:59,250 - What the fuck? What the fuck? There's someone filming us! 773 00:50:59,352 --> 00:51:01,752 - Ow! Ow! Jim. Ow. Ow. - What? I know. 774 00:51:01,855 --> 00:51:03,755 - It's caught. - You're caught on one of my pubes. 775 00:51:03,857 --> 00:51:06,121 - My watch. My watch is caught on your pube. - Ooh. Jim. Ow! 776 00:51:06,226 --> 00:51:08,160 - Don't yank it. - Well, that's what we get for tryin'. 777 00:51:08,261 --> 00:51:10,161 Don't jiggle. Please don't- Ow! 778 00:51:10,263 --> 00:51:13,130 I'm trying to get it. Goddamn it! If you'd hold still, I'd get it loose. 779 00:51:13,233 --> 00:51:15,701 - You're caught on a pube. - I said this was a bad idea. 780 00:51:15,802 --> 00:51:18,464 Well, I'm sorry! This wasn't my idea to begin with. 781 00:51:18,572 --> 00:51:20,597 Meanwhile, my watch is caught in your pubes. And I'm sorry. 782 00:51:20,707 --> 00:51:22,470 - Okay, let's do it like a Band-Aid. - Ready? 783 00:51:22,576 --> 00:51:24,100 - Okay. - One- 784 00:51:24,210 --> 00:51:26,678 Okay, hold on. Hold on. Now I'm anticipating. 785 00:51:32,786 --> 00:51:36,051 How did the 911 switchboard come unplugged? 786 00:51:36,156 --> 00:51:38,818 Because we had to unplug it to plug in the popcorn maker. 787 00:51:38,925 --> 00:51:40,825 Don't yell- Don't yell back at me. 788 00:51:40,927 --> 00:51:43,657 I'm not- in no mood for my own tone of voice, okay? 789 00:51:43,763 --> 00:51:46,425 Sorry. Jim, we got a lot of missed calls here. 790 00:51:46,533 --> 00:51:50,230 - Ooh, you guys. - What? 791 00:51:50,337 --> 00:51:56,207 There's a domestic dispute on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's boat. 792 00:51:56,309 --> 00:51:58,573 No, it's not. 793 00:51:58,678 --> 00:52:00,543 Easy. Got it. Easy, easy. That's an easy one. 794 00:52:00,647 --> 00:52:02,274 Done. Done, done, done. Let's move. 795 00:52:07,287 --> 00:52:09,619 What the fuck, man? 796 00:52:09,723 --> 00:52:12,089 - Mr. and Mrs. Pitt! - Sheriff's department! 797 00:52:12,192 --> 00:52:13,454 - Sheriff's department! - Sheriff's department! 798 00:52:15,562 --> 00:52:17,655 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 799 00:52:17,764 --> 00:52:21,097 - Okay. Okay, my- - Okay, okay, okay, okay. 800 00:52:21,201 --> 00:52:23,169 I am so tired of you Renos. 801 00:52:23,269 --> 00:52:25,464 I'm sorry this is the end of the road for you. 802 00:52:25,572 --> 00:52:27,631 But you see, I created this Brangelina trap... 803 00:52:27,741 --> 00:52:30,107 because you are the last thing standing in my way. 804 00:52:30,210 --> 00:52:32,110 Between what and what? 805 00:52:32,212 --> 00:52:34,146 Between running this town. 806 00:52:36,082 --> 00:52:38,846 Freeze, you fuckin' little monkey! 807 00:52:38,952 --> 00:52:41,978 F.B.I. Nobody move. 808 00:52:42,088 --> 00:52:43,988 Are you kidding me? 809 00:52:44,090 --> 00:52:46,558 F.B.I., you know- Catch it. Yeah, you said. 810 00:52:46,660 --> 00:52:48,651 Get down. That's it. 811 00:52:48,762 --> 00:52:51,526 - Hey! Hey! Hey! - Hold me! Hold me! 812 00:52:51,631 --> 00:52:55,863 - That's it. Let's go. You stay right where you are. - We're not movin'. 813 00:52:55,969 --> 00:52:59,200 Go, you flies in the ointment! 814 00:52:59,305 --> 00:53:01,205 Get him! Get him! 815 00:53:01,307 --> 00:53:04,037 F.B.I., you broke my heart! 816 00:53:04,144 --> 00:53:06,510 You broke my heart! 817 00:53:06,613 --> 00:53:08,205 Oh, shit. 818 00:53:08,314 --> 00:53:10,214 Hold your fire! 819 00:53:10,316 --> 00:53:12,079 - Hold your fire! - That's good. I'm out. 820 00:53:12,185 --> 00:53:15,712 - Yeah, me too. - He is gonna lead us to Mr. Big. 821 00:53:15,822 --> 00:53:18,689 - He has the antidote for the bioattack. - For the convention center. 822 00:53:18,792 --> 00:53:20,692 - You're undercover F.B.I. - Just fucking amazing. 823 00:53:20,794 --> 00:53:22,694 - She earned it. - Yeah, I am. It's amazing. 824 00:53:22,796 --> 00:53:24,457 - You got a little bit- - Do l-Yeah. 825 00:53:24,564 --> 00:53:27,965 - On both sides. - Oh, do I? It's all right, 'cause I'm gonna keep doin' it. 826 00:53:28,068 --> 00:53:31,367 This whole goddamn thing is busted wide open, Jeff. Busted open like a $2.00 pi�ata. 827 00:53:31,471 --> 00:53:34,065 The F.B.I. has had a mole in with this drug jefe for months. 828 00:53:34,174 --> 00:53:36,734 She knows everything. She knows names. She knows dates. She knows places. 829 00:53:36,843 --> 00:53:39,903 She can connect the drug jefe to the bioattack. 830 00:53:40,013 --> 00:53:42,277 She can connect the bioattack to this Mr. Big. 831 00:53:42,382 --> 00:53:45,818 She can connect Mr. Big, the bioattack and the drug jefe to the antidote. 832 00:53:45,919 --> 00:53:48,979 We get to Mr. Big, all of these cops are fine. This bird is gonna sing. 833 00:53:49,089 --> 00:53:52,820 - She's gonna sing like a little bird. - Where-And where is she? 834 00:53:52,926 --> 00:53:56,191 It's a 23-delta-one, sir. Massive cocaine overdose. 835 00:54:08,875 --> 00:54:10,775 You're fired. 836 00:54:10,877 --> 00:54:12,777 All of you. 837 00:54:12,879 --> 00:54:15,473 Um, hand in your badges. 838 00:54:15,582 --> 00:54:17,379 Out of Miami. 839 00:54:17,484 --> 00:54:19,349 - I'm sorry, Jeff. - Just don't say you're sorry. 840 00:54:19,452 --> 00:54:20,646 - Okay. - I'm sorry, Jeff. 841 00:54:20,754 --> 00:54:23,848 Don't- S- Don't say that you're- 842 00:54:23,957 --> 00:54:25,925 - Our bad. - I have to apologize. 843 00:54:26,025 --> 00:54:27,492 Don't say anything. 844 00:54:27,594 --> 00:54:29,892 - We suck. - No, j- 845 00:54:29,996 --> 00:54:31,930 - I am really sorry, you know. - Don't sa- I s- 846 00:54:32,031 --> 00:54:35,000 - You know. You know how shit goes d- - No, l-Just go. 847 00:54:35,101 --> 00:54:36,591 - Sorry. - Go. Go. 848 00:54:39,773 --> 00:54:43,675 I have some regrets. I, uh- 849 00:54:43,777 --> 00:54:46,177 It may seem dumb... 850 00:54:46,279 --> 00:54:49,077 but they had one of those six-person bicycles. 851 00:54:52,786 --> 00:54:55,050 We never got to ride it. 852 00:54:55,155 --> 00:54:58,522 Yeah, might as well take this and- 853 00:55:01,528 --> 00:55:03,894 "Miami's only 24-hour tattoo parlor. 854 00:55:03,997 --> 00:55:06,158 "Ron's Discount Tattoo. No waiting. 855 00:55:06,266 --> 00:55:08,496 Hepatitis free." Oh, my God! I think this is it. 856 00:55:13,173 --> 00:55:15,107 Sheriff's department. 857 00:55:15,208 --> 00:55:17,108 - Ron, I'm looking for Ron. - Hello. 858 00:55:17,210 --> 00:55:18,700 - Ron. - Hello. 859 00:55:18,812 --> 00:55:21,508 - Buddy. - Yeah? 860 00:55:21,614 --> 00:55:24,981 Do you remember me at all? Please say yes. 861 00:55:25,084 --> 00:55:28,485 Oh, hey, I don't recognize the face, but I certainly recognize the cleavage. 862 00:55:28,588 --> 00:55:31,113 How are you, Clem? We didn't know you was fuzz. 863 00:55:31,224 --> 00:55:33,158 - You remember Paul, right? - Hiya. Yeah, hi. 864 00:55:33,259 --> 00:55:35,159 - How you doin'? - Nice to see you. 865 00:55:35,261 --> 00:55:37,752 Please, l- I am in- I'm in hell here. 866 00:55:37,864 --> 00:55:40,162 - Who is this? - Oh, that came out real clean. 867 00:55:40,266 --> 00:55:43,997 - That's good work, Ron. - That is a tight tit tat. 868 00:55:44,103 --> 00:55:46,594 Thanks. Help me out. 869 00:55:46,706 --> 00:55:49,971 - All right. Well- - Who is it? 870 00:55:50,076 --> 00:55:53,341 Okay, well, you come in with this guy. He was an older guy. 871 00:55:53,446 --> 00:55:56,904 Looked to me like- I don't know- he was homeless. Wouldn't you say, Paul? 872 00:55:57,016 --> 00:55:58,916 Yep. Hobo. 873 00:56:00,286 --> 00:56:03,084 And you got his face tattooed right there on your tit. 874 00:56:07,794 --> 00:56:09,728 So- 875 00:56:13,032 --> 00:56:17,799 - What you're sayin' is I wandered in here- - Stumbled. 876 00:56:17,904 --> 00:56:22,000 Stumbled in here... with a vagrant. 877 00:56:23,409 --> 00:56:25,434 More or less. Yeah. 878 00:56:25,545 --> 00:56:27,513 And I... 879 00:56:28,715 --> 00:56:31,513 defaced my chest- 880 00:56:31,618 --> 00:56:34,280 No, you- y- you faced your chest. 881 00:56:34,387 --> 00:56:36,446 If you want, we could cover that up. 882 00:56:36,556 --> 00:56:38,922 I could make a unicorn out of that. 883 00:56:39,025 --> 00:56:42,085 Freehand. I do everything freehand. 884 00:56:42,195 --> 00:56:45,528 We screwed up pretty good. 885 00:56:45,632 --> 00:56:48,396 We letJeff the acting mayor down. 886 00:56:48,501 --> 00:56:51,334 But we're big enough... 887 00:56:51,437 --> 00:56:54,133 to admit when we made a mistake. 888 00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:58,768 And... we're smart enough to fix it. 889 00:56:58,878 --> 00:57:00,869 We're gonna make it up toJeff. 890 00:57:00,980 --> 00:57:02,880 And how are we gonna make it up toJeff? 891 00:57:02,982 --> 00:57:05,917 The best way we know how, that's how. 892 00:57:06,019 --> 00:57:09,511 Ice cream cake! 893 00:57:13,693 --> 00:57:16,253 Coming! 894 00:57:16,362 --> 00:57:18,523 - Here I come! - She's coming. 895 00:57:18,631 --> 00:57:20,929 - I'm almost there! - She's almost here. 896 00:57:21,034 --> 00:57:23,696 All right, who's he- 897 00:57:23,803 --> 00:57:27,295 - Oh! Hello! Look at all of you. - Hey. 898 00:57:27,407 --> 00:57:29,568 How many? Trick or treat. 899 00:57:29,676 --> 00:57:31,871 - Yeah, is that what you want? - Well, no, we came- 900 00:57:31,978 --> 00:57:34,310 - Is Jeff around? - Yeah. Yeah. He's cleaning his room. 901 00:57:34,414 --> 00:57:36,314 - Oh. - So disappointed in that boy. 902 00:57:36,416 --> 00:57:38,316 - Yeah, he's- he's- - Oh, God, it's a mess. 903 00:57:38,418 --> 00:57:40,648 - Yeah. What do you want? - Well, he's kinda disappointed in us... 904 00:57:40,753 --> 00:57:42,914 so we brought him a ice cream cake. 905 00:57:43,022 --> 00:57:44,990 Oh, my God! Ice cream cake! 906 00:57:45,091 --> 00:57:46,991 Oh, she loves ice cream. Oh, my God! 907 00:57:47,093 --> 00:57:50,494 - Chocolate chip? - No, just vanilla. It's just a vanilla. 908 00:57:50,596 --> 00:57:52,530 All right, come on in. 909 00:57:52,632 --> 00:57:54,156 - Jeff! - He's, uh, in his room there? 910 00:57:54,267 --> 00:57:57,202 - Careful of your shoes, please. - Watch out for your shoes. 911 00:57:57,303 --> 00:57:59,601 - Hey, Jeff. - Maybe this would be cheaper than baby laxative. 912 00:57:59,706 --> 00:58:01,606 Those pennies add up. 913 00:58:12,952 --> 00:58:15,512 Take a bow, Reno cops. 914 00:58:15,621 --> 00:58:20,024 - You- Good job. - Did you set me up, man? 'Cause if you did, man- 915 00:58:20,126 --> 00:58:22,026 What the hell are you even saying? 916 00:58:22,128 --> 00:58:24,187 How clear could I have made it? Leave no connection between us. 917 00:58:24,297 --> 00:58:27,494 - I don't leave nothing, man. I see these guys on the- - Don't leave nothin'. 918 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,194 Then we don't have to worry about them coming with a camera and- 919 00:58:30,303 --> 00:58:32,203 Oh, my God! Here they are! 920 00:58:32,305 --> 00:58:35,468 How did they figure out that we were gonna poison everyone... 921 00:58:35,575 --> 00:58:37,566 in the way of me being the mayor? 922 00:58:37,677 --> 00:58:42,137 And then you, with all of your drug contacts and distribution... 923 00:58:42,248 --> 00:58:44,273 was going to turn this state... 924 00:58:44,384 --> 00:58:49,117 into the biggest narco empire on planet Earth? 925 00:58:49,222 --> 00:58:52,191 - Well, they figuring it out now. - Well, obviously, yeah. 926 00:58:52,291 --> 00:58:54,589 Obviously, you guys put it all together. 927 00:58:54,694 --> 00:59:00,132 That's exactly right, Spoder. We figured it out. 928 00:59:00,233 --> 00:59:01,825 - Mm-hmm. - A-All of it. 929 00:59:01,934 --> 00:59:03,526 - Amen. - And- 930 00:59:03,636 --> 00:59:06,070 Could you go over the middle part again, what you were doing? 931 00:59:06,172 --> 00:59:08,834 Oh, I'd be- I'd be happy to repeat the middle part. 932 00:59:08,941 --> 00:59:10,408 - Okay. - Um, our plan was- 933 00:59:10,510 --> 00:59:13,104 - All right, everyone. Everyone. Everyone, get back! 934 00:59:13,212 --> 00:59:15,180 Get back! No, no, put that away! 935 00:59:15,281 --> 00:59:18,478 Close the case. Close the case. Close the case and give it to me. 936 00:59:18,584 --> 00:59:21,519 - Give me the antidote! Give me the antidote! - Give him the antidote! 937 00:59:21,621 --> 00:59:23,111 - Okay. - Sorry. 938 00:59:23,222 --> 00:59:25,087 - Hey, man. - You're on your own. 939 00:59:25,191 --> 00:59:27,091 - No, you know what you are, man? - What? 940 00:59:27,193 --> 00:59:29,286 I say, you know what you are? 941 00:59:29,395 --> 00:59:32,558 You're haza. You're haza, man. 942 00:59:32,665 --> 00:59:36,761 I've understood, like, every third word you've said to me the whole time I've known you. 943 00:59:36,869 --> 00:59:39,565 And you know what? I don't really care. 944 00:59:39,672 --> 00:59:42,368 'Cause all of you- 945 00:59:42,475 --> 00:59:44,841 get a load of Spoder! 946 00:59:44,944 --> 00:59:45,911 - Oh- - Whoa! 947 00:59:46,012 --> 00:59:48,071 Okay, okay. Okay. 948 00:59:50,116 --> 00:59:52,016 This isn't me. This isn't- 949 00:59:52,118 --> 00:59:54,143 - What happened to your accent? - Whoa. 950 00:59:54,253 --> 00:59:56,778 My name is Ethan. I live just outside of Denver. 951 00:59:56,889 --> 00:59:58,982 - Shut up! - Well, not anymore. No, I live here now. 952 00:59:59,092 --> 01:00:01,287 Originally, I'm from Fort Collins. 953 01:00:01,394 --> 01:00:04,124 I was dealing blow in Colorado, all right? 954 01:00:04,230 --> 01:00:07,097 Uh, but it was a- a fruitless thing to do- No one cared. 955 01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,100 It's hard to sell coke there. 956 01:00:09,202 --> 01:00:12,262 I don't know whether it's the elevation or just the way of life there. 957 01:00:12,371 --> 01:00:16,171 They're more interested in, uh, like, you know, mush- mushrooms and acid and stuff. 958 01:00:16,275 --> 01:00:19,642 - This was, uh- - Hey, there's the, uh- antidote- 959 01:00:19,745 --> 01:00:23,977 - Do you have more of that here or is it all with him? - No, he took all of it. 960 01:00:24,083 --> 01:00:27,575 - He has all of the antidote. - Oh, shit. We should wrap this up. 961 01:00:27,687 --> 01:00:29,985 Like I told you, I will give you anything you want. 962 01:00:30,089 --> 01:00:32,284 Uh, as long as I get immunity here. I don't care. 963 01:00:32,391 --> 01:00:34,689 - I'll rat that guy. - I think we can do that. That's cool. 964 01:00:34,794 --> 01:00:37,627 - I think we can do immunity, right? - That would be the greatest. 965 01:00:37,730 --> 01:00:39,630 - No immunity to bullets. - Oh, God! 966 01:00:39,732 --> 01:00:41,791 Oh, God! 967 01:00:47,173 --> 01:00:49,164 - Let's get him! - Oh, my God! Get him! Get him! 968 01:00:49,275 --> 01:00:51,175 - Go! Go! Go! Go! - Ow! Ow! Ow! 969 01:00:51,277 --> 01:00:53,177 Shit! She's stuck! She's stuck! 970 01:00:53,279 --> 01:00:55,179 - Push me! - Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 971 01:00:55,281 --> 01:00:57,181 Go the other way! Go the other way! 972 01:00:57,283 --> 01:00:59,308 Other way! Other way! Other way! Other way! Other way! 973 01:00:59,418 --> 01:01:01,318 - Go! Go! Go! - Hey, what's going on? 974 01:01:01,420 --> 01:01:03,820 - You stay right there, Mrs. Spoder. - Why are you going away now? 975 01:01:03,923 --> 01:01:06,585 - You're a material witness, Mrs. Spoder! - We're gonna come back for you. 976 01:01:06,692 --> 01:01:08,660 - Can somebody help me? - Spoder! 977 01:01:08,761 --> 01:01:10,956 - Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! - Drop it! Drop it right away, now! 978 01:01:11,063 --> 01:01:13,827 Oh, my God! Jesus! 979 01:01:13,933 --> 01:01:16,163 Hey! Hey! 980 01:01:16,269 --> 01:01:19,568 What the fuck? Did they- Did they run away? No running away! What the fuck? 981 01:01:19,739 --> 01:01:22,731 - Go! Come on! Go! Go! Go! - All right, you want a chase? 982 01:01:22,842 --> 01:01:24,742 He's goin'. 983 01:01:24,844 --> 01:01:26,971 - Oh, time out. - Hang on, Wiegel! 984 01:01:28,748 --> 01:01:30,648 Jeff! 985 01:01:30,750 --> 01:01:32,650 - Travis! - Give it up! 986 01:01:32,752 --> 01:01:34,652 - Junior, don't play God. - Travis! 987 01:01:34,754 --> 01:01:38,281 - Out of the way! Police pursuit! - Whoa! 988 01:01:38,391 --> 01:01:41,189 - You gotta- Son of a-Jesus! - Junior! Halt! 989 01:01:41,294 --> 01:01:43,558 - Whoa! - I got him! 990 01:01:43,663 --> 01:01:47,463 - Come on. Let's go for it! - Get out of the vehicle now! 991 01:01:47,567 --> 01:01:50,297 - Ohh! - Nice one. 992 01:01:50,403 --> 01:01:53,338 Why not? 993 01:01:53,439 --> 01:01:56,101 - Go to the left! - Miami cops! 994 01:01:56,209 --> 01:01:58,143 Ohh! Ohh! 995 01:01:58,244 --> 01:02:01,145 - Oh, my God! - Oh! Hey! 996 01:02:01,247 --> 01:02:03,112 Assholes! 997 01:02:03,216 --> 01:02:05,684 - Don't you dare! Don't you dare! - Uh-uh! Uh-uh! 998 01:02:05,785 --> 01:02:07,650 Hey! Hey! 999 01:02:07,753 --> 01:02:11,917 - Watch where you're shooting! Jesus Christ! - We're between you and him! 1000 01:02:13,826 --> 01:02:15,760 - He's gonna jump that bridge! - I know. I know. 1001 01:02:15,861 --> 01:02:19,262 - He's gonna do it! - I'm gonna jump it! 1002 01:02:19,365 --> 01:02:24,029 - Hammer of the gods! - He's gonna jump it. Shit! 1003 01:02:24,136 --> 01:02:27,264 - Whoa! - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 1004 01:02:27,373 --> 01:02:30,570 - Oh, that hurts. - Oh, my neck. 1005 01:02:30,676 --> 01:02:32,906 Everybody, hey, hands up! Hands up! 1006 01:02:33,012 --> 01:02:35,981 Get down! Get down! Get down! 1007 01:02:36,082 --> 01:02:38,073 - No, no, I mean- I mean, stand up! - Get down? 1008 01:02:38,184 --> 01:02:41,620 - No, don't get- I swear to God! - Tell us what you want us to do, Jeff! 1009 01:02:41,721 --> 01:02:44,554 Everyone, stand up and look at me! Stand up and look at me! 1010 01:02:44,657 --> 01:02:48,388 - Stand up and look at you. - Put your guns down, everyone! Kick 'em away! 1011 01:02:48,494 --> 01:02:50,394 - K-Kick your guns away. - Kick 'em away? 1012 01:02:50,496 --> 01:02:53,294 Don't walk after them! Kick them away from you and stay where you are! 1013 01:02:53,399 --> 01:02:55,629 - Kick them and step back? - Kick them away and step back! 1014 01:02:55,735 --> 01:02:57,726 - What are you doing? - I'm kicking them and stepping back. 1015 01:02:57,837 --> 01:03:00,032 Step back! 1016 01:03:00,139 --> 01:03:03,506 Guess what? I'm glad it came to this. 1017 01:03:03,609 --> 01:03:08,376 I'm glad that you douche-nozzles ruined my plan. 1018 01:03:08,481 --> 01:03:12,611 Because now I am drunk on unprecedentedness. 1019 01:03:12,718 --> 01:03:16,381 - And th- What, Dangle? - Unprecedentiality. 1020 01:03:16,489 --> 01:03:20,653 I will think of some-Stand up! 1021 01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,888 Final words. Johnson, go. 1022 01:03:23,996 --> 01:03:26,396 Um, um, uh, legalize it? 1023 01:03:26,499 --> 01:03:28,626 Great. Fine. Wiegel. 1024 01:03:28,734 --> 01:03:32,101 - Okay, when I was in the fourth grade- - Enough! 1025 01:03:32,204 --> 01:03:37,039 - Dangle, last words. - Uh, he, uh, uh, uh- he loved it. 1026 01:03:37,143 --> 01:03:39,077 - Great. - Shit! 1027 01:03:39,178 --> 01:03:41,305 - All right, no, that's your last words. - Jeff-Jeff, no, no! 1028 01:03:41,414 --> 01:03:43,644 - That's your last words. - That's not my last words! My last words- 1029 01:03:43,749 --> 01:03:47,116 - Here we go. Ready? - No, I think you should talk to him more! 1030 01:03:47,219 --> 01:03:51,747 Anybody call for backup? Yeah! 1031 01:03:51,857 --> 01:03:54,519 "El departmento de sheriff." 1032 01:03:54,627 --> 01:03:57,528 Die, you whirlybird motherfuckers! 1033 01:04:02,902 --> 01:04:05,063 No, I got it. Shit. Hold on. 1034 01:04:05,171 --> 01:04:07,696 Goddamn- No, I got it. Shit. Son of a bitch. 1035 01:04:12,845 --> 01:04:16,246 [Jeff I give up, whirlybird! I give up, whirlybird! 1036 01:04:16,349 --> 01:04:19,147 - Whoo! Ha, ha! - We did it! 1037 01:04:21,454 --> 01:04:26,153 I need the extender! 1038 01:04:26,258 --> 01:04:29,284 I need the- another set of cuffs. He's too chubby to fit 'em. 1039 01:04:29,395 --> 01:04:31,386 Yeah! 1040 01:04:35,868 --> 01:04:39,565 I'm not chubby. This is protective karate fat. 1041 01:04:39,672 --> 01:04:44,336 - Protective karate fat. You know what? - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 1042 01:04:44,443 --> 01:04:46,502 Tell it to the judge, Spoder. 1043 01:04:51,784 --> 01:04:55,618 Nice work, people. Nice work, indeed. 1044 01:04:55,721 --> 01:05:00,055 You know, I know we're probably not the smartest bunch of cops in the whole world. 1045 01:05:00,159 --> 01:05:02,286 Probably not the best trained. 1046 01:05:05,131 --> 01:05:07,759 Probably not the smartest bunch of cops in the whole world. 1047 01:05:07,867 --> 01:05:10,836 Individually, I don't think we look like much- 1048 01:05:10,936 --> 01:05:16,272 - a couple of colored people, some white folks, a lesbian. - Sir, I'm not- 1049 01:05:16,375 --> 01:05:19,833 But l- I think the important thing is- 1050 01:05:19,945 --> 01:05:22,937 Know what we are? Does anybody know what we are? 1051 01:05:23,048 --> 01:05:24,982 - A squad? - Gorgeous. 1052 01:05:25,084 --> 01:05:26,984 - Squad. Gorgeous. - People. 1053 01:05:27,086 --> 01:05:29,281 - People. All sort of right. - Broke. 1054 01:05:29,388 --> 01:05:31,151 - Rope? - Broke. 1055 01:05:31,257 --> 01:05:33,157 Broke. All pretty accurate. 1056 01:05:33,259 --> 01:05:34,851 - Heroes. - I thought you said rope. 1057 01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,952 Heroes- Can I fini- Okay, can I fuckin' finish the thing I was gonna say? 1058 01:05:41,333 --> 01:05:43,597 Shit! 1059 01:05:47,706 --> 01:05:50,368 That was my bad. 1060 01:05:50,476 --> 01:05:52,944 - Was that the oneJeff was in? - Yeah. 1061 01:05:55,915 --> 01:05:58,850 - Anybody- - Double-time. Double-time. 1062 01:05:58,951 --> 01:06:02,478 Double-time. Double-time. Trudy. Trudy, double-time. 1063 01:06:02,655 --> 01:06:05,988 If you were inside the convention center... 1064 01:06:06,091 --> 01:06:08,491 let's have you line up to be inoculated. 1065 01:06:08,594 --> 01:06:13,327 We have an antidote. We need everyone to line up now, please, in an orderly fashion. 1066 01:06:15,701 --> 01:06:18,602 Hi. 1067 01:06:18,704 --> 01:06:21,764 Look, you don't have to thank us. 1068 01:06:21,874 --> 01:06:23,933 I know. 1069 01:06:24,043 --> 01:06:27,171 You did your job. Barely. 1070 01:06:27,279 --> 01:06:29,474 So what? 1071 01:06:35,688 --> 01:06:39,180 Well, good ridd- riddance to you too. I mean- 1072 01:07:13,459 --> 01:07:16,292 These were literally right in front of me. 1073 01:07:16,395 --> 01:07:18,590 He's getting his badge. 1074 01:07:41,587 --> 01:07:43,987 - Heroes. - We did it. 1075 01:07:44,089 --> 01:07:46,489 Teamwork. Teamwork. Teamwork. Hands in. Hands in. 1076 01:07:46,592 --> 01:07:49,993 - That's my team. A teamwork team. - Reno! 1077 01:07:50,095 --> 01:07:52,086 Best sheriff's department in the world. 1078 01:07:52,197 --> 01:07:54,131 I bet we're gonna make the national real deal. 1079 01:07:54,233 --> 01:07:56,133 - We rock. - Dangle. Can I talk to you? 1080 01:07:56,235 --> 01:07:59,568 - You could- - Yeah. Sure. 1081 01:08:00,806 --> 01:08:03,934 You're something to behold when you are in action. 1082 01:08:05,544 --> 01:08:07,944 I'm impressed. 1083 01:08:08,047 --> 01:08:12,677 And I have been wrong about you. I want to make it right. 1084 01:08:12,785 --> 01:08:16,016 I want to invite you to the Aspen Sheriff's Department. 1085 01:08:17,456 --> 01:08:19,686 We'd like you to join us. 1086 01:08:31,103 --> 01:08:33,594 Sheriff Wagner... 1087 01:08:33,706 --> 01:08:37,642 the Reno Sheriff's Department isn't just my coworkers... 1088 01:08:38,844 --> 01:08:40,812 they're like my family. 1089 01:08:43,582 --> 01:08:46,551 But they're also... 1090 01:08:48,954 --> 01:08:53,584 the dumbest group of people I've ever met who weren't legally retarded. 1091 01:08:55,427 --> 01:08:57,418 So l- I would like a new family. 1092 01:08:57,529 --> 01:08:59,588 And I'd like that family to be you guys. 1093 01:08:59,698 --> 01:09:03,794 - You're awesome. Yes, I accept. Thank you very much. - Boys. 1094 01:09:03,902 --> 01:09:06,666 Guys, I'll see you! I'm going, uh, to Aspen. 1095 01:09:06,772 --> 01:09:08,672 - What? - Well, when are you gonna be back? 1096 01:09:08,774 --> 01:09:11,641 Uh, won't. Won't be back. I'm taking a job at the Aspen Sheriff's Department. 1097 01:09:11,744 --> 01:09:13,905 - What? - You're quittin'? 1098 01:09:14,013 --> 01:09:17,312 Yeah. I'm not quitting. No. I mean, well, I am. 1099 01:09:17,416 --> 01:09:19,247 Jim, you're just gonna leave me here? 1100 01:09:19,351 --> 01:09:22,343 - No, I'm gonna leave all of you here. - I love you. 1101 01:09:22,454 --> 01:09:25,082 - I know. I know. You've always loved me. It's fine. - Oh. 1102 01:09:25,190 --> 01:09:27,715 I'll see you guys. Where do you guys ski? 1103 01:09:27,826 --> 01:09:30,021 Do you guys ski Ajax or do you guys ski Snowmass? 1104 01:09:37,436 --> 01:09:40,200 - Hold mine too. - Sure was a good time. 1105 01:09:40,305 --> 01:09:42,466 - Oh, he's not holding your bag. - Whoo! 1106 01:09:42,574 --> 01:09:45,702 Hey, Terry. 1107 01:09:45,811 --> 01:09:49,269 - What are you doing here? - Terry was giving tug jobs on the East Coast out here. 1108 01:09:49,381 --> 01:09:51,281 He says he's out here recording his album. 1109 01:09:51,383 --> 01:09:53,817 I am recording my album. See, I have a violin. 1110 01:09:53,919 --> 01:09:57,787 - Mm-hmm. That's a ukulele, Terry. - Your mom's a ukulele, Terry. 1111 01:09:57,890 --> 01:10:00,882 We're getting on the bus and going back home. We're not in the mood for your high jinks. 1112 01:10:00,993 --> 01:10:03,860 I'm not taking the bus, 'cause it smells like farts. 1113 01:10:03,962 --> 01:10:07,898 I have my own jet, okay, that my dad bought me for Flag Day. 1114 01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:10,195 - I already told you that. - Terry, you gonna take your limo? 1115 01:10:10,302 --> 01:10:12,532 I'll take my limo. Yes, that's correct. 1116 01:10:12,638 --> 01:10:14,572 And my limo driver, Barry Baum. 1117 01:10:14,673 --> 01:10:17,437 - Your limo driver Barry Baum- - That's his name. Barry Baum. 1118 01:10:17,543 --> 01:10:20,307 - is gonna take you to your privatejet? - Here it is. Oh. 1119 01:10:20,412 --> 01:10:22,539 Hey, look at my "lim'." It just appeared. 1120 01:10:22,648 --> 01:10:26,482 - Hi, Barry Baum. - Sir. 1121 01:10:26,585 --> 01:10:30,021 - Sir, is your name, in fact, Barry Baum? - Thank you. 1122 01:10:30,122 --> 01:10:32,022 I'm Barry Baum, yes. 1123 01:10:32,124 --> 01:10:35,389 You guys want a ride or do you want to ride in the fartmobile? 1124 01:10:36,462 --> 01:10:38,760 - I got shotgun! - No, let's go. 1125 01:10:38,864 --> 01:10:40,832 - Yeah. - Let's go. 1126 01:10:42,868 --> 01:10:46,770 Whoo! Here it is! 1127 01:10:46,872 --> 01:10:48,840 - Super Terry Airlines. - Oh, my God. 1128 01:10:48,941 --> 01:10:52,570 - Come onboard. It's so fucking sweet. - Holy fuck! 1129 01:10:52,678 --> 01:10:55,647 - Ta-da! - Dad! 1130 01:10:55,748 --> 01:10:59,809 - Fuck You, Dad. - Fuck you, Dad. 1131 01:10:59,918 --> 01:11:03,149 Fuck you. 1132 01:11:03,255 --> 01:11:06,281 - Do you like the new album or what? - I love the new album. 1133 01:11:06,391 --> 01:11:10,020 - Listening party. Monaco. - Oh, sign me up. 1134 01:11:10,129 --> 01:11:13,792 - I like the hair. It's so Stamos. - Thank you. Thank you. Who's your friends? 1135 01:11:13,899 --> 01:11:16,390 These are my friends from Reno. They're the police officers. 1136 01:11:16,502 --> 01:11:18,561 Nice to meet you, sir. You have a wonderful son. 1137 01:11:18,670 --> 01:11:20,695 Oh, thank you. I know I got a wonderful son. 1138 01:11:20,806 --> 01:11:24,139 We've arrested him several times for giving blow jobs on the street corner. 1139 01:11:24,243 --> 01:11:27,406 - Quick impression. - That's you. 1140 01:11:27,513 --> 01:11:30,141 Is this, uh, really, uh, his jet up here? 1141 01:11:30,249 --> 01:11:33,446 This is his jet. I gave it to him as a gift for Flag Day, remember? 1142 01:11:33,552 --> 01:11:36,988 I do remember. Oh, that was a great Flag Day. Probably my best one. 1143 01:11:37,089 --> 01:11:39,250 - TheJacuzzi's on. - We can get a ride? 1144 01:11:39,358 --> 01:11:41,758 - Sure. - Thank you, sir. 1145 01:11:41,860 --> 01:11:45,057 - I didn't believe you. I'm sorry. - It's okay. I love you guys. 1146 01:11:45,164 --> 01:11:47,530 - Oh, my God! - Thank you, Terry. 1147 01:11:47,633 --> 01:11:50,295 - Oh, wow. - Whoo! 1148 01:11:50,402 --> 01:11:52,893 Whoo! 1149 01:11:55,741 --> 01:11:58,107 Um, as you know, we have, uh... 1150 01:11:58,210 --> 01:12:00,701 faced violence and danger on a daily basis... 1151 01:12:00,813 --> 01:12:03,077 throughout our career, uh, via weapons... 1152 01:12:03,182 --> 01:12:06,515 such as knives, shivs, forks, things like that. 1153 01:12:06,618 --> 01:12:09,382 The department wants us to be aware of something else. 1154 01:12:09,488 --> 01:12:11,547 They have issued us, uh... 1155 01:12:11,657 --> 01:12:16,060 a requirement to carry Handi sanitary wipes for the deadly fluids. 1156 01:12:18,197 --> 01:12:20,927 Hi, guys. 1157 01:12:24,970 --> 01:12:27,302 I'll take it from here. 1158 01:12:27,406 --> 01:12:30,136 Thank you. Thank you, guys. 1159 01:12:33,812 --> 01:12:36,474 I wanna- 1160 01:12:38,650 --> 01:12:41,414 I got out to Colorado... 1161 01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:44,648 and I went out, uh, and stood... 1162 01:12:44,756 --> 01:12:48,192 at the top of a mountain they- they call Ajax. 1163 01:12:48,293 --> 01:12:52,320 And I looked down the mountain, and I looked at all the runs. 1164 01:12:52,431 --> 01:12:57,368 And I could see the way that the runs intertwined. 1165 01:12:57,469 --> 01:13:00,302 - They found out you were a- - Yeah, they did. Mm-hmm. 1166 01:13:00,405 --> 01:13:03,306 Yeah. They got a zero tolerance on that one over there. 1167 01:13:04,610 --> 01:13:08,910 I just want to say I know that, um- 1168 01:13:09,014 --> 01:13:11,278 I know that you came back for me. 1169 01:13:11,383 --> 01:13:13,613 And I appreciate it. 1170 01:13:16,255 --> 01:13:18,416 - We'll talk later. - Okay. 1171 01:13:19,825 --> 01:13:21,725 - Sorry, gang. - It's okay. 1172 01:13:21,827 --> 01:13:27,595 No better way to show your affection than a quick... wiener cupping. 1173 01:13:29,301 --> 01:13:32,930 - Hey, Jim, you know what you missed while you weren't here? - What's that? 1174 01:13:33,038 --> 01:13:35,063 - Pajama Tuesdays. - Oh, sweet! 1175 01:13:35,173 --> 01:13:37,607 Which, uh, she was only one who really participated in. 1176 01:13:37,709 --> 01:13:42,510 And I think that she did not do it on purpose, but then tried to play it off as Pajama Tuesday. 1177 01:13:42,614 --> 01:13:44,582 Hey, gang! Amazing news. 1178 01:13:44,683 --> 01:13:50,315 Oh, my God. We have been invited to take part in Handcuffs Across the Water. 1179 01:13:50,422 --> 01:13:52,788 We're going to Scotland Yard! 1180 01:13:52,891 --> 01:13:56,190 Yes! 1181 01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:04,699 All week long I've been looking for this guy. 1182 01:14:04,803 --> 01:14:07,567 And he's on my boob, and he's on my boob forever, you know. 1183 01:14:07,673 --> 01:14:10,107 And I don't- I don't know who this is. 1184 01:14:10,208 --> 01:14:12,472 I don't know who this is, but damn it, Garcia... 1185 01:14:12,577 --> 01:14:16,741 - I just thought finally, you know, I can- - Yeah. Yeah. 1186 01:14:16,848 --> 01:14:20,113 - can come home to somebody. - My God, I had the same thing happen to me. l- 1187 01:14:21,219 --> 01:14:22,948 Right there. 1188 01:14:23,055 --> 01:14:26,047 - Kinda. - You got a tattoo. 1189 01:14:34,900 --> 01:14:37,960 - Please, go on the other side of the fence. You don't want- - On the other side of the fence? 1190 01:14:38,070 --> 01:14:41,403 I want to find out what your half lives like. Lulu! 1191 01:14:47,646 --> 01:14:49,170 - What are you doing? - Huh? 1192 01:14:49,281 --> 01:14:51,181 - What is that? - I'm giving you what you're asking for. 1193 01:14:51,283 --> 01:14:54,741 You wouldn't dare shoot me. And I'll prove it. 1194 01:14:54,853 --> 01:14:57,822 - Holy shit! - Okay, step out of the pool. 1195 01:14:57,923 --> 01:15:02,257 Look at you! Wow. 1196 01:15:02,361 --> 01:15:05,819 You are, uh, in high school. 1197 01:15:05,931 --> 01:15:09,628 Junior high. I'll be 14 next month. I missed seventh grade. 1198 01:15:09,735 --> 01:15:12,966 Hey! Fourteen! Next month! 1199 01:15:13,071 --> 01:15:16,507 - No, well, I'm a whole year older for my grade. - That's great. Good for you. 1200 01:15:16,608 --> 01:15:20,100 - How are you? - I'm running away from home. So fuck you and fuck Iowa. 1201 01:15:20,212 --> 01:15:23,238 - I'm leaving with my man. - She's not- She's not- She's not running away from home. 1202 01:15:23,348 --> 01:15:25,339 - Come on. Let's go. Let's go. - No, no, no, no! 1203 01:15:25,450 --> 01:15:27,577 - Come on. - Is it the uniform? Is it the uniform? 1204 01:15:27,686 --> 01:15:29,586 - I can take it off. - No, no, no, no. 1205 01:15:29,688 --> 01:15:31,679 - No! - I can take it off! No, I'll take it off! 1206 01:15:31,790 --> 01:15:33,951 Joe. Joe. Joe. We'll get in real trouble with this. 1207 01:15:34,059 --> 01:15:36,892 I'll be bad. Look, I'll be your naughty schoolgirl! 1208 01:15:36,995 --> 01:15:39,327 - No! No! - No! That's not really-That's not really funny... 1209 01:15:39,431 --> 01:15:41,831 - if you're actually still in school. - I have on really cute under- 1210 01:15:41,933 --> 01:15:43,833 - They're fuzzy hearts. - No, no, no! 1211 01:15:43,935 --> 01:15:47,632 - Touch my fuzzy hearts! No! - No, no, no! 1212 01:15:47,739 --> 01:15:49,639 No! 1213 01:15:49,741 --> 01:15:52,869 Very, very nice to meet you. You have a very good drive back to Iowa. 1214 01:15:52,978 --> 01:15:56,971 - No, no, no! - Why? 1215 01:15:57,082 --> 01:16:00,108 Call me when you're 16. 1216 01:16:00,218 --> 01:16:04,211 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Easy. Easy does it. 1217 01:16:04,322 --> 01:16:06,449 Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. 1218 01:16:06,558 --> 01:16:09,322 Tru. Tru. Easy. Easy. Easy. Wait. Okay. 1219 01:16:09,428 --> 01:16:11,419 I don't know. I saw this in the movies once. 1220 01:16:11,530 --> 01:16:14,966 - It doesn't go like this. - I don't think- I think I'm supposed to be where you are. 1221 01:16:15,067 --> 01:16:18,468 - Auf Wiedersehen. - Auf Wiedersehen. 1222 01:16:19,538 --> 01:16:21,438 - All right. - She speaks Dutch. 1223 01:16:21,540 --> 01:16:24,475 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Tell me the truth. 1224 01:16:24,576 --> 01:16:29,536 You are a lesbian, right? I ain't gonna tell nobody. 1225 01:16:29,648 --> 01:16:33,175 I don't know how many times or how many ways I have to say this. 1226 01:16:33,285 --> 01:16:35,310 I am not a lesbian. 1227 01:16:37,823 --> 01:16:40,621 I'm pretty sure she is. 1228 01:16:40,725 --> 01:16:43,785 Get back on your Commie fuckin' raft, and get the hell back to Cuba. 1229 01:16:43,895 --> 01:16:46,125 And you know what? Tell Castro we said, "Hey, what's up?" 1230 01:16:46,231 --> 01:16:47,493 Now! 1231 01:16:57,843 --> 01:16:59,743 You know you're going through X-ray, don't you? 1232 01:16:59,845 --> 01:17:01,836 How does it work? What the hell kind of a- 1233 01:17:01,947 --> 01:17:05,747 - Oh, see, it's like that. You put it in, and then you- - Don't- Don't do that. 1234 01:17:05,851 --> 01:17:08,445 - Okay. What's that for? - This gets the resin out, and then you- Here. 1235 01:17:08,553 --> 01:17:10,316 - You suck the resin off. Get high. - Don't, don't, don't- 1236 01:17:10,422 --> 01:17:12,982 But you can also do a shotgun- You can shotgun it too. 1237 01:17:13,091 --> 01:17:16,117 Well, wait, I can- No, you shotgun it off of here. You light the middle. 1238 01:17:16,228 --> 01:17:19,129 - And then you light it, and you go- - Oh, that's shotgunnin' it. 1239 01:17:19,231 --> 01:17:21,131 - Double bong. Double bong. - Please- Please don't do that. 1240 01:17:21,233 --> 01:17:23,997 - You suck on that. You suck on this end. - That end right there- 1241 01:17:24,102 --> 01:17:26,002 - And then you- - Okay, no- 1242 01:17:26,104 --> 01:17:30,268 - What does it do? - That is inserted in the anus... 1243 01:17:30,375 --> 01:17:35,813 and then you pull this to extract impacted fecal matter. 1244 01:17:38,917 --> 01:17:40,885 I'm a proctologist. 1245 01:17:48,093 --> 01:17:51,085 - That explains the- the taste of the old butt. - Yeah. 1246 01:21:44,129 --> 01:21:47,360 Check it out. 1247 01:21:50,402 --> 01:21:52,563 That one works. 1248 01:22:07,018 --> 01:22:09,316 - Is it workin'? It's stuck. - The bag's stuck in there? 1249 01:22:09,421 --> 01:22:12,515 - The bag's stuck. - Here, well, get it in- 1250 01:22:14,592 --> 01:22:17,117 - What's the radioactive symbol for? - Uh- 1251 01:22:17,228 --> 01:22:20,288 - Can you get it? - Wait. Okay, wait, push it this way. 1252 01:22:20,398 --> 01:22:22,298 - Push it which way? - Yeah. 1253 01:22:22,400 --> 01:22:24,834 - That way? - No, th- No, other way. Other way. Other way. 1254 01:22:24,936 --> 01:22:27,461 Please. Other way. Ow! Motherfucker! Goddamn it! 1255 01:22:27,572 --> 01:22:29,472 - Hang on. Hang on, I got it! - Ow! Ahh! 1256 01:22:29,574 --> 01:22:31,769 - Oh, don't! - I got it. I got it. I got it. 1257 01:22:31,876 --> 01:22:34,276 No, no, no, no! Jesus! Ohh! Ohh! 1258 01:22:34,379 --> 01:22:37,280 Please stop it. Please stop it. Ow! 1259 01:22:37,382 --> 01:22:39,282 Oh. Hey, okay, okay, okay! 1260 01:22:39,384 --> 01:22:42,012 - Oh, my God. - Please, don't move again. 1261 01:22:42,120 --> 01:22:44,486 - You never had your wisdom teeth out? - What do you mean? 1262 01:22:44,589 --> 01:22:47,456 - I think you might need your wisdom teeth out, bro. - What are wisdom teeth? 1263 01:22:49,060 --> 01:22:53,861 Is it goin'? Is it goin'? Do l- Do I talk now? Do I talk? 1264 01:22:53,965 --> 01:22:56,763 Do I look at you, or do I look into the thing? 1265 01:23:00,371 --> 01:23:03,363 You know, they told us just to act natural when the cameras are on... 1266 01:23:03,475 --> 01:23:06,933 but, uh, you know, you feel kinda like a- 1267 01:23:08,913 --> 01:23:12,747 Feel likeJeff Gordon or something with the camera on me all the time. 1268 01:23:12,851 --> 01:23:14,910 Wish I had something to say. 1269 01:23:16,654 --> 01:23:20,090 Do I look better like this- 10:00 and 12:00- or do I look better like this? 1270 01:23:20,191 --> 01:23:23,854 'Cause I could also- I could roll down a window and do, like- like this. 1271 01:23:24,996 --> 01:23:27,294 Shit! Fuck! Ow!