1 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,400 Grandma! 2 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,800 Who is it? 3 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,200 It's me, your grandson Recep Ivedik. 4 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,700 Password? 5 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:54,000 Password, uhh... The crops come up to my thigh, which is a little unfortunate for me... 6 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,200 ...since I'd like to show you something between my groin and knee... 7 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,300 That's last year's password!. 8 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,900 But it's still something to do with crops, right? 9 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,700 Ummm..., Before the wheat begins to bud... 10 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,100 ...the blind calf... the blind calf... 11 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:10,100 ...the blind calf does not limp! 12 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,400 Ah yes, A blind calf does not limp before the crops sprout. 13 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,000 Alright alright, let me in!. 14 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:22,700 Fucking Adriano, Make the pass! Pissing me off again! 15 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,700 Grandma, maybe instead of playing with Inter... 16 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,300 ...better if you chose Manchester... because they have Rooney. 17 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,300 Oy! You're sitting on my precious trunk! 18 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,800 Get off! Get your fat arse off it now! 19 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,800 Get up, get up! 20 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,200 Look, I've brought you the game you wanted and some flowers. 21 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,200 Come on, why do you treat me like this? 22 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,600 Why do you always buy me a bunch of daisies? 23 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,800 ...can't you buy a bonsai tree or a golden coltsfoot? 24 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,900 And where am I supposed to find a bonsai or a coltsfoot grandma? 25 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,400 You picked these up from the cemetry. 26 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,200 What? You're breaking my heart! 27 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,400 - Get up from there! - Take your flowers! 28 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,200 Get up. Sit there in front of me. 29 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,700 You must never sit on this trunk. 30 00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:05,400 This trunk, it's what I hold most precious. 31 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,300 Goddammit, I don't see what's so precious about it! 32 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,900 You'll see what's in it when I'm dead, and not before. 33 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,500 This trunk holds nothing of interest to you anyway. 34 00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,100 I forbid you, and that's that. 35 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:19,300 I'll die without seeing it. God, you're such an animal! 36 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,500 I wonder which farm your parents bought you from. 37 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:22,400 That's a bit too far. 38 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,600 And no one has any idea what job you do. 39 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,400 You act like the bigshot of the neighbourhood. 40 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,400 You beat everyone up. Everyone complains about you! 41 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,800 You're really bothering me. 42 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,900 Me, I follow a philosophy when it comes to these matters. Like I always say... 43 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,600 Before the wheat begins to bud the calf does not limp. 44 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,300 I keep repeating it so that I can get it into your fat head. 45 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:44,600 Think about it when you're doing something, maybe write it on your wall. 46 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,000 Look over there! Do you know who that is? 47 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,400 That's your grandfather, a wrestler, a man well-built like a bear. 48 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,600 At the time of Sultan Hamit, he founded an advertising agency. 49 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,800 And do you know who runs this agency now? 50 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,000 Hakan, the son of your uncle. 51 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,300 That brat Hakan? 52 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:06,200 Yes Hakan the brat. You should follow his example. Why don't you be more like him?. 53 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,400 Grandma, I'm going to speak frankly. 54 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,800 That wanker Hakan, who can't get it up? I want nothing to do with him. 55 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,500 I'll never take a share from that impotent bastard. 56 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,600 Oh, I wish I could finally see you become somebody. 57 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,600 ...if I could see a nice girl at your side... 58 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,000 When will I see it? At this rate I'll die without seeing it. 59 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,900 Why, are you gay? You're a homo? 60 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,900 Listen Grandma, don't talk so shamelessly. 61 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,700 By God, if you were not my grandmother I would already have broken your jaw. 62 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,400 You're a bad guy, get lost. 63 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,800 Do you even know why I called you here? 64 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,600 And why else would you call me? I'm here now aren't I? 65 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,900 I bought you the game you wanted. The flowers you wanted. 66 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,900 It's not as though I came empty-handed. And all you do is yell at me. 67 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,500 I'm asking three things of you. No more. 68 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,400 Ask away. You always want something. 69 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,800 You're going to find a job and work. 70 00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,800 Wait wait, let me write this down. 71 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000 If I don't I'll forget. 72 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,400 May dogs piss on your head! Come on, make sure you remember what I say. 73 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,600 Tell me. 74 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,900 One, you're going to find a job, you need to work. 75 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,700 A job, Listen, you're annoying me with these tales of work. 76 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,700 ...you're wasting your time. 77 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:05,600 Work is not included in my genes. My DNA is out of order. What can I do? 78 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,900 Two, you're going to get married. And produce offspring. 79 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:13,000 'You're going to get married' she says. 80 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,400 It's easy for you to say. 81 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,900 Me too, but for the last 32 years... 82 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,500 I've been using my hand. I'm bored of it. 83 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,600 Of course I'd like to have a wife. But how? 84 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,900 Three, you're going to gain respect, you're going to be a good guy. 85 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,200 I'm going to win respect. 86 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,800 I'm already highly respected, so that's easy. 87 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,900 In fact, whenever I go out into the neighbourhood... 88 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,800 ...all the people stand up... 89 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,700 straight to attention. 90 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:38,200 I've told you three things. Don't dare coming back home without completing them. 91 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,500 Ok, I'll do it. I'll think of something. 92 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,700 Don't come back here until you're a somebody. Now get lost!. 93 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:44,800 Fine, I'll go do what you want. 94 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 I've promised to do it, but you natter on. 95 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,700 I even bought you a nice little PlayStation so you can occupy yourself. 96 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,600 Yet you're still on my case, you don't let me go. 97 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,800 Then why are you still sitting there like some honoured guest? 98 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000 Get up, get the fuck out of here! 99 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,600 Oh, you're insults are so painful. 100 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,900 Fuck off! Get out! 101 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,500 Fine, fine. I'm going. 102 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,300 I will do whatever you want. 103 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,200 You fucking animal, piss off! 104 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:10,500 Oh man, where do I begin with this work thing? 105 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,100 God, all I want is to peacefully sit here in front of this window. 106 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,900 ...and quietly watch the people go by. Now look at me. 107 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,000 I can't do that. 108 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,600 I'll try that. 109 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:31,300 Hello, I'm calling about your ad. Where are you located? 110 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,700 Actually, Tuzla is a bit too far for me. 111 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:37,800 Can't you come to my house, in Güngören? 112 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,900 What, how can you say that as a boss?. 113 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,600 ...you can't come to the house of an employee? 114 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,900 Why the hell not? What, do you hate your employees now? 115 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:50,000 No, I can't come to Tuzla.Fuck you and your job! 116 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,500 Just because a guy gives employment he expects everyone to come to his feet. 117 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,400 Come here and tell me which job you're going to give me. 118 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,300 We're looking for a domestic pet. 119 00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,100 Hmm, would that fit me? 120 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,200 I am an animal, but not domesticated. 121 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,200 No my friend. 122 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,400 No chance. 123 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,000 Not at all. 124 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,500 Get lost. 125 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:08,600 No way. 126 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:09,900 That's possible. 127 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:17,600 Hello! 128 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,800 No it's not Ali, I said hello. 129 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,500 I have a lot of experience. I am an expert in pedicure. 130 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,900 I cut my own toenails. 131 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,200 And then I lick the parts that are white. 132 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,500 Me, I don't mind. I've even licked the feet of women. 133 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,300 Who is it that I'm speaking to? 134 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,600 Who are you? 135 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,000 I give up. Who are you? 136 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,100 It's me that called you. Who are you? 137 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,200 I'll break your face. Where are you, eh? 138 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,900 Listen, don't insult me. Otherwise I'll break your mouth. 139 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,700 I'll insult you even more. 140 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,500 [Enraged] Enough words! Come on then, come to Güngören,if you want some! 141 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:54,500 Come on then, come to Güngören! 142 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,400 Come to Güngören and you'll see. 143 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,800 Hello, I'm calling about the ad. 144 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,300 I can't do this job, I can't. Thank you very much. 145 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,600 I called, but I can't do it, thank you. 146 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,900 I'm calling about your ad. Apparently you're looking for someone. 147 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,800 Hold on, stop! 148 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,200 Look no further, I am the one you're looking for my friend. 149 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,700 Good evening. 150 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,600 I come from Copernicus Pizzas. 151 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,800 As it says on my badge the pizzas are the hottest in the galaxy. 152 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:42,000 I've brought a copernicus pizza. 153 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:49,500 Pizza Kopernik, Kopernik, the hottest pizzas in the galaxy... 154 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,800 Pizza... Pizza...Kopernik. 155 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,400 Okay, okay, I get it. Give me my order. 156 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,700 Sorry, that's what they teach us. Here take that. 157 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:07,100 You've made a good choice. Congratulations, you're a smart guy. 158 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:08,700 Give me. 159 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,100 How much does it come to? 160 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,700 Now you ask, huh? Let me see how much my boss ripped you off by... 161 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,900 28.70 but for you it's only 14.35. 162 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,300 And why's that? 163 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,600 Well, when I was coming in, you know, it smelled so good. 164 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,800 And you know I couldn't help myself. 165 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,600 Because I'm a small guy I got scared when I opened the pizza. 166 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,500 I swear I haven't touched yours, I just ate the one that comes free in the promo. 167 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,200 That won't do. I want another one. 168 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,600 Listen friend. 169 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,300 This is my first delivery, you're not going to make a fool out of me, ok? 170 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,200 Go, eat it if you want. I don't want that, I want you to bring me an entire pizza. 171 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,600 What, is this half a pizza then? 172 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,600 And what will you do with an entire pizza? 173 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,200 Look at you, you're overeating anyway! You look like a bear. 174 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,600 What's wrong with sharing one with me? 175 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,600 Besides, I only brought one pizza. It's the other one in the promo that I ate. 176 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:50,900 What's your problem? 177 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:54,300 Come on, tell me, what's your problem, huh? 178 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:57,400 Is it because you're fatter than you are selfish? 179 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,400 What's wrong with sharing your pizza with me?. 180 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,700 God Almighty... 181 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,800 Obviously it's because you're so stingy you ended up weighing a tonne. 182 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,800 Even if you stopped eating for three months you wouldn't die. 183 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,500 Don't bother giving me the money. 184 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:13,000 Curse you, you fat, selfish, stingy bastard! 185 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,800 Don't worry about paying, you dirty, selfish cheapskate. 186 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,800 A selfish cheapskate who doesn't share. Bastard! 187 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:26,500 What, are you crazy or something? Is this how we treat our customers? 188 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,400 What's more, you ate the guy's pizzas! 189 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,400 But I needed to eat, did you want me to die? 190 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,600 You're a funny guy. 191 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,600 The man wanted to make a formal complaint. I had such difficulty dissuading him. 192 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,000 Boo hoo, I'm scared, I'm pissing myself scared. 193 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,600 I'm firing you. Hand in your uniform and get out. 194 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,100 Fuck you, I quit. Here, take this. 195 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,100 I'll have it. 196 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,500 Here's your machine. Whoops, it fell out of my hands. 197 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,600 - I'll take that. - Take your pizza as well. 198 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,300 - And take your helmet too. - Go away, scram! 199 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,100 What kind of guy are you? Fuck off! 200 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:10,100 - I'm going to break your mouth. - Get out of here! 201 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,700 Come my friends, get in single file. This way my dear. 202 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,600 Now everyone put your hand on the shoulder of the person in front. 203 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,500 Oy put your hand up, redhead. Put your hand there. 204 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,400 Good, now you'll stay in single file. Like a train. 205 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,800 This is Cash Express here. 206 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,000 Just like the Anatolia Express, I want to see all of you. 207 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,000 Hey, be disciplined. 208 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,100 Look at that, too many calories. 209 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:43,700 Yes, unfortunately. 210 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,800 After you eat that like an ogre you won't be able to get yourself up. 211 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,500 Sit in your armchair all day, and wonder why you weigh a hundred kilos? 212 00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:51,100 Today I get a bunch of donkeys. What can I do? 213 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:54,000 Take your bags, give me the money. You fat bitch. 214 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,500 You gave me too much, take the extra. 215 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:57,100 I know what I gave. 216 00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,000 Okay, I'll put your change in the tip-box. 217 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,600 Your salt! You forgot your salt. 218 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,300 In the evening, your husband will say the food has no salt, go away. 219 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:04,900 Welcome. 220 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,600 Ah grape molasses, eh? Tahini, eh big boy? Very good. 221 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:17,400 Motex love... Well, well big boy. Some man on man action tonight or what? 222 00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:21,600 Where is my squirrel? Where is my caterpillar? 223 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,300 You're having a mixed salad this evening? There's a match tonight, huh? 224 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,600 You'll be smuggling some meat tonight? 225 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,000 What meat smuggling? 226 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,800 Yes, you've taken extra large as well. 227 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:35,300 Isn't this too big for you now? I heard you had a tiny willy. 228 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,300 Isn't it going to be too big for you? If not, you could wear it on your body instead.[Laughs] 229 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,700 I'd better pay and go quickly. 230 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:47,300 Ha, he says he's got a match tonight. 231 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,100 That's 10.70. But I'll charge you 20.70. 232 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,100 Go on, get out you rascal. He's having a melee tonight. 233 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,900 Listen, don't use the menthol flavour, it burns. 234 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,800 And keep your strength up in your dick. Like that. 235 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:05,500 [Makes motor sounds] Like an engine. Ok big boy? Tatak tatak. 236 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,300 Bravo to you. 237 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,900 He lives in my neighbourhood. He didn't go into puberty until the age of 27. 238 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,800 At 25 he didn't even have a single hair under his arms, the idiot. 239 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,700 He buys 3-4 packets every day. You ask him what he does with them? 240 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,300 You ask him, is there a girl? No. 241 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,100 What he does with all those, I don't know. Probably makes them into balloons 242 00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,400 and launches them. 243 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:30,200 Pear, banana, avocado, aubergine. 244 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,000 Hey, young man. 245 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:33,600 Yes boss. 246 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,600 Since this morning, all I've got are complaints about you. 247 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,400 Really? What complaints? 248 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,400 About everything. Heck, someone even wanted to beat you up. 249 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,600 Go on, get out of here quick, and hand in your ID. 250 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,800 I'm firing you, get out. 251 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,100 Listen, it's me who's resigning, ok? 252 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,400 For God's sake... Go on, hurry up. 253 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,300 Go on? Go on? I'm gonna stuff this leek down your throat. 254 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,900 - Fuck you!. - I'll make you eat this leek. 255 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,600 Fuck off out of here, you mental case. 256 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,100 I've never seen such a headcase in my life, what a nutter!. 257 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,600 Finally, when the guy told me to hurry and all that... 258 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,800 ...that made me mad, so I handed in my resignation, and I left. 259 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,000 Lord Almighty, as if they'll eat up your resignation. You resign and feel so proud of yourself. 260 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,400 Do you know what you've done? I'd rather not say what I think of you right now... 261 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,700 I won't let them trample on my honour and my pride like that, ok? 262 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:21,000 If you had any honour or pride you'd still be working. 263 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,200 Alright then, tomorrow I'll try the medical sector. 264 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,800 Ah yes, you try that. And see if you can kill anyone while you're at it. 265 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,700 Go on, get out. Actually, come, let's play a match. 266 00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,900 I need to fuck you up at PES to get you thinking.. 267 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,200 At PES? 268 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,500 Come, get up. 269 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,100 You look very sure of yourself. 270 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:36,900 I am very sure of myself. 271 00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,300 I'll give you a thrashing. 272 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,100 Come on then, we'll see who beats who. 273 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,200 Oy, don't put that there! 274 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,100 What does it matter? 275 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,900 How many times have I told you to never touch that? 276 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,500 That's my precious trunk you're sitting on again, it's more valuable than you are. 277 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,300 Good God, look at that you made me spill my soup! 278 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,700 I will kill you, don't do that. 279 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:54,000 My God, what a tackle, you fucked me over there, look at that. 280 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,600 I'm gonna waste you. 281 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,500 Go on, start. 282 00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:04,000 Who shall I play with, which team is that? 283 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,600 You're gonna be Inter? 284 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,700 Good morning. 285 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,700 My God! An enormous buffalo!. 286 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,400 Oh excuse me, I panicked a bit. 287 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,500 What do you have? 288 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,200 Are you pregnant? 289 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,600 Was it external fertilisation, what is it? 290 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,300 I'm constipated. 291 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,400 - Since when? - 7-8, maybe 9 days. 292 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,700 I can't imagine the state of your bowels! 293 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,400 The smell, the excess gas!. The stench, it flows through everything. 294 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,500 My stomach is gone! You've caught a viral trend. 295 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,700 It must be chronic diarrhoea... 296 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,800 Ah, you're panicking, as well you might. 297 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,100 It's a very painful disease. 298 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,200 Look, first the vessels of the umbilical partition will die... 299 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,000 ...and then through that hole they call the umbilicus, your faeces will emerge... 300 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,500 ...that's advanced medical language- you will better know it as 'shit'... 301 00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,000 It will all flow out onto your bed, like so. 302 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,100 I will recommend an alternative medicine. 303 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,500 Rectal suppository! It's a good alternative. 304 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,100 You know how to use it? 305 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,200 I know. 306 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,200 Let me explain, so that everything is perfectly clear. 307 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,900 Everything should be clear to the patient. 308 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:32,500 If not, we'll end up with people trying to swallow it with water. Now pay attention 309 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,200 Tell me, what is this? 310 00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,800 What is it? 311 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,600 Your view would be from here. 312 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,700 There are two massive butt-cheeks. 313 00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:47,600 Normally they're a bit smaller. With you they're like this. 314 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,200 Yours are more separated, etc. not normal. 315 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,800 I'll describe it later. It's like this. 316 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:56,800 Take some vaseline, like so, take a generous amount. 317 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,300 Lubricate it well with your hands. 318 00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,300 Now, the suppository. 319 00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,000 The beginning is a bit rough, but the end is smooth. You take it, you put the tip here. 320 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,000 The beginning is a bit rough, but the end is smooth. You take it, you put the tip here 321 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,000 What kind of a man are you, you crazy or what? 322 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,200 Come madam, I'm going to help you out. 323 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,000 Help me, so help me! 324 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,900 You should be ashamed to work with such a pervert as him! 325 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:26,400 Dear Neriman. She was putting it all on. 326 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,900 Excuse me, but she had 9 tonnes of dried shit in her stomach. 327 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:32,400 She asks us to help, then treats us so rudely, so perverse! 328 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,400 But you're a rude man, you're too insensitive. 329 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,500 Alright look, I understand where you're going here. 330 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:44,300 Take this off me, there, take my coat. 331 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,400 I'm handing in my pledge of prostate here. 332 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,400 Take the suppository. I'm handing in my resignation and I'm going. 333 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,500 Go on! 334 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,100 In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. Let's go. 335 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,500 God I swear I've got diarrhoea because of the motions. 336 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,500 And the increased atmospheric pressure to boot, you know. 337 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,800 ...it's gonna blow my pants off. Has it ever happened to you? 338 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,800 No. Never mind, try and forget it for now. 339 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,700 I'll oversee the economy class section. And you can take care of Business Class. 340 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:29,700 Business Class? 341 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,900 Yes, Business Class is upto the curtain. It's for businessmen. 342 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,800 Ah, on this side of the curtain we have notables, i.e. businessmen. 343 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:36,800 Yes, absolutely. 344 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,100 Okay, I got it, I'll make sure. 345 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,600 Sir, I wish you a good day. Welcome to Atlas Jet. 346 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,300 Good evening ladies and gentlemen... 347 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,300 Welcome on board for flying to the Atlas Jet. 348 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,700 - Your field of business? - Textiles. 349 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,100 - Very good. Yours? - Tourism, mate. 350 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,800 - Fine, and yours? - The food sector. 351 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,800 - Food sector! And you? - I'm with textiles. 352 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,900 It is said that the two who love textiles are destined to meet.[Laughs] And you? 353 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,400 - Yes? - Your job, your occupation? 354 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,000 Why are you asking? 355 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,000 I need to be sure that our passengers in Business Class are actually businessmen. 356 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,400 I'm a film producer. 357 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,900 Looking at madam here, I can more or less guess the subject of your films... 358 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,400 Congrats, you are in the right area! 359 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:23,600 Well, what about you? 360 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,500 Take them off, take them off! What's your job? 361 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,600 What occupation, I'm just having fun! 362 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,300 Fun? I swear, I'll beat the fuck out of you! 363 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,500 Get in the back! Rude kid. 364 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,800 You're just a slacker. Some kind of Kargo Koray fan. Get in the back! 365 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,800 Taking up Business Class seats! 366 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:43,000 Excuse me. We are having a small seurity issue. 367 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,800 Don't worry Mr. And Mrs. Brown there is a little problem. 368 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,100 What's your occupation? 369 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:56,300 Your seatbelts attach as shown. 370 00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,400 Look at the belt it opens and closes like this. 371 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:03,400 Look at the belt it opens and closes like this 372 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,200 It's very easy, no need to explain over and over. 373 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,000 Our plane has eight emergency exits. 374 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,000 The exits! Everyone turn your heads! 375 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,700 Afterwards I don't want to hear anyone saying I didn't see, I didn't know. 376 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:16,400 Here, observe, 2 at the front, 2 behind and 2 right here. 377 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:20,900 Ah! The emergency instructions. 378 00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:23,400 Don't bother with this at all. 379 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,000 When they tell you to lean forward and all that, they're chatting shit. 380 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,900 If the plane crashes, everyone just hug one another. 381 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,000 The probability that we'll all die is exactly ninety percent. 382 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,700 You have viewing lights above each seat, don't dare ask me later... 383 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,700 ...we're in the dark sir, call the host for help. 384 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,100 We're showing you, lights above everyone. 385 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,000 If the cabin pressure should vary, above your head... 386 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,500 Ah, oxygen! While we are in the air, if the pressure drops... 387 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:48,100 ...the lid should open, Where is the compartment? 388 00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,200 This is it. It should open by itself. 389 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:55,200 Take this, pull back the elastic, then pull over your head like so. 390 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,300 Make sure you do the kids first. They're telling it wrong over there. 391 00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:01,300 Make sure you do the kids first. They're telling it wrong over there. 392 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,000 Life jackets are below the seats, you can set them to your size. 393 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,600 These are the clips, just clip on them like this. 394 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,200 Two red handles, ensure you fasten them tight! 395 00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:16,200 Hey! hey! Fuck! Get it off! 396 00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:30,300 Don't tear my hair off! 397 00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:39,400 I was going to die there you know, why don't you believe me? 398 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,900 My head aches due to increased blood pressure, and my bottom due to diarrhoea, man. 399 00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:44,100 And on top of all that the air pressure! I swear I was going to explode. 400 00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:45,600 But why did you pull the strings Recep? 401 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,300 "Why did you pull the strings Recep?" she says. 402 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,600 How else are we meant to show the passengers? 403 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,000 Man I'm lucky to be alive. You see I have two capillaries... 404 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,800 ...going from my neck to my brain, both feeding my frontal lobe... 405 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000 When the circulation disappears, I just collapse immediately! 406 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,000 When the circulation disappears, I just immediately collapse! 407 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,200 Yes, you've been through a lot. 408 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:06,500 Yes, I know. 409 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,400 You have not attached your belt? 410 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,200 Don't insult me. 411 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,000 Don't insult me. 412 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,400 My family is one of the first Families of Aviation. 413 00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:20,100 When I was only seven years old, I was already playing with a force 12-14 G. 414 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,900 I'm very experienced. Do you know who you're talking about? 415 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,900 My grandmother was one of the first Turkish women who flew. 416 00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:30,000 She was on a flight with Safiye Soyman once. 417 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,800 Safiye Soyman? Who is that? 418 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,100 What a disgrace! You don't know that and call yourself a flight attendant? 419 00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:38,200 How can you call yourself an air hostess? 420 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,100 You don't even know the first Turkish woman who flew on a plane? 421 00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:42,200 My goodness!There was even an airport named after her. 422 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,900 You haven't heard of the Safiye Soyman airport? 423 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:47,400 But that's the Sabiha Gökçen airport, Recep, not Safiye Soyman! 424 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,700 Oh yes, it's possibly a misnomer. My memory is overloaded. 425 00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:54,400 You are funny. 426 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,600 Ay! What was that? 427 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:02,700 Dear passengers... 428 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,800 We are experiencing some turbulence. 429 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,600 Please fasten your seatbelts ... 430 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:07,900 -What's the hell is going on! -It's just turbulence. 431 00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:10,200 Hold on, I'll ask the Captain. 432 00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:12,000 It must be the pilot's fault. 433 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,900 He needs to fly the plane instead of talking. 434 00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:15,400 Stay here, one minute. 435 00:24:15,900 --> 00:24:17,400 Open up, I want a word! 436 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:20,300 Oy, come on out! Out! 437 00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:22,300 Nothing is wrong sir, please be calm. 438 00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:26,500 Come here. What's with the artistic impressions? 439 00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:28,600 Wake up, You're lost in the head. 440 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,400 Pilot the aircraft properly! Do not put it into turbulence. 441 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,900 Leave out the artistic stunts and fly the plane properly! 442 00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:36,600 You are on an empty road. 443 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,300 -There's nothing in front! -Nothing, nothing, nothing! 444 00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:40,600 Look at you! Can't even brush your hair! 445 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,800 You think you're an expert? You think you're the best? 446 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,500 Just shut up and drive the plane. 447 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:48,700 Pilot it properly! You're up in empty space. 448 00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:50,900 No roads, nothing, just air all around! 449 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:53,800 Dumb fuck! 450 00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:56,000 Let's see that. 451 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,900 Hmm, they should also give us men hats like yours. 452 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,600 What happened? What is it my handsome grandson? 453 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,600 Massage it, gently, gently... 454 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,500 But what happened to you grandson? Tell me what you have. 455 00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:12,300 It was the atmospheric pressure. I've got gas in my stomach. 456 00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:15,000 It happens to men who are working. 457 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,600 Man, I had to submit my resignation because of these difficulties. 458 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:20,600 What? What did you say...? 459 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,800 Yes, what else could I do? 460 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,100 But how many resignations, you bastard? 461 00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:27,000 It's impossible to resign 17 times in 20 days! 462 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,200 But what am I to do grandma? 463 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,100 The sector just doesn't suit me. The Business Life is not for me. 464 00:25:31,300 --> 00:25:33,700 Look at your Grandfather there! He established an advertising agency. 465 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,600 The son of your uncle is now in charge of its operations. He is very rich. 466 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,300 You can go there, I've spoken with Hakan. 467 00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:39,700 Why? What did you say to him? 468 00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:41,900 I spoke with him. He's going to give you a share. 469 00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:45,300 What? But you've got no official evidence to prove that I have a share! 470 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:48,100 We live in a secular, democratic country. 471 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:50,000 I didn't ask- did you have the right to? Is that fair? 472 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,600 You'll be the owner, the partner of the company. 473 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,500 They're waiting for you there. Go now. 474 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:56,400 But grandma.. please don't send me there. 475 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:57,800 -Go! -Please don't send me to Hakan! 476 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,600 -Go! - Please! 477 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,100 That does it. I've had it up to here! 478 00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:03,600 Just give me the damned address. For fuck's sake, this will never end. 479 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,800 The way you keep nagging me, you sound like a Japanese torturer. 480 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,700 At least go and see. If I can't make a man out of you, I'll die unhappy... 481 00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,000 Just give me the address. 482 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,700 Alright. I'll give it to you and then you can leave. 483 00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:14,200 Give me the exact address then. 484 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,200 -Ok. Write it down. -It's... 485 00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:18,400 You've forgotten it, haven't you? 486 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,700 How are you supposed to find me a job with your little brain? 487 00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:23,600 I'm not finding you a job. I'm just telling to you to get your share of the company. 488 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,100 I really don't want to go to that knob Hakan. 489 00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,800 What? No my boy, you must. If you don't, I'll never forgive you. 490 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,200 Peace be with you. Is Hakan the slimy bastard here? 491 00:26:58,700 --> 00:26:59,800 Hakan the what...? 492 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,300 Hakan Ivedik. My cousin. 493 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:02,900 Mr. Hakan is in a meeting. 494 00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:04,600 Where exactly can I find this meeting room? 495 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,200 Thanks. I'll find it myself. 496 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,600 Do you have an appointment? Sir, one second please... 497 00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:11,300 My friends,the Japanese are world leaders in the automobile sector. 498 00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,300 If we get this new contract finalised, we will be the representatives for the Middle East. 499 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:16,000 You must realise, this is of utmost importance. 500 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,600 The launch date has been finalised, the cost reports need drawing up. 501 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,800 Heeey! How are you doing, you wild animal? 502 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,300 So you're a boss now? A boss, eh? 503 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:28,400 You've grown up, and now you make big meetings? 504 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,000 What a big man. What a big man. 505 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:33,000 Excuse us friends, I'm interrupting your meeting... 506 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,000 ...but he is my cousin. 507 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,800 We both grew up together from childhood. 508 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,800 One day he says to me, brother Recep, I don't feel good... 509 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,500 ...he tells me: I am at the age of 18, but I haven't yet fucked. 510 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,000 Come into my room, Recep. 511 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,700 Then he says, Wait, wait, listen... 512 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:48,900 ...I'll speak a little less crudely as there are some girls here. 513 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,400 A few years later, he calls me again, 'My brother, Now I am 22...' he says. 514 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,900 ...and all I've been doing are hand-exercises, I'm really on fire! 515 00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:57,900 So I told him, alright my son I'm going to take you to school. 516 00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:01,100 I say school, but you understand, I'm talking about a brothel. 517 00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:04,000 So I take him to Karaköy and put him into one of the rooms... 518 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,100 I was waiting for him outside the door, understand? 519 00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:08,600 While I was there, I heard a voice calling from inside. 520 00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:11,200 'Recep, come into my room'. 521 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,000 Me, I thought it was the voice of the girl, you know that was 'handling' him, but no! 522 00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:18,700 [Laughs crazily] 523 00:28:19,700 --> 00:28:21,600 - But what is this? - We are in a meeting. 524 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,900 What, you couldn't do it? Haha! Your little mushroom locust not up to it? 525 00:28:25,100 --> 00:28:26,700 My dear Recep, come to my office. 526 00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:28,300 You have an office? 527 00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:30,700 You've become a boss, now you have an office? 528 00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:31,800 You guys carry on without me. 529 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,700 Ah Recep, how many years has it been? 530 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:51,200 Probably 10-15 years. 531 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,700 No way? Yes, it's flown by. 532 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,500 Alright, alright, stop with the small talk, let's talk business. 533 00:28:58,700 --> 00:29:00,700 Now my dear Hakan, I believe that my grandmother called you. 534 00:29:00,900 --> 00:29:02,200 No, she didn't call me. 535 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,200 - She didn't call? - God no. 536 00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:08,600 Alright, I'll explain my dire situation. 537 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,600 I have decided to return to the field of commerce. 538 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,200 With the 'encouragement' of my grandma. 539 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,000 I tried my luck, in different sectors. 540 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,700 I tried the tourism sector, the field of medicine. 541 00:29:18,900 --> 00:29:22,300 Aviation sector, food sector, and others even... 542 00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:25,800 ...but you know the state of our country. 543 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:26,500 Everyone sticks to one field, they have training for that... 544 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,500 Everyone sticks to one field, they have training for that... 545 00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:34,200 ...but you'll see 17-18 million young, hungry, unemployed people. 546 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,700 ...At the moment, I'm one of them. 547 00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:39,200 It's true that the market is difficult. The real sector doesn't want to accept you. 548 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,000 It's not enough. 549 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,100 That's true. Commerce is very difficult. We are also in a fight. 550 00:29:44,300 --> 00:29:48,900 Difficult. Very difficult. I've made such an effort. 551 00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:51,800 Thing is, you need to know someone popular, someone powerful. 552 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:55,800 Thing is, you need to know someone popular, someone powerful. 553 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:57,700 You understand me? 554 00:29:58,100 --> 00:29:58,400 So I've been saying to myself, we have such a robust company thanks to our grandfather... 555 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:02,400 So I've been saying to myself, we have such a robust company thanks to our grandfather... 556 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:03,000 ...Alaaddin Company; which our forefathers have now bequeathed us... 557 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,000 ...Alaaddin Company; which our forefathers have now bequeathed us... 558 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,600 ...they left it to their grandsons, and here we are. 559 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,500 It's now time for us to step up, it's time for us to run this company. 560 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,400 So I thought to myself I should discuss this with Hakan, we can reach an arrangement. 561 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,600 ...if we combine my intelligence with your drive, make a partnership... 562 00:30:21,900 --> 00:30:23,600 But Recep, what partnership? 563 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,600 These affairs are very difficult. The publicity sector is very different. 564 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,900 Listen to me, boss. I've been speaking to you gently, have I not? 565 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,200 I tell you that I also have a right over our grandfather's company. 566 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,400 You are his grandson. And so am I. 567 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,800 Therefore a partnership is mandatory. 568 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,000 Look, business is not for you. Me, I've studied for this at university. 569 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,000 Don't make me mad! 570 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:46,900 Stuff your university up you're ass! I have a right over this company. 571 00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:50,900 I said nothing about school! I have a right over this company. 572 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:54,200 I swear I'll draw a line right here and take my rightful half! 573 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,600 How dare you not allow me into my own company? 574 00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,300 I swear I'll file a case against you. And I'll break your jaw before I go. 575 00:31:01,300 --> 00:31:02,700 But my brother, why are you talking like this? 576 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,200 [Shouts in rage]. Shut it! 577 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,400 Don't make me lose it! 578 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,500 Alright alright, my dear brother. Stay calm. What do you want to do here? 579 00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:15,400 What do I want do here? What do you think, huh? What do you do? 580 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:16,700 I'm the boss. 581 00:31:16,900 --> 00:31:19,100 Yes, you are the boss. Therefore me, I'm the vice-boss. 582 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:23,500 Is that understood? Say it now- I am the vice boss. 583 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,800 Say it to me now! Tell me that I'm the vice-boss! 584 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,000 Come on then, say it. Say I'm the second in command. Tell me. 585 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:31,600 You are the demi-boss. 586 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,200 Say it again- I am the vice president. 587 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,000 - You are the VP. - Ah, now we see eye-to-eye, eh? 588 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,900 Alright, so what will you want, you know as salary? 589 00:31:39,300 --> 00:31:41,900 Well of course, for now, professionally speaking... 590 00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:45,700 ...money is not a priority, but since we're talking money anyway.. 591 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,600 You know that these days, the average wage for a man... 592 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,200 ...with a family of 4 is around 800-900 YTL... 593 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,900 ...so since I'm a family of one... 594 00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:57,400 ...I'll have 200 YTL plus tax plus expenses, and mind, I want full expenses. 595 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,000 I'm going to be using the Metrobus as well as other methods of transport. 596 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,400 Fine. That's agreed. I must return to the meeting. 597 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,800 Hey sit back down, idiot. You can't go back yet. 598 00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:15,000 Aren't you going to introduce me in my new position to the rest of the company? 599 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,000 My friends. Everyone pay attention. 600 00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:32,300 Come, all of you leave your work for a moment. Mr Recep here is my new partner. 601 00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:34,600 He will be joining us as of today. 602 00:32:35,100 --> 00:32:37,100 We were here from the birth of this company! When no one else was! 603 00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:37,900 No one was here! Only us! Only us! 604 00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:41,900 No one was here! Only us! Only us! 605 00:32:42,100 --> 00:32:44,400 Our grandfather founded this company. 606 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,100 He founded it with only a cart and some land. 607 00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:51,100 He founded it with only a cart and some land! 608 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,100 But Recep, why are you shouting at them? 609 00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:59,400 I'm a bit nervous, as this is my first day as boss. 610 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,400 Excuse me Mr Hakan, but what will be Mr Recep's position? 611 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:08,000 Heyyy look here, Clark Kent, I'll be here in the missionary position, ok? 612 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,800 We haven't finalised that yet, don't worry it'll be sorted later. 613 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,200 Hakan, you said nothing about my position... 614 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,600 ...as vice-boss! 615 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,000 My friends, Mr Recep is the vice boss. 616 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,900 He is my equal here. That will suffice for now. 617 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,000 My brother, I must return to the meeting. 618 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,100 Go! The company needs you! Go my brave boy! Don't come back... 619 00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,300 without achieving your task! 620 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:48,400 My friends. In my first minute here, I have observed... 621 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,200 ...certain mental disorders. 622 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,300 Now, I'm going to sort these out. 623 00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:56,800 I'll be back later. Now I must go and deal with the flow of business. 624 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,000 Good job. 625 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,100 Ugh. They understand nothing about art. 626 00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:16,900 One must have the right point of view with art. 627 00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:23,500 Hey ladies, will you watch this? 628 00:34:24,300 --> 00:34:26,500 It's quite clear that there is... 629 00:34:26,700 --> 00:34:28,200 ...motionblur in the televisons behind you. 630 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,700 Yes, there is motionblur. 631 00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:32,900 Pay attention to everything, please. 632 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,000 Girls, the working life is tough. 633 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,400 You might be physically as strong as a horse... 634 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,800 But you must also be active, dynamic. 635 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000 Mad, insubordinate, and solitary. 636 00:34:42,900 --> 00:34:46,900 That's why on these sensory sensitive televisions... 637 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,400 ...the TJK TV horse-racing channel will always be on. Here, and in the whole building. 638 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,400 ...the TJK TV horse-racing channel will always be on. Here, and in the whole building. 639 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,100 You understand me? Ding!! 640 00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,100 The competition has commenced, dear viewers, I can see. 641 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,800 Yes sir. 642 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,800 The principle is to remain very strong and firm. Like a horse. 643 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,000 Strong. 644 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,400 You understand? 645 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:16,800 So go forth, with dynamism, energy, dynamism, energy, dynamism. 646 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,200 Hop dynamic, hip hop... 647 00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:23,600 That's how. 648 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,600 Hey you, those in the office, I've got my eye on you. 649 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,200 I will inspect that when I return. What the hell is that, girl? 650 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:39,100 Don't hang your personal clothes here please. 651 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,100 Go wash this at home, not here. 652 00:35:42,300 --> 00:35:44,600 And you, take all those of your arm. 653 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,800 Why on earth are you wearing nuts? 654 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,800 Why are you walking around with nuts on your wrist? 655 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,600 Don't you dare respond to me again, or I'll give you a slap. 656 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,300 He asks me "which position". Impudent swine. Work properly. 657 00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:54,800 Hang up the phone. Hang up! We need to make some spending cuts. 658 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:58,800 Hang up the phone. Hang up! We need to make some spending cuts. 659 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:03,000 Before Hakan, the water mill here was always flowing, always flowing. 660 00:36:03,700 --> 00:36:05,000 But no!! 661 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,400 This is my Grandfather's company. And there is an economic crisis. 662 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,900 You, do you use Photoshop? 663 00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:13,000 - Yes. - Is it version 4 or 5? 664 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,700 - Version 4. - Well done my daughter. 665 00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:16,600 Work the Layer layer, right my child? 666 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,000 Very good, fatty, using the Photoshop. Good. 667 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,700 I appreciate your working together on this. Good partnership. 668 00:36:22,900 --> 00:36:25,800 But you, are you one of those pirates of the Caribbean? 669 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,500 You think you're a pirate of the Caribbean? 670 00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:29,900 Go cut your hair, or I'll throw you out. 671 00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:32,100 Go sort yourself out! Go cut and comb your hair. 672 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,200 My dear, my daughter. How old are you, child? 673 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:38,300 27. 674 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:40,700 Very good, little one. What do you want to be when you grow up? 675 00:36:40,900 --> 00:36:41,700 But I'm... 676 00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:44,000 Ah, look at my little darling. She is so small. 677 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,900 Next year come with your fancy costume on the 23rd April, to the children's party. 678 00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:49,100 You can wear the Norwegian national dress. 679 00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:52,800 We'll even let you be in charge for a whole day. 680 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:58,800 Oy! Go! Get away from here. 681 00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:02,500 You pervert, sexually harassing the girls! 682 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,100 Yes, bravo young girl. What is this? 683 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,700 Tell me, what is this my dear? 684 00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:12,300 It's a mobile phone? Don't you know not to keep it so close to the computer! 685 00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:14,900 You're working with equipment worth millions of dollars. 686 00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:18,000 It might damage the EBS, ESR, and ASR of the machines. 687 00:37:18,500 --> 00:37:21,800 We tell you at every opportunity. You still haven't understood? 688 00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:25,300 Look at that! Two employees at one table. 689 00:37:25,500 --> 00:37:28,700 Get lost! Go and find another table. 690 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,900 Take your notebook as well. 691 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000 There, there, darling, it was a necessary action to boost your performance. 692 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,000 Good. Carry on. Work hard. Good job. 693 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,800 Good, I appreciate your use of colour. Very good. 694 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,600 So as soon as I found the place, I went and got hold of him. 695 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:50,200 I said to him, "Hakan,you can't manage everything by yourself... 696 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:54,200 I said to him, "Hakan,you can't manage everything by yourself... 697 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:55,900 ...at this company founded by my Grandfather". 698 00:37:56,100 --> 00:37:58,200 He immediately saw the sense in what I said. 699 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:02,400 He told me, of course, my dear Recep. You should become half-owner. 700 00:38:02,700 --> 00:38:06,500 He is a man of good faith, reasonable, but too talkative and unscrupulous. 701 00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:08,600 So now you have a job, you need to find a girl. 702 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,100 - Grandma, if you don't shut up I'll beat the shit out of you. - Be decent! 703 00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:14,500 I'm not trying to be rude, but I've had enough trouble just getting a job. 704 00:38:14,700 --> 00:38:16,400 - Go find a girl right away! - Come on! 705 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,300 - You'll find one and show her to me. - Dammit, haven't you done enough? 706 00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:20,500 I want to see a girl. 707 00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:23,400 Just carry on spinning wool, why are you talking to me about girls? 708 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,800 You will find one immediately! Don't try to shout louder than me. 709 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000 [mimics] You will find one immediately! Don't try to shout louder than me. 710 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:31,100 -That's enough! You're such a disgrace! Poh, poh! - [mimics]Poh, poh!! 711 00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:35,900 Look at this rude, dishonest, impudent lecher! 712 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,900 Where is everyone? 713 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:54,100 Its not even 12.30, and everyone's packed up for the day. 714 00:38:54,900 --> 00:38:58,900 Where are the people? The machines are still on. 715 00:38:59,100 --> 00:39:01,800 These devices are consuming electricity. 716 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,700 This is the company of my Grandfather, my Grandfather! 717 00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:20,800 Well done my boy. Bravo to you. 718 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,400 I congratulate you. Good boy. Good boy. 719 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,900 Where are the workers? You are the only one here? Well done. 720 00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:29,700 It's 12.30 Mr Recep, it's lunch break now. 721 00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,200 So why haven't you gone with them, aren't they your friends? 722 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,700 - No, I don't like them. - But why ever not? 723 00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:36,200 They're all imbeciles. 724 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,300 Well that's true. Especially the group in the middle, they are real stupids. 725 00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:42,400 Idiots. So you don't have many friends here... 726 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:43,300 No, not many. 727 00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:46,800 - Not many female friends either? - Oh no, I have plenty of girlfriends. 728 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,500 What? What do you mean plenty, you ugly monkey? 729 00:39:49,900 --> 00:39:51,800 They're on the internet. 730 00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:56,100 They say there are many girls on the internet, is it true? 731 00:39:56,300 --> 00:39:57,600 It's very true Mr Recep sir. 732 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,900 I need around 1 or 2 girls. 733 00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:04,400 I finally managed to get a job. Now I'm at the second phase, to get married. 734 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,900 You can easily find them. There are escort agency sites, dating sites. 735 00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:10,200 What! Shut it before I...!! 736 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,800 I tell you I'm looking for a girl to marry, and you talk about escorts. 737 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:16,000 It's impossible! 738 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,500 - Excuse me Mr Recep sir - How dare you call your future sister-in-law an escort! 739 00:40:18,700 --> 00:40:21,400 Ok, ok. So you want to make a profile on normal sites. 740 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,300 Go and make me a profile. 741 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:26,700 Save me from this life. 742 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,600 Here we go then. First, you need to make a nickname. 743 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,300 - Nick what? - Nickname. A pseudonym. 744 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,500 - Ah, a pseudonym. - Do you have one? 745 00:40:36,700 --> 00:40:39,200 Me and my grandfather share the same nickname: "Bear-strangler". 746 00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:41,300 "Bear-strangler", isn't that a bit harsh on yourself? 747 00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:43,600 How dare you speak like that about the name of my grandfather! 748 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,700 A girl must accept me just the way I am. 749 00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:48,800 The babes are attracted by my swagger,not my display. 750 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,800 The girl will see that I'm a Bear-strangler when she sees me anyway. 751 00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:54,000 Ok. Now I have to put in your hobbies. 752 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,400 My hobbies? 753 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:57,600 Put down sport. 754 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,100 - At sports, I like horse racing. - Horse racing. 755 00:41:00,300 --> 00:41:02,200 - Yes - Any others? 756 00:41:02,700 --> 00:41:06,000 - Close-quarters combat. I can knock people out. I do it well. 757 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:07,700 If I hit someone, they just drop immediately. 758 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:11,900 Ok, so he fights well. Are there any others? 759 00:41:12,300 --> 00:41:16,000 - I am sensitive. - He is sensitive. 760 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,800 I am aggressive. I have complexes. 761 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,900 But I am timid as a kitten when by myself. 762 00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:22,300 Aggressive, complexes, like a kitten when by self. 763 00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:26,300 Aggressive, complexes, like a kitten when by self. 764 00:41:26,500 --> 00:41:28,100 - Yes. - Fine. 765 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:32,000 And finally, we need a profile photo. 766 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,900 - Fine, take one now. - Ok, I'll take one. 767 00:41:35,700 --> 00:41:37,300 Smile Mr Recep. 768 00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:41,300 - Count me down from 3 to 1. - 3, 2, 1. 769 00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:44,000 - It's ok. - Is it ok? 770 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,300 - Yes, take a look. - Fine. 771 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:49,200 - I'll completet your profile this evening at home. - See if any chicks have replied yet. 772 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,400 - I can't, not yet. - Why not? 773 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,200 No one would respond that quickly. 774 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,900 Look, I'll complete it at home. Tomorrow you'll have two, for sure. 775 00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:58,800 Yes ok then. Fine, we'll see tomorrow. 776 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,200 Tomorrow. 777 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,700 Ok, now you can call me brother Recep instead of Mr sir Recep. 778 00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:05,300 - Now we're on a level. - Ok then, brother Recep... 779 00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,700 Hey, I'll break your arms and your head. 780 00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:11,200 - Didn't you hear? I do close-quarters combat. - Forgive me, brother Recep. 781 00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:36,100 Brother Recep. Oh brother Recep... 782 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:38,500 Huh? 783 00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:40,100 What are you doing? Is this a camera? 784 00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:42,400 Hey, don't come here to chat shit, can you not see I am busy? I am photocopying. 785 00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,800 - I have some good news. - What's happened? 786 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,300 - I've got you a date. - Really? 787 00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,200 - I swear. - By God? 788 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,400 - By God. - Oh my God. I am very happy. 789 00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,600 I'm very excited. I swear to you, I am so excited! 790 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,400 By God! By God!. 791 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,600 I told you I'd manage to get one. Well done. 792 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:03,900 Lay it here!! 793 00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:08,400 This is super. I need to go put myself in order. 794 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,300 But first let's photograph this moment to remember. 795 00:43:11,500 --> 00:43:13,100 - Ow, what are you doing - Take that. 796 00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:14,600 - But you've broken it. - Come, come. 797 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:15,700 But there is dangerous radiation... 798 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,800 What are you doing brother Recep? People will mistake us for lovers. 799 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,400 I'm not doing this for your amusement. 800 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,000 In fact, all my friends are animal-types. 801 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,900 This is the first time that I've dated someone through the internet. 802 00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:34,800 It's nothing to get so excited about. It will be so good. 803 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,700 The girl's nickname is 'daisygirl'. Her clothes are pink. 804 00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:40,800 - Let me see if she's arrived. Has she arrived? 805 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,600 - No, stay calm. - I just had an explosion of adrenaline. 806 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,000 Look at my mouth and my tongue are so dry. Look, can you see? 807 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,400 I'm going to get something to drink. You want anything? 808 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:51,800 - No thanks. - Fine, mate. 809 00:43:55,900 --> 00:43:57,400 - Thank you. - Pardon. 810 00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,900 Good day. Can you give me an Orangina? 811 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:04,400 - I'm sorry, we don't have any orangina. - Alright, give me a glass of lime. 812 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,400 - We don't have any of that, sorry. - Then give me a cup of sage tea. 813 00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,600 Sorry, we don't have any sage tea. 814 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,600 Alright then, give me one of those mint and lemon teas. Go on hurry up. 815 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,100 But sir, we don't do mint and lemon tea here. 816 00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:19,500 - Give me an orchid then. - We have no orchids. 817 00:44:19,900 --> 00:44:23,300 - Not even some boza? - We only sell coffee. 818 00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:25,700 Ok ok. Give me a Mŭrra then. Hurry. 819 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,700 We don't have any mŭrra sir. 820 00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:30,600 What, isn't this a Starbucks? 821 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,900 You don't have anything. The satisfaction of the customer is very important. 822 00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:38,900 You may choose from our menu sir. 823 00:44:39,100 --> 00:44:41,000 - That is all that we sell here. - Let me see. 824 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,800 The menu is good. It's a full menu. 825 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,400 What do you suggest? I don't understand any of it. 826 00:44:50,700 --> 00:44:51,600 Why not try a caramel macchiato. I'll put in an extra espresso shot. 827 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,600 Why not try a caramel macchiato. I'll put in an extra espresso shot. 828 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,400 Very well, fine. Give me a Karamallimohnettu zopressoshotter. 829 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,600 - What a menu! - Tall-grande-vinti. 830 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,400 What's that sir? Those are 3 different sizes. 831 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,500 Tall-grenti-finti, that's all I want, get on with it. 832 00:45:07,700 --> 00:45:09,800 God, do I have to wait till next morning? 833 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:10,600 Your name? 834 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:13,800 What, you need to verify my ID? 835 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,500 No, not that. I need you to give me your name... 836 00:45:16,700 --> 00:45:20,200 ...so that I can call you when your order is ready. 837 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:24,400 I don't give my name to people I don't know. 838 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,800 It's my rule. Write down my pseudonym. "Bear-strangler". 839 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,200 Ok then, Mr "Bear-strangler". 840 00:45:34,100 --> 00:45:36,300 Yeah, write whatever shit you want. 841 00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:38,000 Excuse me, could I have a serviette? 842 00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:39,800 - Daisygirl? - What? 843 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,000 I am "Bear-strangler". Daisygirl, right? 844 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,500 What daisy? What do you mean? 845 00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:48,300 I am "Bear-strangler". Pink clothes, we have a date. 846 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,800 - What the hell are you talking about? - I'll strangle the bear like so. 847 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,400 You crazy or what? You animal! Get lost! 848 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,600 God! Oh God! 849 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,200 God no! 850 00:45:58,400 --> 00:45:59,800 Brother Recep? 851 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,400 I've lost an eye. My eye! 852 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,200 My kidneys! 853 00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,100 Oh God! 854 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,100 [shouts wildly] 855 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,500 You want me to blow into it? 856 00:46:15,700 --> 00:46:20,000 My eye! I can't see! Where am I? 857 00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,600 Take me to the exit! Take me to the exit. 858 00:46:23,300 --> 00:46:25,500 Oh God! 859 00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,000 [shouting] 860 00:46:33,100 --> 00:46:36,900 Oh...She burned me Ali Kerem, she ruined me Mehmet Ali! 861 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,900 You didn't help me out, you didn't save me. Put some more on my eye. 862 00:46:40,100 --> 00:46:41,000 Ok. 863 00:46:41,700 --> 00:46:45,400 Oh God. That girl pepper-sprayed me right in the eyes. 864 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,400 And you couldn't do anything... Some more. 865 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:48,800 Ok. 866 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:55,500 She's blinded me. She made me blind Mehmet Ali! 867 00:46:55,700 --> 00:46:57,500 It's you who wanted the nickname. 868 00:46:57,700 --> 00:47:00,200 But you should have told me you fool. That nickname is a bit too awkward. 869 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,400 It's you who's so good with computers. 870 00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:03,900 Alright,I'll tell you what we'll do. 871 00:47:04,100 --> 00:47:06,700 We'll make a new profile and find a new nickname. 872 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,800 Do what you want. They've blinded me. 873 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,100 Oh my eyes are burned, Mehmet Ali! 874 00:47:13,300 --> 00:47:15,900 Is there a film that you like? We could use the names of your heroes? 875 00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:18,400 - There's a film I quite like, Karate Kid. - Karate Kid, what's that got to do with anything? 876 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:21,500 But I like it a lot. The way they do the moves. [imitates karate] 877 00:47:21,700 --> 00:47:24,900 There's a guy in it, Miyagi-Sen. Bzzzzzp, he catches a fly with his chopsticks. 878 00:47:25,100 --> 00:47:27,000 - Alright then, Karate Kid. - Write it in. 879 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:28,200 Karate Kid. 880 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,000 So we have to write things from the Far East as your hobbies. 881 00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,700 Good, write things related to the Far East. 882 00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:36,000 Yes, there are quite a few from the Far East in my family. 883 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,100 - From the Far East? - We were born in Kars. 884 00:47:38,300 --> 00:47:39,500 But Kars isn't in the Far East! 885 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,400 What, is it in the Near West? Shithead. 886 00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:43,900 Kars is in the Far East of Turkey. 887 00:47:43,900 --> 00:47:47,900 Kars is in the Far East of Turkey. 888 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,400 Do you want me to write sushi as your favourite food? 889 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:51,800 Write it. Write whatever you want. 890 00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:54,200 - This sushi stuff, does it taste good? - Yes. It's a Japanese thing. 891 00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:55,900 Good, write it in. Write it if it's Japanese. 892 00:47:59,200 --> 00:47:59,900 Ok. 893 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,500 I'm feeling a little better now. Is the chick coming tonight? 894 00:48:06,700 --> 00:48:08,600 Not this evening but we'll definitely get one or two tomorrow. 895 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,000 Alright then. I'm counting on you. 896 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,000 If it turns out like the last time, I'll rip your stupid hair out, do you hear? 897 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:18,200 I swear I'll straighten you out. 898 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,100 - Understood. - Take care. See you. 899 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,900 Ok girls. Let's have a look at your fortunes from this cup. 900 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,600 There's a saying- you shouldn't trust a fortune teller but you can't live without one. 901 00:48:31,900 --> 00:48:35,100 Isn't that so, Elizabeth? Oh I do love you. 902 00:48:35,300 --> 00:48:36,300 - Make a wish. - That's it. 903 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,400 Your wish will come true. 904 00:48:44,700 --> 00:48:45,900 Look closely now, I will tell you frankly what I see. 905 00:48:46,100 --> 00:48:47,800 Don't get angry... 906 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,300 Someone has something that is swelling for you. 907 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:54,900 They've got a crush on you. 908 00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:56,500 Keep an eye out for him. 909 00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,000 Look at this cup, see? 910 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,100 Yes, it speaks the truth. 911 00:49:01,300 --> 00:49:02,500 Yes but you know, my boyfriend Berkecan he doesn't understand me. 912 00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:06,500 Yes but you know, my boyfriend Berkecan he doesn't understand me. 913 00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,900 He never stops criticising me and doesn't stay faithful. 914 00:49:10,100 --> 00:49:11,600 I'm really down. 915 00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,600 Ok, but why are you talking like a sealion? 916 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,900 What is that? Sort yourself out. 917 00:49:21,100 --> 00:49:24,700 - Ok, who's next? - Brother Recep, you have a message. 918 00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:27,800 Didn't I tell you not to call me Brother Recep in public! 919 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,900 You have to call me Mr Recep sir. Say it. Mr Recep. 920 00:49:31,100 --> 00:49:32,800 - Mr Recep. - Go on, get lost. Go! 921 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:37,300 Get going. Give me the cup, Clémentine. 922 00:49:40,900 --> 00:49:43,800 Someone is inflating for you. Yes, you as well. 923 00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,300 I'm afraid it's the same for both of you. Pay attention. 924 00:49:47,500 --> 00:49:49,900 I'll explain it to you some other time. I have a little rendezvous I need to catch. 925 00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:51,400 I'll come back soon. In a little while. 926 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,300 Don't go anywhere, ok, Elizabeth? 927 00:49:53,500 --> 00:49:55,300 I will return Clémentine. 928 00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:05,600 Brother Recep. Brother Recep. 929 00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:07,800 Hey Brother Recep! 930 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,000 Why the hell are you disturbing me... 931 00:50:11,300 --> 00:50:13,200 ...while I'm performing my respiratory exercises? - What disturbing, you were sleeping. 932 00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:15,700 I'm trying to stay calm. 933 00:50:15,900 --> 00:50:17,800 I'm very nervous, come with me inside. 934 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,100 What am I supposed to do, pretend I'm your parent? 935 00:50:20,300 --> 00:50:22,800 - Can you hold my hand? - Hold your hand?. 936 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,600 - Yes please. - But you'll look ridiculous in front of the girl. 937 00:50:27,100 --> 00:50:31,100 Just go on, go inside now, be relaxed. Go sit at table number 12. 938 00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,200 Act like you come here every evening and eat sushi regularly. 939 00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:37,000 Understood. I'll try and stay calm. 940 00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,300 I'll act as though I always sit at table 12 and eat sushi. 941 00:50:40,500 --> 00:50:41,700 - Yes. - Great. 942 00:50:41,900 --> 00:50:42,600 Stay relaxed and calm. 943 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,600 I'm too nervous. I swear my legs aren't attached to my body. 944 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,800 There's only ever been two days in my life when I've been this excited. 945 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,100 The day I first had an injection and the day I first injected into somebody. 946 00:50:51,300 --> 00:50:52,100 What's with the injection talk? 947 00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:55,000 Perhaps I can make an injection into the girl after the dinner. 948 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,500 Oh I get it. Ok then, go on in. 949 00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,200 - Ok, ok, wish me luck. - Good luck. 950 00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,600 Yes, wish me luck. Wish me luck, my friend. 951 00:51:03,900 --> 00:51:06,000 Ok ok, I'll wish you luck brother Recep. 952 00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,600 - Peace be with you, young man. - Come in sir, welcome. 953 00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:14,400 - Are you called Fatih? - Yes sir, I am Fatih. 954 00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:14,900 A friend of mine has made a reservoir in my name on table 12. 955 00:51:14,900 --> 00:51:18,900 A friend of mine has made a reservoir in my name on table 12. 956 00:51:19,100 --> 00:51:21,400 - You mean a reservation? - Yes, a reservation. 957 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:22,700 Come, it's this way. 958 00:51:22,900 --> 00:51:24,700 Hold on, I need to warn you about something. 959 00:51:24,900 --> 00:51:28,100 The rendez-vous with this girl is very important to me. 960 00:51:28,300 --> 00:51:30,300 This is the first time I've come to SushiCo. 961 00:51:30,500 --> 00:51:34,200 Whenever I call 'Fatih', you must call me brother Recep... 962 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,400 ...as if I always come here and as if you know me very well. Understood? 963 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:37,600 Yes sir. 964 00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,400 Then I'll say, Fatih, bring me what I usually order... 965 00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,500 ...and you'll say of course brother Recep, right away... 966 00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:45,700 ...bring whatever you can find, just fill the table up. You understand? 967 00:51:45,900 --> 00:51:47,600 - Understood sir. - How will you refer to me? 968 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,700 - Brother Recep - When I say Fatih, come here? 969 00:51:49,900 --> 00:51:51,400 - Brother Recep. - Well done, my man. 970 00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,800 If you make a mistake I'll break your jaw and your nose. Now piss off. 971 00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:03,100 Bon appétit. Praise God, your hair is like a shoebrush. 972 00:52:03,500 --> 00:52:05,400 - Here we are sir. - Thank you Fatih. 973 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:09,300 How many guests will you have? 974 00:52:09,700 --> 00:52:12,100 There'll only be one girl, how many do you think? 975 00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:14,800 Do you take me for a pervert? We'll dine face-to-face. 976 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,400 Would you like a cold drink while you wait for your friend? 977 00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:20,800 By God, that would be good. Good idea. Bring me whatever you want. 978 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:21,800 Yes sir. 979 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,500 Hey wait, come back here. Bring me some bread, some bread. 980 00:52:24,700 --> 00:52:26,200 We don't have any bread here, brother Recep. 981 00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,700 What are you saying, you don't have bread here? 982 00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,200 Have I not been your customer for many years? 983 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,200 Send someone immediately to the market to get me some. 984 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:35,600 Right away brother Recep. 985 00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,000 Piss off. Dumb bastard. Telling me he's got no bread. 986 00:53:00,300 --> 00:53:01,700 Here you go sir, your bread... 987 00:53:02,100 --> 00:53:05,000 Thank you my man. A meal without bread is no meal at all! 988 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,200 - And your wine. - Thank you. 989 00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,500 You've got to taste it first right? Quality control. 990 00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:20,200 No... not very good. This isn't the exact flavour I want. 991 00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,100 Give me. 992 00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:26,400 No, this won't do either. 993 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:31,700 We'll try a bit of the white. 994 00:53:32,700 --> 00:53:34,000 Thanks. 995 00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:39,000 I tried it through the nasal cavity, you see? No, no good, take it away. 996 00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:46,700 This one's the closest. But still not it. 997 00:53:46,900 --> 00:53:48,300 We haven't found the one yet. 998 00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:50,100 You didn't piss in this one, did you? 999 00:53:51,500 --> 00:53:53,300 A bit too strong. Is it Bavarian? 1000 00:53:58,300 --> 00:54:01,400 That's the last bottle in the shop sir, there aren't any others left. 1001 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,300 What are you looking at? 1002 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,300 What? 1003 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,900 Nope, this isn't the taste I'm after. 1004 00:54:17,100 --> 00:54:20,600 The flavour is ok but the roundness and the body of it isn't as I'd like it to be. 1005 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:21,800 Here, you can take it back. 1006 00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,200 To be honest, I'm not really much of a wine lover. 1007 00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:25,800 Why do you keep giving me wine? 1008 00:54:26,100 --> 00:54:28,100 Bring me a barrel of beer. 1009 00:54:29,700 --> 00:54:31,000 Get going. God! 1010 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,700 Yes sir, brother Recep. 1011 00:54:32,900 --> 00:54:35,900 You just force the customer to drink wine. Just oblige him to drink the stuff. 1012 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,200 I'm drunk already, and I haven't even met the girl yet. 1013 00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:48,100 - Karate Kid? - Yakuza. 1014 00:54:48,300 --> 00:54:49,400 Yes. 1015 00:54:51,900 --> 00:54:53,200 Delighted. 1016 00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:57,800 - The pleasure's all mine. - But the sweat in your hand... 1017 00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,500 You should wipe your hand before coming to meet someone. 1018 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:08,200 How do you find me? Am I as you hoped? 1019 00:55:08,900 --> 00:55:12,700 Do you want me to be frank? Since we're friends. 1020 00:55:13,700 --> 00:55:17,100 You look a little fucked up. 1021 00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,000 You're the type that should be left in a scrapyard. Smashed, crushed, decomposed. 1022 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,000 Yes, you might have a good soul. 1023 00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,400 Yes, it's worth having a good soul, but what about the rest? 1024 00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,000 After all, we don't live in a world of spirits. 1025 00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:34,000 Therefore, the external beauty of a woman is also important to me. 1026 00:55:34,500 --> 00:55:36,500 I don't understand you Karate Kid. 1027 00:55:36,700 --> 00:55:39,200 Oh you'll understand, you'll get to understand. 1028 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,200 - Yes that's it, bring it here. - And this is Wasabi. 1029 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,100 Look Fatih! You're swimming in dangerous waters! 1030 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:53,700 - Oh you are funny, Karate Kid, that's for sure. - Very well. 1031 00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,600 - So do you like sushi a lot? - Yes, that's true. 1032 00:55:58,500 --> 00:56:00,900 Me too. For me, it's a way of life. 1033 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,400 I can say that I've been a fan of sushi since the age of three. 1034 00:56:04,700 --> 00:56:09,500 A way of life, a philosophy of life. Let me share an anecdote with you. 1035 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:13,300 When we first came to Istanbul, I was an only child in my family. 1036 00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:17,300 It's why I became so whimsical, and I never used to eat anything but sushi. 1037 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:20,600 Every morning I needed to eat two Nigiri sushis to wake myself up. 1038 00:56:21,100 --> 00:56:23,700 My mother used to work in the clothing sector. 1039 00:56:23,900 --> 00:56:25,400 In the Ümraniye neighbourhood. 1040 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,800 I will never forget that day in autumn... 1041 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:35,000 ...when my mother returned home, with a bit of bread in her hand. 1042 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,800 We were quite poor so she put... 1043 00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,900 ...two california rolls in the bread... 1044 00:56:44,500 --> 00:56:46,700 ...and some tempura ebi... 1045 00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,200 ...and we shared it amongst ourselves and ate it. 1046 00:56:52,300 --> 00:56:54,400 I always feel bad when I remember it. 1047 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:56,300 I always reminisce about those days. 1048 00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:02,000 Today I am able to dine on king-size and... 1049 00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,200 ...queen-size plates. 1050 00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:06,200 I've now ended up, after all that, in this good situation. 1051 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:10,800 My mother used to feed me every morning with Wasabi. 1052 00:57:11,300 --> 00:57:13,700 I used to eat so much of it. That's why I am so robust. 1053 00:57:13,900 --> 00:57:16,400 She used to feed me morsel by morsel. 1054 00:57:16,700 --> 00:57:20,200 She put a lot of effort into bringing me up. My dear mother! 1055 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,100 My mother! 1056 00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,200 You see this? This is what the Japanese call butter. 1057 00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:29,900 I eat this every morning. 1058 00:57:30,100 --> 00:57:31,600 Look, I spread it onto my bread, you see? 1059 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:33,900 I take a bit like this. 1060 00:57:34,100 --> 00:57:35,600 Then I spread like so. 1061 00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,400 But be careful! Wasabi is quite spicy, it might sting. 1062 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:42,000 Spice doesn't affect men like me, by God! 1063 00:57:57,900 --> 00:57:59,300 What's wrong? 1064 00:58:01,100 --> 00:58:04,100 But I told you the wasabi is quite hot, didn't I? 1065 00:58:10,700 --> 00:58:13,200 Put some sushi in your mouth. It will reduce the stinging. 1066 00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,000 What, this? 1067 00:58:17,100 --> 00:58:18,300 What the hell is this? 1068 00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:21,100 Nothing, it's just raw fish. What do you think? 1069 00:58:21,300 --> 00:58:22,800 - Raw fish? - Yes. 1070 00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:31,200 What's up with you now? Go away. 1071 00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:45,900 Go to hell! Disgusting! How much did you eat? 1072 00:58:46,100 --> 00:58:49,800 You might as well have eaten the whole restaurant! You overgrown oaf! 1073 00:58:50,300 --> 00:58:52,800 Go to hell! 1074 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,700 I am extremely sorry, forgive me. 1075 00:58:54,900 --> 00:58:58,400 Damn your sushi and your wasabi. Go to hell! 1076 00:58:59,500 --> 00:59:01,600 Let me go to the toilet. 1077 00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:06,700 Oy! Look me in the eyes when I'm speaking to you. 1078 00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:10,000 Look at what happened to me because of you. 1079 00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:13,000 The only thing I've never eaten is raw fish and thanks to you I had to go and eat it. 1080 00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:17,000 But what did I do bro? All I did was to wish you good luck. 1081 00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:19,800 Is pepper spray my good luck, huh? 1082 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:24,700 Is raw fish my good luck, heh? [mimics] "All I did was to wish you good luck." 1083 00:59:24,900 --> 00:59:27,800 "[mimics] I wish you good luck always brother. Anything for you, anything for you brother." 1084 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,700 -"The girl will be like turkish delight, like turkish delight" . - But she was! 1085 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:35,000 You half-breed Quasimodo. Just go do your job and ring bells. 1086 00:59:35,300 --> 00:59:36,800 Idiot. 1087 00:59:37,100 --> 00:59:40,400 You won't find any bitches on the internet, it's all bullshit. 1088 00:59:40,700 --> 00:59:43,000 We need to go direct to the source. 1089 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:46,200 Therefore in order to find chicks we must go to places in high society. 1090 00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:49,600 Yeah right? And where would that be? 1091 00:59:49,900 --> 00:59:51,900 - Yoga for example. - Yoga? 1092 00:59:52,100 --> 00:59:54,400 - Yes, Yoga. - We're going to do yoga? 1093 00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,900 Yes we'll go to a yoga class. You'll find super-hot chicks there. 1094 00:59:58,100 --> 01:00:01,000 Fine, take the photo quickly, then let's go for a drink to clear our heads. 1095 01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,100 Then we'll go yoga. - Ok, but brother Recep you're blocking the light. 1096 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:07,100 I'll break your jaw first then we'll see how I block the light. 1097 01:00:07,300 --> 01:00:09,000 You'll be seeing stars and angels, they'll be saying come, come to us young boy... 1098 01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:13,000 ...come to us young one, come... 1099 01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:15,900 Ay! 1100 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,600 Hello? Is no one here to serve customers? 1101 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,800 Welcome sir. How may I help you? 1102 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,400 I'm sorry, I didn't see you come in, love. I've come to join the yoga class. 1103 01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,700 Very well. We have a session beginning in half an hour. 1104 01:00:39,900 --> 01:00:42,200 What kind of yoga would you like to join? 1105 01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:46,000 - What kinds do you offer? - We have Feng-shui yoga and Tai-chi yoga. 1106 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,700 In that case, I'll choose Tahsin's yoga. 1107 01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:53,600 - Are you going to wear that? - Yes, of course. 1108 01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:56,800 I've been wearing this since primary school. It's high quality genuine, not fake. 1109 01:00:57,500 --> 01:00:58,600 I see. Very well. 1110 01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,500 You may go in if you wish, my colleagues will assist you. 1111 01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:02,800 Cheers. 1112 01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:07,200 Good day everyone, welcome. 1113 01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:11,600 We are going to learn the philosophy of yoga to begin with. 1114 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,400 Peace be with you, master. 1115 01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:18,500 Let's all do our yogas nicely, and start up social relationships. 1116 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,700 Shit, everyone here looks like a corpse. Why the hell did I come here... 1117 01:01:21,700 --> 01:01:25,700 Shit, everyone here looks like a corpse. Why the hell did I come here... 1118 01:01:27,900 --> 01:01:30,000 Here, please sit down. 1119 01:01:30,300 --> 01:01:33,300 One second, I'm sitting down. Thank you Master. 1120 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,400 In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 1121 01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:40,400 Let us greet our new friend. 1122 01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:48,100 Ok ladies, yoga is the art of relaxation and enlightening of the soul. 1123 01:01:48,300 --> 01:01:51,000 Is this man always relaxed like this? 1124 01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:53,800 Yes, Master Nilgun is always a calm and relaxed woman. 1125 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:54,400 Yeah yeah, all I see is an idiot. Where are you from young boy? 1126 01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:58,400 Yeah yeah, all I see is an idiot. Where are you from young boy? 1127 01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:05,100 First, we'll begin by relaxing our muscles. 1128 01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,200 Our first movement will be the lotus position. 1129 01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:15,200 Master, don't chat shit, this is just how we sit cross-legged at home. 1130 01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:17,600 No sir, that cross-legged position you refer to... 1131 01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,300 ...is how the tribesmen of Central Asia sit. 1132 01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:25,400 The Lotus, however, is one of the principal positions of yoga... 1133 01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,500 Master, don't try and fool us with all this talk of lotus-motus. 1134 01:02:28,700 --> 01:02:32,000 For centuries everyone in Anatolia sat like this and never once talked about lotus. 1135 01:02:32,900 --> 01:02:38,900 Never mind sir. Now let us move on to the second movement. 1136 01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,800 Shivava. 1137 01:02:54,300 --> 01:02:57,300 Hold on, this is something else! Just one second Master, excuse me. 1138 01:02:57,500 --> 01:03:00,700 Why are you trying to make us get into these positions, talking about Chiwawa-miwawa and Central Asia? 1139 01:03:00,900 --> 01:03:03,100 This is just the position kids get into to play leapfrog, Master. 1140 01:03:03,300 --> 01:03:06,000 Stop talking shit, what Chiwawa? 1141 01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,600 It's just the good old leapfrog we're playing here. 1142 01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,100 Please, do not interrupt sir. 1143 01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:14,000 Master, I don't mean to interrupt, but look at the state of this Irish boy next to me here. 1144 01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:18,100 My God, never again, I must repent. Oh Lord above, my dear prophet. 1145 01:03:18,300 --> 01:03:20,200 Look at what they're forcing us to do to 'relax' us. 1146 01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:22,800 For fuck's sake, this perv's just making us bend over to look at our asses. 1147 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:24,400 Is this how I'm supposed to relax, Master? 1148 01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:27,200 This is too uncomfortable, how are we supposed to relax like this? 1149 01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:28,400 My arms are shaking all over. 1150 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:31,200 Never mind, ok then. Let's return to our lotus position... 1151 01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:35,200 Never mind, ok then. Let's return to our lotus position... 1152 01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:41,100 ...and do some meditation to calm ourselves down. 1153 01:03:41,700 --> 01:03:44,800 God, she keeps putting me from position to position and expects me to stay calm. 1154 01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,500 Now let's close our eyes... 1155 01:03:48,700 --> 01:03:52,700 ...and imagine we're in a forest. 1156 01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:57,200 Imagine the birds around us... 1157 01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:58,600 They're closed Master. 1158 01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:00,500 The butterflies, the flowers, we are experiencing serenity. 1159 01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:04,500 The butterflies, the flowers, we are experiencing serenity. 1160 01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:08,800 Let's sleep. 1161 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,200 Let's relax. 1162 01:04:12,900 --> 01:04:14,800 Sleep. 1163 01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:18,300 Silence. 1164 01:04:19,100 --> 01:04:21,800 Forgive me, Master, I fell asleep, excuse me. 1165 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:24,400 And let us release the evil spirits within us. 1166 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:28,400 And let us release the evil spirits within us. 1167 01:04:29,900 --> 01:04:31,300 Let's release them. 1168 01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:32,900 Excuse me master, you're sure you want me to release them? 1169 01:04:33,100 --> 01:04:38,600 Release... Let go of the bad. 1170 01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,200 What the hell are you doing? 1171 01:04:44,700 --> 01:04:48,500 You said let go of my demons, so I did just that. 1172 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:51,600 Don't say oof-poof, you've been doing it since the beginning of the class. 1173 01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:55,100 You were releasing it onto the mat. I could hear you from here. 1174 01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:59,800 What kind of guy are you, as soon as your friend gets caught, you start going oof poof! 1175 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:04,000 Enough, that's enough! Get out! What kind of a dirty man are you? 1176 01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:06,200 I swear to you, you'll regret this Master. 1177 01:05:06,500 --> 01:05:06,800 You think you're good or something? Look at you, with your white hair, 1178 01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:10,800 You think you're good or something? Look at you, with your white hair, 1179 01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:14,600 You look just like Adnan Senses, it doesn't suit you at all. 1180 01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,700 You know nothing about yoga, you know nothing at all! 1181 01:05:17,900 --> 01:05:21,000 Me, I learned yoga from a real master. 1182 01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:25,600 I got privately tutored by the 14th dalai lama in person. 1183 01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:29,000 Stop talking about master-hasters, dalai-malay... 1184 01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:29,800 Or I swear I'll introduce my shoe-sole to your face. 1185 01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:33,800 Or I swear I'll introduce my shoe-sole to your face 1186 01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:38,400 What dal-lama are you talking of? She's talking to all of you. 1187 01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:40,800 Didn't you hear, she said there are 14 'dal-lama' [Turkish for pricks] in the class. 1188 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,200 Look,two, four, five, fourteen. 1189 01:05:43,500 --> 01:05:44,400 Get out! 1190 01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:45,700 Piss off, you Gandalf-wannabe. Come on Scottish boy, let's go. 1191 01:05:45,700 --> 01:05:49,700 Piss off, you Gandalf-wannabe. Come on Scottish boy, let's go. 1192 01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:54,500 Stand up, let's get out of here. Are you with me or not Scotty? 1193 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:57,200 Let's leave you Scottish bastard. Let's get the hell out of here. 1194 01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:02,000 Fuck you. Look at the state of this place. 1195 01:06:02,700 --> 01:06:05,200 I can't tell whether this is a yoga class... 1196 01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,700 ...or the morgue of Sisli-Etfal Hospital! As if I'd find hot girls here! 1197 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,900 Go on, have fun with these balls. 1198 01:06:13,900 --> 01:06:15,300 Get out! 1199 01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:17,200 Shut the hell up! 1200 01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:29,600 Hey Hakan. Can I come in? Thanks. 1201 01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:32,400 I am in disagreement with the office workers. 1202 01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:36,000 I decided to get your advice. 1203 01:06:36,300 --> 01:06:40,100 Should the photocopied documents be in Times New Roman... 1204 01:06:40,300 --> 01:06:44,300 ...bold italic Verdana, Tahoma bold, Arial bold italic... 1205 01:06:44,700 --> 01:06:48,000 ...or bold underlined or Times New Roman? 1206 01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:49,800 What on earth are you on about Recep? 1207 01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:54,800 Excuse me Hakan sir, what shall I do with these blank invitations? 1208 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:57,300 Fuck your blank invitations... 1209 01:06:57,500 --> 01:06:59,500 We're discussing something important here. Piss off! Get going. 1210 01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:03,500 I saw you at your desk, flirting with the tea-trolley man! 1211 01:07:05,300 --> 01:07:07,600 What were those invitations for my dear Hakan? 1212 01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,500 Those were invitations for the grand launch we've organised for the Japanese. 1213 01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:13,900 And tell me why, oh Hakan, I didn't also receive an invitation? 1214 01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,400 They're not for you Recep. What would you do there anyway? 1215 01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:20,200 Forget it man, the Japanese would just be chatting nonsense there. What's more, it's an unnerving atmosphere. 1216 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:23,400 - Why? I am the vice-boss. - You'll need to wear a tuxedo as well. 1217 01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:26,100 What makes you think I don't have a tuxedo, shithead? 1218 01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:28,200 - You've got a tux? - Of course I have. 1219 01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:30,800 - A dark coloured one? - Very dark. 1220 01:07:31,500 --> 01:07:33,200 Fine, then. You can come as well. 1221 01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:36,300 Good, may God be with you always. You are an intelligent man. 1222 01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:40,200 - Can I bring a friend? - Yes. 1223 01:07:40,700 --> 01:07:44,600 - He has curly hair, will it be a problem? - You can bring whoever you want. 1224 01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:46,400 Thanks. May God be with you. 1225 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:50,700 Do we have add a "please call back" to these invitations? 1226 01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,200 No. 1227 01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:55,200 Ok, thanks again. Good, I'll see you there. 1228 01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:59,400 Don't work too hard, you're looking tired. You look like a raccoon, a raccoon for goodness sake. 1229 01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:17,800 Isn't there a better quality shop than this? This place is quite crap. 1230 01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,600 Listen, you won't find any better than this. We're in Modesan after all, you know. 1231 01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,500 This is my friend Metin's shop. One day, Metin will make it real big, he'll be the market leader. 1232 01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:28,800 Hey hey, my man Recep. Welcome back. 1233 01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:31,300 Peace be with you brother Metin. 1234 01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:34,400 And also with you my dear friend. So how can I help you? 1235 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,400 Bro, let me lay it out for you- I've gotta meet some Japanese... 1236 01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:41,100 ...so I'll need a smart tuxedo, that'd suit the atmosphere. 1237 01:08:41,300 --> 01:08:45,800 Let me tell you something. I swear you're one lucky man. 1238 01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:50,000 We couldn't tailor such a suit even if you gave us a year to do it. 1239 01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:54,200 But I've got a Japanese suit, with some designs on the back. 1240 01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:56,900 Try it on, you'll see. 1241 01:08:57,100 --> 01:09:00,200 When you enter that room, even if there are one and a half thousand in there... 1242 01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:02,300 ...all eyes will be on you. - Alright give me it, I'll try it right away. 1243 01:09:02,500 --> 01:09:02,800 - As you wish, right away. - My friend here also needs a costume. 1244 01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:06,800 - As you wish, right away. - My friend here also needs a costume. 1245 01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,000 We need to also find him a good design... 1246 01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:11,400 ...otherwise he'll feel left out, unfortunate wretch. 1247 01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:15,500 Sure. There's a lot of clothes here my boy. 1248 01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:19,700 It's all on me by the way. Hakan's paid me my first salary, 200 TL. 1249 01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:22,200 Wow, wow, wow. This is one top class jacket... 1250 01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:26,200 Wow, wow, wow. This is one top class jacket... 1251 01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:28,100 Wear it with joy. 1252 01:09:28,300 --> 01:09:31,300 Bro, it's texture is excellent, but isn't it a bit too glossy? 1253 01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:34,600 Oh no, not at all. There's nothing else more original. 1254 01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:37,900 Look, it fits you perfectly. 1255 01:09:38,100 --> 01:09:41,500 - Brother, I don't think it's so good... - And why would you say that, idiot? 1256 01:09:41,700 --> 01:09:44,400 You know nothing about fashion. I am a fashion expert. 1257 01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:47,400 Yeah, what do you understand about the world of fashion? Imbecile, Imbecile! 1258 01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:50,200 He is the expert on fashion. Metin brother, get him out. 1259 01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:53,000 What an idiot. What kind of clothes he wears, no fashion sense at all. 1260 01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:56,400 But this is today's youth- all ignoramuses. Never listen to them. 1261 01:09:56,900 --> 01:10:00,500 Look here, this emblem on the chest, this is the badge of the Prime Minister of Japan. 1262 01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,500 Turn around. See, the same on the back. 1263 01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:06,700 Everyone is going to be awed by you. 1264 01:10:06,900 --> 01:10:09,600 You be sure you wear it to the ball. 1265 01:10:24,100 --> 01:10:26,000 Oy lanky, come here. 1266 01:10:26,700 --> 01:10:28,400 Now piss off. 1267 01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:31,200 Look at her walking in front, trying to show off. 1268 01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:35,600 You know, the jacket didn't look great in the shop... 1269 01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:37,000 ...but in here it looks really good on you. 1270 01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:39,100 Look kid, I told you, the man was a fashion guru. 1271 01:10:39,300 --> 01:10:42,000 The guy told me: "the material might not look that great here,..." 1272 01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,400 "but when you go to that party, it'll soak up all the ambience and electricity there... 1273 01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:47,200 ...and shine it on their faces". 1274 01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:48,800 - He was right. - Of course he was right. 1275 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:50,400 - Would you like some? - We would. What is it? 1276 01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:52,400 - Canapé vol-au-vents, sir. - Canapé? 1277 01:10:52,600 --> 01:10:55,800 Look at the size of the canapé, but then look at the size of my buttocks. 1278 01:10:56,600 --> 01:10:58,900 How would this size of canapé ever fill me up? 1279 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:02,600 Even if you considered just one of my arse-cheeks, the canapé would be nowhere near enough! 1280 01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:05,100 Take one. 1281 01:11:06,500 --> 01:11:07,700 I'll take some. 1282 01:11:10,700 --> 01:11:13,100 - Tastes real good. - Yeah. Let's try this one as well. 1283 01:11:14,600 --> 01:11:17,600 - Your health. - What is this? 1284 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,600 - It is caviar, sir. - What the hell is caviar? 1285 01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:21,200 The eggs of fish. 1286 01:11:29,200 --> 01:11:31,600 May God punish you for what you've done! 1287 01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,100 Piss off! Making us eat the dirtiest part of fish, we spent a million dollars on catering in this party! 1288 01:11:33,100 --> 01:11:37,100 Piss off! Making us eat the dirtiest part of fish, we spent a million dollars on catering in this party! 1289 01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:40,400 - The most disgusting part of the fish! - What are you doing bro? 1290 01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:42,900 You don't expect me to eat the shit of fish now do you? 1291 01:11:51,700 --> 01:11:55,700 Sir, they wish to thank you for this marvellous, wonderful reception. 1292 01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:59,200 I'm the one who should thank you. You came a very long way. Thank you. 1293 01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:06,500 Hi l am very big fun of yours. When your player for the Gullit? Gullit? 1294 01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:15,200 Hi! Mrs. India! where are you yaaa? 1295 01:12:15,700 --> 01:12:18,100 - Are you mad? - For the Kenya? 1296 01:12:21,300 --> 01:12:23,700 Meto! Meto! Look! Look at that man. 1297 01:12:23,900 --> 01:12:26,400 It's the logo of our organisation. 1298 01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:29,000 Yes. yes. 1299 01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:33,200 That guy must be the underworld boss of the Middle East! 1300 01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:37,300 It must be him for sure. 1301 01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:45,200 Sir, they are very interested in that man over there. 1302 01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:48,000 They say they would like to make his acquaintance. 1303 01:12:49,300 --> 01:12:53,000 Recep. Recep. Over here! 1304 01:12:53,700 --> 01:12:55,600 - Me? - Come, brother, come. 1305 01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:01,900 What's up Hakan? 1306 01:13:02,100 --> 01:13:04,600 These are our Japanese clients, they wanted to make your acquaintance. 1307 01:13:04,800 --> 01:13:06,900 Hiroshi, Makato, Meto. 1308 01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:10,400 Nice to meet you Meto, pleasure to have met you also Makato... 1309 01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:13,200 And same to you Hiroshi. I really like the Japanese. 1310 01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:15,400 These are very respectable people. Very bold men. 1311 01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,500 You know, I actually speak Japanese very well. 1312 01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,400 Don't fuck me there, fuck me here. 1313 01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:27,500 What if these guys understand Turkish... 1314 01:13:27,700 --> 01:13:30,600 Look, here's another one. Shoved it in too far, had to withdraw. 1315 01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:35,800 Ah yes, of course you'd laugh like this. 1316 01:13:37,300 --> 01:13:39,700 This is turkish comedy. Turkish joke. 1317 01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:44,400 You three are great guys, I respect you very much. 1318 01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:48,900 You are most welcome in our country. Welcome my lions, my bulls. 1319 01:13:53,700 --> 01:13:57,500 Sir, they are asking for your permission to go to the bathroom. 1320 01:13:57,700 --> 01:14:01,400 They may go, but translate this well: tell them to aim properly ok? 1321 01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:05,000 I don't want to see any splashes on the sides. Remind them to lift the lid too. 1322 01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:08,900 Bruv, you're turning this place into a stable. What are you playing at? Oof. 1323 01:14:09,100 --> 01:14:12,400 What do you mean, this is called human relations. Mutual human relations. 1324 01:14:12,700 --> 01:14:15,700 This is an international language, man. I showed them my warmth, affection, my friendliness. 1325 01:14:15,900 --> 01:14:17,600 I showed them my Turkish side. 1326 01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:19,800 What nonsense are you talking, Recep? These are not your close friends. 1327 01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:22,200 The situation is awkward enough already. 1328 01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:25,200 Excuse me, but the situation is awkward only because your party is like my ass. 1329 01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:29,000 I'm sorry, but you've organised this party like a funeral home- it's a disgrace! 1330 01:14:29,200 --> 01:14:32,000 Look, I've spared no expense, I even got the best DJ. 1331 01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:33,400 Everything is perfect, man. 1332 01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:37,600 A real party wouldn't be like this. The DJ, the atmosphere wouldn't be like this. 1333 01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:41,400 You should have left it to me, entertainment, that's my job. 1334 01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:43,900 I'm begging you Recep, please don't do anything. Please, just stay aside. 1335 01:14:44,100 --> 01:14:46,700 Ok, you just enjoy yourself... Where's the DJ's cabin? DJ! 1336 01:14:54,300 --> 01:14:54,600 Excuse me bro, does your music setup... 1337 01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:58,600 Excuse me bro, does your music setup... 1338 01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:02,300 ...have a USA memory card slot? - Yes sir. 1339 01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:04,400 - Where my friend? - Here. 1340 01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:07,400 Ah yes, it's a very beautiful slot. Very beautiful. 1341 01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:11,600 - Oh God! Look they're towing away a car! - Where? 1342 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:14,900 Look over there, they're towing a car away, is it yours? 1343 01:15:15,100 --> 01:15:17,400 - I don't know, I'll go see. - Go on, have a look idiot. 1344 01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:19,900 They're taking your car. What an idiot... 1345 01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:24,700 His IQ is zero, and still dreaming of DJing, huh. Alright, let's see. 1346 01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:36,100 Music out, the other CD in... 1347 01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:51,500 Dance! Dance you pussies! 1348 01:15:57,600 --> 01:16:00,800 YEAAAH! This is real fun. 1349 01:17:33,900 --> 01:17:34,700 Sir, they cannot accept the campaign launch in October. 1350 01:17:34,700 --> 01:17:38,700 Sir, they cannot accept the campaign launch in October. 1351 01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:42,000 They say they cannot sign to these conditions. 1352 01:17:42,200 --> 01:17:44,100 But we've already discussed the terms of the agreement. 1353 01:17:44,300 --> 01:17:46,600 Why have they changed their minds now? Ask them. 1354 01:18:00,800 --> 01:18:01,300 Come on, my son. Do it for me. 1355 01:18:01,300 --> 01:18:05,300 Come on, my son. Do it for me. 1356 01:18:07,500 --> 01:18:08,900 Please go and shut him up. 1357 01:18:08,900 --> 01:18:11,400 Come on, come to daddy... 1358 01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:14,700 Run to me my boy. 1359 01:18:14,900 --> 01:18:18,500 Mr Recep sir, a little quiet, please. There's a meeting going on inside at the moment. 1360 01:18:18,700 --> 01:18:21,600 If there is a meeting, you should have called me as well, my friend. 1361 01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:30,600 Sit down, sit down, it's alright. These Japanese kids are really respectable chaps. 1362 01:18:30,800 --> 01:18:32,100 What's going on here then Hakan? 1363 01:18:32,300 --> 01:18:35,500 - We are in a meeting right now. - So why didn't you call me? 1364 01:18:35,700 --> 01:18:38,300 - Aren't I the vice-boss? - Look, everything is already messed up as it is. 1365 01:18:38,700 --> 01:18:41,600 - What the hell's happened? - They don't want to sign the agreement. 1366 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:44,400 What, these lot, they're refusing to sign? 1367 01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:47,800 Don't worry, I'll sort it. Stand aside, stay back. 1368 01:18:52,700 --> 01:18:54,800 What seems to be the problem, fellas? 1369 01:18:59,100 --> 01:19:03,000 Takashi, Makat? Hiroshi? Huh? 1370 01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:09,200 What the fuck is your problem? You think you're good now or something? 1371 01:19:11,500 --> 01:19:13,800 Huh? Have you come all the way here to play around with us? 1372 01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,200 You bastards, you've been eating and drinking our food for three days... 1373 01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:19,600 and you're staying free of charge at a top hotel, thanks to this boy! 1374 01:19:21,100 --> 01:19:23,700 These guys have been working on this deal for four months! 1375 01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:26,200 So what's your friggin' problem? 1376 01:19:26,700 --> 01:19:28,600 Be real men. 1377 01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:31,300 Be real men and make sure you don't piss me off! 1378 01:19:31,500 --> 01:19:34,900 I swear I'll smash your skulls, I swear it by God! 1379 01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:40,700 I swear I'll shove my shoes in your face, so don't make me mad! 1380 01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:46,400 Look, he's my cousin- anything you do to him, you do to me. 1381 01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:50,000 In my opinion, I think we should sign. 1382 01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:51,400 Quick, quick, he's the mob kingpin... 1383 01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:52,700 ...we simply must sign right away. 1384 01:19:52,900 --> 01:19:55,300 Get on with it, translate what I said, they have ten seconds to sign. 1385 01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:01,700 That's it, now we're in harmony. 1386 01:20:01,900 --> 01:20:04,500 You see, if we can apply like this we can have harmonisation across all of Europe. 1387 01:20:04,700 --> 01:20:08,500 If you wish, we could have mutual relations. 1388 01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:12,300 We could meet many times, we could even go see you in Tokyo. 1389 01:20:12,500 --> 01:20:16,300 You could come here too, we'd arrange marriages, get some new relations between our families. 1390 01:20:16,800 --> 01:20:17,900 Is that ok, Hakan? 1391 01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:19,900 They signed, I'm not dreaming am I? 1392 01:20:20,100 --> 01:20:22,200 - Yes, of course they signed. - Recep, you're a genius. 1393 01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:24,300 Idiot, don't make daft gestures. 1394 01:20:24,500 --> 01:20:26,700 Bruv, these guys are giants in their sector, market leaders. We've got them on our side. 1395 01:20:26,900 --> 01:20:30,300 If it weren't for me you would have humiliated us in front of these giants. World giants! 1396 01:20:30,500 --> 01:20:31,300 Move your arm idiot, do you want to get it broken? Keep working hard, son. 1397 01:20:31,300 --> 01:20:35,300 Move your arm idiot, do you want to get it broken? Keep working hard, son. 1398 01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:38,000 Send my shoes to my office afterwards. 1399 01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:39,100 Is that really their signature? 1400 01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:43,000 It is my utmost pleasure to invite to the stage, the owner of the Alaaddin advertising company, 1401 01:20:43,200 --> 01:20:46,600 The company that signed the biggest advertising contract of the year: 1402 01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:50,500 ...Mr Hakan... Hakan Ivedik. 1403 01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:52,900 Bravo boss. 1404 01:20:56,100 --> 01:20:58,300 Go forth my lion, my lion! 1405 01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:04,700 Thank you very much. It's so good to see you all here. 1406 01:21:05,100 --> 01:21:08,300 Our company has become a world leader... 1407 01:21:08,500 --> 01:21:10,200 ...in a very short amount of time. 1408 01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:13,600 But the real architect of this achievement is my brother, my cousin... 1409 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:17,600 ...my business partner, Recep Ivedik. 1410 01:21:18,400 --> 01:21:21,400 For this reason, I think that Recep Ivedik should be taking this stage instead of me. 1411 01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:22,900 Recep, could you please come up here... 1412 01:21:23,100 --> 01:21:26,300 No Hakan, no, sort it out yourself, don't get me involved in this please. 1413 01:21:26,500 --> 01:21:30,500 Please Recep, don't disappoint us. Let's all give him a round of applause, for encouragement. 1414 01:21:30,800 --> 01:21:34,500 Stop clapping! Don't applaud! I said stop clapping, idiots! 1415 01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:37,100 Thank you, thank you so much. May God be with you all. 1416 01:21:45,500 --> 01:21:49,000 - Wait till I.... - AAAAHH!!! GOD, GOD, a dead cat! A dead cat! 1417 01:21:49,500 --> 01:21:51,600 By God, I'll break your mouth. 1418 01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:53,600 Excuse me. 1419 01:21:59,700 --> 01:22:02,500 And here he is, Recep Ivedik. 1420 01:22:05,500 --> 01:22:07,300 But what the hell should I say? What the fuck am I going to talk about? 1421 01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:10,900 Just talk about globalisation, about the economy, come on you'll be fine. 1422 01:22:11,100 --> 01:22:13,000 Alright then. Get lost now. 1423 01:22:13,400 --> 01:22:17,400 Yes, I greet you all with respect. 1424 01:22:17,900 --> 01:22:18,200 First of all, I must say it surprises me... 1425 01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:22,200 First of all, I must say it surprises me... 1426 01:22:22,400 --> 01:22:25,400 ...to see so many bigwigs in Istanbul. 1427 01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:28,700 You're all like beads on a string. Be like real men, why don't you. 1428 01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:36,000 I would like to tell you a bit about a philosophy which I've followed since childhood. 1429 01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:38,600 The grasshopper and the ant. 1430 01:22:38,800 --> 01:22:41,500 The grasshopper and the ant were in the field, when... 1431 01:22:41,700 --> 01:22:43,800 ...the ant said "Listen well my son, because... 1432 01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:45,400 ...of global warming caused by globalisation... 1433 01:22:45,600 --> 01:22:48,300 ...the dollar will surge and the price of a barrel of oil will fall." 1434 01:22:48,500 --> 01:22:50,400 "So be clever and work hard like a man". 1435 01:22:50,600 --> 01:22:54,600 The grasshopper responded,"What the hell do you know? You live under the ground. 1436 01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:58,000 You live in a little hole, all you do is carry the shit of people... 1437 01:22:58,200 --> 01:23:00,800 ...to your house. Why should I listen to you?" 1438 01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:03,300 "You swim in people's saliva as though it were a swimming pool, get lost!". 1439 01:23:03,900 --> 01:23:06,000 The ant replied, "We will see later." And then he left. 1440 01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:09,200 The winter came, and one day the ant was having a sex party in his house... 1441 01:23:09,400 --> 01:23:11,600 with about 25 of his friends, boys and girls, they were having a fun. 1442 01:23:11,800 --> 01:23:13,700 When suddenly someone knocked at the door. 1443 01:23:13,900 --> 01:23:16,600 He opened the door, and saw the grasshopper there, dishevelled and exhausted. 1444 01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:20,800 "Do you remember," said the ant "in the summer when I spoke with you in the field?" 1445 01:23:21,000 --> 01:23:24,800 "Would you be kind enough to give me some rice and a box of butter" asked the grasshopper. 1446 01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:29,000 The ant replied "But you are truly an idiot... 1447 01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:31,600 ...a dishonourable wretch." 1448 01:23:32,100 --> 01:23:33,800 I warned you, he said. 1449 01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:36,600 "Remember, when I was carrying a sunflower seed on my back, I warned you didn't I? 1450 01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:37,200 ...I warned you didn't I!" he said. "If I hadn't I wouldn't... 1451 01:23:37,200 --> 01:23:41,200 ...I warned you didn't I!" he said. "If I hadn't I wouldn't... 1452 01:23:41,400 --> 01:23:42,600 ...get this angry, you bastard!" 1453 01:23:42,800 --> 01:23:44,400 The grasshopper replied: "What the fuck are you shouting for?" 1454 01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:47,200 Don't piss me off, I'm really not in the mood for it. 1455 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:49,800 The ant replied: "Get the fuck out of here, or... 1456 01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:52,000 ...I swear to God I'll call the raccoons." 1457 01:23:52,200 --> 01:23:53,400 "You fuck off!" said the grasshopper. 1458 01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:56,400 He grabbed the ant's antennae, and broke his hind leg... 1459 01:23:56,600 --> 01:23:58,900 ...there was a terrible fight, with blood flowing everywhere. 1460 01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:01,700 It went on till the evening. 1461 01:24:01,900 --> 01:24:04,300 Anyway, I don't know why I told you all this, but in the end, to conclude... 1462 01:24:05,000 --> 01:24:10,500 ...as they say, the seals are very lonely. 1463 01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:13,600 In short, I feel most aggrieved. 1464 01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:14,100 In a world where we lose 45cm of glacier ice every day from our planet, damn it all... 1465 01:24:14,100 --> 01:24:18,100 In a world where we lose 45cm of glacier ice every day from our planet, damn it all... 1466 01:24:18,300 --> 01:24:21,800 I'm telling you, it's fucked up... All fucked up I tell you. 1467 01:24:22,000 --> 01:24:23,400 I have one principle. 1468 01:24:24,200 --> 01:24:30,800 Listen well; before the wheat begins to bud the blind calf does not limp. 1469 01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:10,700 I salute you all with utmost respect. 1470 01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:19,400 Take the photos. 1471 01:25:44,500 --> 01:25:47,900 Son of a donkey, you've been using my phrases again? 1472 01:25:48,100 --> 01:25:49,500 But those words are mine grandma... 1473 01:25:49,700 --> 01:25:50,500 Oh yeah? 1474 01:25:50,700 --> 01:25:54,000 Before the crop begins to bud the blind calf does not limp... 1475 01:25:54,200 --> 01:25:55,100 ...that's my words. 1476 01:25:55,300 --> 01:25:58,700 God, it's so difficult to satisfy you. Look, I've bought you a PlayStation 3. 1477 01:25:58,900 --> 01:26:02,900 Ok, you got me a PS3, but I want a high definition TV as well. 1478 01:26:03,300 --> 01:26:05,900 Alright, I'll buy you a television in high definition. 1479 01:26:06,100 --> 01:26:08,000 Good. And what have you done about your girl problem? 1480 01:26:08,200 --> 01:26:11,300 One thing at a time, grandma. I can't do everything at once! 1481 01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:13,400 When are you going to get married? When will you find a nice girl? 1482 01:26:13,600 --> 01:26:15,300 When are you going to show her to me? 1483 01:26:15,500 --> 01:26:17,400 I'll show you the girl when I bring your television. 1484 01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:19,700 Come, let me fuck you over at a game of PES. 1485 01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:21,400 Quick, get over here. You've spoken enough, that'll do. 1486 01:26:22,100 --> 01:26:25,000 Alright, let's play on the PS3. Let me just install it first. 1487 01:26:25,300 --> 01:26:27,600 Ok, but we'll see who's going to get fucked over by who. 1488 01:26:27,900 --> 01:26:30,400 Maybe I'll fuck you over twice and you might once. 1489 01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:30,900 Get a move on. 1490 01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:48,300 - Why the hell did you bring me here? - Golf is a way of life, man. 1491 01:26:48,500 --> 01:26:50,400 It's time for you to learn new things like this. 1492 01:26:51,600 --> 01:26:54,600 Is this game based on çelik çomak (turkish cricket)? 1493 01:26:54,800 --> 01:26:56,800 Not really. Let me just show you how it's done. 1494 01:26:59,000 --> 01:27:01,600 Now look, the feet should be parallel to the ball like so. 1495 01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:02,900 Like this? 1496 01:27:03,100 --> 01:27:05,200 No, no not like that. Turn them a bit this way. 1497 01:27:05,400 --> 01:27:06,100 Like this? 1498 01:27:06,300 --> 01:27:07,400 No, no. A bit more to the right. Parallel. 1499 01:27:07,600 --> 01:27:08,100 Like this, huh? 1500 01:27:08,300 --> 01:27:11,600 Yeah, that's good. Now bend your thighs a little. 1501 01:27:11,800 --> 01:27:13,600 Ok. Good. Splendid. 1502 01:27:13,800 --> 01:27:15,400 Oh, you mean the shit-taking position. 1503 01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:18,900 Well, not quite. Ah. Raise your chest a bit more. 1504 01:27:19,100 --> 01:27:20,800 Keep your chest upright. 1505 01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:22,700 - What the hell are you doing? - Recep, a bit higher. 1506 01:27:22,900 --> 01:27:25,500 Oy! What the fuck do you think you're doing? 1507 01:27:25,700 --> 01:27:26,800 I'm just showing you how, man. 1508 01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:29,600 How can someone try to fuck their own cousin pretending to teach him! 1509 01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:31,300 Recep man, I'm just trying to teach you to play golf here. 1510 01:27:31,500 --> 01:27:33,900 You brought me to this quiet field to teach me golf... 1511 01:27:34,200 --> 01:27:36,200 ...but all you're doing is trying to forcefully enter my anus! You worthless prick! 1512 01:27:36,400 --> 01:27:39,900 - You might as well take me into the forest while you're at it! - Look, people are staring, keep it down. 1513 01:27:40,100 --> 01:27:43,300 Move the fuck away! Get into your little green square! 1514 01:27:43,700 --> 01:27:45,800 If you think you know so much, just do it yourself. For God's sake! 1515 01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:48,000 Just watch me, you idiot. 1516 01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:55,900 What happened there, heh? Huh?? Shithead, what was that then? 1517 01:27:56,600 --> 01:27:59,700 My grandfather was one of the best golfers around, he used to play on a horse. 1518 01:27:59,900 --> 01:28:02,500 Like this, on the horse, he used to throw it like this, from the horse. 1519 01:28:02,700 --> 01:28:05,000 This game was passed down from our forefathers! 1520 01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:07,700 I'll be at the 14th. I'll wait for you there. 1521 01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:10,300 I've been playing for eight years, and I've never hit it as far as that. 1522 01:28:11,000 --> 01:28:13,700 I can't believe it. I will never play golf again. 1523 01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:26,200 What are you doing? - Move the fuck out of the way! 1524 01:28:26,400 --> 01:28:29,200 - I'm trying to take a shot here. - Stand aside my friend. 1525 01:28:29,400 --> 01:28:31,200 Does this field belong to your father or something? 1526 01:28:31,400 --> 01:28:33,400 My friend, are you looking for a fight? 1527 01:28:33,800 --> 01:28:35,600 - Just get out of my face - Just fuck off to the side! 1528 01:28:35,800 --> 01:28:39,000 - We're playing golf, can't you see? - My car needs to go through here! 1529 01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:43,600 - Calm down bruv. - Alright, I'll smash your head with this lever. 1530 01:28:43,800 --> 01:28:47,300 I swear, I'm going to break your mouth with this lever! By God I swear! 1531 01:28:48,500 --> 01:28:52,400 - Recep, what are you playing at, man? - What, what? What's your problem grandad? 1532 01:28:53,200 --> 01:28:55,400 Recep man, just leave it. We're on a golf course, what are you doing? 1533 01:28:55,600 --> 01:28:59,200 I've told you politely! I'll just split your head in two, like this. 1534 01:29:00,100 --> 01:29:02,800 But bruv, this is a golf course. You can't fight here. 1535 01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:04,600 You think you're a hero or something? 1536 01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:06,200 Sorry. 1537 01:29:14,600 --> 01:29:17,000 Mate, I'm in deep shit with my grandmother you know. 1538 01:29:17,300 --> 01:29:20,400 -Just because I look like this, don't think I've got it easy. - Grandma's really old though... 1539 01:29:20,700 --> 01:29:23,700 She might be old, but her brain functions really well. 1540 01:29:24,100 --> 01:29:25,800 She just keeps yelling at me, find a job, find a job, get respect, get respect... 1541 01:29:25,800 --> 01:29:29,800 She just keeps yelling at me, find a job, find a job, get respect, get respect... 1542 01:29:30,500 --> 01:29:33,700 And now, get married, get married. I'm under huge pressure you know. 1543 01:29:35,100 --> 01:29:38,200 Bro, everything'll be fine. One day, a girl will turn up and you'll get married. 1544 01:29:38,400 --> 01:29:41,200 You know, it was your help that I managed to get a job. 1545 01:29:41,400 --> 01:29:43,000 The same goes for how I gained respect. 1546 01:29:43,200 --> 01:29:45,300 All that's left is to find one girl, we need to find a solution. 1547 01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:47,300 Don't worry about it. 1548 01:29:47,900 --> 01:29:50,400 - You like the tomato? - Very nice. Is it a village tomato? 1549 01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:52,800 No man, it's not from the village, it's organic, organic. 1550 01:29:53,000 --> 01:29:55,600 I paid 35 TL (~£20) per kilo for them. 1551 01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:58,100 I always eat organic food. 1552 01:29:58,400 --> 01:30:02,200 Man, if you had brought a swiss-knife or something, we could have cut it into pieces. 1553 01:30:02,400 --> 01:30:04,400 What do you need a swiss-knife for? Rid yourself of these posh tendencies. 1554 01:30:04,600 --> 01:30:07,200 You just take the tomato and put your fist in, like this. 1555 01:30:07,600 --> 01:30:09,500 That's how it's done. Here. 1556 01:30:14,300 --> 01:30:17,600 Oy! What is this? This? 1557 01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:18,600 Sorry. 1558 01:30:19,100 --> 01:30:22,100 Go play somewhere else! Go, move to another field! 1559 01:30:22,300 --> 01:30:23,500 Calm down. 1560 01:30:23,700 --> 01:30:27,000 We're having a nice picnic here and you're chucking balls at our heads! 1561 01:30:27,300 --> 01:30:30,000 If it comes here one more time, I swear I'll cut your balls off! 1562 01:30:30,300 --> 01:30:33,900 I swear I'll just chop them off! Piss off! 1563 01:30:35,600 --> 01:30:37,000 Are you crazy? 1564 01:30:37,200 --> 01:30:41,200 Stop making hand signals from there! You'll get an egg chucked on your head, I tell you. 1565 01:30:42,300 --> 01:30:47,100 I'll lob tomatoes on your heads! Don't make me mad! 1566 01:30:55,400 --> 01:30:57,200 - Ali Kerem? - Yes, my dear. 1567 01:30:57,400 --> 01:30:59,800 I'm having a birthday party this weekend. You coming? 1568 01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:00,600 'Course I am, I wouldn't miss it. 1569 01:31:00,800 --> 01:31:03,200 It's a fancy dress party. You have to wear peculiar costumes. 1570 01:31:03,400 --> 01:31:04,100 - Yeah I will. - Fine, see you there. 1571 01:31:04,300 --> 01:31:08,000 Oy, look, I'll come as well, yeah? I'll come, yeah? 1572 01:31:08,500 --> 01:31:10,900 - Brother, shall we go? - She didn't invite me. 1573 01:31:11,200 --> 01:31:14,200 - There'll be some interesting girls there... - Look man, I'm not invited. 1574 01:31:14,600 --> 01:31:18,300 - So what, we'll still go. - But she didn't invite me to the party you idiot. 1575 01:31:18,500 --> 01:31:21,000 - Whatever man, we can still go. - Why the fuck are you rubbing it in? 1576 01:31:21,200 --> 01:31:22,300 Fucking rubbing it in my face, just because you got invited and I didn't! 1577 01:31:22,300 --> 01:31:26,300 Fucking rubbing it in my face, just because you got invited and I didn't! 1578 01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:30,400 - We'll photocopy an invitation, don't worry. - Shut up, don't come near me. 1579 01:31:31,000 --> 01:31:33,200 Curly haired monkey! 1580 01:32:02,000 --> 01:32:04,900 Not only did you force me to come to this party uninvited... 1581 01:32:05,100 --> 01:32:07,100 ...but you make me come disguised as a bunny rabbit. 1582 01:32:07,300 --> 01:32:08,000 Where's your head at, idiot? 1583 01:32:08,200 --> 01:32:10,400 Don't get angry man. You actually look quite cute in that. 1584 01:32:11,200 --> 01:32:13,800 Oh Lord God, for the sake of the prophet, give me patience... 1585 01:32:14,000 --> 01:32:16,800 Look, go and chat with those girls. There's so many of them there. 1586 01:32:17,000 --> 01:32:18,400 - Where? - Over there. 1587 01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:20,500 - Those are girls? - Yeah. 1588 01:32:20,700 --> 01:32:23,500 These things you call girls, all I see is an elephant, a monkey... 1589 01:32:23,700 --> 01:32:25,200 ...and even an orang-utang! 1590 01:32:25,400 --> 01:32:27,400 So what, and you're a rabbit. You'll get along just fine... 1591 01:32:28,100 --> 01:32:30,300 I'll just give you a slap across the face and you'll see how fine I am. 1592 01:32:30,500 --> 01:32:32,800 Get with the mood, man. Be a bit more sociable. 1593 01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:36,200 Shut up idiot, don't try and teach me how to be sociable. I know how to start my own relationships. 1594 01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:47,600 Hey you, you're Snow White? 1595 01:32:47,800 --> 01:32:52,800 Listen, make sure you don't eat anything that witch is gonna give you, understand? 1596 01:32:53,000 --> 01:32:55,600 Don't forget, if she tries giving you an apple, it'll be poisoned. 1597 01:32:55,800 --> 01:32:58,700 Observe carefully the source of the fruit. 1598 01:32:58,900 --> 01:33:00,600 Oy, I'll smash your face in and take your eyes out! 1599 01:33:00,800 --> 01:33:03,600 I saw you in that film. I know what you're up to! 1600 01:33:04,300 --> 01:33:07,000 Madam, I'm in a spot of bother with this costume... 1601 01:33:07,200 --> 01:33:09,300 ...would you please be able to measure my blood pressure? 1602 01:33:09,500 --> 01:33:10,600 - Ok, I will. - Go on. 1603 01:33:10,800 --> 01:33:12,700 - Very high. - Very high, isn't it? 1604 01:33:12,900 --> 01:33:16,600 - Your heart's beating real fast as well. - It must be because of the watermelons. 1605 01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:19,200 Can you measure my other pressure as well? 1606 01:33:20,000 --> 01:33:22,900 Do I have to tell you where to measure that pressure from, eh? 1607 01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:31,400 Two cheddar cheese toasted sandwiches, and a small cup of tea. 1608 01:33:31,800 --> 01:33:33,400 Go on, quickly now! Hurry and bring it to me. 1609 01:33:34,100 --> 01:33:37,000 Give unto Caesar what belongs to Caesar. Get the fuck out of here, knob. 1610 01:33:37,600 --> 01:33:40,200 - Your costume really suits you. - Thanks, yours too. 1611 01:33:40,400 --> 01:33:42,100 You're a genuine ass-giver, right? Piss off! 1612 01:33:42,700 --> 01:33:44,600 How dare you punch? Piss off, twat. 1613 01:33:45,100 --> 01:33:46,900 Fucking nuisance. 1614 01:33:47,100 --> 01:33:50,300 Mona Lisa? Mary Claire? 1615 01:33:52,400 --> 01:33:55,200 Marilyn Manson? Marilyn Monroe. 1616 01:33:56,200 --> 01:33:59,400 It's true you had an affair with Einstein, isn't it? 1617 01:34:00,100 --> 01:34:03,200 -No, no. -Is it true he fucked you? 1618 01:34:03,800 --> 01:34:07,100 Aren't you ashamed of yourself, walking around like a clown? Piss off, get lost. 1619 01:34:07,500 --> 01:34:09,700 Look at him, pervert. Trying to get close to Marilyn Monroe. 1620 01:34:12,700 --> 01:34:15,300 Ahaaa! So an American wrestler, huh? 1621 01:34:15,700 --> 01:34:17,800 If it's American wrestling you want, that's what you'll get, son! 1622 01:34:28,600 --> 01:34:30,200 I can take anyone! 1623 01:34:48,500 --> 01:34:50,400 Ooof, I swear I can't take any more of this. 1624 01:34:50,600 --> 01:34:53,000 Where's that bastard Ali Kerem? Where is that kid? 1625 01:34:53,300 --> 01:34:56,000 Mummmy!!! You fucker, I ought to break your jaw. I'll smash your jaw, I swear! 1626 01:34:57,400 --> 01:34:59,100 Bro, why are you hitting me? It's me. 1627 01:34:59,300 --> 01:35:01,200 Why the hell are you trying to scare me? 1628 01:35:01,400 --> 01:35:03,300 What's to be scared, my costume's like this. 1629 01:35:03,500 --> 01:35:06,000 Idiot, you don't need to wear a costume to look like a monkey... 1630 01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:09,400 ...you're face already looks like a baboon's. Shithead. 1631 01:35:10,300 --> 01:35:12,600 How's it going, Ali Kerem? Love your costume. 1632 01:35:12,800 --> 01:35:13,500 Thanks. 1633 01:35:13,700 --> 01:35:16,800 - Your costume is really nice too. - Thank you, may God be pleased with you my child. 1634 01:35:17,300 --> 01:35:20,700 - What is it? A grizzly bear, isn't it? - Does this look like a grizzly bear? 1635 01:35:20,900 --> 01:35:22,900 Look what I've got on my head. Look. Two long ears on the head. 1636 01:35:23,100 --> 01:35:25,300 Look at my buttocks as well, look at the fluffy tail. 1637 01:35:25,500 --> 01:35:27,700 Look, my palms are white as well. Where the fuck have you ever seen a grizzly bear like this? 1638 01:35:27,900 --> 01:35:31,400 I'm sorry, but when I saw your face I thought you were a bear. 1639 01:35:31,600 --> 01:35:32,800 Shut the fuck up! 1640 01:35:33,000 --> 01:35:34,300 Shut it! 1641 01:35:34,500 --> 01:35:36,600 She looks at me and thinks I'm a bear. 1642 01:35:36,800 --> 01:35:39,200 When I saw you, I thought you were a retard. You dumb fuck. 1643 01:35:39,400 --> 01:35:41,800 Look at her hair, looks like a friggin' table lamp. 1644 01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:44,900 We might as well put on a couple of candles to light at night. Retard. 1645 01:35:45,100 --> 01:35:49,100 Get lost, little girl! Disgrace! Disgrace! 1646 01:35:49,500 --> 01:35:51,500 - Calm down, bro, it's ok. - Animal! 1647 01:35:55,200 --> 01:35:58,000 It's Grandma. Open the phone cover. My hands are full. Open it. 1648 01:35:59,800 --> 01:36:03,000 - What? - Hello Recep, it's me your grandmother, your grandmother. 1649 01:36:03,200 --> 01:36:05,500 - Yes grandma. - There's too much noise. 1650 01:36:05,700 --> 01:36:07,900 I can't hear you. Where are you, you good-for-nothing? 1651 01:36:08,100 --> 01:36:11,000 Grandma, forgive me, I'm in a costume party. 1652 01:36:11,200 --> 01:36:14,200 I'm here with my future wife. Her family organised it so we could get to know each other. 1653 01:36:15,100 --> 01:36:15,500 - The girl's whole family are animals. - I'm not well at all, I think my time has come. Hurry. 1654 01:36:15,500 --> 01:36:19,500 - The girl's whole family are animals. - I'm not well at all, I think my time has come. Hurry. 1655 01:36:19,700 --> 01:36:22,100 - Where are you? - I'm on the way to the hospital, my son. 1656 01:36:22,300 --> 01:36:26,300 -Which hospital? Which hospital are you going to? - Which hospital, child? 1657 01:36:26,700 --> 01:36:29,800 - Numune Hospital. - She says we're going to the Numune Hospital. 1658 01:36:30,000 --> 01:36:33,200 Ok, ok, hang up, I'm coming right away. I'm coming immediately. 1659 01:36:33,400 --> 01:36:35,500 Bring my future daughter-in-law, son, my daughter-in-law. 1660 01:36:35,700 --> 01:36:37,400 - Lie back madam. - Shut the hell up! 1661 01:36:37,600 --> 01:36:40,600 Bring my future daughter-in-law, otherwise, I'll never forgive you. 1662 01:36:40,800 --> 01:36:43,600 Fine, I'll bring her. I'll bring her to you, grandma. 1663 01:36:43,800 --> 01:36:45,900 Please don't worry, just make sure you get well. Alright, close the phone. 1664 01:36:46,100 --> 01:36:49,200 Never mind Recep, keep talking my boy, I'm using the nurse's telephone. 1665 01:36:49,400 --> 01:36:51,800 The bill will go up her ass, not ours. 1666 01:36:52,400 --> 01:36:54,100 - Madam? - What? 1667 01:36:54,300 --> 01:36:56,300 - I'll take my phone back please. - You can't have it. 1668 01:36:56,500 --> 01:36:59,600 It's just 2 or 3 lira credit, why are you so worried, you she-devil? 1669 01:36:59,900 --> 01:37:02,200 - Bruv, what happened? - Something really bad, man. 1670 01:37:02,700 --> 01:37:06,200 Where's Hakan? Take this shit off your face! 1671 01:37:06,400 --> 01:37:08,400 Walking around with a 'Z' across his face. I'm telling you, something bad's happened. 1672 01:37:08,600 --> 01:37:11,000 They're taking grandma to hospital. - Alright let's get going, quick. 1673 01:37:11,200 --> 01:37:12,800 Yes we must go urgently. 1674 01:37:13,000 --> 01:37:15,400 But I also told grandma I'd bring my future wife with me as well. 1675 01:37:15,600 --> 01:37:18,000 - Shit, where'll we find a girl now? - No idea. 1676 01:37:18,900 --> 01:37:20,900 We need to go there with someone we know and trust. 1677 01:37:21,100 --> 01:37:21,900 - Yeah. 1678 01:37:22,500 --> 01:37:25,000 I've got one or two ideas, Ali Kerim. 1679 01:37:25,400 --> 01:37:27,600 - What's that then? - I've got a very excellent idea. 1680 01:37:28,600 --> 01:37:32,600 Hakan, come with me. 1681 01:37:37,300 --> 01:37:40,200 My boy, what on earth is that thing you're wearing? 1682 01:37:40,400 --> 01:37:42,100 Grandma, I'm now with high class society. 1683 01:37:42,300 --> 01:37:45,800 This is a sign of richness. To show their wealth, they cover the whole body with fur. 1684 01:37:46,100 --> 01:37:46,800 Hakan, Hakan, what is that costume you're wearing? Have you joined a religious sect? 1685 01:37:46,800 --> 01:37:50,800 Hakan, Hakan, what is that costume you're wearing? Have you joined a religious sect? 1686 01:37:52,200 --> 01:37:55,100 No grandma, they gave me a cloak because I was feeling a bit cold. 1687 01:37:56,200 --> 01:37:59,700 My son, have you brought me my daughter-in-law? 1688 01:38:00,200 --> 01:38:03,200 Grandma, when have I ever let you down? Come on Gran... 1689 01:38:03,400 --> 01:38:05,600 I always do what you ask, so of course I brought her. 1690 01:38:05,800 --> 01:38:08,600 Come here my dear, let me introduce you to my grandmother. 1691 01:38:08,800 --> 01:38:10,600 Come my beautiful, my love. 1692 01:38:11,000 --> 01:38:13,600 - I hope wou get well soon, grandma. - Ay, what is this, what an ugly girl! 1693 01:38:13,800 --> 01:38:15,600 Is this the best you could find, my son? 1694 01:38:15,800 --> 01:38:18,600 Oh well, she might be a bit ugly, but what could I do? It's love... 1695 01:38:18,800 --> 01:38:22,000 and love can land on a piece of shit and still affect the heart. - But this one is even worse than shit! 1696 01:38:22,200 --> 01:38:24,800 - Bruv, I'm starting to take this seriously... - Don't call me 'bruv bruv' in front of grandma. 1697 01:38:25,000 --> 01:38:27,700 Otherwise I'll punch you so hard you'll fly into intensive care. 1698 01:38:27,900 --> 01:38:30,700 Isn't that so my love? Oh my darling. 1699 01:38:31,300 --> 01:38:35,300 My son, I want you to do one last thing. This is my last wish. 1700 01:38:35,500 --> 01:38:39,000 Tell me grandma, I'm always ready to do whatever you ask of me. 1701 01:38:39,400 --> 01:38:41,700 - You know that mahogany chest, my son? - Yes, I know it. 1702 01:38:42,000 --> 01:38:44,800 - You know that mahogany chest... - Yeah, the mahogany chest. 1703 01:38:46,200 --> 01:38:49,700 My God, the poor woman has passed on! Grandma! Grandma... 1704 01:38:52,800 --> 01:38:54,000 Ah, she came back. 1705 01:38:54,200 --> 01:38:57,300 - There's a mahogany chest, my boy... - Yes, the mahogany chest, I got it. 1706 01:38:57,500 --> 01:38:58,200 - That mahogany chest, my little Recep... - I know, I know, tell me the rest of it! 1707 01:38:58,200 --> 01:39:02,200 - That mahogany chest, my little Recep... - I know, I know, tell me the rest of it! 1708 01:39:03,900 --> 01:39:04,400 Lord Almighty! She keeps saying mahogany chest and goes to the other world without managing to finish! 1709 01:39:04,400 --> 01:39:08,400 Lord Almighty! She keeps saying mahogany chest and goes to the other world without managing to finish! 1710 01:39:08,700 --> 01:39:14,000 Grandma! Grandma! Look, she's back again, she's alive. 1711 01:39:14,400 --> 01:39:17,600 - The mahogany chest... - Look, I swear I'll stop the serum now... 1712 01:39:17,800 --> 01:39:19,700 ...tell me quickly what's in that mahogany chest. 1713 01:39:19,900 --> 01:39:22,600 Ah my little Recep, you know, the mahogany chest... 1714 01:39:22,800 --> 01:39:24,600 I got it Grandma, there's a mahogany chest! 1715 01:39:24,800 --> 01:39:26,400 Finish your sentence for the love of God! 1716 01:39:26,600 --> 01:39:29,100 I hope it goes up your anus! 1717 01:39:30,400 --> 01:39:33,000 You see, she insulted me. 1718 01:39:33,200 --> 01:39:36,200 She made her last joke, she's attached the mahogany chest to my ass and left for the hereafter. 1719 01:39:36,400 --> 01:39:39,800 By God! Stop staring, quickly, go get the doctors! 1720 01:39:40,000 --> 01:39:43,600 Doctor! Doctor! Isn't there a doctor around?? 1721 01:39:45,600 --> 01:39:47,900 Come on doctor, see if you can save her! 1722 01:39:48,100 --> 01:39:50,800 Are you going to save my grandma doctor? 1723 01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:54,300 Are you going to save my grandma doctor? 1724 01:40:31,100 --> 01:40:32,800 What a bastard. 1725 01:40:33,000 --> 01:40:35,300 He must have crushed the poor woman. 1726 01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:40,000 God. 1727 01:40:41,700 --> 01:40:43,600 Hey, does it smell of feet? 1728 01:40:44,700 --> 01:40:45,800 No. 1729 01:40:49,400 --> 01:40:51,400 Ah, my dear grandma... 1730 01:40:52,300 --> 01:40:54,100 She was always sitting on this sofa... 1731 01:40:54,300 --> 01:40:56,100 She was always playing PlayStation here. You know, she was always looking out for me. 1732 01:40:56,100 --> 01:41:00,100 She was always playing PlayStation here. You know, she was always looking out for me. 1733 01:41:01,800 --> 01:41:04,700 She always desired me to be successful. 1734 01:41:08,700 --> 01:41:10,600 The poor woman, she didn't have a single tooth left in her mouth... 1735 01:41:10,800 --> 01:41:12,900 ... she used to speak 'bob, bob, bob'... 1736 01:41:13,100 --> 01:41:14,900 just like a chicken, sitting here. 1737 01:41:18,000 --> 01:41:23,300 Look, she made me write down a list of the things she wanted me to do. 1738 01:41:25,200 --> 01:41:27,700 I found the job. And I got the respectability. 1739 01:41:29,600 --> 01:41:32,300 But now I have no need to make a family. 1740 01:41:34,500 --> 01:41:37,000 In truth, my grandma was my only family. 1741 01:41:37,400 --> 01:41:40,100 Don't talk like an idiot, Recep, are we not family? 1742 01:41:40,500 --> 01:41:43,100 - Who are we? What is your surname? - Ivedik. 1743 01:41:43,300 --> 01:41:44,600 - And what's mine? - Ivedik. 1744 01:41:44,800 --> 01:41:46,600 We are the Ivediks. No one can hold us back. 1745 01:41:46,800 --> 01:41:48,600 We'll manage the company together. 1746 01:41:48,800 --> 01:41:50,200 I'm always at your side. End of story... 1747 01:41:50,400 --> 01:41:53,000 Don't bullshit Hakan. I don't want to hold you behind. 1748 01:41:53,200 --> 01:41:55,800 No, my dear Recep, nothing will happen to us, don't worry. 1749 01:41:56,000 --> 01:41:58,600 Yeah bro. It's exactly like he said. I'm with you too. 1750 01:42:00,500 --> 01:42:03,500 Easy, easy. Eat slowly! 1751 01:42:03,700 --> 01:42:05,000 Eat slowly, you animal, you'll die! 1752 01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:06,500 Don't put it there, move it! 1753 01:42:06,700 --> 01:42:08,600 Putting the dish on the mahogany chest! 1754 01:42:08,800 --> 01:42:10,900 Putting the dish on my grandmother's mahogany chest! 1755 01:42:11,100 --> 01:42:13,400 - Sorry. - Shameless dog! 1756 01:42:15,100 --> 01:42:17,400 You curly-haired wannabe clown! 1757 01:42:20,600 --> 01:42:24,000 - My condolences. - Thank you, thanks for your support. 1758 01:42:24,200 --> 01:42:25,800 Thank you. Thank you. That's a very nice scarf. 1759 01:42:26,000 --> 01:42:26,800 My condolences. 1760 01:42:27,500 --> 01:42:29,200 Thank you. Thank you. Same to you. Oy, what's your height? 1761 01:42:29,500 --> 01:42:31,700 - Thanks. Say hello to brother Mehmet from me. Say hi to your son. 1762 01:42:31,900 --> 01:42:33,200 My condolences. 1763 01:42:33,400 --> 01:42:36,800 Thank you. Amen, amen. Thank you my dear aunt. 1764 01:42:38,100 --> 01:42:39,100 My condolences. 1765 01:42:39,400 --> 01:42:42,300 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all. 1766 01:42:42,500 --> 01:42:45,100 Is that a noise? Oh right, were you here? Sorry, didn't see you there. 1767 01:42:45,500 --> 01:42:48,200 Thank you my dear. Thank you. Oh God, my God. 1768 01:42:48,700 --> 01:42:52,300 - Thank you, dear friend. - If you're ever in need, please give me a call. 1769 01:42:52,500 --> 01:42:53,700 I'll call you. Don't worry. 1770 01:42:54,800 --> 01:42:56,300 - My dear Recep. - My dear Hakan. 1771 01:42:57,400 --> 01:43:00,000 Go on holiday and get your head back to normal. 1772 01:43:00,200 --> 01:43:03,100 - You can come back to company whenever you want. - Fine, thanks. 1773 01:43:03,500 --> 01:43:04,900 See you later. 1774 01:43:06,900 --> 01:43:07,400 My God! This is a house of mourning! 1775 01:43:07,400 --> 01:43:11,400 My God! This is a house of mourning! 1776 01:43:12,500 --> 01:43:16,400 This is a house of death! All they did was sit here... 1777 01:43:16,600 --> 01:43:19,300 and eat the sweet dish, and then fucked off like a herd of buffaloes. 1778 01:43:20,100 --> 01:43:22,300 Just leave me alone, leave me by myself. 1779 01:43:22,700 --> 01:43:24,100 I'm suffering! 1780 01:43:30,700 --> 01:43:32,600 Oh my Lord. 1781 01:44:23,400 --> 01:44:24,800 What the hell is this? 1782 01:44:26,500 --> 01:44:28,800 Look at that, she did it to me again. 1783 01:44:33,800 --> 01:44:35,600 My poor dear. 1784 01:44:41,600 --> 01:44:43,400 God Almighty. 1785 01:44:43,600 --> 01:44:46,000 What gave you the idea to take a photo like this? I don't understand it. 1786 01:44:49,200 --> 01:44:52,400 Where on earth did you get this taken? Who took this photo? I don't get it. 1787 01:44:54,200 --> 01:44:56,800 She must have forced the women in the neighbourhood... 1788 01:44:57,000 --> 01:44:58,900 ...to take the photo. 1789 01:44:59,100 --> 01:45:01,700 Surely, nothing else could have come out of this chest. 1790 01:45:02,500 --> 01:45:04,300 When I asked what was in it... 1791 01:45:04,500 --> 01:45:06,500 ...you always answered, you'll see when I die. What was in it? 1792 01:45:06,700 --> 01:45:09,700 You'll see when I die. You've done it again. 1793 01:45:16,300 --> 01:45:18,500 You've made me laugh again. 1794 01:45:19,700 --> 01:45:24,400 I'm going to miss you a lot. You left me so many tasks... 1795 01:45:24,600 --> 01:45:26,700 And now you've left without seeing them accomplished. 1796 01:45:31,200 --> 01:45:33,400 My poor, dear grandmother! 1797 01:45:40,500 --> 01:45:43,100 It makes me laugh every time I look at it. 1798 01:46:12,400 --> 01:46:13,900 What the hell are you doing? 1799 01:46:14,300 --> 01:46:15,700 The girl is a savage. 1800 01:46:16,100 --> 01:46:18,000 Bro, why are you trying to get with a girl you don't know? 1801 01:46:18,200 --> 01:46:19,400 She's an Indian beauty... 1802 01:46:27,800 --> 01:46:29,300 I know what you're thinking... 1803 01:46:30,600 --> 01:46:32,300 - Thanks. - Piss off. 1804 01:46:32,500 --> 01:46:33,300 Next. 1805 01:46:35,500 --> 01:46:38,100 Wait a moment. Peace be with you. 1806 01:46:39,600 --> 01:46:41,500 What are you moving out of the way for? 1807 01:46:41,800 --> 01:46:43,000 Good evening ladies and gentle... 1808 01:46:43,000 --> 01:46:47,000 Good evening ladies and gentle... 1809 01:46:47,800 --> 01:46:49,900 A grandfather with a white beard: come here my child, come here... 1810 01:46:52,700 --> 01:46:53,800 Don't laugh, don't laugh. 1811 01:46:56,700 --> 01:46:58,000 Sorry, I was feeling a bit uncomfortable, it was too high... 1812 01:47:00,400 --> 01:47:03,600 Come on say it. Fill in the blanks, come on! 1813 01:47:05,800 --> 01:47:09,400 Well done. Very good. Oy, get this pipe out the way. 1814 01:47:13,000 --> 01:47:14,800 Lift me up, lift me up man. 1815 01:47:18,400 --> 01:47:19,600 Where'd it go? 1816 01:47:21,000 --> 01:47:23,500 I won't go if I'm not invited. 1817 01:47:23,700 --> 01:47:25,000 Come on, let's go. 1818 01:47:28,000 --> 01:47:29,600 I'm coming too, right? 1819 01:47:33,000 --> 01:47:35,300 - Let's go. - I told you I'm not invited! 1820 01:47:36,200 --> 01:47:38,600 I'll take a shit right in your mouth. 1821 01:47:39,600 --> 01:47:42,600 You neither bring me a bonsai, nor a golden coltsfoot... 1822 01:47:46,300 --> 01:47:48,100 - Ah yes. - I swear I'll... 1823 01:47:48,300 --> 01:47:49,300 We're playing for money, right? Yeah, for money. 1824 01:47:49,600 --> 01:47:52,200 Makes no difference. Oh my God!. 1825 01:47:53,400 --> 01:47:55,100 God... the sofa. I always said that you were a bear. 1826 01:47:55,800 --> 01:47:57,600 What a bear!