1 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,297 It's okay. Look how calm... 2 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:38,270 We love you so much. 3 00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:52,518 Oh, she's gone. She's gone. 4 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,587 We love you, baby. 5 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:59,591 We love you so much. 6 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,263 I love you. I love you. 7 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,065 I love... 8 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,293 Joanne hello, you've reached the Mulcahey... 9 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,762 Residence. We aren't able to get to the phone right now... 10 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,665 But leave a message and we'll call you back. 11 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,834 Cathy hi, Joanne. It's Cathy Colombo. 12 00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,502 From Bemidji state? 13 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,672 I heard from Kay and Rick you were sick. 14 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,741 I'm so sorry, I didn't know that, honey. 15 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:53,612 I'd love to hear how you're doing... 16 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,547 Whenever you're up for it, okay? 17 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,584 And, uh... hold on one sec, Joanne. 18 00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:01,120 Um, yes. I'd like two bean and cheese burritos, please? 19 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,888 And a small Pepsi. 20 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,756 We don't serve Pepsi, ma'am we only have coke. 21 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,725 No, no, I always... Only coke, ma'am. 22 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,527 Cathy oh, shit! Sorry. 23 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:12,197 I thought it was taco bell. Am I on Eucalyptis? 24 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,599 Del taco employee this is Del taco. 25 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,267 I'm all turned around. We only have coke. 26 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:16,902 Okay, no, no, no, yeah, I hear you. 27 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,737 Yeah, okay, coke's fine, then, thank you. 28 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,405 Del taco employee okay, that all? 29 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,242 Yeah, thank you. $3.11 at the first window. 30 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,711 Cathy I am so sorry about that, Joanne. 31 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:28,914 Uh, where was I? Oh, right, how sick you are... 32 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:46,532 Fuck. 33 00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:04,416 There's our New York City boy! 34 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,851 That's right. Hi, grandma. 35 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,719 They gotcha workin' this party? 36 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,656 It's good to work. Good for ya! 37 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,926 You know, I'm glad that you're movin' home for a bit. 38 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:18,330 Your mom's gonna need a lotta help. She does not deserve this. 39 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,532 You know, Rebeccah and Alex helped set up, too! 40 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,734 We did it all... You were "writing." 41 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,670 Are you drinking? You're like 15-years-old. 42 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,605 I'm 17. Alex, didn't help at all. 43 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,574 You were gone picking up friends for like five hours. 44 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,242 Please tell me, not Paige. 45 00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,911 I haven't talked to Paige since, like, middle school. 46 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,714 Oh, hey there, is this where I can get some chips? 47 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,716 Oh! 48 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:42,421 Oh, hi, my name's Fletcher, just live here in the neighborhood. 49 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:43,943 Hi, Fletcher. Hoping to get some chips. 50 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,295 Oh, my god. That's funny. 51 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,231 Isn't that great? 99 cents at the gas station. 52 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:53,532 99 cents. Isn't that something? 53 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:56,501 David! David, what do you hear about your show? 54 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,303 Uh, it didn't get picked up... 55 00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:01,406 So they don't pick it up, you know, it's over. 56 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,409 Yeah, but ya never know, maybe they'll change their minds! 57 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,545 That's not really how it works. 58 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,981 Ya know, we turned on SNL the other week... 59 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,582 Lookin' for ya on there! 60 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,518 Uh, why? I don't work there. 61 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,289 Well, it's only a matter of time before we see ya on there! 62 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:20,492 Well, I'm a writer, so I'd never actually be like, on the show... 63 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,428 Sure you're gonna get a lot of material tonight. 64 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,297 Won't he, grandpa? 65 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,599 I'll give you some material. Whaddya need? 66 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,900 David! 67 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,602 You just need these. This is a sketch. 68 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,537 David? Give these to Lorne Michaels. 69 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,339 Okay, I gotta show you this. 70 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,409 Remember that wand that I bought on the Internet? 71 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:38,710 The one that can heal people? 72 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,647 Yes, and can you believe at only $400? 73 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:42,781 I mean, that's crazy. 74 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,416 Everyone at your church bought one? 75 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,752 Yeah, well, my pastor sells them on his website. 76 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:50,922 And, uh, anyway, I looked it up, and it doesn't cure cancer. 77 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,691 Well... 78 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,926 Yeah, so it just works on, if you like, throw your back out... 79 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,795 Or something, but boy, is it amazing. 80 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,031 Thanks for researching that, that's good to know. 81 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:02,301 How you doin', Sacramento? Here it comes... 82 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,906 We were gonna dedicate this first song to Joanne... 83 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,676 But she's still upstairs gettin' ready apparently. 84 00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,312 So get your butt down here, Joanne! 85 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:16,048 Jo-anny! Come on down! Hey, Joanne! 86 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:20,719 Well, we got our New York City boy in the house tonight. 87 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:23,088 You're not too good for us now, are you? 88 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,891 No. Okay. 89 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,794 We're gonna start you off with a lil' appetizer. 90 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,526 I'm almost ready, I'm so sorry! 91 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,894 No, no rush. 92 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:06,131 Taking me forever. Sit down for one minute. 93 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,103 How's it going down there? 94 00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,838 Patti brought her wand. 95 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:16,975 She did? Of course, she did! Hm... 96 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,777 She says it doesn't work on cancer, though. 97 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:19,911 Darn! 98 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,449 Don't bite. 99 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,752 Isn't this dress pretty? 100 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:32,491 It is, I feel like it's too subtle... maybe? 101 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:33,625 Yeah, you think so? 102 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,594 Something more, maybe? 103 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:36,928 Do you know that I got this dress for this '70s party... 104 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,430 That your dad dragged me to. 105 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:39,398 Did I ever tell you about that party? 106 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,032 No. 107 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,834 Well, it was for people at his school, so you get the idea. 108 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:43,869 It's like, you know, you think he's bad... 109 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,804 These people are the worst. 110 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,806 So your dad makes this big deal, like we have to get our 70's co- 111 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,841 like he was very excited about this party. 112 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,743 So I get this dress, which is beautiful. 113 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,712 We go to the party, we walk in... 114 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,548 And literally no one is dressed up in 70's costumes... 115 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,950 Except for me and your father, can you imagine? 116 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,620 Oh, my god. It was so embarrassing. 117 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,921 Why was I not there? No one, David! 118 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,956 God as my witness. I don't know. 119 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,526 These people... they had like one little... 120 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,762 One little banner that said "groovy", and then they were... 121 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,130 They didn't even play 70's music... 122 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,999 They were playing like Phil Collins music. 123 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,701 Ugh. I'm so sorry, that sucks! 124 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,737 I know, but it's so funny in retrospect. 125 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,005 So has everyone already left yet? 126 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:23,775 Actually you missed the whole year. 127 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,212 It's probably not a terrible idea. 128 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,714 Should we go down? And join? 129 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,520 You don't have to move back, you know that, right? 130 00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:36,621 I know. 131 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,090 I just want to tell you. I know. 132 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:42,127 Don't bite, David, stop, come on. 133 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,564 Paul hey, this is Paul. 134 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:23,268 I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the beep. 135 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:26,938 Hey, it's me. 136 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:32,177 Just calling to say that I landed. 137 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,080 And um... 138 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:39,851 Which I guess I don't need to do that... any more. 139 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,687 Anyway. Yeah, mom's fine. 140 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:47,192 Or... you know, fake fine, um... 141 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,896 We're just all doing new year's stuff. 142 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,765 Sorta feels like this little play that we're all putting on. 143 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,668 Boo! Agh! Fuck! 144 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:25,830 Uh, hey, you holding up? 145 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:28,266 Yeah. 146 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,338 You want company? 147 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,107 No, thank you. 148 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:43,782 Got any new year's resolutions? 149 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,589 I dunno. 150 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:54,826 All right, I love you, bud. 151 00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:02,801 10... 9... 8... 7... 152 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:06,838 6... 5... 4... 3... 153 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,174 2...1... 154 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,389 Okay. 155 00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:30,829 Are you okay? 156 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,364 I'm so sorry, I missed a little. 157 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,766 That's okay. Yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay. 158 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,938 Thank you, thank you, honey. 159 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:31,156 So, how's Paul doing? 160 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,459 This is a long time for you to be away from him. 161 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:39,297 He understands. He's fine. Oh, good. 162 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,699 Well, listen, I really wanna pay for your rent... 163 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,367 For the next few months... 164 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,370 Just so it's one less thing for you guys to worry about. 165 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,971 Dad's not gonna like that. 166 00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:49,708 Well, I don't care if he likes it. 167 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,209 Well, thank you. 168 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,211 Of course. 169 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,448 Have you used that gym membership that he got you? 170 00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,283 Might be nice for you to have somewhere to go... 171 00:11:58,285 --> 00:11:59,350 If you want to get outta the house at night. 172 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,319 I will, yeah. 173 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,054 Okay, good. 174 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,489 Work on my fitness. 175 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,758 Yeah... can you see it? 176 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,395 Hm? Can you see it? 177 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,231 No, looks normal. 178 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,901 Ah, hooray. 179 00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,205 Hey! David? 180 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,440 David? Mulcahey? 181 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,042 Oh... hey! Hey! I thought that was you. 182 00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,411 Hey, how's it goin? Good, good. 183 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:01,946 Just baggin... 184 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,548 Oh... wow. Yeah. 185 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,817 That's cool. Yeah, it's good to see you! 186 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:08,386 Yeah, I saw on Facebook, you're a writer now, right? 187 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,955 Yeah. Cool, cool, me, too. 188 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,090 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 189 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:15,827 Like novels and Sci-Fi fantasy shit. 190 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,862 Oh, okay. Yeah, it's fun. 191 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:18,930 Well, cool. 192 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,832 Yeah, what are you writing? 193 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:24,068 Uh, I was working on this pilot for TV for like a year. 194 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,370 Okay. 195 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:30,975 But... Then it didn't get picked up, so... 196 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:34,145 Now I'm just writing for "Saturday night live". 197 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,447 Oh, fuck, what? Are you... 198 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,316 Oh, my god... shit. Yeah. 199 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,051 I should probably... I should probably get going. 200 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,220 Yeah, yeah, hey, you know, um... 201 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,889 I've been meaning to message you. 202 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:48,159 I uh, I heard about your family situation. Uh... 203 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,460 Yeah. Yeah. 204 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,296 How are your sisters doing? 205 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:55,934 I mean, everyone's sad, but you know... 206 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:59,304 Really? I didn't think Rebeccah would care... 207 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,573 And your little sister. 208 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,208 Wait, what are you talking about? 209 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,910 You know, you... Michelle Lima said that you came out? 210 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:09,347 And your family kind of took it poorly or something like that? 211 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:15,153 Yeah, that was like nine years ago or something. 212 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,855 I mean, my dad still won't talk about it... 213 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,390 But he's a fucking asshole, so... 214 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,193 Wait, what were you talking about? 215 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:27,932 Oh, uh, now my mom has cancer. 216 00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:32,337 But... 217 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,372 You should rent her a DVD. 218 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,607 No, no, that's okay. 219 00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,642 No, have you seen these things? 220 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,944 They're like Netflix, but even better, they're awesome. 221 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,446 I have. Come on. 222 00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,882 I got an employee discount. Man, it's not a big deal. 223 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,583 I can get you a free rental. 224 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,452 You really don't have to do that. They're only a dollar. I... 225 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,454 No, no, come on, hey, please, let me get you something. 226 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,357 Do you know if there's any non-new releases... 227 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:53,658 That she'd want to see? 228 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,628 Ooh, ooh, okay, watch your hair. 229 00:14:56,630 --> 00:15:00,965 Good girl, get it out, get it out. 230 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,334 Just breathe, mom. 231 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,971 Here we go. You're doing all right, baby. 232 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:11,676 Thank you, sweetie. 233 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,279 You okay, mom? David, yeah, I'm okay. 234 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:18,349 How was your day? Get any writing done? 235 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,118 Um, a lot, actually. 236 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,254 Hey, you know that gym has boxing classes. 237 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,189 I thought that might be fun! 238 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,358 Can someone please put dono outside? 239 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,460 I can't stand to see him licking his penis. 240 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,996 Dono, no! Stop it! Dono, no, stop! 241 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,464 Dono, no! Dono, out! 242 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,599 Stop. No! 243 00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,549 Gabe David, hi, it's Gabe. 244 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,584 I am in town and want you to know that we are going... 245 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,286 To the gayest bar in Sacramento tonight. 246 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,088 You, of course, have no choice. 247 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,490 Please pick me up promptly, thank you, goodbye. 248 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:03,962 Oh, hey. 249 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:07,732 Oh, uh, hi. I'm looking for Gabe Stewart? 250 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,568 Oh, he's in the shower, yeah. David, right? 251 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,370 What, you're Justin? The only and only! 252 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,006 Except for Timberlake and Bieber, but whatever. 253 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,342 You were a baby like a second ago! 254 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:20,111 You can come in and wait in my room if you want. 255 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:24,182 Just know that I know, it needs of a full redec. 256 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,250 Okay. Who am I kidding? 257 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,252 This whole house needs a full redec, honestly. 258 00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:29,487 Yeah, I won't judge it. 259 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,290 This is my bedroom. 260 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,258 Wow! This is really nice. 261 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,027 Do you like it? I do. 262 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:39,364 So for my birthday, I wanna tear down this whole entire wall... 263 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,099 And put up solid Carrera. 264 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,034 Do you know Carrera? 265 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,469 I think... is she like a singer? 266 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,604 No, it's a marble, it's so tasteful. 267 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,339 I actually think you'll really like it. 268 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,174 See this laptop case? Uh-huh. 269 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,442 It's Carrera. 270 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,644 Oh, wow, that's really nice. Yeah. 271 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,713 It's fake, but it'll do. 272 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,248 My tastes are a little bit outside my father's... 273 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,751 Financial means, and I'm sensitive to that. 274 00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:02,453 And he works so hard, he's a single parent... 275 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,022 So I try to cut corners where I can. 276 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,723 That's really nice of you. 277 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,658 I really like your shirt, by the way. 278 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,460 Oh, well, thank you... 279 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,230 I was actually very nervous about it since meeting you. 280 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,298 It's so cute, you're really cute. 281 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,136 David. Hi! Gabe. 282 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,771 How are you? 283 00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:22,407 I'm good. A very young boy just told me I looked cute. 284 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,076 Yes, he did, I'm not surprised. 285 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,145 Um, Justin, we're gonna go, be good. 286 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,147 Uh, of course, I'll be good, please, please. 287 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,481 It was so nice to meet you. 288 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,083 It was so nice to meet you. 289 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,485 Come on, hug me. Let's do this. 290 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,320 Thank you. 291 00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,755 Ah, Justin, I'm so sorry, you can't come with us. 292 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,557 Oh, no, it's fine, I have work to do. 293 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,126 Honestly, just please go off, have fun, do your thing. 294 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:43,795 We will. And, Justin, please don't burn the house down... 295 00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,396 With your candles while I'm gone. 296 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,565 Oh, my god, Gabe, please stop! 297 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,400 I'm sorry, I'm joking. I'm joking. 298 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,136 He's furious, because he ran out of candles this afternoon. 299 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:55,106 Ho-ly shit. 300 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:58,709 I can't believe your dad has to raise that kid all by himself. 301 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,478 Okay, remember junior year... 302 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,681 How my mom got sick like five minutes after they adopted him? 303 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,253 Okay wait, so where are we going? 304 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,688 I didn't even know Sacramento had gay bars. 305 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,824 Oh, you'll see, it's... pure heaven. 306 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:21,566 This is hand's down the worst building I've ever been in. 307 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:24,235 Okay, you say that now, but if you meet your husband here, 308 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,877 I'm gonna make the speech at your wedding. 309 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:32,210 Uh, let me toast now, um, to being back home. 310 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,846 Mm, to being in Sacramento. 311 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,548 Don't be rude, David. Okay, this is your home. 312 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,851 Your gorgeous, gorgeous home. 313 00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:42,520 Okay, you can say that, because you're here for the weekend. 314 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,821 I have been here two months. 315 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,456 No, it's true, it's not fair. 316 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,791 I don't have to deal with your fucking dad. 317 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,526 I mean, he's been good with my mom. 318 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,229 We just don't talk about that. 319 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,397 That? So you mean, how he cut you off and made you pay... 320 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,465 For school when you came out to him? 321 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,367 Yes, that! 322 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,902 Right, how he's never seen Paul. How he's never met Paul once. 323 00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,737 That! Right, right, right, that, that. 324 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,372 Yes, that. What is this, 2008? 325 00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:02,907 Jesus. I feel like I'm in brokeback mountain. 326 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,175 I know. 327 00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,845 Hi. 328 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,647 Hi. 329 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:13,284 Do you teach, or...? 330 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,286 You don't know? You don't know? 331 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,756 Okay... um, how are you and Paul? Is it weird now? 332 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,525 It was mutual. Yeah. 333 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:21,893 So mutually... weird. Yeah. 334 00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:23,427 I guess. 335 00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:24,896 How long were you all together, like four years? 336 00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:26,364 Five. Oh, god! 337 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,431 Oh, god. 338 00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:28,432 What the fuck? Hi. 339 00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:29,434 Hi. 340 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,637 You should do grindr while you're here. 341 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,472 I would never do grindr... 342 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,207 Especially in Sacramento. 343 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,508 That's disgusting. What? 344 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,810 You should try ok cupid, come on! 345 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:43,181 It's more gentle, it's like for small children. 346 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,849 No. Why? What? 347 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,217 What's wrong with ok cupid? 348 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,785 I do it every time I'm home. 349 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:50,354 I hooked up with that guy from Sheldon... 350 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,290 Who was a year younger than us, Nate chapin? 351 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,691 Nate chapin? Mm-hm. 352 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,725 How was that? 353 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,594 He had the grossest penis... 354 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:57,862 But he lived right next to Jack in the box... 355 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:01,432 So two birds, one dick. 356 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,669 Ugh! I'm gonna come so hard! Ew. Oh my god, oh my god! 357 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,537 I'm gonna come all over the place. 358 00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:11,409 That is definitely the guy from the burger place! 359 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:12,543 Yes, I told you. 360 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,512 How did you recognize him? 361 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:17,515 Because look at that dumb-ass tattoo on his arm. 362 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:18,883 I mean, who else has that tattoo. No one has that tattoo. 363 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,785 Fuck, yeah. Oh, he's gonna do it. 364 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,720 He's gonna do it. 365 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,488 Nothing will be spared in here. He's close, he's close! 366 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,456 I'm gonna come all over the whole room. 367 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,426 He came! He did it! 368 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,628 Yes! He did it! He came on the chair! 369 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,463 Hey, thank you. 370 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:35,466 And she didn't wanna slowly lose her hair, so she shaved it. 371 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:40,972 Last week... and we did this big hair-cutting ceremony... 372 00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:42,873 And she was really joke-y and funny... 373 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,409 And then when it was over, she started crying. 374 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,777 My mom did the same thing. 375 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,779 The chemo's not even working. 376 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:53,618 And it's like now I'll have no mom, and basically no dad... 377 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,654 And no boyfriend, and no job... 378 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,690 No, no, no, David, you came here to be with her. 379 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,492 Just focus on that. 380 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,961 That's all, and let everything else fall into place, okay? 381 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:07,265 There's no one to fucking talk to here, except for you... 382 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,733 And you're never here. 383 00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,901 So I just said, and I think about morbid shit... 384 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,704 Like, where will I be when she dies? 385 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:14,939 How are your sisters? 386 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,907 Will it be summer or winter? 387 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:21,979 Or like, will September 27th just always suck... 388 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,447 For the rest of my life? 389 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,816 I don't know. 390 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,785 This all just feels like... 391 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,988 Something that happens to other people. 392 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:34,725 Yeah, well, now you're other people to other people. 393 00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:23,007 All right, we have two burgers, two fries, and two cokes. 394 00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,476 It'll be about five minutes, we'll bring it right out to you. 395 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,648 Hi. What can I get you? 396 00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,917 I like your tattoo. 397 00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:36,587 Oh, eh, it's like how we're all created, you know? 398 00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:38,823 Yeah. Yeah. 399 00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,658 What can I get you? 400 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:44,695 Um, yeah, I'll just do three medium chocolate shakes... 401 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,664 With no whip cream... please? 402 00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,632 What size? 403 00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:50,401 Medium. 404 00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:52,570 And would you like whip cream on that? 405 00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:55,139 No, no whip. 406 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:56,707 And what flavor? 407 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,442 Chocolate. 408 00:22:58,444 --> 00:22:59,977 Chocolate, great. 409 00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:04,849 Three medium no whip chocolate shakes. What size? 410 00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:07,985 Okie-doke... 411 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,988 I still feel like Alex and Becca should be here if they want to. 412 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,724 No, I don't want them to hear this. 413 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:16,026 But they might want to. No. 414 00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:18,929 No, I don't want them here. No. 415 00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:25,636 Okay, um, obviously this is just precautionary. 416 00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:29,006 It's actually important that we all have one of these. 417 00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:31,509 Even you should have one, I can help you fill it out... 418 00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:32,910 Later if you want. 419 00:23:34,846 --> 00:23:37,882 You look good! You enjoying the gym? 420 00:23:37,884 --> 00:23:40,651 Yeah. Cool. 421 00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:43,821 Okay, section one, designation of agent... 422 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:47,725 I've designated myself as agent. 423 00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:50,728 It just means that I would be making health care decisions... 424 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,163 If mom can't. 425 00:23:52,165 --> 00:23:54,064 Meaning he can kill me. 426 00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:59,637 Yeah, yeah, as soon as I get my info down here, I can kill her. 427 00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:01,672 And, if it's okay with you... 428 00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:06,544 You are designated first alternate agent... 429 00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:10,681 It just means you're my second in command. 430 00:24:10,683 --> 00:24:12,850 No, I don't want him in that position. 431 00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:15,152 Joanne, it's precautionary. Absolutely not, no. 432 00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:17,488 No, sorry, then put Nina down. It's not gonna happen. 433 00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:19,123 Mom, it's really fine. 434 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:21,091 It's not fine. You should not have to be put in that position. 435 00:24:21,093 --> 00:24:22,927 No, the answer is no. 436 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:28,466 Okay, if you want Nina, we'll do Nina. 437 00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:32,736 Uh, section 2.1, end-of-life decisions. 438 00:24:32,738 --> 00:24:35,005 "Donation of organs at death". 439 00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:37,141 Do you want to be an organ donor? 440 00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:39,710 No, I don't want to... Who's gonna want my organs? 441 00:24:39,712 --> 00:24:41,846 My organs have tumors all over them. 442 00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:47,818 Your eyes, you could do your eyes, pretty blue eyes. 443 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,987 All right, fine, my eyes. 444 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,725 Okay, I'll make sure about that. 445 00:24:54,727 --> 00:25:02,727 Here's another fun topic, um... cremation? 446 00:25:02,802 --> 00:25:05,603 No, I'm not get... we talked about this. 447 00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:07,071 I know we talked about it, I just want to... 448 00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,873 I'm not gonna be burned up, okay? 449 00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:12,142 How would you like it if someone set you on fire? No, thank you. 450 00:25:12,144 --> 00:25:15,246 Well, it's not like they light you, I mean, you're... 451 00:25:15,248 --> 00:25:18,082 I don't want to be lit on fire. I don't like that. 452 00:25:18,084 --> 00:25:20,050 I don't like camping and I don't like fires... 453 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:23,621 And I don't want to be personally lit on fire, no. 454 00:25:23,623 --> 00:25:25,689 I want to be frozen. Do they have that as an option? 455 00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,258 Frozen, can I be frozen? 456 00:25:27,260 --> 00:25:29,026 You want to be frozen? Check the frozen option. 457 00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:31,795 Frozen like a pea? Yeah, exactly, like a pea. 458 00:25:31,797 --> 00:25:33,297 Um... 459 00:25:33,299 --> 00:25:35,199 I want to be frozen and then propped up on our couch... 460 00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:37,067 In our living room, and I can watch you to make sure... 461 00:25:37,069 --> 00:25:38,068 You don't cheat on me when I'm gone. 462 00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:40,037 You're gonna... 463 00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:41,872 You think it's funny, but that's what I'm gonna do. 464 00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:44,174 But you won't have eyes, because you donated your eyes. 465 00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:46,877 Mm, that's too bad, then I guess I'll be buried. 466 00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:49,713 Okay, just hear me out on this. 467 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:54,752 Burial, you know, it's... 468 00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,053 What? 469 00:25:56,055 --> 00:26:00,324 Think about it, I mean, the coffin, a plot... 470 00:26:00,326 --> 00:26:02,693 I mean, do we really want to do all that? 471 00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:04,328 What? Norman... I mean, that's what they did... 472 00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:06,864 No. I don't want to talk about this anymore. 473 00:26:06,866 --> 00:26:08,265 Olden times. I don't care if it's olden... 474 00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:09,967 I just think... I like the olden times. 475 00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:13,203 We could scatter your ashes someplace meaningful. 476 00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:15,072 No. I think it could be beautiful. 477 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:16,874 Why are you trying to make me mad, Norman, I keep saying no! 478 00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,676 I'm not! And you're pushing me. 479 00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:21,712 Please stop, I told you, I don't want to be cremated. 480 00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:23,314 And I don't care if you think it's a dumb idea! 481 00:26:23,316 --> 00:26:25,916 I do not want to be cremated, okay? I don't like it. 482 00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:27,818 It makes me uncomfortable. Okay. 483 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,920 I don't like it, I have a right to say that I don't... 484 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:31,622 I don't fucking want to be fucking cremated. 485 00:26:31,624 --> 00:26:35,726 Okay, baby. Okay. I'm sorry. 486 00:26:35,728 --> 00:26:38,896 And I hate this stupid wig, I look like a fucking dead person. 487 00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:46,737 You don't have to be cremated. 488 00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:49,340 Okay, good. I don't want to be cremated. 489 00:26:54,245 --> 00:26:57,381 We could do a green burial? 490 00:26:57,383 --> 00:27:00,684 It's this thing I saw on "six feet under". 491 00:27:00,686 --> 00:27:03,988 It's like a burial, but they... 492 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:08,225 There's no coffin, or plot, it's totally natural. 493 00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:11,261 They just put you in the earth... 494 00:27:11,263 --> 00:27:15,132 In like a pretty park or something. 495 00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:18,202 Good, I want to do that. I want to do David's idea. 496 00:27:18,204 --> 00:27:20,170 Okay, we'll do that. Okay. 497 00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:22,072 We'll go green. 498 00:27:24,943 --> 00:27:26,777 I'll figure that out. 499 00:27:26,779 --> 00:27:28,946 I don't wanna come to this stupid place anymore... 500 00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:31,415 Because that guy is literally doing that the whole time. 501 00:27:33,886 --> 00:27:35,886 Ridiculous. 502 00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:41,191 I hate this. I know. 503 00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:47,865 I hate it! I told her not to do the arm. 504 00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:49,767 I told her that there's no veins there. 505 00:27:49,769 --> 00:27:51,268 I told her to try the hand. 506 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,337 But she still did the arm, and she kept poking me. 507 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:56,140 Baby, we do not... listen... 508 00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:57,875 I'm sorry. 509 00:27:57,877 --> 00:27:59,276 We don't have to do this anymore. 510 00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:02,846 No, I don't want them to see me quit. 511 00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:05,149 Well, then, take this one... Nobody's quitting. 512 00:28:05,151 --> 00:28:07,351 Listen to me, this is what we're going to do. 513 00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:08,952 We're gonna do one more round... No. 514 00:28:08,954 --> 00:28:11,255 And we're gonna see how you feel, okay? 515 00:28:11,257 --> 00:28:12,756 That's what we're gonna do, okay? 516 00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:15,125 Well, why do they keep getting bigger? 517 00:28:15,127 --> 00:28:18,028 Why do they keep getting bigger? I don't know. 518 00:28:22,934 --> 00:28:25,135 I think we need to think about the port. 519 00:28:25,137 --> 00:28:26,937 No, I don't wanna look like a robot. 520 00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:29,006 You're not gonna look like a robot, baby. 521 00:28:29,008 --> 00:28:30,941 I don't want to look like a robot! 522 00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:32,776 You're not gonna be able to see it. 523 00:28:32,778 --> 00:28:35,145 The doctor said it would be totally covered by your shirt. 524 00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:37,948 No. Honey... 525 00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:42,052 I hate this. I know. 526 00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:48,158 Rachel ray yum, yum, and yum... 527 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:49,960 So now we're gonna take our chicken... 528 00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:52,129 With the cheese literally coming out the sides. 529 00:28:52,131 --> 00:28:53,964 I know! 530 00:28:53,966 --> 00:28:56,266 Note to self, don't put your kitchen towel... 531 00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:57,768 Too close to the stove. 532 00:29:00,772 --> 00:29:03,006 You know, your mother was supposed to be born dead. 533 00:29:03,008 --> 00:29:05,743 So she's still very, very lucky. 534 00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:06,910 Oh, grandpa! 535 00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:10,180 It's true. Ask her doctor! 536 00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:13,484 I mean, he's dead, but if he wasn't, you could. 537 00:29:13,486 --> 00:29:15,385 He hung himself. 538 00:29:15,387 --> 00:29:19,490 See, grandma was already pregnant and somehow she got... 539 00:29:19,492 --> 00:29:21,759 Pregnant again with your mother, 540 00:29:21,761 --> 00:29:26,997 and your mother absorbed the first child in the womb. 541 00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:28,532 That's true. 542 00:29:28,534 --> 00:29:30,934 The doctor thought your mom was either gonna be born dead... 543 00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:36,039 Or with the other baby's hands comin' outta her face. 544 00:29:36,041 --> 00:29:37,941 Grandpa! 545 00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:41,445 It's true, Ruthie! God as my witness. But she didn't. 546 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:45,382 No, she didn't. Her face was fine. You've seen it. 547 00:29:45,384 --> 00:29:47,217 Yes. I've seen it. 548 00:29:47,219 --> 00:29:49,253 But she does got those big bunions! 549 00:29:49,255 --> 00:29:51,889 Those could be her sister! 550 00:29:51,891 --> 00:29:53,323 Oh, god. 551 00:29:54,893 --> 00:29:56,560 Where are the girls? 552 00:29:56,562 --> 00:30:00,564 Um, I think Alex and her friends went to Rebecca's work to eat... 553 00:30:00,566 --> 00:30:03,233 And then they were going to a concert or something. 554 00:30:03,235 --> 00:30:05,803 Well, why didn't you go with them? 555 00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:07,037 I was just feelin' kind of out of it. 556 00:30:07,039 --> 00:30:11,875 Well, you still shoulda gone! 557 00:30:11,877 --> 00:30:14,011 I'm gonna use the bathroom. Okay. 558 00:30:14,013 --> 00:30:16,446 He's a nice boy. He's a great boy. 559 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:18,415 He looks good, too. 560 00:30:24,255 --> 00:30:26,957 Oh, David... 561 00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:30,060 Did you hear what happened to Mary Elsenpeter? 562 00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:34,031 Uh... No! I'm in the bathroom! 563 00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:37,968 Her family lives in that red cabin down on ten mile? 564 00:30:37,970 --> 00:30:39,970 Well, she got her head got torn off. 565 00:30:39,972 --> 00:30:42,840 Grandpa! He's in the bathroom. 566 00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:45,209 Well, it's true. It is true! 567 00:30:45,211 --> 00:30:49,980 It got torn right off! Yeah. 568 00:30:49,982 --> 00:30:53,283 Poor thing, she had just gotten into Bemidji state! 569 00:30:53,285 --> 00:30:56,420 Crazy. Yeah. 570 00:30:56,422 --> 00:30:59,523 She was swimming and a boat decapitated her. 571 00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:03,527 But she didn't die right away, she swam around for an hour. 572 00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:06,563 Oh! Maybe a minute or two. No, no! 573 00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:09,099 At least a half-hour! No. 574 00:31:09,101 --> 00:31:12,369 The medic said she was trying to climb up onto Hoffman's dock... 575 00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:15,005 Without her head. 576 00:31:15,007 --> 00:31:18,342 He's making this up. Oh, no, it's true. 577 00:31:18,344 --> 00:31:21,879 Okay, I think I'm gonna get going. 578 00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:24,548 You leaving? Yeah. 579 00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:31,521 This is just so hard. 580 00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:39,997 She's your mom, but she's our little girl. 581 00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:42,399 Oh, Ronnie, don't be... 582 00:31:45,169 --> 00:31:48,672 You just never know what's gonna happen in this life. 583 00:32:42,493 --> 00:32:44,962 Are you mad I'm stopping? 584 00:32:47,732 --> 00:32:50,367 No. 585 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:54,705 Nothing's shrinking them. 586 00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:59,609 I'd rather have a good few months or a year... 50 years. 587 00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:08,585 Are you scared? 588 00:33:10,088 --> 00:33:13,423 No... not scared. 589 00:33:15,193 --> 00:33:19,096 I'm sorry for all the mean things I said when you came out. 590 00:33:19,098 --> 00:33:22,299 That's... that's okay. 591 00:33:24,268 --> 00:33:27,004 No, I'm your mother. 592 00:33:27,006 --> 00:33:30,474 I want to ask your forgiveness for that whole time. 593 00:33:33,411 --> 00:33:35,412 I forgive you. 594 00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:40,384 And when you were little, I dropped you... 595 00:33:40,386 --> 00:33:42,619 And you hit your head on the edge of a table. 596 00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:46,623 I think you're fine, but I'm really sorry that I did that. 597 00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:50,627 It was very bad. 598 00:33:57,435 --> 00:34:03,440 My wish for you is to not be so stressed. It's not worth it. 599 00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:05,575 You can be stress, stress, stress... 600 00:34:05,577 --> 00:34:08,078 And still end up like this. 601 00:34:15,286 --> 00:34:17,387 That's a really good photo of me. 602 00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,456 Yeah, it's pretty. 603 00:34:19,458 --> 00:34:23,193 Your mother was a model, David, just so you know. 604 00:34:27,331 --> 00:34:30,467 Oh well. 605 00:34:34,572 --> 00:34:36,773 I wish we could just like... 606 00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:40,143 Go travel the whole world real quick... 607 00:34:40,145 --> 00:34:44,314 So you could just see everything. 608 00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:47,784 I get to see my whole world at dinner tonight. 609 00:34:57,829 --> 00:35:00,430 All I ever wanted was to be a mother, 610 00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:02,599 that's all I ever wanted. 611 00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:06,203 And I got to do that three times... 612 00:35:06,205 --> 00:35:10,841 So whatever happens, happens. 613 00:35:10,843 --> 00:35:14,377 But I am coming to New York next month to see you perform! 614 00:35:14,379 --> 00:35:18,882 Mm-hm, you can cross that one off the board. 615 00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:25,388 I'll cross it out. 616 00:35:27,692 --> 00:35:31,461 But I don't know if I'll be here for their things, though. 617 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,697 I think you will. 618 00:35:41,172 --> 00:35:42,906 Are you gonna have kids? 619 00:35:47,578 --> 00:35:50,514 I want to. 620 00:35:50,516 --> 00:35:53,850 I love Paul, he's such a nice guy. 621 00:35:53,852 --> 00:35:55,318 Yeah. 622 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,721 You think you're gonna marry him? 623 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:02,592 Maybe, yeah. 624 00:36:02,594 --> 00:36:06,163 Yeah, I think you will. 625 00:36:14,772 --> 00:36:16,773 I farted. 626 00:36:16,775 --> 00:36:20,544 I'm so sorry. That was disgusting. 627 00:36:20,546 --> 00:36:24,614 Wow, that smells so bad. I'm kind of impressed. 628 00:36:24,616 --> 00:36:27,817 I'm sorry. Your mother is disgusting. 629 00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:31,321 No... yes. 630 00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:35,292 All right, everyone, you ready? 631 00:36:35,294 --> 00:36:36,826 It's time for your next team. 632 00:36:36,828 --> 00:36:41,464 Put your hands together for, "Mrs. Roboto!" 633 00:36:54,745 --> 00:36:58,615 Hi, guys! How y'all doin'? 634 00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:02,886 We are "Mrs. roboto" and we are about to do... 635 00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,721 A fully improvised show for you. 636 00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:08,959 We just need a volunteer we can interview about their hometown. 637 00:37:08,961 --> 00:37:10,927 So can I have a volunteer? 638 00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:15,498 Yeah, yes! Bright in the pink, perfect, yeah. 639 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:18,001 So, everybody clap for her. 640 00:37:18,003 --> 00:37:22,939 Oh, hello, so nice to meet you, so nice to meet you, yes, yes. 641 00:37:22,941 --> 00:37:25,542 I can't do this, okay, we actually know her. 642 00:37:25,544 --> 00:37:26,676 This is David's mom. 643 00:37:27,778 --> 00:37:30,747 So, I can't lie. I can't lie. 644 00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:32,816 I just can't lie to you. 645 00:37:32,818 --> 00:37:34,618 Have a seat. 646 00:37:34,620 --> 00:37:36,620 So, I just have some questions I'm gonna ask you... 647 00:37:36,622 --> 00:37:39,589 About where you're from, why don't you answer that? 648 00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:42,726 Um, I'm originally from Austin, Minnesota. 649 00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:44,427 So what was it like growing up there? 650 00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:46,763 What was like your family, what'd you guys do? 651 00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:50,033 Um, well, we lived above a restaurant called the old mill. 652 00:37:50,035 --> 00:37:51,568 The old mill? 653 00:37:51,570 --> 00:37:52,902 Because my father owned the restaurant. 654 00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:54,004 Oh! Okay! 655 00:37:54,006 --> 00:37:56,339 So did you like work... 656 00:37:56,341 --> 00:37:57,974 Did you work there or eat there or what'd you do? 657 00:37:57,976 --> 00:37:59,943 Well, no matter what I was doing... 658 00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:01,544 Whether it was day or night... 659 00:38:01,546 --> 00:38:04,681 My father would call me and make me come wash dishes. 660 00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:06,416 What? 661 00:38:06,418 --> 00:38:08,418 No matter what I was doing, whether I was doing homework... 662 00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:12,856 Or on a date... That's awful, right? 663 00:38:12,858 --> 00:38:15,325 Yeah, exactly. 664 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,294 And I had a grandmother named vi. 665 00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:19,429 Okay. And this is a funny story. 666 00:38:19,431 --> 00:38:21,665 One Christmas, god as my witness... 667 00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:25,302 All my brothers got boxes... 668 00:38:25,304 --> 00:38:28,471 With all her dead husbands' old belts as presents. 669 00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:30,507 What? Just all like... 670 00:38:30,509 --> 00:38:31,808 Like all messed up in a bag. 671 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:34,944 Like a tangled up bag of belts? Of belts. 672 00:38:34,946 --> 00:38:36,846 That is a truly horrible gift. From her dead husband. 673 00:38:36,848 --> 00:38:38,648 Yes. Wow, grandma. 674 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:41,851 And then, that same year, she gave me old bed sheets... 675 00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:45,755 That were ripped up into sections for me to use as pads. 676 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:50,393 What? That's an insane thing to do. 677 00:38:50,395 --> 00:38:52,329 That's a weird thing. 678 00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:53,830 That was my grandmother vi. Okay. 679 00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:56,700 Um, you're lovely. Thank you. 680 00:38:56,702 --> 00:39:00,870 And I think we're good. Guys, please give it up for Joanne! 681 00:39:02,606 --> 00:39:03,707 You can go have a seat. 682 00:39:11,615 --> 00:39:13,616 You know I love you. Yeah, I love you, too. 683 00:39:13,618 --> 00:39:17,687 And I just feel like it's time to take this to the next level. 684 00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,055 Oh, my god, I knew you were going to do this. 685 00:39:19,057 --> 00:39:21,424 I knew you were going to do this. I'm... 686 00:39:21,426 --> 00:39:22,859 Here you go. 687 00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:25,428 A lot of belts tangled up. Yeah. 688 00:39:25,430 --> 00:39:30,667 This is incredible. Oh, my god. You really love me. 689 00:39:30,669 --> 00:39:34,504 Girl, did he give you belts? Yes! 690 00:39:34,506 --> 00:39:36,840 Damn! It's so big! 691 00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:38,575 God, that means he fucking loves you! 692 00:39:38,577 --> 00:39:41,111 I know! Oh, my god! 693 00:39:41,113 --> 00:39:43,980 Don't untangle them! Oh, I'm sorry. 694 00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:46,516 Push! Okay, he's coming, he's coming. 695 00:39:46,518 --> 00:39:49,018 And there you go! 696 00:39:49,020 --> 00:39:50,820 That's great, the breathing and everything... 697 00:39:50,822 --> 00:39:53,623 But if you could try and do some dishes while... 698 00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:57,994 Here, let's have the baby do some dishes, too. 699 00:39:57,996 --> 00:40:02,532 Agh! Cut the cord! Cut the cord! 700 00:40:05,703 --> 00:40:07,837 It's crazy, though! 701 00:40:07,839 --> 00:40:09,706 Wait, I have an even better one. 702 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:12,142 So, some of you might know, I'm a second-grade teacher. 703 00:40:12,144 --> 00:40:13,810 I don't know if David told you. 704 00:40:13,812 --> 00:40:15,712 So we're on the floor, doing show-and-tell... 705 00:40:15,714 --> 00:40:16,913 Like we do every day. 706 00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,915 Show and tell! 707 00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:20,984 And yeah, you remember the days. 708 00:40:20,986 --> 00:40:23,520 And we get to my little student Roberto... 709 00:40:23,522 --> 00:40:24,921 Who David knows I talk about this cute... 710 00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,689 Little boy all the time. 711 00:40:26,691 --> 00:40:28,158 He's just like about the cutest little boy in the world... 712 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,093 A head full of silver teeth. 713 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:31,995 So he says to me... 714 00:40:31,997 --> 00:40:34,931 "Mrs. Mulcahey, my show n tell's still in my backpack". 715 00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:36,833 And I said, "that's okay, honey, go get it out." 716 00:40:36,835 --> 00:40:39,602 He pulls out a fully dead chicken... 717 00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,771 With the feathers still on it. 718 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:50,547 You guys, your mom is so pretty. She's like gorgeous! 719 00:40:50,549 --> 00:40:51,948 You both have her eyes. 720 00:40:51,950 --> 00:40:54,083 Yeah, she looks great! Is she still...? 721 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:57,520 Yeah, yeah, she's still... 722 00:40:57,522 --> 00:40:59,456 Okay, yeah, no, I was, like when I saw her... 723 00:40:59,458 --> 00:41:01,524 I was like, "oh, I guess she's better." 724 00:41:01,526 --> 00:41:04,828 And I was confused, because I remember you said that um... 725 00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:09,999 Yeah, no, I mean she's off chemo. 726 00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:16,539 So, the chemo was makes you sick, so she's... 727 00:41:16,541 --> 00:41:17,841 All right... 728 00:41:17,843 --> 00:41:19,175 Feeling better. 729 00:41:19,177 --> 00:41:23,546 Well, how long will she be off the chemo? 730 00:41:23,548 --> 00:41:28,084 Um, she's not doing it anymore. 731 00:41:32,823 --> 00:41:36,860 Well, can they try, like, radiation or...? 732 00:41:36,862 --> 00:41:42,232 Yeah, we've already been through all that, and... 733 00:41:42,234 --> 00:41:47,804 It's a weird form of cancer, it doesn't really respond... 734 00:41:47,806 --> 00:41:52,041 It's basically just too far spread, it's okay. 735 00:41:57,581 --> 00:41:59,649 David Mulcahey! 736 00:41:59,651 --> 00:42:01,618 Hi... 737 00:42:01,620 --> 00:42:04,821 Oh my god! I saw you at the show, I was like, "it's David!" 738 00:42:04,823 --> 00:42:06,903 Cuz the other day I was like, "where has David been?" 739 00:42:07,124 --> 00:42:09,225 You hate me, don't you? 740 00:42:09,227 --> 00:42:10,693 Yeah, I've been hiding. 741 00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:12,562 I knew it! You do, you hate me. No, no. 742 00:42:12,564 --> 00:42:14,597 He hates me. 743 00:42:14,599 --> 00:42:17,934 It's okay, I'm not really mad, I have been gone, too, so... 744 00:42:17,936 --> 00:42:21,170 My cousin had a wedding in Philly, so I was gone for that. 745 00:42:21,172 --> 00:42:23,806 Then I broke my ankle... Oh, no. 746 00:42:23,808 --> 00:42:25,875 And that was a whole thing, and then I had another wedding. 747 00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:28,878 And then I like just didn't let my ankle heal properly. 748 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,080 So now you know my crazy friends. 749 00:42:31,082 --> 00:42:33,116 - Yeah. - That was really fun. 750 00:42:33,118 --> 00:42:34,751 I feel kind of tipsy. 751 00:42:34,753 --> 00:42:37,687 Is this it? This is it. 752 00:42:37,689 --> 00:42:39,289 I like the gray brick. 753 00:42:39,291 --> 00:42:41,257 The neighborhood is actually really nice... 754 00:42:41,259 --> 00:42:43,893 If you just walk like six blocks that way. 755 00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:47,630 There's a good pizza place. 756 00:42:47,632 --> 00:42:50,166 I apologize in advance for the 9,000 stairs... 757 00:42:50,168 --> 00:42:53,603 You're about to climb, but, uh... 758 00:42:53,605 --> 00:42:54,837 Are you gonna come up? 759 00:42:54,839 --> 00:42:55,972 I c... 760 00:42:58,742 --> 00:43:01,611 Really? Please don't. 761 00:43:01,613 --> 00:43:05,915 Okay, come on, let's go! Should we go up? 762 00:43:05,917 --> 00:43:07,784 Let's go. 763 00:43:08,986 --> 00:43:10,987 Ooh, I like the band-aid on the floor... 764 00:43:10,989 --> 00:43:13,590 It matches the walls. 765 00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:22,098 Hey! Hi, Paul! 766 00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,334 Hi! It's so nice to see you. 767 00:43:24,336 --> 00:43:25,802 You, too. 768 00:43:25,804 --> 00:43:29,205 Hi. I like the shirt. Oh, thank you. 769 00:43:29,207 --> 00:43:31,641 Looking good. Hi! How you doing? 770 00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:33,076 Good, how are you? 771 00:43:34,778 --> 00:43:36,813 Thanks for doing this. 772 00:43:36,815 --> 00:43:38,881 Of course. 773 00:43:38,883 --> 00:43:43,653 So, here is our living room, slash, family room, slash... 774 00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:45,121 Dining room, slash, kitchen. 775 00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:47,156 And you've seen our gorgeous foyer. 776 00:43:47,158 --> 00:43:49,692 You don't need anything more than this! 777 00:43:49,694 --> 00:43:51,861 You've got everything here. 778 00:43:51,863 --> 00:43:53,963 Nice sexy, shiny bedspread. 779 00:43:53,965 --> 00:43:57,000 Oh, sexy, shiny... Thanks, Alex. 780 00:43:57,002 --> 00:43:58,735 It's pretty sexy. 781 00:43:58,737 --> 00:44:01,204 Hey, I'm sorry that I wasn't at the show. 782 00:44:01,206 --> 00:44:03,706 This server who's a liar called in sick. 783 00:44:03,708 --> 00:44:04,907 Oh, it's okay. 784 00:44:04,909 --> 00:44:07,076 It was a great show. It was so funny. 785 00:44:07,078 --> 00:44:10,013 You've gotta tell Paul the... news. 786 00:44:10,015 --> 00:44:11,948 What? 787 00:44:11,950 --> 00:44:16,252 Yeah, I saw the artistic director after... 788 00:44:16,254 --> 00:44:19,122 And he mentioned this ABC show that's staffing... 789 00:44:19,124 --> 00:44:21,024 And he knows the show-runner. 790 00:44:21,026 --> 00:44:23,826 So I'm gonna send in a spec. 791 00:44:23,828 --> 00:44:26,696 That's great! You already have that one you can send. 792 00:44:26,698 --> 00:44:31,034 I mean, it needs a lot of work, but... 793 00:44:31,036 --> 00:44:33,970 Where's your dad? 794 00:44:33,972 --> 00:44:37,173 He's standing downstairs. 795 00:44:39,977 --> 00:44:41,744 Do you have any wine? 796 00:44:41,746 --> 00:44:43,279 Uh, yeah, yeah, we do. 797 00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:46,115 Isn't he waiting? 798 00:44:46,117 --> 00:44:49,018 He is waiting! Do you have any wine? 799 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,753 I'm just in the mood for a glass of wine. 800 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:57,760 Thanks for cleaning. Yeah, no problem. 801 00:44:57,762 --> 00:45:02,832 Your sisters are starting to look so much like your mom. 802 00:45:02,834 --> 00:45:05,401 Really? Yeah, like identical. 803 00:45:12,276 --> 00:45:17,413 Our lease is up on the 30th. 804 00:45:17,415 --> 00:45:19,415 Yeah, I know. 805 00:45:19,417 --> 00:45:22,118 Yeah, so, I'm gonna resign it, but you don't need to worry... 806 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,087 About it. You can leave your stuff here. 807 00:45:24,089 --> 00:45:27,423 Can we talk about that not now? 808 00:45:27,425 --> 00:45:30,193 Please? Okay. 809 00:45:44,942 --> 00:45:47,844 Do you want me to... No, no, I... 810 00:45:53,784 --> 00:45:57,220 I finished like three days ago. I know, shut up, shut up. 811 00:45:59,389 --> 00:46:01,124 Let's just start over. 812 00:46:05,929 --> 00:46:08,297 David, you're kinda... I know, I... 813 00:46:08,299 --> 00:46:11,334 Okay, but you're making a murder face. 814 00:46:30,487 --> 00:46:32,121 Oh, fuck... 815 00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:34,957 I'm sorry, that sucked. 816 00:46:38,797 --> 00:46:41,330 I think that's the best we've ever had. 817 00:46:41,332 --> 00:46:49,071 It was kind of tantric. 818 00:46:52,343 --> 00:46:54,911 Did you wax your butthole? 819 00:46:54,913 --> 00:46:56,445 Haha, what? 820 00:46:56,447 --> 00:46:58,848 You did! 821 00:46:58,850 --> 00:47:01,984 You wa... who are you? 822 00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:06,956 I was just trying it! You know I hate hair. 823 00:47:06,958 --> 00:47:10,893 So are you, like, having sex, then? 824 00:47:10,895 --> 00:47:12,929 Why can't I just wax it for me? 825 00:47:12,931 --> 00:47:16,933 Well, you can, but that seems like a stupid thing to do. 826 00:47:16,935 --> 00:47:21,204 It's fine, if you've had sex. That's fine. 827 00:47:21,206 --> 00:47:24,540 I know it's fine. 828 00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:27,310 So you have? 829 00:47:27,312 --> 00:47:29,612 No. 830 00:47:29,614 --> 00:47:32,982 You paused, so, you have. 831 00:47:32,984 --> 00:47:35,184 You're creating one of your fights. 832 00:47:35,186 --> 00:47:37,520 No, I'm not. Yes, you are. 833 00:47:37,522 --> 00:47:41,591 Also, having sex with other people would be healthy. 834 00:47:41,593 --> 00:47:46,295 You should try it. Or at least, you know, date, flirt. Whatever. 835 00:47:46,297 --> 00:47:49,265 Yeah, right. That's me. 836 00:47:49,267 --> 00:47:54,170 Okay, fine, you just sit inside your head all day. 837 00:48:01,478 --> 00:48:08,317 Okay, so, I haven't had sex... 838 00:48:08,319 --> 00:48:14,156 But I did masturbate like nine times in one day last week. 839 00:48:14,158 --> 00:48:15,925 Wow, nine? 840 00:48:15,927 --> 00:48:20,630 Yeah, ten years later, I'm back on that same twin bed... 841 00:48:20,632 --> 00:48:24,100 Just goin' at it like old times. 842 00:48:24,102 --> 00:48:25,601 You sound wistful. 843 00:48:25,603 --> 00:48:29,138 It was kind of nice, yeah. 844 00:48:29,140 --> 00:48:35,278 I got this huge mahogany desk when I was little. 845 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,979 It's still in there... 846 00:48:36,981 --> 00:48:40,016 And I remember asking specifically for it... 847 00:48:40,018 --> 00:48:41,550 For my 8th birthday. 848 00:48:41,552 --> 00:48:43,552 Yeah, and of course you asked for a mahogany desk... 849 00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:45,588 For your 8th birthday. 850 00:48:45,590 --> 00:48:49,091 And one of the drawers has a lock and key... 851 00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:53,996 So it made sense for me to keep all of my porn in there. 852 00:48:53,998 --> 00:48:57,633 But it wasn't porn, it was like the ads from the Sunday paper. 853 00:48:57,635 --> 00:49:00,970 So there would be like this guy standing there... 854 00:49:00,972 --> 00:49:05,474 In a JC Penney swim suit from the late 90's... 855 00:49:05,476 --> 00:49:08,544 Just working it and... Working it? 856 00:49:08,546 --> 00:49:11,147 And um, I would steal it... Uh-huh. 857 00:49:11,149 --> 00:49:13,950 And masturbate to the same JC Penney man for like months. 858 00:49:13,952 --> 00:49:17,219 Can you imagine masturbating to something like that now? 859 00:49:17,221 --> 00:49:21,023 No, I need like full fucking and novelty. 860 00:49:21,025 --> 00:49:23,626 Right. The worst part... Mm-hm. 861 00:49:25,262 --> 00:49:28,331 Oh, my god. 862 00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:31,033 Was that when I went to college... 863 00:49:31,035 --> 00:49:37,740 I was so worried that my parents would find these photos that... 864 00:49:37,742 --> 00:49:41,477 Instead of just throwing them away like a normal person... 865 00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:46,248 I would cut each of the photos into tiny, little strips... 866 00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:48,751 And then I would soak them in water. 867 00:49:48,753 --> 00:49:50,653 What? 868 00:49:50,655 --> 00:49:56,025 And then I divvied the soggy bits up into different trash bags... 869 00:49:56,027 --> 00:49:59,161 And then threw them away into different garbage cans... 870 00:49:59,163 --> 00:50:00,529 Wait, in case... Of my neighbors'... 871 00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:02,231 Just on the street. Like you were worried... 872 00:50:02,233 --> 00:50:04,066 Someone was gonna piece them back together? 873 00:50:04,068 --> 00:50:05,735 I know. 874 00:50:05,737 --> 00:50:08,404 You think like Sherlock Holmes was trying to out you? 875 00:50:08,406 --> 00:50:11,040 I don't know. Going through the trash? 876 00:50:11,042 --> 00:50:12,408 I don't know. 877 00:50:15,312 --> 00:50:16,779 I was an insane person. 878 00:50:16,781 --> 00:50:20,649 Oh, poor, tiny, terrified, little David. 879 00:50:24,254 --> 00:50:28,457 That's truly horrible. Hey... 880 00:50:28,459 --> 00:50:32,128 I'm sorry I was an asshole about your butthole. 881 00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:34,463 It's okay. 882 00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:38,134 I got it done at this place called wax poetic. 883 00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:40,202 No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. 884 00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:43,305 But the guy who did it, didn't say a single word. 885 00:50:43,307 --> 00:50:46,709 He just like basically grunted. 886 00:50:46,711 --> 00:50:50,713 Did it hurt? Yeah, it hurt... so bad. 887 00:50:54,684 --> 00:50:57,186 Do you want me to spoon you? 888 00:50:57,188 --> 00:50:58,521 You don't have to. 889 00:50:58,523 --> 00:51:02,491 I know, but I want to. I want to. 890 00:51:06,129 --> 00:51:09,098 Just pretend I'm the guy from the JC Penney ad. 891 00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:11,434 Oh, in your dreams. 892 00:51:11,436 --> 00:51:14,670 I got sand on my feet in a moderately-priced... 893 00:51:14,672 --> 00:51:17,540 Modest swim trunk. 894 00:51:24,682 --> 00:51:27,750 It's such a beautiful day. Mm-hm. 895 00:51:27,752 --> 00:51:29,685 I might run a little bit. Okay. 896 00:51:29,687 --> 00:51:31,353 You want to run with me, just kinda...? 897 00:51:31,355 --> 00:51:32,721 Yeah. 898 00:51:32,723 --> 00:51:35,224 Yeah, I just want to get my heart rate up. 899 00:51:35,226 --> 00:51:37,393 Okay. I wanna run. 900 00:51:53,343 --> 00:51:55,277 Hey. 901 00:51:55,279 --> 00:51:57,146 Beccah's at work. I was gonna go for a walk. 902 00:51:57,148 --> 00:51:58,681 Would you wanna come? 903 00:51:58,683 --> 00:52:01,417 Oh, I'm okay. Thanks, though. 904 00:52:01,419 --> 00:52:04,320 I'm gonna... I gotta finish this. Okay. 905 00:52:32,849 --> 00:52:34,450 Fuck it. 906 00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:35,711 Do you have any idea what we're about to witness? 907 00:53:35,713 --> 00:53:38,881 I don't know, per Se, but what I do know is that it is called... 908 00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:41,717 "An evening of movement and dance for my father... 909 00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,386 "Rod Stewart, on his 60th birthday." 910 00:53:44,388 --> 00:53:48,424 And you'll notice right when you open it up there's a rose petal. 911 00:53:48,426 --> 00:53:51,427 Which is v-tasteful, I'm very proud. 912 00:53:51,429 --> 00:53:55,264 I never realized your dad's name is actually rod Stewart. 913 00:53:55,266 --> 00:53:57,800 Yeah, it's been very hard for him. 914 00:53:57,802 --> 00:54:01,870 Hi, everybody. Hey, hello, hello. 915 00:54:01,872 --> 00:54:05,741 Well, first of all, thank you for coming to my birthday. 916 00:54:05,743 --> 00:54:07,243 And I just got the word from Justin... 917 00:54:07,245 --> 00:54:08,477 That he's ready to come down, so... 918 00:54:08,479 --> 00:54:10,379 No, I... 919 00:54:10,381 --> 00:54:12,982 Sorry, ignore that. We don't know where he's gonna come from. 920 00:54:12,984 --> 00:54:16,352 Oh, and he wanted me to say, please make sure all your... 921 00:54:16,354 --> 00:54:21,290 Phones are completely on and that the flash is also on. 922 00:54:21,292 --> 00:54:24,326 All right, uh, I'm supposed to hit play, hold on. 923 00:54:26,329 --> 00:54:27,463 Justin ladies and gentlemen... 924 00:54:27,465 --> 00:54:28,831 A quick note before the show. 925 00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:31,333 I, Justin, could not be with you tonight. 926 00:54:31,335 --> 00:54:33,636 So instead, sit back, relax... 927 00:54:33,638 --> 00:54:38,507 And enjoy dancing from my best friend... Justina Carrera. 928 00:55:44,008 --> 00:55:45,574 Oh my god. 929 00:56:00,991 --> 00:56:02,825 Yes, yes, yes. 930 00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,934 Can we be arrested for this? 931 00:56:11,936 --> 00:56:15,771 I feel like we all can and should go to jail. 932 00:56:15,773 --> 00:56:18,140 Okay, you're just jealous, because this kid's 1000 times... 933 00:56:18,142 --> 00:56:19,808 More confident than you'll ever be. 934 00:56:28,519 --> 00:56:32,621 Oh, my god! Ah! 935 00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:37,059 Stunning! 936 00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:40,162 That was so stressful. 937 00:56:40,164 --> 00:56:42,898 I mean, that was the best thing I've ever seen... 938 00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:44,767 In my entire life. 939 00:56:50,173 --> 00:56:52,074 Did I tell you that me and my family... 940 00:56:52,076 --> 00:56:55,444 Went to New York last month? No. 941 00:56:55,446 --> 00:56:58,847 And I took them by to see me and Paul's apartment. 942 00:56:58,849 --> 00:57:01,150 And my dad wouldn't come up. No! 943 00:57:01,152 --> 00:57:04,686 Yes, and we were having such a nice time, before that. 944 00:57:04,688 --> 00:57:06,955 Do the... have you told them that you're not together any more? 945 00:57:06,957 --> 00:57:09,691 No, I haven't told them. Oh, god, David. 946 00:57:09,693 --> 00:57:13,529 It's just... 947 00:57:13,531 --> 00:57:17,499 I just want my mom to die thinking I'm doing okay. 948 00:57:17,501 --> 00:57:19,735 That's all. 949 00:57:33,783 --> 00:57:36,518 Do you ever cry about your mom? 950 00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,654 Now? Mm-hm. 951 00:57:41,524 --> 00:57:45,461 No. You know, I mean, I get sad... 952 00:57:45,463 --> 00:57:49,698 And you know, it comes in waves. 953 00:57:49,700 --> 00:57:55,103 But I haven't like cried, cried, in like, awhile? 954 00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,676 We haven't been in church in like three months. 955 00:58:00,678 --> 00:58:03,912 Your family? That's huge. Mm-hm. 956 00:58:03,914 --> 00:58:07,516 I thought this was the time where I'm was supposed to get... 957 00:58:07,518 --> 00:58:08,984 All "religious-y". 958 00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:11,887 And I keep waiting for that beautiful moment... 959 00:58:11,889 --> 00:58:13,856 Of revelation about life. 960 00:58:13,858 --> 00:58:16,859 I mean, I thought when your mom dies, you get like a moment... 961 00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:19,795 Where you're both like sitting on a park bench... 962 00:58:19,797 --> 00:58:25,701 On a beautiful day, and then, all of a sudden... 963 00:58:25,703 --> 00:58:30,873 You hear the voice of god and just everything becomes clear. 964 00:58:32,242 --> 00:58:37,813 I want that... I want that moment. 965 00:58:40,717 --> 00:58:41,950 I... 966 00:58:45,555 --> 00:58:49,992 I weirdly had like, that moment, sort of. 967 00:58:49,994 --> 00:58:51,927 Yeah? Yeah. 968 00:58:51,929 --> 00:58:53,929 I remember when my mom died, everyone at church was like... 969 00:58:53,931 --> 00:58:55,964 Like, you know, uh you know... 970 00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:58,834 "At least she'll be looking down on you, you know, from heaven." 971 00:58:58,836 --> 00:59:02,237 Which is... I mean, it is the worst thing that you can hear. 972 00:59:02,239 --> 00:59:03,972 Yes. 973 00:59:03,974 --> 00:59:06,608 But the one meaningful thing anyone said to me... 974 00:59:06,610 --> 00:59:09,978 In that entire time, was from my mom. 975 00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:12,548 We were outside... Good start. 976 00:59:12,550 --> 00:59:17,019 Um, just a warning, this is gonna get very gay. 977 00:59:17,021 --> 00:59:19,087 Okay. 978 00:59:19,089 --> 00:59:23,091 We were in our backyard, and... 979 00:59:23,093 --> 00:59:28,897 I remember her saying something about how much she loved birch trees, you know, which I already knew. 980 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:33,268 But then she said, "when I die, I'm gonna be a birch tree. 981 00:59:33,270 --> 00:59:35,671 "So when you see one, that's me." 982 00:59:35,673 --> 00:59:38,607 And, you know, I fully should've forgotten it... 983 00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:41,643 'Cause it's such a small, random thing and people say bullshit... 984 00:59:41,645 --> 00:59:43,812 Like that all the time, but it has always stuck with me... 985 00:59:43,814 --> 00:59:46,982 Because you know, now I literally always think of her... 986 00:59:46,984 --> 00:59:50,319 When I see a birch tree, and it is so nice. 987 00:59:50,321 --> 00:59:51,720 Yeah. 988 00:59:51,722 --> 00:59:53,622 You know, and I do not believe... 989 00:59:53,624 --> 00:59:55,724 In the "she's looking down on you" thing, at all. 990 00:59:55,726 --> 00:59:58,327 But, you know, she said she was a birch tree. 991 00:59:58,329 --> 01:00:00,262 And I know she's not really one... 992 01:00:00,264 --> 01:00:04,333 But... I don't know, she sort of is. 993 01:00:04,335 --> 01:00:06,055 'Cause now every time I see one, I'm like... 994 01:00:07,103 --> 01:00:10,072 "There's mom". 995 01:00:10,074 --> 01:00:13,208 So I didn't learn some huge lesson... 996 01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:18,747 But that was my Jesus-y moment, you know, sans Christ. 997 01:00:18,749 --> 01:00:21,149 And I will always have it. 998 01:00:21,151 --> 01:00:23,251 That's really nice. 999 01:00:34,098 --> 01:00:37,766 Don't look at us, we're drug addicts! 1000 01:00:37,768 --> 01:00:39,668 Hello. 1001 01:00:39,670 --> 01:00:40,902 David, don't. 1002 01:00:40,904 --> 01:00:42,838 What's going on? 1003 01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:45,707 We're drug addicts, David, it's time that you knew. 1004 01:00:45,709 --> 01:00:49,645 Okay. Is dad okay? 1005 01:00:49,647 --> 01:00:54,182 Dad has to give his report on the school tomorrow... 1006 01:00:54,184 --> 01:00:56,118 He has to go into the... 1007 01:00:58,988 --> 01:01:00,956 He has to go to the district office... 1008 01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:03,091 And give this school report. 1009 01:01:03,093 --> 01:01:05,160 You know what your speech should just be, Norman? 1010 01:01:05,162 --> 01:01:07,696 You should go in... 1011 01:01:09,132 --> 01:01:11,800 "Attention, here's my progress report... 1012 01:01:11,802 --> 01:01:15,070 "My wife is dying and we smoked too much pot... 1013 01:01:15,072 --> 01:01:17,139 "And they had to take us to the emergency room... 1014 01:01:17,141 --> 01:01:20,709 "Because my wife ate too many potato chips." 1015 01:01:20,711 --> 01:01:22,210 Wait, you went to the emergency room? 1016 01:01:22,212 --> 01:01:23,378 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 1017 01:01:23,380 --> 01:01:25,414 What'd they say? 1018 01:01:25,416 --> 01:01:28,050 They said you took too much pot and you gotta go home. 1019 01:01:28,052 --> 01:01:31,420 They said you took too much pot, get your ass out of here. 1020 01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:33,255 Very... high. 1021 01:01:33,257 --> 01:01:36,058 They said, get your... 1022 01:01:37,994 --> 01:01:39,261 That's what they said. 1023 01:01:39,263 --> 01:01:41,863 They said, hey... 1024 01:01:44,100 --> 01:01:47,269 I thought you didn't wanna try medical marijuana. 1025 01:01:47,271 --> 01:01:50,372 Well, I tried it! 1026 01:01:50,374 --> 01:01:54,276 I see that. But why are you so stoned? 1027 01:01:54,278 --> 01:01:56,111 How much butter did you use? 1028 01:01:56,113 --> 01:01:57,713 Just one stick! 1029 01:01:57,715 --> 01:02:00,182 You used a whole stick? Mm-hm. 1030 01:02:00,184 --> 01:02:01,883 Wait, how do you know how much goes in there? 1031 01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:05,754 Because I smoke pot. I'm stoned right now. 1032 01:02:07,457 --> 01:02:09,157 Drink some water. 1033 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:14,062 Good for you, David. Live your life. 1034 01:02:14,064 --> 01:02:15,197 I will. 1035 01:02:15,199 --> 01:02:18,133 Live your life, you too, Norman. 1036 01:02:18,135 --> 01:02:19,968 When I die, you gotta live your life. 1037 01:02:19,970 --> 01:02:22,003 Except you can't date anyone for a year... 1038 01:02:22,005 --> 01:02:24,873 And you can't date that slut who came to the door today. 1039 01:02:24,875 --> 01:02:27,275 As in Lisa, the one that brought you a pie? 1040 01:02:27,277 --> 01:02:30,045 Eh, only a slut would come to the door with dessert. 1041 01:02:30,047 --> 01:02:32,247 You're supposed to bring a lasagna or something like that. 1042 01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:34,049 I didn't know that. 1043 01:02:34,051 --> 01:02:38,253 Well, I'm gonna go find Alex and Beccah... have fun. 1044 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,023 Come in! 1045 01:02:42,025 --> 01:02:43,191 Hi. 1046 01:02:43,193 --> 01:02:44,426 Did you see mom? 1047 01:02:44,428 --> 01:02:46,328 Yes. What happened? 1048 01:02:46,330 --> 01:02:48,096 I came home from work and they were like that. 1049 01:02:48,098 --> 01:02:49,965 It's your fault. 1050 01:02:49,967 --> 01:02:51,500 I didn't wanna tell them they were putting too much butter... 1051 01:02:51,502 --> 01:02:53,935 Because then they were gonna ask how I know. 1052 01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:55,470 Ask how you know? Alex, look at your shirt! 1053 01:02:55,472 --> 01:02:57,239 They know you do drugs. 1054 01:02:57,241 --> 01:02:59,074 Look at your shirt! They didn't know you were gay! 1055 01:02:59,076 --> 01:03:00,909 This is just blue. 1056 01:03:00,911 --> 01:03:04,045 It was like my favorite night with them like, ever. 1057 01:03:04,047 --> 01:03:05,247 That's nice. 1058 01:03:05,249 --> 01:03:07,082 You shoulda been there. 1059 01:03:07,084 --> 01:03:10,118 They're like pot jolly ranchers if you wanna do em sometime. 1060 01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:12,254 Yeah... maybe. 1061 01:03:12,256 --> 01:03:16,358 Does that mean no? No, it means maybe. 1062 01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,426 Well, I'm gonna put mom to bed now. 1063 01:03:18,428 --> 01:03:20,796 And then maybe do you wanna hang out? 1064 01:03:20,798 --> 01:03:22,564 Oh, that's okay. 1065 01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:25,133 Thanks, but I'm gonna try and do some writing while she's asleep. 1066 01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:27,469 Always writing. 1067 01:03:46,989 --> 01:03:50,525 I'm glad we're doing this. Yeah. 1068 01:03:50,527 --> 01:03:53,595 Yeah, the school looks pretty. 1069 01:03:56,599 --> 01:03:59,568 I like the birch trees. 1070 01:03:59,570 --> 01:04:03,038 You like birch trees, right? 1071 01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:04,040 Mm-hm. 1072 01:04:09,111 --> 01:04:11,146 Okay, ladies, ladies, ladies... 1073 01:04:11,148 --> 01:04:14,482 Ladies and gentleman... Thank you. 1074 01:04:14,484 --> 01:04:16,852 To the start of another good year! 1075 01:04:16,854 --> 01:04:18,553 And for having Joanne with us today! 1076 01:04:18,555 --> 01:04:20,355 Cheers! To Joanne! 1077 01:04:21,891 --> 01:04:23,391 Joanne, do not judge my room. 1078 01:04:23,393 --> 01:04:25,861 I know that it is a disaster zone. 1079 01:04:25,863 --> 01:04:27,329 Your mother always had her room set up... 1080 01:04:27,331 --> 01:04:29,931 Weeks before the school year started. 1081 01:04:29,933 --> 01:04:31,933 We hated her. 1082 01:04:31,935 --> 01:04:34,502 I guess I have a tough act to follow then, huh? 1083 01:04:34,504 --> 01:04:36,504 Well, if you teach with us, all that matters is... 1084 01:04:36,506 --> 01:04:37,906 Do you like wine? 1085 01:04:37,908 --> 01:04:40,508 Exactly. Oh, my god, yes! 1086 01:04:40,510 --> 01:04:44,279 Joanne, she's gonna take over for you just fine. 1087 01:04:44,281 --> 01:04:46,381 Joanne, I really like this top. 1088 01:04:46,383 --> 01:04:48,416 Target. Where? 1089 01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:50,318 Target. Target. 1090 01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:51,653 You always have the cutest stuff. 1091 01:04:51,655 --> 01:04:53,154 You really do. 1092 01:04:53,156 --> 01:04:55,423 And target has really good stuff. 1093 01:04:55,425 --> 01:04:57,559 They really do! I love it there. 1094 01:04:57,561 --> 01:05:00,328 Vicki, Vicki? 1095 01:05:00,330 --> 01:05:03,965 Vicki, you're getting Roberto's little brother this year. 1096 01:05:03,967 --> 01:05:05,934 Oh, good luck. 1097 01:05:05,936 --> 01:05:07,535 I'm sorry, who am I... Who am I getting? 1098 01:05:07,537 --> 01:05:09,671 Roberto's little brother this year. 1099 01:05:09,673 --> 01:05:11,606 Roberto's brother, the one with the silver teeth. 1100 01:05:11,608 --> 01:05:16,511 Mm-hm. Uh-huh. 1101 01:05:16,513 --> 01:05:22,150 Roberto. I had him two years ago. He brought the chicken. 1102 01:05:24,620 --> 01:05:28,924 His little brother is in our clas... your class, this year. 1103 01:05:28,926 --> 01:05:32,494 See, that's why Joanne's retiring. 1104 01:05:33,963 --> 01:05:35,196 I see. 1105 01:05:35,198 --> 01:05:37,198 I like Roberto. 1106 01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:40,101 We can leave whenever you want, okay? 1107 01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,469 And now what was the chicken story, though? 1108 01:05:41,471 --> 01:05:43,104 I missed that. 1109 01:05:43,106 --> 01:05:45,173 Joanne, you gotta tell her. Yeah, tell her. 1110 01:05:47,543 --> 01:05:54,049 We were doing show n tell, and he pulled out his backpack... 1111 01:05:54,051 --> 01:05:55,116 His what? 1112 01:05:55,118 --> 01:05:57,986 His backpack. 1113 01:05:57,988 --> 01:06:04,459 He says, "Mrs. Mulcahey, I brought this chicken"... 1114 01:06:04,461 --> 01:06:05,694 Eww. 1115 01:06:05,696 --> 01:06:09,998 I'm sorry, what was going on? 1116 01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:11,566 It was show n tell. 1117 01:06:11,568 --> 01:06:15,103 Oh, I didn't... I missed that part! Ah, go on. 1118 01:06:15,105 --> 01:06:17,439 You tell the story. You can tell... 1119 01:06:17,441 --> 01:06:20,175 No, go on, please, go on. 1120 01:06:20,177 --> 01:06:22,277 Okay, so... I mean, Joanne tells it better, but... 1121 01:06:22,279 --> 01:06:23,979 So he pulls out this backpack... 1122 01:06:23,981 --> 01:06:28,016 And inside is a like legit, full-on dead chicken. 1123 01:06:28,018 --> 01:06:33,621 Not from a store, with feathers on it, newly dead. 1124 01:06:33,623 --> 01:06:36,124 Oh, no! 1125 01:06:36,126 --> 01:06:38,760 We laughed so hard I thought I was gonna pee my pants. 1126 01:06:38,762 --> 01:06:40,628 Joanne did. 1127 01:06:47,636 --> 01:06:49,504 My mom wanted me to give you these. 1128 01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:52,307 They're little boxes that she made for the kids... 1129 01:06:52,309 --> 01:06:55,010 With their names on 'em and all their pencils... 1130 01:06:55,012 --> 01:06:56,511 And little candies and stuff. 1131 01:06:56,513 --> 01:07:00,115 Oh my god. Joanne! 1132 01:07:00,117 --> 01:07:03,184 This is too much. You did not have to do this. 1133 01:07:03,186 --> 01:07:05,053 One less thing for you to have to do. 1134 01:07:05,055 --> 01:07:07,622 And I put a candy in each one... 1135 01:07:07,624 --> 01:07:09,791 But you can take it out, if you want to. 1136 01:07:09,793 --> 01:07:11,793 Thank you so much. 1137 01:07:11,795 --> 01:07:15,430 Your mother is the best. She's just the be St. 1138 01:07:15,432 --> 01:07:21,603 All right, okay, um, well, come visit! 1139 01:07:21,605 --> 01:07:24,739 You know, stop by any time, it's your classroom. 1140 01:07:24,741 --> 01:07:28,543 I'm just babysitting, so... 1141 01:07:28,545 --> 01:07:30,045 Okay. 1142 01:07:33,682 --> 01:07:35,583 You okay? 1143 01:07:43,626 --> 01:07:45,226 Okay. 1144 01:08:00,142 --> 01:08:03,344 You're lucky, I was gonna finish off your fries. 1145 01:08:03,346 --> 01:08:04,746 I bet you can't get fries that good... 1146 01:08:04,748 --> 01:08:06,781 In any fancy New York diner. 1147 01:08:06,783 --> 01:08:10,085 Nope. 1148 01:08:10,087 --> 01:08:11,719 So, Alex, have you decided what you want to do... 1149 01:08:11,721 --> 01:08:13,521 For your birthday? 1150 01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:15,356 It's October. 1151 01:08:15,358 --> 01:08:18,593 Yeah, but December 1st is gonna be here before you know it. 1152 01:08:25,835 --> 01:08:31,406 Does anybody have any questions about what's going on with mom? 1153 01:08:33,375 --> 01:08:37,212 This is... her body is shutting down. 1154 01:08:37,214 --> 01:08:40,482 That's... that's what you're noticing. 1155 01:08:47,423 --> 01:08:49,224 How's Daniel? 1156 01:08:49,226 --> 01:08:51,192 Good. Good. 1157 01:08:51,194 --> 01:08:52,861 Working a lot. 1158 01:08:52,863 --> 01:08:55,763 I'm so grateful that you've had him through this. 1159 01:08:55,765 --> 01:08:57,565 Yeah. 1160 01:08:57,567 --> 01:08:58,900 How about you? You dating anybody? 1161 01:08:58,902 --> 01:09:01,169 When would I do that? 1162 01:09:01,171 --> 01:09:03,671 Well, what about... what's his name, Pete? 1163 01:09:03,673 --> 01:09:05,673 From... the homecoming guy? 1164 01:09:05,675 --> 01:09:07,542 Ew. He has little, baby corn teeth. 1165 01:09:07,544 --> 01:09:10,211 I loved his teeth. 1166 01:09:12,181 --> 01:09:15,783 How about you, David? How's the writing going? 1167 01:09:19,889 --> 01:09:21,556 It's great. 1168 01:09:21,558 --> 01:09:23,925 Yeah, did you turn in the ABC script? 1169 01:09:23,927 --> 01:09:25,293 Yeah. 1170 01:09:26,362 --> 01:09:28,463 That's good! 1171 01:09:28,465 --> 01:09:31,266 And how's Paul? 1172 01:09:31,268 --> 01:09:35,370 He's good. Thanks for asking. 1173 01:09:37,641 --> 01:09:40,675 Ooh, it's grandma. I'll be right back. 1174 01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:45,480 Hey Ruth-Anne... 1175 01:09:45,482 --> 01:09:49,450 It's like, what the fuck? He still can't ask about Paul? 1176 01:09:49,452 --> 01:09:52,387 You've never asked about me or Rebeccah. 1177 01:09:52,389 --> 01:09:54,289 What, Alex? Yes, I have. 1178 01:09:54,291 --> 01:09:59,327 Other people are sad, too. 1179 01:09:59,329 --> 01:10:02,797 I know that. 1180 01:10:02,799 --> 01:10:05,867 What ev... 1181 01:11:13,869 --> 01:11:18,473 So, on a scale of one to, like, a fucking million... 1182 01:11:18,475 --> 01:11:21,576 How terrible is everyone on ok cupid? 1183 01:11:21,578 --> 01:11:22,877 What? 1184 01:11:22,879 --> 01:11:25,346 Like a fucking trillion, right? 1185 01:11:25,348 --> 01:11:27,282 Well, I mean, they're not that bad. We're on it. 1186 01:11:27,284 --> 01:11:29,517 Well, yeah, I mean we're great. We're fantastic people. 1187 01:11:29,519 --> 01:11:34,022 But like everyone else, fucking lunatics, right? 1188 01:11:35,624 --> 01:11:38,760 It might just be 'cause it's Sacramento. 1189 01:11:38,762 --> 01:11:40,762 I kind of like Sacramento. 1190 01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:41,963 Really? 1191 01:11:41,965 --> 01:11:43,431 Yeah. 1192 01:11:43,433 --> 01:11:44,666 I'm like, kind of drunk, I think. 1193 01:11:44,668 --> 01:11:45,900 Really? Yeah. 1194 01:11:45,902 --> 01:11:50,004 You know, I'm feeling good. 1195 01:11:50,006 --> 01:11:52,907 I'm not. 1196 01:11:52,909 --> 01:11:55,877 I mean, I guess I just thought that we were like eating. 1197 01:11:55,879 --> 01:11:57,645 When I said 9:00... 1198 01:11:57,647 --> 01:12:00,481 I just thought it was implied it was just drinks only. 1199 01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:03,951 You are just trying to make me black out. 1200 01:12:03,953 --> 01:12:06,921 What? No, I'm not, no. Aren't you? 1201 01:12:06,923 --> 01:12:08,356 I'm kidding. 1202 01:12:08,358 --> 01:12:10,425 Right. 1203 01:12:23,639 --> 01:12:25,473 So, we are we going? 1204 01:12:25,475 --> 01:12:27,575 Um... Next. 1205 01:12:27,577 --> 01:12:29,744 We could go watch a movie at my place. 1206 01:12:29,746 --> 01:12:31,679 I got mirror, mirror at the grocery store. 1207 01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:33,848 Oh, my fucking god. 1208 01:12:33,850 --> 01:12:34,982 That's just all they had. 1209 01:12:34,984 --> 01:12:37,051 That's all they had? 1210 01:12:39,021 --> 01:12:41,556 I'm gonna get a pen. Okay. 1211 01:12:56,438 --> 01:12:58,973 I really would love to watch a movie with you... 1212 01:12:58,975 --> 01:13:02,844 It's just, I have to be up at like 6:00... 1213 01:13:02,846 --> 01:13:04,445 To help my mom, that's not a line. 1214 01:13:04,447 --> 01:13:06,381 Your mom? Yeah, she's sick. 1215 01:13:06,383 --> 01:13:08,516 Oh. No, it's fine. 1216 01:13:08,518 --> 01:13:11,552 No, I'm sorry about that, it's not fine. 1217 01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:16,124 She just started hospice, so now is most definitely not fine. 1218 01:13:16,126 --> 01:13:19,794 But... it's fine. 1219 01:13:22,798 --> 01:13:24,399 Okay, I think I need to go to the bathroom. 1220 01:13:24,401 --> 01:13:26,134 Okay. 1221 01:13:26,136 --> 01:13:27,735 I'm really sorry, I feel like I'm being the weird one... 1222 01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:30,004 On this date, which I'm normally the normal one. 1223 01:13:30,006 --> 01:13:32,540 It's okay. On dates. 1224 01:13:32,542 --> 01:13:34,742 But I'll just be right back. 1225 01:13:55,998 --> 01:13:57,598 Fuck. 1226 01:14:32,468 --> 01:14:35,002 I'm back. Hey. 1227 01:14:35,004 --> 01:14:36,671 Are you okay? Yeah. 1228 01:14:36,673 --> 01:14:41,008 No, I just... I was just... 1229 01:14:41,010 --> 01:14:45,046 I threw up on my face. 1230 01:14:47,549 --> 01:14:48,883 Norman hey, it's dad. 1231 01:14:48,885 --> 01:14:50,184 You must be still at the gym. 1232 01:14:50,186 --> 01:14:51,953 Maybe boxing or something. 1233 01:14:51,955 --> 01:14:54,989 Anyway, would you mind picking up some toilet paper... 1234 01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:56,724 And some laxatives? 1235 01:14:56,726 --> 01:14:59,494 Just make sure to get the suppository kind. 1236 01:14:59,496 --> 01:15:01,629 Okay? Thank you! 1237 01:15:01,631 --> 01:15:03,764 Fuck. 1238 01:15:10,139 --> 01:15:12,707 Announcer mm. You're listening to the lineup. 1239 01:15:12,709 --> 01:15:15,176 Urging you to love somebody tonight. 1240 01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:18,913 This next song is going out to Alan in Iraq. 1241 01:15:18,915 --> 01:15:21,282 Your fiance Trish loves you very much... 1242 01:15:21,284 --> 01:15:24,919 And thanks you for all that you do for your country. 1243 01:15:24,921 --> 01:15:29,056 Alan, here's "drops of Jupiter". 1244 01:15:29,058 --> 01:15:31,659 Oh my fucking fuck! 1245 01:15:38,867 --> 01:15:40,701 Where is the medicine? 1246 01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:42,803 Toothpaste. 1247 01:15:42,805 --> 01:15:46,607 Medicine! 1248 01:15:46,609 --> 01:15:51,045 Okay, where are the fucking laxatives? 1249 01:15:53,215 --> 01:15:57,118 What the fuck? Aisle 5, medicine, health, wellness... 1250 01:15:57,120 --> 01:16:00,154 I literally need something that is all of these things. 1251 01:16:02,791 --> 01:16:05,760 Where the fuck is it? 1252 01:16:06,828 --> 01:16:09,163 Oh, my god, oh, my god. 1253 01:16:09,165 --> 01:16:11,832 Bunch of fucking bouncy balls in the medicine aisle... 1254 01:16:11,834 --> 01:16:14,235 But there's no fucking medicine. 1255 01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:17,939 Hello? Anyone? Am I in a ghost store? 1256 01:16:20,742 --> 01:16:25,046 Hi. I was just looking for your laxatives. 1257 01:16:25,048 --> 01:16:27,648 Not for me. Yeah, that'll be aisle 5. 1258 01:16:30,118 --> 01:16:32,353 Okay. Okay. 1259 01:16:32,355 --> 01:16:35,856 Go back to aisle 5... With the fucking medicine... 1260 01:16:35,858 --> 01:16:37,959 And no laxatives. 1261 01:16:37,961 --> 01:16:41,729 That's what I'll do, I'll look at all the same shit... 1262 01:16:41,731 --> 01:16:42,964 I already looked at. 1263 01:16:42,966 --> 01:16:45,700 My god, I fucking hate this place. 1264 01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:48,936 I fucking hate this, aspirin, I fucking hate this... 1265 01:16:48,938 --> 01:16:52,173 Fucking Robitussin, fucking q-tips. 1266 01:16:52,175 --> 01:16:54,842 What the fuck, this fucking lady? 1267 01:16:54,844 --> 01:16:59,180 Fucking... oh, my god. 1268 01:17:01,750 --> 01:17:06,053 What the fuck? Where the fuck is it? 1269 01:17:06,055 --> 01:17:08,222 I'm a fucking good person. 1270 01:17:08,224 --> 01:17:11,325 I'm a fucking good person! Where are the laxatives? 1271 01:17:11,327 --> 01:17:13,961 I just fucking want to find the laxatives. 1272 01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:17,932 Where the fuck are the laxatives? 1273 01:17:23,138 --> 01:17:25,239 Are you okay? 1274 01:17:28,777 --> 01:17:34,715 Um... I was just looking for laxatives. 1275 01:17:36,351 --> 01:17:40,154 They're right here... In front of you. 1276 01:17:45,093 --> 01:17:46,961 Thank you. 1277 01:17:46,963 --> 01:17:49,664 Hope you feel better. 1278 01:19:34,369 --> 01:19:37,972 Hey... you okay? 1279 01:19:40,041 --> 01:19:42,276 I didn't get the show, so... 1280 01:19:42,278 --> 01:19:46,013 Oh... shoot, I'm sorry. 1281 01:19:46,015 --> 01:19:49,283 Yeah, this other guy got it. I found out on Twitter. 1282 01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:51,886 Oh, that's frustrating. 1283 01:19:55,857 --> 01:19:59,093 Mike Madrigan, he's like eleven. 1284 01:19:59,095 --> 01:20:02,363 An eleven-year-old. 1285 01:20:02,365 --> 01:20:07,334 Maybe you weren't supposed to get this job... 1286 01:20:07,336 --> 01:20:10,137 So that you could be here. 1287 01:20:10,139 --> 01:20:12,439 Everything happens for a reason. 1288 01:20:12,441 --> 01:20:14,542 Yeah, I don't believe that. 1289 01:20:24,386 --> 01:20:29,523 Listen, um... 1290 01:20:29,525 --> 01:20:34,328 If you wanna invite him to dinner sometime... 1291 01:20:34,330 --> 01:20:38,432 Him, who? That'd be... 1292 01:20:38,434 --> 01:20:40,901 Paul. Paul? 1293 01:20:40,903 --> 01:20:43,370 Paul. We broke up. 1294 01:20:43,372 --> 01:20:45,873 So, you're too late. 1295 01:20:45,875 --> 01:20:48,542 I'm sor... I didn't know you... I didn't know you broke up. 1296 01:20:48,544 --> 01:20:53,547 Oh my god. Oh, my god! I just wanted to... 1297 01:20:53,549 --> 01:20:57,117 We were together five years, and he can come to dinner now? 1298 01:20:57,119 --> 01:21:00,554 David, I just want... What is this? What... 1299 01:21:00,556 --> 01:21:04,124 You and I bought fucking diapers together for her today. 1300 01:21:04,126 --> 01:21:07,261 We sat with the hospice and picked up medicine together. 1301 01:21:07,263 --> 01:21:11,932 I've been fucking living with you in your house... 1302 01:21:11,934 --> 01:21:17,004 For 10 months... And it's been good... 1303 01:21:17,006 --> 01:21:20,507 Because I keep thinking, "oh, I like the way he's helping mom". 1304 01:21:20,509 --> 01:21:22,877 Or "maybe he's getting more accepting"... 1305 01:21:22,879 --> 01:21:24,411 But then it's like, you won't even come up to my apartment... 1306 01:21:24,413 --> 01:21:26,213 Whenever we're in New York? 1307 01:21:26,215 --> 01:21:30,017 It's like this one little thing and you won't do it! 1308 01:21:30,019 --> 01:21:32,419 You won't! 1309 01:21:32,421 --> 01:21:36,056 I'm gonna be fucking 30-years-old! 1310 01:21:36,058 --> 01:21:39,226 And mom's gonna be dead, and then what? 1311 01:21:39,228 --> 01:21:47,001 Um, are we gonna be closer then? Like, do I still come home? 1312 01:21:47,003 --> 01:21:50,337 Or, what? Because I want to! Of course, you come home. 1313 01:21:50,339 --> 01:21:57,111 I want to want to! But it's just... it's been ten years... 1314 01:21:57,113 --> 01:22:02,983 And I will not be nervous saying "he" or "boyfriend"... 1315 01:22:02,985 --> 01:22:05,486 Around you anymore, because it fucking sucks! 1316 01:22:05,488 --> 01:22:08,355 It fucking sucks! 1317 01:22:08,357 --> 01:22:11,592 And I've had such a shitty, lonely year. 1318 01:22:11,594 --> 01:22:17,097 And I can't bother mom with any of this... 1319 01:22:17,099 --> 01:22:19,066 And I can't talk to you about any of this. 1320 01:22:19,068 --> 01:22:20,601 So, what am I supposed to do? 1321 01:22:20,603 --> 01:22:22,403 I can't even talk to you about the fact that I'm gay. 1322 01:22:22,405 --> 01:22:25,072 Of course, you can talk to me. No, I can't. 1323 01:22:25,074 --> 01:22:30,511 About that, David, I've always said, I'm available any time... 1324 01:22:30,513 --> 01:22:34,014 You want to debate that. It's not a fucking debate! 1325 01:22:36,217 --> 01:22:38,352 It's not a fucking debate. 1326 01:22:49,097 --> 01:22:52,433 I'm sorry I keep cursing at church, but I feel a lot better. 1327 01:22:52,435 --> 01:22:54,234 I don't give a shit. 1328 01:22:56,705 --> 01:22:58,739 And I haven't been working out. 1329 01:22:58,741 --> 01:23:00,407 I went to the gym once... 1330 01:23:00,409 --> 01:23:03,110 And I just sat in my car and read us weekly. 1331 01:23:08,717 --> 01:23:11,618 Anything else you want to talk about? 1332 01:23:14,022 --> 01:23:18,659 When mom dies, Paul's coming. 1333 01:23:18,661 --> 01:23:22,363 I want him here, so Paul's coming. 1334 01:23:36,244 --> 01:23:39,113 Hi, Joanne! Can you see me? 1335 01:23:39,115 --> 01:23:40,180 Hi. We can see you, hi! 1336 01:23:40,182 --> 01:23:41,615 Can you see me, guys? 1337 01:23:41,617 --> 01:23:44,251 Yes, we can see you, Patti, just talk! 1338 01:23:44,253 --> 01:23:45,486 Can you see me? 1339 01:23:45,488 --> 01:23:47,121 Yes, just talk. Just say anything. 1340 01:23:47,123 --> 01:23:48,555 What's wrong? Other than, can you see me. 1341 01:23:48,557 --> 01:23:51,358 Can you see me, all of you? Mm-hm. 1342 01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:54,161 Oh, Joanne, look at you! You look beautiful! 1343 01:23:54,163 --> 01:23:56,163 Thank you. 1344 01:23:56,165 --> 01:23:59,299 Joanne, Fletcher's here! Steve... that's funny. 1345 01:23:59,301 --> 01:24:01,435 Love those. Joanne, I forgot to tell you! 1346 01:24:01,437 --> 01:24:03,437 I'm glad that I didn't heal you with that wand. 1347 01:24:03,439 --> 01:24:06,540 That pastor's in prison now, computer scam or something. 1348 01:24:06,542 --> 01:24:08,409 I don't want to hog this... 1349 01:24:08,411 --> 01:24:09,710 Because everyone's been wanti" to say hi to you. 1350 01:24:09,712 --> 01:24:11,278 Hi, Joanne! 1351 01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:12,646 Hey! Bride, the blushing bride! 1352 01:24:12,648 --> 01:24:14,248 Hi! You look so pretty. 1353 01:24:14,250 --> 01:24:15,716 Wait, what was that? 1354 01:24:15,718 --> 01:24:18,252 Joanne said you look so pretty. You look so pretty. 1355 01:24:18,254 --> 01:24:20,754 Joanne wants you to know how gorgeous you look. 1356 01:24:20,756 --> 01:24:23,457 Oh, thank you, thank you, so do you! 1357 01:24:23,459 --> 01:24:25,325 I dressed up for your wedding. 1358 01:24:25,327 --> 01:24:27,461 She's all dressed up. She's got her party dress on. 1359 01:24:27,463 --> 01:24:29,296 Oh! 1360 01:24:29,298 --> 01:24:30,531 She's wearing that 70's dress from new year's. 1361 01:24:30,533 --> 01:24:32,332 With the boots, remember the white boots? 1362 01:24:32,334 --> 01:24:34,635 She just wanted to get dressed up. 1363 01:24:34,637 --> 01:24:38,605 Oh! Hey! It's Lynne! Is that you? It is you! 1364 01:24:38,607 --> 01:24:41,241 Hi. Hi! It's Lynne! 1365 01:24:41,243 --> 01:24:43,177 I like your hair. What? 1366 01:24:43,179 --> 01:24:44,745 Joanne... she likes your hair. She likes your hair. 1367 01:24:44,747 --> 01:24:46,747 Your hair, yes, it's short. 1368 01:24:46,749 --> 01:24:48,415 Your hair. Your hair. 1369 01:24:48,417 --> 01:24:50,084 What? Is this a movie? 1370 01:24:50,086 --> 01:24:51,418 What are we looking at? 1371 01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:52,853 Hi, grandma and grandpa. 1372 01:24:52,855 --> 01:24:54,321 Who's that? 1373 01:24:54,323 --> 01:24:56,123 That's grandma and grandpa. 1374 01:24:56,125 --> 01:24:59,126 Get in, so she can see. It's too many people. 1375 01:24:59,128 --> 01:25:01,628 Hi! Hi, mom! 1376 01:25:01,630 --> 01:25:06,100 Oh, Becc, you look so beautiful. 1377 01:25:06,102 --> 01:25:08,735 She says you look so beautiful. 1378 01:25:08,737 --> 01:25:11,472 Thank you, mom, you do, too. 1379 01:25:11,474 --> 01:25:13,640 I wore my new year's dress. 1380 01:25:13,642 --> 01:25:15,676 Okay, Joanne, we gotta get seated. 1381 01:25:15,678 --> 01:25:17,811 I love you, mom, I'll see you tomorrow. 1382 01:25:17,813 --> 01:25:20,514 I love you the whole world, Beccah. 1383 01:25:20,516 --> 01:25:22,382 Say bye! Bye! 1384 01:25:22,384 --> 01:25:23,851 Say goodbye, everybody! 1385 01:25:23,853 --> 01:25:25,786 Bye! Bye! Bye! 1386 01:25:25,788 --> 01:25:30,257 I love you! Miss you! 1387 01:25:30,259 --> 01:25:33,260 Pastor to have and to hold, from this day forward. 1388 01:25:33,262 --> 01:25:35,596 In sickness and in health. 1389 01:25:35,598 --> 01:25:38,365 So long as you both shall live? I do. 1390 01:25:38,367 --> 01:25:41,535 Then with the power vested in me, by the Lutheran church... 1391 01:25:41,537 --> 01:25:43,403 And the state of Minnesota... 1392 01:25:43,405 --> 01:25:45,439 I pronounce you husband and wife. 1393 01:25:45,441 --> 01:25:47,608 So you may kiss the bride. 1394 01:25:58,419 --> 01:26:00,454 It's really nice out. 1395 01:26:00,456 --> 01:26:03,690 I might just sit down just for like a minute. 1396 01:26:03,692 --> 01:26:05,425 Yeah. 1397 01:26:38,459 --> 01:26:40,227 Mom? 1398 01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:47,601 You're okay. It's okay, you're okay. 1399 01:26:47,603 --> 01:26:49,236 Help me up... 1400 01:26:49,238 --> 01:26:53,607 Use my arm. David, I was trying to... 1401 01:26:53,609 --> 01:26:56,743 It's okay, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay. 1402 01:26:58,680 --> 01:27:02,449 You're okay. You're okay. 1403 01:27:02,451 --> 01:27:04,918 That scared me. 1404 01:27:07,822 --> 01:27:12,526 You're okay. I feel so embarrassed. 1405 01:27:12,528 --> 01:27:15,395 It happens. 1406 01:27:17,265 --> 01:27:20,867 I'm embarrassed. Don't be. 1407 01:27:22,704 --> 01:27:27,674 Oh, David, at the wedding, they saw me... 1408 01:27:27,676 --> 01:27:31,878 They saw me and they felt bad for me, I got so confused. 1409 01:27:34,282 --> 01:27:37,651 I don't want to do this anymore. 1410 01:27:37,653 --> 01:27:41,989 I hate that this is happening to you. 1411 01:27:44,993 --> 01:27:51,865 I'm tired. I don't want you to think I'm giving up. 1412 01:27:51,867 --> 01:27:56,370 No, if it's time for you to rest, we want you to rest. 1413 01:27:56,372 --> 01:28:02,609 I tried so hard. I know, you did. 1414 01:28:08,783 --> 01:28:11,818 Thank you for coming here. So nice of you to come here. 1415 01:28:11,820 --> 01:28:14,054 I know it's hard for you. 1416 01:28:14,056 --> 01:28:17,724 I really appreciate it. 1417 01:28:20,995 --> 01:28:24,431 Paul and I broke up. 1418 01:28:24,433 --> 01:28:26,833 I know. 1419 01:28:31,873 --> 01:28:34,841 It's okay. 1420 01:28:34,843 --> 01:28:41,982 And I didn't get that job, but I promise I'm gonna be okay. 1421 01:28:41,984 --> 01:28:43,550 You don't have to worry about me. 1422 01:28:43,552 --> 01:28:45,452 I don't worry. 1423 01:28:45,454 --> 01:28:48,055 There's something else that I'm working on... 1424 01:28:48,057 --> 01:28:53,460 And I know my apartment is small, but I'll be okay. 1425 01:28:53,462 --> 01:28:55,729 No, yeah. 1426 01:28:55,731 --> 01:28:58,799 Just see your sisters. 1427 01:28:58,801 --> 01:29:02,703 What? 1428 01:29:02,705 --> 01:29:08,442 I used to be so scared you'd all forget about me. 1429 01:29:08,444 --> 01:29:11,044 But I walked by the pictures of the three of you... 1430 01:29:11,046 --> 01:29:14,981 And I see me in each of you. 1431 01:29:14,983 --> 01:29:17,384 So I know that you won't forget about me... 1432 01:29:17,386 --> 01:29:20,954 Because I'm right there in all your faces. 1433 01:29:20,956 --> 01:29:23,523 We could never forget about you. 1434 01:29:24,559 --> 01:29:27,794 That's nice. 1435 01:29:27,796 --> 01:29:31,064 When you miss me and you want to see me... 1436 01:29:31,066 --> 01:29:34,701 You just come home and see your sisters. 1437 01:29:34,703 --> 01:29:36,603 You gotta be good to them, David. 1438 01:29:36,605 --> 01:29:40,907 Take care of them. Be a good big brother, okay? 1439 01:29:40,909 --> 01:29:42,909 They're your sisters. 1440 01:29:45,680 --> 01:29:47,681 I promise, I will, I'm sorry. 1441 01:29:47,683 --> 01:29:50,150 Nothing else matters. 1442 01:29:50,152 --> 01:29:52,919 I will, I promise. See your sisters. 1443 01:29:52,921 --> 01:29:54,955 It's very important. I promise, I will. 1444 01:29:54,957 --> 01:29:57,057 Nothing else matters. 1445 01:29:57,059 --> 01:29:59,893 I promise. 1446 01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:01,628 You have such a big heart. 1447 01:30:01,630 --> 01:30:03,497 I love you. 1448 01:30:03,499 --> 01:30:07,000 Take care of them, okay? Because they're your little sisters. 1449 01:30:07,002 --> 01:30:10,971 I will, I promise, I promise. 1450 01:30:19,781 --> 01:30:23,784 Oh, she's gone. She's gone. 1451 01:30:23,786 --> 01:30:27,621 We love you. 1452 01:30:27,623 --> 01:30:30,590 We love you so much. 1453 01:30:32,026 --> 01:30:35,128 I love you. I love you.