NO, I'M NOT PAYING THAT, FORGET IT!
Man: THANK YOU.
SIR LANCELOT, COULD YOU PLEASE GET DOWN.
FINE.
� WELL, I FOUND THAT SILVER LINING �
� ON THE DAY THAT YOU WERE GONE �
� SATIN SHEETS SURROUNDED ME ALL NIGHT THEN ALL DAY LONG �
ALRIGHT, SIR LANCELOT, I'M GOING.
HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. I'M TAKING THE CANDY CORNS.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
Man rapping: T--T--TERRIBLE, WE'LL MAKE EXAMPLES OUT OF YOU.
I COULD STUTTER ALL THE WAY THROUGH
BUT I'M STILL SHAKING THE FLU.
MESS WITH IT, WANT ME ON YOUR SHIT
THEN THERE'S A PRICE WITH IT TILL I'M FLAT AND I'M FIFTY.
THEY'RE GOING PLATINUM WITH MY RAP TUNE.
NICE WITH THE VOCABULARY,
THESE AIN'T REGULAR LYRICS, NIGGA.
THIS IS YOUR OBITUARY.
[MAN OVER P.A.]
Man: HELLO?
HA!
SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.
MAYBE I MADE A MISTAKE.
HI. I'M CHRIS.
Man: NO, THERE'S NO MISTAKE.
AH, ACTUALLY YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE EARLY, THAT'S ALL.
WELL... SORRY.
I BROUGHT SOME PUMPKIN BREAD.
THANK YOU. THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
Chris: YEAH.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
[WOMAN BURSTING IN LAUGHTER]
SURE.
THANKS FOR INVITING ME.
OK.
FUCKING GET HIM! [WOMAN SCREAMING]
GET HIM. HOW DID YOU FIND US?
Man: FUCKING GET HIM!
Chris: NO, NO, LET GO, LET GO, LET GO.
WELCOME TO YOUR MURDER.
Woman: HIS LITTLE CARDBOARD OUTFIT REALLY FREAKED ME OUT.
Man: I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL THAT LIGHT CHAIN CAME FROM,
THAT WASN'T THERE.
YOU WERE GREAT, YOU WERE SO SEXY SCREAMING LIKE THAT.
Woman: I DON'T KNOW, HIS COSTUME'S PRETTY HILARIOUS.
I THINK HE MIGHT BE RETARDED.
YOU KNOW, LEXI, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THE BEST IDEA
TO USE A CELL PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRIME.
WELL, SNAPPING PHOTOS
ISN'T A GREAT IDEA EITHER, DILDO!
Lexi: HELLO, HEY...
HEY, LET'S GO TO CICERO'S PARTY. WHY?
THIS IS THE PARTY,
WE'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR WEEKS
AND CICERO'S A FUCKING ASS HOLE.
WHAT'S THIS SHIT?
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH ALEXANDER, HE'S ON HIS WAY OVER.
LOOK, I DON'T THINK WE ACTUALLY THOUGHT
SOMEONE WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO SHOW UP.
Man: THE INVITATION SAID "MURDER PARTY."
IF SOME JACK ASS IS DUMB ENOUGH TO COME HERE
THEN HE DESERVES TO DIE.
HE'S A WHITE MALE, HE'S PERFECT.
ARE YOU REPUBLICAN?
DON'T MAKE THIS POLITICAL. THIS IS ABOUT ART.
THERE'S NOTHING MORE POLITICAL THAN ART.
OH, THIS IS ABOUT IMPRESSING ALEXANDER AND YOU KNOW THAT, PAUL.
FUCK YOU, SKY, I WANT A GRANT.
LOOK, CICERO'S PARTY IS LIKE TEN BLOCKS AWAY,
LET'S JUST GO THERE.
THIS IS ENOUGH.
WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALEXANDER.
LET'S VOTE.
FUCK A VOTE.
THIS HAS BEEN DECIDED AND WHAT THE CHRIST, SKY?
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT BROUGHT THE JUG OF ACID,
I MEAN, HARDCORE, RIGHT? [SKY SIGHS]
BILL? WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT?
YEAH? YOU READY TO MURDER THIS DILDO?
I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR A SECOND DEGREE SALT PARTY.
FINE.
OK, WHAT IF I HAD AN IDEA THAT WILL MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY?
NO ONE HAS TO DIE BUT IT'S VIOLENT,
AND WHEN WE'RE DONE, WE'LL RULE THE SCENE.
OK, SO, WHAT IS IT?
IS...ARE THERE RAISINS IN THIS?
ARE THEY ORGANIC?
OH MY, GOD, YOU'RE ALLERGIC, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE, ARE YOU?
SHOULD I CALL 911?
NO!
I'LL BE FINE, I JUST GET REALLY DIZZY.
I JUST NEED TO SIT DOWN. I GET REALLY DIZZY.
IT'S PRESERVATIVES, I'M ALLERGIC TO 'EM.
HERE. ALRIGHT, WE'LL THEN, THEN I CAN GET BACK TO...
[CRASH]
OOPS!
SMELLS LIKE CUT GRASS.
WHAT?
[HEAVY BREATHING]
SKY JUST DIED.
OH, SHIT!
YOU KILLED HER.
YOU'RE BREAD. [MUMBLING]
YEAH!
YOU! I'M GONNA KILL HIM RIGHT NOW!
LOCK THIS MOTHER FUCKER DOWN!
WAIT, WAIT, WE GOTTA WAIT FOR ALEXANDER BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING.
Man: THIS IS HAPPENING!
YEAH, YEAH!
WHAT?! WHAT, MOTHER FUCKER, WHAT?!
I WANNA HEAR THE SCREAMING. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
AAAAAAH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
YEAH! NO, NO, NO, NO.
YEAH! AAAH! AAH!
BURN! YEAH!
OH! OH! OH! I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY I DID THAT.
I'M SORRY! ARE YOU... OH, FUCK!
I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT.
HA HA HA! OH, MY GOD!
Lexi: WHAT'S HAPPENING? I DON'T KNOW.IT SAYS "ACETIC ACI
WELL IT SMELLS LIKE... VINEGAR?
I'LL LOOK IT UP ON THE INTERNET.
I THINK IT'S VINEGAR.
ASSHOLE.
HEY! AND I THOUGHT WE AGREED
NO ALCOHOL UNTIL THE DEED WAS DONE.
HEY! I JUST DID THE DEED!
AND BESIDES THERE'S A PILE OF COCAINE
ON THE TABLE AND SKY IS DEAD.
COKE, ISN'T A DEPRESSANT, IT ENHANCES MY POWERS.
I'M JUST SAYING YOU KNOW...
WHAT WE SAID WAS NO ALCOHOL AND NO WEED.
IT'S VINEGAR.
Man: VINEGAR? GREAT. WE--WE CAN PICKLE HIM TO DEATH.
[PHONE RINGING] AAA!
OH MY GOD, IT'S ALEXANDER. HE'S HERE.
Man: THIS IS A CLUSTER FUCK!
HE'S GONNA THINK WE'RE A BUNCH OF DILDOS.
NOT IF DOESN'T SEE THE BODY.
WE SHOULD HIDE THE BODY.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID.
ALEXANDER! HEY.
YEAH, THAT'S COOL, I'LL BE DOWN IN A SEC.
MAYBE WE SHOULD CHOP UP HER BODY
AND TAKE HER TEETH OR SOMETHING.
JUST HIDE THE BODY. USE THE PLASTIC!
NO, NO PLASTIC IS FOR THIS GUY.
WHO FUCKING GIVES A SHIT!
COME ON. Lexi: AA!
ALRIGHT, HOW DO YOU WANNA DO THIS? LIKE A BURRITO.
JUST LIFT. Lexi: JUST ROLL HER.
OK, BRING HER OVER HERE.
OH! YOU...
ALRIGHT.
OH MY GOD, JUST DRAG HER.
PICK HER UP! PICK HER UP!
JESUS CHRIST, SHE'S HEAVY!
YOU GOT HER? ONE, TWO, THREE, GO. AH!
Man: OK. Lexi: OK, SHUT THE BIN.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[HISSES]
AAA! YOU SCARED ME. HA HA HA.
LEXI, YOU LOOK SMASHING TONIGHT. THANKS.
AAH! AAH! AW!
Alexander: YOU ALRIGHT, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
EVERYONE, THIS IS HELL HAMMER, HE'S PART DINGO.
Lexi: OH, HIS COSTUME IS ADORABLE.
AND THIS IS ZYCHO, MY NEW BEST FRIEND.
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE, PAUL?
VAMPIRE, ER, 19TH CENTURY VAMPIRE.
Alexander: ME TOO.
WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE FANGS?
UH, FROM A...A GOTH STORE, YOU KNOW,
DOWNTOWN, THEY'RE RESIN, ACTUALLY.
TAKE 'EM OFF, PAUL.
WHAT? TAKE OFF YOUR VAMPIRE FANGS.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
[BREATHES] OK.
Man on game: HEADSHOTS...
Alexander: TAKE THEM OFF, PAUL.
AND TAKE OFF YOU VAMPIRE COAT.
AND YOUR VAMPIRE SHIRT.
AND NOW TAKE OFF YOUR VAMPIRE PANTS.
[SHOE DROPS]
YOU'RE HAIRY. MHH!
OK, SO...
WHO IS THIS DILDO?
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
ACHEW!
I'M SORRY, I'M REALLY ALLERGIC.
I'M JUST GONNA TAKE HIM OUTSIDE. COME ON.
HEY, ZYCHO, GRAB THIS GUY'S WALLET.
[GRUNTS]
HM, AW.
CHRISTOPHER S. HOLLY, YOU'RE OLD.
OH! I NEEDED GOOD DENTISTS.
IS THIS GUY ANY GOOD?
I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING A CAVITY.
HEY, WHERE'S SKY? Lexi: NO SHOW.
I THINK SHE WENT TO CICERO'S PARTY.
WHAT A DIRTY WHORE.
ANYWAY WHAT ARE THE PICTURES, BITCHES?
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
DON'T BLOW THIS, MACON.
MMH. OK, WE'RE GONNA CUT THIS GUY IN A HALF,
WE'RE GONNA DUMP HIS BODY IN A VACANT LOT,
WE'RE GONNA USE THE PRESSED UP THINGS
AS PART OF THE PAPER MACHE ELEMENTS
OF A MASSIVE MULTI MEDIA METAL STRUCTURE
WITH PARTICIPATIONAL, ER...
ER, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME START OVER.
UM, MAYBE SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE PROGRESSIVE.
WE'LL STAPLE A PANCAKE TO HIS FACE
AND PUSH HIM IN FRONT OF THE 'G' TRAIN
AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW SO...
Macon: EVER-WHAT HAPPENS... LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
WELL, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A VIDEO INSTALLATION AND IT'S ALMOST DONE.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT INCORPORATING
TONIGHT'S EVENTS INTO THE INSTALLATION.
WELL, COME HERE.
Lexi: COME HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.
I CALL IT UM, "VALIDICTION IN BLACK".
SO I WANNA KEEP IT REALLY ABSTRACT LIKE THIS.
AAA! Camera operator: AREN'T THEY PRETTY?
OH, THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME!
I COULDN'T FIND A REAL ONE SO I TOTALLY...
[CAMERA OPERATOR VOICEOVER] [SCREAMING]
OH, GOD, IT'S SO GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALREADY GOT A VENUE FOR IT.
REALLY? WHAT VENUE?
AH, EUROPHOLIES. IT'S RIGHT OFF BEDFORD.
YEAH, IT'S THAT JUICE BAR
WITH A DIGITAL PROJECTOR IN THE BACK... NICE.
OH, PAUL, YOU'RE NOT MAD? WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE?
I THINK MY PHOTOGRAPHS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.
PAUL, COME HERE.
I WAS JUST MESSING AROUND WITH YOU EARLIER.
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE THE BLOOD PUMPING THROUGH YOUR VEINS.
PAUL, YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS...
ARE EXCELSIOR.
WHO IS THIS GUY? I MEAN, WHY IS HE EVEN HERE?
ZYCHO, HE'S MY DRUG DEALER.
HE SELLS OUT OF THE BACK OF HIS PARENTS' PEROGI SHOP.
IT'S ALRIGHT, HE'S NOT GONNA HURT YOU, HIS GUN IS FAKE.
IT'S JUST PART OF HIS COSTUME.
WHAT'S HIS COSTUME?
PAUL, I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO TRUST ME,
YOU'RE THE FRONT RUNNER FOR THE GRANT.
[SPEAKS FRENCH] WHAT YOU GOT, BUDDY?
I DON'T KNOW. I WAS GONNA CUT HIS DICK OFF
AND SET HIM ON FIRE.
I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU, DUDES.
I REALLY WANTED YOU TO CHALLENGE YOURSELVES ON THIS ONE.
I WANTED YOU TO FORGET THAT I HAVE ACCESS TO GRANT MONEY.
IN EXCESS OF $300,000, DID I MENTION THAT?
YOU NEED TO DEFEND YOUR TERRITORY,
YOUR ARTISTIC JURISDICTION,
YOUR HUNTING GROUNDS.
YOUR PREY IS INSPIRATION.
INSPIRATION IS SHIT! UNLESS YOU EXECUTE.
TONIGHT WE EXECUTE.
IN THREE YEARS... FUCK THAT, SIX MONTHS...
THERE'S GONNA BE A STARBUCKS, WHOLE FOODS, JAMBA JUICE, COZY.
WHERE'S THE INSPIRATION IN THAT?
AND THIS WAREHOUSE...
WILL NO DOUBT BE CONVERTED INTO OVER PRICED CONDOS
MARKETED AS THIS ARTIST'S LOFTS.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
NO, THIS WILL BE ARTIST'S LOFTS... OURS.
BECAUSE WHAT WE DO HERE TONIGHT WILL CHANGE THINGS FOREVER.
DON'T THINK OF THIS DILDO AS A VICTIM.
THINK OF HIM AS A COLLABORATOR.
IT'S HIS PRIVILEGE TO BE HERE THIS EVENING.
I ASK FOR ONE THING, SO PRECIOUS LITTLE.
WHEN OUR MASTER PIECE IS COMPLETE,
AND THE CORONER'S REPORT IS BACK IN,
THEY WILL READ THE CAUSE OF DEATH... ART.
SO, THINK BEYOND SPLATTERING BLOOD ON CANVAS
OR DEATH BY PAPER MACHE.
JACKSON POLLOCK IS BORING.
AND I'VE SEEN THAT SCORSESE FILM WITH THAT GUY.
THINK HYPER-ARTISTIC, THINK...
NO.
THE ART IS THE ACT ITSELF.
WE'LL WAIT UNTIL THE WITCHING HOUR,
AND THEN WE'LL STAB HIM,
WE'LL ALL STAB HIM TILL HE DIES.
THE WITCHING HOUR IS BRILLIANT.
Paul: THE WITCHING HOUR IS MIDNIGHT. Alexander: YEAH.
Macon: YEAH, I KNOW WHAT WITCHING HOUR IS.
I'M SAYING I'M GONNA NEED SOME FOOD BEFORE THEN.
Paul: YOU WANNA ORDER FOOD?
YEAH, I CAN PICK IT UP INCOGNITO.
Alexander: ALSO, MACON, I WANT YOU TO GET SOME CAKE.
WE CAN'T HAVE A PARTY WITHOUT CAKE. AND PIZZA.
NO PIZZA.
I FEEL LIKE... CHINESE. WILLIAM?
I'LL EAT ANYTHING. QUAIL.
HOW ABOUT THAI FOOD, YOU LIKE THAI FOOD.
I HAD THAI FOOD YESTERDAY. SUSHI?
I DON'T REALLY LIKE SUSHI.
YEAH, I THINK WE SHOULD RULE ASIAN OUT ALL TOGETHER.
CHEESE BURGERS. I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.
DO YOU GUYS WANNA DO LIKE BREAKFAST, LIKE PANCAKES OR SOMETHING?
MILK SHAKES.
I COULD DO MEXICAN. WILLIAM? I'LL EAT ANYTHING.
LET'S LET ZYCHO DECIDE. ZYCHO?
DO THEY HAVE FISH AND CHIPS? I SMELL VINEGAR.
OH, YEAH, HOW MOD. ANYTHING BUT FISH.
JUST GET A FUCKING PIZZA!
WITH SAUSAGE. PLAIN.
SHIT. GODDAMN IT!
SHIT! SHIT!
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
THERE HE IS!
AAH! [CHAINSAW ON]
AH! THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS!
THE DOOR!
[CHAINSAW STARTS]
[HEAVY BREATHING, COUGHING]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
AH, SHIT!
YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING A GLARE ON HIS GLASSES.
CAN I GET ONE OF YOU GUYS TO JUST GO OVER...
[MUMBLES]
I GOT THE PIZZA.
LEXI?
IS THIS THE CAKE? YEAH.
THE CAKE IS FOR HIM.
LEXI'S PUSSY SCREAMED AT ME. IT WHAT?
[SCREAMS]
ALEXANDER, I AM BORED.
GO GRAB THE NIPPLES, I'LL SPIKE HIS GUTS.
QUIT NOW. NO TO THIS...
CAN I USE YOUR CELLPHONE, PLEASE?
OH, I WOULD BUT...
YOU SHOULDN'T USE A CELLPHONE WHILE COMMITTING A CRIME.
HI? YEAH, CAN YOU ACTUALLY COME DOWN HERE PLEASE?
YEAH, THE ADDRESS SHOULD BE ON MY COMPUTER.
NO THESE GUYS ARE...
OK, EVERYONE, ZYCHO BROUGHT US A TREAT.
I CALL THIS EXTREME TRUTH OR DARE.
ALL THE KIDS ARE DOING IT IN BELARUS.
WHAT IS IT? SODIUM AMYTAL.
IT'S TRUTH SERUM.
ALEXANDER, I LOVE IT.
THERE'S NOT EVEN ENOUGH NEEDLES, I'M NOT SHARING THIS.
I'LL SHARE WITH LEXI. EWW!
THAT'S CREEPY, AND I DON'T DO NEEDLES.
YOU CAN'T EVEN FEEL A NEEDLE. I CAN.
YOU DID NOT FEEL THE ONE THAT I'VE JUST INJECT YOU.
YOU FUCKING PRICK!
HEY, RELAX, SWEETHEART.
Zycho: HEY, WOLF MAN? MMH?
FOR YOU.
OH.
I'LL DO THAT SHIT.
Alexander: HEY, ZYCHO, LET ME GET MINE.
LET'S EXPLORE THE DARKNESS.
YEAH, NO THANK YOU. DON'T BE SUCH A DILDO, PAUL.
COME ON, DILDO.
YEAH, MAN UP, PAUL.
PAUL, THIS IS EXTREME TRUTH OR DARE,
THE REAL CIA, KGB SHIT. Zycho: HM.
KGB USE PURE ALCOHOL.
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY, I MEAN...
A SIMILAR EFFECT AS BARBITURATE.
PAUL, I HAVE A BIG BAG OF TRICKS PLANNED FOR TONIGHT
SO FORGET ABOUT THIS GUY FOR NOW
AND, UH, STOP BRINGING US DOWN, MAN. YOU'RE A REAL DRAG.
PAUL, IS HIS OWN LITTLE BARBITURATE.
[LAUGHTER]
LEXI IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND. [LEXI LAUGHS]
PAUL PUTS THE BITCH IN BARBITURATE.
BILL'S MY NEW BEST FRIEND.
THERE ARE TWO R'S IN BARBITURATE,
BUT AMERICANS DON'T CARE.
PAUL NEEDS TO HAVE HIS... I'M HAVING A GAS.
THIS IS FUN.
WHAT IS THAT?
SODIUM AMYTAL, SAME THING.
UH, I SAW THAT ONE COMING. [LEXI LAUGHS]
THE CHAINSAW. HA HA HA.
THIS ACTUALLY IS PRETTY, UM, FANG-TASTIC.
[ALL LAUGH]
PAUL'S PUSSY HAS A SMALLER CLITORIS THAN LEXI'S.
I DON'T THINK THAT ONE'S FUNNY.
DUDES, LET'S STICK TO THE POINT.
WE'RE GETTING OFF TRUCK AND I NEED SOMETHING MORE CONCRETE
IF I WANNA TURN THIS IN TO THE BOSS.
WELL, THERE'S NO NEED TO WIG OUT.
[ALL LAUGH]
Lexi: OH, LOOK.
WHAT IN THE HELL DOES HE WANT? TO EXTINGUISH OUR FUN.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY? MMMH.
IS IT A PUN? OH, SHIT, HE'S GOT A PUN.
F--F--FORGET IT, I--I--I THINK, I THINK I MISSED MY MOMENT.
SAY IT!
IT'S NOT...IT'S NOT GONNA BE FUNNY ANYMORE.
HEY, MACON, GRAB ME THAT CHAINSAW.
NO, OK, I'M SORRY. UM...
I GOT ONE, IT'S, "I'M HAVING ONE HECK OF A CRAZY NIGHT
"BUT WITH THE K, WITH THE ARMOR,
"I DON'T DESERVE TO BE PUN-NISHED."
HA! HA! HA HA HA HA!
YOU'RE MY NEW BEST FRIEND.
WOO!
THIS IS FUN.
SHOULD WE JUST ASK EACH OTHER QUESTIONS?
Lexi: WHO'S THE BEST ARTIST HERE?
All: ME.
JINX.
I DIG THAT THOUGH, EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN TRUTH.
LET'S HEAR SOME SECRETS.
Bill: I DON'T WANNA BE HERE.
I WANT TO BE AT HOME
WATCHING A DVD WITH MY DAD AND MY MOM.
NOT WITH A WHORE.
I HAVE A SECRET.
I LOVE THAT YOU DID THAT.
IT FELT REAL TO ME.
AND I LOVE YOU.
SO, LET'S PLAY THIS GAME.
LET'S BE REALLY HONEST.
I CAN LIE.
SERIOUSLY, SOMEBODY ASK ME A QUESTION.
MM, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
BLUE.
SEE? IT'S PURPLE.
PURPLE HAS GOT A LOT OF BLUE IN IT.
OK. WE ALL KNOW YOUR FAVORITE FOOD, SO WHAT IS IT?
I'M BISEXUAL. I THINK EVERYONE IN THE WORLD PROBABLY IS.
I MAKE SEX WITH PILLOW.
Macon: HEY, LEXI, LEXI...
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO,
WHEN WE WENT AND WE WATCHED THEM DETONATE THE OLD WATER TOWERS
FROM THE ROOF OF THAT FACTORY
AND WE SMOKED THAT HASH THAT TESTED LIKE SOAP?
AND WE HAD ICE-CREAM BARS, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT, LEXI?
VAGUELY.
YOU WENT HOME WITH THAT GUY NAMED GUNS
TO--STRETCH OUT YOUR EAR LOBES?
OH YEAH, THE WATER TOWERS.
WELL...
AFTER YOU LEFT I PICKED UP YOUR POPSICLE STICK
FROM THE ICE-CREAM.
WHEN I WAS SEVEN I WROTE A LETTER TO SANTA CLAUSE
AND ASKED NOT TO BE JEWISH.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS SAY ABOUT ME?
YOU KNOW WHEN AM NOT AROUND?
WE MOSTLY TALK ABOUT HER.
WE'RE KICKING YOU OUT OF THE COLLECTIVE.
THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY TALENTED
AND WE ARE INSECURE.
I HATE THAT.
NOW WHEN I GO TO A GOOD MOVIE OR A GREAT EXHIBIT...
I HATE IT.
I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO BE BAD BECAUSE WHEN SOMETHING IS GOOD
THERE IS NO ROOM FOR ME.
I USED TO LOVE ART, NOW I JUST HATE IT.
I WANT IT TO SUCK.
YOU GUYS SUCK.
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
DO YOU WHO THAT PERSON IS, IT'S...
IF YOUR AFRAID TO F-- I'M AFRAID TO FLY...
WHEN YOU ARE ON THE PLANE
AND YOU ARE WORRIED THAT IT'S GOING TO CRASH.
PERSON YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT RIGHT THEN THAT'S WHO YOU LOVE.
WE DO A LOT OF DRUGS.
WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A DRUG DEALER?
FEELS GOOD.
THAT DIDN'T SELL IN PEROGIES.
BUT HAVE TO DEAL WITH NIGGERS.
SEE I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A RACIST ASSHOLE
BUT, I'M FASCINATED WITH THE WORD "NIGGER".
Paul: OH-OH. IT HAS CAUSED SO MUCH DAMAGE.
IT'S THE MOST POWERFUL WORD IN THE UNITED STATES.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
SEE WHAT I MEAN HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THE WORD MADE YOU?
AND YOU HAVE A CONFEDERATE MOUTH BUCKLE.
THIS IS A WALLET.
I HATE WHITE PEOPLE.
ALRIGHT, LET'S WRAP THIS UP.
ALEXANDER,
DO YOU REALLY HAVE $300,000 IN GRANT MONEY?
NO.
IT'S MORE LIKE HALF A MILLION.
I DUMPED MYSELF.
EWE. GODDAMN IT.
YES, IN-- AT MY COUSIN'S WEDDING.
I WAS RUNNING LATE AND GOT STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR
AND I WAS THERE FOR HALF AN HOUR
AND I STUCK A DUMP RIGHT IN MY PANTS
AND THEN THE ELEVATOR WENT DOWN TO THE LOBBY
AND THERE'S...ALL FILLED WITH PEOPLE FROM MODEL AIRPLANE CONVENTION
AND I HAD TO WALK UP SIX FLIGHTS OF STAIRS AND IT TOUCHED MY SOCKS.
YOU ARE A LAME BRAIN MAN.
I WAS THE GROOMSMAN.
HEY, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE RECORD?
"THE BIG CHILL" SOUND TRACK.
ARE YOU GAY? NO.
ARE YOU A VIRGIN? NO.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
I WORK FOR THE NYPD. YOU'RE A FUCKING COP?
Zycho: DID YOU FRISK HIM?
Paul: NO GODDAMN WAY HE'S A COP.
YOU GUYS CUSS TOO MUCH, BUT IT'S OK.
AND NO, I WORK FOR THE PARKING ENFORCEMENT DISTRICT.
IT'S A CIVILIAN BRANCH OF NYPD, I'M ON LEVEL 1TEA.
I MAKE $26,500 A YEAR
AND ALL I DO IS WRITE TICKETS AND RUIN PEOPLE'S DAYS.
IF I WERE TO DIE THE WORLD WOULD BE FINE AND NO ONE WOULD MISS ME
AND I DIDN'T EVEN TELL ANYONE
I WAS COMING TO THE "MURDER PARTY".
Lexi: LET'S DO COKE.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
AAAW!
OH, WILLIAM, IT'S FABULOUS. [DOG BARKING OUTSIDE]
WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND GO CHECK ON HELL HAMMER.
I WOULDN'T WANT ANY STRAY BITCHES TO ANSWER HIS CALL.
HERE I GO.
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.
SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS REALLY THINK?
[SNORTS]
DID YOU PISS IN YOUR PANTS?
EH-EH.
I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANYBODY. [CHOKES]
[MUMBLES]
OK. [COUGHS]
[DOG YELPING] I HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU STUPID, STUPID WORTHLESS DUMMY.
I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
I KILL THE FUZZY ONES.
THE WORD "BIN-ALL" COMES TO MIND.
IT'S PRETTY LITERAL INTERPRETATION. YEAH.
I FIND IT... JEJUNE.
OH, GOOD WORD.
NOW, AT LEAST WE KNOW WHAT A VISUAL REPRESENTATION
OF A DIAL TONE LOOKS LIKE.
IT'S A LESION. [LEXI LAUGHS]
IT'S A WHORE MONGER.
IT'S LIKE A SCREAMING BARNACLE.
Alexander: OH, IT MAKES ME WANNA WEEP.
[LEXI LAUGHS]
OH, HEY, BILL, HOW'S THE DOG?
THE DOG IS FINE.
SHOULD WE GET ON WITH THE MURDER?
AGREED.
HEY, ZYCHO, COME HERE FOR A SECOND. I GOTTA TALK TO YOU.
HEY, LOOK MAN, LET'S DO SOME CRANK.
WHAT CRANK?
JUST BARBITURATES, YOU NEVER SAY CRANK.
I KNOW, BUT I'M SAYING IT NOW.
LOOK, WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS I'M GONNA NEED SOME CRANK.
I HAVE A GRAM OF COKE.
THIS IS NOT ENOUGH.
I WANT YOU TO GO GET A BIG BAG OF CRANK
AND I'LL STALL THESE GUYS.
I STOP FOR FISH AND CHIPS?
NO, BUT I'LL TREAT AFTERWARDS.
EVERYONE.
THE WITCHING HOUR IS ALMOST UPON US.
BUT BEFORE WE COMMIT OUR RITUAL MURDER
I'M GOING TO RECITE
EDGAR ALLAN POE'S "THE RAVEN"
IN ITS ENTIRETY.
"ONCE UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY AS I PONDERED WEAK AND WEARY,
"OVER MANY A QUAINT AND CURIOUS VOLUME OF FORGOTTEN LORE,
"AS I NODDED NEARLY NAPPING
"SUDDENLY THERE CAME A TAPPING
"AS IF SOMEONE GENTLY RAPPING, RAPPING AT MY CHAMBER DOOR.
"'TIS SOME VISITOR I'M... [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Woman: HELLO! MMH!
Woman: HELLO! SSSHHH.
Woman: HELLO!
[SNORTS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.
AH, GO AHEAD AND SET UP OVER THERE BY OUR SUBJECT, ALRIGHT?
SURE.
Paul: WHAT?
I NEVER WORK WITHOUT AN ASSISTANT.
AH, KEY LIGHT, WE CAN PUT THAT RIGHT HERE.
GET UP! OH.
WE NEED TO COMPENSATE FOR THE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS.
PERSONALLY, NOT A REALLY BIG FAN OF THE WHOLE
"PLAYED OUT YOUR TRASH, DAVID FINCHER" GREEN LIGHTING THING.
Lexi: PAUL? HATE IT. GREAT.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
Alexander: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, PAUL?
I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING.
I THINK I DO I.
[SINGING] I THINK I'M SICK OF PEOPLE BITCHING AND MOANING IN A ROOM.
I'M GOING OUTSIDE TO SMOKE, THIS IS NO JOKE.
FUCK YOU.
I JUST WANT TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.
ALRIGHT, SOMETHING MORE THAN--THAN A STABBING.
DON'T SAY STABBING IN FRONT OF HIM.
STAB, STAB, STAB, STAB. IT'S A PRIVATE PARTY, PAUL.
SHE WASN'T INVITED.
[BURPING]
HM... HALLOWEEN.
HELL HAMMER. HA HA.
HEY, BUDDY, WISH I WAS A DOG.
YAH, BOOO.
BUDDY, I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING
I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYBODY.
EVERY TIME I TRY TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH... [SCREAMING]
I JUST... I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE THIS, IT'S VERY COMPLICATED.
YOU RUIN EVERYTHING WE'VE SET UP, PAUL. [DISTANT SCREAMING]
THE NIGHT ISN'T OVER, PAUL.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE PLANNED.
WELL, I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE I'VE RUINED ANYTHING.
ALRIGHT, I BROUGHT HER HERE TO HELP ME WITH THE PORTRAIT.
SHE'LL BE OUT OF HERE AS SOON AS THAT'S DONE.
LONG BEFORE MIDNIGHT.
I JUST WANNA TO GET ONE FREAKING PHOTO, CAN I DO THAT?
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE PAUL WANTS A GRANT TO ME.
WHAT GRANT?
YOU'VE BEEN TELLING US ABOUT THIS GRANT FOR THREE MONTHS.
MEAN, WE'VE SUBMITTED ART WORK TO YOU? WHAT ARE YOU?
YOU WANT ME TO FILL OUT AN APPLICATION? 'CAUSE I'LL DO IT.
I'M WAITING AND I'M SORRY I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE
BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR RENOWN ART WORK
THAT EVERYBODY SUPPOSEDLY IS TALKING ABOUT.
HAVE YOU?
HAVE YOU, BILL? I WONDER WHY THAT IS...
RUN, RUN NOW. IT'S COOL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
THIS SORT OF THING HAPPENS ON EVERY SET. [MUMBLES]
AND WHAT'S WITH THAT, YOUR LITTLE SKETCH BOOK,
WHAT'S IN THERE?
YOU'RE CROSSING A LINE, PAUL.
I WILL SHUT UP AS SOON AS YOU SHOW ME WHAT'S IN THAT BOOK.
WILL YOU BE A DEAR AND GO FETCH HELL HAMMER?
OOH, AAH! [BARKING]
MACON IS ON FIRE!
Alexander: I DRIVE AN ASTON MARTIN.
Paul: HOW COME YOU NEVER INVITED ANY OFF US
TO YOUR HOUSE IN THE HAMPTONS, HUH?
IT'S REALLY NOT YOUR SCENE.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR CELL PHONE,
WHY HAS IT GOT A NEW JERSEY AREA CODE?
I HAPPEN TO DO A LOT OF BUSINESS IN NEW JERSEY.
WHY DO WE ALWAYS PAY FOR YOUR DINNER?
WHAT ABOUT CONEY ISLAND, PAUL?
Paul: THOSE WERE HOTDOGS.
Macon, screaming: OH, OH! OH, OH!
...WE SHOT THE FREAK...
Paul: WE ALL SHOT THE FREAK,
BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO GOT... COME WITH ME, GO THAT WAY.
...WHEN YOU HANDED ME YOUR BEER.
Alexander: YOU TOOK THE CANNON BALL.
WELL I'M NOT TALKING IT ANY...
Paul: DO A SKETCH, JUST PRODUCE SOMETHING
THAT PROVES YOU AN IDEA. BUDDHA! ARTISTICALLY.
Macon: HELP ME. HELP ME.
SOMETHING AVANT-GARDE, SOMETHING CUTTING EDGE.
YOU PISSED IT ALL AWAY. YOU SQUANDERED EVERYTHING,
YOU MADE FOOLS OF US.
YOU MADE A FOOL OF ME, ALEXANDER.
I ANSWER TO NO ONE AND I COMMIT ART AT WILL.
YOU WALKED IN HERE WITH EURO TRASH, MIXED BARBITURATES.
YOU DISRESPECT MY ARTISTIC PROCESS, YOU SON OF A BITCH.
YOU'RE A FRAUD.
NO, NO YOU'RE WORSE THAN A FRAUD, YOU'RE AN IMPOSTER!
SHUT UP, HELL HAMMER,
OR I'LL SEND YOU TO THE GLUE FACTORY.
[BARKS]
WHAT YOU GOT OVER HERE?
URGH!
THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
PREPARE YOUR KNIFE.
HM, TWO DOWN, THREE TO GO.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
ALEXANDER, YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.
I'M A FRAUDCOCK.
SEE, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
I LET YOU FUCK ME.
JEJUNE.
"JEJUNE"? WHAT, DO YOU WRITE STUFF DOWN AND SAY TO US LATER?
YEAH.
THAT'S PATHETIC.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND SO THERE'S NO GRANT, NO GALLERY?
WHERE ARE MY PHOTOGRAPHS?
THEY'RE AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE IN NEW JERSEY.
UM, I'M GONNA GO NOW.
YEAH. NO, HANG ON A SECOND.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH OUR ART?
WELL, I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL AND THEN I'M GONNA SELL IT.
ART ISN'T WORTH ANYTHING UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD.
SO YOU DO LIKE OUR ART.
[ZIPS THE BAG]
NO, I'M--I'M REALLY GONNA LEAVE.
YEAH, WE ALL ARE. JUST WANNA TAKE A PICTURE FIRST.
ALEXANDER, I HATE YOU.
IS THAT EVEN YOUR REAL NAME? NO, IT'S TIM.
WHAT'S HIS REAL NAME?
OH, IT'S HELL HAMMER.
I'M GOING TO PUT HIM TO SLEEP ON MONDAY.
WHY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
HE'S NOT CUTE, I ONLY LIKE PUPPIES.
IT'S A TWO-EIGHT.
GOOD, ALRIGHT, ALL SET.
OH, HEY, DUDE, SHOOT PAUL IN THE FACE.
PAUL! QUIET, QUIET, QUIET.
Lexi: AAAH!
UNBELIEVABLE!
SHOOT HIM, SHOOT ALL OF THEM.
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
UNBELIEVABLE. WOULD YOU JUST LET ME FINISH?
JUST WAIT, WAIT!
LOOK AT YOUR STUPID SHOES.
STUPID SHOES.
[SCREAMING]
AAAAH!
WHERE'S MY CRANK?
[SCREAMING]
[CHAINSAW ENGINE STARTS]
AAAAHHHH!
Man on game: EVERYBODY DIES.
[GRUNTING AND SCREAMING]
[GROWLING]
Bill: EVERYBODY DIES!
[GASPING]
EVERYBODY DIES, TIMMY.
EVERYBODY DIES!
TAXI, TAXI, TAXI!
TIMMY, OH, TIMMY, OH, TIMMY, OH, TIMMY!
AAAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!
[CURSING]
AH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
DIE, DIE!
AH! PARTY'S OVER!
[SHRIEKS]
WHERE ARE YOU? YOU FUCK!
Bill: COME AND GET IT! GET YOUR--
OH, I SEE, I SEE YOU.
COME AND GET IT. COME AND GET IT.
YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.
[DISTANT SHOUTING]
[SHRIEKS]
[DOOR SQUEAKING]
[DISTANT SIREN]
[PANTING]
[BEEPING]
IT'S YOUR DEATH TIME.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
HELP!
HELP! HE'S A MURDERER!
HE'S THREATENING ME. WHAT AN ASSHOLE.
GIVE ME YOUR CELL PHONE!
I NEED A PHONE! CALL 911!
[PANTING]
[CLUB MUSIC PLAYS]
CAN I GET A PINK PANTY DROPPER.
AAAHH! AAAHHHH!
CALL 911, CALL 911, CALL 911.
WAIT, ARE YOU WITH THE SHOW?
[COUGHING]
[� AVE MARIA PLAYS]
SORRY, I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.
I'M TRYING TO HIDE. DOES ANYONE HAVE A CELL PHONE?
BILL?
WILLIAM?
CICERO.
WHAT'S UP?
I CAN DIG IT.
WELL? IT'S A COOL PARTY.
REALLY, THEY ARE LETTING PEOPLE IN?
JARED, LOCK IT UP BECAUSE THE SHOW HASN'T STARTED YET,
YOU DILDOS.
WELCOME, SO HOW'S IT GOING?
FINALLY AN ARTISTE,
ARE YOU HERE FOR THE BUS PEOPLE SHOW?
YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD GET YOU A SHOW.
YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN SHOW, BILL. LET ME GET YOU A DRINK.
MR. MARSON ALWAYS LOVED YOUR MURALS IN SYNERGY GROUP.
HE REALLY DID. THANKS.
HEY, IS ALEXANDER COMING TO THE PARTY?
I'VE BEEN TALKING TO HIM ABOUT GETTING A GRANT.
LET ME GET YOU A DRINK. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
FUCK THIS WHOLE SCENE. EVERYBODY DIES.
OH!
WILL HAVE TO FIGHT HIM OR HE'LL KILL US.
I'M A LOVER NOT A FIGHTER.
Bill: ARGH! EVERYBODY'S GONNA DIE.
I'M GOING TO KILL EVERYBODY. RIGHT HERE.
[SCREAMING]
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!
[SCREAMING]
STOP IT! STOP IT!
Bill: FUCK IT!
AAAAH!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
[DISTANT SCREAMING AND SHOUTING]
OH, GOD, THEY STARTED WITHOUT US.
JARED, WE ARE ON. OPEN THE FUCKING DOORS.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
WOW.
JESUS CHRIST.
HE KILLED LEXI!
OH, OH.
STOP KILLING EVERYBODY!
EVERYBODY DIES.
AAH! AAH! [CHAINSAW ENGINE STARTS]
LEXI!
OOH.
[CHAINSAW STARTS]
[SCREAMING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[COUGHING]
YOU JUST RUINED THE PARTY!
YES, STILL LIFE AS PERFORMANCE ART.
Woman: IT'S THEIR BEST WORK YET.
IT'S REAL.
[SHIP'S HORN BLOWING]
[SEAGULLS CALLING]
[BEEPING]
[BIRDS CALLING]
[DOG BARKING]
GOOD MORNING.
SIR LANCELOT, PLEASE GET DOWN.
THANK YOU.
[SIGHS]
[HOWL]
� THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT �
� AND SOMETHING EVIL IS GOING DOWN TONIGHT �
� I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES �
� AND WE'RE A LONG, LONG, LONG WAY FROM HOME �
� THE FOG ROLLS IN �
� AND THE CLOUDS BEGIN TO CLEAR �
� ALL IT TOOK WAS ONE NIGHT, ONE BITE �
� FOR ME TO TRANSFORM INTO YOUR WORST FEAR �
� AIN'T NO WATER HOLY ENOUGH �
� AIN'T NO BULLET SILVER ENOUGH �
� AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN SAY OR DO �
� EXCEPT PRAY FOR THE SUN AND SOON �
� IT'S GOING TO BE A FULL MOON, FULL MOON �
� SOMETHING DEVILISH IS GOING DOWN SOON �
� IT'S A FULL MOON, FULL MOON �
� AND IT'S CREEPING IN THE CORNERS OF MY BEDROOM �
� I FEEL THE HAIR BACK OF MY NECK STAND UP TALL �
� AND MY ANIMAL INSTINCT TURNS MY WALK INTO CRAWL �
� TO SAY A PRAYER MY LOVE �
� AND I HOPE YOU REMEMBER TO LOCK THE DOOR �
� IT'S A FULL MOON, FULL MOON TONIGHT �
� AND I JUST MIGHT COME LOOKING FOR LOVE ON ALL FOURS �
� AIN'T NO WATER HOLY ENOUGH �
� AIN'T NO BULLET SILVER ENOUGH �
� AIN'T NO MAGICIAN MAN OLD ENOUGH �
� AIN'T NO COLOR COLD ENOUGH �
� AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN SAY OR DO �
� 'CEPT PRAY FOR THE SUN AND SOON �
� IT'S GOING TO BE A FULL MOON, FULL MOON �
� SOMETHING DEVILISH IS GOING DOWN SOON �
� IT'S A FULL MOON, FULL MOON �
� AND IT'S CREEPING IN THE CORNERS OF MY BEDROOM �
� FULL MOON, FULL MOON �
� SOMETHING DEVILISH IS GOING DOWN SOON �
� IT'S A FULL MOON, FULL MOON �
� AND IT'S CREEPING IN THE CORNERS OF MY BEDROOM �
� HOW YOU LIKE IT WHAT YOU SEE? �
� OOOOH, UH �