1
00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:09,785
♪ Into life today came something beautiful ♪
2
00:00:09,855 --> 00:00:13,532
♪ Someone who loved me much as I love her ♪
3
00:00:14,528 --> 00:00:16,633
♪ There have been trials and tribulations ♪
4
00:00:17,216 --> 00:00:19,158
♪ And not just a few ♪
5
00:00:19,328 --> 00:00:21,237
♪ But we made it through ♪
6
00:00:21,631 --> 00:00:24,413
♪ And now the times are here ♪
7
00:00:26,016 --> 00:00:27,903
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
8
00:00:28,576 --> 00:00:30,102
♪ Have everything ♪
9
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,138
♪ But the sun ♪
10
00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:37,147
♪ And the rain ♪
11
00:00:37,216 --> 00:00:39,933
♪ We're a definite combination ♪
12
00:00:40,223 --> 00:00:42,133
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
13
00:00:42,336 --> 00:00:43,612
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
14
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,363
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
15
00:00:47,168 --> 00:00:48,891
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
16
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,815
♪ Wait and see ♪
17
00:00:56,191 --> 00:00:58,460
You must do something!
Baby is coming!
18
00:00:58,527 --> 00:00:59,672
Yeah. I know baby is coming!
19
00:00:59,743 --> 00:01:02,110
Miss, you've to stay calm
and take deep breaths, okay?
20
00:01:02,176 --> 00:01:04,063
Myra, I need a doctor here
right now.
21
00:01:04,127 --> 00:01:05,338
I am working on it.
22
00:01:05,408 --> 00:01:06,618
You're not a doctor?
23
00:01:06,688 --> 00:01:07,670
No, I am a nurse.
24
00:01:07,744 --> 00:01:09,337
You are man
and you are nurse?
25
00:01:09,408 --> 00:01:11,164
What kind of man is nurse?
26
00:01:11,232 --> 00:01:13,337
Look, folks,
I'm a professional, okay?
27
00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:15,350
I know exactly what I'm doing,
so just trust me,
28
00:01:15,424 --> 00:01:17,212
everything's going to be fine,
all right?
29
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,294
Okay.
Yeah.
30
00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:19,741
Yeah. You're fully dilated.
31
00:01:19,808 --> 00:01:21,815
Hey, I need that doctor
right now.
32
00:01:21,888 --> 00:01:23,197
There are no free doctors.
33
00:01:23,264 --> 00:01:25,403
Nurse, you're gonna have
to deliver that baby yourself.
34
00:01:25,472 --> 00:01:27,544
I can see the head!
35
00:01:28,096 --> 00:01:29,557
Holy shit!
36
00:01:36,415 --> 00:01:37,844
Check it out.
37
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:38,967
We did it.
38
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:41,493
We had a boy.
39
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,764
A boy. You are my hero.
40
00:01:45,952 --> 00:01:47,479
I name baby for you.
41
00:01:47,552 --> 00:01:49,340
Oh! You don't have to do that.
42
00:01:49,951 --> 00:01:51,707
Yeah. I must.
It is Latvian tradition.
43
00:01:51,775 --> 00:01:53,499
We'll name the baby...
44
00:02:04,288 --> 00:02:06,230
Hello,
you've reached the Fockers.
45
00:02:06,304 --> 00:02:09,119
We're not around,
so leave us a message. Goodbye.
46
00:02:09,184 --> 00:02:11,769
Roz, how the hell
do you shut this thing off?
47
00:02:11,839 --> 00:02:13,781
I have no idea.
Just press a button.
48
00:02:13,855 --> 00:02:15,611
I'm pretty sure it's off.
49
00:02:15,679 --> 00:02:17,054
Honey,
you want a chimichanga?
50
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,811
I thought they gave you gas.
51
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,538
A little bit,
but it's worth it.
52
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,779
Worth it for you,
but I'm the one that gets the fumes.
53
00:02:22,847 --> 00:02:24,538
Honey, I'm in the mood
for a chimichanga.
54
00:02:24,607 --> 00:02:25,622
So make a...
55
00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:27,799
Hi, guys, it's me.
56
00:02:27,872 --> 00:02:29,181
Dad, I told you
six months ago
57
00:02:29,248 --> 00:02:30,775
you have to change
that message.
58
00:02:30,848 --> 00:02:32,473
Anyway, I'm just calling
to double check
59
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:33,917
'cause I didn't hear
back from you.
60
00:02:33,984 --> 00:02:36,373
You know that Pam and I are
flying out to Oyster Bay today.
61
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,869
And, then, we're flying to Miami
tomorrow with the Byrneses.
62
00:02:38,944 --> 00:02:40,154
And our flight gets in 7:30,
63
00:02:40,223 --> 00:02:41,914
so we should be
at the house around 9:00.
64
00:02:41,984 --> 00:02:43,839
So just give me a call
back on my cell, okay?
65
00:02:43,904 --> 00:02:45,398
'Cause I want to go over
a few things
66
00:02:45,472 --> 00:02:47,577
about Pam's dad and just, uh,
67
00:02:47,647 --> 00:02:49,273
just some other stuff
for the weekend.
68
00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:51,067
All right. I love you, bye.
Hey!
69
00:02:51,135 --> 00:02:52,957
Hey, sweetie.
How was your shift?
70
00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:54,365
- Oh! Guess what?
- What?
71
00:02:54,879 --> 00:02:56,254
I delivered my first baby.
72
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,334
No way.
73
00:02:57,407 --> 00:02:58,356
Yeah.
74
00:02:58,431 --> 00:02:59,609
Oh, honey,
I'm so proud of you.
75
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,021
It was incredible.
I mean, just...
76
00:03:01,087 --> 00:03:02,713
Just to be pulling
this life force
77
00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:04,213
out of this woman's...
78
00:03:04,287 --> 00:03:06,654
You know, I mean,
it was just so... It was...
79
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,534
The whole baby thing is...
It's so cool.
80
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,323
That's great, honey.
That's great.
81
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,880
So, uh, are you ready to go?
I want to get to the airport early.
82
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:15,097
I know.
Just give me a second.
83
00:03:15,168 --> 00:03:16,761
You know how things
always goes wrong.
84
00:03:16,832 --> 00:03:18,076
The flight leaves
in four hours.
85
00:03:18,144 --> 00:03:19,485
I wish we could set
a wedding date
86
00:03:19,551 --> 00:03:21,374
without our parents
actually having to meet.
87
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,000
Honey, this weekend
is gonna be fine.
88
00:03:23,071 --> 00:03:24,664
And your parents are great.
89
00:03:24,735 --> 00:03:26,295
Oh, they're great
in small doses.
90
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:28,823
Well, 48 hours in Coconut Grove
is a small dose.
91
00:03:28,895 --> 00:03:30,837
Besides, you've already
won over my dad,
92
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,286
and that is the hard part.
93
00:03:32,352 --> 00:03:33,694
That is true.
94
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,574
I mean, I am still in the Byrnes
family circle of trust, right?
95
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,785
You're firmly in the circle.
96
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:40,374
Finally.
97
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:42,712
Oh, taxi!
98
00:03:42,783 --> 00:03:44,376
♪ All the time ♪
99
00:03:45,663 --> 00:03:48,380
♪ As we go walking by ♪
100
00:03:48,703 --> 00:03:49,881
Going to the airport?
101
00:03:49,951 --> 00:03:50,933
Yeah.
102
00:03:51,007 --> 00:03:51,956
Take mine.
103
00:03:53,695 --> 00:03:54,775
Great.
104
00:03:55,296 --> 00:03:57,401
♪ It's all right ♪
105
00:03:58,784 --> 00:04:00,246
- Nice guy.
- Yeah.
106
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,709
♪ Hold you tight ♪
107
00:04:05,215 --> 00:04:06,939
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
108
00:04:07,168 --> 00:04:09,656
♪ Take her hand in mine ♪
109
00:04:10,592 --> 00:04:12,697
♪ We'll be looking fine ♪
110
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,992
♪ In the sweet sunshine ♪
111
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,294
You two, you're up.
112
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,574
♪ Please don't leave ♪
113
00:04:25,152 --> 00:04:27,607
♪ All those
who love us to be there ♪
114
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,996
♪ One great big happy family ♪
115
00:04:31,903 --> 00:04:33,726
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
116
00:04:35,264 --> 00:04:36,987
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
117
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,088
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
118
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,567
♪ Wait and see ♪
119
00:04:43,007 --> 00:04:44,022
Oh, dear.
120
00:04:44,096 --> 00:04:45,078
What?
121
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:46,869
Well, they overbooked coach.
122
00:04:48,704 --> 00:04:49,849
So what does that mean?
123
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,065
Do we miss our flight or...
124
00:04:51,135 --> 00:04:54,877
Well, we are gonna have to
upgrade you to first class.
125
00:04:54,943 --> 00:04:56,023
Really?
126
00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:58,580
Thank you.
127
00:05:01,216 --> 00:05:03,517
Oh! Sir, why don't you
let me take that for you?
128
00:05:05,728 --> 00:05:06,938
Okay, yeah.
129
00:05:07,232 --> 00:05:10,396
So, uh, you wanna check it
or put it on another flight
130
00:05:10,464 --> 00:05:12,286
'cause that's cool,
whatever you want to do.
131
00:05:12,352 --> 00:05:14,970
I'm just gonna store it
in the Captain's closet.
132
00:05:16,511 --> 00:05:17,591
That was nice.
133
00:05:17,663 --> 00:05:18,710
Yeah.
134
00:05:19,327 --> 00:05:20,342
Champagne?
135
00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:21,364
Thank you.
136
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,520
Champagne, sir?
137
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,768
Thank you.
138
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,239
Enjoy.
139
00:05:26,303 --> 00:05:28,245
♪ We'll be looking fine ♪
140
00:05:29,695 --> 00:05:31,800
♪ In the sweet sunshine ♪
141
00:05:33,472 --> 00:05:36,767
Would you like to purchase
rental insurance, Mr. Focker?
142
00:05:37,056 --> 00:05:38,004
Um...
143
00:05:38,431 --> 00:05:40,504
No. Thanks.
144
00:05:41,311 --> 00:05:42,260
No?
145
00:05:42,335 --> 00:05:43,415
It's a scam.
146
00:05:43,487 --> 00:05:45,375
That's how they
make all their money.
147
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,349
That's true.
You don't need it.
148
00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:49,718
Get out of here.
149
00:05:50,655 --> 00:05:52,346
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
150
00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:55,832
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
151
00:05:55,904 --> 00:05:57,431
♪ Wait and see ♪
152
00:06:03,391 --> 00:06:05,082
The House of Byrnes.
153
00:06:06,527 --> 00:06:08,218
Lot of good memories here.
154
00:06:09,984 --> 00:06:11,358
Mom? Dad?
155
00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:14,905
I am watching you.
156
00:06:17,087 --> 00:06:18,331
Well, almost,
157
00:06:19,519 --> 00:06:21,243
but you have to do it
with two fingers.
158
00:06:21,312 --> 00:06:23,221
One on each eye like this:
159
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,278
I am watching you.
160
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,062
We'll get back to that later.
161
00:06:28,128 --> 00:06:29,469
Guess who's here?
162
00:06:29,888 --> 00:06:32,637
It's Prof. Einstein.
163
00:06:32,703 --> 00:06:34,012
Hi, Little Jack.
164
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,127
You're a genius.
165
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,858
I see a Nobel Prize
in your future.
166
00:06:36,928 --> 00:06:38,172
Yes, I do.
167
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,793
Study break, boys.
Company's here.
168
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,582
Pamcake!
169
00:06:42,655 --> 00:06:43,932
Flapjack!
170
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,902
Shortstack,
shortstack coming up!
171
00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:50,106
Put some syrup
in the cup.
172
00:06:51,647 --> 00:06:53,752
Pa, pa, pa, pa,
pa, pa, pa.
173
00:06:55,743 --> 00:06:57,205
That's how it goes, right?
174
00:06:57,855 --> 00:06:59,262
That's okay, Greg.
175
00:07:00,095 --> 00:07:01,656
- Nice to see you.
- Yes.
176
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,959
Nice to see you, Grandpa.
177
00:07:05,568 --> 00:07:07,356
My God.
How did my nephew get so big?
178
00:07:07,423 --> 00:07:08,733
Look at you.
179
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:09,977
You look just
like your mommy.
180
00:07:10,655 --> 00:07:11,801
He does, doesn't he?
181
00:07:11,871 --> 00:07:13,911
Hey. Hey. This is Greg.
182
00:07:13,983 --> 00:07:15,292
Remember
we talked about him?
183
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,340
Hey.
184
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,417
Sorry, Greg.
185
00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:25,146
The card only
comes in one gender.
186
00:07:25,216 --> 00:07:27,387
Oh! Yeah.
Now, that's... that's all right.
187
00:07:28,704 --> 00:07:30,198
He's taking you in.
188
00:07:30,336 --> 00:07:32,475
He has a very keen sense
for people, Greg.
189
00:07:34,143 --> 00:07:36,118
He's a chip
off the old block, huh?
190
00:07:36,192 --> 00:07:38,559
We might have another CIA man
on our hands here.
191
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,763
I'd be discreet about my
profession, Greg, if I were you.
192
00:07:40,832 --> 00:07:41,814
You know what I mean?
193
00:07:41,888 --> 00:07:44,506
As far as your parents are concerned,
I'm still a horticulturist.
194
00:07:44,576 --> 00:07:45,917
Hey, why is Little Jack here?
195
00:07:45,984 --> 00:07:48,187
Are Deb and Bob house-sitting,
while we're in Florida?
196
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:49,662
No, they're in Ko Samui,
Thailand.
197
00:07:49,728 --> 00:07:51,997
Checking on the clinic they
opened during their honeymoon.
198
00:07:52,064 --> 00:07:54,235
What is all this stuff,
anyway?
199
00:07:54,303 --> 00:07:56,791
After Denny was
sent away to military school,
200
00:07:56,864 --> 00:07:58,936
your father turned this
into a learning laboratory
201
00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:00,436
for you-know-who over there.
202
00:08:00,511 --> 00:08:02,999
And do you talk yet,
Mr. Munchkinhead?
203
00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:12,183
Greg, Greg, Greg. Don't infantilize him.
Talk to him like an adult.
204
00:08:12,256 --> 00:08:13,303
Muskrat.
205
00:08:13,376 --> 00:08:14,303
Huh?
206
00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:15,928
- Muskrat, Jack.
- All right.
207
00:08:17,183 --> 00:08:19,125
Just try to understand
he's a little person.
208
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,055
His communication skills
aren't verbal yet,
209
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,160
but he understands.
Observe.
210
00:08:24,096 --> 00:08:26,005
L.J., are you hungry?
211
00:08:27,872 --> 00:08:29,017
Oh, wow.
212
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,622
Look at that.
213
00:08:34,144 --> 00:08:37,941
I would like to
eat more please.
214
00:08:39,263 --> 00:08:40,921
I'd like a nap,
215
00:08:41,056 --> 00:08:43,511
and then later
I'll enjoy a nice poop.
216
00:08:48,192 --> 00:08:50,581
Oh, yeah. I've heard about
this, this baby signing stuff.
217
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:52,990
This is like cutting edge.
Like... Yeah.
218
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,865
Well, at this age, Greg,
his mind is like a sponge.
219
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,942
Look, when he reaches
your age, for example,
220
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,608
his mind will be
far less capable
221
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,272
of absorbing
useful information.
222
00:09:01,343 --> 00:09:03,383
So cute.
Hey, can I hold him?
223
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,068
Oh, I... I don't think
that's such a good idea, Greg.
224
00:09:06,143 --> 00:09:07,321
Muskrat.
225
00:09:07,584 --> 00:09:08,532
Uh...
226
00:09:09,472 --> 00:09:11,261
All right, all right.
227
00:09:11,871 --> 00:09:12,951
This is Greg.
228
00:09:13,023 --> 00:09:15,227
Greg will not drop you,
okay?
229
00:09:16,384 --> 00:09:18,456
Okay.
Be careful.
230
00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:20,415
Hello. Oh! Hello.
231
00:09:21,247 --> 00:09:22,196
Hey.
232
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,534
I think he likes me.
233
00:09:25,343 --> 00:09:26,325
No?
234
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,348
Ow!
235
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:28,598
Oh, shit!
236
00:09:29,824 --> 00:09:31,864
Focker. He's absorbing
you like a sponge.
237
00:09:31,936 --> 00:09:33,790
I don't want the first word
out of his mouth
238
00:09:33,856 --> 00:09:34,935
to be a profanity.
239
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:36,469
It's okay. It's okay.
240
00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:38,682
Cover your nose.
You're terrifying him.
241
00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:39,734
Focker!
242
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,418
It's cool that your dad is so
into being a grandparent.
243
00:09:43,487 --> 00:09:45,397
Yeah, I guess so.
It kinda freaks my mom out.
244
00:09:45,471 --> 00:09:47,414
She says he spends every
last second with that kid.
245
00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:51,231
Oh, my God.
246
00:09:52,991 --> 00:09:53,940
Daddy?
247
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,028
Wow.
248
00:09:55,359 --> 00:09:57,214
Daddy, what is this thing?
249
00:09:57,279 --> 00:09:58,457
It's a custom-designed,
250
00:09:58,528 --> 00:09:59,902
climate-controlled
motor coach.
251
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,389
Jack calls it the
Highlight of our Twilight.
252
00:10:04,992 --> 00:10:06,006
Wow. This is incredible.
253
00:10:06,079 --> 00:10:07,094
Isn't it?
254
00:10:07,168 --> 00:10:08,095
Yeah.
255
00:10:09,888 --> 00:10:10,968
Ooh! Like a tank.
256
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,211
Well, in these
uncertain times, Greg,
257
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,516
I opted for
a Kevlar-reinforced hull
258
00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:17,918
with two-inch thick
plexiglas windows,
259
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,446
just like
the ones they design on
260
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,592
the Russian Widowmaker
submarines.
261
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,998
I want you to conduct
a field test for us, Greg.
262
00:10:24,063 --> 00:10:26,398
I want you to demonstrate
263
00:10:26,464 --> 00:10:28,252
the impregnable outer skin
of the coach.
264
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,596
Throw it at the window.
265
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,645
Oh.
266
00:10:30,783 --> 00:10:31,798
Jack, I'm not gonna...
267
00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:33,660
I'm not gonna throw a brick
at your window.
268
00:10:33,728 --> 00:10:34,873
It's a simple demonstration.
269
00:10:34,944 --> 00:10:36,853
No, I'd... I'd really rather not.
Throw the brick.
270
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:37,910
Okay.
Great.
271
00:10:37,984 --> 00:10:38,966
Just...
272
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,022
All your might.
273
00:10:40,096 --> 00:10:41,175
All right.
274
00:10:47,615 --> 00:10:49,754
Don't worry, your rental
insurance should take care of it.
275
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:51,481
You all right? What happened?
276
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,533
Come on,
277
00:10:52,607 --> 00:10:54,549
we'll call a tow truck
from the road.
278
00:10:54,623 --> 00:10:55,833
Road?
279
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,044
Yeah.
We're driving this to Miami.
280
00:10:58,111 --> 00:11:00,500
I thought we were... I thought
we were, we're flying tomorrow.
281
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,965
No, No. Airline travel
being what it is these days,
282
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,349
so unreliable,
283
00:11:04,416 --> 00:11:05,845
I'll feel
much more comfortable
284
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,025
knowing I have my own
posturepedic bed,
285
00:11:08,096 --> 00:11:10,583
my own thermostat,
my own lavatory facility.
286
00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:13,623
Uh-huh. So... so we're all
going to be in this together?
287
00:11:13,696 --> 00:11:15,550
We hit the road
in exactly seven minutes,
288
00:11:15,616 --> 00:11:17,306
27 seconds.
289
00:11:17,407 --> 00:11:18,814
This way we'll get in early,
290
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,570
spend an extra half day
with your parents,
291
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,818
getting to know them.
292
00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:23,132
Isn't that great?
293
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,345
That is great.
294
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,652
Worth it for you but I'm the
one that gets the fumes.
295
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,661
Honey, I'm in the mood
for a chimichanga.
296
00:11:28,735 --> 00:11:29,783
So make a...
297
00:11:30,944 --> 00:11:32,351
Hey, guys, uh, it's me.
298
00:11:32,415 --> 00:11:35,132
Listen, I'm getting a little worried.
I haven't heard back from you.
299
00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:37,785
Hope you got the message.
There's been a little change of plans.
300
00:11:37,856 --> 00:11:40,441
We're gonna be, uh,
coming down in Jack's RV now,
301
00:11:40,511 --> 00:11:42,334
so we'll be arriving
tomorrow afternoon,
302
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,894
not tomorrow night.
303
00:11:43,968 --> 00:11:45,462
Okay? Tomorrow afternoon.
304
00:11:45,536 --> 00:11:46,616
And, also, uh,
305
00:11:46,688 --> 00:11:48,281
they're bringing
their little grandson,
306
00:11:48,351 --> 00:11:50,042
so, uh, he's like a baby.
307
00:11:50,111 --> 00:11:51,606
So... I don't know.
308
00:11:53,247 --> 00:11:55,386
Oh, welcome aboard,
me hearties.
309
00:11:55,455 --> 00:11:56,949
Hey, this is incredible.
310
00:11:57,023 --> 00:11:58,649
Yes, it's as big
as our apartment.
311
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,061
Pretty neat, huh?
312
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,374
Hey!
313
00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:06,967
Mr. Jinx finally learned
how to flush the toilet, huh?
314
00:12:07,039 --> 00:12:08,730
Yeah. Jack installed
a special flusher,
315
00:12:08,799 --> 00:12:10,806
and he learnt how to do that
in about two days.
316
00:12:10,879 --> 00:12:11,894
Right, Jack?
317
00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:13,790
Hey there, Jinxy.
How you doing?
318
00:12:18,016 --> 00:12:20,317
Ready to hit the road,
Co-Captain?
319
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,966
Wow! I'm the Co-Captain?
320
00:12:23,072 --> 00:12:24,413
Let's set sail, sailor.
321
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,829
♪ I'm going up the country
babe don't you wanna go ♪
322
00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:30,652
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
323
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,182
This is
Captain Jack Byrnes speaking.
324
00:12:32,255 --> 00:12:33,401
Yeah, Daddy!
325
00:12:33,471 --> 00:12:35,032
A quick announcement.
326
00:12:35,104 --> 00:12:37,111
As a courtesy
to your fellow passengers,
327
00:12:37,184 --> 00:12:39,159
please remember
that the onboard lavatory
328
00:12:39,231 --> 00:12:40,792
should be used
for number one only.
329
00:12:40,864 --> 00:12:42,686
Should the need
for number two arise,
330
00:12:42,751 --> 00:12:44,693
we'll stop at the nearest
rest stop, gas station,
331
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:45,945
or heavily wooded area.
332
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,707
Thank you. Welcome aboard.
333
00:12:47,807 --> 00:12:49,946
I like that thing.
Hey, do you mind if I, uh,
334
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:51,739
make a little announcement?
335
00:12:51,807 --> 00:12:52,887
Well...
336
00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:55,610
Only the captain gets
to make an announcement.
337
00:12:57,088 --> 00:12:58,517
You want to honk the horn?
338
00:12:58,592 --> 00:13:00,348
Um... Sure.
339
00:13:01,216 --> 00:13:03,550
Only the captain gets
to honk the horn.
340
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:05,404
♪ I'm gonna leave this city ♪
341
00:13:05,472 --> 00:13:08,057
♪ Got to get away ♪
342
00:13:08,927 --> 00:13:10,553
♪ All this fussing
And fighting ♪
343
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,736
Oh, look!
344
00:13:11,903 --> 00:13:13,758
Hey, Jinxy, see that?
345
00:13:14,431 --> 00:13:16,089
♪ Now, baby,
pack your leaving trunk ♪
346
00:13:16,159 --> 00:13:18,331
♪ You know
we've got to leave today ♪
347
00:13:19,104 --> 00:13:21,078
You hungry?
Do you want some milk?
348
00:13:21,151 --> 00:13:24,468
♪ But we might
even leave the USA ♪
349
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,381
Hey! Jack?
350
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,429
Oh, she wants you
to honk the horn.
351
00:13:30,495 --> 00:13:31,575
Not interested.
352
00:13:31,648 --> 00:13:33,535
Rules of the road.
She honks, you honk.
353
00:13:34,528 --> 00:13:36,535
Come on, Jack. Come on.
Give her a honk.
354
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,938
There you go.
355
00:13:41,631 --> 00:13:43,574
It's like a team or something.
356
00:13:43,647 --> 00:13:44,891
Honk if your are horny.
357
00:13:51,136 --> 00:13:52,084
Oh!
358
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,173
Thanks for that, Greg.
359
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,996
♪ 'Cause you've got a home ♪
360
00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:58,583
♪ As long as I've got mine ♪
361
00:14:01,696 --> 00:14:03,070
...for you but I'm the one
that gets the fumes.
362
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,274
Honey, I'm in the mood
for a chimichanga.
363
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,424
So make a...
364
00:14:11,968 --> 00:14:13,113
Hey, there.
365
00:14:13,984 --> 00:14:15,445
No hard feelings, all right?
366
00:14:16,672 --> 00:14:19,160
Friends? What's that?
367
00:14:19,296 --> 00:14:20,540
What're you saying?
368
00:14:20,608 --> 00:14:22,550
Now, wait a minute.
What does this mean?
369
00:14:22,624 --> 00:14:24,151
I know what this means.
370
00:14:24,223 --> 00:14:26,427
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
Oh, poop!
371
00:14:26,495 --> 00:14:28,251
You got to poop, right?
Okay, good.
372
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,334
Thank you for warning me.
373
00:14:29,407 --> 00:14:31,065
Everybody poops.
Sometimes it hurts.
374
00:14:31,135 --> 00:14:33,023
It's okay.
Just let it come out.
375
00:14:34,463 --> 00:14:35,805
What did you do, Focker?
376
00:14:35,872 --> 00:14:37,759
Nothing. He...
I think he has to poop.
377
00:14:37,824 --> 00:14:39,417
That's not the sign for poop.
378
00:14:39,488 --> 00:14:40,797
That's the sign for milk.
379
00:14:40,864 --> 00:14:42,293
This is the sign for poop.
380
00:14:42,368 --> 00:14:44,026
Oh! What's the sign
for sour milk?
381
00:14:44,096 --> 00:14:45,623
'Cause, uh
this tastes a little funky.
382
00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:47,997
That's because it's
from Debbie's left breast, Greg.
383
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:52,788
Ew.
384
00:14:53,088 --> 00:14:54,517
Fortunately,
she pumped for a week
385
00:14:54,591 --> 00:14:56,282
to give us
enough for the trip.
386
00:14:56,351 --> 00:14:58,588
Okay,
snack pack for Little Jack.
387
00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:00,255
What are you doing there?
388
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,295
Well, during
the breastfeeding stage, Greg,
389
00:15:02,367 --> 00:15:04,156
infants can get
very confused and upset
390
00:15:04,223 --> 00:15:06,012
when they're separated
from their mothers.
391
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,574
So I invented something
392
00:15:07,648 --> 00:15:10,168
to ease L.J.'s anxiety
during chow time.
393
00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,395
I call it the Mannary Gland.
394
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,468
I had it made
from an exact cast
395
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:18,811
of Debbie's left bosom.
396
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:22,812
Oh, yeah. Okay.
397
00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:24,221
It's been so effective,
398
00:15:24,287 --> 00:15:26,491
I'm thinking of
getting it patented.
399
00:15:26,719 --> 00:15:28,148
Would you like to touch it?
400
00:15:28,223 --> 00:15:29,401
Uh, I wouldn't.
401
00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:30,814
Oh, come on,
feel how soft it is.
402
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,702
I can... I can see
how soft it is from here.
403
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:33,749
No, feel it, Greg.
404
00:15:33,824 --> 00:15:35,166
It's very...
It looks very...
405
00:15:35,232 --> 00:15:36,923
Just feel the breast, Greg.
406
00:15:39,487 --> 00:15:40,469
Just a...
407
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:42,453
Oh, watch the nipple.
Just around here.
408
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:43,869
Nipple is his.
409
00:15:46,719 --> 00:15:47,930
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
410
00:15:48,287 --> 00:15:51,102
It's got a great, lifelike,
and a...
411
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,661
Or what I would imagine
412
00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:54,775
Debbie's breast might... might
actually feel like.
413
00:15:54,847 --> 00:15:56,603
Not that I would know.
414
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,138
Greg.
415
00:16:04,511 --> 00:16:05,559
What?
416
00:16:06,656 --> 00:16:07,736
Honey, you promised
417
00:16:07,808 --> 00:16:10,263
you wouldn't take the boob out
in front of company.
418
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,797
It's nothing
to be ashamed of.
419
00:16:11,872 --> 00:16:13,399
Breast-feeding is
perfectly natural.
420
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:16,341
Dad, that's not natural,
that's just weird.
421
00:16:17,503 --> 00:16:19,064
As soon as
Little Jack's topped off,
422
00:16:19,136 --> 00:16:20,696
we're gonna hit the road.
423
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:21,748
Oh!
424
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,066
Oh, Jack,
425
00:16:23,136 --> 00:16:24,794
you can't drive
any more tonight.
426
00:16:24,863 --> 00:16:28,092
Dr. Monroe said
no aggravating your sciatica.
427
00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:30,047
Honey, we're on a very
precise schedule.
428
00:16:30,112 --> 00:16:31,192
We bunk here tonight,
429
00:16:31,264 --> 00:16:33,402
we hit horrendous traffic
in the morning.
430
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,148
Greg?
431
00:16:36,224 --> 00:16:37,172
Yeah.
432
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,135
Maybe you could drive
the night shift.
433
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,345
I could do that.
434
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,067
I am the Co-Captain.
So, I think that falls
435
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,689
- under my responsibilities, right?
- Yeah.
436
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,614
Keep her at 55, stay alert.
437
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,811
Yeah, yeah. I've been wanting to get
behind the wheel of this big boy.
438
00:16:56,064 --> 00:16:57,689
You got it. Pass.
439
00:17:00,703 --> 00:17:02,492
Sorry, got to go 55.
440
00:17:02,559 --> 00:17:04,283
Captain Jack's orders.
441
00:17:20,863 --> 00:17:21,846
Hey!
442
00:17:21,919 --> 00:17:23,578
Would you like
some company, Greg?
443
00:17:23,648 --> 00:17:24,924
Uh, yeah, sure.
444
00:17:24,991 --> 00:17:27,064
If you can't sleep.
Go on. Have a seat.
445
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,166
How about a cappuccino?
446
00:17:38,527 --> 00:17:40,283
Oh, you don't have to do that.
447
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,693
It's no problem for me.
448
00:17:41,952 --> 00:17:43,545
Really? Yeah? Okay.
449
00:17:43,616 --> 00:17:44,696
Dina!
450
00:17:44,768 --> 00:17:47,255
Wake up and make
Greg a cappuccino!
451
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,796
Shake a leg, woman!
452
00:17:49,216 --> 00:17:51,387
Jesus, Jack,
you know, I'm not that tired.
453
00:17:51,456 --> 00:17:52,404
Really.
454
00:17:52,895 --> 00:17:56,059
Relax, Greg. This cockpit's
completely soundproofed.
455
00:17:56,127 --> 00:17:58,429
You should've seen the look
on your face.
456
00:17:58,495 --> 00:17:59,837
Oh! Okay, okay.
457
00:17:59,903 --> 00:18:01,976
You got me. That was...
That was a good one.
458
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,454
Yes, it was. Yes.
459
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:05,748
It's funny.
460
00:18:06,112 --> 00:18:08,087
But you should never talk
to a woman like that,
461
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,174
you know that, Greg.
462
00:18:09,247 --> 00:18:10,589
It's disrespectful.
463
00:18:10,975 --> 00:18:13,080
Right, of course. Yeah.
464
00:18:13,151 --> 00:18:15,323
Greg, a man reaches
a certain age
465
00:18:15,392 --> 00:18:17,279
when he realizes
what's truly important.
466
00:18:18,688 --> 00:18:20,248
You know what that is?
467
00:18:20,671 --> 00:18:21,784
Love?
468
00:18:23,295 --> 00:18:24,604
Friendship?
469
00:18:25,248 --> 00:18:27,070
Enjoying the moment.
470
00:18:27,199 --> 00:18:29,022
Living. Just love.
471
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,745
His legacy.
472
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,726
That, too. Right. Yeah. Sure.
473
00:18:32,799 --> 00:18:35,799
Now, my grandson, Little Jack,
is part of that legacy.
474
00:18:35,872 --> 00:18:38,239
In six months, you and Pam
are gonna be married.
475
00:18:38,303 --> 00:18:39,252
Sometime after that,
476
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,215
you'll want to start
a family of your own.
477
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,840
Yeah. Right.
Actually, on the subject,
478
00:18:42,911 --> 00:18:44,700
I had some thoughts
about the wedding date.
479
00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:47,156
We'll discuss that later,
after this weekend, Greg.
480
00:18:47,232 --> 00:18:48,442
Now, let's get back on point.
481
00:18:48,511 --> 00:18:50,169
Let me put it very simply.
482
00:18:50,239 --> 00:18:51,581
If your family circle
483
00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,786
does indeed join
my family circle,
484
00:18:53,856 --> 00:18:55,449
they'll form a chain.
485
00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:58,037
I can't have a chink
in my chain.
486
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,469
Yeah. Okay.
I get the metaphor.
487
00:19:01,536 --> 00:19:03,129
Now,
I've never met your parents,
488
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,753
so I'm not going to jump
to any hasty conclusions.
489
00:19:05,824 --> 00:19:07,831
But, like studying
a frozen caveman,
490
00:19:07,904 --> 00:19:09,530
if I can see
where you came from,
491
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,988
I'll have a much better idea
of where you're going.
492
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,143
Okay.
493
00:19:13,215 --> 00:19:16,444
Are you thinking
maybe my parents might be
494
00:19:16,511 --> 00:19:18,453
like... like a chink
in the chain or...
495
00:19:18,656 --> 00:19:21,373
A doctor and a lawyer,
what's there to worry about?
496
00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:48,573
Ooh, it seems very nice.
497
00:19:54,399 --> 00:19:55,676
Is that your father?
498
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,957
That is my father.
499
00:20:10,304 --> 00:20:11,711
Hey! There you are.
500
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,117
What the heck is
that contraption?
501
00:20:13,184 --> 00:20:14,940
I thought you guys
were flying in tonight.
502
00:20:15,007 --> 00:20:16,829
I left a message yesterday
We were driving...
503
00:20:16,895 --> 00:20:18,237
Oh, I didn't get a message.
504
00:20:18,303 --> 00:20:19,765
I left you like five messages.
505
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,662
Will you get over here
and plant one on me.
506
00:20:21,727 --> 00:20:22,742
Talking about messages.
507
00:20:22,816 --> 00:20:26,165
I've been waiting so long
to see you. My best buddy.
508
00:20:26,239 --> 00:20:27,417
Good to see you.
509
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,626
Come here. Come here.
Oh, I missed you.
510
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:32,117
Is this not
the most handsome young man
511
00:20:32,191 --> 00:20:33,565
you've ever seen
in your life?
512
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:36,414
I used to call him
a young Jewish Marlon Brando.
513
00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:37,524
Huh?
514
00:20:38,911 --> 00:20:40,121
Can you believe
515
00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:42,166
I conceived him
with one testicle?
516
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,866
No, really. It's true.
517
00:20:43,936 --> 00:20:46,139
I only have one because
the other never dropped.
518
00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:47,964
It's called
an undescending testicle.
519
00:20:48,032 --> 00:20:50,366
It's not uncommon,
but look at him.
520
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,560
Imagine what he would have
looked like if I had two.
521
00:20:56,768 --> 00:20:58,622
That's a good icebreaker.
522
00:20:58,719 --> 00:20:59,864
- Whoa!
- Ho!
523
00:20:59,935 --> 00:21:01,593
There's the sexiest
second grade teacher
524
00:21:01,663 --> 00:21:03,190
I've ever seen in my life.
525
00:21:04,479 --> 00:21:05,592
That was a good one.
526
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:06,711
It gets her every time.
527
00:21:06,784 --> 00:21:08,572
Goose bumps. She loves it.
528
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,127
I'm Dina Byrnes.
It's so nice to meet you.
529
00:21:11,199 --> 00:21:13,850
The pleasure is all mine,
mon chéri.
530
00:21:16,255 --> 00:21:17,979
You got to be the flower man.
531
00:21:18,048 --> 00:21:20,022
That's right.
Jack Byrnes, Pam's father.
532
00:21:20,095 --> 00:21:21,950
And I'm Bernard Focker,
Gaylord's father,
533
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:25,212
and we're all grownups here
and we shake hands like men.
534
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:26,868
All right.
535
00:21:28,416 --> 00:21:30,139
Oh, we're just playing here.
536
00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:31,636
Give me some love.
537
00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:35,189
We're family now.
538
00:21:35,744 --> 00:21:38,111
What're you so shy about?
Come here.
539
00:21:40,192 --> 00:21:42,461
Oh, wow. Look at those pecs.
540
00:21:42,527 --> 00:21:43,902
Wow! You're harder
than sheetrock.
541
00:21:43,968 --> 00:21:45,145
Now tell me the truth.
542
00:21:45,215 --> 00:21:46,557
You work out
with weights, right?
543
00:21:46,623 --> 00:21:47,998
Well, I do
various calisthenics.
544
00:21:48,064 --> 00:21:51,064
Some medicine-ball training,
I play bimonthly football.
545
00:21:51,136 --> 00:21:52,662
Oh, footie-footie football?
546
00:21:52,735 --> 00:21:54,972
I was just, uh,
practicing my Capoeira. What?
547
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:56,600
Oh, Capoeira. Yeah.
548
00:21:56,704 --> 00:21:58,711
The Brazilian martial art
of dance fighting. Yes.
549
00:21:58,784 --> 00:22:00,639
He knows what that is. Yeah.
550
00:22:00,704 --> 00:22:03,192
You know,
I've been doing it for weeks.
551
00:22:03,264 --> 00:22:04,376
I'm really into it.
552
00:22:04,447 --> 00:22:06,007
It keeps me level.
553
00:22:06,079 --> 00:22:08,021
Because sometimes
I get wound up so tight,
554
00:22:08,095 --> 00:22:09,786
I could just snap.
555
00:22:09,855 --> 00:22:11,099
You know what I mean?
556
00:22:12,191 --> 00:22:13,533
What is that?
What is that?
557
00:22:13,599 --> 00:22:14,777
Is there a baby on board?
558
00:22:14,848 --> 00:22:16,441
That's a baby. Yes, yes.
559
00:22:16,575 --> 00:22:18,648
Yeah.
It was all in the message.
560
00:22:20,096 --> 00:22:21,405
Hey, Moses, go ahead,
561
00:22:21,472 --> 00:22:23,195
say hello to
your future in-laws.
562
00:22:23,263 --> 00:22:24,824
No, no, he's harmless.
563
00:22:24,896 --> 00:22:26,237
And yeah, fixed.
Moses.
564
00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:27,449
That's all right.
565
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:28,730
Just shake him off.
566
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,523
Oh, no. Don't shake.
He likes the shaking.
567
00:22:30,591 --> 00:22:31,639
Moses, get off!
568
00:22:31,712 --> 00:22:33,719
No, don't worry.
The pink part didn't get on you.
569
00:22:33,792 --> 00:22:35,548
Moses, go, get in your basket.
Go!
570
00:22:35,616 --> 00:22:36,892
He's all talk.
571
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,486
Who's this little guy?
572
00:22:38,559 --> 00:22:40,152
This is our grandson,
Little Jack.
573
00:22:40,223 --> 00:22:41,783
Oh, little baby.
574
00:22:43,648 --> 00:22:45,306
How are you,
Little Jack?
575
00:22:45,439 --> 00:22:47,774
Hey, Dad, don't... don't...
don't infantilize him.
576
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,018
Just talk to him
like a person.
577
00:22:49,088 --> 00:22:50,713
What are you talking about?
He's a baby.
578
00:22:50,783 --> 00:22:52,376
I want to talk to him
like he's a baby.
579
00:22:52,447 --> 00:22:54,073
Bazooka! Bazooka!
580
00:22:56,736 --> 00:22:58,263
He likes me.
581
00:22:59,008 --> 00:23:00,830
When Roz's dad died, I said:
582
00:23:00,895 --> 00:23:03,416
Hey, we're freezing our
tushies off here in Detroit.
583
00:23:03,488 --> 00:23:04,949
You know, let's head south
584
00:23:05,024 --> 00:23:06,966
and get some year-round fun
in the sun.
585
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,244
This house is
over a 100 years old, so...
586
00:23:09,312 --> 00:23:10,654
Dad. Dad,
you continue the tour.
587
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,246
I'm gonna tell Mom
we're here, okay?
588
00:23:12,319 --> 00:23:14,043
Oh! The upstairs bathroom
is on el fritzo.
589
00:23:14,112 --> 00:23:16,152
So we're all gonna have to
share this one for now.
590
00:23:16,224 --> 00:23:18,078
Since there's a water scarcity
on the island,
591
00:23:18,144 --> 00:23:20,631
we kind of abide by the
if it's yellow let it mellow,
592
00:23:20,703 --> 00:23:22,842
if it's brown
flush it down policy.
593
00:23:25,087 --> 00:23:26,997
Oops. Forgot my own rule.
594
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,414
The RV has paid
for itself already.
595
00:23:33,248 --> 00:23:34,677
All right, kids.
596
00:23:34,751 --> 00:23:36,693
Forward and backward.
597
00:23:37,344 --> 00:23:40,410
Rotate those hips.
598
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,967
Let's get your
kundalini rising.
599
00:23:43,039 --> 00:23:44,795
And now it's time
for the ladies
600
00:23:44,863 --> 00:23:46,773
to get into the reverse
cowgirl position.
601
00:23:46,848 --> 00:23:48,822
Guys, you have to
lie across the Liberator pad
602
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:49,844
like so.
603
00:23:49,951 --> 00:23:51,740
Everyone look at
how Ira's doing it.
604
00:23:51,808 --> 00:23:53,499
Bingo. Bango. Bungo.
605
00:23:53,568 --> 00:23:56,382
The man is loose, he's limber
and he's ready for action.
606
00:23:56,448 --> 00:23:57,692
So, climb aboard, girls,
607
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,582
and let me hear
your bodies talk.
608
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:00,662
Ooh!
609
00:24:00,736 --> 00:24:02,197
Whoa! Yes!
610
00:24:02,272 --> 00:24:03,581
This position is terrific
611
00:24:03,647 --> 00:24:06,495
for anyone with osteoporosis,
gout or goiter.
612
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,699
Stay with me, kids.
We're almost done.
613
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,295
Ah! Honey!
614
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:12,821
Oh! All right, guys.
615
00:24:12,895 --> 00:24:14,488
We have to wrap it up.
Everyone.
616
00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:16,348
Remember to take
your Liberator pads.
617
00:24:16,416 --> 00:24:19,067
And don't forget to stretch
before you try this at home.
618
00:24:19,263 --> 00:24:21,630
We don't want anyone
shattering a pelvis.
619
00:24:21,727 --> 00:24:23,702
Hello, my precious.
620
00:24:23,776 --> 00:24:25,150
Oh, I love you so much.
621
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:27,604
I haven't seen
my bubeleh in months.
622
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:28,924
Honey, you feel thin.
No, no.
623
00:24:28,992 --> 00:24:30,519
You're not eating.
What's the matter?
624
00:24:30,591 --> 00:24:33,374
No. I'm fine. Mom, how do we explain
all these people to the Byrneses?
625
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,895
Honey, they're leaving.
The Byrneses won't know they were here.
626
00:24:35,968 --> 00:24:39,132
Okay. We agreed to be discreet about
you being a sex therapist this weekend
627
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,109
until you got to know
Jack and Dina better. Right?
628
00:24:41,183 --> 00:24:43,190
Don't worry. I'll be discreet.
I put all my toys away.
629
00:24:43,263 --> 00:24:45,173
And my office is all ready
for them to sleep in.
630
00:24:45,248 --> 00:24:47,102
Your office? No, no.
We're putting them upstairs.
631
00:24:47,168 --> 00:24:49,339
Your father thought they'd be
more comfortable down here.
632
00:24:49,408 --> 00:24:51,317
The upstairs plumbing...
You don't wanna know.
633
00:24:51,391 --> 00:24:53,213
Talk to me about
something important, honey.
634
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,490
How are things
with you and Pam?
635
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:55,542
They're great.
636
00:24:55,616 --> 00:24:56,990
Because, you know,
after two years,
637
00:24:57,055 --> 00:24:58,713
you have to work
to keep things going.
638
00:24:58,783 --> 00:25:00,474
Does she still
climax regularly?
639
00:25:00,639 --> 00:25:01,621
Mom.
640
00:25:01,695 --> 00:25:03,550
You can't talk that way
this weekend, okay?
641
00:25:03,615 --> 00:25:04,695
Honey, I'm just saying
642
00:25:04,768 --> 00:25:06,328
I didn't raise you
to be a so-so lover.
643
00:25:06,399 --> 00:25:08,188
I know.
Okay, what is he doing?
644
00:25:08,256 --> 00:25:10,558
What?
Don't... don't worry about them.
645
00:25:10,687 --> 00:25:11,800
Mom, Mom,
646
00:25:11,871 --> 00:25:13,694
you got to get these people
out of here now.
647
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:14,708
Okay.
648
00:25:14,783 --> 00:25:15,961
Wipe that
little gloss off you.
649
00:25:16,032 --> 00:25:17,014
Okay.
650
00:25:18,623 --> 00:25:20,030
You hunt deer, Bernard?
651
00:25:20,095 --> 00:25:21,622
What? No, I hate that thing.
652
00:25:21,696 --> 00:25:23,070
Roz's father gave it to us.
653
00:25:23,135 --> 00:25:26,201
He was into all that
macho-wacho crap.
654
00:25:26,271 --> 00:25:27,286
Oh! So is Greg.
655
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,782
He and I went duck-hunting together.
Didn't we, Greg?
656
00:25:29,855 --> 00:25:31,132
Duck-hunting?
Me and you?
657
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:32,312
- Duck-hunting?
- Yeah.
658
00:25:32,383 --> 00:25:33,366
What? What?
659
00:25:33,439 --> 00:25:35,927
Gay, you went duck-hunting
with... with Jack?
660
00:25:36,448 --> 00:25:37,909
Um, yeah. We went, we did.
661
00:25:37,983 --> 00:25:39,510
We went
on a little hunting trip.
662
00:25:39,584 --> 00:25:40,664
You shot a duck?
663
00:25:40,736 --> 00:25:43,354
I shot at a duck and...
664
00:25:43,424 --> 00:25:45,944
You killed an
innocent creature of the sky?
665
00:25:46,015 --> 00:25:47,542
I don't... Did I...
I did... I don't...
666
00:25:47,616 --> 00:25:49,503
I think
I might've clipped it or...
667
00:25:49,568 --> 00:25:51,356
Never really checked.
668
00:26:17,855 --> 00:26:19,416
Oh, Lord.
669
00:26:19,488 --> 00:26:22,903
And now,
for the piece de resistance.
670
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,618
Oh, my goodness.
671
00:26:26,687 --> 00:26:28,280
Little somethin'
I've been workin' on.
672
00:26:28,351 --> 00:26:30,261
Oh, I see. Oh.
673
00:26:31,647 --> 00:26:34,069
Mom will be out in a sec.
What's that?
674
00:26:34,144 --> 00:26:35,388
It's you.
675
00:26:35,456 --> 00:26:36,765
It's the Wall of Gaylord.
676
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,847
The Wall of Gaylord?
677
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,171
Isn't it nice to finally display
your accomplishments, Son?
678
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,582
Honey, look
at all your awards.
679
00:26:43,648 --> 00:26:44,760
That's great.
680
00:26:44,831 --> 00:26:45,813
He's my champion.
681
00:26:45,887 --> 00:26:46,836
Oh, I didn't know
682
00:26:46,911 --> 00:26:48,504
they made ninth place
ribbons.
683
00:26:48,575 --> 00:26:51,031
Oh, Jack, they got them
all the way up to 10th place.
684
00:26:51,103 --> 00:26:53,143
Hey! Anybody want to
get a drink by the lagoon?
685
00:26:53,215 --> 00:26:54,622
This one looks impressive.
686
00:26:54,687 --> 00:26:58,681
Mazel tov, Gaylord M. Focker.
World's Greatest Nurse.
687
00:26:59,839 --> 00:27:00,788
Very nice.
688
00:27:00,864 --> 00:27:02,074
We've always tried
689
00:27:02,144 --> 00:27:04,053
to instill a sense of self
in Gaylord
690
00:27:04,127 --> 00:27:06,364
without being
too goal-oriented.
691
00:27:06,432 --> 00:27:08,123
It's not about
winning or losing,
692
00:27:08,192 --> 00:27:09,140
it's about passion.
693
00:27:09,983 --> 00:27:12,853
We just want him
to love what he's doin'.
694
00:27:12,927 --> 00:27:14,269
You know what I mean, Jack?
695
00:27:14,335 --> 00:27:15,677
Not really, Bernard.
696
00:27:15,743 --> 00:27:17,150
I think
a competitive drive
697
00:27:17,215 --> 00:27:18,808
is the essential key
that makes America
698
00:27:18,879 --> 00:27:21,367
the only remaining superpower
in the world today.
699
00:27:22,463 --> 00:27:24,285
Well, whatever works.
700
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,326
All right.
Don't forget the positions.
701
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,807
Bye, Dr. Roz.
You're a lifesaver.
702
00:27:27,871 --> 00:27:29,976
Oh, Thank you, B.J.
Goodbye.
703
00:27:30,047 --> 00:27:31,509
Ira, remember,
easy on the thrusting.
704
00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:33,144
You're not 78 anymore.
705
00:27:33,216 --> 00:27:34,710
Bing, bang, bong.
706
00:27:34,784 --> 00:27:37,272
What... What kind of work does
your mother do with those patients?
707
00:27:37,344 --> 00:27:40,061
Those look like yoga mats.
Is there yoga involved?
708
00:27:40,128 --> 00:27:41,305
It's yogaesque.
709
00:27:41,375 --> 00:27:43,066
It's sort of, um,
710
00:27:43,135 --> 00:27:44,793
a, um, a... a... a
couples therapy.
711
00:27:44,863 --> 00:27:46,107
Kind of mind-body...
712
00:27:46,175 --> 00:27:47,604
It's kind of
her own sort of...
713
00:27:47,679 --> 00:27:50,232
Rozela! Sweetheart,
living room!
714
00:27:50,719 --> 00:27:52,508
Hello! Hello! Hello!
715
00:27:52,575 --> 00:27:54,615
How are you, baby girl?
716
00:27:54,688 --> 00:27:55,898
Good, Roz.
717
00:27:55,967 --> 00:27:57,822
God! Look at you,
you're glowing!
718
00:27:57,887 --> 00:27:59,032
Oh, thank you.
719
00:27:59,103 --> 00:28:01,242
Hi, I'm Roz Focker
720
00:28:01,312 --> 00:28:03,800
you must be Jack,
and you must be Dina.
721
00:28:03,872 --> 00:28:04,984
Hi.
722
00:28:05,055 --> 00:28:06,332
I... I just can't believe
723
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:07,993
it's taken us
this long to meet, huh.
724
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,229
And who's
this little hairball?
725
00:28:10,304 --> 00:28:12,311
They brought their grandson
Baby Jack along.
726
00:28:12,383 --> 00:28:15,514
He's so adorable.
I could eat him up.
727
00:28:15,583 --> 00:28:17,558
Bern, did you show them
where they're sleeping?
728
00:28:17,632 --> 00:28:20,185
Right, right, right.
Because we don't have any air-conditioning,
729
00:28:20,256 --> 00:28:23,452
I made up a nice spot for you in Roz's
office 'cause it gets the best breeze,
730
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,276
and it's very near
the communal commode.
731
00:28:25,344 --> 00:28:28,093
Oh, well, you know, actually,
we're gonna stay in our motor home.
732
00:28:28,159 --> 00:28:29,304
In the trailer?
733
00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:31,263
Come on, Jack.
You're family.
734
00:28:31,327 --> 00:28:32,505
We sleep under the same roof.
735
00:28:32,576 --> 00:28:34,463
Actually, Mom's office
is kind of cluttered.
736
00:28:34,527 --> 00:28:35,836
So, that... that
works all right.
737
00:28:35,904 --> 00:28:37,627
It's just really easier
with Little Jack.
738
00:28:37,695 --> 00:28:39,386
No, no. Really.
We insist.
739
00:28:39,456 --> 00:28:40,917
They wanna sleep
in the trailer,
740
00:28:40,991 --> 00:28:42,268
let them sleep
in the trailer.
741
00:28:42,336 --> 00:28:44,158
Mom, it's not actually...
It's not a trailer.
742
00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:46,328
It's kind of like... It's like
a... like a hotel on wheels.
743
00:28:46,399 --> 00:28:49,214
This is practically a hotel.
I was gonna do the turndown service...
744
00:28:49,279 --> 00:28:51,189
I know, I know,
but it's their choice.
745
00:28:51,264 --> 00:28:53,435
Wherever you feel
most comfortable is fine.
746
00:28:53,504 --> 00:28:55,227
It's not right.
Bern, let it go.
747
00:28:55,295 --> 00:28:56,506
Let it go? Fine.
748
00:28:56,576 --> 00:28:57,688
Yeah, let it go.
749
00:28:57,759 --> 00:28:59,483
Look at you, sulking.
750
00:28:59,552 --> 00:29:01,461
Now, look at this.
I married a teenager. Right?
751
00:29:01,536 --> 00:29:03,805
At least you have the libido
of a teenager.
752
00:29:03,871 --> 00:29:05,595
I gave her
a little matinée today...
753
00:29:05,664 --> 00:29:07,518
Oh! Don't you dare!
Stop it!
754
00:29:08,031 --> 00:29:09,787
How about a double feature?
755
00:29:11,168 --> 00:29:12,761
Come on. Come on.
756
00:29:12,831 --> 00:29:15,384
Lagoon? Why don't we go
show them the lagoon?
757
00:29:15,455 --> 00:29:17,081
The lagoon.
Come see the lagoon.
758
00:29:17,152 --> 00:29:18,712
The lagoon, Jack. Come on.
759
00:29:18,848 --> 00:29:20,091
We'll get drunk,
760
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:21,752
we'll take a piss
in the lagoon.
761
00:29:22,304 --> 00:29:24,191
Roz, why don't you
take them outside?
762
00:29:24,256 --> 00:29:25,685
Show them around.
I'll make a drink.
763
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,073
Oh, God.
764
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,087
Hey, Dad...
765
00:29:36,159 --> 00:29:37,686
It's going good
so far, right?
766
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,215
Dad, you gotta take down
that weird shrine thing.
767
00:29:40,288 --> 00:29:41,662
But I'm very proud
of you, Gaylord.
768
00:29:41,727 --> 00:29:42,971
What's wrong with showing it?
769
00:29:43,039 --> 00:29:44,316
It's ridiculous.
770
00:29:44,384 --> 00:29:46,456
Most people aren't proud
of sixth place ribbons.
771
00:29:46,527 --> 00:29:47,476
Most people?
772
00:29:47,552 --> 00:29:49,210
Since when do you care
about most people?
773
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,247
I don't, but Jack
is really into winning
774
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,043
and competition and sports.
775
00:29:54,111 --> 00:29:55,802
It's a whole other thing
with him.
776
00:29:55,871 --> 00:29:58,424
Hey. Hey. You're a winner
up here and in here.
777
00:29:58,495 --> 00:30:00,186
And that's all that matters.
778
00:30:00,255 --> 00:30:01,629
Okay. Thank you.
779
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,582
I don't know what that means,
but thank you.
780
00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:05,044
So, to solve that problem,
781
00:30:05,119 --> 00:30:07,989
I created a life-like
latex left breast
782
00:30:08,064 --> 00:30:10,365
molded from his mother's
actual left breast,
783
00:30:10,431 --> 00:30:12,919
so this way L.J. would avoid
any nipple confusion.
784
00:30:12,991 --> 00:30:16,886
You're avoiding confusion
by strapping a boob on a man?
785
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,269
Well, yes, believe it or not,
786
00:30:18,336 --> 00:30:20,158
it is less confusing
because of the texture
787
00:30:20,223 --> 00:30:21,238
Mom.
788
00:30:21,312 --> 00:30:23,199
...of the breast itself.
789
00:30:23,263 --> 00:30:27,006
Uh, I guess it's very,
uh, creative.
790
00:30:27,072 --> 00:30:28,020
It's very creative.
791
00:30:30,335 --> 00:30:34,525
A little birdie told me
that one of our guests here
792
00:30:34,592 --> 00:30:36,414
is a Tom Collins man.
793
00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:38,937
Oh, for pity's sake.
794
00:30:39,007 --> 00:30:40,567
Isn't that nice, Jack?
795
00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:42,200
That is nice. Thank you.
796
00:30:42,272 --> 00:30:45,588
All right. Wait. Don't drink.
I want to make a toast.
797
00:30:47,136 --> 00:30:50,300
Now,
I had a vasectomy in 1974...
798
00:30:50,368 --> 00:30:51,383
'73, honey.
799
00:30:51,455 --> 00:30:52,568
You're right. '73.
800
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,323
So, unfortunately, I never had the
chance to procreate a daughter,
801
00:30:55,391 --> 00:30:56,569
but had I been able to,
802
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,160
I really
would've wanted a girl
803
00:30:59,231 --> 00:31:01,500
as sensitive
and as intelligent
804
00:31:01,663 --> 00:31:03,070
and as beautiful
805
00:31:03,327 --> 00:31:06,327
as this young lady
sitting right here before us.
806
00:31:06,784 --> 00:31:07,864
Thank you, Bernie.
807
00:31:07,936 --> 00:31:09,081
And if I might add...
808
00:31:09,152 --> 00:31:10,134
Greg.
809
00:31:10,528 --> 00:31:11,543
Yeah.
810
00:31:11,967 --> 00:31:13,374
I thought you had a sister?
811
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,382
Nope. No sister.
812
00:31:16,032 --> 00:31:17,439
You said you had a sister.
813
00:31:17,504 --> 00:31:19,643
You said
you milked your sister's cat.
814
00:31:24,224 --> 00:31:27,770
Okay, I'm not done yet.
What I'm trying to say is,
815
00:31:27,871 --> 00:31:30,522
it's taken far too long
to do this, you know,
816
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,694
but we're finally
all together.
817
00:31:33,248 --> 00:31:34,654
That's nice, honey.
818
00:31:35,199 --> 00:31:37,174
Oh, thank you.
819
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:39,773
All right, that's enough.
820
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,400
L'chaim, everyone.
821
00:31:41,471 --> 00:31:42,616
L'chaim!
822
00:31:42,687 --> 00:31:44,029
L'ha-ha.
823
00:31:44,095 --> 00:31:46,877
Like you have popcorn
stuck in the throat. It's a...
824
00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:48,500
Okay. To family.
825
00:31:50,432 --> 00:31:51,380
To family.
826
00:31:51,488 --> 00:31:52,470
Oh! I forgot.
827
00:31:52,543 --> 00:31:54,551
I want to say one more
thing about my vasectomy.
828
00:31:54,624 --> 00:31:55,801
Sit down.
829
00:31:55,871 --> 00:31:58,108
Honey,
get yourself over here.
830
00:31:58,176 --> 00:31:59,124
I went overboard?
831
00:31:59,199 --> 00:32:00,148
A little bit.
832
00:32:00,223 --> 00:32:02,907
You're so cute,
they'll forgive you anything.
833
00:32:03,135 --> 00:32:04,990
God! You're so beautiful.
834
00:32:05,055 --> 00:32:07,357
You are the sexiest woman
alive I know.
835
00:32:07,424 --> 00:32:10,174
You're just trying to
get me back into bed.
836
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,352
Or the hammock.
837
00:32:12,512 --> 00:32:14,202
This is
a delicious Tom Collins.
838
00:32:14,271 --> 00:32:16,508
What I did,
I used real lemon juice.
839
00:32:16,575 --> 00:32:18,485
It's from our trees here.
That's the secret.
840
00:32:18,559 --> 00:32:20,315
He was squeezing
all afternoon.
841
00:32:20,383 --> 00:32:21,496
Yeah. And, Jack,
842
00:32:21,568 --> 00:32:23,259
I managed to make some
lemon juice, too.
843
00:32:26,912 --> 00:32:28,406
Gay, you all right?
844
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,040
Honey, you okay?
Are you sure?
845
00:32:36,639 --> 00:32:38,101
Well, I think
846
00:32:38,176 --> 00:32:41,143
that Roz and Bernie seem like
very nice people.
847
00:32:41,216 --> 00:32:42,939
Oh! Very nice people.
848
00:32:43,328 --> 00:32:45,237
A little off-color,
but very nice.
849
00:32:45,312 --> 00:32:47,035
Oh! But isn't it
wonderful, Jack?
850
00:32:47,103 --> 00:32:48,445
After all this buildup,
851
00:32:48,511 --> 00:32:50,072
the kids
are finally getting married.
852
00:32:50,143 --> 00:32:51,704
I feel so happy.
853
00:32:51,776 --> 00:32:53,631
Wait a second.
I think he just spoke.
854
00:32:53,696 --> 00:32:56,085
Little Jack,
were you about to speak?
855
00:32:58,879 --> 00:33:00,374
Nope,
just a little flatulence.
856
00:33:00,447 --> 00:33:01,876
What were you saying, honey?
857
00:33:01,951 --> 00:33:03,195
Nothing, dear.
858
00:33:04,991 --> 00:33:07,544
Guys, where are you going?
859
00:33:07,615 --> 00:33:10,233
We're checking out
Jack's macho-wacho trailer.
860
00:33:10,303 --> 00:33:11,830
Yeah.
I want to see that boob.
861
00:33:11,903 --> 00:33:13,910
Can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah.
862
00:33:13,983 --> 00:33:16,220
Hey, listen, don't let Moses
go in there. They have a cat.
863
00:33:16,288 --> 00:33:17,881
Moses is perfectly trained...
864
00:33:17,952 --> 00:33:19,643
Dad, he humps
everything that moves.
865
00:33:19,712 --> 00:33:20,956
Honey,
he's like his father.
866
00:33:21,024 --> 00:33:22,234
I never cheated on you.
867
00:33:22,304 --> 00:33:24,311
They're not listening to me.
868
00:33:27,071 --> 00:33:28,216
So, what's up?
869
00:33:28,287 --> 00:33:30,524
They seem to be getting along
really well, don't you think?
870
00:33:30,592 --> 00:33:33,210
Yeah, they do. I know.
I kind of feel bad that I worried so much.
871
00:33:33,279 --> 00:33:34,621
Yeah. That was okay.
872
00:33:34,687 --> 00:33:35,931
What's going on?
873
00:33:37,375 --> 00:33:38,553
I'm pregnant.
874
00:33:38,687 --> 00:33:40,378
You're pregnant?
875
00:33:41,055 --> 00:33:42,877
I'm two weeks late.
I'm nauseous,
876
00:33:42,943 --> 00:33:44,699
my boobs hurt,
and I can smell everything.
877
00:33:44,768 --> 00:33:47,288
- You're gonna have a baby.
- Yeah. A baby.
878
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,116
Oh, we're gonna
have a little baby, a baby.
879
00:33:49,184 --> 00:33:50,296
I'm pregnant.
880
00:33:50,367 --> 00:33:51,774
I just... I...
881
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:55,828
Yeah.
882
00:33:57,824 --> 00:33:58,936
Oh, shit!
883
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,517
You realize your father
is going to kill me?
884
00:34:03,872 --> 00:34:05,279
No, no, no, no, no.
885
00:34:05,344 --> 00:34:07,733
He's not gonna find out because
we're not going to tell him.
886
00:34:07,808 --> 00:34:10,197
No, no, no, no, no. Come on.
He's a human lie detector.
887
00:34:10,271 --> 00:34:11,798
He lives to sniff out
stuff like this.
888
00:34:11,872 --> 00:34:13,050
We'll get
through this weekend,
889
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:14,167
we'll get through tomorrow.
890
00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:16,444
And... and... and we'll tell
them on Sunday before we go.
891
00:34:16,512 --> 00:34:17,559
Okay? We'll tell them all.
892
00:34:17,632 --> 00:34:20,021
I just hate the idea of
keeping secrets from your dad.
893
00:34:20,096 --> 00:34:22,005
It's just one little secret.
894
00:34:22,816 --> 00:34:24,222
Oh! Hi, neighbors.
895
00:34:24,288 --> 00:34:25,368
Hello.
896
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:26,617
The Fockers, honey.
897
00:34:26,687 --> 00:34:28,094
A la fancy-shmancy.
898
00:34:28,159 --> 00:34:29,468
Welcome to the chateau.
899
00:34:29,536 --> 00:34:31,608
No wonder they don't want
to sleep in our shit box.
900
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,890
Look at this place.
901
00:34:34,015 --> 00:34:36,404
I... I don't think the dog
is such a good idea.
902
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,902
Don't worry. Moses is more
of a lover than a fighter.
903
00:34:38,975 --> 00:34:40,536
- Jesus!
- Moses!
904
00:34:40,608 --> 00:34:42,877
He's always dreamt of me
having a white wedding.
905
00:34:42,944 --> 00:34:44,537
You don't know how upset
he's gonna be.
906
00:34:44,608 --> 00:34:45,623
No, I do know.
907
00:34:45,695 --> 00:34:47,867
Moses! Moses!
908
00:34:47,936 --> 00:34:48,918
Jinxy!
909
00:34:48,992 --> 00:34:50,999
Dad, I told you
to keep him out of the RV.
910
00:34:51,072 --> 00:34:52,381
He said he
wanted to see the RV.
911
00:34:52,447 --> 00:34:53,429
Dad!
912
00:34:53,504 --> 00:34:54,551
Moses! Moses!
913
00:34:54,623 --> 00:34:56,827
Get that goddamn dog
out of here!
914
00:34:59,935 --> 00:35:00,884
Mo!
915
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,512
Oh, God!
916
00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:04,729
Dad!
917
00:35:05,984 --> 00:35:06,932
Oh! Jinx.
918
00:35:07,007 --> 00:35:07,956
Jinx, don't do it.
919
00:35:08,031 --> 00:35:08,980
Jinxy, no.
920
00:35:09,056 --> 00:35:10,004
Don't do it!
921
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:11,028
No!
922
00:35:12,288 --> 00:35:14,939
Jesus! Moses! Hold on.
923
00:35:18,623 --> 00:35:20,347
Moses, hold on.
I'm gonna save you!
924
00:35:20,416 --> 00:35:21,757
The cat can flush?
925
00:35:22,175 --> 00:35:23,386
Oh, my God!
926
00:35:25,247 --> 00:35:26,262
Get out of the way!
927
00:35:26,336 --> 00:35:28,474
Hey! What the hell are you doing?
That's my toilet!
928
00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:29,591
I got to get my dog!
929
00:35:29,664 --> 00:35:31,518
Forget your dog.
What about my toilet?
930
00:35:32,256 --> 00:35:33,204
Moses!
931
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,228
No! Stop the baby!
Stop the baby!
932
00:35:48,864 --> 00:35:50,009
He's alive!
933
00:35:51,392 --> 00:35:52,537
He's fine.
934
00:35:52,608 --> 00:35:55,063
So much for the protection
of our rolling safe house.
935
00:35:55,136 --> 00:35:57,689
Oh, honey, he was trying
to save his pet.
936
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,189
I mean, what if it was Jinxy
937
00:35:59,263 --> 00:36:00,605
who got flushed
into a toilet?
938
00:36:00,671 --> 00:36:02,776
Mr. Jinx has had
extensive aquatic training.
939
00:36:02,847 --> 00:36:05,630
He would have known exactly what
to do in the event of a submersion.
940
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,375
20-minute warning for dinner,
guys.
941
00:36:12,447 --> 00:36:14,302
Sorry about
the trailer, Jack.
942
00:36:15,392 --> 00:36:17,082
Muskrat.
943
00:36:19,296 --> 00:36:20,670
It's okay, Bernard.
944
00:36:22,272 --> 00:36:24,246
There's no way we're not
telling him this weekend.
945
00:36:24,319 --> 00:36:25,880
I know.
That's what I was saying.
946
00:36:25,952 --> 00:36:26,966
So, what do you wanna do?
947
00:36:27,039 --> 00:36:28,981
I'm not sure.
I never thought this'd be an issue.
948
00:36:29,055 --> 00:36:30,965
I thought we'd be married
before we got pregnant.
949
00:36:31,039 --> 00:36:32,250
Hey.
What?
950
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,672
Why don't we move
the wedding up to next month?
951
00:36:35,743 --> 00:36:36,758
What?
952
00:36:36,832 --> 00:36:37,879
Then we'll tell your dad
953
00:36:37,951 --> 00:36:39,839
you got pregnant
on the honeymoon.
954
00:36:39,967 --> 00:36:41,942
Oh, my God, yeah,
that could work.
955
00:36:42,016 --> 00:36:43,445
Yeah. It's perfect, right?
Yeah.
956
00:36:43,519 --> 00:36:44,861
Okay. Good.
Just follow my lead.
957
00:36:44,927 --> 00:36:46,356
Okay.
Okay.
958
00:36:48,767 --> 00:36:51,582
Without further ado,
my famous Focker Fondue.
959
00:36:53,023 --> 00:36:55,031
Come on, dig in. Come on.
Get it while it's hot.
960
00:36:55,104 --> 00:36:58,137
That is so impressive, Bernie.
Did you do that yourself?
961
00:36:58,207 --> 00:37:00,029
Oh, sure.
Oh! I love to cook.
962
00:37:00,095 --> 00:37:01,175
I can't even fry an egg.
963
00:37:01,247 --> 00:37:02,196
True.
964
00:37:02,271 --> 00:37:03,384
I burn cornflakes.
965
00:37:03,648 --> 00:37:05,622
I'm amazed
he finds the time to cook
966
00:37:05,695 --> 00:37:07,637
with such a high-powered
legal career.
967
00:37:07,807 --> 00:37:08,822
High-powered?
968
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,389
I wouldn't exactly call...
Uh-oh!
969
00:37:10,464 --> 00:37:12,187
You kicked me.
Why did you kick me?
970
00:37:12,255 --> 00:37:15,386
I kick... kicked you
because you're being modest
971
00:37:15,455 --> 00:37:18,139
and you should tell people that
you are a good lawyer, which he is,
972
00:37:18,208 --> 00:37:19,702
and he has fought
973
00:37:19,872 --> 00:37:21,628
some really big,
important legal battles.
974
00:37:21,696 --> 00:37:23,932
Truth is, Jack, when Gay was
born, I stopped practicing
975
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,269
and became
a stay-at-home dad.
976
00:37:26,367 --> 00:37:27,480
Oh, believe me,
977
00:37:27,552 --> 00:37:29,079
he won a trial or two
in his day.
978
00:37:29,151 --> 00:37:30,777
Oh!
Extremely good trial lawyer.
979
00:37:30,847 --> 00:37:32,309
A regular Clarence Darrow.
980
00:37:32,383 --> 00:37:33,790
So Roz was
the primary breadwinner
981
00:37:33,856 --> 00:37:35,350
and you didn't have a job?
982
00:37:35,424 --> 00:37:36,569
Dad.
983
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,673
Honey, come on, you could say
he had the hardest job.
984
00:37:39,807 --> 00:37:41,334
Oh, he's... he's just kidding.
985
00:37:41,407 --> 00:37:42,617
Of course, I'm... Yes.
986
00:37:42,687 --> 00:37:44,956
Why don't we jump into
the topic of the hour, hmm,
987
00:37:45,024 --> 00:37:46,234
the big
Focker-Byrnes wedding.
988
00:37:46,304 --> 00:37:47,449
Yes. Good.
989
00:37:48,064 --> 00:37:50,552
I know we've been talking
about a... a fall wedding...
990
00:37:54,176 --> 00:37:55,353
Is that Isabel?
991
00:37:55,423 --> 00:37:57,595
Oh, yeah. Our former
housekeeper, Isabel.
992
00:37:57,664 --> 00:38:00,249
You know, she has her own catering
business now, isn't that great?
993
00:38:00,319 --> 00:38:03,221
And... and I asked her to come and
help Bernie in the kitchen this weekend.
994
00:38:03,295 --> 00:38:04,572
You didn't tell me
she was here.
995
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,582
Gay had a monster crush on
her when he was a teenager.
996
00:38:06,656 --> 00:38:07,638
Really?
997
00:38:07,712 --> 00:38:09,305
I didn't have
any monster crush.
998
00:38:09,376 --> 00:38:10,717
You didn't tell me
about that.
999
00:38:10,783 --> 00:38:11,831
Yeah. Because it's not true.
1000
00:38:11,904 --> 00:38:14,773
Oh, not true? Then I didn't catch you
doing baziga to her passport photo
1001
00:38:14,848 --> 00:38:15,830
when you were, what, 13?
1002
00:38:15,904 --> 00:38:16,852
Honey, stop.
1003
00:38:16,927 --> 00:38:18,171
I walk in the door...
1004
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:19,287
Where is he?
1005
00:38:19,359 --> 00:38:20,853
Oh, there's my baby!
1006
00:38:20,927 --> 00:38:21,975
Hey!
1007
00:38:27,008 --> 00:38:28,349
Good to see you.
1008
00:38:28,832 --> 00:38:29,780
Good to see you.
1009
00:38:29,856 --> 00:38:31,383
I... I haven't
seen you in years.
1010
00:38:31,456 --> 00:38:32,404
I know.
1011
00:38:32,543 --> 00:38:33,885
Yes, you...
1012
00:38:33,952 --> 00:38:36,123
Wow! Yeah. Look at you.
You look...
1013
00:38:36,191 --> 00:38:37,173
I know.
1014
00:38:37,247 --> 00:38:38,229
Yeah. You look...
1015
00:38:38,303 --> 00:38:39,481
- I had a boob job.
- Wow.
1016
00:38:40,768 --> 00:38:42,142
Yeah. Yeah.
1017
00:38:42,592 --> 00:38:45,014
Hey! This is, uh,
Dina and Jack Byrnes.
1018
00:38:45,087 --> 00:38:46,102
Mucho gusto.
1019
00:38:46,176 --> 00:38:47,124
Hi, Isabel.
1020
00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:48,148
Mucho gusto.
1021
00:38:48,223 --> 00:38:51,071
And this is Pam Byrnes,
my fiancée.
1022
00:38:51,135 --> 00:38:53,045
Encantada.
1023
00:38:53,119 --> 00:38:54,908
Nice to meet you, too.
1024
00:38:55,487 --> 00:38:58,782
Not yet married,
and already a little one?
1025
00:38:59,423 --> 00:39:01,790
And he is
a handsome little Focker.
1026
00:39:02,944 --> 00:39:03,926
See?
1027
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,210
Oh, no. He's not a Focker.
1028
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:06,589
Yeah, no.
He's not mine.
1029
00:39:06,655 --> 00:39:09,044
And still you stayed
to raise her child?
1030
00:39:09,216 --> 00:39:10,198
Good for you.
1031
00:39:10,272 --> 00:39:11,581
No, he's Pam's nephew.
1032
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,047
He has no connection
to Greg whatsoever.
1033
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:19,483
I love you, too.
1034
00:39:19,551 --> 00:39:21,210
Mama! Mama!
Mama!
1035
00:39:23,296 --> 00:39:24,702
Little Jack, no.
1036
00:39:24,768 --> 00:39:26,142
Those aren't for you.
1037
00:39:30,399 --> 00:39:31,348
Oh.
1038
00:39:31,648 --> 00:39:32,596
Mom.
1039
00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:34,776
I think I'll take
him inside.
1040
00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:36,249
Good idea.
1041
00:39:38,847 --> 00:39:41,662
You're a very
lucky woman, Pam.
1042
00:39:41,727 --> 00:39:43,735
He's very special,
this one.
1043
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:46,810
I think so, too.
1044
00:39:46,879 --> 00:39:49,148
Oh, I could tell you
some stories about him.
1045
00:39:49,216 --> 00:39:50,328
Really?
1046
00:39:50,944 --> 00:39:52,799
Oh, she's just
being silly.
1047
00:39:52,927 --> 00:39:54,520
Nice to meet you all.
1048
00:39:54,592 --> 00:39:55,999
Nice to meet you.
1049
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,615
So sweet. Oh! So sweet.
1050
00:40:00,831 --> 00:40:03,003
Hey, do you guys
want some more, uh, wine?
1051
00:40:03,616 --> 00:40:06,398
Mas vino por la mama, si.
1052
00:40:06,816 --> 00:40:07,764
Hey.
1053
00:40:08,032 --> 00:40:10,137
Hey, you did good, Greg.
1054
00:40:10,207 --> 00:40:12,094
She's very pretty,
this one, huh?
1055
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,461
Yeah, she's, uh,
she's really great.
1056
00:40:14,528 --> 00:40:15,510
Really great.
1057
00:40:15,583 --> 00:40:18,104
Can you believe
it's been 15 years?
1058
00:40:19,871 --> 00:40:22,173
So many wonderful memories
from those days.
1059
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,574
Yes. Yes, lot of wonderful,
1060
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,185
kind of private memories.
1061
00:40:28,255 --> 00:40:32,347
So, you never told
your fiancée about us, huh?
1062
00:40:32,416 --> 00:40:34,041
Um, no, I don't think I did.
1063
00:40:34,111 --> 00:40:36,380
I don't, I think, I don't think
it ever came up on my end.
1064
00:40:36,447 --> 00:40:38,749
Not that I didn't want her to know.
It just, never really...
1065
00:40:38,815 --> 00:40:41,019
Yeah, and not that, I... I mean,
not that it wasn't great.
1066
00:40:41,087 --> 00:40:43,226
It was really, you know,
for me it was like...
1067
00:40:43,296 --> 00:40:44,670
And you were so
1068
00:40:44,735 --> 00:40:46,262
helpful and... and...
1069
00:40:46,335 --> 00:40:47,612
Don't you worry, baby.
1070
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,087
Your secret's safe with me.
1071
00:40:49,183 --> 00:40:50,132
Okay.
1072
00:40:50,431 --> 00:40:51,860
There's no secrets.
But, good, yeah,
1073
00:40:51,936 --> 00:40:53,878
maybe if we keep it quiet
this weekend and then...
1074
00:40:53,952 --> 00:40:55,959
Because, yeah, I don't want
Pam to feel uncomfortable.
1075
00:40:56,032 --> 00:40:58,901
And then later, when it's the proper,
you know, setting, I can...
1076
00:40:58,975 --> 00:41:01,430
Okay, yeah, okay, good.
And, uh...
1077
00:41:01,759 --> 00:41:02,708
Good.
1078
00:41:02,944 --> 00:41:05,911
Oh, and fondue, fondue
is going... is goin' over.
1079
00:41:05,984 --> 00:41:08,188
Gay, you're just in time
to hear me tell the gang
1080
00:41:08,256 --> 00:41:10,165
how you lost
your virginity to Isabel.
1081
00:41:12,831 --> 00:41:15,198
He was 19. A late bloomer.
1082
00:41:16,159 --> 00:41:17,948
You slept with Isabel?
1083
00:41:18,015 --> 00:41:19,542
We were relieved.
1084
00:41:20,064 --> 00:41:21,973
Why... why would you,
why... why would you bring that up?
1085
00:41:22,048 --> 00:41:23,030
What's the problem?
1086
00:41:23,104 --> 00:41:24,413
It was, what, 15 years ago.
1087
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:25,854
Honey, your father thought
1088
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:27,196
that it'd be fun
to share stories
1089
00:41:27,263 --> 00:41:28,473
about our first time.
1090
00:41:28,639 --> 00:41:31,095
Really? That sounds like fun.
That's...
1091
00:41:31,167 --> 00:41:32,793
That's fine.
1092
00:41:32,864 --> 00:41:35,231
Come on, tell us how you
popped your cherry. Come on.
1093
00:41:35,903 --> 00:41:37,147
I really don't feel
comfortable
1094
00:41:37,215 --> 00:41:38,622
discussing that
with you, Bernard.
1095
00:41:38,687 --> 00:41:41,469
You know what? I suggest that we
get back to talking about the wedding.
1096
00:41:41,536 --> 00:41:42,942
Thank you, Bernie.
1097
00:41:44,191 --> 00:41:45,271
What?
1098
00:41:45,344 --> 00:41:47,483
Mom, didn't you just take
Little Jack back to the room?
1099
00:41:47,552 --> 00:41:49,308
I'm monitoring him
from a high-powered
1100
00:41:49,376 --> 00:41:51,547
multidirectional microphone
planted in his crib.
1101
00:41:51,615 --> 00:41:54,135
Oh, baby monitors.
Hidden cameras.
1102
00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:56,411
Whatever happened to a
little thing called privacy?
1103
00:41:56,479 --> 00:41:58,454
Bernie, surveillance technology
has helped protect
1104
00:41:58,528 --> 00:41:59,706
a lot of the freedoms
1105
00:41:59,776 --> 00:42:01,630
that we as Americans
take advantage of today.
1106
00:42:05,152 --> 00:42:07,061
He's right.
It has been good.
1107
00:42:09,632 --> 00:42:11,836
Son, that is bullcrap
in a chef's salad.
1108
00:42:11,904 --> 00:42:14,621
Jack, tell me one smart thing
the CLIA has done
1109
00:42:14,688 --> 00:42:16,957
and I'll give you
the deed to her house.
1110
00:42:17,024 --> 00:42:18,268
The CLIA?
1111
00:42:18,336 --> 00:42:20,475
The Central Lack
of Intelligence Agency.
1112
00:42:29,696 --> 00:42:31,638
I think that baby might need
a couple of pulls
1113
00:42:31,712 --> 00:42:33,206
on that knocker
of yours, Jack.
1114
00:42:35,904 --> 00:42:36,886
No, it's okay.
1115
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,007
We're Ferberizing him.
1116
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,509
- You're what?
- The Ferber method.
1117
00:42:39,583 --> 00:42:42,202
You let him cry it out.
This way he doesn't depend on coddling.
1118
00:42:42,272 --> 00:42:44,443
On the other hand,
the Continuum Concept
1119
00:42:44,512 --> 00:42:46,203
shows that a baby benefits
1120
00:42:46,272 --> 00:42:48,574
more from constant
physical contact.
1121
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:49,588
Oh.
1122
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:51,934
We use the Ferber Method.
1123
00:42:52,063 --> 00:42:53,470
We used the Focker Method.
1124
00:42:53,696 --> 00:42:55,354
We hugged and kissed
that little prince
1125
00:42:55,424 --> 00:42:57,050
like there was no tomorrow.
1126
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:58,526
We Fockerized him.
1127
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:00,600
That's right.
1128
00:43:00,672 --> 00:43:02,712
Greggy practically slept
in our bed till he was 10.
1129
00:43:02,784 --> 00:43:03,732
Oh, my God!
1130
00:43:03,808 --> 00:43:05,466
Oh, I don't think
it was quite that long.
1131
00:43:05,535 --> 00:43:06,484
Yes, it was.
1132
00:43:06,559 --> 00:43:07,541
No, it wasn't 10.
1133
00:43:07,615 --> 00:43:09,176
Nine-and-a-half, at least.
1134
00:43:09,248 --> 00:43:10,327
Mom, I don't think so.
1135
00:43:10,399 --> 00:43:12,538
I didn't sleep
in their bed all that time.
1136
00:43:12,607 --> 00:43:13,981
Bernie, get the photo album.
1137
00:43:14,048 --> 00:43:15,127
I'm one step ahead of you.
1138
00:43:15,199 --> 00:43:17,916
No, no, no,
we're eating dinner, come on.
1139
00:43:18,816 --> 00:43:20,190
These are the curls
1140
00:43:20,255 --> 00:43:21,979
from his first trip
to the barbershop.
1141
00:43:22,048 --> 00:43:23,706
Nobody wants to see this.
1142
00:43:23,775 --> 00:43:25,564
Oh, and you kept
all of his baby teeth.
1143
00:43:25,632 --> 00:43:27,290
Look at his
darling little teeth,
1144
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,400
isn't that sweet?
1145
00:43:29,472 --> 00:43:32,505
Uh-oh, somebody looks
very grumpy there.
1146
00:43:32,575 --> 00:43:34,102
Oh, that's Gay with the mohel.
1147
00:43:34,176 --> 00:43:35,223
- The mohel?
- No.
1148
00:43:35,295 --> 00:43:38,361
He's the man who snips
the baby's little winkydink.
1149
00:43:38,431 --> 00:43:40,886
See, that's Greg getting
circumcised, right here.
1150
00:43:40,959 --> 00:43:42,934
We had the ceremony
at my parents' house
1151
00:43:43,008 --> 00:43:44,764
but there was a cold snap
and... Tell him.
1152
00:43:44,832 --> 00:43:45,912
The heater conked out.
1153
00:43:45,984 --> 00:43:46,966
Mom.
1154
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,341
No matter how hard he tried,
the mohel couldn't coax
1155
00:43:49,407 --> 00:43:51,611
Greg's tiny little turtle
from its shell.
1156
00:43:51,679 --> 00:43:54,046
You know what?
Let's not talk about the tiny turtle, okay?
1157
00:43:54,111 --> 00:43:55,224
Let's... This is dinner.
1158
00:43:55,296 --> 00:43:57,914
Honey, half the people
at this table have penises.
1159
00:43:57,983 --> 00:43:59,641
Mom, control yourself.
1160
00:43:59,711 --> 00:44:02,078
Roz, he's right.
You're embarrassing him.
1161
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:03,869
Okay, I'm sorry.
1162
00:44:03,936 --> 00:44:06,936
Make a long story short, Jack,
he wound up with a semicirc.
1163
00:44:09,344 --> 00:44:10,554
What's a semicirc?
1164
00:44:10,623 --> 00:44:11,834
I can't wait to hear this.
1165
00:44:11,904 --> 00:44:14,751
What? It's a cross between
an ant eater and...
1166
00:44:14,815 --> 00:44:16,222
A German Army helmet.
1167
00:44:19,711 --> 00:44:21,140
But, honey... Oh!
1168
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,313
You wanted to talk
about the wedding, right?
1169
00:44:26,335 --> 00:44:28,921
Don't tell me you kept
his umbilical cord.
1170
00:44:28,992 --> 00:44:31,196
Of course not,
that's Greg's foreskin.
1171
00:44:31,839 --> 00:44:34,687
All right, you know what? That's it.
That's... that's enough humiliation.
1172
00:44:34,752 --> 00:44:35,996
Honey, stop.
We're having fun.
1173
00:44:36,064 --> 00:44:37,012
No, I'm not having fun.
1174
00:44:37,087 --> 00:44:37,916
Why deny us our memories?
1175
00:44:37,984 --> 00:44:38,932
Because we're done!
1176
00:44:46,911 --> 00:44:48,821
Anyone in the mood
for Chinese?
1177
00:44:50,464 --> 00:44:51,412
You told me
your first time
1178
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,491
was with the Danish transfer
student in high school.
1179
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,316
Yeah, well, you weren't
exactly forthcoming
1180
00:44:56,384 --> 00:44:57,693
about your engagement
with Kevin.
1181
00:44:57,759 --> 00:44:59,614
Yeah, well,
he wasn't my babysitter.
1182
00:44:59,679 --> 00:45:01,337
Okay, I should have
told you, all right.
1183
00:45:01,407 --> 00:45:02,902
Can we just let
it go, please?
1184
00:45:02,975 --> 00:45:05,725
We both got enough stuff
to deal with this weekend.
1185
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:11,607
Oh, hi, Jack.
1186
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:12,662
Hello, Greg.
1187
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:14,905
Funny dinner, huh?
1188
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:17,018
How do you mean?
1189
00:45:17,088 --> 00:45:19,739
I know that you are studying my
family like the frozen caveman.
1190
00:45:19,808 --> 00:45:21,782
So, I just, I don't want
you to be worried, okay?
1191
00:45:21,855 --> 00:45:24,375
I mean, they're
a little quirky,
1192
00:45:24,447 --> 00:45:26,008
but they... they're
well-intentioned
1193
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:27,989
and... and I think
they're just nervous and...
1194
00:45:28,064 --> 00:45:30,333
Greg, I am sure tomorrow
will be a better day.
1195
00:45:30,399 --> 00:45:31,708
I'm sorry, ma'am.
1196
00:45:31,775 --> 00:45:33,564
I thought you
ordered room service.
1197
00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:34,875
Are you sure
you don't want
1198
00:45:34,943 --> 00:45:36,798
any whipped cream
with your sundae?
1199
00:45:37,887 --> 00:45:38,902
Bern, stop it!
1200
00:45:38,976 --> 00:45:40,983
Who's Bern?
I'm Chad, the bellhop.
1201
00:45:41,055 --> 00:45:42,746
Oh, no, come on,
we did that last week.
1202
00:45:42,816 --> 00:45:44,605
Can't you be
Sam the carpet-cleaning man?
1203
00:45:44,672 --> 00:45:47,290
It's illogical. Why would a carpet
cleaner have whipped cream?
1204
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:48,440
Well, improvise, honey.
1205
00:45:48,512 --> 00:45:49,460
Good evening, miss.
1206
00:45:49,536 --> 00:45:50,812
I'm here to clean
your carpet.
1207
00:45:52,704 --> 00:45:55,322
Do you mind if I put some
foam down on your rug?
1208
00:45:55,392 --> 00:45:56,668
I don't mind at all.
1209
00:45:56,735 --> 00:45:57,717
Good night, Greg.
1210
00:45:57,791 --> 00:45:58,773
Okay, sleep well, Jack.
1211
00:45:58,847 --> 00:46:01,019
How long... how long have you
worked in this hotel?
1212
00:46:01,696 --> 00:46:03,801
It's time to put some snow
on your mountains.
1213
00:46:03,872 --> 00:46:05,530
Come on, I'm gonna get
some whipped cream
1214
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:06,548
on those Tetons.
1215
00:46:08,416 --> 00:46:09,343
Guys!
1216
00:46:09,407 --> 00:46:11,229
Come back in the morning,
tootsie roll.
1217
00:46:11,296 --> 00:46:13,205
Gay, you see
the cowboy hat on the door?
1218
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:14,589
Cowboy hat is off the door!
1219
00:46:14,655 --> 00:46:15,997
No cowboy hat this weekend!
1220
00:46:16,064 --> 00:46:17,242
I'm coming in!
1221
00:46:17,312 --> 00:46:19,134
Just stop doing
what you're doing!
1222
00:46:20,096 --> 00:46:21,078
Oh!
1223
00:46:21,152 --> 00:46:22,329
Come on, man, you know
1224
00:46:22,399 --> 00:46:24,636
what that cowboy hat
on the door means.
1225
00:46:24,704 --> 00:46:26,133
Will you please
help me out here?
1226
00:46:26,208 --> 00:46:27,996
What?
We're just being ourselves.
1227
00:46:28,063 --> 00:46:29,209
Mom, mom, please...
1228
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:30,905
I think he's saying
not to be ourselves.
1229
00:46:30,975 --> 00:46:31,990
Yes, be yourselves
1230
00:46:32,064 --> 00:46:33,471
but be yourself in a way
1231
00:46:33,536 --> 00:46:35,674
that's a little less than
being your full selves, okay.
1232
00:46:35,743 --> 00:46:37,020
I don't understand this.
1233
00:46:37,087 --> 00:46:38,810
I mean, why you're so
afraid of this Jack?
1234
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,952
You've been kissing his ass
ever since you got here.
1235
00:46:41,024 --> 00:46:42,300
Mom, I'm not afraid
of him, okay.
1236
00:46:42,368 --> 00:46:43,350
- It's not true.
- It is true.
1237
00:46:43,423 --> 00:46:45,562
I can't believe you went
duck-hunting with him.
1238
00:46:45,631 --> 00:46:46,973
Our people
don't shoot ducks.
1239
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,462
Just make Jack feel a little
more comfortable here, okay?
1240
00:46:49,535 --> 00:46:50,997
So you don't want us
to be ourselves?
1241
00:46:51,072 --> 00:46:53,014
No, I just don't want you
to break his RV, Dad,
1242
00:46:53,088 --> 00:46:55,062
and... and... and reveal
that I had sex with Isabel
1243
00:46:55,135 --> 00:46:57,852
and play weird sex games that
everybody can hear in the house.
1244
00:46:57,919 --> 00:46:58,901
Mom... Mom, please.
1245
00:46:58,975 --> 00:47:00,917
If you ask me,
it wouldn't be so bad
1246
00:47:00,991 --> 00:47:02,420
if your future in-laws
heard this.
1247
00:47:02,496 --> 00:47:03,444
Do me a favor.
1248
00:47:03,519 --> 00:47:06,040
Just don't therapize the Byrneses
this weekend at all, okay?
1249
00:47:06,111 --> 00:47:07,322
All I'm saying is,
1250
00:47:07,392 --> 00:47:08,853
a few minutes
of concentrated work
1251
00:47:08,927 --> 00:47:09,942
with him and Dina,
1252
00:47:10,016 --> 00:47:11,772
she could get him
to blow like Krakatoa.
1253
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,815
Right, okay, yeah,
you know what?
1254
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,062
One day, just give me
one day, okay,
1255
00:47:16,128 --> 00:47:17,372
without any complications.
1256
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,262
We get through it,
everybody goes off,
1257
00:47:19,327 --> 00:47:20,985
we go on with our lives.
Can we do that?
1258
00:47:21,055 --> 00:47:22,430
All right.
You got it, dude.
1259
00:47:22,496 --> 00:47:23,641
Thank you, okay.
1260
00:47:23,712 --> 00:47:26,133
Hon, put the hat
back on the door, okay?
1261
00:47:26,207 --> 00:47:28,574
No mom.
No cowboy hat this weekend.
1262
00:47:28,672 --> 00:47:30,494
Okay, but tonight
doesn't count.
1263
00:47:31,871 --> 00:47:33,016
All aboard.
1264
00:47:44,128 --> 00:47:45,502
Morning, partner.
1265
00:47:47,839 --> 00:47:48,788
Morning.
1266
00:47:49,888 --> 00:47:50,968
Sleep okay?
1267
00:47:51,775 --> 00:47:53,597
I slept all right,
thank you.
1268
00:47:59,744 --> 00:48:01,402
It's nice, all of us
being here together,
1269
00:48:01,471 --> 00:48:02,748
don't you think?
1270
00:48:03,872 --> 00:48:06,293
Bernard, do you mind
if I have some privacy?
1271
00:48:06,752 --> 00:48:07,864
Almost done.
1272
00:48:15,808 --> 00:48:17,368
Bernie,
this fritatta is wonderful.
1273
00:48:17,439 --> 00:48:18,388
What's in it?
1274
00:48:18,463 --> 00:48:20,569
Well, a lot of the taste comes
from this old skillet.
1275
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:21,687
I've never washed it.
1276
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,134
Hey, guys,
1277
00:48:23,295 --> 00:48:25,270
can I have everybody's
attention, please?
1278
00:48:25,344 --> 00:48:27,231
Gay, be back in a second.
1279
00:48:27,711 --> 00:48:29,654
Okay, Dad. All right.
1280
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:31,320
Uh, so...
1281
00:48:31,808 --> 00:48:33,880
Mom, I know we've been...
we've been talking about
1282
00:48:33,952 --> 00:48:36,123
having the, uh,
wedding in October,
1283
00:48:36,191 --> 00:48:38,101
but Pam and I
have been doing a little thinkin'
1284
00:48:38,176 --> 00:48:39,485
and playing around
with some ideas
1285
00:48:39,552 --> 00:48:41,526
and, uh, we're thinking
of moving it up to June.
1286
00:48:41,599 --> 00:48:42,581
Nice.
1287
00:48:42,655 --> 00:48:43,604
This June?
1288
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:44,923
Yeah.
Yeah.
1289
00:48:44,991 --> 00:48:47,097
That's... that's in a month.
1290
00:48:47,263 --> 00:48:49,019
I always wanted
a spring wedding, you know.
1291
00:48:49,088 --> 00:48:51,477
Well, that's great, so we can
announce it at the party tonight.
1292
00:48:51,551 --> 00:48:52,500
Good idea.
1293
00:48:52,576 --> 00:48:53,558
Wait, what party?
1294
00:48:53,631 --> 00:48:54,580
Jack!
1295
00:48:55,072 --> 00:48:56,184
Let's play football!
1296
00:48:56,255 --> 00:48:57,597
Oh, your father
and I are throwing
1297
00:48:57,663 --> 00:48:59,038
a little
engagement soirée
1298
00:48:59,104 --> 00:49:00,631
for you two lovebirds.
1299
00:49:00,703 --> 00:49:02,492
Look at that.
1300
00:49:02,559 --> 00:49:05,145
That's so sweet.
Thank you, guys.
1301
00:49:05,216 --> 00:49:07,420
I thought we were just having
a nice quiet dinner.
1302
00:49:07,488 --> 00:49:09,211
It was supposed
to be a surprise.
1303
00:49:09,279 --> 00:49:11,483
The phone keeps ringing,
the list keeps growing.
1304
00:49:11,551 --> 00:49:13,493
Yeah, now,
it's up to 50 Fockers.
1305
00:49:13,567 --> 00:49:15,901
When were you going to tell us
about this?
1306
00:49:15,968 --> 00:49:19,066
50 Fockers.
What could be better?
1307
00:49:19,743 --> 00:49:21,751
Dad, what are you doing?
We never play football.
1308
00:49:21,823 --> 00:49:23,678
I'm trying to cement
relationships here.
1309
00:49:23,743 --> 00:49:25,532
Jack said
he was into footy ball.
1310
00:49:25,599 --> 00:49:27,966
Let's show El Stiffo
how we play the game.
1311
00:49:28,031 --> 00:49:28,980
Footy ball?
1312
00:49:29,056 --> 00:49:30,430
Come on, come on,
let's play!
1313
00:49:30,495 --> 00:49:31,673
I'm feeling a little tired.
1314
00:49:31,744 --> 00:49:33,686
I think I'll sit it out
with Little Jack, okay?
1315
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,320
Honey, you want me to
keep you company?
1316
00:49:35,392 --> 00:49:36,821
No, Dina, come on,
1317
00:49:36,896 --> 00:49:38,652
you and I will take on
Jack and Roz.
1318
00:49:38,720 --> 00:49:41,567
Come on, Jack, it'll be fun,
we'll swap wives.
1319
00:49:41,631 --> 00:49:44,348
Don't worry, you'll get her
back after the game.
1320
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:46,618
Fine, we'll play
three on two.
1321
00:49:46,688 --> 00:49:48,510
But someone needs to be
official quarterback.
1322
00:49:48,576 --> 00:49:49,558
Gay goes both ways.
1323
00:49:49,632 --> 00:49:50,842
I'll bet he does.
1324
00:49:53,024 --> 00:49:55,195
One, two. Hut.
1325
00:50:15,488 --> 00:50:16,470
Come on.
1326
00:50:16,543 --> 00:50:19,031
I'll run a down-and-in,
draw in the defense,
1327
00:50:19,103 --> 00:50:21,591
then you'll hit Roz
here in the end zone for a TD.
1328
00:50:21,664 --> 00:50:23,671
What do you mean?
He hits me where with a what?
1329
00:50:23,744 --> 00:50:25,883
I'll throw you the ball,
you try to catch it, okay.
1330
00:50:25,952 --> 00:50:27,806
- You want me to catch?
- Yeah.
1331
00:50:27,872 --> 00:50:28,820
On two. Ready?
1332
00:50:28,896 --> 00:50:29,943
Yes.
1333
00:50:30,015 --> 00:50:31,870
Hut one, hut two, hike!
1334
00:50:33,984 --> 00:50:35,445
Come on, this way!
1335
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:36,862
That way, that way,
that way.
1336
00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:44,312
You remember
that time in the park?
1337
00:50:44,383 --> 00:50:45,910
You remember that time
in the park?
1338
00:50:45,983 --> 00:50:47,707
Guys, come on, come on,
cut it out.
1339
00:50:47,936 --> 00:50:48,983
I'm so proud of you.
1340
00:50:49,152 --> 00:50:50,199
I caught the ball.
1341
00:50:50,272 --> 00:50:51,963
Mom, come on.
1342
00:50:52,032 --> 00:50:53,144
I caught the ball!
1343
00:50:53,215 --> 00:50:54,263
Come on, huddle up.
1344
00:50:54,335 --> 00:50:56,408
No, I'm bored. Here!
1345
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:57,822
Dina, come on, let's go.
1346
00:50:57,888 --> 00:50:58,902
You want a spritzer?
1347
00:50:58,975 --> 00:51:00,666
What? Oh, a spritzer.
1348
00:51:00,735 --> 00:51:01,684
That sounds yummy.
1349
00:51:01,759 --> 00:51:03,669
All right, come on.
Dad, you got to focus, all right?
1350
00:51:03,744 --> 00:51:05,500
He's beating you
down the field every time.
1351
00:51:05,568 --> 00:51:06,877
You want me to
be macho-wacho?
1352
00:51:06,944 --> 00:51:09,694
No. What? Have I ever said the
words macho-wacho to you in my life?
1353
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:11,004
- I got it.
- What?
1354
00:51:11,072 --> 00:51:12,413
I won't disappoint you.
1355
00:51:13,312 --> 00:51:15,581
Okay, let's try again,
I'm gonna run a stop and go.
1356
00:51:15,647 --> 00:51:17,109
Fake the short pass,
then hit me here
1357
00:51:17,184 --> 00:51:18,493
in the end zone
with a Hail Mary.
1358
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:19,508
Okay, got that.
1359
00:51:19,583 --> 00:51:20,860
Yeah, we keep
running that play.
1360
00:51:20,928 --> 00:51:22,237
You want to mix
it up a little?
1361
00:51:22,304 --> 00:51:24,344
No, I don't. I've exposed
Bernie's weakness
1362
00:51:24,416 --> 00:51:25,823
and I want to take advantage
of it.
1363
00:51:25,888 --> 00:51:28,703
Exposed his weakness.
Okay, okay. On four?
1364
00:51:28,768 --> 00:51:29,716
Four.
1365
00:51:40,863 --> 00:51:43,384
Just you and me, Jack.
Mano a mano.
1366
00:51:44,287 --> 00:51:46,327
You think you can take me,
Flowerman?
1367
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,669
I'm pretty sure I can,
Mr. Mom.
1368
00:51:49,536 --> 00:51:51,325
You're going down,
Bernsie-boy.
1369
00:51:51,392 --> 00:51:53,148
I'm going to
rearrange your bouquet.
1370
00:51:55,584 --> 00:51:56,860
Sell the pump fake, Greg,
1371
00:51:56,927 --> 00:51:58,782
'cause that Focker's gonna bite.
1372
00:52:09,311 --> 00:52:14,068
Hut one, hut two,
hut three, hut four. Hike!
1373
00:52:39,904 --> 00:52:42,489
Oh, my God!
Are you all right?
1374
00:52:44,031 --> 00:52:44,980
Shit!
1375
00:52:48,415 --> 00:52:49,976
Hey, Jack, you okay?
1376
00:52:50,112 --> 00:52:51,868
I'm fine, Greg, thank you.
1377
00:52:51,936 --> 00:52:54,008
I see that kind of injury
all the time at the hospital.
1378
00:52:54,079 --> 00:52:56,021
I wish you'd let me
give you a quick exam.
1379
00:52:56,095 --> 00:52:58,070
No, I'm, I'm fine.
1380
00:52:58,144 --> 00:53:00,959
I told you I'll have my doctor
look at it when I get home.
1381
00:53:01,792 --> 00:53:02,740
Okay.
1382
00:53:03,327 --> 00:53:06,644
You know, it's amazing how your father
anticipated the pump fake like that.
1383
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,207
It's almost like
he knew it was coming.
1384
00:53:11,136 --> 00:53:14,714
Well, he definitely takes
competition seriously.
1385
00:53:15,936 --> 00:53:18,075
How a man handles himself
on the football field
1386
00:53:18,144 --> 00:53:20,053
says a lot
about his character.
1387
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:21,629
Know what I mean?
1388
00:53:22,975 --> 00:53:24,055
Okay.
1389
00:53:27,935 --> 00:53:29,212
- Hey.
- Hey.
1390
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,287
We got him, didn't we,
dude, huh?
1391
00:53:31,359 --> 00:53:32,886
Was he impressed?
1392
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,869
No, Dad, he wasn't.
That was a really hard shot.
1393
00:53:34,943 --> 00:53:36,437
You could've hurt him.
1394
00:53:36,511 --> 00:53:38,235
I just wanted it
to be a fun game
1395
00:53:38,304 --> 00:53:39,580
but you wanted to win,
1396
00:53:39,647 --> 00:53:41,403
so, you know,
you got me all steamed up.
1397
00:53:41,471 --> 00:53:43,227
No, I asked you to play
a little defense,
1398
00:53:43,295 --> 00:53:45,335
I didn't ask you to turn it
into a blood sport.
1399
00:53:45,407 --> 00:53:47,546
I play too easy.
I play too hard.
1400
00:53:47,616 --> 00:53:49,721
What are you really
asking me to do, Gaylord?
1401
00:53:49,792 --> 00:53:51,483
I'm not asking
anything of you, Dad.
1402
00:53:51,552 --> 00:53:53,461
Just... just go down there
and apologize to him, okay?
1403
00:53:53,535 --> 00:53:55,161
He thinks it
was a cheap shot.
1404
00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:57,054
Sure. Okay.
Whatever you say.
1405
00:53:57,375 --> 00:53:58,324
Okay.
1406
00:54:00,192 --> 00:54:01,436
I can't win with this kid.
1407
00:54:01,504 --> 00:54:02,748
- Honey...
- I can't.
1408
00:54:02,816 --> 00:54:03,798
It's okay.
1409
00:54:03,872 --> 00:54:05,301
- Hi, baby.
- Hey.
1410
00:54:05,696 --> 00:54:09,176
So, how far along is Pam?
1411
00:54:09,471 --> 00:54:10,486
What?
1412
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,731
Come on, honey, I knew it
the minute I saw her.
1413
00:54:12,799 --> 00:54:14,294
Her boobs are bigger.
She's hormonal.
1414
00:54:14,367 --> 00:54:16,255
No wine at dinner,
no football.
1415
00:54:17,151 --> 00:54:18,810
She just found out yesterday.
1416
00:54:20,608 --> 00:54:22,135
Honey.
1417
00:54:22,272 --> 00:54:24,159
My bubeleh's
going to have a baby!
1418
00:54:24,223 --> 00:54:25,630
My bubeleh's
going to be a father!
1419
00:54:25,696 --> 00:54:26,808
Oh, my God.
1420
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:28,767
Tell me, talk to me,
so this is so exciting.
1421
00:54:30,175 --> 00:54:31,801
No.
You didn't tell Dad, did you?
1422
00:54:31,872 --> 00:54:33,246
No, not yet.
He's gonna plotz.
1423
00:54:33,311 --> 00:54:34,555
No, no, Mom,
you can't tell him.
1424
00:54:34,623 --> 00:54:36,445
- Why not?
- Because he can't keep a secret.
1425
00:54:36,512 --> 00:54:37,460
You know that.
1426
00:54:37,599 --> 00:54:38,614
You think Jack knows?
1427
00:54:38,688 --> 00:54:40,510
Are you kidding?
That guy's in such denial,
1428
00:54:40,575 --> 00:54:42,485
he still thinks his daughter
is still a virgin.
1429
00:54:42,559 --> 00:54:44,120
Yeah, I know,
he's very old-fashioned.
1430
00:54:44,192 --> 00:54:46,232
That's why Pam can't tell
him till after the wedding.
1431
00:54:46,303 --> 00:54:48,213
- That is ridiculous.
- Mom, it isn't, believe me.
1432
00:54:48,288 --> 00:54:49,717
- You don't know him like I do.
- Fine.
1433
00:54:49,791 --> 00:54:51,220
My lips are sealed.
1434
00:54:51,295 --> 00:54:53,270
I am so excited
and thrilled for you.
1435
00:54:54,943 --> 00:54:56,405
So happy for you two!
1436
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:58,687
Did you plan this?
1437
00:54:58,752 --> 00:55:00,377
Uh, no,
it just sort of happened.
1438
00:55:00,447 --> 00:55:01,527
How did it happen?
1439
00:55:01,663 --> 00:55:02,743
How?
1440
00:55:02,911 --> 00:55:05,050
It just happened.
You know... you know how it happens.
1441
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:06,843
I mean, I'm not going
into the details.
1442
00:55:06,911 --> 00:55:08,406
Honey, I love details.
1443
00:55:08,512 --> 00:55:10,552
- Sorry.
- All right. Okay.
1444
00:55:11,328 --> 00:55:12,310
Well, you know, honey,
1445
00:55:12,384 --> 00:55:14,358
many unplanned
pregnancies happen
1446
00:55:14,431 --> 00:55:17,628
because the man
is such a sexual dynamo
1447
00:55:17,888 --> 00:55:19,993
and the woman
craves his sperm
1448
00:55:20,064 --> 00:55:22,169
on an unconscious
but very powerful level.
1449
00:55:22,336 --> 00:55:24,278
Mom, I am truly
not comfortable
1450
00:55:24,351 --> 00:55:25,846
having this
conversation with you.
1451
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:27,032
- No?
- No.
1452
00:55:27,104 --> 00:55:28,478
I've been saying it
since I was 11.
1453
00:55:28,543 --> 00:55:29,623
All right.
1454
00:55:29,695 --> 00:55:31,768
- Love you.
- Love you, too.
1455
00:55:32,864 --> 00:55:34,074
Uh, Jack!
1456
00:55:34,143 --> 00:55:35,736
What say you and me
go into town?
1457
00:55:35,807 --> 00:55:37,368
I got a guy
who can fix your RV.
1458
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:39,774
I'm in far too much
physical agony, Bernie.
1459
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:40,855
Gee, I'm sorry,
1460
00:55:40,928 --> 00:55:42,553
but it'll be good
for you, you know, to,
1461
00:55:42,623 --> 00:55:44,117
you know,
to get out and about.
1462
00:55:44,191 --> 00:55:46,973
Yeah. Perfect. I can take the
girls shopping in Coconut Grove.
1463
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:48,185
Little Jack is on
1464
00:55:48,256 --> 00:55:49,750
a very specific
napping schedule.
1465
00:55:49,824 --> 00:55:50,936
I better stay here.
1466
00:55:51,007 --> 00:55:53,560
No, go.
Greg can watch him.
1467
00:55:53,728 --> 00:55:54,775
Yeah, sure.
1468
00:55:54,847 --> 00:55:56,669
He has wonderful
parental instincts.
1469
00:55:56,735 --> 00:55:59,157
Dad, Greg deals with little
kids in the ER all the time.
1470
00:55:59,232 --> 00:56:01,687
It's true. They don't call me
Barry Poppins for nothing.
1471
00:56:03,264 --> 00:56:04,693
That's so cute.
1472
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:07,102
Why would someone call you
Barry Poppins?
1473
00:56:10,879 --> 00:56:12,090
They wouldn't.
1474
00:56:36,576 --> 00:56:39,194
Now, remember, Greg,
we're Ferberizing him.
1475
00:56:39,263 --> 00:56:40,889
So unless it's an emergency,
1476
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:42,847
under no circumstances
should you pick him up
1477
00:56:42,911 --> 00:56:44,570
or coddle him in any way
when he cries.
1478
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:45,752
Okay.
1479
00:56:45,824 --> 00:56:47,679
He's learning to self-soothe,
1480
00:56:47,744 --> 00:56:50,111
that means no television,
no unapproved toys,
1481
00:56:50,175 --> 00:56:51,190
and most of all,
1482
00:56:51,264 --> 00:56:52,540
no monkey business
of any kind.
1483
00:56:52,607 --> 00:56:53,818
Is that clear?
1484
00:56:53,888 --> 00:56:55,000
No monkey business.
Okay.
1485
00:56:55,072 --> 00:56:56,020
Jack.
1486
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:57,781
Shall we get
a move on, pal-o-mino?
1487
00:56:57,855 --> 00:56:59,099
I'm ready.
1488
00:57:09,664 --> 00:57:10,973
I love this, Roz.
1489
00:57:11,103 --> 00:57:12,412
This is a great find.
1490
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:13,789
Oh, good,
and it's loose,
1491
00:57:13,856 --> 00:57:16,223
so you can wear it even
if you gain a few pounds.
1492
00:57:16,863 --> 00:57:18,838
Isn't that lovely?
1493
00:57:18,943 --> 00:57:20,602
Honey, are you all right?
1494
00:57:20,672 --> 00:57:22,013
You look a little flushed.
1495
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,218
Oh, it's just the heat.
It takes some getting used to.
1496
00:57:24,287 --> 00:57:25,945
I'm fine.
I'm going to try this on.
1497
00:57:26,015 --> 00:57:27,095
Thank you, Roz.
1498
00:57:27,808 --> 00:57:29,215
Now, madame,
1499
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,614
let's find something sexy
for the momma to wear.
1500
00:57:32,256 --> 00:57:33,303
Look at this little number.
1501
00:57:33,375 --> 00:57:34,324
Whoa!
1502
00:57:34,399 --> 00:57:36,309
I think this will get
Jack's blood flowing.
1503
00:57:36,384 --> 00:57:38,620
Jack would have a coronary.
1504
00:57:38,943 --> 00:57:40,088
I thought so.
1505
00:57:40,159 --> 00:57:42,526
Oh, Dina, talk to me.
1506
00:57:43,647 --> 00:57:45,622
What's really going on
with that man?
1507
00:57:45,696 --> 00:57:47,801
He seems very uptight.
1508
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,229
Jack's always been
a little wound up.
1509
00:57:50,303 --> 00:57:52,092
His job was very stressful.
1510
00:57:52,383 --> 00:57:54,172
Being a florist is stressful?
1511
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:56,062
There's more to it
than people think.
1512
00:57:57,248 --> 00:58:00,182
If you don't mind me asking,
how is your sex life?
1513
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:03,483
I can't tell you that.
1514
00:58:03,551 --> 00:58:05,275
What's the big deal?
I'm a professional.
1515
00:58:05,344 --> 00:58:06,904
Dina, I'm a sex therapist,
1516
00:58:06,975 --> 00:58:09,342
specializing in
senior sexuality.
1517
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,829
I knew those
weren't yoga mats.
1518
00:58:13,311 --> 00:58:16,094
We're not 25 any... anymore.
1519
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:17,621
But you're not dead, either.
1520
00:58:17,695 --> 00:58:19,037
Lots of couples our age
1521
00:58:19,103 --> 00:58:20,761
lack intimacy
in their marriages.
1522
00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:22,293
I didn't say
we weren't intimate.
1523
00:58:22,368 --> 00:58:25,019
There are special occasions.
You know, anniversaries and...
1524
00:58:26,624 --> 00:58:28,031
Well, on our anniversary.
1525
00:58:28,095 --> 00:58:29,655
Ay-ya-yay.
Nicht gut.
1526
00:58:29,727 --> 00:58:30,709
I beg your pardon.
1527
00:58:30,783 --> 00:58:31,896
Not good.
1528
00:58:31,968 --> 00:58:34,619
I think that I can help
you and Jack reconnect.
1529
00:58:34,848 --> 00:58:35,862
How?
1530
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,014
Well,
1531
00:58:37,343 --> 00:58:39,765
it all starts
with a little bit of, uh,
1532
00:58:40,416 --> 00:58:42,837
how shall I say,
intimate contact.
1533
00:58:43,007 --> 00:58:44,152
Yeah.
1534
00:58:44,223 --> 00:58:45,434
My, that tingles.
1535
00:58:45,727 --> 00:58:47,385
Every pleasure in the body
1536
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,559
can be stimulated
through the ears.
1537
00:58:50,847 --> 00:58:53,531
I'd give it a shot
with Jack tonight.
1538
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,258
What's goin' on over here?
1539
00:58:55,712 --> 00:58:57,784
Nothing,
just having some girl talk.
1540
00:58:58,496 --> 00:58:59,444
Roz.
1541
00:59:26,784 --> 00:59:28,955
Okay. Here's the deal, L.J.
1542
00:59:29,024 --> 00:59:30,999
I'm going to give you
a few minutes of attention.
1543
00:59:31,071 --> 00:59:32,500
But you have to promise
1544
00:59:32,575 --> 00:59:34,747
that you don't tell
Grandpa Jack anything, okay?
1545
00:59:35,199 --> 00:59:36,508
All right. Good.
1546
00:59:39,168 --> 00:59:40,826
Okay, I don't quite know
what that means,
1547
00:59:40,896 --> 00:59:42,238
but I'm going to trust you.
1548
00:59:43,456 --> 00:59:44,404
All right. Here we go.
1549
00:59:44,992 --> 00:59:48,123
Okay. Okay.
It's okay.
1550
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,025
A little huggie-wuggie
never hurt anybody.
1551
00:59:59,584 --> 01:00:01,788
I know we aren't
supposed to watch TV
1552
01:00:01,856 --> 01:00:04,703
but we won't tell
Grandpa Jack, will we?
1553
01:00:05,504 --> 01:00:07,260
Oh, look, look, it's Elmo.
1554
01:00:07,456 --> 01:00:08,950
Do you like fishes?
1555
01:00:09,088 --> 01:00:10,746
You don't like fishes?
1556
01:00:10,815 --> 01:00:12,092
No. All right.
1557
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,774
Okay.
Okay.
1558
01:00:24,096 --> 01:00:25,656
Hey, I got an idea.
1559
01:00:25,727 --> 01:00:28,345
Let's see what pre-approved
genius toys Grandpa Jack has
1560
01:00:28,415 --> 01:00:30,423
in his big basket of fun.
1561
01:00:31,456 --> 01:00:34,772
Oh, look, look,
it's a... it's a... an abacus.
1562
01:00:35,391 --> 01:00:37,879
Abacuses aren't that much fun,
are they?
1563
01:00:37,951 --> 01:00:40,373
I don't know
why people think they're fun.
1564
01:00:40,448 --> 01:00:43,797
Look at this! Look!
It's... it's bolts on a plank.
1565
01:00:45,183 --> 01:00:47,867
Fun bolts.
No, not very fun.
1566
01:00:47,967 --> 01:00:48,916
Hey.
1567
01:00:51,328 --> 01:00:52,538
A little birdie!
1568
01:00:52,607 --> 01:00:53,851
Look, he sings.
1569
01:00:54,656 --> 01:00:57,307
♪ And if that
mockingbird don't sing ♪
1570
01:00:57,376 --> 01:01:01,336
♪ Then Greg is going to
buy you a diamond ring ♪
1571
01:01:01,407 --> 01:01:05,204
♪ And if that
diamond ring gets sold ♪
1572
01:01:05,984 --> 01:01:10,075
♪ Greg's gonna feel
like a big asshole ♪
1573
01:01:11,488 --> 01:01:13,909
Asshole.
1574
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,767
No, no, no, you don't want
to say that word.
1575
01:01:16,832 --> 01:01:18,686
We don't want to say that.
That's a bad word.
1576
01:01:18,752 --> 01:01:20,213
Asshole.
1577
01:01:20,287 --> 01:01:21,400
No, no, no.
1578
01:01:24,799 --> 01:01:26,108
I thought this
was a repair shop.
1579
01:01:26,176 --> 01:01:27,353
Oh, this is better.
1580
01:01:27,423 --> 01:01:29,114
That's Isabel's son, Jorge.
1581
01:01:29,247 --> 01:01:30,938
15 years old,
he can fix anything.
1582
01:01:31,071 --> 01:01:32,249
Hey, Bernie.
1583
01:01:33,664 --> 01:01:35,573
Yo! Georgie boy!
1584
01:01:35,647 --> 01:01:38,462
So, I think you got a tear
in the bilateral valve.
1585
01:01:38,527 --> 01:01:39,640
15, huh?
1586
01:01:40,063 --> 01:01:41,078
Genius.
1587
01:01:43,424 --> 01:01:44,984
Jorge, what did I tell you?
1588
01:01:45,055 --> 01:01:46,266
No more tinkering
1589
01:01:46,336 --> 01:01:47,929
until you finish
your science homework.
1590
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:48,948
Oh.
1591
01:01:49,503 --> 01:01:51,064
Uh, I was going to finish it
1592
01:01:51,167 --> 01:01:54,779
but, uh, Mr. Gerson
is out with, uh, rickets.
1593
01:01:54,976 --> 01:01:56,634
He said definitely don't do it
1594
01:01:56,704 --> 01:01:58,526
until his rickets
are... are cured.
1595
01:01:58,591 --> 01:02:00,446
And, you know,
I... I... I really...
1596
01:02:00,511 --> 01:02:03,359
Who knows if he's ever
telling the truth?
1597
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:04,920
Bernie,
1598
01:02:05,888 --> 01:02:08,124
I made chimichangas.
You guys want?
1599
01:02:08,191 --> 01:02:10,973
Have you ever known me
to turn down a chimi?
1600
01:02:11,071 --> 01:02:12,827
Jack, you in the mood, amigo?
1601
01:02:12,895 --> 01:02:13,910
No, thanks.
1602
01:02:17,535 --> 01:02:18,964
Why are you
looking at me funny?
1603
01:02:19,103 --> 01:02:20,565
I... I... I said...
1604
01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:23,356
Oh, no, no. You just look
like somebody I know.
1605
01:02:24,831 --> 01:02:26,173
No, no, no, no.
1606
01:02:26,239 --> 01:02:28,214
Tadpole. Tadpole.
Can you say tadpole?
1607
01:02:28,288 --> 01:02:29,881
Mad bull.
1608
01:02:29,952 --> 01:02:31,130
Asshole.
1609
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:32,345
No, Jack's mole.
1610
01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:34,139
'Cause Jack has
a big mole on his face.
1611
01:02:34,207 --> 01:02:35,516
Is your father the mechanic?
1612
01:02:35,616 --> 01:02:37,471
Oh, I... I don't know,
I never met him.
1613
01:02:37,536 --> 01:02:38,812
Never met your dad, huh?
1614
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,286
Oh, that's unfortunate.
1615
01:02:40,768 --> 01:02:42,229
But very interesting.
1616
01:02:42,688 --> 01:02:44,630
Mind if I take
a picture of you?
1617
01:02:44,767 --> 01:02:46,229
You know,
just for fun.
1618
01:02:46,303 --> 01:02:47,514
Okay.
1619
01:02:51,424 --> 01:02:54,075
♪ Mr. Moose likes to say
good words ♪
1620
01:02:54,144 --> 01:02:56,827
♪ He doesn't like
you to say bad words ♪
1621
01:02:56,895 --> 01:02:57,942
Asshole.
1622
01:02:59,104 --> 01:03:00,991
Okay.
Just hang on a second there.
1623
01:03:06,272 --> 01:03:07,417
Yeah.
Hello.
1624
01:03:07,488 --> 01:03:09,495
Hi, It's me.
How's it going with the little one?
1625
01:03:09,568 --> 01:03:13,146
Horribly. He's crying
and screaming, and cursing.
1626
01:03:13,215 --> 01:03:15,997
That poor kid is desperate
for human contact.
1627
01:03:16,063 --> 01:03:17,886
Honey, you need to hold him,
and kiss him,
1628
01:03:17,952 --> 01:03:19,162
do whatever it takes.
1629
01:03:19,231 --> 01:03:20,573
I've been hugging him
in secret,
1630
01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:22,462
feeding him chocolates, too.
1631
01:03:30,976 --> 01:03:32,699
All animals have babies...
1632
01:03:37,408 --> 01:03:39,350
Say hello to my
little friend!
1633
01:03:42,304 --> 01:03:44,126
You know,
he's probably teething.
1634
01:03:44,191 --> 01:03:46,046
So put a dab of rum
in his milk.
1635
01:03:46,111 --> 01:03:48,151
And it'll ease the pain,
he'll go to sleep.
1636
01:03:48,224 --> 01:03:49,468
You want me to
give him a drink?
1637
01:03:49,536 --> 01:03:51,227
I'm talking,
less than a thimbleful.
1638
01:03:51,296 --> 01:03:52,725
You don't want Jack
coming home
1639
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,261
to a screaming baby.
1640
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:04,861
Listen to your mother.
Goodbye. I love you.
1641
01:04:04,928 --> 01:04:06,269
All right, Mom.
1642
01:04:13,759 --> 01:04:17,272
Hey, Little Jack,
I got a surprise for you.
1643
01:04:18,847 --> 01:04:19,992
Little Jack?
1644
01:04:21,375 --> 01:04:23,317
Mr. Moose is looking for you.
1645
01:04:23,584 --> 01:04:25,918
Oh, shit!
Where the hell did he go?
1646
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:28,731
L.J.!
Little Jack!
1647
01:04:33,184 --> 01:04:35,322
L.J.! L.J.!
1648
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:40,222
Does that Jorge resemble
anyone you know?
1649
01:04:40,352 --> 01:04:41,399
No one I know.
1650
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,785
There's something
you don't see every day.
1651
01:04:55,008 --> 01:04:57,342
Focker!
Focker!
1652
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:00,247
Okay. I know this looks bad,
but I can explain it.
1653
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,229
What the hell happened?
I said no monkey business.
1654
01:05:02,303 --> 01:05:03,580
No.
There was no monkey business.
1655
01:05:03,648 --> 01:05:04,858
No monkey business?
1656
01:05:04,927 --> 01:05:07,131
You're wearing my breast,
Little Jack is drinking,
1657
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:08,148
Moses is sodomizing Jinx,
1658
01:05:08,223 --> 01:05:10,198
and you're telling me
there's no monkey business?
1659
01:05:10,272 --> 01:05:12,508
What is going on here?
You all right, L.J.?
1660
01:05:12,575 --> 01:05:14,463
Hello! We're home!
Hey, guys.
1661
01:05:14,527 --> 01:05:15,640
Give me the bottle.
1662
01:05:15,711 --> 01:05:16,988
What's happened
to Little Jack?
1663
01:05:17,055 --> 01:05:18,713
His hands are stuck
to the bottle of rum.
1664
01:05:18,783 --> 01:05:20,888
- Thank you, Dad.
- You bet they're stuck.
1665
01:05:20,959 --> 01:05:22,137
Greg, how did this happen?
1666
01:05:22,207 --> 01:05:23,636
And why are you
wearing antlers?
1667
01:05:24,064 --> 01:05:25,624
It's very complicated.
1668
01:05:25,695 --> 01:05:27,288
It's just a little glue.
He's fine.
1669
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:29,815
He's not fine. If he could use
his hands, he'd tell you himself.
1670
01:05:29,887 --> 01:05:31,545
All right. That's all right.
Come on.
1671
01:05:31,615 --> 01:05:33,273
Little Jack, honey,
are you okay?
1672
01:05:34,303 --> 01:05:35,252
Greg...
1673
01:05:35,328 --> 01:05:36,276
Dina. Pam.
1674
01:05:36,415 --> 01:05:38,520
Yes, Dad, uh... I'm coming.
Little Jack.
1675
01:05:38,591 --> 01:05:40,958
Honey, I said a thimble,
not a bottle.
1676
01:05:44,959 --> 01:05:45,908
Oh, Greg.
1677
01:05:45,984 --> 01:05:46,966
Hey.
1678
01:05:47,839 --> 01:05:49,465
How's the little guy doing?
1679
01:05:49,536 --> 01:05:51,445
Everything is
just as good as new.
1680
01:05:51,519 --> 01:05:52,566
Yeah.
1681
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:53,908
Dad, come on.
1682
01:06:01,567 --> 01:06:03,836
- Is he all right?
- He's asleep.
1683
01:06:03,903 --> 01:06:05,878
I don't care if they
did call you Larry Poppins.
1684
01:06:05,952 --> 01:06:07,675
You are completely unfit
to handle a child.
1685
01:06:07,743 --> 01:06:08,725
It was Barry Poppins.
1686
01:06:08,799 --> 01:06:11,221
What kind of sick cocktail were
you gonna make my grandson?
1687
01:06:11,296 --> 01:06:12,473
Jack, the baby's teething.
1688
01:06:12,543 --> 01:06:14,682
I told Greg to give him
some rum to ease the pain.
1689
01:06:14,752 --> 01:06:16,061
- It was your idea?
- Yes.
1690
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:17,982
What is wrong
with you people?
1691
01:06:18,047 --> 01:06:19,989
I used to rub bourbon
on Denny's gums.
1692
01:06:20,063 --> 01:06:21,437
Yeah! Look what
happened to him.
1693
01:06:21,504 --> 01:06:24,024
Greg, you couldn't follow
a simple set of instructions?
1694
01:06:24,096 --> 01:06:25,111
Jack, he was screaming.
1695
01:06:25,183 --> 01:06:27,191
So I went in and gave him
a little attention. Okay?
1696
01:06:27,264 --> 01:06:28,441
He's learning to self-soothe.
1697
01:06:28,511 --> 01:06:30,878
These setbacks are disastrous
for his development.
1698
01:06:30,943 --> 01:06:32,253
The child is adorable,
1699
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:34,262
but you're not raising
Little Buddha over here.
1700
01:06:34,336 --> 01:06:35,350
- Mom.
- What are you saying?
1701
01:06:35,423 --> 01:06:37,496
I'm saying that
I've seen that kid eat
1702
01:06:37,568 --> 01:06:39,226
at least 15 boogers
since he's been here
1703
01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:40,921
and I've got news for you,
Jack,
1704
01:06:40,991 --> 01:06:42,682
prodigies don't eat
their own boogers.
1705
01:06:42,751 --> 01:06:44,988
And I have news for you.
Prodigies don't come in 10th place
1706
01:06:45,056 --> 01:06:46,168
every time either.
1707
01:06:46,239 --> 01:06:48,094
Okay, Dad. That's my fiancé.
1708
01:06:48,159 --> 01:06:49,468
I'm sorry.
I've never seen people
1709
01:06:49,535 --> 01:06:50,964
celebrate mediocrity
the way you do.
1710
01:06:51,039 --> 01:06:53,527
Because we love our son?
We hug our son?
1711
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:55,061
Let's get down to it.
The truth is,
1712
01:06:55,135 --> 01:06:58,070
you're so concerned about
that Little Jack, but I think
1713
01:06:58,144 --> 01:06:59,605
that it's the
Little Jack in you
1714
01:06:59,679 --> 01:07:01,086
who's crying out for a hug.
1715
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:03,927
The Little Jack in me?
1716
01:07:05,664 --> 01:07:06,874
Jack, you have issues.
1717
01:07:06,944 --> 01:07:08,951
I'm trying to understand
why you run around
1718
01:07:09,023 --> 01:07:10,747
with a rubber boob
strapped to your chest.
1719
01:07:10,816 --> 01:07:12,026
Were you ever breastfed?
1720
01:07:12,096 --> 01:07:13,525
- Mom, stop.
- Key question.
1721
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:14,647
My guess is no.
1722
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:16,247
Spare me
the drugstore psychology.
1723
01:07:17,983 --> 01:07:19,674
Everybody! All right.
Everybody just...
1724
01:07:19,743 --> 01:07:22,264
Everybody just stop, okay?
1725
01:07:22,688 --> 01:07:24,859
Jack, I am not going
to make any excuses. Yes,
1726
01:07:24,928 --> 01:07:27,230
Little Jack wouldn't stop
crying so I gave him some hugs
1727
01:07:27,296 --> 01:07:28,725
and I let him watch TV.
1728
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:31,549
I went to answer the phone,
I was gone a second, I came back in,
1729
01:07:31,615 --> 01:07:33,688
he let himself out of the
playpen, he put on Scarface,
1730
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:36,574
and he glued his hands
to the rum bottle. Okay?
1731
01:07:39,264 --> 01:07:40,311
That's it.
1732
01:07:40,384 --> 01:07:41,561
Oh. That's it
1733
01:07:41,631 --> 01:07:43,770
Greg just said, "That's it!".
So I feel much better now.
1734
01:07:43,839 --> 01:07:45,017
Daddy, would you mind...
1735
01:07:45,088 --> 01:07:47,903
Please, Daddy. He made
an honest mistake. Let it go.
1736
01:07:47,968 --> 01:07:50,237
He's fine, Greg.
He's asleep.
1737
01:07:52,735 --> 01:07:53,848
He spoke.
1738
01:07:54,495 --> 01:07:56,153
Asshole.
1739
01:07:56,896 --> 01:07:57,844
What?
1740
01:07:58,976 --> 01:08:00,383
Did he say what
I am thinking?
1741
01:08:00,448 --> 01:08:01,790
I think he did.
1742
01:08:02,976 --> 01:08:05,245
Little Jack,
what did you just say?
1743
01:08:05,631 --> 01:08:08,250
Asshole.
1744
01:08:11,008 --> 01:08:12,568
His first word?
1745
01:08:16,735 --> 01:08:18,677
It just slipped
out of my mouth. I...
1746
01:08:19,007 --> 01:08:20,284
He has a mind like a sponge.
1747
01:08:20,352 --> 01:08:21,334
That's enough.
1748
01:08:21,408 --> 01:08:23,196
I'm calling
a family conference.
1749
01:08:23,263 --> 01:08:24,441
Oh, it's a great idea, Jack.
1750
01:08:24,511 --> 01:08:26,650
Let's finally get your problems
out on the table.
1751
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:28,662
No, no, I mean with
my own family. Excuse us.
1752
01:08:28,736 --> 01:08:30,558
I'd like to talk to
Pam and Dina in private.
1753
01:08:30,623 --> 01:08:33,111
Of course, of course,
take your time.
1754
01:08:33,536 --> 01:08:34,518
Come on, honey.
1755
01:08:37,792 --> 01:08:38,774
I'm not so sure
1756
01:08:38,848 --> 01:08:40,124
this wedding is
such a good idea.
1757
01:08:40,191 --> 01:08:42,744
To say the least, I don't like what
I'm seeing from these Fockers.
1758
01:08:42,815 --> 01:08:43,764
What?
1759
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:46,229
Has Greg ever mentioned
the name Jorge to you? Jor...
1760
01:08:46,335 --> 01:08:48,440
I don't know what you're talking about.
No, why?
1761
01:08:48,511 --> 01:08:50,038
Because I think
your fiancé may have
1762
01:08:50,112 --> 01:08:52,697
a few skeletons in his closet
that he is not telling you about.
1763
01:08:52,767 --> 01:08:55,036
And skeletons don't like
living in closets.
1764
01:08:55,104 --> 01:08:57,111
Oh, my God, Here we go again.
Dad, listen,
1765
01:08:57,184 --> 01:08:59,256
you know,
Greg has no skeletons. Okay?
1766
01:08:59,327 --> 01:09:00,636
- Oh, really?
- He does not.
1767
01:09:00,703 --> 01:09:02,078
- Do you know that?
- Yes, I know that.
1768
01:09:02,144 --> 01:09:03,388
Will you just...
I'm not a child.
1769
01:09:03,456 --> 01:09:04,404
I see. She knows that.
1770
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:05,461
This wedding will happen.
1771
01:09:05,535 --> 01:09:06,909
And the sooner
you accept that,
1772
01:09:06,976 --> 01:09:08,863
the better it's going
to be for all of us.
1773
01:09:08,927 --> 01:09:09,975
I can't talk to you.
1774
01:09:10,112 --> 01:09:11,868
No.
Wait a second, sweetheart.
1775
01:09:13,119 --> 01:09:16,600
And I'm not so sure Roz
is a yoga instructor, either.
1776
01:09:16,671 --> 01:09:19,421
Jack, you promised
that you'd behave yourself.
1777
01:09:19,487 --> 01:09:20,862
And what you said
to those people
1778
01:09:20,928 --> 01:09:22,073
was really hurtful.
1779
01:09:22,144 --> 01:09:24,664
I think you should go up there
and apologize.
1780
01:09:24,735 --> 01:09:27,190
I'm not going to apologize
to them.
1781
01:09:27,263 --> 01:09:28,441
Jack.
1782
01:09:32,192 --> 01:09:34,559
A little birdie told me
1783
01:09:34,624 --> 01:09:36,631
that somebody's going to
be a daddy.
1784
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:37,847
Mom!
1785
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:39,382
Sorry, honey,
but look at that face.
1786
01:09:39,455 --> 01:09:40,633
How could I keep it a secret?
1787
01:09:40,703 --> 01:09:42,743
He's so excited
about being a grandpa.
1788
01:09:42,816 --> 01:09:44,026
What should he call me?
1789
01:09:44,095 --> 01:09:45,589
How about Poppy?
1790
01:09:45,663 --> 01:09:48,184
You don't have
to have champagne, okay?
1791
01:09:48,256 --> 01:09:49,816
- Why?
- Jack's really angry.
1792
01:09:49,888 --> 01:09:51,000
I know he's mad,
1793
01:09:51,071 --> 01:09:52,500
but he's also
a little meshuggenah.
1794
01:09:52,575 --> 01:09:54,714
Come on, honey. How often do
we get to be grandparents?
1795
01:09:54,784 --> 01:09:55,831
We're having a toast.
1796
01:09:55,904 --> 01:09:57,464
Okay, fine,
but, Dad, this is a secret.
1797
01:09:57,535 --> 01:09:59,390
We can't tell Jack
till after we are married.
1798
01:09:59,455 --> 01:10:00,699
Why? We are honest people.
1799
01:10:00,767 --> 01:10:02,589
No! I can't stand
this secrecy anymore. Why?
1800
01:10:03,647 --> 01:10:04,596
Be quiet.
1801
01:10:04,671 --> 01:10:06,046
Why should we diminish our joy
1802
01:10:06,112 --> 01:10:07,672
just because they live
in denial?
1803
01:10:08,799 --> 01:10:09,781
Seriously.
1804
01:10:12,576 --> 01:10:14,518
I promised Pam, okay?
1805
01:10:14,784 --> 01:10:16,856
She thinks it'll break his heart if he finds out.
1806
01:10:16,927 --> 01:10:18,618
I'm not gonna take a drink.
1807
01:10:18,688 --> 01:10:19,932
Your father's right.
1808
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:21,658
This is the 21st century!
Married or not,
1809
01:10:21,727 --> 01:10:23,353
there's no shame
in fatherhood!
1810
01:10:23,424 --> 01:10:25,366
This is
the fruit of your loins.
1811
01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:26,933
That is so beautiful.
1812
01:10:27,008 --> 01:10:28,414
Say that to him again.
1813
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:29,974
This is the fruit of your loins!
1814
01:10:30,048 --> 01:10:32,469
This is
the fruit of your loins!
1815
01:10:32,543 --> 01:10:34,583
Okay. Let's toast
and let's make a sandwich,
1816
01:10:34,656 --> 01:10:36,150
and Mom wants
to be the cheese.
1817
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:38,774
Jack Byrnes,
what are you doing?
1818
01:10:40,127 --> 01:10:42,102
What did you do?
1819
01:10:42,176 --> 01:10:44,216
You okay there, Jacko?
1820
01:10:44,288 --> 01:10:45,597
What's the matter
What happened?
1821
01:10:47,007 --> 01:10:49,396
I was, uh, coming to apologize
1822
01:10:49,696 --> 01:10:51,386
and my back went into spasm.
1823
01:10:51,455 --> 01:10:54,074
It's very tender from that
horrific football accident.
1824
01:10:54,144 --> 01:10:55,126
Yeah, I feel it.
1825
01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:56,726
My God, you're knotted
like a pretzel.
1826
01:10:56,799 --> 01:10:58,228
You must be
in a lot of pain, huh?
1827
01:10:58,304 --> 01:11:00,126
I don't mind pain.
I learn from pain.
1828
01:11:00,191 --> 01:11:02,014
Pain-shmain.
My fingers are magic.
1829
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:03,836
Come on,
let me work out the kinks.
1830
01:11:03,935 --> 01:11:05,975
Oh. That's a
lovely offer, Jack.
1831
01:11:06,368 --> 01:11:07,797
Uh, no, thanks. I'll be fine.
1832
01:11:07,871 --> 01:11:10,588
My wife does
wonderful bodywork, Jack.
1833
01:11:10,655 --> 01:11:11,703
I don't think he needs it.
1834
01:11:16,767 --> 01:11:19,156
Okay, handsome, shirt off.
1835
01:11:19,264 --> 01:11:20,638
I'd rather have it on,
thank you.
1836
01:11:20,703 --> 01:11:22,012
Oh, no dice.
1837
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:23,734
No, no, no.
It has to come off.
1838
01:11:23,808 --> 01:11:25,401
Ah, lovely.
1839
01:11:25,888 --> 01:11:27,349
You know,
1840
01:11:27,456 --> 01:11:29,561
most back pain
is psychological.
1841
01:11:29,632 --> 01:11:31,704
We carry our
emotional baggage
1842
01:11:31,775 --> 01:11:34,077
right here in our muscles.
1843
01:11:35,455 --> 01:11:37,463
I've been watching you, Jack.
1844
01:11:37,760 --> 01:11:39,865
Studying your body language.
1845
01:11:39,936 --> 01:11:42,783
And you're a very sensual man.
1846
01:11:43,104 --> 01:11:45,209
But I'm not sure
you realize that.
1847
01:11:45,344 --> 01:11:46,751
What are you doing?
1848
01:11:46,944 --> 01:11:49,180
It's a technique
I learned in Hawaii.
1849
01:11:49,247 --> 01:11:51,484
It's a Lomi-Lomi massage
1850
01:11:51,552 --> 01:11:54,814
named after the gentle waves
of the Polynesian Sea.
1851
01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:58,622
The waves go in,
and the waves go out.
1852
01:11:59,007 --> 01:12:00,633
The waves go in.
1853
01:12:01,983 --> 01:12:02,932
Whoops.
1854
01:12:03,008 --> 01:12:04,601
Hit some driftwood.
1855
01:12:05,952 --> 01:12:09,268
Jack Byrnes,
you are a caged lion.
1856
01:12:09,344 --> 01:12:12,126
But lions can't be captives
their entire lives.
1857
01:12:12,191 --> 01:12:14,046
They have to be free
to roam the bush,
1858
01:12:14,111 --> 01:12:15,770
free and wild.
1859
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:18,556
Your wife is a hot,
sexy tigress
1860
01:12:18,624 --> 01:12:20,478
and she's waiting for you
to pounce on her.
1861
01:12:20,544 --> 01:12:22,878
Let me hear you roar,
baby, roar.
1862
01:12:24,128 --> 01:12:25,175
Your body is talking to me.
1863
01:12:25,248 --> 01:12:26,557
It's hungry for action.
1864
01:12:26,624 --> 01:12:27,802
I can feel it.
1865
01:12:27,872 --> 01:12:29,944
Unleash the beast inside you.
1866
01:12:30,015 --> 01:12:31,804
Mom, stop it.
You're hurting him.
1867
01:12:31,872 --> 01:12:34,076
I am not hurting him.
I am helping him.
1868
01:12:34,144 --> 01:12:35,802
Just don't... don't...
1869
01:12:35,872 --> 01:12:37,595
I don't think you
should move just yet.
1870
01:12:37,728 --> 01:12:39,932
Jack, come back
for an afternoon session.
1871
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:40,948
It'll do you good.
1872
01:12:41,024 --> 01:12:42,039
What're you doing?
1873
01:12:42,111 --> 01:12:43,737
We were so close.
I could feel it.
1874
01:12:43,807 --> 01:12:45,017
I was getting through to him.
1875
01:12:45,087 --> 01:12:46,494
The guy doesn't
like to be touched.
1876
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:47,672
Because he has
1877
01:12:47,744 --> 01:12:49,118
the emotional hide
of a rhinoceros.
1878
01:12:49,183 --> 01:12:50,907
Don't break him down.
Just let him be.
1879
01:12:50,976 --> 01:12:52,569
I was trying to do you
a favor.
1880
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:54,396
You were riding him
like Seabiscuit, Mom.
1881
01:13:41,023 --> 01:13:43,031
Dial Foxtrot One.
1882
01:13:47,935 --> 01:13:49,277
Alpha, Foxtrot One.
1883
01:13:49,343 --> 01:13:50,325
Foxtrot One.
1884
01:13:50,400 --> 01:13:52,255
I need a full comparative
DNA analysis
1885
01:13:52,352 --> 01:13:54,239
on
one Gaylord M Focker
1886
01:13:54,303 --> 01:13:55,961
and one Jorge Villalobos.
1887
01:13:56,031 --> 01:13:58,398
Translation,
George, House of the wolves.
1888
01:13:58,464 --> 01:14:00,122
It might take
a couple of weeks, Santa.
1889
01:14:00,192 --> 01:14:02,297
No good, Foxtrot One,
I need a 12-hour turnaround.
1890
01:14:02,368 --> 01:14:04,670
I'll secure the physical
evidence and the handoff will be
1891
01:14:04,736 --> 01:14:06,907
at Harry Focker's
Good Time Supper Club,
1892
01:14:06,975 --> 01:14:08,252
2100 hours tonight.
1893
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:10,174
You got it, Santa.
Foxtrot One out.
1894
01:14:13,024 --> 01:14:14,006
Yello?
1895
01:14:14,080 --> 01:14:15,640
Bernie, this is Jack Byrnes.
1896
01:14:15,712 --> 01:14:17,654
Hey, Jack.
Hey, where are you calling from?
1897
01:14:17,728 --> 01:14:18,743
I'm in my RV.
1898
01:14:18,815 --> 01:14:20,855
Would you have Greg
meet me here in three minutes?
1899
01:14:20,927 --> 01:14:21,876
You're in your trailer?
1900
01:14:21,951 --> 01:14:22,999
Thank you, goodbye.
1901
01:14:23,072 --> 01:14:24,020
But...
1902
01:14:26,079 --> 01:14:27,192
Hey, Gaylord!
1903
01:14:27,616 --> 01:14:29,372
Jack wants you
to meet him
1904
01:14:29,440 --> 01:14:31,709
in his trailer
in precisely three minutes.
1905
01:14:32,384 --> 01:14:34,239
And I have to
tell you,
1906
01:14:34,367 --> 01:14:36,342
El Stiffo was really
starting to freak me out.
1907
01:14:36,735 --> 01:14:38,109
Greg, wait, okay?
1908
01:14:38,176 --> 01:14:39,834
Listen, no matter
how hard he probes you,
1909
01:14:39,904 --> 01:14:41,813
you have to promise me
that you will not break
1910
01:14:41,887 --> 01:14:43,797
because I'm not ready
to tell him I'm pregnant.
1911
01:14:43,871 --> 01:14:44,820
Hey, honey.
1912
01:14:44,896 --> 01:14:45,910
⁻ Honey.
- What? What?
1913
01:14:45,983 --> 01:14:47,292
Let him probe,
1914
01:14:47,359 --> 01:14:49,115
'cause he's probing
a brick wall.
1915
01:14:51,647 --> 01:14:52,629
Now show me how
1916
01:14:52,703 --> 01:14:54,776
you would like
a romantic evening to go.
1917
01:14:55,072 --> 01:14:57,690
Oh, Jack, wine and candles?
1918
01:14:57,759 --> 01:14:59,647
Gosh, it's not
even our anniversary.
1919
01:14:59,712 --> 01:15:01,305
Come here, hot stuff.
1920
01:15:02,655 --> 01:15:06,168
Yes, yes. Oh, Jack.
1921
01:15:08,991 --> 01:15:10,104
Jack?
1922
01:15:10,176 --> 01:15:11,834
Down here, under the bed.
1923
01:15:18,527 --> 01:15:19,869
Down here, Greg.
1924
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:24,152
Wow.
1925
01:15:24,224 --> 01:15:25,239
Have a seat.
1926
01:15:27,136 --> 01:15:28,859
Watch the panel.
1927
01:15:30,047 --> 01:15:31,454
This is incredible.
1928
01:15:42,656 --> 01:15:46,300
So this is like your, uh,
mobile command center
1929
01:15:46,688 --> 01:15:48,891
for all your spy activities?
1930
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,676
Mainly a secure space for me
to spend some alone time
1931
01:15:51,744 --> 01:15:53,173
and reflect on my thoughts.
1932
01:15:53,247 --> 01:15:55,320
Very cool.
1933
01:15:56,319 --> 01:15:57,563
- Greg.
- Yeah?
1934
01:15:57,887 --> 01:15:59,262
You'll recall,
1935
01:15:59,328 --> 01:16:01,662
we had a discussion earlier in
the week regarding my feelings
1936
01:16:01,727 --> 01:16:04,378
about family, legacies,
children and so forth.
1937
01:16:04,447 --> 01:16:06,105
- Oh, yeah, of course I recall.
- Yeah.
1938
01:16:07,616 --> 01:16:09,688
I'm going to
just ask you once.
1939
01:16:10,815 --> 01:16:12,571
Is there anything
you want to tell me
1940
01:16:12,639 --> 01:16:14,974
regarding things
that might have happened?
1941
01:16:15,040 --> 01:16:16,982
Unplanned things?
1942
01:16:18,047 --> 01:16:20,982
Things involving
the fruit of your loins?
1943
01:16:24,319 --> 01:16:25,268
No.
1944
01:16:33,952 --> 01:16:36,821
Well, if he's not going
to admit it on his own...
1945
01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:51,508
Hello?
1946
01:16:51,584 --> 01:16:53,144
Hello, Jorge?
1947
01:16:53,215 --> 01:16:54,622
It's Jack Byrnes,
remember me?
1948
01:16:54,752 --> 01:16:56,159
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
1949
01:16:56,224 --> 01:16:57,598
You came to
the house with Bernie.
1950
01:16:57,663 --> 01:16:58,874
You had that
fancy camera pen.
1951
01:16:58,944 --> 01:17:00,285
Yeah, that's right.
1952
01:17:00,608 --> 01:17:02,430
Listen, do you have
any plans tonight?
1953
01:17:02,496 --> 01:17:04,154
Uh, no.
1954
01:17:04,223 --> 01:17:06,296
Good, 'cause I'd like to
invite you to a party.
1955
01:17:14,208 --> 01:17:16,215
♪ You could feel
like dancin' ♪
1956
01:17:16,288 --> 01:17:17,400
♪ Dance ♪
1957
01:17:18,752 --> 01:17:21,207
♪ And you could feel
like fallin' ♪
1958
01:17:21,280 --> 01:17:21,879
♪ Fall ♪
1959
01:17:22,592 --> 01:17:23,901
♪ 'Cause it would
be all right ♪
1960
01:17:23,968 --> 01:17:25,855
- Hey.
- Sweetie.
1961
01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:26,868
Having a good time?
1962
01:17:26,944 --> 01:17:27,991
Uh, no, not really.
1963
01:17:28,064 --> 01:17:29,340
No?
1964
01:17:29,408 --> 01:17:31,797
Hey, listen, sweetie, did you
tell your mother I'm pregnant?
1965
01:17:31,871 --> 01:17:33,694
Because she keeps touching
my stomach
1966
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,167
and
smiling like that.
1967
01:17:35,232 --> 01:17:37,720
Yeah. No, I didn't tell her.
She just, she guessed.
1968
01:17:37,791 --> 01:17:38,904
She what?
1969
01:17:38,976 --> 01:17:40,220
Yeah, and then
she told my dad.
1970
01:17:40,288 --> 01:17:41,368
Oh, my God.
1971
01:17:42,112 --> 01:17:43,999
Stop it, Bernie.
Bernie, stop.
1972
01:17:44,576 --> 01:17:45,786
It's not funny.
1973
01:17:45,888 --> 01:17:47,065
I told my mom.
1974
01:17:47,135 --> 01:17:48,063
What?
1975
01:17:48,127 --> 01:17:49,142
Yeah.
1976
01:17:49,216 --> 01:17:50,198
What?
Why'd you...
1977
01:17:50,271 --> 01:17:51,613
Your dad
will definitely find out.
1978
01:17:51,679 --> 01:17:53,534
She knows my dad.
She'd never say a word.
1979
01:17:53,599 --> 01:17:55,192
No, no.
But he's very suspicious.
1980
01:17:55,263 --> 01:17:56,540
- Greg. Hi.
- Hey.
1981
01:17:56,608 --> 01:17:59,325
Hi. Honey, would you take this
to your mother?
1982
01:17:59,392 --> 01:18:00,821
It's a wine spritzer.
1983
01:18:00,896 --> 01:18:02,270
That's all she drinks now.
1984
01:18:03,168 --> 01:18:05,142
You boys have fun.
1985
01:18:09,151 --> 01:18:10,842
Nice.
Nice party.
1986
01:18:10,912 --> 01:18:12,570
- Isn't it?
- Yeah, it is. It's nice.
1987
01:18:12,639 --> 01:18:15,006
It's got a nice festive vibe.
1988
01:18:15,808 --> 01:18:17,979
You met some of the, uh,
some of the cousins?
1989
01:18:18,047 --> 01:18:20,382
I met some. Yes.
I met some, um...
1990
01:18:21,535 --> 01:18:22,550
Dom.
1991
01:18:22,624 --> 01:18:23,606
Yeah, Dom Focker.
1992
01:18:23,680 --> 01:18:25,622
That's my dad's, uh,
first cousin.
1993
01:18:25,727 --> 01:18:27,996
Did you meet his kids,
Randy and Horny?
1994
01:18:28,703 --> 01:18:31,485
- I've met Randy and Horny.
- Yes.
1995
01:18:31,551 --> 01:18:33,406
Come on.
I want to introduce you to somebody.
1996
01:18:33,471 --> 01:18:34,420
Come on.
1997
01:18:36,287 --> 01:18:37,564
Oh, there he is.
1998
01:18:38,336 --> 01:18:40,124
Glad you could
make it, Jorge.
1999
01:18:40,191 --> 01:18:43,323
Oh, hey,
thanks for the invite, Mr. B.
2000
01:18:43,392 --> 01:18:46,207
Greg,
this is Jorge Villalobos.
2001
01:18:46,272 --> 01:18:47,319
Hey.
2002
01:18:47,392 --> 01:18:48,374
Hey, how you doing?
2003
01:18:48,448 --> 01:18:49,975
Isabel's son.
2004
01:18:50,048 --> 01:18:52,797
Oh, I didn't realize
Isabel had a son.
2005
01:18:53,760 --> 01:18:54,938
When did she get married?
2006
01:18:55,008 --> 01:18:56,153
She... she's not married.
2007
01:18:56,224 --> 01:18:58,329
Oh, he's never met
his father.
2008
01:18:59,679 --> 01:19:00,628
Oh.
2009
01:19:01,440 --> 01:19:02,487
I'm sorry.
2010
01:19:02,559 --> 01:19:04,152
That's, I mean,
that's... that's too bad.
2011
01:19:04,223 --> 01:19:05,979
Oh, no, no, it's... it's cool.
2012
01:19:06,047 --> 01:19:08,502
My mom said my dad
wasn't like, mature enough
2013
01:19:08,575 --> 01:19:11,030
to deal with a kid,
anyway, so, yeah.
2014
01:19:11,967 --> 01:19:13,691
So how do you
guys know each other?
2015
01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:16,215
Oh, this young man
is quite the mechanic.
2016
01:19:16,288 --> 01:19:18,841
And he's only 15 years old.
Isn't that impressive?
2017
01:19:18,912 --> 01:19:20,286
Really? You're 15?
2018
01:19:20,351 --> 01:19:22,174
- Yeah.
- That is impressive.
2019
01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:23,934
He's a handsome kid, huh?
2020
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:25,047
Yeah.
2021
01:19:25,120 --> 01:19:28,120
Almost like a young,
half-Hispanic Marlon Brando.
2022
01:19:30,815 --> 01:19:31,764
Well,
2023
01:19:32,223 --> 01:19:34,263
I'll leave
you two guys to talk.
2024
01:19:34,335 --> 01:19:36,375
You probably have
a lot in common.
2025
01:19:43,616 --> 01:19:45,917
Well, hmm.
2026
01:19:46,752 --> 01:19:49,719
So you're 15.
2027
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:13,342
Come on, let's conga.
2028
01:20:13,440 --> 01:20:15,512
Did you order
the Tom Collins, sir?
2029
01:20:15,583 --> 01:20:17,656
Is it made with
fresh lemon juice?
2030
01:20:17,728 --> 01:20:18,972
They're Bermuda lemons, sir.
2031
01:20:19,040 --> 01:20:20,349
And I squeezed them myself.
2032
01:20:23,840 --> 01:20:25,149
Stay safe, Santa.
2033
01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:47,004
I mean,
it's romantic out here,
2034
01:20:47,072 --> 01:20:48,479
don't you think?
2035
01:20:49,056 --> 01:20:50,911
The moon, the sea,
2036
01:20:51,328 --> 01:20:52,310
isn't it nice?
2037
01:20:52,384 --> 01:20:53,660
Yeah, it's nice.
2038
01:20:55,935 --> 01:20:58,139
You look very handsome
tonight, Jack.
2039
01:20:58,207 --> 01:20:59,963
Oh.
Thank you, honey.
2040
01:21:03,967 --> 01:21:05,789
What are you
doing to my ears?
2041
01:21:06,751 --> 01:21:08,028
Nothing.
2042
01:21:12,128 --> 01:21:13,076
Hey!
2043
01:21:13,696 --> 01:21:15,899
I have to go to the bathroom,
I'll be right back.
2044
01:21:15,968 --> 01:21:17,244
Okay.
2045
01:21:25,920 --> 01:21:26,999
Hello, Greg.
2046
01:21:27,071 --> 01:21:28,053
Hi, Jack.
2047
01:21:31,775 --> 01:21:33,085
Did you have
a nice conversation
2048
01:21:33,152 --> 01:21:34,581
with your son?
2049
01:21:34,911 --> 01:21:37,300
Jack, I've never even met
that kid before.
2050
01:21:37,983 --> 01:21:40,700
Focker, you've been covering
this up from the very beginning.
2051
01:21:40,767 --> 01:21:42,196
No, I haven't, Jack.
2052
01:21:42,271 --> 01:21:44,693
It's just another one
of your crazy theories.
2053
01:21:44,768 --> 01:21:45,716
Greg.
2054
01:21:46,048 --> 01:21:47,575
You're still in
the circle of trust,
2055
01:21:47,648 --> 01:21:49,949
so I'm gonna give you
one more chance.
2056
01:21:50,271 --> 01:21:51,798
Are you ready to admit
2057
01:21:51,871 --> 01:21:54,108
that you've been hiding this
from Pam?
2058
01:21:54,176 --> 01:21:55,605
No, I haven't.
2059
01:21:55,680 --> 01:21:56,857
You're not hiding anything?
2060
01:21:56,927 --> 01:21:58,902
No, all right?
2061
01:21:59,392 --> 01:22:00,821
Oh, Greg.
2062
01:22:03,328 --> 01:22:05,979
What are you holding?
What's in your hand?
2063
01:22:06,048 --> 01:22:06,996
Nothing.
2064
01:22:07,072 --> 01:22:08,927
Jack, I can see it
in the mirror. What is it?
2065
01:22:08,992 --> 01:22:10,301
You got something
in your hand.
2066
01:22:10,367 --> 01:22:11,709
Don't worry about it, Greg.
2067
01:22:11,775 --> 01:22:13,084
Is that a needle?
2068
01:22:13,280 --> 01:22:14,774
Yes, it is.
2069
01:22:15,871 --> 01:22:16,951
You seem tense.
2070
01:22:17,024 --> 01:22:18,584
I was going to
offer you a sedative.
2071
01:22:19,584 --> 01:22:20,729
You're joking, right?
2072
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:21,912
No, I'm not.
2073
01:22:23,455 --> 01:22:24,633
Jack.
2074
01:22:24,704 --> 01:22:26,460
Is that tartar sauce
on your shoulder?
2075
01:22:26,527 --> 01:22:27,574
Tartar sauce?
2076
01:22:31,520 --> 01:22:32,600
Why?
2077
01:22:33,759 --> 01:22:34,970
You've been injected
2078
01:22:35,040 --> 01:22:37,145
with a highly concentrated
dose of sodium pentothal.
2079
01:22:37,216 --> 01:22:38,525
Street name: Truth serum.
2080
01:22:38,592 --> 01:22:40,414
You won't recall this
in a few minutes
2081
01:22:40,479 --> 01:22:42,268
and tonight,
for the first time in your life,
2082
01:22:42,336 --> 01:22:43,383
my young friend,
2083
01:22:43,455 --> 01:22:45,430
you are going to be honest.
2084
01:22:47,551 --> 01:22:49,177
Keep the pressure on it.
2085
01:22:49,664 --> 01:22:51,900
Get down, Little Jack.
Get funky.
2086
01:22:55,327 --> 01:22:56,276
Oh.
2087
01:22:56,480 --> 01:22:57,462
Hey there, preggers.
2088
01:22:57,536 --> 01:22:58,518
Quiet.
2089
01:22:58,592 --> 01:22:59,672
How're you doin'?
2090
01:22:59,743 --> 01:23:00,692
Fine, where've you been?
2091
01:23:00,768 --> 01:23:04,477
I went to the bathroom to pee
and now I'm talking to you,
2092
01:23:04,543 --> 01:23:06,932
my fiancée, who I've delayed
marrying for two years
2093
01:23:07,007 --> 01:23:09,276
because I didn't want
our parents to meet.
2094
01:23:10,591 --> 01:23:11,573
What?
2095
01:23:11,647 --> 01:23:12,596
What?
2096
01:23:13,119 --> 01:23:14,232
What?
2097
01:23:14,591 --> 01:23:16,315
You don't like me?
It's okay.
2098
01:23:16,384 --> 01:23:18,239
I don't like your
little red outfit.
2099
01:23:18,304 --> 01:23:20,278
Makes you look
like a little demon-baby.
2100
01:23:20,351 --> 01:23:21,529
Maybe I'll get you
2101
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,127
a little pitchfork
for Christmas, huh,
2102
01:23:23,200 --> 01:23:25,087
so we can put you
on a can of Underwood ham.
2103
01:23:25,151 --> 01:23:27,606
I'm sorry that I can't make
little "poop" sounds
2104
01:23:27,679 --> 01:23:29,621
and I can't make
little things
2105
01:23:29,695 --> 01:23:31,583
that tell people
when I wanna do things.
2106
01:23:31,648 --> 01:23:32,892
And guess what?
2107
01:23:32,960 --> 01:23:34,204
I can make
a sign to you, too.
2108
01:23:34,272 --> 01:23:35,799
How's that for a sign?
2109
01:23:38,912 --> 01:23:41,148
Uh-oh. Look, Bernie's gone up
on the stage. Come.
2110
01:23:41,215 --> 01:23:43,517
Now, to say a few words,
2111
01:23:43,583 --> 01:23:47,958
one of the great
registered nurses of all time,
2112
01:23:48,031 --> 01:23:49,755
Gaylord Myron Focker.
2113
01:23:50,911 --> 01:23:52,188
Come on,
let's give it up to Gay.
2114
01:23:52,256 --> 01:23:53,663
Give it up to him.
2115
01:23:57,664 --> 01:24:00,446
Bernie Focker!
2116
01:24:00,511 --> 01:24:02,748
I love the shirt, Dad.
2117
01:24:03,391 --> 01:24:05,846
Thank you. All right.
2118
01:24:06,208 --> 01:24:08,347
It's great to be here
with all of you
2119
01:24:08,416 --> 01:24:11,961
as I am about to set sail
2120
01:24:12,031 --> 01:24:14,071
in my ship of life,
2121
01:24:14,144 --> 01:24:16,119
with my first mate,
2122
01:24:16,191 --> 01:24:18,330
the beautiful young
blonde lass over there.
2123
01:24:18,399 --> 01:24:19,348
Hey, baby.
2124
01:24:20,192 --> 01:24:21,501
I love you, honey.
2125
01:24:24,960 --> 01:24:26,170
I still masturbate to Pam.
2126
01:24:27,295 --> 01:24:28,277
Greg.
2127
01:24:28,351 --> 01:24:29,300
What? It's true.
2128
01:24:29,375 --> 01:24:30,717
Honey, what?
Come on, you're hot.
2129
01:24:30,783 --> 01:24:31,994
Look at her.
2130
01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:33,948
Look at those boobs. Man!
2131
01:24:34,431 --> 01:24:35,773
I just wanna...
2132
01:24:35,839 --> 01:24:37,847
I just wanna lather them up
with soap and just...
2133
01:24:39,136 --> 01:24:40,445
I love it.
2134
01:24:40,512 --> 01:24:42,933
Man, I just wanna... just wanna
nestle in there
2135
01:24:43,071 --> 01:24:45,886
and just take
a little vacation in there.
2136
01:24:46,911 --> 01:24:48,286
Honey.
2137
01:24:48,415 --> 01:24:49,822
Honey, what? I'm sorry.
2138
01:24:49,887 --> 01:24:52,091
Okay, excuse me
for you being perfect.
2139
01:24:52,159 --> 01:24:53,566
Hey, you know
who else is great?
2140
01:24:53,696 --> 01:24:55,125
That woman over there.
2141
01:24:55,200 --> 01:24:57,850
My future mother-in-law,
Dina Byrnes.
2142
01:24:58,175 --> 01:24:59,582
♪ Dina, Dina, fofina ♪
2143
01:24:59,648 --> 01:25:01,174
♪ Banana fana fofina ♪
2144
01:25:01,247 --> 01:25:03,451
♪ I love Di-Di-Dina ♪
2145
01:25:03,519 --> 01:25:05,145
♪ Byrnes ♪
2146
01:25:06,016 --> 01:25:07,739
You know, they say
if you really wanna know
2147
01:25:07,807 --> 01:25:08,920
what a woman
will look like
2148
01:25:08,991 --> 01:25:11,130
when she gets older,
you should look at her mother.
2149
01:25:11,199 --> 01:25:14,134
Well, I'm a lookin'
and I'm a likin'.
2150
01:25:15,711 --> 01:25:17,534
Look at her! Sweetness!
2151
01:25:20,095 --> 01:25:22,616
Good genes,
the Byrnes gene pool.
2152
01:25:24,064 --> 01:25:25,438
Hey, hey, you.
2153
01:25:25,920 --> 01:25:27,065
Yeah, you.
2154
01:25:27,167 --> 01:25:28,116
Hold on.
2155
01:25:28,191 --> 01:25:29,566
Pam,
I gotta tell you something
2156
01:25:29,632 --> 01:25:31,999
about... about this little
dude right here.
2157
01:25:32,256 --> 01:25:35,868
In my first really passionate
sexual awakening,
2158
01:25:35,967 --> 01:25:38,302
I did,
in fact, lose my virginity
2159
01:25:38,431 --> 01:25:40,733
to our beautiful housekeeper,
Isabel.
2160
01:25:40,800 --> 01:25:42,207
Greg, honey,
that was in the past.
2161
01:25:42,271 --> 01:25:43,481
So why don't
you come sit down?
2162
01:25:43,551 --> 01:25:45,973
No, no, honey, 'cause I have
to get this off my chest, really.
2163
01:25:46,048 --> 01:25:47,258
Sit.
2164
01:25:49,440 --> 01:25:50,684
We conceived a child.
2165
01:25:53,439 --> 01:25:55,097
And his name is
Jorge Villalobos.
2166
01:25:55,167 --> 01:25:56,826
Come up here, Jorge.
Come up here.
2167
01:25:57,760 --> 01:25:59,800
Let's lift
the veil of mystery.
2168
01:26:00,192 --> 01:26:02,777
The fruit of my loins
is right here.
2169
01:26:03,199 --> 01:26:05,785
Everybody take a look.
See his face.
2170
01:26:06,271 --> 01:26:07,318
He's mine.
2171
01:26:07,808 --> 01:26:09,782
Search your feelings, Jorge.
2172
01:26:09,919 --> 01:26:11,480
You know it to be true.
2173
01:26:20,127 --> 01:26:21,207
It's okay.
I know.
2174
01:26:21,279 --> 01:26:22,773
I know.
Lot of information.
2175
01:26:22,847 --> 01:26:23,895
You let it settle.
2176
01:26:23,967 --> 01:26:24,949
Who'd have thunk it, huh?
2177
01:26:25,023 --> 01:26:26,878
Come on,
give that kid a hand.
2178
01:26:28,671 --> 01:26:30,526
Oh, and, uh, Jack?
2179
01:26:31,680 --> 01:26:32,924
Pam's pregnant.
2180
01:26:35,391 --> 01:26:37,050
Focker out.
2181
01:27:09,824 --> 01:27:10,772
Hey.
2182
01:27:10,847 --> 01:27:11,796
Hey.
2183
01:27:11,936 --> 01:27:13,659
What happened last night?
2184
01:27:14,560 --> 01:27:17,527
Well, you got drunk
and told my dad I'm pregnant.
2185
01:27:17,600 --> 01:27:18,810
You revealed you have
2186
01:27:18,879 --> 01:27:20,603
a 15-year-old son
named Jorge.
2187
01:27:20,672 --> 01:27:23,127
And, oh, apparently
you have the hots for my mom.
2188
01:27:23,456 --> 01:27:24,633
Oh, my God.
2189
01:27:25,311 --> 01:27:26,621
I... I...
2190
01:27:26,688 --> 01:27:28,248
You mean,
is that really true?
2191
01:27:28,895 --> 01:27:30,324
I think she's attractive.
2192
01:27:30,399 --> 01:27:33,530
No, that you have a son
you never told me about.
2193
01:27:34,495 --> 01:27:35,870
I... Honey, if it is,
2194
01:27:35,936 --> 01:27:38,172
I never heard about it
before last night.
2195
01:27:38,239 --> 01:27:40,574
Isabel never
said anything to me. I... I...
2196
01:27:40,703 --> 01:27:41,881
I mean.
2197
01:27:42,208 --> 01:27:44,575
I don't even
remember drinking.
2198
01:27:44,640 --> 01:27:46,549
You're telling me the truth,
aren't you?
2199
01:27:46,623 --> 01:27:48,281
Of course, I am.
Pam,
2200
01:27:48,447 --> 01:27:49,527
I love you.
2201
01:27:49,599 --> 01:27:51,966
I would never lie to you
about anything like that.
2202
01:27:56,352 --> 01:27:57,726
I love you, too.
2203
01:27:57,887 --> 01:27:59,895
And if Jorge
really is your son,
2204
01:28:00,575 --> 01:28:02,234
then we will make it work.
2205
01:28:03,616 --> 01:28:04,728
Okay.
2206
01:28:04,832 --> 01:28:06,293
I...
2207
01:28:08,511 --> 01:28:11,228
Hey, how did your dad react
to the pregnancy news?
2208
01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:12,538
Well,
2209
01:28:13,536 --> 01:28:14,997
just as you'd expect.
2210
01:28:15,583 --> 01:28:17,012
He slept in the RV.
2211
01:28:17,087 --> 01:28:19,062
He hasn't spoken
to anyone since last night.
2212
01:28:21,760 --> 01:28:23,702
Pam,
we have to leave this island.
2213
01:28:23,776 --> 01:28:25,598
Get in the RV right now.
2214
01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:27,899
Bernard, get out
from under the vehicle
2215
01:28:27,968 --> 01:28:29,397
or I will run you over.
2216
01:28:29,471 --> 01:28:30,715
I'm not moving, Jack.
2217
01:28:30,783 --> 01:28:32,507
There's a non-violent way
to handle this.
2218
01:28:32,576 --> 01:28:33,524
What's going on?
2219
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:34,909
Well, your father
wants to leave,
2220
01:28:34,975 --> 01:28:36,502
and Bernie is staging
a sit-in.
2221
01:28:36,576 --> 01:28:37,656
Dad, come on, get up.
2222
01:28:37,728 --> 01:28:38,742
This is ridiculous.
2223
01:28:38,815 --> 01:28:40,441
You weren't around
in the '60s, man.
2224
01:28:40,512 --> 01:28:42,105
This is how
we got things done.
2225
01:28:42,176 --> 01:28:45,656
Pam, Dina, we have to get
off this island. It's evil.
2226
01:28:45,727 --> 01:28:47,669
Jack Byrnes, out of the RV.
2227
01:28:47,744 --> 01:28:49,631
You are acting
like such a jerk.
2228
01:28:54,464 --> 01:28:56,603
Yes, there you go.
2229
01:28:56,703 --> 01:28:58,197
Jacko!
Yes.
2230
01:28:58,336 --> 01:28:59,862
Man, we're gonna
have a grandchild.
2231
01:28:59,935 --> 01:29:01,429
Come on,
we should be celebrating.
2232
01:29:01,503 --> 01:29:02,965
How could you not see it?
2233
01:29:03,040 --> 01:29:05,276
Greg is completely unfit
to handle a child.
2234
01:29:05,343 --> 01:29:07,416
He's neglected his own son
for 15 years.
2235
01:29:07,488 --> 01:29:09,146
Hey, Jack, I didn't even know
he existed.
2236
01:29:09,216 --> 01:29:10,198
That's right.
2237
01:29:10,272 --> 01:29:11,679
Who knows what to believe
with you?
2238
01:29:11,744 --> 01:29:13,118
You're dishonest
about everything.
2239
01:29:13,183 --> 01:29:15,900
You're so much better, Jack?
Why don't you tell everybody
2240
01:29:15,968 --> 01:29:17,822
what you did last night
to Greg at the party.
2241
01:29:17,888 --> 01:29:18,902
Muskrat, Dina.
2242
01:29:18,975 --> 01:29:20,764
Oh, stuff
your muskrat, Jack.
2243
01:29:21,247 --> 01:29:24,313
He shot Greg with truth serum
before his speech.
2244
01:29:24,383 --> 01:29:25,430
What?
2245
01:29:25,503 --> 01:29:27,064
Yeah,
I found this in his pocket.
2246
01:29:27,136 --> 01:29:28,630
Here we go again, Dad.
2247
01:29:28,704 --> 01:29:31,486
He did the same thing
to Pam's junior prom date.
2248
01:29:31,552 --> 01:29:33,145
Wait a minute.
Yes, yes. Wait a minute.
2249
01:29:33,216 --> 01:29:34,394
You stuck a needle in my neck.
2250
01:29:34,464 --> 01:29:35,958
You drugged my son?
2251
01:29:36,192 --> 01:29:38,745
I had no choice.
He refuses to tell the truth.
2252
01:29:38,816 --> 01:29:40,026
Because he's terrified,
2253
01:29:40,095 --> 01:29:41,557
and he thinks
he has to impress you.
2254
01:29:41,631 --> 01:29:43,126
He's had us
trying to impress you,
2255
01:29:43,200 --> 01:29:44,182
but in my opinion,
2256
01:29:44,255 --> 01:29:45,466
Jack, I think it's you
2257
01:29:45,536 --> 01:29:46,943
who should be
trying to impress us.
2258
01:29:47,008 --> 01:29:48,350
Jack.
2259
01:29:48,416 --> 01:29:50,488
You've insulted me,
my wife, my son,
2260
01:29:50,559 --> 01:29:51,988
our entire way of life.
2261
01:29:52,064 --> 01:29:54,039
I've sat back and taken it.
But now,
2262
01:29:54,111 --> 01:29:55,704
you've crossed the line, sir.
2263
01:29:55,775 --> 01:29:57,783
And I'm gonna have
to kick your ass.
2264
01:29:57,856 --> 01:29:59,350
Dad, dad, wait a second.
2265
01:29:59,424 --> 01:30:02,423
I'm gonna teach this florist
some justice, Focker-style.
2266
01:30:02,495 --> 01:30:03,706
Just calm down.
2267
01:30:03,776 --> 01:30:05,085
Just give me
a minute to stretch.
2268
01:30:05,152 --> 01:30:06,810
Bernie,
you're gonna hurt yourself.
2269
01:30:06,879 --> 01:30:08,603
We can talk this through.
2270
01:30:08,672 --> 01:30:10,013
It's too late for words,
Rosalind.
2271
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:11,290
Dad, Dad, no, no,
2272
01:30:11,360 --> 01:30:12,702
please,
no dance fighting. Stop!
2273
01:30:12,768 --> 01:30:13,913
This is Capoeira, man.
2274
01:30:13,984 --> 01:30:15,064
This is hardcore shit.
2275
01:30:15,136 --> 01:30:16,958
Bernard, if you continue,
2276
01:30:17,056 --> 01:30:18,517
you will force
me to engage you.
2277
01:30:18,592 --> 01:30:20,348
And once I begin
the sequence of combat,
2278
01:30:20,415 --> 01:30:22,041
it can only end
with your demise.
2279
01:30:22,112 --> 01:30:24,599
Bring it, dog. Come on.
Bring it. Come on.
2280
01:30:24,671 --> 01:30:25,686
He's taunting me.
2281
01:30:25,760 --> 01:30:26,840
Dad.
2282
01:30:26,912 --> 01:30:27,860
Greg!
Greg!
2283
01:30:27,936 --> 01:30:29,692
What, Bernie,
you're gonna snap now?
2284
01:30:30,271 --> 01:30:31,318
Greg!
2285
01:30:31,391 --> 01:30:32,285
What?
2286
01:30:33,728 --> 01:30:35,386
Now look what you did.
2287
01:30:35,456 --> 01:30:36,863
It's your fault.
2288
01:30:36,928 --> 01:30:38,357
He's bleeding.
He's bleeding, Daddy.
2289
01:30:38,432 --> 01:30:39,992
That's it. Pam, Dina,
2290
01:30:40,064 --> 01:30:41,373
I'm calling
a family conference.
2291
01:30:41,439 --> 01:30:42,486
Come on.
2292
01:30:42,559 --> 01:30:43,672
No, Dad, this is the family.
2293
01:30:43,744 --> 01:30:46,013
All right? In a few weeks,
I'm not gonna be Pam Byrnes.
2294
01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:47,389
I'm gonna be Pamela Focker.
2295
01:30:47,455 --> 01:30:48,666
Or Byrnes-Focker.
2296
01:30:48,736 --> 01:30:49,913
We haven't
totally decided yet.
2297
01:30:49,983 --> 01:30:52,088
No, no, no, I'm gonna be
Pamela Martha Focker.
2298
01:30:52,159 --> 01:30:53,588
I know how that sounds,
2299
01:30:53,663 --> 01:30:55,092
but... but that's
the name I'm taking.
2300
01:30:55,168 --> 01:30:56,924
Pamcake, you're upset.
I'm not so sure
2301
01:30:56,992 --> 01:30:58,552
you're thinking
clearly right now.
2302
01:30:58,623 --> 01:30:59,572
I'm trying, Dad.
2303
01:30:59,648 --> 01:31:01,142
It's you who
is not thinking clearly.
2304
01:31:01,216 --> 01:31:03,125
These two kids
love each other. Look.
2305
01:31:03,200 --> 01:31:06,299
We've been kvelling about
this pregnancy all weekend.
2306
01:31:06,624 --> 01:31:08,282
You knew she was pregnant?
2307
01:31:08,544 --> 01:31:10,234
We all did, Jack.
2308
01:31:12,000 --> 01:31:14,935
Daddy, I was gonna tell you
after the wedding, I swear.
2309
01:31:17,023 --> 01:31:19,260
This is the reason I created
the circle of trust
2310
01:31:19,327 --> 01:31:21,564
so we could
discuss these things.
2311
01:31:21,919 --> 01:31:23,326
The circle isn't gonna work
2312
01:31:23,391 --> 01:31:25,847
if you don't trust
anyone that's in it, Dad.
2313
01:31:32,288 --> 01:31:33,302
Dad.
2314
01:31:33,375 --> 01:31:34,390
Jack, don't.
2315
01:31:34,464 --> 01:31:36,602
No, Dad.
Daddy.
2316
01:31:36,671 --> 01:31:37,620
Honey.
2317
01:31:37,920 --> 01:31:39,643
Daddy, please.
Daddy, where are you going?
2318
01:31:39,711 --> 01:31:41,206
Jack. Come on.
2319
01:31:46,048 --> 01:31:48,382
Daddy, come back, please.
2320
01:31:54,176 --> 01:31:56,445
This is nicht gut.
2321
01:32:11,583 --> 01:32:12,598
Is it ringing?
2322
01:32:12,672 --> 01:32:13,686
There's no answer.
2323
01:32:13,759 --> 01:32:15,286
Well, let's give him
some space.
2324
01:32:15,360 --> 01:32:16,822
Maybe he's learning
to self-soothe.
2325
01:32:16,895 --> 01:32:18,139
- Roz.
- What?
2326
01:32:18,207 --> 01:32:19,833
This is crazy. I'm going.
2327
01:32:19,904 --> 01:32:20,951
I'm coming with you, Son.
2328
01:32:21,023 --> 01:32:22,103
No, Dad, I can do it myself.
2329
01:32:22,176 --> 01:32:23,899
We gotta make up time.
I know these roads
2330
01:32:23,967 --> 01:32:25,756
like the back
of my hand.
2331
01:32:27,008 --> 01:32:29,528
Come on, let's put
this family back together.
2332
01:32:30,367 --> 01:32:32,440
Dad, I know a shortcut.
2333
01:32:32,511 --> 01:32:34,551
It will lead us
to the freeway.
2334
01:32:35,520 --> 01:32:38,586
I think you make
a right up here or a left.
2335
01:32:38,655 --> 01:32:40,411
It's either one or the other.
2336
01:32:40,479 --> 01:32:41,941
You don't know
where we are, do you?
2337
01:32:42,016 --> 01:32:43,292
You know,
something's wrong here.
2338
01:32:43,359 --> 01:32:44,603
This makes no sense at all.
2339
01:32:44,671 --> 01:32:46,395
Dad, it's a map of Detroit.
2340
01:32:46,464 --> 01:32:48,057
Oh, well, that explains it.
2341
01:32:48,128 --> 01:32:49,207
Dad.
2342
01:32:49,279 --> 01:32:50,327
Punch it, Gay.
2343
01:32:50,400 --> 01:32:51,479
We gotta catch that dude.
2344
01:32:55,264 --> 01:32:56,278
Oh, shit.
2345
01:32:56,351 --> 01:32:57,726
Come on.
Come on. Keep going.
2346
01:32:57,792 --> 01:32:59,996
Dad, come on, it's a cop.
2347
01:33:00,064 --> 01:33:02,235
Listen carefully.
Let me do the talking.
2348
01:33:02,303 --> 01:33:04,027
I know how to handle
the local cops.
2349
01:33:04,096 --> 01:33:05,339
No, don't... don't
do any talking.
2350
01:33:05,408 --> 01:33:06,487
Don't shush me,
I'm a lawyer.
2351
01:33:06,559 --> 01:33:07,508
I'm not shushing you.
2352
01:33:07,584 --> 01:33:09,656
You know how many tickets
I've talked myself out of?
2353
01:33:09,727 --> 01:33:11,134
Oh, wow.
Will you look at this guy.
2354
01:33:11,199 --> 01:33:12,628
Don't they have
height requirements?
2355
01:33:12,704 --> 01:33:14,111
- We're screwed.
- No, we're not.
2356
01:33:14,175 --> 01:33:16,379
Don't. Don't, Dad, he said
to remain in the vehicle.
2357
01:33:17,760 --> 01:33:20,826
Sir, I said to remain
in your vehicle.
2358
01:33:20,895 --> 01:33:22,837
I just wanna talk to you
for one second.
2359
01:33:22,912 --> 01:33:24,984
Let's just talk
like friendly Floridians.
2360
01:33:25,055 --> 01:33:26,714
If you fail to comply,
I will arrest you.
2361
01:33:26,784 --> 01:33:28,344
You see, my son's future
father-in-law
2362
01:33:28,416 --> 01:33:30,172
thinks my Gay back there
has a bastard son.
2363
01:33:30,240 --> 01:33:31,222
I said shut it.
2364
01:33:31,296 --> 01:33:32,278
Shut it.
2365
01:33:32,352 --> 01:33:33,879
I know my civil rights now.
2366
01:33:33,951 --> 01:33:35,512
You know your rights? Huh?
2367
01:33:35,584 --> 01:33:36,631
Oh!
2368
01:33:36,704 --> 01:33:37,980
I have sensitive wrists.
2369
01:33:38,048 --> 01:33:39,030
Excuse me.
2370
01:33:39,103 --> 01:33:40,565
Sir, return to your vehicle.
2371
01:33:40,640 --> 01:33:42,014
I don't know
what he said, but...
2372
01:33:42,079 --> 01:33:43,421
That's it.
On your belly.
2373
01:33:43,487 --> 01:33:44,502
On my belly?
2374
01:33:44,576 --> 01:33:45,558
You got a hearing problem?
2375
01:33:45,632 --> 01:33:46,712
No, I'm just trying to say...
2376
01:33:46,783 --> 01:33:49,402
Now we have two failures
to comply.
2377
01:33:49,792 --> 01:33:52,214
Now, I need the two of you
2378
01:33:52,287 --> 01:33:55,484
to remain on the vehicle.
2379
01:33:58,495 --> 01:34:00,917
Okay, now here's my plan.
2380
01:34:00,992 --> 01:34:02,006
Plan?
2381
01:34:02,079 --> 01:34:03,192
Dad, no.
2382
01:34:03,264 --> 01:34:04,693
That was just a joke.
2383
01:34:06,496 --> 01:34:07,739
I'm sorry.
2384
01:34:08,032 --> 01:34:10,749
I was... I was just trying
to help you, Gay.
2385
01:34:10,815 --> 01:34:12,244
I know, Dad.
2386
01:34:12,383 --> 01:34:13,845
You're always trying to help.
2387
01:34:19,359 --> 01:34:20,374
Talk to me, Marty.
2388
01:34:20,448 --> 01:34:22,357
What's the intel
on Operation Living Skeleton?
2389
01:34:22,432 --> 01:34:24,799
Focker is not
the kid's father, Jack.
2390
01:34:24,896 --> 01:34:26,073
Are you kidding me?
2391
01:34:26,143 --> 01:34:27,802
I was sure I had that pegged.
2392
01:34:27,968 --> 01:34:29,942
I'm sending you
a visual uplink now.
2393
01:34:30,015 --> 01:34:33,049
The dad was a minor-league
Florida ball player.
2394
01:34:33,120 --> 01:34:35,192
His name is Rusty Bridges.
2395
01:34:37,280 --> 01:34:38,654
We all make mistakes, Santa.
2396
01:34:38,784 --> 01:34:40,191
Foxtrot One out.
2397
01:34:49,664 --> 01:34:51,322
34 years spent reading
other people
2398
01:34:51,391 --> 01:34:52,885
and I get it all wrong.
2399
01:34:52,959 --> 01:34:53,974
My own wife,
2400
01:34:54,048 --> 01:34:55,836
I don't even know
what she's thinking.
2401
01:34:55,903 --> 01:34:57,813
My daughter keeps
secrets from me.
2402
01:34:58,463 --> 01:35:00,121
Sometimes I think
you're the only person
2403
01:35:00,191 --> 01:35:01,882
I can really talk to, L.J.
2404
01:35:03,136 --> 01:35:05,786
Asshole.
2405
01:35:11,647 --> 01:35:13,141
I know.
2406
01:35:29,183 --> 01:35:32,532
F-O-C-K-E-R.
2407
01:35:32,927 --> 01:35:33,876
Hey, it's Jack.
2408
01:35:33,951 --> 01:35:34,879
Hey, Jack.
2409
01:35:36,032 --> 01:35:37,014
Wait!
2410
01:35:37,088 --> 01:35:38,070
Jack!
2411
01:35:38,143 --> 01:35:39,223
Jack.
2412
01:35:39,295 --> 01:35:40,343
Halt.
2413
01:35:40,415 --> 01:35:41,626
Jack.
2414
01:35:42,208 --> 01:35:43,833
Jack. Jack.
2415
01:35:44,255 --> 01:35:45,630
Weaver stance!
2416
01:35:48,576 --> 01:35:50,551
Oh, my God.
You shot my son.
2417
01:35:50,623 --> 01:35:51,703
Halt.
2418
01:35:51,775 --> 01:35:53,302
Your son has merely
been stunned
2419
01:35:53,376 --> 01:35:55,132
by a less than lethal weapon.
2420
01:35:58,080 --> 01:35:59,225
Remain calm.
2421
01:35:59,392 --> 01:36:01,628
50,000 volts of electricity
are now passing
2422
01:36:01,696 --> 01:36:03,670
into your skeletal
muscle tissue.
2423
01:36:03,743 --> 01:36:06,077
Your central nervous system
has been incapacitated
2424
01:36:06,144 --> 01:36:09,177
but you will regain
motor functions momentarily.
2425
01:36:12,928 --> 01:36:14,455
Officer,
do you mind telling me
2426
01:36:14,528 --> 01:36:15,902
why you're arresting
these men?
2427
01:36:15,967 --> 01:36:19,196
Oh, mercy, it just gets
better and better.
2428
01:36:19,296 --> 01:36:22,045
That is none of your business,
looky-loo.
2429
01:36:22,112 --> 01:36:23,638
Return to your camper.
2430
01:36:23,711 --> 01:36:25,206
At ease, son.
Put away the Taser.
2431
01:36:25,279 --> 01:36:26,523
Jack Byrnes, CIA.
2432
01:36:26,656 --> 01:36:27,899
C-I what?
2433
01:36:28,863 --> 01:36:30,489
Says here you're retired.
2434
01:36:30,591 --> 01:36:34,388
What'll you show me next,
old-timer, your AARP card?
2435
01:36:34,560 --> 01:36:36,382
Now, you listen to me,
and you listen good.
2436
01:36:36,447 --> 01:36:37,396
What's he doing?
2437
01:36:37,472 --> 01:36:39,414
Don't worry,
he'll get us out of this.
2438
01:36:39,488 --> 01:36:40,436
You have no right to...
2439
01:36:40,512 --> 01:36:41,526
Stand down, sir.
2440
01:36:41,599 --> 01:36:43,509
No, I will not stand down.
You will stand down.
2441
01:36:43,584 --> 01:36:44,729
I will not stand down.
2442
01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:45,847
You will stand down
2443
01:36:45,920 --> 01:36:47,164
or you will be
working security
2444
01:36:47,232 --> 01:36:48,661
in a retirement home
in Point Beach.
2445
01:36:48,736 --> 01:36:50,045
Remain calm.
2446
01:36:51,072 --> 01:36:52,316
It's been almost an hour.
2447
01:36:52,384 --> 01:36:53,758
You think
they caught up with him?
2448
01:36:53,823 --> 01:36:55,165
Sure, sweetheart.
2449
01:36:55,231 --> 01:36:56,376
If I know Bernie,
2450
01:36:56,447 --> 01:36:58,782
they're probably sitting in
a café in Little Havana
2451
01:36:58,848 --> 01:37:01,499
eating chimichangas
and working out their issues.
2452
01:37:10,495 --> 01:37:11,870
Check it out.
2453
01:37:12,352 --> 01:37:14,174
He's got a rubber booby.
2454
01:37:26,911 --> 01:37:28,089
What's going on?
2455
01:37:28,191 --> 01:37:30,363
What's going on?
I was talking to Judge Goldfarb.
2456
01:37:30,432 --> 01:37:31,642
It's done, we're out.
2457
01:37:31,711 --> 01:37:33,173
I thought you
were making a call.
2458
01:37:33,248 --> 01:37:35,255
We don't need it. I ran into
the judge in the hall.
2459
01:37:35,328 --> 01:37:36,310
I took care of everything.
2460
01:37:36,384 --> 01:37:37,496
Yeah, right.
2461
01:37:38,624 --> 01:37:40,053
What're you saying, Jack?
2462
01:37:40,128 --> 01:37:42,102
I'm saying, if you had kept
your mouth shut
2463
01:37:42,175 --> 01:37:44,150
in the first place
we wouldn't be in this mess.
2464
01:37:44,224 --> 01:37:45,401
I'm a lawyer, Jack.
2465
01:37:45,471 --> 01:37:46,748
I'm trying to get us
out of here.
2466
01:37:46,815 --> 01:37:48,822
What'd you do,
give the judge your fondue recipe?
2467
01:37:48,895 --> 01:37:50,805
At least I'm comfortable
enough in my own skin
2468
01:37:50,880 --> 01:37:51,959
to cook for my family.
2469
01:37:52,031 --> 01:37:54,235
When's the last time you gave
your wife breakfast in bed?
2470
01:37:54,303 --> 01:37:56,540
When is the last time
you gave her anything in bed?
2471
01:37:56,608 --> 01:37:57,818
Now you're out
of line, Focker.
2472
01:37:57,887 --> 01:37:59,164
You're out of line, man.
2473
01:37:59,232 --> 01:38:01,020
No, you hurt
my feelings there,
2474
01:38:01,088 --> 01:38:03,160
and there's no reason
to hurt my feelings.
2475
01:38:03,232 --> 01:38:04,890
- Would you guys stop?
- He insulted me.
2476
01:38:04,959 --> 01:38:07,130
Well, this isn't about you,
all right?
2477
01:38:07,327 --> 01:38:08,571
It's not about either of you.
2478
01:38:08,640 --> 01:38:09,916
It's about me and Pam.
2479
01:38:09,984 --> 01:38:12,056
We're getting married.
That's it.
2480
01:38:12,127 --> 01:38:13,982
We're starting
our own circle of trust.
2481
01:38:14,047 --> 01:38:15,902
And guess what?
You're not in it.
2482
01:38:16,512 --> 01:38:19,130
Oh, you can't start a circle of trust.
It's my circle.
2483
01:38:19,200 --> 01:38:21,087
You don't have a patent
on the circle, Jack.
2484
01:38:21,152 --> 01:38:23,573
By the way, you're not even
in your own circle right now.
2485
01:38:23,647 --> 01:38:24,629
That is untrue.
2486
01:38:24,704 --> 01:38:26,559
I say who's in or out
of the circle.
2487
01:38:27,680 --> 01:38:29,752
Well, I'm confused.
Whose circle am I in?
2488
01:38:31,903 --> 01:38:33,213
Nobody's.
2489
01:38:40,639 --> 01:38:42,614
Look,
we're starting a family, okay?
2490
01:38:42,688 --> 01:38:44,149
We're gonna have a baby.
2491
01:38:44,223 --> 01:38:46,111
I have a 15-year-old son.
2492
01:38:46,432 --> 01:38:48,374
You guys gotta put aside
your issues
2493
01:38:48,704 --> 01:38:50,776
and... and
do what's best for us. Okay?
2494
01:38:51,903 --> 01:38:54,140
Greg, Jorge is not your son.
2495
01:38:54,208 --> 01:38:55,190
What?
2496
01:38:55,264 --> 01:38:57,598
I had a comparative
DNA analysis done last night.
2497
01:38:57,663 --> 01:38:59,224
And I made a mistake.
2498
01:38:59,296 --> 01:39:00,856
You made a mistake?
2499
01:39:01,247 --> 01:39:02,808
Yes, I did.
Wait a minute.
2500
01:39:02,880 --> 01:39:04,374
Truth serum, DNA matches.
2501
01:39:04,448 --> 01:39:05,909
Who the hell are you,
Jack Byrnes?
2502
01:39:05,984 --> 01:39:07,544
I'm not really a florist,
Bernard.
2503
01:39:07,615 --> 01:39:09,503
I was in the CIA
for 32 years.
2504
01:39:09,568 --> 01:39:11,423
And I retired
right before I met Greg.
2505
01:39:12,255 --> 01:39:14,394
Oh, sure.
Well, that makes sense.
2506
01:39:14,976 --> 01:39:16,885
♪ Bingo, bango, bongo ♪
2507
01:39:17,696 --> 01:39:20,117
Bernie, what the heck are you
still doing here?
2508
01:39:20,191 --> 01:39:21,140
Ira.
2509
01:39:21,215 --> 01:39:23,223
Open up, let these guys out.
2510
01:39:23,296 --> 01:39:25,434
Judge, what exactly
did he say to you?
2511
01:39:25,503 --> 01:39:27,161
He didn't have
to say anything.
2512
01:39:27,231 --> 01:39:29,141
Dr. Roz saved my marriage.
2513
01:39:29,216 --> 01:39:31,125
I'd do anything
for that woman.
2514
01:39:31,328 --> 01:39:32,734
You tell sugar-pants
2515
01:39:32,800 --> 01:39:34,588
I'll see her in class
next week.
2516
01:39:34,655 --> 01:39:36,117
Will do, Ira. Thanks.
2517
01:39:36,863 --> 01:39:38,172
Well, what can I say?
2518
01:39:38,239 --> 01:39:39,548
I'm married to
a powerful woman.
2519
01:39:39,616 --> 01:39:41,241
- All right, gentlemen. Let's go.
- Excuse me.
2520
01:39:41,311 --> 01:39:42,293
What?
2521
01:39:42,367 --> 01:39:43,447
Can you close the cell door?
2522
01:39:43,520 --> 01:39:45,342
Focker!
You want to remain in the cell?
2523
01:39:45,407 --> 01:39:47,796
We're not done talking yet.
2524
01:39:48,447 --> 01:39:49,462
What?
2525
01:39:50,463 --> 01:39:52,351
So, what do you think, huh?
2526
01:39:52,895 --> 01:39:55,001
Can we work this out or not?
2527
01:39:56,096 --> 01:39:57,044
Okay.
2528
01:39:57,887 --> 01:39:58,836
Jack?
2529
01:39:59,647 --> 01:40:00,792
Uh...
2530
01:40:02,368 --> 01:40:03,546
Good enough.
2531
01:40:03,968 --> 01:40:04,916
All right, then, uh,
2532
01:40:04,992 --> 01:40:06,780
I think Pam and I should...
should get married
2533
01:40:06,848 --> 01:40:07,796
this weekend.
2534
01:40:07,903 --> 01:40:08,852
This weekend?
2535
01:40:08,928 --> 01:40:10,521
Oh, I'm not so sure
that's a good idea.
2536
01:40:10,592 --> 01:40:12,217
You wanna be in the circle
or not, Jack?
2537
01:40:12,287 --> 01:40:13,465
Okay,
we'll do it this weekend.
2538
01:40:13,536 --> 01:40:14,484
Oh, Jack.
2539
01:40:20,575 --> 01:40:23,259
Hey, I think I can get
Judge Ira to marry you guys.
2540
01:40:23,328 --> 01:40:24,440
Oh, I don't think so.
2541
01:40:24,511 --> 01:40:26,005
But if it's all right
with you, Greg,
2542
01:40:26,079 --> 01:40:28,119
I already have
a minister in mind.
2543
01:40:36,608 --> 01:40:39,063
♪ If I were a carpenter ♪
2544
01:40:39,583 --> 01:40:41,950
♪ And you were a lady ♪
2545
01:40:42,688 --> 01:40:44,379
Oh my God, Daddy.
You didn't!
2546
01:40:44,544 --> 01:40:46,911
Meeting Greg made
such an impression on Kevin,
2547
01:40:46,976 --> 01:40:48,918
he spent eight months
in Israel on a kibbutz,
2548
01:40:48,992 --> 01:40:50,453
then he took
an Internet course
2549
01:40:50,527 --> 01:40:52,437
and got ordained
as an inter-faith minister.
2550
01:40:54,367 --> 01:40:56,025
Jack told me you were okay
2551
01:40:56,095 --> 01:40:57,557
with me conducting
the ceremony.
2552
01:40:57,632 --> 01:40:58,712
I hope that's true.
2553
01:40:58,783 --> 01:41:01,020
Yeah, yeah, no,
I think it's great.
2554
01:41:05,183 --> 01:41:07,005
I mean, it is a little weird.
2555
01:41:07,584 --> 01:41:09,209
You listen to me
when I say this.
2556
01:41:09,279 --> 01:41:10,228
Pam and I didn't have
2557
01:41:10,303 --> 01:41:12,343
one-tenth
of the spiritual connection
2558
01:41:12,415 --> 01:41:14,171
that you two obviously share.
2559
01:41:14,239 --> 01:41:16,378
I mean, I look at you both
together and you're beautiful.
2560
01:41:16,447 --> 01:41:18,389
I get it. Okay?
2561
01:41:18,496 --> 01:41:20,154
Okay, thank you, Kevin.
2562
01:41:20,224 --> 01:41:21,468
Thank you, Greg.
2563
01:41:28,895 --> 01:41:31,099
You're gonna be a great mom,
Pamcake.
2564
01:41:33,087 --> 01:41:34,648
Thank you, Daddy.
2565
01:41:58,176 --> 01:42:00,631
And who gives this woman
to this man?
2566
01:42:00,992 --> 01:42:03,839
I do.
Jack Tiberius Byrnes.
2567
01:42:13,759 --> 01:42:14,708
Daddy.
2568
01:42:18,624 --> 01:42:19,933
Sorry, Greg.
2569
01:42:20,288 --> 01:42:22,197
She's all yours now.
2570
01:42:29,663 --> 01:42:30,972
That was sweet, honey.
2571
01:42:31,039 --> 01:42:32,152
Are you all right?
2572
01:42:32,255 --> 01:42:33,597
Shalom, everyone.
2573
01:42:33,663 --> 01:42:35,802
Shalom.
2574
01:42:37,568 --> 01:42:39,673
Which is Hebrew for
"what's going on?"
2575
01:42:41,728 --> 01:42:44,149
Let us begin with
the blessing of the wine.
2576
01:43:00,832 --> 01:43:04,476
Amen.
2577
01:43:10,303 --> 01:43:11,580
- Kevin.
- What?
2578
01:43:11,807 --> 01:43:13,084
Yeah, go ahead.
2579
01:43:15,168 --> 01:43:16,575
♪ Crazy about my baby ♪
2580
01:43:16,640 --> 01:43:19,160
♪ Crazy about my baby
Crazy about my baby ♪
2581
01:43:30,815 --> 01:43:31,961
Well, hi.
2582
01:43:32,031 --> 01:43:33,624
- Rosalind.
- Yeah.
2583
01:43:33,695 --> 01:43:36,183
I just have to say
I underestimated you.
2584
01:43:36,255 --> 01:43:37,335
Oh.
2585
01:43:37,408 --> 01:43:38,717
When it comes to relationships
2586
01:43:38,783 --> 01:43:40,245
I'm starting to see
2587
01:43:40,320 --> 01:43:42,359
that you might actually know
what you're talking about.
2588
01:43:44,384 --> 01:43:45,594
I appreciate that, Jack.
2589
01:43:45,663 --> 01:43:46,808
Really, thank you.
2590
01:43:46,879 --> 01:43:50,175
I also was curious about
the advice you gave Judge Ira.
2591
01:43:51,456 --> 01:43:54,456
Is that classified information?
2592
01:43:54,528 --> 01:43:56,764
I thought you'd never ask.
2593
01:43:56,831 --> 01:43:59,799
I'm gonna give you
a crash course, okay?
2594
01:44:00,448 --> 01:44:01,495
Come here.
2595
01:44:04,159 --> 01:44:05,108
Really?
2596
01:44:10,463 --> 01:44:12,602
And I do that for
how many minutes?
2597
01:44:13,599 --> 01:44:16,796
Hey! There's my brother
from another mother.
2598
01:44:17,824 --> 01:44:19,612
Congratulations, Jacko.
2599
01:44:21,535 --> 01:44:23,096
Put that away, Bernard.
2600
01:44:26,560 --> 01:44:27,989
We're family now.
2601
01:44:32,799 --> 01:44:33,977
We're family.
2602
01:44:34,719 --> 01:44:36,148
Now, if you'll excuse me,
2603
01:44:36,224 --> 01:44:38,428
I have some unfinished business
to take care of.
2604
01:44:38,528 --> 01:44:40,284
♪ I'm crazy about my baby ♪
2605
01:44:40,800 --> 01:44:42,687
♪ I'm crazy about my baby ♪
2606
01:44:42,751 --> 01:44:44,093
Go get her, tiger.
2607
01:44:47,136 --> 01:44:48,925
We Fockerized him.
2608
01:44:48,992 --> 01:44:50,006
Sure did.
2609
01:44:50,079 --> 01:44:51,640
I'd like to Fockerize you.
2610
01:44:51,776 --> 01:44:53,532
♪ Crazy about you baby ♪
2611
01:44:55,104 --> 01:44:56,533
♪ Crazy about you baby ♪
2612
01:44:56,607 --> 01:44:58,517
♪ I know
you're crazy about me ♪
2613
01:45:01,247 --> 01:45:04,411
♪ Who's gonna take
my love away? Nobody ♪
2614
01:45:04,479 --> 01:45:06,934
♪ Who's gonna take my love? ♪
2615
01:45:07,680 --> 01:45:10,167
♪ Who's gonna take
my love away? ♪
2616
01:45:10,432 --> 01:45:13,050
♪ Who's gonna take my love? ♪
2617
01:45:13,119 --> 01:45:15,290
Sweetheart, do we have
to hurry like this?
2618
01:45:15,360 --> 01:45:16,952
Honey,
we're in a covert operation.
2619
01:45:17,023 --> 01:45:18,933
The bandleader
told me we have 23 minutes
2620
01:45:19,008 --> 01:45:20,950
before
they cut the cake.
2621
01:45:26,271 --> 01:45:27,897
Jack, what are you doing?
2622
01:45:28,031 --> 01:45:29,690
Little trick
Bernie taught me.
2623
01:45:29,920 --> 01:45:31,229
♪ Crazy about my baby ♪
2624
01:45:31,296 --> 01:45:34,111
♪ Crazy about my baby
Crazy about my baby ♪
2625
01:45:34,176 --> 01:45:37,754
♪ Crazy about my baby,
my baby's crazy 'bout me ♪
2626
01:45:40,576 --> 01:45:44,318
♪ Crazy about my baby,
my baby's crazy 'bout me ♪
2627
01:45:54,047 --> 01:45:55,640
Now let's find out, L.J.,
2628
01:45:55,711 --> 01:45:58,100
why the Ferber method
isn't working.
2629
01:46:03,999 --> 01:46:05,461
Oh, hi, baby.
2630
01:46:05,536 --> 01:46:07,739
Hi, Little Jack.
Okay.
2631
01:46:07,808 --> 01:46:10,142
Oh, look what I brought you.
2632
01:46:10,207 --> 01:46:13,469
Oh, what did I bring?
A chocolate.
2633
01:46:14,111 --> 01:46:16,021
For the baby.
2634
01:46:16,768 --> 01:46:18,295
Yummy, is that good?
2635
01:46:18,368 --> 01:46:20,091
I know you're
not supposed to have this.
2636
01:46:20,160 --> 01:46:21,654
Grandpa Jack
doesn't like chocolate.
2637
01:46:21,727 --> 01:46:23,734
But he's a little,
you know, whacko.
2638
01:46:23,807 --> 01:46:24,887
Don't tell him, okay?
2639
01:46:24,960 --> 01:46:27,000
You know what?
I got some cake in the refrigerator.
2640
01:46:27,072 --> 01:46:28,665
Later I'll bring
you that, okay?
2641
01:46:28,736 --> 01:46:30,558
Chocolate cake.
Good boy.
2642
01:46:31,072 --> 01:46:33,341
But don't tell anyone, okay?
One more.
2643
01:46:37,280 --> 01:46:38,971
You yell and scream
all you want.
2644
01:46:39,040 --> 01:46:41,276
Make noise, that's what
this country's all about.
2645
01:46:41,343 --> 01:46:43,765
I think we've got a
little protester on our hands.
2646
01:46:43,840 --> 01:46:45,301
Oh, it figures,
2647
01:46:45,375 --> 01:46:47,197
I should've known
this was gonna go on.
2648
01:46:47,263 --> 01:46:48,441
Always question authority.
2649
01:46:48,511 --> 01:46:51,326
You have to question everything
El Stiffo Grandpa Jack says.
2650
01:46:51,391 --> 01:46:53,115
You know why?
Because' he's full of...
2651
01:46:53,184 --> 01:46:54,940
Because he's full of...
2652
01:46:56,511 --> 01:46:58,300
Grandpa Jack is full of...
2653
01:47:01,663 --> 01:47:03,256
Grandpa Jack is full of...
2654
01:47:09,120 --> 01:47:11,225
There he is.
Little Man Jack.
2655
01:47:11,295 --> 01:47:12,986
How're you doing?
2656
01:47:13,312 --> 01:47:15,483
Can I interest you
in a little vodka?
2657
01:47:15,936 --> 01:47:17,245
Just kidding.
2658
01:47:17,760 --> 01:47:19,483
I'm, like, uh, officially
your uncle now.
2659
01:47:19,551 --> 01:47:20,729
So I was thinking
2660
01:47:20,832 --> 01:47:22,904
maybe I should give you
some uncley advice.
2661
01:47:22,975 --> 01:47:25,015
You know, little hints
for surviving in this family
2662
01:47:25,087 --> 01:47:26,680
'cause you gotta learn
to keep secrets
2663
01:47:26,752 --> 01:47:28,541
from your psycho Grandpa Jack.
2664
01:47:28,608 --> 01:47:29,622
He was really upset
2665
01:47:29,695 --> 01:47:31,189
when you crawled out
of the playpen.
2666
01:47:31,263 --> 01:47:33,751
Which is why we never tell him
that instead of watching you,
2667
01:47:33,824 --> 01:47:35,515
I was actually
out by the lagoon
2668
01:47:35,584 --> 01:47:37,177
smoking a little reefer.
2669
01:47:40,032 --> 01:47:43,065
Or that whole thing
about Pam being pregnant.
2670
01:47:43,839 --> 01:47:45,694
There's no little Focker
on the way.
2671
01:47:45,759 --> 01:47:46,872
Whole thing was just made up
2672
01:47:46,944 --> 01:47:48,983
so Jack would
let us get married. But...
2673
01:47:49,055 --> 01:47:51,259
You gotta do
what you gotta do, right?
2674
01:47:51,744 --> 01:47:54,613
That's cute, that little
alligator tchotchke thing.
2675
01:47:54,688 --> 01:47:56,030
What's that in its mouth?
2676
01:47:56,096 --> 01:47:58,517
It's got like a... a camera!
2677
01:48:00,607 --> 01:48:01,851
Busted.
2678
01:48:04,224 --> 01:48:05,238
Hi, Jack.
2679
01:48:05,311 --> 01:48:07,580
I knew you were there
all along. I was just, uh,
2680
01:48:07,647 --> 01:48:08,891
doin' a little show for you.
2681
01:48:08,959 --> 01:48:10,650
You know I don't smoke pot
or anything,
2682
01:48:10,719 --> 01:48:12,345
and Pam is pregnant.
2683
01:48:12,416 --> 01:48:14,358
You should've seen the look
on your face, though.
2684
01:48:14,432 --> 01:48:15,359
Oh, so good.
2685
01:48:15,423 --> 01:48:17,725
Asshole.
2686
01:48:19,488 --> 01:48:21,593
Hey, look at me,
Jack, what am I?
2687
01:48:25,504 --> 01:48:27,359
I am a frozen caveman.
2688
01:48:27,424 --> 01:48:29,147
Study me, Jack.
2689
01:48:29,215 --> 01:48:32,564
Learn how strange
the Focker genetic code is.
2690
01:48:32,640 --> 01:48:34,844
We are weird mutants
who hug and kiss.
2691
01:48:34,912 --> 01:48:37,083
We show emotion.
2692
01:48:37,376 --> 01:48:38,783
Jack must learn from us
2693
01:48:38,848 --> 01:48:40,408
and chip away
with his hammer of truth.
2694
01:48:40,479 --> 01:48:41,854
Ha, Focker.
2695
01:48:42,176 --> 01:48:43,452
Wooga booga.