Falling in love is beautiful.
We do it for one reason: nothing In the world we feel very good.
- Don't! - "Don't!"
- It hurts! - Poor Kate Let me make it better.
You are ugly. You are ugly!
First love is the strongest because no one has been hurt.
My first love is Bobby Norton.
Everything he did has some kind of magic for that.
The way he smiles, speaks
the way he walks like me favorite actor, Billy Jack
Bobby is a movie star.
Are you okay?
Maybe you shouldn't push so hard next time.
My heart is getting bigger.
When I like this it looks like You only have one eye.
Thank you.
One of the differences between men and women during love
It is necessary to tell the world every little detail
if you choose to spill your guts for someone
just make sure is not Becky Sussman
Bobby, are you okay?
- How can you do it? - What am I doing?
You tell everyone How can you do that?
All my friends make fun of me And now it's over.
This is over!
Police!
I will tell you my friend is lying!
I'll let you hit me harder! Police!
Love ls minefield We took a step, it was shattered
put yourself back together again and foolishly take another step
I think it's human nature.
It's painful to be alone. We prefer to blow up than to be single.
Hey, Frank.
It doesn't make the elevator act faster, Kate
I know, but it makes me feel more involved.
- Are you angry? - No, why?
I only hear single women tends to be 8 times more angry than women who are married.
Maybe you should write an article about it, because you are not married.
I will, but
I wrote about bald men who are married which cannot be difficult without Viagra.
- You're late. - I know.
- Not a good day to be late. - Why not?
Because Anti-Christ really makes you angry.
He wants to see you in his office now.
- Lord Why? - I shouldn't say.
- Do you have stretch marks? - Not yet.
Cursing! I have an deadline in my Vitamin E section.
That bitch in accounting won't talk Is anyone here who has stretch marks?
Sit down.
God!
Don't be old, Kate Old is ugly, ugly is death.
- You were fired. - What?
Get me Leo Is this a joke? Already Do you plan to submit this?
You said I had to make it my own article, so I did it Kate, this is step by step description of sucking chicken.
- Yes, I call it "Blow by Blow" - Very smart.
"When life sucks, so should you Oral sex can cure depression."
What do you think?
Maybe the title is a bit rough But I found a good hook, right?
I mean, you have to attract from you own experience and relationships.
That's what I did
I know ten times more about blows work than I do about relationships
I failed in every relationship I've been in
I don't know about your person life, and I don't care.
The point is, our readers still have hope.
This is called Monique Magazine My name is at stake here.
It's not called "Old Tired Jaded Dicksucker's Reviews".
What if Mary wrote the song in a perfect relationship
and I do things with stretch marks? I know many people with them I will be fully honest with you I can't overcome being fired.
This is the only thing in me my whole life hasn't failed I can do the job, I know I can.
Can you finish 2,5OO happily, mighty words with tonight's deadline?
- Of course. - Then you cannot be used temporarily.
Now leave here.
Dirt! Dirt!
So you got fired?
Not yet.
Someone made a copy of your article and spread it.
Pretty good.
So you use your hand?
Happy, cheerful notes
about how to find and save it the perfect man.
We all want to be loved.
It doesn't matter to anyone, as long as it because they make us feel not alone.
What makes a relationship last forever?
If I know the answer, I will not live alone with my four cats.
They say you have to kiss lots of frogs to get the prince.
Richard Miltner is the most boring boring frog I've ever dated.
But sometimes you only have to get out of the house.
You know, it's masculine and feminine.
We are lucky enough.
My mother's corn is usually not as bad as this.
Luckily for us he can't walk is good enough to come to the show.
It's haunting, isn't it?
What?
Painting They are quite disturbing.
- Do you think? - If I have children
I definitely won't put one of these into his bedroom.
Unless I hate it.
My father will depend on things like that from my ceiling.
He hates me My mother hates me too.
He used to say I was dying of cancer when I was four years old.
It always sends me in depression, which is exactly what he wants
because I won't ask him to make me lunch.
He hates it when I tap it for food or goods.
- Do you want champagne? - What?
Champagne, do you want?
Yes, of course.
Are you looking for me?
I'm not really looking for anyone.
Do you mind if I talk to you for a while?
Sure.
At the corner.
- At the corner? - I don't like the center of the room.
Just follow me to the corner There is no one behind you in the corner.
- Who is the man with you? - What man?
Richard? He is a stand-up comedian.
He looks funny Is he your girlfriend?
Richard? No, he is 3 years old and lives with his mother.
So what do you think about the paintings?
I like the style, but I think they are a little immature Not mature? What makes you say that?
Look at the one there.
- What does this mean? - That?
That means that there is an attractive woman.
What's the point? What did I learn from that?
Maybe that's all. There's no point. You don't have to learn anything.
I want to know what it looks like.
He must be scary to make this.
Maybe he is very developed Your dark side doesn't understand.
So how long did it take you to paint that one?
Gosh, that's the way I'm looking for you everywhere.
You are a doll Look at this! Thank you Richard, Adam Levy.
- You are the artist. - You are a lucky person.
We just went around to discuss the future of our children.
Right, but I don't think you will have a future together.
- I'm sorry Excuse me? - You have to see that person again.
You will not see it again because he is my girlfriend.
- What? - What?
When we look at each other
we have this spark right?
- Kate. - Isn't that right, Kate?
No, actually.
Is this some kind of joke?
No, but this is: two people enter a bar.
One person is a stand-up 3 years old comedian who lives with his mother.
Can we leave now, please?
You know, it's a woman like you that turns men into weird people.
Don't bother once I'm hurt, there's no turning back.
That's not cool, I made it weird.
- You shouldn't do that. - I know.
So where should we eat?
You are without doubt the highest the woman I've met in my life.
Very?
I have noticed you this
long ET radius.
Like a tree frog.
my Lord! How big?
- Size 11 - Size 11?
- Yes, size 11 - Size of woman 11?
Is this some kind of artist? Focusing on lack of people?
I don't see them as flaws, but as God's artistic choice
I think God decided to give you this big, abnormal head.
I'm sorry you like a prostitute.
- Excuse me? -13! Jesus Christ!
Give me a break!
- Are you popular in middle school? - What do you think?
- I don't think so. - I don't need this
I am very popular in middle school I am an artist, I usually draw everything beautiful girls, make them better.
They all love me.
They don't sleep with me, but they love me.
How about you?
You must have been very popular with that attitude.
No, I have big buck teeth and skinny knees.
And I bent to hide that fact I haven't grown breasts yet.
And my hair is all stringy and everyone calls me Horseface.
Horseface? Suitable for you.
- Do you think so? - I love it.
- Do you like it? - What's your longest kiss?
Longest kiss?
No, it will only make me jealous.
Make sure this one is longer
Adam isn't like that anyone I've ever known.
We are instant good friends.
Two people who understand each other without having to say a word.
Not at all like that In my first relationship.
I am a bad idea to give up my virginity to my French teacher if two people want it some of them
it's good when they make love with each other, they feel good.
- What? - Let's make love.
We will, Mr. Bossard I promise.
I don't think I can tonight I'm not really ready yet.
Because you feel we don't have a quality of life together - I'm sad for this. - What?
Let's make love, Cheri, please I waited so long.
- Does it hurt? - Don't be scary - I was there for you who needed me. - What?
Mr. Bossard
did you do it?
I can't believe it should hurt.
Maybe it's because I've been riding horses all my life.
Are you smaller than most men?
The father phase of my older man continues on the right to college
I am not a very evolved person when I met Eric.
- Are you okay? - Are you blind? Out of your mind?
What's wrong with you? This is a new car!
You can kill me! What are you doing?
- I said I'm sorry, huh? - This is a US $ 5OO shirt!
- I didn't see you. - You don't see me?
- Do you paint your fingernails? - Listen, fuckface! I do not see you!
I didn't wake up this morning and leave.
"Today is the day I will fall into some fucking tense yuppie!"
Do you know what? Damn you!
Dirt! Shit!
- There! Do you see it? - How about that?
- Take it! - Okay, stop it!
- Officer, me. - Shut up! Hands behind you!
- Hit him with your big stick! - You! Wake up there!
- We got off at the wrong foot. - What?
You just destroyed my car!
I apologize for that Maybe we can start over again.
Do you have plans for dinner tonight after we make a guarantee?
So this is where the writer hang out?
What did you write?
I am working on a novel between my journalistic classes at UCLA.
A novel?
- What is this about? - Dead.
Sounds interesting.
So what are you doing?
I work a lot with Big Red-Ass Monkeys.
This is a band. You know, band?
"Big Red-Ass Monkeys are here" I direct the music video
isn't that the naked one Girls swimming with chimpanzees?
Great Ape Apes.
That's right, I think the chimpanzee doesn't have that big red donkey.
I don't know, I never checked it.
do you think maybe I can kiss you?
- Maybe later. - Maybe later when?
Maybe later like 5 seconds
5, 4, 3, 2
I hate when that happens.
Cheers for us three-week anniversary.
I think this is the longest relationship I've ever experienced.
Well, not including Mr. Bossard, which lasts for one semester.
- Did I ever tell you? - Don't mention your French teacher.
That really bothers me.
- Good. - And your last relationship?
- God How about that? - How much longer?
- Five sad years. - What do you both have?
None.
What do we have in common?
- We have many similarities. - Like what?
Like, how many people do you know
who has sex in a public place?
Every man I've ever met.
Good morning. You know what day it is today, right?
Sunday morning my turn.
- I think it's my turn. - No, it's my turn.
Do you know what? This game is ridiculous.
- This is not spontaneous. - That is not true.
Scheduled spontaneity is the key for long-term love.
Don't look happy.
I like Sundays.
Be careful, be careful
I don't understand that.
They can wait Come on.
- Get it or you don't get it. - I can't get it.
Good
I'll be back.
Don't lose yourself concentration, okay?
Where did you go?
Now you want it, right? Hold that thought, okay?
Daddy!
- Guess what I did at Kiddieland? - We will come with you.
Not what it looks like, I'll explain Nell, wait! Nell!
Kate, I can explain!
Will you come back?
Will you stop? Stop!
- Are you? - I understand how you feel.
You don't know how people feel You are a social climber!
- I'm planning a divorce. - Don't touch me again!
- Kate! - Daddy!
Even when bad relationships end
the pain can be severe enough to mess with you for years.
We all take a little baggage after each breakup.
The hope is that that's when the bag starts to accumulate
we can still drag them into the next relationship.
Fortunately when Adam and I moved together my luggage is quite light.
- Come on, enter that one in the bedroom. - I will put "Paul's Entrails".
It's better for bathrooms if you want to be seen clearly.
Okay, whatever you want.
- I love you, Horseface. - I love you too
I mean, I love you more than I have loved anyone
in my life.
Where did you go?
God.
- Say it. - Why do you want me to say it again?
Because it's funny And I want funny moments to be stored forever.
That will sound forced And I'm upset Can we just?
- Just say it. - I love you.
- Horseface! - I love you, Horseface
I love you too Now strip.
- Strip? - Strip.
- Put the toys and we will. - Come on.
- Don't stab a bear at a zoo. - Come on.
- Don't stab a bear at a zoo. - Release it. Come on
- Don't stab a bear at a zoo. - Take it out.
When you finally share your loneliness sleep with the person you love
life doesn't get better.
- Not me. - Stop it.
That's your first time That's your first fart.
That's your first fart You really love me.
Don't blame me.
That's very funny You are embarrassed.
Come here. No woman has ever been farting in front of me before.
Hi.
- Hi. - What?
- Why are you smiling like that?
This is our one year anniversary You must smile too.
I think so.
Come here. Come on.
No, come here Are you a little rabbit grumbling?
I took you somewhere today is very special.
- Where? - This is a surprise.
Get me a bathtub and I'll take you.
- Now, in the middle of the day? - I feel so dirty I need a bathtub.
Forget it.
Can you fill me in the bathtub? Come on, you're a big grouch, just leave.
God, it's like pulling teeth with you to get anything.
my Lord!
Are you insane? What are we going to do with all these kittens?
I don't know Make soup, I thought.
What did they do there? They like you, of course.
This one Louie, Murray this one.
This is Steve and This is Mordecai.
I got it from a Chinese restaurant.
Hi, Mommy.
Hello Am I funny?
Hi, you are my new Mommy now.
Bet with 13 people you sleep on not give you cat litter
I am pregnant.
- Are you really? - I took the test and it turned pink.
Pink? Isn't that supposed to be like a plus sign?
Believe me, I know how to pee on a stick and read directions.
- I think we are safe. - Yes, it's not safe enough.
- God, we hardly know each other. - We know each other
I don't know if I'm ready to become a mother, Adam I'm too confused, too mature, too messy.
What about abortion? Have you ever thought about that? possibility?
I never thought so will happen to me
- I don't know what to do. - Here, come here.
Don't worry. Many people think is the world's biggest gift.
- What do you think? - I will tell you what I think:
that our baby will be the cutest thing to walk with poo-poo pants.
Are you scared?
From what? Do the best natural things in the world?
Bring a beautiful little brilliant genius to the world?
No, I will not be afraid.
What if it's not a beautiful genius? What if it's a bad little troll?
I think we just have to pray to God that my baby is like me.
We can name it Ned, after my grandfather.
- What if it's a little girl? - Nedina, we will call it.
This one needs to change what I want You practice to be a good mother.
God, my stomach is very big!
I look like a Buddha.
You are the same as usual.
So I always have Buddhist intestines?
Relax You are already pregnant a month The baby is too small.
- Soon you will look like Volkswagen. - You have a big head that isn't normal.
Come on, Horseface, come here.
Come on.
Let's see what we get here.
Ned wants a womb with a view.
Ned isn't too funny.
Well, Ned is only a fetus We have to cut Ned a little.
And I think you are more beautiful than before.
Are you okay, honey?
Are you okay? What is wrong?
I'm bleeding.
Something's wrong.
Wake up.
Where is your robe, honey?
- Where is your robe? - I do not know.
Do you think it's possible to love the same person forever?
- Of course not? - I don't know I haven't seen the relationship does not end one way or another.
What about your parents? They have been together for 35 years.
They live together, but they haven't said "I love you" for 2 years.
Maybe it's the human nature that you spend a lot of time around someone saying "I love you" might be like saying "cheese sandwich".
God, I hope not
Katie.
- I'm your cheese sandwich. - I also made you cheese bread.
The longer you are with someone, the more annoying they are.
You will be annoying too So if you want perfection all the time
don't bother a relationship.
Do you see that old woman?
- Doesn't he look sad and lonely? - I don't seem to need shoes.
His eyes are very empty.
Parents have empty eyes Especially older women.
- What? - Can we come in here?
What do you mean, especially the old woman?
- Women don't age just like men. - How can you say that?
How many 5O year old women have you seen with 2-year-old people?
That's the double standard of society It has nothing to do with facts.
Who looks better, Sean Connery or Shelley Winters?
It's natural Men have thicker skin That's why women have more wrinkles.
- Shut up. - You are afraid to become obsolete.
At a certain age, men begin to notice young girls that scare you.
Well, you will be bald!
I have a key! Where are you going?
I have one What do you have?
This is topless female ninja.
Let's get one 'Cause we will forget to return it
and it will be 8OO dollars for two films.
- And which one do you want? - "Nosferatu".
You have seen it 5 times, and every time you are depressed
I like depression That makes I feel deep and introspective.
What do you want to know about this? Maybe you might like it.
"Nasty naked nippette infiltrates mass and takes over small Italy
nunchacking their way to Mafia Don Guido Mantucci".
That sounds amazing.
Why do you have to do it?
You think I want to go home and curl up
and reading the translation and watching in black and white?
Can't we go to hell save the video and don't argue?
Not as long as you have sucks in the movie.
That's not true! How can you not respect German expressionism?
- I like German Expressionism. - Right.
What I don't like is what you play when you watch the film.
You get all fixated on death "I will die, you will die".
Alright you watch your stupid titty movie, I'll watch my death movie.
- You return yours, I will return mine. - Well.
This is his birthday One of them must be free.
Romance.
The most important part of maintaining a good relationship occurs.
Be sure to appreciate each moments together in bed.
We have never had sex.
We haven't had sex within three weeks.
You don't even listen to me.
No, I'm not
I say we haven't had sex within three weeks.
Maybe it's because you clip your toenails on our bed.
What is the real reason?
I don't know.
Do you want to have sex now?
No, right?
No
Is something wrong with us? - I do not know.
Maybe we should force ourselves.
- What? Like raping each other? - It might change us.
- I'm tired. - Me, too.
- Love you. - I love you, too.
Don't do it. You don't know how many bother me.
I said no!
If you do it again, I will shout.
I think it's over.
What's wrong?
We think we're done.
What are you saying?
I think I have to break up.
What did you just say?
I say I think we should break up.
No, you said you should break up.
- What's the difference? - There is a big difference.
Saying "we" implies that it is a reciprocal relationship Otherwise it means you end it.
- Did you end it? - I don't know I think so.
Have you ever met other people?
There is nothing like that. Only we become this married old couple.
God This is 13 things, isn't it?
Like that.
You're obsessed with my past, now you want to make it balanced.
Shut up about that Not 13 people
I've forgotten that, I already dealt with it It doesn't matter, I promise you.
Then why now?
That's what I've never been single I have spent my whole life from one relationship to another.
And I have never been alone.
Do you realize what you are saying? Do you realize what this means?
What does this mean?
That means this, finally.
And when it's done, it's over.
Yes, I think so.
But it's not like that we won't remain friends.
Who said anything about being a friend?
We love each other I don't want to lose you from my life.
Know that when you reach number 13 I won't be here waiting for you.
Give it, not about it That doesn't work for us.
- You're not happy, right? - No, I'm not happy.
- So, none of us are happy. - You're really miserable.
Can you stop? You are packing my laundry now.
Breaking out the best thing for me!
Do you know what?
- I feel good No, I feel great. - Come back to sleep.
It was like a weight had been lifted from my head.
- Can't you wait for this? - I can breathe, I can think.
All life suddenly clear It's amazing!
I am very happy!
When I look back on the love that I have with Adam
I see a sad potted plant no one cares about water.
Starts green and fertile, then finally becomes a dry stick.
Dropouts like death, slowly
with no one around.
That's why it's so important during that dark period
to keep busy doing things that don't make you depressed.
Damn me! Jesus! Kate!
I don't believe that.
Our relationship hasn't even started to decay yet.
- Who is this? - My friend Kate
Kate, this is my friend Peach.
This must be a friend You just broke up.
And this must be a friend You just started making love!
Wait wait.
Peach? My Lord!
What's the matter what's on your face?
- Lower your voice. - What are you doing here?
This is my film! You came to make it with someone named Peaches?
- How dare you? - I want to call you Can I call you?
No, I will forget you And when I do it, I will call you.
It can take days.
Okay, let's see here.
That's terrible.
Here you go Kate, how about this?
No That makes me look like prostitutes who are addicted to drugs
I want to look great Like a drug addiction model I don't see what the problem is It's only a birthday party.
Adam will be there.
- Have you forgotten it? - Of course
I just want him to feel jealous when he saw me with Jerome Davis
Jerome Davis? Wait a minute.
The perverted basketball player who is obsessed with your buttocks?
him?
You got a great donkey. You are a big woman but your butt is small and compact to fit your size.
But if you take that butt and put it on your little friend here
it will be very big.
That's it, I'm leaving.
God!
Think that's you.
I didn't expect to see you here I didn't know Sam invited you.
- No, Mary invited me. - Mary? Of course.
That's great.
Nice to meet you.
I haven't seen you in a while I miss you.
It's been a long time.
- I'm sorry, Hi, I'm Adam. - What's up, Ad? Jerome.
This is not an ad, this is Adam What's up, Jer?
- Why don't I call you tomorrow? - Don't make this weird
- I'll call you tomorrow. - Call me.
Give me a call or my page, Because my dirt is exploding now.
- Why don't you contact me? - I will
I wander around 82 Stars so I'm now you, I'm checking it out.
- That was very strange last night. - I know, it's very strange.
- So you fall in love? - I should have asked you that.
- Why did you ask me that? - You keep kissing Lolita!
Come on, Michael Jordan is sucking your tonsils.
Where did you find the man?
- Let's not discuss it. - You raised it
- I am ready to become an adult. - Me too, right.
- How can you go with that weirdo? - How can you go with the bimbo?
Savannah isn't bimbo He happened to play a harp.
I'm sorry, a bimbo savant.
At least I'm not having an affair with a hot tub party with Dennis Rodman.
- I can't believe you're jealous. - I'm not jealous Stop
I don't like him, I don't love him I might never see him again.
Kate, I miss you so much You are my best friend.
- I just feel normal around you. - I know.
Hopefully over time this will all work.
We will have to release it from the old feelings we have.
Good.
Being Jerome's man, is he like big?
I just want to know as a friend Is that bad for a friend?
Is it like, a nice big surprise or You better take me home now big?
Is it like I'm above my head? Am I above my big head?
When you continue In your search for love
Sex is the fastest way to erase the past.
Promise me you will never leave me
I promise.
What are you doing?
Large.
The only sex I have in a few months and with you.
Being single again can be difficult, but can also be empowering.
After breaking up, I went out home as often as I could
going to places that confused my mind from my loneliness.
Sorry, I was looking for a gift joke for a friend's birthday.
- What kinkiest items do you have? - Depends.
Do you mean curly in the ass or just curly white bread?
Only curly white bread, please.
- Third aisle. - Thank you.
This is a butt plug.
Some people like to put it their butts.
Thank you very much.
So, a good girl like you did it at Earl's Pornorama?
I am here to buy a joke gift for a friend of mine
- I'm not here to talk to strangers. - Why are you so nervous?
Are you interested in me?
God, it's very arrogant!
I feel uncomfortable taking plastic penis with a man.
Wait a minute.
Do I not know you?
- It could be. - God.
Aren't you the guy in the movie with the naked ninja girl?
Yes, I have done a lot of things since then That's a few things before
I am.
- I'm Joey Santino. - I know.
My ex-boyfriend forced me to watch all your films.
Forced by you?
Well he loves you.
Well, not after we fall in love, he won't do it
I don't date actors
Joey isn't too smart But I like him innocent I am experiencing a phase not judging me
and don't want to push people away just because they say stupid things
I love you.
- You only know me for 14 hours! - I know I love you in the first hour, but I waited 13 more to tell you.
You only think you fall in love 'because we've had sex without stopping.
How can you be so cynical?
I've never felt like this in my whole life.
You are the most beautiful thing It happened to me.
you see? That's why I don't date actors.
And you don't need to say it You love me back Because
I only want you to know my feelings
that's all.
Unless you want to I won't stop you from saying it
that you love me, if you want.
I like you very much.
- Hello. - This is me.
Hey, what's wrong with Adam?
There's not much I haven't seen Sunday Want to have dinner tomorrow?
It's very sweet, but I can't I go outside.
What about Friday? Do you want to watch a movie on Friday?
No, I can't go to Malibu for the weekend
Malibu? What is in Malibu?
Great beach
I see that In a Thomas Guide once with whom did you go?
Someone, you don't know him He has a house there.
- Are you like him? - What's with all the questions?
There's no reason I just want to know if you like this rich Malibu person.
Yes, I like him.
- Do you like it very much? - Yes, he is good.
- Hello? - Do you love him?
I think so, huh.
We've been together every day for the past few weeks.
That's good for you Do you know what? I have to go.
Because I have a date with an actress. You know.
- I'll call you when I come back. - Sure, good.
- I can't accept it. - What?
I can't - I can't accept it. - Just enter here
I think I've forgotten you I thought I was done.
God, this is terrible!
- Please, don't go to Malibu. - You are crazy? That's a joke, right?
This is no joke. This is not.
- I love you. - Go on a date, you will be fine.
- Can you tell me one thing? - What?
What is his last name?
Just tell me his last name
Santino
Santino That's perfect Joey
Joey Santino, the actor?
My titty ninja? You hate it!
Actually he's a very good actor.
Obviously you haven't seen all of his work in the future.
What, work later? Motherfucker!
my Lord! You must be kidding! How can you?
Adam, you have to go.
- You shouldn't fall in love. - Stop being hypocritical
I'm a man! I make love! I'm not in love!
- Maybe not. - You think Mr. Italian is fucking
he made love to you, he loves you? I don't think so!
- Whatever. - I'm out of here, okay?
This is fucking damn it!
Don't call fucking!
- Are you Miss Kate Wells? - Yes
I have a message for you from Adam Levy.
Even though we're just friends Only friends, only friends I don't like other girls You are my baby.
Don't date that stupid guy That stupid guy, that stupid guy
if you do it I will start crying.
You are my baby.
Mr. Levy wants you to have it
the picture is signed from itself
and this Wait, it's improving.
- Cheese sandwich. - Thank you.
- Hello. - Does the little one sing?
What do you think?
- Did you get my photo? - Adam?
Next to boys?
Yes, I got a sandwich and I got your picture.
- Can you stop torturing me? - Come here.
Get rid of him. We will exercise, we will spoon, we will do everything.
- We will hang around all day. - Adam.
What do you use?
God, this is beautiful here.
Do you talk to me?
There is no one else here.
Who do you think are you talking to?
- De Niro! - Right.
De Niro is the best I swear, I love him, Him.
De Niro.
Yes, he's a good actor.
OK?
I mean, we talk about Robert De Niro here.
OK? Come on him a.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich Good asparagus is good.
De Niro, he isn't.
I mean, like "Cape Fear".
Counselor.
Exit, out wherever you are
I know you, you jerk! I am better than all of you!
I can get out of your study, I can get out-read you
I can guess you
and I can philosophize you.
And I will live longer than you!
That's good, right? And "Raging Bull", which one
biggest show all the time.
You will drop me off, Ray You will drop me off.
Are you okay? I know the Heimlich.
- You want to ruin my relationship? - Your nose is very funny.
You never tried to get me back before what ego trip did you do?
- Can I kiss her? - What?
- nose. - Stop messing up my life I was involved with someone else.
Marry me? Please.
- Are you listening to me? - I understand, do not worry
I broke up with you Because I'm not experienced.
You are my third girlfriend How should I know better?
You are so easy compared to me I am the 14th You are my 3rd child.
- Listen, you can't. - Just marry me I'm sorry, I messed up I can't live with this kind of mistake.
Don't you see? This is really a bad time.
You can't wait until I engage with other people
then suddenly proposes marriage or claims you love me I will change How does that sound? We will make a contract
everything you don't like about me I will change.
Your death sentence is against it, For that I am opposed to it now.
We will do a candle watch in prison
- I don't want you to change. - Do you know what? I will not change I learned enough from you We will fly, travel
I will go to therapy, I will forget it fear of planes and we will travel
Adam, stop it Stop now.
Alright. Let me ask you a question Right out, all kidding
Katie will you marry me?
No.
I won't torture again
if you are happy, I'm glad you are happy.
I make you miserable and I'm sorry.
- I just want you to know something. - What?
I can't be friends I'm too weak.
- Adam. - I can't even be near you.
You are here like this amazing Juicy ham sandwich
that I want to eat, and I can't because my lips are sewn.
- That's a pretty analogy. - You know what I mean.
Have a nice life.
Don't say that. You know we will meet again.
Yes, right
Is love crazy? No But it feels like that.
All the chemicals in your brain change every word he says into poetry.
Have I ever told you what I used to do with my younger brother?
Whenever he makes a mistake, I put dog poop under his pillow
I will say, "Jimmy, go under the pillow and count to 2O".
Half the time he can until 1 o before he realizes what happened.
That's very stupid Jimmy? Not.
She's a lawyer now She's the smartest of us all.
Do you remember me now?
Relationships are based entirely on sex end of minutes, sex becomes boring.
So if you want to survive outside boring sex.
You should try to connect to a deeper level
I brought us some cheese bread.
Thank you.
Do you think people can stay passionate about each other forever?
Yes, as long as they work on that relationship
and don't get fat
I hope
I'm not sure it's natural I like to think it's possible.
I think, over time, we will come to take it for granted.
And after years stayed together saying
"I love you" is like saying "cheese sandwich", you know?
Did you know that Robert De Niro is lactose intolerant?
After chemicals go crazy In my brain it stops increasing I started forgetting it phase didn't judge me
Joey and I will have it real conversation soon
I will die.
- Are you listening to me? - What?
I will die.
When?
One day.
We will all die Watch a movie.
Doesn't that bother you?
- I don't think about these things. - Why not?
Look, we are in the middle of the movie .
That's when I think about the most deaths.
All these people are staring at darkness scaring me.
- You don't understand? - No, okay? I do not understand that.
Why do I have to get it? I don't want to get that.
That's the problem We should meet each other.
You don't get me, I don't get you.
What? What the hell is this what are you talking about?
Do you know what my problem is? I am a buoy I float through life like dead bodies in the river
crashing into rocks and logs I didn't choose my path.
- Shut up! - I just hit things, like you I met you at a porn shop, Blast! I have sex with you.
Explosion! I have a relationship with your I don't think, I'm just booming!
- Shut your mouth! - So that's me for you?
I only have a few logs You met at a porn shop?
You wear sunglasses in the cinema.
- They subscribe. - That's a recipe, you fool!
Okay, Mrs. Thesaurus, I'm an idiot You know, that's it.
Hasta la vista, baby This is a guy who won't stand it anymore.
You will all die Think about that.
You will all die And no one will remember you because they will all die too! Excuse me.
Hi, this is Adam I'm not home, so leave your message after a beep.
Hi, Adam This is me
Adam, are you there?
I don't want to call other people.
Are you okay?
- What's wrong, honey? - We broke up.
- God. - I broke up with Joey.
Terrible.
- I failed. - You did not fail I am a leprosy sufferer.
It's not true you have more potential relationships than anyone I know.
Fuck potential Anyone can have potential.
Are you kidding me? Your only problem is bad time.
Two people can be perfect, and if the time is wrong, it won't work.
Bad time is the most important reason normal people end singles.
Normal people?
Weirdos is single because they are weird but people like us
we are single because we are victims of bad times.
Since when do you have a lot of things you know?
Because you fell in love and I have been lying awake every night and wondering
if I ever find anyone that I feel as usual.
There is no bad time, Adam
if the time is right, you tell me, okay?
How about now? You think?
Okay, that's cool Take as much time as you want.
Love ls ecstasy and pain
freedom and imprisonment
longing and loneliness.
That makes us together _ when life makes us separate.
So, when you find that perfect man, hold tight.
Then call me so I can see what he looks like and laugh
because he is not there, you are sad, manly
suckers are a little optimistic.
I'm out I can't do the task
I always feel like a fraud here Everything I write is nonsense.
And I'm really in demand, I can't do it anymore.
And honestly I'm sorry if I have caused you a problem.
Wait a minute She's too fat.
Everything you write here own bullshit?
- No one has a grain of truth? - There is no.
So your research about the blow job can cure depression
really made.
No, actually, that is true.
But it only works for suckee.
Suckers always stay depressed.
I already said that
I'm here.
Actually, can I ask you a few questions if that's okay?
Of course, continue.
- Are you married? - Not.
- Do you have children around? - Not.
Do you feel the need to have sex with many different women?
- No. - Are you a liar?
Yes.
Just kidding.
Good you have a sense of humor.
That's my next question Can you listen?
I'm sorry, what?
- How do you see me? - I got it Only one more, I promise.
Do you have a problem with a complicated woman?
Great, let's go.
Can I ask one question?
Of course I'm sorry, ask whatever you want.
Have you allowed Jesus Christ into your heart?
- God! - If I can have one moment.
- No, Get out! - May I?
- If the next knock is the devil. - Get away!
- Listen, it's been permitted. - Get away! Now!
Thank you.
Hi, are you Kate Wells?
- Yes and you are Rob, right? - Right.
Thank you.
- Thank you for coming. - Nice to meet you.
- You're good. - Thank you.
And evil.
I like my men good and bad.
Thank you.
- Do you have a boyfriend? - Yes, of course.
She's dating now.
So where is your free date?
- I told him that I was sick. - Yes, you are sick.
Yes, from wanting you back.
That's amazing
I am very proud of myself.
- I did it well, right? - Yes, you are fine.
- It's different. - I surprise you, I know that.
- You look scared. - I want to know where you are studying.
We have to break up more often.
We have to
- I love you. - Me, too.
Exit.
- So with Joey, is that now? 16? - Shut up.
No, seriously
15 I am 14 years old.
What about Peaches? Tell me about Peaches
- I don't want to know about him. - No, you do.
Where do you think I learned what I did