1 00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:35,196 Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. 2 00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:38,034 You know what it means. Last week, 3 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:45,376 the assignment was to write an essay about your family. 4 00:00:45,447 --> 00:00:48,939 - Who they... - Are! 5 00:00:49,017 --> 00:00:51,008 And what they... 6 00:00:51,086 --> 00:00:53,350 Mean to us! 7 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:56,913 Excellent droning. So I want everyone to take out their essays. 8 00:00:57,159 --> 00:01:01,596 We're going to read them aloud to the class right up here. 9 00:01:02,364 --> 00:01:10,100 My mom says that me and my dad have very healthy appetites. 10 00:01:10,172 --> 00:01:12,902 My mom and dad are very religious. 11 00:01:12,974 --> 00:01:17,707 When they're in their bedroom at night, I always hear them yelling, “Jesus!” 12 00:01:17,779 --> 00:01:23,740 My mom says my dad's eyes are brown because he is so full of sh... 13 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:24,807 Brian! 14 00:01:25,921 --> 00:01:28,253 My brother Jack is in eighth grade. 15 00:01:28,323 --> 00:01:30,951 He told me to ask my dad who he voted for... 16 00:01:31,026 --> 00:01:32,857 for... for President. 17 00:01:32,928 --> 00:01:35,988 I did and my Dad said he's a total Bush-man. 18 00:01:36,064 --> 00:01:39,227 That made my brother laugh really hard. 19 00:01:40,302 --> 00:01:43,965 Whenever my Uncle Stu comes over to play pool with my dad, 20 00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:49,170 my mom says the basement smells like a Cheech and Chong movie. 21 00:01:49,244 --> 00:01:51,712 Well... it's like this. 22 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:54,408 My dog ate my paper. 23 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,473 I checked, but he didn't poop it out. 24 00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,487 What a lovely sentiment, Mr. Etheridge. 25 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:04,082 Maybe your dog can eat the zero you'll be receiving too. 26 00:02:04,159 --> 00:02:07,993 - Aw, man! - Harsh. 27 00:02:08,063 --> 00:02:11,226 Miss Trinke? It's your turn now. 28 00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:27,181 My dad says life can be split into two categories: 29 00:02:27,249 --> 00:02:30,377 New Jersey... and New York. 30 00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:46,063 My dad was a Jersey boy who became the youngest 31 00:02:46,134 --> 00:02:49,262 and most successful music publicist in New York City. 32 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:53,467 By the time he was 27, he had 100 people working for him. 33 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:58,137 And even though they all loved him, he loved them even more. 34 00:02:58,213 --> 00:03:01,671 My fellow flacks and spin doctors. 35 00:03:02,317 --> 00:03:03,841 Salud. 36 00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:08,412 Daddy loved his job, but not as much as he loved my mom. 37 00:03:09,024 --> 00:03:12,482 Mommy was a book editor in New York City when her and Daddy met. 38 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,051 Daddy said their jobs were kind of the same... 39 00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:17,894 they made slight corrections for their clients. 40 00:03:17,966 --> 00:03:23,700 Because George Michael is a pimp who is all about the ladies, my friend. 41 00:03:23,772 --> 00:03:27,264 Come on, “I Want Your Sex”? That sound like he's singing to a guy? 42 00:03:28,143 --> 00:03:32,341 Daddy worked so much that sometimes Mommy could only see him late at night. 43 00:03:33,114 --> 00:03:36,572 Daddy says that's why they both loved the city so much... 44 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,642 it never went to sleep. 45 00:03:40,922 --> 00:03:43,652 And neither did him and Mommy. 46 00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:46,386 But after a year of romance in New York City, 47 00:03:46,461 --> 00:03:49,259 Daddy said it was time to show Mommy where he came from. 48 00:03:50,365 --> 00:03:54,563 So he took her home to New Jersey and put her through what he said 49 00:03:54,636 --> 00:03:58,299 was the biggest test their love would ever face: 50 00:03:58,373 --> 00:04:00,841 “Introducing her to my pop. “ 51 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,602 - Hey, how are ya? - How're ya doin'? 52 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,046 - How're ya doin' yourself? - This is Gertrude. 53 00:04:08,116 --> 00:04:10,846 Hi. Merry Christmas. 54 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:16,657 - And what do you do, Mr. Trinke? - Easy on the “Mr. Trinke”. It's Bart. 55 00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:18,852 I work for the borough, for 30 years now. 56 00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:22,363 He's the only man in Highlands licensed to operate the street sweeper. 57 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,627 Oh, man, I always wanted to ride in one of those things. 58 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:29,659 Well, you continue seeing my son, I can probably get you a turn at the wheel. 59 00:04:29,738 --> 00:04:33,640 I was only gonna sleep with him a few more times and then dump him, 60 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,335 but now, after an offer like that... 61 00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:37,970 Holy shit. Listen to the mouth on this one! 62 00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:40,446 Oh, yeah, they don't make 'em like Mom anymore, do they, Dad? 63 00:04:40,515 --> 00:04:43,848 - Now, listen, I'm goin' to the bar. - What a shock. 64 00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:47,354 If you guys are gonna do anything while I'm gone, stay the hell off of my bed. 65 00:04:47,422 --> 00:04:51,825 - You're going to a bar? - Didn't he tell ya? I'm an alcoholic. 66 00:04:51,893 --> 00:04:55,727 - Well, I wanna go to the bar too. - No, you don't wanna go to this bar. 67 00:04:55,797 --> 00:04:58,732 It's a bunch of old guys talkin' about how good they had it under Kennedy. 68 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,030 The man was a goddamn saint. 69 00:05:01,102 --> 00:05:04,936 I'm goin' to the bar with your dad. You can come if you want. 70 00:05:05,006 --> 00:05:06,974 No, that's OK. I'll stay here and do the dishes. 71 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:08,941 I only cooked. Why shouldn't I clean? 72 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:11,740 Suit yourself. But don't wash that pan. 73 00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:16,250 I got a layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don't want you scrubbin' it off. 74 00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,285 That “juice” is called grease, Dad. 75 00:05:18,353 --> 00:05:20,446 It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries. 76 00:05:20,522 --> 00:05:23,980 It's called juice. And it greases a father's insides 77 00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:27,687 so that he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year 78 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,753 when he can be bothered coming to visit him. 79 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:33,761 So that night, Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar, 80 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,262 where she got to meet Pop's other children, 81 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,806 his best friends Greenie and Block. 82 00:05:40,642 --> 00:05:43,304 Hey, your kid's cuttin' a rug. 83 00:05:47,882 --> 00:05:49,577 Who are you, Connie Chung? 84 00:05:51,152 --> 00:05:55,885 Daddy said, because Mommy survived her first trip to Jersey, 85 00:05:55,957 --> 00:05:58,118 he knew she was a keeper. 86 00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:08,992 He said they celebrated their engagement by going out for pizza. 87 00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:12,565 And that's how I got here. 88 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,302 Do we have enough of these at home, or should I steal some? 89 00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:18,209 If you're gonna steal something, steal some rubber gloves. 90 00:06:32,627 --> 00:06:36,085 - Thank you! - You're welcome! 91 00:06:37,098 --> 00:06:40,864 And with that, everyone lived happily ever after. 92 00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:42,969 Almost. 93 00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:45,597 Look, you've got two minutes, and then we have to go, OK? 94 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,903 - Or I'm gonna leave. - Would you stop rushing me? 95 00:06:47,976 --> 00:06:51,537 I don't understand how somebody who had all day sitting around to get ready 96 00:06:51,613 --> 00:06:53,376 waits till 20 minutes before we have to leave! 97 00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,678 You try getting anything accomplished with this big gut in your way! 98 00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:59,049 This is one of the few days of the year that I can be fired for being late! 99 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:04,080 Anytime that you wanna carry this baby, Ollie, you let me know! OK? 100 00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:07,321 I would be glad to go back to wearing regular dresses instead of this tent! 101 00:07:07,395 --> 00:07:09,727 The dress looks fine. It's gorgeous, OK? It's beautiful. 102 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,061 Yeah, until I'm standing next to Janet Jackson or Sheryl Crow. 103 00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:13,930 Then you'll see how not fine it looks. 104 00:07:14,002 --> 00:07:17,096 Gertie, I asked you, please, to use your own brush, OK? 105 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:19,036 - Can you just not use my brush? - Don't start. 106 00:07:19,107 --> 00:07:20,870 It's just that every time I wanna comb my hair 107 00:07:20,942 --> 00:07:25,470 I spend 15 minutes taking these long, bushy hairs out of my brush. 108 00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:27,174 And I mean, you ask me to... 109 00:07:29,017 --> 00:07:30,416 I'm sorry. 110 00:07:30,485 --> 00:07:33,852 Baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 111 00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:37,551 You don't understand what it's like to be this fat! 112 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,594 I've always been thin, and now I'm a disgusting pig! 113 00:07:40,662 --> 00:07:43,324 And it's my first time going to the Video Music Awards 114 00:07:43,398 --> 00:07:47,562 and all the other girls are gonna be skinny, and I'm gonna look like a whale! 115 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:51,799 Baby, baby, they're just skinny 'cause they're all coked-out whores. 116 00:07:51,873 --> 00:07:54,341 I wanna be a coked-out whore! 117 00:07:54,409 --> 00:07:56,400 OK, you can be a coked-out whore too. 118 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,913 You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore. 119 00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:02,882 - I'm sorry. - I should be more sensitive. I'm sorry. 120 00:08:02,951 --> 00:08:05,545 I should be more sensitive, honey. I know. 121 00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:07,315 - Yes. - I know. 122 00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:10,448 - Baby, we have to go now, OK? - OK. 123 00:08:10,525 --> 00:08:12,891 - I love you. We have to go now. - OK. 124 00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:15,452 - I love you too. - All right, let's go. OK? 125 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:18,397 Just give me two minutes. 126 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,791 - What time is it? - 20 after. 127 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:24,167 - She's gonna kill me! - I need the quote for the Madonna release. 128 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:29,870 OK. “Madonna trusts the public will judge for itself that... 129 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:33,345 this latest in a long line of breakthrough music videos 130 00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:36,474 is not the tasteless sexploitation it's accused of being.” 131 00:08:36,551 --> 00:08:40,749 - “It's artistic expression.” - Of what? 132 00:08:40,822 --> 00:08:46,192 Of one woman's constant need to show the world... her labia. 133 00:08:48,429 --> 00:08:51,557 Hey, can I use the word “labia” in a press release? 134 00:09:11,252 --> 00:09:13,243 See you next week. 135 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:19,958 One of these days, I'll get me one of those husbands that show up for Lamaze. 136 00:09:20,028 --> 00:09:22,588 I'm sorry, babe. It was Madonna. 137 00:09:22,664 --> 00:09:25,792 So you were late because of another woman. That's nice. 138 00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:29,496 - Come on. I still gotta do my job. - And I still gotta do mine too. 139 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,663 But I was at Lamaze on time. 140 00:09:34,409 --> 00:09:35,967 Look, all I'm saying is 141 00:09:36,044 --> 00:09:40,276 that guy who used to spend all night at the office and barely live in his apartment? 142 00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:42,339 That's not you anymore. 143 00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:44,942 Now you have to be the guy who's done by six 144 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:48,978 and comes home and hangs out with his family. 145 00:09:49,057 --> 00:09:51,389 That's the only way we're gonna work. 146 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,492 OK? 147 00:09:56,898 --> 00:09:58,422 OK. 148 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,731 - OK. - OK. 149 00:10:00,802 --> 00:10:02,793 OK! 150 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,902 - OK. - OK. 151 00:10:11,312 --> 00:10:13,644 - Can I help you? - Yes. 152 00:10:13,715 --> 00:10:16,548 My wife's water broke. She's gonna have a baby. 153 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,847 - You're gonna have to check in, hon. - Check in?! 154 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,879 Where, at the concierge desk?! Why are you being so combative with me?! 155 00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:26,393 First of all, take your hands off my uniform. 156 00:10:26,461 --> 00:10:29,919 And second, I'm gonna need a patient here. 157 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,829 This is my wife. This is the belligerent nurse 158 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,667 that's being so difficult with me, giving me such a hard time. 159 00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:42,073 - I'm sorry. He's a little panicky. - Can I get a wheelchair? 160 00:10:42,143 --> 00:10:43,838 - Let's get you up to delivery... - OK. 161 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,879 - ...and let him fill out the paperwork. - OK. 162 00:10:45,947 --> 00:10:48,415 - If we can trust him with a pen. - Here, sweetie. 163 00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:50,883 OK, just relax, breathe. Remember, take it easy. 164 00:10:50,952 --> 00:10:53,045 I love you. I'll be right there, OK? I love you. 165 00:10:53,121 --> 00:10:55,214 - I love you too. - OK, I love you. 166 00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:59,248 We've practiced this 1,000 times. It'll be great. How hard can it be? 167 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:04,960 - Push! You're doing good. - You're doing real good. 168 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,796 - No, I can't! I can't do it! - Take a breath. 169 00:11:07,869 --> 00:11:10,667 - It hurts! - I know it hurts. 170 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:13,798 It's OK, baby. Push. You can do it. 171 00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:17,038 Take a deep breath. In five, four... 172 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,409 - OK? Here you go. - ...three, two, one. 173 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,972 Push. Push harder, Gertie. Push harder. 174 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,678 The baby's crowning. I can see her. I just need one more push. 175 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:28,221 - Can you see her? - Holy shit! I can see the head! 176 00:11:28,289 --> 00:11:31,816 - One more. Breathe. - Push! It's almost there, baby. 177 00:11:31,893 --> 00:11:33,918 Push! You're doing it. Push! 178 00:11:33,995 --> 00:11:36,156 Push! 179 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:40,296 Here she comes! Here she comes! 180 00:11:40,368 --> 00:11:42,768 Here she is. 181 00:11:42,837 --> 00:11:45,362 - Do you wanna cut the cord, Dad? - Yeah. 182 00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:46,838 Scissors, please. 183 00:11:46,908 --> 00:11:52,813 Yes! And she's got all ten fingers, ten toes. 184 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:57,408 We'll get her all cleaned up and then we're gonna check... 185 00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:58,474 Gertie? 186 00:11:58,553 --> 00:12:00,453 - Baby, look. - Gertie? 187 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,419 Gertie! 188 00:12:03,424 --> 00:12:05,483 Gertie, can you hear me? 189 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:09,087 - She's OK. Sweetheart? - Nurse, get Dr. Mortimer right away! 190 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:11,324 She's resting. Who's Dr. Mortimer? 191 00:12:11,399 --> 00:12:12,388 Dr. Mortimer! 192 00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,400 - What's happening? - She's unresponsive. 193 00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:16,163 - Gertie! - Gertie! Gertie! 194 00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:19,206 Gertie, it's me! Gertie? 195 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:21,503 Healthy baby. Unresponsive. 196 00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:24,010 - Respiratory arrest. - Turn it around! 197 00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:27,605 - What's happening to my wife? - Let's open that IV, please. 198 00:12:27,682 --> 00:12:31,413 Baby, are you OK? Sweetheart, sweetheart, wake up! 199 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:34,784 Please, someone take Mr. Trinke outside. Please! 200 00:12:34,856 --> 00:12:36,881 I'm gonna have to intubate. 201 00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:39,222 Gertie, wake up, my love. Wake up. 202 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,386 Gertie, please. Wake up. 203 00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:45,090 Get off me! Gertie! 204 00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:48,499 I wanna stay with my wife! Gertie! Gertie! 205 00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:50,560 What's happening?! 206 00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:13,659 - Ollie... - If I don't get to go in there right now... 207 00:13:13,728 --> 00:13:15,195 - I swear to God! - Ollie... Ollie, calm down. 208 00:13:15,263 --> 00:13:17,390 Fuck you, calm down! OK?! 209 00:13:17,465 --> 00:13:19,433 I got dragged out of there, I haven't got to see my baby! 210 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:22,799 Your baby is fine. She's healthy, she's normal. 211 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:26,601 - What's wrong with Gertie? - I need you to calm down before I... 212 00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:29,336 Look, I'm calm! OK?! 213 00:13:33,314 --> 00:13:35,305 I'm calm. 214 00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:39,545 We think Gertie had an aneurysm. 215 00:13:41,856 --> 00:13:43,881 Is she OK? 216 00:13:46,227 --> 00:13:48,218 We lost her, Ollie. 217 00:13:49,597 --> 00:13:55,399 The strain of the contractions and the pushing caused the aneurysm to rupture. 218 00:13:55,469 --> 00:13:58,438 There are rarely symptoms for aneurysms... 219 00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:06,875 ♪ I drew a picture of you 220 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:14,287 ♪ You and your anchor tattoo 221 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:21,455 ♪ And saw the face that I knew 222 00:14:23,898 --> 00:14:26,662 ♪ Covered in shame 223 00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:35,936 ♪ You drew the bird that was here 224 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,244 ♪ The kind of sweet chanticleer 225 00:14:46,387 --> 00:14:50,585 ♪ But with a terrible fear 226 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:56,553 ♪ That the cage couldn't tame 227 00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:10,143 ♪ That's how I knew the story would break my heart 228 00:15:11,746 --> 00:15:14,715 ♪ When you're older 229 00:15:17,318 --> 00:15:24,986 ♪ That's how I knew the story would break my heart 230 00:15:42,076 --> 00:15:44,067 You sure you're OK with this, Dad? 231 00:15:44,145 --> 00:15:47,137 What, OK? She's my granddaughter. 232 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:51,480 Yeah, you can stay with me anytime, can't you? 233 00:15:51,552 --> 00:15:53,349 Yes, you can. 234 00:15:53,421 --> 00:15:57,255 Until you're a teenager, with the boys and a reefer. 235 00:15:57,324 --> 00:16:00,225 Then I don't wanna know about you. 236 00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:02,752 I wouldn't impose on you, you know. 237 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:08,063 I just got a lot of work... piled up from before and... 238 00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:13,937 - I'll be back late tonight, OK? - Yeah, take your time. 239 00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:22,781 Your daddy really misses your mommy, kid. I miss her too. 240 00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,943 Especially right now. 241 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,944 Oh, Jesus! 242 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,954 Yeah. 243 00:16:38,866 --> 00:16:41,699 - You wanted to see me, Ollie? - Yeah, come on in. 244 00:16:43,571 --> 00:16:46,472 I didn't think you were gonna be in this week. How you doin'? 245 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:48,531 - You all right? - I'm fine. 246 00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:51,942 Look, this piece in the Post. Why didn't you call me when this broke? 247 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:56,142 - I had to read about it in New Jersey. - It's cool. The nurse is a fan. 248 00:16:56,217 --> 00:16:59,414 Will she still be a fan when the Enquirer flashes a stack of 50s in her face? 249 00:16:59,487 --> 00:17:03,048 Listen, something like this breaks, I'm not in the city, 250 00:17:03,124 --> 00:17:05,319 you find me or you find another job. 251 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,053 Yeah, OK. 252 00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:12,093 OK. 253 00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:15,793 What else do we got? 254 00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,134 Will Smith. 255 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:21,072 - Who? - The Fresh Prince? 256 00:17:21,142 --> 00:17:23,576 “DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince” Fresh Prince? 257 00:17:23,644 --> 00:17:25,236 - Yeah. - What about him? 258 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:28,406 You remember the first album, the one with “Girls Ain't... 259 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,746 - Rock the House. Yeah? - Rock the House, right. 260 00:17:30,818 --> 00:17:35,755 You remember on the cover of the album Jazzy Jeff is holding a model of a house? 261 00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:36,949 Vaguely. 262 00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:39,993 Will Smith is donating that house to the Hard Rock Cafe. 263 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,688 Well, stop the presses. You put the word out yet? 264 00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:44,822 - Date pending, yeah. - Anybody give a shit? 265 00:17:44,899 --> 00:17:49,632 - Every outlet wants in. - You're kidding me? 266 00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,967 No. Even US News and World Report. 267 00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:55,008 Why? It's an eight-year-old album. 268 00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,976 Doesn't matter. Everyone loves that Fresh Prince TV show. 269 00:17:58,045 --> 00:18:01,776 He's got that movie coming out in a couple of weeks, Independence Day. 270 00:18:01,849 --> 00:18:05,615 - Let the film division handle it. - No, we can't. 271 00:18:05,686 --> 00:18:08,655 Will wants to keep his music career separate from his movie career. 272 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:12,988 Like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air is ever gonna have a movie career. 273 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:17,996 Get me everything you can. I'll put together a press kit on him, and we'll just do it. 274 00:18:18,065 --> 00:18:18,554 OK. 275 00:18:18,632 --> 00:18:21,897 - Patty, get me Kirsch. - Sure, Ollie. 276 00:18:21,969 --> 00:18:26,065 I can handle this Fresh Prince stuff if you wanna take a couple of days... 277 00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:30,406 Hey, Arthur, I can do my job. I'm all set, OK? You do your job. Go ahead. 278 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,968 Patty, did you not hear me? I asked you to please get Kirsch on the phone. 279 00:18:33,047 --> 00:18:34,344 - Ollie? - I'm trying. 280 00:18:34,415 --> 00:18:35,677 What, man? 281 00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:39,241 I know I told you at the funeral, but I'm really sorry... 282 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,185 I'm fine. OK, Arthur? I am fine! 283 00:18:41,255 --> 00:18:43,587 Please go do what I asked you to do now. 284 00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:45,921 - Kirschner on one. - OK! Put him on the phone then! 285 00:18:45,993 --> 00:18:48,553 - How's the baby? - The baby is fine, Arthur! 286 00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:51,029 Forget about the baby! I just wanna do my job! 287 00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:54,898 Jesus Christ, Ollie! What the hell you screamin' about? 288 00:18:54,969 --> 00:18:58,268 Patty, was that... 289 00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,551 I'm working on that right now. Don't worry. 290 00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:14,110 Just get there early and deal with the menu. OK? 291 00:19:14,188 --> 00:19:17,624 Hey! Are you deaf? The kid is cryin' up there. 292 00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:21,091 Can you deal with that? I'm doing something important. OK? Thanks. 293 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,220 What the hell could be more important than your kid crying? 294 00:19:23,297 --> 00:19:25,788 I have a memorabilia donation ceremony in the morning 295 00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:28,300 that my company is treating like a royal wedding 296 00:19:28,369 --> 00:19:32,237 'cause apparently the client's the most beloved American musician since Elvis. 297 00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:34,467 The kid's been screaming for the last ten minutes. 298 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,635 If it bothers you so much, go up there and give her a bottle. OK? 299 00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:40,544 Sorry. It's a nightmare trying to work at this house. 300 00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:44,247 Jesus! Let me call you back, OK? 301 00:19:45,219 --> 00:19:47,517 - What, Dad? - Listen, kid. 302 00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:52,082 I lost a wife too, remember? So I get how you're feelin'. But come on. 303 00:19:52,159 --> 00:19:54,992 You were married for what, 20 years? I got about 20 minutes. 304 00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:57,895 So you don't “get” how I'm feeling at all, OK? 305 00:19:57,965 --> 00:20:01,264 I'm sorry, Oliver, but that don't change the fact that you're a goddamn father now 306 00:20:01,335 --> 00:20:03,735 and you haven't acted like it since that kid got home from the hospital! 307 00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:08,138 I been calling in sick for a month to do the things you're supposed to be doin'! 308 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,609 Jesus Christ, if Gertie could see the shit you've been pulling... 309 00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:17,143 Gertie doesn't see anything anymore, Dad. She's dead. 310 00:20:17,918 --> 00:20:20,079 Yeah, she's dead. 311 00:20:23,257 --> 00:20:26,192 But you ain't. And neither is that kid. 312 00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,967 Yeah. It's nothin'. 313 00:20:42,643 --> 00:20:45,373 All right, so I'm gonna do the kit. It's almost finished. 314 00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:48,472 You can deal with the menu. What time's Will getting there? 315 00:20:59,727 --> 00:21:02,355 Dad, the baby's up! 316 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,825 Dad! The baby needs to be fed! 317 00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:14,337 Dad! 318 00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:24,006 What the hell...?! 319 00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:28,678 Are you nuts? What, are you trying to get killed?! 320 00:21:28,756 --> 00:21:31,987 - What are you doing? - Searching for Christ. What's it look like? 321 00:21:32,059 --> 00:21:34,857 It would have been nice if you'd told me you were leaving the house! 322 00:21:34,928 --> 00:21:38,523 That way, I could've given you the baby instead of driving all the way down here! 323 00:21:38,599 --> 00:21:42,228 - Now I'm gonna hit traffic! - No, you ain't giving me the baby. 324 00:21:46,874 --> 00:21:49,035 Hey! Excuse me? 325 00:21:49,109 --> 00:21:51,202 I got uptown and downtown to do this morning. 326 00:21:51,278 --> 00:21:55,146 - You're on your own with the kid today. - What?! No! 327 00:21:55,215 --> 00:21:58,116 I have this press conference I have to do this morning, Dad! You know that! 328 00:21:58,185 --> 00:22:02,087 - I got a job to do too. - If I don't leave right now... 329 00:22:02,156 --> 00:22:04,249 - So leave! - And do what with the baby?! 330 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:07,020 - Take her with you! - Goddamn it! I... 331 00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:11,020 Look, I know I haven't been helping out that much with the baby... 332 00:22:11,098 --> 00:22:13,089 Listen to you, “Helping out that much with the baby.” 333 00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:14,691 She's your daughter, for Christ's sakes! 334 00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:19,501 - What am I supposed to do with her?! - Try acting like her father, shithead! 335 00:22:20,974 --> 00:22:22,965 Goddamn it! 336 00:22:55,576 --> 00:22:57,066 Folks, I'm sorry. 337 00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:02,342 - Sorry. Steve. - What the...?! 338 00:23:02,416 --> 00:23:05,476 - I ordered diapers. Did they get here yet? - You mean baby diapers? 339 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,884 Why didn't you start half an hour ago? You shouldn't have waited for me! 340 00:23:07,955 --> 00:23:10,150 - We're waiting for Will. - Will's not here?! 341 00:23:10,224 --> 00:23:12,692 - No. - Are either of you guys Trinket? 342 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,659 - Close enough. Where is he? - We're not sure. 343 00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:17,458 Damn! That baby smells like shit. You know that, right? 344 00:23:17,531 --> 00:23:19,294 It's a good thing you finally showed up, man. 345 00:23:19,366 --> 00:23:22,665 - They're gettin' all rowdy out there. - Oh, Mother of God! 346 00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:24,533 - What? Jesus... - Ollie! 347 00:23:24,605 --> 00:23:28,234 Ollie, the guy from Rolling Stone... Holy shit! What is that smell? 348 00:23:28,308 --> 00:23:31,505 Grow up, Susan! It's a dirty diaper. What did the Rolling Stone guy say? 349 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,569 If we don't start in five minutes, they're leaving 350 00:23:33,647 --> 00:23:36,115 to go cover the Blues Traveler signing at Tower. 351 00:23:36,183 --> 00:23:39,414 - Jesus Christ! - Hey, you're doing that wrong. 352 00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:41,511 - What? - You're doing that wrong. 353 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:44,523 You're supposed to wipe front to back. You're wiping back to front. 354 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:47,924 You do that, you're just wiping the poop into her... 355 00:23:47,995 --> 00:23:49,826 crevice. 356 00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:52,226 Get outta here! Beat it! 357 00:23:52,299 --> 00:23:54,665 Mark my words, you're gonna give her the crotch-rot. 358 00:23:54,735 --> 00:23:56,828 - Would one of you do... You do this. - Oh, not me. No. 359 00:23:56,904 --> 00:23:58,895 Will you do this so I can go out there and calm them down? 360 00:23:58,972 --> 00:24:02,203 Why, because I'm a girl? I've never even seen a naked baby. No! 361 00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:04,904 Fine. Thank you very much. I'm gonna remember this. 362 00:24:04,978 --> 00:24:08,539 - How much of this am I supposed to use? - Should I get that guy back? 363 00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:11,015 If it's for the smell, I suggest you use a lot. 364 00:24:11,084 --> 00:24:15,578 You gotta turn... turn it. You gotta turn the top! 365 00:24:15,656 --> 00:24:18,284 Oh! Direct it at the baby. 366 00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:22,795 Thank you! Go out there, please, and tell them we're about to start! 367 00:24:27,768 --> 00:24:29,759 I'd say more. 368 00:24:34,841 --> 00:24:36,035 That's a lot. 369 00:24:39,012 --> 00:24:41,412 All right, the Fresh Prince is almost here. 370 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:44,575 Is that blow on your shirt? 371 00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:48,610 What do you think, Stretch? This is show business, right? 372 00:24:48,689 --> 00:24:52,090 - That was a joke, people. - Where's the Fresh Prince? 373 00:24:52,159 --> 00:24:54,491 The Fresh Prince is on his way. 374 00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:56,426 - It's crying. Will you take it? - No! No. 375 00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:59,795 Is that Jazzy Jeff? 376 00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:02,027 This is bullshit! Where's the Fresh Prince? 377 00:25:02,102 --> 00:25:04,798 Will someone please shut that girl up? 378 00:25:04,871 --> 00:25:07,669 Enough with the Romper Room, man! Bring out the Fresh Prince! 379 00:25:07,741 --> 00:25:09,641 Fresh Prince! Fresh Prince! 380 00:25:10,711 --> 00:25:13,236 Please take her. 381 00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:15,739 I... 382 00:25:18,318 --> 00:25:22,721 Goddamn it! Christ! Give her to me! Give me the baby. 383 00:25:33,767 --> 00:25:37,931 Would you people just shut the hell up with the “Fresh Prince” already?! 384 00:25:38,005 --> 00:25:40,064 He's a two-bit TV actor... 385 00:25:40,140 --> 00:25:42,438 who won't be around any longer than it takes for the ink to dry 386 00:25:42,509 --> 00:25:47,310 on the pages of the worthless rags you jerk-offs write for! 387 00:25:50,984 --> 00:25:52,849 Shit. 388 00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:57,813 - That guy's toast. - That's a hell of a quote. 389 00:26:08,001 --> 00:26:10,401 ♪ Well, I looked over Jordan 390 00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:13,098 ♪ And what did I see? 391 00:26:13,173 --> 00:26:14,731 It's all right, Arthur. 392 00:26:14,808 --> 00:26:20,269 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home 393 00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:25,977 ♪ A band of angels 394 00:26:26,053 --> 00:26:29,545 ♪ Coming after me 395 00:26:29,623 --> 00:26:35,220 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 396 00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:46,070 ♪ Swing low, sweet chariot 397 00:26:46,740 --> 00:26:52,178 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 398 00:26:52,245 --> 00:26:58,445 ♪ Swing low, sweet chariot 399 00:26:59,152 --> 00:27:03,987 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 400 00:27:06,059 --> 00:27:14,059 ♪ Coming for to carry me home 401 00:27:21,274 --> 00:27:22,764 We won't be here too long, Dad. 402 00:27:22,843 --> 00:27:26,335 We'll be out of your hair as soon as I get another job. 403 00:27:26,413 --> 00:27:29,211 I have some feelers out to the other firms right now. 404 00:27:29,282 --> 00:27:32,342 As soon as this whole thing blows over... 405 00:27:32,419 --> 00:27:37,083 It's OK to stay here as long as you need to, till you get back on your feet. 406 00:27:37,157 --> 00:27:39,717 - I appreciate that. - On one condition. 407 00:27:39,793 --> 00:27:44,287 - Here we go. - You put the kid to bed every night. 408 00:27:44,364 --> 00:27:47,356 - That's it? - For starters. 409 00:27:47,434 --> 00:27:50,528 And no whores. I don't want no whores in my house. 410 00:27:51,271 --> 00:27:54,934 I'm not really a whoremonger, Dad. 411 00:27:55,008 --> 00:27:57,533 Here, the kid gets this. 412 00:27:57,611 --> 00:28:00,944 That's cute. 8:00, you both get a bottle. 413 00:28:01,014 --> 00:28:05,542 Just shut the hell up and go be a father, would ya, please? 414 00:28:29,242 --> 00:28:31,233 No? 415 00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:42,613 Yeah, this is only temporary, us... you know... 416 00:28:42,689 --> 00:28:45,317 living with your grandfather here. 417 00:28:47,027 --> 00:28:48,927 So... 418 00:28:50,497 --> 00:28:53,625 how about that Fresh Prince thing? 419 00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:55,930 It was quite a show. 420 00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:59,198 Your dad's one big horse's ass. 421 00:29:01,241 --> 00:29:04,233 Daddy's ex-bosses said the guys who did PR for Hitler 422 00:29:04,311 --> 00:29:08,179 have a better chance of working in this business again than Daddy does. 423 00:29:12,052 --> 00:29:14,384 So, OK... 424 00:29:15,822 --> 00:29:18,290 How're you doin'? 425 00:29:21,728 --> 00:29:25,960 Yeah... You know, you kinda look like your mom. 426 00:29:26,032 --> 00:29:29,934 Like a squishier, balder version of your mom. 427 00:29:35,809 --> 00:29:37,777 Man... 428 00:29:37,844 --> 00:29:41,177 I just wish you could've gotten to meet your mom. 429 00:29:42,148 --> 00:29:47,051 I know she wanted to meet you... in a big, bad way. 430 00:29:49,823 --> 00:29:52,087 In a big, bad way. 431 00:29:56,496 --> 00:30:01,126 Sometimes, Daddy wishes he'd have died instead of Mommy. 432 00:30:02,002 --> 00:30:04,937 Because Mommy never would've... 433 00:30:05,005 --> 00:30:08,805 let work get in the way of... getting to know you, 434 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:13,608 like Daddy has for the last... month or so. 435 00:30:16,683 --> 00:30:21,347 It's just that Daddy... he didn't expect Mommy... 436 00:30:22,389 --> 00:30:24,914 to leave the way she did. 437 00:30:27,761 --> 00:30:33,165 It's just really hard on Daddy, who's been trying to fill up his days with work, 438 00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:38,535 so he wouldn't have to think about Mommy never being around again. 439 00:30:39,539 --> 00:30:42,440 I just loved your mom so much. 440 00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,500 You know? 441 00:30:45,478 --> 00:30:47,912 She really lit my world on fire. 442 00:30:50,450 --> 00:30:52,611 When that happens... 443 00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:59,581 you kinda think it'll go on like that until one of you dies. You know? 444 00:30:59,659 --> 00:31:02,753 You just don't expect... 445 00:31:02,829 --> 00:31:06,094 I miss her so much. So, so much. 446 00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:17,472 And you're a little piece of Mommy. And that makes you really special to Daddy. 447 00:31:30,490 --> 00:31:32,481 Just don't go anywhere. 448 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:36,051 'Cause you're the next best thing to Mommy, and I love you so much. 449 00:31:36,129 --> 00:31:38,393 And I'll always be here for you. 450 00:31:38,465 --> 00:31:41,662 And I'm sorry about the way I've been acting. 451 00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:46,172 I promise you... I'll be better now. 452 00:31:46,239 --> 00:31:49,572 I'm gonna be the best daddy in the world. 453 00:31:49,642 --> 00:31:54,636 'Cause that's what Mommy wanted. And that's what you deserve. 454 00:31:56,182 --> 00:31:58,616 And that's all I am now. 455 00:31:59,819 --> 00:32:02,287 I'm just your dad. 456 00:32:20,774 --> 00:32:23,902 Your dad likes to run off at the mouth sometimes, I know. 457 00:32:28,415 --> 00:32:31,043 Your mother wasn't a fan, either. 458 00:32:32,886 --> 00:32:36,515 You wanna see a picture of your mom? I have one. 459 00:32:38,258 --> 00:32:42,160 This was your mommy. She was really pretty. 460 00:32:42,762 --> 00:32:45,253 OK. You can keep it. 461 00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:49,494 Daddy's got a bunch. 462 00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:53,361 There you go. 463 00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:06,580 Goodnight, Gertie. 464 00:33:31,811 --> 00:33:34,177 ♪ Worlds... 465 00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:38,178 ♪ They rise and fall 466 00:33:40,053 --> 00:33:40,815 Gertie! 467 00:33:40,887 --> 00:33:42,980 ♪ Within her eyes 468 00:33:44,157 --> 00:33:46,751 Your chariot awaits, Princess. 469 00:33:46,826 --> 00:33:48,623 Let's go! 470 00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:53,331 We gotta go! Argh! 471 00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,697 ♪ To fly in the sky 472 00:33:55,768 --> 00:33:57,668 - How was school, good? - Mm-hm. 473 00:33:57,737 --> 00:33:59,329 - You have a nice time? - Yep. 474 00:33:59,405 --> 00:34:02,238 Remember to put your seat belt on? Know where to find it? 475 00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:02,797 Yep. 476 00:34:02,876 --> 00:34:08,337 Lock and load. Comin' around. Get ready. 477 00:34:17,290 --> 00:34:20,123 - Ready? - Punch it, Chewy! 478 00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,790 - Can we go see Cats? - Absolutely not. 479 00:34:25,865 --> 00:34:26,923 Why? 480 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,434 Cats was the second-worst thing that ever happened to New York City. 481 00:34:29,502 --> 00:34:33,302 - Besides, Cats closed three years ago. - We never do anything cool. 482 00:34:33,373 --> 00:34:37,002 You're ridin' in the Batmobile, aren't ya? How cool is that? 483 00:34:37,076 --> 00:34:38,600 Oh, my God. 484 00:34:38,678 --> 00:34:41,476 Look, no one's more depressed than me that driving the street sweeper 485 00:34:41,548 --> 00:34:43,880 is considered the height of excitement in my life. 486 00:34:43,950 --> 00:34:45,781 I used to live in New York City. 487 00:34:45,852 --> 00:34:47,843 I could've gone to see Cats three times a day. 488 00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:51,789 - It's not like I ever ask for anything. - Oh-ho-ho! 489 00:34:51,858 --> 00:34:54,122 “And the Oscar goes to Gertie Trinke, 490 00:34:54,194 --> 00:34:57,357 for her performance in Laying It On Thick For My Old Man.” 491 00:34:59,032 --> 00:35:01,000 What is it with you and Cats all of a sudden? 492 00:35:01,067 --> 00:35:03,968 I wanna sing a Cats song in the big show, like everybody else. 493 00:35:04,037 --> 00:35:06,835 - What big show? - There's gonna be this big show at school. 494 00:35:06,906 --> 00:35:10,103 All the people have to sing a song with people from their family. 495 00:35:10,176 --> 00:35:14,169 - Are you inviting me to this big show? - Duh! Yeah, you and Pop too. 496 00:35:14,247 --> 00:35:17,683 Oh-ho! I'm sure that'll go over huge with your pop. 497 00:35:17,750 --> 00:35:19,911 Can Uncle Greenie and Uncle Block be in it too? 498 00:35:19,986 --> 00:35:23,387 Those men are not your uncles. They're barely even your peers. 499 00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:24,514 Pee-ers? 500 00:35:24,591 --> 00:35:28,254 - When is this big show? - Right before Thanksgiving break. 501 00:35:28,328 --> 00:35:30,091 Does it have to be something from the Bible? 502 00:35:30,163 --> 00:35:32,723 I don't think so. Is Cats in the Bible? 503 00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:35,427 The Satanic Bible, yes. 504 00:35:44,444 --> 00:35:47,106 - What? - When you taking her to see the cats? 505 00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:49,546 Jesus, you too? 506 00:35:49,616 --> 00:35:51,379 Gertie! 507 00:35:53,019 --> 00:35:55,112 Do you even know what Cats is, Dad? 508 00:35:55,188 --> 00:35:59,022 - What, I don't read the papers? - You don't read that paper. 509 00:35:59,092 --> 00:36:00,923 What are you doing with a New York Times? 510 00:36:00,994 --> 00:36:02,518 They ran out of the Ledger. 511 00:36:02,595 --> 00:36:05,086 They don't have the Jumble in the Times, Dad. 512 00:36:05,164 --> 00:36:07,462 Shit. 513 00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:10,226 - Where were you? - I was in the bathroom. 514 00:36:10,303 --> 00:36:13,636 - Why didn't I hear the toilet flush? - Oh. I forgot. 515 00:36:13,706 --> 00:36:16,470 OK, march your butt back upstairs and flush that toilet. 516 00:36:16,542 --> 00:36:18,305 And when I say no about something, 517 00:36:18,378 --> 00:36:20,869 like, I don't know, Cats, maybe, I mean no. 518 00:36:20,947 --> 00:36:22,209 OK? 519 00:36:22,282 --> 00:36:26,810 - Pop, you were supposed to be subtle! - Why do you teach her words like that? 520 00:36:26,886 --> 00:36:29,377 You're gonna have to mow the park for me tomorrow. I can't do it. 521 00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:32,424 - Why the hell not? - I have an appointment in the city at 11:00. 522 00:36:32,492 --> 00:36:34,983 Jesus, kid, why do you keep doin' it to yourself? 523 00:36:35,061 --> 00:36:37,120 How many of these interviews you gotta go on 524 00:36:37,196 --> 00:36:38,595 before you get it through your thick head 525 00:36:38,665 --> 00:36:40,997 they don't want you in that business anymore? 526 00:36:41,067 --> 00:36:43,831 For Christ's sakes, you made fun of that Prince Charles guy. 527 00:36:43,903 --> 00:36:45,894 Thank you. 528 00:36:45,972 --> 00:36:49,533 First of all, Dad, I didn't “make fun” of anybody. 529 00:36:49,609 --> 00:36:53,010 I made one remark about Will Smith, the Fresh Prince. 530 00:36:53,079 --> 00:36:55,172 Sooner or later, everyone's gonna forget about that 531 00:36:55,248 --> 00:36:57,273 and I'm gonna go back to doing what I'm really good at, 532 00:36:57,350 --> 00:37:00,945 instead of sweeping streets and plowing snow and picking up garbage. 533 00:37:01,020 --> 00:37:02,351 OK? 534 00:37:02,422 --> 00:37:07,086 If you're going into the city anyway, at least take the kid to see the cats. 535 00:37:08,861 --> 00:37:10,419 Oh, God... 536 00:37:10,496 --> 00:37:13,363 I'll tell you what, since there is no more Cats, 537 00:37:13,433 --> 00:37:18,871 Gertie, why don't you come over here and pick out another play that you wanna see? 538 00:37:18,938 --> 00:37:22,601 Look through here. Anything you want. Go nuts. 539 00:37:22,675 --> 00:37:26,441 - Cats is a show? - Yeah, you read the papers. 540 00:37:28,848 --> 00:37:30,679 You think you're slick, don't ya, young lady? 541 00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:33,048 Next time you're lookin' for a partner in crime, 542 00:37:33,119 --> 00:37:35,383 you're gonna have to aim higher than your grandfather. 543 00:37:35,455 --> 00:37:38,947 - He's soft in the head. - I heard that! 544 00:37:41,928 --> 00:37:44,192 Here. Can we go see this show? 545 00:37:44,263 --> 00:37:47,232 Sweeney Todd? Do you know that this has a lot of singing? 546 00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:50,292 - It's still a play. - OK. I'm just checking. 547 00:37:50,370 --> 00:37:53,703 Your dad one time lost a bet with someone at his work, 548 00:37:53,773 --> 00:37:57,573 and he had to go see a singing play, done by people on roller skates. 549 00:37:57,643 --> 00:38:00,578 - Cool! - Your dad didn't think so. 550 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,871 I handled primarily recording artists 551 00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:06,882 but when I initially trained, I trained in film PR, so I can do that too. 552 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:13,153 I... took the last six or seven years off. I was raising my daughter in New Jersey. 553 00:38:13,226 --> 00:38:17,595 But I kept abreast, so... I'm pretty comfortable jumping back in. 554 00:38:17,663 --> 00:38:20,860 What else can I tell you guys? 555 00:38:20,933 --> 00:38:23,595 That's it. I can start, you know, right away. 556 00:38:27,607 --> 00:38:31,168 You guys all right? 557 00:38:34,013 --> 00:38:38,677 Are you the Ollie Trinke? The one who used to work at Mandell Kirschner? 558 00:38:40,553 --> 00:38:41,076 Yeah. 559 00:38:41,154 --> 00:38:44,954 - Son of a bitch! - Yes! I told you, Reynolds! Pay up! 560 00:38:45,024 --> 00:38:47,424 - I got it. - Am I missin' somethin'? 561 00:38:47,493 --> 00:38:50,326 Nah, nah, he just bet me you were the Ollie Trinke, 562 00:38:50,396 --> 00:38:52,023 the one who pulled “The Fresh Prince”. 563 00:38:52,098 --> 00:38:54,362 - They named it? - Of course! 564 00:38:54,434 --> 00:38:56,766 Are you kidding? You're a legend, man! 565 00:38:56,836 --> 00:38:59,634 You did what every flack only dreams about doing! 566 00:38:59,705 --> 00:39:01,673 - Which was what? - You went apeshit! 567 00:39:01,741 --> 00:39:03,709 You trashed your client back to the Stone Age. 568 00:39:03,776 --> 00:39:06,074 - Yeah. - We bow to you, man. 569 00:39:06,145 --> 00:39:08,545 - You're like a god around here. - Yep, exactly. 570 00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:11,981 - God enough to get a job? - No. 571 00:39:12,051 --> 00:39:15,748 - What, are you insane? - No chance, Trinke! 572 00:39:17,190 --> 00:39:20,353 - Pop, I'm home! - Yeah, like I give a shit. 573 00:39:20,426 --> 00:39:22,223 You know, thanks a lot, Pop! 574 00:39:30,069 --> 00:39:33,129 - That's what it looks like? - I guess. 575 00:39:33,206 --> 00:39:36,334 - What does yours look like? - Not like that. 576 00:39:36,409 --> 00:39:38,172 Yeah? Let me see. 577 00:39:38,244 --> 00:39:40,235 All right. 578 00:39:41,414 --> 00:39:44,747 Gertie! It's time for Bryan to go home. 579 00:39:54,894 --> 00:39:56,725 OK... 580 00:40:03,703 --> 00:40:06,672 What are your intentions? 581 00:40:06,739 --> 00:40:09,799 What are your intentions with my daughter? 582 00:40:09,876 --> 00:40:13,835 - Do you plan on marrying her? - I don't know. 583 00:40:13,913 --> 00:40:17,679 Well, only married boys and girls... 584 00:40:17,750 --> 00:40:20,150 show each other their... 585 00:40:20,219 --> 00:40:22,779 their, you know... 586 00:40:22,855 --> 00:40:25,221 parts. 587 00:40:25,291 --> 00:40:26,315 OK? 588 00:40:28,594 --> 00:40:33,293 OK, Bryan, you can go now. If you come back, come back with a ring. 589 00:40:33,366 --> 00:40:35,197 Yes, Mr. Trinke. 590 00:40:35,268 --> 00:40:37,031 - Bye, Gertie. - Bye. 591 00:40:37,103 --> 00:40:39,230 Goodbye, Bryan. 592 00:40:41,807 --> 00:40:43,434 OK. 593 00:40:44,377 --> 00:40:46,937 Do you have any... 594 00:40:48,147 --> 00:40:51,742 questions about what you... 595 00:40:51,817 --> 00:40:53,307 you know... 596 00:40:55,054 --> 00:40:57,921 you know, whatever, saw? 597 00:41:02,495 --> 00:41:04,690 Do you have what Bryan has? 598 00:41:08,801 --> 00:41:13,204 Yes, I have one... too. 599 00:41:15,775 --> 00:41:18,005 Is yours as big as his? 600 00:41:20,980 --> 00:41:23,039 Sadly, yes. 601 00:41:23,616 --> 00:41:26,278 - Can we rent a movie? - Yes. 602 00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:32,914 - So they wouldn't give you a job? - No. But apparently, Daddy's a legend. 603 00:41:32,992 --> 00:41:36,018 You don't need that job anyway. You already got a job. 604 00:41:36,095 --> 00:41:39,360 Yes, well, Daddy used to have a job 605 00:41:39,432 --> 00:41:41,730 where a nightly shower was an option, not a necessity. 606 00:41:41,801 --> 00:41:43,996 - You know what job you should do? - What's that? 607 00:41:44,070 --> 00:41:46,766 You should be a dance teacher, like Johnny in Dirty Dancing. 608 00:41:46,839 --> 00:41:51,242 I should? Should I say, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”? 609 00:41:51,310 --> 00:41:53,175 Oh, can we rent Dirty Dancing again? 610 00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:57,147 Dirty Dancing ranks one notch below Cats in my book. 611 00:41:57,216 --> 00:41:59,741 Can you pick out something else? 612 00:42:01,721 --> 00:42:03,882 Can we rent this? 613 00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:07,653 Absolutely not. Go pick out something from the children's section. 614 00:42:07,727 --> 00:42:11,493 - All those movies suck. - Watch your language. 615 00:42:39,458 --> 00:42:41,926 Nah, that's... 616 00:42:41,994 --> 00:42:44,519 No, I guess that's it. Yep, yep, that's it. 617 00:42:46,065 --> 00:42:49,193 I'll just take this and whatever the kid's getting. 618 00:42:49,268 --> 00:42:52,795 Just go ahead and put it in the bag. I'm all set. 619 00:42:52,872 --> 00:42:54,863 It's good. 620 00:42:57,209 --> 00:43:00,872 “Bi-Bi Guys, featuring Curious Jordie”? 621 00:43:02,782 --> 00:43:06,479 Interesting choice. Does the wife know you're looking into your options? 622 00:43:06,552 --> 00:43:08,679 It's... I got the... 623 00:43:09,655 --> 00:43:11,885 - I got the wrong box by accident. - Oh, right. 624 00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:15,120 Would you mind... exchanging that for me for something... 625 00:43:15,194 --> 00:43:17,890 anything you can get your hands on that's, you know... 626 00:43:17,963 --> 00:43:21,660 - So, then you want something... - ...that's non-bi. 627 00:43:27,406 --> 00:43:29,203 Can I have your membership card, please? 628 00:43:29,275 --> 00:43:31,072 Yeah, sure. 629 00:43:31,143 --> 00:43:34,579 Do you mind if I asked you a few questions about your renting practices? 630 00:43:34,647 --> 00:43:36,581 Sure. 631 00:43:36,649 --> 00:43:38,412 Really? 632 00:43:38,484 --> 00:43:43,285 Do you always rent adult titles with your daughter in tow, or is this the first time? 633 00:43:43,355 --> 00:43:44,253 Excuse me? 634 00:43:44,323 --> 00:43:47,656 When you rent porn, do you usually do it with family around, 635 00:43:47,727 --> 00:43:50,525 or is this like a, you know, special occasion? 636 00:43:51,731 --> 00:43:56,327 - Do I have to answer this? - I'm a grad student, writing a thesis paper. 637 00:43:56,402 --> 00:44:01,237 “A Bird in the Hand: The Family Man and the Pornographic Fixation”. 638 00:44:02,875 --> 00:44:05,207 OK. I would rather not take part. 639 00:44:05,277 --> 00:44:06,642 Really? 640 00:44:06,712 --> 00:44:09,909 Frank, is Bi-Bi Guys a one or a two-night rental? 641 00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:14,009 - What are you getting, Daddy? - Yeah, Daddy. Let's just take a look... 642 00:44:14,086 --> 00:44:16,054 Let's not, OK? 643 00:44:19,358 --> 00:44:23,317 Would you mind not asking me those questions when my daughter's with me? 644 00:44:23,395 --> 00:44:25,920 How about when you bring these back? 645 00:44:25,998 --> 00:44:27,932 That's... Yeah. 646 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:33,199 In an effort to get honest feedback, leave the kid and the wife at home. 647 00:44:33,272 --> 00:44:36,537 My mom's dead. She died when I was born. 648 00:44:36,609 --> 00:44:38,440 Oh, Jesus. 649 00:44:39,145 --> 00:44:41,443 Man, I'm sorry. I didn't... 650 00:44:41,514 --> 00:44:43,948 No, you didn't. 651 00:44:46,685 --> 00:44:48,414 Let's go. 652 00:44:50,456 --> 00:44:52,651 I'm sorry. 653 00:44:52,725 --> 00:44:54,750 Do I have to? 654 00:44:54,827 --> 00:44:59,958 Major Damage didn't have to go to bed when he fought the Tiki Terrors! 655 00:45:00,032 --> 00:45:02,000 - Melvin! - And do they... 656 00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:03,898 I'll get it. 657 00:45:03,969 --> 00:45:07,302 You will not. You're not even supposed to be up this late. 658 00:45:07,373 --> 00:45:09,637 Watch your video. 659 00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:12,506 - But, Mom! - Say, “OK, Mom.” 660 00:45:12,578 --> 00:45:15,240 Say, “OK, Mom.” 661 00:45:16,115 --> 00:45:17,480 Hi. 662 00:45:17,550 --> 00:45:19,780 Hey! You're the lady from the video store. 663 00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:25,452 Let's not use that term too loosely, OK? Go back and watch your video. 664 00:45:27,893 --> 00:45:29,121 Yes? 665 00:45:29,195 --> 00:45:31,186 I just wanted to come here 666 00:45:31,263 --> 00:45:35,029 and tell you that I'm really sorry about earlier tonight. 667 00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:38,866 I feel like shit about what I said and your daughter and everything. 668 00:45:38,938 --> 00:45:41,907 Well... you should. 669 00:45:41,974 --> 00:45:44,169 You know that kid was crying in the car the whole way home? 670 00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,973 - Oh, no... - No, I wasn't. 671 00:45:47,513 --> 00:45:51,176 - Get back inside and watch your video! - Nice! Real nice. 672 00:45:51,250 --> 00:45:54,947 See, now you have to let me interview you for my paper. 673 00:45:55,020 --> 00:45:56,544 Is that why you're here? 674 00:45:56,622 --> 00:45:59,557 I just think you'd make one hell of an interesting case study. 675 00:45:59,625 --> 00:46:03,891 The sympathetic widower who doesn't have time to date 'cause he's raising a kid, 676 00:46:03,963 --> 00:46:07,296 so he rents porn instead. I mean, I think that's very interesting stuff. 677 00:46:07,366 --> 00:46:09,857 Jesus Christ! You've got some nerve, lady. 678 00:46:09,935 --> 00:46:13,302 And besides, I'd really like to make it up to you. 679 00:46:13,372 --> 00:46:16,364 For what I said, and for embarrassing you before that. 680 00:46:16,442 --> 00:46:19,468 You're really having a banner evening. You're batting a thousand tonight. 681 00:46:19,545 --> 00:46:22,981 You're Ollie, right? I'm Maya Harding. 682 00:46:25,918 --> 00:46:27,909 “Hi, Maya. Nice to meet you.” 683 00:46:27,987 --> 00:46:28,976 Hi. 684 00:46:29,054 --> 00:46:31,716 Come on, why don't you let me take you out one day this week? 685 00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:35,521 You do eat lunch when you're not knee-deep in adult movies, right? 686 00:46:36,528 --> 00:46:39,622 I appreciate it, but... no thanks. 687 00:46:39,698 --> 00:46:42,690 Ollie, come on, you're ruining my karma level here. 688 00:46:42,768 --> 00:46:45,362 What, buying me one lunch is gonna square you with Krishna? 689 00:46:45,437 --> 00:46:46,927 Hare Hare! 690 00:46:49,942 --> 00:46:52,240 Is Monday OK? Sound good? 691 00:46:52,311 --> 00:46:57,305 I mean, I was thinking nothing fancy. I was thinking maybe, like, the diner. 692 00:46:57,383 --> 00:47:00,546 - Around noon? - No! 693 00:47:02,021 --> 00:47:03,886 Noon it is! 694 00:47:03,956 --> 00:47:05,685 Oh... 695 00:47:05,758 --> 00:47:07,783 See you there. Bye! 696 00:47:10,529 --> 00:47:12,656 An incredibly strange woman. 697 00:47:22,541 --> 00:47:25,237 I did not hear the toilet flush. 698 00:47:30,249 --> 00:47:31,682 Thank you. 699 00:47:35,587 --> 00:47:38,852 - Can we get popcorn? - This isn't the movies, sweetheart. 700 00:47:38,924 --> 00:47:44,260 They don't sell popcorn here. This is Broadway. This is class. 701 00:47:44,330 --> 00:47:46,764 ♪ And if you're beautiful 702 00:47:46,832 --> 00:47:47,821 ♪ What then? 703 00:47:47,900 --> 00:47:50,266 ♪ With yellow hair like wheat 704 00:47:50,336 --> 00:47:54,670 ♪ I think we shall not meet again, my little dove 705 00:47:54,740 --> 00:47:57,800 ♪ My sweet Johanna 706 00:48:02,681 --> 00:48:05,377 ♪ Goodbye, Johanna 707 00:48:05,818 --> 00:48:08,412 ♪ You're gone and yet you're mine 708 00:48:08,921 --> 00:48:11,185 ♪ I'm fine, Johanna 709 00:48:11,256 --> 00:48:14,987 ♪ I'm fine 710 00:48:15,427 --> 00:48:19,261 OK. You see that floor. Now look three windows in from the right. 711 00:48:19,331 --> 00:48:23,199 See that window? That's where we used to live before we lived with Pop. 712 00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:25,862 We'd still live there if we lived in the city. 713 00:48:25,938 --> 00:48:28,873 - If Mommy was still alive? - Yep. 714 00:48:29,775 --> 00:48:31,299 - Dad... - Yes? 715 00:48:31,377 --> 00:48:33,845 Do you miss Mommy? 716 00:48:33,912 --> 00:48:36,710 I do. Every day. 717 00:48:37,449 --> 00:48:40,976 - What was she like? - I've told you a million times. 718 00:48:41,053 --> 00:48:44,580 - I know, but I forget. - No, I don't think you forget. 719 00:48:44,656 --> 00:48:47,454 I think you just like to hear me tell you. Which is OK. It's all right. 720 00:48:47,526 --> 00:48:49,187 You can ask about your mommy as much as you want. 721 00:48:49,261 --> 00:48:50,785 So tell me already. 722 00:48:50,863 --> 00:48:53,832 Well, she was pushy, like you were right there. 723 00:48:53,899 --> 00:48:57,892 She was beautiful, like you are right now. 724 00:48:57,970 --> 00:49:01,531 And she was... smart... 725 00:49:02,674 --> 00:49:05,507 and strong, like you'll grow up to be one day. 726 00:49:05,577 --> 00:49:06,874 I'm smart now. 727 00:49:06,945 --> 00:49:09,470 I know. I wasn't impugning your intelligence or anything. 728 00:49:09,548 --> 00:49:11,539 What's “impugning” mean? 729 00:49:11,617 --> 00:49:13,744 Oh, not so smart now, are you? 730 00:49:13,819 --> 00:49:16,447 - That's a big word. - Yes, you're right, it is. 731 00:49:16,522 --> 00:49:19,150 Let's see. To impugn means to criticize. 732 00:49:19,224 --> 00:49:23,558 So... Pop's always impugning you, right? 733 00:49:24,063 --> 00:49:25,553 Well, he thinks he is. 734 00:49:25,631 --> 00:49:27,997 But he's just talking to make sure he's still alive. 735 00:49:28,067 --> 00:49:30,968 Pop is a very, very old man. 736 00:49:32,871 --> 00:49:34,862 What do you think? You like the city? 737 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:37,770 It's OK. But I like Highlands better. 738 00:49:37,843 --> 00:49:39,435 - You do? - Yeah. 739 00:49:39,511 --> 00:49:43,277 My school's there, and my friends... And we can rent movies there. 740 00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:46,943 Well, if memory serves, you can rent movies here too. 741 00:49:47,019 --> 00:49:50,113 Yeah, but not from that pretty lady at the video store. 742 00:49:50,189 --> 00:49:52,555 - Oh, you think she's pretty, do you? - Don't you? 743 00:49:52,624 --> 00:49:55,422 Isn't that why you're taking her on a date? 744 00:49:55,494 --> 00:49:59,760 It's not a date. The only girl I take on dates is you, OK? 745 00:49:59,832 --> 00:50:01,299 This is a date. We're on a date. 746 00:50:01,366 --> 00:50:03,129 - We are? - Mm-hm. 747 00:50:03,202 --> 00:50:06,467 - It doesn't feel like a date. - It doesn't? 748 00:50:06,538 --> 00:50:09,336 Well, I can fix that. 749 00:50:11,276 --> 00:50:12,106 Sir! 750 00:50:30,863 --> 00:50:34,765 How often do you rent adult movies? 751 00:50:35,934 --> 00:50:39,301 - Do I really have to do this? - You have nothing to be ashamed about. 752 00:50:39,371 --> 00:50:43,000 Interest in adult film can be healthy, as long as it's not habitual. 753 00:50:43,075 --> 00:50:47,842 - So come on, how often? - Three or four times a week. 754 00:50:48,614 --> 00:50:51,082 OK, maybe I was wrong. You should be ashamed. 755 00:50:51,150 --> 00:50:53,516 You have a real talent for making the subject feel open 756 00:50:53,585 --> 00:50:55,678 and comfortable in a safe environment. 757 00:50:55,754 --> 00:50:58,848 So you're renting it presumably to masturbate to, right? 758 00:50:58,924 --> 00:51:01,415 - Good God! - Come on, don't be such a tight-ass. 759 00:51:01,493 --> 00:51:02,585 We're all adults here. 760 00:51:02,661 --> 00:51:04,458 I know I'm an adult. How old are you, exactly? 761 00:51:04,530 --> 00:51:06,521 - I'll be 26 in March. - 26? 762 00:51:06,598 --> 00:51:09,692 You still haven't learned some things aren't polite to talk about in public? 763 00:51:09,768 --> 00:51:13,363 If it makes you feel any better, I do it, like, twice a day. 764 00:51:13,772 --> 00:51:17,299 - Good God! - What can I tell ya? I get bored easily. 765 00:51:17,376 --> 00:51:19,844 You're gonna get carpal tunnel syndrome. 766 00:51:19,912 --> 00:51:23,439 Don't get all judgmental with me. You're no slouch yourself. 767 00:51:23,515 --> 00:51:26,348 - Well, no, I... - I just have a healthy sexual appetite. 768 00:51:26,418 --> 00:51:28,682 Why don't you go out and get yourself a boyfriend? 769 00:51:28,754 --> 00:51:30,984 Why don't you just go out and get yourself a girlfriend? 770 00:51:31,056 --> 00:51:33,149 I work all day, I hang out with my kid all night. 771 00:51:33,225 --> 00:51:35,489 So you'd rather hang out with your kid than get laid? 772 00:51:35,561 --> 00:51:40,555 - Yeah. - Aw... that's kinda sweet. 773 00:51:41,700 --> 00:51:44,328 I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke. 774 00:51:44,403 --> 00:51:46,564 OK. Can I go home now? 775 00:51:46,638 --> 00:51:49,505 No. When was the last time you had sex? 776 00:51:50,909 --> 00:51:53,810 I would rather not disclose that information. 777 00:51:53,879 --> 00:51:55,540 Oh, come on, don't clam up on me now. 778 00:51:55,614 --> 00:51:57,809 You're gonna remain anonymous in my paper. 779 00:51:57,883 --> 00:52:01,182 Ha! Anonymity doesn't concern me. Embarrassment does. 780 00:52:01,253 --> 00:52:04,654 - Why would you be embarrassed? - Because it's been a long time. 781 00:52:04,723 --> 00:52:08,056 - How long? - A long time. 782 00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:11,061 Come on, champ. Own it. Just put it out there. 783 00:52:11,129 --> 00:52:13,757 I swear I won't make any editorial cracks about it. 784 00:52:13,832 --> 00:52:16,300 Not in front of you, at least. 785 00:52:19,438 --> 00:52:23,499 - Seven years. - Seven years? 786 00:52:23,575 --> 00:52:26,305 Since my wife died, yeah. 787 00:52:27,379 --> 00:52:31,281 You know, a dumbfounded, mouth-agape look of shock 788 00:52:31,350 --> 00:52:34,251 might be construed by some as an editorial crack too. 789 00:52:34,653 --> 00:52:37,213 - I'm sorry. - It's OK. It's fine. 790 00:52:37,289 --> 00:52:40,656 No, it's not. I mean, it's not at all. 791 00:52:40,726 --> 00:52:44,890 With all due respect to your wife, you've gotta get back on the horse, man. 792 00:52:44,963 --> 00:52:47,898 - No, I don't, actually. - Yes, you do. 793 00:52:47,966 --> 00:52:51,265 - No, I don't. - Yes, you... Get up. 794 00:52:51,336 --> 00:52:54,464 - Are we done? - With this, for now. But come with me. 795 00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:56,473 Lord have mercy. 796 00:52:58,043 --> 00:53:00,102 - Where are we going? - To your place. 797 00:53:00,178 --> 00:53:02,669 We're gonna have some sex. 798 00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:09,979 - What, did you forget something? - No. Look, I appreciate the offer. 799 00:53:10,889 --> 00:53:14,484 I'm very flattered. But I can't do this. 800 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,060 What's the matter? Don't you think I'm cute? 801 00:53:17,129 --> 00:53:19,597 - Of course I think you're cute. - Well, then? 802 00:53:19,665 --> 00:53:22,634 Look, I'm not just celibate because of my daughter. 803 00:53:22,701 --> 00:53:24,896 There are a lot of emotional issues in it too. 804 00:53:24,970 --> 00:53:29,600 I mean, my wife may be dead. I'm still very much in love with her. 805 00:53:29,675 --> 00:53:32,803 Hey, I respect that. I'm not telling you to fall in love with me here, 806 00:53:32,878 --> 00:53:34,903 and I'm not trying to replace your wife. 807 00:53:34,980 --> 00:53:39,542 I'm just talking about two consenting adults having some casual sex. 808 00:53:39,618 --> 00:53:44,180 Probably some really short casual sex, with you being a little out of practice. 809 00:53:44,256 --> 00:53:47,191 - I can't do it, I'm sorry. - What are you, a monk? 810 00:53:47,259 --> 00:53:49,955 God! Let's look at this logically, OK? 811 00:53:50,028 --> 00:53:53,589 - You rent porn and touch yourself, right? - Would you lower your voice? 812 00:53:53,665 --> 00:53:56,828 If you're not sweating how your wife would feel about you and porn, 813 00:53:56,902 --> 00:54:01,100 then you shouldn't sweat what I'm proposing 'cause it's the same thing. 814 00:54:01,173 --> 00:54:05,166 Only somebody else is doing the touching and you're saving a $2 rental fee. 815 00:54:06,611 --> 00:54:11,105 Come on, stud. Man cannot live on porn alone. 816 00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:30,529 Oh, God... 817 00:54:31,570 --> 00:54:33,834 I'm home! 818 00:54:33,905 --> 00:54:34,997 Pop?! 819 00:54:35,073 --> 00:54:39,373 - Oh, my God... What do I do? - Get in the bathroom! 820 00:54:57,262 --> 00:55:00,857 - Pop? - No, honey, it's me. 821 00:55:00,932 --> 00:55:03,924 Daddy? Why aren't you at work? 822 00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:08,831 Because I had to come home and do... I had to... 823 00:55:08,907 --> 00:55:11,171 come home and take a shower. 824 00:55:12,177 --> 00:55:15,271 - Can we rent a movie? - Yeah, sure, sure, sure. 825 00:55:15,347 --> 00:55:18,544 As soon as I get done up here and dry off, I'll come down. 826 00:55:18,617 --> 00:55:20,414 OK. 827 00:55:22,821 --> 00:55:24,550 Oh, my God. That was so close. 828 00:55:24,623 --> 00:55:26,921 What do we do now? I'm wet. 829 00:55:33,999 --> 00:55:36,229 Sorry, Dad, I forgot again. 830 00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:50,037 Hi, honey. 831 00:55:50,115 --> 00:55:53,380 You remember Maya. From the video store. 832 00:56:05,864 --> 00:56:09,766 - What are your intentions? - Excuse me? 833 00:56:09,835 --> 00:56:11,894 What are your intentions with my father? 834 00:56:11,970 --> 00:56:13,961 Like, do you plan on marrying him? 835 00:56:14,406 --> 00:56:16,169 I don't... 836 00:56:16,241 --> 00:56:20,143 Because I was taught that only married girls show their girl parts to boys. 837 00:56:20,212 --> 00:56:25,275 - Right, Daddy? - Right. Yes. 838 00:56:25,684 --> 00:56:27,413 Mm-hm. 839 00:56:27,486 --> 00:56:30,512 Can we rent all the movies we want for free? 840 00:56:31,156 --> 00:56:32,145 What? 841 00:56:32,224 --> 00:56:34,749 Can we rent all the movies we want for free? 842 00:56:34,826 --> 00:56:37,852 Yes! Yes, yes. For God's sake, yes. 843 00:56:37,929 --> 00:56:42,229 If it means we're not, you know, that we're not in trouble anymore. 844 00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:43,699 And... Right, Maya? Yes! 845 00:56:43,768 --> 00:56:45,963 Whatever you want. It's on the house. 846 00:56:46,037 --> 00:56:48,835 Even Dirty Dancing? 847 00:56:54,312 --> 00:56:55,006 Yeah. 848 00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,776 And we can do Sweeney Todd for the show at school? 849 00:56:57,849 --> 00:56:58,816 What? 850 00:56:58,884 --> 00:57:00,977 We can do Sweeney Todd for the show at school? 851 00:57:01,052 --> 00:57:04,715 - No, honey, that's too grown-up. - Really? 852 00:57:05,724 --> 00:57:09,421 Oh man, what am I gonna tell Pop about you guys? 853 00:57:13,798 --> 00:57:16,494 Fine. We can do Sweeney Todd for the show at school. 854 00:57:16,568 --> 00:57:18,399 OK! 855 00:57:19,070 --> 00:57:21,971 Would you shut the hell up already? Christ, Greenie, you're always... 856 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,473 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh! 857 00:57:23,542 --> 00:57:28,639 Christ Almighty. You wearin' a... wearin' a towel? 858 00:57:30,148 --> 00:57:32,139 Just as long as you didn't do it on my bed. 859 00:57:32,250 --> 00:57:36,653 Oh, Jesus Christ, it was one time in high school! You wanna let it go already? 860 00:57:36,721 --> 00:57:40,851 I banged a broad in my parents' bed once. It was nice. 861 00:57:41,593 --> 00:57:45,757 Terrific. Just so you know, we didn't “bang”. 862 00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:47,821 - What, did ya get to third base? - No! 863 00:57:47,899 --> 00:57:50,026 Not that it's any of your business, but we didn't do anything. 864 00:57:50,101 --> 00:57:52,592 We lost our heads for a second, then cooler heads prevailed 865 00:57:52,671 --> 00:57:55,231 and we stopped before we did anything we'd both regret. 866 00:57:55,307 --> 00:57:58,105 - The kid busted in on 'em. - Oh. 867 00:57:58,176 --> 00:58:00,610 Let's talk about something else for a second, like this water main. 868 00:58:00,679 --> 00:58:02,977 - How bad is it? - Definitely needs to be replaced. 869 00:58:03,048 --> 00:58:05,949 Jesus Christ. If we gotta shut down Bay Avenue for that, 870 00:58:06,017 --> 00:58:08,008 this town is gonna throw a shit fit. 871 00:58:08,086 --> 00:58:09,314 I'm sure. 872 00:58:09,387 --> 00:58:13,323 Hey, kid, you haven't had to inconvenience the taxpayers on the job yet. 873 00:58:13,391 --> 00:58:16,292 They get like animals. Remember back in '88? 874 00:58:16,361 --> 00:58:17,794 South Peak Street. 875 00:58:17,862 --> 00:58:21,263 Holy shit, I thought they were gonna crucify us upside down. 876 00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:25,736 - Like St Peter. - Who are you, the Holy Father? 877 00:58:25,804 --> 00:58:29,433 Everybody knows I meant St Peter. You don't have to explain my shit. 878 00:58:29,507 --> 00:58:30,872 I'm just saying... 879 00:58:30,942 --> 00:58:33,069 When I was down there, how many cars did you wave around? 880 00:58:33,144 --> 00:58:34,133 Three or four. 881 00:58:34,212 --> 00:58:37,807 Three or four cars for the whole half hour I was down there? 882 00:58:37,882 --> 00:58:39,110 Well, it was rush hour. 883 00:58:39,184 --> 00:58:42,517 Yeah, I don't think the legion of commuters in the Highlands of New Jersey 884 00:58:42,587 --> 00:58:47,615 are gonna object to us closing down a small portion of Bay Avenue for a few days. 885 00:58:47,692 --> 00:58:50,957 One at a time, please! One at a time! 886 00:58:52,731 --> 00:58:55,757 - We're doing the best we can. - You were saying? 887 00:58:55,834 --> 00:59:00,294 Why doesn't somebody just go up there and explain to them what's happening? 888 00:59:00,372 --> 00:59:02,932 Why don't you do it, Daddy? Wasn't that your old job? 889 00:59:03,008 --> 00:59:06,409 Making people like singers by saying nice things about 'em? 890 00:59:07,145 --> 00:59:10,842 - Yes, baby, but... - No, the kid's got a point there. 891 00:59:10,915 --> 00:59:12,974 As a guy who used to sling bullshit for a living, 892 00:59:13,051 --> 00:59:15,485 I nominate you to go up there and say something. 893 00:59:15,553 --> 00:59:17,077 - Oh, you do? - Yeah. 894 00:59:17,155 --> 00:59:19,953 - It can't hurt. - Go ahead. 895 00:59:22,127 --> 00:59:24,357 Thanks, Pop. 896 00:59:26,097 --> 00:59:28,190 Control yourselves! 897 00:59:29,534 --> 00:59:31,525 He's goin' up there. 898 00:59:34,739 --> 00:59:38,038 Folks, one second. Please. Folks. 899 00:59:38,109 --> 00:59:42,239 My name's Oliver Trinke and I'm with the borough. 900 00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:45,282 So I guess that makes me the least popular guy in the room. 901 00:59:51,856 --> 00:59:54,484 I want to assure you that... 902 00:59:54,559 --> 00:59:58,723 this Bay Avenue job will be a very minimal inconvenience. 903 00:59:58,797 --> 01:00:00,788 It'll only take three days at the most. 904 01:00:00,865 --> 01:00:03,095 Bullshit! Bullshit! 905 01:00:11,976 --> 01:00:15,673 Folks, a little decorum! A little decorum! 906 01:00:27,559 --> 01:00:29,322 Folks, one second. 907 01:00:29,394 --> 01:00:33,160 I just have one more thing that I just want to add. 908 01:00:42,874 --> 01:00:45,968 I live in this town. I see you guys headin' to work every day. 909 01:01:12,537 --> 01:01:14,061 I'm telling you, it was amazing! 910 01:01:14,139 --> 01:01:19,270 And I get up there and I weave this web of bullshit so profoundly mesmerizing, 911 01:01:19,344 --> 01:01:22,780 - I turn the entire place around! - You silver-tongued devil, you. 912 01:01:22,847 --> 01:01:26,749 Everything I was saying was just right on the money, you know? 913 01:01:26,818 --> 01:01:30,652 Maybe that's 'cause you weren't actually slinging as much bullshit as you thought. 914 01:01:30,722 --> 01:01:33,987 “Get out there and play in the dirt”? I mean, what... I made that up! 915 01:01:34,058 --> 01:01:36,754 Sounds pretty good to me. Hey, Gert. 916 01:01:36,828 --> 01:01:41,128 The sad thing is, I had a greater sense of accomplishment from the water-main thing 917 01:01:41,199 --> 01:01:43,190 than anything else I've done in the past seven years. 918 01:01:43,268 --> 01:01:46,260 I get it. I mean, you set out to do something and you did it. 919 01:01:46,337 --> 01:01:48,931 So you feel drunk with power now. Makes sense. 920 01:01:49,007 --> 01:01:52,374 That's just it. I was the youngest flack ever put in charge of its entire division... 921 01:01:52,443 --> 01:01:53,842 in the history of Mandell Kirschner. 922 01:01:53,912 --> 01:01:55,846 - I know. - That's an accomplishment. 923 01:01:55,914 --> 01:01:59,281 Convincing a town to approve something that's already in their best interest? 924 01:01:59,350 --> 01:02:02,842 - That's just delayed common sense. - Yeah, but that's your life now. 925 01:02:02,921 --> 01:02:06,448 I mean, being the youngest flack in the history of blah, blah, blah... 926 01:02:06,524 --> 01:02:09,925 that's not you anymore. I mean, that might never have been you. 927 01:02:09,994 --> 01:02:12,326 Oh, it was me. It was me with my own apartment, 928 01:02:12,397 --> 01:02:14,661 me richer, me with more self-respect. 929 01:02:14,732 --> 01:02:16,962 Like it or not, this is you. 930 01:02:17,035 --> 01:02:21,369 I mean, forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are. 931 01:02:22,373 --> 01:02:26,241 - I guess I'll just get this. - Gert, what are you doing? 932 01:02:26,311 --> 01:02:30,213 I distinctly remember your father telling you you could get Dirty Dancing. 933 01:02:30,281 --> 01:02:34,115 - Oh, yeah! He did! - Yeah. 934 01:02:35,620 --> 01:02:37,485 Thanks for that, by the way. 935 01:02:37,555 --> 01:02:41,252 Incidentally, she's been asking me when she's gonna grow boobies like yours. 936 01:02:41,326 --> 01:02:44,124 - Oh, my God! - She's seven, OK? 937 01:02:44,195 --> 01:02:48,131 If you want, I can give her the old “boobie” talk my mom gave me when I was a kid. 938 01:02:48,199 --> 01:02:50,997 Does that talk include using the word “knockers”? 939 01:02:59,010 --> 01:03:03,709 I'm glad there's no, you know, awkwardness between us. 940 01:03:03,781 --> 01:03:08,980 After the... well, the thing that happened last week with... 941 01:03:09,053 --> 01:03:11,544 Ollie, I was gonna give you a mercy jump. 942 01:03:12,190 --> 01:03:15,785 The moment passed. It's no big deal. 943 01:03:15,860 --> 01:03:19,387 - Just friends, right? - Yeah, friends. 944 01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,967 “Mercy jump.” Stay away from my kid. 945 01:03:33,912 --> 01:03:36,847 - No, that's too round. - Shut up. 946 01:03:36,915 --> 01:03:40,681 - Shut up! Shut up! - Just make it... 947 01:03:40,752 --> 01:03:44,244 - Would you shut the hell up?! - All right! 948 01:03:44,322 --> 01:03:47,155 There's people gettin' their throats cut in this thing. 949 01:03:47,225 --> 01:03:48,522 Yep. 950 01:03:48,593 --> 01:03:51,153 And your father said you could do this for the show? 951 01:03:51,229 --> 01:03:52,662 Yep. 952 01:03:53,364 --> 01:03:56,595 Why the hell would he OK you singing this shit? 953 01:03:56,668 --> 01:04:00,195 Because I saw him and Maya naked in the shower. 954 01:04:00,271 --> 01:04:02,034 Oh, yeah. 955 01:04:02,106 --> 01:04:04,597 That'll do it. 956 01:04:26,698 --> 01:04:30,828 Can I speak with an Arthur Brickman, please? 957 01:04:40,511 --> 01:04:42,877 - Ollie. - Arthur. 958 01:04:42,947 --> 01:04:44,938 - Hey, man. - How're you doin'? 959 01:04:45,016 --> 01:04:48,213 - Good. How are you? - Good. Good to see you. 960 01:04:48,286 --> 01:04:52,347 You know, the town voted unanimously, approved the water main, so... 961 01:04:52,423 --> 01:04:54,755 You were always great with a crowd. 962 01:04:54,826 --> 01:04:57,920 Well, except that... that once, of course. 963 01:04:57,996 --> 01:05:01,329 But that's it. It was the polar opposite of the Fresh Prince incident. 964 01:05:01,399 --> 01:05:07,235 It was like I was on the top of my game. Which is why I wanted to see ya. 965 01:05:07,305 --> 01:05:11,139 - I wanna ask you a favor. - Anything, man. What? 966 01:05:11,209 --> 01:05:15,373 Is there any way that you could get me an interview with your firm? 967 01:05:19,417 --> 01:05:21,885 You're serious? 968 01:05:21,953 --> 01:05:24,285 I thought it was weird that you wanted to eat here. 969 01:05:24,355 --> 01:05:27,381 - Oh, I know it's gonna be tough... - Tough? 970 01:05:27,458 --> 01:05:32,054 Ollie, you called a roomful of press a bunch of jerk-offs, 971 01:05:32,130 --> 01:05:34,997 and trashed a client who's one of the biggest movie stars on the planet. 972 01:05:35,066 --> 01:05:37,534 - He wasn't big then. - No, but he is now. 973 01:05:37,602 --> 01:05:40,435 You wanna know how big? When I left Mandell Kirschner, 974 01:05:40,505 --> 01:05:43,702 there were some firms that wouldn't even look at my resume because I... 975 01:05:43,775 --> 01:05:46,175 No offense, but because I worked under you. 976 01:05:48,046 --> 01:05:51,743 I've only been at Angellotti a year now... 977 01:05:51,816 --> 01:05:55,217 You know what, man? Forget I asked. Don't worry about it. Seriously. 978 01:05:55,286 --> 01:05:58,187 - It was stupid. I got carried away... - No, let me finish. 979 01:05:58,256 --> 01:06:00,781 What I was gonna say was... 980 01:06:00,858 --> 01:06:06,990 I've been waiting years to be in a position to be able to help you out, and now I am. 981 01:06:07,065 --> 01:06:09,898 It's not gonna be an easy sell, but... 982 01:06:09,967 --> 01:06:13,926 I think I can get you in a room with Angellotti himself. 983 01:06:14,739 --> 01:06:17,503 - Thank you so much. - Of course. 984 01:06:20,178 --> 01:06:22,339 You know, you're a lot more affectionate than I remember. 985 01:06:22,413 --> 01:06:26,213 It's just... I miss it so much, you know? 986 01:06:26,284 --> 01:06:28,775 It's the only thing I was ever any good at. 987 01:06:28,853 --> 01:06:31,651 Oh, this is great. I can move back here... 988 01:06:31,722 --> 01:06:35,123 I can put Gertie in a really good, expensive private school... 989 01:06:35,193 --> 01:06:38,094 I can get her a nanny, you know? 990 01:06:38,162 --> 01:06:42,360 It'll be like that whole Fresh Prince thing never even happened. 991 01:06:42,433 --> 01:06:47,632 I'll work on the old man when I get back to the office and call you tonight if it's a go. 992 01:06:47,705 --> 01:06:49,036 Oh, great. 993 01:06:49,107 --> 01:06:51,302 ♪ Excuse me 994 01:06:51,375 --> 01:06:53,104 ♪ Dear, see to the customers 995 01:06:53,177 --> 01:06:55,077 ♪ Guess what's the... 996 01:06:55,146 --> 01:06:57,080 - ♪ Quick now! - ♪ My heart's a-flutter 997 01:06:57,148 --> 01:06:59,048 ♪ When I pound the floor 998 01:06:59,117 --> 01:07:00,812 ♪ It's a signal to show that I'm ready to go 999 01:07:00,885 --> 01:07:04,548 ♪ When I pound the floor... I have to get the phone. 1000 01:07:04,622 --> 01:07:07,523 Come on, Pop! Do Dad's part. 1001 01:07:07,592 --> 01:07:09,150 - Me? - Yeah. 1002 01:07:09,227 --> 01:07:10,819 Yeah, go do that. 1003 01:07:11,863 --> 01:07:14,423 Hello? Hey, Arthur. 1004 01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:20,299 You're kidding? 1005 01:07:23,941 --> 01:07:26,808 ♪ I'll pound three times Three times... 1006 01:07:26,878 --> 01:07:30,507 Why do I have to sing your dad's part? I'm supposed to be the guy who gets clipped. 1007 01:07:30,581 --> 01:07:34,642 - You are, but you're Dad's understudy too. - What the hell is that? 1008 01:07:34,719 --> 01:07:36,949 It means if Daddy breaks a leg, then you do his part for him. 1009 01:07:37,021 --> 01:07:39,819 - So, come on, try it again. - You're doin' good. 1010 01:07:39,891 --> 01:07:41,950 ♪ I'll pound three times... 1011 01:07:42,026 --> 01:07:43,687 ♪ Three times! 1012 01:07:43,761 --> 01:07:46,525 Wait, wait, wait! I'm supposed to be the understudy now. 1013 01:07:46,597 --> 01:07:48,064 I cannot work like this. I'm sorry. 1014 01:07:48,166 --> 01:07:51,226 - This is no way to run a show. - You were good. 1015 01:07:51,302 --> 01:07:53,668 You can go back to waiting in the wings, Tommy Tune. 1016 01:07:53,738 --> 01:07:56,263 I'll be doin' my own singing henceforth. 1017 01:07:56,340 --> 01:07:58,535 - Who's Tommy Tune? - Tommy Tune is a man 1018 01:07:58,609 --> 01:08:02,204 that you can get a chance to see live and on Broadway 1019 01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:04,976 when we move back to New York City! 1020 01:08:07,285 --> 01:08:08,479 - What? - What? 1021 01:08:08,553 --> 01:08:09,383 - What? - What? 1022 01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:10,750 Yeah, what? 1023 01:08:10,821 --> 01:08:14,814 I was just on the phone with an old friend that I worked with at Mandell Kirschner. 1024 01:08:14,892 --> 01:08:18,453 I had lunch with him and I asked him if he'd get me an interview with his new firm. 1025 01:08:18,529 --> 01:08:22,295 Jesus, another interview, Ollie? Come on, when are you gonna learn? 1026 01:08:22,366 --> 01:08:26,894 Well, smart guy, he just called me, said he sat down with his boss, 1027 01:08:26,971 --> 01:08:29,166 sold me to his boss like I was the cure for cancer. 1028 01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:33,370 It just so happens that a little spot has opened up in their music department. 1029 01:08:33,444 --> 01:08:36,174 Boom! After six years of being a pariah, 1030 01:08:36,247 --> 01:08:38,306 I'm gonna get back in! 1031 01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:40,077 I'm talkin' about no more street sweeper, 1032 01:08:40,151 --> 01:08:42,619 no more picking up garbage, and no more water main! 1033 01:08:42,687 --> 01:08:45,622 I'm talking press lines, I'm talking about parties! 1034 01:08:45,690 --> 01:08:48,090 I'm talking about a Westside address, 1035 01:08:48,159 --> 01:08:50,252 I'm talkin' about a good school for Gertie! 1036 01:08:50,328 --> 01:08:51,989 But I already go to a good school. 1037 01:08:52,063 --> 01:08:56,830 Yes, honey, but you're gonna go to a way, way better school in New York City. 1038 01:08:56,901 --> 01:08:59,495 You're gonna be able to take the subway to school. Won't that be fun? 1039 01:08:59,570 --> 01:09:01,765 But the subway's full of junkies and mole-men. 1040 01:09:04,375 --> 01:09:06,502 - Well, they are. - Don't listen to Pop. 1041 01:09:06,577 --> 01:09:08,602 What do I tell you? He makes things up! 1042 01:09:08,679 --> 01:09:10,977 - You'll see. The subways are great. - I don't wanna see. 1043 01:09:11,048 --> 01:09:14,506 I don't wanna go to a school up in the city. I wanna go to my school. 1044 01:09:14,585 --> 01:09:17,110 Honey, it's gonna be too far of a drive for me to come back down here 1045 01:09:17,188 --> 01:09:19,019 to take you to school in New Jersey every morning. 1046 01:09:19,090 --> 01:09:22,025 So let's not move to the city. Let's stay here with Pop. 1047 01:09:22,093 --> 01:09:26,029 Sweetheart, I'm too old to be living with my father. 1048 01:09:26,097 --> 01:09:28,190 I need to get my own place. 1049 01:09:28,266 --> 01:09:30,564 And Pop... I mean, look at him, he's a mad-dog. 1050 01:09:30,635 --> 01:09:33,297 He doesn't want us around here getting in his way, crampin' his style... 1051 01:09:33,371 --> 01:09:37,398 - Do you, Pop? - That's all horseshit. 1052 01:09:37,475 --> 01:09:38,965 You know... thanks, Pop. 1053 01:09:39,043 --> 01:09:41,603 I don't wanna move to the city. I like it here. 1054 01:09:41,679 --> 01:09:44,477 Pop says you can live here as long as you want. 1055 01:09:44,548 --> 01:09:47,176 Baby, remember when I took you to see Sweeney Todd? 1056 01:09:47,251 --> 01:09:49,344 How much fun was that? We had a good time, right? 1057 01:09:49,420 --> 01:09:52,287 I mean, if we move to New York City, we can do that every night! 1058 01:09:52,356 --> 01:09:54,347 Except for the nights you're working, of course. 1059 01:09:54,425 --> 01:09:56,393 You know what? Why don't you shut up for a second, OK? 1060 01:09:56,460 --> 01:09:58,587 I'm trying to talk to my daughter. 1061 01:09:58,663 --> 01:10:01,063 You love New York City. You told me you loved the city. 1062 01:10:01,132 --> 01:10:02,622 - No, I didn't. - Oh! 1063 01:10:02,700 --> 01:10:04,691 - I said it was OK. - Jesus Christ! 1064 01:10:04,769 --> 01:10:08,899 I said I like Highlands better. Why would you want some other job anyway, Dad? 1065 01:10:08,973 --> 01:10:10,304 You get to ride the Batmobile! 1066 01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:13,309 Baby, Daddy doesn't wanna drive the Batmobile! 1067 01:10:13,377 --> 01:10:16,312 Daddy wants to eat sushi! Daddy wants to hail cabs! 1068 01:10:16,380 --> 01:10:18,473 Daddy wants to have a doorman! 1069 01:10:18,549 --> 01:10:21,074 Daddy wants to lord it over magazine editors! 1070 01:10:21,152 --> 01:10:26,385 Daddy loved his old job, and he's missed it every day since he's been gone. 1071 01:10:26,457 --> 01:10:30,450 Daddy wants to do that job. Daddy doesn't wanna pick up garbage forever! 1072 01:10:30,528 --> 01:10:32,928 But you told everybody at the meeting that your job's good 1073 01:10:32,997 --> 01:10:34,828 because you don't have to wear a suit. 1074 01:10:34,899 --> 01:10:39,097 Yes, but Daddy was just saying that to get them to say yes to a water main. 1075 01:10:39,170 --> 01:10:41,434 So you were just lying to everybody? 1076 01:10:42,573 --> 01:10:46,703 Look, OK, I'll tell you what. I'll go to the meeting, all right? 1077 01:10:46,777 --> 01:10:49,268 If I don't like what the man says, then I won't take the job. 1078 01:10:49,347 --> 01:10:50,678 Now you're lying to me! 1079 01:10:50,748 --> 01:10:53,273 All right, look, young lady! I'm gonna go to this job interview on Monday, 1080 01:10:53,351 --> 01:10:54,477 whether you like it or not. 1081 01:10:54,552 --> 01:10:55,644 Wait, this Monday? 1082 01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:58,382 - Yes. - Ollie, you can't go on Monday. 1083 01:10:58,456 --> 01:11:01,118 - Why? - Because that's the day of my show! 1084 01:11:04,161 --> 01:11:08,621 Oh, shit. It is, isn't it? 1085 01:11:08,699 --> 01:11:12,191 Well, it's at four, so I can, you know, make it back in time. 1086 01:11:12,269 --> 01:11:13,566 But my show's at five! 1087 01:11:13,637 --> 01:11:15,901 On what planet are you gonna get back here by five 1088 01:11:15,973 --> 01:11:17,702 if you've got a meeting in the city at four? 1089 01:11:17,775 --> 01:11:19,902 Just lay off me for a second! I forgot about the show. 1090 01:11:19,977 --> 01:11:22,172 How could you forget? What, are you stupid? 1091 01:11:22,246 --> 01:11:24,510 Gertie, this job is very important to Daddy. 1092 01:11:24,582 --> 01:11:26,914 What about my show? Isn't that important to you? 1093 01:11:26,984 --> 01:11:28,884 Yes, honey, that's even more important to me. 1094 01:11:28,953 --> 01:11:32,753 Then don't go to your stupid meeting about your stupid new job in the stupid city! 1095 01:11:32,823 --> 01:11:35,883 - That's enough, young lady! - I don't even want you in the show! 1096 01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:37,723 You're not even a good Sweeney Todd anyway. 1097 01:11:37,795 --> 01:11:41,026 Pop's way better. Even Uncle Greenie and Uncle Block are better than you. 1098 01:11:41,098 --> 01:11:42,929 Those men are not your uncles! 1099 01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,764 Oh, no, but we're good enough to build sets for her show, right? 1100 01:11:45,836 --> 01:11:48,327 Sorry, I didn't mean that. Where are you going? 1101 01:11:48,406 --> 01:11:51,933 I don't wanna be around you! I don't even want you to come to the show to watch it. 1102 01:11:52,009 --> 01:11:56,412 - Oh, come on! - I don't! I don't even like you anymore! 1103 01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:59,938 Get back here, young lady! Hey! I'm talkin' to you! 1104 01:12:00,017 --> 01:12:02,611 Hey, young lady! Get back here, young lady! 1105 01:12:02,686 --> 01:12:05,314 No! You can't tell me what to do! I don't have to do anything you say! 1106 01:12:05,389 --> 01:12:06,583 - Yes, you do! - Why? 1107 01:12:06,657 --> 01:12:08,090 Because I'm your father, that's why! 1108 01:12:08,159 --> 01:12:10,286 - So what? - Don't you yell at me, Gertrude! 1109 01:12:10,361 --> 01:12:11,385 I'll yell at you all I want! 1110 01:12:11,462 --> 01:12:13,953 Blah, blah, blah! I'm not moving to the stupid city! 1111 01:12:14,031 --> 01:12:17,091 All right, that's it! You are moving to the city and you're gonna like it, and that's the end. 1112 01:12:17,168 --> 01:12:19,602 I hate you! I wish you'd died, not Mommy! 1113 01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:21,103 I hate you right back, you little shit! 1114 01:12:21,205 --> 01:12:25,107 You and your mother took my life away and I just want it back! 1115 01:12:34,151 --> 01:12:36,176 God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean... 1116 01:12:36,253 --> 01:12:37,413 - Get off me! - I'm sorry... 1117 01:12:37,488 --> 01:12:39,479 Get off of me! 1118 01:12:46,864 --> 01:12:49,458 What the hell's the matter with you? 1119 01:13:09,753 --> 01:13:13,450 ♪ I took my love and I took it down 1120 01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:19,561 ♪ I climbed a mountain and I turned around 1121 01:13:21,098 --> 01:13:28,061 ♪ And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills 1122 01:13:28,138 --> 01:13:32,438 ♪ Till the landslide brought me down 1123 01:13:34,345 --> 01:13:39,476 ♪ Oh, mirror in the sky what is love? 1124 01:13:40,818 --> 01:13:47,223 ♪ Can the child within my heart rise above? 1125 01:13:47,291 --> 01:13:53,958 ♪ Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? 1126 01:13:54,031 --> 01:14:00,834 ♪ Can I handle the seasons of my life? 1127 01:14:02,273 --> 01:14:05,674 ♪ I don't know 1128 01:14:13,584 --> 01:14:19,352 ♪ Well, I've been afraid of changing 1129 01:14:19,423 --> 01:14:24,986 ♪ 'Cause I've built my life around you 1130 01:14:26,830 --> 01:14:30,231 ♪ But time makes you bolder 1131 01:14:30,868 --> 01:14:33,564 ♪ Children get older 1132 01:14:33,637 --> 01:14:38,700 ♪ And I'm getting older too 1133 01:14:47,785 --> 01:14:50,015 - Hey. - Hey. 1134 01:14:50,854 --> 01:14:54,620 What happened to you the other night? You just sort of took off. 1135 01:14:54,692 --> 01:14:57,217 It looked to me like you guys needed a little privacy. 1136 01:14:57,294 --> 01:14:59,592 What I really needed was a little backup. 1137 01:14:59,663 --> 01:15:02,496 She's a kid, Ollie. Kids don't weather change well. 1138 01:15:02,566 --> 01:15:05,899 I mean, in a few years, you won't be able to keep her out of Manhattan. 1139 01:15:05,970 --> 01:15:08,871 But for now, she just wants what she knows. 1140 01:15:08,939 --> 01:15:09,928 So do I. 1141 01:15:10,007 --> 01:15:12,202 Yeah, but is that even what you know anymore? 1142 01:15:12,276 --> 01:15:14,267 Oh, Jesus. You too? 1143 01:15:14,345 --> 01:15:18,179 You want your old life back. Big-money job, out of your old man's house... 1144 01:15:18,248 --> 01:15:20,580 It's not like it doesn't make any sense. 1145 01:15:21,452 --> 01:15:22,851 Yeah. So? 1146 01:15:22,920 --> 01:15:25,650 That's your life that you want back, not theirs. 1147 01:15:25,723 --> 01:15:29,682 I mean, this is their life. What you're sort of saying to everybody who loves you 1148 01:15:29,760 --> 01:15:31,819 is that what we have isn't good enough for you. 1149 01:15:31,895 --> 01:15:34,489 So it's just upsetting everybody, you know? 1150 01:15:35,132 --> 01:15:37,794 - Everybody? - Oh... What, me? 1151 01:15:38,135 --> 01:15:42,071 I mean, it's not like we've got some big romance going on or anything. 1152 01:15:42,139 --> 01:15:44,471 We're just friends, right? 1153 01:15:44,541 --> 01:15:49,171 Did you ever wonder if... maybe someday it might... 1154 01:15:50,514 --> 01:15:53,642 be more than that? 1155 01:15:54,752 --> 01:15:59,712 For about two seconds, before you had me hiding in the shower from your kid. 1156 01:15:59,790 --> 01:16:01,849 Look, Ollie, I like you, but... 1157 01:16:01,925 --> 01:16:05,122 I'm not gonna be all heartbroken 'cause you're leaving town. 1158 01:16:05,195 --> 01:16:06,492 I know. 1159 01:16:06,563 --> 01:16:08,861 Even if I took this job in the city, 1160 01:16:08,932 --> 01:16:15,098 I'd still come back down here and visit my old man. And you. 1161 01:16:15,172 --> 01:16:20,337 Why? I mean, you think I'm gonna stick around here for much longer? 1162 01:16:20,411 --> 01:16:22,845 - Maya... - Ollie... 1163 01:16:24,214 --> 01:16:27,047 I gotta get back to work. 1164 01:16:28,185 --> 01:16:32,622 If... if I don't... if I don't see you at the show, 1165 01:16:32,690 --> 01:16:36,182 give me a call sometime when you get all settled up in the big city. 1166 01:16:36,260 --> 01:16:37,625 Come on... 1167 01:16:44,034 --> 01:16:46,002 Shit. 1168 01:17:11,795 --> 01:17:14,320 ♪ Now there's tears on the pillow 1169 01:17:15,032 --> 01:17:17,000 ♪ Darling where we slept 1170 01:17:18,469 --> 01:17:22,064 ♪ And you took my heart when you left 1171 01:17:24,608 --> 01:17:30,547 ♪ Without your sweet kiss my soul is lost, my friend 1172 01:17:30,614 --> 01:17:35,017 ♪ Tell me, how do I begin again? 1173 01:17:36,887 --> 01:17:40,482 ♪ My city's in ruins 1174 01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:47,126 ♪ My city's in ruins 1175 01:17:50,701 --> 01:17:53,795 ♪ Now with these hands 1176 01:17:54,204 --> 01:17:56,934 ♪ With these hands 1177 01:17:57,574 --> 01:18:00,134 ♪ With these hands 1178 01:18:00,711 --> 01:18:02,838 ♪ With these hands 1179 01:18:02,913 --> 01:18:04,403 ♪ I pray, Lord 1180 01:18:04,481 --> 01:18:07,109 ♪ With these hands 1181 01:18:07,184 --> 01:18:10,449 - ♪ With these hands - ♪ I pray for the strength, Lord 1182 01:18:10,521 --> 01:18:15,083 ♪ With these hands With these hands 1183 01:18:15,159 --> 01:18:17,957 ♪ I pray for the faith, Lord 1184 01:18:20,297 --> 01:18:22,162 Hi, Daddy. 1185 01:18:22,232 --> 01:18:25,292 Hey, baby. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. 1186 01:18:25,369 --> 01:18:27,166 It's OK. 1187 01:18:27,237 --> 01:18:31,731 Listen. I'm sorry - for yelling at you the other night. 1188 01:18:32,576 --> 01:18:38,071 I was wrong. And I didn't mean any of the things that I said. 1189 01:18:38,148 --> 01:18:41,140 I know. Neither did I. 1190 01:18:43,487 --> 01:18:46,285 - Daddy? - Yeah? 1191 01:18:46,356 --> 01:18:49,018 Did Mommy like living in the city? 1192 01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:54,096 Yeah, she did. She loved it. 1193 01:18:54,498 --> 01:18:57,092 Then I guess I'll love it too. 1194 01:18:58,235 --> 01:19:00,965 Thanks, sweetheart. 1195 01:19:01,805 --> 01:19:03,568 Thanks. 1196 01:19:06,743 --> 01:19:10,702 You know, I still might make it to your show tomorrow, if the traffic's not too bad. 1197 01:19:10,781 --> 01:19:15,115 I won't be mad if you miss it. I understand. 1198 01:19:16,053 --> 01:19:19,853 OK, sweetie. Go back to sleep. I love you. 1199 01:19:22,426 --> 01:19:24,587 Good night, Daddy. 1200 01:19:26,463 --> 01:19:28,294 Good night. 1201 01:19:28,365 --> 01:19:31,892 - ♪ With these hands - ♪ I pray for my strength, Lord 1202 01:19:31,969 --> 01:19:37,271 ♪ With these hands With these hands 1203 01:19:37,341 --> 01:19:39,741 ♪ Come on, rise up 1204 01:19:41,578 --> 01:19:43,239 ♪ Come on, rise up 1205 01:19:43,680 --> 01:19:46,478 ♪ Come on, rise up 1206 01:19:46,917 --> 01:19:49,750 ♪ Come on, rise up 1207 01:19:50,220 --> 01:19:53,018 ♪ Come on, rise up 1208 01:19:53,390 --> 01:19:56,325 ♪ Come on, rise up 1209 01:19:56,660 --> 01:20:02,462 ♪ Come on, rise up 1210 01:20:04,468 --> 01:20:07,869 George Clooney's office for Tony on line one. 1211 01:20:07,938 --> 01:20:10,873 The Angellotti Company. One moment, please. 1212 01:20:10,941 --> 01:20:12,602 - Can I help you? - Yes. 1213 01:20:12,676 --> 01:20:17,511 My name's Oliver Trinke and I'm here to see Arthur Brickman and Mr. Angellotti. 1214 01:20:17,581 --> 01:20:18,411 OK. 1215 01:20:18,482 --> 01:20:20,575 Mr. Trinke is here. 1216 01:20:20,651 --> 01:20:22,243 OK, I will. 1217 01:20:22,319 --> 01:20:24,879 - They'll be about ten more minutes. - OK. 1218 01:20:26,590 --> 01:20:29,582 - You can have a seat. - Right, right... 1219 01:20:35,098 --> 01:20:36,395 Hello. 1220 01:20:36,466 --> 01:20:39,458 Oh, my God... Hi! 1221 01:20:39,536 --> 01:20:41,697 I'm here to see Brad. 1222 01:20:41,772 --> 01:20:43,865 Yes! He's expecting you, sir. 1223 01:20:43,941 --> 01:20:48,401 He apologizes, but he's stuck in traffic He's just a few blocks away. 1224 01:20:48,478 --> 01:20:51,811 Why don't you just have a seat and I'll let him know that you've arrived. 1225 01:20:51,882 --> 01:20:53,873 Thank you very much. 1226 01:21:06,830 --> 01:21:10,163 They love to keep you waiting, don't they? 1227 01:21:11,335 --> 01:21:15,965 - Excuse me? - They love to keep you waiting. 1228 01:21:16,039 --> 01:21:19,008 Right. Yeah, yeah, they do. 1229 01:21:19,076 --> 01:21:22,102 I think they think it gives them a psychological edge, you know? 1230 01:21:22,179 --> 01:21:24,739 Well, it's about to give 'em the edge of my ass, 1231 01:21:24,815 --> 01:21:28,080 'cause that's all they're gonna see when I'm walkin' out that door. 1232 01:21:28,151 --> 01:21:30,517 You know anything about these guys? 1233 01:21:30,587 --> 01:21:33,055 Only that they're the fastest-growing... 1234 01:21:33,123 --> 01:21:36,923 “...firm in the business.” Yes, I read that article too. 1235 01:21:36,994 --> 01:21:39,155 All right, well... You know as much as I do. 1236 01:21:39,229 --> 01:21:41,390 I guess that means they know what they're doing. 1237 01:21:41,465 --> 01:21:45,731 I suppose. Unless these publicists hire other publicists to get the word out for 'em. 1238 01:21:45,802 --> 01:21:49,203 Right. And then those publicists hire their own publicists 1239 01:21:49,272 --> 01:21:52,639 to help spin the good publicity they created for these publicists. 1240 01:21:52,709 --> 01:21:55,473 Of course, knowing publicists, they probably hire publicists 1241 01:21:55,545 --> 01:21:57,103 to promote the fact that they spun the publicity 1242 01:21:57,180 --> 01:22:00,946 that they hired the other publicists to spin. So... 1243 01:22:01,018 --> 01:22:03,851 - Oh man! So what do you do? - I'm a publicist. 1244 01:22:06,456 --> 01:22:10,153 I didn't realize I was sitting here talking to an Angellotti man. 1245 01:22:10,227 --> 01:22:13,822 Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not an Angellotti man. 1246 01:22:13,897 --> 01:22:16,229 At least not yet. I'm here trying to get a job. 1247 01:22:16,299 --> 01:22:21,327 These guys have been tryin' to steal me from my publicist since my last flick. 1248 01:22:21,405 --> 01:22:24,374 - Oh, the robot movie, right? - Oh, yeah, you saw it? 1249 01:22:24,441 --> 01:22:26,739 I haven't gotten around to it yet. I'm gonna... 1250 01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:29,210 Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot for the support though, man. 1251 01:22:29,279 --> 01:22:33,181 - I wanna see it... - You know what? It's not that good. 1252 01:22:33,250 --> 01:22:35,946 I have a kid. I don't get a chance to get out and see movies 1253 01:22:36,019 --> 01:22:38,180 unless they have singing crabs in 'em. 1254 01:22:38,255 --> 01:22:40,951 Singing crabs? I saw that one. That means you have a girl. 1255 01:22:41,024 --> 01:22:42,491 That's right. 1256 01:22:42,559 --> 01:22:44,618 - How old is she? - She's seven. 1257 01:22:44,694 --> 01:22:47,254 Yeah? Cool. I got a girl and two boys. 1258 01:22:47,330 --> 01:22:49,230 Three kids? 1259 01:22:49,299 --> 01:22:52,029 God. How do you find time to make all those blockbusters? 1260 01:22:52,102 --> 01:22:53,626 Shoot, if I didn't have all them damn kids, 1261 01:22:53,703 --> 01:22:55,568 I wouldn't have to make these blockbusters. 1262 01:22:55,639 --> 01:22:57,334 Right. 1263 01:22:57,407 --> 01:22:59,398 Oh, man. 1264 01:23:00,010 --> 01:23:03,036 - It's cool, though, isn't it? - Making blockbusters? 1265 01:23:03,113 --> 01:23:06,776 - You tell me. - Bein' a parent, funny man. 1266 01:23:08,085 --> 01:23:10,553 It has its moments. 1267 01:23:10,620 --> 01:23:12,986 - What's your daughter's name? - Gertrude. 1268 01:23:13,356 --> 01:23:15,916 Damn! Why'd you do that to that girl, man? 1269 01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:19,128 - Did you lose a bet? - No. 1270 01:23:19,196 --> 01:23:23,462 - No, it was my wife's name. - “Was”? OK, let me guess. 1271 01:23:23,533 --> 01:23:27,902 She took you for half after she saddled the kid with the name Gert? 1272 01:23:27,971 --> 01:23:31,566 I can't blame it on her. I saddled the kid with the name Gert. 1273 01:23:31,641 --> 01:23:34,701 She died in childbirth. So... 1274 01:23:36,446 --> 01:23:39,210 - No, no, no, it's... - I feel like an asshole, man. 1275 01:23:39,282 --> 01:23:42,683 - Don't worry about it. - No, listen, I'm really sorry about that. 1276 01:23:42,752 --> 01:23:47,212 I didn't see your movie, so we're even. Trust me. 1277 01:23:47,290 --> 01:23:51,283 This is exactly why people don't talk to each other in waiting rooms, right? 1278 01:23:51,361 --> 01:23:54,330 Probably. Although, I gotta tell ya... 1279 01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:58,697 the fact that the guy who wrote “Parents Just Don't Understand” is now a parent 1280 01:23:58,768 --> 01:24:01,168 completely makes up for it. 1281 01:24:02,005 --> 01:24:03,563 Oh, man. We don't though, do we? 1282 01:24:03,640 --> 01:24:05,835 - What's that? - Understand. 1283 01:24:05,909 --> 01:24:10,437 I mean, these kids today. From the door, man, they got it all over us. 1284 01:24:10,547 --> 01:24:14,313 My daughter has it all over me, I can tell you that. 1285 01:24:14,384 --> 01:24:15,908 Yeah, my middle one, my son? 1286 01:24:15,986 --> 01:24:18,546 Every time I walk out of the house in the morning 1287 01:24:18,622 --> 01:24:20,954 he says, “Daddy, how far you love me?” 1288 01:24:21,024 --> 01:24:23,788 I always pick somewhere close. “I love you to that table, man.” 1289 01:24:23,860 --> 01:24:28,194 “No, you don't. You love me all the way to the moon and back down to the dirt.” 1290 01:24:29,666 --> 01:24:30,428 That's great. 1291 01:24:30,500 --> 01:24:33,594 It take everything I got to walk out of that house. 1292 01:24:34,671 --> 01:24:36,730 You get to spend time with them on the set though, right? 1293 01:24:36,806 --> 01:24:41,106 Oh, yeah. But if I was a smart man, I wouldn't be sittin' here right now. 1294 01:24:41,178 --> 01:24:44,841 I'd be at home playing in the dirt with my kids. 1295 01:24:46,650 --> 01:24:49,517 But we all know that I'm not famous 'cause of my brains. 1296 01:24:49,586 --> 01:24:54,455 It's 'cause I'm, like, strikingly handsome, crazy sexy. 1297 01:24:54,524 --> 01:24:58,551 And I'm, like, hung like it's ridiculous. 1298 01:24:59,896 --> 01:25:04,924 Oh, man! But I'm definitely not the sharpest spoon in the shed. 1299 01:25:07,337 --> 01:25:09,862 You know... 1300 01:25:09,940 --> 01:25:12,932 - It was really nice talking to you. - Oh, hey, you too, man. 1301 01:25:13,009 --> 01:25:15,671 - You out? - I'm out. 1302 01:25:15,745 --> 01:25:17,679 Hey, you recommend these guys? 1303 01:25:17,747 --> 01:25:21,513 Only guy I can recommend is named Arthur Brickman. 1304 01:25:21,585 --> 01:25:23,644 Other than that, I can't vouch for anybody. 1305 01:25:23,720 --> 01:25:26,814 Hold on. You Brickman? 1306 01:25:27,958 --> 01:25:32,588 No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play in the dirt with his kid. 1307 01:25:46,142 --> 01:25:49,407 - ♪ Toby! - ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me 1308 01:25:49,479 --> 01:25:51,606 - ♪ Ale there! - ♪ Right, mum! 1309 01:25:51,681 --> 01:25:52,670 ♪ Quick now! 1310 01:25:52,749 --> 01:25:54,649 ♪ God, that's good! 1311 01:25:54,718 --> 01:25:57,243 You want some rouge, or should I just pinch your cheeks? 1312 01:25:57,320 --> 01:26:01,017 Pinch my cheeks, kids' show or not, I'll put you through the wall. 1313 01:26:13,737 --> 01:26:17,673 I'd like to welcome everyone to Saint Maria Goretti's 1314 01:26:17,741 --> 01:26:20,232 Student/Family Fall Pageant. 1315 01:26:23,780 --> 01:26:27,614 This is a celebration of your children and their talents, 1316 01:26:27,684 --> 01:26:29,584 so we hope you enjoy the show. 1317 01:26:29,653 --> 01:26:34,556 Our first act is first-grader Cynthia Bodnar and her mother Jane, 1318 01:26:34,624 --> 01:26:39,391 performing the song “Memory” from the Broadway show Cats. 1319 01:26:45,435 --> 01:26:49,895 And now Tracy Colelli, from Sister Ann's kindergarten class, 1320 01:26:49,973 --> 01:26:54,239 will perform with her parents “Memory” from Cats. 1321 01:27:08,091 --> 01:27:14,291 And now, first-grader Martin Tobias and his mother will perform... 1322 01:27:14,364 --> 01:27:16,924 Oh, boy, this is a popular song. 1323 01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:19,491 ”Memory” from Cats. 1324 01:27:32,449 --> 01:27:34,474 You gotta be kidding me! 1325 01:27:50,700 --> 01:27:54,466 You couldn't make it easy on me, could you, Gert? 1326 01:28:13,189 --> 01:28:15,419 Honey, it's gonna be OK. 1327 01:28:16,559 --> 01:28:20,051 You're next, Gertie. Break a leg. 1328 01:28:57,967 --> 01:29:02,336 And now, we have something not from Cats. Thank God. 1329 01:29:02,405 --> 01:29:06,569 First-grader Gertrude Trinke and her father, Oliver... 1330 01:29:12,115 --> 01:29:15,482 - Just my grandfather. - Oh. 1331 01:29:15,552 --> 01:29:20,114 I'm sorry. First-grader Gertrude Trinke and her grandfather 1332 01:29:20,190 --> 01:29:23,387 will be performing what I can only assume is a hymn, 1333 01:29:23,460 --> 01:29:28,898 entitled “God, That's Good”, from the musical Sweeney Todd. 1334 01:29:42,979 --> 01:29:47,006 ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 1335 01:29:48,885 --> 01:29:50,750 ♪ Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well 1336 01:29:50,820 --> 01:29:54,347 ♪ At that delicate, luscious, ambrosial smell? 1337 01:29:54,424 --> 01:29:56,654 ♪ Yes, they are, I can tell 1338 01:29:56,726 --> 01:30:01,026 ♪ Well, ladies and gentlemen, that aroma enriching the breeze 1339 01:30:01,097 --> 01:30:03,122 ♪ Is like nothing compared to its succulent source 1340 01:30:03,199 --> 01:30:06,191 ♪ As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course 1341 01:30:07,237 --> 01:30:11,697 ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, you can't imagine the rapture and star 1342 01:30:11,774 --> 01:30:15,540 ♪ Just inside of this door 1343 01:30:17,881 --> 01:30:21,647 ♪ There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies 1344 01:30:21,718 --> 01:30:25,347 ♪ Savory and sweet pies, as you see 1345 01:30:25,788 --> 01:30:29,815 ♪ You who eats pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies 1346 01:30:29,893 --> 01:30:33,329 ♪ Conjure up the treat pies used to be 1347 01:30:33,696 --> 01:30:36,688 - ♪ Toby! - ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me... 1348 01:30:36,766 --> 01:30:38,631 - ♪ Ale there! - ♪ Right, mum! 1349 01:30:38,701 --> 01:30:41,465 - ♪ Quick now! - ♪ God, that's good! 1350 01:30:41,538 --> 01:30:43,335 ♪ Nice to see you, dearie 1351 01:30:43,406 --> 01:30:45,567 ♪ How have you been keeping? 1352 01:30:45,642 --> 01:30:49,134 ♪ Cor, me bones is weary Toby! One for the gentleman 1353 01:30:49,212 --> 01:30:52,409 ♪ Hear the birdies cheeping? Helps to keep it cheery 1354 01:30:52,849 --> 01:30:54,840 ♪ Toby! Throw the old woman out! 1355 01:30:54,918 --> 01:30:56,579 ♪ God, that's good! 1356 01:30:56,653 --> 01:31:00,214 ♪ What's your budget, dearie? No, we don't cut slices 1357 01:31:01,124 --> 01:31:03,115 Take this off. 1358 01:31:04,994 --> 01:31:08,088 ♪ ...me prices I'm a little leery 1359 01:31:08,164 --> 01:31:10,064 ♪ Business couldn't be better, though 1360 01:31:10,133 --> 01:31:11,760 ♪ God, that's good! 1361 01:31:11,834 --> 01:31:13,734 ♪ Knock on wood 1362 01:31:13,803 --> 01:31:15,828 ♪ Excuse me 1363 01:31:15,905 --> 01:31:17,736 ♪ Dear, see to the customers 1364 01:31:17,807 --> 01:31:20,469 ♪ Yes, what, love? 1365 01:31:28,685 --> 01:31:30,846 - ♪ Quick now! - ♪ Me heart's a-flutter 1366 01:31:30,920 --> 01:31:32,911 - ♪ When I pound the floor... - ♪ When you pound the floor 1367 01:31:32,989 --> 01:31:34,650 ♪ It's a signal to show that I'm ready to go 1368 01:31:34,724 --> 01:31:36,453 - ♪ When I pound the floor... - ♪ When you pound the floor 1369 01:31:36,526 --> 01:31:39,461 - ♪ Will you trust me? - ♪ I just want to be sure 1370 01:31:39,529 --> 01:31:44,262 ♪ When I'm certain that you're in place I'll pound three times 1371 01:31:44,467 --> 01:31:46,867 ♪ Three times 1372 01:31:46,936 --> 01:31:49,598 ♪ And then you! 1373 01:31:49,672 --> 01:31:52,266 ♪ Three times! 1374 01:31:52,342 --> 01:31:54,572 ♪ If you... 1375 01:31:54,644 --> 01:31:56,271 ♪ Exactly! 1376 01:31:56,346 --> 01:31:58,075 - ♪ More hot pies! - ♪ God! 1377 01:31:58,147 --> 01:31:59,375 - ♪ More hot! - ♪ Right! 1378 01:31:59,449 --> 01:32:01,781 ♪ More pies! More! 1379 01:32:01,851 --> 01:32:03,648 ♪ Wait! 1380 01:32:15,465 --> 01:32:17,797 ♪ God, that's good! 1381 01:32:30,246 --> 01:32:31,770 Shit. 1382 01:32:55,505 --> 01:32:58,736 - I love you, Daddy. - I love you too. 1383 01:32:58,808 --> 01:33:00,799 I love you so much. 1384 01:33:00,877 --> 01:33:03,072 - You were great. - You too. 1385 01:33:10,019 --> 01:33:12,010 You... guys... 1386 01:33:12,088 --> 01:33:14,886 were... great! 1387 01:33:16,626 --> 01:33:18,617 Oh, God! 1388 01:33:18,695 --> 01:33:21,095 Hey, Gertie! Come dance with me. 1389 01:33:21,164 --> 01:33:25,260 - Bye, Uncle Greenie. Bye, Uncle Block. - Bye, sweetheart. 1390 01:33:26,569 --> 01:33:28,935 - I'm startin' to like show business. - Yeah. 1391 01:33:29,005 --> 01:33:34,033 Well, don't get caught up in the glory. Tomorrow you're on shithouse duty. 1392 01:33:34,110 --> 01:33:39,412 You know, sometimes I just wanna... 1393 01:33:39,482 --> 01:33:42,713 I'm so tired of being your little geisha. 1394 01:33:42,785 --> 01:33:45,618 You had me worried there for a minute. 1395 01:33:45,688 --> 01:33:49,590 Yeah, who knew all those years you were nursing a case of stage fright. 1396 01:33:49,659 --> 01:33:53,459 Not about that, smart ass. About the other thing. 1397 01:33:54,030 --> 01:33:58,023 - About moving away. - Come on, Dad. 1398 01:33:58,101 --> 01:34:00,160 Don't you wanna live alone again? 1399 01:34:01,104 --> 01:34:04,335 Not as much as I don't wanna die alone. 1400 01:34:13,583 --> 01:34:15,574 We're not going anywhere, Pop. 1401 01:34:23,126 --> 01:34:24,889 You wanna go over there and cheer up your pop? 1402 01:34:24,961 --> 01:34:28,522 He's devastated about missing his big singing debut. 1403 01:34:28,598 --> 01:34:30,589 Aw! 1404 01:34:30,666 --> 01:34:32,861 Pop! 1405 01:34:35,705 --> 01:34:37,730 Hey, Princess! 1406 01:34:38,641 --> 01:34:41,769 Look at you. Mr. Big Hero of the Night. 1407 01:34:41,844 --> 01:34:46,338 Yeah, well, it might take me longer than some, but I... 1408 01:34:46,415 --> 01:34:48,747 May I? 1409 01:34:48,818 --> 01:34:50,809 OK. 1410 01:34:52,388 --> 01:34:55,414 I like to think I come around eventually. 1411 01:34:55,491 --> 01:34:58,688 Well, you showing up when you did like that? 1412 01:34:58,761 --> 01:35:02,663 That was just about the most romantic thing I've ever seen. 1413 01:35:04,233 --> 01:35:06,633 Honestly. 1414 01:35:06,702 --> 01:35:09,637 Well... stick around. 1415 01:35:11,607 --> 01:35:14,098 It may get even more romantic than that. 1416 01:35:14,177 --> 01:35:16,907 - Really? - Yeah. 1417 01:35:20,449 --> 01:35:23,612 See? How was that for romance? 1418 01:35:27,056 --> 01:35:29,684 I'll think about it. 1419 01:35:31,494 --> 01:35:33,655 Do that. 1420 01:35:34,497 --> 01:35:36,692 Ollie Trinke... 1421 01:36:01,123 --> 01:36:02,385 Hey. 1422 01:36:02,859 --> 01:36:05,760 Your kid's cuttin' a rug with that Maya. 1423 01:36:11,234 --> 01:36:14,635 The sun even shines on a dog's ass some days. 1424 01:36:15,638 --> 01:36:17,765 You getting a dog? 1425 01:36:23,913 --> 01:36:25,676 Maya? 1426 01:36:25,748 --> 01:36:29,149 - Can I dance with my dad now? - If you must. 1427 01:36:29,218 --> 01:36:32,745 Don't let him go, though, Gert. He's one of a kind. 1428 01:36:34,390 --> 01:36:36,415 I know. 1429 01:36:38,127 --> 01:36:40,721 Come here. 1430 01:36:40,796 --> 01:36:43,663 - You wanna dance? - So, no city? 1431 01:36:44,166 --> 01:36:47,932 - No. No city. - We're staying here with Pop? 1432 01:36:48,938 --> 01:36:51,702 God help us, yes, we're staying with Pop. 1433 01:36:51,941 --> 01:36:56,708 - And you're taking me to see Cats? - Oh-ho! Nice try, but no. 1434 01:36:58,147 --> 01:37:01,742 - Thank you, Daddy. - Anything for you, Gert. 1435 01:37:02,752 --> 01:37:05,721 - You know why? - Why? 1436 01:37:06,255 --> 01:37:09,452 'Cause you're the only thing I was ever really good at. 1437 01:38:21,998 --> 01:38:26,662 ♪ I got no time for the corner boys 1438 01:38:27,737 --> 01:38:32,674 ♪ Down in the street making all that noise 1439 01:38:34,143 --> 01:38:38,011 ♪ Or the girls out on the avenue 1440 01:38:39,782 --> 01:38:46,085 ♪ 'Cause tonight I wanna be with you 1441 01:38:46,155 --> 01:38:50,353 ♪ Tonight I'm gonna take that ride 1442 01:38:51,427 --> 01:38:56,194 ♪ Across the river to the Jersey side 1443 01:38:57,600 --> 01:39:01,229 ♪ Take my baby to the carnival 1444 01:39:03,205 --> 01:39:09,235 ♪ Then I'll take her on all the rides 1445 01:39:09,311 --> 01:39:14,806 ♪ 'Cause down the shore everything's all right 1446 01:39:14,884 --> 01:39:20,345 ♪ You and your baby on a Saturday night 1447 01:39:21,590 --> 01:39:25,287 ♪ You know all my dreams come true 1448 01:39:26,595 --> 01:39:31,999 ♪ When I'm walking down the street with you 1449 01:39:32,068 --> 01:39:36,767 ♪ Sing sha la la la la la la 1450 01:39:38,674 --> 01:39:42,804 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1451 01:39:44,413 --> 01:39:48,611 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1452 01:39:50,019 --> 01:39:56,322 ♪ Sha la la Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl 1453 01:39:56,392 --> 01:40:00,453 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1454 01:40:02,431 --> 01:40:06,231 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1455 01:40:08,304 --> 01:40:13,071 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1456 01:40:14,176 --> 01:40:18,112 ♪ Sha la la la la la 1457 01:40:19,615 --> 01:40:24,518 ♪ You know she thrills me with all her charms 1458 01:40:25,754 --> 01:40:30,748 ♪ When I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms 1459 01:40:31,560 --> 01:40:35,519 ♪ My little girl gives me everything 1460 01:40:37,299 --> 01:40:42,032 ♪ I know someday that she'll wear my ring 1461 01:40:42,938 --> 01:40:48,171 ♪ So don't bother me, man, I ain't got no time 1462 01:40:49,078 --> 01:40:54,516 ♪ I'm on my way to see that girl of mine 1463 01:40:55,317 --> 01:40:59,447 ♪ 'Cause nothing matters in this whole wide world 1464 01:41:01,023 --> 01:41:07,519 ♪ When you're in love with a Jersey girl 1465 01:41:07,596 --> 01:41:11,760 ♪ Sha la la la la la la 1466 01:41:13,369 --> 01:41:18,568 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la la la la la 1467 01:41:19,408 --> 01:41:24,675 ♪ Sha la la la la la la la 1468 01:41:24,747 --> 01:41:30,617 ♪ Sha la la Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl